This story is a work of fiction.  Any resemblance to real persons is unintentional and
strictly coincidental.  If you are below the age of 18, or 21 depending on your locality,
stop reading right now. If your government prohibits erotic literature, stop reading now
and delete this. If you choose to continue, that is your decision -- and your responsibility
-- not mine.  This is intended solely for adults, and any other rebroadcast, retransmission,
and account of the game is strictly prohibited by the National Hockey League. Wait --The
NHL doesn't care --I care. Any unauthorized redistribution of this is in violation of
copyright. I authorize this to be archived in its entirety, except for a fee.

This is Copyright 1999 by 
John3365A@aol.com. 
All rights reserved.
         

   I Love Golf
   by John A
   
           The grounds keeper let me on the course early, in fact I was the only
   one playing. Actually I was the only one who had played this course for
   weeks. Despite this, or perhaps because of it, the grounds keeper was
   keeping the course in particularly good condition lately. I'd noticed that the
   little things were being done to keep the course in good shape; the fairways
   and putting surfaces were carefully trimmed, and the bunkers were raked
   meticulously. For my part, I'd always been careful with my play as well. If
   I made a divot, I always replaced it neatly. I made sure that I was careful
   around the green, and I never pressured the grounds keeper to play the back
   nine first. Actually I hadn't yet gotten around to playing the back nine. I
   found that just playing the front nine of this beautiful course was more than
   enough for me. And those couple of days when the course was having
   drainage problems, I just walked the grounds with the grounds keeper, not
   pressuring her to play at all.

     Of course, I'd played many other types of courses before this one, but
   for the past month or so, I'd just played this one exclusively. I suppose
   that's why the grounds keeper let me come over early. I just needed to play
   golf that morning.

     I took out my driver, the mighty one wood. Clutching it tightly, I
   stood surveying the lush fairway before me. I took a few practice swings
   with my wood, getting myself warmed up. I approached the tee and swung
   as mightily as I could, splitting the fairway with my powerful drive.             

          Looking down the fairway, I could see the result of my first swing
   right down the middle. Approaching it again, I got my wood and gripped it
   firmly, preparing to cleave through the fairway again. I had a great lye, it
   was as if the grass just parted for me.

          I noticed how thick and lush this particular fairway was. I loved golf
   and I enjoyed playing on fairways that were thick. I had played on all types
   of courses, long ones and short ones. There were courses that were wide
   and ones that were narrow. I liked the somewhat wide courses, I felt that I
   had more leeway with my shots. With a wide course, there was more to
   enjoy and explore. I didn't like them too wide, that wasn't enjoyable to me;
   but a course that had character, with nicely curving fairways, that was what
   I liked.  Some narrow courses were enjoyable too; but some of them would
   play easily one day, and be unplayable on other days. Not trying to make
   generalizations, I felt that some narrow courses required too much
   maintenance, whereas courses that were a more naturally contoured with
   the surrounding land were much more relaxed to play, and more enjoyable
   to be around.

          One time, I played a course that was totally bare, all dirt. The
   grounds keeper one day just removed all the grass. I didn't understand why,
   but the grounds keeper said that the course would be more responsive to
   my play that way. And there were those courses in the desert, which had
   just strips of fairway surrounded by bare dirt. There was a course I played
   in Arizona like that once. The course was so nice, I was thinking that I
   could have played just that course for the rest of my life. But things didn't
   work out, and it became a private course. I still think longingly about that
   course sometimes.

        Of course, you have to watch out for courses with crabgrass. That
   can seriously ruin your game. A friend of mine played a course that was
   loaded with crabgrass once. He kept going on about how beautiful a course
   it was, how other people were impressed that he was playing a course as
   nice as that one. Then he noticed crabgrass one day, and his play just took a
   nose dive. He wasn't able to play golf for a few months after that. Needless
   to say, he didn't play that course again. Now, he makes sure that he gets to
   know the grounds keeper very well before he plays a course. And he
   always keeps his clubs covered now, too.

          This course was a links course, essentially designed around the
   surrounding land. It was hilly in spots, though not too hilly to make if out
   of proportion. I didn't like the courses where the grounds keeper made the
   hills artificially large. They just didn't look right to me. This course had flat
   areas as well, in fact the fairways were very level, but not flat to the point
   of being like a parking lot. The course was about average in length, I'd
   played longer, but this course wasn't easy by any means. I had to get to
   know the grounds keeper very well before I was allowed to play.

          I swung once again, ripping my wood shot down the middle again. I
   was on fire that day. My shots were right down the middle, parting the lush
   fairway smoothly. I was very satisfied with my play, and I noticed the
   grounds keeper looking at me, smiling, apparently impressed with my
   powerful drives.

          I took a minute to inspect the fairway closely. The grass was smooth
   and even, and very clean. I couldn't help but run my hands through the soft
   grass, wet with the morning dew, I'd assumed. I gazed at the grounds
   keeper, very impressed with the care taken to keep the fairway, and indeed
   the entire course, in such good condition.        

          I realized that I was spending too much time running my fingers
   through the grass, and the grounds keeper was getting a little impatient with
   my slow play, although flattered by all of my attention to the fairway.           
     
          I was ready to take my next swing, but was nearing my objective and
   needed to try another approach. I decided to go with a wedge, the perfect
   club for the delicate area just nearest the green. I chipped my wedge, and I
   was really close. Perhaps one or two putts and I would reach my objective.

          Approaching the putting surface, I knew that my putter was ready to
   its business. I wasn't that far away, and I knew that I might be done in just
   one more stroke. The grounds keeper looked on attentively, hanging on my
   every movement. She, too, was a true golf fan and I could tell that she was
   getting more and more excited by my play. She was yelling her
   encouragement to me as I approached the green, imploring me to finish the
   hole.

          I studied the green, knowing that I was just instants from holing out.
   Clutching my putter, I concentrated on the task at hand. I gave one final
   swing of my club and there it was. IT'S IN THE HOLE.

          "Yes!" The grounds keeper screamed.

          I, too, was excited. The feeling of making a putt is one I never forget.
   And each time I make another putt, the exhilaration that fills me is nothing
   like anything else I've ever felt.

          I dropped my club, too overwhelmed to hold it any longer and the
   grounds keeper came up to me to congratulate me on my success. I placed
   my club and ball back in my bag and began to walk off the green with her.   
     
          "You know, you're only going to be able to play one hole this
   morning. I have to water the course, and then leave to run some
   errands,"she told me.     

          "That's ok. I have to get to work anyway."
   
          I love golf!
   
   -----------------
   Copyright 1999
   John3365a@aol.com
   All Rights Reserved
   