   Pedo. Incest.
   
   Disclaimer: The children described here are perfect, ideal, and completely imaginary. Reality can never be this good. In prison, child molesters are used as human toilets.
   
  So Innocently
   by Pedro Feelya
   
   It started so innocently. I met a girl, and she said her name was Jade. I met her in a grocery line at the small local grocery market. She was buying a pack of cigarettes. I commented on how such a beautiful girl shouldn't risk her health. She smiled and agreed. "I know. I've been trying to stop since I started. Do you really think I'm beautiful?"
   "Are you kidding? I must be the third guy today to tell you that." She was actually stunning in a dramatic sort of way. Her jet black hair and dark toned skin was interrupted by her dazzling white smile. Her features were chiseled and sharp, and everything drew attention to her. 
   It was her turn to face the cashier. She paid in exact change from her oversized purse.
   "No," she said as the cashier rang my stuff up. "Guys sometimes look at me. But not many talk to me. I was going to go across the street to get a cup of coffee."
   "Great, I would love to join you, if that's all right." The old and dour cashier paid us no attention.
   She waited as I paid for my stuff, and we made our way across the street together. She ordered an espresso and I got a cappuccino. I paid and she found us a nice quiet corner. 
   We had a lot in common. We had each left home at an early age; to get away from our parents. We had never finished high shool, but were doing well in our jobs. I had just become Assistant Superintendent for a local construction firm. She had just made assistant manager at a nearby discount store. We were both having trouble finding a decent place to rent. 
   She said her name was Jade, even though there was nothing green about her. Much later I found out that her real name was Jodie. 
   I was very late to get to a friend's house so I asked her if she was going to be here at the coffee shop the next day. She said yes, but I doubted it. I said, "I know you probably won't be here. You are too beautiful to really be interested in me.
   "We'll see." She replied.
   I left, still doubting, but it had been a nice couple of hours talking to her.
   The next day I was early to the coffee shop and had already ordered her espresso. It was cold by the time I decided she wasn't going to show. I stood to go just as she rushed in the door, red faced and out of breath. She looked around and saw me standing, probably with a surprised look on my face. 
   "Oh my god", she said, "I am sorry I'm late. I just couldn't get away."
   I smiled at her. "Wow. That was quite an entrance."
   I invited her to sit down and I took her espresso to get it warmed up, and I bought myself another cappuccino. We talked all afternoon and then went to get dinner. 
   After dinner she agreed to see a movie, so I drove us to the theater. After the movie I drove her home. I wanted to open the car door for her but she met me outside, closing the door behind her. I didn't know what to do, standing there like a fool. I wasn't going to shake her hand, so I leaned in to give her a peck on the cheek. She misinterpreted my intention and turned her head. I kissed her full on the lips. It was long, lingering kiss; a kiss that shouldn't have happened. 
   The kiss ended and began again. Forever later she slowly pulled away and caught my hand, dragging me behind her. She led me up to a tiny apartment. It was a mess. There were clothes all over the floor and half empty bags of snacks everywhere. Every surface of the tiny kitchen was piled high with dishes. I didn't care. I just wanted to be with her some more. Inside the door we kissed some more and rubbed our bodies together. We tripped across the room as we kissed. We landed on the bed still kissing and rubbing against each other. We separated only to strip each other. I paused to look at her naked body. I groaned as I gazed upon heaven. She didn't misinterpret my appreciation of her body and grabbed my hardening dick and pulled me down on top of her. We kissed, we licked, we sucked, and we fucked. 
   Within two weeks we managed to find time between marathon sex sessions to find a larger apartment for us. At first I didn't mind the messiness, the moodiness, and her lack of attention to common everyday things. After a month, it was starting to become a problem. She paid very little attention to time. She could barely care for herself, neglecting to shop for food and necessities, ignoring bills, and being overly dangerous. She did not handle criticism well, if at all, and would not consider changing anything about her habits. 
   The fighting began. Making up was always celebrated with marathon sex, but soon I couldn't take any more. By the third month we tolerated each other, but we knew that it had to end soon. That was when we figured out that she was pregnant. She said she was on the pill, and she had the pills, she just didn't bother to take them. For me, this was not an unfixable tragedy. I believed in abortion and she wasn't religious either. 
   But, Jade did not want to abort the fetus. No reason, she just wanted to have this baby. I argued endlessly and became very desperate. Then I became aware that there was something very wrong with Jade. 
   Jade became very paranoid. First of people around us, then of people we had never met. She lost her job at the store. The stories she told became more unreal. Groups I had never heard of were following her. When she started to hear the voices they implanted in her head, I realized the she was schizophrenic. 
   I asked Jade if she had ever taken medications and she said that she had when she was younger, but then she had gotten better. Then worse. Then better again. 
   We started trying to stay apart as much as possible. Eventually I kind of moved out to a friend's apartment, but came back every couple of days to check on her and pick up a few things. The distance between us helped a lot and we were able to get along. I thought that at some point she would change her mind, but she never did. 
   Months went by and we didn't prepare for the baby. I don't think she even saw a doctor. By the ninth month I was with her every day, and came to the apartment one day to find her gasping in pain on the floor. 
   I got to drive as fast as I wanted to the emergency room. Jade was in labor for 5 hours, wouldn't take any drugs, and screamed the whole time. 
   Our daughter was born healthy and Jade didn't seem to care. I named her Danielle, a name I had always liked. 
   Jade barely listened to the nurses describing how to care for our baby. I knew that we had a problem. 
   I moved back into the apartment. Often I would come home to find Dana (Danielle) crying and neglected. Jade never took to breastfeeding. 
   Two weeks later I came home to some of her stuff missing, a note, and Dana crying in the bedroom. I took care of Dana's dirty diaper and feeding, and then I read the note. Jade wrote that she felt that Dana had won my affections and that I no longer loved her. She would stay out of our lives and leave us to be together forever. 
   I had to take what FMLA leave and vacation my work would give me. Caring for Dana was not a full time job, but took most of the day and night. I thought a lot about giving Dana up for adoption; I just couldn't do it. Dana was mine, and a piece of Jade. I loved her too much.
   After my leave ran out I had to quit my job. I had been picking up a lot of handyman work around the apartments, and the manager was willing to give me full time work and free rent. I could work around Dana's needs as long as I was willing to work all hours of day and night. I had found several of the older ladies in the apartments who loved to care for Dana a few hours.  I also picked up a lot of work fixing appliances for people.  Within a couple years I became the manager of a larger apartment complex and moved in. I still had a tiny apartment, but it was big enough for the two of us. The job allowed me to spend almost all of my time with Dana.
   It all started so innocently. Dana slept with me in the same bed from the day she was born. We didn't have room for a crib. Sometimes she made a mess, but it was easy enough to change the sheets. 
   I had always slept nude. I was raised where the climate was warm and only rich people could afford air conditioning all night long. We were too poor to even have air conditioning. When I was young I wore my underwear to bed, pajamas were too warm. When I became a little older, I thought girls would think it was sexy if I slept nude, so I stopped wearing underwear to bed. Now, the idea of wearing pajamas was uncomfortable. 
   Before Dana learned to walk, I bathed her in a plastic tub and we had great fun splashing around. By the time she could walk, she had outgrown the tub and I would carry her into the tiny apartment shower with me. Our apartment at the time was too small for a bathtub. I would rub down Dana's entire body as she laughed at the spray. Sometimes, I would then let her out to run, but most of the time she wanted to stay as I washed myself. She loved the spray on her head as she played around my feet. This ritual continued after she learned to talk, and even after she could shower herself. 
   Maybe we have stopped showering together but it was so gradual, and we completely enjoyed our time together while playing in the shower. It all started so innocently. I don't remember when she started to wash me as I washed her. At first she just washed my legs and feet, or my chest as I held her. When she became tall enough, she began washing my butt like I had with her. She also washed under my balls and around my dick. She did it innocently, not aware that this might be taboo. It would feel strange to forbid her, or even bring attention to the significance of my genitals. She was just washing me like I had washed between her legs since she was born. This happened so gradually that she never paid any attention to what she was doing, and it didn't usually give me a hard on. Sometimes I would become half hard, a quarter hard, or full hard. This happened enough that she never questioned what it was or why. It was just natural.
   I could never be lonely when I was with Dana, but I didn't date or even look for women. I was either too busy or too tired. I also felt undesirable, bringing with me the extra challenge of a child. This didn't curb the needs of a man's body in his twenties. I masturbated often, in bed at night, with fantasies about impossibly perfect women.
   When she was a baby, Dana would sleep through it, or awaken to cry. By the time she could talk, I would sometimes look over to see her awake and watching me casually. At first I was terribly uncomfortable, but later it made me warm to see that she so innocently accepted what I considered was a shameful part of me. I wasn't excited by her watching me, and I wasn't showing off, it was just something I didn't have to go to pains to hide. But, as she had watched me pump my hand up and down my penis, she had learned something. 
   At first, it was almost nothing. I always slept nude even though she always wore underwear and sometimes a T-shirt. I would awaken some nights to find her hand wrapped gently around my penis. She was three and a half and her hand was large enough to firmly grip my limp manhood.
   Occasionally, she had briefly held my penis in the shower. Especially, when I sometimes had a hard-on, but just to steady herself. She would let go as if it were just like grabbing my hand. Awakening to find her hand around my penis wasn't too disturbing, but it was the first sexual thing she had done, even if she didn't understand it. I couldn't wake her up and scold her or make her feel bad about it. But, she was just holding a part of me that she had innocently touched many times before. She wouldn't understand, and I didn't want to hurt her. It was all so innocent.
   This happened two or three times a week for a couple months. During this time I continued to masturbate as I needed to, careful not to involve her. One evening, when she was almost four, we were watching a movie together. We always sat together in my recliner. It was big enough that she could snuggle in beside me. Sometimes she sat in my lap or leaned back against my chest. Sometimes I developed a hard-on, but because she hadn't caused it, and I didn't think about it, it would soon go away. She never noticed it more than my foot or hand. We both spent our evenings only wearing our underwear as usual. 
   Even though it wasn't near our bedtimes, we were both sleepy from the long day we had. Sometimes we had fallen asleep like this, until I woke up and carried her to our bed. Tonight was not going to be an exception. We were snuggled in side by side and slightly facing each other. I was fading in and out when I became aware that she had wrapped her hand around my half limp member through my underwear. I was at least half asleep. 
   This was the first time I caught her consciously reaching for my penis. I should have removed it to let her know it was wrong, but it felt comfortable as it always did, and I faded out before I could decide. Later, I awoke with her hand still firmly holding my dick as she snored softly against my shoulder. I didn't want to wake her so I gently carried her to bed. I was just so innocent.
   This slowly became a habit. When she had the opportunity and we were near naked, she would hold my penis like a security blanket, even if it meant her pulling it out of my underwear. Pretty soon I stopped noticing. It just didn't mean anything. It was more convenient then her holding my hand. Sometimes she accidentally rubbed it enough to give me a hard-on, but she didn't seem to think that was important or connected.
   Dana was almost five when I woke up with a raging painful erection. This was nothing new, it happened almost every night. This was different. I thought Dana was just shifting the position of her hand, but it was different. She was exploring the soft skin as it slid up and down the shaft. When she pressed her thumb to the underside of the head it jerked involuntarily. This was why my cock was rock hard and straining till it hurt. 
   Dana wasn't rubbing it or stoking it like she had seen me masturbate it hundreds of times. She explored how far it would lean to each side and down. She squeezed the base were it met muscles and pelvic bone. She was just innocently examining it, not doing anything sexual.
   When she ran her fingers up the soft veins on the underside I couldn't help but thrust my hips up and gasp. I had to get control of myself. 
   There was no doubt now that she knew I was awake. She looked at my face in the very dim light. She was just looking at what I paid so much secret attention to. I couldn't scold or punish her, she had done nothing wrong. I couldn't hide it or forbid her, or she would understand it as a naughty thing or guess its secret purpose. 
   In the shower she had washed it a hundred times and felt it in all different stages of erection, but this was different. She was really paying attention to it. 
   With all this going through my mind, she must have interpreted my pause as an ok. She continued to give it a casual going over, holding it in different positions in her hand. Then, holding it in her favorite way, she snuggled in tight next to me and soon started breathing slowly. I lay there completely awake. I could sort of feel my dick pulsing in her hand. I had come so near to ejaculation, my balls ached. I could never fall asleep now.
   After forever, I carefully removed Dana's hand and rolled over to grab the hand towel and hand lotion. I tried to be extra quiet has my hand slurped quickly up and down my rod. I came hard almost immediately. I tilted my head back and sighed with relief as I rested. As I reached over for the towel, I looked over toward Dana. She was watching me, fully awake, and in the near darkness, I could almost swear I saw a smile on her face; like when she had won a board game. 
   "Daddy?"
   "Princess?" I was worried she would ask something embarrassing.
   "I love you."
   "I love you too baby." She was just so innocent.
   She snuggled in close and now that I had release, I quickly fell asleep holding her.
