Cold Rain

Road Warrior: Barcelona

by Jake Rivers ©

Author’s Note:

This is the first is a series of stories of those fabled peoplethat travel constantly on their jobs, the Road Warriors. Each story is unique, with differentcharacters, locales and plots. Iwill consider opening this series up to other authors on request.

An explanatory note: in much of the story the dialog mostlytakes place in Spanish. I haveattempted to make the English of some of the speakers have the rhythm and wordsof a person fluent in English, but not necessarily colloquial. So in places it looks like there aregrammatical errors but to my ear (fading fast though it is) it represents a lotof what I hear in an extended multicultural family. Mea culpa, please don’t shoot me!

Maybe some day I’ll be brave enough to try a story in Spanish.

Thanks asalways to Techsan for his great editing talents and LadyCibelle for her ongoingsupport.

Enjoy!

CASTLE ROCK,COLORADO

The sticky notewas on the outside of one of those disposable file folders you can get forpractically nothing at Wal-Mart. We both traveled so much that we might go weeks at a time without seeingeach other. I was Charles Castillo– yeah, I know, I was getting tired of the Mr. Castle living in CastleRock jokes – but everyone universally called me Charlie. My wife was Candy … that almost kept usfrom getting married; she was afraid everyone was going to call her CandyCastle of Castle Rock.

We had workedout that whichever one of us came by the house when the other was gone wouldtake care of the mail: dump the junk, pay the bills, etc. Stuff that needed personal handling wewould put in one of the folders and leave it on the hallway table. Sometimes we would include little lovenotes but lately it seemed that I was doing that a lot more than she was.

Charlie,

Please look atthe large manila envelope as soon as possible. There is a letter from me explaining everything and somepapers that need to be signed and mailed in the enclosed prepaid envelope.

Candy

Damn! She used to always sign at least ‘Love , Candy’ if notsomething friskier, depending on her mood. Lately it had just been, ‘Candy.’ I looked in the large folder and saw the envelope. It was sealed so I put off looking atit for a while. It was alreadydark and I’d just gotten home from Mexico City. While I was at the airport waiting for my luggage I got acall from one of the senior partners at the law firm I worked at telling me ofan emergency in Barcelona and I need to be there soonest .

I figured I’dgrab a shower and send out for a pizza. I was mostly sent to Spanish speaking countries, so sometimes nothing inthe world sounded better than a pizza and a couple of beers. I wasn’t going to have time to look atthe stuff Candy left me until I got on the plane. United had a flight that left Denver at seven a.m. throughPhiladelphia and then an overnighter to Barcelona getting there at seven thenext morning. I started thinkingwhat time I would have to get up to catch the early morning flight and feltsleepy already.

I called in theorder for a small supreme and figured the thirty minutes they told me fordelivery would be more like forty-five. I took a shower and finished my first beer before the delivery guyshowed up. I took my time with thepizza and repacked my clothes. Idid this so much that I had enough extra of everything so that I could do aquick turnaround if I had to and not worry about washing clothes. I figured I’d get five or six hours ofsleep if I were lucky.

I lay there inthe dark after I went to bed trying to relax. I just had a general outline of the problem so there wasn’tmuch I could do until I got to the hotel. When I went to Barcelona they always put me up at the Grand MarinaHotel. It was right next to atrade center and convention center and on the waterfront.

The meeting Iwould be in would be at a conference room at the trade center. The hotel was the closest one tothe cruise terminal so there was always an eclectic group of people around thehotel: passengers going to or returning from cruises, trade conventions, groupsfor meetings. There were peoplefrom all over the world at the hotel which made it a fascinating place.

As I driftedoff I wondered what was so important in that manila envelope … it couldn’t havebeen more important than pizza and beer.

I slept betterthan expected and check-in for business class was a whiz. I really didn’t feel like lookingthrough the folder in the mail; I left it in my briefcase in the overhead rack. I usually sat by the aisle but therewas no one next to me so I moved over to the window. As I looked at the ground moving steadily below I musedabout how I’d gotten into this business.

My mom and dadwere from Perú and dad had come to Colorado to attend school at the ColoradoSchool of Mines in Golden. Heliked the teaching environment and stayed on as a professor and did a lot ofresearch. After he graduated, hehad gone back to Lima and married his long time sweetheart. They were the most compatible coupleI’d ever seen.

Both of themhad always spoken Spanish to me and I had spent every summer in Perú with oneor another relative, so I spoke Spanish like a native, even though I’d beenborn in the US. I had consistentlybeen a good scholar athlete. Thegrades came easy to me. The fasttimes less so but still, I was all state in cross-country, and in track in themile and half-mile.

That got me afree ride at Stanford where I did a double major in Spanish and InternationalRelations. On the advice of myfaculty advisor I went on to The Fisher Graduate School of InternationalBusiness at the Monterrey Institute of International Studies. I did a double specialization in InternationalNegotiation/Conflict Resolution and Translation and Interpretation with a minorin Portuguese.

What I wasinterested in – and this came from a paper I’d done at Stanford –was International Conflict Resolution. I found the topic fascinating and spent a lot of timedrinking beer with students from all around the world. We would argue until no one had moneyleft for beer and resume a couple of days later. It was fun and I learned a lot – I was motivated so Isoaked it up like a sponge.

I met Candy acouple of months before I was to graduate. I wound up two courses short to graduate in the spring aftertwo years so I had to stay for the summer. I was playing golf at the course at Pacific Grove. Their fourth hole was 259 yards fromthe white tees. I could hit theball pretty good but I was inconsistent as hell. I’d never come within thirty yards of the green even withthe wind. This time I was hittinginto a light breeze but somehow everything went just right and I reallyhammered one.

It hit right atthe edge of the green, took one bounce and hit the blonde leaning over sightingher putt in exactly the right place for her to get to her maximum level ofbeing pissed off very quickly. Hershorts were stretched tight as she bent over and the ball bounced off her buttlike it was coming off a trampoline! I remember thinking, “Damn, that had to sting!” I ran up to see if she was hurt. I was dazzled by her beauty and was asclose to speechless as I’ve ever been.

She was quiteshort, maybe five-one, with a round, firm body. I figured she was carrying about ten pounds more than idealfor her, but she looked sexy as hell. I stood there staring at her while she ranted and raved at what an idiotI was. This went on for a coupleof minutes before she finally figured out I wasn’t listening … I was admiring . Her feminine instincts took over andshe gave me a smile that would have done Marilyn Monroe proud.

“I’m CandyAllard. Where are you taking me todinner?”

I finally wokeup and quickly suggested a fine Hungarian place in Carmel. She was in a twosome with a girl friendof hers and I was playing was a friend that was a good professor but a dufferat golf, so we made it a foursome and finished the best of friends. Later that night she showed me herbruise – it was nasty – and she made me rub it. I did a really good job!

She had justfinished her law degree at Santa Clara and was taking a cram course in Carmelto prepare for the bar exam. Herspecialty, of course, was International Law. Six months later we were married and she was working with alaw firm in Denver that did a lot of legal work in petroleum exploration in allthe appropriate places around the world.

I took a jobwith a New York firm doing Conflict Resolution. Most of my work was in Spanish speaking countries, mostlySpain and South America. Inaddition to actually helping resolve disputes I would sometimes do training tohelp companies - or once in Madrid a union and a government organization - towork together to resolve conflicts.

With all thetravel I did I could live anywhere. When I hired on they actually wanted me to live in Madrid; that, ofcourse, was a non-starter with my new wife, Candy. Not to mention the bonus of being able to see my parentsanytime I wanted.

I changedplanes in Philadelphia and fell asleep quickly on the overnight leg toBarcelona. When I gotchecked in at the hotel I was rested and wide awake so I picked up the faxesand after a light breakfast I prepared for the two days of meetings the nextday. As I was putting the materialback in my briefcase I saw the folder that Candy had left me.

I figured I’dbetter get to it so I went down by the pool. I figured I might as well enjoy myself. It was such a lovely day I ordered aglass of cava, a sparkling wine, from one of the local producers.

As I took theglass from the waiter a woman was getting out of the pool and she immediatelycaptured my attention. She had ona bikini – not much material as was the European style, and as she pulledherself up the weight of the water made the top part of her suit sag. I could see her breasts, not large butcertainly enough for most men, with the nipples erect over the dark pinkareolas.

She looked upand saw where I was staring and gave me a megawatt smile as she climbed on outof the pool. She walked over to anearby lounge under an umbrella. Iwas always amazed at the more relaxed view women in Europe - especially in theMediterranean countries – have about showing their bodies. I guess this woman took my interest asa compliment.

She wasn’t whatI would call pretty; she had a handsome face with strong bone structure, longdark red hair and a body that was close to being all I could ask for –not that I was asking! Her breastswere slightly small and her hips were slightly wide. But somehow the overall package exuded sex appeal. She was the woman that once seen led toerotic dreams for a lifetime. I nodded to myself: the man that wins her (I’d seen no rings) was betteroff than if he’d won the lottery.

I shook my headas the woman lay down because she folded her swimsuit bra down to get the sun,barely showing her still erect nipple. Focus, Charlie!

I sipped theslightly sweet cava as I looked through all the stuff in the folder Candy hadleft me, saving the manila folder for last. I was, finally, getting curious about it. Mostly it was routine: a letter from mytax guy about IRS questions about my expenses, a bonus check for a good resultin Santiago, Chile, and several letters from my investment broker. I took out the envelope and slid myfinger under the edge to open it up. There was something from our lawyers and a letter from Candy.

I figured I’dbetter read the letter first to see what it was all about.

DearCharlie,

I’m surethis is no surprise to you, as we almost never see each other. I wasn’t looking for it but over thelast few visits to London I’ve fallen in love with one of the lawyers there.

At this point Idropped my cava with pieces of glass shards flying everywhere. The well-trained staff immediatelycleaned it up and brought me a new glass. The woman with the long dark red hair and the perky nipples looked overat me with at first curiosity, then concern, as she slowly unwound her longlegs from the lounge and walked over to me.

She asked me inSpanish (all of our subsequent conversations were in Spanish), “Are you okay?”

I mumbled,stuttered, “My wife, she … oh, shit!” I took the new glass of cava and downed it like it was the cheapest rye.

She looked atme in a sad way - I think she kind of figured it out. It was only after the left, giving me one of thoselingering, curious but non-intrusive looks that women seem to know how to dofrom birth. Maybe it wassome atavistic instinct having to do with survival of the species. It wasn’t until she had walked awaythat it dawned on me that her accent was not from Spain, but from Chile.

I waggled myempty glass and started reading again.

I don’t seeany problems. I’m moving to Londonright away; the transfer is already approved. I never liked Denver … it was just too provincial for me. Except for me you would have beenworking out of Madrid anyway. Iguess you will miss your parents, but – well, I don’t know what to say.

I didn’texactly fall out of love with you; it’s that we were apart so much that youwere no longer a habit. Pleasesign the papers as soon as possible since Llewellyn and I want to get marriedat Christmas. You remember him,don’t you? We met him last yearwhen he was in town for a meeting.

Yeah, Iremembered him. Damn, I thought hewas gay!

Do be a dearand don’t ruffle any feathers. Imean, Charlie, what good is it to be civilized if we don’t act that way.

I felt veryuncivilized right then.

Please dotake care of the money things. Llewellyn is such a darling and his family hasso much money that there is no rush for you to clean up the details, but, dearCharlie, we do need to keep things tidy, don’t we?

I’m sorry todo it this way but we just never seemed to see each other. Do take care of yourself, dear.

Candy

Why, thatbitch! Why, that goddamned bitch! I didn’t know which I was more of,pissed off or supremely embarrassed. I grabbed my stuff and headed to my room. As I passed the woman, as I was nowthinking of her, she gave me such a serious look that I could swear she hadread the letter.

I got to theroom and threw the folder full of shit against the wall and picked up the phoneto order a bottle of fine Spanish brandy. I looked in the mirror and shook my head. No, that was the easy route - I wasn’t going to gothat way. Instead I took a smallbottle of Lustau Amontillado from the mini-bar and poured it in a glass …slowly sipping it, enjoying the nutty character as my frustration made me feellike hitting something – or someone.

There was noone to yell at. No one to hit upthe side of the head. No one toexplain what the hell had happened. I didn’t even know what country Candy was in. We both had international cell phones that operated inEurope, Asia, Africa and the Pacific Rim including Australia, plus with theadded GSM 1900 frequency, the United States, Canada and a growing part of SouthAmerica.

I called hercell and to my amazement it rang and she immediately answered it.

“Candy, it thatyou?”

“Charlie! I was hoping to talk to you. You were a dear and signed the papers,didn’t you?”

“Uh, well,no. I had to immediately come toBarcelona. I’ve just had a chanceto read your letter. I haven’t hada chance to look at the papers as yet.”

“Oh, Charlie,you have to sign them. It isjust so important. Llewellyn’s family is crazy ready for the wedding. His dad is the sweetest man … he is anEarl or Duke or one of those things. I can’t keep it straight, but he seems totally important andeveryone calls him sir!”

I held thephone away from me, giving it a strange look. Had this small piece of plastic and its embedded electronicssomehow captured the brilliant lawyer I’d married not so long ago and made heran airhead Valley Girl? Maybe Llewellyn was gay! I couldn’t see how that could really help, but the thoughtmade me feel better.

“Unh, Candy,look, I gotta go. A meeting. Look, I’ll read the papers and seewhat’s going on.”

“Oh, Charlie,you are so sweet. Thanks, ever somuch. Toodle-oo.”

‘Toodle-oo?’ Who the hell was that? Damn, maybe she was gay too?

I took ashower, shaved, and just for the hell of it, took another shower. I felt depressed … depressed and wetand as red as a lobster.

I went down tothe restaurant, the Aire de Mar, which was as highly rated as the hotelwas. The maitre d’ knew me welland led me back to a quiet corner. As we approached the table I usually sat at, a woman with long dark redhair, the woman , stood up.

“Señor, pleasesit with me.”

The maitre d’looked at me and I shrugged, so he pulled out the chair for me.

The woman gave me agenerous smile that turned her somewhat plain face into something enchanting.

I smiled back,“I have something to confess, Señorita - not knowing your name I have come tothink of you as the woman . I am Charlie Castillo and I can’t just call you that. May I have the pleasure of knowing yourname?”

“Of course …Charlie? I’m Ana Gálvez but pleasecall me Ana.”

“Ana, I have tosay that you have the loveliest,” here I paused and glanced helplessly at herlow cut dress that showed more than enough of the cleavage of her breastsdelicately hidden behind the décolletage of her dress to keep me interested,“the loveliest hair that I can ever remember seeing.”

She blushed,faintly – she was after all a woman of the world – but in a mannerthat made her immediately endearing to me.

I continued,“That dark red color, the color of the tiles at Montserrat, aged by the sun andwind over the centuries. That color makes the light green of the new pasturesin Ireland each spring captured in your eyes look even more lovely.”

I was in thisstrange mood of despair and freedom - from what? - mixed together with the sudden appearance of this charmingwoman. The hell with Candy! I was going to flirt with this woman,Ana. I felt a release … almostlike a drug taking effect and making me as open and easy with this woman as Ihad ever been with any I’d ever met. I was playing a part and I would play it to the hilt.

“Your Spanish,Charlie, I can’t place it. Whereare you from, Charlie?”

I rapidlyanswered in Castilian Spanish, then the noticeably different Argentine accent,and quickly finishing in the Peruvian Limeño and of the barrio inSantiago. “I’m here tonight tobring a smile to an expatriate woman from Santiago.”

“You … you’renot from Chile, no?”

“No,” Ilaughed. “My parents are fromLima, I was born in Colorado, but I have an ear for language, for the nuancesof place, for the talk of the people.

“I have spokenSpanish all my life but I have also trained hard at it as both a translator andas an interpreter. My friends fromcollege were from most of the Spanish speaking countries. I have, many times, been to Santiago onbusiness.” Looking at her fingers,still no rings to see - not even white lines showing on her well tanned ringfinger - I continued, “And I have to say, Señorita, that the loveliest of allwomen are from Chile.”

She laughed,then responded, “And how much Irish do you have in you … you seem to have morethan your fair share of blarney.”

I smiled atthat, and then she continued, in a more serious mien.

“Charlie, I … Icouldn’t help but notice this afternoon when you dropped the glass. You were fine, flirting with me likeyou should, then … you changed. What happened, Charlie?”

It was like shehad dumped a pitcher of ice water over me. The false gaiety one sometimes assumes in the face ofperceived danger was gone as fast as the betting stub of a favored horsefinishing ten lengths behind the field. I stood up too suddenly, knocking my chair over backward with aresounding crash, and with a murmured ‘excuse me’ made my way unsteadily to therestroom.

I felt thesudden need to heave my guts out, but couldn’t. I looked in the mirror and was shocked at the pasty gray ofmy face, the sweat on my forehead looking greasy. I bend down and took several deep breaths, feeling on theverge of passing out. I washed myface for long moments in the cold water, over and over, scrubbing … something away. Trying to scrub it away –whatever it was.

I realized Iwas in shock and knew I had to go lie down. I made it, stumbled but made it, back to the table with thelovely woman , sitting, now rising, as I approached.

I said in astiff, formal Spanish, “Please, Señorita Ana, please excuse me.”

I walked,shuffled away, and turned back at the last moment to see her standing there,looking more than anything like she was crying.

I made it to myroom and fell on the bed – passing out as much as anything else. In the middle of the night I struggledout of my clothes, fighting with the shoes, and falling quickly, at once intothe nothingness of oblivion.

TRANSITIONS

The phone wasringing, calling me, ordering me to wake up. I came up from the depths of hell and nightmares to sit onthe side of the bed and looked at the phone for an unknowing moment, thenpicked it up. An unplannedbreakfast meeting … urgent, at once. Someone else will cover your other meetings – leave the faxes atthe front desk. I rushed,showered, cut myself shaving, dressed and went down to meet with the client.

I clamped downon my personal problems and had a smile (grimace?) on my face as I walked tothe table of Señor Benavidez. Itwas a catharsis to quickly fall into the known, the routines of business, oflife … of the living. I put Candyin some corner of my mind and focused on real things.

The clientworked for Royal Cruise Lines and was responsible for hiring contract workersto keep up with turnover. Itseemed that there had been some unpleasant advances made on women of variousages by persons furnished from the companies with which he worked. That there were problems was readilyapparent from the grim visage of Señor Benavidez.

I listened,nodded as appropriate – this was a customer – then I wasstartled by his proposition. Hewanted me to go on the next cruise ship, in two days, from Barcelona to Miami.

“Yes, Mr.Charlie, we will give you a suite and everything taken care of.”

“Of course,Señor Castillo, the Captián knows you will be on board and will assist you inany and every way possible.”

“No, SeñorCharlie. You have only toobserve. We need the truth of thematter. You are the truth!”

“Yes, Mr.Castillo, yes, of course we know that you resolve the conflicts. We must know the truth and you tell usthe truth, verdad?”

“Of course,Señor, your company knows what we ask of you. Please, Charlie, the truth, only the truth!”

The ship, theSea Bright, owned by Royal Cruise Lines was to dock the next day plus one inthe morning and I would immediately be boarded and escorted to my suite. It was so sudden and so different thatthe shock of Candy had been overlaid by a new shock.

I was sostunned by what Señor Benavidez was saying that I just nodded and lookedwise. Truth was I had no clue whatI was supposed to do. Look for thetruth, I guess. I called New Yorkand talked to my boss.

“Damn,Charlie. I don’t know what theywant. I just know it’s importantto RCL. They are talking of lossesin the millions in bookings if they get a bad reputation and women don’t feelsafe.”

He gave a deepsigh, and continued, “Just do what you can.”

He went on totell me that Candy had called him, checking on something or other. “Charlie, don’t worry about it. Just keep your eyes open and … well, Iwas going to say have fun, but just try to do something to distract yourself.”

There was along pause, then Gerald came back, “Hey, Charlie, I bet they have shuffleboardon the ship. Glenda and Ihad so much fun on our cruise to Alaska entering the shuffleboard tournaments.”

He said hisgoodbyes and I looked at the phone like it was something cursed. I really feltreassured.

After themeeting I went to my room and checked for messages. There was one, so I played it.

“Charlie, thisis Ana, the woman ,” she added with a laugh that sounded too bubbly for this early inthe day. Maybe she was drinkingbubbles – that suddenly seemed like a great idea. “If you don’t have any plans for lunch,please meet me by the pool. I’llsave a table for us, and a couple of lounges.”

I couldn’tthink of anything better to do for the rest of the day so I changed into myswimsuit and went down to the pool. True to her word she’d had one of the waiters move a table and twolounge chairs apart from everyone else. There was a bottle of wine in an ice bucket on the table and my lounge alreadyhad towels on it. Ana was layingon her front trying to spread sun lotion on her back.

She heard mewalking up and raised her head. “Charlie, you save my life!”

She handed methe bottle of tanning oil and I rubbed it on her back. She had untied the strings on her topand had only something akin to a bandana doing a less than effective job ofcovering her well tanned globes. Her skin was hot from the sun and the oil was viscous as I rubbed it upand down her back.

“Charlie, downto here please?” she murmured sleepily as she reached down to her tailbone justabove what I was now thinking as her red bandana.

I obedientlyfollowed her directions and slowly but firmly rubbed the oil from her shouldersdown to her buttocks, making sure I got the sides too. I smiled to myself. No job too tough for Charlie! I was waiting for her to say that wasenough. Finally I looked aroundand saw that she was sound asleep. I started tapering off but I just knew that she would have wanted me toget under the edges of her bikini bottom.

I went to therest room to wash my hands and came back and swam a few quick laps. I sat on my lounge with the back up soI could look around. Ana hadturned a little and I could see the side of her breast with a hint of pinknipple showing. I felt like avoyeur as I frankly admired her almost bare form. For the first time the idle thought came to me, “Candy who?”

After twentyminutes or so Ana woke up and did that – amazing to me – femininetrick of tying the back of the bikini top without lifting up. I wondered if they had a school forgirls somewhere that taught them things like that. While Ana had been sleeping a woman across the pool had puta towel over her top, removed the bra part, nursed her baby and reversed everything,all the time revealing nothing. Amazing! From her skincolor and her apparent rectitude about showing her body, I guessed she was fromthe states.

Ana jumped into cool off and came back waving for a waiter. We had a light lunch of assorted tapas washed down with thebottle of cava the waiter had opened. Ana had more than her share of the food and I had more than my share ofthe wine. Seemed fair to me. I was still in a funny mood … like Iwas out of my body watching what was going on.

After lunch wesat in the lounges idly chatting and watching people. I reached out for Ana’s hand and held it as I looked ather. “Ana, while you wereasleep I was admiring your body.”

She didn’t seemto look upset, maybe curious with where I was going with my comment. I added softly, “You have a lovelybody. I have to say you are alovely woman.” I paused for aminute looking at her, and then I rubbed my thumb gently over where a weddingring would be. “Why has no manfound out what a treasure you are?”

She looked overat me the glanced away. Quietly,almost with a whisper, she replied, “Later, over dinner.”

I felt I owedher an explanation for last night. “Ana, about what happened at dinner …”

She stopped meby standing up and pulling my hand so I stood beside her. With a slight smile, she repeated,“Later, at dinner,” and pulling my hand we both jumped in the water. We fooled around for a while, splashingwater, and she soundly beat me in an impromptu race for a length of the pool.

We got out,dried off a bit with the towels and I walked her to her room. We decided to go out for dinner to afavorite place of mine. It was outon Avenida Diagonal and a ways from the hotel so we took a taxi. It was better known as a businessmen’slunch place and usually wasn’t too crowded for dinner.

The inside wasquite nice with wooden paneled walls aged to a rich patina of dark brown. They specialized in the traditionalCastilian asados: Cochinillo and cordero (roast suckling pig and lamb). Ana had not had either in her time inSpain.

“Even though Ilike meat a lot, the seafood in Barcelona is incredible, so I’ve kind of stuckwith that.”

So I told her,“Okay, tonight is meat.”

I gave theorder to the waiter and asked for a pitcher of Sangría. For some reason I always liked thatwith either of these dishes. I’dordered one of each dish so Ana could try both of them.

My story wassimple, so while we were waiting for our food I told what had happened. She was amazed that Candy could be socold about it.

“I would neverdo that to you!”

Hmm. That was interesting. Was that a just a general statement ofher feelings about the topic or was this something she was actively thinkingabout? Again, this idle thoughteased itself into my consciousness like a thief in the night, “Candy, who?”

Ana was reallymaking an impression on me. Itwasn’t just the physical attraction – although that wasconsiderable. We had a connectionat so many levels: a common cultural history and language, many commoninterests, and, as far as I could tell, we were just nice persons.

She reallyliked both of the dishes and couldn’t decide which she liked best. “So I guess they are both my favoritesnow.”

They wereactually quite good. The skin wascrisp and inside they were moist and tender with an almost indescribablydelicate flavor.

We were havingsome sherry after dinner and Ana told me her story.

“I’m nowtwenty-eight. Eight yearsago I married a wonderful man from Bilbao, Aitor Azkarra. He was a political editorial writer forEl Correo, one if the newspapers there. Aitor was a passionate Basque but he was tired of the killings. He felt the fighting should stop, thatan agreement should be reached with the Spanish government that would stillallow a lot of separatism for the Basque homeland, but not full independence.

“To say theleast, it wasn’t a popular position in Bilbao.” She bit her lower lip and looked at her glass. I could see tears forming in her eyes. “One night after work, he … they put abomb in his car. He never knewwhat happened.

“Afterward– that’s the problem with something like this; there is always anafterward – I had to change back to my maiden name and move toMadrid. I had to stop wearing myrings that Aitor gave me … I justcouldn’t afford to have people ask questions. There were threats … his parents and his younger brother andsister moved to Miami. I’m, well,I thinking of moving there too.”

She looked atme, a burning fire in her eyes, “God, Charlie, you can’t say a word of this toanyone! They are sofanatical. It’s sad because Aitorwas as much a Basque in his heart as anyone. He was just so … gentle. He wanted peace and died for his beliefs and for the thingshe said in his columns.”

I took her handand held it, gently. I brought herhands to my lips and kissed them as softly as I could. I thought about her pain - and thought about mine. His countrymen had betrayed herhusband. My wife had betrayedme. There was no way to comparethe depth of pain and betrayal in the two cases. For the first time I thought that Candy’s leaving me mightbe the best thing that ever happened to me.

I took her backto the hotel and she asked me to come to her room. “Charlie, I don’t want to be alone tonight. Can you just … well, hold me?”

She changedclothes and put on a conservative gown. I took my coat and tie and my shoes off and lay beside her. She gave me a short, but serious kissand turned over and seemed to fall asleep at once. By a serious kiss, I meant that it wasn’t a shallow goodnight kiss to an acquaintance but a kiss from a woman to a man that says, “Nottonight, but soon.” At leastthat’s the way it felt to me.

I cuddled up toher in a spoon position and turned the light out. After a bit I put my hand on her hip to make myself morecomfortable. She took my hand andplaced it on her breast and held it there. She wiggled her butt against me and fell into a deep sleep. After a while I fell into a deep sleepmyself.

Later, theclock said it was a little past two-thirty in the morning. I woke up. Some noise on the street, a slamming door, I didn’tknow. I had a raging erection andI lay there wide awake – it just felt too good to lay there and enjoy thepressure of her body against me. Iknew, somehow, that if I did what I wanted to it would be the right thing atthe wrong time. I felt it was acatharsis for her to tell me about Aitor. Her dreams tonight belonged to her memories.

I knew at thattime that we had a future together. I didn’t try to figure it out. I didn’t worry about Candy. Everything about her seemed so … distant, so passé. I eased out of bed, grabbed my stuffand went up to my room. Iimmediately got the legal papers Candy had given me and signed as marked,dotted the i’s and crossed the t’s. I put everything in the envelope the law firm had providedand put it on the corner of the desk.

That action waslike closing the book on a part of my life. As I drifted off to sleep, my last thought was that I neededto find out more about Ana. Was Iin love with her? I had noidea. But somehow I realized thatI could be happier with Ana than I had ever been with Candy. I slept the sleep of the just; I had nodreams and slept deeply. When Iwoke with the dawn the next morning I felt refreshed.

I hadn’t beenrunning as much as I wanted so I put on my running shoes and ran for an houralong the waterfront and up and back on Las Ramblas, the defining wide avenueof the city as it was just waking up with the early risers.

I got back tothe hotel and felt so good about my run I ordered a simple breakfast from roomservice: toast, orange juice and coffee. When I dropped the envelope for the divorce papers off at the desk I hada sudden epiphany; this was Candy’s problem, not mine. I had thought it was the love of theages but now I realized she was more of a sexy habit than anything.

From the timeshe had me rub that bruise from the golf ball she had held me in thrall withher body. Truth be told, Ana wasmuch better for me no matter which way you looked at it. I was remembering things now aboutCandy and, truth be told, outside of her unquestioning hot body she was ashallow person. Not dumb, hell,she was much smarter than I was. But her values, the things she wanted out of life were to me the dreamsof a shallow person.

I had myclosure. I didn’t need to see herand pathetically ask why. I didn’twant, yea, I didn’t need anything from her but finality. I was sitting out on the deck outsidemy room watching a giant cruise ship debark from Barcelona. The sense that I had was that Candy wason that ship and she was sailing out of my life. Farther out I could see the pilot boat dropping off a pilotto bring in the next load of passengers to ravage the shops and stands andstalls along Las Ramblas and I had the companion image of Ana being on the newship and was sailing into my life.

The phone rangand, unthinking, I picked it up.

“Hello,Charlie. Are your okay?”

It wasCandy. I thought about it for aminute, and answered, “Yeah, Candy, actually I am. I signed the papers and they should be delivered in twodays.”

She gushed,“Oh, Charlie, thanks! AndLlewellyn thanks you too. Oh, hisparents will be so happy. Did Itell you that we are being married at St. Paul’s? Oh, I’m so excited.”

She ran on fora bit and as I listened I asked myself how a woman so smart could be such anairhead? I honestly felt great allof a sudden. I realized that itwas my pride that had been injured, not my heart. I finally hung up and turned to take a shower when the phonerang again.

I had beenpatient, but enough was enough. This was her game and I wasn’t going to play anymore. “God damn it, justleave me alone!” I slammed thephone down, surprised that I didn’t break it.

About tenminutes later there was a soft, tentative knock at the door. Ana stood there looking afraid, likeshe was going to cut and run.

“Charlie, whatdid I do? I’m so sorry, but …” andshe did. That is she did cut andrun.

I chased afterher. “No, Ana, it wasn’t you. I’d just talked to Candy and when thephone rang again I thought it was her again. I’m so sorry! Idid mail in the papers so in a few months we will be divorced.” I pulled her close and hugged hertight, her tears mingling with the sweat from my run.

“Oh, Charlie, Ithought … I don’t know, it was like something died in me.” She looked up at me, the words I’d saidcoming through to her. “So youwill be free again?” This was saidwith a faint smile.

I pulled herinto the room. “There is somecoffee left on the balcony. Whydon’t you wait out there while I take a shower and get ready. Do you have any plans for the day?”

“Just a wineand cheese thing I’m supposed to go to tonight.”

“Have you everbeen to Montserrat?” She turned her head back and forth with a clear no. “Okay, let’s do that.”

Two hours laterwe took the cable car up the steep route to Montserrat after reaching the endof the line of the interurban train. It really was an incredible place; it was the site of a Benedictineabbey, Santa María de Montserrat. It was perched on the top of a steep hill with incredible views. Its history dated back to 880 AD andthere was a fascinating museum.

We spent a funday climbing around the rocks and had a decent lunch in the cafeteria. We got back to the hotel around fiveand Ana was adamant that she had to go to the reception. I suddenly felt desperate. I had this quick realization thatI might not see her again, that I might lose her. I tried one more time.

“Ana, I have toleave in the morning. I won’t seeyou again. Ana, I can’t do that …I, you mean a lot to me Ana.”

I could seethat she was about to cry, and I didn’t want to do that to her. I reminded her that she had my emailaddress and I gave her a tight hug, and walked away.

Going up theelevator I realized I should have asked her about the party – maybe itwas something I could crash. I gotto my room and ignoring the flashing red light on my phone I went out to thebalcony. I sat there a long time,looking along the waterfront and seeing nothing. I felt despondent; how could I lose Ana so quickly. I felt like I should fight for her butI didn’t know which dragon to slay. The phone rang, and I slowly went in to answer it. The thought that it might be Anaquickened my last few steps.

“Yes,” Ianswered in the abrupt American manner.

“SeñorCastillo? Yes, this is you?”

Recognizing thevoice, I responded, “Señor Benavidez, what can I do for you?”

“Ah,Charlie. It is good to hearyou. I trust all is well withyou.” Without giving me a chanceto say if I was well or not, he continued, “I left you a message but I wantedto make sure. The passengers willbe meeting for a wine and cheese party in meeting room A at seven-thirty. This is a tradition; about two hundredpeople that take the cruise usually stay here at the hotel for a day ortwo. The night before debarkationwe give them a party – they seem to like it. I think it would be good if you could attend.”

Distracted, Itossed off, “Yes, sure, Señor, I’ll make sure I go.”

“Señor,Charlie, we hire two types of personnel: crew, which cleans the rooms and soforth, and staff, such as chefs, chief stewards, finance people – allthat sort. You must remember thatthis ship carries about 2000 passengers and about half that manyemployees. There is alwaysturnover at each port with vacations, turnover and all that. We are adding about twenty low levelpositions for this cruise and about a dozen of what we call staff. It is the staff that will be at theparty tonight.”

I guess hewanted to me to look around. MaybeI could meet some of the contract workers hired by Señor Benavidez. As I was going down the elevator myspirits picked up. Maybe this wasthe party that Ana was attending?

It was a largeroom and there were obviously some of the new contract workers plus a number ofRoyal Cruise Lineslocal support and management personnel there in uniforms ofone kind or another. There weretables of appetizers in addition to a row of tables for tasting wine and cheeseat the end of the room.

The room wasmore crowded than I expected and I had some trouble trying to see if Ana wasthere. I finally found her pinnedin a corner by a slick looking guy in a RCL Uniform. As I got closer I remembered his name from the listBenavidez had provided from me. Aldo Bommarito was from Naples and was a trainer in the gym. I didn’t like his looks and I suredidn’t like the way he was invading Ana’s personal space.

As I came closeAna saw me and stepped around him, giving me a big hug. “You’re here! Are you going on the cruise? Where is your cabin? I have an interior cabin on Deck Eight.”

As long as Aldowas around I didn’t want to tell her where I was, in the Owner’s Suite on DeckTen. That’s what they hadavailable to stash me and I wasn’t going to argue.

Aldo gave me akind of smirk, a knowing smile … one gigolo to another. It made me feel unclean. I would certainly look for the truth,the verdad with this guy!

I finally gotAna alone to talk to her. “Ididn’t know you were going on this cruise, Ana.”

“Yes, that’swhy I’ve been at the hotel. I’mmeeting some of my family … and Aitor’s parents in Miami to see if I want tomove there. Aitor had some moneysaved and I wanted to do something different. Are you really going to be on this ship?”

Since she hadasked me to hold a confidence, I figured I could trust her. Hell, I didn’t know what I was doinganyway. I took her arm and led herout into the hallway to a sitting area and explained what was going on.

“Would you liketo board early? I can probably dothat for you.”

“Would I go onwith you?”

“Sure, I canprobably get you on a ships tour, too. Just a minute and let me check.”

I called hishome number – he told me to call if I had any questions. “Señor Benavidez, how are you? This is Charlie Castillo.” I went on to tell him what I wanted todo.

“No problem,Charlie. Listen; when you see theship dock you and your lady friend take a taxi with your luggage to thedock. They will be expecting you.”

I explained toAna and she was okay with that. Wewent back in to the party and circulated. I wanted everyone to think I was just another passenger. I told Ana to be ready around ten thenext morning and to sleep well. Igave her a quick kiss and left her to get ready.

THE CRUISE– BARCELONA TO MIAMI

It seemed thatI ~~lay~~ lay downon the bed, fell asleep and woke up instantly. Looking at the clock I could see that I’d slept rightat eight hours … and I rarely slept more than six.

I was on mybalcony watching the harbor when I saw a cruise ship docking, close toeight-thirty. I couldn’t quite seethe name but I could tell from the style that it was a Royal Cruise Linesship. I had to assume it was theSea Bright.

I called downto Ana, and after exchanging pleasantries, I asked her, “Could you meet me inthe lobby at ten, checked out and with your luggage?”

“Sure,Charlie. Can you really get meaboard early … and get me a tour? I’ve always wondered what it was like to see all the parts thatpassengers don’t get to see.

I took a showerand packed everything up, and went down to check out.

I walked up tothe desk to check out and caught the eye of the assistant manager. I’d gotten to know him over the manystays I’d had at the hotel.

He snapped hisfingers for someone to go to my room and pick up the luggage. “Señor Charlie! It was so good to see you again. You have already been checked out … thebill was taken care of.”

I knew when notto argue so I just shook his hand and thanked him for a wonderful stay. Instead of giving him a tip I made amental note to send something to his wife. I overdid the tip to the bellhop for taking our luggage outto a taxi.

When we got tothe ship the passengers were just beginning to trickle off. I saw a ship’s officer standingthere so I approached him and introduced myself.

“I’m CharlieCastillo. Señor Benavidez said I would be met by someone.”

“Yes, ofcourse, Señor. I’ll have someonecome down immediately.”

A tall, thin– almost cadaverous man of about thirty came out of the ship in a fewshort minutes.

He introducedhimself, formally, “Signor Castillo? My name is Giuseppe Basso, but please call me Joseph.” He nodded towards Ana, “And is thislovely signorina your friend I was told to expect?”

“Yes,Joseph. This is Ana, and I amCharlie.”

“I am the crewpurser, which means I directly have all responsibility for all the crew on thisship. Signor Benavidez briefed meby telephone this morning and the ship's captain has received a fax. I am a busy man on such a cruise but Iwill make whatever time available to you that you may need. However, to make things simple for you,I am providing Terence Dickens to take care of you.”

He snapped hisfingers and three men showed up. Actually it was two boys, late teens at the oldest, and a wizened oldman at least sixty. He was barelyfive foot tall, if that. Myfirst impression was that he barely escaped being a gnome.

“I’ll leave youin his capable hands,” Joseph finished as he walked away.

The old mangrabbed my hand and shook it with a much greater force than I would haveexpected. “Aye, mate, I’ll takecare of you. Is this thelass?” He had a heavy cockneyaccent that I think was lost on Ana, as she smiled uncertainly.

“Yes, this isAna, I’m Charlie.”

“Ma’am, you arebooked for an inside cabin on deck seven, right?”

She nodded heragreement to that.

“Okay, here’sthe deal. My job is to take careof you for the fifteen days of the cruise. Normally I’m a Floor Supervisor, meaning that I take care ofa deck. On this ship that isalmost always deck ten. Everyonethat has anything to do with the rooms for that deck would be responsible tome. I was supposed to go onvacation now but for a bonus I agreed to this trip.”

“Charlie, Ihave a suggestion. You weresupposed to go into the Royal Suite. One of the Directors from Miami has shown up with a bird, if you knowwhat I mean, all very hush hush. He wanted that suite so I’m going to put you in a Royal FamilySuite. It’s only half the size,but …” He looked at Ana, “Well, Ma’am, the Family suite has two bedrooms, eachwith its own bath and egress to the deck.

“If the two ofyou could share that cabin it would make it much easier for me. Y’see, Charlie, I was asked to lookafter the lady also.” He bowed toAna, “And may I say what a lovely lady she is! And, please, call me Terry.”

And Ana accusedme of kissing the blarney stone!

He looked backat me, “Charlie, I know this suite is only half the size of the other one, butit is quite nice. Could youhelp an old man out and share it?” He had a hopeful look on his face. I could see he was a scoundrel at heart, but apparently, he was my scoundrel.

I looked overat Ana, and with a smile, she nodded her head. Terry saw the movement and waved to the two young men wholoaded up our luggage on carts and disappeared.

Terry took usup to the suite and settled us in. It really was even nicer than he had said. Since it wasn’t costing me anything, I thought it wasespecially great!

Before he left,he said, “I’ve only got the two rooms, yours and the director’s.” With a leer, he continued, “And I don’tthink we will see much of him before we leave, if you get my drift.”

He called theyoung woman that would clean our room. “This is Alma. She is fromCebu in the Philippines. Like me,she has only the two rooms. She will come in a number of times during the day to keep everythingneat, but she will knock first.

He seemed likehe was leering again, “And if you don’t want to be disturbed, just put the signout. And I’ll see you for thedinner at the Capitan’s table at eight. I’ll come get you at ten ‘til.”

Both Ana andAlma were blushing. I couldn’tfigure out what that was about … ‘”Women,” I sighed to myself.

Alma insistedin unpacking the suitcases, assuming I wanted the larger bedroom with the kingsize bed. Ana and I went out onthe deck and enjoyed watching the activity on the dock. It looked like all the passengers haddebarked but the new ones weren’t to come aboard until around 1:00 p.m. Yet the dock was busy with all theactivity of restocking supplies and various government agents flitting around.

I looked at Ana– she seemed fascinated by all the activity. “Ana, are you okay with this? I mean staying in this suite?”

“Oh, yes,Charlie. I have my ownbedroom.” She looked slyly at me,“And I noticed it has a lock! Ifeel quite safe, Charlie.”

My face burnedpink at that. I stammered alittle, “Ana, I didn’t mean, I …”

She gave me abig smile, and added, “Charlie, the other room was on the inside, a tiny placewith no light. It was all I couldafford. It’s okay; I know you area gentleman.”

Well, I wasn’tso sure about that … in fact I was slightly offended but I couldn’t quitefigure out why. She was lookingout at Barcelona, enjoying the view. I thought about the night before, when I thought I’d never see heragain. I took her hand but avoidedlooking at her.

“Ana, lastnight you said you had to go to the reception. I ... I thought that I’d never see you again. This may not be what you want to hearbut I was heartbroken. You are inmy heart now, Ana. If you leavethere will be a big empty place.” I was still looking straight ahead, afraid to look at her.

Soundingheartbroken herself, she said, “Oh, Charlie. They said it was important to go and meet new friends. Charlie, I … I was going to come up toyour room afterwards.”

She took myhand and pulled it so I would look at her. “Charlie, I was going to give myself to you last night. I didn’t know you would be here on thisship and I, too, was afraid to not see you again. I was going to give you the phone numbers for to contact mein Miami. I can do that now.”

Suddenly I knewit was okay between us. Candy hadmade her decision and sure, my pride was hurt but the rent in my heart wasmended and filled so quickly by my feelings for Ana that I never really hadtime to grieve for a love lost. Something relaxed in me and I knew that everything was okay, with myselfand with Ana … and even with Candy.

“No, that’sokay. We have the whole cruiseand, well, we will see each other in Miami. Won’t we?” I asked with a slight tremor in my voice.

She squeezed myhand, then came and sat on my lap. “Sure, Charlie, we will see Miami together. And I … I’ll introduce you to Aitor’s parents and my brotherand sister. Well, my family.” Shelooked a bit funny when she said the last part, like she had forgottensomething; she seemed a little worried. “My mom and dad are still in Santiago. He is a lawyer looking into the Pinochet abuses.”

I started toask her about what she was concerned about but she took my head in her handsand gave me a deep kiss, one of commitment. We had forgotten Alma and I barely heard the phone ringingwhen I heard the sliding door opening. I tried to slide Ana off my lap, but she threw her arms around my neckand laughed at my embarrassment.

“Señor …Charlie, it is Mr. Terry.” I could see she was uncomfortable calling me by mygiven name but I had insisted.

I took thephone, curious to see what he wanted so soon.

“Charlie, I cando a tour for you at two o’clock. I’ve been told to show you the ship and to take you anywhere on it atany time. You can bring Ana alongif you want.” I could hear theleer as he said that. Dirty oldman! Knowing that a cruise shipbehind the scenes is not at all what the passengers see, I put on a pair ofshorts and, remembering what Terry was like, suggested to Ana that she wearslacks.

Terry obviouslyknew the ship well. He took usfirst to the bridge and introduced us to the captain, who was going over somepapers. He was Norwegian and gaveoff an aura of competence, and seemed a man that wouldn’t suffer fools gladly.

“Mr. Castillo,welcome to our ship. I know whyyou are here and I will fully support you in any way that I can. In fact, I am the one that insisted thecompany do something about what I see becoming more and more a seriousproblem. One would think that theproblems with harassing young women would be by other passengers but it ismostly a crew problem. Ithink we need to improve our hiring process and I would like to talk to youabout that at dinner.”

He turned toAna, and asked, “And who is this delightful lady?”

“This is mygood friend, my very good friend,” I added with a smile, “Ana Gálvez,”

“Please dobring her along to dinner. As awoman she may have insights to the problems we have been having. If she desires, I will make sure shealso has unlimited access to the ship.” He looked thoughtful, and added, “I frequently find that women are sometimesmore perceptive than men are.”

We chatted fora minute and then continued on the tour of the ship. We saw all the areas accessible to passengers, and then wentdown into the guts of the ship. Iwas amazed by the size of the laundry operation. But with just the sheets for twenty-five-hundred passengersand half that in crew, I could see it had to be a major operation. I really enjoyed the behind the scenesview.

Candy and I hadgone to Waikiki Beach to stay at the Ala Moana for our honeymoon. While we were there, the Peruvian NavalTraining ship was in town on a visit to Shanghai and other Pacific places,including Hawaii. I had a cousinfrom Peru that was an officer of the ship and he gave us a tour. Everything was utilitarian and painteda uniform gray.

This ship waslike that: what the passengers saw was ornate; what the crew lived with wasspartan. Still, it wasfascinating. I particularlyenjoyed the engine room. It lookedlike an operating room. It wasvery functional but clean and well organized. It was deep in the bowels of the ship and I had to wonderwhat it would be like to be closed up there in a storm.

After crawlingall over the ship, we were tired and went back to our cabin to rest beforedinner. We each went to our respectiverooms to take a shower. Iluxuriated in the hot water, and sleepily, lay on my king size bed coveringmyself with the light cotton sheet to ward off the air conditioning. I never slept with anything on –even a pair of boxers was a distraction to getting some rest.

I quickly fellinto a deep, dreamless sleep. After some indeterminate time ... a minute, an hour; I had no idea ... Ifelt a slight movement of the bed. I felt a warmth cuddling up to me but I was so far under it never raisedthe level of my consciousness.

I woke severalhours later – it was six and we still had two hours before dinner withthe captain. I rolled on my backand felt a weight pushing against my right side. I looked over and saw that it was Ana. Shocked and considerate at the sametime, I tried not to move, not to disturb her. I gradually sat up against the pillow and looked ather.

She had on apink baby doll nightgown that was up to just under her breasts. She wasn’t wearing the bottoms. The gown was so sheer that it didn’treally leave anything to the imagination. I guess she had been too warm to wear anything more. Whatever. I wasn’t about to wake her and ask any questions. I’d seen her breasts before but I’dnever had a chance to study them. They were slightly flattened from laying on her back and the dark pinkareolas and nipples were puckered from the slight down draft of the airconditioner.

Her stomach wastaut; she had mentioned that she worked out regularly, especially swimming alot. Her bush was trimmed forwearing bikinis and was the dark patina of old red brick. The outer labia were moreprominent that I would have expected and I couldn’t help but stare at them. I’d immediately become erect and I knewthe smart move would be to wake her up or else to get up and get dressed. I did neither of these.

Her legs weresplayed with her right leg bent at the knee and her foot resting against herleft calf. As stealthily as Icould I slid down the bed, my eyes locked on target. I gently lifted her foot and she straightened out her legsbut left them splayed open. Ileaned over and sniffed. There wasa faint scent of apple in her pubic hair. I had noticed several times that her hair smelled the same way. I assumed she shampooed her bush alongwith her hair with the same shampoo. On her legs was a delicate scent of lilac – I guess from some bodylotion.

I bent a littlelower and lightly touched my tongue to her slit, not moving it, just enjoyingthe smell and texture of her body. She looked dry so I let a small amount of saliva drip on her slit andgently, so gently moved my tongue slowly up and down, opening the folds of thelabia majora to get at the labia minora and the opening to her vulva.

She moaned andmoved slightly, as in a dream. I continued my stealthy assault, gradually moving my tongue deeper anddeeper. She was twisting like onedoes when one is asleep but a fly or something lands on the body.

At this stage Igave in to my desire and put one, then two fingers in her and gently moved themback and forth on her Gräfenberg spot, behind her pubic bone. I’d moved my tongue up to her clitorisand I started slowly and softly massaging it with my tongue, then increasingthe pressure as her body reacted. She woke just as she started a massive orgasm.

“Charlie, what… oh, God! Charlie, what are youdoing?”

My answer wasnot to answer. I moved up and slidinto her with one long smooth thrust and kissed her deeply to keep her fromasking any more questions. Sheimmediately started shaking again and she pulled me tight then put her legsaround me, pulling me in as much as she could.

I knew I wasn’tgoing to last long – this was just too erotic for me. As I released my sperm deep inside ofher the stray thought of birth control came to me. I rolled over with Ana half on top of me and she startedcrying. I felt bad as I felt hershaking.

I rubbed myhand along her back and whispered in her ear, “I’m sorry, Ana. I woke up to find you next to me, halfundressed and I … I just gave in to my lust. Please forgive me.”

“Oh,Charlie. It isn’t that. It’s … you are the first since Aitorand I woke up feeling … oh, please, Charlie, tell me you love me!”

“I do, Ana, Ido. I love you.”

We lay likethat for a while then she slid down and took me in her mouth. Quicker than I would have thoughtpossible I was erect again and she slip up and sat on top, moving slowly atfirst then gradually increasing the speed. He eyes were closed and I reached up and lifted the top overher head so I could see her breasts. I held them as she moved up and down, now asking for, demandingrelease. She came again with asheer passion, a carnal passion I’d never seen from Candy, and then shecollapsed on me.

We lay likethat for a long time but when I saw it was seven-fifteen I eased her up and ledher in to my oversized shower. Iturned the water to lukewarm and we gradually woke up. We were waiting when Terry knocked afew minutes before eight.

As we went downthe elevator four levels to the Chops Grill I took Ana’s hand in mine and heldit tight. She stared at me in themirror then turned and kissed me on the cheek … smiling as the wiped thelipstick off. I looked at theimage in the mirror – how could I have believed that she was handsomeinstead of beautiful?

She had on abasic black sheath dress with a high collar. She wore a thin gold necklace close around her neck. For the first time I saw her with herhair up and she had a long elegant neck that reminded me of Helen Hunt with herhair up off her neck. She wasquite lovely, all in all.

I’d expecteddinner with the Captain would be a command performance, with a lot of hangerson. It wasn’t like that atall. A table had been set asideand it was just the four of us, the captain, Jens Nordgaard, Terry and Ana andmyself.

Jens bowed toAna and shook my hand formally. “Let’s just chat while we eat, then we can talk over coffee.”

This was asteakhouse and it was outstanding. My filet was high quality beef prepared to perfection. I was to find out later that it hadnothing to do with the Captain being there; it was just a great place to eat.

I really don’tknow what I expected from the captain. He was well versed in current events, sports, the arts, and, of course,with anything related to the sea. He told us several anecdotes illustrating how the cruise business hadgrown and changed.

I had troublekeeping my eyes off Ana so that finally she had to kick me gently under thetable. I smiled at her and paidmore attention to what Jens was saying.

“This problemwith the crew bothering women has been around for some time, particularly onthe Mediterranean cruises. Yearsago it was mostly men molesting or taking advantage of young girls, especiallywhen they had too much to drink.

“Now it’s morevicious, more violent. We areseeing various kinds of drugs, including more and more of the date rapestuff. There are threats andpictures taken. There have beenseveral cases of straight rape. The laws of the sea are quite complex and we have crews from a largenumber of countries. It’s a realmess.

“We arestarting to get some bad publicity … deserved I’m ashamed to say. I think the problem is in the hiringprocess. What I’d personally likeyou to take a look at is whether you think we could set up some kind ofscreening process the cruise lines could share with each other. The problem is we have to comply withthe labor laws in each country we hire people.

“I don’t expectyou to solve the problem. What I’dlike from you, with your experience, is to help us to frame the problem so weunderstand it better.”

We chattedabout the issues some more, then the captain excused himself. Terry and I made an appointment to meetfor breakfast when he would give me some case histories to study. I took Ana to the Concierge Club on thesame deck as our suite. Everyonethat was booked into a suite was automatically a member.

There was awoman playing light jazz and Ana and I danced to a few slow numbers. We sat down and enjoyed the peace andquiet after the hustle and noise of the public areas. I had a nice single malt with a splash of water and Ana hada martini.

Ana lookedtroubled which made me feel bad. “Ana, I’m … sorry what I did. I didn’t give you a chance to say no. If you want to move to another cabin I’ll understand.”

“Oh, Charlie,my dear, dear, Charlie. You mustknow I love you. It’s not whathappened. God, I’ve wanted thatsince the first time I saw you by the pool.” She smiled … maybe it was a smirk, and continued, “Although,it was a surprise. You, sir, arequite talented. I might just haveto keep you around as my slave. Charlie, I think maybe you are better than an alarm clock!”

Looking seriousagain, she added, “No, there is something else I haven’t told you about. It’s … something important to me that Ihaven’t told you about – and now I don’t know how. It scares me, Charlie.”

I knew we hadmoved fast and I had to give her time. I put my arm around her and held her close. “Querida, I do love you. Don’t hurry on account of me.”

Later we werewalking around one of the upper decks before we turned in. Suddenly, Ana stopped and grabbed myarm. “Oh, my God, Charlie. I don’t have any birth controlpills! I haven’t used them sinceAitor died … I haven’t had any reason.”

“Ana, tomorrowwe dock in Alicante. You can goashore to a pharmacy, okay?”

Lookingdubious, she nodded and answered, “Yes, okay.”

We got back toout room and got ready for bed. “Ana, you can stay in your room if you want to but I would really likefor you to sleep with me. No, notjust for the sex – which was great, by the way – but I like youclose to me. Okay, querida?”

She wasagreeable to that. We didn’t makelove that night. I think we wereboth worn out, emotionally as much as physically. But it felt so good to hold her close in the lonely hours ofthe night.

In the quiethour before dawn I could feel the slight vibrations of the boat. I remembered we were to dock inAlicante at seven a.m. I lay therefor a long time thinking about Candy. It was frustrating because it was all so remote. I was pissed off at the way she had socold bloodedly just left me a note.

Damn, she hadbig balls! I laughed quietly as Itried to figure out if that was an oxymoron. Guess not. Then I wondered if it were more precise to say she had brass ballsinstead of big balls. Hell, maybeshe had big, brass balls. Isnorted as I wound up that train of thought: well, if she married Llewellyn,she would be the only one with balls. I almost laughed aloud as I tried to figure out if she couldself-impregnate herself.

In a moreserious vein, what I had trouble dealing with was trying to understand why, ifI was so mad at her for her betrayal, I wasn’t bothered more by it. Had we drifted so far apart without mehaving a clue about it? Anotherstrange thing about it was that I wasn’t mad at her so much as a person, butfor what she had done.

As far asLlewellyn, he was just a cipher as far as I was concerned. I’d met him once or twice and had noreal recollection of what he was like, other than bland. The bottom line was that if Candywanted to leave there was nothing I could do to stop her … and I sure wasn’tgoing to beg. She was in Londonand I was on a cruise ship off the coast of Spain. What the hell?

Ana moved nextto me and I put my arm around her, pulling her up on my chest, and she fellback asleep. What did I want? If I were honest with myself –and I always tried to be – the soft warmth of Ana in my arms at thatmoment was giving me more satisfaction and a feeling like … I guess like cominghome. I felt like there had beensomething missing and I had just found it. Kind of like a sailor after a long cruise, coming to hishome port and family.

I knew for surethen, right at that moment, that I wanted and needed Ana in my life. I had to ask myself some hardquestions, like, was this a rebound thing? It had moved awfully fast. Was I trying to get back at Candy? I thought about these and morequestions, falling half asleep, with no real answers but with a feeling ofpeace seeping into me. I hung myhat on that and fell into a deep sleep until Ana’s getting out of bed woke meup.

I had to getready to meet with Terry, so I asked Ana, “Do you want me to go into town withyou?”

She laughed, “No,I think I can pick up a prescription okay. Besides, I need to pick up some presents for …” she pausedfor a minute, looking a bit flustered, “… for some of my family in Miami.

I didn’t thinkanything about what she said and went in to take my shower, preoccupied with mybreakfast meeting. I still didn’thave a real clear idea of what they wanted me to do but I had to at least makean attempt.

We met at the Seaview Café two decks up. Terry was there, waiting for me with a carafe of coffee,which suddenly made him my best friend. We had a great view of Alicante as we were closing in to the dock. We were sitting outside and it wasalready warm with a slight ocean breeze.

I told Terry Ijust wanted something light and a girl brought me a continental breakfast. There was a stack of folders on thetable – much thicker than I had anticipated.

I picked up thefirst couple and looked at them. The first one was from a sister ship, the Sea Shadow. Each folder had a précis at the front.

The28-year-old woman said that she was raped on an RCL ship last year by a cruiseship employee. She said she wasfurther victimized when she was told by cruise ship staff to collect evidenceof the crime herself.

"Thefeeling was like nobody was helping me," the woman said. "Everythingwas slow motion and they were trying to figure out how to protectthemselves."

The next onewas an assault of a cruise ship employee on the Sea Bright by a passenger.

While shewas a cleaning a women's restroom, a drunken male passenger came into arestroom of the ship and asked her to pose for a photo with him. Two shipemployees held the restroom door open, and another man clicked a camera. Thewoman went along with the clowning - until the drunk grabbed her breasts. Shewas infuriated.

Terry said,“What’s not in these files is that there are a few out and out sexual predatorsthat go from cruise ship to cruise ship. Most of them will use various kinds of threats to keep the women frommaking a complaint. These rangefrom threats of violence to the woman or a member of her family to takingpictures and using them for blackmail. Too often it’s a simple situation of taking advantage of a woman who isinebriated.”

I sighed andtook the stack back to the cabin to read. Ana had already gone ashore so I went out on the balcony with somecoffee and went through the stack, making notes and looking for patterns. From what Benavidez had said, I wasn’tto concern myself about the laws, or the police actions, but more on hiring andtraining practices.

Ana came backabout eleven holding a package of birth control pills in one hand and adiaphragm in the other and a big smile on her face.

“I can’t startthe pills until my next period starts, which should be about the time we get toMiami. We have to use this in theinterim.” She held up thediaphragm and waved it around. “You will still love me when we get to Miami, won’t you?” she teased.

I had been sitting on the sofa in theliving area and took her hand and pulled her down on my lap. I kissed her with a quickening hungerand then held her tight. Iwhispered in her ear, “Querida, I will always love you.”

The next coupleof days were uneventful. Iwandered around the ship, getting familiar with it and just observingpeople. Terry would introduce meto one employee or another in different departments. Each of them had been briefed on my task and asked to nottell anyone else. It wasinteresting getting their various perspectives.

They all agreedthat from the passenger perspective it was almost always a problem withbooze. I met with Terry and JosephBasso and we kicked around some ideas. The problem seemed the worst in the bar by the pool area. We talked it over with the bartendersand waiters and asked security to put a video camera in place and keep an eyeon things.

Neither of uswanted to get off at Gibraltar so we spent a languid day by the pool, nearlydeserted with so many passengers ashore. After a couple of hot hours in the sun we escaped toour cabin and came together with a slow gentle touching, sharing our bodies,enjoying our love. The more Itouched her, the more I saw her firm body, the more I wanted her. Not just wanting her for my pleasurebut for a pleasure we could share together.

We didn’t talkmuch of our love. Instinctivelyrealizing how sudden it was and we didn’t want to jinx it. Physically we shared our lovefully. Emotionally we moved with atender slowness, not pushing it … just letting it come.

We were stillgetting to know each other, our little quirks and habits: the endearing things,the annoying things. Sheused my razor to shave her legs – I said something and felt repentant ather look of hurt. I admired aleggy blond in a next to nothing bikini and she gave me a dirty look andstomped off to our suite.

She had alovely way of walking around our room wearing just a bra and panties that keptme in a perpetual state of sexual excitement. I always opened doors, pulled back chairs, all the littlesigns of respect that flowed from love. Unlike Candy who had expected these things as her due, Ana always let meknow she appreciated it with a touch, a soft look, or a bawdy flip of her hipswhen I put my hand on her ass walking down the hallway.

I was caringless and less about what I was on the ship for. It was pretty clear to me that they mostly needed to tightenup on their hiring practices. Thedifferent cruise lines just fired someone when there was a problem but neverpassed that information on to the police or to other cruise lines. There was what seemed to me to be ablanket of secrecy about the whole thing. Well, I’d make my report, including a suggestion for installing atraining program and policies and procedures addressing internal sexualharassment issues.

The customerpart, again, I felt that better crew training and some common sense approacheswould handle most of the problems. I also did some research and pulled it together in a report I provided. Given the number of incidents andpassengers the assault rate was less then half what it was in the resort hotelsin Cancun by staff and a fraction of incidents by guests. I made a mental note not to take Ana toCancun.

The fourth dayof the cruise we would be in Lisbon from nine in the morning until eight atnight. I took Ana to visit some ofthe things I loved about the city and we had a great day. We had a small espresso – whatthey called uma bica with sweet rolls in the Barrio Alto and visited thebeautiful church, São Roque with its magnificent baroque interior.

It was abeautiful city, one of my favorites. Ana had never been there so she was like a child at Christmas: no matterhow many presents opened, the next one was ever more exciting. We had an early dinner in Alfama, asmall place hidden in the twists and turns of the old district. The place was one of those unique toLisbon, a Beer and Shellfish Tavern. We ordered a huge plate of giant prawns and a side dish of their exquisiteameijoas, those clams that seemed to taste better here than anywhere else inthe world.

Tired, sated,and a bit tipsy from the pitcher of beer we made it back to the ship andwatched as the ship left Lisbon heading for Funchal, on the incrediblybeautiful island of Madeira. Theisland was basically a mountain sticking out of the sea. It was just less than three hundredsquare miles spread around the large mountainous interior.

At over sixthousand feet, the mountains were surprisingly tall. Covered with clouds the mountains towered over Funchal,which flowed down to the sea in a jumble of red tile roofs, crooked streets andan amazing festival of greenery.

I loved theplace and there were a lot of places I wanted to take Ana but we really didn’thave time. We walked around townfor a while, sitting occasionally in the park, watching people. We went on a fascinating tour of one ofthe Madeira houses, finishing with tastes of their different styles. My favorite, a Malmsey, uses a grapethat makes one of the richer, sweeter Madeiras. They had it paired with some Roquefort cheese … exquisite!

They had glasscases with screens over them with vintages dating back to the 1770s. I asked Ana her age causing her to lookat me in surprise.

“Ana, I justwant to buy you a bottle for your birth year.” What is it with women and their ages? I shelled out seventy dollars for a1979 Rainwater Madeira and got a sweet kiss in return. I felt it was a fair trade.

Back down bythe dock area, there were a lot of seafood restaurants so I let her pick oneout at random and we had some delicious local fish, along with a bottle of thePortuguese Vinho Verde, the crisp white wine matching perfectly with thefood. It is called a green winenot because of its color ... it can be either white or red ... but because itis bottled when it’s young. Ittypically has just a hint of effervescence to it.

We went on toTenerife but it was quite hot and we chose to stay aboard. Then we had five days of open seabefore we would get to St. Johns. Both of us enjoyed the open sea more than making a lot of stops. Life aboard ship settled into apleasant, if somewhat humdrum, pace. We felt lazy and just enjoyed the trip. Sometimes we would stay up late and dance in the lounge;other nights we would hit the sack early and enjoy each other, having dinnersent in.

On the nightswe retired early, we usually got up early as well. We were in the habit of going up to deck twelve where Iwould run around the jogging track, sometimes around the deck, while Ana wouldwalk easy, going wherever she saw something interesting. We liked to do this before breakfast toget the juices flowing and wake up. The air was so clear and clean it almost seemed intoxicating. We were about half way between Madeiraand St. Johns.

On this morningI’d gotten tired of running around the jogging track and headed to the otherend of the ship around where the golf driving range was. I’d just gotten back to the pool areaand I saw Ana running towards me, with a scared, urgent look on her face.

“I was walkingin from the fitness center to see if they were open when I heard a scream.”

I ran to thefront of the gym area – it opened at seven and it was about a quarter to– the door was locked and I put my ear to the glass door. I heard a definite scream and told Anato go the purser's office and have them send security up.

I thought aboutkicking the door in and thought what glass shards would do to my leg. I grabbled a nearby table and threw itat the door, shattering the glass. I reached in and unlocked the door, listening for noise. I heard a muffled shout in the areathey used for massages – I remembered this from my tour – and Ifound my old friend Aldo, the one that was bothering Ana at the reception inBarcelona, in the final stages of ripping the clothes off a tiny Philippinegirl; she couldn’t have weighed more than ninety pounds. She was maybe nineteen at the oldest.

I wasn’t thatbig a guy, maybe five-ten and slim from the years of running. But I had two things going for me; Iwas highly pissed and I was motivated. I slammed both hands, open, on Aldo’s ears and that immediately took thefight out of him. Just tomake sure, I kicked him as hard as I could in the groin area … forgetting myrunning shoes were on and sprained my big toe. I stumbled over to a stack of towels and wrapped one aroundthe girl just as security showed up, Joseph right behind them.

I explainedwhat had happened and apologized for the door. They asked a few questions and took Aldo away. Ana came in just as they led him outthe door. Ana looked at him withsuch a venomous stare it sent chills down my spine. This, I said to myself, is not a woman to get mad atyou. I was sure she was going tospit in his face and moved closer, protectively.

Ana took hersweat jacket and sweat pants off and gave them to the girl. They were big on her, but by rolling upthe legs and sleeves she was much more decorous as they took her down tosecurity to take her statement. Joseph told me later he would come to my cabin and I could fill outwhatever forms. I asked him aboutthe door, but he just laughed.

I looked at Anaand I had to say she looked much better with just a sports bra and Lycra shortson. We went down to take a showerthen had breakfast with a stop on the way to get my toe taped and get some painpills.

We got off forshopping and lunch at St. Johns then we were off for Miami, two more days ofopen ocean then the cruise would be over.

I put togethermy position papers, had Terry review them, and presented them to Joseph and thecaptain. I don’t think either wassurprised by anything and I had the feeling they knew exactly what to do buthadn’t been able to make their directors understand to the point that theywould take action.

A bonus was thedirector that had taken the owner's suite sat in on the talk and seemedsuitably impressed. He shook myhand, apologized for taking my room, and offered me a cruise at a later date ascompensation. I wasn’t going tocomplain and just nodded as if it were my due and shook his hand. I only saw the woman he was with onceand I certainly couldn’t fault his taste.

With myresponsibilities over, Ana and I relaxed for the last day and a half of thecruise. She seemed worried aboutsomething, but I wasn’t sure what. I asked if she was okay but she gave me a wan smile and nodded yes.

That afternoonwe went to the room to rest. Well,that had been my intention, anyway. Ana put some light jazz music on, opened the drapes and did a slow,sensuous strip for me.

She lookedlovely with the bright sunlight splashing across her through the open curtainsof the door to the balcony. Therewas no way for a person to see inside the window but she seemed excited by theopenness. She spun around dancingwith her eyes closed, the bright sun highlighting her clothes as they flew tothe corners of the room.

She delicatelytook off her final items, her bra and panties and threw them at me with a laughand flopped on the bed. She lookedwanton, lying there with her legs splayed slightly and her arms reaching for me. The sunlight caught the curly tips ofher pubic hair creating a slight halo effect that was very erotic.

I sank down onthe bed beside her; my face buried in her hair, smelling the essence of her,the things that made her so desirable. I could hear her breathing, the faint rush of cool air from the ceilingvent, and at some level the throb of the engines deep below in the bowels ofthe ship a constant.

She rose andsat on my thighs, facing me, slowly rubbing her hands from my abdomen up to mychest – a smile on her face. She raised herself to her hands and knees and, with a frown ofconcentration on her face, gently drew her brick red bush back and forth overmy erection. The slightscratching, back and forth, the tight curls barely touching … made my skin sosensitive I felt like I would explode just from the brush of her hair.

Lowering herpelvis a fraction more I felt her wetness coating my penis. She was moaning and I was ready but Iwanted to prolong it – to enjoy our bodies together as one.

I rolled over,pinning her beneath me. Her pupilsseemed like pinpoints of black agate, caught as they were in the full sun. They had a playful look but as I staredinto them they turned serious and grew wider as she waited for what was tocome.

She whispered,trembling, the faintest drop of a tear in the corner of each eye, “Just you andme, Charlie, just you and me.” Shetook my head in her hands and, pulling me close, kissed me deeply, a kiss ofpromise and fulfillment.

I slid down toher breasts, one in the sun and one in shadow, sucking one, then the othergently, making it last. I felt hernipples grow hard in my mouth as I gently nibbled them. I slipped on down, my feet now off thebed. I wanted all of her, mytongue flicking out, this secret spot, that concavity, tasting her as I passedher belly.

I heard hergasp in anticipation as I kissed along the inside of her thighs, enjoying thesilky texture, kissing them, and barely touching the softness. She shivered as I reached where we bothknew I had been heading for, delays in route as the curves of her body providedthis taste, that smell.

I moved to thecrease between her legs rubbing my face over her hair, enjoying the feel,smelling her unique scent. Iparted her outer lips with my fingers and slowly moved my tongue from thebottom to the top flicking her clitoris as its small hood valiantly tried toprotect it from the depredations of my tongue.

Feeling herhands running though my hair then pulling me tightly against her as I breathedhotly on her sex, slowly licking in long strokes from the bottom to the top inone motion, always ending at her clit. She shivered as I repeated this over and over until she shuddered,crying out, “Now, Charlie, now, love me, come with me.”

I moved up andslowly entered her; languidly stroked, wanting it to last, for me, for both ofus. Her vagina rippled withaftershocks as I drew in and out; established a rhythm with her. Feeling my need … and hers, I increasedthe pace until with a long, almost violent lunge I came in her, felt hersqueezing me tight.

We collapsed onthe bed, spent. The sweat of theexertion now cooling as our bodies dried under the tender ministrations of theair conditioner. Pulling a sheetover us we fell into a deep sleep. Hours later, knowing we had to pack for the morning debarkation inMiami, I woke her with a kiss and whispered sweet silly nothings in her earuntil she started laughing and then tickling me, she climbed out of bed.

We took ashower and packed, ready for what the morrow would bring. We were excited by the possibilities,scared of the problems that might arise, but comfortable in our love.

That last nightof the cruise we had dinner with Captain Jens again, this time in one of themain dining rooms with a mixed coterie of staff and passengers. It was a wonderful meal with wine fromJens private stock. He asked Anaand I to meet him in the engine room for coffee. We did and had a pleasant discussion. He was a fascinating man with a commandpresence.

He was graciouswith Ana and I felt he would be a friend. He had had a picture of him, Ana and myself at dinner and signed it andsaid we would get it in a nice frame before we departed.

After dinner wedanced for a while in one of the lounges, feeling quite mellow. Ana seemed to be in a happy, almostplayful mood. She kept teasing me,pushing her hips into mine as we danced.

Finally, Ilooked at her and asked, “Ana, would you like to go back to the cabin?”

She smiled heragreement, probably thinking I was a bit slow on the uptake. When we got back to the room I wronglythought that she would have been satiated. Where the afternoon was slow and sensuous, that final nightshe was wild in her need with an almost desperate air about her. She seemed worried but I assured her ofmy love and she calmed down.

The nextmorning we were standing on the deck looking at the clusters of people standingbehind the fence. Ana saw a smallgroup off to the side and waved to them … they were all obviously Latin, anolder couple, a man with a woman standing close to him, a younger woman, maybeearly twenties that looked like she could be Ana’s sister, and two little kids,girls, about five.

We turned toeach other at the same time, Ana looking nervous. I’m sure I looked confused.

“Charlie … Inever told you about my girls. Because of what happened to Aitor I am extremely protective of my littleangels. Then … when I fell in lovewith you I was afraid that I might lose you, that you wouldn’t want children …another man’s kids. I didn’t knowwhat to do. It was tearing me up!”

“Ana, you arecrazy wonderful. I love childrenand maybe that is what was missing from my life … Candy didn’t want to give upher career.” Looking at the girls,I was suddenly scared; what if the girls wouldn’t accept me?

Ana, reading mymind, smiled, “Charlie, they will love you. Ana Argiñe Galvéz is on the left and María Ariñe Galvéz ison the right. Aitor gave themtheir first names and I picked their middle names. Argiñe and Ariñe both mean‘light’ in Basque. When I firstsaw them it seemed like God’s light was shining on them and those seemed likethe right names. Are we okay,then?” she added nervously.

I gave her ahard hug, my heart going out to her. We walked down the dock, went through customs and picked up ourluggage. As we walked back outsideI stood back a little bit while she was swamped by her family, especially bythe two girls. She was crying andso were the little Ana and María and I didn’t want to intrude on such aprivate, intimate moment. Thecrush of people trying to get in to customs was heavy and I started gettingpushed back.

I heard a loudsqueal, shouting, “Charlie,” and so did everyone else. Ana and her family turned to me,curious, as this blond bombshell I recognized as Candy came flying at me, herarms and legs wrapped around me like a leach in heat, and her tongue doing it’sbest to give me a tonsillectomy. Ihad a flash of a horrified Ana staring at me as I lost my balance and fell.

I feltsomething hard hit behind my ear then my nose exploded in pain. A sudden dizziness overwhelmed me …then blackness enfolded what small awareness I had left.

A dark periodtook over my life.

BUT NEVER DOUBTI LOVE

Doubt thouthe stars are fire,

Doubt thatthe sun doth move;

Doubt truthto be a liar,

But neverdoubt I love.

Shakespeare,Hamlet, II,ii,116

The voice wassaying something I couldn’t quite make out. There was the timbre of anxiety in the voice; the wordsfiltered as if I had earplugs on. I gradually became aware of my body – my subconscious sending outurgent messages to the organs and extremities asking if they were doing okay.

The rightresponses must have been sent back because I had a sense of feeling betterwithout knowing why I felt that way. I felt, and then saw one eyelid then the other as they were pulled up,an unpleasant graininess causing discomfort. A blinding flash of light, with that special intensity of atoo close bolt of light caused a sudden pain in my eyes. Firm hands holding my head tight … theowner of the hands offering a barely heard, “Easy, okay, easy.”

The soft voiceknew somehow – experience? – that my eyes were dry and gentlyapplied two drops of some liquid to each eye. There was instant relief and by squinting I could make outthe plain but somehow peaceful face of a nurse looking over at me. Moving my head slightly I saw a short,pot-bellied man who must be the doctor – standing there observing us.

I could alsomake out a large bandage covering my nose and now, with the sight I knew thatpain would arrive shortly. Imumbled, dry mouthed, “What happened?”

The doctor camecloser, and looking at me with a smile, said, “Yes, I guess you wouldn’tknow.” He pointed at somethingoutside of my range of vision and the nurse held a water bottle with a straw init to my lips.

“You fell downat the port. Your head hit thesharp corner of the concrete base of a light pole. You had bleeding in your brain. We had to put you in an induced coma and drill a small holein your skull to clean out the clot. We just now brought you out from under. We will keep you here for a few days for monitoring but youshould be able to leave by the end of the week.”

“How long haveI been here?”

“Just under twoweeks.”

“What happenedto my nose?”

“He smiled,“Well, a bit of bad luck there. When you fell your wife fell on top of you and hit your nose with herelbow. “Fraid you aren’t going tobe quite as handsome with that new bend in your beak.” He chuckled at what he must haveconsidered a joke.

Soundingstupid, even to myself, I asked, “My wife?”

“Yes, and Imust say she is quite lovely. Ihave never seen a wife as dedicated as her. She has been here almost all day, every day. Sitting by your side, reading to youfrom a novel. The nurse said shewent to the hotel to get some sleep just before I came in to bring you out ofthe coma.”

“How soon can Itravel?”

“Well, I’d saya week from today should be okay. Don’t do anything really strenuous for a couple of weeks. By the way, there is a gentlemanwaiting to see you, if you feel up to it.”

I asked thenurse to put the back of my bed up some and to let him in.

“Charlie, damn,you look like you got hit by a truck!”

It was my bossfrom New York, Gerald Adams. “Thanks, Gerald. That makesme feel a lot better. Listen, I’mready to move closer to the action. I need to work out something. If I can make it happen I want to be based in Miami. That would be best for travel to SouthAmerica and good connections to Spain and Portugal. Otherwise I’ll go ahead and move to Madrid like youoriginally wanted me to.”

Gerald staredat me, “I’m a little confused here. Candy told me you guys had patched things up. She also said she was changing her focus to work mostly inthe US so she wouldn’t have to travel so much.”

That bitch!

“Well, Gerald,that’s not true. Candy and I arethrough. We’ve both signed thepapers and the divorce is in process.”

“Uh, Charlie,Candy said she tore those papers up.”

That bitch!That damned bitch!

“Well, Gerald,I kept a copy signed by both of us and I’m going to turn it in. If that doesn’t work I’ll move toNevada for six weeks and do it there. We are clearly incompatible, which is all that Nevada cares about. I have the note that she gave me whenshe said she was dumping me for Llewellyn. So talk to me about Miami.”

He looked a bitstunned – I didn’t really blame him.

“Well, sure itwould be better for us to have you either here or in Madrid. Actually, all things considered here inMiami would be the best. We dohave an affiliate office you can work out of when you need to. And I fly through here all the time soit would be much easier for us to meet.”

“Okay, great,Gerald. Look, I need you to dosomething. Could you call the lawfirm we work with in Santiago and have them set up an introduction for me in,say, two weeks? A lunch would begreat. I need to meet with a guyand I don’t know much about him. His last name is Galvéz and he is a lawyer working on the Pinochetstuff. I know his wife’s maidenname is Pomar, but that’s all I have.”

“Sure, I can dothat. How are you feeling? I have to say your nose looks likeshit.” He laughed at that.

I told him howeverything went on the cruise. I’dalready copied him on the reports I’d written.

“Charlie, theywere quite impressed with you. Imet with Cary Edwards and he gave us a contract to do a feasibility study onyour recommendations. Heapologized again for taking the room they were going to have you use and toldme to tell you he meant what he said about his offer of the suite for you totake a cruise on them. He said itjust had to be scheduled. He gaveme his secretary’s number here in Miami and you just need to call her when youare ready.”

We chatted fora bit more, and when the nurse came in to do whatever it is that nurses alwaysseem to be doing, he stood up.

“Gerald, Iappreciate your not asking anymore about what’s going on. I’ll let you know when I either do ordo not get it worked out. Beassured, though, that in any case Candy and I are not getting backtogether.”

After the nurseleft I fell asleep for a couple of hours. When the nurse’s aide came to serve me lunch I saw that Candy wasstanding there staring at me. Fromthe look on her face she had run into Gerald and heard what I’d had to sayabout her.

She came overand sat on the edge of the bed. “Iscrewed up, didn’t I, Charlie?” Ilooked away for a moment then looked back at her, curious about what she wouldsay. “It was so stupid. I’d gone shopping but I got a headacheand came home. I caught him in bedwith the guy that was supposed to be the best man.”

She teared upand tried a laugh that didn’t work out quite right, “I guess that was theproblem, huh, he really was the best man. It turned out his dad wanted him to getmarried to make him look more respectable. I guess there is no chance for us?”

Quietly, Ireplied, “No, Candy, there isn’t. I’ve moved on. I’ve … well,Candy, I’ve found someone new. Someone special I want to live the rest of my life with. She was there, at the dock. Did you see her? She was with two small girls, twinsabout five.”

“No,Charlie. I only had eyes foryou. I stupidly figured we couldjust start over. I toldGerald that I was going to stay in Denver. But if it’s not going to work out I’ve been offered apartnership in a small firm in Odessa, Texas. There will just be three of us and we will specialize in oilleases.”

She startedcrying and I did feel some sympathy for her. I’d loved and lived with her for years. I didn’t hate her; just what she haddone to us. Forgiving her or notwasn’t an issue. Our lives wouldgo on in different orbits. The waythat it had come about left a bad taste in my mouth but that was history now. Iwas impatient for her to leave, distracted with trying to figure out what hadhappened to Ana. The only thingthat made sense was that Ana had seen Candy kiss me and jumped to the wrongconclusion.

She stood up,“Can you give me a goodbye hug?”

I did but, withno guilt whatsoever, my mind was on Ana.

As she left,Candy added, “I know this doesn’t mean much, but I really am sorry. Not just for what I did but for thesmall, mean way I did it. I’m notproud of myself. I won’t fight youon the divorce, Charlie. I hopeyou find that girl. Oh, by theway, there was a man called Terry, an Englishman. He saw you fall and said he would have the cruise line holdyour luggage. Just call them andthey will have it delivered.

She walked outthe door and out of my life. Itwas ten years before I saw her again, and that was at the airport in Houston …ships passing in the night.

I improvedrapidly and that Saturday they let me out of the hospital. The doctor wanted me to wait foranother three or four days before traveling. Gerald had called me and told me the meeting was setup. I still had ten days beforethe meeting in Chile so I made reservations for the next Wednesday to fly toLima. I figured I’d spend a fewdays there with my extended family that had remained in Perú. Then I would go on to Santiago for themeeting that I hoped would answer some questions and save my life.

I checked intoa hotel room and called to have my luggage delivered. I had everything cleaned and washed, and paid extra to haveit done right away. It would bewinter in Lima and Santiago so I bought a couple of heavier jackets and severalpair of slacks.

I spent my dayswalking along the beach, thinking of Ana, trying to puzzle out herdisappearance. I could see herbeing upset … more than that, feeling betrayed if she saw Candy kissingme. There wasn’t anyway she couldhave known that I didn’t want and would have refused the kiss if I had thechance. I loved only Ana and forme it was the last love I would have.

I finallydecided she must have seen us and turned at once in shame and anger. Yeah, she did have a fierytemper. I know that she wouldn’thave been able to walk away if she knew that I was hurt.

I didn’t wantto sink into depression, I had to fight this and find my love. I was dying of curiosity about thegirls and found myself wishing I had had a chance to meet them. I was careful to drink only wine orbeer and then only with meals. Thesolace of alcohol was tempting, but I knew it would ultimately beself-defeating.

The trip toPerú went quite well. Everyonemust have thought I looked skinny ‘cause they did their best to fatten meup. It was good to decompress– great and terrible, my life had been chaos for the last month.

A highlight waswhen my cousin took me to see Cecilia Barraza at a club, Manos Morenas, inBarranco. She had such a lovelyvoice and the Pisco sours were going down easily. The food was great and the conversation made me realize howimportant family was. In Perú,family is sometimes a somewhat loose concept and that night included cousins ofcousins and several persons that I had no idea of how they fit in.

The nextmorning, having both a slight headache and a warm feeling from the nightbefore, I flew down to Santiago. The temperature was about the same as Lima but the lower humidity wasmore comfortable than Lima and it was quite pleasant. In the winter Lima usually has what they call garua,which is a gray mist that settles in over the city to a height of about threehundred feet, for months at a time and is totally depressing. Santiago was cool but sunny, and all inall was quite nice.

My meeting withAna’s father was set for the next day for lunch at two in the afternoon at awell-known place called Giratorio. It was on the sixteenth floor of the building where Señor Galvéz (it washard to think of him as Ana’s father) had his law office.

I met him atthe restaurant and he wanted to hold off talking until after the meal, whichwas incredible. Over coffee I toldhim my story. My nose was obviousand I showed him the still healing scar on my head where they drilled forblood.

I wasdisappointed with his attitude. Ithink he pretty much believed me but felt that Ana’s privacy was herbusiness. The most he would agreeto do was to take the information on how to contact me and give it to Ana thenext time she called.

Despondent anddisappointed I walked down to take a taxi back to the hotel. Raúl - that was his name - did agree towalk me down stairs. The doormanof the building waved for a taxi and as we were standing between the taxi andthe building I saw a fast movement to my right.

Rememberingwhat Ana had said about the Basque separatists, I must have been subconsciouslywound up. Seeing a motorcyclecoming fast down the street I saw that the driver and passenger both hadstocking caps pulled over their heads and the passenger was pulling a pistolout of his pocket.

Not thinkingabout it I shoved Ana’s dad to the ground and threw my briefcase, and, just asthe pistol started firing, I dropped to the pavement. I heard screeching and a crash. I stood up and the taxi driver told me I had hit the driverin the head with my heavy leather case. The cycle had slid under a bus and it was clear no one survived.

The police, ofcourse, came in short order. Itturned out the two guys were Pinochet loyalists and didn’t like what Raúl wasdoing. Ana’s dad was shook up buttook me back in the lobby.

“It’s seemslike I owe you something. Look, Charlie, why don’t you come to dinner tonight and meet mywife. You can tell her your storyand we’ll see what she has to say.”

So at nine thatevening I found myself in front of an attractive, moderately sized house in anice, quiet neighborhood. As thetaxi parked I did notice a police car at each end of the block.

The dinner wasboth elegant and simple. The winewas from Chile and went well with the meal. Afterwards, we retired to what looked like a library andRaúl poured me a nice brandy. Itold my story all over again to Silvia Marcela, Ana’s mother.

She looked atmy nose – the swelling and discoloration were gone but it still wasn’t athing of beauty. She carefullylooked at the scar forming over the hole in my head, and looked sad.

She finallyfinished with her questions and left the room. Raúl shrugged his shoulders and offered me a small, pungentcigar. Everything considered Ithought it prudent to go ahead and smoke it.

About tenminutes later Silvia came back into the room. “Señor Charlie, please, the phone.” She said as she pointedtowards the instrument setting on a table. She motioned for Raúl to leave the room with her and quietlyclosed the door. I picked up thephone and instantly heard the click of the extension being replaced.

Really havingno idea what was going on, I answered, “This is Charlie.”

I could hearthe soft sobs as she answered, “Oh, Charlie! God, I’m so sorry.” She started crying hard – I waited for her to gather herself. “Mom told me about your fall. I just saw Candy kissing you and Ithought … Charlie, I thought you weren’t serious about me. I was shocked, I feltbetrayed. I grabbed the girls andran to the car. I didn’t see youfall. Oh, you know I would havecome to you … even if, even if you didn’t love me.

“Please don’thate me – I couldn’t stand that. My girls need you … I need you. Please come to me.”

“Ana, I loveyou, more than anything. Iwas so scared because I didn’t know how to find you. I was desperate.”

“Please come tome, Charlie,” she said again.

We talked for awhile then I went to find her parents. I gave her mom a hug for helping me out and told her that everythinglooked okay.

I flew out thenext day for Miami. They wereliving in two rented houses in Ft. Lauderdale until they could figure out whatto do. They, consisting of herin-laws, and her brother and his wife were in one house and her sister, Ana andthe two girls were in the house next door.

Ana picked meup at the airport in Miami. It wasso good to hold her. She feltterrible about not being in the hospital with me, but I just shrugged, “Ana,it’s in the past and we can’t change it. Let’s learn what we can from it, about trusting each other and alwaystalking before we do anything drastic. Being with you now is all that matters to me.”

“Charlie, whatyou did for my dad, thank you. Yourisked your life to save his. Youare a good man.”

It was latewhen we got to her house and everyone was asleep. Her sister got up when she heard the door and went rightback to bed after Ana introduced us. Ana led us right into her bedroom, which was the master bedroom of thehouse.

I needed toshower from the trip and as I was soaping up Ana squeezed in with me. It was a lot more crowded than thebathroom we’d had in the suite but I wasn’t complaining. We didn’t really do anything, justsoaped each other up and got out.

While I wasdrying I looked around the bathroom, curious to see if she had the diaphragmon. When I went into thebedroom Ana was already lying down, with a pink gown on, this time withpanties.

Not wanting tomake a mistake about it, I asked, “Do you have your diaphragm on?”

“No, Charlie, Idon’t need it anymore.”

“I guess youstarted your birth control pills, then?”

“No, Charlie,”she said patiently, “I can’t start the pills until I start my period.”

I swear she wassmirking at me. Maybe I was justtoo tired to understand. “Issomething wrong with you?”

“No, love,something is exactly right. I’mexpecting!”

I guess Ilooked confused.

“Charlie, I’m pregnant .”

“You’repregnant?”

“Yes, honey, I think you finally figured it out.”

“But how? When?”

“Well, the whenis obvious ... probably that first time on the ship. The how is a bit more complicated. There are these bees and then there aresome birds ...”

I threw thepillow at her and pinned her to the bed. “Really? Honest to God,really?”

I put my ear onher abdomen, listening.

“Baby, you’rehopeless. You can’t hear anythingfor a long time. But as long asyou are down there …”

I took that asan invitation, and after twenty minutes of vigorous activity, we fell into adeep sleep.

About eight thenext morning, there was a soft knock on the door, and it opened a crack, “Ana,honey, you have about two minutes to get decent if you aren’t already and thenthe girls will be coming in.

Ana put a robeon and I pulled on my boxers and a tee shirt. Shortly afterwards, the girls bounded in all excited, andjumped on top of us on the bed.

Ana introducedus and they each gave me a slobbery kiss on the cheek. They were really cute but I didn’t havea clue about how to tell them apart.

Later I made asuggestion to Ana and she agreed. Two days later we drove up to Orlando andDisney World for three days. Ithought it would give us time to bond. They loved it and Ana and I had a lot of fun too. We did get to know each other muchquicker than we would have otherwise.

Candy sold thehouse in Castle Rock and sent me a check for half the proceeds. We bought a house closer to Miami so Iwouldn’t have to drive too far.

I did startworking out of Miami and started doing training sessions there instead of onthe road. I was gradually able toplan my trips better and to travel less. The business grew and they hired someone to work in Spain and Portugaland I only needed to travel there for the rare emergency. I traveled mostly in LatinAmerica.

We got marriedat the parish we went to a week before Christmas. My mom and dad flew out and Ana’s parents came from Chile,and both sets of parents stayed for the holidays.

It was severalyears before we were finally able to take the cruise. We kept the smaller Royal Family Suite like we had beforebecause of the two bedrooms. Ana’s sister stayed in one, the girls on the sofa bed in the livingroom, and the baby with us. Weflew to Barcelona and took the ship back to Miami.

Terry hadretired but Jens was the captain again and was glad to have us aboard. On the second night of the cruise wehad dinner with Jens and his first officer. Carolina, Ana’s sister, fell for Jen’s assistant like a tonof bricks, so we were happy to give her a lot of time alone … well, not alone,but not with us.

Occasionally, Ilook back to that day I read Candy’s note and how I felt at the time –not knowing then it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

The love thatAna and I shared only got better as time passed. We never had any more children after Juan Carlos but he wasenough. He grew into a tall, goodlooking young man with wavy black hair he liked to wear long. His sisters confided in me that all thegirls at his school got weak in the knees whenever he passed by.

The twins grewinto great beauties … and that led to my premature gray hair.

It was a goodlife; a great life and we lived it to the fullest.

Road Warrior - Barcelona