What Happened Last Night by Girl Friday  (M/F cons 
oral)

Last week, on a lark, I posted a message to one of the 
discussion groups I belong to.  I really enjoy this 
group, mostly males who enjoy the erotic writings of a 
certain author.  I knew I could count on them to have 
fun with anything that was posted.  My message read:

I've started to write. My husband loves erotica 
but for some reason gets really embarrassed 
reading MY stuff. Why is that? To quote my 
favorite heroine: "Will somebody explain males to 
me? With diagrams and short words?" * 
 
Friday

I checked back in with the group a few days later and 
saw that someone had posted a reply.  I hadn't really 
expected a response.  Eagerly I opened it.  It read:

Miss Friday,  
 
Heterosexual males are simple creatures with 
complex issues. Some of these issues are genetic 
and go back to the time that we first began to 
walk upright. Since women obviously had the most 
important job, continuation of the species, men 
were relegated to building fire, killing things 
and stealing from the neighbors. Since the two 
most valuable things were childbearing females 
and food, guess what men stole? This led to 
development of a number of rather interesting 
rituals that continue to this day including a 
love of sports and action movies and high fiving 
each other after we score, either on or off the 
field. This also led the male to be very 
protective of "his females" in order to prevent 
other males from stealing her(them). 
 
Unfortunately, several thousand years of 
evolution has made only slight improvements. The 
majority of the improvements that have been made 
to the male of the species are in direct response 
to the tremendous improvements to the female of 
the species and the males' single-minded focus on 
getting to mate with the females. This single-
minded pursuit and the females "raising of the 
bar" of what is required for this to happen is 
almost entirely responsible for every improvement 
to male of the species, meaning that these 
improvements have been environmental and 
cultural, not genetic. 
 
The simple answer to men is that all that is 
needed to keep them happy is to come naked and 
bring beer. Unfortunately, this is the simple 
answer and though it works reasonably well, it is 
not the complete answer and it does not work all 
of the time. 
 
I hope this has answered your question. I now 
must go back down the rabbit hole and see what 
direction the Cheshire Cat will direct me today. 
 
Dragon 



As I sat at my computer reading Dragon's reply I began 
to giggle.  "Come naked and bring beer," well that 
could be fun.  This was just too good to ignore.  
Quickly I typed my response:

Dearest Dragon,

Thank you for your most eloquent explanation. 
This simple girl will now employ the simple 
answer by grabbing a beer from the fridge, 
stripping to her birthday suit and reading 
stories to aforementioned squeamish husband while 
sitting on his lap. I'm sure he will thank you. 
<G> 

Friday

Hmmm.  The longer I thought about my off-the-cuff 
response, the more determined I became.  My husband 
was in for a surprise.  

Quickly I made my preparations.  I printed out a 
chapter from one of the stories I had written and made 
sure there was plenty of cold beer in the fridge.  
After a quick shower I was ready.  I didn't want to 
appear too willing; he'd know something's up.  Ah, his 
favorite tee shirt was right where he left it, on the 
bedroom floor.  Easily three sizes too big for me, it 
would cover my nakedness while still showing him 
plenty.  Just right.  Now I just had to wait for him 
to get home from work.  

It wasn't long before I heard the garage door open and 
close.  Dan wandered in, weariness evident in every 
step he took.  He's an air traffic controller and some 
days the pressure and stress are exhausting.  Tonight 
had apparently been one of those nights.

"Hey, handsome.  How was your day, or should say 
night?"  (It was 10:00 p.m.)

"Okay.  I had a couple of idiots today, but otherwise 
not too bad."

"Well, why don't you go sit on the couch and I'll grab 
you a beer."

"I'll pass on the beer.  I've got to be back for the 
morning shift so I don't dare drink.  Why are you 
wearing my shirt?"  His expression as he looked me 
over was confused.

"Because it's warm in here and I was missing you.  
Sit.  I have something I want to read you."  He sank 
into the couch and I went to sit in his lap, bringing 
along the chapter I had printed out.

"You've been writing again?"  He wrapped his arms 
around me and rested his head on my shoulder.

"Yes, and I want your opinion.  You up for that?"  

"As long as you stay right here."

I grinned at him and began to read to using my 
softest, sexiest tone of voice.  The longer I read the 
more relaxed he seemed.  As I described a particularly 
steamy kiss he slid one of his hands down my bare leg 
and began to rub it slowly, working his way to my hip.  
My lack of underwear was soon evident.  

"What are you wearing under there?"  He continued to 
knead my naked hip.  

"Nothing. Now stop that and listen, okay?"  I 
continued to read my story aloud.  His hand wandered 
from my hip up to my breast, where he lightly stoked 
my nipple, bringing it to full arousal.  He continued 
to massage my boob and began to place warm sensuous 
kisses on my neck, nibbling gently on my earlobe.

"Hey!  You be good.  You're supposed to be listening 
to my story."  If he kept it up any longer I wasn't 
going to be able to think, let alone read.

"I am being good.  Very, very good."  He lifted his 
hips and ground against me.  I could feel his erection 
on my butt as it strained against his jeans.  I 
giggled and wriggled my butt back against his lap.

He groaned, "Shit, Beth, do that again."

"No.  You're supposed to be listening!"  He grabbed 
the pages from my hand and threw them on the coffee 
table.  

"To hell with that.  I haven't heard one word since 
your nipple crinkled up in my hand.  Now how about we 
take this off and finish what you started."  With 
that, he pulled the shirt over my head and threw it on 
the floor, leaving me naked in his lap.  "Now, that's 
more like it!"

He bent his head and drew one of my nipples into his 
mouth while working one of his fingers into my 
dripping slit.  I yelped as he dragged it across my 
clit.  "That's my girl, let's hear more of that."  He 
put a second finger in me, pumping and twisting them 
in and out of me while his thumb circled my clit, 
flicking it each time he buried his fingers in me.  I 
started to gasp and yelp in time with his magic 
fingers, completely incoherent from the sensations he 
was creating.  I felt the muscles in my stomach and my 
thighs begin to tighten.

"Danny, I'm gonna cum!"

"Oh, baby, yes cum for me.  I love to see you lose 
it."  He started flicking my clit relentlessly, 
driving a third finger into me.  The wave started to 
crash over me; it was going to be huge.  

"DAAANNNNYYYYY!!!!"  I wailed his name as I exploded, 
my whole body clenched around his fingers as my climax 
ripped through me.  

It seemed like ages before I was able to stop gasping 
and open my eyes.  He was watching me with a huge 
shit-eating grin on his face.  "Looks like you enjoyed 
that."

"Your turn buster!"  I quickly sat up and started 
pulling his shirt off.  That accomplished, I went to 
work on his jeans.  He lifted up so I could slide them 
off and nearly poked out my eye with his erect cock.  
"Looks like someone is happy to see me."  I knelt at 
his feet and slurped that yummy cock into my mouth in 
one smooth motion.

"Happy does not begin to describe it," He groaned.  I 
started bobbing up and down on his gorgeous cock, 
sucking for all I was worth and swirling my tongue 
around the edge of his head, just where he likes it.  

"Damn, babe, I'm not gonna last long if you keep that 
up."  I just increased the suction and carefully 
started to play with his balls.  I could feel them 
draw up a little as his shaft turned to solid granite 
in my mouth.

"Here it coooommmmeeeesss!!!"  A jet of hot liquid hit 
my tongue.  I backed off so that just the tip was 
still in my mouth and continued to pump his cock with 
my hand.  He shot several more spurts into my mouth as 
I swallowed his load.  His cock stayed hard as I 
cleaned it off and climbed up on the couch, straddling 
his thighs.  

"How about you sit right here?"  Dan said as he 
positioned himself at my entrance.  I sank onto his 
shaft, moaning as I felt him slide into me.  "Oh yeah, 
babe, sit right there."  I sat motionless, reveling in 
the feel of him.  He wriggled his hips out and slid 
down so that he could capture my breast in his mouth, 
making it easier for me to ride.  And ride I did, up 
and down, I slid on his shaft slow and easy, loving 
the feel of his cock.

"Danny, I love how this feels," I moaned.  

"Me too babe.  How about a little faster now?"  He 
gripped my hips and adjusted the pace, moving me 
faster on his cock.  I gripped his shoulders for 
leverage and let him drive up into me. 

"Open your eyes, look at me.  I love to watch your 
eyes as you go over the edge."  His words went 
straight to my clit, making it even more sensitive as 
he started to rub it on each down stroke.  I opened my 
eyes and locked onto his, feeling my body begin to 
tighten once more.  "That's it, I can see it. Not long 
now."  

Gripping my hips once more, he began slamming me down 
on his cock, twisting just enough to grind into my 
clit.  "Come on baby, cum for me."  His words alone 
sent me over the edge.  I shrieked as my body 
shuddered and my pussy clamped down around his cock.  
"Oh, yes, that's it!!!" He yelled and buried his cock 
in me as it began to spasm and spew.

Slowly my ragged breathing began to ease and I could 
feel Dan grow limp and slide out of me.  He gathered 
me up and rolled so that we were stretched out 
lengthwise on the couch, cuddled together.  

"Not that it wasn't most enjoyable, but what got into 
you?  Attacking me on the couch isn't your usual 
style."  Dan smiled as he said it and brushed the hair 
back from face.  

"Funny, I was just trying to read you my story. You 
attacked me."  

"Nope. This was your doing and you know it, so 'fes 
up."

I told him about the message I got from Dragon and his 
"simple" explanation.  Dan sighed contentedly and 
said, "Tell Dragon I owe him a beer."

The next morning I checked the discussion group and 
there was another message from Dragon:

Dear Sweet Friday 
 
Please don't hesitate to provide a fairly 
detailed description of your employment of the 
simple answer with your "squeamish" husband last 
night. 
 
Yours Truly 
Dragon


The flirt!  Well, it's the least I could do.  I opened 
Word and began to type.





Comments may be addressed to FinkBL@hotmail.com

What Happened Last Night ?2003 by Girl Friday, all 
rights reserved.  

Special thanks to bamfdragon42 and fab4fan999 for 
allowing use of messages 291, 351, 353, and 355 from 
the discussion group FDWritings.  
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FDWritings/

* Robert A. Heinlein, Friday (New York: Ballantine 
Books, 1983) 313.
