Title: Faith fucks the Charmed Ones
Author: Oric13
Universe: Charmed/Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Category: Crossover
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: Faith/Phoebe, Faith/Piper, Prue/Faith
Keywords: F/F, lesbian, oral, anal, fist, Fdom, spank, TV-parody
Summary: Faith leaves Sunnydale and ends up in San Francisco where she meets the Halliwell sister. What happens then? Well, the title pretty much says it all...
Timeline: For Charmed somewhere near the end of season 2 - For BtVS during season 3, just before Bad Girls (S03E14) happened.

Notes: This story is told from Faith's POV.

Disclaimer: This story is based on the characters from the TV show "Charmed" that belongs to Warner Brothers, and is not meant as an infringement on their copyright of the series.



Faith fucks the Charmed Ones
by Oric13



Chapter 1 - Meeting the Halliwells


Things were getting kinda tense between me and the Scoobies, making me decide to take a break from the whole Sunnyhell thing... At first I considered headin' back to Boston, but I quickly changed my mind about that. It's not like I actually had something to go back to there... Besides, I was getting kinda hooked on the whole California experience: the sun, the sea, the chicks in skimpy outfits... It just sorta made me GET the Beach Boys lyrics - if I wasn't WAY too cool to ever listen to the Beach Boys, that is.

Anyhow, I travelled around a bit and finally ended up in San Francisco. Pretty cool city, with plenty of opportunities for some girl-on-girl action, so it seemed like the perfect place to hang. No shortage of slaying, either: not a night went by that I didn't get to beat the crap outta some vamps or demon. But those baddies weren't even the biggest problem in this town. 

For some reason, San F. was crawling with some kinda demon/witches half-breeds called "warlocks": hard-to-kill mother fuckers with some nasty powers, who seemed to be drawn to this city like Xander to a donut. Just like vamps, most of them looked human - right till the point when they suddenly try flambéing your ass with fireballs.

It didn't take me long to figure out that a stake through the heart just doesn't cut it with these guys. But chopping off their heads with my trusty axe that I "borrowed" from Giles, worked lika charm! And luckily, they're polite enough not to leave a collection of human-looking body parts lying around for the cops to find after I slay 'em. Once dead, they clean up just as nicely as vamps, only way cooler. Some of these suckers go up in flames, others explode - or implode - into a billion pieces, some even do a kick-ass light show before hightailing it to Hell.

Fucking weird, but whatever...

It was while fighting one these nasty fuckers that I suddenly got some unexpected help from three witches. Now, I've had a bit of experience with witches before. That's one of the "benefits" of living in Sunnydale, eventually you'll encounter just about any magical creature there is. And let's not forget that Red's an aspiring witch. But these witches were unlike any other I've seen... and they made one helluva first impression!

*****

I was out patrolling in one of San F.'s many parks, when I came across this woman picking weeds - or maybe they were herbs, I dunno. And why she felt the need to do a little gardening at midnight, in a public park, I've got no fucking clue either - but I don't think she deserves to be killed for it. 

Someone else seemed to disagree.

Suddenly this guy appears out of nowhere and tries to make a shish kebab outta the poor bitch using this big-ass dagger. Or should I say poor witch, 'cause that's what that warlock guy called her.

Well, if she is a witch then she didn't have much in the power department, 'cause all she did was scream and run for her life with the warlock dude following after her, calling out lame-assed threats.

He was pretty melodramatic too, all: "Your life is forfeited and your powers will be MINE witch!" Sheesh! Gimme a freakin' break. This guy obviously read way too many comic books growing up.

*sigh*

Okay, I admit it, I like comic books too, but I don't make it a way of life like some people do - for example, this guy.

It's too bad he's such an obvious closet comic book nerd - Oh, and a demonic killer as well - 'cause he looked damn fine. Buff build, wavy brown hair you just wanna run your fingers through, and an incredibly handsome face... I'm telling ya, this guy could be a Calvin Klein underwear model, except he was wearing a dark Armani suit (sure, you can say a whole lotta nasty things about these warlocks, but DAMN! Most of them really know how to dress), and he's more likely to be employed by the devil, or one of Satan's little minions, then Calvin Klein (yeah, I know, but I'm sure there IS a difference).

Hmm, now where the hell was I?! Oh, right! This hippie chick is being chased through the park by a knife-wielding maniac/comic book fanatic/warlock... and I considered this the perfect time to jump from the bushes and show this nutter that mine's way bigger then his - by which I mean my axe.

So I leapt in front of him and gave a mighty swing with my axe in the direction of his neck... Then, with the blade of the axe only an inch away from his neck, the bastard suddenly disappeared (Man! I really HATE enemies who teleport - damn cheats!). So instead of chopping off his head, like it shoulda, the axe swung around and went right through a tree trunk - cutting off the top half of the tree with one fell swoop.

Whoa! This must be one of those Gin-Su axes that can cut through anything.

Hippie chick takes a moment from her fleeing to call out to me that Mother Nature is my friend and I should treat her with more respect. She seemed about to continue her lecture when knife-wielding warlock reappeared (which I considered damn good timing on his part) and she quickly scurried away.

Warlock-dude turns to me, all upset for some reason, and decides to exchange his knife for some nifty lightning bolts, which he then proceeds to throw my way.

So there I was, dodging freakin' lightning bolts like Xena in that episode when Callisto has all these cool, godlike powers.

Let me tell ya, after being in the exact same spot: I don't get how Xena could've won that fight so easily, 'cause for me, things were beginning to look pretty fucking bad with that lightning bolt throwing maniac blowing up every bit of cover I could hide behind. 

The bastard had a pretty good aim too, and already managed to nick me twice with a bolt, almost turning me into extra-crispy Faith... when, suddenly, help appeared in the form of three beautiful women. 

For a moment there I thought I'd died and went to heaven - then I noticed that warlock-dude was still present, which pretty much ruled out the heaven thing. He'd spotted the gorgeous gals as well and abruptly stopped pelting me with lightning bolts, instead turning his full attention to the new arrivals.

Can't say I blame him, 'cause they looked damn noticeable.

Not only did they dress like they're about to attend a movie premiere (two of them were actually wearing high stiletto heels way past midnight in the middle of a freakin' park!), all three of them were incredibly good-looking. 

Apparently, warlock-dude had a former run-in with the glamorous ladies 'cause he recognized them instantly. 

"The Charmed Ones!" he vehemently hissed while taking a threatening step in their direction. Wow! This guy has a real flair for the dramatics. Only thing missing is a cape he can use as a prop.

There was this moment of total silence as the three women and warlock-dude glared at each other... Then, all of a sudden, warlock-dude lets out this loud roar that literally shook the surrounding trees and hurled a huge lighting bolt straight at them.

Just before the big-assed bolt reached them, the long-haired cutie on the left quickly raised her hands, making the bolt freeze in midair a couple of feet before them. Half a second later, the angry-looking one in the middle sends the bolt flying back to its master with a casual wave of her hand.

The lightning bolt crashed into warlock-dude's chest, making him fly back across the clearing.

Before he could get up, the three witches stepped closer, holding hands while they chanted:


"Warlock Garnoth, we banish thee!"
"Leave this Earthly realm, never to return."
"As we command, so shall it be - by the Power of Three!"


Okay, that must be some of the most god-awful rhyming I've ever heard! Have to admit, though, the results were pretty impressive. Warlock-dude started screaming like his hair's on fire... seconds later, not only his hair but also the rest of him actually IS on fire! Then, with a loud thunderous noise, his flaming remains were sucked into the ground, and warlock-dude was a goner.

Bye, warlock-dude! Our relationship was a short, yet intense one. But, let's face it: with a name like "Garnoth" it never coulda worked between us, anyway.

Coming out from behind my hiding place - one of the few trees left standing in a fifty yard radius - I gave the three cute chicks a friendly wave, and went over to retrieve my trusty axe that I was forced to drop earlier.

Picking it up, I quickly examined it and wiped some dirt from the blade. Looking up, I noticed that the three witches were eyeballing me, looking a bit baffled, like they've no freakin' clue what to do. Kinda like the look B often gets during a lengthy research session. Guess they weren't expecting any company at their magic show.

The three shared a long look, then slowly headed my way. When they're only 3-4 yards away from me, they suddenly stopped and didn't come any closer - keeping a safe distance between us.

Hmm, maybe the huge battleaxe I'm holding is making me look somewhat unapproachable?

"Uh... are you okay?" the right one - the brunette with the biggest tits of the three - asked, eyeing my scorch marks with a worried look.

I gave the cutie my most dazzling smile. "Five by Five. Thanks for askin', hon."

The three witches shared another look, then the middle one spoke up, "Look, you're probably wondering what that was all about... and I--"

"Nah, not really," I cut in. "It's pretty obvious that you're witches who hunt warlocks - same as I do."

My little revelation only seemed to confuse them even more.

"You're also a witch?" the middle one questioned somewhat sceptically while eyeing my axe.

"Nope. I'm a vampire slayer - THE vampire slayer. But I basically hunt all kinda supernatural baddies." 

Flashing the glamorous ladies a confident grin, I threw my axe up in the air - letting it spin around a few times before catching it again, while all the time keeping my eyes on the girls.

"And this is one of my "tools of the trade"."

"So vampires also exist?!" the left one groaned.

"'fraid so, cutie." I smirked. Couldn't help it. That one is really adorable.

Her face turned all red, which made her look even more adorable.

The black-haired beauty in the middle cleared her throat. "Anyhow... like you already guessed, we're witches. We're also sisters, and are known as the Charmed Ones - mostly by the demons and warlocks that we vanquish. My name is Prue, I'm the eldest. The cutie here is actually named Piper. And this little vixen is my youngest sister Phoebe."

The youngest - Phoebe - smirked at her big sister, and gave me a little wink. "Nice to meet ya!"

"Likewise," I grinned. "I'm Faith."

The young witch shot me a bright smile. "Cool name! Faith the Vampire Slayer."

Normally, I don't smile that much - just not my thing - but she had such a great smile, I automatically found myself smiling back.

"Yeah, it sure as hell beats "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"."

They looked at me kinda puzzled.

"Private joke," I clarified.

Phoebe smirked, and then turned her attention to my tits - or to the scorch mark close beneath them - could be either one. "Are you sure you're okay? That burn looks nasty, and so does the one on your thigh."

"No biggie," I reassured her. "We Slayers heal quick."

"I thought you said you're THE Slayer - as in the only one," the eldest sister remarked. Hmm, pretty observant that one.

"Yeah, well... there's supposed to be only one Slayer," I began explaining, "that's what the prophecy is all about."

"What prophecy?" Prue questioned.

"Hmm, let's see... Oh, right: "In every generation there is a chosen one. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is... the Slayer!" ... and that's about it."

I shot them a smirk. "Pretty lame 'ey? Anyhow, the way it works is that some girl gets to be the Slayer, which basically means she's much stronger & faster then the average human. Sounds pretty cool, doesn't it... but at the same time she also gets shafted with the sacred duty to slay vamps, demons and other assorted supernatural baddies... Anyhow, the fun usually lasts for a couple of years, by that time she's likely to get done in by some mega nasty demon or vamp, and another girl becomes the Slayer. It's been going like that for several millennia... Then, a couple of years back, the current Slayer got killed as well, but instead of staying dead like the others, she was revived a couple of minutes later... by then, another Slayer had already been called. So then there were two."

Prue nodded thoughtfully. "And are you that second Slayer, or the one that was revived?"

"Neither, actually. That second Slayer got killed by a master vampire about a year after she was called, making me the next Slayer."

"So now there are still two Slayers?" Phoebe asked.

"Yup, and I'm guessin' it's probably gonna stay that way until B bites the big one."

"B?"

"Short for Buffy - that's the name of the Slayer who came back from the dead."

"Poor girl," Piper said, looking a bit teary-eyed after hearing my cliff notes version of Slayer history. I know just how ya feel, hon. I remember back when Giles gave me the - lengthy - version of this story, I was bored to tears as well.

I shot her a sympathetic smile. "Yeah, tell me about, I'd hate to be stuck with a name like Buffy."

"I was actually referring to the dying part," Piper clarified.

"Oh... well, in that case, the one you really should be feeling sorry for is Kendra. She's the one who died and DIDN'T get revived."

Piper blushed again. 

Heh. She looks so darn cute when she does that.

"Personally, I'm feeling kinda sorry for all you Slayers," Prue stated. "Sounds like you girls got an even lousier deal from The Powers That Be then we did."

"Yeah," Phoebe chimed in. "At least we've got each other, and something resembling a life."

I shrugged. "Whatcha gonna do? Suing them is pretty much outta the question."

"Well, the first thing we're gonna do, is getting those wounds of yours taken care off," Prue announced in a tone that allowed for no argument. "They look way too serious to remain unattended, no matter how well you heal."

Whoa! Sounds like this Prue is a real "take charge" kinda gal. 

Mmmm, I like that!

Next thing that happened, managed to surprise even me - and I've seen a LOT of weird shit. The shy, cute chick suddenly starts calling out, "Leo! Leo! LEO!!" like she hasn't got all her marbles in place.

And just when I'm about to ask her sisters if it isn't time for lil' Piper's medication, this twirl of blue-white lights appeared, which moments later formed into a really good-looking guy, casually dressed in jeans and a t-shirt.

"Hey girls, what's going on?" he asked while directing a smile at the three witches.

"Hey, Leo!" Piper greeted him warmly. "We've got someone in need of a little healing."

Turning to me, she announced, "Faith, this is Leo." 

"Hey." I saluted him with my axe and he took a quick step back.

Yeah, this battleaxe definitely makes me look kinda unapproachable. Maybe painting it pink would... Nah! Screw it! That would be a waste of a perfectly good axe.

Turning back to the hunky (and also jumpy) guy, Piper continued the introductions, "Leo, meet Faith, she's a Vampire Slayer."

He nervously smiled and gave me a little wave. "Uh... Nice to meet you, Faith."

"Leo's our white-lighter," Piper explained. "He watches over us and helps us when needed."

Hmm, judging from the sappy tone in cutie's voice, and the lovey-dovey look she and light-boy are sharing, I'm betting they've got something goin' on.

"All witches have one," Phoebe clarified.

What?! Okay, this just pisses me off!

"Damn! So every witch gets their own personal little boy toy?! All we Slayers get is a watcher - and most of them are senior citizens!" 

Piper started blushing again while Prue and Phoebe looked like they're trying to keep from laughing. Light-boy, on the other hand, looked downright insulted.

He got all huffed up, which was kinda neat to watch. 

"Hey!! Excuse me! I'm NOT a boy toy!" Light-boy fiercely declared. 

Whoa! You'd think I'd just insulted his manhood or something... 

Heh. Funny stuff.

"He really isn't," Prue came to Light-boy's defence, while trying to hide the smirk on her face. "Leo's sort of our magical protector. He heals us whenever we get injured in the line of duty, and is also our link to the elders who - occasionally - provide us with information about the latest magical threat."

"And as an added bonus he also does a lot of work around the house," Piper put in.

"Yeah, and he also does Piper," Phoebe helpfully added.

Heh. I KNEW IT! And there's that pretty blush on Piper's cheeks again - and on her boyfriend's cheeks as well.

"PHOEBE!!" Piper cried out mortified while aiming a punch at her little sister's arm.

"Oww!!! That hurts!" Rubbing the sore spot on her arm, Phoebe poked Piper's arm. "See how you like it!"

Piper instantly returned the favour.

I looked on with interest at what had plenty of potential to become a full-blown catfight, when Prue quickly stepped in between her bickering sisters and calmed things down.

"Hey! We summoned Leo to heal Faith, not you two! So take it easy, and let's remember we have company here."

What?! Not even a couple good bitch-slaps?  

*sigh* Killjoy. I so love a good catfight.

Big sister then turned her attentions to me and light-boy. "Can you heal those burn marks, Leo?"

Light-boy stepped closer, and after quickly looking over my wounds he nodded. "Sure, no problem."

Looks like light-boy has some pretty cool mojo besides the lightshow I saw earlier: he raised his hands to the burn mark on my belly and a bright, yellow light shone from them. When the light touched the burned skin, the throbbing pain I felt disappeared. And a couple of seconds later, my skin was completely healed.

And not only was my skin healed, but my shirt as well! Wow! That's pretty wicked. If he can heal my shirt then maybe he could have a go at my favourite leather jacket that some inconsiderate vamp tore up.

But I should probably wait till he's over that boytoy thing before asking.

After taking care off the burn mark on my belly he healed the burn on my leg AND my leather pants. Now this is some useful magic!

"Hey, thanks man! This sure beats Slayer healing and shopping for new clothes."

"You're welcome," he smiled.

Light-boy seems pretty cool. If he and cutie weren't already together, doing the down the dirty, I'd happily give him a taste of my own special brand of magic... After all, there's really no better way to thank a guy than with a good, hard fuck, I always say.

Suddenly, light-boy got this concentrated look on his face and perked his ears like he's Lassie.

"Uh-oh, I've got to go, I'm getting a summons from the Elders," he declared while giving the gals an apologetic look. Hurrying over to Piper, he gave her a quick kiss. "I'm sorry I can't stay longer, Piper."

She kissed him back and smiled. "Don't worry about it, I'll see you tonight."

Awww, how sweet... too bad it's giving me flashbacks of Angel and B's freakin' soap opera relationship. Ugh!

Once again, light-boy did his lightshow, only now in reverse. As he began to disappear he waved at us. "Bye girls!"

"Bye, Leo!" the three sisters called out together.

"Later, dude," I said while giving him a friendly wave with my axe. 

And then he was gone.

*****

Shortly after light-boy made himself scarce, the three sisters had a little powwow to decide what to do with me. They huddled together a bit farther from me - but not far enough to stop my slayer-hearing from picking up every word they said.

Hmmm, maybe I should've mentioned my super-sensitive hearing when I told them about Slayers? Oh, well... no harm no foul!

"So, whaddaya think?" the youngest witch -Phoebe- asked.

"About what?" the oldest sister -Prue- replied.

"About Faith, of course," Phoebe said, "and what she told us about Slayers: one girl to stand against the vampires, the demons, and the forces of darkness?"

Big sister appeared to consider that question before shrugging. "Honestly? I'm not sure... the whole "sacred duty thing", fighting the forces of darkness, sounds like something straight out of a comic book..."

"But so does our very own Charmed Ones' prophecy, which coincidently sounds a whole lot like the Slayers' story," Piper cut in.

"That's a pretty good point," Prue conceded.

Phoebe nodded. "Exactly. So I think we should give her the benefit of the doubt, at least until we've had Leo check out her story."

Aha! Maybe that's what that "summons from the elders" was all about - checkin' my credentials.

"Okay, but what do we do in the meantime?" Piper questioned. "Have her stay at the manor?"

"Why? She obviously already has a place to stay," Prue said. "She just told us she's been here for almost a week - I don't think she slept on a bench in a park that whole time."

"Yeah, but she might need our help," Phoebe said. "I'll bet it's no coincidence that we ran into her here, she must be an innocent we have to protect."

An innocent? Me? Heh. I think that's the first time I've EVER been called that.

"She looks like she can take care of herself, Phoebe."

You've got that right!

"But if she does need our help then its best if she stays in the manor, where we can keep an eye on her," Piper suggested. 

Hmm, sounds like cutie is the mediator of the three.

UberSister still didn't seem convinced, so Piper and Phoebe aimed their big, brown puppy-dog eyes on their big sis and pleadingly looked at her until she caved in, which didn't take long.

"Okay, okay! She can stay," Prue exclaimed, throwing up her hands in disgust. "Damn cheats! You know I can't say no when you look at me like that."

The two younger witches giggled and high-fived each other.

Heh. Cute. It's at times like this, I'm really wishing I also had some siblings I could share those kinda moments with - especially sisters like these. And that's not the only thing I wish could be different about my "family". 

Oh well... Life's a bitch, and then you die.

Having finished their little get-together, the glamorous gals headed back over to me and announced their proposal to take me, the poor lil stray Slayer, into their home.

I acted all surprised and reluctant to go with them - but I didn't make it difficult for them to convince me, though... I mean, free room and board don't sound half bad when you're living in some fleabag motel you can hardly afford. And when it's offered by three gorgeous women, then it's not a tough choice.

So after playing hard to get for a bit, I accepted their offer and followed them to their car.

During the ride to their place, I started chatting up the sisters - to see what they're about... Got to say, the longer I talked to them, the more I got to like them - and considering that I basically liked them already from the moment we met, these are some pretty -unusual- strong feelings for me. Only other person I've felt these kinda intense feelings for after just meeting 'em, is B. And I always figured that's because we're both Slayers.

But enough of this touchy-feely crap...

It's actually Phoebe who talked the most during the ride; she's like this little bundle of energy, practically bouncing on her seat while telling me all about their life as the Charmed Ones.

Damn that girl's adorable - I could hardly take my eyes off of her. Her long, brown hair was pulled back and tied into a ponytail that swung around while she enthusiastically told me about their latest adventure. Something about a demon who could appear in old movies - seems like a pretty lame power to me. But anyway, I kept getting distracted; first by her ponytail, and then by her big tits which were bobbing hypnotically beneath her tight blouse. Little sister sure as hell wasn't wearing a bra - and definitely wasn't little in the boob department. Damn!

I'm pretty sure she caught me checking out her assets. The little sexpot didn't seem to mind, though. In fact, if anything, she stuck out her chest a bit further - the little tease.

Heh, seems like Pheebs swings both ways. And if she's THIS passionate while telling me a story, I can just imagine what a little hellcat she must be in the sack - and I've got a damn good imagination.

Mmmm, can't wait to try her out. 

The two older sisters also managed to get an occasional word in. And I soon found out that Piper isn't as shy as she first appeared. Judging by some of the snarky, smart-ass comments she made during Pheebs' quick recap of Charmed Ones' history, that girl has no problem speaking her piece.

And even UberSister turned out pretty damn decent once you've got passed her icy exterior. She got that same deadpan, wicked sense of humour that Piper has.

So by the time we arrived at their place, I was really getting into the whole sleepover thing. 

Thing is, I've always dreamed of getting it on with three gorgeous sisters... Sure, in my fantasy they're usually triplets, but this is even better - I kinda like a bit of variety. Dunno if they're into that sorta thing, though...

Well, I'd bet my favourite (among the three that aren't shredded) leather jacket that Phoebe is, but I'm not so sure about the other two P's... I'm gettin' some repressed lesbian vibes from lil' Piper, so I'm pretty confident I can seduce her like I did with B. And that was one straight girl before I got my hands on her. But with Prue... it's hard to get a good read on that chick.

Anyhow, with me crashing at their crib, it looks like I'll have plenty opportunity to find out.


To be continued in Chapter 2 - Fucking Phoebe