

   I still remember that night and coming back home and crying my eyes out
way into the early morning hours.  I remember being by myself and wishing
my wife was there with me.  I needed her there that night for her comfort
and maybe a little guidance.

   Instead.  She was out on a date with her boyfriend, Mark!  Yes.  I was
upset with her, even with the long talk we had about our love.  I knew
things wouldn't be the same any longer.  It was inevitable to what
direction our lives were going at that moment.

   Yes.  I could change the coarse.  Did I?  I look back at that night and
now wonder if my anger got the best of me.  I remember Tammy coming home
early the next morning.  I remember hearing her crying on the front room
sofa.

   I remember going to see what was wrong.  My thoughts were that maybe she
had an argument with Mark?  I had suddenly forgot about my own situation.
My life!  I was worried about what was wrong with my wife!

   I remember walking up to Tammy and seeing how upset she was and
remembered leaning over and touching her shoulder.  I remember how Tammy
had suddenly risen up and quickly gave me a hug and started to sob loudly.

   I sat on the edge of that sofa that night with my arms around my wife
figuring she had just broken up with Mark.  Tammy had cried for almost five
minutes until she finally muttered a few words between sniffling and
clearing her eyes.

   I remember what she said.  "It's Mark!  I don't know what I'm I going to
do?"

   I remember rubbing her back and holding her as tight as I could and
waited for her to tell me the whole story.  I wanted to know what went
wrong with their relationship?  Did he treat her badly?  She didn't look
abused so I wasn't worried that she was physically hurt.

   I remember saying.  "There.  There.  It'll be all right now.  Your home
now and we are together now.  Nobody is going to hurt you."

   I had waited several more minutes until Tammy finally wiped her eyes and
I kissed her forehead and held her chin with my hand and she kissed me.  We
kissed again until we were locked passionately mingling out tongues
together.

   We finally stopped kissing and I remember Tammy clearing her throat and
sniffing as she rubbed the back of my head before she spoke.  I remember
what she said as clearly as if it were today.

   "I'm so happy and glad that your going to be here for me while Mark is
gone!  He's been called up to go to Iraq for maybe up to a year!  He
promised me he would come back to me safe and sound!"

   My heart sank that night when I looked into my wife's eyes and saw the
love and compassion she had for Mark and it finally hit me how much she was
in love with him.  I knew at that moment our marriage was over the way it
had been for so long.

   Yes.  I felt compassion for my wife as I continued to hold her tight and
listed to her as she went on and explained everything into more detail.

   I listened as she told me he had gotten a registered letter and because
he was in the active reserves and the army needed all the soldiers they
could get that they were telling him he had to go back.  Maybe for up to a
year!

   I had forgot about everything I was so upset about and turned all my
attention onto Tammy at that moment.  I remember going to bed that night as
we snuggled under the covers.  Tammy had fallen asleep with her arm around
me for comfort that night.

   The week was a mess and I remember how much Tammy walked around the
house so depressed that week.  Mark was calling her every hour or making
arrangements to meeting her for dinner each night and I'm sure there was
more!

   The following Friday, I had gone along with her to the airport to say
goodbye to Mark.  I remember watching them hold each other while I stood
from a distance and watching them kiss for the last time as Mark walked
down the long hallway that would take him to his plane.

   I remembered how Tammy and I stood near a window and watched the plane
take off into the air and waited until it was completely out of our sight
before we walked back to the car.  Tammy didn't say one word as we walked
back to the car and drove back home.

   I drove and all I can remember was Tammy holding her head down and
playing with her fingers and that's when I noticed the ring for the first
time.  She was wearing a large diamond ring on her left hand where our
wedding band should have been.

   I felt my heart skip a beat as I choked up but didn't say anything as I
drove the car.  We got home that night and I remembered making dinner for
us but Tammy didn't have much of an appetite.

   Later that night when we were laying in bed, I asked Tammy about the
ring.  She smiled as she shook her head and replied.

   "Mark gave it to me last night.  He wanted me to have it before he left
for Iraq!"

   I swallowed hard before I asked her my next question.  I may have caught
her at the right moment and a little off guard.

   "I guess he wanted you to have that big diamond engagement ring before
he left.  Didn't he?"

   She took her right hand and played with the ring on her finger as she
starred at it with a smile on her face and shook her head in agreement to
my question.

   "Mark said he was going to wait until he returned home but wanted me to
have it now."

   I was too upset to reply as my eyes began to form puddles under them and
I couldn't see out of them and wipe my hand across my eyes.  That's when
Tammy realized what she was saying to me and how I felt at that moment.

   Tammy tried to pull me closer to her as I said, "This means that he
proposed to you?"

   Now we were both upset for different reasons and I got up from the bed
and stormed out, slamming the door behind me.  I ran into another bedroom
and laid down and cried my eyes out.  Tammy hadn't followed me as I would
have assumed she would.

   I feel asleep with the sun shining in my eyes the next morning and tuned
over to find Tammy sleeping on the bed next to me.  She was laying on her
side facing me with her hands near her chin.  I noticed her left ring
finger was now bare.  She had removed the ring before coming into the room
to sleep next to me.

   Tammy's eyes opened and she looked at me and smiled and gave me a big
hug.  We lay there for a few minutes just starring at each other and I
finally took hold of her hand and said.

   "Tammy.  Why did you take Mark's ring off last night?  I want you to go
put it on."

   "Jenny.  I'm so sorry.  I didn't mean to hurt you.  I just wasn't
thinking last night."

   I wanted to be more firm with her as I replied.  "I want you to put it
on and don't even think about taking it off again.  Do you understand?"

   Tammy didn't respond but only tilted her head down and starred at my
gown as I got out of bed and went out to fix coffee.  A few minutes later,
Tammy walked into the kitchen and I poured us both a cup of coffee and
noticed that she was wearing the ring again.

   It meant everything to me at that moment.  It told me where her heart
was at and where our relationship had gone.  That was the morning I had
made my decision!

   That was eleven months ago!  I don't know where to start with everything
that had taken place over that period of time.  Yes.  Tammy and I were
still legally married.

   I had been taking hormones that whole time now and my body was
significantly changing.  Into my ninth month I had made another decision to
have a breast augmentation.  I was now a well developing woman with a bust
size of thirty-eight and a cup size of a C now.



   My hair was much longer now and I could wear it the way I wanted now
without the help of a wig.  My skin had gotten softer and I had no problem
at all passing for a woman on the street.  There was only one thing on my
anatomy that kept me from passing as a real woman now.



   Yes, My penis!  It had become useless for me now.  I was one of those
transsexuals where the use of my penis was affected by the hormones I was
taking.  Yes.  It got smaller and I could no longer attain an erection.

   Yes.  I masturbated but when Tammy was gone away from the house but I
couldn't get hard any longer and could only orgasm in a small amount from
what I was able to do several months ago.

   I was seeing my doctor on a weekly basis and we talked about having the
surgery on each visit.  I never spoke to Tammy about my plans or even
hinted to what we talked about at his office.

   My relationship changed with Tammy as each month passed.  Mark was only
able to call her twice since he had been in Iraq but the communicated by
email on a weekly basis.  Tammy had surprised me last week when she asked
me to pose in a picture with her so she could send it to Mark.

   I remember getting dressed and sitting on the edge of the bed with Tammy
and setting the camera to automatically snap the picture.  Tammy had than
asked me to take a couple of her on the bed in her nightie.  I didn't mind
but saw a look on her face and knew exactly what she would like me to do
for her.

   She wanted to send a sexy nude shot of herself to Mark so we took
several and printed them out and mailed them to Mark.  Tammy had told me
this morning that Mark had got them and thanked me for taking them for her.

   That's when we sat down together and made our plans to see an attorney
together.  We were going to get a divorce!  It seemed so sad but on the
other hand, we were agreeable to make it fast and uncontested.  Tammy and I
would still be living together and nothing would change as far as our love
for one another.  We would love each other but only in a different way. 
Tammy said she wanted us to remain close, as if we were sisters and made an
agreement to that fact.

   Tammy drove to the real estate office this morning and I planned to do
something I should have done months ago but was holding off.  I cleaned out
my closet of all my male clothes and put them in boxes to be taken down and
donated to a church.

   I took my female clothes and started moving everything into the other
bedroom and it took me way into the afternoon to finish.  When I was done,
Tammy's closet was half empty.  Everything that was left was her stuff
except for a pair of shoes and pants that belonged to Mark.

   Tammy cried when she returned home and saw what I had done.  Our trip to
the attorneys office went smooth that evening and we had dinner afterward.

   It felt very strange sleeping in the other bedroom.  It was almost a
dead silence except a faint sound coming from Tammy's room.  Out rooms were
connected by one bathroom in between so I decided to go and see what she
was doing.

   I was shocked when I peeked around the corner and saw Tammy playing with
a vibrator.  Her eyes were closed and her legs were back against her chest
and she was giving herself pleasure with that little plastic toy.

   I had no intention of disturbing Tammy but she must have opened her eyes
for a split second and saw my reflection in the mirror and called out my
name.  I walked near the edge of the bed and she held her hand out for me
to join her.

   She didn't have to say anything as I took the vibrator out of her hand
and began where she had left off by rubbing it gently against her clitoris.
I kept up the motion for several minutes until Tammy yelled out that she
was going to cum.

   She had a wonderful orgasm and I felt happy for her and she took the
vibrator out of my hand and clicked it off.  We laid down next to each
other as she rubbed her hand over her pussy mound and just starred at me.

   She shocked me with what she said next.

   "Have you ever wondered what it would be like to make love to a man?"

   I swallowed hard as Tammy starred into my eyes and continued.

   "I was just wondering.  Have you ever wondered what it would feel like
having a pussy of your own and having a man on top of you buried deep
inside of you?"

   She was stroking my face with her fingers as she waited for an answer. I
gave it deep thought before I actually responded to her question.

   "Yes.  I have!  I remember how we use to have sex and remember how you
and Mark made love together.  It seemed so different!  For you I meant!"

   Tammy spoke freely as she replied.

   "Yes.  Having sex with Mark was much different from what we had.  I
think at first I was afraid of him being black and all but I soon found
that I got very excited thinking about having a black man inside me."

   I lay their listening as Tammy continued.



   "I felt so afraid because he is so huge and I thought he was going to
hurt me at first but than I found out how gently he was.  How such a big
powerful man could be as gentle as a puppy with me and give me so much
pleasure."

   Tammy's finger was spreading her pussy lips open as she spoke to me.

   "Jenny.  Your going to have to experience yourself what I've experienced
to know exactly what I mean.  I really feel sorry for you right now because
you're stuck between two sexes and I think you should consider going all
the way."

   I couldn't believe Tammy was saying this to me.  It was if she knew what
I was talking about with my doctor.

   "Honey.  I want you to be a happy person inside and want you to explore
the idea of having the surgery.  Don't worry.  Jenny, if you want me to
speak to your doctor with you than I will go."

   It took me a lot of courage to be able to explain to Tammy that I had
already spoken to the doctor about the change and she didn't have to go
with me.  That's when she started kissing my face in every corner and began
crying.

   Tammy's hands were all over my face and I could smell her pussy on her
fingers' and it caused me to think about Mark for a moment.

   "Has Mark given you any indication when he'll be home from Iraq?"

   "Yes.  Mark emailed me this morning that he had to stay another eight
weeks before they relieved his company and he is hoping he can come back
than!"

   I boldly rubbed my hand on Tammy's mound trying to break the intense
feelings I had about myself and tried to joke with her.

   "I bet you can't wait until he gets back here, can you?"

   "Jenny!  Don't talk like that!  Please!"

   I could see it in her eyes that she was just acting innocently toward me
and didn't want to hurt my feelings.

   I put my hand on her shoulder and pulled Tammy closer and kissed her on
the nose saying.  "I understand how you feel.  You don't have to worry
about hurting my feelings.  I've thought this out for a long time."

   For all intense purposes, I was practically another woman laying beside
Tammy and I felt that we could talk about everything.  This was the closest
that we had been in months again as we laid their talking about the
procedures of that type of operation and all the risks involved.

   We must have talked for a couple hours about things I discussed with my
doctor.  Before I even realized it, Tammy and I were laying right next to
each other with our legs locked together and she was touching my breasts.

   Tammy scooted down so she could touch my nipples with her tongue and
gently begin licking tiny circles around them.  It felt good having someone
stimulate me like she was doing.  We hadn't had any sex in months.

   It wasn't that I didn't want it, it was just that I felt there wasn't
any reason to because I couldn't satisfy my wife or should I say, my-soon
to be ex-wife any longer.

   She scooted herself around until she climbed above my face and before I
knew it, we were doing a sixty-nine.  Tammy was sucking me the best she
could but it didn't matter because I couldn't obtain an erection.

   Tammy's mouth felt good no matter if I could get hard.  She worked on me
as if she were licking a woman's clit.  I worked my tongue into her pussy
as she pushed herself down onto me.  The vibrator was laying on the bed
behind me so I picked it up and slowly played with it at the opening of her
pussy.

   She was rotating her hips so I turned on the tiny button making it
vibrate.  We kept this up until Tammy had an orgasm and she turned around
and gave me a huge kiss on my lips.  She put her mouth back down on my limp
penis and continued sucking me.

   She worked so hard on me that I finally was able to cum and shot a tiny
load of sperm into her mouth.  It felt so good having my wife perform this
on me again.  Once she finished, she lay back down along the side of me as
we starred into each other's eyes.

   I had something on my mind and decided to ask Tammy the question.

   "Tammy.  Do you feel like you just cheated on Mark by doing that to me?"

   Tammy smiled at me and stroked the back of my head as she replied.  "No.
Not at all!  Honey.  It's not like you're really any sort of threat to him.
You're almost a woman now and besides, we were married for a long time. 
Nothing will ever take away the special relationship we have together."

   We laid their stroking each other as I spoke to her.

   "Tammy.  What's going to happen with us when Mark returns home?  Are you
going to want me to move out of the house?"

   "Nonsense!  I don't even think of something like that?!  You're always
welcome to stay here.  I've already discussed that with Mark and we think
you should stay here with us!"

   Did Mark know about me?  Did he know that Tammy and I were married? 
Could Tammy have told him the truth about us?  That was my next question.

   "Tammy.  Did you tell Mark the truth about me?  Did you tell him the
whole story?"

   "Honey.  I had to tell Mark the truth about us!  I couldn't go on
pretending something different was happening!"

   I really didn't know how to respond at that moment.  What was he
thinking about me?  A fag?  A wimp?  How could Tammy tell him the truth
about us?

   She took her time explaining everything to me and I guess I understood
why she told him.  At least we had a better understanding of each other
after that night.  It seemed as if we reached another plateau in our lives.

   The next few weeks were good to both of us as we were told our divorce
wouldn't be dragged out for months because we were both agreeable with
everything and we weren't fighting about anything!

   Tammy got word from Mark that his time had been extended for another
month and I continued making plans for my operation.

   Tammy met with my doctor and we all discussed where it was going to take
place.  My doctor had an associate he worked with from Bangkok who was
willing to perform the surgery.  Over the next few weeks I made my plans to
go and Tammy said she would travel with me.

   I have to admit that I was extremely nervous, the whole week leading up
to flying out of the country but Tammy gave me all the support I needed.

   Our friend Jean gave all her support and offered to fly with us to
Bangkok but I told her I'd be fine.

   It seemed to go fast and before I knew it, I was waking up and saw the
sun shining in the window.  I felt sore and blankets covered my body.  I
heard voices and turned my head to see Tammy standing next to the bed
talking to a nurse.

   Everything seemed to go so fast and within two weeks, Tammy and I were
on a plane heading back to the United States.

   Tammy helped me get around the house but I got stronger with each day
and with each visit to my doctor.  He told us that my operation was a total
success and explained everything to us.  I was using a thing which
resembled Tammy's vibrator which seemed sort of funny to me.



   We laughed about it and Tammy said she would buy me my own soon.  I got
stronger and felt more comfortable with each day.

   Tammy ran into my room one morning all excited and she told me that Mark
was coming home.  I felt glad for her and we hugged and kissed.  When Tammy
walked out of the room, I felt nervous thinking about facing Mark when he
returned home.

   I thought about what would happen.  Would he move his clothes into the
house right away?  Did it really matter anymore?  I was a woman now!

   The next night, Tammy had an appointment to see her doctor the same time
as my appointment.  She didn't explain anything to me until we were at the
drug store filling our prescriptions when I saw the pharmacist put a packet
of birth control pills into the little bag at the counter.

   Tammy and I were driving back home when I asked her about them and she
told me she was preparing for Mark for when he returned home.  I never
really gave it any thought until she told me.  I felt stupid!

   It was only six days before Mark was returning home and Tammy was
already making arrangements in the bedroom for him.  He had mailed the keys
to his apartment and she was slowly bringing his clothes to our house each
day.

   I volunteered to help Tammy on the third day and drove to Mark's old
apartment.  We were taking clothes out to the car and walked back up to his
apartment and saw a tall black man standing in the doorway.

   Tammy spoke out.  "Can I help you with something?"

   "Oh.  Hi! ...  I was looking for Mark, I thought he was back from Iraq
and was just going to say hello!"

   Tammy did all the talking but the man kept starring at me the whole
time. I just happened to be wearing a low-cut top that afternoon because it
was so hot outside.

   "No.  He'll be back in a few days but he's moving out."

   "Oh.  My name is Charley and we've been good friends since he moved in
here.  You must be the woman that he told me about!"

   "Uh.  Yes.  I'm Tammy and this is my sister, Jenny."

   Charley shook Tammy's hand than took mine and kept smiling at me.

   "Would you mind telling Mark I was here?!  Now.  Would you ladies like a
little help from me, loading that car of yours?"

   Tammy replied quickly as she said.  "Oh no!  We'll be just fine.  WE are
almost through in here.  Mark rented the apartment furnished so we only
have to get his computer out to the car."

   "Please.  Allow me to carry that heavy thing out to the car for you."

   Yes.  We told Charley to go ahead and take it out for us.  He kept
smiling at me as he carried the computer down the steps.  He wanted to know
if I was married and wanted to know if I lived with Tammy and anything else
he could find out about me.

   Tammy finally told him we had to get going but not before he asked me
for my phone number.  I looked over at Tammy wondering what I should do and
she responded for me.  Tammy started to write something on her pad and gave
it to Charley.

   "Jenny will be staying with me for a while and you can reach her there.
I'll let Mark know you were here.  Thank you for all your help."

   Tammy and I got into the car as Charley stood there smiling at me.  WE
drove off and I looked over at Tammy who was smiling as she drove.  She
turned and looked at me and said.

   "I think Charley has the hots for you!"

   I was too embarrassed to reply to Tammy's statement and turned on the
radio.  Tammy didn't say anything else about Charley as we unloaded the
car. I helped Tammy organize the closet and we put Mark's things on the
bathroom counter that he would need.

   It felt strange putting another man's things in our master bedroom. 
Maybe I should say, "A man's things."

   Later that night when I was stepping out of the shower and drying off,
Tammy walked into the bathroom and looked between my legs.  I was a
complete woman now!

   She surprised me when she walked up close to me and said.  "You know. 
There isn't anything from stopping you from having a relationship with a
man now!"

   I wrapped the towel around my head starring at her sort of funny to her
statement.  She turned around again and added.  "Charley isn't a bad
looking guy and I got an email from Mark telling all about him!  If you're
interested, I'll tell you what he said!"

   I was too stunned to reply as Tammy walked out of the bathroom.  My
wife, or the woman I was married to was trying to fix me up with a man!

   I finished drying myself off and walked into my bedroom naked and
starred into the full length mirror.  The hormones and breast augmentation
enhanced my body and the surgery put, "the icing on the cake!" I really had
a nice figure!

   Yes.  I had to admit why Charley found me attractive that afternoon and
yes, I wanted to know what Mark had to say about him.  Even though I wasn't
interested in the slightest!

   I put on my night gown and walked into the den where I found Tammy
online talking to Mark.  I gave her privacy and didn't try to read anything
they were writing but she motioned for me to come closer and I did.

   I saw the last thin she wrote to Mark, saying.  "I love you and will see
you soon!" It gave me butterflies standing their watching the woman I was
married to tell another man she loved him.

   "Oh.  Honey.  Let me go and pee really fast and I'll read to you what
Mark wrote about Charley."

   When Tammy turned to slid out of her chair, I noticed her crotch area
was wet and I knew they must have been having online sex!

   The little box was still up on the screen and I hurriedly sat down and
scrolled back and saw what they had been writing to each other.  I was
right!

   I clicked on a little button to save it for later and got up just as
Tammy came back in the room.  She sat down with a smile on her face and
looked at me saying.  "I thought you weren't interested in men?"

   I didn't say anything to that question as she opened an email from Mark
and began reading the area about Charley.

   "Charley is thirty years old and has never been married.  He is six foot
six and is built about the same size as me.  Wink.  Charley is a really
nice guy and I would recommend him to any of your girlfriends.  He has a
soft spot for white ladies' as I do!"

   Tammy turned around with a silly smile on her face saying.  "Mark said
he is hung!"

   Tammy jokingly reached out and touched my crotch and laughed as she
said. "Don't worry.  It won't break!"

   I couldn't believe she was joking about this to me.  Tammy than placed
her hand on my arm saying.  "Honey.  I know what your thinking about but
Charley would be a great candidate for you.  Your not going to remain a
virgin the rest of your life!"

   We didn't discuss anything more than evening about Charley.  We did get
a call from our attorney stating that now that I had a sex change that the
state did not recognize our marriage any longer so it was immediately being
dissolved!

   I guess to a few people that would be bad news but to us it was good
news.  The attorney mentioned that he would send us the form to fill out
and not to worry any longer.

   Tammy and I went shopping that afternoon and she bought satin sheets for
her bed.  I wanted to ask her why she never thought about satin sheets when
we were married but I let it go.  We stopped and picked up a couple bottles
of wine and than we went to Victoria Secrets where Tammy picked out a
garter belt with matching half bra and stockings.

   Our next stop was at a show sore where she picked out a pair of heels.
Than we drove across town to an adult shop and I waited in the car while
Tammy went into the little shop.  She walked out with a little bag in her
hand and a big smile.

   "I brought something for you!"

   She handed me the bag and I looked inside.  It was a black vibrator!  I
glanced over at Tammy and she laughed at me.

   "I just it might get you a little more interested in seeing Charley!"

   We stopped and had lunch than drove back home.  A little package was
waiting at the door that the UPS man had dropped off.  It was a package
from Mark.  Tammy opened it and it was a bottle of perfume.

   She tried on her garter belt and stockings and asked my opinion and I
told her she looked hot!  Tammy had a beautiful figure and her tits were
about the exact same size of mine now.  I always enjoyed playing with her
boobs.  Now they were for Mark to fondle.

   Later that evening, Tammy was taking one of her birth control pills and
after she swallowed it, she turned and said to me.

   "I guess we don't have to worry about any broken condoms anymore.  Do
we?"

   I was very curious to know if Tammy had ever considered having children
with Mark.  She smiled at me than replied.  "Yes.  We talked about children
but not right away.  Mark wants to wait until we have room in the house for
a nursery."

   I didn't respond to that answer but I think she was referring to my room
when she mentioned a nursery.

   Tomorrow was the big day!  Mark was flying home and Tammy and I would
drive to the airport to pick him up.

   I would see him for the first time.  Face to face as a woman.  He knew
who I was and whom I had been in my past life.  I wondered what he would
say to me?  Would he even care?  I knew he couldn't wait to bed Tammy when
he got home.



   Tammy was ready!  I just wondered if I was ready!  They would be
sleeping in the room next door to me!  He would be sleeping with the woman
that was my wife.  I'd be listening to her make love to her new man.

   Yes.  I'm sure I'll hear everything.  Every little moan and every little
whimper from my wife!  What I'm I saying here!  She's not my wife any
longer!  I'm not even a man anymore!








   
