Nasty Joan
By himself with is thoughts, Jeff just sat there on the livingroom sofa, an angry expression on his face, the guy upset about his wife. Thinking away, he finally heard the sound of a car pulling into the driveway going with the nice expensive suburban home. Seconds later, the sound of footsteps met his ears as the lady walked over to the front door and slowly opened it, the woman coming home from her job as a part time secretary for some company.
Into the livingroom stepped a beautiful twenty six year old brunette with her dark mane raised up high, wearing a white blouse, a black slim business skirt on her lower body which went two inches below her knees, and a pair of black leather high heeled boots on her feet, the woman wearing the footwear because it rained earlier that same day in the morning.
Looking at his watch, Jeff said, “ Well Joan...glad to see you’re home...after five thirty like always.”
“ Yea...so.”, replied his wife as she strolled through the livingroom and into the kitchen, where she poured herself a drink, fired up a fresh cigarette, and then returned to the same livignroom, standing about ten feet from her seated husband.
“ I thought I said I don’t want any smoking in here.”
“ Fuck you.”
“ That’s very good, Joan...you make me sick..., you bitch.”
“ Say what you want...I’ll still do whatever I fucken want.”
Looking down at the coffee table in front of him, Jeff pointed at a bunch of credit card bills and asked, “ What’s all this about?”
“ What?”
“ You know...you’re spending a whole bunch of money on all kinds of useless crap.”
“ Who fucken cares..., you’re rich...just pay off the balance.”
“ That’s not the idea.”
“ Then what is the idea?”
“ You just married me for my money.”
“ So what...you married me for my ass and tits...what’s the fucken difference...value is value.”
“ Yea..., well..., there’s another thing.”
“ What?”
“ I think you’re running around behind my back.”
“ No I ain’t...”, replied Joan after taking another puff, “...that’s a bunch of fucken bullshit...who told you this?”
“ No one...I just got a hunch.”
“ You can take your “hunch” and shove it...you don’t know what the fuck you’re fucken taking about.”
“ Well..., it all doesn’t matter anyway...because you and I are through..., I don’t care how good you look...next week I’m gonna talk to a lawyer..., and you ain’t gonna get a fucken penny...you drunken slut..., that’s all you do with your free time...sit around and drink..., smoke and drink.”
“ I thought you said I’m supposed to be having an affair...ain’t that what I’m doing in my free time...huh?”
“ Ha, ha...whatever...like I said...we’re getting divorced...and for that matter...pack a suitcase now and leave...I don’t wanna see you again.”
“ Oh yea...well I ain’t leaving.”
“ I said get the hell outta here...you drunken bitch!”
A dirty smile on her face, Joan simply stood there, taking another sip from the brandy while she inhaled from the cigarette, looking over toward the television, saying, “ It’s gonna be six pretty soon...why don’t you turn on the TV and watch the news like you always do at this time.”
“ I’ll watch the news when you’re gone...and what’s the point about the news anyway?”
“ Just turn on the TV.”
“ Why?”
“ Do it.”, replied the brunette.
Suspicion on his face, Jeff nevertheless leaned forward and found himself saying, “ Where’s the remote...where is it?”
The dirty grin still on her face, Joan said, “ Is this what you’re looking for?”
Slowly, she reached into her skirt pocket and produced the device.
“ Yea...give it to me.”, said Jeff.
“ OK...I’ll give it to you all right...oh yes I will!”
Before the guy could say anything, the woman aimed the remote at him and pressed the power button, causing a red beam of subatomic particles to come out and strike him!
“ Hey...what’s going on?”, cried Jeff.
“ Ha...yea...look at that...it works on people!”
“ I don’t get it...help...everything seems like it’s...OH NO...HOW?”
“ It’s you that’s changing...you’re shrinking..., ha ha!”
A few moments later, Jeff was reduced all the way down to only two inches tall, the helpless guy sitting there on the sofa, not knowing what to do.
Slowly, the lady placed the device and her drink down on the coffee table, after which she strolled over before the couch, turned around, and then parked her NICE AND CURVACEOUS ASS right next to him!
“ What happened, Joan?”
“ I really don’t know..., yesterday I accidentally dropped the thing and then when I tried to turn on the TV, a red beam came out, reflected off the picture tube, and then hit that one lamp, shrinking it...that’s why it’s not there anymore...assuming you even noticed.”
“ But how...?”
“ I don’t know and I don’t give a fuck...the only thing I know is that it works...this is the perfect device to kill someone and get away with it...no body...no evidence...no conviction.”
“ What do you mean?”
“ I’m gonna get rid of you...then collect on the life insurance...what else..., you ain’t gonna fucken divorce me..., ha, ha.”
“ Please...no don’t!”
“ Go to hell..., asshole...now it’s my turn to show some power.”
“ No, Joan...please!”, cried Jeff as his wicked wife reached forth and pinched the back of his shirt between her finger tips, moving him up to her face, finally blowing a cloud of smoke at him.
“ Please...put me down...don’t hurt me!”
“ Ha...ha...I can do with you whatever I want..., ha, ha!”
“ Please, Joan...help me...please!”
“ Fuck you!”, answered the lady as she set him down to the floor and then stood up herself, looking down at him now with one hand on her hip and the cigarette in the other, her weight shifted as well.
“ Joan...let me live!”, begged the man, helplessly standing there before her two beautiful high heeled works of art.
“ Kiss the leather...kiss my feet...do it!”, insisted the lady.
Having no choice, the little guy stepped forward and pressed his lips against her right boot’s toe, kissing away like crazy.
KISS! KISS! KISS!
The guy went on and on for the next ten minutes, hearing from above, “ This is my house now...I’m the boss here..., you little speck of dirt...that’s all you are!”
KISS! KISS! KISS!
After he was done kissing her feet, Joan raised her right boot above his little head, saying, “ There...how perfect...you had to kiss and worship the very thing that’s gonna kill you!”
“ NO...JOAN...PLEASE!”
Down it went, her boot’s sole crushed his helpless body, killing the man, ending his life in a second!
After she twisted her foot back and forth a few times, the woman reached for her drink, parked her nice ass back to the sofa, took another puff from the cigarette, and simply sat there, looking forward to all the money.
The End