THE MEASURE OF MAN

An Epic by Gil Gamesh

Chapter Eight

As for you, Gilgamesh, fill your belly with good things; day and night, night and day, dance and be merry, feast and rejoice. Let your clothes be fresh, bathe yourself in water, cherish the little child that holds your hand, and make your wife happy in your embrace; for this too is the measure of man.

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CAST OF CHARACTERS:
Kieran Stuart, 34 in story, 28 in flashback with kids; Siobhan Stuart, 33 in story, 15 in flashback with Jacob Paul, 16; 16 in flashback with James Boyd, 18; 18 in flashback with Grant Knight, 19; 27 in flashback with kids; Kavan Stuart, 7 in story, 21 months in flashback; Arial Stuart, 5 in story, 3 months in flashback; Kerry Stuart, 11 months in story

TELLING THE STORY:
Kieran Stuart, Siobhan Stuart

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(SIOBHAN)

James helped me to say goodbye to my virginity. I was a sophomore in high school and he was a senior. I don’t suppose I’d ever noticed him at school.

I was volunteering every other Saturday at the children’s hospital. Candy striper. Gofer. Babysitter. Whatever they needed. I was having lunch in the hospital cafeteria. He walked up, holding his tray, and stood quietly until I looked up.

“Hi, we go to the same high school. May I sit with you?”

I knew he was intelligent. He knew the difference between can and may. I didn’t remember ever seeing him.

“I’m James Boyd. James Darlington Boyd. Now you know the worst thing about me, my middle name. My friends call me James. I’m a senior.”

“I’m Siobhan Kelly. S-I-O-B-H-A-N. I know – you’ve never heard that name before. It’s Irish. Supposed to be but you can’t prove it by me. My friends call me Siobhan - not See or Siob or whatever - Siobhan.”

“With your hair and complexion, I thought you were Italian.”

“Wise guy. You’ve got dark hair. What’re you?”

“Mongrel. Heinz 57. Who knows? Mom’s side’s mostly French.”

“What do you do here?”

“I’m a volunteer. I work in different areas where they’re doing tests on the kids. I’m a professional hand holder.”

I must have looked at him strangely.

“I do whatever I can to help the kids so they’re not afraid. I talk to them, hold their hand, try to make them feel better when they’re hurting and crying. I clean them up when they puke. I started probably like you did, just general gofer and flunkie. Somebody noticed I had a knack for getting along with all the little kids. That’s all I do now. I want to try to find a career working with kids.”

“Don’t try to make it sound like nothing. You love it because you love them, don’t you?”

“Yes,” he said, “It hurts so goddam much to see them suffering. I just want to do something to make it better.”

I put my hand on his. “Me too.”

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And that’s how it all started. When the hospital had a party one Saturday night for the volunteers, he invited me. He rang the doorbell, asked if he could meet my parents, talked with them, and promised to have me back by midnight. Not only intelligent but also good manners. Is that the beginning of love?

On another Saturday, he was at the hospital all day. It was my off day. About eight p.m., he called and asked if he could come by the house, that he needed to see me.

When I opened the door, he didn’t say a word. He wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in my neck and hair. I put one hand behind his head and stroked his neck. He seemed upset about something and I think he was on the verge of crying. I heard my mother walk past in the hall, pause for a moment, and then continue. I took James to my room and we talked until almost eleven.

When I let him out the front door, I walked into the family room where I knew my mother was waiting. She didn’t ask me any questions, just raised one eyebrow.

“Two of the kids he’s been working with died this week. One was a little boy who had a bone cancer in his leg that spread. James had taken him out on the hospital lawn and played catch with him a few times. The other was a young girl, thirteen. She had leukemia. James would sit and talk to her and they’d hold hands. He said once she pulled his hand up under her gown and held it on her breasts. She looked at him with those big eyes, no eyelashes or eyebrows, with a sort of pleading look. He said he almost lost it. She died today.”

My mother gave me the same sort of long hug that I’d given James.

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We gradually became friends and then good friends and then more than just friends.

We rearranged our volunteer schedules to the same days and times and then hung out together for the rest of the day. He told me his mother and father were divorced. His father was living in another city. His mother was remarried. He’d moved into a garage apartment with a guy who worked as a nurse at the hospital. Some nights we had fast food on the way home. Other nights he ate with me at home. We’d usually talk or study.

One Saturday night he was bringing me home late. We had our usual big hug at the front door. But this time, he moved his face to mine and kissed me. We were both to blame. By the time we broke, we were both out of breath from kissing and desperate from clutching at each other. 

The next Saturday night, my parents left us alone while they went to a party. I suppose they thought they could trust James. They didn’t know they couldn’t trust me. Within an hour after they left, I had stripped him naked and shoved him back on the couch. He lay there, one hand curled around under his head, the other on his cock, his balls hanging down like two eggs in a kid-skin bag, a smile on his face that said he knew what he was about to get. I almost ripped my panties, getting them caught on one foot and dancing around trying to get them off. When I did, I crawled on top of him. He buried his face in my breasts and sucked my tits until I could feel the juices running out of my cunt. Then he shoved me back and buried his face between my legs with a hunger I’ve only known once since. I came two or three times. I sucked him off for a minute and then used my hand to bring him to orgasm. His groan could have awakened anyone asleep in the house. He sprayed come over both of us and on the couch. When my parents came back, we were dressed and sitting side by side, his arm around my shoulders, supposedly watching TV. The next day my mother asked my why the leather cleaner bottle was sitting on the kitchen counter.

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The following Saturday, I almost lied to my mother. I started to tell her I’d be at the hospital with James. At the last second, I looked her in the eye and told her where I’d be.

“Mom, I’ll be at James’ apartment this afternoon and evening, I’ll be back by midnight. By then, James and I’ll be lovers.”

“Are you sure?” is all she said. “This is your choice? It’s what you want?”

“Yes, Mom, I’m sixteen. As they say, sweet sixteen and never been kissed. Well, I’ve been kissed; I’m ready for more. I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow, OK?”

James came to the door to pick me up just before noon. He wanted to talk to my mother and father. I told him my father was traveling but my mother was home. He went in the family room where she was sitting. He reached down for her hand and held it.

“Mrs. Kelly, Siobhan and I’ve decided to do something we both want. I’m eighteen; she’s sixteen. I can’t take her to my apartment without your permission. I’m not going to cause any problems for anyone. If you tell me to get out, I will. If you permit me to take Siobhan with me, I will. She won’t be a little girl when she comes back.”

Mom looked at both of us, tears in her eyes. I reached out for James’ other hand and held it. Mom nodded and smiled at us. “Just be careful, you two. Last time you cleaned it off the couch but you didn’t get the spot on the wall.”

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James insisted on taking me out to lunch, even though the only thing I wanted to eat was him. Afterward we drove down by the lake, parked and talked. I wondered how he could delay and why he wasn’t in a hurry.

“Are you sure, Siobhan? I haven’t even said I love you. I won’t say I don’t. I don’t know yet. I know what love is. I see it at the hospital all the time with parents and children. I feel it when I give it to the children and get it back in return. With you, I don’t know what I’m feeling yet. I know it’s something I’ve never felt before. Maybe I’ve dreamed about it. Are we in too big a hurry? I’ll wait if you want to. I’m not going to quit with you if we don’t do it this afternoon.”

“How do you think I feel, James? I’m not ready to say I love you, either, like in the forever sense. I know I’ve got a lot to learn about love. I’m ready for you to help me. Let’s go to your apartment.”

“I was hoping you’d say that. I changed the sheets this morning.”

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The apartment was a tiny one on top of a garage. The big house it belonged to was an old mansion, split up into apartments. We had to climb steps to get to the landing outside the apartment. There was a screen door and the other door was open. I could hear music playing inside.

James introduced me to his roommate, Trent, an older guy who was a nurse at the hospital. He was already dressed in his hospital whites about to go to work. He was maybe mid-twenties or later, very nice but ordinary looking, 

“James has been talking my ear off about you. I think he’s smitten.”

“Smitten?” I said.

“Well, you are as beautiful as he’s said. James and I are good friends and we talk about everything. When he started talking about you, it was different.”

“Oh, how different?”

“Come now, Siobhan. He doesn’t tell me everything. Don’t worry about that. He’s a fine young man. Just the way he talked about you.”

Just the way Trent talked made me wonder how different he was. “Your apartment is very nice. Would you call it spacious with an enchanting view?

“Yeah,” James said, “it’s spacious. Maybe four hundred square feet including bathroom. The view is great if you like looking down on the tops of all the cars parked in the yard.”

“I’m only joking, James. I like your use of Early Goodwill Antiques. That big iron bed must have cost a fortune. And the little one that doubles as a couch, it’s darling. You’ve brought it all together with pillows, haven’t you?”

They both understood that I was laughing with them, not at them.

“The pillows were James’ idea. We keep the place clean because we’re both neat-freaks but it still looked like crap, if you’ll pardon my French. James thought it up and we went out one Saturday morning and spent almost a hundred dollars we didn’t have on pillows. Average cost is less than one dollar. If you can’t find anything else to do in here, you can always rearrange the pillows.”

“Trent, don’t you have to go to work?” James asked.

“Oh, don’t be impatient, James. One more thing and I’m out the door.” He looked at me and sighed. “Siobhan, I’m not prying but I think you and James might be too busy to cook. I’ve left a casserole in the fridge for you two. And there’s a bottle of wine. Cost me almost five dollars. I hope you two have a pleasant afternoon and evening. I’ll be back about midnight.”

After he was gone, I looked at James and raised one eyebrow in question.

“Yeah, I know. He does give that impression, doesn’t he? But he’s one of the greatest guys I’ve ever known. We both have to struggle with money and this is about the best place we can afford. You may not believe it but he sometimes brings another nurse home with him. More than one in fact but only one at a time --- and they’re all women. I don’t try to figure it out. I just try to make myself scarce. James tells me what time to come back and I just go to the library and study. When I come back, the place is as neat as always. Trent’s usually happy and whistling or singing but he never says a word about the woman.”

“Why don’t you ask him to let you stay? You could find out how two nurses…you know?”

“He…let’s don’t talk about that, Siobhan. I thought you wanted to find out what sort of nurse or whatever I might be someday.”

“I do, James, but I’m a little nervous about this. Can’t you tell?”

He looked at me for a minute or so, evidently thinking.

“Siobhan, are you a virgin?”

“Yeah, damnit, I was hoping to get that taken care of this afternoon. You wanna go play frisbie in the park instead?”

“Come on, Siobhan, don’t worry so much. I’m not a virgin but I’m not that experienced either. One thing I do know is that it can be a lot of fun. I love to play. I’ll play frisbie if that’s what you want. Or I’ll play lover, if that’s what you want. But, damn, it should be fun whichever one it is.”

“Fun, well, OK, maybe it is. But I’m still nervous.”

“Can I tell you a dirty joke when you’re about to come. I hear it heightens orgasms if you’re laughing when you come.”

“James, you don’t mean that.”

“Yeah, but I don’t guess I’ll be able to think of a good joke when we’re,” he raised his voice, “WRAPPED IN THE THROES OF PASSION.”

I laughed in spite of myself. “James, would you carry me into your bedroom and make mad passionate love to me?”

<><><>

“Potty break,” Kieran said, “I’ve got to go pee. Do you want to finish this story tonight or wait ‘til another night?”

“If you’ll let me pee first, I’ll finish it tonight for you.”

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James was as patient and considerate as any lover could be. He and I gradually stripped each other of clothes, one piece at a time. He took my hand and led me to the big bed. He was probably as good a kisser as you are. Didn’t hurry past my breasts to get to the good part. Got his head between my legs and his tongue in my cunt. Knew where my clit was and what to do to it. Gave me sort of rolling orgasms, like a roller coaster, up one peak and down and then up another peak. I was drenched when he finally got on top of me and started to put his dick in me. He was slow, so damn maddeningly slow, until he found out that I still had a hymen. And then he slapped me.

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“Slapped you?” Kieran interrupted.

“Yeah, on my left cheek, kinda hard too, it hurt a little.”

“I’ve never heard of that little technique. What the fuck was that supposed to accomplish?”

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He knew what he was doing. I started to hit him back but he held my wrists. I looked up at his face and he was smiling. It took me a moment to realize – his cock was totally inside me and his balls were up against my ass cheeks. And it hadn’t hurt in the least.

“My father was very good at pulling my baby teeth,” he said.

I looked at him, totally puzzled about what he’d just said and what he’d just done.

“Whenever I’d get a loose baby tooth, my father always pulled it. Never hurt me. He knew just how to do it. He’d ask if he could look at it first. Then he’d ask if he could wiggle it to see how loose it was. Then he’d lie and say he wasn’t going to pull it yet. He was just going to get a tissue or napkin and see if it was ready to come out.”

“James, are you nuts? What the hell are you talking about?”

“Then he’d pop me on the forehead with the heel of his other hand. I’d jerk my head back and he’d just smile at me. The tooth would be pulled and I never knew when it came out. Never hurt me.”

He smiled at me.

I realized what he had done. Never hurt me.

“Could we just stay like this for a while?  It feels so good to me to be inside you. Am I hurting you?”

“No, James, you’re not hurting me. It feels good. I guess I never dreamed how good it could feel. You may stay.”

“Are you sure you’ve had enough time for your birth control pills to get working? If you’re afraid of me coming inside you, I’ll put on a condom.”

“I read everything Mom’s gynecologist gave me. I should be as safe as I’m ever going to be.”

“Good. Wrap your legs around me then. Later, when you feel like it, pull them up toward your shoulders and see if you like it that way. And wrap your arms around me. Or put your hands on my ass. I’ve seen your fingernails and they’re a little long. Don’t sink’em in my ass cheeks unless you want me to come. Close your eyes and let me kiss you. Are you ready to begin?”

I was ready. And later I was ready again. And well before midnight, I was ready again. Never hurt me.

At least not that night. I was sore on Sunday morning. When my family went out to lunch, I caught myself sitting on just one hip. Mom saw me and smiled at me.

The next time, it wasn’t sore. A little uncomfortable at first but soon comfortable. And always since.

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“Well, what happened to James? I don’t think either girls or boys should marry their first love. But there must have been something, wasn’t there?”

“That’s enough about James. I’ve told you enough. Let’s go to sleep.”

“There’s gotta be just a little more. Tell me the rest and I’ll go down on you and give you a roller coaster ride.”

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When I climbed the stairs to the apartment landing, I noticed that the main door was open, screen door closed. I looked in and saw James sleeping in the big bed. Trent was already dressed in his nursing whites. He was sitting on the foot of the bed tying his shoes. I suppose the scene of domestic tranquility left me puzzled. I watched through the screen door as Trent stood up and walked around to the side of the bed where James was. He leaned over and kissed James on the mouth.

I distinctly heard Trent say, “Get up, sleepyhead, she’ll be here soon. You need to get a shower.” James reached up and held Trent’s head while he prolonged the kiss.

Trent turned toward the screen door and saw me. He came out and greeted me with a quick kiss on the cheek. “Gotta run. Department meeting at nine. Make him get up, will you?” He turned and yelled back into the apartment. “James, get up, Siobhan’s here.” And then ran down the stairs.

I opened the screen door and went in. The apartment was immaculate as usual. The small bed was undisturbed. The big one showed clear signs of use by two bodies. 

James stood up beside the bed, stretching and scratching. His cock was half distended and his hair was sticking out in all directions. He smiled at me. “Lemme get a shower, Siobhan. I’ll be ready in fifteen minutes.”

I sat down on the end of the bed, looking at the sheets. James went in the bathroom, left the door slightly ajar, and I could hear him, pee, shower, and hum while he shaved. When he came out, towel wrapped around his middle, I watched as he dug out underwear and socks.

“James, were you and Trent sleeping together?”

He looked at me, still smiling. “Yes, Siobhan. We sleep together sometimes; most of the time we sleep separately.”

“Are you lovers?”

He pondered that for a moment, smiling. “No, we’re not in love with each other. We like each other a lot. I told you he’s been a very good friend to me.”

“You know what I mean,” I insisted. “When you sleep together, do you have sex with each other?”

“Sure, Siobhan, we have sex. Does that bother you?”

“Damn it, James, you know what I mean. Are you and Trent gay? What do you do with each other?”

“Siobhan, it’s not that simple. I don’t think Trent’s gay. He likes women. He just doesn’t have a woman lover right now.”

“And you like women too?”

“Sure, I haven’t been faking orgasms with you, you know. I love women in general. I think I’m even starting to love one in particular. I fully expect to marry one someday and have children with her.”

“But you sleep with Trent and have sex with him too? Do you two fuck each other too?”

“No, Siobhan,” he laughed, “we don’t fuck each other. I know gays are supposedly either tops or bottoms. I’m not either. My asshole’s still virgin. I don’t know whether Trent is or not. But I haven’t had my dick in his butt. Is that what’s bothering you?”

“Then what the hell do you two do with each other?”

“The same things you and I do, Siobhan. We kiss each other just like you and I do. I give him a hand-job or a blow-job. He does the same thing for me.”

“James, don’t talk about it like that. Why haven’t you told me about doing it with him?”

“I didn’t think it was that important, Siobhan. I haven’t tried to hide anything. You’ve been around us. I thought you could see what our relationship is. Does it bother you?”

“It makes me confused as hell. Especially about you and me.”

“Siobhan, Trent and I are very good friends. We’re not in love with each other. We don’t fuck each other. We sleep together and we have sex once in a while. Most of the time we just sleep together. I like it when he curls up against my back and puts his arm around me. I like to do the same with him. Does that make us queer? I don’t think so.”

“Well, it sure as hell makes me confused.”

“OK, you’re confused. Lemme get dressed and let’s go shopping. We can discuss all this later today.”

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Later that day, we had a sexual Olympiad. About six hours of all sorts of games – shot put to broad jump, equestrian maneuvers to breast stroke, javelin throw to pole vault, we tried all of them. Equestrian maneuvers? Horseback riding, gallop, gallop.

The next Saturday, we planned the same schedule. Trent lingered longer before going to work. He dropped a few hints that he’d like to join us in our fun and games. I gave it serious consideration for about two minutes. For the rest of the day, James kept me well occupied by himself.

On Monday, in Advanced English Comp, some sort of reality check occurred. On Thursday, I called James and told him I wanted to cancel our Saturday schedule. When he asked why, I told him that my panties usually got wetter as the week got closer to Saturday; this week, my panties had stayed dry all week. He asked if that meant what he thought it meant. I said I thought it did.

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(KIERAN)

“Were the kids good today?”

“They’re always good, Kieran. Kavan and Arial almost never fight and they even help with Kerry. It’s just that they’re so full of life they wear me out sometimes.”

“Are you too tired to tell me about the next guy? I’ll leave you alone for a change if you do. You’re probably tired of me too.”

“Kieran, don’t say stuff like that. I’m never too tired for you. I think you’re better than sleeping pills. Just leave me alone until after I tell you about Grant, OK?”

“OK. Did you see how Kerry paid attention tonight when I read the new dinosaur book to Kavan and Arial? It was almost like he understood what I was saying.”

“Yeah, I know. He scares me sometimes. Today I gave him an old book that Kavan and Arial have worn out. It has some beautiful art work in it. I thought he’d tear it up but he didn’t. He sat there with it across his fat little legs and looked at the pictures. He even turned the pages himself.”

“At his age? His fingers will turn pages already?”

“’Well, not really his fingers. He just slaps his fat little hand on the page and pushes until it sort of wads up and turns. I guess it’s his way of doing it.”

“And you really think he’s looking at the pictures?”

“I think so. He’ll sit there and his little mouth will work like he’s talking and he makes these weird noises.”

“Well, I guess we’ll have another reader on our hands, like Kavan and Arial. We read to them and sometimes he’s still awake. He likes to be held while we’re reading.”

“He’ll even sit still for Kavan to read to him. Arial’s getting better at reading every day and she tries to read to him sometimes.”

“She’s a little mother, isn’t she? It tickles me to see her try to change his diapers.”

“Yeah, well, don’t let her do it again when he’s pooped, not down on the carpet anyway. I almost never got it out of the carpet.”

“I told you I’d do it. You made me clean up Arial and Kerry and you chose to clean the carpet.”

“I know. Arial can do it OK if he’s just wet. She loves to play with him when he’s all naked and squealing and kicking.”

“Did I ever tell you I love you? I love you and I thank you for my kids.”

“They are great kids, aren’t they? Now if you’ll quit squeezing my breast and pinching my nipple, I’ll tell you about Grant.”

“OK but can I just hold on to it? I love to spoon up to you like this with your butt all soft and warm against me and your breast in my hand.”

<><><>

 (SIOBHAN)

It wasn’t really his fault. I was waiting behind another car. I didn’t know he was behind me. On the green signal, the car in front of me started to go through the intersection. An idiot ran the red light and the guy in front of me stomped on his brakes. I stepped on mine and stopped inches from his back bumper. The guy in back of me was a split second slow in stepping on his. His car gently tapped my back bumper. All the other cars drove away. Grant and I got out of our cars and were left looking at each other.

He started apologizing profusely. I held my finger in front of my lips, got back in my car, and drove into the parking area of a hamburger joint nearby. He followed me. We talked. We introduced ourselves. We looked for bumper damage and couldn’t find any on either car. He bought me a burger and fries for lunch.

“You have the most beautiful red hair I’ve ever seen,” he said between fries.

“How do you know?” I teased. “You haven’t seen all of it.”

I think he blushed. “When I can think again, would you go out with me sometime soon?”

He would have been called a real hunk by any of the girls I knew. 

“Yes.”

<><><>

 I was sitting with a group of girls in the school cafeteria, talking about, what else, men and boys, when Grant walked up. He was holding a small package, wrapped as a present.

“Hello, Siobhan. May I sit down for a second?”

“Please, Grant, sit,” I said, and then introduced him to the open-mouthed gawking girls across the table.

“I brought you a present, to say thanks for being so nice to me when I bumped your car yesterday.”

“You didn’t hurt anything, Grant. I couldn’t even find your dent in all the others on the bumper. You don’t have to give me a present.”

“I know that. But it’s something I wanted to do. Please don’t open it until tonight. And don’t tell your friends what the present is.”

“’Thanks, Grant, it’s very nice of you.

After he left, I almost had a riot on my hands, trying to explain how I’d met Grant. And trying to prevent my friends from taking the package away and opening it then and there.

As soon as dinner was finished at home that night, I went to my room with the excuse of studying. I unwrapped the package and found a small black box inside. When I opened the box, I found red wrapping enclosing something. When I opened the wrapping, I found a beautiful pair of panties. Nothing cheap like Frederick’s. Nothing sexy like Victoria’s. Just a single pair of expensive beautiful black panties. There was a small card under the panties. On it, I saw one word written, “Stendhal.” I dredged my memory banks and it finally came to me. A book we had read from in French class. “Le Rouge et le Noir,” by Stendhal. I guessed he had taken the class from the same teacher.

The next day, I was having lunch with the same girls when Grant walked up to the table again. “Stendhal?” he said. “Stendhal! I love Le Rouge et le Noir,” I replied.

He sat down and placed his hand on mine. “Siobhan, would you go with me to the free movie on Saturday night? They’re showing a classic French film.”

After he left, the other girls almost started a riot. “Shit, Siobhan, how come you always get the hunks?” “Come on, Siobhan, let us in on the secret. What’s this Stendhal stuff?” I just smiled enigmatically. I didn’t put the black on the red again until Saturday evening just before Grant picked me up for the movie.

<><><>

“Did he slap you too, the first time he made love to you?”

“No, but he opened my eyes. He wanted me to do something the first time, all the time, every time. No one else has always wanted to make love that way. Not even you, Kieran.”

“OK, you’ve got me hooked. Just what was this great erotic technique? The one the rest of us dummies don’t know.”

“Kieran, it wasn’t like that. It was something simple, like so much about him. He was always very kind and considerate. I always felt he wanted me to enjoy sex as much as he did, maybe even more.”

“Yeah, but what was it?”

“A secret for lovers, huh, is that what you want? I told you he wasn’t like that. I liked kissing him as much as I like kissing you. He didn’t make it seem like he was gulping down an appetizer in order to get to the main course. He was fun to kiss, hot as hell, but fun. It may be natural for us to close our eyes when we’re kissing; he liked to keep his open.”

“That’s not kinky; I like to do that too sometimes.”

 “He loved my breasts the same way you do. I liked it when he’d let me hold his head and guide his mouth around. He liked to keep his eyes open when we did that. Sometimes he’d look up at me and I’d see a grin in his eyes – is that possible? – and then he’d start sucking or licking again.”

“What’d he do when he got down between your legs? Put his eyeballs out on stalks, like some sort of marine creature, and then look at your face while he ate you?”

“Don’t, Kieran. He did something like that. But he wasn’t some sort of marine creature. He’d make sure I had a pillow under my head. So I could look down at what he was doing. He’d get his face down between my legs. He’d lock his eyes on mine and keep them there while his tongue worked his magic. He loved to love me like that, the same way you do.”

“Then why can’t you tell me what this little technique was, what he did when he was sliding his dick into you?”

“Kieran, I’ve been telling you. He liked to look in my eyes when we were making love.”

“Huh?”

“That’s it. What I’ve been telling you all along. He liked to love me with eyes wide open.”

“I’ll be damned.”

“I hope not, Kieran. The first time we really made love, we were in my bedroom at home. My father was working and my mother was out for the afternoon. She made sure Grant knew she wouldn’t be back before five o’clock, almost as though she was setting a deadline for us to be finished.”

“And then you did it, huh?”

“Yes, after an hour or two of fooling around. After he peeled my wet panties off me, my beautiful Stendhal black on red panties. After he undressed for me, slowly, smiling, teasing. I’d already known his cock for a few weeks by then. But when he undressed, he got down to his briefs and then held them with his thumbs, letting me get a good look at his bulge and his wet spot. When he pulled them down, his cock sprung back up and slapped against his stomach. He knew how to put on a good show.

“And then you did it, huh?”

“Kieran, damn it. Shut up. I’m telling this tale, not you.”

“Yes, Mommie.”

“Yes, we did it. He crawled up the end of my bed and pushed my legs apart. He got in position, reached down and rubbed that big red head between my red-hair covered lips. AND WE DID IT,” I yelled.

“Aw shit, Siobhan, that’s not fair. What the fuck was the big secret? Is that really it? Just keeping his eyes open?”

“Kieran, he rubbed his glans between my lips until it was all wet from me. I was waiting for him, eyes shut, to slide it in. When he didn’t, I opened my eyes and looked up at him.”

‘“Siobhan,’ he said, ‘don’t close your eyes. Leave them open. Look in my eyes. I want to see your eyes when I go into you for the first time’ – notice, he didn’t say fuck you for the first time – ‘and I want you to look into my eyes. I want to see if I can tell what you’re feeling; I want you to see what I’m feeling. I hope when I die, I can still remember your eyes when I go into you.’”

“And when you die, will you still remember his eyes?” Kieran asked.

“You’re my Alpha male now, Kieran. No other man can ever replace you in my heart and in my body. But you don’t have to say snide things like that about him. He was a good man, a wonderful lover. I just didn’t learn to love him the way I’ve learned to love you. But try to imagine how I felt. He had his dick just barely inside my lips. He didn’t shove it in. He waited. He wanted me to open my eyes. He wanted to look in my eyes when he put it in. He didn’t need to look down at his dick to see it sliding in. He wanted to see it, but in my eyes. That’s a damn sexy technique, Kieran.”

“I’m sorry, Siobhan. You’re right. You don’t say bad things about the women I’ve known. I shouldn’t do it either.”

“Anyway, Kieran, that was the first time I’ve ever made love with eyes wide open all the way through. And don’t ever think it wasn’t one damn hot experience. Grant didn’t get in any hurry. He stayed propped up above me, his arms straight, while he just slid his cock in and out, looking in my eyes every second. I watched his face change and I knew he was close to coming. He gave me just a little enigmatic smile and kept at it. He didn’t say, ‘I’m coming,’ or stuff like that. He just nodded once at me, his rhythmic movements became erratic, and then he pushed it in to the hilt, just like you do, and I could feel his contractions. When he was finished, he lowered himself on top of me, buried his face in my hair, and held me.”

“Did you come too?”

“I didn’t push him to do anything else. I’ve told you sometimes I’m content not to come, as long as I know you have. I like just holding you, with your dick inside me, feeling it gradually go soft and eventually slide out.”

“He left you hanging?”

“I suppose he did what he wanted to do, just like you. When he pulled it out, he moved down on the bed, on his knees between my legs. He put his hands under my buttocks and lifted me up so he could bend over and put his mouth on my cunt. He squirmed around until he found a position where he could get his mouth between my legs and he could look into my eyes at the same time. It is a damned erotic technique. You know it. You’ve done it often enough. Look at a woman’s face, into her eyes, when you’re eating her pussy. You can make me come every time. He could too.”

“How long was he good for?” Kieran asked.

“He was good for as long as it lasted. I guess that’s the problem with a love affair that lasts for a while. Sooner or later you start to think about it. Grant was always everything a woman could want, tall, dark and handsome, hung and horny, slow and gentle and considerate. Opened car doors for me. Walked on the traffic side of the sidewalk with me. Learned to listen to my mother, hug her and kiss her on the cheek, and then go ahead and do just what he wanted to do. I suppose my mistake was thinking too much about him and what sort of man he was and where we might be going with each other.”

“Looks like an uh, oh, is in order then, is it?” Kieran asked.

“Yes, little ones at first. Watching football on a weeknight was no problem, drinking a six pack was. Going out with the boys was no problem, coming back and telling me about smoking pot was. Missing a test at school and lying to the teacher about it was. Lying to me about why he missed a date was a big problem.”

“Who broke it off, you or him?”

“Me, I suppose. I think he knew his behavior was causing big problems. Maybe he deliberately made sure I knew about his bad side so I’d kiss him off. Maybe he was ready to move on to another girl. He could tell her she had the most beautiful blonde hair he’d ever seen. And the slut would fall for it.”

<><><>

(KIERAN)

We were facing each other in bed when she finished her story about Grant. I’d asked her to turn over so I could hear her when she whispered and wouldn’t have to ask her to repeat what she’d just said. I guess I felt a little guilty about getting a hard-on from hearing about what she’d done with someone else. As much as I loved to poke her with it, I didn’t want to do it while she was telling me about Grant.

“It sounds to me like your three lovers were all just pretty ordinary young guys with some ordinary faults. Are you sure none of them wanted to get into the kinky stuff, you know, like you dressing up in high-heeled black leather boots and beating their butt raw with a little black whip?”

“I haven’t told you about him yet.”

“No shit! Did you really have a guy who wanted to do that stuff?”

“No, Kieran, I didn’t. You know I don’t like that weird stuff. I don’t want to hurt anybody. It doesn’t turn me on.”

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t think me wanting to taste breast milk was weird. Sometimes I think I’d like to be a little baby just so I could get to nurse at your breasts.”

“Well, you can’t. I’ll never understand why you had to be bad and steal some of Kerry’s milk.”

“I didn’t steal it. It was just leftovers. He’d already got all he wanted.”

“Well, it sure got me hot as hell. Your big dick in my cunt, you almost breaking your neck bent over sucking the rest of the milk out of my breast – I came so hard I thought I’d died and gone to heaven.”

“Was the stuff we did with chocolate syrup weird - you remember? -when Arial was little?  When they grow up, I still think I’d like to teach Kavan and Arial and Kerry how to have fun with Hershey’s chocolate syrup.”

“I thought you’d forgotten about that. It’s been at least five years ago. Arial was just a few month old. Did you really enjoy your little taste of chocolate milk then?”

“You’re damn right I did. You did too, didn’t you?”

“Sure, but what did you do to me that time that you don’t do without the chocolate syrup?”

“Nothing, I guess. Maybe it was just being silly and having fun. What’s wrong with that? That’s the way sex should be some times.”

We were quiet then for a while. I tried to remember what we’d done that night when Arial was just a baby, a beautiful little angel who was already stealing my heart.

<><><>

I left Siobhan playing with Kavan in our bed and took Arial for her bath. She usually loved playing in the warm water, splashing me all over, cooing and smiling. But this time she was a little fussy, intermittently crying and then suddenly laughing. I knew it was because she was hungry for her nighttime feeding.

I carried her back in the bedroom wrapped in a towel, a naked bundle of beauty, trying to stuff her hands in her mouth to find something to suck on. I finished drying her and then tried to brush her sparse spun-gold hair. She was having none of it. She was crying by the time I had her diaper and nightgown on.

Siobhan unhooked the nursing bra and let her full heavy breasts spill out. I loved watching her uncover herself for Arial. Arial was clamoring for Siobhan’s breasts. I hoped she’d leave at least a sample for Kavan and then for me. Siobhan cradled Arial against her left breast and pulled the nursing bra back over the right one. I knew she sometimes had a small overflow in one while Arial was nursing on the other. Arial latched onto the strawberry nipple and began to suck hungrily. I watched for a minute and then held out my hand to Kavan.

He slid off the end of the end of the bed and grabbed my finger. I led him into the bathroom and we showered together. He and I always had a squealing good time playing. I washed his hair, that beautiful red hair his mother had given him, with baby shampoo. He was an unruly squirming brat when I washed the rest of him until I came to his penis. I gently checked his little sprout for any problems since his foreskin wasn’t retractable yet. He always stood still and watched when I did that, occasionally getting a little stiffie.

I led him back in the bedroom and helped him up on the bed. He knew the routine and stayed still while I finished drying him. I put a diaper on him, hoping that Siobhan was right when she said she thought he was getting the idea of potty training. I pulled his nightgown over his head, brushed his hair, turned him loose toward his mother. He crawled over toward her and sat down, Indian fashion, to watch Arial nurse.

I combed my hair, brushed my teeth, and then crawled in bed with my wife and kids. I was glad I was permitted to go without nightgown or diaper. I sat down, Indian fashion, beside Kavan and we watched Arial nurse. Siobhan switched her over to the other breast and Arial squawked in the brief instant when she was deprived of a nipple. She resumed noisily sucking on the other strawberry.

A few minutes later, Arial slowed down, gradually stopped, and her mouth lost its grip on Siobhan’s nipple. I hoped she was good for the night, at least most of it, so I carried her to her bed. When I returned, Kavan had taken Arial’s place. Siobhan was talking to him as he played with her breasts. He occasionally put his mouth on her teat and gave a desultory suck. I stretched out behind him and we both caressed him and talked with him and gradually quieted him into sleep. I carried him to his bed, knowing that he’d probably sleep for his typical nine or ten hours. I gave my usual big sigh when I returned to our bed and my wife.

I lay on my side, my face in front of her breasts, and pulled her against me. “I think they’re both dry tonight. Arial was hungry.” I nodded and took her strawberry nipple in my mouth, holding it between my lips, while I caressed her side with my hand. After a minute or so, I moved up to lie face to face with her. I kissed her simply, just on the lips, and lay looking into her eyes. “Is this paradise?” I asked. “Close enough for me,” she answered.

Somewhere in my brain a synapse snapped or something and I had a crazy idea about something I wanted to do. I slid off the bed, went in the kitchen to the refrigerator, and was back in a couple of minutes. I held it behind my back as I walked up to the bed. Siobhan looked at me apprehensively.

“Oh, shit, Kieran, what’re you up to now?”

I held the dark-brown plastic bottle out toward her. Hershey’s Chocolate Syrup. 

“Chocolate milk?” I whispered, begging.

“Kieran Connor Stuart, you’re sick. Do you understand? You’re one sick puppy.”

I tried to put a hangdog look in my eyes and face – a begging beagle puppy.

“I don’t give a fuck if I am, Siobhan. If I want to put chocolate syrup on your breasts, even if you’re lactating, if I want to suck on’em, what’s wrong with it?”

“There’s nothing wrong with it, Kieran. I’m only teasing. I guess I’ll never understand your fascination with my breasts. I do love you for it though, along with other things. But I want a good old-fashioned fuck before we go to sleep.”

I tossed the plastic bottle on the bed beside her. “Maybe I can manage that.”

She cupped her hands under her breasts and gave me a smile. 

“Just don’t put much on me. Don’t mess up the bed with it.”

I crawled on the bed on my hands and knees and straddled her legs. I leaned back above her so that my balls were cradled between her thighs and my dick was resting on her pubic hair and stomach. 

I picked up the bottle and pulled the top into the open position. I held it upside down and squeezed gently. One dark-brown drop oozed out and I caught it on my finger and held it out to Sioned’s lips. She leaned forward and sucked my finger clean. I think my dick must have thought it was going to get the same treatment. I hadn’t thought of that before but it seemed like a good idea so I told my dick to wait its turn. I squeezed out another big drop and stuck my finger in my mouth. It was good chocolate. I decided to see how it would taste with a little cunt flavor.

Siobhan was still holding her breasts for me. I turned the bottle upside down again and squeezed one drop on first one strawberry nipple and then the other. Damn, it did look enticing! I wondered why I’d never thought of it before.

Siobhan pressed gently against her breast and I waited to see what would happen. One white drop of milk oozed out of her nipple, and was held there by the larger drop of chocolate.

“You’d better get it, little boy,” she said. “Arial was hungry; I think she just about sucked all of it out of me for now.”

I got barely enough to taste, perhaps a teaspoon or so, sweet, sweeter than any I’d ever tasted, warm from her body, combined with the chocolate syrup. Her nipples still looked something like strawberries when I stopped and rose up and looked down at her again.

“What now, little boy?”

I picked up the squeeze bottle and slid downward on her legs.

“Oh, no, you’re not putting it down there.”

“Come on, Siobhan, I was just going to put a little in your navel.”

She looked at me, her eyes half closed, maybe trying to decide whether to believe me. She gave in.

I squirted the syrup in her navel more generously, almost to overflowing. It made a nice little brown puddle there in the middle of her milky skin. I leaned over again and didn’t stop until I’d licked all of it back out. By the time I stopped, she had her hands on my head, just as she so often did when my mouth was down lower. I straightened up over her and signed deeply and waited.

“OK, I’ll let you. But you’ve got to let me put some on you first.”

I didn’t have to be coaxed. I rolled off her, on my back beside her, handed the bottle to her, and shut my eyes. I didn’t even bother to ask where she wanted to put it. She surprised me. The syrup was cold on my nipples. I opened my eyes and she was bent over me, grinning. I shut my eyes again and waited.

“Where did you think I was going to put it, little boy?”

I didn’t care where she put it. I knew where I was going to put it when I got another turn. She used her mouth on both of my nipples. I couldn’t know whether mine were as sensitive as hers but it was enough to make my dick even harder. When she stopped, I waited again. She surprised me again. She skipped my navel.

“Damn, that stuff’s cold,” I said, after she’d laid down a long squirt from my balls, all the way up the shaft, and on the head of my dick. Her tongue was warm when she started licking it off. Then her mouth was hot when she took my cock in her mouth and sucked it clean.

When she stopped, I decided it was my turn and I wasn’t going to take no for an answer. I rolled half over, pushed her down on her back, and took the squeeze bottle out of her hand. I looked at her face and I knew she wanted me to do it.

“Kieran, don’t get it inside me, please. Just a little bit on the outside.”

“Can I put it on your clit?” She just smiled and I took that as an OK.

I parted the red tangles, easier to do now that we kept it trimmed, and used two fingers to pull her pussy open. I couldn’t see her clit but I knew it was just barely hiding where her inner lips joined. I squeezed a few drops just at the juncture. Damn, that looked inviting too. As I watched, the chocolate syrup began to run downward. I caught it in plenty of time before it got anywhere near the opening into her. I kept licking even after I couldn’t taste the chocolate.

“Kieran, please….stop….please,” she whispered, “don’t make me come with your tongue. I want your dick in me.”

She got her good old-fashioned fuck that night.

<><><>

As always, it was good to be quiet and warm and still, close together. We were lying in bed facing each other, our legs entwined, almost breathing the same air, the blanket and comforter over our shoulders. One of my hands was on her waist; one of her fingers was tracing lazy circles around on my chest.

My mind kept jumping from her story about Jake to Grant, back to James, and around again, all tumbled images of guys I never knew. They all had their faults, as I had mine. I wondered what had made her reject the three of them and then eventually choose me. I was glad she had.

“Kieran,” she whispered, “is your dick hard?”

“I don’t know. Let me check.” 

I made no effort to move my hand from her side; she slid her hand down to my dick. 

“Yep, it’s hard,” I said.

“Do you want to make love to me again tonight?”

“Yep.”

“Why?”

That was a strange question. “Because I love you. Is that a good-enough answer? Damn, Siobhan, there’s no answer to that question. What do you mean?”

“You’ve made love to me three nights in a row. We don’t usually do it this often. Are you trying to erase those other guys from my memory?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“You don’t have to do that, silly. I probably haven’t thought of any of them in the last ten years. You’re not competing with them. You’re the only man I want.”

“I hope so.”

“Come over here, little boy. Get on top of Momma.”

On top of her, I adopted the position she had told him Grant used. I supported myself above her, arms stiff, my eyes locked on hers. The dim light from the hallway lit one side of her face. She reached down to my cock, made sure the foreskin was retracted, and rubbed the head up and down in her wetness. I gradually began to slide it into her, never taking my eyes off hers.
 
Her legs slowly wrapped around me and we both moved and tilted and pushed and bent and pulled and pushed until I felt my pubic bone pressed against hers and my balls nestled against the soft warmth of her cheeks. I held still then, looking down in her eyes at the same time that she looked up in mine. We probably stayed like that for a minute or so, almost unblinking, until my arms began to tremble. She nodded once and I collapsed on her, my chest against her breasts, my face buried in that wild red hair I loved so much. I don’t think I’d made more than a few strokes when I felt her coming. I didn’t make but a few more after that until I started too.

A little while later, we were spooned up with each other, my dick soft and warm against her naked ass, my right hand cupping her left breast, my favorite way to go to sleep. We were in that quiet stage halfway between wakefulness and sleeping.

“Siobhan,” I mumbled into her hair, “I don’t care if I’m sick. I don’t give a shit what anybody else calls us. I know one thing. One of these days, Kavan will be a teen, with red hair on his balls and a dick that’s more than a good handful. Arial will be a princess with pointy little tits and a blonde little patch of hair over her pussy. Kerry will be a skinny kid whose dick is just starting to grow. I’m going to get a couple of bottles of Hershey’s Chocolate Syrup. I’m going to invite them to join us. We’ll put it on the boys’ dicks, and mine, and let you and Arial lick it off. We’ll put it on Arial’s tits, and yours, and the boys and I’ll lick them clean. We’ll even put it on your clit, and Arial’s, and the boys and I will lick it off. Is that sick? Would it be wrong to let them enjoy it like we just did?” 

“I don’t know, Kieran,” she said, “You know I’ve always loved good chocolate. They do too. Who knows what they’ll be like when they grow up?”


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