"An Awkward Awakening"
Story Blog
Since the Discussion Group was generating such a small response, I figured it might be better if I created a short Blog here, instead. Since I wasn't getting much feedback, a discussion board doesn't make as much sense.
Index:
Well good news, I'm currently finishing off 2 chapters near the end and I can now see the end of the first book. All I need after these is a little editing on another chapter and I'll just have the merging of the editor's changes to do.
The first book looks to be about 16 chapters.
On a side note, another reader mentioned he almost missed the entire Prologue, figuring it was just a short blurb and was surprised when he accidentally clicked it to find it was a full chapter.
NOTE to all readers: Read the damn Prologue and the start of Chapter 1 as they're all part of the story!
Well, aside from 2 very mild critiques, the readers have been VERY supportive so far, and even those 2 criticisms were perfectly valid.
However the same cannot be said for other critiques I have been receiving. Seems whenever I mention I've posted a story to another writer, I invariably get a long follow up response about how my writing is all wrong! I guess I bring it upon myself by insisting on sharing with others, but...
I'm perfectly aware that my writing runs counter to what is taught. I'm perfectly aware of why my techniques aren't universally accepted. Hell, anyone who's ever attending school, ever read a book or seen a movie understand all the stand "rules" of writing. The problem is, I really don't CARE.
The problem with universal rules is that they tend to produce very standard results, which is a good thing, but it can also be a very limiting thing as well.
I'd spent years trying to write something as a way of "giving back" to the community. However, everything I wrote simply bored me to tears. I had great plots, nice ideas, but the presentation would always get bogged down in the details. While reading most standard stories is fine, I found that actually writing one just bothered me a great deal.
So I finally decided to simply abandon all of the "standard" rules for writing. The one that states you should write assuming 80% of the population only reads on a 5th grade level, or that you've got to have a strong protagonist countered by an equally strong antagonist, etc.
As a result of abandoning these rules I wrote this story. Now I know this story is not going to be widely popular, but that wasn't the point. If I was writing to feed a family I'm sure I'd write potboilers, but I'm not.
A better way to think of what I'm doing is to think of it as a "Writing Exercise". I'm trying to see just how successful a story can be when written outside of all the standard rules.
The reason why Alex doesn't go around lecturing people on his atheism is because the typical response when someone mentions the topic is to ask, "How can you not believe something that everyone else does?" They don't put it in those words precisely, but you can tell that's what they mean by it.
It seems writers are in the same boat. They've all accepted they have to compromise to be successful, so if anyone else writes something outside of the accepted standards they all get apoplectic!
So, if my style of writing bothers you, my fellow writers, just take solace in the fact that it's never going to be a wildly popular story. Nor was it ever intended to be. This is simply an alternative to all the standardly written pieces found online. That's it! Nuff said.
Also, a few readers have commented how they're now 'cautious' not to say the wrong thing. It's not my intention to intimidate my readers. I welcome any reactions to my stories, I just didn't think the writers who'd commented to me had listened when I described what I was trying to write.
Just so you are all aware, I'm using special formatting in portions of this story. The comments by the Fictional biographer of the story is in italics to separate it from the rest of the text.
Any telepathic messages are also conveyed in both italics and in single quote. Thus:
'This is a telepathic message.' while
"This is just somebody saying something."
Well good news, I'm currently finishing off 2 chapters near the end and I can now see the end of the first book. All I need after these is a little editing on another chapter and I'll just have the merging of the editor's changes to do.
The first book looks to be about 16 chapters.
On a side note, another reader mentioned he almost missed the entire Prologue, figuring it was just a short blurb and was surprised when he accidentally clicked it to find it was a full chapter.
Note to all readers: Read the damn Prologue and the start of Chapter 1 as they're all part of the story!
I got a note from a reader advising me that if I was going to grouse about my inability to write that I should restrict it to my blog. The reader was, of course, referring to the fictional author's introduction (Chapter 1). It seems this particular reader had seen something he didn't like, made an assumption and skipped over the offending passage never reading it, thus never getting the portion of the story contained therein.
Now it would be easy to simply blame that individual, but it got me thinking. Just how many similar readers might there be who also skipped that part of the story?
Having skipped it, he missed the point. It was a statement by the imaginary, fictional 'author' of the story who the readers are supposed to guess who is. I guess I didn't phrase it very well and didn't quite convey it as well as I should. I was also leaving the door open to future 'comments' from the narrator. That was the point of the 'point of view' references. I plan to introduce him/her whenever I switch references away from Alex.
I'd like to hear from anyone who might have made the same mistake, just so I'll know whether that portion of the story should be recrafted to make it more obvious or not.
Well, aside from 2 very mild critiques, the readers have been VERY supportive so far, and even those 2 criticisms were perfectly valid.
However the same cannot be said for other critiques I have been receiving. Seems whenever I mention I've posted a story to another writer, I invariably get a long follow up response about how my writing is all wrong! I guess I bring it upon myself by insisting on sharing with others, but...
I'm perfectly aware that my writing runs counter to what is taught. I'm perfectly aware of <b>why</b> my techniques aren't universally accepted. Hell, anyone who's ever attending school, ever read a book or seen a movie understand all the stand "rules" of writing. The problem is, I really don't CARE.
The problem with universal rules is that they tend to produce very standard results, which is a good thing, but it can also be a very limiting thing as well.
I'd spent years trying to write something as a way of "giving back" to the community. However, everything I wrote simply bored me to tears. I had great plots, nice ideas, but the presentation would always get bogged down in the details. While reading most standard stories is fine, I found that actually writing one just bothered me a great deal.
So I finally decided to simply abandon all of the "standard" rules for writing. The one that states you should write assuming 80% of the population only reads on a 5th grade level, or that you've got to have a strong protagonist countered by an equally strong antagonist, etc.
As a result of abandoning these rules I wrote <i>this</i> story. Now I know this story is not going to be widely popular, but that wasn't the point. If I was writing to feed a family I'm sure I'd write potboilers, but I'm not.
A better way to think of what I'm doing is to think of it as a "Writing Exercise". I'm trying to see just how successful a story can be when written outside of all the standard rules.
The reason why Alex doesn't go around lecturing people on his atheism is because the typical response when someone mentions the topic is to ask, "How can you not believe something that everyone else does?" They don't put it in those words precisely, but you can tell that's what they mean by it.
It seems writers are in the same boat. They've all accepted they have to compromise to be successful, so if anyone else writes something outside of the accepted standards they all get apoplectic!
So, if my style of writing bothers you, my fellow writers, just take solace in the fact that it's never going to be a wildly popular story. Nor was it ever intended to be. This is simply an alternative to all the standardly written pieces found online. That's it! Nuff said.
Also, a few readers have commented how they're now 'cautious' not to say the wrong thing. It's not my intention to intimidate my readers. I welcome any reactions to my stories, I just didn't think the writers who'd commented to me had listened when I described what I was trying to write.
Well, from the feedback I've been getting from my posting of Chapter 4, it seems clear I've clearly messed up with Cate's character. I simply gave her too many cakes to balance and, as a result, she seems to have dropped all of them.
I planned for Cate to serve several roles, each very important to the story. She was supposed to be Alex's most vocal supporter and defender, she was meant to supply humor via her "teasings" with Alex (described by one reader as "childish bickering"), she was to help explain what was going on in the story AND she was to provide an open question on what was going to happen between her and Alex. However, it's hard to do ANY of those things if she's so unsympathetic that no one likes her!
Now THIS is where I need other writer's advice. Not in telling me what I shouldn't write, but in telling me how to pull out of mistakes I make once I've decided what I want to write. ;D
I must say I was warned though. Most of my previous rewrites were the result of Cate's character. Even in this last version my editor warned me that Cate was coming on too strong, but each time I tried to 'tone her down' rather than simply simplify her role. Thinking about it now, I should have given several of those roles to various of Alex's women. That way, if any of them proved unpopular, it wouldn't impact the others' ability to continue with the story.
I've watched enough politics that I should have realized that confident and assertive don't produce sympathetic female characters! I should simply have left Cate to watch Alex play with his various women from the next bed and left it at that.
If anyone has an opinion on the subject, I'd be glad to hear it. As a struggling, beginning writer I'd like to hear just where I went wrong and at what point did Cate lose you.
If it was up to me, I'd probably try yet another rewrite, but there's too many of you already invested for me to try that now. Maybe if I ever do a rewrite in the future.
About all I can say here is, try to imagine Cate as a sympathetic character! It's too late to pull her out now, and she plays many central roles in the upcoming story.
'After getting more feedback, and after doing some last minute massaging to the upcoming chapters, I think I've got a better handle on this problem.
Many people have voted. There was never any angry complaints about Cate, just a several stray comments. However, since my main editor has been talking about Cate's taking over the story for a while, I thought it made sense to pay attention to it.
Seems no one is overly concerned about Cate, yet, but Chapters 5 & 6 probably present Cate at her best/worst. I did some quick, last minute updates to Chapter 5, and think I've now got a handle on it, but the results are going to rest in your hands, obviously. I saw a couple of chances to provide a few chances to glimpse a bit more of Cate, though mostly it's foreshadowing for later.
My biggest surprise was when I was redirecting some of her comments, trying to make her presence a little smaller, I saw that I had been writing her speech as having more attitude than I had thought. Then one reader simply suggested that, if I wanted Cate to be more sympathetic, I should simply have her show her affection for Alex a bit more.
Those two little items got me thinking, and I'm beginning to think I've unintentionally been putting more into Cate than I was aware of. So, short of some extensive therapy to figure out why, I've taken a slightly different tact. Now I'm focusing on trying to explain Cate a little better. Unfortunately, most of that only takes place near the end of Book 1, but it happens in enough time for a nice resolution, as Cate makes an attempt to make amends.
You'll have to let me know just how successful I've been in my new approach. I've modified her approach a bit in the next 2 chapters, having Alex publicly chastise her a bit, but don't expect her to change overnight. Also, my other editor assures me that Cate comes across better as more information is revealed about her.
Hopefully that'll give you all an idea of where I'm heading on this regard. I don't think Cate will be any more sympathetic, but she'll become a slightly richer character as a result. More conflicted and more driven by unknown forces. Perfect for a work of fiction!
Some of Alex's Problems as Well:
As always, I keep getting fascinating responses to the story and the Blog as well. While I'm getting more negative feedback about Cate (previously, and from another site), I'm also getting more positive one's, especially one from a father of three, who says girls that age typically experiment by trying out differing, usually conflicting roles, so it isn't unusual that Cate would both idealize and torment her brother.
But the other idea to pop up is regarding Alex's role in the story. Basically, the idea that he spends so much time complaining and not getting behind Cate's search for answers. Or, as one e-mail put it, "With Great Powers Come Great Responsibilities".
While I appreciate such thoughts, and they always get me thinking, I had a few initial responses.
1) It's only been a few days. Chapter 5 occurs the morning of the second day. It hasn't even been 2 full days yet!
2) A kid doesn't spend 12 years of school without any significant social contacts if he's normally outgoing and independent. Alex is, typically, shy and retiring.
3) Alex is, essentially, in shock. He's gone from a nice, quiet life where nobody ever notices him to one where people are coming out of the woodwork, watching him, coming up to him and demanding something of him. It takes an adjustment to adapt to something like that.
4) Finally, if I'm not wrong, the quote used above is kind of typical of the comic book mentality. Alex doesn't quite have "great powers".
He's got a few unusual abilities, but most of his powers can be bested by a cell phone! It's not like he could run out and stop a bank robbery from taking place, or pull someone from an oncoming train.
He's basically dealing as well as he can at the moment, and right now he's dealing with what's the most pressing right now; just handling the various women that come up to him needing assistance right then. Everything else, like Cate's theories, are largely background noise to him. It's interesting, and he appreciates the additional information, but it doesn't help him deal with any of it or figure out how to change anything.
Anyway, just a few initial reactions. As always, keep the cards and letters coming, as I find the dialogue riveting.
Following a recent discussion, I wondered how many responses I'd gotten, since I hadn't been keeping track. It seems like a lot, but after counting them all it turns out that, since I respond to each and every one, I keep getting a lot of follow-up responses.
Basically the answer to the question (of how many responses I've gotten) is about 50 individuals [again, this is based on another sites readership, so far for ASSTR, I've had only 2!] (not counting the infrequent anonymous messages), but I've had about 130 messages in all. Out of 11,000 downloads from 7 posts (you gotta count the cover page and prologue), that's still a fair number!
Be Sure To Order Your "Free Bonus" Material:
If you haven't responded to me before, you may not be aware, but I offer certain "Bonuses" to those that talk to me. I can't offer them here, for a variety of reasons. However, you should be warned that they exist.
It'll likely get difficult to offer the 'full set' to new readers in the future, as there's a LOT of material, so just be aware that the 'policy' might change at any time.
For those of you who are new to the story, I erased all the Book 1 Blog entries (another long story). If you'd like a copy of those, so you can know what people are referring to when someone mentions the 'Cate Problem', e-mail me and I'll send you a copy of them.
Also be aware that I've got collections of the Book 1 Bonus material.
If you missed anything, let me know and I'll try to get it to you.
And no, I'm not telling anyone what the Bonus material is! :P
Now that I've finally revealed the single cross over from the Prologue into the actual story, I can reveal some of the thinking behind the Prologue.
Part of the reason behind the prologue, aside from giving an insight into what was coming, was to reveal the temporal nature of the encounters in Alex's life. The women he meets, how he meets them, where they come from and what they look like aren't his choosing, they're completely random.
What better way to demonstrate that, quickly, than to show a woman who came only a few yards/moments from becoming Alex's first? She lucked into being in the right place at the right time, but the timing was just a few seconds off and, as a result, she'll probably NEVER meet him!
The same thinking meant that virtually everyone in the Prologue would never be seen again. They were all, essentially, 'throw away characters'; used to set up the scene but of no further value to the story.
However, I wanted a tie-in, just to reward the faithful reader. It certainly couldn't be the one who just missed him, otherwise the whole point of the prologue would have been lost. So instead it was one of the least likely, but the one with the strongest religious parallels!
And don't think I'm done with disappointing near misses, I've still got a few in mind just to keep you all guessing. ;)
Crumbly Writer
A family member who just started reading the story asked about why I picked the name "Crumbly Writer" since it was apparent I wasn't that bad. She then went on to question why I was so 'depreciating'. Here was my response (I thought it sounded good enough to post):
The "Crumby Writer" is a play on words. First, it hopefully gets the readers to let their guard down, plus, it's like holding a cookie in your hand, the story leaves pieces that keep falling in your mind, leaving behind a hundred crumbs of ideas. Kind of involved thinking for a name but....
I then went on to remind her that it wasn't necessarily me that was voicing complaints at the beginning of Chapter 1, but the fictional biographer, who was only picked to write Alex's biography because of her 'initial proximity' to the events involved. I also said that I initially wasn't sure whether there was actually any market for a story without a deceive hero, no discernible plot and no essential conflicts.
Shaniqua
Someone else asked about how you'd pronounce Shani's name, Shaniqua.
> However I am still stumbling over Shani's full name. (smile)
Ah, again my limited skills with writing pronunciation confounds me. Try this:
Sha (as in Shazam!) ni (as in knee) qua (as in "Quack like a duck").
Is that any help?
Well, now that we're all settling down into the story, I'm starting to get a few consistent e-mail responses. They generally fall into a couple of categories.
1) When's Alex going to screw Cate?
2) When's Alex finally going to have some kind of sex???
Valid questions both. Although I announced it would proceed slowly, it's been 7 chapters already so I can understand your getting impatient. But, I've got to respond the same way I did to a similar response about when Alex was finally going to stop complaining and finally DO something. The short answer is: in story time, it's still only Sunday and Alex has only been in town for 2 days! It generally takes someone longer than that to figure out how to react to new surroundings, not even counting the unusual events in Alex's life!
However, in regards to the sex, here's the short answers. (Note: Potential spoiler alert!) As you've probably already noticed, Alex has his first sex with his women in chapter 8, and it continues in the chapters to be released after that. It takes place after a specific event (you should all know which one by now) so the girls just couldn't control themselves any more. After that it picks up a bit, but there's a certain caveat to consider.
I had originally considered substantially more sex than is currently in the story. However, at a certain point, the various characters all got up and simply walked out of the room (you'll recognize the scene when you get to it). I had to make certain concessions to get them to come back in the room and climb back in the bed with Alex, but they insisted in one addition restriction. They wouldn't have intercourse with Alex! (You'll also see the reason when they finally explain it to Alex.) BTW, the chapter in question got pushed back a bit in the rotation.
Given those restrictions, it's a little hard to have too much hot and heavy sex, especially to a group of readers used to some pretty intense sex scenes. The sex that does take place is, aside from the sheer number of participants, pretty vanilla. Basically, Alex is SO thankful for ANY sex, that he's not about to complain about what he's receiving! ;D
I should also issue another warning. I originally posted an (Inc?) category on the story, mainly to warn readers that it would make up a significant portion of the story, but that it remains an open question for most of the book. There's a lot of teasing, as you've seen between Cate and Alex, but I refuse to follow the course of most stories where a brother and sister decide within a couple of paragraphs that they're going to have sex with each other. For these two, it takes a bit longer to get to that point, if they ever cross that particular rubicon. The major determinate happens later. Part of that is that scene stopper I just told you about. Part of it is that I have to make Cate more sympathetic before I have Alex do anything with her. ;D
Anyway, that explains all the missing sexy bits. Hope it doesn't spoil the story for any of you. If it makes you feel any better, I'm getting a little frustrated at the lack of sex myself, so I'm thinking of a nice sexy little story I might indulge in. All I've got to do is find the time to write it in my busy schedule writing the current story.
The story, a shorter piece but still a couple of chapters, would involve younger kids involved in actual incest, although it also deals with detailed characters and family dynamics (much like in this story).
Just a quick response to a message I got. They asked a couple of questions, in an anonymous e-mail, so I figured I'd address them here.
First of all, the ability to slow down time in not a new power of Alex's. It was simply an adrenaline rush, written based on personal experiences. If it was a new ability, Alex would have definitely commented on it. He probably would have anyway, just because it's a neat little experience, but he had a few other things on his mind at the time.
Next he asked about Alex's aura's bright glow. I'm sorry, but I can't really explain what it might or might not be without revealing way too much about what's in the story to come. The point is, these auras reveal a lot about people, only a little bit any of them currently understands. The reader is also meant to wonder about it, and to try to work it out as the characters wrestle with it.
What's a little clearer is the ironic situation I wrote into the story. Like the fact that Alex, an avowed atheist, is faced with a seemingly religious reverence, and more than a few people who think he was chosen by God, despite his beliefs, to do his bidding. Also that Alex has the ability to allow people to see the very souls that he doesn't believe in the existence of. However, like much in life, the evidence just isn't clear enough to make an easy final decision one way or another. Is it a soul or isn't it? Or is it merely something that serves the role of a soul, but isn't really?
That's the role of the story, to draw the reader in and get them to ask questions. Is Alex an agent of a God he doesn't believe in? Is he merely mistaken and will eventually change his mind? What is involved in these auras the girls see? What might be revealed about them in the future? Will Alex's abilities ever amount to more than a cute parlor trick?
And concerning Cate; is she merely an annoying little kid sister, or is there more to what she's expressing? Just what is her relationship with her brother? Is she actually attracted to him, or is she merely using him for her own advantage? These are questions that will eventually be borne out, but it won't end with him simply throwing her on the floor and screwing her, or from him yanking her from in front of a passing bus. She may not be sympathetic, but she's got a story to tell, one that's developed as I've wrestled with the questions that you, the readers, have brought up. Thanks for that.
Hope this gives you more of a feel of what I'm trying to achieve here. It's meant as an interactive story, even if you never write me a personal note. You're supposed to get involved with the story and make it your own. That's what makes the difference between a simple stroke story and a long, involved one that takes a long time to get around to any sex. ;D
Hope this doesn't sound like I'm simply dumping on a reader for responding. I really appreciate the feedback, even questions that strike me a little oddly. After all, I wouldn't respond if it didn't interest me.
A Little More About the Story's Sex:
OK, I'm getting letters from both directions now. Some asking when Cate and Alex are going to get together, some suggesting they'd like it if there was NO sex in the story, and others telling me they think Cate shouldn't be 'forcing herself' on Alex when he has no interest in her.
Let me explain a little part of what I'm trying to do with this story. I started this as an experiment in what I could get away with in a story. Part of it was seeing whether I could do without the whole 'Earth Saving' superhero part, doing without a strong antagonist. But part of it is whether I could write a reasonable harem and incest story. Not one where the characters all jump into bed in after the first several paragraphs but one where they struggle with the issues and, overall, their behaviors make a bit of sense.
I know many of my choices won't be everyone's cup of tea, but try to view it as the grand experiment it is meant to be. I'm trying to trigger my readers' curiosity by posing unanswerable questions, I'm trying to stretch the role of traditional storylines, and I'm trying to question the role one's preconceived notions of who they are, get stretched by reality.
All these complex notions take time to implement, and can often be fairly frustrating, as things never seem to turn out like you'd expect. But that's the idea, and not simply a bad execution (although it may be BOTH!).
I hope that explains a couple of questions. Yes, there's going to be sex, but it's not likely to be what you expect. Yes, there's going to be some things you dislike, but it's in there to express something specific.
As always, I encourage feedback on these issues. Especially any referencing how well I implemented, or failed to implemente, these concepts.
Just got a response, as follows:
> The book is progressing well, however I am curious to find out why
> Alex's mom is changing so quickly.
Curious, I pressed him a little as to what he meant, and got this:
> That she is so accepting of the changing circumstance
> as Alex's dad is still laying back somewhat. Example for
> sleeping arrangements it is she who actively promotes
> alex sleeping with the women.
Yes, Linda (Alex and Cate's mother) is very accepting of everything, though that's true for both of his parents. Since his father is more likely to speak up, though, you tend to question how he puts up with it more than she does, though. At first it was just that they only had 2 hotel rooms and they trusted their kids somewhat, but it kind of drifted from there. They might have thought about pulling Cate into their room, but you know how teenagers get when you try to put down arbitrary rules, you're likely to get a major fight. Especially when you consider how close both Cate and Alex are. The parents are kind of hoping each kid will help keep the other in line. Everyone is in an odd situation and doesn't really know how to take it, so they are relying on Alex, whose nervousness and caution seem to be well advised. Frankly, from Frank and Linda's perspectives, they have no experience in dealing with the kinds of issues that Alex is facing right now.
Sometimes, when someone doesn't get a particular point, all you need to do is just rephrase it in slightly different language. There was a follow up to the above response, which stated:
The way I would have dealt with the parents would be the same way
> I think mine would have responded to me getting a girl pregnant at 17.
> They would sit me down and discuss the responsibility I had just
> undertaken and start forcing me to recognize the reality of what the
> situation meant for my life (how was I going to pay for this, could I still
> go to college, would I be marrying her, would we live together or
> separately and where would she live and where would I live) My parents
> raised me with the philosophy of raisin their kids so that "at 18 you are
> qualified to move out and make your own decisions, we are happy to give
> you any advice you ask for(and some you don't)". I don't believe that any
> good parents would figuratively throw up their hands and say "you're our
> seventeen year old son, do whatever you think is right we're going to stay
> silent becasue we don't understand whats going on any better than you do."
>
> I believe from what information is provided in the story that they appear to
> be good parents and have done a good job raising their son and his sisters.
> Good parents will always try to help their kids when that have a problem
> even if they don't have any better idea of what to do they do have much
> more life experiences to draw on for ideas at least. That's what I've come
> up with so far at least.
Now that got me thinking, whereas the previous one just generated more of a knee-jerk reaction. You're right, I could have easily added a segment where the parents both sit everyone down and go over how they see things moving (although I actually did include a similar one with the girls). However, that seems to have escaped me somehow. You'll also notice how Alex keeps talking, (like in Chapters 7 & 8 when he's going to rescue Anh), that his father taught him to assume responsibility for himself. I hope that sentiment carried over my own lapses.
Actually, thinking about it, I'm not quite sure where I could have easily fit it in. The parents were both in too much shock in Chapter 2 when they were first confronted with not just Natalie, but Shani as well. Then, new girls kept rolling in. Just as they started getting used to a new reality, someone else would show up. I'll have to think about it a bit. A decent discussion along those lines would head off a lot of complaints about not understanding the parents characters, I just have to figure out how to wrap it all into the story.
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After even MORE thought, I had to reconsider it again. The comment has me thinking about how to approach it. If I put in an initial conversation, say around chapter 2 or 3, then it's going to have to include the standard "don't disappoint me", at which point I'll have to include the whole guilt considerations along with everything else that Alex is wrestling with. Then, I'd have to add a "We've reconsidered, and we think you should..." conversation, where Frank tells Alex to relax a bit. True, nothing much happens until chapters 7 and 8, anyway, but that adds quite a bit of additional segments and follow up scenes, as well as further darkens Alex's already bleak viewpoint. Then there's the accompanying discussions/reactions on Cate's part as well, as well as with everyone else. No wonder I avoided the entire issue before.
Hmmm, this is going to take some planning....
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Anyway, I'll think up a solution and I'll post the changes to the story I add here. After all, I don't expect you all to have to reread the whole story to appreciate any changes I may add. That way I can get some immediate feedback about it as well. Though this may NOT make it make it into the new story blog on the website.
OK, it took me a while to get it worked out (I've been having trouble getting over a couple of difficult chapters I've been working on for the last week). But now I think I've got it. Check out the following text, which takes place after everyone leaves the hotel and are on their way to the French Quarter for the day in Chapter 3:
With that, we all set off. [After walking a short distance while their
minds were obviously working overtime, Dad cornered both Cate and I
for a short discussion.
"Alex, I think your mother and I need to say a couple of things about
this. You're only few short months shy of being a legal adult. I think
you need to consider how you are going to approach this. Your mother
and I could simply take control and determine what you can and can't
do, but I don't think that would be either fair or appropriate. I
suspect the decisions you make concerning this will impact the rest of
your life, as well as affecting a fair number of individuals, as these
people seem to be drawn to you and will need to be handled carefully.
"As a result, we're not going to dictate how you deal with them. We'll
leave that up to you, since you are the one ultimately responsible for
all these people and what happens to them. I realize it's a lot of
responsibility to dump on your shoulders all of a sudden, but I think
it's necessary as you've somehow been elected by fate or God for this
position.
"Now, if you need any assistance or help, both your mother and I will
be glad to help out, steer you in the right direction or offer
assistance and advice, but other than that, we'll leave it up to you.
Just think about the implied responsibilities when you deal with each
of these women. They seem to be depending on you for an awful lot."
I nodded, acknowledging my father's excellent points, as well as
agreeing to his assigning the responsibility squarely on my shoulders.
I'd already assumed as much, which is why this all scared me so much.
Next he turned to Cate, while Mom looked on over his shoulder.
"Cate, you've clearly taken on a supervisory role in whatever is going
on. I appreciate that and I'm sure your brother will appreciate it, as
he'll need all the advice he can get. Frankly, neither your mother nor
I have the slightest clue what might be going on, but you seem to have
a good approximation of what's going on. Just keep in mind that Alex
and everyone that approaches him from here on out, are depending on
your good judgment. Now we're not going to decide how you should
approach this, we're not even going to determine when and where Alex
meets with these women he's attracting, but I want to make sure that
you realize he needs room to make his own decisions as well. Is that
all understood?"
"Yeah, Dad, thanks for the vote of confidence. I'm not about to let
Alex down now that he needs my assistance so much. I'll be careful how
we both approach this. I don't think you need to worry about Alex
either, he's certainly pretty cautious in his approach. We'll make you
proud of our choices."
"Very good," our father concluded. "Now let's get moving, we
apparently have several anxious young women awaiting," he said,
smiling at us in a teasing mood.]
OK, here's another common question I get: When is Alex going to make love to Cate and give her some amazing abilities?
There's lots of variations on it, and I'm not opposed to such speculation, after all, guessing about the directions a story is going to take is half the fun of getting there. But I just wanted to emphasis the direction that this book is taking.
Part of the emphasis of this book, it was the whole point of the Prologue, after all, is that Alex has no control over who he 'anoints' and who he doesn't. The fact that someone arrived near him only a few moments too late to have her world opened up for her is part of the same point. It's all random.
There are 3 groups that Alex has to deal with. There are those who pop up in front of him and have a fit, those are the ones who become "his girls". Next there are the "watchers", who can sense his power, but don't understand it and don't have the necessary physiology to capitalize on it. Then there's the so-called "normal" people who chose to follow him.
Book 1 focuses almost exclusively on the first group, simply because they demand Alex's immediate attention. In Book 2, Alex tries to regain his previous life, even if only temporarily, and so he deals largely with the third group. But, he also realizes that part of his unidentified mission is to reach out to both those he gives these visions to and the watchers.
Cate, unless someone discovers something we haven't known about yet, doesn't fit into the first two categories. She's never "felt" his power, she's never jerked back after looking into his eyes. Simply having sex, while fun for both her and the reader, isn't likely to give her those abilities. That isn't to say that something won't develop between them (personally I won't spoil the story by telling you either yes or no at this point). It's just saying that her story isn't one of "his women", those that share their own visions. ALEX doesn't even fit in amongst them, since he doesn't share in any of their abilities either!
So far Cate's main role has been to try to figure out exactly who makes up these two groups. Her theories may be crude and problematic, but they at least give Alex some idea of what's going on, and he needs that and Cate's assistance as well, thereby putting her at the very top of the third category.
Hope this helps you fit the whole story into a few neat little packages.
Oh, before I forget, a few of these points may be merely mistaken beliefs... ;D
Note: There might be some spoilers in the following discussion.
Got a fascinating response from one reader, who thought that the latest chapter (13) was too far out of character for Alex. He draw an amazingly detailed analysis of the story where he compared Alex to Odysseus, pointing out that both were reluctant heroes, quick to speak highly of others but very self depreciating. I'd love to include his analysis here, but I know extremely long Blog entries don't read well.
"Looking back on all of the individuals brought in, Cate is the inductor whereas Alex is the rejector. Cate's natural response to unusual events is to be curious. By contrast, Alex's normal response to unusual events is to withdraw or reject. As a reader, I've noticed that Alex is consistently cautious and wary, reluctant to start on this new path, and prone to give praise to others than to ascribe it to himself. He is a classic Odysseus-type--the reluctant hero."
He thought, in the absence of Cate's prompting, that Alex should further retreat, rather than embrace yet another new follower, as well as confront a newspaper editor, putting him in the firing line of publicity.
That's what I LOVE about this, getting those kinds of responses that really make you think about what you've created differently!
My response, however, is, as you may expect, a bit different.
Alex has been reacting to most of what's been happening so far. He hasn't yet had a chance to deal with any of it (as of chapter 13, it's still only Wednesday, which is only the fifth day). He's been slow to come around. But he's slowly adapting. At first he thought he was completely undeserving of what was happening and didn't want to change his life. Then Anh called on him and he decided he owed it to her to take care of her. Then he had to concede that, if he did it for one then he needed to do it for Shani as well.
Soon he'd assumed responsibility, not only for ALL of his women, but also for any others who might show up in the future. He's slowly gaining confidence as a result of the constant feedback from his women. He just realized, at the beginning of the chapter, that he's taken over the role his father used to hold. Everyone now defers to his judgment, even his own parents.
He lashed out at the newspaper editorialist in defense, largely because he saw himself defending those around him (though, to be honest, I'm not sure I represented it that way). When the people accosted him in the street, he responded by trying to protect the family from their incursion. Except when he realized a guy was a serious member of the Watcher community. In that case he included him largely because he represented a major question of the whole premise they'd been operating under. Maybe it was uncharacteristic, but it was understandable.
Part of what is taking place is Alex's gradual adjustment. Book 1 is mostly just his reactions to a series of unbelievable things being thrust upon him. Book 2 shows him slowly accepting them as his own. He continues to be resistant, but he grows in confidence enough to stand on his own and become more proactive. This is, especially this close to the end of Book 1, the beginning of his change, from the one to the other.
I hope this isn't seen as being too outside of Alex's established character, but I see it as a natural progression for him. It will certainly take him in some interesting directions (so says he who knows where he is heading ;D ).
As always, I love hearing people's reactions. If you either agree or disagree with this, let me know. If you have any other detailed analysis of the story, PLEASE, share it with all of us!
About Cate, Alex and Lesbo Sex:
All right. I've gotten a BUNCH of mail about chapter 13, a lot of it good, but only one complained about the surprising revelation about Cate. However, I think I noticed a clue about the reader's reactions in the sudden drop in the story's ratings. Since I had so many votes, it must have a few lower votes to drop that many points, but otherwise no one really said anything.
The one person who complained about not being able to see Cate and Alex getting together also pointed out the semi-gay reference might have had an effect as well.
Just to let you know, it wasn't done as a "tease". I've always disliked stories that play you along then suddenly pull the rug out from under you. I'm also aware I initially posted a vague (inc) tag.
However, the incest tag was always meant as a warning that it was a consistent theme, not a promise of what may occur. Also, I didn't plan on this particular turn of events. When I wrote it, I got into the scene with Cate and Alex and, as I noted in a previous blog entry, the characters all got up and walked out. One of the conditions they made me promise to, in order to get them to return, (other than giving up on Alex not having intercourse until he "first love") was that Cate was "off limits"!
Believe me, I was as disappointed as the rest of you. But I had to admit, it all oddly fit together. Without trying to spoil the future story, this doesn't end Cate and Alex's "relationship". True, it effectively ends the teasing between them for the rest of Book 1, but they'll manage to return to where they were eventually, though with a slightly different twist.
As for the gay sex reference, I thought it was necessary, since ALL the other women had volunteer, enthusiastically volunteered, to have sex with him. The fact that a straight man would volunteer just shows how seriously they all feel about it!
However, I also have felt, for a long time, that, although SOL readers typically reject a story with ANY gay sex content, it's a writer's responsibility to show that gay characters are people too. No, there won't be any gay sex in this story (well, maybe a little semi-lesbian sex), there WILL be gay characters in Book 2. That provides the opportunity for Alex to discuss the topic. There won't be ANY graphic descriptions, but it allows Alex to get a better view of life, allowing him to grow up just a bit more.
So don't panic, the playful relationship between Cate and Alex doesn't end (whether or not you happen to like Cate). It changes, but it resumes in Book 2.
Anyway, enough of the story spoilers.
Well, I hope everyone enjoys this chapter (#15). It helps put Cate's behavior in perspective. I added it once the discussion about Cate first started, then added the girl's rebuke of Cate once it began heating up.
I have no idea whether anyone's view of Cate will be improved by this chapter or not, but I like to think she'll become more understandable as a character. She's really in a difficult position, seeing everyone else taking a piece of Alex's exciting new life and being unable to do so herself. Seeing everyone share his abilities and not being able to feel any of it herself. She's been this close to this tremendous resource all this time, but she's never recognized it for what it was.
This chapter certainly doesn't resolve the recent conflict between Cate and Alex, but it does ease it a bit, and it allows Cate to put it into perspective. That was what I was looking for at this point. Book 1 ends in another chapter, and I wanted to clean up the various loose ends. This was as close as I could clean up Cate and Alex's loose ends.
The business with the new 'watcher council' was similar. It takes care of the various people Alex hadn't gotten to yet in New Orleans, assuring that they aren't forgotten. Alex can watch over them, despite not being there, and without his having to constantly worry about them. Another loose end cleaned up.
Brooke's children, specificy Suzy, also raises further questions about how these abilities are passed genetically in families. Expect more questions to continue.
But don't think I'm going to clean everything up. There are still LOTS of questions. Like how Cate's neat theories all seem to be unwrapping. Both Peter and David throw a monkey wrench into Cate's theories, making Anh's off the way ideas seem much more reasonable.
Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed the adventure. If you have any particular feelings about Cate, drop me a note. I'd be glad to hear them and especially whether this chapter made a difference in how you perceive Cate or not.
Well, that's it. Alex's adventures, at least in New Orleans, are now officially over.
I hope you've enjoyed this rambling, often disjointed tale. The story was frequently confusing, frustrating and annoying, but those were all the types of things that Alex was feeling, so I tried to convey those in the story.
Book 2 continues on the same posting schedule I've been keeping, so you should see it next week. Just be aware that, usually when you post a new story, it appears in the "New Stories" category and NOT on the "Continuing Series" category, so you may miss the initial episode.
Also, I'm going to try something new in Book 2, in that I'm posting a "Character Table". I don't expect anyone to actually read it, but it'll be there if you ever lose track of who is who in the story. Hopefully I'll write it well enough so it won't be necessary, but I've found when I've read other long series that I frequently desire such a tool, so I've decided to offer one here.
Since I'm converting this from a single story into a series you'll notice a name change, so that'll probably screw up any bookmarks you may have. The overall series will be called "The Catalyst", whereas this story, Book 1, will be called "An Awkward Awakening" and Book 2 will be called "Trying To Be Normal".
Book 2 not only signifies a change in locale, but a whole new emphasis in the story. Book 1 was all about Alex reacting to the events occurring to him. In book 2 he'll start recovering and finally begin coming into his own. I hope that doesn't upset anyone, but I suspect you've all grown tired of him continually complaining by now anyway.
Anyway, I hope to see you back here next week.
Note: Oh, btw, I also plan to erase all the existing Blog entries, in order to start with a fresh slate. I figure there is already too many to manage very well, so I figure it's a good idea. So if you want to reference any, now is the time to do it!