
 Copyright 1998, 1999 by Daphne Xu

I intended to write two versions of this: one G-rated and one X-rated.  I wrote a first draft after a long struggle, and started writing a second draft.  I haven't done anything with it the past year -- the creation date of this file is over a year ago.

The first draft was set in Victorian England.  After a friend commented that the twentieth-century and nineteenth-century diction really clashed and jarred, I set the second draft in 1950's Massachusetts, New York, and either Vermont or Virginia -- I couldn't decide which.

Maybe I'll finish this story sometime.

   Iolanthe
   by Daphne Xu
   Based on the Opera
   by Gilbert and Sullivan

   Part 1

Aaron Thatcher set his pen down and sighed.  "Nah, this will do.  It
don't have to be perfect.  At least I'm finished with this confounded
translation of Cicero."  He knew that he was a mediocre student at
Harvard University; it didn't matter much.  He spent more time on the
atheletic field and in various societies than at his desk.  Class
attendance was optional for the most part, as long as he finished his
papers and made adequate grades.  He was the ideal C student.

As a Harvard Man, Aaron's future was assured.  It was 1955, the economy
was flourishing, the world was at peace for the moment, the United States
dominated the world economically and militarily -- well, there was the
USSR and its military and ideological goal of world dominance, but
that was all the more opportunity.  

This was his last assignment before Easter Vacation.  He was leaving
the very next day with his friend and roommate William to visit his roommate's family in Arcadia, an obscure place in southwestern Vermont.  His trunk was all packed
and ready for the vacation.

  [Maybe include a sex scene with William here]
  [Or maybe I should wait until vacation]

The next morning, he sat on his trunk with William just outside the gate to Harvard Yard.  William had a trunk, too, a smaller one.  They waited for the limoseone to Logan Airport.  William had reserved the limo several days ago, and it
arrived precisely on schedule.  The chauffeur opened the door and stepped out from the driver's seat.  He tipped his hat, "Good morning, gentlemen."

The chauffeur opened the trunk and helped Aaron and William slide their trunks inside.  They got in the back seat, and off they went to Logan Airport.  This was a limosene, so it did not go the rapid clip that cabs went.  Nevertheless, they made it to Logan [Boston International?] Airport in good time.

Aaron sat next to the window on the small propeller plane, and William sat next to the isle.  He watched as the propellor turned around once, twice, thrice, before spinning up into a roar.  He remembered when he was a young kid, during World War II, a man standing up on a ladder, reaching up, and yanking the propellor blade down, to start the aircraft.  He'd always imagined witht terror the man getting caught up in the propellor as it turned on.  Did that ever happen?  In any case, he was now relieved that airplain engines started themselves up automatically.

The airplane zoomed down the runway and took off.  Aaron and William spent the flight talking, and before they knew it, the plane was landing on a small airfield.

William and Aaron stepped down the stairs of the plane.  William's parents were waiting at the
bottome of the stairs for them, and greeted them enthusiastically.  William hugged his mother and father, before turning to Aaron.  "This is my friend and roommate,
Aaron Thatcher.  Aaron, I would like you to meet my parents."

Aaron shook their hands and said, "I am pleased to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Bluth."

"All my pleasure, I'm sure," replied Mrs. Bluth.

Two airport men helped stow the trunks in the Bluths' huge car, and off they went.  The Bluths had a chauffeur, so Mr. and Mrs. Bluth talked with Aaron and William about life, the universe, and everything.  Aaron looked out at the landscape as the car drove along a narrow windy road toward the Bluth estate.  He opened the window.  The air was sweet and fresh, he
thought, the woods clear
and peaceful, interspersed with brilliant green wide-open meadows.  The sky was bluer and brighter than he'd ever seen before.  In the distance to the north, Aaron could see on the horizon green mountains, a few with rock tips where the mountains went above the tree line.

The scene was so pastoral, it reminded him of Beethoven's Pastoral
Symphony.  Perhaps this was the Green Meadow of the old Burgeous stories he'd read as a youth, with Peter Rabbit, Jimmy Skunk, Johnny Chuck, and Reddy Fox.  What a place to live, he
thought.  It would be wonderful to get away from the hustle and bustle of modern New York City and and the learned environment of Cambridge, Massachusetts.

A small river or large brook wound its way through the meadow, in and out of the woods at the edge.  At one point, they drove over a bridge crossing the river.  The road led through a small village.  About five miles beyond,
they entered through a gate and drove up and stopped in front of a large Manor.  Two servants
emerged from the house and brought their trunks inside.  "Dinner is in
two hours.  William, you go and show Aaron around."

William first showed Aaron to his guest suite, just across the hall
from his own room.  Aaron's trunk was already in the room.  A
bathroom, with running water, was off his room.  Aaron was thankful
for the modern facilities inside this ancient mansion -- castle, almost.  It would be taking things
just a bit too far if there were no running water, electric lights, or other modern utilities.

At dinner, the family sat at one end of a long table.  Mrs. Bluth
commented, "It is so nice to have young faces around again.  It
gets so lonely here, with only servants around.  Why it almost seems
like yesterday, when William and Adele were just little ones, running
around and getting into everything.  Now, Adele is off and married,
and William is off at Harvard University."  She turned to Aaron, and asked.
"Your father, he is Chairman and CEO of Monstro Holdings now, is he not?" Aaron nodded.
"Such a lofty position.  He must be extraordinarily busy."  Aaron's
father indeed had attained the highest corporate position he could.  The Board had elected his father Chairman four years ago, upon the death of the former Chairman, his grandfather.
Aaron knew, of course, that was why Harvard had accepted him despite his lackluster
performance in Prep School.

After a wonderful dinner and a relaxing evening, Aaron slept
wonderfully that night.  The next morning, Mrs. Bluth was outside in
the impeccably manicured lawn, playing croquet.  William wasn't up yet,
and Mr. Bluth had apparently departed for New York City for the day.  "Do you play
croquet?"  Mrs. Bluth asked.

  [Potential Sex Scene]

"Ma'am, I played sometimes as a young boy."  Aaron won the first two rounds.  The third game, he deliberately missed one of the balls and let Mrs. Bluth win.

    ******** Purely First Draft Beyond Here *************

That afternoon, they all went to a horserace.  Before the race
started, they stood around socializing with other noble families.
Aaron was introduced to many noble families, and met a number of young
ladies.  It seemed like some of the families were deliberately
directing his attentions toward their young daughters --- eightteen
years old, sixteen, even as young as thirteen.  He flirted with them
all, and left them giggling.

 [DESCRIBE AN INTERACTION HERE]

The horserace was exciting, as it always was, but nothing new.  Some
people were betting on the horses, but he never did.  He could never
figure out who was more likely to win; he never understood the odds.
In fact, he was never good at math, any more than at any other
academics.

That night, he went out for a walk in the meadow.  The moonlit meadow
was as gorgeous at night as it was in the day, but in a different sort
of way.  The sky was clear, the stars oh so bright, and there were oh
so many of them up there.  That white trail across the sky, going
north-south --- so THAT must be the Milky Way!  He knew about it from
his readings, of course, but he had never seen it himself.  In London
where he grew up, the gaslights and the heavy smoky fog kept him from
seeing it.

He walked through the meadow, back and forth.  Funny, he thought, how
the moonbeams seemed to flicker and jump around him.  Almost, he
thought, like a young human form out of the corner of his eyes.
Whenever he turned to look, it always vanished.

Aaron returned to the Manor and retired for the night.

The next day, William and he went on a picnic.  They lugged heavy
backpacks of sandwiches and drink and other edibles into the woods.
As they walked along the trail, Aaron thought he saw someone behind a
tree out the corner of his eye.  He turned and looked, but saw
nothing.  Forgetting it, he continued talking with William.

Then he saw it again, out the corner of his eye.  It was very
definitely a human form, a young lady in white flowing garments.  It
vanished as soon as he turned his eye toward it.  Just a random
vision, he thought.  It reminded him of the effect of the moonlight
last night.

William led him to a clearing.  They spread out a cloth, sat down, and
passed out the sandwiches.  Aaron was hungry after the walk.  He was
in good shape from college athletics, yet he had a good appetite.

The image came again.  And vanished again.  Definitely, next to a
tree, he thought.  This time bright shimmering green gown.  Long
flowing black hair.  What was going on?!?  William was saying
something, Aaron wasn't following.  He asked, "Did you see something?"

"Eh?  What do you mean?" replied William.

"I just thought I saw someone over there..."

"Nobody's out here.  Just you and me."

"But I'm sure I saw...  And a couple times earlier this morning---"
just then another flash, this time the opposite side, just out the
corner of his eye.  "There, I saw it again!"

"Just your imagination working overtime," replied William.  But then he
continued thoughtfully, "There have been rumors, stories...  People
encountering things like, well," he hesitated, then ejected it out
with a contortion of his face, "Fairies.  Poppycock."

Aaron agreed.  This was nineteenth century Great Britain, at the
height of British power and rationality.  Aaron had nothing to do with
fairy tales; they were girlish, only suitable for little girls.
Daintiness, yechhh!  He recalled thinking exactly that in his
childhood days, when a girl wanted to play with him once.

They finished eating, packed up, and returned to the Manor.

Suddenly, there it was again, a vision out the corner of his eye, this
time, he was sure.  A young naked girl, leaning against a tree, facing
him.  He shook his head, blushing, and the vision vanished.  Was it
his imagination?  Or did he hear a high-pitched giggling?  It echoed
in his mind.

"You okay?" asked William.  "You're... blushing."

"No, just my imagination," answered Aaron, burning in embarrassment.
What was his mind doing to him?

That evening, after everyone went to bed, he went out for another
midnight stroll.  Just like last night, the sky was starry-bright and
clear.  The moon bright in the sky, moonlight shimmering, moonbeams
dancing all around him.  The light collesced into a moving, flitting
form, dancing around all over the place.  He could see it clearly now,
the naked form of a young girl, about 15 or 16 years old.  She flitted
back and forth, side to side, long black hair flowing about her.  He
stared, blushing horribly in embarrassment, as she danced around.  He
could almost imagine her singing and giggling.

She flitted toward him, reached out and touched him on the forehead.
"You like?"  He blushed and fell backwards, into a muddy spot in the
meadow.  He blinked and looked up, but she was nowhere to be seen, but
her giggle echoed through his mind.

He stood up and looked down around his clothes.  How was he ever going
to explain this?  He told himself that he didn't have to explain
anything; he could just give his clothes to the servants to wash.  He
walked home.

He went out again the next night, but nothing happened.  And the
following night as well, nothing happened.

But two days before he was due to return to Oxford, he wandered into
the meadow by himself.  He walked around, aimlessly, at the edge of
the meadow, near the first trees of the forest.  Then --- he saw her,
leaning against a tree!  He looked straight at her.  She was still
there; she didn't vanish as soon as he turned.  She was wearing bright
green shimmering, translucent garments.  Her pitch-black hair extended
down to her waist.  Her skin was milky white, with just a hint of
yellow.  She wore soft green slippers on her feet.  He could just
barely make out the shape of her body through the layers of her
garments.

He stared for a moment, then realized he was staring.  "Good Day,
Milady."

The girl giggled and answered, "Good Day, Sir!"

Aaron tried his best to maintain his dignity.  "It's a lovely day out
here, is it not?"

"Yes, it's brilliant.  Even the fairies are attracted to this locale,"
replied the girl.  She shook her head and her long black hair floated
up in waves.

"Not at all like where I live.  Very different."

"Where do you come from?"

"My family's ancestral lands are in Cornwall, but I grew up in London.
My father was a judge in the Courts of Chancery and a member of the
House of Peers.  Two years ago, the Queen appointed him Lord
Chancellor."  The girl listened avidly, and he continued, "When I
finish my studies at Oxford, I shall become a London Barrister.
Eventually, after a few years, if everything goes as planned, I shall
enter the Courts of Chancery myself, and follow in my Father's
footsteps.  In approximately twenty years, I shall enter the House of
Peers in my own right."

"So, everything has been carefully planned and laid out," commented
the girl.

"Precisely.  Everything in life must be precisely and impeccably
scheduled."

"And nothing can happen which might upset those plans?"

Aaron paused, perplexed.  That idea had never occured to him.
Certainly, no girl he had ever flirted with at an afternoon Tea, or in
one of the numerous Balls they held at Oxford (where young ladies came
from their seminaries, properly escorted of course, to meet proper
young noble men) had ever expressed any kind of doubts.  He was
nobleman, an Oxford Scholar, with an important Father, the world at
his feet.

But he finally regained his composure.  "No, nothing will change that.
It's utterly inconceivable."  He thought a moment.  "No, not even the
Napoleonic wars with France changed things.  The current problems we
have in China won't change anything."  He thought back earlier, "Well,
I shall have to admit, some heads did roll with the fiasco of the
American Colonies.  But that was more than half a century ago." he
leaned toward her and whispered, "I was never supposed to hear this,
but I did overhear people talking.  King George at the time may have
been," he paused and looked about.  "Insane."

The girl giggled and danced aside, her hair flying up in the breeze.
He suppressed a laugh.  "Milady, I assure you that is nothing to be
amused about.  It's a most serious thing when a reigning monarch of
the British Empire becomes insane -- highly irregular.  It cost us
most of the American Colonies!"  The girl laughed even more.  What was
the matter with girls?  Couldn't they take anything seriously?  He
fumed.

The girl stopped and turned to him.  "Oh, I've perturbed you -- caused
you offense.  Ettiquette has never been my strong point.  We always
flit about and giggle at anything and everything.  It's difficult to
take anything seriously when ---" she stopped suddenly.

"When?" Aaron prompted.

"Oh, nevermind," she danced away giggled once more.  Aaron, forgetting
himself and his dignity, ran after her.  At Oxford, he ran track,
rowed crew, and played on the soccer team.  He could run devilishly
fast, but not in the formal day-to-day suit he was wearing.

He followed her into the woods, but immediately lost her.  After
looking about for a few minutes, he was about to give up and return to
the Manor when a voice called out, "Hey there!"  He saw her peering
from behind a tree.  As he turned toward her, she disappeared behind
the tree.  She was no longer there when he reached the tree.  But a
voice came out again from another direction, "Hello!"  Turning, he
glimpsed her before she disappeared again into the trees.  He ran
toward where he saw her, but again she had gone.

He heard her giggle again.  This time, from way up above.  He looked
up, and there she was, directly above him on a tree branch 15 feet up,
balanced on one foot on the branch, her other leg pointing straight
back.  His eyes focused on her bare legs, and followed them up under
her dress...  He flushed and turned his head down.  No proper Lady
would ever let a man see her legs or ankles.  Only an actress or a
lowlife would do anything like that.

Embarrassed and angry at himself for losing his dignity, he turned and
left the woods.  He returned to the Manor, and spent the rest of the
day with William and his family.  After awhile, he felt guilty about
abandongin the girl in the woods.  Who was she anyway?

The evening before he had to return to school, a ball was held in a
neighboring House.  An invitation arrived that very day, specifically
addressed to Aaron Thatcher.

 [Describe an interaction here.  Read Celeste's comments.]

At the dance, every mother seemed to be urging him to dance with and
talk to her young daughter.  He danced with many; most of them girls
over 16, but a couple were as young as 12.  Once mother even urged him
to take her 13-year-old daughter out for a walk in the gardens.  What
was going through the mother's mind, he wondered?

After finishing one Waltz and releasing the girl to her mother, he
walked around for some refreshments.  Someone tapped his shoulder.
Great, he thought.  Another mother wanting to get him for her
daughter.  But he turned and looked, it was a young lady by herself.
Where was her escort?  At a second look, he realized it was that girl!
What was she doing here?  She was dressed like the other girls here,
in a formal gown.

Wordlessly, she pulled him onto the dance floor.  They were starting
another slow dance.  As they danced, she said in a surprisingly
serious tone, "I apologize for teasing you and driving you off like
that this afternoon."  Aaron mumbled something, he wasn't sure what.
In the dance, they naturally drifted toward the large doors to the
garden.

As the dance music stopped, the girl quietly led him outside.  Aaron
barely noticed exclamations behind him, "Who was that girl?  Ever seen
her before?"  They passed other couples standing and talking.  In some
of the more hidden recesses of the garden and surrounding places,
couples were doing a bit more than talking.  Music floated down
arround them, most likely from the windows above, Aaron thought.

They walked hand-in-hand through the garden, by the statues, and out
around the stone wall.  Oops, two people were there.  What was that
girl DOING, laying down like that, dress pulled partially up, letting
a GUY stick his hand up her dress between her legs like that?!?  How
old was that girl, anyway?  Thirteen, perhaps?

They continued walking, the girl leading him, until they found a
reasonably private place.  The girl turned and faced him, reached up
and put her hands around his shoulders.  Slowly, he put his hands
about her waist.

"So you're leaving tomorrow," she said.

"Yes, I go back to Oxford.  This really is only a short spring
vacation."

"I will miss you."  She reached up and kissed him on the cheek.  He
jumped, startled, pulling away.  She looked sad, disappointed.
"You're not offended, are you?" she asked.

"No, uh.  No.  Not at all."  Gathering courage, he pulled back to her,
leaned down, and kissed her on the lips.  Gently at first, but then
with growing eagerness and excitement.  They pressed tightly against
each other.

Then, they reluctantly pulled apart, gradually. They couldn't break
contact completely, so they pulled apart until their hands were on
each other's shoulders.  Then pulled apart further, sliding their
hands down the other's arms, until their fingers clasped each other.

Then they came together again.  They stayed like that for some time,
then were interrupted by a servant who informed them that the party
was over now and William and the Bluths were waiting for him.  The
servant then left discreetly.

"Well, I guess it's goodbye now," he said.

"Yes...  Goodbye," replied the girl.  "Oh, I forgot.  I don't know
your name."

"The name's Thatcher.  Aaron Thatcher.  And may I ask what your name
may be?"

"Iolanthe," replied the girl.

"I-o-LAN-thee," echoed Aaron.  "Iolanthe...  Good-bye, Iolanthe."
They separated and the girl vanished into the dark.  Aaron returned to
the remnants of the party.

 ***********************************************************

Back at school, Aaron tried to concentrate on schoolwork, without
success.  That name, "Iolanthe", persistently echoed through his mind.
That face was seared in his vision.  The memories of how she hed
appeared to him on numerous occasions, kept replaying themselves
through the day, through the night.  That view of her at night; had
that been a dream, or what?  He often found himself spontaneously
blushing at the memory.  Several nights, he dreamed all sorts of
strange, embarrassing dreams.  He woke up with slimy stains in his
bedclothes, down at the top of his legs.  How disgusting!  His
roommate had to know, surely, he thought with unbearable
embarrassment.

The days were all so empty and listless.  He couldn't get anything
done.  He tried attending a couple formal parties on weekends, but
they didn't help.  Nothing did.

His advisor scolded him once, saying he was unable to believe how
shiftless he had become.  He was bad enough before, but now he wasn't
doing {\em anything!!!}  At least before, he managed to do half-way
decent on his work.  But now...

Aaron froze up, embarrassed.  He couldn't say anything.  He resolved
to improve, but he slipped right back.

Finally, just before the end of the semester, on a spontaneous
impulse, he packed his trunk, drew out a certain amount of money from
his account, called a Hansom and took the train back to Arcadia.  A
Hansom took him from the train station there to the village in
Arcadia.  He checked into the Inn.  He didn't really think he should
visit William's family this time.

He couldn't get to sleep that night.  The idea of actually
encountering the girl, Iolanthe, filled him with shivering excitement
and dread.  He felt like he was about to plunge into something
deliciously forbidden.

Finally, unable to sleep, he went out for a walk in the night.
Leaving the village, he followed the road into the meadow, and walked
along one of the numerous trails.  As before, the moonlight and
starlight were bright, almost blinding.  For awhile, nothing happened.
He continued walking along the trail.

He saw something out the corner of his eye, off to his right.  He
looked, but saw nothing.  He continued walking, heading toward the
woods.  Another vision appeared out the corner of his eye to his left,
but again he saw nothing.  Then, at the edge of the woods, he thought
he saw a human form leaning against a tree.  He approached, and
squinted, looking as closely as possible.  Yes, it was that girl.  She
was wearing thin whispy white garments.

"Iolan--" he began, then, remembering his dignity, cleared his throat
and restarted.  "Good Day, Milady.  I trust you are in the enjoyment
of good health."

Iolanthe burst out laughing.  Aaron, mortified momentarily, shortly
joined in.  They laughed for a few minutes.  The tension was relieved.
Iolanthe jumped up and embraced him, kissing him on the cheek.  He
embraced her tightly.  Her long black hair engulfed them both.

"I wondered if I would ever see you again!" exclaimed Aaron, after
they separated.

They walked together through the meadow, hand in hand, talking.  They
headed in the direction of the village.  Aaron mentioned that he was
staying in the village inn, and asked Iolanthe where she lived.
Iolanthe answered cryptically, "Oh, pretty much anywhere."  Aaron
wondered at that, but suddenly realized how sleepy he was.  They
parted near the village entrance.  Before parting, Aaron asked if he'd
see her the next day.  Iolanthe answered, "Of course."

Back in bed at the Inn, Aaron lay in bed face down.  He shivered in
excitement, and imagined himself with Iolanthe doing all sorts of
interesting things.  He saw the shape of her body in his mind, and
unconsciously thrust himself forward and back on the bed.  He
continued until something exploded in his mind, and something else
simultaneously squirted out down below.  He promptly fell asleep.

He woke up late the next morning, and noted with disgust the slimy
gunky bedclothes sticking to him.  Blast, he thought to himself.  He
had done it again!  He had better clean that up himself, before the
servants arrived.  They would know he had been very naughty that
night.  He was also disgusted with himself for imagining such
degrading images of such a virtuous damsel as Iolanthe.

He had a soothing bath, then got dressed and went out.  Upon exiting
the Inn and closing the door behind him, he jumped as a voice giggled
and called, "Aaron!"  He turned; t'was She, right off to the side.
She ran up to him and took his hands.

"Iolanthe!  You weren't there waiting for me all this time, were you?"

Iolanthe said nothing.  She led him out of the village, through the
meadow, and toward the woods.  Aaron wondered what she was up to.  He
looked around, and froze as she put her arms around him from the rear,
and kissed the back of his neck.  She pulled herself up on him, put
her legs around him, riding him piggy back.  To his surprise, she felt
virtually weightless --- light as a feather, literally.  What was she,
really?  That question came to his mind, not for the first time.

She felt soft and smooth against his back.  He reached back and lifted
her up onto his shoulders.  He ran around, pretending to kick a
football around the meadow, feeling as excited playful as a young
child.  Iolanthe rode for awhile, humming to herself and laughing.
Then she jumped up, and stood on his shoulders.  Aaron stopped and
stood still, thinking Iolanthe might fall, but her footing was
perfect.  He looked to the side at her bare feet, her bare ankles,
followed her bare legs up, blushing...  Where did all her clothes go?

"Iolanthe..." he started.  She jumped down and stood facing him,
naked.

"What's wrong?  Don't you like me?" asked Iolanthe lightly.

"Yes, but--" she kissed his lips, and ran her hands down his front,
back, and sides.  He felt his clothes spontaneously loosening, then
disappearing altogether.  He felt her hand softly slide down him, then
cup and hold him between his legs.  He jumped back.  "Hey!  This isn't
right!"

"You like it, I can tell," answered Iolanthe.

"But it's still not right."  He looked at her, his eyes drawn down
between her legs.  To his surprise, he saw she wasn't built like
himself or other guys he knew.  There was no hair at all down between
her legs, and also that thing down between his own legs that
frequently caused him embarrassment was completely absent on her.
Just a slit separating a couple of smooth folds, going down between
her legs.  How strange! he wondered.

He reached out to touch it, but pulled back.  Never touch himself or
anyone there, he was told as a kid.  It was self-abuse to do it to
himself, and far worse to do it to another.  But she took his hand and
led it to her.  "We shouldn't...  We're not even married," he
complained.  He had heard something like that before.  Not that he
knew what it meant to be married.  He wondered about it.

Iolanthe asked, "Do you want to marry me?"

Aaron had not thought of it before, but he realized he did want to
stay with Iolanthe, live with her forever.  "Yes," he answered.

"Okay, we're married now."

"Bu-bu-bu-but, the ceremony!  The wedding!  The marriage license!
Don't we have to do that?"  He thought of all the weddings he attended
while growing up.  Aunts', cousins', his father's fellow nobles.  So
many weddings, he'd sat through.

"Oh, I'd forgotten," said Iolanthe.  "We fairies don't do all that.
When we agree to marry, we marry.  Just like that.  Not like the
ceremonies of you mortals."

"Oh, you're a fairy?"

"Yes," she answered simply.  "I was meaning to tell you.  But I kept
putting it off.  But I see you're not really surprised."

"No.  I suspected something of the sort."

They walked around, holding hands.  She told him about her fairy life
and family, how they did little other than dance around and sing.
Sometimes, they helped with storms and other weather phenomena, but
usually it was all play.  Downright boring.

Aaron forgot his and Iolanthe's nakedness.  They talked the rest of
the day.  By the end, Iolanthe agreed to have a mortal wedding.

As they walked back toward the road leading to the city, Iolanthe
said, "I almost forgot."  She waved her hands, and they were instantly
clothed again, the same clothes they had worn earlier.

Aaron couldn't wait to get back to the Inn and send out letters
announcing the engagement, and preparing for the wedding.  He imagined
it would be a fancy wedding, Iolanthe wearing a long bright white
wedding gown.  Back in his room he got out his trusty quill and ink
bottle, and started writing letters.  He first wrote to William back at
Oxford.  Then he wrote his father in London and his family.  Then a
few other boyhood friends.

He rushed to arrange other things, the wedding date, the church and
the local deacon, and so forth.  The wedding would be held here in the
village.

The first reply was from his father, and came by express courier only
a few days later.  The letter warned him not to throw his life away,
and told him to get back to Oxford immediately.  If he married that
girl, whoever she was, his father would disown him.  He must wait
until later, after he established himself in his work, before
marriage.  And then, he must marry only the most proper person, one
suited to his station in life.  Not some little nobody.

A letter from William next came.  William also expressed surprise and
disappointment.  Why had Aaron left school?  Everyone was wondering
about him.

Nobody else replied.

The wedding was therefore a much smaller event than he had
anticipated.  A few guests from the village came.  To his surprise,
with no prior warning, William and his mother came to the wedding.
Nevertheless, it was a most lovely ceremony.  Aaron wore a brand-new
black tuxedo, and Iolanthe was dressed up all in white, just as he
imagined her.

He talked briefly with William and William's mother after the wedding.
They both expressed concern, but wished him happiness.

Aaron and Iolanthe spent the wedding night and several days following
at the Inn.  Aaron discovered a whole new range of experiences, some
he had never dreamed of, others he had only dreamed of to his
embarrassment and shame once he woke up.  Iolanthe taught him that
there was nothing degrading about those feelings.

Aaron received another letter, this time from his father's attorney.
It confirmed that he was disowned now, and no longer a member of his
father's family.  Aaron was past caring.  He had a new family now.

He bought a small plot of land just outside the village, and had
builders build a house.  That took up most of the remainder of Aaron's
money, so he had to get a job.  He worked as a clerk for the village.
Iolanthe planted a garden.

Life was pure paradise for Aaron and Iolanthe the months following the
wedding.

 ***********************************************************

Life continued for Aaron and Iolanthe.  Aaron worked daily as a
village clerk.  Iolanthe had her garden, and did whatever she did
during the day.  Often, she dropped in on Aaron at work.  Work was
rather leisurely for Aaron; this being a village, he did not have much
to do.  But he had to be there.

The rest of the day they spent together at home, often in bed, often
out of bed exploring new and interesting things to do.  When they
weren't together, Iolanthe was always within hearing range, and came
whenever he called.  They shared the same bed at night --- something
his parents never did.  Although sometimes he woke up at night or in
the morning and she wasn't in his bed.  However, she always appeared
when he called.

Until one day, she disappeared.  They had been together four months.
Aaron returned home from work to find her gone.  That in itself wasn't
suspicious.  She didn't respond to his call announcing he was home.
That was suspicious.  No, that was very unusual; unprecedented in
fact.  What was up?  He called out for her, but there was no response.
He didn't stop to change clothes, but went out into the meadow looking
for her, calling out her name.  No response.

He went to bed alone, for the first time in four months.  He tossed
and turned, unable to get to sleep.  Got up, took a drink of wine,
went back to bed, tossed and turned, got up, took another drink of
wine, went back to bed, tossed and turned, got up, finished the bottle
down, went back to bed, tossed and turned, got up, reached the toilet
just in time, vomited up all the wine he'd drunk as well as everything
else in his stomach, went back to bed, tossed and turned, etc.  He did
not get a wink of sleep that night.

Before the sun rose, he ran out and tried to find Iolanthe again.  No
luck.  What was the matter?  Had something happened to her?  Could she
have been hurt in the meadow?  In the forest?

He reported to work that day, and told everyone that Iolanthe had
disappeared.  He took the day off, to try to find her.  He first went
to William's Manor, and asked his family.  They didn't know anything.
Taking the next few days off, he tried every house in the village,
then every other house within ten miles.  No luck whatsoever.

As he looked farther and farther afield with no luck, he became more
and more desparate.  While actively looking, he managed to keep his
sanity intact and the horror and uncertainty blocked away.  At night,
after the first couple of days, the horror of possible death washed
over him.  He cried bitterly to sleep.  He screamed and shouted for
God, against him, begging him, pleading, vicious denunciations --- all
unavailing.  She was gone.

His employer finally told him to face the facts.  She was dead or
gone; he could do nothing about it now.  The bitter, angry emotions,
eventually settled into an empty numbness.  He felt perpetually
drugged.

Two months after Iolanthe's disappearance, Aaron packed everything
into his trunk.  Iolanthe's wedding gown, slippers, gloves, wilted
flowers, and other items from the wedding --- all that remained of
Iolanthe --- were packed into the bottom of the trunk before
everything else.  He sold the house and plot, and mounted a cab,
determined to return to London and face his Father.

 ***********************************************************

   Part II

Iolanthe silently watched the cab as the horses drew it over the
bridge across the creek off through the woods.  She was bound to the
creek, limited to underneath and just beside the bridge.  The air had
been full of Aaron's cries, his unending searches, his desparate
weaping.  She'd wept, herself.  She wished there were some way she
could have called out to him, or otherwise let him know.  But it was
impossible; the binding did not allow it.  It would be her death if
she could.  She watched as the Hansom disappeared into the woods, then
coughed and blew a runny nose before diving to the bottom of the
creek.  There was nothing left for her up there, she thought bitterly
to herself.  She should have just taken the execution and gotten it
over with.

She had never meant it to go this far.  It was death for a fairy to
marry a mortal; a capital crime.  She'd been totally bored with the
life of three centuries, singing, tripping, dancing all around with
her fairy band.  The fairy band had visited Arcadia to play around and
have fun, sometimes teasing the locals and gossiping about them.
Fleta, another fairy, had pointed out that guy, saying how cute he
was.

Yes, Iolanthe thought; he definitely was cute.  Unbelievably so,
especially for a mortal.  He was a young nobleman, pompous and vain,
but engagingly so.  She only intended to have a little fun with him.

She occasionally flashed herself to him, in various guises.  She
didn't let the other young man, or that man's family see her; just the
new boy.  She giggled at his reaction whenever he glimpsed her, and
sometimes let him hear her.  She could always make him drop his
pompous exterior.

When he came out at night, she knew she had him hooked.  Once, she
appeared naked to him.  She knew just how young mortal men reacted to
the young naked female form; she looked just like a 16-year-old female
of their species.  It was only a short time before she appeared and
talked with him.  She was surprised at how jealous she felt when he
went to that ball, so she went there herself and took him over.

But he --- Aaron was his name, she learned --- left and returned to
Oxford, and the following days were long and empty for Iolanthe.  She
flitted from flower to flower, danced on the dewdrops as usual, but
felt no joy or excitement in it.  She returned to fairyland and
rejoined her band for a few weeks, but then returned to Arcadia.  She
was unable to get into the mischievous antics of her fellow fairies.

She flitted from tree to tree in Arcadia, just as bored and lonely.
"Very unfairy-like" she wrily observed to herself.  He had probably
forgotten her by now; probably had a mortal girl back in Oxford.

But one night, she awoke and emerged from the morning glory she'd
spent the night in.  She had a sense, a presence.  Off in the
distance, she saw a boy or man walking about.  Was it he?  Yes, it
was!

They dilly-dallied a number of days, and she tried to seduce him.  He
wanted marriage, and she was very happy.  A fairy married the instant
they both agreed, but Aaron insisted on having a mortal wedding.
Iolanthe had never understood why mortals insisted on formal weddings,
but it was a wonderful experience.

Those four months following the wedding had been the happiest in her
life so far.  But she knew it couldn't last.  Eventually, she would be
caught.  And sure enough, one afternoon, the Fairy Queen had swooped
down and caught her and brought her to the fairy band.  In front of
all the fairies, the Queen had summarily judged her guilty of the
crime of marying a mortal, and sentenced her to death.  Then, to
Iolanthe's surprise, she suspended the sentence of death to eternal
penal servitude, provided that she never contact her husband again.

The Queen let her choose where to serve her sentence, and suggested
all sorts of nice places.  To everyone's surprise, she chose the creek
underneath the bridge in Arcadia.  So she could be as close as
possible to her husband and the place where she knew so much happiness
for a short while.

She sensed, and occasionally heard, Aaron's anguished calls for her,
his desparate searching, the panicked, bitter weaping at night.  SHe
often dove down to the bottom of the creek, hiding inside a plant's
leaves, drowning her sorrows away.  But always she came back up.

She was tempted several times to call out to Aaron, summons him.  But
the bond that kept her in the creek also prevented her from making any
kind of mental contact.

It was with hopeless resignation that she watched the horse and coach
cross the bridge, entering the woods, carrying Aaron away forever.

Now, she had nothing left to live for.

No, not quite nothing.  Something kicked in her stomach.  Something
was growing inside her.  A new life --- growing, forming,
developing...

She continued working, sleeping, singing to herself, flitting to the
limits of the bond.  Finally, she gave birth to a son.  She called him
Strephon, for he was conceived of happiness, born of sorrow, and
carried all her future hopes.

Even though, as a fairy, she never had anything to do with young
babies, she instinctively knew how to deal with and handle a baby.
She could raise no more than her head above the water, but the baby
seemed to have no trouble being under water, when she nursed or slept
him.  Fortunately, fairy milk was very adequate for him.  He was
half-fairy --- a fairy down to the waist, but below the waist, mortal.

Although Strephon easily survived for endless times underwater, the
skin of his mortal half got all wrinkly and peely after many hours
underwater.  So Iolanthe collected water lillies and reeds, and weaved
a basket, padded it with grass, and used her own endlessly generated
fairy garments for blankets.  They were light, very light, but they
would have to do.  It was mid-winter now.  Snow covered the ground.

So Iolanthe fed and nurtured the boy month in and month out.  Her
preoccupation with the boy and her regular work took up all available
time, so she no longer spent time endlessly bored and bemoaning her
life and the life she missed.  She missed Aaron.  She missed sharing
Strephon with him.  She missed the flitting and dancing and singing
with the other fairies.  But only occasionally did she moan and cry in
misery.

Summer went by, then winter again.  A year passed, and young Strephon
began talking.  He learned to talk quite rapidly, once he started.

He also developed fairy instincts, but they generally did not jybe
with his mortal half.  He found that whenever he made himself
invisible, his bottom half remained exposed.  Furthermore, anyone in
the vicinity could see the insides at the top.  Iolanthe found it
quite gross herself, and told Strephon never to do it unless his lower
half was hidden.

When he shrank to a tiny size, his lower half stayed large.  The
stress on the mortal side of the boundary was so intolerably painful,
unless he was very careful to keep the fairy part just at the boundary
his mortal size.  It seldom did him much good to shrink his top half,
so he stopped doing it once it stopped interesting him.

He learned to walk and to fly.  His fairy half had to do all the work,
and hold his mortal half up when he flew.

He discovered pain early on.  While his fairy half never felt pain,
hismortal half did.  He learned to change the appearance of his upper
half at will, and to spontaneously generate clothes which covered his
lower half as well.

Travelers often walked, rode, or drove over the bridge.  Iolanthe
cautioned him to hide whenever anyone came.

So the years passed, and Strephon very slowly got bigger.  Iolanthe
lost track of the years, and Strephon never counted them.  But there
came a time...

 ***********************************************************

   Interlude

Numb and all drained out, Aaron returned to London.  He felt drained,
drugged, powerless, and hopeless.  He was prepared to face his father,
the Lord Chancellor.  He didn't care any more.

His father was a stern man, but fair.  He graciously accepted Aaron
back into the family.  Privately to himself, he even felt a twinge of
sympathy for Aaron.  But he could never let Aaron know.  He had to be
tough now, and make Aaron get back on his feet.

He immediately put Aaron to work as a clerk and a gofer.  He worked
Aaron hard, and Aaron worked hard.  He was a little surprised at that,
and a bit more surprise when told that Aaron had worked as a clerk in
Arcadia.  But he didn't reveal any of this.

Aaron put his mind to his work, and blotted out any thought or memory
of Iolanthe.  Only at night, in his nightmares, did he remember.
Sometimes, he dreamed a happy dream, he was with Iolanthe.  But he
woke up in tears and loneliness.

He reentered Oxford University the following Fall semester, after
about a year of work.  His Father had to make a major sacrifice, but
he never knew.  Nobody ever knew.  Aaron redid his junior year.  He
threw himself into his schoolwork and studies.  No more parties, no
more athletics.  That summer, Aaron worked for his father again.

He graduated suma cum lauda from Oxford and joined a law firm, was
admitted to the bar, and worked his way up.  He learned all the rules,
and abided strictly by them.  In addition, he vowwed he would never
take unfair advantage of anyone, be they clients, dimwitted judges, or
opponents.

He was appointed a judge in the Courts of Chancery.  In his decisions,
he made sure he knew everything about a case there was to know, and
was strictly fair.  He often worked long hours on the most minor
point, to insure a just result.  He rarely drafted a new writ; when he
did, the courts of law almost always accepted it.  He sometimes
drafted legislation for Parliament, in his position as equity judge,
to rectify an existing or prospective injustice.

His Father retired as Lord Chancellor, and a few years later, retired
from the House of Peers and returned to the ancestral lands to live
out his days.  Aaron, now Lord Thatcher in his own right, entered the
House of Peers.  Finally, 35 years after his temporary astrayal as he
thought of it now, he was appointed Lord Chancellor, head of the
Courts of Equity, and the Queen's Conscience.

And always, the trunk with Iolanthe's things at the bottom remained in
the attic of his father's home.  Once every decade or so, after a rare
emotional dream, he went into the attic and looked at the trunk.  He
never opened it.  It was all in the past; it never happened.  It was
just a fling, a folly, a hallucination.

His father eventually died, after being bedridden many months.  His
mother begged him to come home and occasionally visit, but Aaron never
did.  Too busy, he told himself.  He attended the funeral, but only
briefly stayed to talk with his mother.  His mother obviously wanted
him to stay home longer, and just talk, or for simple companionship,
but he just couldn't.  He had his work to do.

 ***********************************************************

   Part III

Iolanthe and Strephon had long ago lost track of the years, but in
fact about ten years had gone by since Strephon was born.  Strephon
was now a rambunctious little kid, taken to running and flying
everywhere.  It was only a matter of time before someone from the
village saw him.

Actually, he had been spotted numerous times before, the past five
years or so.  His spottings only added a notch to the rumors of
fairies or cherubs around the area.

Iolanthe tried to keep him under wraps during the day, letting him go
out only at night so he wouldn't be spotted.  But the past two years,
she couldn't keep him down.  He visited all the farms.  He visited the
village.  He visited the various estates about Arcadia.  He saw many
people from the distance, and was exceedingly curious about them.
They came in all sizes and shapes, although most were far bigger than
him.

Often, he'd find some crevice or bush to stand in, hiding his bottom
half.  He'd then make his top half invisible and watch everyone.  It
seemed like nobody else could fly or make himself invisible.

One summer afternoon, a family came out into the meadow for a picnic.
Two big tall persons, and three smaller persons, the smallest about
Strephon's own size.  Strephon found some tall grass to hide in, and
watched the group.  After they ate, the big persons lay down to rest,
and the smaller ones ran about and threw a ball.  They looked like
they were having so much fun, that Strephon appeared and joined them.
They welcomed him, although the oldest expressed doubt about a strange
boy in the meadow.

The big persons woke up and called them over.  Strephon's new friends
called them Mom and Dad.  Perhaps they were their Mothers the way
Iolanthe was his Mother, Strephon thought.

Strephon followed them over.  One of the bigger ones asked, "Who's
this?"

The oldest kid answered, "We found him out here, Mom.  He just joined
us."

"Is that so?"  The Mom turned to Strephon and asked, "What is your
name?"  Strephon froze up and couldn't say anything.  The Mom
continued, "Do you have any parents?  A Mother?  A Father?"  Iolanthe
was his Mother, but he didn't know what a Father was.  Perhaps that
unknown Aaron person his Mother sometimes spoke about and often cried
about?  He still didn't say anything.  "Poor thing," said the Mom.
"He's lost his parents.  I think we should take him with us, until his
parents come looking for him, make sure he's safe."

Take him with them?  He felt very unsure.  The Father took hold of his
hand, the Mother his other hand.  He resisted being pulled, until the
youngest kid, the one his own size, smiled winningly at him and said,
"Come along!  It's okay!"  Strephon smiled back and let himself go.

They went into the village, and into a house.  They played outside
some more, then as it was getting dark they had to go inside.  Things
were very new and different to Strephon.  They ate in a strange way,
using things called knife and fork.  Strephon followed the best he
could, silently.  The food was very different and strange.
Afterwords, they did chores.  Finally they had to take baths and go to
bed.

The older kid complained about no longer being able to bathe by
himself.  Before, the middle kid bathed with the younger, but now he
would have to bathe with the middle kid and the younger bathe with the
new kid.  "But," explained the mother, "Since we have a new child now,
everyone has to double up.  We don't have enough water."

So Strephon and the youngest kid went first.  Father took water from a
barrol and poured part of it into a tub in the bathroom, then left
Strephon and the youngest kid by themselves.  The youngest kid
immediately undressed, and so Strephon followed suit.  As they got
into the tub, Strephon noticed something different about the other
kid.

He asked, "Why do you got no there?"  He pointed between the other
kid's legs.

"Because I'm a girl.  You're a boy, so you got that," answered the
girl, as she took soap and lathered herself all over.  "Oh, you can
talk?  I'm Wendy, what's your name?"

"Name?"  Strephon was momentarily confused.  He took the soap from
Wendy, and lathered himself the way she'd lathered herself.

"Yeh, you know.  What do people call you?"

Strephon was still confused, then he realized shortly what she meant.
His mother always called him Strephon, so he answered, "Strephon."

"Strephon.  That's a strange name.  I'm Wendy.  My sisters are Tia and
Carol.  Tia, she's the oldest one."

"Oldest?"

"Yes.  She has more years than Carol and I."

"Years?"

Wendy herself looked confused, but answered, "I'm five years old.
Carol is seven years old, and Tia is eight years old."  Wendy threw
water on herself, and got rid of the lather.  So did Strephon.  They
climbed out of the tub, and Strephon was about to put on his clothes,
when Wendy said, "No, silly.  Wear a nightgown."  Wendy pulled one
over her head, and threw another one to Strephon.

Wendy led Strephon into another room, containing what Wendy called a
bed.  Wendy slid into bed, and told Strephon to join her under the
covers.  Strephon wondered what would happen now.

"We sleep, silly!" answered Wendy.  Strephon puzzled over it.
Sleeping inside a building was strange for him, but it wasn't too
different from the bedding Iolanthe made for him next to the creek.
But sleeping with another person?  That was strange.

About half an hour later, the other two girls joined them in bed.  Tia
expressed initial annoyance at having a fourth person in bed, but
settled in.  They whispered awhile, and asked Strephon about him.
Strephon didn't say anything.  He was sure he didn't want to tell
about Iolanthe, his mother.  Shortly Tia said that they had to sleep.
They had to get up early tomorrow to work.  Strephon lay in bed a
while, then finally fell asleep.

They worked all day next day, making brooms.  Mom and Dad went out
from door to door trying to sell them, and the kids stayed at home
making more.  Strephon joined them and, after some initial
instruction, found that he was pretty good at it.  He kept it secret
that he never hurt his fairy top half, the way the other girls
scratched themselves often.

The life continued on that summer, with six days of work and one day
of rest.  A couple weeks after Strephon joined them, he thought he
should return to his mother by the creek.  So that night, after the
other three appeared asleep, he snuck to the window and flew out.

He landed next to the creek and called out, "Mother!"

Iolanthe's head emerged from the water, and she scolded him, "Where
have you been?!?  Gone for two weeks now!"  Humbled, Strephon couldn't
answer for a moment.  Iolanthe continued, "Well, what have you to say
for yourself?"

Unable to say anything, he kept thinking of the family: the nice Mom
and Dad, the two bigger girls and the one his size.  Iolanthe picked
up the pictures, and responded worried, "So you've met some people.  I
hope there won't be trouble."

"No, no, no!  They're all very nice!" protested Strephon, and talked
about them.

They talked more, and Iolanthe resignedly said, "I can't keep you any
longer.  I guess since you are half mortal, you will have to learn to
live in the world of mortals."

So, after a tearful parting and a promise to visit, Strephon returned
to the family.  He flew into the window, and as silently as possible,
slipped back into the bed with the three girls.

The next day, Tia pulled Strephon aside and asked him, "Nice night out
for flying, wasn't it?"

Strephon froze, embarrassed.  After a moment, "What do you mean?"

"You flew out the window last night.  Where did you go?  What did you
do?  And what are you, a witch or something?"

"No, a fairy!" he exclaimed without thinking, then corrected himself.
"Half a fairy, actually."

"Oh!  Wait until I tell Mom and Dad!"

"No-no!  You mustn't!  Nobody must know!"

"So what did you do last night?"

"Uh,..."

"Should I tell Mom and Dad?  I'm sure they would love to know," warned
Tia with a mischievous smile.

"No!"

"What do I get for keeping your secret?  Come on, tell me."

"Okay, okay.  I went to see my mother."

"Your mother?  Who is she?  Where does she live?  And why are you
staying with us, then?"

 ***********************************************************

"Okay, I'll tell you.  But please, don't tell anyone.  My mother lives
in the creek."

"In the creek?!?  Why would anyone live in a creek?"

Strephon didn't know; he'd never thought about it before.  All he
remembered was that, while he could leave whenever he wanted, Iolanthe
never left the creek.  "I uh, I don't know."

They quickly got back to work.  Carol and Wendy might tell on them if
they stayed away too long.  Perhaps Mom or Dad might come home and
find them not working.  They would really be in for it then.

The summer continued, and Strephon visited his mother about once every
week.  One day, Tia said that she wanted to visit his mother.
Strephon initially refused, but Tia was adamant.  "You wouldn't want
Mom and Dad to find out about you, would you?"  Frightened, he agreed.

They went that very night.  They pretended to sleep, and waited until
Carol and Wendy were sound asleep.  Strephon slipped out of bed,
hoping that perhaps Tia was really asleep, but she slipped out and
followed him.  Resigned, Strephon put his hands tightly around her
chest.  His fairy hands automatically adjusted to fit all the way
around her.  Then up and out the window they flew.

Strephon flew rather low; it was less likely they would be seen.  It
was a bit awkward carrying the girl, who let her legs dangle down and
swung them back and forth.  But he managed it.  They flew to the
bridge over the creek, and landed next to it.  Tia breathed in deeply
when his arms let her go.

"Mother!" he called out.  Iolanthe raised her head above the water in
delight, but a look of surprise appeared on her face when she saw Tia.

"Strephon!  But who might this be?"

"Tia's with the family I live with.  She wanted to meet you."

Tia had her eyes fixed on Iolanthe, enraptured, but remembering her
manners, she curtseyed and said, "Pleased to meet you, Ma'am."  Was
this a real, true, live fairy?

Iolanthe suppressed a giggle of delight.  This was the first person
beside Strephon she had ever talked to since the time she was bound to
the creek.  Of course, she was a young one.  Probably younger than
Strephon, although she was much bigger.  She wasn't at all certain,
but it seemed like Strephon aged alot slower than mortal children did.
"All mine, I'm sure."

"Tia found out about me, the first time I came to see you.  Tia is the
oldest of the three sisters."  Strephon said.  "She wanted to meet you
herself.  She was curious."

"Curiosity's a dangerous thing," said Iolanthe.  Tia looked
momentarily worried, so Iolanthe reasured her.  "No, I won't harm you.
You are perfectly safe here with me."  Iolanthe thought to herself and
wondered how safe she was with Strephon.  She wondered if she should
have a little talk with Strephon.  He seemed too young for that kind
of stuff, but one never knew.

"Mrs., uh," Tia hesitated.

"Iolanthe," Iolanthe replied.

"Mrs. Iolanthe ---"

Iolanthe giggled, "No, just Iolanthe.  We don't have family names, and
we don't have titles the way mortals do."

"No Mrs. or anything like that?"

"No, although there we do have a Queen."

"Just like Queen Victoria!" exclaimed Tia.  Strephon wondered who
Queen Victoria was.

"Well, I don't know.  Similar, but not really the same, I don't
think."

"Are you really a fairy?"

"Yes, dear.  I am a fairy.  But you should not tell anyone."

"Okay.  This is our secret."  Tia tried to suppress a yawn, but
failed.

"Strephon," Iolanthe said.  "I think you should take your little
girlfriend back home now; she seems rather sleepy."

Tia asked quickly, "But Io--- I-o-lan-the, why do you live in a creek?
It seems like it would be so cold and wet."

"Well, yes, it is rather cold and wet.  But I'm stuck here.  I can't
leave," sighed Iolanthe.

Strephon and Tia said goodbye, and Strephon lifted Tia up and flew
back home.

"`Your little girlfriend,' really!" exclaimed Tia in midair.  Strephon
flushed, but said nothing.  "I will never be any boy's girlfriend!"

Strephon couldn't fly through the window carrying Tia.  Tia had to
pull herself in the window, while Strephon held her up.  Then he flew
in, and they both slipped back in the bed.  Wendy groaned and turned
briefly, then went back to sleep.

A few days later, as the kids lay in bed for the evening, Dad
mentioned something called "Education."  Carol groaned, and Strephon
asked, "What is Education?"  They tried to explain, but he didn't
understand.  What was this reading and writing and 'rithmetic all
about?  Instead of working six days a week making brooms, they spent
several hours three days a week learning those things.  Carol and Tia
had already started learning; Wendy was going to start this year, and
since Strephon was a part of the family now, he would start as well.
"This is costing us good money," Dad said.  "You'd better do well, or
else."  Strephon didn't like that tone.

School started a few days later, on Monday.  There was a schoolhouse
down the street.  Some kids were playing on the street in front of the
schoolhouse.  As Strephon and the three girls approached them,
Strephon thought he might join the other kids.  Wendy started to
follow him, but Tia and Carol stopped her.  "Girls don't run around
and play balls with boys."

"Why?" she asked.

"It's just not done.  It's not nice."

There was a Teacher, a big girl who reminded Strephon of his mother,
although she didn't look too much like her.  Strephon thought she
would be as nice as his mother, but she turned out to be rather mean.
She demanded instant obediance and instant correct responses to
questions.  If a student failed to answer, or answered wrongly, she
struck his palm with a ruler.  Other times, she took a kid into the
closet and cane him good.

Strephon almost never had his palm swatted.  He remembered everything
he was taught, very quickly.  He quickly came to understand what
reading and writing really meant.  The first time he was swatted, it
was not because he got an answer wrong.  Instead, he got his answer
correct, but the teacher kept insisting it was wrong.  He argued with
the teacher.

The teacher ordered him to hold out his hand, and he did.  It tickled
just a little bit, when she slammed the ruler on his hand.  He would
have wondered what the fuss was when the other kids screamed, except
for his experiences with pain in his lower, mortal half.  The teacher
kept slamming it ever harder and harder, getting more and more
frustrated.  It only tickled more.  Finally, he could not keep his
amusement in, and broke out laughing, pulling his hand away.

The other kids at their tables laughed, but immediately quieted again
when the Teacher shouted, "Quiet!  All of you!" at them.  She ordered
Strephon to return to his desk, then herself turned away.

After school, all the kids ran up to him, asking how he managed to
stand up to the teacher like that.  Strephon didn't explain.

Another time, he found a bunch of girls behind a building.  He thought
he saw Carol among them, but he wasn't sure.  The girls all shouted at
him, to get out of there and back where the boys belong.  Knowing by
now how girls jumped and shrieked at frogs and snakes, he felt the
irresistible urge to shock them.  He made his upper half invisible,
exposing his innards at the top of his waist.  All the girls screamed,
some fainted, some ran away.  Strephon turned away, satisfied.

The teacher didn't try to discipline him for a long time after that
initial experience.  But finally, she did.  This time, she led him
into the close, where she disciplined her most severe cases.  Strephon
remembered hearing the screams of boys dragged into the closet.  She
tried to switch him on the legs and rearend.  Strephon realized that
would be painful.  Remembering the effect it had on the girls, he
vanished his top self again.

As fully expected, she shrieked out.  Not so expectedly, she grabbed
him and threw him against the wall of the closet, before exiting as
fast as she could.  When he got up and left the closet, she was gone
and nowhere to be seen.  The children were all excited and running
out, by themselves.  He went home.

Dad was home, awaiting him, leather strap in hand.  He grabbed
Strephon by the shoulder.  Strephon, with his fairy upper half slid
effortlessly from Dad's grasp, but Dad promptly grabbed his legs.
Being mortal, Strephon's legs were helpless in Dad's strong grasp.
Strephon made his top half vanish again, but Dad held him firm.

"Strephon," Dad told his apparently independent bottom half.  "I don't
know who or what you really are, but as long as you are part of this
family, you will be a good, obediant, little boy."  With that, he held
Strephon's legs firmly still with one hand, and strapped Strephon's
bare legs with the other.  Strephon screamed in pain, and his top half
promptly reappeared.

Strephon generated his wings, and pulled away the best he could.  But
Dad held on firmly.  Strephon turned to Dad and hit him has hard as he
could.  His fairy arms, as strong and powerful as they were when
lifting himself or someone else, were as a feather on iron.  They
bounced off Dad harmlessly.  He turned away again and tried flying
upward.  He was barely able to pull up slowly.  Beating his wings with
more and more desparation, he lifted himself up and dragged Dad with
him, holding his legs tight.

Dad suddenly let go, and Strephon shot up and slammed the ceiling.
His fairy upper half flattened out like a blob, somewhat cushening the
impact of his lower mortal half.  Nevertheless, his lower half
remained bruised and sore for weeks.

He fell to the floor, promptly reconstructed his fairy top half, and
flew out the door, his bruised lower half swinging below freely.
Although he was mentally and emotionally bruised as well, his fairy
upper half was physically intact.  He cried as he flew back to the
creek, returning to his mother.

He flopped down onto the grass next to the creek, and lay there
crying.  Iolanthe raised her head out of the pond.  "Strephon!"
Strephon flew into his mother's arms and balled out crying.

He slowly got his story out.  To his dismay, Iolanthe took the Dad's
side, and told him that in the mortal world, he must obey the rules.
Also, it may be dangerous for him to reveal his fairy side.  Strephon
couldn't understand, and could say anything in reply.  Why would his
mother betray him like this!?!

He flew away, blindly, eventually landing somewhere unknown in the
forest.

 ***********************************************************

Iolanthe watched as Strephon flew off in tears, and she cried a little
herself.  It was rather like that time when Aaron drove off, even
though the circumstances were completely different.  Should she really
have responded like that?  Would she ever see Strephon again?
Strephon was the only thing that made the past ten or so years of
bondage bearable.  What would life be like, alone for all eternity.
Unlike mortals, she couldn't even kill herself, to relieve herself of
the misery.  Only the Fairy Queen could do that.  But she would never
see any of the other fairies again; they never came to visit her, and
most likely never would.

With those thoughts, she dove back down and nestled in a willow and
tried to will her self to sleep.  But no sooner had she managed to
doze off when came the stomp-stomp of heavy footsteps.  Someone,
definitely an adult male mortal, was approaching.  The flowers, the
plants, the trees, the grass, the insects, the frogs, were all alert
and attentive.  Iolanthe had the strong fairy hunch that this might
concern her, so she floated up to just under the surface and listened
and watched.

He looked rather angry, and was calling out a mangled version of her
name, and was saying, "If you are really there, come out and show
yourself!"  She wondered, should she just ignore him, and wait for him
to leave?  Or should she reveal herself?  Wondering if she was doing
the right thing, she grew to her full size and lifted her head above
the water.  She didn't wish to appear seductive, so she generated an
opaque waterproof long-sleaved gown to cover herself.  "Good Evening,
Sir," she said to the man.  He was definitely good-looking, but she
wasn't going to have any more of that stuff.  Not now, not never.

The man jumped back, and his angry expression changed to surprise and
a little fear.  "You exist!  I mean, uh, ma'am, uh hello."  He blushed
a little, too.

Iolanthe suppressed a giggle -- funny, she thought to herself.  She
could still giggle, even after all this time, at something
sufficiently new.  She knew he was the Father of Strephon's surrogate
family.  "Sir, I sincerely thank you for taking in and caring for my
son, Strephon."

"Well, Ma'am."

"Iolanthe, please, Sir."

"Okay, Miss Iolanthe.  I see Tia spoke truely.  You really are
Strephon's Mother then?"

"Yes, Strephon is my son.  A wonderful boy, I think."

"Oh, yes.  He's been very good for the most part.  Polite and
hard-working.  We were quite happy to have him in our family.  He
never needed disciplining, not for a long while at least.  In fact, my
wife and I were wondering about him.  He was too good, too
intelligent, too hard-working.  We were wondering what was he really,
was he dangerous or something?"

"No, we're not dangerous.  I assure you, Sir, we are not by any means
evil beings."

"I believe you."

[More conversation, perhaps.  I'm thinking of cutting this part out.
In any case, I can't think of anything to say here.]

 ***********************************************************

Strephon landed somewhere in the forest, sat himself down, and cried.
Eventually, he drifted off to sleep.  He woke up later, his legs
chilled to the bone.  He was more alone now, than he had ever been in
his life.  Hungry, too.  He wondered if he should find something to
eat.  He found a few buries, and ate them.  They tasted sweet and just
a little tangy.

He spent the next few days walking around and flying around, eating
various items.  He watched squirrels chase each other around about,
birds twittering and gathering twigs and items for nests, an
occasional rabbit hopping about.  Every day, he discovered something
new about nature.  Whereas before, he only saw moss, grass, and twigs
surrounding roots, now he noticed animal tracks, animal holes, and
sometimes the animals themselves.

He learned to sit or stand perfectly still, almost invisible even
without turning his top half invisible.  After some weeks, he could
stand still for hours, and watch the animals as they went about their
merry business.  He never harmed an animal, except to stop the
occasional wolf from catching a smaller animal.  He knew they had to
eat, and catch live meat to eat, but not around him, thank-you, he
thought to himself.

He still fumed at the events of that day, more at Iolanthe's response
than at Dad's discipline.  Sometimes, he wondered to himself, was he
wrong?  He sometimes thought of returning to Iolanthe, admitting his
error, begging forgiveness.  His mind changed, and he fumed again at
the unfairness of it all.  So he stayed in the forest, studying the
wildlife, and living off the land.

Unfortunately, it was getting cold now.  He woke up one morning to the
first snow.  His top half had no trouble whatsoever, but his bottom
half felt very numb.  He generated himself some thick clothes, and
that helped.  He spent the winter in the forest.  Then the spring and
the summer, the fall and the winter again.

A couple times, while standing perfectly still in a clearing, he saw
or thought he saw, female forms flitting about, dancing, springing in
and out of view, flying all over the place.  He stood perfectly still,
and they never appeared to notice him.  If he listened carefully, he
could almost hear music and singing in his mind.

He got bored after two years.  He stayed in the woods for another
year.  He often flew around, and sometimes at night flew out of the
woods, into the meadows, and sometimes toward the village.  But he
always avoided the creek where his mother, Iolanthe lived all alone
now.  He just couldn't go back...

In near the woods, a ways away from Arcadia, a shepherd stood guard at
night, watching his flock of sheep.  He stood as still and quiet as
Strephon at his best.  Curious, Strephon silently approached, stood
there, and watched the sheep and the shepherd.

He came again the next night.  And the following night.

The fourth night, the shepherd spoke.  "Come over here young, and
watch with me."  Strephon did, and they stood still and watched the
rest of the night.  Nothing eventful happened; the sheep just grazed.

Strephon joined the shepherd and became a shepherd himself.  It was
better to stand around and have company than to stand around solitary.
Even though he looked like an eight-year-old child, the shepherd
treated him like an adult.  He spent most of his time shepherding,
during the season, but he also had some free time.  He occasionally
flew around, and visited the villages.

A couple times, he spied on Tia, Carol, and Wendy.  They were all
noticeably bigger than before.  Wendy now looked older than Tia had
looked before.  And Tia now looked almost grown.  Strephon realized
that he was growing alot slower than mortals did.  He looked like a
mortal half his age.  He estimated that he must be about sixteen now,
even though he only looked eight.

He was flying through the woods one night.  He had the feeling of
danger, or something terribly wrong.  Puzzled, he followed the
feeling, and shortly he saw a carriage driving on the road through the
woods.  The sense of wrongness came not from the carriage, but from
the trees just up ahead.

Men dressed in black suddenly jumped out of the trees and pounced on
the carriage.  They dragged the driver out.  Some began beating him,
others ransacked the wagon and tossed a couple cases out.

Strephon dove down and slammed into one of the men.  That man fell
over with a grunt and lay motionless.  The others jumped and turned
toward them.  Strephon, well aware of the powerlessness of his arms in
a fight, flew up and prepared for another dive.  As he dove, the
others turned and ran back into the woods.

Strephon turned to the victim, the driver of the wagon.  To his
surprise, it was the Father of his family in the town!  The Father
seemed just as surprised to see him.  "Strephon?"

 ***********************************************************

The bandits having all vanished into the woods, Strephon looked at the
driver of the buggy.  Strephon saw with surprise that it was the
Father of the family.

The Father also appeared surprised to see him.  "Strephon?  Is that
really you?  It is you!  It is you!"

Strephon suppressed his instinct to run away, as Dad took him by the
shoulders and lifted him up.  "You look as young as before!"  Strephon
said nothing.  Dad set him down and continued, "How have you been?"
Strephon still said nothing, and Dad said, "Strephon, are you still
upset about that night?"  Strephon looked down at the ground
sheepishly, but said nothing.  "Really, parents beat their children
all the time; that don't mean anything.  You must take it in stride."

Strephon flamed in fury, and lightning bolts jumped from his fingers,
steaming the ground.  [I'm going to change the fight in the previous
episode to use the lightning bolts.  Also, I will have a scene earlier
on where he learns about the lightning bolts.  They tend to be more
effective than his punches.  He has to learn to keep his hands pointed
down and back...  They aren't fatal; just stunning.]  Dad winced
momentarily, but recovered his composure.  "Okay, okay, don't be
upset.  I don't mean to hurt you.  If you wan't, I'll be on my way.
Thank-you very much for saving me from the bandits."  Dad stepped into
the wagon.  He began closing the door, but stopped and turned to him.
"Oh, one more thing.  You must return to Iolanthe, your mother.  She
misses you something fierce."  He slammed the door.

Strephon stood in shock momentarily.  How was his mother doing?  He
hadn't thought of her for ages, except in momentarily resentment.
Guilt washed over him.  Why did he ever run away?  Suppose something's
happened to her?

Strephon flew over the woods and back to the bridge over the creek.
He called out, "Mother!" as he landed.

Iolanthe's weed-covered face emerged from the water.  Her face lit up
as she exclaimed, "Strephon!"

"Mother!"  Strephon flew into Iolanthe's arms.  They hugged crying for
a whole minute, then broke apart.

"I missed you so!  I was afraid I'd never see you again.  I was so
alone, thinking that you hated me.  How long has it been?  Five
years?"

Strephon burst into tears again.  "I'm so very very sorry.  I'll never
ever leave you again, ever!"

Iolanthe said, "Oh, please don't promise that, Strephon.  You are
growing up now.  I knew you would have to leave me sometime, and your
stay with that family was a good way.  I just didn't expect you to
leave so soon, and so angry at me.  What have you been up to these
past years anyway?"

Strephon told his mother about his life as a Shepherd.  They talked
about random stuff for the next few hours, then Strephon said he
should go back.  "I promise, I'll visit you often."  Just as he was
about to leave, he turned and asked, "By the way, how did (Dad) know
about you?  He sent me to you."

Iolanthe answered, "He came up right after you left those years ago.
The family came several times since to visit.  They were very nice,
and made things a lot less lonely for me.  It helped relieve the
boredom and loneliness over the years."  Strephon started to apologize
again, but Iolanthe continued quickly, "Well, that's over and done
now.  Water under the bridge.

"Please enjoy life.  You have a life of your own, and are free to come
and go.  Unlike me.  I can't tie you down and keep you with me.  Enjoy
your life as a shepherd, okay?"

"Okay.  But I do promise you, I won't abandon you like I did before.
I'll come often."

Iolanthe then said, "Strephon, there is one other thing I must talk to
you about."  She was surprised at how nervous and hesitant she felt at
the very idea of what she had to say.  It wasn't as if she were a
mortal.  She was a fairy, for crying out loud, she thought to herself.

Strephon's stomach dropped at her tone.  "Yes?"  He had an idea what
she was going to talk about, and he froze in embarrassment, thinking
about all the clandestine encounters he'd had at night with young
girls his size (half his age).  [Sorry Celeste.  I didn't include them
in this first draft.  I'll include them in my second draft, later...]

Iolanthe stammered and stuttered as she tried to find the right words.
"Well, you know about girls, don't you?"  Strephon flushed.  Yep, he
was right.  It was going to be about that.  "You know how they are
different from boys."  Strephon nodded noncommittally.  "Well," she
hesitated.  "Please be careful with them.  You may very well be
tempted to play with them, and have fun with them."  Iolanthe recalled
her earlier life, how she playfully teased boys and men over the past
two or three centuries.  And then there was Aaron...

"But respect them; they are people, not playthings.  And they can get
hurt.  Ordinary people, mortals, are known to punish girls severely if
they lose respect.  This can happen when girls can get pregnant, if
they are not married."

[Okay, Celeste.  I have to rewrite this completely.]

Strephon hugged his mother, said goodbye, and flew back home.  He
thought about what she'd told him, with some relief that it was over
and done with.

He continued living as a shepherd, but stopped his adventures with the
girls in town.  He noticed, when watching some of them
surreptitiously, they seemed disappointed at not seeing him, though.
He visited his mother at least every week, sometimes more often, on
his time off.

He continued living as a shepherd for another fifteen years.  The old
shepherd died, and now he took on the complete job himself for the
farm family.  He now looked like a strapping young lad of 15, even
though he was really 30 years old.

 ***********************************************************

It was now fifteen years since the tearful reunion, and thirty years
since Iolanthe's confinement and Strephon's birth.  Strephon was now a
tall, slender young man, in top shape and appreciated by all.

A little girl, perhaps ten years old, showed up one summer day as he
worked.  She appeared the next day, and again the next day.  She came
every day and watched him work and talk with him.  She told him that,
she was living on a nearby farm, a mile or so away.  Her name was
Phyllis, and the family she lived with was really a foster family.
Both her parents had died many years ago, and there were no aunts or
uncles or grandparents to take her in.  She became a ward of Chancery.

Strephon felt the familiar desire arise in his stomach, and thought of
those times those many years ago, with the other girls.  The desire
was as fresh as it had ever been the first time, but with difficulty,
he resisted it.  It would not be fair to exploit her, he thought to
himself.  He remembered what Iolanthe had said oh those many years
ago.

But he always looked forward to her appearance, and any day that she
did not show up was empty.  She wasn't exactly the most beautiful girl
in the world, but there was very definitely something about her looks,
her manners --- something he just could not put his hands on.

Things progressed very slowly.  During free time he visited her and
her foster family.  He got in their good graces, especially after he
managed to revive a dying heifer calf of theirs.

Every year, a representative of the Lord Chancellor travelled from
London around Great Britain to inspect the local foster families and
orphanages.  Strephon was dining with Phyllis and the family at one
time, when the representative showed up at the farmhouse.  Phyllis was
about fourteen at the time.

During the next year, people began showing up.  Noblemen, even members
of Parliament's House of Peers, came to hunt grouse, fish in the
creak, fox-hunt, bird-hunt, and various other activities throughout
the year.  And at the following year, the Lord Chancellor himself
appeared for the annual inspection.

At sixteen, Phyllis brought up the subject of marriage.  Strephon was
a little caught by surprise.  He agreed, and the foster family gave
their approval.  But since Phyllis was a Ward of Chancery and under 21
years of age, she needed the approval to marry.  The foster family
thought it would only be a formality.

Strephon never mentioned his mother or his half-fairyhood to Phyllis.
He was concerned that it would frighten her.  But he wondered off and
on if Phyllis would notice that she was aging much faster than he.
But, after several years of nervousness, he mentioned her to Iolanthe.
He was still visiting her every week.  Iolanthe was disturbed and
perturbed at the presence of the peers, Strephon knew.  When they
visited the creak, the peers were all over the place, trampling the
ground, digging things up, leaving litter behind, and so forth.

After considerable discussion, the wedding was planned and Strephon
went to town to petition the Chancellor's representative.  To his
surprise, three peers were there.  The eldest and obviously superiour
one introduced himself as the Lord Chancellor, and the other two were
high-ranking members of the House of Peers.  Strephon shuddered to be
in their presence, and thanked himself for having the presence of mind
to generate himself a real suit with waistcoat.

Strephon presented his petition, and the Lord Chancellor and the other
peers seemed amused, especially when Strephon got out his recorder and
played a melodious tune.  But finally, the Lord Chancellor interrupted
him and curtly denied his petition.  "A common shepherd is not a
suitable mate for a Ward of Chancery."

In shock, embarrassment, and depression, Strephon kneeled to the
Chancellor, said goodday, and departed from the place.

 ***********************************************************

Over the same fifteen years, Iolanthe spent a very soggy life in the
creak.  The return of Strephon greatly augmented her spirits for
awhile, and she was always happy when Strephon visited her to chat.
But the same intense boredom and frustration gradually returned during
Strephon's absence.

Ideas of revenge, which had always suggested themselves to her off and
on, came to her more insistantly.  A plan suggested itself to her
mind.  First escape the binding that held her to the creak.  Then
overthrow and destroy the Fairy Queen.  Finally, rejoin Aaron,
whereever he was.  She wondered how he would react at seeing her
again, and finding out that he had a son.

But, of course, those were all easier thought than done.  She'd tried
to escape her bonds many times over the past decades.  The bonds were
as tight as ever.

One day, though, she lay down at the bottom of the creak motionless
for a whole twenty-four hours.  She stayed awake, but lay motionless,
thoughtless beyond a vague sensation of feeling, let herself fill with
the essence of nature about her.  Finally, she sat up, held herself,
and zapped out the biggest zap of power she had ever zapped.  She
collapsed unconscious for about five minutes.  Upon awaking, she
noticed that the bond was just a little bit weaker --- about three
percent weaker.

This was the best news she'd had yet!  The Fairy Queen was NOT all
powerful!  It gave her new hope and new life, and she began to think
and plot.  The next time she woke up, the bond had renewed itself, but
that only put a slight damper in her spirits.  It would be possible to
free herself.  She wondered, though, if the Fairy Queen could miss
such an outburst of power.  That dampened her spirits a little.  But
the Fairy Queen never showed up, and nothing happened.

She developed her plans very slowly.  The first step was to test the
regenerative capabilities of the bond that held her to the creak.
That would take a very long time, because she did not wish to attract
too much attention.  Also, in parallel, she would attempt to
strengthen her own powers.  She was greatly weakened from the initial
binding, and weakened further over the decades of boredom and
idleness.

It would take her a very very long time, but that did not concern her
too much, as she had all the time in the world.  She kept all
indications of her plots and activities from Strephon when he visited;
she didn't want anyone to know.  Even though Strephon was fully
trustworthy, it was possible no matter how unlikely that something
could get back to the Fairy Queen.  Of course, it was far more likely
that the Fairy Queen would detect her own experimentation, but that
couldn't be helped.  No need to increase the risk further than
absolutely necessary.

Of course, her elation at actually thinking up the plan dissipated as
she began implementing it.  She got discouraged at how slow it
progressed, and often temporarily gave up before restarting.

After many years, she woke up disturbed when people tramped over the
meadow nearby.  She turned herself invisible and tiny, and peaked up
out of the water.  Old, well-dressed men were all over the place.
Most of them were elderly, elitist men.  Echoes of their minds hit
her, and she determined that they were all Peers.  Many of them were
members of the House of Lords.  What were they all doing here?
wondered Iolanthe.  They'll ruin the place!

One was waiting in a carriage near the bridge.  She stretched out her
mind, and jumped in surprise.  He now an old man, one of the oldest
here.  She felt him very stern and grim, very different from the
pompous, stilted, yet playful young Aaron he once was.  She was
shocked at the physical change in him, but upon reflection she
realized it was bound to be, after all these years.  She felt a
mixture of joy and fear.  At least, he was still alive, against all
odds.  Not only that, he was now the Lord Chancellor, second only to
the Queen in all England.

 ***********************************************************

Early one morning, Iolanthe, having decided for the 57th time that
year to abandon her plot to escape, lay down to sleep.  Just as she
dozed off, a faint high-pitched voice calling "Iolanthe" went through
her mind.  She turned over and tried to sleep some more.

It came again, "I-o-lan-the!"  And again louder and more persistant.
"I-o-lan-the!"  That last call, almost sung, sounded like many voices,
and there was a certain familiarity to the mental touch.  What was
going on?  She tiredly pulled herself out of her slumber to
investigate.

She lifted her head out of the water and lo, she saw before her the
Fairy Queen, with all the fairies in the world gathered behind her.
She arose out of the water --- only barely noticing that she was no
longer bound to the creek --- and knelt in front of the Fairy Queen.

The Fairy Queen spoke, "You committed a dark sin against the Fairy
Law, and thus we sentenced you to banishment forever.  But mercy took
hold of us.  Rise, Iolanthe.  You are pardoned."

Iolanthe rose, but could only echo, "Pardoned?"

"Yes, pardoned!" everyone sang out, sounding like a whole symphony of
fairies.

Iolanthe stood speechless, about to collapse.  The Fairy Queen came
forward and embrassed her.  She hugged the fairy queen back, and all
the other fairies came down to hug her all en masse.  She giggled,
cried, and laughed all at once; she couldn't help it.  Could this be a
dream?  No, it was real.  She was free!

Everything shortly quieted down, and the Fairy Queen then asked
Iolanthe curiously, "Now tell me truly, please.  I'm dying to know,
why you elected to serve your sentence here, among the _frogs_, of all
places?"

Iolanthe answered, slowly, "Well, this place is a wonderful, clean,
fresh area.  I thought it would be the right place for my son to grow
up."

"Oh?  You have a son?"

"Yes, his name is Strephon.  He was born after only half a year here."

"Why, he must be almost forty years old then!" exclaimed Fleta, one of
the fairies.  "To look at you, one would never think that you had a
40-year-old son."

Everyone giggled, and another fairy added, "But that's the nice thing
about being a fairy.  We never grow old."  Everyone giggled more.

"Tell me about your son," commanded the Fairy Queen.  "Tell me all
about him.  What's he like?  What does he do?  Where does he live?
Tell us _everything_!"

Iolanthe wondered where to start.  "Well, he's half a fairy --- he's a
fairy down to the waist, but his legs are mortal.  He lives a few
miles away, he's a shepherd.  He loves Phyllis, a Ward of Chancery,
and hopes to marry her."

Iolanthe described Strephon more the next few hours, as the fairies
sat in wide-eyed attention, giggling or laughing at appropriate (or
inappropriate) times.

"I am curious to meet someone who is a fairy down to the waist, but
whose legs are mortal," proclaimed the Fairy Queen.

"I'm sure he'll come visit today.  Actually, I think he's coming even
now.  Shh, let's hide.  I want to surprise him."  Iolanthe giggled in
anticipation.

All of them made themselves invisible and incorporeal, in preparation.
Within 15 minutes, Strephon approached, walking along the road toward
the bridge.  He left the road to come down to the creek, and called
out, "Mother, good news!  We've made up our minds, we're going to get
married next week! --- Mother?  Mother?"

Iolanthe materialized behind him and called out, "Strephon!"  Strephon
yelped and jumped in fright, releasing a couple lightning bolts into
the ground.  "Really, Strephon, you must control that lightning!"
Iolanthe giggled.

"Mother?  Mother?  Is that really you?"  He was confronted with a
highly attractive sixteen-year-old girl, at least one and a half feet
shorter than him, in a slightly translucient flowing dress, bare arms,
and bare feet, and transparent wings.  But yes, it was definitely his
mother's face, his mother's head.  The head of a sixteen-year-old
girl?  He'd seen her head so often; how come he had never noticed that
before!  He flushed in embarrassment and thrust aside the ideas which
intruded.  That was his *Mother* for crying out loud!  Anyway, he
didn't want to be disloyal to Phyllis.  "But---But---But you're out of
the creek!"

Iolanthe giggled; her giggle echoed by many unseen voices all around.
Strephon looked around but saw nothing.  "Yes, Strephon.  Isn't it
wonderful?  I'm free!  I've been pardoned!"  She fluttered up several
feet, her black hair flying wildly about, then landed, dancing about,
before jumping into Strephon's arms.

"Mother, that's wonderful!"  he almost dropped her.  "How did it
happen?  This really is such a surprise!"  A chorus of giggles
surrounded him, and around him suddenly appeared a whole crowd of
young girls with wings.  Were they all fairies?  Now he DID drop
Iolanthe, but Iolanthe simply flew a short way and landed.  "Mother,
who ARE all of these?"

"Oh, these are my sisters, my cousins, and my aunts."

Strephon bowed low.  "Then you must all be --- my aunts?"  He blushed
a little, and the fairies all giggled.  Some of them blushed demurely
at him; others fluttered around.

One of the fairies, apparently older and more mature, approached him.
"Iolanthe tells me you're soon to wed.  This must be a pleasant
surprise for your bride, now."  Was this the Fairy Queen?  It must be.

Strephon wondered for a moment if he really saw a look of
disappointment some on the fairies faces, or was it simply his
immagination?  "Oh, Phyllis knows nothing of my fairyhood.  I've never
told her.  It would most surely frighten her.  My physique is awkward
as it is..."

"Oh?"

"Well, you see, I'm only half a fairy."

"Yes, your mother told us."

"In particular, I'm only a fairy above the waist.  Below, I'm mortal.
I can make my top half invisible, but it doesn't do much good if my
legs are still visible.  I can shrink or grow my top half to any size,
but if I'm not careful, it's painful on my bottom half.  My top half
can slither through a keyhole --- leaving my bottom half stuck behind.
Well, at least I can fly.  And my fingers can shoot off lightning,"
Strephon sighed.  "But what scares me the most is what will happen in
the future.  Are my legs going to grow old and eventually die, while
my top half remains young and alive?"

"Yes, I quite see your point," answered the Fairy Queen.  "I am unsure
myself what will happen.  But not to dwell on it excessively; don't
let it spoil your wedding.  We must fly off now.  Farewell, handsome
stranger.  If ever you are in perl, call on us and we shall come to
you."

At that point, the Fairy Queen vanished.  All the other fairys called
out "Farewell!" and vanished as well.  Strephon noticed that they had
become tiny mosquito-like humming things, which flew away.

Only Iolanthe remained with him.  "Well, Strephon," she said
excitedly. "I am going to fly away, explore, see the world, enjoy
myself!  I haven't seen anything in ages!"

They hugged and Strephon said, "Fairwell."  Iolanthe promptly vanished
and flew off.

It still being daytime, Strephon trod back to the village and rested
up in the local snackbar.  He thought things over; the day's events
had been for him among the most astonishing ever.  His mother, no
longer in the creek.  Able to go whereever she wanted, able to fly all
about.  He had always imagine her to be in the creek.  Never even
conceived of her being able to go anywhere else.  And he now had a
whole new herd of relatives.

When it got dark, he walked out of the village, then flew to Phyllis's
house and knocked.  The Foster Father answered the door, and invited
him in.  In the reception-room, Phyllis was there.  She exclaimed, "My
you look wonderful and happy now."

 ***********************************************************

Now let us return to the Lord Chancellor, and see what he is up to.
We last left him at his father's funeral.

After his Father's funeral, at his parents' manor in the country, the
door leading to the stairs up to the attic kept calling his attention.
The Trunk was up there, and it felt like it was calling him up.  He
slowly walked to the door, opened it, followed the stairs up several
flights, and found himself in the attic.  There, over there in the
corner, covered with cobwebs.  Yes, that was it.  He slowly made his
way toward the trunk, fear and horror ever increasing as he got ever
nearer the trunk.  Finally he stood over it and looked down.  Had it
been real?

No, he turned and walked steadily but with all deliberate speed to the
attic door and went back downstairs.  He just couldn't afford all
this; he was m0uch too busy.

His mother, sitting outdoors, pled with him to stay awhile and talk.
He refused, because he had to go back to work.  There was just so much
to do.  Back in London, the routine of work continued the next couple
of years.

One day, while he was discussing the problem of orphanages and the
Wards of Chancery, a peer mentioned a Ward living with a foster family
in Arcadia --- a young maiden, of beauty so fair, to be without
comparison in the civilized world.

He ignored that particular comment, but some time later, took a more
personal interest in the affairs of the Wards of Chancery.
Technically, he was their guardian throughout the country, and the
foster families and orphanages took care of the youngsters in his
name.  But never before had he actually had much to do with them.

The next summer, instead of sending a representative out, he went out
himself to inspect the Wards in the Southwestern part of England,
including Arcadia.  He got to me many different Wards, boys, young
men, girls, and young ladies.  He paid little attention to the boys
and young men, of course.

At one foster family in Arcadia, with a young lady ward.  There was
something about that girl, he couldn't say what.  She wasn't the most
beautiful girl in the world, not by any means, but there was something
about her...  He didn't hear her name when the foster father mentioned
it.

The Lord Chancellor noted that other Peers were here in Arcadia as
well, falconing, fishing, and hunting fowl.  He wondered about it a
bit.  He recalled Arcadia from way, way, back... it had seduced him
then.  He burnt in embarrassment at the memory.  Perhaps there was
something about this place he should worry about.

They served him a wonderful dinner.  Certainly wasn't the food that
was worrisome.  It seemed like this Family was doing her good.

As he departed in his coach, he glanced back at the farmhouse.
Another coach had stopped there, someone as well-dressed as he stepped
out and knocked on the front door.  Looked like one of the Peers in
the House of Peers; he wondered who it was.

After finishing his round, he returned to London in preparation for
the next legislative session.

The start of the legislative session was abuzz, with rumors about
secret visits to Arcadia, a super-attractive eligible young lady out
there, all sorts of specifics.  While initially, the rumor was merely
an open secret, eventually everyone talked about it openly.  It was
indeed the same girl that the Lord Chancellor himself noticed, and her
name turned out to be Phyllis.  It seemed like half the House of Peers
was interested in this young lady --- all the unmarried peers, some of
the married peers.  Of course, the House of Commons expressed an
interest in her as well, but they didn't count.

During the next legislative session, the House of Peers scheduled
sessions in Arcadia --- purely for legislative purposes, of course.
The peers thought it higly important to investigate the environment
there and insure that the peaceful lifestyle there was maintained.  Of
course, there would be various sorts of activities such as
salmon-fishing, grouse-hunting, and so forth, but those would all be
ancillary.

One trip to Arcadia, some months later, the Lord Chancellor just
happened to be at the local office with the two top leaders of the
House of Peers, when a young man appeared with a petition to the local
Chancellor's representative.  That young man wanted to marry the girl
himself, of all the nerve!  The Lord Chancellor didn't want to reject
the young man _too_ quickly, so he let him make his case.  Of course,
it was a foregone conclusion that that his petition would be denied,
and the young man departed in a huff.  The Lord Chancellor could see
him just struggling to remain polite.

After the young man left, the younger of the two peers turned to the
Lord Chancellor and commented, "Interesting young man, that Strephon.
Bears a certain resemblance to you, truth be told, milord.  Wouldn't
be a relative of yours, by any chance, would he?"

"Absolutely not, milord Tollolar.  I don't have any brothers or
sisters, and none of my relatives live in this place, as your lordship
surely knows."

"But could possibly be that you came out here perhaps twenty years
ago, and, well, you know."

"Are you suggesting what I think you are suggesting?  How utterly
impertinent!  I'm not that kind of gentleman."  He snorted and turned
away.  The folly of nearly forty years ago, was of course
unrelated. He suppressed the momentary memory.

Back in London, one of the members of the House of Lords introduced a
resolution for all the interested Peers to go out to Arcadia in two
weeks.  They did not wish to be oppressive, so they would give Phyllis
the choice herself of which peer to pick as her husband.

 ***********************************************************

The Lord Chancellor and all the peers took the train to Arcadia to
persuade Phyllis to choose one of them for a husband.

The peers arrived at the village, and settled into the Inn.  The Lord
Chancellor ordered Earl Tolloler to personally fetch Phyllis.  While
waiting for him to return with Phyllis, the Lord Chancellor spoke to
the other peers, and explained his dilemna.

"You have asked me to award this young lady Phyllis to whomever of you
she shall choose.  I must confess to a singular attraction to this
young lady myself.  Six months ago, I was a stout man.  I need say no
more."  The peers all nodded.  "I have an idea of getting married, and
I'm not too old.  And herein lies my dilemma.

"I am the guardian of this young lady, along with many other young
ladies.  The conflict of interest in this is apparent.  As Lord
Chancellor, can I give my own consent to myself to marry Phyllis?  Can
I take her without my consent?  If I marry her without my consent,
must I order a warrant out for my own arrest?  Must I bring myself up
in front of my court, to sentence myself to hard labor for contempt of
court?"  The Lord Chancellor sighed.  "Ah, My Lords.  It is such a
heavy position to find myself in."

One of the peers spoke out, "We sympathize most respectfully with your
position."  Everyone shouted, "Here, here," not very loudly or
enthusiastically.

"I thank your lordships.  Because of my delicate position, I hereby
waive my claim."  He noted, but ignored the relieved reaction of the
peers.

At that time, Lord Tolloler returned, escorting Phyllis. "My Lords, I
have persuaded the young lady in question to join us."  All eyes
turned as one toward the entrance, and as Phyllis entered the room,
the collective sigh of the peers was audible.

Phyllis walked calmly up to the Lord Chancellor and bowed.  "My Lord
and Guardian, I appear at your summons."

The Lord Chancellor stood a moment gazing at her, then shook his head
and cleared his throat.  "My dear, persuant to Resolution HP84-296, we
must give you in marriage to whomsoever you may choose of the Peers
present."  At her expression of surprise, the Lord Chancellor
continued, "We realize the shortness of notice, and that this may
sound rather abrupt, but we are sure that you will adjust and be very
happy. You realize that you have the opportunity of a lifetime."

Phyllis said nothing.  The Peers came down one by one, to eloquently
make their case for her, starting at the highest rank, Lord Tolloler.
He said to her and the audience, "My Lords, of all young ladies, this
young lady is the fairest.  Her lips are the rosiest, her eyes are the
fairest.  True, she's lowly born, but I've blood enough for the two of
us, and then some.  Not to mention, a Classical Education sufficient
for all."  Tolloller continued his speech for the next five minutes,
until Lord Mountararat, the ranking opposition Peer brushed him aside.

The Lord Chancellor could see well enough that Tolloller didn't go
over well with Phyllis.  Perhaps Mountararat would do better; he
tended to be more eloquent and profound in any case.

Mountararat spoke at length.  "Our Noble House of Peers has divided
itself along Party lines on every conceivable issue.  However, with
respect to the Subject at Hand, we are all of unprecedented
unanimity. Why, if you would ask us which party we belong to now, we
must in all truth answer, we belong to the party here before us."  He
bowed to Phyllis.  "Words can but hint at the devotion felt by the
world for this young lady."

Lord Mountararat continued to speak majestically for the next ten
minutes.  He directed minimal attention to Phyllis, except when making
a particular point.  He definitely ignored her yawns which she
attempted to conceil.

Before another Peer approached to sing his own praises, Phyllis spoke
out.  "Please do not tempt me, milords.  I do not long for rank or
wealth.  The only true and virtuous life is simplicity and
humbleness. I have sufficient grammar and spelling that I need; I do
not wish to attain any upperclass airs."

Tolloller took her hand and spoke out.  "My Lady, allow me to assure
you, the Peerage is not devoid of virtue."  He placed his other hand
at her elbow.  "Please, do not exhibit such disdain toward us."  His
hand slid up her arm from her elbow.  "Why, pure hearts exist just as
much in Belgrave Square as in the Seven Dials" --- the Lord Chancellor
cringed at Tolloller's mention of that horrible neighborhood of
London. Tolloller's hand slid up to and around Phyllis's shoulders.
"Spare us the pain of stern denial."  Tolloller finally noticed
Phyllis's look of disgust, and turned away sighing, "All the royal
blood in the world would utterly futile here."

Phyllis spoke out to all the peers present.  "My Lords, this may not
be.  You waste your time on me; my heart is already given!"

"Given?!?!?" every Peer exclaimed in shock!  Blood rushed from a few
faces, and one peer collapsed.

"Yes, given!  I'm so sorry!"

The Lord Chancellor exclaimed, "So who dares to brave our displeasure,
and defy our decree?"

"I do!" came a sharp, bold voice, accompanied by a flash of thunder.
Everyone turned toward the entrance to the hall, where a young man
appeared.  The Lord Chancellor distinctly recognized the face; that
was the man who had pled for Phyllis's hand some months ago.  But what
was his name?

"And who might you be?"

"I am Strephon, and I claim Phyllis's hand for myself.  We are getting
married, today!"

Everyone shrieked.  "Nooo!!!  Stabbed in the Back!" exclaimed
Tollollor.

Lord Mountararat spoke, "Now, now.  Let us all maintain our
composure. We are all adults and noblemen, and we are all proud in our
hearts.  Lets us depart with all dignity due our status."  He swung
his cloak around in a flourish, and marched out the door, escorting an
unwilling Phyllis with him.  Lord Tolloller and all the other Peers
followed him out, holding their heads high and noses upturned, leaving
the Lord Chancellor alone with Strephon.

The Lord Chancellor turned to Strephon.  "Now, my young man.  Perhaps
you would be so good as to explain your disobediance to an order of
the Court of Chancery."

Strephon responded, "My Lord, I only go by Nature's Parliament, and
abide only by their acts.  The bees, the breeze, the flowers, the
showers, the grass, the ass, the fowl of the air, the fish of the
creek, all command me to love this maiden and to take her.  The flash
of each thunderbolt, the fire of the sun each day it rises, the
silvery light of the moon each, all write it in the sky.  Now, in the
face of the biddings of Nature, am I to answer that it's forbidden by
a certain Lord Chancellor?  Sir, you are England's Lord Chancellor,
but are you Chancellor of birds and trees, King of the winds, and
Prince of thunder-clouds?"

The Lord Chancellor replied, "It's a nice point, I grant you that.
I've never encountered it before."  He blinked back a momentary memory
of sadness and horror.  "No, never," he said more to himself, then
turned back to Strephon.  "The problem is, there's no evidence before
the court that Mother Nature has indeed interested herself in the
matter."

"No evidence?  But I tell you so!  You have my word!"

"My good sir, your word is not sufficient.  That is hearsay evidence,
not allowed in our Court --- with certain exceptions, of course, which
unfortunately do not apply here.  Now, an affidavit by a
thundershower, or a deposition given under oath by the creek running
through the meadow, would merit full attention."

"But this is not simply an equity case.  It bubbles over with poetic
emotion.  Do you have the heart to insist upon the prosaic Rules of
Evidence, in cases such as this?"

"Absolutely, my young man.  I have always held my duty strictly in
front of my eyes.  That and only that, do I owe for my advancement to
my present position.  I have followed the strictest standards from my
youth, from the time I first entered the bar.  I have never unfairly
tricked an over-dull judge.  I have never taken a fee for a case
without putting the work into it.  I have never assumed a rogue to be
eminently believable simply because his attorney sends a brief --- not
that I consider you a rogue or anything, heaven forbid!  I never
assumed that a common man summoned into court has perjured himself as
a matter of course.  No, sir.  I have played strictly by the rules,
and to the best of my ability been strictly fair.  No, young Strephon.
My order is set; you will not marry anyone this day, under penalty of
imprisonment at hard labor.  I bid you good day."  And the Lord
Chancellor walked out.

Strephon collapsed onto a bench, and lay there weaping.

A few minutes later, Iolanthe appeared.  "My son in tears, and on his
wedding day!"

 ***********************************************************

"My son in tears, and on his wedding day!" exclaimed Iolanthe.

"Alas, Mother, the wedding is not to be!  The Law, in the form of the
Lord Chancellor, has separated us forever!"

"But remember, you are half a fairy!  You can defy the Lord
Chancellor."

"Only down to the waist.  But he can condemn my legs to a lifetime
penal servitude at hard labor!  And my top half is tied to my legs!"
Strephon burst out in tears.  Iolanthe put her arm around him, to
comfort him.

They walked out of the building, talking.  Unbeknownst to them, a
group of Peers were nearby and spotted the two.  A few minutes later,
all the peers had returned, dragging an unwilling Phyllis with them.
She shrieked at the sight of Strephon and Iolanthe, who jumped at the
sound.

"Phyllis!" exclaimed Strephon.

"Stop, shameless one!" shrieked Phyllis.  "You..."

"Please, let me present my mother!"

Everyone burst out in gales of laughter.  Strephon realized at that
instant how ridiculous it seemed.

The laughter died down somewhat, as the Lord Chancellor reappeared.
"My lords, what's all this undignified mirth?  Why, the very earth
trembles!"

Lord Mountararat replied, "My Lord, this gentleman was caught with a
sixteen-year-old girl, having his dolce far niente.  And, can you
believe this, he claims she's is mother!"

The Lord Chancellor turned toward Strephon and Iolanthe.  Turning back
to Lord Mountararat, he answered, "Recollect yourself; be careful what
you say.  There's no way I can conceive of that a maid of sixteen
could be the mother of a man of twenty-two years, I'd say."

In the middle of this, Iolanthe, frightened that the Lord Chancellor
might recognize her, disappeared.  Nobody noticed.

Strephon said, in a despairing tone, "My Lords, she is my mother, has
been from my birth!  Why, I still remember, when I was just a little
tyke.  She fed me, she held me.  Why, if not for her neurishment, your
young Strephon would most surely have died of starvation!"

Tears came to the Lord Chancellor's eyes, "Died of starvation?"  The
other Peers seemed to develop tears as well, until Lord Mountararat
spoke out, "My Lords why all these tears?  She's clearly not his
mother.  And anyway, why should we rejoice that young Strephon didn't
die.  Instead, let us all cry because our Strephon did not die."

Phyllis spoke out, and the room quieted down instantly.  "I have never
longed for riches or rank; I have always viewed their pleasures as
vain.  I loved a swain whom I thought was true but poor.  But now he
has shown himself as false and deceptive.  I now turn to one of you!
These two Earls, Mountararat and Tolloller, lead the House of Peers,
and are the wealthiest and highest in rank in all Britain.  One of
you, I give myself to for life.  Decide among yourselves, and I shall
marry you.  I shall be a Countess!"  She took both of their arms.

"Phyllis, please!"  Strephon begged, in tears.  Phyllis ignored him
and walked away with the two Earls.  The other Peers all laughed at
the his distress.  "Oh, Mother!"  He looked around and noticed that
his mother had disappeared.  The Peers all laughed further.  "Oh,
disaster!  I can't take it any further!"  More laughter.  "Mighty
mistress, come to my aid!"

Without warning a clap of thunder sounded, and there appeared a mass
of girls rushing about, all dressed in fancy skirts and dresses.  They
converged onto Strephon, talking and giggling.  A slightly more
mature-looking female appeared, and they all quieted down.

Strephon said, "My love Phyllis caught me talking with my mother; now
she think's I've been cheating on her."

One of the Peers shouted out, "Oh, Fie!  Strephon's just a rogue!"

Strephon continued.  "I tell her and everyone that she was my mother,
but she doesn't believe me.  Now she's going to leave me and take up
with these two noblemen," he stopped in tears.

The Fairy Queen turned and scolded the Peers, "How cruel of you!  He
has told the truth; the lady is his mother."

The Lord Chancellor replied, "Oh sure.  That fable is as good an
excuse as any.  If they fondled each other, I'm sure she's not his
mother.  Especially if she's but sixteen."

Lord Mountararat did a little figuring to himself, and spoke out.
"After all, if he's twenty-two and she's only sixteen, she must have
been minus six when he was born."

The Fairy Queen answered, "Sir, you know not what you talk about.  The
world is much grander than you imagine."

The very impertinance of this lady hit home to the Lord Chancellor.
Why the heck were we arguing and debating with these girls and this
lady, as if we were equals?  We are Peers and proud of it!  "Madam, go
away!  You display shocking taste, coming here, interfering with us.
We are Peers. If you and your brood don't depart at once, we will call
out the constable and have you arrested and locked up."

The fairies all fumed in fury, and the Fairy Queen turned toward the
Lord Chancellor with a shocked expression.  She raised her hand, and
the Lord Chancellor found himself frozen in position by some unknown
force.  The Fairy Queen waved her hand around, and the Lord
Chancellor's head and body could only follow.  "You, the Lord
Chancellor of all England.  It is necessary to teach your tongue to
speak respectfully.  Your superiour attitude is very much out of place
when face to face with an influential fairy."

The compelling force suddenly released him.  He collapsed into the
arms of two Peers standing behind him.  One of the Peers said, "Our
humble apologies, Madam.  We had no idea you all were fairies."

Another said, "No Madam, we were unaware.  We thought you were simply
the propriatress of a Ladies Seminary."

That only angered the fairies more than ever.  One raised her hand,
and the whole crowd of Peers froze.  "You tremble now; you shall
tremble ever more."

Another fairy gave the Peers a jolt, saying, "When gentlemen offend
us, our wrath is tremendous!"

A third fairy proclaimed, "Those who underrate us, shall face their
doom!"

The Fairy Queen spoke out herself, "I shall rain down horrible
thunders --- No, I have a better idea.  HE shall wreck my vengence."
She pointed to Strephon.  "Tremble, when your Houses of Parliament
next assemble."  Strephon approached the Fairy Queen in some
trepidation.  "Young Strephon, put aside your flocks and staff,
suspend your work as a shepherd.  You shall enter Parliament."  She
spoke to all.  "Every bill, every measure, that he proposes shall be
passed by both your houses!  If he sees reason, you shall sit through
the hunting seasons. He may disolve your Friday night rights.  Peers
shall proliferate; a Duke's exalted rank be attained by competitive
examination!"

The Peers all shouted out in unison, "Oh, horrer!"

 ***********************************************************

The following days were dreadful for Strephon.  But he slowly
accustomed himself to the fact that Phyllis didn't want him any more,
and thought he was a cheat.

The Fairy Queen's pronouncement echoing in his mind, he filed with the
Liberal Party for nomination to Parliament.  He never thought he would
actually win, so he didn't think about it, but merely continued his
chores as a shepherd.

But to his surprise, he won the Liberal nomination for Parliament.
Then he won the general election, the first time a Liberal had won in
arcadia since time immemorable.

So, off he went to London, and entered Parliament.  Being a fairy down
to the waste, he was able to generate his own clothes, so he was
spared the huge expense of purchasing personally designed clothes for
his work.

On the other hand, he felt a horrid wrongness in London.  There was
always continuous violence and crime.  Sometimes, during the night, he
would sense a particular mugging or violent act at night or during the
heavy pea-soup fog, and fly out and stop it.  But he could do nothing
about the vast majority of crimes in London.  He realized it was
primarily because of the high concentration of people in London.
There were far fewer people in Arcadia, and consequently far fewer
crimes.  It could well also be the proximity of people. Strephon
didn't know.

When he first reported for duty in the House of Commons, he found
himself in front of the head of the Liberal Party there, and was told
in no uncertaint terms that he must vote the party line.  He didn't
answer, but he just couldn't understand why he couldn't simply vote
the way he felt was right.  After all, why run for Parliament if he
couldn't do what he wanted there.  Anyway, he recalled the Fairy
Queen's pronouncement, that every bill of his would pass.  Things had
worked out up until now, why not now?

Everything but Phyllis, that is.  Phyllis had come to London too, and
was staying with the family of an elderly but married Peer.  She was
waiting until the two Peers Tolloller and Mountararat decided between
them who would get her.

[Phyllis should arrive later...]

The first few weeks in session, Strephon just listened and learned the
procedures.  He was assigned to a few committees, where lots of the
real work was done.  It was primarily discussion, anyway.  It's not as
if MPs had to actually do anything.  Strephon found it rather boring.
At least until he got into a few arguments about what should be done.

Of course, he had little contact with the House of Lords.  The Peers
views the Commons as beneath contempt, and dealt with them as little
as possible.  The members of the House of Commons, on the other hand,
viewed the Peers as pompous twits.

The fifth week of the session, he quietly introduced a bill into
Parliament.  The act entailed simply writing up the bill and
delivering it to the appropriate clerk, who would enter it into the
docket.  It was but a simple bill, to cut off subsidies for
transportation between England and her colonies.  He felt that the
merchants were making enough money to pay for their transportation
themselves.

 ***********************************************************

Lord Tolloller and Lord Mountararat were in their own in the House of
Peers.  They were the leaders of their respective Parties.  While they
found themselves in opposition on many issues in the House of Peers,
outside they were always good friends, and had been from their youth.

But this year had brought them new things.  First, they were both
engaged to Phyllis, the loveliest maiden ever to set foot on the
British Soil, and her years had not left the teens.  She was a most
youthful bride, for Mountararat at 50 years of age and Tolloller at
44.  They were having problems deciding between them who was to get
Phyllis.  Each had excellent reasons proving that he would be the
better husband, so things were at an impasse.

[I think I should have Phyllis stay in Arcadia until her nineteenth or
twentieth birthday.  Then she comes to London to live with a guardian,
shortly before the confrontation with the two peers.]

The other Peers were also attracted to Phyllis, and it was getting
pretty obvious that the Lord Chancellor himself was obsessed with her.
Of course, the Lord Chancellor kept that obsession under wraps, and
nobody mentioned it out loud.  But still it was pretty obvious.

Second, Parliament was in an uproar.  An upstart member of the House
of Commons had effectively taken it over, getting passed whatever
bills he proposed.  This new member turned out to be the very same
Strephon they had encountered months ago in Arcadia.

They first heard of him when a small surprise bill came to the House
of Lords from the House of Commons.  It was short, and somehow had
managed to slip through the House of Commons at surprising speed.  The
bill would stop all subsidies of private transportation among the
British Isles and her Colonies around the world.

The Peers were almost unanimous in their vocal opposition to the bill,
and many gave heartfelt speeches in the House of Peers about the
majesty and glory of the British Empire. One Peer spoke out in favor
of the bill, but was quickly sat upon by the other Peers.  Tolloller
and Mountararat and the chairman of the House of Lords all agreed to
dispatch the bill quickly with a voice vote.

The chairman called out, "All in favor, aye!" and a surprising chorus
of voices called out. A compariable chorus voted "Nay" in turn, and
the chairman decided he could not tell the outcome.  He decided to
hold a role-call vote.  The result: 57-34 in favor.  The result was
pretty much bipartisan --- similar ratios held for both parties.

Tolloller and Mountararat promptly gathered the membership into
separate party caucuses to discuss the disaster.  As soon as the
Conservative Peers had taken their seats in the Conservative Chamber,
Mountararat stood at the podium and addressed them.  "My Lords, We are
gathered here today to discuss an excruciatingly serious matter.  Now
it is not necessary more me to expound at length on today's events.
You all know what happened.  So let us get down to the precise matter
at hand.  It is not merely this occurance in itself that concerns me.
I can live with the this law itself.  In fact --" Mountararat looked
in all directions "-- I'm somewhat -- just a little -- sympathetic
with the idea of having the mercantile pay their own transportation
costs.

"Rather, I am concerned about what this portends.  There is the
possibility that it might happen again.  So let us get to the bottom
of this matter to make sure it never happens again.  Now, those of you
who voted for that bill --- you know who you are; I need not read out
the roll call --- please explain what went through your mind."
Mountararat hoped nobody would bring up his own inadvertent vote for
the bill.

Nobody answered for several minutes.  One Peer finally admitted, "My
Lord, I must confess.  I voted for the bill.  I had every intention of
voting against, but before I realised it, I had voted in favor.  I
didn't notice until too late."

This provoked heavy discussion: "...I thought I was voting for a
motion to table the bill..."

"...I voted for it?  Oh, I guess I did.  I didn't notice..."

"I supported the bill."  This was the Peer who had spoken out in favor
of the bill.

"Then you don't count."

"Not unless _you_ jinxed us."

"You didn't do that, did you?"

The Peers who had actually voted against the bill remained silent,
looking smug.  Even though they lost, they had maintained their
position.

Up above them, in their own little world, the fairies looked down upon
the quarreling Peers. They danced and flittered about.  "This is the
most fun we've had in decades!"  It was wonderful how they could
secretly manipulate the unaware Peers, and make the Peers turn against
themselves in righteous fury.

Of Course, Strephon wasn't content to rest with that one victory.  He
continued to introduce bills into Parliament, and no matter what
anyone tried to do, every one of them passed.  Every Peer found
himself at least once or twice voting for Strephon's bills, and
Strephon always had enough votes to gain a solid working majority.
Thus he became head of both houses of Parliament, leader of both
Parties.  The most anyone else could do was to advise Strephon on the
merits and consequences of items in a bill, and recommend
alternatives, or possibly delay the bill a few days by routing it to
committee.

The last straw was when Strephon introduced his bill to open the
Peerage to competitive examination.  The bill came up in the House of
Peers one late evening, where the Peers were working late because of
an earlier bill requiring Parliament to stay in active session and do
productive work more and longer hours a week.  The bill was read in
session, and the Peers, lead by the leaders Tolloller and Mountararat
promptly stood up and walked out of the building in a fury.

The fairies were outside in the courtyard, dancing about and
celebrating Strephon's rapid rise to power.  They vanished just as the
Peers appeared in the courtyard.  One of the fairies reappeared and
jumped out at the Peers, giving them the fright of their lives.  The
other fairies appeared in turn, and giggled at the Peers all in
disarray.

The Peers promptly recovered their dignity.  They looked down with
annoyance at the giggling creatures who looked like young maidens; and
the fairies giggled all the more at their expressions.

Finally, one of them spoke.  "You seem annoyed."

Mountararat stepped toward the fairies, ignoring a whisper warning,
and answered, "I should think so!  Why, this ridiculous protege of
yours is playing the deuce with everything!  Why, tonight he's
introduced a bill to throw the Peerage open to Competitive
Examination!"

"And he'll carry it, too!" added Tolloller.

"Of course he will.  He carries everything!"

A second fairy replied, "If you please, that's our fault."

Mountararat exclaimed, "The deuce it is!"

The first fairy said, "Yes.  We influence the members, and compel them
to vote just as he wishes them to."

The second fairy agreed.  "It's our system; it shortens the debates."

"But think what it all means!" exclaimed Tolloller.  "I don't so much
mind for myself.  But with a House of Peers with no grandfathers worth
mentioning, the country must go to the dogs!"

"I suppose it must!"

"I don't want to say a word against brains," said Mountararat.  "I've
a great respect for brains; I often wish I had some myself.  But with
a House of Peers composed exclusively of people of intellect, what's
to become of the House of Commons?"

"I never thought of that," replied the second fairy in some
embarrassment.

"This comes of women interfering in politics.  It so happens that if
there is an institution in Great Britain which is not susceptible of
any improvement at all, it is the House of Peers."  The fairies looked
suitably humbled, and all the peers shouted, "Hear, hear!  Speech!"
Mountararat nonchalantly walked over and stood on a stone step, and
faced the crowd of Peers, fairies, and interested bystanders.

Mountararat sang a majestic song, describing how Great Britain became
great under Queen Elizabeth, and how Great Britain defeated Napolean
under King George.  How this all happened because the House of Peers
did nothing in particular and did it very well.  Great Britain was
great because the Peers did not pretend to intellectual eminance and
did not itch to interfere with matters beyond them.

Everyone was moved by Mountararat's speech -- the fairies as much as
the Peers.  During the song, the fairies had intermingled themselves
among the peers.  Whatever else they may be, the fairies were British
Fairies.  As Mountararat stepped down from his high horse, the second
fairy commented, "Charming persons, are they not?"

"Distinctly," answered the first fairy.  "For self-contained dignity,
combined with airy condescension, give me a British representative
Peer!"

"Then, pray, stop this protege of yours before it's too late," said
Tolloller.  "Think of the mischief you're doing!"

"But we can't stop him now," cried the second fairy, in tears.  "Oh,
why did you go and defy us, you great geese?"

"`Great Geese,' indeed!" exclaimed Tolloller as he snorted.  He turned
his back to the fairy and began to depart, but as he walked away he
felt a jolt on jerking him back and spinning him around.

"Please don't go!" begged the fairy.  "You sneer at us.  You break our
laws.  It's true we sigh and cry, but don't think we forgive you.  No,
we're very cross indeed."  At that, Tolloller again turned and tried
to leave, only to be zapped back.  "Don't go!  You are our foe, and we
hate you."

"Well, my dear," replied Tolloller.  "If you hate us so, then you have
no problem if we go." Tolloller turned and walked off, ignoring the
pleas of the fairy.  At least she didn't zap him back this time."

 ***********************************************************

A few days later one Sunday afternoon, Mountararat and Tolloller were
walking in the park.  They spotted Phyllis sitting on one of the
benches.

[Phyllis's arrival in London should be long and excitedly anticipated
by everyone in Parliament, except for Strephon who's frightened of it.
The day after her arrival, the two Lords call on her, but she has gone
to the park.  So they quickly stride out after her, and find her
sitting on one of the benches, legs crossed at the ankles, sketching a
nice scene.  Of course, she's wearing a dress down to her ankles.]

"Phyllis, my darling!" called out Mountarart as he sat down next to
her.

"Phyllis, my own!" echoed Tolloller as he sat down on the other side
of her and took her arm.

"Don't!" exclaimed Phyllis as she slapped Tolloller in the face.  "How
dare you?  Oh, perhaps you're the two noblemen I'm engaged to?"

"I am one of them," replied Mountararat.

"I am the other," said Tolloller.

"Oh, then, my darlings.  I must apologize," she said to Tolloller in
particular.  "So have you settled which it's to be?"

"Not altogether," replied Tolloller.  "It's a difficult position.  It
would be hardly delicate to toss up.  On the whole, we would rather
leave it to you."

"But how can it possibly concern me?  You are both earls; you are both
rich; and you are both old and plain."

"So we are, so we are.  At least I am," answered Mountararat.

"So am I," said Tolloller.

"No, no!" said Mountarart.

"Oh, I am indeed very plain."

"Well, well.  Perhaps you are."

Phyllis said, "I really have nothing to choose between you.  If one of
you would forego his title and distribute his estate among his Irish
tenantry, why then I should see a reason for accepting the other."

The two noblemen stood and walked a few paces off to the side.
"Tolloller," asked Mounararat.  "Are you prepared to make this
sacrifice?"

"No..."

"Not even to oblige a lady?"

"No, not even to oblige a lady."

"Then the only question is, which of us shall give way to the other?"
Mountararat continued.  "Perhaps, on the whole, she would be happier
with me.  I don't know; I may be wrong."

"No, I don't know that you are," replied Tolloller.  "I really believe
she would be happier with you.  But the awkward part of the thing is
that, if you rob me of the girl of my heart, we must fight and one of
us must die.  It's a family tradition that I have sworn to uphold.
It's a painful position, for I have a very strong regard for
you... George."

"My dear Thomas!"

"You are very dear to me, George.  We were boys together -- at least I
was.  If I were to survive you, my existance would be hopelessly
embittered."

"Then, my dear Thomas, you must not do it.  I say it again and again:
if it will have this effect on you, you must not do it.  No, no.  If
one of us is to destroy the other, let it be me!"

"No, no!"

"Yes, yes!  By our boyish friendship I implore you."

"Well, well, be it so," Tolloller paused.  "But no!  I cannot consent
to an act which would crush you with unavailing remorse."

"But it would not do so.  I should be very sad at first -- oh, who
would not be? -- but it would wear off.  I like you very much, but
not, perhaps, as much as you like me."

"George, you're a noble fellow, but that tell-tale tear betrays you.
No, George, you are very fond of me, and I cannot consent to give you
a week's uneasiness on my account."

"But, dear Thomas, it would not last a week.  Remember, you lead the
House of Lords; on your demise, I shall take your place.  Oh, Thomas,
it would not last a day!"  Stepping forward, Mountararat reached his
hands out toward Tolloller's neck.

"Oh!" shrieked Phyllis as she jumped up and broke in between them.
"You're not going to fight over me, are you?  It really isn't worth
while."

Tolloller looked at her, at Mountararat, and back at her.  "No, I
don't believe it is."

"Nor I," agreed Mountararat.  "The sacred ties of friendship are
paramount."

"Then please, forget your obsession and free me, both of you,"
implored Phyllis.  "Let the blame be mine, but in the name of
friendship, go your ways and forget about me."

"Indeed we shall.  Good day, Milady."  Tolloller and Mountararat bowed
to Phyllis and turned and walked away together.  "Say, why don't we
take the afternoon off and do a little Falconing?" Mountararat
suggested to Tolloller.  They spent the rest of the afternoon
reminising of the good old days of their youth, and the many events
that had occured, and the current crisis facing Parliament and
Britain.

Mountararat mentioned the Lord Chancellor, who was his cousin about
ten years old.  Mountararat didn't really know what happened; he was
only ten or so at the time.  But the Lord Chancellor was supposed to
have done something, had run off or something.  His elders were
hush-hush about it around him, but there was considerable disapproval
going on.  They were all relieved when he returned after half a year.
Thatcher had done his penance, and then turned out sober and proper.

That evening Tolloller headed for his townhouse.  The afternoon had
been a cathartic experience, and he'd developed a new appreciation for
his old friend Mountararat.  He told himself, "Yes.  It was the right
thing.  Phyllis was just an obsession, nothing more."  It wouldn't be
right for that kind of rivalry to break up their long-standing
friendship.  "But what a lady.  It will be jolly difficult to forget
her, just like that."  He did not realize he was talking out loud.

"Yes, she is very hard to forget, is she not?" spoke a female voice
next to him.  He jumped in surprise.  A fairy was flying next to him,
her head at the level of his.  He recognized her; she was that very
same fairy who had confronted him personally that time in the
courtyard, he was sure.  "Perhaps I could help you.  Forget her, that
is."  And she put one arm around his shoulders while the other reached
down to his belly and slid down to lower levels...  She giggled as he
jumped back in surprise, and persisted with her manipulations.

A few days later, Tolloller and Mountararat were visiting the Lord
Chancellor in his office. They had noticed how gaunt and thin the Lord
Chancellor looked, and now Mountararat brought it up.  "My Lord, have
you been taking care of yourself lately?"

"I shall admit it: I have been sleeping very poorly and having all
sorts of nightmares these past months, and not eating very well
either."

"Yes," answered Tolloller.  "That young fellow Strephon is really
making an ass of himself in Parliament."

"Ah, My Lords, I could handle that well enought.  But -- I shall be
frank.  It is seldom that a Lord Chancellor has reason to envy the
position of another, but I am free to confess that I would rather be
two earls engaged to Phyllis than any other half-dozen noblemen upon
the face of the globe."

Tolloller answered without enthusiasm, "Yes. It's an enviable position
when you're the only one."

"Oh, yes -- no doubt most enviable," Mountararat agreed.  "But seeing
you thus, we naturally say to ourselves, `This is very sad.  His
Lordship is constitutionally as blithe as a bird.  He is, perhaps, the
only living instance of a judge whose decrees have received the honor
of a double encore.  How can we bring ourselves to do that which will
deprive the Court of Chancery of one of its most attractive
features?'"

"I feel the force of your remarks," replied the Lord Chancellor.  "But
I am here in two capacities, and they clash, my Lords; they clash.  I
deeply grieve to say that in declining to entertain my last
application to myself, I presumed to address myself in terms which
render it impossible for me ever to apply to myself again.  It was a
most painful scene, my Lord.  Most painful!"

"This is what it is to have two capacities," commented Tolloller.
"Let us be thankful that we are persons of no capacity whatever."

"Come, come," chided Mountararat.  "Remember, you are a very just and
kindly old gentleman, and you need have no hesitation in approaching
yourself, so that you do so respectfully and with a proper show of
deference."

"Do you really think so?"

"I do"

"Well, I will nerve myself to another effort, and if that fails, I
resign myself to my fate."

"Remember," said Tolloller.  "Only the brave deserve the fair.

"And faint heart never won Fair Lady," added Mountararat.

About the same time, Strephon was walking though the courtyard,
thinking about further bills to pass.  There were so many problems to
solve -- crime, education.  He was disturbed by the colonization of
the world, too --- people didn't WANT to be conquered and "civilized."
He felt depressed and bitter, and wondered why he wasn't enjoying
himself as leader of both paries and both houses of Parliament.  "Oh,
Phyllis, Phyllis!" he called out, bitter.

"Yes?"

Strephon jumped in surprise.  He wasn't expecting a reply.  "Phyllis!
Pardon me, my Lady," he corrected himself.  "I have not been informed
as to which title your ladyship has chosen."

"I'm not --- I mean, I haven't quite decided yet.  You see, I have no
mother to advise me."

"I have."

"A very young mother..."

"Not very.  A couple of centuries or so."

"Oh?  She wears well."

"She should; she's a fairy."  Strephon regreted that remark as soon as
it slipped out.

"I beg your pardon -- a fairy?"

"Oh, I've no longer any reason to conceal it.  Yes, she's a fairy."

"Well, that would account for," she hesitated.  "A good many things.
Then I suppose you're a fairy."

"I'm half a fairy.  A fairy down to the waist."

"There's nothing to show for it!" She poked him in the side.

"Ow!  I can show you if you want."  He promptly made his top half
invisible.  Phyllis shrieked and jumped in fright, and he restored
himself.

Phyllis recovered shortly.  "But why didn't you tell me this before?"

"I thought you would take a dislike to me, or fear me horribly.  But
as it's all off, you may as well know the truth.  I'm only half a
mortal."

"But I'd rather have half a mortal that I do love, than half a dozen I
don't!"

"Oh, I think not.  Go to your half-dozen."

"It's only two, and I hate'em!  Please forgive me!" Phyllis cried.

"I'm not sure I ought to.  Besides, all sorts of difficulties will
arise.  You know, my grandmother looks quite as young as my mother.
So do all my aunts."

"I quite understand.  Whenever I see you kissing a very young lady, I
shall know it's an elderly relative."

"You will?  Then we shall be very happy!" Strephon embraced Phyllis
and kissed her.  It was a prolonged kiss, to make up for all the time
they were separated.

After they separated, Phyllis asked, "Does your mother know?  Is she
aware of us?"

Iolanthe appeared right next to them. "She is, and thus she welcomes
her daughter-in-law."  Iolanthe kissed her on the cheek.

"She kisses just like other people!" exclaimed Phyllis.  "But, oh!
The Lord Chancellor, what about him?"

"I forgot him!  Mother, none can resist your fairy eloquence.  You
will go to him and plead for us?"

Iolanthe was much agitated.  "No, no!  It's impossible."

"But our happiness, our very lives, depend on his consent!" said
Strephon.

"You know not what you ask.  The Lord Chancellor is," Iolanthe
hesitated.  "My husband."

"Your husband?" exclaimed Phyllis and Strephon both in surprise.

"Yes -- and your father."  She said that to Strephon.

"Then our course is plain!" exclaimed Phyllis.  "On his learning that
Strephon is his son, all objections to our marriage will be at once
removed."

"No... no... I can't!"  And Iolanthe promptly disappeared.  But the
idea had planted itself in her mind, and refused to go away.

"Please do not look so betrayed, young Strephon," came a voice from
above.  Strephon looked up and spotted a fairy sitting above them on a
treebranch.

"Hello, Miss."  Strephon nodded his head, while he racked his brain.
"You must be Fleta."

"Yes, indeed," Fleta giggled.  To Phyllis, she said, "And you must be
Phyllis.  I've heard plenty about you."  Phyllis curtsied briefly.
The fairy became serious again.  "Let me tell you about your mother
and the Lord Chancellor."  She told Phyllis and Strephon how Iolanthe
had met the man who was now the Lord Chancellor forty years ago,
married him.  The penalty was death for marrying a mortal, but the
Fairy Queen commutted it to confinement to the creek.  The Fairy Queen
had finally relented and pardoned and freed Iolanthe only last year.
But she must still never reveal herself to the Lord Chancellor; if she
does, she dies.  He must continue to believe that she died childless.

"Yes, I understand now," said Strephon.  He was moved that the fairy
could tell the whole story seriously, without giggling or laughing
once.  Things were that serious.

Fleta said, "But you know, you can do it yourself.  Have Parliament
pass a law giving you consent to marry Phyllis.  Parliament won't
reject it, you know that."

"No, I mustn't," Strephon replied firmly.  "It's out of the question.
It would be most unethical to use my power in Parliament for my own
personal benefit."

The next morning, Tolloller lay in bed, his arms wrapped around the
fairy, whose name he learned was Leila.  They had spent a wonderful
night together, and now they cuddled and caressed and kissed each
other.  Leila suddenly became agitated.  "Something horrible's going
to happen!" She promptly shrank and flew out the window.  Tolloller
jumped out of bed and ran to the window.  He could see a momentary
reflection from the sun as she flew toward the park.  He got dressed
as quickly as possible and ran out toward the park.

At the same time, Phyllis was having breakfast with Strephon, when he
suddenly got the strong feeling of horrible wrongness.  "I gotta go.
Something bad's going to happen!"  And he fled outside and toward the
park.  Phyllis shortly followed him, running as fast as she could.

The Lord Chancellor left home for work feeling wonderful.  He had
slept well for the first time in ages.  Yesterday evening, he had
finally persuaded himself to consent to give Phyllis to himself.  It
was a most hard-fought battle with himself, he recalled.  At first, he
wouldn't hear of it.  It was out of the question.  But then he pointed
out that he was no stranger to himself; as point of fact, he had been
personally acquainted with himself for quite some time.  That had an
effect; he admitted that he had watched his professional advancement
for some time, and yielded to nobody in admiration for his private and
professional virtues.  Then he worked on his feelings.  Eventually,
after a severe struggle with himself, he reluctantly, most
reluctantly, consented.  He was thus now engaged to Phyllis.  He
wondered how Phyllis would react when she was informed.  He would see
to that first thing, upon his arrival in his office.

It was a gorgeous morning, and he decided to walk through the park on
the way to Parliament.  He stopped for a moment in the park to look
about and enjoy his surroundings.  A young lady accosted him; she was
veiled, and her features seemed blurred.  They wouldn't clear up
however much he blinked and tried to focus his eyes.  He wondered if
he should get another pair of specticles.  She kneeled at his feet.

"My Lord, I plead a suppliant of you.  Please listen to a mother's
fond appeal.  It's young Strephon of whom I speak."  So this was
Strephon's very young mother.  Or was she a fairy?  With that
encounter with fairies and the resulting business with Parliament, he
didn't know what to believe right now.  Everything seemed turned upon
its head.  All right, he would listen to her plea.

The maiden continued, "In bygone years, have you ever wept tears for
one untimely dead?  Bitter, unavailing tears?"  "If even now, in the
eventide of life, sad thoughts of her still arise, let the memory of
your wife plead for my son.  he loves."  The Lord Chancellor couldn't
tell -- was she singing or speaking?  It was a low, somber tone.
Tears came to the his eyes. That time, oh so many years ago...  Was
that real?  How did this fairy know about it?  Oh, that was awful!
His mind had been blocking it, and his heart had frozen from it.

The fairy continued, "Do memorials of your long-dead bride lie away in
some cabinet or trunk still treasured?  Her dainty gloves, her faded
roses, her bridal dress, please, let them plead for my son."

The Lord Chancellor could only stand there for a moment.  Then he
decided.  "It may not be. Let me inform you now, Phyllis is my
promised bride."

"Your bride?!?  No!"  Thunder burst from the fairy's fingers into the
ground, and she rose and flew backwards, landing on her feet.

The Lord Chancellor stepped back in fear, wondering if he was in any
danger.  How could a fairy possibly become so distressed?  But he held
firm.  Nobody and nothing would change his decision.  "It shall be so.
Woe to anyone who would separate us."

The fairy calmed down, and spoke in a steady tone.  "Yes, you have
spoken my doom."  The Lord Chancellor looked at her, puzzled,
confused, wondering.  He heard, or rather felt, faint voices piercing
through his head, proclaiming, "No!  Don't do it!  Forbear!"  The
pleas were aimed not at him, he knew, but at the fairy in front of
him.  "For my son, for Phyllis, and for you, I yield my life.  Do you
not recognize me?"  Her features cleared up and the veil vanished.
"I'm your wife."

The faint voices became wails of anguish, and he recognized her face,
a face back from forty years in the past.  "Iolanthe?"  His breath
caught, nausea swept over him, and he collapsed to the ground in a
near faint.  He kept repeating, "Iolanthe...  Iolanthe..." and was
only vaguely aware of fairies appearing around him and leading
Iolanthe away.

Someone roughly shook his shoulders.  He lifted his head up.  It was
that young man, Strephon.  Strephon was speaking, and he only just now
heard the words.  "Where's my mother?  Where is she?  What have you
done to her?"

He looked around and saw a crowd in the distance.  Iolanthe was
kneeling in front of the Fairy Queen.  He sprang up and ran faster
than he had ever since his days in college.  He heard the Fairy Queen
proclaim, "Thou shalt die." and saw her raise her arm and point her
finger at Iolanthe.  The Lord Chancellor grabbed a stone and threw it
as hard as he could.

The stone slammed into the Fairy Queen's head, and her thunderbolt
went wild.  "What?"  She immediately turned and zapped a bolt into the
Lord Chancellor's leg.  It burned like fire, and he collapsed again.
The Fairy Queen looked down at him.  "The Lord Chancellor again, I
perceive.  It's not wise to set yourself against the fairies -- you
surely know by now."

"I don't care," replied the Lord Chancellor, trying to ignore the
burning pain in his leg.  "Go ahead, kill me if you like. I'm past
caring how the fairies are offended."

One of the fairies flew down and stood between the Lord Chancellor and
the Fairy Queen.  "But I'm not offended."  She pointed at the Lord
Chancellor's leg and suddenly the pain was gone; the leg was made
whole.

Other fairies flew down and joined them.  "Offended?  Not I."  "Nor
I."  Eventually, all the fairies except Iolanthe and the Fairy Queen
herself, were arraigned between the Fairy Queen and the Lord
Chancellor.  "None of us are offended."  Iolanthe remained on her
knees, following the proceedings with an expression of astonishment.

The Fairy Queen finally spoke, after freezing in tongue-tied surprise.
"Offended?  Heaven forbid, of course We're not offended.  Why should
We be offended?  In fact, We admire you very much.  It's not often
that a mortal challenges the Fairy Queen.  Even less often does a
mortal save a fairy's life -- even if only temporarily.  Iolanthe made
a superb choice for a husband, I must say.  It is most unfortunate
that the law mandates death for any fairy who shall marry a mortal.
And it is Our most unpleasant duty to enforce that law."  She raised
her arm again to administer the sentence.

A fairy spoke out.  "Your Majesty, if Iolanthe must die, so must we
all.  For we have sinned as she has."

"What?" exclaimed the Fairy Queen.

"We are all fairy duchesses, marchionesses, countesses, viscountesses,
and baronesses."

"Good heavens!" she cried.  "You have all incurred death."  The Fairy
Queen paused, then pointed directly at one fairy near the back of the
crowd.  "No, all but you."

"No.  When I mentioned the Law, he simply refused to marry me."  She
gave an embarrassed giggle, and seemed a bit disappointed.

"Wise man, and honorable," commented the Fairy Queen.  She raised her
arms authoritatively.  "The rest of you have incurred death!"  She
lowered her arms.  "But I can't slaughter the whole lot of you."  She
sighed and brought out a scroll from buried in her robes.  "But the
law is clear.  `A fairy dies who shall marry a mortal.'"

The Lord Chancellor stood up.  "As an old Equity Draftsman, maybe I
can be of assistance." He went around the other fairies, and
approached the Fairy Queen with some trepidation.  The Fairy Queen
showed him the law.  "The subtleties of the legal mind are adequate to
the emergency.  The thing is really quite simple.  Only a single word
need be changed.  Let it stand that, `A fairy dies who don't marry a
mortal.'"

"We like your humor.  Very well."  She wrote in the scroll.  "And now,
We shall see you all momentarily.  We have some business to conduct --
and so do you."  She pointed sternly at the unmarried fairy.  They
both vanished.

The Lord Chancellor turned to Iolanthe, who jumped up and flew into
his arms.  "Aaron."  They kissed; the kiss lasted almost forever.
Finally, they broke apart.  They looked around.  Most of the fairies
had disappeared.  A few fairies remained.  Strephon and Phyllis were
there.

The Lord Chancellor turned to Strephon.  "Young Strephon.  You're my
son..."

"Mother only told us just yesterday.  I never knew."

"But there is the definite family resemblance," put in Phyllis.  "I
can see it, now that we know."

"I think we should return to Parliament.  Something's happening there,
or going to.  It sounded like the fairies have all married half the
House of Peers," said the Lord Chancellor.  "Shall we find out?"  They
all walked happily down to the Parliament.  "Oh, by the way.  You may
marry.  You have my consent."  Strephon and Phyllis jumped for joy.

Things were abuzz in the House of Peers.  The Lord Chancellor spotted
the Earls Mountararat and Tolloller; they both had fairies by their
sides.

The Fairy Queen was there; a soldier was by her side.  Iolanthe
giggled and commented, "Oh, so the Fairy Queen herself has not been
wholy innocent of these shenanegans."

The Fairy Queen overheard that remark, and replied with a smirk,
"True, my dear, but I never acted on those desires until the law
required me to."  She turned back to the soldier and continued what
she was saying before.  "I'll make you a fairy now.  Then you won't be
subject to your commander's discipline."  The soldier jumped, and
wings sprouted from his back.  The Fairy Queen then spoke out to the
rest of the hall.  "What say you, my Lords?  Will you join our ranks?"

All the fairies begged the Peers to do so, and Mountararat commented,
"Well, now that the Peers are to be recruited entirely from persons of
intellect, I really dont see what use we are down here, do you,
Tolloller?"

"None, whatever."  Wings sprang from the Peers' backs, and everyone,
including Phyllis and Strephon, became a full fairy.  The Lord
Chancellor felt strange.  He felt younger, lighter, and more sprightly
than ever before, at least the past quarter-century.

"Then off we go to Fairyland!" exclaimed the Fairy Queen.  Everyone
flew off.

The Lord Chancellor experimented a little.  Yes, he could fly, albeit
rather clumsily for now.  But he'd get better.  Iolanthe, Strephon,
and Phyllis remained with him.  "So what do we do now?"

"Pretty much anything you want.  Fairies live anarchicly, pretty
much," answered Iolanthe.

"Actually, I would like to visit my mother.  I haven't seen her for a
couple years, not since my father's funeral."

 ***********************************************************

On the country estate, Aaron's mother sat in her wheelchair, in the
middle of a garden.  The garden was surrounded by stone walls, and she
was alone with her thoughts.  She had not long to live, she knew.  Her
son was the only remaining member of her family, and she hoped she
would be able to see him once more at least before she died.  It was
very unlikely, she felt.  He was married to his work.  Had been all
his adult life.  He'd learned it from his father, after that period in
college when he went away.

When she thought about that episode now, she did not think her son so
bad for running off and eloping with that young bride.  She wondered
what the girl had been like.  If only she had lived.  Her son would
have turned out a whole lot better, in her opinion.

Sometimes, she imagined her son calling to her.  Like just now, for
example.  But it was always in her imagination.  But it came again,
"Mother."  She turned her head around, and saw four people. One was
her son, or a young-looking version of her son.  Then there was a
young man, and two young maidens, all coming toward her in the garden.
"Aaron!"  Is that really you?  How did you get here?"

"I flew.  Mother, it's a long story.  Allow me to present my wife
Iolanthe, my son Strephon, and his wife Phyllis."  Aaron's mother was
utterly speechless.  Everyone bent low to kiss her cheek.  "Remember
when I was in College, that time?"

"Of course.  That was not so bad; I only wish your young wife had
lived, and that you brought her home to me."

They tried their best to tell the story.  Everyone brought everyone
else up to day on the past forty years of life.

   The END
