
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Author:     Kyros
Title:      I See Dying People
Part:       4 of 6
Universe:   Seer
Summary:    Melissa comes to Moon River. She is trying to come to terms 
			with a dark past, but more than one person seems to have 
			other ideas. Finally she realizes she might have to do more 
			than just go to college to survive.
Keywords:   mf, ff, g-solo, MF, magic, mc, nc, rape
Email:      kyros@hoakz.com
Asstr:      http://www.asstr.org/~kyros
SOL:        http://storiesonline.net/auth/Kyros
Disclaimer: http://hoakz.hopto.org:8080/kyros/wiki/Disclaimer

Keywords and Summary covers all six parts.
------------------------------------------------------------------------


Part 4

Carl Linnaeus Hall was a large auditorium that could probably house
little over three hundred people at once.  This was the place were
Melissa's first real lesson was held.  She had almost forgotten the
beautiful, dark stranger from breakfast, but when she walked along the
seats of the lecture hall toward the front of the auditorium -- she
liked to be close to the lecturer -- she got a firm reminder of her.

She was sitting just and few seats away from where Melissa was standing.
 She wasn't looking at Melissa right then and for a brief moment Melissa
hesitated about whether to follow her usual procedure and take a seat
further down or to sit down beside the other woman.

Just as Melissa had determined to continue down the staircase towards
the front, not talking to the other woman, the lecturer cleared her
throat and looked up at the audience.  She had a microphone attached to
her shirt chest.

"Welcome to psychology 101," she said with a clear voice.

Melissa swallowed a curse and sunk down beside the stranger.  The curse
was more for show.  If she had been able to orchestrate the event,
something very similar to this might have happened.  The stranger looked
up at her and smiled before she collected her things and placed them on
the other side of her.  Part from that her concentration was back on the
lecturer and Melissa followed her example.

"I'm Elisa Stonehill, and this course is worth three credits.  The
subject is 'Introductory Psychology,' meaning an introduction to the
facts, principles, and concepts basic to understanding human behavior. 
To this comes a brief historical overview of psychological sciences.

"Before I go in to that, however, I'd like you all to meet my assistants
Gail and Les."

Melissa saw a blond female and a dark haired male student getting up
from the first row and turning towards the auditorium.  They both seemed
a bit nonplussed but they managed to smile through the lecturer's
presentation.  Once she was done, they sat down again with relief.

Melissa assumed they weren't there for their performance skills even
though she liked to believe someone that studied psychology should be at
least a little bit of a people person.  ''That's one misconception
already blown to pieces,'' she thought and glanced at the woman beside
her.

When Melissa caught the shimmer in the other woman's eyes she suddenly
felt a cold chill along her spine.  Her eyes were deep, dark and Melissa
thought she could read doom and destruction in them.  Where was she
looking?  It seemed at the lecturer but when Melissa looked closer she
realized her eyes were drilling holes in the back of one of the TA's,
Gail.

''Maybe they have some kind of conflict going,'' Melissa decided.

In the pause she tried to catch the other woman's attention but she was
staring at the TA again.  Melissa followed her gaze and realized the
woman was quite cute.  She glanced again and decided she was probably
more than just cute.

What if she's interested in her?

Another glance at the stranger's eyes verified this was not interest. 
That extra glance also revealed Melissa's interest in her neighbor and
suddenly the dark eyes were turned at her.  They were not friendly but
the laser sharpness they've had when they were directed at the blond TA
was gone.

"Yes?" Melissa's neighbor said.  "Did you want something?"

"Hi," Melissa smiled and reached out her hand.  "I'm Melissa."

"I'm Dawn."

"You don't remember me, do you?"

Melissa was very proud of the conspirational tone her voice were having
and when the other woman's eyes widened slightly she couldn't keep from
smiling.  "You were drunk and it was late but..."  ''Shit what am I
doing?'' "...the guy was cute..."

Dawn let out a short pearly laugh before she shook her head.  "I'm very
sure I'd remember that.  So where did we meet?"

"Last night, it was raining and you were wet like a drowned rat."

"Oh, yeah that's right.  You were the blond with the umbrella?"

"Right," Melissa smiled and omitted adding, ''the blond you were
checking out as you passed.''  She had already decided one step at a
time would be best here.  After all, this wasn't New York.  "We should
have coffee some time."

"Yeah?"

"Yes, I'd like to pick your brain, maybe if you're better than me on
psychology I'll steal your knowledge and get higher grades than you."

"Is that a challenge?"

Melissa smiled.  "I need to get a cup of coffee before the break is
over."

Dawn nodded but she didn't get up to tag along.  ''Good, Melissa
thought.  No one likes people following you around with the big-eyed
puppy look on their faces.''

-----

After the lecture was over Dawn approached Melissa.  "Hey," she said. 
"Are you having lunch now?"

"Yes," Melissa replied.  "I am."

"Well since we both are, maybe we should have it together?"

Melissa shook her head at that.  "I'm not free for lunch," she said.

"Oh," Dawn said and Melissa felt a tingle at the disappointed look,
however momentary, on her face.  "Maybe some other day."

"Unless you want to join us?"

"Oh, I'd rather not be the third wheel under the cart," Dawn said.  "But
we have lectures tomorrow, right?"

"We do.  And I'm just having lunch with my roommate and her friends. 
I'm sure there is an extra chair."

"I don't want to force myself on you."

"Okay," Melissa said with a grin.  "You can always sit at the next table
and if there is anything I want to ask you I can lean over.  However,
that will probably seem even more awkward than just introducing yourself
and sitting by our table.  After all we're gonna be in the same room,
right?"

"You win," laughed Dawn.

Five minutes later they were entering the cafeteria and Melissa quickly
located her roommate and her friends.

"Hey," she said.  "This is Dawn."  When she saw Alexandra's slight frown
at the introduction of the other woman Melissa knew she had done the
right thing to bring Dawn with her.  ''Jealous?'' she thought and smiled
at Alexandra.  Her roommate was jealous that Melissa introduced
strangers, female strangers.  ''Interesting!''

"So," the girl with the dolls face and blond locks said -- Melissa tried
to remember her name; Jessie?  ''Susie?  Not Susie that's the twin from
the dorm.  Or was her name Susan?  Jo... something.''

"Are you going?" she continued.

"Going?" Melissa asked as she placed her tray on the table.  Alexandra
gave the girl a not-too-friendly look.

"To the Back to Campus party," Philip said.  Melissa was actually
startled he had raised his head from his customary book.  "Jolene is
paining all of us about going there, finally I think we'll have to
succumb to her never ending whines."

"Go back to your book," Jolene grunted and slapped him on the arm.  "I'm
not asking you to come."

"That's because you think that would be the best way to make me come."

Jolene opened her mouth when she realized where the introduction of
'come,' would end the conversation.  She could see in Philip's eyes that
he wouldn't hesitate taking it there.  She frowned at him.

"So, are you going?" she said to Melissa instead.

"You guys are?"

They nodded.

"Sure."

"Good," Philip said and looked straight at Dawn.  "In case you missed
that before I'm Philip," he held out his hand.  "And I think you should
come too."

Alexandra and Jolene shared a glance.

"I'm not sure," said Dawn.  "When is it?"

"Eight to..." Jolene begun but Philip interrupted her.

"Sometime after eight to early morning, unless you're invited to a
follow-up party.  There are usually lots of those.  We have a tradition
of not sleeping at all after these parties."

"And how would you know?" Alexandra said with a mock snort.  "You're a
freshman."

"I have a brother," Philip replied.

"Oh," Melissa said, "I figured you were both sophomores?"

"Nope," Jolene said with a wide grin, "one day when Philip is extra
obnoxious..."

"I'm never obnoxious," Philip protested.  No one listened.

"...I'll tell you how Alexandra and Philip became friends."

Philip moaned at that and Jolene's smile became even wider.

"How did you become friends?" Melissa asked.

Alexandra gave Philip an amused glance.  He raised his hands and shook
his head.  "Not the least obnoxious."

"It would be an unfriendly thing to do," Alexandra said apologetically.

"And you're always so friendly," Philip said.

"I'm tempted to tell her," Alexandra warned him.

"Oh, what the hell," Philip mumbled.  "Alexandra saved me from getting
my ass kicked by some kids two grades above me when I was in first
grade."

"See," Jolene said.  "That wasn't so hard."

"It was a long time ago," Philip shrugged.

"I'm still saving your ass from time to time."

"You wish."

"Just last week when..."

"I could spank ''your'' ass," Philip warned.

Alexandra and Jolene shared a glance before they both broke into
giggles.  Dawn watched with an amused smile.

"You understand why I can't survive lunch without these people?" Melissa
asked.

Philip looked at her and smiled but he kept silent.

"I can understand," Dawn nodded.

Jolene and Alexandra had managed to recover from their giggles now and
there was a silent moment around the table.  Melissa turned to Dawn and
opened her mouth but Philip spoke before she could.

"So?" he asked Dawn.  "Are you coming?"

"If Melissa are," Dawn said.

Melissa raised an eyebrow at that but when the attention turned to her
she simply nodded.  "Sure, it sounds like fun."  She looked down at her
watch and suddenly got a feeling she had forgotten something.  ''A
quarter to one, why...  The psychiatrist!''  "Shit," she said and got on
her feet, "I... need to be someplace.  See you guys later!"

-----

Konrad van Alten's office was located about five minutes off campus on
West Avenue at Station Street, and it took Melissa only a couple of
additional minutes to locate the exact door in the office building.  The
receptionist, Mrs. Lamprue, told her to sit down and wait.

The waiting room was a virtual shock of colors.  The walls had several
framed posters of Modigliani paintings.  The sofa group was dressed in a
fabric with a pattern of several bright colors, not inappropriately
bright, but lots of colors.  Even the magazines on top of the sofa table
added to the color onslaught.

There were flowers in pots mounted on the walls and in the windows. 
There were even more flowers on the receptionist's table and three
smaller trees in pots on the floor.

Melissa was playing with the thought of starting the conversation with
"Watson I presume," but once she stepped into the actual office the
atmosphere was less floral and much more like a library.  This room had
two large shelves full of books and a large desk covered in heaps of
papers and almost hidden behind the papers were Dr. van Alten himself. 
He didn't seem to notice Melissa, however and she had to clear her
throat and knock on the already open door before he raised his gaze,
squinted at her and picked up his glasses.

"Yes, miss Newick?"

"That's me," Melissa nodded.

"Come on in," he waved and got on his feet; he was tall, over six feet,
and thin.  "Why don't you take a seat here," he motioned at a chair in
front of a smaller table at the side of the desk while he closed the
door behind Melissa.

"No divan?" she joked.

"What?  No, no I'm not using one.  It will be perfectly alright if you
sit in a chair, and we do not have to concentrate on your childhood if
you don't feel that it is very important we do."

"I'm actually studying psychology," she said and sat down.

"I see, is it your major?"

"Yes."

"Maybe I'm the one who should beware of you?" he said and sunk down in a
chair opposite to her.  He reached for a folder and a pencil on his
desk.

"No, I've just started the introductory course, I'll be nice and let you
do all the analysis."

"Ahh, well I'm more in favor of acting than analyzing," he said and
scribbled something on a sheet in the folder.  "Don't you too prefer to
get things done instead of just talking about doing things?"

"I guess..." she blushed and lowered her eyes.  ''What is he really
talking about?''

"So," Konrad continued.  "I've been in contact with your mother, and
I've read your journal.  Your doctor at South Oaks recommended that you
and I meet once a week and I agree with him."

"Okay," Melissa mumbled not entirely sure she was happy with the
direction the conversation was taking.  ''Once a week!''

"So, how's college working out so far?"

Melissa blushed at that.  "You mean if I'm having any problems?"

"Are you?"

"No," she said.

"But?"

Somehow Dr. van Alten seemed able to sense something was still up.

"Well, you know college, it's like that until you get the hang of
things."

"Like what?"

Melissa hid a smile at that.  Dr. van Alten was a psychologist all
right, no fuzzy statements or they, at least Dr. Fearne and apparently
Dr. van Alten too, would come after you for the specifics.

"It is hard, new people, a new way to teach, not at home, higher tempo. 
I think the ordinary college challenges."

"I see.  Tell me more about you," Konrad continued and placed the folder
back on his desk.  His change of subject was so abrupt Melissa was
silent several seconds before she even caught up.

"You mean my problems?" she asked uneasily.

"If you want to tell me about them, then go ahead," Konrad said and
picked up an orange from the fruit bowl at the middle of the table. 
"Help yourself," he nodded when Melissa looked at the fruit in his hand.

"No I'm okay, I just had lunch."  Melissa took several seconds to
collect her thoughts before she continued.  "I guess you know most of it
already?"

"I'd like for you to tell me with your own words."

"Okay.  I fell in with the wrong crowd and stopped thinking."

There was a long moment of silence.

"Yes?"

"Well... and..." Melissa took a deep breath.  "I started messing
around... with drugs..."

"Messing around?  How do you mean specifically?"

Melissa blushed and looked down.  "I started using drugs."  The words
hung in the air for several seconds.

"Go on," Konrad encouraged her.

"It started with just grass... and before long the hash evolved into
heavier stuff."

"Stuff?"

"Drugs."

"When you say the hash evolved...?"

"I mean... I started... using heavier drugs and I stopped using hash."

"What drugs specifically?"

"Cocaine... and roofies... Rohypnol..."

"Do you know why?"

"No."

Melissa was silently looking down at her hands.  She noticed her
fingernails needed polishing.  She wanted Konrad to ask her something,
giving her the chance to change the direction of the conversation, but
he was silently peeling his orange not even looking at her.  Was he
listening at all?

"I heard voices."

She was silent again.

"So the cocaine made the voices go away?"

"No," Melissa mumbled.  "It made me not care about them."

"How do you mean?"

"Have you ever tried cocaine?"

"No."

"Okay.  I just felt too good and too strong to care or be bothered by
their shit."

"The voices?"

"Yes."

"Okay, go on."

"Oh... well... I went to a club with... my friends and we did some E."

"E?"

"Ecstasy.  And afterwards we did ... roofies, they called them, and
poppers."

"Poppers would be..." he reached for her folder and flipped it open,
"Alkyl nitrites on bottle?"

"I guess, something in a bottle alright."

"Okay, go on."

Melissa took a deep breath.  "Then... I went to hell..."

"That would be the overdose?"

"Yes.  I OD-ed."  She frowned at her own words.  ''I sound like a
junkie.  I am a junkie.''

"Tell me about that."

"Okay."  Another deep breathe.  "I was... raped..."

"But not for real?"

"Not for real.  In... well a hallucination, maybe?"

"You had a hallucination, and in it you were raped... there were no
traces of any violence afterwards?"

"No.  Apparently I'd managed to scream rape when I woke up and they
examined me.  When they tried to make me blame Traci and Rita, that's
the friends that took me home, I told them about the visions."

"Do you still have those visions?"

Melissa was silent.  She felt her heart stop in her chest, and still her
blood, cold as ice kept flowing through her veins.  She felt like she
was suddenly suspended in mid-air ten stories above the ground.

"No," her voice croaked.

He looked at her for a long while and she didn't let his stare-tactic
fool her this time.  ''Shut up!  Shut up!'' she screamed silently.

"That's too bad," he said and leaned back.

"Not if I want to stay sane," Melissa replied.

"Well, I seriously doubt a vision, or even voices, can make you insane,
unless you choose to be insane from them, and then... if you choose to
be insane... anything from your neighbors dog to the most recent speech
from the president can drive you insane.  It sounds cruel but life is
all about how we choose to see the world."

"Well," Melissa frowned.  "I didn't have much choice once the voices
started talking to me."

"Choice in what?"

"Well I couldn't shut them out."

"And you knew shutting them out was the right way to go?"

"What else could I've done?"

"That is a very good question.  What else could you have done?"

"I wanted them to stop, and in the end, not even coke and roofies could
do that.  I guess I could have... I don't know... I have no clue what
else to do...  I mean, as long as they were civil, I could handle it,
but when... I had the rape vision... there was nothing I could do, and
believe me I wanted to."

"Maybe all you were lacking was knowledge and guidance?  There are such
things as psychic attacks where someone... or something, tries to take
you over.  We sometimes call it mental illness but people has not always
thought of the phenomenon as such."

Melissa was aghast.  "What do you want me to do?  Have a shaman dance a
rain dance for me?"

Konrad chuckled at that.  "Oh, the mind is an intricate thing, not at
all bound to the laws we creatures of the industrial era wishes to bind
it with.  If you really do believe a rain dance will solve your
problems, it will."

"But drugs didn't solve my problems."

"Maybe drugs didn't solve your problems because they were drugs?"

"How do you mean?"

"Tell me your first uncensored association to the word drugs."

"Sedatives, something to bind... hold the mind down with?"

"Do you think your mind wants to be sedated?  Bound?"

"No," Melissa shrugged.  She remembered all to well how it felt to be
restrained.

"The mind wishes to solve its own problems.  If you give it the right
tools, the right symbols, it will become stronger than you can even
imagine.  But the mind is also weak.  It's like a glass of water.  One
drop of poison and the whole glass is ruined."

"What does that mean?"

"It means cohesion is everything.  Unless your whole world is cohesive
your mind will start acting up."

"So how do I get... cohesive?  What does that mean really?  Cohesion?"

"It means that the mind is holistic.  That it cannot be pure if one
corner of it is impure.  It cannot work at its full potential if one
part of it isn't in sync with the whole.  Take for instance your career.
 You wish to become a professional within psychology, right?"

"I'm not sure."

"Why not?"

"Well... I'm... I'm not sure I'm fit for the job."

"But you have a psychology major?"

"Yes.  I can always hope, right?"

"But there is one part of your mind that isn't sure you're fit for the
job.  So even if you pass and get a license, do you think that part will
go silent unless you tell it to?"

"I hope so."

"It won't.  It will always find new ways to poison your mind.  You need
to put your foot down and take control of your mind."

"But, I am my mind."

"Yes, and no.  Your mind is several entities that each wishes to be in
the center.  What entity gets priority over which decides who your are
as a person."

"So?"

"Yes?"

Melissa took several moments to think his words over.  "Insecure Melissa
should shut up?"

"Not at all.  Insecure Melissa should keep an eye out for the real
problems, and keep her hands off the imaginary ones.  Insecure Melissa
is important and she does a good job of protecting you, but she cannot
always be at the rudder."

"Okay," Melissa breathed.  "You know, Dr. Fearne doesn't say half as
much as you do."

Konrad smiled at that.  "I know.  I've been accused of taking over the
sessions before.  I'm sorry, it's just that I feel that your visions are
a gift and that you could do much better things with them that running
away from them."

"I don't have them anymore."

"Ah, yes..." Konrad stopped in his tracks for a moment before he
continued, "but you are afraid that they will come back, right?"

"Yes."

"So, what better way than preparing?"

"Shouldn't I let sleeping dogs lie?"

"Have you ever met a sleeping dog that never woke up?"

"Um."

"And if that dog is sleeping in your back yard?"

"I better get a leash...?"

Konrad smiled at that.  "There is a book I want you to read, if you have
time, till our next session, if not, just read as much as you can."

He stood and scanned his bookshelves until he found what he was looking
for and pulled down a booklet.  He gave it to Melissa who read on the
front; ''The Supernatural Mind.''

"Mmh," she said.  "Sounds interesting."

"It is," Konrad said and sat again.  "It covers lots of different things
like clairvoyance, mind control, and telekinesis."

"What, like a how-to?"

"No," Konrad smiled.  "A brief introduction.  Stories from some people
that do those things... or claim they do.  Tell me what you think once
you've finished it."

"Do you really think these things work," Melissa asked, "I mean, for
real?"

Konrad leaned back in his chair touching his fingertips to each other's
while he looked at Melissa with a thoughtful expression.

"I think we're done for today," he finally said and got up.  "We don't
want to wear you out, do we?"

"I guess," Melissa replied.  She was acutely aware he hadn't answered
her question.

He jotted something down on a piece of paper and handed it over to her. 
"Give this to Mrs. Lamprue and she will make a new appointment for you,"
he took her hand and shook it.  "Till next time."

"Till next time," Melissa replied and started towards the door.

"And give your mom my regards," Konrad continued as he circled his desk
and sat behind it.

"I will," Melissa said and left the room.

Once she was out on the street she looked at the book Dr. van Alten had
given her again.  ''The Supernatural Mind.  My God,'' she thought. 
''Maybe there is something in here that can tell me about my visions.'' 
She opened the book and scanned the table of contents.  "Jesus!" she
mumbled.  ''Mind reading, clairvoyant visions... reading psychic energy
to see the past...''  She slapped the book shut and hid it in her bag. 
''This stuff is outrageous, or maybe Alexandra will think it's cool?''

-----

She had forced them to leave their old apartment, she had forced them to
kill where they could have just fed, if they had been allowed to do that
for several days, and now it seemed she would force them to move again.

Keshet was glancing through the curtains in the small apartment.  The
owner and Gail were in his bedroom making characteristic noises for when
one of her kind satisfied her hunger.  She had just seen the woman's car
passing by on the street outside their window.

When Gail was done Keshet decided she would go in there and finish her
victim off.  She had lost her appetite and they had to move again. 
Something should be done about that irritating woman.

Gail appeared in the door to the living room the grin of a properly
fucked woman on her face.  Keshet nodded and stole past her.  The man
didn't even move before she jumped up in the bed, grabbed his head and
snapped his neck.

"What the hell!" Gail cried.  "What are you doing?  There was plenty
left in him!"

"The bitch just drove past in her car."

"The bitch?"

"You've always let them fuck your brains out," Keshet said.  "Aure just
drove by in her car.  You know Aure, the bitch that wants to kill us...
badly."

"Here?"

"Yes."

"Fuck!"

"We have to relocate again," Keshet said.  "Maybe even leave town."

"We should kill that bitch!"

"That is a good plan."

"Listen," Gail said and raised her hands.  "If you want to go all wild
and die from it, go ahead but let me leave town first."

"We're not going to confront her and we're not going to run."

"Then what?"

"We're making a phone call."