The Strike

THE STORM

| My wife and I are night owls, She at the computer, me with my books. I was surprised when she shut off her magic box and office light and hopped into bed. "Wassup?" I queried. "BabyDoll went under the bookcase," she replied. BabyDoll is my cat. She HATES thunder. When she hides it's going to be bad. "Storm coming?" "Yup." "How did it look on radar?" "Just a dot, but purple." Purple isn't good, purple is right up there with OHHHHSHIT!! Those kind usually miss us. "OoooKaaay." It's been too damn hot and a breeze blowing through falling water would be welcome. We read a while and I shut off my light and settled in the arms of Morphus. The gods flashlight and, ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzAPFlaskerboom...instant burning wood smell, and the both of us are on the other end of the bed. "What the fuck?" I said...I'm the calm one of the pair. "Put your shorts on, big guy, and see if the house is on fire," she gasped, her eyes huge. I open up the door...it's POURING!!! The gods are dumping multiple 50 gallon barrels. "I don't want to go out in that." I get a hip in the back and the door shuts behind me. I am instantly soaked...it felt great! Until the second FLLLLAAAASSSSHHBOOOOMMMM behind the house lit up the whole world and shook the windows. Seconds later...sirens! Maybe that was the results of the first strike ...No. They kept going west. What ever rocked my world wasn't where the trucks were going. It was MUCH closer than that!! I know a Judge who got lightning struck and I thought it was funny until HizHonor got lit up twice more. All three times was on the Ninth Tee... on the follow through after a very nice drive. I guess some people shouldn't play golf. The first two strikes didn't do much...the last one scrambled the guy...he lived but...they wouldn't let him near a courtroom. Weddings he could handle...as long as he had a prompter. My yard doesn't drain well. I'm standing in ankle deep water during a violent thunderstorm...not the smartest of moves. I look up and watch cloud to cloud lightning dance all around me. I went back inside...at least she didn't lock me out. Ten minutes later you could only hear running water...the moon was even shining. The whole storm was less than 15 minutes from Oh Shit to Drip. What kind of podunk storm was that? I went back out and wandered the neighborhood but didn't see any smoke..so, with a shrug, to bed. The next morning was a different story. I got up to let the wild cat in the house He has a set pattern to the entrance to captivity. You turn on the bathroom light, flush, light off, open the front door, tap the storm door glass three times, open the storm, call, "NANG?" and a black streak levitates from under the van, floats to the roof of the car and Yowls. The next step is to walk to the sidewalk across the street and waggle your fingers...more levitating cat. He heels!! The two of you have to walk to the corner and start back before he'll let you pick him up. Picking him up before the walk may lead to dire consequences, four of his five ends are sharp. The office building across the street has a marvelous Maple...there's bark all over the street! I looked at the tree, a streak of very white wood shines back at me. I look up...and up...and up. I can follow the streak all the way to the tip of the tallest branch. It's about 100 feet to my bedroom from the tree...Yup, Close! There's bark and strips of wood everywhere. The wife goes to look. All the neighbors look. I can't wait for the execs at the office to see it. But that happens Monday and it's Saturday. I'm waiting for my ride to the gun show...I never buy but it's fun to see how much the guns I used to own have appreciated in value...and the price of ammo is amazing!! .22's used to be a penny each, 50 rounds for 50 cents. The cheapest I found at the show was 19.99 for 500 rounds, and it was Thunderbolt! There was some that cost 7.99 for 50! Heck! I used to pay 5.99 for 50 rounds of .357 magnum. I made one loop at the show when my hips and knees gave out. so, I went home. All during the ordeal of walking around the Gun show, I was thinking about the magical qualities of lightning struck wood..I considered getting some and carving a wand. When I walked in the door my wife said, "Go get me some wood from the tree." "Gonna make a wand?" "Yup" "You know if I gather it and give it to you the magic's no good." "Be that way! I'll get my own!" Music to my ears. And MY wand said, "Attaboy."