-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----

Tuckered Out

Copyright 1997 by Ellen Hayes.

No part of this work may be distributed as an original work by another
person or group.  Permission is given to redistribute this by electronic
means, as long as the entirety of the work is distributed, and credit is
given to the original author, me.  Any resemblance between the writings
in this work, and any actual persons or places, living or dead, are
purely coincidental, except when used for satirical purposes.

All rights reserved.

Furthermore,
This work contains adult situations, adult language, adult concepts, and
possibly sex.  If you are legally not allowed to read materials
containing such things, then you will be breaking the law by reading
this.  I am not responsible.
Continuing to read this document, or storing it or reproducing it
in any format means that you explicitly affirm that you are legally
allowed to possess and read such materials in your city, county/parish,
state, and country.


Tuckered Out

***
06:45 1 Nov

     "Good morning, Deb- who's this?"
     "Uh, Mom!  Uh, this is Valerie.  We went to the party last night,
and when we left I was too tired to drive her home.  We got here by
twelve thirty, but we both got up real early yesterday morning to get
ready."
     I thought I was dreaming until someone shook my shoulder and said,
"Wake up, Val.  Wake up..."
     I woke up, alright.
     *Ohmigod!  Ohmigod!* I thought as I sat bolt upright in bed,
staring at the sheriff leaning against the doorframe.
     I was going to scream, I think, but Debbie said, "Val, this is my
mom.  Mom, this is Valerie Walker, she's in my history class."
     "Hi," I managed.
     "Good morning, Valerie."  She nodded at me before turning back to
Debbie.  "Debbie, you know you're supposed to ask permission before
someone stays over."
     *Ohmigod her mom's a sheriff I'm gonna go to jail oh god where's my
pants?!*
     "I know, Mom, but we were too tired last night to drive any more.
And you said if I got that tired to get to a safe place and sleep.  So
we did."
     *What did she do with my pants?!*  I was still in the costume!
     She shook her head.  "Debbie... what am I gonna do with you?"
     "Keep me?"
     Her mom laughed.  "I guess so."  She thought for a second.  "You're
off this morning, aren't you?"
     "Yeah, an inservice thing."
     "Well, would you girls like to go to breakfast?"  Debbie looked at
me.  I looked back at her.  *Oh no,* I thought, knowing what Debbie was
going to say...
     "Sure, we'd love to.  Just let us get ready, okay?"
     "Alright.  I need to change out of this anyway."
     "Okay mom.  So do we," she grinned.
     Her mother turned her attention to me.  "Valerie, do your folks
know where you are?"
     Debbie answered, "We called 'em last night.  Remember?"  She
pinched me.
     "Uh, yeah, sort of."  I didn't remember.  "Yeah."
     Her mom nodded.  "Well, that's good.  Anyway, you two get ready so
we can eat.  I'm kind of hungry.  It was a busy night."
     "Okay Mom," said Debbie.
     She shut the door, and I almost pissed myself in relief.  *I can
make it out the window,* I thought in a panic...

***
06:51 1 Nov

     "Hold still, damnit!" she whispered fiercely.
     "Oh, God, I have to pee _now!_"
     "Just hold it in!  I have got to get this perfect!"  She whisked
frantically at my face with something out of the toolbox.
     "Whyyyy?!" I whined desperately.
     "'Cause now it's for real!"

***
07:02 1 Nov

     "Ahhhhh!" I said as I whizzed about a pint.  *Oh, God, that feels
goo-*
     The door opened and I almost died.  It was Debbie.
     "Come on, get done, we have to get ready!"
     "Ah, ah, ah, ah, shit!" I panted.
     "Well, hurry up!  And for Christ's sake, _sit down_!"

***
07:12 1 Nov

     None of her flat shoes fit my feet.  The heels from last night did,
though.
     "Oh, no, not again!"
     "Shhh, damnit!" she hissed as she dug through the closet.  "Shit
shit shit... Oh.  This..."  She pulled a pair of jeans out, then a
shirt, then a T shirt.  "Put this on!  And _hurry_!"
     I realized that I was still taped up and inside a corset.  When I
realized this, the itching started.  "Oh, Jesus," I moaned, scratching
myself frantically.
     "Get _dressed_!  Scratch yourself later!"

***
07:14 1 Nov

     "What's wrong with this shirt?"
     She looked up from her own frantic preparations.  And stopped, and
giggled.  "It buttons the other way, dummy!"
     "Which other way?"  I knew I had it on right side out.
     "No, the buttons are on the other side.  You have to do it the
other way than you're used to."
     "Oh."  Sure enough...
     "Hurry!  Don't button that anyway."
     "Why?"  I wasn't looking forward to this.
     "Because, I have to fix your hair!"
     "My-"  I felt my head.  "The wig!  You said it would come off!
It's still stuck to my head!"  I couldn't believe I hadn't noticed
before now.  On the other hand, I was rather preoccupied.
     "Shut _up_!" she shrieked back in a strangled tone.  "If my mom
figures this out, she is gonna kill _both_ of us!"
     "Oh God, oh God-"
     "Shut up, calm down, and act natural!  We can pull this off..."
She advanced on me, hairbrush in one hand and a spray bottle in the
other.

***
07:26 1 Nov

     Things got a little calmer after my hair and face were in place and
I was dressed.  Unfortunately, Debbie had gotten dressed at the same
time, so I didn't get to see her naked.  Now I was watching her do her
hair.  I liked watching Debbie do almost anything.
     She looked at me under her arm, and mentioned, "Oh, you need to
call Mike, too, in case your mom calls him."
     "I didn't call home last night!"
     "Yes, you did, you talked for almost a minute with your mom.  You
said you were over with Mike because you were both too tired to drive.
You fell asleep while you were talking, too."
     I stared at her.  "I don't remember..."
     "Would I lie?"

***
07:28 1 Nov

     "Hi, Mike?  Listen-"
     "Tuck?" he said sleepily.  "What the fuck are you doing?"
     "Mike, listen, man, please.  If my folks call, I was at your house
all night after a party."
     "Huh?  Do you know what time-"
     "Mike!  Wake up and listen!"
     "Okay, what?  At a party?"
     "I crashed at your house last night, after we both went to a party,
because we got out late and we were too tired to drive home.  Got it?"
     "Yeah.  What's-"
     "I'll tell you later.  I gotta go, the deputy's calling."
     "What?"
     "Bye!"

***
07:31 1 Nov

     "Hey, George, whatsup?"
     "It's early, Mike, really early.  I'm sleeping in."
     "Well, how about me paying you back for dinner last week.  Want
breakfast?"
     "Uhm."  Pause.  "Sure.  You pick me up?"
     "Yeah."
     Pause.  "Is Tuck coming?"
     "Ah...no.  There's something weird going on with him this morning."
     "Well, tell me about it when you get here, 'kay?  Bye."
     "See ya in a minute."

***
07:35 1 Nov

     "Do I look okay?" I asked, staring at myself in the mirror.
     "You look... pretty good, actually," she said casually, staring at
the wall.  Debbie wasn't really awake, after the earlier panic.
     "Good enough?"  I was kind of paranoid.
     She focused blearily on me.  "Yeah, good enough.  I think you ought
to be warm enough too."  She'd added a sweater, over the T shirt and
under the other shirt.  Layered, I guess.  I felt warm enough right now,
but then I usually do after a panic.
     "These heels don't look stupid?"
     She rolled her eyes at me.  "They look better than you wearing
shoes that don't fit.  Besides, they'll make you walk better."
     "Huh?"
     We heard her mom coming down the stairs then, so I didn't get to
find out what was wrong with my walking.
     "Ready?" her mom asked without any preamble.  We nodded, and out to
the car we went.  I was relieved that she'd changed.  The uniform was
making me nervous.  Come to think of it, her mom in general was making
me nervous.

***
07:41 1 Nov

     "So how was the party last night?" her mom asked as we drove
through the morning traffic.  She drove like a cop, too.
     "Oh, it was pretty fun, actually," replied Debbie.  I'd been
keeping my mouth shut unless it was absolutely necessary that I say
something.
     "Did you go with Tuck?"  My heart lept into my throat.
     "No, he was busy or something, and he couldn't go last night."
     "Oh, I'm sorry," her mom said, apparently sincerely.  "Well, who
else was there?"
     I stared out the window, trying to calm down.  I might just live
through this, I realized.  Maybe.

***
07:56 1 Nov

     "Table for three, please."
     "Oh," said the hostess, "Is this your daughter?"  Pointing at me.
     "No," her mom said, grinning, "this one's mine.  This is a friend
of hers from school."  She put a casual arm on Debbie's shoulder.
     I smiled bravely.
     She was about to lead us back to the tables, when I heard someone
choking behind me.  Reflexively, I turned to look, like everyone else.
     George Spaulding was bent over just inside the door, having a fit,
while Mike pounded on his back.
     I was going to die.
     Fear spurred me on, like it had yesterday.
     "Hey, guys," I said in an I-hoped-casual voice, "sorry we didn't
catch up with you last night, but we ended up staying at the party 'til
real late, and then I slept over at Debbie's house last night.  Um, you
know Debbie, and this is her mom."  I tried to keep my voice normal
while pleading with my face.  Then I turned around, and said, "Uh, this
is Mike and that's George, I think."
     They all said hellos.  Mike and George looked kind of stunned.
Mike said, "Oh, um, that's cool.  Uh, so how was the party?"
     I said, "Oh, it was alright..."
     I caught Debbie nodding at something, and her mom asked, "Could we
have a table for five?"  Turning to us, she said, "I figured you'd like
to be with your other friends too."

***
08:14 1 Nov

     "Um, ham and eggs, with toast and a side of bacon, please."
     "How do you want them eggs, miss?"
     I glared at Mike and George, but they didn't say anything.  They
just smirked.  "Uh, over easy please."
     "So what happened at the party last night?" George asked.  Debbie
and I stared at each other.
     "Um," I said.  "Nothing much, I guess."
     "Well..." said Debbie.

***
09:25 1 Nov

     "Oh, boy," said Debbie's mom after a humongous yawn.  "I think we'd
better think about heading home, kiddo.  It was a long night."
     "Um, well," interjected Debbie, "we were kinda gonna go hang out at
the mall or something for a while.  Right?" she asked me.  She kicked me
under the table to give me a hint.
     "Uh, yeah," I said, nodding.  I didn't know how to get out of some
of the costuming.
     "Oh, well, if you're going to the mall, could you pick something up
for Aunt Kathy's shower?  I haven't had the energy the last couple of
days, and it's this Saturday."
     "Uh, yeah, I guess... did you have something in mind?" Debbie
asked, as she squeezed my hand under the table.
     She mentioned some arcane female thing, which I didn't get.  Debbie
nodded.
     "Oh, well, we were going there too," said Mike helpfully.  I glared
at him as he went on, "Maybe we could take the girls there for you, so
you could get home.  Ma'am."
     "Well, that's awfully nice of you, Michael, but I wouldn't want to
put you to any trouble," she said.
     "Oh, no trouble," they both said.  And grinned.  *Oh, no,* I
thought.

***
09:31 1 Nov

     "Oh, noooo," I moaned as she dragged me into the women's room.
     "Oh, stop whining," she ordered.  Leaning close to my face, she
whispered, "And don't forget to sit down this time, okay?"

***
09:36 1 Nov

     "Debbie, don't stay out too late, alright?  We have some chores to
do this afternoon, remember?"  She arched her eyebrow.
     "Yes, mom," Debbie sighed.
     "Alright, then, you be good," she said, giving Debbie a hug.  "Nice
meeting you guys," she said as she got into her Blazer.  I almost
choked.
     Debbie elbowed me in the ribs.  "Look happy," she hissed through a
smile.  I smiled.  "Wave!"  I waved.

***
09:40 1 Nov

     "Don't you ever clean the back of your car out?" Debbie asked.
     Mike pulled his head out of the back seat.  "No, not usually," he
admitted.
     "Jeezus, hurry up," I complained, then stared at the battered truck
that honked as it pulled into the parking lot.  They honked again and
waved at me.
     Debbie scolded, "Would you stop encouraging them?"
     "Me?!"

***
09:46 1 Nov

     "So what the hell has been going on?" asked Mike as we pulled out
of the parking lot.
     "Uh," I said.
     "Well, it's like this," said Debbie.

***
10:04 1 Nov

     "He _kissed_ you?"
     "Hey, it wasn't _my_ fucking idea, okay?  He-"
     "Was it on the lips?" asked George.
     Everyone else was quiet as I gagged.  "No," I finally managed.
"Thank God."
     "Was he that bad a kisser?" asked Debbie.

***
10:07 1 Nov

     "Well, then what happened?" asked George.
     Debbie and I looked at each other.
     "Oh, we just talked a lot," she said, not taking her eyes off me.
She grabbed my hand and rubbed along my thigh.
     "Just talked?" questioned Mike.  "You two were alone in a dark
locked room, and all you could think of was to talk?"
     I just grinned.  I didn't want to tell them quite what really
happened, but there was no denying it had made me feel better.  Even
dressed like Maid Marian at the time, it had made me feel manly,
somehow.  Don't ask how.
     "What are _you_ smiling at, asshole?"
     I just chuckled.  So did Debbie.
     Pause.
     "Oh, no way.  Not with _Tuck_..."

***
10:09 1 Nov

     "They came in?"
     "Well, it was Lisa's house, and they have some kind of funky door
locks or something.  So she thought it was someone else in there, so she
just popped it."
     "Oh, man, what were you doing?"
     We both laughed.  And laughed.
     After a minute, Mike asked, "Well, did you have your clothes on,
at least?"
     I pointed at Debbie, and laughed harder.  She licked her fingers,
which made it worse.
     "Your makeup's gonna run if you keep that up," pointed out George.
I flicked him the bird.  "No thanks, you're not my type."

***
10:18 1 Nov

     Mike parked the car and turned off the engine.  "Well, here we
are," he said unnecessarily.
     "I think I'll stay here," I said, to a storm of protest.
     "Oh, come on!" said Mike.
     "It'll get cold!" explained George.
     "You'll be all alone out here," pointed out Debbie.  "And it might
take us a while.  And every high school kid in town is off today."

***
10:20 1 Nov

     "Heels?" Mike asked as he held the door open for the rest of us.
     "Nothing else fit," I muttered as I got the next door.
     "They look good on you," George said.  "They make your butt move
right."
     "See?" said Debbie.
     "Oh, great, that's just what _I_ need," I said bitterly.
     "Hey, in front of your girlfriend's mom, this morning, I _think_
you could have used all the help you could get," said Mike.
     "Oh Jeezus, don't remind me," I said as the hair went up on my
arms.  "I can't believe I'm still out of jail."
     "Jail?"
     I looked at him.  "Did Debbie ever mention what her mom does for a
living?"
     "Uh, no..."

***
10:23 1 Nov

     "God, that's scary," George said after he caught back up with us.
"I can't tell the difference."
     "The heels make a big difference," Debbie explained.  "They'd even
work for you!" she exclaimed, pointing at Mike.
     "Oh, no!" he protested, waving his arms.
     "Oh, yes!" I enthused.  "Him next!"
     "Hmmm," said Debbie, looking thoughtful.  She stopped walking.  So
did we.  "Hmmm," she said again.  She stared at Mike.
     "You're kidding, right?" asked Mike, a note of panic in his voice.
     "Depends on how good a boy you are," she finally said.  "That goes
for you, too, Georgie."
     "We'll be good, we'll be good!" they chorused.
     "Hey, what about me?" I asked.  "What did _I_ do to deserve this?"
     She grinned as she leaned close to my ear.  "It's not what you
did," she whispered, "it's what you get as a reward.  My dear."  And she
stuck her tongue in my ear.  My eyeballs shot up to the ceiling as I
shivered.
     When she stopped, and I came back down to earth, George asked,
"Hey, if I let you do that to me," pointing at me, "will you suck on my
ear too?"
     "No."
     "Well, forget that, then."

***
10:31 1 Nov

     "Hey, uh, Valerie."  Oh, God, I hated that name.
     "What, Mike?"
     "The guys keep looking at you."
     I sighed.  "I know.  Debbie did too good a job."
     "You know," he told me helpfully, "it'd help if you didn't wiggle
your butt like that."  George snickered.
     "I am _not_ wiggling my butt!  It's these damned shoes."
     "Oh, yah, heheh, heheheh, heheh, shoes, heheh..."  George's
imitation of Beavis was uncanny.
     "Here, _you_ try 'em if you don't believe me," I said, slipping out
of them.  The tile was cold on my feet.  No socks, or hose, 'cause it
was kind of busy when I got dressed.  I didn't miss 'em.  The hose,
anyway.
     "No _way_ in _hell_!" he said.
     "So what's she getting in there anyway?" Mike asked, looking
through the window at her.
     "I dunno.  Something for a shower..."
     "Baby or bridal?" Mike asked.  I stared at him.
     "I don't have the foggiest idea, Mike."  We looked up at the sign.
Laura Ashley Mother and Child, it said.  "Could be anything."

***
10:34 1 Nov

     "So, what now, oh great leader?" asked George, bowing to Debbie.
     "I want to go look at some stuff," she said.
     Me and Mike and George looked at each other.  Mike smacked himself
in the forehead.  "I shoulda known," he complained.
     "Don't be such a wuss, or I'll be buying for you, too."

***
10:41 1 Nov

     "What do you think of this?" she asked me as she turned in front of
the mirror.
     "Nice," I replied, nervously not staring at anything or anyone.
Well, trying real hard.  I don't think I'd ever been in a girl's
dressing room.  It was too much like a girl's bathroom for me.
     "Oh, come on, Val, you can do better than that.  _Look_ at me for a
second."  I looked.
     "Very nice," I said, thinking hard.  "I like the way it shows off
your..."  I didn't know a delicate way to put it, so I just waved both
hands around the bow on my sweater.  The one on the neckline.  Which was
rather too low for my tastes this morning.  On me, anyway.
     "Looks almost as good as yours, eh?" she commented.
     "Ah, no," I said.  Just then, some older woman came in with three,
count 'em, _three_ young girls.  Young like freshmen.  Thank God none of
'em knew me.  One of them stared at me as she went back to a changing
stall.  "Bugger off, ya little rugrat," I muttered under my breath.
     "What?" asked Debbie.
     "Nothing."
     "Well, do you like this one better than the last one?"
     I thought hard.  "Um, I dunno."  She stared at me, and I knew she
wanted more detail.  Just like English class.  "Uh, this one makes you
look a little sweeter, more, uh, demure, but the other one makes you
look more sexy.  I guess," I added, in case the brat was still
listening.
     "Well, if you were a guy, which one would you like better?" she
asked, a large grin on her face.
     "Debbie!" I protested, my face going red.  I pleaded silently with
her to not do things like that.
     "Well, just imagine that you _were_," she pressed on.
     "Uh.... the second one."
     "Cool.  That's my pick too.  On to the next one..."
     "How many did you get?" I asked.  I'd lost count.
     "Eight." she said as we walked back to her stall.
     "Eight?  You're gonna try on eight?"

***
10:58 1 Nov

     "I like it, I like it," said Mike about the final choice.
     "Me too, me too, heheh heheheh heh heheh," added George.
     "Cool," said Debbie.

***
11:12 1 Nov

     "So- Val, pay attention!"
     "Uh, sorry..."  There were a lot of half-naked women wandering
around in here.  I kept trying to not watch, but my eyes kept-
     "Now, which one do you like better?"
     "Huh?"
     "Valerie!  _Wake up_!"

***
11:26 1 Nov

     "Hey, guys, over here!"  She let out a sharp whistle, and
_everyone_ looked our way.  *Just what _I_ need,* I thought.  *More
attention.*
     She held the dress up in the air.
     They both gave a thumbs up from the discount jewelry counter,
thirty feet away.
     "Cool," Debbie said.

***
11:31 1 Nov

     "Again?" Mike asked.
     "Just a little longer," consoled Debbie.  We both snorted.  *I've
never heard _this_ line before,* I thought.
     "So when's _Val_ gonna try something on?" George asked evilly.
     "As soon as you agree to pay for it," shot back Debbie, as I tried
to swallow my heart again.

***
11:47 1 Nov

     "So which one do you like better?"
     "Uh..."

***
11:52 1 Nov

     "Cool," she said, then went to the counter to pay for it.
     My feet hurt.  Bad.

***
11:55 1 Nov

     I didn't like the way the guys were eyeing me, especially the two
that were with me.  When I heard them chuckling, I finally snapped.
     "What the hell are you two dorks laughing at?"
     "Nothing, nothing... Uh, Debbie, can I ask you a question?" said
Mike.  He whispered something in her ear, and she got a surprised look
on her face, then nodded.
     George just rocked back and forth on his heels smiling.

***
12:18 1 Nov

     "Debbie, can I _please_ skip this one?"  My feet hurt.  So did the
rest of me, but especially my feet.
     "No, not this time.  Come on."  She took me into the dressing area
again.  I'd been in more of them today than I normally saw in a year.
Well, I normally saw the guy ones.
     "I got this one for you," she said casually as we went towards a
stall.  She shoved me in as I started to protest.  Then she threw the
dress over the door.
     "But, but, I thought you said I wouldn't have to!" was the best I
could come up with.  She was holding the door shut, too.
     "They had the money.  Now, come on.  They want to see you.  I do
too."
     *I'll bet they do,* I seethed.
     After considering my options (none), I started to take my clothes
off.  Before I got too far down, though, I checked outside the door.
Debbie was standing guard.  *Well, one problem solved...*
     As I slipped the dress on, the tag caught my eye.  It was on sale,
about twenty bucks.  *Those cheap bastards,* I thought.  It sure felt
nice, though, considering.  Nice and cool.  Then I tried to figure out
how I was gonna button it when the buttons were in the back.

***
12:24 1 Nov

     "Well, what do you think?  Val, turn around real slow."  I turned
around real slow, embarrassed almost to death.  Not to mention
frightened.  The little brat from several stores back had been there,
and she'd given me a _real_ hard look this time.  And I'd been sweating
and trying to get my arms to bend places they weren't supposed to bend.
Trying on girl's clothes was a _pain_.  I didn't know how Debbie could
keep going.
     "Damn," said Mike.
     "Eerie," commented George.  "Simply... eerie."
     "Here, what do you think, Val?" Debbie asked, turning me to face a
mirror.
     I saw, in the mirror, the same thing I'd seen yesterday - someone
way too good.  I mean, my nose was still beaky, and I had a zit on my
forehead, and my face was a little rounded towards the bottom, and
everything else, but I looked... nice.  For a girl.  Not the girl you'd
drool over, at least not in this dress, but someone you wouldn't mind
your mom seeing.
     The dress had a lot of lace on it, and had a really tight waist,
which made the curves look curvier than they were.  It was in this sort
of floral print, mostly white and blue.  Something a nice, cute
secretary would wear.  I looked nice and cute in it.  Like George said,
eerie.
     "Debbie?" I whispered in her ear.  "You'd wear this, right?"  She
nodded, smiling.  I could imagine her in it quite well, and I liked the
picture.  Much better than me in it, anyway.
     "Okay, guys," I said, whirling around.  *Put yer money where your
mouth is,* I thought.
     "Okay, what?" asked Mike.
     "I want this one.  So you have to buy it."  The look on their faces
was almost worth being there in it.
     "But it's _twenty bucks_!" complained Mike.  George just stared.
     Having seen some of the prices on the stuff Debbie bought, I wasn't
real sympathetic.  "And cheap at twice the price, wouldn't you agree,
gentlemen?"  I turned to Debbie.  "Come on, let's get this off so they
can pay for it."
     She just grinned.

***
12:29 1 Nov

     "I can't believe you did that," complained Mike, holding the bag
with "my" dress in it.
     "_I_ can't believe you want to see me doing this so much!" I shot
back.
     "It's funny!"
     "Heheh heheheh heh, funny, yeah, heheheh heh," added George.  
     "It is _not_ funny.  If you think it's so damned funny, then _you_
try doing it," I snapped.  George's Beavis was pretty lame, though.  I
think he was still freaked out.
     "But you're so _good_ at it, _Vallllerrrrie_," drawled George.
     "Oh... fuck off," I said, for lack of something better.
     "Children," chided Debbie.  "Are we ready?"
     Mike said, "Hell, _I_ want to go look in the game shop, if we've
spent all this time here."  I wanted to, too, but realized it might not
be a clever idea, especially if one of the clerks figured it out.  It
wasn't Halloween any more, after all.
     "Well, then let's get on," said Debbie, and led us off down the
halls.
     We'd walked maybe halfway when someone called to Debbie.  My heart
froze when she turned her head.  I prayed frantically, *Oh, please don't
let it be someone from school oh please oh please...*  as my heart
slammed back into turbo mode.
     It was Lisa, the hostess of the party last night.  "Hey Debbie,
what's up?"  Then she saw me.  And grinned, just like Debbie.  "Hey,
Valerie!" she said, all excited.  "It's so _nice_ to see you again!"
     "Uh," I said as she swept up and hugged me.  "Huh-hi," I stuttered.
     "And who are _these_ guys?" she asked, turning to George and Mike.
They were caught between laughing like hell and keeping quiet for me.
     "A couple of friends of ours," said Debbie, putting her arm around
George's waist.  He started.  "And maybe the next victims."
     George yanked loose, while Mike edged away.  I snorted.
     "Well, well, well," said Lisa, still grinning.  "Debbie, I have
_got_ to show you something.  Come on."  She took Mike, and started
walking the way we were going.  Debbie grabbed George in a thumb lock,
and I came by myself.  Not being an idiot.
     "So what's up with her this morning?" asked Lisa.  She jerked a
thumb at me.
     "Well, we, I couldn't get all the costume off last night, so she
ended up staying over," said Debbie.  "At least I tried to take off the
hard parts first, so she looked okay this morning."
     "Omigod."  She giggled.  "Did you ask your mom first?"
     "Well, no... what happened was..."

***
12:33 1 Nov

     Whatever she wanted to show Debbie was in Victoria's Secret.  I
declined to go in, thinking I'd had enough exposure to femininity for
one day.  That was a mistake.
     "Hey, the game shop's just around the corner," remembered George.
     "Val, we'll be back in a minute, okay?  Don't go anywhere," ordered
Mike.
     "Uh, wait guys!"  I took a couple of steps after them, then
recognized someone I knew.  Someone I didn't want to recognize me,
either.  "Oh.... damnit!"  I didn't think, before, that I'd dated that
many people, but here was another ex.  Eugene Tucker, stud muffin.
     There were some pushcarts with jewelry and stuff, so I turned to
look at them, hoping nobody would recognize me from behind.  Having
other people around me made me _real_ nervous, but I was beginning to
think that people were dumber than I'd thought, 'cause nobody'd caught
on yet.
     I was staring around, actually looking for stuff for Christmas
gifts, when I heard someone cursing.  I didn't want to look.
     "You fucking bitch!" it said, and a hand spun me around.
     It was Bobby McPhearson.  *Oh, fuck...*
     They said, in biology class, that your adrenal glands are right on
top of your kidneys, and suficient nervous stimulation will cause them
to release all their stored adrenaline.  I think.
     I _felt_ it happen, in half a second.  Whizzz...
     "You got me fucking suspended!  I'm gonna kill you!"
     *Fuckfuckfuckfuck...*  He swung at me, and I ducked.  His fist hit
the post on the cart, hard enough to make the whole thing rattle.
     I backed up a step, then slid the heels off and slid sideways
around the cart.  Then I ran like hell.
     "Get back here!" he screamed.  *Yeah, right, not!*
     I remembered that he'd run track.  I wondered if fear would give me
the edge.  *Oh, God, don't let me die...*  I was glad Debbie couldn't
find any stockings this morning.
     "You fucking cunt!"  I could hear his feet right behind mine as he
gave chase.
     I wasn't looking in front of me, really, just enough to dodge the
faceless people in my way, so when something on my right side stood up
and _up_ and said "Whatthehell?" and reached out for me, I was taken
totally by surprise.  I shrieked, and tried to dodge.  Unfortunately,
the tile floors didn't give much traction, and I lost what I had.
     I screamed all the way down and as I bounced and thrashed along the
floor, 'cause I _knew_ Bobby was right behind me with blood on his mind.
I actually ended up tumbling into the side of a planter, but as soon as
I stopped moving I tried to get up while trying to track Bobby again.
He hadn't kicked me yet...
     Someone was in front of him, and the two of them were screaming at
each other.  *Travis??!* I thought in amazement.
     When several hands grabbed me from behind, I thought I'd missed
Bobby somehow, or that it was a friend of his or something, and he'd
nailed me from behind.  I screamed, loud and hard, but that was the last
thing I did, though, because my overworked heart blew a breaker, and I
passed out.  Fainted.

***
12:36 1 Nov

     When I woke up, I felt someone shaking me and asking desperately,
"Valerie?  Valerie?!"
     I slammed back into overdrive and shrieked as I tried to scrabble
backwards.  I'd made about two feet in maybe half a second when I
realized it was Travis.  And I backed into the planter hard enough to
hurt.
     "It's okay, Valerie, it's okay," Travis said, holding his hands
out. He was on his knees in front of me.  "The police got him.  It's
okay."
     *I'm gonna live?*  That, on top of everything else, just tore it.
I couldn't help it.  I just burst into tears.
     "It's okay, it's okay," said Travis as he moved forward and
gathered me up in his arms.  I wanted to scream, but it came out as
harder crying, and he just held me gently.  "It's okay," he mumbled,
rocking me back and forth.  I was so humiliated, I wanted to die.  Of
course, that made me cry harder.
     "Poor baby," crooned Debbie, stroking my back.  "Poor baby, it's
alright now..."

***
13:14 1 Nov

     After the police talked to everyone, they took Bobby dearest away.
Charges; assault, minor intoxication, public intoxication, driving while
intoxicated.
     As I got the story from everyone, Bobby had swung at Travis after
threatening to kill both of us.  He'd lost the fight, and Travis was
dragging him outside in a headlock while Debbie and the rest of the
crowd tended to me.  I was passed out at the time.
     When the cops showed up, they told Travis to drop Bobby, which he
did.  Bobby came back up swinging, and hit Travis again.  When the cops
tried to control him, he smacked one of them in the jaw.  They bounced
him on the floor and got him cuffed, again.  He was dumb enough, or
drunk enough, to tell them that he'd driven to the mall, and he was
pretty toasty, or so Debbie said.  He'd also admitted that he'd been
trying to beat me and Travis.  _And_, he'd knocked down a couple of
people, including this little old lady.  They pressed charges too.
     "Dumb, dumb, dumb," chuckled Debbie.  I was too busy enjoying
breathing again.  Debbie had loosened the corset while I was passed out.
She'd also helpfully found my shoes.  One step forward, one step back...
     "So what's gonna happen to him?" asked George.
     "Well," replied Lisa, "hopefully his parents will be too busy to
make bail for a while.  And isn't he still suspended from school?"
     "I think so," said Debbie.  They laughed, an evil sound.
     "That asshole," rumbled Travis, rubbing his fists.  "That asshole,"
he reiterated.  I couldn't really look at him.  He'd kissed me, again,
when the cops called him over to give a statement, after he'd been
holding me for like ten minutes.  In front of my two best friends, and
my _girlfriend_, while I cried.  It felt like I'd been slapped, where
his lips had touched me.  At least it was on the cheek again, instead
of... I didn't want to think about it.
     Lisa chuckled.  "That asshole is gonna be in jail for a while.
Val, how come you didn't press charges yourself?"
     "I don't want to get into a court case."  Especially not like
_this_.  Everyone nodded solemnly except Travis.
     "That asshole," said Travis.
     "Trav, dahling, you're being repetitive," drawled Lisa.
     "Jeezus," said Mike finally.  "Jeezus."
     "So, anyone up for lunch?" asked Debbie hopefully.

***
13:27 1 Nov

     "Table for six, please."  The host walked us over to a couple of
tables, and Mike and Travis helped push them together while the rest of
us arranged seats.
     When everything was done, I was about to collapse into one when
Debbie took my hand and announced, "We'll be right back."  Lisa followed
us after telling the guys what we were going to drink.
     I'd been through so much today, that I hardly freaked at all as
they pushed open the door to the women's room.

***
13:32 1 Nov

     "Hold still!" commanded Debbie as she worked on my eyes.
     "Why didn't you use waterproof?" asked Lisa.  Helpful as always.
     "'Cause I didn't think of it this morning as I tried to avoid
sudden painful death from my mother," Debbie snapped.  "It was kind
of... busy, this morning."
     I moaned.  I wasn't having a good day.  My ribs hurt.

***
13:37 1 Nov

     "That's it?  Nachos?" asked Travis.
     I said, "I don't feel too well."  I felt... well, I felt like I'd
been running for my life and then beaten with a stick.  Half true.  I
also felt sort of nauseous.
     "Besides, you're on a diet, remember?" said George.
     "George!" I wailed.  "Leave me the hell alone!"
     Debbie leaned over to whisper in my ear, "He'll be next, I think. A
redhead, perhaps?"  That made me feel better.  I looked at George.
*Definitely a redhead.*  I nodded, almost snickering.  We both grinned
at George when he looked at us.  It seemed to make him nervous.
     "So how long are you going to be in town?" Travis asked me.
     "Uh..."

***
13:40 1 Nov

     "Here, that fall you took was pretty nasty.  Take this," Lisa said,
and handed me half a pill.
     "Wha-"
     "Valium," whispered Debbie in my ear.  "You need to calm down
some."
     I needed to calm down some.  I swallowed it dry.

***
14:12 1 Nov

     Mike and George had choked down their food like it was a race, and
when they got done, they looked at each other.
     "I think they had a Street Fighter 2 out front," said George.  They
both got up.
     "We'll be by the games," said Mike, right before they walked off.
     I watched Debbie and Lisa watch them walk off.  Then the girls
looked at me and Travis.  Then they started talking to each other and
ignoring us.
     Reluctantly, I looked at Travis.  He shrugged.
     *Great, now what?* I thought.
     "Geeks," he commented.  And smiled.
     I smiled back.  "Yeah..."
     Pause.
     "So, uh, what do you like to do for fun, up in New York?" he
eventually inquired.
     "Oh, uhm," I looked at Debbie for inspiration.  She was so deep in
her conversation, I think she forgot I existed.  I looked back at
Travis.  "I don't get out much, I guess.  I'm kind of a stay-at-home."
     "Huh," he said.  "Why?  You seem like the kind of girl who'd go out
a lot."
     "Why?"
     "Oh, just..."  He thought about it.  "I dunno.  You looked really
good last night.  And New York is the still the capital of night life n
the East Coast."
     "You're kidding!" I said without thinking.  "I was scared out of my
mind."
     "Really?"  He looked at the table.  "You sure didn't look nervous.
You had this sort of serene look, actually."  Pause.  "Are you nervous
now?"
     I gave a little fake laugh.  "Why should I be nervous?"  I let some
of the hysteria out, too.  He laughed at that.
     "Yeah, okay, dumb question," he admitted.  "You just, I guess you
cover it well."  I shrugged.  "So what do you do with your time?"
     I looked at the table.  It sure was... safe, to look at.  "Uh, I'm
a nerd, I guess.  Nerdette," I corrected myself.  "Read a lot, play on
my computer, that sort of thing."
     "You're kidding," he disputed.  "No way!"
     I smiled and looked at him, shrugging.  "Would I lie?"

***
14:39 1 Nov

     "Uh, Debbie, can I, uh..."  I'd forgotten my purse, which is where
Debbie had stashed my wallet.  Which had all my money.
     "I'll get yours, Valerie," said Travis.  He grinned.  "It's not
like you ate that much, anyway."
     "Uh, I-"  Debbie kicked me, _hard_, under the table.  And nodded
slightly.  I smiled weakly.  "Uh, thanks."
     "No problem.  Can I walk you out to your car?  In case Bobby's
still around."  As if.
     Debbie kicked me again.  Same spot.  "Uh!  Sure," I sighed.  This
was going to be trouble, I just knew it.  And my leg hurt.
     When we all got up, he offered his arm.  Debbie managed to kick me
a third time, same place, as we left the restaurant, as a hint.  I
sighed again, and took his arm.  When I caught a glimpse of Mike, he was
staring at me like I'd grown horns.  Or boobs.  But what else was I
supposed to do?  Debbie was going to break my leg eventually...
     "You two look like a matched set," smiled Lisa.

***
14:35 1 Nov

     "Look, we really need to get her home," said Debbie, finally.  Mike
and George just kind of hung around the car.  Watching.
     "Okay," said Travis, looking at me.  Then he walked towards me.
*Oh no...*
     Debbie let go about the same time Travis opened his arms up and
reeled me in.  I tried real real hard not to run screaming.  The Valium
was helping a lot.  I just sort of whimpered instead.
     "You be careful," he said over my ear, then let me out just far
enough that he could kiss me.  On the nose.  I went cross-eyed watching
him do it, but I didn't figure out what he was doing in time to pull
away.
     He rubbed my shoulder affectionately before he walked off.
     I got into the car, stunned.  And stoned.  Mike and George followed
me and Debbie in, and they looked stunned too.  I wondered if Lisa had
slipped them the other half of the pill.
     "He's sweet," said Debbie admiringly.

***
14:38 1 Nov

     "Boy, he sure cries a lot," said George as I sobbed into Debbie's
shoulder.
     "Hey, lay off," said Mike unexpectedly.  "You'd cry too if some guy
kissed you."
     It wasn't that.  It really wasn't.  It was just the whole thing,
and the stress.
     "I'd beat the hell out of him is what I'd do!"
     "Oh, yeah, right, Mister Muscle Midget... besides, did you see how
big he was?  He nailed McFear pretty good..."
     "Shhhh, there, there," whispered Debbie into my ear.  She was a lot
softer than Travis.

***
14:59 1 Nov

     "You sure everyone's gone?" I asked nervously as Mike unlocked the
door.
     "Sure I'm sure," he said.
     "Come on, we got a lot to do," said Debbie.  She pushed Mike up the
stairs, and we all followed into Mike's room.
     "Well?" asked Mike.
     Debbie was pulling things out of one of the bags she'd gotten.  "No
sweat.  Val, lie down on the bed."  I did.  The shoes hit the floor as I
jettisoned them.  *Ahhhh....*  I felt better already.
     The smell of acetone filled the room as she dipped several Qtips in
the bottle.  When she pulled them out, she stuck them under the edge of
the wig.
     "Now for those nails," she mused.  George and Mike lounged around,
watching.
     "Pay attention, guys, you may have to do this yourselves someday."
They didn't like that.

***
15:06 1 Nov

     "Ah!  Ah!  Ah!  Damnit!"
     "There, that wasn't so hard, was it?"
     "My _head_.... ahhhhh..."  I started to rub my forehead, then
thought better of the idea when I touched it.  It burned.
     "Okay!" she said enthusiastically.  "Now, sit up and take your
clothes off.  Mike, can he borrow some stuff for a while?"
     "Uh, yeah, I guess," he said, not too happy.  I was _very_ happy,
shedding the sweater in a couple of heartbeats.  I realized as I fumbled
at the jeans that I was going to be naked in front of everyone, but
somehow, at this point, I didn't really care.  I mean, I'd been wearing
a _dress_ in front of them not too long ago.

***
15:08 1 Nov

     "Where's your _dick_?" asked George, staring at the G string and
its lack of a bulge.
     "Oh, _believe_ me, it's in there somewhere," said Debbie, and
snickered.
     "Come on, Debbie, take it off..." I whined.
     "_I_ want to see how she did those boobs," said Mike.
     She reached behind me and fumbled with the laces for a _very_ long
time before it loosened.  She had to peel it off.
     "Ahhhhh....!" I said as it painfully unstuck from my skin.
     The bags of pink goo fell to the floor.  Mike and George stared at
them like they were snakes.
     "Okay, this is gonna sting a little bit," said Debbie casually.
Then she ripped off one of the strips of duct tape.
     "AHHHH!" I screamed, leaping straight up.
     "Ah!" said Mike and George, startled.
     "Oooh," remarked Debbie.  "Maybe we'd better get it all off quick."

***
15:10 1 Nov

     My eyes were leaking again when Debbie finished.  Oh God, it felt
like someone had set my chest on fire.  It looked like it too.
     "Shit," said George.
     "Oww, oh God it hurts," I moaned.
     "Come on, move your hands.  I got some Solarcaine here."  She
sprayed my chest, which felt like ice.  Not a good feeling.  After a few
seconds, though, it started to slow down hurting.  Not stop, but slow
down, at least.
     "Now, the makeup last," she said, pulling out something that looked
like baby wipes.  "Wipe your face with these," she said.  I scrubbed and
scrubbed.  It felt funny, like oily or something.  The smeared makeup on
the wipe looked like an abstract painting.
     "Close your eyes," commanded Debbie.  She dabbed at them with
another one for a while.  When I saw what had come off my eyes, I was
flabbergasted.  It hadn't _looked_ like that much on my face.
     "No wonder they call it face paint," said Mike.

***
15:24 1 Nov

     They dropped me off first, thank God.  I was about ready to pass
out, what with everything and the Valium and everything.  Debbie gave me
another long kiss before I got out, though.  I liked that.
     I staggered in, noticing that Mom wasn't home, thank God.  The
first order of business was a shower.  I still itched.  A lot.
     *At least Debbie gave me the Solarcaine,* I thought as I trudged up
the stairs.

***
15:41 1 Nov

     As I opened the bathroom door, dripping wet but not itching any
more, the first thing I saw was my little brother. The first thing he
saw was me.
     "Jesus, what happened to you?" he asked, staring at my chest.  What
he was seeing, was the same thing I'd seen when I got in.  Solid red
chest, with deeper red lines where the steel rods of the corset had
been, and a big bruise on the right side where I'd taken a dive at the
mall.  And red marks on my forehead.  Dark circles under my eyes that
weren't leftover makeup.  The eyes themselves were bloodshot.  I had
more bruises on my arm, and if he'd seen how my feet had swollen up, he
would have stared at those, too.  And I think I was developing a bruise
where Debbie kicked me, too.
     "Debbie had this idea, y'see," I said casually.  Then I decided, *I
don't have to tell him nothing.*  It would probably be smart not to,
too.
     I pushed past him, and walked towards my room, singing, "Oh yo-o-o,
why you always give me the runa-oof," pausing as I ran into the door.
"Runaround," I continued, punching in the access code to disarm the
Anti-Relative System.  I loved Blues Traveller.
     My bed was quite soft and cool and soothing.  I remember laying
down on it.  Oh, man, was I fucked up.

***
18:35 1 Nov

     Someone was knocking on my head- no, that was the door.
     "Eugene?  It's supper time, come on."  It was my mother.  *Argh.*
I didn't even want to try bothering to get out of eating.  She whined a
lot when I tried that; she thought I was too skinny already.  As if.
     I struggled out of bed and into some of my own clothes, then
staggered downstairs, holding on to both railings.
     Brother Brian was staring at me as I fell into my seat.  I smiled
and nodded at everyone.
     "So how was the party?" asked Mom before she looked at me.
     "Oh, lots of fun, lots of fun.  I'm never doing that again," I
stated.  "Hey, mashed potatoes, my fave, thanks Mom."  I helped myself
to a lot.
     When I looked up again, everyone was staring at me.

***
19:07 1 Nov

     "Brian?  Five bucks if you clean up for me tonight."
     He thought about it for a minute, then said, "Deal."  We shook on
it, and I crawled back upstairs and into bed.
     *What a day,* I thought.  That was the last thing I thought.

***

"What a night.  Where's my underwear?"

TS Tip #2: If someone asks you which bathroom you use, slap them.


"Tallyho!"      \   /     @>--,--'--  ehayes@nym.alias.net  + vicki .sig
Ellen Hayes --=(*)=(*)=-- Renaissance Woman    ==[--------  + virus 9.1a


-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: 2.6.2

iQCVAwUBM8VlLHYDebnvyV1VAQEYuAP+M0Qs63z7ScwC7pkAgqb/BPh9nAnHHBfx
q4uoTTisGsemzDdUfwO6INQh4g9uJeV10pFjokjHYQ/S8Hh0kuz2QoxM5hczIoH1
yIzrJ4M6PXmZ4zZQsJpygpL1Rb8URVGZxEUhFrJKpvrX3P2xi5/Wy91N81Qfh14P
TaBmGkzW8cQ=
=hp3Y
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----
