Chapter Five – No Ordinary Love

Catelynn stepped into the ladies room of the old rep theatre and checked each of the three tiny stalls to ensure she was alone. Pinching a dangling piece of toilet paper, she started the roll spinning until she had circled her hand a few times. When she ripped the trail of tissue away, she walked back out to sink and threw her leg up onto the counter. Two pumps of the soap dispenser spewed a think pink liquid on to the white squares in her hand, that turned into a creamy  bubbly mess as she turned the taps to full blast. 

She was trying to hold back her sobs, but the images replayed themselves over and over. In her mind, she saw Chris laying on top of the medium tall auburn haired girl whose chubby leg was propped up and revealed under Cate’s expensive 500 thread count sheets.  Was her leg fatter? Was she prettier? Did she talk dirty, and do things Cate hadn’t done and did she make him cum harder?  Did he tell that bitch all the things he held back from her? Did he whisper in her ear, and tell her how amazing she was? After everything she had planned and shared with Chris these last couple of weeks, these questions and images still obsessed her thinking and she hated him and her self. Did he tell her that he loved her?

She didn’t know how long she had been scrubbing herself, but her labia and thighs were becoming red and raw.  The charcoal lines of melted mascara dragged the tears down her cheeks, and she used the sleeve of her wool jacket to wipe her nose. 

Catelynn took a few deep breaths and looked in the mirror. A sad, terrified soul looked back, and all she felt was anger for not being stronger or smarter. 

“Fuck you.” She spit at herself in the mirror. “Get a fucking life, you stupid silly girl. You really think any of this will make a difference?”

Catelynn slapped her flat palm against the mirror, and the sting of the cold glass spread across the tender flesh. She relished the pain, because thankfully it distracted her for a moment, from the sorrow. She let her leg slip off the counter, and shifted the hem of her skirt down. She didn’t bother to wipe her face. She could feel more tears coming anyway, and somehow she felt she needed to wear the saline stained streaks as an expression of truth. Why should she cover up what was screaming to get out from the inside?

She wrapped her scarf around her exposed neck three times, and buttoned up the front of her three quarter length jacket. A few quick tugs to the tops of her high heeled boots, and they were once again snug around her shapely calves. She exited the ladies room, and brushed past an usher, on her way out of the building.


Chris stepped into the elevator of their condo, and a guy he recognized from the 14th floor was stuffing his car keys into the side pocket of a small duffel bag. Chris gave a small nod, and turned to see the doors swooshing shut in front of him. In the small confined quarters, Chris could immediately pick up a distinct aroma and assumed his neighbour must be heading back from the gym. It continued to get stronger, but there was a more sweet and acidic smell than what just a little sweat could give off. Chris realized it was him who was giving off the scent, and that it was the smell of sex. For some reason, he wondered if this is how he smelled after Catelynn had chased Sasha out of the apartment that night, with no shoes or a jacket. 

The 14th floor guy exited quietly, and within a matter of seconds Chris was repeating his movements through the large shushing doors. A few steps down the hall, and he was at the door that with a click of his key in the lock released itself from the frame and swayed open to reveal the darkness inside. He stepped in, without actual thought removed his jacket and shoes, and tossed his wallet and keys on the table beside him. 

He had spent twenty minutes wandering around the large grocery store a few blocks away. Since he had moved back in, he watched the fridge go bare and on more than one occasion he had caught himself staring into the cupboard at cans and boxes that he had no interest in prying open. He found the same results in the aisles of the store, and left empty handed. This was not the same result when he left the liquor store. A lone bottle of Jack Daniels swung against his leg as he walked down the streets that seemed to have gotten dark too early. 

This was the bottle that he now rested on the marble counter of the kitchen. He pulled it out of the bag, while his other hand had swung open the cabinet to find a glass he then used to catch some ice cubes that the front of the steel freezer door spit out.  

He didn’t bother to turn on any lights, and bumped his shin against the corner of a dining room chair as he made his way to one of the couches. 

“Motherfuc-” he sipped a quick shot of breath through his gritted teeth, and dropped the full weight of his body into the cushioned couch. He twisted the cap on the bottle and poured a double over the ice clinking around in the glass. In one gulp, it was gone and he had poured another. 

After the second drink was gone, he searched the cold clear surface of the coffee table for the remote control. Before he heard the shuffling of feet on the rug, the corner of his left eye captured the movement of something on the armchair tucked away in the corner opposite the sofa he had Cate and Brandy on the other night. 

“Looking for something?” Cate’s voice was soft and low, unlike her usual vibrant and melodic tone. Chris jumped in his seat, and fought to catch his breath. Cate leaned forward in the large chair, just enough for a stream of light from the sliding glass balcony doors to cross the right side of her face, illuminating the still tear streaked cheek. 

“I.. uh.. “ Chris stammered, but his mind raced with the thrill that she was here to talk. No more games. 

“You are, aren’t you? You’re looking for something.” She was staring at him, with her arms folded on her knees and she seemed to search his face like someone who was trying to communicate with the victim of a crime. She was trying to find his truth, and his language so she could speak to him and know he would hear her and everything she was about to say.

Chris was frozen by her eyes, and the drawn and weighted feel of her face. He had seen her this way, the day of her father’s funeral. There was a misery, and a weakness and vulnerability that scared him because he knew she couldn’t let it go. And it would stay inside her. He couldn’t imagine what that would do to someone. To see it again now, and know he was the reason caused a tightness in his chest. 

Her finger made a quick pressing motion on the buttons of a small black object, and a tiny green light flashed on the entertainment system. Then the sound of some kind of piano began to pulse from the speakers surrounding them, and was accompanied by drums and rhythmic bells. A guitar strummed in the background, and the intro of a slow song began. Chris turned his head away from the stereo to look at Cate, just as she began to mouth the words. 

“I gave you all the love I got, I gave you more than I could give. I gave you love.” The soulful and raspy voice was familiar, but Chris felt Cate speaking though music that was filling up the room. A single tear rolled down her visible cheek. “I gave you all that I have inside, and you took my love. You took my love.”

She stood up and took a few steps towards where he sat staring up at her. His eyes had adjusted to the dark, and he followed the form of her body passing through the stream of light from the windows.  

“Didn't I tell you what I believe? Did somebody say that… a love like that won't last?” She was standing over him and began to lower herself down to his eye level. “Didn't I give you all that I've got to… give baby?” The rhetorical question hit Chris hard. He knew that she had. 

Her hands were on his knees and as she knelt down, she moved her upper body forward following them as they slid up his thigh, one after the other. “I gave you all the love I got, I gave you more than I could give, I gave you love.” Cate’s eyes were glistening with the tears, and her pupils had become full round saucers in the darkness making the light blue irises all the more dynamic. As she lip synched, she seemed to speak in slow motion drawing out each movement of her lips and tongue. Her hands began to move up his chest, and the tears were rolling in a steady steam while his gaze looked on her pleading eyes. “I gave you all that I have inside, and you took my love.” She emphasized the word ‘my’ and then winced, closing her eyes as she slowly mouthed the last line. “You took my love.”

A steady guitar rhythm began to cresendo as her searching hands began to grab at his shirt, the back of his neck and up through his tousled hair. “I keep crying…” She wept, and bit her lip through the pain as she crawled up to straddle his lap. Chris moved his hands to cradle her waist but she swatted them away from her in disgust. “I keep trying for you.” She was pawing at him in beat with the song as the tension of the chords foreshadowed the chorus. Through her tears, he heard her voice release the next lyric in spoken words. “There's nothing like…you and I, baby.”

The sound grew and Chris could feel her body tensing. The music was vibrating through her, and he felt her heat on his lap as she rocked forward. When the chorus hit, he grabbed for the back of her neck and pulled her to him. 

“This… is.. no… ordinary love.” The passion swelled inside them both, and as their lips came together, their tongues swirled around each other. They exchanged breath and the warmth of each others kiss, and the perfect fit of their mouths reminded them of how they used to kiss when they first met. There was the same abandon and passion except she was still crying and Chris could taste the salt as it rippled in through the side of her mouth. 

“No ordinary love.” His instinct told him to hold her tighter, and protect her. She was his, and he needed to keep her safe and warm in his arms. His fingers gripped the back of her head through her long hair, and kept her head pressed to his. They were locked in their feverish kissing, their heads switching sides as if being directed by some other presence that was choreographing their every movement. 

“This.. is.. no.. ordinary love.” Cate tore the blazer off his shoulders and pulled it down off his arms. Chris released her head, and made up for it by raising his upper body higher to maintain the closest contact while she weighted herself down on him. He grabbed the back of her silk camisole and pulled it up as she lifted her arms in assistance. Not nearly soon enough, her hands had returned to touch his face, and she was holding his jaw bones as she kissed him. Soon her lips were travelling over his eyebrows and forehead dotting his skin with each touch of her lips. She was kissing his earlobes, and he her warm breath and the subtle sound of her breathing travelled through his ear drum, and set the hairs on the back of his neck to stand straight up. He was nuzzling her neck, and lightly biting and pulling her skin with his teeth. 

Catelynn pulled off his sweatshirt in the same way, and as soon as the material was discarded they resumed their intense kiss. Chris put his arm around her, and slid his body out from underneath her seated position to move her on to her back. She turned her head into the cushion of the couch, embarrassed by the thought that he was touching her out of pity. Chris reached up and with a gentle touch of the palm of his hand, brought her head back to face his. 

She reclaimed their coupling, with repeat of the early verse. She was there to expose her pain, and her confusion. How could she have been so wrong about them? How could he have done this? She didn’t understand. She needed him to know. 

“I keep crying. I keep trying for you.” She choked on the silent words, as her fingers traced the features of his face lightly moving into his hairline. Her hand led his past the waistline of her skirt to the valley created by her slightly propped legs. 

“There’s nothing like.. you and I, baby.” She slid his fingers down, and into the burning cavity where her lips protected a swollen and sensitive clit. Her other hand pulled the back of his neck down. With little resistance, Chris met her kiss again. He released only to stop the drops of tears running down past her ears and falling into her hair, with his lips. The sweet salty taste was incredibly similar to what waited for him below, where his fingers were already lapping at her juices. 

“This is no ordinary love.” Catelynn struggled with his belt, but the loose fitting jeans gave way easily. With her outside leg, her foot easily kicked them down to the knee Chris was using to hold himself up on the couch while the other remained grounded on the floor. 

“No ordinary love.” Her hand found his ready erection poking through his light cotton boxers and began to rub him in rhythm with the slow, exotic rhythm. She fought the tears, as her insecurities intruded into the moment. Is this how he made love to her? Does he think I’m pathetic for still wanting him? Can’t he see how much I love him?

The singing gave way to instrumental music, and encouraged Chris to wrap Catelynn’s legs around him. His arm scooped under her, and like a child in her father’s arms she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. He carried her down the hallway to their bedroom, while she whispered the remaining echoes of the song. 

“I keep crying for you. I keep trying for you.” Chris laid her down the bed gently, and pulled her skirt off. He removed his boxers and with fluid movement of his entire body, moved on to the bed and over her. His hand stroked her forehead, and ran through her hair with fingers spread like a generous comb. 

“Why, Chris? Why don’t you love me anymore?” She knew her eyes were puffy, and her nose red and raw. She was always self conscious about how she looked in bed. Could he see her thighs jiggle when she was on top? Why weren’t her, albeit large, breasts more perky? And now, he had to kiss a snivelling raw nosed cry baby. 

Chris sensed her anguish and knowing her body image issues, he tried to defend her against herself. “You are so beautiful. I do love you. How can you not know that?”

Everything in her revolted at his good intentions, and took them as words to make her feel better. “Shut up. Please.. just, don’t say shit like that.” He had lied to her, and how could she believe him now. How could she trust him to say these things, that were to her soul like sun and rain to soil? Every doubt and fear she had, would only be reinforced by these things he said. They were no longer compliments, or confessions, but just things. And she hated them. 

“I want to be enough for you, and I know I’m not. How do I deal with that, now?” Her hot tears were streaking new paths down her cheek, as Chris lifted her head towards him and began to the corner of her mouth, the tip of her nose, her eyebrows and every flushed inch of skin he could find. 

“Cate,…” he sighed, and kissed her waiting lips again. But she couldn’t do it.  She didn’t want him looking at her, or talking to her, like that. 






