
DISCLAIMER:  The following three stories contain the words acerbic, 
adept, ameliorate, apocryphal, assuage, blithe, constrict, credulous, 
dilatory, egregious, fatuous, guile, hedonism, impervious, incipient, 
irascible, lethargy, mundane, prolific, and redundant.  If these words 
offend you, or if you are not old enough to read these words in your 
community, then don t read any further.

                  Three Variations on a Theme
                            by
                         OddManOut



one

Sandy hunched over the computer, trying to think of what she wanted to 
say.  "The new Corlex series from Crayford:  Now with more flexibility 
and a faster speed!"  That was what the company gave her, and she was 
supposed to figure out a way to get a cliched old copy into something 
that sounded new and relevant.  So far, she d been through "Corlex!  Get 
more speed and flexibility for your money!", "Crayford gives you the 
Corlex edge!", and "For the tough jobs, get Corlex!"  They were all 
either old or apocryphal.  She felt like all the good advertising lines 
had already been taken, and the only option left was to be redundant.

"Working hard?"  Sandy turned to see Pat s blithe eyes peering over the 
walls of her cube.

"Pat!  Maybe you can help me with this."  Pat was one of the major 
players at Sandy s company.  She was adept at coming up with new copy, 
and was one of the most prolific people in the business.  It was Pat s 
guile that had just sold the Miller account, and she had been rewarded 
with another project that didn t take much time.

She came around and joined Sandy, grabbing the spare chair and pulling 
it up beside her.  Today, Pat was wearing a navy business dress with a 
white blouse.  The dress had a short hemline, and Sandy could see all 
the way up to her stocking-covered thighs as Pat scooted the chair close 
to her.  Pat s shoulder-length black hair had been pulled back into a 
bun today, providing finishing touches to the businesswoman s look.  She 
leaned forward next to Sandy, touching her arm softly with her hand.  
"So what s wrong?"

"I just can t think of any good copy" Sandy said acerbically.  "I don t 
think any original good copy exists anymore."  Pat cocked an eyebrow as 
she looked into Sandy s eyes.  "Do you always try to think up something 
new when you do a project?"  "Of course!"  Sandy cried.  "How else am I 
supposed to do it?  How can *you* think up new things, just like that?"  
Pat put her arm around Sandy s shoulder and tried to assuage her.  
"Well, the secret is, Sandy, that you don t do it like that."

"You don t?"  Sandy had always assumed that Pat could came up with 
perfect copy at whim.  Now that she thought of it, it seemed like a 
somewhat fatuous idea.  "Of course not, Sandy.  Here, let me show you."  
Pat took her hand off Sandy s shoulder and moved it to her leg as she 
drew her attention to the computer.  "Now, what you re doing is going 
for the catch phrase first.  What I do is start out by writing out the 
rest of the ad.  Then, when I m done with that, the hook line just seems 
obvious."  She gave Sandy s leg a light squeeze.  "Got that?"  "I 
guess,"  Sandy said with some apprehension.

"Great!"  Pat squeezed again, then looked Sandy in the eyes.  "Sandy, 
how about if I meet you here at five, and we ll work on this then?"  
Sandy was suddenly conscious of Pat s hand on her leg.  Pat had always 
been a good friend and confidant, but Sandy had never fantasized about 
her.  At least, not often.  She met Pat s gaze and said "Sure.  I ll try 
writing up the ad this afternoon, and I ll meet you at quitting time.  
OK?"  "It s a date!"  Pat said, and got up.

By the end of the day, Sandy had gone through several attempts at 
writing her ad, and they all came out sounding wrong.  No matter what 
she wrote, her copy seemed to have a mundane character that was 
impervious to amelioration.  Pat s work always seemed to reach out and 
grab you Sandy s just sat there lethargically on the screen.

The frustration was making Sandy irascible, and by the time Pam poked 
her head around the door, Sandy was letting her anger out on an innocent 
memo.  Sandy turned to see Pam, and snapped "Come in, I m still trying 
to write this dumb ad.  I hate it."  Pam pulled up a chair behind Sandy 
and placed her hands on Sandy s shoulders.  As she started to give Sandy 
a backrub, Pam silently read the copy on the screen.

When she was finished, Pam leaned forward until her mouth was next to 
Sandy s ear.  "Sandy?"  "Yes?"  "Do you mind if I make a suggestion?"  
"Go ahead."  Sandy s voice was flat and uncaring as she rocked against 
Pam s hands.  Pam continued.  "Well, what I think you need to do is look 
at your choice of words."

"What s wrong with my choice of words?"  Sandy s eyes were closed now, 
enjoying Pam s hands on her shoulders.  Pam seemed to know exactly where 
Sandy was tense, and which muscles to constrict to relieve these 
tensions.  Sandy could feel herself beginning to relax as Pam spoke.  
"Well, you see where it says that  Crayford has been in the business for 
thirty years? "  "Yeah?"  "Well, you can change your wording, so that it 
sounds sexier."  Pam s hands left Sandy s shoulders and slid up her 
neck, slowly squeezing the tendons at the base of her skull.  Sandy was 
still lost.  "How can it sound sexier?"  Pam thought for a second.  "Why 
not say,  Crayford has been going strong for thirty years ?  It makes 
them sound better in bed.  More manly."  Pam s hands slowly started down 
the middle of Sandy s back, pressing softly into each vertebra.

Sandy had to admit, it did sound better.  She highlighted the text and 
typed in the change.  Pam spotted another fix.  "Second sentence, second 
paragraph.   The new Corlex line dominates the competition. "  "That s a 
good one."  Sandy said as she made the change.  "I see one, Pam.  Right 
here.   With it s faster speed, the Corlex presents a stiff challenge 
for the workplace environment. "  Pam lit up.  "That s right!  You re 
getting it."  Pat spread out her hands and worked at Sandy s sides.  
"Try another."

Sandy looked over her copy, feeling more confidant already.  There:  she 
could change  more efficient  to  stronger .  And here:  instead of  The 
Corlex is waterproof  she could say  You can use the Corlex anytime, 
anywhere .  As Sandy worked through her ad with renewed zest, she barely 
noticed Pat s hands as they strayed over her body.

"Wait!"  Pam s hands jerked, and Sandy was surprised to find that they 
were now located just beneath her breasts.  "What is it?"  Sandy asked, 
her chest heaving from the surprise, and the intimacy of Pam s hands.

"You just said that Crayford has always finished one step ahead of the 
rest."  "Yeah?"  "Well, you don t want to imply they re premature, do 
you?"  "I didn t mean it that way, I meant "  Pam caressed Sandy s lower 
ribs softly, silencing her.  "What you want to do is get the customer 
more credulous, not turn him off.  Okay?"  "Okay."

Sandy went back to work, and Pam continued to get more intimate with 
Sandy s body.  Sandy knew she should say something, but it felt too good 
for her to tell Pam to stop.  Pam leaned forward, and cupped Sandy s 
breasts in her hands.  Sandy let out a soft moan, and stopped typing.  
Pam put her mouth next to Sandy s ear, and breathed, "Why don t we put 
that aside, and take a little break?"

Sandy could only nod her head yes as Pam undid the buttons on her 
blouse.  When Sandy s blouse was half open, Pam slid a hand under the 
silk to squeeze her soft globes.  Sandy threw her head back and relaxed, 
giving herself over to the hedonism.  Pam slid a tongue into her ear, 
and started whispering to Sandy all the little dreams she d had about 
this moment.

"I ve wanted to lay you back, and touch you everywhere.  I ve thought 
about your tongue, and how much I wanted to feel it on my pussy.  Will 
you tongue my clit for me, Sandy?"  Sandy could only nod, a slight smile 
on her face as she imagined Pam s taste and smell.  Pam rolled her chair 
around, and their lips met and parted.  Sandy s tongue caressed Pam s as 
they explored each others  mouths.  Pam slid her hand down Sandy s body, 
and undid the clasp on her slacks.  Snaking her hand under the elastic 
band, she rubbed a finger over Sandy s slick mound.  When Sandy felt 
this, she went rigid with pleasure, moaning into Pat s mouth when Pat 
pressed against her button.  Pat played with Sandy s clitoris for a few 
minutes, bringing her to the brink of orgasm, then taking her hand away 
for the dilatory pleasure of it.  Sandy whined at her, begging Pat to 
let her come.

"Not yet.  I want you to taste me first."  Sandy looked reluctant.  "I 
ve never done that before.  I won t know how."  "It s easy," Pat said as 
she undid her dress.  All you have to do is kiss me."  Pat pulled Sandy 
out of the chair and laid her down on the floor of the cube.  Putting 
her knees on either side of Sandy s head, she knelt over her body and 
undid her slacks.  She pulled the slacks down to expose Sandy s auburn 
bush, then dipped her head forward as she lowered her cleft toward her 
lover s face.

Sandy was apprehensive as she saw Pat s vagina coming towards her, but 
as she felt Pat start to lick her, the intense pleasure that ran through 
her nerves cleared away her inhibitions.  She took a tentative lick, and 
found Pat s fluids warm and musty, not at all egregious.  Best of all, 
she could feel Pat twitch slightly when she licked, and she enjoyed the 
power she got from it.

Both women laid on the floor, head to tail, as they licked and stroked 
each other s pussy.  Pat gasped as Sandy learned to flick her clit 
quickly with her tongue, and soon came with a shudder from the 
attention.  As she came down from the climax, she went back to Sandy s 
slit with renewed fervor.  Sandy, whose orgasm was already incipient, 
came within a few seconds of Pat s assault.

As she basked in the afterglow of her first lesbian climax, Sandy turned 
to her tutor and said "So what words do you need to use to sell to 
women?"



two

Cindy blithely flounced her way home from school, her red and white 
cheerleader s skirt flapping up to reveal her unusually brief red 
panties.  It had been a good day for her.  Today she d been more 
prolific than ever:  she d flashed her panties at five boys, and Mr. 
Hubble in her Geometry class!  It was so fun to tease them like that.  
She liked to see the reactions on their faces when she bent down in 
front of them to retrieve a book she had dropped.  But she wouldn t let 
them touch.  Oh no.  Cindy was a good girl, and she didn t do that kind 
of thing with boys.

As she rounded a corner, she almost ran into Mark.  Cindy recoiled with 
disgust.  Mark was one of those mundane geeks, and she didn t like the 
way he looked at her when he was around.  He was so vile, she probably 
wouldn t even flash her panties at him!  Cindy imperviously stepped 
aside to try and pass him, but Mark stepped with her.  "Not so fast, 
little girl," he said in a low voice.  "I ve got some business I d like 
to discuss with you."

Cindy screwed up her face in a petite pout and said  "You don t have any 
business with me, Mark Cody!  I m going home!"  Mark gave the fatuous 
girl a mean look and said "Oh yeah?  Well floodlegazoom!  Show me your 
panties!"  Cindy started to object, but suddenly her entire body felt 
heavier and sluggish, like she had been submerged in a vat of molasses.  
>From far away, she sensed her right hand reaching down and pulling up 
her skirt.  What was she doing?  She never wanted to show Mark her 
panties!  She tried to stop her egregious hands, and found that she 
couldn t.

Mark watched the nubile teenager pull up her skirt in front of him and 
thought "Hot Damn!  That ancient book the old gypsy sold me really 
works!"  He was beside himself with glee.  He thought for a second, then 
said "Okay Cindy, gab-zub!  Follow me home!"  He started to walk away, 
and was pleased when he saw Cindy take an awkward step to start after 
him.  This was going to be fun.

When they arrived at Mark s house, he made Cindy follow him down into 
the basement.  Cindy didn t want to go, but Mark shouted another word at 
her, and she found herself obediently descending the steps in front of 
him.  Mark made her sit down, then said "Cindy, kreck.  Sit still."  She 
immediately went rigid, and Mark put out his hand and began to squeeze 
her breast.  Whenever she masturbated, Cindy had always imagined what it 
would be like for a boy to feel her up.  Now, as she felt Mark s hand 
grab her tit, she bit back the tears as she sat helpless, unable to stop 
him.  Mark lifted her powerless arms and pulled the short cheerleading 
shirt off her body.  When he unfastened her bra, her big breasts bounced 
free and pushed the fabric to the sides.

Mark stepped back, impressed at his work.  Cindy remained motionless, 
but glared at him with flinty eyes.  Now that he had her at his mercy, 
his mind was overflowing with ideas.  Quickly he undid his pants and 
pulled them down to reveal an 8-inch slab of dick.  Pushing it into 
Cindy s face, he said.  "Dorklegleeb, Cindy.  Suck my cock."

The pretty schoolgirl looked up at him with a hateful look, but the look 
turned to surprise as she involuntarily pressed her mouth into his belly 
button and blew hard, making a loud raspberry.  Mark stepped back in 
shock.  That wasn t supposed to happen!  Wasn t  Dorklegleeb  the right 
word?  "Uh, kreck, Cindy.  Hold on a minute."

He ran upstairs, leaving Cindy to wonder what had just happened.  She 
really hadn t wanted to suck Mark s dick, but when he said that word, it 
seemed like she was drawn to  something.  She was relieved when she 
found that the urge passed once she blew in his belly button.  If only 
she had some way to ameliorate that horrible urge!  She was moping in 
her misery when Mark returned with a grin, holding an old dusty book in 
one hand.

He put the tome on a nearby table and said "All right, no more mistakes.  
Durklegleeb, Cindy.  Suck my cock!"  No sooner had the words left his 
mouth then Cindy s head shot forward and her lips clamped around the 
base of his member.  Her eyes were squeezed shut in disgust as she 
bobbed her head up and down his shaft, sliding her tongue over the 
pulsing veins.  Against her will, she relaxed her throat, and took him 
all in, constricting her lips and sucking hard at the base of his shaft.  
Mark closed his eyes and smiled as his unwilling lover gave him a 
magnificent blowjob.  He could feel his come rising, and almost pulled 
out, then decided to stay in her and give her a little surprise.  
Holding her head in his hands, he pushed his dick deeper into her mouth, 
then let forth a blast of semen.  Cindy s throat muscles worked 
automatically, pulling his come down her throat.

Mark waited for Cindy to suck the last traces of come from his penis, 
then pulled out of her mouth, satisfied.  Cindy gave him an acerbic 
look, but said nothing as he wiped himself off on the sleeve of her 
cheerleader s outfit.  As he zipped himself up, he smiled at the girl 
and said "I hope you liked that as much as I did.  You ll be doing a lot 
more of it soon enough."  "You ll never see me again, Mark!"  Cindy shot 
back in an irascible bark.  Her reaction didn t faze the boy, but 
instead a wide grin spread across his face.  He leaned down next to her 
and said "Corlecka, Cindy.  Listen to me."

Cindy s eyes instantly went from spiteful to lethargic, then closed as 
the nubile vixen assuaged herself and turned her complete attention to 
what Mark was saying.

"Now Cindy, I want you to forget everything that has happened to you 
since you first met me coming home from school.  Instead of coming with 
me, you went home and watched television for a few hours.  Tell me what 
you did, Cindy."

"I went home and watched television for a few hours."  Cindy spoke in a 
low voice, completely credulous of everything Mark was telling her.

"Right.  Now, who did you flash your panties to today?"

"Five boys.  And Mr. Hubble."

"Excellent.  Tomorrow I want you to flash your panties to six boys, and 
Mrs. Laskin."  Cindy squirmed a little as he spoke, but Mark overrode 
her.  "Cindy, If you do not do this, I shall make you flash without 
panties.  Do you want that?"  After a dilatory pause, she shook her head 
no.  "Right, then you ll do it.  Now run along, and as soon as you get 
home, I want you to think that you went straight home from school, and 
never stopped here on the way."  Mark knew it was redundant to say this, 
but he wanted to take no chances.

Cindy spoke again.  "I went home and watched television for a few 
hours."

"Exactly.  And Cindy, tomorrow I want you to go by my house again on the 
way home.  Gerflank, Cindy.  Go."  The pretty blond teenager stood up 
and slowly climbed the basement steps to leave the house.  After he 
heard her shut the door, Mark ran up the steps and looked outside the 
window.  Cindy walked slowly away from his house, then shook her head, 
cleared her eyes a bit, and flounced away, back to her apocryphal life.

Mark grinned to himself.  So far, he was only a novice at using the 
book, but he was more adept at its subtleties every day. He thought of 
how he had gotten Cindy to suck his cock today, and felt that it was a 
big step up from the hand job she had given yesterday.  With the 
luscious cheerleader under his control, the incipient potential for 
unrestrained hedonism was growing stronger every day.  The guile of 
making her forget what she did ensured that she would never tell anyone 
who would stop him from using her.

His head spinning with possibilities, Mark returned to the basement and 
pored through the book, practicing new words which he could inflict upon 
Cindy tomorrow.



three

" Looking up at me with a sexy smile, Tiffanie said "I ve just got to 
have your hot polish sausage buried in my creamy cunt!"  Her words drove 
me beyond the point of all control, and I picked up her 5 5", 105 pound, 
36C-20-36 body, spun it around, and planted it on my foot-long frank.  
As soon as she felt my rigid rod invade her honeyed hole, she clenched 
her cunt and came with an orgasmic scream of glee "

"Kurt?"  Kurt s head shot up. Why was he called on? He hadn t been 
making any noise!  From the front of the room, the study hall teacher 
fixed him with a steady gaze.  "What are you reading?"

Kurt held up the study guide, with the magazine carefully placed along 
the inside, away from her gaze.  "I m just working on vocabulary for the 
SAT, ma am."  He wanted the words to come out smoothly, but he stumbled 
a little as he spoke, and he could feel his face getting hot.  He had 
intentionally chosen the back corner of the room so that he would be 
able to read the mag without being seen by anyone else.  How had she 
known what he was really doing?

Too experienced to be credulous, the teacher came walking towards him.  
Suddenly Kurt realized the problem:  He had relaxed his fingers, and the 
study guide had slipped down, exposing the colorful top edge of the 
magazine for all to see.  Kurt s heart stopped.  He was doomed!  His 
parents were going to be called about this, and he would get grounded 
for life!  He would be the embarrassment of the school!  Three rows up, 
Kurt s number-one crush Sheila Hawkins looked back to see what was going 
on. When he saw her eyes widen with recognition, he was devastated.  She 
saw him see her, and whipped her head back around as the Study Hall 
teacher came up the aisle.

She stood by his desk and looked down at him, glass-framed eyes peering 
over large bosoms that Kurt had absolutely no interest in at the moment.  
"May I see, please?"  She held out her hand for the study guide that 
Kurt had closed on his desk.  Numbly he placed it in her hand.  The 
teacher picked up the nested guide and magazine, and quickly opened them 
up.  Kurt noticed that she still kept the porn magazine hidden from the 
rest of the class behind the study guide.  She flipped through it for a 
few seconds, then looked back at Kurt.

"Well, Kurt, I really don t think that anything in this is going to help 
your vocabulary much.  Do you?"  Kurt hung his head.  "No ma am."  Her 
eyes bore into his skull.  "And in Study Hall, your job is to work on 
academic matters, not  outside pursuits.  Am I correct?"  "Yes, ma am."  
Why was she tormenting him like this?  "Well, Kurt, in that case I ll 
have to take this "  Kurt heard her remove the magazine from the guide, 
but by the time he d whipped his head up she d adeptly rolled it into an 
unidentifiable tube--  "and leave you with this."  She placed the study 
guide back down on the table and walked back to the desk.  All eyes in 
the classroom were trying to discern exactly what had been confiscated 
from Kurt, but the magazine was too tightly rolled for any chance of 
identification.  As she arrived at the desk, the teacher looked back and 
said, "I ll see you in my office after school, Kurt."

Standing behind the desk, she placed the magazine in a drawer and gave 
the entire class an impervious stare.  "I suggest you all get back to 
work.  I didn t do this for your amusement you know."  As they realized 
that the identity of the contraband was not to be revealed, Kurt s 
classmates slowly turned back to their own work.  Kurt sat at his desk, 
trying to make himself as small as possible behind the study guide.  The 
guide itself was no good.  Vocabulary was Kurt s weak point, and all the 
guide did was show him a huge list of words that *could* be on the SAT.  
It gave him no helpful suggestions or shortcuts like it did in the 
reading comprehension section.  Now, after the embarrassment he had just 
received, he couldn t concentrate at all.  He sat there in a lethargy, 
staring at the wall of words in front of him, seeing no possibility of 
remembering any of them.

Three hours later, he was standing in front of her desk, waiting for the 
speech on the evils of dirty magazines.  "Sit down, Kurt."  Kurt pulled 
up a desk from one of the rows behind him, and warily slid into it.  As 
he did this, the teacher reached behind her head and undid her hair from 
its mundane bun.  Looking at Mrs. 801 this way, it occurred to him that 
his Study Hall teacher was actually a very attractive woman.  With her 
hair unbound, it traced its way over her shoulders and down her back in 
a way that made him want to stroke it.  He looked in her eyes, and 
instead of seeing the hard glare of authority, he saw a softer look of 
someone who was put in the uncomfortable position of punishing someone.  
Actually, Mrs. 801 looked pretty sexy, for her age.  She had to be at 
least ten years older than his own mother, yet she retained her womanly 
figure, with large supple breasts and a narrow waist.  Kurt found 
himself wondering if she had ever done any of the things described in 
the magazine, and discovered that he was beginning to develop an 
erection.

"Now, Kurt.  Why were you reading this,"  she held the magazine up from 
her desk, "when you should have been studying your vocabulary."  Kurt 
wriggled a little in the cramped desk, stammering for the right words as 
he attempted to conceal his growing bulge.  "Well, I It s like It s just 
It s just that I can t get anything out of that study guide.  Here, 
look."  He pulled the study guide from his bag and opened it to the 
vocabulary page.  "All it does is give you this huge number of words and 
tell you to memorize them.  I can t memorize all these!  It s no use!  
At least I can understand what s in there."  Kurt aimed an irascible eye 
at the magazine.

Mrs. 801 thought for a moment, then said, "There are other ways of 
memorizing words, you know.  Why don t you look up the definitions, then 
incorporate each of the words into a sentence?  That would be better 
than  just rote memorization."  Kurt nodded his head.  "Yes, Mrs. 801."  
The teacher gave him an acerbic glance, then looked away for a second.  
When she looked back, she had an unusual expression on her face.  She 
leaned forward and looked Kurt in the eye.  Kurt could smell a faint 
perfume on her, and had to restrain himself from looking down her 
blouse.

"Now Kurt, I am not a person who is against hedonism, but I can t have 
my students blithely reading things like this in my study hall, no 
matter how they try to hide it.  It just doesn t work.  Now what s 
usually done in this situation is that I confiscate this magazine and 
make a call to your parents to tell them of what you ve done."  Kurt s 
heart sank.  She was going to tell after all.  "However, in this case I 
think we can work out a different solution."  Kurt looked up.  He was 
willing to do anything to keep his parents from finding out!  His mind 
whirled as he tried to guess what his sexy teacher wanted for her 
silence.

Mrs. 801 picked up the magazine again and idly thumbed through it.  
"While I was waiting for you, Kurt, I took the opportunity to read some 
of the stories in this magazine."  Kurt s boner swelled.  She *did* want 
to do it with him!  His erection assuaged as she went on.  "Reading 
through these stories, I was surprised at the generally egregious 
quality of writing in them.  They aren t even close to erotic.  The 
editors seem to be more interested in being prolific than in genuine 
quality or plot.  Did you notice that too?"  Kurt nodded, but inside he 
was confused.  What was she getting at?

What she said next almost made him fall out of her chair.  Mrs. 801 
closed the magazine, then picked up her purse and began to fumble about 
in it.  "Now Kurt, you know that I m an English teacher, but I also have 
activities that are  outside of the school curriculum.  I act as kind of 
a critic for a forum on the Internet.  This forum is dedicated to 
stories of the kind found in your magazine, but usually they are of much 
better quality."

Kurt was stunned.  "You mean, like, sex stories?"  Mrs. 801 gave him a 
warm smile, and said,  "Yes, Kurt.  Exactly."  He couldn t believe it.  
Imagining his teacher reading the magazine was already too much for him.  
Now he found that she not only read these stories, but critiqued them as 
well!  A glimmer of hope went through him as he realized that the 
teacher might not call his parents or write a report on his reading the 
magazine.  After all, she did the same thing, didn t she?

Mrs. 801 pulled a key from her purse, and unlocked one of her desk 
drawers as she continued.  "Recently, I presented a kind of contest to 
the forum, to find out who could write the best story given a particular 
constraint.  Ten of these stories were submitted to me, and I printed 
them out for easier reading."  She pulled a small stack of paper from 
the drawer and placed it on the desk.  "I have already read and ranked 
these stories on my own scale, but I think that in this case, it would 
help to be redundant."  Looking at Kurt over her glasses, she pushed the 
stack towards him.  "If you can read these stories, rank them, and just 
write a couple of sentences on each one, defending your rank, you can go 
home, and I won t report you or call your parents.  Does that seem 
fair?"

Kurt nodded his head quickly, eager to ameliorate his situation before 
she changed her mind.  "That sounds great, Mrs. 801.  When should I 
start?"  "You can start right now, Kurt.  I need to go to a teacher s 
meeting, but I should be back in two hours.  If you have the stories 
graded by then, you can go.  Otherwise, I won t really have any choice 
but to take the usual route.  OK?"  Kurt reached for the stack of papers 
as she headed for the door.  Suddenly something occurred to him.  "Mrs. 
801?"  She paused in the doorway and looked back at him, eyes shining.  
"Yes, Kurt?"  "What was the constraint?"  She gave him a quick smile and 
said, "Oh, nothing that really matters.  You ll see."  With that she 
closed the door, and Kurt heard her key turn in the lock.  Kurt 
stiffened, but realized that Mrs. 801 probably didn t want anyone coming 
in and seeing what she was having her students do.

Hard-on raging, he pulled the first story off the stack and began to 
read.

"Of all my ribald experiences, the most retentious is a chronicle of my 
dalliance with the contralto of my local church choir ."

Kurt stopped reading for a second and rubbed his eyes.  He couldn t 
understand any of that sentence.  Maybe it would become clearer later 
on.  He struggled through the story, trying to find the sex part.

" Her body quavered and her resonant voice ululated as I thrust my 
adamant spar into her pyrexic stope "

Was that it?  He couldn t even tell.  He put the story down and searched 
the room for a dictionary.  The bookshelves were filled with grammar 
books, books on format, biographies, textbooks and great works, but no 
dictionaries.  Not even a thesaurus.  He thought about going to the 
school library to find one, but remembered that the door was locked.  
His throat constricted, and beads of sweat began to form on his forehead 
as he realized the apocryphal nature of Mrs. 801 s "compromise".  She 
had never intended to let him off easy, it was just a dilatory guile to 
prolong his agony!  How could he have been so fatuous?  He cursed his 
teacher s ruthlessness, but he realized that reading the confusing 
stories was the only way to put off his incipient humiliation.  Wearily, 
he picked up the next story and began to read.

"My latest inamorata is not only blessed with flaxen hair and a 
pneumatic soma, but in spirit she is also a quintessential libertine.  
Rarely can I contemplate a lecherous thought that has not already been 
assessed by her fescennine psyche.  One forenoon, we were juxtaposed 
atop her divan when a rap on the portal proclaimed the arrival of one of 
her cognates.  For most, this would mean the quashing of our prurient 
bivouac, but for my roué, it was only an incitement to further 
licentiousness ."


			THE ABROGATION

"It is only the great men who are truly obscene.  If they
 had not dared to be obscene, they could never have dared
 to be great."
-Havelock Ellis
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