
THE MEASURE OF MAN

An Epic by Gil Gamesh

Chapter Fifty-Five


As for you, Gilgamesh, fill your belly with good things; day and night, night and day, dance and be merry, feast and rejoice. Let your clothes be fresh, bathe yourself in water, cherish the little child that holds your hand, and make your wife happy in your embrace; for this too is the measure of man.


CAST OF CHARACTERS:
Stuart Andersen, 29; Joanne Andersen, 26; Paul Andersen, 4; Kieran Lee Andersen, 4 months

Kerry Stuart, 12 (almost 13)

TELLING THE STORY
Kerry Stuart

<><><>

(KERRY)

I hope Dad believed me. I knew he was just kidding like he always does. He asked me if I had arranged for Stuart to invite me over for the weekend so I wouldn’t have to help plant stuff on the new lot he had bought. I told him I had not and that it was Stuart’s idea. I worked hard planting things with him and Mom Saturday morning. I really did enjoy it and I told him I did before I left. 

Stuart came after me a little after lunch. He had little Paul with him and I played with him while Dad showed Stuart around the new lot and explained what he had planned. Mom stood and watched while I chased little Paul around her. He squealed and laughed each time I almost caught him.

On the way back, I asked Stuart if he’d give me a driving lesson at the Freeloft center. He asked me if Mom and Dad would approve and I told him about Dad letting me drive his Mercedes. He was driving the mini-van he and Joanne had bought after they moved. He said he’d show me how to drive his little sport-car, the little convertible he used to go to work, but I had to be careful shifting gears and using the clutch. His little car was almost as old as me but he loved it and didn’t want another one. That was the one I wanted to drive anyway. Arial’s little Beamer had a clutch too but she wouldn’t let me drive it yet.

Joanne was in the great room of the new part of their house when we got there. She was nursing Kieran Lee and listening to classical music. She liked to play stuff like that when he was nursing because she said it made him relax and nurse better. I’d seen her nurse him a few times and she didn’t mind if I watched. I thought it was something beautiful to see and I always told her that. I walked over and stood looking down at Kieran Lee just sucking away. His eyes were open and he was waving his free arm around but he never turned loose of the nipple. He just kept sucking and slurping. I guess that’s why Joanne sometimes called him little piggy. He was already a big boy. It was hard to believe he could grow so fast.

Stuart put his arm around my shoulder and we both stood and watched. Then little Paul tried to climb Stuart’s leg so Stuart picked him up and we all three watched. Stuart decided to tease me like he always does. 

“Paul, tell Kieran Lee to leave some milk for uncle Kerry,” he said. “I’ll bet he’d like some too.”

Little Paul didn’t like that. He started saying something and I finally figured out he wanted his Mom’s milk for his brother and for himself and he didn’t want me to have any.

“Has he had any since Kieran Lee was born?” I asked.

“Yes, he’s asked for it a couple of times,” Joanne said, looking up at Stuart. “Stuart said I could let him have some if I’d just save him some too.”

I looked at Stuart and little Paul. Stuart was grinning like he’d been caught doing something naughty. Little Paul was trying to stick his fist in his mouth again. I caught his arm and pulled his hand out of his mouth. He was still teething and everything went in his mouth.

“Did you like Mommy’s milk?” I asked. I was looking at little Paul when I said it. Stuart knew who I meant. 

Stuart said, “Paul, say ‘Yeah, Unca Kerry, I like it.’” I knew who he meant.

“Well, none of you can have any until Kieran Lee gets all he wants,” Joanne said.

She changed Kieran Lee to the other breast. He let out a squawk and then cut it off when he felt the nipple against his cheek. He nuzzled around until he got it in his mouth and then started slurping like a little pig again. I saw a drop of white milk ooze out of the nipple where he’d just been sucking. Joanne pulled her nursing bra back over that breast and then looked up at me.

“Stuart, why don’t you show Kerry what’s been done in the old house? I don’t think we had the big bathroom finished the last time he was here.”

“You’re probably right,” Stuart said. “That part of the renovation was a mess, especially when they were doing the floor.”

“What was wrong with the floor?” I asked. “I thought you wanted to keep all the old wood floors if you could.”

“Yeah, we did, but we wanted the big bathroom downstairs to be tiled. Plus, we didn’t think the old joists would support everything we wanted. We replaced some of the joists and added extra support under the bathroom. It’s all tight and solid now.”  

Stuart led the way to the breezeway from the new house to the old house. There were sliding patio doors, double doors, on both sides of the breezeway. Both sides were open except for the screens. He slid back the screen and we went out.

The old stone house was just a two-story rectangle set on the crest of the hill with the main entry in the middle of one long side. The main part of the new addition was roughly a one-story square, connected at one corner by a breezeway to the old house. In the open triangle between them on one side, where there were a couple of huge old trees, Stuart had told me they would have a patio. In the open triangle on the other side, the two old trees were in bad shape so they’d been removed. He said that was where they were going to put the pool.

“Let me show you something,” Stuart said, and led the way to the area where the patio was going to be. He walked over to the pile of stone from the old quarry down near the river.

“We had more rock quarried than we needed for the new house,” he said. “We’re going to use these for the patio area. We’ll extend the patio to the edge of the level area and then put up a low wall. It’ll make a great play area for the boys. I can sit on the wall and watch them.”
  
He looked at the rocks for a minute or so until the found the one he wanted.

“Look at this,” he said. “It’s a fossil of some kind, some kind of plant.”

I looked at the imprint of what could have been a cattail - a couple of leaves and then the center spike with the cattail smashed flat. It looked just like the ones that grew in the swampy area on the south side of the Freeloft property.

“Is it OK if I walk down the river with a couple of friends to the quarry?” I asked. “I’d like to see what was done in getting rocks for the new house. We found a few fossils there before your Mom bought the property and I’ll bet we’ll find some more with the new rock being dug out.”

“Sure. Maybe I’ll go with you. Would you like me to pick you and your friends up some Saturday?”

“Maybe. It’s an easy walk though. We walk down the creek behind our house to where it runs into the river. That’s a good fishing spot. From there to the Freeloft property is just a mile or so. It’s easy walking too until you get close to your property.”
 
“Kavan’s going to do the patio for us,” Stuart said. “I’m using him as the contractor and he’s going to hire a crew of school kids. I’ve given him a free hand to do whatever he wants to as long as he doesn’t do anything to hurt the old trees. We want them to stay there for another fifty years.”

“Yeah, he’s been reading all sorts of stuff and getting ideas. Arial and I are going to help him do a plan on the computer so he can present it to you. He’s really enthusiastic about it. He loves that sort of stuff. He says he might like to be a landscape contractor or something like that someday.”

“You think you could work for him this summer?”

“Sure. He and I get along fine. He’s always solid and levelheaded except when it comes to Kathryn and love and stuff like that. I wouldn’t be much good moving those big rocks though.”

“Well, just think about it, Kerry,” he said. “You don’t always have to have muscle to do things. I use a dolly and a steel pipe for a lever and that works fine. I’m going to have lots of work to do around here for the next year of so. Some of it will be hard manual labor. I’m going to get a bob cat and a small tractor to use to clear some areas. You could learn to handle both of them. Maybe Kavan could learn to handle a crew of kids and see whether he really wants to be his own boss.”

“He’ll do a good job for you,” I said. “Once he sets his mind to something, he won’t stop until it’s done right. That’s just the way he is.”

“That’s what your Dad says. Anyway, I’d love to have you and him around. It’s nice having two brothers and another sister. You know you’re welcome here anytime, don’t you?”

“Yeah. I’ll try not to drive Joanne crazy and wear out my welcome.”

“You won’t. She likes you too. Come on; let’s look at what’s been done in the old house.”

Stuart showed me the bathroom they’d put in on the lower floor of the old house. It was a huge room with tiled floor and walls about the same color as the rock quarried on the property. Through a door on one side, there was a sauna with what looked like redwood walls and ceiling and floor. Next to it, there was an enclosed shower almost as big as the one in our basement. Under a big window there was a Jacuzzi that looked like it would float a battleship. There were two enclosed commodes, two big sinks, and two urinals, one down low for little boys. And in the middle of it all, there was a long wooden bench to sit down. 

“Damn, Stuart, you could put a big crowd in here. What do you need all this for?”

“That’s not all, Kerry. We’ve got three bedrooms upstairs and four down. Each one has a small toilet of its own. Mom’s bedroom is the only one with its own shower. Mom likes to have people around. She’s the one who suggested Luke and Rachael stay with us. Paul and Adrianna got along great last August. They’ll have lots of fun with each other.”

“Well, Mom and Dad are going to get Rachael and the kids and bring them back some time this month. Luke’s driving back with the movers. Where are you putting them?”

“They’ll be on the bottom floor with us. Mom loves kids but she wants the top floor for herself and her guests. Luke’s going to put some of their stuff in storage at the Freeloft Center. They’ll have two bedrooms just like the ones Joanne and I have. Come on; let me show you our rooms.”

“I’ll bet you and Joanne could have lots of fun playing with Luke and Rachael too. Of course, you haven’t thought of that, have you?” I asked.

“Would you like me to invite you over some weekend after they’re settled in? You can baby sit for all of us while we play.”

“Shit! No way, Jose! I like kids but I couldn’t handle four at one time.”

“Seriously, Kerry, what do you think? Joanne and I have talked a lot about what we want to do now that Kieran Lee’s not driving her crazy. We need to enjoy life a little more. We could invite you and Kavan and Kathryn, if she’s still here.”

“How about Arial and Brad?”

“I don’t know. It might be kind of awkward to have Arial’s old love and her new one playing with us at the same time. That’s something we’ll have to think about a little.”

“You’d better think a lot. I don’t know whether Brad even knows about Luke.”

“Yeah, well, come on; let me show you the bedrooms.”

“I’ve never been in a sauna before,” I said. “Do you think we could use it tonight?”  

“Sure. A sauna’s better in cold weather but maybe you and I and Joanne can get in there before we go to bed. I usually try to get Paul to bed while Joanne’s giving Kieran Lee his bedtime feeding. If we’re lucky, we’ll get five or six hours of sleep before he wants it again.”

Stuart showed me their big bedroom and the smaller room for little Paul and Kieran Lee. I tried to remember how the old house was laid out before the renovation but I couldn’t remember exactly how it was. Now they had a small bath with a commode and sink off their bedroom and lots of closet space and I couldn’t see where it had all come from.

Their bedroom had all sorts of oriental-looking furniture and artwork in it. Opposite the door, there was a king-size bed that was maybe a foot and a half off the floor and I couldn’t see anything holding it up. I looked at some of the pictures and they looked like Japanese or Chinese men and women. 

“Those are wood-block prints that Mom bought in Japan,” Stuart said. “Joanne likes them. Mom says they’re very valuable but they don’t do much for me.”

“Me either,” I said. I stood looking around trying to see how they’d turned all of the old farmhouse into bedrooms.

“Why did you design it like this, with small bathrooms for each room and one big bath for everybody?” I asked. “And where did the closets come from? The old house had huge rooms but it didn’t have any closets.”

“Yeah, that was a real problem. The architect said the old inside walls were load-bearing and advised us not to try to move them. We just cut off part of some rooms for the small baths and closets. The big bath is where the kitchen used to be. The upstairs layout is about like it is down here except that Mom’s bedroom area is twice as big.”

“Mr. Jack’s staying here now, isn’t he?” I asked. “Where does he sleep?”

“With Mom. What’s the matter? Are you jealous?”

“Yeah, I guess so. But if she loves him it’s OK with me. He’d better be good to her.”

“You remember where you slept the night Kieran Lee was born?”

“Yeah.” I remembered. I didn’t know whether he knew or not.

“Where?”

I just looked at him and didn’t say anything.

“I came home for a few minutes during the night,” he said. “I saw where you were sleeping. You were spooned up to Mom. Were you good to her?”

“She didn’t complain, did she?”

“No, she didn’t,” he said. “She said you made her feel like a teen-ager again.” 

“Shit, Stuart, I didn’t know what I was doing. I just wanted her to be happy.”

“Well, you helped with that,” he said. “I couldn’t believe it when she told me what she’d done with your family.”

“Where is she? I saw Mr. Jack’s car outside but I haven’t seen either one of them.”

“They’re upstairs. I think they’re taking a nap. They’re going out for dinner and dancing tonight. That business women’s group she’s in is having a black-tie evening. They’ll probably be out late.”

We went down the hallway to the other end of the ground floor to see where Luke and Rachael and their kids would be. It was a mirror image of Stuart and Joanne’s rooms except that the rooms were empty.

We went back to the new house and into Stuart’s office. He had computers and all sorts of equipment and books everywhere. He stretched out in his recliner and I took the computer chair. I spun around in it once and then caught myself before Stuart could fuss at me.

 “How are you doing on your statistics work?” Stuart asked. “Do you think you understand it well enough to use a computer program to do the computational processes?”

“I’m OK. I’ve got a teacher at school helping me. I got stuck a couple of times and he helped me understand it. Can I input the data on my computer at home?”

“Yeah, that’s what I planned on you doing. Is it OK if I give you a little pop quiz?”

“Sure.”

“In addition to height, what else about a man’s body could be measured in constructing a frequency distribution?”

I didn’t have to think long. Something popped in my head. 

“Well, if I can get, say, a thousand guys to cooperate, it’s the length of our dicks.”

“I was thinking about weight. Do you think measurement of dicks would yield a normal distribution, you know, a bell-shaped curve?”

“Yeah, sure you were. Let’s accept that as a working hypothesis. We’ll have to measure a lot of dicks to reach a conclusion.”

“If the mean length of dicks is six inches and one standard deviation from the mean is one inch, what’s the percentage of guys with a dick between five and seven inches long?”

“About two-thirds?”

“Come on, Kerry, you tell me! Exactly! I know you know it. And quit spinning around in the chair.”

I didn’t even realize I was doing it. “It’s sixty-eight point two seven percent.”

“If your dick is two standard deviations from the mean, what’s the percentage of guys with a dick longer than yours?”

“Five.”

“Nope. Think!”

I spun the chair around once and then sat there and thought for a minute or so. I shut my eyes, visualized a bell-shaped curve, and went over the basics. When I opened my eyes, Stuart was grinning at me.

“OK, assuming you meant plus two standard deviations, it’s about two and a half percent. If you meant minus two standard deviations, it’s about ninety-seven and a half percent. I was wrong ‘cause I was including both plus and minus deviations.”

“That’s right. Five percent includes guys with dicks less than four inches and guys with more than eight inches. If your dick is plus three standard deviations, what does that mean?”

“I get all the girls.” I spun around in the chair once, looked at him, and grinned. He shook his head and grinned back at me. 

“Why?” he asked.

“If it’s a thousand guys in the population, I’ve got the biggest dick. I’ve got a mean nine fucking inches.”

“Are you sure? Plus or minus three standard deviations includes ninety-nine point seven percent of the population. Couldn’t you have a couple of guys with bigger dicks?”

“Nope!”

“Why not?”

“Well, ninety-nine point seven includes all guys with dicks up to three standard deviations longer and down to three shorter than the mean. So point three percent includes guys with dicks more than three deviations shorter than the mean plus more than three deviations longer. So there are three guys with either little bitty dicks or real horse cocks. I don’t have a little bitty dick.”

“If I told you the correlation coefficient between how tall guys are and the length of their dicks is point nine zero, what does that mean?”

“I want to grow up to be real tall.” I spun around in the chair again.

“Come on, Kerry!”

“It means there’s a very strong correlation between a guy’s height and the length of his dick. Bigger guys have bigger dicks.”

“Do you think the correlation’s really that strong?”

“Shit, who knows? I haven’t seen enough dicks to form a hypothesis.”

“I haven’t either but I don’t think it’s that strong. Kavan’s dick is bigger than the mean. Do you know how many standard deviations?”

“He and Dad are about the same, close to seven and a half inches. That’s plus one and a half deviations.”

“Mine’s about the same as Kavan’s and your Dad’s. How big is yours now?”

“Just a cunt hair under six inches. Why don’t you call him your Dad?”

“Because Paul was my real Dad and always will be. How big is your dick going to be?”

“Oh, about eight inches if I keep pulling it. Maybe longer.”

“Shit, Kerry, be serious. What can you say about the probability that your dick will be longer than average?”

“Well, me and you and Kavan carry some of the same genes as Dad. Genes determine lots of things about our bodies - like hair color and height and build. I’m just like Dad in all those and so are you. I’d say the probability is pretty high I’ll have a dick like his.”

“OK, I guess you pass. Just don’t go showing off at school with any of this.”

“I won’t. Most kids wouldn’t know what we’re talking about, anyway.”

“I’m trying to come up with another assignment for you. Are you ready for it?”

“Yeah, but I can’t work on it until after school’s out. I’ve got to concentrate on school work for the next few weeks.”

“Are you still going to make all A’s?”

“Yeah. What sort of assignment is it?”

“I want you to do some reading on sampling.”

“Sampling what?”

“Oh, lots of different things. What percentage of the girls in your school loses their virginity at fifteen? What percentage at sixteen? That sort of thing.”

“I’d like to raise the percentage for fifteen year old ones a little.”

“Yeah, me too. How do you think we could find out?”

“Well, we can’t ask all of them; that’s for sure.”

“We don’t need to. Suppose you asked ten girls and found out that five were still virgins. What would that tell you?”

“Shit, Stuart, there’s over six hundred girls in my school. Would that mean about half of them are still virgins?”

“If you take a sample, what sort of conclusion can you reach about all the girls?”

“I think I’d conclude I’d better get busy. I think I’d better quit studying and start fucking.”

“Yeah, dream on, Squirt. Do you think we might be able to reach a conclusion about the population, that’s all the girls, just by asking ten percent, that’s sixty girls?”

“I know where you’re leading me. You don’t really have to ask all of them to reach a conclusion; you just take a sample.”

“That’s right, Kerry. A sample won’t give you an answer with absolute certainty. But it can give you an answer like three hundred plus or minus maybe five percent. That’s what sampling can do for you. It saves you a lot of work, finding out if girls have already been dicked.”

“I wouldn’t mind that kind of work.”

“Me either. What if we wanted to reach a conclusion about all the high schools in the state, say one thousand of them? Would our sample have to be one thousand times as big?”

“You’re leading me again, aren’t you? You want me to say yes so the answer must be no. Maybe it only needs to be ten times a big.”

“You’re right. You read up on sampling and we’ll work on it whenever you’re ready. Now swap chairs with me.”

I got in his recliner and stretched out. He sat down in the computer chair, closed his eyes, and spun around a few times. Finally he opened his eyes, took a couple of deep breaths, and smiled at me.

“Stuart, did you ever see the movie Forrest Gump?” I asked.

“Yeah, I liked it.” He spun around once more.

“Do you remember when he started doing his walk about?”

“Yeah but I never could understand why he did it.” He spun around again. 

“Sometimes I wish I could do a walkabout like that. Just go off and see everything and not have to worry about stuff.”

“Yeah, me too,” Stuart said. “I wish we could do it together.” He spun around a couple of times.

“Yeah, damn school! Fuck it!” I said. I was grinning and I didn’t really mean it.

I looked at him and saw he was grinning too. We both knew we couldn’t do it. I would have liked to do a walk-about with him.

“Yeah, damn work! Fuck it!” he said. He spun around once and then stood up. He held out his hand to me. I took it, he pulled me up, and we swapped chairs again.

“Maybe someday,” I said and he nodded.

“I’ve got us some nice steaks for dinner,” he said. “How do you like yours? Just don’t say well done.”

“I like mine big and bloody. Just singe its ass and throw it on my plate.”

“Sorry. Joanne’s a little squeamish about that. You’ll have to settle for medium rare, like mine.”

“Just don’t do it well done and I’ll eat it.”

“OK, I’ll fire up the grill about six. We like to eat early enough to go for a walk afterwards. Paul loves to explore the woods around here. We’ll bathe the kids and put them down about nine. Then we can get in the sauna before we go to bed if you want to. Now let me show you some stuff I’m working on.”

“You never did tell me where I’m going to sleep. I left my stuff in the big room. I’ll get it and put it away.”

“Well, I thought you might like to sleep with us.”

That was a surprise. “Are you kidding? What’s Joanne going to say about it?”

“She thinks it would be fun. We’d have asked you before now but she’s had her hands full with Kieran Lee.”

“Do you mean what I think you mean? You’re saying we might play around a little before we go to sleep?”

“That’s exactly what I mean, Kerry. Joanne and I had a lot of fun playing with everybody last August. I don’t think we’ve ever had more fun than we did that night we slept in the haunted house.”

“Yeah, I liked that. I enjoyed being ravished. What are we going to do?”

“Well, tell Joanne you liked it. We don’t have any specific plans and anything is probably OK. We’ve talked about it and decided we’ll all just play and have fun.”

“You really don’t mind if I do it with Joanne?”

“You’re not going to try to steal her away from me, are you?”

I decided to tease him for a change. “Yeah! After I make love to her, she won’t be satisfied with you anymore.”

“Well, I’ll just have to take that chance, Stud. Seriously, I want us both to be good to Joanne. She’s still in baby-mode and she likes lovemaking to be slow and gentle. Just try to let her take the lead and then make sure you do your best to please her.”

“Do you ever talk to Dad about me, I mean, about some of the sex stuff I’ve done?” I asked.

“I talk to him a lot, Kerry. Joanne and I kind of like the way your Dad and Mom have raised you. We’re trying to decide whether we can raise our two boys the way you’ve been raised.”

“You didn’t answer my question,” I said. 

“He doesn’t get into specifics in anything you and Arial and Kavan have done. He told me about the weekend all of you spent at the cabin in February. He said you kids convinced him and Siobhan to quit being parents and just be kids again and you all had a lot of fun. If it was like the week we were there last August, I’ll bet it was fun. That’s the sort of thing Joanne and I’d like to do.”

“Well, why haven’t you?”

“Kerry, it’s not easy on a woman to carry a child. Joanne’s a great mother. She makes sure she does everything she can to have a good healthy baby. We’ve been thinking more about having a baby than we have about having fun.”

“Do you have to stop having sex after the baby gets big?”

“No, not really, you just have to be more considerate of a woman. Don’t expect a blowjob when she’s got a touch of morning sickness unless you want to get puked on – that sort of thing. A woman doesn’t want her legs bent back over my shoulders when she’s got a big belly. Joanne likes it when I’m spooned up to her with ‘bout half my dick in her. A lot of it’s just common sense. Sex doesn’t have to stop; you just have to do what she wants to do.”

“Do you like it then?”

“Yeah, sure, I really do. It’s always good with her. When she’s pregnant, I know it’s my baby too. She’s the one carrying the baby but it’s something we both care for. Gentle slow sex is great too, Kerry.”

“Did your Dad ever tell you about what he and your Mom did with my Dad, you know, so your Mom could have you?”

“Yeah, he told me. Once I got over the shock, after I decided he would always be my Dad, even if Kieran is my biological father, we talked a lot. I think he got a kick out of remembering what he and Mom had done with your Dad and telling me about it.”

“Well, do you ever talk with my Dad about it? I wonder sometimes how he felt when he was just sixteen and already a father.”

“We’ve talked about it lots of times. Just a few weeks ago, he was telling me about some of the things he learned from Mom and Dad, especially their attitude toward sex. I asked him how he’d feel if I invited you to fool around with me and Joanne like that.” 

“What did he say?”

“He just said it was OK, just to be sure to teach you the things that will make you into a good man and a good husband someday.”    

“What were you like when you were a teenager? Did you screw around a lot?”

“Yeah, I was pretty wild. I looked a lot like you and the girls in Oregon were pretty free with their favors. I got my first blowjob when I was twelve and my first fuck when I was fourteen. I helped a few girls give up their virginity, especially in high school. Now can I ask you a question?”

“May I?”

“OK, I’ll say ‘May I?’ but I’m going to start correcting your grammar too.”

“‘Can I?’ is OK then.”

“Did Kavan ever tell you what we did when we were at the cabin last August?”

“No, but I know you and Joanne spent a night with him and Kathryn. I don’t think you were playing Rook. What did you do?”

“Kavan was trying to teach me something – something you guys have already learned.”

“What?”

“Not to be so fucking afraid of touching another guy. To quit being so damned homophobic, if that’s the right word.”

“What do you mean? Are you afraid of homosexuals? Lots of guys are afraid of being called a homosexual.”

“No. I just mean afraid of any sort of physical intimacy between guys. It was something that happened last August. Kavan saw how uncomfortable I was when your Dad hugged me when we were both naked – it was right after we came back from running, me and him and Kavan. You came in the kitchen naked and Kieran hugged you. Then he hugged me.”

“So what? Dad’s a hugger. He hugs all of us and it doesn’t make any difference whether we’ve got clothes on or not. It’s not about sex; it’s about love.”

“Well, I wasn’t used to being hugged by a guy, especially with both of us naked. Kavan picked up on it and tried to get me to relax. When we were at the cabin, Joanne and I were playing with him and Kathryn and he did something that’s about as intimate as two guys can get.”

“Shit, I don’t think either of you fucked the other so I’m guessing he sucked your dick. Did he?”

“Yeah. They tied me down and blindfolded me. Then they all three went down on me. I thought it was just Joanne and Kathryn.”

“Well, how did you feel about it?”

“Panicked, at least for a minute or so. Then I thought about why he’d done it. He’d been telling how he’d grown up, I mean, being relaxed about being touched by another guy, like when you’re playing king of the creek.  I asked him about it once and he just smiled and said the devil made him do it. He said doing something homosexual was about as drastic as anything he could think of to make me quit being homophobic. I guess it was.”

“Damn, I don’t think he’s ever done anything like that before.”

“He said he hadn’t. I hadn’t either so we tied him up and the three of us sucked his dick. Except he wasn’t blindfolded and he saw me do it.”

“It didn’t make you queer after all, did it?”

“Nope. It just made everything easier after that. I didn’t have any real trouble eating stuffed pussy.”

“What’s that?”

“You don’t know?”

“Uh, uh.”

“It’s going down on a woman when she’d got a dick in her pussy. Want to try it tonight? I’ll do it if you will.”

“Fuck, yeah, I’ll try anything, Stuart. Except bend over and let you fuck me in the ass.”

“Don’t worry, Kerry. I’m not into little boys. Girls turn me on, not guys. I like you but not that way.”

“Stuart, did you and Joanne ever do anything with anybody else before you moved here, you know, stuff like we did last August at the cabin?”

“No, not really, not after we married. I met Joanne my last year in college and we got married while I was in grad school. I calmed down a lot then, maybe too much. I think I paid too much attention to getting my doctorate and not enough to my wife. I’m doing my best to put her first in my life again. That’s the sort of thing I talk to Kieran about, how to make a really good marriage. I’d like mine to be like his.”

“Yeah, I hope mine is too. Mom and Dad seem like they really love each other. Do you think Mom’s beautiful?’

“Yes, Kerry, she is. She’s unusual. That red hair of hers is really something. Some women might not like to have freckles on their cheeks and nose and forehead but they’re part of her beauty. And then the stuff most people never see, boy, the first time I saw her naked, I couldn’t believe it. Later, I told Kieran he was a lucky son of a bitch and he just smiled and said he thought so too.”

“I like to look at her face when she doesn’t know I’m watching her,” I said. “She almost always looks happy and that just makes her more beautiful.”

“I know what you mean,” Stuart said. “A couple of days after I first met her, I was watching her, looking at her face, thinking about how beautiful she was, and she looked up and caught me. Her eyes lit up and she got just a little bit of a smile and then she puckered up her lips and acted like she was throwing me a kiss. It was really something.”

“Do you...” I started, and Stuart cut me off.

“Kerry, are you going to keep asking me questions or are we going to get to work?”

“OK, we’ll work. But don’t forget you’re going to show me how to eat a stuffed pussy tonight.”

We worked together for a couple of hours on his research. He explained what he was trying to do and I understood some of it. He asked me to replicate some stuff he’d done, entering it into the program on his computer. We came up with the same results and he seemed pleased that he’d done it right. He wasn’t fooling me. He knew he’d done it right. He just wanted to see if I could.

Joanne nursed Kieran Lee again just before we ate so he’d be peaceful and let her enjoy her dinner. I offered to help Stuart but he said I would be enough help if I just kept little Paul out of trouble. I picked him up and we watched Kieran Lee getting his dinner for a few minutes. Then I carried him outside and we watched Stuart grill the steaks.

When we ate, I put little Paul in his high chair next to me so I could help him. He wanted me to cut up his steak and then he tried to use his fork. Sometimes he got it in his mouth that way; sometimes he just used his fat little hand.

Mr. Jack and Ms. Lauren came in the kitchen while we were eating. He was in a tuxedo and she was in an evening gown, and, boy, they were really something to look at. Mr. Jack’s salt and pepper beard was short and neat but his hair was still long and combed back. He was tall, probably taller than Dad, and just as slim. He looked like some character out of an old movie. Ms. Lauren was just as elegant. She looked taller and I saw she had on what Mom calls medium heels. Her gown looked pretty damn expensive and it was perfect on her.  

I told Mr. Jack I wished I had a tux and could take Ms. Lauren dancing. He said he heard I’d already danced with her. I wasn’t sure whether he really meant dancing since I didn’t know what Ms. Lauren had told him. I just said I liked dancing, especially with her. He said maybe they could rent me a tux and then let me go with them the next time they went. After they left, Joanne asked me whether I would really like to go to a dance like that or whether I was just being nice. I didn’t have to think about it; I told her I’d love to get a tux and go dancing if I could get me a girl or borrow somebody else’s.

After we cleaned the kitchen, we all went for a walk in the woods. Stuart put Kieran Lee in his papoose carrier and little Paul walked most of the way by himself. Stuart was clearing a trail that looped around the crest of the hill. Part of the trail followed an old roadbed and it was easy walking. When little Paul got tired, I carried him for a while and then Joanne took a turn.

When we got back to the house, we all went in the great room of the new house. The evening sun was pouring in through the window wall. I knew the glass was treated to keep out the heat and the glare but the room was almost too warm and too bright. Stuart had showed me how to use the control system to adjust everything and he handed me the remote. I guess he thought I was going to play with it but I fooled him. I lowered the blinds right the first time and adjusted them to cut out most of the light. Then I turned on the ceiling fans and set them to low. When I handed the remote back, he just nodded and smiled.

In front of the stone fireplace, there were two big leather couches facing each other, separated by an oriental rug with a big coffee table on it. Stuart and I moved the table so little Paul would have room to play. Joanne sat down on one of the couches and put Kieran Lee down on the cushion beside her. Stuart and I took the other couch and little Paul started running around and yelling. We all just sat and watched him for a while.

When he came to me saying “Naky time,” trying to take off his shirt, I looked at Joanne and she nodded. I pulled his shirt up and off, sat him in my lap while I took off his sneakers and socks, then stood him up and pulled his shorts and briefs off. He grabbed my hand and started saying, “You too, Unca Kerry.”

I looked at Joanne again and she just smiled and nodded again. I hadn’t seen her naked since last fall, before the baby started making her belly big. We’d already started being nudies around our house again now that the weather was warm. I didn’t know whether the Andersens were going to be nudists too but I wanted to get naked and play with little Paul. He was trying to untie the laces on my sneakers so I just heel-toed them off and then zipped off everything else.

I got little Paul down on the rug, started wrestling with him, and had him laughing and screaming in just a minute or so. I blew some big wet bubbles on his fat little belly and he loved it. I looked at Joanne and Stuart to see whether it was OK and they were smiling. Joanne was holding Kieran Lee in her lap so he could watch us too. He was waving both arms and he looked like he was grinning at me. Paul attacked me and I let him pin me down so he could blow bubbles on my stomach.

Then Stuart stood up and stripped and got in on the fun. Little Paul and I ganged up on him and blew bubbles on his stomach while he pretended to fight us off. Stuart made me get on hands and knees and give little Paul a ride on my back. Then he showed me how he did leg lifts lying on his back while Paul was straddling his ankles and holding on to his calves. I tried it too but I couldn’t lift him more than a couple of times.

“I wish Lauren was here so she could see what you three naked jay birds are doing on her oriental rug,” Joanne said when we stopped to rest for a minute. “If you make Paul pee on it, you can pay to have it cleaned.”

I looked at the rug. It was beautiful but it looked a little worn already and I couldn’t see why she would care that much. She saw me looking at the rug.

“It’s a very expensive oriental rug, Kerry,” she said. “It’s very old and rare and a lot of museums would love to have it to display.” 

“Then why does she have it on the floor?” I asked.

“Because that’s the way Mom is,” Stuart yelled. Then he grabbed me and wrestled me down again and little Paul piled on us. 

We played for a while longer, until it was almost dark in the room. Joanne made us stop and we all went in the kitchen for a bowl of ice cream. Little Paul fed himself and got it all over his face and belly. Kieran Lee started fussing so Joanne opened her shirt, lifted her nursing bra, and stuck her nipple in his mouth. Stuart and I sat and watched her while she ate a big bowl of ice cream and Kieran Lee nursed. I started getting a hard-on watching her so I pushed my dick down, crossed my legs on it, and then finished off my ice cream. Joanne saw what I did and she just smiled.

When we finished, we all went over to the old house to get ready for bed. Joanne took Kieran Lee to the boys’ room to change his diaper while Stuart and I took little Paul to the big bathroom for a shower. He was used to me giving him a bath and he loved it because I played with him. I scrubbed him all over except for his dick while Stuart watched.

“You missed something,” Stuart said.

“Uh uh, watch this,” I said.

I soaped up the washcloth real good and handed it to Paul.

“Wash behind your ears, Buddy,” I said.

He leaned over so he could see over his belly, pulled his foreskin back with one hand, and washed his dick with the cloth in the other. He popped a boner about as quickly as I do and then looked up at me and Stuart with a big grin on his face. He handed the cloth back to me 

“You do it too, Unca Kerry.”

He and Stuart watched me do it too. I stopped before my dick stood straight up like his.  I started to rinse the cloth but Paul stopped me.

“Dad do it too,” he insisted, giggling.

I passed the cloth to Stuart and he washed behind his ears while Paul and I watched. His dick didn’t stand up either but it filled out some.

“Well, I guess it makes sense now,” Stuart said. “I wondered why he kept saying something about washing behind his ears when I washed under his foreskin. I didn’t know where the hell he’d learned that.” 

“Yeah, I taught it to him,” I said. “Grandpa Stuart taught it to Dad and Uncle Alan. When they were little he’d tell them to wash behind their ears and they knew he meant to skin their dick back and scrub it. Dad used to say the same thing to me and Kavan.”

“Well, I guess we can teach Kieran Lee the same thing, can’t we, Paul?”

Paul giggled and said, “Yeah.”

Stuart started to turn the shower off but I stopped him and asked him if he wanted a back scrub.

“Whose back have you been scrubbing, Squirt?” he asked.

“Kavan’s and Dad’s. We always did it when we were growing up. Lots of times when we showered together we’d do it for each other. We still do it sometimes.”

“Well, any time you shower with me, you can do mine for me. Joanne does it sometimes but we don’t get to shower together much lately.”

“Just do like Dad did with me and Kavan. Shower with little Paul and Kieran Lee and you can teach them to do it. This shower is big enough for a bunch of people.”

“Yeah, I like that big shower you’ve got in your basement. I especially liked the way we all showered together last August. That’s why I made this one so big.”

“Grandpa Stuart has a big one in his basement too. He and Dad and Uncle Alan used to shower together. That’s why Dad put in a big one for us when we bought the house.”

I scrubbed Stuart’s back and then I braced my hands on the wall so Stuart could do me. He was too easy with the soapy cloth and I had to tell him to rub harder, like I did. Little Paul watched us and then he put his hands against the wall so we could do his back.
  
Afterwards Stuart sat him on the counter and brushed his hair and then brushed his teeth. I got my bag and did my own hair and teeth. Stuart did his too while little Paul waited, watching us. When we finished, Stuart put him down on the floor. He ran over to the urinals, to the lower one, and then turned and looked at Stuart.

“Come on, Dad,” he said. “Let’s pee.”

“Let Unca Kerry do it with you tonight,” Stuart said.

I did it with him while Stuart leaned back on the counter and watched us. Little Paul did a pretty good job and peed in the urinal most of the time. He missed a little when he looked up at me doing it.

We all went in Stuart and Joanne’s bedroom so little Paul could get his goodnight kiss. Joanne was on the bed playing with Kieran Lee. Stuart picked Paul up and held him over for his kiss. Then I took him to his own bedroom so I could read to him. He picked out two books for me to read but he was asleep before I finished the first one.

When I went back to the other bedroom, all the lights were out except for a little one on the chest opposite the bed. Stuart and Joanne were both sprawled out naked on the king-size bed propped up with pillows. Joanne had her ankles crossed so I couldn’t see much except some dark hair. Kieran Lee was asleep between them but his mouth was still sucking.

I didn’t really know whether they wanted me to sleep in the bed with them or maybe sleep somewhere else. The bed was big enough for three but I didn’t know whether they wanted me in the middle like Kieran Lee or maybe Joanne would be in the middle.

Joanne held up one finger to her lips so I knew to be quiet. Then Stuart picked up Kieran Lee and took him to the boys’ bedroom. Joanne patted the mattress beside her and I knew she meant it was OK for me to get in their bed. I crawled in at the foot of the bed and sat down cross-legged. I didn’t want to be in Stuart’s place when he came back.

“We’re trying to get the boys used to sleeping in the same room,” Joanne said. “Kieran Lee usually wakes up once during the night now. Sometimes Stuart goes and gets him for me. I nurse him here in the bed and then put him back down. If you sleep with us, we might wake you up.”

“Is it really OK for me to sleep with you and Stuart?” I asked. “When I asked him where I was going to sleep, he said we might all fool around a little and then I’d sleep with you and him. Is it really alright with you too?”

“Yes, it’s OK with me, Kerry,” she said. “Stuart and I’ve talked about it and we both think it would be fun if just once in a while we could play like we did at the cabin.”

“Well, what am I supposed to do? I’ve learned a lot about sex already but…”

She cut me off. “Don’t worry about it, Kerry. We don’t have a program planned. We just thought it would be nice to relax and enjoy being with each other. I imagine you and Stuart will think of something to do with me. He always does. I think I know a couple of things you might enjoy.” 

I was about to ask what when I felt Stuart’s hands on my shoulders. I hadn’t even heard him come back in the room.

“Show him what we did last weekend, Honey,” Stuart said.

Joanne uncrossed her ankles, moved her legs apart, and then spread them wide with both legs raised and knees bent. I could see her pussy and everything but I didn’t know what Stuart meant. I looked up at Joanne’s face and she was smiling at me. Stuart rubbed my shoulders and pulled me back against him. I could feel his thighs and dick against my back.

“Do you like it?” he asked.

I looked back down at her pussy again. It was all neat and looked like I knew it was supposed to but I still didn’t know what Stuart meant. Her pubic hair was almost black and neat and short. Underneath that I could see the soft mound that curved back between her legs and then split. At the top of the slit I could see the little thingy where a woman’s clitoris is and then the little lips inside the mound where they stuck out a little. I could even see a little pink where they separated and maybe even her asshole or something dark further back.

“Well, what do you think?” Stuart asked.

“He doesn’t know how hairy it usually is, Stuart,” Joanne said. “Show him yours.”

Stuart walked around and got on the bed beside Joanne. He spread his legs and lifted them like Joanne had hers. His balls hung down between his legs and his big dick was half-hard and laying on one side on his leg. I looked back at Joanne and then at Stuart and then at Joanne and finally it hit me. Neither one of them had any hair down there except for right above Stuart’s dick and above Joanne’s pussy. I understood. They’d shaved down there.

“Shit, you’ve both shaved it, haven’t you?” I asked.


TO BE CONTINUED:
