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Chapter 5: Politics

“My Lord?”

The voice brought me back from my memories. Cara and Cali
were rinsing my hair when I opened my eyes, and Cara quickly
wiped my brow to keep the water from running into them. I
looked at the foot of the bath and acknowledged my
Chamberlain, Vincent.

Seeing he had my attention, Vincent spoke again. “My Lord,
The Earl of Derry requests an audience with you. And he is
accompanied by a Royal Courier.” Vincent didn’t seem
thrilled with this particular fact. I knew how he felt. I
strongly suspected why Tomas was here.

“Escort the Earl and his associate to the Green Room.
Explain that I will attend them within twenty minutes. Also
instruct Kaylene to join us. And provide a bottle of the
Bordeaux from two years ago for refreshment. I know the Earl
has enjoyed that one.”

Vincent bowed slightly. “Aye, M’Lord. I shall see to it.
Umm, is Kaylene summoned to . er. entertain the Courier, or
is she Your Attendant?” We both knew what he meant.
Sometimes I would have one of my Maidens use her charms to
distract an unwelcome guest, and allow me the opportunity to
speak freely with others. But more often, I summoned them
for their insight and opinions, and to have someone to
discuss the problem with after my guests had departed.

“Inform her I need her Attendance this evening. Ask her to
bring a scribe, as well.”

“Yes, m’Lord.” Vincent took his leave to see to the Earl,
and summon Kaylene.

I stood in the tub and let Cara wrap a towel around my
shoulders, then stepped from the water. I stepped down from
the platform and Cali began to briskly dry my lower body, as
Cara quickly dried and combed my hair. My hair hangs to my
shoulders, and Cara quickly wrapped it in a warrior’s braid,
then tied it together with a gold chain. Meanwhile, Cali
finished her ministrations with a gentle kiss to my groin. I
chuckled and gave her a gentle swat for her cheekiness, and
she looked up with a teasing grin. Then she stepped back and
went to fetch my garments.

I was quickly dressed in a soft cotton shirt of dark red,
and leather breaches. A pair of good boots and a thick
leather belt finished my attire. Then I strode through the
halls of my home to the Green Room. On my way Kaylene caught
up with me and looped her arm through mine. I looked behind
her and saw the scribe hurrying to catch up. As I expected,
it was Kaylene’s 12-year-old sister Lydia. I slowed down
slightly to let her catch up. “Good eve Lydia. I see your
sister has decided to put you to work.”

Kaylene just grinned, but Lydia spoke up. “Aye, M’Lord. She
said she wanted the best, and I know who that is.” She may
have been teasing her sister, but the fact was that Lydia
was a very fast and accurate scribe. I’d seen her attend a
Ducal court and her record had been more correct then the
official Court Scribe. Of course, I hadn’t told that to
either of them.

As we stopped before the Green Room door, Kaylene let go of
my arm and stepped back to her “proper” place, and her
sister took her place behind her. Then the doorman opened
the door and announced us. “His Grace, Duke Alexander of
Warrington, Lady Kaylene and Young Lady Lydia.”

As we entered the two men waiting within stood. The younger
man bowed, the much older one merely dipped his head with a
smile. “Good eve, My Lord Duke. Thank you for meeting with
us,” Earl Tomas said. Then he did bow slightly to the ladies
as they both curtsied to him. “Lady Kaylene, you are looking
as lovely as ever. I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure of
Lady Lydia’s acquaintance. I do suspect a family connection,
though.”

Lydia blushed slightly at the older man’s courtesy. And the
resemblance was actually very pronounced. Though Kaylene was
almost nine years older then her sister, they both had the
same pale brown complexion, sparkling brown eyes and
upturned nose. Lydia’s was slightly off center though, due
to a too rough game of ragball, and a goalkeeper that used
her face that morning several years ago. (Goddess, I adored
tomboys) They both shared hair that was a lustrous black,
Kaylene’s flowing over her shoulders and down her back,
Lydia’s cut very short.

“The Ladies are sisters, as I doubt not you suspected,” I
said with a smile. “So, Tomas, what brings you out here to
Caradine Castle?”

“His Majesty, King Garret, has a problem that he hopes you
will be able to assist him with.”

At his words, the Royal courier spoke for the first time.
“My Lord Earl, this is hardly a matter to be discussed
before a pair of gossipy females! I think it would be best
if the ‘Ladies,’” and I could hear the sneer in his voice,
“Made their departure and allowed the Gentlemen to speak
freely.”

Earl Tomas had the good manners to be embarrassed by his
companion’s outburst. I now knew why Garret had sent this
particular courier, though. He needed to have his head
ripped out of his ass and presented to him on a platter. And
Garret knew I would not hesitate to oblige. Kaylene and
Lydia just settled back to watch the explosion that was
about to rip an uppity Court functionary apart.

“And you are, good sir?” I asked with polished aplomb.

“Francis, son of Albrecht. Baronet of Siddoway.”

“Ahh, Siddoway. You are one of Marquise Eleanor’s vassals,
then. I’ll have to invite her to visit me again soon. A
lovely woman, and very intelligent. Wouldn’t you agree,
Baronet Francis?”

Then I leaned toward him with eyes flashing like an angry
dragon. “Or do you believe your Liege Lady to be a gossipy
female with no business in the affairs of men? Answer
quickly, m’Lord, we wouldn’t want you to spare the feelings
of these Ladies. Lydia, take notes, and make them
retroactive.” She looked at me and swallowed in surprise.
This was something I’d never done to her. But I knew she had
every word that had been spoken so far memorized. And she
would have no difficulty transcribing every syllable.

I turned back to the courier as the scratch of quill against
parchment began behind me. “Do you truly believe that the
Marquise hasn’t been informed of what we are to discuss? His
Majesty trusts her as fully as he relies on Earl Tomas and
myself. In fact, the only reason the Marquise isn’t here
now, is because the problem is too close at hand for her to
go traveling.”

I reached toward the Baronet and almost chuckled when he
flinched back. Apparently, he knew my reputation even from
Siddoway. Good. He should be praying to the goddess that I
didn’t show him what I was really like. I brushed an
imaginary hair from his collar. “Now, Lydia, please read me
your transcription.” As she read it back to us, her voice
carried every inflection and pause of our conversation.
“Thank you Lydia.” I turned and smiled at her while the
courier looked confused.

“Now, Kaylene, if you would. Fetch the good Baronet’s
documents from him. Let’s see what His Majesty has to say.”

The Baronet foolishly chose to be stubborn. “NO! His Majesty
instructed me to place these documents only in your hands
when I thought it safe to do so!”

“Kaylene, don’t injure the good Baronet. But feel free to
hurt him. Oh, and Baronet Francis? Feel free to defend
yourself as you see fit.”

The baronet leapt to his feet and drew his dagger. “Fine,
M’Lord Duke. I had heard you were a champion of the fairer
sex. It will be a pleasure to make this one bleed for your
folly.” Then he attacked. I admit I was surprised to note
that the good Baronet was actually quite skilled with the
blade. It took Kaylene a full minute to disarm him, sprain
his shoulder and knee, and hand me the documents he carried.
I’d have bet on thirty seconds.  So I leaned over him and
patted his face like I would a foolish child. “Never insult
a member of my Household. If I bring someone into a room, it
should indicate to you that a.) I require them to be there.
And b.) That they are trusted for whatever matters will be
discussed. Keep this in mind. Next time, I’ll simply turn
them loose on you, and apologize to your liege over your
corpse. Lydia, open the door, please.” When she did, I
summoned the doorman. “Summon two slaves to escort the
Baronet to the Outer Hallway to await Earl Tomas’ departure.
Oh, and if his groans disturb you, you may, if you choose,
summon the priest.”

“Now, to business, Tomas,” I said when the four of us were
alone. “It is as I expected. Count Terrence of Gaiford is
causing problems for his father. He is demanding additional
tributes from his vassals in all categories. Especially men
at arms. His Majesty suspects that he intends to usurp the
Marquise Eleanor. And the Marquise won’t defend herself
against him out of loyalty to his father.” I stood in a
fury. “Goddess curse the man! You know I love Garret, but
why can’t the man keep his cock out of the Nobility’s
pussy!?!”


Lydia blushed at my words, but Kaylene only chuckled. “The
problem, M’Lord, isn’t who he ravishes. It’s the fact he is
so damned fertile. And then so stupidly guilt ridden. It
would be easier if he would settle for a  series of
baronetcies. Or even better, knighthoods. But no, he has to
acknowledge each bastard with a major holding and title. But
that is neither here nor there at the moment. What does His
Majesty require of you, besides advice?”

Tomas spoke up. “His Majesty wishes the Duke to visit his
son. To advise him that his intentions are in fact known,
and if necessary, steps will be taken to calm the matter.
And His majesty would prefer a non-military solution to the
problem.”

“In other words, we don’t want a  civil war inside the
Kingdom. Instead, if it proves necessary, I am to use my
skills in negotiation to end the problem as I see fit.” We
all knew that meant an assassination. This wasn’t the first
time Garret had requested these services of my Dukedom. But
this was the first time a civil matter had caused such a
decision.

“His Majesty understands that these are desperate options.
But he advises me to explain that the intelligence he has
accrued would indicate that the Count’s success will
endanger the Duchy of Warrington. Apparently, the count has
no love for you or your progressive ideas.” He looked at the
sisters when he said this, and I knew what he meant.

“So, because I believe a woman to have merit beyond her cunt
and tits, he fears me.” Lydia again looked shocked at my
words, but I suspected it was more my phrasing then my
sentiment. “And I suppose he has allies that feel similarly?
Good. It will put all their nuts in the crusher when I
appoint a woman as Countess of Gaiford. Well, when Garret
appoints her.” They all knew I was more honest the first
time. “So does Terrence have any sisters we can prepare for
the post?”

“No, but he reportedly has a bastard daughter that he treats
ill. I believe she is four. Intelligence states she lives
within his castle, the daughter of a formerly favored
concubine. I believe the concubine had a fatal accident
shortly after giving birth.”

“I see. All right, M’Lord Tomas, this is what I need from
Garret. Have His Majesty inform his son, Count Terrence that
I will be visiting him six weeks from Sunday. That a force
of arms consisting of twenty each light, medium and heavy
horse, and thirty footmen will accompany me. Oh and also the
usual accompaniment of camp followers and ladies of ease.”
Here the good Earl’s eyebrows raised slightly, but he said
nothing. “Also, Garret is to request and require that the
girl child…hmm, find out her name, please Tomas; anyway,
that the girl child will be presented to me so I may
determine her good health for His Majesty and possibly
extend an invitation to attend my Court until she reaches
her majority.”

“That will twist Terrence’s codpiece.” The earl said with a
smile. “I like it, to be honest. And what happens if you are
forced to attend to matters best left unspoken?”

“Then a regency will be put in place until the girl reaches
her majority. And the people of County Gaiford will get used
to a female ruler.”
