NOTES ON ONEIDA

by Holly Rennick

annotation by Cindi Barton

"History is more or less bunk."  Henry Ford

"Well this history isn't."  Holly Rennick

"Those who don't remember the past are condemned to repeat it."  George Santayana

"But could we give this one another run-through?"  Cindi Barton

AUTHOR'S COMMENTS:

The upcoming NEA Teachers of Language State Conference is soliciting papers dealing with "Language for Leadership".  If I get something accepted, District foots the bill.  Plus it would look good as a "Professional Activity" in my annual review.  Otherwise, I have to go to PTA meetings.  So what I'm going to do is write "Cohabitive Control by Verbal Dominance, the Oneida Story".  It's more engaging than "FDR's Fireside Chats" that Doris Mullins read last year.

The Oneida Community, New York, was one of the more successful utopian communes in history.  They were "Christian Perfectionism", seeking an environment suitable to shield themselves from sin in the 1800's.  They couldn't do it these days, of course.

Because Adam and Eve were created innocent and we, as little children, have no shame, humans must be innately sinless, the Perfectionists rationalized.  "The church on earth," they hoped, "is now rising to meet the approaching kingdom in the heavens, and to become its duplicate and representative on earth."  In the perfect environment, man might live his life purely.  (Sorry for the sexism, but that's how they put it.)

The Oneida Community was of interest to H.G. Wells, Aldous Huxley, Julian Huxley, and George Bernard Shaw.  Shaw appended "Experiment at Oneida Creek" in "The Revolutionist's Handbook" to his "Man and Superman".  So my subject has literary merit.

Oneida is today remembered for its silver spoons (Perfectionists were good in business) and what they called "complex marriage" (Perfectionists were good in bed, as we shall see.).  It seems such a shame that the art is lost.  Not the silversmithing art, I mean to say, the other one.

Following are my notes on the Community's chronology.  There are scores of scholarly books on the subject, lots of websites and a substantial collection of original documents archived at Syracuse University.  By all means, check me out.  I didn't junk it up with references, since who cares, but it's real.  Honest.

My NEA paper will analyze the use of language by Oneida's father figure, John Humphrey Noyes, 1811-1886.  How did he justify to the Victorian Era the routine exchange of sexual partners?  How did he train males to not ejaculate?  I mean, we're talking "Language for Leadership"!  First I just want to get the chronology in order.  I'll do my heavy-duty deconstruction later.  (I took "Deconstructionism and Postmodernism", and got a C.  Nobody at NEA knows that, though.)

If you want to see good old-time lechery, check out the pictures of Oneida recruit reception at http://www.asstr.org/files/Authors/Holly_Rennick/New_Recruits.jpg.  You might enjoy the photo of an Oneida "Working Bee" at http://www.asstr.org/files/Authors/Holly_Rennick/Working_Bee.jpg.

I've asked my colleague Cindi Barton to check me out.  She teaches science, so knows more about handling facts.  You may remember her from my "Writer's Notebook" and "Cindi's Top Tips of Sibling Success", but this one isn't that, of course.  It's for the NEA.


ANNOTATOR'S COMMENTS

For heaven's sake!  Why did I agree to look at all this history?  English majors like Holly should just stick to how to use the semicolon or whatever.  As a scientist, I stick to things in which I'm trained.  If I, let's say, discover a new element doing the strong-acid-plus-sugar demo ("Safety glasses, everyone.") I'll write a paper.  I could call it Cindium.  Maybe Bartonium if it's radioactive.  "Br" is taken, though, but I think "Ci" is still available.  I have a periodic chart.

Anyway, my comments are inserted between the "*** Cindi Starts ***" and "*** Cindi Ends ***".  Holly's just insecure about sex.  That's why we're good buddies, because we balance each other.  For reading over her notes, she's promised to take me to the Sizzler.

- Cindi

LET HISTORY SPEAK

John Humphrey Noyes was born in Brattleboro, Vermont in 1811.  His forebears arrived from England just 14 years after the Pilgrims.  Noyes' father, also John, a successful businessman and Congressman, had become an agnostic while studying theology at Dartmouth.  Noyes' mother, Polly, was an aunt of President Rutherford B. Hayes.  Sixteen years younger than John Sr., she was strong-willed and deeply religious.  She taught her children to fear the Lord, praying before John Humphrey's birth that someday he might be a minister of the Gospel.

In 1826 New England religious revival hit its peak under Charles Finney, but young Noyes was cynical.  John Humphrey entered Dartmouth, graduated with high honors in 1830, and spent a year studying law in New Hampshire.

*** Cindi Starts ***

Right off we see what's coming.  This guy pronounces his name like "noise", but it's spelled "No" plus "yes".  We use that switch all the time.  "No, you can't touch my blouse."  Then, while your little finger is brushing his belt buckle, "Well, yeah, it's OK for you to undo a few buttons if we're just fooling around."  It's called the "No, Yes".  Noyes is out to pull the old switcheroo.

And I'll not even comment about an older father, away a lot, a younger mother and a growing boy.  "John Humphrey," I can hear her, "Come upstairs and work this whalebone around so it fits me better.  If you stand behind me and reach around, you'll feel where it pokes me.  Maybe you need to reach inside.  Is the door locked?"

And related to a President?  "I never had sex with either my son John or my nephew Rutherford.  It depends what you mean by, 'with'."

So we'll probably meet Mom again.

Meanwhile, the boy's smitten by jurisprudence.  As Will Rogers put it, "I don't think you can make a lawyer honest by an act of legislature.  You've got to work on his conscience.  And his lack of conscience is what makes him a lawyer."

So we've got his number.  Things look grim for Holly's deconstruction, or whatever she plans to do with this.  When I go to NEA, this is why I skip the papers.  I usually run into someone on the elevator and run out of time.

*** Cindi Ends ***

THAT OLD TIME RELIGION

The Second Great Awakening, a religious revival, swept northern states in 1831.  Anyone could enter heaven by repenting of sin.  At the request of his mother, John Humphrey attended an event again under the ministry of Charles Finney.  Again he was at unmoved, but this time suffered a feverish cold that led him to think of death, humble himself, expect the Millennial Kingdom, end his study of law and enter Andover Seminary.

But he found the Andover students too worldly and transferred to Yale where many prominent in the Awakening received their training.  Associating with anti-Calvinistic reformers, Noyes began to hear about Perfectionism, an offshoot of Wesleyan Methodism offering a path to perfect holiness by an inner salvation.  As Noyes could summon neither feelings of guilt nor despair, Perfectionism fit with his belief that he was innately sinless.  He was ordained as a Congregational minister.

In 1834 Noyes experienced three emotional weeks in New York City during which he fluctuated from manic euphoria to depression, his "High Tide of the Spirit".  Noyes became passionate.  Just days after his experience, he announced that he had reached a state of sinlessness.  Perhaps because a sinless world might be difficult for organized religion, his license to preach was annulled by his superiors.

Recovered from this psychic distress, Noyes found the succeeding three years difficult as he wandered around New York and New England, expounding with little success his unorthodox beliefs.  Noyes returned to Putney to evangelize family and friends.

*** Cindi Starts ***

This is exactly why I'm a Catholic.  Nobody's perfect.  Like maybe I let a guy undo a few buttons because we're just fooling around on the Hudson's Bay blanket and then he slips down my jeans and, well, you know.  Confess that you're not perfect.  If it was your brother, maybe you don't need to give that detail to the Father, is all.  I can understand that some Fathers mess up with the celibacy thing.  They're not perfect either, but they should definitely not have sex with Sisters.  Protestants just have too many options.  Our only concern is which mass to go to.

This isn't to say that Protestants can't go to heaven or be good people.  I never ask about a guy's religion, but sometimes you can tell.  Another Catholic will never look at Mary above my bed and ask if I'm a nun.  I got that picture when I was a little girl.  A good Catholic will cross himself for Her blessing.

*** Cindi Ends ***

COMPLEX MARRIAGE

By 1836, Noyes' thoughts had coalesced.  According to Noyes' calculation, the Second Coming had already occurred in 70 AD, so it was time for him to implement the consequences.  God's Kingdom on earth would be a Biblical Communism in which all property was owned jointly.  More revolutionary than Marxian economics, however, would be the end of exclusive marriage.  As there's no marriage in Heaven, the faithful may love each other fully where Heaven is established on earth.  And believers who fully love each other in communal association must be allowed to love each other physically, "not by pairs, as in the world, but en masse."  God wants His representatives to have different partners.

Perfect unity results where each is married to all in heart, mind and body.  "Free love" was a term Noyes believed himself to have coined.  The "free love" label, however, was soon purloined by a different class of speculators and came to represent a form of licentiousness with which Noyes had no affinity.  Noyes entitled his version, "complex marriage".

"In the holy community, there is no more reason why sexual intercourse should be restricted by law than why eating and drinking should be -- and there is as little occasion for shame in the one case as in the other...  Sexual shame is factitious and irrational...  The only way to elevate love is to clear away the false, debasing associations that usually crowd around it, and substitute true, beautiful ones.

"The plea that marriage is founded in nature will not bear investigation.  Experience testifies that the human heart is capable of loving more than one at the same time.  It is not the loving heart but the green-eyed claimant of the loving heart that sets up the one-love theory."

*** Cindi Starts ***

Well, OK, I agree it's not about shame, but to make sex like eating and drinking?  Like snarfing down a Big Mac?  Smooth old son-of-a-bitch, isn't he?

Making love is fun when it's a little bit possible and a little bit risky.  Take, for example, Aaron in my Life Sciences.  I can tell that he's not yet had sex; he's not confident with girls.  My bending over his desk turns him beet red when my bra hangs loose.  Look at my hunched-forward shoulders, buster!  My risk wasn't much, just giving him a peek.  His risk was brushing me when we were hanging up the wall chart of the nitrogen cycle.  I let him do me three or four times since nobody was watching.  It's just our opportunity that now awaits.  I'll do the No-Yes to steer him along, of course.  But let's be honest; it isn't like we'll just be going to drink a Coke.

And, Heavens-to-Betsy, when I teach him a few things, it isn't like we're getting married!

*** Cindi Ends ***

GETTING STARTED

Noyes' 1837 denunciation of marriage in the radical "The Battle-Axe and Weapons of War" newspaper temporarily cost Noyes most of his followers, but his unflagging effort snared Harriet Holton, granddaughter of the Lieutenant Governor.  After she started to financially support him, Noyes proposed marriage in a careful manner: their bond would selfishly possess one another just for a time and then grow to higher dimensions.

Marriage advanced his work for God.  "By this marriage, besides herself, and a good social position, which she held as belonging to the first families of Vermont, I obtained money enough to buy a house and printing-office, and to buy a press and type."

During the decade following, Noyes published a series of newspapers promoting his views.  He helped arrange the marriages of his sisters to two of his adherents, Harriet H. to John L. Skinner and Charlotte to John R. Miller.  He gained the loyalty of his younger brother George and later, his own mother.

The Putney Community came to be with the Noyes brothers John Humphrey and George, the in-laws Skinner and Miller, and George Cragin as its nucleus.  John Humphrey was boss, later declaring, "I would never connect myself with any individual or association in religion unless I were acknowledged leader."

Putney communism "included all property of family living and associations".  Approximately 37 members lived in three houses, maintained a store and worshiped in a chapel.  They ran two farms and with Noyes inheritance, supported themselves.

In 1841, Noyes and Harriet initiated complex marriage by enlarging their marital relations to include George and Mary Cragin.  For five years thereafter, complex marriage was practiced among the commune's leadership.

*** Cindi Starts ***

I knew it.  I knew it.  I knew it!  Who comes back into the picture?  We don't need to be rocket scientists (no scratch that one, given the Space Shuttles) to see his design.  He's for sex as a community activity; he's said so.  So whom does he recruit?  Mom and his sisters.

Did you catch that complex marriage was practiced only among the leadership for five years?  Read back and see who that was if you didn't catch the family coincidence.

I can imagine Noyes's line, "Mom [or Harriet or Charlotte, three separate conversations, surely], you know how the two of us were so close before, especially when Father was away being a politician?  How we found our very special way to prove it?  Remember when the feather tick exploded under you?  How we could enjoy ourselves in the sleigh because the horses knew the way?  That time on the porch swing?  [To his sisters] That Hudson's Bay blanket that was red anyway, so it didn't matter.  Well now God approves it.  It's what we perfected mortals are supposed to do.  It's in the Book."

*** Cindi Ends ***

MALE CONTINENCE

Female orgasm was the ultimate objective of social sex.  "Male continence" meant the man putting his penis inside the woman's vagina for periods of over an hour and then withdrawing without ejaculation after the woman experienced several orgasms.  The term derived from "containing" the sperm.

Noyes reflected, "I conceived the idea that the sexual organs have a social function which is distinct from the propagative; and that these functions may be separated practically.  I experimented on this idea, and found that the self-control which it required was not difficult; also that my enjoyment was increased; also that my wife's experience was very satisfactory, as it had never been before."

Noyes proposed, "We begin by analyzing the act of sexual intercourse.  It has a beginning, middle, and an end.  Its beginning and most elementary form is the simple presence of the male organ in the female.  Then usually follows a series of reciprocal motions.  Finally this exercise brings a nervous action or ejaculatory crisis which expels the semen...  Suppose the man chooses...  to enjoy... the reciprocal motion, and yet to stop short of the final crisis...  If you say that this is impossible, I answer that I know it is possible, nay, that it is easy."

"I suppose physiologists might say... that the excitement by motion might be carried so far that a voluntary suppression of the commencing crisis would be injurious.  But what if a man knowing his own power and limits, should not even approach the crisis, and yet be able to enjoy the presence and the motion of libitum."

"I appeal to the memory of every man who has had good sexual experience to say whether, on the whole, the sweetest and noblest period of intercourse with woman is not that first of simple presence and spiritual effusion, before the muscular exercise begins."

"As propagation will become a science, so amative intercourse will have place among the fine arts.  Indeed it will take rank above music, painting, sculpture, &c; for it combines the charms and benefits of them all.  There is as much room for cultivation of taste and skill in this department as in any."

Noyes the rationalist was troubled by any waste of semen.  Sex not intended for procreation and yet involving the expulsion of semen was illogical.  Celibacy didn't solve the God-given need.  Nor was the safe period method a good solution either, as it was unreliable and unavailable frequently enough.

With strict adherence to Noyes' technique there was minimal risk of pregnancy.  Under his tutelage, at most 31 accidental births took place in a community of approximately 200 adults exchanging partners as often as twice a week over 20 years.

*** Cindi Starts ***

Is this for real?  Everybody screwing everybody is weird enough, but makes some sort of sense if you really like lots of sex.  But male continence, a guy not coming?  "Reciprocal motion" is what it's all about.

I asked Holly about "libitum", what it means.  She says that it's what Noyes wrote.  We're pretty sure it means screwing, but our dictionaries don't know, even.

Now Holly thinks I screw a bunch, but it's really not all the time or anything.  But I guess I have sampled the spectrum.  Guys are two types.  A hasty fucker shoots before you're ready and a proficient lover waits.  That's it.  We're talking minutes, though, for the latter.  An hour?  No way, Jose.  I don't care what they claim about their abilities, my guys wear rubbers.  And every one is wet inside when it comes off.

My weird girlfriends say that Tibetan Buddhist tantra fosters male orgasm control because the point of sacred sex is to raise men's kundalini energy by metaphysically re-absorbing their sperm and sending it shooting up their spinal chords into their brains and thus achieving blissful union with the Goddess.  Women are thought to be "shaktis", empowering incarnations of goddesshood that validates the male spiritual experience.  It's stupid, if you ask me, but even if it's right, only some Yogi stud can pull this off, certainly not a red-blooded American.

Then there's this new-age "karezza".  It's just about who's in control.  The woman's passion is conventionally subordinated to the man's.  He must control the situation.  But (whoa, we're getting so insightful, aren't we?) it doesn't have to be this way.  The chick gets her say too!  Karezza says that there should be long, tender, restful pauses, alternations of "storm and peace".  The whole embrace can be very quiet, decided by the woman.  Well, whoop-ti-do!  Once she lets him get to it and make her come, he's not going to join her?

Noyes must have had some sort of numbing drug, I'll bet.  He did well, sure.  Let's give him credit for dropping the fertility.  Maybe he just recited the books of the Bible backwards to keep from impregnating his lover.  But however he did it, sorry to say, it's an art as lost as the art of scrimshaw.

Where Noyes was half right is that intercourse ranks "above music, painting, sculpture, &c.; for it combines the charms and benefits of them all."  It ranks above, but it's no combination.  I can't sing, can't paint, can't sculpt one bit and I can still screw just fine.

His health claim about semen squandered to satisfy an instinctual orgasm is ridiculous.  I've never had a guy get sick.  Sure, they get worn out, same as tennis.  But nobody's ever argued that playing tennis is bad for you.

*** Cindi Ends ***

MUTUAL CRITICISM

All members were subject to criticisms of the whole membership, usually directed toward traits, thoughts or acts detracting from family unity.  Mutual criticism could be shameful and humiliating.  Women were afforded opportunity to discuss sexual expectations openly and to criticize the physical performance of a partner.  An individual repeatedly criticized for uninspired performance in bed could be denied desirable partners.

Mutual criticism in evening meetings represented the centerpiece of Community life.  Only Noyes himself was exempt because he felt that a group should not criticize its leader.

Harriet Noyes wasn't exempt, however. "Mrs. Harriet A. Noyes was criticized. It was thought she was deficient in severity; it would do her good to scold sometimes.  She should improve in sitting up straight."  But they weren't mean, adding, "She was a beautiful lover... did not trifle, but treated love with sacredness; She was free from the marriage spirit, a good critic, a medium of grace to the Association."

The youth of course needed guidance.  "A spirit has prevailed among them of running together in cliques, leading to anti-improvement and superficiality. Last evening a note from Sarah Burt was read confessing a spirit of false love and insincerity and a desire to separate herself from it.  This led to a general criticism of that class of girls.  Their condition was attributed in some degree to novel reading. They were exhorted to seek the ascending fellowship."

*** Cindi Starts ***

Mutual criticism was what Mao used in his Cultural Revolution to purge educated citizens.  It works.

Where Noyes got mean was allowing complaints about a guy's performance.  Sometimes nice guys just foul up.  You tell then that it's OK and try to help them get better.  Usually they do, if they trust you.  My brother and I were terrible, both of us, the first times, but we just laughed because we loved each other.

*** Cindi Ends ***

THE END OF PUTNEY

In 1847, the Putney group agreed, "that the Kingdom of God had come."  As complex marriage grew, however, and members began to boast of healing powers, neighbors grew less tolerant.

Noyes had treated a Harriet Hall for tuberculosis and dropsy by holding a séance and sexually sealing the spiritual cure.  After her husband's complaint, a grand jury indicted Noyes for adultery.  Investigation led to a second count based on frank conversations with supporters or would-be supporters who subsequently defected.

Fifteen-year-old Lucinda Lamb was one of three "flowers of the village" plucked by Miller.  Emma and Helen Campbell, 24 and 21, could legally surrender their virtue to Miller and Noyes himself.  Allowing seduction its course of time, Miller writes, "I was quite pleased to find Emma at our house.  The only thing that displeases me is that she is too much afraid to stay and will not make herself at home."  Lucinda, more enthusiastic for full participation in the ways of the Community, went to Miller's brother-in-law George Noyes.

John R. Miller countered community concern with his persuasive ability, drawing upon the positive business and personal relationship the Noyes family had with the townspeople.  Compromise and financial conciliation were important.  As Noyes put it, "Our policy is to give the enemy a bridge of money, over which to make a decent retreat."

With so many Putney conflagrations smouldering, Noyes, Moses of the new dispensation but always the Yankee pragmatist, wished to avoid martyrdom when the payoffs ran out.  In 1848 he forfeited half his $2,000 bond and fled Vermont.

*** Cindi Starts ***

My 15-year-olds take charge of their own sexuality, if not always safely.  But back then it would have been a huge deal.  Most girls were fellowshipped at less than 15 in the Oneida record, but these were daughters of already-members.  As their fathers and brothers could then enjoy them, they were presumably encouraged to accept the "pearl of great price" after their very first spotting.  Lucinda was her own girl.

In later years, Lucinda's picture, black hair pulled above her head, appears in the archives of the faithful.  Her staying suggests that George did a good job.

*** Cindi Ends ***

THE BEGINNING OF ONEIDA

Forty-five believers followed Noyes to Oneida Creek between Utica and Syracuse, New York where they purchased 23 acres.  This Promised Land was nearer the Canadian border, convenient in case of future persecution.

All that was practiced at Putney occurred in larger scale at Oneida.  Economic communism was institutionalized.  Unlike Putney, which evolved, Oneida was strictly planned as a social and religious utopia.

By January 1849, there were 87 members on approximately 40 acres of partially cleared land with an Indian sawmill.  The Community purchased yet additional real estate, established a variety of minor craft industries, built a communal dwelling and appointed administrative committees.

By February 1850, there were 172 members and Oneida publicly stated that it was not actively seeking new members.  Thereafter it periodically reaffirmed this position.  None-the-less, by February 1851 there were 205.

It seemed to be working, as John R. Miller reflected to George Cragin, "I think I can say with Mr. Noyes, that exclusive love with me is a thing gone by.  Two years ago we... had to have our watch constantly on duty to prevent our social building from being burned up by the fires of jealousy...  It never enters our heads that we can offend anyone by the expression of love.  This is truly one of the 'greater miracles'."

*** Cindi Starts ***

So they all lived happily ever after, laboring as family by day, copulating as family by night.  Well just keep reading.  You know it's not going to work out because here we are 150 years later, working our butts off and some of us still sleeping alone.

*** Cindi Ends ***

ASCENDING FELLOWSHIP

Noyes' idea of "ascending fellowship" was critical for Christian complex marriage to not degenerate into heathen licentiousness.

As the Community explained, "It is regarded as better for the young of both sexes to associate in love with persons older than themselves, and, if possible, with those who are spiritual and have been some time in the school of self-control, and who are thus able to make love safe and edifying...  It is well understood by physiologists, that it is undesirable for persons of similar characters and temperaments to mate together...  It is not desirable for two inexperienced and unspiritual persons to rush into fellowship with each other; that it is far better for both to associate with persons of mature character and sound sense."

Those picked to instruct the virgins were older "Central Members" considered to be closer to God.  A male Central Member would pick a virgin of about 14, but some of them were as young as 10.  Noyes often insisted on being the first.  Girls were restricted from intercourse with young men until they could prove they would not form love relationships.

Female Central Members past the age of menopause initiated the boys, the latter confined to their assignment until mastering male continence.

The system seems to have been demanding.  As Noyes reflected, "The plan proposed last fall of introducing the young men to the freedom of the Association through the more spiritual women has been attended with difficulties.  Mrs. Cragin lost her equilibrium in the attempt to carry it out, and there appears to have been an unhealthy excitement in Perkins and perhaps others, which has ended in grudging discontent."

"The transition of the young men from the hot blood of virginity to the quiet freedom which is the essential element of our Society is emphatically the difficult pass in our social experience...  We have distressing examples of the effect of initiating young men.  The spiritual collapse of Julia Hyde and Sarah Dunn, perhaps also of Sarah Campbell, Mrs. Worden and Louisa Waters may be mentioned...  The weaker party needs protection from the untamed lion."

*** Cindi Starts ***

So let's see how this works.

Hiram: "Gosh, Aunt Carrie, I'm not sure what I'm to do."

Aunt Carrie: "Don't worry.  That's why the Central Members chose me."

Hiram: "Aren't you a Central Member?
"
Aunt Carrie: "Certainly.  I'm ascended, young man!  Now undo my garters."

Hiram: "Like this?"

Aunt Carrie: "Yes, but try not to tremble.  God wants you to be perfect."

Hiram: Sorry. "It's just, you know, I've never actually seen..."

Aunt Carrie: "God made me perfect."

Hiram: "That's what they taught us.  My heavens, Aunt Carrie!"

Aunt Carrie: "Just checking."

Hiram: "I'm not too sure you should be doing that."

Aunt Carrie: "About like your dad.  He's sometimes not a good container.  We talked to him in Mutual Criticism last week"

Hiram: "So don't I get on top, like we practice in the Children's Wing?  The girls just don't let us push in since they want Mr. Noyes to be the one."

Aunt Carrie: "You just lie flat and I'll do the work."

Hiram: "What if I spill my seed?"

Aunt Carrie: "Try praying.  It's not a problem, though, due to my seniority qualification.  Just not too quick.  Ready?"

Hiram: "Mom says she's next."

Aunt Carrie: "My younger sister needs to wait her turn.  You can't sleep with her until you have your continence perfected.  Don't be like your dad."

So it sounds pretty good for our Aunt Carrie, don't you think?  But Mrs. Cragin, Perkins, Julia Hyde, Sarah Dunn, Sarah Campbell, Mrs. Worden and Louisa Waters seemed to have breakdowns.

So why would the women suffer, and yet, by lack of mention, not the males?  Here's my theory.  Males might be able to contain themselves for periods, but physiology says they need to now-and-then get themselves back into balance.  Postmenopausal women serve that purpose.  Fire away!  So here come all the guys doing the Lord's work who just need completed quickies.  The receptacles get overwhelmed.  Just my theory.

Maybe young Hirams were a bit too much for a woman of a certain age.  Now you'd give them Valium, but it wasn't invented yet.

*** Cindi Ends ***

MR. NO YES

Noyes allowed greater freedom to followers he thought ready.  An 1849 letter from Mary Cragin to her husband reports Noyes's suggestion that, "if Mr. Bradley is in a good state...  he have liberty with Ellen and Philena if he wishes it.  Sarah [Bradley] will no doubt be pleased to help her husband fellowship with others...  Also hint to those girls that they exercise some conservatism, and not allow themselves to be made too free with by all sorts."

Noyes likewise withheld authorization for sexual relations, as Mary Cragin, in that same letter, delicately notes, "With regard to the state of things between you and me, I am well satisfied.  God has our hearts in his power, and I have no complaint to make of his administration.  When he thinks best he will give me that attraction which you desire; and until he does think best, as there is some excellent reason for withholding it, let us say, 'Thy will be done'."

A retrospective assessment of the sexual system is found is a letter from Noyes' son Theodore to medical student Anita Newcomb McGee.  The power to regulate or withdraw sexual privileges, Theodore deemed, "by common consent delegated to father and his subordinates, constituted by far the most effectual means of government.  Father possessed in a remarkable degree the faculty of convincing people that the use of this arbitrary power was exercised for their own good."

*** Cindi Starts ***

No, Yes.  "No, Mary, you can't with your husband George.  Yes Mr. Bradley, you may with Ellen and Philena.  Have Mrs. Bradley make the arrangements."

Mr. Noyes had so many things to be in charge of.  It's pretty confusing just being in charge of yourself sometimes.

*** Cindi Ends ***

ARE YOU TAKEN TONIGHT?

The men had their problems.  William H. Perry was accused of "sensual self-seeking and concealment," including hiding evidence of venereal disease, in his overly free relations.  Those suffering from what Noyes called "the rooster spirit" and unwilling to conform were expelled.

As women who were younger and more attractive might be overwhelmed with demands for sex, a more-Victorian recruitment of bed partners evolved.

"Persons shall not be obliged to receive under any circumstances the attentions of those whom they do not like.  They abhor rapes, whether committed under the cover of marriage or elsewhere...  Every woman is free to refuse every man's attentions."

"It is best for men in their approaches to women, to invite personal interviews through the intervention of a third party, for two important reasons: viz., first, that the matter may be brought in some measure under the inspection of the Community; and, secondly, that the women may decline proposals, if they choose, without embarrassment or restraint."

Details were worked out amongst the ladies.  "If there is any doubt in the minds of those who are asked to give invitations as to the propriety of the visit they are to consult any one of the following persons: Mrs. Dunn, Mrs. Leonard, Mrs. Thayer, Jane Kinsley and Harriet Allen.  All women carrying invitations shall report to these women, who will keep a record."

*** Cindi Starts ***

I try to be a matchmaker for Holly sometimes.  If I think a guy will respect her pace, I'll drop a few hints.  Nothing like, "Mick likes your eyes," but maybe something about Mick liking a certain author.  Maybe I'll set up a double date, a concert or something.  My brother and I used to double to the drive-in.  My boyfriend and I got the front.  I'd straddle him, facing the rear and my brother would get his date on his lap the same way.  Then the two of us could make faces at each other and maybe even come at the same time.  He could read me even if I was only silhouetted.  Holly's too inhibited, though.  Plus they hardly have drive-ins any more.

What relates to Oneida is that somebody else trying to schedule you can get complicated.  I'll bet one of students could write a computer program where you'd say how often you wanted to and your first choices.  It would e-mail everybody the schedule.

Maybe Aaron could write the code.  I'd have him do it my place, since it shouldn't be on my school Apple.  I'd explain how it was for Ms. Rennick's history project, just hypothetical.  I'd show him where on the net to get short instructional clips.  We'd watch them.  To test his program, we'd just use two names, Aaron and Cindi.  When it said we should sleep together, I'd giggle and say we didn't have to do anything, just pretend like we were, since the computer said so.  I'd say that I had to take off my blouse, though, since we're not computers ourselves.

*** Cindi Ends ***

MARY CRAGIN

Mary Cragin's untimely death in a boating accident in 1851 brought Noyes personal crisis, as it came to be realized that she was indeed his favorite woman.  Noyes, all in all an honest Moses, took this as a lesson in his own imperfection.  Excerpting from a letter to his own wife, Harriet,

"Do you not think, as I do, that my falling in love with Mrs. Cragin was what drew me out of commencing bondage to you and gave us all a send-off into Communism?  ...  What if I was in danger of being surrounded and taken possession of by Mrs. Cragin, so that I could not be a free medium of the Community spirit or do my duty to the young in behalf of the ascending fellowship?  It seems now clear to me that this was the meaning of Mrs. Cragin's withdrawal."

*** Cindi Starts ***

The first extra-marital conquest has a special feel.  John Humphrey probably remembered his, Harriet's, George and Mary's theoretical discourse, then escorting Mary to his bedchamber, probably clearing Harriet's dressing gown from the wardrobe hook.  More likely, he called Harriet in to do it.

Can't you hear his authority?  "Fear not, my dear Mrs. Cragin.  My seed is secured within my loins, promising you ecstasy upon ecstasy.  Love me only as you would love Christ Jesus.  George never showed you this way, I'll wager, where you bend over the end of the bed."

After Noyes "married" Mary, so to speak, we just read how he ruled that she needed to knock it off with her husband.  "Thy will be done," she conceded.  As Holly's paper is going to prove, John Humphrey was one good talker.

*** Cindi Ends ***

EXPEDIENT PROPRIETY

In 1850 and 1851, grand juries heard complaints about the Perfectionists.  Ten indictments loomed, one precipitated by the severe whipping by member Henry Seymour of his mentally disturbed wife Tryphena.  She had been "crying nights, wandering about, frightening the children, and talking incoherently."  Tryphena was one of the first locals to join the group, accepting with difficulty the sexual obligation.  Part of Tryphena's mental instability may have been associated with this hesitation.

In January 1852 The Observer, a New York paper, launched a crusade against Noyes, the Tryphena publicity fostering comparison to the polygamous Mormons.  Noyes feared, "It is quite possible that the agitation which The New York Observer has stirred up may compel the authorities to prosecute the indictment."

Noyes proposed a temporary concession: discontinue complex marriage until public feeling moderated.  The Community was "not attached to forms," even its own.  "To be able to conform to any circumstances, and any institutions, and still preserve spiritual freedom" was the goal.  New effort would be devoted to, somewhat optimistically, the "abolition of death."

As part of their campaign, the Oneidans invited 80 surrounding families to a strawberries-and-cream party.  More was involved than strawberries, however.  As Noyes observed, "It seems to me that the likeliest way to quash those indictments is to set the [plaintiffs] to work as our attorneys, and pay them well for it."  The strategy proved successful.  The critics enthusiastically exonerated the Community, one of them declaring, "The people in this vicinity will not consent to have you disperse."

Tryphena's case was settled out of court with Oneida agreeing to pay asylum expenses and $125 per year if she were well and $200 if she remained "unsound in body or mind" after discharge.

Oneida joyfully announced its resumption of complex marriage on August 29, 1852.

A postscript: Tryphena eventually overcame her disorder and returned to the Community and her husband, by whom she had a child.  Henry Seymour became an influential and respected member noted for his horticulture.

*** Cindi Starts ***

When I started reading Holly's notes, I saw something attractive.  And I still see available sex as pretty cool.  But, OK, maybe it's too much of a good thing.  Tryphena gets wasted and her Henry gets to garden.

The Observer had it wrong, though.  Perfectionism makes more sense than Latter Day Sainthood.  Mormon men wear special underwear and get to populate their own universes.  Plus they all get to be Elders.  Being a Mormon wife is like living in a time-share.  Being a Perfectionist wife would have been more like having a whole hotel.  A Mormon woman can't be one of their Twelve Apostles.  My Church is of course just as bad about females, but we aren't excommunicated for pointing it out.

And putting complex marriage on hold?  Either it's OK with God or it isn't.  You don't let The Observer set your Commandments.  It would be like this:

The Pope says that God says, no abortions.

Yes, but Pro-Choice is whining so the Pope says go ahead and kill the babies.

Hey Pope, Pro Choice isn't so big these days.

The Pope says stop vacuuming them out.

John Paul II may have lost St. Peter's direct line some time back, but at least he thinks it's God on the other end and He's only phoned once.  At least the Pope would know whatever language God speaks.

*** Cindi Ends ***

A POEM

Work, that strengthens heart and brain:

   Work, that makes earth bloom again.

Music, bursting, joyous, free,

   Charm of order's melody.

Love, sweet mystic fount within.

   That gushes heaven, and keeps from sin.

Thanks for thy gifts, O God, above:

   The sacred three, Work, Music, Love.

by JHN, September 11, 1856

*** Cindi Starts ***

The guy's awful.

*** Cindi Ends ***

THE MANSION

The three-story red brick Mansion House was begun in 1861, its towers and decoration reflecting the style of the day.  Its eventual-200 rooms and 93,000 sq. ft. reflected a big family.  At the Mansion's center was a hall with a stage suitable for evening meetings, plays and concerts.  Around a central core were family sitting rooms and individual or double sleeping quarters.

In 1863 a building for enterprises was added.  In 1867 Oneida boasted, "Beside the central mansion are five large buildings, one for a general dining hall, one for baking, one for washing by machinery and canning fruits, and others for various industries...  Whatever is required by comfortable livers, to meet present and future wants, is in abundance...  They have vineyards by the acre, raspberries, strawberries, and other small fruits, by 10 or 20 acres, and large pear and apple orchards.  Their barns are as extensive and complete as any in the land.  There is stabling for over one hundred horses and cattle."

The 1869 Children's Wing housed the nursery, school and children's entertainment.  A Mansion addition in 1877 accommodated an influx of members.

*** Cindi Starts ***

The Mansion's now a National Historic Landmark with condos.  Docents explain about Yankee ingenuity and college girls get summer jobs wearing high-necked dresses and making soap, available in the gift shop.  Summer hires don't demonstrate complex marriage for the onlookers, though you absolutely know that people still must sneak in the double rooms, it being fun to re-enact local history.

Holly and I want to visit.  I'm curious about the sleeping arrangements.  You knew I'd be!  In 1867 there were 215 residents, 25 of which were under 14.  Let's say it was an even split, 95 men and 95 women.  Remove perhaps 20 percent of the latter for being indisposed and you still have about 80 pairs.  There should be that many double rooms.

Did their extensive barns have extensive haylofts for summer afternoons?  Doing it in the hay is really overrated, but it sounds wholesome.  Once my brother and I got watched by a black and white cow.

*** Cindi Ends ***

DRESS

According to the Handbook, "The short dress has been worn by the Community women since the summer of 1848; and it is supposed that the style originated at Oneida."  A woman's costume was a fitted waist, high neck adorned with a while collar, long sleeves, and a full skirt falling just below the knee.  Attire was completed by pantalets of the same calico and worsted material reaching to the ankle.  Braided straw hats shaped and trimmed in varied fashion were for social occasions.  For work they bought Shaker bonnets.  Community artisans cobbled low-heeled shoes without regard to changes of style.  Women's hair was short according to personal taste.

*** Cindi Starts ***

Go to the Syracuse University Library archive website.  Find the photographs of fashionable women promenading on the Mansion lawn, their starched attire, their pale beauty, their propriety.  We're not talking about a gaggle of frontier scrappers.  We're talking about women who knew about being ladies.

Look at the feminine figures.  Wow!  Holly shouldn't report what's on the outside without knowing what's on the inside.  Scientists look under things all the time.  Here's the scoop.

In 1839, Jean Wearly's corset-making factory made sculpted breasts and waist a part of fashion.  Slowly it became acceptable to picture corsets in magazines.  There were sleeping corsets, leisure corsets, pregnancy corsets, nursing corsets, bathing corsets, even horseback riding corsets.  The introduction of the Singer industrial sewing machine in 1848 made them cheap.

The 1860's was the "wasp waist" era.  As little as 18 inches with rounded hips was the look.  Lacing required either a strong maid or a solid bedpost.  The maid would pull the laces until the corseted madam could not breathe properly.  The unassisted lady would tie the laces to a bedpost and walk away until compression was achieved.  The 1867 Thompson Patent Glove-Fitting Corset had a spring latch, snaps at the front and traditional hooks to prevent it opening accidentally.

A collapsible bustle, manufactured by the Warner Brothers (not the Bugs Bunny outfit, though), consisted of graduated circular wires attached to a woven waistband.  When the lady sat down, the wires collapsed in a flat layer; when she stood, the series rounded her fanny.  Thin women added half-round padded circles of cloth, tapering at the top and tied with a cord around the waist.  Corsets were up high in front, breasts resting on top.  A less-endowed woman could wear a series of lace ruffles sewn on a straight band and starched to stand up under an outer frilly shirtwaist.  This reminds me of when I'd stuff Kleenex inside.

The first bra-like device, a metallic monstrosity, was patented by Henry S. Lesher of Brooklyn in 1859.  Clara P. Clark's 1874 fabric "improved corset" had fabric breast pockets held up by shoulder straps that crisscrossed the back.  Olivia P. Flynt's 1876 "bust supporter" had shoulder yokes like an ordinary blouse.  Patent notes indicate that the straps could be made thinner and adorned with lace.  A double-walled version for inserted padding enhanced ones charms.  I'd have used the double-walled.

So why this history of snaps and strings?  Biblical Communism didn't preclude advertisement.  It's Darwinian, our next topic.  Come bedtime, the girl's chap would have lots of snaps and strings to tackle.  As things were getting invented so quickly, who knows what he'd have next to master?

It wasn't as if they could just dart under the quilt.

*** Cindi Ends ***

SCIENCE

Always on the outlook for enlightenment, Noyes entertained the theory of evolution as early as 1854.  An article by Prof. Agassiz propounding that all animals, man included, started existence alike, caused the Community much astonishment and laughter.

In 1863 it was admitted that, granting Darwin's hypothesis of a tendency towards variation from type, "only time was required to develop man out of a monkey."  To reconcile the Good Book, Noyes threw in, "The Bible itself gives an account of a race that dwelt on the earth before man was created.  It walked upright, had speech, was highly ingenious, and was called 'the serpent'."

To disseminate such insight, Noyes needed a paper in New York City supported by an industrial system, unlimited funds and writers equipped in science and art.  The first step was the removal of The Circular to Wallingford, Connecticut and the concentration of the best literary talent upon it.  The paper's character underwent a noteworthy change.  Noyes was willing that its spiritual character should be "left to work itself out in silent ways."

In 1864, Theodore R. Noyes and George E. Cragin, sons of the leaders, were sent to Yale to study medicine.  For ten years, Community students took the place of those who graduated.  Several young men studied in New York City and one was admitted to the bar.

Oneida was visited in 1875 by Prof. Weills, an oculist and after some talk the good Professor was invited to fit with spectacles those who needed them.  After the Professor's departure, Mr. Woolworth remarked, "If this oculist has humbugged us, he has done it handsomely.  He has sold us 75 pairs of spectacles, and we have paid him $267.50."

*** Cindi Starts ***

As a scientist, I find the promotion of new learnings most admirable.  A section or two back in Holly's notes, I was pretty upset how their bedtime was playing out.  But seeing Noyes as scientist like myself, I'm less willing to pass judgment.

Deciding that the first man-like creatures were serpents is not scientific, however.  If the snake that tricked Eve looked like a person, surely it would have had sex with her before sending her to seduce Adam.  To not get the first virgin ever!  The Mormons probably have some explanation.  Ask one of those boys on bicycles, the boys with ties.  Some years ago, one was held captive by his ex-girlfriend who had pursued him from the United States to Britain and he was forced to make love to her.  It made the news.  Females raping males really happens.  How'd I get off the subject?

*** Cindi Ends ***

WILLIAM MILLS

William Mills joined the Community with his family in 1857.  The terms of admission had been repeatedly published:  "On the admission of any member all property belonging to him or her becomes the property of the Association.  While a person remains a member, his subsistence and education are held to be just equivalents for his labor; and no accounts are kept between him and the Association, and no claim of wages accrues to him in the case of subsequent withdrawal."

Notwithstanding, Mills became discontented and made a claim for the property he had brought in, with interest.  When the Community demurred, he hired a lawyer.  Rather than go to court, the Community paid.

But after an unsuccessful attempt to form a new community in the west, Mills applied for readmission and hammered his way back in.  This time, it was a woman problem.  Noyes says, "He had quarreled with the Community at first because he could not make a certain woman respond to his addresses, and because he could not make the Community compel her to do so."  Mills became a confirmed malcontent.

When man named Lawton likewise filed claim for wages, the leaders ruled that the safe course was to have every member sign the terms of admission.  But Mills would not "put himself under law by signing any papers."  Noyes determined to make a square issue on this matter and Mills was ousted from his dishwashing job, the women declaring that they would not work with him.  He fumed and stalled, but finally signed.

In 1864 Mills began to complain about his two daughters having been "ruined".  Having obtained money from the Community under the pretext of urgent business, he engaged a lawyer and set damages at $30,000.

Oneida retained Ward Hunt, the best lawyer in Utica, afterward appointed to the US Supreme Court, and offered to settle for the value of his original property in gold, $2,250.

After unsuccessfully attempting to persuade Madison County to take up his case, Mills got the suit before the Oneida County grand jury.  Mills entered the courtroom with his deflowered daughters as witnesses.  To his dismay, there in the jury box sat Ward Hunt.  Mills withdrew the case, returned his daughters to their homes and settled on the Community's terms.

Hunt said afterward that he was never drawn on a grand jury before, and probably never would be again.  "Just another piece of the Community's damned luck," laughed a neighbor.

*** Cindi Starts ***

That's $15,000 per ruined daughter, $13,875 if you discount his other property.  This is about ten times what a slave would have auctioned for in the South and the Dixie master would have gained both sexual service as well as lifetime labor.  Mills figures that white skin ups the ante, racist pig!  His girls weren't pregnant, even.  Well I'm glad the jury was stacked and you better be too.

*** Cindi Ends ***

COMMERCE

The Perfectionists at first tried to support themselves by preserving fruits and vegetables, but grew into such economic ventures as sawmilling, blacksmithing and silk production.  But by far their most lucrative venture was the production of member Sewell Newhouse's steel beaver traps for the Hudson's Bay Company.

A Business Board settled ordinary matters.  Every adult member, man or woman, had voice and vote. Unanimity was the rule of action.  When differences developed, action was deferred, sometimes for months, until a solution was satisfactory to all.

Following the 1862 depression due to the Civil War, business boomed.  "It is tremendous to think of," writes an Oneida journalist, "but we are $715 behind our orders for bags."  Work was given to women in the neighborhood.  Local men were hired for farm work and teaming and when the trap department was swamped, it became necessary to decide whether to go back to self-reliance, or forward to capitalistic hiring.  Oneida opted for capitalism.

During the 1864-69 period, a new trap factory was built at Sherrill and a new printing office at Wallingford.  The fruit, bag and job-printing businesses were enlarged.  Manufacture of ploughs and other agricultural implements was commenced.  An office was established in New York City for the sale of the Community products.  Silk jobbing, which had been discontinued along with the peddling business, was resumed.

The time had come to manufacture silk, instead of buying it for resale.  A Connecticut manufacturer admitted one Community young man and two young women as apprentices.  On July 30, 1866 before the whole Community, the winders and spinners were set in motion.  Even with heavy expenditure for new buildings, at the end of the year the Community owed not a dollar.  Within another year there were 80 outside silk employees.

Theodore was by now generally acknowledged as leader of the rising generation.  This brought satisfaction to his father, now 55, that the work was not dependent on his life alone.

*** Cindi Starts ***

Well, sex and business have always been connected, I suppose.  Got a TV?

I guess the one thing I see is that Oneida sold traps to the Hudson's Bay Company and when we went camping, my brother and I had this red and black Hudson's Bay blanket.  When Dad would say, "Where's that blanket?" Mom would find him something else.  I think she knew that we stashed it up above the trail where we could have fun on it.

*** Cindi Ends ***

LABOR AND FINANCES

The household was always on the lookout for mechanical devices to lighten the labor.  Steam heating was introduced, doing away with the care of stoves; and ingenious machinery was invented for laundry, dishwashing, food preparation, and floor cleaning.

According to literature, "Compulsory labor is neither sought nor permitted in the Communities.  The aim is to make labor attractive, and a means of improvement; and this is found compatible with good and industrious habits.  The members occasionally exchange employments, and many who brought a single trade into the society, are now equally proficient in many others."  Oneida had no definite rules restricting the time of rising for work, but had few problems with people taking advantage of it.

Money was rarely exchanged, but a personal allowance was recognized in 1862.  The treasurer was instructed to pay quarterly to each adult 25 cents, and to each child 12 1/2 cents to "gratify individual whims, or make presents to particular friends."  Those not wanting the bounty could, of course, give it back.  In 1875 an annual appropriation of $75 to each man and $40 to each woman was adopted to cover clothing and incidentals "for the sake of encouraging economy, and giving a practical education in money matters to the young."  Supplies could be obtained through Community channels without currency, however, and some members could scarcely distinguish one coin from another.

*** Cindi Starts ***

Riddle: How many Victorian virgins did it take to change an Oneida light bulb?
Answer: Unknown.  Thomas Alva Edison hadn't yet made his contribution and John Humphrey Noyes had.

Ever go to a Club Med?  Holly and I want to because you don't use money and I'm sure I'd find her the perfect guy.  The diving instructors help you tighten your tanks just right.  Linda Lowell says first they do the front harness.  If they think you like it (she says that they more-or-less reach inside) then they'll do the straps around the top of your thighs.  She about lost it when he checked to see if it was a finger-width loose on each inside.  This comes to mind because you don't need money at a Club Med.

Keeping the parallel going, life at Oneida was set up for getting fondled.  Noyes just loved working in the kitchen.  "In the course of the forenoon yesterday I assisted in the following operations: Bringing milk from the dairy, making brown bread, making wheat bread, making Indian puddings, making fruit pies, heating the oven, putting bread, puddings and pie into the oven, paring potatoes, dissecting codfish, cooking potatoes and codfish, putting potatoes and codfish on the table, taking out part of the contents of the oven and putting in more."

You can bet that arms got playfully entangled.  And they didn't need money because the girls already paid big-time to join.

And here's another parallel.  In the normal course of things, before you even realize there's more to happen, a brother feels you up a ton.  You're on the back of his bike and you're not going to hang on?  He saves you when you almost fall out of the tree house.  You're wrestling, first time ever on the Hudson's Bay blanket, and you protest that he didn't really pin you for the full count of three.  He has to pin you longer.   And you don't pay each other money.

So it stands to reason that at Club Med, at Oneida or at home, things might be the same later that evening.

*** Cindi Ends ***

MATRIARCH

Mother Noyes departed this perfection for the next in 1866.

*** Cindi Starts ***

So here's maybe her obituary.

"POLLY HAYES NOYES, 1790-1866, loving companion to sons John Humphrey and George, sons-in-law John L. Skinner and John R. Miller and acquaintance George Cragin.  Being in the state of Full Maturity, Mrs. Noyes enjoyed allowing Completed Satisfaction to the five abovementioned Association leaders."

"*** Cindi Ends ***

HOSPITALITY

The Oneida Community was distinguished for its hospitality.  In the summer of 1866, 6,000 visitors came and the tide was still rising.  Ninety-nine meals were served during one week to persons of more serious purpose.  Seventy Oneida Indians were feted on the lawn.

The Visitors' Register covering 5 1/2 years ending in 1867 contained nearly 16,000 names, and it was estimated that this represented only one-third of those actually entertained.  A boarding house was opened as an "outside reception room for the floods and floods of visitors" about a quarter of a mile from the Mansion.  Strangers were freely entertained even for weeks with sympathy and kindliness.

After the Midland Railroad was built in 1871, excursions of several hundred often came in a single day.  Community members dropped their work, impromptu entertainments were given in the Mansion and the far-famed Community "dinner without meat" was served to all. Vegetables, fruits, cereals and dairy products were the staples.  No pork was served, and other kinds of meat but sparingly.

Visitors were impressed.  "Tobacco and ardent spirits are not used in the Communities; neither are tea and coffee.  The members are not Grahamites, yet use little meat, preferring fruit and a farinaceous diet.  All eat in one large hall, at many tables...  Rarely have I eaten meals so well cooked, so neat and so good.  They equal, to my taste they excel, those at the best hotels."

"They have a fine library, and they take the leading daily and weekly newspapers...  A handsome hall, furnished with chairs and small tables, is occupied by the members in the evening, in the same manner that a family gathers around the hearth...  At each table are lamps; the women knit and sew, and I saw a man knitting.  Meanwhile, one will read a daily paper, or letters from friends; or short addresses.  Then they talk over their affairs.  In this way their evenings are spent until bedtime."

"They employ no physician, for they need none; no lawyer, for they are peaceable; and no preacher, for they are perfect...  Musical instruments sound through the halls.  They do not work on Sunday, but they do not call the day sacred.  They neither baptize, nor partake of the sacrament.  Their lives are continued worship."

*** Cindi Starts ***

Catch the "not Grahamites"?  At least sex never got commercially associated with Graham Crackers.  Once on a camping trip my brother and I were going to fool around in our tent after we made s-mores (you know, Graham Cracker, marshmallow and Hershey bar), but the idiot got himself so sticky that I wouldn't.

"Until bedtime."  The writer stops where so much more could lend itself to the Victorian prose.

That physician and lawyer bit is misleading.  Young Theodore and George E. were in medical school and the Community regularly engaged attorneys to stay afloat.

*** Cindi Ends ***

ENTERTAINMENT

The Community was far from ascetic.  Card playing and dancing were favorite amusements and outdoor sports were encouraged.  From the record: "Two dancing classes have been organized, which practise from six to seven on alternate evenings...  The objections that attach to dancing in common society are excluded in the Association.  No ball dresses, no late hours, wine and revelry, no going home in the night air after being heated with exercise.  As a means of improvement in health and grace nothing can be better, and it may be made an expression of praise and worship...  Dancing till eight, music by the brass band till half-past, then our evening meeting ended the day."

But there was a problem.  "A suspension of the Brass Band was proposed and approved with the hearty consent of the members.  They have made a good beginning, and may look forward to future development.  Meanwhile let there be an ambition to improve the parlor music, and carry it to a high perfection."

The boss' fiddling was reviewed, "Mr. Noyes... made up in perseverance what he lacked in natural talent.  He had a ready faculty of understanding and reading music, though there was more or less fault in his details and execution.  He was criticised for his manner of bowing, cutting short his notes, etc."

The recreation homes "Joppa" and "Cozicott" afforded retreats.  Joppa was on the eastern shore of Oneida Lake, fronting on a shelving beach of hard clean sand, with deep woods in the rear.  Cozicott was on the rocky Connecticut shore.  Parties of a dozen or more succeeded each other for a week's enjoyment of boating, bathing, hunting, fishing and tramping.

As Oneidans desired to consecrate not merely one-seventh of their time to God, Sunday was no more sacred than the rest of the week.  For many years they held a Sunday afternoon religious meeting open to the public, but they did not scruple to run their workshops simultaneously if orders were pressing.  Learning that this annoyed some of their neighbors, however, they discontinued the practice, and the young men were advised not to hunt or fish on Sunday.  Rides, picnics and excursions became features of the Sabbath.

*** Cindi Starts ***

You know why some churches oppose premarital intercourse?  It might lead to dancing.

Here's my idea of a diary entry by Charity, a younger member.  Keep in mind that Holly's research is all legit and my contribution is off the top of my head.

"July 6, 1865

"George E., Hiram, Theodore, Lucinda, Tirzah and I embarked for a Holiday at Joppa.  George E. and Theodore drove the cart smartly while Hiram entertained us with his banjo.  Upon arrival we changed into our Bathing Costumes.  The Lake was exceedingly frigid, however, and affected our bosoms in such a manner that we forbade the Boys to be in our presence.  Afterwards we baked potatoes.

"That evening we, the young ladies, had amongst ourselves selected each our evening's partner, but the young men surprised us with a Plan to which we acquiesced.  Each of us being blindfolded, the three lads interchanged to bring each of us to three ecstasies, the male sequence being unknown to us.  Lucinda, being older, and Tirzah, being notably Playful, were well familiar the fathers of Theodore and George E., so possessed some idea of Genetic Similitude.  Hiram, however, being little removed from his own Training, was of less-familiar quality.  The boys, however, upon restoring our sight, professed the possibility that each had alone pleased his Favorite in three distinct Manners, a Trick within the Frolic done to make us Merry.  In either possibility, I believe my concluding acquaintance was with Hiram because he somewhat failed in containment.

"Within the Mansion, of course, Pleasurable Satisfactions occur in seclusion.  At Joppa, however, when only revellers are in Company, it is appropriate within the darkened Common Room for intercourses to be proximate.  In truth it was not at all dark at the time of our Socialization, but being blindfolded relieved us of concern.  Tirzah, as I noted, becomes audibly Playful.

"Subsequently rowing upon the Lake, George E. brought me to pleasure with his oral facilitude.  I protested, of course, but only after my Delight.  Such Practice is discouraged by the older Control Members, but recognized to occur on Excursions.  In feminine retribution, I dexterously brought him to spill his seed on my frock.  Lucinda later recognized the hue of the persistent Remnants and encouraged me to prepare myself on next occasion with a handkerchief.  Her advice proved fortuitous, as both Hiram and Theodore, likely having been appraised by George E. of my ministration, took me boating to the same Effect.  Of course I protested, but it being not a Rape, it was to no avail.

"Other diversions included croquet, a evening of dramatic recitation, declamations and pantomime and Constitutional Walks.  Hiram, the three of us agree, is a better banjo performer than partner, but then he is less practiced.  Lucinda gave Hiram instruction under a Hudson's Bay blanket during our return.  Tirzah, however, to playfully disrupt Hiram's concentration, bared her corset at Hiram's most difficult moment and caused him to expel into Lucinda.  Needless to say, the older girl was displeasured and criticized Tirzah for frivolity and Hiram for laxitude.

"Upon returning to the Community, I volunteered for laundry duty, as my frock merited special attention."

And there's their other place.  Think of a young lady hungrily packing her valise for a holiday.  Her forbidden fruit would be the pulse of her lover's climax.  A male might be induced to relax his continence in the carefreeness of excursion.  To feel his throbs, she'd willingly settle for a single orgasm herself.  The cabin at eveningtide would sing with the sighs of love at last completed!  She even made up a ditty to share with her friends.

   I'll see men's semen

   In my cozy cot at Cozicott.

*** Cindi Ends ***

GOOD TIMES

During Yale's 1867 winter vacation, Theodore started a powerful revival among the Oneida young folks.  This was followed, at his father's suggestion, by a series of "Noon Meetings", open to all and lasting throughout the summer, in which the religious life of the entire Community was powerfully quickened.

In the first half of that year, 50 applications were received for membership, mostly from heads of families.  "Hard spirits retreated; good spirits prevailed and rejoiced."

In 1866, Hepworth Dixon, editor of the London Athenaeum and author of note, came to gather materials on American socialism.  He visited the Shakers at New Lebanon, the Mormons in Utah, and spent two days at Oneida.  When his "New America" was printed in 1867, the publishers stated that the 55-page account of Oneida aroused more interest than any other subject discussed.  It was essentially a caricature, good-humored, tolerant, and charmingly written, letting the Community speak from its own publications.  The book had a successful run in England and America and was translated.  Appreciative articles appeared in the New York Tribune, the New York Herald and the Phrenological Journal.

As the crowning event of this banner year, George Noyes and Charles S. Joslyn, a younger member who had recently been admitted to the bar, were sent as representatives to Europe.  They were received with cordiality by Dixon, placed samples of the Community manufactures in the Paris Exposition, and attended a meeting held in their honor by the Fourierists.  They presented copies of the Community publications to the British Museum and established agencies for their sale in both London and Paris.  They were sought three times by Lord Houghton, a.k.a. Monkton Milnes, a poet better known for hosting breakfasts than his writing.  They were guests of honor at a dinner attended by the Lord Bishop of Gloucester; the Master of the Rolls, the son of Earl Russell; the Coroner of London; Mr. Faed, painter of Evangeline, and other notables.  They placed in Dixon's hands a voluminous inquiry by Noyes into the causes of the decline of marriage, a document Dixon put to use in his next book, "Spiritual Wives".  They explained to Professor Huxley the Community's method of birth control.  Dixon said later that Huxley was "one of those who thought it desirable to interfere with the natural course of things in this respect, and that he was a good deal impressed by the experience of the Community."  The Lord Bishop of Gloucester remarked that the Communists, in common with all sects in new countries, made great account of the individual, his exercises and persuasions; whereas the old world, with its settled institutions, regarded the individual as subordinate to fixed guidance.

Noyes began to feel that a more liberal membership policy could be adopted.  "We must not be cowardly about taking in new members.  When we get our new machinery all working, I shall not be afraid to take in a host - don't care who they are - good, bad, or indifferent."  Accordingly, in April 1867, ten persons were admitted, a number unprecedented since the days of the first ingathering at Oneida.

A 72-page Handbook for inquirers was published and new branches were established in New York City, Sherrill and New Haven.

*** Cindi Starts ***

We're talking European High Society, though the Coroner of London sounds less than celebrity.  It was a bunch of OBE's who wanted some dirty stories, actually.  We know the type.  When you're little, they want you to sit on their lap.  "Come and have a sweet, my child." When you're older, they want you to sit on their lap.  "Do you take dictation, my dear?"  Either way, they like it when you wiggle around.  "Why, I do believe you're ticklish!"

So George and Charles told these Tories (or whatever they were) about the etiquette of training a 14-year-old.  Those bigwigs had done it with their own scullery maids plenty, but the American way must have seemed so democratic.

The Phrenological Journal?  "Young lady, this cranial convexity demands an explanation.  Lean back in my lap while I explore downward for concavities.  The key may also be in an emerging convexity elsewhere, smaller in stature but similar in presentation to my own."

*** Cindi Ends ***

REVERSALS

Once again the spectres of debt and disease menaced.  By September 1867, the Community owed $81,000.  Noyes, as usual, drew a spiritual lesson.  "We must adopt the principle of limiting ourselves in the midst of prosperity.  I propose that we solemnly submit our business and organization to God for pruning."

Theodore, now M.D., was appointed to downsize.  The Circular was moved back to Oneida, the boarding house was closed, the bag and fruit preserving businesses were given up, the New York City branch was abandoned and various propaganda schemes were subordinated to debt retirement.

By January 1869 the Community owed not a dollar and had invested $20,000 of surplus in United States bonds.  An adjacent 125-acre property was added.  The Hall & Elton factory and water privilege at Wallingford were bought.  Construction of a dam commenced with the objective of enlarging the silk and publishing business.  The fruit business was revived.  The New York City office reopened.  A portion of the old Mansion structure was moved and equipped for a seminary.

The Business Board was no longer in session.  Theodore appointed young men as department heads who came to him separately for consultation.  There was talk about "putting the older generation on the shelf."

The whole business administration came up for discussion in January 1872, when Noyes expressed his concern, "We must have more spirituality in our business.  Theodore is tempted to rely too much on ability and financial machinery, and does not appreciate the tremendous importance of inspiration...  Let all the departments offer themselves for criticism, and have no irritability about it."

His father's objection was followed by a reorganization during which Theodore had a nervous breakdown and went to Dansville to recuperate.  On his return four months later, he did not for several years re-enter the ranks of business.

*** Cindi Starts ***

Things get bad.  Things get fixed.  Things get bad again.  Things get fixed again.  We get it, Holly.  Never marry an MBA because an MBA paper on Oneida wouldn't catch that they liked sex.

*** Cindi Ends ***

STIRPICULTURE

Now a Darwinian, Noyes led the Community into a eugenics program he called "stirpiculture".  The most spiritually ascended followers should mate to produce the most spiritual offspring.

Encouragement from D.G. Croly, editor of the New York World, legitimized the prospect of scientific propagation.  In 1868 Noyes published, "We are studying Darwin and the Bible on stirpiculture; we intend to build the final wing of our Mansion house next summer, and give it to the children with the best equipments that science can furnish for their training; the Community has so far perfected the discipline of its affections that it is ready, as with one heart, for a faithful trial of the experiment of rational breeding."

The resulting experiment extended from 1869 to 1879.  Resolutions were signed by 38 young men and 53 young women to put aside selfish claims and enter upon this venture.  An informal committee of Central Members presided over the proceedings, but later an organized Stirpicultural Committee was placed in charge.

During a typical period of 15 months, out of 51 applications from men and women desiring to become parents, nine were vetoed on grounds of unfitness.  The Stirpicultural Committee occasionally took the initiative to bring about combinations it deemed specially fit.

Sixty-two children were born under this system, none deaf, dumb, blind, idiotic or tubercular.  Of 58 surviving birth, four had died by 1920.  According to the mortality tables, these four deaths compare with 16.4 in rural United States, 20.1 in the total nation and 21.4 in New York.

Noyes retained enough spiritual energy to participate in the experiment; after his 58th birthday he fathered eight children.

*** Cindi Starts ***

Finally were back to something interesting: breeding.  I'm more into the how-to than the outcome, of course.  A long time ago, the Church thought we had to do a bad thing to achieve a necessary result.  With the school nurse passing out free birth control, kids today see it as doing a fun thing to get no result.

Presumably by 1869, everybody had slept with everybody hundreds of times, but at last the chosen males now get to ejaculate.  Those 38 could finally relax.  But I'll bet the 53 females kept sneaking in unqualified males, since these were the guys who'd last an hour.  Why did the 53 still go four or five years between pregnancies?  The inseminators just weren't as fun.

How much, if any, of the lowered mortality was due to eugenics, and how much to conditions after conception?  Who's to say?

And, surprise upon surprise, here's old John Humphrey still pumping away in his "merry damsels", as he called them.  He's one of 38 on the firing range and he gets eight of the 62 bulls-eyes.  Really good sperm, you think?  How about getting to cut to the front of the line a bunch.

*** Cindi Ends ***

CHILD REARING

Noyes proclaimed that children "belonged to God and the Community" and that "philoprogenitive" bonds formed within traditional families were selfish.  Don't worry about paternity.  "Bastardy, in any disastrous sense of the word, is simply impossible in such a social state.  Whoever will take the trouble to follow our track from the beginning, will find no forsaken women or children by the way."

According to the Handbook, "During the period of nursing, the mother devotes herself to her child as much as she pleases; has a room to herself, and assistants, if she wishes.  When the child is weaned, say at the age of a year or fifteen months, it is placed in the general nursery or children's department...  Children remain in this establishment under the care of men and women selected for their skill in managing the young, till the age of twelve or fourteen.  The smallest children eat in the nursery at a table by themselves.  The rest eat at the general table with the family."

The Children's Wing had complete charge.  Attention was given to "diet, clothing, sanitation, and profitable activity."  Since epidemic diseases were vigilantly excluded, sickness was rare.

But possessive love had to be stamped out at the earliest opportunity.  Even the tender affection for a special doll had to be burned away.  One girl's autobiography recounts marching to the oven door with her "long-cherished favorite" in her arms, then staring as the flames consumed it.

*** Cindi Starts ***

I can't even pronounce that "p" word.  If I have a kid, it's my kid.  Period.  Same for Holly.  We'll be "aunties" for each other's.

And my Raggedy Anne, I'd never burn up.  She's where we've always kept the rubbers.  Being grown up and all, I could just keep them in my dresser, but my brother likes pretending like old times.  Me too.

Here's one maybe the girls jump-roped to:

Mr. Noyes' notion,

  Of perfected motion,

Can hold back an ocean,

  Of man's virile lotion.

In school we do mention,

  Our father's invention,

For feminine tension,

  Assures us ascension.

We'll burn up our toys,

  Shun sex with the boys,

For instruction in joys,

  Beneath Mr. Noyes.

Probably the boys were scared to death of Charlotte Miller.  If they didn't please her, she could relegate them to some flabby spinster who'd never get any invitations otherwise.  "So the thing is, Enos, Tirzah's ma will pull you up against her and she's really, really hairy, so you have to make sure you keep rubbing up against the front part because that's where she has this little place that likes it."

*** Cindi Ends ***

HEALTH

In September 1863, diphtheria gained entrance to the Community when Stephen Pearl Andrews was visiting.  Noyes, who was away, returned to hear of two deaths as he stepped from the train, and found Andrews beguiling the Community with a course on "universology".  According to Noyes's sister Harriet, "We needed Mr. Noyes's wisdom and sincerity to save us from the sorceries of Mr. Andrews as much as from the diphtheria."

There were 60 cases in the Community during this epidemic, of which five were fatal.  But as no deaths occurred after the introduction of mutual criticism and ice, the diphtheria campaign was regarded as a victory of mixed means.  Should the Community should go back to a simple faith treatment of disease, or forward to scientific aids.

Noyes' answer regarding science, "Yes, if the use is inspired.  Inspiration is the fire, and natural means are the fuel.  We must not pile on so much wood as to choke the fire...  When the furnace is going with a roar, we can throw in bushels and cartloads of fuel, and it will take all without being smothered."

Malaria attacked Wallingford in 1871.  When 17 members (about half that family) were stricken at once, Noyes put the seven worst sufferers aboard the train for Oneida.  Disembarking at nightfall, they learned that their telegram had miscarried and no one was there to meet them.  Noyes could only find an omnibus drawn by mules that had just returned from the Community with a load of girls.  The driver being too tired to make a second trip, Noyes climbed on the box himself.  "Imagine," exclaimed one of the invalids, "mules, tired with their day's work, going the opposite way from their stables, with no whip!"

In the summer of 1872, Harriet Skinner was taken dangerously ill.  Noyes advised Theodore and George E. that while he wanted to learn about the physical aspect, there was a mental and spiritual side needing treatment first.  He was going to fire at the wild beasts that were tearing his sister and expected to hit them.  Her fever left, another testimony to God's power.

Theodore was sent to investigate the Turkish bath, just coming into vogue.  A small experimental bath to Noyes was a new and hopeful weapon against fever and ague.  "In our battle with diphtheria, we used criticism and ice.  Why not now use criticism and the Turkish bath?"  Many surprising cures were reported.

*** Cindi Starts ***

Science is the perception of pattern that exists.  Superstition is the perception of pattern that doesn't.

How about homeopathy where you dilute a toxin so much that there'd not be a statistical molecule left, but the water remembers and makes you better?  We're pretty much as dumb today as they were back then.  I use the dilution bit to teach about Avogadro's Number, how many molecules there are in so many grams.  If they call it Avocado's Number on the quiz, at least they got the idea about a big number.

I don't know about Turkish baths, but I've tried Jacuzzis.  Hot water makes it difficult for some guys, but it's a fun place to get naked anyway.  The bubbles make it sort of peek-a-boo.

*** Cindi Ends ***

THEODORE'S CANDIDACY

September 1874 saw the death of Noyes' sister Charlotte A. Miller, more than 20 years the adviser to the younger women.  That responsibility now fell to Ann Bailey Hobart, a younger member.  The position afforded Ann power in sexual pairings, her reputation among the women becoming that of a "ruthless intriguer".

In 1875, Noyes went to Wallingford, leaving William Woolworth as "father" of the family.  Woolworth, past 50, was disinclined to rule in the affairs of the younger generation.  When Ann came for help, he begged to be excused.  Finally Ann suggested that Noyes appoint Theodore to the position.

But as Theodore was an agnostic, the implications occupied six evenings.  Extracts from the addresses give the salient points:

Charles S. Joslyn: "In regard to Theodore: First... I have never even once heard him mention the name of God or Christ or faith.  Second, that in considering whether persons are suitable for certain places he wholly ignores their spiritual character."

Harriet H. Skinner: "I should feel safe with Theodore at the head.  In a practical test he does not follow his own theories, but acts out Community faith...  He is in the constant habit of prayer himself, not to God by name but to the highest spirit in the universe.  His confession the other night of a desire to serve others was a signal to me."

William A. Hinds: "It is natural and proper that we should have a somewhat special interest in Mr. Noyes's children; but in my opinion it is wrong, wholly wrong, that relationship should have any influence in determining such a question as this...  Loyalty to Mr. Noyes is loyalty to his spirit, and not to his flesh and blood.  It does not follow at all that Mr. Noyes will transmit his spirit, and especially his divine commission, to his children."

There was more to it than theology, however.  Theodore's infatuation with Ann undermined confidence in his ability to lead.

Theodore's father's reproached, "Who does not see that here was the beginning of Theodore's worship of Ann and the beginning of her spiritual supremacy?  It is easy to trace the process by which she mastered him.  Nothing is so flattering to a spiritual man to have an attractive woman become his convert and shine forth with him as his bright particular star...  Her phrenology is of the Bailey type, strong in the love of power and weak in conscience and veneration."

The nomination of Theodore was withdrawn.

*** Cindi Starts ***

This is getting heavy!  As noted at the start, George Bernard Shaw wrote about Oneida.  Shaw also wrote "Pygmalion" which became "My Fair Lady" where Prof. Henry Higgins sings, "Let a woman in your life!"  Just read this next paragraph, what historians have to wade through when that happens.

"In the latter part of 1874 Frank and Helen were in love and trying for a child.  Ann was at this time laying her nets for complete control over Theodore.  The fact that Theodore loved Cornelia and had had a child with her provided him with a social outlet which interfered with her plans.  She therefore brought it about that Frank's trials with Helen were broken off, and trials with Cornelia, resulting in the birth of Gerard a year later, were commenced."

I totally give up on who was screwing who, other than Frank and Theodore were doing Helen, Cornelia and Anne.  Basically what's going on is like some stupid soap opera where maybe Shakespeare could work it out.  Not me.

Phrenology of the Bailey type!  Skull shape correlated with protracted orgasms, he suspects.

Where I come out is that Anne was one nasty bitch, not who'd I want scheduling my sex life.  A girl like me would have found so many better places to enjoy the 1800's.  Maybe Dodge City.  Certainly San Francisco.

*** Cindi Ends ***

SPIRITUAL SALVATION

The "rapping" phenomena had appeared in Rochester and popular excitement on the subject of communication with the dead was running high. The death of Mary Cragin brought a desire to communicate with her.

Noyes urged, "The...  sphere of Christ, the apostles, and the 144,000 gathered to Christ at his second coming, is to us the ascending fellowship.  But Hades, the sphere of the miscellaneous dead, is the descending fellowship.  Hades is to this world as woman is to man.  Its only advantage over us is the advantage of weakness...  The first step will be the coming up of the world of the dead into conjunction with us; then the two worlds will move along together into the resurrection sphere."

Noyes authorized his son to undertake a thorough investigation of spiritualism in the hope that it would bring him back to a belief in immortality.  Theodore took up the study with enthusiasm, held séances, visited celebrated mediums and accepted the phenomena as sufficient evidence.  He believed that an intelligence higher than either him or his father would lead to unity.

Noyes was pleased.  "In a normal spiritual education there is first a process of external instruction; then there is a breaking up and separation from this external process; and finally there is a turning from an outward to an inward knowledge.  Theodore has been passing through these different stages...  If my estimate is correct, he is going to be far more effectually joined to me, and far more competent to help me in my work than he would have been without this experience."

*** Cindi Starts ***

Noyes wanted to keep screwing Mary Cragin, even if she was just a visiting spirit.  He didn't need the reciprocal motion.

Noyes: "Son, go see if Mrs. Cragin's back."

Medium: "Come, our departed dearest Mary."

Theodore: "The table trembles!"

Medium's Assistant: "I bumped it reaching for his thigh."

Medium: "The cloth rises!"

Theodore: "Can she see under the table?"

Medium's Assistant: "Not you.  She means the lever under the tablecloth."

Medium: "Behold such rapping sound!"

Theodore: "Oh my!"

Medium's Assistant: "Am I stroking too fast?  He's bouncing his chair."

Medium: "A voice calls out!"

Theodore: "I'm going to come."

Medium's Assistant: "Through his voice the departed Mary bids herself present."

Medium: "We yield to her invisible presence!"

Theodore: "I shouldn't have worn white trousers.  The spot will be visible."

Medium's Assistant: "That's why we keep it dim in here."

Then later,

Theodore: "Father, Sir, I did indeed sense the touch of Aunt Mary.  An intelligence higher than father and son leads us to such commonality of manifestation."

John Humphrey: "Surely a spiritual plantation would be allowed.  Containment only applies to relations with earthly acquaintances."

*** Cindi Ends ***

PRODIGAL SON

As 1875 drew toward its close and Theodore was co-operating heartily with his father, Theodore's role was reassessed.

William A. Hinds: "I felt some hesitation about the plan as it was represented to me today, but as I understand it now, the question is altogether different from what it was last winter.  Theodore comes to us now as the representative and mouthpiece of his father to help reorganize the business as his own."

James W. Towner: "I sincerely believe that Mr. Noyes is the best business man in the Community.  As to the question of Theodore's co-operation with him, I will say frankly that, if I were to judge Theodore by his communication last spring...  I should feel a good deal of distrust and anxiety.  But I am highly pleased with what Mr. Noyes says about Theodore, and I have so much confidence in his inspiration to believe that he knows whether it is best, and how far it is best, to use Theodore in the reorganization and control of the business."

The ayes were unanimous.

The first venture to engage the new administration was the newspaper.  The Circular had 800 subscribers, of whom nearly 700 took advantage of the free terms.  Frank Wayland-Smith noted that the Shakers had a subscription list of four or five thousand, and suggested that steps be taken to extend The Circular's circulation.  To this end The Circular was succeeded by The American Socialist, a paper designed to become the organ not merely of Oneida, but of Socialists everywhere.

About 20 persons were left at Wallingford "to wait for something to turn up."  Something did turn up almost immediately.  Theodore proposed that the Wallingford Community enter the manufacture of spoons.  Charles Cragin was placed in charge.  This business carries over into the silverware business that survives today as Oneida, Ltd.

*** Cindi Starts ***

And these days we hardly have socialists in America.  It's what happens when you sell out.  Who gives a hoot about who owns the Post Office?  Perfectionists surely didn't care.

So do the folks who make that silverware still sleep together?  Nope, they're just a corporation looking for tax breaks.

I got Holly an Oneida teaspoon on the Internet for a show-and-tell when she gives her paper.

"Now I know none of you can see this little spoon from where you're sitting and I'm not going to pass it around.  But keep in mind that when the first one of these was made, the Community members were all having sexual intercourse together.  While we in the NEA have passed no resolution regarding the matter, deconstructional analysis suggests that the arbitrary values of that era were challenged.  Thank you."

Before I gave it to her, I showed it to my brother and than mixed some sugar into his ice tea with it.  I had our old Hudson's Bay blanket on the grass already.

*** Cindi Ends ***

THAT HANDY INTERNATIONAL BORDER

In 1878 there were 306 members, Oneida having absorbed another free love commune.  The new Oneidans engaged in factional struggle with younger members who wanted things less eccentric.  Some members wanted to hold onto Noyes' leadership; others didn't.  Guys were asking for sex not through the proper channels.  The fabric of community was fraying.

In June 1879, when authorities came to arrest him for mass rape of little girls, Noyes fled to Canada.  Perfectionist Oneida had lost its justification for existence.  Wife whipper Henry Seymour was one of the handful of loyalists who followed Noyes northward.

In fear of prosecution for unorthodox sexual practices, many members quickly married.  A committee was appointed "to consider the advisability of re-organizing upon a joint-stock basis."  On January 1, 1881, the Community formally replaced its communistic economic arrangements with Oneida Community, Limited to manage the assets.

*** Cindi Starts ***

We always hear how Canada is so great, not getting into pointless wars, having socialized medicine, letting homosexuals marry, speaking French, making those blankets and calling their Indians "First Nations".  So if they were so enlightened, why'd they grant asylum to Mr. Child Molester Noyes?

*** Cindi Ends ***

R.I.P.

"JOHN HUMPHREY NOYES, the founder of Oneida Community, died at Niagara Falls, in Canada, last Tuesday.  He was in the 75th year of his age, having been born September 8, 1811.  The public generally have been inclined to look upon Noyes as naturally depraved and wicked, like Brigham Young and some of his confreres in Mormondon, but there is good reason to believe that the Community leader started his peculiar system under the influence of what he deemed religious conviction.  He was educated for the ministry and preached for some time in one of the orthodox denominations, but he early took up the idea of 'perfection,' as illustrated in the workings of Oneida Community, and what religion he had was shipwrecked.  Since he was driven out by the raid of the ministers in 1879, he had resided at Niagara Falls with his wife, a sister, and a few friends.  Besides his wife, he leaves one legitimate son, Dr. Theodore Noyes, of New York City."

The Roman Citizen newspaper, Oneida County, April 13, 1886

The Noyes family tree shows John Humphrey as father to 11 by his wife Harriet and one by Harriet Worden.  Mrs. Worden is the member who wrote the memoir about throwing her doll in the fire.

*** Cindi Starts ***

If you hadn't read Holly's notes, this obit wouldn't mean much, right?  Any of you want them to use the adjective "legitimate" to differentiate your offspring?  As we already read, Mrs. Noyes was "was free from the marriage spirit" too.

Holly also said that John Humphrey fathered eight after age 58, so I'm not sure what the Noyes genealogists want to count.  You know how they're using DNA to figure out what Thomas Jefferson got going with his slave girl Sally Hernings?  Presidents!  Oneida would be a tougher one.

Who do to suppose old John Humphrey's last sex was with?  A guy like him would still be able at 75.  The answer is Harriet.  Both his wife and sister were named that.  Maybe Harriet Worden went to Canada too.

*** Cindi Ends ***

WHAT THE EXPERT SAYS

It's always good to ask the expert.  Here's a compressed excerpt from Nelson M. Blake, Professor of History, Syracuse University

"Noyes himself deserves more respectful treatment as a writer and thinker than he has usually received. However wrong-headed some of his ideas may appear... Noyes could fight with the weapons of theology, quoting Biblical verses to support every point and haggling over the definition of each item. He could also resort to the would-be prophet's favorite secret weapon, the claim of direct revelation from God...  He exalted human intelligence...  Indeed, this prideful reliance upon reason may have been his downfall, insofar as he carried his rejection of conventional morality to extremes that were logical enough but left out of account the deep-rootedness of human institutions.

"In his day - and probably in our own as well - there were all too many loveless and tyrannical marriages, too many women broken in health through excessive childbearing, too many babies brought into the world by shiftless couples unable to care for them properly, and too many children spoiled through parental indulgence. On these and scores of less explosive issues Noyes was a keen observer of society."

*** Cindi Starts ***

Prof. Blake is pretty smart.  Not that he knows anything, maybe (how would we know?), but because he found something fun to research.  I get a raise if I get a Master's.

"Dear Prof. Blake,

"I am interested in doing research in complex marriage.  Would I do a practicum?  I would prefer one in which males refrained from ejaculation.

"Yours truly,

"Cindi Barton"

*** Cindi Ends ***

A COUPLE OF ENDNOTES

In one of Oneida's quagmire of court cases, a young member found the atmosphere uncongenial and demanded $9,150 for $150 of property put in and $1,500 per year for six years of wages.  A month after his succession, his father wrote the Community, "I did not for a moment suppose that he had any idea of attempting the absurd project of extorting money from the Community...  I did however discover, before I parted with him at the depot, that he had what appeared to me a fearfully wicked spirit, and thought that I should not be surprised to hear that he had committed a fearful crime, which would land him in the penitentiary, or some worse place."

The would-be extortionist denounced Oneida as a "spiritual and social despotism...  constantly violating the most sacred laws of God and Man," and calling upon "Merchants, the Press, Bench and Pulpit" to unite in "wiping it out."  The call failed.  The young man was Charles Jules Guiteau, afterwards the assassin of James A. Garfield, President of the United States.

*** Cindi Starts ***

He should have deducted from his claim $1 for twice a week for six years, $624 for services received.  And another $3.57 if he got a pair of Prof. Weills' spectacles.

Guiteau shot the wrong leader, don't you think?  Garfield didn't deflower young women, no more than other Presidents, anyway.  JFK, as a Catholic, would have never told them it was for Jesus.

*** Cindi Ends ***

TIRZAH MILLER

Niece Tirzah Miller was John Humphrey's favorite sexual partner, one generation down, but she liked variety.  Cindi stuck Tirzah in her lake-excursion diary to get her introduced.  Tirzah's memoir tells of her doubts about Noyes, always soothed by prayer so that she would continue within the Community.  She was a hot item criticized for her sexual prowess.  Uncle George fathered her first child without the sanction of his brother.  (Lost in the family tree?  OK, once more.  Tirzah's mom was Charlotte Miller, one of John Humphrey's and George's sisters.)

Homer Barron criticized Tirzah's style,  "The position she sustains in the Community, her relationship to you & your family, and the fact that she is a very attractive woman, makes it very difficult for an ordinary man to control the relation, and it seemed to me that she desired very close relations."

"N", who may be Noyes himself, confirmed, "She liked to be in a romantic kind of love with somebody -- worldly marriage romance; getting a man to loving her so that it is next to impossible to separate them -- so that when separation comes they go nearly crazy -- and that she rather enjoyed that kind of domination over man."

Tirzah wrote about her effort to avoid "special love" analogous to marriage, her quarrels with Noyes and her serial liaisons.  Tirzah chronicled Noyes' suggestions for improving Community life with live sex performed during the religious meetings, a plan never implemented.

*** Cindi Starts ***

My kind of girl!  Neither Perfectionists nor Catholics believe in reincarnation, but maybe there's something to it.  The reasons I know we're the same include us both going to church, both liking guys and both disagreeing that sex should be part of the service.

*** Cindi Ends ***

THE END

****

Holly on the Web

Wherever you found this story on the web, thank you to the server.  My problem is that I've no systematic way to update the various servers.  As literary errors (or just poor word usages) are made known to me, I'll repair that which is salvageable on http://www.asstr.org/~Holly_Rennick/.  My website's not much graphically, I admit, but HTML isn't my native language.

You can contact me via the site's message form, that HTML code by the smart people at ASSTR.

I won't be changing the story significantly, so if you didn't like it before, that much will remain the same.  But if you did like it, an update may read a bit more cleanly.

Holly

