***This work is complete fiction. None of the characters in this story are real. The events in this story have never happened. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Please send me comments! I want to know what you liked or disliked! paramoe1954@hushmail.com***

Story contains: (t/t, t/b, t/M incest)


Sweet Spot Part Two - Monster

'I am powerless...' That is all I could think as I watched my Aunt Trudy's minivan drive away with the most important person in my life. I watched Sean's young hand pressed to the window as a distant touch in my direction, and I wanted to run after him. I wanted to stop the van and tell everyone how important this little boy was to me. My body wanted to collapse at the end of the dirt driveway and bang my hands on the dirt. My mind wanted to curse the world loudly for forcing me to hide every hurting emotion that wanted to explode out of me. I could do nothing to stop my Aunt from taking Sean away and I had to remain calm and try to control the tears. 

My fists were balled tight, making my knuckles turn white and I was making every effort to slow my breathing. I knew that my face was red and my eyes were wet and I tried my best to conceal my emotional state from my parents, but they were right there. My Dad was saying his farewells to other family, but his eyes followed me more as time went on. My mom seemed to pick up on the fact that something was wrong, but I couldn't do enough to hide my crashing world.

I wanted to at least stay at the curb and watch the minivan until it turned the corner, but too many people were wondering what was wrong with me. Even I was wondering what was wrong with me, to get so mixed in a love that had zero tolerance in other people's eyes. However, above the worry about what other people thought, the idea of Sean's love was still sweet inside me. 

I made my way inside as quickly as I could. I dodged family that was still inside the house and darted up the stairs to the familiarity of my room. My grandparent's luggage was gone and it was an immediate sign that I was in a comforting privacy. I fell forward onto my bed, bouncing  as I hit. My hands found my pillow and pulled it tight against my face, burying a sob that felt like the hurtful cry of a toddler.

My Dad didn't talk to me for a few weeks and I don't think my mom was sure what to make of my display of emotion when the family left. Both parents took their normal positions in circumstances that they didn't like or understand, Dad avoided it completely and Mom acted like everything was fine, hoping it would go away. It was never more obvious that I was on my own in this situation.

I never thought it was possible to be completely changed over night, but I was a different person. I couldn't seem to function the same as I did before Sean came into my life. When I wanted to get away from my Dad to read, I couldn't go to the trailer without having every bit of Sean's naked image brought to the forefront of my mind. When I visited the arcade, I could only stare at the Strategos machine and wonder what Sean would look like as he played and beat everyone in the building. I tried to lose myself in the Pyre Gables books, but they were Sean's favorites. The whole of my surroundings gave me stomach aches as I craved the tiniest bit of Sean in my life.  But I had a whole year to wait until I saw him again and time ticked by so slowly that it felt like the clocks were broken. A whole day felt like a week and a week was like an eternity. 

I had never been attracted to little boys before and I wondered if I had completely lost myself in sexual attraction to children all together. This thought, that I had become some sort of a molester, sent chills through me. I felt my heart rate pick up and a cold sweat began as I contemplated whether this is how men became pedophiles. I shook my head as I told myself that child molesters were creepy people, like my cousin Henry. My cousin was about ten years older than me and I remember being so scared of him because all of the younger cousins were told not to talk to him because he did bad things with kids.  We used to play 'Keep Away from the Monster', the monster being my cousin Henry and I remember him getting angry and yelling at us as we approached him, then ran away in mock fear. At night, I would wonder what 'bad things' my cousin Henry really did to little boys and hope that I would never truly know.

I had to talk myself into knowing that I wasn't a bad person at all. What Sean and I had done together, was mutual and beautiful and could never been something bad. It wasn't like I had strapped the kid to a tree and tortured him or raped him. Torture and rape is what the child molesters did after watching and following kids as they walked home from school, and I wouldn't ever do anything like that.

Things got a little easier in the third week after Sean had gone. I still had the want for Sean in my life, but I was suddenly able to think about things more clearly without going into a gut wrenching longing for my boy. 

It was in that third week that I finally decided to be constructive about the new love that I had experienced. I went straight for the google search engine to look for schools for gifted children in Greenwood New Mexico, but found that the closest schools were a hundred miles away. In my search for more information, I realized how little I actually knew about Sean. I didn't know the boy's last name or even which house he lived in to be a neighbor to my cousins. 

I got a sick feeling with every dead-end that I hit while trying to contact Sean. I was kicking myself in the nuts for not asking if maybe Sean was on the internet or what school he went to, or even just asking 'What's your last name?' In the end, when I exhausted every effort, I added Aunt Trudy as a friend on Facebook, hoping that she was good friends with Sean's mother. Hours were spent going through all two hundred of my Aunt Trudy's friends to see if one friend might be related to Sean. I ran into walls where people had their profiles set to private and I ended up seeing a lot of pictures of my aunt that I wish I had never viewed. In all of my Searching, I only came up with one woman in particular who looked slightly similar to Sean, so I sent a friend request telling her that her son was brilliant. I sat at my the computer in my room, clicking the refresh button over and over, hoping for a message back, but there was no response. 

As I sat in my room, waiting for a friend confirmation that might never come, it occurred to me that Sean might be listed in the archives for Strategos Tournaments at the Universities. I stopped my finger from repeatedly tapping the F5 key and went to a web site for Academic Decathlons. I found a link for the Strategos rankings that went back a good twenty years. I scanned through lists of names, finding  a couple of team Captains named Sean over the years, along with nine other guys with the same name who were Ciphers for various positions within a team. I had assumed that the Strategos tournaments were single player but it appeared that the games were played on a larger scale than just the table top. The lists of teams didn't state ages, but they did mention what school each student was from. I found Two students named Sean and one was too many years ago to be my Sean. The other possible candidate was named Sean Hampton, and I clicked on the name, almost shaking with hope. I watched the screen change to bring up a grid full of stats that I didn't understand. The page only gave information about game performance but there was no age listed or, what I was hoping for, a picture. I let out a frustrated sigh, pushing the keyboard to hit the monitor.

I heard feet clunking up the stairs in the hallway. It sounded like two sets of feet were walking upstairs and I waited, listening for who it could be. Strange as it may sound, my mom and dad were never coming up the stairway at the same time so this caught me off guard. I jumped when I heard a deep thudding of a knock on my door.

"Open up turd-blossom!" I heard a familiar voice say. I was relieved that it wasn't my mom or my dad but I was a little put off by who it really was. It was my friend Jeff, from school. Jeff wasn't gay but he knew that I was, and liked to fool around a lot. We didn't spend every day together, but we were together enough that he would notice that I haven't called or seen him in a month.

I let out a weary sigh as I slid the deadbolt on my door to let him in. Jeff was fifteen, just like me. He had bleach blond hair with green streaks and what always caught me about him was that he had very good skin that I always wanted to kiss on, but never did because it was too gay for him. 

Jeff waltzed past me and plopped himself down on my bed. I was surprised to see his little brother follow him in. Some times Jeff's brother, Craig came along because Jeff had to watch him. I once tried to send Craig downstairs to wait but he was afraid of my Dad and my Mom wanted to know why he couldn't be in the room with us. So Jeff and I pleasured each other while Craig kept busy playing a game on my computer, only a few feet away. Jeff and I always tried to be as quiet as possible, as if Craig couldn't already figure out what the noises were behind his back. I would go through the motions of bringing Jeff to orgasm while listening to the clicking sounds of my computer mouse while Craig tried to ignore us.

I had never really paid much attention to Craig before, but for some reason I saw something different in him as he sat down at my chair in front of the computer. Craig was only eight years old and he had the same great soft skin that his brother had, but I never even talked to him much past few times that he had accompanied his brother into my room. As I examined Craig to see what might be different, I saw that it wasn't something different but something familiar that was catching me. Perhaps it was the youthful vibrancy of the skin of Craig's neck or maybe it was the fair dusting of hair for his eyebrows that reminded me of some one I missed. Craig wasn't a duplicate of Sean or anything, but some of his boy-like features were popping out at me. 

"Hi." I said, looking at Craig.

"Yeah hi." Jeff Said, "Over here!"

Craig immediately swiveled around in my computer chair to face my flat screen. I saw the little kid minimize my facebook page and then open a game called Hog Hopper, which was the only game that Jeff liked Craig to play because you had to keep your eyes on the screen and repeatedly click the mouse to hop. Jeff felt more comfortable getting into our sex play as long as he could hear that his brother was busy.

I turned my head to see the perplexed look on Jeff's face. "Sorry." I said, "How have you been?"

"I haven't even seen you in a month!" Jeff griped, searching my face for reaction.

In the past, I was always the one to call up Jeff and ask to spend time with him. It occurred to me that this was the first time that Jeff had taken it upon himself to come by the house. I wondered if he was here because he wanted to see me or because he wanted to fool around.

"I've been a little busy." I replied, closing my bedroom door. I heard a quiet grunt come from Jeff as his eyes watched me.

"With anyone in particular?" Jeff asked. He tried to act like the answer would mean nothing, but I saw his left hand in a tight grip on his shirt as he waited for my reply.

"Would it matter?" I asked, seeing Jeff's eyes dart away to look at the wall.

As I stood, waiting for an answer from Jeff, I felt his right shoe tap lightly on my shin. I pushed my leg forward slightly to return the touch, feeling my dick grow in my shorts. I glanced at Craig who was peeking over his shoulder and I smiled at him. I looked back down at Jeff who was now massaging his boner through the material of his shorts.

I felt Jeff's free hand grip the hem of my shorts and pull towards him. I let his pull guide me until I was straddling him on the bed. My dick was fully hard and I loved the feel of Jeff's fingers snaking up through the leg of my shorts. My eyes met Craig's little eyes as his older brother's fingers found my hard-on. 

"Keep playing the game!" Jeff barked across the room at Craig.

My computer chair creaked a bit as Craig quickly turned his attention back to the screen. Suddenly Jeff's grip squeezed tighter on my dick, hurting me. My eyes darted back to Jeff, showing him an angry face. 

"The fun is down here." Jeff said, pulling me to lay on top of him.

I always got turned on at the beginning of Jeff's guiding touch, but the excitement lessened when he pushed my head down until his dick was in front of my face. This was always the moment when I cast away all hopes for an emotional connection with Jeff. I stared at the five inch, cut dick that was poking out of Jeff's open zipper and let out a tired sigh. 

I snapped open Jeff's shorts button and then pulled hem to his knees, along with his plaid boxers. I looked at the leaning erection, thinking that it looked too big for what I really wanted. Finally, I did what was expected of me, I opened my mouth and let the head of my friend's penis push to the back of my throat. I felt my own erection shrivel in my shorts and I began a ritual without love. 

I could hear Craig, steadily clicking computer mouse followed by the repeated 'oink' from the hopping pig on the screen. The clicking and the 'oinks' slowed until finally they came to a stop. Jeff was grabbing at my head and pushing his erection into my mouth with  more force now. I glanced to the side to see that Craig was watching me, over his shoulder and I was surprised when my dick began to get hard again. Craig kept his wide and curious eyes on my bobbing head for a minute and then returned to playing the game again. I found myself wishing that the boy would have kept watching my sex play with Jeff and that turned me on even more. 

Jeff's breathing was picking up and he was trying to stifle his moans of pleasure as I sucked on him with more vigor. In the corner of my eye, I could see Craig's head turn to watch the show again. Jeff didn't seem to notice that the sounds of the computer game had stopped.

I positioned my tongue against the bottom of Jeff's shaft and made a tight suck each time he thrust into my mouth. I fought the involuntary gag, letting Jeff's head hit the back of my throat and I let the back part of my tongue massage the Jeff's dickhead. I gave my fifteen year old friend a suck that he would never forget and I knew it was quite a show for Craig as he watched his brother's grunts and the way he grabbed my hair. Jeff didn't pull his dick out of my mouth when he started to cum, I had to take two jets of his cum before pulling off. The last few squirts laid warm streams across my cheek as I held my tongue out, running it along the bottom part of Jeff's shaft. I had never heard my friend groan through his teeth with such vigor before and I had certainly never felt him shudder the way he was. As the waves of pleasure lessened, Jeff pressed my face against his slow grinding hard-on. I licked up the remaining cum on his dick and caressed his balls into my mouth as he relaxed his muscles and eased back down on the bed.

My eyes glanced sideways to see Craig's watchful eyes as I carefully rolled his older brothers balls inside my mouth.

Jeff's legs spread apart slightly. "What the fuck was that, dude?" Jeff panted while trying to catch his breath. "That was goddamn amazing."

"Rest up." I said, after rolling his balls out of my mouth. "I want to do it again in a few minutes." I added.

I felt the bed shake as Jeff let out a silent chuckle. "That was such a hot cum. My dick is tired."

My lips gently kissed along Jeff's wilting dick, sucking in loose skin. "What about your little brother?" I asked.

Jeff's head raised up to look at me with an exhausted and perplexed face, "What about him?"

I glanced at Craig, sitting patiently on my swivel chair with clasped hands cupped over his little crotch. I turned back to Jeff, "He always sits and waits while I get you off." I let my tongue swirl around on the head of Jeff's dick. I felt Jeff's hands lightly grasp my head, pulling my head off a little. "Maybe your little brother wants to know what its like to feel good, like big brother." I said.

The bed shook again when Jeff shrugged his shoulders saying, "I guess."

I looked at Craig and said, "What do ya say Craig? You want to try it?"

Craig's eyes grew wider and he quickly looked to Jeff for a response. Jeff's eyes were careful, looking from me to his little brother.

"Sure." Jeff said in a tired sigh, "Whatever."

I raised myself, away from Jeff's crotch and patted the empty space on the bed next to Jeff. Craig stood up from the chair, walking over on shaky legs. Craig never took his eyes off of his older brother's watchful face, taking care to be sure that it was alright. Before sitting down on the edge of the bed, Craig looked at me and I smiled. Craig didn't return my smile but glanced back to see his older brother laying flat on my bed with his arm over his eyes.

I scooted on the floor kneeling in front of Craig so that his knees were at my stomach. The young boy looked into my eyes and gulped.

"We'll only do this if you want to." I said, attempting to show a comforting smile.

Craig nodded his head in response, and then laid back on my bed. Jeff didn't seem to want to pay any attention, still keeping his arm over his eyes. Jeff's shorts were still pulled to his knees and his cut  five inch dick remained half hard.

I gently took hold of both of Craig's hands and removed them from covering his crotch. A smile grew on my face when I saw that the little guy had a tiny bulge that made a tent in his shorts. I caught Craig's red faced smile beaming at me and I matched his grin. Before setting the boy's soft little hands at his sides I caressed the them a bit, and then moved to the waistband of his gold colored basketball shorts. I placed the tips of my fingers under the elastic of his shorts and saw Craig's smile fade to a more serious expression as he watched my hands. I lifted the shorts away from his abdomen a bit and slowly guided the material lower, giving him time to stop me if he wanted. There were no objections from the eight year old who was now breathing a bit harder as I guided his shorts down his legs until they draped loosely over his knees. I tried to meet his eyes with a reassuring grin but I'm sure  it appeared to be a nervous gesture. My hands found the young boy's hips and I ran my hands upward, catching his shirt in my thumbs and exposing the soft skin of his tummy. I scooted forward a bit and leaned over until my nose was touching just above his belly button. I pressed my nostrils against the silky smooth skin of his abdomen taking in a scent that brought in a clear memory of my night with Sean. I exhaled a shaky breath and inhaled again, feeling the exhilarating rush of crystal clear memories.

I felt Craig's giggling belly button against my breathing and I let out a giggle of my own, tracing my mouth lower on him. My chin dragged along his stomach, passing the waistband of his white briefs and resting on the tiny hard-on. I rolled my chin back and forth on his erection, feeling his hips push forward against the stimulation.

"Feel good?" I asked.

But there was no verbal reply from Craig. I looked across his abdomen to see his mouth open and eyes half closed in ecstasy. I pushed my chin against his miniature boner, rolling the shaft harder and faster. I heard him exhale quickly and felt his left hand land lightly on the back of my head. I moved my mouth, chin and nose all over the pole that pushed the material of his briefs. I was taking in the scent of a young boy's genitals and that also brought back some memories if sucking on the tiniest cock I've ever sucked on. I suddenly hungered for the taste of youthful skin in my mouth and grabbed a fistful for Craig's underwear, quickly pulling his briefs down to join his shorts.

I stopped for a second, surprised to see Craig's skin covered head. My eyes glanced sideways at Jeff's half hard erection that was circumcised. I lowered my head to get a closer look at the soft and vibrant skin that covered the head of the eight year old's penis. I breathed in the scent of the smooth boy flesh and said, "You got to keep your skin."

I grinned and saw Craig nod in response. His little stomach was moving up and down as he breathed harder. I brought my attention back to the tiny hood of his dick, letting my nose breathe against it briefly as I made my way to explore lower.

I sucked in a quick breath as I saw, the spot between this boys legs that I loved to kiss and tickle. It was the sweet spot of skin between the butt crack and the ball sack. I took hold of the boy's undies and shorts, pulling them all the way off to fall to the floor. I spread the two legs in front of me and swiftly dove in to lap up the soft skin just under Craig's balls. My tongue worked against flesh, kissing and licking like a hungry pup. I heard an audible intake of air from Craig and I was surprised when he opened his legs wider instead of closing his legs like Sean did. I held both of Craig's legs in my hands,  caressing his thighs while I ate out his sweet spot. I breathed in and licked him up while I heard small moans of pleasure and felt his little butt cheeks twitch against my chin.

My right hand found its way to the smooth skin of Craig's uncut little pee pee. I worked my fingers against the bright youthful skin of the tiny boy dick and saw Craig's eyes on me again.

"Do you like that?" I asked.

Craig nodded, pushing his hips upward and into my moving fingers.

"See?" I said, "This is what your brother and I do for each other. Feels great huh?"

Craig nodded his head, starting to look like he was in a trance from the constant stimulation from my rubbing.

"It feels good when some one else touches it." I added and rubbed his stiffy a bit faster.

I glanced next to Craig, to see that Jeff was still covering his eyes, but had a rock hard dick again. I wondered if he was enjoying this like I was, but didn't want to admit it. I grabbed Craig's right hand and moved it to hold Jeff's hard-on. With both hands, I wrapped Craig's fingers around his big brother's dick.

"What the fuck?" Jeff asked. He lifted his head off the bed and moved his hand to pull his little brother's hand away, but stopped suddenly.

I was guiding Craig's little hand up and down along Jeff's boner and that seemed to be pleasure enough to pause. I let go of the guiding grip and let Craig continue on his own. Jeff kept his hand on his brother's arm, as if ready to remove the rubbing hand at any second. But as Craig sat up more and picked up the speed on his rubbing, Jeff's hand fell away and he let his brother do his work. I watched Jeff's body go from lip and reluctant to tensing his pelvis, humping his dick into his little brother's grip. 

"No." Jeff breathed suddenly. His hand gripped Craig's arm, allowing a few more rubs, then he quickly pulled his brothers hand away. "Stop." Jeff added.

Craig appeared scared at first but got over it when he saw his brother continue to rub himself. The eight year old laid back on the bed and looked to me, expectantly.

I leaned forward, parted Craig's legs and landed gentle kisses on his smooth inner thighs. I heard the young boy sigh in pleasure as I worked my lips toward his little treasure. I stopped kissing and rubbed his erection, watching the foreskin move and open little by little.

"If you think this feels good," I said, "watch this." I pulled the foreskin back more, exposing the deep red head and then ran the surface of my tongue against it. I felt every muscle in Craig's body tense up immediately. Both of his small hands gripped onto my hair, pulling or pushing my head with every new sensation. I moaned and hummed against the boy's erection, feeling rigid joy as I licked him up. With every intake of air through my nostrils, I took in all the youthful scents that were identical to Sean's. 

I reached under Craig and grabbed a silky smooth butt cheek in each hand and then took his whole boner into my mouth. I felt Craig's torso jolt underneath as I began sucking in hard and forcefully rubbing the texture of my tongue against the underside of his dick.

"Oh!"  I heard Craig's little boy voice yelp. His hands grabbed a bit tighter onto my hair and I heard him squeak out an even louder, "Oh!"

I made sure that I was sucking in with all the force possible with my mouth. I tried to run the whole top length of my tongue along the tiny three inch hard-on, loving the way the little guy opened his legs or tensed them while I stimulated him. I would give his small butt cheeks a gentle squeeze now and then as they tightened and unclenched in my hands. I could feel the subtle rhythmic grind of Craig's petite pelvis as I sucked him into my mouth with more vigor. My mouth opened wider, moving my tongue further down the shaft. As I opened wider, I scooped up his soft ball sack so that I was sucking on his entire package. My tongue gently rolled his little nuts around and I suddenly felt his knees pull up and his thighs lightly grip the sides of my head. I brought both hands to hold the baby soft skin of his upper legs while I continued to tongue his genitals. I finally let Craig's balls slide out of my mouth, then I gripped onto his legs with both hands and began furiously working my tongue against his little stiffy. Craig's smooth tummy moved up and down faster and faster with every movement of my tongue and I heard more grunts and little-kid squeaks as the little guy pushed my head down with force. His little hands and tight thighs became a vice on my head, keeping me where it felt good and making sure that I didn't stop. His legs twitched against me, opening and closing his legs against my ears and at points I could feel his toes set down and touch my upper back. 

As I worked harder on the little guy's shaft, we held on to each other tight and I continued to work my hardest while his pelvis humped a bit more and he squirmed with almost every muscle in his little body. Craig pawed and grabbed at my hair with more intent and I reveled at the sounds of his panting breath. I suddenly felt the hairless crotch move forward and slap against my face repeatedly and I knew that he was about to climax.  

I heard Craig grunt out some word that I couldn't quite hear, followed by a short whine and a squeal. He gripped tight onto my head, mashing his smooth skin flat against my face and I could feel his little boy pee pee solidify at the first part of his orgasm. I continued snaking my tongue against his dick while he worked to almost suffocate me in his hold.

I could feel the base of Craig's cock contracting while the shaft went from solid to flaccid and the repeated. The three inch, eight year old penis was trying to pump it's baby juice into my mouth, but nothing was coming out. I worked my tongue on Craig at a much slower pace and I saw him hunch forward with every dry pump of his dick. 

Craig's eyes met mine as he let out a labored 'Uh!' with every pump of his dick. At that moment, I wished that the little boy could shoot something out. I suddenly craved to be filled with whatever he wanted to put into me.   'Fill me up,' I thought.

Craig's grip was lighter on my head and his legs relaxed, laying over my shoulders. He laid back against my bed again, but kept his eyes looking at mine, while I gently caressed his dick, barely touching it with the tip of my tongue. I smiled up at the boy and was happy to catch a half-smirk on his lips.

I moved my mouth upward, landing the tiniest kisses on his stomach and lingering at his 'innie' belly button. I felt the soft skin of his stomach shudder in a small laugh while I kissed him. I watched the smile grow on Craig's face while I playfully 'munched' on him. 

I felt my breath huff out on the smooth skin of Craig's stomach as I let out a giggle of my own. My eyes glanced to the side to catch Jeff's face for a brief second and I felt a jolt of fear run through me. I stopped kissing on Craig and turned my full attention to my friend, who was staring at me with eyes that were narrow.

"What?" I asked. 

I could feel my heart speed up and kept my eyes on Jeff while I slowly moved out of a straddle from on top of Craig.

Jeff was getting up as well, pulling his boxers and pants up over his wilted dick. He was shaking his head in what can only be described as disgust. "Enjoyed that, huh?" He asked.

"Come on man," I gulped, "it was just a little fun."

Jeff's eyes stared deep into me with seething anger that was making his face red, making me feel like a person who did bad things to kids. I didn't believe it when it happened, but he scooted his legs around and then sent his right foot to land on my rib cage. The force from Jeff's kick was enough to throw me off of his little brother so that I bounced off of the edge of the mattress and hit the floor. The thudding beat of my heart was drumming throughout my body and my mouth suddenly went dry. I was watching Jeff get off the bed and then tower over me, but it felt like I was watching through some one else's eyes. It terrified me to see the expression of anger and hate on my buddy's face as he paused and looked on me with question. Jeff quickly moved one step closer, making me cringe a little.

"Are you a pedophile now?" Jeff spit out at me. 

I could swear that my heart was beating faster than was healthy when I heard Jeff's accusing words. I shook my head and blurted out a 'No' that was weak in volume.

Jeff turned to Craig, who was still on the bed and barked, "Get dressed!"

All I could do was sit on my own bedroom floor while Craig hurried to put his clothes back on. I kept my head down under the full force of Jeff's disgusted glare. My mind raced in slow motion, trying to come up with something to say that would take away the overwhelming guilt and dread in this situation. I was powerless to do anything to change the circumstance, and I only sat and watched as Jeff and his little brother rushed to leave the room. Before exiting, I caught one last look from Craig's scared and confused face. 

I jumped as my bedroom door was slammed shut. I could've said a number of things before Jeff left the room but my words would be meaningless, because I wasn't just sucking his little brother, I was enjoying it far more than I should have. It was one thing to show the kid what it was like, but something completely different to kiss him and initiate far more foreplay than Jeff and I ever did.

I didn't even bother to get up off of the floor because it felt like there was a deep pit in the center of me that was pulling me down. I was filled with the realizing dread that I was what I feared, I was the freak that liked to molest little boys.

I laid on the wood panels of my bedroom floor, for hours. I ignored my mother's calls for dinner being ready and I disconnected myself from the urge to get up and use the restroom. The only action that seemed right, was to lay still and almost thoughtless.

The next few weeks were completely numb of emotion or anything productive. I tried to eat like I used to, but the need for food was less or seemed far off. I switched from no sleep to sleeping for almost fourteen hours per day. My mom finally said something to me one day when I was in the living room staring at the television that wasn't on. She told me that I was depressed and that I could talk to her no matter what was going on. It was strange to hear such caring words coming at me, but feel zero emotion attached to them. I tried to do my best to conjure the correct response that would make her believe that I was okay, but my words were far from real. It would take a moderate acting scene to get my mom to believe a lie, but I couldn't pull it off, so she signed me up to start seeing a counselor.

I put forth enough effort to go to the first session with a man who appeared to be caring enough to want to help. I knew that this man in a tie, with crossed legs would pay attention to everything I had to say, but I also knew that he would hit a panic button if he knew about what was really going on. I rattled off a few things, like my hate for my father and how my mom was a silent prop in the house. The man scribbled things down as I talked until the first hour was done, but I never returned for another visit.

The start of my sophomore school year forced me to get up and fall into an active routine. Whether I wanted to or not, I had to interact with people and use my brain for normal things again. My depressive state started to fall away from everyday life and I began to see the value of my surroundings again. I even discovered a few seniors that I couldn't take my eyes off of. As I toweled off in the showers at the end of P.E. My dick was getting hard like it used to and even though I dreamed about touching those other guys, my mind always wandered to a smart kid who's boy-kisses I longed for.

By the middle of October, I was back to functioning normal again. I still saw Jeff around school, but he acted like we had never met. I wasn't worried about him telling anyone what happened in my room that one day because it would mean that others would know that he fooled around with another guy.

When Halloween got closer, I thought about Sean more often, wondering what costume he would wear. It occurred to me that, the boy genius might think of trick-or-treating as too juvenile for his intellect. Whatever Sean might think, I found my eyes watching young boys in the stores as they tried on masks and sifted through the remaining costumes. I wondered if, by watching them, I was doing something that the child molesters do to pick out a victim. I wasn't lusting after the boys in the store, but deep down I knew that I wouldn't mind a little naughty interaction. I wondered if that deep desire would turn into something that I couldn't control.  I shivered at the thought of needing sex with a boy like a vampire needed blood.  I wondered if, over time, my actions would go from watching to stalking.

As Thanksgiving approached, I heard my mom talking more about a family gathering that was being planned. My heart would leap when I listened in to hear details and I would almost give myself a stomach ache as I hoped that we would be visiting Aunt Trudy for Thanksgiving dinner. Without sounding too eager, I kept asking my mother where we would spend the holiday, but she kept saying that the aunts and uncles were still deciding. One day, my mother had an answer for me that just about made me shit. I almost spit out a spoonful mashed potatoes when she informed me that Thanksgiving dinner would be at our house this year. I soaked in the rush of excitement knowing that Aunt Trudy would be here with everyone else. My heart quickly sank as I realized that Thanksgiving was such a big holiday, that Sean would most likely spend it at home with his own family. I lost my appetite right away but tried to finish my dinner. I played with my food while conjuring images of Sean's sad face as he stared at my aunt Trudy's empty house, knowing that they were all visiting me.

A part of me hung on to a vague hope that perhaps Sean would come running out of my Aunt Trudy's minivan with the rest of my cousins. I didn't want to get my hopes up too high because I knew that the possibility of this happening was too remote.

I woke up way too early on Thanksgiving morning, and watched the sunrise from my bedroom window as I checked my email and Facebook. I never received a response from the one woman that I thought might be Sean's mother, but I hoped that one day I would receive some sort of information that was positive.

My grandparents arrived ahead of everyone else and I was delighted to hear that they would be staying the night in a hotel instead of sleeping in my room. My uncle David arrived with his wife who had an annoying laugh that I could've done without hearing for a lifetime. The cars came and I watched them all from the picture window, sitting in the same chair where Sean had first sat. I watched for that minivan packed with people, hoping that one would be my little Sean. The thought of getting to see my boy sooner than next summer, was making my stomach swim.

My grandpa was sitting in the chair next to mine, watching tv, asking random questions about school, but I stopped answering when I saw the gold colored minivan pull up. I sat up in my seat, leaning forward, trying to count the heads in the back seat.

My aunt Trudy stepped out of the passenger seat and began dusting her pant legs off for whatever reason. My uncle Frank came around from the driver side and opened the side sliding door and I saw Jared jump out first, followed by Paul and Carl, but no Sean. I wasn't expecting Sean to show up, but having it confirmed felt horrible.

I sat there in the living room, a little less animated about the holiday and what was going on around me. I watched the Thanksgiving day parade on tv but couldn't hear over all of the family chatter. Most of the guests for the holiday dinner had arrived, but I noticed one more car pulling up and parking across the street. I watched the two adult figures exit the car, recognizing my uncle Max and I felt the immediate fear when I noticed that the other adult man was my cousin Henry, the child molester. I felt like a kid again, wanting to hide somewhere so that the approaching monster couldn't look directly at me. I felt my blood racing through my veins and I took a deep breath, wondering why the image of this guy still scared the shit out of me. I watched my cousin walk in through the front door, forcing myself to see that he was only human and that he wouldn't hurt me because I was too old.

I watched my uncle exchange hugs with family in the room and I also witnessed my cousin Henry avoid eye contact with people as they skipped hugging him altogether.

Henry was slightly overweight with short brown hair and if he had been anyone else I would have considered his facial features to be attractive. He would only need to lose about ten pounds and he could be very attractive if he wanted. He wore a black and turquoise DC Comics jacket with a white button-up shirt and blue jeans. He looked like a normal person and that's what I would think of him if I didn't know any better. As I watched my cousin I found myself wondering exactly what he had done to become a sex offender. 

I kept my eyes on the actions of my family as they acted normal around Henry while others reacted awkwardly around him or ignored him completely. I wondered if this is what I would be if anyone ever knew about my one night of passion in the trailer with Sean. I shivered at the thought of others knowing about my love and of the accusing eyes that would watch me.

The house smelled amazing, reminding me that I had skipped breakfast because I was nervous and hoping that I would get to see Shawn on that day. I was a shaky kind of hungry when I finally sat at the big table to eat. This would be the second year in a row where I could get to sit with the adults instead of sitting with a bunch of fighting kids.

My aunt Trudy decided to sit right next to me, talking about how happy she was that we were Facebook buddies. I took the opportunity to butter up my aunt, telling her that I was happy that they came for Thanksgiving and that I wouldn't mind going out there to scout for a potential college. I jumped when my aunt squealed with joy that I wanted to visit, it was awesome that she was responding this way because it could give me some time with Sean if I visited. I smiled and went along with every encouraging suggestion that aunt Trudy gave me about the different universities and community colleges.

I was glad that dinner was served at four o'clock instead of the everyday six thirty time, but it meant that I was ready for bed in the afternoon. If I had been able to sleep in a bit more, my eyes wouldn't be trying to droop shut and I could read for a bit. 

After dinner, no one was paying attention to me, so I was left to try and stay awake on the chair by the window. I gave up the fight and headed upstairs to try for a nap in my room. At the top of the stairs, around the corner, mom had set up a tall book shelves and two wicker chairs with a coffee table. The  shelves had a bunch of old-looking books that were almanacs, but nothing worth reading, it was all for looks. I stopped fast in my tracks when I saw my cousin Henry sitting in one of the chairs.

Henry put on a quick half-smile, waved quickly at me and then looked away. I felt my heart pounding loud and I tried to say 'hello', but what came out was strange and almost inaudible. I gripped the door knob to my room, ready to escape inside, but something held me back. I was standing only eight feet from the twenty six year old guy who scared me and yet he was probably the only one who would give me a straight answer about what happened to bring him to this point in his life.

I let go of the door knob, forcing myself to turn and face Henry. I didn't know what to do now that I was standing there, so I stayed still for a bit. My cousin Henry never moved a muscle while I face him. I finally took a deep breath and walked over to where he sat. I opened my mouth to say something but I remained silent. Instead of talking, I sat in the other wicker chair that was at a right angle to his chair.

I heard my cousin take in a long and careful breath. "Are you sure you should be talking to me?" He asked.

I gulped down some saliva and then shrugged my shoulders, "Sure." I said.

Henry still had his eyes on the carpet at our feet when he asked, "You want to know why you're not supposed to talk to me. Right?" 

I shrugged again, watching his reaction. "I suppose." I replied. "I always wondered what happened."

My heart was thudding with so much force that I could swear he heard it. I wiped my sweaty hands on my pants and then crossed my legs, trying to appear more comfortable than I was. I gulped again, attempting to put some moisture back into my mouth, and then asked, " You like kids. Right?"

Henry let out a shaky breath, saying, "Yeah."

"Oh." I barely said. "What did you do?" I almost stopped talking altogether because it felt like my heart was going to explode out of my throat. 

Henry didn't answer the question for what seemed like forever. Finally my cousin said, "Do I look like a bad guy to you?"

My eyes immediately darted to meet my cousin's stare, then I quickly looked away. I processed the question in my head and really thought it over. "No." I replied.

I heard a light chuckle come from my cousin. "You wouldn't think twice about me if you didn't know me, and you would think I'm a nice guy?"

I looked at my cousin Henry again, this time really seeing his eyes. I shrugged, "Sure."

I heard a long sigh come from my cousin and then he was silent for a bit. "I really am a nice person, James." He said, sitting up a bit more in his seat. "I have never done a single thing to hurt anyone."

I was trying to assess if he was being truthful. He really did look like a nice person who wouldn't hurt anyone. My first instinct was to believe him because it felt like he was being honest, but there was still the doubt from all of those times that I was told to stay away from him.

"Have you ever met your Mom's cousin Gayle?" Henry asked.

I recalled meeting my Mom's young cousin at a family reunion a few years ago. Gayle was a very bubbly girl that was just out of high school that all of the other male family would've loved to have a thing with because she had big tits. She annoyed the shit out of me and I was glad that she didn't live anywhere close by.

"Ya," I replied, "I remember her."

"Have you seen her new boyfriend?" Henry asked, with a slight smile on his face.

I shook my head, wondering where my cousin was going with this conversation.

"Gayle," Henry continued, "Is currently in a relationship with a forty year old man."

It struck me as odd that a girl so young would be dating some one who could be her father's age but it was nothing crazy. Henry seemed to be waiting for a bigger reaction from me or something.

"Nothing wrong with their relationship. Correct?" Henry asked.

I shrugged my shoulders again, keeping my waiting eyes on him.

"Cousin Gayle has a condition where she likes older guys." Henry explained. He paused for a few seconds, watching my reaction. Then he lowered his voice and said, "I have a condition that goes in the opposite direction."

I had never heard of a pedophile described in such a logical way before and it made Henry's kind eyes seem more real. 

"You like guys fifteen years younger." I said, more for myself than for Henry.

I saw the edges of my cousin's mouth turn up slightly. Henry glanced down the hallway and then looked back to me. "I used to have a younger friend," Henry said, in a whisper, "who was about thirteen years old." 

Henry inhaled deep and then let it out slowly before he continued, "My friend and I would spend hours everyday, building model airplanes together. I was eighteen at the time, so it was a little odd for a man of my age to spend so much time with some one so young, but his mom liked how happy her son was when we were together."

I put my hands together on my lap and squeezed tightly as I braced myself for the frightening details. I wondered how bad Henry, the vampire, needed his fix when he got in trouble. At that moment, I wasn't sure if I was willing to actually hear the full story of what got Henry in trouble.

"Sam was the boy's name, and we were on his porch." Henry continued, "We were working on a different kind of model that was huge. I sat on a bench at the picnic table right next to him and he would lean into me and enjoy being close." 

Henry looked down the hallway again and then back to me. I could understand why he was being so careful because where we were sitting, was sort of a 'loft' that looked like it was walled in because of the bookcase. If you talked loud enough, people could hear you in all kinds of different spots downstairs.

"And on this particular day," Henry said, "Sam was asking various questions about kissing. He was curious what it felt like and wanted to know what french kissing was. I did my best to explain everything in as much detail as possible, but he asked me to show him what it was like." 

My cousin paused, watching me carefully. I couldn't hide my fidgeting hands and I had to look away. I couldn't stop the flash of memories from the night that I received boy-kisses from Sean. I adjusted my position in my seat, and waited for Henry to continue.

"So I leaned in and kissed him." Henry said. "It was just a tiny peck on his lips, but then he scooted closer and put his lips to mine again."

Listening to my cousin Henry stirred vivid memories of Sean learning to kiss like an adult. I clearly remembered the sweet cotton candy flavored kisses as I sucked on Sean's tongue, which was smaller than my own. I felt my dick stir a little as I recalled Sean's youthful grunts and moans as we locked mouths. I was glad that my legs were crossed so that I couldn't reveal the fact that I might be the same sort of predator that he was.

Henry moved in his seat slightly and then said, "Sorry if what I'm saying is making you uncomfortable, but you wanted to know." He cleared his throat and then continued, "Kissing Sam, was amazing. I loved that boy and I never asked him to do anything like that before. I was honored that he wanted his first kiss to be with me and I was turned on as well."

Henry's posture suddenly went into a slouch and the smile was gone from his face. He paused, seeming to need a moment before proceeding with his story. 

Finally Henry was able to look at me again, but his words were shaky, "I was letting Sam kiss as much as he wanted, not only because it felt amazing, but it was completely his decision. We kissed for a while and I loved holding his cheeks while I let him love on me. But then things went bad."

I couldn't hide the quick gasp of air as I watched and waited for my cousin to begin telling the horrid details of how he gave into his need for the boy.

Henry's sad eyes looked at the floor as he continued, "That's when Sam's mother came onto the porch and freaked out. She started screaming at me, telling me to get away from her son. I stopped kissing Sam immediately and stood up, trying to get away from this woman who was shouting that she would call the cops on me. It all happened so fast, but when I stood up, that's when the mother got a full view of the boner that made a tent in my shorts. She went completely ape shit and started screaming things that I didn't sound like English."

I noticed that Henry's hands were shaking a little and he was licking his lips like his mouth was dry, but he continued anyway.

"I didn't even touch him." Henry said, "All I did was kiss the boy and that was it for me."

"That was all?" I said, in disbelief, "Nothing else happened?" 

Henry shook his head slowly, while staring at his shoes, "Nothing else happened." 

My eyes were wide and my mouth dropped open. I was sure that there must be something more to the story that I didn't know about because you don't become known as a child molester from kissing a boy.

"I never went to jail or anything," Henry said, "because I didn't do anything wrong and they couldn't make Sam admit that I touched him, because that never happened. I'm not a registered sex offender like uncle Jack tells everyone and I've never been in trouble for molesting a child."

I stared at Henry, trying to understand how he became a monster in everyone's eyes if he never actually did anything to gain the title. 

Henry seemed to hear my thoughts and answered, "Sam's mother was outraged by me. She did enough  'word of mouth' damage to ruin me for life. Everyone knows to keep their kids away from me."

I'm sure that my face was becoming red. I balled my hands into tight fists, saying, "That's bullshit!" My words came out louder than I had expected and we both went silent, listening to hear if anyone was coming up the stairs to see what was wrong. No one came.

We stayed silent for a while and I watched my cousin's sad eyes that looked hopeless. I felt horrible for all of the 'Keep Away' games that I played, where he was the monster. My irrational fear of him meant that I fed into the negative shroud that had been placed on Henry by the woman who hated him so much. I could see myself in his shoes, being screamed at for getting caught doing things with Sean.

"Why don't you tell everyone what really happened?" I asked.

"I did." Henry shrugged, "Kissing a boy is just as bad as rape."

I sat back in the chair, feeling a sick wave turning my stomach. I felt sorrow for some one who was getting labeled as a predator when I had done so much more with Sean than just kissing.

Henry's eyes were on me, studying my face. "Thanks for understanding." 

"No problem." I replied, "I wish others could understand too."

I had more questions to ask, but kept silent as I figured out the right way to say them. Finally I felt right about the phrasing of a question.

"Have you been able to," I paused to gulp down some saliva, "to be with some one you love?"

Henry shook his head, "No."

I could tell that there is more information that went with his answer, but he stopped himself before saying it.

"Oh." I said, trying to make it sound casual. "How do you...get by without being around kids?"

My cousin leaned back in his chair, looking at me with a face that turned white. "I...ummm," he shrugged and licked his lips, "I use my imagination."

I nodded, formulating the next question. "What about..." I couldn't look him in the eyes, "What ages do you like?"

Henry's eyes were hesitant and careful now. "Why all of the questions?" His eyes glanced down the hall again. "What's going on?"

My heart was thumping loudly in my hears as the pace picked up on my blood flow. All moisture was gone from my mouth and it felt like I was watching the whole question and answer session on a distant movie screen.

"I'm trying to..." My voice caught in my throat but I tried to keep going. My speech went from shaky to  choking the words out,  "Trying to...figure out...if I'm a...I'm a...a...." 

Henry's eyes grew wide as he figured out what I was trying to say. He leaned forward and quickly shushed me. We were both breathing rapidly and sharing a panicked stare. 

"You're serious?" My cousin asked in an almost inaudible whisper.

I felt Henry's hand grip tight onto mine. It was odd to go from being afraid of him, to feeling comforted by his presence. I gripped his hand in return, keeping my scared eyes on his. I nodded my head in response to his question.

Henry patted my wrist with his other hand and let out a shaky breath. "Be very quiet about that." He whispered, "Especially around them." He pointed to at the floor, meaning the entire family downstairs.

I nodded and mouthed the word, 'okay'.

Henry looked nervously down the hall and then he appeared to be figuring something out. It was clear that he didn't want to continue the discussion where we were at. I tried to talk as quietly as I could, "My room?" I suggested.

Henry gave a quick nod and we both walked to my bedroom door with light feet. When we were both inside my room, I slid the bolt closed as carefully as I could. We both sighed when the door was locked and I moved to sit on my bed and Henry sat there too, but kept his distance.

"Okay," Henry said quietly," Why do you think you're a ped...." He stopped in the middle of the word, like it might sting.

I breathed deep a few times and then said, "I love a boy."

Henry's eyes were wide again and his breathing wasn't quite back to normal. He appeared surprised, scared and delighted all at once.

"How old?" Henry asked.

"Nine years old." I answered.

My cousin appeared to stop breathing for a second and then let out a long breath, saying, "Wow." He shook his head, in thought, "That's amazing. Is this new?"

"Last fourth of July." I answered. "He's not like any other boy I've met. He's smarter and I think that's partly why I fell for him. He also looked so...alone and I needed to make it better."

I saw a wide smile grow on my cousin's face and I realized that it was the only time I had seen him smile like that, ever.

"It feels so good to finally tell some one." I sighed.

"I bet it does." Henry laughed. "So are you pursuing a relationship with him?"

"I'm trying to." I replied, "But he lives so far away. He came up with Aunt Trudy."

"Are you talking about Sean?" Henry asked.

I could swear my heart skipped a beat when he said Sean's name. Part of me was defensive because I didn't want him to say that he had a fling with Sean too. Another part of me was glad that he knew the boy that I was talking about.

"Don't worry," Henry said, answering my thoughts, "I've never had the opportunity to even talk to him. But I do see him a lot when I go to Aunt Trudy's house."

I let loose a clear sigh of relief and smiled a little. "That little guy is in all of my thoughts since I met him."

"He's quite a catch." Henry said, "But why try to have an ongoing relationship with a nine year old who lives so far away?"

I thought about his question before answering. I couldn't formulate an answer that made sense, since the whole ordeal was senseless. "I love him," was all I could say.

"I see." Henry said, "Have you had feelings for younger boys, before Sean?"

I shook my head, "No, he's the first." The image of Craig's little body popped into my head and I added, "But there was this one kid that I did some stuff with. I think I messed around with him because he reminded me of Sean."

Henry listened patiently while I told him about how I orally pleased Craig. He sat and considered everything and finally said, "The definition of a pedophile is: some one who is sexually attracted to prepubescent boys or girls, but it sounds like that's not what you are by nature."

I scooted myself closer on the bed, eagerly listening to my cousin's interpretation of what I am.

"It sounds like," Henry continued, "you are attracted to one young boy and are drawn to the things that remind you of him. You could have sexual relations with all sorts of little boys, but probably wouldn't fall in love with them because, they simply aren't Sean." 

I let out a long sigh of relief, feeling better that I wasn't what I feared. I immediately felt additional guilt because my cousin was what I didn't want to be. My situation seemed easier to handle when put up against my cousin, who had no other choice in life.

"I wish we could've talked like this years ago." I said.

Henry shook his head, "The only way you could understand me and be comfortable with me, is if you've been in my shoes. A few years ago, it would have been impossible for you to not be afraid of me. You were like the rest of the family."
  
"So," I said, "have you been able to be with a boy...at all? Even with everything that happened with that lady?"

Henry averted his eyes quickly, shaking his head.

"I'm curious," I said, carefully watching my cousin's response, "What do you like about boys?" 

He still had his eyes pointed at the ground, "You mean, what turns me on about them?"

"Yeah." I replied.

"Well," He inhaled deep and took a few seconds to reply. "I love the way boys have smooth baby skin." He quickly looked at me, examining my expression while he talked, "I love their little button noses and  their little bubble butts." He paused for a couple seconds, calming his breathing, "I love how their silky smooth necks feel on my lips. He stopped again, briefly, breathing heavy now. Henry glanced at the door quickly and then looked back at me with excitement in his eyes. "I love what their tiny hips look like when they're humping and I like it when they lose control when they cum."

I wore a surprised smile on my lips. "Wow." I breathed, "But I thought you haven't been with a boy?"

"I have memories from when I was twelve." Henry answered. "I messed around with a lot of my friends...and their little brothers." He seemed to calm down slightly. Eyes fixed on the floor, he said "It's been so long."

"So," I said, "As long as the boy has baby skin, you like them? Or are there ages that you go by?"

Henry sighed and then answered, "I like boys around seven years old to a little over thirteen years, but I could go higher or lower. It depends on the kid."

"Wow." I exhaled, "So, I'm in your age range?"

He wouldn't look at me when he nodded 'yes'. 

I sat up a little more, telling him, "It doesn't make me uncomfortable. I'm just trying to understand what you like." I waited a few moments before I asked, "Do I still have some young skin?"

My cousin's eyes darted around to different parts of my body. Finally, Henry nodded 'yes'.
I saw movement and my eyes quickly went to the hardon that was developing in his blue jeans.

I smiled and asked him, "Where is my skin that you like?"

Henry's breathing picked up again and he was contemplating whether he should answer or not. Finally Henry seemed excited to give an answer, "Your neck looks silky soft."

I ran the tips of my fingers along the skin of my neck, trying to feel for the 'baby skin' that my cousin liked so much. "Where else?" I asked.

Henry's breathing was uneven and he swallowed before he spoke, "The insides of your forearms, and I bet your thighs are soft like a toddler. I bet your stomach is still like a little kid's stomach."

I jumped when my cousin Henry suddenly stood, bent at the crotch to hide his boner. He walked to my bedroom door, which was only feet away, and stopped.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

He faced my door, going through efforts to calm his breathing. "I can't get caught with you in here. I'll go to jail."

"No one knows you're in here." I replied. I got up and walked to stand next to him by the door. I put a hand on his shoulder and said, "You said its been a while. Let me be your little boy."

Henry sucked in a quick breathe and he turned to me, holding back. I took his right hand and placing it on my neck, asking him, "Is it soft?"

I listened to Henry's shaky breath as his fingers gently caressed my neck. "Yes." My cousin sighed.

I stepped closer to Henry, inhaling the scent of his cologne. The warmth of my cousin's body, was radiating and I could feel his stiff dick touch my leg. I tilted my neck to the side and raised myself up on my tiptoes so that my neck pressed against his mouth. My arms hugged around Henry's neck and I felt him give in, pressing his nostrils to my throat. I felt his arms embrace my waist, mashing his boner against me. Henry's open lips kissed and sniffed against my neck, making sounds like a hungry man eating on food at last. I couldn't help but feel like the 'vampire' was feeding on his prey, but this prey was a willing catch.

I clenched my butt cheeks when I felt cousin Henry's hands squeeze them. I heard his muffled frenzy against my skin when he asked if it was okay.

"Yes." I said, as his tongue tasted the crook of my neck. "Do anything you want with me."

My permission seemed to give more energy to my cousin because his kissing picked up and his moaning became slightly louder in volume. I could feel Henry's erection grinding against my leg while his hands grabbed at my butt. I made myself limp in his hold and I hoped that I was young enough for him to feel like he was loving on a little boy.

"I've imagined this." Henry grunted along my neck. "Touching you."

"Tell me." I moaned. "It's okay, you can be yourself with me. I'm your little kid."

Henry's humping picked up speed on my leg and I felt both of his hands grab my pants, pulling them down along with my boxers. His hands were gentle and shaky when they felt up my exposed butt.

"You're so soft, James!" Henry groaned into my ear. "Your butt is so fucking soft!"

"Good," I whispered into his ear, "But pace yourself. Go slow and make it last." 

I reached my hand between us to grab what felt like a hard six inch cock that belonged to my cousin. I massaged my cousin's erection gently, feeling him slow down the pace of his thrusts. 

My rubbing slowed Henry down to almost a stand still. I whispered to him, "See if there are any other other soft parts on me." I felt him shudder slightly against me and then pull away, staring at me with eager eyes. 

I stopped rubbing Henry's dick and stood there with my hands at my side. My pants and boxers were down to my knees but my long t-shirt covered my dick and balls. Even though my shirt covered a lot, I could see the tip of my dick poking at my shirt and creating a wet dot of precum. I felt a hot jolt rush through me as I watched my cousin shiver with excitement as he stared at me. I was getting so hot just knowing that I was turning him on.

Henry dropped to his knees in front of me and he pushed his face into my shirt, letting out a nervous laugh when his chin touched my hard-on. He ducked his head and I saw his head disappear under my shirt. I felt my cousin's nose breath against my pubic hair while his lips rushed to kiss my hardon repeatedly. 

"Oh god!" Henry groaned against my balls. "Even with your pubes, your skin is so young!" I felt his lips suck against my skin, all the way up to my belly button. It was my turn to shiver when Henry, snaked his mouth against my stomach. I felt his hands grab and rub at my butt again.

"I wanna see your butt." Henry demanded, guiding my hips to turn me.

As I faced away from Henry, lifting my shirt to show my whole back end and I heard him slowly let out a shaky sigh and say, "Dude. Your butt is a perfect boy bubble butt!" 

I couldn't help but jump when I felt him lunge forward to press his face between my cheeks. My hand found my dick as I was stimulated in my back end by muffled moans and a wet tongue. Henry was trying to say things as he explored my ass with his face. The only thing that I could comprehend was when Henry said, "....soft, like silk."

I tried to steady myself against Henry's face, that tried to push further into me, but I kept getting pushed until I was bent over my bed. I released the grip on my dick to brace myself on the bed so that I could put all of my attention on what was being done to me. It felt like a hungry animal lapping up every inch of my crack and I loved it.

Henry suddenly went silent and removed his face from my butt. I stood up straight and turned to see what was going on. Henry was sitting back on his feet and panting while looking at the floor.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

He took in a few deep breaths before responding, "I'm trying to stop myself from cumming."

I was loving this kind of attention from another guy, even if it was my cousin. The situation was turning me on even more knowing that, just the feel and taste of me, was going to make this guy cum. I faced my cousin and then fell back onto my bed. I began stroking my dick while I waited for Henry to calm down. It took a few minutes for my cousin to be calmed enough to look at me again. I heard a groan when he saw my new position on the bed.

I smiled at Henry, who had his pants pulled to his knees now. I bent my legs upward, bringing my knees to my chest and said, "More please."

Henry let out a gasp and then he was kissing my balls and crack again. "Oh god yes!" He groaned while kissing my skin. "Just like a little kid! I love your butt, James! You have no idea!"

"How young do I feel, to you?" I moaned, gripping my knees to pull my legs further apart.

Henry stopped the muffled grunts into my butt to reply, "You're like a little eleven year old boy." He said, in a labored breath.

My cousin's hands gripped firmly onto my waist, pulling me hard against his mouth. I felt Henry's rabid, probing tongue search its way far into my anus. I normally didn't like ass play as much, but this was hitting all the right spots. He held me tight and stimulated me with such lust, that I could only spread my legs and let him have control of me.

I felt Henry pull away from me again and saw him hunched forward, shuddering and taking slower and controlled breathes. He was trying to avoid an orgasm again.

"You really like me that much?" I huffed.

Henry nodded a 'yes' at the floor.

My hands grabbed at my cheeks to pull them further apart. "Fuck me." I said.

"Are you serious?" Henry squeaked out at me. His eyes were wide and hopeful.

I nodded, knowing that the request was driven more by lust than comfort. I had messed around with butt fucking before but each time was unpleasant because of how forceful the guy was. I started using makeshift dildo's from food to household items and that felt better, but only because I had control of the item. I looked at my cousin's lustful eyes and suddenly felt like it would be okay if he went full in and raped my butt because he loved it so much.

"Do it!" I demanded.

I took out the bottle of baby oil from my bed side table and applied it to my butt. I gave a comforting smile to my cousin, who was shaking out of nervous excitement and trying not to blow his load on the floor. 

I rubbed two of my fingers into my butt, going in as far as I could. When I thought I was ready, I pulled my hand away and watched my cousin fumble his dick toward me. He got in close to me and even though his attention was on his dick, I looked at his face, only inches away.

"I'm so glad I stopped to talk to you." I said.

Henry looked into my eyes and said, "Me too." I felt the head of his cut dick push against me and I tried to pull his waist into me, telling him he could go in more. 

I moaned, moving my right hand to hold the back of Henry's neck, bringing his face close. "Does that feel good against my soft skin?" I whispered. 

"Fuck yeah!" Henry groaned, breathing unevenly. "I have to go super slow," He said, "or I'll blow inside you right now."

Every quarter inch that his dick pushed in, hurt like fucking crazy. I knew that this type of sex was going to be like getting stuffed with a pole, but I knew that I was fulfilling the wish of some one who had gotten a bad rap for so many years. I could take the pain because Henry was worth it.

Henry's left hand caressed my neck while he humped small thrusts into me. I tired not to tense up against him, to allow his dick to go in further. I pulled Henry's other hand to touch the other side of my neck and soon he was holding my face in his hands.

"This feels amazing, James." Henry moaned. 

"Felling good here too." I breathed.

The head of Henry's dick was all the way inside of me but he would stop every few seconds and tell me to not move. He said that he was right on the edge, ready to cum and any movement could trigger it. I would remain as still as a statue while we waited for the edge of his orgasm to fade. Our faces were inches apart and the close whispers were turning me on.

"You can go fast when you're gonna cum, if you want." I said, feeling Henry's dick pick up the pace inside of me.

Our eyes were locked on each other while Henry began to really fuck me. We both wore expressions of pain and pleasure and were sharing a nonverbal communication that Sean loved so much. With every thrust, Henry's dick was slipping all the way inside of me.

I held Henry's neck tighter as began slamming his hardon into me. Henry leaned into me, growling out moans that he was trying to keep quiet. With each forceful shove into me, he stimulated me, making it feel incredible. Along with the pain, came the stimulation of my prostate and it was like I was being jacked off from the inside.

"Harder!" I moaned into my cousin's ear.

"Oh my god!" Henry growled as he began to rabbit fuck me, "You're so hot, James!"

"I can't hold it anymore." Henry whispered against my ear, "Gonna cum."

I wrapped my legs around my cousin's humping ass, and groaned into his ear, "Don't pull out." I wrapped both of my arms around Henry, holding him tight.

Henry whined urgent whimpers into my ear as he hammered his dick into me. At once, I felt his back arch and all of his muscles tensed, turning him into a shaking statue in my embrace. Henry's whole rigid body moved to try to push his manhood farther into me than was possible and it felt amazing. I hugged my cousin's convulsing body against me, caressing the strained muscles on his back. I could feel Henry pumping and contracting against me. His humping dick slid in and out of me a bit slower and he began gently sucking on my neck as his orgasm calmed. 

"Fuck man." Henry breathed, "That was the most powerful cum that I've ever had." He nibbled on my ear a bit, while barely moving inside me.

"Don't pull out." I asked, quietly.

"Why?" Henry asked, while sucking on my neck again.

"It feels so good now." I replied. "Keep humping me."

Henry let out a tired laugh, saying, "I don't think that's possible, at this point."

"C'mon," I pleaded, "I was almost there, but then you stopped." I felt more sucking kisses on my neck, but didn't get a real response. "I bet you'd do it if I was younger." I added.

Henry stopped kissing me and pressed his nose into my cheek. He moaned with every slight move of his dick. "You are much younger than you think." He said, through gritted teeth. I felt his dick pull out half way and them slam back into me, giving me the jolt of pleasure that I craved. 

I grabbed onto the back of my cousin's shirt, holding on tight. He wasn't rabbit fucking me, but his speed picked up, little by little. 

"I'm almost there." I breathed, "a bit more."

"You're my little boy." Henry labored to say. 

"All yours, right now." I said, between breaths.

My moans were uncontrollable as my body electrified in the first wave of my orgasm. I tried to steady my body against Henry's humping dick, which was moving much faster again. My whole body seemed to contract in a warm and intense convulsion. 

"I'm cumming." I said, with a grunt into my cousin's ear. I felt the got jets of cum begin to shoot out of my dick, which was flopping around from my cousins thrusts. I growled and hummed while squeezing bunches of my cousin's shirt in both of my hands. I asked for it, and every slam of that erection, sent more waves of electric pleasure through me.

"Oh fuck!" Henry moaned, "I'm cumming again." 

Henry's body tensed up against me one more time. He moved both of his arms under my back, holding onto my shoulders and pulling my entire body against his dick, with as much force as possible. It hurt me, but it felt awesome while I squirted my stuff all over our chests.

Henry was forced to pull his dick all the way out of me, for the simple fact that I could'nt hold anymore cum inside of me. Henry laid his head on my chest and breathed hard against my skin as his body shook with the last spasms of his second orgasm.

We were both breathing hard and laying limp while we caught our breath and let our muscles relax again, when we heard the sound of footsteps in the hallway. Henry raised himself of his elbows and looked at me, wide eyed and scared.

I placed my index finger to my lips, telling him to be quiet. He nodded and then we both listened while I wondered if we may have made too much noise on my bed. My mom's voice was heard, saying something that I couldn't make out, followed by my aunt Trudy's unmistakable cheery tone. I smiled at Henry, knowing that if aunt Trudy was happy, then they weren't looking for us.

Henry and I stared at each other while we remained completely silent. My mom and aunt talked about everyday stuff while I communicated wordlessly with my cousin, who turned out to be a good kind of monster. He was my kind of monster.

The voices in the hallway were coming closer and I could hear my mom talking about possibly painting the stair railing a different color. We listened while Henry traced his fingers along my nose, moving to my lips and finally caressing my chin. I saw a wide grin form across Henry's face and noticed his bottom lip quiver. A redness flushed my cousin's face and I saw the moisture fill his eyes.

I cupped my hands against Henry's cheeks, showing him a perplexed expression.

He waited for my mom and aunt's footsteps to completely disappear down the stairs before saying anything. He shook his head and smiled as I wiped one of his tears with my thumb.

"It's been so long," Henry said with a shaky voice, "since I've felt as happy as I am right now."

I smiled again, feeling moisture meet my eyes as well. Henry kissed on me a bit more and then we both got up to get dressed again.

When Henry was done zipping his pants back up, he sat at my computer chair and asked, "When was the last time you spoke to Sean?" He asked.

"July fifth." I answered, wiping the pool of cum off of my cover.

"What the heck?" Henry asked, looking confused, "Why aren't you two emailing pics and doing naked webcam sessions?"

I shrugged, wiping at the stain more than was needed. "I guess we both felt like we had more time. I thought that we would at least get another moment to talk. We could've exchanged emails or something, but he left so quickly and there was nothing we could do."
Henry traced his fingers along the creases in his jeans. "That's like a curse on people who like boys." He said, "The parents are in control of everything that the boy does. They think they are doing what's best for their child, but that one mother turned a sweet kiss for my boy, into something scary and confusing. How is that 'best' for that kid?"

I wadded up the tissue that I was using to clean the bed cover and threw it into the small trash can by my desk. I shook my head, responding to Henry, "It's not right, but before I met Sean, I used to think like that. If I heard your situation a year ago, I would have thought the mother was right to freak out." I let out a long sigh, adding, "but only because that's how my parents raised me to think."

Henry slowly nodded his head, "Each generation screws up the next...."

We stayed in silence for a few minutes. I watched my cousin's eyes examine the floor while he thought things over. I broke the long quiet, asking, "Will you keep a eye on Sean for me?" 

"Sure." Henry said, "As much as I can, from a distance. Anything in particular that you'd like me to watch for?"

I got up from my bed and fished a pen and paper from my desk drawer. I scribbled my email address on the paper, handing it to Henry. "Make sure he doesn't move out of town."

My cousin looked from the paper to me, showing me a confused face. "Not sure I can do anything about that."

"No," I said, "but you can let me know if something like that happens. That's what I've been so worried about. I'm scared that next summer will come and I'll learn that he moved away, and I'll never see him again."

"Okay." Henry said, slipping the email carefully into his pocket. He took the pen from my hands and jotted down his own email onto the notepad next to my keyboard.

"You know," Henry said, looking at me thoughtfully, "If you weren't so into this boy, I would ask you to wait a couple of years so we could be together."

I did a double take at my cousin, surprised at his statement. My fingers tapped on the letters of his email address, while I considered the closeness and the awesome sex that we just had. It was possible to love this man, even though he was my cousin. However, there was a deeper love that shined for me.

"If I had never met that boy," I replied, with a kind smile, "I would probably still be afraid of you." 

"I'm sorry." Henry said, getting up from his seat. He stepped toward me and put a hand on my shoulder. "I didn't mean to offend you. I know you love that boy."

I let out a long sigh. "It's okay." I said, setting a hand of my own on Henry's shoulder. I stepped closer and pressed my neck to my cousin's lips again. Henry gently kissed me while holding my head to a tilt. "It would be pointless to fall for me," I breathed, "since I'll be out of your age range soon."

Henry kissed on my neck for a bit longer. Things began to heat up again and he stopped himself abruptly and made his way to my door. I watched my cousin pause before unlocking the slide bolt and quietly opening the door. Before walking out of my room, he whispered across the six feet between us, "Thank you."

I smiled in response, feeling the heat in my face and the water in my eyes. I watched my door close quietly and then sat at my computer. I entered my cousin's email address into my contact list, then clicked on the button to compose a new email. My email to my cousin was only two words long 'You're welcome'.

After about thirty minutes I returned to sit by the window downstairs. I hoped to strike up a conversation with Henry, to show the rest of the family that he was human and that I approved of him. Henry avoided eye contact with me in the crowded room, and discretely waved me off when I tried to get close to him.

It was frustrating being on the other side of the fence now. I grew more and more aggravated as I watched our family make it obvious that they were keeping their distance from Henry. My face was getting hot again and my hands were in tight fists as I tried to figure out how I could fix this situation that was so wrong. I wanted to yell at them all and tell my aunts and uncles that if they didn't love Henry, then they couldn't love me.

I was in an angered huff, when I caught the kind and comforting smile on Henry's face. My cousin held my eyes with his unexpected calm. I felt my breathing slow, when I saw him mouth the words, 'It's okay.' 

I shook my head, narrowing my eyes at him. However, Henry's energy didn't match my own and his smile turned into a silent laugh. His smile grew wider as he repeated his silent words telling me that everything was okay. I didn't return the smile, but it was enough to keep me from freaking out on everyone around me.

When my cousin left, I found that I missed him a lot. I couldn't help but feel like I had formed another close bond with some one that no one could know about. I wondered why the clandestine bonds seemed to be the closest to my heart.
Henry and I sent a few emails back and forth, finding that we liked a few of the same comic books. One day I received an email from my cousin that read,

James,
Your boy's full name is Sean Patrick Hampton.
I got the chance to chat briefly with him. He
says to tell you that he is still 'the ground'. Do you
know what that means?

My pulse picked up and I felt my hand shake on the mouse as I read the words over and over. After months of being blind and having to hope that I would see Sean again, it felt like a miracle and a relief to get some sort of contact from him. I felt a large knot in my throat as I recalled Sean's little bit of poetry that described our love, 'If you are the rain, then I'll be the ground to receive you.' He was telling me that he was still waiting for me, like he promised.

There was a last part of my cousin's message that talked about a video that might interest me. I clicked on the youtube link and my heart jumped when I saw Sean's face on my computer screen. The title to the video was 'Boston Stratagem 2009 - Hampton Win'. The video was a year old, showing an eight year old Sean, with much shorter hair. My boy was sitting at a computer screen, wearing a headset that he spoke words into that I couldn't hear. There were several other teenage boys standing behind Sean, some looked frustrated or impatient while others watched the screen in front of Sean without blinking.

I stared at my monitor with my mouth open, amazed that I was able to see the boy that I loved. I watched Sean pinch the microphone of his headset with his thumb and forefinger, holding it closer to his mouth. He looked too young to be as serious as he appeared, but it was amazing seeing him after so many months without even a photograph.

The young Sean scrunched his eyebrows together, speaking adamantly into the microphone. I watched the wide eyes of the older boys that surrounded Sean, and they moved in closer with intense expressions. One boy, who looked like he was sixteen, straightened up and began to shout a cheer into the air. The other boys who were close by, followed the sixteen year old, and everyone in the shot was cheering and clapping Sean on the back. Flashes from various unseen cameras, flickered on the screen and tears of joy filled my eyes as I smiled at my boy's victory. When the camera zoomed in on Sean's beaming face, I paused the video, touching the pixels that made up his face.

I was definitely still the 'rain' if he was the 'ground'. I would do whatever it took to make sure that I could hold my boy and kiss him again.  

-End Part Two
***Author's Note - I have been working on the third and final part to this story for several months. I have written and rewritten the end to this tale so may times that I feel like I need a break. I feel like this tale should end in a way that is comfortable and feels right instead off putting something out there that OI don't like. I hope this makes sense to you who have sent hundreds of emails about this story and I hope you can wait just a little longer. Thanks!

Paramoe

Please send me comments! I want to know what you liked or disliked! paramoe1954@hushmail.com***

>>>For a complete list of my stories, go to
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