Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this written work is copyrighted
with all rights reserved by the author unless explicitly indicated. For
questions or concerns, email planonudist@yahoo.com.  Copyright 2005

I've loved the naked in school story line, but you all have completely
missed the point.  Having actively gone to nudist clubs for a while,
none of you can imagine what it is really like.  Sensual but not sexual,
I've never seen an erection at a club, and only once heard a story about
a man getting an erection.  Strange how you get an erection thinking
about being naked, but actually being naked around other people is
enough to keep you soft :)  Still, here is my attempt at joining the fun.
Tell me what you all think!  I'll write a serious addition to this story
line/genre eventually.  For now, I'm having too much fun!

Codes: mf hs exhib parody spank anal job dream toys (sort-ofs: ws cd)

planonudist <planonudist@yahoo.com>
http://www.geocities.com/planonudist/

===== Begin =====

James/Elizabeth Drunk and Naked at school

My name is James Smith.  A straightforward, average, uninteresting name
for a straightforward, average, uninteresting person.  Not even my hobbies
are interesting.  I'm not athletic, talented, or even handsome.  All I
have going for me are a lot of friends who love to drink.  Occasionally,
every couple of years, something amazing happens.  This last week
was one of those: my week in the program.  I had seen the kids in the
halls, even made a few 'reasonable requests', but the whole idea was a
little creepy to me.  How could I do that, how could I do those things?
I wasn't sure how I was going to cope when it came time.  The idea of
being naked didn't worry me, the idea of being embarrassed, and noticed,
at school worried me.  Don't get me wrong, I had spent a lot of time
naked, at home.  Being naked at home, sleeping, showering changing,
even at the dinner table, doesn't matter.  Being embarrassed by people
I don't know does matter.

I spent my time doing the required classes.  Math, history, English, etc.
The only club I was involved with was the alternative club, the club
for people who didn't typically join clubs.  Yes, it's really called
the 'Alternative Club'.  It's kind of a hold over from early nineties
when everything was 'Alternative'.  I think the teachers and students
involved like having a club they can do anything with.  I worked at a
local computer store, but I won't touch on that here.  The store was
shut down for the owners semi-annual vacation.

The Program had been going on for a few years now.  It has caused quite
a few changes in town, but, it hasn't caused all that much to change
in my life (until now...)  In town everyone can go naked, although
I rarely do.  Texas has an 'equal rights under the law' clause,
so the laws couldn't be changed to let one sex or age group to naked
when another couldn't.  But, the unpredictable weather pretty much
disallows anyone from seriously going naked around town, it's saved for
in-doors.  Ever been naked when a thunderstorm is rolling in?  It's fun at
first....  Some people worked naked now, some restaurants worked it into their
themes, the local football team's cheerleaders wore nothing but cowboy boots,
cowgirl hats, and a tassel slung around the waist.  My life though,
was mostly unchanged.

Sunday night I went a kegger down the street from my home.  My parents
knew the parties were getting 'out of hand', but enjoyed their time
away from me so they didn't make me stop going.  My parents had given
me the OK to go, knowing full well the party was just down the street.
The Coltiers were out of town for the weekend, and their daughters took
the chance to celebrate the pass of time and hosted the party this time.

The parties were planned but unorganized.  The beer was warm and frothy.
The alcohol was scattered.  The food was all over the place on one table.
The Coltiers had a grand ranch style house, built before the houses
around it.  It looked out of place in the subdivision, being 20 years
older than the other houses.  It also was one of the few with an actual
yard and pool.  The white brick looked like something out of a bad
eighties drama.

Everyone was clothed at first.  Not sure why, the style for kids at
parties these days was for most to wear as little as possible.  Everyone
was in the drab T-Shirts and Blue-Jeans they threw on when they got home
from school.  The most interesting outfit was a few girls who weren't
wearing bras.  Their tits jiggled often, but never when you expected
them to.  Never when you hoped them to.  One of the Coltier girls was
in a miniskirt, but she was not the friendliest person tonight, so I
paid no mind.

The party started in the kitchen and moved to the back yard.  The Coltiers
were all great cooks and raised their girls right.  Each girl was a
regular chef.  Everything but the mushroom dip was good.  Not even the
Coltier girls would eat it after an hour or so.  Not sure what happened
to it in the end....

The drinks were beer and kiddy drinks until the sun went down.
Whoever thought up Zima should be shot, but people brought it anyway.
Slowly the hard stuff started coming out. Steinhager, Vodka, Tequila,
whys the stuff have to taste as nasty as it sounds?

After I was already tipsy I found out why the Coltier's girl was wearing
a miniskirt.  She was in charge of drinks and started making 'margetinis'.
She threw herself up on the table and lifted her skirt, sitting back.
Her pussy was bare and very wet, everyone was fighting to get a look.
She took a martini glass and rimmed it with her pussy juices.  She then
got a funny look in her face and dropped an olive from her pussy to
the glass.  After everyone laughed she dumped the olive (with juice)
into a shaker, poured some blue bombay gin, vermouth  and ice into it,
and shook for a second.  She then strained the drink into the glass and
took a sip.

"Who wants one?"  Everyone cheered....

I found out later margetini's are also supposed to have some curlies in
them.  The curlies turned blue from the Bombay Gin, hence along with the
juices you get a "Marge"-tini.  However, our Marge was blessfully shaven.

The first people to get naked were a couple of guys.  They had been
doing keg stands and lost their excuses.  None of them interesting.
The next was a girl who was thrown into the pool.  Nobody claimed
responsibility for that one.  She was naked before she got out, and
soon was drinking beer off of the cocks of the guys who had been doing
keg stands.  Before long it was a regular orgy.

The Coltier sisters were all naked now.  The bartender was letting a
couple of guys eat olives out of her pussy.  Another guy was trying to
figure out how to make a 'margerita' with his girl friend, just making
a mess in the progress.

I passed out on the couch for a while.  Woke up dressed, in some
girls clothes.  Heard they took pictures, but I've never seen them.
I realized two girls were going at it next to me.  Not sure if the sight
just didn't turn me on, or the beer was still in my system.  I stripped
off the clothes and went looking for more to drink.  The site was like
jonesville the day after.  Bodied were sprawled everywhere.  Some people
still fucking or making out.  A room full of drunk asleep guys watching
some weird shit on TV.  Found a girl with a tequila bottle tip in her
twat, pulled it out only to find it empty.

The Coltier's sister bartender woke and was watching me look around.

"Looking for something girlyboy?" She smirked.

"Just something more to drink."

"Ahh, look in the pool."  She said, falling back to sleep.  I looked
her over, she was covered in something sticky, and I don't think it was
olive oil.  There was a puddle of gunk on the chair between her legs
as she lay there.  Didn't want to know what it was, didn't look like
anything I'd seen before.

Went outside and look around the pool.  All the coolers were empty.
Then in the dark I saw the drinks IN the pool.  Bottles of hard liquor
were floating around.  Looked like more bottles and cans were on the
bottom.  I dived in, waking some poor girl on a float.  After I grabbed
the first thing to float by I came up for air.

"Hey sweet-hard, wanna fuck?" Awful clever for this time of night.

"Don't think I have it in me, wanna drink instead?"

"Sure".

"What'cha got?" she asked.

"Don't know, the label fell off."

"Oh.  Is it clear?"

"Yes", I said back.

"Good, means it's safe." she joked.

I didn't want to know what that meant, so I took a swig.  Having been
drinking for a night I didn't think something could still burn like that.
After I coughed up a bit, she laughed at me and took the bottle.

She downed a couple of swallows.

"Wow", was all I could say.

"Thanks" She said, turning red from whatever was in the bottle.

"What is this?"

"Don't know, wish they still labeled stuff with special bottles."

"Yeah, that'd be nice."

After that, we got out of the pool and found a spot in the grass.

"Think there are bugs?"

"Probably not" She hick-upped.  "Not since they came up with those special
injections for lawns.  No bugs on this side of the fence."

"Ah"  Then I remembered the news specials I saw on that stuff, called
'Alterations'.  Normally alterations are for people, inject bigger
boobs, less or more hair.  Eventually there were connoisseurs who
could do anything to anything, including lawns.  Blue grass, red
grass, funny shaped flowers, even bio-engineered chimera grass with
surreal attachments.  One guy was bragging about how he'd figured out
a way to grown penises out of grass.  Actual, human penises sprouting
out of the lawn like flowers.  It was like a creepy Dali painting.
Then the first real hot days hit and the picture got worse...  I hear
the guy never tried again after the police made him stop.  Too many dogs
digging penis's out of the yard and taking them back to their owners.
Quite a few upset phone calls had been put in.  And people used to think
pink-lawn flamingos were tacky....

The girl and I shot the shit, and talked.  Laughed at the people stumbling
around inside.  Listened to a girl moaning in the corner.  It was nice,
but I passed out at some point.

Woke up in the back yard feeling something cold and wet brushing my back.
After I emitted a moan, I heard a bright and chipper "good morning" from
who had to be Susan, the Colter's youngest daughter.  Then I realized
she was spraying me with the garden hose, I jumped up and charged her,
chasing the giggling junior high girl only to realize I was naked
and dirty.  As soon as I stopped, I lost my balance and slipped back
into some foul smelling mud.  As I sat there cringing in pain, Susan's
laughing got to be too much.  Only then did I realize, my mother was
standing behind her watching everything.

"James Lawrence Smith!" my mother yelled, suppressing a smile.

Still in a drunken stupor, I could only stare in disbelief, and tried
to cover myself in mock modesty.

"What do you think you are doing?"

Stammering for words I could only look around in astonishment.  My
muttered words of confusion "Just put my head down for a second...." were
interrupted by a headache and more yelling from her.

"Just for a second?  It's 9 AM!  We let you have careless fun with your
friends for one night and you betray us!"

"But mom, what did I do wrong?"

"What did you do wrong?  You never came home!"

"But mom..."

"No buts!"  And, she slapped me on the ass.  Still stunned at having been
slapped for the first time in years.  I briefly forgot my nakedness and
wondered about the pain until I saw Susan smirking at the ordeal.

"What are you looking at brat?"

Susan just replied "you're in trouble now!" and ran off giggling, her
skirt flipping at me like a bad joke as she ran away.

"James, how dare you say that to her?"

"But mom"

"No buts!  Now, get home and get cleaned up, you're late for school!"

"My clothes?..."

"You'll do without today.  You partied like that so you can deal with it.
Now get home!"

I looked around the party quickly, the pool had been lifted of it's
alcohol at some point.  Most people were gone, including the girl I
spoke with last night.

Mom then threatened me to go to school naked and take part in the program,
the thought of going through with it actually scared me.  As I dusted
off the (mutant) grass and started to walk home, could only think about
what Melissa would think if she saw me.  I seemed to remember bragging
last night I could go naked any time I want, only to chicken out in just
my underwear.  I started to wonder how I finally lost my underwear when
I heard a bark from mother.

"Hurry up!"

The walk from the Coltier's to the house was uneventful.  No cars passed
by, everyone who could have passed by was already at work.  Afraid of
what was on display to the world, I didn't think that this sight would
have been almost normal now.  A boy walking naked down the street was
nothing to gawk at.  Although the stern looking woman in a business suit
spanking him would have cause a few double takes....

Now, my family had never been modest.  The only rule was not to leave
your clothes by the front door, they were supposed to be sorted.  But,
no one outside of our family and friends had ever seen me naked before
last night.  Now in front of the neighborhood, I could only be afraid
of the pissed off woman behind me....

Once we got to the house my mother told me to stop there and wait on
the porch.  She went inside and got something, only to emerge with a
towel and some soap.

"Hose of and get cleaned up out here"

"But, mom the water will be cold"

"Get that look out of your eyes and get cleaned up.  If you can sleep
outside you can get cleaned up outside.  And, I will not let you into the
house looking or smelling like that.  You'll get another shower inside!"

Set to my fate, the cold water did nothing for my ego.  The water at
first was cold and it took me a while to figure out how to clean myself.
Having only spent time playing with the hose, I had never figured
out how to clean with it.  I settled on an easy get wet everywhere.
Turn off the hose, soap up.  Get wet everywhere again, then dry off.
My mom had other plans.

"Look at me, why are you being so slow?  I have to be at my interview
soon!"

Then as she got closer, we both realized I was still drunk.

"How much did you drink last night?"  She said, grabbing the hose.

"Can't remember..."

"Well dear, that's a problem.  Not being able to remember means you had
too many.  And, your father is going to punish you for that and other
things when he gets home!..."  The rest was not important.  She yelled
at me not to get her wet.

When we finally moved to-wards the door she made me wash/dry off my feet
again.  Before I went inside.  Finally getting into the air-conditioning
only shocked me.

"Get a move on!" she yelled, and I ran off to get ready for the day.

The warm water was nice and helped clear off the fog.  I laughed when I
saw the chaos that had been my sister in the bathroom.  Piles of laundry
and clothes, that she conveniently blamed on me?  When I got out of the
too short shower I brushed my teeth and ran to my room, only to find my
mother waiting for me.

"Dear, we need to talk" damn straight I thought....

"James, you shouldn't have allowed yourself to get out of hand last night.
I don't know what happened, but I'm sure we will hear about it.  For now,
you will be punished by going to school like you are.  Your father will
take care of the rest tonight".

"Naked!?" I yelped.

"Yes, and don't make me angry.  You know it is normal now for kids to
go naked.  Just last week at the PTA they said they needed more parents
to encourage their children to participate, now grab your bag and your
shoes and follow me downstairs."

You see, my parents believed there were two parts to every
deal/price/punishment.  An immediate price, and a long term price.
The immediate punishment for letting myself get out of hand last night
was to go to school naked.  The long term price, I can only imagine.
And with them, I could never be sure what they were really mad at.
And all of this only made me hate the PTA more.

As soon as I had my shoes on (funny feeling, shoes and socks and no
clothes) she led me out of the room.  As I tried to balance myself going
down the stairs I finally had a chance to look at what she was wearing.

The program had changed a lot of things, hard to believe she was going to
a job interview in that.  A black miniskirt with a heavy cotton blouse.
The cut-outs of the back were embroidered to look like knotted and
crossed, and covered the length of her back, to the top of the skirt.
Her muscles were obviously defined underneath and the lack of a bra
were merely interesting.  The skirt was stretched taught and nearly see
through, I couldn't be sure if she was wearing anything under it or not.
The front of her blouse was fairly boring.  Cut from a single piece,
the seams of the sewing emphasized her nipples.

We got to the bottom and she turned around and looked at me patiently
for a bit.

"You know we love you, right hon?"  She chirped.

"Yes, mom".

"Do you know why we are doing this?"

"I think so mom".

"Then why?" She quipped.

"Because I didn't come home last night".

"No, that's not it.  You need to figure out why.  Think about it today.
If you don't figure it out, your punishment will only be worse."

"Yes, mom."

"OK, now let's get you to school."

The drive to school was as uneventful as the walk home.  The drive
though felt more like a ride to a guillotine than a ride to school.
My unknown fate started to fade from forefront of my mind when I saw
Melissa walking by the side of that car.  Watching the swish of her
uniform skirt I started to feel that familiar tingle, only to remember
I was naked in the car with my mom and everything went away.

"What's wrong dear?"  Mom asked

"Nothing" What do you think is wrong, bitch?

"If there is anything you need or don't understand you can talk it over
with me.  Right?"  She asked.

The warm look in her eyes made me forget everything that had happened
in the last hour.  Only to realize I was feeling a little woozy....

My mind came back to size up the situation.  Here I was, still drunk,
naked, in a car with my mom, only to face the yet uncertain world of
going naked to school.

We pulled up and there were not many people in sight.  Most where already
in class, the rest where just parents.  My mother quickly wrote a note
and told me to give to the admin at the front desk.  She gave me a quick
kiss and told me to shoo.

As I ran in the front door I started to think about some of the advantages
of clothes, protection from yourself is one of them.  As I got to the
from desk the admin asked for my note with barely a glance.  I handed
it to her.

"That's a funny note" she said.

"What you do mean?"

"Didn't you read it?  Is it some sort of joke?  Here you go."  And she
handed the note back to me.

I took the note and read it trying not to laugh.

The note said simply.  "Laundry was all dirty.  Please accept my late
son and take him into the program for failing to do his chores" signed
simply "Mrs. Smith".

"Not the best excuse I've heard, but I have to accept it."  And she
gave me a real note and a copy of the pamphlet to get back into class,
now in second period.

"You know the rules right?"

"Yes, ma'am" I answered.

"Good, now get to class.  We'll do your official introduction to the
program some other time."

As I walked away I bumped into the door and swooned as I felt some more
of last night about to come up.

"Are you all right dear?" The admin asked in a friendly way.

In the most serious voice I could muster:

"Yes, I'm fine.  Just a little cold".

She could hardly restrain herself from laughing as I walked of.

"Ooooh, that's rich" She canted as the door closed.

Walking through the halls I started to realize how much of last night
was with me as I walked into the bathroom.

Walking in I looked in the mirror.  My flushed and haggard face and
abnormally white eyes made me look like a ghost of myself.  I looked in
the mirror and just felt dirty.  Looked at my chest and saw the forming
of a fresh bruise.  A large one from the looks of it, would be painful
shortly.  I quickly splashed and wiped off my face, heading to class.
Too uncomfortable to even think about taking a leak.

Walking to class I saw a few of the new "Spirit" posters.  Over zealous
students had always plastered the halls with peppy decorated signs for
school spirit.  But, since the program took over, the signs had changed
from gaudy to downright perverted.  The picture of the foot ball team,
complete with spread eagled, well fucked, cheerleaders in the front.
A huge glitter glue sign proclaiming "Go Giants, keep 'em hard as rocks"
was stapled to the ceiling.  Another sign encouraging feminist awareness
week featured a huge not-to-scale vulva with a flower in it.  I almost
walked past my own class reading the crap....

As I walked into class the still bright lights caught me off guard.
The class quickly went almost silent as I walked in, that is except for
the giggling of the girls and a few boys.

"Ahh, Mr. Smith, nice of you to pop up".  Ms. Cagle mused.

Ms Cagle was interesting, none of us knew what to make of her.  She was
the most serious of all teachers, but at times the most seriously fun.
She was one of the few teachers that had taken part in the program.
Most of us hated her, until we got to know her.

"Excuse me." I said, heading toward my desk, trying to cover whatever
modesty I had left with my bag.

"Mr. Smith, could I speak with you a moment?  You won't need your books."
I reluctantly put my bag on my desk and went to the front desk, every
movement amplified my headache.

"Yes, ma'am?" I asked tentatively.

"Where is your note?" She tort-ed, asking for it.

I merely handed it to her without a word.  To my surprise, she immediately
started laughing.  "Oooh, that's rich."  I had forgotten to read the
note.....

She quickly put away the note and announced to the class.

"Class, since we were having study hall.  It seems we can put Mr. Smith
here to use.  Normally, a student may ask for relief, but since he
obviously doesn't need any, feel free to ask him any question you like."

I stared out at the class mortified, only to get back equally mortified
stares.  I looked there at my petrified classmates, and a few friends,
only to realize they were just as scared as I was.  Shaken out of their
half-hearted self-study, they were too scared of this naked drunken
exhausted haggard looking boy to even think straight.  After a few
moments, the teacher replied:

"Well, if there is nothing you all can think of...  James, please clean
off the white-board.  And don't get it messy."

I blushed, only to realize she was worried about my cock getting all
dusty.  As she turned her legs out from under the desk, I realized she
would only make my job more difficult, as I realized she was wearing
one of those transparent skirts without underwear, her unkempt brown bush
peaking out from the opening.

As I started to clean the board, I started to fear she was right.  But,
by the time I was done, I only had felt that familiar tickle.

"Good job James" She quickly announced, only to stand up and walk over
to me.

"But you missed a spot"  Only to quickly reach out and lightly brush off
some chalk dust from my penis.  That finally did it, I was as hard as
a rock.  The class around me laughed casually, even Mrs. Cagle laughed,
as I was told to take a seat.

"Class, we'll now resume self study, back to work."  Mrs. Cagle announced
as I took a seat.

As I tried to focus and study I heard a gentle wet brushing sound.
Listening to it I couldn't hear where it was coming from, only to realize
it was someone playing with them-self.  I couldn't even tell if it was
a man or a woman from the gentle rhythmic wet sound.  I looked up and
realized Ms. Cagle was intently staring at me as she pretended to write.
It couldn't be her, could it?  I thought to myself.

As I thought again she looked away.  A moment later something hit my side,
I looked down to realize it was a note on the floor.

"You OK?"  My friend Jamie had written.  I looked over at him and
mouthed "Fucked up".  He suppressed a laugh and started writing again.
Quickly another note flew my way "See me after class, I have a great
hangover cure."  Knowing Jamie, I wasn't going to like this, but I would
try anything.

During class I tried to read the morbid text we were required to
study.  Why is all serious literature about death and gloom I thought?
Several times I caught myself feeling like I was being watched, which
only worsened my anxiousness.  Once the bell rang every one jumped up,
including myself, and I made a bee line over to Jamie.

"So, you have something that will help me?"

"Yeah, follow me" He droned.

We went out to his locker, opened it and grabbed a little vial.

"Drink this quickly, and don't sip it" he said as I handed over the
suspicious looking vial.

I opened it up, and didn't smell anything.  Quickly I drank it down,
only to cough and sputter part of it back up.

"What was that?" I cried

"Man your sense of smell is really gone today.  Everclear."

"What?"

"That's right.  The best hangover cure in the world."

"But that'll keep me drunk!" moaned

"That's right.  It'll put some color in your cheeks too, both sets!"
He laughed.

Not caring and only wanting some water in my mouth to quench the pain,
I groaned and ran off the water fountain, not caring who I bumped into.
After I drank as much water as I could stand, I looked around only to
see Jamie gone.  I'll get him later.

As I started to try to remember where my locker was (right beside
me....) I opened it and threw my books in, only to run off again to Gym.
After walking into the boys room I was greeting with looks of horror,
humor, and envy as I wondered what was wrong.

"James, what are you doing like that?"  Coach Fritch asked.

"I'm in the program today sir."

"I didn't get any notice of this, who set you up?"

"My mother did sir." I squeaked.

"Well, if that's the case.  You are in the wrong locker room.  You need
to be in the ladies room next door, now hurry up!"

Somebody laughed in the back, whistling taps as I realized I was trapped
and started to walk off.

You never realize how close the doors are between the ladies room
and the mens locker room are until you have to cross them.  As I left
the locker room and entered the other I was taken aback by a number
of things.  Not only the smell of womens sweat and perfume and soap all
mixed together.  But of the screaming of two girls fighting in the back.
It was then I realized, this wasn't a good place to be....

Quickly the other PE teach, Mrs. Jones caught my eye and walked over.

"James, right?" She asked.

"Yes, ma'am."

"So, I take it you are in the program?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Don't call me ma'am.  My moma's ma'am and I haven't had any children yet".
She ordered.

"Yes ma....  Yes Mrs. Jones."

"Thank you, that'll do for now.  You don't need a locker now, but you
can put your shoes in my office for when you shower after-wards.  Just go
out into the gym for now, as you are already ready."

I walked out onto the gym and took a seat, wishing for the first time
that I was dressed as the benches were cold.  Looking out in the gym,
the cheerleaders were already practicing.

Their practicing uniforms were fairly standard.  Blue tennis skirts with
t-shirts and sports bras as the girls saw fit.  They briefly took notice
of me then started practicing.

As a few of my classmates emerged from their respective locker rooms,
I realized with interest that one of the cheerleaders wasn't wearing
panties.  Watching her skirt twirl I smiled and relaxed and forgot about
my problems.  Within moments the other cheerleaders noticed and started
clucking and yelling at each other, only to laugh and chase the bottomless
girl around.  After the grabbed her they removed her shirt, leaving her
with only a lose skirt to cover with, while she was constantly pleading:
"Hey, no fair!" Over and over again.

The blond head cheerleader ran over my way, threw the poor girls shirt
and bra and me yelling "Keep this".

I was smiled and grabbed it, as I stood up to catch it I only realized
that I had gotten another erection.  They laughed and drew attention
to my predicament, all of them coming over.  Even the now mostly naked
brunette forgetting her recent disrobing.

"Hey, why are you in the program, you weren't announced, James" Why
is it some cheerleaders always seem to know your name when you don't
know theirs?  And others, don't even notice you there.

"My mom put me in"

"Is that so?  Did you like our show?"  Another asked

I could only blush in response.

After that I saw noticed one of the cheerleaders stagger and start to
fall, only to catch herself on another girl.  The other cheerleaders
laughed and started chanting her name.  It was then I realized they
all looked a little red.  The shortest cheerleader, the Asian/American
mix girl named Kimiko walked over to her gym bag and grabbed something
out of it.  She took the FlowerPuff girl Thermos and took a great big
drink.  Handing it to another girl, it went girl to each taking a drink.
Eventually, one handed it to me with a wink, before they all ran of.

Not caring, I took a swig.  Tasted like some sort of apple candy with
a bite.  I then sat back down and watched.

It looked like the cheerleaders had made a drinking game out of their
practice.  As one made a mistake, she had to come over, take a swig,
remove a piece of clothing, and return to the team.  After the teachers
game out of their locker rooms, the girls stopped taking a drink, but
they still were losing clothes as the class went by.

The students were starting to get warmed up.  It's neat to watch gym from
the sidelines, especially when it is normally your class.  For the first
time, I noticed the fronts of what a lot of the students were wearing.
Some of the guys were wearing normal t-shirts and gym shorts.  Others were
wearing nothing at all.  It was the girls who showed the most diversity,
anything from full body spandex warm-up suits, to sports bras and speedos,
to thongs, and even one girl wearing nothing but a pirates eye patch,
great big hoop earrings, and a hip pouch swung to the side like a sword
holdster....

Mrs. Jones now came out of the locker room, wearing a conservative thong,
sports bra, and a whistle.  Her eyes immediately focused on the pirate,
and made her lose the holster.  The dejected girl barely managed to
whimper an ARG.  Mrs. Jones then looked at me.

"James, why are you still sitting down.  Are you not feeling all right?"
She quizzed.

"No, I'm feeling funny" Yep, very funny....

"Well, why don't you sit out practice today, here, guard my clip board
for me."  She said handing me a standard wooden clip board with an
intimidating looking pair of miniature hand cuffs hanging from it.

"Do you need relief James?"

At first I couldn't remember what she was referring to, and wasn't even
sure she was talking to me.  Then I saw the cheerleaders and remembered
I hadn't exercised my one privilege as a program student.

"Yes, I do."

"Do you need help?"

"Yes please."

"Class, any volunteers?"

To my disappointment, the cheerleaders were in their own world.  The last
girl dressed, Kimiko, was apparently being stripped by force.  I then
watched with surprise as another cheerleader stuffed her underwear up
her cunt....

I then noticed the pirate girl had her hand up in the air and was glaring
at me.

"Her" I said unsure.

The pirate girl lit up and ran over.  Strutting like a cat fresh from
the hunt.  She came over and introduced herself.  Franklin, she said
her name was.  She immediately kneel-ed over, taking my aching cock in
her mouth.  At first she only rubbed her lips on the shaft of my cock.
Then she gently closed her teeth down and ran up and down the length.
Never thought that pearl necklace could mean not just what the girl gets,
but also what it feels like for the guy when she uses her teeth right.
Being my first blow-job, I could only rate it as a ten.  She then gently
palmed by sack, the cold sending my balls up into their home.  Then,
almost with out warning I came.  At first sucking it all in, after
she had drained the last drop she let it back out of her mouth slowly,
dripping down her chin like wine at a feast.  She smiled and stood up.
Gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.  Then ran off, back to her spot.

As I caught my breath I could only sit back down.  Ms. Jones eyed me
with concern for a second, then commenced class.

Class, as it turned out, was to be basic Yoga.  Now, if you've never
done Yoga, it is blatantly non-sexual.  More sensual and interesting than
anything else.  Although a downward dog sounds kinky, it is nothing more
than a rigid bend.  But, if it is a turn-on for you to see large group
of people contorting themselves into strange shapes and farting because
of it, all the more power to you.

I instead focused back on the cheerleaders.  All of them nude now, they
seemed to be more practicing gymnastics than cheer-leading.  The head
girl, was directing the others to form standing pyramids, with Kimiko
at the top.  Then Kimiko had to hold it while another girl not in the
pyramid played with her dangling underwear.  Kimiko however, who squeal
and fall off.  Only to have to try again until she could keep it up.

Mrs. Jones was now showing everyone forward bends.  Blessedly, they all
had their backsides to me while they practiced.  It took me a second to
realize why certain sets of legs were hairy, but once I understood it they
were easy to ignore.  People typically assume that being nude often means
no tan-lines.  But, you can never really be rid of tan-lines.  Getting rid
of them just means long periods of time in strange positions that only a
yogi could admire, and all that gives you is sunburns in strange patterns.
Most of the girls I could see had tried hard, but were left with light
spots in strange places.  Most of them had not managed to tan under the
curve of their buts completely.  One, had not managed to tan the crack
of her ass, leaving this white streak in the middle of a dark body.
Yet another seems to have been attacked by someone with a tanning lamp.
Light and dark spots criss-crossing her body without pattern.

One of the girls, Elizabeth, started to fall over and squeaked
dramatically.  Scraping up her elbow and hands as she did it.

Ms. Jones dutifully blew the whistle so everyone could relax, then went
over to check on her.  Ms. Jones helped her up and led her over to me.

"You'll watch after her, right James?"

No problem, I still have the "FlowerPuff Girls" thermos I thought,
but all I could do was nod my head.

The girl gave me a begging smile, then sat down, looking at her bruises.

She hadn't been one of the girls I paid much attention to in class.
She had a nice body, but at a strangers distance I had never noticed her.
Her outfit was more interesting as she got closer.  She had on a full
body purple exercise suit, but any other category stopped there.  She had
site cut-outs on each hip, and one just above her ass.  Her "bra" was
actually a loose fitting mesh of stretch string, almost like a fish net
but with the joints sealed.  Her crotch was hooked, with loops going
around buttons.  The loops left a gap, under which you could see her
pussy lips.  She also had a row of these hooped buttons down each leg.
Without even thinking I reached out and started to undo a button.

"Careful!" She yelped.

"Sorry, I wasn't thinking..."

"That's OK, but those things are a nightmare to sew back on."  She said,
patting the button back into place.

"Oh?"

My eyes then focused in on the bra, resisting the temptation to touch.
Her browned butter nipples poking out from the dark purple twines.

"You are are obvious with what you are thinking, aren't you?" She smirked.

"Sorry, I'm not normally like this."

"Oh?" She replied, mimicking perfectly my earlier tone.

"So, what you got in that thermos there.  Not water is it?"

"No, a little better, want some?"

"Sure, why not.  Elizabeth." She chipped.

"What?  Oh, your name.  I'm James."

"So, James, where did you get this.  You don't look like the type to
keep a 'Flower Puff Girl' thermos."

I blushed, then said it was the cheerleaders.

We both looked over, seeing the cheerleaders practicing the the 'daisy
chain' formation they use while some other group is performing and they
had to rest.

"I wish I could be on the team."  Elizabeth said.

"Why not, you have the body?"

"Yes, everyone says that, although I don't know why.  I didn't get on
the team because of a personality conflict with the head girl."

"Personality conflict?" I asked and looked over.  They were spanking
Kimiko and another girl in a formation we use when we score big or
intercept a ball.  I had seen this before, this was the first time I'd
seen them all naked when they did it.  And, the first time I'd heard
Kimiko making rib-bit noises....

"Never mind, I can imagine" I said, looking back at Elizabeth.

"No, it's not what you think.  How can I put it...."

"Don't worry about it.  This is too serious a conversation for the first
time we meet."

'First time?  OK, that works.  So James, you seeing anyone?'  She said
with a frown.

She had caught me mid swallow, and I coughed up some of the apple whatever
it was...

"Seeing anyone?" I wheezed.

"No, never mind. Stupid question."

"No, that's great.  I'm not seeing anyone.  Have something in mind?"

"Sure, how about coffee at the rec after school?"

"Sounds great, can I touch up the coffee a little?"

"If you have any left!"  At which she grabbed the thermos.

"I can get some more", I said, thinking of Jamie.

We looked back at class as she took a drink.  The students were in their
attempts at the resting position.

Ms. Jones was bush rubbing the thighs of one girl, telling her to relax
and breath.  The girl could only gasp back.  Why isn't resting position
more restful?  Ms. Jones then walked from student to student.  A light
pat here.  A word of encouragement there.  I swear, it even looked like
she adjusted one guys jock strap, almost tumbling him over from surprise
in the process.

The cheerleaders came over, a gaggle of giggles and insults.  Kimiko came
over and got the thermos.

"Not much left, is there James boy?"

I could only smile.

"Are you OK Kimiko, it looked like they were being rough on you?"

"I'm fine, but I'm a little sore.  See what the did to me?  They aren't
supposed to do it so hard?"  Kimiko said, turning around and showing me
her red back side.

"But, Kimiko, spanking you is too fun" Another cheerleader chirped in.

Kimiko blushed more.

"James boy, could I have a favor?"

"Sure, what is it?"

"Please pull the underwear out of my ass, it feels funny when I tried."

She then turned back around and bent over, spreading her cheeks for
me.  I could only see a little bit of the waste-band hanging out now.
Not sure how I missed the underwear moving from her pussy to her ass.
Her light brown lips pinkish, her stretched anus matched.  As I pulled the
underwear from her ass, she made a noise I'm not sure how to describe.
After the underwear was out, her ass took a moment to tighten, leaving
me a moment to view her in all her glory.  She stood up and turned around.

"Thank you James Boy!"

I smiled and handed her the underwear.  She gave me a kiss and then smelt
the underwear briefly.  She ran off to-wards the trashcan to get rid of the
offending garment.  After that show, most of the cheerleaders ran into
the womens locker-room.  Only Kimiko and the head cheerleader came back.
Kimiko looked at me and smiled as the head cheerleader wrapped her arms
around Kimiko, one arm going to Kimiko's pussy, the other to her tits.
Kimiko smiled and said:

"What to come to a party James Boy?  I'm throwing one at my house this
Friday.  Come dressed like that, and bring Elizabeth too if you like?"
Kimiko bubbled her words.  The head cheerleader only smiled over Kimiko's
shoulder as she massaged Kimiko's merchandise.

"Sure!"  I said, as Kimiko handed me a card with directions.

"Don't be late James Boy!"  She said, running away from the head
cheerleader.

Right then, class broke.  Elizabeth grabbed my cock, pulling me up as
she stood up.

"You're going to be trouble, you know that 'James Boy'?" Elizabeth asked.
She didn't wait for an answer as she pulled me off to the womens locker
room.

We went to her locker immediately, her never letting go of my cock.
She took off her shoes and turned around, facing her locker and with a
single flick of her fingers unhooked something at her throat.  Her body
suit then went mostly limp, falling off around her.  Where she said
non-chalantly:

"Strip me".

Pulling of one arm, she then switched hands and I pulled off the other
and followed the suit down her body.  She then stepped out of the suit
and took it up with her spare hand, putting it in her locker.  Then I
was led off to the shower without ceremony.  She first stopped by the
toilet, sitting down in front of me to relieve herself.

"It's always better going to the bathroom naked, isn't it?"  Thinking
about it, I realized I never paid attention.  Wiping herself off, she
stood up and gave me my chance.  Having someone direct your stream
has to be one of the strangest experiences a man can go through.
Completely flaccid, I didn't have a problem starting (Thank you
alcohol!).  She missed the bowl at first, but quickly figured it out.
After I pissed away an eternity, she wiped of the lid and flushed.
She looked at me and beamed:

"That was fun!" I'm glad she enjoyed it too.

"You look better than you did last night" She said.

"What do you mean?"

"You really are dense, aren't you James-Boy."

"No, just drunk" I said.

"I was the one who sat with you on the lawn until you passed out."

"That was you?"

"Yes sir!  You are cute when you are asleep, you know that right?"

I could only blush.

Walking me to the shower.  She immediately started cleaning me off with
her one hand.

"So, are you going to help?" She asked, I realized I hadn't started
on her yet.  I quickly grabbed some soap and started to rub her down.
Touching her chest, it was easy to figure out what would be soft and what
would be firm.  As she turned around, ,it was not so easy.  Firm in some
spots, soft in others, she was "comfy" all over.

"You have some incredible muscles" I said.

"Thanks, that's from dancing".

"You dance?"

"Sure, like a machine.  It's a habit."

"Oh?", I could only respond, rubbing down her ass.

"Now turn around, it's my turn."

We turned counter-clockwise so she wouldn't lose my cock with her
left hand.  She quickly started to rub me down with her right hand.
Not neglecting a spot, she got me all over.  Not in a rough way, just
one I can't explain.  After she was done we rinse off and turned off
the water.  Walking out to the changing room.  As we toweled off she
finally let go.  She put on what looked to be a hand made knit sweater
and a cotton skirt.  Pulling up her thick looking thong last, and slipping
into a different pair of shoes.  She smiled and gave me a full body hug,
sticking her tongue deep in my mouth, she pulled back and smiled.

"It's been fun James.  See you at 2:45 by the rec".

"OK!"  And she then ran off.

As I stood there in a blur, I went over and grabbed my shoes from the
coaches office and put them on.  As I did, I was able to watch the
cheerleaders leave the room, me unnoticed.  Most of them were in pretty
standard blue jeans and t-shirts.  Only Kimiko was dressed differently.
She had on a tight halter top with a playboy bunny logo.  The loose skirt
was black, balancing off the T-Shirt.  I stood for a moment wondering
if she had other underwear.  Then, I walked to class, leaving the
room behind.

Wandering around school, like in a bad dream, I initially forgot where
I was going.  Had to answer two "reasonable requests".  One from a girl
who seemed to be only interested in feeling my cock.

"Wow, it's soft.  Normally guys are hard when I do this?  Why aren't
you hard?"

"Guys aren't always hard you know."

"Oh, OK.  Thanks!  This was neat." Then she ran off.

The other request was from a guy who wanted me to feel him, thankfully
I could and did tell him to fuck off.  I'm just not interested in going
that way.

As I stumbled into science class, the room was dark, only making the
process more embarrassing.  It turned out we were watching a video called
"Global Warming and it's consequences".  This was a new video, you could
tell with all of the naked people in it.  It seems the environmentalists
realized that students pay more attention if there are naked people
involved.  That, today, didn't make much difference.  Without even
thinking of it, I fell asleep.

I was waken abruptly by bright lights.

"James!  Wake up." The teacher yelled, not needing to make noise to
accomplish what he wanted.

"What's wrong?  A movie isn't an excuse to sleep.  You are expected to
watch these things."

"I don't feel to well."  I said.  Someone in the back of the room giggled.

"OK, go see the nurse then."  He said, handing me a note.

As I walked out of the class, more people giggled when I bumped into
a chair.

After the door closed behind me, I was once again alone in these
strange hallways.  I wandered for a bit, looking at the other posters.
The drama club was hosting a play, the Secret Sex Lives of Romeo and
Juliet.  That version was now more popular than the original, apparently.
There was another sign proclaiming that all students must be vaccinated
regularly, featuring a naked girl bending over a table, being "vaccinated"
by a doctor.  Yet another poster was for a fund raiser for the library,
for buying 'acid free guaranteed not to paper cut' books.  Yet another
sign declared a protest in favor of naked students being made to carry
towels for when the sit down, featuring a desk with giant, smiling,
football sized germs on it.  What germs are still out there, I thought?
But, I appreciated the concern.

By chance, I found the nurses office and walked in.  She was finishing
up with a student who needed extra relief.  After she was done, he walked
off smiling and she looked at me briefly.

"Just a second!"  She said, stripping off her scrubs and throwing them
in an over flowing basket.

"Those used to be so expensive, until I talked the home-ec department
into making/caring of them for me."  She said, now clad only in a pair
of thick panties.  A bump was in her crotch, it looked like something
was stuck in her pussy.

"What are you looking at?", she said amicably, looking down.  "Oh that,
I keep a small vibrator in at all times.  Helps me pass the time." She
said, with a big smile.  Here, let me show you.  She then bent over and
pulled her panties aside.  I could see the white vibrator with a nob
with numbers on it, sticking out of her moist pussy.

"Could you turn it down one notch?"  She said, implying her vibrator.

Reaching out, it took me a second to figure out how.  My first attempt
pushed it further in.  I ended up needing to pull it out a bit to do it.
Getting covered in her juices in the process.

"There you go, I think."

"Thanks" She said, putting her underwear back into place and taking
a seat.

"So, what can I do for you?"

"I don't feel to well."

"I can see that", she said.

"Most guys would have been hard just at the sight of me undressing?
You're not gay are you?"

"No ma'am."

"Oh I see", she got close smelling my breath.

"Boy, do you smell.  You're not drunk are you?"

"No ma'am."

"Well, it doesn't matter.  Here, take this cough medication".

She gave me a thick brown liquid which went down fast.  It might have
had more alcohol in it, but I'm not sure.

"OK dear, go to lunch a little early and get some food in your stomach.
That should be all you need."  And with that, she sent me out of the room.
I think I heard a switch click and the buzzing sound grow louder as I
walked away.

The cafeteria is the newest building in the school.  Through some strange
circumstances it burned down one night a few years ago.  The fire marshal
doesn't know how it happened, although there is an unofficial story.
Has something to do with a rival schools chemistry club, not that anyone
could believe it.

As I walked in the smell of the kitchen hit me.  Nothing quite like it :)

Since I was the first person there, not everything was ready.  I was still
able to fill up.  My cost account was linked to my thumb print thankfully,
so I didn't have to worry about carrying money.  The cafeteria ladies
eyed me suspiciously, but gave me everything I asked for.  I then went
and found my normal seat.  After I was about halfway finished the room
started to fill up.  The first person I recognized was Jamie, I jumped out
of my seat and yelled when I saw him, only to fall over and hit the floor.

"You OK man?" He said laughing.

"Yeah, just peachy.  What did you give me?"

"Like I said, Everclear."

"You don't have something to wake me up, do you?"

"Sure, got everything.  Take this one."

"What is it?"

"It's an energy drink." He said.

"OK, give it here!  Got another?"  I said, grabbing it from his hand,
ripped it open and chugged it down.

"I don't know man, they kind of pack a punch."

"Give me one."

"OK, here you go."

I drank another down and signed.  I hope these help....

"Heard you sat out PE?"  He asked, trying to strike up conversation.

"Yeah, could barely stand".

"I bet", he smirked, just before he bit into a pizza slice.  I never
ate the pizza, you never know what was in it these days.

"Yeah, it was fun though.  Got to watch the cheerleaders practice.
Made a new friend."

"Really?"  He said, not even listing.

"Sure, have any more of that Everclear?"

"Yeah, why would you want it?  You look OK to me."  He said. The magic
word had gotten his attention.

"I'll need to later, give it to me."

"OK, just be careful.  They use that shit as rocket fuel."

"Yeah right", I said.  Putting the bottle in my bag.

"We ate quietly after that.  I was so full I couldn't finish my food.
Starting to feel better already I got up with my bag and my tray, not
even saying goodbye.

As I walked over to the dish nook, I realized everyone was staring at me
laughing.  Not understanding what was going on, I saw myself in a mirror.
I was covered from chin to crotch in sauce.

After I cleared the dishes, I realized I could ask the dish lady to take
care of me.

"Excuse me" I asked.

"What?" She said, not even caring about my appearance.

"Could you spray me off please?"

"What do you mean?"

"With the dish hose.  Spray me off."  I said, pointing to the tool in
her hand.

"You sure, it's hot?"

"Just do it please."

"OK" She mewled.

Never having had to clean off a student before, she enjoyed her chance.
Spraying me from neck to thigh as I turned around.  A couple of girls
behind me got sprayed, screaming at her so she stopped.

"Sorry girls, I asked her to do it.  Thank you ma'am."  I said and
walked off.

"No problem son, any time."  After saying that, she went off to work
again, not wanting to listen to the girls complain.  I was going to have
to ask for showers to be installed in here, after this.  Think about it,
a meal and a shower?

I then walked into the mens room to dry off.  A teacher inside almost
got onto me for not using the womens room, but seeing my condition he bit
his tongue and walked off.  Those damn electric hand dryers are annoying
enough for hands, but have you ever tried to use one for your entire body?

As I was walking to math class I was feeling top of the world.  Not caring
about my drunken state or my nudity, I walked to class quickly.

I laughed when I remembered one thing I had heard in health class.
What do you get when you give a drunk a shower, a meal, a nap, and some
caffeine?  A clean, wide awake, well rested drunk.  A happy drunk too.

As I walked into a girls room to relieve myself, I heard the cheerleaders
in the back laughing.  It took me a while to figure out what was going on.
They were lined up in a row in the middle of the room with their pants
down/skirts up peeing into cups.  After they were done they compared
cups and Kimiko moaned complaining she was always loosing.  They were
playing to see who could piss the most/least.  Whoever pissed the most
could make the one who pissed the least do anything.  Kimiko having
lost, looked at the winner and pouted.  Kimiko was made to drink four
shots of whatever liquor they had, and she had to wear a special pair
of panties.  The captain of the squad had a butterfly in her bag, sewn
into a pair of panties.  She said she kept them for competitions when
there was nothing to do between sets.  After the butterfly was firmly in
place between Kimiko's legs they turned it on.  Her moan was immediate.
They all laughed and started to leave.  One said "Don't worry, it'll
only keep going for a few hours..."

As they left Kimiko gave me a wink as she adjusted her underwear.  Then,
she simply walked out.  After I remembered to relieve myself, I 'relieved'
my self and went back to class.

Once I finally got to class, I took my seat.  Looking around me no one
was paying attention to me.  Who cared about a naked student, these days?

As the teacher got in, I started to remember my homework from the
night before.  Something about the proof behind the quadratic equation.
After the teacher asked if anyone wanted relief, I declined.  Then she
got to work.

Government was uninteresting.  Since they banned lawyers from running for
office, things started to make sense again.  Who wants a government that
makes sense?  How could lawyers refute their own existence?  It reeks
of cover-up, good thing I had Everclear!

I barely made it to art class, I was crashing hard.  After I sat down,
I feel asleep immediately.

Had a strange dream, if the day wasn't bad enough.  I was on a pirate
ship, tied to the mast.  Kimiko and Pirate Girl were out front.
Kimiko was bent over the side of the ship, and pirate girl was fucking
her up the ass with a dildo."

"You like that don't you?"  Pirate girl said, "look at me"

"What do you mean, bitch, untie me."

They both laughed.

"You mean you don't like me fucking my first mate up the ass with
your cock?"

Surprised, I looked down, only to see I had no dick.  Only a void was
where my dick had once been.

I looked up and all of a sudden I could feel Kimiko's ass around my dick,
stroking in and out.  They had cut off my dick and were fucking each
other with it!

"Give it back!"

"No, it's my booty" Pirate girl said.

"Your Booty is in my booty, James Boy.  Your Booty is in my
BOOOTY!" Kimiko laughed.

Pirate girl stroked faster and faster until I came.  All of a sudden I
could get free and ran after them.  Pirate girl ran one way on the deck
of the ship, Kimiko ran the other with my dick still in her ass.  I chased
after Kimiko, only to feel my cock fall out of her ass and hit the cold deck
with a splat.  She grabbed it, smelled it, and said "I don't want this",
throwing it to Pirate Girl.  I ran back and forth chasing them as they
threw my dick back and forth.  Finally I gave up and grabbed Kimiko,
throwing her over my shoulder then ran after Pirate Girl.  In surprise
she accidentally threw my dick overboard.  Screaming, I jumped in after
it with Kimiko, waking with a start as I hit the water.

I stood up and yelled, with a hard-on to boot....  Only to see the art teacher
sitting at her desk.

"We're finished now, James, you can go home."

"Home?"

"Yeah, class is over.  Go home.  Thanks for being so patient, it meant
a lot to Sammy."

"Sammy?"  I thought for a second, then checked my watch and ran out
the front.

Not wanting to think about having missed a class, (which one?) I walked
off to the rec center to meet Elizabeth.

I found her waiting out front.  She smiled and gave me a hug.  She then
acted surprised and looked at my back.

"Wow, that's incredible."

"What?" I said, surprised.

"Looks like Samantha got you."

Seeing the surprised look in my eyes...

"Samantha Franklin the Swashbuckler?"

"Pirate Girl!"

"Yeah, thats her.  Why did you let her do that?"

"Do what?"

"Never mind, lemme get a picture of this."

She had me turn around and took a picture of my back with her phone and
showed it to me."

When I looked, I could only laugh. While I was asleep in art class,
Samantha had painted a pirate flag on my back.  Complete with a set of
crossed cocks on the bottom, and a skull with a long tongue and tits
for eyes.

"You don't remember her doing that?"

"No, I fell asleep in art class..."

"Never, mind.  Let's get some coffee in you.  I don't want to go to the
REC after all, let's go to Cafe Brazil instead."

"OK" With that she put a cloth behind my back to protect the seat,
and we jumped in her car.

The drive was uneventful.  The "High Sixty-Nine" intersection was in
progress.  Quite an impressive mess.

We pulled into the Cafe Brazil off of University Drive, only to be
greeted by an olive skinned girl clad only in a small carnival head dress.

"Hookah or non-hookah?" She asked.

"Non-hookah please.", Elizabeth said.

Restaurants in Dallas had gotten strange since the banned smoking,
but legalized hookah's for some reason, but I didn't want anything more
clouding my system.

"So, how are we going to get back at Samantha?"  Elizabeth asked,
after we sat down.

"I don't know" I said, "you know her?"

"Yeah, you could say that.  She's my cousin."

"Oh.  Are all of the people in your family that crazy?"

"They're not crazy, just eccentric."

"OK?" I asked.

"Don't ask.  I think I know a way.  You see, she's afraid of water."

"Pirate girl is afraid of water?"

"Yeah, don't ask.  It's a long story."

"I'll tell you what to do tomorrow.  Just let me think about it."

"OK."  I replied

The food was good but I was still full from lunch.  She got a call on
her phone thingy so I didn't have to talk much.  In the end she turned
off the thing.

"Let's start over, I'm Elizabeth", she said smiling.

"James.  Nice to meet you."

"I like starting over like this.  What do you do James?"

"Nothing much, I have a part time job that sucks.  But a lot of awesome
friends."

"You?"

"About the same.  The good jobs are hard to get since most started making
girls work naked."  She quipped.  I didn't have the heart to tell her
there were never any good jobs.

The waitress came over with a concerned look in her face.  And leaned
over to whisper in my ear, her nipples rubbing up against my arm.

"What are you putting in your drinks?  If you aren't careful my manager
will get pissed!"  She said in an exotic accent that wasn't Brazilian
and wasn't Texan either.

"Want some?  It's Everclear, you don't need much."

"Really?  Sure!  Put some in this water glass."

She handed me a empty glass which I put a generous amount in then she
walked off with a smile and a swish of her ass.

Elizabeth asked if I was normally this way.

"What way?"  I asked.

"Never mind."

And we enjoyed the rest of our food and our "coffee" for a few minutes.

A few minutes later Elizabeth's eyes lit up and she suppressed a giggle.

"Look at that", she said while kicking me in the shin.

I turned around and looked and all of the naked, olive skinned waitresses
were taking sips from a to-go cup.  The first one, our waitress, was
already developing a full body blush.

Elizabeth then threw some money on the table and got up, saying we need
to leave before this gets bad.

The waitresses laughing all cheered and waved us goodbye.  Ours came up
and gave me a hug and a kiss.

"Thanks sweetheart, you made our day.  Come again."  She said, letting
me go.

Anyone who hasn't gotten a drunken kiss from their waitress doesn't know
what they are missing.

The ride home was quiet.  I asked Elizabeth why she wanted to leave, and
she only said that Cafe Brazil goes downhill fast if you aren't careful.
I left it alone and had a quiet few minutes for the first time today.

As we drove along the street, I noticed there were several sign wavers.  Since
stores could only put up so many signs, they would hire people to hold up
signs in the street.  They always where dressed in strange outfits.  Sometimes
the uniform for the store, sometimes a great big chicken outfit, othertimes a
rubber cow outfit, I wondered why there where none naked.

She dropped me off with a promise to see me tomorrow and a deep kiss.

I stumbled into the house and crashed on the couch, not even thinking.
And thankfully, my sleep was equally dreamless.

Was woken up by he smell of more food later that evening.

I went got up out of the couch and went into the kitchen.  I felt OK
but famished.  I didn't dress and didn't realize I was undressed until
I got a look from my parents.

"Enjoy your day?" My mom said with a smile.

"Yeah, whatever" I replied and plopped down at the table.

"It's been a long time since I found you naked and asleep in the living
room...", she said and then went back to finishing dinner.

My mom was wearing a t-shirt and shorts.  My dad was wearing his dress
shirt and slacks from work.  Dinner was some sort of stew mom had started
this morning in the crock pot.  Didn't taste that interesting but it
felt great.  Real soul food.

My mom and dad did the normal small talk, I remained safely anonymous.
Then, they turned to me and started talking.

"You do realize son, we could see you from our yard last night?"  My dad
said, glaring at me over the stew.

"Then, why did you do that do me?  Why did you let me do that?"

"Because you had to learn a lesson, son.  Better to learn it, waking up
in the cold than to learn it waking up in the hospital."

My still sullen mind almost mentioned the nurses office....

"Do you know why we are mad at you?" He asked in that emotionless voice
of his.

"I can only begin to imagine." I replied.

"Please start" he said and gesturing with his hand to sit down.

I slowly listed off everything I had heard of the evening before.
The sipping and boasting.  Waking up in the mud (What was that mud from?).
Being late for school.  Not calling, everything I could imagine.  But,
everything I listed only earned a shake from his head.

"Dad, I don't understand.  Why aren't you mad about those things?"

"Because, those are punishments in themselves.  We don't need to punish
you for those things."

"Then why did you punish me today?"

"Son, since you don't get it and still smell drunk I'll tell you".

"What?"

"You forgot to take out the trash before you went to the party!"
Dad said with a heartful belly laugh.

It was going to be a long week.

End of Monday.

===== End for Now =====

Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this written work is copyrighted
with all rights reserved by the author unless explicitly indicated. For
questions or concerns, email planonudist@yahoo.com.  Copyright 2005
