Date First Posted 3 Feb 2001

                        DISCLAIMER

This is a piece of fiction. Its characters have not even
begun to contemplate such things, mostly because said
characters do not exist.  Any imagined resemblance to people
living or deceased is either the result of dementia on the
reader's part or that the reader is, in fact, a character
this story.  None of these are conditions to be proud of,
and it would not be wise to draw attention to one's self by
claiming any similarity.

It is assumed that readers of this story have the permission
of the state, mom, dad, and the pastor and are able to fully
tell the difference between real and make-believe.  If not,
what are you doing reading this, loser.  Furthermore, the
writer is aware that he is bound for hell, but welcomes both
praise or/and well thoughts out, humourous insults on his
writing skill or lack there of. Note: he already knows he
cannot spell warth shet.

The events and descriptions of this story are the sole
property of Kenny N Gamera and should not be recorded,
reposted, or profited from in anyway without express written
permission of the person hiding behind that pen name.
Reposting and free archiving may be tolerated given the
writer's name and address remains attached.  Archiving by
Deja.Com and ASSTR/ASSM is assumed and encouraged.

Thank You and Good Day,
Kenny N Gamera
turtlemeat69@hotmail.com

ftp://ftp.asstr.org/pub/Authors/Gamera


                     Free Minor Repairs
                             by
                       Kenny N Gamera

                          starring

                         Katie McN
                             &
                   Claudette of the North



"Howdy? Is anyone back there?"

"Oh, I'm sorry ma'am, I was just in the back working on
somebody's order.  Are you picking something up or are you
dropping off something for us to clean?"

"Nah, I don't have any dry cleaning, but I do have some
minor repairs to be done."

"Certainly, ma'am.  Are you one of our regular customers?"

"Yep, Katie McN.  That's capital Em little cee and capital
En.  Just like the hospital, the opera house, the school,
the library, the main street, the offices of the local
Democratic Party and the offices of the local Republican
Party,..."

"I wasn't aware that both of them..."

"Yep, my Daddy wanted the whole market cornered as far as
politicians went.  Hell, the local Reformed Party is a wholly
owned subsidiary of McN Industries."

"It says here on my computer that your address is McN Manor,
ma'am.  Is that correct?"

"Hell No!  That's where my loser bother lives with his
trailer park trash wife and their snotty nosed brats.  I
wouldn't be caught dead in that run down shack.  I live at
Stately McN Manor.  That's esse, tee, ay, tee, ee, elle,
wye.  Damn, you guys can never seem to get that fixed,
though that may explain where all of Hecate's dresses go and
why that cheap whore of a sister'n'law of mine has been
dressing nicer.  Poor Hecate, every time see comes to
visit, she winds up naked and getting everyone so wet that
you'd think that the pipes were broke.

"On second thought, don't fix that address; Hecate is coming
over from England in a week."

"Yes, ma'am.  And how could I help you today?"

"Well, I got some minor repairs to be done and your sign
says that you do 'Free Minor Repairs,' so here I am to get
them done."

"Normally, we would do a repair only if we also dry
cleaning..."

"I don't think that Claudette would like that."

"Claudette? Oh is that the young woman behind you."

<<Sacre Bleu!>>

"Yep, that's our Claudette."

<<Mon Dieu!>>

"But as I was going to say for a customer like you, we are
allowed to make an exception."

"Good, Claudette likes it a little rough like Lexi, but I
doubt that she would like getting dry-cleaned.  Now
Claudette, you stay with the nice man and I'll be back to
get you, before Aunt Hecate arrives.  You be good now, you
hear."

<<Quel un petit bite!>>

"Wait, Ms. McN? You're leave her with us?"

"Hell yeah!  You don't expect me to stay here while you fix
her, now do you?"

"You want us to fix her?"

"Yes, why do you think I brought her here?  It wasn't to get
her dry-cleaned.  I mean, even I have my limits."

"But she's a girl?"

"Fourteen years old."

"We can't fix a little girl!"

"What? you just do little boys?  Though you do look like you
may play that end of the field."

"No, we do not fix little boys, either."

"That sounds funny, 'don't FIX little boys.'  Though maybe
someone should think about it.  They would probably be a lot
less of a problem that way."

"No, ma'am it's just that..."

"So, I'll just leave Claudette here and you just drop her
off at...  Whoops! Let's get that address changed.  I don't
want my brother getting his hands on her.  Okay, that was
esse, tee, ay..."

"No, ma'am..."

"Listen, buddy!  I think that I have a better idea of where
I live than you."

"No, ma'am. I mean that I am sure you do.  It's just
that..."

"Listen here, if I flew that way, which I don't despite
whatever you may have heard from Denny Wheeler, the big
liar, I would have about a dozen of you for breakfast,
scrambled up in my eggs."

"...you can't leave her here."

"Hell, I don't think that see could be fixed in a house
call, so I just leave her here and you take her back to
Stately McN Manor when you're done.  That's esse, tee,..."

"Yes, ma'am.  But you can't leave her here."

"And why in tarnation not?"

"Because we can't fix her."

"How the hell would you know?  You ain't even looked at her
yet."

"We don't fix little girls."

"She ain't little.  She's fourteen."

"But..."

"And the sign says you fix minors for free; so fix her."

"We don't fix little girls."

<<Ou est les voyagers?>>

"If you don't fix little girls and you don't fix little
boys, what do you fix?"

"Clothes."

"Clothes?  Your sign says you fix minors.  Em, eye, en, oh,
are.  There is a minor, start fixing."

"You don't understand..."

<<Ou est les bagages?>>

"No, little man, you don't understand.  Last night, KatieR
takes Claudette to a party to keep boyfriends busy while she
figures who is good for a fuck or two as a blackmailed sex
slave.  Usually, this is no problem.  Hell, Claudette can
out fuck all of us at Stately McN Manor.  We can usually get
through the girls at a party okay, but Claudette can do the
girls, the boys, the chaperones, the Texas Rangers who come
to break the whole thing up, and we still have to send her
to Australia..."

"Why is she prancing around my store, flapping her arms, and
bleating like a sheep?"

"She's broke; I told you that.  Key-rice!  As I was saying,
we still have to send her to Australia to work it out of
her system.  Heck, after the Virtual Solisis, we had to work
her at a place in Bangkok for a month to keep her from
raping the pet platypus.

"But after last night, she just babbles in French, prances
around the rooms while flapping her arms, and bleats like a
sheep.  Darned if I know what KatieR did to her this time.
But with Hecate coming in town and KatieR grounded, we need
to get Claudette fixed so as me and Lexi can get a
breather."

"So you're saying that you will leave that little fourteen-
year-old girl with us?  A fourteen year old girl who is now
dressed in a pair of four-inch stiletto heels..."

"Five-inch."

"Pardon?"

"They're five-inch heels."

"Oh, my mistake.  ...five-inch stiletto heels, silk
stockings and lace garters, a micro-mini, no panties if I
haven't miss my guess after that last prance,..."

"Probably not."

"...and clearly no bra beneath that white blouse and got a
screw knocked loose at an orgy."

"Yep."

"Anything else?"

"Well, you know that old saying about sucking the chrome off
a trailer hitch?"

"Yes."

"She could suck the car off a trailer hitch, but she didn't
seem all that interested in taking care of that guy in the
rain coat we caught in the linen closet this morning."

"Okay, Ms McN.  Maybe we can see what we can do to...uh...I
mean, with her. And you need her in a week?"

"Yep, and ready to lick British beaver."

"And that was to STATELY McN Manor?"

"Yes."

"And that is esse, tee, ay, tee, ee, elle, wye?"

"Yes."

"Very good, ma'am.  And if you will come with me Claudette.
I'll see if I can make you all better."

_________________________________________________________________

Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
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