
Chapter 8

I was in trouble and didn't know it. The guys I talked to, they were like me, from various locales around the country, brought together for this job, so news of my happy circumstance with seventeen year old Tina was a matter of interest, and with my obvious happiness, a bit of good-natured ribbing, and I was rocking away happy in my ignorance. How ignorant? You'll see...

Tuesday I got Tina out of school to meet me at the doctor's office. You see, student pilots need physicals, too. We walked out of the doctor's office, me with a valid physical, Tina with a combination physical AND a brand new student pilot license. I called Brad's office.

"Hey, Brad," I said after I'd gotten past his office manager. "D'you get my check?"

"Sure did," he said. "Ya'll come by tomorrow afternoon and I'll have the paperwork for you to sign."

It didn't dawn on me that he wanted both of us there, but hey, a moment is a moment, so I made plans to meet Tina there immediately after school. That put me leaving work a little early, but I didn't see a problem. Tina and I had a perfectly wonderful Monday with not a care in the world.

The next morning I and several other people were looking in the excavated hole at cracked concrete. I shook my head. My electrical foreman shook HIS head. The project manager strung together some expletives in an innovative and extraordinary manner. There wasn't much engineering to the problem, though. It was pretty straight forward, and crews went right to work to fix it. The rest of the day? Routine. At three I took off and met Tina at Brad's office an hour away.

We're in the office, signing a bill of sale and a title transfer and Brad asks the question: "D'you want both of you to sign this?"

"No," I answered.

"Normally, a man and wife..." he started.

Tina gave the answer. "Mister Brad, we're not officially married. In a year we will be."

"Oh," he said. "I never asked. I just saw the rings and assumed..." His brow wrinkled. "Uh, Alan, Tina ... We have a problem."

"Problem?" I asked.

"Alan. Tina. I thought ya'll were married. Tina, you said you were seventeen. In Tennessee, the age of consent is eighteen. Alan, you know what that means."

Tina's eyes widened. But we thought it was seventeen, Mister Brad."

"It is," he said, "in every state around us, even sixteen in some of 'em. But it's eighteen here in Tennessee."

"Dammit!" I paused. "Sorry, Brad. I'm an engineer. I know I lot of things about a lot of stuff. I guess it's the wrong stuff. I can't believe that. I mean, seriously, Brad ... where'd you and Sandra first meet me and Tina?"

"At that chamber orchestra concert."

"Yeah. Common haunt for us child molesters, right? And what was she wearing?"

"That darned little black dress. Sandra commented to me about it."

"Uh-huh ... Brad..." I started.

"It's not a big deal, is it, for you two to get married? You need a parent or guardian's signature, is all." He sat back.

Tina's face was ashen. I hadn't seen that look since the first day I met her. "Mister Brad, you don't understand. Alan is my legal guardian."

That statement caused Brad's look to change.

"It's not like THAT, Brad. Can we tell you the story?"

He leaned back in his chair, bridging his fingers together. "Go ahead. I've heard lots of stories."

I said, "It all started at a little restaurant in the middle of Louisiana..."

He did ask questions. We answered. Tina's tears probably aided our case.

"Dammit, Alan," he said, "Sandra just thinks the world of Miss Tina. And you. Said ya'll were different, but in a happy way. And the rings. That threw us both off. We just assumed..."

"And I assumed that every state was seventeen or less..."

Tina asked the obvious next question. "B-but Mister Brad, you mean that they could put Alan in jail?"

Brad nodded his head. "Theoretically, if some prosecutor wanted to make a case ... It makes me scratch my head, just thinking about it, you know ... I think of all the crap that goes on today, pregnancies with no daddy, no job, no nothing ... and then this ... But it's the law."

Tina folded her arms and got that little crinkle above her nose, her "I've decided" look. "I don't want to do without Alan. He's more husband to me than you can begin to imagine."

"Oh, no, Miss Tina. I can imagine a lot. I've seen you two together. But if you're in Tennessee, you're taking a risk. A BIG risk. Unless you get married."

I took a deep breath. "Brad, let me sign these papers. And then Tina and I have some thinking and talking to do.

"God dammit, you two, please forgive me. I never wanted to mess ya'll up." Brad's expression looked sincere. "I mean, as far as I'm concerned, ya'll ARE married. But the state..."

I signed the papers. I, that is, me and my not quite wife, were owners of an airplane. I wish I could say we were happy when we left. We drove back in separate vehicles. I had a million lines of thought going at once. Somewhere on the hour drive I lost sight of Tina. I was about ten miles form the RV park when my phone rang. I retrieved it from my pocket thinking it was my little girl.

"Hello, Alan Addison! Sounds like YOU have a problem." the voice was that of Deputy Bill Hurley.

"Bill..." I started.

"Don't get started, Alan. I told you I didn't want you draggin' Miss Tina to Tennessee and turning her into a sex toy."

"It's ... I..." Words weren't coming.

"Tina just called me cryin' her eyes out, Alan. In her words, she thinks she's losin' her best friend in the whole world, and her husband. And she explained to me some things."

"Bill, I didn't start out to do this..."

"And I believe her. And I guess that means I have to believe you, too. So she called me because I helped ya'll the first time, getting' her set up in school."

"And now?" I asked. "What can you do? Really..."

"I can call my uncle, the judge, and talk with him and see. But you probably need to get out of Tennessee for a few days. Go to Mississippi. Heaven knows, they won't care..."

"Bill, if you can help..." I started.

"Oh, hell, Alan. Miss Tina asked me. Lemme see what happens. I'll call you back."

I pulled up next to our trailer a few moments ahead of Tina. She got out of her car, shaking, tears in her eyes. I pulled her inside the trailer.

"Alan," she sobbed. "I just CAN'T lose you..."

I wrapped her in my arms, cradling her against me. "I can't lose you either, dearest one."

"What're we gonna do?" she wept.

"If push comes to shove," I said, "I'll leave the state. I can find us a place where we can be together. Hell, this is the ONLY one like it that I know of."

"What about your job, Alan?" she asked through tears.

"I can get another job with a phone call." I was truthful. I could play that card once or twice, but part of my reputation was built on dependability. "I can't get another you. Never. You're an anomaly in my universe, sweetness."

"Oh, Alan..." I was being ripped apart, seeing those blue eyes with tears in them.

I called the project manager. He answered. "Carl, I hate to tell you this, but I've got an emergency situation to take care of. I'm gonna come in for an hour in the morning, and then it's liable to be a few days..."

"Oh, shit, Alan," he said. "Is there anything we can do to help?"

"No," I said. "Jeff's gonna be fixing that duct bank, and I'm in good shape on the rest of the project, so I won't put you in a bind. Not yet, anyway."

"Is it that bad?" Carl asked.

"Yeah. It might be. It's kind of personal, Carl. I'll explain when I get some things straight."

"You're a big boy, Alan. You haven't let me down yet. Do what you gotta do."

Tina looked at me. "I love you," I said.

Next phone call was to Charlie. "Charlie," I said, "I hate to bother you this late, but d'you think you could do me a flight review in the morning. Like about ninish?"

"Sure," he said. "You in a hurry?"

"Yessir," I answered. "I might have to go somewhere in the next day or two."

"Just bring your logbook in the morning, Alan. I'll have your plane gased up and waiting for you."

"Thanks, guy," I said.

I turned to Tina. "In case we need to go somewhere."

Her eyes were still wet. "You don't think somebody'll, like, turn us in? Do you?"

"Mizz Lil knows about us, and some of the guys at work. But I told Mister Carl that I was going to be married to you in a year. So I don't know who he might've told.

Neither of us had any appetite that evening. Or any joy. We sat together on the sofa, clinging to one another, my mind still running through one scenario after another.

And the phone rang. Deputy Hurley.

"Alan, I talked to my uncle," he said.

I was hoping. "And..." I asked

"I told him what was going on. He said it was an easy fix. When can you come down here and present yourself and Miss Tina? Can you do Thursday?"

Tina was leaning her head against mine, sharing the phone. "Yesyesyes, Mister Bill. We'll be there."

"Can we get a rental car at your airport? We're flyin' in tomorrow afternoon," I said.

"Uh, Alan, we don't have commercial flights..."

"I know, Bill. Me an' Tina just bought an airplane today. That's when all this crap came out."

"You just get you two here, and I'll make sure you have transportation. There's a motel in town..."

"Yessir, I got that much." I paused. "Bill..."

"Yeah?"

"Thanks!"

"Yes! Thank you, Mister Bill," Tina said, finally getting a little of the lilt back in her voice.

"We'll call you when we're getting close, okay?" I said.

"Ya'll do that," Bill said. "And if you're up to it, plan on dinner with me an' my bunch. If you can stand a couple of rug rats."

"That would be wonderful," Tina said.

"There's you an answer, buddy!" I added. "We'll talk to you later!"

"'Kay, Alan. Tina. See ya tomorrow!" He hung up.

I fell back against the sofa and Tina fell into my arms.

"Baby," she asked, "What do you think all this means?"

"It means, little one, that you probably need to make very very sure that you want to be married to me. Because if I'm working in Tennessee, that's the only way we can do it and stay together."

Squeal! And a kiss. A long, hot, hungry kiss. "You'd've left this job to stay with me, Alan? Really?"

"Oh, little princess, I'd've got me a bag and started collecting cans off the side of the road to stay with you. This job? You? Oh, come on ... no choice at all." And I meant it.

I looked at my watch. "D'you have an appetite now?"

she smiled. "I could eat something."

"Get your shoes on. Let's go." Fried catfish soothes the stomach quite well. Back at our little home, we packed bags for the next adventure.

We got up the next morning. "Don't bother to go to school today, sweetie," I said. "I'll be back here in an hour and a half.

"No, Alan. I'm going to go and get my assignments and tell 'em I might be out for a couple of days, okay?" Her eyes had life in them again.

"Okay, baby. You know best." I kissed her and headed out the door.

I was still knotted up from the day before, though, despite the idea that there was a way out. I wouldn't be happy until we crossed the state line. I guess I would've made a horrible criminal. Paranoia? I had buckets of it.

My dash through the job site was mainly to talk with Jeff about his repair job and to make sure that they didn't fall behind any further.

I knocked on Carl's door. He looked up. "Alan! Come in. Close the door!"

I did. "Carl, sorry to jerk you around, buddy..."

"Look," he said. "You an' me's been on too many of these things together to not trust each other. Do what you gotta do, okay?"

"Thanks, buddy. Just so you know, I've gotta fly back to Louisiana with Tina. I didn't know that us livin' together was illegal in this state."

"She's seventeen, ain't she? Old enough? I mean, it's your business. You're what, forty?"

"Close enough. But in this state, eighteen's the magic number."

"Oh, crap ... Can you fix things?" Carl asked.

"I'm thinking so. Back in Louisiana, though. We should be back Friday. I'm on my cellphone if you need something. Everybody's got my number."

Carl stood and offered his hand. I shook it. "Take care of yourself an' Miss Tina, 'kay?"

"You got it! Thanks, buddy!" And out the door I went. I picked up Tina at the RV park and told Mizz Lil that we'd be gone a couple of days.

And hour later we were at the airport.

Charlie looked through my logbook. "How many hours in this thing?" he asked.

"Eight hundred total, at least forty in a 182," I said. "Was in a club in Arizona."

"Oooooh," he said. "I saw you handle this the other day. That takes care of the flyin'. Now let's review some rules an' stuff."

Tina sat in the office as I was questioned about a variety of procedures and regulations. Charlie opened my logbook to the last page I'd used and signed me off.

"You're good to go," he smiled. "Since Miss Tina's sitting there, I assume you two are flyin' off?"

"Yeah. Louisiana. Should be back either late tomorrow or early Friday."

"Be careful," Charlie grinned.

"Come on, baby," I said to Tina. "Let's go teach you something."

I talked her through the pre-flight inspection and then saw that she was strapped in, big headphones on for the intercom. It was going to be her first flight. Ever. Her hands were folded nervously in her lap. I knew a sure-fire way to get rid of the nerves.

"No, Tina. We do this together. Put your hands on the yoke and your feet on the pedals and follow me through this."

"B-but, Alan! I've never..." she stammered.

"You've never been bashful with me, little one," I said. "This is easy."

We went through the run-up with me explaining every step. I checked the frequency on the radio and made a call to any aircraft that might be interested in what was going on at this little field, and we taxied onto the runway and I pushed the throttle forward. And we were in the air. As I banked us onto a course headed southwest, her grin was huge.

"You like?" I asked.

"I like." So our four hour flight was instructional. Tina was a quick study, and for somebody who found no problem with high school physics, the general principles of flying light aircraft were no trouble at all. Eighty-five hundred feet over the countryside, the miles slid away at a decent clip.

By early afternoon we were close. I opened my cellphone and called Hurley up.

"Where are you at?" he asked.

"Eighty-five hundred feet over a cotton field, about twenty minutes out."

"I'll be there waiting for you."

I had a picture of us returning to the little town in the back seat of a patrol car, but I wasn't about to complain. Deputy Bill Hurley showed up in a departmental SUV as we were tying down our plane.

"Man, you guys travel in style," He said, shaking my hand then getting a chaste hug from Tina. "Come on! Let me get ya'll to the motel."

"That would be great!" I said. I let Tina take the front seat for the short ride.

In the car, we started talking. "So Tina tells me that she's in advanced placement classes in her senior year, now."

"Yeah, you should've seen the expression on the guy's face when he showed us her placement test results. I was worried. I worried about what I could do to help a high-school drop-out." I admitted.

Tina picked up the thread. "I told Alan that the reason I dropped out was that mom kept moving us every time I'd start school. The first thing we did was talk to the school board about me getting back in."

Bill admitted, "Yeah, ya'll kinda surprised me with that phone call. But it worked out well, didn't it?"

"Yes," I said. "We got her in school and I figured I was going to be the foster dad or whatever to a teenaged girl in high school. I mean, her first week, she'd already been asked to..."

"That's what I was tellin' you, Mister Bill. Alan was perfectly serious about taking care of me. He got me back in school. Bought me a car..."

"A car?" Bill queried.

"Yeah, the preferred automobile of child molesters everywhere, a Honda Civic." I said. "Actually, it just made sense. She could run errands after school and go out and do whatever, and I wouldn't have to worry about transporting her or her depending on people I didn't know."

"Okay," he said. "When you put it like that, it makes sense."

"So anyway," Tina continued, "my first week back at school and I'm getting into the classes and since it's all AP, you know that the kids are some of the serious students, so it's pretty good. And at the end of the week, one of the girls asks me if I want to come over on Friday night to watch movies, and there's gonna be a few other kids, and this guy in one of my classes and he's smart and he's asking her if I'm coming over, and I asked Alan if I could go."

"And what could I say, Bill? I told her to be careful and to be back by midnight and let 'er go."

We pulled into the motel. Bill said, "Look, can I pick ya'll up about five and bring you to the house for dinner?"

"We don't want to put you out, Bill. I could just as easily take you and your wife out for dinner. Uh ... and the kids..."

Bill smiled. "I appreciate that, but with the kids, it'd be a trial. Best you come over to the house. We used to have a good restaurant in town, but it's been closed for a year. That little diner where ya'll met, it's about the only other place. Or McDonald's."

"We're your guests," Tina asserted.

"Uh, one more thing. I hope you don't mind. Uncle, the judge, he might stop by after dinner. Wants to talk to you both."

I guess my face gave away my thoughts.

"Oh, no, nothing bad. He got part of the story from me. He knows what he needs to do. It's just he wants to meet ya'll."

"Okay," Tina said. "We'll be happy to meet him. I mean, you guys have already helped us out so much."

We checked in and hauled our bags into our room. Tina made a show of falling backward onto the king-sized bed.

"Just come lay by me, Alan. I need you near me." she turned her face toward me, those azure eyes boring into my heart.

I lay beside her on my side so I could touch her face. She was smiling.

"It's gonna be okay, babe," she said. "We're going to STAY together. That makes it okay."

I bent over and kissed her. "just 'okay'?"

"Well, then, how about 'a little piece of perfect'?"

"That would be you, cutie!" The next kiss was better. Longer, hungrier, hotter, and so comforting to be delivered by this doll. Her hair was doing that thing where it was either mahogany or walnut, depending on the light. In this room ... mahogany. I buried my face into it at her neck.

I felt her stir, then heard twin thumps as her shoes hit the floor. She scooted away from me, higher in the bed and motioned for me to come up with her. I sat up, untied my shoes and took them off and lay down, finding myself in her arms. Fully clothed, we kissed a few times and then snuggled together for a nap to make up for a couple of horribly sleepless nights.

At four-thirty we were up, showered and ready for dinner. Ten minutes out, Hurley called us on the phone and warned us, so we were waiting in the motel lobby when he pulled up. There was a little tow-headed boy in the front seat with him.

"Hi," Bill said. "This is my son, William junior. He's Billy. Billy, this is Miss Tina an' Mister Alan."

Billy offered his hand politely. We both shook it. "I'm gonna get in the back seat. You gonna ride back here with me, Miss Tina?"

"I certainly will, Billy," she said. Tina and Billy buckled into the back seat and I slid into the front with Bill.

"Hope you can stand fried pork chops," Bill said. "Sharon's teaching school, and pork chops are fast."

"Pork chops sound wonderful." Tina turned to Billy. "What's your favorite, Billy?"

Little Billy didn't mis his cue. "Today? Pork chops! An' Mom has mashed p'tatas an' gravy! And a pie!" he smiled broadly. "I like it when she cooks for company!"

Bill followed, "Folks, we don't starve our kids. The only difference between company and a regular meal is the pie!"

Billy said, "I LIKE pie!" Tina giggled.

We pulled up at the Hurley place. It was one of those homes from a bygone era, huge, wood-frame, two story, and obviously the subject of a huge amount of restoration. I commented on the age.

"My great-grandparents' house. It got it passed down to me along with a pretty good inheritance and we put a lot of it back into this house." He sounded happy and proud.

When we walked in, I saw why. The restoration was meticulous and well thought out, combining modern efficiencies with the character of the old home. And we met Sharon, Bill's wife, a diminutive lady with a few extra pounds and blonde hair and blue eyes and that explained where Billy got that golden shock of his. And Billy's little sister, a year younger, and a couple inches shorter, and obviously Billy's sister.

Billy handled that introduction. "Miss Tina, Mister Alan, this is my sister. Her name is Bridget."

Tina squatted to Bridget's level. "Hi, Miss Bridget! What a pretty name! You're a cutie!"

Bridget smiled bashfully and said softly, "Thank you Miss Tina! You're cute too!"

Tina stood up. Mizz Sharon, can I help you in the kitchen or something?"

Sharon smiled. "That would be lovely, Tina." She turned to us. "We'll be ready in about ten minutes." The two of them disappeared.

Bill gave me a quick tour of his castle, including a running commentary on the history of the house and his family.

We returned to find the table set and ready for us. Bill sat at the head of the table, his wife on his right, I at the opposite end with Tina on my right, and the two kids on opposites sides of the table. Bill offered a brief blessing for the food and friendship and we dug into a quite decent and happy meal. I was pleasantly surprised that the two kids were well mannered. And I enjoyed watching Billy's eyes when he got his piece of chocolate pie.

Sharon and Tina and the kids cleared the table following the meal and Bill and I were talking when the doorbell rang. "That's gonna be Uncle Jimmy," he said.

Uncle Jimmy was tall, bald, dressed in slacks and a business shirt with a tie. "I'm Bill's Uncle Jimmy," he announced, extending his hand.

I shook it. "I'm Alan Addison. You've already rescued us once!"

"Yes, son, and if I'd have been a little bit more on the ball..." he started.

"Uncle Jimmy, ya'll come sit in here so we can talk!" Bill guided us into the living room.

We sat down. Uncle Jimmy continued. "Like I was sayin', we could've done an emancipation on 'er if I'd given it more thought, but when Bill here gave me the story, I thought that giving you guardianship was a better approach, especially with you wanting to put her back in school."

Tina and Sharon walked in. Sharon introduced Tina to Uncle Jimmy. He smiled. "Alan, she's a charming young lady. Miss Tina, I've heard good things about you."

It was Tina's turn to smile bashfully.

Tina sat next to me on the sofa and Sharon joined Bill on the love seat.

Uncle Jimmy repeated what he'd just said for the ladies' benefit.

"Mister Jimmy..." Tina started.

"Uncle Jimmy. Please!" he smiled.

"Uncle Jimmy, when we called about that school problem, that's all we thought we needed. Really." she sighed. "Alan was just takin' care of me and giving me a place to live and helping me."

I interrupted. "Like a little sister. Or a daughter. Or ... I don't know. When I found 'er, she didn't have too many options. I just wanted to help out."

Uncle Jimmy nodded. Bill had heard the story up to this point. Tina went through it from the beginning to the point of her first week of school, and the party. Sharon was following every word.

"See, Bill, THAT'S I was telling you last week. One of my straight A students, bright, smart, with a future ... She's turned up pregnant. The daddy's a senior and has a scholarship to play football in college. It's like all the stereotypes in the world piled on top of them." Sharon looked at Tina.

Tina read the question in Sharon's look. "No, ma'am. I'm not pregnant. I want to marry Alan because we're just RIGHT for each other. Look! This is how I'm being exploited here!"

I looked and almost fell off the sofa. The piece of paper in Tina's hand, that she was shoving towards Sharon, was her brand new student pilot license.

Uncle Jimmy laughed, relieving a tension.

Sharon stammered, "Oh, Tina, I DIDN'T mean that you HAD to get married. That YOU were pregnant. I was just sayin' that kids can get off the track so easy." She inhaled. "And you two walked in here with wedding bands an' I looked at you and you act like you belong together."

Billy wandered into the room. "Hi, Uncle Jimmy!" he said. He hugged his great-uncle. "When we goin' to your camp?"

Uncle Jimmy mussed Billy's hair. "Just as soon as your daddy decides he wants to do you some fall catfishin'," he said.

Naturally, little Bridget was next. She perched briefly on Uncle Jimmy's knee and kissed his cheek then came over and squeezed next to Tina. Tina put her arm around Bridget. Big sister – little sister. Should've taken a picture.

"I love seein' your kids, Bill. Sharon sure shows in 'em, too." He smiled at Sharon. "You kep' 'em from getting those squinty Hurley eyes, Sharon!"

We all talked for a while longer. Finally Uncle Jimmy said, "Look, Alan, Miss Tina, here's what we're going to do. You two want to be married. So tomorrow I'm gonna do some magical judge things, sorta like that magical electric stuff you do, Alan. And we're going to emancipate Miss Tina from the horrible bonds of having you as her guardian. Under state law, if she's emancipated, she's free to act as her own agent, as an adult." He grinned. "If, upon execution of her emancipation, she doesn't high-tail it out of the parish, you two can do us a marriage license, and if you have no religious reservations, I will personally perform the wedding in my office. Then the State of Tennessee can go pound sand. Where ever it is they might need to have sand pounded."

Squeal! That was Tina's commentary on Uncle Jimmy's speech.

He laughed. "I wish I could say that this puts me on the plus side of the marriage game, but I sign more divorces than I get to marry folks. There's something wrong there. Seems to me that if two people wanna get married in front of a church full of people, then they should do the same damn thing for the divorce."

Bill laughed. "Alan, you have to understand. I've heard this speech before."

Sharon smiled. "And we're still married."

Uncle Jimmy wasn't finished. "How long did it take ya'll to fly down here? Four hours?"

"Yessir," Tina chirped.

"Seems to me," he said, "That ya'll oughtta fly back one weekend and meet us at my camp. It's on the river. We'll barbecue, an' catch some catfish and have a fish fry, and feel guilty for the next two weeks about eatin' like that."

I was thinking that this old guy was a hoot, and good company is good company. Tina spoke for us. "We'll make that happen. We need to kinda know when."

We rode back to the motel with Uncle Jimmy, talking, listening to him assail us with stories of courtroom shenanigans.

The next morning Hurley picked us up for breakfast. "Sorry, Alan, but I had to give the shift sergeant back his SUV. You'll have to ride in the back of this thing."

We went to breakfast in his squad car. I was in the back, behind the screen, and Tina was giggling. "Mister Bill, you shoulda put 'im in handcuffs!"

"Evil little woman you got there, Alan," he said, laughing.

We walked into the restaurant where the whole thing started a couple of months before. Bill jogged the waitress's memory.

"Oh, YEAH!" she said. To Tina, "Hon, are ya doin' okay?"

Tina's answer was to show her ring finger.

After breakfast, we were first ones into the judge's office. Uncle Jimmy was waiting.

"Hi, folks!" he said, "Mizz Mary's got the paperwork ready. Come on into the office."

We went in and sat in some really nice leather chairs and signed papers which his secretary duly stamped.

"There!" he announced. "Miss Tina, you are, in the eyes of the state, an adult. Able to make your own decisions. So, here's this piece of paper..." He pushed an application for a marriage license across his desk and raised an eyebrow.

Her squeal could be heard to the street.

We both filled it out.

I noticed Bill eye-balling his watch, nervously.

"Something wrong?" I asked.

"No, just that Sharon wanted to be here for your wedding." As he was finishing the statement, we heard the front door open.

"They're in the judge's office," the receptionist announced. Sharon's face peered around the corner.

"As I was sayin'," Bill continued, "If me an' Sharon are at THIS wedding, then that's one LESS wedding I'll have to go to this year..."

"Pffftt!" as Sharon stuck her tongue out at her husband. Then she took his hand in hers and kissed his cheek.

Uncle Jimmy hollered to his staff. "Ya'll all come in here! We're doin' a wedding. No shotguns involved!"

The office filled up. Tina and I slipped our rings off and traded, and amid smiles from some people we hardly knew, we were married. A camera flashed. I kissed my bride.