
         "Guest Specialist"
          by Pedro Vila



   "Hi I'm Mr. Weiner. You must be Midge. I've heard very good things about you. You have the potential of being one of the worlds top singers if your willing to go the extra distance. But I warn you, it might be tough work to get there."
   Midge beamed from the praise. Maybe she'd be discovered before her eleventh birthday.
   "Mrs, foster," the man next to Mr. Weiner said to Midge's proud mother. "I was worried when Mr. Steedle couldn't make it, but it turns out that Mr. Weiner here even better qualifications in his field then Mr. Steedle. He could be a great name on her resume'."
   Mrs. Foster turned to Mr. Weiner, "I am so grateful of you making time for my little star. I'll pay you what ever you want. Just make her the best you can."
   "Mrs. Foster," Mr. Weiner said half smiling. "I don't need money. My joy are my students. Now I must ask you both to leave. My methods are private and I wish to keep them a secret lest they be stolen. Would you two be so good as to come back in an hour or two? I promise you will notice a big difference in her when you return."
   "Of course, sir. Anything I can do to help."
   Mr. Weiner rushed them to the door. Mrs. Foster turned one last time and called to her daughter, "Do absolutely everything he tells you, dear!"
   "I will mom. Don't worry." Midge replied.
   Then they were alone.


   "Now, Midge. I warn you. My methods will be very different then what you are used to. You might even become afraid but I want you to be brave and give it everything you've got. Okay?"
   Midge nods sharply. She wants stardom so bad she can taste it.
   "Okay, I'm going to touch you now so don't be alarmed." Mr. Weiner grabs her shoulders and shakes her gently. "No. You must be looser. Relax." He grabs her upper arms and shakes her harder. "No. No. No." He lifts her arms a little and grabs her chest on each side and bends her backward a little.
   Midge tries to relax and she lets her arms and head drop down backward. Mr. Weiner holds her up and her lower body presses against his.
   "That's better. Now stay relaxed." He lifts her back up slowly with one hand on her neck and one hand on her lower back. She stays limp he hugs her to him for a moment, then he lets her go and steps back. Midge's face is a little flushed.
   "Very good. Now I need to make sure you trust me, so I'm going to stand behind you and you fall back to me, okay? I'm sure you done this before. Everyone has. Don't look back. I'll catch you."
   Midge take a few deep breaths and lets herself fall back where Mr. Weiner catches her. He holds her just under the shoulders and lets his hands slip forward a little to press against her flat chest.
   "Very good. Now we may start. Please stand up and perform a scale in middle C.
   "No. Your slumping. Chest out. No, more. No, no, no." Mr. Weiner stands beside her and puts his hand to his mouth. "Try standing like a gymnast right after she does a vault. Yes. Arms up. Higher. Stick your butt out more." Midge is straining and her eyes are wide. She understood what he meant by hard and was determined to make him proud.
   "No. Your still too tense. Stand like that but relax. That's better." Mr. Weiner stands and looks at her for what seems like a long time. Midge holds herself up as best as she can.
   "Oh, no. It's your clothes. They are too restraining. Singers, you may have noticed, always wear something loose. They never hinder their ability with heavy sweaters and pants such as those. I know it seems like a strange thing to ask, but could you take them off please? Otherwise, I don't know if I can help you.
   "You want me to turn my head? No. You trust me? That's just what I wanted to hear. Are those the Powerpuff Girls on your panties? I love that show. You too? Yes, I like all of them. I couldn't pick a favorite.
   "Hmmm. Could you lift your undershirt a minute. I need to see your lung capacity. Yes, hmmmm. You have an excellent frame, but you need to build up the muscles around there. No, not that kind of exercise. Probably one you haven't tried yet.
   "Okay, middle D again. What? Middle C? Oh, well, your clothes are not stopping you now so we can sing a higher note. Yes, that's it. Open your mouth wider. Look up. Arms back more. Legs apart some. Weight on both legs. That's good.
   "Yes, Midge. Please keep singing. I'll just watch. Oh, yes. You look wonderful. Your sound? Well, it still needs work. I'm not sure, sing again.
   "Ah. I know the problem. Yes, you need to push upwards from you insides. The, hmmm, the diaphragm. That's right. Well, your diaphragm muscles. You don't know which ones?! Who's been teaching you? Oh, well yes he's good. But how could you have gotten this far without being totally aware of every muscle of your body?
   "Well, it takes a long time to teach that. I don't think we have near enough time. Don't be upset. Please don't cry. There's one way, but I don't think your ready for it yet. Are you sure? Your such a brave girl. Oh, but this will be very tough on you.
   "Well, I have to push on your diaphragm myself and make you aware of which muscles to use. From inside. Yes, I might have to put my hand up in you. Oh, but no. Your too small I think. I only have one part of my body that can fit there, and I don't think your ready. Well, yes it would make all the difference, but....
   "No. You would no longer be a virgin, but you'd be a star. Yes I think Brittany Spears did learn this way too. That's true, she has been singing since she was very young. Younger than you in fact.
   "Okay, I'll do it! Don't thank me yet. This will be a lot of work. Oh, yes. I guess you will have to remove your underwear. Silly me. There you are. Oh, my. Your in better shape than I thought. Yes you are beautiful. Oh, I think the whole world would love to see you too. Yes, I meant when your older.
   "Oh, dear me. I'm afraid your much too short. Ah! Those footstools will do nicely. Hmmm, they do put you too high. I'm afraid you'll have to stand with your legs farther apart. That's better. My, your skin is so soft. She does? Every night? Is it slippery going on? Oh, I wish I had some right now.
   "Now, Let me stand behind you. Put your arms above your head. Nice. Now I'm going to put some KY jelly on you and work it in. You parents have some too? Now you know what it's for. I'm sure you won't need to keep borrowing it to practice with. Now I'm working it in. Ah, there it is. We'll need to get past that to get to your diaphragm.
   "You feel it in your belly button? Yes, that's good. We're on that right track. See how your breathing deeper now? Soon you'll be singing a new tune. Yes, I thought it was funny too.
   "Okay. I'm ready when you are. You are? Close your eyes now. Be totally aware of your body. You can feel me? No, it's not too big. I've done this with younger girls, you'll be fine. Relax.
   "Okay, now. Deep breath. Hold it.
   "AAHHH! Very good! Now that wasn't that hard now, wasn't it? Oh, dear me. It's not that big. Arms up. Now sing.
   "I don't know. Anything. Just feel yourself inside. All you feel is me? Funny. All I feel is you and your very tense. Yes, I can understand that, but you have to try. Now you sing and I'll push up.
   "There. Can you feel the diaphragm? You okay? Okay. We'll try again.
   "Now. Can you feel it? No?! Arch your back more. Butt more towards me. I'll need to go in deeper. We have to hit the diaphragm harder. You'll feel it.
   "I'm going to have to work myself into you deeper. No, this constant motion will actually help. See? I'm getting deeper every thrust. It's not so bad now? See? I told you.
   "Okay. Chest out more. Now sing. You feel it yet? No? Keep singing. You kind of sound like a skip in the record when we do this. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you laugh. Keep trying. That's good.
   "Look, I'm going to put my hands on your chest and try to help you. Oh, yes, they're wonderful. Yes, I meant that they were going to be wonderful. Implants? No. You don't need them.
   "I know I'm pulling you nipples. I'm trying to help. Just keep singing. Oh, yes. I am going faster. I'm getting close. Can you feel it? Keep singing! Yes! Feel it?
   "You do? Yes! Yes! Yes!!
   "YES!! That's it! You feel it? Oh, Yes! Yes! My, that was loud. Oh, god. That was fantastic. Whew. Go ahead and try it again. I'll just hold myself in you to be sure. Yes. That's it.
   "I am excited. You just wore my out. Oh, that's it! I think you've got it! Keep going.
   "I know your excited. Yes, we did do it, didn't we? Oh, I'll always remember you.
   "Let's just do it again just to be sure.
   "Oh, er... Hello Mrs. Foster. How long have you been standing there? Did you hear Midge? Yes, it was good wasn't it?
   "The police?! But I helped her!
   "I'm sorry Midge, but I must go. Remember me in your dreams."


   Mr. Weiner went out the fire escape and ran off.