Barbara 3: Losing Paradise


By Romany

(T/g)


Chapter 9: Normal Transmission Resumes.


Barbara actually had her first period some 3 months after our
agreement that intercourse was out but in reality any further
hope of full sex, particularly on my part, was effectively dashed
by the knowledge conception could occur at any time. The scare
engendered by Barbara�s awareness of her bodily functions
subsided after a week or so but the basic premise remained the
same. No actual fucking henceforth. So Barbara and I confined our
sexual escapades to oral sex and mutual masturbation. The
prospect of any sort of genital to genital contact, particularly
involving penetration was off limits. The basic scenario for
contact was the same and we managed to gain maximum value from
the stolen moments we were afforded by the rest of the family
being absent on numerous, albeit usually short duration,
occasions. As well as the clandestine visits to Barbara's bed on
suitable nights.

 In the meantime Shari and I became an item. She had started at
our school and we were constantly in each other�s company when
classes permitted. This whole new adolescent love affair brought
me a whole gamut of conflicting emotions. My genuine affection
for Barbara "the little kid" and the sex that went with it,
offset against the normal girl-boy relationship that did not as
yet have a sexual dimension to it with Shari. This really tested
my resolve to continue both relationships. Not that I didn't want
a sexual dimension with Shari, but like Matti and his frankness
about sex, Shari had made it clear very early on that any sexual
congress between us would be a considered decision on her part.
And by implication, it would not happen either as a matter of
perseverance on my part, or happen quickly if at all. She related
this to me in an honest matter of fact way over the early stages
of our burgeoning relationship. To be honest I was so darned
pleased to have someone to call "girlfriend" I couldn't care less
if we never had sex initially. But the secret I harbored, and the
infidelity that was part of that, was beginning to weigh more
heavily on me. Oh I had blotted out the moral wrong where Barbara
was concerned but the effect of me now cheating was a different
moral dilemma. I could fool myself into believing that Barbara's
consent to sex with me somehow made it OK. But cheating on my
girlfriend was not OK, even if the two girls were providing
complimentary services. One as the dirty little secret, the other
as a legitimate partner in a sense.

Matti was well aware of his cousin's avowed chastity and did
share with me that Shari was not a virgin. He swore he would kill
me if I let on to Shari that he had told me of her past. There
was some infamous escapade with a college freshman when she was
15, which was common knowledge within the family confines. This
disappointed me on one hand but excited me on the other. She had
a sexual history so maybe there was hope for me too. Apparently
it all came about over a pregnancy scare when Shari, believing
she was pregnant, confided to her parents. Only to find out she
wasn't but had let the existence and the nature of her
relationship with the guy, out of the bag. This was the main
reason for the manner in which she warned me off even trying it
on with her. We could make out but the prospect of second or
third base was a no-no. But underlying this enforced celibacy, a
real relationship was quietly evolving between us to the extent
we were seriously going steady. I was spending more and more of
my Friday nights and weekend time with Matti, Marilyn and Shari.
I was able to keep Shari a secret from Barbara as Matti always
picked me up in his mother's car, second on the list, and Shari
last. I don't know what affect the realisation that I had a
girlfriend would have on my young lover. I didn't want to
contemplate this probable complication.

But it was a quiet conversation that Matti and I had at school
one day that helped me progress with Barbara. We were alone at
one end of the football field after falling foul of the coach and
we were dispatched to clean up trash in one end zone as a
punishment. We were idly gathering candy wrappers and such like
and talking about our burgeoning romances. Matti started by
confiding that he and Marilyn were getting pretty hot with each
other and he was sure that they would "do the dirty deed" in the
not to distant future. Not a boast. Just quiet assurance of his
relationship. Harking back to the scare Barbara had given me
regarding pregnancy, I warned him of being too zealous with his
sexual endeavors and get Marilyn pregnant. Likewise the situation
Shari had found herself in was a stark lesson. Matti had it all
figured out. Since his sister's unwanted pregnancy his mother had
counseled both he and Anja on birth control. This was long before
AIDS and the safe sex message, so protection was the key message
here. Matti's mother had openly stated she would provide condoms
to either of her children if they felt the need to be sexually
active. This in tandem with a polite lecture on choices, actions
and consequences. Anja had put her mother's offer to the test
immediately, requesting an "emergency" supply for her handbag and
purse, much to her mother's dismay. The choices and
responsibility of action and consequences clearly were
superfluous to Anja. Even little Jacob's existence did not sober
Anja into abstinence as a good policy. Anja's "lesbian phase" had
long since crashed after the older butch dyke she had been
involved with turned her over to the pack at a gay party one
night, which had left Anja shaken and off women supposedly for
good. She had escaped a fearful mauling bordering on female rape
by scrambling out a window and taking flight, arriving home in
tears in the back of a cab, and asking her mother to stand the
fare. Men were now the preferred choice again.

Matti said that his mother had placed a packet of 12 Trojan's in
a drawer in the battered sideboard, for either of her children to
help themselves without fear of comeback from her. Matti had yet
to avail himself, out of deference to his mother's gentle
teaching, but admitted it was only a matter of time before he
would take her up on the offer. To be honest condoms had never
entered my mind as a way to persuade Barbara to allow full sex. I
was too naive to rationalize the obvious benefits they could give
me, being content to "endure" blowjobs and hand jobs. I was
intrigued with this situation for two reasons. Firstly my sexual
desires for my girlfriend Shari, but more immediately I saw it as
a possible avenue as resumption of full sex with Barbara. I
reasoned that getting Shari to come across may be a work in
progress, but Barbara was a far more available prospect. Somehow
I had to work around to getting Matti to share the supply of
condoms. But any attempt to use Shari as the reason for my need
would be a tricky scenario given Matti was fully aware of her
attitude on sex with me, or anyone else. The alternative was to
get my own access via a pharmacy or drugstore.  This new
information now intrigued me and challenged me as to how I might
gain my way back into Barbara, literally.

I had dismissed getting access to Matti's source but the prospect
of obtaining condoms by actually fronting up to buy them, daunted
me to the point I felt helpless to pull it off. What to do? Matti
unwittingly helped me out. Just prior to Xmas, Matti announced to
me in secret that Marilyn's parents were going away overnight,
for a lodge Xmas dinner held in the country. As it was too far to
drive home immediately afterwards, and they would be drinking,
they elected to book themselves into the hotel venue where the
dinner was being held. This all obtained with a promise from
Marilyn that she would remain at home and not let anyone call or
enter their home while they were out overnight. A promise Marilyn
was going to break and invite Matti for at least part of the
evening. He was sure they would finally have sex. But Matti had
chickened out at helping himself to the stash his mother had
provided as Anja's up-front request for her personal supply had
virtually meant any missing condoms would be down to him. And he
simply wasn't ready to instigate the inquisition he was sure
would happen, even if his mother was true to her word of no
comeback. So he had resolved to purchase his own. Matti was a
year older than me and looked at least passable for 18 if he
dressed himself accordingly. He had also been shaving for some
months and he knew that a bit of stubble aided the effect of
making himself appear older. Hopefully he was able to buy with
impunity. So he succeeded in buying his own. A pack of 5. When he
was about to make the purchase one Friday evening, with me in the
car waiting for him, I begged him to get me a packet as well.

"What do you want them for?" he had asked suspiciously. "Shari
will never let you into her panties," he continued.

I blushed helplessly.

"In case," I had answered lamely.

He regarded me with further suspicion then added: "Oh well. At
least you can practice fitting them for when you jack off, you
poor sad bustard," and laughed at his own burn on me at what he
saw as my obvious nocturnal habits.

I laughed nervously, happy to see his initial suspicion was
better replaced with an oblique jibe at me jerking off.

"You can at least have Shari in your mind, because she'll never
come across with the real McCoy," he stated somewhat derisively.

If nothing else he was at least loyal to his pretty cousin. And
so I too sat in the front of his mother's car with 5 Trojan
condoms in foil packs. We looked at each other grinning.

"You've got no chance dreamer," he laughed and lightly punched me
on the arm.

I laughed and nodded in mock agreement but secretly knew his
cousin was perfectly safe as my lecherous plan was to use these
on my young lover. I just had to convince her of the merits of
resuming full sex with contraception. This would be my next
assault on the young girl�s faith. The prospect of convincing
Barbara to reconsider penetrative sex was a daunting one. There
was great comfort in the knowledge that blowjobs and hand jobs
either way were not going to result in an unwanted pregnancy. We
had settled into our routine very nicely and she was more than
keen on the pleasurable release she got from our contact. Her
libido was real and advanced for her age. Well, insofar as for a
normal girl would be for her age. In truth she should have been
weaning herself off dolls and not sexual intercourse. Getting
into makeup and clothes and not hand jobs and oral sex. But the
die had been cast and we were real a couple in tune with each
other�s likes and desires. Driven by my hormones and tempered
appropriately by her continuing maturity with respect to my urges
and needs. But in short, I loved it and so did she. I broached
the issue of contraception in a typical adolescent way. It was
one of those occasions when Phyllis had gone to visit her mother,
between Barbara arriving home from school and dinner at 6:00pm.
She would be away for at least an hour. Barbara as typical
arrived I my room as Phyllis was still backing the car out of the
garage. She had the "ready for action" look and I just knew she
would have no underwear on under her school skirt. Usually we
would masturbate each other mutually and whomever orgasmed first
(me usually) would then oblige the other by going down on them.
Usually fully clothed apart from no panties on her part or my
flies opened on mine. She always loosened her bra and I would
grope and fondle under her top. This, even today, is a real turn
on for me. The restrictive nature of her upper clothing had a
real forbidden aspect to it. Like the grope in the back seat of a
car or movie theatre. The oral sex was by now expert and
immensely pleasurable for both of us.

But today I sat as she approached, almost automated in her
expectation of the delights to be quickly shared. I sat and
looked somewhat nervously at her, the condoms in my closed hand.
She stopped just short of groping for my flies, and she expecting
me to take her with my fingers. She looked surprised and
quizzically at my apparent inaction. I looked somewhat sheepishly
at her as I slowly opened my hand with the condoms in my palm.
She looked at my face, searching for an answer to my behaviour
and after searching without finding any obvious reason, spotted
the foil packet in my hand. Of course she didn't know what they
were and the puzzled look did not change, as she looked first at
the object I was holding then back at my face. I held the single
packet up and still it did not register.

"What is it," she asked.

"A rubber," I answered quietly.

Her face immediately acknowledged recognition of what it was then
it clouded over. Silence as I could see her mind realizing the
obvious implication. She looked at me, almost a betrayed hurt
look.

"No Stevie," was her simple answer.

Not firm, not hesitant. Just a calm statement.

"But Barb. We can do it again. No need to worry about getting
pregnant. And what's more, no mess anymore so we can even do it
when I visit you in bed."

I rattled the advantages off like a machinegun. Once I had said
my spiel I fell silent but looked up at her expectantly. Looking
for the reassurance in her face that she had comprehended what I
had said.

"No. It's not allowed," she said evenly.

"None of what we do is allowed Barbs. But we still do it. Why?
Because we love each other,� I retorted, almost whining now.

"It's not right. It's a..." she paused suddenly realizing what
she was about to say and regretting she had chosen these words.
But she said them; "A sin," she said quietly, almost in defeat
she had uttered those words.

They sounded so trite. I stood and took her arms.

"Barbs. You like proper sex. I like proper sex. We were good at
it and we love each other," I continued to almost whine as I
attempted to persuade her in what I was saying. "This will make
sure you don't get pregnant. Why we can even do it when you have
your period," I continued. As soon as I said that I regretted it.
She flashed her eyes at me in shock at my suggestion.

"Well not during your period, obviously," I quickly corrected.
"But we can still do everything we like," I said.

�It's not right to have this sort of birth control," she
answered. By now she was clearly unhappy and almost desperate in
trying to dissuade me.

"That's rubbish Barbs. I bet almost every Catholic family have no
more than the number of kids they want because they use rubbers
or the pill or, you know, diaphragms or whatever," I sputtered.
"The rhythm method is not even close to usual birth control.
There would be big families all over. And why, because it isn't
reliable," I reasoned. �Why, I bet your parents have some sort of
birth control as well," I continued.

She shot me an evil look.

"Don't talk about mom and dad like that," she growled.

So began our first fight.

"I'll show you," I retorted and stormed from the room into her
parent�s bedroom opposite.

I was putting all of my faith in Martin and Phyllis having some
sort of external contraceptive. It was a high-risk punt at trying
to convince her it was OK. Sort of by example. Stupidly I did not
immediately see the insult my behaviour was aiming at Barbara, by
breaching her faith in the two people she loved and trusted the
most.  And of course her trust and respect of me was instantly
relegated to my immediate needs.

"Stevie, don't. Stop this!" she wailed after me. She was on the
verge of tears.

By now I was becoming irrational as I had thought she would have
been just as excited about our apparent freedom to go back to
fucking as I was. I stalked over to the nightstand on Martin's
side of the bed and pulled open the top drawer. Bingo! "Shit.
Bull�s-eye first time," I thought. There tucked at the back was a
tube of KY, but more importantly, lying beside it was a pack of
Trojans. I was stunned. "This should not be so easy," I thought.
I held the condoms up and grinned triumphantly.

Barbara burst into tears and uttering �I hate you" she fled from
the room.

"Oh fuck it," I thought. "This couldn't have gone worse. I've
gone too far now. I've involved her parents in our forbidden
games."

I followed her out of the room and down to her bedroom. I was too
far behind to stop her slamming the bedroom door in my face.
"Shit. I've really fucked this up," I thought. "Our first fight
ever and what a shitty way for me to handle it all."

I trooped back to my room despondent at the outcome. Not only had
I failed, I had alienated her towards me and now I wouldn't even
get a blowjob. "Shit." I remembered the drawer in Martin's
nightstand. It was still open. I sneaked back into the bedroom
and quickly walked to the nightstand. I hadn't seen KY before and
I picked up the tube. I read the small printing and deduced what
it was. The tube was mostly full with a medium depression along
its length. I sniffed it. No distinctive odor. I put it back as I
found it and closed the drawer. I stood and listened at the wall
to see if I could hear Barbara on the other side. Silence.

I walked around the foot of the bed to the door and paused and
regarded Phyllis' nightstand. "I wonder...." I thought to myself.
I stepped towards it and slowly pulled it open. Nothing of note.
Panties and more panties. I rummaged through but found nothing. I
tried the middle drawer and there were some bras, a folded
petticoat and slip, and a string type arrangement with what
looked like a small pocket on each side. I didn't know it but it
was a small belt for holding sanitary pads. I went to the third
drawer and there was an odd collection of stockings and a garter
belt, which looked a little worse for wear. But in amongst these
was a large roll of red socks. Curious, as it seemed out of place
for what was obviously a repository for lingerie and underwear. I
picked up the socks and was surprised at the seemingly heavy
weight of wool. I tapped the socks against my hand and realised
it was firm with something inside. I un-tucked the socks from
each other and to my surprise, a light brown hard rubbery cock
came into view. I stood with my mouth open in amazement. "Geez,"
I thought. "A fucking dildo." This was yet another watershed in
my sexual experience. I had seen pictures in a scruffy adult
magazine but never a real one. This was one of the many oddities
of sexual adulthood, yet to be experienced first hand. I couldn't
comprehend Phyllis, with her many changing shades of hair dye and
garish nail polish and crooked front teeth, with this thing
buried in her pussy. Was it concealed from prying eyes of the
kids, or Martin? I viewed it from all angles and I couldn't help
myself from sniffing it. No odor to speak of.  I stood and looked
at it dumbfounded at this discovery. I simply could not see
Martin as being aware of this, yet, maybe there were hidden
depths to them I had never ever thought about. Dark desires in
the Catholic hinterland. I suddenly felt embarrassed at my find.
Like it was my own parent�s drawers or my mother�s sex toy. I
shuddered. "Heaven forbid," I thought. I tucked the socks back
into each other as best I could remember how I found it and the
dildo was nestled safely inside. Then fear of discovery overcame
me and I hurried from the room.

 I had just got back into my bedroom when the door from the
family room opened and I heard Phyllis calling Barbara's name. I
broke out in a cold sweat. "Fuck! Nearly caught," I thought, my
heart racing with excitement of the near discovery. Phyllis
called Barbara few times and finally I heard her open Barbara's
bedroom door and she started asking Barbara for help to prepare
the vegetables for dinner. I pulled out my schoolbooks and
dragged the old school desk up beside my bed and sat on the bed
and pretended to do homework. The show was for nothing, as
Phyllis hardly ever entered my room anyway. I had the condoms
tucked in my jeans pocket. Later I transferred all but one into
my suitcase under the bed and tucked one in wallet. My macho
badge of honor. Barbara sulked towards me. I was growing
increasingly concerned she was going to reach a point that the
desire to purge herself would see some sort of emotional
breakdown and she would confess. As she snubbed me I became
increasingly unhappy and worried. It must have shown because on
one occasion at dinner Martin remarked how ill I was looking. I
feigned that I was not feeling well and went through the ruse of
excusing myself midway through the meal. The truth was I felt
sick with fear of disclosure. All over a fucking packet of
condoms. Well. Not really. All over the selfish and rather
ignorant pressure applied to a 12 year old girl to have sex.

The estrangement between Barbara and me lasted nearly two weeks
as she avoided me at every turn. I was now almost physically ill
every time I thought about our past months of sex. I was
absolutely convinced it was all about to blow up in my face and I
was thinking of how I could convince my parents it was time to
change accommodation. Thanksgiving had come and gone and
Christmas was a matter of two weeks away. At least I could go
home for the holidays. But to my surprise and delight it changed
on one cold windy night as I was lying in a light doze before
drifting off to sleep. My cock was slowly subsiding from a bout
of masturbation. I suddenly was aware of someone entering the
room and opened my eyes with a start. I saw the silhouette of a
figure loom up by my bed. I moved to prop myself up on my elbow
and Barbara quickly pulled the covers back. I felt her grab for
my hand and pull me urgently from the bed. I glanced over in
Jarrod's direction as if I could see if he was asleep. It was
pitch black so I simply allowed myself to be led from the room.
She led me up to the front sitting room and she pushed the door
almost closed behind us. She led me over to the window area where
the faint light from a distant street lamp illuminated the gap
behind the old couch and the window seat. Without a word she
simple wrapped her arms around me and clung to me, her head on my
shoulder. She was weeping quietly. Small sobs with the occasional
shudder as she inhaled. We stood there for ages. Just holding
each other. I felt such a fucking heal. She had caved in.
Surrendered. I had bullied her and won. And I felt a shit.
Eventually she stopped weeping. She lifted her head and looked at
me. I could see her dark eyes and the shadow of the streetlight
cast across the bridge of her nose and prominent on her cheek to
the light. She craned herself up on tiptoes and we kissed long
and passionately. She kissed me purposefully for several minutes,
her tongue snaking in and out of my mouth. Eventually she let me
go and took my face in her hands and craning as she kissed and
held me tenderly. She was wearing her PJs and I slipped a hand
down her bottoms and zeroed in on her now downy mound. She took
my cue and I felt a hand insinuate itself inside my flap on my
bottoms and she took my now hardening cock and slowly started to
jack me. I slipped my fingers in the front of her slit and in a
few minutes of slowly stroking her clitoris, she had moistened
and was quietly gasping as she kissed me. I was now rock hard and
resisting the urge to push her on her back and plough into her
warm cleft was almost more than I could resist.

"Get them," she mumbled into my mouth through her kiss.

"What?" I whispered back.

"The rubbers. Get one," she answered.

"Are you sure?" I asked scared she would renege on her request.

"Get them now. Do it, before I change my mind," she ordered.

I didn't need further prompting. I quickly tiptoed back to my
room and fumbled in the back pocket of my jeans for my wallet. I
fished around inside and removed the single condom I had secreted
there. I returned quietly to the sitting room. I couldn't see her
at first but she had crouched down behind the couch, almost as if
she were squatting to pee. I stood in front of her and she
reached for me again and took my cock out of my PJ bottoms. I
chewed the edge of the foil and opened the packet. I had never
handled a condom before but had some idea what was meant to be
done. Before I could roll it on she took me into her mouth and
began sucking me with familiar urgent sucks while stroking me
from mid-way to the base. This way she prevented me pushing too
deep unexpectedly. I let her blow me for a minute or two but I
was really aroused now and scared I would erupt in her mouth as I
usually did. Eventually I was able to ease her hungry mouth off
my cock. She almost fought me to continue then realised what we
were meant to be doing was putting the condom on. I held the
condom in my hand and placed it over my cock and smoothed it down
with one easy movement. I noted she had her face up close peering
to see the latex stretching over the shaft. But it was too dark.
As soon as she realised I had it fitted she stood and quickly
shucked her PJ bottoms and immediately lay back down on the
carpeted floor. Without any attempt at further foreplay I knelt
between her spread legs and felt around until I was able to
engage my fingers in her moist hole. I noted she smelt strong and
this was curious. I wondered if she had finally got her period. I
eased forward and holding my cock in one hand I inched my hips
until I felt the warmth of her vulva as I slipped the head of my
cock into her slit. Once I was engaged her arms came up over my
lower back and I slowly eased myself into her tight warmth. I was
pleasantly surprised how much I could feel through the thin latex
membrane as I slowly bottomed out deep in her, my balls hanging
against her buttocks.

From here our knowledge of each other took over as she regularly
eased her hips up to meet my in-strokes and sighed as she felt me
withdraw, holding her breath as I pushed deep back into her
again. She clung to my lower back initially, and then I was aware
she had removed one hand and I could feel her scrabbling at my
chest. I soon realised it wasn't my chest but she had pushed a
hand up inside her PJ top and was massaging her young nipples
alternately. This had an immediate affect and she was helping
turn herself on while I was now fucking her with long steady
strokes. We were now both grunting in unison as I ploughed her
deep and she pinched and tweaked her nipples. I was leaning on my
forearms either side of her head and I half rotated my body to
open a space between our pelvic areas and slid a hand back and
found her clitoris with the fingertips. She groaned alarmingly
loudly as the twin effect of her massaging her nipples and me
fingering her clitoris found favor and her pleasure was evident
now as she was fucking up at me with short sharp humping
movements. She hooked her lower legs over my calves and she
pressured down and held me in position and urged back at me to
fuck her. I doubled my efforts and while my position was allowing
my hand between our bodies while fingering her, I had enough of
my cock in her to feel the warm snug delight of a delicious
carnal fucking of her tight canal. She came suddenly, crying out.
My heart jumped with fear, it seemed so loud. She heard herself
and the next cry of pleasure was stifled as she bit my shoulder.
She held me like a dog holds a ball in its mouth as she let go
several guttural sobs of pleasure. It was too much to endure and
I erupted into the latex shield and slammed her hard causing her
to lose her slowing rhythm of release, and I hammered her
buttocks hard against the floor. I reared up and shoved with all
my might as I emptied myself into the condom, stifling a deep
gasp at my own efforts. So much effort I realised I was inching
us both along the floor, with each hard shove. I cried. The depth
of release was so great I literally sobbed and my eyes filled
with tears, as much in passionate carnal release as the
surrendering to the emotion of the previous two weeks and the
toll they had taken on me. She realised I was genuinely sobbing
quietly and next thing she was weeping and holding me telling me
it was all right. I sobbed uncontrollably for several minutes
before I was able to compose myself. My cock was still so hard
within her but in truth the depth of my release spent my spirit.
She cuddled me, lightly pecking my face and running a hand
through my hair.

To my surprise I felt the pleasure rise once more with her tender
ministrations and I let another weak ejaculation go into the
condom. I'd never ever been able to come so quickly a second
time, no matter how hard I had tried when masturbating. I do not
know where this mild pleasurable aftershock came from but
eventually I quieted down and my erection began to wane. I
slipped from her comfy warmth and my cock hung between us now
clad in its disheveled garb, weighted by the fluid accumulated in
the small pod at the end and up to the tip of the cock shrinking
within. I rolled off her and we lay holding a hand as we gained
some composure. I eventually rose first and she slowly got to her
knees and felt around for her PJ bottoms. I turned away and
slipped the condom off my soft cock and quickly tied a knot in
the end by feel. She stood beside me with her PJs back to normal,
and took the object from me and held it up to the weak light
filtering through the net curtains. I could see her teeth gleam
and knew she was smiling. She leaned up and pecked my check.

�I am so sorry Stevie," she said softly.

I embraced her and the tears welled in my eyes once more. I stood
silently holding her and brought my emotions under control.

�It's me who should be sorry Barbs," I replied. "I acted like
such a pig. I was such a jerk."

"It's over now," she whispered. "We're fine."

I nuzzled her neck. She had her arms around my neck with the
tied-off condom in one hand, dangling behind my back. We finally
broke our embrace and she slowly walked before me to the door and
eased it open. I stood back, watching. She ensured the coast was
clear and raised her hand in a farewell and slipped into the
hall. I realised she still had the condom in her hand. I quickly
went after her and eased into the hall just as she disappeared
into the bathroom. I saw the thin sliver of light under the door
as she turned the light on. I quickly moved into my bedroom
doorway and strained my ears. I could hear the faint telltale
hiss of her pissing and then silence followed by the unmistakable
sound of the toilet roller being turned. Then silence and then
the toilet flushed. She snapped the light off and I heard the
door open and I peeked back and saw her figure disappear up the
hall to her bedroom. I waited for what seemed like an eternity
then I went into the toilet. I turned the light on and looked in
the bowl. To my horror the condom was floating. By tying it off,
I had trapped air in it and it was floating very buoyant on the
surface of the water. I fished the rubber out and with difficulty
untied the knot. I was nearly reduced to using my teeth but
eventually I got the knot open. I smoothed the rubber making sure
not to allow the semen to ooze out, and then I wrapped it tightly
in a wad of toilet paper. I flushed the toilet and stood and
watched to ensure it disappeared down the sewer. The bowl
refilled to its pre-flush level with clean clear water. I waited
to ensure the thing didn't bob back and convinced I had drowned
it for good, turned the light off and went back to bed. I slept
like a man who had just removed the weight of the world from his
shoulders.

Shari had noticed my sudden mood swing when Barbara and I had had
our fight. So when I turned up Friday night all laughter and
jokes, she made a comment about "the real Stevie has come back".
I didn't realise just how deeply the fear of disclosure with
Barbara had affected me. Barbara and I also talked often and when
we were alone the first opportunity after our passionate sex with
the condom, she confessed she had buckled after she had lay in
bed that night and masturbated herself without satisfaction. That
explained the rich sweet odor I had noticed. She said she was as
randy as hell but no matter what she did she could not get the
final rush of release. That had driven her to rise from her bed
and come and get me. The contact had purged her of the
unhappiness she was bottling up inside and like me; the release
was as much emotional relief as sexual. The availability of
condoms actually proved to be a hit with her and we quickly found
times to use three of the remaining four over the next two weeks
up to the Christmas holiday break. I went back to the island to
have Christmas and New Year with my family. The fifth, and final,
condom we used on my return. Twice we had fucked in daylight
while Phyllis was away, after school. She had delighted in
rolling the latex onto my cock with her face up close, and by the
time we used the last one it was her role to put it on my cock.
The using of the five condoms left me in a quandary as to how to
get more. If I went to Matti, he would want to know what happened
to the five. It would be his belief I had simply jacked off into
them. He had already conceded Marilyn had baulked the night of
their planned joint loss of virginity and he still had his five.
He wouldn't give them to me unless I confessed to masturbating
into them. That would have been the smart move to begrudgingly
admit it, but my ego was not going to let that happen again. It
was unjust that I was actually using them for their intended
purpose and yet had to confess to being a jerk off to explain why
I had used them. As well as this, I was still the only non-virgin
in our group, apart from Shari, and I couldn't talk to anyone
about it.

Life was so unfair.


Chapter 10: All Good Things Must Pass

The journey back home for the holidays passed uneventfully. It
was good to be back with my family again. I had skipped visiting
at Thanksgiving, given the ferry timetable made a visit home a
real rush, abbreviated by the need to return on the Saturday of
Thanksgiving weekend. The Kincaid's had invited me to stay and I
agreed with my parents consent. But Xmas was always a time for
family and this year my older brother Eric was home from the
Coastguard and with a new girlfriend called Erin who would
eventually become his wife. Shari called me most days and I was
somewhat embarrassed but nevertheless proud to have a girlfriend
when my mother teased me about her. She insisted Shari had to
visit at some time in the future. I went along with the friendly
jibes and truly desired a scenario where Shari could come and
stay. In reality I doubted whether her parents would agree and I
had a deep down feeling Shari would shy off such a visit as
perhaps being more serious with respect to our relationship, than
it actually was. Not that there was any issues between us but we
were really in a �just steady� mode without the degree of
intimacy which may have pushed us to another level of mutual
dependence. Mom also tackled me about Phyllis and her objection
to Matti. I did not realise that Phyllis had made at least two
calls to my mother in which she obliquely criticized my choice of
friends. Phone calls that had started off as generally positive
feedback on how I was doing, but usually ending in implied
criticism of my socializing.

�What�s this boy like really?� she asked.

I explained Matti�s home circumstances. I knew my mother was a
liberal person at heart and she did not seem to upset by what I
told her. More sympathetic than objecting to Matti. We discussed
the pros and cons of the friendship and mom firmly backed my
judgment. She had no reason to doubt that I would select good
people as my friends. In some way it endorsed her own
philosophical view that her sons had to make their own choices
based on the guidance already instilled through the love of her
and our dad. She suggested that maybe I ask Matti to park out of
view of the Kincaid�s household as a better way to go than to
continue to antagonize Phyllis with Matti parking right outside.
I agreed I would take this up with Matti. There the discussion
ended. I had a very wayward New Year. Eric and Erin took me out
to a number of our friend�s homes on New Year�s Eve and I got
drunk for the first time ever. Not stupidly pissed, just
pleasantly silly. It also brought about my first ever hangover on
New Year�s Day that brought mock chastisement from everyone,
along with much laughter and amusement at my sorry state all that
day.

I traveled back to Seaport after New Year and back into the
routine with the Kincaid�s. And a resumption of sex with Barbara.
She was so pleased to have me back again that she engineered a
visit to the front room first night back. Here the last condom
was used and for the first time I rolled her over on top of me,
in an attempt to progress our sexual adventures by trying a new
position. Initially we got a buzz out of her being on top, but
eventually I was too restricted in leading the effort and she
wanted to hold me closer than sitting nearly upright would allow.
When she leaned forward to kiss and nuzzle me, a few precious
inches of my cock slipped out, causing me to attempt to hump back
in. Her sitting on me made this quickly tiresome so I rolled her
over again, without withdrawing, and we resumed a steady fucking
in the missionary position. This coupled with me fingering her
clitoris, and she massaging her nipples, brought about a near
simultaneous orgasm. Obtaining more condoms remained the priority
and for most of January we had to resort to hand jobs and
blowjobs, while I devised a way to obtain some more. I did not
want to broach this topic with Matti again and the only thing
left was to try and purchase them myself. I dressed myself down
as much as possible, to look disheveled and hopefully look older
as a consequence. I loitered outside of this back street
drugstore for at least an hour before finally plucking up the
courage to enter and buy the rubbers. I needn�t have fretted. The
rather greasy looking druggist barely acknowledged me as I placed
a toothbrush, some toothpaste and dental floss, with a packet of
12 Trojans on the counter. I thought the diverse purchase might
make me appear nonchalant. To my horror, every other customer
loitering around the aisles looking at this and that, decided to
purchase at the same time and I stood at the head of the line
with at least 6 pairs of eyes drilling into the back of my head
as the druggist scooped everything up, reciting the product
loudly, as he dropped them into a paper bag. I could have dropped
through the floor. The worst of it all was that I only actually
wanted the condoms. But he wasn�t at all fazed if he felt I was
under aged. He just took my money and socked it away in the cash
register. I took the paper bag and fled, not even waiting for the
coins that made up the change.

I felt relieved to get out of the drugstore and after walking
about half a block along the street to where I had tethered my
bike, I�m sure I was walking 2 inches off the ground with my
chest puffed out. So Barbara and I returned to full sex. The
tried and true methods of getting together seemed easier to come
by as the last weeks of winter turned into spring and the rest of
the family made every effort to get out of the house more as the
weather warmed. On one occasion after dinner one evening Barbara
gave me a lovely languid blow job while Martin and Phyllis
pottered outside in the garden and Jarrod was at scouts.  The
only dark clouds were due to Phyllis becoming more and more
obsessed with my friendship with Matti. Despite arguing
vehemently that he would not park out of sight, Matti in fact did
park around the corner from our street and I made the effort to
be waiting at a prearranged time. But in fact it proved a worse
situation with Phyllis one day accusing me of being deceitful. I
argued that it was for her benefit, which seemed to upset her
more to the point that Martin came and had a word to me about my
apparent disrespect to Phyllis. He did it very nicely but I
realised the signs were ominous when my mother called one day and
asked me to call her back from a payphone. She pretended it was a
simple social call but when I called her from a payphone at the
strip mall half a mile from the house, she confessed that Martin
had called this time and while he was very diplomatic, he said
that it could not continue that I mixed with such a rough boy as
it was affecting Phyllis� health. My mother was beginning to
change her attitude to my choice of friends and basically asked
me to stop seeing Matti. I was pissed off. Angry and hurt as
well, that my mother was swinging to side with the Kincaid�s. I
guess the prospect of finding me new lodgings was not something
mom wanted to contemplate. I was angry at how Phyllis in
particular had twisted the issue to be about her, rather than
support any truth that I was at risk.

On top of this, my relationship with Shari was faltering. I know
now it was largely due to my immaturity. At the time I could not
see what I had done wrong. In truth she was simply bored with me
as an equal aged adolescent. I was aware only because she became
a little indifferent to me when we were alone together. Usually
she was a lot more relaxed with Matti and Marilyn, or our school
friends around. Then my world crashed down when I got to hear
that she had been seen with a group of seniors one Sunday when
she had said she was staying in to study. I was too afraid to
confront her with this news. Scared she would react badly. In
fact staying silent backfired as she found out I knew and told
Marilyn she was annoyed I had not shown any jealousy about it,
and so I probably didn�t care. It was a matter of days after
Marilyn confided what Shari had said that Shari formally dumped
me. Almost immediately she began dating Brad Thom who was captain
of the school basketball team. I was gutted. And what was worse
she virtually snubbed me at every turn from that point. My
sixteenth birthday came and went and I was forced to celebrate it
with the Kincaid�s only. I was heartbroken. It did bring about a
temporary respite from Phyllis and Martin as Matti decided to
stay a respectful distance for all but school contact, in
deference to his cousin who he was virtually soul mates with.
That really hurt me. My best friend had also dumped me in
sympathy with his cousin. I felt like shit. It must have shown,
as even Barbara was beginning to be a little distant due to my
own taciturn attitude towards her. Fortunately she did say
something about my morose attitude and seemingly callous approach
to our sex play. I told her I was having a problem regarding
Matti because of her parents and she quickly sided with me saying
how unfair I was being treated by her folks. From that point she
tried harder to please me and in all honesty this brought about
some very intense carnal exchanges. The most erotic encounter
came in early May when the Kincaid�s friend Hector called to say
he was being forced by his ex-wife to sell his cabin. Would they
like to go with him to the cabin on Saturday and help clean it
out for sale? They could have first choice on some of the
chattels and furniture he had agreed with his ex-wife that he
could keep. Barbara skillfully pulled off the stay-at-home
argument and that Saturday morning found the two of us standing
at the edge of the old sofa in the front sitting room watching
the rest of her family, and Hector and kids organize the van.
Barbara was lightly tapping her thigh with a Trojan in its
wrapper, while I stood to one side and just behind her, and
slowly worked two fingers up into her warm vagina. The minx had
rushed into my room and literally pushed me out the door up to
the front room as the family disappeared down the path to the
street out front. This behaviour was a secret act of bravado her
parents would never know about, yet excited her to know she was
engaging in a sexual act while they were very much in her focus.
This was her way of getting back at them for the fuss over Matti;
she was supporting me. She had stood at the end of the couch and
knelt one knee inside the large padded arm with the other foot
standing on the floor. She was straddling the bulky soft arm of
the couch with her crotch just grazing the worn material. As a
tease I had insinuated a hand into the crotch of her panties via
one leg hole, and she eased herself forward, leaning slightly to
give me unfettered access. I passed her the condom from my
pocket, which she took without looking down at what I had slipped
into her hand.

Hector was organizing proceedings with Donna and Tony standing
watching the two men arrange the van to allow maximum room for
the few goodies they would return with. This meant removing one
of the rear seats which was placed in the Kincaid�s garage.  We
watched through the net curtains, sure we could not be seen from
the street. I had my other hand on Barbara's shoulders and was
massaging her. She turned her head and I kissed her on the mouth.

"Lean further forward," I said.

She obeyed by leaning her body forward, and stretched her arms
along the soft end of the chunky couch. She was stretched out
like a cat. She laid her head on her arms and I heard her sigh as
I eased the plain cotton panties down. She knew what was coming
and moved her open side leg further out from the couch. I
unbuckled my belt and opened my flies. I pulled my cock over the
elastic of my briefs and stroked it while reaching for the Trojan
in her hand. She turned slightly with a groan of disapproval as
she realised I was going to roll it on myself. I pressured her
shoulders to remain stretched out on the arm of the couch,
straddling it like a vaulting horse. I slid the latex over my
rigid cock and holding it almost horizontal I aimed it at her now
gaping hole at the back of the labia. Gaping from the fingering I
had given it. She had lubricated easily with gentle flicks of her
clitoris with the thumb of the hand of which I had the fingers
buried inside of her. I marveled at the view of the mound of her
sex from the rear like this and I could see the brown pucker of
her anus. I eased forward with my cock in hand and engaged her
sweet warm hole. I slowly began the deliberate back and forth.
First just the head and then engaging more of my cock in her, and
finally I eased all the way in. I lifted her other leg up and she
spread it along the couch cushion taking her weight on her torso
stretched on the arm of the couch. Her outside foot acted to keep
her from rolling off the arm onto the floor. I pushed into her
and as she lifted her head to watch her parents fussing at
Hector's van and I slowly fucked her, listening to her sighing;
much akin to a cat�s purr, as I reamed her holding her from
behind. We watched her parents finally arrange themselves in
Hector's van and as they started to drive off, I emptied my balls
into the thin membrane which separated me from the flesh of their
12-year-old daughter; splayed open on the arm of their
comfortable couch. Crying out unashamedly as the sweet, sweet
agony overcame me. Crying out and gasping at each spasm of cum I
emptied into the condom. The eroticism of the fuck caused me to
waver and I staggered, and slumped against her. I looked up,
conscious I was sweating profusely; droplets forming and matting
my fringe, and she twisted and gave me a long languid look and
mouthed a little kiss at me.

I finally pulled off her and I was still somewhat unsteady as she
rolled sideways and back onto the couch, splaying her legs wide.
The mound of her pubis was lifted by her butt resting on the
couch cushion, and now the growing tuft of black pubic hair stood
like a small wheat-sheaf on a gentle rise. She maneuvered me
expertly across and down between her legs, and the urgency for me
to suck her was barely contained as she pushed my head hard down
into her warm sweet smelling vulva. She held me as I sucked and
laved her inner lips and slowly eased two and finally three
fingers into her now stretched hole. I worked on her clitoris
giving it little nips with my teeth and then trailing my teeth
down the labia on alternate sides each time I strayed from the
clitoris. My fingers were quite wet from her natural lubrication,
and with my pinky left outside her vagina, on one inward push the
tip inadvertently grazed her anus. She went ape! She lifted her
hips and groaned loudly as she began to push back. At first I
thought I had upset her by touching the pucker but soon realised
it was an erotic shock to her when I touched it. With the mixture
of excess saliva and her own natural wetness, the pinky was wet
despite being outside her inner warmth. I slowly brought the tip
back into contact ad she groaned loudly again. Encouraged I
flicked it lightly over her anus and she responded by pushing
back, searching for it to contact the sensitive brown hole once
again. I threw caution to the wind and slid the thin tip in past
the sphincter. She reared up at me slightly and my teeth
accidentally grazed her clitoris again and she bucked as the
teeth scraped her sensitive bud. At this moment my pinky slid
into the first knuckle and at that point she let go a small fart
and I felt her anus contract on the slim digit. I pushed my hand
hard into her and all my fingers slid past the last knuckle so I
was now holding her like you hold a bowling ball, although the
pressure was between four fingers and two holes, not three and
three. I worked my whole hand around and slid the other hand up
under her polo shirt and inside a cup of her soft bra.

I quickly began to roll the nipple as I pushed rhythmically with
my hand in her twin holes and ground my tongue onto her clitoris.
Barbara screamed and cried out as the orgasm consumed her in
surprise. Instead of the stifled gasps and groans she usually
made, she let go a series of loud cries and groans as she
struggled to control her breathing which was made ragged by the
contractions from her lower abdomen. She let go the noise because
no one would hear her and she could really let the pleasure
express itself through the gasping and crying she made. It was
such a turn on for me to give her such release and I was growing
stiff inside the slick inner of the used condom still on my
erection. In particular I could feel her pulse incredibly strong
around the pinky in the anal ring and she was humping
uncontrollably back at the invading fingers. I continued to bore
into her clitoris with the tongue and she was twisting away to
break the madness of the exquisite assault on her body but
quickly rolled back as she sensed the loss of pleasure and humped
hard at the fingers and mouth. Too beautiful and sensitive to
bear the contact, yet a sense of longing and great loss when she
broke the contact because she couldn�t stand it any more. She
twisted and alternated like this for maybe a minute and I was at
a loss of how to bring her down. Finally my mouth in contact with
her clitoris proved too much to sustain and she regretfully
pulled away with a long groan of pleasure. She literally swooned
away into a faint.

I lay with my head between her legs and my cock began to subside
as I joined her by dozing quietly. Eventually I started to feel
cramp in my leg which was twisted under my hip when I had
adjusted my head height to her crotch. She was splayed back on
the sofa, asleep. I slowly eased my fingers from her and then
rose up on my knees. I let the blood circulate back into my
trapped leg and while steadying myself, I tasted the fingers
which had been inside her vagina. I stopped at the pinky and
could see a brown line under the edge of the fingernail. The
scrapings from her rectum. I recalled a soft constriction on the
pinky when I pushed it right in. It would have been a small turd
waiting for her to expel through her normal bodily motion.
Neither of us had prepared for my finger to invade this forbidden
cavity. I smelled the finger and the unmistakable musty odor of
shit was present. I had no idea about anal sex, sodomy or
analingus so I was a little disgusted at what had been left on my
finger. But she had gone absolutely wild when I pushed it in so
it was definitely on the agenda for future encounters. It took
her some two hours or more to fully recover from the orgasm. She
finally tottered to the bathroom to swab her thighs and vulva
area following the climax. This done we stripped naked and
crawled into my bed and cuddled. We fell asleep again. At about
2:30pm I rallied her by going down between her legs again. This
time I did not hesitate to ream her cunt with my full three
fingers and as before, I slid my pinky deep in her anus. But
instead of sucking her, I stayed above the blankets and I
contented myself by flicking my thumb pad up onto the clitoris
and this brought about a gentle humping of her hips as she fucked
herself on my hand. I started nibbling her nipples and
occasionally kissing her lips and the earlobes before straying
down the nape of her neck. The movement of her body signaled
another orgasm and I quickly took a nipple and as hard as I
dared, bit into the hard little nubbin and then scraped my teeth
up to the end and back down again.

For the second time that day she cried out and bucked violently
at my hand and crushed my head to her young body. The screams
were as much in pain from the teeth at her breast, as to the
pleasure that wracked her body once more. She writhed against me
and just as before, took some minutes to ease down. I stayed with
her this time. Not letting her pass out and with some difficulty
I rolled her over onto her stomach as she was heaving, trying to
catch her breath. I raised myself onto my knees and coaxed her up
onto her knees, before easing them apart on the bed. She was now
lying with her face twisted sideways on the pillow and her
buttocks jutting obscenely in the air. Her hands were either side
of her head on the pillow, like a Muslim in prayer. I eased back
and looked at the firm curve of the labia from the back of her
crotch to the full mound of the pubis at the bottom of her
abdomen. I knelt like this for some minutes and took in the
carnal pleasure from her placed in this aspect as I slowly rub my
palm all over her vulva as a sort of afterglow wind down. I
flicked the now reddish vaginal lips open and slid my hand up and
down the slick inner lips. I looked down at my hard cock and gave
it a couple of long strokes to prepare it for the condom. I eased
off the bed and retrieved a condom from my jeans pocket. I
removed the wrapper and slowly I eased the latex down the shaft.
A few strokes and it was stretched out without a wrinkle. The
little pod sitting erect with the air trapped inside. I knelt
behind her again and slowly I pushed my cock into her open
warmth. She sighed as she felt the length invading her depth once
more. Now I could really lean forward against her and she gave a
groan of discomfort as I must have bottomed out against her
cervix. I fucked her long, slow and at times hard. I took no
effort to massage her clitoris or give her pleasure but instead I
used her to bring myself to one of the most carnal and satisfying
climaxes I was ever to experience with her young body. By the
finish of it she was groaning continually as I increased my
rhythm and the constant nudging of the cervix was causing her
some discomfort. I fucked her completely and as I slammed deep in
her she finally succumbed and her buttocks slowly were pounded to
lie flat on the bed and I now had to shove, lying almost
horizontal over her back, to maintain the feeling of depth of
penetration. I finished by gasping and screaming silent ragged
screams of delight as my whole body came down off an amazing
carnal crescendo of pumping, groaning and sweating against her
young body. I was soaked. I was fucked.

We eventually cleaned ourselves up by sharing a quick shower. It
was getting past 3 o�clock and the danger of her family arriving
home was too great to risk drawing the sex out any longer. We
were both sated and weary after the day�s exertions. We dried and
dressed and sat and ate a late lunch of cold chicken and a salad
Phyllis had left for us. By the time we had cleaned up it was
after 4 o�clock. We lightly touched out fingertips and with a
warm smile to each other, drifted off to our respective rooms and
dozed. I had made my bed and lay on top and pondered if things
could get any better with Barbara. I tempered this smug
contentment with a brief thought for Shari and my now unrequited
love that was slowly being mashed into oblivion. Barbara and I
had continued our clandestine sex under the noses of the family
for nearly seven months. But as they say, all things must come to
an end. Matti eventually resumed his friendship with me and to my
absolute delight Shari cornered me at school one day and asked if
she could see me. I thought she meant for a chat and my heart
sunk as I thought this would be the polite justification of her
loss of interest in me. The truth spoken at last. I didn't want
to know any details. My heart was still ragged as it was. But
when we met in the town library where she waited for her bus
after school every day, she actually asked if we could set her
recent estrangement aside and go back to dating again. She said
she was sorry for being so fickle and admitted she realized she
was both stupid and cruel. She never went so far as to explain
why she had dumped me, nor why she wanted to rekindle our
relationship. But I didn't care. I was overwhelmed with joy. I
found out from Marilyn that the senior guys she dated apparently
saw her as an easy lay. She was eventually repulsed at the
try-ons by the guys whom she had brief periods dating. She worked
out quickly that they saw her as young enough to be an easy
conquest. She had confessed to Marilyn that she had literally
fought off two of the guys she dated and a third caved in after
she threatened to tell, when he had cornered her in a vacant
classroom one day after school and expected to cop a feel from
her. I vaguely heard she was now labeled a tease by the senior
girls who were a bit miffed the guys were even contemplating her
as a match. But I knew she wasn�t. I knew her previous bad
experience with older boys had returned to haunt her and she
simply wanted the safe normal relationship we had had. One in
which I at least respected her for who she was, not what she
could be short term. I may be a schmuck in the eyes of the senior
class but I was the one she wanted to be with whatever the
reason. I didn't care if I was a re-run of the same old same old.
I thought I loved her, and she was back.

Unfortunately the re-emergence of Matti brought about another
series of complaints from Phyllis to my mom. This time she went
straight back to mom without remonstrating with me. Following a
second call to my mother, mom rang me and said that Phyllis had
basically said I could stay until the summer break and then she
would end my boarding relationship at that point. To say I was
disappointed was an understatement. Mom told me she had pushed
back at Phyllis because she had virtually apologized once too
often for a problem she truly felt did not exist. And in reality
she had become too annoyed with this snobbish prickish attitude
displayed by the Kincaid's to bother arguing with Phyllis or
Martin. On a matter that she felt was a mother�s prerogative
anyway. And if Phyllis could not deal with a mother making the
rules for her son then Phyllis could have her snobbish views but
mom would gladly take me out of this household. Barbara cried
openly when she heard what had happened. We were in the bike shed
the morning Phyllis had announced my impending eviction in a
rather somber tone at breakfast. As if I was going to the gallows
for being such a bad boy, with no hope of redemption. Barbara had
waited for me and railed what a bitch her mother was and how she
would run away from home to be with me. In truth this loyalty
scared the hell out of me and it took some convincing Barbara
that we could do little about it and had to make the best of how
we might see each other wherever I finally moved to. We had no
more than four weeks to summer break and our sex was dampened by
the realisation this was all about to end. Instead of going full
on to maximise the contact, our encounters tended to be half
hearted sexually due to the melancholia we were both suffering
from. On the final day I rose early to catch the bus to the ferry
terminal. Barbara stayed in her room. Martin was to run me to the
bus depot and from there I would commute to the dock, 12 miles
away. Phyllis stood with her hands clasped in front of her, and
made a little speech about how unfortunate life was when people
met an impasse which could not be broken by compromise. What a
fucking charade. It really meant, "You don't see it my way, fuck
off." Not a very Christian approach for such a devout Catholic.
"What a fucking hypocrite," I thought. I simply stared at her
dully thinking of that fake dong in her socks in the nightstand.
I should blab about it. Martin stood and tried to make light of
the situation when she finished her preaching.

"You'll have a new beginning Stevie. And you'll soon move on in
life," he had said unconvincingly.

"Fucking cuckold," I thought. Like Barbara, Jarrod was nowhere to
be seen. He was no doubt more than happy to see the back end of
me whereas my little lover was grieving on her bed. I left
without saying goodbye.

I duly arrived home after the 1 hour sea journey, and mom and dad
met me at the dock. As soon as I saw mom I felt the tears well up
in my eyes. It wasn�t the stigma of being booted out by the
Kincaid�s, but the pure respect for her sticking up for me on
trust and love which hit me the instant our eyes met. Dad was way
more bullish and believed it was because I was embarrassed at my
self-made disgrace and not being able to fit in when required. He
took my bag and stalked off ahead of us. Mom gave me another hug
and pecked my cheek. I was taller than her now and she had to
stand close to reach. I felt a little embarrassed as friends and
acquaintances watched the touching reunion. But she was my mom
and to hell with me being seen as her "little boy" in other�s
eyes. I loved her with my very being and nobody�s polite sniggers
would ever get under my skin where she was concerned. She took my
arm and we followed dad off the dock, and settled into a
leisurely stroll for the ten minutes to our hillside home.

I was home. I had all holidays to get over my young lover. I had
no idea where I would be, come September but I had already vowed
I could not contact Barbara ever again. I knew I had gotten away,
so far at least, with a very heinous crime. I had an underlying
feeling that my enforced departure from the Kincaid household was
a blessing in disguise for us both. Being together under that one
roof had made it easier for us to use what precious time we got
together. Attempting a relationship from different homes was a
prospect fraught with danger. The age difference would always
make it impossible to be together publicly and sneaking in and
out of each others homes was definitely out. Therefore it was
best to take this enforced separation as a clean break. I
wondered at what point the confessional would hear her retell of
her sordid behaviour and in truth this scared me greatly. But on
the other side of the ledger, I could not change what had
occurred and I knew she did see us as a real love affair. I
harbored some belief that she would not knowingly expose what we
had shared to anyone. Not for a long time at least. In reality
this was to prove to be true.

I enjoyed my summer holiday. Helping dad on the boat as we toured
his lobster traps and the one-to-one contact saw him drop his
rather severe pose that I had brought about my own dismissal from
the Kincaids. I enjoyed the regular diet of fresh seafood. Not
just Fridays as had been the religious custom at the Kincaid�s.
And more importantly, I had daily calls from my girlfriend to
enjoy and look forward to. And despite my protests, mom had
called Shari�s mom on a number of occasions and eventually
persuaded her to let Shari visit for a few days in July. I was
secretly elated that Shari would join me and meet my folks. I
knew full well that any impropriety would be about zero, given my
mother�s strong influence on how I would behave with Shari. I�d
seen that side of her at work with my brother Eric when he
brought girlfriends to meet mom and dad. But now I was on the up.
Life was good.

The End

� 2004-2007 Romany. Protected by copyright law. Please do not
copy, edit, amend or post this on any website without the
author�s permission.

Also by Romany; �Barbara 2: Learning Moments� and �Barbara 4:
Paradise Regained� and other stories at
https://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/gypsey/romany/ 


  
Barbara3 - Losing Paradise