Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience. 100 REMINISCENCES OF A MARRIAGE TO A CHILD. Foreword. 100 Reminiscences of a marriage to a child is a work of fiction, and as such for the purposes only of fantasy, not intended to condone or encourage paedophilia. It is set on a fictional island community, where child-sex is legal, and told from the 1st-person viewpoint of a 39yo man who has taken a child-bride. It is, therefore, a serious contemplation of how such a culture might work (or not). Moral pronouncements will be made through the voice of this fictional character and his fictional society. It is a series of reflections, 250 words each, and will be posted 10 at a time. Reminiscences 21-30. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 21. Females are second-class citizens. This is the core Island belief which underpins our culture. Namely, one of legalized sex with girls as young as 7, which may include vaginal penetration, cunnilingus and anal and oral sodomy. Any of this is done as carefully as possibly, though, to avoid injury to her and minimize pain. This is a crucial distinction from `child abuse', and this early sexualisation of the female is not seen as an `atrocity'. It is seen as nature's way. A lot of men want it, and feel they have a kind of moral right to it, since little girls are so damned beautiful. Into the mix is arranged child-marriage, such as the one I have had to 9-year-old Amy. Obviously all this is not the child's `choice', and she certainly cannot fully comprehend the implications for her life. She is literally having her personal life mapped out for her at this very early age. Sex is foistered upon her, and her learning curve can be steep and distressing at first. However, if done with love, she'll come to accept it - because it's all she knows. It's `the way of things'. This profound removal of choice in her own destiny can only be justified if we believe the female is indeed a second-class citizen (but adored), with the men's needs a higher priority. And they ARE a higher priority - simply because the male sex drive is so much stronger. This is `fairness', and an exact reversal of conventional society. 22. Simulated Passions. Not as clinical or boring as it sounds, and certainly very real! By `simulated', I refer to the need to `pretend' or substitute in some way for the energetic and passionate fucking that characterises an adult sexual relationship, but which is physically impossible to do with a little girl under 12 without inflicting horrible damage. The context of love - particularly newly-weds - obviously makes this type of expressive sex even more necessary. My feelings for Amy were no different to this, notwithstanding the element of `child-abuse' guilt. I developed two principle ways around this. The first was a grind-fuck in missionary position, in bed. To all intents and purposes, everything was as a real adult love-making FUCK: the kisses were the same, the caresses and gropes, and the grunts from me, and the action of my adult hips and torso and the quality of my hard-on. The differences were that my cock rubbed along her vulva instead of going in, that her face was only at my chest-level, and unlike a woman she did not fully understand what was going on, especially in the early weeks. However, it did not hurt her - the occasional thigh bruising aside - and her distress was only psychological (my weird emotions, the intensity of it all), but she got used to it, as well as the sensation and smell of semen on her body. 23. The Celebrated Paedophilic Bum-Grind. This was the second principle method of catharsis for my aggression and passions. I say `celebrated' because, as I soon discovered on the island amidst new pedo friends, the concept of grinding up on a little girl's naked bottom to achieve satisfaction is nothing new or unique WHATSOEVER. It's an age-old pedo method, and another way besides the above to avoid hurting the child whilst still getting the feeling you've given her a good fucking. In this case bum-fucking, but without the delicate challenge of penetrating her actual anus. I specify `paedophilic' because obviously this act can be and is done on grown women, but it undoubtedly carries a different flavour with a little girl. For a start there is the exquisite joy of our contrasting sizes, never better highlighted than when she is on all fours - all skinny 4-foot or so of her - with the man's adult frame settled in behind and enveloping her in some controlling but gentle clasp. The scene is made more candid still by the erect penis, replete with ball-sack hairs, being significantly bigger than the smooth buttock-valley it is running along. I developed the habit of taking off Amy's headband - her last item of clothing - only when I was in position and beginning motion. In this way her free golden hair stirred me further. Sessions were characterized by stress from her if I my bumping was too hard, but also girlie giggles at the `silliness' of it. 24. My Experience of Child Orgasm. Rather, `my experience of Amy's experience of child orgasm'. That is to say, in so far as I observed in my time with her, to what extent could and did a 9-11 year old girl achieve orgasm? Furthermore, did I witness any difference over the course of that time? The answer to the latter is `yes', although it's hard to say whether it was practise that brought this about, or the fact of her body maturing a little. At 11, she still had no hairs to speak of, had not bled, but did have visible breast mounds. I suspect, therefore, it was mostly our `practise' that brought forth her fledgling orgasms. Needless to say, penetration, no matter how gentle of whether finger or penis, did little but serve my own pedo-lust. Early on, however, I found to my delight that she could indeed enjoy cunt-attention. Kissing nor caressing anywhere else on her body, including tits, never did seem to activate her hormones. It was purely and simply gentle and patient clit-work that did it. It was a fine art locating it in her tight little puffs, and the miniature folds within, but I became adept at diddling her with fingers or tongue. The best indicators were a little moistness in her hole (odourless), and cute, louder exhalations, together with thighs twitching. Sometimes she would giggle or squeak but it was hard to tell if this `specific' to orgasm. I had to be very patient... 25. Give and Take. I did not always have patience to `bring her to it', as we called it. It was hard to ignore my own lusts, and sometimes I would break off before she was `there', and I'd have my depraved hard-core completion. I tried to give her `the fun' - as we also called it - at least twice a week, though. It was vital to her accepting sex as something that could be good, and a proper male-female relationship - indeed husband-wife - ought to be healthily vaginal-orientated. The fact of her being a 9-year-old wife did not alter this logic. With this in mind, I developed an ethos of `give and take' with her, whereupon I did things exclusively for her pleasure in fairness for the things she did for me which were not always `nice' for her. This taught her very deeply the ethic of marriage, and indeed taught me a thing or two too! A key session in the early days would be kneeling between her thighs as she lay on the edge of the bed, and nibbling and diddling her cunt for AGES, while promising there'd be no `unpleasantry' afterwards. I had to make good on my word, so she could relax enough to achieve her puppy orgasms. We often agreed she could finish me by hand-job after, but sometimes I could just wank myself to cum at the excitement of hearing her child-orgasm. I believe these types of session were the closest we came to `true erotic love' across our age-gap. 26. The Appeal of Anal Sex on a Child. It was inevitable I would want to try fucking Amy in her little child-bottom, probably quite regularly. I knew this before marrying her, hell before even setting eyes on her. Anal sex - that is, penetrating one's partner's very bum-hole with your penis - is not everybody's cup of tea, whether children are part of one's palate or not. It sure as hell is MY cup of tea, though. Female butts are glorious to me, an absolute vital part of their overall sexiness, and this applies to the small undeveloped ones of a preteen girl. In fact, it applies *particularly* to them. They are not necessarily `undeveloped', either, and the variety is fascinating, although less obvious than the variety in the sexually mature female body. A little girl's bum can have a certain feminine `shape' - it's in the hips, you know, their `angle' - but it usually does not gather puppy-fat until the onset of puberty, and sometimes not even then if she is a skinny minx. Amy was a typical as you can get: thin, small buttocks, but a sort of bubbly protrusion that is debatably different to most boys her age. Also, of course, very... very... smooth! Little girls being little girls, you'd think also that the sun itself shines out of her crack, and that her shit-hole smells of roses. The fact that this, realistically, cannot be true somehow only adds to the depraved urge to get at it... 27. Towards Anal Sex with Amy, at 9 years old. A typical 9-year-old really is an exquisite and delicate creature, smaller perhaps even than folk realise. I stress her age here, because I think part of the reason for the depraved urge I mention above is that it is perhaps the most taboo thing one can do with a child, especially one as sweet as Amy. I'm not sure: would the average non-pedo out there in the world be more appalled by the concept of an ejaculating penis in the mouth of a child, or one of them squeezed up her bum? It's been some time since I moved among that prohibitive world. It seems to me that anal is a statement of dominance, no matter how gently conducted. After all, `butt-fucked' is a metaphor for `badly treated'. Fellatio, on the other hand, even when performed/attempted by a child can be viewed as an act of `devotion' - a wife doing her loving duty to your penis. Amy had done this for mine at least 20 times before I could wait no longer, and I decided to finally, `properly', shag her arse after 6 weeks of marriage. I say `properly', because I had done exploratory poking - with fingers, cock, tongue even - over that time. These confirmed the expected anatomical facts: whilst the crack, `miniature' though it was, had some structure and flesh to enjoy, the hole itself was tiny, tight and wrinkled. It was the veritable eye of the needle through which to attempt passing the hard meat of my manhood. 28. Preparing for Anal sex with Amy, just 9 years old. I was struck by how `dry' it was too - I speak of Amy's little anus itself - in my early finger-explorations of it. I was doing this several weeks before actually attempting erectile fuck of it, usually with her settled face-down on the bed and butt in the air. The sphincter would clam around the pad of my finger as I toyed with insertion, the tender and darkened area of skin around it kind of frowning in protest at the incursion. The colour was not due to shit, I hasten to add, but just the natural tone of this intimate tissue. The smell and taste - or `lack' of - confirmed this too, so long as she had washed properly. It took me the best part of 2 weeks, actually, to overcome my hesitations in putting my tongue deep into her cleft and onto the asshole itself. The occasional distressing encounter with faeces flavour set me back a day or two, and I reprimanded her gently but firmly for it. Bum-licking thereafter became a standard part of my paedophilic sex-repertoire with Amy, and it often brought giggles from her especially once she'd got past the erotic shock of it. Not so for penetration, however, and this was to be clinical and never `easy' throughout our marriage. After she could at least `tolerate' with a cute flinching face 2 or 3 inches of my finger up her warm rectal insides, I decided I was good for go... 29. My 9-year-old wife consents to anal sex. As I said before, it had everything for me: total erotic taboo appeal, while also satisfying my anatomical curiosity, while also asserting my leadership in our relationship. I did not wish to be `violent', and I did not see it as violence, and I was reinforced in this view by the island's culture. I would achieve the deed with as much gentleness as possible, a necessity stressed by the islands' law codes. That said, Amy would probably not have agreed to it if I had given her a truly free choice. On a warm Friday evening in November, 6 weeks into our marriage, I told Amy of my intent. I asked her if this was `ok', and she - knowing her place in the sociological order - said a polite `yes'. She'd seen plenty of my erection by this time, so must have had some inkling of the sheer invasiveness awaiting her, by comparison with my finger-buggeries of her. She could not know exactly, though, and indeed I did not know exactly what to expect either. Only that it would be *tight* for sure, and that lube was necessary if I wanted to get any significant part of my penis in, and that it was a case of `proceed with care' if we were to avoid unpleasant injury. My place of choice was the living room carpet, and the prelude to it was lots of nude canoodling and kissing, including oral on her arse... 30. My first time of putting my cock in Amy's bum. Hell, it was my first time of putting it in ANY child's bum! It was a nice spring evening, as I grabbed the tube of baby-oil from the mantel-piece of our living room. I bade her to kneel over the seat of the sofa, which put her bum-passage at the best angle for my shameless erection, and I settled in behind. I pasted the oil into her crack thickly, and smeared my tool also. I prodded slowly, with measured pressure over several minutes, enjoying my tip nestling between each buttock. My tool looked grotesque or awesome there, depending on one's point of view. A little girl's bottom is probably not intended for this. Nevertheless, I built up the pressure sufficient to make her sphincter part. She twitched forward, winced and moaned as more of my rod gained access to her bowel, her wrinkled gate opening around it. I reminded myself that my invading organ was no thicker than a good turd, and that with insistence, care and the slithery oil she could take it. Everything - the entire concept, sight and snugness of it was too much for me - and I jetted off profusely when I was perhaps no more than an inch in her rectum proper. I guess it would be shocking to some - a naked, 41-year-old man gasping and tensing with his erect penis in the rear of a short, thin, girl-child. Then when I withdrew it... omg! * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * The next 10 to be posted in a day or two. Feedback welcome to ep1968@hotmail.co.uk100 Reminiscences of a marriage to a child (21-30)