This is a work of gay erotic fiction. It contains very explicit
sex scenes between consenting college students. If this type of
material is illegal to view where you live, or if you are under
18 years of age, read no further.
This story cannot be copied, used, distributed or charged for by
any other party, without express written consent of the author.
I would be glad to receive feedback via the email address:
Hasimir.Fenrig@gmx.de
Please note that English is not my native language. Moreover,
this is a work of fiction. Any inconsistencies with real life
facts are fully intended. So don't bother to send me corrections.
I am not listening. La, la, la... ^^

Opposites attract
I didn't want to return to my dorm room. Not yet. I would indulge
in just one more little delay, before I would have to endure its
half-emptiness. A Latte Macchiato from the college cafeteria
would buy me another quarter of an hour. Josh moving out of our
room, which we had shared for two years, had been devastating for
me. He had become more than a roommate. He was my friend, one of
my best friends. His departure after graduation had been an
inevitable fact, a fact which I had been too good at ignoring.
Now I was confronted with its finality and the loss hit me even
harder. I missed our discussions, ranging from simple banter to
philosophical discourse. Josh had been an English major and was
an expert on poetry, I had finally decided on becoming a math
major last term. We had spent hours talking about logic in
language, logic in mathematics, logic in general. Even more, I
missed his mere presence, simply knowing that I was not alone.
I didn't have many friends here at college. Besides Josh, there
was only Rob, short for Roberta, who I considered a close friend.
She lived in the same dorm as me, third floor. She was studying
to become an electrical engineer, a person you could trust
without reservations and brutally frank.  You just had to love
her... or hate her. Rob polarized. There was nothing `in between'
about her. She was to arrive in three days time, on Sunday
evening, and till then I would be on my own.
That wasn't exactly true. Room administration had informed me by
letter that
"Kevin Schneider will arrive on Thursday to share room 204 with
you. Kevin is studying physical therapy and physical education in
his third year transferring from State University. Please welcome
him heartily to our learning community. We are sure that you will
complement each other well bla bla bla".
That was the other reason I was avoiding to return to the room. I
was in the paradoxical situation of feeling alone, while not
wanting to spend time with a stranger. A stranger who would enter
my life this afternoon.
I had tutored fellow students the entire morning. My third term
in Bergmont College was about to start next week, but the
officially sponsored tutoring program had started weeks before
the official courses did. So I had spent much more time in the
loneliness of my room than I really had needed.
Though the program was to blame that I had to be here now, it was
also a welcome opportunity. Professor Smyth, my Calculus
professor, had invited me into the tutoring job to help the
`mathematically underprivileged' being his exact wording. A
teaching career in mathematics, especially at a college, was a
very appealing possibility. The program helped me to keep in the
subject and gave me teaching experience... and some extra
frustration. My pupils had the tendency not to be very
cooperative most of the time, though I gave my best to prepare
them for the upcoming term. When Prof. Smyth was explaining
mathematics, it felt like he was revealing the mysteries of the
universe to you. For most of my fellow students, Calculus was
exactly this: an unsolvable mystery. But everyone loved Prof.
Smyth's courses, despite their difficulty. It was still a long
way for me to come to this point.
Having finished my Latte, I was finally on my way to the dorm.
Many other places I would have preferred to be came to my mind,
one of them being home.
I missed Mom and Dad. Our relationship had deepened even more,
when I had come out to them shortly before leaving for college.
Mom and Dad had lived through the standard phases of a kid coming
out to them:
1.	the "it's a phase"-phase
2.	the "it's our fault"-phase, the dominant mother and absent
father stuff
3.	the "it's ok, we love you nonetheless"-phase
Perhaps not exactly standard... in the LGBT meetings at college,
I had heard many stories of parents not being that supportive and
worse. I actually called Mom and Dad after such a meeting to tell
them that I loved them. That frightened the hell out of them, and
they asked me whether I was taking drugs or if I was fatally ill.
I was pissed at their reaction then, but in hindsight, it was
funny and I had to grin at the memory. Family... that was my
older sister Tiffany as well. My emotional spectrum for her
covered everything from "my dearest sister, foundation of my
heart and soul" up to "you fucking bitch, go and get run over by
a train, please". We had quite a normal sibling relationship, I
assume. She has been married for three years now to Marc, the
best brother-in-law one could imagine.
"He is too good for you" I had said to my sister.
She had shrugged and answered
"I know."
Their son Christopher was now two years old and the cutest child
in the world. I was his godfather and though I wasn't at all
involved in his making or uprising, I was quite proud of him.
I had arrived at the dorm. On the days I was not avoiding my
room, I very much liked that building. The dorm was made of red
brick, which gave it a classical touch. Small patches of flowers
winded along with the gravel path leading to the entrance. A
solid wooden double door with large glass panes gave way to the
hall. A mismatched collection of couches and armchairs had been
brought here, mostly leave-behinds of former students. During any
time of the day, someone was occupying one of those seats,
reading, writing, discussing with others. A coffee dispenser
added its caffeinated aroma to this place. I loved the
atmosphere. Today it was quite, as I already said, term was about
to start next week, but I gave a short wave to the people
lingering there. Our college had a very liberal approach to
student accommodation. Both genders were not only allowed in one
building, each floor (of which we had three) was mixed. The rooms
were not, but that was only a technicality.
When opening the glass door to the stair case, my eyes fell on my
reflection. I was small, really small and skinny. I wasn't
exactly happy with my tiny frame, but my body and mind had
resisted any serious attempt at sports. Under the untamable mass
of my black hair, green eyes were staring back at me, mild
self-contempt showing in them.
Another bad hair day, bad body day, bad room day, bad roommate
day. When it rains, it pours.
I mustered a smile at myself, trying to break that pang of
self-pity which was so unlike me.
Despite my efforts, it didn't help my mood to look at the name
plate which was mounted left of the door to room 204. It read
"Leon Fitzgerald. Kevin Schneider."
Josh's name had been removed. All traces that he had ever lived
here had vanished.
I sat in my half-empty room, alternating between staring at its
white walls and grey floor. Two study desks stood together right
below the only, but large window of the room. When working, you
sat opposite to your roommate. The desks had been arranged that
way by the room administration to "facilitate communication and
exchange". The beds had been placed at the walls, wardrobes,
shelves and filing cabinets had been put up at the walls with the
window and the door. Josh's side of the room was empty, of
course, but my side was decorated with a poster of Bertrand
Russell, the mathematician and philosopher, a Star Trek Voyager
poster ("A faggy touch of nerdiness" ...that was Rob speaking)
and a poster depicting the formula "e^(i*pi)=-1", which was
considered one of the most beautiful formulas in the world,
because it connected the 4 most important numbers in mathematics.
Many math books filled my shelf and only a few fantasy and sci-fi
novels could be found there. My parents had given me a stereo
with CD player as a parting gift, which stood in the middle of
the joined desks at the window side, so that both Josh and I had
access to it.
Perhaps the new one would like to play his music there, too.
The gloomy mood I had when entering the dorm had transformed and
had gained an edge of nervousness. I did not know what to expect
of this Kevin Schneider. I had been extremely lucky with Josh. A
roommate becoming your best friend that was a rare occurrence. It
could only go downhill from here.
Kevin is doing phys ed.
I hated people, who categorized persons without knowing them.
Being tiny as I was, I had more often than not been put in the
`weak and frail' drawer. But I couldn't help to imagine him as a
dumb jock. I didn't dare to follow this train of thought to its
end. It had been easy to come out to Josh and Rob, being sure of
their acceptance. I had no idea how to deal with the possibility
of living together with a plain and dull homophobe.
That was completely me: overanalyzing, worrying, pining away with
what-ifs and could-bes. It was 3 o'clock now. He would be here
anytime soon.

I startled at the rapping at my door. Nobody in this dorm ever
bothered to knock the door, people just entered.
"On my way..." I said with a sad excuse for a confident voice.
I opened the door... and was staring at the midsection of a man.
My eye level was somewhere between his pecs and his navel. Not
that I could see any of those: he wore a plain white t-shirt and
khakis. The t-shirt was strained to its seams by what must have
been the biggest mass of muscle I had ever seen on a man. His
chest could literally rival with the chest of a bear. His arms
could have been branches of a mighty tree. I looked up. He had
bowed down a little bit, so that he could see me and not only the
door frame. I looked into a face under a bunch of curly, light
blond hair, with the most boyish and cordial smile possible on
it. When discussing poetry with Josh, I had always mocked about
authors comparing eyes to gems, but "sapphires" was the only word
that could approximately describe the color and brightness of his
eyes. His features were delicate and manly at once. He was clean
shaven and a very subtle hint of his aftershave surrounded him.
"Hi, my name is Kevin Schneider. Are you..." he looked at the
door plate "Leon Fitzgerald?"
His voice was a deep baritone that gave me goose bumps.
"Um... yes... I am Leon Fitzgerald. You are my new roommate, I
assume."
My voice had cracked several times during these few words. I
cleaned my throat.
"Nice to meet you, Kevin."
"Nice to meet you, Leon."
And he extended his hand. I was reluctant to call it hand,
because it was twice the size of mine. Paw would have been a much
more appropriate term. We shook hands/paws and I was surprised,
that his grip was firm, but still gentle considering his mass. I
stepped to the side, so that he could finally enter. Though this
entire scene had taken seconds at most, I felt as if hours had
passed. He bowed down a little more and came into the room. My
first impression of him intensified even more: the most massive
man I had ever met. But his powerful body was interestingly
contrasted by his friendly demeanor.
"Leon, I know, most people feel a little intimidated, when they
see me the first time..."
"Even the incredible Hulk would feel a little intimidated by
you."
Had I said that aloud? Leon Fitzgerald speaking before thinking?
But his answer was a deep chuckle, followed by
"Like the incredible Hulk, I use my strength only for helping
people in distress and I don't have anger management issues."
The chuckle gave me goose bumps again and now it was my turn to
grin.
"I will fetch the rest of my stuff from my car."
I realized that a duffel bag was his only baggage.
"I can help you. What I lack in strength, I compensate with
enthusiasm."
Once again he chuckled, a sound I definitely loved to hear.
"Leon, you don't have to. If you have other things to do..."
"The courses do not start before next week. I have more time on
hands than I can usefully spend. After bringing your stuff here,
I can show you the campus, if you like."
"That would be nice!" He beamed at me.
It took less than an hour to bring the boxes and bags from his
car to our room. That wasn't exactly my merit: while I struggled
to get one box up the stairs of the dorm, he easily had one under
each arm and a duffel bag around his neck. I watched his muscles
play under the fabric of his t-shirt and his pants, looked at his
biceps bulging, when lifting a box. All the muscles that nature
had denied me had been transferred to Kevin somehow. But I didn't
mind and enjoyed the show. Though second thoughts followed suit:
having the hots for your roommate was the subject of bad internet
porn. Hitting onto someone, who could easily break me into two
halves, was not the most intelligent thing to do. Moreover, we
had to live together for at least one term.
Friendship good, crush bad.
But given the effect he had on me, I would be in love sometime
this evening and would propose marriage tomorrow. My would-ifs
and could-bes came to the rescue.
Most probably, he is not gay. Even if he is gay, why should he be
interested in me? He could have a boyfriend or more likely a
girlfriend.
These thoughts brought me back to the ground with a vengeance. I
decided not to let my feelings overwhelm me. For a mathematician,
it was that easy. At least, I hoped so. He was the most gorgeous
man I knew, but I would strife to be the best roommate I could be
and that included not hitting on him.
"A penny for your thoughts?" Kevin said smiling his boyish smile
again.
He had just finished unpacking most of his stuff and had returned
from parking his car in the long-time parking lot of the college.
"Just some math stuff I am thinking about..." I mumbled.
"Right. The letter said you are a math major. I am thinking of
taking an introductory Calculus course for some extra credits. "
"Cool! I could help you learning... if you need to... and want
to...Kevin"
The latter part was a stuttered mess, but nonetheless, his smile
deepened.
"Yeah, really cool. And if you knew my math performance in high
school, you wouldn't even think about adding `ifs' to a sentence
dealing with Kevin Schneider and mathematics... and by the way:
everyone calls me Kev."
"Okay... Kev... I promised you the great campus tour."
"Can you include some place to eat? I am starving."
"Sure. Then prepare yourself for Deng Long's, the most un-Chinese
Chinese deli in the western hemisphere..."
Deng Long's was really a special place. The owner, whom we all
called Deng Long, but that wasn't his real name for sure, had
less Chinese genes than me. He didn't even look remotely Asian
and had a mid-western accent. He served a wild mix of Asian food,
which he all advertised as being Chinese nonetheless. But all his
meals were excellent and Deng Long's was an institution on the
campus. Kev looked a little bit puzzled.
"You will soon understand."
That resulted in one more of those spine-energizing chuckles.
Since Kev was hungry, we started our tour at Deng Long's. We
exchanged knowing glances, when I introduced him to Deng Long
himself. The place was heavily decorated with dragons, the
eastern-style, snakelike dragons. Chinese calligraphies had been
put on the walls. One of the students at the dorm, who was of
Chinese descent, had told us that most of the signs weren't even
real Chinese ideograms. But one of the signs actually read "No
parking allowed!" It suited the fake charm of this place
perfectly.
Kev ordered some Cantonese duck with lots of fried rice and I
went for the soup `Beijing', since I was not really hungry.
"This is great... wanna taste?" Kev said and the fork was already
almost in my mouth. "Thanks I..." I started and he simply shoved
the piece of duck in.
"I meant: no thanks, but thanks anyway" I put on a shy smile.
"Sorry." And a sly grin crept across his handsome features.
He talked about his two years at State U, while we were eating.
He explained to me that in physical therapy it was useful to
learn more than one therapeutical approach and that was the
reason, why he wanted to transfer here. He wanted to specialize
in sports injuries and their treatments. I told him about my
plans of becoming a college instructor.
"If you can teach me Calculus, you can teach anyone." One more
chuckle of his.
After our early dinner, I showed him the campus. Lecture halls,
administration buildings, sport halls, our football and baseball
fields were all part of the tour.
"This is one of the few colleges, which participates in college
level bodybuilding competitions and offers a full scholarship
based on it. My former college did, too."
Kevin explained to me, when we were heading back to our dorm.
"I was wondering, which sport requires such level of.... muscle
development."
He laughed.
"Yeah, not many sports require that much surplus mass."
"That was not what I... sorry, no offense meant."
"None taken."
"So you participate in competitions?"
"Sure. The State U team won the national college finals. I was
part of the team."
"Awesome."
We had arrived at the dorm again and got up to our room.
"Thanks for showing me around. That was nice of you."
"You are welcome!"
"Most people need a little time to get beyond that intimidation
stuff..."
"Hey, I have to share a room with you. Being afraid of my
roommate isn't exactly what I intended to do this term. And you
don't turn green..."
We grinned at each other.
"I would like to try out the training room here. Have to spend
time there, if I want to keep my scholarship." He said that
jokingly, but I knew it held a grain of truth.
"Um, Leon. I haven't got the keys to the lockers yet. Do you mind
if I change here?"
"No prob."
I smiled again, but it was a nervous smile. What had I expected?
I had seen Josh naked and half-naked many times. Of course, it
would be the same with Kev.
Can you get used to seeing this body naked without getting too
obviously aroused?
 I asked myself and wasn't sure, if I liked the answer. Kev had
started to get rid of the t-shirt and the khakis soon followed. I
could see the true level of his definition for the first time.
Every single muscle was clearly visible as a distinct feature.
While my body felt soft to the touch, the same would not hold
true for Kev's body. Touching him would be like touching a
granite sculpture.
Stop it!
Having this kind of thoughts would interfere with my intentions
not to get too involved. My resolve did not last long... not when
Kevin dropped his boxers and revealed the most adorable butt,
bubbly and muscled, simply perfect. He put on a jock strap
instead, which, of course, didn't cover his butt. By sheer force
of will, I moved my head to look outside of the window. I wiped
my mouth, because I wasn't sure, whether I was drooling. When I
looked again, Kev was dressed in a black t-shirt and grey track
pants.
"See you in two hours then."
He waved and left.
It was now six o'clock. I went from worrying about my new
roommate to (almost?) drooling over him in just three hours time.
This had to be a new record. I wrote an email to Josh, telling
him that my new roomie was a nice guy. Josh had always been cool
with me being gay, but I didn't want him to bother with my
feelings for Kev. That privilege would be reserved for poor Rob.
She would be here in three days. That meant three days, which I
had to spend with Kev and my feelings alone. That was the moment,
I decided that the universe was playing a prank on me by pairing
me with this adorable hunk of a man.
"I'll play along!"  I announced to the universe.
Never get cocky with the universe, because that was when Kev
returned. He was glistening with sweat, his clothes drenched in
it. Not once in my life had I thought of the smell of sweat as
sexy before, but living proof was standing in the middle of the
room. Kev radiated a male and musky aroma that clicked something
in my brain.
"Nice session. Very good equipment, way better than at State U."
He looked exhausted and energized at once. I showed him where the
dorm showers were and quickly returned to the room, opening the
window to get rid of that aphrodisiac floating through the room.
"Sorry for bringing the stench... I'll leave it at the locker
room next time." Kev hinted at the open window with a grin, when
he had returned.
"That was not the reason, I opened the window. I, uh, always let
fresh air in the evening. Helps to stay focused and awake."
What the heck are you talking there, dude?
Kev's grin broadened into a smile.
"You're too nice for this world. No need to invent cover up
stories. I stink... uh... stank. The shower helped."
He had dressed in the shower room into another t-shirt / track
pants combination. As far I had seen, he owned quite a lot of
those. And they absolutely suited him. He would look good in
almost any clothes, while my sorry excuse for a body needed
special packaging to be presentable.
"I will have to keep my change... for all the pennies I will need
for your thoughts."
"Sorry. It will take a little time to get used again to someone
around, who is interested in what I'm thinking."
I tried to dampen the impact of this sentence by putting on my
most amiable smile.
"Oh yes, Leon Fitzgerald. It's difficult to have secrets from Kev
Schneider. You will learn soon."
We both burst out in laughter.
"And it's difficult to extract them from Leon Fitzgerald."
"Then we'll both have a mission to accomplish."
Kev sat down on his bed and looked into one of the duffel bags,
which he had not emptied yet.
"Can I connect my iPod to your stereo? It's some German band. My
grandpa emigrated from Germany in the 1930s as a young boy. I
can't get a straight German sentence out, but I understand it
quite well. And the music is very cool."
"Sure. Schneider... that sounds German."
"Yeah. Means `tailor' in English and thanks."
He connected the small device to the stereo and a song was
playing at low volume soon. It was a strange, but interesting,
experience to listen to music and to have no clue about the
lyrics, which were sung by a pleasant female voice.
"The band is `Wir sind Helden'... um... `We are heroes'... and
the song is `Nur ein Wort'... that's `Just one word'... she is
pleading to a person, whom she is in love with, to say a single
word to her... returning her love... as far as I understand it.
Their lyrics are full of puns and some of those I don't get."
"I really like it." I smiled again, but my thoughts were racing.
Why had he chosen exactly this song? Was this supposed to be a
hint? Or was it a coincidence? What-ifs and could-bes again.
Sometimes I wished I was thick like a loaf of bread, that I
hadn't to bother with thinking and started to just live.
We spent the whole evening listening to music. From time to time,
Kev explained a song and I acknowledged his explanations,
sometimes inquiring about a part or phrase of a song. We didn't
talk much, but our silence wasn't bothersome. We were both at
ease and enjoyed the music together. At 10 o'clock, Kev told me
that he was tired from the long drive and the training and we
both went to sleep. At least, I tried to sleep. I was pondering
about Kev and the situation as a whole. I was still resolved not
to make any move on him, but the afternoon and evening with him
had been more fun than anything in a very long time. Would a
constant feel-good-time wear down my defenses at last? What if I
came on to him and the feelings weren't mutual? I imagined any
reaction from a polite rejection to a violent attack. After too
many hours spent with such thoughts, I finally slid into an
uneasy sleep. Dreams and reality mixed into a haunted state of
mind.

I awoke with a start, when someone said my name. I looked up at
Kev, who stood at the side of my bed. It was early morning as a
quick glance out of the window confirmed.
"Leon? I wondered, whether you would like to come jogging with
me."
"I...I am not a good runner. I would be more of a burden than a
partner."
"I don't mind. Running isn't really part of my training. It's
more like a morning ritual. To get started... to have some energy
for the day. I'd be glad to have you with me."
"Okay, okay. But don't complain that I didn't warn you."
Kev chuckled and the more often I listened to that sound the more
I liked it.
"Boy scout's promise: no complaint will come out of this mouth."
He crossed his heart.
It was a childish gesture, but it was sincere. The look on his
face left no doubt.
"I'll just change into something more appropriate and off we go."
I said.
The both of us running must have been a very grotesque picture.
Both dressed in similar sweat suits, one a huge bear of a man,
the other more like a slender weasel. We talked about my lack of
interest in any sports and Kev's affinity to them. I was
surprised at my own stamina. I lasted through the entire run,
which led us through the park like parts of the campus. I was
sweating and panted a little bit, but overall I had performed
quite well.
"Hey, you liar! Not a good runner? You are kidding me!" Kev joked
afterwards.
"A little more training and you simply leave me behind, eating
your dust."
"Who is the liar now?" I retorted in mock exasperation.
We both laughed.
"No, really. If you ran every day, you would soon see some
progress. Trust me. You are a natural runner. Remember: I am
studying phys ed. I know what I am talking about."
"With you as my personal trainer... sounds like a plan."
It was intended as a joke, but Kev stopped and extended his hand.
"Deal?"
"Deal." I shook his hand.
"Welcome to Schneider's running school then." Kev's face radiated
a cheerful light and his good mood was contagious.
We arrived at our room.
"What about taking a shower and then some breakfast together?"
"Everything the trainer instructs me to."
Kev raised a finger, like giving me a lecture. But he couldn't
keep his face straight for more than a few moments.
"Ok, my pupil. Then off to the showers!"
Now it hit me that we would be showering together. Moreover, the
dorm showers didn't have stalls. There were several shower heads
attached to the wall in a line. I had wondered before, whether
this lack of privacy had been intentionally created to "give a
space to freely exchange thought and idea even when grooming
yourself". My mind raced to find an excuse, a delay, for not to
have to go there with him, but I couldn't come up with anything
plausible. So I gathered fresh clothes, my towel, a bottle of
shower gel and followed Kev to the shower rooms.
Dead man walking.
Why did the mind always resort to irony, when confronted with
hopeless situations? The showers had a small changing room. The
mixed gender policy discouraged most students to cross the floor
clad in a towel only. The shower room had white tiles everywhere,
except on the ceiling. In the changing room, there were two
wooden banks and several hooks for clothing. The changing room
was separated from the showers by a half-wall. Kev was talking to
me, but nothing he said really came through to me as soon as we
had started to undress. I would see him naked, all of him and not
only the back side like yesterday. What bothered me even more was
that Kev would see me without clothes. I felt embarrassed. But
this feeling was replaced by shock, when Kev had finished
undressing and had turned to me. I should have seen it coming:
everything about Kev's body was approximately twice the size in
comparison to me. This scaling was obviously valid for all body
parts. My cock was pretty much average in length and diameter,
perhaps a little tad on the longer side of average, but Kev's
member was far beyond any mean value. It was long and thick,
veins showing on its surface. I wondered, whether it would grow
much more, when he became aroused. Below his cock dangled to full
balls, surrounded by short blond pubic hair.
Don't stare, don't stare, don't stare...
I wasn't sure, whether he had seen my interest in his groin or
not. If he had, he very convincingly pretended not to have
noticed and continued his friendly chatter. Showering itself was
without incident. I was even able to add to the chat, which was
necessary to distract myself and to avoid getting rock hard. Soon
we were clean, dry and dressed again, back in the `safety' of our
room.
"Any suggestions for breakfast? You are the campus expert."
"The cafeteria by the lecture hall center has pretty decent stuff
and quite affordable prices."
"Affordable sounds good." Kev's mood changed. His bright eyes had
lost some of their sparkle.
"I thought you are on a full scholarship and with some help from
your parents..."
"Full scholarship: yes; some help from my parents: definitely
not."
I punched myself mentally for being an insensible asshole.
"Kev, I am sorry, I did not mean to..."
"Leon, there is nothing you have to be sorry for. It's absolutely
not your fault that I have two ignorant, uncaring bastards for
parents."
"Wanna talk about it?"
"No. Leon. Not yet. Are we cool?"
"Of course, we are." I managed an encouraging grin and gripped
Kev by his left arm.
"If you didn't know: our personal training contract comes with a
full breakfast provision."
"Leon, you don't have to. I am not THAT poor."
Nonetheless, brightness began to return to his eyes, lighting up
his entire face.
"Kev, I don't have to, but I want to. How am I supposed to feel
having you as a trainer, if I am not allowed to compensate for
your time and effort?"
I tugged at his arm and he followed.
"Thanks, Leon." He said, barely louder than a whisper.
It had never occurred to me that other students might be
struggling financially. Who was an ignorant bastard here? My Dad
was quite a successful lawyer and Mom had a flourishing shop for
upper class bridal and evening wear. My parents paid my studies
and gave me a very generous monthly allowance. Most of it went to
a saving account. I called it my `picket fence fund', because it
was supposed to be a cash-down for a nice home in the future.
Some of it would be diverted to Kev now. I knew I was skating on
thin ice here. He was never to know, what I was doing. But this
nice guy deserved to have some worries eased of him and if my
money was able to buy that, it would do. I would find ways to
accomplish that. I could be very creative, when it mattered.
By the time we had our breakfast on our tablets (scrambled eggs
with bacon, hot rolls and coffee for both of us) Kev was back to
his joyful manner. He told me about his body building training
plan. He trained every day, but concentrated on different muscle
groups each day.
"Muscles need rest to grow."
He went on with details about muscle anatomy and, to my own
astonishment, I found myself interested in his explanations. He
told me, he would do the training same time as yesterday. Before
training he would have to get done some paper works with
administration and some errands.
"But after training, we can hang out together, if you like?"
"What about cinema? There is this action flick."
"Sorry, Leon. But at the moment I have to sit on every dollar. I
will try to get a job soon, but till then..."
"Don't worry, Kev. I know someone working at the cinema. She
sometimes has spare free tickets for me. If I ask nicely..."
That wasn't exactly the truth. I did know someone working at the
cinema, a fellow math student. But she never had any spare free
tickets. Nonetheless, I could easily afford two tickets, popcorn
and stuff. I felt a little guilty for lying to Kev. However, he
would never accept me paying for cinema.
"Cool. I'll be finished with training by eight o'clock.
Showering, dressing... I could make it for a nine o'clock show,
okay?"
"Sounds fine for me."
We parted our ways. I did tutoring lessons from 11- 2 o'clock,
had a small lunch by myself and went to the city by bus to buy
the tickets. They offered gift certificates for popcorn, candies
and soft drinks, their design being very plain. So I bought one
of those as well. Seemed like I had found some creative ways to
hide my funding schemes.

Kev returned by 8:30, fully dressed. We took the bus and I showed
Kevin the tickets and the certificate.
"Cool. Entertainment and food." He grinned.
I could have sworn that there had been a slight frown on his
face, when he had looked at the tickets. But the lighting in the
bus was poor.
We had two trash cans full of popcorn, at least the buckets were
the size of trash cans, some candy bars and two cups full of
cola. The movie was a very typical action flick: high body count,
extensive use of explosives, cheesy one-liner dialogue. Perfect
entertainment! We replayed parts of it in the bus on our way back
home; Kev being the hero and me being the foul-mouthed sidekick.
It was hilarious. The other passengers on the bus may have
differed, but we didn't mind.
In our room, we both quickly dressed for bed and kept talking
about the movie. But after another hour, we finally switched our
bed-side lamps off.
I let the day pass by in my mind and realized how wonderful it
had been: from the running to the showering (that hadn't been so
wonderful live, but was definitely good on the replay), to
breakfast and finally to the cinema. Even tutoring lessons had
felt less frustrating today.
"Leon?" Kev's voice came hushed from the other side of the dark
room.
"Um?"
"Free tickets normally don't come with credit card numbers on
them, do they?"
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
So much for being creative. The plan had been good, but had
flatlined due to lacking attention to details. How stupid do you
have to be to pay `free' tickets by credit card? The frown had
been for real then...
"Kev, see... I... "
"I should be angry, because you lied to me..."
So I had succeeded in turning this wonderful day into a
catastrophe.
"... but I can't remember when someone did something that nice
for me the last time."
Kev switched on his bed-side lamp and was looking directly into
my eyes.
"You asked me how you should feel, if you were not allowed to pay
for the training. I ask you: how am I supposed to feel for being
dependent on charity?"
I had no answer to that question.
"Promise me: you will not pull such a stunt again? Okay?"
"Kev... I didn't do it to embarrass you or make you feel small. I
just wanted to treat you to something nice. I just wanted to
share."
"Promise?"
"Yes, I promise."
He gave me a short nod and a smile. Kev switched off the light
again.
"And Leon?"
"Um?"
"Thanks for caring for me." He added in a very low voice.

I had slept surprisingly well given the events of last night.
Once again, I woke up being called by Kev.
"Leon? Time to get up. First training lesson." Kev was back to
full grinning mode. At least, he gave no hint that he was still
holding a grudge against me for buying the tickets.
With a night's sleep distance, I was clearly aware, what I had
tried to do: overcompensating for my feelings for Kev. Giving
money to Kev was just another way to express those feelings...
and a bad way for sure. My mom was the kitchen psychologist in
our family, but I was more like her than I sometimes wanted to be
true.
It was 7:30 now.
"Starting late, because it's Saturday. I thought on weekdays,
we'll start at 6:30. So we'll be in time for the courses. Okay?"
"Okay... I think..." What had I agreed to? That sounded like real
work.
"Get up, sleepy head!" Kev snatched my pillow away and threatened
me with it, still beaming at me.
"I'm coming, I'm coming."
We changed into training clothes and started our run. Kev gave me
some general hints on keeping a steady running rhythm and some
good advice on breathing. He showed me how to check my pulse and
to adapt the pace accordingly. Though most of his tips were
simple, they helped. We covered the same distance in
approximately the same time as yesterday, but I wasn't as
exhausted as I had been the day before. I told Kev so.
"Leon, I've told you. You are a natural. With a little guidance,
you will become one hell of a runner."
"Must be the excellent trainer I have."
"Thanks."
That one was muttered and he had dropped his gaze to the ground.
Kev was cute, when he was embarrassed.
We had returned to our room. On our door was a post-it telling me
that a parcel had arrived for me and that Sean and Keith, our
room neighbors, kept it for me.
Oh, fuck!
I had completely forgotten about that one.
"Wanna fetch it before showering?" Kev asked.
"Um, sure."
There would be no way to get the parcel without Kev inquiring
about its contents.
I knocked at our dorm mates' door, thanked them for accepting the
parcel and returned to our room.
"Considering the look on your face there is nothing nice in
there, huh?" Kev pointed at the box in my hands.
"Kev... um... I... you..."
"Okay." He drew that one out. "What's in it?"
I opened the parcel and produced two track suits, one my size and
one Kev's size.
"I know that brand. They are made of one of those high-tech
materials. Really good stuff. I read about it in a sports
magazine... but those are $200 each..."
I kept silent, avoiding his gaze.
"How did you plan to explain those?"
"Packaging error... no return policy for sportswear..." I
admitted in a low voice.
"Exactly my size? Oh, what a coincidence..."
"Prepared a nice speech about probability and statistics. And I
had looked up your size in one of your pants."
"Please remind me to never sleep with my back to you, you
sneaky..."
"Son of a lawyer." I completed his sentence. That caught him off
guard. I went for an offensive.
"I ordered those, before we left for the cinema per overnight
express. So, technically they are not covered by the promise."
"Technically? Son of a lawyer. How fitting."
I interrupted him.
"Kev, look at it as some kind of fine for fucking it up with the
cinema. And yes: son of a lawyer and son of a shop owner. Money
has never been important to me, but not losing a friend about
some shit like this that is most important to me."
Kev's face was working, hinting at the thoughts that were running
through his head.
"You call me a friend? We happen to know each other for less than
48 hours and you consider me a friend?"
"Pretty desperate and pathetic, isn't it?"
"No. It's pretty desperate and pathetic to call someone his best
friend after less than 48 hours. Come here!"
Kev drew me into a tight bear hug. And `tight' should be read as
`crushing' here.
"Kev... if you want your best friend to live...loosen that grip."
I had to groan.
He let go of me.
"Did I hurt you?" There was worry written on his face.
"Not as much as I hurt you." and I pointed to the track suit.
"It's okay. The way to hell is paved with good intentions." He
smiled slyly.
"Please, keep it. You have real use for it. And it will remind me
to never ever fuck up like this again."
"But it's too expensive..."
"Remember the part about money not being important?"
"Wow. In not quite two days, I acquired a roommate, best friend
and a pimp."
"I would prefer to be considered a patron, not a pimp."
We both burst out laughing and Kev drew me into another bear hug,
which was much gentler than the first one.
"Much better dosage of strength. Keep in mind that your best bud
is quite frail."
He released me, raised his fists into a defensive position, made
a parody of an angry face and mock punched me on the shoulder.
"You are sturdier than you think." And laughing he added "And: in
just seven days, I can make you a man."
"Rocky Horror Picture Show? You know it?"
"Know it and love it." He grinned.
"Hey, there is a fan club here on campus. They use every excuse
to show it as often as possible. Today being the last Saturday
before semester is enough for an excuse. Wanna go? It's free."
"Sure. That'll be fun. Two movies in a row, but that's Rocky
Horror."
"They make every participant wear a badge with the name of the
role on it you resemble the most. That will be Rocky for you, I
fear." I made an innocent face.
"And you are Frank-N-Furter!" he poked his tongue out at me.
"I've got the legs for it."

Showering with Kev wasn't as intimidating as it had been
yesterday. He was still the most physically attractive man, I had
met in my life, but the added dimension of our starting
friendship had taken away a certain edge from this attraction. I
was quite sure now that this would work out somehow. I could live
with him and be easy about it.
"What's on your mind? You are grinning like a Cheshire cat."
Kev had just started soaping up and was looking at me.
"I am thinking about us. How lucky I have been with my new
roommate."
That wasn't even a lie. At most, a lie of omission.
"Amen to that." He beamed at me.
"Who's the Cheshire cat now?" I teased him.
We both chuckled.
Kev and I spent the whole morning together: first having
breakfast, afterwards hanging out in our room. I told him about
my family including my sister, her husband and Christopher, my
godchild. We talked about, when we had seen the Rocky Horror
Picture Show for the first time and how we both had grown to love
it. We exchanged many of those small tidbits of information
giving us a more wholesome impression of each other. The more
time I spent with Kev, the more I grew attached to the person he
was. The pin-up fantasy, that had entered my room on Thursday,
was gradually replaced by the real Kev. And the real Kev was by
far more interesting and attractive than the fantasy. The sexual
tension had not exactly waned, it had transformed. It had gained
a butterflies-in-the-stomach quality. I was well aware that this
wasn't the best of developments in terms of my resolve not to
start anything with Kev. Ultimately, this could lead to more pain
than simple physical attraction, much more. There was happening
too much in too short a time. But that was the `privilege of
youth', as my grandma would have put it, to rush in with flying
flags. `Enjoy it while it lasts' would have been her next advice.
"I'll be early for training today. Coach wants to meet me and
most of the team is already here, so I can meet them as well."
Kev informed me during our lunch made up of some sandwiches we
ate in our room.
"Rocky Horror will start at eight o'clock."
"That'll be no problem. I think I'll be back by seven o'clock."
He got up, shoved the last piece of sandwich into his mouth,
grabbed his sports bag and left, but not without waving me
good-bye.
Today there would be no tutoring anymore, so I was free to do
what I wanted. I started with checking, whether I had registered
for all the courses I wanted to take using my notebook. Prof.
Smyth offered a special course in complex analysis and had
personally invited me to participate. I double checked whether
the reservation for this course was valid. I printed out my
timetable, which was quite convenient this term. No tedious
pauses between courses, I had at least one hour of lunch time
every day and on Friday my academic day ended on 12 o'clock. That
was really nice, because Kev had told me that his bodybuilding
competitions would take place mostly on Friday afternoons. And I
planned to attend every single one. The rest of the afternoon, I
spent revisiting some facts about complex numbers and ended up
reading a fantasy novel, which I had begun to read an eternity
ago, but hadn't bothered to finish. While reading, I listened to
`Wir sind Helden' again. Kev had insisted on me using all of his
stuff as if it was mine.
"If I ever need a tent, I will go for one of your t-shirts." I
had joked.
"And of course, all of my stuff is for you to use, too."
"Cool. So whenever I need warm toes, I can use your t-shirts."
Reliving this banter and having the music, his music, playing
gave me a warm feeling.
He's gone for three hours and you already miss him.

The afternoon passed and I changed for our visit to the college
movie club, before Kev had returned. I felt like dressing up,
though I wasn't exactly sure what for.
For him, of course.
That nagging little voice in my head had to add. I let this
comment slip by. Who am I to contradict myself? I chose the pair
of blue jeans that were tight on my ass, but loose on the legs.
As a top, I decided for a black longsleeve. It had those almost
rectangular applications on the shoulders, which made me look a
little bit broader.
It takes more than a little cloth to look broader than him.
Ignoring the more petulant part of me, I finished my clothing by
going for the red chucks and getting that nice beige jacket out
of the closet. It was September and the nights here could already
get a little chilly.
He can keep you warm.
 "Oh, shut the fuck up!" I said aloud.
Fine, talking to oneself. One of the sure signs of a healthy
mind. I fetched my wallet and checked it for the student's id
card, when I dropped it to the ground.
Well done, Clumsy Smurf.
I bent down to get it up.
"Oh." Kev's voice came from the door.
I turned around quickly and straightened myself. For one
heartbeat, Kev's gaze lingered, where my ass had been a second
ago. His cheeks turned the slightest shade of red.
"Um... that's not good for your vertebrae... bending down like
this... I mean..."
Had I really caught him red handed looking at my rear? That would
have been too good to be true. I decided for my own mental health
that I would simply ignore it and that he had not stared.
"You dressed up really nice for the evening. Expecting anyone
special?"
"Only you."
I played on his embarrassment, hoping to get away with it and to
avoid further inquiries.
Hide in plain sight.
You could see on his face that he was processing that last retort
of mine. After some seconds, which seemed to stretch out
excruciatingly, he settled for me having pulled his leg. That sly
grin grew on his face.
"Well. If you dress up for me, I will return the favor. Let's
see, what I can come up with."
Whether he intended to or not, the clothes he chose really did
the job for me. He was wearing a pair of grey jeans, which firmly
snuggled to him. A white shirt with short sleeves covered his
upper torso and was tucked into his trousers. He hadn't buttoned
it up completely, so you could see quite a lot of his bare chest.
In his hand, he was holding a blue sports coat.
"Satisfied?" he moved up and down his hand as if advertising
himself, the well-known sly grin plastered to his face.
"It will not be too embarrassing to be seen with you."
My heart was beating in my throat, he was looking amazing.
"Close enough."

We arrived early at the college's movie theater, which was used
mainly for educational purposes, but was free to use in the
evenings by the various student's clubs. We got our name badges
reading `Kev Schneider is Rocky' and `Leon Fitzgerald is
Frank-N-Furter', our names added by one of the students with a
marker pen. Additionally, we got handed a small stack of paper
cards, having `Rice', `Water', `Toast' etc. written on them.
"What's that for?" Kev asked.
"Some...um... rituals have formed around watching this movie.
There are scenes where the audience throws rice or slices of
toast or shoots a water pistol. The fan club had some trouble
with campus administration regarding the cleaning afterwards. So
they came up with those." I raised the small package of cards.
"Oh. I have heard of it. But when I am supposed to throw what?
I've never done that before." Kev was frowning in puzzlement.
"The fan club has integrated little cues into the movie,
subtitles telling you to prepare a certain card and the exact
moment when to throw it. There are some interjections by the
audience as well, but these are subtitled, too. Like Karaoke.
It's the `Dummy's Guide to the Rocky Horror Picture Show'." I
smirked.
"Awesome. I like that one."
Kev held up a card that simply read `Card' and chuckled. That
sound still hadn't lost its effect on me.
The movie itself was great. It was heartwarming to watch Kev. He
was enthusiastic like a child... a very big child, indeed. We
even joined the crowd dancing the Time Warp. Kev was a good
dancer; more flexible than one would expect a man of his stature
to be. It was the third fun evening in a row and all of them had
one thing in common: Kev.
On our way back, like the day before with the action movie, we
replayed scenes. We had fun singing the songs. We didn't sing
them well, but full of verve. Much too soon, we were back in our
room, where singing wasn't an option any longer, not without
pissing off our fellow students. We changed for bed and talked.
"We have to go next time as well. That was even more fun than
just watching. Let's do the Time Warp agai-in." He sung the last
part in his deep baritone voice.
I cackled.
"As I have already told you: they don't need much encouragement
to show it over and over again. We will have plenty of
opportunities to see it."
"I liked especially watching it with you."
That was borderline awkward, but I decided to go with it.
"Same here, Kev. Was nice to see someone as captivated by the
movie as me. And nice hip action on your side."
That earned me another of his smiles. My heart was close to a
meltdown.
"Oh, I haven't told you yet. I'll have a job interview tomorrow
at the fitness spa in the city, close to the cinema. They are
looking for an instructor. I phoned the owner today and he was
quite impressed with my qualifications. So keep your fingers
crossed for me."
"Sounds great. Good luck then, Kev."
"Thanks. The work hours would go very well with my timetable. I
hope for the best. Would be nice to have some extra bucks. Just
in case my pimp... beg my pardon... my patron gets tired of me."
"You won't get rid of me that easily, Kev. We are stuck to each
other." I pointed a finger at him while saying it. The effect
would have been better, if I had kept a straight face.
Kev laughed, but his eyes showed that this little act had moved
him. Somehow, he had felt the affection that was hidden in my
words, had seen behind the façade of banter. These were the same
mechanics at work by which I perfectly knew, what he had felt. It
was one of those rare moments, where emotions were communicated
directly, transcending cumbersome words.
"No-one wants to get rid of you." Kev said almost too soft to
hear.
The moment had passed and in its wake had left behind a feeling
of loss and emptiness, which was almost tangible in the room. We
didn't say another word and just switched off the lights.

Like the two days before Kev woke me up for our running session
the next morning. He was wearing the new track suit, I had
ordered, and was smiling at me. The bizarre ending of the last
evening now seemed distant and blurred; it had faded away like a
dream. I smiled back, got up and dressed in the new outfit, too.
Kev had some more running tips for me and this time I performed
even better. Not much, but notably. I could tell by his look that
Kev was very proud of me. It made me happy beyond reason.
During breakfast, we discussed his upcoming job interview, what
he should say and what he shouldn't say. We decided together that
it was better to wear a shirt and a tie, though he was applying
for a job as a fitness instructor. A good first impression could
tip the scales in his favor. Kev also talked to me about meeting
Coach Derringer and that he liked the way he had planned out his
training. His team mates had been very open and friendly, too.
And it was the first time that I told him about Rob.
"You will meet Rob this evening." I grinned.
"Rob who? Did you already mention him?"
Kev was even cuter, when he was puzzled, just like Winnie the
Pooh figuring something out.
"If you think, Rob is a `he'... then I didn't."
"That wasn't helpful."
"Rob is short for Roberta, Roberta Wilkins. But never...
listen... never call her Roberta. Don't even tell her that I told
you her real name."
"Um, sounds like a nice person."
"Oh, she really is. She is a very good friend of mine. But be
warned: her ways of social interaction take getting used to."
"What about those intimidation issues I mentioned to you?" He
gestured at himself.
"Rob? Intimidated? She is capable of calling you plow horse to
your face the moment she meets you... thinking about it... she
probably will."
"Now I have something to look forward to." He smiled an uneasy
smile.
"Hey, you are a big and strong boy. You can take it. And if you
get to know her, you'll love her, too. If I had to pick a single
person to cover my back, she would be my first choice."
"Not me? That makes me sad." He pouted, but only for a second. A
grin could not be kept away from this face for long.
"I would choose you for covering my front. More surface for
cover." Now it was me gesturing at him.
"Hey, you." He got up quickly, grabbed me in a headlock with one
hand and tousled my hair with the other.
"It took hours to get that special hair style." I giggled. Kev
laughed along.
It hadn't evaded me that some of the people in the cafeteria had
stirred when Kev had grabbed me. They had relaxed as soon as I
had started to laugh, but it was my first glimpse of what Kev
called `intimidation issues'. It was absolutely clear that I was
in no danger, but in their eyes, Kev was one of `those types',
someone who was well capable of a public outbreak of violence,
just because of the way he was built. It made me sad and angry
and it showed on my face. Kev, who had sat down again opposite of
me, frowned.
"What's up?"
"Haven't you seen?" I moved my hand to indicate the room.
"I did." He answered in a low voice.
"It makes me sick. They don't know you." I didn't bother to lower
my voice.
He grabbed my hands and said in a voice even softer than before
"Thanks."
My anger melted away looking into his grateful eyes, but I
couldn't oppress a glare at two guys sitting at a nearby table.
They had made the mistake of looking up at my outbreak.
"For goodness sake, I hope I will never be at the receiving end
of this glare. Did you know that your eyes turn to a much darker
shade of green, when you are angry?"
I looked back at Kev and couldn't help but laugh. Kev joined in.
"I have a good feeling that you won't."
I realized then that we were still holding hands.

The rest of the day dragged along. The activity on campus had
increased. Students returned to the college for the upcoming
term. Kev had left early for training. His job interview would be
in the late afternoon, five o'clock, and he wanted to be done
with training before that.
He returned to our room to get dressed for the interview by four
o'clock. Kev had decided on a pair of blue jeans, not as tight as
the grey ones had been, a white shirt with long sleeves and a tie
with grey and blue stripes. He tried three times to get the knot
of the tie right... unsuccessfully.
"Come here, big boy." I said in jest.
He looked at me with helpless eyes, tie dangling down in one
hand.
"Now, it finally pays that my Mom is working in the upper class
fashion sector. I could tie those, before I could tie my shoes.
Sit down."
I was sitting on my bed and Kev sat down in front of me before
the bed, facing away from me. I quickly went through the very
familiar movements. It helped that by the way he sat it was like
creating the knot for myself.
"A full Windsor. Given the size of your neck, that's a good
choice." I did some final adjustments to the knot. "Go. See for
yourself."
He got up and looked in the mirror, which was on the inside of
one of the wardrobe's doors. He looked around the door, beaming
at me.
"I've never looked that good in a tie."
"Fashion and math: my fields of expertise."
Kev chuckled and that alone had been worth the effort.
"Thanks. I owe you one. Wish me luck."
"Break a leg!" I winked at him.
With another smile and a wave he was gone.

An hour after Kev had left, the door burst open and an all too
familiar female voice was booming through the room.
"I am back, little one."
Rob kept calling me `little one' just to annoy me. And to be
frank: she towered me by a full head's length, so it wasn't
exactly inaccurate.
"My soul, if that isn't Roberta Wilkins."
Using her full name never failed. Her face distorted into an
angry mask.
"What did I say about calling me that and wanting to have all
your fingers intact?"
"You wouldn't knock someone around, who was smaller than you." I
said in my sweetest voice.
Her face relaxed, she smiled.
"You know me too well. Come here, little one."
And we hugged. Her hugs could be as crushing as Kev's, despite
the considerable difference in stature. Rob wasn't exactly a
beauty queen, but she wasn't ugly either. She had dark blond hair
that touched down on her shoulders. She had brown eyes and her
complexion tended to be almost a shade of olive. Her heritage was
so mixed that no one bothered to give exact fractions (1/8th
Spanish, 1/16th Italian etc. you get the gist). Wilkins family
reunions resembled international conferences. Been there, done
that. Her body was athletic, but still lithe. In high school, she
had been a cheerleader and quite a good one according to some
articles you could find on Google. But like her full name, her
cheerleading career was a soft spot and she would violently deny
she ever did it.
"Missed me, little one? Pined away in agony and boredom?"
"Of course, I missed you. Except the pining part."
"Ouch. That hurt, bastard." But she smiled saying that.
That was our normal way of communication. A delicate balance of
pleasantries and insults, filled up with trivia. We both excelled
at this game and that was part of why we came along so fine.
Her gaze fell on the clothing that Kev had discarded on his bed.
"How's the replacement Josh?"
"He is not a replacement Josh... and he is nice."
"Nice? Oh, my fucking God. You fell for him head over heels,
didn't you, little one?"
"Don't use the Lord's name in vain." I tried to distract.
"Don't play the smart aleck on me. You did fall for him?"
"It's that obvious?"
"You can't hide much from your `alternative' part-time fag hag."
She did the quotation marks with her fingers. "But no one else
would notice, I swear."
"I would prefer, if you do not call yourself my `alternative'
part-time fag hag, when he is around." I mimicked her quotation
marks.
"Ah, in love and not even out to him. You haven't been diagnosed
with pathological masochism, have you?"
"As always, you are the helpful guide to the shallows of my
gayness."
"You are welcome, little bitch. What does he look like?"
"He is big."
"Big as in having a zip code of his own?" She raised an eyebrow
in disbelief.
"No. Big as in making He-Man look like a wimp."
"Yeah, that's more your type. And I have to refine my diagnosis:
add severe self-destructive tendencies to the pathological
masochism."
"He is nothing like that... violent... or such."
"If you say so."
That was when someone knocked at the door. Kev opened the door
carefully, looked around it and entered.
"I heard voices and didn't want to intrude."
These small things made Kev even more likable. But Rob was
somehow immune to any form of chivalry.
"We still have our clothes on."
Uncertainty spread on Kev's face.
"As if anyone would like to be around you naked."
I had added a liberal amount of venom to this sentence. At least,
it had struck hard enough to silence Rob for the moment.
"Rob Wilkins, bad mouthed friend girl, meet Kevin Schneider, my
new roommate."
Kev relaxed visibly at the usage of the term `friend girl'. He
extended his hand, put on his grin and said
"Nice to meet you, Rob Wilkins."
"Nice to meet you, Kevin Schneider."
They shook hands. Only I would know that she was mocking him by
using his full name as he had done and gave her a warning sideway
glance.
"What do you normally do with these hands? Compacting trash
cars?"
Her face showing nothing but pure sincerity.
"No. Usually, I do uproot trees with my bare hands. But today is
my day off."
Kev was smiling.
I looked up at him and couldn't suppress a grin. He had gone for
the offense, the only way to deal with Rob. That should have
earned him some points in her book.
"Oh. They sent the funniest one of the barn."
A friendly sentence by Rob's standards.
"I even won a prize at the state fair." And Kev whinnied.
I started to laugh, Kev and Rob joined in.
"Touché!"
"Hey, I have to unpack and the trip was quite exhausting. See you
tomorrow, you two."
She was almost out of the door, when she turned to Kev.
"The little one is mostly a pain in my ass, but the Lord may have
mercy on you, if something happens to him."
She slammed the door shut.
"What was that about?" Kev gestured at the door.
"Mother complex." I shrugged.
We both snickered.
"Kev, it may not have looked like it, but that went exceptionally
well. You have been cordially welcomed by Rob."
"Lucky me." He made a funny face.
Kev started to remove the tie.
"Don't tantalize me, Kev. What about the job?"
His face turned sour and I started to regret my question.
But then the familiar grin grew back on it.
"You are talking to Kev Schneider, assistant fitness coach at
Dave's Holistic Fitness Spa."
"Holistic? Like in ...?" I asked, imagining nude people jumping
around, burning incense sticks and imitating animal sounds.
Kev chuckled.
"They offer Yoga and Qui Gong courses as well, nothing too
weird."
"Okay. Though it will take some days to get rid of the imagery
that had just popped up in my mind."
Kev's chuckle turned to full out laughter.
"Congratulations, Coach Schneider."
"Assistant Coach Schneider." He corrected, still laughing.
We had a small dinner in our room, consisting of cup noodles,
after we had both changed into something more comfortable. We
compared time tables and to our delight we could have lunch
together every day except on Fridays, when Kev would have a
regular two-hour team meeting from 12 to 2.
"Just to warn you: I will be on my new nutrition plan starting
tomorrow. Mostly proteins and not too many carbohydrates or fat.
You may find my meals a little strange."
"I had to live with my sister, who must have tried every
nutrition plan that has ever been invented. She never had weight
problems, but was a little paranoid regarding her body. So, I've
seen almost everything meal-wise, I can assure you."
We both smiled at each other.
"You are close to your family, aren't you?"
"Yes. I am. Mom and Dad have always been more like friends than
parents. They let me find out things for myself. Tiffany and I,
we had our quarrels, but nothing serious. Normal sibling stuff.
I've told you about her husband Marc and their toddler,
Christopher."
"That sounds nice." A subtle sadness had found its way to his
eyes.
"Hey. You will happen to meet them all... and then you'll regret
that you did."
The sadness persisted. We talked a little bit more, listened to
some music, but having in mind the pending start of the term, we
called it a night early.

The next weeks passed by in no time. Courses had started, lots of
work was the result. Kev had taken up his job at the spa. The
situation between Kev and Rob had finally calmed down and there
was even a budding friendship between the two. Befriending Rob
wasn't easy, but rewarding. At last, she was convinced that Kev
meant no harm for me. We spent the evenings together, sometimes
all three of us, more often just Kev and me. Our friendship
deepened every day and it seemed that we were still far away from
hitting rock bottom. Likewise, my other feelings for Kev grew
stronger. Every time I thought that I possibly couldn't like him
more, he did something, a small friendly act or it was a thing he
said, that made him even dearer. Our daily lunches were something
to look forward to, when a course dragged on. The running
training, which Kev and I carried out meticulously, was most
important for me. My progress there made me feel good. The
training gave me something I was good at beside mathematics.
During all the time we spent together, not once did we speak
about relationships or love interests. For me the reasons were
obvious, but I couldn't come up with an explanation, why Kev was
avoiding that subject. Given his looks, there had to be someone
interested. Ignorance was bliss. Repeatedly, I had been close to
coming out to Kev. But telling him about me being gay was
inseparably intertwined with me admitting my feelings for him. So
I kept silent.
It was now the first week of October, a Wednesday. Kev had just
returned from the spa. And he looked like hell, deep dark rings
around his eyes, he was pale and beads of sweat glistened on his
forehead. He went straight for his bed; he didn't even bother to
change his clothes.
"I think my head will burst any time now." He moaned.
Again and again, he had fits of coughing. The sound of his
coughing terrified me to the bones: it was a dark and hollow
bellowing sound. By ten o'clock in the evening, his breathing was
accompanied by a rattling noise. I panicked. I fetched my cell
phone and with shaking fingers, dialed the number of the doctor,
who had an office in the city.
"Do you have any idea, what time it is?"
He wasn't too delighted about my call.
"It's my friend, he's coughing and there is this rattling sound,
when he breezes."
"You are aware that a house call this late is rather expensive?"
"Money's no problem." I said coolly.
It was beyond me, how the doctor could barter with me for
dollars, when there was something terribly wrong with Kev.
"Okay, okay. Can you give me the address, please?"
I described in detail, where the doctor would find us on campus.
It would take him 45 minutes to get here. I grabbed my wallet,
took out the credit card and left our room, heading for the ATM
on the ground floor.
Expensive? How much is expensive?
I chastised myself for not having inquired about the exact rate.
I settled for $1000, which should be more than enough to cover
even the most exorbitant invoice and the most exotic treatments.
In hindsight, it was ridiculous to get so much money, but in the
state of mind I was in, sober thinking was not an option. I
returned to our room.
"Kev, can you hear me? The doctor is on his way."
He didn't answer me; he barely awoke from his fitful rest,
nodding an acknowledgement, just to fall back in this half-state
between sleep and consciousness. I waited; waited for an
eternity, so it seemed.
Finally, the doctor arrived. His unfriendly demeanor on the phone
had made place for a more professional kindness. He examined Kev,
while I stood right beside the bed, watching terrified.
"I have to apologize for my reaction on the phone. It is good
that you called me. Your friend is suffering from a severe
bronchitis. The earlier we start the treatment, the better. I can
inject him an antibiotic, which is fairly new on the market. It
will help to get a fast response from the immune system and
support it in the fight against the illness. The therapy is then
continued with standard antibiotics."
"Okay."
"Problem is: even if I charge you the wholesale price for the
shot, it will be $250. That's just the injection, being students
that might be too..."
"Do it, Sir. As I told you on the phone, money is no problem." I
interrupted the doctor, looking at him pleadingly.
"Sure." He gave me an encouraging smile.
He prepared a syringe with a liquid that had a blue tinge in the
dim lighting of Kev's bed-side lamp. He disinfected Kev's right
crook of the arm and injected the content of the syringe into one
of Kev's veins.
"Don't worry. Your friend will be alright. Apart from the
bronchitis, he is strong and healthy. Here, I prepared the
prescription for you. There is a pharmacy on campus. They should
be able to order that special drug. If you go there early in the
morning, they should have it by noon."
"Thanks, Sir."
"You are welcome. The shot I gave your friend contains a strong
sedative; he will probably sleep straight for the next 16 hours.
Idea is that the self regeneration of the body works better that
way. As soon as he awakes, start giving him the other
antibiotics. One pill, three times a day. There should be at
least six hours between two pills. Make sure that he uses up the
entire package, even if he doesn't show symptoms anymore. And
give him lots of mineral water, at least two liters. Any
questions?"
"Is there anything else I can do for him?"
"Love and chicken soup. That's what my grandma always gave me,
works wonders... no kidding." He smiled at me and I managed a
small smile myself.
He wrote the invoice and I paid him cash. Considering the price
of the shot, the overall amount seemed ridiculously small. The
doctor seemed to have refrained from charging any extra for the
house call.
"Thank you again, Sir."
"He should thank you for looking out for him."
We shook hands and said goodbye.
Though I knew that I couldn't do anything, I stayed awake and
watched beside Kev's bed.

In the morning, I went to the pharmacy and to Prof. Smyth. I told
him that I would not be able to attend his course today
explaining to him the situation.
"Leon, you are such a good student. You can easily catch up, what
you'll miss today. Take care of that friend of yours. Mathematics
can wait, friends sometimes can't."
He clapped my shoulder. I called Kev's employer, Dave, and told
him that Kev was seriously ill and wouldn't make it to his job
for the rest of the week. Dave was sympathetic and ensured me
that that wasn't a problem at all. Finally, I informed Kev's
coach and his professors of his illness.
Around twelve o'clock, I fetched the antibiotics and bought a
thermos jug at the campus store. With the jug I paid a visit to
Deng Long's and he filled it with his famous chicken soup.
Love and chicken soup. I can give him both.
Back in our room, I resumed my position at Kev's bed. He was
still fast asleep, as the doctor had predicted. The time between
his coughing fits had already lengthened notably. The coughing
itself wasn't as severe as the night before. He had regained some
color and he didn't sweat any more. I laid my head on his bed and
fell asleep at once.
"Leon?" Kev's voice was frail, his hand touched my head.
"Shhh. You are still weak." A glance at the watch told me that it
was a quarter past three.
"I am thirsty... and hungry."
I poured him a glass of mineral water and helped him drinking it.
Another one followed. I fetched the thermos jug and put some of
the soup into a cup. It was a considerable effort to rise Kev
into an almost upright position, his back resting at the bed's
head. He weighed at least twice as much as I did. I held the cup
in one hand and a spoon in the other. I fed him spoon by spoon,
encouraging him like a little child to take just one more. He
managed to eat the entire cup. I smiled at him and he returned my
smile weakly. I poured him another glass of water and gave him
the first dose of antibiotics. I helped him to lie down again.
"Don't leave me alone." He sounded desperate.
"I'll stay right here." I took his hand.
He closed his eyes, smiled and fell asleep at once.
Two hours later, Kev awoke again. He was shivering now.
"I am feeling terribly cold." he muttered.
I fetched my blanket and wrapped it around him. But it didn't
seem to help much. His trembling didn't subside.
There was only one thing left in this room that could warm him...
me. I lowered myself down on him, tried to cover as much of him
with my tiny body as was possible. He wrapped his arms around me
bringing me close to him. After some minutes, the shivering
stopped. We both fell asleep as we lay.
"Leon?" His voice was stronger than it had been some hours ago.
"Um?"
"I don't know how to say... I need... I have... to go to the
restroom."
It was eight o'clock now. I hadn't considered that, obvious as it
was. He hadn't been to a restroom for 24 hours. Moreover, I had
made him drink three glasses of water and fed him one cup of
soup.
"Can you make it there, if I support you? Carrying you is not an
option, I fear."
"It'll work." He gave me an encouraging grin.
I helped him to sit up in bed and he moved his legs out of it.
Considering our vast difference in height, I couldn't lay my arm
around him and support him this way. We settled for me to walk
upright and Kev rested with his forearm on my shoulder. Kev tried
to carry as much of his own weight as he could, but half of it
still pressed down on me. Half of him was still a full me. The
restrooms were on the floor, directly right to our room, but it
took us five minutes to get there and to place Kev in one of the
stalls. Same procedure for the way back. I realized that Kev was
still wearing yesterday's clothes. When we were back in our room,
I asked him
"Can you stand another 5 minutes?"
"Sure."
"Do you mind, if I change your clothes and wash you?"
"Of course not."
I undressed him as quickly as I could, rubbed him with a damp
wash cloth, strictly avoiding his pubic region, and redressed him
in pajamas. It felt especially awkward putting on his underwear.
In less than the five minutes I had requested of him, he was back
in bed. Time for another glass of water and another cup of soup,
I decided. He did comply. The coughing had almost stopped by now.
I wrapped him into the two blankets and he went back to sleep. My
grumbling stomach reminded me that I hadn't eaten anything this
day. I went for cup noodles, checking for emails on my cell phone
while eating. Only one message sent by Prof. Smyth was of
interest: he described the content of today's course, gave me
some pages in a book as a reference and told me that he had
excused me from Prof. Hallman's course, which would be tomorrow.
I thanked him in a short reply. So, I had the whole of tomorrow
for caring for Kev. Since all my papers for this week had been
ready the day before yesterday, I could fully concentrate on him.
I sent the paper for Prof. Hallman by email, thanking him for the
sympathy regarding the situation. Kev was still sleeping. At ten
o'clock, we had to manage another visit to the rest room. Kev had
regained some more of his strength, so it went more smoothly than
before. It was time for more soup, water and the next pill. I
spent another night half-cradled on the side of his bed.

"Leon?"
It was the next morning and Kev's voice showed only the slightest
hint of weakness, a small slur.
"How are you doing?"
"Still a little dizzy, but way better than yesterday. Don't you
have to attend a course at 10:00?"
"Took a day off." I joked.
"The spa...training...courses..." he bolted up, but I stopped
him.
"I phoned Dave, your coach and your professors. You are excused
for the rest of the week. Relax."
"You thought about everything." he smirked. A good sign.
"Tried to." I managed a grin myself.
I fetched us breakfast from the cafeteria, bringing along some
sandwiches for lunch, completely ignoring Kev's nutrition plan
for once.
He didn't sleep, but he was drowsing most of the time. I made use
of this time by reading the material Prof. Smyth had pointed out.
Complex analysis was a really interesting subject, so it was
almost fun working. I even read some chapters in advance. Kev
managed to go to the restrooms alone now, which was quite a
relief.
So the day just went by.
In the evening, we ordered pizza. Kev's appetite had returned,
definitely an excellent sign. I made sure that he didn't forget
the antibiotics and the water.

In the evening, as so often, we listened to some music together,
lying in our beds.
"Leon, I don't even know how to start to express my gratitude."
Kev began.
"Was nothing." I waved it off with my hand.
"Nothing? Leon, you got the doctor...oh... I owe you money, don't
I?" That hadn't occurred to him until then.
"You owe me nothing, Kev, do you understand? Nothing. One thing
there is: you owe me to get well again."
"But..."
"End of discussion." My gaze made clear that I meant it.
"Okay, for the moment. But besides money: you watched over me,
fed me, warmed me, carried me to the restroom, washed me, dressed
me...That is quite a lot of nothing!"
"It's what a best friend is supposed to do, isn't it?"
"I am your best friend?"
"The best I ever had." I added softly.
It was the truth. Even Josh or Rob couldn't rival with Kev, not
anymore. They were good friends, very good friends, but in
comparison to Kev the relationship with both of them seemed
shallow. The added dimension of my other feelings for Kev made
our friendship more profound. It was that very moment, when I had
realized that. Kev had called me his best friend on our first
weekend, now I was able to return the sentiment.
Kev's answer was a smile that went straight up to his eyes and
didn't even seem to stop there.

Of course, we did not resume our running training on Saturday,
Kev was still not at his best. But I realized, how attached I had
become to running, how much I missed it. Though Kev hadn't fully
recovered yet, he was close enough. His cheerful manner had
returned, together with his irremovable grin. I was reading again
in one of the books that Prof. Smyth had suggested to me. It was
pretty advanced stuff, but I could handle it. One problem, which
regularly returned during terms, was the stiffness in my neck.
When I had to read and write most of the day, the muscles in my
neck just cramped. I absentmindedly rubbed my neck.
"Do you have problems with your neck?" He approached my desk.
"It's okay. Just a little overstrain."
"Lemme see."
"It's okay."
"Hey. I am the physical therapist in training here. I'll decide,
whether it's okay."
That left no space for arguing. His hands touched me; softly in
the beginning, applying gradually more strength over time.
"You are all tense. I can feel the knots. Lie down on your bed.
I'll give you a massage."
"You don't need to."
"Yeah, and you didn't need to call the doctor, watch over me,
feed me, warm me, carry me around."
Again my possibilities for arguing were severely limited.
Reluctantly, I lay down on my bed.
"Um, Leon. You normally take your clothes off for a massage. At
least get rid of the sweater."
I had seen that coming.
So, I was lying there with my bare torso on my stomach. Kev
straddled me at the height of my butt, but due to the vast
difference in size, Kev's legs or groin didn't even touch me. I
neatly fitted beneath him. His hands touched my neck again. Like
before he started softly, but increased the intensity of his
touches. His hands moved slowly down, his kneading movements
covering more and more of my back. His touches sent bolts of
electricity into my skin. I realized with relief that he stopped
the treatment at the small of my back. His tender (and not so
tender) treatment had had its effect on my groin: I was sporting
a rock hard erection that pressed painfully against my underwear,
pants and, ultimately, my bed. If his hands had ended anywhere
near my ass, I would have come at once, no need for touching
anything in the front. It took all my strength not to moan out.
"Done. Better now?" Kev got off my back.
My neck felt much better now, which could not be said of the
lower parts of my body. I realized with a start that I could not
get up from the bed without him noticing my `predicament'.
Think of Mom in swim wear, flowers, little kittens, `Every
function, which is holomorphic on the entire complex plane and is
bounded, is constant.'
That was the most creative application of Liouville's theorem
that I was aware of. But it did the trick. Sadly, I would never
be able to share this special application with the mathematical
community.
"Much better, thank you." I turned around very slowly to give me
a little more recovering time. But Kev was standing at my desk,
his back to me, very interested in one of my math books.
"We'll repeat this for the days coming."
I had been afraid to hear exactly this.
"Just looking at your books... could you explain to me what
convergence of a sequence and a series is? I didn't exactly get
that in the Calculus course."
"Sure."

After some more days, Kev had fully recovered. He had insisted on
the massages, re-creating the same reaction of my cock every
single time. At least, now I was sure that I knew most
mathematical theorems by heart.

Time passed by and soon November was about to start.

"He made you do what?" Rob asked in a shrill voice.
"He didn't make me do anything. He asked me, whether I would help
him oiling up for the fake competition they would do for
training."
"Which you did?"
"Sure. See, for some people friendship does mean more than
exchanging insults."
"Perhaps, he figured out you are gay and is now trying to kill
you by sexual tension or wants you to make a move to get away
with `self defense', that psycho." Once again quotation fingers.
"Now add aliens and the government and you have one heck of a
conspiracy theory and I only know one psycho... hint one... in
this room... hint two... it's not me."
After a short pause I added
"How could he have figured out?"
"Perhaps you going all Florence Nightingale on him tipped him
off?"
She had made a valid point.
"Or he likes... me."
"Don't go there, little one. Don't go there." She grabbed me in a
tight embrace "That will just hurt you."
It was one of the few instances, I saw the more compassionate
side of her. She really was worrying for me this time.
"Thanksgiving. He has nowhere to spend it, so he'll stay here.
I'll spend it with him."
I hadn't told her yet. I hadn't dared to.
"You will what?" She pushed me away. "And your family?"
"Mom and Dad are on this cruise to celebrate their 30th
anniversary. They apologized a hundred times for it taking place
on Thanksgiving."
"Tiff and Marc?"
"Of course, they have invited me. They are planning to visit
Marc's family. Nice people, but I barely know them. By the way,
am I in some way related to the parents-in-law of my sister?"
"In my family, yes. It would be as having married Marc yourself.
In your All-American-dream family, no. Back to topic."
"Mom and Dad sent me money. `Spend it as you please... if you
want to go visit your sister... or anything else.' I've decided
for `anything else'."
"Don't come back crying to me, if he kills you."
"Rob, I promise you: I will not come back to you, if I am dead."
I emphasized the last word, pointing out her blunder. The whole
sentence had dripped with sarcasm.
"Dorm Haunting, part one: Return of the Fag. That would suit you.
Leon the unfriendly ghost."
I couldn't help, but laugh. Rob glowered.
"Just don't get hurt, in any way. Got it, bitch?" She added
softly.

I waited even longer to tell Kev. It was the Monday before
Thanksgiving. When he returned from the spa, I stood by my desk,
beaming as if I had lost it.
"What's up? Found the missing step in the proof you were working
on?"
"I did, but that's not the point."
 I was teasing him.
"So, what IS the point?"
 Kev was puzzled.
"Guess, where I'll be on Thursday?"
"With your family? It's Thanksgiving."
"Nope. I will spend it with this best friend of mine. I don't
know, if you know him: tall.... muscular..."
"But..."
I explained to him the situation with my parents being on the
cruise and that I didn't want to celebrate Thanksgiving with
Marc's family.
"Whoa. After all, it seems like this will be not just another
lonely holiday." Kev grinned, resting both of his hand on the
back of his neck.
"Best is still to come."
 I teased him again.
Another one of those Winnie-the-Pooh-style puzzled looks his
reaction.
"What's Thanksgiving without eating till you are full up? I
reserved a table at Rosenham's for the two of us."
"Rosenham's? That's an expensive place."
I told him about the money which my parents had given me to ease
their conscience.
"It's bribe money. The bad karma has to be set off by using it
for something extraordinary fun and sharing it with someone
else."
"And classy." Kev didn't give up.
"Yep. Formal wear required."
"Um, Leon, you know the tie I have, the one with the stripes?
That's about all the formal wear I own."
"Mmmm. That's a problem... oops... look what I've found under my
desk."
I produced a cardboard box with "Fitzgerald's" written on it in a
loopy, golden writing.
"You didn't buy me..." Kev started.
"No. I never commit the same mistake twice." I smirked.
"And..." he pointed at the box.
"It's a rental suit from my Mom's shop."
"Thought your mom is on a cruise."
"Beth, her assistant, is running the shop at the moment. You are
a wary one, aren't you?"
Kev grinned apologetically.
"I asked her to send those as well." I was holding a pair of
black leather shoes in my right hand.
"I know your size and I described you to Beth. Better you try on
the suit and the shoes. We can still get replacements till
Thursday." I handed him the shoes and the box.
Kev handled the box as if he was carrying a selection of the most
precious china in the world. He put it down on his bed and opened
it.
"Um, Leon, the label says `Armani'. It's fake, isn't it?"
"You are lucky that my mom didn't hear that. It's genuine, fall
collection, prêt-a-porter." The last part I said with a thick
French accent that was definitely fake.
He took out the trousers and the jacket. The color was a light
gray with a very decent pinstripe pattern some shades darker.
Beth had added a simple, but elegant, white shirt and two ties,
from which he could choose. He tried them on and it seemed as if
this suit had been tailored just for Kev. Even the shoes were a
perfect fit. He undressed again and carefully folded the clothing
back into the box. He caressed the outside of the box with both
hands.
"Never in my life have I worn such nice clothing." Kev was close
to tears.
"And there will never be a nicer guy in them."
Kev looked at me.
"What if something happens to them, if I ruin them?" He was about
to panic.
"You know, I'm very close to the shop keeper..." I crossed the
middle and ring finger of my right hand, imitating the gesture
you often saw in hip hop video clips "... she's a cool bitch."
It had the desired effect: Kev relaxed and chuckled.
"Does your mom know what you call her behind her back?"
"I hope not."
We burst out laughing.

Officially, only Wednesday to Friday were without courses. But
unofficially, the whole week was very relaxed. The courses took
place, but the professors told tales, showed movies or started
discussions very unrelated to the courses' topics. As a strange
coincidence, the entire faculty forgot to bring along the
attendance lists. They told us that they would have to fill them
out by memory, which meant that they would tick off every single
name on it. It felt like a blink of an eye and Thursday was
there.
Kev was very excited in this charming, childlike way of his. He
talked about the restaurant the whole day, the suit, what to
drink, what to eat. Finally, evening came.
I had already dressed in my suit, a black one made of very fine
cord, and wore a white shirt with a grey tie. I had just laced my
shoes, when Kev stood before me, the light blue tie from the box
in his hand, a questioning grin on his face.
"Sit down." I snickered.
When I was finished binding his tie, he put on his shoes and the
jacket. He looked at me.
"What do you think?" He turned around.
He was looking like one of the models from a fashion catalogue.
It was like one of those men had stepped out of his paper prison.
"Very nice." I understated. "Me?"
"Very nice as well." He grinned, of course.
"Pretty overdressed for the bus."
"Who said we would go by bus?" I asked mysteriously.
"By taxi?"
I made a noise like in one of those game shows, indicating a
wrong answer.
"Try again."
Kev shrugged.
"Then you'll have to wait and see for yourself."
"Oh, I almost forgot." Kev moved to his wardrobe and got out
something that was long and thin, wrapped up in white paper. He
opened it, revealing two white carnations.
"For the final touch."
He attached one of them to a button hole of my suit, doing the
same with the other one on his suit.
"Perfect." I remarked.
"Yes, indeed." We stood side by side at the mirror in Kev's
wardrobe. And I could have sworn that he had looked at me in the
mirror, when he said it.

At the dorm's entrance, the secret of our transportation was
finally revealed: a black limousine was parking right in front of
it. A portly driver in a uniform held open the door and greeted
us
"Gentlemen."
We climbed into the car and soon we were heading for Rosenham's.
Kev couldn't decide, whether looking accusingly at me or grinning
up to his ears, his face constantly changing between these two
extremes.
"That must have been very expensive."
"My parents had a very bad conscience." I smiled slyly. "It was
their first time to buy the love of their son, so they went for
safety."
That cracked Kev up.
"Gentleman. No one has ever called me gentleman and meant it." He
added laughing.
I joined in.
Rosenham's was really an exclusive place. We were greeted by the
maître d' and he politely asked us to wait at the bar until our
table would be prepared. Places like this did not ask for id and
both of us were close enough to be legal. The bar consisted of a
counter made of a very dark wood. On the backside, a selection of
exquisite beverages had been arranged. Since neither Kev nor I
were experts regarding alcohol, we followed the suggestion of the
bar tender: the house's special cocktail. It was sweet and
creamy, not too strong.
It didn't take long, until we were led to our table, well
secluded at the very back of the restaurant. It had been arranged
with white table clothes and a simple, but elegant flower
arrangement. A thin long candle was burning in the middle of the
table. Kev looked uneasy at the arrangement of forks, spoons,
knives and glasses.
"Just follow my example." I winked at him.
"You've been to such places before?"
I simply nodded. Having a lawyer and a shop owner as parents
meant business lunch with family attendance more often than not.
The maître d' approached our table.
"Mr. Fitzgerald, you have ordered a special five-course menu for
tonight. An excellent choice, if I am allowed to comment. I would
recommend our house champagne to accompany the entrée?"
"I would be honored to follow your suggestions." I said politely.
He nodded and smiled friendly at both of us.
When he had left, Kev said in a low voice, grinning as usual
"I don't even know what an entrée is."
He was soon to find out. All five courses were delicious. The
main course consisted of turkey, roasted in a very special way
using honey and mustard. Even an upper class restaurant like this
couldn't ignore that it was Thanksgiving.
The meal was over much too soon. We were well fed and overall
content. Both of us have had a wonderful time, chatting away and
enjoying our company.
I had settled the bill, not forgetting to include a generous tip,
and the driver took us back to our dorm.
Kev was looking absentmindedly out of the tinted windows of the
limo, silent for most of the trip.
"A penny for your thoughts."
Kev laughed a short laugh.
"That's my line."
"What's up?"
"You know when people say that something is `to die for'? I could
drop dead now and wouldn't mind. That must have been the nicest
evening in my life. Pretty morbid, isn't it?"
"I know, what you mean."
We sat the rest of the ride in silence.

Back in our dorm, the gloomy mood of the trip was forgotten. We
still were completely dressed in our evening wear. Only the light
of my bedside lamp illuminated the room. Kev was standing right
beside his bed, while I was putting my wallet back into the
drawer.
"Leon. I want to thank you for this really awesome evening.
Thanks for staying here with me for Thanksgiving. You are really
a dear friend." Kev sounded like he was reciting a prepared
speech.
"You are welcome!"
I smiled at him.
"Oh, come here."
That was more like Kev.  He seemed to have abandoned the script
and had decided to ad-lib. He crossed the room and I was bracing
for another of his bear hugs. For a change, he dropped to his
knees, before pulling me into his crushing embrace. For once, my
face wasn't buried somewhere below his chest, but my chin was
resting on his shoulder. My arms were hanging slack to my sides.
Even if I could have moved them out of Kev's grip, they would
have been too short to fully return the embrace.
That hug lasted longer than any of the many others before. I let
the muscles in my neck relax and laid down my head on Kev's
shoulder. That was the moment, when something happened with Kev.
Nothing physical, but it was as if something within Kev had
snapped into place. As if he finally had reached a conclusion.
"Leon... this evening... it felt like a date." He said softly.
It wasn't a question but a statement.
It must had been that last glass of champagne or his proximity,
his warmth, strength and aroma, washing over me, or all of those,
but my defenses were forgotten for the fraction of a second.
"Perhaps it was."
It took me exactly three heart beats to realize, what I had said.
Then all hell broke loose inside of me. All the scenarios I had
concocted around coming out to Kev welled up in me
simultaneously, struggling for my attention.

Mild, but decided rejection...

Kev moving out of the room, leaving me behind alone...

Being beaten to a bloody pulp by his relentless arms...

I wasn't able to determine, which one of those was about to
become true. I felt like falling. Since I wasn't able to decide,
I started to blurt out.
"I'm sorry...sorry...Kev...don't leave me...don't go...don't hurt
me."
The jerky movement, which accompanied that mess of a sentence,
caught Kev off guard and he let go of me. I stumbled back one
step and sank down to my knees, still well within range of Kev's
arms. I had started to cry, tears flowing down my cheeks.
Kev stretched out his arms and took my face gently into his hands
and made me look at him.
"Leon... don't apologize... please... don't apologize for the
very thing I wanted from the first moment I saw you... don't take
it away from me by apologizing!" Tears welled up in his eyes as
well.
"And no, Leon. I will never leave you. I will never go. And I'd
rather die, than hurt you." His tears started to flow.
My mathematically trained mind was used to process information
step by step, to follow a logical reasoning up to its end. But it
took time to think that way. I put my hands on Kev's, which were
still holding my face. I let my head slump on one of his hands,
giving my mind the time it needed to come up with its conclusion.
One step is missing, the proof is incomplete...
I raised my head again and let my hands slide along Kev's arms.
With one hand I gripped his chin; with the thumb of my other hand
I wiped away his tears. I took his face into my hands like he was
still holding mine.
One step is missing, the proof is incomplete...
My mind requested proof where the heart had already decided a
long time ago.
"Kev, say it, please." I whispered looking into his eyes.
He had understood.
"Leon, I love you."
Quod erat demonstrandum.
The walls made of what-ifs and could-bes crumbled down in a
mighty roar, finally releasing the four words, which they had
guarded so meticulously.
"I love you, Kev."
We closed the distance till our foreheads touched, still holding
each other's face.
At last, our lips found and we kissed; tender at first, but soon
tongues asked for entrance and a fierce fight commenced. The
entire tension that had built between us over the past months was
grounded in this single kiss.
We parted.
"Whoa." We said simultaneously, looking at each other.
That single no-word described it as well as a thousand pages full
of elaborate verses. Poetry wasn't created by quantity, but by
quality.
Kev looked at me.
"The invitation to this evening..."
"The oiling up and the massages..." I continued.
"You nursing me..."
"You looking at my ass..."
"When you had dressed up for me..."
"And you dressed up for me..."
"The track suit and the cinema tickets..."
"Accepting both gifts... forgiving me..."
"You looking at me in the showers..."
"Taking me with you for running..."
"Coming with me for running..."
"Playing that special song..."
"Helping me moving in..."
"Looking into your eyes for the first time." We simultaneously
concluded our list.
We had traced back together all those moments we had had; every
single one almost insignificant by itself, but now absolutely
necessary in the overall picture, each being a link in an
inevitable chain of events. In hindsight, it was almost painful
to see how obvious our love for each other had been from the
first moment. I shared this conclusion with Kev.
"What a pity. We could have been lovers from the very beginning."
"But we became friends, before we became lovers. That must be
good for something."
I nodded.
"Kev, nonetheless, let's make a promise. No more tip-toeing
around each other, no beating around the bush. Truth and honesty.
Boy scout's promise." I crossed my heart like Kev had done
before.
"Truth and honesty. Boy scout's promise." Kev crossed his heart
as well.
The promise was sealed with another kiss.
We ended up stripped to the underwear in Kev's bed, snuggled
firmly together, kissing each other time and again. The idea of
having sex didn't occur to us this evening.  We were too
emotionally spent for anything but resting together, being close.

I woke early in the morning. I heard Kev's steady breathing
behind me, his warm and firm body close to mine. One of his arms
was slung around me. From the outside this may have looked
possessive, but I felt protected and safe. I knew for sure that
Kev had no other intentions on his mind. With my index finger, I
softly traced along his arm, starting at his very finger tips. I
felt for every detail on his arm. I followed the bulge of his
biceps, probed every square inch of his triceps and all the other
muscles, whose names I didn't know. I once had wondered, whether
Kev would feel like granite. I had been wrong. He was firm, but
still his skin was soft to the touch, a soothing warmth radiating
from him. Touching Kev felt a thousand-fold more complex, more
delicate than even the most exquisite stone could feel. I lifted
my finger off his arm.
"Please don't stop."
A trace of desperation was vibrating in his voice. I lowered my
finger again, which resulted in a soft intake of breath of his.
"Did I wake you up?"
"If I have to choose between this and sleeping, I do prefer
this." He chuckled.
Since all my defenses against Kev had been annihilated the night
before, this sound could penetrate my deepest core now. In
addition to the goose bumps, a shiver of pleasure shook my body.
"What was that?"
"That little chuckle of yours has its effects on me. It always
had."
"Oh really..." He was close to my ear now and chuckled again, the
result being the same as before, but twice as strong.
"Leon, that is how I feel every time I see you." He whispered
into my ear.
"Kev, why me? You could have every single gay man out there...
and also some of the straight ones."
"Leon, let me return the question. Why me? You are the most
caring and loving man I know. You possess an angelic beauty. No
one in his right mind would turn you down."
"Because I love you."
"And that is my answer to you. Because I love you."
We kissed and, in silence, we let these words sink in.

At last, we got up and decided to stick to our running training
today. The campus was deserted, an almost eerie place. We held
hands during the entire training, each of us afraid to awake from
this beautiful dream, once we would let go of the other.
We had just returned to the dorm and were now undressing in the
changing room of the shower. Having got rid of our clothes, Kev
said
"Truth and honesty, Leon?"
"I don't understand..."
"You are allowed to look at me, all parts of me." Kev was
grinning now.
I realized with a start that I was still avoiding to look at
Kev's private regions. I had brainwashed myself so thoroughly
that I would not have noticed myself, what I was doing. Or not
doing.
Kev bowed down to me and said in a very low voice, directly into
my ear
"I even wouldn't mind you touching me down there."
I knew that he was joking. Though only two hands full of students
had stayed in the dorm, this changing room was still a public
place and someone could enter at any moment.
"I will definitely come back to this offer." I smirked.
"Truth and honesty, Kev?"
"Go ahead." The grin still plastered to his face.
"Does it grow even more, when it gets hard?"
The grin widened into a full smile.
"You will have to find out for yourself. As the son of a lawyer
you wouldn't accept hearsay, would you?"
That said he walked into the shower. I followed suit.
When Kev started to soap up, the raunchier part of me gained the
upper hand.
"Let me do that."  I had added a purr to my voice.
"Sure."
If Kev had smiled any more now, his face would have split into
two. He handed me the shower gel. In soft rubs, I started with
his chest and went down to his abs. To tease him, I moved up
again to his armpits and took care of his back... strictly the
upper parts of it, of course. Though my touches had been anything
but sexual, Kev was already panting and his cock was hard as a
rod of steel, bent up at a very nice angle. His cock and mine
thought obviously alike, since I was sporting one heck of an
erection, too. Furthermore, I had the answer to my previous
question.
"Ah, exhibit A shows obvious signs of gaining considerably in
length and girth, when stimulated."
"Objection. Exhibit A hasn't been stimulated yet." Kev said,
breathing hard.
"Sustained. This omission of duties should be rectified at once."
My soapy hands grabbed Kev's cock, resulting in a growl of his.
Though hot as it was, it still was a little terrifying. Not me
touching Kev's cock, that was simply heaven. The fact, that both
of my hands together could barely cover two-thirds of it and that
its diameter slightly exceeded the diameter of my wrist, made me
uneasy. My experience in man-to-man sex was limited, but I knew
that I would be in for a rough ride. Pun intended.
The noise of the door opening made us both freeze in mid-motion.
"Sorry, there. Wrong door."
An unfamiliar voice came from the door, which, to our relief, was
closed as fast as it had been opened. The half-wall had kept us
hidden from view.
"Oh, exhibit A doesn't react too well to shock." That was Kev
speaking.
Both of us had become flaccid again. We burst out in laughter.
"We better adjourn this hearing." I said, still laughing.
"Agreed."  Kev commented, his laugh fading into a grin.
Seemed as if both of us were not into public sex... at least not
yet.

Back in our room, we had fits of laughter again and again. Almost
having been caught at touching cocks, seemed hilarious in
hindsight. But it had raised another question.
I wasn't quite sure how to tackle that subject, so I decided for
a slow approach.
"Kev...um... exactly how much privacy do you think is appropriate
for our relationship?"
That could be coming straight from a publicly funded gay
awareness web campaign.
I mentally smote my forehead. But I couldn't come up with
anything sounding more relaxed.
"Getting it on in the showers seems to be a no-go." Kev smirked.
"No kidding, Kev! How important is being tender in public for
you?"
From web campaign to college LGBT meeting.
"Do you feel embarrassed by me?" Kev's voice was filled with
sadness.
I grabbed his hand and kissed it, for his lips were out of range.
"Kev, you dumb jock." I said tenderly "I want to go out there and
announce to the world that Kev Schneider is mine and mine alone.
I want to hold your hand out there, smother you with kisses. I
want to rub it in everyone's face. Anyone who is unlucky enough
to cross my path."
Kev kissed me on the top of my head, whispering.
"Sorry."
"Kev, I love you. I've never been so sure about a thing in my
life."
Another kiss was planted on my head.
"I love you, too." Still a whisper.
"So what about the public hand holding and the smothering?" I
said, trying to lighten up the mood again.
Kev chuckled.
"I would like that." He pretended to think, as if he had to
convince himself about it.
"Can it interfere with your scholarship?"
In a perfect world, it couldn't. But this was real world, expert
at fucking up your life since ten thousand B.C. So much for
lightening up the mood.
"It's granted by the college itself. With all that diversity
stuff going on here, I don't think they would mind, quite the
contrary. Coach is cool. The team... not quite sure."
Kev didn't sound as confident as I had liked him to. My thoughts
wandered to my `picket fence fund'. In a worst case scenario, it
could pay for another one and a half year of college. Whether Kev
would accept my money, was a different question. I kept this idea
to myself, but having a plan B helped to ease my worries.
"I'm not planning to become a professional bodybuilder. That
could be awkward. Gays and professional sports don't mix well."
Sad, but true.
"Leon, as you have said I want to show it to the world. I want
everyone to know that Leon Fitzgerald is mine and mine alone."
Kev started to grin at the last part of his sentence, echoing my
words from before.
I smiled back at him. Together we would make it.
"Um, Leon. Could we rehearse this smothering part? I don't want
to ruin the show because of stage fright."
I grabbed my pillow and smacked Kev hard with it... and then we
thoroughly rehearsed the smothering part.

The spa was closed over Thanksgiving and the following weekend,
so we could spent the day as we pleased. It was early afternoon,
when Kev announced to me he would skip his bodybuilding training
session. It was obvious that he was uncomfortable about it, since
he had already skipped it the day before. But it was obvious as
well that he wanted to spend as much time with me as possible. I
had come up with an idea.
"Kev, I haven't seen you train. I haven't seen any bodybuilder
train, to be frank."
"It's boring to watch."
"I think it's up to me to decide." I smirked and added "I think,
watching you is anything but boring."
"No one will be there except me. Some company would be fine."
Kev's face had lighted up noticeably.
He packed his sports bag and we left together for the training
hall. In the light of our previous decision, I linked arms with
Kev. He liked it, if the smile on his face was any indication.
I had seen training machines in movies and on television, of
course. But close up, they reminded me of torturing devices and
contraptions only aliens could come up with. Kev mainly trained
on those machines that day, because no one was there to spot him.
Spotting, that was a person watching out for another by securing
the barbells, as he had explained to me. I knew that Kev was
strong, but associating real numbers with his strength through
the weights he was lifting, put his power into a new perspective
for me. Those numbers exceeded my own weight by far. We didn't
talk much, because I didn't want to interfere with his training.
I just wanted to be an observer. I had never seen Kev that
focused, concentration showing on his face. His movements were
controlled, revealing a routine that had been acquired by years
of practice. I couldn't deny that this display of strength was
sexually arousing.
After some two hours, Kev had finished his training and ticked
off a list, which was attached to one of the walls. Kev's eyes
fell on a note that the coach had put up on Wednesday, according
to the date in the upper right corner. It was likely that Kev was
the first team member to see besides the coach.
"Nice. Coach got our team into the college competition at the
Hardwood Contest. It's sponsored by billionaire Lars L. Hardwood,
hence the name. Very high prestige. A good ranking there and we
are a sure pick for the national college championships."
The note said that the competition would take place on December
15th, a Friday.
"Short notice, isn't it?" I asked.
"We are well within our training goals. We should fare okay. It's
difficult to get into that contest. Likely that coach had to move
heaven and earth to do so. Perhaps, some team bailed out at the
last moment and we are replacing it."
"Larkville, that's not far from here?"
"It's a one hour drive. Why?"
"The Bergmont team will have at least one fan supporting it." I
said, my smile infecting Kev.
On our way back to the dorm, he explained to me that college
level bodybuilding was following a more natural approach than
professional bodybuilders did.
"We are striving for the best definition possible, but extremes
are frowned upon by the jurors at this level. We don't bulk up,
either. Bulking up is a special phase of weight loss and muscle
gain that professional bodybuilders have to endure before a
competition."
Kev gave me the layman's explanation of professional
bodybuilding, but at least I could follow him that way. He hadn't
showered at the training hall, having decided to do so in the
dorm. A plan was forming in my mind, fueled by the sexual tension
that had built up watching Kev's training session.
In our room, Kev had just grabbed fresh clothes and was about to
leave for the showers, when I put my scheme into action.
"Kev, could you give me another one of your massages. My neck is
killing me." I rubbed it for effect.
That wasn't quite the truth, the tone of my voice making that
obvious. Kev grinned.
"Just let me get showered and my hands are all yours."
"Please now. It hurts so terribly."
"But I'm all sweaty and sticky and smelly."
"I don't mind. Not at all..."
I had a flashback of the day of Kev's arrival, remembering his
return from the training, his musky smell then and its effect on
me. Kev's thoughts seemed to have strayed to the same event.
"You opened the window, when I returned on that first evening."
"Not exactly, because I didn't like your smell."
Understanding dawned on Kev's face.
"And I think after that massage, we will need a shower anyway.
Did I mention that I am not planning to wear any clothes this
time?"
I put off my shoes for a start, before slowly pulling up my
sweater.
"Let me help you."
Kev tenderly removed the sweater. He slowly unbuttoned my jeans,
pulling it down in a smooth motion while sinking to his knees.
Kev bowed a little more to kiss my stomach in many different
places. His hands caressed my back and my thighs. It was a small
struggle to get me out of my briefs, my hard cock interfering
with the attempt. Kev snickered.
"Don't laugh. It's all your fault." I joked.
"Then it's time to exact revenge on me."
Since he was kneeling before me, I could remove his t-shirt
despite our difference in height. It was clammy and I brought it
to my nose, sniffed it. I deeply inhaled Kev's aroma.
"No need to go for the substitute."
Kev had raised his arms to reveal his armpits, short blond hair
covering them. I let my head sink into his right armpit and
reveled in the sensation of his musk, its intensity being larger
by magnitudes compared to the piece of cloth I had just discarded
to the ground. My tongue probed for Kev's skin. A salty taste
washed over me, intensifying my perception of his smell even
more. Kev moaned. I could feel his hard cock twitching, pressed
against me through the fabric of his pants and the jock strap. I
motioned him to stand up, Kev reluctantly complied. I lay my head
on his waistband and started to pull down his pants. I let my
head slide down right after the pants, my cheek rubbing along the
jock strap. The aroma down here had a different texture, darker,
more vibrant. When the pants had reached the ground, I put my
head back in the position, where it had started its descent. I
repeated, what I had done before, starting to move down the jock
strap and letting my head follow shortly after. This time my
cheek brushed along Kev's tool, which had sprung up freed of its
prison. Kev was breathing heavily and was groaning almost
constantly. I started to move my head back up again, now using my
tongue to trace the length of his dick. Kev shivered with
delight. He was already on the verge of coming. But he obviously
didn't want it to be over that soon, because he lifted me up like
you would do with a small child, turned me to the side till I was
cradled in both of his arms. He moved to my bed, carrying me.
"I am still owing you a massage." He said in a gentle tone.
He lay me down on my bed, back first.
"We have completely neglected you front side during our
massages."
He straddled me, so that his cock was resting in the crack of my
butt. He bowed down to kiss me on the lips, neck, pecs, stomach.
His hands rubbed up and down my torso in circling motions, making
my breath come in short gasps. While his left hand continued the
caressing, his right hand had found my dick. Kev started to
stroke it in a slow, but steady pace. At the same time, he had
started to move his hips synchronously, his cock brushing against
the soft skin of my ass cheeks. The rhythm increased, gained more
urgency. I could feel the muscles in Kev's groin tense, before a
long groan of his and a sticky, warm wetness on my butt marked
his climax. The intensity of his orgasm swept me along, making me
spurt thick wads of cum onto my own chest and stomach, panting.
Kev let himself slump on me, most of his weight resting on his
arms beside me, his head lying on my chest.
His baritone voice resonated in my body.
"I will never shower again after training."
I snickered.
"I second this plan."
We cleaned each other with paper towels and I changed the sheets
of my bed, before we took a quick shower together.
We didn't want to leave our room for dinner, so we decided on
Deng Long's delivery service. `Wir sind Helden' playing in the
background, we made out the whole evening, unable to keep our
hands off each other. Once again we ended up in Kev's bed, Kev
spooning me, one of his arms around me and drifted off into a
blissful sleep.

On Saturday morning, we did our running training as usual. Again,
we held hands, not willing to miss any second of possible
contact. After showering, we headed for the cafeteria for
breakfast. We had just started eating, when Kev snatched one of
the flyers lying on the table.
"They are showing `The Wizard of Oz' in the city cinema this
evening. I love that one, too."
"Who doesn't?" I said laughing "Wanna go?"
"But this time, I will buy the tickets and the food." Kev
grinned.
"Okay, okay."
Kev's job at the spa paid well enough not to have second thoughts
about accepting the offer. It would be our first date. At least,
the first date, where there was no doubt about it being one.
On the way back to our room, we checked our letterboxes in the
dorm hall. Kev had an officially looking envelope with the
college's seal waiting for him. He didn't seem to be in a hurry
to open it, because he just walked to the stairs leading to our
room. Once we had arrived there, he dropped it on his desk and
picked up a book about sports didactics to put it back on his
bookshelf. I was starting to worry.
"Looks important..." I said nervously, nodding in the general
direction of the envelope.
"The letter?" He started to laugh.
I went from worried to confused.
"These are just the results of my monthly health check." He
finally opened it.
"Yep. It is." He confirmed some moments later.
"They do all kind of tests on the team every month. They test for
almost everything: standard blood levels, steroids, drugs, STDs,
whether we eat our Lima beans..."
"STDs?" I inquired.
"Sure. Why?"
I opened one drawer of my desk and produced a white envelope.
"Two weeks old." I explained.
"You get tested for STDs?" Now it was Kev looking puzzled.
"When I was fresh here at college, I attended every single LGBT
meeting taking place. In one of them, they hammered into us, how
important regular testing is. Compliant, little Leon has been at
every single screening day, the LGBT guys offered. Though there
has never happened much to warrant so much caution... till now."
I grinned at the end of my sentence.
"I am clean. Want to see?" Kev held out his results to me,
grinning too.
"Me, too... clean... I mean."
I stretched out my hand, but retracted it, before taking the
letter from him.
"Kev, I trust you. If you say, you are clean, I'll believe you."
"So do I." He said, looking into my eyes.
"That means..." I started.
"Oh, wait!"
Kev moved over to me and knelt down before me, taking my hands
into his.
"Leon Fitzgerald. Do you want to have unprotected sex with me?"
Mock sincerity was showing on his face.
"Yes, Kevin Schneider. I do." I said, playing the shy guy.
We couldn't help, but laugh.
However hilarious that `proposal' had been, it still had been
true to its own nature. We had dedicated us to each other. What
else was a proposal meant for? Thinking about it this way made a
warm feeling spread in my stomach.
"What about right now?" Kev said with a sly grin and a nod to my
bed.
He didn't wait for my answer. He swept me up and threw me onto my
bed. Kev followed with a jump, somehow managing not to crush me.
Deep kisses being exchanged, his body tenderly rubbed against
mine. He moved his mouth to my ear.
"I want you to fuck me." Kev whispered.
I stopped dead in my tracks. That had come unexpected. We hadn't
talked about it, but I had implicitly assumed that Kev would be
the top, I would be the bottom. I could have lived with that role
allocation, lived with it very well. The surprise must have shown
on my face, because Kev was smiling at me.
"Just because I am the big guy with the big dick, doesn't mean
I'll leave all the fun to you."
So much for the typecasting. I drew Kev into another deep kiss.
If Kev had more of these surprises up his sleeve, our
relationship would never be boring for sure. A thought urged into
my mind.
"I've never fucked someone before..." I whispered after breaking
the kiss.
"Then it's about time we get you started."
That sentenced finished, Kev got out of his longsleeve. I did
likewise with my hoodie, the sensation of our naked torsos
touching heating up my desire.
"Just wait a second."
Kev jumped off of me and got a small dispenser bottle with a
clear, viscous fluid from one of the drawers of his desk. He
placed it on my bedstand.
"We will need that," Kev said smirking, lowering himself down on
me again.
One of his hands had gone for the button fly of my jeans and
opened it. He slid his hands into my briefs, making me moan. In
small movements, he caressed my cock and my balls. Not that this
treatment had been essentially necessary, since I was already
sporting one heck of an erection. I enjoyed it nonetheless. Each
of my hands had grabbed one of Kev's ass cheeks through the
fabric of his track pants.
"Time to get rid of those as well."
He removed his pants together with the boxers he were wearing, me
following his example short after. We were lying on our sides
now, looking at each other. I started my way down Kev's body,
planting a kiss here and there. I had quick pecks for his cock
and his balls, too, but I hadn't reached my final destination,
yet. Kev knew, where I was headed and lifted his legs up, holding
them fast with his hands. His wonderful ass, for which I had
fallen the first time I had seen it, was lying before me. I
touched the soft skin of his cheeks, before tracing the crack of
his butt with my fingers. I felt the tender tissue of his hole,
which was already twitching in anticipation. Kev made a
whimpering sound, obviously enjoying, what I was doing. I lowered
my lips on his right cheek and kissed it softly. The left one was
in for the same treatment. Finally, I closed in for his butt
hole, giving it some short licks, before leisurely exploring it
with my tongue. The whimpering had stopped to be replaced by a
gasping sound. The longer I probed around, the more Kev's rosebud
relaxed, allowing my tongue to penetrate him deeper.
"Here... use it...on my hole..." Kev's voice was strained, coming
in short gasps.
He was holding out the bottle to me. I complied, applying a
liberal amount of the gel to his ass hole.
"Now stick a finger in there... prepare me...for more..."
I could feel his muscles clamp around my intruding digit. But
after a short while, they relaxed and I could let my finger
wander around. I hit a walnut shaped bump, extorting a feral roar
from Kev. I had found his prostate, my theoretical knowledge
about it now substantiated by practical experience.
"Second finger..." Kev whispered, coherent speech not being
possible for him.
My two fingers roamed around Kev's chute. I was avoiding his
prostate now, knowing that further excitation there, could push
him over the edge, before we had really started.
"Third..."
I did as I was told.
"Now...cock... lube...then slowly..."
My erection had even intensified during the treatment of his ass.
I slickened it up with a liberal amount of the clear fluid. We
had adjusted our position, Kev's legs now resting on my
shoulders. I positioned my dick at his hole, my cock head only
slightly pressing against it. His rosebud opened up and by the
smallest increase of pressure, the mushroom-shaped tip vanished
into Kev's ass. The tightness surrounding my member was
overwhelming, shooting up bolts of electricity along my spine. A
frown formed on Kev's face, accompanied by a hissing sound.
"Okay... take it slow... let me get used to it..."
Even if I had wanted to, I couldn't have moved right now. I had
to cope with the sensations flowing through my body myself.
Kev's face had relaxed, being my cue to go for more. Slowly, I
shoved in more of my cock, giving him time to adapt once in a
while. All too soon, my pubes were pressed against his butt. I
pulled my dick out a little bit, just to slam it back in
immediately. Kev had started to take care of his own pecker and
worked on it in long strokes. I grew more bold, removing more and
more of my cock, before going in the full way again. Our moans
came in unison. I increased the pace, intensified the rhythm. I
reveled in the sensation of Kev's muscles clamping and unclamping
around my length. The bolts of energy that had crept up my spine
returned to my groin with a vengeance. That energy seemed to pool
there, to build up towards a final purpose. I looked at Kev, who
was totally consumed in his own ecstasy. Having his powerful body
lying beneath me, knowing that it was me, who was giving him
ultimate pleasure, had me on the verge of coming. If I wanted to
last any longer, I would have to stall for time. I lowered myself
down on Kev, grabbed him tight and tried to roll on my back. He
had anticipated my intentions and went along. The movement was
one smooth flow, my cock never leaving Kev. He began riding me,
while he resumed the stroking of his own dick. I was out of the
frying pan, but in the fire now. I hadn't seen it coming that Kev
towering above me would be even more arousing than having him
beneath me. I succumbed to the energy in my groin. With a yelping
sound escaping my mouth, I started to pump my cum into Kev, spurt
after spurt shooting up his ass. Feeling the contractions of my
cock inside him, Kev couldn't withhold it any longer. Accompanied
by a mighty growl of his, Kev placed long threads of semen on my
stomach in a criss-crossing pattern. I needed more of Kev's body,
needed something to cling to. So I raised my upper body and slung
my arms around him, bringing our torsos as close together as
possible. Kev moved back a little bit, so that my weight was now
resting on him. My legs followed my arms in hugging Kev; I was
now sitting on his thighs, my cock still buried deep down inside
him.
"Seems to be another thing you are a natural at." Kev said after
a while.
The smile was mirrored in his voice.
I kissed him, a feeling of gratitude and love for him flowing
through me.

"We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz..." I
sang.
It was time to leave for the bus stop, if we wanted to get to the
cinema in time.
"Alright, Judy. Do we have to wear badges this time, as well?"
Kev joked.
"This time I'm not quite sure, who you would be." I mused.
"The Tin Man... no heart... gave it all to you..."
"You are more like the Scarecrow... no brain... forgot that you
got my heart in exchange."
Kev kissed me on the forehead, before we left.
In the bus, we got some strange looks. Two guys holding hands,
cuddled together on one of the benches, was still something the
people had to get used to here in this city. Being of such
different physiques caught attention, as well. Kev and I
pretended not to notice any of those. At the cinema, we went
straight for the ticket counter, where a teenage girl was
cheerfully tending to her customers.
"Wizard of Oz, two tickets, please." Kev smiled at her.
"And, oh, you do have couple seats, don't you? Can we have one of
those, please?" he added.
Brittany, that was what her name tag said, looked at both of us
and grinned.
"The two of you? Oh, you look so sweet together."
In a much lower voice, she added
"Two boys are so hot."
Kev and I had to struggle not to laugh out loudly. Kev moved
closer to her and whispered
"Steaming hot..."
Brittany's cheeks turned red, but not because she was
embarrassed. The cinema in her head was playing something
X-rated. We had a fan.
She handed us our tickets and added a coupon giving us 20% off at
the snack bar.
"Have fun, you two." She said with a wink.
When we were out of hearing range, we both had to chuckle.
"That was cute." Kev said.
"Indeed."
We stocked up on candy, popcorn and cola.
Cuddled up into the seat, which looked liked a small sofa, we
enjoyed Dorothy's adventurous trip back to Kansas together.

We were heading for the bus station, performing `Follow the
yellow brick road' together. We even tried to do the
choreography, walking to and fro, crossing our legs behind us.
Kev and I had to learn the hard way that dancing often looked
easier than it was. Two times, we almost stumbled and caught
something to hold on to in the last moment. We had fits of
laughter.
"So much for our career as ballet dancers. I had it all planned
out in my mind." Kev commented, when we arrived at the bus
station.
After a short while waiting there, I started to shiver, the night
being quite chilly. Kev stepped close behind me and crossed his
arms in front of my chest. Tightly drawn to him, my trembling
soon subsided. Those small gestures I enjoyed the most.
"Sir, would you please let go of the man and step back."
Kev and I turned our heads. Two young police officers were
standing close by, hands on their weapons. From their point of
view, it must have looked like Kev was threatening me. Anger
welled up in me. Once more someone had jumped to a conclusion,
was utterly misjudging Kev, because of his looks. I stepped
around Kev and extended my arms to both sides, trying to shield
him. The rage was clearly showing on my face and in my voice.
"Thank, you officers. But I don't think that my lover, who is the
most gentle and caring man you will ever meet, will mean any harm
to me. Go, protect and serve someone who really needs it." Biting
sarcasm was dripping off every single word.
Of all the things, the two policemen hadn't expected that.
"Sorry, sirs." One of them muttered and both of them were in a
hurry to get away as fast as possible. Despite my tiny frame, I
could obviously be very intimidating.
"Would you have caught the bullet?"
I was still standing with my back to Kev.
"Of course." I answered, turning around.
I now could see that Kev had been joking, a grin still plastered
to his face.
"Isn't the big guy supposed to jump in front of the small guy?"
Kev added chuckling.
"Depends..." I was chuckling, too.
Kev stepped closer and kissed me on the top of my head, mumbling
"My brave lioness."
"What?"
I looked puzzled at Kev and he started to roar with laughter.
"'The brave Lioness' was a cartoon movie that I loved as a kid. I
watched it over and over again. That was a video tape, pre-DVD
time. In my favorite scene, a hunter is pointing his gun at one
of her kittens and she jumps between them."
"What happened then?"
"The hunter was so moved, that he left them alone. Kid's movie."
Kev shrugged.
I motioned Kev to bow down and kissed him tenderly on his lips.
Okay, he had just compared me to a large, female pussycat from a
cartoon, but I loved the sentiment.
Shortly after, the bus arrived and it took considerable effort
not to tear each other's clothes off during the trip home.

The clothes were gone as soon as he we had entered the privacy of
our room. We were beyond tenderness, raw desire had taken over.
Earlier that afternoon, when Kev had been to the training, I had
been roaming the web. It had started with checking some forums I
participated in, but soon I had been following link after link,
letting the web guide me. On one of the pages, an ad banner
praising an all male porn page had caught my attention. It had
been describing one of their model's proficiency in deep
throating, using very graphical language and pictures. The site
had not interested me, but the idea of completely swallowing your
lover's cock had me intrigued. I had searched for FAQs and
How-Tos, which all boiled down to deep throating being about
relaxation of your throat and practice.  I knew for sure that
given Kev's size a lot of practice would be necessary, but I was
determined to give him that act of devotion as a gift. The first
lesson was about to start. We had ended up in Kev's bed this
time. I had slowly moved down his firm chest and six pack,
kissing, nibbling, licking. Kev was already hard as rock when I
arrived at his cock. I made a little detour to his balls, taking
them into my mouth one by one, caressing them with small pecks. I
moved back up the length of his dick, tracing its length with my
tongue. Kev was breathing hard. I followed the rim of his
mushroom head with my tongue, sizing it up for my further
intentions. Kev was now whining in a low tone, his face tense by
pleasure. I let the head slip into my mouth. It felt as putting
my own fist into my mouth, the tongue amplifying the sensation of
size even more. Watching not to touch it with my teeth, I moved
the cock head around in my mouth. I built up suction and released
it again, letting a rhythm of its own take over. My tongue
resumed its probing of the most welcome intruder. I took more of
him into my mouth. My research had prepared me well, because I
had not to gag when the tip of Kev's cock hit the back of my
throat. I felt content, having accomplished more than I would
have thought possible the first time. I gave up control, let my
body and my love for Kev decide what to do next. The indulgence
in the sensation of his dick cleared my mind of all thoughts. I
felt lust, but peace and tranquility flowed over me and through
me. An unhuman sound and a tickling sensation at my nose intruded
into that trance-like state. I opened my eyes, which were unable
to focus due to the proximity of the object they were looking at.
I realized with a start that I was buried deep in Kev's groin.
The sound was coming from him and the tickling was caused by his
pubes. When I had let myself go my body had decided to take him
in, all of him. The shock made me almost gag. I closed my eyes
again and desperately grasped at the last strands of the calmness
that had permeated my mind mere seconds ago. It did the trick.
The urge to get rid of the cock in my throat waned. I started a
bobbing motion with my head. Kev's cock left my throat, just to
enter it again moments later. The impossible was ridiculously
easy, now it had been accomplished once. It took me some time to
figure out a pace and a rhythm that allowed me to pleasure Kev
and to breathe. Kev refraining from humping my face helped a lot.
My thoughts wandered to him. My sensations were overwhelming, but
what Kev felt had to be even more intense. He didn't last much
longer.
"Leon, I am coming."
Kev started to pull away from me, but I didn't want him to.
Following with my entire body, I managed to keep his cock head in
my mouth. The first spurt of his cum lashed across my tongue. An
unknown taste spread in my mouth. I knew descriptions of that
flavor, calling it salty or sweet. But this characterization
couldn't do the true experience justice. I likened it to some
exotic spice in a foreign meal, the sensation of something you
are exposed to for the first time. Load after load followed the
first, but not a single drop was wasted. The idea of swallowing
cum had always felt disgusting, but with Kev it was the most
natural thing to do. I wanted Kev to be part of me. He had
finally expended himself, his body going limp. I opened my eyes
and looked at him, unprepared for what I saw. Tears were flowing
down Kev's cheeks. I scrambled up the bed and rested his face
against my chest, caressing his head. His sobs rocked my body.
"What is it?"
"That was beyond everything I have ever experienced or felt."
His voice was frail and trembled with his crying.
"Hush, hush."
"Know when people say that you can love someone so much it hurts?
I've always found it ridiculous. Man, was I wrong."
His sobs subsided at last. It was the first night that Kev rested
in my arms.

When I woke up the next morning, Kev's head was still resting on
my chest. My arms were slung around him as far as they could
reach. He was sleeping peacefully, his face relaxed, a hint of a
smile playing around his lips. The realization that he needed my
protection as much as I needed his brought me close to tears
myself. Kev opened his eyes and looked at me. He drew me into a
passionate kiss.
"Promise me to never let go of me."
A whisper, barely louder than silence.
"I will be by your side forever."
The strength of my own voice shocked me, though I had kept it as
low as Kev's. We kissed again.
Finally, we had left the bed and had enjoyed our daily morning
routine of running, showering and breakfast. The day passed by.
We didn't talk much, but words were not necessary. The events of
the last night had elevated our relationship to a new level of
intimacy. Though we did not speak, we touched and kissed every
time we got close enough to do so.
By afternoon, the reality of our studies had caught up with the
intimate space we had created around us the last days. Kev was
sitting at his desk and was working on a paper about anatomy. I
was doing likewise, reading a book about integration theory,
taking notes from time to time.
"Sounds familiar."
I looked up at Kev, who had talked to me. I realized with
surprise that I had been humming a melody without noticing
myself. My mind had strayed to the night when we had watched the
Rocky Horror Picture Show together. I started to laugh when I
became aware of the song.
"Touch-A, touch-A, touch-A, touch me, I wanna be dirty. Thrill
me, chill me, fulfill me, creature of the night."
I sang out aloud, adding sex to my voice.
"If that's what you want."
Kev had shot around the desk, grabbed me and thrown me on my bed,
before I knew what was happening. He pinned me down with his
body. Kev grabbed both of my wrists in one of his hands and
pulled them over my head. I knew he was only using a fraction of
his strength, but even if I had wanted to, I couldn't have broken
free. His other hand had formed into a fist and was dragged along
the line of my jaw.
"Creature of the night."
A sly grin accompanied his sexy hiss.
The door flew open and Rob's voice echoed through the room.
"I'm back, little..."
In a blur, she had crossed the distance between the door and my
bed. She grabbed a fistful of Kev's hair and pulled him back.
"Let go of him, you son of a bitch!"
I had seen Rob angry before, but her features were contorted
beyond recognition.
"Rob!"
She didn't react.
"Roberta Wilkins!"
That never failed. Her glare went from Kev to me.
"It is not what you are thinking."
"What is it then, Leon?"
She hadn't called me by my given name for a very long time.
"It is when you normally say `It is not what you are thinking'."
It took her some moments to comprehend.
"Oh."
A weak sound.
"Oh."
That one had been much stronger, fueled by realization.
"I'll... you two... I'll..."
I gestured at Kev. Rob had forgotten that she was still holding
Kev by his hair. She released him. He rubbed his scalp, pain
showing in his face.
Without another word she left our room, leaving the door open.
Kev looked at me and a grin formed around his lips, while he
continued the caressing of his own head. That had been hilarious
and I broke out in laughter. I wasn't angry at her as I had been
with the policemen. I knew that her concern was genuine, given
her former sentiments towards Kev, and the situation had been
very ambiguous.
"You better talk to her."
"Shouldn't we both?"
"I think she'd prefer to talk to you first. Furthermore, my head
isn't too keen on another treatment of hers."
We laughed together. I nodded and left for Rob's room.
I knocked at her door, given the unpleasant experiences we had
made with forgetting about this basic courtesy recently. Though
no answer came, I entered. Rob was alone, her roommate had not
returned yet.
"What?"
"Rob..."
"Was about time, both of you fucked each other's brain out. I
couldn't bear being close to you two any longer with all the sex
sparks flying around."
I ignored her façade for once.
"Rob, it is more than just fucking our brains out. Much more."
"You think the pin-up hunk loves you?"
"Rob, I know that the pin-up hunk loves me."
My calmness had penetrated her defenses. Understanding formed in
her face, spreading from her eyes.
"And you love him, little one?"
"More than anything else."
She began to smile.
"I am glad for you. Both of you."
 "You are the first to know, if it means anything to you."
"Your family?"
I startled at the mention of my family. It hadn't occurred to me
yet that I had to tell them. But my parents were still on the
cruise. They could be contacted by satellite telephone, but they
would return by the first weekend of December. It could wait till
then, but not for any much longer. They deserved to know. I shook
my head in reply to Rob's question.
"You can tell your giant baby of a boyfriend that I will not harm
him as long as he doesn't hurt you. Next time, I won't let go of
him."
We burst out in laughter.
"I love you, Rob."
"I hate you, little one."

Courses, training and Kev's job at the spa had resumed on Monday,
but Kev and I spent every free minute together. With Kev I had
learned the distinction between sex and making love, always
thinking of them to be synonymous before. Kev hadn't fucked me
yet. I hadn't asked for it and he hadn't insisted, for which I
loved him even more. I was still afraid of his massive cock being
rammed up my ass, but I was on my way to overcome my fears. I
owed it to Kev, owed it to myself. I wanted to be one with him in
any way possible.
The phone call with Mom and Dad had been awkward at first, but
had transformed into a moment of true closeness between a son and
his parents. We had talked for two hours. I had given a detailed
description of Kev and the events leading to our profession of
love on Thanksgiving. I was especially moved that my parents did
not doubt the sincerity of our feelings once. When they had
learned that Kev wasn't on good terms with his family, they had
immediately invited both of us for Christmas.
Later that evening, Kev and I lay cuddled up together in his bed,
looking at each other.
"My Mom and my Dad have invited us for Christmas."
It was the conclusion of my call's recount to Kev. He didn't say
a word.
"Do you want to go?"
I would have understood if he had not been ready to meet my
family.
"Of course."
He kissed my fore head.
We stayed silent for another quarter of an hour. I knew what was
going on in his mind, but had to collect courage, had to convince
myself that it was time to ask.
"Do you want to tell me about your family?"
Kev looked into my eyes, their clear blueness piercing deep into
me. He finally had found there what he was looking for and
nodded.
"I came out to my parents, when I was 16 years old. Perhaps
`coming out' isn't the correct term. Dad had caught me and a boy
from the neighborhood making out. After throwing him out of the
house, Dad confronted me. He asked whether I was that kind of
pervert. I simply nodded. He stormed up into my room and soon
after, my stuff was piled up on the front lawn. He made clear in
no uncertain terms that I should better join my belongings."
"Did he hurt you?"
I only dared to whisper.
"No. I was as tall as I am now and had begun my training, though
I wasn't as defined. He was afraid of me. But I would have never
hit him back, never."
"And your mom?"
"My Mom?"
He laughed a cold laugh.
"My Mom did whatever he said. No, he never touched her, either.
But he had his ways to make her do his bidding. There are worse
things than being hit."
He had to pause for a short moment.
"I moved in with my Grandpa, Grandpa Schneider that is. He was
more tolerant than his son. But my Dad knew where I was and
confronted his father about me. Grandpa had stood up for me, had
defended me against his only child. But I knew that his heart
would ultimately break, if he had to put up a fight against my
Dad. So I left for good, never to contact any of them again."
"Where have you lived?"
"As far away as possible. I found a shelter for homeless
youngsters in a small town some thousand miles away from home. I
intensified my training, being the only distraction I had. Later,
I instructed other kids how to train and was allowed to assist
the nurse, who helped out at the shelter. Shortly before
finishing high school, I learned about the scholarship at State
U. It was the luckiest day in a long time, when I got accepted. I
moved to the State U dorm then. But the people at the shelter are
still what resembles a family the most for me."
Kev had finished his story. I was shocked at how cruel his
parents had been. At the same moment, I was grateful for his
grandfather and that he had found the shelter and that those
people had taken good care of him. It was close to a miracle that
Kev had emerged as the cheerful and almost unscarred person he
was. But there were scars. His reluctance to accept my gifts, his
feelings of inadequacy, his uncertainty whether he deserved my
love, sometimes hinted at the ill-healed wounds that he had
suffered. Everything I could have said would have sounded hollow
and inappropriate. It was time for action, not words. I kissed
him on the fore head, as he had often done with me. I placed his
head on my chest, rested one hand on his cheek and the other
caressed the back of his head. Kev should feel that my love was
unconditional, that he hadn't to do anything to deserve it. He
already had all of me and I had given it willingly.

 After that evening, Kev had relaxed about the visit to my
parents. Having shared what he had never shared with anyone
before had broken down a wall inside of him. The childlike
enthusiasm I liked so much had taken over. He had even asked me
about gift ideas for my parents and Christopher in special.
Tiffany, Marc and their little son would spend Christmas at my
parents' place as well.

It was December 15th now. I was waiting at the exit of the
college's parking lot. Kev and I had decided it would be most
convenient if we took his car to go to the Hardwood Contest
together. That decision had been followed by a small quarrel
about who would pay the gas. We compromised on sharing the bill
and had reconciliation sex, so there hadn't been much of a fight
to warrant it. Kev's grey, well used car stopped right before me
and I got in. He was tense, lost in thoughts about the upcoming
competition. I tried to cheer him up with chatter, but I hadn't
much success. He remained silent most of the drive. We arrived at
the Larkville sports center. I hadn't expected that so many
people would be interested in a bodybuilding competition. A
colorful crowd had gathered before the doors of the stadium. I
could make out several sound trucks of various TV stations parked
there. Some of those were even of national stations. Kev and I
separated with a kiss, he heading for the athletes' entrance and
I following the masses into the building. Inside the noise of
hundreds of people talking and laughing with each other was
buzzing in my ears. I loved that sound, liked to let it flow
through my mind, grasping at fragments of dialogue here and
there. The college competition itself took place in one of the
smaller gym halls of the center. Some thousand people had found
their way here, filling the hall to its brim. I had been early
and got a good place close to the podium where the athletes would
pose.
"Do you mind if I take that seat, my son?"
A middle-aged man, having an athletic body himself, was smiling
at me.
"Sit down, sir."
I smiled back.
"Call me Cameron, my son."
"Leon."
We chatted about the competition and he told me about other
contests he had visited. The crowd was mixed, but many were of my
age, most likely being students supporting their college. Some of
them had prepared banners firing up their respective team.
The competition began with the group posing. The bodybuilders
entered and were frenetically welcomed by the audience. I waved
at Kev, as he entered, and he gave me a short wave back. I hadn't
seen so many muscular young men in one place before. They all
were very well defined, but in my eyes Kev was the biggest one.
Another thing occurred to me, when the group line-up had begun.
All of them were smiling, but it looked strained, artificial,
when they did the posing. Then again, Kev's smile was genuine and
friendly. He had enough practice in this special pose.
After the group posing, the single performances began. Cameron
gave comments on the athletes, pointing out to me their strengths
and weaknesses. Kev had entered the stage.
"This is Kevin Schneider. A very promising young talent. A little
more symmetry to his deltoids couldn't hurt, though. But overall
the most interesting boy here."
"I know."
I smiled a broad smile. Cameron couldn't know that I was indeed
interested in this one Kevin Schneider only.
At the end of the competition, Bergmont had achieved the third
place in the overall ranking. That was an excellent result and
would entitle them to participate in the national college
championships. I was proud of Kev, because he had received the
special commendation of the jurors and he was wearing a light
blue sash now.
Since spectators were not allowed anywhere near the athletes, I
waited at the car for him. He was coming towards me, grinning,
sash loosely draped over his jacket. I greeted him with a deep
kiss.
"Congratulations, my big guy."
"Thanks."
His ears had turned red by embarrassment.
"Coach and the team wanna celebrate at Deng Long's."
We had just left the parking lot of the Larkville sports center
and were on the one-hour-drive back to the college. I had
expected something like this and smiled at him.
"Have fun!"
"Um, coach and the rest of the team asked whether you would like
to join..."
"But..."
"They know about us. I talked to Coach and the team mates shortly
after the Thanksgiving weekend. Must have forgotten to tell you."
The sly grin on his face left no doubt, that he had not
forgotten. It had been a set up.
"Sure."
I felt very happy that everything had worked out just fine for
Kev, forgotten our discussion about possible reprimands.
Kev's coach and his five team mates were already occupying a
group table at Deng Long's when Kev and I arrived.
"Coach Derringer, team mates, meet Leon Fitzgerald, my
boyfriend."
We all shook hands.
"Nice to finally meet the one who lit up the fire under Kev's
butt."
Coach Derringer winked at me and we all had to laugh at his
comment, even Kev. A small round of introductions followed. The
coach had ordered a wide selection of meals, which were now on
the table for everyone to choose from.
"What do you think of Kev's performance, boy?"
Coach Derringer had addressed me. I remembered Cameron's words.
"A little more symmetry to his deltoids couldn't hurt."
The look on Kev's face was priceless, shock written in his
handsome features.
"If you don't listen to me, listen to your boyfriend, Kev. I've
told you what, a thousand times?"
I solved the mystery of my sudden insights into bodybuilding and
told them about my acquaintance at the competition. We burst out
in laughter, remembering Kev's reaction. I liked those guys.
Later that evening, I was returning from the restrooms and
Timothy, one of the team, was headed for them. I smiled at him,
but he only stared at me, contempt in his eyes.
"Listen, fag. You may have twisted Kev into your fucking
perverted life style, but keep away from the rest of us. If I
ever meet you alone..."
He never finished that sentence and brushed my shoulder hard when
continuing his way, making me stumble. I somehow knew that `the
rest of us' was only him. I turned my head to the table and
realized that Kev was looking at me. I sat down, Kev's gaze never
leaving me.
"What was that about? You made a funny face."
I couldn't tell Kev the truth, not without causing unrest in the
team. Timothy lived off-campus and was studying constructional
engineering. I had never seen him before. The probability of
meeting him alone was non-existent.
"He asked about a mathematical problem. You know how my face gets
out of control when I am thinking hard."
I put on a convincing imitation of a smile that was answered by a
genuine grin of his. That little confrontation had ruined the
evening for me. The happy feeling I have had when Kev had talked
about his coming out to the team had turned sour. What startled
me the most was when Timothy returned and continued his friendly
chatter, even addressing me. This one was dangerous.

Back in our room, I had locked up the evening into the darkest
corner of my mind. I had other plans for rest of this night. We
were already undressed, when I got the sash that Kev had been
awarded this day.
"Due to your exceptional accomplishments today the jurors think
that a special reward is appropriate."
I put the blue piece of cloth on Kev, having him to bow down to
do so.
"What might that be?"
I crooked my fingers, motioning him to come close. I brought my
mouth close to his ear.
"I want you to fuck me, Kev."
It was a mere breath into his ear.
Kev straightened up and was looking into my eyes.
"Leon, you don't have to. I know how big I am. There are nicer
things than having it shoved up one's ass..."
I put my index finger on his lips and shook my head.
"Tonight there isn't anything else I want, but to have you inside
me."
To give point to my words I grabbed Kev's cock and massaged it
gently. Kev closed his eyes and laid back his head. It didn't
take long to get him fully aroused. I maneuvered us to Kev's bed,
making him lie down. In the drawer, I found the bottle with the
lubricant.
"We gonna need this."
We grinned and kissed, our tongues teasing each other. Kev
grabbed me and gently put me on all fours. I lowered my torso,
stretching up my ass to him. His strong hands caressed the cheeks
of my butt. He drew his tongue through the crack of my ass. Up
and down and up... the bolts of energy shooting through me once
again wreaking havoc with my spine. He started to nibble at my
rosebud, his tongue probing there time and again.  I lost track
of time, reveling in the sensations Kev was creating. I felt a
cool wetness at the hole of my butt and Kev's index finger
entered me. The finger alone was of immense size, at least from
the point of view of my ass. But the intruder was completely
forgotten, when Kev had found my prostate, softly rubbing against
it. When it had been bolts of energy before, it now was a
supernova of feelings, taking everything with it in its wake,
expanding through my whole body. I was so consumed in these
sensations that I hadn't noticed Kev's middle finger joining the
first. These two fingers together were bigger than most cocks,
but I wanted to feel Kev inside me, wanted more of him. I
couldn't wait for the third finger to follow. I felt empty when
he removed his fingers, but were shivering in anticipation of
what was about to replace them. Kev lifted me up again, turned me
around and lay down on his back, still holding me.
"I want you to ride me. You shall decide how much to take."
Kev's giant tool was already slick with the gel-like lubricant. I
placed myself over him, let his mushroom shaped cock head rest at
the entrance to my ass. I lowered myself down and it slipped into
me. A sharp pain lashed through my groin, a whimpering sound came
out of my mouth. The muscles in my ass tensed. I looked down into
Kev's face. He was commiserating with me, his features showing as
much pain as I was feeling right now. He began to lift my body
up, but I shook my head and he stopped. I had to relax myself. I
reminded myself that I was doing it for Kev and let my love for
him take over. Slowly, the muscles in my butt unclamped. The pain
lost its sharpness and transformed into a feeling of pleasant
fullness. Inch for inch, I lowered myself down on him, giving
myself time to get used to it. With closed eyes, I allowed my
body to decide for itself. Kev's pubes touched my ass. Once again
my body had made the impossible a simple feat. My body and I had
the same desire, we wanted to take as much of Kev as possible. I
lifted myself up by the fraction of an inch and lowered myself
down again. Now it was Kev who was whimpering. I increased the
pace, lifted myself higher and higher, before going down again.
Having Kev all the way up in me gave me a sense of union which I
hadn't felt before. His enormous girth was a constant excitation
to my prostate, causing unending currents of electricity through
my groin. Once again I looked down at Kev. His face had changed.
Something primal was showing in it. His eyes glowed of lust, an
aggressive lust.
"I want you to fuck me, pound me."
Kev grabbed me, got up from the bed and put me on his desk, his
rod buried deep inside me. The animalistic part of Kev had taken
over and I was fluent in its language.
"Fuck me hard, Kev. As hard as you can."
He was in a frenzy. With hard thrusts in an unhuman rhythm he was
beating away at my butt. I hadn't realized that I was rock hard
myself and I came without having touched me once. The
contractions of my orgasm ripped through my groin. I took Kev
with me, I could feel him tensing up and starting to unload. An
animal-like growl escaped his mouth through his entire climax,
becoming louder and more feral over time. He slumped down on me,
both of us panting heavily. His body was slick and glistening
with sweat. I looked once more into his face. The animal had
gone, a most tender smile playing around his lips. I couldn't
help but to smile back. He picked me up and placed me on his bed
again, more gentle than the transfer to the desk had been. He
lowered his lips onto mine, his tongue softly brushing against
them.
"That was..."
He couldn't find the words to describe what has happened.
"No-one has ever taken me fully or begged to be pounded harder."
I didn't feel the slightest jealousy, though he was comparing me
to his former experiences. Having outperformed those helped a
lot, to be frank.
"I scared the shit out of myself. Weren't you afraid?"
"No. Not at all."
That was the truth.
"Why not? It was wild, violent..."
He was terrified by himself, being confronted with the
uncontrolled aspects of his self.
"It was still you, Kev. However primal and animalistic that side
of you has been, it was still Kev, my Kev. And no harm will come
from you for me. I know that for sure."
We kissed again, our tongues performing a wild choreography of
their own.
"And obviously, I am into some rough stuff."
I hinted at the drying strands of my semen that stuck to our
stomachs. I started to chuckle and Kev joined in.
We didn't even bother to clean ourselves and fell asleep holding
each other.

It was the day before Christmas Eve. Kev had insisted that we
took his car, another quarrel about the gas, another round of
reconciliation sex. Kev's small car was loaded to the brim with
boxes, bags and stuff. The ride would take us approximately six
hours. We had left at 9am, so we should arrive by afternoon at my
parents' house. At the beginning of our trip Kev had been
cheerful, chatting away, singing along the Christmas songs
playing on the radio. But the closer we came to my parents, the
tenser he got. When we had crossed the city limits, Kev was
silent and his hands were trembling, almost unnoticeably, but
they did. I put my hand on his arm and smiled at him.
"You will like them."
"That's not..."
"And they will like you."
Kev's smile was uneasy, but it was a smile. Of course, it was
nerve-wrecking to meet the parents of your lover. Given the
situation, I would never meet his parents. I wasn't relieved
about it. It made me sad forming a lump in my throat.
"Here, Kev. Here it is."
Kev turned to the right and drove up the white gravel path that
led to the house.
"You didn't mention that your parents live in a mansion."
I cackled. It wasn't exactly a mansion. True, it was upper class;
its size was luxurious for a family with two kids. Money had
never been a problem, but we were not rich by any means.
"Laugh as you want. It is a mansion."
Kev was grinning as we got out of the car. I was glad that his
tension had eased though my elation had been a little early. With
every step we made towards the front door, Kev sank in a little
more. I took his hand and pressed it to reassure him. We rang the
doorbell. The following scene had to be an almost exact
reenactment of Kev and me meeting for the first time. Mom is
around my height, my Dad is one head taller than me. When they
opened the door, they were looking straight at Kev's midsection.
Shock written on their faces, they moved their heads up, till
they were looking at his face. Kev was smiling at them. It took
them some moments to recollect themselves.
"Mom. Dad. Meet Kev... Kevin Schneider. Kev, these are my
parents."
Kev extended his hand, still smiling. I had to suppress a
chuckle. When they had seen the sheer size of his hand, the shock
had returned. It was my Mom who came back to her senses first.
"Come here, Kevin."
She moved past his hand, put her arms around him, not quite
reaching around him, and embraced him. Now it was Kev who had to
recover.
"Welcome, Kevin."
Kev was returning the embrace now, watching not to apply too much
strength.
"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Fitzgerald, ma'am."
Mom let go of him and looked at him sternly.
"Don't you dare call me Mrs. Fitzgerald or ma'am. My name is
Dolores."
She was beaming at him now. I had my mother's eyes, I must have
looked very alike when I was smiling.
"And I am Anthony."
They shook hands, Kev once again adjusting is strength to a
comfortable level.
After I had been hugged by both of my parents, they finally
invited us into the house and led us to the living room. Tiffany
and Marc were sitting on the couch, Christopher was playing on
the ground with some building bricks. When Kev had entered the
room, Christopher's bright blue eyes had widened. He was staring
at him in blatant, childlike curiosity. He got up, moved close to
Kev and motioned him to come down. Kev was beaming at the little
boy, went down on his knees and bowed down till they were on eye
level. Christopher brought his mouth close to Kev's ear.
"Are you a shiant?"
Christopher had tried to whisper, but like so many kids, he
wasn't good at it. We all had heard the question. I came to Kev's
rescue.
"Yes, Chris. He is a giant. But he is a good giant who is always
nice to people."
Christopher looked in astonishment at Kev who nodded in
acknowledgement, still smiling at my nephew. A grin grew on the
little man's face.
"I like shiants."
I introduced Kev to Tiff and Marc.
"Sorry for that."
My sister had an uneasy look on her face.
"If me being a giant makes the little man happy, I am a giant."
Marc and my sister laughed, but Tiff was still troubled. I could
read it in her eyes.
"I am sure the two of you want to get your baggage and bring it
to the guest room?"
My mom was looking at me.
"The guest room?"
I had expected that I would sleep in my old room, while Kev would
occupy the guest room alone.
"Leon. We are your parents. But we are not off this world. You
share a room at college, no need to separate you here. The milk
has already been spilt."
It took her some moments to realize how dirty a pun she had used
without intention. Mom turned beet red. It was my Dad who burst
out laughing, all of us joining in.
"Dolores, don't give them ideas."
When we all had calmed down of another fit of laughter, Kev and I
left for the car and fetched our stuff. We took it up to the
guest room, where a king size bed occupied most of the space.
"Was it that bad?"
"Your parents are awesome. And your nephew is adorable. As is his
uncle." Kev kissed me on the top of my head, I caressed his cheek
in reply. We joined the rest of my family in the living room
again. We chatted about all and nothing. After some time, my Mom
asked Tiff and me to help her in the kitchen. Marc and Dad had
left for some last pre-Christmas shopping. Kev and Christopher
had started to play together. They had built some weird thing
with the construction bricks, both of them chuckling time and
again. The contrast between the high-pitched kid's laughter and
Kev's low rumble was heartwarming. In the kitchen, Tiff was
restless.
"What is it?"
I knew that something was on her mind.
"Is it such a good idea to leave him alone with Christopher?"
She made a gesture at the general direction of the living room.
"Tiffany Morton. What are you talking about?"
The voice of my Mom was harsh. But I took Tiff by her arm and led
her to the door of the living room. Inside, Kev and Christopher
had given up on the construction bricks. Christopher was riding
on the back of Kev, who was holding him secure with one hand.
"Hold on, little bear. Big bear is in a hurry."
Kev made jerky movements, like a rodeo horse. Christopher was
giggling without a stop.
"I know he looks intimidating. But I assure you: he is the most
gentle and caring man I've met in my whole life. Look at the two
of them."
I waved at Kev and Chris. Both of them waved back, still
laughing.
"Trust the assessment of your little boy. Kids see with their
hearts, a trick we adults have unlearnt."
Tiff's gaze was resting on me now.
"The way you are looking at him. You really do love him, don't
you?"
"With all my heart and soul."
"I hope that little Chris won't want us to be the horses, when
Kev isn't around."
We laughed on our way back to the kitchen.

In the evening, we had dinner together.
"Kev, you are studying physical therapy and physical education?"
"Yes, Anthony."
"And the bodybuilding? Are you planning on a career as a
professional bodybuilder?"
"Oh, Anthony. Leave the poor boy alone and let him eat."
Mom was glowering at my Dad.
"It's alright. And no. I'm not planning to become a professional
bodybuilder."
"Sorry, Kevin. It's my job. Sometimes I can't stop the
questioning, till someone raises objections."
We all, with the exception of Kev, moaned. We all had had our
fair share of paternal questioning. Dad laughed, because he knew
how carried away he could get.
"Kevin, it's Fitzgerald family tradition to buy a tree and
decorate it on Christmas Eve. You will join us, of course."
Mom hadn't even bothered to put it in the form of a question.
About the tree, she was adamant.
"Sure, Dolores. I'm really looking forward to it."
Kev and I volunteered for the dishes after the dinner.
"Now, I do understand why you love your parents so much."
"Believe me, sometimes their love is just a little too much."
"I have a lot to catch up. It will take some time, before I get
an overdose."
I looked at Kev, fearing that the thought about what he didn't
have would pull him down. But he was smiling at me. For once, I
was grateful that my parents were the loving pains in the neck
they were.
We joined them in the living room. Kev and Dad talked about
sports. Dad finally had found someone to share his interest in
it. I talked to my Mom about the progress of my studies and the
campus life in general. We called it a night soon. We would need
our strength for the upcoming holidays. In our guest room, Kev
stood before the bed.
"Oh. Looks comfortable. King-size."
"It's not the only king-sized thing in here."
Kev looked at me with a sly grin, before he grabbed me and we put
all the king-sized things in this room to a thorough test.

In the morning, Kev and I did our running training. Close to the
home of my parents was a small park, which we circled several
times. It was chilly, but it hadn't snowed yet. The forecasts
were predicting a white Christmas, so it was about time for the
flakes to fall. When we arrived home, Kev and I had the idea to
prepare breakfast for the family. We had put the dishes on the
table, afterwards Kev made the coffee and I prepared the dough. I
wasn't much of a cook, but my pancakes were famous. Though, the
lack of practice showed. I gave Kev one of the first pancakes,
whose form only remotely resembled a circle.
"This is excellent. My boyfriend is a secret cook."
He snatched another one from the plate, grinning like a bobcat.
"Hey. Leave some for the others... stop it!"
He had pilfered a third pancake, while I was talking. I
threatened him with the spatula. He started to run around the
oven which was at the center of the large square room. I followed
him, still wielding the cooking device like a weapon.
"I surrender, I surrender."
He fell to his knees. I lowered the spatula. A careless mistake.
I had fallen for the ruse, because Kev grabbed me with both arms
and pulled me to him.
"Kiss the cook."
He announced to me, before lowering his lips on mine. I lost
track of time, as always when Kev was kissing me.
My mother's voice came from the door.
"Leon. I'm not an expert, but are those pancakes supposed to
smoke?"
I jumped up, just to realize that I had fallen for another ploy.
The pancakes were still alive and healthy. Kev and Mom laughed
out. After glowering for some moments, I couldn't help but join
them.
"That's sweet of you to make the breakfast. I'll go and fetch the
others."
Having a meal with the entire family was always nice, at least
for some days in the year. I got compliments for my pancakes.
"They have been made with love."
Mom commented, exchanging a knowing glance with Kev and me. The
three of us chuckled, leaving the rest of the family none the
wiser.
After breakfast, Mom commanded my Dad, Marc and Kev to accompany
her to buy a tree. Even the Pope speaking ex cathedra couldn't
have more authority.
"Good luck, soldiers."
I yelled after them. Kev gave me a puzzled look. I only smiled,
knowing what was expecting them. I watched as the car drove away.
Tiff, Christopher and I spent the morning together, playing
games. Tiff and I brought us up to scratch concerning the things
that were happening in our lives. Kev was the biggest news in my
life, pun intended, my growing interest in complex analysis the
other thing I told her about. Marc had been promoted to lead
accountant of the department he was working in. It meant more
money for them, but also some overtime hours. Tiff had finished
some freelance web design projects at home. Caring for
Christopher was more important than work for her at the moment.
Before we knew, it was past noon. The car was coming up the
gravel path, causing that typical crunching sound. I looked out
of the window. On the car's roof, a giant fir tree had been
mounted. Mom exited the car first, beaming over her entire face.
Her three male companions followed shortly after. The trauma of
shopping was written in their faces. They looked exhausted, their
skin grey and deep dark rings showing around their eyes. I had to
suppress a pang of gloating, biting on my lower lip. When the
three had removed the straps securing the tree, Kev carried the
tree into the house alone.
"No, Dolores. It's not too heavy."
Kev forced himself to smile. I could tell. I knew Kev's smiles
well.
"Let him alone, Dolores."
Dad was beyond smiling.
"At least, we have one strong man in this house."
Mom was looking directly at Dad, her smile not wavering a bit,
though her eyes were shooting daggers.
Marc had the courtesy to keep silent and hugged Tiffany longer
than a simple greeting would have warranted. The most critical
phase of a Fitzgerald Christmas had been overcome, with a minimum
of casualties and almost no collateral damage. I bit my lip
harder not to burst out laughing.
It was part of the tradition to have coffee and a chocolate cake
after positioning the tree in the living room. Tiff and I had the
theory that one needed the endorphins from the chocolate to
dampen the trauma of buying the tree to a tolerable level.
Whatever the mechanics, it worked. The family members had calmed
down and were chatting away at the table. The upcoming decorating
of the tree would be real fun.
All of us participated in putting the ornaments on the tree. We
had Christmas baubles in different colors and sizes, garlands and
small figures made of straw. Mom wasn't too fond about colored
lights, so we had settled for using white ones. The tree was
radiating a festive mood. But one thing was still missing: the
angel sitting at the tree top. That special angel was ancient. It
had been in my Mom's family for generations. It looked like a
doll dressed in a white gown. Two large wings were attached to
its back, the golden plating almost completely gone. The
porcelain face bore an eternal smile and friendly eyes were
looking back at you. Light blond and long hair framed the
delicate head. By family tradition, the youngest member of the
family had the honor to place the angel on the tree. Christopher
was holding the doll in his small hands, his face solemn. He may
have been too young to really understand, but somehow he knew he
was about to do something important. He looked up at Kev, his
eyes bright. An idea had formed in his young mind.
"Kev, lift up?"
"Of course, Chris."
Kev gently took up my little nephew and sat him down on his
shoulders. Christopher could now easily reach the top of the tree
and positioned the angel with great care. When Kev had put him
down, Christopher motioned him to bow down and planted a kiss on
his cheek.
"Shank you!"
 "You are welcome, little friend."
With an abrupt motion, my Mom left for the kitchen. I had seen
the glistening on her face and followed her. She stood at the
window, looking at the garden, dawn already draining its colors
away. In the glass, I could see the reflection of her tears.
"What is it, Mom?"
"I'm just one lucky mother, dear. Both of my children have found
themselves loving and caring men. What else can a mother wish
for?"
I closed the distance and hugged her from behind, my chin resting
on her shoulder.
"I love him, love him deeply."
"I know, my son. I know."
She patted my head.
"It's time for an old, sentimental mother and her son to join
their family."
Her reflection was smiling at me.

We returned to the living room, but not for too long. Another
tradition required the children to get one present on Christmas
Eve, right after dinner. So we all dressed up for the evening.
Dinner on Christmas Eve was always very simple, having in mind
the upcoming days of feasting. This year it was potato salad,
sausages and corn bread. Holding my hand under the table, Kev
told us about the Christmas Eves he had spent with his family.
Following German traditions, they had enjoyed a simple dinner on
Christmas Eve, as well. Moreover, he had gotten all his presents
on Christmas Eve. I was feeling a mix of proud and relief that
Kev was able to speak about his parents so freely. It showed me
how very much at ease he was with my family. I squeezed his hand
and he understood.
After cleaning the table together, we all gathered in the living
room. My parents wouldn't allow us to give them any presents this
evening, children and grand-children only. Kev and I had sat down
on the sofa. Christopher was the first to get a nicely wrapped
box. Another set of construction bricks, but by the look on his
face you knew that those were the ones that had been missing so
far. Tiff and Marc were next. They got a very nice set of silken
bedclothes, which was shimmering in the dim light of the
Christmas tree. Surprise was written on Kev's face when he got a
parcel, too. It had the same shape as mine, his being larger.
"But, I..."
"Hush. Hush. Santa delivered it for Kevin. That's what the
sticker read."
Mom winked at Kev who beamed at her in reply. We both unwrapped
our presents simultaneously and opened the beige cardboard boxes
which we had found inside.
We produced identical pairs of running shoes, except for the
size. I looked at Kev. He was in shock, his eyes staring at the
trainers. I knew those shoes from advertisement posters you found
everywhere. They had an innovative shock absorbing bed made of a
gel-like substance. And I knew the price. Furthermore, I knew how
Kev reacted to expensive gifts.
"But these are..."
"... the least we can give to the very man who made Leon do
sports. Not to mention, the very man he is in love with."
Dad was grinning at Kev who was now staring at my Dad.
"Anthony, you always go at the gate like a bull!"
But Mom wasn't really upset. Her eyes had that gentle gleam when
she was looking at my father. Dad just shrugged, still grinning.
"Exactly my size..."
Kev's gaze had returned to the shoes.
"The Lord may bless Beth for being the orderly person she is. She
filed away the note on which... quote... Your son had ordered a
rental suit and shoes for this really big fellow student of
his... unquote. It didn't take rocket science to come up with
that being you."
Mom was smiling now. Dad had laid his arm around her. Kev's hand
had found mine. Like before at the table, I gave it a light
squeeze.
"Thank you."
Kev had muttered the words. But then he jumped up and swept both
of my parents into one of his bear hugs. Tears had welled up in
his eyes, but they didn't start to flow. Eventually, he let go of
them.
"You are welcome, Kev. It's really not too much for a great guy
like you."
Dad caught the elbow of my Mom for this comment. She whispered
one word only.
"Bull!"
It was Tiff who broke out in laughter first. It was contagious.
Soon all of us were holding our stomachs of laughter.

Next morning, Kev and I were awakened by the loud sound of small
feet rushing down the stairs, accompanied by hearty laughter. Kev
was looking at me.
"Merry Christmas, Leon."
"Merry Christmas, Kev."
We kissed, just a tender brushing of lips. I cuddled close to him
and buried my face in Kev's chest. I wanted to revel in his
closeness. One small pause, before the activity of a family
Christmas would keep us busy for the rest of the day. Kev
caressed the back of my head.
"They are waiting for us."
The comment was directed more at me than at Kev. I let go of him
reluctantly. Kev just nodded. We got out of bed and dressed. With
the bags full of our presents for the family, we descended into
the living room. Christopher had already created a mess of
wrapping paper. Games, children's books and more construction
bricks were lying around him in a small circle. In the center sat
Christopher, beaming up to his ears. I had given money to Tiff to
get something for Chris. But Kev had insisted to buy something of
his own. Kev gave the gift to Christopher.
"Santa wanted me to give it to you."
Though I had not thought it possible, my little nephew smiled
even more. He tore away the paper. Inside was a stuffed rabbit
with long, floppy ears. Christopher was a rabbit fan and I had
told Kev so. The little man pressed the rabbit to his chest and
closed his eyes. Only children could love that much.
"What's his name?"
Kev had knelt down besides Chris. After thinking about it for a
short time, the little boy looked at Kev.
"Kev."
"That's a nice name."
Kev chuckled. From that moment on, Kev the Rabbit was the
constant companion of Christopher.
Now the adults exchanged presents. Kev and I had teamed up on the
rest. Mom was into everything that only remotely was feline and
we had found a nice, semi-abstract black marble cat for her
collection. For Dad, it was a signed copy of a book from one of
his favorite authors, a lawyer writing essays on the history of
law. For Tiff and Marc, we had been inspired by Mom and Dad. We
had bought them silk sheets matching the bedclothes. From the
looks on all their faces, no-one was disappointed.
Kev and I got presents, too. Tiff and Marc had gone for the funny
present: "The Kama Sutra for Gay Men. A richly illustrated book
of love".
"There will be prep tests. So work with it."
Marc had a special kind of humor which I liked very much. Kev
seemed to share this liking, because he laughed out loud. Mom and
Dad gave Tiff and Marc an envelope, having an identical one for
Kev and me.
"Open them, children."
Mom was as excited as little Christopher had been. Kev and I sat
down on the sofa to open the envelope together. It was a gift
certificate for a weekend trip.
"You can select time and destination yourself. The company has
quite a lot of options to choose from."
Dad explained to both the couples. Kev and I were looking at each
other. Our first holiday together. We embraced each other first,
before we remembered to thank Mom and Dad. I had hugged both of
them and Kev had hugged all three of us.
Kev and I had taken seat again on the couch, before we finally
exchanged the gifts we had for each other. I insisted on Kev
being first to open mine. Kev burst out laughing when he had
opened the small, flat and rectangular parcel. It was a DVD copy
of `The brave Lioness'. I had found it on the web site of a small
shop which had specialized in children's movies of all decades.
"Look inside."
I tried to keep my face as blank as possible. Still the smile
kept creeping back on it. He did as I had told him. A silver
necklace with a small "L" as a pendant was hidden in the DVD
case.
"So you will not forget me, if I am not around."
I allowed the smile to come to my face. Kev chuckled. It wasn't
quite the reaction I had expected. He handed me a small cube-like
box.
"Open it."
The well-known sly grin had grown around Kev's lips. Inside that
box was a silver necklace with a small "K" attached to it.
"So you will not forget me, if I am not around."
Kev's grin widened into a full smile. I started to laugh.
"Great minds think alike."
After a short pause I added.
"Let me put it on you."
I took the necklace out of the DVD case. Kev turned away from me
and slid down a little bit so that I could reach his neck. I was
pleased to see that I had chosen the right length.
"Now you."
It was me who turned away from Kev now and there was no necessity
to make myself smaller. With his gentle hands resting on my
shoulders, he closed the tiny lock. I turned back to face Kev
again and hugged him, whispering into his ear.
"As if I could forget you."
"Or I could forget you."
I realized with a start that the room was absolutely silent. Kev
and I turned our heads towards the others. Everyone, including
Christopher, was looking at us with a smile.
"Look outside!"
My Mom had noticed first. Snowflakes had begun to fall and
covered everything with a blanket of white velvet.

Due to the snow, we had to postpone the first run with the new
shoes. Instead the entire family went for a walk. Later that day,
we fetched my old sled from the cellar and Kev, Christopher and I
went for the park. It was the first time for the little man to
slide down a snowy, little hill. He was scared at first. But when
Kev told him he would hold him fast, Christopher agreed for the
ride. I had forgotten how much fun a sled can bring. Like that
afternoon, the rest of the Christmas days went by in a rush. We
had wonderful meals together, talked in the living room and
played with Christopher. Unfortunately, Kev and I had to leave on
the day after Boxing Day. All of Kev's team members were supposed
to return, because training had to be resumed for the national
college championships that would be in March. Kev had suggested
that I could spend some more days with my family, but I didn't
want to leave him alone. The farewell had been as hearty as the
welcome. Christopher was very sad that Kev had to go, but when
Kev had promised to see him again soon, my little nephew was back
to his cheerful self. Christopher's good mood had infected Kev
for the whole trip. I felt glad that Kev and my parents had
gotten along just fine.
Kev and I spent wonderful days together at the college. We
finally were able to break in our new shoes. It was like running
on feathers. On New Year's Eve, we had a little celebration of
our own. This had been the best Christmas break I ever had. All
too soon, the rat race of being at a college had started again.

I had been walking through the aisles of the library for hours
now. At least, it felt like hours. The library computer insisted
on the book, a text on measure theory, being here. I had asked
one of the librarians, but he could only confirm that the book
should be here and that it most probably had been sorted in at
the wrong place. Since I needed this book for a paper, I had no
choice but to search for it. I had made my way to the engineering
section. At least, the librarian had been able tell me that the
book's binding was bright red, because they had images of all
their books in the system. So I scanned the shelves for red
books. Fortunately, those were not too numerous. I was completely
absorbed in my search when I bumped into someone.
"Oh. Excuse me, I..."
My heart fell. Of all the persons I could have jostled, it had to
be Timothy, Kev's teammate. I quickly glanced up and down the
aisle, but there was no-one to be seen.
"Look! What have we got here? The fag."
A sneer formed on his lips.
"I am sorry, I will..."
"What have I told you about hitting on me?"
The sneer had vanished. It had been replaced by pure anger,
distorting his features.
"I didn't..."
He grabbed me at the collar of my shirt.
"I will teach you to leave normal guys alone."
He drew back his fist. I closed my eyes. It hit me hard on my
left cheek. Timothy had released his grip, so the momentum of his
punch knocked me to the ground. A metallic taste and a warm
trickle on my chin made me aware of the fact that I was bleeding.
My shoulders and my back ached. In my ears, a screeching noise
dampened out all other sounds. My eyes were still closed, but I
saw whirling dots of light moving in a wild dance. I didn't dare
to open them, bracing for the next hit or kick that was sure to
come. The uproar in my ears began to fade and I heard a
voice...no... more than one voice. I opened my eyes. It took some
moments to get them focused. Hayden and Jaleel, two other members
of the bodybuilding team, were holding Timothy. He was glaring at
me with cold eyes. I now could understand what they were saying.
"Dude, are you crazy? That's Kev's boyfriend."
"Answer us, Tim."
Timothy didn't say a word. Hayden turned to me.
"Are you alright... Leon... that's your name, isn't it?"
"I am... yes, Leon... I..."
Hayden had made a step forward and extended his hand to help me
up. Jaleel still had Timothy by his left arm.
"Why do you help the fag? It's all his fault."
Timothy said this without any emotion showing in his voice,
echoing the coldness of his eyes.
"First, he corrupted Kev and now we are next."
Hayden and Jaleel looked at Timothy in disgust.
"You are talking shit, dude."
"Piss off, Tim. Just go."
Jaleel pushed Timothy down the aisles and motioned him to go on.
Timothy pointed a finger at me in silence, but turned around and
left in a slow stride.
"We are sorry, dude. Tim is just one crazy asshole. We hadn't a
clue."
"We'll take you to the college nurse."
"I don't think that that is..."
"We insist."
Hayden was still holding me and started to move, making me follow
him. During the trip to the nurse they kept apologizing for
Timothy.
"What have you done to this poor boy?"
Nurse Garland glowered at Hayden and Jaleel.
"It wasn't them. They helped me against... the attacker."
I felt reluctant to reveal Timothy's name.
"It was Timothy MacFarland. One of our team mates."
Hayden had made the decision for me. In a certain sense, I felt
relieved. But I also wondered what would happen to the team. I
would have to assume responsibility for that.
"Sorry, boys."
Nurse Garland's eyes had softened. The two bodybuilders simply
nodded. Nonetheless, in both of their faces shame was showing.
The nurse cleaned the laceration. I was elated to realize that I
still had all of my teeth. Nurse Garland gave me a note which
listed the symptoms of a concussion and instructed me to
immediately see a doctor if any of those would show. Hayden and
Jaleel escorted me to my room, though I had repeatedly told them
it wasn't necessary. I thanked both of them, another apology
their reaction.
It was 5 o'clock now. Kev would be at the spa for another two
hours. In the loneliness of my room, the realization of what had
happened hit me. I started to shiver. I was afraid. I was
furious. The lack of a logical explanation for his attack drove
me mad. The fact that I hadn't been able to do anything against
it enraged me even more. I opened the door of the wardrobe and
looked into the mirror. My lip was bruised and where his fist had
made contact the skin was red. I knew it would turn black soon.
For the first time during this terrible event, I started to cry.
I watched the tears flow down on my reflection, as if a stranger
was crying.
Not quite a quarter of an hour later, the door flew open. I
jumped up from my bed, just to sit down again. It was Rob.
"Oh, little one!"
She ran over to my bed and hugged me, still standing.
"I heard about it. All of it. This bastard will regret the day he
was born..."
Rumors spread fast on a college campus. And Rob was some kind of
hive queen. All information reached her at an amazing speed. I
didn't know what to say, so I stayed quiet and hugged her back.
She sat with me and kept on talking about all kinds of stuff. She
wanted to distract me. I remained silent.
At 7:30, Kev returned from his job. Rob was still sitting by my
side and held her endless monologue.
"I'm ba..."
Kev had crossed the distance from the door to my bed in a blur.
He was kneeling before me. His face reflected my own pain. His
hand came close to the bruise, but Kev retracted it slowly,
afraid to hurt me.
"Who has done it?"
I looked at Kev. My tears had returned. I shook my head.
"It was Timothy MacFarland."
I turned to Rob. I had intended to glare at her, but couldn't
find the anger to do so. Kev jumped up.
"I will kill him!"
I grabbed Kev's arm.
"Don't."
I hadn't talked for hours. My voice was frail and almost too soft
to hear, but Kev froze in mid-movement. I realized in that moment
how much power I was having over him. A single word had stopped
this giant of a man. At the same time, I became aware where this
power was coming from: trust. That trust was mutual. Kev held the
same power over me. I brought his hand to my face and let my
bruised lip touch his skin.
"Don't, Kev. Indeed, you'd kill him, even if you don't intend to.
I need you here."
Kev sank back to his knees. Tears were now streaming down both
our faces. He laid his head into my lap. I let my fingers glide
through his soft hair.
"Leon, you don't deserve this. I wasn't there to protect you."
I made Kev look into my face.
"It wasn't your fault. Don't you dare assume responsibility for
this. Do you understand me?"
In a much softer voice I continued.
"I love you too much to let this happen."
I kissed him, ignoring the pain that seared through my lips.
"I'll kill him for you, Kev."
My ability to glare at Rob had returned.
"You are better than Timothy. You won't descend to his level."
That struck harder than any threat of expulsion or prison. Rob
continued in an uncharacteristic, low volume.
"Rumors have it that Nurse Garland has reported him."
"Hayden told her who attacked me."
"Hayden?"
Of course, Kev didn't know what had happened. I recounted what
had transpired in the library and the role of his team mates in
it.
"Hayden and Jaleel are cool guys. But I would have said that
about Tim if you had asked me an hour ago."
"Remember the celebration after the Hardwood Contest?"
My voice was meek.
"Sure."
"He threatened me."
"The funny face!"
I nodded.
"Why haven't you told me then?"
"I didn't want to hurt the team. I thought it unlikely to ever
meet him alone."
"Probability is not on your side then."
Kev and I turned to Rob. She shrugged. I looked into Kev's eyes.
"Can you forgive me?"
Kev's face showed pain again, after I had asked my question. He
caressed the healthy side of my face with the back of his hand.
"Can YOU forgive ME? That's the question. I should have known
better, should have seen what kind of man Tim is."
"You are even."
For once, I was grateful for Rob's habit to comment on
everything. We burst out laughing, the tension of the moment
broken. Kev and I looked at each other and we both realized:
there was nothing to forgive.

It turned out that the reporting by Nurse Garland was more than a
rumor. Timothy had been suspended with immediate effect. Three
days later an official hearing took place. Timothy, Hayden,
Jaleel and I had been summoned to the conference room, where
three professors, one administration clerk and three students had
to decide about Timothy's fate. I told them about the threat
after the contest and the event itself. Hayden and Jaleel
reported how they had found me. Hayden, with a determined look at
Timothy, made clear that he had reported him to Nurse Garland. It
was a nice gesture. Timothy remained silent when he was asked for
his reasons. To my amazement, the chairman of the hearing, one
Professor Layten I didn't knew, asked me what kind of punishment
I would find appropriate.
"Sir, I..."
I turned to Timothy. The coldness in his eyes which had haunted
me in my dreams was gone. He looked broken, almost pleading. I
had a feeling that determining the sentence was too much to ask
of me. I wasn't angry at him, not anymore. I felt pity. I looked
back at the chairman.
"Sir, I don't think that an expulsion is appropriate. I would
even allow Tim back on the team, if they accept him. That'll be
difficult, especially for my boyfriend. But if the team wants to
stand a chance at the national college championships, Timothy has
to participate. For punishment..."
I looked at Timothy again.
"... I suggest social work at the LGBT club here at college.
Perhaps he will see that we... fags... don't mean any harm to
him."
I was aware of the irony of my last sentence, but knew it had hit
bull's eye.
"Mr. MacFarland, it looks as if you have an advocate in Mr.
Fitzgerald. To be honest: I would have suggested expulsion to the
committee. Diversity is one of the main pillars this college has
been erected on. And you have violated this core principle by
assaulting Mr. Fitzgerald for his sexual preferences. But since
the victim does not press charges, I follow his suggestion: one
semester of social work at the discretion of the LGBT club. Are
there any dissenting votes?"
No-one objected.
"Be warned, Mr. MacFarland. Any further incident, however minor,
will lead to immediate expulsion. If the LGBT club expresses any
discontent with your work, Coach Derringer has offered, in his
pictorial manner of speaking, to kick your sorry ass from campus
himself. Do you accept the ruling of this committee, Mr.
MacFarland?"
"I do."
He looked to the ground, his voice weak.
On the way out of the conference room, Timothy approached me.
Hayden and Jaleel were standing near me and watched him with
vigilance.
"Thank you."
I nodded and he left. Hayden and Jaleel gave me an envelope, both
grinning insecurely. Inside was a `Get Well!' card with some
dumbbells on it. I felt like a fraud, because all I had was a
bruised lip. The entire bodybuilding team had signed the card.
Timothy's signature was missing.

The bruise on my lip had healed. The wound inside had not. I
wasn't afraid of Timothy anymore, but every time I left my room
alone there was an uneasy feeling nagging at me. Subtle, almost
too faint to realize, but a constant companion I had learned to
detest. I had declined the offer of visiting a counselor. I was
too ashamed to share these feelings with anyone but Kev. He would
listen, he would hold me, but when he was gone, the wound opened
again.

I had accompanied Kev to the national college championships which
took place in Huntington City, home of last year's winner.
Bergmont ranked on a respectable fourth place. After the
competition, Kev and I met at the boards around the posing area.
"Congratulations."
I gave Kev a quick peck on his cheek. I was beaming at him, but
he seemed not to be too enthused.
"Hey. Fourth place in a national competition is not that bad."
"That's not it."
His face sagged a little more, almost a tortured look. I touched
his cheek with my hand.
"What is it, Kev?"
"Don't freak out, ok?"
I slowly retracted my hand. Fear started to form a lump in my
stomach. I nodded.
"The guys want to do a celebration again. They would like you to
come with us."
"He will be there, won't he?"
My fear of Timothy had faded, but meeting him again, acting like
nothing has happened, seemed unreal, almost surrealistic.
Now it was Kev who simply nodded.
"I don't know."
My voice was soft. My head was hanging. It felt as if I was
letting down Kev. That hurt the most.
"The team wants to make up for what has happened. But if you
can't..."
"I'll come."
My head had shot up. The decision had been instant. No thinking
about it, no pining away in what-ifs and could-bes. Something had
started to change me and I had a strong suspicion that this
something was standing in front of me. Kev face lighted up,
beginning from his eyes.
"What doesn't kill me makes me strong. Confrontation therapy!"
I had raised my fist for effect. Perhaps if I pretended to be
confident, the real thing would follow. Kev chuckled, causing the
regular symptoms around my spine.
The celebration took place in a Greek restaurant in the city. Kev
and I arrived last, like the last time. The guys jumped up when
they saw me, but I motioned them to sit down again. I had
plastered a smile to my face which was as real as the decoration
of this place. Shaking hands would have meant to shake hands with
Timothy as well, so I opted for a wave. Kev and I were seated as
far away from Timothy as possible. Whether that had been arranged
for intentionally, wasn't clear to me. Nonetheless, I was glad
about it. The team members discussed today's events, but I stayed
silent most of the time. Kev's and my hand had found each other
under the table. Today, he was the one who had to squeeze mine.
 "Leon?"
I froze at the sound of his voice. He was standing behind me. I
had to close my eyes. I breathed in slowly and let go of the air
again.
"Leon, I would like to talk to you."
Kev turned to Timothy and opened his mouth to speak. I put both
our hands on Kev's knee, signaling him to remain silent. Still
not looking at him, I replied.
"Good. Talk."
"Can we go somewhere more private?"
The entire team had stopped their conversations. Everyone was
looking at either me or Timothy. It was Coach Derringer who spoke
out the obvious.
"That's not such a good idea, Tim."
"I won't even touch you, Leon. Please!"
He wouldn't harm me that was clear. I just didn't know whether I
wanted to talk to him. Curiosity won out. I got up.
"Outside?"
It was the most private place I could come up with.
"Sure."
The night outside was neither warm nor cold. It was one of those
nights which lingered on the door step between winter and spring.
"Leon. First, I want to thank you again for speaking out on my
behalf before the committee."
It was the first time I really looked at Timothy. His hair was
black as mine and as wild, his eyes a light brown. It was
astounding. I had looked into his eyes, had shivered at their
coldness, but I had not remembered their color. He was taller
than me, who wasn't, but not as tall as Kev. His muscular frame
was just a silhouette against the city lights. There was nothing
terrifying about him now.
"I am not a vengeful person."
It sounded colder than I had intended.
"Uh-huh. Second, I want to apologize for what I have done. I
can't give you any reasons, but not because I don't want to, I
can't. I don't know myself."
"And that's supposed to help me?"
"Leon, you have all right to hate me and you don't need to accept
my apology. I have been told my whole life how wrong it is to be
a..."
"Fag? Queer? Gay?"
He looked to the ground and nodded.
"I accept."
He looked into my eyes.
"I accept your apology."
I extended my hand. Timothy looked at it in terror.
"I promised not to touch you..."
"I won't tell anyone."
He raised his head to look into my face again. I started to
chuckle, which grew to a full out laughter soon. Timothy joined
in. Finally, he shook my hand.
"Would you like to join Kev and me at the table and tell us about
your work at the LGBT club?"
"Sure."
The table turned silent again when we returned.
"I didn't harm him."
My face was a mask of sincerity and I motioned in Timothy's
direction when I said it. It took the guys full three seconds to
realize that I was joking. When the laughter had subsided,
Timothy sat down with us. I gave Kev a look and a curt nod to
indicate that everything was alright. Timothy told Kev and me
about his work with the LGBT crew. He actually had started to
like it, even had made friends there.
It would take more time to heal, but the thorn had been removed
from my wound.

At last, Kev and I had made up our minds about the travelling
certificate from my parents. We had searched the web together.
That had taken longer than expected. First time, I had been
sitting on Kev's lap before my notebook. After a short time the
computer had been completely forgotten. Next tries included lying
on the bed, lying on the floor and standing at the desk. The
result had invariably been the same. We had then decided to make
love before looking for a place to spend the trip. That had done
the trick. We had discovered a nice hotel on Hawaii. Neither of
us had ever been there and the warm weather appealed to both of
us. Furthermore, a little rainbow flag icon was to be found in
the description, indicating a gay-friendly place.
It was Friday afternoon, the last Friday before summer term would
start. We were sitting in the airplane which was about to land.
The flight must have been a torture for Kev. The distance between
the seats wasn't nearly large enough for Kev to sit straight.
This plane had not been constructed for people his size. He had
folded himself together somehow to fit in. I had tried to
distract him by kissing his neck up and down while talking
sweetly. It had worked, but I could see his elation when the
plane had finally come to a hold and we were allowed to exit. The
next problem was only minor: two teenage girls greeted us with
kisses and leis. Kev's girl had a little struggle to get the lei
around his neck, a situation that was not helped by Kev still
being stiff from the plane. A small bus took the group of 16
guests to the hotel. Before taking us to our room, we were all
welcomed with a cocktail served in a pineapple. Kev and I got
engaged in a friendly chatter with a couple during the little
reception, Brady and Terry. Both were twenty-somethings, but
closer to their thirties. Brady was one head smaller than Kev
which still made him one of the tallest persons here. His built
was athletic and his chiseled face was framed by dark blond, wavy
hair that ran down to his shoulders. The color of Brady's eyes
was a cool grey. Brady was attractive for sure, GQ material.
Terry was his wife. She had approximately Brady's height which
was quite extraordinary for a woman. Her blond hair was straight
and gathered in a sloppy pony tail. Like Kev she had blue eyes,
but many shades darker than his. Though I wasn't an expert, her
bosom seemed enormous. Brady and Terry made up a nice couple.
Their cheerful manner was infective and they asked us to join
them for dinner at the hotel. Since we would have enough time for
just the two of us, we accepted.
After unpacking our stuff, we went for a little tour. Kev and I
had slung our arms around each other, walking side by side. We
decided to take a look at the beach. The sand was white and still
hot. The sun had begun to set, casting its red light on the palms
and the sea. The smell of hot sand and the sea were mingled
together in an exotic aroma. We took off our shoes and walked
barefoot in the sand. Most of the people had already left. We
attracted some looks, but those were of friendly curiosity and we
were already used to be the center of interest, at least for some
minutes. Our looks were too different for not to draw attention.
Kev and I strolled to the sea and let the water wash around our
feet. It was surprisingly warm.
"I apologize in advance."
"What..."
Kev picked me up and was holding me like a toddler. He started to
kiss my neck, slowly following up its line. Kev's firm body was
one with mine. His musk was added to the mixture of smells,
beguiling my senses. He continued kissing my jaw and my chin. His
lips had found mine. He nibbled softly at my lower lip, before
enclosing my mouth with his. His tongue asked for entrance, most
tender. I parted my lips and welcomed him with my own tongue.
Time melted away. We were at the center of our own universe,
nothing in it except the both of us. Kev put me down with
greatest care.
"Couldn't resist."
He grinned slyly.
"No need for apologies."
I looked at him and was overwhelmed by my own feelings. I
bear-hugged him, wanted to be as close as possible, buried my
face into his chest. His arms closed around my back. I shivered
when I became aware of their strength, but now they were holding
me in infinite tenderness.
"I love you, Kev."
"I love you, Leon."
Barely louder than a breath.
When we arrived back at the hotel, it was already time to get
dressed for the dinner. Brady and Terry had reserved a table for
four persons. They were already waiting for us, though we were
early. We greeted each other. Soon we were talking lively,
getting to know each other.
"You two are what, friends?"
Brady asked after the basic information of age, job and home had
been exchanged.
"We are a little more than just friends."
Both of us grinned at Kev's remark.
"Boyfriends then? Cool."
"You are a really cute couple. Cute by contrast."
Terry's smile was genuine.
"So you don't mind us being gay?"
"Nah. We are, uh, a non-conventional couple ourselves."
The slyness in Brady's grin rivaled with Kev's.
"In how far? Oh sorry."
Curiosity killed the cat, but I couldn't resist.
"No prob. We have an open relationship, sex with other partners,
you know. And we are not too picky about the gender, either."
I hadn't seen that coming.
"Whatever floats your boat."
I shrugged. I often mocked about the Bergmont diversity, but it
was one of the reasons I had chosen that college in the first
place. It suited my view of the world.
"Now I owe Terry a cocktail..."
Kev and I looked at each other. The wrinkles on Kev's fore head
mirrored my own puzzlement.
"We made a bet. I'd said both of you would run away screaming
when you hear about our, uh, arrangement. Terry said you
wouldn't. The loser has to buy the winner a cocktail."
"You don't seem too upset about losing."
"Two more possible victims... just kidding."
I wasn't too sure about that, but smiled. Knowing the different
shades of Kev's smiles, it was safe to assume that he had similar
thoughts than I had. But we stayed away from this topic the rest
of the evening. It had been nice to talk to another couple,
something we didn't do at college. I wondered why.
Back in our hotel room, I was waiting for Kev to return from the
bathroom. Kev was completely naked when he entered the room, as I
had anticipated. I had gotten rid of my clothes as well. My lips
were curved into a suggestive grin. With a small sprint I crossed
the room and jumped at Kev, slinging my arms around his neck and
my legs around his waist. He caught me with his arms as well.
Before Kev could say anything I brought my mouth close to his
ear. In a breathy voice I did my little confession.
"Shall I tell you what I've done? My naughty butt hole asked me
to lubricate my finger and shove it in. That greedy thing wanted
even more... a second finger... a third finger."
I moved my head back, so that I could look into Kev's face. I was
pouting.
"It's still asking for more."
I sighed for effect.
"Ah, there is something that could scratch that itch."
My words had not failed. Kev's cockhead was touching the crack of
my ass. I brought my mouth back to his ear.
"Pound me hard, I've been naughty."
Kev was guiding his dick with his hand while I lowered myself
down onto it. I craved that moment when the head slipped into me
for the first time. Pain and pleasure converged into a single
emotion. A shockwave of desire propagated through my body and my
mind. I had learned to harness this sensation. It allowed me to
fully take Kev at once, no need for tedious pauses. I slid down
the entire length in one smooth movement. Kev grabbed me by the
ass and lifted me up, just to let me glide down again. He didn't
seem to even notice my weight. His breathing had become faster
and sweat covered his entire body. I buried my face into his neck
and let my tongue taste the saltiness of his skin. In small licks
first, but then my tongue grew more bold. Kev's musky aroma and
the sensation of his sweat magnified each other. My hands, still
slung around his neck, felt Kev's muscles work, felt the rhythm
of tightening and relaxing. He had increased the pace and
intensity of his pounding. Kev growled. I had lured the animal
again. It was time to unleash it.
"Wouldn't you like to do to my face what you are doing to my ass
now? Shoving that cock down my throat without any mercy?"
I looked into Kev's eyes. They pleaded at me. His growls came in
short bursts.
"Bed. Now."
He lifted me of his rod and threw me onto the bed. I turned onto
my back and let my head hang down the bed's edge. I opened my
mouth and looked at Kev, inviting him to ravage me. He rammed his
cock in, one quick movement till his pubes were in my face and
his balls slapped my forehead. His hands were holding both sides
of my head, fixing it in place. The dark smell of Kev's groin
entered my nose, making me shiver. In quick and long strokes he
pummeled away at my throat, his balls hitting me over and over
again. I could feel his cock swell, before he came. He didn't
bother to pull it out. Fully down my throat, he pumped his jizz
into me. When he finally retracted his monster, I licked at the
last drops of cum on it. I wanted to taste him, at least a little
bit. The animal wasn't done yet. He went for my dick, swallowing
it whole. Kev's tongue caressed the underside of my cock, while
the muscles of his throat massaged its head. I didn't last long,
before I unloaded spurt after spurt into Kev's mouth. When my
twitches had subsided, Kev let go of my dick and kissed me with
untamed lust, almost violently. I could taste my own cum on his
tongue. The kiss became more tender, the animal faded and the
gentle giant returned. I had once said that I was fluent in the
language of the animal. My grasp of it had expanded. I was able
to speak in verse now. I was poet and poem at the same time. Kev
was my pen and poetry itself.
Next morning, I woke up still cuddled into Kev's arms. I laid my
head onto his chest, careful not to wake him up, and listened to
the steady beating of his heart. I reveled in the peace that
sound brought me, my eyes closed.
"Good morning."
His voice rumbled in his chest.
"I didn't mean to wake you."
He pulled me up till our lips could touch. His tongue licked at
my upper lip, just brushing it. My hand trailed up and down Kev's
arm, probing once more the paradox of its firmness and its
softness.
We had to leave bed, if we wanted to get breakfast. We joined
Brady and Terry again.
"Tonight, there'll be a Luau. You'll be here?"
Brady's sly grin was an inseparable part of his character
"Sure. That'll be fun. Kev?"
"If I get to see you in a hula skirt..."
Kev was talking to me and was obviously engaged in a slyness
contest with Brady.
"We'll see about that."
Brady and Terry laughed out. The rest of the breakfast we talked
about our plans for today. The couple would do a tour of the
island, we had decided to go the beach.
After breakfast, I excused myself for the restroom. When I
returned, I saw Kev and Brady standing together at the hotel bar.
Brady had a look on his face that spoke of disappointment, his
eyes directed to the ground. He looked up in my direction and
with a short nod to Kev he left. My stomach cramped when I
realized what I had observed.
Kev and I had found ourselves a nice place at the beach, right
under a palm tree. We had helped each other with the sun lotion,
now lying on our sides looking at each other.
"What's up, Leon? Something's wrong, I can see."
His hand touched my cheek.
"I saw Brady and you together."
"And?"
"He was hitting on you."
My stomach cramped again. I was sure Kev would decline any offer.
Still the mere thought of the possibility to lose him was
devastating for me. Kev began to laugh.
"Don't laugh at me."
Both hands were now touching my cheeks.
"I'm not laughing at you. It's just... he wasn't exactly hitting
on me."
"Huh?"
"He was asking me to... um... borrow you from me."
"He did what?"
Kev laughed again.
"If anyone has a reason to be jealous, it is me. Terry and Brady
follow some codex which includes asking a partner before going
for a victim. I hope I didn't overstretch my authorities when I
declined in your name."
"Me?"
I still couldn't believe it. If anyone had to choose between Kev
and me, how could his choice be Leon Fitzgerald?
"Leon. I've told you before: you are the most attractive man I've
ever met. Of course, other men want you."
This idea was new to me. I've never considered myself handsome or
attractive. Furthermore, no-one had let me know before.
"I only want one man to want me."
Kev surprised me with a kiss, his lips enclosing mine.
"This man is completely lost for you."
"And I'm crazy about this man."
"He's one lucky dog."
"I hope he won't be wagging his tail when I do this."
I straddled Kev's stomach and let my body slump on his chest. I
let my hands glide up his arms, over his shoulders and to his
face. While doing so, I was planting kisses on his chest. When my
hands had reached their destination, I moved my body up till our
lips could meet. I moved down again and rested on him.
"I'm sorry."
"What for?"
"Being jealous."
My voice was meek.
"It shows me you care."
His arms crossed behind my back.
"But if you insist on being punished."
Quickly, Kev got up, holding me pressed against his body. He
shifted me to his right arm and let me hang down from his hip.
The ocean was approaching fast and I giggled. When Kev was
knee-deep into the water, he rearranged me into the position in
which we had started our sprint for the sea, only a little
higher. He planted his mouth on mine, still running. Suddenly he
lunged forwards and both of us immersed into the water, our lips
locked in the kiss. A feeling of intimacy rippled through my
mind, since we were breathing each other's air. Stars were
already bursting in my vision before we broke the surface again,
both of us panting.
"The punishment has been enforced."
I kissed Kev one more time, tasting the saltiness of the sea on
his lips.
Eventually, we returned to our place at the beach, dried each
other and put on another layer of sun lotion. We laid down for a
sunbath, holding hands. After a short while, a shadow was cast
over us and I opened my eyes. A small, old lady, perhaps in her
seventies, was standing before us. Her face was wrinkled and bore
a friendly smile. Despite her age, her eyes were sparkling in a
bright green that reminded me of the color of my own eyes. She
was wearing a white summer hat with a large rim and a bath suit
with floral decors. In her hands, she was holding a jar of
pickles.
"Honey, you look like you could help us with our predicament.
Henry, my husband, and I tried our best, but the manufacturer did
a little too much for the freshness of this."
She chuckled and extended the hand with the jar in Kev's
direction.
"Of course, ma'am."
Kev sat up, took the jar and with the slightest effort removed
the lid.
"Thank you so much, honey. What's a beach picnic without those?"
She chuckled again and planted a kiss on Kev's cheek.
"No problem, ma'am."
Kev smiled back at her.
"My name's Estelle, honey. You two, one can see that you belong
together."
Kev and I looked at each other, shock on our faces. Estelle
laughed.
"I may be old, but I'm not a narrow-minded prune. Two men or not,
you are meant to be together."
She went back to her place and joined her husband who gave us a
short wave of gratitude.
When I had recovered from that surprising turn of events, I
looked at Kev.
"Seems like I have reason to be jealous."
I hinted at his cheek. Kev rumbled a laugh. Two thoughts crossed
my mind. First, it was nice to see that there were people,
strangers, who were not afraid of Kev, who could look beyond his
intimidating form and see the tender man he was. Second, I
pondered about what Estelle had said. I looked at the two who
were feeding each other with sandwiches and pickles. Their love
had lasted for centuries, I assumed. I turned my head towards
Kev. He was looking into my eyes, a hint of a smile playing on
his lips. He must have been thinking the same thought: opposite
of me sat the man whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life
with.

We had changed for the Luau. Kev looked great in the hula skirt.
"My Tiki warrior."
He flexed his biceps and grinned.
"Kev come to get best looking mate for him. Choose this one."
He said it in a low rumble, grabbed me and hung me over his
shoulder. I laughed. He put me down again in a gentle movement.
We met Brady and Terry at the bar. A group of locals were already
performing a dance show. The presence of Brady felt a little
awkward, now that I knew what he had asked from Kev. That feeling
intensified when he looked at me.
"Really a pity that you don't want to. You are such a cutie."
I had to try hard to keep my face blank.
"Hey, no need to worry. I'll keep my hands off you."
I managed a hollow smile.
"Do you grant me at least one dance?"
The dance group had invited the guests to join them. I looked at
Kev. He grinned and gave me a short nod that no one but me had
noticed.
"Okay, Brady."
He and I joined the other guests on the dance floor, Terry and
Kev followed. Each time Kev's and my gaze met, we smiled at each
other.
"I wish both of you all the best. No-one can say that Brady
Waynard is a sour loser."
I laughed and thanked him.
The rest of the evening went by in a rush, as did the next
morning. We exchanged contact data with Brady and Terry. All too
soon, it was Sunday afternoon and we were on the plane back. My
parents had chosen a present that Kev and I would never forget.

Despite the day to day business of college, training and spa, Kev
and I always found time for a little romance. Small things, like
eating in our room by candlelight or renting a boat to spent the
day on the nearby lake, but the love behind them gave them
gravity and significance. It was almost June now and even after
six month of being a couple my attraction to Kev hadn't waned.
Quite the contrary.
Kev had just returned from his job at the spa and was holding a
flyer.
"The Rocky Horror fan club does another show."
He handed me the slip of paper.
"This time they do a costume contest."
I looked up from the leaflet.
"They often do."
"Wanna go?"
"Sure. Why not."
"With costumes?"
 Kev had surprised me with his proposal.
"You're sure that you want to wear nothing but golden swimming
trunks and boots?"
I realized what my costume would look like.
"And I'd be dressed in a corsage, nylons and suspenders."
"You've got the legs for it."
Kev smirked. I had to laugh. He had thrown my own words back at
me.
"If you go, I'll go."
I extended my hand. Kev shook it.
"Then it's a deal."
I hadn't considered how embarrassing the shopping for the costume
would be. I had asked my mother, but her shop wasn't specialized
in this kind of underwear. A trip to the city was inevitable. The
course of events was the same in every shop. A friendly salesgirl
would approach me and ask what I was looking for. I would state
my request and then the question for the size of my girlfriend
would come up. The shy answer of `Approximately my size.' would
result in a short pause, a pitiful smile and then a nice
selection of lingerie. The explanation of these clothes being
part of a costume would invariably be answered with `Of course.'
accompanied by a wink. At last, I may have lost my dignity, but I
had one hell of a dress. Kev and I had decided not to show each
other's costume in advance. He would be surprised.
On the Friday night of the show, the greatest of humiliations was
still to come: I had to ask Rob to help me with the make-up.
"I knew it was only a matter of time before this would happen,
little one."
Rob had a little too much fun for my taste. I glowered at her.
"Do you know what you are doing?"
I hadn't seen Rob wear any make-up so far.
"Each and every of my cousins is a cosmetician. I've learnt one
or two tricks. Don't bitch around, little bitch."
I took her a full hour to complete it, but the result was
breathtaking. In the mirror before me, Frank-N-Furter was staring
back at me.
"Nice job."
I whispered.
"Told you so, little one."
I was already wearing the costume, but had dressed a sweatshirt
and jeans over it. I sneaked back into our room, hoping not to
meet anyone. It would be hard to explain the make-up without the
costume. I had to evade two guys in the stair case, but made it
back unnoticed. Kev had already left for the changing room in the
showers. I had gotten rid of the normal clothes and had just
finished some minor adjustments to my suspenders when Kev entered
the room. He had straightened his curly hair somehow and was
wearing a golden brief with matching golden boots.
"Wow."
We said simultaneously and grinned at each other.
"This time there will be no need to wear a badge."
"No, Rocky, definitely not."
We were lucky that the day had been very warm and the night
promised to be mild as well. I was weary when we left the room
and we attracted some strange looks by the people in and around
the dorm. But the closer we came to the cinema, the more persons
in costumes crossed our path. There was a wild display of Brads,
Janets, Riff-Raffs, Franks, Rockies, Magentas and Columbias. A
few had dressed up as the narrator and one person in a wheelchair
was disguised as Dr. von Scott.
"Are you here as a couple?"
The question of the student passing out the cards seemed a little
too curious for my taste, but we answered it truthfully. We got
name tags, but the role wasn't written on it this time. Kev had
to attach the tag to his briefs which made me grin. Inside, a
party was already going on. The fan club had prepared a little
buffet and offered drinks. Music from the movie was playing in
the background. The decoration followed the theme of the Rocky
Horror Picture Show and gave the room the charm of a haunted
castle. My insecurity was gone, now that almost everyone was
dressed up as someone else. Kev and I enjoyed ourselves. After an
hour, one of the fan club members entered a little stage and
addressed the party guests.
"Ladies and gentlemen, our jury is confronted with a very hard
task this time. You have outdone yourselves."
Applause roared through the room.
"We have decided on three duos from the movie, but the final
decision is still to be made."
Another round of cheers followed.
"The nominees are: Kathy and Warren as Janet and Brad."
The couple joined the guy on the stage and was greeted with
applause and catcalls.
"Next couple: Desiree and Carl as Magenta and Riff-Raff."
Again the welcome was very noisy.
"And last but not least: Leon and Kev as Frank-N-Furter and
Rocky."
I realized it with a start: the funny question of the guy with
the cards. He had asked us whether we would like to join the
contest, though not using as many words. The crowd was already
cheering, it was too late to back out. Kev and I looked at each
other with encouraging smiles. I took Kev's hand and we both
entered the stage.
"So, ladies and gentlemen. The jury has decided. The envelope
please."
Another student joined us and handed the host the envelope he had
asked for.
"And the winners are..."
He made a pause for drama. The crowd was silent.
"Frank and Rocky, Leon and Kev!"
The room roared of applause again. The two other couples
congratulated us and left the stage. We were handed a small
trophy with a plaque stating that we were the winners of the
`Only Original Bergmont Rocky Horror Picture Show Costume
Contest'.
"It is a cherished tradition that the winners of our contest do a
little performance."
The crowd started to chant `Playback! Playback!'. Kev and I
looked at each other again, this time worry on our faces. We
hadn't prepared anything.
"I think `I can make you a man' suits your costumes? What do you
think?"
We nodded, not having much of a choice. The host warned us that
the two parts of the song from the movie had been cut into one
piece. Since our entire show would be played by ear, this
wouldn't make much difference.
Soon Kev and I were standing on the stage alone and the first
notes of the song were playing. I had seen the movie often enough
to rip off the performance of Tim Curry, rubbing myself up and
down Kev's body. But the further we came into the song the more I
dared to enter a personal touch here and there. Kev was
brilliant, first, playing shy and flinching at my touches, later
flexing and posing with confidence. The song ended in a distorted
version of the wedding march. I jumped into Kev's arms and he
carried me to the back of the stage, his back to the audience. We
smirked at each other. For an improvisation, we had pulled off an
amazing show. The party guests seemed to share my assessment, as
they were clapping their hands and cheering ecstatically.
Kev and I kissed on the stage. For the fraction of a second, the
entire room went silent. Then the roaring returned with a
vengeance accompanied by catcalls.
It was time for the movie. During the Time Warp scene, everyone
wanted to dance with Kev and me. These were our fifteen minutes
of fame and we enjoyed them.
Later that evening, back in our room, we played out the scenes
that were only hinted at in the movie...

The next morning, we did our running training as usual. Kev's
predictions had come true. I was already outperforming Kev and
had to hold back to not leave him behind. He didn't mind at all
and was very proud of what we had achieved together. After
showering, we went to the cafeteria for breakfast.
We hadn't seen this coming. When we entered the dining hall, we
were greeted by cheers and more catcalls. I was confused. Not all
of these people could have probably been at the party.
Nonetheless, Kev and I waved back at the crowd with a smile. The
situation cleared up when a fellow student approached us with a
hardcopy of today's college blog entry and asked for autographs.
We had made the campus media. We asked another student if he
would show us the blog on his laptop. A small series of pictures
had been posted, showing scenes of our performance and the kiss.
Kev and I burst out laughing every time we looked at each other.
It seemed as if our fifteen minutes of fame had been extended to
a full half hour. A tangent thought entered my mind when I became
aware of the full extent of the acceptance around us: the wound
that Timothy had inflicted on my soul had healed. The fear had
gone without me realizing it. I kissed a surprised Kev.

It was Thanksgiving again. This year we would spend it with my
family. Christopher had wrecked the nerves of Marc and my sister
when he had learned that he would see Kev again. He and Kev the
Rabbit were still inseparable. Kev and I had arrived on
Wednesday. When Tiff and her family arrived on Thursday morning,
Christopher ran to Kev and hugged his leg. Kev picked him up and
the little man planted a kiss on Kev's cheek, beaming over his
entire face. My little nephew whispered into Kev's ear.
"I am three years old now. I know you are not a giant, but I
think you are cool."
"And I think you are cool, too."
Kev put him down and now Christopher had time for his
grandparents. But Mom and Dad didn't mind, they loved Kev and
Chris too much for any misgivings.
The morning and the afternoon whizzed by in preparation for the
feast. We had helped Mom with the turkey and the other treats and
Kev had accompanied Dad for some last minute shopping. The entire
day I had been nervous and had checked the pocket of my jeans
over and over again. Feeling the smooth surface of its content
had given me enough strength to carry on.
In the evening, the family started to gather in the dining room.
Mom approached me.
"Everything is prepared, darling. Little Chris has kept him away
from the living room, that cunning rascal."
I tried to smile, but I could only grimace.
"Leon, don't be nervous. It'll be alright."
She caressed my cheek and I grabbed her hand.
"Thank you, Mom."
Her smile was genuine.
We joined the others in the dining room. I had to use all my
strength to act as usual, knowing that Kev would realize any
irregularity. Though I wasn't hungry at all, I pretended to eat
with pleasure. Though my mind was racing, I participated in the
friendly banter. Though my heart was beating fast, my outer
appearance was calm. Dessert was finished and according to the
script my Dad addressed me.
"Leon, could you please fetch a bottle of wine from the cellar?"
"Which one?"
"The red one, last shelf to the right."
I rose from my chair, but instead of heading for the cellar, I
went to the living room. I had exactly 5 minutes. Then the script
demanded my mother to send Kev for the lighter she had last seen
in the living room. More time would have raised suspicions about
my whereabouts. I quickly changed into the clothes which my Mom
had folded onto the table: the black cord suit, the white shirt
and the grey tie. Moreover, she had arranged candles all over the
room which I lit. I checked one last time the cubic shape which
was now resting in the inside pocket of my jacket. 4 minutes 32
seconds. That was the exact time I had needed for these tasks. 28
seconds. That was the exact time left, seconds that stretched
out. Each of them became an indeterminate length in the
continuity of time.
"Sure, Dolores. On the table?"
A chair moved along carpet.
"Yes, darling."
Steps came closer. The door knob was turned. The door opened.
My gentle giant was standing just inside the room, had stopped
dead in his tracks when he had taken in the scenery, when he had
seen me. I closed the distance between us and dropped to my
knees. I got the small box and opened it. Two plain golden rings
were inside. I looked up into his eyes where tears had welled up.
"One year ago, it was you who was brave enough to make the first
step. Today it is my honor to make the next. But courage? No, it
does not take any bravery. What I am going to ask you is a
necessity for me, like breathing. My life would end without you,
because you are my life, its very essence. In mathematics, one
and one is not necessarily two. With you and me, one and one has
become one again. Kevin Schneider, I ask you, do you want to
marry me?"
Kev dropped to his knees as well. He seized my hands, the rings
still in my right.
"Your question doesn't take courage, my answer doesn't, either.
Leon Fitzgerald, all the time that is left in this universe, I
want to spend it with you. Yes, all I want is to marry you."
Kev released my hands. I took the larger of the two rings and put
it on the ring finger of his left hand. He did likewise with the
other ring on my hand. We closed the distance between us until
our lips met. I put my arms around Kev's neck and he closed his
arms over the small of my back. Tears started to flow down our
cheeks. Small fingers wiped away the tears from my face and Kev's
face. Our lips parted. Christopher was standing besides us.
"Uncle Leon, Uncle Kev. No crying. It's a lucky day!"
We smiled at the little man. Now I saw the rest of my family
standing in the corridor. Tears were glistening on their cheeks,
too.
"You have heard, Christopher. It's a lucky day!"
Mom stormed towards us and hugged both of us while we were still
kneeling on the floor. Dad, Tiffany and Marc joined her embrace.
We were surrounded. Kev and I smirked at each other.
Dad opened a bottle of champagne and we celebrated the whole
night, me being in a trance-like state of mind.
It wasn't before the next morning that I fully realized the
events of the evening, though I had initiated them. Kev was
spooning me, his arms around my chest. My eyes fell on the ring
on Kev's finger. I put my hand next to his, tiny in comparison.
Kevin Schneider, my fiancé.
We were engaged. Nothing had changed, but everything was
different. Our marriage would be the outer sign of what had
become a simple fact of my life: Kev and I would stay together
and love each other forever.
"Good morning, my soon-to-be husband."
Kev's voice rumbled in his chest. He planted a kiss on the top of
my head. I turned around to face him. We kissed softly. A thought
crossed my mind.
"Guess how much I love you?"
It had never hit me before how much Kev and I resembled the two
nutbrown hares from the children's book.
"We love each other all the way up to the moon and back."
I cuddled Kev as closely as possible, allowing no distance
between the two of us.

The next four months were full of planning, organizing and
executing. My parents had insisted on paying for the wedding
feast. The ceremony was to be held in their garden, as was the
party. A close friend of my Dad, who worked for the civil
registry office, would marry us. My home state fully recognized
same-sex-marriages. Unfortunately, most of the other states
didn't. It wasn't very romantic, but Dad had suggested concluding
mutual agreements covering aspects of the marriage like hospital
visitation rights. Those would be legally binding in all states.
We kept referring to those agreements as our marriage contract,
though that wasn't the exact term and drove Dad mad. There were
some touchy points in this contract.
"I don't want your money, Leon."
"After the marriage there will be no such thing as `my money',
Kev. Marital community of property."
I couldn't understand Kev's resistance. That special agreement
would only expand a legal fact in this state to the other states.
"I'm no gold-digger."
Kev was sitting at his desk and stared to the ground, his voice
low. I sat down onto his lap and lifted his chin up, making him
look into my eyes.
"Kev, I know. You would marry me, if I had nothing but the
clothes I wear."
"Damn right."
"So what is it?"
"I can't give you anything."
"Kev, this isn't about getting even. There are so many things
that you offer to me that I can't return. The feeling of resting
in your strong arms, the absolute security..." and laughing I
added "... being carried around."
"Those aren't worth much."
"Are you kidding me? Those are the most precious things in my
world."
Our lips met in a deep kiss.
Eventually, Kev accepted that part of the agreement. But his face
was priceless when he learned afterwards that my picket fence
fund amounted to $75000, being every spare penny saved from my
tenth birthday on.
Another subject which caused a little unrest was the choice of
name. The state allowed to keep your family names, but also
offered to choose a common one. Kev had stated that he wanted to
assume my name.
"Kev, are you sure?"
"My name's Schneider on paper only. All ties that bind me to my
family are severed."
"It's the last thing that connects you to them."
"Exactly. I've got the unique opportunity to choose a new family
for myself. And becoming a Fitzgerald is probably the best choice
one can have."
Kevin and Leon Fitzgerald.
Yes, that sounded right.
We decided on a guest list. My family was set. I wanted Rob and
Josh to be there. Kev proposed to invite his bodybuilding team. I
made sure that the invitation included Christopher. Coach
Derringer and Prof. Smyth were the next people who came to our
minds. Kev asked whether he may invite some people from the
shelter he had lived in. We had talked about visiting the shelter
on various occasions, but we had never actually made it there. Of
course, they would be welcome at our marriage. We even included
Brady and Terry on the list; they had taught us one or two
lessons about jealousy. It was a pity that we had no way to
contact Estelle and Henry. It would have been a nice touch to
show Estelle that her assessment of our relationship had been
correct. Laughing, I proposed to include Brittany, the ticket
vendor at the cinema. It would give her the hots. Kev came up
with the two police officers whom I had put to the flight.
No member of Kev's family had made the list. It was his decision
and I respected it.

The day of our marriage had finally arrived. It was 11 o'clock.
My parents had prepared a reception before the ceremony and many
of the guests were already scattered in the house and the garden,
talking and laughing. All the people we had invited had accepted.
Kev and I still were in `normal' clothing. We had extended the
superstitious notion of not seeing each other in our wedding
suits to both grooms. Mom had taken care that both of us had
something new, something old, something borrowed and something
blue. Furthermore, we had sixpence pieces to put in our shoes.
Even mathematicians weren't immune to popular beliefs held by
their mother.
A special moment for me was when the bodybuilding team arrived.
Timothy embraced me without the slightest resentment and I was
overjoyed to realize that I wasn't holding any grudge against
him.
The arrival of Avery and Susan, the couple leading the shelter,
was as moving for Kev as for me. Kev had once said that these two
had been his only family for a long time. Avery, an Afro-American
in his mid-thirties and almost as tall as Kev, greeted both of us
with bear-hugs. I had a suspicion where Kev had acquired his
habit.
"Take good care of Kev, Leon. If there is one boy who deserves
it, then it is him."
"Oh, Avery. Don't scare him. Look at both of them and you'll see
they love each other."
Susan, also in her mid-thirties, probably of Irish descent and of
my height, embraced us, too.
I was sure that everyone on the list had arrived, but the door
bell rang again. Kev was absorbed in a lively conversation with
Avery and Susan. I smiled to myself, because happiness radiated
from him, giving him a warm glow. I didn't want to interrupt and
decided to answer the door alone.
An old man and a woman around Mom's age were waiting outside. I
hadn't seen them in my whole life, but one look into the sapphire
eyes of the woman and I knew who was standing in front of me.
"Mrs. Schneider, Mr. Schneider."
I was in shock and couldn't say more than just their names.
"You must be Leon, mein Sohn?"
I nodded, still unable to form words. A hand touched my shoulder
and I turned around. My Mom was standing behind me.
"I've invited them. You may not understand, Leon. But when one of
your children or grandchildren gets married, at least, you want
to have the choice of being part of it."
The sound of glass shattering interrupted her. Kev was standing
besides us.
"Mom... Opa...."
Mr. Schneider was smiling, but his eyes glistened of tears. Kev's
mother had brought her hands to her face, her tears flowing
freely. Time had frozen.
Suddenly, Kev lunged forwards and gathered the two in his arms,
pressing them to his body. He was crying now. I sought the hand
of my Mom behind me, my cheeks wet. I could feel her sobs as
well. Kev released his grandfather and his mom.
"Dad?"
Mr. Schneider shook his head. Kev's mom looked at him.
"He didn't want me to come, either. It was time to stand up
against him for once."
It was implied in her voice that her decision to come here
included the decision not to return. After a short silence,
something occurred to Kev.
"Oh. Leon. This is Emily Schneider, my Mom. And this is Hans
Schneider, my grandpa. Opa, Mom, meet Leon Fitzgerald, my
husband... at least soon he will be... and his mother, Dolores
Fitzgerald."
We shook hands and finally invited Kev's mom and grandpa into our
house. The effect was strange, but not unknown to me: the more
you had to say to each other, the longer you hadn't seen someone,
the more difficult it was to find a beginning.
"Kevin, mein Junge, today is your day. We'll have time to talk
later. Not today, perhaps not tomorrow, but the time will come. I
just want you to know that I love you, I always have."
I knew Mr. Schneider for a couple of minutes, but I already liked
him. Mrs. Schneider seized Kev's hands.
"Yes, Kevin. I won't ask you to forgive me. I've been a coward
when I should have been strong and should have protected my baby.
But today, I just want to see you happy."
I put my hands on theirs and smiled. There wasn't much that I
could say, but I wanted Kev and his mom to know I would be there
for both of them. Kev looked at me and I could feel his love for
me, shining through his eyes.
"It's time for you both to get dressed. I'll see for the guests
to gather in the garden in half an hour. Mr. and Mrs. Schneider,
you will of course join my husband Anthony and me in the front
row."
Mom shoved us in the direction of the staircase while issuing
orders to everyone who was unlucky enough to be too close to her.
Chuckling, Kev and I made our way up.
"Everything alright, now that your mom and your grandpa are
here?"
"I am glad that they came. I have heard what Dolores said. She is
probably right."
Kev's fore head wrinkled in thought.
"They must care for me if they are here. Weird thing is I still
love them."
I touched his cheek.
"That's not weird. Kev, you don't know how not to love. And
that's one of the reasons why I love you."
Kev pulled me into a hug, words unnecessary. He let go of me and
grinned.
"If we don't hurry, death will do us part by the hands of Dolores
before we even get married."
We kissed a last time as fiancés and went to the two rooms Mom
had prepared. Kev and I had each decided on a best man and a best
woman. My choice had been Josh and Rob; Kev had chosen Avery and
Susan.
On the bed of my old room, Mom had draped my tuxedo. It was
classic, black with dovetails not too long. A white shirt and a
grey bow tie completed my outfit. The shiny black leather shoes
suited it perfectly. I had just finished donning the trousers and
the shirt when someone knocked at my door. It opened, giving view
to Rob and Josh.
"Come in, you two."
"I had hoped to see you nude, little one."
Rob was grinning.
"You wish."
"Been there, done that."
Josh made his smug face that could be mistaken with contempt. But
I was close enough to him to know better. I had never seen Josh
in a suit before. Josh had Rob's size. He was wearing his dark
blonde hair shorter than he had during his college time. I had
never found an appropriate term to describe the color of his
eyes. Gold, honey, amber were all a little off.
"Sorry, Josh. We haven't had much time to talk, have we?"
"Don't worry, Leon. You have other things on your mind today.
Your problems may be weighing way over 225 pounds, don't they?"
The smug face was now supplemented by `The Smirk'.
"Shut up, Josh. It is my exclusive privilege to mock about barn
boy."
"You better both shut up, if you don't want to enjoy the
exclusive privilege of being smashed by his 100-pounds-groom."
We all burst out laughing.
"Leon. I don't know Kev. But I know you and if you have chosen
him, he must be one hell of a guy."
"And he's hung like a horse."
Josh and I both looked at Rob.
"What? It's true. The Rocky costume didn't leave much to the
imagination."
We couldn't help but to laugh again.
"Who needs enemies, if he has got friends like you?"
I had finished dressing.
"You look great, little one."
"Indeed, Leon."
I looked at my friends and I loved them. This very moment, I
couldn't help it.

In the garden, white chairs had been arranged, forming an aisle
which led to a dais. On the dais, a white bow had been erected,
decorated with flowers. For Kev and me a step had been built
before the rostrum to stand on. It was a sunny day, some white
clouds floated across the sky. All the guests were already seated
while Mr. Whitmore, Dad's friend who would perform the ceremony,
was standing on the dais. Kev was waiting for me at the end of
the aisle. I had been trembling of excitement on my way down to
the garden, but now seeing Kev calmed me. He was the man I wanted
to spend the rest of my life with, so there was no reason to be
nervous. Like me, he was wearing a tuxedo. Its color was a dark
grey, contrasted by a white shirt and completed by a black bow
tie. He looked breathtaking. When Kev saw me, his lips formed the
word `Wow!'. I answered him with a silent `I love you.'. All the
guests were either looking at him or at me. It felt weird to be
the center of so much attention. Christopher who was looking cute
in his suit carried a small pillow with the rings on it. A string
quartet began a solemn melody and the guests rose from their
seats. Chris started to lead the procession. Kev and I followed.
Behind us Rob, Susan, Avery and Josh formed the end. Little
Christopher was absorbed in his task, a slight frown hinting at
his concentration. He placed the pillow on a pillar right beside
Mr. Whitmore who smiled at my dutiful nephew. Kev and I ascended
the step while our friends assumed positions left and right of
us. The strings finished the piece and the guests sat down again.
Mr. Whitmore began to speak.
"Today, we have all gathered to unite these two young men. During
the talks we had in preparation for this ceremony, I was
delighted to see how dedicated these two are for each other
despite their age, how abundant their love for each other is. A
marriage built on these foundations is sure to prosper. But a
marriage is more than the outer sign of love. It is a promise to
take care of your partner, to stand by him even in difficult
times. I have no doubt that Kevin and Leon will succeed in this.
They have prepared their own vows to express their love for each
other."
Mr. Whitmore nodded to Kev with a smile.
"Leon, you have once told me about a mathematical definition, an
essential singularity. You explained some interesting properties
to me, in terms even a bodybuilding jock like me can understand."
A small chuckle ran through the audience.
"Essential singularities are fascinating places. A function
assumes every possible value close to it. And that is what
happens to me when I am close to you. Around you I can be
everything. I can be everything including myself and still I can
be sure of your love. I want you to know that you can be as sure
of my love. I will be yours forever."
I had to swallow away the lump that had formed in my throat, had
to blink away the tears that wanted to form in my eyes.
"Kev. On the day of your arrival, I felt lonely. This feeling was
only a dim memory the very moment you were standing before me. I
was attracted to you at once, an attraction that grew into love
in no time. I remember that you feared I would be intimidated by
you. But I was never afraid of you. I saw from the very beginning
that you are caring and loving, a gentle giant. And best of all:
now you are my gentle giant. My love for you grows every day and
I am intimidated by only one thing: that I have to spend a single
day without you."
Kev had to fight the same fight with his emotions than I had
before.
Mr. Whitmore continued.
"Kevin Schneider. I ask you: do you want to take Leon Fitzgerald
as your husband? Do you vow to love him and care for him?"
"Yes. I do."
"Leon Fitzgerald. I ask you: do you want to take Kevin Schneider
as your husband? Do you vow to love him and care for him?"
"Yes. I do."
"Please exchange the rings."
Christopher fetched the small cushion again and presented it to
Kev and me. Our wedding rings were made of white gold. They had
been polished in a stripe-pattern, alternating between matte
finished and shiny bands. Inside the date and both of our names
had been engraved. Kev took the smaller one and put it on the
ring finger of my right hand. His face wore the smile I had
fallen for during our first meeting. I put Kev's ring on his
right hand looking into the blueness of his eyes. We turned to
Mr. Whitmore again.
"By the power and authority vested in me by this state, I
pronounce you husband and husband.  You may kiss each other."
Our gazes met again. Both of us bearing a blissful smile, we
closed the distance between us until our lips met. The guests got
up from their seats and started to applaud. As always, I lost
track of time when locked to Kev's lips. After a short while, cat
calls were added to the applause by the bodybuilding team. It was
our cue that we had used up the maximum time for a decent kiss.
Laughing, we let go of each other and turned to our guests. The
string quartet began to play another tune, a more lively and
happy one this time. Kev and I linked arms and moved down the
aisle, followed by our best men, best women and Chris. The guests
threw rice at us which my Mom had prepared in small silken
pouches. We went inside the house into the living room. A table
had been prepared for our wedding gifts. Kev and I stood before
it and the guests filed in to congratulate us and to give us
their presents.
In the meantime, the garden had been prepared for the wedding
feast. Tables had been arranged in a horseshoe-like manner.
Before and after the meal, many of the guests held a small
speech, more or less voluntarily. It had taken considerable
effort to make Rob do it.
A dance floor had been created in the inner horseshoe. Instead of
a band, we had been able to persuade Mom to hire a DJ. We had not
been successful at talking her out of the traditional waltz which
we had to open. Kev and I had practiced that dance in the privacy
of our dorm room, but still I was feeling nervous when we were
standing alone in the middle of the floor. But the touch of Kev
was soothing and after the first few measures of the waltz, my
anxiety had waned. I looked up at Kev, smiled and voiced the
words `I love you.' `I love you, too.' was his silent answer.
After another minute, someone tapped my shoulder. It was Mr.
Schneider. Kev had been approached by my Dad. Kev's face showed
as much surprise as mine, but we waltzed on with our new
partners. All the other couples who joined us on the dance floor
were same sex couples. Rob was dancing with Tiff, Marc was
dancing with Avery, Mom was dancing with Mrs. Schneider. That had
been Mom's idea for sure and I smiled at her when our eyes met,
she winking at me. I was shocked by the next person who tapped my
shoulder: it was Timothy. We smiled at each other and started to
dance. Kev was now waltzing with Prof. Smyth, while my Dad was
almost floating in the arms of Coach Derringer. I had to suppress
a laugh.

After the wedding we had stayed two days with my parents. Hans
and Emily had joined us. To be frank, my Mom hadn't left them
much of a choice. We had promised to visit both of them after our
honey moon trip to finally talk.
Kev and I returned to the college, before leaving for our honey
moon. It had been more convenient to book flights that started
and ended close to the college. We had just ascended the stairs
and were walking down the floor to our room. Administration had
already changed the name plate.
"Leon Fitzgerald. Kevin Fitzgerald."
I touched the plate.
"One and a half year ago, I'd been anxious when reading your name
here."
I turned to Kev.
"Now it is the most wonderful thing to see."
He closed the distance between us and raised me until we were on
eye level. Our kiss was tender and full of love for each other.
"It is time to carry my husband over the threshold."
Of course, Kev was smiling. His handsome features would have been
incomplete without it. He opened the door and carried me into the
room where everything had begun.
