Author: Hungry Guy
Title: LONG DONG SILVER 
Summary: Be careful where you stick it -- it might get stuck! 
Keywords: MF M/F WM WF Mpov 1st oral anal cons 
Language: english

LONG DONG SILVER 
BY:  Hungry Guy (hungry@stoolmail.zzn.com)

    John Silver had a long dong.  I mean he had a _really_ long dong!  The result of a genetic birth defect, it was over 30' long!  He wrapped it around his body, up his chest and back down again, several times, like a spool of wire.  He wore tight-fitting underwear to hold it in place.  He avoided erotic thoughts and fantasies in public, for he bulged out like the _Michelin Man_ whenever he did.  He had occasionally considered getting it surgically shortened to, say, a more manageable 12 to 15 inches, but the idea of _shortening_ one's cock seemed, well, bizarre.

    Despite his gift, he had never been laid.  He had never had the guts to make an advance toward a woman, fearing her reaction when things got intimate.  

    He even went so far to get into a freelance writing career so that he could work from home and not have to go to a 9-to-5 job.  

    However, that didn't mean he stayed homebound his whole life.  One Friday night, he was in his neighborhood watering hole.  He never went there looking to get lucky--he actually avoided women whom he caught checking him out from a distance.  

    He had just finished his beer and had gone to the men's room.  As he came out, a woman ambushed him by the door and asked, "Is it true that you don't like women?"

    "Uhm, huh?" is all that he could say.  Checking her out, she was really cute.  She was a redhead with short straight hair and big brown eyes, and she was a little shorter than he was.  She looked hot in a plain white blouse and tight jeans.  

    "I've been watching you," she went on, "and I can tell you're not gay."

    "I, er, well," he continued his end of the dialog.

    "So what's your story?" she persisted.

    "I, uhm," he continued keeping the discourse alive.

    "Listen, I'm an egalitarian girl.  Why don't you buy me a drink, and I'll buy you one?  Deal?"

    "I guess so," he replied his first coherent statement to her.

    "Good," she answered putting her arm around his waist, then shrieked, "Oh my!"

    Every head at the bar turned at her outburst.

    Feeling his face turn beet-red, he answered, "It's nothing.  I -- uhm -- excuse me," and pulled away from her to leave.

    "Oh no!  You're not going anywhere until you tell me what that is!"  She rubbed her hand up his back, under his arms, and down his chest.  Despite his best efforts, he got so hard, and felt himself inflating like the Michelin Man.  He knew that she felt it too.

    "Oh!  My!  God!" she stepped back grabbing his arm.

    "I'm -- I'm -- I'm sorry," he stammered and tried to pull away from her again.

    "I don't think you have anything to be sorry for; except for hiding from me these past few weeks that I've seen you in here and you've ignored me."

    "Please," he begged, "I don't mean to be rude, but I think I should go now."

    "Fine with me!" she answered.  Without releasing his arm, she reached for a coat on a table by the men's room door.  "My coat's right here.  Let's go!  By the way, my name's Kim."

    "Nice to meet you, Kim.  I'm John."  Resigned to his predicament, and even slightly elated to be going home with a woman for the first time in his life, he escorted Kim out of the bar to his car.  He opened the door for her and helped her in, then got in the driver's side.  John was hard the whole way home being that Kim couldn't keep her hands off him.  

    At one point, she said to him in the car, "Please understand, John, that I don't normally do this."

    "Do what?" he asked.

    "You know--go home with guys I just met."

    "Yeah, I understand," he answered.

    "I'm sure you do," she replied with a grin. 

    Once up in his apartment, she really turned on the aggression.  "Want me to show you around?" he asked. 

    "I just want you to show me what you got under there!" she answered still pawing and kneading his chest.

    He led her into his bedroom, and took off his denim shirt.  His undershirt looked like a flimsy tarp over a wound up coil of hose. 

    "Don't stop now!" she urged.

    He pulled his undershirt up over his head and his long dong flopped down to his waist.

    "Holy shit!" she screamed.  "Let me see the rest!  Please!"

    Scared shitless for getting naked in front of this strange woman, he pulled his pants down and then his underpants.  At that, his dong flopped and unwound to his feet.

    "I'm in heaven!  I think I'm going to faint!" she gasped.  She walked up to him, raised her chin to his, and then asked, "Do you want the honors?"

    "Huh?  What do you mean?" he asked.

    "C'mon!  Don't keep a lady waiting!" she urged as she raised her arms straight up over her head and waited.

    In a flash of understanding, he lifted her white blouse and pulled it up over her head.  He could see her nipples rock-hard through her bra.  "That's next," she urged, catching his eye.

    "Uhm, how?" he asked.  

    "You don't know?" she exclaimed.

    "Uhm, no.  Sorry."

    She reached over her head and unsnapped her bra and handed it to him.  Then she kicked her shoes off, pulled her jeans down, and pulled her panties down and off.

    As he was standing there gawking at her, she finally pointed to the bed next to which they were standing and asked, "Is that your bed?" 

    "Yes," he answered and sat on it.

    She slid her butt over his legs and sat on his lap.  After the briefest hesitation, their lips met and began kissing and sucking and exploring each other's mouths with their tongues.  As they were kissing, he felt her grab his dong and knead it with her hand.  

    A few moments later, she pushed him down on the bed on his back, fell down on top of him, rolled to her side and pulled his mouth to one of her nipples.  

    Taking his cue, he began sucking on the nipple, making it even harder than it had been already.  A few minutes later, she pulled back and switched nipples.  

    A little after both her nipples had been well sucked, she crawled up to his head and swung a leg over his head.  Then she gently lowered her red muff onto his face, pressing her pussy tightly to his mouth.  "Suck my cunt!  Make me come!" she demanded.

    He had no idea what to do, so he started licking.  It tasted really gamy, and was really moist.  He stuck his tongue in one large opening that was drenched in wetness, then licked up until he came to a bump where the folds of skin seemed to come together. 

    "Oh yes!  Lick my clit!  Don't stop!"  

    He continued licking the lump that was, presumably, her clit.  He could feel himself getting harder and harder.  

    "Oh my God!" she yelled again.  "Your cock is doing an impression of the Saint Louis arch!"

    He could feel his cock so hard that it was jutting straight up from his pelvis and arching out over his legs and back down to the floor, where it went on to do a pretty good impression of a pressurized fire hose throbbing around the perimeter of the room.

    A moment later, as he continued licking and sucking her clit, she started bouncing and quaking while sitting on his face.  He continued sucking and licking until she finally fell forward on him.  

    "That was pretty good.  Now it's your turn."

    He was lying there under her, staring up at the ceiling from between her thighs with her cunt in his nose and her ass cheeks directly over his head.  

    Her face was staring right into his crotch and he felt her grab his cock and reel it in, all 30' of it, until she had the head of his cock in her hand.  

    "I've been told that I'm pretty good at taking it all down my throat, but this might be a challenge," she laughed. 

    _Oh my God!_ he thought as he felt her take the head of his cock into her mouth and swallow it.  She didn't stop either.  She continued sucking it in like a strand of spaghetti.  He felt his cock being swallowed deeper and deeper down her throat.  Minutes past as she continued swallowing it, deeper and deeper.  

    He could feel her throat muscles knead the section that had passed through her throat, finally triggering his explosive release.  

    He grunted and moaned as his cock throbbed, as wads of cum traversed its 30' length.  "Yeouch!" he yelped as he felt his cock's head enter her stomach with it's burning stomach acids.  

    _Maybe this isn't such a good idea._ he wondered silently to himself as she continued to suck it in, slowly, inch by inch.  He felt the pain fade as his cock's head passed through another tight sphincter.

    His breathing was getting heavier and heavier under the weight of her body on top of his as she relentlessly swallowed his cock deeper and deeper.

    _How deep can she take it?_ he wondered.  _There must be some limit to how far in it can go!_  

    Many more minutes passed as she continued to swallow it.  He felt his cock being twisted as it was passing through her intestines.  

    After a while longer, it felt to him like she has swallowed about half of it when she let out a noisy fart just above his face.

    "Hrry aouh hat!" she mumbled as the vibrations on his cock down her throat set him off again.

    Still more minutes passed, and she started farting more and more frequently.  He felt his cock being twisted and turned and squeezed more and more as she continued to take it down her throat.  

    Suddenly, John panicked when he saw her anus sphincter start to bulge and pucker.  _Oh God no!  Please don't shit on my face, Kim!_  But a moment later, he saw the head of his cock emerge from her anus.  The sensation was so bizarre because, for a moment, he felt his cock's head pass through such a tight sphincter, then emerge into cool air.   

    Still, she continued to suck and wallow it down her throat.  He could feel that she had almost reach the end where his cock was attached to his crotch.  The more she swallowed, the more oozed out of her asshole.  

    Then, he saw her hands reach from over her ass cheeks trying to grab his cock coming from her asshole.  Upon grabbing it, she seemed to be trying to push it down toward his face.  

    "Uhch we!  Uhch we!" she mumbled.

    Finally figuring out that she was trying to say, "fuck me," he reached up and grabbed his cock and pushed it into her pussy.

    The sensation, once again, made him explode.  His cum traversing down his cock, through her body and into her pussy, right before his eyes was an incredible sight that no other guy could ever have.  

    She finally swallowed it as far as she could, with her mouth pressed tightly against his crotch.  They lay like that for a long while until she then tried to reverse the procedure.

    However, that proved less than successful.  When she tried to pull her mouth away from his crotch and slide his cock back up her throat, she just yanked it with a "Yeowch!"

    She grabbed the end sticking out her ass, and tried to push it back up her ass while pulling her mouth away from his crotch.  The only result was that her asshole squeezed another two inches _out._

    They both spent the next few hours, rolling around the bed, one on top, then the other, struggling to push his cock back into her ass while pulling it out of her mouth.  All that effort accomplished nothing except to cause her to swallow a fraction of an inch _more_ into her mouth, forcing her mouth even more firmly against his crotch, and pushing another inch out her asshole.  

    Eventually, they both fell asleep exhausted.  John woke in the morning lying on top of her.  His crotch was pressed as tightly to her lips as before, maybe even more so.  He also noticed that her lower abdomen was suddenly swollen, too, looking like she was several months pregnant.  He discovered than when he pressed down on her belly, he could feel his cock being squished and twisted.

    "Ummmmhhhhh!  Ummmhhhh!" Kim hummed and waved her arms frantically with his cock still down her throat.  In her panic, she started gagging and choking, her body bucking wildly against him.  "Kim!  Calm down!" he urged, leaning down and rubbing her shoulders and back.

    The sensations of her gagging on his cock were so intense that he came all over the floor between her legs.  Then she quickly regained her composure.  

    He said, "I'm sorry Kim.  I don't know what to do.  I'll call my doctor on Monday.  I don't know what else to tell you."

    She seemed to settle down at that, and so he went about his business the rest of the weekend -- making himself breakfast, catching a game on TV, surfing the internet, doing laundry, cleaning, sitting on the toilet, showering, and sleeping -- all while she was crawling around on her knees with her mouth plastered to his crotch. 

    One time, while he was standing in his kitchen, she started mumbling and waving her arms.  "I don't know what you're trying to tell me, Kim."

    A moment later, he felt her anus sphincter squeeze his cock as it had been doing regularly, then he felt the strangest sensation against where his cock emerged from her anus. 

    He smelled it a second later.  She had taken a shit on the floor.  Squeezing her shit out her asshole around his sock.

    "Shit!" he exclaimed, then went to his broom closed and got out a brush and pan and mop to pick it up and drip it in the toilet and clean the floor.  After that, he allowed her to squat in the bathtub a few times each day to pee and shit. 

    Monday morning, he called his doctor who had been a close family friend since he was a baby and who was familiar with his birth defect, and explained his predicament.  The doctor came over that afternoon and examined the two of them.

    After examining them, the doctor explained, "There's no much I can do to separate the two of you without some severe consequences for one or both of you."

    "Like what?" he asked.    

    "Well, I can amputate your penis at your groin and let her swallow and pass it."

    "No way!" he shouted.

    "Or I can surgically remove it from her.  But that would mean cutting her open from her chin to her crotch, removing her stomach and intestines and laying them out straight, and then slicing her digestive tract apart and removing it from around your penis.  Unfortunately, that would be fatal for her, I'm afraid."

    "No!  You can kill her either!  She's the closest I've ever came to having a girlfriend!"

    "Quite right.  Causing her death is out of the question."

    "What's left, then?" he asked the doctor.

    "Remain connected," the doctor answered.

    "Stay connected?  Like Siamese twins?"

    "Exactly," the doctor insisted, "I'll be right back."

    Then John felt her bite down slightly on his cock and he let out a "Yeow!"

    The doctor turned and asked, "What happened?" 

    "She bit me!  I don't think she wants to stay connected to me." 

    "Well, there's not much I can do -- either amputate your penis, or extricate your penis from her body." 

    "Yeowch!  Ow!  Ow!  Ouuch!  She's biting me again!" 

    "Pinch her jaw open and hold it.  I'll be right back," the doctor said and went out to his van and returned a moment later with some medical supplies.  

    The doctor first placed a metal wire device over and in Kim's mouth, saying, "This is a jaw spreader.  It'll keep her from biting you.  Turn this knob here to force her jaw open wider or to let her close it." 

    John turned the knob a little, and it was Kim's turn to let out a "Eeeooohh!" 

    "Don't turn it more than necessary, or you'll hurt her," the doctor said.

    "Sorry, Kim," John said, loosening the knob slightly, "but that did feel good when you tried to yell."

    The doctor then gave John a box of adult diapers, saying, "You can have her wear these diapers, or you can just let her do her business in the bathtub a few times a day as you've been doing.  Whatever works for you." 

    "Okay," John answered

    He set some IV bags and some off looking needles on the table, saying, "You'll need to feed her intravenously, here's how."

    The doctor showed him how to inject her with the IV needle and give her an IV drip, saying, "She won't pass solid waste any more, but she'll urinate very frequently."

    "I see," John answered.

    "That's about it.  I'll bring you a supply of IV bags each week.  Call me if you have any questions or problems."

    "Thanks, Doc," He answered.   

    After the doctor left, he said to Kim, "Sorry Kim, but I guess your body is a permanent extension of my cock, now."

    He went over to sit at his computer to write his next week's column.  He still had to earn a living.

    * END * 


