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Tuck and Run -*- Copyright 1998 by Ellen Hayes.

Any resemblance between the writings in this work, and any actual
persons or places, living or dead, are purely coincidental, except when
used for satirical purposes.

This work contains adult situations, adult language, adult concepts, and
possibly sex.  If you are legally not allowed to read materials
containing such things, then you will be breaking the law by reading
this.  I am not responsible.
Continuing to read this document, or storing it or reproducing it
in any format means that you explicitly affirm that you are legally
allowed to possess and read such materials in your city, county/parish,
state, and country.

All rights reserved.  See the bottom for distribution rights.


Tuck and Run


***
21:04 14 Mar

     "Val?"
     I opened my eyes, and the first thing I saw was Debbie.  Oh, God, I
was so lucky to have her here in my bed-
     "Valerie?  Come on, time to wake up."  That was Lisa.  I looked up,
and it wasn't my bed I was in; it wasn't my room either.  Then I
remembered.
     Debbie shifted, and opened her eyes.  "Mmmmm," she smiled at me.
     Lisa urged, "Come on, you two, Travis is here."
     "We'll be down in a minute," Debbie said over her shoulder.  Lisa
shut the door.  Debbie turned back to me and hugged me fiercely.  "You
be careful tonight, lover."
     "I will, I promise."  We shared a little kiss.
     She smiled, a little sadly, at me.  "I'd kiss you more, but I don't
want to mess up your makeup."

***
21:06 14 Mar

     "Oh, hey," said Travis.  I was getting a little tired of seeing
him today, but at least this time I was prepared.

***
21:09 14 Mar

     "You two have fun," Debbie told us as we were walking out the door.
Travis assured her that we would.  I just waved, and blew her a kiss
when Travis wasn't looking.  I think she winked back.

***
21:10 14 Mar

     "So where are we going?" I asked him after he started his truck.
     "Um, there's this party a friend of mine is having, I thought we
could go to it.  If it's okay with you," he added, glancing at me.
     *Sure, what the hell.*  "That'd be okay," I said.

***
21:28 14 Mar

     There were a lot of cars parked on both sides of the street.
Travis found an empty spot far away from ground zero.  "Looks like a
party," I remarked.
     "Uh, yeah, it's, uh, before spring break is over.  I thought you
might like to go or something.  Uh."  He sounded nervous again.
     "This is fine, Travis," I told him, looking away so he couldn't see
me smiling.  "Ready to go in?"  This time I was going to wait for him to
open the door.
     He got out, and before I decided to give up and get out on my own,
he was opening the door for me, and he helped me out.  Lisa had picked
out a rather long skirt, one that had all these buttons going down the
front.  Debbie had made me leave a few at the bottom open, for reasons I
didn't think I would ever understand.  I had made Debbie promise to wear
it later on, for me, though.
     "So when do you go back to New York?" Travis asked.
     "Um, I go back Sunday morning, and I have to do stuff with my dad
tomorrow," so you can forget about seeing me for a long time I didn't
add.
     "Oh, okay."  He sounded sad.  I tried not to laugh.
     "Ready for school Monday?" I asked after I was sure I wasn't going
to lose it.
     "Oh, God," he said.
     "Yeah, really."
     "Did you have a lot of homework too?"
     "Oh, God, tons.  Something about teachers and holidays, I swear."
He nodded as we maneuvered around a car and onto the sidewalk, me first.
I turned back and went on, "A friend of mine, she said that it was
jealousy, because they remember being young and stuff and-"
     About then, my shoe slipped off of something and twisted my ankle
ninety degrees to the side.
     I think I screamed as I slammed into the ground.
     "OhmyGod what happened-"  I wished I could tell him, but it hurt
too much right then to talk.  I knew what it was, too.
     His hands removed my hands from around my ankle, then took off my
shoe and felt firmly around the bones, like the ER doctor had done.  "It
doesn't feel broken," he remarked.  I shook my head in agreement.
"Twisted?" he asked.  I nodded.  "Had it before?"  I nodded again.
"Okay, uh... shit."  He ran his fingers through his hair and looked
around.  "Let's get you inside, okay?"
     "Okay," I gasped, and then I almost screamed again, because he
stuck his hands under me and just lifted me off the ground like I was
little Ricky or something.  "Holy-"  I thought I was going to piss
myself.  I was so scared, I stopped hurting completely for at least ten
seconds.
     "I won't drop you," he told me as we bounced along towards the
front door.  I noticed my arms were wrapped around his neck in a death
grip.  I loosened them a little, though it was an effort, because the
last thing in the world I wanted him to do was pass out while he was
carrying me.  I think I was a couple yards off the ground at least.  And
he'd kill me if he fell on me from this high up.
     He walked up on the porch, and then we were presented with a
problem: the front door.  The pain had subsided some when we stopped,
and I was thinking better, so I told him, "Swing around to your left a
little."  He did, and I managed by sheer force of will to pry one of my
arms off and knock on the door.  I think I grabbed him again before I
finished knocking.
     Eventually, someone answered the door.  "Oh, finally chase down a
date, huh?" he asked.
     "Just get out of the way, Josh, she twisted her ankle."  Josh, I
guess, got out of the way, because Travis twisted sideways and brought
me into the house.  I saw a whole bunch of faces I didn't recognize,
most of them looking at me, before Travis set me down on the couch.
"Stay there, okay?" he told me.  As if I was going anywhere without
help.  "I'm gonna get a cold pack and a wrap, and we'll fix your ankle
up, okay?"  I nodded, feeling a little too sick at my stomach to answer
right then.  I guess the fear had left when he put me down, and now all
I had was the pain in my ankle.
     He got someone to get up and pushed a footstool towards me, so I
lifted my leg, using both hands, and laid it ever so gently on top.  He
asked me, "Will you be okay for a minute?"  I nodded, lying, and he
walked off.
     I closed my eyes for a minute, trying not to scream, so I didn't
see the guy come up.  All I heard was, "Hey, don't hog the seating," and
a few sort of "Wait"s and "Don't"s, and then he shoved my leg over and
off.  It bounced off the floor before I could stop it.
     I think it hurt worse the second time, because I know I screamed
when the world went white for an instant.  I ended up with that knee
bent, and both my hands wrapped around the ankle, and trying to catch my
breath so I could start cursing at the son of a bitch.  Travis got there
first, though.  And he was NOT pleased.

***
21:40 14 Mar

     "I'm really sorry," Travis apologized again.
     "It's not your fault," I told him again.  I was sick of apologies
by this time anyway, since Travis had made the guy beg for forgiveness.
On his knees, with one hand just about to come off at the wrist or the
shoulder.  It was kind of sad, really.  Though when it happened, I would
have cheerfully ripped the guy's leg off and beaten him with it.
     "I just wanted-"
     I was really sick of apologies, so I just put a finger over his
lips and pushed.  He got the hint.  "Look, it was just an accident,
okay?  It's happened before, and I hope it doesn't happen again, but it
wasn't your fault, okay?  It, it's just one of those things."
     "You're sure you're not upset?"
     I was gonna be if he kept up.  "Yes," I said flatly.  "I'm
completely sure, okay?  So drop it."
     He almost, almost said something else, and I almost slapped him for
it, but he took a deep breath, and let it out.  And then he asked, "So
what kind of homework did you get over the break?"
     Anything but talking about my ankle and the surrounding
circumstances was what I wanted at that point.  I took a swig of
whatever he'd gotten me, and began to tell him.  It was gonna take a
while.

***
21:54 14 Mar

     "Want another?" Travis asked, when he noticed I'd finished my
drink.  I didn't know what it was, except fairly alcoholic and cola.
     "Yeah, if you would, please," I asked, and smiled at him like
Debbie would have.  I was feeling a lot better.  I guess the ice and
wrap and Tylenol and booze were all beginning to work.
     "So what else happened?" Mandy asked excitedly.  I was talking
about the last time I was ever going camping in my life.  I had a lot of
excellent reasons, which I was explaining one by one.  They were kind of
funny if it wasn't you that had gone through them last summer.  Dad said
they'd be funny in a few years, which I wasn't too sure of, since I had
permanent scars from a few of the reasons.

***
22:09 14 Mar

     "You're a Boy Scout?" I asked, not believing what I'd just heard.
     "Explains a lot, doesn't it?" remarked Josh, who laughed.
     Travis just made an unpleasant face at Josh.
     I decided Josh was being a jerk, so I turned a little bit to
Travis, and asked him like I was interested, "So what do you do?"
     "You really want to know?"  Gosh, he sounded as suspicious as I
usually felt.
     "Yes, I really want to know or I wouldn't have asked," I told him,
and leaned a little closer.  I'd noticed Debbie and Lisa both did that
to guys when they wanted them to do something, and I knew why it worked,
too.  It worked on Travis as well as it used to work on me.

***
22:18 14 Mar

     "Another?" Travis asked, giving me a look.
     "Three's my limit," I told him, and handed him the empty.  "I
promise!"  I'd have to make this one last for a while longer.  It sure
had helped with the pain, though.

***
22:46 14 Mar

     I was a little surprised to find that the glass was empty, but I
had said only three, so that was going to be it for the night.  I
decided that when I felt the haze wearing off, that I'd make sure I went
home immediately and snag a Valium from Lisa.  Maybe two.
     "What'cha thinkin'?" Travis asked me.
     I focused on the outside world again, and he was looking at me.  I
also noticed that he had an arm around my shoulders.  "Oh, nothing," I
said.
     "Something," he countered.
     "Nothing important."  He was going to say something, so I smiled at
him and rubbed my hand along his chest.  He shut up.  I was beginning to
get the hang of this.  Lisa was right; guys just had no clue.  "So what
were we talking about?"

***
23:06 14 Mar

     "I'm a little cold, that's all," I told him.
     "Well, you want your coat or something?"
     "No, this is perfect."  He was so warm.  I slid my other arm behind
him, and pulled myself a little closer.  God, he was better than a big
dog.  And he didn't slobber either, as far as I could tell.  "Don't be
so nervous, I won't bite!"

***
23:14 14 Mar

     I was watching him talk, and it was fascinating, the way his mouth
moved and his eyes and everything else.  It was like a study in anatomy.
It also gave me something to focus on that wasn't spinning around.
     He eventually noticed me watching him, and he sort of frowned.
"What?"
     "Just watching you," I told him.  He didn't look like he believed
me, so I just closed my eyes and put my head on his chest.  Once
everything stopped spinning, I felt pretty good.

***
23:19 14 Mar

     He was looking at me, and I was looking at him, and I knew he was
going to kiss me a long time before he actually did.
     It was nice, and slow, and started out light, and it was really
really nice.  I was breathing hard when he finished, but I guess the
alcohol was giving me a little of a shield or something, because I
didn't feel quite so lost this time.
     When he stopped, and looked at me, I finally commented, "Nice..."
     "Want another one?" he asked.
     "Sure."  It was the most fun I'd had tonight.
     Kiss number two was even better than kiss number one, I thought.
He slipped me just a little bit of tongue, which I didn't mind enough to
worry about.  I was beginning to regret that I had such a long trip back
to Lisa's house, though.
     When we broke this time, he was breathing heavy, a little bit.  So
was I.  Then I thought how he was sort of warming me up for Debbie, and
he didn't even suspect it, and it was so funny I started to laugh.
     "What?" he complained.
     "Nuh, nothing!" I snorted out.  "AAHHAHAHahahahah!"
     "What's so damn funny?"  Now he sounded pissed, which suddenly made
things not so funny.  I grabbed on to myself mentally, and looked up at
him again.  He looked pissed too, so I just pulled him up close to me.
He held his head out of reach, and he was going to say something useless
like a demand for an explanation, so I licked his neck.  It tasted a
little salty, and different than Debbie, somehow.  He didn't say
anything while I was doing it, though.
     When I had more control of myself, I stopped and looked up at him,
and said, "It just felt so good!"
     "What?"  That had baffled him.
     "I said, kiss me again."
     He looked like he was going to argue or something, so I just slid
my hand up to his head and bent it down towards mine.  When it was in
range, I opened my mouth and pulled his lips against mine.
     He slid an arm down my waist, and it felt really nice, especially
when he ran a hand along my rear end.  Debbie had also discovered that
it was remarkably sensitive when I was aroused.
     We did a little fumbling with arms, then, which ended up with my
arms around his neck, again, and his around both sides of my waist.
     "So?" he asked finally, swallowing first.
     "So kiss me again, already?" I suggested.  He did, and this was the
best of the bunch, because he was rubbing his hands all around my butt,
and kissing me at the same time, and it was just heavenly.  He was a
great kisser, and I really liked having my arms wrapped around his neck,
too, because then I could play little games on him like I did on Debbie.
I ran my fingers through his short hair, which was so different than
hers, and he sort of snorted through his nose when I did it, then he
pulled me closer.
     I wanted him closer too, so I threw my undamaged leg over his, and
got as close as he would let me.  He was really sticking his tongue far
into my mouth now, and his hands were doing all sorts of interesting
things over my rear.  He was really getting into this, I noted, right
before he started moving his leg back and forth between mine.  Due to
the way I was stuffed into my underwear, this was intensely stimulating
right from the start.
     I think I moaned something, and then I tried to press against his
body as tight as I could, because right then I needed to.  He didn't
stop kissing me; instead, he started sliding his lips across mine like
he was looking for the best position, like he had that time he got
drunk, and then I thought about Debbie and me afterwards, in the back
seat of Lisa's car...
     I thought of him warming me up again, and boy was I gonna be hot
for Debbie tonight, and then I thought about what she was doing right
then, and the instant I thought that, I knew, or I thought I did, and
the picture of her and Lisa going at it in that bed did something to me,
because I blew it.
     I convulsively grabbed at him and pulled him and me together as
hard as I could, and threw my head up and out of lip lock, and
especially pressed my legs closed around his, and just came all over
myself.  I just had enough presence of mind not to scream when I did it.
     After it ended, I almost collapsed right in his arms.  When I could
open my eyes again, he was looking at me like he wasn't sure if I was
okay or not.  I wasn't so sure myself.  Then I noticed my skirt was
pushed almost all the way up to my waist, and I felt... wet.  And I was
starting to shake.
     All of a sudden, I needed to get up and get AWAY from him and
everyone else.  I struggled out of his arms and tried to stand up, but
I'd forgotten about my ankle, and I moaned when I bumped it and it
fought back.
     "What's wrong?  Are you-"
     "I need to go to the bathroom," I almost sobbed.  "Now!"

***
23:27 14 Mar

     I'd finally stopped puking.  And crying, mostly.  When I looked in
the mirror, though, I knew I was gonna have some work to do.  I cupped
my hands under the faucet and washed my mouth out with nice cold water,
and got some toilet paper and wiped the smeared black off my face as
best I could.  I really looked like shit, and if Debbie saw me like
this...
     When I thought that, I started to cry again.

***
23:32 14 Mar

     I was as cleaned up as I was going to get without a Brillo pad or
Lysol.  I shuddered, but managed to hobble over to the door of the
bathroom and unlock it.  The guys waiting outside almost ran me over
before I could get out.
     Travis was waiting for me when I made it out of the crowd.  He
looked upset.  *Oh, God...*  "Travis?  I, I think I need to go home now,
please."  I almost started to cry again when I said that, but I managed
to hold it in.
     He didn't even argue.

***
23:39 14 Mar

     "Could I just ask one question?"
     I sniffed, and replied, "Yeah, I guess."  I couldn't even look at
him any more.  This was worse than the time he got drunk.  Worse than
the time I got the shit beat out of me and had to walk home without half
my clothes, with a broken rib, and tell my parents-
     "Was it something I did?"
     So many emotions rolled through me when he asked that, that I was
paralyzed.  I couldn't have answered even if I wanted to.
     Rationally, I could say no, in a way it wasn't what he did.  But it
was, in a way.  But I didn't want to hurt his feelings.  But, damn it, I
didn't want to do this!  And for God's sake, not with HIM of all people.
     After rolling the question around and around and around, so much it
made me sick again, I finally managed to push out, "No, it wasn't you.
I, I just wasn't ready for what happened.  Okay?"
     Pause.
     "Sorry," he said, and I felt a hand on my shoulder.  Before I could
think about it, I flinched, violently.  The hand disappeared.  I stifled
a sob.

***
23:54 14 Mar

     He'd left me in the truck, which was fine with me.  I was gonna
need help to get out and walk inside, and I didn't want him to touch me
right then.
     Someone came around the side, and I was relieved beyond words that
it was Debbie and Lisa.  Lisa opened the door, and Debbie asked, "Val?
You okay?"
     "I twisted my ankle," was all I said, and before I really knew what
was going on, they were helping me out of the truck, and then we were
walking me along the sidewalk, one on each side holding me up.
     "Did Travis do this?" asked Lisa quietly, and I thought I could
hear the menace in her voice.
     "No, I just wasn't looking where I was going and my foot came down
wrong.  It's happened before.  Remember last year, Deb?"  She nodded.
"Same thing.  I just gotta stay off it for a while.  It hurts," I
gasped.
     "You sure?"  I just nodded.  I didn't want to think about what had
really happened.  It would only cause trouble, especially between me and
Deb.  Oh, God...
     "Val?" asked Lisa.
     "It, the ankle, it just hurts, a lot" I panted, trying not to think
about anything else.

***
00:04 15 Mar

     Travis hadn't stuck around.  He was probably off somewhere getting
upset or something at my reaction, but at the moment, I didn't care.
     Lisa had taken charge, getting a coke and a Valium for me after
asking how much I'd drunk and when.  Debbie just helped me onto the bed
and stayed there.  Maybe that was because I was holding on to her like a
life preserver.
     "Are you okay?" she asked when Lisa left to fix an ice pack.  "Did
something happen?"
     I shook my head.  "Not, not really," I lied.  "It just, I mean, it
hurts, and he was sort of around me all night, and I, I don't want to
see him ever again, Deb!  He scared the hell out of me tonight!"
     "What did he DO?" she asked anxiously.
     I grabbed her hands and held on to them.  "Just, you know.  Guys."
The last thing in the world I wanted to do was tell her what really
happened.  I took a deep breath, and fudged some more.  "All I wanted
was to be with you all night, and instead I was with him, and my ankle
hurt, and I had too much to drink, and he kept wanting to kiss me and
stuff, and," and I figured I'd better stop before I said something that
would get everyone in trouble.  So I just reached forward and hugged
her, as hard as I could.  She hugged me back.

***
00:36 15 Mar

     "I think we'd better get you home," Lisa commented after looking at
her watch.
     "Yeah," I attempted a joke, "I'm only allowed to stay out past one
if there's more than four of you."  They both laughed a little at that.

***
00:54 15 Mar

     "I stepped on something wrong and my foot just twisted and took my
ankle with it, Dad."  I was already tired of telling the story.

***
00:57 15 Mar

     "Lisa, I don't really want to see Travis again, okay?" I told her
as Debbie left the room to go take a leak.
     She shook her head.  "This'll be the last time."  She looked close
at me.  "Are you sure you're okay?"
     "I am with you two," I told her truthfully.  She smiled, and held
my hand.

***
01:18 15 Mar

     I fell asleep with the taste of both of them still on my lips, from
the kisses they had given me.

***
06:31 15 Mar

     I almost threw myself out of bed, trying to get away from whatever
it was in the dream that was trying to get me.  I couldn't even remember
what it was, just that I did NOT want to get caught by it.

***
09:34 15 Mar

     I sat up, ejecting out of another nightmare and wondering what the
hell was going on.  *Phone,* I finally decided, so I reached over and
grabbed it.  "'Lo?"
     "Hey," said Mike.  "You up yet?"

***
10:18 15 Mar

     "Oh, wow, what'd you do?"
     "Twisted it."  It felt a little better this morning.  On the other
hand, the hangover felt a lot worse.  I'd been drinking water like a
fish.  I knew it would help eventually.  My dad had been looking at me
funny, but I tried to ignore it.  Since I'd showered, I knew all the
makeup was off.  "Hey, you still got that cane?"

***
11:49 15 Mar

     Mike gave me the weirdest look, and handed me the phone.  "It's the
woman who's got your dick," he announced to the guys.
     The guys laughed.  I groaned softly and yanked the phone away from
his hands.  It wasn't funny this morning.  "Hello?"
     "Tuck?"  It was Debbie.  "Kick Mike for me when you get the
chance."
     "I will.  What's up?"
     "Ellen?" she asked.
     "Is she still okay?" was the first thing out of my mouth.
     I had a moment of panic until she answered, "Yeah, she's fine, she
just needs some help with her homework, and since you and her have the
same English class..."
     "We're having a homework party," I said, relieved.  "Send her over,
and anyone else, anyone that's cool," I qualified, "and we can all get
everything done that we didn't have time to during the week."
     "I might call a few people," she said.  I could hear her smiling,
and part of me relaxed when I heard it.  "I got consults to do today for
a while, though.  What you doing later, about six?"
     "Nothing yet."  I looked over at Mike.  "Mike either."
     "Want me to call Kim?" she giggled.
     "Mmm hmmm," I agreed covertly.
     "We'll see what we can do.  Oooh, I gotta go.  Kisskiss," and she
hung up.
     I handed the phone back to Mike.  "You shouldn'ta made that
comment, Mike," I told him.  "Now Debbie's pissed, she said she wanted
to think of something really good for you."
     The blank look of fear on his face was priceless.

***
12:26 15 Mar

     I couldn't stand Mike looking at Kim like she was suddenly going to
morph into his worst nightmare.  "Hey, Mike, c'mere a minute."
     "Need some more help getting the spelling close enough to English
for the spell checker?" he asked as he got up.
     "Fuck off.  C'mere."  I waved him closer.  "Look," I said quietly,
"I lied about Debbie, she's not pissed off, so she's not going to do
anything, and neither is Kim.  Okay?  You're making her upset."  He
looked back at her, and I remembered what Debbie DID want me to do to
him.  So when he looked back, I kicked him with my good leg.
     "Ow!" he complained.
     "That was what she wanted to do to get back at you.  So it's all
done with, and you can relax, okay?  Go tell Kim you're sorry."
     He sighed heavily, but got up and walked over to Kim and talked
with her some.  They both looked happier.  I felt better.

***
12:37 15 Mar

     George came back in, and a few seconds later, Ellen peeked around
the doorway.  "Hey!" I said among the general hellos, and struggled up.
"How you doing?"
     She nodded, a little bit, and cleared her throat.  "Better, I
guess."
     "Want a hug?"
     She looked me over for a long time, but finally nodded again.  I
slipped the cane against the wall, and gave her a long, gentle hug.
"Come on over," I told her when we let go.  "We got cokes, and I got my
paper half written.  Did you get the sheet on it or anything?"

***
14:09 15 Mar

     "Look," Ellen said to me finally, "you don't have to be so nice,
okay?  I just, I mean, I'm not..."
     "Ellen, hey, I care about you, okay?  I'm sorry we didn't work out,
but,"  I shrugged.  "No big deal.  But I still like you, you know, I
always did."  I looked down, and thought about something for a minute,
then looked back up.  "It's hard, I know.  A lot of my female friends
went through what you went through, okay?  But I'm not just trying to be
'nice' to you to make it up or something dumb.  I really do care about
you."
     She looked skeptical, but she didn't argue with me.  *These things
take time,* I reminded myself.

***
15:45 15 Mar

     "Tuck!" Mike barked.  "Now it's Lisa!"
     "Oh, boy, what now?" I wondered to myself as I got up and took the
phone away from Mike.  "Hello?"
     "Val?"  I tried not to sigh audibly.  What she said next, though,
almost stopped me breathing.  "Listen, we have to talk about last
night's party, okay?  Are you gonna be at Mike's for a while?"
     "Erk, uh, yeah, I-"
     "Okay, I'll see you in half an hour, okay?"  She hung up.
     I felt my heart clinch up, and tried to breathe.

***
16:21 15 Mar

     "Grand Central Station," I heard George announce at the door.  Lisa
came in a few seconds later.  *Oh, hell.*  She looked extremely serious.
     "Ellen, I gotta go talk to Lisa, okay?  I'll be back in a while.  I
hope."  I pushed myself up and grabbed the cane.

***
16:23 15 Mar

     She'd said she wanted to talk in her car where it was safer.
     "Listen," she said when we'd both shut the doors, "I talked to
Mandy, she was at the party you were at last night."
     And Mandy had been there when I got there and been there when I
left.  And, almost certainly, been there the whole time.  Oh, shit.  I
felt fear shake my whole body.

***
16:35 15 Mar

     "Lisa..."  I sighed, staring at my hands.  "The last thing I want
is anything to do with him any more.  I swear on my life."  I looked up
at her.  "I, I dunno, but Debbie, and you..."  She waited for me to
continue.  "I just don't want to be without Debbie, and I'd rather rip
off my flesh than hurt her.  It, it just happened, okay?"  I wiped some
of the eye leakage away.  "I wish it hadn't."

***
16:41 15 Mar

     Lisa sighed, and pushed back in the car seat.  "I can't really
think of anything else to do, Tuck," she confessed, staring at the roof
liner.
     "Me neither," I added, wiping my face.  Someday I wouldn't cry when
I got upset.  I hoped.
     Pause.
     "Look, okay," she said, sitting back up and looking at me.  "I like
you too, but...  But, I already had to put her back together once, the
last time it happened.  I don't want to have to do it again.  She's
fragile enough as it is."
     I was slowly beginning to suspect she was right about Debbie's
fragility.  The glass hand inside the steel glove, as it were.
     Slowly, I said, "Well, look.  I did my part to pay back that favor
he did, so... so I don't really have to see him again, right?  So no
problem."
     "What about Jack?" she asked.
     I shook my head.  "Jack isn't interested in me, really.  Debbie,
now..."  I smiled, a little.  "He might go for Debbie, but not me."
     "You sure?"
     I nodded.  "I'm positive."

***
16:48 15 Mar

     "I guess I'd better get going before Debbie gets here.  Besides, I
have yet another party to cater tonight."  She made a face.  "It's
enough to drive you anorexic, cooking all the time.  Ugh."
     "I believe you.  Anyway, take care of yourself, okay?"  She nodded,
and I offered her a hug.  She took me up on it.
     "You need some help in?" she asked me eventually.
     "I think I got it," I replied, pointing at the cane.
Demonstrating, I swung the door open and carefully got out, using the
cane for balance.  When I thought I had it, I shut the door and waved at
her.  She started the car, waved, and backed out of the driveway.

***
16:50 15 Mar

     "Jeez, what did you do to piss HER off?" Kim asked as I came back
in.
     "You don't wanna know, and I'm not gonna tell you, either."

***
17:09 15 Mar

     "How's the paper coming?" I asked Ellen as she paused typing on my
dad's laptop.
     She sighed, and turned around and looked at me.  "Okay, I guess."
She shrugged.  "It seems kind of pointless."
     I shrugged back.  "It's sort of preparation for the real world, I
guess.  Doing futile things for reasons you don't understand so you can
keep your job."  I made a face.  "That's why my dad went into business
for himself.  At least he can make his parts of the job make sense."
     "What's he do?" she asked, taking the conversational hook.
     "Runs Freehold Associates, which is an Internet service provider.
And when he feels like it, he does computer consulting.  He put in a lot
of the McAllen computer labs."
     "Stop bragging, Tuck!" George complained.  "We've all heard it-"
     "Ellen hasn't!" I shot over my shoulder.  Turning back, I added,
"And even he has to do stupid stuff for clients, like write papers."  I
shrugged.  "I hate 'em too."
     She shrugged back, like she could just barely manage to care.
     "So what's yours on?" I tried again.

***
17:21 15 Mar

     Me and Kim and Ellen were talking, at least a little, about English
papers, when George waved me over.  "What?"
     "Hey, what did you do in this problem?"
     I sighed, and got up.  "Which problem, George?  Think you could be
a little less specific or something?"

***
18:04 15 Mar

     I was having some excitement arguing with George and Mike about
math when the doorbell rang again.  "Jeezus," complained George as he
got up to answer it.
     "Debbie?" asked Mike.  I nodded.  "You sure she's not pissed?"
     "Pretty sure, Mike."
     Debbie came in, and smiled when she saw me.  I guess Lisa had
decided to keep quiet about last night, like we'd agreed.  "Hey," she
said, waving.
     "Hey!  Come over here and argue about math or something," I
suggested.
     "Don't think so," she countered, and walked over to where Ellen and
Kim were still talking about English, I think.  I felt kind of hurt.
And more than a little scared.

***
18:17 15 Mar

     Hands came up under my arms, startling me so bad I said something
in a foreign language I didn't speak.
     "Did you mention something about dinner?" Debbie whispered into my
ear.
     When I could talk in English again, I said, "I don't think so, but
you could ask around, you know?"

***
18:48 15 Mar

     "Table for seven?" Debbie asked.
     I was holding on to Debbie, partially so I could walk, but mostly
because I didn't want to let go.  If that makes any sense.

***
19:05 15 Mar

     A plate of assorted appetizers arrived.  "Oh, boy," Debbie
mentioned.  "I am just completely starving."
     "Me too," agreed Mike, digging in.
     "You're always hungry, you don't count," Dan mentioned.

***
19:11 15 Mar

     "Ooweeeeooooweeeeeooo," we sang, and Debbie and I started swaying
back and forth.  I nudged Ellen until she started doing it too.

***
20:14 15 Mar

     After we had the bill and tip settled, and left, Debbie hung back a
little.  "So," she asked me, "what do you want to do the rest of the
evening?"
     "Be with you," I told her.
     She smiled.  "Wanna go out?"

***
20:54 15 Mar

     "Two, please," Debbie told the ticket guy.  She turned to me and
asked, "How many do you want to pay for?"
     "Huh?"
     "You still haven't gotten paid for this week..."
     I thought as long as necessary, which was about a tenth of a
second, if that long, before I said, "Both."  I'm not dumb.

***
23:16 15 Mar

     "Not bad," she mused to herself as we left the theater.
     "So what next?" I asked her.
     "You tell me," she challenged.
     "Ahhhhh.... ice cream?"
     "I like it!"
     "Oh, good," I told her, and kissed her on the cheek.  She kissed me
back, and it was a few minutes before we thought about ice cream again.

***
23:29 15 Mar

     "So anyway," she started before she took a lick of her cone.
     "I dunno," I sighed, staring at my chocolate dip.  "It... I mean,"
I sighed again, "he's just too intense to deal with, I guess."
     "Some guys are like that," she observed.
     "Am I?"  I wanted to know.
     She stared at the ceiling, thinking.  "Sometimes.  Not much.
You're pretty relaxed, once you got over your nervousness."
     "When did I do that?"
     "Sometime about Christmas," she replied, and grinned.

***
00:17 16 Mar

     Once we got to my house, Debbie had wanted a back rub all the way,
so we were on the floor of the living room watching TV, while she lay
there and I rubbed energetically.
     Brian wandered out, I guess to see what all the moaning was about,
and froze when he saw us.  About two seconds later, he ran into Dad's
office.  "Dad!" I heard him whine, "They're having sex in the living
room!"
     I wondered what he was on.  I mean, yeah, Debbie had her blouse and
bra off, but the rest of us was covered up.
     Debbie moaned, "Oh, God, don't stop," so I started rubbing again.
She seemed really tense, judging by the knots in her muscles.  I guess
she hadn't heard Brian.
     Dad came out of his hole and just looked at us.  I smiled at him,
but kept rubbing.  Dad just watched for a minute, then rolled his eyes
at me and went back in his office.  Brian came storming out a minute
later, looking really upset about something.  Probably something like we
weren't getting punished.  Aww.  I felt really bad for him not.
     Debbie wiggled her butt, which I was sitting on, and told me, "Do
some more lower down," so I did.  My arms were getting a little tired,
but it was worth it to hear the little moaning noises she kept making.

***
00:34 16 Mar

     "Feel better?"
     Debbie just mumbled something and scooted a little closer.  I
readjusted my arm around her shoulder and made sure she was tucked under
the quilt on the other side.

***
00:49 16 Mar

     I was about to drift off to peaceful sleep myself, when she stirred
against me, and sighed.  "What's up?" I asked.
     She sighed heavily.  "I gotta go home," she told me sadly.
"Curfew."
     We held each other tight for a long time before she moved again.
"I really do gotta go so I won't get grounded."
     "I know."
     I helped her up, and got her blouse back on, and her coat, and
walked her to the door.  Well, we sort of limped there together.  She
turned around, and gave me a long kiss. "See you later?"
     "Yeah... hey, wanna do breakfast tomorrow?"
     "Yeah, I'd like that," she replied.  And smiled, and kissed me
again, and gave me a long hug.

***
04:29 16 Mar

     "Ahhh," I gasped, staring around my dark room and trying to catch
my breath.  "Shit, shit, shit, shit..."  I was sweating and shaking and
cold and I didn't even want to remember the dream I'd just had.

***
09:13 16 Mar

     I was half expecting the call when the phone flashed.  Anything was
gonna be better than the nightmares I was having.  "Hello?"
     "Hey, Val, you wanna go to breakfast?" Kim asked.
     "Yeah... uh, I invited Debbie along, is that okay?"
     "Oh, yeah, sure.  Ten?"
     "Yeah.  I'll call Debbie, okay?"
     "Sure thing!  See ya then, kiddo," she laughed, and hung up.

***
09:31 16 Mar

     "Oh, God."  I was shaking at the thought of wearing girl's clothes
again.  Finally, I decided that a, I'd better so everything would look
normal, and b, that some of the Valiums Lisa had sent home with me would
be a good idea.

***
09:54 16 Mar

     "Hey," I greeted Debbie as I opened the door.  She just walked up
and gave me a long hug and a small kiss like she had last night.  Then
she giggled.
     "I can feel those breasts," she whispered into my ear.  Then she
reached up a hand and tweaked one.
     "Hey!  That hurts more than you'd think, Deb."
     Her frown told me she wanted to talk about it, but Kim knocked on
the door just then.

***
10:28 16 Mar

     "I think it's the last time I go out with him," I told the girls at
the table.  "I think he's getting a little too... comfortable."
     "Wouldn't leave you alone?" Jill didn't really ask.  I nodded.
     "Men," commented Debbie, rolling her eyes.
     "They're all pigs," stated Kim, who kicked me lightly in the leg to
show me it was a joke.
     "Tell me about it!" gushed Dan the waiter, who had appeared out of
nowhere.  I jumped a little.  "Now, what would you ladies like for
breakfast this morning?"
     Well, that settled the question of whether he was gay or not.

***
12:04 16 Mar

     "Come on, Jill!" Debbie pleaded.  "Tell you what, if you play,
we'll sing.  All of us."
     "Her too?" Jill asked skeptically, pointing at me.
     I sighed and nodded, before Debbie had a chance to kick me into
agreement.  "Come on, Jill, you play better than you think."
     She sighed at me like I was completely clueless, but raised the
harmonica to her lips and began a shortened intro to "Enter Sandman."
     "Say your prayers, little one," I began, and almost faltered as I
noticed the other two weren't singing.  Jill rolled her eyes at me, but
didn't stop playing.  So I didn't stop singing.  "Don't forget, my son,
to include everyone."
     "I tuck you in
      Warm within
      Keep you free from sin
      'Til the Sandman he comes,"
     Jill shifted for the chorus, and the girls finally chimed in.
     "Sleep with one eye open,
      Gripping your pillow tight.
      Exit light,
      Enter night.
      Take my hand
      We're off to Never-neverland."
     Jill added a flourish, and Debbie and Kim both slapped me on the
shoulders.

***
12:08 16 Mar

     "So that's what your singing voice sounds like," Kim said when we
finished.  I shrugged, embarrassed.  "No, no, it's as good as mine," she
assured me.  Since she had been in chorus, I guess it was a good thing.
"You just never had any training."
     "Oh, well, excuse me!" I complained.  Kim gave me a raspberry.
     "It's a good voice," Jill agreed.  "You just need some practice,
and some confidence."
     "Oh, and who's scared to play in front of other people?" I pointed
out.
     "Girls, girls," Debbie chided.  "You both need some practice to
build your confidence up."
     Jill and I looked at each other.  I think we were thinking the same
thing: Oh God, what's she got planned now?
     "No!" we both shouted at the same time.  "No way, whatever it is,
no, hell no, never, uh uh, forget it..."

***
12:33 16 Mar

     "Oh, no, not again," I moaned as Kim pulled into the parking lot as
Westcross.
     "Why, what's wrong with here?" Jill asked.
     Now that I thought about it, nobody had told her about Friday.

***
12:41 16 Mar

     Jill was still laughing to herself as we walked in the door.
     "Would you stop already?" I complained.  "You're making me
nervous."  More nervous, actually.
     Jill looked up at me, and froze, and then burst out in fresh
laughter.

***
12:44 16 Mar

     "Just a pair of shoes, I swear!" complained Debbie.  "Jesus!"
     "And a dress for Jill," I added.
     Jill, not unexpectedly, whacked me across the shoulder blades.

***
12:51 16 Mar

     "You ought to get another pair," Debbie mentioned.
     "Why?"  It seemed a reasonable question to me.
     "Because you need another pair," Debbie told me.
     "Why?"

***
12:54 16 Mar

     I'd heard stories about guys telling their girlfriends what to do,
and the girlfriends doing it, but I was beginning to think they were all
stories, and that I was only one of many running around with a virtual
ring in my nose.  On the other hand, I'd bet that most of them didn't
wear their girlfriend's clothes.
     On the gripping hand, I bet most guys hadn't spent the night with
their girlfriends and then cooked breakfast for their mom, either.
     "Do they fit?" asked the sales guy.  I wiggled my toes, and they
seemed to fit, so I nodded.  "Try walking around in them a little."
     I got up and gently limped around, and everything was okay until I
remembered the lore that all women's shoe salesmen are foot fetishists.
That almost tripped me.

***
13:04 16 Mar

     "I just figured it out," I mentioned to Debbie as she paid for our
shoes, keeping careful track I had no doubt of how much of my earnings
to deduct.  "This is all some kind of plot, to tie me to you with
economic chains too tight to get out of without completely destroying my
life."
     Debbie just looked at me like I was completely insane, but Kim made
a face, and groaned, "Oh, hell, she figured it out."
     Jill mentioned, "We'll have to kill her now," in this eerily
emotionless voice that you would expect out of someone who was about to
kill the person that just discovered the plot.  She looked it too.
     "Would you two stop it?" complained Debbie.

***
13:36 16 Mar

     "Hey, do I get a chance to change before the game?" I complained.
     Kim scratched while she thought about it.  "It's gonna be kind of
tight.  Can't you just go in like you came out of your house or
something?"
     "Ahhhh, I don't think that's a good idea, Kim."

***
14:02 16 Mar

     Mike looked up as we came in, then he gave me another, harder look.
"Tuck?" he asked suspiciously.
     "They made me do it," was my instant response.  "Can I use your
bathroom?"
     "Please."  He glared at Debbie and Kim.
     At least I had guy clothes to change into.  Although I was already
wearing 'em, in one sense.
     "Delay of game!" complained George.
     "George, shut up," Mike told him.

***
14:04 16 Mar

     Another Valium down the hatch.  I was just about normal on these
things.
     *And Lisa takes these all the time?*  In some ways, it was nice
knowing Lisa; it put a perspective on my own problems.

***
14:05 16 Mar

     "I'm gonna do some homework, okay?" Debbie told me.  "Mike said I
could use his room."
     "Sure, Deb."  She smiled at me, and touched my face, and I almost
cried.  Instead, though, I just grabbed her and hugged her until the
urge went away.

***
18:06 16 Mar

     Mike dinged the play bell.  "Game's over for this week," he
announced.  "Tuesday?"
     There was a chorus of groans as we all realized, deep in our
hearts, that we would be back in school tomorrow.
     On the other hand, given the way this week had gone up and down,
school might be something of a rest.  From my vacation.

***
18:14 16 Mar

     "Supper?"
     "I already called, I hope you don't mind," Debbie told me.
     "She said I could come too," Kim added.  And she had a Debbie grin
on her face, which was almost instantly matched by Debbie.
     "Oh, God," I mentioned.
     "But think of what Brian will think," Kim pointed out.
     "Oh, God.  Heheheheheh...."

***
18:29 16 Mar

     "Hi, Mom, sorry we're a little late.  This is Kim, Kim this is Mom,
and you remember Dad, and that's Brian."
     The look on Brian's face was everything I could have hoped for.
     Kim squeezed one of my hands, Debbie squeezed the other, and all
three of us smiled before we arranged ourselves around the table.

***
20:04 16 Mar

     "I guess we'd better be getting home," Kim sighed, and glanced at
Debbie.
     Debbie sighed, as did I, and nodded.

***
20:06 16 Mar

     "See you tomorrow," Debbie said, and hugged me and gave me a little
kiss.
     Kim gave Debbie a funny look, then grabbed me and kissed me like
she was going to fling my clothes off and do me right on the floor.
     Debbie scoffed, then put her hands on her hips and waited for Kim
to finish.  When Kim let go, I barely had time to take a breath before
Debbie grabbed me and gave me the same treatment.  Worse, even, as she
knew about my rear end.  Or maybe Kim knew but didn't want to rub it in
front of Debbie.  I had no idea, especially when I was being kissed out
of my mind.
     "Now THAT'S a proper goodbye," Kim told Debbie when she let go.
     "Dah," I mentioned.
     "See you tomorrow, lover boy," Debbie cooed in this sultry tone.
Kim winked and swung her womanly hips at me as she opened the door.
They both waggled deliberately as they sashayed out.
     The fact that I found this immensely appealing made me feel better.

***
20:09 16 Mar

     "Which one are you dating again?" asked Dad.
     "Dad!"
     Brian interrupted, "Neither, he's paying 'em to be that nice."
     "Brian!" me and Dad both yelled at him.  I let Dad take over, as I
didn't have the range of punishments available that he did.  All I could
really do was either beat up on him, or tell Debbie, and I really didn't
want the family shame of what one of Debbie's punishments would have
brought upon me.

***
22:04 16 Mar

     One more Valium, and maybe I could sleep tonight.

***
02:14 16 Mar

     "Oh, please God, make the nightmares go away," I mumbled as I tried
to wash the taste of bad dreams out of my mouth.

***


"Say, is that a rabbit in your cleavage, or are you just happy to see
me?" - ehayes


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"Tallyho!"      \   /     @>--,--'--  ehayes@nym.alias.net  + vicki .sig
Ellen Hayes --=(*)=(*)=-- Renaissance Woman    ==[--------  + virus 9.1a
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