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Tuck Blind -*- Copyright 1998 by Ellen Hayes.

Any resemblance between the writings in this work, and any actual
persons or places, living or dead, are purely coincidental, except when
used for satirical purposes.

This work contains adult situations, adult language, adult concepts, and
possibly sex.  If you are legally not allowed to read materials
containing such things, then you will be breaking the law by reading
this.  I am not responsible.
Continuing to read this document, or storing it or reproducing it
in any format means that you explicitly affirm that you are legally
allowed to possess and read such materials in your city, county/parish,
state, and country.

All rights reserved.  See the bottom for distribution rights.


Tuck Blind


***
07:56 28 Apr

     "So when is your dad gonna let you drive to school?" Mike asked as
I slammed my locker shut.
     "When hell freezes over, I think," I groused.
     "You need to get a car."
     "Duh!  I just don't know how I can afford one."
     Mike looked at me sideways as we started walking to class.  "Maybe
you should get a job this summer."
     "Maybe I should."  I punched him on the shoulder.  "You think the
FBI is hiring?"
     "You?  Ha!  One look at you and they'd toss you in the pen.  You
look too much like a lawbreaking anarchist rebel."
     "Me!" I complained.  "What about you?"
     He stopped and gave me an innocent look.  "Me?  I am merely a
humble Asian high school student with excellent grades and a great
desire to contribute to the United States, my country."  He put a hand
to his chest and started humming the national anthem.

***
08:02 28 Apr

     "What's with him?" George asked, pointing at Mike.
     "I accidentally hit his patriot button, now he's being the perfect
citizen."  George looked at Mike like he was crazy, which he was.  Mike
was busy reciting the preamble to the Constitution.  And bowing to no
one in particular.
     "At least we only have two more weeks of school left," Dan
mentioned.
     "Then finals," I added.
     Everyone who heard that, including a lot of people who weren't
supposed to be in the conversation, groaned.

***
14:53 28 Apr

     I was going to head to detention again, when I remembered that my
two weeks was finally up.  God, it had seemed like forever.  At least I
had been able to get my homework done, though - which meant that I could
do more hacking at night, when I was home and didn't have teachers
staring over my shoulder as I forged packets or whatever.
     Which meant, now that I was free again, that I had to start doing
homework at home again.  Bleah.

***
18:09 28 Apr

     Mom came back from the kitchen, which held the kitchen phone.
     "Who was it?" Dad asked.  Brian and I, in complete accord for once,
continued to stuff our faces.
     "It was Trish," who was most likely her sister and my aunt.  "She
forgot the time difference again."  Definitely Aunt Trish.  She never
could remember we were an hour later than she was.
     "What was she calling about?" Dad asked.  "Is everything okay?"
     Mom seated herself at the table again.  "Yessssss...."  She looked
at Dad.  "She was calling about Amy...."
     "Amy?" Dad and I both asked at the same time.  I caught Dad staring
at me out of the corner of my eye.  "Is she-"
     "She's alright... she was just wondering, if we still wanted to
take Amy for the summer-"
     "Oh Mom!" Brian instantly protested.  She'd held a disklike for
Brian ever since when he was four and threw a large clot of muck at her,
when she was dressed up to go out somewhere fancy "with the grownups."
She almost got away with making him eat what he'd thrown, too.

***
18:47 28 Apr

     "Eugene?" Mom asked.  "Would you feel alright about Amy coming down
for the summer?"
     I thought about it, like I'd been thinking about it over dinner.
When I wasn't throwing gasoline on the fires of Brian's discontent.
"Yeah," I finally said.  "She's okay, I mean I like her and
everything... it'd be nice to have her around, sort of."
     "Sort of?"
     "Well, I mean..."  Come to think of it, even though she was getting
more into girl things now, I knew more than I had a year ago.  And it
had always been fun to talk to her.  She was smarter than she looked.
"No, it'd be a lot of fun," I told Mom.  "I think Debbie'd like her, and
we could go do stuff, you know, like hang out or whatever."  Whatever it
was we crazy teenagers did when parents weren't watching, I meant.
     Although she wasn't really the sort to take along when, say,
executing a mailbox as a warning to someone.

***
20:09 28 Apr

     The phone flashed, so I flicked it on.  "'Lo?"
     "Um, Val?" Debbie asked cautiously.
     "What'sup, Deb?"
     "Ahhh...."  She sounded nervous.  This was a bad sign.  So was
calling me Val.  Oh, hell.
     "What issss it, Debbie?  What's going on?"
     She took a deep breath, then began speaking rapidly.  "Okay, I just
wanted you to know before I say anything that this wasn't my idea, I
didn't suggest it or anything like that, it's all her idea-"
     "WHAT is all WHOSE idea?"
     She took another breath.  "Remember Mrs. Parker?"
     "Yeah?  Oh.  Does she want me to babysit again?"  I sighed
silently.  The idea of a car was on my mind, not to mention my own CD
recorder, and things like that cost money.  And Miz Parker paid quite
well-
     "Um.  Sort of.  But you don't have to if you don't want to," she
shot out.
     "Sort of.  What?"
     She said desperately, "Val, I don't know how to ask this!"  This
was the second time she called me "Val" in this conversation.

***
20:12 28 Apr

     I stared at the monitors as I tried to figure out what to do.

***
20:14 28 Apr

     "Hey?"
     "Mike?"
     "Yeah, whatsup?  Having trouble on your history?"
     "Uh, no."
     "So whatsup, then."
     I took a deep breath.  "Debbie called me to ask me something..."
     "Say no."
     "What?"
     "Say no," he repeated.
     I protested, "You don't even know what it is!"
     "Every time she asks you something, it turns out bad for you."
     "That's not true, I mean when she asked me to do her taxes that
went okay."
     Pause.
     "Who cares about her taxes?" Mike asked rhetorically.  "What does
she want, and I'll tell you why you should say no."

***
11:28 29 Apr

     Debbie came up to me as I was proceeding to the game.  "Um, did
you-"
     "I'm still thinking about this, Debbie... this is so weird-"
     She ran her fingers through her hair, looking desperate.  "I know,
I mean, I just said I would ask....  I mean, it's no big deal if you say
no," she said quickly.  "I can tell her no, or you're busy, or you've
already got another job or something, it's no big deal-"
     "Yeah, but how much?"
     "Six bucks-" she started to answer reflexively, then stared at me
in horror.  "You're really thinking about taking it?" she gasped.
     "It's a lot of money for not a whole lot of work, I mean, I sat for
them already, and it wasn't that bad, and that's about what Kathy's
making as cashier over there..."
     "I'm not trying to push you into anything!" she wailed, sort of a
non sequitur.
     "I believe you," I told her.  It was mostly true.  She seemed to
have reformed lately, anyway.  "I just don't know.  It's a lot of money,
for just..."  I thought about what COULD happen.  "At least most of the
time.  And it doesn't involve deep fryers."
     She was so worried, she didn't even smile at the joke.

***
12:20 29 Apr

     "I'm telling you, it's a bad idea," Mike insisted.
     "I know, I know!  It's just all that money," I moaned.

***
16:48 29 Apr

     I stared at the ceiling and thought about it.  Boy, that would be a
lot of money.... even after taxes.
     But then I'd have to watch the kids all days long.
     But two of them wasn't so bad.
     But one of them was still in diapers.
     But I could do whatever I wanted while I watched them.
     But...

***
19:11 29 Apr

     "How much did you make stocking?" I asked Mike.
     "A little over six an hour."  For working like a dog the whole time
he was there.  Admittedly, it had made him into much better shape.  On
the other hand, it sure as hell had hurt the first few weeks, I
remembered.

***
20:09 29 Apr

     "It's me," I said into the microphone.
     "Oh, hi!"  Debbie sounded much happier the second time.  "How are
you?"
     "Oh, okay, I guess.  Um."  I took a deep breath.

***
01:13 30 Apr

     I went to the bathroom one last time, which was sort of fitting
considering the shit I'd been wading through all night.

***
07:56 30 Apr

     "I'm telling you, you're making a mistake," Mike advised me as we
walked to homeroom.
     I sighed.  "Probably."
     "So why are you doing it?"
     I gave him a look.  "The root of all evil, Mike."

***
11:42 30 Apr

     "Oh, wait, that reminds me," Kathy said.  "Tuck you're sitting this
summer, right?"
     "Uh, yeah, why?  Does everyone know about it already?"
     She made a face at me.  "Tuck, you need to take some safety classes
and stuff if you're going to work more than once or twice."
     "Oh, great," I said nastily.  "Why didn't anyone mention this
before?  And how the hell am I gonna get into some kind of class on this
short notice?"
     The corner of Kathy's mouth turned up.  "Well, Tuck," she drawled,
"seeing as how I'm teaching most of them, I think I can fit you in."
     I finally managed to say, "Oh."  Which was better than standing
there with my mouth open.

***
11:34 1 May

     Ding! went the play bell.  "Okay," Mike started without waiting,
"so there you are, in front of the Lord Chancellor.  He doesn't look
pleased."
     "I bet he doesn't," Kim commented to me quietly.
     I leaned over and whispered back, "I told you robbing the treasury
was a bad idea."
     "Can I try my seduction skill on him?" Kathy asked.
     Everyone, including Mike, just stared at her in shock.
     She protested, "It was just an idea!"

***
14:52 1 May

     "I'm kind of busy tomorrow night," Debbie sighed.  "More catering.
I don't know how she keeps getting all this business."
     "But you get some of it, right?"
     "Yeah."  She sighed again, and leaned against her car.  "I just
wish, sometimes, I didn't have to work so hard."
     "Me too."
     She gave me a hug, or I gave her one.

***
16:19 1 May

     "I dunno, I mean, I think Kim and I were going out," Mike said as
he jumped on his bed.
     "So you and her are back together?"
     He nodded.  "I guess the phone thing was the only thing keeping us
apart."
     "That's a stupid thing, Mike."
     "Shut up, Tuck."  He sighed.  "Besides, it's fixed now."
     "Thanks to me," I reminded him.
     "Shut up, Tuck."

***
20:32 1 May

     "Oh, hhhuh, heck.  I'm working Friday and Saturday nights," Jill
complained.  I stuck a finger under the cushion and scratched my itchy
ear.  It only itched when I was on the phone, of course.  "I didn't
think there was anything going on."
     "There's not, I guess.  I'm just trying to find something to do."

***
11:48 2 May

     We were enjoying lunch outside for the first time in what seemed
like years, like most everyone else, when Julia came up.  She asked
nervously, "Um, Tuck?  Could I talk to you for a second?  You too,
Debbie."
     Debbie and I looked at each other.

***
11:50 2 May

     Debbie snorted.  Julia complained, "It's not funny!"  Then she and
Debbie locked eyes, and Julia started snorting too.  "It's not!" she
insisted before she burst out laughing.

***
11:53 2 May

     "I mean, you can come if you want," Julia mentioned.
     "I dunno," I said.  "If Debbie goes, I guess I will.  I get some of
the profits when we sell stuff together."  Julia shook her head.
     "God, what a last day of school," Debbie mentioned, then had a
giggle fit again.
     Suddenly, an idea snapped into my head.  "Hey, you're single at the
moment, right?" I asked Julia.
     She frowned at me.  Then she started to laugh.
     "What?" I complained.
     "Oh, oh, you, and her," she gasped, pointing at Debbie, who was
looking at me like it was my fault, whatever Julia was laughing at,
"you, she..."

***
11:57 2 May

     Debbie looked embarrassed for once.  "I knew this was going to
happen," she sighed.
     "Eugene Tucker, stud muffin!" Mike shouted, and way too many people
looked our way.  That just made things funnier, of course.  At least it
was funnier to me.

***
12:02 2 May

     "Anyway, what I wanted to ask, was, since you're," I pointed at
Debbie, "busy tonight, and you're," I pointed at Julia, "going out,
right?  Like to a concert or something?"  She nodded.  "Maybe I could go
with you?  Everyone else is busy tonight," I explained, as the two women
looked at each other.  "And Sheila," my therapist person, "said it would
be a good idea to stay with my friends as much as possible."

***
12:04 2 May

     They'd gone into a huddle, which worried me, and they were talking
frantically at each other.  I sighed, wondering if I'd gone too far.  I
mean, I just wanted a night out of my house, instead of sitting at home
getting crazier.
     Finally, they came back.  "Well?" I asked, hoping I was going to a)
live, and b) have a girlfriend tomorrow.
     "Okay," said Debbie, "on one condition."
     "What?"  I HAD been getting smarter.
     Debbie gave me a stern look, and Julia tried to.  "If," Debbie said
slowly, "I hear one word, one single word about you trying to hit on
her, then you are a dead man."
     I spluttered for a bit, then finally came back with, "Well, if she
tells the truth, then I ought to have a long live.  Life," I corrected.
     They looked a little confused at that, but it finally went through.
Julia shrugged.  "Why would _I_ lie about something like that?"  I kept
my mouth shut at that one.
     I was definitely getting smarter.

***
12:08 2 May

     "So a suit would be okay?"
     "Yeah, like that one I saw you in, um..."  Julia thought for a
minute.
     "Christmas?" Debbie suggested.
     Julia nodded, then sighed.  "God, that was a long time ago..."

***
14:54 2 May

     Debbie and I were reaffirming our relationship out in the parking
lot before she had to go help Lisa with the catering thing.  I was
wondering if we had time to stop by my house before she went, because
she kept rubbing me all sorts of fun places as we kissed, and it was
irritating that I was going to go home with Mike instead of her.
     She was a great kisser, though.

***
19:04 2 May

     "Well, you look nice," Mom said as I came downstairs.
     "Thanks Mom, is she here yet?"  I was running a little late.
     "Debbie?  No, she hasn't knocked, at least."
     "Um.  Well, actually, Debbie's busy tonight, Mom."  Mom was about
to ask the obvious question, so I said, "Um, it's a friend, Julia?
She's in drama.  She's supposed to pick me up."  Maybe, I thought, I
should go check outside to see if she was waiting.
     "Eugene?" Mom asked.  I turned back, and she had the weirdest
expression on her face.  "Does....  Does Debbie know about this?"
     "Well, yeah, of course!  I'm not dumb enough to go out with another
girl without her permission."  I tapped my head.  "Gettin' smarter, Mom.
Last year, I might have been dumb enough to try something like that, but
not now."
     She looked sort of pained.  "Have, have I met this girl before?"
     "Um."  I thought about it.  "I don't think so..."  Ding! went the
clue detector.  "I'll bring her in for a minute when she gets here so
you can meet her, okay?"

***
19:07 2 May

     Dad and Brian had come back, separately, and now we were all
waiting for Julia to show up, I guess.  Mom and Dad were trying to talk
to each other silently, and I don't think they were getting through,
because Dad finally got up and sat next to Mom and they whispered in
each other's ears.  Brian just flipped through channels with the remote.
I hoped I was bugging him.  We'd had another "disturbance" over who got
to use the bathroom, which I settled by skipping dinner.  Julia had
wanted to go out to dinner anyway.  I hoped.
     The doorbell rang, and I got up to answer it.  Brian got up and
followed me.  I sighed, and hoped he would keep his mouth shut.  There
should only be one girl at the door this time, instead of the usual
three or more, and Brian might get nasty at Julia.
     It was Julia, surprise surprise.  Brian just looked at her as we
said hello and I invited her in for a minute, and then he wandered back
to the television.  I hoped he would stay quiet.

***
19:12 2 May

     "What was with your parents?" Julia asked as we got into her car.
     I laughed.  "I, I keep showing up with parts of the Pack, I mean
they keep showing up, to take me out, and I keep telling 'em I'm dating
Debbie and not the rest of 'em, but they get freaked out when I go out
with like half a dozen of them at a time.  And no other guys," I added.
     She gave me a look.  "I can see how that would confuse them," she
finally said.
     "Say," I mentioned, "did you want to go out to eat before the
concert?"

***
19:28 2 May

     "I mean, is this okay with you?" she asked me.
     "Yeah, yeah, it's fine.  I love Italian food."
     "Me too," she grinned, and pulled into the parking lot.

***
19:47 2 May

     "I wondered if we'd EVER get seated," Julia whispered in my ear.
     "It was kind of a long wait," I whispered back.
     "You're sure you don't mind coming here?" she asked again.
     I made a face at her.  "Really, I would have said something before
now, Jule."  She wiggled her eyebrows at me, and picked up a menu.
"Just, it seems kind of expensive, is all."
     "Do you have enough money?" she asked, picking up her purse.  "I
can loan you-"
     "Julia!  I've got some money," fast draining away, but not all gone
yet.  "I just, I mean, this seems like the kind of place to go with
someone you, you... you know."
     She sighed, and gave me an apologetic look.  "It was, sort of.
Tony and I used to come here, but when we broke up, I was scared to come
back.  So... so I kind of wanted a friend along before I tried it
again.  Besides, it's close to the hall."
     "Oh, okay.  Makes sense."  I picked up my menu.  "What's good and
doesn't remind you of ex-boyfriends?"
     She smiled at me.

***
20:38 2 May

     The waiter had been looking at me funny all evening, so I was kind
of glad when the check came and we could get out of here.
     Julia and I figured out who owed how much, and we dug around and
found enough for the bill and a tip, and then we stood up.  I offered my
arm as we walked out, and she took it and smiled at me.
     I almost followed her into the restroom that way.  She almost took
me, too.  We stared at each other when we figured it out, and sort of
laughed, but it was sort of a painful laugh.

***
20:42 2 May

     "Sorry about the, the, back there..."
     I nodded.  "It's okay, it happens.  I gotta work to stop myself
from doing it when I'm out with most of my friends, now.  At least the
female ones."  It hurt like hell, but it wasn't her fault.

***
20:50 2 May

     "This was close," I said, impressed for some reason.
     "I know," she said, and her face kind of fell.  "Tony and I, we
used to..."
     I grabbed her hand, which got her attention.  "Well, now that
you've got me here, tell me what we're gonna be listening to?"  Not to
distract her or anything.  Haha.

***
20:52 2 May

     I stepped up to the window, since Julia had paid more for dinner
than I had.  "Two, please?"
     The clerk said, "Yes ma'am, that'll be twelve dollars."

***
20:54 2 May

     I wiped my face.  "I don't even know why I bother trying any more."
My throat hurt as I tried to keep from bawling.
     "Tuck, I'm sorry," she said sadly.  I looked at her, and her face
looked like she was about to cry, too.  "If I'd known, I, I..."

***
20:55 2 May

     "I mean, I mean," I was warming up to my topic, "that's why the
waiter was looking at me funny!  He, he," I figured out what he must've
been thinking, and I snorted.
     "What?"
     I motioned her over, and whispered in her ear, "I'm wearing a suit,
right?"  She nodded.  "Hair slicked back everything, right?  So if he
thought I was a girl, and I look like this, and you look like that, then
what does that make the two of us together?"
     She looked at me for a second, and then caught it, and snorted.
"You are fucking with too many people's heads lately, Tuck," she
mentioned.

***
20:57 2 May

     "No, come on, that's too much," she told me.  "Just put some
lipstick on and come on, they're gonna be starting in a few minutes."
     I dropped the mascara back in her purse and grabbed the lipstick.
It was a darker shade than I normally wore, but when I put it on, it
went well with the dark coat.  I looked kind of Gothic, but that was
cool, especially with the clothes.  All it needed was a fedora...  "I
wish I had a hat," I thought out loud.  "Except it would mess up my
hair."
     "Me too, now come on," she said impatiently.

***
21:19 2 May

     I glanced over at her, to see if she was smirking at me for closing
my eyes and air conducting.  She had her eyes closed and she was
mouthing words in time to the music.

***
21:47 2 May

     We waited until some of the people had left before we got up.
"I've got to go powder my nose," Julia mentioned.  That must have been
why she was walking so fast.
     "Me too."  That's why I was keeping up.
     We slipped through the crowds and towards the women's room.
     "Val?"  I looked over, and she was holding her face in a mild
pleasant smile.  "They're looking at us."
     I bit my lip.  "Gosh, wonder why."
     We didn't dare look at each other any more.

***
21:50 2 May

     I was fiddling with my hair with my fingers when she got out of her
stall and came over to check herself.  "Good God, Val," she exclaimed,
"you are so vain.  Come on, let's get a drink," she said before I could
jump all over her for that comment.

***
21:52 2 May

     "I just had to say it," she sort of apologized.  "Dramatic
necessity."  She sipped at her coke.
     "Okay, I can see that," I said after a minute.  It was kind of a
funny comment.
     "Would you mind going back in a little early?" she asked me.
"Avoid the rush, and all that?"  I shook my head, and then had an idea.
With a grin, I offered her my arm.
     She looked at me for a second or two, and then she started biting
her lip, like I was doing, and turning pink.  She gracefully slid her
arm through mine, and we proceeded through the crowd like royalty.  We
didn't dare look at each other, though, or we would have cracked up and
ruined the whole thing.

***
22:49 2 May

     We were discussing the concert when some young guy dressed all in
black came up and leaned on Julia's shoulder.  "Hey, girl, what's
happenin'?" he asked.  I got the impression she knew him, because she
didn't just dump his arm off.
     "Just doing the concert thing, Stevie," she said.
     "Stephan," he corrected almost instantly.  "Who's your friend
here?"
     "Um," she glanced at me, "this is Val, she's a friend of mine from
school.  Val, this is Stevie-"
     "Stephan-"
     "We keep running into each other at drama things."
     "Or concerts," he added, "or recitals, or plays, or movies, or art
galleries, or-"
     "Lots of places," she said.  She made a I'm-sorry face at me, I
guess because of having to call me Valerie.  I shrugged; I would have
been more embarrassed if I had to explain what I as a guy was doing
wearing makeup.
     "Hi," I said, and he stuck out his hand, and I shook it.
     "So," he said, leaning more on Julia, "did you have any plans for
afters?"

***
23:12 2 May

     "Um," Julia said as we turned into a parking lot that almost looked
familiar, "Val?"
     "Huh?"
     "This place..."  She cleared her throat.  "It's a little..."
Suddenly, I recognized where we were, and started to laugh.

***
23:14 2 May

     I watched Stevie, or Stephan, kiss some guy hello.  "So he's gay, I
take it," I whispered into Julia's ear.
     "Does that, I mean, it's no big deal, right, I mean-"
     "Just checking."

***
23:17 2 May

     I was a little overwhelmed.  Stevie had met up with a whole bunch
of friends, and they were, I guessed, mostly gay.  Or something close.
Well, the guys were.  Maybe it was a drama thing.  Julia didn't seem to
be freaked out, anyway.  I was, sort of.  I mean, I'd been here before,
and watched guys do things to guys that would have provoked a murder in
my high school, so I was sort of used to it.  But I'd never been in the
middle of it before.  Stevie made sure we were, because he introduced us
to everyone, not that I remembered any names, and then made us sit down
at a booth that was right next to several tables where most of them were
hanging out.
     "So when have YOU been here?" Julia finally asked.
     "Jill and me and Kim come out here every Sunday morning for
breakfast," I explained.  "We've been coming here for a long time, I
guess... since, uh, since I slept over at Sabrina's house the first
time."
     "You what?!"  She looked shocked.
     "Oh, you didn't know about that?"  Oh.  I wondered if I'd made a
mistake.

***
23:19 2 May

     She was shaking her head as we got cokes, and for some reason cokes
made me think of food which made me think of Debbie doing catering
tonight, which made me wonder if she was awake.  "Let me go see if
Debbie's out yet, okay?"  Julia nodded as she sucked on the straw, so I
crawled through the crowd and towards the door.  There was a pay phone
outside.

***
23:23 2 May

     I was dodging back towards my seat, and hoping it was still there,
when I heard Julia complaining.  "I'm NOT DATING her!" she protested.
After a second, I figured she was talking about me.  "We're just
friends, and she was bored tonight," yep, that was me, "so just keep
your filthy minds out of it!" she huffed.
     A couple of guys I'd been introduced to laughed, but when they saw
me push my way through, they shut up and changed the subject.  I sat
down next to Julia again, and shrugged.  "Maybe this wasn't a good
idea," I said a little louder than necessary, thinking sort of sideways.
"I asked Debbie to bring some clothes if she can make it."  I slid the
tie off and stuck it in my pocket.  "I mean, it was a really cool idea,
the suit, but it's not me, you know?"  I did not unbutton the coat.
     She blinked, then said at just the right time, "Well, it was just
an idea.  You do look sharp, though."  We shrugged at each other, and
she bumped me under the table with her foot.  We smiled at each other.
     It was bad enough wearing a suit, any time.  It was worse, much
worse, to keep getting taken for a girl in one.  I figured, if I was
gonna sort of be elected a girl by the crowd tonight, that I might as
well be comfortable - so to speak - in something that was a little less
constricting.

***
23:36 2 May

     "Hi," this girl said as she pulled up a seat next to the table.
She looked older than me, but not too much, and the first thing that
caught my eye was that she had a really short haircut, almost a crew
cut.  I was worried for an instant that a skinhead was about to rip me
to pieces, but she was smiling.  "Haven't I seen you here before?" she
asked.
     "Um," I thought for a second, trying to remember her, and nothing
really came up.  "I dunno.  I, this is my first time out, I mean, Julia
and I went to a concert, and I guess she comes here a lot afterwards,"
the girl was nodding like she was interested, "and I was bored, so we
went together tonight."  I shrugged.
     "No," said the girl, "I think... do you come in here on Sundays,
like for breakfast sometimes?"
     "Oh!  Yeah, that."  I smiled at her.  She smiled back.

***
23:42 2 May

     Tanya, the girl I had been talking to, had to go to the bathroom
and after she left, Julia nudged me in the ribs.  "Don't go home with
her," she whispered in my ear.
     "What?" I asked skeptically.
     Julia looked at me like I was stupid.  "She's trying to pick you
up, idiot."
     "No way!"
     "And," she continued into my ear, getting quieter, "if she finds out
what you've got in your underwear, she might just rip it off."
     I whispered back in her ear, "If DEBBIE finds out, I'd be lucky if
that was all that happened!"

***
23:47 2 May

     Tanya had kind of left me alone, claiming she needed to talk to
someone else, when she got the idea that I was uncomfortable around her.
I felt nervous about having my dick ripped off, for some reason, haha.
And that wasn't even counting what Debbie would do...
     Everyone else was having five or six conversations at once, and
interrupting each other too, when someone pushed their way through the
crowd, and it turned out to be Debbie and Lisa and Jill.  "Hey Val!"
Debbie said when she saw me, and waved a gym bag in the air.  Jill just
grinned, and waved to us.

***
23:49 2 May

     "Maybe you shouldn't bother with most of the makeup," Debbie
suggested.  "You're doing okay as it is, and you're just gonna have to
take it off in a while anyway."  I checked my watch, and she was right.
On the other hand, I felt better with it on.  Like it was camo paint or
something.
     "Debbie?"  She raised her eyebrows.  I spoke quietly to her as I
worked on my face; she had to sit on the sink to hear me.  "There was
this girl tonight..."
     Confession, they said, was good for the soul.  I just hoped my soul
would still be in my body in ten minutes.

***
23:52 2 May

     As Debbie and I got back to the table, Lisa was telling a couple of
guys, "Oh, you know, one friend leads to another, and then before you
know it you're someplace you've never- oh, hey," she changed the subject
when she saw us.

***
23:53 2 May

     "Playing normal person," Lisa whispered in my ear.  I nodded, and
had some more of her croissant.  She slapped my hand when she saw what I
was doing.

***
00:26 3 May

     "I have GOT to get home," I mentioned to Debbie.
     "Me too," she said, looking at her pager.

***
00:34 3 May

     "Oh, it was okay.  I handed out about two dozen business cards, so
it was a pretty good night."  She shook her head.  "God, I didn't know
there were so many gay guys in town."  Debbie and Lisa giggled.

***
00:38 3 May

     "So, like, I was so pissed... and then I thought, you know, like
why fight it any more?"  I shrugged.  "I, I dunno.  It was like, I'd
just had enough, and people were looking at me weird anyway, and, I
dunno."  It had seemed sort of a good idea, or at least not a bad idea,
at the time.  Now Debbie wanted me to explain it, and like a lot of
these sorts of ideas, it was almost impossible after the fact.

***
10:02 3 May

     "Are you sleeping well?" Sheila asked me.
     "Sort of.  I, I was kind of out late last night."  I shrugged.
"You said to do fun stuff, and I had to look a little, but it was pretty
fun, I went out with this girl I know, Julia, we went to this
concert..."

***
10:53 3 May

     "See you next week?" Sheila asked as I got up.  I nodded, and she
got up too and opened the door.  My parents were waiting.

***
11:31 3 May

     "Eugene?"
     I sighed, and stopped.  "Yeah, Dad?"
     He sighed back at me.  "Do you, I mean, is this therapist doing you
any good?"
     I thought about it.  "I dunno, yet.  The Pack said-"
     "The Pack?"
     "All those girls I, me and Debbie hang around with?"  He nodded,
sort of grinning.  "Anyway, some of 'em are in therapy too, and they
said a couple of weeks is kind of soon to be seeing any results."  I
shrugged.  "She, Sheila, she's okay, I guess."
     "I know you didn't want to go, but, your mom and I, we just
didn't..."  He looked like he was in pain.
     "I know," I lied.

***
11:27 3 May

     The phone flashed, so I flipped it off hook.  "'Lo?"
     "Hey, Tuck," said Mike.  "You... busy, tonight?"
     "Don't think so.  Wanna 'do something?'"
     "Yep.  Tonight, anyway.  I got this class I gotta take for this
summer, this afternoon."
     "Like what?  Baby butt wiping?"
     "Yeah, pretty much.  And first aid and lifeguarding and other
stuff."
     "Jeez.  When you gonna be done?"
     "Uh, Kathy said about seven.  Which reminds me..."

***
11:34 3 May

     "Hey Deb!"
     "Tuck!"  She sounded surprised.  "What's up?"

***
12:02 3 May

     "You really do this?"
     Kathy said, in this sort of tired voice, "I really do this.  A
lot."
     "Oh.  Cool," I guess.  If she liked it.  I guess she did, though,
or she wouldn't do it more than once.
     She ruffled my hair and smiled at me.  "Ready for CPR?"

***
19:29 3 May

     "So what ARE you going to do tonight?" Debbie asked me over her
coke.
     "Oh, I dunno.  Something."  I shrugged.  "The less you know-"
     She finished with, "-the less I can tell in court."  She sighed, "I
know, I know.  I just wish you'd tell me more of this stuff before it
happens."
     I thought about it.  "Promise to keep quiet?"
     "Duh!"
     I grinned at her.  "Here's what we were gonna do..."

***
00:14 4 May

     I was a little surprised to see Jill in the van, but there she was.
She smiled at me.  It wasn't a nice smile.  Neither was mine.
     "She wanted to come along," Mike explained, "and I figured we could
use another hand.  I... explained to her... the rules."  I glanced at
Jill, and she nodded, looking very serious.  I figured that it would
take a lot more than hot needles to get HER to talk.

***
01:19 4 May

     I wrapped the induction antenna with electrical tape; lots and lots
of electrical tape, so it would stay on and hopefully dry through the
rain.
     Poor old Matthew.  He was going to be insane if this worked.  More
insane than he was already, I mean.
     "Test check at the house end, Hugo," I said into the microphone.
There were some clicks on the line, then a dial tone, then a rapid
sequence of DTMF, then a few rings, then someone picked up the phone.
Dan hung up.  I pulled my lineman's set out, and hooked into another
circuit on the pole, and dialed the recorder.  It picked up, finally,
and I tapped in the access code.  It played back everything that had
gone over Nickerson's line, including the DTMF, at double speed.
     "Jester says, basic check works out.  Let me reprogram this..."
     "Hey," said Jill over the radio, instantly recognizable.  "Cop,
he's turning into the alley, east side."
     "Oh, shit," said someone.  I just froze, staring at the pole.
     The cop car drove slowly down the alley; I could tell from where
the headlights reflected.  *Be calm,* I thought to myself, *be calm be
calm be calm becalmbecalmbecalmbecalm-* he was right beneath me,
*ohGoddon'tletmegotojailplease...*  The cop kept going, and I started to
breathe again, a lot.

***
10:04 4 May

     "Val, you look awful," Kim mentioned when she saw me.
     "She was up late," Jill said before I could say anything.
     Kim looked at me, then at Jill, then at me, then at Jill, then
said, "Would anyone care to explain?"
     We both said "No," at the same time.

***
10:49 4 May

     I kept looking for Tanya, but she wasn't around today.  I hoped.

***
15:37 4 May

     "Well, is there ANYthing in the cell?" Dan asked desperately.  I
knew taking claustrophobia was a bad idea, but nobody ever listened to
me.
     "Nope," said Mike, with a note of finality.
     "AHHHHHHHHHH!" Dan complained.  He'd get points for roleplaying for
this session, assuming he didn't get killed.  Well, his character.

***
18:19 4 May

     "Ready?"  Mike nodded, and got ready on the tape recorder.  I
dialed up Nickerson's phone, and crossed my fingers.
     It went off hook, and beeped.  I tapped in the access code while
Mike hit record.  It started to babble.  We grinned at each other.

***
11:31 5 May

     "So what did you do this weekend?" Amanda asked me.
     "Ohhhhhh," I looked at my fingernails.  "Nothing much."  Jill
cracked up.

***


     "You know, if I wasn't transsexual [and paying for all these
hormones], I could have paid for SRS by now?" - ehayes


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"Tallyho!"      \   /     @>--,--'--  ehayes@nym.alias.net  + vicki .sig
Ellen Hayes --=(*)=(*)=-- Renaissance Woman    ==[--------  + virus 9.1a
            http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/Heights/5734/



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