TOO MANY HORSES some sex, sci fi, magic humor

"Dude? You holding?" asked Jimmy.

"Oh, Man, nope. A good stone would go great right now," said Bill.

Chione spit out Jimmy's cock, "YEAH! I'd love to get high." She sucked Jimmy deeper.

"Unnng! I thought so, too," said Jimmy. "I got a little bud. Just a little....that's nice, Chi. Humm some more!"

Bill started stroking Chione deeper, "how much you got?"

"Maybe a quarter, but, it's not enough to share with this crowd," groused Jim.

Chione spit him out again, "get me stoned, big guy and I'll throat ya." She sucked him up again, a promise of good things to come.

"I got a pipe in my lodge," said Bill. He unplugged, Chione moaned. "I'll be right back, baby."

"No rush, Dude," said Jimmy. "It's in my pack, I'll have to get it."

So, Chione is spread out on a rock and the Cheese walks by, "Chi, you're gonna sunburn, I'll cover you up," he laughed as he filled her up.

Chione groaned, "Thanks, Cheese. I was feeling all empty like. Bill and Jim had to go do something."

"Hi Cheese." Bill said, "she got lonely?"

"Nope, she was getting too much sun and you know how she burns." The Cheese grinned, "I was just giving her some shade. Doing my good deed for the day."

"Stick around," Bill said. "Jimmy has a little smoke."

"Oh, really? I hope it's got seeds. Hi Jimmy, I hear you got a little pot. Hey, don't get all hostile. I just was wondering if it has seeds?"

"Yeah, it does." Jimmy asked, "why, you want 'em? I got a whole bag you can have. I was gonna make tea if I got in a bind, but you're welcome to the junk... It's just stems and seeds, ain't worth nothing."

A few minutes later, the Cheese handed Jo close to an ounce of seeds, "you got the green thumb. How about planting these for me?"

"YOU BET!! Can you get me some mammoth shit?"

"You got it, be right back." The Cheese got the carpet and lifted up to the plain on top of the cliffs. "Excuse me, Two Voices, I need some mammoth shit and I don't want to soil the carpet. Do you have something I can use to cover it? Thanks. Hmmm..visqueen. How about that."

"You're welcome, Cheese. How are things going down there?"

"People are getting settled in. There's been an awful lot of mix and match with them. This might be the first time they can have sex without repression or regret.

"I think we're going to winter in the lodges this year, maybe next, too. We need to build something more permanent on the ledges above camp but below the plain. I'm still getting a lot of heat from the Tofu radicals about meat and leather. I figure we can get the hot water from the spring down to the ledges and geothermal heat what we build."

"Don't worry about the Vegans, Cheese. Hunger will take care of that. As soon as you get done with collecting the shit," Oh the sarcasm in Two Voices voice, "can you get Vickie and Jo up here to discuss spring planting?"

"Plowing is going to be a drag without horses."

"Don't worry about the horses, Bill will find them tomorrow on his next expedition. The carpet is already programmed"

"Uh oh. That means you want the carpet."

"Oh Cheese, quit worrying about tomorrow, there's the rest of today to get through. Tomorrow will take care of its self. Just wait until all 55 women hit their menstrual cycle next week. You don't have a lick of trouble yet."

"Oh my Goddess! Disaster with a capital Dee."

"It could be worse."

"How's that?"

"55 women with No periods."

"Holy Shit!...speaking of which. I better get to gathering."

"Bye Cheese."

"Bye Two Voiced One. I'll get Vick and Jo real quick."

"Don't tell them about simultaneous periods. I have to have my fun."

"You're a wicked wicked man, woman. Whatever."

"Thanks. It's good to have your finer points recognized."

Down below everyone looked up as a two voiced diabolical laugh echoed over the valley.

"Whoa," said Bill. "That didn't sound good!"

Chione spat Jimmy's cock out again. "Shut up and fuck me, you rat bastard. Gimmie the big O. fuck fuck fuck. Where's that cock, Jim? Oh goddess, I'm so stoned! MMMMph!"

"Hi Two Voiced One," said Jo and Vickie. "What's up?"

"Spring planting. What seeds do you need?" questioned the Two Voiced One.

"I don't know," quibbled Jo.

Vickie said, "It all depends on water and the growing season." Vickie suggested, "we really need Gran. She's got the greenest thumb. Oh Hi Gran."

"Two Voices, You have got to quit doing that. You take years off my life every time you snatch me. You caught me babysitting. Hi Jo, Hi Vick. What trouble are you two in now?"

"I know you were babysitting. Gimmie that kid."

The baby floated in midair as the Universe's bestest Great Grand motherfather coochied and cooed. "Spring planting. You three set it up. I'm busy."

"That woman,man is going to ruin that child! The other night I woke up and the baby was gone. I could hear soft singing outside the lodge. I went out and the child is sitting on air being sung to. They have the best harmony. Well, I never! Spoiled rotten, she is."

"I was showing her the moon, you old goat." Two Voices spoke, "she's safe with me. I'm teaching her."

"Yes, but what? You silver voiced hag!"

"Never you mind," said the hag, "things the people will need."

Gran spluttered a bit, more for show than anger, then the three, Gran and Two voices, burst out laughing.

The Two Voiced One laughed, "You're not a bit afraid of me, are you Gran."

"Nope, I'm too old to worry about the likes of you. What can you do...kill me? I've had a life, I want to move on to the next adventure. Now, about the planting. What can we expect for rainfall and weather?"

"You know,Gran, I could make you 18 or younger. Make you do it all again, Gran."

"Wicked wicked wicked. Don't you dare! Quit that! We're talking serious stuff. The weather, please"

"For the next ten thousand years you can expect the night time temperature to be no lower than 33 degrees, the daytime temp will not be higher than 88. It will rain before dawn every growing season day.

"Spring wildflowers will begin to bloom with the third moon after Winter Solstice. Good planning will yeld crops from Eostara to Samhain. Remember, the more crops you grow, the less time you will have for play. A garden plot 100 yards by fifty yards will supply all the vegetables the people will need for more than a year and still be easy to care for if everyone helps. I recommend double dug plots no larger than 12 feet long and 4 feet wide. Weed removal is simplified with small plots.

"People who insist on special diets will be responsible for growing their own crops.

"The average hunter gather male spends a little less than 20 hours a week seeking prey. A female without child will be occupied 23 hours a week gathering and cooking. A farm family male may spend 80 to 100 hours a week growing crops and caring for his tools. "A man works from sun to sun, a woman's work is never done" Consider that to be a FACT before you decide to farm!

"While we're about it, I expect every male to be responsible for every female. Your males will protect them with their lives if need be. There are several women here who are experts in Tai Chi, learn from them. Pass it on to your daughters!

"The ponds below the forest are actually beaver ponds. It takes a few hundred years to sedimentize a pond so it is no longer used by beaver. The soil in an abandoned beaver pond is as good as you can get for grain crops The one closest to the new pond will grow rice abundantly. The third plain below that will do well in Soybeans. Those soilponds are well supplied with water. The former ponds below those will require ditch irrigation.

"You Will interbreed with those siberian hunters who are coming. In 10,000 years I expect your descendants, speaking one language, to occupy this continent from shore to shore. Every person is required to read and write. Every one of you were chosen because you possess a skill and you Will pass that skill down through your generations. This generation will live beyond expectations, that is part of my gift to you in payment for taking you unawares.

"Bill has no idea he will be bringing in a herd of horses tomorrow. Don't tell him, let him brag a little. Jo, I hope they meet your exacting criteria. There will be a very good selection of tack and farm impliments up here tomorrow. Ta..ta now. Here Gran, catch your charge."

The baby floated across to Gran who fielded her like a baseball. "Well, how about that, the little darling is learning! There's hope for you lab rats and she is just the beginning."

In the morning, Bill, Jimmy and Chione took the carpet to explore. The carpet returned with Chione, she was terrified of driving, so she just let the carpet go.

"Bill and Jimmy are staying with a huge herd of horses."she said. "I need Jo and anyone else who knows and likes horses to come with me to help get them back here. Many of them are really tame and seem to be used to riders. If you can ride bareback, load up, we need to get back before they break away. Today has been pure hell."

Eventually, Carol, Great Aunt Becky, Vickie, Kurt, Jo, the Twins and the Lez were transported to a box canyon where the horses were being held. Watchers kept fires burning at the mouth of the canyon to keep the animals confined. In the morning, every rider made a vine halter and reins, and haltered the horses who came and stood quietly. It was a slow horse drive but all of the animals eventually arrived at the camp.

"Well, Jo." asked Bill, "now what?"

"Water them and let them go," Jo explained, "horses like people. They like being around people, and they love being petted and made a fuss over. Just be gentle and slow in your movements and they'll stay. Most of these horses are used to being ridden and some have harness spots. This is a good bunch. They'll do us nicely. Probably better than we will do them. Bill, I'm proud as punch of you. You done good! Amazing day you have had. Good job to all of you."