Chapter 44

Luke


	Looking back over his life, Luke was able to conclude that he'd done it all.  Now, 75, and in retirement at Carter Court after 40 years of teaching at the university level, he had plenty of time to review the ups and downs of his career and muse, philosophically, over these same.  
	
	After completing high school, he pursued a calling for the priesthood and entered the seminary at 18.  Idealistic, he took seriously his venture.  There were problems, of course.  His greatest preoccupation had to do with sex and his proclivity to men, and, older men, in particular.  But at that time, he felt that celibacy was the solution to his problem and, naively, strove towards the ideal of serving his fellow man spiritually and seeking his own salvation through his faith.  At the end of his second year of seminary, he changed his goals.  After reading the Fathers of the early church, he opted for the asceticism exemplified in their search for the spiritual and sought entrance into a Benedictine monastery.  In the Order of St. Benedict, he found that ideal exemplified in its motto: Ora et Labora, Prayer and Work.  Thus, at the end of his second year, he entered the novitiate to begin his serious study of the asceticism as found in the Rule of St. Benedict.  As before, he took this year and one day very seriously and managed to keep his sexual appetite under control.  This was a remarkable feat considering his age, 20, a time of life that is unrelenting in pressing for sexual outlet.  There were the wet dreams that came with leading a celibate life.  But he took those in stride, reflecting, correctly, that he hadn't intended them and that they were perfectly normal.  The body, he concluded, had its own needs and those needs asserted themselves when they deemed necessary.  

	At the end of his novitiate period, he continued his scholastic studies in the seminary, the goal being the receipt of his baccalaureate in Philosophy.  Needless to say, he excelled and thrived in the monastic setting of balancing his prayer, studies and work, the Ora et Labora, of St. Benedict.  While in the novitiate, he learned to barber.  Learning this skill is arbitrary.  Usually, the novice master chooses one person to apprentice and he then comes under the tutelage of the several barbers that had been chosen in the same way he had been.  As in other things, he excelled at this task.  It wasn't long before the Abbot himself came to Frater Luke, as was his chosen religious name, for haircuts.  

	Needless to say, the choice of Frater Luke as his barber was mostly motivated by vanity, the Abbot being a handsome old man in his seventies.  His full head of gray hair required the grooming necessary for his station, governing the monks of the abbey and representing the abbey in public.  Luke, too, was delighted that the Abbot chose him for his barbering needs.  But he noticed, as well, that the temptations of the flesh reignited.  The physical proximity to the Abbot was enough to stir up the sexual drives, that, until now, lay dormant, or, at least, in relative dormancy.  At every haircut involving the Abbot, Luke had erections.  Once, too, with the accidental touch of his groin by the Abbot's elbow, he exploded with an orgasm, the intensity of which he had never experienced.  The volume of sperm was incredibly large, much of it running down his pant leg, into his shoe and, ultimately, on the floor.  Aggravating this scenario was the Abbot's need for haircuts at a moments notice.  Often, he would appear at Luke's room and ask him to come down to his suite to give him a trim.  Usually, it had to do with a speaking engagement or some public appearance and, he needed to look his best.  

	The intensity of Luke's temptations became even greater at these times.  Often, the Abbot would sit on the toilet stool with only a ribbed undershirt, exposing his upper body to Luke in partial nudity.  At these times, the erections were painfully rigid.  At these times, too, his orgasms, when they occurred, were indescribably intense.  In his later years, reflecting on these episodes, he concluded that celibacy contributed to these exceedingly pleasant episodes of orgasm.  Philosophically, he mused, that temporary celibacy might enhance the sex act, making it more pleasurable.

	In the ensuing year, the Abbot began to take a deeper interest in Luke.  He learned that he typed and requested the cleric master to assign Luke to him for routine typing of letters and filing.  Since the Abbot had had a history of heart problems, the cleric master even added, "It's high time you asked for some help.  Luke is the perfect person to help you."

	Now Luke's dilemma increased two fold.  As barber, he was tempted by his close proximity to the Abbot.  As clerical assistant, his functions kept him in the Abbot's suite, his office and bedroom, most of the time.  The temptations increased.  Once, when he arrived in the Abbot's suite, he heard the Abbot shout, "Is that you Luke?  Come here for a minute."

	Luke realized that he was bathing.  His entire body shook with excitement at this new outcome.  Never had he seen the Abbot naked and feared for his reaction to this new revelation.  

	Standing outside the bathroom door, he answered, "Yes, is there something I can do?"

	"Yes, look in the cabinet for some towels.  I forgot to put one out."

	Luke entered the bathroom, breathless and shaking, barely able to talk.  He took in the Abbot sitting naked in the tub, his gray hair tousled over his forehead, the smooth skin of his chest and breasts glistening with droplets of water.  His slight stomach protruded above the line of water showing signs of a vestige of faint hair leading from his navel to his cock.  

	Luke moved quickly to the cabinet, grabbed a towel and offered it to the Abbot.  

	"Give me your hand Luke.  It's hard for me to stand."

	Luke offered his hand and support and drew him out of the water.  He supported his arm and his waist as he helped him step onto the bath carpet.  He stammered, "Can I dry your back, Father Abbot?"

	"Yes, yes Luke.  Please do!" he countered.

	As Luke dried his back, he took in the ascetic beauty of his body.  It was a patrician body, lithe, firm.  The flaccid muscles of his buttocks and the slight paunch were the only traits that indicated his age.  His cock and testicles, warmed by the long immersion in water, hung loosely and swayed slightly to the pressure of the towel as Luke dried his back and buttocks.  The cock measured a good 3 inches flaccid and Luke tried hard to imagine it standing hard, offering itself to his mouth.  The intensity of the emotion was too much for Luke's cock. He felt its spurts into his underwear.  Again, as before, the volume of sperm amazed him as he found it running down his leg onto the bathroom floor.  He sighed, a sigh that inwardly screamed his pleasure.  It was enough of a sigh for the Abbot to react to.  

	"Are you OK, Luke?"

	"No, no Father Abbot.  I'm fine.  I'm fine.  I just wanted to wipe up some of the water that dropped onto the floor."

	He quickly grabbed a face cloth nearby and wiped the floor at the Abbot's feet, mainly of the drippings from his hot cock.  With that, he took note of the Abbot's feet that stood at finger's length from him as well as his cock, which in his kneeling position stood inches from his face and mouth. He wanted to kiss those feet, tenderly.  His body desperately wanted to take his sweet cock deep into his mouth and lovingly suck it dry of the imagined cum that lay in the testicles, inches from his mouth.  The odor of his masculinity permeated his nostrils.  Nervously, he slid the stool that stood nearby toward the Abbot.

	"Please sit down.  Let me dry your feet."

	"Oh, Luke.  That's not necessary.  I can take care of that."

	"NO! NO!  I'm already here.  Let me help," his voice crackled in excitement.  

	As he dried his feet, the Abbot talked about what he would like Luke to do this day.  

	"I've got some letters piled up on the desk.  Type them and let's see if we can get them in the mail today.  Also, the other pile is stuff that has to be filed.  That shouldn't take you too long.  I'm sure you've got some studies to take care of so I won't keep you too long."

	Little did he know that Luke's preference would have been never to leave the Abbot but to be at his beck and call for the entire day, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  Luke's smile gave mute testimony to that desire, a smile that escaped the Abbot unless had he been watching closely.  

	More than two years passed.  The proximity to the Abbot continued to reinforce his love and affection for him.  For the Abbot, too, something was happening.  He found Luke to be his confidant more and more.  He began relating more and more intimate feelings and experiences of his to Luke.  One, which was mostly medical, had to do with constipation.

	"Luke, I'm sure you could do without this kind of revelation.  But I need to ask someone that I can trust.  For some time now, I've been having trouble with constipation.  It gets terrible, so terrible that I actually gag and become nauseous under the strain of trying to evacuate.  I'm afraid the strain will lead to another heart attack."

	Luke brightened at this request, thinking back to his own father who had problems with impactions.  

	"Sounds to me like you're having impactions.  My father had a problem with that.  If you go to the doctor or to a nurse, the only thing they can do is pull it out.  Sometimes you can do it yourself.  In a way, it's messy and uncomfortable.  But the result is instantaneous and effective. I did it for my father for years.  Have you had problems with it recently?"

	"Yes.  In fact, for the last day or so, I haven't had a bowel movement and my stomach feels nauseous.  There's also the gnawing feeling of having to go.  I almost dread going to the toilet anymore."

	"Well, Father Abbot, would you like me to give it a try.  It's that or calling in a doctor or nurse each and every time and I know that's not possible.  The initial problem might be your sphincter muscle.  You are probably tensing up and not allowing for the sphincter to relax and evacuate."

	"Would you, Luke?  I'm so desperate that it makes me tense and nervous the entire day," he sighed, a glimpse of tears forming in the corner of his eyes as he looked desperately toward Luke.

	"Let's start by taking all of your clothes off.  Initially, I want you to lie on your side on the bed so I can probe.  I'll be very gentle although there might be a little discomfort."

	To prepare the Abbot, he covered the bed with a towel and rubber sheet and assisted him to lie on his side, close to the edge of the bed.  His own feelings cried out for him, sensing the awkwardness and the pain of the impaction.  At the same time, Luke felt his physical, sexual side take over.  His cock pulsed and ached as he knelt before the Abbot's anus.  He took in the testicles that protruded from between his legs and wished that he might take them full into his mouth and suck them gently.

	"Now, relax, Abbot.  I'm going to use lots of Vaseline to ease my finger and fingers into the anus to probe.  You can expect me to gently massage the anus in order to relax it as well as the sphincter.  But I want to make it easy on you so I'll spend lots of time relaxing that muscle."

	"Go ahead, Luke.  Do what you have to.  I'll be OK."

	Luke began with smearing a large quantity of Vaseline on the anus and the region around it.  He gently massaged the outer surface, without penetrating the anus directly.  

	"As I do this Father Abbot, concentrate on relaxing the muscles of the anus."

	He continued the massage.  Gradually, after about 5 minutes of gentle external massage, he felt the anus begin to relax.

	"I feel it relaxing now, Father Abbot.  Now I'm going to probe gradually.  So expect a little discomfort here.  But try not to tighten up.  Feel my finger moving ever so slightly into your anus.  I'm going to do this gradually," he continued.

	"What do you feel now, Father Abbot?"

	"I'll have to be honest with you.  I feel nothing.  I'm very comfortable and relaxed.  In fact, I'm embarrassed to say, it feels good."

	"I'm going to go deeper now.  I'm going to probe to see if I can feel an impaction.  Once we determine that, we can go ahead."

	"My finger is almost all the way in.  Are you OK?"

	"Yes, yes.  I still feel no discomfort."

	"Good.  I'm going in all the way now.  Yes, I can feel it.  It's an impaction that's very solid and the reason for your discomfort.  Are you OK?"

	"Yes, I still feel no discomfort except for a little pressure and the need to urinate."

	"That's normal Father Abbot.  The need to urinate is caused by the pressure of the impaction and my finger on your prostate.  I've placed towels and a rubber sheet under you, so if you feel a need to urinate, don't worry.  Go right ahead."

	"OK.  Now that we've determined the cause, we're going to work on removing it.  This might become a little uncomfortable since I have to go deeper and form the impaction so that its bulk comes to a point and eases out.  In fact, after I probe some more, it might be easier if you sit on the toilet and let nature take its course.  By that I mean, as you sit and I form it with my hand in you as you sit, your body will bear down naturally to expel the blockage.  With lots of Vaseline to lubricate, it should come out easily."

	"OK.  Go ahead.  So far, the ordeal has been non existent."  

	"One more thing, Father Abbot.  Expect some clear fluid to secrete from the head of your penis.  This is simply a reaction of the prostate from the pressure of the impaction and my fingers.  I said fingers.  I'm going to attempt to relax your sphincter even more now but I'll try to be gentle."

	As Luke gently moved one, then two fingers into the outer opening of the anus, he noted the Abbot's cock responding.  A semi erection was in evidence.  Luke's cock pulsed again and he felt the pressure in his testicles for closure and felt it move towards an orgasm.  The pleasure was excruciating and he could hardly conceal the joy of the sperm as it shot into his underwear and pants.  Since he was kneeling, it drained down his thigh to his knee and he could feel the warmth of the hot cum envelope his knee.  He spoke to conceal his ecstasy.

	"My movement in and out with two fingers, now, is to relax you further.  I've got to get way in there to form the stool so that it forms a point and moves easily out of the anal canal.  After I probe some more, we will move to the toilet where I'll continue the process."

	"OK.  Luke.  It's a little uncomfortable but sublimely bearable knowing the outcome."

	Luke continued to probe in and out with two fingers, then three, in a fucking motion.  He was beginning to form the impaction.

	"Let's move to the toilet now, Father Abbot.  We'll continue to do the same there.  This time, however, bear down as if you're having a normal bowel movement.  I'll help it along and we should get results quickly."

	They moved to the toilet.  Luke knelt before the Abbot, his left hand on his bare back, his right hand and fingers between his legs up into his anus, his head resting on his chest.  He continued forming and felt the Abbot's exertions moving the hard impaction.  

	"Oh Luke, I feel it moving.  What a great feeling!  It's almost like having an orgasm," he groaned.  

	Luke smiled at the analogy.  He wondered what the Abbot might say if he knew that he had already cum at the expectation of the outcome, and offered, "Keep pushing.  Keep pushing."

	With that, the entire impaction dropped into Luke's hand and then into the toilet.  The sense of relief was tangible.  

	Pulling his hand from the toilet, he gasped, "Sit for awhile and enjoy the comfort of a normal evacuation.  Some more feces will come out but it will be a feeling bordering on the erotic, now."

	Luke moved to the sink to wash his hands, relieved and ecstatic at the outcome.  He felt the cum from his orgasm slide into his sock and shoe now and hoped none of it showed.  The Abbot sat quietly, heaving deep sighs of relief, steeped in his own thoughts about what had transpired.  Luke wondered what they might be and hoped they would lead to greater intimacy and, love, a word he had been afraid to utter over these two years.  Later, he reflected over the irony of trying to hide from his proclivities towards older men by studying for the priesthood, only to be caught up in a brewing storm of sexuality, the very thing he had been trying to avoid.

	As the Abbot sat, Luke drew water for his bath.  

	"When you're finished, I want you to sit in the tub for a while.  The warm water will act as a sitz bath and help your anal muscles and sphincter to relax.  Then it might do you some good to take a nap."

	"Right now, that sounds like a very good idea," embracing him as he spoke.

	After the bath and the Abbot tucked in for a nap, they quietly discussed the events of the day.  

	"A couple of things might help this condition.  One, watch your diet.  Try to eat more roughage in the form of fruit and vegetables.  Also, be conscious of drinking more liquids.  The other thing, and I know you may not like this, is that I continue to massage the sphincter on some sort of a schedule, perhaps two or three times a week to see if we can, over time, relax and open up the sphincter muscle.  That way, over time, evacuation might be a little easier should the impaction occur again."

	"That sounds good to me, Luke.  I hate to put you through this rather untasteful regime.  No one likes to be around fecal matter, let alone touching it.  As for the discomfort, I really felt very little.  You were, as you said you would be, very gentle.  Foremost, the relief that I felt more than made up for whatever discomfort there might have been.

	Weeks and months passed.  Luke received his B. A. in Philosophy and began his four-year studies in Theology, in preparation for ordination to the priesthood, the goal he had set out to achieve.  Meanwhile, he continued to suffer from the never-ending desire to sexually love his Abbot.  That thought filled him with guilt, the guilt of desiring a man, the guilt that derived from masturbation to which he returned as a relief from his closeness and intimacy with the Abbot.  For several years, particularly after his novitiate, he was able to control his masturbation.  Now, he sought relief in it, which lifted his guilt to new levels of anxiety and depression.  He reflected: if this is happening now, will I be able to control it in the future?  Am I fit for ordination?  Will I make a good priest?  Should I withdraw from my pursuit of ordination?  These questions and others continued to surface and he had no one to turn to for answers.  Certainly, not the Abbot!  Or should he?  Perhaps he would be open to listening to his problem.  

	In the end, he came to a conclusion of his own.  The Abbot was now in his late 70's and perhaps, a heart attack would end his problem.  He concluded, too, that nothing sexually had ever happened, thus far.  Therefore, more than likely, nothing will happen.  His emotional suffering was all that bothered him, and, he felt, he could handle that.

	As time went on, however, the intimacy between Luke and the Abbot increased.  The finger probing of the Abbot's anus continued as planned.  He noticed, however, other things beginning to occur.  For one, the Abbot began to respond to his probing.  Invariably, he would have an erection, and, more often than not, an orgasm.  Luke pretended ignorance and, apparently, the Abbot feigned indifference to the matter.  He also noticed that the anus responded naturally to his finger insertions.  He could accommodate three fingers, with ease, now.  In fact, he commented about that to the Abbot.

	"It looks like the sphincter is now in good shape.  So far, you haven't had any impactions for two years.  That's a good sign.  But we should probably continue the massages so as to keep the sphincter relaxed." 

	In addition, once, after Luke gave the Abbot a haircut, he proceeded to massage his neck.  The Abbot moaned his acceptance."

	"That feels wonderful Luke.  It's so relaxing."

	The neck massages then became a normal routine, even when no haircuts were given.  Luke, aware of his greater emotional involvement, went further.  He suggested a foot massage, and this, too, became part of the daily routine.  Passive acceptance was the term Luke came up with.  He felt sure that the Abbot's dependence on Luke reached a new level, one in which Luke could do or suggest anything and the Abbot would accede.  To test his theory, one day, after massaging his neck and feet, he proceeded to undress the Abbot totally, saying, "Today, let's try a complete body massage."

	"To what do I owe that?" replied the Abbot. 

	"It'll make you feel even better and more relaxed."

	While all this went on, Luke continued to have erections and orgasms as he ministered the Abbot.  Once, in fact, the Abbot may have noticed.  He commented to Luke, "You look like you've got some water on your pant leg," referring to one of the involuntary orgasms that occurred minutes before.  

	"You're right.  I must have wet them while at the sink a while ago, realizing suddenly that he hadn't been to the sink that day, at all.  The Abbot may have concluded the same and began to say something.  Instead, he simply nodded assent, allowing Luke's excuse to fall unanswered. 

	The ease with which he undressed the old Abbot amazed Luke.  He concluded, that, indeed, the Abbot was completely open to Luke's suggestions and manipulation.  Luke savored his nakedness.  He took in his gentle, ascetic face, his brow partially trimmed with the gray locks of hair, the eyes, gentle, almost tearful in response to Luke's care and giving.  A delicate trace of gray accented the nipples of his otherwise smooth and delicate skin.  He followed the outline of gray over the stomach to his pubic area on which his flaccid 4" cock lay, entwined in a profusion of gray hair.  His legs opened slightly, revealing his relaxed testicles.  In all, Luke stood transfixed at the image spread before him, awaiting his attention, hopefully, his love, as well.

	"Turn over on your stomach, Father Abbot.  I'll massage your back first."

	He began his massage at the neck, gently massaging the nape, the ears, and the temples.  He moved to the shoulders, kneading gently in a circular motion, extending his massage in long strokes down the spine to the buttocks, stopping short of the anus.  His massage moved to the buttocks, his legs and his feet, his hands sliding gently along the inner thigh, grazing the warm testicles and cock that offered themselves to Luke's view.  He made sure, when massaging the anus, that his thumbs moved gently over his anus, parting the cheeks slightly, his thumbs dipping teasingly into the anal opening, expanding the sphincter, that, at this stage of development, responded willingly.

	He commented, "The sphincter, Father Abbot, seems very relaxed now."

	"Yes, yes, it does, Luke.  I've noticed that for some time now."

	"Now turn on your back Father Abbot."

	He assisted him to the new position by taking him into his arms, turning him gently onto his back.  It was clear that the massage met its intended purpose for Luke.  The Abbot's cock stood partially erect and he could detect a small drop of precum oozing from the cockhead.  It took all his will power to keep him from bowing and taking his slightly throbbing cock into his mouth.  But he bided his time and continued with the massage, starting with the face.  He gently massaged the eyes, nose, and cheeks, moving gradually down to the nipples on his chest.  His warm hands toyed with the nipples, noting their hardness and responsiveness to his touch.  As he moved to the Abbot's pubic area, the Abbot spoke.

	"Luke, you're sweating.  Why don't you take off some of your clothes, if not all?  You'll be more comfortable."

	Breathless and speechless at this suggestion as well as from excitement of the moment, Mark gasped acquiescence and stripped, his 8 inch cock standing rigid and throbbing, dripping with precum.  He wasn't sure if the Abbot had noticed, but he continued with his massage.  But now his eyes moved to the Abbot's cock, hard and throbbing, almost in beat with his own.  He could bear it no longer.  His hot mouth enveloped the Abbot's throbbing and dripping hot cock and he sucked it deeply and gently, massaging his testicles and asshole as he did so.

	The quiet was broken with a plea from the Abbot, "Take me, Luke.  Please!"

	Luke stepped onto the bed, raised the Abbot's legs high, resting them on his shoulders and drove his hot, throbbing 8 inches into the Abbot's welcoming and receptive asshole.  His cock slid in easily and he pumped his hardness deep, at the same time, kissing the soles of his feet, and, with his right hand, massaging the Abbot's rigid cock that lay before him.  The tension reached a climax and in muted screams, he cried, "Take my love, Father Abbot."

	The violence of the hot spurts of cum filled the Abbot's asshole and spilled onto the sheets, the Abbot reacting himself to the hard thrusts of Luke's hot cock, crying out, "Yes, yes, fill me with your hot cum.  Take mine, too."  

	Hot spurts of cum shot upward onto Luke's stomach and hand as he continued to stroke the Abbot's pulsing, throbbing cock.  He licked it.  He offered some to the Abbot.  Withdrawing, he bowed low, keeping the Abbot's legs raised high and sucked deep with his tongue and mouth, his own hot cum as it drained from the Abbot's relaxed and open asshole.  Returning his cock to the Abbot's hot asshole,  he positioned his body between his legs, turning him slightly on his side, and kissed him passionately, his eyes, his nose, his mouth, sinking his tongue deep, tasting the remnants of the Abbot's cum offered to him earlier from his hand.  His cock moved in and out, gently, slowly, each thrust savoring the sensations of orgasm and the feeling of warmth and well being that enveloped each.  

	A half hour passed in silence.  Shallow breathing gave evidence of rest and composure.  The Abbot spoke first.

	"Luke, you're probably thinking, what next?  What happened just now between the two of us was inevitable.  It had to happen; it was going to happen; I've wanted it and I'm glad it happened.  I hope you feel the same.  In fact, I know you feel the same, your actions and love over the last several years attesting to that fact.  I want it to continue and our love to deepen."

	"Father Abbot, those are my sentiments exactly.  Besides, our loving just now lifts a tremendous load from me.  Physically, my body cried out for this over these many years and, unbeknown to you, reacted.  I've lost count of the number of involuntary orgasms I've had from being in such proximate and loving contact with your body.  This last act released all those tensions in one magnificent orgasm of love.  Words cannot describe my feelings for you and towards you and I hope you'll accept those sentiments with understanding and love."

	"I've sensed all along your affection for me.  In fact, I also sensed the difficulties you might have been having.  I'm sorry that it took so long to come to fruition.  But that is all in the past.  It's the future we have to look forward to.  We'll now be able to talk about our relationship more openly."

	Quiet again prevailed.  They dozed.  Three times in the next two hours, Luke's cock pulsed against the Abbot back.  Three times, too, did the Abbot back his hot and receptive asshole onto Luke's hot cock and feel the hot spurts of cum lubricate his hole.  Each time, the Abbot would turn and suck the remnant of Luke's hot sperm as his cock emerged from his hot asshole.  Later, just before midnight, Luke slipped into the Abbot's bed and loved.

	The days and months that followed were blissful for both.  Summertime was the best for Luke.  He was free from classes and acted as the Abbot's chauffeur.  This meant days alone with the Abbot in hotels and motels as his responsibilities took him on many special speaking assignments throughout the state.  It also meant discussions, endless discussions over the moral meaning of their actions.  The Church viewed these acts as sinful and it worried Luke immensely.  The Abbot's view, time and again, was that, ultimately, it was between the individual and God.  Whatever the Church said about it was for the external forum, a term that meant it described the official position of the Church.  In the internal forum, as long as Luke or the Abbot for that matter, tried to remain chaste, and confessed their sins before God, ultimately, it was for God to judge them.

	Luke came to his own conclusions.  In moral theology he learned that if a penitent comes to confession and confesses to habitual masturbation, the confessor can tell him to never mention this sin anymore, as long as he continues to come to the same confessor.  The moral reasoning here was that for a sin to be mortal, that is, a grievous sin that jeopardized one's salvation, three things must happen simultaneously: there must be grave matter, sufficient reflection, and full consent of the will.  Obviously, the chronic masturbator lacked either sufficient reflection or full consent of the will since his sinful act was chronic.  Psychologically, he could not resist the temptation to masturbate.  Luke, on this basis, reasoned that his homosexual bent was not a choice.  It had always been there.  He reasoned further that he would never have chosen a social role that would put him in direct conflict with society.  Likewise, he saw no real difference between the relief of a hand on one's cock, masturbation, and relief achieved orally or anally.  The hand or the mouth or the asshole was simply the means to an end, the end being orgasm.

	His emotions told him, also, that the deep love he felt for the Abbot, could not be construed as evil.  How can loving someone, anyone, be judged as bad?  In the end, he came back to the Abbot's reasoned answer that it, ultimately, was in God's hands.  The discussions helped Luke form his conscience and, ultimately, allay the guilt that followed him daily in his pursuit of salvation.  

	Their love life reached new heights now.  Often, when everyone in the monastery had retired, Luke would slip into the Abbot's suite and they would lie naked and love for hours.  Their lovemaking was tender.  Luke liked to massage the Abbot, relaxing him, at the same time, pleasuring him and himself with delicate touches on the head of his cock with his mouth and tongue.  Often, when the Abbot's cock stood hard, Luke would rise above him and sit, inserting his hard cock deep inside and massage his throbbing cock in a rhythmic and slow motion until the Abbot's hot fluids would rise in his testicles and spurt deep into Luke's asshole. At other times, at the moment of ejaculation, he would raise up and catch the sweetness of his love in his mouth and suck every drop from his hard cock until it lay flaccid.  At these times, too, the Abbot would cry for Luke's fulfillment.  Often, while still in the height of passion, Luke would insert his hot cock in the Abbot's receptive and puckering asshole and fill it with his hot cum.  At still other times, he would shoot his hot load into the Abbot's mouth, then lay with him, kissing, exchanging the hot cum between them.  Inevitably, a quiet sleep would ensue, their arms and legs entwined in loving intimacy.  Life was never better for Luke and the Abbot.

	All this came to a quick halt just 3 months before Luke's ordination to the priesthood.  The Abbot, while visiting with his two elderly sisters at their home, experienced a major coronary.  He died within hours.  The Abbey and, most especially, Luke were in shock.  The Abbot was deeply loved by all for his kindness and understanding.  Luke's grief was even greater and for weeks he despaired of going on and seriously considered leaving the seminary and seeking ordination to the priesthood.   Gradually, under advisement of his confessor, Luke finished his studies and was, ultimately, ordained as a priest and a Benedictine monk.

	After ordination, besides teaching at the preparatory school connected with the monastery, he engaged in parochial duties in the diocese in which the abbey resided.  These duties involved helping out in churches around the diocese, saying Mass, and hearing confessions.  He began to see another side of his calling through these external contacts.  His contacts with the priests in the monastery also changed.  He was no longer Frater Luke but Father Luke and the beneficiary of new confidences.  And because of his proclivity for older men, he sought the company of the older monks.  A completely different world of sexuality opened for Luke, now.

	Father Maurus was one such example.  He was an old priest in his seventies who was in charge of the large farm connected to the Abbey.  Often, in the evening, he would come down to Father Maurus' room at night and talk.  Their discussions took them in all directions, including matters of sex.  Father Maurus admitted to Luke that he often masturbated and didn't see anything wrong with it.  After that, whever they met, they ended up in bed, naked, massaging each other's cock until orgasm.  While he would allow Luke to suck his cock, he would never reciprocate.

	Father Michael was another of Luke's liaisons.  One evening, while talking about things in general in his room, Father Michael, complained of some muscle aches.  Luke offered a massage that Father Michael agreed to.  Luke stripped him naked and was greeted by a hard, throbbing 8-inch cock oozing precum.  

	Amazed at the 82 year old's virility, he commented, "Looks like we've got to take care of this first," bending low and taking his throbbing and dripping shaft deep into his throat.  It seemed only seconds later, Father Michael poured his hot cum into Luke's waiting mouth, gasping, "Oh, God.  Take it Luke.  Take that hot cum.  Oh God!  Oh God!  Take it, take it, taaakkke it all."   After that, their encounters were, at least, twice weekly.  And there were many others.

	His weekend assignments in the parishes were equally illuminating.  Often, he would arrive on a Saturday and have dinner with the pastor in the rectory.  Always, drinks were a preamble to eating.  Inevitably, too, after dinner drinks were in order.  Once, while on call at Father Jim's church, after many libations, Father Luke went to his room to nap.  Minutes into his nap, Father Jim's warm, naked body sidled in next to Luke.  He felt his hard cock press into the folds of his ass, his cheeks giving way to Father Jim's pressure.  He laid on his back to receive Father Jim's seventy-year-old cock deep in his hot receptive asshole and pressed back in synch with Father Jim's hard deep thrusts deep into his asshole.  The slow movement gave way to more passioned thrusts and minutes into their lovemaking, Father Jim shot his hot load deep into Luke's asshole.  Luke's passion heightened at this explosion and he screamed his hot orgasm into Father Jim's receiving mouth.  Their lovemaking became habitual after that.  

	Three years after his ordination, Luke fell into a crisis on conscience.  The old gnawing thoughts of sinning reentered his thoughts and he began, for the first time in his career, to doubt his worth as a priest.  The sexual contacts, both in and out of the monastery, increased but the intimacy that Luke desired and sought were absent.  Most liaisons were temporary.  It seemed that most of the monks and priests he met had come to some sort of moral accommodation in their acts and sought only temporary release from their sexual drives.  

These doubts coincided with his meeting a retired dentist.  Their friendship began as casual, but, over time,  it developed into a more serious infatuation with one another.  The sexual attraction was ever present in the evolution of this friendship but never overt.  But the intensity grew for each and it became clear to Luke that, if he wanted to continue this relationship, he would have to confront his status as a priest.  Inevitably, the sexual side emerged.  One evening, after spending most of the day together, they arrived home.  Paul suggested that Luke spend the night at his house.  Each knew in his heart the outcome of this perfect day.  No sooner did Paul suggest, did Luke acquiesce.  That evening Paul sat close to Luke on the sofa.  Without a word, he laid his head on his lap and whispered, "Father Luke, I wish this day would never end.  I want to be with you at all times, forever."

	That cinched Luke's decision.  Though he did not speak of it at that moment, he knew that he would have to petition the Abbot and the Holy See for a reduction to the lay state.  His thoughts at this moment hadn't even formulated that request, but, somewhere deep in his inner recesses, he knew.  It took the form of whispered love and a kiss.

	"Paul, I want that too.  Those are my sentiments, exactly.  I never want for this day to end!"

	Luke bowed down and kissed Paul deeply.  Their tongues entwined and tasted their inner passion.  Each showered the other with tender kisses over the eyes, nose, ears, mouth, chin, neck, whispering over and over again, "I love you.  I love you.  I love you."

	Their loving, interrupted by the several minutes it took them to undress and fall into bed naked, continued for the entire night and into the next day.  

	The next day, Luke resolved to petition for a reduction to the lay state, a formal procedure known as laicization.  Once granted, a priest may no longer perform the tasks of the priesthood: saying mass, hearing confession, administering the sacraments, except in emergencies.  

	Once the decision was made, a tremendous peace fell upon Luke.  His announcement to Paul was met with the same enthusiasm with which Luke related his decision.  Months passed before the laicization was granted.  It was then that Luke and Paul moved to a large metropolitan city in the east, found an apartment, and lived happily for the next 25 years.  Luke was able to find work teaching in the local school system, and, after completing his graduate work, accepted a position at the university where he labored happily until his retirement.

 


