                   The Slut I Am, a Letter to My Therapist
                           (Letter One, Uncle Jack)
                       Goose's imagination running wild


Dr. Watkins;
  As you recommended, I am writing this letter.  I hope, as you
suggested, that it would give each of us some deeper insight into
whom and what I am. While at the same time, helping us to
discover how I became the slut I am.  Hopefully, it will also
raise my self-esteem, allowing me to turn my life around,
realizing that I am more than a sex object.
   I do not think becoming a slut was something that just happened
overnight.  It didn't come naturally either.  I was not born a
slut.  No, I truly believe that becoming what I am took time.  
My predisposition for anything sexual seemed to grow as I grew,
becoming more and more a part of my life.  	
   Thinking about it now, and trust me I do think about it.  Becoming a slut seems to be something that took on a life of its own.  I mean... my sex
life is completely separate from my daily life.  As separate as
it may be however... my libido is still quite capable of
consuming every other aspect of my life.
   I should add too, describing me as a slut might not be precise. 
   You see, I brand myself a slut simply for the lack of a better
word.  Whore would work as well, being as I have fucked for
money.  Exhibitionist would fit too.  I do love to fuck and suck
in public.  In fact, many words come to mind:  home-wrecker,
cock-teaser, lesbian.  One might even call me a man-eater, for I
have been know to chew them up and spit them out, figuratively of
course, not literally.
   So, not knowing where to begin, I start with the beginning, the
loss of my virginity.  Everything begins with the first time I
had my pussy mercilessly invaded by the male ego.  That's the way
I remember it anyway.  It had nothing to do with love, sex or
even my uncle`s hard cock.  It was all about an older man wanting
to feed his ego by fucking a young virgin.  
   I am certain looking back, that the only reason Uncle Jack fucked me was to feel good about himself.  I have come to realize this over the years as my
understanding of men has developed.  It wasn't about me, my pussy
or even getting his rocks off.  It was all about him knowing that
his cock was the first to assault my still virgin and
underdeveloped pussy.
   I was fourteen, my body just starting to fill out.  My young
breasts were barely more than small lumps, my nipples had not
even begun to darken and swell.  My hips had not yet begun to
take the shape of a woman.  The hair covering my cunt was no more
than fuzz.
   Thinking about it now, it seems ironic.  It was the first time my
parents had gone out and left me alone.  They had determined,
that very night, that I was old enough to take care of myself
while they went out to a New Year's eve party.
   I stayed up until mid-night watching the ball in Times Square
fall on TV.  After that, I went to bed.
   Feeling grown up, because of the new responsibility my parents
had trusted me with, I slept soundly.  That is until my Uncle
Jack crawling into bed with me awakened me.
   You see Uncle Jack was living with us in our spare bedroom.  This
came about when his wife threw him out.  Being as he had no place
to go, he talked my mother, his sister into letting him stay with
us until he could either work things out with my aunt or find a
place of his own.
   At any rate, he was supposed to be gone too.  Some of his friends
had invited him out to celebrate the New Year as well.
I remember being stunned, opening my eyes to see his face just
inches from mine as he hovered over me.  He was straddling me,
his knees on either side of my narrow hips, his body weight heavy
on my midsection.  Leaning over, he kissed me hard, his mouth
covering mine. I remember well the smell and taste of whiskey on
him.  I tried to turn my head away.  It was impossible.  He had
me pinned between him and my pillow.
   I gasped for breath, sucking air through my nose.  The smell of
perspiration and cigarette smoke filled my senses.
He must have seen the shock and panic in my eyes.  He started
whispering to me.  Using soothing tones, he tried to ease my
fear.
   "Just relax.  Your old Uncle has a real treat for you."
Did he actually think he was doing me a favor?  Did he believe
for one second that he was doing this for me?
   I felt paralyzed as he easily held my wrists with one massive
hand, pinning them over my head to the mattress.  His body sat
heavily on my mid-section.  Using his free hand, he unbuttoned my
pajama top, smiling wickedly as he bared my chest.
   "Look at you," he said.  "You don't even have any tits yet."
As he pinched and bit my immature nipples, I cringed and cried
out.  Anger and fear flooded over me. 
   "Stop. What are you doing?"
   He ignored my pleas and began to push my pajama bottoms, along
with my panties, down over my slender hips.  I think it was then
that I realized he was already naked.  Although it was dark in
the room, there was just enough moonlight shining through the
window to silhouette his hairy chest.
   Somehow, he managed to remove my pajama bottoms completely,
leaving me naked from the waist down.
   I tried to sound more forceful.  "Stop or I will tell Daddy."
   He pinched my cheeks in his powerful hand, forcing me to look
into his evil eyes.
   "If you tell anybody, I will kill your Daddy and your Mama.  Do
you understand that?"
   I began to cry.
   He said, "Do you understand?"
   I nodded my head as best I could.  I believed him.
   He shifted his weight so that he was kneeling between my legs. 
   That was when I first saw his cock jutting toward the ceiling;
long, hard and menacing.  I watched in awe, as he spit in the
palm of his hand and began to spread his saliva onto what seemed
like a massive head.  He spit again, this time onto his
fingertips, rubbing the spittle between my legs.  As he did, a
finger probed my pussy, searching for my opening.  
  Finally,finding my hole, he forced his finger inside me.
  Still dry, my cunt resisted the intrusion.  Undeterred, he
continued to push.  Finally giving up, he spat on my unforgiving
cunt lips several times.
   "That's better," he said, as his finger sank inside me to the
first knuckle.
   He spat on his cock again, jutting his hips upward to show me. 
"Now it's time for the real thing sweetie.  You see this?"  He
shook his cock at me.  "I'm gonna stick this baby in you sweet
little cunt."
   I didn't say anything, staring at what seemed far too big to go
inside me.
   With one hand, he guided the head of his monster between my
pussy's still closed lips.  "This may hurt a little but trust me.
   You'll like it before were done."
   The pain was excruciating as he forced the head of his cock past
my virgin cunt lips, sliding the head up and down my slit until
he found my tiny hole. He pushed hard forcing the tip of his cock
inside me.
   I cried out in pain.
   He laughed.  "There ain't nothing like a screaming virgin."
   He continued to push and thrust for what seemed like an eternity.
With each push, I could feel him sinking a little deeper.
Finally, he said.  "That's it baby.  You're a woman now.  You got
it all."
   I didn't like being a woman.  Being a woman hurt.  Gritting my
teeth, I lay motionless as he thrust himself in and out of me. 
He fucked me hard and fast.
   All I could do was lie there, wondering when it would be over. 
How long would this go on?  I asked myself.  My answer came
quickly.
   "God," he mumbled as he threw his head back.  "That is some
really tight pussy.  I'm gonna cum already."
   I had no idea what any of that meant.  Then I felt him thrust
harder, plunging even deeper inside me.  Next, I felt his cock
pulsing and throbbing.  Then came the wetness of his cum and the
shrinking of his cock.  As he softened, my tight pussy pushed the
intruder out.
   I thought he would leave.  I was wrong.
   He rolled onto his side.  "Just give me a couple of minutes baby
and I'll be as good as new."
   I lay perfectly still, not knowing what he meant, until he took
my hand and placed it on his shrunken meat.  I tried to pull back
but he was too strong.
   "Stroke it," he said as he moved my hand up and down the slightly
swollen length.  As he did, I could feel him once again becoming
hard, expanding in my childish hand.
   "That's a good girl.  You're a fast learner."
   I was still stroking his meat, when suddenly he moved so that he
was kneeling beside me.  Pushing my hand away, he held the
monster between his thumb and forefinger, pointing it directly at
my face.  Then, to my surprise, he started trying to push it
between my lips.
   I gritted my teeth, not sure what he wanted me to do but knowing
I didn't want to do it.
   "Suck it."  His voice was gruff and angry.
   I rolled my eyes up to look at him.
   "I said quit fucking around and suck it."
   Scared not to, I reluctantly opened my mouth to accept him. 
Again, my nostrils were offended.  This time it was the smell of
stale urine.  He tasted bitter.  Still, I felt I had no choice.
He grabbed a handful of my hair, pushing my lips toward his pubic
hair until I gagged.  I felt as though I was going to vomit as
the head of his dick bumped against the back of my throat again
and again.
   As my mouth began to salivate, I heard him say.  "That's it baby,
get it good and wet.  We're going to need the lubrication.
   I had no idea what he meant, until he rolled me over onto my
stomach and started pressing the head of his dick against my
asshole.
   Once again, I began to cry.
   It hurt like hell as he pushed the head into my ass.  I screamed
out in pain, before burying my face in my pillow.  I clutched the
sheets so tight my fingers ached, begging him to stop.  The more
I begged him to stop, the harder he pushed until his cock slipped into my tiny asshole.
   He never gave my body a chance to adjust to the intrusion. 
Instead, he immediately pushed the entire length into me. 
Without hesitation, he started humping my ass.  It felt as though
he were tearing me apart as he repeatedly pounded his meat into
my ass, each stroke becoming more demanding than the last.
   Finally, I felt the pulsing again and knew he was done.  I waited
for his cock to start shrinking as it had before.  To my surprise
however, he stayed hard.
   "Damn," he said.  "I think I'm gonna cum again."  With that, he
pulled back, removing the intruder from my ass.
   I breathed a sigh of relief.  My reprieve was only momentary
however as he re-aimed his cock, plunging once more into my
defenseless cunt.
   Grabbing my ass cheeks, he raised my butt up off the bed pulling
my ass hard against him.  Over and over, he pounded me until once
again; I felt the pulsing inside me.
   "Oh Baby," he said.  "That was hot.  I've never cum twice in a
row like that."
   He reminded me once more that if I told anyone, he would kill my
mother and father.  Then, he was gone.  He left me there hurting,
crying and bleeding.
   I lay in bed for two days, depressed, my pussy and ass
hurting.  When my mother would ask me what was wrong, I told her
I was sick.  She accepted my illness as some kind of flu virus.
   It wasn't until a few weeks later that I really got sick.  That
time I thought it was the flu.  I couldn't hold anything on my
stomach and I ached all over.  It was then that my mother took me
to the doctor.
   I was pregnant.
   Naturally, my parents wanted to know who the father was.  I
remember my dad putting it so delicately; "Who the hell have you
been fucking you little slut?"
   I really wanted to tell him.  The only thing that stopped me was
that Uncle Jack's threats kept coming back to me.  I hated my
mother and father for the way they were treating me.  Still
though, I did not want them dead.  Besides that, I really didn't
think they would believe me.
   With all of that in mind, I just kept saying; "I don't know."
   That just made things worse.  My not knowing could only mean that
I had fucked more than one boy.
   Being fourteen, pregnant and living in a small town is not an
enviable situation, not for me and especially for my parents. 
They decided I should go live with my Aunt Charlotte for a while.
                        (To be continued)

