 Copyright 1999 by MichaelD38@aol.com

 DILBERT GETS LUCKY


 I.

	"This is it, Dogbert," Dilbert said.  "At last
 I have the means to make women treat me with some
 respect."
	The rotund mutt examined the apparatus on the
 table and shook his head.
	"This reminds me of your cloning experiment.
 Remember how that turned out?"
	"This is a much simpler process.  With this, I
 can take control of their minds and turn them to putty
 in my hands."
	"I don't know.  Certain elements of nature
 should not be tampered with.  I think your sex appeal
 is one of them."
	"Just wait and see.  This will make me the most
 desirable man on earth."
	Dilbert lifted his contraption, which resembled
 a metal colander with numerous wires and electrodes
 sticking out in random directions, and set it on his
 head.  He threw a switch on one side and felt the
 energy coursing through it.
	The doorbell rang.  Dilbert ran to the window
 to see who it was.
	"We're in luck, Dogbert!  It's that girl from
 down the street.  Now is the time to put my invention
 to the test."
	Dilbert put the device on his head and opened
 the door.  Behind it he found Kimberly O'Connor, a
 girl who lived a few doors down from him.  Kimberly
 was seventeen, a senior at the local high school and
 captain of the cheerleading squad.  Dilbert ran his
 eyes over her blonde hair and enormous breasts,
 fighting an urge to drool.
	Kimberly returned his gaze warily.
	"Uh, hi.  I'm selling magazines for the cheer-
 leading squad and . . ."  Her eyebrows rose.  "Why do
 you have a colander on your head?"
	Dilbert ignored her, concentrating on sending
 his mental commands into her brain.
	*Come into my house* he thought.
	Kimberly's eyes glazed over, and she walked
 into the foyer.  Dilbert shut the door behind her.
	"It works!" he exclaimed.
	Dogbert shook his head again.
	"This will end in disaster, mark my words."
	*Remove your clothes* Dilbert thought.  Kimberly
 began stripping out of her cheerleading uniform.  He
 watched, heart thumping in anticipation, as she exposed
 herself to him.  Her breasts stood out from her chest
 like two great battering rams, nipples the size of
 peanuts, erect and throbbing.  She slipped off her
 skirt, then her panties, revealing a narrow bush of
 blonde pubes.  A moment later she was naked.
	Dilbert examined her firm teenage body for a
 few seconds before sitting down in his La-Z-Boy.
	*Give me a blow-job* Dilbert thought.
	Kimberly turned to him, face blank, and knelt
 on the floor.  Dilbert closed his eyes as she lowered
 her head and began bobbing up and down.  Then Dilbert
 realized something was wrong.
	He opened his eyes, realizing that Kimberly was
 attempting to fellate the curled-up end of his tie.
	"Damn it.  Something is wrong here."
	*Um . . . wait* he thought.  Kimberly looked
 up in confusion.  It had been so long since Dilbert
 had had sex that he wasn't sure what to do next.
	*Bend over the back of the couch* he thought.
	Kimberly stood up and walked behind his couch.
 She bent over the back, sticking her firm butt into
 the air.  Dilbert stood up and went behind her.  He
 dropped his trousers and freed his miniscule dick.
 He examined Kimberly's rear view for a moment, trying
 to remember where it was supposed to go.
	He found the entrance to her pussy and tried
 to thrust in.  He got about half an inch into her
 before the lack of lubrication stopped him.
	"Uh . . . shit.  Okay."  Things were coming
 back to him now.
	*You are very horny* he thought.  *You want me
 to have sex with you*
	Kimberly moaned softly, pushing her butt back
 at him.  He tried to thrust into her, getting a little
 further in as she began to warm up.  In about ten or
 fifteen seconds, she had lubricated enough for him to
 get in up to the hilt.
	Three thrusts later, he squirted off inside her.
 Dogbert shook his head again as Dilbert withdrew.
	"Did it occur to you at all that you might be
 getting her pregnant?"
	"Er, no.  Shit."
	*Um, okay* he thought. *You will not get preg-
 nant*  Would that work?  Maybe not.  Kimberly stood
 up, looking at him in confusion again.
	"What should I do?" he asked Dogbert.
	"You're asking me?"
	He looked back at Kimberly.
	"Uh, you can get dressed and go.  Don't tell
 anyone about this."
	The blank look on her face dissolved, and she
 looked down at herself in shock.
	"What the fuck?"
	"Oops," Dilbert said.
	*Get dressed and go back to what you were doing*
 he thought.  *Forget all about this*
	Her eyes glazed over again, and she began get-
 ting dressed.  She gathered up her magazine materials
 and left.  Dilbert watched her leave.
	"Whew."
