Carree Loves Billy - The Awakening

The following story contains ADULT SEXUAL SITUATIONS. Do not read 
any further if you do not wish to read material of this type. YOU 
HAVE BEEN WARNED.
I lost my William less than a year ago. He was a writer who, one 
day, planned to use my diary's, which I kept through our young 
courtship and beyond, as a basis for a true erotic story. William 
and I enjoyed reading erotic stories of this type. He planned to 
use the pen name Billy Hand. As a means of therapy for dealing 
with his loss, I have taken up the project. Though not as 
accomplished as William as a writer, I too, write professionally 
for travel and vacation guides. I hope you enjoy our story as 
much as I did living it. Whether you believe our story or not, 
trust me when I say it has been embellished little.
I will always truly love the character you will know as William 
Wilson.

The story begins.
Billy was the only boy I ever thought about. From the time I was 
14 he was my boyfriend. We went to St Pius X together from the 
eighth grade until we graduated from High School. From that time 
until he got his drivers license we were really "pretend" boy and 
girl friend because, beyond an occasional smooch here and there, 
after a movie or a chaperoned school dance, we were rarely alone 
together. His Mom and Dad, as well as mine, made sure of that. 
What I knew of sex would rattle in a thimble and if Billy had an 
interest or knowledge of it, he never let on. 
Once we turned 16, (our birthdays were on successive days) our 
parents lost a little of the control they had over us as Billy 
got his license. He was allowed to drive the family car, and 
eventually his own, to work, and, as long as I lived along the 
way, he was allowed to stop and see me. I finally talked my Mom 
into letting us go for little drives on hot summer nights to cool 
off. 
"Tell Billy not to let his parents know I let you get away 
alone", she would say and smile. 

They all had little to worry about because when we did park, we 
mostly talked. If Billy had any pent up sexual energy, he 
released it by talking. By that summers end we had gotten into 
each other's head fully and totally about every aspects of life 
and what we expected of it, except for sex. I began to think I 
was obsessed with Billy's seemed ignorance of the subject.
Towards the end of that summer our goodnight kisses began to have 
a tenor that bordered on necking. I was hoping he and I were both 
waking up to new horizons.

It wasn't that I wanted to HAVE sex, at least intercourse, but I 
was curious about it. I was not a big masturbator, but I knew 
what felt good when I showered and washed. My first real session 
occurred after a Show and Tell at a slumber party at my 
girlfriend Kim's house. There were 4 of us sleeping over and we 
spun a bottle and HAD to tell the truth about the subject on the 
card we picked, after the bottle landed on us. Megan got 
"describe the last sex you had, when you weren't alone". She 
flushed a beet red, so we all knew she had something to say. 

She had dated Jim Beachamp, a senior, since he asked her to the 
Winter Snowball in December. After 8 months of a sophomore dating 
a senior, something had to be going on. Megan made us all swear 
never to whisper a word, and she went into detail of a session at 
Jim's parent's camp. 
A trip to a Mets game in New York actually was a trip to the camp 
in the Catskills. She described every touch and feel and told us 
what a wonder a penis was to hold in your hand. I don't know if 
her story was all true, but she made me wet. It was the first 
time I ever really got juicy and wanted to touch myself to some 
finish. 
When we finally retired that night I volunteered to put my 
sleeping bag on the parlor sofa instead of in the bedroom. (a 
lack of space) I was alone and laid on my stomach with both hands 
between my legs. I had what I thought then was a pretty good 
orgasm, as I bit down on the sleeping bag to muffle my noises. 
Another night a few weeks later I repeated the same scenario as I 
replayed Megan's words in my head. I was beginning to wonder if 
and when Billy would make a move on me.

Was I pretty enough? Did Billy find me attractive? Were we too 
much pals to become anything more? I had lots of self-doubts 
about my looks and my body. That summer, before my junior year I 
went bathing suit shopping and tried on some bikinis. My Mom 
scared the crap out of me by just walking in my dressing stall, 
checking on me. 

She saw me in the bikini and said, " With your body, you won't 
wear that! Your father would throw a sheet over you and douse you 
in Holy Water." 

I didn't think I looked THAT good, but Mom said that attracting a 
crowd would not be a problem. Although I was never obsessed with 
my body, I figured my measurements to be 34c-22-34. That sounded 
pretty good to me, but when I looked in the mirror, I was not 
impressed. 
If Billy was impressed, he never showed it. He never ever tried 
to even give me a squeeze or a feel. But, he sure liked kissing 
me. He would kiss me often in public, and when we said goodnight, 
it was always a long tongue kiss, but never anything more. 

I decided I had to be the aggressor.  So, one night, as we said 
goodnight at the end of my drive (we never kissed in front of the 
house), I put my hands around his head and fell back onto the 
seat making him press his body to me. I liked it. HE liked it. 
His tongue way down my throat, he ground his chest into mine. I 
thought he was going to try and feel me, or do SOMETHING, but 
after about 3 or 4 minutes, he sat up and said we better get 
going before someone got suspicious. 

On subsequent nights we replayed the same scenario, but he was 
the one who pushed me back onto the seat these times. Finally in 
our third night of this I feigned a leg cramp and got him to let 
me shift my legs, and he, in turn, his. 
We returned to kissing and tongue battles, but now I felt his 
erection against me. Little by little, without him really trying 
or thinking it, he began to grind me. 
I thought, "Oh boy, here we go, he'll try something and I can set 
some ground rules". But, he just necked and ground and pawed at 
my back and shoulders. 
How could he not feel my breasts as I pushed my hard nipples and 
chest against him? 
But, after a while he would call time and finish the trip up the 
drive to drop me off. Three nights in a row of this was having 
its affect on me. In 17 years of Catholic upbringing I had 
masturbated twice, now I had done the deed these 3 nights in a 
row, and it was getting better every time.

If I was getting hot pants and the need for release, what was 
Billy doing?

I could only figure that he respected me too much or was afraid 
of my reaction to try anything else. I was vexed at this notion 
because he was the only boy I was ever interested in and anyone 
at school knew it was Billy and Carree: couple. 
If he touched me inappropriately I was not about to tell him to 
let me out of the car and never speak to me again. 
We just knew each other too well for that. But, it was becoming 
apparent that if anything else was going to happen, I was to be 
the initiator. 

Sunday morning the public library was closed, but the 
University's was open. I asked my Dad for a ride to their library 
saying I had a school project due at the end of the spring 
recess. Right after church I changed and Dad brought me there 
saying he would give me a few hours before family Sunday dinner. 
Once at the library my mission was to find books on sexuality 
with hopes of answering the questions I did not want to ask 
anyone else. 
When I went to the look-up to find books on the subject, there 
were two books that answered all my questions, "The Joy of Sex", 
and "Sexual Revolution; a woman's perspective". They were not 
exactly textbooks, but they answered what I wondered, frankly and 
to the point. From my reading I discovered that,

Interest in sex is normal.

Masturbation was normal, and healthy. 

Good sex can be had without intercourse.

No sex is "dirty" if both agree to it.

Billy's aversion to even breaching the subject was a fear factor 
he got from his parents.

Billy probably talked openly and spoke of his wishes or conquests 
with his friends.

Billy definitely masturbated each night when he got home from our 
sessions.

The fact he would not make the first move was another parental 
stigma.

When I had "wet pants", he was probably "leaking" too. 

By the time I was ready to leave I was definitely awakened on 
many subjects of sex, and wondered why I hadn't spoken more 
frankly about them with my girlfriends. 
The night Megan had to describe her sex session with Jim to us at 
our slumber party, I bet she and my other 2 friends whispered 
details after I left the room that night to take the parlor sofa. 

My "virgin Mary" reputation may have made them uncomfortable 
talking in front of me. (I was the only one who worried about 
Sunday church that night). I heard them giggling, but with both 
hands on my vagina and groaning into my sleeping bag, I really 
didn't care or wonder what the subject was then.

In my mind, I released Billy from blame for the fact I was going 
home horny, wet, and frustrated from our recent dates. It was 
apparent I was going to have to take the bull by the horns on the 
sexual front of our relationship. Whoops, didn't mean that pun, 
but . . . 

Going back to school on Monday, I looked at every girl and 
wondered what sex experience they had. 
Some, I said, "No Way", and others "probably every night". (why 
do some girls make themselves look so cheap?) But one thing I did 
see. I was better endowed and developed than most of the girls in 
school. Lots had larger breasts, but not the good shape mine had. 
Some had shapelier butts, but were flat chested. Of course, by 
the end of the day I wondered if I was a lesbian. God, I am sooo 
paranoid. 
But, I was convinced that, unless Billy was gay, (No - not more 
paranoia!), he had to want me, and thought about it often. I was 
just going to have to make the first move and speak frankly to 
make sure the door was open wide to honest talk that would not be 
embarrassing.

Billy brought me home from school as usual on Monday, but had to 
get right home to change for work. We spoke little on the way 
making small talk about lunch and homework. I leaned over to kiss 
him goodbye, a nice deep kiss, not one we usually shared at this 
hurried moment, and I followed it with 3 more pecks on his cheek 
and forehead. 
I smiled and scooted over, opened the door, got half way out and 
turned back and caught him square in the eyes with a question.

" You DO know how much I care for you, right?", I said.  

Stunned at first, he answered, " Yes, I guess so . . . well of 
course I do!". 

"You think I'm pretty, right?", I countered. 

" Are you kidding me? You're the most beautiful girl in the 
school, and everyone knows it. I'm proud to walk down the street 
with you". 

I was stunned; Billy actually said something flattering with sort 
of sexual overtones (for him). Trying to be cool, I closed the 
door and looked through the window.

"That's sweet of you to say, what took you so long say it? Girls 
like hearing things like that, ya know", I said teasingly. 

With that, I turned and walked up the walk and was surprised he 
didn't speed off as normal. 
When I turned at the door before I walked into the house I looked 
back to find him watching me walk away and into the door. I 
mouthed a kiss as I went in the house. I watched his car roll 
down our long drive to the county road, before he finally sped 
away. 

I wonder what he was thinking as he coasted down the drive?

I didn't see Billy besides at school the rest of the week. We 
both had track practice the rest of the week and that took up our 
after school time. 
The girls' team was bussed over to the University track to run, 
while the boys used the school facilities. I was a second on 3 of 
the event teams; I was only there for the exercise, although I 
did actually compete once on a relay. 
Billy was more serious about it, but was not a star by any 
stretch. He wanted to play football, but having to work weekends 
to save for college made it impossible.
 
By Friday I was ready for a night out with Billy. There was a 
dance at school and firehouse block party in town. I told my 
parents we would go to the dance and meet them at the block 
party. That way after we showed, we could sneak off together. 
My mind raced as to what Billy and I might do for intimacy alone. 
I was pretty sure I had him interested, or at least aware that I 
was interested. 
My world crashed when Billy called and said that his uncle, the 
one he worked for, invited him to hunting camp for the weekend. 
Deer season had just opened and the testosterone must have been 
running with his family's men. They were all hunters and Billy 
wanted into that rite. 

Megan called me about 20 minutes later and said her Jimmy was 
going with them and wanted to know if I wanted to slumber with 
some of our friends after the dance. It was going to be 4 girls, 
all dateless, because their boyfriends were out hunting Bambi. We 
each felt jilted and we knew the boy's ears would be ringing.

The dance was fun, but there were way more girls than guys and we 
danced with each other. A couple of the more cloddy guys came 
over to ask for a slow dance. Each of our group of four decided 
to accept at least one invitation and hope the word got to our 
boyfriends. I danced with Mark Smith, a short, shy, kind of cute 
guy. We made small talk as we danced where he was quite outgoing. 
I told him he was a nice dancer and thanked him for asking. He 
was nice, but he wasn't Billy.


Megan's Dad picked us up after the dance and brought us all to 
her house. It was a big house where Megan had almost the whole 
second floor to herself. She had a huge bedroom and the other 
room was converted into a TV and study room for her, plus her own 
bathroom. We each took a turn getting changed into our sleepwear 
and settling in the TV room. 
Meg's Mom came up and said good night and reminded us to stay in 
the TV room side of the house so we didn't disturb she and Meg's 
dad, who slept underneath. With that, we closed the door to the 
TV room and took up spots on the floor, sofa and lounger. 

We were all quiet for about 10 seconds until Kim said "OK, Lets 
talk about sex!!", and we all laughed. 

Megan looked at me and said, " I know you have a church thing, 
but get into the girl talk, it will be fun".

"Meg", I said, " I don't know where this religious thing about me 
got started and why you guys have to whisper dirty jokes and 
stories around me, but I am really not the virgin Mary". 

"Don't get so upset, it's just a reputation you had in junior 
high when you wanted to be a nun", Megan defended.
 
"A nun?", I said. "Where did you ever hear that?"
 
"Well" Kim added, "that was the rumor for as long as I knew you".

" Not true, not true, not true", I chanted. "I go to church on 
Sunday with my parents, because they make me. That is as close as 
I am to a nun. You've seen me in the locker room, do I look like 
a nun?"
 
Megan, Kim, and Jennifer all looked at me, then at each other, 
and then Kim spoke up.

"Well duh, you have the most incredible body, you go out with 
Billy and he tells his friends you are frigid. He says you're 
saving it for God!"

I was stunned. "Well that little DICK, that son of a bitch", I 
said, surprising my self at my language. "I've all but had to 
tear my clothes off to get him to touch me. He's never even tried 
to feel me up".
 
"He tells another different story" said Jennifer, " He told Rob 
(Jenny's new boyfriend) that he got you to jerk him off and you 
put your finger in his cum and tasted it". 

I was mortified and embarrassed. I got up to go home. "Meg, tell 
your Dad I need a ride home, NOW". 

Megan came and put an arm around me to console me. 

"Look", she said. "All guys are assholes when it comes to this 
shit. They make up stories to tell their friends of their 
conquests. It's a guy thing. They all do it. Somehow they don't 
think it ever gets around. It goes with the territory. He told 
one person you were saving it for God, and another you were a 
cum-eater. 
He gets his stories mixed up. 
When Jimmy took me up to his Dads cabin in the Catskills, he told 
his friends that we spent 2 days there, making love, and we did 
every thing. The truth: We were there for about 2 hours, with 
about 15 minutes of the inny-outty, just like I told you guys. 
Don't let this ruin your night, our night. We will have fun, just 
us girls. We're gonna talk about sex and find out what's going on 
in each other's heads. I even have a pornie movie we can watch 
later. These nights are special. I have 2 sisters and they both 
told me to do this as often as we could. Sex and boys and life 
are all so confusing. Here we have each other to cry, laugh and 
wonder with".
 
Wiping tears, I said, "Wow, you're the sister I never had".
 
Jenny and Kim came over and we had a group hug.
 
"We're all sisters", Kim said. "Now lets get to the dirty talk".

That broke the ice and we all laughed. I felt a lot better 
knowing I was invited to this intimate party because they all 
liked and cared for me and each other.
 
"Yeah", I said. "Fuck the boys.wow, I do believe that's the first 
time I ever said that word out loud". 

We all laughed again. 

Megan stood up and said, "Lets raid the kitchen and get back up 
here and make the guys ears really ring. Maybe we can even make 
up a few stories about them". 
 
" Yeah", Jenny added, "GAY stories!!!"
 
We all laughed like hell as we went down the stairs to the 
kitchen.

Armed with soda, chips, pretzels, and some frozen things that 
tasted like pizza after you nuked them, we all went back up 
stairs and took our spots in front of the TV. Conan had just 
started and we all munched for a few minutes, apparently hungry 
with a need for a sugar/salt/carbo high. 

My mind drifted a bit and then said aloud, "I can't believe Billy 
said I did that".
 
Kim looked at me saying "What the jerking off, or the tasting".
 
"The TASTING", I emphasized. "The masturbating thing is OK, I 
guess". 

After a second or 2 of silence Megan spoke.
 "We'll all do it, not just the jerking off thing, the tasting 
thing, at least that what my sisters tell me. They say all women 
suck it; it's inevitable and natural and just a part of sex".
 
"My sister says the same thing", Kim added. "I was watching a 
movie with her and when Demi Moore went down on Michael Douglas I 
said Eeewww! She told me she would love to suck him, and so would 
I, someday."
 
I threw a pillow at her and told he she was a whore, and she said 
that oral sex was natural and fun and happened more often that 
regular sex. 
She also said that a guy licking you down there was the best 
orgasm you could have".
 
"Two votes for the same from my sisters too", Megan added. "they 
both said that I might think of it as disgusting, eventually 
giving and receiving it would be the most regular sex you can 
have, especially when a bed and a room aren't handy. My sister 
Judy says it's the best foreplay because it makes the guy harder 
and really lubes you up, but I can't picture myself . . ." 

There was a stone silence in the room as we all took in the 
sudden sex talk; just Conan and Marissa Tomei were heard in the 
background, but no one was paying attention.
 
"I walked in on my Mom doing my Dad", Megan shocked us by daying 
after a 10 second lull. 
"Right in the living room one night when I got home from a dance 
early. I was quiet coming in so I wouldn't wake anyone and I saw 
them in the light of the TV. I stepped back to the door and 
opened and shut it again letting it slam a little. I heard them 
shuffle and my mom said something a bout my being home early, and 
that she was looking for a contact lens on the floor. But, I saw 
her with her shirt pulled up and my dad's thing in her mouth. 
That was the reason I asked Judy about it".
 
I think we all tried to picture Meg's Mom and Dad in our minds 
"doing it" for a second when Jenny, who had been quiet for the 
whole exchange finally blurted out;

"I've done it, . . . really. Don't think of me as a slut. It 
really was quite natural and fun. Remember last summer when Rick 
(her old boyfriend - 3 years older) went to Denver U. orientation 
in Colorado, and I went to my sisters in New York? 
It was a scam. 
We really shacked up for a week in the City. 
My sister covered for me with my parents. Students who lived over 
1000 miles were not required to go to the orientation, but Rick 
used it as an excuse for us to go away alone. With him going into 
college and my just starting my junior year we figured it might 
be the only time we might have to be alone. Plus, with him so far 
away, I knew we wouldn't be together anymore. 
God, we did it 3 times a day . . .umm, not the blowjob thing, the 
screwing thing". 

Three sets of eyes trained in on Jenny.
 
"Wow, true confessions!!!!" Kim said, "Tell us more". 

Jenny sort of smiled and then got a little teary. 
"It seemed so right at the time", she said. "Giving it up to him. 
He taught me so much about sex. But, now I realize he used me. 
I only heard from him once after he left. The first time he came 
home this past Christmas, he didn't even call me. I finally 
called him and he said he heard I was dating someone else, and 
that he was so much older and his life changed. 
Being older didn't matter when he had me alone in a waterbed 
suite in New York. I felt so grown up at the time, but it was a 
lot of fun, then". 

Jenny started crying and we all hugged her and tried to comfort 
her. 

"Don't feel sorry for me. I thought I was King Shit, putting 
things over on my parents and my friends. I even let the bastard 
take pictures of me nude, and with his . . . his dick in my 
mouth. I was so fuckin' dumb", she spat.
 
Finally I was going to be the voice of reason and get the party 
going again. 

"Jenny, you can't change what happened", I said. "Take it as a 
lesson learned and use it to grow with. You have so much going 
for you right now, you have great marks in school and can go 
wherever you want to college, you have a nice boyfriend, and you 
have lots of friends. Everyone does things they regret in life, 
and at the time you were sure it was the right thing to do. Who 
could have talked you out of it".

"You're right," she said. "I thought I was quite the grown up, 
and you know what, I had fun, even though it hurts now".
 
Megan scooted over on the floor and put her arms around Jenny and 
said, "So, tell us, what's it like?" Should we be afraid?  Does 
the purple monster bite?"
  
We all chuckled, but really wanted an answer to her supposed 
joking questions.
 
"It's what your sisters said", she agreed as she looked at Megan 
and Kim. 
"It seems a little funny at first, but it feels so natural when 
you do it, you feel powerful and subservient at the same time. 
But any doubts about it are dashed once he puts his tongue in 
your . . .vagina, oh . . . PUSSY!! Why get medical? THAT is 
awesome".  

Kim looked at Jenny as if she were going to say something and she 
stopped herself, then started, then stopped. "Never mind", she 
said.
 
"Go ahead", Jen said. "Ask me, I know what you want to know". 

Kim half smiled, "OK, did he shoot it in your mouth? Oh God Jen, 
I'm sorry, it's none of my business."
 
Jennifer smiled, now somehow OK with her new stature as 
"experienced woman". 

"Yes, he did and he told me to just swallow without tasting, but 
you couldn't help but taste it. I was salty and a little sweet 
like, but had the consistency of egg white or unset Jell-O. It 
seems gross now, but at the time, and I suppose it makes a 
difference if you really care for the guy, it seems like a reward 
and you have something from him in your belly. If you aren't 
using it as foreplay for sex, and IT is going to be the sex, it 
seems like the thing to do at the time. Plus the swallowing 
motion of your mouth makes them go nuts afterwards. You know the 
supersensitive feeling, like when we, you know . . .diddle around 
down there".

Wow, a few minutes ago we were deciding if 90 seconds was too 
long for a pizza roll in the microwave, and now we were getting a 
review on the taste of sperm . . .well, . . . cum. It was quiet 
for a second. I suppose it was the assumed revelation that we 
all, "diddle around down there". That opened a whole new door if 
we wanted to talk about that, I guess.
 
But, I had one more question." Am I the only virgin here?"

"Well", Kim said, "since we know Megan and Jenny have both "done 
it", I guess you are asking me. I am still a virgin. I really 
fear getting pregnant. But, I have been so close, where I really 
wanted it and only common sense stopped me from doing it. As long 
as we are telling true confessions, Brad and I jerk each other 
off. He wants me to put it in my mouth, but I won't. My sisters 
both tell me not to do it until he's (Kim motions quote marks 
with her extended fingers) eaten my pie. God, they talk gross."
 
Megan reeled around on the floor and stared at me'
"So, kiddo, my friend Carree, the supposed and now denied Virgin 
Mary, but still an admitted virgin, who never wanted to be a nun, 
what have you and Billy done at the end of that long drive to 
your little house on the hill? Jimmy B and me have seen you guys 
parked there at least twice in the past weeks on his way to bring 
me home. 
I know all and see all".
 
"Well", I began a little sheepishly, "I wish I had something 
juicy to tell you guys but I don't. Billy just lays on me and 
necks. 
He's a great kisser, but I don't know what to do to get him to 
take a little initiative. I take and make all the first moves. I 
want to reach down and grab that hard thing he's pressing up 
against me, but shouldn't he make the first move? He's leaving me 
frustrated, and I figure he must, you know . . . do it - when he 
gets home. I don't want to have intercourse yet either, only for 
the fear of getting pregnant too. But, isn't it normal to get the 
warm and wetties and then want to do something about it? 
Ummm . . .Together?" 

Jenny looked at me and smiled "Wow, a guy who doesn't know what 
to do, where did you find him? It's just I don't know if its a 
good thing or bad.  Have you tried just saying 'hold me squeeze 
me' to lead him on a little?"

"I know it's stupid" I said, "But, I don't want him to think I'm 
experienced or anything, you know - cheating on him".

"JeeeSUS, don't worry about that, guys even like a girl whose 
whorey in private . . .a . . . so I've heard" Megan said. 
"My sister coaches me all the time, saying to be a little 
aggressive to let him know whose the sex boss. Like George on 
Seinfeld; 'you gotta have hand' in the relationship."
 
"Well,", I said " you guys gotta remember that I don't have 
sisters or an experienced partner. So I don't have a sounding 
board or a teacher. And this is the first time we ALL really 
opened up about sex. I mean, is it about sex or is it about love 
and caring for your partner, or are they both the same."

Jenny took my question to heart. "Sometimes a guy just wants to 
see 'how much he can get off you' before you stop him. But, when 
you have a relationship where you really care about the other 
person, it's wanting to make them happy. As well as satisfying 
your own urges, that's natural. But, if someone tapped him on the 
shoulder to cut in, like on a dance floor, you couldn't just 
continue. There is definitely a connection, a bond. Like when we 
went to New York and were alone on that waterbed, just touching 
him was electric. That was why I showed no fear or reluctance to 
have any kind of sex with him. We were two as one. Unfortunately, 
it ended up that he was using my love for him to satisfy his 
urges and make me a conquest. After it was over, well the thing 
that convinced me it was over, was how I realized and remembered 
how he manipulated me during the weeks leading up to our trip. We 
were not having serious sex, I was holding out. I was too stupid 
to realize I was being set up. But, the fact he was experienced 
made our love making all SEEM natural. He knew ways to get me 
fired up where I would be vulnerable. While I regret the way 
things happened, now that I know I didn't get pregnant or get a 
disease or anything, the experience will shape all my 
relationships. To tell you that I didn't enjoy the sex would be a 
lie. It was incredible. But, I couldn't just do it with anyone. A 
girl who gets all hot and bothered and seeks out a partner for a 
night is shallow and looking for trouble. 
Any time you have a sexual relationship, remember you might be 
doing something that will put you with that person forever. I 
don't mean to sound like Dr. Laura, but I worried for a while 
about consequences. Once I knew he was gone from my life, I 
skipped a period. 
I called him at school to tell him I was late and he said he 
would call me back in a day or two to check on me. He never 
called and, like I said before, at Christmas I had to call HIM. 
I could have been 5 months pregnant and he didn't even care. So, 
having a partner who doesn't know what to do or is sheepish isn't 
all bad. 
Explain that you know what he does when he gets home from seeing 
you. He will deny it, but if you look him in the eye and tell him 
not to lie, because you are doing the same thing, he should open 
up. 
It's so stupid that everyone denies masturbating, especially 
guys, and we ALL do it. If you say you don't, you are lying."

Jenny's words were just sinking in when Megan's phone rang. 
"Oh, that's my phone, hardly anyone has this number, it must be 
Jimmy B at deer camp" She picked up the phone and instead of 
"hello", She said "You DO miss me". She blushed embarrassed, 
listened for second and said, "Oops , sorry Heid, I thought you 
were my boyfriend . . . (she listened again) Really! Let me ask" 
she said cupping the mouthpiece. 

"It's Heidi Stewart, she saw my lights and my mom told her about 
the slumber. She had a chaperones reception after the dance, and 
only one person showed. She's got a couple pizza's and she wants 
to know if we want them." 

We all looked at each other and said "Sure, why not?". 

Meg uncupped her hand and said "Sure Heid, but we're all in our 
PJ's waiting for Prince Charmings to whisk us away. Can I meet 
you at my door? Be quiet on the steps so my Dad doesn't think 
we're sneaking guys in, ha ha". 

Megan had stairs going up to her room from the outside, but it 
was really a fire escape of sorts. No handle or keyhole from the 
outside. In plain words, Meg couldn't sneak in at night.
Heidi Stewart was a 32-year-old divorc‚e who worked at St Pius. 
She ran the Alumni Association and was the Yearbook Advisor. 
Her snappy personality and clean-cut good looks made her popular 
with everyone who ever went to St Pius.  
When she was raising money to reduce tuition, she was always 
successful. I can't imagine I would ever mail them a check after 
I graduated, but I suppose everyone felt that way at one time.

Heidi was married to the basketball coach and Phys Ed instructor, 
Jerry Wayman. They were a beautiful couple. Heidi looked like a 
movie star and Jerry her leading man. Unfortunately Heidi caught 
Jerry screwing one of the girls at school. It ended Jerrys 
career, put him on probation for 10 years, and ended his marriage 
to Heidi. 
Megan and Heidi were more girlfriends than faculty/student. She 
had known Meg since she was a kid and Meg loved having a friend 
who was an adult, which she could trust here intimacies with, 
since her sisters moved out. In turn, Meg was mature enough to be 
able to listen to Heidi share girl/girl advice. She had been to 
parties with all of us at Megs before and just asked us to be 
cool at school and call her Ms Stewart, so she could be 
professional and all. She really was just an older version of any 
of us. 
She lived across the backyard from Meg and was really extended 
family to Meg Parkers family. She was another "big sister" to 
Meg. Heidi could have any guy she wanted, but chose to be 
cautious after her marriage broke up. I'm sure a lot of boys at 
school dreamed about her.

There was a drumming of fingernails on the metal door in the 
corner and Meg went to answer it.
 
"Hi Heidi, your party was dud, huh?",Meg said.
 
"Yes", Heidi bubbled. "We try to get together after dances for 
some socializing, but tonight there were 6 chaperones and 4 ended 
up being men and they probably don't have "wife clearance" to 
come to my house. 
So, just Mrs. Adams came over. She said she knew she and I were 
the only female chaperones and was wondering why I chose tonight 
have a get together. 
Well, DUH, why didn't she tell me instead of keeping it a secret? 
Then when she comes over all she does is ask questions about 
Jerry. I think she is frustrated and wonders if she has a chance 
with him. 
I should tell her that as long as she can lower her drawers, she 
has a chance with him. Oh, damn, I'm sorry, I'm just blabbing 
away and horning in on your slumber, . . . enjoy your pizza".
 
Meg laughed at Heidi's frenetic delivery, "For Gods sake, take a 
breath will you? How many cups of coffee did you have with Mrs. 
Adams? Come on in and stay a minute or two, the talk is just 
getting juicy". 

Right away I panicked a little. I didn't mind sharing intimate 
details with the girls, and as much as Heidi was cool, she was 
still "adult". Heidi realized the same thing right away. 

"No", she said, "your girl talk is for your ears only".

"But, can we ask you some questions. Guy questions? Without 
getting embarrassed? At least I have a couple" Megan said 
grabbing Heidi's elbow as she turned to leave. 

"Uh-Oh, this is one of THOSE parties. Comparing love notes, huh? 
What makes you think I would have the answers? My marriage went 
to hell", Heidi said. 
"I'll try to help, but don't put me on a spot. I don't need to be 
accused of putting ideas in your heads". 

"Well, we were talking about, a . . .um. . .alternative sex", 
Megan said. 

Heidi turned and said "Ok, I'm out of here", then stopped and 
chuckled. "Just kidding, let me share something with you that not 
everybody knows, and I would appreciate it staying in this room. 
You are 4 of the most levelheaded girls in school. Four girls I 
think I can call friends. You all know me outside the walls of St 
Pius and you know when I'm inside those walls I am a different 
person to you, OK? We can all trust each other, right?"

We all nodded and looked at her intently. 

"Jerry and I were in love in high school, right at St Pius. The 
perfect couple. From our sophomore year on, everyone knew we were 
going to get married. What people do not know is that I had an 
abortion in my junior year, and was pregnant again when I 
graduated. We had to get married. Jerry was a great guy then, but 
I would not have married him until after college, if not for 
being pregnant. By that time I might have found out what a 
cheater he was. He cheated on me all through my marriage. When I 
had the car accident and lost my baby I was devastated mentally 
and physically. I could never have children again and I accepted 
that as Gods punishment for getting pregnant twice and being so 
stupid. 
Ten years later I found out that Jerry, while seemingly 
supporting me, was also screwing one of the nurses at the 
hospital. One that tended to me for the 2 weeks I was in the 
hospital, he screwed for years! 
Once I was recuperated from the accident and we continued college 
we were only an hour away from each other during the week, and 
lived as husband and wife on weekends, breaks, and of course all 
summer, for 4 years. I thought I had a dream marriage. Supporting 
husband, who worked his tail off, full time, went to school, paid 
the rent, bought the food, paid our tuitions. We came here and 
bought that house (pointing across Megans yard) and both got jobs 
at St Pius using the educations we earned for ourselves. 
When he got caught screwing that girl and we went to trial for 
statutory, he fessed up to the whole thing because the prosecutor 
had 30 girls to bring into court and testify that he had affairs 
with them, some in school when they were underage. It was 
sickening. All of this could have been avoided by what you call 
"alternative sex". I wouldn't have found out Jerry was a jerk 
right away, but if I hadn't been pregnant and HAD to get married, 
my thinking would have changed and I may have looked at things in 
a different light". 

Heidi was choked up a little and we all got up to hug and comfort 
her.

I was the first to speak. "Wow, Heidi, that's quite a bit of 
advice that every girl should hear. Thanks.and I am really so 
sorry. . .I . . ." 

"Please" Heidi interjected, "Don't feel sorry for me. His 
cheating and philandering are things I had no control over. But, 
having sex like married people, in high school, was stupid. We 
did all that other stuff too and always had lots of 
opportunities, you know, being alone. 
Jerry's Mom was dead and his Dad worked lots of hours. Their 
house was always free for us. We were so beautiful, so smart. 
But, now I know we could have shared a lot of the same pleasures, 
same intimacies without risking pregnancy, by just not having 
regular intercourse. We thought we were grown up, we weren't. 
Feeling like you are in love and wanting to express it is only 
normal. 
Wanting, or I guess 'being horny' is normal too. You guys have to 
worry about disease more than I did then. Know your partner. 
Where you are lucky is that most of your possible boyfriends are 
inexperienced and have no shot of having HIV, but make sure you 
know them and their history. 
Alternative sex? Wow, you can have so much fun, so much pleasure, 
feel so much in love with hand sex, oral sex, sex toys, and even 
anal sex of you're adventurous, anything you can do that you both 
agree to. 
But, don't let that loaded penis inside your vagina. 15 minutes 
of pleasure can screw up your whole life. Some of you may have 
already done it and gotten away with it. Don't press your luck 
anymore."
 
"Oh God, I'm lecturing now, ruining your night. I just don't want 
to see any of you get hurt. Let me just add this . . .Love isn't 
thinking a guy has a cute ass, or him thinking you have a cute 
ass or big boobs. Make sure you, or your partner, isn't just like 
a dog, sniffin' buttholes and humpin' legs, as we used to say. 
Your body is sacred and you don't share it with just anyone to 
have a good time. 
You can get off at home, alone, if you have to get off. 
I've said way too much, and I can talk to any of you anytime if 
you have any questions. 
Just don't do it at school. We can have private girl talk if you 
feel comfortable asking me questions. OK?"

We all nodded and Heidi turned and was out the door in a flash. 
She was obviously uncomfortable about sharing so much of her own 
life and problems, but you could see she was concerned for us. 
She saw herself at about the same age, and no one was there for 
her. But, now there was a wet blanket to remove from us so we 
could enjoy the night. 

We all sat and tried to think of something to get the ball 
rolling.

Kim got up and went over to the pizza boxes and opened one. 

"Oh look", she said, "there's sausage, we can all start 
practicing now". 

We all laughed like hell at her joke and got up to get pizza too.
"If we're practicing with the sausage", Jenny said "I hope the 
boys are having anchovies on theirs". 

Again we all laughed when we got the "fish smell" joke, but I 
admit, it took me a second longer than the others. 

We wolfed down pizza for a few minutes and watched the end of 
Conan, and then some comics that came on next. Then we turned our 
circle more towards each other again.

Megan looked at us saying, "Anal sex, did she really say that?"

You won't believe this", Kim began, "But my one sister says she 
prefers anal to regular sex. My other sister says she tried it 
and would leave it, but it is very intimate, but there is lots of 
prep for it that changes the mood. It's not something you do on a 
date in the back of a car. I just cannot imagine even trying it".

"Rick wanted me to try it", Jenny cut in, "On our little 
honeymoon from hell in New York? I say that like I didn't enjoy 
that week with Rick. I really did, don't think that he raped me, 
or anything. Anyway, he tried . . . a . . .um . . .stuff . . . 
back there. It was morning and I hadn't . . .you know . . . went 
yet. 
It seemed pretty gross at the time".

"I think the 'Joy of Sex' says to use a light enema, like a 
Fleet, a couple of them to avoid messes, and lots and lots of 
lube", I added. "It makes it easier if you want to be that 
adventurous."
 
All conversation stopped, and all 3 girls looked at me. "You read 
up on anal sex?", Megan astoundedly asked .
 
"Well, . . .not on purpose", I said. "I was reading the 'Joy of 
Sex' and just came to that part. I wasn't exactly looking for 
pointers for my next date with Billy".

That got a laugh for my 3 friends who never heard me say 'poop' 
without apologizing. 

"Kim, your sister prefers it? I can't imagine that. What's wrong 
with her?", Jenny asked.

"Hey, I'm just telling you what she said. She said it wasn't 
something you did 4 times a week, but that when it happened it 
was special and real intimate." Kim added. 
"I had asked her about it when that internet thing went around 
about high schoolers having more sex and less pregnancy. They say 
that's because of anal sex, more kids doing it".

"Oh, that was just one of those urban legends", Megan chided. "I 
got that too. There was a video clip with it that had some chick 
saying 'I'm not going to screw up my life, getting pregnant', 
then she walks away like she has a load in her pants. 
Don't believe all that stuff. But, when I did ask my sisters 
about it they both hedged and said was a personal choice of a 
committed couple. 
I didn't press, it sounded gross. But, I know people do it".

We looked like 4 zombies being led off into the night as our 
minds wandered about the awful things men do to your bodies to 
get off. I had in my mind, a long time; any sex act I did not 
enjoy would be off limits. I was not going to be a subservient 
sex tool to anyone.
Finally Megan stood up. "OK, lets get our minds off of things 
that are scaring us, ruining our mood. This is supposed to be a 
giggly fun party. 
I don't wanna talk sex no more. 
I WANT TO SEE IT. 
Lets put on the porno movie!!!."

"God, I don't believe you actually have one of those things", I 
said. "Where did you get it?"

"From my sister, who else", Kim laughed. "I told her we were 
having a slumber and planned to talk sex and boys and she 
suggested it. She and her husband have a lot of them. She said 
she got hooked on them in her sorority days for a source of 
laughs, and to ease tension and stress. You know, with what you 
do afterward. She even told me they had blanket parties where a 
bunch of girls sit with blankets over each of them, watching 
pornies, and they could use their hands as they liked without the 
others seeing. She said it sounded 'lezzie' but it wasn't at 
all."

Megan slipped the movie in the VCR and went to lock the door so 
her parents couldn't walk in. The movie opened with some guy 
talking about the new bunch of girls he had for his viewers, and 
they were all new to the porno business. 
Then a girl appears on a couch and the guy interviewed her about 
sex, what she liked and didn't. Before you knew it she was nude 
and masturbating. We giggled and made fun of marks on her body 
and supposed what she was thinking as she began to make loud 
squeally noises. 
Then the guy who interviewed her came into the shot and began to 
lick her vagina. We got quiet for a bit, then Kim made some 
comment and we all laughed and started throwing in barbs. A few 
minutes later she had this huge penis half way down her throat. I 
was mesmerized, because, it was the first real penis I had ever 
seen. I had seen drawings, but never a real one. It was huge, but 
this girl had done this before, and she looked like she really 
enjoyed it. She licked him all over and sucked on his balls, 
smiling at him. 
Kim and Megan were a riot with their comments. Jennifer was 
pretty quiet, while I laughed, but was a little uncomfortable 
seeing all this for the first time. 
Then, the guy lays the girl out with her legs way up over her 
head and he puts his penis at the shaved opening (Kim made a lot 
of barber jokes at that, too) of her vagina, and slides the whole 
thing in. We all sat in stunned silence that this huge thing 
could slide into such a little girl. 
Boy, did she love it. I must say she made ME hot too. 
We grew more comfortable with the scenes as they changed 
positions over and over and we each threw in funny comments. Then 
finally he started moaning and he pulled his huge penis out and 
she scooted right down and put her mouth over it. Then she opened 
it so the camera could see a mouthful of this thick milk white 
stuff, and she swallows it and licks and sucks him more. Four 
girls with eyes bugged out watched in silence while the guy 
squirmed and shouted, and the girl sucked and swallowed. 

"Girls", Jennifer said, "That is what a full blow job is, like it 
or not. That's what it looks like. But, I can tell you that when 
you are with someone you love, it is making love, not a blowjob, 
and can be beautiful. We all laughed at this, but it is pretty 
downgrading to women".

"That may be true", Kim, said, "But, this whole performance was 
for the sake of sexual entertainment, and quite frankly, I was 
entertained, and I learned a few things".

The rest of us were pretty much quiet and did not participate in 
the short lived tete-a-tete. 
I think we were all anxious to see the next scene and I wondered 
how hot that first one had made the others. I know I was a little 
warm down below. 
The next few scenes offered more of the same, script and acting 
wise. The same guy with the huge penis having oral sex with some 
young girl, then screwing her brains out and having his orgasm 
either in her mouth or on her face. We made fun of the noises the 
girls made and were having a general good time, but were bored 
after seeing the same thing over and over. At least now I knew 
what a penis really looked like, and what sex acts looked like. 
If not in the company of my girlfriends, I would have been quite 
mortified.

The fourth scene was a girl, with almost no boobs at all, 
masturbating a guy with her feet. 
It made great fodder for jokes and girl catcalls. All 3 of my 
friends had probably, at least, done that with their boyfriends, 
but none with their feet. When the guy finally had his orgasm, 
(God I have to start talking less technical), when he finally 
CAME, he shot it high into the air and into her hair and then a 
second volley to her chest, before more oozed onto her feet.
 
Megan jumped to her knees," Wow, what would that feel like inside 
of you? He must have squirted half a cup. He could have knocked 
over cans on a fence post at 20 feet!!"

"Well, girls, I guess we know Jimmy B is not a big cummer", Jenny 
said as she poked at Meg. Meg was embarrassed at her outburst and 
was quick to defend herself and her beau.

"Well, I only see a thimbleful in the end of the condom, and he's 
gone and cleaned up before I could really get a good look both 
times".

"Ohhh, BOTH times. Ladies we now know that Meg has done it twice" 
Kim cheered.

Meg shot Kim a look, and then smiled when she realized it was 
just kidding around.
 
Meg gave her a little sneer, saying, "Don't worry, you'll catch 
up . . . when that boyfriend of yours can get it up". 

"Oh, he can get it up" Kim retorted, "and it's as big as that 
guys is, too. I am NOT kidding!"

I wished I had something to add, but was enjoying their playing. 
I noticed the screen had 2 new people on it.

" Look", I said " a NEW guy and a new girl"!

The guy behind the camera introduced the couple as a one that 
were married and only worked with each other in adult movies. 
They had only made a few and were getting out of the business 
soon. They said they truly made love in their scenes and were 
strictly in it for the money, and were not shy about their love 
and how they made it. The guy told them to do their thing and 
they began.

The scene began with all their clothes on, which surprised us. 
They went through all of the stages of foreplay, and were quite 
sensuous in every way. When the girl got down to put the penis in 
her mouth, she had me wanting to do it. They were hot, and all 4 
of us were quiet and, I am sure pretty juicy.

 "Man, I could use one of those blanket party deals right now", 
Megan said.

"Do you really want all of us to see you masturbate?", Kim 
questioned.

"Well, with a blanket over you, no one really sees", Jennifer 
reasoned. "Let's face it, we're all going to do it thinking about 
this scene, and it not even over".

"I have to admit", I began, "Its got me pretty steamy and they 
are not even done yet".

After watching them go down on each other, with both of them 
licking each other everywhere, and I do mean everywhere, he 
finally began to make love to her. 
I mean really putting his penis, . . .his DICK (I had seen 5 of 
them tonight, I was on a first name basis, now) inside of her. 
They were lip locked as he humped his dick in and out of her. The 
way she held on to his back and dug her fingers into him, it was 
apparent she was in love with him and what he was doing to her. 
He got up and she quickly turned over to all fours and he plowed 
into her again. He leaned over her and grabbed her breasts and 
they touched tongues, swapping spit. She whispered to him to 
touch her ass and he went back to his knees. He stuck a thumb in 
his mouth and brought it down to her anus and pushed it right in. 
She quickly squealed with joy as he began sawing the thumb in and 
out of her to same rhythm as his dick in her . . .pussy. After a 
minute or two he produced a plastic bottle of liquid oil, or gel 
and began to put it on her anus and then push it in with his 
thumb. We all knew what was coming.

"He's really going to do it, isn't he", Jenny said. "I never 
thought it could be so sensuous, or at least look that way."

"It's a little alarming how stretched out and open she is", I 
said. "I think she has done this before", I chuckled.

He then pulled his dick out of her and took the lube bottle and 
laid 2 lines of lube along its length and then a huge dollop on 
the tip of his dick. He pressed it to her anus and she told him 
to go slow at first. 
She drew quick breaths as he pressed forward, and she pushed him 
back with her hand a couple times, but soon, he was pressed right 
up against her. After a minute she looked back and told him to 
fuck her. He began sawing in and out of her. I was so turned on 
by the sensuality of the whole scene that this act, which I would 
have considered a perverted ticket to hell an hour ago, looked 
like the most natural love making I had seen yet.  
Within minutes she began to moan and cheer him on to continue his 
onslaught into her butt. 
She said she wanted to see his face as her fucked her and he 
pulled his glistening dick out of her. 
She rolled to her back and brought her legs up and he put a 
pillow under her butt. He put his dick up to her anus,. . errr . 
. asshole, and it swallowed him right in.  Her breathing became 
long hard wheezes as she built towards an orgasm and she soon had 
a wild-eyed look on her face and she quit breathing and was 
turning red as a beet. Then the most blood-curdling yell came 
from her mouth and she appeared to pee to big squirts. 

I was beginning to think she had lost bodily function control 
when Jenny blurted out, "She's a squirter, a real female 
ejaculator".
 
"She's peeing!", I said.

"No," Jenny said without taking her eyes off the screen, "It's 
not pee, see, it's clear. It's actually from the natural lube 
ducts in your body. Think about how good it feels when you 'cream 
your jeans', and imagine squirting from there. It's supposed to 
be awesome. It's a g-spot orgasm."

I had read about them in the Joy of Sex.

As Jenny finished speaking, the girl on the screen began to 
convulse a little and she used what little coordinated strength 
she had to push the man out of her. 
She lay there gasping for breath, and vibrating like she had a 
current going through her. She finally opened her eyes and smiled 
at her partner and he again pushed into her butt and began 
screwing her like crazy. 
She had another of those earth shattering, seeming near death, 
orgasms when he called out that he was going to cum. She drew her 
ass off his dick and went right for the slippery head that just 
came out of her ass. 
Without really putting it in her mouth, (Thank God!), she opened 
her mouth and he, without stroking or touching himself, began 
shooting jets of cum into her mouth. Not one or two, but 5 or 6. 
She swallowed some but let the rest run out of her mouth onto his 
dick. 
She used it as a lube to then run her hand up and down it's 
length, made an O with her fingers to run it right up to the tip, 
squee-geeing the cum from his dick. She then put it in her mouth, 
sucked a little, showed some cum on her tongue, swallowed and 
mouthed "I love you" to the guy and they kissed, swapping the 
juices she had in her mouth. THE END came up on the screen and we 
all sat there dumbfounded.

"THAT WAS HOT", Kim was the first to say. "If you told me what 
they were going to do I would have said to skip the movie, it 
sounded too disgusting. But that was HOT. What kind of orgasm was 
THAT. Now I know why my sister says she likes anal so much".

 "I never would have thought", Jenny began, "that any lovemaking 
could have been that sensual, that hot. I read about squirting 
orgasms once and thought it was a myth. I heard of girls passing 
out with an orgasm and thought that was a figure of speech, but 
she was close to lights out. Hard to believe OUR bodies are 
capable of that."

"I think it's hard to believe our BOYS are capable of that", Meg 
added. " I still don't want nobody sticking a dick up my butt, or 
shooting their stuff in my mouth. But I have to admit that with 
the right guy, at the right time . . . ."

I think I shocked everyone when I blurted out, "me too, the right 
guy, the right time, the right situation, all of that seems 
feasible. You know, an option. One thing I know is now true, that 
I never understood when I read it before; NOTHING two people do, 
with each other's consent, is perverted or unreasonable. 
That couple was on the same page. I wanted to screw that guy, he 
was so gentle, loving and feeling towards her". 

"Wow", Kim said, "the Virgin Mary gives it up for a porno star!"

I picked up a throw pillow and threw it at Kim. We all laughed 
and then sat back and relaxed.

"Now what do we do", Megan asked. "It's just 2:45, what do we do 
now? I'm a little too keyed up to go to sleep".

Jenny looked at each of us and said, "I have a suggestion, if 
everyone is game. Let's pass out the blankets for that blanket 
party thing Kim's sister told her about, turn out the lights and 
rewind that scene. We are all friends here. We've seen each other 
shower and change clothes, you know, gotten personal. I think we 
all feel a little, or maybe a lot, a. frustrated by the hot sex 
scene we saw. It's something else we can share that's special. If 
you guys don't want to do that, I have to go take a long shower".

"Let me get this straight", Megan said. "We all sit and get a 
blanket to cover ourselves, and we let our hands do what comes 
naturally and no one can see. But we can hear each other".

"That's what my sister said", Kim said sheepishly. "You sit, you 
know, like we are, Indian style, so everything is, you 
know.opened up. You have the blanket over the front of you and 
you can do what you want. It sounded pretty kinky when she told 
me, but it's sounding pretty good right now. Or else, I'M going 
to need a long shower too".

"You know I'm in" Jenny said. "I let a guy take a picture of me 
with his dick in my mouth, that is probably all over the internet 
by now, so. . . I can't be anymore embarrassed, and you guys are 
friends and I'm ultimately closer to you than anyone in the 
world. Plus I can talk to you guys about more things that ANYONE, 
even my Mom or sisters. It seems right".

"Carree, how about you?", Megan said. "If you don't want to, we 
won't do it. I respect you too much to force you to do it, or to 
leave the room so we can".

I was flattered that she felt that way about our friendship and 
had qualms about expressing it to the others. She and I never 
talked about sex or that kind of personal stuff much, me being 
the Virgin Mary and all (ha ha), but all of a sudden, with that 
personal mountain climbed, we became true sisters.

"I'm in", I said. "That scene had me going and I wanted to touch 
myself the first time I saw it. But, before we do, there is one 
thing I have to say, or tell, you all. 
We all had confessions of a sort tonight, and you know I am still 
a virgin, my boyfriend is a lying dud who doesn't, as they say, 
have the balls, to try and touch me to express his feelings to 
me. You all thought I was the Virgin Mary, saving myself to be a 
nun. I have to tell you this. Back a few months ago when Meg gave 
us details of her trip to Jimmy's cabin, when we played Truth 
Spin. She described in detail about holding Jimmy's peni . . .I 
mean, dick, and getting laid and everything. Kim didn't have a 
fourth place to sleep in her room, so I agreed to put my sleeping 
bag on the sofa in the parlor. Well, just to show you I am 
normal, I'll tell you this. 
I diddled myself for an hour that night on that sofa, thinking 
about Meg and Jimmy getting it on. And, I didn't even know what a 
real penis, I mean DICK, looked like until tonight, besides 
drawings. 
But, I was hot as hell. A few weeks later, I replayed her story 
in my mind one night when I couldn't sleep and did the same 
thing. So, please don't patronize me. 
I'm not a nun, I don't want to be a nun. I would love to get made 
love to, just like all of you guys. I want to learn about sex and 
be able to share questions and thoughts with my 'sisters'."

"Lordy", Jenny said, "You sure surprise me, Carree. You were the 
one I wanted to tell about my New York trip after Rick ignored me 
and threw me away. I wanted you to tell me what to do so I could 
make myself right with God. That's how much I thought you WERE 
'the Virgin Mary'. You know, we get preconceived notions and . . 
. .well, I'm real sorry Carree. I think we can all be more honest 
now".

"Well", I said. "Where are the blankets?"

Megan got up a little sheepishly and went to the closet and 
pulled out 4 blankets.

 "I can't believe we are doing this", she said. "I can't believe 
I want to do this. This is the way I felt going up the mountain 
road to Jimmy's camp that day . . . Excited, but scared".


We all pulled up spots in front of the sofa, except Kim, who was 
in front of the recliner right along side us. We sat "Indian 
style" as Meg dropped blankets to each of us and one to her spot 
next to me. 
I grabbed mine and stuffed part of the blanket under my knees and 
butt and pulled the corners up over my shoulders and I then 
leaned back to seal my "tent". All that showed was my head. Jenny 
and Kim took my lead and Meg was busying herself getting the 
remote and turning off the lights.

"My sister said it sounded kind of 'lezzie'," Kim said, " and I 
am just thinking that if I tried to explain this to anyone, it 
would sound awful".

"Hey, that's one thing we have to discuss", Megan said as she 
plopped down beside me. 
"We are all best friends to each other, but we each have other 
friends we confide in. NO ONE else can ever find out that we did 
this. AGREED?? Consider that signed in blood?"

The three of us nodded as Meg continued, 
 . . ."and no one has to do anything here. If anyone has second 
thoughts, no one makes fun or anything like that. But if you 
don't do anything, you are still part of this pact, OK?". Again 
the 3 of us nodded assent. 

"Megan", I said, "if that is aimed at me I want you to know that 
I am 100% into this. Damn it all, I can't get that schlub 
boyfriend of mine to put some sexcitement into my life, I may as 
well do something to do it myself".

"Sexcitement?", Jennifer said laughing.
 
"Did I say SEXcitement?", I asked, "Wow, a real Freudian slip".
 
We all laughed as it broke up a little tension. There we sat, 
four of us, in our PJ's , in our little tents, as Meg rewound the 
tape to the spot where the last scene started. She found it and 
pushed play, and then busied herself making her tent to hide 
herself.

"OK, now.  No talking or making jokes or anything, and have fun 
everybody", Jenny said as if we were about to go on a ride at 
Disney.

The camera guy just finished introducing the couple and they just 
began to kiss as we settled in, four sets of eyes staring at the 
screen. I wondered, as it started, if we would think it was as 
hot now, already knowing what happens. 
Once the guy had the girl's shirt up and was fondling and kissing 
her breasts, at least I got the answer to that question. The 
girl's breasts were big and full, like mine, and my own nipples 
ached to be touched, and touch I did. 
You could make some pretty bold moves under the blanket without 
being detected by anyone watching. I grew more confident right 
away. I pinched and twisted my nipples and squeezed my breast in 
tandem with what I saw on the screen. I noticed right away that 
my breathing was quickened and I wondered if the others noticed 
too.
  
"Screw it", I thought to myself. I am going to make as if they 
are not in the room. If they don't like the noise I make, too 
bad. 
But, I also thought that if anyone was going to be modest about 
breathing heavy or making noise, maybe my own heavy breathing or 
groans might embolden them to let loose. 
My arms were crossed as I cupped and pinched each breast in 
unison with the screen, then, as the guy pulled her shorts off 
and kissed his way down her belly to begin licking her vagina, or 
"eating her", I slid my own hand from under my pajama top to 
inside my bottoms. I was wet, I knew, but I was not aware how 
wet. 
A lot more than any other times I did this. I used my fingers to 
pull my lips apart and I slid my index finger all the way down 
the slit and then back up to my little bud, my clit. 
As I stroked it a couple times with my index and middle finger 
and felt it jump and engorge. It felt great and I blew out a 
mouthful of air and sucked in another through my nose. I kept 
those two fingers right on the spot and swirled them in a small 
circular motion. 
Ahh, I was happy. 
The couple on the screen had twisted themselves into a 69 
position and was happily licking and fondling each other. The 
thought of putting a penis in my mouth did not seem as revolting 
as it had other times I thought about it. 
I heard myself hum a kind of soft groan on one of my exhales. I 
knew I was on my way to a nice orgasm. 
While I was concentrating on the screen, I did notice that there 
were 3 other girls in the room, all heavy breathing. I made sure 
I didn't look at any of them so as not to embarrass them or break 
my own concentration. 
The TV duo were now putting their tongues in each other 
buttholes. I didn't really understand this, what pleasure might 
come from it, but soon the girl could no longer concentrate on 
holding the guys balls and penis aside to get way down there. She 
raised her head and moaned and "oh my God", as his tongue drilled 
her anus. It dilated and he soon filled it with spit and put his 
finger up her butt and continued licking her vagina . . .PUSSY. 
Those words, pussy, dick, cock, asshole, fuck, all make 
everything sound sexier. I just have a hard time getting used to 
using them. I don't like "cunt" though. It just has a sound that 
makes whatever you are talking about seem filthy. After some 
moans and mewls on the screen, the girl dropped her mouth around 
his dick and rapid fired it deep, in and out of her throat. 
Finally she could take no more of his licking and reached her 
hand between his lips and her pussy and rolled off him. 
She looked him in the eye and said, "fuck me". 
She was putting me over the first edge of my first orgasm. 
He knelt between her legs and smacked his dick on her pussy a few 
times, then he just pushed between her lips and sunk in to the 
hilt. 
She groaned and he began churning his hips in slow circular 
strokes as he hugged her body against him. Little squeaks from 
deep in her throat could be heard each time he hit bottom.

Finally he kneeled back, holding her to him and he turned and put 
her butt on the edge of a sofa. His cock as at the same level as 
her pussy and he threaded it in and out with long strokes. I 
hadn't noticed before when they showed a close up of his dick 
going in her, she had a hand underneath herself and was fingering 
her own asshole. 
Almost unconsciously, I dipped my wet fingers down underneath 
myself and touched my own bottom hole. It, as well as I, 
responded to my touch of that spot. 
It went from a place to poop from, to an erogenous zone. 
God, we are funny creatures. 
I thought to put one finger on my butthole and one on my clit, 
but to do that I would have to lean forward too much and I was 
afraid of the blanket falling down. That would have to wait for a 
more private session.
As the girl on the screen said "do me doggie", he pulled his dick 
from her pussy to let her off the couch. 
She knelt on the floor and spread her knees and lowered her head 
to a waiting pillow. I must have been distracted the first time I 
saw this, because I hadn't noticed that, before he sunk his dick 
back into her, he licked her pussy and dragged his tongue from 
there back up to her asshole. 
She closed her eyes and moaned a long "ohhhhh". 
As he put his dick back to her pussy I could hold off no longer. 
I tipped my head back and let out a stifled gutty moan. I was 
cumming. My two fingers were sliding on either side of my clit. 
It never felt it so big! 
I dug my fingers hard into myself letting out, Hmmmt, Hmmmt, 
Hmmmt, Hmmmt, Hmmmt, as I wanted to rut against myself. 
I came 3 times right in a row and probably would have went for 
more except I didn't want to take my eyes off the screen. 
Sounds in the room told me I was not the only one cumming. 
We all made different noises, some high pitched hums, some 
guttural grunts, but I think we were all cumming about the same 
time. 
The guy on the screen was now on his feet bent over her kissing 
her while sawing in and out of her. She told him to touch her 
ass. He pulled from for a second and grabbed a bottle of some 
kind of lube. He pushed back into her and began filling the 
dimple of her butt with the lube. He would then push it in with 
his thumb. 
My clit was sensitive, but I wanted another orgasm so I put a 
finger inside me, which I really hadn't done much, afraid of 
"breaking" myself. 
I was sawing my middle finger in small strokes in and out of my 
little pussy without really touching my clit and I felt a new and 
different kind of orgasm building deep within me.

The guy on the screen had just pulled from the girl's pussy and 
was putting lines of the liquid lube along his cock. Once he put 
a dollop on the tip I knew he was going to push that big thing up 
her butt. 
I still could not believe how easily it just slid right in. 
It was a lot sexier this time than the first time I saw it, maybe 
because I had touched my own nether hole and found that it was 
responsive. 
She was having somewhat of a tough time taking it in herself at 
first, but she never asked him to stop, just to go slow. 
Soon, he had a rhythm and she was cumming to beat the band making 
noises like I never heard before. 
She said something about seeing his face and he pulled from her 
as she flipped to her back. He took the pillow her head was on 
and put it under her butt and she lifted her legs way up beside 
her head. 
Her butthole was tipped right up to him and open for him. He took 
the lube bottle and squirted a clear shot right into her dilated 
hole. 
He positioned his penis right there and drove into her butt. Her 
eyes rolled back and she began meeting his strokes. When she got 
to the part where she was like vibrating and turning red, where I 
thought she was convulsing and passing out, she started the 
squirting. 
As she did that I started to cum again myself. But, this was an 
orgasm, not from my clit, but from inside me. No matter where it 
was from, it was getting harder and harder not to scream out. 
Just then the girl on the screen gave here blood curdling report 
to her orgasms as she had to push the guy from her body. She 
vibrated like she had an electric wire going through her and she 
sprayed 3 times into the air from her pussy. 
I noticed this time that the guy tried to catch them in his mouth 
and he did get a good shot of the third volley. 
She let out a big sigh and smiled at him and he stuck his dick 
right back in her butthole. 
I was, in the meantime, having my second and third vaginal orgasm 
from my stroking. I let out some ooo's and ahh's as they came 
over me. 
They were different from the violent orgasms from my clit, but 
felt as good. 
My hand was soaked, as I suspected my pajama bottoms were, as I 
pulled my middle finger from my slit and brought it along with my 
index finger back to my now rested clit.

He began sawing in earnest in her ass again and she was starting 
to have one of those loud electric orgasms when he said he was 
cumming. 
She pushed at his stomach and pulled herself back and spun around 
to get her head near his cock. 
She was squirting as she did this, I hadn't seen that the first 
time through. 
Where does that fluid come from?

I don't know a lot about men and how they cum, but I always 
thought they had to have contact with their hand, another hand or 
vagina or something to ejaculate. But, he sat back on his 
haunches almost barking like a dog and, without touching his 
penis, shot 6 huge shots of white thick cum, she catching each in 
her mouth. 
She swallowed some and then let it run out over his dick. As she 
stroked his dick with her cum slathered hands I came one more 
time from rubbing my clit. 
I let out a loud groan, louder than any noise I had made yet that 
night. 
Meg and Kim, as if they planned it let out loud groans together, 
as if they were punched in the stomach. I could see Meg from the 
corner of my eye, dropping her head back resigning herself to the 
orgasm.
The girl on the screen was just making an O with her thumb and 
forefinger at the base of the guys cock, where it met his balls, 
and drew it forward to wipe the cum from his cock. 
Once she brought it up to a pinch at the tip she wiped the load 
from her fingers to her mouth and breasts. 
She looked at his dick again and he groaned a little and a pearl 
size drop of cum came out. She licked it off, showed it to him 
and swallowed. 
That particular act, I thought was very sexy.

Then, she took the dick, that had been up her bowels, into her 
mouth and licked it clean. She kissed him and mouthed "I Love 
You" to him.

It was over. I just came my last time, a gentle soothing orgasm 
from my clit. 
The previous cums had desensitized me a little. But, I had found 
something new with the orgasms I had from putting my fingers IN 
myself. 
I was steeped in my own reverie when Jenny let loose with a long 
loud grunt as if she were trying to pass a bowling ball. 

I was back in the room now. I was out of my sexually induced 
state of private pleasure. 
I put my head back and closed my eyes as I listened to the others 
finish their deeds and then sigh, as I had, only to drop their 
heads back to rest and contemplate what had just happened.

"If I wasn't convinced those two were not totally in love and 
committed to each other, that would have been a disgusting 
display", Jenny said through still slightly labored breathing. "I 
can't believe how hot they made that".

" Pretty good way to sum it up, Jen", Megan said. "A lot of what 
they did never crossed my mind and if someone ever suggested it, 
I would have to call the Police. Good Lord Jesus Christ, that was 
hot".

"I never had an O that good ever before. That guy was hot.  The 
girl was awesome.  I imagined myself in her place. I couldn't 
have done it, but I admire her for the commitment she had to her 
man, his pleasure and hers.". Kim said. 
"They did things I never heard or thought of either, Jen."

"I was stunned", I said. "I never thought I could get off that 
much watching things like that. I agree there were things I never 
heard or thought of in their repertoire. They were hot to watch. 
I really got off". 

We all put our heads back and let out long breaths. I think the 
other three were thinking the same thing that I was; 
How about the four of us, what did WE just do. We just blindly 
did one of the most personal things a living creature can do, in 
front of each other because we were seduced by a tape. 
We were put in a sexually induced state and did something we 
would never ever think we COULD do. 
Was sex that powerful? 
Is that why your parents try to keep you from being alone 
together? 
Would you do ANYTHING, like the girl in the video scene, if you 
were hot enough? 
Do you lose all control? Could I, could we, control ourselves if 
we were put in such a state?

Megan broke my thought process by throwing off her blanket and 
standing up. "I don't know about you guys, but I am bushed. I 
could fall asleep standing on my head. Fold your blanket and put 
them on the top shelf of that closet. Kim, grab that video and 
put it away. I wouldn't want to forget it and have my Dad find it 
tomorrow". 

With that, Megan disappeared into the bathroom as we all stood up 
and followed her orders. We were just putting the last blanket in 
the closet when Meg came out of the john, unlocked the door to 
the TV-Study room and crossed to her bedroom. 
She stopped about one step out of the room and said, "Before you 
guys come in my room and touch anything,. . .  uhhhh . . . ummmm 
. . . .wash your hands". 
With that she smiled big and we all laughed. I hadn't been sure 
if Meg was tired or remorseful by her robotic actions after she 
got up. Now I knew she was just tired. I didn't want anyone to 
feel bad about this.

Kim grabbed her tape and went into the bathroom with her shoulder 
bag leaving Jennifer and me in the room. 
I looked at Jenny and went to hug her, saying "Now you know, and 
we know, why you did what you did when you went on your little 
honeymoon with Rick. Look how easy we got carried away by just 
watching that video. 
Sexuality and curiosity can be very powerful. Don't ever be 
ashamed about that again. 
You are a fine person and a great friend. Don't let that cloud 
hang over you. 
It could have been any one of us".

Jen tightened her hug with me and then broke it, looking me 
square in the eye. "Thanks, I was thinking the same thing and 
wondered if I was fooling myself, doing so. I guess I wasn't. 
Thanks. It was great to hear from you. I hope the others 
understand like you".

"I'm sure they do", I said as the bathroom door opened and Kim 
came out.

"Whose next", Kim blurted as she whisked past us. 
"I'm so tuckered I almost fell asleep sitting on the throne".

 Jen and I chuckled as Kim passed and Jen went right to the 
bathroom. 

"I can't hold it any longer, if you don't mind", Jen said.

"No, go ahead", I said as I picked up the room a little for Meg.

There was still a lot of Heidi Stewarts pizza left and empty soda 
glasses. I turned off the TV and that left me in a dark room. I 
felt my way to the light switch and turned it on. 
Just then Meg and Kim came back in.

Meg said, "I better pick up. So my Mom doesn't have to in the    
. . . Oh, you got food and cups together. Thanks."
 
I noticed as Meg and Kim went around the room picking up and 
straightening that they had both shed their panties. It was 
easily discernable through the thin PJ bottoms. 
Jen opened the bathroom door and I saw she had lost hers too. As 
I made a beeline for the bathroom I knew I would get rid of mine 
too, and for the same reason, they were soaking wet.
 
It was quite a night. I felt more like a woman, almost as if I 
had sex with the guy in the video. 
I sighed as I stripped off my bottoms and panties and sat on the 
toilet. This night was going to change my relationship with 
Billy. If it didn't, he would be gone from my life. 
I couldn't wait for him any longer. 
My sexuality was awake. 
As much as I wanted to feel a man inside me, I wanted it to be a 
man I loved. 
Also, Heidi Stewart's words rang in my ears, about how pregnancy 
ruined her life. I wouldn't let that happen to me. 
I kicked my panties aside, put on my bottoms, washed my hands, 
grabbed a tissue and rolled it around my soiled underwear. 

I tucked that into the waistband of my PJs and pulled my top down 
over the waist. I switched off the light and went to Megan's room 
where the other three had already gotten into bed or sleeping 
bags. 
Getting to sleep tonight would not be a problem.




If I had dreamed that night, I didn't remember. But, 
as I struggled to become awake, I also struggled to 
place where I was. I heard voices talking in low 
tones. Suddenly the events of last night in Megan's TV 
room came home and I realized the voices I heard. As 
my eyes focused and fluttered open I heard one of the 
voices, Megan's speak to me.
"Earth to Carree, welcome to reality. It's Saturday"

"Oh, good morning!" I managed.

"Not quite" said Kim, as I found the other voice that 
brought me out of my sleep. "It's one thirty in the 
after noon. Jennifer is in the shower. Megan's already 
had hers. You and me are next, but if we want any hot 
water, it might be a good idea to go down and catch a 
coffee first. Jen has been in there a long time."

Just as Kim finished saying that, the door swung open 
and Jennifer came in with towel wrapped around her and 
another in her hair.
 "What no robe, Jen?", Megan asked. "You could have 
given my Dad quite an eyeful if he came up".
"I'm sure I don't have anything that he hasn't seen 
before, although I would be pretty embarrassed. My 
robe takes up half my overnight bag, so it was the 
robe or my dryer, and I love my dryer", Jen said.
"Geez", Kim said, "You were in there an AWfully l-o-n-
g time, you could have saved US some hot water, or 
were you too busy to think about us".
With that Jennifer turned a bright red as she blushed 
a guilty look.
"Oh my God", Megan said. "You did it again in the 
shower didn't you, you old horn toad".
"Sorry, I couldn't even wash without arousing myself, 
besides, that video is etched pretty good in my brain. 
My period is due, and I'm always extra horny then", 
Jen admitted.
"We weren't grilling you", I said, "Just busting on 
you. YOU were the one who blushed when Meg said it".
Jen sat on her bed and began drying and combing out 
her hair. We were all waiting for her to finish that 
and put on some clothes so we could go downstairs for 
coffee. 
Meg looked around at me and said, "You and Kim better 
put on some underwear too. You can see right through 
your bottoms".
 "I have a robe", I said. "Me too" Kim echoed." Don't 
worry, we'll be decent".
It was quiet in the room for a minute while we watched 
Jen stroke her hair out.

I had to get something out into the open. "Is 
everybody OK with last night? No regrets? No remorse? 
No great pangs of guilt? If so, lets talk about it".

"I'm OK", Meg said as Kim and Jen echoed the same. " 
But" Meg continued, "Lets finish the pact we made last 
night. We did, what we did, as something four good 
girlfriends do, and probably do once in their life,. 
together, like that. I think it made us closer as 
friends and sisters. But, once we leave this room to 
go downstairs, it never happened. We never mention it 
again even amongst ourselves. It's gone. It's just in 
our memories, and I am sure we all will remember it as 
long as we live. But, it's gone. We never speak of it 
again. Fair enough? I am not ashamed of it, but a lot 
more can be made of it than it was, and the more we 
speak of it, the better the chance it gets out."

"It sounds good to me", I said. "You're right", Jen 
chimed in. "I think its best we leave it right here, 
and never return to it. Kim, you can't even girl-talk 
it your sisters. OK?"

"Signed in blood", Kim said.
 "Say goodbye to it girls, and lets go downstairs for 
coffee.", Megan said rising.
"Then Carree and Kim can shower and my Dad can drop 
you home on his way to pick up my mom at the mall."

The door clicked shut and, as far as I know, no one, 
until now, ever spoke another word about it. It was a 
special night that was never repeated, at least with 
me.
I couldn't wait to see Billy on Sunday night when he 
got home. He had explaining to do about the stories he 
was telling about us to his friends. He also had to 
get a little aggressive with me if he really planned 
on making me a part of his life. I would wait no more 
for his hormones to kick in. 


Sunday came and went without my even hearing from Billy and 
by 7:30 I was more than peeved. I decided to call him. I 
had gotten my period Saturday night and was not in the best 
of moods Sunday anyway. He was going to hear from me.
When I dialed I hoped he would answer the phone so I didn't 
have to make any small talk with his Mom or Dad, and I got 
my wish.
"Well, were you ever going to call me, or were you going to 
let 3 whole days go by without talking to me!!", I spat 
into the phone when I heard his voice.

"Well, uh.I just got home a couple hours ago and I took a 
nap and." he started before I interrupted. 
"A couple hours ago!! I've been staring at the phone to 
make it ring and you have been home a couple hours? You 
better start adding something to this relationship to make 
me want to see you again. I was hoping you would miss me, 
for God's sake".

"Jeepers Carree, let get a word in. I don't feel good. I 
didn't want to call you feeling so rotten, so I thought a 
nap would make me feel better. But, it hasn't and your call 
makes me feel worse. What got into you this weekend?", 
Billy questioned.

I wasn't going to let him up. "Maybe a lot got into me this 
weekend. Maybe a senior picked me up at the dance Friday 
and took me to the lake and...and... Oh SHIT, Billy, I got my 
damned period and I feel like crap and I just wanted to 
hear your voice. Then, you never called. I'm sorry for 
taking my frustration, pain and anger out on you. I wanted 
you to cheer me up. It's my hormones talking."

"Wow, that's the first time I EVER heard you swear. Is this 
the first time you got that thing?", he stupidly asked.

"What thing?", I wanted to make sure of by asking.

"You know, that thing you just said you got today", Billy 
said

"Do you mean my period?? I've been getting it for 5 years 
now. Just what planet are you from Billy? Didn't your Mom 
and Dad ever tell you anything about girls or sex?",  I 
slammed back at him. I was rolling now, and I knew I had 
said more than I wanted to.

Billy got defensive now, and I couldn't blame him. "You 
never reported it to me before so I guess I figured you 
never had it or it wasn't my business".

"Billy, you have been the only member of the opposite sex 
in my life for as long as I knew there was a difference 
between male and female. You are part of almost every 
decision I make. WHY wouldn't it be any of your business? 
What am I to you?", I screamed at him.
 "I guess maybe I don't know. I thought I was going out 
with the prettiest, nicest girl I ever knew, until she left 
for her school. But, tonight I'm hearing a ferocious 
fighting female who I really don't know", Billy said.

"You know me Billy, you're the only one who knows me 
through and through. Just sometimes I think you are too 
dense to realize it", I said.

"You didn't go up to the lake with a senior after the dance 
on Friday then?", Billy asked.
 
"Well, what do you think? You've never even brought me up 
there, so how would I know what to do? (I fired my first 
shot in my quest of waking Billy up) You know I would never 
go out on you. Why? Did you meet a bunch of lady hunters in 
the woods who took you to their cabin to show you real 
wildlife?" (My second shot), I said as he began to piss me 
off again with that stupid question. 

"Of course not. I would never cheat on you either. Boy, you 
are in a mood! Listen; tell the real Carree that I will 
pick her up for school tomorrow morning at 7:15, OK? 
Goodnight!", he spat and slammed down the phone.

Good, I thought. I got him pissed and maybe put an idea in 
his head. I don't know if my "senior at the lake" comment 
got him jealous or just P O 'ed. But I think I struck a 
nerve and gave him the idea that I might not be ALL his, if 
he didn't treat me right. I was in a mood, though, and was 
a little sorry for being so hard on him. 

As I replayed the things he said to me I was struck by 
something. So much so, that I called him back. He answered 
on the first ring.

"Billy, What did you mean by 'going away to her school'?", 
I said without even saying hello.
 "You know", he answered. "When you go away to the convent 
school or whatever you do when you become a nun".

"WHEN DID I EVER TELL YOU THAT I WAS GOING TO BE A NUN? WHO 
GAVE YOU THAT IDEA? LOOK AT ME; DO I LOOK LIKE A NUN? WOULD 
A NUN TELL YOU THAT YOU WERE A FUCKING IDIOT?", and with 
that I slammed the phone down. I had never been so mad or 
outraged in all of my life. I had heard, since I was in 7th 
or 8th grade that I was going to be a nun, or was at least a 
very holy person who was pure as the driven snow. I always 
thought it was funny that people could get that idea from 
impressions. In grade school I was always picked to play 
Mary in the school Christmas plays. I was a slight girl, 
light brown hair, blue eyes, and perfect complexion. I was, 
and still am, very neat and well groomed and dressed. I 
always volunteered to help the nuns with anything. Back then 
we had all nuns for our teachers.It was my nature, and still is. 
I would help any authority figure, any elder, who 
was working for my benefit. I always figured I was known as 
brown-noser or butt-kisser. But, where in hell did this nun 
thing come from?
I stewed until my blood was boiling. I HAD to talk to 
someone, and that someone at these times had to be Megan. I 
had been in school and friends with Megan Parker since the 
2nd or 3rd grade. We shared a lot. She was always my 
defender. There was a real affection between us. I had 
always thought that would wane once we got older because of 
the seemed competition girls put themselves through with 
looks, boys etc. But that never happened with Meg.

Megan picked up on the first ring.
"Hi, Meg, do you have time to talk?"
"Sure, it looks like Jimmy isn't going to call tonight. He 
WILL pay for this. God, don't boys know anything about 
keeping a girl happy", Meg said.
 "Well, that's part of the reason why I called. I finally 
had to call Billy to find out they had been home for a 
couple hours, so Jimmy has been home too", I informed her.
"Meg, this may be out of the blue, but, do you remember 
when we talked on Friday about my status as Virgin Mary, nun 
to be, candidate for the convent?".
"Yeah, Yeah, that whole thing", Meg cut me short.
"Tell me", I continued, "Where did you first hear that 
notion, you know that I was going to join the convent".
"When you went on that retreat with the sisters in 7th 
grade. You went with the...whatdoyacallit, practice nuns"
"Novices", I interrupted. "Sister Mary Daniel took me with 5 
novices to some place near Cape Cod for a retreat. I had 
never been to the ocean and one of the novices was a cousin 
of my mothers. She said we could spend some time at the 
beach. We ended up spending more time in chapel than the 
beach, but I did get to see the ocean."

"Well, while you were gone they had us pray for everyone to 
get the calling to become members of holy orders. You know 
we used to do that at Friday Mass every week, but when you 
were gone it was everyday during morning prayer and 
announcements. Plus, your mother used to tell everyone that 
you were interested. At least, that what my mom used to 
tell me. You knew all this stuff was going on then..." She 
said.

"Well, not to any great extent. My mother used to say it 
would be nice if I got a vocation from God, but I had no 
interest. Her cousin was a novice then and since dropped 
out and got married. We had a lot of time to talk when we 
went on retreat, and she told me then it was not for her. 
How did this get all blown out? For Gods sake it was 5 or 6 
years ago", I said.
"Sister Daniel used to tell people that someday you might 
be a teacher at St. Pius and what a special relationship 
you had with God." Meg recalled.
"Oh my God, Meg, she was senile THEN. After she taught us, 
she must have really went off. Why didn't you ever tell me 
that I was targeted like that?"
"To tell you the truth, I believed it for a long time. I 
always wanted to know why you would do that with your life, 
but I figured if I screwed up a vocation, I would go 
straight to hell. You know how gullible you are at that 
age. But, later on I knew you had no intentions. You had a 
goody two shoes reputation, and that only fed it.", Meg 
said.
"Well, get this", I began, "BILLY still thinks I am going 
to be a nun. He said he always figured he would be with me 
until I went away to, quote,' my school', unquote. He said; 
"I thought I was going out with the prettiest, nicest girl 
I ever knew, until she left for her school." "All this time 
he thought that if he touched me he would be soiling a nun, 
I guess. Right now I am so goddamned mad at every freaking 
nun in that school, especially that old relic Sister 
Daniel, who, thank God, is gone. Why didn't somebody tell 
me all this crap was being said?", I shouted into the 
phone.
 "Part of it was what I said, you never wanted to screw up 
a vocation, but I thought it was pretty obvious you had 
changed your mind, if you ever thought to do it. I mean, 
seriously Care, a nun built like you? You would have the 
boys drooling on the desks. Girls who can't find guys 
become nuns, Right?."

"I don't think I'm THAT good looking but, thanks for the 
vote", I said.

Meg was quick to add, "No one even wants to shower with 
you,  you look so awesome, Care. Don't you have eyes! I'm 
proud of my body, but you look like a model. C'mon you 
can't be that naive".
"My Mom and Dad always taught me to be very modest and to 
cover up, not wear any clothes that revealed too much. If 
my Dad knew I wore a bikini he would have a fit. But, I 
always thought of myself as average"., I said.
 "Well, trust me," Meg said, "You are not average. Half the 
guys in school envy Billy because he is with you".
"I am very flattered by your words Meg. But, I still cannot 
believe how far this Virgin Mary and nun stuff has gone. I 
think I proved to my 3 best friends this weekend that I'm 
not nun material either, right?", I said.
"We don't go there, Care, but you are definitely right 
about that", Meg replied.

"God, I'm going to moon at assembly next week, just to 
change my image", I joked.
" You would make a lot of boys dreams come true if you 
did", Meg chided.

"Well", I said., "At least now I know where this all came 
from and how it kept feeding itself. But, it's really all 
so stupid. I will have to work at changing my image. I 
don't want to seem like a slut or whore, but I do want 
people to be honest with me in day to day dealings, without 
them thinking I am going to be a nun. And, I have to call 
Billy back and do a little butt kissing. I called him a 
fucking idiot. That's the 3rd time in my life I said that 
word out loud. He must have crapped his pants. I'll talk to 
you later Meg, and...Thanks for being honest and being my 
best friend. I wish we could hug right now."

"Consider yourself hugged, I'll see you at school, Bye", 
and Meg hung up.

I quickly dialed Billys number and he answered as if he 
were waiting for me to call.
"Hi, Billy, it's Carree. I am so sorry for blowing up at 
you before. It is a long story and I am sure you will 
forgive me when you hear it. I promise the old Carree will 
be here to get picked up at 7:15 tomorrow morning, if you 
still want to see her. OK?"

"I still want to see her", he said, but added "You aren't 
going to tell me that we are just friends though, are you? 
I think I really love you Carree and I've been sitting here 
thinking what I might have done to screw things up. I know 
we are just juniors, but we are almost 18, and I feel very 
good about us and..."
I had to interrupt him, "No Billy, I don't want us to end 
either, and you have done nothing to make me go off like I 
did. Don't beat your self up, OK? I'll see you in the 
morning...and one more thing. I think I really love you too. 
Sweet dreams, Bye".


Billy and I were late for first period as I spent from, the time 
he picked me up, 7:15, until 8:15, explaining to Billy Wilson 
that I was not going to be a nun, and that whole stupid scenario. 
To me, it was as if someone told me I had a second nose on the 
back of my head. That's how oblivious I was to all the stories 
that had been told over the past few years. I told him how pissed 
off I was that he never asked me about it in all the years we 
were together. He said he thought it was something private 
between God and me. I told him about honesty, trust and openness 
in relationships. There were no secrets. I even asked him if he 
was serious about wondering if I was having my first period . . . 
and he was!! No doubt his parents had truly repressed him, but my 
parents repressed me, and look what I did this past weekend. 
Finally the clock began to tick towards 8:20. At 8:20 they called 
all truants homes to be sure they were not coming, and not 
playing hooky. 
I said, "We have to go so our Moms don't get phone calls. I may 
even get Heidi Stewart to forget to report us late. I'll go in 
through the main door, you park your car in the back lot and come 
up the hall so people don't see us together. Go right to class, 
I'll have Heidi take care of things, OK?"
Billy nodded in agreement and leaned over to give me a kiss. I 
pecked him on the lips, and then once on the forehead.  I opened 
the door and reached for his hand, I gave it a squeeze and then 
held it. "Thanks for listening and thanks for understanding, 
Billy. One more question . . . . All the stuff about me going to 
convent, is that why you never tried to touch me, HERE" and as I 
said it I placed his open hand full on my left breast and 
squeezed with my hand. Without waiting for an answer, I got out 
of the car and hurried to Heidi Stewart's office.

The school week was uneventful with Billy and I spending little 
time together besides a ride home the 2 days either he or I 
didn't have track, which was ending because of the weather. Those 
rides were spent with small talk, and the subject of "us" was 
never breached, although each time he looked at me a little smile 
I had never seen appeared. It was an "I know something no one 
else knows" type of smile. I looked forward to the weekend.

There was a dance at St Pius on Friday and Billy asked me if I 
wanted to go or do something else. I said we should go, but then 
I found out it was going to be after the basketball game. That 
did not excite me. I asked Billy how much cash he could put 
together if we wanted to go "out" out, like to dinner. I could 
scare up about $15 of my own without asking my parents, whom I 
didn't want to ask. I was hoping we could say we were going to 
the game and dance, and then just show up at the dance. Billy 
said he had carry-out tips from the hardware store that no one 
really knew about, and he could swing most of it, if we didn't go 
to fancy. (His parents kept him on a budget to save for college, 
he saw little of what he made. He would eventually get most of 
his education paid for interning with a publishing company).
 We picked a quiet little family owned spot in town that was 
generally only busy when there was sports at the University. 
Tonight was free of crowds. There were 10 tables in front room 
and 6 more in the back. We asked for a table in the back to be 
alone and the waitress, after some coercing by me, let us sit in 
there, even though that room was usually closed when it wasn't 
busy.
"Billy", I said, "We have to talk about US. I have always under 
the impression that as long as things stayed the same between us, 
we would be a couple forever. You, on the other hand have always 
thought I was going to leave you for God. So, what am I to you. 
Have you ever thought about where we could be 5 years from now, 
10 or 20 years from now".
"Well, I always figured we would be friends forever, but I have 
always been afraid of the day when I couldn't be with you, hold 
you and kiss you goodnight.", he started." I figured there was 
some time when you would no longer allow me to kiss you".

"Billy, don't get mad at me, but, how could you have been so 
stupid, so thick, so untrusting of me", I said.
"Untrusting?", he interrupted.
"Yes, by not asking questions", I explained. "Did you think I was 
playing a game those nights we laid on the front seat of your 
car, your body pressed to mine with our mouths joined and you 
clawing at my shoulders and back? When you pressed your erection 
against my crotch, what did you think I was feeling? Was I just a 
vessel to give your imagination a fantasy to masturbate to?"

Billy was definitely feeling uncomfortable by my words, and my 
inference to his erection and masturbating. He kept looking 
around to make sure no one else could hear us.

Finally he got mad and sat up in his chair and leaned over the 
table to get closer to my face. He put a stern, determined look 
on his face, as he squeezed my hand on the table.
"Look, maybe I am stupid about some of the things I thought about 
you. Yes, I was afraid to touch you for fear I would do something 
that would chase you from my life. The fact is that I know that I 
am only 18, or almost, but I thought I found the person I want to 
spend my life with, and I was going to lose her. Every week I 
would hear things from my parents about 'spending your last times 
with your sweetheart', and 'don't worry, after college there will 
be plenty of girls who would want a successful writer'. They made 
it sound like we were 10 years old. I would really hate them 
sometimes; they acted like they were glad that you were going 
away to a convent. It meant that their boy would remain pure and 
not have any distractions for college. My Dad would take me aside 
and say 'don't you go and do anything to make her unfit to be a 
Sister'. They filled me up with so much bullshit, oops sorry . . 
. crap. It's like a weekly job of theirs to rub it in my face. 
Now I want to tell them you are not going to be a nun, but I know 
they will say 'What did you do to her?'. I'm going crazy Care. 
You know, I want to make them happy, they are my parents, but 
they seem to want to make my life miserable, like that's how it 
supposed to be. They make me put my paychecks in the bank where I 
can't touch them, they constantly remind me that you are not my 
property, but Gods. Everything I find in my life to give me a 
little freedom and make me feel good about myself, they think is 
wrong. I am not stupid, I am not a child, and . . . I do really 
love you".
Billy started to tear up and get real emotional. He had been 
holding things in for a long time. 
Our waitress just came around the corner at the end of Billy's 
diatribe and saw he was upset. She looked at me, knowingly and 
mouthed "I'll come back" and flashed me the OK sign.
"Billy, how could you hold so much inside for so long?", I asked. 
"Our relationship is supposed to be based on honesty and you were 
not honest with me if you had all that bottled up. I swear to 
God, it's like the nuns put me in a soundproof room and announced 
to the world that I had a vocation and anyone who said anything 
to ruin it would be stricken from the earth. I even asked my 
mother about it, and she said, 'don't be silly; no one thought 
you were going to be a nun. My cousin Clarice took you on a 
retreat once when you were 12, when she was a novice. You liked 
school so much that we thought maybe you were interested in 
teaching and all. Clarice wanted to be a teacher. Apparently the 
nuns got wind of this and blew it all out of proportion. But, I 
have no idea where your parents got their weird ideas".

"Oh, I do", he interrupted. "We used to have nuns to the house 
all the time for Sunday dinner and my mom would mend their nun 
clothes".

"Oh, my God, it was a conspiracy", I said as I smiled.

"Look Bill,. . . and that's all I am going to call you from now 
on, Bill. Billy is a boy. Bill is a man. And, I really think you 
are a man, now that you have stood up for me, and for yourself. 
Look Bill, you are the only guy I have ever really known, but I 
know what I like. We are two peas in a pod. People would tell us 
that we don't know what anyone else is like, but I don't want to 
know. You are what I want. I want to spend my life with you too. 
Things may happen in our lives that will change everything, and 
the way we feel about each other. But, that's what makes the 
whole trip so exciting. Right now we want to be with each other, 
and no one can change that but us, OK?"

With a tear in his eye Bill said "Ok, . . .umm. I love you 
Carree"
I looked at him and said, "I know, I love you too", and we both 
smiled and leaned over the table to kiss. It was a real Kodak 
moment.

Bill looked down at the menu for a second and then looked up at 
me. "You know, on Monday when you put my hand on your breast, I 
really knew that all of my dreams about spending my life with you 
would come true. That's how much that meant to me. And don't 
think I haven't wanted to touch you, I have. I was afraid".

"I know", I said. "but you should have been more honest."
"Let me ask you a question", I began as I leaned forward with my 
elbows on the table.
"Do you masturbate thinking about me?"

Shocked by my question, he answered, "No, I don't do that". 
"Now BILLY, let me ask you again, because I think I already know 
the answer that BILL would give if he were going to be honest. 
Do you masturbate thinking about me?"

Bill looked around and said, "Yes I do, this embarrassing me".
 "Well, it shouldn't, Bill, everyone does it. It's natural. I do 
it thinking about you". I revealed.

Bill was bug-eyed at my words. "Those nights when you would rub 
your erection against me got me excited too, you know. I want you 
as much as you want me. But, I should tell you right now; we 
cannot have intercourse, we can't do that. Pregnancy would ruin 
everything. But we can certainly get more intimate than we have 
been, OK".

"Ummm, OK. We wouldn't want to get pregnant, and we need to worry 
about diseases too.", Bill said authoritatively.
"Bill", I countered, "No we don't, as long as we are the only 
people we have been with. We are worry free about that. That is 
why it is so important to have a trusting relationship where we 
are exclusive to each other. If we have sex with another person, 
then it is a problem."

"And now Bill, let's clear the air about things we say to other 
people. What little fantasy of yours had me masturbating you in 
your car, and then me sticking my finger in the cum and tasting 
it, huh?"

Bill was devastated to hear me say that. He wanted to get up and 
walk out. He couldn't look me in the eye. He knew I had him 
trapped in his lie.

"I am so stupid. So stupid sometimes", he began to cry. "Carree, 
I am so, so sorry for saying that and even sorrier that it got 
around".

"Honesty, Bill, honesty", was all I had to say." Don't you know 
how that made me feel? What would be worse would be if it was 
true and you told someone. Things partners do intimately with 
each other is private. If you do share it with anyone, for the 
purpose of getting advice, or just to express personal joy, make 
sure it is someone who you can truly confide in. Not with locker 
buddies. Luckily for me, everyone thinks I'm Sister Carree and 
they believe the other story you told".

"Other story?", Bill asked. 
"You know, that I was frigid", I told him.
"Oh God, I am so stupid", Bill lamented again and began to well 
up again. "Where do you get this stuff?"

"Bill, when couples get intimate, they tell each other things 
they normally wouldn't, I guess. Whoever you said these things 
to, told their girlfriends, and they got back to me. If they 
thought they were true I probably would not have heard them. 
Bill, you hurt me awful to think you would say anything about our 
intimate moments. The only thing that saved you from me wanting 
to not see you again over it is, I was told all guys do it to 
show their machismo. You have to club your prey over the head and 
hang their hide at the cave door. I hope that our relationship is 
deeper than a high school romance played out in the front or back 
seat of a car. I want to have intimate moments with you Bill, but 
they are not for broadcast, OK?"

"Bill, I am not telling you that we are going to make up for lost 
time in our relationship. What I am telling you is that you 
should be honest in your feelings for me. If you want to touch my 
breasts, or anything else, make a move. If I am uncomfortable, 
I'll let you know. Don't be afraid to express yourself to me. I 
am not saying I will like, . . . or  go along with your advances, 
but; We will both be 18 before you know it, grown-ups. We are 
both entering our sexual prime time, and its natural to have 
those feelings. What's not natural is to repress them without 
letting your partner know how you feel. OK?", I lectured.

Bill was still reeling over the fact I knew he had lied to his 
friend or friends. He realized he had done me wrong, probably for 
the first times, and probably the last, too. He had wanted a life 
relationship with me and thought he couldn't get it, because I 
was supposed to follow a vocation. Now, with that lifted and 
seeming agreement from me about the kind of relationship we 
should have, he would be more protective of lives, our private 
moments and us.

The waitress came back and asked if it was a better moment now, 
understanding we had to talk. We smiled and thanked her for the 
few private minutes. Bill hid his face in the menu so she 
couldn't see he had been crying.
We both ordered big Italian pasta dishes and ate them rapidly, 
using our appetites to satisfy some of our frustrations with sex 
and each other. Bill was proud to push my hand back when I went 
to offer to pay part of the check. He said not to worry; he had 
it all taken care of, trying to be dashing. By the time we left 
the restaurant we figured the game must be close to over and if 
we got to the dance afterwards, no one would have missed us. Our 
plan was good as, when we got to the school the game was just 
letting out and the students were milling to the school hall for 
the dance. 

After-Dances stink because they are so short, but it did give us 
some time to mingle with friends and hold each other for a few 
minutes
Being 17, we both had a curfew of midnight. The school encouraged 
that curfew and therefore only allowed school sponsored functions 
to last until 11:15. At 11:10 the lights went up and everyone 
started heading out. Those of us that came as couples seemed to 
straggle the most. Meg and Jim asked us if we wanted to go grab a 
bite and coffee at a local diner, but I think Bill and I were 
looking forward to being alone. If we left now and headed home, 
it gave us a half hour before Bill should deposit me at the door. 
I think my parents knew we parked at the bottom of the hill 
leading up to the house. When Bill pulled in he turned off his 
headlights and let the last streetlight on the city's string 
light our way to a spot where I knew Mom and Dad could see we 
were there, but could not see into the car at all, it WAS a long 
driveway. Whenever we got long out there my Dad always turned on 
the porch light, and that usually was a silent hint that it was 
long enough. Tonight was no different. Bill pulled in and switch 
the lights and killed the engine right away.
"Well", he said, "here is the end of the line young lady. All 
passengers must alight here. But, before you do, why don't you 
give the driver a little kiss?"
"Don't be such a jerk Bill, I don't kiss the bus drivers on the 
first date, um . . its usually the second", I said, smiling at 
his try to be cute (and he was).
"Wow, pretty good", he said as he leaned over and kissed me full 
on the lips, then pecked twice there again, and then wrapped his 
arms round me and hugged and kissed me deeply. After some tongue 
battle he sought to push me back onto the seat.
"Wait a minute Bill, my Dad will turn the light on in 10 minutes, 
do you really want to get all involved and steamy?", I asked.
"I just want to hold you and feel against me Care. I always 
thought I was going to lose you and now. . . " he paused and I 
took the chance to jump in.
"Now, you want to be sure you don't lose me. I know. I'm HERE 
Bill. I'm with you and I want to stay with you. We are an US. I 
love you", I said as I began to tear up.
With that Bill pressed his lips hard against me and I slid back 
and eventually laid on the seat. He pawed my back as he held me 
tight in our kiss. His knee was  right between my legs as I felt 
him put both hands behind me and lift me. He pulled me straight 
up and then back to where I was laying on him as he was propped 
up against his door. I looked down at him and smiled.
"Do I have you where I want you, or do you have me where you want 
me?", he asked.
"It depends", I said pausing to tease, "on what you had in mind."
"I just wanted to feel you against me and see your face lit up by 
the moon and streetlight. You're in the dark when I lay on you 
the other way. You are so pretty tonight, every night, umm. . . 
all the time", Bill said as he pressed his lips to mine and 
pulled me close in a bear hug. In the middle of the hug I felt 
his hand slide down my back to my ass and give my buttock a 
squeeze.
"Wanted to see my face, Huh?" I said as he kneaded my jean clad 
cheek.
"Yup", he said as he pressed his lips to mine and bent up a 
little to put his other hand on my left buttock. He pulled me to 
him as I crushed my breasts against him and reveled in the 
feeling of his hands squeezing and rubbing my ass. There was 
definitely something going on in his pants too. I felt his 
erection push right against my crotch. Our kiss became deeper and 
he began pulling my ass to him in a humping motion.
 I broke the kiss and said "Hold on big fella, you're getting 
yourself, and", I said blushing, "ME. . . all worked up here".
"I know", he said, "but I have wanted to hold your cute butt for 
so long that I couldn't wait any longer. I'm surprised you 
haven't said something about the way I watch you when you walk 
away from me".
A little coquettishly I said, "Gee, I never noticed".
"I bet", he said as he pulled my lips to his face, and my hips to 
his, to continue our grinding kiss.
After a few minutes of this most enjoyable interplay, the big 
sodium light on the front of my porch went on. My Dad was calling 
me in. It was midnight.
 "Damn, Bill. You see?", I said as I pulled myself off him. "All 
worked up with no time. You would think he would go to bed. But, 
he says he can't go to sleep till he knows I'm home safe. Being 
in the driveway is home, but in the house, is what he calls safe, 
I guess".
 Bill sat up and I noticed he had to adjust things a little to 
accommodate driving. It was probably 100 yards from where we were 
parked to my porch. That big sodium light lit up the whole front 
yard. Bill started the car and eased up the drive.
Knowing how hot I was, I knew I was going to get some relief once 
I got in bed. I looked at Bill and said, "think of me later, 
OK?", and I pecked him on the lips, then, without really thinking 
about it I patted him lightly right at the top on his bulge. With 
that, I scooted over and opened the door.
"Goodnight Bill. I'll be thinking of you too", I teased as I let 
him know my intentions as well.
I went to run the couple steps to the stairs and I heard the 
window come down and I turned. "Goodnight Carree, I love you", 
Bill said smiling.
"I love YOU", I said turning and going to the door. The car 
didn't move until I got inside, I knew he was watching my ass as 
I disappeared into the house. My Dad was not around but I saw 
their bedroom light go out under their door just after I switched 
the porch light to the "motion" setting.

This was the first night Bill had really become aggressive in his 
affection toward me and I loved it. I had been worried that he 
was afraid of it or me. I guess all he needed was my green light. 
He certainly got me all hot and bothered in just a few minutes. 
Besides the fact that I really loved him, he was a good-looking 
guy with rugged looks. He was slim, but had an athletic body. . . 
and had a nice butt too. I couldn't really tell how big he was 
"down there", but it seemed large enough from feeling it pressed 
against me. I was unsure if the ones I had seen in Kim's porno 
movie were normal or extra large. All I knew is that I loved to 
think about Bill and how might look standing there before me 
naked.

I went to the bathroom, urinated, stripped down to my panties and 
went across the hall to my room after depositing my clothes in 
the hamper. I took the super large t-shirt from the back of my 
bedroom door, slid it over my head and slipped into bed. Well, 
almost. I stopped as I began to get under the covers to remove my 
panties. They would just be in the way tonight.

I did not aggressively just "do" myself that night. I remember 
laying there thinking about what my sex life with Bill might be. 
I know that straight intercourse was out. I had read about and 
knew too many girls who ended up pregnant using the "safe" 
methods of birth control. The day or two following the end of a 
period should be safe, and doing it during a period should be 
safe, but both of those methods had a failure rate. Being on the 
pill, plus using a condom also had a failure rate. Any risk at 
all was too great. I remember hearing an analogy that said; 
Suppose there were a plane taking off with 300 people on board, 
and they told you that one of the 300 would not be alive when it 
landed, would you get on it? . . . and the answer is "of course 
not". If there were any chance that you might be the one, why 
take it. The same thing applies to risk of pregnancy. I would 
take no chances.
I wondered what it would be like to hold Bill's penis in my hand 
and stroke it for him, how would he use his hands to get me off? 
Would masturbating each other be satisfying? I know that working 
ourselves up in the car and then going home alone to finish the 
job seemed stupid, when we could be "making love" by doing it for 
each other. How about doing ourselves in front of each other. 
Oooo, that sounded sexy. It was about here, at this thought 
juncture that my orgasms took over my thoughts . . . and as I 
panted in the afterglow, I drifted to sleep.

The next thing I knew my Mom was trying to wake me. "Carree, you 
can't sleep all day. It's after 11 o'clock. Megan Parker has 
called for you twice already this morning. Your Dad and I are 
leaving to go to help paint at the Church for a while. I told 
your father you had to study and couldn't go. He thinks you 
should be there. So, don't have too much fun here. We will be 
home by 3 or 4. And, why do you leave your underwear lying around 
on the floor? Carree!! Are you awake?"

"Yes Mother", I groggily answered. " I heard you. I'll call 
Megan. I don't think I'll be going anywhere, and I really might 
study a bit. Thanks for covering for Dad, and I'll pick up my 
room. Bye"

Gee Mom, I thought to myself. Haven't you ever diddled yourself 
to sleep and left your underwear on the floor? My Mom and Dad 
were both still quite attractive, but the way they beat a path to 
the church, it's hard to believe they were as nasty as I had been 
recently, or maybe that's why they did go to church. Trying to 
save themselves.

What did Megan want? I jumped in the shower with the intention of 
calling her as soon as I got out. While showering I began to make 
extra sure my vagina . .  err . .  pussy was extra clean. It 
didn't take much to get off a little before I heard the doorbell 
ringing over and over. I look out the window and from the 
upstairs bath I could see Megans family car in our drive. I 
banged on the window to let her know I knew she was there and 
hoped she figured I was in the shower. 
I did a quick rinse and dry, wrapped a towel around myself and 
went down to let Meg in.
"Your Mom saw me at the gas station and said you were home and 
that I should make sure you were awake.", she said.
"I was just going to call you when I got out of the shower. She 
said you called twice, what's up?", I asked.

With that Meg began crying and said something unintelligible 
about Jimmy.
"What is the matter Meg, calm down and talk to me"

"It's Jimmy. He wants me to go away with him again, and I told 
him that we couldn't fuck anymore. It was too risky. He's tried 
to get me to do it in the car every time we are together, it 
seems. I told him that I love him and I love to do it too, but I 
can't risk getting pregnant. He says I'm a big baby and maybe he 
shouldn't be going out with someone so young", Meg blubbered.

 
"God, Meg, he's only a year older than you, it's not like he's 
25. You can't let him pressure you into sex, that's rape. What 
brought all this on?", I asked.

"I don't know, maybe he just wants to move on. I really thought 
we were special. I gave him my virginity!!" she said with tears 
running down her cheeks. " I thought he was special and would 
love me. Instead he wants to just use me to, to
 . . . get laid, as he says. I think he gets pressure from his 
friends who go away on weekends a lot with their girlfriends. I 
don't know what to dooo" she tearfully said.
"Meg, you have to stand firm with him. If that is all he needs 
you for, you might better move on. I know you don't want to hear 
that, but. . . " I said.
With that I went to sit down when I realized I wasn't dressed. 
"Here, wait for me a second while I get dressed and we can talk 
more, OK?"

I went upstairs and got some clothes on while thinking about her 
dilemma. Jimmy always seemed like he was the best thing for her, 
but now he was being an asshole over sex. I know that they had 
made love twice, but Heidi Stewarts lecture had really made her 
think twice about pre-marital intercourse. I went back downstairs 
to find Meg on the sofa.

"Meg, what if you give in to him, and then he leaves you anyway? 
How stupid would you feel then. Look at Jennifer. Look how she 
got burned when Rob went to college. Jimmy will be away at school 
and you will be here at St Pius. Can you trust him?", I asked.

"Probably not. No trust means no love. That's what really hurts. 
I know there is no way I can stay with him" she said as the water 
works opened again.

"Megan, you HAVE to tell him that. Give him the ultimatum that if 
he can't be trusted if you don't 'come across', maybe you should 
move on", I advised.

"That's what I wanted to do, I guess I just needed a second 
opinion. I should have known it was too perfect, once I gave into 
him the first time. We've done other things together, but he 
wants to go all the way, all the time. I even said that maybe I 
could, you know, do the other thing. Umm. . .  with my mouth? 
He's all for that, but I don't want to do it in a car or off in 
the woods. It seems so tawdry, so whorish. " She said as the 
tears began to flow freely again. "He says if he is going to pay 
for a motel room to get a blowjob, he would just hire a 
prostitute. THAT'S why I know its over".

Meg", I began. "Maybe you should get together and talk. What you 
are saying doesn't sound like Jimmy. Maybe he said some things he 
didn't want to in the heat of the moment. He maybe IS getting 
pressure from his friends to get someone who can go away with 
them on weekends. Meg, if that is the case and he would dump you 
to be on the right side of his friends, he isn't the right guy. 
He needs to grow up".

"Everything you are saying, I know!" Meg said. "I just wanted to 
hear it from someone else". With that Meg fell into me and we 
hugged and I comforted her.

Through her tears she said, "Love and sex are so goddam 
confusing".
 
 Didn't I know that! Bill had me so horny and wanting that I felt 
guilty about my masturbating. I began to feel that I was the only 
person in the world who knew the secret of self abuse, and I was 
abusing it.
"Meg, as long as we are hashing out problems, can I ask you a 
question that is pretty personal?" I asked. "Maybe in your 
emotional state you might want to wait to get into this, I can 
wait."
"NO!" she interrupted. "Please go ahead. I may be a basket case 
right now, but I can always try to help you out, you are like my 
sister"
"I'm glad you feel that way, because I am lost without a real 
one. Anyway. . . if I told you that I was playing solo with 
myself, you know . . like. . . getting off, umm a couple times a 
week or more, would you think I was , I don't know, . . a perv or 
something?",I said without really looking her in the eye.

"God, NO. My sis, Terry, told me once that she Jilled everyday of 
her senior year and right through college", Meg said.

"Jilled?" I asked.

"You know, males Jack off, females Jill off, like Jack and Jill? 
Get the picture? Anyway, I forget how the subject came up, . . . 
Oh, we were talking about stress and dealing with boys and school 
and keeping marks up, the whole deal. Terry said she swore it was 
the great stress reliever. If it makes you feel any less guilty, 
I'm as bad as you. I get a better, rush, I guess is the word, 
alone. Terry said that until you get into getting oral sex, it's 
the best way to ease your stress and put a smile on your face. 
But, I fear the unknown of that whole thing. Geez, Carree, you 
got me doing true confessions here. Jimmy and I play with each 
other sometimes when we park, but he's never tried to  . . . go 
down. He wants to be the macho lover and stick it in me every 
night, but it seems like he's not interested in my needs, just 
getting himself off" Meg confessed.

"You mean", I began, "the times you did it, you weren't 
satisfied. . . you didn't . . ."

"Yeah, I did, but, the first time I was alone afterwards, I 
always finished it. Maybe a more experienced lover would make a 
difference, but learning together is supposed to be fun too. 
Jimmy just wants to put notches on his bedpost, it seems."

"Well", I said, "Bill and I are just beginning to  . . a . . 
experiment a little, and I'm thinking it would be sort of 
exciting to watch each other . . . . do it. He can see what makes 
me happy. I would love to watch him. We've never seen each others 
bodys and I want to make little moments like that special. Megan, 
I really love him, that Bill Wilson. He is so na<ve in some ways, 
but is so focused in others. He knows what he wants to do with 
his life. He's written some great short stories full of 
imagination. He writes term papers like novels as if his life 
depended on them. I read his stuff and he makes me feel shallow, 
and I know I'm not. He devours a couple newspapers a day; he's 
such an information junkie. Yet, I had to put his hand on my 
breast to show him that it was there."  
I paused a long time and then looked at Megan, "I want to get old 
with him Meg. Am I stupid to think that I have found the right 
guy and I'm not out of high school yet?"

"That's a great question, Care. The mere fact you ask it of your 
self tells me that you are aware of the pitfalls in a young 
relationship. Heidi tells me that me, you, Jennifer, Kim, Billy . 
. er . . Bill, sorry, and Brad are the only ones in our class 
that will be 19 when we graduate. Do you think it's a coincidence 
that we are all connected and, I dunno, . . . more mature that 
some of the others? I think each of our parents held us back 
because we were born late in the year. Heidi said there was a 
baby boom amongst Catholics after the Pope issued a new 
encyclical about birth control, I think for New Years. Catholic 
Schools were going to be overcrowded, so our parents had us start 
late to school. Ain't that weird? But, anyway, if you started 
school on time, you would be an 18 year old senior come June. 
But, you'll be 19. There are lots of girls who know the 'right' 
guy by then. So, don't worry about it and go with the flow."

"I guess that's all I can do, right now. I just want to push this 
relationship into a physical stage. It makes me feel kind of 
cheap, in some ways, after all the things our mothers said we 
shouldn't do. But, now you realize they all did the same things, 
probably, when they dated. Too bad we can't ask them for advice 
about what to do.", I said.

Yes, I can see it now, umm, "Mom I happened to see you going down 
on Pop one night. Do you think you can give me some pointers". 
"They tell us that we can ask them anything, but . . .how could 
you ask about sex?"

Just then the phone rang, and it was Bill. His uncle had let him 
out of work early because it was slow. He wanted to stop by and 
take me to lunch. I was feeling peckish, not having had 
breakfast, so I agreed. He would be round in about 5 minutes. As 
soon as I hung up, the phone rang again and it was my Mom, 
reminding me to call Meg. I told her that she was there already. 
She also reminded me to put the Saturday evening dinner in the 
oven at 4:30. They would be later at the church than they 
thought, but would be home to serve dinner by 6 or so. Mom had a 
pot roast with veggies all put together in the fridge.

After hanging up I smiled to Meg and said, "Speak of the devil, 
that's was Bill and he is taking me to lunch. I'd guess to one of 
the finer establishments in our fair city, like McDonalds. His 
uncle let him off early, it's slow."

"Well, I'll just get going then and let the perfect couple have 
the afternoon", Meg said. "Thanks for talking with me and giving 
me a shoulder to cry on".

With that we hugged and I told her be strong and let the Jimmy B 
situation either work itself out, or to cut bait. She really 
loved the guy, but no way should she be railroaded into risky 
sex. I really liked Jimmy and I thought they made a great couple. 
I hope they could work things out.

I had a couple minutes to get ready for lunch with Bill.


Megan let herself out as I ran up the stairs in twos to get 
changed. My hair was dry but I hadn't done a thing with it. I 
spritzed it quick and blew it out to give it a little shape. I 
guessed my jeans were OK, but I needed a better top than my St 
Pius t-shirt. I slipped it off and found my Winter Olympics 
Sweatshirt and put that on. As the fleece inside ran over my 
nipples I was reminded I didn't have bra on. I slipped out of the 
shirt as I was searching for one in my drawer when I thought; 
maybe I can give my Bill a thrill with his lunch today. I slid 
the sweatshirt back on, sans a bra, and went down stairs. Bill 
was pulling up the drive as I hit the bottom step. I was at the 
closet getting a coat when I heard the screen swing open. He 
knocked on the window and I looked to see him smiling at me. I 
hadn't expected him to come in at all, and here he was opening 
the door and letting himself in.

"Hi Bill, aren't you the lucky one, getting off from work early 
on a Saturday", I said.
Yeah, the only big customer I had was the church picking up 
gallons and gallons of paint, plus all the extras. They rented 
scaffold and everything. I had a nice talk with your Mom and Dad. 
They told me that their daughter was home cleaning her room and 
talking to Megan. When my uncle said I could leave early, I don't 
know WHY I thought to call you", Bill said with a goofy grin on.

"William Wilson, did you come over here to take advantage on 
their poor daughter?" I asked as cutely as I could.

Then Bill, turning dead serious said, "I just thought it was a 
nice time to be alone together. I don't mean to be forward, if 
you think I really came here to take advantage of the situation. 
Let's go grab lunch."

"OK, I'm famished," I said and went for the door. 

"Lordy, you must be hungry, You didn't even kiss me hello yet", 
Bill said.

"I kiss better in the car, c'mon let's go", I said as I led the 
way out.

Once in the car, I did lean over and gave Bill a nice smack on 
the lips, then a second, then a third and then a long kiss to say 
a real hello.
He pulled back from me and looked me right square in the eyes as 
if he had the most important thing to say, and said "Hi".
"Hello", I said and kissed him again. "Feed me", and off we went.
 We made small talk on the way to town and no mention was made of 
the previous night until we passed school.
"Your Dad didn't give you hard time last night, did he", Bill 
asked.
 "No, he's just making sure I get home safe", I said.
Bill slowed by the Diner and said," Here?"
I thought for a second and then quickly pointed ahead to 
McDonalds. "No, there, and go to the drive-up, get it to go, and 
we can go back to my house. My empty, parentless house", I said 
with a sly smile.

"You sure, Care, I don't want you to get in trouble", he asked.

"Don't worry, we should be alone for at least a couple hours" I 
said.

In 10 minutes we were driving up the drive to my house with a 
couple burgers and fries and shakes. My mind was off food, 
though, as I thought about what might happen if left alone with 
Bill. I was excited.
We went into the house and were sure to lock front screen, so if 
anyone came they would have to knock. It only locked from the 
inside. It locked by itself if it slammed, so the locking was pre 
alibi-ed. The back was always locked anyway.

We went to the couch and spread the food on the coffee table. We 
ate and talked, but we both had other things on our minds. We 
finished up quick and both made juvenile noises with the straws 
to signal the ends of our shakes. I gathered the empty bags and 
stuff and put them in the basket. I grabbed a couple schoolbooks, 
put them on the dining room table and opened them with a yellow 
pad set aside with a couple pencils. I skewed 2 dining room 
chairs and went back to the living room. "If they come home, go 
right to the dining room table where we are studying, OK?", I 
told Bill. "But, we should be OK until at least 4:30".

"You sure about this, Care?" Bill asked.
 "Hey, I haven't promised anything, so don't make any big 
assumptions", I said, but, I couldn't hide my smile.

I plopped down beside Bill and all of a sudden I felt cheap. 
Something planned didn't have the excitement of something 
spontaneous. I looked at Bill and said, "We're bad, ya know. Last 
night, humping like a couple dogs in heat, getting all worked up. 
Now, all of a sudden I feel like we are here for the sex of it, 
and not for each other"

"Carree, I'm here because I love you and want to be with you. How 
often do I, . . . do WE, get a chance to lay and hold each other. 
How often can I whisper my hopes and dreams for the future with 
you? How often can I just look into your eyes and read them, and 
you mine? Communication is the whole thing. Even going 'all the 
way' is communication. I know, and you know, that really 'doing 
it' is out of the question. There's too many risks with our 
future planning. We have to be able to dictate the paths we take. 
You getting pregnant would dictate too much for us. Don't think 
I'm here to get my first screw, lay, whatever you want to call 
it. Last night when you told me to think about you later? . . . 
THAT was making love. You know how ah . . . umm . . . excited I 
was. I stayed that way until I got into bed. I lay there thinking 
about you. In my mind, I made love to you."

Bills words turned my mood around. I was back to feeling hot 
about the afternoon. Being with Bill.
"Bill, I thought about you, too, ya know. You had me pretty 
excited and I wanted to love you up too. I'm glad we can talk so 
openly about it. Just think of a couple getting themselves all 
worked up, going home and 'doing it' and never making mention of 
it to the other, when the other is the reason they got so worked 
up. We were probably doing it together last night. I thought 
about that as I . . . did it. I have to confess, this morning you 
still had me flustered when I showered and I . . . did it again. 
You must think I'm awful". 

"No, not awful!" Bill said . "That's beautiful that we can 
conjure images of each other and become so excited, don't you 
think? Some guys have to get porno movies or girlie magazines to 
get themselves in such a state. Hell, I did THOSE things before 
we started getting serious about our affections"

I could wait no longer and leaned over and kissed Bill full on 
the mouth, opening it as our lips met. We tangled tongues as he 
pulled me to him and then shifted to where he was pinning me to 
the back of the couch. He brought a knee over and straddled me 
sitting there. My tiny body easily fit between his athletic legs 
as we held the same kiss and he held my face in his hands. He 
pulled away from my lips for a second and said smiling an impish 
smile "Wow, now THIS is a kiss", then turning a serious look he 
added " and you are so, so beautiful". He once again tried to 
devour my face as we returned to swapping tongue lances. He broke 
the kiss and trailed kisses across my face, over my forehead and 
down my neck and to my ears. He was electric and his kisses were 
giving me shocks all the way down to my center. Somewhere in this 
frenzy of kisses one of his hands must have left my face because 
I felt it touching my breast through my sweatshirt. He was gently 
kneading and squeezing me. God, how I wanted him to pinch my 
nipple! Then he did put my nipple, now hard and budded, between 
his thumb and forefinger and rolled it. I reached and put my 
fingers over his and pinched with him, I groaned and he got the 
idea. Then he repeated the same massage with my other breast. I 
was flying now. I wanted him so badly. At that moment I 
understood how accidental pregnancies happened.

"Let me get up", I told him and he swung his knee back to my left 
side. I pushed him back and suddenly I was straddling him sitting 
just above his crotch. I looked down at him and he had such a 
love struck look on his face. I smiled at him, crossed my arms 
and grabbed the bottom of my sweatshirt. I pulled it up and over 
my head, revealing my entire upper body to him for the first 
time. His eyes glued to my breasts.
"Oh my God, you look spectacular" he said before whispering, " My 
God, My God, My God" as he reached for them. He held them in his 
hands like two treasures.
 "You are even more beautiful than I ever imagined Carree" he 
said as his voice broke and tears filled his eyes. I bent over 
and pressed my breasts to his chest and kissed him deeper than I 
ever had. We held that long sucking kiss for a minute or more. 
Then, as I sat back up I must have shifted a little, because when 
I sat up I could feel his hardness against my ass and pussy. I 
tried to be careful not to put all my weight on it. HE brought 
his hands up and cupped my breasts again and then slid his hands 
to their sides while pulling me towards his mouth. He gently 
kissed one nipple, then the other. Then he took the first one 
again and kissed it, then enveloped it in his mouth. Flicking his 
tongue over it. I had no idea this could feel this good and how 
much it affected the sensitive parts between my legs. After fully 
sucking and trying to get the whole breast in his mouth, he did 
the same to the other.

"Oh God Bill, Ohhhhh God" I said as I began to rock on his 
hardness a little. I was cumming. It wasn't a big orgasm, but it 
caught me by surprise. I didn't know I could do that without real 
direct stimulation. I sat up and pulled my breast from his mouth 
and rode the lump in his pants like a jockey at the finish line. 
After 6 or 8 ruts I came again not letting on to Bill I had just 
got off. But, I just had to get up. My panties became bunched 
next to my vulva and the hard cotton of the seam of my jeans was 
rubbing me the wrong way.
 "Oh, Bill" I exclaimed as I unashamedly rubbed my crotch through 
my jeans. "It's so sensitive down there and my jeans are rubbing 
it raw". With that I ran to the bathroom, half embarrassed and 
half because I didn't want to pee my pants. I sat on the john and 
tried to go but the urge passed. Then I wondered about the girl 
in the video, the squirter. Was that what I felt coming on? I let 
the thought pass as I didn't want to ruin Bills moment or mine. I 
slid my panties back up and arranged them between my legs so the 
jeans couldn't rub me. When I returned to the couch, Bill was 
lying in the same position with his hand over the lump in his 
pants. It was then I got the idea.

"Bill, how would you like to watch me" I asked.
 "Watch you what?" he said perhaps a little confused over the 
fact he was rubbing his penis through his pants and didn't seem 
to mind that I saw him.
"Get off, masturbate, Jill off, whatever you want to call it", I 
answered.
"Jill off? "he said, confused.
"You know Jack and Jill. Jack off, Jill off, male, female", I 
said explaining.
"Man, you girls have a whole new vocabulary I will have to learn 
. . . Of course I would like to watch, but can I touch?", he 
asked.
"No, not me, nor yourself, not this time. Just watch and see how 
I do it. Talk to me as I think about you, us" I said. "Then I 
will watch you, how you do it. We can both learn. Wow, is this 
intimate or what? Just talking about it is getting me . . 
.crazy!".

"Let's do it" Bill said sitting up.
Reminding him I said, "Remember, no touching, and believe me I 
would love to have your hands all over me. But just watch and see 
what I do, what I look like. I've wanted this for a while but 
never dreamed we could do it so soon. I would never do it in the 
dark or in a car. I've wanted you to really SEE me the first time 
I am naked in front of you."

With that I had him sit on the arm of the couch looking at me. 
"I'm going to take the rest of my clothes off Bill, and then lay 
down on the sofa. This is a big step for us. Talk to me, OK?"

He just nodded as he glued his eyes to me.

I unbuttoned my jeans and slid down the zipper. I put the palms 
of my hands on my hips, inside my jeans and slid my hands down, 
bringing my jeans off my hips. I reached down and pulled the 
narrow leg part past my calf on each side, and then just stepped 
out of my jeans. I was only in my panties in front of him. I 
turned around to show my ass to him and hooked my fingers in the 
sides of my underwear and slid then down to a puddle of silk on 
the floor.

"My God, Carree" he said with his voice cracking again and his 
eyes welling up. "You are so beautiful, almost like a dream. In 
my wildest fantasies, you were never this beautiful. You are the 
loveliest creature God ever put on the earth"

I was flattered to no end by his words. I flushed and then turned 
a knee and covered my breasts. "Bill, you're embarrassing me"
"There is nothing to be embarrassed about Carree, you are just . 
. . just . . . man, there are no words"
 With that I did a little pirouette and he said, "Stop, oh Lord, 
your backside, your beautiful ass, what a sight. I have dreamed 
of looking at that for a long time, and you know it. I know you 
catch me looking all the time".
 I was totally embarrassed, but flattered by his words. I 
finished my turn and sat on the sofa stretching my legs out as he 
turned and sat perched on the arm looking over me.

I had become more aware of how well put together I was in recent 
months. I always knew, and thought, I was pretty. But, my Mom and 
Megan and some other friends went out of their way to say how 
particularly fine my body was. Now, for once I was very proud of 
the way I looked and the effect it had on Bill. If I could change 
one thing, it would have been to have a bikini trim. I always 
kept my pubic hair trimmed as far down my stomach and abdomen as 
I could, so none would show above bikini panties, but the rest I 
never worried about until bathing suit season. Now with this new 
found 'sex life' I would have to trim more. Kim had told me that 
she shaved it off entirely and it was great. That was something 
to think about.
It also occurred to me that Bill had never even seen me in a 
bikini. Whenever we went to a pool or lake it was always a school 
function or with our families. I wasn't allowed to wear anything 
revealing then. I only wore bikinis to tan or go to my 
girlfriend's pools. He had never seen my body.

I wasn't quite sure how to begin my little show with Bill. I 
decided a narrative might be sexy for him and provoke questions 
from him.
"Bill, when I get home at night from being with you in your car, 
I always feel hot. Your touching and rubbing against me 
stimulates me. Once I begin to get stimulated, this whole area 
(moving both hands in a V over my pussy) gets engorged with 
blood, just like you do. This is my vagina, or I call it my . . . 
pussy. Never the C word, I don't like that. (Bill was watching 
me, first my eyes, then my hands, back and forth.) Then the 
natural lubrication begins to work. My body thinks I am going to 
have intercourse so it provides lots of slippery-ness. It makes 
my pants wet. Bill, YOU make my pants wet. (He was still staring 
but now rubbing his hands up and down the fronts of his thighs 
and rocking a little, back and forth). With the blood rushing to 
that area I am more sensitive and my clitoris becomes more 
pronounced. (I was parting my vaginal entrance to show him my 
clitoris) I call that little bud my clit. I don't have to touch 
that much to get a big reaction from my body. That's what gets 
stimulated during intercourse. It doesn't have to be directly 
touched. Sometimes I just go inside a bit with my finger (now I 
was doing so) without really touching my clit, I can still get a 
big one. But, when I need relief, my clit is what I rub. (I drew 
my fingers up so my clit was between my middle and forefinger) I 
jiggle it between these fingers, Uhhh!, (I drew a quick breath) 
until it gets , Uhhh!, REAL sensitive Uhhh! Then, I press my 
fingers together and ride my clit in the groove between them, 
stroking. Uhhh! Uhhh! Uhhh! Uhhh! Now, I'm getting real close to 
a big orgasm and the nipples on my breasts are hard and need some 
attention. I pinch and squeeze them, Goddddddddd, that feels 
soooo goood! (I drew my knees up as my orgasm built) Now I'm 
drawing my body up getting ready to go over. You always look at 
my ass Bill, do you see it now. With my legs drawn up, Uhhh! 
Uhhh!, you can see the 2 halves, can't you. (Bill was nodding, 
still rubbing his thighs) You can see everything now Bill (I was 
panting furiously) all the most private parts. They're all for 
you,Uhhh! Uhhh! Bill!
ALL!! 
Uhhh! Uhhh! Uhhh! 
FOR!! 
Uhhh! Uhhh! Uhhh! 
YOU!! 
Uhhh! Uhhh! Uhhh!  Uhhhhhhhhhhh!
With that, I went into a little orgasmic convulsion, drawing my 
legs up tight to my chest then stretching them down pointing my 
toes, all without breathing. I assume I was pretty red from 
holding my breath as the orgasm hit me and overtook me. Bill 
looked stunned and concerned as I struggled to breath. My clit 
became so hard and sensitive I could no longer touch it, it was 
electric. I was incredibly wet and little drops of water were on 
my hand (Maybe I had squirted a little) as I brought it up meet 
my other hand cross clasped on my chest as the orgasm ebbed and I 
began to draw air. I vibrated and my legs spasmed straight out 
and up off the couch in 3 rapid-fire jolts. I was still drawing 
the same breath, deep and rasping, and then I let everything go, 
the breath, and all my muscles. I lay there, a limp rag, like a 
washcloth dropped in the shower.
"Ohhhhhh", I exclaimed, "that was awesome. Bill, do you see what 
you do to me?"
Bill was almost catatonic. He was looking at me as if I had just 
had an elephant fly out of my nose.
"Incredible", he said. "Just incredible. No, Wonderful! To see 
you in such ecstasy almost made me, uh . . .you know . . . do it 
in my pants. You really lose it. Did it feel as good as it 
looked?"

"Better", I whispered. "Better because you were here with me. It 
was you touching me, filling me that made me so crazy".
With that, I pulled myself up to a sitting position, Indian style 
in the corner next to the arm of the couch. I reached down and 
grasped my knees with my forearms and pulled myself in a tight 
ball. I knew my pussy and butthole were right out there as Billy 
stared.
 "Now, YOU have some business to take care off before you burst 
out of your pants."
 I sprang to my feet on the couch and stepped off. I gathered my 
clothes and went towards the bathroom.
"I need the bathroom and will get dressed. There should only be 
one of us nude at a time here in case someone comes home. One of 
us can run to the bathroom to dress while the other goes to the 
table to, . . . HA . . . study!"

As I sat on the john I was aware that I was wetter than ever and 
it was different than usual. I really did think I squirted a bit. 
As I remembered, this sort of ejaculation came from a G-spot 
orgasm. I would have to get to the library again. But, I had more 
important things at hand (no pun intended). I wanted to see Bill 
and that beautiful penis I have been imagining.    I wanted to 
see it work. Geez, I was probably going to have get off again 
after his show. Oh well . . .



"Carree!!" Bill called me just as was about to open the bathroom 
door.
 "I'm right here, Bill. Is everything alright?" I said.
"Yes, no ones coming or anything I just thought you would be 
sooner than that", Bill said.
"Oh, I said with a sly grin, "can't wait to put on a show for 
me?"
"No, just nervous as hell. You knew how to push my buttons as 
well as yours. I don't know if I can be as much of a turn on as 
you are".
"You have to be kidding me, Bill", I said. "You will be just 
fine. The reason for this is to see what we do to relieve the 
sexual tensions we raise in each other, and to become better 
acquainted with each others bodies."

All the while throughout this little conversation I was backing 
him into the living room to the back of the sofa. When we reached 
it I fell into his arms and we embraced and kissed, deeply. He 
broke the kiss and held his lips close to my ear. He whispered to 
me, "You are a truly incredible female to have that much passion 
within yourself. To know that it is for me is overwhelming. I 
love you so much."
"Oh, I love you so much too, Bill. Do you think I could ever do 
that with anyone else? We are each other's soul mate. I have been 
so mad at you twice this week, and each time I just needed one 
look at you to ease my anger and look at the situation 
differently. I loved putting on a little show for you. I've 
always wanted to make the first time you saw me 'au natural' to 
be special, and not in a car, or hiding someplace.'
"But, now . . . I want to see you". 
As I finished that sentence I pulled back to look in Bills eyes, 
and he was tearing up once again.
"What is it with you Bill? I've never known you to be so 
emotional. I've seen you cry, or come close to it 4 times in the 
last 2 days", I queried.
With that, the water works opened and Bill spoke through his 
tears. "Carree, please understand how much I love you and how 
helpless I felt knowing I was going to lose you. Seemingly, there 
was nothing I could do about it. Now, in the matter of a few days 
I am living the dream I thought could not possibly come true. I 
used to fantasize about what life would be like when we were 
alone, and maybe someday even married, with children. Those 
fantasies would always crash. Now, they don't seem like fantasies 
and I am full of emotion at that thought. Sorry, but I just love 
you so."

"Bill, don't worry". I said. "I'm here, you are here, and we are 
here. If we work at it, all of our dreams will come true." I said 
as I moved from Bills embrace and went to the spot he occupied 
when I showed him myself.

"Bill, show me how you do it. Show me your body. Show me what I 
do to you", I pleaded with him.

"OK, here goes", he said as he began unbuttoning his shirt. "I 
guess the same rules apply to you, you can't touch me or yourself 
. . . WAIT, you can touch me if you want. It's up to you. Your 
hand might be nice."

With that Bill stripped off his shirt, and then made muscleman 
poses. "Bill", I asked, "are you stalling?"

"No Carree, I've never done this before. If you know a better 
way, maybe you should help", he said.

"Bill, I've never seen a man in the altogether before. Well, in 
pictures I have but . . ." I started but was stopped by the snap 
of Bills jeans being undone. He looked right at me and drew down 
his zipper and said "Well, little lady you're about to see a man 
in the 'altogether' "
With that, his jeans fell to the floor. He stepped out of them 
and turned to me. Did you guess boxers or briefs?"
"Stalling", I said with a little faux irritation implied. 
With that he reached into his boxers to protect himself and 
peeled the waistband past his penis and balls, and then down his 
legs. He stood there for a moment, and I waited for a pose, as I 
looked at his penis, standing at attention before me. He didn't 
pose, but said, "Your pirouette", and turned slowly around.

"You like my ass, Bill. But, you also have a spectacular ass, 
although much harrier than mine", I giggled.

He wiggled his butt effeminately for effect and turned around. 
His penis was erect and standing away from his body.
"How do you walk with those things?", I asked.
"When they are in this state we usually aren't walking. But, if I 
should (he took a few steps) it bobs like a roosters head when 
he's pecking. That's why they call them peckers or cocks. I 
prefer dick or cock. How 'bout you?"

"I usually say penis or dick, not that I spend a lot of time 
talking about them, and . . . uhh, stalling", I said.

"Stop the stalling comments." he laughed. "I'm nervous, and why 
would I stall with this thing hurting more and more?"

With that he sat on the couch and swung his legs up and slouched 
to a lounging position.

"Hurting?", I asked.

"After it's been hard for awhile with no relief it begins to hurt 
from being full of blood and the natural function of the body is 
to send more blood, causing it to ache. That's when I squeeze the 
head here. To relieve that pressure."

He put his hand around the base of if and began to move it up and 
down over the length. His hand covered about three quarters of 
the length; I estimated it was about 8 inches long. It looked big 
and fat to me.

"Why is the skin moving like that", I asked never seeing that 
before.

He looked at me sheepishly, saying "I'm not circumcised, is that 
all right? I have a foreskin. See how it covers the head when I 
stroke it up? When I go soft it slides up and protects it. Cosmo 
says women prefer uncircumcised, men last longer and are more 
sensitive".

"Ummm",I said. "I don't have a preference as you are the first 
man I ever saw. Bill, I love YOU, that makes no difference."

He began to stroke his dick in earnest, groaning every few 
seconds saying how good it felt. Then his slid his hand down to 
hold his ball sack, which appeared to be shrinking.

"What's happening to the sack, it's round and not hanging now", I 
asked.

"Ask questions later, babe, I have concentrate on something", he 
said panting.

"Can I get closer to watch and look? I think your penis . . .or 
DICK is fascinating", I asked.

"Anything you want, just let me go", he said with his face 
flushing while he stroked.

I moved from the arm of our sofa and knelt on the floor and 
watched closely as he stroked. He removed his hand from his balls 
and placed it firmly on the side of his leg. He said I could 
touch, so I reached over and held that sack in my hand. He 
stopped stroking right away.

"What are you DOING babe, c'mon Care, I was just about to blow!!, 
Bill cried out.

"You said I could touch, so I did", I defended myself.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to holler at you, I was just about 
2 or 3 strokes away and you broke my concentration", he said.

"You men sure are strange creatures", I said as I moved my hand 
from his sack to his penis. "Here, let me feel, as long as you 
stopped", I said.
I ran my hand along it length like he did and it felt strange but 
wonderful in my hand. There was a power you could feel in it.
 "Am I doing it right?", I asked.
"Yes, keep going, but I've lost my concentration, now", he said.
"Just keep going and it will come back".

I sped up my stroking and it felt great in my hand. At one point 
he reached down and sort of took over for me closing his eyes.
"Here, let me. I don't want to lose it again", he said.
"Go, baby. Cum for me", was all I could say as I watched.
After another 5 or 6 strokes I spoke out loud a thought I had, "I 
could kiss that, easy. It's such a wonderful part of you".
Bill stopped abruptly.

"Carree, come on. What did you say THAT for", Bill whined.
"Well, I could. It's pretty and a part of you. I always thought I 
would be afraid of oral sex, but . . . " I started before he 
cried out again.

"It's not WHAT you said, it was saying anything that broke my 
concentration. I let you just go off, didn't I? Now, besides 
stopping me, you have me thinking about you kissing me there. How 
much do you think a guy can take? Sit back up there or sit away 
on the floor. No more touching or talking. You wanted to watch 
me, and I want to show you. LET ME"

"OK, Bill I'm sorry. At least now we can never tell our friends 
what our first real fight was about", I said smirking.

 "You are something else Carree, I'm glad YOU can make jokes 
about it", he said chuckling. "Now can I just jerk off in peace? 
. . . Wow, I'll never use that line again".

With that, Bill laid back and closed his eyes and began to stroke 
his dick with uninterrupted resolve. He began to talk in a low 
whisper. "Carree every time I do this I'm thinking of you, and do 
you know what I'm doing to you? I'm pushing my hard dick into 
your pussy. On top of you, behind you, any which way I can 
imagine. I hope that doesn't surprise you.  I would never admit 
it, but you mentioned it already, I even imagine you kissing it, 
sucking it . . .arghh . . ohhhhh Godddd! I imagine you making 
love to me, me making love to you . . . arghh . . .ahhhhh . . .
I'm gonna come!!"
Bill threw his head straight back as far as he could dig it into 
the chairs arm, then thrust his hips up and held his dick tightly 
just below the rim of the head. He held that for a couple seconds 
and then let out a cry as if he had been punched in the stomach. 
A long spray of watery stuff came out and shot over his head and 
hit the arm of my Moms sofa. Then a second shot came out, it 
looked thicker, and hit Bill on the neck. He groaned again and a 
third volley came out, thick, white, and it plopped just above 
his pubic hair. Then he stroked a little more and more semen 
dribbled out the top and over his hand. He made some guttural 
noises, and then did electric shocks, almost like I did. One, 
then two, then a third. Then he collapsed within to the sofa with 
his head back and eyes closed.
"Now, do you see what YOU do to ME", he mumbled in his orgasm-
induced exhaustion.

I was in total awe of the volume and distance he shot. I was 
surprised how much it took out of him. It also made me hot. I 
realized that I had grabbed my jeans right by the crotch and was 
rubbing pretty hard.
"Bill, I know we said no touching ourselves, but I have to go off 
soon. I'm sorry, I'm touching", and saying that I stuck my hand 
down my jeans.

"Hey wait!! I gotta clean up here. If somebody came right now I 
would drip this stuff all the way to the bathroom", Bill reminded 
me.

"SHIT, you're right. Let me get a towel" I said as I ran to the 
bathroom. I grabbed my shower towel from the hamper to leave less 
evidence. When I came back I told Bill it might seem a little 
cold, because it was damp, but it would clean up better that way.
I wiped Bill down from his neck, continually folding the towel to 
get fresh parts of it to clean him up. When I got down to his 
dick, I was dabbing around the base when I noticed it was losing 
its stiffness and the skin was beginning to roll up the head. I 
grabbed it, not knowing or realizing how sensitive it was to him, 
to peel back the skin to wipe the head (and also have an excuse 
to hold it again). He jumped as I held it and another big drop 
oozed from the end. I held him right around the base of the head 
with that big drop of cum gathering there. I thought of the girl 
in the movie and how she gobbled that last drop when she squeezed 
it.
Would I, Could I?  Would Bill freak out! I was quickly losing my 
nerve! I looked him in the eye, and back at his dick. I think he 
knew what I wanted to do. The look on his face was real . . .
I don't know . . . queer. Like he was reading my mind. 
I lost my nerve and wiped it with the towel and before I even 
touched it with the towel I was sorry. As the towel wiped over 
the tip, he jerked again and another drop formed. I dropped my 
mouth to the head of his dick and kissed and sucked off the drop 
and swallowed fast. I gave it a second kiss and sprang to my feet 
and ran to the bathroom with the towel.

I sat on the toilet lid and cried for a second. "He must think 
I'm a whore or a slut to do that. I couldn't help it", I thought 
to myself. Then I realized I could taste a little of what I had 
licked. It was a little bleachy, a little salty and maybe a hint 
of sweetness, hard to tell with so little and maybe my body soap 
on the towel. I was freaking, I might even tell him to leave so I 
didn't have to face him. Then the door opened.

"Carree, are you OK? Don't cry or be embarrassed. That was 
beautiful, what you just did. You must love me a lot. I knew you 
wanted to do that, and I don't know why I knew. Just before you 
wiped the first one, I thought you were going to do that. It was 
like a zzzzzzt zzzzzzt radio signal to my head. It's like we just 
fucked each others minds. Sorry about that word, it's just the 
only one that fits. We communicated at a different level, like 
intercourse".
 I stood up and hugged Bill so hard that I thought I would 
squeeze the breath out of him. "I'm sorry, but I'm glad about it 
Bill. I don't want you to think I'm a slut or a whore", I said.

"Carree" he said tipping my chin up to look at him, "How could I 
think that about you? Remember what you told me once. Nothing 2 
people do together, as long as they both agree on it, is wrong. 
As long as they both agree on it. That was something you wanted 
to do, and I certainly welcomed it".

I cried some more and swung my arm around Bills waist to walk to 
the living room again with him when I realized he still hadn't 
dressed.
"Bill, for Gods sake, get some clothes on, and what time is it? I 
have to put Moms dinner in the oven at 4:30!" I said, a little 
panicked.
 "Gosh, don't worry, it's only a little after 3:00. We have 
plenty of time to get decent." Bill said as he dressed, adding 
"can we just sit and talk and hold each other?."

"That sounds great, Bill. Put your toy away first though", I said 
as he pulled his boxers up over his manhood.

I remembered the first spurt from Bills ejaculation going over 
his head to the arm of the couch and I looked for it to clean up. 
It must have been clear fluid, because I couldn't find any sign 
of it. So I plopped down on the couch and patted the seat beside 
me for Bill.
 "Wait", he said, "Let me go take care of something. I gotta pee 
like crazy now".
 "Wow, thanks for sharing" I said as Bill disappeared down the 
hall to the bathroom.
I threw my head back and thought about the afternoon's events and 
was overwhelmed. We had masturbated in front of each other. I had 
held and stroked his beautiful penis with my hands, and even 
kissed and tasted some semen from it. Was I pushing things too 
fast? Had I let my hormones and over active sex drive take over?
Were we just in love and trying to share everything? It was 
natural to have a wonderment of sex, but we let so much happen 
this afternoon. Then it struck me. We let a lot happen, but we 
had not had risky intercourse, or even tried. That was the one 
thing we promised each other we would avoid. We wouldn't let us 
get pregnant to dictate our futures. We expressed our love and 
took no chances. I was suddenly proud, and felt like we performed 
as responsible adults.

Bill returned from the bathroom and sat next to me. "We did 
good", he said. "We really got off big time and enjoyed each 
other sexually and never even got close to really screwing and 
risking anything happening".

I chuckled and told Bill the same thought had just passed through 
my mind. I told him about all the sexual frustration I had felt 
in the month leading up to today. He reiterated my points and 
emphasized his own frustration in that time. Then he added, "But, 
you know Carree, moments like these will be few and far between 
for us. Being alone where we can do as we want. We will have to 
grab them when we can. We have to come up with a way to spend a 
night together. Wouldn't that be awesome?"

"That would be incredible, Bill. But, I agree these moments will 
be rare. Mom and Dad only paint at the church, or stay away like 
this once in a blue moon. We will have to pick our spots. But I 
really don't want us to have to go home and hide in our rooms 
from each other when we get all . . .excited, by each other. We 
should try to do each other, if we can. It's something we will 
have to work on", I said in awe of the moment. "Now, you have to 
answer some questions I had when you said I kept interrupting 
you. Like, how come your sack was all big and droopy, and then 
got all round and tight, before you exploded?".

 
"I guess the fluid from my sack goes to like another place or 
tube where it picks up that clear stuff to lube its journey. I 
guess it helps it shoot harder and with more power to reach the 
females egg. Remember the body thinks we are doing it to make 
babies. Not, just to get off"

"I KNOW that", I said. "But, getting sexual and feeling good and 
having orgasms is also part of love and expression too. If there 
was a baby for every orgasm we would be a little deep in babies. 
And, I guess you answered the other question I had, about that 
clear stuff. NOW, lets talk about something that was brought up 
and sort of . . . you know . . . happened. Oral sex."

Bill squirmed a little uncomfortably and I sensed it was 
something he didn't ever plan on talking about.

"Don't go limp on this here, Bill. You told me in the heat of 
passion, that you imagined me kissing or sucking it. I know we 
all grow up thinking that it's something only bad girls do, and 
good girls don't. But, I know from reading at the library, 
talking with other girls, especially ones with big sisters and 
even mothers that will talk about it, that oral sex is natural, 
very satisfying, safe and lots of fun. Obviously we are talking 
about you on me, as well as me on you. Now, tell me what you 
think of it, and how you would feel about us doing it to each 
other. I know I'm being forward and forcing you to be honest and 
forthright on the spot without time to alibi yourself. You said 
you fantasized about me doing it".

Bill was flustered by my frank talk. "Yes, I guess every guy 
imagines their girl doing it. It's supposed to feel real good, 
the next best thing to the real thing. The image of a girl with 
a, you know . . . a penis in her mouth is real sexy. And, YES, I 
have thought about doing it to you. You know already that I love 
sucking licking on your breasts. I wanted to lick you all the way 
down your belly right to your, your . . . pussy. It looks so nice 
all pink inside. When you get excited your mound puffs up with 
that pretty little clit sticking out.  I saw it in movies I got 
from my old mans room. When you were opening yourself up today, I 
wanted to dive in. Geez, Carree, how do you get me talking about 
this stuff. This is guy talk."

"No, its not, it's honest lovers talk. Don't you think I have 
some of the same fantasies about you? Is it stupid to make a 
fantasy about your lover come true? I thought that was the reason 
we had sex. IE: communication!!", I said.

"Once again, you ARE right Care. I guess guys are more 
comfortable beating around the bush. Left up to me I suppose I 
would still be trying to get a hand under your bra today", he 
said laughingly.

"Hey", I said. "C'mere", I said as I pulled him to me. I pulled 
his face to mine and said, "I love you" and kissed him deeply. He 
turned his body a little and moved me back to the arm of the sofa 
and laid right on me. We were necking and swapping spit like 2 
horny teenagers again. Our satisfied lusts were re-ignited. In 
the matter of moments he his hands on my breasts and I was 
getting heated up again. My shy little Billy was now aggressive 
Bill, with a little initiative from me. He apparently had spent 
some of his puberty watching dirty movies to gather technique. He 
was making all the right moves now. For the first time, I felt a 
hand snaking down my pants.

"Bill, BILL", I cried out. "I want this as much as you, but I 
don't think we have enough time. I can't do anything to cause my 
parents to not trust me, you or us."

"Care, its only 3:30. If you have to put the roast in at 4:30 and 
they won't be home until after that, we have lots of time." With 
that he buried his face into mine and I felt his hand going into 
my panties and touching my pussy. I was sooo hot.

Bill ran his fingers past my clit and pushed them into my soaking 
pussy ever so tentatively. He did not know what to expect, this 
was his first. Finally I could not stand the teetering on the 
brink of ecstasy and fear. "STOP Bill!!", I said, as I pulled his 
hand from my pants. "I want you so bad but I'm afraid of being 
caught. This is too risky!"

Bill hugged me and tried to allay my fears. "Please don't be 
afraid. Calm down. I don't want my Carree to be afraid".' With 
that, he just hugged me and kept whispering in my ear 
"Everything's OK, Everything's OK, Everything's OK".
I started to cry and I wanted to go wipe my face. I asked Bill to 
let me up and he did. He walked me to the bathroom and wiped my 
tears for me. He was so loving and gentle as he held my face, 
wiping my tears, easing my fears. 
"Hey", he said. "We have a whole lifetime for this. No sense in 
driving ourselves crazy over it, right? I want you to be free and 
easy like you were before when we make love, no matter how or 
when we do it. We have a lot of time in our life's."

"You understand? . . . right?", I said. "I do want to love you 
and let you love me, but how can I relax and enjoy us if I have 
to worry about them coming home?"

"I know, I know, I . . ." Bill started to say but was interrupted 
by the ringing of the phone. I broke our embrace and ran to 
answer it.

"Hi Mom", Bill heard me say, and he left the room so as not to 
make any noise to let on he was there.

Mom asked if I could hold off on dinner for another hour. Instead 
of spending Sunday afternoon painting, they were close enough to 
done to finish today and leave Sunday free. Then she asked if 
Bill was here. I panicked and lied, saying no. "Well,", she said, 
"he may call. His uncle let him out of work early. We just got 
back from his store, we had to get more brushes". 
Quickly, I covered myself. "Oh, he called. He's going to come 
over in a little while and we are going to study together."
"Are you sure that's all", my Mom asked suspiciously.
"Yeah Mom, it's what?, a quarter of 4 now and you were due home 
at 4:30. Like we had BIG plans. We both have Physics lab finals 
Monday and Tuesday. He IS my lab partner. Besides, we're going 
out tonight".
"OK", she said. "Study hard. And don't forget about putting 
dinner in the oven. Turn it on at 5:15 and put it in at 5:30. 
Don't change anything. I have it all set to go".
"OK, Mom, no problem. I have to run. Bill is just getting here 
now," I lied.
We said goodbye and hung up.

"Bill, you better go", I said "I think my Mom is suspicious about 
you being here". "We actually have more time, but I think the 
mood is gone for me now. We're going out tonight. We can have fun 
later, OK?"
"I suppose you ARE right", he said. "We did do a lot today and 
maybe we let our lust get the better of us. I love you Carree and 
I want to be with you all the time. I want to hold you and put my 
mouth all over you, taste you and make love to you, nothing will 
change that, either."
"I know, I want all those things too, but we have time. Time 
tonight, time in our lives." Saying that, I reached around and 
squeezed his butt, saying "Get out of here you bad boy, and make 
sure you shower REAL good and pick me up at 8:00. OK?" I said 
winking at him, "lover?"

"OK, Baby" he said as he gathered his coat and walked to the 
door.
I followed and kissed him hot and deep at he door. "Be a good boy 
and save it all for later, OK?", I said.
He knew what I meant.



Once Billy left I felt like a different person. I felt like a 
woman for the first time in my life. I went into the bathroom to 
pee and when I stood up to pull my jeans up I glanced at the 
full-length mirror on the back of the door and stopped. For the 
first time ever, I saw a sexy woman, with a sexy woman body. 
Instead of pulling up my jeans, I peeled them off, and then 
pulled my sweatshirt over my head. I stood there looking at 
myself. My breasts were perfect. Firm, but with a little gravity 
droop and the nipple perfectly centered and tipped. My waist was 
slim and flat, but not boney. Even my navel was a picture perfect 
inny. My hips flared perfectly to form a nicely shaped lower 
abdomen and when I turned I had a full firm round bottom. I posed 
for myself, proud and sure of myself. I looked at my pubic hair 
and decided to do something about that right now. I checked the 
clock and saw I had over 45 minutes before I had to pre-heat the 
oven. Plenty of time.
I was really afraid to use any shaving cream on my tender parts, 
thinking it might sting or leave irritation or a scent. Afterall, 
who knows, soon someone might be close enough to it to smell or 
see it. I laughed to myself. My new found sexual freedom filled 
me with a confidence.
I grabbed the Nutregena bar and began working up a lather. Then I 
remembered that it might be a little easier if I used scissors to 
cut the large tufts of hair away. So I rinsed my hands and went 
to the kitchen nude to grab the shears. Walking through the house 
naked and free made me feel and more womanly. Back in the 
bathroom I straddled the toilet and let the clippings fall in as 
I snipped away a lot of my pubes. Once I was sure no more could 
be gotten that easily, I went back to lathering the Nutregena 
bar. Once I get a good later up I began dabbing it and rubbing it 
into my crotch. I grabbed a couple new razors and sat on the cold 
edge of the tub. Gently I began losing my blonde bush. As I got 
down to the nitty gritty where I had to hold my lips open and 
posture to get all the hair I began to feel some warm familiar 
feelings. I thought of "jilling" off right on the spot, but I 
asked Bill to save himself for tonight, and I should do the same. 
If we were going to be able to find a private spot to be alone, I 
wanted it to be HOT. I thought about what might happen tonight, 
what possibilities there were. Could he just get his hands in my 
pants and finger and rub me? Should I wear a dress or skirt so I 
could slide it up? We were only going to a movie. A dress? Nah, 
outside of school I ALWAYS wore jeans, except to church. If we 
were going to a dinner or a party, maybe. Would we get a spot 
alone enough for me to take off my jeans? I doubt that. Would I 
have to take them off if he wanted to oral me, well I guess it's 
called 'going down' or 'eating'. Call it what you might, the 
thought of his tongue on me sounded exciting. Would I have to go 
down on him? Have to? Geez, I wouldn't do anything I didn't want 
to. Kissing the head of his penis before was exciting, but the 
thought of trying to put my lips around it and taking it in my 
mouth, I don't know. It looked big, and I didn't think I could do 
anything like the girls in Kim's video. They had it going down 
their throats!! One of the girls just put the head in her mouth 
and jerked the guy off. Could I do that? Did I want to? All of a 
sudden I was getting cold feet on the oral sex bit. If Bill were 
to cum in my mouth the way he came earlier I would surely not be 
able to swallow the volume of it, nor did I really want to revel 
in the taste of it. I didn't really know what it tasted like. A 
drop on my tongue was one thing. A juice glass full of it? . . .
Ewwww!  Suppose it made me want to vomit? But, suppose my passion 
for Bill made me not care about any of this and I would really 
want to swallow everything he shot out. I would play this by ear 
for sure. 
I stood and went to the mirror real close and inspected my shave. 
My Lord, my little slit looked like it did when I was twelve when 
I would take baths and play with things in the tub. I would lie 
on my back in the tub and use my stomach for a stage, with that 
pink split at the end being the 'ramp' where Barbie and Ken would 
run into the water.
I bet when I get aroused it will look really nice. Bill would be 
surprised when he put his hand down there later, if he put his 
hand down there later. God, I hoped so.
My sexy thoughts were broke by the ring of the phone. I ran to 
the living room in the buff again to answer it. It was Megan. 

She wanted to know how my lunch was with Bill, but she changed 
the subject quickly. She asked for no details, I offered none. 
She really called to tell me her plan with Jimmy that night. She 
gathered the rings and personal things he had given her and was 
going to tell him to take everything, if all she was to him was 
"a fuck". She said that everything that was so special and 
personal meant nothing, if all he wanted her for was sex. I asked 
her if she realized she may lose him and get her feelings hurt 
badly tonight. She said she knew, but this was what she wanted. I 
told her to talk to him first about how she felt, before she 
offered the give back. Throwing the stuff in his face from the 
get-go might run him off. She said she knew and had prepared 
herself for anything. If things didn't go well, she wanted to 
talk later. I told her I would be late and she said to call on 
her private number whenever I got home. I told her I would try, 
but not be disappointed if I didn't. She agreed and we hung up. 

I went to the kitchen to find something to hold me till dinner. I 
was a bit peckish. After all, I had "worked" hard that afternoon. 
I saw bananas on the counter hanger and grabbed one. As I peeled 
it I realized the phallic implications of it. It was a fairly 
large fruit, firm and just a day past showing any green. Not as 
big around as Bill on the end, but the rest was close, it seemed. 
Could I get my mouth down over this. Here I was, nude, on the 
sofa, trying to give a banana a blowjob. 
Seriously, putting my mouth around it and slipping a few inches 
in seemed like a good preview of the real thing. It wasn't warm, 
and didn't have that smooth texture, but it was round. I slid it 
in and out of my mouth a few times. Definitely not sexy. Made me 
want to gag. Maybe oral sex was not going to be for me. I ate the 
banana. It was its punishment for leaving me unsatisfied in my 
quest for a penis substitute. I went to the fridge for a drink 
and opened it to see a big kielbasa wrapped in saran wrap on a 
plate. Was I that curious? Sure, but I would leave some 
curiosity's undiscovered. It was the right girth, and had a 
smooth outer skin. It was smooth and it was as fat or fatter than 
Bills penis. I wasn't that sick yet, I thought to myself. But, in 
all seriousness, Bill and I hadn't really promised each other 
oral sex; we just said it was a possibility. I began to cool on 
the thought it might happen tonight, although, I did want to get 
further satisfaction and bring a closure to our earlier 
"playing". We hadn't really finished . . . The wall clock 
striking the quarter hour took me out of my daydream. 
I saw the time and ran to get dressed. I didn't want my parents 
to see me nude, especially with my shaved pussy. I cleaned up all 
the evidence of my shave, got a bra and dressed. I took care of 
dinner, as instructed, and waited for my parents to come back.

I was at the table studying when Mom and Dad got home.
"Billy gone already, Carree?", my mom asked as soon as she walked 
in the door.

"Yes, he only stayed a few minutes, maybe a half hour. We went 
over the labs we were being tested on. We have a study hall 
together on the morning of the tests, so . . . ", I explained.

"I don't like you too being alone together like that, you know", 
my Dad added.

"Well, you better get used to him being around and being alone 
with me, because I think he is the one", I added coyly.

"Carree, you are only a young girl, how would you know who you 
want to spend your life with", my Dad asked.

"I may be a young girl, but I will be 18 in a few weeks. I am not 
stupid and I have an idea of what I might want with my life. Why 
don't we just drop the subject. Before I run off and get married 
I DO plan on finishing High School and College. We have a while 
to worry about that", I said as I started upstairs.

"Young lady, you just make sure you stay out of trouble", my Dad 
added.

I stopped in my tracks and turned to him. "What kind of trouble 
do you mean", I asked him knowingly.

"You know damn well what I mean, getting pregnant and screwing up 
our plans for you. Sitting out at the end of that driveway every 
night will only get you in trouble", he rambled on.

"Daddy", I began, "First of all, I have my own plans for myself, 
but I am sure they run the same direction as yours. Secondly, to 
get pregnant, we would have to be having sex, and we are not 
stupid about how pregnancy can ruin our lives at our age. 
Thirdly, what we do or say at the end of that driveway are 
private moments between us. If you want, we will drive up in 
front of the porch and you can watch to be sure I am a good girl. 
But, you know you raised me to be a good girl. So, have a little 
confidence in me, and my judgment. As I said, I WILL be 18 in a 
few weeks and will be considered an adult. When you look at me, 
don't you see an adult? . . . and Mom, you called him Billy 
before, his name is Bill!!"

"Eighteen does not make you an adult. You will still live under 
this roof and live by my rules", Daddy said.

"I know Daddy. Have I ever done anything to make you unhappy, or 
disrespect you or your 'rules'? I think it might be nice to have 
3 adults living in this house together. We should be able to 
discuss things on an intelligent level with input from all 
sides.", I said.

"OK pumpkin, I think we are all on the same page. I just have a 
hard time not looking at you thinking of you as my little girl. I 
want to protect you."

I came down from the third stair where I was speaking from, and 
kissed my Daddy. "I'll always be your little girl, Daddy. Just 
when you look at me, I don't think you see a little girl anymore. 
I hope you see a woman". 
I turned in my semi-tight jeans and walked up the stairs swaying 
my hips to accent the fact I was a woman. As I turned at the top 
of the banister to go down the hallway I saw that he watched the 
whole show.
"I'm right, aren't I Dad?", I said and smiled.
"Dinner in 5 minutes!", I heard my Mom say as I closed my door.

Talk over dinner was small and mostly about their work at the 
church that day. A little was brought up about school and working 
on college applications. I told them that I had a meeting 
scheduled with my guidance counselor and that closed that door of 
discussion. We touched on Bill for a second, with me reminding 
them that we were going out that night, probably to a movie. I 
didn't think that telling them that we might try oral sex would 
be a good move at this point.

Bill was prompt in calling for me at eight, but instead of 
beeping like he often did, he came to the door. I was in the 
utility room ironing my blouse when I heard him come in.

"Hi Mr. Kasc, is Carree almost ready?", Bill asked.

" Yes she is Billy, err, Bill. She is. We were running a little 
late today. Carree's mother and I were working at the church and 
we ran a little long, so dinner was late."

"No problem sir, I wanted to ask you a question, anyway", I heard 
Bill say and I wondered what it might be.

" There is a new teen night club that just opened in town. A 
friend of mine is in the band that is playing there and he asked 
me to come and hear them. The club is open until 1:00 a.m. and 
the band finishes at 12:45. I know you have always wanted Carree 
home by midnight, but I was wondering if we could stretch that 
tonight. The club is endorsed by both local high school 
principals, and the local police, according to the article in 
todays paper. They all give it a thumb up. You know that for any 
reason, if I thought Carree would be in any trouble or danger I 
either wouldn't bring her there, or would leave with her right 
away. Umm . . . I love your daughter, sir. I would never let 
anything happen to her."

I couldn't believe my ears. Bill talking real talk and words with 
my Dad, and telling him he loved me. He even referenced an 
article in the paper. I knew reading all those darn newspapers 
would pay off. I had just finished ironing my blouse, and stood 
behind the door to drop my robe and slip into it, I didn't want 
to miss a word of this.

"Well, what a coincidence Bill. We love our daughter too. That's 
why we have the curfew, to keep her safe. But, as long as you 
think this place is OK, you kids have a good time. But, STAY OUT 
OF TROUBLE. I don't want the first time I go against my better 
judgment to come around and bite me, OK?"

"Umm, Sir, if it's against your better judgment, maybe we should 
skip it then", Bill said confidently.

"No, Son. You seem to have researched this a little and I will 
trust your judgment. I trust you with my daughter, so I must 
think something of that", my Dad said.

This could not be happening. They were talking like adults. Did 
my little speech and vamp give my Dad an epiphany?

"She's in good hands Sir. I always take good care of her, and her 
me. We're a team. I plan to always take good care of her", Bill 
reiterated sweetly. (I was so proud of him knowing that he didn't 
know I could hear him. His intentions were clear for the future 
of us)

"Billy, you've never given us reason to think you had bad 
judgment, or couldn't be trusted", Dad said.

"Thank You Sir, and a . . . it's Bill, sir. Your daughter sir, 
she thinks it makes me sound more mature, or as mature as I am. I 
will be 18 in a few days. She thinks Billy sounds like a boy. 
I've always hated it. I tried to lose it a long time ago, but 
people insisted on adding the L-Y. Carree has gotten most 
everyone to change it to Bill", Bill stammered.

My Dad leaned close to Bill and made a comment. Later I found out 
he said something like.
 "When you are as pretty as she is, people tend to pay more 
attention" and then he winked at him. 
I'll never figure my Dad out, but I sure do love him. That night 
and forward, he always trusted Bill with me, even though I know 
sometimes he didn't want to, but he told himself we were adults. 

I always think about that night, and it's a kinky thought. It's 
that if Dad knew I had kissed Bills penis and tasted his semen 
that very afternoon in the very spot where he was sitting, he may 
have had the big one, right on the spot.

I came out of the utility room with my freshly ironed blouse on 
and walked through the living room.
"Hi Bill, be ready in a minute" I said as I passed through, but 
Bill walked to me and kissed me 'hello', right on the mouth. "Hi, 
you look great. Your Dad says we can go to that "DanceTeen" club 
downtown tonight. Make sure you bring your school ID. Jerry 
Bennett's band is playing there".

I was a little stunned by his kiss, but I played as if I knew the 
score. "You look nice and smell nice too, Bill. What's Jerry 
calling his band this week? He changes it everyday. I'll be right 
down, Bill. Dad, you're not asking Bill any embarrassing 
questions are you?", I said laughing.

 "No, pumpkin, I'm behaving", my Dad answered as I disappeared up 
the stairs to my room.

I wanted to put a little blush on if we were going out to dance. 
Being blonde and blue-eyed of Polish and Swedish decent I tended 
to be extra white once the summer sun was gone. As I sat at the 
mirror a knock came to the door, it was my Mom.

"Carree dear, can I ask you a question without you getting mad at 
me, a mother-daughter question?" she asked.

"Sure Mom, we can talk as girls" I said smiling.

"When you and Bill have sex you are using dependable birth 
control, aren't you" she said matter of factly.

"MOM! Whatever made you think that Bill and I are having 
intercourse? We most certainly are not. It is a subject we have 
fully discussed and talked about. Getting pregnant could be the 
worst thing that could happen. We will not take chances. We just 
talked about this at the dinner table tonight didn't we?, I said 
a little peeved.

"You didn't exactly say you weren't having intercourse, you said 
that you were not stupid about how pregnancy can ruin our lives 
at your age. I'm not stupid either, Carree", my mom said rather 
smartly as if she had caught me in a lie.

"Mom, whether you believe it or not, I am a virgin. Bill has not 
had sexual intercourse with me, nor has he attempted. Remember 
just a couple weeks ago I told you he thought I was going to be a 
nun? Well . . . do you think he would have tried before with a 
nun? We have talked about sex at great lengths, Mom. We know that 
ANY risk is too much. We love each other too much to jeopardize 
our future lives together." I said to my Mom not really believing 
she thought I used certain words to deceive her. 

"Don't be mad at me Carree, I just want you to be safe when you 
decide to do it. I always have condoms for you to take if you 
want them.", she said.
"Mom, have you heard a word I said?", now even more peeved. "We 
don't plan on doing it. Keep your condoms for you and Dad."

"Carree, I'm sorry for not trusting you or your judgment. I just 
know the pressure there was when I was in school and . . ." my 
Moms voice trailed off. She wanted to say more but stopped 
herself. She hugged me and said, "I didn't always have the best 
friends and certainly anyone as nice as Bill. I didn't meet your 
Dad until college, and he was the first boy who ever respected 
me. Your Dad and I, we talked about you and Bill tonight while 
you were showering and getting ready. We don't like you being so 
serious with a boy, but we think Bill is nice. You are grown up 
and seem to have a good head on your shoulders. Be careful and 
don't let us down."

"Mom, can we talk about this later, I have to go. Just be assured 
that Bill and I have a good grasp in each other's lives, and know 
the consequences of messing up, especially with sex. But Mom, you 
do know, (I paused for an effect, which I got), I love Bill." I 
said. As she nodded I grabbed her arm went out of my room, and we 
walked down the stairs together.

"Hi Mrs Kasc", Bill said as we came down the stairs. "It's easy 
to see where Carree gets her beauty from, you 2 could be twins".
 "Oh my God", Mom said, "She's dating Eddie Haskel"

Bill blushed and said "No, really, the 2 of you look so much 
alike."

"Yeah sure, Eddie", I said. "Lay it on thick for my Mom". I 
rolled my eyes as I walked passed him to kiss my Dad goodnight.

Bill turned and grabbed my hand and we headed to the door. He 
looked right back at my Dad and said. "The band stops at 12:45, 
so we should be back not long after, Goodnight". 

When we got in the car Bill looked at me and said; "Wow, your Dad 
really softened up tonight. What happened?"

"I told them both that we were no longer kids and would be 18 
soon, and were pretty serious about each other. I assured them we 
were not having intercourse and to trust us", I explained.

"They asked you about sex and you told them we weren't doing 
anything? Do you really think they believed that?", Bill asked 
incredulously.

"No, I told them we weren't having intercourse, and had not 
planned to either. I told them I was a virgin and would stay that 
way", I said.

"Whoa, heavy stuff. They must listen to you and trust you though. 
The difference in them was obvious", Bill said.

"You know", I began. "when my Dad called me his little girl, I 
was on the stairs. I turned and asked him if THIS looked like a 
little girl, as I walked up the stairs swaying my hips. You know 
that may have been the first time he ever looked at me as a 
woman, and I think he realized that I was."

"Carree, with your butt, I don't think he could miss", Bill 
chuckled.

"My Mom still has a nice shape, and I think he sees a lot of her 
in me. He acts the macho Dad part, but my Mom really runs the 
show, for the most part. She acts the innocent doting wife, but 
she keeps my Dad in line." I said as Bill slipped the car in gear 
and we went off.

"What do you want to do?", Bill asked. "We could go to a movie 
and then go to the DanceTeen club, or just go to the club and 
wait for the band to start at 9:30. Or, Jerry said we could stop 
at his brothers apartment. It's right around the corner from the 
club. He's living there on the weekend when he plays."

"How about Jerry's brother, does he mind if he has company?", I 
asked.
"No, he works at Mount Snow all weekend as a ski instructor, so 
Jerry has the run of the place. He can't have parties or 
anything, but he said we could stop by", Bill explained.
 
"Well, I'de like to see Jerry if you want to go there first. This 
is the first year I am not in any of his classes, so we just 
usually say hi in the hall and that's it. Plus, I couldn't sit 
through a movie tonight. Umm . . . you are going to get us alone 
sometime tonight too, aren't you. I think we have to talk about 
everything today and . . . you know", I said.

"Yes, I want to be alone for a while too. I wish I knew a good 
place to park NOW, but at 8:30, it's a little tough." Bill said.

We got into town and went down near the urban reconstruction area 
and found the club. They had a big parking lot across the street, 
well lit and everything. Bill said he was worried about going to 
his car late in the dark, but felt better now. There was a four-
story brownstone reconstruction at the end of the block and Bill 
said that was the place Jerry was staying. We parked in the club 
lot and walked to the corner. Bill buzzed Jerry and was let in. 
Inside there were a couple townhouses and 4 apartments. Jerry's 
brother was in an apartment. Jerry was standing at the door as we 
came up the stairs. We hugged and shook hands as he invited us 
in. Two other guys in the band were there and we all sat in the 
kitchen to talk. Jerry was always the class clown all through 
school. He and I were pal-sy wal-sy since the sisters usually put 
him with me on projects in grade school. I was serious and 
wouldn't let him goof off, I guess. But he was always a great 
friend. Once he got interested in playing guitar he got more 
serious about everything. I guess he channeled his goofiness 
elsewhere. Now, he was thinking of going into pre-med if he kept 
his grades up enough to get a scholarship.
We all laughed and had a good time just talking. His band mates 
asked if we were cool, because they had some beer with them. 
Jerry said that we were, and he offered us some, but we did not 
partake. Jerry told them to be sure they didn't smell like beer 
when they went to the club. They each guzzled 2 beers and began 
to gather instrument cases. Jerry said he would see them in a few 
minutes and let them out. With just the three of us Jerry turned 
more serious and talked about school, and making money with the 
band. He spoke about how this club was going to be great for him 
if they kept him on for a while. Then he looked at his watch and 
said he had to get down to finish set up and tune-up.

"Do you guys want to stay here for a bit. Its 9:00 and we don't 
start until, usually 9:45. It's just tuning up and stuff. There's 
soda in the fridge, and a . . . I have the only key." He said 
winking.

"No, we couldn't do that, Jerry. It wouldn't be right. That's not 
why we . . ."Bill started, but I interrupted.

"Why not Bill? A few minutes alone would be the chance we wanted 
to talk", I said. 

Jerry put his hand on Bill's shoulder. "Go ahead. I know what its 
like trying to find a few minutes alone with your girl. I only 
see Julie a couple times during school, (Julie goes to an out of 
state prep school) and I wish I had some of these alone times. No 
one knows you're here but me. We're all old buds and lips are 
zipped. Just lock the door when you leave. Put the chain on and 
set the deadbolt after I go."

 
Bill was quick to say "Jerry, it's not like we're gonna . . . ."
But Jerry interrupted, "I don't care what you do Bill. It's none 
of my business. Enjoy a few minutes together if you want, or 
watch TV. Come on down to the club when you want, your names will 
be on the guest list".

With that, Jerry went to the door. Set the lock, picked up his 
guitar case and left. "You can set the chain and bolt if you 
like", he said as he left.

The door closed and I looked at Bill. "Was this a set-up?"

"No, Carree, I swear. I never knew. Trust me on this", Bill 
defended. 

"Bill, I trust you on everything. I just wanted your word. I have 
it. Chain the door, and I'll feel better", I said.

"Geez, I feel dirty, Care", Bill said.

"Why", I asked, "because you're alone with me? Or because our 
buddy thinks we're going to be screwing like bunnies in a few 
minutes."

"That's it", Bill said. "Too many of our friends are having sex 
and when word of this gets around, they will think we are too".

"Jerry said his lip was zipped. I take him at his word. Besides, 
I can always fall back on the nun routine", I said laughing and 
hugging Bill at the same time. "Lets enjoy a couple minutes 
alone. OK Lover?", I said giving him a squeeze.

We started to kiss and that quickly turned into necking as we 
stood in the foyer of the apartment. I felt a longing between my 
legs begin to build. I definitely had some frustration from 
earlier this afternoon that I wanted to burn off, but Bill broke 
the kiss.

"Do you really want our first time together to be like this? We 
watched each other this afternoon and felt the beauty of the 
intimacy, but this is not like that. I want the first time we 
really do each other to be something we remember as a special 
moment. This isn't it. Don't be mad at me, Care. But if we walk 
in that place in 45 minutes or an hour, Jerry and both of his 
band mates are going to know, or think, we got laid. I love you 
more than that."

Bill almost made me cry. I was letting my passion (read 
horniness) get the best of me. He was thinking of the 'moment' 
and us. He was right and I knew it. If he was patient enough, I 
had to be. This was another reason why this man was so special.

"You're right baby", I said. "Looking back on this wouldn't be as 
much special as tawdry. I just want us to make each other happy. 
Even if it's in the car at the end of my driveway, it's just us 
sharing it. Let's get down to the club before they have a chance 
to think we did something."

Bill made sure the lock was set and closed the door with a click. 
There were lots of others on the streets now milling to get in 
DanceTeen. Couples got in cheaper so I think some were trying to 
find a familiar face to hook up with. The line was short, only 8 
or 10. When we got to the door Bill said, "We are on the guest 
list, Wilson. Bill Wilson."
The bouncer checked his guest list. "I'm going to need a picture 
ID Mr. Wilson".
Bill produced his drivers license and the bouncer looked at him, 
checked the picture, ran it under a blue light and handed it back 
to Bill.
"Go ahead in, let me stamp your hands. You and Mrs. Wilson have a 
good time. Enjoy the band."

Bill grabbed my hand and whisked me inside saying "C'mon Mrs. 
Wilson. You're holding up the line."


We had a good laugh with that the rest of the night. Jerry saw us 
as soon as we got there. He told us the band didn't start for 
another half hour and we could have waited. We just wanted to be 
sure he knew we came right down. We had a great time dancing and 
seeing friends from school. We felt kind of grown up even though 
we were just drinking sodas and virgin mixed drinks. Jerry's band 
was great and the place went wild at the end of each set. We 
impressed some people by the fact that Jerry came over and sat 
with us on each break. To us he was just good ol' Jerry Bennett, 
class clown. To lots of the girls there, he was band meat. Jerry 
said that his girl, Julie, worried about band-chicks picking him 
up. But, he was not interested. Jerry was a great guy.

The band went on for their last set at midnight and we said our 
good-byes to Jerry before he went up. We wanted to leave at 12:30 
or so. Although my Dad didn't really give Bill a curfew, he 
wanted to, at least, be in the driveway before one o'clock.  

The night air was cold when we left and we jogged across the 
street to the car. Bill let me in and I couldn't wait to snuggle 
up to him to get warm. He started the engine and we waited a few 
minutes for it to warm up. We just had a long hug waiting for the 
heat to come up. Bill opened his jacket and let me lie against 
him while he tried to wrap it around me. Once the heat started up 
I sat up so he could drive. As I pushed away from him I felt his 
erection against my elbow. I wished we had a place to go besides 
my driveway.

The drive home seemed short, maybe because we were cold, maybe 
because we couldn't wait to hold each other. Before I knew it, we 
were pulling off the road onto our drive. Bill flicked off the 
lights as soon as he turned and again we were parked just beyond 
the glow of the last streetlight of town. Bill kept the car 
running tonight. This last weekend before Thanksgiving was a cold 
one. Once the car was in park Bill reached for me and we hugged. 
My head was nuzzled into his chest and neck, he whispered "I love 
you" and I held him even closer, if that was possible. 
"We won't see each other much this week, with family stuff and 
the Holiday", Bill said. "We are going to my grandmothers in 
Vermont for a few days. We leave Wednesday after school and come 
back Sunday morning. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too, but family stuff is important. Maybe we can 
get together Sunday afternoon. Maybe we can do some Christmas 
shopping together?" I answered.

"What are you going to do for the week, any plans?", he asked.

"Well", I began. "Megan has passes and gift certificates for 
skiing at the Tyrol in Okemo. We may go up Friday and come back 
Saturday if she can get the car. When Heidi ran the ski trip last 
year, Megan was all paid up, and then couldn't go because it 
ended up being the same weekend as her parent's thirtieth 
anniversary party. So, she has a chalet and 2-day ski pass. Last 
year her mom and dad took us and let us have a chalet together. 
It ended up costing me a couple hundred dollars. My Dad thought I 
was nuts, but it was great. We skied all day and stayed up half 
the night talking. Plus, her Mom and Dad got to be alone in their 
own chalet, so it was a vacation for them too. This year if we go 
on the gift certs and passes it shouldn't cost me even $50, plus 
gas. She wanted to bring Jimmy, but couldn't find a way to do it 
without her parents finding out. Now, they might break up. If 
that happens I will be the crying shoulder for the weekend".

"That doesn't sound like fun, except for the skiing. I can't wait 
to get out this year. I got those new ski's last year and only 
got out once", he said as he turned his face down and twisted to 
kiss me. "But, I have other things in mind right now."

Bill really knew how to push my buttons with his kissing. The way 
he nibbled on my tongue, and covered my lips with his was so 
sexy. This while holding me tightly to him made me nuts. I wanted 
to feel him closer so I broke our clench and knelt up on the seat 
and opened my coat. Now I was the aggressor kissing down on his 
lips but could hold my unjacketed chest to his. The kissing got 
pretty hot and heavy as he reached around me and held my ass, 
squeezing and kneading me. I hummed a moan of approval and he 
continued feeling my butt. I felt his free hand crawl up my 
blouse to feel my breasts. Again I hummed the same moan to let 
him know he was doing just fine. He pulled his hand away from my 
breasts and I felt him pulling my blouse out of the waist of my 
jeans so he could slide his hand up. My bra was a thin one, more 
for sleeping than anything, but it made me feel sexy, almost 
braless. He slid his hands over the slick silky texture and 
pinched each nipple. I was wet as hell. I lifted my head from his 
face and that put his head almost level with my breasts. He put 
both hands on my waist and pushed my blouse up over my bra. He 
reached behind me to unsnap me and I had to show him the front 
clasp. "Oooo, that's handy for me", he said with a smile.
Bill buried his face in my breasts sucking, fondling and 
squeezing them. He really knew how to chew on my nipples just to 
the point of where they hurt and then he would soothe them with a 
nice tonguing. (More technique from porno movies?) I was going to 
worry about the time, but at this point, Dad was going to have to 
come down to the car to get me in the house. I felt one of Bill's 
hands at my belt undoing it and then searching for the snap on my 
jeans. I felt it undo and my zip go down. I had to feel his hands 
on my pussy. Just as he slid his hand down I remembered that I 
had shaved. I dropped my hand to stop his. He looked up at me a 
little panic. "Ready for a little surprise?", I said. 
He looked at me confused. 
"You'll find out", I said as I removed my hand from his. He slid 
down a little more and got underneath my panty. Right away he 
knew what I had done. 
"Ohhh, you are a nasty little girl. Did you do that for me?", he 
said. 
"Who else", I answered. 
"Oh, baby, I wish I could see it, and kiss it" Bill said teasing 
the hell out of me.
"I don't think that can happen tonight, it's a little cold to get 
undressed out here, but that will be for another night, OK?" I 
whispered to him.
Bill dipped his hand to my pussy and traced the whole length, and 
then put his finger on my clit. I was shaking with desire for 
him.
"I've been waiting", I whispered, "I've been waiting for you to 
touch me so intimately, so privately, for so long. I thought you 
were afraid", I said as I shuttered, "or didn't feel the way I 
did. Ughhh Ughhhhh" my voice cracked and lost pitch as I neared 
an early little climax.

"Nooooo, No", he whispered. "You've always been the one. I was 
afraid, but not of the sex. I was afraid of being rejected 
because the whole nun mess, that goddam misunderstanding. Don't 
worry about that now, just enjoy my loving you" he said as his 
hand busied itself on my clit"

"Ughhhh Ughhhh", I reacted to each jolt of my coming orgasm like 
ice being put down my back. It kept building and building and I 
couldn't find the peak "Ughhhh Ughhhh Ughhhh Ughhhh" I continued 
to grunt in Bill's ear as I held my head tightly to his. Then it 
hit me "Ohhhhhhhhhh Ughhhhhhhh", and then I couldn't even draw a 
breath. I spasmed and tried to contort myself away from Bill's 
invading hand. My clit was so sensitive, each touch was like a 
hot poker touching me. But, I couldn't draw a breath, nor could I 
move from this spasmed cramped position. I thought for sure I 
would black out. I was at the top of my orgasm and I couldn't get 
off of it. Then, as I drew a breath so deep it almost burned 
going down my lungs, my climax passed. I was finally able to grab 
Bill's hand through my jeans to stop his assault on my clit. 
"Please, Please, no more Bill, no more, I can't stay conscious 
through another". He took his fingers off my clit and just had 
his middle finger waving back and forth just in between my inner 
lips. It was nice and soothing, but I had to stop him. I was 
crazy from my orgasm and fully satisfied I had it all, and then 
some. I pulled Bill's hand from my pants.
 "Oh God Bill, I can't take one more second of that. It was 
wonderful, God oh so wonderful" I said, as I held him in a death 
grip hug. I breathed in and out of my mouth in his ear until I 
began to get a normal cadence breath. 
"Let me take care of you now, Bill. I'm sure you're as crazy as I 
was. You were hard in the parking lot at the club", I whispered.

"I was watching you dance, that's enough to get anyone excited. 
Knowing I was going to drive you home had me going all night", he 
said.

"Oh Bill, I hope I can make you feel as special as you did me", I 
said as I reached to rub his length through his pants. After a 
couple strokes I reached for his belt and fingered it loose. I 
unsnapped his pants and worked his zipper down.

"Let me raise up and lower these a little, OK? Otherwise I don't 
think I'll have enough room to let it out" he said as he did just 
that.

Once again I said, "Lordy, you men are funny creatures". Then I 
reached into his boxers and pulled them over his erection. I 
didn't have as much light as earlier, but I could see it and it 
was still beautiful. These penis things were new to me, but I 
know that I liked them. Warm and powerful to hold in your hand 
and totally reactive to any touch. Still kneeling on the seat 
with my blouse and pants open, I sat up to fix myself a little. 
"I'm sorry to stop there a second, but I'm cold", I said as I 
resnapped my bra and tucked my blouse into my jeans again. Once 
done with that I returned my right hand to his penis and grabbed 
near the base. The loose foreskin easily sheathed with my hand as 
I began to stroke him up and down. I liked doing this, and to 
hear him hum moans, he did too. I stopped my stroke for a second 
and moved my right hand under his sack and felt his balls roll 
around in my hand. I twisted away from him a little to get my 
left hand in the stroking. He began to moan and breath heavy 
after a couple minutes of this. I was having fun knowing I could 
get him off as much as he did me. Each time I stroked down the 
shiney head glowed in the light from outside. It was beautiful. I 
switched hands again leaving his balls to sit alone so I could 
get a more coordinated rhythm on his dick. I thought about 
earlier in the day when I kissed it. 
I wondered if he wanted the same now. It looked inviting, knowing 
how sensitive he was now and how he showed no mercy on my little 
clit. I didn't know if I really wanted to suck him or kiss him. 
Was this my night for oral sex, even though it couldn't work for 
me, to get undressed in the cold car. Could I take any of his cum 
in my mouth? Would he want or expect me too? I was thinking too 
much and lost my stroke as he let out a long breath. "Don't stop 
like that" he said, "Keep going". Finally the quandary in my head 
just voiced itself. "Oh baby, do you want me to suck or kiss it 
for you, would that help?"

"Oh yeah Carree, but you don't have to do that. I couldn't do it 
for you" he said through heavy breaths.

"I'll make you happy baby" I said as I shifted and lowered my 
head. I just stuck my tongue out a little and let it touch him 
gently and then let my upper lip form a wide kiss on the head. I 
slowed my hand a little to steady his dick so I could keep the 
tip in my kiss. Getting a little more brave, I allowed the whole 
head in my mouth, moving just the head in and out in rapid 
strokes. When I lashed my tongue over the top while doing this 
Bill groaned a deep groan and made guttural noises through his 
open upturned mouth. I bobbed my head a little and allowed maybe 
a inch plus the head in and out of my mouth. The feeling was 
enjoyable feeling the velvet smooth head with my tongue and lips. 
But you could almost feel the hum of the blood coursing through 
his engorged dick. He began to hump at my face a little and I 
knew he was going to explode soon. D-day D-day I said to myself. 
Do I let this come in my mouth and spit it into a napkin? Do I 
let it shoot all over us and hope we can clean it up good enough? 
Do I swallow it and risk getting sick from the feel of its 
unknown full taste and texture. The decision was made for in a 
split second as Bill sucked air and pushed a "Supp Supp Ughhh" 
sound deep from in his throat. A fine watery blast hit the back 
of my throat and I wanted to gag, so I had to swallow that. Then 
2 shots went into my mouth and I didn't know what to do, so I 
held them hoping there wouldn't be much more. Then more and more 
oozed out as he pumped towards my lips. I was sucking naturally 
just to keep him in my mouth with his movements under me. My 
mouth was full!! What should I do?? Bill was reaching down and 
grabbing the side of the seat to have something more to push up 
to me with. To let it run out and down his dick and balls seemed 
gross. I had gotten into this without thinking too much about 
this end of it, or how to end it. I gave up and swallowed, one, 
then two mouthfuls of his cum. I really tasted the second one and 
it was not great, but not so terrible. It was thick, salty, and 
just a trace of sweetness. But, it had a sort of unpleasant 
bleachy aftertaste. As the second mouthful went down I felt more 
oozing from the tip. I upstroked with my hand and felt my mouth 
fill a little again. I swallowed and pulled the head from my 
mouth. I coughed and began to gag a little and then all was fine. 
I kept my head down and swallowed my saliva over and over to 
clear my mouth. He was still oozing a little more and I kissed 
the tip one more time to clean it. I still kept my head down and 
was tying to produce as much saliva as possible to swallow.
"Oh Carree" Bill said, his voice cracking and a cry forming with 
it. "I love you so, so much. That was unbelievable", he said as 
he pulled my head up from his lap. He looked me straight in the 
eye. "I love you", he repeated. I had been trying to not breath 
in his face so he wouldn't smell my bleachy cum breath. But, he 
pulled my face close and kissed me hard giving me his tongue and 
inviting me to give him mine. There were still traces of his cum 
in my mouth and I know we were sharing it, and he didn't care. I 
was glad of that. He wouldn't ask me to taste anything he 
wouldn't. I felt exhilarated in my feat. Imagine sweet little 
Carree, she just gave her man, Bill, a blowjob, and she loved 
herself for it. I didn't like the term 'blowjob', but 'oral love' 
sounded like a textbook. Blowjob was fine, it left no doubt. .She 
could feel his sweet surprise in her belly and they were both 
happy. She hadn't planned it this way, but it happened. She 
smiled big for Bill and said, "I'm glad I was able to do that for 
you. I love to make you happy, and I love to make my special love 
to you with my mouth. Soon we will do it for each other, OK?"
Bill grabbed me and held me tighter than he ever did. "Soon, 
soon", he said. "I want to have you that way too. That was the 
most exciting thing that ever happened to me, and you did it. You 
are so precious, so, so precious".
He sat back and waited for his breathing to return to normal. His 
dick was shrinking and the skin growing over the head.  
"Lets put him away while he still fits back in your pants," I 
said as I pulled his boxers back up over his penis. He lifted his 
butt up and pulled them up the rest of the way. He fiddled with 
his belt and said, "I better get you the rest of the way home, 
huh?" and then he kissed me again and again. He put the car in 
drive and went up the drive. As we got close, the big sodium 
light went on, sensing the movement of Bills car. 
"Goodnight my special lover", I said as I kissed him over and 
over again. "This was the best day of my whole life, Bill", I 
said.

"Same here, Carree. Today I know I am in love for the rest of my 
life", he said.
"I know, Bill, I know", I agreed as I scooted towards the door.
"Call me in the morning as soon as you get up, OK? I already miss 
you and I'm not out of the car yet", I said. Then I got out of 
the car and closed the door. I bent to look in and waved again. 
He smiled and waved back, mouthing "I love you". I strode towards 
the porch waiting to hear his car zoom down the driveway. Instead 
I heard a door open and I turned to find him halfway to the 
porch. 
He grabbed me and picked me up kissing me and spinning me around. 
It was like a corny movie. 
"I just had to come back and kiss you and tell you that I love 
you. I don't want you to forget it", he said.

"Don't worry Bill, I wont. And I have something right here" I 
said as I rubbed my tummy, "to remind me".
 With that I planted my lips to his for another long kiss.
"You better go before we start something else", I said.
He kissed me again and ran to his car, waving as he got in and 
drove away. The clock struck 2:00 a.m. as I walked into the 
house. 
I went to the bathroom and sat on the john to pee. As I wiped 
myself, I realized how sensitive I still was from our play there 
earlier. Getting to sleep in this "after sex" reverie would be 
easy. I felt a little hunger pang because the only thing in my 
stomach was Bills cum, his love. I took a little sip of water to 
wash a stale taste from my mouth and I went to bed. Fully 
satisfied. I was undeniably IN LOVE. IN HOT SEXY LOVE.


 -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  - -

"Carree come on, you have to wake up", I heard my Mom shout, and 
from her tone it was not the first time.

"I'm awake, I'm awake", I said. "What's the matter?"

"Church is the matter. Dad waited to go to eleven o'clock mass 
for you, so you could sleep. It's five after 10. We leave in 40 
minutes and you want to get ready, don't you? Shower and wash?",
she said through the door. Then as she opened it to make sure I 
was awake she continued in a softer voice. "Your Dad said you 
were in the driveway before one last night, and that Bill was a 
man of his word. He doesn't know what time you came in, but he 
says the last time he saw the clock before dozing off it was 
quarter after, so you better say you were in by 20 after of half 
past".

I was a little irritated at being awoken so abruptly, but glad 
they weren't going to nine o'clock Mass like usual. Thank God for 
2 hours extra sleep.

"I don't know what you do in that car for so long every time you 
come home with him", my Mom said, as she made busy raising the 
shades and getting my towels out and such.

"What did you do in cars with your boyfriends, Mother? 
What do you think?", I asked, kind of smarty pants.

She grew stern in her look and lowered her voice even more. "I 
DID what you said you DON'T do in cars with my boyfriends, and 
I'm not proud of it now and that's why I worry about you. I was 
as pretty as you and every guy in the school wanted to go out 
with me. I've said more than I want to here, but I take you at 
your word that no screwing is going on and you are a virgin. 
Don't do anything to make me think you are deceiving me. I told 
MY mother I was a virgin too".

"Come on Mom, lighten up. You've told me more than I want to 
know", I said. "It's really none of anyone's business if I'm a 
virgin or not. But, I told you I was, and if I wasn't, I would 
tell you that too, especially now. Bill and I know the score. We 
spend a lot of time out there because we can be alone together 
and talk and kiss and what have you. Mom, I wouldn't lie to you 
about this. I am a virgin."

"I believe you, honey," she said hugging me. "I'm sorry I get so 
frustrated with this subject. But I wasn't a very good girl in 
high school and I don't want you to be like me. I was easy and no 
boy wanted me for a steady girlfriend. I had to wait for college 
to meet guys who didn't know my reputation."

"Why are you telling me this NOW, Mom?", I asked. "What you did 
then makes no difference to anyone. We all know the real you."

"I just wanted you to know that I know what can go on out there. 
I didn't fall out of the sky a mother. I was a teenager just like 
you. Ohh, we're babbling on here. Get ready for church. Some day 
we'll have a woman to woman on it. OK?" she asked.

"OK, Mom", I said as I hugged her. "Don't worry about me! Bill is 
the best guy in the world and he loves me so much and I love him. 
We have it all together Mom, really."

She smiled and wiped away a tear as she left. After she left I 
panicked a second that she may have seen that I shaved when I got 
out of bed to hug her. However, my giant t-shirt covered me up 
all the way to almost my knees. If this were summer, I may have 
been a dead give away.
I gathered my towel and under things and threw on a robe and went 
to shower. I thought of Bill all through my shower and all 
through church. We were home about 15 minutes, about quarter 
after 12 when the phone rang. I knew it was Bill.

"Hello?", I answered it.

"Hi Lover, how are you today?" Bill asked.

"Fantastic, how about you," I bubbled, to let him know that I was 
still happy about last nights "activities".

"I have one small problem", he said. "I love you a lot more today 
than yesterday," he said making me blush. "I know that sounds 
corny, but its true. Can we get out this afternoon?", he asked.

"I think so", I said. "Let me find out what's going on here and I 
can call you back in a few. My parents like me to check with them 
to see if they had plans. OK?"

"OK, I'll wait for your call. Bye, baby doll" he said and hung 
up.

Mom fixed a quick brunch of hot cereal with berries and pastrys. 
She promised a nice big dinner tonight, around 7:00. With all the 
Holiday activities coming up, she wanted to have one nice meal to 
finish off the week. "I have a prime rib for tonight with all the 
fixings. You can ask Bill if you want", Mom said.

I checked to see if Dad was downstairs from changing and said to 
her in a low voice "I'll ask him, only if you promise not to ask 
him about sex in his car".

Mom looked up from stirring the Cream of Wheat and said, "That is 
not amusing, I only said those things to you to make sure you 
weren't lying to me about that".
It irked me that she had to check to see if I was lying. I never 
lied to her before. She must have told some doozies in her day, 
though, to suspect ME so. My fuse was lit.

Checking once more for Dad I strongly appealed to her. "Mom, you 
told me this morning that you believed me, now I feel you are 
doubting me. Dammit that makes me mad,. . . my own mother!" I 
heard my dad begin to come down the stairs so I had to finish 
quick. I sidled up to Mom with my fists clenched at my side in 
frustration and whispered loudly to her "You're my Mom, I'm your 
daughter. When I say I didn't lie, believe me! I don't lie and I 
don't fuck!"
I stormed out of the room already sorry for what I said. My Dad 
asked what the ruckus was because there was never a raised voice 
in our house. My Mom was stifling tears and told my Dad it was 
something she and I had to work out. She took breakfast off the 
stove and sought me out. I was looking out the picture window 
trying to cool the boil I was on. 
Mom said, "Up to your room right now, so we can talk in private".
I turned on my heel and went up as instructed. She was right 
behind me and closed the door. 
"That word should only be used in passion, not in anger. That was 
the first time it has ever been used in this house in anger and I 
will not have it. I never said you were a liar. I just wanted to 
make sure you weren't holding back the truth to protect me. I am 
wrong to blame you for the fact that I lied to my parents about 
what I did with boys out to all hours. I know that. You have been 
brought up in a Christian household with a Christian education, 2 
things I never had. I would like to think they made an impression 
on you", Mom finished and was flustered and near tears.

"Mom, I'm real sorry to use that word. I can tell you it is the 
second time I have ever said it, and it was in anger. On the 
other thing, I just resent being doubted. I never lied to you or 
Dad and don't suspect I ever will. Of course there are little 
protection deceptions. How else can anyone have a 'private' life? 
But, Mother this isn't one of them. If I was screwing around and 
told you I wasn't, if you cornered me, you know I would tell the 
truth", I responded.

"I'll tell you part of it", she explained. "You've had that look 
of satisfaction that only sex can bring. I won't lie when I tell 
you that I know it well. Your Dad and I are only in our early 
forties. We enjoy the nights when you go out and leave us alone. 
But, I don't want you to be hurt like I was, OK?"

"I understand Mom. Just be careful of your words, that's all. I'm 
honest with you and you accuse me of deception, and it hurts. As 
far as the look of satisfaction", I said smiling, " you are right 
on, and only a good mother who knows her daughter could pick that 
up. But there is no intercourse going on, I swear to you. Mom, I 
really love Bill. He is so special. But, we are adults. Don't 
treat us like kids. Last night you and Dad treated us like adults 
and we thought it was great, to be trusted to stay out beyond 
curfew, on our word. I love you Mom, and never want anything to 
come between us."

"I know you do, but you can't fault me for protecting you. Let's 
go down and eat. Please ask Bill to stay for dinner tonight, if 
he likes. We should get to know him better I guess. Apparently he 
makes you very happy. I won't question you about this again, OK?
I'll cover your Dad. He's putty in my hands," she said smiling.

We went downstairs and Dad was still stirring the cereal.
"Crisis averted Carl, Mother and daughter getting along fine now. 
We just had a little disagreement on 'woman things'" Mom 
explained.
"Glory Be, Silvie, I was afraid it was about sex."

All three of us laughed. Dad thought it was a great idea to 
invite Bill for dinner, and didn't mind if I saw him this 
afternoon. I called Bill and asked him to call for me about half 
past one. He called me sweet names and bid me goodbye. I really 
couldn't wait to hold him and kiss him.

I put on jeans, long sleeve knit shirt and vest to meet Bill when 
he came. I felt really cool and knew it accented my figure. I 
didn't wear a bra and knew it wasn't obvious with the vest 
buttoned up. I felt free and ready to see Bill. When he came to 
the door, my Mom let him in as I walked from the utility room 
where I as ironing tomorrows uniform. I walked right up to him in 
front of both Mom and Dad and put my arm around his neck and 
kissed him.
"What do you think about coming back here for dinner later? My 
Mom is making her specialty, prime rib with horseradish", I asked 
him.
"Wow, that sounds great. We usually do pizza or subs on Sunday 
night at home. My Mom and Dad won't mind, but I'll call them to 
be sure. Do you mind?, he said as he walked to the phone.

Dad motioned to the phone and Bill dialed up and after a few 
words he came back and said "All set. I would be honored to sit 
at your table with Carree".

"Oh, Bill, you're Eddie Haskel again", I said jabbing him.
"No I'm not", he said "I am honored", and he took my arm to walk 
to the door.
 "Bill, have her back by half past six at the latest so you can 
wash up and we can talk, have some appetizers, umm . . . 
beforehand, OK?", my Dad said.

"Sure thing, Mr Kasc" Bill said as we walked out the door.

As soon as we were out the door Bill said, "Geez Carree, don't 
accuse me of laying on thick to them. I want them to trust me, 
and not think I'm some phony or something".

"I'm sure they don't think that", I said. "Plus they know how 
much I love you. I've had to tell them 50 times in the last day. 
They keep asking about parking at the end of the driveway. I told 
them it was private moments for us and that I loved you and we 
were not screwing around. I think I may have gotten through to 
both of them now. Ummm Bill, pull over in Closed for the Season."
(It was an Ice Cream stand that only stayed open from Memorial 
Day to Labor Day, the rest of the year they had a big sign up, 
Closed for the Season)

"Sure, why?" he asked as he pulled in.

 "So I can do this" I said just before I kissed him deeply on the 
lips. I pulled back from him and told him, "Last night was 
absolutely wonderful, the ending to a perfect day. We crossed so 
many bridges yesterday and made up for some lost time, too. The 
whole day with you was things I never really thought I would ever 
do, especially with you. I all but gave up hope for you as a 
lover, really. You were fantastic. Once the day comes when you 
can finally put that beautiful dick inside of me I know it will 
be worth the wait. Until then, we can have lots of moments like 
last night and they can only get better once you do that to me."

"Carree, you are so amazing. How can someone so beautiful, so 
sexy, so smart, love me? All the years we were together were like 
warm ups for the real heat. I've always wanted to do everything 
to you and thought I never could. I love you good because I love 
you so much. And you! You loved me beyond any of my expectations. 
I never thought any woman would ever do that to me. I knew you 
loved me, but that much? Its all a blur", he said losing his 
breath he talked so fast.

"Bill, when your penis was in my mouth I could feel your heart 
beat. It was so special. I never knew it would be so sexy, such a 
turn on. It felt so warm and smooth, like velvet. I wasn't really 
planning on taking your stuff, but it just happened. It was not 
bad to taste, and most of all, it was you. I was so glad it 
happened that way. I could do it again right now", I said.

"Carree, I could taste it on your lips and tongue and I was glad 
I could. If we could find a spot I would love for you to do it 
again. Just talking about it has me hard as a rock. Well, kissing 
you does that. Talking just makes it harder", Bill said as he 
began to breath heavier.

"Bill we won't see each other like this again till next Sunday. I 
would gladly do it again, just to please you. But where can we 
go?", I asked.

"I'll try to think of someplace", Bill said. "If we don't find a 
spot that's private, we'll just have to wait. I want to get my 
tongue into you too, you know."

Bill just talking about putting his tongue in me made me shutter. 
It was the thing he wanted to do as much as I wanted to have him 
in my mouth. I didn't hold out much hope of finding a private 
place in broad daylight. Bill pulled out of Closed for the Season 
and turned back away from town, saying, "I think I know a spot." 
He drove about 2 miles away from town and turned up the road that 
led to his house.

"Bill are you going home?", I asked

"Yeah, I think I have the place all to myself until at least 5 
o'clock. Let me go read Moms note", he said.

"Her note?", I wondered aloud.

He explained, "When I called back home about dinner with you guys 
she said that she and Pop were going to shop at the outlets in 
Massachusetts. But they had to stop at a place near Canaan, on 
the State line, to see some antiques. The guy wouldn't be there 
until half past three, I think. She said she would leave me his 
number in case I needed them for something."

"Oh, this is too good Bill, are you sure?" I wondered aloud.

"Let's just go read the note, OK?" he said.

I've only been to Bills twice before, once for a party and once 
for pictures before a dance where we had to dress up in costume. 
We got there and there was no one home. Bill was an only child 
and his parents' families were from Vermont. So, they wouldn't 
normally have anyone dropping in. Bill pulled up the drive and 
backed to the front of the garage.
"Come on", he said, "lets go check my Moms note".

Sure enough there was a note that she and his dad had left before 
they knew he would be calling. It said "The antique speculator 
from Cannan called an will be home this afternoon after 3:30. We 
are going to the outlets in Lee Mass for a while, and will stop 
in Canaan on the way back. We'll bring dinner home. Here's the 
antiquary's phone number if you need to leave us a message 555-
1234. Love, Mom and Pop"

I looked at Bill and giggled. "Ohh, you have a dirty mind" I 
said. 
"Nahhhh", he exaggerated, "I just love you so much there's 
nothing I won't do to make you happy. Thank God I thought of 
this. Still though, I have to do something to give us a fail-safe 
in case they come home early. . . . Gee, I'm so stupid. We can 
just go to my room over the garage. I go there all the time to 
study and write. If they see my car parked in front of the 
garages with a fire going, they won't even question it."

Bill had told me about his writing room, but I had never seen it. 
We went to the side door and he let me in and he followed after 
me up the stairs, first setting the dead bolt.
 
"You're watching my ass, Bill", I joked knowingly.

"I'm gonna kiss and lick it later", he said catching up to me to 
give it a slap and a squeeze.

His writing room was about 20 by 20 and had a Franklin stove in 
the middle. He had a big Commodore computer that he did his 
writing on there. He called it his super word processor, but I 
thought it was a computer. There were two chairs, TV and a desk, 
as well as a curved seat. Like a chaise lounge, only it was 
inside furniture. There was a small bathroom with only a toilet 
and sink. But, as a study room where he could be alone, it was 
awesome, and for us, it was even better. It was chilly. He said 
there was electric baseboard heat to keep the pipes from 
freezing, but they never turned it up much over 55. The stove 
kept it toasty in the winter, if you had to work there. Bill 
threw a couple logs in the stove and had a fire going in no time. 
I was shivering a little, partly from being cold, part from 
nerves and part from being a little scared.

"He saw me shivering and said "Come here, let me get you warm". 
He pulled the slouch couch (his name, not mine) over near the 
stove and sat, patting the spot next to him for me. We proceeded 
to kiss and neck up a storm as we warmed up and got 'familiar' 
with each other. Eventually Bill had me on my back on the slouch 
couch after taking my coat off, as it had gotten warmer in the 
room, in more ways than one. He was in between my spread legs 
kissing my neck and face when he started unbuttoning my vest. 
Once divested of that he clearly saw my braless nipples through 
my knit shirt. He pinched both nipples and held them between his 
middle and forefingers. He then used his thumb to massage the 
pinched bud. He was making me crazy. I felt him undo my belt and 
then he pulled my shirt up over my breasts. He kept telling me 
over and over again how beautiful my breasts were. For the first 
time he called them 'tits'. I never used that word much because I 
thought it cheapened real ripe breasts like mine. Girls could 
have fake tits, but real breasts. Either name was OK right now. 
They were electrically charged to my pussy, I know that. It was 
more obvious this afternoon, that not having a pubic bush made 
your panties wetter faster. I felt soaked. I wanted him to take 
my pants off, and soon. But, he knew how to tease. He cupped 4 
fingers between my legs and rubbed his thumb over the spot where 
my clit was, rocking his fingers back and forth. He was bathing 
my tits with his tongue and he was making sure no spot was 
missed. After what the tongue bath and nipple chewing had done I 
was nuts with desire, but he remained patient. He trailed kisses 
down my belly to my navel. I swear he tried to lick my back 
through my belly button he drove into it so hard. Finally he 
trailed down to where he had unsnapped my jeans. He took my 
zipper tab between his tongue and upper teeth and pulled it down. 
I wanted to jump up and shed my jeans, but he remained ever the 
tease. He sat back and grabbed my jeans at the hips and coaxed me 
to lift my legs and rolled me up on my back so he could slide 
them off. I had my legs together in the air and he pulled them 
down with my underwear. Now he just had to push them up and off 
my legs so I could put my legs on either side of him. But he 
stopped pushing off my jeans. They were just 6 inches below my 
ass with my legs together in the air and he held me here. He 
pushed his face into my hairless pussy and tongued his way up my 
vulva, which was forced closed by my position, and drilled down 
to my now hidden clit. I was prone and couldn't stop him if I 
wanted to. I started cumming right there making noises and sounds 
I never knew I could make. He pushed my legs back a little more 
turning my butt up even more and he brought his tongue down and 
kissed my butthole, quickly tonguing it. It felt really weird but 
exciting, but it was over before I knew it. He pushed my pants 
the rest of the way up and off my legs. Now I could finally rest 
my legs on either side of his body. He dropped his head to my 
pussy and kissed and licked all around it everywhere, except my 
clit. I was wound tighter than a baseball when he finally waved 
his tongue over my clit. He danced it over my tender bud, 
occasionally nipping at it and then sucking it out and away from 
my body. Finally he held it in one position and flickered his 
tongue over my clit as fast as he could. I jerked up on my elbows 
and thrust out my chest as waves of orgasms hit. One after 
another and I couldn't breath. For sure I was going to pass out. 
I wanted to push his head away but I was paralyzed, vibrating and 
trying to breath. I felt a steam of fluid escape me and must have 
hit him in the face. He never lost a stroke of his tongue and 
finally I was able to shout a loud yelp to signal the top of my 
orgasm. Then, while inhaling for the first time in what seemed 2 
minutes, I came off my elbows and held my breasts as I drew that 
long hard breath. I must have had 3 or 4 small orgasms while I 
drew that breath. I was vibrating and bouncing on that chaise 
like a snake on a hot griddle. In the last 3 days I had orgasms 
so earth shattering that I didn't think they could be topped. 
Anything more intense than this one and I would surely pass out 
or die. I finally had enough coordinated strength to push his 
mouth away from me. "no, No, NOOOO!!"I told him trying to get him 
to stop, but he fought me. He was trying to keep that tongue 
dancing on my clit. He finally gave it up but didn't take it out 
of my pussy. He tried to swallow my lips as he ran his tongue up 
and down the groove. I finally gave up fighting the orgasms and 
sank in to the lounge. He sensed I was through and finally lay 
back a little with his head resting just inches from my pussy. I 
don't know how many times I came, at least 10, but the one orgasm 
must have lasted over a minute. A moment more and I would have 
blacked out. All of the stories about being eaten and how good 
the orgasm was were under-stated. This was beyond description. 
From exhaustion I think I fell asleep right there for a second or 
two. A couple sharp slaps on the hip from Bill brought me back to 
reality. My eyes filled with tears as I smiled at him. He slapped 
my hip again and I realized he was trying to get me to kneel up. 
I rolled over and went to my knees, not sure what he wanted. I 
felt his mouth take big slobbering bites of my ass cheeks. He 
gave them a full bath eventually chewing and working his tongue 
to the top of the split of my butt halves. Using his hands he 
spread them little by little working his tongue down the groove, 
totally bathing me. He reached my little private hole and gently 
whisked his tongue over and over it. Bill had definitely seen 
some good flicks to learn all of this technique. Little did he 
know that was how I knew what to do with his penis in my mouth. A 
tongue in your butthole may be one of the most erotic and strange 
feelings there is. The more he wiped it back and forth the more I 
felt it open up. The more it opened, the more nerve endings he 
found. I buried my face in the couch as I felt another strange 
and different orgasm building. As I began to breath un-even while 
keeping his tongue in my ass, he put one finger in my pussy and 
flicked it like he was trying to reach the back of my clit, from 
the inside. Whatever he touched, I'm guessing it was what I read 
to be the G-spot, I went off quickly with a hard grunt and I know 
I snapped my hips back in his face and I leaked fluid again. I 
could definitely squirt!! Once I got control of myself I crawled 
forward and turned to my hip to disengage him.

"Oh my God, Bill! Oh my God, Bill! Oh my God, Bill! Stop!! I'll 
die with any more!! Where did you learn that!! Oh my God, Bill!" 
I pleaded as I cupped my pussy and asshole with my hand to 
prevent him touching me anymore. He flipped to the floor and 
knelt beside me and brought his face to mine. "I just love you 
and want to make you happy. Umm . . . did you cum", he smiled at 
me knowingly.
"Yes, a little. . . . F U C K,  I came a lot!! I thought my heart 
was going to explode. Where did you learn to do all that stuff? 
What were you in your former life" I facetiously asked.

"I told you I had some of my Dads porno's to keep myself busy 
when I needed to relieve my frustration with you. I watched them 
and jacked off right here on the slouch couch, imagining I was 
with you", he explained.

"Well, you are as good a student here as you are in school" I 
said smiling and panting. "Can I get a drink of water"?
Bill smiled and got up and went to the little bathroom and 
brought me a paper cup of water. I sat up and swung my feet to 
the floor. I was afraid to stand up, feeling a little 
lightheaded. As he stood there I saw the outline of his erection. 
He hadn't even loosened his pants during his marathon with me. He 
had to be hurting.
I reached out and pressed my palm up and down the length of his 
bulge. I looked up at him and smiled. I spread my feet and knees 
so he could stand between them and I hugged the side of my face 
to his bulge, then turned my face and buried my nose in his 
crotch and inhaled deeply, then hugged my other cheek to him. I 
looked up and found the tab on his zipper. I snaked it down and 
reached in his boxers to fish out his dick. This was not going to 
work. I undid his belt and pulled his jeans down just below his 
ass. I carefully pulled the boxer waistband out, down and away 
from his dick. I smiled as it sprang up and said "Hi" to me. 
Without touching, it I put the head in my mouth and hummed along 
with Bill as he moaned approval. I lolled the head in my mouth, 
and it felt so good. It was already an old friend. I tried to get 
a little more in my mouth, but could only manage an inch or so 
past the head. I don't think I was going to be a deep throater. I 
brought my hand up and started to stroke him in rhythm with my 
mouth. I could barely hear Bill's moaning and cheering me on as I 
devoted all my senses to his dick.  Put his hands in my hair and 
was stroking it, then petting my cheek. He was calling my name 
and telling me how beautiful I looked with his cock in my mouth. 
I never heard him say "cock" before, I didn't think. He never 
heard me say fuck before either, so we were even there. He pulled 
my hand away from his dick and held my face a little. He started 
to move his hips a little and I saw he wanted to hump at my face. 
I let him as I held my head still. He was getting more of his 
err. . . cock in my mouth than I felt comfortable with. I pressed 
my hand to his hip to show him he was too deep. He stopped and 
pulled his cock from my mouth.
"Let me get undressed and we can do this right", he said. 
He knew I would be happier being in control and he was right. 
Besides I wanted to kneel over him and inspect him like he 
inspected me. I had a feeling I was going to know his cock pretty 
well.

As Bill undressed and then adjusted the stove I couldn't help but 
think of the changes in both of us in the last few weeks. Two 
frustrated young adults who wanted to explore their sexuality, 
but not with just anyone, with each other. If Bill's uncle hadn't 
invited him to deer camp, my frustration with Bill might have got 
the best of me. I might be out looking for a new boyfriend right 
now. How weird is life?

Bill walked over to the couch and sat down as I stood up. He laid 
back and I knelt between his knees. We necked and kissed for a 
moment and I tasted myself on his face. Normally that smell would 
have grossed me out, but now I associated that with sex. I loved 
the aroma. I splayed my hair on his chest as I kissed and bit at 
his nipples. I was surprised they had some of the same erectile 
qualitys as mine. Again, what strange beings these males were.
I loved his smell as I kissed and licked at his hairy chest. I 
got to his belly button and I had fun with it using my tongue. I 
felt his dick bounce a few times under my breasts and I knew he 
was full of anticipation. I kissed down to his cock and kissed 
around the base and then tried to go lower to his balls. He was 
really hairy there and it was unpleasant for me to do what I saw 
in Kim's video, where the girl sucked them and put them in her 
mouth. I put small kisses around his sack and returned to the 
head of his pretty penis. I grabbed it with my hand and rubbed it 
on my lips and tongue, my eyes glued to his. I closed my eyes as 
I sank my head over his penis. In this position I could get a 
little more in my mouth, maybe the head and 2 or 3 inches, but it 
was not comfortable or sexy for me. I returned my hand to the 
shaft and kept my mouth over the head. I stroked and moved the 
head in and out of my mouth, never really letting the crown out 
past my lips. He began to shutter a bit and he pushed my hand 
away. 
"Just your mouth, just your mouth", he said excitedly.

I hummed loudly and proceeded as he asked. It was pleasant for me 
to do this as I felt him shutter and could feel his heart quicken 
through the head of his dick in my mouth. He was leaking 
something as I began to taste a little bleachy after-taste. I 
knew he was close.
His breathing quickened and his whispered in a guttural voice,
"Do you want me, baby? Do you want my cum? Or do you want to 
watch it spray?". 
I answered by redoubling my effort. I wanted it in my mouth. He 
began to hitch and shutter wildly gripping the sides of the 
couch.
"Here it is Carree", he bellowed and the first shot hit the back 
of my throat. I gagged a little and was afraid of hurting him but 
I suppressed it by swallowing and more warm gelatinous fluid 
filled my mouth, I kept swallowing until I felt no more eruptions 
from him. How he could have produced that much in the 12 or so 
hours from last night was beyond me. It was not terrible tasting, 
but not a taste you would ask for in, say, an ice cream. I liked 
it because it was Bill. Last night when I went to bed knowing 
that my tummy was full of his juices, I was content and happy. It 
sounds silly, but I was. Swallowing his semen was as intimate a 
thing as I could do for him. Intimacy or innermost feelings in 
sexual relations mean the most. I wanted that for Bill.
I kept stroking up on his penis to get any last drops of his 
ejaculation. Doing so was driving him crazy and he finally 
managed to push my mouth and hands away. I wiped my mouth with 
the back of my hand and crawled up and collapsed on his prone 
body. He sought out my mouth and we exchanged tongues and tastes. 
I once thought that a man would never kiss the woman who had oral 
sex with him, and vice-versa. But that is not true in real love 
situations. We reveled in it. After a prolonged kiss I finally 
slid down his side and we spooned on his slouch couch.
"That was awesome", I said as I held him so tightly to me. 
"Everything was awesome, but I have questions, Sweet William".

"Ahh, William. I love hearing that. If I were to choose what 
people would really call me, it would be William. When I write, I 
author as William", he meandered off the subject.
"The questions have to do with your foray on my ass", I said, 
with a little feigned indignity.

He sat up a little and turned to look at me. "That was a little 
spur of the moment. Ahhh . . . I just had to kiss that beautiful 
ass, and I wanted to lick those cheeks. Your butt just turns me 
on so. It's perfect! And, well, when I got to your crack, I 
couldn't help myself. Your little hole was so, so . . .inviting 
and  once I touched it with my tongue you reacted so sexy, I 
couldn't stop myself. You liked it didn't you, especially when I 
found your G-spot. Man, you squirt!! That's supposed to be the 
most intense for a female. They say the nerve endings in the G-
spot and the  . . . rect . . . asshole are shared, or something. 
I've read a lot on sexuality, Dr Kinseys stuff, you know. Couples 
can do it there too, if you prepare and are gentle, a . . ." he 
faded off as he saw me smiling at him.
"You're cute when you get caught with your hand in the cookie 
jar, Bill. I liked it enough, just it was unexpected. Now that's 
intimate. I know about having sex there, it just seems hard to 
imagine. Although, what you did was very exciting. Maybe someday, 
hey, we have a whole lifetime", I said. 

We lay quietly for a few more minutes and Bill finally spoke. 
"This weekend was the most incredible of my life. So many little 
fantasies I had about you, about our love, have come true. One 
thing all of this sex has done is made me want to be inside of 
you more than ever. God, I want to make love to you. To really, 
fuck,  . . . you know. Having sex like we did is great but, it 
makes NOT doing the other seem even harder. If every weekend were 
like this one, we might be nuts in a few weeks".

"I know", I said. "I was thinking the same thing too. Moments 
like these have to be special, not every time we see each other. 
They can't be planned, they just have to happen", I said.

"Umm Carree, do you think someday we will, you know, be married 
and together every night?" Bill asked measuring his words so as 
not to really propose.

"Bill, I hope so. But, you know we have to live through some hard 
years ahead. College. Probably away from each other. We've never 
been out with anyone else, will we still think each other to be 
as exciting after meeting new people?. I can say that I can't 
imagine anyone but you, Bill", I said.

"Same here, Care, its only you I can think of", Bill said. 

"So, now we know what bringing each other to total ecstasy is, in 
a couple different ways. We are familiar and comfortable with 
each others bodies. Now we have to cool our jets a little though, 
Agree?", I said.

"Agree", he said. "Picking our spots for our lovemaking should 
not be taken lightly. Each time should be special. God, I love 
you Carree. Thank you for making this weekend so special."

"God, Bill you made it as special for me. Lets make a pact, that 
we don't do anything like this in the car anymore. Today was too 
beautiful where we could take off our clothes and love each 
others bodies so completely", I said. "Gee, do you think I could 
move in here each weekend?", I asked jokingly.

"I'm not sure, I'll ask, OK?" he played along.
"But", he continued, "Seriously though, this is the only way to 
be with each other; Free and without worry. We know how we feel 
about each other; we don't need to do this every 5 minutes to 
prove it, although it would be nice."

"Yes, I do think this was a weekend to get some things out in the 
open. We really deserved it. I feel so much better about every 
thing. I worried about how sex would be without intercourse, and 
now I know it can be very fulfilling", I said.

Bill flipped over and faced me, then hugged me, then kissed me. 
Next time we have to plan to overnight together" he said, "that 
would be awesome. What would you like to do?" he asked.

"I want to shower with you. To clean and rub and wash, and suck 
here, and wash, and suck there, ooooooooooooooooh! I get chicken 
skin just thinking of it", I said.

"Damn, it's giving me another hard-on", Bill said.

"Ohh, it is raising up and shedding its skin. What should we do 
about that?" I asked teasingly as it got to full mast in no time.

"Just watch me stroke it", Bill said as he grabbed it and began 
pulling on it with earnest. "See what you do to me, Carree"

He was stroking it easily and he was throwing his head back and 
moaning. I wanted to get into the action. I moved my head down 
near his cock and watched it appear and disappear in its skin.

"Ooo Bill, you don't think I'm going to miss a chance to feel 
that in my mouth again do you." I asked.

"God Carree, if I knew you were going to like sucking it this 
much, I would have asked you 2 years ago", Bill said.

"Bill, if those balls were bigger, you might have gotten my mouth 
a lot sooner", I chided. "Although I never thought I would like 
doing this".

"Gonna come" he said and went into his little dance

I put my mouth over the head of his cock and felt his come almost 
immediately. Thee were no shots or volleys of sperm, just an 
oozing flow. I waved my tongue through the flow and then gave his 
dick a hard suck. Bang, that's all he could take. He pushed my 
mouth off and left some running out of the little hole and across 
my chin as I was pushed away. This stuff was really thick and I 
knew I would vomit if I tried to swallow it. I grabbed my water 
cup from before and spit it into it
 "Oh, sorry Care, too sensitive" he said as he writhed in 
pleasure pain.
I laughed at his predicament as I watched the last few drops of 
his cum go over his hands as he rubbed the pain away.
"You men are sure strange creatures", I said, "I couldn't swallow 
that. It was like the stuff you cough out of your throat, real 
thick wads. Yueech!!
But his show had done a little for me too as I rubbed my pussy 
without thinking.

"You want some help with that" Bill said as he flipped over to 
the floor on his knees. He pulled me to the edge of the couch and 
buried his tongue in my pussy. In 30 seconds I was begging for 
mercy, as he had been. I came a couple quick short orgasms and 
pushed him away.
"Gawwwdd, lets get dressed before we kill each other" I said, and 
we did.

Bill watched me get dressed and I know he was getting aroused 
again. I looked down at his dick and then at him, shaking my 
head. He laughed and said it was my fault. I sat back down as he 
got up to dress. He had to stuff his dick in his pants a little, 
but it went away. We were both sensitive in the crotch. Bill 
looked at his watch and said "Wow, five o'clock. Let me seal up 
the stove and we can get going to your house. I am famished."
I told him I was full and had been eating all afternoon. He 
laughed and kissed me.

By a little after five we were in Bills car and headed down the 
back road to get roundabout to my house. He didn't want to cross 
paths with his parents on their way home. We got to my house 
about 5:30 after stopping to get a couple Cokes to wash our 
breath away. Mom and Dad were glad to see us early and they sat 
in the living room with us chit-chatting about bits of 
everything. They asked us both questions about college and 
eventually turned the subject around to us. Mom got up and went 
to get a tray of hors d'oeuvres that the 4 of us wolfed down. 
They asked us "couple" questions and impressed commitment on us. 
How we were young and making long term commitments were going to 
be tough. They were "for" us, as a couple, but thought that such 
a young love would have to be strong to last the upcoming 
formative years of adulthood. 
I wanted to blurt out "Geez, Mom and Dad, I just sucked his dick 
3 times in the last 18 hours, isn't that a strong commitment?"
It was just then that I realized how I cheapened our love. I 
hadn't "sucked his dick", or "given him a blowjob". Whores and 
tramps would do that. I had made love to him, and him to me. I 
could never look at a great looking guy and wish to perform that 
act with no love involved. It was because he was Bill, he was 
special. God, I loved him.

After that thought I pulled Bills knee and brought his leg right 
next to mine on the sofa while Mom and Dad talked. I smiled at 
him and gave him a passionate look and bent a little to hug our 
legs together. For me, in front of my parents, it was a pretty 
intimate move, but I had to do it right then. I smiled at Bill 
and looked to see that my parents took in the whole thing.

My Mom looked uncomfortable, but my Dad said "She sure loves you, 
son. Be sure to take good care of her. She's my pride and joy 
too."

"Don't worry, Mr. and Mrs. Kasc. I'll always take great care of 
her. I couldn't love her more", Bill said as I sat with a tear 
running down my cheek.

"Come on Carree", my Mom said. "Give me a hand in the kitchen and 
we can eat".
 I followed her into the kitchen and she gave me little orders, 
hand me this, put this here, get me the whatever. We were busy in 
the warm kitchen.
 "Why don't you take off that vest Carree, you must be hot", she 
said.

" Mom, I'm not wearing a bra under my shirt, I can't take off my 
vest", I said as I laughed to myself.

"Nothing wrong with being modest, Carree. I'm proud you're like 
that", my Mom said.

I thought of me with my face buried in the slouch couch, my ass 
in the air and Bill with his tongue in my butthole. "Nothing 
wrong with being modest!"

We put dinner on the table and we had a great time. It was a 
great ending to a seminal weekend in our relationship.

Bill and I only had sexual liaisons once more before Christmas, 
and just 2 more times before school got out that June. As hot as 
we were for each other, we feared too much of a good thing. For 
us to be intimate, everything had to be special. No cars or 
backseats. We were selective, and when it happened, it was always 
awesome and incredible.


_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 
 
 


According to Williams outline, this ends Carree Loves Billy. It 
was to be the story of the few weeks that led up to and included 
our sexual awakening with each other. I hope I have done that to 
his liking. His little notes about the things he wanted to 
include were all abided. He has several ideas for other separate 
stories, all true accounts that he remembered as special, and 
hot. I will write all of them some day.

An epilogue is my idea because I think some loose ends should be 
tied and a few things explained. 



_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 



CARREE LOVES BILLY - EPILOGUE


Now comes the part of the story that I dread. I must explain a 
few things.
I kept diaries all through my early school years. As I got closer 
and closer to Billy, they became mainly just about him and the 
things we did together. They evolved into my sex diaries, and  
they became my erotic accounts of Billy and I. After William and 
I married we began to enjoy reading erotic stories to each other. 
It was just a kink. One night I read him a story that I actually 
wrote from my diary. About half way through, he realized it was 
he and I in the story. He was intrigued and wanted to know how I 
had such detail. I confessed, I had the diaries.
He never asked to see them, but let me read different things from 
them, different situations, different times. He was fascinated. 
He said that if I gave him a list, with the timeline, and 
specific events, he would love to ghost write some erotic stories 
with my help. He thought it would be a gas to go online and read 
our own stories to each other. Over a couple months I gave 
finally gave him what he needed. He made an outline on some of 
the stories but wanted to do a long piece about the weeks that 
led up to and included that weekend before Thanksgiving in 1992. 
That was to be "Carree Loves Billy".
I agreed to hand over the diaries and let him read them when we 
started the stories. The only things in them that he didn't 
already "really" know about were, the "blanket party" and 
watching Kim's video. I credit that video as sort of an oral sex 
primer for me, in my diary. I think he thought he taught me 
everything from the movies he snuck from his Dads room. 

Unfortunately, my William never saw those diaries. He was excited 
to write the stories, and he planned on using Billy Hand as his 
non deplume. 
In March of 2001 something happened that neither I, nor anyone 
else, could save him from. William was in the wrong place at the 
wrong time. He went out to get a bottle of wine for the dinner I 
was preparing. On his way home there was a sudden ice shower, 
freezing rain, what have you.  A car, a few hundred yards in 
front of him, went off the road. He slowed down to see if the 
driver was OK. It was a pregnant woman, her car down the ditch. 
She got out OK, but could not climb the bank to the road. Bill 
told her to wait and parked his car on the shoulder. He went down 
the bank to help her get up. They had gotten about half way up 
when another car spun out while braking to rubberneck. William 
was hit hard by the car and was knocked down the bank and pinned 
under the car. The woman was thrown clear. Almost immediately a 
car with 4 men on their way home from work stopped to help. They 
saw William was breathing and they rolled the car off him. He was 
alive, but never regained consciousness. His neck was broken. 
Paramedics took him, on a board, to the hospital where I saw him 
for the last time. William expired with me holding his hand. 
While doctors told me there was little they could do for him, 
they tried. He was going to surgery when he died. There he was, 
looking like he could wake up and talk to me, but he was gone. I 
have cried everyday, as I am now, for 10 months asking "why?" Why 
him, why then? 

I hope our erotic stories show you what a wonderful man, lover 
and husband he was. I had my sexual relationship with my dear 
William for almost 9 years, and for 4 years before that, he was 
my best friend. I am thankful for that. He was a brilliant man 
who was having his dream lived out, by having his first novel 
bought with a nice advance from the publisher. He never finished 
it, but I am taking that task too. I have his outlines for the 
final chapter. It should go to the editor before summer of 2002.

What about me? 
I will be fine over time, but I will never get over Billy, Bill, 
William. I write for travel and vacation magazines and guides. 
Since September 11 work has been sparse, so I had the time to 
work on this project and the novel. 

My looks will keep me in work for some time, as well as my 
writing. I have done some swimsuit ads, and my picture appears in 
many island resort photos of people having fun on the white sand 
beaches. If you have any of those brochures, the blonde in the 
blue bikini might just be me. 
Even this, I have to thank William for. I was always a fair 
skinned, blue-eyed blonde. From the time I was interested in boys 
there was Billy. I never fussed to impress anyone else, to win 
any other guy over. I was just him and me. I never had to spend hours 
in front of a mirror primping. 
When Bill cried the first time he saw me nude, I had to ask him 
why. He told me I was "so beautiful". He made me look at myself 
and really see how blessed I was. When he was writing in college 
(stringing, he called it) for different magazines he began to get 
checks for his work. He bought me nice things so I could dress 
sexy for him. Not cheap, but sexy. Later when I started to travel 
on assignments for resorts he would accompany me at times. Once, 
when I had grown my hair out, we were in Hartsfield International 
in Atlanta. A man in the terminal asked, "May I have your 
autograph Ms. Pfeiffer?". William played along and said, 
"Michelle, sign for this man, but we have to get going". From 
then on he wanted me to play along with him that I was Michelle 
Pfeiffer. When I grew my hair out and got the wave going, I did 
resemble her, but mostly with sunglasses. He loved goofing on 
people like that. But now, thanks to William, I am proud of the 
way that I look. He would see me nude and rush to hold me, not 
sexually, but as his treasure. No man could treat a woman better 
than William. Never once did he treat me as a thing, as his 
property, or as a sexual toy. I was always respected as a woman.

This past summer I went back home to visit my parents, William's 
parents and my old friends that were still around. I had to show 
them I survived. But, in many ways I hadn't. It was like I was 
looking for him. At the Wilson's house I asked to go in the 
"writing room" over the garage. The slouch couch was still there 
as was the desk and the old Commodore computer. After William 
left and got married his Mom kept an index of her antiques on 
that relic. I looked at the slouch couch and cried. Mrs Wilson 
asked me why and I just told her it had a sentiment for me. She 
told me that she had bought it as an antique psychiatrist sofa, 
and later found it was a fraud. She put it in Bills room as a TV 
lounger. I asked to sleep there in that room that night.
She said shaking her head, "Bill isn't here". I told her I knew 
that, but I wanted to feel close to him. When she balked more I 
told her,
"Billy made love to me on that couch quite a few times, including 
the first time. Please let me stay", and I did. 
I dreamed of William that night and even woke up excited like he 
was still alive. Reality hit, but the initial rush was great.

So, soon I'll be back to work. I have 2 assignments for the 
middle of January through February. I have a review of a resort, 
and will supervise a resort magazine that will feature some 
photos of me. Plus, I have to finish Williams's novel. It was 
basically done, but he had editing he wanted to do. He had hand 
written notes on his galleys while flying with me last February.
After that, I will try to restart my life. When I get lonely I 
may write more of our erotic stories. I realize I am writing them 
from my viewpoint and perspective, but, so far, I think he would 
be happy. The only embellishments are to protect real people and 
places. 
I hope you enjoy them and think of the love we expended in living 
them. Knowing people are reading them makes me feel like a part 
of William is still with me. Thanks.

Carree

send comments to stevenisaacgrayson@yahoo.com
Keeper of the Carree Wilson Archive

 











