This short story is set just before the start of Grant Morrison's brilliant DC Comics maxi-series Seven Soldiers of Victory and details the brief relationship that Zatanna and Dr Thirteen had leading into it. All characters are TM and (C) DC Comics. This is a work of parody.

Zatanna:

Hex Appeal

13 weeks.

That's how long, appropriately enough, Zatanna had been seeing Dr Terry Thirteen for. It was a relationship that had by all rights taken her completely by surprise. If Zatanna were to picture her perfect man, she had to admit to herself that Terry wouldn't be the first guy -- or even the thirteenth guy -- who would leap to mind. It's not that he was unattractive...quite the opposite, in fact. She liked the whole geek chic thing he had going on, and his body was certainly nothing to sneeze at.

But his scepticism in regard to the supernatural was something that Zatanna was quickly growing to find completely infuriating. No matter how much evidence she showed him of the occult, he always found some way to rationalise it. It might have been cute to start with, in an "opposites attract" kind of way, but now she was just starting to find it exasperating.

As obstinately narrow-minded as he may be, however, he was still a good guy, and Zatanna felt like she owed him a chance. So when he'd asked her along to his book launch in Gotham City, she had of course accepted. She had even resolved to help get him some free publicity by showing up in full costume -- her high heels, fishnet stockings, bustier, tuxedo jacket and top hat.

There was a throng of journalists milling about the entrance as Zatanna showed up, all hurling questions about rumours of her falling out with the Justice League and what she intended to do now. She'd politely offered "No comment" as she'd hurried inside.

But it was no different in there. Every guest wanted to ask her about Batman, or Black Canary, or if she'd be interested in performing at their kid's birthday party. Some were even asking her to sign copies of Terry's book, while completely ignoring the author himself standing next to her.

"I'm so sorry about this." She said after they'd managed to find a quiet corner.

"Don't be," he said with a smile. "We've sold out of every copy."

She laughed, a little surprised at how much of a comfort he was in the midst of all this chaos.

After Terry gave his speech and they'd both taken advantage of the open bar, she offered to split a cab with him back to her place. He'd agreed, of course, but when they'd been dropped off at a vacant lot on the outskirts of the city, he'd been more than a little confused.

"Uh...Zee? You don't live in a tent or something, do you?

"On the contrary," she replied with a smirk and a tip of the hat, before turning to face the rambling estate in front of her. "Raeppa tsercwodas!"

In a whirlwind of sound and fury, a vast mansion came to fill the vacant space, its towering peaks rippling as it unsheathed itself from the parallel dimension it had been occupying until now.

"Wow!" Terry exclaimed, and for a moment Zatanna thought she'd finally convinced him of the existence of magic. "Hologram, right? Or some kind of high-tech, JLA-issue teleportation device?"

Zatanna let out a frustrated sigh.

"Come in." She said, walking him down to the ornate front door.

"This is my place -- Shadowcrest, it's called," she unlocked the door and commanded the lights on. They were standing in a huge receiving room, a chandelier hanging over a curving staircase.

"It's funny, it's been three months now and this is the first time I've seen your place." Terry said from behind her. She felt his arms snake around her waist, his chest against her back and, more importantly, his crotch against her ass. She could tell already that he was aroused.

"Shadowcrest is a very...private place," Zatanna said as she felt Terry's lips on her neck, his hands roaming her body. "I only let in people I trust."

"I'm honoured." He said, his kisses growing longer, his lips parting slightly.

"Mmmm." She moaned as she closed her eyes and tilted her head to the side. She could really feel the champagne she'd had earlier taking full effect. Slowly, he moved her around so that she was facing him, allowing him to brush his lips with hers, inviting her into a kiss.

One kiss led to another, the passion growing, their tongues playing against one another. All the while, Terry's hands continued to explore the curves of Zatanna's body, so frustratingly hidden away by her clothes.

The heat behind their kisses grew stronger and stronger, until it was painfully apparent that a change in venue was imminently needed. They wasted no more time, Zatanna leading the way as, kissing and groping all the while, they stumbled into the room that Zatanna called Shadowcrest's "comfort chamber" -- a small haven dedicated to relaxation, decorated with nothing but soft rugs, candles, and hundreds of harem pillows.

As far as lovers went, Terry was by no means incompetent. Zatanna always enjoyed her time with him, though whatever pleasure he offered her was always of the more earthly variety. She had tried to tutor him in the ways of tantra, much as she had explored with Constantine, but he hadn't really shown that much interest.

She'd attempted to outline the mystic symbolism of the cup and the wand, and how everything they did as a part of sex had greater, universal meeting. The attention Terry paid came across as simple humouring.

Zatanna had been left with no choice but to just accept him and his view of sex for what it was. If he wasn't going to journey with her to realms of other-dimensional pleasure and higher plains of understanding, the least she could get out of him was a damn good fucking.

With the couple having retired to the comfort chamber, Terry seized the chance to quickly pop open each button that lined Zatanna's corset, her large, firm breasts spilling out. He groaned at the sight of them, lowering his head to offer his mouth to them, peppering her with kisses and licking at her nipples.

Zatanna tilted her head back once more, granting him full access, but even as she did she couldn't help but reflect on how unlikely it was that he'd remove much more of her clothing than this. So few men ever did. They always liked her outfit too much.

She felt his hand on her crotch, causing her to cry out in surprise and then coo in pleasure. The warmth of her arousal radiated through the material of her panties, and she knew that there was at least one more piece of clothing she was set to lose.

But not yet.

Slowly, Terry slid his hand inside the tight restraint of her underwear, his fingertips drifting along the soft outer folds of her pussy. Zatanna groaned at his touch, her thighs shifting apart to accommodate him. She shuddered as she felt him part her outer folds to trace the hot moisture he found within.

"Oh, Zee..." he whispered. "You're so wet."

"Inside me," she replied breathlessly. "I want your fingers inside me."

He smiled as he decided to tease her instead, continuing to slide his fingers up and down the length of her, softly flicking her clitoris.

"Oh fuck!" She moaned, her muscles coiling at the sensation. She bit her lip, desperate for more, which he soon indulged her in by pushing two of his fingers deep into her tight, wet softness. "Yes!"

As he started to push his fingers in and out of her, coating them in her juices, his thumb sought out her clit. He brushed it lightly before coming to rub it in circles, his fore and middle fingers pumping her the entire time. She could feel her desire welling inside her, and almost without thinking a spell jumped from her lips.

"Trihs ylf nepo!"

Terry's shirt magically blew open, leaving Zatanna free to kiss and nuzzle his bare chest while the sounds of his fingers squishing in her cunt came to fill the room. As if sensing how close Zatanna was getting, Terry threw her for a sudden surprise by pushing her back down against the pillows and tugging her panties off.

She cooed again as his hands found her inner thighs, pulling apart her pussy and her ass cheeks so she was left splayed open, exposed. He smiled at her, before lowering his head to her lap and with one long, firm stroke licked her from the puckered rosebud of her asshole to the tingling tip of her clitoris.

"Unh!" She cried out, before sliding into a velvety moan. "Ohhhh fuuuck."

He took another lick of her, and then another. His tongue pressed into her parted pussylips, slipping inside her deeper and deeper. Zatanna's head swam in waves of ecstasy as Terry's lapping tongue was joined by his pulsating, drilling fingers.

She could already feel the familiar warmth of orgasm spreading over her, running through her, and as it drew closer she didn't fight it. Instead, she dug her fingers into the pillows beneath her, her curled toes dragging along the rug. She coiled tight, and then exploded.

"Oooohhhhhhhh my Goddddd!" She practically screamed in delight. "I'm cumming! I'm fucking cummmmmmingggggggaaaaaahhhhhh!"

Zatanna lurched, again and again, as wave after wave of bliss rocked her body.

Terry's chin was soon dripping with the evidence of her passion. He looked up at her with a proud little smile on his face. But Zatanna wasn't finished yet.

"Stnap ffo!" She commanded, Terry's pants whipping away with a trail of magic sparkles following in their wake.

"One of these days I'm going to work out how you do those tricks." He said to her as he wiped the back of his palm across his mouth.

"I'm tired of teasing," she replied, sidestepping their endless debate about the reality of magic. "I want you to shut up and fuck my brains out."

She wrapped her stockinged legs around his waist, hoisting him tantalizingly close to her steaming cunt. His member, still trapped by the confinement of his underwear, pressed up against her. He only grinned in response to her, dutifully following her command by quickly stripping off his underpants and positioning the throbbing head of his shaft at her slippery entrance.

Terry wasted no time with ceremony. He slid into Zatanna's wet pussy with one firm, deep push. They both groaned and gasp as he delved deeper and deeper inside her, finally coming to rest at the hilt of his cock. She could feel his pubic hair tickling her stretched pussy lips, his tight balls resting against her the thin wall between her vagina and her anus.

"Oh, Jesus! Zee! You're so fucking tight!" He exclaimed, the full weight of his chest pressing down on her. She scratched her nails through his hair and leaned up to suck his lip. He pulled up and out of her, only the tip of his cock left inside her, before he pushed down again, sliding all the way inside.

With each repetition his actions grew faster, harder, more desperate, until finally he was pumping in and out of her, the head of his cock rasping against the folds of her pussy. Zatanna could feel herself building up to cum again, but she didn't want it to happen again so soon. She wanted it to be more intense this time...and she knew exactly how to do that.

She placed a soft hand against Terry's firm chest, and looked up at him with smouldering eyes. He practically froze in place, without any hint of magic being used. He looked down at her, puzzled.

"I want you..." she said in a hushed, seductive tone. "...to fuck me in the ass."

This was something that Zatanna had of course done before, but until now not with Terry. She almost laughed at the speed of his assent. He pulled himself out of her, his cock's strained helmet exiting with a popping sound.

Zatanna cast him a raised eyebrow and a knowing smirk as she started to work the juices of their combined pleasure between her fingers, massaging her now pulsating cunt. Terry greedily watched her, distracted only for a moment by the sight of the dusky, hardened nipples adorning her full, perfect breasts.

When he returned his gaze to her crotch and her ministrations there, he found her three knuckles deep inside her own pussy. Zatanna closed her eyes and bit her lip, removing her fingers from her vagina to Terry's obvious disappointment, only to run them down to her asshole, rubbing her fluids into her small, pink hole in order to lubricate it.

She breathed out soft little moans as she slid her middle finger inside her ass, lost in the feelings she was offering herself. She was brought back to reality, however, by the feel of Terry's breath on her neck, his lips on her throat, as he gently coaxed her into turning around, positioning her on her hands and knees.

Terry took full advantage of the natural lube that Zatanna had worked into her little hole. Positioning himself against her, he pushed in slowly, sliding bit by tiny bit into Zatanna's ass. Whatever moans she had offered before were positively dwarfed now by the cries of pleasure that escaped her as every smooth inch of Terry's cock came to rest inside her.

"That's it, Terry! Fuck me! Fuck me in my ass!" She panted. For his part, Terry remained quietly stoic, concentrating too much to allow himself to fully surrender to the sensation of being so deep inside the beautiful, raven-haired magician.

Zatanna couldn't help herself. Her hand once again found her pussy, and she quickly began to frig her clit. Terry was a good guy, but at the moment he was just being too damn gentle! She pushed back against him eagerly, needing more of him, needing it harder, faster, now!

He soon got the idea and began to saw back and forth, the front of his thighs slapping against her fishnet stockings.

"Oh fuck! Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck!" Zatanna cried. She pushed back harder and harder, surprising Terry when she suddenly stopped, dropping forward and pushing her ass higher into the air. This small change in position allowed Zatanna to flick her wand free from its hiding place up her sleeve. She gave it a quick kiss, murmuring.

"My trusty old friend," before adding. "Ndaw etarbiv!"

The wand sprang to life in her hand, the sound of vibrations coming to mingle with the slaps and squelches of their union.

She quickly offered the vibrating wand to her pussy, grinding it against her clit with such acute precision that it sent a strong, instantaneous shudder rippling through her entire body. It caused her ass to clench down around Terry's cock, compelling them both to cry out.

Zatanna drove the wand against her clit until it felt like she was going to explode, and then she flicked it up, sliding it deep and fast into her dripping pussy.

"Unh! Unh! Aah! Ooohhhhhhh!" She screamed, pushing the wand further into her cunt. All the while, Terry refused to let up in his thrusting. He was now pounding against Zatanna's ass, causing her cheeks to ripple with each plunge of his cock. His hands came up to grab her tits, squeezing the soft flesh, her nipples hard against his palms.

"Oh fffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuck!" Zatanna cried out, the wand vibrating as mercilessly as Terry was in fucking her. "I'm going to----!----to!"

The lights in the room began to burn hot, then flickered, as Zatanna screamed through clenched teeth. Her pussy swelled around her wand as every muscle in her body went rigid.

"----cccuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmm!"

It was as if the room was hit by a lightning strike as Zatanna erupted. The lights blazed off and on, the fireplace on the other side of the room roared to sudden life.

Zatanna's breath exploded from her thick and ragged as every ounce of her being luxuriated in the sparkling sensation of utter, physical joy.

If Terry noticed any of the unusual phenomena happening all around him, he gave no sign of it. Instead, with his brow creased and dripping with sweat, he focused solely on the ripe, firm flesh beneath him, and the sense of imminent release that hovered in front of him.

"Oh, God, Zatanna!" He said, the feeling of every inch of his lover's body quivering beneath him proving too much. "I'm...I'm going to cum too!"

"In my mouth!" She cried, not missing a beat. "Cum in my mouth!"

In one swift motion Terry pulled out of Zatanna's ass to offer his cock to her, while she in turn swung around, her lips parting. She grabbed his hard shaft and pumped one, two, three times as her mouth found his engorged helmet. She could already taste the bitter tang of his pre-cum. She squeezed him hard, milking him, as he started to shoot his hot load inside her mouth.

"Oh sssshhhhhhhhit!" He grunted as Zatanna moaned around his cock, her throat glugging as she swallowed every drop of his cum, his elixir of life. It was salty and thick, and with the right amount running through her system Zatanna knew at least half a dozen rituals she could perform after he left.

"Oh God...oh God..." Terry murmured, his shaft still throbbing in Zatanna's mouth and in her hand as she milked him for all she could. Finally her mouth slackened, leaving him to fall away from her, landing in the harem pillows.

Her lips and chin were left coated in a mixture of her saliva and his semen. She used her fingertips to clean herself up, running her tongue over the liquid she collected as she wiped herself off. She found a few spare drops that had splattered on her breasts, which she quickly dabbed up, offered to her lips and murmured,

"Mmmm, Terry...that was exactly what I needed. Was it..."

Her thought was left broken at the sight of him sprawled out naked on the pillows, snoring.

"...Good for you too?" Zatanna sighed. She prodded him, but all he did was stir before rolling over, his back to her.

Zatanna quickly gave up the idea of any kind of pillow talk, and elected instead to go for a shower. As she lathered herself up under the warm jets of water, she wondered to herself exactly what the hell she was doing. She could rationalise it all she wanted, but the fact of the matter was that she and Terry were just incompatible. She was wasting her time.

She dried off with another quick spell, and after pulling a robe around herself she walked out to the comfort chamber, fully resolved to wake him up and dump him there and then. But instead she found him already up and fully dressed.

"Ah, there you are," he said. "I'm sorry, Zee, I have to get going. The babysitter will be having a fit wondering where I am. I've already called a cab."

"Oh...uh...yeah, okay." She said, caught off-guard.

She walked him to the front door, where he stopped to talk to her.

"I had an incredible night." He said, kissing her gently.

"Yeah..." she replied. "...Me too."

"We're still on for Friday, right?"

"Huh?" Zatanna replied, confused.

"The séance thing, or whatever it is," Terry said. "At your friend's place?"

"Oh, right! Of course, yeah." Zatanna had completely forgotten. She'd agreed to take Terry along to a ritual at Winter's mansion. It had been at the height of her campaign to prove the existence of magic to Terry.

"I'm looking forward to it," Terry said. "Though I still say it's all stage tricks."

"You'll see. You'll be eating your words in three days time."

"Sure I will, Zatanna, sure I will." He said in a voice that was meant to be humorously mocking but just came across hopelessly patronising. There was a honk from outside. The cab was waiting.

They shared a final goodnight kiss and he was on his way. Zatanna stood watching him leave for a moment, before closing the door behind her.

All these years and still no closer to finding the man of her dreams. Walking into her private office, she pulled the robe off and pulled on a pair of spare stockings. It was a lucky thing Terry had reminded her about the ritual that was coming up. She'd meant to purify herself in preparation for it earlier in the evening, but had obviously been completely sidetracked.

As she sat down on the carpet to begin the meditative practices necessary, her mind wandered once more to Terry. With his semen still in her belly, it occurred to her that, should she select the right purification trance, she could be shown a vision of her perfect man.

No, she sighed. That kind of magic was always too risky.

Or was it?

One thing was certain, however. A 14th week with Dr Thirteen was completely out of the cards.

...No matter how good the sex may be.