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Tuck Your Hair Back -*- Copyright 2001 by Ellen Hayes.

Any resemblance between the writings in this work, and any actual
persons or places, living or dead, are purely coincidental, except when
used for satirical purposes.

This work contains adult situations, adult language, adult concepts, and
possibly sex.  If you are legally not allowed to read materials
containing such things, then you will be breaking the law by reading
this.  I am not responsible.
Continuing to read this document, or storing it or reproducing it
in any format means that you explicitly affirm that you are legally
allowed to possess and read such materials in your city, county/parish,
state, and country.

All rights reserved.  See the bottom for distribution rights.


Tuck Your Hair Back


***
23:20 31 Jul

     It was Susan, and I almost screamed, "WHAT?!" at her.
     The reason I didn't, was that I could see tears streaming down her
face.  And that scared me awake.
     "Susan?" I said instead, as softly as I could manage.
     She just kind of moaned or whimpered unintelligibly at me, and
reached out her hands a little bit towards me, like she wanted a hug but
was scared to touch me, or move.
     "Suze, come on," I said, reaching out myself and hugging her.  She
started crying, really crying then, and I pulled her into my room and
kicked the door shut before guiding her to the side of my bed where we
could both sit down.
     "Susan?" Amy asked, and then she was on Susan's other side, holding
her too, and Susan really let go.

***
23:42 31 Jul

     "Nightmares," Susan choked out.  "Carlo..."
     I felt the surge of black-red rage I usually felt at any reference
to that topic, but I banked it, deliberately relaxed my body, and held
her a little tighter.
     Amy's mouth was opening to ask the question, and I shook my head
and silently mouthed, "Later."  If I thought too much about it I'd break
something, and comforting Susan was the important thing right now.

***
00:04 1 Aug

     "'Just' nightmares?" I checked, and Susan nodded.  "Stay with us,
in the middle.  We'll keep you safe tonight, okay?"
     Susan nodded again, silently, and Amy and I helped her into bed and
then wedged ourselves on either side of her.  I don't know what Amy was
doing on her side, but on mine, I was holding Susan's hand in one of
mine, just letting her know I was there.

***
01:44 1 Aug

     Susan convulsed awake, which woke me up instantly.  I shot up in
bed and scanned my room as I slid off, and didn't see anything unusual
or moving, and the house monitor was dark and cold like it should be in
deep night.  "Two up, clear," I said for Susan's benefit.
     Susan noisily let out the breath she'd been holding.
     "Huhhhh?" Amy moaned from the other side.
     "Go back to sleep, Amy, s'cool," I told her as I sat back down on
the bed and wiped Susan's sweat-soaked hair away from her face.
"Everything's cool," I repeated.  Susan's hand rustled in the covers,
and I caught it in mine and let her squeeze as hard as she wanted.

***
06:00 1 Aug

     My alarm went off and I think all of us screamed and lurched.

***
06:18 1 Aug

     "You coming to work with me today?" I asked as Amy and I traded
occupation of the bathroom.
     She made a face.  "No, I gotta cook and stuff for the camping
trip."
     "Oh...  I thought I'd be doing that all Saturday."
     She shook her head.  "Uncle Bill figures that since I'm here..."
     My father was a great proponent of slavery, as long as it was only
relative.
     She added, "You might have to take me to a couple of stores again,
though, tonight when you get home.  And, please don't just, you know..."
     I sighed.  "I won't.  I'll call and tell him I have stuff to-"
     Susan came out of my bedroom, which bothered me immensely for a
second until I remembered she'd been there under my permission.
     "Suze?" Amy asked carefully.
     Susan took a deep breath, then nodded at her.  "Lemme get ready and
I'll tell you about it, okay?  If you can hang out in the bathroom with
Tuck when he gets ready, you can do it with me too, right?"  Amy nodded.
     "You sure?" I confirmed.
     She nodded again at me.  "It was just some bad nightmares...  I'm
okay."

***
06:53 1 Aug

     A nice big sloppy broomstick skirt today, I decided, since I felt
kind of sloppy myself.  That and a blouse...

***
07:15 1 Aug

     I crossed my fingers and hoped he hadn't left y-
     "Hello?" Travis answered.
     "Travis, it's me, Val."
     "Whatsup?" he asked, sounding puzzled.
     I sighed.  "Kind of bad news..."

***
07:17 1 Aug

     "So like next Monday night, right?"
     "Yeah...  Travis, I really hate this, but..."
     "I know.  Me too."
     Pause.
     "Do, do..." he started then stopped.
     "What?"
     "Stupid question, never-"
     "What was it?"
     "Um...  Do you still have that, uh, bear?"
     I was currently wrapped around it while sitting on Rachel's couch.
"Yeah, why?"
     "I just thought maybe you could, you know, maybe-"
     "Maybe I could hold it and think of you?" I smiled.
     "I know it's stupid but-"
     "It's not stupid.  Is that what you were thinking?"
     Eventually, he softly said, "Yeah."
     "That's what I'm doing right now," I told him.
     "Really?"
     "Yeah..."
     "I miss you already."
     "Me too!"

***
07:51 1 Aug

     "All by yourself today?" Miz Parker asked, and I would have snapped
at her if I hadn't looked first and seen a rather gentle, non-scoring-
points sort of smile on her face.
     "Yeah," I said back, "last night was Susan's turn to have screaming
nightmares, and it's always easier to deal with someone else's.  I
actually feel sort of rested today."
     She made kind of a face at that.  "Valerie, can... can I ask you a
question?" she asked.
     "You just did," I smiled.
     She didn't smile back.  "A personal question?"
     "What is it?" I asked, not smiling any more either.  I'd had enough
personal questions and discussions to last me a long time in the past
few days.
     "You... it seems you mention having nightmares a lot, and now you
mention, your sister?" she asked and I nodded confirmation.  "Her having
them too," she continued.  "Is there..."  She trailed off.
     That wasn't as bad a question as I'd feared.  I replied, "Oh, um,
no, not really.  I mean, if you're asking 'Is there something at home
that makes us have nightmares all the time?', the answer's no.  She
just, uh...  I think some stuff over the last couple of days set off a
nightmare-recollection about something I can't discuss, but it's... the
doctor said to expect nightmares for a long time."
     "What happened to her?" Miz Parker asked, looking a little worried.
     "I can't talk about it, and I'd rather not think about it," I said.
"Something that she didn't deserve happened to her.  That's all I'll say
on it."  Time to get off that topic before I detonated.  "Um, me..."  I
shrugged.  "Always had 'em.  Evil nasty ones, the wake-up-screaming
kind.  Sleeping around someone I trust, like Susan or Mike, or Amy,
keeps 'em away though.  I guess I can sense 'em in my sleep, tell that
someone's there to keep me safe.  Mom and Dad too, I mean they keep 'em
away too, but it's been a long time since I crawled up in their bed when
I was having them."
     Miz Parker sighed sadly at me, and I thought she was going to say
something but she didn't.
     "Anyway, um..."  I ran out of things to say, and shrugged instead.
     "Have they gotten any better since you've been growing up?" she
asked.  "The nightmares?"
     I thought about it.  "Sometimes, but when I get stressed out, they
come back.  S'why I like having a nice calm life," I smiled.
     "Oh, yeah, like sitting all four kids all day," she chuckled back.
     "Believe me, THAT is a piece of cake."
     "Cake?" Ricky asked as he came into the kitchen.
     "You wish!" I said.

***
08:02 1 Aug

     "Well?" I asked the boys.  "What'cha want for breakfast today?"
     "Sausage and biscuits and gravy," Gary said confidently, and the
other two nodded when I looked at them.
     I eventually got out, "You're kidding, right?"
     "No!"
     "You ASKED what WE wanted," Ricky pointed out.
     Pause.
     "Brown gravy or cream gravy?" I finally asked, for lack of anything
better to say.
     "What's the difference?" David asked.
     "Duh, one's brown and the other's cream," Gary sneered.
     "Shut up!" David suggested.
     As that degenerated into the usual, I stepped around them and went
to go look in the pantry for cream gravy ingredients.

***
08:06 1 Aug

     "You're kidding," Dad told me after a pause.
     "I wish I was, man," I sighed into the phone.  "Can you just page
me the recipe?"
     Dad whined, "How come those kids-"
     "Shoulda paid me more," I smirked.

***
08:09 1 Aug

     My pager buzzed, and when I pulled it out it said:

     TTTKIDTTT MESSAGE BLOCK FOLLOWS X TSIXT X BREAK X

     and then the recipe followed.  In caps-and-smalls, I noticed,
instead of the all-caps my dad always used.  "Nutcase," I commented to
myself.

***
08:33 1 Aug

     "What is taking so long, they said to ask," David said, peering
around the door at me.  He looked like he was ready to run for it if the
answer to his question turned out bad, which was a smart idea since
bothering the cook often led to such things.
     "Biscuits and gravy, remember?" I smiled at him.  "Remember that's
what you wanted?"
     He sighed unhappily and left.  I chuckled for a while.

***
09:20 1 Aug

     Despite the cooking delay, they seemed satisfied as they snorted
and gobbled like small pigs at the trough.
     Ricky looked up long enough to ask me, "Aren't you going to eat
some?"
     "Oh, yeah," I said, and had a few more bites off my plate before
losing interest again.

***
12:11 1 Aug

     "Oh, I wish today was over so I could go home and go to sleep," I
told Stella, who drooled sympathetically at me.  "You're gross," I
mentioned as I blotted her face, and she giggled and blew spit
everywhere.
     Ricky paused in his eating to mention, "That is so gross."

***
17:04 1 Aug

     I had just finished changing into the cleaner skirt and blouse I'd
started with, after an afternoon of 'self-defense' that had me feeling
like a dog's chew toy, when my pager went off.
     *Oh, that's right,* I remembered as I dug for it, *Travis was going
to-*
     It wasn't Travis' number, and it wasn't the rec center number
prefix.  In fact, it was my own room voice line.

***
17:06 1 Aug

     "Hello?" asked Amy.
     "Amy, it's me," I said.  "Whatsup?"  *Please don't let it be
another problem, please-*  She sighed ominously.  "Oh no-"
     "It's worse than that."
     "WORSE?!" I complained.
     The multiple giggle signatures on the other end of the line told me
that yes, it was worse.

***
17:08 1 Aug

     "NO!" I protested.  "I need to work on the trip stuff!"
     "We asked your dad already," Sabrina told me, "and he said he'd let
you and Amy go for the night if you wanted!"
     "And you need a haircut," added Amanda.
     The thing I hated most about multiply conferenced calls, was the
way it allowed more than one of them at a time to do things like this.
     "And," Kathy inserted, "we need to meet this Travis dude."
     My hair flipped up as my heart struggled to get out of my chest and
I said, "Aug ng!" in utter panic.
     "I know this wasn't your idea," Amy growled.
     "Ahhhh," I whimpered as I semi-decided to sit on the floor quickly
before I passed out.
     "Kim told us!" Sabrina giggled.
     "Ahuh," I agreed limply as I decided to lie down instead.
     "Tuck are you standing up?" Amy accused.
     "No?" I hesitantly admitted.
     "Good," she said.  "I really think this is a stupid idea."
     "Me too," I said, confident of one thing.
     "You should've thought of that before Kim went to pick him up after
work!" someone said gleefully and the giggles started.  Amy started
yelling, at them, and I lurched up and hung up the phone so I could
start banging my head against the side of the kitchen cabinet.
     Sometimes, there just wasn't anything else you could do.

***
17:10 1 Aug

     Ricky asked from behind me, "Why are you banging your head like
that?"
     "I'm having a bad day," I told him.
     Pause.  I resumed.
     "Your pager's going on," Ricky said.
     He meant 'off' but I didn't feel like correcting him.  "I know."
     Pause.
     "Would you stop that?" Ricky requested.  "It's scary!  Can I give
you a hug instead?"
     I stopped, and thought about it a little too long, because he gave
me one anyway.
     This was actually the best thing that had happened to me all day
long.  That was sad.

***
17:13 1 Aug

     "Wanna come watch cartoons until you go home?" Ricky offered.
     "I'm not going home tonight," I sighed, but got up anyway.  I
also snagged my pager on the way up, and when we were sitting in front
of the television, I cleared out all the messages I'd been sent in the
last fifteen minutes, which took a while because they kept sending them,
and then when I had it cleared out for a moment I turned it off.

***
17:41 1 Aug

     "And, remember, next Monday," I told Miz Parker, "Kim should be
showing up, but I should be back the Monday after that.  Hopefully
rested a bit too."  We had the last half day scheduled for inventory,
cleaning, gear replacement, and suchlike, which hopefully wouldn't even
take up four hours.  Which would mean that I could actually sleep most
of the night before returning to work.
     "Good," was Miz Parker's opinion.  "Be careful, and don't let the
bears eat you!" she smiled.
     If there had been bears, at least the mood I was in now, I probably
would have ignored them and they would have left me alone if they were
smart bears.  But I smiled and nodded for her benefit.
     A honking outside caught my ear, and then grabbed the rest of me
and pulled me over to the window because that sounded somehow like
teenage-friend honking, loud and long and repetititititive- *I need some
more sleep,* I realized, *if I think that's funny...*
     Not that I was going to get any for a long time.

***
17:43 1 Aug

     "Why did you hang up on us?" Sabrina asked as I trudged out to my
car.  Amy was perched on a fender like a sulking vulture.
     Which fit, because I felt like dead meat.
     "Because I was tired of talking," I said.
     "Val," she complained.  "Come on, it's not that bad!"
     I still remembered the high speed multi-mode interrogation I'd
gotten when they found out I was dating Debbie.  "Yes it is."
     "Valerie," she said at me.
     "What?"
     "This is the first guy you've dated, right?"
     I sighed.  "Yeah and?"  I still felt vaguely embarrassed about it.
     "So your judgment can't be that good yet, and we have to look him
over first.  Besides, we always do this to guys we don't know about."
     "Why?"
     "Because we care," she said neutrally as we made it to my car.
Escape was so close...
     I took a deep breath so I could sigh again.
     "This wasn't my idea either," Amy said sourly as she slid off.
     "Then- and it's an honest question," I said to Amy, which meant
'I am not doing this to piss you off so don't start screaming at me',
"then why did you come out here with them?"
     She shook her head at me.  "I dunno...  Stick together and all
that," she said eventually.  "That's why I called Mike."
     "Oh God."  This was going to be one hellacious evening.
     "So how was babysitting today?" Sabrina asked brightly.

***
17:47 1 Aug

     "Val, I thought..." Travis started as he came up to me.
     The girls closed in behind him, and my instincts told me to scream
'RUN FOR IT!' but it wouldn't have done any good.
     "That was MY idea, but I got overruled by the people who are
actually in control of my life," I told him.  "Them," I pointed.
     "Val, that's not fair," Kathy said.
     "Damn straight it's not!" I agreed.  "I don't go kidnapping YOUR
boyfriends!"
     "What?" Travis asked after he looked around and realized he was
surrounded.
     "We just wanted to talk to you for a while, get to know you since
you're dating Valerie," Kathy smiled at Travis.  He was one of the few
people in town, or the state, she had to actually look UP at, but that
didn't seem to cramp her style of intimidation any.
     "Plead the Fifth," I suggested.
     "Valerie," Kathy said to me, like she was my mother and I'd said
something mildly wrong and she was smilingly correcting me.  It made me
want to have a tantrum.
     "And you do need a haircut," Jill mentioned.
     "Et tu, Jill?" I complained.  I knew that much Latin.
     "C'mere," Amy suggested, and I looked at her and motioned at
Travis.
     "Val, I'll be okay," he said, patting me on the shoulder once
before stopping and glancing at Amy.
     "And we don't need you for this part," Sabrina told me as Kim came
up, holding-
     I snatched the thermos from her, unscrewed the top, and had a nice
long slug out of it before anyone could stop me.  I thought it would
probably be a good idea.  Kim looked rather surprised when my head came
down again.
     "Under no circumstances give them your social security number," Amy
told Travis as she crooked her finger at me.  I handed the thermos back
to Kim with a fake smile and turned away.
     "They couldn't do anything with it except give it to me anyway," I
mentioned to Amy as I followed her away from the other girls for a
distance, keeping an eye on Travis just in case.  "Their understanding
of information warfare is really primitive."
     "Whatever," Amy said.  "Tuck, look," she said quietly.  "I know
what I said about you and him around me, right?"
     "Yeah, and I'm gonna-"
     She shook her head.  "Tuck, Val, whatever... I know you said you'd
stop around me, and I believe you meant it, but... I think the only way
that could work is if it was just you, or you and me and Travis, or
whatever.  Not with all of them hanging around," she gestured at all of
them hanging around.  "They'll push you into proving you two are dating
if you don't do it yourself.  An' they already made appointments for you
and me to get our hair done- Is the shop okay?"
     "Wh- the hair salon?"  She nodded.  "Yeah, I mean I'm not a hair
expert but they've done mine for, uh, like since Christmas or before or
something, and they do Jill's hair and coloring, so-"
     Amy glanced at Jill over her shoulder.  "That's not natural?"
     "Nope.  She's got dark hair, darker than yours.  So anyway, that's
how good they are, however good that is.  And it's like thirty for a
haircut, plus a tip."
     "Damn," Amy said admiringly.
     "Is that good?"
     "Compared to Law'nghailand," she said as she reverted to her
accent, "it's incredible, yeah."  I shrugged.  "Anyway, they said that
we should get cuts, then change there?"
     I nodded again.  "We've done that before.  They have a big room
upstairs, with mirrors and a bathroom and stuff."
     "Real mirrors, not one-way?"
     "The guy who owns it is gay, Amy; I don't think he'd want to watch
a bunch of girls dressing anyway.  I don't know if they're real or not,
but I don't think it matters."
     She nodded.  "And while we get cuts, they talk to Travis, and then
we all go out for dinner and then dancing."
     "Oh crap," I sighed.  "I am so tired..."
     "Yeah, well," she shrugged.  "Me too, and they seemed REAL
insistent anyway.  And I sort of figured, you know, at least _I_ know
about it, and it'd be easier to keep them offa you if me and Mike were
here to help out and watch your back and stuff.  As opposed to a week or
two from now, when they might just catch you alone or something."
     I sighed.  "I really appreciate it...  But, I mean, what AM I going
to do with him tonight?  I mean, I said, you know, with you, I mean..."
     She sighed back and shook her head.  "Do, I mean..."  She thought
about it.  "If you could just keep it light, I guess," she said.  "Like
we did, when we, you and me, went out this summer?  That'd be easier to
deal with.  And don't run off with him someplace, okay?"
     "Okay," I nodded.  "What about if I run away from the rest of the
Pack with him, but take you too so we can all get away?"
     "Take Mike too and ya gotta deal," she grinned, and we shook on it.
"Tuck," she said quietly and seriously again, "look, I mean, it's not, I
mean, it's not like I hate you for turning this way or anything, okay?
I just, I mean..."
     "I really didn't do this to throw it in your face or anything," I
told her apologetically.
     "I know," she admitted, "but it still FEELS that way, ya know?
Kind of."
     We both looked at Travis for a bit.  He wasn't screaming, and
neither were any of the Pack, so that was good.
     "And he is SO cute," Amy sighed longingly.  "And sweet..."
     "He does have brothers," I remembered, and she turned to look at
me.  "He said they were assholes, but you know, I say that about Brian."
     "Brian IS an asshole," she snickered.
     "And they're all older than him, I think," I also remembered.
     "Damn," she sighed, slumping again.
     "Maybe he knows someone, like in his school or something?"
     "Yeah, with what, a week and change left before I leave?  And we're
spending most of THAT hiking."
     "Shit," I commented.
     Mike's car approached.
     "I got us a curfew extension, until three," Amy told me.
     "Wonderful."
     "And," Amy sighed, "your dad said he got your email and he wants to
discuss your upcoming school and work with you this Saturday."
     "Oh, great, life gets better and better all the time," I said.
I was lying; I didn't feel that way at all.

***
17:53 1 Aug

     "Oh, mannnnn," Mike sighed as he ran his hand through his hair and
looked at the girls, or maybe at Travis.  "Somehow, I didn't really
think that when Kim said she'd tell them, that THIS would happen."
     "Me neither," Amy and I sighed at the same time.
     "Tuck, did you sleep last night?" Mike asked of me.
     "Started to, WANTED to, but I had to do a lot of shopping last
night for the trip, Mom weaseled out of it and I had to drive, and then
Susan had nightmares.  Got about six hours or so, maybe less."
     "Nightmares about..."
     "Carlo," I said, and Amy grunted in rage while Mike just got flat.
     Pause.
     "She told me about it before she left this morning, a little," Amy
said tensely, "and..."
     "If we catch him again he's a dead man," Mike said in that still
voice he used when he was utterly serious.
     "Can we change the topic before I lose it?" I asked.
     After a moment, Mike complained, "What the hell am I going to do
while you all get haircuts?  And why do I have to come along at all?"
     "To act in Tuck's best interests while he's getting a cut too," Amy
told him.  "And you can talk to me too or someth-  Damn, I'm getting one
too."
     "What time?" Mike asked.
     Amy answered, "Six fift-  Oh shit.  HEY WE GOTTA GO NOW TO MAKE IT
ON TIME!" she screamed as Mike and I scrambled.
     I scrambled back when I thought of something, though.  "Amy?  Could
you ride with Travis, and keep an ear on things for me?"  She nodded.

***
18:16 1 Aug

     I was not the first one to get to the salon, which was bad because
we had so many cars with us that I had to park on the street this time.
I got my pack and rushed up, and caught some of them hanging out
outside.  "Hey Val!" Kathy smiled at me and pointed at Travis, who was
looking a little more stressed than he had when we left.
     "Yeah," I forced a smile.  "Travis?  You don't actually have to go
through this, remember?  I can hold 'em off while you run for it."
     He looked like he was seriously considering it for a moment, then
shook his head.  "It's okay, Val.  So far."
     I sighed.  I thought he was lying, but I couldn't prove it, and if
he didn't want to take the out I offered, there wasn't anything I could
do.  He was far too big to grab and run with, for instance...
     He opened his arms for a hug, which was a great idea, so we did
that for a while until I remembered I had an appointment.

***
18:18 1 Aug

     "Oh, he's running late," said the receptionist, whose hair was
white this time.  "About fifteen minutes.  You can wait in here..."

***
18:19 1 Aug

     Amy wasn't around at the moment, so I interrupted Sabrina, Kathy
and Julia by the simple measure of flinging myself at Travis.  "He's
running late," I said into his ear when he bent down and grabbed me and
lifted me off the ground so I could reach his face.  My comment made him
smile.
     "Affakeshunit lil' thang, ain't shee?" Kathy drawled in a Western
movie accent.
     "Ahyup," Travis drawled back eventually.  He looked cute, or cuter,
when he blushed.
     "Ahhhhyup," I agreed.  I hoped I looked cuter.

***
18:24 1 Aug

     We'd moved inside after a check revealed that there was an entire
unoccupied couch that we could take.  Travis sat in the middle, and I
sat next to him, and the other girls started scrounging chairs, but I
was more than surprised when Amy appeared and plopped down on the other
side of the couch and Travis.
     I leaned behind Travis and asked, "Whatsup?"
     "I had a thought," she grinned as she did the same thing.
     "Uh oh, what?"
     "Maybe, since I don't have enough vacation left to have a real
boyfriend, that I could share him?  With you?"
     Pause.
     "WHAT?" Travis and I said at the same time.  He twisted his own
head to look at her, which meant that I had to move forward again to
keep watching her.  "Are you crazy?!" I asked.
     "I mean, you know, he could dance with me and stuff, maybe even-
Ooooh," she faked astonishment by waving her hands around her face,
"hold my hand?  Maybe even," she gasped, "TALK to me on occasion?"
     I started, "Amy-"
     "That'd be cool," Travis said.  I froze, and then had to check, and
the bastard DID have a straight face.  As my mouth fell open, he added,
"She's not real good at talking," and patted my leg.
     "You asshole!" I complained as I boffed his head.
     "Ha ha, thought you could keep him all to yourself," Amy jeered.

***
18:26 1 Aug

     Travis was sitting there, grinning, with one arm around each of us,
and Amy kept having to lean forward to show me that she could stick her
tongue out at me before leaning back against him.
     She didn't seem to be mad or upset at me any more, which was good;
instead, now I was sort of annoyed at her, which was easier to deal with
but still not optimal.  And I couldn't quite tell WHY I was annoyed,
which made me more annoyed of course.
     Mike came from somewhere, saw us, and stopped.  Then he said, "Oh
NO!" in this combination of resigned fear and irritation.
     "Amy's idea," I said instantly, and pointed to indicate which Amy I
meant, in case there was any confusion.  Amy just stuck her tongue out
and gave him a raspberry.
     "Argh!" Mike said as he clutched his head.
     "This gets more and more twisted as time goes on," Julia commented
to the world at large.

***
18:34 1 Aug

     "I mean," Amy said as we went to the bathroom and to get
anti-hair-bits drapes - why they kept them in the bathroom, I do not
know - to put on before we both started on our hair, or before they did.
"I mean," she said again, "that's all I really want right now, is
someone to spend time with and stuff, you know?  And to hang with you,
right?  Is, I mean, is it too much or too weird or something?"
     'Yes' was the obvious answer...
     Unfortunately, this idea of hers would sort of convert Amy from an
opponent of sorts into a supporter of sorts.  And I had to admit that it
wasn't that unreasonable, in a way...
     "Amy-  Oh, shit," I sighed as I realized how weird I was going to
sound.  "I, I mean, I... I want some time alone with him, okay?  I know
you're leaving soon and then I have him all to myself and so I should be
able to wait, but, I mean, at least one or two days before you go back,
okay?"
     She thought about it a moment.  "One," she bargained.  "Considering
how much time you could spend with him anyway before I leave, I don't
think that's going to crimp things that much."
     It would, because I had urges to tell Dad I was going to a boarding
school this year and move in with Travis; but rationally speaking, she
was right.
     That must be why it pissed me off like it did.
     "Okay, okay," I agreed before I got into an argument about it,
which I wanted to.

***
18:37 1 Aug

     "And how did you want your hair this time?" John asked after some
preliminary social handshaking.
     "Um, sort of the same as last time, something, you know, something
I can wear either way?"
     "I have JUST the style for you," he assured me flamboyantly.

***
18:42 1 Aug

     I very much liked having my hair shampooed and so on in warm water
by someone else, I decided.  Maybe Jill and Kim and I could trade off
doing this to each other and claim it was homework or something...

***
18:50 1 Aug

     Travis looked in and waved at me, and I started to involuntarily
smile as I waved back.  He grinned at me and disappeared.
     "Is THAT," John said admiringly, "your new boyfriend?"
     "Yeah," I admitted, starting to blush.
     "He is GORgeous!" John enthused.
     "Keep it down, wouldya?  I don't want anyone else to see him.  I
already have to share him with my cousin."
     "Do what," he said, shocked.  He even stopped playing with my hair.

***
18:52 1 Aug

     "Oh, okay," he nodded, and went back to giving me a haircut.  Or a
new style, or whatever.  "That's nice of you."
     "I think of it more as self-preservation," I said, and he chuckled.
"She was pretty upset when she found out."
     "About you and him?" he confirmed.
     "Yeah."
     "Jealous?"
     "Yeah, and some other things... that's why I can't really tell her
to take a leap on the sharing issue, though, ya know?"  He nodded like
he did.
     Pause, as he clipped hair.
     "So what ever happened between you and Miss Deborah?" he asked.
     I sighed.  "Bad stuff.  You sure you want to know?"
     "I already know her side, darling," he told me.  "I want to hear
yours."
     I sighed again.  "Well, you know we went to that convention,
right?  Back in June?"

***
18:55 1 Aug

     "So how did you get home?"
     I wanted to shake my head, but I wanted to keep all of my ears a
lot more, so I didn't move.  "I don't know.  I was in Los Angeles,
reading the note she left, and then I was back home a day and a half
later, having the freakout everyone said I didn't have in LA.  I mean,
no memories at ALL.  Thirty-six hours snipped out of my life."
     "THAT is SCARY, girl!" he told me, as if I hadn't known that.
     "That's one of the big reasons I don't want to talk to her ever
again, though," I explained.  "I mean, she shouldn't have done that,
just left like that.  I don't LIKE flipping out like that."
     "I bet not," he agreed.  "Could be hazardous to your health."
     "Yeah, I mean, anything could have happened!  And it was pure
coincidence that I'd run into a couple of people I knew there besides
Debbie.  I COULD have been all alone or something, and..."  Just
thinking about it made me kind of sick.  "And she might have done it
again if we'd had another fight, and it could have come out a lot worse.
It was probably safer in LA," I realized.  "At least there I don't have
the number of people who hate me that I do here."
     "Wh- oh.  School and stuff, your 'peers'?" he said ironically.
     I repressed a nod this time.  "Yeah.  You know, 'different is bad
and should be punished', right?"
     "I am so glad I made it out alive," he said wistfully, looking not
at me but probably back in time.  Then he shook himself and changed the
subject.  "Are you still taking that hair styling class this year?"
     "Yeah, can't get out of it at this point, but it's okay, Jill- the
one you keep dyeing blonde?" I checked, and waited until he nodded, "her
and another friend of mine are gonna be in it too, so it'll be okay.
And it works out with the rest of my schedule too."
     "Which way are you going?"
     "Huh?"
     "As a GIRL," he said patiently as if I was stupid, "or as a-"
     "Jeez, as- as a GUY!" I almost yelled.  "It's at the same high
school I've always gone to, duh!"
     "Well you COULD be changing there," he lied.
     "Yeah, and about three hours after I show up the first time, I get
assassinated.  Besides..."  I almost shook my head but stopped myself in
time.  Everyone thought I really had urges to do this girl thing for its
own sake or something.  People who went to church for a religion they
didn't believe in but their parents did, had problems understanding why
I was doing what I was doing, even though it was the same kind of thing.
     "I also thought you could be switching schools or something," he
said idly as he did things to my hair.  "That happens too."
     "Nope.  Same ol' McAllen," I sighed.
     "So you're not gonna try and transition there this year?"
     "Do what?"
     He stopped and looked at me for a moment, then resumed.  "Never
mind.  So anyway, looking forward to class?"
     "Kinda, I mean, it starts at seven in the morning," I said, and he
winced in sympathy pain.

***
19:27 1 Aug

     "And then just sweep it back, maybe put it into a little tail if it
gets in your way, when you're at school or wherever you need to be
butch," John instructed as he demonstrated and I watched in the mirror.
It looked okay like this, or at least not too dorky, and it looked even
better the other way.
     "Okay, so-"
     "So you need it to look FABulous for HIM tonight, right?" he asked
knowingly.  "OOOH, and I almost forgot, I have something for yoouuuu,"
he sang at me.

***
19:30 1 Aug

     "Why?"
     "Because, dear, you're growing underneath, and you don't want to
look too big or you'll REALLY catch their attention," John assured me.
     Great.  New slightly smaller breasts.  Just what every guy wants.
     I sighed and started digging in my bra, glad that I had stopped
using the glue a while ago.
     "Good GOD, girl!  Do you ever clean the glue off those?" he asked
as he recoiled from the first one I dug out.
     "Helps 'em stick better," I claimed.
     "Sink," he pointed, and I went to go clean them both off.

***
19:45 1 Aug

     "Wow," Travis said as he got up and looked at me, and my face
grinned spastically.
     "DIDN'T I tell you?" John flitted.  "Now go talk to Emmy about
those nasty dollar things, and have fun tonight, okay?"
     "Okay," I said, a little irritated with him because I'd said more
than I wanted to, due to the intoxication I was starting to feel.  Plus
the breast thing.  At least Travis didn't seem to notice.
     "And make an appointment for six weeks or two months to come back
for a trim, right?" he pressed.
     "Okay!"
     "Ole!" John cried as he did a little dance step and threw one arm
up into the air as he tossed his head.

***
19:48 1 Aug

     Travis asked cautiously after looking around, "Is, is he-"
     "Like a three dollar bill," Julia confirmed.
     "He's alright," I defended, then wondered why I was doing it.
     "But not someone you'd be pleased to find your son dating?" Julia
smirked at both of us.
     "A," I said, "if I had a son he'd be way too young to be seeing
ANYone at this point, and B, at least he's got a steady job!"  On the
other hand, C, he was way too amused at my life for my taste.
     "Val!" Sabrina called.  "Come on, get dressed!"
     "Oh shit!" I said because I didn't-
     She waved hangers with clothes at me.  "Got you AND Amy something,
come on!"
     I turned around to Travis, but he was already picking me up and
kissing me.

***
19:50 1 Aug

     "Oh-KAY, Val, we KNOW you're dating him already!" Sabrina said
impatiently from right behind me.  "Come ON!"
     Travis and I sighed as we broke, and he nodded at me and let go.
Sabrina grabbed on and then I was being pulled towards the stairs.

***
20:01 1 Aug

     "What I want to know is," Kim said from the middle of the changing
frenzy, "why does Travis keep showing up at the Parkers' place every
time he wants to see you?  Do you two meet anyplace else?"
     "I..."  I'd never thought about it.  "I dunno.  I guess..."
     "Probably more convenient for him, since he gets off at five
sharp," Kathy said as she wriggled into a dress.  "Gives him time to go
home, shower and change, and then meet her as soon as she gets out.
Someone zip me up?" she requested.
     "How do YOU know this?" I demanded.
     "What do you think we were doing while you were getting your hair
done?" Kathy asked back.  "Talking about sports?"
     "You did that too," Jill mentioned.
     "Just for a little!" Kathy said as an excuse.  "Would SOMEONE zip
me up?  Val, you're not doing anything, get over here."
     I sighed and got.  I had to admit, not only did she look good in
the black leather dress she had, but it sort of made her look like
someone I'd best obey.

***
20:21 1 Aug

     "Yeah, so-" Mike stopped whatever he was saying when the Pack plus
me and Amy entered the room, and that cued Travis to turn around.
     "Like it?" I asked, and Amy and I turned around and modeled at the
same time.  
     I wanted to kick Amy for showing off to Travis like I was, but I
didn't quite dare, since I was wearing a pair of strappy heels for the
evening and I wasn't quite sure of my balance.  I was, in fact, getting
more stoned as time went on, which probably hadn't been helped any by
the second, smaller dose I'd administered while changing.  Well, maybe
it had, depending on your definition of help.  I'd had to be careful
going down the stairs, and I counted on things getting a little worse.
     We had on matching mandarin-necked blouses - which took me a while
to figure out until I realized the mandarin part referred to the
government official and not the citrus fruit - in a very nice
blue-green, and tight short white-and-blue-print skirts, plus white knee
socks and almost identical shoes.  All of it newly bought by members of
the Pack on a shopping expedition this afternoon.  And the cost had been
extortionate, too; apparently I was no longer getting a clothing
subsidy.  I would have argued that since I didn't agree beforehand that
I didn't have to pay, but the outfit DID look nice...
     We had been adjudged 'disgustingly matched' by the other girls when
we finished dressing and doing makeup, and Jill had asked, "Are you sure
you two aren't identical twins?"  Which was funnier because she was
wearing the same thing we were except in red and black.
     Travis seemed to like the outfit(s) a lot, which was good.
     "MY hair is longer," Amy sneered at me.
     "Kiss my ASS," I said back.

***
20:28 1 Aug

     "Not rabbit food!" Travis protested.
     "Oh THANK you!" Mike cried out and flung himself in front of Travis
in obeisance.  Kim complained at that, as Travis stared.
     I said, "Well, he doesn't want rabbit food, so we have to go-"
     "Val!" Sabrina complained.  "It's not just 'rabbit food' there!"
     "YOU argue with him!" I suggested.
     "No, YOU argue with him," Kathy countered, "it'd work better coming
from you."
     "No!" Mike begged from the floor.  "For the love of humanity, don't
do it!"  He clutched my leg and whimpered at me.
     "Are you hungry, Mike?" I asked downwards.
     "Oh, man, like a bear," he said normally.
     "Let go of my leg and stop looking up my skirt you perv," I
suggested.
     "Nothing up there but cobwebs anyway," Mike retorted as he let go.
I chuckled; that was pretty good, even if it was completely untrue.

***
20:51 1 Aug

     "Table for nine, please," Kathy said to the host.
     "Do they have good food here?" Sabrina asked suspiciously.
     "It's good," Jill assured her.
     Amy poked her head around Travis' front from his other side and
stuck her tongue out at me.  I did the same thing back at her, then
snuggled against my side of Travis.
     "I am QUITE certain my life used to be more normal than this,"
Julia quietly mentioned to the world.  I laughed at her.

***
21:06 1 Aug

     "Would you two stop playing footsie?" Kathy complained.  "I want my
shoe back."  There were some giggles at that.
     I said, "I'm not-" before I realized what was happening and
stretched and leaned and reached behind Travis and boffed Amy hard in
the head.
     "Ow!  It wasn't ME!" she complained as she recoiled forward.
     "Well it wasn't ME!" I told her.
     "And it wasn't me," Travis informed both of us.
     Pause.
     We all turned and glared at Mike and Kim.
     "Hey, not me either," Mike said, holding his hands up in front.
Kim's head snapped around in shock-
     And Jill boffed KIM in the head and began complaining, "I thought
that was MIKE you slut!"

***
21:39 1 Aug

     "So?" I asked Travis.  "Better than rabbit food?"
     He nodded and continued eating.
     "It was a great idea I had," Amy said to piss me off.
     It worked.  "Fuck you, Amy!  This was my idea tonight, and Jill's
the one that found the place first anyway!"
     "Hey-  Uh-  Yeah," Jill said lamely as she was about to argue that
she'd found the place first anyway.
     "Eat yer food," Amy told me.
     "You wanna wear yours?" I suggested.
     Then Travis hugged me, and I presume Amy too from the noises she
was making, around the neck(s), and I got all nice and quiet and still.
He let me go before he did her.

***
22:39 1 Aug

     "Val, don't just play Hide-The-Tongue with him and stuff all
night," Amy yelled discreetly in my ear as I sat down on one of the
boxes Underground used instead of furniture.  "Please?"
     "Okay, I won't!" I said back.  Besides, I had to be home by three
anyway.

***
22:41 1 Aug

     I hadn't quite counted on Travis wanting to dance so bad that he
actually talked me into getting up and coming with him to the dance
floor.

***
23:12 1 Aug

     "I NEED TO REST!" I screamed at Travis for the fourth time, and he
finally nodded at me.  And Amy stuck her tongue out and kept dancing.
     I stumbled back to the box we'd claimed, and found Mike and Kim
sitting there, mouths wrapped around each other's ears as they tried to
have a conversation.  Kim was facing my direction, and she tapped Mike's
shoulder and they disengaged.
     <What?> Mike asked.
     <Tired,> I told him.  <Need to sit down.>
     <Where's the guy?>
     <A-M-Y,> I spelled out, and pointed towards the dance floor.

***
23:19 1 Aug

     "Could be worse," Julia said into my ear.  "Support group meeting
tonight, with my dad and them.  They missed last week 'cause of a
presentation at Dad's work, and so they're having it this week instead."
     I moved so I could say something in her ear and said, "Ooooh, what
fun, eh?"  I felt pretty confident in saying it since she was here and
not there.
     "Yeah.  And Debbie's there too, selling makeup, so YOU in
particular REALLY don't want to go there, you know?" she said back into
mine.
     "Right!" I agreed.  Though I was starting to run low on a few
things, actually.

***
23:21 1 Aug

     Travis came back to the box, almost steaming, and I waved
frantically at him, and whistled too in case he'd gone blind or
something.  Something worked, at least, because he came right over.  As
did Amy and Mike and Jill too.

***
23:28 1 Aug

     I hadn't thought it was going to work out, but I got to sit on
Travis' lap and rest while he had a conversation going with Amy and
someone else, and that wasn't bad at all.

***
23:49 1 Aug

     I did like dancing with Travis, though.  He was even better than
Mike.  And a fast beat was good.

***
00:18 2 Aug

     My stamina was almost gone, which was a terrible thing, since that
meant I couldn't dance as long as I wanted to.  I decided that it had to
be the stresses of the last week, since I'd been as active as ever since
then, and I hadn't eaten that much.  Maybe it was the booze.

***
00:40 2 Aug

     We'd ended up again at a very closed hair salon to trade off cars
and so forth, since Kim and Sabrina and Kathy had to be home relatively
early, at least compared to a couple of us.  Now we had Mike's car
parked right behind Travis', and we were lying either on the hood or out
the back tail of the Suburban, talking quietly in the dark.
     About camping, of all things.
     "That just seems like an awful lot of stuff," Travis was saying.
     "You're a Boy Scout," Jill mentioned.  "Whatever happened to 'Be
Prepared'?"
     "We found out how much stuff we actually needed, and since any park
around is going to have things like clean running water and stuff...
What?" Travis asked me as I chuckled.
     "Not all of them," I said.  "Besides, shouldn't you be teaching
them more WILDERNESS survival, not 'National Park survival'?"
     He was silent, unlike Jill and Amy who were giggling.
     "I wish they would, really," Travis finally said, "but it's hard to
do, especially in an urban area like this one.  I mean, where would we
go to find real wilderness, Canada?  And then most kids couldn't afford
to go anyway...  And scouting isn't supposed to just be for the rich
kids, you know?"
     I had to admit this was probably true.  I knew our gear was way on
the far side away from cheap.
     "I wish I could go," Jill said wistfully.
     "No you don't," I told her.  "It's a lot worse than running laps at
PE because it doesn't stop after an hour or two."
     "It still sounds like fun..."
     "Did I show you the scars I got last time?" I asked, propping
myself up on my elbows and twisting my neck into a pretzel so I could
glare at her.
     "What scars?" Travis asked.
     "You didn't show him your SCARS?" Amy faked being amazed.  "I
thought you were dat-"
     "Oh, the ones you showed me at that party, right?" Travis
remembered suddenly.  "Back in April, when you were talking about not
going camping again?"
     "Uh-  Yeah, those," I admitted as I unwound my head, amazed that
he'd remembered.
     "You two ARE gross," Mike commented.
     Pause.
     Mike added, "In case you were wondering.  You two are sending each
other cutesy messages in email or something too, aren't you?"
     I thought about the pager messages Travis would send, I guess at
the same time Travis did because I giggled as he chuckled.
     "Oh, God, I knew it, don't tell me about them," Mike complained as
he dropped his arm over his face and Julia and Jill both chuckled too.
     "You could send ME a cutesy email message if you wanted," Amy
mentioned.  "I just thought I'd mention that."
     "I thought," I lied, "you had all those pedophiles writing you from
when you worked at Freehold?"  Predictably, she sat up and hit me in the
head.  "Ow," I commented.
     "That'd be a definite no, there, Val," Mike felt he had to say.
     "Besides, they all wanted to talk to Mike, not me," Amy claimed.
     Mike thought for a few moments, then said, "My ass is tighter than
yours."
     After the laughter died down, it was quiet for a while.
     "It's nice, just sitting out here with friends and talking," Julia
said into the air, and there were gentle noises of agreement.  Including
from Travis, which made me feel good.

***
01:58 2 Aug

     Amy reached up and Travis bent down, and they kissed each other on
the cheek, and then Amy just hung there and hugged him.
     After about an hour, she let go of him and then motioned me in.
"Don't take all night," she said as I grabbed on to Travis and tried to
make up for the way the evening had gone, which had not been my idea.

***
02:16 2 Aug

     "Jeez, it's just a week!" Jill complained.
     "Shut up," I told her, and wiped my eyes and blew my nose again.

***
03:11 2 Aug

     As Amy practically crawled into the shower with me, I helped her
in, and then said, "Did it go okay for you?"
     She thought about it as she stood up, turned the water on, adjusted
the temp, and stood there with her face in it for a minute.
     "Yeah, it was okay," she finally said as she turned around.  "I
mean, it really IS a lot easier if I get to play too, kind of, you
know?"
     "I guess-"
     "Like with the girls at that sleepover we went to?" she mentioned.
"It was nicer being in the middle of them, than it would have been,
being apart from them, right?  Like if they made you sleep in another
room and stuff?  It was like you belonged, like you were welcome there,
not an unwanted outsider."
     "Yeah," I admitted.  "Okay, I get it."
     "Watching your friends date while you're single really and
immensely sucks," she said decisively.
     Pause, as we carefully traded places and she began pouring shampoo
into her hair and scrubbing it in as I wetted mine down.
     "He's really nice, though," she said.  "I can see why you like
him."
     I smiled and said, "He's really a peach of a guy."

***


Damn, I wasn't tired when I was asleep! - the SO


Distribution:
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+ ==[--------   Ellen Hayes   @>--,--'---      ellen@barkingduck.net +
PGP DH/DSS keyfing: 33D4 156A AE39 53E2 0313  6714 2878 56A8 61B0 9CDC
+ http://www.barkingduck.net/ehayes -=[1990]=- vicki .sig virus 11.4 +


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