FIXES (Chapter 153)

Warren and Sophie had pulled Ryan into the snack bar. "Why do you want to see Jess?" Sophie asked him.

"To tell her I'm sorry. Guys, I fucked up. I should've never let her leave."

"What about Courtney?" Warren asked.

Ryan laughed bitterly. "I walked out on Courtney yesterday. Right in the middle of practice. Got sick of listening to her, and got sick of asking myself what the hell I was doing putting up with her bullshit when Jess was a thousand miles away." He got a look of disgust on his face. "She wanted to start sleeping with me again. When I said, in effect, over my dead body-she said she thought it would help us become closer again. That's when I realized, once and for all, that the last thing I wanted to be was closer to Courtney Rogers-on or off the ice. I walked out, and told her to find a new partner."

"Wow," Sophie said. "You mean you found your spine after all?"

"I guess so," Ryan said. "I just couldn't live without Jess any more." He sighed. "Of course, now my career is in shambles, but fuck it. I can find another partner. I hope."

"Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you're going to have to work on Jess, I think," Sophie told him. "You hurt her very badly. And she's had one hell of a rough month."

"Rough month?"

"She's going to have to tell you that-if she chooses to do so," Sophie said. "We'll bring you over to her house, though."

They got changed and got in Warren's van. Ryan followed them in his rental car to Jessie's house. He parked behind them, and walked up to the van. "There you go, Ryan, that's her house, and I know she's there alone. Good luck."

"Thanks." Warren and Sophie took off, Ryan took a deep breath, and walked up to the door. He knocked. Jess was there in a second. 

"RYAN?" she said, shocked.

"Hi, Jess. Can we talk?"

"What are you doing here?"

"I flew out here this morning. I need to talk to you. Can I come in?" Jess opened the door and let him in, still wondering what the hell was going on. She led him to the living room. He sat down on the couch. She took a chair opposite.

"So, talk," she said.

"Jess, I'm sorry. Letting you go was the biggest mistake of my life."

"And that's supposed to make it all better?"

"No," he said. "It isn't."

"Dammit, Ryan, you put me through hell! Do you know what you did to me? I damn near wanted to kill myself! You kicked me out and left me pregnant!"

Ryan looked at her in complete shock. "Pregnant?"

"Yes, pregnant! I denied it for over a month. Sophie forced me to take a pregnancy test. It was positive." She took a deep breath. "But because I was so fucking depressed and in denial and wasn't taking care of myself-I miscarried that night."

"Oh, God, Jess," Ryan breathed. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"What was the point? I miscarried. It's gone. You don't have anything to worry about. I was going to call you, but when I miscarried.... Besides which, it might not have been yours. I slept with Warren the night you dumped me."

"But odds are it was," Ryan said sadly.

"Yes," Jess agreed. "Odds are it was. Odds are you left me pregnant, to go through this alone. I was fucking devastated. First at the thought I might be pregnant-and then, after I found out for sure I was, I was devastated to lose it. And where were you? With fucking Courtney!"

Ryan felt horrible-but he was also starting to get angry. "You could've called! The minute you suspected it, you could've called!"

"Where would that have gotten me? Oh, Jess, that's nice, maybe I'll deal with it if Courtney lets me out of my fucking cage!" Jess was practically screaming by now.

"I'm here now, aren't I?" Ryan said, his own voice rising.

"Yeah, for how long? How long until Courtney cricks her little finger and you come running?"

"I WALKED OUT ON HER!" Ryan screamed. "I walked off that fucking ice yesterday and told her to find another damn partner! I sabotaged my career so I could get on a fucking plane this morning to come find you!"

All the fury drained out of Jess in an instant-it was like watching Full Metal Jessica deflate. "Oh, God, you did?" she squeaked.

"Yes! I did! I don't care anymore. Every day you were gone, it got worse."

"Oh, God," Jess repeated, slumped into her chair.

"Look," Ryan said, calmer now, "I know you're angry with me, and you have a right to be. But I want another chance. I fucked up, I know that-but I want another chance. Jess, I gave up everything to get on that plane this morning."

"You did, didn't you?" She looked at him, then jumped out of her chair and launched herself at the couch and into his arms, sobbing. "Damn, I thought I'd never see you again!"

"I'm so sorry, Jess."

"I know. I am, too. I could've stayed, called Courtney's bluff, let you work around it for a while."

"No, you were right, and I know that now. She was so glad you were gone. She even tried to get me to go to bed with her again. That's when I knew I needed to dump her. I hate her guts, frankly. It's just not worth it."

"I'm glad, but I'm sorry about the skating part of it. What are you going to do?"

"Well, hold you just like this for about three days. Is that all right?"

"More than all right," Jess sighed.

"Well, I supposed I'd also better find a place to stay. I went right to the ice rink from the airport-I need to find a hotel."

"Hell with that! You'll stay right here!"

"What will your parents say?" Ryan asked.

"They'll be thrilled we worked things out. My parents are cool, want me to be happy, and treat me like an adult."

"Cool," Ryan said admiringly.

"Anyhow, back to my original question-I meant, what are you going to do in the long run?"

"That's a good question. I need to find a partner. Hey, it's an Olympic year, I'm 22. I'm young enough so that's another Olympic cycle that I can skate through-but I need to find a partner now to set that up. Have you found a job?"

"I haven't really looked. You know, I've been preoccupied. I was going to start looking soon, though-my parents are going to get pissed if I keep lying around the house like a depressed lump," she grinned. "Though they don't have to worry about the depressed part anymore. Anyhow, why do you ask?"

"I'm going to ask you to hold off. Would you be willing to move?"

"You mean, with you? If you find a partner somewhere else? Of course I would." She grinned. "As long as said partner knows you have a life out of skating, that life includes me, and her name's not Courtney Rogers."

"I think I can handle that," he grinned. 

"And I'd rather it not be back in Madison. As long as she's still there."

"I don't know what she's going to do. Kathy doesn't have anyone for her to skate with-nor does she have anyone for me to skate with, so I won't be going back there. I'll have to keep my apartment there until I figure out where I'm going-it's got all my stuff in it."

"We'll figure something out. Meantime, I need to show you something," she said, standing up.

"Oh, yeah?" He joined her.

"Yeah." She led him to the stairs, and started up.

"What are you showing me?" Ryan asked.

"My bed," Jess giggled. "With me in it. Naked as a jaybird, as soon as I can get that way."

"I think I'd like to see that," Ryan grinned.


They were done making love-which was glorious-and curled up on the couch, just chatting, when Jessie's parents came home.

"Mom? Dad? I want you to meet Ryan," Jessie said.

"Ryan? The guy that broke my little girl's heart?" her Dad thundered.

"Oh, shit," Ryan moaned.

"Dad, that's all over with, OK? It's fixed."

"Fixed? How?" Jess's mother asked. 

"I'm here," Ryan said. "I told my former partner to go take a flying leap, and hopped on a plane. I'm not losing Jessie, not ever again."

"Oh, and he's staying here," Jessie said. "He was going to go find a hotel-I told him what he could do with that idea."

"Just for a bit," Ryan said. "I need to figure out what I'm going to do with my skating career."

They ate dinner, and things went better. Jessie's parents were a little apprehensive-but less so as the evening went on. They realized that the two really did love each other. They were also satisfied with Ryan's explanation. He really did take a big chance in ripping apart his partnership.

"Hey, we've skated together for six years, and we were starting to go places. This is a big gamble-and, I admit it, I was scared to death to take it. But I finally decided that Jess was more important."


After dinner, Sophie and Warren stopped by. 

"Everything worked out?" Sophie asked.

"Perfectly," Jess told them.

"Now I just need to call the USFSA and see if there's anyone looking for a partner."

Sophie and Warren looked at each other. "Did you bring your skates with you?" Warren asked.

"Yeah."

"Come to the rink tomorrow."

"OK," Ryan agreed.


Ryan and Jess both showed up while Warren and Sophie were working. When they were done, Warren skated over. "We have a prospect for you," he told Ryan.

"Oh?"

"Her name's Amy Lowell. She's 16. She just passed her senior test-in fact, I skated with her to pass it-but she's got talent and she works hard. She's been without a partner for a while." Warren explained Amy's skating history. "Now, she was a little difficult for me to skate with, because she's a lot smaller than Sophie. But she's very similar in size to Courtney, so you won't have that problem."

"What's she like, personality wise?" Ryan asked, a little hesitantly.

"The anti-Courtney," Warren grinned. "She's bubbly, happy, sweet. And she won't be trying to get her hooks in you, I don't think-she just started dating Sophie's little brother Eric."

"Little Eric's got a girlfriend?" Jessie said. "Boy, do I feel old now."

Everyone laughed at that. "Well, they just started dating, but they get along well," Sophie told her. 

"OK, I'll try it," Ryan agreed. "Sixteen's a little young, but a six-year age difference isn't unheard of in dance. What have I got to lose?"

A few minutes after, Amy walked in. Warren explained to her that they had someone who wanted to try skating with her. She happily agreed-and then looked over and saw who it was. "RYAN KILLEN?" she gasped.

"Hi," Ryan said. "You must be Amy."

Amy's mouth was opening and closing like a fish. "You want me to skate with Ryan Killen? He's the national champion!"

"You can do this, Amy. You skated with me just fine, and I'm better," Warren teased. Ryan playfully punched him in the arm.

"I thought you skated with Courtney Rogers?" Amy said.

"I used to. That's all done with. I walked out on her two days ago."

"Oh," Amy said. "Well, OK, we can try."

June was there, watching. "Amy. Ryan's a good partner. You can do this."

"OK." They took the ice, and started working on some simple steps. 

Warren had to go run an errand, so he stripped his skates off and told Sophie he'd be back in a half hour or so. Sophie settled next to Jess in the stands. As they started to watch, Eric walked in.

"Hey, little brother, what you doing here?" 

"Had a half day at school. I'm going to take Amy to lunch." He looked out at the ice. "Isn't that the guy who skates with that bitch you hate?" he asked Sophie.

"Used to skate with her. He's trying out with Amy," Sophie told him.

"Oh," Eric said. "Well, that's good," he added, but didn't sound like he meant it.

"Something wrong?" Sophie asked.

"Nah."

"Come on, Eric, spill the beans."

"I feel like an idiot," he sighed. "We've only been on a couple dates. The thing is, I really like her. And I know how important skating is to her and I want her to find a partner. It's just, watching her dancing with another guy hit me harder than I thought it would."

 "Oh," Sophie said. "You have nothing to worry about when it comes to Ryan, you know."

"Why, is he gay?" Eric asked.

Jessie couldn't hold back the laughter. "No, Eric, he's very straight. He's also very, very taken. By me."

"Oh," Eric said.

"That's why he's here," Jess said. "Courtney hated my guts, and gave Ryan an ultimatum-her or me. Well, he initially picked her; but realized what a dumb move that was and hopped on a plane."

"Yeah, and we needed to find him a partner," Sophie said.  "Amy seemed like a good choice."

"Oh, OK. Good," Eric said-then looked at them sheepishly. "I know I'm being an idiot. It's just that-hell, we've only had a few dates. It's only been a couple weeks. I don't know."

"But you really like her," Sophia said softly.

"Yeah."

"How does she feel?"

"I'm still trying to figure that one out," Eric said wryly. 

 "Well, is she happy when she's around you?" Jess asked.

"Yeah, but she's always happy. That's what makes her hard to read. She's always happy."

"No, she's not,"  they heard. They looked up and saw a woman approaching-it was Alice Lowell, Amy's mother, who Eric and Sophie had met at Amy's test. "Hello, Eric, Sophia. Nice to see you again."

"Likewise," Sophie said. "This is my best friend Jessica."

"Nice to meet you. As for what you were saying, Eric, she's not always this happy. She's usually pretty happy, but this is very happy, even for her. I know a lot of it has to do with passing her test-but the rest? Well, all I've heard for two weeks is Eric, Eric, Eric," she smiled. Eric blushed at that! "You're very good for her." Mrs. Lowell looked out onto the ice. "Now. Is that Ryan Killen I see skating with my daughter?"

"Yes. A tryout," Sophie said.

"I thought he skated with the barracuda."

Jessie giggled at that. "He walked out on her two days ago. Figured he could find another partner, but he couldn't find another girlfriend. So he flew into town yesterday and pleaded with me to take him back. Courtney hated my guts, you see, and forced him to choose."

"And he finally made the right choice," Sophie grinned. "But now we need to find him a partner-and Warren and I thought of Amy. And they seem to be doing well together."

"That would be excellent, Ryan is a superb skater," Mrs. Lowell said. "So. Let me get this straight. Your brother, here, is dating my daughter-and your best friend is dating Ryan Killen. Now, I remember Warren telling me his sister dates Tom Bellamy?" Sophie nodded. "And his best friend dates Liz Cushman, correct?" Sophie nodded again. Mrs. Lowell grinned widely at her. "What the heck are you and Warren, the USFSA dating service?"

The laughter after that remark was loud enough to draw the attention of the people on the ice. Amy looked over. "Hi, Mom! ERIC!" She skated over, Ryan in tow. "What are you doing here?"

"I had a half day at school so I thought I'd take you to lunch after you skate."

"Awesome!" she said, smiling widely. "Ryan, this is my mother." They shook hands. "And this here is Eric, Sophie's brother. He's also my brand-spanking-new boyfriend." She dropped her voice into a mock-whisper, and told Ryan, "So watch where you put your hands. I think he gets jealous," she giggled.

"That's OK. I know Jessie gets jealous," Ryan laughed.

"And don't you forget it, bub," Jessie teased.

They skated back out to finish the practice, and Sophie leaned into Eric and whispered, "I don't think you have anything to worry about when it comes to how she feels about you."

"You might be right," Eric whispered back with a smile. "She called me her boyfriend." He was plainly thrilled with that. Sophie grinned at him.


After practice ended, everyone there-including June; and Warren, who had returned-were huddled up at the boards.

"So, what do you guys think?" June said.

"Well, he's a whole lot better than I am," Amy admitted.

"I don't think it's as much as you think," Ryan said.

"And besides which, he was a whole lot better than Courtney," Warren added, to giggles and chuckles.

"Honestly, I'm all for it," Ryan said. "I think you're great, and can get better. I'm just more experienced, that's all. And that's been the most fun I've had on the ice in years."

"Don't sell yourself short, Amy," June told her. "You will catch up. It'll take work, but you can do it. And you and Ryan already have a natural rhythm."

"Really? You think so?" Amy said.

"I know so," June told her. "The only question, really, is if Ryan thinks I can coach you guys."

"No question about it," Ryan said definitively. "Good enough for Warren and Sophie, good enough for me."

"Warren and Sophie do a lot on their own," June said.

"Not at first we didn't," Sophie argued. "And without you we never would've been capable of doing a lot on our own, you know that."

June tried to protest, but Ryan interrupted. "It's settled. I have no problems with you as a coach, June. I like your style already, and Warren and Sophie have always raved about you."

"Okay, okay," June laughed.

"So," Ryan said to Amy, "you wanna skate with me?"

"Yes," Amy replied, happy as a clam. 

"Good," Jessie sighed in relief. "I don't have to move."

"Yes, you do," Ryan said. "As soon as we can find an apartment."

Jess beamed at him, and then said, "OK, fine-I don't have to move far!"






