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 100 REMINISCENCES OF A MARRIAGE TO A CHILD.
   Foreword.
   100 Reminiscences of a marriage to a child is a work of fiction, and as
such for the purposes only of fantasy, not intended to condone or encourage
paedophilia.  It is set on a fictional island community, where child-sex is
legal, and told from the 1st-person viewpoint of a 39yo man who has taken a
child-bride.  It is, therefore, a serious contemplation of how such a
culture might work (or not).  Moral pronouncements will be made through the
voice of this fictional character and his fictional society.  It is a
series of reflections, 250 words each, and will be posted 10 at a time.
   Reminiscences 51-60.
   * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
   51.  Towards `proper' fucking.
   After the renewal of my marriage to Amy, now 10 years old, I had a
strong feeling of clarification and taking stock.  After one complete year,
largely gone was the guilt of what old-speak would call `raping and
sodomizing a child'.  One of my principle goals was now to achieve more
proper vaginal sex.  By `proper' I mean in the orthodox position of
missionary, and with some of the typical movements with which consenting
adults would fuck.  Obviously this was never going to be exactly like
adult-on-adult, nor would I want it to be: part of the joy is the
uniqueness of child-sex in itself.  Her fair and skinny little body lay
prone on its back, her short thighs extremely open around my strong adult
bulk.  I tended to perch on my elbows, my chest above her face and with my
hands around her head, giving myself a precision-control over penetrative
force.  The fine-tuning of this led to motions which could be almost as
fast as the adult version, but not as deep, always using any expression of
pain on her part as a barometer.  Things in which there are NO difference
are in the quality of erection, vocal expression of my orgasm, or the
amount of ejaculation.  A big difference, however, was obviously in the
size of her vaginal canal.  Two or three inches of erectile shaft tightly
squashed up it results in a superb overflow, all the more visual because of
her hairlessness.
   52.  Amy's responsiveness to fucking.
   In tandem with the honing of my paedophile-intercourse technique was the
encouragement of Amy to express herself.  Yes, there is sometimes pain for
her, but it is crucial to understand this is in context.  She is
well-adjusted to nudity, intimate touching and general expression of sexual
love, and laughter is common.  There is much sweetness.  Into this come my
periodic attempts to `make love in the way husbands and wives do', and Amy
plays her part.  One simple thing which brings a feeling of enormous
authenticity is in her touching her heels on the backs of my thighs, and
she'll sometimes clamp them down quite hard if she gets a twinge of
cunt-pain.  In such moments, I ease off or `still myself'.  Using her hands
on my body, ie my bum, shoulders or back, is crucial: not matter how
contrived, it is hard to tell apart from proper adult passion-touching,
except of course her hands are small.  Most important of all is in the
noises: I encourage her to make them, both `as she sees fit' but also
imitating me.  A delight is seeing and hearing her breathe hard beneath me,
her eyes closed or open being equally sweet.  It's lovely when she moans in
her `child way', but utterly sensational to hear her little-girl voice
attempt to copy my adult male grunts.  Most incredible is if she can time a
crescendo of vocals with my orgasm, but thrusting for her is a challenge
[81].
   53.  One must be careful what one says (or writes).
   In my end of year report, I wrote of my `residual guilt' at my life with
Amy.  A week later I found myself appearing before a panel of the Head
Counsellor, and two of the senior Senators.  This is quite common,
apparently, and often does not lead to any trouble.  Indeed, they began the
interview by explaining this was a formality, and thank you for my
`honesty'.  Nevertheless, everybody knows damned well that the bottom line
of this is checking up on whether a guy is a potential renegade to the
Island's central cause (sex with children).  More positively, to an extent
they were also checking up on whether there were any details in my conduct
towards Amy that would `deserve' me to feel guilty.  By the end of the
discussion - a very frank one, delving into my personal life with Amy, my
feelings, and lasting an hour - they seemed fully satisfied that I am no
threat, but that I indeed fucking love the idea of fucking children.  Nor
that I had brutalised her, or done anything other than extract my sexual
rights as a husband from her.  They said such residual guilt was very
common for a `year or two', and is nothing more than a vestige of the old
world, that it was a good sign I am acknowledging it, but I should `try not
to think about it too much' from now on, but just enjoy.
   54.  `Couples night' at the The Harbour Restaurant.
   The main town, South Village (pop.350), has one large quality
restaurant. Every Thursday evening there is `Couples Night', which means
that only married couples are catered for.  On Idyllic (`pedo') Island,
this means a cross-section of couples with men of various ages, and females
of any age from 8 to adult.  About 40% are preteen, 40% adolescent, and the
other 20% are over 16.  It is a place of reinforcement (for adult as well
as child) and camaraderie, as well as providing a traditional option for
social pleasure within one's marriage.  It is a place where one can
publically display one's paedophilia (within reason, see 38), and everyone
is expected to respect this.  It is quite something to observe the array of
young girls and their husbands present, chatting away, knowing that sex is
almost inevitably going to follow.  We all tend to visualize what those
other couples' sex is like.  Couples can choose to book a table alone (a
2-seater), a 4-seater, or a long 8-seater.  It is pot luck what other
couples you get, and unless one books the 2-seater it is expected that
`wife-swap' agreements (12 hours, overnight) will be done by the end of the
meal.  For the sake of smooth-running, this is the principle way that the
island's culture of `sharing' is done.  The rules stipulate a husband must
book a share table at least once every 2 months.  Most, including me, are
perfectly willing.
   55.  `Singles night' and `mixed night'.
   As it sounds, this is the equivalent of [54] but on Fridays it is the
turn of the singles: these are men have opted not to take a wife on the
Island, but instead enjoy a sex life with up to 2 different children (where
their preference is pedo) on 2 days per week.  I can see the appeal of this
- the excitement of variety and anticipation, saving it up for just 2 days
- but I wanted regularity and `ownership'.  Well, on `singles night' they
bring along their date for that night, and if they book a share table they
can do a swap with another guy.  I find this curious, since they've
selected their date from the Island database in the first-place -
presumably a kid that rocks their boat?  I suppose the lottery of a swap,
and the entire social event of dining with fellow paedophiles is even more
exciting.  Some of course book a 2-seater, for a private evening of
`courtship', before going on to do whatever they want to do with her in the
bedroom.  `Mixed night' is also as it sounds: a combination of married
couples and singles, on Saturday nights, populate the restaurant.  This
provides a very interesting dynamic, and I can't decide whether I prefer it
to sticking with fellow married couples.  As for the girls, they're taught
all this is entirely normal, and they do not have a say in it unless her
man wants to allow her one.
   56.  `Sex Workout' No.1.
   Forgive me for harping on about the naked bum-grind once again, but it
was/is something of an obsession with me.  Just to remind you, the `naked'
refers to ALL of both of us - my 41-year-old male body and Amy's
11-year-old girl one - adopting doggy position, so I could grind the
underside of my severely erect penis on her soft little arse until I
achieved satisfaction.  The better we both got at this activity, it took on
the status of a `workout'.  As Amy got accustomed to the physicality and
grunting of it, I insisted that she make counter-efforts.  That is to say,
to `meet' my thrusts in reverse and to resist being thrown forward by the
strength of them.  This meant establishing `rhythm'.  I compensated for the
inequality in our power by cupping her bony shoulders or clenching her
round her narrow hips.  This benefited me too, as the more stable she was
the faster and harder I could drive, sometimes even dripping sweat on her.
Over time, her facial expressions evolved from anxiety to a focused
willingness to please, and finally a measure of erotic understanding.  She
would often giggle, if I was not knocking the breath out of her, and her
fair-skinned face was often pink with the effort.  She would sometimes
whine "I can't!" when during my climaxes I gasped at her, "Try harder."
Afterwards, I always told her I did not mind so long as she had tried and
`enjoyed it.'
   57.  `Sex Workout' No.2.
   In essence this was just a variation on the above.  The difference was
that Amy lay on her front, with a cushion under her crotch, and I lay over
her with the perfect angle to friction-fuck her smooth little bum.  I
banged her in short but energetic strokes.  If I thrust from too low, I
slipped `beneath' her occasionally and hurt her with a near
cunt-penetration.  My hips needed to roll through in a forward but slightly
upward curve, and as I accelerated I cupped one hand around the top of her
head to keep her from sliding away from me.  This intensified the feeling
of dominance coupled with affection I felt for my young submissive angel.
It was an entirely passive session for Amy, and the `workout' was all mine.
It was a great pleasure for me to watch her cute blonde head and pretty
face, sideways down, flinching from my adult lust but so co-operative. 
Unfortunately our height-difference made it too difficult to kiss her, and
in any case I needed to perch up on my elbows when I was pumping at speed.
On the carpet was good, as it gave a solid foundation, but even more fun
was in banging away to an insane paedophilic climax on a soft creaking bed.
I enjoyed giving her my very best grunts and moans of adult orgasm.  I
found it so erotic at times, even after spillage I pressed my penis hard on
her little crack.
   58.  Amy stopped wearing her headband by the time she was 11.
   It was four months before her 11th birthday, to be exact.  She knew I
liked it, as we'd had so many sex sessions by this time where a key part of
the foreplay for me was removing it.  She therefore asked me `if it would
be ok'.  This is the kind of girl she is: thoughtful, and deferential to my
husbandly and adult authority, just as the island teaches.  We agreed that
she wear it sometimes by `special request' henceforth.  She wanted to feel
less childish, she claimed.  That seemed to me to be no bad thing, since it
suggested she was leaving behind without regret her non-sexual traditional
childhood.  From that day, she wore her hair completely au naturel.  It
simply hung around her ears, neck and shoulders, free and somewhat
scruffily even.  It reflected her lack of vanity, and was very much the way
you'd expect an 11-year-old female child to look if she was a castaway, or
a street-urchin.  Amy was clean, however, and her face as always mild,
intelligent and civilized.  She began wearing a light shade of pink
lipstick and black eyelash paint, which I okayed so long as she didn't tart
herself any further.  In fact it was fun to suck off her lipstick, or to
get it on my penis.  I was more proud than ever to be seen out in public
with her on my arm as my child-wife.
   59.  Buggery in the Bath.
   Sandwiching beloved young Amy between my knees in the arousing warmth of
the water, and with my penis so low on her narrow back, it was inevitable I
would sometimes have the urge to try putting it up her arse.  I used to
begin by lifting her a little into position.  I was curious to see how the
combination of the moisture, heat and gravity might help achieve successful
penetration.  I have said elsewhere that anal is not Amy's favourite thing,
and getting an adult erection up a child's bottom is not the easiest thing
in any position.  Whenever I started this, she would sigh or utter "Oh,
no," but not in a stroppy way.  With growing confidence she began to assist
more willingly in it, so that by age 10 we were certainly achieving at
least some degree of sodomy.  The water etc did indeed help, but more so as
she got more skilled.  She would control her own lowering with her hands on
the sides of the bath, and I could feel her anus slowly relax open around
my shaft to admit it into her.  The sensation was almost like having the
top half of my penis eaten - `bitten' on by a small toothless mouth.  Amy
pulled little expressions of concentration, whilst I pretty soon gasped and
ejaculated.  It seemed even more erotic if her hair was soaked and matted
to her, maybe because this highlighted her cute child-face and shoulders
all the more.
   60.  The most tender erotic moment.
   Early in the second year of marriage, I was having many of what I would
term `tender erotic moments' with Amy.  This means moments which manage to
combine gentle affection - in other words the right and proper way to
relate to a child - with some aspect of candid sexuality.  This is indeed
the central challenge of a paedophilic relationship, the reconciling of two
elements which conventional wisdom says are as opposite almost as `good'
and `evil'.  I believe I have discovered that the latter - `sex with a
child' - is not per se an `evil'.  A good example is where I lay in bed on
my side next to Amy, who is on her back, our bodies making the usual taboo
size-contrast.  A bigger taboo still is that I have an extremely stiff
erection, and Amy's 10-year-old hand is gripping it, whilst I have a muscly
adult leg across her.  Up above, I am planting the most delicate kisses all
over her forehead and cheeks, as I stroke her head and hair and tell her
how I adore her.  She `feels' loved in this instant, and understands this,
especially if I don't attempt the pain of penetration.  Although she cannot
fully understand sexual arousal, she has grown `used' to it and can regard
the masturbating of me as `fun' (even `funny').  I'm often perfectly happy
to cum in her hand, and tend to spill a lot of it over her thigh in this
position.
   * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
   The next 10 to be posted in a day or two.  Feedback welcome to
ep1968@hotmail.co.uk Webpic of girl who inspired 'Amy' available on
request. Would you prefer to be a 'single' or a married guy on the Island? 
  
100 Reminiscences of a marriage to a child (51-60)