Under a cart
23-Jul-98 09:34:49

Hi, I know this is not really trampling. But I think it fits the discussion.
Anyhow, I just bought a golf car the other day. It weighs in a good 750 pounds.
The day before yesterday, I was out in the garage trying to figure out a way to get it on top of me. When suddenly my girl friend walks into the garage and discovers me lying under a piece of plywood trying to get this cart on top of it. (Something which I found to be near impossible by the way.)
Up until that point, I had not told my girlfriend about my trample and crush thing right. So of course she is curious as hell as to what in the hell I'm doing. I tried explaining that I was just going to get the cart on top of me and let it sit there for a while to build up my chest muscles. Somehow, I don't think she bought it. She did go along with me though.
She told me she would help out by driving the cart up onto the board only if I were under a mattress. So I immediately went into the house and grabbed the queen size mattress and box springs off the bed and carried them out to the garage.
Then I took down another sheet of plywood from the rafters to make a ramp she could drive up on. After setting it all up, (one board on top of the mattress and the other as a ramp) I squeezed in between the mattress and box springs. I had only my head sticking out from the far end. I do need to breath you know!
After I got into position, she immediately drove the little battery powered cart up onto me. God' you would not believe the crush I felt! It was wonderful!
After she had the cart centered on me, she set the brake and just sat inside the cart and started talking to me about her work day. I learned the reason she was able to sneak up on me was her car had broken down. A coworker had brought her home and dropped her at the end of the drive way.
Meanwhile, I was thoroughly pinned! The mattress had me squeezed tight between it and the springs and had a firm grip on me. I was totally unable to move. And breathing? It was hard as hell, but manageable. After ten minutes of that weight though, I was about ready to pass out. I couldn't however, find the strength to tell her to back the cart off of me. I thought she would miss me suffocating during her dialog and I would just lay there and be squeezed to death. Fortunately though, she took raised herself over the edge of the front of the cart and looked at me. That's all it took. She right away released the brake and backed the cart down. In the sudden intake of air I passed right out.
When I came to, she was kneeling down beside me with a wet towel. She said, "I think you were under there too long. I think next time we better set a time limit." I looked up at her and smile. "Man if I do this every other day, my chest and abdomen will get really strong." She said, "ok, I'll help you out, but we got to set a time limit of no more than ten minutes until you get stronger. OK?" I said OK. Then she gave me a little smirk and gut up and walked away. Isn't life grand?