This Wife Wants to Experience Other Men, Is Ready to Play

I'm not really sure how to start this.  I'm a 35-year-old Hispanic married woman.  I have been married to the same man for 15 years.  He has been the only man in my sex life.  

But, before I go into the details, let tell you something that happened about 10 years ago.  My husband and I were in Las Vegas for the first time.  One night we went out to dinner at a very nice restaurant.  I had dressed very sexy in a short dress, which my husband likes to see me wear.  

Since I'm 5' 7" and 125 lbs, I have been told I have "a killer body."  Men do notice.  Anyway after dinner we were driving around the strip, just looking.  We happened to go by an adult bookstore, and my husband told me he wanted to stop and take a look.  I said, "No way I'm not going in there."  I was a kind of naive at the time.  

But, I was not so naive that I didn't have a notion as to the type of people that go there, and some of the things that go on there.  He said, "Come on.  It's ok, no one knows us in Vegas anyway."  Then I said a flat no.  

He never brought it up again.  In the back of my mind I was thinking that he wanted me to go into one of those places because of how I was dressed.  I felt people were going to think I was a hooker or something.  You have to understand that I was brought up in a strict Catholic environment.  

Well, about two months ago we had a party.  We had a lot of friends over, and something took place that I still think about.  We have friends that we known for a long time, and we hang around with.  They are all married couples.  

Anyway, we were setting around talking and drinking wine.  We opened the last bottle, and I said, "I'll be right back.  I'll go get more out of the case."  My best friend's husband said, "I'll go help you," since the wine was in a storeroom in the garage.  We were going back laughing small talk, like lots of times.  

We went into the garage, and as usual had to move my husband's junk out of the way to get the wine.  I started to pick up something, and he said, "Wait.  It looks heavy."  He came from behind to take it.  As part of his body touched mine, I trembled, and he picked up on it.  

I had caught him looking lustfully at me over the years more times that I could count.  As soon as I turned around he pinned me to the wall and kissed me.  It caught me by complete surprise.  I tired to push back, but I found myself returning the kiss.  I totally lost it.  I could not stop his advances.  

He was running his hand up my body, which no man other than my husband had ever done since we married.  I lost all inhibition.  My head was spinning.  By then he was having to hold me up.  He picked me up, and at the same time lifted my skirt up to my waist, and sat me down on a freezer we had there.  

With my legs spread apart I did say, "It's wrong.  We are both married, and you are my best friend's husband."  What he said floored me, "It's ok.  We have an open marriage."  I had no idea, and I had known them for a lot of years.  

As he was starting to pull my panties down I came to my senses, or we both did.  I heard my husband and some other people coming out.  As we walked out, my husband said, "Hey, there you are."  He just smiled at me and went on.  

I'm not sure if he noticed anything.  He has said nothing.  I know he has an idea of what was going on, because he knows me.  Now I'm having all kinds of thoughts about what happened... wondering about the idea of having another man inside me... what would it be like.  

Then I came across your web site, and started reading about "hot wives" "wife sharing," and other ways women enjoy new lovers.  I remember the time my husband wanted me to go into that adult bookstore.  I wonder if I should have let him take me in there.  It may have opened my eyes much earlier.

I would really like to actually feel a new man within me, and to feel how a man other than my husband makes love.  I do not want to do anything behind his back.  We are happily married, and I love him very much, but now I have these feelings.  I'm now to the point that I'm open to anything.

"Frustrated"


Dear "Frustrated,"  

Maybe it is time for you to talk to him about that time in Vegas... to tell him that you have been re-considering, and that maybe it would be fun for the two of you to visit an adult bookstore.  Tell him that as he is making love to you.

Then, assuming he bites, when the two of you go, encourage him to pick out a couple adult videos to bring home for your shared viewing.  You might even pick out a vibrator or two, and some sensuous (flavored?) sex play lubes.

Believe me, when you return home with those things, your sex will be hot that night.  No doubt any video he chooses will include scenes of women enjoying more than one man.  That's your opportunity.  Let him know with bodily actions and subtle words that that scene turns you on.  Let him know that you have recently been wondering what it would be like to have two men making love to you at once, or wondering what it would be like to have sex with a new partner.

Naturally you will want to immediately follow up with assurances that it is only he who you love.  Gauge his reactions.  If he finds the idea repugnant, you will probably want to drop the subject.  But, likely he will be turned-on by your admission (be it ever so minimal). 

Encourage him to bring home more adult videos... ones with themes he likes.  Then, while the two of you are viewing them in the privacy of your bedroom, ask him why he chose that one... what scenes turn him on?  Ask him if he thinks couples really do the things depicted in the videos.  Tell him you have heard about "open marriages," and "wife sharing" sorts of things, and ask him if he thinks any of your friends are into that sort of thing.

If you open up communication with your husband about sexual things, particularly things that turn you on... I am reasonably certain he will respond favorably (unless he is very self-centered or very narrow-minded)... and things can progress from there.  Keep me posted.

Love,
Joan

