Selena and Joe was a popular story and it really hit home for me and rolled off the keyboard easy because I knew how it would end. I lost a few friends in the 911 attacks and the characters Joe and Selena were based on them. To this day I get emails from people who want me to change the ending and continue the story, or give it a heroic ending. I never gave much thought to either until a regular reader and voter of my stories sent me a newspaper article from The Daily Mail in the UK of a man who was "gone" for 5 years and woke up as if nothing happened. I didn't have a lot of inspiration for this story at the beginning but after some due-diligence on the subject I began to see possibilities. I spent an afternoon talking with a psychiatrist and a clinical psychologist to discuss different treatments for some of the maladies you will read about here. (a male and a female from the same practice) There is no one drug induced, surgical, electronic or shock therapy that works for any one mental disorder. The particular clinician I spoke with did not believe drugs beyond simple anti-depressants for calming and continued human interaction with other patients and an understanding clinician helped to cure the conditions discussed here. Even she admitted that no one treatment is the right one. "As long as one's memory is still there, the capacity for recovery of the human brain is remarkable."

After reading the story through the first 12 chapters where I use the  medical situations based on the provided information, with Selena they both agreed it was plausible, possible, but improbable mainly because it's hard to fathom someone could fall between the cracks like that. As for Joe's malady, "it could happen and has for as many as a few (2 to 4) years, but nine years would be a real stretch. The male doctor said the story was "hot and interesting", the female said she liked it but didn't think it would be "that dirty".

If you really like Joe and Selena, open your mind a bit for some editorial exaggeration and vote accordingly.

I hope you enjoy the story............petty





Prologue

"Betty, I'm going for a walk and to check on the house!" Scott Hanson yelled out as he opened the door and waited for his wife to acknowledge his leaving.

OK Hon, but don't be too long. Don't sit and mope and let it tear you up anymore. I hate the anniversary. Every year it seems to take more out of us that the year before." She spoke from the top of the stairs where she had walked to see him leave.

9/11/2010 had been just what Scott and Betty Hanson had thought it would be, a reliving of the memory of the day 9 years ago when it became painfully obvious by days end that their daughter and her new husband were lost in the fall of the towers of the World Trade Center. In the ensuing days they would learn of Joe and Selena's marriage on 9/10 to help facilitate a real estate deal that seemed to be the last electronic transfer of monies and ownership to come out of the two behemoth towers that fell at the hands of terrorists. A quickie on-line will was signed the evening of their marriage, a simple case of Joe Johnson not letting any t go uncrossed or i undotted. That will left all of their worldly possessions to Selena's parents, who were the only relatives they had. There were specific instructions to arrange that everything, especially the real estate holdings, stock and bonds, be eventually left to an endowment for PolyTech. Joe and Selena probably laughed at the thought of Scott and Betty Hanson owning Joe Johnsons little palace at the top of their street and the 3 other homes they had just closed on, as well as a few million in holdings. 

Scott and Betty took a long time before they considered the windfall as a gift from their daughter, her legacy to them. They thought they would make the endowments on their deaths and enjoy what they could while they lived. But, that lifestyle was not for them. Ross Curran and Slim (Chielm Beupour) managed the stocks and bonds for them as well as hired services to maintain the properties they bought as their dying act. Scott and Betty visited the house in Maine, but never ventured to the others. All were leased and brought in more money. They lived comfortably, but not extravagantly. Their one weakness was visiting the house where their daughter and Joe lived. They kept the pool open as long as they could each season and often prepared meals there hoping that some spirit of their daughter and her husband would be there with them.

Although they never spoke of it, both Scott and Betty often went to the house alone and lay on the bed where their daughter had slept and made love. They hugged the pillow and the bed clothes she had put underneath the pillow her last night there. Although any scent of their daughter was probably long gone, it still smelled like Selena. They often wept and spoke to her spirit, hoping she might hear. As sad as it sounded, it was very therapeutic and maybe the one thing that got them through the 9 years since.

Of course they loved and missed Joe as well, if not for any other reason than that he worshipped and took such great care of their daughter. He made her so happy and changed her life, made her drive to her goals. Where Scott had pshawed in his mind the idea Joe had put forth that God had put each of them here together for each other, he believed it more than ever now.

As he got to the blind drive that led to Joe Johnsons home he noticed that he needed to trim some branches on the trees that semi-hid the drive. He made a note to himself that he would do that when he came up to mow and trim in a few days. Scott kept up the yard and Betty the inside of the house, what little it was used. Selena's white Mustang with a red tonneau vinyl roof sat on blocks in the garage waiting for her return to drive down the street, her blonde hair flowing in the breeze. Removing the car, or selling it would be to close the book, and they had no intention of that.

Scott walked up to the rear gate and checked to be sure it was secure before unlocking it and entering. He feared kids might sneak in to use the pool. He rolled back the cover on the pool to be sure no vermin were in the pool before he ran the filter overnight. Tomorrow he planned to start closing it for the season. He checked the locks on the cabana and walked to the sliding doors and walked inside, wishing he heard the bustle of teletypes and computers like before, but all was quiet. Scott walked down though the garage to be sure all was fine and then made his stop at the bedroom. He sat on the edge of the bed and laid back, pulling her pillow to his face, inhaling deeply.

"My little girl was protected from everything I could think of, and I left her in the hands of someone who may have loved her more than me. He protected her from everything we could both think of, but neither of us could think of what DID happen. It was the unthinkable, I am so, so sorry Selena." He said to himself as if the pillow might hear and relay the message to her.  
 He put the pillow neatly back on top of the bedclothes she had laid there and went to the bar to pour himself a short after drink to toast her spirit, as he did each time he came to the house. He flipped on the TV to get the last of the news and maybe a local drop-in with the nights forecast.

The anchor, Jim Jimpson, was billboarding the last segment of the news.

"This story is not to give anyone false hope,, but to maybe bring some joy to a heartbroken family out there. Our Lance McNally reports;

"Dissociative Fugue State is a mental affliction commonly diagnosed as Multiple Personality Disorder or amnesia. Although some countries have almost no cases of DFS there is a nominal percentage of people diagnosed in the US to make some think that the disorder is either over-diagnosed or perhaps non-existent. In any event, those said to suffer with it sometime end up with total memory loss of their past and wake each day as a different personality, a personality so complex that doctors feel that it may be that of, or as, a significant person in the persons past life. The Edison Mental Studies Clinic in Seagirt, New Jersey is a small campus that was formerly a summer resort that now houses 60 so called "DFS patients".  (The camera pans away from McNally to a group of small buildings with a long brick building in the center) One of those patients, however, has caused quite a stir because he has now kept the same unwavering personality for almost 3 weeks and is totally convinced that he survived the 911 attack in the first tower hit and wandered away with his wife, whom he asks for despondently each day now. His name checks out as one thought to be a victim of the attacks that day and the information he is supplying match's the victim. Yet, how likely is it that a person could have walked away, especially with his injuries, and gotten this far?"

The screen fills with the face of a middle aged woman with her name placard across the bottom of the screen. DR. JOANNE CULVER PHD Head Client Supervisor. 

"He was found homeless is Wiggins Waterfront Park in Camden where he frightened the other homeless so much, because of his ever changing personality's that they brought him to the social worker who regularly checked on them. He had a large scar on his head, like he had been attacked or in a fight, and he could barely walk, his knees were so bad. We cleaned him up and got him stabilized and since put him through a couple knee replacement operations. "John" (not his real name) has never been stable enough to move from here into society and remains a ward of the state. Lately he's been with a limited number of the more stable in the population here to socialize and seems to be quite a ladies' man, but gets along with everyone in his cluster. But now this latest personality he has taken up has depth far beyond anything we have seen in this disorder." 

Lance McNally continues: "Is there a possibility that he is who he says he is and has total memory recall of his whole life? Statistics say no, only because it's never happened before. His fingerprints and DNA have drawn no matches. We're hoping someone see's this story and recognizes him, keeping in mind he's been here since Thanksgiving 2001."

The brief look Scott had at the man in the story stunned him. The look was a bit different, but familiar. He recalled the first time he saw his face answering the door the first time he came to pick up his daughter more than 12 years ago.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ah, you must be Selena's father. My name is Joe Johnson, I'm here for her, and we're going to dinner and a concert." Joe said a bit nervously.

Scott Hanson extended his hand and shook Joe's and invited him in.

"Selena, your date is here." He yelled up the stairs.

A voice from a room off the upstairs landing yelled back.

"I  KNOW! Someone's early." Came her peeved voice.

Scott turned to Joe and half smiled. Before he could say anything Joe spoke up.
"I came bit early to meet you so you would know who she was with, so you wouldn't have to worry. I'm really quite taken with your daughter, she's quite special."

"Special she is! She's said that she was seeing someone she also thought was special. I know that you haven't pressured her into being lax on her studies to see each other and I commend you for that. She says you had a similar experience."

"Yes, I did. I was pushed ahead 2 years and also went to PolyTech. As a matter of fact, the think tank she will be on Wall Street for is one I wanted for a long time. I envy her in that situation, but I know the tough time she is having right now. The first half semester of the third year is a grinder."

Scott wore the same half smile from before.

"I know you two haven't been seeing each other long, but your intentions are clear if I read the two of you right. She's elusive when I ask your age, but I can see you're at least 30. I also know you run your family's construction company and you are a Wall Street bird dog. So, I don't think you're a hound. Just be honest with her, and with me. She's still my little girl, no matter what."

"Don't worry Mr. Hanson I . . . ." Joe started to say before he stopped and stared.

Selena was coming down the stairs in a long dress that hugged her curves; a wine colored affair with gold accents and buttons. Her hair was up with wispy locks falling at the sides.

Scott Hanson turned to see what had caught Joe's attention and he smiled.

"I guess I will never get used to how beautiful you are." Joe said to Selena. "I will be so proud to go anywhere with you knowing that every man who sees you will do a double take. You are that breathtaking."

Selena blushed deeply and looked at her father for reaction. Mr. Hanson kept looking first at Selena, and then at Joe, trying to read their eyes and reactions. It was clear that the attraction and electricity between the two was palpable.

Joe walked from his position where he was talking to Mr. Hanson to the bottom step and extended his hand. Selena took it, smiled and kissed Joe right on the lips.

"You look quite handsome yourself, thank you. 
Mom!! Come see how handsome my Joseph is!!" She yelled up the stairs.

Joe blushed himself as he saw the attractive Mrs. Hanson come to the top of the stairs and begin stepping down.

"Hello, I'm Betty Hanson and I'm so pleased to meet you, Joe." Selena's Mom said as she extended her hand.
 
Joe cordially extended his hand and then turned to Selena and offered his arm.
 
"We should go so we can park and be there for our table. It's been so nice to meet you both." Joe said as he whisked Selena to the door.

"Don't be too late!" Scott Hanson hollered as they went off the porch.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"How could this be?" Scott thought as his mind reeled and he fell back into the stool he had been sitting at like he had been struck in the stomach.

His mind raced at thinking this was at all possible; that he be alive and that he knew about his daughter's fate and demise. He felt a certain joy that Joe might be alive, but more importantly, did Selena survive as well? Did he have answers?

He fumbled for the DVR to rewind and get the name of the facility the story was done from and the name of a person he could speak to. He hadn't even called Betty yet, but he was dialing the phone for the number of The Edison Mental Studies facility.

Once he got through and asked for Dr. Culver there was a wait and Scott knew his heart was racing and his breathing became labored and heavy in anticipation.

JC: "Hello, this is Dr. Culver, is this call in response to the TV news?"

SH: "Yes, who does this man claim to be?"

JC: "Might I ask YOUR name first?"

SH: "Certainly, my name is Scott Hanson. I believe this man is my son in law."

JC: "What is his name?"

SH: "I believe that the man I saw in the story is Joe Johnson."

JC: "Tell me something about Joe Johnson that only a person close to him might know."

SH: "I know you said he had knee replacements, but he has a large wide scar on the back of his right knee."

JC: "Can you give me a few moments? Let me see what his reaction to your name is."

Scott Hanson thought he might pass out from anticipation as he waited on hold for almost 5 minutes before Dr. Culver picked up again.

JC: "Mr. Hanson, do you think you could come here and speak to us sometime this week?"

SH: "I can be there tomorrow, my wife will be with me."

JC: "She would be Selena? He asked if she was coming."

SH: "No. Selena was his wife, my daughter. She died with him at the towers, or so I thought."

JC: (long pause)"I know, I thought they might share the same name. Umm, . . . . come to the gate and indentify yourselves and I'll meet you there tomorrow, morning or afternoon?"

SH: "Mid to late morning. If I remember correctly, you're about 4 hours from here, a little south of Asbury Park?"

JC: "Yes, that's it. If you have an email, I can send directions to the facility."

SH: "Yes, shanson@nysup.tw.com"

JC: "OK, I look forward to speaking to you."

Scott suddenly had the willies, spooked to the core as he rushed from the house and locked the door, almost running down Sheridan Avenue and up to his Decatur Avenue home. 

Betty was skeptical of the claims of the man, but was hopeful that there could be more closure on their daughter. Neither of them slept that night and were on the road by 
7 o'clock in order to get their before noon.

Chapter One

Scott and Betty Hanson pulled up to the high fenced facility and a guard came out of the security station and asked their business. He took both of their ID's and went to the phone and called to get clearance for entry. A few minutes later he directed them through the gate into a gated parking lot. He stood with them until a woman, the one he had seen on the TV piece, roll up in a large people cart to whisk them away.

"I'm Dr. Culver and I want to take you to my office so we can have a talk about the situation we have here. This quite possibly could be a ruse or sad prank, but I don't see how." She said as she zoomed the cart to a long building in the center of a number of small cottages.

"When can we see him? We have to . . . ." Betty started to say excitedly.

"Please wait until you hear everything I have to say. You may end up not wanting to see him or be unsure of his identity or condition." Dr. Culver said holding her hand up forcefully. She clearly didn't want there to be any false hopes and further heartbreak caused by the events of 9/11/01.

Once settled in her office with coffee and all relaxed in overstuffed leather chairs Dr. Culver began:

"A fugue state, formally Dissociative Fugue, sometimes called Psychogenic Fugue is a rare psychiatric disorder characterized by temporary amnesia for the subjects own identity, including the memories and  personality and other little tics and habits of that particular person. The state is usually brief, sometimes hours or days but has lasted, in some cases, months or longer. Dissociative fugue usually involves wandering, not knowing where to settle, and is sometimes accompanied by taking on a new identity. After recovery from fugue, previous memories usually return altogether, however there is complete amnesia for the fugue episode and the time passed. Additionally, an episode is not characterized as a fugue if it can be related to the ingestion mind altering drugs, physical trauma, to a medical condition, or a psychiatric condition like clinical depression, dementia, and bipolar disorder. Fugues are usually precipitated by a horrific episode that is sometime blocked out. We said in the story that "John" suffered from DFS, which is the reason he has been here all this time. When he woke up some three weeks ago and took this personality, to him it was September 12, 2001. Everything that happened to him since 9/11 is supposedly gone from his memory. We've spent a few hours each day for the last 16 days explaining to him what the world has gone through since the attacks. He appears to be coming to grips with that, understanding why he is here. He's a very smart man, whomever he is."

Dr. Culver paused to sip her coffee and catch her breath and saw both Hanson's eyes filled with questions and wonderment.

"No questions yet, let me continue." She said anticipating their eyes.

"In interviews and from a rambling statement he made under a drug induced semi-hypnotic state here is what we know, what he thinks and believes.

On the morning of 911 he and his wife met a lawyer and broker named Gordon Phelan in the Atrium lobby of the tower about 8:25 and opted to go to the Coffee Shop on the 68th floor. They were there to close a deal on property and Phelan knew he could plug his laptop into a hot connection there. His office was on the 80th floor, but he had everything drawn up and finishing the deal over coffee was his preference. He had accessed all of the monies and securities to close the deal the day before, he just needed to talk 
Umm. . . . .Selena?, into it. When she called her mentor, a Mr. Curran, he suggested that they be married at the time of the deal; just to be sure she was protected. That was why they secretly married the night before."

Betty Hanson broke down crying and Dr. Culver stopped her recitation of notes.

"If this is too stressful, we can do it without you, or we can take a break." Dr. Culver asked.

"No,  . . . please go on. I couldn't be any more distressed or upset than I've been at any other time in the last 9 years." Betty answered between the tears as Scott took her hand and pressed it to his thigh, patting and rubbing it.

"Go on." Scott said.

"The deal was closed and they were talking when the attack started and it was apparent right away that there were major problems just above them. Gordon Phelan went to the stairwell, unsure of the elevator and told them to wait. A woman came running from one of the other offices and said they all had to get out of the building and they joined a rush in the stairwell as they all tried to field calls and see what was going on. He's unsure of some of the trip down the stairs because falling debris in the stairwell caused a panic and he went over a railing and down a flight and landed on people. He cut his face badly and didn't know if he could walk on his right knee anymore. He thinks he passed out but came to being carried by Selena and another woman. They were just holding his arms and dragging him between them, his arms draped over their shoulders. Firefighters on their way up wanted them to leave him and let the firemen rescue him, but Selena would have nothing of it. He's not sure of the floor where they followed a group to a bridge over an atrium and began to cross it when they felt it shudder. A group of men in maintenance uniforms called them back across the bridge, and showed them an exit door where they saw light from the outside. There was a terrace and staircase to the street. As they came across that terrace, Selena was now half dragging him alone. A body fell from the upper floors just beside them, splashing blood and whatever. Selena fell to her knees screaming and then looked around to see body parts and other rumpled masses of other people who apparently jumped rather than burn. They went to move one way and a sheet of glass came down, they tried to move another direction to the stairs to the ground and another body fell just in front of them. At this point Selena passed out and he took her over his shoulder and tried to go down the stairs, but his knees gave out and he slid down with her in tow." Dr. Culver said, becoming emotional herself as she looked up to check on Betty Hanson.

"Let's take a break here. I'm sorry to put you through this, but I can't let you see "John" until you know his whole story because we could lose him again. His diagnosis is so tentative; we don't know how to deal with him." Dr. Culver reasoned as she took the Hanson's to a porch where they could get some air.

Scott and Betty spoke but a few words to each other and they held each other's hand and tried to compose themselves. After 10 minutes Scott was anxious to hear the rest.

Back in the office, Dr. Culver continued reading from the transcript.

"He really expected there to be ambulances or something there but people were just rushing away from the scene as something else was happening, or had happened. (We assume that was the second building being hit) He was able to get to his feet and drag Selena, dodging falling debris and bodies. Everyone was shouting at him to RUN, RUN, RUN. Selena came to about this time and he told her that they had to run and get out of the area. This is where he gets real sketchy. He knows Selena was with him but she was mentally unstable, seeming to dodge falling things that weren't there. Then came the roar behind them and they turned to see the building falling, and the run for their lives began. Walking for what seemed hours they got to the Holland Tunnel and were told it was unsafe as they were clearing cars out as the streets were jammed shut. There were 6 or 8 of them together now and they stormed one of the firemen who were guarding the entrances. The small group pulled and dragged each other to the Jersey side where they met lots of others who had come through the tunnel. He found a spot between some cars to lay Selena down and try to reason with her, get her back to reality, but she was in deep shock. He found an ambulance crew caught in the logjam of cars and people and asked if they could tend to her. They told him they could take her, but they had no hope of moving for hours, but if and when they did they would bring her to Christian Hospital in Jersey City. He remembers little after that. He knows he stumbled and fell numerous times trying to get away hoping to get to Christian Hospital and wait for Selena to arrive.
 He saw a sign on the Pulaski Highway with a Hospital marker and he dragged himself up but tripped and took a long fall into a catch basin. He remembers laying there hearing the sounds of sirens and explosions and the next thing he remembers is waking up here almost 9 years later."

Dr. Culver looked up to a shocked pair of parents and said, "Now I should tell you, we don't know if the woman he dragged and left with the ambulance was actually your daughter, or if that even happened. We want you to talk to him and see if he is totally with it, knows a lot of other small details of his past where we don't have to doubt his memory. He has come to terms with the fact that 9 years have passed. That in itself gives credence to his mental stability. That should have drawn him back into DFS. But, he thinks that Selena is alive and on her way to get him. No one was admitted to Christian Hospital answering her description or name. No one passed through their morgue that went unidentified. We haven't thoroughly checked every other hospital in that area because we don't know if we are on a wild goose chase or not."

"Can we see him, talk to him?" Betty asked.

"Yes, but not before we tell him that Selena is not with you, and not before you watch him though a two-way mirror so you can be sure it is Joe Johnson. Some of the clients can get online and make up schemes and . . .I don't have to tell you the heartbreak this might cause. I want you to be sure." Dr. Culver expressed while jabbing her finger to the desk to accentuate her points.

Dr. Culver brought Scott and Betty Hanson into a viewing room off a small conference room. Once they were seated Dr. Culver had "John" brought into the room. The man who escorted him in was dressed in surgical greens. Joe seemed to be in good spirits and was friendly, seeming to joke with the orderly.

"Oh God, Scott, that's him!" Betty cried out. "Maybe our baby is alive somewhere!"

"That's him. He looks a little older, but he still has that charm, although he looks a little confused. Doctor, do you think he's OK mentally?" Scott asked.
"We THINK so, that's part of the reason why we wanted you here. Would you like to talk to him? The orderly is just going to tell him that Selena is not here with you." The doctor said.

A moment later Joe Johnson dropped his head. He looked up despondently and appeared to ask why.

The orderly sat with him and consoled him.

"He's telling him that we haven't found her yet and that, like him, everyone thought she perished in the attacks. He won't accept that, before you go in wait and see how he reacts." The doctor explained knowing the scenario the orderly was going to use.

Joe held up an open hand and pounded his forefinger into it making several points to the orderly. He wasn't violent, just forceful, and committed to what he knew, or thought he knew.

"Do you want to go in?" Dr. Culver asked.

"I do." Betty said. "He's our last gasp hope, and we love him for everything he did for our baby." Scott nodded in agreement as the doctor walked them to a secure door and opened it, and then turned into the room they had just viewed.

"Joe, you have two people here who are anxious to see you!" Dr. Culver said as Joe turned his head and leapt to his feet to hug Betty Hanson and pull Scott to his side.

He cried like a baby for a few minutes, they all did. After 5 minutes of crying and trying to compose each other, Joe looked at Scott Hanson. 

"I left her in good hands Scott. She was shook up, in shock, but she seemed physically fine except for a few bumps and bruises." Joe implored, not realizing how poor his judgment may have been at the time.

"You did all you could Joe. If she's out there, we'll find her." Scott said, surprisingly calm.

"Understand that they found her engraved ring the next February, and then later in March, a money clip she had given you. They were both in the rubble that they combed for remains. We were sure you both died, and that was proof." Betty added.

"You have to get me out of here, though." Joe said as if he hadn't heard a word she said.

"I'm working on that. Let's talk. I've been taking care of your house you know." Scott said to start a conversation.

From there Joe took off with a series of questions in detail about the house, it's amenities and quirks. He even noted that since they had given him new knees, the elevator might be able to come out. Scott asked him if he remembered the first time they met and Joe quickly recounted going to the Billy Joel show, his dinner with Selena and even what she wore. After a half hour Dr. Culver nodded to Scott and Betty that they should get going. Joe was adamant about going with them. This was where Dr. Culver stepped in.
"Joe Johnson, you realize that the world has changed greatly in 9 years and even with what you've seen here on TV and the like, life out of here will be a shock. We have kept you on medications for quite some time and have weaned you off most in the past week or so. Give me 3 or 4 more days to get you clean. If all goes well, you can leave with the Hansons then. Is that fair?" She asked him calmly.

Joe stopped and sat back closing his mouth tightly and exhaling deeply through his nose.

"Fair enough. Four days, . . tops! Right?" He asked.

"If all goes well, Joe. We can't take you otherwise." Betty said, hoping for the best.

"We will check every hospital anywhere near the Holland Tunnel or all of New Jersey if we have to. I can check the logs of who worked that day and find the ambulance crew you left her with. We'll do all we can, but don't get your hopes up. She would have contacted us if she was alive or at least OK, don't you think?" Scott asked trying to allay his own false hope as well as Joe's.

"Maybe we can turn her light on too. Look where I came from . . (tearing up) 9 years gone and so is Selena." Joe said as Betty comforted him saying,

"We'll see you in a few days Joe, and we'll pray for you and Selena."

Chapter 2

Scott and Betty hadn't packed for an overnight trip, so they drove back home and packed for a few days and were off for New Jersey the next morning hoping to get some questions answered. Their hopes were cautiously high that at the very least they might find a more fitting closure.

Going into the administration office at Christian Hospital in Jersey City with the story they had seemed a little crazy in itself, but it was all they had to go on. After a 90 minute wait they were able to get into to talk to a department head and luckily it was someone who was there and worked on 911. But, Shelly Peters seemed reluctant to help them out. The Hospital had recently went digital so old records were now saved and accessible through a data-base. Ms. Peters, feeling cornered, finally relented and agreed to bring up the information on the day

"OK, I see here who worked the ambulance crews that day and the times they logged in. One got the early call and was going over to help, obviously not knowing the magnitude of the situation. They didn't get cleared until after 7 pm that night and no one works 12 hour shifts on an ambulance. There were problems there for sure, this may be the one you want. Let me see, the medic on duty was E Richards. Emory Richards is now a surgical staffer now, but I do have his notes here. Let me see if he's in house right now. He may remember more if he can read his notes, besides I just have a picture of his handwritten log sheet and he may read it much better." Shelly said as she pored over the computer screen and punched her phone to page. 

 "One nineteen, dial three one seven. One nineteen, dial three one seven." was the page heard through-out the halls as the Hansons sat and waited while Shelly Peters tried to make sense of the notes.

After 3 or 4 minutes Shelly's phone rang and she nodded as she listened, then hung up.

"Dr. Richards is in surgery right now, but his staff nurse says he has a break after this procedure and he'll call me. If you could wait in the anteroom I'll call for you.
 Shelly told them."

It wasn't long before a tall, good looking man in surgical greens came in and walked past the secretary saying, "Shell paged me?" and opened the door to Peters office. 

Scott and Betty looked at each other and stood hoping to be paged in right away. Scott didn't want a word to be said, or opinion projected, out of his earshot. After a few second wait to be called, they walked right into the office despite the secretary's protest.

Dr. Richards was already crouched over Peters shoulder looking at his notes and Scott Hanson, in a very indignant tone, lashed out.

"Excuse me for barging in, but suddenly I get the feeling that there's a lot of ass covering here. I only want the truth and to find my daughter. Considering we've thought she was incinerated in the towers, anything is a plus. I'm not here to damn anyone, I'm only looking for answers. Edison Mental Studies asked you last week for information on a woman answering her description being admitted on 9/11 and were turned away. We've already established she was in an ambulance that should have brought her here. What gives?" He demanded.

Betty reached into her purse and took out a photo of Selena and held it up for Richards to see.

"Is this the woman that was brought to your ambulance on 9/11 while you were stuck in the Holland Tunnel traffic?" She asked.

Emory Richards stood up straight and exhaled deeply.

"Yes, that's her. Sit down and let me tell you what I remember and what I've written here in my notes."

"Before you start, is she alive? Do you know?" Betty Hanson asked, tears of hope streaming from her eyes.

"As far as I know, and the last I knew, yes." Emory answered, being non-committal, while Shelly Peters sighed in disgust.

"Understand, there was no primer for that day. We usually cruise the Pulaski Skyway until 9 or so to cover accidents and other calls. When the news of the first plane hit we decided to go over and see if we could help. There was a 911 mayday call for any ambulances in the area. We weren't aware of the magnitude of it all and got stuck in the tunnel traffic like 9:30. Nothing moved and around 10:30 or 11 we started to see people walking out of the tunnel, some abandoning cars, but some walking from the site. Those walking from the site all had blank looks of panic or terror and just had to head to their homes the only way possible. They were like zombies in a panic stupor, shocked. Everything else was stopped. We saw and treated some minor injuries as we waited for the traffic snarl to be undone. After seeing and hearing the buildings fall there was panic everywhere. I make no indications of time in my notes, but guessing I would say around11:30 we were told that people were no longer being allowed to "escape" New York through the tunnel, but they were short staffed to stop the crush. Everyone was being sent to the site. We started seeing people covered in the ash or whatever; people close to the site when the towers came down. The man who brought whom you say is your daughter was delirious to a point, but determined to keep going. He almost chanted "got to run, got to run". The woman could barely stand and held herself up on the man. He saw us and asked for help saying they had fallen down some stairs while getting out of the building, that he couldn't carry her anymore. She was a mess, almost catatonic and had several cuts. Her clothes were pretty bloody when you looked close, they were dark. He, he was frantic, wanting to run, but wanting to know where we would take her. I wondered how far he could get; his one knee was so twisted as he tried to run. He knelt over her in the ambulance telling her he would be waiting. The moment he left she went wide eyed and unresponsive. We tracked her vitals and called the hospital to get any instructions. They just said to keep her warm and out of shock. I thought we were past that. She seemed catatonic." Emory told them as Scott held onto his crying wife.

"In the panic of it all I made several errors. I should have gotten their names. I should have stopped him from leaving. I found she had a severe blow to the back of her head and even wondered if he had inflicted that upon her. He was already gone and I wanted to go after him, trying to make use of my training to not let a situation get out of hand.  I only got 500 yards or so in pursuit when the other medic radioed me that the woman had coded. I rushed back to discover she had swallowed her tongue and I managed to free it for her. I performed CPR and she was breathing easily in a few minutes. I don't think she was without oxygen for more than a couple minutes, if that. We kept her stable, but didn't get free from the traffic until almost 4 o'clock or so. It had to be after 5 or later when we got to the hospital, and her brother, or father, whoever he was, was nowhere to be found." Emory Richards finished, holding his head on the verge of his own tears.

He sat back and gathered himself and continued as he looked at his watch, knowing he was due in surgery soon.

"I know they took her right into surgery after a couple MRI's. I think she had a rib broken, close to puncturing her lung and they removed a blood clot close to the blow on the back of her head. The notes here say it was consistent with a fall down stairs because I said I wondered if she had been assaulted. I checked on her every couple days and they kept her restrained, fearing she might hurt herself. When they would wean her off medications she would rage. They identified her as Sue Johnson, because she whispered it to someone when she was asked. After 10 days with no one claiming her or any active missing person for her she became a ward of the state. The fact she was a survivor of the Tower attack was in my notes, it shows nowhere else. I'm deeply ashamed that I never followed up on that.

Originally they took her to Hackensack University Medical for evaluation and treatment. Just out of interest because I wanted to be a doctor and I wasn't sure what field, I kept tabs on her and even visited her once at Hackensack, along with other patients I had been involved with. I remember that they said she wouldn't speak, and trusted few. Paranoid schizophrenic with great memory loss was on her chart, I remember. I wondered about that diagnosis because when I went through the ward, she never took her eyes off me. I didn't interact with her, I was told that would have been unprofessional, but she did remember me. The next time I asked about her they said she had been moved to Hampden Behavioral Health, a couple hours from here. I'm not sure if she is still there or not, but that is a great facility because they don't use any heavy drugs or shock therapy there, just lots of one on one."

Betty Hanson and, to some extent, her husband Scott were in tears at this point. They weren't sure if they should have been angry at the way she fell through the cracks, or thankful that she may still be alive, or at least relieved that she may not have died in such a horrific manner as they imagined.

"Umm . . . I can . . . ." Shelly said uncomfortably to break the moment, "I'm not sure if I can find out if she's still there, or where she might be. It appears the paper trail ends here." She said nervously looking down and then imploringly to Emory's eyes

Emory scowled back at her and raised his voice, "OF COURSE WE CAN, do that right away Ms. Peters. These people have been through enough and I'm afraid that we, and the system, are at fault here. Culpability isn't a factor here and we DO bear some fault," He said with a maddened stare at Shelly Peters.

Shelley's eyes grew big at his words, as if wishing he hadn't said that in front of the Hansons. 

Still reluctant to seem to want to place the call or access the information she didn't react to Dr. Richards order.

"TAKE CARE OF IT NOW! They are more interested in if their daughter is still alive than any law suit. Remember that one of the words on our banner out front is "compassion"." He said bawling her out, even though it was not his place.

"I'm late for surgery and have been paged a thousand times." Emory said pulling his vibrating pager from his pocket. "I'm sorry for any way I may have been at fault here, but I really feel I did my best. Leave me your information and I'll follow up with you."

Dr. Richards quickly shook the hands of Scott and Betty and left the room quickly leaving Shelly Peters to feel very uncomfortable. She turned to her computer screen and began inputting information and then sat back and waited for results. She sat back and sighed at the results she saw and moved to pick up her phone as if to check with someone about sharing the results, but remembered Dr. Richards reprimand with a deep sigh again.

"She's still at Hampden; at least she was in the last patient audit in July. Let me call them. I work with them from time to time" Shelly said, obviously annoyed at the position she was in.

After a short conversation Shelly invited Scott and Betty to listen and talk over the speaker-phone with the person from Hampden.

"Hello, my name is Avis Strong. I'm the senior therapist here at Hampden. I work with 8 "hives" of up to 12 patients who live, eat and socialize together. The one you think may be your daughter is known here as Sue Johnson. When she first came into the New Jersey Health System she had no ID, no jewelry, or any other identifiers." Dr. Strong began.

"Her engagement ring with identifying inscription was found in the Twin Tower rubble and returned to us about 4 months after the attacks. That was why we thought she was deceased, Dr. Strong." Betty Hanson interrupted. 

"Please call me Abby, as the clients here do. We try not to be too formal. Let's not 100 percent assume this is your daughter until you see her. I'll tell you a little about her.
Sue doesn't speak much, if at all. She's able to, but has said but a few words since she's been here. She experienced severe mental trauma that acts like what we call a black balloon. It's as if you are experiencing life normally, except you have a black balloon stuck on the end of your nose. She cannot let it go and can't or won't speak of it. We think she may be very intelligent, we found her to be quite interested in the Wall Street Journal that someone reads to her almost every day. She can read it herself, but tends to lose concentration. While being read to it's obvious she is drinking it all in and has even picked up a pen as if to write, but she hasn't. I would say this was a sign she might be ready, or want to break out, but this has been going on for 6 or more years. She always sits with her back to the wall, and if you approach her from behind she reacts violently, covering up and screaming, putting herself into a fetal ball. Everyone in her "hive" is aware of this and avoids approaching her this way. At her most lucid we've tried to reassure her enough to talk us through her fears, even adding relaxant drugs. She seems ready to open up, but never graduates to the next level." Abby Strong finished with an obvious sense of frustration.

"Dr. Strong, . . er . . . umm, Abby, we have information that may pop that black balloon." Scott said.

"We have to very careful!" Abby scolded, "We don't want to pop the balloon. We want to slowly deflate it. Please understand the reason for the analogy. We think she sees her entire world from around this "black balloon" and exposing everything at once could bring her back to when she first came to us."

"Our daughter was in one of the Trade Center Towers when they were hit on 911. She barely survived her escape and was nearly hit by several falling bodies of people who jumped rather than face certain other fates. She was half dragged, half-stumbled for 16 blocks to the Holland Tunnel where she was given to a stranded ambulance crew. It's a long harrowing story."Betty said to the speaker phone in a near pleading manner.

There was long silence on the other end of the line while Shelly Peters hung her head to hide the embarrassment and tears she felt for the whole situation.

"THERE IS NOTHING IN ANY HISTORY OF SUE THAT SAYS ANY OF THAT!" Abby shouted defensively.

"We wouldn't have known much of that story, except the fact that she survived the attack. THAT should have been gleaned from the paramedic's notes. A lot of this was new information that came to light recently. It was never in the notes the paramedics took when they brought her in here that day because they didn't have the deep details. . . . . and here real name is Selena Hanson Johnson." Shelly said almost in a surrendered tone, knowing how wrong it was to have this ball dropped and to know her hospital had been part of it.

"Let me talk with our other therapists and doctors here and give me contact information for you, Mr. and Mrs. Hanson. We need to set out a plan for Sue, . . er . . Ms Johnson. I must tell you to go to where you can collect personal items of hers, including some pictures maybe. Let me meet with our people and see how we might handle this. . . and Shelly? Let me email you a photo of our Sue Johnson to confirm we are talking about the same woman." Abby said as they heard a rustle of papers and the click of computer keyboards.
  
In a few minutes Shelly received an email and she clicked on it. She turned her monitor towards the Hansons to let them see the photo. Betty Hanson dropped her face to her lap and then nearly leapt to the arms of her husband. In the photo, her hair was cut short, her face a bit bloated and blotchy with a scar over her eye, but the pretty angelic face of Selena jumped from the photo. She didn't wear the 9 years well, but it was their Selena.

"Our baby is alive!" She sobbed uncontrollably into Scotts shoulder.

After the emotions of the moment passed Abby added a terse comment; "Be aware, Mr. and Mrs. Hanson, Sue, or Selena may never progress beyond where she is. She's been in this state for a long time, even though we've all thought she has been close to a breakthrough many times. This photo a few years old, I don't think the scar is as prominent anymore, as I recall."

"We understand." Scott said in a voice broken by emotion.

Chapter 3

By the time Scott and Betty returned home that evening Dr. Avis "Abby" Strong had been in contact with Dr. JoAnne Culver at the Edison Mental Studies Clinic and had begun to put together the puzzle of Joe and Selena Johnson. The fact that Joe failed to exist from the time shortly after he gave Selena to the paramedics caused great damage to the hopes of returning their mental states to a place you might call normal. The paramedic notes only stated that she was from "the site" and was among the "exodus" of 1000's of New York and New Jersey people trying to escape the madness of planes crashing, falling buildings, and the stench of burned flesh and jet fuel that had been stained to their memories forever.

An intern with Dr. Culver had combed police reports and found a report of a man walking on the Skyway, then falling, or committing suicide by jumping from the Pulaski Skyway. Police responded but found nothing. Joe may have fallen or jumped into a drainage "funnel" that drained into a catch basin, thinking it was a way to the ground once the bridge had cleared the rivers. It was common for homeless and indigents to try and use this way to safety. There is no way to the ground without having quite a fall unless you followed the basin to the river and swam to shore. This wasn't likely in Joe's condition.

There were 4 other messages on their phone from people who recognized Joe from the news story and were calling to inform them. Two were from local girls and friends of Selena, two were business acquaintances of Joe, one being Chielm Beupour (Slim Beepo). 

On Wednesday morning there would be a meeting of all doctors and therapists involved to try and assemble one story and plan of action in hopes of bringing Joe and Selena back to normalcy. The Hanson's were to be there to provide information as well as supply pictures and other things from their homes that might jog a memory, turn a cog, open a synapse, - ANYTHING that might serve as impedance back to normalcy. They all were warned that 9 years is a long time to be in an advanced mental state of shock, and come out normal. There was still a fear that Joe could wake as someone else, but as days passed that was growing more and more unlikely, but a shock over the condition of Selena might throw him backwards as well.

The thought of another day of traveling in the car back and forth to New Jersey prompted Scott and Betty to pack suitcases for a longer stay. They also filled boxes with photos and items that both Joe and Selena would find familiar in an effort to help them remember.

The Wednesday meeting was taking place at a conference hall on the campus of The Edison Mental Studies Clinic. A large group of Doctors, therapists, aides and anyone familiar with both Joe and Selena were to be present. When the Hansons arrived Dr. Culver was already there to meet them and she wanted to brief them on Joe and his progress.

"Joe appears to be on a positive path back to normalcy. He's a very intelligent man, but even so, trying to cope with life that has passed 9 whole years in what seemed an instant is taking a toll on him. We encourage him to rest often and give him light sedatives to help him sleep. These are the only medications he has been on for the last 48 hours and he shows no signs of any problems. We haven't told him yet, but we want him to stay here until Monday. He'll be told during an exercise session he's having right now. We think he needs to see a little more of the 9 years he missed and understand the changes. We haven't told him you found his wife and this information should be kept from him at this point. Finding out just what he thinks has happened to her would help us a great deal. If we have a baseline to deal with we can better detail a plan to feed him the real information. Your promise to come and get him in "four days, tops" will be easier to break if you still have no information of your daughter. We don't think you should see him in person either; he may make a scene where we have to medicate him further. We'll call him later today and you'll talk to him about a Monday release, OK?" Dr. Culver explained.

"You're obviously the professional here, but I would like to see him, even if through one way glass. Would that be OK?" Betty Hanson asked.

"Certainly, we can arrange that. Would watching his reaction to your call help? I know with everything that has happened you both have trust issues and I can't blame you for that. Be assured, our "study" of Joe is over. We only want him to get back to a normal life. His many personalities were always a hit here with the clients and the staff." She said, understanding Betty's skepticism. 

"Now for your daughter, although both clinics differ in how they deal with her condition, we think we can come up with a good plan today while talking with all involved, including both of you." The Doctor assured them.


"You don't think she was treated with heavy drugs, or electric shock or anything like that do you?" Betty asked with a tear welling up.

"I would be very surprised. Hampden Behavioral Health shuns those practices and has had a pretty fair success rate at getting people who were thought to be "lost" back into society. She is the longest serving patient there and they haven't given up on her because she shows so much promise, as they've told me. Unfortunately, she always hits a wall." She said as she stood up as a large group began to walk into the conference hall.

After a round of introductions and passing out name tags Doctors Culver and Strong took charge of the meeting by asking questions and getting opinions.

"I keep hearing that the subject Selena Johnson shows much promise. Who here is most qualified to show me this?" Doctor Culver asked.

A young woman, perhaps mid to late 30's or so, stood and said, "I believe I can. My name is Phyllis Flowers. My clients call me Philly. I've been Ms. Johnson's best friend for over 6 years. With the exception of one day, sometimes two, each week I spend at least 2 hours with her each day. I read The Wall Street Journal main pages to her each weekday. She says very little, only a few words a week to me, but she listens and understands all I tell her and she answers questions with her eyes and conveys her feelings through expression. She's very paranoid of new things around her and gets frantic if someone should sneak up or startle her from behind. Her whole demeanor changes if this should happen and our session usually ends. The person I replaced informed me and I found out early on that she masturbates nearly every night in her bed. When she was in a room with other clients she was quiet and discreet, but it was obvious to others in the room. She has been in her own room for as long as I've been with her and the night matrons note that they hear her often, not loudly, but whimpers and swoons are obvious
.
I've asked her numerous times about this and her answer is always quick and clear, although she leans in to tell me privately, "I love sex, but only with my husband." This is one of the things that make me believe there is a way out for her. Most in her condition have no interest or even thoughts of sex. She won't write or draw if I give her a pen, but she will pore over a list of stocks and mark certain ones. They appear to be random but I know they are ones I mentioned in stories from The Journal that day. There is a lot going on in there, but she has what we refer to as a "black balloon syndrome".

A man's hand came up and the lead doctors recognized him.

"Hello, I'm John Buono from Edison here, Uh, do you think the next time she mentions her husband that you might ask her if she means Joe, and then ask what happened to him, why isn't she with him? I would be terribly interested in her answer. I think that could be a path out."

Dr. Strong spoke loudly from the front of the room, waving a pen and taking the floor.
"Yes, I think that's a great idea and perhaps prod those memories right away with some pictures of home, her parents, or even Joe."

Another hand came up and the woman stood without being recognized. "Florence Lossi, from here at Edison; She may tell you that Joe is not the husband she is speaking of, it may all be a fantasy where she thinks the masturbation IS having sex with her husband."

Philly Flowers jumped out of her chair to defend Selena. "STOP! You are supposing that she may be bonkers, and I can assure you that she is NOT. This woman has problems and deep phobias, but many times in talking to her she has proven to me that she can be recovered. Her parents are here and don't need to hear this, as well!  . . . and I HAVE asked her where her husband was and she's told me that he was coming for her, but not for a long time now. I can check my notes, but I think it's been at least 4 years since she answered that question. I did ask her once what his name was and she got very defensive and simply said "he's mine!" as if I might try to steal him away. I showed her a picture of my husband to show her I wouldn't be interested. She turned the picture over and didn't speak to me for a few days. I didn't know what to make of it, but I never brought it up again. It was over the trauma level I'd set for her. Oh, and I'm sorry for using the term "bonkers". I was obviously upset at the assumption that she might be damaged that way. I am sure she is NOT!"

The conjecture went on and on for over an hour with doctors trading theory and supposition on the two patients trying to use their relationship as a springboard to stable mental health. Finally it was conceded that with the new information about Selena, that Joe had provided, Ms. Flowers should try to reach her once more, but this time using more confrontation to force her to vocalize her thoughts. She mustn't be as patient with her and use what she now knew as a lure to bring her out of her own darkness.

So much positive information was passed around over both patients that recovery seemed a slam dunk until Florence Lossi stood again; "I congratulate all of the positive feelings over this woman, but I think you are all overlooking the fact that she may have been without oxygen for as much as 10 minutes when she convulsed and swallowed her tongue. If you read the transcript, she coded, then the one EMT called the other and he had to return about 500 yards to save her because of the others inexperience. How long did he wait until he discovered there was nothing he could do to help? I hope I am wrong, but I don't think we should fill her parents with so much hope and optimism." She said finishing with her hands folded and looking at Betty and Scott.

There was a long silence in the room until Abby Strong and JoAnne Culver leaned into each other and conferred for a moment and then nodded to each other, then Dr. Strong spoke.

"These two have beaten impossible odds to be in the position they are in and I think we owe to each of our jobs to make sure every effort is exhausted. However, Ms. Lossi's observations are more than valid. After an ample period of soft therapy we might be prudent to start more aggressive means to treat brain injury."

"Soft therapy?"  Scott Hanson asked with a tone of hopelessness in his voice.

"Mr. Hanson, at Hampden we don't use heavy drugs, shock therapy, electrical stimulation, or any of the treatments you may have seen in movies on the subject. There has been no reason for us to think she had a brain injury due to lack of oxygen for an extended period, but it's possible. It hasn't shown up in any tests we've done. But, armed with the information we have, if we cannot break the state she is in, you might want to submit her for more aggressive means. The life she is leading is not rewarding to her and she may be suffering mentally within. We will do everything we know how and I can assure you that she is not just a patient with us. I hope it is evident that she is a loved member of our community. When Ms. Flowers says she is Ms. Johnson's best friend, they are not idle words. You saw how she jumped to defend her before, and I can testify that the feeling is heartfelt and mutual. When Philly returns from her day off to engage Sue, . . er Selena, the hug Ms. Flowers gets is firm and deep and an obvious relief of any trepidations that she might not have returned."

Scott nodded and sat down as Betty sobbed lightly while reaching for Scott's hand. She leaned in to whisper something to him and he stood again to get the floor back.

"Is there a way we can see her? I know we can't engage her yet, but if we can just see her, watch her for a few moments. We may be able to tell you something from her actions. I know it will be terribly emotional, but please, . . . . we've been through enough."

Dr. Avis "Abby" Strong was a hardnosed professional all the way, but Scott's plea melted her all-business attitude and turned her eyes into filling pools of compassion.

"I can arrange a one-way mirror visit in the next few days. We'll speak afterwards." She said fighting of emotion.

Dr. Culver stood, knowing she had to change the tempo of the meeting before emotions took over, and addressed the conference again.

"Now, of Joe Johnson. Each day he wakes without personality change is one step further into us believing that he has recovered from his DFS condition. He knows nothing of the fate of his wife and is just coming to terms with the 9 years he lost. We need to establish a baseline for him as well. If we know where he thinks she might be, if she is alive or not, if she has moved on or not, then we can judge the shock he may encounter at her reality. We don't need another blow to slip him back. I think now is the time to break into study groups, review the photo's and items the Hansons have brought, the information they can provide to help these 2 very fortunate souls in our care."

Scott and Betty were overwhelmed with the questions the doctors and therapist asked as pictures and mementos were passed amongst them asking for explanations of meanings or identities of photos. After nearly an hour of note taking and questions the group broke up agreeing to meet the following Monday to see where each client stood. It was hoped the Hansons could take Joe with them on that day, barring complications.

Following the meeting Dr. Culver escorted the Hansons to another building on the campus to a room where they could see Joe through a one-way mirror. She went away for about 10 minutes to set up the call for Betty and Scott. Finally she came back in the room and Dr. Culver handed Betty a phone and told her, "Joe was just told he had a phone call and he'll be coming in that room to get it. Remember, patience, . . . and do not tell him anything of your daughter except you have not found her yet. He's a little frustrated that you can't come for him today, but he seems to have accepted it."

BH: Hello Joe, how are you today? I'll bet you're a little disappointed you can't leave yet.

JJ: Betty, you promised! Does this have anything to do with Selena?

BH: No, they told us you should spend a bit more time getting acclimated to the world changes, and I might agree. They really know best Joe; don't you consider yourself a bit fragile?

JJ: Fragile is not the word. They say I'm not a patient here anymore, but I'm still treated like one. I'm very frustrated, and then when I look in a mirror I see my father.

BH: I understand there's no more therapy, just helping you understand, but there are still so many questions to be answered for you.

JJ: Betty, you've avoided any mention of Selena. She's dead isn't she? SHE'S DEAD!

BH: Joe, do you really think I would hide that from you if I knew? Remember I've mourned the deaths of both of you for 9 years and now there's a glimmer of hope she might be alive and that's keeping me going. If I found out she passed away when I could have been helping her, you would know. We're researching some leads about the information you gave them here. You'll know when I find something.

JJ: I keep thinking she recovered and made a new life, like one of those people with amnesia. I couldn't bear to find that out.

BH: Joe, be patient and don't let your mind run off like that. We'll get to the bottom of this, I promise. We love you and want you back in our world. Just a few more days, OK?

JJ: I don't HAVE to like it to agree to it. Betty. Just find Selena. If you don't come up with anything I can tell you that I will comb every lead, every inch of this country until I do.

BH: Joe, you've read about the attacks on the towers, the recovery efforts and all of that, right? I just want you to know that they sent us her ring with the inscription and a money clip she gave you. We thought that's all there was left, it's when we all but lost hope.

JJ: I didn't know that. It makes things easier to understand.

BH: We'll talk again on Monday and see how it's all going, but you'll hear from me as soon as I get news on Selena. (choking back tears) We love you Joe and want you back. Goodbye.

JJ: I love both of you too, and I can't wait to get out and help you find her. Goodbye.

The Hansons watched Joe hang up the phone and hang his head for a moment. He was obviously sobbing and his frustration was showing. He composed himself a bit and stood and knocked on the door to have the orderly let him out and bring him back to his room.

Betty turned to JoAnne Culver with a worried look.

"I told him in our first visit that they recovered the ring and the clip. He seemed to have no recollection of that today. Are you sure he's OK? That just seems like a pivotal fact that shows why no-one ever questioned their fate, and then he glossed over that the first time? . . . or did he just forget it? He worries me." She said with deep concern and trepidation. 

"Actually," Dr. Culver answered, "He had no reaction to it the first time you said it a few days ago, as if he didn't hear it, or want to hear it. We'll keep an eye on that and test his short term memory. Besides that, are you convinced he is doing well? I'm told that the only medication he will be on now is a sleep relaxer, and that will be voluntary. Now, Dr. Strong wants me to tell you that you can come to Hampden anytime you wish to see your daughter. There is a viewing area off the general community room where she spends a good deal of her time. But, you should realize this will be very, very, hard on you. She suggests, and I agree, that you might want to wait until you can actually be with her. Think about it."

Chapter 4

Thursday morning at the Hampden Behavioral Health Center seemed like any other morning, but the staff assigned to Sharpe Hive all had new sets of instructions in their daily mail box for one of their longest kept clients, Sue Johnson.

"Starting with Thursdays wake up and in all future dealings with "Sue", please refer to her as "Selena" (sell - E - na).  We've found this to be her proper given name. Should another client try to correct you, just tell them that Selena is her proper name. Don't say "real name", proper name. Be aware to report any reactions she may have to this to her APN (Advanced Psychiatric Nurse) Phyllis Flowers."
Clients are not aware that they are under 24 hour camera sweep surveillance that is designed to protect them from each other and themselves. Each morning at 8 a.m. a gentle wake-up alarm is played in their rooms and within a few minutes health practitioners visit each client to get temperature, blood pressure and address any reported ailments. Any pills or injections are administered at the same time. Following their wake-up each is encouraged to shower and join the rest of the hive for breakfast. The particular hive Selena was in is made up of self-sufficient adults who pose no imminent danger to themselves, but all suffer mental handicaps. She is one of many there who have no real identity and were taken in by the state to protect them from themselves and the citizenry. Many of the studies on patients at Hampden became subjects of thesis' that served to help the Mental Health community worldwide.

Nurse Practitioner Kim Tucker knocked gently on Selena's and opened it calling her name.

"Selena? Good Morning!, . . . are we awake yet?" She said as Selena roused and began to peel back the bedclothes.

"Selena, I have your morning medications. Do you want water or juice to take them with?" Kim asked.

Selena looked confused and looked back at Kim warily as if something were suspiciously wrong, even though this was the morning regimen each and every day. She usually pointed to either the water bottle or juice box for her preference.

"What's the matter, Selena hon, can't make up your mind? You can have both." Kim said, knowing that the address was befuddling her.

Selena kept a wary eye on Kim and reached for a juice box, pulling up the corner tab to form a spout. She poured it into the glass on her tray, took the 3 pills, and drank the juice.
When she finished she didn't need to be told to open her mouth and lift her tongue to show they had went down; another part of daily routine.

"Selena, we're going to have visitors in the next few days and flu season is coming. We're doing flu shots today. I need either your arm or your bottom. Your arm could be sore for a few days, but it's up to you." Kim asked knowing Selena was able to understand and make such decisions.

Selena sighed and got to her feet and turned around, pulling up her night dress to expose her bottom.

"No panties? Selena, were you a naughty girl last night?" Kim asked with a chuckle as she swabbed a small area with an alcohol prep pad and quickly gave her the injection.

Selena stood and let the gown fall and she sat back down, only giving Kim a small smile as an answer to her query.

"It's OK, Selena hon, nothing wrong with that." Kim said trying to draw her standard answer about masturbation after some coaching by APN Flowers.

"I like sex, but only with my husband." She predictably said in a low almost whisper.

"Me too! My husband's name is John, what's your husband's name?" Kim asked.

For the first time anyone knew of the many times she was asked this, she sat back and looked off blankly and said "It was Joe."

Kim, knowing this was a breakthrough, stopped her ministrations and asked, "Where is Joe?"

Selena shook her head and put her face in her hands to cry. It was one of the first times she had ever shown emotions like this and Kim was afraid of saying anything wrong, wishing the Advanced Psychiatric Nurse, Philly Flowers, were there.

"There, there Hon." Kim said giving her a little hug and hand squeeze, "After breakfast you can talk more with Philly. You take your shower and come out when you're ready. Breakfast smells good out there and they'll be serving soon, OK?"

Selena nodded, seeming more lucid than usual, and took the towel Kim had left for her. She walked to the shower stall with three quarter safety glass door and hung the towel on the hook. She waited for Kim to click the door shut and then dropped her nightgown off her shoulders, went behind the toilet partition and sat to relieve herself. She opened the shower door, adjusted the water, and stepped in. She was thinking of Joe and how he loved to shower with her where they could touch each other's bodies, rub and pleasure each other. She put her face in the soft spray and then dropped her head to let it soak her hair. She saw the thick full bush of pubic hair between her legs and wished it were gone. Joe would like it that way, all smooth. She ran her fingers over her soft belly as the spray washed over her head and parted the mat of hair to find the tender slit and magic button she had just titillated the night before. She gripped the mass between her forefinger and thumb and shook it before sliding a finger under her clit and rubbing vigorously. For the first time in many years of satisfying herself, she play-acted that her Joe was actually there, eating her pussy under the shower, licking her little hiney hole after he had cleaned it with a soapy finger. "God!" She thought, "How I miss my Joe. I AM Selena, and I miss my life, my world."

Suddenly her back hunched, her knees bent and wobbled as she half-bent to direct the spray between her legs as her fingers massaged her sex. As orgasm overtook her for a fleet moment she was with Joe, in New York or their upstate home. Life was bliss, and then moments later, she was back to the confused state where she was not quite sure what was real, horrified by what real may be.  Was she dead or alive in Purgatory, or was she in Hell?

She fell back against the wall of the shower and slid down to the floor. She turned her face up to the spray of the water and cried as the reality of whatever state she was in, it was without Joe and she couldn't comprehend why or how.

Ten minutes later she came out of her room dressed in jeans and a polo top, her wet hair combed back straight. She quietly padded to the cafeteria room where she tried to slip in unnoticed to the other few who had gathered to eat.

"Hello Sue", "Good Morning Sue" and other greetings were heard as she acknowledged none of them with anything more than a look. The matron on duty came over with a smile and wished her a good morning as well, putting a menu in front of her.

"Selena, what would you like for breakfast?" She asked.

Before she could point to what she wanted 3 other members of the hive spoke up, almost in unison. "It's not Selena, it's Sue."

The matron looked up at the group and said, "Her correct name is Selena, such a pretty name."

The other poor souls looked amongst themselves and repeated, "Selena, Selena".

Selena never looked up, she pointed to hot cereal and fruit, then coffee on the menu in front of her.

As was usual, other members of the hive, who spoke and wanted to be social, spoke to her as if she would engage them, but she only looked back at them as the only way to acknowledge their words. Somehow there was a love for each other shared by this exchange. Selena had seen many come and go from the hive, the latest edition being mostly intact for at least a year.

After breakfast she guzzled her cooled coffee and went to the "Living Room", a great room where they all met and talked, played cards or read. Selena always took a recliner by the picture window and watched the cars go by on the Interstate some ways away. She would sit until the coffee did it's work for her. Probably more by habit than cause and effect, but after 20 minutes she was off to her room for her morning movement. Shortly she would check the time, as always, for 11 o'clock when Philly came to visit. As the hands neared 11 she walked to the great room and watched for the door to open and Philly to walk through. It brought one of the few smiles she would muster each day.

 Like clockwork the large door clicked loudly and an orderly let Philly Flowers in and Selena was happy. Philly extended her hand and Selena stood and they walked arm and arm into a private office / conference room to talk as always. Philly had The Wall Street Journal under her arm.

"Selena, I understand you got a little talkative this morning with Kim." She said as a conversation starter.

Selena smiled and said, "I'm not Sue, I'm Selena."

"Yes, you are! I also understand you lost your underwear in the bed again. That's OK, it's good to feel pleasure." She said to prompt her standard answer.

"I like sex, but only with my husband." She said proudly.

"Kim told me that your husband is Joe. Where is Joe?" Philly asked.

Selena's eyes welled up with tears and she turned away from her friend and therapist. She got up to go to the door but it was locked.

"No Selena! We're going to face some of these things now that we know who you are. Do you have any idea how long you've been here?" She asked as she put one firm hand on her shoulder and the other under her elbow and walked her to her chair.

Selena wiped tears from her eyes and sat looking forlorn.

"Selena, I'm your friend, you know that. Yes, I'm the doctor who comes and talks to you and tries to make you feel better, but I'm also trying to help you. I stayed with you when you had woman problems and talked you through medical tests when you were afraid and we had to leave here. I care about you, but now that I know some things about you I can help you more than you can imagine. But you have to trust me. I know you don't trust many, but you HAVE to trust me." Philly said as she held her hand and handed her a tissue.

As she blew her nose and wiped her eyes she looked up and finally answered Philly's question, "3006 days here, 48 days at the big brick building, 82 days in the white room, and 9 days at the ambulance hospital. Where is he? He must be dead, he gave me up when he couldn't carry me, and he ran away from the war. I saw him disappear with his legs all broken up and I died! I woke up in here in purgatory but it was better than the war. He said he'd find me but he lied, he never even looked. I think I killed him." She said breaking down and blubbering crying and slipping to the floor burying her head in her hands as she crouched into a ball on her knees.

Philly let her cry it out for a few minutes and then knelt beside her and began to rub the back of her neck.

"Selena, there are so many answers to questions I have for you, but first I have to make you understand some things. Nothing is as bad as you think. You didn't do anything to hurt Joe and neither you nor he died. How do you think we found all these things about you? I'm going to put my chair beside the sofa and I want you to come and lie down there when you're ready to talk to me. You have to open up and I will give you answers and make you understand things. You know I always try to make you happy and I'm still going to read you the Wall Street. But Selena has to do some things for herself, like gather her wits and come and lay down so we can talk and face some things. You're a very smart woman and I'm going to help you, but you have to help yourself first by facing up and not hiding your head. I'll sit in the chair and wait for you." Philly said firmly, but Selena could tell she cared deeply about her as a friend, even in her tone.

Selena sat up on her knees after a minute or two and wiped tears away. She looked to Philly and then to the floor, embarrassed about the crying. She pulled herself to her feet and went to the sofa and lay down and looked at Philly. Philly smiled to her and Selena, although embarrassed by her bawling, smiled back.

"OK, let's talk and iron a few things out. Do you know where you are?" She asked bluntly.

Selena's eyes welled up again and she went to get up but Philly grabbed her and pushed her hard and violently back into the sofa.

"STOP  RUNNING  AWAY  FROM  THINGS !" She shouted at her as she stood over her.

Selena looked up with her eyes full of tears and barely able to speak but tried to through a flood of tears, mucus, and emotion. "I don't even know if I'm dead or alive!" Selena said almost gurgling the words.

Philly Flowers felt so much compassion for the woman she had been trying to reach for so long that she couldn't help falling to her knees beside the sofa and hugging her friend. Her own mind raced as she considered the prospect that this was the first roadblock she had to toss aside to begin to reach Selena.

"Oh, Selena! If you were dead, where would we be now and how did you get here?" She asked knowing she had stepped inside Selena's world.

"I remember in Sister Clements class studying about purgatory where God kept the souls not ready for heaven. I got here when I died after Joe left me behind. I was crying and I choked, I couldn't breathe, and then . . . . . nothing. Then angels checked me over and sent me to hell, but just before I went I saw the doctor from the ambulance. He must have died too, maybe hit by falling people from the war. But after I saw him they brought me here. He must have told God I was worth saving." Selena told her in a choppy whisper as Philly held her hand and stroked her cheek. "Philly? Are you the angel who tells God who should go to heaven? I overhear you talking sometimes and I can read lips sometimes. You always talk about saving me."

"But what if you're alive? You said you didn't know if you were dead or alive."

"If I'm alive, I'm in some asylum where they keep the people that went crazy from the war. People who saw bodies fall from the sky and smash in front of them. We wait for someone to come get us, but no one ever came for me. It's so confusing. Is the war still on?" She asked looking more confused than ever.

"No. There was no war here, just that one day of terror attacks. . . . . . and you're not dead or crazy either, Selena. You are so alive and have so many people who want to help you, but you never spoke." Philly told her.

Then Selena surprised her by speaking coherently and in great detail about her life at Hampden, "On day 2687 I first realized I might not be dead. It was the day we left here to go to the OB/GYN. You held my hand all the way but I saw things like they were, much like it used to be. I didn't think purgatory would be like that and I might be alive, and crazy. When I woke up after the procedure I talked aloud to myself, heard my voice, but I never knew what to say, what to ask! I just knew I was there before, after the white room for a big operation. I THOUGHT THAT TIME IT WAS GOD TAKING OUT MY SOUL!" Selena said as she started to babble, then cry uncontrollably.

"I must be crazy, my mind is racing . . . I feel like I'm drowning, I'm so confused!" She said as she began to fidget and try to pull away from Philly.

Philly took the upper hand on her and pushed her back into the sofa, laying her body across Selena's shoulders.

"Calm, calm, Selena. Calm, calm. You've learned so much today. Relax and think of your husband. Relax, calm, relax, calm." Philly said until Selena stopped fighting. 

Once she seemed calm for a moment she reached to her pocket and took out a prepared syringe of Xanax with a mild sleeping agent. Curled in an almost fetal ball, her sweat pants had slid down her bottom a bit in her struggle and Philly saw the opportunity to inject her. She pushed down her pant a bit more and popped the cap on the needle, and before Selena could protest, did it.

In moments Selena lost all fight and lay asleep. Philly Flowers got up into her chair and uncharacteristically cried for a moment. She was usually good at not getting emotionally involved, but Selena was different. She had been with her so long and for now to think she actually thought she was dead and in God's Purgatory for the bulk of the time she was there made her sad. To think of the thoughts that she must have had sickened her.

She took out her notes and read all of the transcripts of the story Joe had told, and then the EMT attendant, Emory Richards, and began to put the story together, writing her First Impression Theory, her first step when she thought  she had a break-through.

"In her state on 9/11 she saw Joe limping away from her, not understanding what had happened (911) and why he felt he had to leave. She panicked and suddenly couldn't breathe, suffocating, essentially dying and she probably came to that realization as it happened. (She swallowed her tongue in a panic fit. She was revived anywhere from 2 to 5 minutes later) Her next conscious moments were at Christian Hospital, going through processing and surgery, bright lights, and moments where being lucid is impossible. (In surgery they relieved swelling on back of head resulting from blow in fall and relaxed pressure a broken rib was putting on her lung) People probably stood around her and talked about her condition not realizing she was so aware. She was sent to a clinic (Hackensack Medical, Psychiatric Wing) that really was for deeply disturbed mental patients and she probably felt she was sliding down to Hell. There, at one point, she saw Emory Richards, (the EMT who had saved her in the ambulance) and coincidentally was transferred to Hampden soon thereafter. (She connected seeing Emory and the transfer as one begetting the other) Hampden was a much better fit for the condition she seemed to have, as she was not violent or seeming to want to hurt herself. Hampden was routine, day in, and day out, but she trusted few, afraid someone else may recommend her to be sent away. She has had other APN's and I'm not sure how they dressed, but my bright demeanor and always crisp white pants and smock may have made Selena think I was an angel, (she told me this) the angel who would decide between heaven and hell. 
If she had gotten used to the idea that she was in Purgatory, and I was an angel, when she had to leave and go to the Women's Hospital of New Jersey for a D and C and treatment for serious infection caused by Hydrosalpinx, a condition of her fallopian tubes, she saw and smelled the outside world and came to a realization that she WAS indeed, alive. However, thinking she was alive, she began to rationalize why she was in an institution, and she came to the belief she was insane. Her mind went around like a merry-go-round wondering what was truth, what wasn't. She didn't dare ask her "angel" in fear that she might really be dead and then be recommended for Hell. Beginning today, she is being referred to as "Selena" and she seems to be "waking up". In the past, because of where she thought she might be and didn't know who held the key to her eternal life, she just didn't speak. Now that wall seems to be coming down, fast. I will reconvene with her as soon as possible and review these findings and then confirm with you. " Signed Phyllis Flowers APN

After writing her impression of the 9 years of Selena's confusion ultimately caused by the abject horror of the 911 attack and the horrific escape from the building and being dragged 16 blocks and through the tunnel, she paused and began to enter her Professional Conclusion into her laptop. Her conclusion was only for other Doctors and Therapists eyes.

"From my findings, I conclude that Selena needs to be brought up to speed on the world, and everything that happened on 9/11. She should also be schooled on Dissociative Fugue State and then be told that it is what Joe suffered, but I would withhold his recovery at this time. It is of my opinion that after she is shown the photo's her parents have supplied she should be evaluated once again and if we feel everything is positive, she should be reunited with her parents as soon as possible. She needs to have hope reinforced.

We must all keep in mind that she suffered great stress on 9/11 after almost carrying and dragging her husband down some 60 to 70 flights of stairs, and then when she finally got out of the building onto the terrace where they seemed to be out of danger, bodies fell and splattered around them, and they then saw the horrific mess of ones who came down before. Glass and debris fell from above and it seemed anywhere she turned was unspeakable to see or fathom. Her spirit gave up, collapsing, sapped of all strength, and Joe brought himself to his feet, destroyed knees and all and tried to carry her away down the stairs from the terrace to a receiving dock that led to the street. He could barely walk on his own and crumpled under her weight and rolled to the bottom of the stairs. During this fall she violently struck her head on a step. He found the strength to pick her up and half carry; half drag her to some point of safety. However all of those around him were warning them to run for their lives. They joined others who helped to carry and drag her. At the point the first building fell it put everyone into a deeper panic. At this moment it is believed that clueless rescue trek began. People just ran away not knowing who or what was attacking. This is why Joe left Selena and continued on after he got her to "safety" at the ambulance. He HAD to keep going, as many others did either until they got to their homes or familiar surroundings. Many crossed into New Jersey because that was where home was, others crossed to just get away, away as far as possible. It is in this time Selena convulsed and swallowed her tongue, suffocating.

Her mental scars are deep, but I believe she is strong enough to face them and separate fact from fiction, imagination from reality. If she is "rewarded" by getting her family back, her husband back, I believe she can return to a state of total normalcy. I believe she needs a situation where someone depends on her, and can prove her worth to herself. Her self-esteem needs to be rediscovered. She was a very successful woman in the social and business world, and it was all ripped away in the matter of a few moments."

Phyllis digitally signed her conclusion and sent it to Abby Strong, hoping she might get a response soon, or at least before Selena came around, She wondered if she would continue being as talkative after waking as she had been in the morning, or if she would revert back to her former attitude. 

Chapter 5 

While Philly Flowers did reports and paperwork on her laptop, Selena Johnson slept calmly after an injection of Xanax and a sleeping agent. Her mind had been put in the proper position to dream about her past life and the joys she knew. She wouldn't remember the dream specifically, but it would fortify her resolve to face up to this mental monster and defeat it. She would steel herself to defeat the fear and erase the horrors of the reality of 9/11.

It had been 4 hours since Philly subdued her and she had finished her reports on her other patients, eaten the small lunch she had brought, made a cup of coffee in the Keurig, and freshened up in the bathroom. She was about to go and stroke Selena's cheek to begin to rouse her when she heard the mail signal from her laptop. Her new email was from Abby Strong and she was anxious to read it.

Phyllis:
I just spent nearly an hour on the phone in conference call with the group we met with on Wednesday. The tone of your report and conclusion showed me that you may have a bit too much of an emotional tie to this patient to give a well thought out response to some of the questions that might be asked. I am not surprised or displeased with your emotional tie, as you have been involved with this patient for over 6 years. Your personal approach with all of your patients has certainly brought out the best possible conclusions for any client you have closed out. For that reason, despite your prejudice to her personally, we take your findings at your word.
With little dissent this forum has agreed with your diagnosis and pathway to recovery. I will be the first to admit that if we had known her connection to the 911 Tower attacks from the start this may have been an easier case to diagnose and solve. The error in transposing the EMT notes from that day was a tragic oversight.

We should begin by moving her to another hive to begin an accelerated transition. If she doesn't immediately respond we will all be surprised. She seems the perfect candidate.

After dinner this evening we will move her from Sharpe Hive to Burdette Hive. There she will have access to TV News and more of a look at the outside world. There are only 4 others in Burdette, all female. We think it would be best if you facilitated the move tonight. Be sure she knows it is a move forward. 

Tomorrow after breakfast you should accompany her on a one on one video seminar on 9/11 and help her answer questions and handle any "bumps" in her road to understanding what happened that day. Before the day's close, while she is still excited (hopefully) from learning what the outside world has done over the last 9 years, you should explain about Dissociative Fugue State. When you think she has grasped that, tell her that is what Joe has dealt with over the time she has been here. Do not let on that he seems to have beaten it; she may figure out that it's the reason why we were able to facilitate her breakthrough. Stay with her until bedtime and before she retires, let her know that her parents are excited to see her.  Give her something to help her get to sleep. Hopefully she will dream and we think she will open a lot of doors to her former life.

We think, and I think you will concur that, evidenced from past breakthrough experiences, her brain should flourish during dream sequences with mostly positive thoughts. We don't expect nightmares from her experience getting to this juncture, but thoughts of getting out and back to her life.

If there is any part of our prescription plan you do not agree with please refer back to me as soon as you can. Be sure you detail all phases of her recovery in your notes and reports. We think this will be just another example of the brain healing itself without the use of harsh drugs and electronic therapies.

Dr. Avis Strong PHD, MD, Psy.D, M.S.

Philly smiled and sighed in relief that she was taken at her word about Selena. She couldn't wait to start her on the road out of Hampden. No sooner had she thought of her that she began to stir. She heard her moan and shift her legs. She would still be a little dopey but naturally you fight that off as you try to wake, similar to post surgical "hangover".

"Selena, Selena, are you OK? Wake up and sit up so can talk more." She said as she rubbed her cheek to rouse her.

"Ohh, you put me out! You hurt me with the needle!" She immediately protested, already talkative. 

"Selena, you were overwhelmed with things happening around you and I thought it best you calm down. I'm sorry if I stuck you too hard. I just didn't want you to hurt yourself. Now sit up so we can talk more. You've said more today than in all the years I've been with you." Philly said as Selena sat up and Philly pulled her chair close so they could be face to face.

"I'm feeling more alive, and I've got a sore butt to prove it." She said rubbing her upper buttock.

"See? You are alive! You're so alive Selena. You aren't dead or in Purgatory, you are Selena Johnson, a very pretty young woman who has so much to live for. We still have a few walls to knock down but, do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Yes, I think so, but I have so many questions. I . . . ." She started to say.

"Wait, let me begin to fill you in on a lot of things and you can ask questions later unless there is anything that is just eating at you." Philly said knowing there might be a distraction she cannot avoid.

"Is my husband dead, or moved on to someone else?" She asked with a brave face, knowing she might have to fight off tears.

"No, he is not dead, nor has he moved on. Let that answer suffice for now until we begin to fill in blanks. Be brave and trust me." Philly said with a hopeful smile on her face that Selena answered with a smile herself.

"OK, I trust you. Now, one more question. Are my Mom and Dad still alive?"

"Yes, they are. Their search for you brought all this about."

Selena lit up like a Christmas tree with a smile and deep relieved sigh.

Philly opened her brief case and took out an envelope of photos. She pulled the coffee table behind her over and began to lay them out, one by one. 
They were pictures of, in order;
Her parent's home, her room, her parents, Joe's home, Joe, Joe and her together, she and her colleagues at Wall Street Global.

Selena stared at the photos and then picked up the picture of Joe and ran her hand over it and then kissed it, crying, then picking up the parents photo and clutching both of them to her heart. She cried hard, happy, tears for a few minutes and then calmed down with no words, no prodding from Philly.

"See? I told you could trust me. Now let me tell you what we are going to do. I'm going to move you to a smaller group, one where you can see television and learn what has been going on in the world. We are going to talk long and hard about the events that resulted in being brought here. We refer to that as 911. You refer to that as "the war", and it was a war in the most direct sense. We were attacked, but not since that day. You were at the epicenter of it all. This is what you have to deal with to understand everything that brought you here. The sooner you come to grips with all of that, the sooner we can move on. Now I know you're all excited by everything happening, and have much anticipation. But you've been here almost 9 years; I must ask you to be a bit patient while we get you up to speed. OK?" Philly asked her, hoping she might understand the reasoning.

"OK, but can I keep the pictures?" She asked

"Of course, you just have to understand that we may have to make things happen slowly for you, right now. Remember before, when you were overwhelmed? We don't want that again. If all goes well we can get you home soon." Philly said reaching to hold and squeeze her hands.

In Selena's mind she well understood what Philly meant. Her panic attack of earlier had put her on the edge and until she put all the pieces of the puzzle together she would heed Philly's words. It was, however, hard to keep from being too excited about her parents and now knowing Joe was alive. She felt more alive and in control already and suddenly felt there was a way out of all the hopelessness she had felt for so long.

Philly stood and opened the door and showed Selena the way out and the two of them went arm and arm up the hallway smiling.

"Do you want to sit in the social area with everyone else, or do you want to go to your room?" Philly asked.

Selena clutched the pictures to her chest and said "I would like to go to my room. Do I need to pack anything up?"

"No, they'll move the furniture to your new room and transfer the closet rod as well. They'll pick up your bathroom things too, all while you go out for dinner, I'll be in to help you say goodbye to everyone. The move will be made then. After dinner you'll leave with me, OK?" Philly said as they got to her door and stepped in.

"You'll have dinner in a little more than an hour. I'll be in the building if you need me, ask an orderly to page me. I'll help you get settled with your move and introduce you to your new group." She told her before leaving her.

Selena sat and stared at the pictures letting memories flow and remembering so much she was almost overwhelmed. Instead of panicking, she put the pictures aside and sat with her eyes closed taking deep breaths. She was so proud of herself, fighting off inner fears. The thought of going home scared her just a few hours ago, now she envisioned herself walking into the rear door and up the stairs to the kitchen, like she always did. Things were becoming clearer, but she still feared the times when she closed her eyes and saw bodies smashing to the ground. Could she get out and go home if that stayed with her?

As soon as Philly left the Sharpe Hive and was walking across the campus to her office she got a text message from Abby Strong. "Please come to my office ASAP. Selena's parents are here."

Philly knew it was much too soon for Selena to see them, too many blanks to fill in before that happened, but she knew they were determined to see her, if only through one way glass.

When she opened the door to Dr. Strong's office Betty Hanson stood and greeted her by saying "I understand our baby is beginning to get clearer, can you tell me how she is doing?"

"Please sit and I'll talk to you about Selena. She is progressing very fast, going from a very few words to quite talkative in just a few hours. I am a little worried about mental stress, but a large yoke was lifted from her this morning. It seems the time she spent here she thought she was dead and in Purgatory, like she was taught in the Catholic School by the nuns. Now, you may think that silly, but she knew she was dying when she lost the ability to breathe and when she came around she assumed she was on the other side. Even me, all dressed in white as I always am, she thought I was an angel. This brought about a lot of her fears that she might be sent to hell. This morning as everything was coming at her I had to subdue her with an injection, but she came around talkative again and she knows you've been looking for her. You shouldn't meet face to face quite yet, we want her to know of Joe and how he is doing first, she needs to understand 9/11 and put those fears out of her head. I think there is something in her mind that tells her the falling bodies and glass were attacks on her or Joe. She needs to come to the understanding that these people chose a quick form of death rather than burn and suffer, they weren't after her. This is what we will tackle in the next day or two. Now I know you want to see her and during dinner hour she will be where she can be viewed. Remember, this will be VERY emotional, be sure YOU are prepared." She warned.

"I've tried to talk her out of it, even though I want to see her so much myself. But we decided it will be good for us, lowering some of the stress and anticipation this has all brought on." Scott said.

The four of them got up and followed Abby Strong back across the campus to one of the "hives" buildings where she unlocked the door and brought them through a circular hall way that allowed access to all four "hives" in the building. She came to an unmarked door and opened it and all four went in. There was a four foot by 18 inch one way window that allowed viewing in one of the social rooms where meals were served. Kitchen staff was already setting places for the 12 clients, some of whom were milling close-by.

"If you were expecting something like you've seen in movies, it's not here. The clients in this section are our most extreme. We don't experiment on them; we study them and try to help them recover. You rarely see conflicts between clients. We don't take on violent cases, just those who are confused by reality and unable to accept life at face value. We try to get them into a process where they see a routine for each day and have one on one with therapists who try to answer the questions they have and encourage them to understand their lives and move on. If we knew who Selena's family was we would have asked she be placed in different care long ago had she not responded. Clearly, now we see she needed reinforcement of the fact she was alive and people loved her. Matrons and orderlies are beginning to ask the clients in for dinner, Selena should be coming in a moment." Dr. Strong told them as they settled into their seats and saw the tables being set.

Suddenly Scott Hansons face turned bright red and broke into a big smile as tears began streaming down his face. He saw Selena in the hallway entrance to the room. Betty saw his reaction and snapped her eyes to her daughter and fell to her knees at the window crying.

Selena was dressed in jeans and a long polo type shirt. Her hair was combed back straight and instead of the dour look they had seen in her picture, she looked bright and hopeful.

"God, for the first time she looks confident." Philly said as she took Betty's hand. "She really wants to work her way home."

Scott and Betty could do nothing but cry, although they were happy tears.

Betty spoke through her tears, "Her face looks a little fatter, and she was always very thin, a figure most girls would kill for. Her hair was a bit lighter than that dirty blonde, but with lots and lots of golden highlights, long and curly, so beautiful. But she's my baby out there. I just can't wait to hold her, kiss her, tell her how much I love and missed her."

 Scott couldn't talk, he just nodded his head and hugged Betty's arm. Finally he swallowed hard and looked to Philly. "She and Joe, they're so perfect for each other, that's going to be quite the reunion. I can't wait to see how happy she'll be."

They watched her eat and even talk a bit to the woman beside her, something she had never done before. She smiled and happily ate as Philly got up and told them, "I'm going to go down and tell them that Selena will be leaving the group so she can say her goodbyes to them. Her things are being moved to a new room in a different part of the building as we speak." 


In another clinic in New Jersey Joe Johnson looked impatiently out the window as an aide came into get his vitals.

"I thought I wasn't a patient anymore. Why do they need these?" He barked, letting his feelings overflow.

"Joe, I just work here, please co-operate. Dinner is almost out there, or do you want it in here. I used to eat in here with you sometimes." Jenna Wilson said with a cute little smile.

"You did? Who was I then?" Joe asked with a grin, knowing he went through a lot of changes.

"You were Paul then, and not as ornery as you are now." She said pouting. "As a matter of fact, you were downright charming." She finished with a blush.

"How long was I this Paul character?" Joe asked.

"Only a few days, but he broke a few hearts. He was handsome AND charming. Not handsome and ornery. He was a flirt, trying to get the girls to visit him at night."

"Did he succeed?" He asked raising an eyebrow.

"I think a few times." Jenna answered blushing.

"I think you know firsthand!" Joe said with a chuckle. 

"It's not very flattering to a woman to have her lover forget their intimacies. I know it's not your fault, but . . . ." She said, not trying to be insulted.

"At least I know Paul had good taste, Ms. Wilson. You're very attractive." Joe said turning on the charm.

"Not attractive enough to keep my husband away from the younger girls. That's why I got rid of him." She said, her mood changing quickly.

"Well, he was a fool. A woman with your looks, I bet, knows your way around, as well." Joe said hoping she took that as a compliment.

"Thank you, I think." She said " . . . and you want your dinner here or?"

"Please in here. They've given me some reading and I don't need the distractions out there." Joe said briskly.

"If you want to wait about 20 minutes, I could come in with both our dinners and I could distract you instead of them." She said with a seductive smile.

"Mrs. Robinson, I think you're trying to seduce me." Joe said using the quote from "The Graduate" After a chuckle to himself he looked at her seriously, "I'm flattered that you might want to join me, but I am married and would hate myself when I'm reunited with her."

"You have more character than my husband ever had. Umm, if it means anything, I only asked for seconds because it was so good the first time around." She said smiling as she left the room to get his dinner tray.

She came back right away with a tray of food and put it on his desk and gave him a wink.

Jenna Wilson remembered quite well her tryst with "Paul", a DFS patient in her wing. During Prime Time vacation months when the staff reached certain low levels to accommodate absences they worked "20 hour pay shifts". Your shift was from 4 pm until Midnight, then you slept "on call" on premises during an 8 hour break, and you were paid for 4 of those hours. Then you worked 8 am until 4 pm and were then off for 24 hours, beginning the same cycle again.

The staff room was right across from "Paul" and after significant flirting by each of them, he invited her to "come by and tuck me in." After finishing her shift at midnight and knowing all was quiet, she opened his door. She listened for a moment and decided he was asleep and she was afraid he may wake as someone else. She let the door close slowly until she heard, "Psst, I'm here. Did you chicken out, or are you just a tease?"

She knew horsing around with a client could get her fired, but he was in a room without camera's and maybe he would be someone else tomorrow, she slipped back in and went to sit beside his bed.

"Oh, I'm not a tease, I just wonder if you're all the man you try to sell to the nurses." Jenna said, challenging him.

"There's only one way to find out." He retorted.

"You're not shy are you?" She determined aloud as she put her hand under the sheet and reached for his package to find he was wearing nothing under the covers.

"Wow, neither are you!" He said as he felt one of her hands squeeze his cock.

"Didn't you ask me to come tuck you in?" She asked with a wry smile he could barely see in the ambient light from the outside.

"Ummm, I think I may have said suck me off." He said laughing.

Her hand gripped his cock tightly as she half stood and spoke directly to his face.
"That isn't going to happen. I don't like cum in my mouth, I prefer it sprayed on my belly or on my ass, . . . .and NEVER in my ass. That spot is off limits. Do we have an understanding?

For the first time since she came in he got serious, "We're both on the same page, I want us both to have a good time and walk away happy."

"OK," She said as she let go of his cock and pulled back the sheet, re-gripped his cock and pointed it toward her mouth as she bent over him.

"Ooooooh, if you're doing that to get me hard, you're done. But if you just like sucking it, I have all night. Ahhhhh." He said as she giggled a bit around the fat hard penis in her mouth.

"Paul" managed to get a hand under her white smock and squeeze her breasts through the heavy tee she wore, there was no bra.

Her breasts were nicely sized and round, but very fleshy after the 2 children she had. Her youthful firmness may have been gone, but the sensitivity wasn't as she moaned into his dick as he manipulated her nipples.

He pulled the hand from her breasts and boldly grabbed at her crotch through her pants prompting her to stand up and wordlessly tear off her clothes. She hadn't had sex for so long, she could wait no more. If he had any other foreplay plans she scuttled them by climbing on to him and the bed, straddling him. She reached under herself and placed the tip of his cock to her dripping pussy and sat back.

"God, you're so fuckin fat, you fill me right up. Hold on tight while I show you what I like." She said as she raised her knees and pressed her fists into the slot his armpits made. Pressing her feet hard into the mattress, the only part of her connected to the bed were her fists and feet and only her pussy touched him. Like a mechanical athlete she thrust her pussy up and down his cock like a piston in an engine. She came quickly and hard, biting her tongue to avoid making too much noise. She fell on him puffing and resting herself with his cock deep in her.

"More fuckee please," She whispered to him.

He gripped her around her back and tried to roll over with her, but the bed was too small, so he had to pull out and let her lay down, spread eagle, for him. He moved over her and stabbed her hard with his cock and began to fuck her in earnest. She pulled up a corner of the pillow to bite and hold her whoops of joy as he pounded her. Suddenly he stopped and sat back on his haunches.

"Gotta hold up so I don't cum yet, roll over." He ordered her as she did as he bid.

He ran his cockhead over the crease of her ass from the base of her spine, over her asshole, and down through the soaking lips of her pussy before he pushed the head in and sunk to the hilt in her. He slowly pumped her as his hands squeezed the perfect globes of her ass.

"This ass is the constant tease as you walk around here all day. I can never wait until you turn around so I can watch it pump and sway your walk away." He whispered as she was trying to get him to pump hard for another orgasm, but he made her wait as it built slowly for her.

He knew what he was doing as she trembled and her breath broke on the edge of her climax and then he started slamming her again. She came hard and fast into the pillow she thrust her face into it. Suddenly she felt him pull out and press his balls into her crease just before a long volley of cum shot to her neck and then splashed on her back and bottom.

He growled under his breath as he brought his hand to stroke another shot over the moon of her ass and then in another moment he dropped back to sit on his legs and wait for his breathing to return to normal.

Jenna fell forward, wishing she could go to sleep right there, but she had pressed her luck enough tonight.

"Take my t-shirt and wipe the cum off my back. I've got to get out of here before we might be caught. YOU are a GREAT fuck!" She said as he chuckled and got up and did as she wished, wiping and turning the shirt to be sure she was cleaned off.

When he was done she found her panties and slipped into them. She shook out the white pants and jumped into them before pulling on her smock and buttoning it up all the way to hide the fact she had nothing else on underneath. She rolled her tee and told him to put on something before getting back in bed. She slipped out the door and put her tee in her hamper and strolled the hallway to be sure all was calm. It was, and she went to bed listening to the monitor for trouble. She had no trouble falling asleep.

After she finished the shift and came back a day later "Paul" was another personality. His new personality did attempt to flirt, but she resisted any urges, thankful for her good luck not being found out.

Joe Johnson was a day from being released and telling his doctors he couldn't wait to get back out into the real world and explore the things he missed for the past nine years, as well as find his wife. As he sat reading in his room on the Sunday before his Monday release, Dr. JoAnne Culver knocked on his door.

"Can we talk Joe? I think I should make you aware of a few things." She said coming in and taking a seat beside him.

"Don't tell me you're not going to release me again, I . . . ." He started to say when she patted his hand and shook her head NO."

"Joe, you'll be free to go, but there will be restrictions you should know about. You're going to be under the Custodial Care of the Hansons for at least two weeks. They will supervise your day to day life as you work your way into society." She began before Joe protested.

"I DON'T need to be watched or locked up, the only thing driving me crazy is being here and not being able to find my wife." Joe said indignantly.

"Now Joe, I want you to understand this, don't let your bold determination stunt the facts. Now LISTEN. As far as the world thinks, you no longer exist. You have no ID, no drivers license, no bank accounts, no money, nothing. You will receive 5 notarized letters from the State of New Jersey stating your situation. These will assist you in getting established again. Should you need more, save one to bring to any state attorney general office and they should provide you with others. But don't do this until you have established picture ID from New York, the deed back on your house, proving residence, and at least one bank account. We both assume that the Hansons will assist you in the legal transfer of personal possessions. I can tell you that your finances alone will take a few good lawyers and a lot of red tape to get back to how they were. I don't want you to think you are walking out of here and everything will be as it was. It is going to be very frustrating at times. Don't end up back in the hospital because you fought the system over something neither you or they had any control of. I know your parents and family are gone. I want you to think of yourself as the Hansons own son and listen and do as they ask until things get back to whatever normalcy you can achieve. This is not going to be easy. Do you understand me?" Dr. Culver told him firmly.

Joe sighed deeply and hung his head for a minute looking up at Dr. Culver with a face of resignation.

"Yes, I understand. I knew there would be hassles, but you bring to light the most common and obvious ones, and I never even let them cross my mind. I don't even have a driver's license. I won't fight the system. I really just want to find my wife and see if she still wants me, loves me, . . . . . ." He said trailing off into tears as he turned his head to hide them.

Chapter 6

Dr. Culver had left Joe with a reassuring grip on his shoulder saying "I think you'll be fine.", but she wanted to get to a phone as soon as possible. Now was the time for the Hansons to tell Joe they had found Selena. He needed that weight taken from him.

She called their cell as they woke the morning after seeing Selena.

"Good Morning Mrs. Hanson, how are you this morning?" Dr. Culver said hoping she hadn't wakened them.

"I saw my daughter for the first time in 9 years yesterday afternoon and I feel fantastic!" She answered jubilantly.

"I think that's news you need to share with Joe as soon as possible. Tell him just what you know, that she is alive and progressing now that he has provided keys to some of her problems. Stress that you have not been able to see her face to face, but so far so good. Dr. Strong seems quite encouraged. Now, there are a lot of things we need to go over with Joe's release to your care, so be here early Monday." Culver said.

"Can we come over and do it in person, . . . today?" Betty asked.

"I know you want to share the emotion of it, so yes, please come today. Joe could use the pick me up. Stress that he may not be able to physically be with her for a while, maybe a couple weeks, depending on how she progresses." Dr. Culver warned.

At about the same time Saturday morning Selena was waking up in her new room. Nurse Practitioner Kim Tucker was her wake nurse again and she was greeted by a different smiling Selena today.

"Well, Hello Sunshine! Where does that smile come from?" Kim asked as she came in and opened the skylight. "It's like a Spring day outside, maybe you can get out for a walk today. Now let's go over the checklist before we talk. You know the routine, same as your other room; 

You slept well?
All through the night?
Any night sweats?
Bowel movement yesterday?
Female discharge?
Any discomfort?

"A big yes to that one, I got a sore butt where Philly gave me a shot yesterday." Selena said popping up from bed and turning around to pull up her night dress and show her.

"You DO have a nasty bruise there. Show it to her later. . . and no panties again, I see." Kim said smiling to her.

Selena blushed and said, "They're in the bed somewhere."
 

"It sounds like I have a full day with Philly, but a walk outside sounds great. Do you think you can help me do something with my hair? I hate this rat's nest I have! Oh, and one more thing, the curtains and carpet match, but I would love to take out the carpet." She said with a sly grin.

"My, aren't WE making plans for an escape! Is the first eligible man you see going to get the proposition of a lifetime?" Kim said as she poured a juice and prepared her pill cup. 
"No, somewhere out there my husband HAS to be looking for me. When he does we're going to lock ourselves in a room for 3 days." Selena said with a wide grin.

"Selena honey, remember things change in 9 years. Keep your hopes up, but don't set yourself up for a disappointment." She said handing her the pill cup and juice.

"In my dreams last night I remembered one thing that can't change. God made us for each other and changed our lives to be with each other. I am very sure of that." Selena said gulping down her pills.

"I'll put in a request for a stylist to come up, but on the other thing, don't get mad, and just understand they won't give you scissors or a razor. Talk to Philly, maybe she and I can help you there, maybe get you a wax." Kim said as she laid out towels for her shower.

"No, I don't wax; I shave and keep it smooth with creams. I'll talk to Philly. Thanks Kim." Selena said, sure of herself.

"The table is set for breakfast, so don't be long. They set up an omelet station for you ladies today." Kim said as she picked up a bit and left Selena on her own.

Kim Tucker went directly to a phone and called Philly Flowers.

"What did you do to Selena? She is a different woman this morning! I'm talking 180 degree turnaround. Very talkative instead of that foggy nod and head shake routine, asked me for a hair stylist, and even wants the stuff to give her pubic area a shave." Kim reported.

"She's been behind that wall and needed just a little of the right prodding to come out, do you believe it? I'll go over her case in re-caps once she's discharged, and I think she'll be out of here in less than a week." Philly told her.

"I noticed her only pills were vitamins this morning, is that right?" Kim wondered.

"So far, yes. I'm going to get with her right after breakfast and lay some heavy things on her and I'll see how she handles it. Breaking her code seemed pretty easy once we started calling her by name. I can't tell you about her specifically, but when I do patient recaps you'll know who she is." She said confidently 

The Selena Johnson that sat conversing with the other three women in her new "hive" was not even a shadow of the one that left her former the night before. She was confident and talkative and only had a problem when an orderly who was coming to pick up trays came in over her shoulder, causing her to startle and start to scream, before she caught herself, letting out only a whoop and almost falling to the floor. Selena apologized profusely and simply said she was caught off guard. By the time Philly Flowers came to get Selena, she had heard about the episode and figured they might address that with other things related to 911.

With Selena seeming more and more "normal" Philly decided to handle 911 with her "head on". She had the transcript of what Joe said happened that day and she also had the shot from the hip account in video that showed the planes hitting, the people jumping, the buildings falling and the mad rush out of the area. She began by reading Joe's account and then stopping to pick up where the 1st jet hit, interspersing the oral account and trying to keep the video real time to the account.

After seeing the first plane hit in the video, Selena began to cry, never seeing it before. She wept openly for the duration of the story, but never lost interest or wanted to turn away. She took it bravely. The hardest part was watching the bodies fall; hearing the eerie whistle they made as they broke through the air before impact. Selena became to understand that they weren't "attacks" on her and that those who chose to jump chose to die in a quicker, more dignified way than inevitable incineration. Selena wept hard as she began to understand it all. But, she never lost sight of the reality of what she went through.

Philly added as many post scripts as she could about the day, the nation's reaction, our war on terror, and where we stood at the moment. She ended by describing DFS (Dissociative Fugue State) to her and explained that many people who suffered severe shock that day may have had bouts with it citing the number of people who were "missing" only to show up 24 and 36 hours later.

"Selena some people have this DFS for long periods of time, weeks, months, and sometimes years. When they come out of it, they usually recover with total recall of their life, with only the DFS days missing." Philly explained as Selena listened intently.

"Is this what I had? Is that why you're explaining this to me? Was I another personality for any time? Was . . . . . ." She asked persistently interested in her own diagnosis until Philly stopped her.

"No, it was Joe. Joe was a DFS patient." Philly said.

"Oh, NO! MY JOE? Oh my GOD!" She said loudly holding her head before looking up wide eyed. "Where can I see him, and let me help him?" She asked.

"Calm down a bit Selena. It seems Joe has awoken from his fugue state and it appears he is back to normal. He is being observed to be sure there are no long term problems, but for all intents and purposes, shortly after he left you with the ambulance that day up until about 2 weeks ago, he measured the passing of one day. Do you understand what I'm saying?" Philly asked, knowing Selena was at a doorway where she might panic.

"No, I totally understand. I remember Doc Stevens, back at PolyTech, gave us an ethics problem dealing with this. Something about a will, already probated, and the man shows up alive a year later." Selena answered, apparently totally lucid and in control.

There was a silence between the two before Selena sat back and smiled. "Oh my God, my parents are totally friggin' rich! We didn't have time to lay out our wills the night we got married, it was a quickie for legal purposes, and left everything to them in case something tragic would happen. We didn't want the government to get everything, you know, set up scholarships and endowments and all that for each other and any children we may have."

At the mention of children Selena's face grew sullen and she sat back. She seemed to want to remember but couldn't put her finger on.

"Philly, can I still have kids after those female problems I had?" She asked.

"It may be hard, but you should be able to conceive. If there are problems there is always in vitro fertilization. You're still a young woman; I wouldn't let that worry me." Philly told her.

"It's just Joe had a reversed vasectomy and his chances of getting enough of the good stuff is reduced." She said and then she smiled wickedly. "If it means we have to spend weeks at a time making love, that's OK too!"

Philly felt that, at this point right then, if she released Selena to the world, she would have no problems. She seemed THAT normal, that lucid, and not showing any signs the paranoia and fear she exhibited for 9 years.

"Selena, I made another phone call this morning to explain your situation to some special friends of yours, the Wall Street Global Group. They were more than overjoyed to hear that you had survived after all. I was asked to extend warm wishes from the entire group." She told her.

"Oh my gosh! Nine years! Did they say who was still there?" Selena asked with a worried tone.

"I spoke with Deneigh Myersen-Cole and she said that you would be sad to hear that Charles Ford and Willis Menard had passed away. "The Five" were now . . . . ." she said as she fumbled her notes, "John Branniff, J. Trace Fountain, Ross Curran, Chielm Beupour, who had some sort of acronym or nickname she said you would recognize," She added as Selena smiled, "and a new member in the last year, Ms. Jamaica Browne. Deneigh also added that you should get in touch as soon as you are able." Philly said finishing and looking to Selena for any reaction.

"Oh, Charlie and Will were such sweet, sweet, smart men. It really hurts to not have been able to say goodbye to them." Selena said as tears began to run from her eyes before out and out crying. "You don't understand the bond we had. We all have the gift." She said through her tears and broken voice.

"The gift?" Philly asked.

"Oh, I know it sounds pretentious and self-serving, but we all have a keen sense of numbers and deduction. My old prof from PolyTech used to say it was "fact-fraction algebra" You put a fact times another fact over some numero-relevant fact or situation and we're able to come up with an answer or high probability result. My Joseph has it as well, so I might also assume this new Browne person does. Deneigh thinks she has it but apparently never quite put it all together, I guess, if she is still answering the phone." Selena said as she composed herself and then got reflective.

"Deneigh did add a personal thought that she "was still studying and close to getting her own seat.", she wanted you to know." Philly said smiling.

"She knows so much about the business and the operation, I just wonder if she has enough of "the gift"." Selena said, her mind working hard to put everything back where it should be.

She dried her tears and tried to compose herself and the two sat quietly as Selena was obviously reflecting. Philly looked at her and smiled taking her hands in hers and clasping them together.

"I think you've done it! When I look into your face I can see the curtain has dropped and you're so sure of yourself. I know you can feel it too, can't you?" Philly asked bringing Selena's hands to her mouth and kissing them. "Welcome back to the world!"


"Thank you so much for knowing the right buttons to push once you broke my fear. After I knew I might see Joe again I knew what I had to do. Once you said "No, he is not dead, nor has he moved on. Be brave and trust me.", it was cast in stone for me. Not to sound weird, but I would like to hug you and kiss you for bringing me back to life!" Selena said looking Philly in the eyes.

"That's not necessary, but I know how you feel. I feel very close to you right now, like we've finished a long journey." Philly said pulling her hands away, almost uncomfortably.

"I understand the feeling. I  . . . . . .  I was with a woman once and it was for the same feeling. It wasn't for sex it was . . . . ." Selena began before Philly stopped her with a finger to her lips.


"I know, I know. I've been there too and we shouldn't talk about these things. I'm your doctor and . . . you know." Philly whispered while looking at her knowingly.

Selena only smiled and nodded to the one person who understood her and made her feel normal after over 9 years.

"OK," Philly said as she stood to end their session, "you are going to get a complete physical with blood work and everything tomorrow. You'll have been off all medications for 24 hours soon and tomorrow we'll see how you're doing.

Sunday night Selena was watched closely to see her reactions to sleep and waking without any drugs or inducements. She seemed to have fallen asleep quickly and slept soundly all night getting almost 10 hours of sleep before she stirred. Any signs of paranoia or anxiousness were not visible as she seemed to have adjusted to her former life and its expectations.

Considering the whirlwind of confusion her brain had been put through, now that things began to line up in the proper order Selena seemed to have become the well ordered realist that she had been. Her perspective seemed to be that of getting back on the horse that threw her. Although her love for Joe consumed her, she hadn't let her real life fall off the track. She seemed determined to get back into the financial world and do everything to get back to where she was, despite any pitfalls her nine year absence was going to throw at her. As each hour passed since her "awakening" she grew more and more intact with the world she knew to be her life. Just 36 hours before the thought of a reunion with her parents had her hyperventilating. Now she was anxious, of course, but easily put the event aside to get the sleep she knew she needed.

Although nothing was made of it, it was noted by her Nurse Practitioner, Kim Tucker that she hadn't masturbated the night before, or if she had she kept the fact private. Even just the day before she was cavalier about her love of the practice, now she seemed mum on the fact.

APN (Advanced Psychiatric Nurse) Phyllis Flowers had spent the evening searching textbooks, the internet and disseminating information with colleagues about Selena, wondering if she too had suffered from some form of DFS (Dissociative Fugue State). The way she had woken up was much like Joe had made her think that, although she was definitely diagnosed as a paranoid borderline schizophrenic during the most of her stay. She had actually believed she was stuck in a limbo of sorts waiting to cross into a heaven or hell that awaited her. Her case was one for textbooks to study, but for now she just wanted to get Selena back into the world.

Once Selena was up, showered, and about for the day after her breakfast, Philly came to visit her and brought with her a stylist to do her hair. 

"Let's go into a private room where she can work while we talk." As the stylist grabbed a folding chair she set up next to a sofa in the private meeting room.
Selena was excited and quickly engaged the stylist with questions as she set up her equipment. Once giving the woman an idea of what she wanted she set about to cut and style her to Selena's wishes. While the stylist worked Philly engaged Selena in conversation.
"Who do you want to look so nice for?" Philly asked.

"I want my Mom and Dad to see me at my best, and then I hope I can go to see Joe, maybe help him in his recovery. You haven't said much about him, but just knowing he is alive and hasn't moved on has made me happy. I know if he sees me it will help him. Lastly, I want this for me. In all the time I've been here I've hated what looked back at me in the mirror. Feeling special is important to me." She told Philly confidently.

"Every reason she gave was a great sign", Philly thought as Selena told her. "She can walk out of here today!" 

"Selena, you know that when you do leave here, your parents will have to be caretakers for a time. You have no ID, no drivers' license, and for all intents and purposes, you don't legally exist. Coping with that will be hard on many levels until you establish yourself again. You'll have to be patient and dealing with it will be frustrating. I'll supply you with notarized letters explaining your situation as mandated by the State of New Jersey for just this type of situation. They should be accepted in New York, but they are not readily accepted in every state, do you understand that?"Philly asked.

"Yes, I'm familiar with the situation, it was something that came up once at Wall Street Global with an investment folio someone wanted to rename and reinvest with. We don't actually invest for people, we advise them, steer them with our best judgment." Selena said confidently between snips of the scissors.

"You realize you no longer work there, right?  Nurse Flowers asked to be sure Selena wasn't having a delusion. 

"Well, that's for them to decide, not me or you. I'm supposed to make a five year commitment to them and I fulfilled just a year, so I owe them four and if they want me to fulfill it, I will." Selena said without missing a beat.

The small talk continued until the hair dryer came on, making it impossible to have a conversation. Once the noise died down and the stylist passed the mirror around Selena's head to show her how she looked Selena simply bubbled.

"I've put those 9 years to bed, I swear. My hair is a little darker and my skin doesn't have as much glow as before, but I feel young and refreshed!"

"You DO look pretty and still quite young, if you're worried how the 9 years aged you. Remember you weren't in the sun very much during the time." Philly added.

As they conversed the stylist packed up her things and went about leaving as Philly and Selena talked. Selena was so happy to just communicate with someone, she easily engaged Philly with small talk as well as salting in points of her financial prowess. As the conversation grew Selena did not see the two people who entered the room from behind her.

As if on cue Philly said, "Why don't we go get a coffee and continue this?" as she stood.

Selena stood and turned to see her Mother and Father with tears streaming down their faces as she leapt into their arms. Few words were spoken for quite a few moments as the touch of a mother and father to their sole offspring was the only communication necessary. Finally Betty Hanson spoke through her tears.

"We shed so many tears for you, cried, and anguished for so many years, you are truly a dream come true, a miracle." She said as she tried to hug her even tighter before Scott Hanson sandwiched her and wept openly repeating over and over "My baby, my baby, I've prayed I could hold you again."

There were no real words to display the emotions of the 3 people who loved each other so deeply, so dearly. The parent/child bond was never more evident than in the display held so privately before an embarrassed Philly Flowers, who had shrunk to a corner and privately cried her own tears of emotion.

Once the initial surge of emotion had passed Philly came up to the 3 of them, who didn't want to stop holding each other, and said "Hampden has a suite at the Marriott they want the 3 of you to go to and use to catch up and re-acquaint your emotions before you bring Selena home. You can stay there as long as you need."

"Home?" Selena said through a quivering lip as tears began to freely flow once again. "I can go home?"

"Yes, my dearest Selena, home. My work with you here is through for now. I want to arrange some visits to help you get back into the world, but you seem ready to make the step without any crutch." Philly told her as she reached for her hands.

Selena shunned her hands and hugged her tightly.

"Thank you so much for all of the understanding, for shaking me out of my world and back into this one. I remember the moment when you grabbed me and threw me back from trying to run away. You finally had the keys and had all the answers then and I just needed to accept them. Thank you!" Selena said through happy tears as she hugged Philly.

The two broke their embrace and Selena sat down on the sofa behind her flanked by Betty and Scott. They all held hands and began the small talk that would begin the catch up of 9 years. Betty and Scott took turns taking Selena's hands into theirs as they talked about the little things that Selena had missed over the time she was unaware.

During this time Philly had slipped from the room and came back in without anyone noticing, but she was not alone. Joe Johnson was using every ounce of strength he had not to run to Selena, but he relished in seeing her and hearing her voice as she bubbled with her parents. Tears flowed from his eyes seeing her, and knowing that she seemed OK since last they were together.
 
Finally the sniff from one of his tears caught the attention of the 3 on the sofa and Selena turned to see Joe.

Unintelligible sounds came from her as she filled with emotion, tears seeming to flow like a faucet turned on and she struggled to get to her feet and run and jump into his arms in one movement as he moved towards her. They met just a few feet from where she was sitting and their arms entwined and lips met. They hadn't spoken a word yet after the tear soaked kiss as they looked deep into each other's eyes and embraced again, seeming to melt to the floor on their knees at first before falling to their sides on the carpet whispering in each other's ear words that were probably hard to make out through the emotion. Although their hello after 9 years was hardly over they rolled to their knees and eventually back to their feet, clutching each other tightly, as if letting go would make the other disappear. No words could describe the emotions they were going through. No one in the room could say a word or try to interrupt or curtail the reunion. The emotion was palpable.

"We have to understand that they are the only two people who didn't think they were lost in the attacks. In their hearts, they somehow knew the other was safe." Betty whispered to Scott as they watched them hug, touch and feel each other.

After a few more moments Betty and Scott got up to join in a group hug and cry.

Chapter 7

After an hour of red tape and exit interviews Selena was released to her parents' custody until her identification and residency could be established, much like they had for Joe. By the time they arrived at the Marriott and got into the suite Joe and Selena had still barely spoken to each other, spending their time looking into each other's face and touching. It was obvious that they had resigned themselves to not seeing each other ever again.

Scott and Betty had tried several times to start a conversation with the two of them, but there was a wall of emotion around them that was understandable.

"Let's leave the two of you alone to work out the emotion, the time spent apart, and the answers to the million questions you have for each other." Betty said after confiding with Scott.

They showed them to one of the rooms of the suite where they had already brought some clothes from their closet, new accessories and personal items for them. The room was small, a queen bed, desk and office chair, an easy chair, a dresser that served as a TV stand. It was essentially a small version of a standard room, with full bath, no closet, just a clothes rod and shelf. Joe sat in the easy chair and Selena on the edge of the bed opposite him. They held hands and looked into each other's eyes.

"It's like we were tossed off the earth." Joe said, talking first.

"Did we survive?" Selena asked.

"Understand, in my mind I'm only a few weeks removed and when I "woke up" you were all I thought of, all I cared about. After I learned it had been all of this time I thought you were either dead or had started a new life." Joe said, his voice quivering.

"I spent all of that time, counted each day, in abject fear of being damned to hell. My only peace and solace was alone in my bed at night, thinking of you, but not quite knowing WHO you were, because you would never abandon me like you did." She said looking away, averting her eyes for the last few words.

"Abandon you?  I was SAVING you! You were incoherent with your eyes fixed. I was in such pain I would have thrown myself to my death, except I had to be sure you were OK. Something was driving me away and I knew neither of us would survive if we went together. When I sit and try to relive that time I remember walking along a deserted freeway, although cars and trucks, ambulances filled the other side. I knew the hospital was close and I tried to get off by following a storm drain or something, and I fell. My body turned into a big intense hurt and I went out, thinking I was dying. The next thing I am cognizant of was waking at Edison . . . and wanting to see you soo badly!" Joe said as he fell forward crying into her arms.

Selena held him tightly, but there was still a coolness about her toward him. She broke into tears and hugged him saying, "but you left me there to die, you were the only one who knew . . . EVERYTHING!"

Joe pulled away from her and shook his head forcefully saying "No, no, no , NO, NO, NO!! I remember it like it just happened, because to me, IT DID! That ambulance was my only way of saving you, making sure you got the care. I had to keep moving, something drove me. But, I was looking for the hospital those guys said they were going to. Essy, I was so confused, wracked with pain, and living on adrenaline. I couldn't drag you any further with me because I didn't think I could make it . . . and don't ask "make it where?" because I don't know!! Everything about the time after I left you is a miasma. I was running as fast as I could and one foot was nailed to the floor. Don't think I left you to die. If I thought you would die I would have stayed with you and died with you. I can't live without you." He said pleading for her to understand.

"Essy . . . .it's so good to hear you call me my pet name. I love to hear you call me that." She said as she pulled back and looked into his eyes, before hugging her head to his shoulder as if to reminisce over some special moment.

"You ARE my Essy! No matter what state I was in, when I returned to normal, you were all I thought about. I was so sure you were gone, because no one would tell me anything. I spent three weeks trying to convince them who I was and they kept waiting for me to wake up as someone else. I didn't understand that 9 years had gone by." Joe said before his eyes welled up and he fought off weeping or out and out bawling before his bravado broke and he sobbed and blubbered.

Joe reached for her once again and held her to him as his tears flowed while screeching through his sobs,  "I just wanted YOU and to know you were still alive!"

Selena had never seen Joe so emotional, so engulfed in his fears and feelings.

"Joey, Joey, I'm here, WE'RE here and I still love you more than ever!" Selena said as she pressed herself to him and pulled him back onto the bed with her.

"I've just . . . . just . . . just had this feeling you were a little aloof about it all. . . . . . Like you didn't trust me or think I was . . . ." Joe mumbled through his tears and blubbering.

"JOE! Nine years of not knowing quite who I was, where I was and not knowing if YOU were dead or alive. For more than half of that time I was convinced you were out there with someone else and I was dead. I'm still discovering. Be patient with me." She told him as she held him to her and gently stroked the back of his head.

As she held him she felt something pressing against her lower belly.

"Oh God Joe, I've been waiting for that. I've even worried you might not find me sexy anymore, I wanted you so badly!" Selena said as she clasped him tightly and pressed herself to him.

Joe's tears finally stopped and he gathered himself as he lay atop her and raised himself to talk to her, pressing his hardness against her.

"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, how could I not find you sexy, not to mention the fact that I love you! When I would sit and reminisce about us I always had the image of us together in Jamaica. Your body golden, your hair like spun gold, and you wanting me every moment." Joe said almost shyly afraid the words might open a memory she wasn't sure of.

"Ohhhh, Jamaica! God Joe, I'll never look like that again!" She said almost embarrassed, her ardor fading fast.

"Are you kidding me? You still ARE the woman I was with in Jamaica. All you need is some sun on that body and the ocean in your hair." Joe said as he knelt himself up and took the bottom of her shirt and pushed it up to reveal her breasts, as she made no effort to stop him.                                                                                                                                                   

"Am I still a young girl there? I know my titties have changed." Selena said in disgust.

"Selena, my love, if we lived together every day of the last 9 years they still would have changed. But, your just wider and your nipples sit a little more on top when you stand. I've been admiring them through your shirt since I first laid eyes on you today." Joe said as he bent to kiss one before she pushed him away.

"No, my Mom and Dad are right out there!" She scolded him.

"You don't think they put us in here for just this reason? I want to be inside you! We can LOCK the door. Don't you want me to make love to you?" Joe asked frantically.

Selena looked at Joe sternly before her face melted into a tearful mess as she tried to squirm away from under him but he held her fast wanting to know what the matter could be.

"What is it? Don't you love me? Is there someone else?" Joe demanded, searching for a reason.

"No, no, no! " She blubbered through her tears, "If there's someone else it's me! From the first time I was allowed to be alone in a room to sleep I think I masturbated every night thinking of you. Afterwards I was filled with guilt because I thought I was in my afterlife, in a limbo, and the only thing keeping me there, away from heaven, away from hell, were my sins. In Catholic school they told us that it was a sin to enjoy your body like that. But I couldn't give you up! You probably think I'm crazy now and want to put me back in the hospital. The nuns said masturbation would make us crazy, and I'm the proof!"

Her crying subsided now that she had it out in the open, but she looked at Joe both hopefully and fearfully. He smiled softly at her and lowered his lips to hers and kissed her softly, and whispered...

"You know you're not crazy, and you know that enjoying your body, relieving your tensions, and wanting your lover aren't wrong. Think about it. You were paranoid that you were being judged by a greater being, and we certainly will be someday. But to judge what's morally wrong and morally right, our conscience is the real jury. If you believe in your heart of hearts that something is wrong, and you do it in spite of that, you've sinned against yourself. If you believe that we are a reflection of God, then you've also sinned against God. How could wanting your lover near, wishing your lover near, and taking the next best road to pleasure to make it seem he were near, be bad? Does God want us to deny ourselves pleasure when we judge it to be morally right and just?" Joe preached.

"It, . . . it seemed so right at the time I would do it, but in the morning I'd almost always have guilt and regrets, but I'm never sorry I did it." Selena said as her mind was still building moral structure after the years of haze.

She looked to be thinking far away from the situation and turned a cold stare to Joe.

"But how do you, or how did you, morally justify all the women you bedded down before me? Were you the worst sinner of all?" She asked, but not in a tone of judgment.

"Morally, I knew I wasn't killing someone, stealing from someone, or lying; those are the worst sins. I knew I was gratifying myself, and fulfilling pleasure that was sought after. I knew I wasn't leading someone on. We both knew what we wanted. Socially, many would frown upon my behavior then, and the church, no matter what denomination, might have called it sin. But, I never believed it damaged my relationship with God; That sounds smug and self-serving, but think of this scenario; 
A person who puts 13 doughnuts in the bag and tells the cashier there are 12, 
A person who puts a gun to the head of another and pulls the trigger, and
A person who sexually satisfies himself and a consenting partner.
If they were all to die at the same time, would God deal equal punishment, the denial of life everlasting in heaven to each of them? Who committed the real sin?" Joe said making a moralizing point.

"Joe, I see and understand your point, and I agree with it as we talked about all this when we first devoted ourselves to each other. Just understand that at the time, when I thought I was in Gods holding room, my mind was warped and I still have to put it all into perspective. I want to make love to you. My pussy is leaking through my underwear, my mouth hungers for the taste of you, but that whole morality thing hangs over me and my parents being on the other side of that door to hear us is the same as if God were here in the room. Don't laugh at that." Selena conceded and made her point.

"We can just be quiet! What's the worry?" He asked.

"I spent the better part of 9 years holding back myself, trying to be quiet as I pleasured myself. I want to be myself with my love. Do you know how long I've been looking forward to this moment, felt guilt over how I fantasized over it? I am not going to spare myself one speck of the pleasure, and I can't do that with my parents on the other side of that door!" She said quite convincingly.

"I suppose I understand, but it's still love we'd be making." Joe said hoping to make a point.

"OK, my love. Let me make love to you with my mouth and just as you're going to pour your seed over my tongue, please don't make a sound. Just quietly cum in my mouth and as I suck the last drops from you hard penis in my mouth, just lay still and smile." She said smugly as she reached for his crotch.

"Touche'." He said softly as he pushed her hand away and got up.

He straightened his clothes and walked towards the door.

"That's it, that's all we have?" Selena said starting to panic.

"Calm down, I'm going to take care of something." Joe said as he opened the door and went into the living area of the suite.

"Is everything OK?" Betty Hanson said as she was startled to see Joe so quickly.

"Yes, everything is fine, she just has one problem." Joe said taking a deep breath and then exhaling, not sure how to word his request.

"Could you two go to lunch for an hour or so? She says she can't "be herself" with her Mom and Dad in the next room. She loves and respects you both too much. Please understand. She'll be OK." Joe said sheepishly, not being able to look her straight in the eye.

Scott stood up and extended his hand to Betty.

"Come on Bett, I think I understand. If we were apart for a long time it might be the same thing if those two were on the other side of the wall." Scott said with a little grin on his face, despite a slight tone of disdain in his words.

"SEX is important, Scott and she's NOT 18 anymore. Besides it's intimacy she . . . um, THEY want and YOU would be just . . ." Betty started to say before Scott spoke up.

"ALRIGHT, I GET IT!!" Scott said as he extended his hand to Betty and headed toward the door.

Joe smiled to himself as if he had won a small victory of life and went back into their room and locked the door behind him.

Selena was in the bathroom and she called out that she would be right out.

"I took care of the intimacy problem." Joe said by the door.

"I know, I listened behind the door. Thank you. My Dad is going to be protective again for a bit. Humor him." She said behind the door as Joe heard the handle turn and she opened it.

Selena stepped out naked with one hand over her thick bush of pubic hair and her vagina.
"I'm sorry, I know you like to see my pink, but they wouldn't let me shave at the hospital." She said demurely as if offering herself for judgment. 

Joe's voice caught in his throat as he admired her body as he drank in her sexy shyness.

"Oh my God!" Joe said, his voice quivering as if he were about to break up. "You ARE the most beautiful woman God ever put on the earth." His voice trailing off as a tear escaped his eye..

Selena walked to him kissed away the tear, put her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder, now sobbing herself.

"I never thought I would ever feel you like this again." She said as she stood back and began to unbutton his shirt.

Joe went to help her but she pushed his hand away and continued unbuttoning until she took it just below the collar tips and pushed it over his shoulders to let fall off his arms.

 She smiled a devilish smile as she brought her hands to his belt and noticed the bulge growing already.

"You're such a beautiful man, I can't wait for this." She whispered as she unbuckled the belt and drew down his zipper.

She took hold of the top of his pants and pushed it together to unslide the clasp, letting his pants fall with the weight of his belt and things in his pockets.

She stood back and knelt to inspect the long scars on his legs from his knee replacements. She ran her fingers over them and looked up at him long and pouty.

"I wish I was there to comfort you after these surgeries. I loved taking care of you before. You let me show how much I love you." She said softly as she kissed up and down each scar.

"Of all the things I can't remember of the 9 years, I don't regret having a memory of going through that. The Ortho who did them told me that they pushed me extra hard in rehab because I wouldn't remember the struggle from day to day. The facility would have had to turn me over to another hospital if I were crippled at all." Joe said in an almost whisper, wanting her to know, but wanting to focus on other things right then.

"I'm so glad you're out of pain," She said as she looked up to him, her view being blocked by what had filled his shorts.

"Oh, I'm SO sorry!" She said as she adjusted her kneed stance and put both hands on the band of his jockeys and pulled them out and away from his package and then down his legs.

"Your cock is so beautiful, all hard, and wanting." She said as she ran her hands over it, squeezing it, kneading it.

"Oh god, I just have to taste it." She said as she opened her mouth and slipped it over the head and pulling it back from her lips to get every bit of the man flavor it offered.

Her eyes filled with tears as she took both hands and grasped him, pushing back what hadn't retracted already until her hands were pressed against his belly and his whole length stood out. She opened her mouth and put the head on her tongue and pushed her mouth as far onto him as she could before relenting as not to gag.

"You still taste like my love." She said as she looked up to him, but his eyes were rolled up in his head as he exhaled deeply.

"Good Lord, that's amazing, you make me feel so good, so special." He said as even his new knees wobbled.

She put her mouth over him a few more times as he groaned, but when he looked down at her and their eyes met he extended his hands for her to take and he helped her stand. He turned her and let her sit on the bed. He knelt between her legs and used his hands on her knees to spread her legs and let her lie back, her legs going in the air. He used his fingers to part the thick bush around her vagina and put his tongue right to her clit, before licking up and down her slit while she swooned loudly.

"Oh, how I've longed for your mouth to love my pussy so gentle and tender. I'll HAVE to get it nice and smooth for you so you can put it all in your mouth for me. Oh, Joey I've missed this soooo much, but I have to feel you inside me. My pussy needs you so much." She said through strained groans of pleasure as Joe took here cue and got to his feet.

He put his knees to the edge of the bed and put her legs onto his shoulders, bending her in half as he hovered over her waiting for the tip of his cock to fit into the wetness between her legs. When he felt her lips "kiss" him he pushed in and fully knelt on the bed, his feet coming off the floor.

Selena hollered a loud whoop as if being deflowered for the first time scrawling her face as she felt every hard inch of Joe fill her. Then a little smile crept over her face, relieving Joe from any thoughts he may have hurt her.

"This is what I've wanted for the thousands of days I was in my prison." She said happily.

"To get laid?" Joe asked.

"No! To have you make love to me! I could have had sex anytime I was in there. There was always so horny patient trying to egg me to sex when and if I ended up alone with one. I wanted YOU! I wanted to feel you inside of me like you are now. Fuck me Joey, make me crazy!" She said as her voice pitched high as if she might cry and swoon at the same time.

Joe hunched up and began to stroke within her, bending her in half with each stroke as she began to lose her breath and reach her first climax. Their eyes locked until Selena's eyeballs rolled up and almost out of sight as Joe felt her squeezing him within her. When he was sure this second orgasm had passed he stroked from her and backed his head from between her knees and let her fall only to flip her onto her knees. Her pussy looked to be a wet mouth in her thick bush and he aimed for it as she dropped her shoulders waiting to be sheathed again.

"Ohhhhh Goddddd!" She exclaimed as he filled her to the hilt and began to pump her hard as the slaps of their bodies echoed in the room. She panted and squealed as he grabbed the cheeks of her ass and fucked the daylights out of her. He felt his cum rising and wanted to delay one more time and stopped his assault on her to lean over and press his body to her while reaching around to hold her breasts.

"Truly heaven, truly heaven!" She whispered aloud as she tried to catch her breath.

Joe responded by kissing her back and giving her nipples a pinch before getting upright behind her and looking down at her spread ass and filled pussy. He wet his thumbs to rub over her little asshole to tease her, still irresistible despite the pubic hair that had been allowed to grow wild during her years of therapy. She growled a moan as her pressed and fiddled with the pliant little ring, although he never pressed into it. That play would come later.

He knew her body so intimately and completely that he did notice something different as he gripped her cheeks and ran his thumbs over her most private place. He was about to say something when the light allowed him to think he saw a scar running from below her anus to her vagina, what he knew to be an episiotomy scar. 

"When did she have a baby?" He shouted to himself.

It was a question he quickly answered, knowing if she had been aware of it, he would know. What happened in that hospital? He didn't want to upset Selena because certainly if she were aware of any such situation she would have said something immediately, only because of how dear she held her potential for motherhood.

"Joe, you're losing it, I can feel you shrinking. You didn't cum yet, did you?" Selena asked as he stopped any movement and fingerplay.

"No, No, I was just admiring how young and supple that ass of yours is. Do you like it when I hold it, play with it?" He said as he set his mind back to the task at hand while wondering how and where he might find information on her years in hospitals.

Joe began to saw in and out of her while his mind raced about what he might have seen, although he knew what it was, having been with enough women to know.

"Uh, uh, uh, uh," Selena barked out as she took her own orgasm to task as she punched her ass back at Joe, rising up on her elbows.

She was just bringing on her next spasm when she fell away from Joe, almost in shock.

"Oh God, don't cum in me! We have no idea what's happening with us yet!" she exclaimed

Joe was shocked at her quick move away from him and his straining cock, yelling "WHAT?" as he looked down at her.

"Joe, we better not chance it, Besides, I want a TASTE of that!" She said pointing and reaching for Joe's cock while she got to her knees on the bed and bent to all fours.

"When that door clicks shut, you are my naughty wife . . . . and I love you for it." Joe said smiling down at his wanton bride.

"I don't love you a speck less than the night we were married and besides, we've only had one night together being married. This is still the honeymoon where we discover each other's sexual likes and dislikes." She said as she bumped her lips and nose on the cock in her face.

"Do you think you like that?" He asked laughing.

`No, I LOVE this!" She said with a teasing grin before she opened her mouth and pushed her mouth over him.

She rocked back and forth a few times before Joe took up the task and gently fucking her mouth. All thoughts about the episiotomy scar left him as he concentrated on his own orgasm and the mouth that was going to make it happen.

Looking down at the intent face of Selena, with her eyes closed and drool spit dripping from her chin while taking the head and a bit more of his cock in and out of her mouth, he became powerfully aware of how much he loved her. So smart, so sexy, so wanton, so much the perfect woman even he couldn't have imagined. He wondered if she felt as blessed as he, wanting so much to be her perfect mate.

Suddenly all thoughts were dashed as his loins sent the message throughout his body and he exclaimed "Oh baby, I'm going to cum! I'M CUMMING!"

He reached with his hand to hold and squeeze his spittle wet dick and urge the seed from his sack while she hummed contentment and loudly swallowed his juice.

Joe ooohed and ahhhhed his way through the end of his orgasm until he could offer no more and his penis just became too sensitive for her ministrations and he sat back onto his legs, tipping his head up and closing his eyes to enjoy the pleasure vibe going through his body.

He felt her kissing his leg and he looked down to see her continue to kiss up his leg, over his belly and chest to his mouth as she slowly stood and bent over him, kissing him deeply and sharing the taste of his seed.

She stood straight and pulled his head to her belly as he wrapped his hands around her and held the balls of her shapely ass. He kissed her belly and instantly thought about the possibility that she may have been pregnant. He saw no stretch marks or any sign of carrying a child and knew that if it had happened, she was not aware of it.


After their reverie of making love for the first time since 911 Selena stepped off the bed and went to the cosmetic case her mother had brought for her. She giggled loudly as she turned to Joe with scissors in one hand and a pink disposable razor in the other.

"How would you like to clean this dinner plate and have a real feast?" She said gleefully with one hand on her crotch.

"Gladly, let's make it smooth like a baby!" Joe said as he hopped up and followed her to the bathroom.

The shave, and the resulting tongue and finger-play, took up the rest of their private time before Betty and Scott Hansen returned. They had just come out of their room to look for something to eat when they walked in the door, holding bags of leftovers.

"We went to a nice deli and got huge combination sandwiches we knew we could never finish, as well as a couple cole slaws and cheesecake to go. Will that satisfy a couple hungry appetites?" Betty asked. 

"Mom, you are the best, Dad too!" Selena said as she went up and hugged them both.

"Somebody is in a better mood than when we left." Scott said winking at Joe.

Selena blushed and playfully pushed her Dad away, but she was glad he understood.

Just then the phone rang; it was Philly Flowers calling to arrange a session with Selena for the following day.
  

"I hope she's doing well so far," Philly said to Betty,  "I'd like to get her first day impressions and then see her again in a couple more days before you go back. Spoon feeding the world to them is important, especially before they get immersed in their home and former lives. When they walk into their house they are going to feel like nothing has changed and they have to be accustomed to drastic changes before they tackle and understand that obstacle."

"I understand," Betty said, "They've spent these last few hours alone together and it seems to have done wonders for both of them."

"That's important too. Now, Doctor Culver would like me to meet with Joe as well, if he'll agree to it. She had said he was pretty stubborn about further treatment. He swears he's totally fine, but I would love to talk with him, get some impressions, and maybe help him understand a bit more of the process he'll have to deal with."

"I'll talk to him, and I can assure you, he'll agree to it. He's putty in my hands." Betty said.

Little did Betty know that Joe wanted to talk to her and would welcome a private meeting to discuss his suspicions and see what she might know.

On the following day Philly did meet with Selena and they had a 2 hour discussion that further cleared Philly's mind that releasing Selena was the right thing to do. Her grasp of reality and her expectations showed her inquisitive and logical thought process. She was ready to be spoon fed back into the world.

Nurse Flower's meeting with Joe showed her very much the same results, although the huge hole of time he had missed was still causing some mystery with him. Losing nine years was hard to swallow, no matter how logical your mind may be.

When they appeared to be about through Joe broke the ice about his questions about Selena by showing her a piece of plain logic to show his fears held some water.

"When Selena tells me the story of her Hospital and clinical "incarcerations" as she calls it I come up about 5 months, or 150 days, short." Joe said to her.

"Maybe she just lost track of some days and . . ." she started to say before Joe interrupted.

"No, the counts of the days were just too accurate. Remember she knows the exact day number where you took her to solve her female issues Is it possible that she might have been sedated for a long period if they thought she might hurt herself, or something? Last night while we getting intimate I noticed she has an episiotomy scar that runs from the bottom of her vagina almost to her anus. She fantasizes about having children and this is something she wouldn't hide from me." Joe told her emphatically.

"You're really serious about this, aren't you? I suppose I don't want to know the answer to this question, but how are you so familiar with episiotomy scars?" Philly asked.

"I've been with a LOT of women, some so vain that they have had plastic surgery to fix the scar. But, since most women who are "out" and putting themselves in play are completely shaven, I've seen them and I know them." Joe said a bit embarrassed.

Philly Flowers was taken a bit back by his comment, causing her to intone, "Apparently you slept with a lot of married women to become such an expert." She said almost snottily.

"If you must know, only once intentionally. If there were others, I wasn't aware of it. But, you don't have to be married to have had a baby. I'm not totally proud of who I was, but with Selena I'm just who she thinks I am. She knows my history all too well." He admitted.

Philly looked down at the floor in deep thought before looking into Joe's eyes to get a final read.

"I'll tell you what, I'll ask around with some of the people who saw her those first days and see if I find anything. If I don't, promise me you'll just drop this. I foresee a big bag or worms and if Selena ever finds out she may have HAD a baby, and there is NO proof - that scar could be from something else, it could set her back. OK?" Philly told him, almost scolding him.

In Philly Flowers mind, she thought Joe was onto something because of the discrepancy in the count of days. Selena was deeply paranoid at the time and knew each and every day of her stays. Nurse Flowers thought how she might approach this, knowing if there were any sort of cover-up she would be stonewalled. 

Chapter 8

Nurse Flowers had access to resources the general public would not be privy to and she quietly used them to piece together Selena Johnson's medical history from 9/11 until now. Her first problem was finding multiple records on her admittance to the hospital since Joe hadn't given her name and Emory Richards hadn't asked for it not knowing Joe was going to run away so quickly. She needed to be stabilized as well as they could before worrying about formalities. 

In accessing information online, even with her enhanced access to information out of view to the general public, it was apparent that some records were either scrubbed or not available. The transpositions of the field notes from the ambulance that Emory Richards reviewed in front of the Hansons didn't exist and a trip to Christian Hospital was going to be necessary. She decided to make it a cold call, as the Hansons had, just to assure herself that nothing funny was going on. Joe's discovery of the missing days, the fact that 911 was never brought into the mix on her case, differing reports of her mental state upon arrival some describing raging, and others catatonic, yet she told someone her name was Sue Johnson, were all just a bit too much conflicting.

There should have been a pregnancy test at some point early on to help determine the safety of certain medications and anesthesia, but none appeared to be done. An unconscious female being catheterized before surgery would most certainly be tested, yet none appeared. There were several redactions in the admitting nurse's notes with no photocopy of the original available, yet all other transcribed notes in the new database linked to the originals for viewing. Yet, Shelly Peters produced the original for Dr. Richards in the Hansons presence. When checking the admitting nurses initials, she found ER everywhere and the bottom signed E. Richards. He had admitted her himself. That was not entirely strange, but an RN should have counter-initialed his signature at the end. There were 3 instances where the letters "rdt" appeared in smaller font and gray type in the transcription. Philly went over in her head the standard procedure checklist for a trauma case with foul play suspected, as this should have been treated at the time. "Undergarment removed and bagged for DNA", "Semen present", and a note where vaginal bleeding is described as menstrual or sexual were all redacted.

"I wouldn't mind talking to the other attendant on that ambulance to see if I get the same story as Emory Richards account was." Philly thought to herself as she flipped through the URL's to get his name. It was then she realized that the other attendants name appeared nowhere in any of the documents pertaining to this case.

She typed quickly to seek information on the same ambulance for the day before, and day before that and found Emory Richards P.A. listed as EMT and Jack Spagner M.A. listed for each day. She looked up subsequent days and found the same. Why was his name washed from the 9/11 entries? Curious she call the H.R. Dept. at Christian Hospital to inquire about one of their employees, Jack Spagner, as he was being considered for a position and he had used Christian Hospital as a reference. After being referred to the proper person, an older woman's voice came on the line.

"You wanted information on Jack Spagner? You should know he uses the French-Canadian pronunciation "spahn-yay". He left here about 8 years ago and we don't give references after 24 months of separation." She told her.

Sensing the woman as older and perhaps a nosy type, she persisted.

"Oh? He listed the hospital as a reference." Nurse Flowers commented.

"Well, I suppose we might be the last place he was before he went to work for his brother."

"His brother?"

"Oh yes, his brother is the administrator at The Felsen Clinic."

Philly Flowers quickly thought about The Felsen Clinic. It was a brain studies hospital where mostly violent schizophrenic and multiple personality patients were studied, many times to give disposition to the courts for worthiness for trial or for social incarceration.

"Could this be the "White Room" she spoke of in her day count?" She thought to herself.

She always assumed that "White Room" meant the 7th floor at Christian Hospital where the atmosphere was "white" and non-criminal patients, traumatized or violent, usually being readied for drug rehab, were held and counseled until they were mentally prepared to be moved to a bridge to society.

Phyllis Flowers decided it was time to snoop around in the patient logs of both Christian Hospital and The Felsen Clinic. If there were a cover up going on with treatment method or lack of tests or hidden tests and results, one thing they couldn't cover up was the existence of the patient themselves. Since no one was apparently making claim of "Sue Johnson", they could ferry her around a bit without question. Patients with no viable means of payment or insurance were usually given over to state sponsored institutions after 10 days, but with overcrowding and understaffing the state was picking up the tab for some patients until they could be moved to one of their institutions. Once dollar one was paid there was a file on that patient and making them disappear was impossible.

Using her New Jersey State Medical Administrators ID she was able to start accessing admittance records of both facilities. Using Selena's day counts she began to look up patient transfers between the two places from September 20th, her count of 9 days forward of the "ambulance hospital", and the next 82 days of Selena's count of her stay in the "white room".

Philly set up an Excel file for 7th floor patients using the 9/19/01 roster and then used a system of tabbing discharges and transfers out. They were either sent: HOME, STATE HOSPITAL, FELSEN, HAMPDEN, MORGUE, or OTHER. Because Jane Doe's were sometime later identified, Nurse Flowers simply gave each patient a number that sub-texted a name when highlighted with the mouse. Of the 14 patients on the floor 4 were men and 10 were women. Three of the women were Jane Doe's given the names Jane Doe 2001-190, Jane Doe 2001-191, and Jane Doe 2001-192 by the hospital. Sue Johnson became the 15th patient on the floor. Daily notes by the nurses showed checkbox's for commonalities for these types of patients. Lucid, confused, restrained, Rx unaware, Rx aware, catheterized, pregnant, etc.

It appeared that "Sue Johnson" was restrained and kept on a low dose of something to keep her calm. Philly remembered that one comment written earlier was that she would "rage" whenever they weaned her off any drugs. She could only imagine her mental state.

In the entries for October 10th there were notations of Sue Johnson vomiting. At least once a day they tried to get her to sip pureed foods through a straw to supplement any intravenous feeding but they were afraid of her becoming "too aware" and choking. At some point during this time they did a pregnancy stick in her catheter bottle and she was marked as "pregnant". This entry appeared for the 11th and the 12th . Then the pregnant box was no longer checked. Strangely though, Jane Doe 2001-191, began to show "pregnant" on her daily chart. On November 21st Jane Doe 2001-191 was transferred to The Felsen Clinic where she remained until May 17th 2002. She apparently delivered a baby during that period and was then transferred to Hampden. However the admission forms to Hampden were for Sue Johnson and then a transfer back to Christian Hospital was placed for Jane Doe 2001-191.

The "human inventory keeping" was very sloppy and apparently overlooked by administration. The fact there were 3 Jane Doe's and Sue Johnson, who for all intents and purposes was also a Jane Doe, for whom they made unscrutinized moves and the changes went unnoticed. The sign-off on the daily patient list was done by a staff doctor, Jason Ulrich, but always with a stamped signature with initials ER beside it. Philly assumed that was Emory Richards.

Unless there were some problems, like a drastic change in one's health, a doctor, or intern probably went to the floor, looked at charts, asked a few questions, signed off, and left. Anyone there who was a "patient" (read paying customer) of a particular doctor was certainly covered in their rounds, but Jane and John Doe's and other wards of the state on loan for over-crowding, got wham-bam treatment unless they had a health problem besides the one that got them there.

APN Phyllis Flowers knew something was awry but wasn't sure of the ultimate source. Her questions about Emory Richards were always answered with glowing reviews. He was a complete competent orthopedic surgeon, a qualified Osteopath, and said to be one of the best Emergency Room triage Doctors according to any nurse who ever worked with him. So why was he apparently taking part in a cover up or scam with this one patient that he had fleeting contact with?

Although she had the initials APN (Advanced Psychiatric Nurse) with her name, many of the people she would like to engage on this matter would look at her as a "nurse. An APN is much more and since they very often witness abuse of those in psychiatric care. Nurses, doctors, orderlies, and anyone who comes in contact with the poor souls, can be having a bad day and forget that having extra patience is necessary. APN's need to address this with the patients and report to the Medical Examiners Board. New Jersey's Medical Examiners Board was called The State Medical Examiners Review Panel. It consisted of 8 members, plus a presiding officer who serves ex officio (an officer not necessarily part of the purpose of the board, but the keeper of common ethical standards). She hadn't had to seek the board for quite a few years so she checked to see if she might have a friend or willing ear that might at least inconspicuously look into problems here and decide if an investigation is needed.

Her heart fluttered and then sunk a bit when she saw the names on the current board and Dr. Shane Proctor's name jumped out at her. He had been her first love, meeting in Med School when she had aspirations to be an MD. After some time she caught him cheating and broke it off, a move she didn't get over for a long time. After a few months she had a few short term affairs to get back "into play" and she met Charlie, her husband. Charlie, better known as "Chucker" for his softball pitching prowess, was a production manager for a pharmaceutical manufacturer. Some eight years later she once again crossed paths with Shane at a Medical Convention in Pasadena. They struck up a friendship again, before the night was over, she found herself cheating on Charlie. It wasn't a vengeful move to prove dissatisfaction with her marriage, it was simply sex.

Morally she was sorry, but otherwise she negotiated with her conscience that sex with Shane was animal, dirty, horny sex and much like enjoying a ride at an amusement park. She still loved her husband very much, and had a very satisfying sexual relationship with him (still a couple times a week after 11 years, and occasional all bed weekends). Her dalliance with Shane posed no threat to her marriage, as long as it remained her secret. Shane was a Lothario who would never settle down. He told her when they split that he never intended on remaining true to her, even though he loved her more than anyone else he had ever had a relationship with, a line he obviously used many times.

She placed a call to a few of the hospitals and psychiatric centers she dealt with and worked in on a regular basis and asked about the Jersey State Medical Examiners Review Panel to see if they were as tough as she remembered when she interned. Two different administrators talked in particular of the handsome investigator who could catch you off guard with his good looks and then strike like a cobra, enforcing every little codicil to the last letter. He had left a long list of suspensions and warnings around the state. She knew of who they spoke, it had to be Shane, it was just his way.

Although she was convinced that Shane couldn't coerce her into bed again, she did feel a tingle within at the thought of it. Reluctantly she called the board and left a message for Shane to contact her. In the meantime she went back to meet with Scott and Betty Hanson. Joe and Selena had one more meeting with the Hampden and Edison people to secure ID's and proper paperwork to begin to rebuild their lives before returning home.

"I know that you both have faced a hundred questions and are sure to be interviewed a 100 more times in the next few weeks, but I do want to go over a few things as I step up and investigation of everything that went on with your daughter. Joe has brought some things to my attention that he believes to be irregular. He doesn't want to impair your daughter's recovery by involving her at this time, but I have found some things I think should be reviewed again." Nurse Flowers began as both Betty and especially Scott Hanson looked forlornly back at her, as if to say "what ELSE could there be"?

"Is there, or was there, any one you dealt with since you first saw the news report that started this whole thing that caused you to think that something wasn't right, or you were being lied to?" She asked without prompting them to indict anyone in particular.

"Oh YES!" Scott answered as Betty nodded vigorously.

"Christian Hospital! In the Administration office, the Peters lady who was in charge of information, records, and public relations." Betty blurted out.

"I didn't trust what was going on in that office from the start. I thought she tried to prompt the Richards fellow before he met with us. She had paged him and when he came into the office he walked in as if he were a regular visitor, past the receptionist and right in, closing the door behind him. I thought to myself "BULLSHIT", and we went right in behind him a second later while the receptionist tried to stop us. I had a bad feeling from the start in there!" Scott said, as if unloading something he wanted to say for quite some time.

"He seemed to resign himself to our questions while the Peters lady glared at him. Finally he spoke harshly to her that we deserved to get as many facts as possible. But still there was a cloak of secrecy that seemed to be there." Betty added as Scott nodded. 

"That's interesting because that is where I found there to be some unanswered questions." Philly told them as she opened her briefcase to go over some things with them.

"In all of the accounts of the day, the second ambulance person was never named, and that's bothered me." Scott said.

"Well, that fact and Ms. Peters both emit a stink for me as well. I have some feelers out at Christian. One of the therapists from my group is there every week and she is trying to get some information for me without stating reasons or drawing suspicion. I'll keep you posted and please don't mention to Selena anything about this, and for that matter, let's not let Joe know I spoke to you. Let's keep the waters as still as possible." Nurse Flowers said as she packed her things back into her briefcase.

As he finished and was about to leave Joe and Selena opened the door and came in. They had just finished working out in the exercise room and were going to shower before brunch.

"Are you here to see us? Do you have our papers?" Joe asked hopefully.

"No, I was just heading over to Hampden to give them the last information they needed to complete them and I thought I would stop and get it personally rather than call from there. You know, just checking up on you two." She said with a smile.

"I'm beginning to get charged, but I'm not looking forward to a media crunch. I haven't spoken with Joe about it, but I think I would like to go away for a week or so after this all comes out, let my parents deal with the initial surge, if they don't mind. I feel fragile, vulnerable, . . . .I'm not really sure of the word to apply but . . . ." Selena said as if unloading a burden, when her Mom interrupted. 

"Don't worry, we can do that, protect you from that." She said before Scott piped in.

"We think you should handle it through work. Let them announce your return and the general specifics. They can just answer "no comment" and something to the effect that she and her family have been through enough when the press fishes for more. We'll just engage local press. We only want the best for you Selena dear."

"Daddy, I don't think we should involve . . ." Selena started before Scott interrupted her.

"I've already spoken to Ross Curran. They will do anything you would like to make it easier and,  . . . . . . . . they want to know when you might come back." Scott said with a huge glowing smile.


Selena choked back tears at her father's words, happy to know that she was still considered part of that family. After swallowing and getting her composure back a bit she swallowed and said, "Thanks Daddy, I'll call them soon, after Joe and I have something planned out."

"We'll talk about all of this when we do our exit interviews, Selena. Ultimately you know it's up to you and Joe. Don't fret on it yet." Philly said as she went out the door and left the four of them alone.

"We're going to shower and go to brunch." Joe said as he took Selena's hand and headed toward their room.

"OK, we're going to go shopping and have lunch to give you two some alone time. Remember we have to go to Hampden for 3 o'clock so we'll be back by 2. Tomorrow afternoon we'll pack up and go to Edison for a 4 o'clock meeting and head home. You'll sleep in your own bed tomorrow night." Scott said hoping to get a smile from both of them.

The door clicked behind Selena and Joe and she looked at him and said "our own bed, I can't wait." As she twirled away from him and sat on the bed.

"Do you remember when we were on the way to the airport from Negril and you philosophized about our love-making saying, "How many days, like yesterdays marathon, do you have in your life; three or maybe four?" We had 2 days like that in that week, . . . I want to go back. Not to recapture or love, we haven't lost that, but to recapture the moment. I want to be alone with you without a worry in the world like it was then. I want to make love anytime and any way we want. To be open and free about our bodies. I want to put these nine years to rest before we go back to our lives. The world owes us that. Can we please, please, please?" She begged.

"You don't think we can do that in our own home?" Joe asked, knowing it wouldn't satisfy her.

"Can I walk with you on the beach in the moonlight and stop to take you in my mouth and hear you groan amidst the crashing of the waves. Can I plop my little ass in the sand and have you make my little button dance on your tongue while your finger skewers my hiney and hope the surf drowns my screams of ecstasy?" She said with a devilish grin.

"Nuff said, we'll go" He said with a laugh as he pushed her back onto the bed and affixed his mouth to hers.

After a moment she broke the kiss to say. "Come on, let's fuck in the shower, and then go down for the brunch. I'm starved and that Seafood Newburg we had the first day is all I could smell when we walked past this morning."

Joe pulled himself up and began to peel off his sweats while she did the same heading towards the bath.

When Philly Flowers got to Hampden that morning to check on her patients there was a note there for her to call Patti Clapp, the therapist from her group that worked at Christian Hospital. She had only spoken to her early the previous afternoon and was surprised she had something to say already.

"Hello Patti, I'm returning your call. Can you talk?" Nurse Flowers asked.

"Yes, I'm, alone in my office, on my cell. Apparently this Spagner guy is here a lot, he lives with someone in administration, a Michelle Peters, who must be the Shelly Peters you asked about. She's also a step-sister to the Doctor Richards you asked about. Richards and Spagner got into a real row some time back, right in the 7th floor solarium. I'm talking black eyes, teeth knocked out, broken ribs. The 7th floor head nurse, Gloria Sellars, has been there forever and she said it was over one of the patients, a Jane Doe. She claims she never got the whole story, but the Jane Doe was shipped out to Felsen right away and both Richards and Spagner were suspended. Spagner was fired in a private hearing, but he had resigned before then and went to work for his brother, who is CEO at Felsen. He's only a driver for him, moving patients around. Richards, on the other hand, was reinstated after his suspension. He knows Spagner is in the building from time to time and avoids him. Oddly, he keeps a close relationship with his step-sister and still manages to avoid Spagner. This nurse says that even though it's been 7 or 8 years since the brouhaha on the floor, Richards is on a short leash with the hospital and the Jersey Board. I think she knows more but was unwilling to let go. I didn't want to press her and think I was too interested. There's one busybody matron who always has a story. I'll see her this afternoon with one patient and I'll plant a few seeds and see what I get." Patti said, her curiosity obviously piqued by what she had heard.

"Oh, I'd appreciate that!" Philly said wondering if Patti saw the irony that she had come to her, Patti, because SHE was a busybody.

When Philly got home that night she noticed there was another message on her cell from Patti Clapp, but it was almost 11 o'clock and felt it was too late to call her back. She wondered to herself if she pressed this Dr. Richards he might come clean, IF there were anything to come clean about. If he still felt there was a short leash on his position at the hospital, or in the state, for that matter, maybe he would clear his conscience.

It was then Philly Flowers got the idea that just showing up in Peter's office WITH Shane 
Proctor in tow, requesting to see records for Selena, AND a meeting with Emory Richards. She would just need to know that Emory was on the schedule the day of the cold call. It was at that moment that she was startled by the touch of a hand on her shoulder while she sat at the kitchen table poring over notes.

"Oh Chucker! You startled me! I heard you snoring on the couch and I was going to get you up when I went to bed. I'm sorry I'm so late. I had things to clean up at Hampden to let a patient re-socialize, then Avis and I stopped at a Diner for a quick sandwich and we got BS-ing, and you know . . . . ." She said as she stood and turned to hug Charlie.

"Come on, I'll take you to bed and ease your stress." Charlie said as hand dropped to give her ass a squeeze.

She was about to say she was too tired when guilt crept over her about the tingle that she felt  when she had thought of Shane Proctor earlier. She hummed an approval to his grope and pressed to him tighter.

Charlie swept her up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom as he had many times in moments like these. He put her on the bed and straddled her waist and began to unbutton the top that matched her skirt that covered her frilly blouse.

"Chucker!" She whined. "Let me get out of these clothes before we tear at or stretch the button holes, please?

He smiled and got up from the bed and let her stand to begin unbuttoning her top and then slide off her skirt, placing them both neatly on the back of the chair at her dressing bureau. Before she could turn back she felt his hands go under her blouse and hold her tits.

"No bra? Maybe you should go over my knee." He chuckled as she swooned and unbuttoned the blouse while pushing her ass against his hardness.

"I'm wearing that top, all buttoned, over them and I don't need the bra, so confining and so hot." She giggled as he picked her up and sat back on the edge of the bed, she lying over his knees. He peeled the unbuttoned blouse from her and looked down at the barely covered bottom of his wife.

"Such little panties, they aren't going to protect you from a spanking." He said laughing as he rubbed her butt in circles.

"Give your bad girl a few of what she needs, but remember I have to sit down tomorrow." Philly said suddenly aching for the hard, hot, crack of his hand.

"You don't think I would hurt an ass this cute." He said as his hand slapped down hard on her right butt cheek.

"Sssssssss, . . . .ahhhhh. Oh that's it, now warm the other side." Philly said unnecessarily as the second crack struck just where she wanted it.

"Ssssssss . . . ahhhh." She repeated as she slid off his knees to hers.

"That's warm enough to get my pussy wet for you. Let's get your cock ready." She whispered as she fumbled with the jersey pants that served as his pajamas.

She pulled out his firm cock and put her mouth over it as far as she could before closing over it and sucking it all the way up. A chill ran up her spine as she tasted the salty man taste of penis while she buried her face into his crotch again, bobbing her head a few times before pulling her head off, and leaving a spit string from the tip to her lower lip.

"Fuck me Charlie, love that pussy up." She said as she pulled herself up and flopped on the bed, reaching down to slip off her panties before spreading her legs, knees up waiting for him.
 Charlie came to his feet and pushed his pants off the rest of the way and knelt between her legs. She reached for his cock and helped bring it to her dewy lips and he slid all the way into her.


"God Chucker, I love you so much. Don't ever doubt that. Fuck me good and hard, let me feel you all day tomorrow." She whispered as she held his head close to hers as his hips drove her ass deeper and deeper into the mattress. 

"I love you just as much, my little Philly fuck. I love you just as much." He whispered back as he built to his orgasm and spilled it inside her.

In a few moments they lay in sweaty junction huffing and puffing until their breath returned. With a deep tonguey kiss they said good night as they rolled in opposite directions on the bed and fell asleep.

Chapter 9

Making love to her husband was supposed to cool the pangs of guilt she felt over her affair with the man who possessed her cherry. It wasn't even the guilt over the act, it was the tingle she felt when she saw his name on the page on the internet. He still held that sort of grip over her sexuality. But if making love to Charlie was supposed to ease her mind, it only put her mind and body in a sexual frame as she drifted off to sleep. Her whole affair played out in her post-coital wet dreams...............

A first day at any convention or meeting of the minds was nerve wracking since you usually knew none or few of the people you were to share ideas with. This particular gathering was in San Diego and put on by The American College of Emergency Physicians and The American Psychiatric Association, "When does it become a psychiatric emergency? Or when does the broken body become the least of the patient's problems".

At 8:30 Philly Flowers studied the name tags on the table and was about to credential hers when she felt the buzz of her cell phone in her pocket.

"Hello?" She said as she got her nametag and brochure.

"Did you ignore me on purpose in the hotel this morning? I thought we had enough special moments that we really could stay friends." Shane Proctor said hoping she might recognize his voice.

"Shane? No I didn't see you, why didn't you call out?" Philly responded.

"Just in case you still hate me." Shane said smugly.

"I NEVER said I hate you, you just broke my heart and disappointed me more than I thought possible, but I got over it. You know I've been married for a few years now, right?" She asked.

"Of course, I hear things. We still have a lot of the same friends. Can we sit together on the floor today? I hate being stuck beside someone I don't know, or want to." Shane wondered.

"You've already had a chance to check out the female doctors on hand?" Philly asked, half serious, half kidding.

"No I didn't, but I doubt I could find one as pretty as you." He said in a flatter-flirt.

"You never turn it off, do you? Meet me at the entrance marked LOWER D. That should get us close to the middle towards the front. Don't dally because it starts in a half hour and would like to get settled." Philly said as she surveyed the floor plan in her brochure.

They met and hugged with an air kiss and moved to the section where Philly had wanted, taking notes as they both listened intently to the first 2 hour session. There would be a 30 minute break and then an hour of questions and answers, then a 90 minute lunch and rest break before the afternoon session.

In just their first few moments together Philly was reminded why she was so attracted to Shane in the first place. He was charming and seemed to exude sex. She was a sexual neophyte when they met in college. However, she hadn't started that way in High School. 

Upon returning to classes after her freshman year of high school, she and her then best friend Kerry Conner, whom she had spent the summer at YMCA camp with, were suddenly two well developed sophomore girls. Days of rowing crew in the sun helped young bodies blossom and both girls knew they could have their choice of guys at school. Young and horny, they compared notes seeing who was getting further experienced with boys, mostly handsome young athletes from the senior class.

Although "doing it" was their goal, Phyllis, as she was known then, was wary of "going ALL the way". They confided in each other about being felt up, taking off their tops to let boys nibble and nurse their pert young nipples which led to fingers plunging in and out of their wet little pussies. Kerry was the first to admit she put "it" in her mouth to avoid doing the big deed. Phyllis reluctantly followed her lead with boys begging for relief after being denied a chance to actually "do it" and not wanting to be called a tease. Suck, jerk, and squirt kept her a technical virgin.

Then one Saturday morning Kerry called her to talk about being forced to "give in". She may not have wanted to admit it, but she was raped. She complained how much it hurt and Phyllis decided to slow her own run for experience down. A month later Kerry learned she was pregnant. Her parents sent her away to have the baby and slowly Phyllis heard less and less from her. When she went to talk to Kerry's parents, they had moved and she never heard from Kerry again. Needless to say, Phyllis kept her virtue and slowed her fast ways. Staying popular by being easy was no way to go.

By her second year in med school she was dating very little because of her school and job workload. Shane Proctor had come into the bar where she waitressed and she recognized him as the handsome guy from her Biology class. He engaged her in conversation and immediately she was taken with how charming he was. He came back when she got out and he walked her to her dorm, stopping for a coffee. For the next few months, they saw each other every day, even if only briefly between classes. While she was determined to keep her technical virginity, it became harder and harder. Shane was an experienced and convincing lover who drove her to multiple orgasms over and over again with his fingers and tongue. Eventually one particular weekend in bed culminated with Shane sucking her engorged clit while his thick middle finger sawed in and out of her pussy and his pinkie doing the same in her ass. She could no longer stand the wait and pushed him away shouting, "Fuck me, just fuck me, PLEASE!" 

He accommodated her and thus began an incredible sex life for her. The mere sight of Shane made her crazy with desire for him and they satisfied each other in every way. It wasn't long thereafter in their relationship that she found he was keeping company with other girls. Her heart broken, she left school to reorganize her life and transferred to the psychiatric field. Despite how much he had hurt her, she sometimes longed for her long nights with him.

At the convention she decided to treat Shane cordially, but with a cold reserve. She was happy to see him and she wanted to eventually remain friends if only in order to co-exist in the medical world. During the first break he tried to act as nothing had ever happened between them and she would have none of that.

"Phyl, find us a spot to land and I'll go get us a couple coffees and a bite." Shane said pointing to a large non-smoking lounge area set up for breaks and lunches.

"I'll get my own coffee and snack and find a place to review my notes." She answered coldly as she walked past him into one of the coffee lines.

With her notes in arm she was walking to find a place to land and enjoy her coffee and Danish when Shane approached her again.

"So THAT'S how it's going to be? Just cordial acquaintances? Love affairs don't always work out Phyl. You wanted to settle down, and I still liked to play. I loved you too much to tell you to your face that I ran around and might never settle down. I'm sorry for that and I'm sorry you found out I wasn't true the way you did. But I'm not sorry you found out. You deserved so much better than me." Shane said in a particularly convincing contrite tone of voice.

"I just hope you never get your heart ripped from your body like you did mine, Shane. It was the deepest hurt I've ever had. You could have made it easier. Not only did I lose a lover, I lost respect for the person I respected and trusted most in the world." She said as she saw a wall bench with fold down shelf and sat.

Shane sat right beside her and she quickly pulled the shelf down between them and set her coffee and notes on it. It served as a way to separate herself from him and show the wall she had put up.

"So, this is it? Be friendly, but cut me off socially, make me some sort of pariah?" He said as she sipped her coffee and pored over her notes as if he weren't sitting there.

He leaned over to speak so only she could hear.

"I could have kept it hidden longer. I could have strung you out for the whole school year, but you were too good to be treated like that. I let you down the only way I knew how, because I LOVED you. But I never could be what you wanted." Shane insisted.

Without looking up from what she was doing she calmly said. "Oh? Loved me? What a nice way of showing it."

Lowering his whisper he said "I DID love you and you loved me and I have the memories of us together to prove it. You don't think I replay our times together, the trips, the talks, the SEX? You don't think I relive you on your knees in front of me sucking my cock like it was the font of life, or me doing the same to your pussy? How about you sitting on me, our hands intertwined while you bounced on my cock? I never took those times for granted."

Phyllis turned beet red and wanted to run from him now, but her clit suddenly perked up and her pussy watered while her face flushed.
"That's SO inappropriate, talking like that, Shane!" She said turning her face from his.

"I know, but I want YOU to know that I know what I lost when I turned my back on your love and cheated. I wanted to tell you that I could change, but I couldn't lie to you." Shane said still leaning into her ear.

"Wait, are you making a play for me now? Do you want me to just leave my husband because YOU say YOU'RE READY?" She said trying to whisper, but losing her temper.

"NO, NO, NO! Of course not. I had my chance for you and I threw it away. I chased and screwed around with as many women as I could, but you were the one I knew I should have stayed with, but it just isn't me. Now I'm 35 and still chasing skirts trying to be contented one day at a time." He said admitting what haunted him.

Phyllis' eyes were welling with tears as her body yearned for the way Shane played it so many years ago. She could not speak in response to him.

"Why don't you go in and freshen up, dry your eyes and compose yourself for the next session? That is, if you still want to sit with me." Shane said in his typical, thoughtful, yet charming manner.

"Of course I do!" She replied as she got up and headed for the Ladies Room, telling Shane to wait for her. She stopped and came back to him and he stood to see what the matter was.

"After all the heartbreak, the tears, the nights I spent hoping you would just disappear from the face of the earth, I can still call you my friend. A rat bastard as a boyfriend, but a friend. Just the couple hours we've spent today shows me that deep inside you lies the friend I first knew that blossomed into a love affair. We can't redo the love affair, but I still want you as a friend." She said through a few tears. "Now, let me freshen up."
When she went into the Ladies Room it wasn't the tears she needed to dry, it was her panties. As much as she didn't want to admit it, his description of their sex touched a place inside her that hadn't been tapped for a long while. The sex with her husband was great, but sex with Shane was magnificent!

She wiped her pussy dry and put in a light day pad to keep from embarrassing herself later. In a few minutes she was walking up the hallway with Shane for the next session.

Once they settled they were both quiet while they listened to the Q & A session. As it wound down Shane leaned over to her and asked if he could buy her lunch.

"No, I'll expense my own, but we can eat together if you want." She said, not wanting to get close to him thinking it was a date.

"Oh sure!" He answered, seeing the way it had to be.

Over lunch they caught up with each other's professional careers and personal lives. By the end of lunch it was apparent that Philly had softened her stance on opening up to Shane. Her body language had changed dramatically from earlier. She caught herself touching his arm, smiling and winking to him as the day moved forward. At the end of the day's meetings the "friend" Shane was back in her life and she felt like a college girl again.

He asked her to dinner, but she said she had to call home and talk to her husband and see how things were. She had phone calls to return, patients she needed to check status of, plus she wanted to shower and get the convention room smell from her clothes and hair.

By the time 7 o'clock rolled around she was through with the things she needed to do and felt hungry and got dressed to go get a bite. She chose a light fabric pink dress that would keep her cool in the heat since she had decided to dine in the casual restaurant at the hotel, The Atrium. As she walked past the packed bar and lounge area she could see it was a meat market for the local women, hoping to net a doctor, and of course attached and unattached MD's were eating it up.

She was just waiting for the hostess to bring her to a table when she heard the tic-tac of shoes racing her way. She turned and it was Shane.

"I thought you were going to forego dinner, or was it just me you wanted to forego?" He said smiling, hoping to get an honest answer.

"No" she laughed, "I just didn't know how long I would be and I didn't want to hold you up."

"Am I too late to buy you dinner, or would you rather eat alone. . . . I'll understand ,  . . really." He asked tentatively.

"We both have expense accounts and I would rather pay for my own, but if you would like to join me I'd love the company." She said smiling.

Having changed into a Polo and nice fitting jeans, Shane looked nice out of his coat and tie. It was a look that was not lost on Philly. When he excused himself to go to the Men's room, blaming the beer he had earlier, Philly flushed as she watched him walk away. She admitted to herself that Shane was still beefcake to her eyes and she wished she had kept the pad in her panties. During the rest of dinner she resisted thinking about him in a sexual way, but it was hard.

He walked her to the elevator and said, "Don't take this the wrong way, but I've got a bottle of wine in the room and a guy I know at Rainbow Media out here gave me a copy of a new movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding", um . . . . supposed to be real funny, that starts in theaters next month. Would you like to . . . . .no strings, really."

Philly was intrigued by his invitation and the thought of getting a little closer to him just to get some masturbation fodder for later made her say OK. He had a small suite with a living room and a sofa and while she sat down he put in the movie and poured wine.

They laughed and cajoled each other during the movie, she being careful not to drink too much wine, he hoping she didn't notice how many times he glanced to see her laugh.

It was just passed 10 when Philly said "We better break this up, another long day of speakers tomorrow. Thanks, Shane, for the day. It was nice getting reacquainted."

"Sure, it was nice for me too. Thanks." He said as he leaned over to kiss her cheek.

But she turned her lips to him and they kissed, both of them pulling away quick, knowing they shouldn't.  She was about to get up when his scent made her go in for one more. He didn't seem to kiss back at first but she persisted and their lips locked.

"God, this feels so GOOD!" Philly thought to herself as she pressed her mouth to him even harder and pushed her tongue to him. That was the only cue Shane needed to kiss back, and kiss back hard. All of a sudden it was necking, fierce necking, and then Philly pulled away fast.

"God, NO! I can't do this. I'm married and I love my husband!"

"Are you going to tell him?"

"Of course not!"

"Why can't we go a little further and not tell him THAT either? This feels so right." Shane said as he slid to the floor and hugged his face to her knees.

"Noooooo, Shane" She whined while not making any effort to thwart him besides tightening her knees together.

"If I part these knees I'll bet there's just a little piece of cotton separating your little pink pussy and my mouth." He sing-songed with a laugh at the end while he fit a knee in each hand between his thumb and forefinger.

"Nooooo, Shane. I SHOULDN'T be doing this." She said leaning back in exasperation, while letting her knees be pulled open.

Shane pushed her little dress up till his thumbs pressed at her hip bone and the rest of his hand wrapped the side of her waist he pulled her torso toward him.

"Oh Godddd SHANE! I shouldn't be doing this. YOU shouldn't be doing this!" She said as he pulled aside the soaking wet gusset of her panty.

"It looks so delicious!" He said as he blew softly between her legs.

"Eat me, Shane. You bad boy, eat me and make me crazy like you always did!"

Shane needed no further prodding as he pulled her even closer to his mouth and he slurped up all of her juices and sucked at her clit. He plunged a finger in her and pushed it just behind her clit keeping pressure from both sides of the hot little fuse.

Her ass began to almost bounce on the sofa looking like she might be trying to dislodge him or push it harder to his face. He knelt up straighter and slid his hands under the balls of her ass, holding her quim to his face while the tips of both middle fingers met at her asshole as he softly squeezed her pretty ass. Finally she could take no more as she let out a muffled guttural report and she covered his face with her cream and whatever it is a women ejaculates from her g-spot.

Both her hands went between her legs as she moaned in post orgasmic bliss. At one point she pushed her panties off and began to wipe her pussy and between her ass, drying what she had shot out. Her feet were on the carpet now and she was half way slouched off the sofa when she felt pressure on the sofa beside her. She opened her eyes to see the bulge, complete with wet spot, of the front of Shane's jeans.

"Oh Nooooo, Shane. I've been bad enough already. Oh GOD!" she said as she reached out and rubbed the bulge.

She knew she wanted to take him out, but knew what would happen if she did, and she wanted it.

She reached out and rubbed the bulge again and even leaned up and kissed it before she started shaking her head, back and forth.

"So wrong, so wrong, but I want it so bad" She repeated as she continually shook her head no.

Then she reached for his belt and undid it, unsnapped his jeans and slowly pulled down the zipper. Tears formed at the corner of her eyes as she repeated. "So bad, I'm so bad." Still shaking her head.

Shane reached down and ran his hand over her hair, petting it. "You're not bad, you're just enjoying yourself, fulfilling needs."

"Shane I want this soooo bad, please help me."

"Prove to yourself how bad you want it. Take it out. You're not bad, you're sweet."

She peeled back the flaps of his jeans and pulled the waist band away pushing everything down below his balls. She cried more tears as her little fingers touched and held him. She looked up at him and then brought her mouth to the tip and covered the head.

Philly thrust her mouth as far over him as she could fit to get every bit of man taste she could from him, then she gently slid her mouth over and over the head and just behind on the shaft. Her eyes closed, she was in another place as she sucked him, holding his ass in her hands.

It didn't take long for Shane to begin to breath heavy and puff.

"You can have my cum, but I want to fuck you, just one more time. You know how we liked it." Shane said in a whisper.

Philly let him fall from her mouth and slid to the floor on her knees. She pulled her dress up over her head and tossed it aside before unhooking her bra and letting it fall. She fell forward and crossed her arms to lay her head in the crux, while leaving her ass up in the air.

In the meantime Shane had taken his pants the rest of the way of and knelt behind Philly running his hands up over her back and then down around to pinch and squeeze her nipples. He kissed her back and then knelt up straight. He lined his cock up between the well trimmed furry lips of her sex hole and plunged in. He held himself tight to her bottom cheeks while she swooned at the intrusion. When he began to move he quickly began to jackhammer at her, a move she apparently liked as she let out a long hum accentuated only by force behind her. 

"MmmmmmmmMMMM, MmmmmmmmMMMM, MmmmmmmMMMM." Was her steady mantra as he plowed her. It was a fuck she would feel all the next day and apparently she liked that.

"You're so fucking tight, I'm GONNA CUM!" Shane cried out and Philly instantly fell forward off him, then turned and scrambled for the tip of his cock.

The first stream flew into the air and hit her just below her breasts as she moved her mouth to him. A second jet hit her chin before she could fit her mouth over him and suck out the last he had to give. When she could get no more from him she lifted her mouth and sprawled forward and dropped her face upon the sofa, almost seeming to pass out.

"I'm an awful person for what I just did." Philly said when she opened her eyes and say Shane lying on the carpet with his back against the front of the sofa, his face just inches from hers. "But, I'm not sorry it happened."

"Blame me, I pressured you." He said hanging his head.

"No, if I didn't want it to happen, it wouldn't have. My protests were to my conscience, not you."  She sighed.

Philly brought herself to her feet and looked for her panties and bra, putting them on as she found them. She picked up her dress and searched for the armholes.

"Don't go, stay the night." He protested.

"Nothing else is going to happen." She said sternly.

"No, I know. I just have the feeling a lot of guilt is going to make it a long night for you. I can be your sounding board, your buffer." Shane insisted.

"I'm OK Shane. If this had something to do with love, I would be torn up. This was pleasure with someone I trusted. Oh, I'll feel guilt, and I should. But this goes no further." She said, sounding a bit sad.

"I never want to be the reason for two people to break up." He almost whispered as emotion came over him.

"You won't Shane, and it's nice to see you've developed some sort of conscience for your lifestyle." Philly remarked as she walked towards the door and Shane got up to see her out.

"God, I smell like sweat and cum. Is there any in my hair? Although I don't suppose there will be anyone else on the elevator at one o'clock in the morning." She mused.

"Good night, see you at the breakfast at 8?" He asked.

"OK, meet me in the hallway down there." She agreed and closed the door behind her.

Chapter 10 
Refreshed by sleep and a hot shower Philly was glad she wasn't torn apart by guilt. She knew she still loved her husband and held nothing more than a sexual connection to Shane Proctor. She was glad she hadn't woken with him as she scanned the queue of people waiting outside the breakfast area. He didn't seem to be down yet and she scanned each elevator arrival looking for him. Finally, just when she was about to give up after waiting near 10 minutes, he came off one car with a young redhead he was engaging in conversation.

Philly waved and headed in to find a seat, not wishing to witness Shane set up another date. However he was just behind her when she sat. There were cups and carafe's of coffee and a menu with three choices of breakfasts. Fruit and scones, Eggs, any style, with meat, and Eggs, any style, without meat. A waitress rushed to the new arrivals and took their order as Shane remarked how it was a fast and efficient way to serve 400 people hot breakfast.

As they sipped coffee, seeming to avoid each other's eyes Shane finally spoke up.

"Your husband is a very lucky man."

"How so?"

"Well, if I may get brutally personal . . . . ."

She leaned over to him and whispered low, "I had your penis coated with my pussy and your cum in my mouth not 12 hours ago. We've gotten brutally personal."

"You're very good at sex, you bring out the animal in a man."

"I was pretty innocent when I met you, I believe it's you who's the expert."

"No, seriously, I don't have THAT effect on other woman, and I certainly don't get that kind of . . . . uh . . pleasure, with anyone else."

"If you're looking for a repeat, you can stop the flattery now. NOT happening!" She whispered emphatically.

"No, definitely not! We did something beautiful with each other last night that can't be repeated. In case you're wondering, that was NEVER my intention.  It just happened."

"I'll take you at your word at that. Now let's drop the subject."

 Suddenly Philly was startled awake by the ringing of the phone. She tried to wipe the cobwebs from her dream of Shane Proctor and realize where she was. She saw the time as 7:00 a.m. and reached for the phone, then discovering it was her cell phone, not home phone.

"Phil, answer that!" Charlie wailed from the other side of the bed just as Philly clicked on.

"Philly it's Patti! You're getting me into trouble at Christian Hospital! I had a call this morning that if continued to ask questions they would complain to the practice. I said I was just socializing and she interrupted me with a loud "END IT, you don't want to get involved" and slammed the phone down."

"Sorry if I got you in hot water, just do as they say and stay away from anyone you questioned for a few days. Make it obvious you aren't interested and were just gossiping.
I'll cover for you with the practice." Philly told her. 

Philly would love to know who called Patti, although she suspected it was Shelly Peters. One thing was for sure, there is a constant watch on who asks questions about Jack Spagner.  Obviously Emory Richards knew something and someone was helping protect secrets. The State Medical Examiners Review Panel must have a file on each of them and although she couldn't access them, she could ask Shane Proctor to review them with the evidence she might have. She hoped to hear from Shane soon.

Charlie had gotten up to pee after being awakened by the phone and stayed in the bath to shower, as it was close to their regular 7:15 alarm. Philly peeled back the covers and realized she was naked from the night before romp. As she began to roll out she hit a large cold wet spot and jumped because it was obviously not still cum from the night before. There was a large, 12 inch or more, circle of wetness under her and she wondered if she peed. Then she remembered her dream, playing out her affair with Shane. She blushed, but smiled to herself that the memory would still elicit such reaction.

Forty five minutes later, with a piece of toast in one hand and a coffee in the other she stood in front of the TV to get the days weather. She finished the last bite of toast and was quaffing coffee so as to leave and be at Hampden for the days appointments when her cell rang once again.

"I thought when we got together in San Diego we decided we could work together professionally, and it took you almost 8 years to call me?" Shane said without even a hello.

"Hey, you have a phone too, Shane" She retorted.

"I was afraid if I called you it might look like a booty call." He joked.

"That's not funny, but I understand your thinking. That was a wonderful night and in many ways I don't regret it, but I'm sure you understand the ways I do." She answered curtly.

"Tell me Shane, where does your schedule bring you today?"

"I'm just outside Edison right now, I have a meeting at 9 a.m. in Milford and have to be back in Trenton at 1:00 o'clock then I've got a shock visit with a team to a hospital at 4. Obviously I can't say where." He said.

"Anywhere near Jersey City at 3:00 this afternoon?" She asked.

"Yes, as a matter of fact I could be, why?"

"I really need to talk to you about a potential problem, one that, if true, could be huge.
Ummm, I sort of trapped you, . . . . you're going to Christian Hospital, aren't you." 

"I can't tell you yes or no, but please don't mention this call to anyone, OK?"

"Remember the Skyway Diner?" She asked.

"Yes, it's right on my route."

"I know, I'll meet you there at 3:00, OK?"

Except for a few casual waves in passing at medical facilities, they hadn't seen each other since San Diego. Philly was surprised to see Shane already seated in a booth when she got there.

 "How are you, so good to see you." Shane said as he got up and waited for her to sit, always the gentleman.

"I'm well, Shane. Always good to see you. I'm hoping you can help me out. There's a story that is just going to break nationally, and it's really quite unbelievable, literally."

With those words Philly began to tell Shane the whole story of Selena and Joe and how they got out alive and survived the last 9 years. When Philly got to the part about possible stonewalling by Shelley Peters, Shane stopped her.

"Wait! You're not jerking me around; you don't have any inside information on why we're going there today?" He said looking at her incredulously. 

"No, why?" She asked taken aback by the accusation.

"Emory Richards has petitioned the board to take him off probation and get his suspension wiped from his record. In our investigation we wanted to see how he and 
Jack Spagner fared since their altercation, . . . umm" He said fumbling through papers in his folder till he found the  one with the term he sought, . . .  " in an open patient area putting staff and clients in danger"

"Now this is strictly confidential Philly, swear on everything we ever meant to each other you'll keep it that way . . . ." He said as she nodded and touched his hand.
"In every incident report from the last 10 years, Jack Spagner's name has been redacted and most anything he and Richards worked on together is not in the electronic file, only in the manual file, and that is kept in Ms. Peter's desk. When she is questioned about it she puts an SD card in her computer that suddenly fills the missing holes. You can see the records, but only in her presence." He said with a quizzical look on his face.

"You DO know that she and Spagner live together and she is Richards's step-sister." She asked.

"Oh, I didn't know they were a couple. THAT must be awkward. I knew she was his step-sister." He said.

"Why is this Dr. Richards suddenly hot to get his name off probation?" Philly wondered aloud.

"There's an opening at Hackensack General for an ER Chief of Staff. He's more than qualified, and by everything we see, a very good doctor. If he was clean, we were going to wipe his record and recommend him, and this whole Spagner cover-up thing sprouted from it all. It really shouldn't affect Richards in the long run." Shane said casually.

Philly near jumped out of the booth at him, grabbing both arms just above his wrists.

"You've GOT to question him on what I've shown you!! He KNOWS something about all of this stuff with Spagner, that's what the fight was over, and something to do with the Jane Doe transfers and a Jane Doe's baby!"

"Hey, calm down, I can't go and accuse him of something based on your circumstantial evidence, especially when I'm going there to tell him his record is now clean and will probably get the Hackensack job." Shane said dismissing her. "It's bad enough I have to go into the hospital to meet with this Peter's woman under the pretense of questioning an employee just to make sure she stays there today, so we can arrest her."

"Arrest her? For what?"

"Falsifying records, basically. We don't condone it." He said with a sarcastic smile.

"So you're going to show up, you, and a hit team, with a cop?"

"A couple State Troopers." He reiterated.

"You can't make false accusation of Emory Richards, but how about you all show up in Peter's office and I ask to have Richards paged and no one says anything. When he shows up and see's you guys, the Statey, and me, he's going to figure it's about this case I've been asking around about. If I tell him, before any of you say anything that he can walk away clean if he spills his guts. I don't think he'll call my bluff." Philly offered.

"Suppose he tells you something prosecutable?" Shane asked, checking his watch.

 "Unless it's rape or murder, how far can you turn your head, and what about statute of limitations." Philly wondered.

"Mmmmm, if a crime was committed against either of your patients, they were unable to testify for the limitations period. Could be that a DA might go after it.

"What if he just tells me and you never hear it? I really think he's only guilty of covering things up." Philly pleaded.

"Let me head over to Christian and I'll conference with a few people, police and our lawyers. DON'T GO ANY FURTHER THAN THE LOBBY. I'll look for you there. Don't say ANYTHING to ANYBODY!" Shane said sternly.

"Don't worry, I don't want this to blow up anymore than you do." She said shaking her head at his dramatics.

Philly grabbed the check and told Shane to leave so he wouldn't be late. She spent the drive over to the Hospital running over scenarios in her head. For some reason she thought Emory Richards might be a sympathetic character if he were cornered. He seemed compassionate to the Hansen's when Shelly had acted reluctant to give out information on "Sue Johnson". He was obviously well versed in emergency procedures and was a good surgeon which was obvious by his potential hiring in Hackensack. She doubted he would do anything stupid to jeopardize his career, which seemed to be taking off. Unless she was reading it wrong, Dr. Emory Richards was protecting Jack Spagner for the sake of his step-sisters happiness, and to cover any possible accusations that he might be an accessory to anything Spagner may have done.

At 4:15  APN Phyllis Flowers sat in the main lobby of Christian Hospital. She had been there for almost 20 minutes of fidgeting and checking her watch worrying she may have missed Shane Proctor and the group he was to be with. She had checked her cell phone once again for a missed call and to be sure she had bars enough to get service. Paranoia was getting the best of her until she saw the tops of the large hats New Jersey State Police wear. They were coming up the stairs with 4 other men in suits, one of them being Shane Proctor. As she stood to meet them Shane said something to them as a group and they stood down as Shane went over to Philly.

"I teleconferenced with 4 of the board and based on my trust in you and your judgment, we won't pursue Richards on anything unless he committed crimes himself, besides the covering for others, as long as you feel he is going to make full disclosure. His exchange of information to you precludes us from investigating that case any further. However, he should be made aware that if he is an accomplice to Shelly Peters' crime, besides turning his head to it; we can't help him, unless he wants to testify against his step-sister. Right now Emory Richards is in her office, with her expecting to sign a recommendation for an employee transfer, and he assuming it's the Hackensack job.
It's imperative that you command the situation without a word coming from us. We might LOOK to be all together, but we can't be part of what you're doing. The State Police investigator recommends you approach him directly and say "You KNOW why I'm here. Come with me and we'll talk."....... you then promptly escort him to another room. Once you both leave, the State Police will charge Ms. Peters and arrest her. We'll all leave and go before a magistrate and we'll waive bail due to the nature of the crime. The State Medical Examiners Review Panel will take charge of all of the records of the hospital and then work to restore them to their original form. All future access to the files must be cleared through the panel. We don't know how hospital administration will react to all of this. We have kept everything very quiet to assure there was no leakage or collusion. I've got smoothing and schmoozing to do once they take her out."

"So what leverage do I have?" Philly asked.

"He doesn't have the job at Hackensack yet, we haven't lifted his probation. Listen Phil, any crimes that you think may have been committed are going to be very hard to prosecute due to the time that has passed. We don't feel any way a judge would ever bother to hear the case." Shane told her knowing they were words she didn't want to hear.

"So that's why I'm questioning him and not you or the police, and why he doesn't need a lawyer present." Philly said, exhaling deeply.

"Exactly, you have no authority but the State Police Investigator saw what you've given me and he thinks if you look like part of the team he may crack. Remember, and he should be made aware of this, I can hold the key to his getting the job. I have no good reason to lift his probation. Remember, when we went to look at his record, we discovered Michelle Peters crime, and he may be involved in that. That suspicion alone is enough to keep him on probation. I know you're passionate about all of this you have going on, but evidence-wise, it's nothing because it's so stale. I know you think this Spagner character is guilty of something, but you'll just have to take heart in the fact that he is going down for the same crime as Peters as we speak." Shane said with a little smirk on his face.

"He is?" She asked.

"Yes, as soon as I give the go-ahead there is a team at Felsen to arrest him." Shane said with a wink.

"All of this for falsifying records?" Philly said thinking it was overkill for the crime committed. 

Shane leaned over and whispered to her, "Someone made insurance claims and skimmed money. We think we know who, and who didn't know. I can't say more. We don't want this out yet. Understand?"

She gave him an all-knowing nod as Shane turned and began to lead the team to the elevators. Suddenly she became a little afraid that she may be in deeper than she had bargained. It became clear to her that she was to give the impression that she was a part of The State Medical Examiners Review Panel, but never say it.

The six men and one woman entourage got off the elevator and walked directly to the office labeled ADMINISTRATION, Records, Public Relations, Information. With Hospital cut-backs these offices had been merged into one office and the 7 strode through while the receptionist protested. They opened the door and the contented smiles of Emory Richards and Michelle Peters fell quickly. No one said a word and Shane turned to Nurse Flowers, nodding.  

Philly stepped forward and said to Emory Richards, "I think you KNOW why I'm here for you today. Let's go someplace where we can talk."


Shelley Peters stood up and seemed relieved they weren't there to speak to her, or so she thought as she said, "There Emory," she said pointing to a door off her office, "the conference room should be free."

Emory Richards nervously stood and went to the door with Philly right behind. He opened the door to reveal a large conference table in an otherwise empty room, besides a small pantry with refrigerator. He turned and looked at Philly, his brow furrowed and his eyes troubled.

"I guess we can sit here?" He said, his voice almost choking.

Phyllis Flowers began her bluff and waited to see if she could hook Emory Richards.

"We've done a lot of investigating and went over a lot of the records from 9/11/2001 and thereafter and found a lot of interesting things about you and your partner on the ambulance that day. You know that the woman, Selena Hanson Johnson is fully recovered both mentally and physically, as well as her husband, the man who dropped her off to you that day. It will become a major news story, The 2 who walked away from the Towers.
How do think that is going to affect your job, your probation, and your chances of getting another job as a doctor?"

Emory's face turned ashen and he sat back hard, his eyes seeming on the verge of tearing up. He put his face into his hands and was obviously thinking, trying to think of a way out of this maze he had been thrown into.

"I may have turned my head to a lot of things that happened; let things I could have controlled get out of control, but I didn't DO anything besides stupidly keep my mouth shut." He said as tears began to stream out of his eyes, and then his face turned red and he grit his teeth.

"All to protect that ASSHOLE who lives with my sister! God DAMN him! I covered for him once when I thought she was going to die anyway, but then it snowballed and he kept throwing it in my face that I could get in as much trouble covering up in the first place."

Phyllis Flowers was proud of herself, now that she felt secure that the hook as firmly in Emory Richards. Now she had to begin to reel him in.

"Come clean and I can make sure that your probation is lifted and you get The State Medical Examiners Review Panel recommendation for the job at Hackensack General. One codicil though, if I think you're lying, or you trip over a fact I know to be true, we go back out there with the others. In other words, cooperate with me and I'll do all I can to help you." Philly said.

"I don't believe you can do that." He said suddenly doubting her.

"I can as long as it's just me and you in here. You just have to do two things to insure things will go your way. Come clean about everything that went on with Selena, and tell me that you've committed no crimes besides turning your head and covering up for others." Philly said confidently.

"How can you . . . . . ." Emory started to say but trailed off as emotions took over.

"Emory! We're in here alone! I'm not recording anything, no one else will hear. It's WHY we came in here alone. I need only say ONE thing to the Panel; that you cooperated. That should free you to have your probation revoked. So do you ease your conscience or not?" Philly said as she began to put papers back into her briefcase and stand up.

"Don't go out there yet." Emory Richards whispered as emotion and tears began to choke him up.

"I'm a good person, I really am. I got talked into covering up for something that didn't seem to make a difference at the time. We didn't think the woman would live. When Spagner called me back to the ambulance because she swallowed her tongue . . . . ."

"SLOW DOWN!! Start at the beginning, when she was first brought to you." Philly asked as she took notes.

"He was frantic to leave and she was in no condition to go any further. I'm pretty sure she was half dragged the last part of the way. Her shoes were gone and her feet were bloody. She was in and out of consciousness and I discovered a huge trauma on the back of her head. I called the hospital with her vitals and asked for an air transport, you know, helicopter, but they said all air travel was grounded and to stabilize her. I began to wonder if the guy who dropped her had caused the injury. I remembered that I had broken a rule about containing a situation, I didn't have any information on the man, nor did I know who she was. She seemed to be as stable as we could keep her and I could still see the guy limping away, probably a quarter mile up the road as it rose towards the Skyway. Moving that slow, I knew I could catch him fast so I left them, the woman and Spagner, and took a two-way in case he had a problem. I was gone for maybe 6 or 8 minutes when I got the may-day from Spagner, she was convulsing. I headed back, running as fast as I could between the stranded cars and frightened people. Somewhere along the way he shouted over the radio that she had swallowed her tongue and he had no response. He was contemplating cutting open her airway when I got there, but I dislodged her tongue right away and gave her oxygen. Her clothing was all open, Spagner said he was going to use the paddles to revive her, stupid ass. I got her warm and breathing but it sounded like she had some sort of blockage. I used an aspiration device, suction, to clear a large wad of mucus and like white grainy stuff, all I could think of was ground up dry-wall. Then her breathing seemed clearer, but she seemed in a coma, I wondered if she were brain-dead.

We didn't get the traffic untangled for another 2 or 3 hours, she was no better, no worse. Heart and blood pressure normal, but no other responses. Once we finally got going Spagner drove and I stayed with her. I knew from talking with the emergency room that they were bogged down and I was supposed to triage and assist that night anyway, part of my interning, so I started an admission form under a Jane Doe listing everything that we knew. I knew the blow to the back of her head would probably be the cause of her death, I just imagined clots waiting to shut her down once she was moved.

We wheeled her right in and a team was waiting for us and I stayed to finish admission while all hell broke loose around the gurney. A doctor I had worked with before told me to glove and gown and get ready to go to surgery, they were short. I quickly washed and did what he asked as they wheeled her into the trauma room. 

They told me to grab a catheterization kit and take care of that. As I was catheterizing her I discovered semen in her vagina. I knew that animal Spagner had done something horrible. I should have thrown him in right then, but I was afraid I might be implicated as well. I said nothing. When I caught up with him later he admitted he had raped her saying "she was too pretty to leave alone, and she was going to die anyway." She became a pet project of mine from that point and I watched her carefully, but she was out of it, mostly. It was like a wakened coma. She ate some, but her eyes rarely moved and she acknowledged almost nothing. One day I read her chart and saw she had been vomiting up her breakfast. I held my breath and did a pregnancy stick in her catheter pouch and got the positive. I flipped out on Spagner and even told my sister, who had just moved in with him. She said she didn't care since it happened before she started going out with him. I couldn't convince her it was a character flaw, how stupid is that?

Spagner wanted to transfer her to Felsen, but not for the right reasons. He wanted to abort her baby. I called his brother directly and told him that if that took place at Felsen he could count on me reporting an abortion after the 1st trimester there. He could lose the State Charter to exist as a medical facility if I did. I did agree to transfer her there for brain studies and to keep her "out of it" until the baby was delivered. I shuffled Jane Doe numbers and charts so that if you tried to trace the Jane Doe, now known to us as Sue Johnson, you couldn't find her at Felsen." Richards said after a long unloading of his conscience.

"You didn't shuffle her too well. I was able to trace her there and back to Christian and can even tell you the numbers you used to cover. That's one of the reasons we're here talking now." Philly said while not looking him in the face for fear she could not resist the urge to batter him right there with her fists.

"It was just before she went to Felsen that I exploded at Jack Spagner in the solarium of the 7th floor. I had a few months of pent up rage at the situation and every time I saw him I thought of him rutting on the lifeless body of this woman in the ambulance. In my mind that was the reason she swallowed her tongue and caused most of her problems. I knocked out a few of his teeth, broke a couple ribs, and blackened both of his eyes. I also damaged a few pieces of the furniture in the room and caused a panic among the patients and visitors there. I didn't emerge unscathed, I had a broken nose and a bruised kidney, as well as lots of other problems caused by a kick in my groin. We were suspended; just as well, I had broken 5 fingers on his face. Jack never got his job back; he wasn't much more than a go-fer anyway. He never got his full EMT." Emory said as he searched for something to drink for his dry mouth.

Emory Richards could see that Philly Flowers had a clenched jaw and the hand that wasn't writing was balled into a fist. He looked to the side and saw the refrigerator.

"There must be water in there, do you mind? He asked.

Without making eye contact she lifted her clenched hand open and waved in that direction. He went and got a bottle of water, and one for her as well.

"Get to the baby, I want to hear about the baby." She said sternly.

"She wasn't aware of much in the last few months of her pregnancy and Spagner's brother cooperated, making sure she was visited by physical therapist almost every day to keep her limber, avoid bed sores, and keep her body toned enough to deliver. She delivered a 6 pound, 4 ounce baby about 3 weeks premature. She had no problems whatsoever and 3 weeks after she had it I swapped her out with another Jane Doe at Christian. At the time she was only on Paxil and something to help her sleep. I knew if I could get her to become more aware and show no signs of violence, she would be a perfect candidate for Hampden where she could be weaned off all of the drugs she had seen so far." Emory continued until Philly prodded him again.

"The baby, the BABY!" Philly barked firmly.

"The baby came back here as a Jane Doe and she, Selena, was not aware she had given birth. She probably thought she was having a bad period or other female problem. If she was aware. . . . ." Emory continued until a fist slammed down on the table.
"BABY!"

"ALRIGHT! I'm not avoiding it, just making the pieces fit. The baby came back to Christian as a Jane Doe 2002-056, the 56th Jane Doe we had on the floor that year. I'll just never forget the number. She was only one day here before we transferred her to Catholic Charity Services of New Jersey with the hospital signing off for the mother as Matris Mortuus. I checked and the baby was adopted about a month later to an infertile couple waiting for a newborn in Upstate New York. I have their name written at home somewhere." Richards said matter-of-factly.

"Wait, no one is supposed to be able to get that information. Those records are supposed to be sealed. How did you get them?" Philly wondered, beginning to think he was making this up.

"I knew a Postulant at St. Marian-Maries Convent that used to be part of the hospital. She helped deliver adoptions as part of her step to Noviciant. She had a thing for me and wasn't sure if she had the vocation. She saved the information for me as a trade for . . . . . . my company. I would say I'm going to hell for it, but she became a real nun a few years ago, so I guess she wasn't all that impressed." He said laughing at himself while Philly shook her head in pity.

"Before they put Selena, or Sue, whatever you call her, back into our program I recommended her for Hampden because she had been here a almost a year, supposedly on chemical and drug therapy, with no results as I wrote in my brief. She fit into their program well and was there until you got her out." Emory explained to finish.

"Was the fact she was from the Towers attack left out of your notes intentionally to keep people from looking for her, to cover for the rape?" Philly asked. "If they had said they had a person from the Tower attack with no ID they would have found her a lot sooner."

"I guess it was always assumed in my early notes, I never really checked and reread any of them until the day her parents were here. If you saw the Jane Does who get checked into the female ward on 7 you would see how she fit right into the spaced out, drug infested, poor things that end up there. Also, one showing up pregnant is not an oddity either." Emory added to his mea culpa.

"Too bad there wasn't a DNA test on the baby, to link it to Jack Spagner." Philly said as she was closing her note pad.

"I have one, in the DNA bank and freezer downstairs. It's stored as part of a family baseline experiment, ya know where we all have different DNA, but you and all your siblings have the same markings down the helix to one point and no other family would have those. I kept it there to maybe sink Spagner someday, if I had to. Now is as good a time as any." Emory said with a leer.

"Are you sure?" She asked, not quite believing he could have had such access.
"I'm positive, I took it myself. I was there for the delivery. I didn't trust Spagner. If she had went C-section I was afraid he might do something stupid, since he couldn't cover that scar. I was scrubbed and in the room. He didn't see me. I was standing under the interns balcony. I saw his reflection in the other glass. When they cut her to make the delivery easier, he pounded his fists on the glass and the attending physician looked up and shook his head at him. There was something going on between them, but the doctor did the right thing." Emory recalled.

"That scar was the first clue I got. I was suspicious before, but when I heard of that scar I did a little detective work." Philly said as she packed up her things.

"So, I'm free to go and finish up with them in Shelley's office?" Emory said as he stood, a man relieved.

"There's no one out there, they were here to arrest your step-sister for falsifying records, altering records, and a laundry list of other little bookkeeping infractions." She told him.

"SHIT! They should have arrested Spagner! HE'S the one who coerced her, had her do that stuff!" Richards said, surprised at the arrest.

"Don't worry, they got him too!" She told him smiling.

"So why was I there, and you?" He wondered.

"We, both of us, just happened to be in the room. They never said a word to you, only I spoke. But, I can tell them that you were forthcoming and honest, and contrite as well. I think you'll be going to the position at Hackensack. Unless they throw you in that mess." Philly said.

"No, they can't. I had nothing to do with that." Emory Richards said, obviously relieved.

"I hope you're right. Now, I'm not leaving this hospital, and you won't leave my sight until I get that DNA." She said determinedly. 

"Still don't trust me?"

"I know a woman who lost nine years of her life because you couldn't be trusted to live up to the oath of a doctor. No matter what, you could have spoken up sooner." She said snottily to show her resolve.

They opened the door to the connecting office of Michelle Peters expecting to find an empty office, and instead they found Brian DelAire, the CEO of the Hospital, behind the desk of Shelly Peters with Shane Proctor leaning over his shoulder showing him the infractions Ms Peters and Jack Spagner were being charged with.

"Emory, were you aware of the hanky-panky going on here, are you involved in all of this too?" DelAire asked almost in an accusatory tone.

Shane looked at Philly who gave him an approving eye-blink and nod.

"Uhh . . . NO Brian, Emory is clean. He happened to be here in the office to interview for a job, with Michelle providing details when we came in. 

"I heard you might be leaving us. ER surgeons with your experience are not easy to come by. I hope you still plan to practice and not just triage and assign as an ER Chief." DelAire said keeping half his attention to the explanation of the crime and Richards leaving.

"Yes Sir, I will always practice, I will be VERY hands on, in my greens more than a tie, for sure." Emory said as he walked out the door with Philly.

"What's going to happen to Shelley?" Emory asked, suddenly worried about his step sister.

"Well, she'll obviously, probably, lose her job unless she throws Spagner under the bus in some sort of deal. It's not the sort of thing that would get her any jail time, but probation for sure as long as she has a clean record. I'm guessing the hospital will not want her back in a position where she has as much control, if she stays. The State will waive bail, I do know that." She told him as they got to the south wing elevator and Emory pushed the button to go down.

Once the elevator arrived they got on and Emory used a key to activate 2 grayed out floors, RECORDS, and MORGUE. He pressed RECORDS and they went down 3 floors with the doors opening to a desk with an admission door to its right. Behind the desk sat an older man, maybe 60 or 65 with T. Travis on his badge, who recognized Emory Richards right away.

"Hey Doc, I heard you guys had Visitors. Nothings left here that wasn't signed out. What do you need?" He asked.

"DNA Tink. We have to see the DNA vault. Um, Tinker this is Phyllis Flowers."
Richards said as Tinker nodded to Philly and got up to go to the door at the right.

"We'll need both our keys to get in there and you'll both need gloves if you plan on handling anything." Tinker Travis said as he held the door for them and flipped a switch lighting an entry to a large steel and glass door.

Tinker put in his key and Doctor Richards added his, and they opened the door. Inside looked like a miniature filing cabinet with about 30 drawers. Each drawer was triple locked except for one off to the side marked STUDIES, NON CLASSIFIED.
"We just need the non-classified stuff Tink. They just want to see how we handle them, and she's already seen the security." Emory said, dismissing Tinker.

"These are all fixed samples taken with buccal swabs, put onto a chemically treated card and they will last virtually forever as long as they are kept in a dry place, 60-75 degrees." Richards began to explain to her.

"Oh yes, I take buccal swabs all of the time, I may even have some kits in my briefcase. I'm familiar on how to handle them." Philly said nodding.

"All of the others in the triple locked drawers are blood samples kept frozen. A simple drop of blood from the sample can be taken 100's of times for study and make perfect DNA samples for study. I have 2 cards of Baby Jane Doe 2001-191 and each has an alias on them that only I know, just to make sure no prying eyes found them and wanted to destroy them. One is Cher Ubeam, and the other is Sarah Phim." Emory told Philly as Tinker got out of ear-shot.

"Oh, angels cherubim and seraphim! Clever, am I going to be able to take one?"
Philly asked.

"Yes, there is no control on these. If things get real interesting or real sticky, I DO have a blood sample, but the swab will prove positive heredity." Emory said as he flipped through the glassine envelopes and pulled one.

"Put this in your briefcase and have it tested as soon as you can. I don't think it can go stale very fast, but to be sure . . . . ." Emory said as he slipped it to her.

"What name is the blood sample under?" Philly asked as she took out her notes.

"Ummm . . . for me to know, for MY protection. Please understand." Emory said as Philly nodded in understanding.

"Wait, you'll need one more card, the one for Jack Spagner." Richards said as Philly appeared to be closing up her briefcase again.

"No, the police will get one from him today; it'll be part of the no-bail agreement. As much as you've cooperated today, I only have your word that this is the baby's DNA, but Spagner's I can be sure of, if they get it today." Philly said regretting that she had to intimate that she didn't fully trust him yet.

"Fair enough, I can understand that." He said as he closed the drawer and she clicked the locks on her briefcase.

"Nothing in, nothing out, Doc?" Tinker said as he stood and relocked the vault door with Dr. Richards.

"Just a look-see, Tink. Thanks for your help." Emory said as he walked past and Philly nodded thanks to him as well.

"He's a trusting soul." Philly said under her breath, as the elevator came.

"When they need blood DNA they need 3 keys and one of them is usually accompanied by a court order or law enforcement, so it's a big deal. 99 percent of the swab cards are part of experiments and tests for interns and like that. The family tree swabs are something I was part of from the start so I have pretty much free access to them. There's no real ID to them, we just look at them characteristically. Even to ADD blood DNA you need 3 keys and a numbered sign in form and no one even turns their head once a drawer is open, plus it's all videotaped."  He said as the elevator zoomed back up.

"Interesting. Were we taped today?" She wondered.

"No, Tinker has to hit a switch for it and he never did. He usually doesn't bother unless it's someone besides me or they are getting blood. It does capture 1 second every minute anyway, so there is no cheating." Emory said as they arrived back on the admin floor.

"So, am I free to go about my business?" He asked hopefully.

"Yes, just as much as ever. I think you can expect to see your probation lifted and for the review panel to recommend you for the Hackensack job. Just keep in mind that I do not work for The State Medical Examiners Review Panel, the New Jersey State Police, or any other governing body of law for medical practice." She reiterated before the two parted.

At this point in the day she just wanted to get home and relax. It had been a long and stressful, but a fruitful day as far as gathering information. She turned around and pushed the elevator button to go down. It opened almost immediately and as she stepped on she was surprised to see Shane Proctor alone in the car.

"Done for the day?" She asked.

"Yes, finally! There's a place across the way, The Recovery Room, would you care to go for a drink?" He queried.

"As nice as that sounds, I can't. You and me and alcohol don't mix well." Philly said rather brusquely. 

"I didn't MEAN it THAT way, Philly. Just a drink to take the edge off and catch up." Shane insisted.

"Whatever Shane, one of us has to have a little willpower and I'm afraid it's not me. With you, I'm easy and I love my husband and my marriage too much to let it happen again. We can only work together, not socialize. I'm sorry." Philly said even though she felt bad for treating him that way.

"Shane! I didn't mean to shoot you down so hard. Actually, tomorrow I have to fly to upstate New York with someone from Edison M.S.; I'm going to represent Hampden in a remarkable news conference. Watch the news for me and you'll see an incredible story."  She added as she peeled off and headed to the parking lot to get her car and drive home. 

Chapter 11

Selena and Joe had all the legal papers they would need to begin to recreate the life they once had and were on their way home. Their final stop at Edison put things in perspective for Joe and for the first time since he came around from his DFS as the real Joe Johnson, he looked at Edison as a place for healing, instead of a prison. It was the perfect catharsis for the re-beginning. He knew, as well as Selena, that the next few weeks would be a hectic trial of explanation after explanation to those who would somehow miss the story on TV, radio, newspaper and internet. Edison Mental Studies Clinic, Hampden Behavioral Health, Wall Street Global Group, the States of New York and New Jersey, The Freedom Tower and 911 Memorial Commission, and The PolyTech Institute were all putting out press releases to announce the recovery of 2 lives from the 911 attacks, how they came about and the circumstance of the ordeal. The two recovered victims would hold a press conference the following morning at 11 a.m. from their home. Only local affiliate anchors of the 4 major networks would be invited as well one local and one New York City newspaper would be invited. All other requests for interviews and appearances would not be entertained with a plea for their privacy and the chance to get on with their lives. Both Edison Behavioral and Hampden reps would be on hand to answer and explain the medical aspects of their individual situations and what one had to do with the recovery of the other.

The press releases would all be identical except for the relationship that either, Joe, Selena or both of them had with the issuing party. It was meant to cut down on a lot of the questions of who and how it was possible. Selena and Joe were not excited about the presser, but just wanted to get it out of the way and hope that any and all of their friends and associates would hear or see it and let them move on. JoAnne Culver from Edison and Phyllis Flowers would represent Hampden and would answer ALL the medical questions.

They were home for only a few minutes when they switched on the 11 o'clock news when the story was broke to the networks and over the internet.

"You may remember a human interest story from 4 or 5 weeks ago about a man being treated and studied with DFS. Those said to suffer with DFS sometime end up with total memory loss of their past and wake each day as a different personality, a personality so complex that doctors feel that it may be that of, or as, a significant person in the persons past life. One of those patients, however, caused quite a stir because he woke one day as Joseph Johnson, a Wall Street investor thought lost in the attack, and has kept the same unwavering personality and he finally convinced doctors that he survived the 911 attack in the first tower hit and wandered away with his wife. His father-in-law recognized him from the report and used information he provided to find the man's wife and tonight they begin to put their lives back together after being missing for 9 years."

"And so it begins......" Joe said as he looked up from the TV at Selena and her parents.

"Just get yourselves through tomorrow and I think the hard part is over. I know you both like being private people, but this is a hell of a story. You're considered back from the dead. Unfortunately people who got calls from their loved ones who said they were OK that day, and then never came home, will use this to drive clinics like Edison and Hampden crazy hoping to find people. You two will just have to bite your tongues and be patient tomorrow and let the experts handle the medical questions." Scott Hansen advised them.

"It's going to be an early day tomorrow and I know you want to pore over things here, but let's just get to bed, get up refreshed and get it over with. JoAnne and Phyllis fly in at 7:30 and have a service to get them here. We'll all have breakfast together and talk to be ready for the day. Lights out in 10 minutes!" Betty said with a smile, hoping she made an impression on her daughter and Joe.

After a nervous first night home, with Selena's Mom and Dad staying as well, they woke to the sound of trucks outside setting up for feeds to networks.  After showers and a little puttering around by Selena and Joe a knock came from the front door amid the hubbub in the driveway. The hired security man had JoAnne Culver and Philly Flowers with him to let in. Still, Betty Hanson managed to fill Joe's house with the smell of breakfast like only she could fix. Eggs, bacon, homemade biscuits, and plenty of coffee. The homey scents seemed to calm a lot of nerves and steel Selena and Joe's will to get it all over with.  
While Betty was preparing the breakfast Scott had supervised the transformation of the front of the garage into a studio, making sure TV people kept their trucks and equipment off the grass and they didn't infringe on their privacy. 

At 10 o'clock Joe, Selena, along with The Hansons, JoAnne Culver and Phyllis Flowers came out of the elevator to a loud round of applause from the gathered news people and a few hundred local gawkers in the driveway and adjoining property. Scott and Betty Hanson, Selena and Joe sat at a table, while JoAnne and Philly stood at podiums that flanked the table. Philly and JoAnne read from prepared statements that fully explained the circumstances and how the discovery and the reunion of all parties came about.

When the floor was opened for questions many just covered things already laid out in previous statements causing Joe to get short and curt with his answers. Finally Scott, who was directing the questioners, saw the one radio reporter from the local 50,000 watt station, and he pointed at him.

"How good does it feel to be back home?" He asked.

For the first time Joe smiled and hugged Selena at the same time.

"No words can describe what I feel to know that I had lost my wife and got her back and that her parents somehow never gave in to the realities of us being gone. Virtually, nothing has changed since the last day I remember being here. Nine years is a long time and . . . . . ." He was saying as he began to choke up with emotion.

Selena threw her arms around Joe's neck as she half stood and kissed him saying into the microphone, "Nine years is a long time, and we really just want to get back to our lives and maybe make up for the nine years if people would just leave us alone and let us live the way we always did! Yes, it's a fascinating story, but there's nothing more to tell. You ask us questions about being inside that building before it fell, . . . it was horrifying and having to relive that is not a pleasant experience."

Of the hands raised with questions among the 6 media members all went down except for that of the lone newspaper reporter from New York City.

Scott pointed to him and he asked, "Selena, are you going to be doing financial blurbs with Wall Street Global again? We who write about all that boring stuff found that you made it much more pleasant and easier to understand."

Chuckles came from the crowd as well as smiles from all of those at the podium. The question definitely broke the mood and made everyone stop and think for a moment.

"Yes, well I hope to someday get back there, if they want me." She said with a broad smile.

Anyone else who had a question was embarrassed to ask at that point and with no hands up.  Scott looked to everyone and nodded and they all stood, and the 6 marched off to the elevator, thus ending the press conference.

Inside Philly had a few moments to be with Joe and told him of the developments, trying to skirt the issue of a rape taking place. But Joe assumed the obvious and confronted Philly directly.

"We are working on the premise that somewhere along the line she was raped and she has no knowledge or recollection, am I right?" He asked.

"It looks that way Joe, but you can't say a word yet, to her or anyone." She forcefully answered.

"I would like to delve into her subconscious a little to see if she has any memory of it, because if she is blocking it, we could have problems later. Understand?" Philly asked as their confidential moment was about to end as Selena drew near.                      

"Why do I have this feeling that you're talking about me like I'm still in a mental hospital?" Selena said as she approached.
"You were NOT in a mental hospital and I was just telling Joe what I will tell you right now. I would like to have one more session with you, possibly under hypnosis or a drug relaxed state. I think it can accelerate your adaptation back to where you could return normalcy. I hear you seem distant at times and that's common for being rushed back into society. You might have issues unresolved." Philly tried to explain without showing her real hand.

"What kind of issues? Give me an example." She asked as if she might not resist the session if an issued sounded reasonable.

"In that type of social setting you sometimes develop a trust or a fondness that might be considered inappropriate, not in reality, but in your mind. Remember, your devotion to Joe was at times skewed by mistrust that he may have carried on his life while leaving you behind. You knew in your heart it couldn't be true, but you also questioned mortality and whether you were of this world." Philly tried to explain without fully lying about all of her intentions.

"You mean I may have had a boyfriend in the klink and I'm afraid to admit it to Joe?"  She asked.

"You word it so colorfully." Philly said with a smile, "Wouldn't it have been natural to have a trust in someone who may have made you feel comfortable? Someone who you felt was in the same predicament as you perceived it?"

"So I may have fallen in love and had sex?" She asked in wonderment.

"Well, "love" has so many meanings, but sex? No, there is no way anyone in Hampden would be allowed or the opportunity allowed having that sort of relationship. Utter impossibility with the cameras and amount of staff." Philly spoke without reserve.

"How about staff? Could I have had sex with staff?" Selena asked as if she had the inkling.

"It would have taken collusion and even still, no space is untouched by the eye." Philly spoke assuredly.

"OK, I'll do the session, but it's the last one. If that's what I have to do to have Joe trust me." Selena said.

"SELENA! I never questioned anything of the sort! My love for you knows no bounds and is only stronger than it was on 9-11." Joe said perturbed she would make such a statement.

"Joe there are times you look at me like you don't know who I am." Selena said looking directly into Joe's eyes.

"THAT'S the paranoia we're trying to discover here Selena." Philly said. "You think that, but Joe doesn't feel that."

Joe hugged Selena tightly and whispered in her ear, "Thinking I don't trust you, I should give you a good spanking for that one!"

"Well, under the right circumstances." She whispered back as she broke the hug and gave Joe a coy smile.

"Philly you set it up. I'm going to go help my Mom; she's worried about lunch already." Selena said as she kissed Joe and then touched Philly's arm.

"Where and when?" Joe asked happy that Selena was resolved to cooperate.

"I'd like to do it here, where she's comfortable, but with no one around." Philly said.

"Can you really hypnotize her?" Joe wondered.

"Hypnotism is mostly a myth, but she and I are close enough that I can get her to totally relax and under the effect of certain drugs she may open up doors. It will be as if she is a little stoned, like the effect of a joint or two. People have seen enough of entertainer style hypnosis that they think it really works. I can get her close to that state and then the cocktail injection I'll give her will just totally relax her and maybe open a door she's afraid to open. Then again, she may not have any recollection. I won't talk her into it, just talk her through what we KNOW happened and she if she expounds at all. Joe, this isn't a totally approved method, giving her this drug cocktail. I've had success with it and I promise you, it can't harm her. I will monitor her all the time. Just keep this between the 3 of us. Are you with me, or would you rather not?" Philly asked with a little trepidation.

"What's not "totally approved" about it?" He wondered.

"Individually the drugs are OK, approved and well within my realm of prescribing. Mixing them in a cocktail, and in this case, that's only an expression, it will be two separate injections, isn't forbidden, nor is it recommended. The reason it's not "approved" is that it was experimented with by young fools in full doses in actual cocktails combining the two in one injection and it caused panic attacks, and heart attacks in some instead of the sexual effect they thought it might induce." Philly explained.

WRITERS NOTE:
In my original draft I noted (by name) the drugs besides sodium pentothal that made up this designer sex experimenters cocktail. The clinicians who schooled me on some of the situations I use in the story asked me to not name them specifically, for obvious reasons. When combined with "relaxation therapy" (the name both of my references prefer to call "hypnotism") and a many times reduced "cocktail", it can induce the subject to open heretofore closed doors in the mind quite possibly much like when a man or woman with broken down inhibitions does things sexually that are out of their realm. I hope I've explained this to make sense.

"Can you tell me she's going to be totally safe?" Joe asked flat out.
"Yes, she's had Xanax with a sleeping agent as a total relaxant before and shook it off easily. This is stronger than that, but easier on the system. I won't administer it unless I am sure she is in the state I want her in. Fair enough?" She asked as she made her point and deal at once.

"I trust you totally, it's just the "only 3 of us" proposition that makes me think you're doing something, . . . . I don't know, . . . . . illegal." Joe said with a tinge of doubt.

Philly took her business card from her brief case and handed it to him.

"Call my practice and tell them what we are doing and if they approve of its use." She challenged.

"Can I ask Dr. Culver?"

"Here's the thing Joe, I'm here as a representative of Hampden, but still a contractor for them. They frown on using drugs like this. When and if Edison sends a patient to Hampden they expect it to be unwritten that drugs will not be used unless it is an extreme case. She has every right to tell anyone that although Hampden practices a no or low drug policy, an on-site practitioner is taking them off-site to get around the policy. You know that is not the case here, I know it is not the case. But, that is why I would prefer she not know." Philly explained.

"Fair enough. It's only because I know that you think so much of Selena and have been her friend and seen her through so much of her troubles that I will grant you a pass on this. If you get her to talk about that day and she can go no further than me leaving the ambulance, you won't proceed, correct?" He asked hoping she would agree to the stipulation.

"Of course. I'll be able to tell if she's "knocking" at a door or not and if there's no indication, we stop. You have my word." She assured him as Dr. Culver came into the room.

"Nurse Flowers, I'm going to try and catch the 5:05 train back to the city. My husband works near Penn and he's going to meet me. Is that OK with you? You're welcome to ride back into Jersey with us." She asked and offered.

"Thanks for the offer, but I think I'll stay tonight and make sure Selena is OK with her changes and go back tomorrow." She said glad to have an opportunity to get the session with Selena done as the situation quieted down in the area.

Joe had paid for additional security around the property to keep both gawkers and well-wishers away, but at the time it didn't really seem necessary as it seemed their wishes were being respected. The news conference and statements to the media really answered most questions about what happened and, at least in their upstate New York home, their privacy was being respected.

They had offered Philly Flowers a guest bedroom rather than ferry herself to a hotel. Initially she turned it down, but later in the day took them up on the offer if only to have Selena more relaxed for her session the next day. After The Hanson's had left following dinner the 3 of them sat and talked, even sipping a little ice wine before bed.

Once they retired Selena confronted Joe as they lay ready to fall asleep. "The two of you are fishing for something that happened that day, I can just tell. Joe, you know I'm not hiding anything, right?"

"Selena! Never in my wildest dreams do I think you are intentionally hiding anything. I totally love and trust you with every speck of my being, my soul, my existence. The trauma of what happened cost me 9 years of my life, what is to say you didn't lose a little time yourself. This is just a little preventative therapy to uncover things that may show up later. I think it is nothing, and apparently you do as well. Let's just get some sleep." Joe said moving over her to kiss her deeply.

"Joe, I never thought I would say this, but, not tonight. I'm really tired and I'm wearing a tampon. I feel like I'm going to have my first regular period in a long time after being so thrown off schedule for so long. I was going 2 and 3 months without anything more than spotting. Let's let this run its course. After these couple days I'll be peppy enough to want a taste of you, don't worry." She said with a loving smile as she rolled to let him spoon and fall asleep.

Philly Flowers awoke from her sleep missing her husband and smell of coffee he usually set up on auto-brew for her. She quickly showered and dressed and made her way to Joe Johnson's kitchen just as she heard their own coffee brewer switch on automatically. As she filled her lungs with the stimulating aroma of the fresh brew she heard a door open and shut just before Joe Johnson appeared in the room.

"The best part of waking up? . . .as the commercial says." He said as he turned on some lights and opened the windows looking into the yard to smell the fresh cool morning air.

"Yes, it is. Is Selena still sleeping?"

"No she's just finishing in the shower. She'll be right out. What time do you want to do your procedure?"

"Hmmm, . . . it's 8:15 now, if we finish breakfast by 10, I would say noon or so. She said she liked to treadmill or walk afterwards. If I give her a couple pills to take during her cool down, that will relax her. With the overcast fall day and the high casement windows in her bedroom, that might be the best spot to do it. I have everything I need; I just have a little cold pack to put in the freezer." She said looking at her watch and then staring off into space as her mind worked.

"Cold pack? Is that for the beer?" Joe chuckled.

""Not exactly." She chuckled, "It's only an inch and a half around, and I'll put it on her thigh or upper arm. If I decide to inject her it will be where the pack covers so the stick of the needle doesn't break the mood. Something I got from a therapist I trained with."

As the noon hour rolled around Selena was in a mellow mood having been issued a small dose of an opiate derivative to achieve just that. She may not have totally realized she had been "drugged" yet as she still felt very cogent, but Philly saw the signs.

"Let's start our session Selena," Philly said. "We can go into the bedroom where you can be comfortable and talk, OK?"

"Sure, just me and you, like back in Hampden, huh?" She answered not realizing she had slurred a word or two.

"Yes, you know the drill, I talk, and you give me your ideas. But now, you actually speak in our session. Remember the good that came from the last session where you broke down your wall and we got you home because of it?" She asked as they walked to the bedroom and Joe quietly slid outside where he planned to do some yard work.

Once she was comfortable Nurse Flowers began asking questions about being home, being with Joe, seeing her parents, all of the positives since she broke down the wall. Selena was relaxed as she lay and she smiled as she talked about getting her life back. She expounded on Wall Street Global and getting her mind going again and then even talked about making love with Joe, starting to give intimate details. It was then Philly realized that Selena was ready to start to journey back, as she started to talk about things she normally wouldn't share.


"So, you're happy with your marriage and how it's all worked out, now that you're home?" Philly asked.

"Oh God, yes. Joe is such a stabilizing factor for me. He completes my world. Just last night we talked about having a real wedding, one before God and all of our friends. He knows how happy that would make me. But, first I'd love to go back to Jamaica, which was where we really bonded our lives to each others. Joe called it our retirement preview; we could live that happy and carefree every day. But, I had to pay my dues." Selena expounded quietly in a soft voice.

"Pay your dues?" she asked.

"Finish my commitment to Wall Street Global and make my contribution to my craft."

"Your craft?"

"I know that market inside and out. I'm smart as hell you know. Sometimes I even fucking surprise myself. Things just come together for me, and when I get in that room with my partners, it's magic, just like fucking sex. I can't wait to get back there and make it happen, except I'll miss Charlie and Will, especially Charlie. He used to think of me as his daughter. None of them thought of me sexually, you know, well except Slim, he'd fuck a snake if he could hold it down. I remember I couldn't wait to tell them, confidentially, of course, that I was legally married. I had to because of the partnership, but they would have been so tickled. Then the best day of my life turned into the worst day of my life." Selena continued rambling on but keeping the subject path aimed where Philly wanted it to go.

Selena was in a semi-hypnotic-like state. She was sleepy, but loose tongued and comfortable with Philly. She knew, almost psychosomatically, that Philly was comfort and she had no reason to block any thoughts.

"What made it the best day of your life, Selena?" Philly asked as she popped the cap from one of her syringes and popped the short needle into Selena's thigh just where the cold pack sat.

The question threw Selena into deep thought, but before she could answer Philly wanted to distract her once again to apply the second injection.

" . . . And what made it the worst day, both best and worst all rolled into one?" She asked as she dropped the first syringe on the bed and used her teeth to pull the cap from the second, spitting the cap to the floor, and stabbing the second short needle near the first site.

"The best was we just signed and transferred the money for our homes around the world, a whole package of retirement places. We shook hands and then the building shuddered and the world came apart." She said tears beginning to run from her eyes.

"How did you get out?"

Everyone was rushing the stairs, but right away Joe had troubles with his knees and we had to lag a bit, but one lady stayed with us to help. We got Joe between us and we went down the steps in unison trying to take weight off his legs. Then all hell broke loose, something, maybe even a person, fell down the stairwell and it knocked Joe over some people to the next landing. He was in real pain and real trouble and most people were rushing out and almost walking over him. This other woman and I got him to his feet and into the corner where we could get our bearings. As soon as a wave of people passed we had a break and we carried Joe, most of his weight on our shoulders for what seemed forever. At one point I realized he was totally limp, he had passed out. At the next landing we got to the corner, I was afraid he was dead, but this woman started pinching his face and he came around. I shouted that we had to get out and we were on our way, with Joe yelping at each step, but insisting to keep going. Then he gave up and wanted us to leave him. I was so fucking mad at him then. I shouted at him "Joe Johnson doesn't quit!". He saw the fire in my eyes and he got up and then next thing we knew there was a bridge over an atrium type of thing and we started across it and it vibrated heavily and then some guys in maintenance type uniforms were motioning people through a door where we saw outside light. Most continued over the atrium bridge, but I saw the light and just Joe and I went out.  I had to breath real air.  Outside was . . . . . ." She started and then stopped trying to hold back from out and out bawling.
"What was outside Selena?"

"There was a landing and steps going down to the street, like a loading area, probably the 3rd or 4th floor in the front, but street level back there. I looked around and saw smashed people and before I could scream another fell and it's hand or foot, or shoe, maybe brushed by my side and hit the landing right in front of me, a body just smashed like meat falling on the floor. I puked and fell into it, the body, and Joe picked me up, and then suddenly there was glass everywhere. A sheet of it fell from the sky and must have just missed us. Joe picked me up to carry me down the stairs, Halfway down I remember falling, but that's it. 
Then Joe and another man were dragging me, at first I thought, back into the building, but then I realized we were in a tunnel. There was a blur as to what happened, my head ached so much, I remember a lot of shouting at me and suddenly I was lying down and an oxygen mask over my face, it was so refreshing, but then I realized Joe wasn't there.
I panicked and tried to get up and realized I was in a truck, or ambulance and Joe was limping away. They strapped me down so I couldn't get up and when they closed the back door so I couldn't see Joe the pain in the back of my head seemed to explode. I guess I passed out from the pain." Selena said seeming to finish.

"Is that all you can recall? Do you remember waking up in the hos . . . . ." Philly started to ask when Selena blurted out loudly.

"HE WAS FUCKING ME, THAT BASTARD WAS RAPING ME!! I was strapped down to that bed and he had tied my legs and he was on me. I thought I was dreaming of Joe and then this animal was fucking me with a mask pushed over my face. I tried to scream, I tried to breathe and then I died, I felt myself slip away, but I didn't care, I was dirty and Joe wouldn't have me anymore. Breathe stopped, there was shouting and I could do nothing, I was tied down . . . and I died. . . . . . I couldn't breathe and I died." She said finishing softly and seemed to fade away.

"Selena, you didn't die! You're here now!"

"I know because you saved me, but as far as Joe is concerned, I may as well be dead. I'm dirty, having another man in me."

"Selena, you were raped, you had no choice!"

"But I'm a soiled woman now, I feel so dirty. Joe will never understand." She said starting to get a weepy tone in her voice.

"Selena, Joe's love for you is unconditional, and you know that. When you wake up you'll remember the rape and tell Joe, and I promise you, he'll understand." Philly said in an even tone so as not to disturb the "sleep" Selena was apparently in now.

"How can he understand?"

"He already knows about it, and has since you were back with him. He's needed you to face it."

"He won't think any different of me?"

"Of course not. Joe loves you, heart and soul, mind and spirit. If you gained a hundred pounds and grew a wart on your nose, what he loved most about you wouldn't change."

Selena's dark sullen demeanor suddenly changed and a smile appeared at the corners of her mouth. "Are you sure? Did he really say that?"

"Selena my dear friend, I needed only spend a few minutes with each of you to see that your love is of the ages. He has so many things to do and say to further prove his love, his unconditional love. But you have to face up to everything and let it all out, no more hiding. OK?"

Selena nodded a bit, still apparently out of total touch with reality.

Then Philly asked her something to see if she was aware that she had given birth.

"Once you face all your problems and it all comes out in the open, you and Joe can finally have your children."

"Ohhh, babies. I never saw my baby." Selena said.

"You have a baby?" Philly asked softly.

"Yes, I . . . . I think so. The white room, hands pressing on me, feeling so big, and then the relief of passing something out of me, but . ."

"But what?"

"Where? I just don't know. I remember dreaming with that funny taste in my mouth. Feeling so sick . . it must have been dreams. (long pause while Philly waited to see if she remembered more)  . . . .I'm getting so scared now!" Selena said as she began to pull her legs up to her chest, like a fetal position.

Philly knew it was time to end the session. She took the cover from her last syringe and gave her a small amount of Xanax to deepen her sleep and let her mind process what they talked about. She would give her 2 hours before she tried to wake her and be with her as she broke through the cobwebs. From her experience with these sessions Selena would react positively to all she faced up to. She had been forthright and positive about everything, but not sure if she had the baby. The funny taste she remembered was the sedative they kept her under at Felsen that kept her out of the loop, the dreams were from her body reacting and changing with the pregnancy. 

Philly marveled at the baby's existence at all.  
Had it not been a catholic hospital they may have aborted the baby.
 
Had Emory Richards not found out about the pregnancy or Spagner's plans to bring Selena to Felsen for an abortion long after the 1st trimester, there wouldn't be a baby.

Did it show ill effects of the odd pregnancy she had been through? 

Philly took her little voice recorder and saved the session for transcription. She turned the little heartbeat and blood/oxygen monitor that was on Selena's finger and turned the monitor toward the small desk in the corner where she would sit and wait for Selena to come around. She made notes under the small light that provided the dull mood of the room amid the overcast ambiance from outside.

Selena had been through so much and if she faced these final demons she might just end up not only unscathed, but stronger from the effects. Philly patted herself on the back for sticking with her, always believing that she was just that close to beating her demons, destroying her barriers. Had she known about the rape, the being almost totally sedated for as much as 150 days, and giving birth, she may not have thought there was much chance of saving her from her inner demons.

Chapter 12

Philly Flowers gently stroked Selena's cheek just after 3:30 to see if there were response yet and though she stirred a bit she didn't appear ready to wake up. She had heard Joe come back in the house, but let him wait until she called him. She wanted Selena to wake as naturally as possible. At 4 o'clock she tried once again to stroke her cheek and she stirred, turning her face away from the stroking and shifting her feet. She stroked the other cheek and the inside of her arm above the elbow.

"Selena, Selena? Are we waking up?" Philly asked.

 She made a violent move to push away the hand stroking her arm and then startled awake.

"Ohh, it's you! I'm sorry I fell asleep. We were talking and I dozed off before you got going." She said as she stretched her arms and legs and began to sit up.

"No, stay down for a minute; let the blood circulate before you sit up too soon." Philly told her while grasping her upper arm and thwarting her.
 Selena looked up at her and stretched again and then looked off into the space behind Philly.

"Oh, Ohhhhhh. Uh-oh, I found more secrets. What's Joe going to say? I wasn't hiding them . . .   really!" She started to say as she began to cry.

"Selena, Selena, calm down! You didn't say anything that we, Joe nor I, didn't know. It was you who had to remember it." She told her.

"He raped me! Joe knows it was rape, right?"

"Of course. You fought so hard that you swallowed your tongue, and probably came close to dying. Your passing out from lack of oxygen probably saved you. If you fought any harder you may have asphyxiated yourself. When he couldn't dislodge it he was on your chest and that probably got your heart going again, but caused you to struggle against your tongue again. That was when the second ambulance attendant came back to answer the rapist panic call. He saved you that day." She told her calmly as she put the pieces back together.

"His name was Richard, I remember I saw that and he came to see me in the other hospital too. Can we bring Joe in so we can all talk now?" Philly asked her.

"Slow down a little, OK? His name was Emory Richards. As much good as he did for you, don't forget that he knew what happened and hid it and protected the other fellow." Philly cautioned her.
 
Suddenly Selena got a terrified look of panic on her face and looked to Philly wide-eyed and mouth agape.

"I had a baby, didn't I?" She said before she broke out into tears falling face forward onto the bed. "Oh my God, oh My God!! OUR DREAMS!! OUR DREAMS ARE GONE!!" She cried out as she cried, near uncontrollably.

Philly got up and went to the door and called for Joe who was already coming after hearing her cry.

"She's just realized, on her own, that she had the baby and thinks it's the deal breaker for you two. Help her out." Philly said as Joe passed her.

"JOE, JOE!! WHILE I WAS CRAZY I HAD THAT SON OF A BITCH'S BABY, THEY RUINED ME, RUINED US FOREVER!" She screamed through her tears.

"No, no, no, that isn't the case at all." Joe said as he knelt on the bed and bent to cuddle her and whisper in her ear.

"I've suspected about the baby for a few days and Philly did some snooping and said the right words for you to remember. It doesn't make a difference to you or to me. We can still have our babies." Joe said evenly to calm her demeanor.

"How did you know?" She said as her tears still dripped off her face.

Joe looked at Philly with an embarrassed look and she turned and walked to the desk where her briefcase was.

"A few days ago when we were making love and you flipped over to your knees and your ass was all spread out I saw an episiotomy scar, where they cut you to make delivery easier. I've been around the block a few times and I know that scar. Selena, you have a child somewhere and apparently the guy who raped you is the father. They have the babies DNA and it should prove that. It may be a way to press charges against the guy." Joe told her, holding both her hands, knowing what effect it might have on her.

 However, she didn't freak out like he thought she might.

"So, that child is 8, almost 9 years old. I would never try to claim it; it would cause so much pain for the parents and emotional problems for the child. That kid might not even know it was adopted, . . . assuming it was." Selena said quietly, almost regrettably.

"It, . . . it WAS adopted Selena, and I respect you for not wanting to make any waves. I think it's very selfish when you see that happen." Philly said calmly taking a lead from Joe.

"It was a girl, honey. Probably a pretty little girl as well." Joe said stroking her hair.

"Would it be too much to ask to see her? You know, just a picture, or maybe she plays soccer or tee ball we could go to a game." Selena said reflectively.

"Honey, we don't know where she is or anything. Let's see what the DNA tests reveal
and then decide how we might want to handle all of this." Joe said unaware that Emory Richards knew.

Selena knelt up fully and went knee to knee with Joe on the bed, looking at him with pouty, sad eyes and taking his hands in hers.

"So, you don't think of me as used up or different after all of this? Am I still your special girl?"

"Essy, my sweet little angel," He said in a low voice just for her, "You are still the smartest, most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on. What happened that day and in the 9 years since has been essentially erased from our lives and we have the chance to pick up and carry on as we were. Once we get this stuff, the rape and the paternity all taken care of, we can rejoin the world as we were. Our old friends have been looking for us, your parents fully support us, you still have your seat at Wall Street Global; it's all waiting for us. Now I admit that it is a bit easier for me, I didn't lose the years you did, nor did I have the fight you did. In my mind it's barely a month since it all happened, even though the weight of the time passed has overwhelmed me from time to time. But, for you and I, I love you more and more each minute. I still want you each time I see you. Nothing has changed." Joe said to her taking her hand and putting it on his heart and he doing the same to her.

Though still smiling, tears streamed down her face, resisting the urge to hug and kiss him. She just wanted to see him in this tender moment and know that all that happened hadn't changed a thing.

"Will you grant me a wish?" She asked.

"If it's possible at all, I'll do anything for you."

"Let's have all of this just go away. If our life together can start over right here, right now, . . . . . . I don't care to pursue any of this any further. I care that I was violated, I care that I was treated like an animal having my baby ripped and stolen from me. But I can put it all behind me, and if you can do the same, I don't want to relive any of this. Let's wake up tomorrow and start where we left off. We know what happened, we can't change it, I prefer to just drop everything." She said calmly, her eyes imploring Joe.

Joe let out a deep breath and looked at her sincerely, "If that's what you want, we can do that. Just be sure it's what you want."

Philly had overheard everything and stood up and came over to them.

"This guy Spagner, who orchestrated the whole thing, is currently under arrest for a lot of little things associated with the cover-up of all of this. The Jersey State Medical Board is pressing the charges, not you, so you won't have to testify against him or his co-conspirator. If they call me I can testify as to why they were hiding all of the documents. But, I want you to think about how you propose to handle all of this, because once you choose to let it all go, that's it. Try to be sure there won't be any remorse over doing that." Philly warned them.

"I know, I've already thought of that myself. We'll take a few days to talk about it, but you'll keep us posted on everything?" Joe asked.

"Certainly. Remember, you want closure. Not closure with second thoughts. What they did to Selena is unforgivable, but if the only way to make them pay for it means Selena having to live it over and over and have every intimate detail of your life, your relationship, and even financial situation brought up in a trial . . . . . . . . I've been a witness is rape cases when it's brought out in therapy. It gets ugly." Philly cautioned. 

Joe and Selena were weighing the word Philly told them as she packed up her briefcase and had Joe arrange a car to ready to bring her to the airport. Philly allowed herself a few hours to be sure Selena was OK after the drugs she had injected into her wore off. Her flight wasn't until 7:10, but at 4:45 Selena got up from the sofa where Joe had walked her earlier and declared she was hungry and really had to pee.

"As much as that doesn't sound like a cue to leave, that is. If you can page the driver, I'm ready to go." She told Joe.

As Joe and Selena walked her down to the driveway Philly told them, "I'll call you as I get information on the DNA tests and the charges they have on this Spagner character. Do NOT do anything to try and contact him or anything stupid like that. Let the justice system handle this. There are additional charges that a grand jury is going to hear about improper handling of money that may take him off the street. I'll keep you on top of everything, but I suggest you keep all of this information to yourself. Remember that I am just a citizen in this whole deal and have been made privy to some info that the state board provided. Be patient and I'll be in touch. Any problems, call me right away."

"I know I've thanked you many times, but Thank You again for taking such an interest in my case and being such a true and understanding friend." Selena said as she hugged and kissed Philly before she got into the car.


As they turned to walk through the garage back into the house Selena realized that she and Joe were to be really "alone" for the first time since that morning in 2001.

"Let's go upstairs and sit on the sofa together like we used to." She said as she tugged his hand and stepped on the elevator.

As they settled into the sofa in front of the picture window that looked out over a good part of the city Joe took her hand and kissed it saying, "You said you were hungry before, what do you want me to fix you?"

"I know exactly what I want." Selena said with a sly grin as she turned a bit and put her hand right on Joe's package.

"YOU are about to get one of most deserved blowjobs of your life. I know you don't like that term, but there is no other way to describe how I am going to get dirty with your cock. My head in your lap until your cum is in my belly. I'm still wearing a tampon so you can't help me much in that department, but sliding your cock in my mouth will get me off in my own way." She said as her hand found the tab on his zipper and she shoved herself away enough to be able to bend to get at him.

Joe said nothing as she pulled his zipper down and then unfastened his pants and opened them to reveal no underwear.

"Ooooo, commando! I get to play with those balls too!" She said her eyes riveted to the penis that lay before her.

She bent and took it in her hand and aimed it at her mouth and took as much as she could of the shaft in her mouth so she could feel it engorge.

Joe swooned as the blood rushed to his cock and filled her mouth. She pressed her mouth as far as it would go and came up sucking to get all the man taste she could with a deep swallow before doing the same 2 more times. She sat back and stroked it twice, satisfied it was now at full mast, and took the head in her mouth and began to bob her head over him while her right hand found his balls and lifted them gently to caress while they manufactured the load of cum she so desperately wanted to taste. 

She felt her own spittle dripping from the base of his cock over his balls into her hand knowing it was just the right slickness for her mouth to get the proper friction to make him cum. Knowing she was having her period and she didn't relish being touched between her legs (unless she was doing it) and during that time he restrained himself. However he saw her seemingly sawing her legs together or at least trying to create some sort of friction below so he slid his hand over the cute round bottom and the almost pajama type lounge pants she wore for the session earlier. He quickly found the split of her newly shaved pussy and began to trace his finger up and down it. As he pressed harder she was responding by groaning through her suction that she was enjoying it.

He kept the rubbing going hot and heavy as she squirmed her torso around, but her mouth not missing a beat as she slid her lips and tongue over and over him. Suddenly Joe's breath quickened and a shrill moan was coming from her throat as he brought her closer and closer to her own end.

She was quite determined not to stop as her orgasm intensified and his breathing become determined. She suddenly shook like being struck by lightning and bolted her head down over his cock involuntarily from the rush of pleasure spasm, the head of his penis going into her throat, something she had never been able to do before. The sudden pressure and squeeze on the pulsing head of his cock pushed him over the edge as his first shot went directly down her throat as she stopped her sucking and took her mouth off, while still stroking him. A second volley escaped before she put her mouth over him again and squirmed her bottom out of his reach, sliding to the floor. She ate the rest that he pushed out and sucked and licked at him until he could take no more.

Selena pulled up from him and started laughing hysterically.

"What's so funny!" Joe asked, so amused.

"We beat them, we beat the fuckers! The terrorists thought they killed us and I saw them celebrating that fact in the videos. Some horny little bastard took advantage of me, the only way he could get laid, by tying down a dying woman. They got me pregnant and stole the baby away and now, the terrorists are dead, and the slimy son of a bitch who raped me is going to jail. And me, and you, we just got laid and will get laid every which way possible whenever we want. OUR LOVE IS INDESTRUCTABLE!!" She beamed.

"It's a pseudo-perverted way to look at it, but you may be right, come here and let me hold you." Joe said as she lifted herself up and lay across Joe pushing him down onto the sofa where they laid together catching their breath.

As they both fought dozing off in each other's arms Selena looked up to see the time.

"Joey, it's almost 6. Mom and Dad will be here with the pizza in a few minutes. Let's get dressed and freshen up. My sweats are a little wet in the crotch and I have cum-breath. You have to wash your hands and change your pants. I drooled so much spit that it ran off your balls and into your pants." She said before she jumped up and went to freshen up and change with Joe following.

In the bedroom they changed hurriedly and each time Joe looked to Selena she had a strange grin on her face. Joe knew her well enough to know that something was up.

"What!!??"

"You went right into my throat and shot!"

"I know, but I didn't do that, you did." 

"God, your fingers made me cum so hard, it was just a whole body jerk and next thing I know, you're all the way down me. Did it feel good?"

"Obviously, it's a strange sensation, like being all the way in you and another mouth puts pressure on the tip. Hard to express."

"I never got to taste much of you, it just shot in my throat."

Selena continued the strange grin and acted a bit embarrassed and Joe went to her.

"What is it that bothers you about this?"

"Nothing really, except you enjoyed it so much, I don't think I can do it again." She said sheepishly.

"Don't worry, if it happens, it happens. I didn't ask you to do it and I never would, you've told me you didn't like to gag. I'm just happy that after all the time we've been together, we find new things to make each other happy." He said comforting her.

The doorbell rang and Selena ran to the bathroom, saying as she went by him,

"You get that. I didn't freshen up yet."

Joe led her parents into the kitchen and washed his hands while Betty Hanson got napkins, plates, and forks. Selena joined them and when they all started eating. Scott looked to Betty and started to cry tears of happiness.

"There were nights we had pizza delivered here just so we could sit and be where you two were, like you might reappear some day. It sounds nutty, but it was comforting in a lot of ways. Now, it's almost as if we knew you weren't gone." Scott said as he reached for his daughters hand.

"Daddy, you were always the stern protector, and now I see you're a sweet old softee with a fragile heart." Selena said as she intertwined her fingers with his.

"When you think you've lost the thing you love most in the world you question a lot of things. Your Mom and I have both changed from this, and now our faith in God is so much stronger, where we had doubts before." Scott said through his tears.

"Even though we lived right through the middle of it, 911 had a greater impact on all of the families of the people who lived through it and saw the aftermath as well as the families who had loved ones die.”  Joe said as they all joined hands.

Chapter 13

Trying to undo 2 deaths and all the legalities with money and property that changed hands is like trying to put the air back into a burst balloon. A legal team was trying to make everything as if their deaths never happened, for obvious reasons. Luckily, there were no hostile heirs who received anything from their hastily drawn wills. There were endowments to PolyTech that could easily be undone as no cash or property ever changed hands since they were contingent on the demise of Scott and Betty Hanson.  PolyTech was also aware that they would be re-written into new wills for the pair. The 3 properties they bought as the towers were attacked had been under contract with a leasing company for 7 years. That contract would expire soon and lawyers made those parties aware that the contract would not be extended and a new property management agent would be put in place to be sure the homes were kept secure and in good repair when they weren’t occupied by the Joe and Selena.

Joe, especially, was getting itchy to get back into his stock trading. It wasn’t so much to produce income, but rather to fulfill his hobby. As it had been 9 years ago, investing in the retirement homes around the world in their favorite spots had ended his serious speculation in financials. He still liked the joy of the hunt and kill, but big risk was left for those who had yet to achieve financial security. Besides, if Selena decided to continue her Wall Street Global career they, as a couple, would have enough in the game by virtue of her seat and partnership in the firm.

The legal firm Joe had contacted was a partnership that included his original legal attorney for Johnson Construction. His name was Roger Moret and was now part of the firm Murray, Moret and Caribou. Moret had been a personal friend and was one of the first to offer Joe and Selena congratulations and assistance when they returned home. He had advised Joe to let them follow where each dollar had gone since their “deaths” and see where they stood. Joe was quite pleased to find that despite the tremendous ebb and flow of the markets and real estate, they had done quite well. The leased properties turned profits from long term tenants with a low vacancy rate, and even that mostly because of the property in Maine not being occupied in winters. Selena’s parents were cautious on their investments and did little besides pay themselves for maintaining the home and managing funds. They had easy access to millions of dollars, but instead lived frugally in their home where Selena was raised and enjoyed the luxuries of Joe’s place overlooking the city. Essentially, they had paid themselves about 50K a year for the 9 years and had bought 2 cars and had a new pool installed at Joes when the liner and pumps failed.   


The way the Hansons paid themselves it was as if they were employees of the Trust and 
Roger Moret thought they could write it up that way with them being employees of Joe and Selena, caring for the properties. That might make the tax adjustment a little more palatable and of course Joe and Selena could come up with enough “slush” to be sure they never took a big tax hit.

The representative in the US Senate from their district already had gears in motion to waive some red tape to get them passports to Jamaica after hearing the press conference where Selena said she wanted to get away and get their lives back in order.  The State Department, Homeland Security, and Office of the Inspector General, were all in concert with the NYS Governor, US Senate, and the US Postal Service to clear their way. Their passports had just been updated prior to 911 and that was making all of that easy to push through.

Selena had been concerned with Joe because he had yet to leave his property since they came home, it had been 3 days.

“Daddy brought the Mustang in to get new tires and stuff for me. He says it runs great after being mothballed all that time. Let’s go for a ride, maybe you can even look for a car.” She said after they both finished with the morning papers.

 “Uh, no. I’m fine; I have things to do around here.” Joe answered getting up quickly and going back towards his office.

“Joe, you’re going to have to go out and start to live again and sitting in here or the back yard isn’t exactly you. I made a trip to the mall with my mother yesterday and it was great to get out and breath, see people and begin to get back into it. Yes, a few people stopped and recognized me, but they only wished me well, asked for God’s blessing. One older woman wanted to hug me. All of this will wear off. We were in every newspaper around here and made national TV, but people know we want some privacy.” Selena said as she went to him and stopped his exit by taking his arm.

“I’m not ready yet. My mind is still a little paranoid. Everybody wants something.” He answered curtly.

“Joe, wanting to wish us well isn’t exactly the stuff people get paranoid about. Lick this now before you develop a real problem. We’ve been cooped up for 9 years, and you hardly remember more than a few of them. Get dressed and we’ll go for a ride, stop down at Bishops Park and walk the mile trail. We can stop across from the park at that car dealer, Jerry Cahills. I saw the ad on TV and he still deals in GM and foreign cars. You bought the Roadster from there.” Selena said to him in a tone he understood as being “you’re GOING to do this for me, aren’t you?”

“BMW is making a Roadster, but not like mine with the German M engine. If I ordered one with the M it will be a Z4 and they take over a year to get. I’ve been on the internet . . . . . So pissed I lost my car on top of everything else in that whole deal.” Joe said whimsically. 

“That was the least of our worries.” Selena said softly.

“Well, OBVIOUSLY! I didn’t mean it like it sounded. It just fit me so well. We could ride close, get in and out of small places in New York, and you looked so damn good in it!” Joe said making motions with his hands and ending by pulling her close to hug.

Selena turned into him and playfully poked her finger in his chest hairs. “So why don’t you order the car and color you want, with the engine you want, . . . and in the meantime go with me to Jerry Cahills and pick out something we both like. When you get your precious Roadster, I’ll keep whatever we you drive until then. OK?”

“What about your Mustang?”
“Joe, it’s almost 15 years old and I don’t want to depend on it. I know it wasn’t in use most of that time, but still . . . . . .”

“I suppose you ARE right. If we did that we could give your Dad the Mustang. He babied it like it was you for the 9 years, the way it sounded. Let’s go and look at cars tomorrow, OK?” Joe said as he tried to break free from her.

“Get dressed, we’re going now.” She said quietly as Joe turned and went to the bedroom to change.

Selena followed him in and said “You know he’s got 3 leftover Pontiac Solstices, one of them almost the color of the Roadster.”

“I don’t know what a Solstice is, and you’ve already been looking, huh, you little brat.”

“I saw it as my Mom drove by and I thought of you and we went back to look. Pontiacs are gone now, but they made this sports car the last year. He has 3 more leftover at full sticker, but we can afford it.” Selena said hopefully.

“What makes you think I would like it? Just get one to replace the Mustang.”

“Joe, when we drove by I saw it, top down and the same color blue as the Roadster, and I got wet thinking of you behind the wheel, seriously. I went and looked at it; it has a hardtop that comes off and a convertible top in the hatchback. It’s sooooo sexy and it screams Joey!” She said getting excited.

“Are you sure it didn’t scream Selena?” Joe asked sarcastically.

“Joe the thought of you keeping it until you got the Beemer Roadster with your special engine just came to me when you said it might take a year to get. I wouldn’t manipulate you. Trust, baby, trust.” She said, a little pissed for him to think that, before she lost her temper a bit.

“If I wanted the fucking car, I would have bought it! I wouldn’t need your approval. Now get dressed and I’m getting you out of the house before you go crazy. You’ve come this far back and I’m not going to lose you now. Mom said Dr Culver warned her you might try to crawl into a shell, and I’m not letting it happen. We’ll go, take the walk, look at the car and then find a place we can make love outside, maybe up near Treachers Park. How would you like me bent over the Mustang with my skirt pushed up over my ass?” She said starting in a decisive voice before turning Joe to the wall and pressing herself to him for the eye to eye proposition.
  
“That sounds more like us than any ideas I’ve had lately. God, I love you when you take control of a situation. . . . . . . . dirty girl” Joe said as he slid from the wall and rushed to change his clothes.


She let him pass but not before calling him out quickly, “And I’m not a dirty girl, I just love you and have to have you all of the time. Once I see you in the little blue AMERICAN roadster, I’ll bet I’ll ready to go.”

They both laughed but Selena knew she had to get Joe out of his protective shell. The outgoing lothario may have gotten past having to have every woman he saw, but his dominant personality always kept him in control of all situations. Suddenly he wasn’t so sure of himself.

Selena was ready to go, but still no Joe appeared from the bedroom so she went into see what was holding him up. There he stood in front of the mirror with his face almost against it, looking for wrinkles. Trying to smooth the little crow’s feet around his eyes.

Suddenly it hit Selena. Joe at 50 had become worried about his looks, his appeal.

“Joe, you’re still the sexiest man in any room, and could probably have any woman you want. Being vain about your looks will get you old fast.” She said as she put her arms around him and looked from under his arm to his face in the mirror.

“Essy, I still feel 42, but I sure do look 50.”

“Up close in the mirror, you might look even older Joe. Once you get out and in the swing again, in the pool in the summer, in the gym now, and you start getting that good sleep again, you’ll be fine. You have so little gray, and if you want to cover it up, I don’t care. Do you know how sexy I find you?” She said staring at his eyes in the reflection.

Selena pulled at him and they were off. They cruised the main streets of town noting all of the new building they had missed and eventually worked their way to Bishops Park. They parked close to the walking trail and saw almost every car had a bike rack.


“Damn Joey! We can buy bicycles now! Your knees are fixed! We could pick up the bike path here. It splits the park and then goes down to follow the river a bit and back here. I did that all the time when I first started at PolyTech.” Selena exclaimed as she pulled the Mustang in.

“I have a stationary bike down in the garage, unless your Dad got rid of it. I had to stop using it long before I met you.” Joe said looking back and forth over the landscape for people.

“Joe? We could ride together OUTSIDE. Not just for the exercise, but for the fresh air, getting out. We’re not staying cooped up in that house. Let’s get out and walk.”

Selena never stopped talking all through their walk, clinging to Joe as they strolled, sometimes crunching the newly fallen leaves as they filled parts of the path. When they came to the long part of the path out of the tree groves Selena broke from Joe and tugged at him.

“Come on, military pace now. Lucy always said to keep your arms up and elbows tight to your bra line at military pace to give high tits and a round ass. Wow, Lucy, there’s someone we have to get back to. She wrote she’ll be in town next week to see us.” Selena said as she picked up the pace and started breathing heavy.

“The only high tits I want are yours, and I don’t have a bra line. As for the round ass. . . . . .” Joe laughed as he joined her.

“YOU still have a great ass Joe and this will help you keep it!” Selena said as she saw Joe getting into it, feeling the competitiveness.

Soon they were striding together and breathing together in the cool air. Joe was surely starting to feel invigorated. They were coming to the other starting point on the path, the one directly across from Jerry Cahills Auto Plaza. Selena turned them into a cool down zone with water fountains, benches and stretch bars. They stood and got their breath and got a drink before Selena tugged Joe towards Cahills.

They crossed at the crosswalk and walked to the big showroom window where the blue Solstice Essy had talked about was.

“You go in and check that out. I saw something that caught my eye in the side lot. I’ll be right in.” Selena told him as he definitely had an eye for the blue car that reminded Selena so much of his beloved Roadster.

There were 3 other browsers inside and a bank of 5 unoccupied sales people. One was an attractive 40 something blonde in a blue tight fitting knit dress. She had a thick sales book in her arm held to her chest.

“I see something provocative in blue has caught your eye! My name is Sarah Zee.” She said as she came up and handed him a sales card, like a dog peeing on a tree to mark her spot.

“Uh, Joe. Nice to meet you” Joe said as he looked her up and down, a move that was not lost on her and the fact she dressed for the effect.

“We only have 3 of these left and there’s no dicking around with them, I mean dickering with them. The price is the price. Very rare and not made anymore, but full warranty, 5 years and 100,00 miles by GM and Jerry Cahills. We have one available for test drive and I would love to go out with you. I can show you all around the car and answer any questions.” Sarah said.

Joe’s face lit up and he said “Sure, I’d love to take it for a ride.”

She smiled and winked and said she would be back in a minute as she went to get the key.

Joe continued to look around the car when a second female sales person came up, a younger redhead, but subtly more attractive and business-like than the first.

“Are you being helped? I could get you in a Solstice TODAY. We’re road tested and ready for you to slip into.” She said with a wry smile in a tone the was suggestive

For the second time in a few minutes Joe had been come onto by 2 diversely different personalities. He felt a pudge in his pants and suddenly became aware that he was standing back straight and stomach tightened.

“No, no, no, no, I AM being helped, but thanks anyway.” Joe said looking her up and down as he did the first.

She turned and walked away clicking her heels on the floor to draw his attention to her “walk-away” that was quite pleasing to his eyes. She hadn’t clicked that way when she walked over, but she knew how to draw his eyes as she looked back to catch him checking her rear and smiled at him before disappearing into a cubicle.

Joe turned back there stood Selena, arms folded and smiling a sly grin.

“If you think you’re rolling out of the lot with either of those bimbos, you are sadly mistaken, Mister I’m Fifty and Unattractive. What’s the matter? You finding out that the old magic works?” She asked.

No, no, they just want to make a sale.” Joe said quietly. “We won’t be gone long, just a little test drive.”

“Well, “Blondie big tits” is going to know that you are married to me before she gets you in that car.” Selena said decisively.

Joe smiled and said “Yes dear, you’re right again dear.”

Selena was happy that Joe became aware that he still was attractive and still considered “hunky” but suddenly felt threatened, although she trusted Joe.

“There’s the Mens room, I’m going to hit that before I go out. Don’t embarrass me if she comes back.” Joe said with a smirky smile as he walked away while Selena bit her lower lip.

She had no reason to think Joe would stray, but now it was her own vanity. A separation of nine years, being raped, and giving birth, . . .  they all left her to think she might be used merchandise in Joe’s eyes. In her heart of hearts she knew that couldn’t be true as she looked out at the silver Solstice Sarah Zee had just pulled into the presentation apron at the front of the showroom.

Sarah got out and brushed her clingy dress down and strode confidently toward the far side door to retrieve Joe. She looked back to the hallway where Joe disappeared a moment ago to see if he were coming and turned back to look at the car. Joe was just getting in while Sarah was holding the door for him. She scooted to the other side and the car took off!

Selena clenched her fists and steamed to think Joe had done this, if only on principle.

In the car Sarah was totally professional showing him the features of the car, asking him to make certain turns where he could feel the cars performance while she bantered with Joe.

“I like it, I really do!” Joe said as he downshifted, made a turn, and punched the accelerator. “Its feel and handling are similar to my last car, my Roadster.”

Sarah suddenly turned in her seat and brought up one knee to sit on her leg allowing a view way up her other thigh as her clingy knit dress slid up.

“We could stop and have a coffee and talk about it there, instead of the showroom.” She said as she patted her hand over his on the stick.

Joe pulled his hand away quickly. “NO, I wouldn’t make a decision on the car unless I spoke with my wife, who is back there waiting for us.”

Sarah turned red for a moment and quickly straightened herself, not accustomed to being “turned down” when she threw her hooks out.

“Well then,” She said clearing her throat and staring forward, “Let’s head back and we can all talk.”

“Believe me Sarah, there was a time when . . . .” He started to say as he turned to meet her eyes, and she just nodded, embarrassed still, adding “Yes, there WAS a time, be it a long time ago. I was 20 and going to PolyTech. I met you at a kegger for a frat you were legacy for, you took me to the Holiday Inn and we spent Sunday in bed and I never saw you again. You showed me that sex doesn’t have to be quick and dirty. I didn’t realize it was you until you just looked at me.”

“I’m sorry.” Joe said quietly.

“No, don’t apologize. You’re as provocative now as you were then. Not many men can ooze confidence, yet seem so . . . . I guess accessible is the word.” Sarah said as she smoothed down her dress.

When they pulled back onto the presentation apron Joe jumped out of the car and near ran to meet Selena who was coming out.

“I really, really, like it baby. If we buy the blue one would you be happy with it when I finally get my Roadster M?” Joe said as he hugged her.

All her venom ran out right there as her Joe showed his true colors.

“Anything that makes you happy, Joey!” She whispered in his ear as she hugged him back.

Sarah Zee came into the showroom and called across the room, “Joe, you and your wife should come to my cubicle where we can discuss the car, OK?” She said as she pointed to where she was headed.

The talk was quick and to the point, if they could get the blue Solstice, they had a deal. Joe had a laundry list of options he wanted added, things he read about on the internet including this 4G communication that would connect him to the world while driving.

During the simple negotiations Joe and Selena revealed who they were and their recent situation. They had cash for a deposit, but checks had yet to arrive. A cashier’s check could be produced if they needed it. Sarah took the obligatory trip “to see her manager”, who came out to meet them, congratulate them, and tell them they could arrange any payment method they wanted. Joe made it understood they would basically pay cash for the car and to call when it was ready.

They walked out of Jerry Cahill’s to cross the street to Bishops Park and finish their walk. Selena beamed that she had an idea that made Joe so happy.

“So, I did good picking out the right car for you?”

“Yes, you did. It’s not the M, but it’s something I really like and it takes the sting out of not having my Roadster I loved so. It’s like a small Corvette, and I don’t like Corvette’s because they are too long for a single seater.”

“I was pissed when you snuck out the side door with Sarah.”

“There was no sneaking. I walked out of the Men’s Room and she was coming up the hall with the keys and said “Let’s go”, so I did.”

“I have to admit, when I saw her talking to you, her eyes lit up, her nostrils seem to flair, and her facial color changed. She was smitten by your looks and that thing you use to,  . . 
to, . . . do whatever you do.” Selena said uncomfortably.

Joe stopped in his tracks. “Do whatever I do?”

“You know, to close deals and get a woman to, . . . do whatever you want.” Selena said wishing she could rewind and erase her words.

“Is THAT what I used to get you? Because if it is I would like to know when I turned it on. Remember I pushed you away and you used YOUR thing you do to reel ME in.” Joe said sarcastically. 

Selena exhaled deeply. “My words came out wrong, but if you thought your appeal was waning because of an age number you apply to yourself, you’re wrong. I saw 2 women look a little wobbly kneed while trying to deal with you.”

“Wobbly kneed?” Joe said keeping the sarcasm in his tone.

Selena was getting frustrated, not knowing if Joe was playing with her or upset. She clenched her fists to her side and spat out an  “UGH!”

“You KNOW what I mean! Tell me honestly, if you were on the prowl which one of those women do you think you could have gotten into bed?” She asked hoping to make a point.

“Both of them. They each had the look and made that eye contact that goes beyond hello.” He admitted.

“So, I don’t have to listen to any of the foolish talk about you getting old, looking old, and losing your appeal?” She asked as she reached behind both of his elbows and pulled him close.

“I was paranoid and wrong. I just wasn’t seeing that I wanted to see in the mirror, and perhaps you were right, I was looking too close. Right now I feel fantastic and confident, something I didn’t feel before, so thanks for getting me out here.” Joe said.

“Was it the come-on from “Blondie big tits” that got your juices going?” She asked as if she would be hurt if she wasn’t the reason.

“No, YOU got me going, getting me out here with a promise of making love over the car. You fire me up every time.” Joe said quietly before pausing.

“You,  . . um . . . ought to know, and you’ll be pissed, . . . I’ve slept with the blond, years ago. I didn’t remember, she did, but I do recall the situation.” Joe said holding her hands tighter so she couldn’t pull away.

She went to pull away and Joe held her, “Now Selena, I was 32, she was 20. I was a legacy for a frat at PolyTech. I gave $10,000 to the building fund for ChiPhi and there was a celebratory kegger. I did meet a girl there who made drunken promises that I took to the downtown Holiday Inn, that isn’t there anymore. I didn’t remember it as being her, but it was a blonde with quite a chest. Ten years before I met you, and I don’t even remember it was her. She made that big an impression on me.” Joe said.

“What if you found out I shared my goodies with half the city?” Selena said almost crying.

“Come on Essy, we’ve been through this before and from the day I met you we have been our only loves and anything that happened before that was just that. Let’s keep this day special.” Joe begged her as he hugged her tightly.

“I guess the emotion of the rape and everything has me worried that something has changed, but I know it hasn’t.” She squeaked in his ear trying to stifle her crying.

“No, no, never Essy. I love you so much and so much more each day. Nothing can change that. Come on, let’s finish our walk, and go for that ride in Treachers Park.”
Joe said pulling at her arm as they walked arm and arm, then breaking into an exercise pace.

After they finished the path back to the car they took off with Selena driving and she headed just out of the city, climbing into the nearby mountains to Treachers Park. It was officially closed, but, picnickers and campers were allowed to use the facilities until the first major weather change, usually the first frost or snow, and then park rangers enforced the closed campground rules except for the overlook areas.

Selena found an empty lot, one of the larger camping areas with an L shaped parking lot with the leg of the L jutting back away from the road. She parked at the end slot, backing the car in and smiled at Joe.

“If we park here and someone comes, we’ll have a chance to get straightened out, . . . what do you think?” She said shyly.

“I think you’re a genius.” He said with a chuckle as he went to get out of the car. “But why did you back in?”

“It may be cool out, but I don’t want to be fucked over the hot hood. The trunk will be perfect.” She said candidly, holding his arm so he wouldn’t get out yet.

She leaned over and kissed him deeply and then paused to push her seat all the way back. She turned and slid over the console planting her lips on his. Joe slid his hand over her little skirt and squeezed the balls of her ass, discovering she wore no panties under the skirt. She groaned and rolled over in his lap so she was face up in his lap and pulled his face to hers again. His busy hands snuck under her light top and found her round, pliant titties to squeeze as she groaned into his mouth.

She broke the kiss after a few moments and reached for the steering wheel to pull herself up into a sitting position, then backing her body over to console to sit up in his lap.

“Eat up my boobies, they need wicked attention.” She said as she pushed her shirt up to expose her perfect round breasts that Joe couldn’t resist.

He pawed and suckled at her nipples to her delight until he became uncomfortable with her sitting on his growing package.

“I could snack on your titties all day, but I’ve got a real problem growing below.” He said with a smile as she quickly lifted herself off of him and slid across the console to her seat and then out the door.

“C’mon Joey, there’s no one around.” Selena commanded as she walked to the back of the car.

Joe liked the fact that Selena was being the aggressor and using a little coarser language than she normally used with sex. They usually made love, as opposed to fucking. Not that she never used that kind of language, it was just she seemed out to prove she could “fuck” as well as any of his previous sex-mates.

From the main park road you would have to look hard to see anyone behind her car. So, when Joe walked behind the car with her she turned him to lean against the back of the car and she reached for snap on the walking pants he wore and snaked her hand inside pushing his underwear over his hardness and getting her hand under his balls.

“Is that a little more room down there?” She said as she bent over and pulled his pants down a bit with her other hand as she slid her lips over the head of his cock.

“Mmmmm, Mmmmmm. That’s my good cock.” She said lifting her head from him for a moment before almost gagging on him and then standing up. “Do you know how many times I dreamed about it? Not just a cock, yours. I had my hands in my pussy most every night. I had other patients trying to get in my pants, even though I never said a word, for the most part. It was you that I wanted. One of the male night nurses came in and wanted to jerk off with me, they all heard me play with myself. I was afraid to shoo him away and cause a fuss. He said he could turn off all the lights and the cameras would never see. I know what he wanted, but when I said “GO” real loud, he panicked and left. Most there never heard me speak.” 

She kissed him and put her arms around him, then turning the two of them around so she was against the trunk.  She broke the kiss and smiled at him, turning around and peeling the gray fleece lined skirt up before leaning over the trunk wagging her ass to be fucked.

“Come on Joe Johnson, fuck your dirty girl. Push that wet cock up my pussy and fuck me good.” She demanded.

When she turned and bent Joe saw one of the physical features Selena had that drove him crazy, her gorgeous ass. The swell of her hips led to a full round apple that had no fault. It was perfect and no matter how she bent or twisted, it was always perfect with no creases or bulges. His cock raged in his hand at the sight of her as he put a hand on the small of her back and fit himself into the wet, pink, slit she displayed.

“OOOOOOOF!” She exclaimed as Joe did almost the same inside his mouth as he pushed all the way into her.

He bent over her body, engulfing his arms around her and holding the side of his face to her back.

“God, I love you so much Selena. You don’t have to act like a dirty girl to make me want you. I like it, but YOU are the reason I love you. I see you, or hear you, or smell you and I’m excited. You are the magic that makes me love you. We WILL get old and our looks WILL go away, but loving you will never change.” He said candidly, overwhelmed by the moment.

“I don’t have to worry about losing you to one of those sex pots?” She joked quietly.

“You’re all I want and need, never doubt me. Look what we’ve been through.” Joe said wishing the moment would last forever.

Joe felt her flex herself on him and suddenly he remembered the task at hand. He stood up straight and began to slide from her grip and he pushed at her once again as she cooed, loving the feeling of his cock in her.

Quickly Joe’s pace built to where he was pounding at her with the slap of his hips to her ass the only sound in the air.

Suddenly she wailed not caring how loud she might be.

“ Ohh, Oh, Oh, AAEEEEEEEE!” she cried pushing back to his thrusts as Joe saw the back of her neck turn white and then suddenly red as her body convulsed on his cock.

He could hold back no longer and went for broke wanting to cum as she did. He looked down at the dilated little asshole above the soaked cock that blurred in and out of her, her juices flying in the air. “Take it Essy, take it, TAKE IT!” He cried out as he felt his balls empty into her as the sound of their squishy communion went away as their juices soaked the situation. He fell forward onto her, exhausted. They remained quiet as their breathing returned to normal.

“Dirty little girl? I don’t think so.” Joe whispered as he heard the plop of cum dripping from her pussy onto the pavement. “You’ll always be my sweet Selena, my Essy. You think women like that Sarah Zee offer me something you can’t, but you’re wrong. Yes, there is a thrill with something strange, but to give and receive the love we share so freely is the greatest thing in the world. I may look and admire other women, and my nature is to flirt back when I’m hit on. That’s part of my personality and I do it all day long with you as well. Changing that would be changing me. Never fear, we belong to only each other. We may have had a nine year blank spot, but we are as hot for each other as when we first got together.”

Joe felt himself slide from her and a stream of cum followed but Selena only wanted to turn her tear filled face to Joe to kiss him. “Your words are so sweet; you make me feel like the most loved woman in the world. God, someone could have just pulled right up to the car and I wouldn’t have seen them, I was so wrapped up in that. We better straighten up ourselves.” She said as happy tears still streamed down her face.

She popped the trunk lid before her and took out a roll of paper towels, using one to wipe between her legs. She went to her purse, as Joe wiped himself off, and retrieved her panties she had taken off before they left. She stepped into them and put another paper towel between them and her leaky pussy.

“Come on, let’s go home and shower. Besides, my phone has been vibrating like crazy.” Selena said adjusting her undies and slipping behind the wheel.

“Mine too! I wonder who it is.” Joe said as he got in and shut the door and fished in the cargo pocket of his walking pants for his phone.

“My call is Philly.” Joe said as Selena slipped her phone from the waist pocket of her skirt and handed it to Joe.

“Hmm, yours is Philly too. We can call her from the house phone when we get there.” Joe said putting both phones on the console.

Chapter 14

 Fall colors were late and on the drive home they were amazed at some of the bright colors still so vibrant on the way home. Little was said until Joe was suddenly struck by some of her words before they made love in the park.

“Did you always imagine me in your little masturbation fantasies? I mean, every night is a lot.” Joe said quietly as he looked at her, her eyes fixed on the road in her own thoughts.

“Funny you say that, I was just thinking that too. Yes, you were the only one. I always thought you would sneak in my room, thinking you spent every day looking for me. That was why I freaked out when the male nurse stood beside the bed with his cock out saying he wanted to masturbate with me. His cock was only 6 inches from my face and I know what he wanted. I always fantasized you would wake me like that, standing there with your cock out for me to suck and make happy for you. The other was you crawling under the covers and licking my pussy and clit to wake me. But, every night once I got in bed I was convinced I was in Limbo and Philly was the angel who would bring me to heaven. Nutty, huh?” She said, unsure of her state at the time.


“After the state I was in I am in no place to call anyone nutty. Our minds lead us down strange paths and we have no control, it seems. At least you remember everything about the time. I don’t recall a thing.” Joe said reaching over to pat her thigh.

“Remembering may be a curse, like with me. I was so mad I betrayed you.” Selena said quietly.

“PLEASE, get over that. I no more think you betrayed me . . . . . . . . . You had no control and you damn near died trying to fight him off. Now just stop that or maybe I WILL think you’re a little nutty.” Joe said scolding her.

“Can we take a ride someday and hope to get a chance to see her? I have to admit I’m curious.” Selena said changing the subject fast.

“I’m not sure Philly would OK that for you, at least right away, and she’s the one who can come up with her identity. Let’s begin to put our lives back a bit more before we think about that. I don’t think you need the emotional high or low it will cause.” Joe said tenderly so she knew he was with her in her curiosity and not just appeasing her.

“When do our lines go live?” She asked, wondering when they would get their trading and monitoring capabilities back.

“They said it could happen today. I saw them working on the lines yesterday and I thought it would be on line this morning, but nothing as of when we left.” Joe answered, obviously anxious to get started watching stocks and making some deals.

“How long until credit lines are open?” She wondered.

“As soon as we are wired I can do some bank transfers to prepay anything until I re-establish a line of credit.” Joe answered with a sigh.

“Remember, we have the houses, we have enough money and I’ll be going back to work, as far as I know, . . .don’t get too cute and try to show the world Joe Johnson is back. With the economy as soft as it is we should lay low.” She said with a poke in his ribs as she turned onto Sheridan and headed home.

As they turned into the blind drive and drove up Scott Hanson was letting a man with a telephone truck into the house.

“You two don’t answer phones? I called each of you to come back and let this guy in. You need a new modem to get the stuff you want. Your stuff is 10 years old.” Scott said with a chuckle as he walked the repairman in.

Joe took out his phone and there was an arrow beside the missed call from Philly and it revealed 2 missed calls from Scott.

“We were busy Daddy. We took a walk, took a ride, and bought a new car in between.”

“From the look on your face there was more than walking and riding in your afternoon.” Scott said as a sly grin curled his lip.

“We ARE married Daddy, wouldn’t hurt you and Mom to take “a ride” some time too.” She said to him happy that she could be a little more liberal with talk of such things.

“Why do you think I called both of you a couple of times before finally having to come up here? I may have been busy myself.” Scott said stone faced as he walked back into check on the repairman.

Joe Johnson couldn’t believe his ears, to hear the ever stoic and proper Scott Hanson speak so openly to his daughter, but he was glad.

Before going into pepper the repairman with questions about the lines he thought it best to return the call to Philly and he punched the reply key on his phone waiting to have her answer.

“Hi Joe, is Selena with you? I would like to talk to you first.” Philly said.

“She just stepped in the house talking with her Dad, I’m alone. What’s up?”

“Jack Spagner is not the Father of that baby, but Selena is the Mother. I know that much. In the DNA experiments where Emory Richards kept the baby DNA he has quite a few other hospital employees and I’m going to see if we can find a match to find out who else raped her. They were all volunteered for the experiment so it shouldn’t be a hassle.” Philly told him; sorry she had more bad news for him.

“Did you screen it with mine?”

“Your DNA? Why?”

“We made love on our short lived honeymoon that night. I did have the reversal and my sperm counts had to improve.” Joe said hopefully.

“I don’t have your DNA, but Edison probably does. Can you call Dr. Culver and release it for me?”

“Sure, I’ll do that now. What should I tell Selena?”

“Don’t hold anything back. She needs to trust us, and you especially, in order to break down any walls she has left. Tell her what we’re doing.”

“Test my DNA first before you do anyone elses, OK?”

“OK, I’ll be back to you tomorrow.” Philly said before hanging up.

Joe walked into the house and Scott was walking out ahead of the serviceman.

“He says your computers are a little behind the times for the set-up you want, talk to him.” Scott said as passed the baton to Joe.

“Where’s Selena?” Joe asked.

“On the phone in the bedroom, WSGG called for her as soon as she walked in.”

Joe looked at the service guy and simply said, “All hell is breaking loose at once here. My computers are a little old? Can we upgrade?”

“That’s not us, Sir. However, speaking for myself, for the high tech set-up I just put in, that old Gateway is past its usefulness, even the OS is way, way outdated.” The young man said honestly.

“Damn, I thought I could get by for a bit, until I caught up with myself. I’ll just get a new one ordered. What would you recommend?”

“First of all, let me congratulate you for finding your way home, so to speak. Incredible story. Secondly, what you had before, having a Mac and a Windows system, is still the best way to go for what you seem to want to do. Your Father said you had them talking to each other and could run anything, you might STILL better do that to avoid conflicts and shutouts. There is a new Mac OS and I think there’s a third build on Windows 7 for business, . . Professional, I think it’s called. If you get those, I would be glad to come back and reset you here, just to see how it works. Here’s my card with my pager number. I’ll make a special trip for you. I don’t live far from here.”

“Well, um . . . .OK,  . . . . um. . . (he said looking down at his card) Francis! I’ll call you.”

“Please call me Franny. It would be my pleasure to help you out.”

Joe showed Franny the way out and went back to the bedroom, noticing that Scott had hustled his way out of the house and was headed down the drive as Franny was leaving. 

“Maybe he did have a promise waiting for him.” Joe thought as he made his way to the bedroom and saw Selena walking out beaming bright, smiling ear to ear, still on the phone.

He opened his cell and called Dr. Culver to give her permission to release his DNA to the lab doing the work for Philly Flowers. He ended his call just as Selena was walking back to him as she wrapped her call with WSGG.

She threw her arms around Joe, so excited she could hardly speak.
“The boys want me back. I can stay as long as I want, but if I give them 18 months and get Deneigh on track and trained, they’ll be satisfied and call my service 12 years as far as the value of my seat in the partnership. My parents never dissolved it to leave it as part of the PolyTech endowment.” She bubbled.

“So it’s been gaining value all these years?”

“Well, gaining and losing. The Wall Street debacle that the government created hurt a lot of their clients and shook their credibility, but they never wavered, Ross said. Those who took their advice and weren’t swayed by the media reports and mistruths are all back to where they were or better. Our value is up quite well, Slim managed it for my parents.” She reported.

Then the bubbly, cheerful, mood seemed to run out of her as she took a look of deep pondering. 

“Now that I know they want me back,  the question is, do I want to go back? Did we miss so much life that we can never regain it? Do we take a bow and fade off? I told them that if I declined and didn’t return I would pay back their investment in me so they could use it for another student. The new partner, Jamaica Browne, went through a lot the same hoops as me, but Ross isn’t as happy as he thought they might be with her. She has 4 and half months of probation yet and he hopes I might help her out as well.” She said in serious tones, not having any real answers yet.

“New York can be a tough place to make it like you did.” Joe said.

“I’m sure she doesn’t have a centering force like you there, to teach you The City either.” Selena said, re-hugging her face to Joe’s shoulder and holding it there, thinking.

“So it sounds like you’ve already made the decision to go back.” Joe said, a little dejected they hadn’t talked it over.

“No, No, No! I’m like the actress who is nominated for the Oscar and loses saying the honor was being nominated. I’m so happy they WANT me back, and would be excited to HAVE me back. Joe I’ve been out of the loop and away from it all for 9 years and they haven’t skipped a beat in their respect for my talents. Do you know how humbling that is? They have 2 prospective partners who are a little shy on the extra mile you have to go, and they want me to hold their hands to see if they can get through, . . . . when they have 3 or 4 of the best financial minds on earth there. Come on Joe, think about it!  BUT, you know I wouldn’t make any decision like this without you. We have to plan how we continue our lives, what we’ll do, how we’ll do it. It’s another reason I think the trip to Jamaica and Negril is important. We can be away and think without distraction. And . . . . . . make love 5 times a day and not wear clothes all day if we don’t want to.” She said defending herself and adding her own wish for the beach at Negril.
 
“I wasn’t convinced about the Jamaica trip until now. We have a lot to think about and a lot to decide upon. Sure, the thought of living our lives away in our new homes and moving from one to another on a whim is what we wanted and talked about before, BUT, doesn’t it seem like there are challenges and tasks in life that we’ve missed or passed over? . . . or can we get by without them? If we really try to bring a child, or even two, into the world, can I enjoy fatherhood when I’m 60, or 70?” Joe mused.

“Could we enjoy parenthood once school starts and we have to stay in one place for 9 months every year? That’s the one bothering me. Those 9 years were the time we were to use to settle into all of this and send our child off to college before you were 60.” She said still holding her face to Joe’s shoulder while pondering aloud the thoughts she had heretofore kept to herself. 

“The nine years may have taken away our opportunity to have a baby? I thought it was so important to you.” Joe asked, knowing it was her dream.

“It is,” she said starting to cry, “It might seem selfish, but I don’t want to share you until you’re 70 or more and then get our freedom if he or she goes to college and have you too old to enjoy our total freedom. We could board a child at some fancy school, but then WE wouldn’t be raising it to our ideals. I’m so confused and don’t want to bring a child into this unless we settle down. We haven’t settled down in all the time we’ve been together and being gadabouts is the prize we aimed for.” Selena said, continuing to cry as reality was settling in.

“Fuck! You see? Not thinking my age would be a problem as we got older has become the problem. I’ve screwed up your life like all the naysayers said I would.” Joe said rubbing her back and feeling a little sorry he said the words aloud.

“Don’t be a jerk Joe! I have NO life without you. Loving you is my greatest accomplishment, no matter what you think. I never would have made it past the probation on Wall Street without you, I would be nowhere!! Damn you for saying that!” She said as she slapped the arm she had been hugging repeatedly.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I guess I want wallow in self pity.  . . . . OH, I almost forgot after YOUR phone call. The DNA for the child you had does match you, but not Jack Spagner. She’s trying to get the OK to check the rest of the DNA in the sample files the employees volunteered for in the experiment Philly told us about.” He told her after his own mea culpa, keeping in he and Philly’s no holding back promise.

“Oh my GOD! Have they checked YOUR DNA? I can’t believe anyone else in that hospital laid a hand on me. What if that baby was OURS?” She asked with hope and regret in her tone.
“I thought we decided NOT to interfere with the girl’s life, no matter what. She could never be ours, but Philly IS getting my DNA profile from Edison.” Joe said sadly.

“Not “ours” as to take possession, but ours as in made by our love, by our own egg and seed. Taking the child away from her parents would only serve us and cause so many problems. When you hear of that happening I think it’s so selfish.” Selena said clarifying, “but I would love to see her, see what she’s like.”

“Well, we don’t know, and it’s not probable that she is “ours”, so let’s not go off . . . .”
Joe started to say before Selena turned to him and pushed him against the wall and pasted her mouth to his, starting a long deep tonguing kiss.

She was almost breathless when she parted her lips from his saying, “You realize you’ve filled me more than once with your juice this week, and if it is potent we might have something going on right now.”

“ . . . and if we do?” Joe asked.

“I guess we have to make plans for 3 then.” She said nuzzling her lips to his neck.

“That would be OK, I’d accept the plans and changes it would bring. It would scuttle the decision making process we just spoke of and make it easy for us.” Joe said holding tightly.

She pulled back to meet his eyes and gave him a mischievous leer. “You realize that until I get a patch or IUD or something, all future deposits will have to go to the loading or unloading doors, nothing in the playpen.”

“So eloquent, my horny little wife.” He laughed.

“What can I say? I love making love with you and it doesn’t matter how. I wish you knew the joy and thrill it gives me to have you cum in my mouth and hear you groan in pleasure. I mean I enjoy you fucking, sliding in and out of me, but you’re puffing and huffing, working. When you’re lying back and I’m in control . . . . GOD! . . I just got wet thinking about it. We haven’t done the hiney nasty in nine years, I was hoping to save that for Jamaica.” She cooed, but she was obviously becoming distracted by other thoughts.

“Whoa, you’re supposed to hit your sexual peak around 40. You’ll have screwed me freakin’ silly to death by then.” Joe said, incredulous at her candid talk of sex.

“Yeah, but what a way to go though, huh? I’ll just find you a good heart and a dick doctor to be sure you’re in shape for me if I get any hornier.” She said oddly deadpan and then turned a bit ashen.
 
Selena suddenly got to a real nervous point, like she had been holding it back, hiding it, shifting from one foot to another while she held Joe close then looked into his eyes and then away, like she was searching for another focal point before her eyes burst forward with tears and she held her face close to Joe’s shoulder sobbing, not wanting to bawl out loud, though she was ready to.

“If that child is ours, it was conceived in our love we were robbed by the terrorists, robbed by that fucking bastard who raped me and everyone who took part in the covering up. Our child!! Our baby! Stolen from us!” She managed to blurt out before she started bawling hard into Joe’s shoulder.


Joe enveloped her in his arms and snuggled his face as close to hers as he could.

“Essy, Essy, my dear Selena. IF that is our baby, she is now a grown up little girl with loving parents. We should be thankful for that. It hurts, God it hurts, to think that there maybe someone out there that is the product of our love that we can never know. But if some had their way it would have been aborted and we might not ever know about any of this. We can make the best of this, my sweets. Just think of what a miracle she is. If we want to devote our lives to a child we can try to have another. As long as I’m with you I’ll be happy, I promise.” He said trying to comfort her.

“No, no, we shouldn’t try to bring in a child now.” She sobbed, “God, you’ll be 72 and I’ll be 50 when he or she goes off to college, and that still has no guarantees we’ll be free to do as we want. It wouldn’t be fair to any of us; we’d be of three generations! Look at some of the bending we’ve had to do to fit together. No, no children now. I can face up to that. Just let me cry it out, Joey.” Selena said as she let her anguish out.

Joe truly did want whatever made Selena happy, even if that meant bringing a child into the world at this late age. Joe always dealt in reality and if that is what it took to make her happy and complete, he would go along because she made him so happy and complete. But she had bought into the retired bliss they had originally planned that would have made their lives complete. The nine year bite that was taken from their lives had made all of that hard to attain unless you subtracted the planned child. Living in 4 homes around the world was not a good formula for raising a well centered child. Well traveled, yes, but not a centered as you might want having a normal circle of friends and school mates.

Selena pulled away, and then looked back to Joe and kissed him quickly.

“I love you so much. I know whatever we do, we’ll be happy. I’m going to shower now.”

“I thought we were going to shower together?”

“Give me a little alone time. If your cock is in the shower with you I’ll just get distracted, not that it wouldn’t be fun, but we have all day. OK?” She said with a little pout.

Joe went to the bedroom and gathered a clean change of clothes and lay on the bed waiting for her to get out. He was disturbed to hear her crying in the shower, sobbing and talking to herself, but he knew this was her way with dealing with the disappointment she knew was looming all along since they began to discuss the future. In his mind he almost hoped she were pregnant right now so decisions would be made for them by God and fate.

In the shower Selena was about cried out. Her little dreams of frolicking with her little boy or little girl in the yard were all dashed, but somehow the disappointment was blunted a bit to know that she truly did have a child in the world, although she might never know her. She only hoped she was happy and well taken care of, which was why she wanted to see her and maybe help her and her family along. Selena knew thoughts like that were folly, because she never wanted to interfere, but knowing they could help soothed her somehow. As she dried she looked into the mirror and saw her swollen eyes. She went to the medicine closet and took out a chemical cold pack, wondering if it were any good after all the years past. As she broke the chemical pack inside with the ball of her hand she immediately felt the coolness emanating. She wrapped her hair, sat on the toilet, and sat back resting her head on the stack of towels on top of the tank. She put the cold pack over her eyes and tried to clear her mind.

Joe was worried about her state of mind, as she was taking so long, but he was half dozing when she opened the door to look for him.

“Come on sleepyhead, it’s your turn!” She said with a bright smile for Joe.

He was surprised to see her so refreshed and her outlook improved as he kissed her walking by her into the shower.

As he showered he continued to marvel at the turn of events in their lives. The merry-go-round didn’t seem to stop as he waited for normalcy to set in. He still hoped to spend the afternoon becoming familiar with his new investment software and equipment. He just began to relish the thought of “escape” with his financials Selena knocked on the door and called in to him, “I just did a pee stick, two of them to be sure, . . I am NOT pregnant now.”

“Good or bad, for what it’s worth, it’s good to know.” Joe said as she closed the door and went about getting dressed.

He wondered if she had taken into account that they just had copulative sex not much more than an hour ago, and that would never show yet. He made a mental note to have her do another “pee stick”, as she called them, in 2 weeks.

When Joe had gotten out of the shower he found Selena back in the media room and she was fiddling with the new communications tools and the computer. They had dual screens so he could see what she was doing and vice-versa. She was at the Wall Street Global Group site reading about each of the principles and the special dedication to her.
“You’re getting the bug, aren’t you?” Joe said with an approving smile.

“Yes and no, I’m not sure I would do it without you there every night. I never want to spend another night alone, without you. That’s a lot to ask of you and so unfair.” She said wistfully.

“What makes you think I WANT to spend a night away from you? I’ll go where ever you go, and if going back to work there is what you have to do, you should do it. I want you to be happy. How about if I check out the building where our old townhouse was? If we find a vacancy there we can give it a try.”

“That was a Gordon Phelan property wasn’t it?” Selena asked sadly.

“Mmmmm, might have been. Old Gordo deserved a better fate, not as lucky as us.” Joe said, unsure. “He did a few things for me then, it might have been his. God, Selena, you’re opening so many new doors in my mind and every door has an unanswered question. We should spend a day trying to find out what happened to who and tie up loose ends.”

“Well, here’s another, Lucy has written me a few times and will finally be getting to town this weekend. She’s avoided any reference I made to Jeromy, and she’s avoided actually talking to me on the phone. So, I’ve only done email with her, but I do know she’s a buyer with a big toy concern that has 300 stores.”

“Didn’t she work as an overnight stocker for a toy chain while in college, like in a district warehouse?” Joe thought aloud.

“Yes, she would pull the orders for the district and then deliver the local store and stock it, as I remember.”

“Toys huh?” Joe said, “I thought she was a bio major going for pre-med or mortuary school or something.”

“I honestly don’t remember. She was going back for a Masters in something. She talked about being a student as a career, for a laugh.”Selena said not wanting to admit that the 9 years left her fuzzy on a few details.

“Well, let’s plan when we go to Jamaica and then when we give Wall Street Global an answer. Before we do any of that we should go to New York and see everything first hand. Sit in your old office, see what a day is like, 2 or 3 if you want. Then we’ll stay in The City and get a feel for it all. We have so many people to see there, it’ll be fun.” Joe said, somewhat calling her bluff on everything.

“OK, I’ll call Ross Curran and arrange to be there on Monday morning. We’ll come home Thursday morning and see if we can’t get out of here by the following week to Jamaica. See if Joseph can get us in the Four Seasons and I’ll start working on contacts we need to make in The City.” She said without a stutter or hitch in her plans.

Joe was impressed that she really DID have a game plan for it all and he was willing to go right along with it. While she began to familiarize herself with current stock trends with the new computer and software, Joe hit the phones beginning to make the arrangements he promised her.

Although he had made some contact with old friends, this was the first opportunity to really reacquaint with special people like Joseph, who was now the Concierge at The Four Seasons. He wanted to get into a long involved conversation and Joe stopped him, “Joseph, you saw the press conference and read all of the stories and I really don’t want to relive this over and over. Just treat me the way we should be after not seeing each other for 9 years. Just let me ask, how is Shanna and your daughter Shannon?”

“Shanna and Shannon are fine and so are our 2 boys, Joey and Shane. We’re still in the same place, it’s a little small but so close to work makes it perfect.” Joseph said proudly.

“Congratulations on the boys, any plans for more?”

“Not right away, with Shannon plus the boys, 4 and 6, it’s a lot of work for Shanna, plus she has been stringing for a fashion column in the Times. Shannon is 10 now and can help her Mom out a lot, but . . . .”

“I understand. So do you think you can get us in our old suite for a few days?” He asked.

“I’ve been checking while we were talking and I think I can jockey a few people around that arrive Sunday as well, just let me check with the Rooms and Client facilitator.” Joseph said putting him on hold for a moment.

“No, no one requested your room specifically, so you’ll be all set. Dinner with us on Sunday night, for sure, OK?” Joseph said.

“Sounds good, just let me run it past Selena, she’s on her phone making New York plans as well. I’ll call you back, OK?”

“Sounds good, I’ve got to run. Work calls.” Joseph said as he clicked off the call. 

Joe immediately looked through his notes for the number he was to call at the State Department to put the wheels in motion for a quickie passport for Jamaica. He waited for Selena to get off her phone calls to give the news on Joseph and Shanna when his phone rang.

“Joe Johnson! This is Senator Merrill Jackson. I’m so glad you want to take advantage of our offer to get you your passports back for Jamaica. Please call me Jack, as my friends do, Merrill is so formal. I assume you want to do this quietly, I only ask that when you come home that we arrange a picture of me with you and your wife. It won’t have to say anything except that we cut some red tape to get your passports back, and leave it at that. The Postal Service will call you for updated passport photos. I’ll bet we can turn you around in 10 days or less.” Senator Jackson blathered, taking charge.

“Well, uh . . . . Jack! I guess I really don’t have anything else to ask you.”

“Well, it’s just that the Governor, Secretary of State and a few others want to use this for a photo op and promotional piece. I think, from what I saw, that you want to keep a low profile, and while I DID ask you for a photo, it’s more for my wall than anything. I’m not up for re-election for 4 years. I won’t ask you to shill for me, or even ask your affiliation, OK?” He said sincerely. 

“Fair enough! I’ll wait to hear from the Postal Service and follow up with your secretary if there are any problems.” Joe said.

“That’s a deal. Be well and good-bye for now.” The Senator said, hanging up.

Normalcy was creeping back into to the lives of Selena and Joe as they each broke from the shells that their ordeal had built around them.

Chapter 15 

Friday came and still no word from Philly on the DNA study using Joe’s file, but they had picked up the Blue Solstice and spent a good amount of time riding around, breaking it in. Joe took it on a few local low mountain trips running it through its paces, making sure he knew the handling and feel. As much as he hated to admit it, it felt like a German precision auto in many ways and he was quite satisfied. He was especially happy to know that when he and Selena changed cars she was going to get a dependable car that would serve her well in any situation. He was calling the car a short-vette or poor mans Vette when he first got it, but began to refer to it as his Blue Solstice or The Pontiac as he gained respect for it.

Saturday morning came and Selena began what was a normal Sunday Morning chore in the old days, laying out the travel cases for another week in New York. When 911 occurred they were, more or less, living in New York, but prior to that they were only there 4 or 5 nights a week, depending if they drove in Sunday night or Monday Morning. 

She was carefully folding some of her new unworn things as she prepared her attire for each day she planned to spend at Wall Street Global Group, when their home phone rang. Joe had been on the computer when the caller ID popped up on his screen.

“Essy, it’s Philly. Why don’t you come in here and we’ll speakerphone.” He called up the hall.

She was already on her way in, sensing this was “the call” and sat next to Joe intertwining her fingers with one of his hands as he clicked to answer.

“Hi Philly, we’re on speakerphone, so we’re both here.” Joe said answering.

“Hello, I hope you’re both doing well. I have the news you’ve been waiting on and you can decide if it’s good or bad news. The baby that Selena gave birth to was most definitely the product of both of you. There is no doubt.” Philly said as she left the words to hang for Joe and Selena to consume.

The silence was deafening to Philly who wondered how Selena would accept the news.

“Selena?” Philly asked after 20 or 30 seconds.

“I’m here,” she said with a flutter in her voice. “I sort of expected this to be the case. That night was so special and I felt so different the next morning. After your call the other day I spent some alone time to accept the fact this could be true and I recalled wanting to say something to Joe when he was driving me back to work that day, but obviously that opportunity never came.” She said while fixing her eyes to Joes before continuing.
“I’ve decided that this is a good thing for us in the fact it was something we wanted to happen, and it did. We would have wanted to raise our own child, but fate made that impossible for us then, and improbable for the future. Yet still, our love will live on somewhere in this girls life, hopefully.”

The line stayed cold for a few minutes as Philly swallowed Selena’s words and evaluated the tremendous progress she had made in her recovery. Before she spoke, Joe broke in.

“It’s reality, Phyll. We don’t think it would be fair to all three of us if we brought another child into the world now, but knowing she is out there makes a difference.”

“I could have called you yesterday with the news, but I did a little investigating for you. She is in a wonderful home with 2 parents married 15 years now. She’s very athletic, playing little league baseball, gymnastics and currently in an indoor girls soccer league. She’s an A+ student, jumped to the 5th grade. She is 8 years and almost 6 months old, born on Mother’s Day, May 12th 2002. Her adoptive mother ran a day care pre-school so she was essentially learning numbers and words with the other children. She did try to go to kindergarten, but complained she was in baby school. Deciding she was socially mature enough to handle it, she was placed in 1st grade at 5 years old, and then skipped 3rd grade because of her reading and writing skills. She is an 8 year old, in class with mostly 11 year olds, but she looks and acts mature enough that she goes un-noticed.” Philly said, as if reading.

“Where did you get this information from?” Joe asked while Selena beamed with pride, as her eyes got wet and she fought tears.

“She’s in a huge rural school district and I combed it for familiar names and I found a college roommate of mine. I had her ask an administrator and counselor if she knew of her and she gushed that she was “so special”. Now, you promised before that you wouldn’t try to find her and I’ll hold you to that.” Philly said before Selena qualified their promise.

“Well, we would like to see here, and I mean that in the literal sense, see her, and not interact with her. Her life sounds idyllic and I wouldn’t want to change that.  I’ve,  . . er . . . . . WE have come to terms with the fact that having our child in the world is still a testament to our love and that getting involved with her would serve no one any good. Philly, I think you’ve learned in the last couple weeks that we handle reality well once we’re together and serve our support systems. I really would like to see her. I know it would be both joyful and heartbreaking.”


“Let’s wait a few months until you’re situated in your life and your future and then explore a way to possibly see her. Now I want you both to promise me, and promise each other you won’t do anything stupid concerning this.” Philly said. “I’ve done a lot more than I should have on this and could get into some privacy issue violations. Do we all understand?”

“Yes, we’ll police each other if we have to.” Joe said as Selena kissed his hand.

“Please do, I’ve got enough shit raining on me here and I don’t need any legal problems to jeopardize my job.” Philly said as her voice broke.

“Is there anything we can help with? Now that we’re getting on our feet here we have a lot of resources at hand. Just know you can depend on us, you’ve been so great in getting us together.” Joe said, feeling concern.

Philly broke down and cried, regretting she let her emotions leak through.

 “Maybe I just need to talk to someone and get it off my chest. My husband left me and my life is a mess. I did something stupid a long time ago, I had an affair with an old boyfriend. It was so long ago that I thought I could get it off my chest, proving I had moved on from it since our marriage had flourished so much since then. I was wrong. He was devastated and walked out the door. He’s been back a few times to get things when I’m gone, but he won’t answer my calls and won’t answer his page at work. I want to stalk him and face him, but my job is so involved right now that I can’t. I’m in a partnered practice and I have commitments.”

“You definitely have to face him. Leave him a note at home where you know he’ll see it and pour your heart out, letting him know you can’t live like this, not knowing where he actually stands, since he won’t talk. Give him a time and place to meet and talk and see what happens. He has to know you still love him. Just word the proposal carefully, and good luck.” Selena said to the speakerphone as she stood and hugged Joe’s neck as she spoke.

“Selena may be right, he needs to know how you feel, and that you’re hurting. If he still loves you, and you know he does, he’ll want to come to your aid. Just be sure you give him a definite time and place.” Joe said.

“You’re talking about a long term marriage and relationship going down over a single, regrettable act. He has to face up to it now, just like you did when you admitted it. Remind him that you flourished as a couple even though the affair existed and he wasn’t aware of it. It was a flaw and we all have flaws. If your love for each other is true forgiveness is part of the whole package. You know there are happy couples who have an argument and let tempers flare, causing one of them to make a regrettable statement. One of them takes offense and walks out the door and ends the relationship, over a single word or phrase said in anger. Don’t let this happen to you. Save yourselves.” Selena added.

“I suppose that’s a good idea, and with the weekend coming we both may have more free time to meet. Thanks for your concern and I’ll talk to you both soon. Goodbye, you guys.” Philly said as she hung up.

Joe and Selena hugged as she sat on his lap in the computer chair. She kissed and sucked at his neck as she cried quietly, tears running down her face.

“The baby we always wanted happened, conceived in our love, and after all you went through she seems to have survived to be normal. I was afraid that all of the drugs and turmoil they put your body through would have produced a flawed baby. We are just as perfect as we thought.” Joe said with a sad chuckle as he hugged her tighter.

“I suppose that, if not this way, we would have no child. I just can’t accept her never knowing us, or us her.” Selena whispered through her ragged voice.

“She’ll be told she was adopted at one point, she’ll need that information to go through life. At some juncture in time we’ll have to let the parents know who we are and if she ever wants to seek us, we are willing to be found.” He told her as his eyes welled up and he rubbed her back to soothe the pain she felt right then.

“Do you suppose if the parents knew some of the circumstance of WHERE their baby came from and then saw our story, our pictures, that they might see the resemblance, because, they said she looked mature enough to pass as a 5th grade student. I suspect she has a lot of your features. If that’s the case, they know we are out there. I suppose that’s a wishful dream.” Joe said exhaling deeply, letting Selena fall back a little so he could face her nose to nose.

“We have to compose ourselves and get back to our task at hand.” He said as she nodded and hugged him once more before standing and walking back to her packing.

Joe watched the sway of her cute ass and felt a charge in his loins. 10 years ago he would have stood and acted on the jolt to his loins, but today he let it pass. He never loved her more than at this moment, but, proving his love was something they didn’t need to constantly show anymore. There were times and places when their ardor would overflow and the thought he had at that moment would come out of the vault to be cashed in.

“Joe?” She called out, “Do you think we can get a suit off the rack for you today to hold you until you see a tailor in New York?”

“I suppose.” He said dreading not having something made for him. “Hopefully no one will see me in department store rags.”

Life had restarted once again for Joe and Selena, their knowledge of what they learned that morning tucked away for another day.

The day of packing, shopping, studying the market, and making New York City arrangements ended early for them. While Joe caught the sports scores Selena got up to shower and get ready for bed. He decided that riding through the mountains with the top down had left him a bit gritty as well and he walked into the bedroom just as she came out of the bathroom door with a towel wrapped around her.

“No hugs for your greasy face and body, I was filthy from the top down ride. I’ll be in bed, I’m so tired.” She said as she made a cross with her fingers, as if to shoo a vampire away.

Joe chuckled and went in and stripped and washed himself top to bottom as well and longed for a long restful sleep for the early start in the morning. He found a pair of boxers on his side of the nightclothes pantry and took a towel to finish drying his hair as he opened the door to go to the bedroom. There, Selena was a sight curled up on the bed as if waiting for Joe to pull up the sheet for them. She had fallen asleep and her sheer white teddy had ridden up to show the bare bottom he so longed to look at.

Once again he felt the familiar tingle in his loins of wanting to make love to her, taste her, and feel her body next to his, but he let the urge pass. He finished drying his hair went to her mirror and combed it before taking the sheet and, in one motion, slid into bed pulling the sheet over both of them. He closed his eyes and stretched his whole body from the tips of his pointing toes to his inter-twined fingers behind his head. He held the stretch as long as he could and just as he was about to let his rigid muscles relax he felt the weight of Selena upon his chest as she laid her head and upper body upon his as she rest her head just over his heart. He felt the warmth of her cheek there framed by the coolness of her just dried hair.

“I love you, Joe. You make me feel so complete. You help me understand and accept the things this world hurls at us when I can see no answer or reason. You hurt with me, you joy with me. We really are one. I’m so glad you’re my husband.” She whispered through a breath Joe knew was on the verge of tears.

He exhaled a deep cleansing breath from his stretch and put his hand on her head as he felt a warm tear fall to rest on his skin. He stretched his other arm to lay a hand on the rise of her bottom.

“You know that I could say the same to you, you are the rest of me and I love you more than words can say.” He told her as his voice broke as well.

She clenched him hard to herself as if someone might try to take him away.

“I want to make love to you with my hands and my mouth, and for you to do the same to me. I know you’re tired and hope you don’t think that’s too selfish.” She said sincerely.

“I would spend my dying breath loving you, if I had to.”

“Keep that a long way off, we have so much to enjoy in our lives together and we’ve been so close to our mortality, and that scared me, thinking I might never get to make love to you again.” She said as she rose back to her knees and shifted her body so she could face his tenting boxers.

“I’ve had you in my mouth so many times and each time is more exciting than the last. The velvet feel of the tip on my tongue and the pulse of your heart on the big vein against my tongue when I close my mouth over you, THAT’S so exciting. You taste so delicious and masculine, I can’t wait for you to take these off.” She said as she reached through the front slash and pulled him out and covered the tip with her lips and tongue.

“Mmmm, there is no taste in the world like you. It flares my nostrils when I inhale and taste you, and what it does to my pussy you’ll taste later. Let me get these off you.” Selena purred as she clenched the waist band and encouraged him to raise his ass up so she could remove shorts.

“Oooohh, your balls look so full, you only had me yesterday. Have you been staring at my ass again? I know it makes your cock jump when I walk away, that’s my stealth tease. I know I don’t even have to try.” She said as she filled her hands with their weighty cum treasure and she pushed her mouth over him again, lightly working her tongue and jaw as she manipulated the creamy feel of his sack.

“I know how sexy you are, and I know how you look outside of those clothes. But, when it’s covered and I see your form, I just go crazy.” Joe groaned as he arched his back in shudder.

“Really, what are you going to do when I swing my leg over and put my ass in your face?” She whispered before she sunk her mouth over him and did just that in a somewhat crab-walk. 

The ass he so admired was now presented before his eyes close up. The smooth curvature of the moons of her bottom ran deep into the usual pantied mystery of what lay in between, the fleshy mound on which her visually percepted virginal vagina was mounted. The thick lips were just blossoming as she spread herself over his face. A few swipes of his tongue would turn what looked like that of a young girl to a dewy coral set of lips that led to a mouth hungry to be probed by a man’s penis. A clear drop of woman fluid hung at the hairless upper juncture where her clitoris lay. He snaked his tongue to capture it and touched the electrical field surrounding that magic button and he felt her mouth thrust down hard over his penis. Hungry for more of the same he swiped his tongue back again
and drilled hard on her sex nerve.

She pulled her mouth off of him and gripped his wet cock using her other hand to bring a ball from his sack to her lips as she gently stroked him. The shiver that went through him forced his face up a bit, his tongue tip following the groove of her slit and skidding into her asshole as he instantly recognized the bittersweet flavor. He mashed the flat of his tongue to it as she lifted her head to consume the head of his dick, before he recoiled his tongue and drove its tip to its wrinkled center. The intrusion sent her mouth over him hard, momentarily past the opening of her throat causing her to choke and give him up and call out, 
 “Oh Joe fuck me in my hiney. Let me feel you there again.”

Joe didn’t hesitate from his licking, only to say, “I thought you wanted to save it for Jamaica.” 

She continued to pump her mouth over him, slowing as she thought his words over. She let him free and arched her back away from his mouth. 

“You’re right, but push me over. I’ve got a doozie in the chamber.” She knowing she had been so close to cumming but not getting it yet.

Joe pulled her back to his face and drove his tongue to her clit and licked like he was mad at it, as she suckled the head of his cock and she stroked him. Then he drove his middle finger of his left hand abruptly up her little poop-chute causing her to stun loudly around his cock before pushing her mouth fully over him, into her throat.

As he fucked his finger in and out of her spit slickened hiney she began to rock her face over him in earnest. He knew he couldn’t last long and sucked hard at her clit as he punched at her little hole. Just as he began to spurt into her mouth she began her orgasm, squeezing his finger tight in her ass and pushing her pussy hard to his face. She screamed around his cock as she swallowed his sex juice, at last satisfied, stopping only when she became exhausted. She licked lightly at his balls before falling over beside him, his middle finger slurping from her.

When they both caught their breath she got up and threw Joe her damp hair towel to clean himself and she went to the bidet to rinse and wipe herself, coming back to cuddle and go to sleep.

“Jamaica should be interesting, your finger felt like a rolling pin in there.” She said with a giggle and they quickly dozed off exhausted.

When the local radio news gently awoke the lovers in the morning it was the first time they truly felt like life had returned after the nine year hiccough. They were going to shower and get a quick coffee and drive to New York City, as they had dozens of times before. Joe would check in to the Four Seasons after dropping Selena off at Wall Street Global offices. Although this would be a day of reacquainting and renewing old relationships, a process Joe had grown to revile, he was excited. He hated having to repeat all of the things he had explained over and over again, but he felt with his friends in The City there would be less of that.

New York was Joe’s town. He liked the fast life and the fact he could afford to live it. He enjoyed the finer things in life that were so readily available there. There was a time when he enjoyed the women of New York and their fast style where he grew his sexual confidence that flowed from his personality. Although he loved to be flirted with, and to flirt back, there was no question where his heart laid. Selena was the true love of his life and no one could ever step into that path to block him. Even women that thought they had his heart and could win him forever, timidly backed away and either went off smitten or became a trusted friend and confidant. Selena has accepted all of his female friends because she knew she could trust him after doubting him so often.

After a morning hug and kiss in bed they had said little to each other as she went about the business of getting ready and Joe packed the car. When they finally met in the kitchen for coffee their looks to each other were smirky and smoldering remembering the night before. What had began as tender oral lovemaking, ended a bit kinky and rough. Had they been writing a book about their lovemaking, last night would have been a whole chapter. It would have been called Naughty Satisfaction and Appreciation. 

Selena felt no shame for how much she appreciated and craved sexual contact with her husband. Joe had no misgivings either and worried if he might be able to keep up with her as years passed. He recalled the marathon bouts in their Jamaican visit when they first wantonly opened up their wild sexuality. He had told her then that days and nights like that, 5 orgasms for him and countless for her in a 18-24 hour period, only happen a few times in your life and you live off of them forever. He remembered at least 4 or 5 of those bouts already and knew they were in store for quite a few more. As sexual as she was, you couldn’t help but wonder if those who saw her in public thought of her as a kindergarten teacher or bank teller. Her look was so sweet, always dressing tastefully, while still hinting at the perfect body her clothes hid. The topper, of course, was her intelligence and gentle heart that fulfilled the package for him. He called himself lucky for not being able to remember the nine years they were apart.

As they zoomed south on the New York Thruway to The City they spoke little, except for glances back and forth that smoldered sex and passion. Certainly they both replayed the evening in their minds and not until they had to make a comfort stop did they begin to speak. Once back in the car they spoke of how they planned the day and what they might do in the evening.

“I know we have to placate some friends and go through the hugs and tears routine, not that I won’t be happy to see them, but I just want to go back to normal.” Selena said.

“It sounds silly, but we don’t understand how astonishing we are. You are going to have a very trying day with everyone at work. I suspect you’ll be pretty well emotionally drained by tonight; I was going to suggest Joe and Shanna come over to our suite. I still feel like my job is to protect you somewhat from getting too stressed out and I’m seeing too much emotion for one day.” Joe said reaching out for her hand.

“That would be nice, and have dinner sent up?” She said, brightening at the prospect. 

Before Joe could answer her, Selena’s cell phone lit up and the Blue Tooth App in the dash lit, displaying Wall Street Global Group as the caller. She opened the speakerphone.

“Good Morning Selena, this is Ross. I suspect you are on your way in and I have to warn you of a situation. There are about 5 camera crews waiting for you to arrive outside. We’ve called the Police to be sure that traffic can still move on the street, but I wanted to warn you.”

“Oh God! Someone must have tipped them, but I won’t let them stop me. We should be there within 40-45 minutes. I don’t know what they think they’re going to see and I have no intention of speaking with anyone. I’m so sorry for causing this fuss.” She said as she looked to Joe.

“You needn’t apologize for anything my dear. Maybe we’ll release a statement later that will satisfy them. As long as you’re sure you want to run this gauntlet, we will support you to the fullest.” He assured her.

“After all I’ve been through, I can handle this. See you soon.” She told him in a determined tone.

Although Joe could pay only 75% attention to the conversation he was quite aware of what was going on. Her closing comment to Ross told him that she WAS ready for all of this and her steeled determination of any task at hand was not softened or tarnished by the nine year ordeal.

“I guess this means most definitely, that if Shanna and Joe can’t make it to our suite, we’ll have to wait until tomorrow to meet them. I don’t want to put you through having reporters follow us around.” Joe said as he put his hand on her knee and squeezed.

“How long will this go on? I don’t want to be a celebrity, at least not for this. When I was going to be a news reader I sort of liked the idea that I might be recognized, you know like I was for doing WSG statements. I knew most of the people who recognized me were investor types, not sensationalists.” Selena said with a sigh.

“Hmmm, I wonder if we agreed to do ONE, and just one, face to face interview for TV or newspaper, if they would all go away.” Joe wondered aloud.

“I doubt it because we have to involve the hospital too much and if they go asking questions, . . .  the rape and our baby may come up. We have to protect our child even if we don’t know her.” Selena said stifling a tear.

Thoughts of her missed motherhood kept Selena quiet and pensive for the rest of the trip. Once they got into Manhattan proper she began to gather her things and had her purse and brief in her hand. As Joe turned the corner and saw the police cars and the small mob of press he reached over for her hand.

“You sure you’re ready for this?” He asked.

She looked at him with a face of determination he knew all too well, she was in The Zone.

“Ready! I was going to walk back to the hotel, but send a car; they’ll look for this one. I’ll call you.” She said as she leaned over and kissed him as he stopped.

She slipped out the door and walked like a statesman into the office while flashes went off and people threw questions out with microphones waving in the air. She got to the top of the stairs and the door opened. She took one step in and turned to face the media.

“I’d like to thank you in the future for our privacy. I do not now, nor will I ever have any comment concerning 911. Please let us carry on as normal.” She bellowed, in a huge booming voice few have heard, before she let the door shut behind her.

Joe smiled and looked up to see a NYC policeman blocking a man with a recorder in his hand from stepping into the street. Joe nodded approval to him and pulled away.

Turnover at the grandiose Four Seasons edifice in Manhattan was great enough over the nine years he was away that he was able to leave his car to park and go through the lobby and check in without having been recognized. Only when he got to his room did the phone begin to ring as word got out he was back. The head of Room Staff, Maitre D’, and head Bellman all called to wish him well. All were people who were familiar to him in other positions who had moved up the ladder. Then a knock came to the door that he figured was his luggage, but instead his dear friend Joseph stood, tears streaming down his face as he stepped in and hugged his old friend.

“My friend the miracle. Wishes do come true.” He said as they both stood and cried.

After a few moments to calm himself Joseph stood back, “Shanna says asking you over for dinner is an imposition on you both after such a day. She wants to have dinner sent in here, just the 4 of us.  We can sit and catch up. When we go I’ll take your car and put in my alley garage. I haven’t rented it for a car since you left before. As long as this car is no more than 18 inches longer than the Roadster, you’re in. I’ve only rented it for storage to a bottle and can collector, and he left 2 months ago.”

“THAT would be awesome, Selena suggested on the way that she didn’t want to ferry out tonight. She knew it would be a trying day.”

“Alright my dear friend, expect us around 7. No need to dress, just lounge clothes. We’ll take care of dinner and everything, non-negotiable.” Joseph said putting palm over palm and spreading them in a clearing motion.

“Uh . . . OK! I won’t argue. Selena will enjoy this, she’s so looking forward to seeing you both.”

“I’ve got to get back to the podium, I’m sure people are waiting, I’ve only got 3 on and there’s a couple large groups here.” Joseph said shaking Joe’s hand again and quickly leaving.

Joe worried how Selena was doing, but he needn’t. From the moment she walked in the door at Wall Street Global Group she was showered with well-wishes and hugs from everyone.

When Deneigh got up from her desk and hugged her she kissed Selena’s cheek saying “I never realized how much I had grown to depend on your thoughts, opinions, and guidance. You’ve been my inspiration on getting to my goal here.”

With teary eyes she took Deneigh’s shoulders in hand and held her so she could look at her eye to eye. “I know you are so close, we’ll get you that seat. I’m here for you.”

When Selena turned J. Trace Fountain stood waiting with welled eyes and open arms.

“What hath God wrought?” He said emotionally, repeating Samuel Morse’ words tapped into the first electronic media communication device.

“While I never wanted to believe you were lost that day, I had faced the fact I would never see you, and here you are. You’ve bolstered my faith in God. If we hadn’t realized it when you were here, after we got together after the attacks we realized how much we missed having a younger perspective, especially from someone as sensible and astute as you.”

Selena blushed amongst her tears at his words, and as she met with each of the other partners the same words and sentiments were passed along. She never felt so welcome, so much a part of anything this special in all of her life. After a coffee and catching up session in the Great Room Ross Curran called an end to their “break” and took Selena into his office for a private meeting. He couldn’t wait to share his thoughts with her.

“Just being here today you have breathed new life into all of us. I hope that doesn’t sound silly, but your young perspective, your glow, and your fresh thoughts will revitalize all of us. I know I spoke to you before about trying to push Deneigh over the hump in her quest to become a partner. If can just teach her how to focus she will be there. I think her many years on the phones and at the door have caused her to multi-task away from the task at hand too much. She has her way of doing things and when she is out here on the floor, her mind is still out there in reception. Everything that goes on outside of the offices and the Great Room is set up by her and done her way. When she came in she was a task master at making things work for her and she did an incredible job. She was the innovator of everything we do and how we do it, outside of the financial realm. Her marks and professor recommendations have reached a great level where she should be able to work into our system, but she always side-tracks trying to make everything else work as she would have it. We’ve hired people to take her spot, but they just don’t get the system. Our other partner, Ms Jamaica Brown, has not cut the muster as we expected. She is having a tough time and I’ve worried if we just expected her to be you. She is very smart, but her intuitiveness totally lacks confidence, hard time making decisions and calling them final. She seems distracted by the lifestyle she is choosing, you know New York can be very tempting if you let it in. Small tastes are fine, but to swallow it whole takes money, new morals and self control. I doubt she has any of the 3. She’s been through 2 partners votes and was 0-5 each time. So much potential but no one wants to commit to her, we may have to cut ties and bite that bullet. A third 0-5 vote would void her contract anyway and at the first of the year we can take that vote .”

“She’s under contract for the same 5 years as I had, correct?” She wondered.

“That was the standard drawn up by the partners for collegian incentives, but we would have offered you 10 more at the end of 2, had you been here. But if she can’t become partner in 2 years, she never will.” Ross added.

“If she is under contract, why not move her to Deneigh’s job? Have Deneigh train her and then move Deneigh out of that job totally. Have Deneigh sit in with the partners like both Slim and I did until she’s ready for an office.” Selena suggested.

Ross scribbled quickly on his yellow pad and nodded to her. “I think I’ll bring that up to the partners privately.”

Ross Curran sat back in his chair and habitually looked up at the big board and quickly noted something he gleaned from the stock action before putting his hands together as one might devoutly pray and then rested his chin on the tips of his middle fingers, looking directly at Selena.

“So what of you? You would be, . . SO welcome back here. I know you’ve literally been through hell and are way past the 5 year schedule you and your husband had put on “retirement”. Have those plans changed? Do your creative juices still flow, or is the fire out?”

“Today is my first day of trying to figure that out, Ross. Just being here assures me that I still have the bug and really want to come back. However, my husband is 52 and I want to enjoy all the time I can with him. We’re going to go to Jamaica again and think this out. That was where we really got free of the world and put everything in perspective. We have three homes we’ve never physically seen and want to get to know, so I would like a couple months to give you a decision. I can tell you that I’m leaning heavily on returning to finish 5 years in house. I know you’ve released me from that commitment, but doing that would make me feel fulfilled, I think. My Joe will go with whatever I want, almost to a fault. So I really have to see how he “really” feels about it.”

“We support any decision you make.” Ross assured her.

“So where is this Ms. Browne we have spoken of?” Selena asked.

“She has a meeting with her landlord this morning in an effort to keep her apartment. Her shelter stipend ended last month and she is having a hard time making the rent. She makes enough money to live in the suburbs, not Manhattan. But, she likes the New York night life a bit too much.”

“Could the fact she is not centered be her entire problem?”

“I hate to say this, but, we have made a mistake with her. We have all, Deneigh included, taken her under our wing at one time or another to show her what she can become, what she can make for herself, what a gift she has. It pains me to come to the conclusion that she feels like getting here was the end of her journey and she could, like I hear my grand-daughter say, skate.” Ross said disgusted with the whole situation. 

“Remember when you would sit with each of us and then take the reins yourself in your own office eventually?” He asked as she nodded. “Well she never even seemed to want to pick up the string. She sits in there and comes out for our meetings and nods agreement with most everything, never offering anything substantial.
 

“Where is she from and what can she do if you drop her and relief her from her contract?”

“She’s from Washington State and appears to live paycheck to paycheck. She really has no savings or any finances to fall back on. She would buy her seat here on her percentages, but as the 0-5 votes show, no one wants to commit. I’m sure she translates her salary to Washington State standards, but 75K in New York is just NOT a lot of money if live in the city. We were paying her $2000 a month for living stipend and she settled into a $2400 a month place. Now, that’s more than half her take home each month. She went to Reed Institute in Oregon, a stuffy no-nonsense campus that turns out PhD’s like McDonalds does hamburgers. Her professors called her all of the right things with an emphasis on being a very disciplined student. I don’t know much about recreational drugs, but if they can change a person’s outlook, that may be an answer. But she doesn’t show any signs of that here, it’s just a thought I have.”

“Does she realize that you are thinking of terminating her, that she may lose her job?”

“She has been warned, . . and I see by her light, she is in.” as Ross checked the  In/Out board. “Yes, she’s been warned but seems to think her contract protects her.”

Selena stood and said “Please introduce me and leave me with her a few minutes. OK?”

“Maybe you can reach her, or even offer her the Deneigh switchover option we talked about. Unless something happens positively with her, we plan to terminate her at the start of the New Year after the third vote.” Ross said.

Selena was surprised when Ross opened the door to Jamaica Brown’s office. She expected a dowdy type, an overwhelmed country girl. Jamaica was 4 foot 9 inches and maybe 90 pounds, with reddish hair, and a cute well proportioned figure. She looked every bit the professional they thought they were getting, but she obviously had wild oats to sow and New York was just the place to help her along. She dressed quite fashionable accenting her bust line, flared hips, and round full bottom. She may have been just over the “office” line for dress code.

Ross introduced her and told Jamaica that Selena would spend a lot of time with her over the next few days. They exchanged small talk for a few moments, comparing education and schools, then Ross excused both he and Selena, telling Ms Brown to “carry on”.

Ross stood outside Ms. Brown’s office for a moment looking to Selena for a reaction and then motioned her to the far end of the Great Room.

“First impression?” He asked.

“She seemed nice, professional, but her dress is a bit too, . . . umm, . . “sexy” would be the word. Is that how she always dresses?” Selena wondered as she tried to shake off her first impression of poor attitude. 

“For the most part. She’s very stylish, but I think a bit too . . “sexy” as well. There is a difference between attractive and provocative. So let me tell you my thoughts; you work with her, feel her out, and see if she is really serious. If she thinks she needs the break we can swap her out with Deneigh and see if Deneigh really can handle it. Ms. Brown may think her 5 year contract is unbreakable, but if she can’t get one partner to vote her a share after 3 votes, her contract voids. Of course, she can also be just let go for performance failure, but she would still have to live by the exclusivity clause in her contract. We can’t wait much longer, none of us are getting any younger, and that’s why we need you back here so desperately. I had hoped not to use that tact with you, but John and Trace want to cut their hours, well “days” to be precise. They would like 3 or 4 days a week. With Slim, myself, Deneigh, or Ms. Brown, and you, plus one of them we still have 5. I had hoped we could show 6 or 7 by now and we are failing our customers. None of us seem to know how to approach her about this.” Ross said in a bit of desperation.

Selena looked at him and took his hand in hers saying, “I guess I’ve  known  it all along, I WILL come back for at least enough time for us to get where you’re comfortable with the presentation. I will need about a month before I come back, but I’m here for the next few days. With your permission I will lay it on the line to Jamaica and let her know that the third vote can take place at the first of the year and she will be done. But, if she’s not doing the job and shows no effort to improve, we can just can her today without wasting any more time or money. Plus, I hope she’s aware that she can’t work in the financial industry until her 5 years is up. I might be the right person for this job because when I look at her I see the girls who used to try and pick up my husband, the little gold diggers! If she doesn’t want to work for the goals she was schooled for I will submit to you that we do fire her. If she thinks the contract protects her she is wrong. Joe had his legal guy go over it when I started and we hold ALL the cards. She works at your behest, basically. Right now my blood is boiling, so I’ll wait a few minutes before I go back in to see her.”  Selena said with uncharacteristic anger.

She closed the door with a swift pull before pushing it back open. “Ross, am I still listed as a co-signer if we have to prepare a check for her?”

“Umm, YES, as soon as we knew you were, . . um back, . . . we uhh, had to. You ARE a partner. Before you go that far, be sure, but I’ll go with anything you decide.”

She was mad because these men of Wall Street Global who had taken her in and shown her so much confidence were now being taken advantage of by what she considered a lazy tart. She immediately knew why Slim hadn’t stepped in; he feared being taken in by her. How could he be so weak? She thought to herself.   

Suddenly, she felt as if SHE were the head of this prestigious group. They knew not how to handle this situation and were afraid to face it head on. Selena had fought through more than this in her 9 years of mental exile, she could handle this. She excused herself from Ross and went to Slim’s office and knocked before letting herself in.

“Slim, how could you not step in and straighten this Brown girl out. You know she’s fucking off and you’ve let it happen. I thought a lot more of you than this, what are you afraid of?” She said shooting right from the hip, catching him off guard.

Slim’s first reaction was to defend himself strongly, but before he could utter a word in strong protest he saw the resolve in Selena’s face and fell back in his chair.

“For the first time in my life I’ve got a great relationship and marriage with Shelly. I’m a bad boy turned good and Jamaica threatens that. She’s a tease and tries to subjugate you by a stealth sexual promise to use for leverage later. If it’s her word against mine, my past screws me. I will not sit alone with her in any office.” He said sadly. 

Selena exhaled deeply and let her steeled demeanor drop out of her planned tact with Slim.

“If you want to admit that you’re that weak with an aggressive young woman for the sake of your relationship I’m not going to badger you anymore. I’m just going to take care of this myself. I’m gone from here 9 goddam years, my memory nearly fucking erased, and come back to find you’ve let some nipple showing, tight pants, tart, that we’ve educated, no less, do as she pleases without contributing anything. I still have a seat on this team and will not let it continue another day.”

Selena stormed out and went to Deneigh’s desk and asked for a company check. She signed it and asked her to prepare it as Jamaica Browns final check, paying her for the rest of the month. 
“Deneigh, this is confidential, and NO ONE is to hear of it unless I call you and release that check. Then Ross, er, Mr. Curran will countersign sign it. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?” She said forcefully as Deneigh nodded. If you don’t hear from me by closing, tear up the check and it’s the last we’ve spoke of it.

Deneigh flashed an OK sign and zipped her lip

Deneigh had only seen Selena so forceful, but for a very few occasions. But she was downright loaded for bear and Deneigh was convinced she meant every word and shouldn’t ask any more questions and just do as she was told. One of the hard and fast rules of her position was tight lipped confidentiality; she held that close to her vest, as always.

With that Selena turned on her heel and went out the door, uncharacteristically slamming it. She took 3 steps towards Jamaica Brown’s office door and stopped to inventory herself.
“Am I really doing this?” She thought to herself. “Was I just here a 2 hours ago kissing and hugging my ex-work team who welcomed me back from the brink of death, only to have to go and ostensibly rip-out or cure a cancer among the team because political correctness has neutered everyone?.......................YES, I will do this, I have nothing to lose and everything to gain.”

She went past the table in the great hall to the office simply labeled “Brown”. She knocked and let herself in without waiting to be invited.

“Oh good! So you’re going to work with me?” Jamaica said as she half stood to greet her.

Selena went to the desk and picked up the 2 remotes and switched off both monitors and reached under her computer to turn off the screen on that as well. The room sat eerily silent for a moment before Selena spoke.

“Get a yellow pad; there are a few notes you’ll have to take.” Selena said as she looked for Jamaica to as she asked.

Seeing a one second hesitation, Selena slammed her open hand on the desk and said firmly, “NOW!”

Ms. Brown opened her drawer and took out the pad Selena requested and picked up a pen and looked down ready to scribble down whatever she asked.

“Look at ME! I want you to see me say these things before you write them down! First, I want you to be aware that you are on the brink of losing your job here. Besides, you need only one more zero vote and you’re done anyway. Don’t think there is anything you can do to change that except work hard. I’m not going to accuse you of trying to ply any partner with a favor for a vote, but be assured it won’t happen. If we fire you from your job, you will not be released from your contract and your contract says that you cannot work in the financial industry until the end of your five year commitment, or pay back our investment in your education. Be aware that you are not here in New York to party, but to work. A smart woman would live frugally, as cheaply as possible until you became vested. You would arrive at work each day fresh and on time.

When you arrive you’re expected to dress professionally, but fashionably. Wear real bras, not sleeping or jogging bras. No one is interested in your nipples, nor your cleavage, stay buttoned. Pant suits are fine, but a woman wears a dress or a skirt with a smart top. Nothing clingy to show the crack of your butt. You’re not going to get the respect of the rest of the group any other way. You may now write down the salient points from my first tirade.”

“Where does all this vitriol come from?” She asked defensively.

“It comes from the fact that I am a partner in this company and you have, so far, stolen from me and all the other partners. You have nearly wasted an education from Reed, probably one of the hardest schools in the country to get in. We PAID for that education and you proved through your marks and reports from counselors and professors that you were worthy. Now you’ve gotten to New York and think your work is over. NO! It’s just begun! You have to work your ass off to make it here and so far you are failing, all because you are lazy. L –A – Z – Y ! Party time does not start until you’ve established yourself. I’m sorry if my prejudgment is wrong, but I think you’re more worried about your own pleasures than you are your job, this organization and what we do. If you misunderstood anything while we were paying for your education and you signed commitments, you should have read the contracts.” She continued to rail.

“You weren’t even here when I was recruited!” Jamaica Brown said as if to defend herself.

“My money was, my partnership was here, and those people who created this think tank and built the list of subscribers were here. I am one of them!! . . . and you could be as well, but you better get off your lazy little ass and get to work!” Selena fired back.

“I find your tone to . . . . .” Jamaica started to say before Selena shot back.

“If you want politically correct you’re dealing with the wrong person. I’m pissed off and you’re going to know about it. I’m telling you all of the things that have been said about you behind closed doors, not wanting to hurt your feelings. I don’t care about your feelings. I care about this operation flourishing into the rest of the 21st century and you have the talent to help drive it. These men aren’t going to live forever and they have a legacy to protect, but before me they never had to deal with a woman and they still pussyfoot around a bit. I don’t. You can shake your boobs, show your cleavage, accent your nipples, wear thongs, and make your ass stick out all you want for me, I don’t care, and I don’t think that’s appropriate for this type of business or ANY professional office. Dress and act accordingly, work hard, and you will find yourself progressing into a career where you can make a lot of money, get public and social recognition as a leader in the field. OR, you peddle yourself as whatever you’ve tried so far. It ends today and you can decide from what side of the door where that end begins and something new starts. Now, I’m almost hoarse and I want you to sit and write the salient points of all you’re heard from me. Read them back to me and if you agree to join our group as a contributing member, come back here tomorrow and begin,  . . . or stay on the other side of the door. The choice is yours.” Selena said as she forcefully put her pointed finger to the yellow pad and sat to watch her write or walk out the door.

“Are you threatening my job right now?” Jamaica asked.

“Your final check is cut and dated today waiting for a signature. If that’s a threat, . . YES!”

Chapter 16 

The refreshing waters from the shower washed over Selena as she stood in the roomy stall and thanked God that the day was over. Her afternoon in Jamaica Browne’s office had tried and tested her resolve to complete her commitment to Wall Street Global Group and to be sure that when she left she would be of clear conscience that she did her best to make sure it was a better place for her being there.

“Damn her, damn her!!” She thought as she wondered what would have happened if she hadn’t challenged her as she did this day. What made her day was the fact that she thought she may have ignited Jamaica’s fire again. Throughout the afternoon Ms. Browne 
broke down and cried 3 times confessing her personal sins of indulgence where she put her personal life ahead of and at the expense of her job. When confronted with her tardiness she admitted to being hung-over, or waking up in a strange bed and having to go to her own place to change.

Life in the big city suited her appetite for the fast life as it had consumed many young girls. She knew it was putting her on a path of a careening runaway wagon down Nob Hill and she didn’t know how to stop.

Selena comforted her and told her how hard it was to live in Manhattan and maintain a laid back lifestyle. She needed to get out of the city at the end of each day. She was 2 months into a new lease that she herself had to pay and was short already, now that her stipend had expired. A pulled string had gotten her the apartment through WSGG and a pulled string would get her out of the lease that she was sure had a waiting list, being Manhattan.

She hadn’t enjoyed being such a hard-ass, so when she was able to comfort her she felt better. Then, she made a call to Joe to see if he could find her something where she could train or subway in from the suburbs. He may have been 9 years removed, but he still had connections.  By the end of the afternoon he had her in a quiet newly furnished little place on Purchase Street in Rye, NY. It would be an hour or less train to the office, giving her time to look at the Wall Street Journal or newspaper. She need only visit it to finalize her deal. Selena explained about “structure” in her life, if she was going to make it in the world of investing and leading investors.
 
Where at first she seemed ready to fight with Selena about her work ethic and position, she left a determined young woman yearning to get her life on track. It was easy for an impressionable, naïve, good-looking, young lady to be taken in by the seemed glamour of easy gratification from money, booze, sex, and recreational drugs. The verbal slap in the face from Selena was just what she needed. She only hoped the “sting” would last long enough to let her see where the changes would make her a better person.

Joe had been napping in front of the TV when she got back to their Four Seasons suite and rather than disturb him, she snuck off to the shower. Now, in only a silk robe and a towel wrapped around her hair, she went to the leather recliner and squat down to kiss him of the cheek.

Joe startled and took a moment to get his bearings as to where he was, but then looked up for the fresh soapy smell he had inhaled.

“Oh, you’re back! God, I must have been out like a rock not to have heard you. I’m glad we set up the car for you.” He mumbled as he stretched and got to his feet.

Selena went into his arms and held him tightly, nuzzling his neck before arching her head back to face him eye to eye.

“They’ve got me. I have to finish up there. I’m sorry if that disappoints you, but we have too much investment there to not be involved first hand. Had I not stepped in today they were willing to let her flail until the January partners vote and then dismiss her, eating what would amount to 600K and an empty partners chair. John Branniff and Trace both want to cut their days down and if they can’t, they may retire completely. As it is, “The Six” may end up me, Slim, Ross, Deneigh, Jamaica, and an amalgam of John and Trace.
Deneigh’s ass is the next I’m going to kick. I think she has to be given an ultimatum of being ready to step into a partners chair or leave. Her “mother hen” tendencies won’t allow her let go of the power she can wield from her desk where she has developed the procedures and systems that run everything.” Selena babbled on as if to defend her snap decision to go back and stay.

She paused for his reaction to her words, but before she reacted she remembered another point she had to ask him about.

“And HOW did you find her an apartment so fast? That was perfect and you called back in 10 minutes!”

“I was on the phone with Tucker Mullan, the realtor who bought out Gordon Phelan’s accounts and properties at the time and he was just listing it for the owner. It’s a 4 unit house and the landlord lives next door. He prefers city commuters with no kids. He has a hard time interviewing tenants because he sort of discriminates like that. That said, our apartment building went condo and their all sold, except two. As you know, Fox has studios across the street and they keep these two available for talent that comes to town. We talked with the production manager, Alexis Konsantakis, who knows you, and she will sublet to us for a year and see how it works out. She also says that you should come over and audition again when you’re ready. They currently are trying a bunch of people to do the Business Wrap on a regular basis.”

“Alexis and I were lunch buddies, but I only did the 5 minute show once or twice for her. Is that the only way we get the condo?” Selena wondered.

“No, no. We had the deal struck before we even discussed you. She really liked you, also mentioning the “lunch buddies” thing. You don’t have to audition for us to get the place.
Now, turn off the work talk and let’s discuss how good you feel in my arms. Mmmmm, the fresh smell and the way you feel in this silk robe, I’ve got a few mergers in my mind to talk about.” Joe said as he let his hands slip down her back to hold the two balls of her ass in his hands.’

Suddenly her demeanor changed and business talk stopped. She nuzzled her head into Joe’s chest and hummed a loud approval to her bottom being fondled.

“You were so confident I would stay at Wall Street Global you went ahead and looked for a place to live?” She asked as she pressed her middle to his.

“Selena Hanson Johnson, you seem to forget that I know every little thing about you from the specks of gray hair you dye, right down to the wrinkles in your cute little butthole, and you were easy to read on this one.” Joe said laughing as he pulled her tight to him.

Her knee went up gently against his balls as she talked from the side of her mouth.

“Mention the gray hair again and I’ll be fondling the family jewels with my kneecaps.” She said playfully.

“I can respect that.” Joe said with a giggle as they both tightened their hug.

“Umm, you still smell fresh, when did you get out of the shower?” She whispered as she inhaled into his chest hairs.

“I worked out downstairs from 3 to 4 and showered after. I must have fallen asleep right after that until you came home.”

She ran her hands down his back and over the light cotton sweat shorts he had on and then propped her chin up to his face.

“Joseph! You aren’t even wearing underwear! You didn’t have naughty thoughts about this afternoon did you?”

He didn’t answer but ran his hands over the silk robe and again held the balls of her ass tightly, pulling her to him.

“Mmmm, I love the way you fondle my hiney.” She purred.

“I love everything about your hiney.” He whispered as she felt his cock rise between them.

“Just think, if you take me to Jamaica you can fuck me there, make love to me there, all you want.” She said in a whispered growl. 

“Were you afraid I forgot about that, because I took care of that too. Earliest we can leave is next Thursday, Thanksgiving Day, out of Kennedy.  Your parents will be signing for our passports tomorrow, the flights are booked, and they have our cottage at Chiascuro Resort, the same one we had our first time there. The cottages are all newly refurbished and refurnished as well. I got a call from the State Department this morning saying Senator Jackson had arranged everything; they even got passport pictures from our press conference.” 

“Hmmm, my parents and Thanksgiving. Leaving will not go over well.” Selena said with a worry in her voice.

“Took care of that too! We’ll have Thanksgiving at your Moms on Monday and then have another early Thanksgiving dinner with Joe and Shanna before we go to the airport on Thursday. I should have been a travel agent, huh? Do you think you can drag yourself away from work for that?” He asked.

Her answer was to step back and reach into his little shorts and wrap her hand around his cock. She gave it a few squeezes and pushed his shorts down turning around and bending over. She reached back and pulled his stiff cock down and let it pop up between the cheeks of her ass, through the silk robe. She pumped her hips a few times to let it slide between the groove before it popped out, being so stiff. She turned back to him with a sexy grin.

“Hmmm, I guess that means I win over work, huh?” He asked cutely.

“You’re so perceptive, even with all of your blood out of your brain and gone someplace else.” Selena mused as she knelt down and pulled his cock to her lips to kiss lightly before putting her mouth over the head to soothe the hurting want it displayed.

She ministered to him for just a few moments pulling her mouth off, causing him to react to the sudden wet coolness as she asked, “Where do you want to make love to me, my pussy is dripping. I need you right now.” She said as she stood.

Joe stood and pointed to the wing chair he had sat and fallen asleep in and she quickly knelt in it, thrusting her ass out. Joe slid up the silk robe over her bottom, swooning at the sight of its loveliness.

The pink and coral of her womanhood glistened as she waited for him to sheath her, holding her breath, preparing for the intrusion.  

“Ooooooof! I swear you’re bigger when we do less foreplay, you fill me so” She exclaimed hunching up and pressing her head into the seat of the chair. “Not that I’m complaining.” She added, panting.

Joe felt the extra tightness as well and he began to thrust into her holding her hips tightly while looking down at the spread between her ass globes, her pinkness swallowing his cock while her hiney hole opened and shut with each push and pull.

Selena began to shudder and quake quickly. The position and the chair created an angle new to their lovemaking, if it was possible. She wanted to cheer Joe on but her words came out as squeaks and squeals as her breath shortened and a violent orgasm ripped through her. Her silk robe slid from where Joe had pulled it up over her bottom and down over her head as he saw her knuckles turn white in her grip of the side of the chair.

Suddenly she bellowed a guttural sound as she drew a hard breath to refill her lungs and then press her ass tighter to Joe’s thrusts. She was enjoying the pounding Joe was giving her and when Joe saw her fingers slither from their grip on the chair to go under her he knew she was squeezing her tits and nipples as she rode the pleasure/pain edge. The loud hoot from her throat and the rush of fluid he felt wash over his dick told him she had a second huge orgasm. She raised her head and let the slippery robe slide back off her head as she pulled and twisted away from Joe, rolling into a sitting position in the chair facing the hard shaft Joe had poked her to pleasure with. Her mouth fell over him as she repositioned her butt in the chair and used both hands on his ass to pull him closer.

She took him deep and then pulled off letting her hand stroke him as she spoke.

“I wanted you longer but we have to be safe. Let me taste your juice.” She said popping the head into her mouth and stroking the shaft but only a few times before Joe’s knees nearly buckled and without a sound he shot his cum into her sucking mouth. It came up so fast it surprised her as her eyes widened and looked up to him in a panic because she couldn’t swallow that fast. She squeezed the shaft hard and pulled her mouth away for a split second to swallow before resuming her suction not wanting to lose a drop. She continued stroking him until she was sure he was through cumming and he became over sensitive. He twisted and spiraled to the floor resting his back between her legs as she sat on the edge of the chair. She fell forward and hugged her head to the side of his.

“We still got it!” was all she said as her hands rubbed up and down him until they both started giggling like little kids joyous over some feat. From the last time they made love in this room over 9 years before until this moment had been compressed into what seemed a single beat of life, their bodies seeming almost the better for the wear and toll they actually paid. At that moment they both realized the “coming back from the dead” aspect of their whole ordeal. He gripped her stroking arms tightly and hugged his face to hers all the harder. Life was back.
  
The persistent ring of the phone broke their reverie and sexual spell and Joe jumped to his feet to get it. He knew it was Joseph.

“Hey! You two get decent and we’ll be up in a few. Our dinner is in a cab from Peter Lugers.” Joseph said as he announced he and Shanna were in the house.

“Fantastic! We’ll be ready!” Was Joes only response. 

“Holy crap, Essy. We zoned too long. Get dressed, they’ll be up here in a sec.” Joe said as he rushed to find clothes to wear getting up from the floor.

“Wait a minute, wait a minute!” Selena called to him as she stood and went to him as he turned to see what the matter was.

She took his face between her hands and put her lips to his and kissed him.

“I love you SO much! Holding you the last few minutes, smelling your scent, hearing you breathe, feeling your warmth, while your taste was still in my mouth was one of the sweetest moments we’ve had since we found each other again. It’s like it’s a part of the last night we were here, newly married and excited.” She said sincerely. 

“Like a second later, I felt it too.” Joe said kissing her back and squeezing the bottom he found so precious.

“I’ll throw on slacks and a Polo. You fix your hair and get decent. They’ll be here in a minute.”

Joe busied himself finding his clothes from earlier in the day when he was out as he heard Selena gargle and then turn on the hair dryer. He rushed out to straighten up making sure there were no tell-tale signs of the pleasures they just shared. He picked his newspapers that were spread on the dining table and gave it a quick spray down. He stood and surveyed the suite a last time almost anticipating the chime at the door as he heard a bustle outside.

He waited for a moment and then opened the door expecting to see his guests but there was only a cart with two aluminum warmer cages with “Peter Lugers” spray painted on the outside. Bellmen had delivered the food via the express elevator and Joe and Shanna would soon follow. As he closed the door to wait for them he heard the hair dryers drone stop and he looked to the bedroom to see Selena drop her silk robe off her shoulders to the floor. Her nakedness was so tempting he was ready to go in and ravish her again. She quickly picked a dress off the bed to shimmy over her head. She smoothed it over her body, turning to check herself in the mirror. Knowing she was naked under the dress would be a tease for him all evening.

The door chime rang and Selena ran to meet Joe by the door, shoes in hand. She dropped the shoes, slipped into them and took Joe’s hand, pulling him towards the door to open it. 
The door opened and there stood Joseph and Shanna, both with tears running down their faces as Shanna jumped into Joe’s arms and hugged him tightly without saying a word. 
Joseph was much more composed as he hugged Selena and tried to shake Joe’s hand for a second time that day. Shanna was crying so hard as she hugged him and blubbered something almost unintelligible about a miracle.

As Joseph hugged Selena he kissed her cheek and pulled away to see his wife still hanging onto Joe as if she couldn’t believe he were there.

“Shanna is very emotional and she had such a tough time when the whole thing happened. We won’t ask you a lot of questions; we taped and watched your press conference again before we came over to keep the questions down.” Joseph said as Shanna gave up her hold on Joe to have her husband comfort her.

“Are they checking hospitals and clinics for others who possibly fell through the cracks?”
Shanna asked through the emotion she just seemed to harness.

“I just said we wouldn’t ask questions and . . . . . .” Joseph started to say before Joe waved him off.

“That’s OK and a fair question. Yes, they are looking into anyone admitted, especially as a John or Jane Doe after 9/11. No one else has turned up.” Joe answered.

“Let’s wheel in the dinner, there is a ton of food. When they knew it was for you they did the whole thing gratis. The whole place knew you and your Dad. Victor said to say hello and to please come by while you’re here in New York. He sent over 4 Big Joe Johnson specials, saying we couldn’t go wrong.” Joseph said as they wheeled the carts in.

“My Dad did some things for him and he took my Dad fishing a lot. They were buddies and when I took Selena there he recognized me from when I was a kid. He’s a very cool guy.” Joe said wiping a sentimental tear while trying to keep his lip from quivering.

The conversation over dinner dealt with mostly catching up with Joseph and Shanna’s family, their kids and the upstate cottage they bought for getting away. Joseph had become quite elite in his job with connections around the city, able to satisfy the Four Season guests with most everything they wanted to see and do. He had received diplomatic awards from The City and numerous plaques and awards from the corporation that managed the Manhattan location. Simply, he was “connected” and used his connections as a conduit to their guest’s desires.

The evening ended like old times with both couples mellowed by the wine and food, both stretched out on a sofa or love seat cuddling with their spouses. As Shanna began to doze off Joseph pulled out his phone and dialed the bell station and asked them to have a courtesy van ready to bring them home, a short walk of just a few blocks, but possibly dangerous at midnight. Both couples seemed mellowed and “sexy” by an evening where love was so prevalent. It seemed inevitable that they each would seek intimacy with their partners when they got to be alone later. The evening was an appreciation of love between friends and lovers and how they connected and intertwined.

Just as soon as their guests left Joe and Selena sought each other for a hug and walked arm in arm through the suite turning off lights and putting things away that need attention. Without words they strolled into the bedroom and stripped and slid under the sheets. He sought her out moving on top of her and made slow passionate love with mouths and bodies glued to each other. They both knew a problem would arise as Joe neared climax, she still hadn’t seen a Gynecologist to get a birth control patch. 

“I’ll finish on your belly, and then get a towel for you.” Joe said as his breathing began to build and he got up on his hands.

“No! Let me slide down and get it. I love tasting you and this will be sweet cream we made with sexy love making.” Selena whispered sexily as she began to slither under him as he pushed himself up and slipped from her love pocket.

She took his cock in her hand and stroked it twice as she put her mouth over the head and Joe groaned loudly as he gave her the warm cream she wanted as her mouth drove him over the edge. When he was done he fell back and sprawled, exhaling deeply while she crawled up to lay across his chest.

“I love you, and I love our love. I can’t get enough of every feeling, smell, and taste of you.” She said as she kissed his chest and slipped off the bed to go and rinse her mouth.

She set the alarm as the clock in the parlor struck 12 and they were asleep in moments.
Monday had been a day once dreaded, but now celebrated in their dreams. Things were returning to normal.

Voices in the room woke Selena and after pushing the puzzle pieces in her mind she realized where she was and that the morning news was playing as her wake-up. She slipped off the satin sheets and turned the alarm off looking back to see if Joe had been disturbed. The light buzz of his deep sleep told her she had not disturbed him. She slipped into the shower to begin getting ready for her day. It would be 25 minutes before she emerged in her underwear from the shower, her hair dried and fixed, as she looked for an outfit for the day. As she looked over the armoire she had filled with outfits she became aware someone was watching. She turned to see a Cheshire cat smile on Joe’s face as he watched her move about in her bra and panties.

“Don’t even think about starting anything you naughty boy.” She said with a wicked smile.

“What the mind is thinking and what the body is willing are two different things. I hope to sleep to noon. After the drive, the day on the phone, the big meal, and making love a couple times, I’m just beginning to recharge, but I need more sleep. If I didn’t have to pee you could have marched a band through here and I wouldn’t have moved.” Joe said as he slid from the bed and went in the bath to relieve himself.

When he returned Selena was just adjusting a half-slip and readying to step into a bright fall colored outfit to compliment her pale yellow undies.

“Want some help with that?” He joked.

“You stay away Mister!” She said shaking a finger at him, even though he had headed straight back to bed.

“So give me an idea for a schedule until we leave for Jamaica, Mon.” He said in his best Caribbean dialect.

As she looked into the mirror on the back of the armoire door to make adjustments to her collars and necklace she recited what surely she had been plotting all morning.

“I’m going to spend the next three days totally with the other Jamaica, Jamaica Browne, and use that time to get back into the market and get her mind jump started. She needs to get mind on commodities and futures instead of pot, cocaine, fast friends, penis, alcohol, and good times.” 

“Penis?” Joe said in wonderment.

“I think she’s been whoring around quite a bit, finding that the fast boys in the fast clubs like her cute little body and willingness to get experience. THAT’S why I wanted to get her out of Manhattan. She’s having TOO good of a time.” She said as she put in earrings and turned her head to get a look at them in the mirror.

“Remember you once told me that our sexual hunger would fade and need to make love at each chance would lessen and a new routine would start? I think she’s still in that “gotta have it all of the time” phase of her fast life. Everything is still new and exciting because she has been with so many partners and situations. Out of Manhattan she should find herself and get centered. She’s way too smart and savvy to let this ruin her career. However if she decides to not show up this morning and pick up her check, such is life. She’ll surely regret it for a long, long time.” Selena prattled on while primping herself.

While Selena didn’t really use make-up per se, she did like to use mascara to lengthen her lashes and use a light pencil on the water line under her eyes. She thought it made her look more alert and credible. The rest of the colors and shading in her face were natural. 

Joe was watching her while he settled into the sheets and pillow knowing he would easily fall asleep again soon. He smiled with pride to himself that they loved each other so, and then had to comment on something she had just said.

“Has our sexual hunger faded? It seems we’ve made love at every turn in the last few days.” He said with a Cheshire grin.

She stopped what she was doing and turned to face him rather than talk to his reflection.

“Do you know how hard it is not to come to you right now? I wore a pad in case you woke up while I dressed. I’m so wet right now that it’s driving me crazy. Without the pad I’d have to change my panties before I left. It’s only taken these few weeks to get us back to where we were as far as that goes. Dreaming about you for 9 years and then getting you back. . . .why, I never want to be away from you! I hope your heart can handle my appetite for you in Negril.” She said with a kidding sneer before breaking into a sexy smile.

She turned and closed the armoire and went to the bed and bent and kissed his cheek backing away quickly, knowing a hand would try to touch her someplace sexual.

“Go to sleep, you naughty man and roll onto that stiffy you have and let it pass. We can take care of that and my wet spot later. I love you and will call you around lunch” She said as her heels clicked on the floor between the bedroom and parlor carpets.

“We aren’t doing lunch, are we?” He hollered from the bed.

“No, I may have it sent in for Jamaica and I or meet with Alexis if I can. You settle the trip and the condo deals, talk to my parents. Bye, bye!” She called out as she left and the main door clicked shut.

When she got off the elevator in the main lobby no less than 5 Four Seasons employees said “Good Morning Ms Johnson” as she passed with her coat over her arm. She went into the area now designed for “people on the go” to get a quick coffee, paper and small repast to get the day going. She served herself a muffin top and coffee while picking up a WSJ. She had 12 minutes until her “car” would pick her up in front and bring her to work. She wanted to walk it, but for only the second day she worried of paparazzi and media types who might stalk her.

It turned out to be a wise choice as still some media milled around the Wall Street Global Group entrance hoping to get some photo or story. Selena smiled and walked by and into the door.

“Good morning Ms Johnson!” Deneigh exclaimed, more than happy to see her.

“Good Morning Miss Myersen!” Selena said as she looked to the board to see who was in or out.

“Oh, I see Miss Browne is in early today!” She reacted.

“Yes, and looking quite proper, I must say.” Deneigh responded, adding, “Oh, I shredded the item you had me prepare yesterday.”

“Thank you and we’ll file that info in our vaults for good.” Selena responded.

“Already done, and you can call me Deneigh out here.” She added with a smile.

“No, you’re going to be partner and should get the respect each of us gets inside these doors. Selling yourself short is no confidence builder. Play the part, act the part, BE the part. Believe in yourself Miss Myersen.” Selena told her as she went through the big door into the Great Room.

Slim was sitting at the long table and he stood as soon as Selena walked in.

“Good morning Ms. Johnson, I was hoping to have a word with you before you settle in.” He said.

“Sure, Mr. Beupour. Right into my office now, okay?” She said as she went into the one empty office where her old name slug “Miss Hanson” was hastily put back in the identity slide.

“Selena, I don’t want my reluctance to sit in with Jamaica Browne to affect our friendship, our relationship outside of this building. I haven’t had an opportunity to talk to either of you. You and Joe are so loved and respected by both me and. . . . . .” Slim started before Selena cut him off.

“Slim STOP! I wanted you to be aware I was disappointed in you, that you didn’t have enough concern for OUR COMPANY to step in! I understand your feelings on the situation and you felt trapped, but you should have tried another angle instead of doing nothing. After talking with Ross yesterday and hearing the feelings of the others he gave me full reign of her future and I was ready to flat out fire her yesterday. I’m gone for 9 years and I come back to find my investment is at risk because political correctness and soft spined men couldn’t handle a situation. You were all happy to wait her out until the third zero vote and piss away the investment and the precious YEARS of getting her to this spot. Business is business, and being polite is being polite, but when someone has all of you bent over screwing you, risking your own seats, WHERE IS THE SANITY!”

Slim cowered for a second before defending himself. “Selena, you’re hardly in a position to take up where you left off and . . . . . .”

But Selena sprung to her feet again to interrupt him.

“Slim you’re 100% right on that one count, my market know how and skills are way behind, BUT DON’T INSULT ME BY DOUBTING MY BUSINESS SENSE AS WELL AS NOT EVEN TRYING TO PROTECT MY SHARE VALUE!”

Slim had no words or answer for her accusations and was searching for something to say when Selena started in on him again.

“Her recruitment, her salary, her living stipend to get her on her feet, her education and the 5 years we paid for one of the most prestigious institutions in the country to groom her, PLUS the time she made NO contributions to us is like lighting 2 million of OUR, the partners, dollars ON FIRE and then invest the same, plus inflation to re-do it again to replace her…………………you were all willing to piss it away. I’M NOT!! This is business, Slim, and remember that Joe and I both love you and Shelley and want to see you soon, but THIS IS BUSINESS and the old Jewish merchants from the slums of New York had a saying that lives to this day, DON’T SHIT WHERE YOU EAT. Now, you know how I feel and I’ll say the same things to any other partner who comes in here wanting to question the authority Ross gave me with her yesterday. Now get out of my office so I can go see if my tirades with her yesterday did any good.”

Slim jumped to his feet like a frightened dog to escape when Selena stopped him.

“Slim, Joe and I really do love and miss you and want to see you this week. Please don’t let this affect our personal relationship. It was obvious someone had to step in. Step back and look at it and you’ll agree. Kiss kiss.” She said waving a kiss to him.

She jumped to her feet again and went to Jamaica Browne’s office, knocked and went in without waiting to be asked in.

Miss Browne was behind her desk with legal pads before her and the WSJ opened to the editorial page. Both monitor screens were DVR frozen with quotes she was curious about.

“Good morning Ms. Johnson. I’ve got something interesting brewing here and would like your opinion. Is it possible that one of the internet culture sites, like Yahoo or Facebook, would wash funds through Forex markets as if to invest in another country’s internet, take a loss and then come back to shock investors by buying one of their competitors without giving owners of either stock a chance to buy or sell? I mean, it’s legal and all, but unethical as hell. When they lose money on the money trade, the small investor might get skittish and jump out only to try and re-buy when the merge happens and the stock jumps. They usually get shut out when all the nickel and dimers small folios get consolidated by a sweeper, those guys who sit back and wait for the petty short sells.” Miss Browne said without lifting her eyes from the figures she was jotting.

“Show me how you got to where you are.” Selena said without another word or checking to see how she was dressed.

“DormTalk has been really hot in the past month or so and lots of new money is propping them up, big buyers with big shares. They’re selling Euro’s and Dollars in the form of foreign loans to new start-ups in Africa and Korea. Meantime, the buzzing new social start-up IPO, CollegeDate is raising their prices to meet DormTalk according to this article. CollegeDate has a slightly sleazy rep, but has 8 million subscribers, with 10 to 20% dropping off the service in the last 48 hours. Both stocks have made silly moves up and down the chart, but worth isn’t changing with new buyers girding up the skittish. The 2 are so much alike and with the price point switch, I can’t but help think something is wrong and big money is going to come from Forex sources with one buying the other.”

“You followed the money?”

“Yes, definitely DormTalk opening like business ventures in those countries and they seem to be buying cheaper CollegeDate stock. It’s confusing.”

“Do we have any subscribers heavy into either?”

“Yes, one in particular, one of Mr. Fountains major folios.”

Selena picked up the phone and dialed J. Trace Fountains extension.

“Yes, Miss Browne.” He answered.

“Trace, this is Selena. I’m sitting in with Jamaica for a few days and she may have found something to interest you. Can you come up for a moment? Her boards are set up to show, otherwise we’d come to you.”

“Give me a moment and I’ll be there.”

As they waited Selena made firm eye contact with Jamaica who dropped her eyes and seemed to swallow a ball of emotion.

“I took inventory last night and know I’ve been a screw-up. I went online to a site called “Are you Dependant?”. They ask you 5 questions about yourself and I was 5 for 5 negatively. I’m a drug and alcohol using whore who uses money to get her friends. I don’t say that proudly and I want to scream when I think of what I’ve done.” She said as a knock came to her door.

“Compose yourself, you don’t want to show emotion with him.” Selena said as she opened the door for Trace.
Selena let Jamaica do the talking as she showed Mr. Fountain the trail she had found. He nodded, fingered his jaw, and finally smiled a little as she finished.

“That’s very good work, you two, I . . . .” He started before Selena interrupted him.

“No, I just walked in, she was on her own.”

“Great! I’ve been following the same thing and wondered if I was over-thinking the scenario. Now I think it’s worth a phone call to the investor. I wouldn’t cause a false panic in the investment world with it unless we see something illegal. This is unethical, but unfortunately LEGAL. Very good work, Miss Browne. Now show me how you got your deduction, what tripped your questions.” Mr. Fountain asked to be sure they each followed the same route.

Jamaica turned back her yellow legal pad and backed her saved screens to show the how, where, and why she was inquisitive of the moves. She looked up to Trace and he smiled back to her.

“That was great work. Take this how you like, but, that was the first time I’ve been able to say that to you and I’m surprised. Let a journey begin here.” Mr. Fountain said as he winked to Selena and quickly slipped out the door.

Selena looked to her and her face broke into tears as she hid behind her hands.

“I’m all of the things my Mother warned me about coming here. I blow my money on coke and booze and can’t put names on 3 of the last 5 men I slept with.” She said before she broke down altogether.

Selena locked her door and turned on her conference light so she could cry in private. She let her go for a bit before she went over and squat down beside her chair to comfort her.

“You aren’t the first to fall prey to the city and you won’t be the last. Knowing and realizing what you’ve done is over half of the recovery. Do you think you need help with the alcohol or drugs?” Selena asked.

“No, I thought it over last night and called and talked to a friend back home. Most of it was to get to the sex, feeling loved away from home, even though I hated myself afterwards. The high wasn’t the drugs or booze, the high was the sex. The other stuff just dulled the pain and remorse later. Why do people DO these things to themselves? I DID them and I have to ask. I’m such a mess.” Jamaica said through her sobs.

“You don’t know how far ahead of it all you are by coming to grips with it. I take it you weren’t that sexually active back home?”

“Oh, nothing until a couple boyfriends in college, but nothing that got serious. I was real innocent when I got there. More curious than anything. But, I just got taken in here. I had expendable cash, a Manhattan apartment, and suddenly I had friends and lovers hanging on me. I’m not a whore, or a slut, not a druggie or an alky. By getting out of town, I can catch up on my reading, which I sorely miss. Curling up with a book, with my cat close by is more “me” than sleeping around. I mean, I do want to find love, but I wouldn’t find it in the crowd I was with.” She said softly.

“My husband should call today with details about the apartment he found and maybe we can go there in the next few days. Please keep in mind that both Deneigh and I have leaned on each other’s shoulder with problems females can talk over and would do the same for you. Now we have to get cracking and back to work.”

Selena had just begun showing Jamaica the processes she used to begin her day when the intercom rang. Jamaica took a short message and hung up looking to Selena. 

“Mr. Curran would like a short meeting with you in his office, right away.”

Selena rolled her eyes and left Miss Browne on her own once again and went right to Curran’s office.

“Yes, Mr. Curran, you wanted to see me?” Selena said as she walked right into his office without knocking. 
 Ross waited for the door to close completely before he said, “Yes, Selena sit down.”
as he sat back in his chair and faced his hands together, as if to pray, in front of him and rotated them back to rest his chin on the tips of his middle fingers. It was a familiar position he took when he was going to speak of great importance, Selena knew. 

“When we recruited you and hired you to be one of our partners in waiting we knew we were getting a logical, straight thinking, young lady. We only hoped we could mold you into a leader. Then, you were taken away from us before we ever had a chance to begin a process by which we might see you in that light. To be certain, your beauty and pleasant veneer made us old fogies think we might have to search elsewhere for an eventual spokesperson or titular head of this group. However, maybe that quality was hidden before, or brought into light by the 9 years of hell you went through, because what I’ve overheard in the past few days has me ready to pass that mantle from me to you.” He said with a sly smile and sort of wink.

“I’m afraid I don’t understand what . . . .” Selena began to say when Ross interrupted her.

“Selena, these walls are thin if one wanted to eavesdrop, as long as the voices were raised that you wanted to listen to. I seek solace from time to time in The Great Room in the recliners in the alcove where the TV is located. I need time away from the flickering screens and news blab in my office. Pardon the expression, but I heard you rip new buttholes in two of our “partners in waiting” with a passion that only I thought I possessed amongst the group.”

“I’m sorry if I overstepped my . . . . . .” She began to say as she flushed red when Ross held up his hand.

“Stop! It was called for on both accounts and perhaps you should have said a derivative of the same speeches to each of us old farts. Too many of us going along to get along and not making waves. Thirty years ago that would have been me for as much as wasting a sheet of copy paper. Not that I care any less now, but certain things in life seem more important to exercise my passions on. You have the fire burning hot within you to make this group keep sailing as we have been. No one elected me to be the so called “spokesperson”. I just took the responsibility because others didn’t seem to want to. Now, I want you to take the baton from me in that regard.”

“I don’t know if I can be that strong.” Selena said doubting her abilities.

“My dear, do you think that either of those two will ever challenge your authority after what you’ve given them in the last 24 hours?” He asked her.

Selena thought for a moment and a little grin slid across her face. “No, I doubt they will.”

“Where you see need for that sort of impassioned response, feel free to give it, no matter whom it’s aimed at. I’ll back you 100%.” He reassured her.

“Suppose it’s YOU it’s aimed at?” She asked seriously.

“There, you see? You’ve already done it. I will be at your beck and call shall that ever arise.” He answered as he stood to signal the end of the little meeting.

She shook his hand and went out of his office into The Great Room wondering what just happened. She smiled as she realized she had just, more or less, become the “go to” head of the group. All she need do is exert the power when it became necessary. Being outspoken was apparently the only requirement as others had done through the years and then eventually ceded that “power” to another member of the group. Not that any of them lacked the passion for the job at hand, but someone had to lead at one point or another while the others trusted that person to know the way.

Selena settled back into the office with Jamaica Browne and little by little began to get into the groove of things while relearning the current trends and stock movements. She worked aloud and Jamaica began to catch on to her little tabs and systems. While watching Jamaica work she seemed to almost be able to see the moment when everything clicked for her. She began to combine knowledge from the editorials and blogs of the financial world with the reality of stock prices in reference to the bear and bull movement of money and commodities. She saw the  relationship to overseas movements in the Forex numbers to US pricing with gains and failures of buys and sells with mergers and take-over’s. It was the application of prior knowledge to the reality of how the market shaped itself. Like dominoes, things would fall into place and when something failed to fall right, it was finding out why or why not. It was all that complicated, but just that simple to the educated mind whose propensity for detail in seeing triggers and stops. Selena’s PolyTech mentor Doc Stevens once told her it was like the optical illusion stereograms you saw in the Sunday funnies, where you stare closely at the image and then pull it away slowly to have an image form before your eyes. ie: if you looked at it with the right perspective, the answer would become obvious if you consider all the aspects. Stevens told her she had “the gift”. As the day progressed she saw that Jamaica Browne had the gift as well. She watched her work and consume the information like a shark counting cards at the blackjack table. 

“Jamaica, I have to ask you, if all of this came together so easy for you why did you struggle so, refuse to learn, and come within a hair of losing your job?” Selena asked and waited for an answer.

“No one explained how to apply it all, follow the leads and the like. It’s really simple, I should have just figured it out, but I couldn’t wait to leave every day.” She said with her head down.

“You just need someone to push you, motivate you. I won’t be here to kick your ass every day, you know. You’re smarter than me and you could be me, better than me, if you applied yourself. I think you look at the old guys here and think these people are way past their prime. Let me tell you, some of them may be tired, but every one of them is as sharp as you are right now, and don’t forget it. You spent your morning filling legal pads with notes, freezing screens, cross checking. When Trace came in here, he already knew everything you did. He probably did that as soon as he came in this morning and looked at the opening numbers. Now you know how I do it and you’ve seen how the pieces fall. What you did earlier on pads and screens, Trace did in his head, making mental tabs like I showed you this morning. You know you can do it.” Selena insisted.

“I can, I know I can!” Jamaica said.

“But, remember, if you fill your nose, drink the booze, wiggle your ass, and bumpitty bump and suckitty suck your way around town, it won’t happen. You have to be sharp and realize that you made a commitment to this firm and they will fill their commitment to you and make you a wealthy woman at a young age. IS THAT STRAIGHT ENOUGH FOR YOU?” Selena asked with the trigger to her temper set to go off again.

“Yes, ma’am. That is STRAIGHT ENOUGH. I don’t need to be reminded how stupid I was. . . . . . and calling you “ma’am” was not being a smart ass, I DO totally respect you and everything you are doing for me. I know you could have just as easily fired me yesterday. I know you were serious. I saw the shredded check in the bin this morning when I dumped my shredder. Thank you for saving me. I will not disappoint you, or myself.” Jamaica said firmly, but clearly embarrassed.

“OK then, let’s get behind the desk and see what’s happening. Let’s try to both work aloud and compare notes as we go.”

Chapter 17

For the first time since working with Miss Browne, Selena felt comfortable enough to drop her attitude with her and begin to work as teammates, side by side. They watched the numbers flash on the screens and the TV analysis shows with financial experts to get perspectives they might have missed. After an hour of note taking and passing ideas to each other the intercom rang for a general message to all stations, “Ladies and Gentlemen, in the Great Room in 5 minutes” came the call from Deneigh who apparently had been summoned by one of The Five. No more than a minute later while she and Jamaica were collecting note pads the intercom rang once again.

“Ms. Johnson, Alexis Konsantakis on your private line. Would you like to take it or call her back after Great Room?” Deneigh called out.
A subtle muted beep let Selena know the intercom was open for her to speak aloud.

“I’ll get it Ms. Myersen, I’ll keep it short.”

“Hello Alexis, I’m so glad we were able to do business with you on the condo. Thanks for considering us.” She beamed.

“Oh my Lord, not a problem. The miracle of your recovery made me, and all of us at 
The News Desk so happy. I missed you so badly after the whole thing came down, no pun intended. You were the best lunch buddy I ever had. A few years later I gave up my Wall Street job to produce for them and I’ve branched into a few other things. Can we do lunch today? I want to talk to you about doing another screen test, maybe filling in or even getting your own nights. We don’t use one host anymore.” She told Selena. 

“Well, YES, I can do lunch, can we meet at 12:30 where we always went?”

“Yes, it’s still there.”

“OK, we can talk then. I’m not sure about tackling that now, but I do want to talk about it. Listen, I have a meeting in one minute. Let’s talk at 12:30, OK?” She said finishing up.

Selena and Jamaica were the last two into The Great Room and were about to sit down when Selena saw Deneigh taking her usual place at the end of the table with her digital recorder and steno pad.

Before she sat down she looked to her and said, “In the future, Miss Myersen, get someone from the steno pool to attend so you can properly participate. We’ll work at filling your job up front so you can devote more time to our work.”

As everyone at the table nodded in agreement with her, Selena saw that Ross had been right about just taking the reins and doing what needed to be done.

John Branniff stood, making two fists that he leaned on as he spoke, taking the stance he always took when he asked for the floor.

“I think we need to look a little deeper into something that became obvious to me in the news and trades this morning. Anyone?”

Each person at the table nodded and held up a notepad with one word circled in their scribbling. GOLD.

“At least I know I’m not imagining it.” John said as he held up his own notepad with GOLD written in big letters before speaking.

“There’s been a lot of movement of the stuff in a lot of strange places. It looks like a few of the rebel African nations are possibly buying weapons from China and maybe Iran. The transfer of gold has been too heavy for it to be food or oil. If it’s weapons I’m sure the CIA is watching it closely, but I’m more concerned with all the selling, that it might drop the price and panic a few people. Gold is always security, but this is a poor time to buy gold as an investment, it’s at a record high and buying to see more gains is risk speculation, but unless someone bought it in the last 36 hours, it’s still way ahead of the price paid. It closed at 1917 yesterday and it’s showing 1836 right now. It was at 1786 two days ago, so I wouldn’t panic, but newbie investors have set off flags on 4 of the folios I tend, wanting to dump it. Do you think we should make a statement considering so many new gold speculators? Veterans can see the writing on the wall, price wise, but if enough people are skittish of their new investment and sell, it could set off a little panic on those who lost big on the last crash. I think we all know that if the dollar goes down, only those with gold will financially survive.”

“Do you think it would be wise to mention the word “war”, if we do make a statement?” Ross Curran asked.

“Ah, therein lies the rub, Mr. Curran. How do we convey the selling and transfer of the stuff without saying the word and leaving it so obvious that we don’t need to.”

Slim stood up and put a finger to his chin. “I think my friend at the State Department could give me an idea if war in the region is a reality. If it is we can say “rumored” or “suspected” in the statement. I think we have to show a valid reason why these people have sold their commodity, and not let folks think they are just cashing in on the price change, although it’s the sale that caused the price change.”

Selena shook her head and opined aloud, “Those who bought gold to get rich and would sell it on fluctuations deserve what they get, but when they’re our subscribers I suppose we should back them.”

Then, for the first time in any of these gatherings Jamaica Browne spoke up, “We should be sure to approach them as not making it obvious that we don’t approve of their path of speculation. We have to keep in mind that a plus in their end of day net worth is their goal. You’ll never convince them that sitting on a losing investment is secure.”

John Branniff was the only one at the table not taken aback by the fact she had spoken.

“THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is a salient point we should all carry with us in any calls we make on this. Also, in any statement we decide to do.” Branniff said wiggling two fingers on the hand outstretched over his notes as he looked them over without looking up.

Ross Curran beamed inside at her comment and wanted to go over and kiss Selena Johnson for the shock treatment she had given to wake her. 

“Mr. Beupour, why don’t you try your friend at the State Department right now, while we wait? I think we should get a statement out before closing today. Does anyone think that’s being too aggressive?” Selena said.

Trace Fountain chuckled as he looked to Selena with a shake of his head, agreeing it wasn’t too forward. “Ms. Johnson, your actions in the hours you’ve been back with us indicate you have planned to stay for a bit. May I add a “bravo”.”

Selena smiled widely and then turned red, embarrassed at being singled out, only to comment, tongue in cheek, “Someone had to get here and straighten you old farts out.”

Everyone in the room knew the “old farts” comment was a reference to the late Charley Ford who always said he felt like that around Selena, whom he treasured as the daughter he never had. They all had a good chuckle while Jamaica tried to figure why such off color comments drew laughs.

Trace stood and said “It’s almost 12:30, let’s break for lunch. We can all take an hour, Ross and John have business uptown. I’ll use the extra time to do the first draft of the statement.”

“Oh no, Mr. Fountain. You go for your hour. I’ll do the first draft.” Deneigh said as if shocked by his words.

“Don’t be foolish Deneigh. Get the service to answer the phones and you take the hour. How do you think you’ll be able to sit in a partners chair if you don’t learn how to take a full hour? I’ll have it ready for you to proof before the read through. I’ll hear no argument.”

“Oh, I suppose I could shop now instead of after work.” She said.

Slim came out of his office having spoken to his connection at the State Department.

“Well, for what it’s worth, there are rebels already fighting and some opposition armies are beginning to assemble. They don’t know how big this will all get, but certainly the official governments are the ones moving the gold to protect themselves and the part of the nations that are supporting them. We really don’t know how widespread the rebel factions go.” Slim reported.

“Thank you my Beupour, I may try to gently word a part of the statement to show that there is a certain franticness or fanaticism pushing the sales, and not REAL reasons to panic at all.” Trace said as he took his notes.

They all broke for lunch and went about their respective business. Selena was the first one back and she called her code in to the service to get the door buzzed. In the Great Room Trace was eating a sandwich from his briefcase while he scribbled a draft of the statement on a yellow pad. He nodded to Selena and she went for her office, which she still hadn’t set up. As she passed Jamaica’s office she saw the door propped open and Jamaica behind her desk with a sandwich and a catalog to thumb through. Selena nodded to her but heard her call.

“Selena, have you got a moment?”

“Sure, what is it?”

“I have an embarrassing question, but my mind won’t let me rest until I ask it.”

“OK, what is it?”

“Close the door please.” Jamaica said as she flushed with embarrassment.

“Well, this morning when you were chewing me out again you made reference to “if you fill your nose, drink the booze, wiggle your ass, and bumpitty bump and suckitty suck your way around town.” I know I must have been that obvious to everyone that I was hungover a lot, and doing coke. But, I never had sex with anyone that was even close to this company but I realize that it might be common knowledge that young women enjoy sex while high. However, who told you I was . . . er . .giv. . . doing oral sex? Someone in here?” 

“No one made ANY reference to your sexual habits Jamaica, don’t be paranoid! My husband, who knows his way around Manhattan a lot better than I wish, and mind you BEFORE he met me . . . so much so we STILL probably can’t go to most of the trendy eateries because of who he has been with in the past. Anyway, he told me, and I know now from firsthand experience, that EVERY woman gives head, blowjobs, or whatever you want to call it. Every woman acts like it’s the worst thing you could do, but behind closed doors, things change. If you think you’re more promiscuous than most because you did, don’t. However, you really should know who you’re with and how you feel about the person. My words were not aimed just at you from anything specific I heard. I assumed, and from your embarrassment, I assumed right. Now you may assume with every woman you come into contact with. We all love it with the right person.” Selena said with a wink as she got up.

As she propped Jamaica’s door the way it was and headed to her office she heard Jamaica call out, “Thank you, I feel much better now”, followed by a little giggle.

By 1:30 all of the offices were occupied with closed door and just before 2:00 Deneigh opened the intercoms for final statement review in 5 minutes. She read the statement prepared by J Trace Fountain with her edits. Each member nodded and took notes for changes and in 10 minutes Deneigh had the final ready to publish.

As they were about to break they all stood and waited for Ross Curran to give them a time for the press to be let in for the reading. Ross looked to Selena and gave a stern tip of his chin as if to nod to her, wanting her to assume the reins.
“Deneigh, inform the media that we will have a statement at , um . . 3:45. Make them aware that I won’t be doing any interviews beyond the subject.” Selena said before they all repaired to their lairs. 

About 3:30 the First Financial News crews were in to set up lighting, pull out the backdrop curtain and hang the logo as WSGG was a long time advertiser and sponsor.
At precisely 3:45, on a cue from Deneigh, the door of each office opened and the group walked to assemble before the logo and into the lights. Deneigh stood with her arms folded chatting with one of the newsmen when Selena called to her,

“Miss Myersen, we’re waiting for you to join the line so we can begin.”

Deneigh tried to act as if she weren’t surprised and came up where Selena positioned her right next to her, with Jamaica Browne flanking her other side. They all stood stoic and after a pause when the red light came on Selena stepped to the lectern and read.

“The price of gold has made some wild highs and lows in the past few days causing concern in the eyes of some investors. Be assured that no matter what the price of this precious commodity, it is, and always will be, the safest, most trusted, investment.
If I may give some . . . . . . .” Selena continued keeping the statement at just over 45 seconds. When she finished she turned and stood back with her colleagues until the red lights went off.

Reporters arms flew up wanting to ask questions, “Ms. Johnson, Ms. Johnson?”

Deneigh went to the lectern and simply said, “There will be no questions today.”

As Selena was about to step into her office one reported shouted loudly, “Ms Johnson, does this mean you are back to assume your position with the firm on a full time basis?”

She was about to close her door when she stepped back into view and said, “It is as it seems until it changes.”, and then she closed her door.

“I had lunch with Alexis today.” Selena said as Joe poured wine for her after she had changed from her work clothes.

“She’s full time with the network now?” He asked.

“She could go back to the investment firm, but they consider her work to be a conflict, now. When she was just reporting, it was OK, like WSGG with me. She writes copy and editorial now, so they gave her unpaid leave for 2 years. She’s trying to figure out if she has a future in broadcasting.” She said sipping her wine.

“She seems to hold a lot of the strings right now.”

 “They’re working on a shoestring right now until this hotshot from the BBC comes in. She’ll be his top production assistant, but if she can run the show without him, why do they need him?” She wondered.

“Easy, hon, because she hasn’t fucked up yet. Her division just has so many shows and she can’t change that content, she just has to make sure it all gets on the air. When it came down that they wanted to cut 5% of the talent budget she was going to sell the condo, but we’re picking up the lease on that to cover for her. Why they leased 2 condo’s for talent is beyond me anyway.”

“Well, she must have some leeway, she offered me a job, but I’m not sure. I certainly wouldn’t do it for the money, a half hour of Union scale, but it is fun and just across the street.” She told him while making a doubting face, unsure of how she felt about it.

“If you want your ego fluffed by being recognized, you should do it. It’s not like Joe Schmoe is going to recognize you, just stockheads and people too lazy to change the channel.” He said chuckling.

Selena grew a little huffy at Joe.
“It’s not like they’ll be throwing rose petals before me as I walk up the street. It’s more like dropping a jar of olives in the market and somebody saying, “oh look, there’s that stock news lady, . . . . .butterfingers!”, that’s the extent of being recognized. I don’t have that kind of ego.” She said pointing a finger at him in her defense.

“Essy, whatever you want to do that makes you happy. You were so proud of yourself before when tried it. Maybe it’s good for your self esteem.” Joe decided.

“Well, the media rewrote history after we came out. They showed me doing the report, but they were only demos. 9/11 was to be my first night actually doing it, but I WOULD have been happy doing it, for my personal sense of accomplishment. Speaking of that, Ross told me today to show leadership initiative and I could basically run the firm, not be CEO, but hold the reins. I guess no one really wants to call themselves the “boss” and Ross says he overheard me giving a ration of shit to Jamaica Browne and then to Slim. He likes my style. I told him I was just protecting my investment, but he says that’s the shot in the arm the group needs.” She told Joe as he stood and slammed his fist into his hand.

“You mentioned Slim! Shit,  I FORGOT! Slim and Shelly are stopping over at 8 o’clock, on their way home from dinner. They wanted us to join them, but it didn’t sound good to me. I’m sorry, I forgot.” Joe told her as he stood and began to pick up what few things were out of place.

“Well, I don’t feel like getting dressed, but I’m not going to meet them for the first time in 9 years in sweat pants. Besides, it’s good that Slim and I establish a personal relationship outside work. I ripped him a new one today over a situation. I hope he can sort it out, you know, what’s work, what’s not.” She said as she changed and Joe walked in to do the same.

“Was it necessary, or was it that damn ego of yours.” Joe said jibing her.

Selena turned and jabbed a finger at Joe.
“Joe, this isn’t funny.” She said straight faced and dead serious, “They were going to blow away their whole investment in this woman, plus the cost of finding another replacement and paying for his or HER education. We’re talking probably a couple million dollars wasted and that comes out of PARTNER shares.” She said defending herself.

“I’m sorry, that ISN’T funny. Was this that fear of being politically correct and possible harassment charges you were talking about?” Joe asked.

“Yes, rather than handle it all directly they were all going to hide inside their foreskins and save their damn male ego’s, but it’s over now and we won’t speak of it tonight, OK?” She said as she pulled up a pair of designer jeans to finish her outfit, Joe looked on.

“Goodbye cute little tushy, I’ll see you later.” Joe said trying to be cute.

Selena stopped and turned to him. “Your “ego” comment just now will leave you jerking off alone tonight and THINKING about my “cute little tushy”.” She snarled leaving Joe to figure if she was serious or not.

“Oh, I get it, SEX as a weapon.” He said smartly

“No, SEX as a deterrent. I get respect at work, I’ll get it at home too.” She countered snidely as she walked past him.

The evening with Slim and Shelley began as other reunion meeting began, with tears and promises of not asking too many questions and remembering the press conference where they answered all they wanted to answer.

For the second time is as many nights Selena saw a former lover of Joe’s cry and blubber uncontrollably over seeing him again. She was already a little at odds with Joe over his kidding about her denial of the ego stroke from Alexis job offer. Right now she wondered if Joe was THAT good a lover. He was all she knew, was he THAT much better than most others. These women acted like his dick spurted gold bullion or was the fountain of youth. Were their few times under him THAT good? She was mad at herself for being so snippy about their gushing, but he was still in her doghouse. But wait, Slim was a renowned cocksman of his own rite and still Shelley carried on. “Maybe he IS that good, but he’s not getting any honey tonight.” She thought to herself.

As the night wore on and drinks flowed talks of old times came up and the couples sat on opposing love seats with Joe’s hand firmly gripping her knee, pulling it to his and running his hand down her calf while they laughed and reminisced. 

“Shit, he’s making me wet as hell and he knows he’s getting something tonight despite what I told him. I love him so much, I can’t resist the shithead.” She thought while she turned and smiled to him

They all made plans to get together at their upstate homes and perhaps have dinner or some other social gathering. As Slim hugged Selena good night, he whispered “I know work is work and this is different. It’s all understood.”

As the door clicked shut, Joe looked to Selena and they both quickly began to pick up the room, straighten furniture. Neither of them enjoyed having maid service come in every day. They preferred their privacy and liked to leave their life out and live here as if it were their own apartment. Instructions were left at the desk that they would request towels and linen changes and no other service was needed. Selena also knew that more than once maids had done more than clean the room and fluffed more than pillows with Joe Johnson around. She trusted him, she didn’t trust them.

As Selena put the last glasses in the dishwasher Joe held it open and had it ready to run as soon as he closed it.

“Meet you in bed in a couple minutes? I’ll set up the coffee machine for you.” Joe said as he kissed her shoulder.

“You can meet me in bed, but nothing will happen. My ego is so big that I just may get off sleeping with myself tonight.” She said as she pulled away briskly, even though she yearned for his touch.

“Oh, come on Essy, you spoiled brat. We kid and joke all of the time and you let a harmless little joke, that rang of truth by the way, get under your skin. You get all the respect in world at home.” Joe said indignantly.

Selena was just going to walk away, but she wanted the last word.

“Joe, respect, RESPECT, . . . would be taking my words at face value and not twisting them to make your silly joke about ego to hurt my feelings. I didn’t play with myself 3000 times wishing you were near to get my life back and have you think making fun of me is a joke. I grew a set of balls at work and asserted myself because I saw things happening that NEVER would have happened when I walked out the door there on 9/10/2001. It was still the next day for me when I walked back in and I was shocked at what I saw. When dear old Charlie and Will were there this shenanigan and the way they treat Deneigh would never have stood. They would have been in Ross’s office in a flash. Some of them are old and tired, I understand that, but complacency has no excuse. We’re there to protect people’s money but, we piss ours away? Not while I’m there, they won’t. Not when it’s my money. If that’s my ego, call me an egomaniac. AND! . . . ” She said as she began to turn away but pivoted back to raise her finger in his direction again. “If I want a break from all of the shit at work to walk into the fantasy world at FNN, be treated special and have my face go out to moneyheads with the days money news, EXCUSE ME for wanting some recognition outside of those brownstone walls for what I do, what I know. When I give that news, I know what I’m talking about and present myself that way. Half of the other women you see reporting finances don’t know the Dow Jones from the last jar of mayonnaise they held up in their last commercial shoot. Can’t I feel like I’m doing something valuable?” 

When she finished she strode into the bathroom, stripped off her clothes and put on pajamas instead of a nightgown. She went to the toilet and walked past a still stunned Joe and got into bed. Joe still had no words and went into the bath and performed the same things she did before getting into bed. She was turned away from him and had her body pillow she usually hugged, behind her as a barrier.

“Selena, I had no idea.” Joe said, his voice breaking as he felt so upset at hurting her.

“Don’t think the “spoiled brat” comment got past me either. You’re my husband, not my fucking father.” She said coldly to his near tears mea culpa.

“So this is the way we go to bed, you mad at me for a comment that hung on a thousand other things I didn’t know about?” Joe said hoping to roll over to her side but she raised her voice once again.

“I just want to go to sleep and have the day end! I don’t want it to continue. Someone told me that I chewed them out, was told I tore Slim a new asshole, and then laid you out in lavender. Can’t this day END!!” She said starting to cry.

Joe listened to her sob for a few moments as it tore his heart apart. He slid out of bed and went to her side and knelt on the floor and put his lips near her ear.

“Selena, where in your beautiful mind do you think I would ever say anything to purposely, maliciously hurt you in any way. If you had a tough day today we should have talked about it more. Maybe the pressure of the job is too much for you still. We’ve been through a lot. Please don’t think I said anything that was hurtful. I was only trying to be cute with you, hoping you would take it that way. From where I see NOW, you were correct in everything you did today, showing your passion, even when it was aimed at me if you thought I was trying to make fun or demean you. But you know I would never do that. Please put it in perspective, your crying is tearing me apart thinking I may have caused it. You know I would never hurt you.”

She lay silent, seeming to process his words and then took the corner of the pillow sleeve and wiped her eyes and turned them to look to Joe.

“It’s my passion for what I do for our group that drives me, and I’m not seeing the passion the way we all had it 10 years ago. When Will and Charley died they must have taken a lot with them. Ross knows I have it, that’s why he wants to pass the baton, and I want it. But how do I build the passion back in the others? Deneigh and Jamaica both have fires lit under them now, even Slim, they will be easy to lead, but I’m frustrated with Ross, Trace and John. I know you’re thinking “what does this have to do with us?”, but this is what I brought home with me. I felt so good hooking up with Alexis and what she offered. I thought it might be an outlet for the passion I feel for what I do, if I can make one person understand better. Then I guess I thought you were making fun of me, and that was childish of me. It was like I was fighting you and you’re the last person I have to fight with. I love you more every second and it tore me apart to say the words I said to you. I was a spoiled little brat in a lot of ways. Thanks for giving me the time and perspective to think this out.”

Joe showered her with kisses on her forehead and even kissed away some of her leftover tears as she spoke and then he offered her this, “If you had a private meeting with the old partners and tell them what you just told me, maybe it would shake them out of their doldrum, or maybe they just want to move on.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of, that they’ll just give up and leave me there and that ruins our plans.” She said starting to cry again. “I know you’ll tell me to just walk away now and let them wither, but I can’t do that. I wanted to finish my 5 years before saying I wanted to leave a mark on the world. But walking away to let the group wither and die isn’t the mark I had in mind. Just tell me you’ll support me and I promise I’ll get out as soon as I can say it’s all OK. Can you do that?”

“If it means making you happy, I’ll go along with anything. We’re getting the condo because I know you want to be here for at least a year, you know I support you. If this means you want to skip Jamaica and we can do it again sometime later, that’s OK too.” Joe told her knowing she may not want to leave for 2 weeks at this juncture.

Selena bolted up onto her elbows almost cracking heads with Joe who was so close.

“If you think I’m going to give up 2 weeks of making love, getting fucked every which way to Sunday, in paradise, with my husband, you’ve got another thing coming. We’re going to Jamaica and I plan on draining all sex juice we both can make for two weeks, and maybe even more. The romance won’t stop. It’ll be dirty sex, romantic sex, under the moon, out in the sun, on the bed, under the bed, everywhere. We aren’t losing this!” She said with the passion of a child being told Christmas was cancelled.


“Whoa, Selena. I’m with you on this. I was just saying if you didn’t think you could leave, I could go along with it, not that I wanted to.” He said defending himself.

“No, my stand will be made with the entire group before I leave, I’ll be able to leave. Now get up in this bed and show me how much you love me.” She said laughing like the old carefree Selena, “and take off those pajama bottoms!” She said as she slipped hers down and into the bed.

Joe was quite taken by her quick change in demeanor after she had orally sorted out her problems almost like a trip to the psychologists couch. She had let stress get to her and had become very protective and defensive of herself.

Normally, he would have been sexually excited by just seeing her in the bed, but this situation had left him without a sexual thought, until now. He just wanted to hold her against him, feel her warmth and that would have him ready. He slid into the bed and maneuvered between her legs and covered her body, pressing his lips to hers. She panted between kisses and slipped a hand between them. She felt he was soft and began to bring her other hand down between them causing him to lift up as if in mid push-up. She filled her fingers with saliva and pressed it between her sex lips, taking his softened, but encouraged, penis in her hand pressing the head to her lips and lifting her hips to get him in her.

“Grow in me, let my pussy mouth suck you hard.” She said as she squirmed to feel him, pubis to pubis.

She flexed and kegeled as she brought her arms up and around his back getting him all the way in. Joe resisted the urge for force more blood into his cock until she settled under him. In one hard pinch from deep in his groin he grew to full mast within her causing her to startle with an “Oooof” as the head of his cock kissed the opening of her uterus. 

“You’re so big, how do you hold it back like that?” She cried in a whisper.

“Willpower, lots of it, because I love you.” He said as he started to move within her.

“NO!, No, wait!” She said, pulling him tighter, “Just let me feel you fill me and taste your mouth, your lips and neck.” 

She held him tight to her and she did as she intended, thrusting her tongue into his mouth and then tasting his lips and running her tongue over his chin and down to his neck ,as far as she could reach and then back up to his mouth.

“You know that no matter what words come out of my mouth, how mad I may get, how poorly I might seem to treat you, I love you more than I did the second before. Forgive my mouth when it says things my brain hasn’t processed, thoughts I haven’t deciphered. Between the race out of that building (the Tower) and the day you found me, I guess I lost some patience, some ability to process others feelings. Just give me time and it’ll all come together.” She whispered as she began to undulate and lose her grip on his back.

“Cum together is always a good idea.” Joe said as he began to pound her hard and he saw her eyes roll back and orgasm begin.

She gripped him tightly as her spasm lasted as long as she could hold the top and then blew out a large ball of air. “We can’t cum together, I’m not protected, just let me know.” She protested, irritated that she hadn’t seen her Doctor yet.

Joe showed great stamina, lasting a good 5 minutes before he gave up and said he had to cum, and soon. “I’ll hose you down!” he said as his breath caught, orgasm near.

“No, this top will stain! Besides, I want it!” She said pulling her legs up and losing him as she scuttled under him and he sat back on his haunches.

Her mouth covered him just as he shot and filled her mouth. She swallowed hard once and then worked her lips back and forth over the head as he seemed to pause and then shoot another hard shot, making her gag a bit, still keeping her seal over him. She laughed, though her mouth was full of his penis and semen, and then swallowed. She relaxed herself resting her head on the bed as he deflated and allowed her to keep the head in her mouth. She played with it with her tongue until he cried uncle and took himself in hand.

Joe wanted to hold her and was moving to lay beside her when one knee slid off the silk sheet and he fell the other way, his face even with her bottom cheeks.

“Are you OK?”  She giggled.

“Yes, I wanted to kiss you, but this will do.” He said as he ran his tongue between the cleft.

She whooped and jumped up turning around to get face to face and share the kiss he craved. He tasted some of his semen yet and drove his tongue further into her mouth. When the kiss broke she smiled to him and then her face turned sullen.

“Why do I feel like I’ve lived the nine years at WSGG in just two days? It’s all happening so fast, it’s like they knew I would just come in and take everything over. They all got lazy and needed a boot in the ass. What if I had decided to walk away?
I know there’s a lot of pressure on me, but once I get through these few days and we get off to Negril I’ll be able to decompress. I’m kind of hoping that once I’m gone Ross gets the itch to maintain his hand on the throttle. As much as I’m willing to take it, he can have it as long as he steers it right. They were too blasé to let that much time and money slip away.”

Joe put a finger over her lips, “We just made passionate love, and you tasted my very core and seed. It’s not the time to talk about work. 10 years ago my recuperative powers were good enough that I could have stopped you from talking in a most pleasurable way.
Now I’m just going to have to tell you to shut up and go to sleep.” He said as he kissed her nose and pinched her bottom.

“OUCH!  That hurt! But I’m so sorry Joey for the work talk!” She squealed as she jumped away and rearranged the bed while Joe slipped into place and she covered him. They spooned for a few moments until they faded into sleep and their bodies moved away, she on her stomach hugging her body pillow and he falls to his back.

Chapter 18

Selena was happy to have gotten out for work without ever waking Joe. She liked it when he got as much sleep as possible so he wouldn’t fade in the evenings. They were up until almost 1:00 am that morning and if he was up with her at 6:30 he surely would be asleep in the chair in front of the news when she got home.

She felt great this morning having spilled her guts to Joe about everything bothering her and asking for a little advice. Plus she had let her mind invent some war with him that didn’t exist in reality and she was able to settle that while making love. Mornings after sex, and there were quite a few of them, always made her feel freshened and clear.

Having finished her coffee and fruit in the hotel the concierge on duty saw her walking to the entrance promenade.

“Good Morning Ms. Johnson, can I summon a ride for you?” He asked.

“No, not necessary this morning. It may be cool fall weather, but the sun is bright and I could use the walk.” She said as she pushed a pair of sunglasses on and turned up her collar. She arranged her brief under her arm and took a wide brimmed hat from her carry bag she would hold in front her that held her few personal items, sweater, scarf and some snack bars. She thrust her other hand into her coat pocket for the brisk walk, her fingers wrapped around the pepper spray can in her pocket. She felt safe overall in this area but feared the overzealous media-ite. There was an agreed “stay away and don’t bother” to WSGG’s media partners, but still there were a few inquiring minds.

Her walk the few blocks filled her lungs with fresh air and she felt a spring in her step to get out in the cool fall air. As she neared the brownstone front of her goal she saw Jamaica Browne approaching from the other way. As they both crossed from the sunny side of the block Jamaica gave her a peculiar look and then startled when they both turned to go up the steps.

“Miss, this is a private concern.” Jamaica said coldly.

“For God’s sake, it’s me Jamaica!” Selena said as she took off her sunglasses and let her hair out of her chapeau. 

“Holy crap Ms. Johnson, you’ve got a great disguise!” Jamaica said dead pan and serious.

Selena reached out and took her hands in hers.
“Jamaica, first of all, PLEASE, let me be Selena outside of the office. We can be friends, really. I know you think I’m a hard-ass who’s got you in my sights, but nothing could be further from the truth. What’s gone on here in the last few days is me protecting my money, our money, ALL the partners money, and our jobs. Once you attain partner you will have the same say in any situation as any other partner, no matter how tenured they are. We have no Chief Executive, but an acting spokesman to set the lead and take matters in hand that need to be taken that direction. I know I’ve only been back a few days but it looks like that has fallen to me, but it could just as easily be anyone in here.
Yes, without a swift turnaround, I would have fired you in a whisper a few days ago. Now you seem part of the team and until that changes, and I suspect it won’t, you’re safe until the next partner vote. Work hard and you’ll pass muster easily. Please, let’s be friends and work together. OK?”

“I feel like part of the team, I just wasn’t sure where I stood with you. Working with you in the office together is intimidating because I learn something every time you open your mouth, and I want to learn. Last night I went and looked at the apartment your husband arranged for me and I signed a lease, it will be perfect. I took the train, or subway, half the trip is above ground, to Rye and it takes an hour each way and at least at the hour I took the trip, it’s mostly business people commuting. I even met a cute guy who goes that way every day. He showed me where to walk before I got off the train.” Jamaica said, seemingly relieved of any fears she had of Selena.

“He didn’t get off with you, Right? Because that would have been creepy.” Selena said tipping her head wondering if the naiveté of a non-city person had surfaced.

“No, he even said he shouldn’t since we didn’t know each other. He was nice. He filled me in about the trains. The trip back was mostly students going home to the city I guess.
Sweatshirts and backpacks were from Iona, Sarah Lawrence, and some Japanese school I think right near the apartment. The super said I could move in between now and the end of the month, once I give him a deposit and a month rent.  I can have the rest of this month free.”

“Well, get everything in writing, and don’t trust anyone. There are lots of people in this city who want to separate you from your money, your credit cards, your purse, and your panties. Be careful all of the time. That guy on the train may have been cute, but until you establish who he is, no matter how nice he is or may seem, don’t trust him, nor she he trust you. I hate to make this sound so cold and daunting, but you could end up robbed and raped and dumped in a culvert and no one would care if you lived or died. The city is as cruel and dangerous as it is fun and exciting.” Selena warned her just before they both finished going up the stairs to have Deneigh buzz them in.

When all of the partners had settled into their offices Selena was still sitting with Jamaica watching the boards together while they read the days business papers, read the biz-blogs, and watched the financial talking heads. Twice Jamaica Browne took herself away from their tandem work spot to check out a trade or current price, trying to chase down “something suspicious or out of the ordinary.” When the coffee service had made it’s mid-morning delivery with items for a snack or break (doughnuts, pastries, granola bars, etc) along with a fresh urn of joe Selena smelled the aromatic brew and got up and began to gather her things.

“Ms. Browne, I feel you’re quite well off on your own. I haven’t been in my office for 9 years and I’ll bet it needs a bit of personalizing. Don’t be shy about calling me, or any of the others with questions, but you seem to have a handle on it.”

“Can I begin to personalize my accounts?” Jamaica asked.

“How many do you have?

“They’ve given me about 300, mostly new, mostly small folio, under 250K.”

“OK, eventually you’ll spend a quarter to half your time combing accounts, looking for safer ways for subscribers to manage their funds. Show your suggestions to Slim or I before you make any calls. Just come to one of our offices and knock, OK? My baby sitting job is over. I want to be your friend, your partner.” Selena said with a big smile and a wink for her.

Selena opened the door to leave as Jamaica spoke back to her, “Ms. Johnson, I could never thank you enough for the help and guidance you’ve given me. I was an out of control train about to go off the tracks and you stopped me and got me right. I had no self-esteem, no confidence, nowhere to turn to. Thank you and thanks to your husband for the assist finding me the furnished apartment. I’ve got a lot of little things to move from the furnished digs Mr. Curran had arranged for me her in Manhattan, but I’ll be in the new place by Monday morning when I leave for work. This is what I wanted when I came here. Thank you.”

One thought ran through Selena’s mind as she strode to her office, “Three or four days and I’ve got her on the right track and they were fine to just let her walk away and waste all of that money, time and talent. We should all have a talk about spine. I’m not going to carry the weight of this group on my shoulders.”

Sitting behind the desk in her office officially for the first time brought back a lot of memories for Selena. She opened her brief and put a few personal items on her desk and turned the switch to “in” for the light outside the door. She picked up the coat she had dropped in her guest chair earlier and went to hang it in the small cloak press in the corner next to her book shelves. There were three shelves with what appeared to be hardware boxes and a clothes bar with one empty hanger on it. At the bottom of the press was a box labeled “Selena Hanson-personal effects to be picked up”. Under the bold marker words were a pen scrawl, “Scott Hanson notified 10/12/2001”.

She pulled the box out and brought it to her chair and set it in, opening the four fold lock of the flaps.

One by one, fighting back tears, and smiling at each memento she took out. Framed photos of Joe, her parents, and one of her with Joe in Jamaica. She pulled out an appointment book that boldly said 2001 on the front and a ribbon marker pulled through the page for 9/12. There was a teak wood block polished with a plate on the front with her name, and 2 pen turrets with the gold pens taped to the bottom. She took from the box a maroon address book she had since college with her friends and contacts over the years in it. She hugged it to herself and placed it neatly in the top drawer where she always kept the tattered book. As she set it in a white envelope showed its corner from the book and she curiously pulled it out. It wasn’t sealed and as soon as she opened the flap she remembered what it was, mad money. Five crisp 100 dollar bills for those “just in case” moments. At the bottom of the box were her framed diploma’s and awards. As she took each out she returned each of them to the place on the wall where they were, their hangers still intact on the wall. It was apparent that her office had not been touched since that day. It had obviously been cleaned and dusted regularly. These people truly loved and missed her, so much so that they constructed another office for Jamaica Browne. She knew her sentimental Dad could never have come to pick up her effects, and if the office were to ship them, it would mean an end to Selena Hanson Johnson for them.

She sat back in her leather chair and cried hard tears, she was so moved it all. She turned on all of her screens and booted her computer as she tried to compose herself. Her monitor blue screened as soon as it began to boot stating that the operating system was not compatible with the main frame software. Her phone rang and the caller ID showed “Internet and Office Technologies”. She composed herself as much as she could and answered the phone with a soft “Hello?”

“Good morning, this is IOT, we manage your main frame and troubleshoot your system. You’re trying to boot an old desktop computer to the main frame, which is no longer necessary. I know this office has been dark for a bit but you need to only plug your monitor into the hot box on the side of your desk. There should be a free standing hard drive there for your personal files and wireless mouse and keyboard. They were all issued for this office, but never registered. Your in-house contact is a Deneigh Myersen, who should help you straighten out problems.”

“Thank you for your help.” She said softly as she hung up and began to gather herself.

She went to the press and got the biggest of the two boxes and opened it, it was the hard drive the tech spoke of. There was an envelope with a cable in it and a notice from Deneigh about hooking the hard drive to her old tower via USB, turning on the hard drive and restarting the tower. This would transfer files. When transfer was completed it said to arrange to return the tower to the storage room. It was dated December 4, 2006. She chuckled but took the 10 by 4 inch from the box and followed the instructions. As soon as she restarted her tower the screen had a notice from Internet and Office Technologies telling her to wait while files transferred. In a matter of minutes it was complete and she disconnected all of her wires and went for the other box in the press. It was a wireless keyboard and mouse with two batteries wrapped snugly in poly bearing an expiration date of Oct 2012.  She brought it all to the desk and plugged her monitor into the “hot box”, the top of which had two touch pads, one said boot and the other hibernate. She touched the “boot” button and in a flash a Windows screen came up with all of the icons she would need to conduct business as usual. She put the batteries in the mouse and a small light began flashing on the side of the hot box, the mouse and keyboard were active. She smiled at the new technology WSGG had stepped up to, even though it was 5 years old and she and Joe had similar tech at home.

She opened her door and clicked her way up the walkway to the back of the building to the storage room and opened the door hoping to find a hand truck or rolling cart of some kind. The rolling cart was where it always was and she wheeled it to her office, all the while the only sound in the great room was the murmur of TV’s behind the office doors and clicking on her heels on the tiled walkway off the carpet in The Great Room. She lifted her tower and other wired paraphernalia onto the cart and rolled it back to the Storage Room. Flipping on a light this time, to be sure she put the cart out of the way until maintenance could take care of it, she saw a large 4 foot by 5 foot frame covered by what looked like the deep blue velvet back drop that was stretched out behind the group for press statements. Out of curiosity she pulled back the cover to see what the framed picture was. 

Selena near fell to her knees when she looked at a painted portrait of her own image, surrounded in a spectacular gold detailed frame. At the bottom was a gold plate reading “Selena Hanson Johnson 1980 - 2001. We shall never forget her wit, her smile and her brilliant dedication to our purpose.”

Her knees wobbled as she stood back and leaned to the wall. Her eyes welled, once again, with tears flowing generously. Perhaps for the first time she had seen that she truly was dead and gone at one time in the eyes of so many. Had her fellow partners loved and respected her THAT much to put this tribute up for her? She walked into The Great Room and looked at the blank wall where the velvet curtain was pulled for statements and saw two hooks and the faint outline where a picture once was. Overcome with emotion, she rushed to her office and closed the door to sit alone. She turned off her “in” light and locked her door. Once she was composed she picked up her phone and called Joe.

“Joe, can you come and get me and take me to lunch?” She asked abruptly. 

“Well, no, you should have planned it before I’m supposed to go . . .” He began to answer.
“JOE, CAN YOU COME AND GET ME AND TAKE ME TO LUNCH? NOW!” She shouted into the phone.

Sensing something was wrong Joe changed his mind, “Yes, Selena I’m on my way. I’ll call when I pull up, OK?”

“Yes!” She said hanging up and redialing Deneigh.

“Miss Myersen, Joe is coming to get me for an early lunch, we have business to take care of, and I’ll be back by 1 pm.” She said quickly, not wanting to break down over the phone.

She put on her coat and pulled the collar up and slipped her sunglasses over her reddened eyes, hoping no one would see her or want to speak with her before she left. Joe must have been close because her phone rang within a few minutes.

“Essy, I’m pulling up in front, are you OK?” He said as she answered with a terse “OK”.

She left her office and clicked her way up the hall and through the door into reception and past Deneigh. She kept her head down and did not acknowledge Deneigh’s confused call out of “Have a nice lunch.”

Down the steps quickly and into the car she bent forward and broke into hard tears causing Joe alarm.

“Selena! Is there a medical emergency here? Did you quit? Were you fired? What is it?” He asked in almost panic.

“NO! Just bring me someplace where we can talk and be alone! Don’t go home, I don’t want to walk through the lobby like this!” She said continuing to sob.

“A courier from the TV station just came over with the key to the condo and a lease for us to sign. I was going there to look at the place. We’ll be alone. We finalize with Alexis at 5 at the studio, you’re supposed to read for her.” Joe said quickly hoping he hadn’t confused her.

“That’s fine, if we’ll be alone!” She said sitting up and using tissues to wipe her tears away from her eyes and blow her nose.

In the pre-lunch hour traffic Joe got to the building quickly and drove into the garage showing the attendant the lease and the key to get in. The key read “entrance A” and Joe drove to that section of the semi-underground lot and quickly got out hurrying over to get Selena’s door and walk her to the A elevator. He didn’t try to flush information from her, he just wanted to get her alone.

He slid the key into the A slot and the door opened, using the key again he put it into the slot in the elevator and he felt the car lift and then stop on the 2nd floor. When the door opened there was a short hallway with 4 doors. Theirs was A-2 and he opened the door and found a furnished, clean smelling condo with new carpet awaiting them. They stepped inside and Selena turned into Joe and hugged him so tightly he almost couldn’t breathe.

“WHAT IS IT?”

“I was dead to everyone. I was memorialized. They hung a portrait of me, a painted portrait like I was an assassinated queen, some sainted woman, Joan of Arc. I was aware we were presumed dead, but it never came home to me until I saw that.” She said through her tears, still leaving Joe confused.

“OK, Selena. You’re going to have to calm down and put all of this in order for me. I can see how upset you are, but I can’t find the reason in your rambling. Now sit down.” He said showing her their new sofa in the furnished condo.

Selena sat and sup-sucked for a few moments and finally calmed down.

“I had to go to the storage room to drop something off and found this huge painting, about 5 foot tall and almost as wide with this gold leaf frame, and it was ME! Obviously they commissioned someone to do it and there was a gold memorial plate at the bottom reading Selena Hanson Johnson 1980 - 2001. We shall never forget her wit, her smile, and her brilliant dedication to our purpose. I went out and saw it had been hanging at the end of The Great Room, like I was some Goddess, Queen or saint, like Joan of Arc. I guess I never thought of us as dead for all that time, just missing.”

“Essy, my sweet, get a grip. You knew everyone thought we were killed in the attack.”

“But, I! . . . . I! . . . . .I never considered myself to be dead. It just hit me that the world went on without me and I was an inspiration. Those people lionized me. Then I come in like Jesus driving the moneychangers from the temple, scolding Ross, ripping Slim and damn near firing Jamaica. Imagine what they think of me NOW?” She said, distraught.

“Selena, that’s exactly WHY they lionize you. Your fervent dedication and not letting anything stand in your way. They needed you to wake them up. They WANTED you to wake them up! Imagine the big player on the team gets hurt and is thought lost forever. Then out of nowhere he runs onto the field and saves the day. Who would be mad at him? As far as being “dead” the only people who never got a firm grip of the reality that we were lost and presumed dead were your parents. Even they had headstones erected with our names on them so your Mom would have a place to go and cry and talk to you. Your Mom never got past holding your pillow and pajamas in our bed. I thought we had talked this out.” Joe said hoping to make sense with her and calm her.

“Oh . . . . . WE DID!  . . and I don’t need any more shrink sessions, either! Anyone would have a problem swallowing this. We should sue those assholes from the ambulance that day. They fucked our lives forever!” She shouted.

“Selena, just calm down and chill a bit.” Joe said as he held her tenderly to him. “How much money would it take for you to forget everything that happened and to get your baby back?” He queried softly in her ear.

“Oh, NO amount of money would fix any of this and if they had known I was pregnant when I got there they would have aborted me anyway. Emory Richards conscience saved our baby, but if he knew how to write out a fucking report we might not have lost the years.” She sobbed into his ear.

“Again, though, how much money? Let’s live out what we have left and we have so much to live for. We’ll meet and know our baby someday, I promise you that. We’ve already missed on raising her and showing her the love we have and where she came from, but it sounds like her parents have done a fine job, and we shouldn’t dwell on what we have, or had, no control of. I promise you that we will know her someday.” He said holding her tightly as he pulled his head back to see her eye to eye.

“I’m sorry for freaking out on you, it was very traumatic to see that painting and the dedication, and you can understand that, right?” She said hugging her face to his chest.

“Yes, I understand it. I would worry if you didn’t have a reaction to it. We probably have more of these moments. I’ve had mine as well, you know. There have been people who never heard the story of us rising from the ashes. After this taste of life as usual, going to Jamaica will be a welcome break.” He whispered.

She tightened her grip on him saying, “I can’t wait to make love in the warm sand in the cabana beside our place there.”

“Sand up your butt and all?” He joked.

She broke from him with a hoot and a laugh, “No No, I’M on the top if we’re in the sand. Your hairy butt can sit in gravel and not feel it.”

“I don’t knowewwww, if you get sand up your butt and in your pootie, I’ll have to lick it out.” He said with a sly grin.

“I don’t think I’ll need sand in either of those places to get your tongue in them.” She said patting his package.

“Touché my darling, if we had the time I might go for the snack pack right now. However, I have to inspect this joint, sign the lease, and get it back to them, get you back to work and still get lunch for us.” He said taking her hand and showing her to the window.

“You see that deli across the way, in the TV building? If you go down and get 2 sandwiches by the time you come back up I’ll have the inspection done, we can eat and I’ll bring you back.”

“What about signing the lease and dropping it?”

“That’ll have to be later; I have a lawyer reading the lease right now. It appears to be standard boilerplate, but I want to be clear on the get-out/renew option after the 1st year. I just want to go through here to be sure nothing is in need of dire repair that might get put on our bill.” He told her.

“OK, I’ll get the sandwiches, . . . ummm. . . roast beef?” She asked.

“As long as it’s rare, otherwise ham. But always swiss.”

“Oh, I know the drill, and always rye. That didn’t change in 9 years, did it?” She said as she walked out to get the elevator down.

When Selena returned to the office she felt she had cleared her conscience of any “guilt” over her embarrassment at being so revered by her colleagues. The lunch she had with Joe and the calming he made her feel put things in perspective for her. However, whenever she looked at the blank spot on the Great Room wall she would still get a funny feeling.

The market was just beginning to come together for Selena by the time the market closed this session and she began to wrap up the day, but it was far from finished. She knew she still had to do a demo for Alexis at FNN and meet Joe to sign the lease while there. Alexis had emailed her earlier that she was sending a car for 4:30. She may not have thought she was making it obvious, but Alexis had every intention of hiring Selena as a reader with only a “fair” demo this evening. Selena hoped it was because she was really short of readers who understood the market, and not that she might be trying to cash in on the celebrity of her 9 year rescue. 

She heard doors opening and chatter in The Great Room as other partners began to unwind and prepare to leave for the day when her intercom rang.

“Ms. Johnson, are you still in?”, Deneigh asked.

“Yes, I’m just walking out, what is it?”

“There’s a woman who won’t take NO for an answer, saying you WILL take her call. Her name is Lucille and she won’t give me any more information, saying you would know who it was.”

“OK, Deneigh, I’ll take it. I don’t know WHY she’s being so secretive.” Selena answered as she punched the button with the flashing light.

“What is it roomie?” She answered smartly.

On the other end of the line Lucy burst into tears, trying to talk and cry at the same time.

“Lucy, you’ll have to gather yourself quickly. Let’s have a cry later. I have an appointment with a car coming RIGHT NOW. Where are you?” Selena asked firmly.

She heard Lucy cough and choke a bit and then draw a deep breath.

“I’m in New York, at the Regency on 61st and Park, are you at the Seasons?” She said holding back tears.

“Yes, I am, but I’m tied up until at least 7, why don’t you come over for 7:30?” Selena said impatiently, knowing her car was due.

“I’ve GOT to see you alone first, I need to talk and explain a few things. Can you come over here alone when you can?” She asked.

“(sigh) Yes, Joe won’t like it, but OK! Then we both come to our place, agreed?”

“Yes, most definitely! I want to see Joe, but I really need to talk to you first.” Lucy said.

“Is Jeromy here as well?”

“We’ll talk when you get here.” She said abruptly and hung up the phone on Selena. 

She opened her door and said a quick goodbye to John Branniff and Jamaica Browne who seemed to be the last 2 there. As she tucked her brief under her arm and adjusted her coat Jamaica called out to her.

“Selena, can I ask you a quick question?”

“Only if it’s very quick, I have a car waiting.” She said stopping and backing towards the door.

“It’s silly, but you’ve made me so wary. The man I’ve met on the same train every night this week has really interested me and he’s hinted around that we should get together. He seems shy, but he did ask for my number. I lied and told him I didn’t have one yet.” Jamaica said blushing.

“Jamaica, don’t trust anyone. Ask him for his name and address and then have him show you a picture ID with the same, after he’s given you the info. If it matches we’ll check him out. Take a different train to and from the next day. That’s what I would do. You should find out if he’s married, divorced, out on bail, has warrants et cetera. I hate to sound so cold, but you can read about rapes and murders everyday in the paper. I REALLY have to get out of here. We’ll talk tomorrow, OK, my friend?” 

“I understand Selena; I trust you and few others at this point.” Jamaica said smiling as she followed Selena out the door and saw the limo waiting. Selena waived off the driver who began to get out and open her door, and got in herself. The limo pulled off and Jamaica headed up the street to her station.

She thought about the man she thought she might meet, Bill. She had given her name as Jaye, a name she acquired in college that stuck among her friends. Giving him the name Jamaica might make it too easy to find her in the case she didn’t want to pursue the relationship. Her name “Jamaica” was given her because of where she was conceived. Her mother worked for the airlines and a short lived affair with a pilot ended her career as an “air hostess”. She went back to the Great Northwest where she met the man who would serve as Jamaica’s father.  The only real disadvantage to the name was that people always expected a black woman and had been called into job interviews at all black companies in the past.

She took the 4 train from the 59th Street station to Grand Central where she picked up Metro North to Rye. Each day the trip was almost 1 hour to the minute and the walk from the station to her apartment was about 15 minutes. During bad weather it was a $5.00 cab ride to her home. 

The 4 train got into 59th Street station between 4:45 and 4:55 each day with Bill sitting in the 3rd car right across from the door. He took his briefcase from the seat the last 2 days to give her a seat. How much further he rode after her stop, she didn’t know. She thought he was handsome and pleasant to talk to, very helpful, but he seemed shy. Had she not asked if she were on the correct train her first day, they may have never broken the ice.

On this day the car was crowded and, for sure Bill was getting eyeballs and insults for “saving” a seat on the train. His face lit up as soon as he saw “Jaye” in the queue for the train. He took his briefcase off the seat and she sat next to him.

“Thanks Bill, you’re sweet, but don’t get beat up holding my seat if it’s busy.” She said with a smile leaving him wonder if she were kidding or not.

They traded pleasantries until they got to Grand Central and both of them hustled quietly to the Metro North track as it seemed it waited for the 4 train from Manhattan to leave.

The talk on the Metro North train got a little more personal and after taking what seemed like a thousand big breaths, a nervous Bill asked her his big question.

“Jaye, do you think I could take you to dinner some night this weekend? I would really like to get to know you better. I’m not sure if you have a steady guy or anything, but I want you to know I would really like to see, besides on the train. That’s why I asked for your number. I’m no stalker, you know.” He said nervously with a chuckle.
Jamaica smiled at him, and then frowned a bit.

“That might be fun Bill, but first I have to ask you a few questions as she pulled up her purse and opened it to get a small note pad. What’s your full name and where do you live?”

Bill was taken aback at first but paused and said, “William Centofranchi, 2345 Ellendale Lane in Port Chester, NY.”

He looked very nervous as she jotted down the info as he spelled his name.

“Well, William Centofranchi, can you show me a picture ID with the same information on it?” She asked.

“Do we really have to do this? I thought we were getting along pretty well, you’re making the spontaneity go down the drain. Don’t you trust me?” Bill asked.

“Bill, look around at the men on this train. If this were a bar, how many do you think would try to buy me a drink?” Then she leaned in and said quietly, “How many do you think would “like” to get in my pants?”

Bill blushed wildly and sat back and lifted himself to get his wallet, producing a New York Drivers license with the same information he just gave her.

She looked at it closely and then asked, “Bill, are you married?” 
“NO.”
“Divorced?” 
“NO.”
“Been in trouble with the law, remembering, I can check this entire thing out?”
“NO!”
“Why doesn’t handsome guy like you have a woman to go home to?”

“Wow, I can’t believe you’re interrogating me.” He said in disbelief. “But, I suppose you can’t be too safe. I’m shy, and I’m picky. I got burned a few times in college, so I’m careful. Don’t think I don’t date, I do. I have a couple ladies who you might say are, . . um . . pursuing me. I like them, but there is something special I’m looking for and you seem to have it, I guess.”

“Is it my looks, my red hair, the fact I’m tiny, My . . . .”

“NO, NO, none of those things, and I do think you’re very pretty. It was the tone in your voice when you asked me for help that day. You weren’t needy, you looked to me as a fellow human being in this huge city. Then when you got your information you were friendly and considerate. You wanted to be friendly. You didn’t put up a steel curtain, like you just did, by the way, so I couldn’t get near you.” He said with a half smile.

“This wasn’t a steel curtain Bill, this is me protecting myself. It’s one thing to be travel pals and sharing the day’s ups and downs, it’s another thing to invite you to my home, inside closed doors and then go and be seen with you in public and then back to my home, whether we went to a movie or dinner. I don’t want a guy who’s going to be looking over his shoulder for a wife, or an ex-wife, or the police. I want to trust you.” She said reaching out and touching his hand, the first time she had touched him.

“My word isn’t enough? What if I want all of the same from you?” He said, obviously peeved.

“You can have all of that, once I see who you are. Is that fair? I WANT to take your word, but I don’t know you. Please understand. You want to come to my door, you know what I mean, don’t you?” She implored him.

“As much as I hate this, I suppose this is the 21st Century and we all have to be wary, but I’ll tell you it’s taken a lot of the excitement air out of the balloon, wanting to get to know you better.” He said disgusted.

“Look at it this way Bill,” She said taking his hand in hers and winking. “If I get to know you better this way, you may get to know me better faster in other ways.”

Bill looked at her in her eyes and smiled a bit, but said, “That is, if I think everything I learn about YOU is OK.”

“Of course, Bill. You know, I like you too, and I want to get to know you better and hoped you might ask me out. It’s just in my line of work there are also certain people I can’t cozy up to. You don’t work in the financial world do you?” She asked.

“No, I’m a manager for the Postal Service, in one of the Manhattan branches.”  He told her.

“Well, my stop is coming up so I better gather my stuff. Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow. How come I don’t see you in the morning?” She wondered.

“I have to be in my office by 6:00 a.m., that’s probably the reason.” He said chuckling as she got up as the train rolled to a stop.

“Goodnight Bill, TTFN.” She said as he got off.


Chapter 19 
 When Selena got off the elevator at the TV station Joe and a younger man in a suit were talking in front of the FNN logo on the wall. Joe turned and extended his arms and they hugged with Joe turning back to the other gentleman.

“Selena, I would like you to meet Seamus McHendry. He’s from Herzog, Morris, and McHendry. Mr. McHendry, my wife, Selena.” Joe said whisking his hand to each of them.

“Please, Seamus and Mr. McHendry are both all to formal, Call me Sam.” McHendry said as he took her hand and clasped it between his as a sort of handshake.

“Pleased to meet you, uh . . Sam. Is the Herzog possibly Will Herzog?” She asked.

“Why yes it is! Do you know him?”

“I believe he represents my firm, Wall Street Global Group.”

“Of course, of course, that was the major client he brought into the practice when we formed. When Joe said you worked for a Wall Street concern I never imagined. I do real estate and trusts, Will handles corporations, and Herschel Morris is our litigator.” Sam said.

“Do you think there’s any possible conflict here?” She said looking to Joe, but Sam cut in right away.

“No, not at all. Unless both parties benefit from a situation because of the relationship leaving a 3rd party wanting, or a law is broken, and that isn’t going to happen.” Sam said as Alexis came into the room.

“Can we all sit in a meeting room and pass around the pens?” Alexis said after a few handshakes and a hug to Selena.

“Ms. Konsantakis? No legal rep?” Sam asked.

“No, he read it over and showed me 3 things you might object to. I’ll initial the changes and that will be it.” Alexis said with a smile as they all sat at a table.

Alexis opened her copy and said, “I’ll go first, Page one, line 64?”

“Touché, we don’t prepay first and last, that’s for suburb dwellers.” Sam said seeing it was legal competition as both parties initialed.

“My turn now, Page 2 line 41?”

“Yup, that’s the one, Johnson’s don’t paint if we terminate after a year. It’s silly anyway, it’s all new now.” Alexis said with a chuckle as they initialed again.
“Can I give you a hint on #3?” Sam said obviously in a flirting tone, amusing Selena knowing that Alexis was open to it.

“Page 4?” Sam added.

“Line………………..24?” Alexis teased.

“Yes, the Fox lawyer must have been a classmate of mine,  “If EITHER party (get that word either in there and initial) does not exercise option to terminate between the 30th and 25th day to the end of the lease, said option is enforced.” Sam said emphatically.

“Seamus McHendry, if you want to form a legal team someday, be sure to call me.” Alexis said jokingly, but with a definite serious flirt tone as she passed on her card.

Alexis’ phone rang and she just listened, her face tightening at whatever news was being passed to her. Quickly Alexis grabbed Selena to leave the two men talking.

“Come, I want to get you into make-up and do a read for me. We had to do a re-write of the last update for the West Coast and Nikki already left, maybe you can pull it off? If not, I’ll have to do it, but I’m going out afterward and I don’t want the make-up hassle.” Alexis said as they both rushed off.

“Whoa, Lex, this is quick, I’m not even sure if I’m going to do this.” Selena said hesitating.

“Come on, you owe me one for the time you didn’t shoot 9/11.” She said with a smile hoping for the favor.

“Cute, Lex. I’ll run through it and see if you think it’s presentable.”

Selena sat in the make-up chair while the aesthetician lit her face and worked her magic. Selena normally wore little or no make-up, but under the bright lights, her nine year hiatus from life might show a little. On the monitor screen she watched and read along to herself for 3 video playbacks of the report she was to re-do with proper changes for the later West Coast broadcast.

“Your skin is beautiful, Miss, you just need to tighten up a few places and you’ll pass for 20 years old. See how I’ve smoothed you out, and that was just with over the counter products.” The middle aged woman with the Middle Eastern accent said.

“Thank you, My name is Selena, and yours?”

“Myrah. I’m here in this studio every afternoon after 4:30. If you need me before then, I’m on the other side of the building. I teach the make-up girls there and work the live shows.” She said coolly, as if she had the most boring job ever.

Selena smiled and nodded and began to read the script in a low voice, along with the video tape. After a second run through Myrah fixed the tissue bib around her neck and turned down the lights pointing to a director with a clipboard who seemed to be impatiently waiting.

“This way sweetie, sit there and look right into the camera. You’ll seem to be sitting low, the camera likes you like that. Put your script aside, the prompter will feed it to you.” He said as if he was bored.

“Hey! I’m NOT your sweetie and I’m here as a favor to Alexis and FNN. I don’t need the money and I can usually find better things to do with my time. Can we get clear on that? If not, you’ll be reading the West Coast feed yourself. OK?” She barked at him, getting short at his brusque treatment.

“Yes, ma’am I’m clear. Sorry, it’s been a tough day and I’ve had to set up 6 other readers and each was as bad as the next. Hopefully you’ll be the one, Um . . . . Miss Johnson.” He said slightly apologetically.

Suddenly an intercom opened on the set and Alexis’ voice boomed out loudly. “George, do we have a problem down there? I can send you back to the all night shift.”

“No, Miss Konsantakis.” The director said rolling his eyes. “It’s been a long day and a long line of . . . well, you heard them.”

“Let’s not lose our nice ways, OK? Ms. Johnson is a friend of FNN and me.” She responded.

He looked at Selena and gave her a quick smile. “I’m sorry, there’ll be better days, I promise.”

As Selena sat back down, with full crew moving on set, different from what she thought she would do, just an audition read through. A set manager of some sort went behind her and said “Arms down” and took off the make-up bib Myrah had tucked on. 
“Look in the camera,” He instructed as he held a light meter near her face.

“Be cheery; be happy, you can do this, Ms Johnson. Don’t drop your chin, face up” He said to encourage her as he walked away and nodded to George.

George hollered for quiet and then lights and began the count as Selena searched for her spot on the prompter. Once George pointed to her, the words flowed like peanut butter onto warm toast, feeling natural and remembering to be professional. At the break for the commercial drop-in George looked at her and said “Remember to smile big going out and coming in. Otherwise, you might have to reshoot and . . . . 7, 6, 5,”

George’s countdown and slashing finger cued her to finish the read, remembering to smile in and out. After she said the last word there was a pause before George shouted out “OK, that’s a wrap. Honey you, . . I’m sorry, Miss Johnson, please stay put until they screen it.”

Some 5 minutes later he apparently got an OK over the headset and told Selena she was done as he walked toward her.

“That was aces Miss Johnson, you did great. Where have you read before?” George asked, his demeanor suddenly changing.

“Here, 9 years ago, but I never got on.” She answered.

“Well, you should have. Your producer must have had a rough day.” George said, oblivious.

“Yeah, we all did that day.” Selena said as her voice faded.

She went back to Myrah’s chair and sat as Myrah let the back down.

“Close your eyes, dear.” Myrah said as she brought a large white cloth to her face.

Myrah gently used the dampened cloth to remove anything she had put on for the camera and lights saying, “There you’ve got that heavy stuff off and I can see your pretty face naturally. You have very nice features. I’m going to give you a couple bottles of cream that will tighten up a few of your worry lines. You really have a young face if you tighten up those lines.”

“Thank you Myrah, I’ll try them.” Selena said as she got up from the chair and saw Alexis walking toward her.

“I knew you’d be great, I want to use that for the West Coast. You’ll sign a one day contract, won’t you? Then tomorrow we’ll set up the agent and get you on a couple nights a week.”

“I’m leaving town for 2 weeks in a few days, we need a little stress relief and recharge since the ordeal ended, but, OK, I’ll do it. I’ll just have to kick George’s ass the next time he calls me sweetie.” Selena said with a chuckle.

Alexis leaned in so only Selena would hear, “He’s actually very good, the best director I’ve had since Manny left. He just gets bitchy when he’s either tired or just sick of the lines of bimbo’s we get sometimes. He’s been doing 5 or 6 auditions a day for a week now. Between Nikki Provost, who’s been on a lot lately, and you, I think I have a team and I’ve decided I’ll be the backup. I’ve used the weather girl from the local Fox affiliate once a week, but her agent doesn’t like it. I’ve worked myself into a good gig here and I’ve wasted so much time trying to fill this with interviews and auditions that I’ve let a few things skate, so I’m done.
I was hired to help write copy for ALL of the news division and financial editorial for here. Instead, they’ve got me slotted as production assistant up here in the afternoons once the new boss arrives. I can run this by myself, they don’t need this new guy, but I suppose I have to earn my stripes. If I do one night a week they’ll see I’m a team player, and if they say I’m too vital to do that, I’ll know I’m doing a good job.”

“So, when I come back from our vacation, I’ll do 2 nights a week, Tuesday and Thursday? Remember, I can’t get here until almost 4:45. Everything has to go right if you air it at 5:15.” Selena reminded her.

“That’s all right. I did it that way for 7 years at least 4 nights a week and I never missed it. I did it “live” a few times, because of no time, but we always made it.” Alexis reminded her.

“Give me the air times again.”

“At 5:15 on our financial network, it’s a drop in the 5:30 half of the 5:00 news across the network in all time zones, but that means it airs 3 hours later on the west coast, so if anything happens after the markets close, we sometimes have to edit or re-shoot. Today was the first in a long, long time.” She told her.

“Have the agent call me at work tomorrow, but tell him I am leaving town after the weekend for 2 weeks and I’ll see you here on that Tuesday, OK?” Selena said as they air-kissed and she went to find Joe.

She walked out to the elevator area and saw Joe sitting with Seamus in the sofa under the Financial News Network and Fox logo’s. 

“You did great! We saw the playback on the monitor out here. Now, let’s go home!”
Joe said bouncing up from the sofa to get on the elevator she had just called.
 
Seamus stayed back to, presumably, meet up with Alexis.

On the elevator Joe went to kiss Selena, but she stopped him. “You’re not going to like this.” She warned him.

“They can’t let you go to Jamaica?” He guessed.

“No! Lucy is in town and I invited her over, but, . . she wants to see me alone first and talk, and cry and go through some drama. Then I’ll get us both a cab back to our place.”

“Where is she?”

“At the Regency, can you drop me off? I’m so sorry Joey.”

“If she’s having a sexual crisis, remember you’re married.” Joe said disgustedly.
“Joe Johnson! Thanks a lot for giving me credit. You’ve screwed half of Manhattan and are alone all day long and you have the nerve to say that!” She spat out at him.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! It didn’t quite come out the way I wanted it to. I didn’t mean what you think. I meant that you’ve got a husband at home and he wants to have dinner with  you, spend time with you, we had a big day today; signing the lease, getting you on TV, and your other crisis, all that.”

“I hope you know me better that THAT!” Selena said patting Joes hand on the stick in his little blue sportster.

Joe pulled into the promenade of the Regency and Joe leaned over to kiss her and she kissed him back, apparently forgiving his faux pas.

“Order us something simple for dinner, a shrimp platter and maybe that cold cut and cheese platter with the little rolls, just have them make it for 3.” Selena said as she got out.

“Yes ma’am!” Joe said sarcastically, adding “It’s 6:45, I’ll order it for 8 o’clock.”

“We’ll be there by then, I promise.” She said as a bellman closed the door for her.

Selena had been through one too many heart wrenching reunions and she wished she was passed this one. She loved Lucy, but she was going to have to listen to all of the same clichés she and Joe had been hearing since they were discovered. She knocked on the door, holding her breath.

Lucy said nothing as it was obvious she had been crying in the past few minutes, at least. She only opened her arms and let Selena walk into them as they hugged tightly with Lucy hanging on as if someone were trying to pull her friend away.

‘Lucy, LUCY! Please, I’m not going anywhere. Let’s calm down and talk, OK?” She managed to say to get Lucy to let go.

Lucy grabbed tissues and finally at on the small sofa while Selena sat across from her.

“Let’s cut all of the reunion talk and get to where I’m most curious. Tell me about Jeromy, why he’s not here and what’s going on.” Selena said holding Lucy’s hand.

“I can’t cry anymore about Jerry. I did something so stupid that he may never forgive me. But it saved our marriage at the time. Please don’t judge me! I’m going to tell you the short version, that’s long enough, and you can ask questions later, just don’t hate me.”

“The two years after we lost you two were terrible for both of us. We both lost our jobs from all of the financial fallout caused by 911 in the travel and tourist industry. Neither of us was real happy with our jobs anyway, but they were jobs. Jerry had been booking travel packages and selling condos through a membership scheme, he hated when I called it that, it was all legal, but half the people he got in wanted to get out. It was only good if you went away 3 or 4 times a year and wanted to travel abroad. I was editing for a concern that published Travel and Food magazines. It sounded better than it was. I had been hoping to get into a writing thing, but after 911, it was dead end and they went belly up. We were both confident that we could get new jobs and didn’t change our life style much. After a year we were about 35K deep in credit debt, paying our car and home loans with instant cash checks from the credit card companies and paying the minimum payment from our unemployment and whatever we could sell in garage sales and ebay. 

I saw an ad in the paper for nude modeling and answered it without Jer knowing. The man I met for it asked a lot of questions and was bonkers over my body and my looks, saying they rarely got real “class” women to answer. Finally he asked me if I might be interested in doing adult videos, for real big money. He told me that another sister company of theirs did adult videos and I would be a great seller if I could perform. He made a phone call and the next day he called me back and said that his partner wanted to see me via Skype. He said they would give me $300 to strip and flaunt my body for this porn company. A few hundred would pay our minimum payments for another month, so I did it. I went to a hotel and did everything this guy asked me to in front of a webcam. Then he asked me questions about sex, did I like to give head, did I swallow, did I ever do anal, did I like girls etc. I was so embarrassed that I hated myself and when I got home that night I almost admitted everything to Jeromy, but he was especially down after looking for a job all day.

The next day I got a call from them and they offered to pay me 5K to come and shoot 3 scenes with them in California, all expenses paid. They gave me a couple days to think it over and when I called them back I told them that 5K was great money, but I was in deeper trouble than that and for 5K wouldn’t even nick the problem. It was tempting but being 35K and ever rising in debt and being 30 K and ever rising in debt were the same. They understood, even though they begged me to come out and maybe I could find more work then. I explained I was married and could never explain to my husband and they understood.

After another week they called me again and asked if I would meet them at a local hotel again. Against my better judgment I went. Both men were there with another porn actress to explain things to me. They told me if I could come to California and spend a week, doing 2 or 3 scenes a day, all hard core, they would give me 40K, all cash. It was then I realized how illegal a lot of this was in some states. They would give me 20K up front, and then the balance upon finishing. They told me if I skipped out with the 20K, they would have me killed, plain and simple. I knew they weren’t kidding around and it was obvious where the money was coming from.”

“LUCY, you’re scaring the SHIT out of me!” Selena said as Lucy fought off her words and begged to continue and finish.

“They said they would book everything and that they’d call me within a month. They explained not to deposit all of the cash at once, but to put it in the bank like $1500 a week. I did that and after 5 weeks they called me with instructions of how to pick up my plane tickets and what to pack and when to be there. I was very frightened but I had already started using the money to pay off bills so there was no backing down. I told Jer that The Toy Co was bringing me out there for an interview. Luckily their home office WAS out there and that all worked out, but I’ll get to that.” Lucy said catching her breath and sitting back as she got to the harder part of the story.

“Lucy, they gave you 20 thousand dollars after just seeing you strip and pose?” Selena asked suspiciously.

Lucy flushed and turned away and then with all the blood rushing from her face she admitted, “No, I had to give this guy a blowjob on the webcam for the director in California.”

Selena clenched her fists and looked down, not able to face Lucy as she went on with her story.

“When I got to California, a car picked me up and brought me to a home studio up in the Malibu Hills. They gave me contacts to change my eye color, henna tattoos, and real long extensions for my hair, and even birthmarks where I had none, while they covered mine. I had sex on camera for 3 or 4 hours a day for 7 straight full days.” She said as she began to well up.

Selena was still in her clenched fist pose and about to ask a question when Lucy put a hand up to stop her so she could finish what was becoming very hard.

“I had sex with women, men, 2 men, straight sex, gay sex, anal sex, oral sex, and masturbation sex with toys of all kinds.” Lucy said trying to finish without crying.

Selena stood up before her with face turning red and fists still clenched, she opened her hand and slapped Lucy as hard as she could before exploding.

“You stupid, stupid woman! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? You could have easily gone to my parents and borrowed the money and if you never paid it back they would not have cared. They knew what you meant to me! I cannot fucking believe you let your body be used like that! You were a prostitute! Obviously Jeromy found out, he . . . . .”

“STOP, I don’t need you to hate me too! If Jeromy had slapped me like that I would have felt better about the whole thing. That fucking hurt, but I had it coming. Please sit down and listen to me.” Lucy said holding her face and fighting back tears of pain.

“You would barely know it was me in the videos, with the tattoos, the birthmarks, the hair, and eyes, it was all deniable. They gave me the name Caren Swallow and the video series was a hit for them, releasing 7 movies over almost 4 years, but I got no residuals. But they released 7 features with me and some big name male star as the leads. Three years later Jeromy was none the wiser until a couple we know was having a good laugh over some porn star told Jer looked like me. They brought a video over one night and we all watched it together, having a good laugh. I tried not to act embarrassed and thought I pulled it off.
I went to bed later and Jeromy stayed up. When I got up in the morning he said he wanted to show me something and turned on the TV. He was playing the video and where the character gets up to go join her boyfriend in the shower she’s wearing a Magic Mountain super large t-shirt as a night shirt. Jerry had used a laundry pen to make a shirt I had say Magic Mountains, adding the S, with arrows on each side pointing to my boobs, I wore that shirt of my own, the one he made, in the scene without thinking. The date of the production was at the end and he compared it to the time 3 years earlier when I went to California. He never gave me a chance to deny and didn’t care that it solved all our money problems. I did GET a job with The Toy Co. as a warehouse manager back here, but he had to know I wasn’t making THAT kind of money. He said we would talk when he came home that night. When I came home from work, he and all of his stuff were gone. He had written WHORE on every picture of me in the house and on all of the mirrors.”

“So where is he now? Have you seen him, tried to reconcile at all?” Selena asked.

“I never really know where he is. He answers my emails, says he still loves me, but he hasn’t finished punishing me yet. If he finds I’ve had sex with any man or woman or have a relationship with another man or any woman, he will tell all of our friends about my porn career. So I never know if he’s close by, or if anyone who hits on me is sent by him. I only know he works in advertising representing some huge companies and sells and promotes with TV people.” She said still rubbing her face where the imprint of Selena’s hand was fading.

“So you’re still a warehouse manager for them?”

“No, I’m the National Merchandise Manager. I have a team of buyers working for me and make huge money, like I never thought I was capable of. Not one, and I mean NOT ONE PERSON ever saw those videos and thought it was me. A guy on my team once said he saw a porno with a girl who looked like a young skanky version of me, even asking me to show him tattoos I might have. I proved I didn’t have any where he thought and that was the end of it.” She said actually holding her head up proud of what she had accomplished.

“So, legally, you’re still married. He hasn’t strayed, as far as you know?”

“When I ask him he says that I’m the only adulterer in our marriage.”

“So how long is he going to keep this up?”

“I don’t know, but if he knows I’m in New York and seeing you two, and I bet he does, he might show his face. When he heard about you and Joe walking away and recovering, he added confessing to you as another provision of my punishment. I don’t have to tell Joe, but he knows you will. That email showed he was softening on his stance with me. I haven’t seen him since the week before Thanksgiving 2007. Almost 3 whole years. It seems he once wrote that 4 years may be his punishment time for me. He says he loves me and can forgive me, but maybe never trust me, fully. I can live with that, if he would just come back to me.” Lucy said, beginning to cry once again. 

“Do you think he’s been true to you?”

“He says he has, that he’s not an adulterer whore like me. I told him I could never love him if he continued to call me a whore. I made a mistake, a mistake that seemed like a savior for us at the time, and it did help us. I still feel, in many ways, that I made a sacrifice for the good of us as a couple. I could have done it differently, but what’s done is done, and I still love him, miss him, and want to see him.” Lucy said through her tears before she let the floodgates open and bawled uncontrollably for a moment before looking up to Selena to say, “He says he jerks off to my video’s, that’s how he’s been true to me. Somehow that makes me sick to think of him watching me with other men.”

“How often do you hear from him?” Selena asked.

“Almost every day now, we send an email back and forth. It used to be once a week, but now it’s all the time. Even when I don’t tell him, he knows where I am. I don’t know how, but he does. That’s why I know he’s probably in New York right now. God, Selena, I miss him and love him so much, but I want to beat the shit out of him for doing this to me. I mean, the reason I’ve probably been so successful at my job is because I know he’s checking on me all of the time and I really love what I do. We’ve never been so profitable, even in this shit economy, and I’ve instituted a lot of buying measures for certain areas and pinpointed advertising. If they ever move the CEO, or he quits or retires, I’ve got a real shot at it.” Lucy said perking up and suddenly showing pride and self confidence.

“Lucy, you said you made huge money. Just how much are you pulling down, if you don’t mind me asking?” Selena wondered aloud.

“I make around 300K and another 150K in incentives. We retailed about 750 Million last year with a final profit goal of 3.5 percent. We hit 6 last year. I get offers from other companies all the time, but I make enough and I’m happy, so I don’t even listen to the talk.” She said proudly sitting up seeming to become another, more confident person as she told her friend of her success. 

“So if Jeromy comes back today, just what do you say to him?”

“I tell him I’m sorry for deceiving him, I’m sorry for selling something that should never be sold. But I do remind him that the 3 years following the influx of cash it provided were the happiest years of our marriage after all the failings we had,  post 911. The pressure came off our relationship as we crawled out of debt and we began to enjoy life. I was able to put all the sins I committed in a neat compartment and never show guilt or remorse for it because of all the good it did for us. If faced with the same situation again, knowing how much I hurt him by deceiving him I would never do it, unless he told me I should. I’m not going to lie and tell him I hate myself for doing it, because as much as I try to, doing it was the key to all the success I have right now, except that I lost him over it. If he told me he wanted a divorce and wanted someone else, I would hate myself in retrospect. I know that’s all confusing and hard to swallow, but you know I’ve always been a bit flighty at times, except for one thing, Jeromy is all I ever wanted in a man, he is my soul mate and I can’t live without him. Even if it’s just through his emails, at least I have him. But, I’m not jumping through any more hoops for him. I’ve done everything I can to prove how much I love him and want him back. Really soon I will give him an ultimatum, we live the rest of our lives through email or he comes back by a certain day. I have to know what the final story is.”


“OK”, Selena said looking at her watch, “It’s 20 minutes till 8 and dinner is being delivered at our suite at 8, and you’re coming. You haven’t eaten yet have you?”

“No, I’ve paced the floors waiting for you to show up. A bite or two would be great.”

“Well, get dressed, Joe is waiting to see you. Call downstairs and get us a cab and tell them we’re just going to the Four Seasons, they’ll probably offer the shuttle.” She told Lucy as she looked for the bath to freshen up.

Chapter 20

The Recency Shuttle pulled into the Four Season Promenade almost exactly at 8 pm. Room service was just leaving the room as Selena and Lucy arrived. Lucy jumped into Joe’s arms and they both had their emotional reunion before Selena whined that the food was there and she was hungry. 

They engaged in small talk and then talk of Lucy’s career over dinner and wine. To each of them if felt like old times, another one of those moments where the 9 year lapse seemed a lost second in a random minute. Each of them sat back feeling stuffed as Joe reached back and turned on the coffee maker.

“Wow, I’ll have to visit the necessary room before I eat or drink another drop. I’ve been putting it off since we sat to eat, but it all looked so good.” Lucy said as she pushed away the stool she occupied at the kitchen nook. 

When Joe heard the heavy bathroom door click shut, he looked to Selena and said, “I don’t know the whole story, but you’ll have to fill me in. Jeromy called while you were over there and said there was a long sordid tale you had to tell me, but I wasn’t to say a word about him calling. He just wanted me to know that everything was fine with him and he thought all would be fine with the two of them, but it was a long, complicated, and embarrassing tale and that tomorrow he hoped everything would be back to normal and not to ask about it ever again. I can’t begin to tell you how confused I am. One more thing, who slapped Lucy? When she stepped under the light here I saw a handprint she tried to cover.”

“I did, and you’ll find out why soon enough. So Jeromy is going to be with her tonight?” She asked.

“Yes, he said he would knock on her door as soon as she got back from here. Get this, he was at Fox FNN studio the other night and saw you do the report. He was doing an ad contract and saw you on the monitor in the office. OK, mums the word, . .  I just heard her flush.” Joe said quieting his voice as he anticipated the bathroom door opening.

“Not that this evening hasn’t been a pleasure, seeing you both,” Lucy said as she came into the room, “But I’m going to call a cab and get back. I was up this morning at 5 to catch the flight here and I’m about ready to drop.”

Joe sprung up and told her to put her phone away and he would take care of it as Lucy sat down with Selena and held hands with her.

“So what are your plans for the next few days?” She asked Selena.

“I can barely keep track of the days right now. Tomorrow I have to begin to tie up things because we leave for vacation next Thursday right after Thanksgiving dinner with Joseph and Shanna.  I know that sounds a week away, and it is, but Saturday we move to our condo here in the city, Sunday we drive back upstate and pack for vacation. Monday we do our Thanksgiving with my parents and getting things square for us to leave. Tuesday morning I’m back at Wall Street for two days to map out some direction for a few things. Oh God, I haven’t even told you all that’s going on there, but let’s just say I’m up to my ass. Call me tomorrow.” Selena said trying to keep everything in short version format so Lucy would leave and get her surprise visit from Jeromy. 


A knock came to the door and when Joe opened it there was a bellman.

“Good evening Mr. Johnson, you have a guest who needs transport to the Regency?”

“Yes, she’s right here.”

“Any bags to transfer?”

“No, it will just be Ms. Bonacre.” Joe said.

“Joe, although we aren’t together right now, I still use Fillion. We’re still married.” Lucy said after hugging Selena and kissing Joe goodnight.


The door clicked shut and Selena faced Joe. “Does Jeromy think he’s going to walk in and rule the roost over her? If so, she has a few things to lay on him. He thinks he’s punished her, but he’s also given her lots of time to think.”

“You’re going to have to fill me in on this whole thing, because I am so confused over what they split over and why he’s coming back after so long.” Joe said shrugging his shoulders.

Although tired herself, Selena proceeded to tell Joe the whole story as she knew it after asking Joe not to question her until she was through. She was hoping to answer the morality questions in bed, where she wanted to be more than anything.

After hearing what she knew Joe kept up his end of the agreement and went through the apartment straightening, cleaning, and putting away, as they did every night before they went down. She finished her night time ministrations first and he joined her in bed not knowing what to ask her first.
 
“What do you think of her reasoning as to WHY she did it?” Joe asked cautiously, knowing he had his idea already.

“THAT’S where she got the slap across the face! For being a whore who need only ask my parents for the money to get themselves right.” Selena said ready to defend herself.

“That she so easily sold herself for money, and a good sum of money, bothers me too. Surely she knew that if we were available we would have helped her, but if the fact your parents never crossed her mind, she wasn’t thinking straight.” Joe said in agreement.

“Think of the fact that after she got the first 20K they threatened to kill her if she skipped out. How did she know they wouldn’t kill her anyway? I mean she had plenty of time to tell someone about it all, but she played with fire.” Selena said sitting right up in bed to turn to Joe to make her point. “Obviously these people are mob connected!”

“How does she feel about it besides shame?”

“Well, this is where her thought process bothers me, and it may bother Jeromy if she tells him. After their bills were paid up and she DID get a job with The Toy Co while out there, Jeromy found work and she said the next three years were the happiest years they had as a couple. She figures if he never saw the video and figured out what happened they would be no worse for the wear. She was able to totally put the whole thing out of her mind as something she had to do to make things right for them. The guilt he made her feel after finding out is the only guilt she feels. Plus, I can tell you that if he comes back with an attitude of her being a whore and a cheater, she won’t have him until he respects her. She didn’t say that in as many words, but I know her well enough to read the writing on the wall in her tone.” Selena said bringing her knees up to lean on and speak to Joe.

“She feels like she carried the heavy load to get them out of debt, no matter what it took?” Joe surmised. 

“For sure.”

“So how’s the toy job working for her now?”

“Wait until you hear this. She’s the National Merchandise Manager for them and has a team of buyers working for her, like she never thought she was capable of. She makes around 300K plus another 150K in incentives. They retailed about 750 Million last year with a final profit goal of 3.5 percent and her strategies netted them a full 6 percent. They love her and she gets offers all the time.”

“I’m impressed. All of that, plus she’s still a very attractive woman, who I am sure gets hit on all of the time. I mean, I more than noticed that the years had been very kind to her.” Joe said, knowing it might get a reaction from Selena.

“She would probably hurt you, old man. Why do you think I take it so easy on you?” She said steeling her face to hide the smile she wanted to show.

Joe saw the grin hiding but played along saying, “And I thank you for that so I have more strength for my concubines I have during the day.”

“If I thought there was a whisper of a chance of that, your balls would be the knocker on the door.” She smiled.

“Don’t think I don’t know that.” Joe said firmly, knowingly.

“I love you, AND, I see my gyno tomorrow at lunch time. There’s a pharmacy right in his building. You’ll be able to splash my ovaries by the time we get to Jamaica on Thursday.” She said before she leaned to him and kissed him on the forehead, the top of her pajama shirt opening enough for one breast to fall halfway out.

Joe caught the nipple in his mouth before she could back away, and she groaned.

“Ooooo, you know what I like!” She squealed as she opened one more button and leaned back to offer him more.

“Fuck Joey, you’re making my pussy run like crazy.”

“You can feed that to me too!” He said as he switched nipples and chewed the other bud.

Selena shuddered and pulled back from Joe throwing down her covers and sliding her bottoms off before bouncing up and straddling Joe’s face. His tongue wiped her lips clean of any fresh dew as she reached down and stroked his temples while cooing loudly.

“GOD GOLLY, you suck my clittie so well! Eat it baby, eat it!” She demanded as Joe went to town licking her, satisfying her.

His tongue was up her quim as far as he could force it when she began to bear down on him and start an orgasm that piqued quickly causing her to want to retreat but Joe’s hands came up and gripped the firm halves of her butt and kept her at his mercy for another 10 or 15 seconds before he could hold her no more.

“AHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!” She hollered uncharacteristically loudly, usually trying to keep the noise down at night as she rolled almost over straight back.

Joe licked his lips and chuckled at the ruckus she had caused, always surprised at the intensity of her orgasms.

“Are you OK, my pet?” He said in a craggy old man voice, “I tried to take it easy on you, being the OLD MAN that I am.” Getting back at her jibe from just before.

“Holy sweet shit! I thought I was going to have the big one there!” She said giggling and still at a loss of breath.

“Bring that delicious penis to me down here, I can’t move.” She whispered.

Joe was already up and kneeling beside her. 
“I’m right here Essy, is this what you want?” He said holding his half staff manhood in his hand.

She smiled her sexiest smile and made a kissing motion with her lips.

Joe moved and straddled a leg over her, his knees almost in her arm pits, leaving the tip of his cock just inches from her lips.

“Feed me, then fuck my mouth; let me feel you run over my tongue.”

Joe’s cock jumped at her words as he leaned up and put the tip in her reach. She clasped her lips over it and teased in around and around as he rose to full staff.. When he could take no more teasing tongue lolling he fell forward a bit and let his dick slide half way into her mouth. She closed her eyes and hummed a loud approval as her mouth hollowed and sucked him. Her hands grasped his butt halves and pulled him toward her mouth, deeper inside. Joe knew what she wanted as he began to gently move in and out of her mouth, while she sucked and busily moved and worked her tongue and cheeks.

Joe’s breathing quickly became stilted and they both knew he was getting close, fast. The excitement of seeing her in full orgasmic regalia certainly helped in having him ready, but giving up her mouth to satisfy him like this was always a favorite of his, from his pre-Selena days. Although then, when he did it, this was showing him what a whore his partner was, willing to have her mouth fucked as if it were a pussy. But here, he saw it as a supreme act of love.

“I’m going to cum, lover!” He warned her if she didn’t want to possible choke on his eruption.

But as he slowed his movement in her mouth she lifted her mouth to get deeper on him.

“Ahhhhhhh!” He wailed as he spurt in her mouth and she worked her mouth tightly over him as she swallowed.

“Ohhhhh Goddddd, you’re so amazing!” He cried out as she continued swallowing hard, gulps he could hear.

He stopped moving and she continued to tease the tip of his prick as little streams of semen still trailed off onto her tongue. When the salty-sweet taste stopped she kissed the tip and moved her mouth away to smile at Joe.

“That was so sexy, so wonderful. You came so hard and so fast. Something must have got you going. I can’t imagine what.” She said devilishly with a giggle.

A few big city blocks away Lucy was walking up the hall to her suite. She had to get some final sales figures for her meeting Friday and then get to bed. Being with Selena and Joe had got her juices going and her pussy was already running wet, knowing her panties were soaked whenever the cold wet silk pressed to her.

In the back of her mind she was deciding what fantasy she would run through her mind as she played tonight. She already decided on her Blue Devil Double as the toy of choice. It had an 8 inch beaded prong that went up her rear hole and a thin, but wide dilly that went up her snatch. She had fallen asleep with that in her on more than one occasion. 

Most of her fantasies were of Jeromy and never of any of the men, or women, she had sex with in her 7 days in the adult video industry. Although she didn’t have to fake orgasms in that week, she actually felt no bond whatsoever for any of the people she worked with. In her mind it was simply work and she never had a wish or fantasy for anyone she was with then.

As she finalized the sales figures for her presentation she noted that the top DC (distribution center) in the Northeast was the one in Portland, Maine. When she saw the word MAINE, she instantly thought of her first real love, Phineas, who took her oral virginity one summer up there. She often recalled the night when he became the first man she had ever tasted. Not just his penis, but his semen too. That night was so beautiful to her, she relived it each time she went down on her partner, and there had been lots whom she had tasted. That would be the fantasy she would relive as she pleasured herself tonight. 

She closed up her computer, chained the door, put out her clothes for Friday, and slipped into a small teddy that didn’t close at the crotch if you didn’t please to. It was satin and when it touched her nipples the coolness perked her buds and started the waterworks below. She took her toy of the night out of her suitcase and the little tube of KY she kept and set the toy in the bed she had just pulled back. She hurried like an excited school girl to the toilet and voided her bladder, carefully wiping herself dry, on the outside at least. She squeezed a dollop of KY on her index and middle finger and reached under herself as the toilet provided a good opportunity to access her tight asshole. She wiped the fingers over her little crater, using her middle finger to rub around it and then push in, causing her to shudder, but she kept pushing the KY in until she was satisfied she was ready.

She wiped her fingers clean and then washed her hands carefully to be sanitary. She was ready for a hot sexy send-off into slumber-land. She had just placed a knee on the bed to slide into the sheets when there was a loud knock on the door.

“Fuck!” She thought to herself, “Who could THAT be? It’s too late for turn-down service and unless I checked the wrong box, I only ordered room service coffee for the morning.”

She slipped on her nightgown and went to the door to peek through the peep-hole.

“Jeromy!” She shouted through the door ready to whisk it open, but she stopped.

“What are you doing here?” She asked through the door.

“I’m your HUSBAND, remember?” He said sarcastically.

“My husband wouldn’t have ran off on me for three years without so much as a chance to talk and defend myself for something I did.” She said, starting to well up.

“Consider WHAT she did!” He answered.

“She sacrificed her morals and her promise of fidelity in order to save our floundering marriage. The 3 years after I did it were the happiest days we had. I hated what I did, but it fixed us, it fixed everything. I can go through life without thinking about it for one second, it meant nothing to me. The only thing I can’t do is go through life without you. But if you throw this up in my face all of the time and call me a whore then don’t bother coming back. That’s not the man I married.” She said taking her stance through the door.

“You don’t think you did anything wrong?” He asked.

“Yes, I did. I said I was sorry to you more times than I can count. But, you have to understand that I couldn’t feel guilty living with that secret because of all of the good it did for us. A man runs back into a burning building to save his wife, or his child. He’s putting everything on the line because he loves them and being without them will hurt more than the heat of the fire. If you can’t accept that, and I’m not asking you to like it, just accept that, then we shouldn’t be together.” She said crying.

“Open the door Lucy!” Jeromy said crying. “I can’t go another second without you. I was supposed to be punishing you, and I was punishing myself. I want to be your husband and pick the pieces. Please Luce!” He begged.

Lucy undid the chain and slowly opened the door. Jeromy stood there with tears running down his face as if he had been beaten in a fight.

“Please accept me back and I will accept you back. We were both stupid in so many ways. I let my ego get in the way of common sense. May I come in?” Jeromy asked as a beaten man, a man who had beaten himself into a corner thinking he had the upper hand.

He suddenly realized she had to take him back and all of the male bravado in the world wasn’t going to change that.

Lucy opened the door and Jeromy took one step in and she jumped in his arms, holding him tightly, her head resting on his shoulder. “There was never a question as to whether I loved you.” Jeromy said. “I was just hurt, and over time I hurt more knowing that you took it upon yourself more than any other reason. I’m sorry I was so mean to you and I’ve played this stupid game.”

“Let tomorrow be the next day. Let’s just put it all away. I love you and want to enjoy the rest of my life with you.” Lucy said.

“Can I sleep with you tonight?” Jeromy asked.

“You’ll just have to kick my lover out of bed.” Lucy kidded as she pulled him by the hand to the bedroom, her Blue Devil Double on the pillow.

“Oh, sorry to interrupt you. Were you that involved, or had you just finished drinks?” He kidded.

“Ummm, I have KY melting and running out of my butt. We were way past drinks.” She giggled.

“I have to shower. Carry on and I’ll catch up to you.” Jeromy said kissing Lucy and patting her on her butt.

Jeromy was so glad to have gotten things off of his chest and to have seen and held Lucy again he rushed through his shower just washing his hair, genitals and read end. As he dried he heard soft moans from the other room and when he opened the bathroom door its ambient light lit the bed where Lucy lay.

The athletic Lucy was there with both legs bent up and a hand working the Blue Devil feverishly in and out of her pussy and asshole while her other hand pinched and squeezed her nipples.

“That’s my kinky baby! You couldn’t wait for me?” He asked as her face had turned white while trying to shake her head “no”, but she was too deep in orgasm to respond.

The sight before him brought his lonely cock to quick attention, watching her deep in orgasm and her body seeming to just quiver as if being shocked electrically, except her hand plunging the toy in and out of her holes. He grasped his suddenly aching cock thinking he might take the toy away and finish her, but she seemed too deep into what was happening. Her eyes though, were now glued to his cock, as she pursed her lips toward him.

He knelt on the edge on the bed and scooted beside her face where she was craning her neck to get close to his cock. One final move of his put it right into her mouth, her lips went over him taking him deep, but she was so involved otherwise her neck movements were jerky and uncoordinated.  While on one knee he brought his other foot to rest on the other side of her pillow where he could thrust at her mouth. 

She sucked hungrily at him as he moved in and out of her mouth as her own body was peppered with her own orgasms. It had been so long for Jeromy that he wasn’t going to last more than a couple minutes and he wasn’t going to do anything to delay his end.

Jeromy groaned from deep inside his gut. He hadn’t gotten himself off in almost a month, waiting for the right time to reunite with Lucy. He had hoped to deposit his pent up “load” in the conventional way, but seeing her pleasuring herself with so much gusto had him ready in a few minutes. He pulsed 3 volleys of pre-cum and semen into her mouth before she began to let it flow out, not being able to swallow that fast as it interrupted her own orgasm. She coughed once around his fat cock and began to swallow what else he was ejaculating as she quit her own play and brought her hands up to stroke him and playfully squeeze his balls.

“Whoa, THAT was a surprise. I didn’t expect you to let me continue diddling around, but obviously the visual was a welcome sight for you!” She said laughing and wiping cum from her chin and neck.

“I planned on filling you with cum, but this was spontaneous, and wonderful, I might add.” He said slumping back onto his haunches.

“Let me turn the pillow over so we can sleep. Tomorrow is for fucking and talking. I’m so tired, just let me fall asleep holding you.” She said, almost groggily.

“How about less talk, more fucking. We have to get back to where we were before we both screwed things up. I don’t want to discuss it anymore, just get back to us being, . . US!”  Jeromy said as he too was ready to drop.

Chapter 21

Friday morning was a hectic time for Selena as she struggled to make time for everything she had allowed to get on her plate. Tomorrow was move day, but today was her next to last day at WSGG for 2 weeks and she wanted to be sure all was running smoothly before she left. She would be there Tuesday and Wednesday mornings, but that time would be clearing commitments she had already compiled. She was going to use web cast to pipe into the Sunday Night Letter Meeting from their home Upstate, but she still felt uncomfortable leaving so soon after asserting herself so forcefully. However, she felt sure that she had righted the ship sufficiently that everyone has renewed vitality toward their goals.

She hadn’t forgotten Jamaica and the first chance she had to slip into her office she did.

“So, did you confront your gentleman caller with a request for information?” She asked.

Jamaica blushed, “Yes, I did. I felt a little funny, like I was interrogating someone, but the more I got into it, the more I understood why it was necessary. I really had no info on him at all, and really didn’t know WHO he was. He was insulted a bit at first, but as my questions went on, he seemed to understand more. He challenged me to give him the same information and I told him he was certainly entitled and he would get it as soon as I checked him out.” She said as she handed Selena the notes she had taken on her “Bill”, one William Centofranchi.

“Let me take this and get back to you later on. I’ll be sure to get to it before you leave today, just I have so many loose ends to tie up, please be patient with me.” Selena said as she took the notes and slipped out and into her office.

Selena requested “no calls” for a half hour so as to tweak the many irons she had in the fire before she left for her Thanksgiving and vacation. As she made notes for her contribution to the Saturday Night Letter she kept looking away at the jottings Jamaica had made about her man interest. Finally her interest was piqued to distraction and she pushed aside her business notes and dug into the information Jamaica had given her.

Bill Centofranchi was just as he presented himself. He was a career employee of the USPS, a supervisor or manager of a downtown facility. He had no criminal record, not even a traffic ticket. He had never been married, had no debt, and owned his own home. He did not have a passport, was a member of The Elks and served 4 years in the Army as a supply coordinator and facilitator during the first Gulf War. He was 32 years old. He had worked 2 years as a sort clerk at The Post Office before he asked for a leave to join the Army after 911. After he returned in 2005 he was put into a management training program that rushed his career along. If he had skeletons in his closet, they were well hidden. He didn’t appear to have Facebook or Twitter accounts; however, his name came up repeatedly in the Facebook pages of 2 Long Island women. He appeared to be a very conservative man with few interests outside of work, who apparently had spent ski and beach weekends with 2 particular women who lived or worked nearby. With all of the resources Selena had at hand to ferret out dirt on someone, he appeared to be a very safe, and good, catch for any woman. 

Once she was satisfied she had done her due diligence for Ms Browne she picked up her intercom and rang Ross Curran.

“Ross, do you have a moment? I’d like a private word.”

“Anytime Selena. I’m free at the moment.” He answered.

Before she could do another thing she pushed herself from her desk and, leaving the privacy light on her office lit, she closed the door and knocked lightly on Ross’s door and went in.

“Ross, ease my mind that while I’m away you’ll take a new interest in Ms. Browne and be sure she is aware that we are keeping tabs on her. Her epiphany has brought her back to what you thought was advertised, but I have been very heavy handed with her and tried to be a confidante, with her still knowing I am her superior. If she slips up again I will encourage a NO vote on her partnership, even knowing how much it will cost us. I just can’t babysit with her while trying to get back into my own groove.” Selena said while doing her best not to sound too self important.

“My dear, I can assure you that I was truly embarrassed by her whole situation that WE let get out of hand. Her manipulation of the core here was no accident and we know what she is capable of. I agree that one slip of that renewing would mean she could never be trusted. I will be sure that each of us sees her daily to continue to encourage her.” Ross said confidently.

“I can tell you that she IS a good person, and every bit the intellectual commodity you thought you were cultivating. She fell victim to this city, and we all know how easy that is to happen. When I brought all of that to a grinding halt I really think she wanted to be saved from the runaway train she was riding. I just don’t want to see her slide backwards. She may be entering a relationship and that will certainly center her. Also, let’s get her fully involved in the Sunday Night Letter.” Selena added.

Ross smiled and looked for a paper on his desk and held it up. “Great minds think alike, I have an assignment for her right here. I’m asking her to write a profile of herself and to explain her financial philosophies. I’ve written a preface for her that explains to our subscribers that she may be joining our team as a partner and that she has already made contributions to our member base. You see Selena, this transition to the team was easy for you, and you’re an old soul inside, your values, beliefs, like that. She is like a Facebook version of you, using the new media and technologies to color her thoughts. Now, this is not a bad thing. We NEED that kind of thinking and I believe she could influence others here in many ways. She just needs to establish the trust. She schemed, and that was bad.”

“I think you have to stop right there Ross.” Selena said, trying to think ahead of Ross. “I will back her and support her 100%. What she did before was a by-product of the drugs and alcohol in her system. They made her a desperate person. She, on her own, sought out help on a website called “Are you Dependant?” Wanting to help yourself is a great sign and it, the site, humbled and shamed her greatly. It shook her from who she was to who she really is. Her pride and ego were smashed by what she found out. Instead of making a cry of woe is me, she battled hard to show me who she really was. I believe in her, but I also believe that she is close enough to her turnaround that she should be monitored.”

“Selena, in your absence I will be sure to run things as I have in the past and you might in the future.” Ross began. “Having you to lift the yoke from me of the organization and leadership of this group has freed my mind in many ways that will help our cause. Just keep in mind that this position is neither voted on or to be appointed to. I know I led you into it, but you saw how easy the others let you cede the power. You earned that long ago, and in just these few days lived up to the reputation, I should say, the legacy, you had here. I know you saw the portrait and script with it and it embarrassed you, as well as humbled you to tears. I don’t miss much here. Just know that our love and respect for you was, and is, sincere.  Having you snuffed out so cruelly let us know how much we missed and depended on you, knowing how much of the future we would lose without you. We had lost some direction and when you walked in the door this week it was like everything was back on track. It was then I realized that you held the direction of the firm in your hands.”

Selena fought hard to hold her emotions back during Ross’s words, but she could no longer hide her tears and trembling lower lip. Through a broken voice and thinning ability to make words come out, Selena said, “Ross, you have no idea what it was to be where I was, to have everything trapped inside me, and to be here before you like this hearing your words. Even my Joe . . . . . .” 

Her tears and emotion caused her to stop and Ross Curran stood and went to her chair and knelt beside it on one knee to put an arm around her and comfort her.

“Let your emotions flow, it’s the best thing. You don’t need to put it in words, I understand much more than you think. I’ve smelled the burning flesh of the fires of hell captured in Vietnam and wondered what my own would smell like when my time came. A moment later I was wrapped in a tarp, thrown into a helicopter and before my mind could separate reality, torture, and who’s control I was under. Rescued, I was on my way home.” Ross told her as his own emotions began to get the best of him.

The two cried together before they began to compose themselves and look at each other.

Ross finally spoke. “You get out of here today, enjoy a true Thanksgiving, and enjoy your trip to your paradise in Jamaica.”


“Oh, I will enjoy, you can be sure of that. Another thing you can also be sure of, whether it’s me at the helm, or any one of us under this roof today, this firm will always respect the standards that you and the others who founded it have stood on. No one person or any one event will ever change that.” Selena assured him.

“I know that. Why do you think I’ve chosen you to hand the reins too?” Ross said with a smile.

Selena stood and hugged him, then kissed his cheek and wiped away a tear he had left. She quietly went back to her office where her intercom just began to ring.

“Ms. Johnson?” Deneigh asked and waited for Selena to acknowledge her.

“Yes, Deneigh.”

“That’s 30 minutes no calls, do you need more time?”

“No, that was sufficient. Do I have any calls to return?”

“Yes, Alexis Konsantakis would like to you to call her ASAP.
Also a message from an admin-assistant at The Toy Company calling for Lucille?
She had your private number so I assume you know her. Simply, the message is “All is fine”. I have the call back number for Ms. Konsantakis, would you like me to try her?”
Deneigh asked.

“No, I can get it. Deneigh, make sure you call the agency and begin to find the replacement for you. I want you on this side of the door by Spring. Let’s not put it off any longer. Understood?” Selena said firmly hoping she might finally stop procrastinating on the task.

“Yes, Ms Johnson.” Deneigh answered in quiet resignation that this step had to be taken to move forward in her career.

Alexis Konsantakis phoned barely rang once when she answered frantically.

“Oh, thank God you called! I’d forgotten the agent for the Fox Weathergirl is the same one I set you up with. He signed you to a 7 day deal until you can meet with him in person, and then he informs me that his Fox client will no longer do it for me and she is scheduled for tonight. This is a huge favor, I know you’re moving and getting ready to go on vacation, but . . . . please, please, please??”

“Stop begging for God’s sake, Lexie! Why don’t YOU just do it?” Selena said, peeved she was called on for a “one time” type favor twice in two days.

Alexis sighed loudly before she spoke. “I’ll tell you the blunt truth. If I do it, by the time I get make-up off and shower I’ll miss a date I set up for tonight. It’s more of a booty call than a date. I’ve flirted with this producer, and he with me, for the past 2 weeks and he’s going west until the new year on the red-eye tonight. I haven’t been good and laid in a few months and I’m soaked just thinking about it. Is that honest enough?”

“Holy crap Alexis, you don’t hold anything back, do you? If that’s the case, I’ll do it, but you owe me big time. I’ll be there as soon as I get out of here tonight. God, do change your panties, you’ll have dogs humping your leg if you go out like that.” Selena said with a chuckle as she hung up. 


She smiled to herself as she dropped Joe an email to his phone so he knew she would be a few minutes late. She gathered her information on Bill Centofranchi and went to Jamaica Browne’s office and knocked before entering.

“I would say this guy may be a real good catch. Seems to be very stable, ethical, and hard working. That’s not to say he won’t want to dress in leather and thrash you with a buggy whip, but there’s no way to find that stuff out, but I’m guessing that’s low risk. You’ve done your due diligence and now you just have to go slow and be careful. I’m guessing he wants a relationship, not a roll in the hay. It looks like he has a couple prospects pursuing him for that, but he doesn’t seem to want to commit to either. I got that from Facebook entries.”

“You can get into Facebook accounts without friending?” Jamaica asked astonishingly.

“In our business there are a few go-arounds we can use for investigative purposes. I can make myself anyone’s friend. It’s an old divorce lawyer’s trick. Not ethical, but we’re talking lawyers here. I just picked it up, there was no Facebook when I left before.” Selena said, not wanting to say anymore.

Jamaica thanked Selena for her help and floated on air the rest of the day with the prospect of dating Bill. It was the first time she had been attracted to a man where sex wasn’t the main attraction. He was older, and seemed worldly, but mostly honest. She really felt that what he projected was the real deal. She only hoped he was still interested after her “questioning”. She looked forward to her ride home that night.

Selena still felt she was getting up to speed with the markets and hoped to spend the afternoon in study of trends of major stocks, oil, silver, and gold. She felt learning the trends before applying the political ramifications would give her a clearer picture of what was a true trend and what was knee-jerk reaction to socio-political news. Just as she was settling into her routine the all stations page opened on her phone.

“In the Great Room in 5 minutes, called by Mr. Fountain.” Deneigh’s voice rang clearly
in each office.

In most cases to call a partner forum there would be consults and double-checks to assure mutual importance, but when you heard the “called by” it usually meant the request was urgent. If it were called by a “junior” partner, Deneigh might have run it by Ross Curran, or now Selena Johnson, before making the call out. But hearing Trace had called the forum, you knew it was immediately important.

A few minutes had barely passed when you heard doors opening and the clicking of heels on the hardwood floor before feet settled into the carpet under the meeting table. Selena opened her door and looked directly where Deneigh usually perched for such meetings and saw a steno setting up, and Deneigh seated at the table. When she caught her eye Selena winked at her. There was no need for Deneigh to record the meeting and miss the gist of it. She should sit in and be part of the forum if she were to become a partner.

Selena settled into the armed chair and set a legal pad out when she felt a presence behind her. She turned her head and Ross Curran leaned to whisper, “Deneigh heard you, this time. I think she’s getting it, finally.” Selena smiled and nodded and when she turned back she saw Ross had placed his gavel in front of her. She closed her eyes for a moment and almost bowed to the definitive step this would be, showing everyone that she was going to drive the team.

Looking up she saw every participant was there and she quietly, but firmly dropped the gavel, instantly silencing the room.

“Mr. Fountain, you’ve called us together, proceed.” She said firmly.

“Thank you Ms. Johnson. There’s going to be big news at the top of the one o’clock hour about the Euro and it’s stability. The ripple effect will take little time to make itself known on this side of the pond for sure. Fear drives bad decisions and to make much more of this than is necessary will spawn a lot of fear. We should worry about Greece until they get propped up, but Germany will drive the Euro’s stability as they won’t bend from their strict monetary policies and will take great effort not to panic the taxpayers. We’re going to hear in the next few weeks how the Euro will fail, or how some countries may try to convert out of it, but I think it’s all premature. The ECB (European Central Bank) will be able save the banks by offering unlimited liquidity for long duration against a broader range of collateral. As I see it that should hold things stable for the foreseeable future. Greece is not every European country as the media wants to portray. Making an outright statement to our subscribers may cause a bit of panic. But any of your portfolios you follow that would be greatly influenced by the action of the Euro should be watched. If the Euro is in demise, it will be a slow process, and it won’t be blind, it won’t be a surprise. I just don’t think the ECB will let it happen.”

Trace Fountain looked out over the gathered partners and looked for reaction. Selena was first to speak up.

“Mr. Fountain, no one at this table can speak more authoritivly than you when speaking of the ECB and the Euro. Like the average investor we all read the panic that the media is trying to create to make our dollar look better, despite the fact it’s backing may not be as firm as the Euro’s. I agree that I see no reason to make a blanket statement, but we should all check our folios for anyone who might feel the pressure of the threat. I’m not sure if I’m as assured as you of the future of the Euro, but I do cede to your knowledge of those markets. Does anyone at the table feel we should make a statement?”

The table was quiet, but Slim Beepo raised a hand and stood.

“Mr. Beupour, the floor is yours.” She nodded to him.

“If I may suggest after many years of working foreign money markets. Read the blogs, study The Economist, and you’ll get a clearer picture. Working on the floors of other exchanges, I can tell you that Mr. Fountain has a better grasp of what’s happening there than most everyone in Washington. Just make sure you make yourself knowledgeable of the situation. Remember we deal in stocks and futures, gold, oil and the like. We don’t usually deal in a currency that props up a good deal of the financial world. Read and learn.”

Trace Fountain stood and pointed to Slim. “Listen to this young man, his words are wise. Know, know, know. This is going to be something we will deal with for a long time to come and we may have to deal with the Dollar in some of the same ways in the future.”

Suddenly the table broke out in hushed mutterings to whomever they sat next to while nodding agreement. Selena dropped the gavel one more time.

“If this is all we need to deal with at the moment I suggest we adjourn. Is there any other business?” Surprisingly, Jamaica Browne stood up.

“If I may have a quick word?” She said quietly.

Selena nodded to her.

“It may seem a small thing, but since I’ve been here you’ve all been patient, more than patient with me, and I thank you for that. I promise you, there will be no more reasons for me to try your patience. I have been known in college as Jaye, J-A-Y-E. I would like to drop my formal name Jamaica and become Jaye. I’m sure you will respect Jaye much more than you did Jamaica. A small thing, I know, but it’s important to me.” Jamaica said before sitting down.

“That is all fine Ms. Browne,” Selena said, “and I assure you we all welcome Jaye Browne to our fold and look forward to her contributions to the partnership should she further pursue that end. Let’s gavel this done and ask the steno to present a copy of the minutes after lunch.

 With that, it’s almost 12:30 I think we can all break a few minutes early for lunch. Be aware I’m not here Monday and remember to finish any business with me next Tuesday and Wednesday morning. After that I’m gone for a couple weeks.”


To a man, each partner came over and wished her well as it had become obvious she was taking the reins from Ross. John Branniff and Trace Fountain had their “turns” at the helm in the past and didn’t enjoy the time. Ross had been the “go to” guy for almost 11 years and he had tired of it and knew he had slipped on a few decisions and was glad to cede to Selena.

Despite it being Friday Selena was surprised to see most of the partners sitting in the great room with bagged lunches from home. Friday was usually a “go out” day but apparently with the Holiday week coming everyone felt obligated to stay in, even though it was understood that business was never spoken over lunch. Jaye Brown had opened a TIME magazine in front of her and others had begun to read over her shoulders a story of a possible Republican contender for the Presidency.

Selena had thrown on her coat and excused herself saying she hadn’t brought a lunch and was going to the corner sandwich shop.

“Selena!” Jaye Browne called out causing her to turn on her heel.

“Here, catch!” Jaye hollered as a sandwich flew through the air towards her.

She caught the sandwich and looked back quizzingly.

“Go ahead it’s PB & J on sourdough. I made two and I’ll never eat them, I may have a dinner date tonight.” Jaye said with a smile.

“Are you sure? I can go out and get something, although I haven’t had PB & J in years and it sounds good.”

“Take of your coat and stay, you have enough on your plate.” Jaye said smiling as she turned back to her magazine.

Selena nodded to her and set the sandwich on the table while she brought her coat back to her office. “Amazing!” She thought to herself, “If this woman’s change in attitude and outlook is at all the least bit phony, she’s got me fooled to my core. This was truly a friend to friend gesture from someone who I was resolved to terminate and I told in no unglowing terms to her face what I thought of her.”

Since Jaye sat alone with empty chairs on either side of her while a few others paired off to eat, Selena sat beside her after getting a bottle of water from a courtesy cooler between two offices.

“I’ve already told you,” Jaye began in a low almost whispering tone, “But I can’t thank you enough for jolting me awake. I can’t believe who I was and who I was turning into. This was all I wanted for the past 5 years and I was throwing it away.”

“Jaye don’t dwell on it, and thank yourself for coming to the realization. Focus on the ground you have to make up and the partner’s votes you still have to win. Be yourself and it will all come together.” Selena said quietly as she felt someone over her shoulder.

“Is this the cool kid’s lunch table, or can I sit with you.” Slim asked.

“This would have been the geeks table.” Selena said as Slim pulled out the chair on the other side of Jaye.

The long conference table that seated 18 was now a table of unlikely brown-baggers broken up into 3 cliques. John Branniff, and Trace Fountain were trying to solve the New York Giants problems, Deneigh and Ross Curran were discussing a revival play she had just seen, while the 3 newest members had just settled into light conversation. The fact all had stayed in on a Friday and brought their own lunches showed a new comfort they had with each other and a new élan since Selena returned.

Chapter 22

Jamaica “Jaye” Browne would never have admitted it to anyone, but as she waited for her train to pull up, expecting to see “Bill” holding a seat for her, her panties were wet. She certainly didn’t expect to have a sexual encounter with Bill so soon, but knowing it could happen if they played their feelings right made her feel a certain freedom. Just a few weeks before she was using sex to remain popular among a leeching crowd of hangers on who were bleeding her dry of money and self-respect. Now, there was a man who was pursuing her for a relationship, whom she was pursuing right back. There was a special click between them and while sex was certainly a possibility, it was not driving the pursuit.

The 4 train got into 59th Street station between 4:45 and 4:55 each day with Bill sitting in the 3rd car right across from the door. Obviously the 4 Train originated at the station where Bill picked it up with empty cleaned cars where he could always be in the same seat. This day was no different with one exception; Bill sat with a white box in his lap, about14 inches long and 6 inches wide, an obvious florist’s box. As Jaye got onto the train he pulled his briefcase from the seat and Jaye sat down with no words exchanged between them. He handed her the box, simply saying “for you”.

She smiled widely and her eyes welled a bit and she couldn’t speak from emotion as she looked through the window in the box and saw the half dozen roses.. He looked her in the eye and said, “I thought about your questioning of me and how I was insulted a bit, but I really examined the situation, I was glad that you cared enough about me to really want to know the things it sometimes takes weeks or months to find about someone. I also knew there was nothing in my past to make you NOT want to at least go to dinner with me. We have a 7:30 reservation at Frankie and Johnnies not far from the station where you get off. I’ll be incredibly embarrassed if you turn me down.”

She smiled widely and, still unable to speak, she shook her head to indicate she wouldn’t turn him down. She hugged the flower box to herself and swallowed the knot in her throat to speak.

“Today was a big step for me where I work as far as acceptance goes, this could be my life’s career, and suddenly things are going my way. Now someone I really want to like, and like me back, has made my day as well. From where my life was just a few days ago to now has been a wonderful awakening.” She said as she reached for his hand.

He pulled his hand back and said, “No, no! No until you tell me your name and where you live. I don’t want to go door to door from your stop until I find you.” He said laughing.

She reached into her purse and took out a Wall Street Global Group business card and with a pen she crossed out Jamaica and wrote Jaye, and then filled in her home address to hand to him.

“I’ll call for you right around 7, OK? Dress nicely, this is a real fine place.” He told her before they continued their trip, changing trains at Grand Central for the Metro North train.

The talk was small as suddenly each of them became nervous over the date, knowing it could be the start of something wonderful if the karma continued so positively. They found themselves not talking at all, but staring off into nowhere until their eyes happened to meet. Bill smiled at her and took her hand and she covered his again with her other.

“Don’t worry. This will be fine. First dates are awkward, but we both want this.” Bill said to her in a quiet, comforting voice.

“I know we do, but there is so much I wish I could tell you about the last few weeks of my life so you could understand why I’m so . . . . so, something. I can’t say nervous, because I’m anything but that with you, or the thought of being alone with you. I just can’t believe all of this that has happened to me.” She said, knowing she was holding back too much.

He looked at her curiously wondering if there were things he should know before they progressed any further.

“Oh God Bill, I’m not a criminal or anything. I just made some bad decisions with my life and I’ve been given the opportunity for a couple do-overs that people don’t normally get. I’ll fully explain over dinner. There’s nothing to make you regret meeting me, OK?” Jaye promised.

“I’m sure. You better gather your things your stop is coming up.” He said with a smile as he helped her.

As the train slowed she stood and fastened her coat and took her briefcase and the box of flowers from him. He stood and kissed her cheek, whispering, “I’ll see you soon and I can’t wait to be with you. It’ll be fun, I promise.”

Jaye floated home on her walk from the station to her apartment, planning on what to wear and whether to invite him in before or after their date. Then all of a sudden she realized something, she really trusted him to be a gentleman no matter what the situation. He obviously respected her and cared for her, the flowers in her arms as proof. It would be a fun night.

As 7 o’clock approached Jaye began to relax after being in a nervous hurry as she picked out underwear, fragrance, and ways to wear her hair. She wanted to be perfect for her date and suddenly she surprised herself with a wave of confidence. Her second choice for a dress made her happy as it showed off her figure well, but didn’t make her look cheap or easy. She knew her bust line and bottom were attractive features and while wanting to accent them, she didn’t want to draw the attention of every man she passed. She wanted to look good for Bill.

The mantel clock in her living room was just chiming 7 bells when her intercom buzzed.

She ran to the screen and saw Bill on the camera and she giggled to herself before pushing the admitting switch.

“Come up Bill, the door on the right at the first landing.” She said to him.

She heard him come up the stairs and opened the door as he was about to knock.

“Please come in, don’t you look nice, out of your “train” clothes.” She said with a laugh.

“Ah, yes. My trusty trench coat. I wear that to keep the train smells and whatever I may end up sitting in from ruining my day. Might I say while you always look nice, dressed for work, you look especially nice tonight.” Bill said politely.

“Thank you! Please have a seat and I’ll be ready in just a minute.” She told him as she pointed to her easy chair and sofa.

She went back to check her mirror and decided to gloss her lips before getting a coat from her closet and draping it over her arm as she came out to meet him.

Bill stood and took her coat, holding it for her to slip her arms into. As he helped lift it over her shoulders he put a hand on each shoulder and drew his face to hers and kissed her cheek saying “You look wonderful and thank you for agreeing to go out on short notice. I’ve really looked forward to seeing you.”

She turned and smiled and hugged him with an air kiss. “I’ll admit I was nervous the whole day that you WOULDN’T ask me out tonight.”

“Two nervous teenagers on a first date?” He asked.

“For sure.” She giggled as she reached for the door.

They went down the stairs hand in hand and he walked her to the car, opening her door for her. It was the beginning of a great evening full of anticipation.

At dinner Jaye was put at ease that the entire staff at the restaurant seemed to know Bill and treated him special. When she asked him if he often brought dates there he simply answered, “Never a first date, usually old friends. That made her feel special.

Their talk throughout dinner was non-stop each seeming to be more interested in the others thoughts, interests, hobbies, and careers. The fact Bill had served in The Gulf War and was a bit older intrigued her. He was 10 years older, but seemed to think younger, even noticing the music he listened to in his car. He was in great physical shape and apparently took care of himself. He didn’t seem to be the hound type and seemed respectful to everyone he came into contact with, from the parking lot attendant right up to the manger of the restaurant who came over to say hello.

The date was so interesting to her that when she looked at her watch and saw it was almost 9:30 she could barely believe they had been there 2 hours. As he was paying the bill she wondered what he had in store for the rest of the night, or if he expected to go back to her place. She worried that he might make assumptions, because even though she was ready to dive into this relationship, she promised herself to go slow.

“If you think your coat is warm enough, it’s a nice clear night, would you like to walk the boardwalk at Port Chester Harbor. It’s well lit and we can get a good look at the stars. It’s close by. This is the last weekend for the amusement park; they open most of the park Fridays and Saturdays through November as long as the weather holds, so there should be lots of people around. I don’t want you to think I’m trying to get you somewhere isolated.” Bill said wanting to make sure she knew she was in trusted hands.

“Bill, don’t be paranoid about my questions yesterday. If I didn’t trust you, I wouldn’t be with you right now. My screening of you had as much to do with my job as it did my own safety.” She told him hoping he might understand.

He opened her door once again for her, making her smile, he being so polite and thoughtful. Her younger suitors were never so gentlemanly. 

True to his word, it was a short trip to the harbor and there were quite a few people in the area. That side on Long Island often kept winters door closed late in the year, many times till Thanksgiving. Although most of the boardwalk vendors were closed or closing at that hour, a walk out on the pier was still well lit.

Jaye felt a chill and grabbed Bills arm to hug up to as they walked.

“I’ve thought of walking like this with you since the first time we talked and I had hoped to date you. Silly huh?” Bill said, embarrassed.

“No, not silly Bill. I’ve been mixed in a much faster crowd, in college and all, and I find you quite refreshing. I like being treated special, and I do find you quite special.” She said as they stopped near the end of the pier.

They both looked out to the stars in the evening sky, now more visible away from the park lights. She hugged his arm even tighter and looked into his eyes as he scanned the sky.

“Bill? I would like this to be the place where we had our first kiss.” She said as he looked down to her.

Nervously he pressed his lips to hers and they shared a deep kiss.

“That was nice, I’ll remember that first one.” She said with a giggle.

“I guess that means there will be a second one, too?” Bill said as he pressed his lips to hers again, this one lasting longer.

“You’re sweet.” She said as she pulled at him to turn and go back, the evening chill getting to her.

They walked arm and arm slowly back into the well lit boardwalk area and to the car.

He opened her door once again and she got in, not losing eye contact with him. When he got into the car, she had scooted a little closer than before and when he went to reach to put the key into the ignition, she took his hand.

“I’m not trying to go too fast here Bill, but I do find you special.” She said as she sought out his lips again.

This kiss lasted longer than the last and their tongues met just before she broke it and sat back and smiled. “That was nice.”

“It sure was Jaye, and you know I find you special as well. But, we should head back. Unfortunately I have to work in the morning.” He said as he started the car and they drove from the park lot and back into Rye.

When they got to her apartment building Bill got right out and got her door, offering his arm to walk her to the door. She smiled at his chivalry and when they got to the outside door she turned to him.

“Would you like to come in for a minute? A private kiss would be so nice.” She said as she looked to the downstairs apartment window, where someone could easily look out at them.

“Sure, I’ll come up.” He said, only too anxious to be alone with her.

They went up the stairs together and she opened her door and went inside.

She turned to him and they stepped into each other’s arms, kissing hard and passionately.
Their tongues played together as the embrace became more intense.

They broke the kiss to look into each other’s eyes.

“That was a lot nicer than having anyone peek at you, huh?” She asked.

He smiled and kissed her once again, before asking, “Can I see you again?”

“That would make me very happy Bill, tomorrow?” She asked.

“Sure, I work and won’t get home until 6, though.” He answered.

“That’s OK. I’ve got to write a feature for our Sunday Newsletter, so I’ll be tied up most of the day anyway. How does this sound, tell me the stop where you get off the train and I’ll go there and you can pick me up and bring me to your house? I’d love to see where you live and then maybe we can get a bite or see a movie.” She suggested.

“I could just come and get you.”

“Don’t be silly, you’ll have worked all day. Let me come to you and then you can bring me home later. I’ll call you when I leave the apartment and you can meet me at your stop. OK?”

Bill agreed and kissed her once more before turning to leave.

He opened the door and her hand covered his on the knob as he drew it away.

“I had a wonderful night Bill, even more so than I had hoped.” She said as she sought his lips once again.

They kissed and he was on his way.

She closed the door and fell back against the door and swooned while clutching herself.

She thought, “THAT was the kind of date I always dreamed of.”  Chuckling to herself so that she felt like Marlo Thomas from the old That Girl reruns she used to watch in high school.

It was barely 11 o’clock but she couldn’t wait to get to bed and dream about Bill. She only hoped he was as excited as she was about their getting together. She was no more in bed when her hands found her moistening sex between her legs. Yes, she would dream about Bill, but first she would fantasize about him. He seemed he would be a perfect man to re-start her life and career with. She hoped she could hold out a few weeks before giving into sex, even though it was what she wanted right now. But in her mind it was different than other partners, especially those most recently. She wanted him, but not because she was horny and had needs to soothe. She wanted him to show him how much she cared for him and how she wanted to please him. This was a new tact for sex with Jamaica, and it brought her a whole new perspective on love and relationships. 

She woke about 12 hours later with a smile on her face and only a pair of thong panties around one ankle. She lay in bed with a smile on her face replaying her date the night before, and . . . YES! It was as much fun and as satisfying as she had imagined it while it actually happened. Now, she wondered if Bill had the same thoughts.

 She bounced out of bed and made coffee and then jumped in the shower to freshen up and give the coffee time to brew. Once out she pulled her laptop out and began to put together her article for the Sunday Night Letter.

 At about 12:30 her phone rang and she thought of letting the machine get it but since so few people had her number she was sure it could be a “good” call.

“Good afternoon! I didn’t get you out of bed, did I? I figured noon was safe.” Bill said with a happy lilt.

“Bill! No, I‘ve been up for an hour or so and just began writing my article. How is your day going? So sorry you had to work.” She answered.

“So, do you still want to come over and see my house tonight?” He asked.

“Yes, of course! There’s a train at 6:50 and I’ll call you when it leaves the Purchase Street Station and I’ll get off at Port Chester and hopefully you’ll be there to get me.” She said, having planned her trip on the internet.

“That will be good. After I show you the house we can hit a movie and then stop for a burger or pizza. How’s that sound?” He asked.

“Bill, I have a feeling that as long as I’m with you, everything will be fine. You’re really very sweet.” She said blushing to herself and wondering if she oversold her feelings too soon.

“Ha, I have employees here who don’t think I’m so sweet, but they aren’t quite as nice as you either. I have to run. I’ll wait for your call and look forward to tonight. Kiss-kiss.” He said, obviously having to take care of another matter right away.

That matter was another call coming in and Saturdays he was alone after the window closed, so he had to be sure phones were answered promptly.

“Hello Billy, it’s Lindsey. You didn’t call me this week. Did you want to see a movie?”

“Oh, I can’t Lindy. I’ve got something else going on tonight.” He said, trying not to sound too abrupt.

“I wish I knew who my competition, this Rebecca, was Bill. She seems to get you most of the summer, but . . . .” She started to say, half kidding, half serious.

“Lindsey, I’ve told you I didn’t want to be tied down and this was the way it was going to be. You aren’t competing. I have a good time with both of you and, to tell you the truth, it isn’t Rebecca. I’ve met someone else.”

“Bill, I know you’re screwing both of us, and I can handle that. I went in this relationship with both eyes open, but if you’re seeing someone else . . . .” She said leaving the possible ultimatum open.

“We don’t have a relationship Lindsey, we’re friends, and you made it friends with benefits. It’s the same way with Rebecca. She’s a friend who I’ve known a long time, and yes, it’s also with benefits, and she knows the story, all about you, as well. Pressure like this is precisely why I don’t want a committed relationship.” He said coldly.

“I’m sorry Bill. I don’t mean to chase you away. You know I’m 30 years old and not getting any younger. You are the man I thought could make me happy, but apparently you’re looking for something else. Maybe we should cool it for a bit.” Lindsey said sadly.

“Lindsey, there’s nothing to cool. You’ve known that we were just friends for a long time and if you thought you were going to change that with sex, you were wrong. Don’t make me say things to hurt your feelings. We’ve always been a lot of fun for each other, and part of that fun for me has been no expectations.” He explained.

“Bill, you call me when you want to see me again, OK?” She said obviously hurt while knowing all along what the situation really was.

Bill Centofranchi felt terrible about how he spoke to Lindsey, but cold hard facts made it easier to explain to her. She was divorced almost 10 years from a school buddy of Bill. That buddy also joined the service, but he never came home from Iraq. They hooked up for company when he got home and she pushed the relationship to sex, saying “no commitments”, just satisfying urges. But clearly she felt that would make him fall in love with her.

Rebecca was a woman he met in Iraq, brought together because they were both from Long Island. She came from money, but got into drug trouble and she joined the service after rehab to avoid jail time and get back in her family’s good graces. She looked him up when they were on leave one Christmas and Bill made a play for her. She let him know that she wasn’t looking for a relationship and he accepted that. Since then she wanted more, and he let her down the same way he told Lindsey.

Now, he actually found someone he might WANT a relationship with and he knew that he could no longer see either “fuck buddy” if he were to pursue Jaye at all. As confusing as the situation seemed, he hoped to keep his options open with both “friends” if seeing Jaye didn’t work out.

His fear of things not working with Jaye had to do with his own self confidence. She was obviously a very attractive young girl, why was she pursuing him? Did she see him as a father figure? Someone to lead her through life, and show her the safe way and spank her, either literally or figuratively, when she strayed? He didn’t see himself as that much of a catch. He underestimated how much “stability” worked into the thinking of a woman, no matter how old, when searching for a long term partner. What he didn’t know or realize was that Jamaica was not looking for a long term partner either, for that matter, when she met Bill. It just happened and the spontaneity of the situation put her in that thought process. Bill also was not “looking” when he found Jamaica. He just expected a girl of her generation X type to be cold and unappreciative of his help that day. When she sought out the comfort of his smile and friendliness he found a connection. Now it was almost as he wondered when she might meet someone her own age and be able to lose him, the older man.

The truth was, Jaye never considered Bills age when her interest in him kindled. She had just dealt with so many “user” and “phony” types in the city that coming across a real gentleman was a pleasant surprise.


It was 6:48 when Jaye called Bill Centofranchi’s cell phone to tell him she was boarding the train at Purchase Street station in Rye. Bill sounded anxious to meet up with her as he talked her through trip to Port Chester station. Nerves suddenly got to her as the trip unfolded, wondering if she was chasing too hard, but as the train pulled into Port Chester she saw Bill leaning against the hood of his red Buick LaCrosse as his eyes searched the windows for Jaye’s face. She waved quickly before getting to her feet and heading to the exit door.

When she came out of the station she walked towards Bill and his car and found herself almost running. Her paranoia scolded her for appearing so anxious to be with him but he opened his arms wide as he got to him and they embraced firmly, ending in a kiss.

“I missed you today, we had so much we didn’t talk about last night.” He said, wishing he hadn’t, his own paranoia scolding him.

Suddenly they were both quiet as he drove the short trip to his house, with Jaye only commenting that it was a nice neighborhood.

As they entered the house Bill offered to take her coat and give her the “grand tour”, but as soon as he turned from the closet and went to take her hand to lead her around the house their eyes met and they kissed deeply, their tongues brushing each others.

Quickly Bill broke the kiss and looked at her in fear.

“Oh my God, don’t think I thought you were here so I might seduce you. That was just spontaneous, I’m so sorry.” He apologized.

“Easy Bill, I felt it too. I know we can’t rush things, but I respect your intentions. I think we’re both trying to over think this relationship through the sparks that have flown, and believe me, they have flown.” Referring to her thoughts and actions when she got to bed the night before.

Bill had went to bed with a damp wash cloth in hand to catch his own passion as he thought of her pert, and seeming, innocent, little body. He thought of that himself when she talked of sparks flying and simply said “Yes, they have and I’m trying to deal with it all.”

“Let’s agree that neither of us should try too hard to read each other’s mind, and just talk and be honest.” Jaye said hoping to get things on the right track.

“I’ll be honest and tell you that I’m already afraid you’ll find me uninteresting compared to guys your age that you may have dated. I have far right values from hard work, being a war veteran, and having to earn all I have, and . . . . .”

“You don’t think a woman can have those values?” she said trying to finish his thought.

“I gave up a couple years of High School, Proms and all of that stuff to pursue my career after my studies came to light of Wall Street Global. They comb the list of scholastic excellence achievers. I had to sign commitments to years of service to them for the money they invested in my education. I have a good chance of becoming a vested partner, and if you don’t think the values of this firm are on the right, you’re wrong. They made sure I went to an institution with core values for what I had to study to get to their level and they even chose the professors I saw to lead me that way. Bill, I HAVE those values and value my country and the principles on which it was founded. Don’t mix me in with the rest of the “Yes we can, hopey, changey” crowd who’ve been led around like sheep to the tune of a new piper. I’m John Wayne, not Jane Fonda.”

“Holy Cow Jaye! I wasn’t trying to touch a nerve, but I’m glad you defended yourself so passionately.” Bill said as he was so surprised at her outburst. “I wondered how you could just be almost 22, as you put it, have 4 years of college, and be on Wall Street for over a year.”

“Is THAT what you meant about there being so much we didn’t talk about last night?” She asked.

“Yes, it is. I guess the way I see it in my mind is Lady Gaga dating Bill O’Reilly, wondering what you could possibly see in me when someone your own age might make your life more exciting.” Bill said in a self deprecating tone.

“Bill, I have a slice of my life I wasn’t going to tell you about unless we got terribly involved, but in fairness, here goes . . . . . Just a few weeks ago I was running with a crowd more my age and  I was ruining my life. Leeches were sucking the money out of me, the self respect from me, and I was involved with a lot of drugs and alcohol pissing my life away while my position at Wall Street Global was about to be terminated. I had become a part of the fast young crowd in Manhattan, a part I was most unlikely to play, but was dragged into by the speed my life was moving at. I’m ashamed to tell you about the cocaine, vicodin, booze, and lack of morals I had. But, I’m back on track now. I was bitch slapped back to my real life by someone I respect more than you can understand. This person got me my apartment and when I was first taking the train to see it, YOU were the first person I encountered in my new life. You seemed so friendly, so trusting, and I used you as a security blanket all the way to my stop. After I got off the train I was sorry I hadn’t gotten your name, or some way to get a hold of you, because in a city this big, what were the chances I would run into the same person again. Fate wanted us to try to be together. I’m not shopping for a relationship, or was I looking for one. But, I think we have the start of one, unless I’ve scared you away.”

Bill was taken aback by her words at first, but reassured her quickly.

“Jaye, anything that happened before I met you is none of my business and I also believe that people can change. I was not looking for a relationship, but also feel I should give this one a chance. I have a couple girlfriends, and I certainly mean GIRLS that are FRIENDS and nothing more. They both pursue me hard to become their steady, but I’ve told them more than once that it won’t happen. But you, YOU have a certain something, an honesty that I can’t put a finger on, that intrigues me, makes me want to open up my life to you. When I kissed you before I acted like a school boy trying to seduce his date once he got her alone, and I’m not trying to do that. Am I making sense?”

“Yes, you make sense, but maybe now we’re both over analyzing things. Let’s just say that we want to be with each other and want to get to know each other, and if things work out, it will be great. OK? There won’t be any seducing, no matter how tempting it might be. Before I do anything committal for the wrong reasons, I want to be sure of what I’m doing.” Jaye responded as she stepped back in hopes of being shown the house where he lived.
 
She loved the fact he lived in this “Leave It To Beaver” type neighborhood and not in some high-rise in the city. His house was neat, especially for a bachelor, and seemed to want or need a woman’s touch. But, obviously, the two other women who courted him did little to try and change the man’s touch the home had. After the full tour he offered her a seat on the sofa while he got the newspaper to check movies and times.

As they looked over the movies she couldn’t help but notice how many dealt with relationships, “Friends With Benefits”, “No Strings Attached”, “Just Go With It”. They all made Jaye feel uncomfortable and then Bill suggested a local Art theatre showing a sneak of “Midnight in Paris” and they decided on that.

Jaye later reflected to herself that the night was magical as they both enjoyed the movie and spent an hour talking over its plot while eating a midnight pizza at a corner tavern in Port Chester. Bill brought her home where they kissed and snuggled in his car before he walked her to her door. She invited him up for a coffee for the drive home, but “coffee” ended up being necking standing just inside her door. Both of them had the thought to move it to the sofa, but neither trusted each other to suggest it. Their necking was mostly innocent with possible exceptions being Jaye obviously feeling his erection press against her and Bills hand cupping a buttock trying to hold her closer. They both wanted to be sure their relationship was founded on their karma and not sex, so once it got a little sweaty Jaye suggested he leave, but to be sure he called her in the morning. He agreed and their night ended with each of them causing their own sparks once again, home alone in their beds with their fantasies.

Chapter 23

The Saturday morning move of Selena and Joe to their condo apartment across from the Fox Studios could not have gone any smoother. Since 95% of the furniture in the Four Seasons suite was part of the room they had few things to move after the 3 moving closets of mostly Selena’s wardrobe went out. There was a jewelry armoire, a shoe rack and a straight backed wing chair that Joe liked to relax in as it supported his back so well after workouts or long days.

Joseph had arranged with one of the restaurant suppliers to have a truck at the Four Seasons dock at 11 o’clock to roll the 3 moving closets and furniture onto. The closets were far too tall for any van and the trip to the new condo was a short one and an easy favor for Joseph to call in. The truck left the loading area at their new digs even before 11:30 and all that was left to do was move the things into the new condo.

As Selena transferred arm load after arm load of clothes from the wood framed cardboard closets to the deep wardrobe walk-in of the new place Joe simply chuckled to himself as she passed by him sitting on the bed.

“Can I help?” He asked.

“No, if I don’t arrange my own things I’ll never find them, besides I have to pull out the things we’re taking to Jamaica.” She answered brusquely as she tried to hurry so they could go out and get bedding for the bed, that they had forgotten they needed.

With the bedbug scare in New York, anyone who was moving into a new place had to buy new mattresses, box springs and bedding. The mattress and box spring were delivered and still sealed as Joe sat on them, but nothing to make the beds with was there.

“We COULD try out the new mattress this morning.” He joked.

“You COULD just lie there and jerk off and tell me how it was.” She answered sharply.

“My, aren’t you in a mood?” He said back indignantly.

“Joseph Johnson!” She scolded towards him, “I’ve worked myself into a sweat trying to get this done as soon as I can so we can get over to Macy’s and get stuff to sleep on tonight, and then take a shower to freshen up before we go to the theater tonight and still have time to pack for the weekend, have dinner and then maybe even take you up on the invitation to bed. PLUS, I’d like to get a submission in for the Sunday Night Letter to show Jamaica, or Jaye . . whatever, that one can’t get too busy not to make the effort.”

“We can skip the theatre if it’s that much of a burden. I just thought it might be fun to come home to the new place after a nice night out.” Joe explained.

“I agree, but I also want to have our weekend clothes sorted out, our Jamaica clothes sorted out, so we can leave early tomorrow and then not have to hassle next week with packing as long as everything has to be handled anyway!” She whined.

“If I can’t help you, I’ll be setting up the entertainment center in the living room. Let me know when you want to leave for Macy’s.” Joe said leaving her by herself. 

A few blocks away at The Regency it was well after 1 o’clock but Lucy and Jeromy were just waking up from a long night of reunion. Jeromy looked over at his beauty and wondered how he was able to be apart from her for so long. She saw him appraising her and smiled.

“You know some of the best years of our marriage, the best times we ever had were after I committed what you called “the sin”. I said we wouldn’t talk of it again, but I have to get this off my chest. I sacrificed my pride and any virtue I had left to save our marriage that was spinning just above the downspout and ready to go into the sewer. You had gotten complacent and lazy and I had sold nearly everything I could to help make minimum payments on the credits cards. Even if we both got 50K jobs, it would have taken 4 or 5 years to get out from in under those monthly payments and we were already at each other’s throats. Admittedly, if I hadn’t got the job with The Toy Store while I was out there we might have paid off everything and walked away from each other clean. But getting that job made me believe in us, that fate wanted us to stay together. Once the pressure came off you to find work, it all happened for you. If I had a half a brain I should have refused to watch the porno that night when they came over. It’s not something married people do with other couples, and I was cocky that I could get a pass on it from you. Had that not happened it would have been no harm, no foul, because I was able to put it all behind me. The good it did for us made me justify it and NEVER feel any guilt, except when I had to admit it to friends, especially Selena. Now, THAT was the last word. I had to tell you that in fairness. My only regret was hurting you, not that I had done it, but that I had hurt you.”

“I accept that and I want to apologize for the time I spent punishing you. You should know that I was punished as badly as you, if not worse and more than anything, my goddam male ego and pride kept me from crawling back long ago. I was stupid and I’m ready to go on. Last words.” Jeromy said.

“So when do we see Selena and Joe?” He asked.

“Mmm, not sure. Their day is full today and they go upstate tomorrow. They won’t be back here until Tuesday morning, and I’ll be in Pittsburgh Tuesday. What’s your schedule?” She asked.

“I’m pitching a package in Atlanta on Monday and then Baltimore Tuesday, but then I float for the rest of the week, Thanksgiving, and all.” He answered.

“Float? You don’t float Mister. You’ll be with your wife back home. I’ve got a job jar so big you won’t believe it. You want to come live with me again, don’t you?” She teased.

“Of course, but how can we call our home in Saratoga, home? Your corporate is in Glendale, and central shipping is in Pittsburgh. My office is in Oakland, but I’m on the road 3 or 5 nights a week.” He wondered.

“You’ve always be able to be close to me, spying on me. Just where do you call home and how much stuff do you have to move?” She asked.

“Believe it or not, I just live in motels, and yes, I did always manage to stay close to where you were, or make it seem so. I have a storage unit back in Albany with a wardrobe and a dresser of my things. Just cheap furniture that I would pack from. Whenever you were home to Saratoga, I was usually having my laundry done. Most Sunday nights I was bringing my clean clothes and empty travel bags to the storage unit. I’d put things away and then pack for the week. I kept up with a few of our friends, but no one you’re really attached to without me. It wasn’t a great life, but it was organized.”

“Now that you won’t be shadowing me, do you really think you’ll have to be away that much? Don’t you have enough connections that you can do internet presentations?” She asked as she propped up on one elbow and put a finger to the middle of his chest, pushing him back.

“I, uh . . suppose. I really thought we might travel together. I do most of my business near your corporate and then the east coast.” He proposed.

“But for now, all of your Holiday ad programs must be laid out, set up and sold, right?” She quizzed. “I thought after I set up our Holiday marketing plan I could spend some time at home, just me and you.”

“We just bought a lot of time for Super Bowl week and I’ll have to get out and pedal that soon.”

“I’ll make you a deal, I can be sure to be home 4 nights a week. Can you commit to that?”  She asked him.

“I’ll do that if it saves us. With our two incomes and only one roof to pay for, we should be able to save a lot of money. If we invest right, we should be able to retire young. I like that idea.” Jeromy surmised as he began to see where Lucy was leading him as she moved in closer to him.

“Geez Luce, didn’t you get enough last night? My dick felt like it was ready to fall off when we went to sleep.” Jeromy joked.

“Hmmm, if it falls off I’ll only need you one night a week then, as long as I can take it with me.” She said as she smiled and reached under the covers for his already hardened prong.

She pulled back the covers and moved her head to get close to the beckoning purple head, but stopped to look up, “Perhaps you’d rather feel the hand you used on it the last three years, than the wet mouth and pussy you’ve had the last 2 nights.”

Jeromy just shook his head as he felt her mouth engulf the head. “My God, you are so fucking sexy. I would have bet money that little Jeromy would have been to worn out after last night. You got me three times!”

“Shut up and be a good boy and get your fat fingers in my pussy, then number four will go right down my throat.” She said as she shifted herself to let him get at her.


Selena came out of the bedroom and sighed deeply, “There! All done! Clothes sorted for both of us, one load to go home with, and the rest to pack for Jamaica, and everything else put away. The closets are DONE!”

She expected to hear Joe laud her accomplishment, but instead heard nothing.

“Joe? Joe, aren’t you right out here?” She said as she looked around the corner from the living room where she expected to see him setting up his music and their Bose with the existing media system in the condo.

She walked past the few personal pieces of furniture they had just moved in that were yet to be placed and then through the kitchen. Still no Joe.

“If he’s pissed off at how long it took me,” She thought to herself, “That he just took off and went shopping alone . . . . . SO IMPATIENT!”

She felt her jaw tighten as she went to the window to see if he might be walking to the deli or coffee shop. It was there that she heard the buzz of a light snore from behind her. There, in the wing chair he so loved, still set askew where the movers left it was Joe. He chin firmly rested in his chest as he snored away, the Bose manual in his lap.


She chided herself for scourging him in her mind for offenses he hadn’t committed. She quickly softened and went to the side of the chair and leaned over to kiss his cheek. He startled awake and looked up at her confused.

“Holy shit! Are the movers here?” He asked quickly trying to get his bearings.

“Joe, we’ve moved and you’ve fallen asleep.. Remember setting up the Bose?” She said with a laugh at his confusion.

“Oh FUCK! Was I out or what? I was dreaming heavy dreams of . . of . . .Jeez, I don’t even know WHAT I was dreaming, but I was deep down and away.” He exclaimed.

“Maybe we should skip the show tonight and just go to bed early so you’ll be fresh for the drive tomorrow.” She said as she affectionately pushed his hair off his forehead and back.

“ . . and get me my Metamucil and my wheelchair! I’m not a hundred and ten, I’m just tired and bored waiting for YOU!” He snapped at her comments.

“Calm down Joe Johnson, there’s nothing wrong with being tired and I said nothing about you being OLD. I’m sure you’ll prove to me how young and virile you are in Jamaica, over and over.” She said with a soft smile as she cuddled her face to his, settling in his lap.

The stiffening of his back and the hair that was up on his neck both settled as she calmed him and reminded him of their trip and the fact they were so much in love and destined to proving it over and over real soon.

“You know we don’t have to be in Jamaica to make love you know.” He said suggestively.

“No, but if you want to have sheets to cum on, or for me to leak cum on, we better get to Macy’s now, or we’ll either miss our dinner reservation or the curtain for the show.” She whispered as she reached and gave his package a squeeze before standing up from his lap.

Joe stood and stretched and looked to the waiting Selena as she stood by the door. He smiled at her and went to her side moving them both towards the elevator, his hand cupping her ass.

On the elevator he kept close to her and leaned in to whisper, although they were alone, “I can never get over how beautiful and sexy you really are. I couldn’t love you more, you know.”

She tipped her lips up to kiss him saying, “The same thought passed through my mind just now too. We are so blessed. Not that we need a certain place to make love, but just think, on Thursday there will be just you and me to quench our thirst for each other whenever we want in our little Eden with the sound of the ocean behind us.”

The elevator opened and they alit with eyes locked on each other. The afternoon of shopping would fly by as they waited for their first chance to be alone and intimate again.



Chapter 24

Jamaica Browne woke very early on Sunday morning after a frustrating night of tossing and turning. Her frustration was sexual and as many times as she masturbated to solve her want for a man, and not any man, she had found a man who treated her like she always dreamed of.
Bill Centofranchi was older and more mature than any other man she had dated or been with. Her sexual experience before coming to New York was limited she would be the first to admit she gave into sex with many partners for the sake of being wanted, being accepted into the crowd she had met in the dance clubs of Manhattan. She had money to burn on drugs and drinks that kept her “friends” hanging on, and this group was only happy to drain her of her cash in exchange for her need to be accepted. The night before she was confronted by Selena to either get right or leave was probably the night when her conscience had finally revolted and had her searching for answers and a way out of the depths she had sunken.

She had run around with another fast girl who showed her where to get the drugs for both of them, plus she knew where to go to see the best bands and how to meet the bands. That night when she woke in a strange hotel suite she remembered little, but she did know she had rolled around nude in a bed with this girl while 3 members of the band who stayed in the suite watched. It was a matter of time before all 5 of them were on the bed and having sex. The each took turns with the 2 stoned girls and as Jamaica was looking for something else to take to dull her senses she felt fingers trying to pry her ass open and male voices talking about fucking them both in their asses. She struggled to get dressed and got out of there knowing she had to be at work in just a few short hours, and she didn’t even know where she was. Jamaica cried hard with the memory of her five-some, so ashamed at herself, especially since she knew that it was just not her, but she had sunken so deep she didn’t know how to get out. Then Selena saved her, even though Selena said she saved herself. Selena was the impetus force that drove her.

Now only a few days since she had found herself attracted to a man who treated her like a woman should be treated, but she was having thoughts of not being worthy. She craved him, but told herself she didn’t deserve a man this good. She tossed and turned in half sleep, half teary shame. Finally after her few hours of fitful sleep she got up, showered, put on soft pajamas, and went to her computer in hopes of finding something to take her mind away from her thoughts. She saw the piece of paper she had dropped on the keyboard with the email address, IM tag, and twitter name Bill had written for her when they exchanged info that night after she saw his computer.

She rarely used any IM, twitter, or facebook type of networking, but put his name in her IM queue. Almost instantly his ID popped up and she wondered if he had just left the window open all night long.

But a few seconds later an Instant Message popped up, “R U up? I can’t sleep either”.
She wondered what kept him from sleeping, knowing it wasn’t as mind wrenching and disturbing as her sleep hurdles.

“Just thinking about us, where we’re going, if I” She wrote and sent.

“If U what?”  He sent.

“My life was pretty F U. You make me happy.” She wrote.

“Ditto here. Life was hum drum. You give me life.” Bill responded.

“If you knew me, you wouldn’t think that.” She wrote.

“I’m trying to get to know you. What are you hiding? You seem so happy when we’re together.”

“You make me that way. Ten days ago you would have tossed me aside like something cheap.” She tearfully sent.

“Don’t talk foolish. We’ve all done things that bring us shame, just in different degrees. I doubt you’re a murderer, and I doubt you’re a thief. By the job you have you must be pretty special. If I dwell on things I did in Iraq I could get myself in a rut as well. But there are things we have to do, and there are things we regret doing, but seemed either right or fashionable at the time. Don’t kill yourself over it.”

“But,” She started to write but she started crying. Bill waited for her to finish and then thought she might be too upset.

“Answer me this, are you that person NOW? After thinking about whatever it was?” He asked.

“NO!!!!!!!!!” she wrote back with many points to show her determination.

“Then why dwell on it.”

“Can you come over? Please?” She wrote.

“Are you sure? We got pretty heavy last night and I thought about you A LOT last night after I got to bed ;-)”

“Same here, but I can’t stop thinking about you. Nothing will happen without a lot of talk.” She fired off.

“TALK, four letters ends in K and means to communicate.”

“Touche’, there are other forms of “KommuniKation. I promised myself we wouldn’t “talk” until we knew each other better. It sounds silly, but I really need to see you, touch you, and hear your voice.” She typed hoping he would get the gist of her meaning.

“I promised myself I wouldn’t go for that either, should we promise each other?”

“Promise what? No penis in vagina sex?” She asked bluntly.
“I didn’t think you would put it that way, but yes.”

“I promise that we’ll keep that special for another point in our relationship, if it gets there.” She wrote back with a big embarrassed grin.

“I’ll be over in 15 minutes.”

“I can’t wait to see you. I’m in my PJ’s and I’m not getting dressed.” She happily wrote as she saw him sign off.

Jaye was a mess, having tossed and turned all night, not to mention sweating through one nightie trying to get herself off, then showering and changing, then crying in front of the computer. Now she had a hopeful smile on her face knowing Bill was coming over. She had hoped to communicate to him that she needed him, but didn’t want to be coerced or even tempted to give into as she called it “penis in vagina” sex. However, she thought a little heavy petting might put her right and see what kind of man Bill really was. She hoped he was the person she thought he was. He was on his way over.


When Bill got into his car and backed from his garage it was the first time he realized just how early it was. It was still dark and the sun was just beginning to show signs of rising. It was just past 6:30. He had left her a little more than 4 hours ago. As Bill drove over he was more worried about her mental state than anything. Yes, he would love to get laid to satisfy his urges, but he really wanted to keep that special with Jaye, if it ever got to that natural point. It was obvious she was open for some heavy foreplay but he was to make it clear to her that sex was out. He didn’t want this to turn into another “friends with benefits” deal. He wanted a special relationship because he didn’t respect his two other female “suitors” because they used him for sex.

Jaye spent the time waiting for Bill to dry and fix her hair. She wanted to do more with her face, but since she usually wore little or no make-up, her tired and cried out look would just have to brighten naturally. She put on a pot of coffee in the Mr. Coffee and looked to see if she needed to straighten up when the buzzer signaled Bill’s arrival.

She let him up and sort of held her breath wondering if this was a smart move, to invite him over. She feared he might think she was too needy, or a constant project. Always having to fix her.

She opened the door as she heard his footsteps and smiled sheepishly as he came in the door. She wanted to jump into his arms, but let him make the move. He hugged her tightly, feeling her warm body through her snuggly pajamas, and kissed her.

“Let me get out of my cold jacket and give you a proper hug.” He said as he unzipped his coat and pulled off a sweatshirt to reveal a pajama top as well.

“You wore your jammies too!” She giggled as he left his coat on the doorknob and dropped his sweatshirt.

He turned away from her and undid the stay on his khaki’s and let them fall to reveal the bottoms of his pajama’s as well.

They both laughed as she leapt into his arms for a proper hug and kiss.

“Are we the only two grown-ups who still wear PJ’s to bed?” She asked.

“Actually I sleep just in my underwear, but put on these to lounge around until I get dressed.” Bill told her.

She blushed and said, “Me too”.

She took his hand and walked to the sofa and showed him where to sit and she cuddled up next to him, resting her head in the crux of his arm.

“This is what I needed. Warm cuddling and understanding. I don’t want you to think I’m such a mess all of the time. Let me try to explain a little. You know how they say this city and eat you up and spit you out?” She said as she got a mild rush from feeling his warmth next to her.

“Uh huh, it can be mean.” He agreed, wanting her to go on.

“When I got on that subway car and saw you that day, it had just spit me out. The person who is now my mentor had shown me the fork in the road, and my final check was drawn and I faced a shameful trip home as a failure at life, or I could suck it up, man up, as they say, face my demons and beat them back. Your friendliness, cool demeanor, and seeming to actually care for a complete stranger, showed me that life, this city, and all I have worked for, was really worth the effort to crawl back and be where I was supposed to be, be who I was supposed to be. But now guilt is making me think I am not what you think I am.” She said as she teared up and snuggled him tighter.

“Jamaica,” He said calling her proper name for the first time, “Is the person I’m getting to know the real person, or is the one you walked away from the real person.”

“Bill, I’M the real Jamaica Browne, not the one who I turned into. I did stupid things and made big mistakes and maybe I guess I think I need to be punished more and don’t deserve you.” She said tearfully.

“Jaye, I told you before, everyone lives with things they’ve done that they aren’t proud of. I don’t care, unless you’re a criminal, what happened before I met you. I don’t need to know any of that as long as I’m getting the real thing as we build our relationship.”

She sat up and turned to look him square in the eye.

“You really mean that, don’t you? I mean I read the words, but hearing them come from you I hear how convincing you are. You really won’t judge me later, because I will tell you all someday.”

“That’s not necessary. I just want to get to know you and see if the magic feeling you’ve given me is real.” Bill told her before she fell on him and pasted her lips to his.

The kiss was long and getting longer as her tongue slipped into his mouth and he reciprocated. They could feel the warm contours of each other’s bodies through their thin pajamas and it was having a quick effect on both of them. Her nipples were hard as rocks and she wanted so much to squeeze them, and his pajama’s were leaving little room for his erection to go. She sat back as the prong was pushing against her. The points of her tits were obvious as she looked down at his problem.

She blushed hard and said “The reason neither of us could get any sleep last night” as she bounced up to her feet and saying “I’ll pour coffee. . . . . Oh my! You DO drink coffee don’t you?”

“Yes, I do.” He said going to stand up, but sitting down right away because he had no way to hide his excitement.

“How do you drink your coffee?” She asked raising her voice for him to hear.

“Black with one sugar, thank you.” He answered.

She came around the corner with 2 cups and she set them on the coffee table and settled in beside him again, checking from the corner of her eye if his erection had subsided a bit. She had been able to give her nipples a hard pinch in the kitchenette to soothe them, but she already felt them filling with blood again.

“Umm, . .ahh, . . . er . .we’re not doing too well in hiding our excitement for each other, are we?” She said glancing down at his obvious problem.

“I’m so sorry.” He apologized, embarrassed.

“God, don’t be sorry, look at me,” She said sitting back straight to show her points and knowing she could smell her juices, wondering when they were going to leak through her panty.

“You’re so pretty and sexy and feel so incredible through those pajama’s, I’m afraid I can’t hide what you’ve done to me. I know you felt it last night too. It was why I knew I had to leave.” He admitted.

“Hey, we’re both grownups here. Let’s help each other out with our problems.” Jaye said bravely.

“OK, I’ll act stupid and say, . . Really? How?” Bill said hoping he might avoid making a stupid move.

“You know I masturbated last night, and I know you did the same last night, and here we are trying to hide the obvious from each other. Why don’t we masturbate for each other,. . . . . . . or maybe masturbate each other. That’s not too weird is it?” She nervously asked.

Bill flushed red and hid his eyes for a moment. “You know I’ve been with lots of women, not that I’m bragging, and I wouldn’t hesitate to have sex with any of them at this point. But, with you, I really care for you and doing this is really, really special. I hope this sounds right, but, I don’t want to fuck you, I want to make love to you. I can’t use the word “love” yet, but I think I will soon. I mean, I’m so nervous that I think it’s going away.” He said looking down at himself.

“I don’t think THAT will last too long.” Jaye said as she pushed her pajama top up over her head exposing her beautiful tits, like two perfect scoops of ice cream topped with bright cherries.

“My God, Jaye, you are . . . . . . . . so beautiful, so perfect.” Bill said as he reached for her to hold her bare chest against him.

“God Bill, my boobs feel so nice pressed against you. Take off your shirt so I can feel your skin on mine.” She said panting a bit.

Bill stood up to take off his shirt and as she predicted, his erection came back quickly as the front of his bottoms were tented out. Jaye saw it and smiled and coaxed him to sit. She turned away from him and leaned back into the crux of his arm so both of his hands could be filled with her breasts. She reached down and held his cock through his PJ bottoms.

He massaged her breasts and pinched at the nipples causing her to squirm and sigh as her hand searched for the slash in his bottoms to put her hand inside to feel him. Once her hand went around him, he dropped one hand between her legs and pawed at her pussy through her pajamas and panty. She craned her neck back to meet his lips leaving the two of them in an awkward uncomfortable position trying to reach some sort of sexual relief. 

Suddenly she pulled away from him and shinnied her pajamas and panty down her legs.

“Bill, you’ve GOT to finger fuck me! Let me feel your hands and fingers inside me, stroking me!” She cried out as Bill squirmed to the floor on his knees and turned to her, his eyes fixed on the lightly haired pussy she had just exposed.

He reached for her wet hole and did as she asked, sunk his fingers in, and began to work her clit while she moaned and pushed her ass closer to the edge of the sofa. He was working two fingers in and out of her while his thumb tried to keep pressure on her clit. She hummed long choruses of satisfaction as he began to bring her to a crescendo. He watched her squirm and jolt to his touches and he yearned to taste her, wondering if she might think that over the line. To ask would have been wrong and the temptation was more than he could bear. He bent and filled his mouth with her wet, foamy quim, pressing his tongue hard to her engorged clit to suck at it. She humped hard at his face and then froze in a muscled, rigid, quivering, goose pimpled orgasm. After a few moments she cried out loudly and put a hand to the top of his head to push him away.

He moved back and looked down at the satisfied, quivering, ball she had drawn herself up into.

“Oh God Bill, that was the place I haven’t been able to get all night. You’re so nice, so wonderful. Ohh, Ohh, Ohh.” She swooned before collecting herself to sit up and look down at him on the floor.

“Stand up Bill, I’m sure there is something I need to take care of.” She said quietly.

Bill stood and showed that his cock was already through the slash in his bottoms. She reach out and took the waist of his pajamas to brought them down and he stepped out of them.

“I see you need some attention.” She said as reached for his hardness and began to stroke it.

She scooted up closer to him and began to work her hand in earnest over him, right in front of her face. She kept looking at his eyes and then his cock, all the while knowing what he wanted.

“I’ve done this before, but never for me. It’s always to make the man happy. I was always ashamed. But now, I really want to.” She said softly, averting her eyes from him.

“Jerking me off?” he asked quizzically. 

“No.” She simply said as she leaned up and put the head of his cock in her mouth. She worked her mouth over it a few times and looked up at him.

“Don’t think I’m a bad girl for this, you were just so nice to me, and I just wanted to taste you. Please tell me when you are close.”

“You look so beautiful doing it, how could I think you were bad?” He said as he brought his hands to her cheeks as she filled her mouth over and over again.

He nudged at her mouth, almost like he was fucking it, trying to get the rhythm he needed to get off. She picked up on his movement and let him move. Suddenly he stood back and said. “Oh, I’m close, I’m going to cum!”

Jaye laid back and waited for him to spurt, something she had never seen in the light and so close.

“Cum onto me, Bill, spray me!” She said urging him to the point of no return.

Bill moaned loudly as his first spray of pre-fluids went over her head to the back of the sofa above her head. Then 3 long spurts of white copious cum splashed onto her body, one between her breasts and the other two on her belly. She put her hands over her face and giggled loudly.

“Oh Bill, so much! You drenched me. It feels so warm on me!” she said in a giggle showing her naiveté of the situation.

Bill stood exhausted over her and he stroke the last drops from himself down onto her leg. He smiled at her and asked “Where’s the bathroom? I’ll get a towel.”

She reached beside her and took her pajamas and handed them to him.

“Here, just use these. They’re dirty anyway.”

Bill wiped her clean and then used them to wipe the end of his cock as he turned to let himself fall onto the sofa, exhausted.

“I think we BOTH needed that!” He said as he laid back closed his eyes.

“Are we bad people, getting so naughty, so soon?” She asked.

“It was what we wanted.” He mumbled, “And we saved the most intimate for when we’re ready.”

“You are so special, Bill.” She said as he hugged up to him.

After a long quiet period she turned her face up to him. “That was true, what I said. I’ve done that to make my man happy, but I never wanted to do it, until now. To taste you was so important. But the end, I couldn’t do that.”

“Never do what you don’t want to. I’ll never pressure you, no man should. We have a passion, and it’s almost scary. I’d love to say I love you, but no person knows that in such a short time, but I want to love you. We can’t do this again for a bit Jaye, we have to trust our feelings so if we do fall for each other, it’s for the right reasons. Although I’m getting excited again just seeing you naked in front of me. You are quite beautiful.”

Suddenly Jaye bounced up. “Come shower with me, it’ll be fun. We might even get off again. We can go to breakfast, my treat!”

True to her word, it was fun and they did both get off again, this time masturbating themselves while the other watched under the hot spray. 

They laughed and talked all through breakfast, an uncomfortable wall broken down in their short, but heavy relationship. Jaye had to get back to her apartment and prepare to go into work for the Sunday Night Letter. Bill insisted on picking her up afterwards so she wouldn’t have to take the train at night. She told him that once she had the connection correct, she could e-conference to the meeting, but she really needed to “pay her dues” by showing up in person a few times as the older partners did and were accustomed to.

That night when he finally brought her home after stopping for dinner their goodbye was passionate, but it didn’t leave them frustrated because they both knew and understood the others feelings about where they were going and if it might work out. Jamaica Browne finally felt like a respectable woman with goals in her professional and personal life. She, once and for all, put her 8 months of debauchery behind here as a bad, painful, but valuable, learning experience.

Chapter 25

Selena and Joe were sleeping soundly after a full day of moving and unpacking, going to dinner and then laughing all through The Book of Mormon at The Eugene O’Neill Theatre, and then coming home to make love for the first time in their new condo on their new sheets and bed. What Joe wasn’t aware of was that Selena had set the alarm for 5:30am, even though they hadn’t gotten to sleep until 12:30.

“Ohh Essy, you forgot to turn off the alarm!” Joe howled as the big voice on the clock radio bellowed the news.

Selena quickly bounced up and moved over Joe propping herself up over his face.

“The alarm was set on purpose. I’m going in the shower to quickly wash and do my hair. You’re going to turn on the coffee maker, it’s all set, and gather our packed bags. Then take a quick shower if you like, but then we’re leaving here by 6 or a bit after so we can go to church with my Mom and Dad at 10:00.” She said through tired, but determined eyes.

“Did I get a vote on this?” He asked.

“Your vote was placed in abstentia. You had fallen asleep after absolutely tuning my body to perfection and filling me with your cum. I talked about it from the bidet while I drained you out of me and when I got back to bed I realized you hadn’t heard a word, so I voted for you.” She said smiling.

“It’s a good thing you’re cute, but at 5:30, some of that cuteness is hard to see.” He said in resignation.

With bags already repacked and her plan carried out as she had planned, they pulled out of the parking garage at 6:03 and were headed home.

“If we run into any delays, we’ll go to church in these clothes, otherwise, if we get a moment to get home, church clothes are laid out on the bed. My Mom helped out a bit in the plan. My Dad doesn’t know.” She told him as they zoomed through the early New York streets leading to the Major Deegan Highway and home.

“Diabolical, simply diabolical. Hand me the coffee, I’m ready for the second cup already, even though I’m sure you won’t let me stop to pee when it comes around in a hour or so, we wouldn’t want to miss church.” He said sarcastically.

“When you finish that coffee, the cup will be empty and you can pee in it.” She said looking away to hide her grin.

“You’re probably serious.” He said smiling to her.

“Depends how late we end up.” She answered coldly, although he knew she wasn’t serious.

Traffic was light and by the time the hit the Deegan Expressway and zoomed past Yankee Stadium they were ahead of schedule. The biggest potential hold-ups, traffic wise, were behind them. Although she hated to sleep while he drove, she couldn’t help dozing from time to time, hoping that he didn’t have the same urge. She jostled awake as the little roadster pulled into a rest area just north of Newburgh. While she was getting her bearings Joe leaned over and kissed her forehead.

“I’m stopping to pee, and I’m not going to leave you in the car. Come on, it’s not too cold to shock you.” He said knowing she had unbuttoned her coat and slipped off her shoes during the drive.

He came around to her door and helped her and they ran hand in hand in the morning chill into the building and made a bee line for the rest rooms. More coffee was tempting but they didn’t really want to make another stop and they were on their way.

Selena dozed in and out, although she insisted she hadn’t each time she woke and looked to Joe (I wasn’t sleeping, I just had my eyes closed!), and when they started to climb the hill past her parents street and only moments from “home” she was shocked she had been out during the exit from the Thruway, going through the toll booth, and stopping at traffic signals getting into town.

“OK, I WAS sleeping then. Holy crap, I was out cold. What time is it?” She wondered through her fog.

“It’s 20 after 9 and we have plenty of time.” He said as he pulled through the overhang of trees and shrubs and pulled up the driveway, hitting the garage door opener as he did.
“Wow, your Dad has the lawn looking awesome. He must have handpicked the leaves up, I don’t even see one. He needs to get a hobby.” Joe aid as he admired the perfect landscape.

“He HAS a hobby, taking care of our place. He’s been so happy to come up knowing we’re alive and well, it’s his joy. He took care of it before, but it was always depressing. Just be sure you tell him how good it looks.” Selena said as the car slipped into the garage and they both gathered their things and got out.

Upstairs it looked the same way it did when they left except it had all been newly dusted and cleaned causing Joe to look to Selena and say, “Apparently your mother has a hobby as well.”, causing them to hug and chuckle.

True to her Mom’s word, clothes were laid out for church just as Selena asked, but Betty Hanson has put a tie in the sport coat pocket, not liking the open collar, chain showing look.

“Do you think she would be happy if I wore a Crucifix around my neck to show on my chest? I really don’t need a tie. Weddings and funerals, ugh!” Joe muttered as Selena nodded in agreement.


The venture into church went smooth as far as making points with the Hansons who loved standing together in the pew with their daughter and son in law. But what they hadn’t calculated was the congregation’s reaction to them coming in. The church was three-fourths full when the four of them walked up to one of the front aisles where the Hansons always sat. 

Scott and Betty always presented the gifts at the 10:00 Mass since they “lost” their daughter in the 911 attacks. Today as Joe and Selena walked behind Scott and Betty up the aisle there was a murmur all through the people already seated. As they sat down, one person started clapping and soon the whole congregation was clapping and standing. Joe, especially, and Selena could not have been any more embarrassed as Scott nudged Selena to stand and acknowledge the accolades. She pulled Joe, reluctantly, up with her as they turned and waved around to the parishioners, and sat politely down again.

Joe leaned to Selena and whispered, “If they had anything to do with this, I know where the tie should be tied, very tight!”

Selena elbowed him and leaned to whisper that she was sure it wasn’t staged or planned.

During the homily after the Gospel, Father O’Neil made mention of their presence and made wonder of the power of prayer. Joe instantly knew that the walk out of church and to their car would be a long drawn out affair of hand shaking, kissing, and questioning. He rued the moment the alarm went off that morning and wondered how they never thought of this possibility of a “coming out” party.

Scott Hanson was clearly uncomfortable and he leaned across Selena to speak to Joe.

“I can’t believe your mother in law didn’t think this would happen. If I had known we would have met at another church over the river. I’m so sorry.”

Joe tried to look unfettered, but his jaw was steeled. When he looked past Scott to Betty she was crimson with embarrassment and on the verge of tears. This was when he decided that it was not planned and simply a case where Betty hadn’t thought when she asked Selena for them to join. Although he was far from accepting what was happening, he would understand, at least to Betty’s face. He reasoned that as much as he and Selena had been through, Betty and Scott had been suffered as well and Betty was just trying to get things back to normal.

At the point in the mass where you extend to your neighbor the sign of peace, it was customary for each of them to kiss their wives, daughter and Mother-in-law, as well as shake hands with their mates. Scott and Selena usually sat down so Joe could lean over to kiss Betty and wish her “Peace be with you”. Instead Joe pulled her close to air kiss and said “Don’t fret, we’ll get through this. I still love my mother-in-law”, while squeezing her hand.

You could see a veil of shame, personal anger, and embarrassment lift from her as he smiled to her as Selena and Scott stood to resume the mass. As Joe fumed inside, he was happy to lift the blame from Betty and ease her mind. She had tried so hard to be the non-meddling mother-in-law that her “son” could love and respect, and Joe knew it. He wouldn’t let her beat herself up over this. 

When it came time for communion as they lined up as each pew emptied there were many who paused to pat Joe on the back or try to shake his hand or kiss or hug Selena. Father O’Neil must have made notice of this because when the mass was over and he usually made a few closing comments about the upcoming week before he left the Sacristy, he paused.

“Where I’m sure we are all so glad to have this fine couple of the Hansons daughter and Mr. Johnson back in our community, they have really been through a lot as far as media attention and well wishers. Let’s let them leave the mass today without fanfare. They’re trying to put their ordeal behind them and get on with their lives. Instead if each of you who want to give them a personal greeting would just offer up a prayer of thanks to The Almighty for their safe return and that will help ease them back into normalcy. We should all respect each other’s privacy.” 

Then he looked right to Joe and Selena and said “God Bless you both and may you enjoy long happy lives together.”

The congregation abided Fathers suggestion and their exit from church was smooth and quiet. Father O’Neil customarily stood just outside and shook hands and exchanged well wishes as the worshipers left. When Joe came by him he shook his hand hard and pulled him close to speak quietly in his ear.

“Thanks for the break, I’ll call you in a few weeks about getting us married before God.”
He said out of everyone’s earshot. He knew how happy this would make The Hanson’s and Selena. It was something Selena wanted to bring up, but thought might be a touchy subject with Joe. Joe knew where and how his bread was buttered and knew what would score points with them all. 

Back at the Hanson house both Scott and Betty were waiting at the door to apologize for the embarrassing situation. Before they could say anything Joe spoke up.

“I know mistakes were made in the thought process of getting us here for mass. I know you hadn’t calculated what might happen and I know that you know how I feel about such things. We can forget it, if you don’t bring it up. We did it to make us feel normal again, we all forgot that people, for the most part, aren’t normal.” Joe said holding Selena’s hand so they knew the words came from both of them.

When Joe walked into the kitchen to get coffee a few moments later, as Selena and Scott set the table, Betty grabbed Joe and hugged him tightly.

“I know you don’t want to speak of it, but it was my fault. I was so stupid, I’m sorry.” She said as she finished the hug and kissed Joe hard on the lips. “Despite what you may have thought over the years, we really, really love you.”

Joe smiled and even felt a little uncomfortable about her hard kiss and then took turned her away from the door to speak to her in private.
“Between me and you, and just me and you, I’m going to meet with Father O’Neil about a church wedding for us. I’m telling you this to show you I truly forgive you, but you have to keep it to yourself, OK?”

Betty kissed Joe again and left with a big smile on her face as she prepared breakfast. Joe knew he had scored points, big time, with her.

Soon Betty was dealing poached eggs to the plates and Selena helped bring out a plate of bacon and home fries. Breakfast was quiet until both Betty and Scott had their coffees and then talk turned to the following days shifted Thanksgiving.

“Now, you two don’t have to do a thing for dinner tomorrow, I have everything planned out.” Betty said.

“Mom, Joe’s going to think I can’t do a thing if you don’t let me help out. I was going to make your pies, an apple and a pumpkin. I watch you enough and made them before.” Selena said hoping to be able to help.

Scott looked up to Betty saying, “See? If you let her help you won’t have to get up at 4 in the morning to bake tomorrow.”

Joe piped in right away. “Betty, don’t be crazy. We want you to enjoy this meal, I’d hate to see you fall asleep in the mashed potatoes. We can make the pies.”

“I can make the pies, me, not we.” Selena insisted, wanting to assert herself as a homemaker. “I know my way around the kitchen, even though it doesn’t have computers or calculators.”

“Yes dear, you bake the pies right after you bring me my pipe and slippers.” Joe said sarcastically.

“Joe, you plan every meal and on weekends when I could do that, we end up going out.” She pouted.

‘Essy, I’m retired and home all day. You get home from the office and studio around 6. What am I supposed to do? Hang around and drink and nap all day?”

“No, but I CAN cook! Let me have my fun for this tomorrow.” She insisted.

“OK, I won’t help, but for sure Betty, there’s no reason to get up in the middle of the night to start the Thanksgiving Dinner. We all should enjoy this.” Joe said giving in but making his point.

Betty broke into tears as she said. ‘I’m so happy to have the two of you to cook for I’d stay up all week. Don’t you both realize what a REAL THANKS-giving this is? The twist of fate that brought you two back is truly the answer to a prayer we never thought possible, or even remotely probable.”

Joe looked to Selena who put out her hand for him and then she reached for her Dad’s hand and soon the four of them were joined hand in hand with their heads bowed as the gravity of what Betty said hit home.

After their quiet interlude of prayer they finished their breakfast in relative quiet, save for some small talk. Nothing could compare with Betty’s words for now.

As soon as Selena and Joe left Betty quickly went to the kitchen the clear the breakfast dishes and prep so she could begin to make her big dinner for Monday. As she stood at the sink she thought about how dirty Joe still made her feel. To her, he was naughty sex, going back to the day when she sat with him following the surgery where she was his ride and proxy. His sexuality was overt in her mind and each time she saw him she was reminded of it. She knew she still looked good and felt desirable. Although she would never cheat on her husband, that day she would have thrown herself at Joe. Right now she was ready to be taken; she only hoped that Scott was as horny as she was. She couldn’t wait for him to come into the room, and she heard him shuffling in with coffee  cups
clinking in each hand from the living room where the 4 of them finished their small talk about the next day’s Monday Thanksgiving celebration.

“I’m a little jealous of my daughter, going away on that sexy vacation, just the two of them alone getting sexed up whenever they want.” Betty said uncharacteristically. 

“We don’t have to leave the country to have sex Betty, we can have it right here.” He said rather blandly as he was going back to read the paper.

“Right HERE?” She said slapping her hand down on the edge of the counter, causing Scott to turn back to her.

“Yes,” He said “Right here in the house”, smiling.

“How about right here on the counter, right now? That’s how they’re going to do it. Everywhere, whenever they want. Spontaneous!” She said fully turned facing him with a smile on her face.

“What are you saying Betty?” He asked with a sly smile on his face.

“Like when we were young. Take down my panties and I sit on the edge of the counter. I love you Scott and thinking about my daughter getting it on all week has got me a little envious.”

Scott went over and took Betty in his arms and kissed her deeply. Her ran his hands over her ass and below to find the edge of her dress. He slid it up over her ass and then gripped her waist, picking her up as she asked and set her on the edge of the counter. She used her hands to lift herself up as he grabbed the sides of her panties and pulled them down. As he gazed at her glistening lips through her well trimmed cover of hair he grabbed his cock through his pants, already hard from her suggestions. He quickly undid his belt and let his pants fall to the floor. He stepped out of them and kicked the step-up she used to reach the top cupboard over to get himself at her level.

Eagerly she reached out and took him in her hand and guided him to her waiting slit. He pushed, she grunted and she reached out to encircle his neck with her hands.

“Scottie, we’ll never get old as long as we can do this.” She purred into his ear.

“I’m sorry for the years I wasn’t interested. I never stopped loving you.” He panted back. “Religion made it seem . . . .”

“Shut up and fuck me Scott. God gave us this gift and he wouldn’t want us to deny ourselves.” She said as she humped up and almost lifted herself off the counter, hanging around Scott’s neck.

With Scott nearly holding all of her weight as her ass left the counter Betty rutted on Scott like a co-ed at a kegger. She wouldn’t tell Scott that being near her son-in-law was what lit her fuse and making her act so wanton. Betty didn’t look close to her late fifties age and could easily pass for early thirties and had the body some twenty-somethings might envy. While gray hair and a few forehead wrinkles denied Scott of looking less than his sixty, his body showed no fat and he was well toned and downright muscular in many ways. They could easily pass as the brother and sister of Selena and Joe.

Scott held Betty by the balls of her supple ass as he felt his orgasm building and she rutted on him. He stepped forward, for fear of dropping her and let her bottom set on the counter as he doubled up his effort thrusting hard at her as he shot her full of his semen. Betty had thrown her head back, accidentally bumping it on the cupboard door, as her orgasm came and she let it take her while Scott thrust his cock to her, depositing his load.

As their breathing returned to normal and they eased from their states of euphoria Betty blushed deeply.

“God, that was like college days! We must have made love everywhere in our dorms, the counters, the tables . . . . . . when I get aroused like that I feel 25 again. Why don’t we have sex every day?”

“Because we’re both pushing 60 and our libido isn’t what it used to be.” He laughed.

“I’ll bet if you woke up with my mouth on your cock you might feel inspired.” She said with a sly smile curling at the edge of her mouth.

“Just before 911 we went through one of these honeymoon spells where we were at each other’s business all the time. Do you think we have another one in us?” Scott wondered aloud.

“If we never stop it, how will it end? I’ll tell you Scott; I could go up in the bedroom and amuse myself until you were ready again, over and over. Sexually, I feel 25 again. I don’t want this to end. Why would I worry about getting old if my body, and your body, could make me feel like this?” She swooned.

Suddenly a loud plop was heard and Scott knew instantly what it was. The metal step stool he was standing on was being bombed from above. Wads of his cum were leaking from around his cock that was still stuffed inside his wife.

“We’re making a mess.” Scott laughed as he stood back and let his softening cock fall from her pussy.

“Don’t worry, I’ll clean it up.” Betty said as she stunned Scott by hopping down from the counter to her knees and taking his cum covered cock into her mouth to taste her juices along with his.

Despite thinking he couldn’t go at her again, her mouth woke his ardor again and he felt himself getting stiff in her mouth again. She was making animal noises over her satisfaction of tasting their passion and him growing in her mouth. When the head was round and fat she turned her attention to just that, working it like a lollipop. When she was sure he could get no bigger she wordlessly looked at him and spun around on her knees and threw up the back of her dress over her ass and lowered her shoulders to the floor.

Scott needed no invitation as he fell to his knees, kneeling between her legs and pushing himself into her sopping pussy as she squealed like a horny college girl as any fears of Scotts “libido” problems faded.

With their daughter and her husband safe and sound after thinking they had lost them, their passion for each other was re-lit and Betty was already determined to do whatever she could to keep her husband interested. Oral sex made her feel like a naughty teenager, and that was fine with her. Feeling naughty around Scott had always paid rewards. Just over 10 years prior, their sex life was dead, then it flourished, and after 911 it was hit and miss as they struggled to support each other. Now Betty felt like a co-ed again in the body she took such good care of.

While her Mom and Dad busy making up time in the passions department, Selena Johnson was getting the last few things from the little blue roadster to bring in.

“That’s the last of it.” Selena said as she set a small carry case and two store bags on the sofa where Joe was sitting reading e-mail alerts on his phone.

“The overseas markets are soft. I’m glad I’m not playing too heavy over there right now, I’ll sleep better in Jamaica.” He said shaking his head.

“You’re NOT supposed to be playing there at all, REMEMBER?” She said lightly scolding him to make a point.

“We’re retired and don’t need to risk anything, anymore. Low risk securities, that’s all. We don’t need to make it so I HAVE to work.” She said reminding him of the master plan they had since just before terrorists scuttled their plans.

“I’m not taking any big risks, just a few things to keep me interested. I would need to go absolutely crazy to put the future in jeopardy, you know that.” He said not even looking up.

“I also know YOU, Joe Johnson. You’ve never done anything half-way. I’m not so worried about the money; I want to keep you away from the “drug”. If you’re already concerned about sleep in Jamaica, you’re playing too hard. Besides the portfolios we set up to pay us the rest of our lives, how much extra do you have in play?” She asked as she went up to him, hands on hips, knowing he was in trouble because he didn’t tip his head to look her in the eye.
“I’m not sure. You know the master account only grew 6% from the day we “left” until it was all recounted and put back in our names. The properties took a hit with the state of the world economy, and your Mom and Dad drained $600K from the cash account.” Joe said in defense of his financial dawdling’s. 


Selena exhaled hard and reached, taking his i-phone from Joe’s hand. Joe went to fight her for it, but thought the better before he made a move for it.

“Who do you think you’re talking to? I’m not some bimbo you picked up and now you’re flashing numbers and percentages around to woo her into the sack. If the world economy grew by 6% over that time we might have considered it a BOOM compared to what we have right now. You bought the properties at “steal” prices and they doubled in value, even though no one was buying anything and money was soft. Now they still are worth a bit more than we paid, have netted enough to buy them over again twice as rentals. All that while real estate investors all over the world were jumping out of windows rather than face their losses. You have huge balls to bring up my parents. They took $60K a year and put themselves in a 35% tax bracket with their other incomes and probably spent MORE than that in upkeep of this place. You may be able to make your numbers talk and sound like we were headed to the poorhouse, but on the whole, we look like the smartest investors in the world from the plans we made and how my Dad managed it. So answer the question, HOW MUCH IS IN PLAY?”

“Uhhhh, . . . . Oh come on, don’t be pissed. You know long term we’re in no trouble.” He said as he reached for his phone, but she pulled it back.

“Joe! How about your health?” She said as she put the phone behind her and used the other hand to grab hold of the button row on his shirt, making sure he knew he wasn’t escaping without talking about this. “Stress is your biggest enemy, as healthy as you are, you know both your Mom and Dad were pre-disposed to all that stress baggage and it’s the one thing Doctors warn you of, because family history says there’s no escaping it. We don’t NEED to recoup any losses, especially losses we didn’t really have. Now give me the figure.”

Joe knew who he was dealing with and sugar coating was out of the question.

“$725K” He said, resigned to the fact she would blow a fuse.

She didn’t blow the fuse, but it was clearly lit and burning towards the powder keg.

“You may as well start snorting cocaine, as deal with this stuff. I know you deal smart, but you KNOW you can’t stop once you start with your little day trades, buy and sell speculation deals trying to prove to yourself how smart and canny you are.” She started quietly, “But that’s over HALF of the cash fund that’s supposed to make life smooth and happy for us. WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME?” She shouted to his face.

“When I got everything back and I was happy with the cash fund total. I thought 2 mil was a nice round figure.” He said trying to add a little humor, but she was in no mood.

“Let’s go right back there, right now and start divesting yourself of this. I don’t care if we take a loss or not. We have 1.4 million, MILLION!, in an account for play money, expense money, walking around money, and ONLY YOU would think that wasn’t enough. People starve all over the world, lose their homes and life savings and we live as the most fortunate people on the planet, yet you aren’t satisfied. You have a sickness. You buy a billion shares at a dime and sell them at 11 cents and you get a hard-on, you’re so proud. But if you have to sell it at 9 cents you don’t sleep for a week and worry yourself into a stroke. WE DON’T NEED ANY MORE MONEY TO SATISFY YOUR EGO!” She said as she took his hand and half pulled and half led him to the computer banks in the back room.

“Sit and sell!” She commanded. “You’re supposed to be retired and once you retired I thought the days of you checking stocks incessantly had passed. I like to dabble the market as much as anyone and we played together for a long while, but you promised to stop once you retired and gave up the company. Remember, you bought the houses so we could just travel once I got out?”

“But, Selena, you’re still in! You’re going to finish your commitment and I’m stuck again in the condo twiddling my thumbs. I need a hobby!” Joe said beginning to get pissed, but trying to avoid a drag out fight that she was clearly in market for.

“Joe, a hobby is playing around with 1 or 2 percent of our play pot, NOT HALF!” She said forcefully, and then she turned sullen, almost turning a little white.

“Listen, I have to tell you something that I promised to keep to myself, but under the circumstances it’s not right. It’s never mattered before. Back when you have the knee reconstruction at Lenox Hill Doctor Payne told me something. Your Uncle Don died of a mysterious heart ailment at a young age, and then your Dad had a car accident and died fairly young. Dr. Payne says that your Dad probably had a heart attack that caused the car accident. It was something that wasn’t supposed to be published because of the will and everything. Accidental death and a lifestyle related death could have made a difference.”
She began as Joe was shocked at what he was hearing.

“WAIT! What does this have to do with me NOW and what kind of balls does Bill Payne have not telling me!” Joe shouted.

“Calm down, calm down! Just listen to me. When Bill Payne was doing your pre-surgery screening, he thought he would check back on some family history because both your Mom and Dad dealt with hypertension. When he looked at the coroner’s report he saw a discrepancy in dates. The coroner was an acquaintance and he called him just wondering why the autopsy report was published and the coroner waited 4 days to file. After being a bit elusive, he told him that they had a second autopsy report filed because the first showed he had some sort of attack. He back tracked a little and found the information on his brother, your Uncle. He just told me that for your own good, you should try and avoid stress, especially once you hit 50. Since the only stress in your life was female companionship and worrying about stocks, I thought I was home free once you said you were retiring. Even Bill Payne admits that your Uncle’s death and your Dad’s death may not be even close to be related, but Bill really likes you and although he could never tell you anything officially, because it would put a few careers in jeopardy, he told me. He even did it in a round-a-bout matter where I could never pin him down. Actually no one knew if there was a lifestyle clause in the insurance, it’s just your Father knew LOTS of people, and they looked out for him, and you. Now, I want to drop all of this talk because it scares the shit out of me.”

“So, do I need to go and get checked out for anything, am I a walking time bomb?”

“No, no, he said nothing like that, just that we should be aware and be careful. I’m sure it wouldn’t hurt to have a heart work-up, but you’ve been through constant medical supervision for almost 10 years, and had two major surgeries on your knees since, even so, Bill’s words have always hung with me. Seeing you look like you did a few minutes ago reminded me of when we first started going out, all nerved up over stocks, and it alarmed me.” She said softly as she moved to sit on Joe’s lap and hug him tightly, like he might go away right then.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going away that easy, that soon. We’ve got a lot of love to make. I promise.” Joe whispered to her.

“Can you make me one more promise?” She asked.

“For you, baby, anything!”

“Don’t get upset, I already promised I wouldn’t beg you on this, but, can we go and see our daughter soon? I promise I won’t make a scene, I just want to SEE her.” Selena asked as tears started to flow.

“That’s a big order, and one we said we wouldn’t push, but if it means that much, let me see what I can do. Don’t make me promise, but I’ll do whatever I can. It would be great just to see her, what she’s like.” Joe said hugging Selena tightly.

“I’m sorry. It’s just I’ve been waking up at night and thinking about her. I’m resolved to the situation and know I can’t change it. When you love someone you don’t even know it’s . . . . . .” She was trying to explain but Joe stopped her with a finger to her lips.

“I understand, I go through the same thing. Let’s not dwell on it. We have Thanksgiving and a honeymoon to plan and enjoy.” Joe whispered.

“A honeymoon? We’ve never called this a honeymoon, but I suppose you could. I’d love to get married in a church with all our friends there and go on a real honeymoon.” She said staring off into space.

“I’m going to take care of that, and I’ve even started the ball rolling. Don’t question me, but I’m working on that. Just know that I promised you and I’m working on it.”

Selena couldn’t hold her emotions anymore and turned on his lap hugging him tightly around his neck while crying happy tears that ran down her cheeks like rain.

Chapter 26

In tiny Horicon, New York a young girl pushed her pencil writing an essay for school. In her composition book she wrote about the effects on the world brought about by the 911 attacks on the United States. She was happy her mother had bought her a bound composition book as she was left handed and having to lay her arm across the wire spiral always caused her pain and left the lines. She was happy that she had been allowed to use her mother’s laptop for research, for as much as a nine year old would delve into a subject. But this 9 year old was especially smart and wanted to follow up on a story she had seen Bryan Willhelm of NBC tell about on the school news feed they saw each week in History studies. It was about 2 people who survived the 911 attacks, but were not identified as such for almost 10 years. She remembered the name Edison as one of the hospitals because they had studied Thomas Edison and she considered him a real hero of hers, because she had quite the inquisitive mind and couldn’t wait until she could participate in her first science fair, now that she was in 5th grade. Not many knew she was 8, going on 9, as she acted and looked mature for her age. She had been pushed along because he was so advanced when she went to 1st grade. Her mother had taught pre-schoolers in her day care and she was there to participate from early on. Her aptitude was incredible. When she was 8 her body started changing like some of her older classmates and on that 8th birthday, her mother and father took her aside to inform her that she had been adopted. They had planned to wait until she was 12 or 13, but she was already a “little adult” in so many ways.  She questioned who her mother was and was told what they knew as the truth, her mother had died in childbirth. The only knew she had come from New Jersey.

Searching the internet with little information is easy when you have the right key words, and Edison, 911 attacks, brought you to the story of Joe Johnson and linked you to Selena Johnson and their press conference where they told the world of what had happened to them. She clicked on the link to Selena Johnson and thought for a moment she had found a mirror on the internet. There, save for a bit of maturity in the lines in her face, was a picture of herself.

As smart and perceptive as the young girl may have been, the thought of finding her “real mother” never really crossed her mind. The only person she ever thought of as her mother was there for her every day. When her parents told her that she was adopted it caused little mental trauma since she was as happy and contented as could be, and maybe caused her to love her parents more for saving her from a life of orphanages and foster homes.

She looked at the beautiful woman Selena Johnson was and marveled at how closely she resembled herself. She smiled as she looked at the You Tube press conference and saw the woman walk out to the press table and then walk back into her home. She was very attractive and she knew her own little body was budding breasts already and her hips were taking shape. When she saw her she hoped she might be as pretty someday as the woman in the video.

Smart and perceptive, yes. But she was still naïve enough to think that her mother told her that her real Mom had died and that was that. Realities of heredity, physical likeness, and medical traits passed on, even heritage, never really crossed her mind. She and her adoptive Mom shared the golden hair and blue eyes and no one could ever question an obvious difference in the two, they bore so many similar features. But, although she was not aware of it, a seed of thought had been planted in her head.


Selena stood by while Joe began to sell off the holdings he had unwisely bought secretively. While Selena trusted him she wanted to be sure he did as he promised he would. Buying and selling of stocks could be his hobby, but not his job, and 2% was his limit for investing.

While Selena was always aware of what Dr. Payne had told her, it never really crossed her mind until she saw the look on his face and furrow in his brow that day. Losing Joe now, after all they had been through, would certainly break her spirit to a point she may not recover. After all he had been through if something was serious, it would have shown up, but there had to be a reason Dr. Payne made his comments.

Selena was finishing closing the third large travel case when Joe came around the corner to tell her that the last of his divesting would take effect Monday morning. Before he could get the words out he was taken by the size of the 3 cases. 

“My God, are you bringing furniture too?” He said startled.

“No, smart ass! A lot of this stuff is for New York. Two cases back in New York are going to Jamaica, and one of these. The other two are for the colder months. If UPS gets them tomorrow they’ll deliver them on Tuesday or Wednesday.” She said snapping back at his comment.

“Lordy, for a place where we’ll be naked more than dressed, we sure are bringing a lot of clothes.”

“We’ll be going out to dinner and clubs, won’t we?” She said as she turned and hung her arms around his neck. “You want me to look nice, don’t you? Shouldn’t I look . . . . . um,
fuck-able for you?”

“You look fuck-able right now, in a sweater and slacks.” He said as he ran his hands over the roundness of the ass he loved so much to watch and fondle.

“Joey, don’t tease me like that! We rode in the car all morning, drank so much coffee between the trip and my Mothers that I’ve had to pee 4 times and poo twice. I want to shower before making love and we don’t have time right now.” She whined.

“Wow, thanks for the graphic images, I’m sort of losing interest anyway, . . . . NOW!” He said as he turned to leave the room.

He got one step up the hallway when he heard her call back.

“Joe? Can you help me with one thing?”

“It doesn’t have to do with bodily waste, does it?” He said as he backtracked and looked into the room.

There was Selena on her knees and her sweater thrown off onto the floor while she fondled her gorgeous breasts.

“I AM a little hungry and could use a protein snack to show my honey how much I really do love him.” She said devilishly. 

“Is this to make up for the scolding and financial emasculating you did earlier, or to soften me to add another bag for the trip?” He said snidely.

“Fuck You!” She said as she stood and picked up her sweater and turned to bring it over her head and back down her body.

“That was SUPPOSED to be a real show of affection and how much I love you. I ‘m not some whore who uses her talents to open doors and get her way. You were WAY out of line on the stock deals, using OUR money to satisfy your cravings. PLUS, I was looking out for your own well being. As far as the bags, I’ll pack as many suitcases as I like for our trip as I TRY TO LOOK NICE FOR YOU! But at this point your chance of getting laid in Jamaica is pretty slim. If you’re THAT upset of the stocks fiasco, let’s talk about it, but you know that I’m right on every level.” She said as she rushed past Joe and went to the bathroom where he clearly heard her crying.

Joe felt like shit as he saw what his attempt at humor had cost him. He hadn’t meant to sound as catty as the words came across. He had clearly misjudged her mood and temperament on the situation. The last thing he would want to do would be to hurt her with words, or at all. She was his life. Her tirade was so unexpected that he was left stunned and speechless as she had rushed by him.

“Selena? Essy, sweetheart? Something happened here that clearly was misunderstood. After the words came out of my mouth I realized how they sounded but before I could backtrack you blew up in my face and you stunned me. Honey, I never EVER, want to hurt you in any way. Especially with words. I know the pain and heartache of life without you, and you without me. I was making light of a situation that clearly was harder for you to execute than I judged.” He said at the door, hoping she might listen and come out to talk.

“YOU DON’T THINK IT HURT ME TO HAVE TO DO THAT TO YOU? I know the things you love to do and the things that satisfy you. Pulling the rug from under you was, possibly, the hardest thing I’ve had to do in our marriage and I had to do it in a way where I could show you how MUCH I love you. PLUS, I promised Dr. Payne that I would NEVER tell you what I told you. Ethically, he could be stripped of his license and only the fact he respects you so much made him do it. I violated that trust, and hurt you by doing so. I was so worried that you might take the situation as something emasculating and when you seemed contrite and understanding I was relieved you hadn’t taken it that way. THEN, you accuse me of using sex as a weapon or peacemaker bribe and say I “emasculated” you after you said you understood. Right now I’d rather be in the haze I was in at Hampden than have to deal with the reality of this, AND TO HAVE YOU MAKE LIGHT OF IT WHEN I WANTED TO MAKE LOVE TO YOU, just tears me apart.” She said through the door, starting to build to a rage again but quickly softening her tone as she continued.

“Essy, what you think happened, didn’t. Please understand. I would never cheapen sex like that. You HAVE to know that about me. Come ON! You’re acting like I’m a stranger you hardly know. Think about this! You had just made note of how many times you had peed and pooped today in an effort to sway me from an afternoon quickie and I turn to see you look so sexy a second later, I was just trying to make light of the situation.” Joe said loudly to the door.

There was a long silence and then he saw the door handle turning. It stayed fully turned, obviously with weight on it, and then it opened with the tear stained face of Selena coming into view.

“Your words tore my heart apart! I told myself that I hoped he doesn’t think I emasculated him, and when you seemed to understand I was relieved. Then you used that same word in your poorly chosen time to make a “joke”, especially when I was offering you my mouth to make love to. How could you be so coarse?, was what I asked myself. Now in putting things in perspective, I know that wouldn’t be you, BUT, choose your words better in the future. I may be a little more sensitive than before, my emotions are thinner after 9 years of confusion. . . . . . . . . OK?” She said from the doorway, not committing herself to coming out.

Joe simply held out his arms as if to invite her to them as his answer. She slowly stepped out and quickly wrapped her arms around him, crying again.

Joe held her tight and they communicated wordlessly of their feelings. Joe’s mind reeled of this change in her emotional make up, never wanting to see her hurt like this again. His 9 year hiatus from life seemed only a few weeks in his mental make-up. She counted and knew of nearly each day of the entire time with no outlet for her anguish.

Selena pulled back to look Joe in the eye, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I KNOW you would never treat me like that and whatever possessed me to think you did just overwhelmed me. Maybe I’m still a mental case. I’m so focused at work, so centered. Why can’t I grasp this with you?”

“Selena, remember when you saw the painting and dedication in the store room? It isn’t just with me. You’ve got some little quirks in your emotions and after all the inner anguish and drugs you had over those years, it’s understandable. Just hard wire in your head that I’m your center and not your enemy.” Joe whispered.

“I know that and it somehow just escapes me when that little fuse blows. I just snap and it’s like someone else is in control.” She said candidly.

“We have to speak to Philly and have you explain this to her, tell her about “blowing a fuse” if you really feel like it’s something you can’t control.”

“It isn’t that I can’t control it, it’s that I feel like I’m watching these things happen from afar to someone else.” She continued in her candid self diagnosing process.

“Come, you have to write these things down, while they’re still fresh.” Joe said taking her hand to lead her to a table in the hall outside this bathroom.

He took a notepad from the drawer and jotted down a few of her words as he remembered them. Then she took the pen and looked where he had written, “watching from afar at someone else”. She added “aware of blowing a fuse, with no control” and then stood looking into space pensively for a long moment.

“There, I think those are the salient points of those thoughts I expressed. Thank you for being you, being my center, Joe. I know that right now at  this point of my life, my recovery, I couldn’t get by without you. That’s why Bill Payne’s words haunt me so.” She said turning to Joe again and holding him tightly as if for dear life.

“Why don’t you go and lay down for a bit?”

“No, I should stay busy, try to think less about it, get my mind back to what I was doing.” She insisted as she walked back to the spare bedroom where she was packing.

She stopped and turned to him and pulled her sweater up and over her head.
“Come here, my dear husband. I have unfinished desires, and you’re one of them. Let me show you how much I love you.” She said as she dropped to her knees and reached for him.

“I know how much you love me.”

“But when we’re one and I feel your sweet heart beating on my tongue, hear you groan in ecstatic pleasure, and taste the very juices you make from your excitement for me, it fulfils me in a special way like no other sensation.” She cooed while reaching for his belt buckle with one hand and feeling for his cock through his pants with the other.

“You make it hard to resist.” He laughed.

“Why would you resist?” She said as she fished out his cock and fit the flat of her tongue on the underside of it while smiling before she closed her whole mouth over it.

“Argrrgh, Ooooo, gosh you wouldn’t. That feels so good!” he said reacting to the rush.

As she felt him grow in her mouth her hands went to his waist and pulled his zipper down the rest of the way and began to work his pants and underwear over his butt. At one point she had to let his cock free to let his pants fall, but it was only for a split second. She then brought her hands up hold the cheeks of his ass as she ran her mouth in short strokes over the head of his cock.

At one point she began to go deeper with feathered breathing before she hunched up, almost touching him to the back of her throat. He knew she had an orgasm by only having him in her mouth. She truly loved and devoted herself to him that much, a fact that never failed to amaze him, but he loved her with equal fervor. Seeing her orgasm made him that much more excited and he felt himself beginning to sway his hips just a bit to meet her mouth. The head of his cock became turgid, almost unable to accept the sensations she offered and without warning he spilled his seed in her mouth as she tightened her lips around him to milk him. When she sensed her was through she backed to just holding the head in her mouth and she looked up to him, swirling her tongue around him once more, knowing the super sensation it would cause as he backed from her, almost tripping over his ankled pants.

“You are SO amazing and I love you so much.” He said through a graveled voice.

She only smiled and sat back on her haunches to show the dark spot on her light slacks, she was so wet from her orgasm.

“There’s a LOT of that going around. How are we going to get anything done if we keep fooling around like this?” She said laughing as she got up and pulled her sweater over her head and on again.

She kissed him deeply and said, “You skedaddle so I can finish packing here. Then I’ll go up and start the pies. When I give you the shopping list, which there’s bound to be, you can pick up dinner while you’re out. After we’ve finished dinner and the pies come out, we can shower and go to bed. Somewhere in there I have to tap into the Sunday Night Letter meeting, too.”

Joe barely heard her, as he was frazzled from her draining him. He was up and into the living room sofa within minutes and asleep. The early hours and events of the day had earned him a nap.

Joe heard cupboards opening and pans clanging that disturbed his sleep, but until Selena went out and shook him, he was not fully awake.

“Wake up sleepy head, I need you to go to the store for me. I must have really worn you out before.” She said before falling into the sofa beside him.

She kissed his smiling face and snuggled him. “You were delicious this afternoon. When I first started tasting you as you began to work up, I came right in my pants. I knew you would be special. After we shower tonight you can do the same thing to my pussy, I need to feel your tongue there.” She teased.

“Essy! Stop it! I have to go shopping for you and I’ll have a hard-on all the while.” Joe said as he broke from her snuggle and stood up.

She giggled and got to her feet and went to the kitchen to get the list for Joe. He put on his coat and was gone in a flash. When he returned 40 minutes later he had 2 plastic shopping bags and a large paper handle bag that smelled of something hot and delicious.

“The Episcopal Church had a sign out for a Pork Supper so I got two to go and it smells awesome. They had everything you needed at the store as well.” He said as he set the bags on the counter.
 Selena only smiled and took the supplies out as Joe began to lay out the hot meals for them.

Joe called her to eat and she was still quiet and had a curious grin on her face.

“What is going on with you? You’ve had a poop eating grin on your face since I came back and hardly said a word.” Joe wondered.

“Apparently my orals skills may be hereditary. I looked high and low for the ceramic pie plates and called my Mom to see if she had pirated them away. She had and I told her I would be right down to get them and she told me to be quick and quiet, my Dad was down for a nap and she was going to join him before she got up and did the stuffing later. That sounded odd to me, but when I went down she met me at the door and just stuck her head out with the pie plates. You’ll think this is awful, but she had cum breath and definitely smelled like sex.”

“Are you sure? That’s your Mother you’re talking about.” Joe said with a grin as he scolded her.

“Joe, I’ve eaten enough of yours to call myself a gourmet of the stuff, and I’ve had cum breath enough to know what it smells like. I’m not upset, I’m glad the two of them are still getting it on. My Mom looks awesome, I see you checking her out all the time, I’m not stupid. I should look so good at her age and feel so sexy. Don’t deny it Joe. If you were free to cruise and saw her out, you would be all over her.”

Joe just smiled a shit eating grin and nodded.

They finished dinner and Joe sent her off to get into the pies while he cleaned up before he settled into some television. Once she got them into the oven, she fired up her laptop and joined in the Sunday Night Letter meeting in New York. Thinking Joe might be sleeping, she kept her comments short and concise. The fact that Jaye Browne was there in person was not lost on her. She winked into the camera to her, hoping she saw it. She spent 45 minutes in the meeting and heard her timer go off and Ross told her to sign off and enjoy her night. 

Joe found his easy chair and the TV and after an hour or so he couldn’t help but reminisce with the smells coming from the kitchen. It reminded him of home, with his Mom and Dad, and the great Holidays they spent together. Whatever was on TV just served as background noise to his thoughts and memories. As the last pie came out and Selena finished cleaning the kitchen she looked out and saw Joe not really watching the TV, but staring out the big picture window. When she went out to get him for bed she saw his eyes were wet and full of tears, but they seemed to be happy tears.

“Are you OK?” She said putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Yes,” He said as he placed a hand over hers. “Just thinking of my Mom and Dad. All the smells brought me back to a lot of Thanksgivings and Christmas’s. Good memories, but nostalgic and sorry they still aren’t around.”

“They would be proud of you, for all you’ve done, how you took care of the company like he wanted, and us too. I’m sure they wanted to see you settle down.” Selena said before leaning over and kissing his cheek and whispering, “I’m getting in the shower; you follow me and meet me in bed, my lover.”

Joe heard the water start and he got up and straightened up a bit and looked in at the pies cooling with towels over them to protect them, just like his Mom would do. He puttered a bit more and heard the water go off and he headed for the bedroom. As he undressed, Essy came out in a sheer dressing gown and smiled at him. He took the cue and went right into the bath and got under the hot spray, anxious to be with Selena in bed.

 Under the shower Joe Johnsons mind wandered as he rinsed the day’s grit from himself.
“700K, what the fuck was I thinking, and to think she wouldn’t care? I mean, I knew she would be a little pissed, but holy shit, she flipped.  She really hates that she told me what Bill had said about Dad. I know Uncle Don died young from a heart attack, but they never said it was genetic. I’ll have to bite my tongue with Bill around. Lynn always said that Marel, her mother, probably screwed him to death.” He chuckled to himself. “She told me once she was able to figure a way out of her room to peek around, she saw her screw a couple guys a week, leaving her cash and gifts. I know Lynn hocked a couple diamond bracelets that Marel never even missed. Once Lynn knew we weren’t really blood cousins, she knew she had the right person to experiment with what she saw her mother enjoying. No wonder I was so fucked up with women. Thank God for Selena, God I love her.”
 
Joe finished his musings and shower simultaneously, getting out to dry off and spot a little deodorant under his arms. He left the bathroom naked and looked into the bedroom to see Selena stretched out, looking for Joe. Her hands were full of her breasts, massaging them and pinching at the nipples.

“I’m saving my pussy for you, but hurry, I’ll need handcuffs to keep my fingers out in a few seconds.” Selena said in a staccato breathy voice.

Joe never said a word, he just went to the bed and knelt on the bottom edge and put both hands on each of her thighs, encouraging them apart as he dropped his mouth to her sopping vagina. His tongue found the groove and he pushed hard into it and dragged his tongue up and through, kissing her engorged clit.

Selena bucked on the bed and pushed her torso to his mouth as he went to work lapping up her juices and pleasuring her lips and clit as she seemed to vibrate in an unstoppable orgasm. He hunched up and got her to raise and spread her legs. He dropped his tongue across her asshole, making her jolt, but he had done what he intended, got it wet enough to slip a finger in. As he massaged her clit and mopped the juices from her slit he stuck a finger sharply up her little hole. She jolted hard and he felt an ooze of warm cream on his tongue. He let some run out and down to his finger to help slide it in and out faster as her ass came off the bed to his mouth. She held it there as her orgasm continued and then she suddenly pushed his head away.

“One more stroke in my hiney and I’ll beg you to fuck me there, and we’re saving that for Jamaica. Get up here and make love to me.” She swooned.

Joe thought she may have expected him to present his cock to her mouth to get it hard, but he was cast iron already as she writhed and begged under him.

He lurched up placing a hand on either forearm pinning her back as his cock found her slippery hole and he lunged in. He fucked her with wanton energy as the only sound in the room was the slush of his penis in her waiting hole. Her mouth was attached to his neck, muffling her passionate cries. Only when he became aware of a possible giant hickey did he bounce up and flip her like a rag doll to her knees and plunge into her once again, this time with the loud slap of his middle to the backs of her thighs. Her mouth was open wordlessly as her throat leaked guttural sounds under the onslaught. When he knelt back on his haunches and pulled her up with him the creamy white skin of her round ass came into the light cast by the bathroom nightlight.

“Whack, whack, whack!” rang out in the room as his right hand cracked down on right buttock. She hissed at the pain of the slaps, but then giggled a bit, inviting three more, her lovely cheek now illuminated in red as it traveled in and out of the light. Joe admired his work and then let a blob of spit drop from his mouth to her ass groove. It no more than hit her little hole when he forced his thumb straight up her pretty chute, causing her to cry out.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” She cried at each thrust as he felt her asshole grab at his thumb. Joe wanted to continue but he felt his orgasm rising fast and pulled from her pussy and let a long volley of cummy mess stream all the way up to her neck, and the next in the center of her back, before he collapsed onto her, reaching around to hold her breasts and then roll back to have her on top of him, both spread-eagled facing the ceiling. She reached down and found his softening cock under her and pushed it to her asshole as if to push it in. He felt the head spread her open but quickly fall out. It just wasn’t to be that evening.

Once their breathing began to synchronize and calm to normal Selena rolled from him and flipped to rest her head on his chest.

“If that was make-up sex, we’ll have to fight more often.” She giggled.

“NO, fighting upsets me too much. I could fuck you like that every night of we kept the circumstances the same. We were just full of passion and anticipating the Holiday, plus being home in our own bed, and don’t forget, it was making love and I love you so much.” Joe whispered as if someone else might hear.

Joe pulled the sheet and comforter up over them and they remained unmoved for another 7 hours.
