
THE MEASURE OF MAN

An Epic by Gil Gamesh

Chapter Sixty-One

As for you, Gilgamesh, fill your belly with good things; day and night, night and day, dance and be merry, feast and rejoice. Let your clothes be fresh, bathe yourself in water, cherish the little child that holds your hand, and make your wife happy in your embrace; for this too is the measure of man.


CAST OF CHARACTERS:
Arial Stuart, 16
Kerry Stuart, 12 3/4
Nicole Whittaker, 15

TELLING THE STORY
Kerry Stuart

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(KERRY)

“It’s called A Kiss from Your Lips by a group named the Flamingos. Want to hear it?”

“Yeah! Let’s go.”

I detoured on the way to the basement to pick up my backpack. Mrs. Whittaker always made us put all our stuff down there when we practiced. Down in the basement everything was just like it had been last time. There was an old couch against one wall and a bunch of worn-out chairs scattered around. I dropped my backpack near the couch and stood waiting, wondering what was going to happen. Nicole went to the little stereo on the table, searched through some CDs, found one, and put it in. She fiddled with the controls until she found the right track and started the song.

“A kiss, from your lips, changed my whole life around…”

The lyrics weren’t much. If it was doo-wop music, I guess it was OK. If kids liked it back in the Fifties, maybe they’d like it in the musical. It was a lot better than the crap they call rap. 

Nicole started dancing by herself, just slowly moving, with her eyes closed. I watched her and listened to the song. It wasn’t more than two or three minutes long. I could have watched her for hours. When it was finished, she hit the stop button and motioned for me to come to her.

“I put it on repeat. When it starts, I want you to dance with me and do just what I say. The next time, I want you to do everything without me telling you. The third time, you do it about the same, maybe little changes so it’s like you think it needs to be done, you know, like Peewee and his girl are getting lost in it.”

She held her hands and I moved close and held her like we were about to dance. She pushed me back a little, hit the play button, and the song started again.

“A kiss, from your lips, changed my whole life around…”

“We start out with our bodies not touching, like maybe six inches apart,” she said. “You’re looking in my eyes.”

I danced slowly with her, trying to keep my eyes locked on hers, to be serious about it, and to act like a kid from the Fifties, even if I didn’t know how they acted.

“A kiss from your lips, holds a story still untold…”

The second stanza started and she pulled me close up against her. I could feel her breasts against my chest and her stomach and thighs against mine. She put her hand behind my head and pulled my head up beside hers.

“I've loved for many years…”

The third stanza started, she stopped moving, and so did I. We just stood there, against each other, swaying together. We were about as close as we could possibly be. I wasn’t sure this would work, especially if I got a hard-on, and I didn’t think I could keep from it.

The last stanza started and I figured this was where I was supposed to kiss her. I kissed her lightly on the lips and stopped. She looked at me and smiled.

“That was very good, Kerry. Can you do it now?”

I nodded and the music started again. I figured it would be better if we gradually got closer and closer together, not suddenly, and that’s what I did.

When the second stanza started, I slowly moved my head closer and closer until it was beside hers. I thought of something else I wanted to do, something Peewee might do. I dropped both my hands down to her behind and cupped them under her buns. She dropped her hands down to my butt and we pressed against each other and gradually slowed down. When the song ended, she stopped moving, looked at me, and grinned. Then she reached over to the stereo and punched the pause button.

“This won’t do, Kerry. Kids in the Fifties weren’t like we are today. You’ve got to keep your hands off my butt.”

I didn’t move my hands and she didn’t either. Up top, she was leaned back away from me. Down below, she was pressed up against me. My dick knew it and tried to do something but it couldn’t do much under my shorts and my briefs. She moved her hips around against me a little and I knew she felt how hard it was.

“Well, it was worth a try,” I said. “If I can’t put my hands on your butt, I think I ought to gradually slide them down close to it. That’s what Peewee would want to do. Could I slide my hands down the rest of the way just when the lights go out?”

“That might be OK on the stage,” she said, smiling at me. “While we’re practicing, maybe you’d better not let them get below my waist.”

I pulled her against me a little tighter so she could feel my dick and then moved my hands back up above her waist. She moved hers up too and pressed harder against me down below.

“You’re bad, Kerry,” she said. “You’ve got to keep your mind on the dance routine.”

“Damn, I’ll try,” I said with a loud sign. “But it’ll be hard.”

She giggled, shoved her pelvis against mine, and pushed me away.

“Well, you’d better learn to control it when you’re in front of maybe a thousand people.”

“OK, I’ll try to do it right. Start it up again.”

“A kiss, from your lips, changed my whole life around…”

This time I really did try to do it right. At first we were moving, gradually getting closer to each other, then we stopped moving and just began swaying, holding each other, and then I kissed her again. I tried to be good. I just kissed her lightly on the lips, not like I wanted to, and then put my head beside hers. My hands were just below her waist where I could feel the beginning of the soft curve of her buns. I was pressed up tight against her. My dick couldn’t be good, though. It was as hard as it could get when it was bent down in my shorts, and I knew she could feel it.

“That’s very good, Kerry,” she whispered. “I like that.”

“Yeah, me too.” I didn’t know what she liked but I knew what I liked.

The song started again but neither one of us moved. She slowly slid her hands down onto my butt and so I slid mine down around hers and tried to cup my fingers over her buns right in the center. I could hear her breathing in my ear and I knew she could hear me. My heart was thumping so hard I could feel it all over. I was hot and I felt sweat trickle down from one armpit. 

“Could we try it one more time?” she whispered. “Then maybe you could kiss me like Peewee kisses his girlfriend.”

We held each other and waited for the song to begin again. When it did, we tried to dance, both of us with our hands still on each other’s butts, but it didn’t work very well. I just pulled her against me and moved in one place and so did she. When the third stanza started, I opened my eyes for a second and looked at her. Her eyes were closed and her face was tilted up just a little. I kissed her.

It wasn’t just a little touch of lips. I guess we both opened at the same time and I felt her tongue touch mine. I tried to catch her tongue with my lips but she wouldn’t let me. She tried to bite my tongue but I wouldn’t let her. We just stood there holding each other as closely as we could with our mouths open to each other while the song played all the way through again. I felt like I was about to explode. I couldn’t breathe deeply enough but I didn’t want to take my mouth off hers. 

She backed up, sort of pushing me, and I felt the couch behind my legs. She pushed again, I fell on the couch, and she fell on top of me, straddling me, with her head next to mine. I didn’t know what she wanted but I knew what I wanted and I hoped we wanted the same thing. I couldn’t believe she wanted to do it with me but she was acting like it.

She lifted up over me and I looked at her face. She was staring at me, no smile on her face now, just serious, and I tried to guess what she wanted. She didn’t say anything, just looked at me. When she shut her eyes, turned her head at a slight angle, and lowered her face to mine, I turned my head at an opposite angle and shut my eyes. She started kissing me again with her mouth open to mine and I decided to see how far I could get.

I slid my hands up between us, up under her knit shirt, until I found her breasts. They were just little soft mounds under my hands with hard little bumps in the center of my palms. She didn’t stop me so I rubbed my hands over them while we kept kissing. After a minute or so, she stopped and rose up a little. Her shirt stayed pushed up and I saw what I had been touching – beautiful little breasts with hard little nipples sticking out.

She pushed my shirt up as far as it would go and I lifted and she pushed it up farther. She lay down on me again, her mouth open with mine, her breasts hot against my chest, and I moved my hands around to her butt again. I pulled against her so that she rubbed against me. My dick was hurting, bent down in my shorts, and I pushed it up against her. 

“Kerry, I want to do it!” she whispered in my ear. “Do you?”

“Yeah!” I said. I couldn’t think of anything else that needed saying. I knew what she meant.

She slid back until she was straddling my knees, undid my belt, unbuttoned my shorts, and tried to pull them down. I lifted up my butt and she pulled them down to the middle of my thighs. I caught the heels of my sneakers with my toes and kicked them off. She looked down at my crotch and I just waited. I had on some of the little briefs Arial had bought for me and my dick was still bent downwards over my balls and trying to rip out.

She slid her hands up my legs, to my crotch, and cupped them over the front of my briefs. I tried to move my legs apart but I couldn’t with her sitting on them. She moved her hands around to my hips and caught the waistband of my briefs. I lifted my butt again and she pulled them down so they turned inside out. We both watched as my dick straightened up all by itself, got hard, and stuck up over my stomach. As usual, my foreskin slowly retracted all by itself until about half of the head of my dick was uncovered.

“Damn, you’re no peewee, Kerry,” she whispered.

She stood up beside the couch, pulled my shorts off my feet, and then pulled my briefs down and off. She pulled her shorts and panties off together, and then looked at me. I pulled my shirt over my head and she did too. She smiled at me and then got back on top of me, all of it in just a few seconds. I got one quick glance at a little dark matt of hair and then I felt it pressed against my dick.

She sat there on top of me, with my dick pushed down against my stomach and her pubic hair against my balls and the base of my dick. Her head was bent down and I knew she was looking down between her legs. I looked down too at where she was sitting, and all I could see was the part of my dick sticking out from under her little tangle of hair.

I knew we were going to do it so I tried to remember what Dad had told me about never getting in a hurry and making sure she enjoyed what we did and some other stuff I couldn’t think of just then.

I knew what I wanted to do but what she was doing was just fine with me so I waited for her to do something, whatever it was. She put both her hands on my chest and started wiggling around and sliding back and forth. At first, all I felt was just hair and then I felt something damp and hot and wetter and slipperier as she moved around. I could tell she had my dick right under her pussy. I looked up at her and she had her eyes closed and a funny expression on her face. I put my hands on her thighs, shut my eyes, and let her play.

Suddenly she stopped and lifted up, reached down to my dick, held it, sat back down, and my dick slid inside her, buried to my balls, all in a second. I couldn’t say anything. It felt so damn good and I wanted to feel it again and again, the way it felt on my dick as it slid in her. I tried to push up into her while she was trying to push herself down on me.

Suddenly, something popped up in my mind and I remembered something else Dad and everybody had told me – that I always had to be responsible and think about using a rubber. I panicked. I realized I was about to fuck up, royally fuck up. I wrapped my arms around her and tried to roll her off to one side. She resisted and I realized I was about to drop her on the floor beside the couch. I rolled the other way with her, against the back of the couch, and twisted my way out from under her. I stood up beside the couch, gulping and trying to swallow, trying to breathe, my heart pounding. I knew I had just about let myself do what Dad had warned me about more than once.

“What’s wrong, Kerry?” she asked, lying there on her back looking at me. Her breasts were just little mounds but her nipples were hard little points. Her belly was a little bowl. And down there between her legs, there were those little lips wet and glistening, separated, all pink and red. I’d never seen anything more beautiful in my life.

“Shit, we’re about to do something stupid,” I said. “Are you on the pill?”

“No! Oh, shit! We are stupid. Stupid! I’m stupid. Damn, I’m stupid.’

I knelt down beside the couch, held her by the arms, and kissed her lightly just on her nose. I pulled back and looked in her eyes. 

“You’re beautiful, Nicole, so damn beautiful.” I leaned over and kissed her on the lips.

She lay there breathing heavily, looking up into my eyes. It was like we were even more connected than when we were dancing.

“Am I? You’re beautiful too, Kerry.”

“You’re not stupid, Nicole. I am. Dad’s talked to me lots about stuff like this and how you forget to think about what you need to do to be safe. I just couldn’t think about anything but how beautiful you are and how much I wanted you.”

She squeezed her eyes together tightly and then blinked rapidly a few times. I could see the moisture in her eyes shining. I wondered if she was about to cry. 

“What are we going to do, Kerry?” she said, her voice kind of funny like a little girl’s. She pulled my head down beside hers and I kissed her on her ear.

“I’ve got something,” I whispered.

“What?” she said, directly in my ear.

“Some condoms, you know, rubbers. Dad gave me some.”

She pushed me up a little so she could look at me and then smiled.

“Really?”

I nodded.

“Where are they?”

“In my backpack.”

“Get them!”

I crawled on my hands and knees down to the end of the couch, found my backpack, and dragged it back toward where she was lying. Her legs were still slightly parted and I could see the little pink lips, wet and shiny, inside her bigger lips. I thought of something I wanted to do, something I had to do.

I found the little side pocket where I’d put the condoms, unzipped it, and reached inside it. They were still there - three of them. I pulled them out and held them up for her to see. She took them out of my hand and read.

“LifeStyles, Ultra Sensitive, Lubricated Condom. Are they good ones?”

“I don’t know. Dad says they are. I’ve never used one.”

She looked at me curiously.

“Never?”

“No, not with a girl.”

She frowned. “Did you use one with a guy?”

“Shit no, Nicole! I’ve never used one with anybody. Dad told me to practice putting one on and jacking off with it. He said I needed to know how it felt, said it wasn’t like doing it without one. That’s all I’ve done with them.”

“Can I put one on you?” she asked.

“Not yet. I want to do something else first.”

“What?”

I didn’t answer her. I just leaned over and fastened my mouth on hers. She put one hand behind my head and the other on my back. I put my hand on her breast and we played tongue tag with each other for a while. It was good but it wasn’t quite what I wanted.

After a minute or so, I moved my mouth down to her breast, slid my right hand down over her stomach and cupped my fingers down between her legs. I moved my left hand up to her face, feeling for her mouth, and found it already open. I stuck one finger in her mouth and she sucked on it. I tugged her legs a little further apart and put my hand back over her pussy. I wiggled my middle finger around between those slippery little lips and rubbed it side to side, then down into her vagina, wet and hot as hell, then back up to see if I could find her clit. I guess I did. She tried to bite my finger. All of it was good too but it still wasn’t quite what I wanted.

I decided to try to be slow. For a minute or so, I finger-fucked her and sucked on her nipple while she sucked on my finger and held my head to her breast. Then I decided to see if she would let me do what I wanted to do.

Still on my knees beside the couch, I moved down toward her feet. She raised her head and looked at me. I smiled at her, pulled her left leg to one side until her foot was on the floor, then lifted her right leg, and put her foot up on the back of the couch. I looked down at her pussy. It was all open and pink and red and ready for me. I leaned over and put my face between her legs.

“What are you doing, Kerry?” she whispered.

I looked up at her. “You know fucking well what I’m doing, Nicole. Just shut up.”

“Kerry, nobody’s ever done that to me. Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. Shut up and enjoy it. I’m going to.”

I put my head back down and took a couple of deep breaths, just so I could take my time doing what I wanted to do. I breathed in the woman smell of her, the scent of a woman’s pussy when she’s hot and wanting. I’d smelled it on different women and they were all the same but they were all different too. I guess my dick could smell it too. It was so hard it was almost aching.

I tried to be slow and gentle with her so she’d like it, especially if it was her first time. I just used the tip of my tongue against her little inner lips, especially where they spread out like two little wings. After a minute or so, I used my thumbs to spread her pussy open more and looked down at it. Hers looked a lot like Arial’s, kind of small and neat and clean. I just licked it where Arial had told me she liked it, all of the bright pink area from her vagina up to her clitoris.

I felt her fingers on my temples, just holding me lightly, not trying to push me away. The smell of her was in my nose, the taste of her was in my mouth, and I was so damned hot I wanted to do something else and I tried to think of what. Finally I opened my mouth as wide as I could, fastened it over as much of her pussy as I could, and tried to suck her into me. I pulled back to breathe, looked at her cunt, not pussy, cunt now, and then did it again and again. Then I stiffened my tongue and stuck it down in her vagina, slid it up slowly to her clit, and then did that again and again.

I kept my eyes open so I could see what was happening to her clit, if it was creeping out from under its cover, like Arial’s does. After a little, it did; the little red devil crept out so I could lick it. Hers stuck out more than any I’d ever seen, like the tip of my little finger. I just used my lips to suck on it as gently as I could.

Nicole pulled my hair hard so I looked up at her. I knew that scrunched up look on her face was because she liked what I was doing, not because I was hurting her. I liked what I was doing too; I wanted to keep doing it.

“Kerry, you’ll make me come if you keep doing that,” she whispered.

“Yeah, that’s the idea,” I said.

“Don’t, please, I want you inside me when I come.”

She held her hand out to me with one of the rubbers between her fingers. I took it and stood up. I saw her eyes shift down to my dick, pointed up toward the ceiling. I saw a shiny drop at the slit on the head and I knew it was starting to drool pecker tracks. Shit, it had been hard long enough to drool something.

I caught the foil wrapper between my teeth, tore it open, and started to unroll the rubber down my dick. I was standing beside the couch, just a couple of feet away from Nicole’s face. She was looking up at my dick as I tried to roll the rubber down it. My hands were shaking too much and I couldn’t get it started unrolling. I was looking down at her face, just beyond my dick, thinking about how much I wanted her. Then she started grinning.

“Kerry, turn it over,” she whispered. “You’re trying to unroll it the wrong way.”

I looked at my dick, at the condom I had been trying to unroll, then at her face. No wonder it wouldn’t roll down. I’d been trying to unroll it wrong.

“Oh, fuck,” I groaned. I knew she probably thought I was just a stupid kid and didn’t even know how to put a rubber on right. I was trying so fucking hard to be grown up about doing it with her and I couldn’t even put a fucking rubber on my own fucking dick. I felt sick with myself.

“It’s OK, Kerry,” Nicole whispered. “You weren’t watching what you were doing. I know you were looking at my face. I was looking at your dick and your hands and the rubber.”

I did it right the second time. I held my foreskin back, rolled the condom on part way, pinched the air out of the end, rolled it back the rest of the way, and then rubbed the head of my dick to spread the lube around. When I got through, I looked back at her face. She was grinning again.

“Shit, Nicole, don’t laugh at me,” I pleaded.

She reached up, cupped her fingers under my balls, and held them. I let her squeeze them and roll them around and feel them for a little while, just waiting. When she used her fingernails back behind my balls, I think my dick would have ratcheted up another notch if it could. 

“Kerry, I’m not laughing at you,” she said. “I’m having fun with you. I’ve never seen a guy do that before. You’re beautiful without that thing. I just hate you have to put it on.”

“I guess I don’t have to,” I teased, “if you’re ready to have a baby.”

“Let’s wait a while on that,” she said, and then stood up.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Nothing,” she said. “You lie down. I want to get on top.”

I didn’t mind. I didn’t care which way we did it just as long as we did it. I lay down with my head on the arm of the couch, stretched out, with my ankles crossed. I held my dick straight up with my thumbs and curled my fingers down around over my balls. She straddled me, one foot on the floor, one knee on the couch, leaned over, and kissed me on the tip of my nose. 

“You’re one sexy guy, Kerry. Did you know you could fuck half the girls in school if you tried?”

“What’s wrong with the other half?” I joked.

She reached back with one hand, held my dick, and settled down a little more. Even with the rubber, I could still feel how hot she was, how slippery too but maybe that was just the stuff in the rubber. I couldn’t really tell much difference. She positioned the head in the right place, pulled her hand out, and pushed down a little. I shut my eyes as my dick slid into her. It was good, just as good as it had been the first time, the best kind of feeling I’d ever felt.

I folded my arms back with my hands open and up and she settled her breasts into them. She moved up and down slowly a couple of more times and then stopped, with my dick mostly inside her. I opened my eyes and peeked at her. Her face was just over mine. She had her eyes shut and she looked like she liked it a much as I did. I put one hand behind her head, pulled her face down to mine, and opened my mouth to hers. I reached down and curled my fingers around so I could feel her pussy stretched around my dick. I liked that, using my fingers to feel the lips of her pussy while my dick was in it. She kept moving up and down slowly and I just lay there and enjoyed it.

After a little, she moved her head to the side of mine and I felt her open mouth on my shoulder. It felt like she was sort of licking and biting and sucking. While she was doing that she started moving up and down harder and faster, almost bouncing herself off me. I moved my other hand down to her butt and curled both of them around so I could feel my dick going in her pussy. I played with her lips with my fingertips while she moved her ass up and down. She started grunting just barely loud enough for me to hear her. I felt her mouth fasten on my shoulder harder and then I felt her little pussy throbbing and gripping on my dick.

She turned her face sideways, into the side of mine, and let out a big breath. She wasn’t moving any more, just breathing hard. I was thinking about doing something so I could come too.

“Let’s roll over. Can we?” she whispered.

I wrapped my arms around her, turned so she was against the side of the couch, moved back a little, and turned again until she was on her back with me over her. She spread her legs wider, wrapped them around mine, put her arms around me with her hands on my butt, and wiggled a little until my dick slid all the way in her again. I liked the way we did that, turning over with my dick in her and it never came out while we were flipping. I just lay there, still, with my dick inside her and my face in her hair and between her head and the back of the couch.

“Kerry, are you OK?” she whispered.

“Yeah, what do you mean?”

“Did you come?”

“Naah, not yet,” I whispered in her hair. “It’s just too good like this. I’m just a cunt hair away from coming and I don’t want it to end.”

She giggled. “A cunt hair?”

“Yeah, that means I’m real close.”

“How close?”

She dug her fingernails into me somewhere back behind my balls and I tried to shove another six inches into her. I didn’t have that much more so I backed off and gave her all of it again. That was so good I kept doing it. It didn’t take but a few times until I felt myself coming. I shoved it in one last time and came until I thought I’d pass out.

I just lay there on top of her until my heart stopped banging away and my breathing slowed down. Nicole had me all wrapped up. Her legs were around me somehow so that her heels were on my ass. One arm was around my chest, holding me tight against her. One hand was behind my head, holding it down with my face still in her hair. I didn’t want to move but I knew I was supposed to.

“Nicole, I’ve got to get up,” I whispered.

“Why?”

“A guy’s supposed to be careful after he comes with a rubber on,” I said. “If his dick gets soft his stuff can leak out of the rubber. He’s supposed to hold the rubber when he pulls out so it doesn’t spill.” 

“Who taught you all this?”

“Mostly my Dad. Kavan some too. I read a lot. I’ve been looking up lots of stuff since I got my new computer.”

“But you’re not soft yet.”

“Well, it’s not all the way hard either.”

“Can we do it again?”

“Yeah, but I’m not supposed to do it twice with one rubber. That’s dangerous. We’ve got to use another one.”

“Maybe you’d better save them, Kerry,” she said. “I think we’d better stop. It’s not long until Mom’s due home.”

She turned me loose. I reached down, held the rubber against the base of my dick, and pulled it out of her pussy. I stood up and looked down at my dick. It looked all messy with white stuff in the little nipple at the end and around the head of my dick. I shifted my gaze to Nicole’s face. She was looking at it too. She reached up toward my dick and I pushed her hand to one side.

“It’s all messy,” I said, like she didn’t know it.

“Let me take it off,” she whispered.

“Shit, why?”

“I don’t know, Kerry. I just want to.”

“Oh fuck, OK.”

She caught my dick with one hand and the end of the rubber with the other. She slid one hand forward and tugged on the rubber. It didn’t slide so she reached back and rolled it down a little. When she tried again, it slid forward and off part way. Then something hurt like hell and I stuck my butt back and tried to get away from her.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Fuck, I don’t know.”

She sat up on the couch and looked down at my dick with the rubber hanging half way off it. It had got a little soft after I came but now it was really drooping its head. I looked closer and saw what was wrong. Some strands of my pubic hair were rolled up in the rubber.

I rolled it back down the shaft of my dick until I saw the hair come out, then stretched it out on both sides, and pulled it part way off. It started to turn inside out so I grabbed the end and pulled. It slid off and I stood there, feeling like the world’s biggest dummy, with my slimy rubber in my hand. Nicole started laughing and I gave in and laughed too.

She stood up, grabbed my hand, and pulled me over to the deep sink next to the washing machine. She tore off a paper towel section and held it out toward me. I looked at her, at her big grin and the way her eyes were sparkling at me. I dropped the rubber on the paper towel; she folded it up into a neat little square and then handed it to me.

“What am I supposed to do with it?” I asked. Dummy!

“I don’t know, Kerry. You can keep it for a souvenir, throw it in the bushes on your way home, just don’t leave it around here for Mom to find.”

Nicole wet a towel, wiped me clean, and then wiped between her legs. I didn’t even care that it was a towel from their dirty laundry. Just her hand on my dick was enough to make it twitch and start swelling a little. I wished we did have time to do it again. She kissed me on the cheek and we went back to the couch and picked up our clothes.

I guess I shouldn’t have done it but I just did it anyway. I grabbed her, pulled her to me, and kissed her. I felt like I wanted to drown myself in her and I pushed against her while I pulled her against me. I got all wet and slobbery trying to suck on her lips and tongue but she didn’t push me off. Damn, I’d just fucked her and here I was wanting to do it again so bad it hurt. My dick jumped back up and I poked it against her wishing I could find where it went again.

She put one hand on my chest and pushed me back. I stood looking at her. I wanted her so damn bad and I think she wanted me the same way.

“Lay down on the couch,” she whispered.

I stretched out on the couch again, just like before, and she straddled me, just like before. I couldn’t say anything, even when she reached down between her legs, held my dick, and pushed until it was buried in her pussy.

“Don’t you dare move, you little fucker. I’ll kill you if you do,” she whispered through clenched teeth.

I just lay there, looking at her face, feeling her pussy all hot and wet around my dick. It was better than it was with the rubber. I wanted so much to fuck her again. Maybe she knew what I wanted.

She moved off me, scooted back until she was sitting on my thighs, grabbed my dick in one hand, and started jacking me. It probably didn’t take more than a minute until I squirted out a few strings and puddles on my stomach.

She ran back to the laundry area, came back with a towel, and cleaned me up again. We got dressed, just looking at each other and grinning.

“Kerry, we are being stupid,” she said. “We shouldn’t have done this.”

“I know.”

“We can’t keep doing it with each other. Please don’t ask me to let you.”

“Yeah, I know. You’re right. We can’t do it no matter how much we want to. Your Mom will be pissed at me. She’ll probably never let me back in your house. It doesn’t make any sense but the way I want you doesn’t make any sense either.”

“Well, I wanted you just as much, maybe more. Were you surprised, that girls can want it just like guys?”

“Naah, my parents have taught me a lot about sex. I know we’re not really different. Boys like it. Girls like it. That’s why we do it, even if it’s stupid.”

“Yeah, so damn stupid. So fucking stupid. I want to do it again.”

“Me too.”

“Yeah, but we can’t. I mean it, Kerry. If you’re going to play Peewee, we can’t keep doing this with each other. I’m not ever going to say I love you. I like you a lot but I’m not going to let myself go crazy over you. I’ve got too much I want to do to get serious over a guy. You’ve got to get some will power.”  

“Fuck that! I don’t need will power; I need won’t power.”

She giggled. “You’re bad. I’m bad too.”

“Yeah, but it was good, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

We went upstairs and she started toward the kitchen.

“Where are you going?” I asked.

“To the kitchen,” she said. “Let’s wait for Mom in there. I’ll get her to drive you home.”

“You don’t need to do that, Nicole,” I said. “It’s not that far. I’ll walk.”

“Are you sure? It’s a little far.”

“Naah, about two miles. It won’t take me long.”

We went to the front door and she held it open for me.

“Just be careful, Kerry. You’ve got to cross Deer Creek Parkway. Traffic’s bad there.”

I took her hand and held it against my heart. She looked at me.

“What is it?”

“Just my heart. Can I give it to you? I’m not supposed to say I love you.”

“I know, Kerry. We can’t say that. You keep your heart. Just keep me in it, OK?”

“OK.”

I kissed her on the cheek and started to leave. She grabbed me and gave me a kiss on the lips. She took a couple of deep breaths, sighed, and smiled at me. I looked back a couple of times as I was going down the hill. Each time she was standing there looking at me. Each time I waved and she waved back.

When I got out of sight of her house, I started to run. I felt like jumping and screaming something but I was afraid somebody might see me and think I was crazy. My backpack almost slipped off and I stopped and stood still and tightened the straps. The song started running through my head – A kiss from your lips, turned my whole life around. A kiss like yours… I wanted to sing it. I looked all around and didn’t see anybody so I tried it.

“A kiss from your lips, turned my whole life around. A kiss like yours, no where can be found. Gee gee….”

That’s when my voice fucked up. I couldn’t do the “gee gee” like the guy from the Platters did it. I tried just the first two lines again. It sounded good to me, at least as good as in the song.

I started thinking about trying to sing in the musical, maybe even learning the song, and then springing it on Nicole and the group. But who could I get to help me? I thought of Dad’s connection with the opera and the chorus director I’d met once. Dad had asked me more than once to take a kid’s part where no singing was required. Maybe I could ask him how to get some help learning to sing a little. Shit, maybe I could even do a little part for the opera. 

At the bottom of the hill, I started running again and jumped a couple of times. It felt good to let some of it out. I looked around and saw a man standing in his yard, watching me. I waved at him and he waved back. I wanted to tell him what I’d done.

Going up the next hill, I started thinking about wanting to tell Nicole I loved her. It didn’t make sense that I couldn’t say it. I don’t think love is like a light switch – on and you’ve got to be together the rest of your life, off and you’re not supposed to fuck each other. I’d told Kathryn I loved her and I meant it and Kavan didn’t seem to mind. I knew it was probably the last time I’d ever fuck her and I wanted her to know how much she meant to me. That’s love, isn’t it? I’m going to miss her.

Somebody’s cocker spaniel came running out of a yard, barking at me, and then wagging its tail hard enough to break it off. I stopped to pet it and it turned over and let me scratch its stomach. When I looked up, a lady was standing near some bushes watching. She waved at me and I waved back. She called the dog and it ran to her. I guess dogs can love people too.

When I started down the next hill, somebody drove past in a little BMW like Mom’s except that it was a darker color. I knew I loved Mom, probably loved her more than anybody else. All my life she’s the one I’ve gone to when something was wrong and I couldn’t make it right. All she had to do was hold me and I always knew it was OK, whatever it was. I could remember being little and she’d hold me against her naked breasts and rub my head. Dad never seemed to mind if I touched her breasts and I’m glad because that was part of what made it all OK. I guess I don’t do that much anymore but now I like to bury my face in her hair while she holds me. That’s love too. She loves me. She knows I love her. I know I’m not supposed to but I probably would make love to her if she’d let me. I probably never will but I’ll always love her anyway.

Just before I got to Deer Creek Parkway, I pulled the paper towel with the rubber in it out of my pocket. I started to throw it down the steep hillside in an area thick with vines but that didn’t seem right. I put it back in my pocket and kept walking.

Who else have I loved, do I love, whatever? I love Ms. Lauren. She might be old enough to be my grandmother but it’s not like that. With her, I didn’t feel like a little kid making love with an old woman. It was just like I was a man loving a woman and that’s all. She was so kind and sweet with me, treating me the way she did. She’s a real lady. I guess Mr. Jack thought I was joking when I told him to make up his mind whether he wanted to marry her because, if he didn’t, I did. I can’t spend my life with her but I can always love her. 

On the other side of Deer Creek Parkway, I passed over a small bridge with a little stream running underneath. I stopped, looked down in the clear water, and thought about what I’d done with Nicole. I looked inside myself and I knew I loved her and I couldn’t have done it with her if I didn’t love her.

 I took the towel out of my pocket, dropped it, and watched it swirl away down the stream. I didn’t need it for a souvenir. I thought about the way she’d looked, lying there on the couch, when I stood up after doing it with her, legs parted, pussy wet and shiny, breasts soft with nipples hardly sticking up, face so beautiful, eyes connecting with me. I didn’t need the rubber. The image of her like that was all I wanted for a souvenir. Her eyes didn’t lie about how she felt, no matter how much she refused to say it.

I cut through the church yard to get to the street leading uphill to our house. The rest of the way I knew I had to be careful because our neighborhood was so hilly we didn’t have sidewalks. I had to walk in the road or on the side but the traffic was usually pretty light.

I thought about what I did with Joanne when I spent Saturday night with her and Stuart. I guess Stuart and I are getting pretty close. We’re so much alike even if we don’t have the same mother. I know he does a lot to encourage me to use my brains, like trying to teach me about his research. I just didn’t think he’d let me sleep with him and Joanne. It was fun fooling around with them, just like it is with Arial and Brad. I don’t guess I’ve learned to love Joanne yet, like I love Rachael, but I haven’t known her that long. She treated me sort of like Ms. Lauren does, like I could do stuff with her and she liked it just like she did with Stuart. Maybe I can. I probably know more about sex than kids my age usually do.

Just before I started up the hill to our house, Kurt Carlson drove past. He’s about Kavan’s age and lives further up our street. He stopped and pulled off the road and waited for me. When I got up to his car, he asked me if I wanted a ride up the hill. I told him I’d rather walk the rest of the way and we talked a little. He wanted me to tell him about my duel with Aaron so I did. I didn’t tell him how we’d rigged it.

Going up the hill, I tried to sort out how I felt about Rachael and Joanne and why it was different. I’ve known Rachael since I was real little and she’s become sort of like a sister, except I’ve never fucked my real sister. I guess we’ve done everything else except that. I know Rachael loves me because she’s always said I was like her little brother. When we were at the cabin, she sure didn’t treat me like a brother. We did stuff I’d really never thought of doing with a woman but that wasn’t what I think about when I think of her. I think about the way she made me feel, the way I felt so close and loved by her when we were doing everything.

When I got closer to our house, I looked and saw Arial sitting on our front porch, reading a book. I guess love’s the right word for the way I feel about her but sometimes it’s more than just love. I feel like we’re almost part of each other. When I walked up, she put her book down and smiled at me. 

“Come sit with me,” she said.

“I can’t. I’ve got to go pee.”

She stood up and put her hand on my arm.

“Just for a minute, Kerry?” she asked. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

“Why?”

“Why did you get off the bus at Nicole’s house? What have you been doing? It’s almost time for dinner.”

“Did Mom say anything about me not coming home with you? Where is she?”

“She’s in the kitchen. I told her you were going to practice again. She didn’t seem to mind. That is what you did with Nicole, isn’t it? Practice?”

I didn’t want to lie to her. I didn’t want to tell her the truth. I knew a man doesn’t talk about what he does with a woman. But she’s Arial, she’s my sister, and I’ve always told her most anything. I just smiled at her and maybe that told her.

“You didn’t?” she asked.

I nodded.

She pulled me up against her and hugged me tight. Then the pushed away from me and looked at me. 

“Did you use something?” she asked. 

I nodded. “I’ve got to pee.”

She linked her arm in mine and we went in the house together. She didn’t turn me loose when we went down the hall to the bathroom between our bedrooms. I slipped my backpack off and threw it on the bed in my room. When I went in the bathroom, she followed me. I didn’t care because we’d seen each other pee most of our lives.

I opened my shorts and let them drop, pulled my no-fly briefs down below my balls, and held my dick, just about to pee. Arial reached over hurriedly and lifted the seat, then watched while I foamed up the water in the bowl.

“You smell like sex, Kerry,” she said. “You’d better take a shower.”

“Shit, I’m hungry. I’ll just wipe up a little.”

“No. Mom will smell you. Dad’s not home yet. You’ve got time. You really do need to shower.”

I gave in. I was hot and sweaty and I could smell my sweat mixed in with something else that made me think of fucking. She was right. I pulled my shirt over my head, kicked my sneakers off, pulled my socks and shorts and briefs off, and started to step in the shower. Arial put her hand on my shoulder and stopped me.

“Kerry, you’ve got a hickey on your shoulder. You’d better keep a shirt on for the next few days unless you want somebody to know what you’ve been doing.”

I turned around and looked in the mirror. There was a little oval-shaped hickey just on my collar bone. I’d never had one before but I’d seen them on Kavan and teased him. 

“Oh, shit!”

Arial grabbed me, hugged me again, and then kissed me on the mouth. She looked at me, shook her head, and grinned at me. I couldn’t help but grin back at her. Her eyes held mine sort of like Nicole’s did and I felt the same sort of connection. I wrapped my arms around her, picked her up off the floor, and then kissed her when I put her down.

“My little brother’s not so little anymore,” she said, when she caught her breath.

“Don’t tell anybody else, OK?” I said.

“I won’t, but you shouldn’t have done it, Kerry,” she said. “Mom and Dad have worried about you enough lately, after you and Kavan had to keep Jerome away from Kathryn when he went crazy. They didn’t even do anything to you when they heard about your duel.”

“Shit, Dad gave me a noogie and almost rubbed my head raw. I don’t call that nothing,”

We both knew it really was nothing. Dad had told me I’d better think twice before I did something like that again but he didn’t punish me.

 “They trusted us last weekend when they went to pick up Joanne and the kids,” she said. “If they go to Oregon and California with Ms. Lauren and Mr. Jack this summer, they’re going to trust us not to get in trouble for a whole week. You shouldn’t cause any more problems.”
 
“I won’t, Arial. I told Mom and Dad I wouldn’t. I didn’t plan for anything to happen when I got off the bus with Nicole.”

I knew she was right. I didn’t want to cause Mom and Dad any more worry. I knew I couldn’t go back to see Nicole again, at least not right away, so she wouldn’t think sex was all I wanted. I knew I had to call her and talk to her. I knew I had to keep the call short so it didn’t cause her parents to get suspicious. But I wasn’t ashamed of what I’d done. I was proud of it.

“Would you tell me what you did?” she asked.

“Yeah, tonight, catch me just before you go to bed, OK?”

She gave me a quick hug, sniffed a couple of times like she smelled something, and looked in my eyes. I kept my eyes connected to hers until she went out and shut the door. Then I got in the shower and stood there under the spray, thinking about Nicole and what I might do while we were out of school for the summer. 


A Kiss from Your Lips
By The Flamingos

A kiss, from your lips, changed my whole life around
A kiss like yours, no where can be found
Gee gee, how blest I am, to have a kiss from your lips 

A kiss from your lips, holds a story still untold
A kiss from your lips, more precious oh than gold
Gee gee how blest I am to have a kiss from your lips 

I've loved for many years
And kissed oh oh a thousand lips
But nothing went right, until that night
I slipped a kiss from your lips 

A kiss from your lips, changed my whole life around
Gee gee how blest I am, to have a kiss, from your lips 
TO BE CONTINUED:
