Dirty Lisa
Inside her apartment, Lisa just sat there on the sofa, leaning herself back, puffing away at her New Port, her dark mane raised to the top of her head, a tight black T-shirt around her upper body, and a pair of blue jeans on her lower part. Wearing dark brown western boots on her feet, the brunette sat there for a few more moments until she raised her nice pretty ass, strolled into the kitchen, and poured herself a drink, returning to the livingroom with her cigarette in one hand and a shot glass in the other.
She walked over to her old dusty stereo and turned up the volume, going back to the sofa afterward, ready to park her ass. However, before she could sit down, she suddenly heard someone downstairs scream through the floor, “ TURN THAT SHIT DOWN!”
“FUCK YOU!”, cried the brunette in response.
“I SAID TURN THAT SHIT DOWN...YOU DRUNKEN FILTHY BITCH!”, yelled the other tenant, pounding on the ceiling as well.
Raising her right boot, Lisa quickly brought the heel down to the floor, stomping away over and over, screaming, “ FUCK YOU...MOTHERFUCKER...FUCK YOU!!!!”
“ SAME TO YOU...WHORE!”
“ FUCK YOU...FUCK YOU...!!!”
About two minutes later, her kitchen phone rang. At a casual pace, the drunken brunette staggered over and then picked up the phone, saying, “ Yea?”
“ Ah...Lisa...this is Carl...the building manager..., I just got a call from another tenant saying your radio’s too load.”
“ Tell him to drop dead.”
“ Listen...turn it down...this isn’t the first complaint about you, not to mention that you’re always late with the rent.”
“ Oh c’mon...it ain’t that fucken bad.”
“ Turn it down.”
After she exhaled a cloud of smoke, the brunette simply mumbled into the phone, “ Yea...yea...don’t fucken worry...I’ll turn it down...all right...don’t worry.”
“ Good...thanks.”
She hung up the receiver and strolled back into the livingroom where she turn it all the way off, flopping her nice ass to the couch, cussing to herself, “ Fuck this joint...bastards...why don’t they all kiss my ass.”
For the next hour or so, the lady really did nothing but sit there, get up every once in a while, pour herself some more booze, and then flop her ass back down. A short while later, however, she looked at the clock and realized it was time to eat, causing her to get up, stroll into the kitchen, and prepare some supper for herself. When she was done, Lisa washed the dishes and threw away an empty milk carton, seeing that her garbage container was full, stuffed to the limit, after which she simply bent down and pulled out the plastic bag full of the gross stuff, setting it to the side, tying the thing shut. She put a fresh bag into the container and then fired up a cigarette, taking up the full bag of garbage afterward, when she next carried it over to the apartment door and walked out into the hall, going downstairs, leaving the structure, and finally going to the back of the building where all the trash cans were sitting.
Lisa raised one of the lids and saw that it was already full. Dropping the lid down to the side, the bitch reached for another, seeing that the second can was also full, the lady also tossing its lid to the side, complaining,, “ All the cans are full...fuck.”
Nevertheless, she eventually found an empty one, knocked off the lid, and then began stuffing the plastic bag into it.
“Get in there!”, mumbled the brunette, pushing down at the garbage until the bag busted, half of her trash falling out down to the ground.
Shrugging her shoulders, Lisa simply bitched to herself a little, fired up another cigarette, and then turned around, wishing to return to her suite, leaving the garbage spread all over the ground. However, she suddenly bumped into the building manager who said, “ Hey...what the hell was all that about...your trash is all over the place...I figured it was you all along...now I caught you.”
“ Man...”, replied Lisa, “...suck my tits!”
“ You better clean that up...and put all those lids back.”
“ They’re all full.”
“ That doesn’t mean you gotta throw the lids all over.”
“ Then tell this fucken town to collect the garbage more often.”
“ I want you to pick all that stuff up.”
“ Kiss my ass!”
“ Clean it up or you got three days to get out.”
“ You ain’t gonna do that.”
“ Yea I would..., like I told you on the phone, you’re always late with the rent..., I can kick you out for that alone.”
A dirty expression on her face, the woman nevertheless dropped her cigarette to the ground, killed it with her boot, and then slowly turned around, going back to the mess she made, picking up all the trash now, tossing it all into another can, finally placing all the lids back in place. Finished, she fired up another cigarette and said, “ There...is that fucken good enough for you?”
Nodding his head with his lips pressed together, the man replied, “ Ok...just please be more careful the next time and keep your stereo down...all right?”
“ Yea...yea.”, mumbled the lady as she walked past the guy, going back to the building while he stayed behind working on something else, Lisa entering the structure now, smoking her cigarette, blowing a whole bunch of smoke into the air.
On her way up the stairs, however, she met some other female tenant going down the steps in the opposite direction, the other woman holding a small child in her arms.
“ There you are...”, said the woman, “...I wanna talk to you.”
“ What?”, snapped Lisa, an irritated look on her face.
“ Do you always have to smoke in the halls...you and your cigarette...every time I leave my apartment with the baby, he starts coughing.”
A filthy expression in her eyes, Lisa sucked on her cigarette, pulled it from her mouth, and then moved her face right up to the child, blowing a whole bunch of smoke down at the poor thing, saying, “ Fuck your brat...why didn’t you abort its ass while the aborting was good!”
Her eyes wide open now, the other lady yelled, “ YOU DRUNKEN SLUSH...I’M TALKING TO THE MANAGER...I WANT YOU OUT...I’LL TAKE THIS TO COURT IF I HAVE TOO!!!”
“ FUCK YOU...BLOND BITCH...KISS MY ASS!”
The other tenant said nothing after that, she simply shoved Lisa aside and charged from the building, a very angry expression on her face!
Back up in her messy apartment, Lisa strolled over to the kitchen where she poured herself another drink, fired up a fresh cigarette, and went back to the livingroom where she turned on the TV and flopped her ass to the couch. It didn’t take ten minutes and her phone rang, causing her to return to the kitchen, knowing exactly who it was, Lisa saying, “ Hey...that fucken bitch got in my face first...she started it.”
“ You got three days...OK?”
“ What...you’re kicking me out?”
“ That’s right...you got three days to move out...if you’re not out by the time I come home from work this coming Thursday, then I’ll call the police...have you evicted.”
“ But she started it!”
“ You deliberately blew smoke in a baby’s face.”
“ She got in my FACE first!”
“ Whatever...like I said...three days...then you’re out.”
“ You’re a fucken asshole...you know that?”
“ Say what you want...lady..., just be out Thursday.”
“ FUCK YOU...MOTHERFUCKER...FUCK YOU...YOU FUCKEN FUCK HEAD!”
CLICK!
The guy hung up on her, after which she simply wandered over to the kitchen counter and pounded away at it, yelling, “ FUCK THIS JOINT...THIS FUCKEN SHIT HOLE!”
Downstairs, the other tenant started pounding on the ceiling, yelling, “ STOP ALL THAT NOISE...YOU DRUNKEN SLUT!”
Stomping away at the floor with her boots, the lady yelled back over and over, “ FUCK YOU...FUCKEN JERK...GO TO HELL YOU FUCKEN BASTARD...DROP FUCKEN DEAD!!!”
However, a short while later, the altercation simmered down and Lisa parked her ass to one of the kitchen chairs, finally realizing there wasn’t much she could do if the manger told her she had to move. As a result, the woman simply got up again and made herself a cup of coffee, thinking about this and that when suddenly a dirty smile crossed her lips.
She quickly drank the rest of the coffee, fired up a fresh cigarette, and left the apartment, going downstairs to her old rusted piece of junk. She parked her ass behind the wheel, cranked the thing a couple of times before it started, and finally drove off to Wal-Mart where she bought a gallon of red paint and a thick paint brush. When she got back to the apartment, Lisa placed the paint stuff in the kitchen and eventually turned in for the night.
Lisa spent the next day at the unemployment office, filling out some basic forms required every month, the woman laid off from her job a while ago, wishing to keep the unemployment for as long as possible before she eventually has to “break down” and seriously look for another job, milking the system for whatever she could get. When Lisa was home again, the drunken bitch picked up the phone and called the building manager, saying, “ Ah...um...I’ll be outta here tomorrow...what the fuck do you want me to do with the fucken key?”
“ I’ll be at work when you leave...so just slide it under my door before you go.”
“ All right...whatever you say.”
“ Oh...and make sure the apartment is locked when you leave for the last time.”
“ Yea?, replied Lisa, starting up again, “And what are you gonna do if I don’t...fucken kick me out..., ha, ha!”
“ Look...whatever...just make sure you slide the key under the door...be out before I come home...I don’t wanna have to look at you again.”
“ You’re an asshole...you know that?”
“ Just make sure YOUR ASS is gone tomorrow.”
CLICK!
Again, he hung up on here while the lady kept yelling away at the empty dial tone, “ FUCK YOU...SUCK MY RIGHT TIT...FUCK YOU...!!!!”
After she finally hung up, the woman did a few things in the apartment here and there until she eventually turned in. She woke up the next morning and got dressed in her usual black T-shirt, jeans, and her boots, raising her dark mane back up to the top of her head, going out to the kitchen where she made some breakfast, drank coffee, poured herself a drink, and of course, fired up a fresh cigarette.
At a slow pace, the brunette started packing all her things together which really wasn’t too much, all the furniture belonging to the building, so all she had was her small TV, her old stereo with the beat up speakers, some clothes, a few other smaller things, all of which fit on the back seat of her car and in the trunk.
When ten thirty came around, Lisa had all her stuff down in the car. She went back up to the apartment and fired up a fresh cigarette, just standing there and smoking for a while until she dropped the New Port to the floor and killed it with her boot, going to the kitchen afterward. From under the sink, Lisa removed the can of red paint and the brush, strolling back to the livingroom with the stuff.
As she stood before one of the four walls, Lisa opened the can, dunked in the brush, and then painted the words, “ FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE!”
Next, the drunk went to another wall and painted more stuff, “ KISS MY ASS!” Followed by, “ SUCK MY TITS” and “ LICK MY CUNT!”
She went back to the bedroom and painted the “F” word all over, also adding all kinds of other expletives as well, until the entire apartment was covered in obscene words, slogans, and jokes!
Finished, the bitch returned to the livingroom, placed the paint stuff by the door, and then ventured into the bathroom, where she grabbed some toilet paper and stuffed it into her T-shirt’s pocket. At a casual pace, she strolled back to the paint stuff, took it up, and left the apartment for good, deliberately leaving the door wide open, going downstairs to the manager’s place.
Lisa put the paint can and the brush down on the floor and reached into her jean pocket, removing the key, sliding it under his door as he requested. However, after she stood straight again, the filthy bitch turned around, opened her jeans, lowered her pants and panties to her knees, and then squatted, hanging her nice ass before his door step, after which SHE TOOK A SHIT right down on the floor! Done with her “business”, Lisa reached into her T-shirt pocket, removed the toilet paper, and simply wiped her ass, dropping the used paper to the floor afterward!
When she stood straight, the brunette pulled her clothes back up, grabbed the paint stuff again, and then painted some big words on the door, the letters spelling, “EAT MY SHIT, MOTHERFUCKER!”
Still holding the can, she turned around and then splashed the remaining paint all over the downstairs area, over the hall carpet, the walls, and even on the ceiling. When she was done trashing the place, dirty Lisa threw the can and brush to the side, fired up a fresh cigarette, and finally left the building, going over to her old piece of junk, where she parked her ass behind the wheel and drove off.
The End