FISHING EXPEDITION some sex, sci fi, magic humor

Jo and Vickie are washing the dishes and listening to the radio. Jo looks out the kitchen window at the Cheese and Kurt. She is stunned! "You'll never catch anything in there," hollered Jo. She started laughing, "Oh my God. Vick. Look at those two fools."

Vick is rolling, "I don't believe it," she spluttered. "Hey! Kurt. You need to keep your feet out of the water!"

"Yeah," yelled Jo. "Your feet stink and the fish can smell them!" She said to the Vickster, "we need to go down and ask those two idiots what they think they're doing. Finish the dishes and we'll go."

The dishes are done expeditiously and they head down stairs and out the front door. As they leave the porch the radio crackles and plays again. They circle around the house and head for the fishermen.

"Hmmm?" ponders Jo. "Where did they go?"

"I don't know," said Vick. "They were just here. Weren't they?"

"Not that it really matters," said Jo. "They were never going to catch anything in a kids plastic wading pool."

"Ah...Jo. Look in the pool," quavered Vick.

Jo looked and screamed! There, in the bottom of the pink kids pool were two pairs of shorts, two tee shirts, two size 14 sandals, two size 9 sandals, a can of worms and two fishing poles.

"Oh Shit! They're streaking the neighborhood! Quick! Grab the cookie jar and get the bail money!"

They run up stairs, dress in some decent "bailout clothes", thin halter tops, cameltoe shorts, flipflops, and snatch the cookie jar, jump in the car and peel out to the jail.

"Nope, we don't have them," said the Sheriff. "What's with the cookie jar?"

Jo shakes the jar. "Bail money. Well, call us if you do get 'em," pleaded Jo. "You know how the Cheese gets in jail."

"Tell ya what," responded the Sheriff, "we'll just bring 'em home. The last time we had 'em we had to send them home, anyway." He pondered a bit, "I have never met two funnier guys in my life. We had to toss them out the door so we could stop laughing. Bye, Jo. Bye, Vickie. We appreciate you dressing up to visit. Come see us again."

"Thanks, Sheriff." Jo and Vickie turn around and bend over without bending a knee. The deputies can really tell they're not wearing underwear. Jo said, "Sheriff? Do we have a runner in our nylons?"

"Jo, Vick," choked the sheriff. "You're not wearing nylons!"

"Oh, forgot." Jo grinned, looking at the sheriff from between her legs, "we're going to cruise the neighborhood and see if we can find them."

They pile in the car and head out.

"I wonder if they're home yet?" questioned Vickie.

Let's look there first," said Jo. So they did.

The scene of the crime looked a little different. The clothes, poles and lawnchairs are gone and there's a 30 pound Pike swimming the water looking for more worms from the wormcan.

"Wow!" exclaimed Vick. "Look at that! That's a northern pike...that's a HUGE fish."

Jo looked in the pond again, now there's TWO fish. They are looking hungry. "Maybe the guys are up in the tree...Nope. The kitchen window is still locked, and there's no hole in the screen."

"Jo...I'm getting spooked," worried Vickie. She is bent over looking at a place in the grass. She says, "Jo. The grass is dying right here and it's a perfect circle."

"Vickie? Let's get in the house." said Jo, "we need to do a bit more looking upstairs."

Upstairs, Jo and Vick start looking in the closets and dressers.

"This isn't looking good, Vick." Jo said, "all the guns are missing and ammunition is gone and so are the Cheeses' backpacks. Call your house!"

"Who have I got?" asks Vicky. Vic has three sisters who can talk and one babbler. "Which twin? You two have to quit that, you're hard enough to tell apart by looking. Now you're sounding alike. Is Kurt or the Cheese there?"

"Have they been there?"

"How come you don't know?"

"You know what mom said about boys in the house. Send 'em home."

"Don't make me bring Jo home with me. You know she'll kick your asses and the boys, too."

"Be that way, then. We're on the way."

"Good bye!"

"Vick, don't be so hard on my phone." said Jo. On the way out to the car they stop at the plastic pond. No guys, just more fish and a happy pike. "The twins have company?"

"Yes! The Donaldson twins. You know they can't tell who is who, don't you?"

"Oh No, the Donaldson Twins, those guys are what...23...24? I thought they were gay. They never even dated in highschool!" said Jo. "Well, you know what the Donaldsons are like: They don't date, they marry. When they get married they'll either have to live in the same house or on opposite coasts!"

"Probably together, they're kinky like that." said Vickie. "I shouldn't care, but Carol gets upset enough with my antics, and Kurt is enough to drive ten mothers crazy. All she needs is horney twins."

"At least you're out of school."

"Nope, Graduate studies is next."

"Eighteen, a college graduate, and you're going for an MS?"

"Not exactly, I'm on track for a Doctorate. The Dean says I can get them both before I'm 21."

"Well, Miss Smartiepants, I see the Donaldson twins are still here. Let's go kick some ass."

The twins bedroom door is locked. Kurt isn't here. His camping gear is gone though. Jo and Vick ransack his room (the basement). His Santa Fe Hawken is gone. And his bows and arrows.

"This is looking weird." Vickie said. "His Geiger Counter is here. Lets go check that dead grass circle in your backyard by the plastic pond."

"Oh Vickie." said Jo. "Now you got me worried!"

It's a real pond now. It's a lot bigger, too. The kiddie pool is floating on the water.

"Jo," said Vickie. "it looks pretty deep. There's a HUGE pike."

"That's a Muskie. There goes a sturgeon!"

Something's not right.

"This whole state is glacial till," explained Jo, "the geology is a disaster. I read a paper...wait...I think it's here."

Jo runs up stairs. There's a lot of crashing and banging and footsteps down the stairs.

"Yup. Have a look."

"Postglacial Landscape Evolution of Lower Michigan." mumbles Vickie, reading, she's quick. "Well, Shit. This means the whole state was under ice or water periodically a long time after the majority of the last Ice cap receeded."

"About four or five thousand years," explained Jo. "Drop in the bucket geologically, but pretty significant in terms of human migratory expansion. This whole neighborhood was exploited much later than the rest of the continent. Close your mouth, Vickie."

"Jo, I had no idea..." stutters Vickie.

"What? That I'm smart? Why do you think we get along so well? When you get all scientific on us, Vickie, I'm pretty much the only one who knows what the fuck you're talking about. I'm amazed you hadn't noticed!"

"Wow."

"Yup, wow. Where's the Geiger counter?"

They use the counter on the dead grass spot. Now it's a dirt spot, the grass is gone, blown away by the soft breeze. The needle is off the scale. They walk around the pond and find five more highly radioactive round spots. If you play connect the dots, they make a nice circle.

"We have a situation here, Vickie. Do we look like idiots and report it, or keep it quiet and see what happens?"

The radio statics again...