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Celestial Reviews 256 - February 7, 1998 Note: A husband and wife noticed that their little boy's penis was a little too small so they took him to the doctor. They expressed their concerns to the doctor. The doctor said to feed the little boy lots of toast. The next morning, the wife gets up really early and makes a huge stack of toast. When the little boy comes down to breakfast, the mother says, "Take the top two slices. The rest are for your father." Second note: A businessman gets onto a bus and finds a seat next to a nun at the front of the bus. After some interesting conversation, the man asks the nun if she would have sex with him. Surprised by the question, the nun politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts on its way, the bus driver says to the businessman, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you." The businessman replies that he'd love to know; so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the Lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "you could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you." The businessman decides to try this out. So that Tuesday he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun, who shows up right on schedule. When she's in the middle of her prayer, the businessman jumps out from hiding, dressed in robes and glowing with a mask of God. "I am God! I have heard your prayers, and I will answer them, but you must have sex with me first." The nun agrees but asks for anal sex, so that she might keep her virginity. The businessman agrees to this and quickly sets about to go to work on the nun. After the Businessman finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha, ha, I'm the businessman!" The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha, ha, I'm the bus driver!" Third note: I just received a spam ad for a Virtual Girlfriend. This reminded me of a pre-computer-days joke. The man was on a business trip. He missed his wife and was getting horny. After he checked into his hotel room, he went into the bathroom to do his daily duty. On the wall in the little room next to the toilet was a nicely padded hole about three inches in diameter with a sign above it that read, "Your Wife Away from Home." The very thought gave him a raging hard-on. "What will these hotels think of next?" he thought, as he guided his engorged cock into the opening which was the perfect size and at the perfect height. Suddenly he felt an extremely painful sensation at the end of his cock, and when he withdrew his penis he found a button nicely sewn to the end of it. Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com. - Celeste |