MR. FIXIT some sex, sci fi, magic humor

Man, I need a shave. Pretty bad coming from a still wet behind the ears kid, huh? I need a haircut, too. It's getting REALLY long. Maybe I should shave it...chrome dome. Oil it up, or maybe, wax it, even. Yeah, wax it. Or maybe a Mohawk. I could spike it and dye it orange. Where did That come from? Get myself spiffed up for the girls. Ah, the girls. I've been noticing them lately. Who is that little blond beauty? She's got a really tight little body. Ricky's sister? No! She's a knobby kneed snot nosed kid! And the brunette who lives next door, when did she get so hot? When did I get a hottie for a neighbor? Well, hello big guy, where did you pop up from? That's something new. You're supposed to be something I pee from. MOM!!! Something is happening to me!! MOM!!! MOM!! What's going on? MOM?? You're not my mom. Oh! I'm all wet. Why am I all wet? How did I get wet? EUGH! Turn it off, turn it off, it's too bright. Oh, that hurts. I hurt. All over hurt. Oh...MOM, GET YOUR DIRTY FINGERS OUTTA MY BRAIN!!!

"Waddayatink, Doc. Is he gonna make it?"

"I don't know, that's the worst we've had yet. His mind is a mess. He really hates his mom."

"Do you blame him? The shit she did. Do you really blame him?"

"I can't believe she's really that selfish."

"You evaluated her."

"Yes. I just didn't think a mother could destroy a mind that badly."

"The professor says she needs him for this project, we need to fix him, she says she'll need to terminate the experiment if we can't."

"She seems to like the little guy. Why is he so important?"

"Call her, ask. See what you can find out."

"She says the whole project depends on the little guy...You gotta fix him, or terminate the rest."

"Hold it ... hold it, wait a minute, I think I found it. Yup, there it is. Just a little pressure ..."

Snap

"He's good to go!!"

"Let him out"

"Lookit the kid go!"

"You wanna make the call? Prof's gonna love you, Doc! You fixed it."

"Hey, thanks guys. You saved the project!!!"

"Just in time I see"

"Yup, two more feet and he'd have hit bottom. Good going guys. I owe ya!"

"Sorry, Jo. I didn't see that coming." Two Voices hugged Jo, "calm down. He's fixed. He's fixed, My guys found the break and popped it back in place. His mom really damaged him. They fixed it, the Doc says it was really deep but he got it." She explained. "I doubt he even knows he fell."

"That was scary. I was terrified. Hmmm? You're kinda weird looking. There really are two sides to you. You hug good though. Very calming. I feel better already."

"Oh. No! .. you can see me. Now, this is an unforeseen turn of events."

"You're not 'bad' looking, just 'different'. Not what I expected from a god/goddess...nope, not at all. The way you've been hiding, I was expecting hideous." Jo turned to the 10 or so in the hotpool, "what do you guys think?"

Kurt said, "Cat's outta the bag now. No more hiding from the mice. We'll get used to it."

"It's much nicer than a bullet." said Su-lin. "Definitely not what we thought we were going to see. Now we have someone to thank. Thank you!"

"You should have seen the looks on the prison staff when the bullets were bouncing all over. Ducking and dancing. The Commandant lost an ear.

"He did? Too bad it wasn't his balls, damn rapist."

"Oh, really? I'll be right back!"

"This should be interesting," commented Jo. "Two Voices is getting a taste for revenge."

"Whoa, that was actually fun! Do you know bodies bounce off water when they get dropped from two miles? Australian waters has great sharks! The Party is going to have a fun time explaining where the Committee has gone. Those guys have been oppressors too long!"

"There won't be any explaining, the Party doesn't explain." Su-Lin said, "the Party finds scapegoats from the lower members, blames them and bills the widows for the bullet."

"You weren't gone long," Jo said.

"Honey, time and I are really good friends."

Well what did you expect? I couldn't kill the hero. This isn't Post Modernist. This is bad fiction. This is Characters run amuck. The little bastards have lives of their own, ya know. The step off the cliff took me completely by surprise. My Brit Lit advisor told me "Write what you know." I know my mind has characters growing inside of me and I've been keeping them locked up since 1988. Set 'em free...set 'em free...set us free! I have no idea what's coming next. Something, I'm sure. I'm compelled to write.

This little ditty was brought to you by the makers of Lithium Carbonate, whose products I quit using in 1988. I'm finally getting creative again. You have no idea how badly I've missed me.

Bipolar disorder is a condition in which people experience abnormally elevated (manic or hypomanic) and, in many cases, abnormally depressed states for periods of time in a way that interferes with functioning. Not everyone's symptoms are the same, and there is no simple physiological test to confirm the disorder. Bipolar disorder can appear to be unipolar depression. Diagnosing bipolar disorder is often difficult, even for mental health professionals. What distinguishes bipolar disorder from unipolar depression is that the affected person experiences states of mania and depression. Often bipolar is inconsistent among patients because some people feel depressed more often than not and experience little mania whereas others experience predominantly manic symptoms. Additionally, the younger the age of onset—bipolar disorder starts in childhood or early adulthood in most patients—the more likely the first few episodes are to be depression. Because a bipolar diagnosis requires a manic or hypomanic episode, many patients are initially diagnosed and treated as having major depression.

The onset of full symptoms generally occurs in late adolescence or young adulthood. Diagnosis is based on the person's self-reported experiences, as well as observed behavior. Episodes of abnormality are associated with distress and disruption and an elevated risk of suicide, especially during depressive episodes. In some cases, it can be a devastating long-lasting disorder. In others, it has also been associated with creativity, goal striving, and positive achievements. There is significant evidence to suggest that many people with creative talents have also suffered from some form of bipolar disorder.

Yup...that fits!! Looks good on me, I think I'll wear it home. Thanks Wikipedia.