This file is a part of Elf Sternberg's Collected Works on ASSTR.  The
complete archive of Elf's work can be found on his website at:

http://www.drizzle.com/~elf

The author can be contacted at:

mailto:elf@drizzle.com

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                            Memories Breaking

Journal Entry 133 / 00918

Elenya, Narnya 12, 00918

June 15, 2802

  Somehow, it doesn't feel like I'll be in your arms in a few days, but
  tomorrow we start out on the long journey to Pendor. I expect you'll
  be seeing our ship pull in about seven days from when you receive this
  message. You can check the schedule yourself; the ship we're taking
  is called the Off-Centaur.

  Yes, "we." Garth is coming along. It was a last-minute thing, but he
  decided to take his vacation time on Pendor; he's going for a full month
  vacation, including two weeks of flight time, so a total of six weeks.
  It's pretty expensive, but since I've already got tickets I'm helping
  him along.

  I'm sorry Kiza and you had your fight, but I'm glad you two patched
  things up, and I hope she's really ready like you say she is to deal
  with me taking up most of your time for a while. There's this whole
  range of stuff you and I are going to have to talk about when I
  get there.

  Like Liz. She's become very important to me as a friend and as a
  lovemate, really. Neither she nor I would ever let myself choose her
  over you; she's got too much self-respect for that. But I want to
  put that "on the table," so to speak, that she's a friend and she's
  important to me. I want us to agree on how we're going to deal with
  "outside" lovers when I get there, because somehow I feel there will
  be others we'll want to have in our hearts and against our bodies the
  way I have you, and the way you have Kiza and I, Liz.

  I love you, Furry, and I always will. Don't ever forget that; you're
  the most important person in the universe to me. I can't wait to see
  you; already I can remember, clearer than in months, the smell of your
  clean fur and the feel of your ears flickering. I miss you.

  Love you,

  Nickolai.

  p.s. Since he's coming along, you can ask him yourself what he does
  when I tell him that you and Kiza are sleeping together.

  ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Nickolai felt warm hands on his back as he sat on the edge of the bed. It
was just an hour before dawn, and he couldn't sleep. "Nickolai?"

He turned around and smiled sadly. "It's nothing, Liz. I just keep
thinking about all the changes that are coming."

She nodded. "I wouldn't dream of asking you to reconsider."

He laid back down beside her and kissed her cheek softly. "Thanks. I
appreciate that."

Her hands roamed over his body, caressing the skin of his chest until they
came to rest on his flaccid penis, which she began to stroke back to life.
"We've only been together six times in the past year and a half, Nickolai.
But from what you've told me of Furry, the amount of time we've spent
adds up to all the time you spent with her. I don't know if that means
you put me somewhere on a spectrum near her or not. But I want you to
go through with your original plan, Nickolai."

He felt the blood coursing back into his groin. "Any reason why?"

"I just feel that it's right for you. You made promises, Nickolai, and
you've always kept your promises to me. If I asked you to break your
promise to Furry, I would be asking her to accept something I never had
to, and I would be destroying your honor. I don't think I could ever
ask for that."

He leaned close and kissed her cheek; she turned her head and demanded
his kiss on her lips, which he gave. Their tongues wrestled between their
mouths, tasting lips and teeth as well. Elizabeth moaned softly as his
fingers dug between her legs, pressing against her lips, already coated
once in their juices from lovemaking earlier that night. "You know, Liz,
you've been the best friend I could have asked for the past two years."

"What about Garth?"

"Garth is a roommate, and besides, neither he nor I really likes guys.
He's going with me, you know."

"You didn't tell me that," she said, her fingers encircling his testicles
and scratching playfully.

He gasped, inhaling deeply. "Wow. Yeah, he said he always wanted to
visit Pendor, so he's going with me since I have a native guide."

"That's really sweet of you," Liz said. Her hands both worked over
Nickolai's firm cock. "Are you ready for another round?" she asked.

"With you?" he asked. "You've gotta be kidding. I'm definitely ready
for another round."

She smiled as her hands worked along the length of his shaft. "You know
what I love about your cock? It's so normal. So many guys I know are
getting those length-increases or thicknesses and I just can't stand it."

"I think I'd be scared to let someone or something close to my dick with
a knife," Nickolai joked.

"You know what I want?" she asked, her voice developing a soft, husky
flavor to it.

"What?" Nickolai said, his head starting to swim with desire for her. If
she didn't stop, he was going to throw her on her back and take her hard
in about ten seconds.

"I want to do something nasty for a going-away present. Something nice
people don't do." She pushed him down onto his back with one free hand
and leaned over, her face inches from his. Her lips curled into a snarl.
"Nickolya," she said, her voice deep and purring, "I want you to fuck me
in my tight little asshole. I want you to take that natural hard cock
and give me a buttfucking so deep and so hard that a week from now I
won't be able to sit down without remembering you."

He grinned and rose up, pushing her down onto the bed. "Roll over, Liz.
That wish is definitely my command."

She rolled over as he directed, face-down to the bed and her legs spread,
the natural tension of her thigh muscles shoving her ass into the air
invitingly. "Have you got anything to lube this with?"

"There's baby oil in my bag," she said. "By the bed."

He leaned over and found her bag. He tore it open and the bottle was
large and easy to find. He poured some onto his hands and began stroking
his cock, watching as his cock grew shiny and slick in the pale light
filtering through the dormitory window. He poured some down the crack
of her ass, watching as it collected in a tiny pool over her anus. "Get
ready," he said.

"I am," she breathed.

He leaned forward, his hard cock aimed directly for her asshole. He
watched as it touched her hole, and he began pressing. She moaned
into the pillow. Slowly he felt her rear passage opening up to him,
and he could feel the length of it gripping his pole, holding him as he
penetrated deeply into her. Suddenly he was buried within her asshole,
his hips against her upturned buttocks. The searing heat of her rectum
pressed from all sides against his cock, the tightness of her opening
gripping the base of his shaft. "Oh... Nickolai...."

He slowly began withdrawing. She was so tight her anus tugged on his
foreskin, making it seal up around his cock as he withdrew. He gasped;
her asshole was incredibly tight and unbelievably hot. The position was
just perfect. He slid down into her again. "Oh, yes," she gasped.

"You like that?"

"I love that," she moaned. "Please, do it again, Nickolai, do it harder."

He smiled as he watched his cock withdraw from her asshole, then plunged
in again. "Yes!" she groaned. "Oh, yes..."

He took that as a hint and began to fuck her, gently at first, but he
wasn't waiting between strokes to make sure she was okay. He was sure she
would tell him if things got to be too much. His strokes became harder
as she urged him on, grunting and groaning. He could see her, her head
turned against the pillow, a chunk of fabric gripped in her teeth, sweat
pouring off her temples. He looked down to see her perfect ass ripple with
every impact of his hips against them, his cock buried deep within her.

His first orgasm had been hours ago, and he often prided himself on
being able to come more than once in a night, but tonight he found
himself teetering on the verge of orgasm constantly, never quite getting
there. He pressed himself onwards, feeling the great pressure welling
within him as he shoved his cock deeper into her asshole, up into her
guts. She growled and gnawed at the pillow. "Oh, Kolya, yes..."

His cock began to hurt; he had been hard for almost too long, but he
felt that if he kept pushing he could make it... if he could just get
that one last moment of feeling.

He began to pound against her, his hips slamming against her buttocks,
jamming her body against the squeaky bedframe, and finally he came,
exploding within her, filling her asshole with his come as he felt it
shoot out of him, over and over. He growled, his teeth clenched as his
cock jerked and spasmed inside her ass.

"Liz..." he gasped.

"Will that help you remember me?"

"Oh, Elizabeth, I don't think I'll ever be able to forget how that felt."
He rolled off of her slowly, feeling his cock seemingly "pop" out of
her asshole as he did so. "Wow."

She reached back with both her hands; he watched, fascinated, as she
rubbed her buttocks. "I know I'm going to be feeling that for a week,"
she said. "I'll be lucky if I'm not feeling you a month from now."

He pulled her close. "Liz, that was wonderful."

She giggled. "I'm glad you liked it; I've never done that before."

"What?" he asked. "You're kidding."

"I was playing with myself, in the shower, with my fingers, back there
and it felt good. I figured asking you was the next step."

"God, Liz, I wish you'd told me. I would've been gentler."

"And if you had been gentler, Kolya, I wouldn't have found out how
wonderful it really is. That was beautiful."

"Wow... I mean, thanks, Liz. I don't know what I can do..."

She stroked his cheek with the back of her hand, a small grimace crossing
her face. "Cramp," she said. "That's new. Nickolai, just by being the
gentleman you are, you've done enough. I'm going to send you on your way
at noon, you know. Make Furry a good mate, for as long as you both last.
Understand?"

He nodded. "I won't forget you."

"I don't expect you to," she said. "I won't forget you either. Maybe..."
She let her words trail off.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Tell me."

"No, Kolya. Drop it. Let's just get some sleep, okay?"

He nodded, his body demanding sleep as he felt himself growing more and
more tired. She pulled him close, down into the quietus of exhaustion. He
closed his eyes.

  ----------------------------------------------------------------------

They stood on the tarmac facing each other. Garth had grabbed his suitcase
and put it aboard the airvan that was to take them to Heathrow. "Come
on, Kolya!"

He ignored his Katckin friend for a moment, reaching up to touch Liz's
cheek with the backs of his fingers. "This is good- bye."

"Yeah," she said, smiling. "I can still feel you inside me. I'll miss
you."

"I'll miss you too." The wind whipped past them, most of it from the
ducted turbines of the airvan. "Look, about last night... You're retaining
your Terran residency, right? I mean, you're not going Hallwalking,
you said. So... maybe someday, if I'm not busy, I could look you up and
get a contract out of you, maybe?"

Nickolai's jaw dropped. He recovered gracefully if not quickly. "I'd
like that," he said, raising his voice over the rising whine. He reached
into his carry-on bag and dug around for a moment. Finally, he said,
"Here, take this. You and I both know it's pretty meaningless as is,
but I want you to have it."

"This is your Right of Replacement Reg Card."

"So I lost it, or it was stolen, or something. It's just fast symbolism. I
can get another one based on a minorly comprehensive DNA scan. Keep that
one. You can return it to me, if you're ever serious."

"Kolya! They're closing the door in one minute!" Garth's voice was
becoming frantic.

"I'm so glad we're handling this like adults!" Liz shouted over the
growing whine from the airbus.

"Fuck adulthood!" Nickolai replied. He pulled her close, his lips pressed
hard against hers for one last time. "I love you, Liz."

"And I love you, too, Nickolai. Take care of Furry; she deserves a man
as good as you are!"

"I will!" he promised. "Good-bye!"

"Bye! she shouted as he turned on his heels and ran for the door of
the airvan. He vaulted the steps two at a time, and as he crossed the
threshold, the door closed behind him.

He found a seat inside, next to Garth. "That was cutting it close,"
the Katckin observed dryly.

"I had a lot to say," Nickolai replied, looking out the window. As
the bus lifted into the air, he could see Liz down below them, one hand
covering an ear to protect it, but the other waved slowly. He waved back,
and smiled to himself.

"I have created a monster," Garth said.

"How so?"

"Well, when I set out to cure you of the mopin'-bout-my-girlfriend blues,
I didn't expect you to get yourself entangled with two different women."

"I'm not entangled," Nickolai said. "I'm just... involved."

"Involved, entangled, whatever. Was that your RoR card I saw you hand
her?" Nickolai nodded. "Cheap symbolism without an official registration."

"That's what I told her," Nickolai said. "Still, she can always pop back
into my life someday and maybe then..."

"Maybe. So, are you ready for Pendor?"

"Absolutely," Nickolai replied.

  ----------------------------------------------------------------------


Original document is available from:
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The Journal Entries of Kennet R'yal Shardik, et. al., and Related Tales
are Copyright (c) 1989-2000 Elf Mathieu Sternberg. Distribution limited
to electronic media not-for-profit use only. All other rights are reserved
to the author.
