Post Date: Wed, 24 Apr 2002 

                         Disclaimer

This is piece of fiction.  Any imagined resemblance to
people living or deceased is either the result of dementia
on the reader's part or that the reader is, in fact, a
character of this story.   It is assumed that readers of
this story have the permission of the state, mom, dad, and
pastor and are able to tell the difference between real and
make-believe.  Furthermore, the writer is fully aware that
he is bound for hell, but welcomes both praise or/and well
thought out, humourous insults on his writing skill.  Note:
he already knows he cannot spell 'warth shet'.

The events and descriptions of this story are the sole
property of Kenny N Gamera and should not be recorded,
reposted, or profited from in anyway without express
written permission of the person hiding behind that pen
name. Reposting and free archiving will be tolerated given
the writer's name and address remains attached.  Archiving
by Deja.Com and ASSTR/ASSM is assumed and encouraged.

Thank You and Good Day,
Kenny N Gamera
turtlemeat69@hotmail.com

ftp://ftp.asstr.org/pub/Authors/Gamera
ftp://ftp.asstr.org/pub/Authors/Gamera/Beggars_Can't_Be

                Beggars Can't Be... Part 11
                 A Very Naughty Bit Indeed
                            by
                      Kenny N Gamera

We woke together, not in any sympathetic union built of
meant-to-be-togetherness, but rather because a certain cat
decided that we had hogged the couch for long enough and
that he deserved his turn after a certain one of us (namely
me) had finished the evening chore of placing a microwave
spoonful of canned catfood in the bowl belonging to said
cat and placing same on floor for the cat to consume before
the cat preceded to hog the couch until bedtime which was I
should add rapidly approaching.

   Neither of us had bothered to turn off the maker before
we fell asleep.  It had not burnt dry, but had still filled
the kitchen with the scent equivalent of that horrible
taste restraunt coffee that has been brew at the tail end
of the lunch rush acquires about four in the afternoon.
For his part, the cat filled the room with his very vocal
complaints about the length of time the microwave took to
warm his before nap treat to the minimum acceptable
temperature.  Granted, he said this in cat but the meaning
was clear.

      Oh darn. I just realized that many of the previous
   sentences are whoppers.  I'm sorry, but I happen to
   enjoy long sentences.  The first was, in fact,
   intentional.  The others were not.  I'll try to do
   better from here on out.  Again, I apologize.  And
   back to our story

   Jenny picked Charlie up.  This caused him to quit
squalling.  Instead, he began to squirm, as the microwave
finished the last few seconds.  It dinged, and he squirmed
even more, knowing the sound well.  Jenny held on to him as
I stirred the food to even out the temperature.  After I
had put the bowl in its proper spot, she allowed the not-
at-all half-starved cat to go free.  He dashed to his bowl.

   I watched Jenny watch Charlie eat.  For the nth time in
my writing of this chronicle, she smiled a broad smile.  It
led me to believe that she, too, enjoyed, the simple
pleasure of watching a cat eat.  Just I enjoyed the simple
pleasure of watching her smile.  Just as Charlie apparently
enjoyed the simple pleasure of a spoonful of canned
catfood, but no where near as quickly.

   He turned, gave me a look that said, "thank you,
Kenneth" in a slight New-England-preppy-WASP accent.  He
left the kitchen in a way clearly meant to let the both of
us know that he had other things to do, and, thus, we were
dismissed for the evening.

   "Nice cat."

   "He has his uses."

   "What are they?"

   "I don't know," I said with a shrug.  "He refuses to do
them; so I've forgotten what they are."

   My joke elicited the desired response another of her
laughs and a few extra for good measure.  I sat down in a
kitchen chair, satisfied, if stiff and more than a little
sore.  I pushed the hardened remains of Jenny's breakfast
to the side, and let my arm drape itself over the tabletop.
Jenny sat down on my lap and somehow avoided any painful
bruise.  She leaded back against the arm I had on the table
and draped hers over my shoulder.  The hand of the other
arm went to my exposed penis and cupped it.  She leaned
over and began to lick my ear.

   "Kenny," she whispered, "have you guessed that I'm over
sexed yet?"

   I didn't bother to reply; I moaned as she gently rolled
my testicles in her fingers.  With her thumb, she tickled
the base of my erection just above the scrotum.  I moved my
hand to her outer labia and began to run my index finger
along the grove between them.  My touch was light enough
that I barely felt her skin.

   She quit licking my earlobe and began to moan softly
into it instead.  My penis gave a twitch in response to the
growing excitement I felt.  Jenny took hold of it and began
to slide her fist in a painfully slow motion.  I both
wished to have speed it up and have her continue to tease
me.

   I choose to let her tease, but I teased her back.  I
slowed my strokes to match hers.  I touched her clitoris
just as she reached my head.  I reached the taint just as
the bottom of her fist made contact with my scrotum.  Her
breathing was hoarse and ragged.  I felt just the tip of
her tongue return to the inside of my ear.

   My breathing grew hoarse and ragged.

   I went to stand.  She rose from my lap.  With a guiding
shove against her stomach, I moved her against the table.
Following my prodding, she backed against it, and when my
pressure persisted wiggled onto the table.

   On her own initiative, Jenny lifted her legs up to the
table and spread them in an impressive display of
flexibility.  Her left leg knocked her plate off of the
table.  It failed to break on the floor by landing on one
of the other chairs and a cushion of hardened pancake.  She
leaned back.  Her right hand upset my coffee mug.  Its cold
contents flowed over the table's edge like the ocean at the
end of an ancient mariener's world.

   I didn't need to remind myself that it would still be
there in the morning and so did not.

   "I thought you weren't hungry."

   I bent down, still seated in the chair and did what I
had been doing before, but this time, I used my tongue in
place of my finger.  She moaned again and kept any further
observations that she may have had to herself.

   I gave her another gentle lick before standing.  I told
her to stay where she was.  She nodded her head many times
and rapidly.  Not a word escaped from her upturned lips.  I
walked away and went to the fridge.  From there, I
extracted a mid-sized carrot.  I turned and found that
Jenny was trying to see what I was up to.

   I gave her a wink. I, also, maneuvered myself so the
carrot stayed on non-Jenny side of my body and, thus,
blocked from her view.  She tried to look around my body as
I marched to the sink.  I started the facet and rinsed off
the carrot and gave it a good scrubbing as well.  With all
the care I had used to that point, I slid it behind my back
and walked over to Jenny.

   She sat on the table showing lots of teeth.  Her dark
brown eyes sparkled, as she craned her neck to try to look
around my body for her surprise.  Her body was all a
twitter like a kitty waiting for a treat or a child waiting
for her turn to unwrap a present (hey, that's the way MY
family does it, which is much more civilized and more fun
too).

   I stared at her for a moment or five, quietly and
pleasantly lost in her.  For the nth time in my writing of
this chronicle, I smiled back at Jenny.  Then, I looked
away from her in embarrassment from my extreme silliness.
She just giggled.  I looked back at her and shrugged.
Jenny lifted a hand from the table and used her index
finger to call me over to her.  I came to her call and took
the last few steps to the table.

   Keeping the carrot from her sight, I retook my place on
my chair.  I bent down and took another long lick along
Jenny's unparted labia.  My tongue retreated just before
reaching her hidden clitoris.  She moaned out something
along the lines of "oh, Kenny."  I looked up from her sex
to her face; she looked down at me.  We exchanged smiles,
again.  Jenny leaned over a bit to get a glance behind me.
I took the hint and brought the carrot into her sight.

   She frowned.  "What?  Not a zucchinni?"

   "Hey, I have enough personal issues."  We shared a
laugh.  "Shall I, Miss Jenny?"

   "Please do, Kenneth."

   So, I did.  Using two fingers, I parted her labia as
best I could and lowered my mouth to her.  The surfaces of
her labial folds shone with wetness and around her opening
I could see puddles of her milky lubricant.  With an
effort, I forbid myself from licking it away and tasting
her sexual essence.  Instead, I used my tongue to lay down
a layer of saliva along the pink folds.

   Satisfied with my addition, I took the pointy end of the
carrot and placed it against the mouth of her inner
passage.  I turned up to see her face.  She nodded to me,
and I slowly pushed the vegetable inside.  I watched her
face; eyes closed and tongue between her teeth and sticking
just slightly from her mouth.  A low, soft growl came from
deep in her throat as the carrot made its passage into her.
The movement was not a machine steady as I would've wished
for, but the jerkiness seemed to add something to the
sensations that Jenny was experiencing.  She let out a gasp
when the tip of the carrot touched the back.

   With the same motion that I used to put it in, I pulled
it out.  In time with the carrot's withdrawal, she breathed
in.  My next thrust was a little quicker and then took it
from her slowly.  Each time, there after, I pushed it in
took less time.  I still used a teasingly hastily stroke as
I took it from her.

   At last, after a very rapid pump into her, I lowered my
head again to her sex and took her now exposed clitoris
into my mouth.  I gave it a gentle nip between my incisors
as I gave the carrot a hard yank out.  Then, I touched it
with the tip of my tongue, as I stabbed her with the orange
vegetable.  Jenny began to call out in intelligible,
nonsense words, something like a sillier moment in a
cartoon but a lot more sexy given the context.  I closed my
lips around her and drew in my breath, treating her little
bud as a straw.

   She shrieked.  Then her arms must've given out, for I
heard a thud.  When I raised my head, I found Jenny lying
back on the table, taking in air with huge gasps.  I gave
the carrot a twist with my wrist for which Jenny rewarded
me with a nicely sharp inhalation.  She lifted her head and
stared at me.

   "Not bad for a straight guy, huh," I asked.

   She sighed and then added, "you bastard, I'll get you
for that."

   "Didn't you like it?"

   "That's not the point."  She rubbed the back of her
head.  "I could've cracked open my skull."

   She sat up to the sound of my chuckling.  She continued
to rub the spot she must've landed on.  She also had a huge
grin on her face, so I guessed that she hadn't been hurt.

   "Quit laughing.  I think I have a huge bump back there."

   She turned to show me the back of her head.  I did the
natural thing; I kissed her bump.  She turned back to me,
and I kissed her cheek.  Then, I kissed her cute little
nose.  Then, I kissed her sweet lips.

   Her hand left the back of her head and together with
its comrade moved behind my back.  She pulled me tight
against her.  I moved my own arms around her body and
pulled the embrace into an even tighter knot.

   I felt her lips open; my tongue took the unspoken but
clear invitation and entered her mouth.  Her tongue met it
inside.  They wrestled together, sliding wetly against each
other.  A slight trembling traveled along my back.

   I held her more tightly.

   After a moments worth of forever, her arms relaxed.  I
lowered mine in response.  Together we broke the kiss.  She
looked into my eyes for a short moment and shifted them
down with a glance.  I followed her gaze to her still
parted legs and the short tangle of her pubis.

   The carrot still stuck from her vagina if only for a few
inches.  The rest waited inside her.  I looked back into
her eyes.  She was looking at me.

   "Well?"

   I replied with my hands.  One, I moved to grasp the
carrot.  The other went slightly above the carrot, where
the labia met.  I slowly began to draw the vegetable from
her, as I gently stroked her clitoris.  Just as the tip
escaped from within her confines, I gave her the slightest
of pinches.

   She squealed out in orgasm.  As she twisted around the
table, I continued to roll the exposed tip between two
fingers.  After a time, I released it, but kept my fingers
close.  She settled down and opened her eyes to look at me.
Instinctively, I lifted the carrot and opened my mouth.
Jenny watched wide-eyed as I brought the carrot into my
mouth.  I closed my eyes.

   Still feeling hers on me, I let my throat relax.  The
carrot slid easily down my throat.  With a half inch
remaining outside my mouth, I closed my lips around the
root.  With another slow motion, one that mimicked the one
I had used on Jenny, I started to pull the carrot from my
mouth. I tasted her juices as it slid across my tongue.  I
gave it a twist so I could wipe all of her tangy flavour
from the textured skin.

   I felt my cheeks burn as it dawned that I had, again,
let down my guard.  Still, I savoured the taste on the
carrot's surface.  I, also, gave Jenny's clitoris another
soft squeeze.  She sucked in air and gasped out loud.  The
last of the carrot popped from my lips.  I opened my eyes.

   Her smile was a near laugh.  She tugged the carrot from
my grasp and careless placed it on the table.  My other
hand was removed from her lap.  She reached over and kissed
me on the lips, almost chastely.  Then, she pushed herself
off the table and sank to her knees in front of me.

   In one smooth, gracefully motion, her mouth swallowed my
penis, and she began a slow leisurely fellation. I closed
my eyes, not watching her movement.  I let myself feel the
results.  Her tongue lapped at my glans, as one hand began
to masturbate me.  I released a soft moan of pleasure.

   I felt something tickle my anus.  My sphincter relaxed
and the object entered.  And entered.  And entered.  It
wasn't her finger; it was much to long and lacked joints.
I opened my eyes and looked over to the table.  The carrot
was gone.

   I close my eyes again and grew tense.  I also felt my
penis grow harder in Jenny's mouth.  She began to pump the
carrot into me in time to the rthym of the fist around my
shaft.  She bobbed her head in a short motion that would
never qualify as a stroke.

   The carrot against my prostrate was too much for me to
ignore, with the combination of Jenny's hand and mouth.
With a grunt, I released in orgasm into her mouth.
Ejaculate filled her mouth in three strong pumps of my
penis followed by five weaker ones.

   I looked down at her; she looked up at me.  Through my
tear filled eyes, I saw her open her mouth and show me its
contents.  She closed it and swallowed.  I took note of the
subtle movements of her throat.  Her eyes never left mine.

   Jenny lifted a hand to my face.  A finger, the middle
one, traced a line along my left cheek, lubricated by a
tear.  She pulled the finger away and looked at the damp
spot left on the tip in a short glance away from me.

   She looked back at me after just that moment's
distraction.  I forced myself to smile through the tears.
Her return smile was less than reassuring.  It reflected
the way I felt, unsure and frightened.

   And very, very small.

   She reached beneath me.  I felt the carrot slide from my
rectum.  I felt empty, in a comfortable way.  She lifted it
up and held it in front of me.  She took the business end
into her other hand.  An end locked into each of her tiny
fists, I stared at the few centimeters still exposed
between her hands.  Her hands twisted away from each other.

   For a moment, a mere instant maybe, nothing.  After that
nothingness of time, her hands parted with a jerk, and the
carrot gave way with a loud crack.  She brought them back
together.  Smoothly, like a practiced magician at slight of
hand, she turned her hands over and opened them to display
the two pieces of carrot.

   I raised my eyes to her face.  She studied mine as I
search hers for...I just searched her face.  She smiled
weakly at me.  I sighed and touched the side of her head.
I slowly began to stroke her hair.

   Jenny looked down at the carrot.  Suddenly, her arms
flashed up, and the two pieces of carrot went flying into
the corner.  She was shaking.  When she looked back up from
her hands, I saw that tears had filled her eyes.

   "Never again, Kenny.  I'll keep you safe."

   She stood up and pulled me to her.  I pulled her to me.
Together, we cried.

