Title: Hot Buttered Ass
Author: Count Delasoif
Posted 27/1/04
Codes: mf, anal

	One evening, coming back to the house, I heard an excited greeting from my wife. As I unlocked the door, Tina bounded up to me and kissed me on the lips.
	Come and see what I made.
	She grabbed my wrist and led me towards the bedroom.
	This was my kind of surprise! I dropped my briefcase and followed.
	Outside the bedroom door, she stopped.
	Oh, I said, disappointed. I thought youd built something inside the bedroom. Like one of those love swings, or something.
	Thats been ordered, Tina reassured me. But look at this.
	She closed the bedroom door and I reeled. There was a hole in it!
	Its a cat-flap, Tina explained. 
	A cat flap? But we dont even own a cat!
	Well, we might get one.
	Not into the bedroom!
	I peered at the hole in the door.
	Anyway, its a bit big, isnt it? I mean, a cats very small. You could practically fit through that cat-flap.
	I could fit through it, Tina said, defiantly.
	No, I laughed. Youre not that small. You couldnt fit through that.
	Want to bet?
	I grinned at her.
	Seriously?
	Watch this.
	Dropping to her hands and knees, my wife eased her arms through the hole into the bedroom door and then poked her head through.
	She wiggled her shoulders. 
	Its tight.
	I told you, I sneered. Youre not that small!
	Oh, yeah?
	Tina pulled her head back out and pulled off her sweater.
	It was a thick sweater, she explained.
	In just her bra, my wife ducked down again and tried to squeeze her shoulders through the tiny hole. She grunted, wiggling her curvy little bottom.
	There! Her shoulders popped through the cat-flap. I did it!
	She continued crawling forward, trying to squeeze her hips through.
	Its these jeans! Theyre too thick.
	Need some help, there?
	Please.
	Rolling my eyes, I helped unbuckle her jeans and eased them over her hips. My wifes beautiful, curvy bottom was revealed, just inches from my face.
	She was wearing a tiny, bubblegum pink thong.
	Very nice, I commented.
	She kicked off her jeans and then started struggling through the cat-flap.
	Her face glistened with sweat. 
	Ive almost got it!
	She took a deep breath. Tinas face was red.
	One more go. She wiggled her hips. Nnnnnrrrgh!
	Nothing.
	Phew, Tina wiped her brow. Okay, I guess I wont fit through the cat-flap. You win! Now help me out.
	She started to go into reverse.
	Bollocks! Tina tried to squeeze her shoulders back through the hole. I cant get my shoulders out!
	I grabbed her hips and pulled.
	Pull harder!
	She was stuck.
	Her head and shoulders were on one side, her hips and legs were on the other. Like a pig in a poke, my wife was stuck fast in the little cat-flap.
	I told you it was too small.
	Shut up! Get me out of this!
	I knelt down and grabbed her hips again.
	Nnnnrgh!
	I pulled hard, my face turning red.
	Come on! Pull harder!
	There was a snap! I suddenly flew across the room and landed in a heap under the ironing board.
	In my hand were her bubblegum pink panties. The thong had snapped.
	Hey! Tina, or at least her naked arse, which was the only bit I could see, was shouting at me. What happened to my knickers, you pervert?
	I dusted myself down.
	Listen, Tina. I think youre stuck.
	Oh, youd love that, wouldnt you? 
	Listen. Lets try pushing you out.
	I knelt down behind her, grabbed one of her firm buttocks in each hand and pushed. Tina wriggled and struggled, but she wasnt going anywhere.
	Well have to try something else.	
	Like what?
	Hang on a second. Ive got an idea.
	I ran into the bathroom and raided the cupboard. A moment later I came out with several tubs, bottles and tubes.
	Tina heard the clunk of the toiletries from behind her.
	What are you doing?
	Im lubing you up.
	Hey! Christ, no! Leave my bum alone for five minutes!
	Im lubing your body up, you chump. 
	At first we used moisturiser, squirting big dollops over Tinas hips. That didnt really help. Next, we tried half a bottle of baby oil.
	Her hips and backside glistened temptingly.
	Push! I put my shoulder against her arse, trying to force her through the hole. Push harder!
	A minute later, we both collapsed with exhaustion.
	Look, Tina suggested. Why dont I try reversing out of here. Come and lube up my top half.
	I crawled around to Tinas front.
	Well, were out of moisturiser, I warned her, but weve still got some baby oil and half a tube of KY Jelly.
	Take my bra off. I dont want it to get ruined.
	So, naked, I slathered Tinas chest and shoulders with baby-oil. Then, I squirted a big glob of KY Jelly onto the palms of my hands and started rubbing it into her heavy, pendulous breasts.
	I couldnt help it. My cock started to swell up as I squeezed and kneaded her heavy breasts.
	Is that a lump in your trousers? Youre getting turned on by this, Pervert!
	A bit, I admitted.
	Save it for later.
	We tugged, pulled, shoved and squeezed, but Tina failed to escape.
	Panting a little, she said:
	I think I moved a bit more that time. The lubrications working.
	Well, were out of it.
	Go to the kitchen. See if you can find anything.
	I wiped my hands and ran to the kitchen.
	A moment later I came back, laden down with goodies.
	Right. Ive got oil-in-a-can, a tub of virgin olive oil and two sticks of butter.
	I sprayed the can of oil all over her breasts and shoulders. The tub of olive oil was poured over her hips. I used my hands to smear the gloop all over her waist and body, feeling her firm, supple flesh under my hands.
	She was a complete mess. Covered in oil and grease, Tina glistened, dripping on the floorboards. 
	My wife and I struggled, but it still didnt work. I could hardly grip her. Every time I grabbed my wifes hips to pull, the oil and grease made my hands slip.
	Push me! Get your shoulder against my arse and push!
	I dropped to me knees, placed my shoulder against the soft, firm cheeks of her bum and pushed.
	Nothing. 
	I flopped back, resting my cheek on her bottom.
	Bloody hell! Tina cried. Im still stuck!
	I panted for breath. Her buttocks were slick with sweat and her hips and thighs glistened softly with the dripping gloop.
	My cock throbbed in my trousers.
	Tina heard me unzipping my fly.
	What are you doing?
	Listen, I told her, kicking off my clothes until I was naked, I cant really concentrate on your problem while Ive got this big distraction.
	Seven inches of it?
	I picked up one of the sticks of butter. It was still firm, from being in the fridge so long. As I unwrapped it, I patted Tina lovingly on the bum.
	Listen, I told her. This is going to help you relax your muscles.
	Relax my? What are you doing back there?
	I threw the foil onto the floor and knelt down behind Tina, parting the cheeks of her bum. Her tiny little arsehole, all pink and wrinkled, peered up at me.
	Leave my arse alone! Aieeeeeeeeee!
	She was screaming because Id just pressed the tip of the stick of butter against her bum. Firm and cold, it forced her open and slid into her arse like a dildo.
	Thisll make everything go in much more easily.
	Things arent meant to go in there!
	I slid the stick of butter in and out of Tinas firm little arse. With my other hand, I scooped up some of the grease and rubbed her clit, until my wife squirmed.
	Thats nice. But what are you doing to my bum?
	The stick of butter was slowly melting. As it was warmed up by Tinas body heat, the butter greased up her arsehole beautifully.
	I rubbed Tinas clit, listening to her breath grow deeper.
	If this hurts, Ill kill you!
	The stick of butter finally squidged into a greasy lump. I took the rubbed them up and down my cock, greasing myself up.
	What is your obsession with my arse? Tina moaned. I swear you put a load of cum up my butt every other day. I think you should see a psychiatrist.
	I pressed the tip of my greasy dick against Tinas arsehole. With a pop, the head of my cock sank in past the ring of muscles and I felt the most exquisite grip around my shaft.
	Tina groaned: Fuck, thats big!
	My cock sank deep into her hot, buttered arse, right up to the balls. I gripped her hips, thrusting in as deeply as I could.	Gentle, please! Tina moaned. Please be gentle!
	I pumped in and out of her butt, listening to the squelch of butter and grease. 
	Gentle! Tina was moaning. God, youre really reaming me out!
	She felt so tight. I gripped her oily hips and pounded in and out of her, feeling her arse open up under the punishment.
	Ugh! Tina grunted at each thrust. Ugh! Ugh!
	There was a wet slap as my hips thumped into her buttocks. Her bum jiggled with each blow. 
	Mmmm! Tina begged. Its in so deep
	My cock was swelling up inside her arse. The feeling was so good. 
	My balls constricted. I thrust myself so far into Tinas arse that she screamed. A flood of cum bubbled up the shaft of my cock.
	Here it cums!
	Powerful spurts of spunk flooded her butt. I came like a racehorse, pouring buckets of semen into her bowels. 
	Pop!
	Powered forward by the last thrust of my hips, Tina popped through the cat-flap. Shed had to wrench herself off my dick, impaling her arsehole, but she managed to scramble free,
	Im free! Tina stood up, covered in grease and grime. She was glistening. Big, white globs of spunk rolled down her legs.
	She rubbed her arse.
	Fuck! You really reamed me out
	I stepped into the bedroom and gave my wife a hug.
	Thank God youre free. I was actually a little disappointed. I was sure I had another couple of loads of cum in my swollen balls and her arse had been so tempting, all pert and defenceless, stuck in the doorway.
	Tina pressed her head against my chest.
	 Im pleased to be out of there!
	I told you that it could relax your muscles.
	Relax them? She wiggled her hips. I dont think my bum will feel right for a week. She squeezed me tightly, though. But it was fun.
	Tina went off and had a shower while I tidied up.
	A little while later, all freshly scrubbed, she left me to wash up and picked up the phone. She grinned at me.
	Who are you calling? I demanded.
	Hush, Tina pressed her finger against her lips.
	I could hear the phone ringing.
	Hello? Is that you, Keri?
	Keri was our attractive young neighbour, who both Tina and I had fancied for ages. My wife, the kinky little slut, obviously saw an opportunity here!
	Tina winked mischievously.
	Listen, Keri, my wife said, innocently. Ive just put a cat-flap in the bedroom door. No, we dont have a cat. Not yet, anyway. But my husband and I were having an argument about it. He says youd never fit through it, but I think you could
	Whats that? A bet? Of course.!
	She hung up.
	Right, Tina grinned. Keris going to be over in half an hour.
	What are you doing?
	Im running across the store to pick up some butter and olive oil.
	She winked.
	If I was you, darling husband, Id get to work making sure that cat-flaps a couple of sizes smaller, just in case
