-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----

Tuck Soup

***
09:12 19 Jan

     There was a bright flash.  I knew that meant something...
     There was another.  *Phone!* I thought dimly, and sat up quick to
get it.  There it was... I reached over someone and picked it up, but
when I held it up to my ear, all I got was a dial tone.  "Damn," I said,
and fell back down on the bed and fell back asleep instantly.

***
09:21 19 Jan

     There was a noise.  It should mean something, but maybe it would go
away.
     Something slapped me, painfully, on the chest.  "Ow!" I complained,
sitting up and getting ready to suicidally attempt to beat the hell out
of my sister.  But I wasn't in my bed, and it wasn't my sister looking so
surprised in front of me.  I tried to think, and realized that my chest
hurt, and I was going to rub it, but when I put my hand there...
     "AHHH!" I shrieked as I encountered two warm, fleshy breasts on my
own chest.  Under lace, no less.  And a camera flash.
     I booted up in about a fifth of a second.  One very painful fifth
of a second.
     "Oh, God."  I flopped back down on the bed.  "Oh, God, don't do
that, Debbie!" I panted, completely and totally awake.

***
09:25 19 Jan

     "Hey, Jill, can Valerie use the toilet?" Debbie called into the
bathroom.
     "Uh, yeah, sure," came the distracted reply over the noise of the
shower.  Debbie gave me a push, and I went in.  As I was pulling things
down and up and so forth, Jill warned, "Don't peek."
     "I won't if you won't," I said back, and let go into the bowl.
*Ahhhhhh...*  I had more to lose than she did by peeking, I think.

***
09:33 19 Jan

     "Oh, GOD, Jill!  You should have SEEN the expression on her face!"
     "But you got a picture, right?"
     Kathy laughed and laughed.  "Oh, God, DID I!  It was PERFECT!"
     I was doomed.  No, I was completely enslaved and at the mercy of
whoever held the negatives.
     I wiped blonde hair out of my face, put a bra strap back on my
shoulder, and went to go brush the taste of dead rodent out of my mouth.
First things first.  Begging for my life would be easier if I didn't
choke anyone with morning breath.
     My life had been simple once...

***
09:35 19 Jan

     Someone came in behind me as I was brushing my teeth.  "Hnnng,"
they grunted.
     "Gnnngh," I said back.  Whoever it was dropped all their clothes
off, got in the shower, and turned the water on.

***
09:37 19 Jan

     "If we were gonna blackmail you, hon, we'd have done it already."
Debbie patted me on the shoulder, then ruffled the lace strap.
     "It's just for the record," Kathy added.  "Besides, you might want
to remember some of this someday."  She rubbed my other shoulder.  "So
don't worry."
     As if.

***
09:43 19 Jan

     "Finally," I said, as Kim stepped out of the bathroom, wearing what
I hoped wasn't the last towel and carrying her other stuff.  "My turn."

***
09:46 19 Jan

     *I cannot believe this is happening,* I thought to myself as I
slowly steamed in the hot water.  *I can't believe I'm doing this.*

***
09:51 19 Jan

     I slowly got back in "my" clothes for the trip back to the party
room.  Ugh.  I could have dressed in there like they were doing, but for
some reason I felt shy about it this morning.  Maybe it had something to
do with the fact that I had to switch out underwear and bra, as they
were beginning to get ripe.  And rubbing my crotch felt sooooo good
after it had been locked in a G-string for a couple of days.
     At least I'd gotten smart and rinsed the thing out.  It was truly
raunch down there.

***
09:52 19 Jan

     "Well, now that you're back," Jill said, and they pulled me over to
the couch and sat me down.
     "Have you ever tried doing your own makeup?" Pam asked.
     "Uh, noooo...."  I knew where this was going, and no sir, I didn't
like it.

***
09:54 19 Jan

     On the other hand, being surrounded by half-naked girls again had
its compensations.  Even if they were bitching at me about not twitching
my eyelids.

***
10:07 19 Jan

     "Good enough?" I asked, having finished the only part I'd done a
lot of before.  Anyone can do lipstick.
     Pam looked at me, and sighed, and turned my head around so she
could see it in different light.  "Yeah... not as good as yesterday, but
it'll do."  Debbie agreed.
     Something caught my eye in the mirror, and I watched as, no lie,
Jill pulled an entire _toaster_ out of her bag.  She asked, "Where's the
plug?" 

***
10:16 19 Jan

     Pop tarts and toast and jelly were not a bad way to start the day.
Being told you were going to be in girl's clothes for the third day in a
row wasn't so good.  Having half a dozen girls arguing over what to wear
was simply bad.  Having a half dozen girls arguing over what girl's
clothes you were going to wear for the third day in a row...

***
10:18 19 Jan

     "Val?" Kathy asked.
     "Whazzat?"
     "Why did you pick up the phone when, when you woke up the first
time this morning?"
     "What?"  Things weren't real clear yet.
     Jill nudged her, grinning, and Kathy sighed.  "We took a couple
pictures of you four in bed, and you sat up and picked up the phone.
Were you dreaming?"
     "No, I thought the phone was ringing."  *Were those Poptarts done
yet?  No.*  When I looked back, they were giving me one of those looks.
I explained, "I hooked my phone ringer up to a strobe light so I could
hear it when I had my headphones on, so it doesn't ring any more, it
just flashes."  I shrugged.  "I can't hear _anything_ with my 'phones on
and the volume cranked up.  So when something flashes like that, it's
gotta be my phone.  If it'd been red, then that would be the doorbell to
my room."
     They all looked at me like I'd suddenly lapsed into Chinese.
Except Debbie - she just sighed, and shook her head.  She knew all this
already, 'cause I'd explained everything to her the first time I'd
showed her the Ratcave.  It's from the Harry Harrison books, sort of.
Come to think of it, Slippery Jim DiGriz had been dressed as a girl
once...
     "You really _are_ a geek," Sabrina said softly.  That's what Debbie
had said, too.
     "Well, duh!  Didn't you figure that out yet?"

***
10:21 19 Jan

     Debbie, of course, had to do some consults this morning, so she was
going to take off.  Luckily, she'd brought up my original clothes (which
is where the toothbrush came from - I'd gotten smarter and started
packing for these trips) the night before.  As well as my school pack
and my gym bag.
     "So, call me tonight?" I asked.
     "Sure, 'will.  Kisskiss."  She kissed me on the cheek, and ran for
the door, stealing a Poptart from Kim on the way out.
     I sighed, with longing and loss and other things I didn't know and
didn't like, and plopped down on the couch.  I missed her already.  Bad.
     "Well, what now?" Jill asked.
     I shook my head.  "I've got no idea..."
     "Well, why don't you change, and then maybe we can head out and do
something.  I don't want to go home just yet."
     I sighed again.  I'd been gone since Friday morning - my folks were
gonna kill me.  "I don't want to go home either."
     I must've looked seriously depressed, because Kim gave me her other
Poptart, and went to fix a couple more.  It was nice to have friends.
     Even if they did like me better in girl's clothes.  But what the
hell, I was already in 'em, a few more hours wouldn't hurt.

***
10:28 19 Jan

     What they'd finally decided on, with me helping, was a denim
jumper, and a long sleeve oxford shirt.  In pink.  I mean, the shirt was
pink - the idea of pink denim is just disgusting.  They had some funky
stockings, or socks, which got added to the mix, and my shoes and
Debbie's summer skirt-n-slip and nine separate pieces of jewelry rounded
things out.  I counted.  The lace-covered claws in my faux hairdo added
just the right touch of whatever.
     At least it had pockets.
     Jill was wearing jeans, and Debbie's kind of boots, soft and knee
high and no relation to riding horses at all, along with a black shirt
and a denim vest that had about a hundred pins, buttons, tags, labels,
logos, and patches on it.  She didn't have enough hair to style, so she
combed it.
     Kim was wearing your classic sweater (blue) and long skirt (denim)
combo, and shoes like mine, and had done something with her hair that
looked like a romance-novel-cover hairdo.  Don't get me wrong, it looked
kind of cool.
     I remembered all this because, first, Kathy kept up a running
commentary as we got dressed, like it was a fashion show, and second,
they took pictures of all three of us when we got done.  They said it
had something to do with Kim dressing nice for a change.  Kim said rude
words to that.  I would have said rude words about more pictures, but in
this one at least I was fully clothed.  And conscious.
     We had some more toast when we got done, with dire words in my
direction if I got jam on any of the clothes.  I sighed, and said back,
"Yesss, Motherrrrrr."
     I shouldn't have, because Kathy came over and wiped something off
my mouth like moms do to little kids.  And Kim took a picture of that,
too.

***
10:39 19 Jan

     Jill and Kim and I had decided to go do something together.
Sabrina and Kathy had homework to do, and Pam had to go to church.  So
the weirdest party of my life was breaking up.
     We all said long goodbyes, which was kind of weird because I knew
they were going to be calling each other in a couple of hours, and
seeing each other at school tomorrow.  But I could sort of understand it
too - the magic was leaving.
     I got hugs and little kisses from everyone, and gave them myself,
and finally found myself in the back seat of Kim's mom's car, waving out
the back window.

***
10:40 19 Jan

     "So what now?" Kim asked.
     "I could go for a little more breakfast," Jill said.
     "Where?"
     She thought for a moment.  "I know this coffeeshop..."
     "They have food?" I asked from the back.
     "Yeah," Jill answered.  "Pastries, small sandwiches, stuff like
that.  Sound good?"
     "Sounds good," Kim said.
     "Me too," I added in.

***
10:48 19 Jan

     "What I like about you," we all sang as we bounced in the car.
     "You keep me warm at night
     Never wanna let you go
     Know you make me feel alright
     Keep on whispering in my ear
     Tell me all the things that I want to hear
     'Cause it's true
     That's what I like about you
     That's what I like about you..."

***
10:56 19 Jan

     Kim asked, "Jill?"
     "Yah," she said as she led us in through the front door.
     "What is this place?"
     She turned back and flashed a grin.  "It's a great place to go if
you've been partying all night and want someplace to go to wrap things
up, or get started with Sunday morning."
     I think Kim was looking at the same two guys sucking each other's
face that I was looking at.  I would have said something, but for one
thing, I was a little tired of being freaked out by now.  And second, I
was a little too freaked to talk.  At least I wasn't the only one.

***
10:58 19 Jan

     "It's just a place, alright?" Jill tried to calm us down.  "Just a
place to hang out.  And you get to see some freaky people some mornings.
And they have _great_ croissants."
     Kim didn't look too convinced, but she didn't object when some guy
came up and asked us how many in our party.  Jill said three, and he led
us to a booth, gave us menus, and took off.  Kim sat next to me, and
squeezed my hand as she slid in.

***
11:02 19 Jan

     "Anyway, so, what's been up with this not dating thing you're
doing, Kim?" Jill asked.
     Kim sighed.  "It's just, I dunno.  After Tim, I am just sick of the
whole thing for a while, you know?"  We all nodded.
     "What'd he do?"
     "Oh...." she flipped the menu over.  "He was just..."  She sat and
stared for a minute.  Finally, she griped, "I have no _fucking_ idea!  I
just don't want to deal with another guy within ten feet of me for at
least a month."  She growled.  "How can they be so stupid?"
     "Hormones?" I suggested.
     Jill shook her head, grinning.  "May be," Kim said thoughtfully.
"I just don't understand how he could be such a prick."
     "That'd be the hormones," I said without thinking.

***
11:05 19 Jan

     "I heard your croissants are good," Kim told the waiter.
     "Oh, yes, they are _great_ this morning!" he gushed.
     "Um," she took a deep breath.  "I'd like two plain."
     "Anything to drink?"
     "Uh.... just regular coffee, I think."
     He scribbled on his pad.  "Okayyyy.... anything for you, hon?" he
asked me.
     "Uh, just two wheat croissants, and, uh," I checked my purse.
"Water."
     "Okay, we'll have 'em right to ya!" he assured us, and took off.
     "This place is strange," Kim stated.
     "But kinda cool," Jill protested.

***
11:09 19 Jan

     "So, he said-"  Kim was interrupted by our waiter, who slid three
plates under our faces, and put three drinks down plop-plop-plop.
     "Anything else?"  We all shook our heads, so he said, "Well, if you
change your minds, or you'd like seconds, just ask, my name's Dan."  He
trotted off, except I would've sworn for a second that he was swishing.
     Kim took a bite of croissant, and smiled in surprise.  I took a
bite of mine, and it was that good.
     "So anyway, what he said was," she restarted.

***
11:12 19 Jan

     "I dunno why I bother any more," she despaired.
     "Oh, come on, Kim, they're not _all_ bad," I put in.
     "Some of 'em are okay," Jill agreed grudgingly.  "You just gotta
stop dating the real assholes, because, because..."
     "Because they're real assholes." I finished, and Jill nodded.
     "I know," she breathed, twisting her head around while holding it
up with her hand.  "It's just, I mean, I thought he was like, different,
you know?  He _used_ to like my poetry, or he _said_ he did, the
asshole."  I didn't know she wrote poetry.

***
11:14 19 Jan

     "Well, he was so _jealous_!  I mean, when I said I wanted to go
hang out with you guys a couple of weekends ago, he almost went postal!
I mean, it's not like I was _going_ anywhere, just spending some time
with my friends, you know?  He does that all the time, but he won't let
me do it?  Is that fair?"  Jill and I both shook our heads.  "But he was
complaining I don't spend enough time with him, but you know, I like
doing stuff besides watching TV or going to movies I don't wanna see,
and I like seeing _my_ friends once in a while, so we can hang out and I
can catch up on them and stuff, but when I said I wanted to not go out
Saturday night so I could stay with some friends, he about had a cow,
right in front of me.  He even called me a lesbian, said I was too
chickenshit to handle a guy which is why I hung out with 'all my little
dyke buddies'..."  Jill was beginning to steam.  I cleverly didn't say
much of anything, having enjoyed enough parts of my life I didn't want
it to end.
     Kim rubbed her forehead.  "So, I told him if he was that scared
about competition from a few of my friends, that maybe he wasn't enough
of a man to handle me, and he should start hanging around Dodson," which
was the grade school closest to our high school, "to pick up a new
girlfriend, 'cause if he was gonna be that much of a jerk about _me_
spending time with _my_ friends, then he was gonna be single for a long
time, and he could go to hell, too!"
     Jill snarled, "Hellyeah!"
     After a second, I chipped in with, "Sounds great to me."  Kind of
lame, but I was kind of taken by surprise.
     Kim sat there, rubbing her forehead.  Eventually, Jill just reached
out and picked up Kim's hand and held it.  I carefully slipped an arm
around her and hugged her.
     "I mean, was I wrong?" she asked us sort of desperately.
     I could see Jill badly wanted to answer this question, so I let her
rock-n-roll all over it.

***
11:22 19 Jan

     "Well, I mean, he's okay, it's just sort of a casual thing, which
is kinda how I like it."  Jill seemed strangely embarrassed.  "I mean,
he's working all the time, and I have that part-time job too, so it's
like we don't see each other that much, and when we do, it's like,
nothing really serious, but you know, it's, we, I dunno, it's kinda like
this, you know?  Just hanging out."  She shrugged at us.
     "What's wrong with that?" I asked.
     "Nothing!  Nothing, I mean, it's fun and all..." she thought for a
while.  "Guess the spark is missing."
     "Well, I _thought_ I had the spark with Mister Fuckhead Tim, but
you can see how _that_ turned out."  Not that Kim was bitter or
anything.  Haha.

***
11:25 19 Jan

     "Well, what do you think?" Kim asked me.
     "Um."  I'd been through enough breakups to have some opinion - it
was just usually I dealt with the other side of things.  "If you want to
take some time off, I'd do it.  If you get involved with someone, the
way you feel now, you're gonna screw things up _really_ bad."  That I
knew from personal experience.  Never date someone who just broke out of
a long-term relationship.  "Just hang out with your friends, and don't
worry about it for a while."
     "Yeah, I guess..."  She sounded uncertain.
     "No, she's right," Jill said unexpectedly.  "If you're-"
     "You're just saying that so I'll hang with you," Kim giggled.  Jill
and I both protested.  "No, I know, you're not."
     "Really," Jill said, "just don't worry about a relationship for a
while.  Take a couple of weeks, write some more poetry, catch up on your
homework, whatever."
     "Learn to sing the blues," I added.  "Then we could form a band or
something."
     "So how's the playing going?" Kim asked me.
     Jill asked, "Playing?"
     "Yeah," Kim said to Jill, "she got this mondo synthesizer for
Christmas, and she's trying to learn to play it."
     Jill looked at me, and she was going to drop one of her rich person
comments on me, so I quickly stuck in, "And it was literally the _only_
thing I got for Christmas - my whole family, aunts and uncles and
grandparents and everyone got together and got me one, but I didn't get
_anything_ else.  Not even a sweater."
     "So do you know how to play it yet?" Jill asked.
     "It's coming along," I sighed.  "This school thing really cuts into
my practice time."  Kim giggled.
     Jill shook her head.  "I hated practice when my mom made me take
piano."
     I nodded.  "Yeah, but it's a little different when you want to,
instead of your parents making you.  Besides, at least this time of
year, it's something to do inside where it's warm."  I turned to Kim.
"Wait, you play for band, right?"  She nodded.  "How's that going?"

***
11:27 19 Jan

     "Oh, come on," we begged Jill, who was finally blushing like I'd
been all night.  It was about time.  "Just a little," Kim added.
     "Okayokayokay," Jill submitted, and fished in her pocket.  She
pulled out your standard harmonica.  She put it to her mouth, looked at
us, and cracked up.  "No, I can't!" she giggled.
     "Val," Kim ordered, "stop looking at her."  I was going to protest
it wasn't my fault, but she put a finger under my chin and forced me to
look up.  Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Kim was doing it too,
so I didn't say anything.
     I couldn't see Jill get ready, but when she started to play, it was
pretty good, in that lonely way that harmonicas sound.  It was
definitely an original rendition of Metallica's "Sandman," and it
sounded pretty good, considering she wasn't playing two guitars a bass
and a drum set.  Actually, it just sounded pretty good.
     "Waaaay cool!" I tossed into the air, and she stopped.  Kim let go
of my head in time for me to catch Jill looking confused and embarrassed
again.
     "I'm not that good or anything," she said lamely.
     "No, no!" we both told her.  "It's real good!" I said.  "How long
did it take you to practice that?"
     Kim said, "That was great!"
     "So when are you going on tour?" asked Dan the waiter, and Jill
tried to crawl under the table.  "No, it was fabulous!  Come on, don't
be shy," he tried to tell her.  "You've got some real talent there."

***
11:29 19 Jan

     "Val, I'll _loan_ you the money, okay?" Kim pushed.
     "Okay, okay, I'll have another, and some orange juice.  Okay?" I
asked Kim, and she nudged me, and grinned.  So I nudged her back, and we
were pushing each other and giggling until she accidentally almost
bounced my head against the wall.
     "Would you two stop it," Jill snapped at us.  That was fine with me
at this point.  Dan had already bounced off.  I was beginning to suspect
he was gay.  Not that I really wanted to find out.

***
11:33 19 Jan

     "Ohhh, man, I love this," I mumbled as I tore into my third
croissant.
     "Maybe you'll gain some weight," Kim said nastily.  She ripped hers
in half and gave a piece to Jill.
     "What is this with my weight?" I complained.  "You don't have any
problems yourself, why are you worried?"
     "Huh!" she disputed.

***
11:34 19 Jan

     She leaned over and whispered a number in my ear.
     "That's not fat!" I said.  "See, I knew it."
     Kim whined, "It IS!"
     "How much?" asked Jill.
     Kim got up and whispered in Jill ear.  "That's not fat," Jill said
in surprise.
     "See!"
     "But I'm..." Kim waved her hands over herself.
     "Shapely," I said.
     "Curvy," Jill said.
     "Oohhhh so fine," I sang.
     "And mine all mine!" Jill and I chorused.  Kim just blushed.  Jill
and I high-fived each other.

***
11:39 19 Jan

     "I gotta be at work soon," Jill sighed.
     Kim thought about it, and put in, "Yeah, I got homework out the
butt to do tonight too."
     "I'm just gonna get grounded forever," I said, to put things in
perspective.

***
11:57 19 Jan

     "Are you sure nobody's looking?" I asked frantically.
     "We're sure," Jill said.
     "That means you too!"
     "Val!  We saw you last night, what are you afraid of?"
     I grumbled, "I dunno, but I'm afraid of it."  They giggled as I
slid under the blanket in the back of Kim's car and started to
disassemble myself.

***
12:03 19 Jan

     "Oh, God."  Something had just popped into my head.
     "What?"
     "What'm I gonna DO with all this stuff?  I can't take it home!"
     Kim said, "I'll take it home, and give it back to Debbie on Monday,
okay?"

***
12:09 19 Jan

     "Wait, you still got a little on your eye..." Kim wiped at my left
eye with the makeup-off wipe.
     "You _sure_ nobody saw me?" I asked.  Not like I was paranoid or
anything.  Haha.
     "We're sure.  We kept watch the whole time.  And nobody comes here
anyway on Sundays."
     "You two were talking the whole time!"
     "We can still watch while we talk, Val," Jill bitched at me.
     "Shhhh!" Kim said.  "You don't want to get this stuff in your
mouth."

***
12:18 19 Jan

     "Oh, God," I moaned.  "I'm gonna die."
     "We'll walk you in," Kim said.  "Come on."  She got out of the car
along with Jill, and I reluctantly followed a second later.  I felt like
I was walking to the guillotine instead of my front door.
     I opened it up, and motioned them in.  Brian was sitting on the
couch with one of his buddies, and they looked up when we came in.
     "You're in for it," he told me right off.  "Mom is completely out
of it this morning."
     "Oh, God," I said.
     From upstairs, I heard, "EUGENE WALLACE TUCKER!"
     "Oh, God!" I said.
     Kim said, "Well, good luck," and gave me a hug and a kiss.  Then
she handed me to Jill, who also gave me a hug and a kiss.
     "Good luck.  And don't say nothin'," Jill said in a Brooklyn
accent.
     "GET UP HERE!" my mom shrieked.
     I sighed.  "See you two Monday.  Tell Debbie hi."
     "We will," they promised, and they left.

***
12:21 19 Jan

     "A MONTH?!  You can't ground me for a month!"
     "Don't YOU tell me what I can and can't do!  You have been gone for
the ENTIRE weekend, with only one phone call to tell us 'Hi, I'm fine,
I'll be back later,' you didn't even say where you WERE, I was worried
SICK about you...."  Mom was practically foaming at the mouth.
     I tuned her back out, sick to my stomach.  A month?

***
13:02 19 Jan

     "So who were those babes?" Brian asked me as I did dishes.
     "Couple of friends."
     "Better not let Debbie know about 'em," he said in this sort of
"pay me and I won't say anything" tone.  But I had him this time.
     So I looked over at him, and said, real Clint Eastwood like, "Where
do you think I met 'em?"
     Pause.
     "They're Debbie's friends," I said casually.  "She had to do
something today, so she said they should take me out."  Close enough.
     "Nuh uh," he said.
     "Way.  You can ask her next time you see her."  Then I got
depressed all over again.

***
18:07 19 Jan

     "Hello?"
     "Debbie?  Listen," I said as she started to talk.  "I can't talk
more than a couple of minutes, I'm grounded BIG time."
     "How long?"
     "A month."  It still made me sick.
     "A MONTH?!"
     "That's what _I_ said when they said it, and they were pretty sure
about it, so I can only stay on the phone a couple of minutes, or it'll
get extended."
     "Oh my God..."
     "Yeah."  I took a deep breath.  "Anyway, I had a _lot_ of fun this
weekend, luv, so tell everyone I said hi from prison here, okay?"
     "Okay, will do..."  She sounded about as unhappy as I felt.  "Is
everything else okay?"
     "Yeah, Kim's got... your stuff, she said she'd give it-"
     "Yeah, she called already.  Um.  Hell.  This sucks.  Well, I'll
tell everyone the bad news, I guess..."
     "Okay.  I'll be thinking of you, you know."
     "Me too.  Be strong."
     "I will."  I sighed, and she kissed me over the phone, so I kissed
her back.  "Anyway, I got homework to do to, so I'd better go.  Bye."
     "Bye, love.  Kisskiss."  She hung up.

***
07:55 20 Jan

     "Hey, Tuck, where'd you go Saturday night and Sunday?" Mike asked
as he came up.  I turned, and George and Dan were with him.
     I took a deep breath, and said, "You wouldn't believe it if I told
you."
     George said, "I'd believe anything out of you at this point."
     "Well...."

***
07:58 20 Jan

     "All six of them?  No way, man, you are _lying_."
     I poked him in the chest.  "You saw me Saturday, you tell me."
     Dan shook his head.  "This is not possible, this is not
_happening_..."
     "That's what _I_ kept thinking, but then they'd do something
_else_..."
     "So what did you do with 'em?" asked George eagerly.  Always to the
point, George was.
     "Not a damnthing, George old bean.  They would have kiillllleeeddd
me if I tried anything like that."  I stretched it out like they would
have.  "Besides, Debbie said she would do something much, much worse,
her words, if I embarrassed her and acted like a jock at Sabrina's
house."
     "Like what could be worse?"
     "I don't wanna know, but I'm sure she had two or three things in
mind, and I don't want to know what _any_ of 'em are!"  I pointed at
George.  "Do _you_?"  He shook his head frantically.
     I sighed and slumped against the wall.  "It was weird enough
anyway."  I shook my head.  "We mostly talked, about all kinds of girl
stuff, just what you'd expect, like my sister and her friends used to
do."  We'd bugged her room enough times to get bored with listening to
them.  "Sabrina cleaned out her clothes closet on us, too, and somehow
some stuff I _paid_ for is missing, but I've got like two whole bloody
trashbags in Debbie's car that I can call 'mine' if I dare."  I couldn't
help grin.  "And, man, it was the weirdest thing in the world, 'cause
they were trying stuff on too, and clothes were flying back and forth,
and they were almost naked half the time we were doing that, and-"
     "And you didn't DO anything?" George asked, like he couldn't
believe it.
     I smacked him in the head.  "George!  Think, for a minute, here!" I
lowered my voice a lot.  "I'm in the same stuff they're wearing!  We are
literally, exchanging clothes!  And there's six of them, and one of me,
and Sabrina's _parents_ are like twenty feet away max, and _Debbie_
wants me to behave.  I didn't do _anything_.  Which," I blocked their
comebacks, "is why I am a-live too-day, gentlemen."
     George just rolled his eyes, and said, "Tuck, you are the biggest
wuss I have ever seen in my entire life."
     Dan unexpectedly said, "George, old man, there is a time for sex,
and that wasn't it.  If you'd learn that, you wouldn't end up in jail
again."  That had happened more because he thought he could smart off to
a cop than anything else, but his parents had been truly pissed.  So had
the parents of the girl he'd been making out with.  The rest of us, of
course, laughed our asses off.  Since he was our friend, we did it away
from him, but it was still funny when it happened.  As might be
expected, he hated being reminded of it.

***
08:02 20 Jan

     "So how long are you grounded?"  I'd turned the topic to something
less weird.  Some things you just didn't want to talk about in homeroom.
     I told Mike, "A full month."
     He shook his head.  "Debbie is _not_ gonna like that."
     "She doesn't," I agreed.

***
11:41 20 Jan

     "Hey, ladies," I called as us geeks walked up to the Pack's lair.
     "Heyyyy," said Kim, who came over and hugged me.  Debbie replaced
her, and added a kiss.  The rest of them were currently dating, and it
wouldn't have been politic to do much more than say hello, which they
did.  They said it like they meant it, though.
     "So, what's up?" Kathy asked.
     I sighed.  "Got some bad news..."  And I told them about being
grounded.
     They already knew about it, which surprised the hell out of me,
until I remembered DebbieNet.

***
11:43 20 Jan

     "So..." George waved at me, "did... all that... really happen?"
     "What, about the lesbian orgy?" Kathy said innocently.  "That
happened, but it was upstairs, not in the front yard."  She sniffed at
us.  "We're not _sluts_."
     I laughed so hard it hurt.
     When I could hear again, Kathy was saying something about "this
girl Valerie" that had come over.
     "No, Valerie was a lot of fun," said Sabrina.  "My folks liked
her."
     Dan choked.  Mike and George just stared.  Until Mike started
smacking his forehead.
     Jill drawled, "We'll have to have her over again sometime," and
grinned.
     "A lot!" Kim added, giggling.
     "Not for a looong time," I sighed.
     "When do you get un-grounded again?" Debbie asked.
     "In a month.  I guess that would be around the eighteenth."  It was
depressing in the extreme.
     She frowned, and started thinking.  This was going to cause me
trouble, I just knew it.

***
12:26 21 Jan

     I sighed, and opened up my gym locker.  I hate PE.
     "Yeah, man, she was so hot Friday night..." drifted over the top of
the lockers, which made me snicker.  I knew how _I'd_ spent Friday
night, and I had my doubts that anyone else in here could compete.  Not
to mention Saturday night.  In fact, I'd better not mention Saturday
night to anyone else.
     "What're you laughing at, geek?" Mark asked snidely as he shoved my
bag over.
     "Nothing I'm gonna tell you about," I shot back, grabbing my
standard school-logoed gym bag to make sure he didn't just dump it on
the floor.  I pulled off my shirt and stuffed it into the locker, then
unzipped the bag to get out my gym shirt.
     What I felt when I stuck my hand in, though, was not your average
Hanes cotton T shirt.  *Silk?* I wondered, stunned.
     Without thinking, which would have been a good thing to do right
then, I pulled out what my hand was resting on.  It was a very nice
dress, definitely silk.  "Oh, shit!"  This _had_ to be Pam's church
outfit.  I checked the tag on the dress, and sure enough, it was her
size.  I smacked my forehead a couple of times.  "She's gonna _kill_
me..."
     When I looked up, finally, to see if anyone had noticed what I was
holding, everyone, and I mean _everyone_ was looking at me in this eerie
silence, like they'd just figured out I was the only non-vampire there
or something.
     "Ahhhh, I grabbed the wrong bag at the party," I explained.  Sad
thing was, it was true.
     "Oh," said Mark all sweet-nasty, "Playing with Debbie's clothes
again?"
     "No, asshole, this is..."  My smarts must've finally caught up with
me, 'cause I realized it would be a Really Bad Idea for me to mention
names.  "I can't say whose, actually."
     "Are you sure that's not _yours_?" Ed snickered.  So did everyone
else.
     "Oh, don't be a jackass," I snapped, and waved the tag at them,
"this is a size _six_."  The cold certainty shut everyone up again.  "I
couldn't fit into this on a bet.  Neither could Debbie."
     While everyone was quiet, I took the opportunity to drop the dress
back in the bag and get the hell outta there.  My plaid shirt could
wait.
     "Hey faggot!" someone called behind me.
     I just yelled back, "Sorry, your boyfriend's still in junior high!"
and zipped through the door.  Strategic conservation of forces time.  I
started to run like hell to find one of the coaches to play the UN.

***
14:52 21 Jan

     "Debbie!"  She turned around, and started walking towards me.
     "Tuck, look, I'm sorry, I had your gym back in my trunk all this
time, I didn't even..."  She slowly trailed off in confusion as she
looked at the gym bag in my hand.
     I motioned her close, and whispered in her ear, "This is Pam's
church stuff, make sure it gets to her, okay?  But don't do it here."
     "Why not?" she asked, puzzled.
     "'Cause I found out I had the wrong bag in the locker room, and
_everyone_ saw it, and if anyone sees who you give it to, then they'll
see I had her clothes and questions will be asked and bad things will
happen."  I didn't even want to try and guess what bad things would
happen.  But that's usually a sign that it's pretty immense.
     "_How_ did you find it in the locker room?" she asked.  I sighed.

***

"Whaddaya mean, real girls don't wear army boots?  You haven't seen any
real girls lately then, have you?"

TS Tip #12: As in software, always always ALWAYS beta test everything.

"Tallyho!"      \   /     @>--,--'--  ehayes@nym.alias.net  + vicki .sig
Ellen Hayes --=(*)=(*)=-- Renaissance Woman    ==[--------  + virus 9.1a
            http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/Heights/5734/


-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: 2.6.2

iQCUAwUBNBJMSnYDebnvyV1VAQG0twP4msChyTrS4UMvx77WSHWpCkWpbNJhNKFF
1KKfWLJM8j0+SYF0uRZJQM3TlmU+BC1N6MOAgYT239qryOgYDMKdbpNQQ1wcXzpt
AP3NvvlReza/zCe08wAGPKDLDULXSCklpvxZXqeZq8YUInMxPcfCrFKPinNrE2Qt
3v+Kncr+Kw==
=Np8c
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----
