HARRY'S APARTMENTS MF, MFF, MMF, MMFF, FF, mf implied, incest implied

I have a JOB!!! Yea!! Now my bride and I can move from Mom's basement. Mom will be happy. The bride I have is NOT the bride she expected. Mom expected Nancy. Nan was pretty. Nan was tall. Nan was "stately." Nan was boob city. Nan was responsible. Nan had a really good job, because she needed to feel like she was "contributing to the greater good." Nan didn't need to work. Nan was old money. Mom really liked the old money part. Mom was a "climber."

Jo is the bride I got. Jo is "plain." Jo is...east Kentucky hill folk, in Child Protective Services, living with her Uncle, cursed with unusual siblings, the daughter of a drunk Baptist preacher, short and still in high school. Jo is poor, flat-chested, and broken. She is broken due to two reasons. The nose is from a double strike with the butt of a gun. Jo can not look down her nose at anyone. Jo spent a year and a half in a full body cast due to an altercation with her horse and her brother. He wanted to "see some action" and waved his hat in front of the horses nose and then slapped it. The horse pitched her into a tree. That broke everything except her spine. The brother is the same brother who broke her nose with the gun. I did mention unusual siblings.

So now I find myself needing to explain.

- East Kentucky hill folk: one million people, two last names.
- Child Protective Services: her father came home drunk and wanted some, her sisters hid Jo in the closet.
- Living with her Uncle: That's where the state put her. Not much better than home.
- Siblings: we will eventually get to them.
- Drunk Baptist preacher: enough said.
- Short: genetics
- High School: Yeah baby!!

She is also the funniest person I ever met, her humor can be wicked and sarcastic, she has a rubber face, she can close her eyes from the bottom up, she can wiggle her ears one at a time, both together or in opposite directions, she is protective of "hers" and she looks good dressed up: but she never wears panties! She is really smart and turned down full ride scholarships to marry me.

I met Jo because Nan had decided to "teach me a lesson." I had pissed her off for some reason only explainable to another woman: a man would never understand it. Nan broke up with me, gave me back the ring and broke my heart.

So, I'm doing without, a situation that seems to haunt me periodically since my first "with" at the age of 14. I was playing bass at a street dance and saw the best walk I had ever seen in my 22 years. Those tight red pants she was wearing caught the eye. This girl woman had some moves. I stopped playing and yelled,

"Hey! Hey you! Tight red pants! Yeah, you! Stand over on that corner. I want to talk to you when this song is over!"

She did. The rest is predictable. Two days later I was in her pants and two weeks after that we were married. Then she met mom. TSHTF!! (the shit hit the fan) Mom did a lot of yelling, Nan did a lot of yelling (Nan was visiting mom, discussing me and my imagined transgressions), Jo yelled too. Jo was rattle snake mean and she won!(Jo had the license)

We were living in moms basement (in the fallout shelter) because I lost my job with the trucking company: they wanted me to unload the truck by hand after driving all day. Ain't happening!

Just down the street another Kirby lived (I'm a Kirby) next door to my best friend, Bill. We'll hear more about Bill later. That Kirby ran the new water treatment plant and needed another hand. He was washing his car and I had just been visiting Bill.

I have a job!! We moved. We moved to Harry's Apartments. Harry was 88 years old in 1966 and had a reputation.

"You didn't rent from Hands up Harry!" mom asked. "Tell me you didn't."

We both nodded.

"Jo, watch him like a hawk, hide your rent receipts or give them to me and change the locks."

Jo grinned and opened her purse. There, nestled in all the womans things, was a .38 snub.

"Wedding present from Uncle Jess and I know how to use it."

"Hands up Harry" retired from his market 20 years before and converted his huge home into an apartment house. Hands up, you asked? Harry had a thumb he used to put on his meat scales until he got caught. If you were new in town he'd short weight you until you caught him. "Hands up, Harry," everyone used to say. Eventually, Harry ran a wire from the scale through the frame of his meat case to a foot lever on the floor. This was before the FDA and the Department of Agriculture started responding to complaints from consumers. Harry got caught by the War Ration Coupon people and that was the end of Harrys Meat License. Harry closed the store in 1946 because it wasn't fun anymore. And he couldn't cheat the customers. Besides, the larger markets had started buying together and lowering prices. Now he rented to young people: he liked to rent to newly weds and single girls. He really liked it when they "got a little behind" on the rent. Jo had one confrontation about a rent receipt...she wanted one but "I don't have time right now,"said Harry.

"Harry, if you try to cheat us I'll shoot you where you stand. Then I'll tear my blouse and call the police." Out came the snub, Harry gave the receipt and never bothered her again.

Harry did ask me about the gun and if she'd use it. I just laughed.

The bed at the apartment got a lot of use. Fortunately, the couple who lived downstairs were newly weds, too. Every time one of us would get romantic the other couple would, too. Harry didn't like it very much, he wasn't getting any...everyone was caught up on the rent.

Harry died in the house one Friday and wasn't discovered until the smell got bad. Everyone had to move...bummer.