
Dublin Delights
Chapter 6


	The silence of my sleep broke as I heard laughing and yelling.  I opened my eyes to slits, letting a little light to filter through.  I saw my room.  It looked very plain in the noon light.  As soon as my eyes were used to the light, I opened them more, until they were wide open.  I sung my leg over the side and stretched up.  I stood up and reached as highest possible, joining my hands to extend to my full length.  Yawning, I walked into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror.  My hair was scrambled and I had massive red blotches on my face from sleeping.  I rubbed at it violently.  It sometimes helps.  I fixed my hair and straightened up.  As I reached for the door handle, the door opened and came at me like a speeding missel.  The aim was true and it hit me squarely in my head.  I fell back with a thud and hit my head a second time on the wall.  I slumped to the floor, unconscious.

	My eyes fluttered open and I looked up to see Mark kneeling over me.  My eyes shot as wide as possible and I sat up like a lightning bolt, only to fall back down.  My head was swimming in colors.  The world went around and around.  I closed and opened my eyes and the world was right again.  Learning from my last experience, I got up slowly.  When I stood, I had a little trouble with balance, but that soon fled away as shook my head.  

	"Are you ok," Mark asked.

	"Yea, can you get some aspirin out of the from pouch of my bag."

	"Yea sure."

	Mark ran over to my bag and dug his hand into the front pouch, he searched for a bottle until, success, he gave me the bottle and ran to the bathroom to get a glass of water.  I swallowed the pills and drank the glass.  Immediately I felt a bit better.

	"Better?" he asked

	"Yea, what's going on?"

	"Were boarding the bus to get ready for the show tonight, come on."
	
	That is the most excited I have found him this entire trip.  It kinda suprised me.  Then it hit me with a ton of bricks.  Aaron probably told everyone about my confession.  They are all acting nice till they can get me into a corner and then '(gasp)' my dream would come true.

	"Did Aaron talk to you at all?"

	"No, why?"

	"Just wondering, he an I had an argument and well." 'He didn't know'

	"No, he didn't talk to me about anything, should he have?"

	"I was just wondering?"

	"Oh, come on, they must be getting ready to go."

	True, I heard the bus out side and people talking, they must be getting ready to go.  I walked out of the room, bringing nothing but a light coat.  Mark quickly followed, I ran up to the bus a boarded.
	
	In any highschool venture the hardest art is finding a seat that would make you look cool, yet be comfortable.  You may not understand but it is hard to find a seat that wouldn't make you look like a dork in the face of your friends.  Yes that is shallow, but here is an example.  If I were sit next to Derek, I would look like he is friendly, when he really isn't.  He is a dork, which would make me look like a dork.  But if I sit next to, say, Tim.  I would look cool.  It's confusing but if you ever experienced it you would know what I mean.

	I found a seat in the back all by myself.  Directly behind me is Tim with April on his lap.  I guess, even though she has a boyfriend, she still needs somebody to flirt with.  I cracked a smile at him as soon as I saw this, he looked down at her and smiled back at me knowingly.  I sat down and looked ahead.  I swear I saw Aaron looking at me.  As soon as I saw him, he looked away and sat down on his seat.

	The trip was short to the theater.  Once there, All the actors took their costumes and props to the dressing rooms, or what you could call a dressing room.  It could barely fit fifteen people.  It was going to be packed.  Nicole, Emily, and I opened the (dumpster) technical booth. We powered up the systems and tested out them out.  The lights needed refocusing and the sound systems needed some adjusting.  Nothing we couldn't handle.  Mr. Shamus, helped to pull out an 
"A" frame ladder.  With that I climbed to the top of the theater, it wasn't that high, and adjusted the lights to fit our needs.  Stage down right, stage down left, stage up center, and an overall wash.  

	The actors practiced on the theater.  The space was considerably smaller than the highschool theater.  As I focused I saw Aaron give a great performance for nobody.  Specifically I watched him intently as he gave a commanding performance of the emotional scene where he bends down and cries over his dead wife.  I will call it the emotional scene.  He slowly walked over to the grave of his dead wife and fell at its base and started to cry.  I could tell he put his heart and soul into it.  (If you are interested, read "Our Town" by Thorton Weilder, act three.)

	A few hours passed and I finished focusing the last light.  I climbed down the ladder and helped to put it away.  I then had Emily test out the lights on the lighting board.  As she cycled through the lights, my face slowly grew into a grin.  Once she was finished I turned to her and smiled.  She jumped over the dumpster and ran to me.

	"WE DID IT!!"

	"Yes." I yelled in a congratulatory way

	We gave each other a hug, realizing that the technical aspects to our first Irish show were set and working.

	"Did you learn the show?" I asked.

	"That is my next job."

	"Our next job."

	We laughed.  We were always friendly around each other.  Nicole joined us and each of us gave pats on the back or congratulations.  For the next hour or so.  Emily and I learned the light settings for the show.  It was challenging granting the fact that we have never seen this configuration before, and we had no practice before today.

	Promptly at seven o'clock the house opened.  The small theater packed in over a hundred Irish folk.  Emily put up the pre-show, just a few light to accent the stage.  I smiled to myself at that moment, my job was done, it is up to her now.

	Out of nowhere, most of the lights on stage left went out.  My smile turned into a face that said 'oh, shit' in about two seconds flat.  I turned to Emily who was reflecting my face.  Without vocal commands I told her what to do.  I jumped over the dumpster like it was a hurdle and ran down the side isle.  I ran into Mr. Shamus and asked him what happened.

	"I don't know.  Come on, we'll go check."

	I followed him quickly into the girls dressing room.  They weren't very pleased when I walked in there, but they had no choice.  They had to deal with it.  I looked around the room searching for obvious signs of a problem.  All I saw were the dimmers, the patch box, (a big huge box with over a hundred plug ends in it) and a spider web of cords connecting the two.  

	"Do you have a fuse box?" I asked.

	"A what?"

	"A fuse box."

	"Do you mean a trip box."

	'That has to be it.' "Yes where is your fuse, I mean trip box."

	"Through that door into the boys dressing room."

	Without thinking I ran into the dressing room.  I saw the box on the far wall.  Standing near it was Aaron.  Totally nude form the waist up and he was only wearing a pair of boxer shorts.  I almost sprung a boner right there. 'You know, just great.  He is here'  I decided to play it cool and control myself, this was after all an emergence.  I ran to the box saying the occasional 'excuse me' and 'get the hell out of my way.'
Once there I opened it.  Searching through the number of trips (fuses) I looked for on that was different.  I didn't know what the difference would be.  Searching, I heard a voice.

	"Sean."

	'Oh God, it was him,' "Yea what do you want?"

	"I wanted to talk to you about this morning."

	I found it.  A trip (fuse) with a red marking.  I turned it out then on.  "Listen Aaron, I think I know what your response is, you said it loud and clear by running away."  I briskly walked away, not looking back.  After all, I was very busy.  I realized that it was not the right choice.  

	I walked out into the house and saw that the light were working.  I ran up to Emily and told her not to use a useless one, because it might trip a fuse.  We agreed and sat back as the house went dark.  'Just in time' I told myself.  

	Because I saw the play about thirty thousand times I followed it little, more focusing on if I made the right decision to speak to Aaron like I did in the dressing room.  He could have just been overwhelmed or scared.  No, by the looks of things now, he has some sort of girlfriend at home and is madly in love with her, with the obvious limitations that any teenage couple has.  Depression sank in.  'What if he told everyone, my life would be over.  And then there is that damn dream.'

	The play nearly finished, intermission had come and passed without any realization from me.  I snapped back to reality as the emotional scene came up.  Like all other times my female technical counterparts started to cry.  And being the emotional person I too, shed a tear.  (You have to read the entire play to fully understand the point.)  The house light went up and we received a standing ovation.

	After the house emptied, we cleaned up the small mess we made, then took a couple group shots with everybody, including the technicians.  After we left, we rounded up the team and boarded the bus.  Hopefully headed for home because I was so tired, we instead pulled up to a small bar.  Filling up all of the tables plus, we ordered drinks and little sandwiches.  We had a blast, even though I was tired.  We talked about almost everything.  Aaron was in another part of the bar.  But I didn't care.  'Wait, that can't be right, I do care, but, I don't know anymore.'  I slouched in my seat and couldn't wait for a soft bed.

	That bed came just at the right time.  As soon as we pulled up to the hostel I ran to my room, quickly disrobed and put on my pajamas, (after all I was in the presence of others.)  I jumped into bed and fell asleep before any others were even in the room.  As I closed my eyes, I cried silently.  I don't know what to think what to do.  

	The morning hit like a ton of bricks.  My eyes shot open before the sun crested the land.  I tried to fall back asleep knowing that we had a few more hours left to sleep.  I couldn't do it.  My mind was swimming.  I think I had that dream again, but I couldn't remember having it.  It was as if as soon as I opened my eyes I left that world behind.  Thankful, I got up.  As quietly as a mouse I picked out some clothes and dressed.  Walking into the bathroom, I closed the door before I turned on the light.  I took every precautionary measures to keep my roommates asleep.  When I finished I left the room and walked down the hall to the door.  I walked out into the brisk Irish morning

	I looked to the left of the main complex.  I saw a small garden which I had not noticed before.  It had a small path that lead right into it.  'This could be a quiet place to think.  Of course I have been doing enough of that.  I decided instead to beat myself up, not physically. My steps sounded sharp in the cold morning.  I walked up the steps into the garden and turned on an adjoining path.  There I saw a bench and sat myself down.  

	'What have I done.' tears began to well up. 'God, is this all I think about now, I have to really pull myself together and latch onto the remnants of my life.  If only I could rewind time and start again.  Wait, that wouldn't work.  I would be faced with the same dilemma I had then too.  I would still have that burden on my shoulders.  There is no right answer is there.'

	Just then I heard foot steps.  I sat perfectly still, not wanting to let on that anybody else was up.  I heard the steps approach the garden and go up the stairs.  I stared towards the path.  A lone figure stood in a silhouette in the middle of the path.  I couldn't see them.  

	"Hello," I said daringly.

	"Sean, is that you."

	I know that voice.  It is the angelic voice of Aaron.  Quietly I responded, "Yea."

	"Oh," 

	He began to walk towards me.  This is a move I did not expect and have not planned for, yet I longed for.  Just to get this shit out into the open with him.  He sat down on the bench next to me.  It was stil rather dark so I could not see his face.  I could, however, see that he was looking straight ahead and not at me.  I looked ahead as well.

	"Sean," he began, "I . . . , shit man, I know what your thinking, and I just want you to know that I am still your friend and wouldn't tell anybody your secret.  I am glad that you had the courage to tell me.  I know that I didn't."

	"Thanks Aaron.  That means a lot."

	"OK," there was a long pause, "Sean, I . . . I am so sorry," I could here a sniffle.

	"For what, you didn't do this, I did, this thing was my fault and I should have not brought you into it.  I'm sorry," I could feel the tears start to gush out.
	"No, no.  please I have to say this.  Sean, its my fault.  I mean, it hurts me so much to see you in pain, and you said something to me that made me happy, I was just so scared of what would happen."

	"I don't get it.  What are you trying to say,", 'I already knew, but was asking for posterity. 

	"God dammit, this is so hard.  Listen, I felt the same way when you told me you loved me.  I wanted to tell you but I didn't have the courage.  I was scared to take that risk."

	"You mean you feel the same way I do?"

	"I want to, I really want to, love is such a powerful word.  But I don't know if I am ready for all of this.  This is new.  I don't know how to put this, except to give me time."

	"Ok." I understood where he came from, this was a little awkward.  "We will, take this one step at a time.  To tell you the truth, I am not exactly ready for what is next either. 

	I couldn't see his features, but I visualized them from memory.  Knowing this I gently wiped the tears form his cheeks.  My hand slowed and eventually stopped, resting near his jaw line.  We didn't talk just stared.  I could here the trees rustle and the birds sing.  I smiled.  My hand reached around the his back and I pulled him into a hug.  He swung his arms around me and I put my remaining arm around him.  We rested our heads on each other's shoulders.  I closed my eyes, comforted by his embrace.  I could feel him breath.  A sense of happiness washed over me.  Tear still came forth and i know that he cried too.  

	"We had better get back," I whispered into his ear.

	"I plan on staying like this for the rest of eternity."

	I smiled at his little joke. "Come on."  I let go of him and stood up.  He soon followed.  We walked down the path together, exploring this large garden.

	"How are we going to do this?" he asked.

	"I don't know." a long silence.  "I assume that you want to keep this quiet."

	"Yea, yes, oh yes, diffidently."

	"I'll take that as a yes."  He smiled, I could see it.
	
	The sky turned from a grey to a turquoise.  The birds began to sing great songs, and the wind died down so only a faint rustling was heard.

	"Now that we know, what comes next."

	"I guess, what ever seems right."

	"I don't know what is right."

	"I don't know either.  But lets get on thing straight, no more keeping things bottled up."

	"What do you mean?"

	"I want you to talk to me and me to you.  We took a step today.  A step together, and I don't want anything to hold us back when we decide to take the next one, together"

	He smiled.  "I promise."

	Quietly I said, "I do too."  I reached over and pulled him into another hug.  
	We pulled back and just stared into each others eyes.  Eyes that now exposed every thing about the other.  As if we were now joined emotionally.  I stroked his cheek, caressing the tear trails away.  Finally I was with him.  The person I wanted for so long and didn't know it until two days ago.  We had each other.  Some urge hit him then and he came up and kissed me square on the mouth.  As soon as our lips touched he pulled away.

	"I'm sorry," he apologized.

	I was surprised, but that passed. "Don't be," I said calmly. I smiled and leaned in towards him.  One hand embraced him at the back and the other caressed the back of his head.  I leaned in and kissed him.  Not a kiss of full passion.  Neither of us were ready for that, but a simple kiss that meant so much.  He kissed me back gently and with care.  I broke off and hugged him.
 


