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Situation Normal - All Tucked Up

Copyright 1997 by Ellen Hayes.

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purely coincidental, except when used for satirical purposes.

All rights reserved.

Furthermore,
This work contains adult situations, adult language, adult concepts, and
possibly sex.  If you are legally not allowed to read materials
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this.  I am not responsible.
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state, and country.


Situation Normal - All Tucked Up

***
11:38 23 Jan

     It was weird having lunch with the Pack, and listening them talk
about boys and stuff like that.  I didn't have much to say, but they
didn't tease me as much as they used to.  I guess I'd gotten something
like diplomatic immunity or something.
     What was also cool was, a boyfriend or someone would come up to
talk to one of them, and they'd see me, right in the middle of
everything, and they'd give kind of this double take, and then whoever
they had come over to see would pull them away so the two of them could
talk.  And there I'd be, right in the middle of things still.  It was
sort of like having half a dozen girlfriends at one time.

***
11:34 27 Jan

     "Tuck!  Tucker!"  Debbie sounded really upset.  I turned around,
and she was running towards me.
     "What's up, Deb?"  She looked _really_ upset as she ran up and
grabbed me by the arms.
     "Come on, we need you, you gotta help us out-"
     "Wait, what-"
     "Tucker, please!" she begged me.  "Just come on!"

***
11:37 27 Jan

     It was cold outside, but private.  I huddled inside my jacket and
waited for the explanation.

***
11:38 27 Jan

     "He _raped_ her?"
     Debbie nodded, looking sick.  "That's why she's in the hospital.
She tried to kill herself, sliced her wrists all to shit.  They're
trying to fix the damage to the tendons, that's why she's in there."
     "Well, what do you want us to do?" asked Kathy.
     Debbie stopped agitating, and stated, "We gotta make him pay."  She
looked like she was about ready to assassinate him.
     I'd never seen Debbie like this.  Someone was gonna get hurt.
     "So what do we do?" asked Kathy again.
     "We need to figure out how to hurt him, 'cause the motherfucker is
never gonna make it a to trial, and since Ellen was on antidepressants
before, they'd just say it was delusions and shit, so he'll get off."
She slammed her fist into her hand.  "I've _seen_ this crap, they'll rip
her to pieces if it went to a trial, and she's already tried to... end
it, once, she can't handle going to court, so nothing's gonna happen to
him.  Except, he's _not_ gonna get away with this shit," she said in
this ominous low voice.

***
11:40 27 Jan

     Ellen was an okay girl, I guess.  She'd gone out with me a couple
of times, and while there hadn't been any, well, sparkle, we'd been
friendly enough since then.  She was sweet, she just needed someone more
normal than a geek.  The thought of some guy... it made me sick, is what
it did.  And mad.  Real mad.
     As mad as Debbie.
     And I hated Frank's guts all on my own.  Of course, he'd only
beaten me up a lot.  It wasn't quite the same.

***
11:41 27 Jan

     "Wait, are you serious about _hurting_ him?" I asked.  Everyone
turned on me like I thought they would, and I shouted back, "WAIT!  If
you are, I know how to do it!"
     "How?" asked Jill, a dangerous look in her eye.
     "I can't get anyone to beat the shit out of him," I said, "but what
would hurt him the most, more than a beating, is if you killed his car."
They all looked at that, tasted it, found it edible enough to listen.
"It's about thirty thousand dollars, and you can see how he keeps it
clean and waxed and shit, custom stereo, the works.  Nail that, and he
will _know_ he's been hit."  Frank was the unfortunate offspring of
parents who had too much money and too much concern for appearances.  He
was handsome and charming enough to lure suckers in, just smart enough
not to get caught, and rich enough to buy silence.  Most of the time.
     Debbie thought about it for a minute, and got the nastiest grin I
had _ever_ seen on her face.  "Do you have any ideas about how to do
this?"
     "Yeah."  A theoretical discussion I'd had with Mike and Dan was
fresh in my mind.  "I do."

***
15:12 27 Jan

     It was gonna take some work, but I bet I could do it.  *Thank God
my dad's a geek too,* I thought, as I stole about ten thousand dollars
worth of electronics out of our basement.  *I'd never be able to pull
this off otherwise.*

***
16:03 27 Jan

     "So?"  She was skeptical.
     "So hit the button, and keep hitting it until I tell you to stop,
okay?"
     The first step was in cracking the alarm system.  It was one of
those factory radio-controlled jobs.  Luckily, I knew some people who I
probably shouldn't.  Geek people.  And Debbie knew someone who had the
same kind of car.
     I saw a hit on the 'scope.  "Wait, stop.  Okay, do it again now."
She did it again.  Same blip.  "Okay, lemme write this down...."

***
16:29 27 Jan

     I met Brian right at the door as I came in.  "Remember, you said
you'd keep your mouth shut."
     He rubbed his fingers together, and I handed him a ten. "So," he
said casually, "taking a study break?"
     He could be an asshole, but he also knew which side his bread was
buttered on.  Mine.  If I paid him.

***
22:18 27 Jan

     Time to start burning the midnight oil.  This was what Dad called
"crunch time," and I was going to be crunching a lot.

***
04:09 29 Jan

     It worked, finally.  "Oh, God," I moaned, as I looked at the clock
and it hit me like a hammer.  "I gotta get some sleeeeeeep."  Two days
worth of this was just about to kill me.

***
15:18 29 Jan

     "Drive around and look for another one."  I swigged some more Dew,
which was the only thing keeping me upright today.
     "Tuck, don't you think security will notice?" as she drove.
     "They never notice shit unless they're right there.  Security
guards are about as dumb as sheep.  Sometimes dumber."  Not that I knew
that from experience.  Haha.

***
15:26 29 Jan

     The flashing red light went out inside the car.  I looked around,
really carefully, then leaned against the front fender, and shook the
car with my body.  Nothing.  Debbie leaned up against the other side,
and we made it almost dance.  Utter silence.
     She looked at me, wide-eyed, and I gave her one of her grins back.
"Let's go put this stuff back in your car," I said, rubbing my hands.
"Wouldn't want it to get stolen..."

***
15:34 29 Jan

     "Ellen?"  Oh, God, she looked awful.  The worst part was, they had
her arms strapped to the rails, in casts.  When she looked up at us, I
almost cried myself.  Debbie saved me the trouble.
     "Tucker?" Ellen whispered.  "Debbie?  Oh, no.... go away...
please..."

***
16:22 29 Jan

     "So?"  Brian was a leech.  I dropped another ten into his hot
sweaty little hand.  "Didn't know you were home," he said casually as he
made the ten-spot disappear.

***
04:31 31 Jan

     The flash of the phone woke me up.  "H'lluh?"
     "Tuck?"  It was Debbie.  That woke me up.
     "Yuuhhheah?  What's up?"
     "It worked."  She sounded very happy.
     "Wha- oh.  Ohhh...."  I chuckled.
     "I got pictures, I'll show 'em to you tomorrow before I trash 'em."
     "Cool.  Miss you."
     "Me too.  Anyway, I gotta go, so see you tomorrow?  Kisskiss."
     "Bye."  She hung up, and I went back to sleep very very happy.

***
15:18 31 Jan

     "Ellen?"  She was more awake than last time.
     "Wassup?"  Not much more, though.  They had her pretty well doped
out.
     Debbie walked up to the bed while I kept watch on the door.  She
said quietly, "We thought you might like to see these..." and pulled out
the Polaroids of Frank's car, being pulled out of the old quarry.  Her
mom had gotten her copies.  "Nobody can figure out who would have done
something like this," Debbie said innocently.  "I mean, he had a car
alarm and everything.  It's just really strange."
     "It would have taken a professional to break the alarm," I added,
"but then why wouldn't he have stolen the car?"  I shook my head.  "Very
strange."
     "And then they set it on fire, too," Debbie mentioned.  "Very sad."
     "Very sad," I echoed.  I felt very very good.

***
07:56 3 Feb

     "Hey, Tuck, you hate Frank Donner, right?" Mike asked me.
     "Uh, why?" I dodged.
     "Somehow, he ended up getting the hell beaten out of him and
handcuffed to a jungle gym totally stark naked.  You wouldn't know
anything about that, would you?"
     "No," I said honestly, "this is the first thing I've heard about
it.  Though it couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.  Heheh.  Heheheheh
BWAHAHahaahaha!!!"  I hoped Debbie had pictures of _that_.

***
08:04 6 Feb

     Mike said, "We were gonna start a game at lunch, if you wanted to
play."
     "Oh yeah, that'd be cool."  I hadn't been adventuring in a long
time.  "Why at lunch?"
     "'Cause somebody got your ass grounded-"
     "That was _not_ my fault-"
     "Hey, chill out, okay?  I said SOMEONE got your ass grounded, not
who it was.  Anyway, make up a character tonight, and I'll look over it
tomorrow, okay?"
     "Fantasy?  Magic?  What?"
     "125 points, 40 disads, tech three, magic but no psionics, and any
race you come up with, I'm gonna pre-approve."  That meant he'd check it
over first, darnit.
     "Okay.  When are we playing?"
     "Tuesdays and Thursdays at lunch.  I _think_ we have a place set
up we can get away from everybody.  Maybe."

***
11:42 6 Feb

     "...So I'm going to be busy at lunch Tuesdays and Thursdays."  I
felt sort of bad telling them this.
     "Like all the time?" Kim asked sadly.  Debbie and Kathy made faces.
     Now I definitely felt bad.  "Well, I mean, they're my friends too,
and I don't want to give them up just because I got all of you."
     "Well, but..."  Kim got lost in thought.
     "What's this stuff like?" Kathy asked.  I looked at her, and she
was curious, not like she was gonna make fun of me.
     "Well, it's-" I started.
     Sabrina interrupted, "Oh, come _on_, you're not gonna go play with
those _geeks_, are you?"  Sabrina was, in general, allergic to geeks.  I
was surprised that I hadn't made her break out in hives yet.
     Kathy shrugged.  "Why not?  I can always quit, and it might, just
_might_ be fun, or something."  She looked at me.  "Unless your little
geek buddies have a problem with girls playing?" she challenged me.
     I felt sort of mad for an instant, I mean, where did she get off?
But then I realized she hadn't included me in that, so it was like my
friends that might be uncool, and not me.  Which was kind of a weird
compliment.  So I said, "I'll make sure they don't.  If you want to
play, I mean."
     Kathy shrugged.  "Like I said, whatthehell."
     "Could I play too?" Kim asked.

***
11:53 6 Feb

     Mike looked at us.  "How many of you want to play?" he finally
managed to ask.
     "Everyone except Debbie and Amanda," I said, sort of being the
ambassador.  "They've got too much to do over lunch to make a
commitment, but they said they might be interested in helping out in the
roleplaying, like for adversaries or something.  And Sabrina just wants
to watch."
     "Just how geeky is this?" Sabrina asked suspiciously.
     "Ever play pretend?" Mike asked back, preparing to launch one of
the standard explanations at her.  "This is pretend with rules.  As few
rules as possible, but without all the arguing that you used to do as
kids."  They seemed to get the point.

***
11:42 11 Feb

     Mike rung the little desk bell which said, Play time!  "Okay, did
you all read your background sheets?"  Everyone had, so he went on,
"Okay, after the Red Lightning mercenary company disbanded due to lack
of funds, you guys decided to stick together.  Having made it this far,
you've been hanging out at this tavern, trying to find work which has
been too scarce for words, when someone comes in, smelling of money."
     "I like money," George mentioned, and we all nodded.

***
12:15 11 Feb

     Mike's watch alarm went off, and he said, "Well, that's it, we
gotta put it on hold for the day.  We gotta gets books and stuff."
     The girls complained, even Sabrina, a little.

***
15:03 12 Feb

     "Well?"
     She opened the trunk of her car, and showed me what she'd gotten
me.  It was still in the box, otherwise I would have had no idea what it
was.
     "A rope ladder?"
     She leaned towards me and explained what good a rope ladder was.

***
17:22 12 Feb

     I'd just about finished rearranging my room when my mom got home.
*Oh thank God,* I thought as I collapsed on the bed.  I needed the
break, and this was something I didn't want them hearing me doing.  They
might ask why.

***
22:47 14 Feb

     "Hello?"
     "Hi, lover," Debbie said over the phone.
     "Hey, whatsup?"
     "Ready?"
     "Almost... how long'll you be?"
     "Maybe ten minutes.  I'm up here at the corner store.  Want
anything?"
     "Only you."
     She giggled.  "Be there in a few, then.  Kisskiss."  And she hung
up.

***
23:02 14 Feb

     I was glad I'd thought to pad the window area with blankets and
pillows, so I could keep the sound down.  She was heavier than my arms
could handle, impending romance notwithstanding.
     "Come on, just a little..."  She took a breath, then grabbed my
hands as I braced against the wall, and slithered through the window
into my room.
     When we got up, she dusted herself off as I hauled the rope ladder
in as quietly as I could, and shut the window.  When I turned around,
she gave me a kiss.  "Hi, lover," she said seductively.  "Happy
Valentine's Day!"

***
02:13 15 Feb

     "No, sweetheart, you can't take a shower at this time of night.  My
parents would figure something was up."
     "But I'm all sticky," she whispered into my ear.  "And I smell."
     "Delightful!" I tacked on.
     She gave me a kiss that would have gotten me up if there was any up
left in my body at all, which there wasn't.

***
02:19 15 Feb

     "Do you have any shampoo?" she whispered into my ear as she soaped
my back.
     "Just cheap stuff," I whispered back.
     "I guess I can skip it, then."  I just hoped my parents wouldn't
wake up, or that they would believe that I'd had a sweaty nightmare if
they did wake up.

***
07:56 17 Feb

     "Hey, Tuck," Debbie asked, "you're paroled tomorrow, right?"
     "Yesssss," I sighed.  "Finally."
     "Wanna go out Friday night?"
     "Love to," I leered.

***
16:01 20 Feb

     "Good afternoon," said Debbie in a very professional sounding
voice, "and thank you for coming!"
     "Now," she continued, walking around a little, "I know that Mary
Kay is sort of a big joke to everybody, but they really do produce some
superior products, in my opinion.  And I brought my boyfriend here to
prove it!"  She flourished a hand at me, and I smiled.  On cue.
     Everyone laughed.  On cue.
     *Well,* I thought, *at least I'll have some money for Friday
night.*
     Rachel waved to me from the audience, and I waved back.

***
16:42 20 Feb

     "Hey, how's it going?" Rachel asked as I took down her order.
     "Oh, you know, the usual."  I looked up at her.  "Sorry I haven't
called, but I've been grounded for a month."
     She whistled.  "Yeah, Debbie said you had, when I called her to see
if you two wanted to do lunch or something, but she wouldn't say why.
She said I had to ask you."
     I sighed, leaned back, and stretched.  "Well, I sort of ended up
staying out all weekend, almost."  Rachel raised her eyebrows, and
pointed at Debbie.  "Yeah, and then we went clothes shopping, ugh, and
then we went to a party at a friend's house, and then it was Sunday and
I was hosed."
     "Oh, man, bad deal.  Oh, who do I make the check out to again?"
     "D and E Personal Services," I told her.
     "So how's Valerie doing?" she asked as she wrote, and I almost
freaked until I realized that it sounded like a normal kind of question.
     "Ah, well, um, she's mostly why I stayed out so late.  She and
Debbie's friends got along real well."  Rachel nodded.  "So how have you
been?" I asked.

***
17:45 20 Feb

     "Tuck!" Debbie called.  "Could you start packing up the stuff,
hon?"
     "Yeah, no problem."  I was getting a little more enthusiastic about
doing this once I realized how little money I was getting without Mary
Kay supplementing my income.
     Rachel asked, "So, anyway, what else can it do?"
     "Well, they got me one with drum pads..."  I could talk about my
music stuff all day.

***
18:03 20 Feb

     "Oh, man, I'd love to do supper, but I promised I'd be home this
time," I explained.  "My mom is like having a shitfit, she thinks I'm
gonna run off to Costa Rica or California or something now that I'm not
grounded any more."  Mom was strange.
     "Well, let's call her," Debbie suggested.
     "Why?"  Not like I was suspicious or anything.  Haha.

***
18:07 20 Feb

     "Well, she said it would be fine with her," Debbie remarked as she
hung up the phone.
     I was becoming convinced that Debbie could sell ice to Inuit.

***
18:22 20 Feb

     "So what did you get?"
     "You mean, what did I buy, or what did I end up with?  Sabrina
cleaned out her closet on us," I explained, "and some of the stuff got
traded around and stuff.  Tell the truth, I have no idea what half of it
is."  We all leaned right then left as Debbie zoomed around a Cadillac.
     "We got a couple of big trash bags full of decent stuff," Debbie
added.  "I'm still trying to sort it out."

***
18:34 20 Feb

     "Hi folks!" I said like I meant it as we came in.  "Mom, Dad, this
is Rachel, and you know Debbie.  Rachel, these are my folks, Mister and
Missus Tucker."
     "Call me Bill," my dad said, and stuck out his hand.

***
18:40 20 Feb

     "Oh, wow, this is fantastic!" Rachel gushed as she heaped green
beans on her plate.  I was glad someone was hungry tonight.  Maybe it
would keep Mom off my case.

***
18:45 20 Feb

     My dad asked, "So how did you three meet, anyway?"
     Rachel and I both stared at Debbie.  "Well," Debbie started, "what
happened was..."  I paid real close attention, in case I was quizzed on
it later.

***
19:08 20 Feb

     "No, I'd love to help with the dishes," Rachel said.  "You have,"
she confided to my mom, "no idea how much I missed having a home cooked
meal, living in the dorms.  That stuff is _nasty_."

***
19:16 20 Feb

     "So how much did you pay to have her come over?" Brian asked me
nastily.
     Unfortunately for him, Debbie heard him, and just whacked him on
the head.  "Hey!" he interjected (shows excitement, or emotion,
hallelujah...), but Debbie just hissed at him to shut his filthy mouth
or she'd rip his face completely off.
     I was frightened, and I knew she'd never do something that crude;
it wasn't her style.  She scared Brian so bad he shut up.  This was, in
my experience, unique.

***
19:40 20 Feb

     "Well, I haveta get going."  Rachel made a face.  "Anthro homework.
But thank you both, so very much, for dinner.  It was wonderful."
     Mom and Dad didn't know what to do with that, especially when
Debbie turned on her charm too.  Brian made gagging motions, but I
kicked him enough to make him stop.

***
07:58 21 Feb

     "So what's up this weekend?" Mike asked me.
     "Goin' out with Debbie," I said.  And grinned.
     He gave me a look.  "You're not...."
     "She hasn't said anything about... that, yet, so I'm gonna assume
no."  *I hope,* I prayed.
     He shook his head.  "A wise man would be prepared, Tucker.  She's
had a month to think about it."  I took a deep breath.  "Anyway, you
gonna be able to make the game on Sunday?"
     "I am gonna, if I have to hitchhike the whole way to your house
from wherever."  We high-fived.  "The Red Hand Band!"
     "Ho-o-o-o!" yodelled George when he heard me.
     "Gentlemen!" complained Mr. Dobson.

***
11:32 21 Feb

     Debbie said, "So anyway, I figured picking you up about five,
okay?"
     "That'd be great!"  Especially since it wouldn't leave any time for
her to change me into a girl again.
     "Make sure you wash behind your ears, too."  She nibbled on one to
remind me.

***
15:18 21 Feb

     "Nu neh-nu neh-nu-neh-nu," I mumbled to myself as I got into the
shower.  Life was gonna be good, now that I wasn't grounded any more.

***
17:04 21 Feb

     The doorbell strobed red, and I was gonna yell at whoever it was
for disturbing me again, when I saw the clock.  *Oooh, must be Debbie!*
I unplugged myself, draped the headset on the mannequin head, and got up
to unlock the door.
     "Debbie!"  She looked dressed to kill.  "Hey, just let me shut the
stuff down and I'll be right out, okay?"
     "Okay," she said, kind of laughing, as I turned back around and
started closing files and windows and turning off switches and so on.
It took me about thirty seconds, but she waited the whole time without
saying anything.
     As I turned around, I asked, "So, where are..."  Then I noticed the
rest of the Pack was there, staring at me.  And grinning.
     "Oh, no!"  I tried to slam the door shut, but Debbie held it open,
and the rest of them swarmed me.

***
17:05 21 Feb

     "Okay, around this corner," Debbie ordered the Pack.  "Oh, hi,
Mister Tucker," she said to my dad as we passed the living room.  I
twisted around so I could try to signal him, but he was smiling at
Debbie.  My heart sank.  I got so depressed at this betrayal that I
stopped thrashing, which made carrying me a lot easier.  But it was
hopeless anyway.  I did get to see Brian spill a coke on himself,
though.
     "Thank you, Mister Tucker!" they all chorused.
     "Hi, ladies," he said.  "Now remember to have him back by three, or
you have to keep him," he joked.  *Three?* I thought.  *I get to stay
out 'til three if I'm being kidnapped?  You bastard!*
     "We will!" they all chorused, and he got up to open the front door
for them.  I cursed at him, but with the tape over my mouth you couldn't
hear it.

***
17:07 21 Feb

     As we pulled away, I stopped struggling, figuring, what was the
use?  So they let me go, even pulled the tape loose, and I eased my way
into a seat in the minivan.
     "Ready for girl's night out?" Jill asked, and they all laughed.
     I really hated it when Mike was right about stuff like this.

***
17:32 21 Feb

     "Where is this?" I asked as they hustled me out of the van and into
this little shop that used to be a house.
     "You need a haircut," Pam said as Debbie went up to the blue haired
receptionist.  I mean, her hair was electric blue.  "Now, stop fighting
us!"  I felt fear.  If they tried to make _my_ hair that color, I was
_leaving_.

***
17:35 21 Feb

     All of them were getting trims or whatever, except Kim.  Debbie and
Pam had explained to the guy who would be doing me, exactly what they
wanted.  I had no idea what they were talking about, but the guy told me
that if I just brushed it back, no one would figure out that I had a
girl's haircut.  Which led to a lot of other things that he must've
known too.

***
17:48 21 Jan

     Something finally clicked in my head.
     *There is a gay man cutting my hair,* I thought, as it all stood up
on end.  *And he's doing it so I can go around as a girl.*  I looked at
him in the mirror, and he was happily zipping away.  *And he doesn't
care?*  The guy hummed to himself.

***
18:03 21 Jan

     "See?" said the guy as he showed me in the mirror.
     Yes, it did look like a guy's haircut when it was brushed back.
Maybe this would get my parents off my neck about my hair.

***
18:26 21 Jan

     Shampooed, conditioned, brushed, cut, styled, and rinsed (but not,
thank God, colored or permed), I was ready for the next step.  Which
involved bringing in several bags and all of us going to this room
upstairs.
     "Ahhhh!" I said when I saw Jill, who was now platinum blonde.
     "Like it?" she asked.
     "It's.... it's really different.  Ask me in a week, okay?"
     "_I_ think it looks cool," Debbie said, shooting me a dirty look.
     "It's not bad!" I protested.  "I'm just not used to seeing her as a
blonde, okay?  Gimme a break!"  I squinted at Jill.  "Definitely changes
your look," I tried.
     She gave me an uncertain look, but went to get dressed.  *I guess I
live,* I hoped.

***
18:40 21 Feb

     "It fits, really.  It looks good," Pam assured me as I gaped at
myself in the mirror.
     What they had me in tonight, was a little black dress that looked a
lot like a one piece swimsuit, except with a skirt.  And it had black
lace from the neck side of the shoulder straps all the way up to the
neck, like a Victorian blouse, and a separate black lace and gauze
skirt.  Stockings, a regular bra for once, thank God, garter belt,
panties and a G string weren't visible.  I hoped.  Except the stockings.
     They'd also somehow stuck something in my hair that had black and
white lace strips dangling off it.  It made my hair look like it was put
up instead of just short.  And added white lace socks and black heels. I
told them what they could do with the white lace gloves.  They told me
what I was _going_ to do with them, though, so I had them on until I
could ditch them into my pocket.
     "What, am I the bait tonight?"
     "Nooooo, sweetheart," Debbie said as she swirled up.  "We just want
you to look good tonight."  She patted me on the shoulder.
     "Get out of the way!" Sabrina groused, and we vacated the mirror.
They were dressing in front of me again, and I wasn't doing anything
again.  Then again... I tried to catch another glimpse of what I looked
like in the mirror, but the angle was wrong.
     "Think you can do your makeup tonight?" Pam asked as she stripped.
     Debbie interjected, "No, we're doing some serious party face
tonight, so John's gonna do it.  Come on, Val."  She led me downstairs.
     "Wait, who's John?"

***
18:42 21 Feb

     John was the guy who had cut my hair.  He was, I had surmised, gay.
     *Don't panic,* I told myself.
     "Well, hon," he swished at me, "you look GORGEOUS!"  Peachy.  He
led me over to the makeup table.  "Did you have something in mind for
tonight?"
     "Me?" I asked.
     "Well, who else?"
     "Debbie, mostly."  I sighed.  "She's the one that handles all of
this," I waved a gloved hand at the lace and lycra.  "I'm just along for
the ride."
     He gave me a look which said, I don't believe you.  What came out
of his mouth, though, was, "Well, in that case, I would guess that she
wants you to look simply fabulous for your debut tonight.  So what I-"
     "Debut?"

***
18:43 21 Feb

     "DEBBIE!"  I pounded up the stairs.  "WHAT THE HEh-"  There was a
absolute babe in front of me, dressed to slay and make you like it.
Somehow I didn't want to scream about what was wrong in front of her.
Until I recognized it was Jill.
     "Jesus Christ, Jill, you look beaut-"  I suddenly remembered I had
something to discuss with Debbie.  "Bee-youtiful."  She smiled happily.
"'Scuse me a minute, though, I gotta talk to Debbie."

***
18:44 21 Feb

     "What is this about a debut?"
     "Who said that?"  Debbie tried looking innocent, but I wasn't
buying tonight.
     "John your little helper downstairs said that!  Don't bullshit me,"
I warned her, "you have something planned, and I want to know what it is
or I am taking off."  _Man_ I hated it when Mike was right.
     She gave me a skeptical look.  "Like that?"
     "I made my own arrangements for escape tonight, Debbie.  In case
you wondered, I _have_ been learning from these little escapades."
Mike's parents would definitely be surprised if I showed up like this,
but it might be preferable to whatever was going to happen.  "Now tell
me what the hell is going on?"
     She'd been building up steam the whole time I'd been talking, and
she was about to blast me with it when Kathy and Kim and Sabrina came
over and got in between us.  Kathy said urgently, "Listen, it's not a
big deal, we were just gonna go dancing tonight, okay?  And we wanted to
take you out, have some fun, 'cause you're the only guy we can take on
something like this, okay?"  I wished I could hear what Kim and Sab were
telling Debbie.  "So," Kathy went on, "we were just gonna go have dinner
and then go dancing-"
     "Where?"
     "Dunno about dinner.  Dancing at a place called Underground," she
told me, talking fast.  "Nobody from school ever goes there, but Jill
likes it and got the rest of us to go.  It's not a big deal, we're not
setting you up for anything, we just wanted to have some fun tonight,
and we thought you might like to go with us, okay?"  She sighed, and
rubbed her nose.
     I realized then that she was almost naked.  "Well," I protested
desperately, trying not to stare at her bare breasts, which were staring
at me, "but, why can't I just come along?  Like normal?"
     She shook her head.  "If you went as Debbie's boyfriend, then we'd
have to bring ours, and then it would be like a regular date, not like
us going out as just friends, okay?  It's a little different.  Like,
like when you and Mike and everybody play games, right?  Just time to be
yourself and have fun and not worry, right?"
     "But-"
     She moved in for the kill, I could sense it.  "So, we all think you
could be a friend of ours, we'd _like_ you to be our friend, and we
wanted to take you along, as a friend, right?  Just have fun.  You had
fun at Sabbie's house, right?  Right?"  I hated to nod yes.  "Well, this
is supposed to be like that, just friends going out, dancing, having a
good time, and we wanted you to come along.  And we can't do that if
you're sucking face with Debbie all night.  But, unlike most of the
people we're dating," she rolled her eyes, "you're more like a _friend_
to the _rest_ of us, so we wanted you to come along as _our friend_, not
Debbie's hotspot."
     "But-"  It sounded weak, even to me.

***
18:47 21 Feb

     John was sitting, reading something as Kathy escorted me back
downstairs.  He looked up, and smiled.  "Did we get everything worked
out?" he asked innocently.
     "Yes!" Kathy told him.  "Now," she turned to me, "you go sit and
get beautiful, okay?  I need to get ready."  She sure did.  I was glad,
for her, that this section of the place didn't have windows.
     "Oh, hon," John said, and we turned to look at him.  "I hope you're
going out in more than _that_."  He shuddered.  "It's supposed to be
_cold_ tonight!"
     Kathy looked dumb for a moment, then looked down, saw that she was
still wearing nothing but panties, turned bright red, made an "Eeep!"
noise, and turned and walked back upstairs like she had some dignity
left.  Quickly.
     I waited until she was out of sight before starting to laugh.  I
almost choked to death first, though.

***
18:53 21 Feb

     The girls were drifting downstairs, and settling around me.  I
guess I was more interesting than that month's issue of Vogue or
something.  I had to be, come to think of it.
     John had this sick idea that I wanted to know what he was doing, so
he kept up a running commentary, and made me do half the work.  The
girls approved.  Especially Debbie.

***
19:02 21 Feb

     John was directing me in how to do liquid eyeliner - and my dad
said painting aircraft models would never come in handy, the idiot -
when someone knocked at the front door.
     "Ooh, it's probably Lisa," Debbie said happily.  John got up to
answer the door.  I would have gotten up too, but the glares nailed me
to the seat.
     It was Lisa.  "Hey ladies!" she waved.  "Hi, Valerie!"
     At least Gary wasn't with her.  For once.

***
19:12 21 Feb

     He was done, and he was faster than Debbie was.  Of course, he did
this all day, whereas Debbie was busy doing other things like plotting
the next way to humiliate her boyfriend.
     There was a knock at the door.  Debbie looked at her watch, then
pushed me up and out of the chair.  "Go answer it!"
     I looked at John - it _was_ his shop - and he shrugged.  Debbie
whispered something in his ear, though, and he grinned and nodded.
Whoever it was knocked again.  I sighed, and made my way to the door.  I
couldn't help but notice everyone following behind me.
     I unlocked the door and opened it, resolving that if it was John
the pizza boy I would tell him _exactly_ what happened to guys that
dated Debbie.
     It wasn't John, it was Amanda, the only member of the Pack besides
Lisa that hadn't been there during the party.
     "Oh, uh, excuse me," she wiped hair out of her face, "I was looking
for Debbie Carstairs?  Is this the right place?"
     "Who?" I asked.  Just to be mischevious.
     "Oh, um..."  She was at a loss until Debbie whacked me in the back
of the head, which made me say something rude, and then she flung the
door open.
     "Hey, come on in!" Debbie said.  "We're all ready except you, so
didja get your stuff?"
     "Uh," she said.  She looked as frightened as I usually felt.  She
pointed at me.  "Is that-  Are you-"  The rest of the girls started to
laugh.
     I smiled at her.  "Hiya."
     Debbie said, "Amanda, meet Valerie.  She'll be going out with us
tonight."
     She just stared.

***
19:26 21 Feb

     We weren't all finished, it turned out, so Amanda wasn't the only
one in front of the mirror.  She kept looking at me, but Debbie and Jill
had a small talk with her.  I guess I was intimidating her or something.
Haha.  I dunno why - it wasn't like I was going to get all macho all of
a sudden or anything.  Not in this dress.
     "Val!" Sabrina complained.
     "What?"  I turned back to face her.
     "What is your deal?"
     I shrugged.  "She's the only one who I haven't seen in her
underwear.  Or worn her clothes."
     Sabrina saved Debbie a trip by smacking me herself.

***
19:31 21 Feb

     John had tossed us out, and he locked up as we trudged to the
Suburban Teen Assault Vehicle.  Lisa had brought her car, so she was
gonna take Debbie and Jill, while the rest of us piled into the minivan.
     I ended up sitting next to Amanda, who almost had a heart attack
when I bumped into her getting in.
     "Jeez, Amanda, chill out!" said Kathy.  "She's okay."
     Amanda shook her head, avoiding looking at me.  "It's just too
weird - I mean, she, he, whatever..."  I felt embarrassed.  Weird as it
sounds, she was the first person to bring it up.  First girl, anyway.
     Pam said, "Look, just think of her as Valerie, Tuck's _much_ cooler
sister.  That'll make it easier."
     "Is that what I've been doing wrong?" I asked, which made most of
them giggle.
     "She's cool," Kathy asserted.  "Remember, she spent the whole night
over with us at Sabrina's house, and her brother never showed up at
all."  She nudged me.  "No computers to wake _him_ up."
     I frowned at her.  "Hey..."  But Kim was digging pictures out of an
envelope and giggling.  I had an idea what was in those photos.  "Gimme
those!" and I made a grab for them.
     Kathy disputed my attempt to claim them, and as she was unfairly
both bigger and stronger, I lost.  Oh, and she was meaner, too.  "Take a
gander at these," Kim said, passing them to Amanda and turning on the
light.

***
19:35 21 Jan

     I got to see them, finally, after they'd been passed around to
everyone who hadn't seen them yet.  Luckily, Pam had already seen them,
since she was driving.
     There was one of me, asleep on Travis' shoulder, at the ER waiting
room.  I looked like any other girl who'd passed out from nervous
exhaustion.
     There was one of me asleep with Pam and Debbie and Sabrina, all in
one bed.  Pam looked like the odd one out, since she was the only one in
that bed wearing a T shirt.  They must've pulled the sheets back, since
we were all exposed.  It looked weird, seeing four girls curled up like
we'd been, like a litter of puppies.
     There was one of me screaming in shock as I woke up with a pair of
breasts attached to my chest.  That one would have been funny, except I
was still having nightmares like that.
     Somehow, there was one of Travis kissing me.  What bugged me was, I
couldn't tell where.  Which said something for the number of times he'd
kissed me.
     There was one of me and Jill and Kim, dressed for coffee Sunday
morning.
     They'd gotten one of me in this really stupid pose as I was doing
eyeliner at the party.  I hadn't noticed that one being taken either.
     One of me, passed out on a floor.  It took me a while to remember
the floor tiles - it was the mall where Bobby had caught me, and Travis
had beaten the hell out of him.
     Another one of me in Travis' arms, same mall, as he tried to wake
me up.  You could almost sell this one as a romance novel cover.
     One of me in some damned changing room, in my underwear.  From the
angle, she'd stood up in the next stall and snapped it from above.  I
mean, it was Debbie's underwear, but I was wearing it at the time.  It
must've been the day of the party, since I wasn't wearing the corset...
     _Another_ one of Travis kissing me.  This one, I almost looked like
I was enjoying it.  Oh, God.
     "Oh, God," Amanda and I said at the same time.  Then we looked at
each other.
     "Hava leetle," giggled Sabrina as she passed us a thermos.  I
sniffed, not being stupid, and smelled something alcohol.  "It's a
screwdriver," she explained.  "For attitude adjustment."  She laughed.
     I politely handed it to Amanda first, who took a large gulp.  I
decided I could use about that much too.  "Yeeugh," I complained after I
swallowed.
     "If ya don't like it, give it back!" Sabrina told me, which I did,
except Kim intercepted it first.  Pam started grousing about having to
drive, and therefore not being able to drink tonight.
     *Tuck, old bean,* I thought to myself, *you are in for another
interesting night.*  I could see the signs.

***
19:41 21 Feb

     Pam put something in the stereo to "start the party" as she said.
The first song was Salt'N'Pepa doing "Push It."  Everyone started
singing along.  I wouldn't have, except Sabrina poked me until I started
to sing.  My ribs hurt.

***
19:46 21 Feb

     "Bimp, bomp, bump," thudded the speakers.  *Oh, no,* I thought when
I saw Sabrina's grin.  I'd confessed a secret shame to her about two in
the morning, and now it was going to come back to haunt me.  'Cause I
recognized the intro.
     "Come on, Val, sing with me, okay?" she pleaded over the intro.
     I sighed.  This wasn't going to be easy, but then, they already had
photos.  "Okay, okay, just wind it back to the beginning."  Pam did.
"You first."  I took a deep breath.  Bimp, bomp, bump...
     "Come on girls," Sabrina squalled, "do you believe in love?  'Cause
I got somethin' to say about it!  And it goes something like this."  She
kept singing, so I wasn't alone as I jumped in.
     "Don't go for second best, bay bee," we chorused.
     "Put your lover to the test.
     You know you know you know you got to
     Make him express how he feels
     And only then you'll know your love is real."  Sabrina tapped me
and zipped her lip, so I stopped.
     *Yep, interesting,* I thought idly as Pam took the next line.  "You
don't need diamond rings," she sang.
     "Or eighteen carat gold," added Kim.
     She tapped Sabrina, who sang, "Fancy cars that go very fast," and
she tapped me.
     "You know, they never last, oh no-o-o,"  I slapped Kathy's leg.
I'd never thought you could sing this as a round, but it was going well.
Except Amanda was giving me that look again.

***
19:54 21 Feb

     I hadn't known it was possible to peal out a minivan, but it was
gonna be a weird night anyway.
     "You are an obsession
     You're my obsession
     Who do you want me to be
     To make you sleep with me..."

***
20:02 21 Feb

     We all piled out of the minivan into a parking lot I didn't
recognize.  Souper Salad said the sign.  I giggled as I thought that.
     The screwdriver was beginning to turn, as it were.

***
20:04 21 Feb

     "What's up with you?" Debbie asked me quietly.
     I bent over to whisper in her ear, steadying myself on her
shoulder.  "Someone brought a thermos full of screwdrivers."  It was
hard enough walking in heels anyway, when my legs weren't slightly
rubberized.
     She made a face at me.  "How much did you have?"
     "Only one drink out of it, I swear."
     She shook her head, and grinned.  "Val, you _are_ a cheap date!"
     "Hey!" I complained.  "I'm not cheap!  Besides, it was one BIG
drink."
     She just rolled her eyes.

***
20:07 21 Feb

     I was gonna complain about rabbit food, but then realized that if
the girls were gonna go dancing, they wouldn't want something too heavy.
Besides, everyone except Pam had bitched about their weight already.  I
think it was a bonding ritual.
     So I had salad, and a baked potato.  And a _lot_ of company.

***
20:14 21 Feb

     "Debbie," I whispered, "why does Amanda keep staring at me like
that?"
     "I don't think she's used to you yet," she whispered back.  "Don't
worry about it.  She's cool."

***
20:20 21 Feb

     Kim was demonstrating what she'd like to do to Mister Fuckhead Tim
(apparently now his official title) on a baked potato when Debbie's
pager went off.  She pulled it out, checked the number, checked it
again, and started to curse.
     The rest of us shut up, and Lisa asked, "Whatsup?"
     "That fuckhead Bill has fucked something up again," she complained.
"Lemme out."  We got up so she could go call him.
     Lisa sighed.
     "It's hell trying to rule the world, eh?" I announced.  And
everyone laughed _hard_ at that.
     I tried not to wonder who "Bill" was.  And tried not to feel
jealous.  But then again, if she'd wanted a real macho man, she wouldn't
have dressed me up in the first place, right?  Or at least the second
place.  Besides, she'd called him a fuckhead, which she'd never called
me.  Debbie calling someone a fuckhead was kind of like your parents
telling you that they'd found you on the side of the road and now they
wish they hadn't stopped.  Even "Valerie" was better.

***
20:23 21 Feb

     Lisa stopped in the middle of a story about the last guy to cheat
on her, sighed, and got her purse and started pushing us out.  I looked
over the other way, and Debbie was walking back to the table, winding
her finger in the air.
     "I gotta go deal with some business," Debbie announced when she got
to the table.  "Anybody got a pager?"  Pam dug in her purse, and held
one up.  "'Kay, got your number, I'll call you when I'm done if it's
after eleven, okay?"  She bent down, and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
"You be good, okay?"
     I nodded, then said back, "Yeah, but you be careful, alright?"  She
nodded, and said her goodbyes to everyone else, and dropped a twenty on
the table.  Then her and Lisa left.
     I sighed.  Her leaving took a lot of the fun out of things.  "So
what's your hell date?" Kim asked Amanda.

***
20:25 21 Feb

     I guessed that Amanda had done very well in bio, since the way she
was dissecting Boyfriend Number Last in effigy showed a lot of practice
and care.
     Boy, that would hurt, though.  Especially when she pulled the skin
gently off and salted what was underneath.  Which, in this case happened
to be another potato, but even so, it made me afraid.

***
20:27 21 Feb

     "I think it has something to do with their underwear," I
postulated.  They all stared at me.  Nobody said anything.
     Finally, Kathy, being the bravest, asked, "What?"
     "Well, see," I couldn't look at them any more or I'd crack up, so I
stared at my salad plate.  "You take away their underwear, and they get
real docile alluva sudden.  No more macho!"  There was about three
seconds of dead, stunned, silence, and then Kathy whooped, which set
everyone else off.  Even Amanda.

***
20:31 21 Feb

     "I don't _think_ they're hard," Jill said.  And pulled her dress
and bra out far enough that she could see.  "Nope, not hard."
     "Lemme see," I said, and she actually moved aside enough to let me
see.  Her nipples were soft and small.  "Nope, not hard."
     "Bummer," she said sadly.  "I _thought_ I thought he was a hunk."
     Sabrina asked, "What about Mike Brant?"  Mike Brant was the kicker
for the football team, and he played soccer, and somehow all the girls
ran after him.
     Jill thought about it.  "Hrmmm...."

***
20:34 21 Feb

     "What?"
     "I said, you just don't know how to handle guys," Kim told me
again.
     "I don't _wanna_ know how to handle guys," I told her.  "Not yet,"
I added in case anyone was listening.
     "What, are you gonna wait until _college_?" Jill asked.  She rolled
her eyes.  "Come on, it's not hard.  What with those brothers of yours,
you'll have an advantage anyway."
     "Wha-"  *Oh.*  Those brothers.  Brian, and Eugene, may he rest in
peace tonight.  "But-"
     "They're right."  Kathy pointed her finger at me.  "THINK about it,
Valerie.  We're gonna stick with you tonight, because it's your first
time out, but you gotta know how to handle yourself."
     "But-"
     "And THEM!" Sabrina interrupted, giggling.

***
20:47 21 Feb

     "But why do I have to flirt in the first place?"
     "First off," Kathy said, ticking the points off her fingers,
"they're gonna expect it.  Second, it's the way it's played.  Thirdly,
it's the best way to get what you want out of the situation."
     "Fourthly," Pam added, "you catch more flies with honey than
vinegar."  Which set off a round of giggling.
     Sabrina said, a little more seriously, "And the whole point is, if
you act funny, then they'll think you're strange, and you _don't_ want
'em trying to figure out how."
     She had a point.
     But why did it have to be _me_?

***
20:52 21 Feb

     And lo, the valiant band set forth to conquer the land.  Their
first conquest: the bathroom.
     "Jesus, Val, are you done yet?" Sabrina complained over the stall
door.
     "Give me a minute," I huffed, adjusting things.  "I'm wearing more
underwear than you.  It takes me longer to arrange things."
     Someone else came out of a stall and said, "Here," and I guess
Sabrina took it.

***
20:54 21 Feb

     I'd just gotten my turn at the mirror when I heard a someone moan
behind me.  I turned around, and it was Julia.  "Erk," I said, then,
"Not again!"
     Her eyebrows had gone up into her hair.  "So what's a nice like you
doing in a girl place like this?" she asked me.  It was pretty funny,
when I thought about it.
     Before I could answer, Kim, coming out of a stall, said, "Oh,
hey..." and then kind of trailed off as she saw me again.  Like she'd
just noticed the principal or something.
     "Uh, girl's night out?" I tried.  Julia looked around, and saw the
Pack staring back at her.  I expected them to start growling at her.
     She shook her head.  "I don't believe this.  NO ONE would believe
this."  Then she turned back and gave me the twice over.  "And did you
get your hair styled today?  You didn't look like that at school today."
     "Um."  Then I thought, *Well, she likes me and Debbie, and she's
already kept her mouth shut several times...*  And she was wearing the
earrings we had given her, right now.  "Yeah.  I'm sort of being
recruited."  I gave her a sick grin.  "This is sort of the initiation."
     She slapped a hand over her mouth, but that didn't stop her
warp-speed giggles.  The Pack sort of relaxed as I handsigned to be
cool.

***
20:56 21 Feb

     "Well, have a nice time tonight," Julia told me, then bent close.
"You know, you'd better be careful, dressed up and out like that.  You
look way too... delectable, and the guys are gonna be all over you."
     "I got the lecture over dinner tonight," I told her.  "Besides,
like Jill said, I have an advantage.  I know how guys think."  And
grinned a Debbie sort of grin.
     She gave me the most wonderful wide-eyed stare.

***
21:03 21 Feb

     Paying the bill was worse than my last math final.
     Well, the math was easy.  Watching them try and figure out who owed
who what was horrible.

***
21:06 21 Feb

     "God, I hate cold cars," Amanda complained.
     "At least you're wearing more than me!" I pointed out.  She gave me
that look again, and I kicked myself.
     "This'll warm you up," Sabrina said, and handed us the thermos
again.
     Ever the gentleman, I let Amanda take the first gulp.  My, that was
going fast.  I took about half of what was left, which wasn't much.
     As if she could hear me, Kim pulled out an identical thermos.
"Seconds, anyone?" she asked dryly, and giggled some more.

***
21:12 21 Feb

     "Goin' down,
     Party time,
     My friends are gonna be there too, WAAaauuuu!" we all shrieked.
     This was _just_ the right song for tonight.  I'd have to thank
Z-Rock when I got to a phone.  If I lived.

***
21:17 21 Feb

     "She's drivin' away
     With her tail lights on.
     And she's makin' her play.
     She can't go wrong.
     She never waits too long."  We clapped in time to the music.  A
little weird, jamming to something that had been recorded right before I
was even born, but it was cool.

***
21:22 21 Feb

     "Well, shit, my ears hurt," complained Pam as she turned the music
down.
     "Well, what are we gonna doooooo?" whined Sabrina.  "We need
something to set the moooooood!" and she started to giggle.
     "Moooooood moooooooosic," Jill got out before she couldn't talk
coherently any more.

***
21:23 21 Feb

     "Let's make Valerie practice!" Kim suggested.  Practice "handling
guys" is what she meant.  It was immediately taken up as the best idea.
Except for Amanda, of course.  And me, but nobody cared what I thought.

***
21:27 21 Feb

     We pulled into a parking lot so that I could learn how I should act
getting in and out of a car.  I couldn't believe we were doing this.

***
21:28 21 Feb

     I pulled my purse into my lap and sat, watching Jill walk around
the front of the van to open my door.  When she did, I let her help me
out.  When she tried to kiss me, though, I pulled away, so she missed.
"Good, great!" called Kathy.  "That's how you do it!"

***
21:32 21 Feb

     The next lesson, how to tell a guy to get lost when you didn't want
to be so polite any more, was cut short when we pulled into the
Underground parking lot.  I guessed that's where we were, because of
all the teenagers wandering around the parking lot.
     "Erk!" I said, suddenly having a case of stage fright.
     "Hava somore!" Kim ordered, handing me the thermos again.  I hada
somore.  What was kind of scary was, it didn't taste so nasty any more.

***

"Bonus points if you can name all the titles and artists of the
songs..." - ehayes

TS Tip #13: Carry tampons - do not use them.



"Tallyho!"      \   /     @>--,--'--  ehayes@nym.alias.net  + vicki .sig
Ellen Hayes --=(*)=(*)=-- Renaissance Woman    ==[--------  + virus 9.1a
            http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/Heights/5734/


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