Nina

Chapter 11

The trip home was good, the post-vacation mixture of satisfaction, sadness and fatigue. Nina and I talked. Sandy started off talking, but got quieter and quieter and then I saw her curled up in the corner of the back seat, belted in, sound asleep in one of those positions we all can do when we're young but we lose that ability with age.

"I thought it was good trip, darlin'," I told Nina.

"Oh, me too! I liked linking up with Brenda and Jake, and Sandy had plenty of friends her age."

"Yeah, last time, I felt like I had to entertain 'er. It was tough."

"I can see where it might be. She's constant. Active. And smart. Got her daddy's brain, I think." Nina smiled. "You know, sometimes I wonder..."

"Wonder what, dearest?"

"Me and you ... what ours would be..."

Bang! The sound of my blood pressure spiking. She knew about the vasectomy. I turned to glance at her.

"Just idle thought or two, baby," she said. "You know how much I love you. And we've had that talk about kids before we got married. But seeing Sandy. You know she's more than half of YOU."

"I watched you and her playing, Nina. Can't say that I didn't get thoughts myself. But our own? Full-time is a lot different than baby-sitting or even summer weeks. And Sandy's fun right now, but when she was born. Little darlin' didn't sleep a full night until she was three."

"Just idle thoughts, baby," she said.

But I could see the eyes. "So, Miss Idle Thought, when was this injected into the 'Dan & Nina's Plan For Life'? And don't tell me you haven't thought THAT far into it. I know my Nina."

She cast her eyes down momentarily and came up smiling. "College out of the way, maybe, and my first job. You'll be forty-five. Is that asking too much?"

"Nothing you could ever ask would ever be too much, dearest."

"Don't rush off yet, baby," she said. "We need to think about how this all works."

A million tracks were playing out in my head. My Nina ... Sandy ... and a possible fourth, to be determined later.

The countryside passed almost without visual impact, as is often the case when traveling down the interstate. Nina's hand grasped my bicep. She twisted in her seat and put her chin on my shoulder.

"You and me. I want US to have everything life can give us. We love each other."

"Yes we do, little one," I said.

"Are you up for adventure, Dan? 'Cuz I AM! Since I met you, it's been an adventure. Not the 'fighting off crocodiles' kind of adventure, just the kind where every day you seem to open the door on something happy and exciting. I like OUR life." She jerked her head in the direction of the little blonde in the back seat. "She's part of it. I was worried that I married her daddy and she'd hate me. Now I feel like some weird combination of big sister and friend, with only the tiniest bit of step-mom thrown in."

"I can see that. I probably wasn't as worried about the 'hate me' part. Mine was 'you abandoned me for this girl'. Didn't see that, either. But it IS a lot easier being dad with you as a pleasant distraction."

"Distraction in WHAT way, sir?" she giggled.

"Bunches of 'em," I said. All good. "You must've been one HELL of a baby-sitter."

"Uh, those were brats compared to Sandy, Dan. Mommy spoils them to make up for pursuing her career."

"On Saturday afternoons? What kind of career is that?" I asked.

"Upper tier hairdresser."

"I thought daddy was a lawyer?"

"Is," she said. "Mommy's one of those people with stunning hair that go about trapping men with odd tastes." Giggle. "You know how some men are."

"I've seen some striking hair in my day."

"Some people, babe," she said, "LIKE what they do, even if it means leaving their kids on Saturday afternoon."

"Still odd," I said.

"But Sandy doesn't act spoiled. I mean, she DOES try to push the limits, but you push back, and she stops." Pause. "Or I push back, and she stops. And smiles like she knows what she's doing and I know what she's doing."

The conversation continued twisting its way from one branch to another and the miles passed. Sandy woke up, rubbing her eyes. "Yall finished talkin' about me?"

"You? Why would we talk about you? You're a horrible child..." Nina giggled.

"I woke up, you know, just a little bit."

"And that's why we didn't talk about your truly horrible characteristics, Sandy," I said.

"Uh," feigning outrage, Sandy popped, "I have NO horrible characteristics. At least that is what Nina thinks. Right, Nina?"

"She doesn't know you like I do," I picked.

"So what's for dinner?" Sandy said.

"See! That's one, right there. You're devious."

Nina said, "Where do you wanna eat, baby?"

"Pizza," Sandy said.

I was thinking, 'god, not another pizza', but then Nina fixed that.

"We'll order pizza when we get home, and then it'll get here while we put our stuff away."

Squeal! Sandy said, "See, Dad! She's smart."

"Why? Because she agrees with YOU?"

Blonde hair. Blue eyes. Big smile. And smart mouth. "Yeah! That would be one of the signs."

Nina didn't help by giggling. We had The Plan. I came to find out that in the presence of Sandy and Nina, The Plan was liable to pop up at random times, solutions for various questions in life.

The Plan was carried out. Pizza arrived, just as the first load of clothes went into the washer.

Sam the cat was on the dryer supervising when the doorbell rang. Apparently large yellow cats mimic the curiosity of ten year old girls because both of them followed me to the front door. Pizza went on the dining room table, informal, but somehow perfect. We sat around the table eating. I ignored Sandy sneaking tidbits to Sam. Little girls and cats. Neither needs a reason.

We stayed up late watching a couple of movies and catching showers and Sandy was asleep on the sofa until I carefully scooped her up and as Nina turned down the covers, deposited the little form in her bed. Sam formed a kitty loaf beside her and stood watch.

Nina gently pushed our door closed behind her as I turned down our covers. Apparently there was a Plan for Dan and Nina to gently make love, urging each other to orgasm before falling asleep.

I eased out the bed in the morning, taking care not to wake the pleasant form beside me. Fifteen minutes later two night-shirt clad girls were in my kitchen.

"Pancakes," I said.

Nina smiled. "I love pancakes. Yours are better than the ones at the restaurant, too."

Sandy agreed.

We ate stacks of pancakes, chased with cold milk, and the two of them cleared the table while I brewed coffee. Three mugs. Nina's and mine were lightly tinged with cream. Sandy's was lightly tinged with coffee.

"So what's the plan today?" I asked.

"You didn't take the kayaks off the car yet, did you, Dan?" Nina asked.

"Nope. Why?"

She said, "I'm tired of salt water. We could go to the river..."

Sandy was nodding enthusiastically.

Forty-five minutes after we were on the road. "Six!" I said. "We're on the road back at six. I have to go to work tomorrow."

We spent the day on the water (again). "Next year I want my own kayak, Dad. Don't'cha think I'm old enough?" Sandy said.

"Yeah, if you think you're old enough to keep up. Half the time you let ME do the paddling." Sandy and I had the tandem kayak and Nina had the single-holer.

"If we both paddle, we go faster than Nina. She has to work to keep up. I'm just thinking of Nina, Dad!"

"Your argument is invalid. Neither of us has to paddle as hard, that's all."

"Whatever. Can I have my own kayak?"

I looked. Nina was giggling.

"Oh, YOU'RE a lot of help," I said.

"Well, she wants a KAYAK, for pete's sake. Would you rather buy her that or what?"

"I hate it when you're logical..." I laughed.

Sandy's smile was rife with smugness.

"I guess if we're gonna do this again next weekend, we should have one. But THREE? Now we can't do a roof rack. I'll have to get a trailer."

We were back home before seven, dinner being a run through a fast food drive-thru.

Back home, I unloaded kayaks and stowed them under the rafters of the garage. When I got inside, Sandy was in the shower and Nina was moving laundry around.

She turned around and tiptoed to kiss me lightly. "Another good day, babe!"

"Yes, it was. Reminds me of a Heinlein quote: "What a wonderful world it is that has girls in!" And YOU come to bed with me at the end of it."

Giggle. "Only because I can badly abuse you!" she smiled. "Maybe not tonight though. If Sandy wants to sleep with us..."

"I suppose."

She grinned. "You know I'll make it up to you. 'Sides, it's period time again."

"I thought we were close," I said.

"Yeah ... But give me five minutes with your pants down." Evil grin.

I hardened at the thought.

"Sandy has sense about that, don't'ch think? She's let us have our time alone..."

"Yes, she has," I admitted. Nina and I agreed about the need for decorum, but Sandy seemed to understand about the need for us to have some alone time, too.

A little bump from the waterpipes told us that the shower was off. That meant Sandy was finished. Nina went into the bathroom and helped Sandy dry her hair, because in her own words, "I want my hair all pretty like yours."

A few minutes later Sandy was there beside me, smelling clean, and oh, yeah, a hint of Nina's perfume.

"Whatcha doin', Dad?"

"Folding laundry. Somebody's gotta do it."

"I know," she said. "Sometimes I fold mine at home. Uh ... at Mom's. Otherwise they just get washed and stuffed in the drawer."

That was an interesting revelation. Jennifer, when we were married, was never an immaculate housekeeper, but she did manage to fold clothes. Well, sometimes I did it, helping out where I could, when Sandy was little.

"Mom doesn't feel good sometimes. I know she'd do better if she felt good," she admitted.

I handed Sandy her stack of clothes. "Here! Go put this in your room!"

Smile. "Yes, Daddy!"

I started the last load of clothes in the dryer and went into the living room, easing back in my recliner. I heard the shower stop, and the air dryer start. I waited a few more minutes until Nina appeared, and then I took my turn bathing.

I came out to see the two of them leaned in against my cellphone, listening, faces somber.

Nina spoke softly. "Sandy's mom is in the hospital. Sandy's talking to Harry."

"Harry. Daddy's here." She passed me the phone.

"Harry! What's up?" I said. Now I wasn't talking to the slimy bastard who ran off with my wife, I was talking to a guy whose wife was in the hospital.

"Jennifer's in the hospital. Had to go to the emergency room a little while ago. They admitted her."

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Dan, she didn't want to tell you anything, and Sandy doesn't know much, but Jenn's got cancer. Pancreas or something. She's been on chemo. It ain't working."

"Oh, hang on..." I walked to the bedroom and shut the door. "How bad?"

"I ... we were hoping the chemo ... there's still a chance. They can adjust things, but she's out of her head right now. All her stuff is out of whack."

"Oh, shit! I'm sorry, Harry. Really."

"I know you are, Dan. But Sandy, she's okay?"

"Yeah, but ... what do we tell her?"

"Nothing yet. The doctor's in there with her right now, and maybe tomorrow she'll be able to think good enough to talk. And the specialists are coming in. Maybe we'll know something tomorrow or the next day. To tell Sandy. I guess, right now just tell her that her mom's sick."

"Okay, Harry. Look, if I need to bring Sandy..."

"Thanks, Dan. But right now, no. Her mom's pretty much out of it. We'll call you, okay?"

"Okay, Harry. Keep us posted."

"I will."

I closed my phone and went back into the living room. Sandy was in Nina's arms.

"She's getting sicker, huh, Dad. Really sick this time." Sandy's eyes were wet. Nina's were, too.

"She's pretty sick tonight, baby. They'll know more tomorrow or the next day. Things might very well get better."

"This happened before. She went to the hospital, Dad. She said not to talk to you about it. But she got better that time."

Nina was mute. She held Sandy and rocked back and forth, stroking her blonde hair, hold her cheek against Sandy's head.

"How about some hot chocolate, ' I said, desperately trying to lighten the situation up. "And then a game of cards."

Nina looked up, followed by Sandy. "Okay, sweetie," she said. "That'd be good."

We were in bed before ten, watching a nature show on the TV. I set the timer, and we went to sleep in an unwieldy knot.

The alarm went off in the morning. I got up to get dressed and Nina and Sandy got up and went in the kitchen. I heard the noise, then smelled bacon. And coffee. Sandy brought a mug of coffee to the table. "Two sugars, one cream, Nina says," she smiled.

I sipped at the steaming mug and a plate appeared before me. I ate, kissed the two of them, one a little bit more ardently than the other, and then left for work. I left Sandy and Nina to their own devices.

Mid-morning things got horribly worse. My cellphone, on 'buzz' so as to not disturb our staff meeting, shook angrily in my pocket. Since everyone I worried about at work was in the same meeting as I was, it had to be an outside call. I looked at the display. Jennifer.

I stood and said, "emergency" and left the meeting, answering the phone as I cleared the room.

Harry. Voice cracking. "Dan..." sob. "She's ... she's GONE!"

"What?!?!" I blurted. "Last night you said her chemo was off track. What happened?"

"I dunno. A nurse said that sometimes when things get all wonky, the body'll toss an embolism, whatever THAT is. She stroked out. Dan ... MY WIFE! She's gone!"

"Hang on for a second, Harry..." I stuck my head back through the door. All eyes turned to me. "Sorry, folks! Family emergency. I'm outta here! Harvey, I'll call you and let you know what's going on."

"DO what ya gotta do, Dan! Let us know if you need any help."

"Thanks," I said. Walking away, I said, "Harry? You still there?"

"Uh-huh ... Dan, Sandy ... you gonna tell 'er?"

I shrugged inwardly. "Yeah. Not a pleasant thing, but a dad's gotta..."

"I'm sorry," Harry said. "She was talking, asked if Sandy knew, then, like, blink!, and her eyes rolled back in her head, and that's the last thing. About an hour ago."

"I'm on the way to the house. I'll tell Sandy."

"I'll call Jenn's folks. I think she'd want to be there in the family plot."

"Yeah," I said. "I think so."

"I'll call you about arrangements for the funeral."

"God, I'm sorry, Harry..."

"Thanks, Dan." And the phone clicked. I punched Nina's number.

"Hey, babe," she said brightly.

"Are you with Sandy?" I asked.

"No! She's dragging a string around for the cat. Why? You sound funny."

"Not funny. Shocked. Don't go anywhere. I'm on the way home."

"Jennifer?" she whispered.

"Yes. About an hour ago."

"Omigod!"

"Don't say anything until I get there."

"Okay."

After weeks of dashing hope in happy expectation, I dreaded the sight of my front door.

I walked in. Sandy met me. "Something's wrong," she said. "Nina was all happy and excited, and she changed."

"Come here, baby," I said. I gathered her in my arms, Nina joining us.

"I have something very sad to tell you," I said, tears welling up in my own eyes, first because I was getting ready to tear my little girl's heart out, and second, honestly, there, deep down inside, there was still some feeling for Jennifer, divorced or not. I was holding the good part of that era of my life.

Sandy was no fool. "Mo-ommmmm..." She started crying.

"Baby, I'm sorry. But your mom is..."

"Momma's DEADDDDDD!!!!" Her teared welled up. I was crying. Nina was crying.

"I'm so sorry, baby," I said. "Mister Harry called me. Said the last thing she talked about was you, baby! I'm so sorry!"

Sandy cried, "I want my..." sob! "Mommyyyyyy!"

All I could do was hold on. Nina stroked Sandy's head. The three of us held onto each other for Sandy's sake.

Finally she stopped sobbing. "Daddy ... You love me?"

"Of course I do, baby. Why?"

"Where am I going to live?"

Nina fielded that one. "Here, of course. You're still your dad's daughter and you're my daughter, too, you know..."

Sandy's wet eyes, bluer than ever augmented by tears, looked at first me, then Nina. "We're a family, too, huh?"

"You're my little girl. Family is forever, baby. Me, you and Nina."

"I love you too, Nina. I hope me bein' here doesn't mess things up for you an' Dad."

"Of course not," Nina said. She sounded convinced.

Me, I was running a whole new set of factors through my head now. Sandy slid off my lap. I stood.

"I need to call my boss," I said. I dialed up Harvey's office.

"XYZCorp. Harvey Weldon. Can I help you?"

"Harv, this is Dan."

"Dan! You okay?"

"Not exactly. Jennifer passed away."

"Your ex?"

"Yeah. Sandy's here with us for the summer. Her mom's been battling cancer, and she never told me. When I saw here the other day, I just thought she looked worn out. She's been doing chemo and went to the hospital yesterday..."

"My god! I'm sorry, Dan..." He paused. "Look, do what you need to do. You know the three day funeral leave thing, but forget that. We'll take care of you. You take care of your little girl. At least you have Nina to help you..."

I'd told the bunch this morning before the staff meeting about how well things had worked out on my vacation, about how Nina and Sandy hit it off.

"Yeah, thank god for that," I said. "Thanks, Harv. I'll update you when I find out something. Funeral's probably gonna be here." They knew Jennifer from when I was a happily married man four or so years before. Maybe some of them would show up. Maybe not.

I returned to my sad little girl.

Logistics. Nina took her shopping for a suitable dress and shoes. I considered the idea of moving Sandy's belongings from her mom's house. I determined that if needed, a rental trailer would suffice.

We sort of stumbled through the next three days. Sandy, Nina and I stood at the funeral and got cried over by a myriad of Jenn's relatives. Honestly, they cried over Sandy. I got pats on the arm from people who'd been very happy when Jenn and I got married, and who'd been very happy when Sandy popped out, and were as bewildered as I was when Jenn left me.

Harry got perfunctory nods and hugs.

Sandy did a better job than I thought she would, maintaining composure until the casket went into the grave, then sobbing in Nina's arms as I held them both.

In the aftermath, I met Harry. I WAS sorry he lost a wife.

I promised him we'd be there on the weekend to collect Sandy's stuff.

The drive home was a somber as one might expect. I went to work on Thursday afternoon and Friday.

Home Friday. I asked Nina, "How's she doing?"

"Okay. She cried once today. I held her."

"What else can we do?"

"I know," she said. "Tomorrow's gonna be a bad day, I think."

"Probably. When she sees her mom's house, and no mom..."

Sandy came around the corner, lacking her normal exuberance. I hugged her.

"Hello, Dad," she said. "We goin' tomorrow?"

"Yes," I said. "we have to do this."

"I know. Is it okay if we bring my kitty home with us?"

"Mister Mittens? Of course. I'm sure he and Sam will work things out." Mentally I added the cat carrier to the load. I knew she had a cat, but I didn't know that she was bringing him home. I should've known better.

We went out to eat at a seafood joint. I could see that she was returning to normal, but she was still subdued.

The house routine was pretty solid, now, and went into play when we got back.

She was cuddled in my lap after Nina went to shower.

"Dad," she said, "I loved Mom 'n' all that, but I was gonna ask 'er if I could come live here anyway. Not 'cuz I didn't love 'er. Just that Mister Harry wasn't, I dunno, I think I made 'im uncomfortable ... an' since I met Nina, I know she's not my mom, but I think she's nice, an' she's smart, an' I think I wanted to come here. I was gonna talk to ya'll about it."

"Really?"

"Uh-huh. Me an' Nina talked about it. I told 'er not to tell you."

Nina hadn't said a word to me. "Nina's your friend, baby. She kept your secret."

"Dad?"

"Yes, little one?"

"That doesn't mean I didn't love Mom."

"I know, baby. Divorces make things awfully complex for kids. I'm sorry."

"I know it wasn't your fault, Dad. I love you."

Nina came walking out to the hall wearing her nightshirt. "You!" she said to me, "Shower! I'll make us hot chocolate!"