Celestial Reviews 252 - January 24, 1998

Note: Since I'm a teacher, I figure I oughta give you a test once in a 
while:

1.   The clitoris is a type of flower.   True or False

2.   A pubic hair is a wild rabbit.  True or False

3.   Spread Eagle is an extinct bird.  True or False

4.   Vagina is a medical term used to describe a Heart Attack.
True or False

5.   A menstrual cycle has three wheels.  True or False

6.   A G-string is part of a fiddle.  True or False

7.   Semen is a term for sailors.  True or False

8.   Anus is a Latin term for yearly.  True or False

9.   Testicles are found on an Octopus.  True or False

10.  Asphalt describes rectal problems.  True or False

11.  KOTEX is a radio station in Cincinnati.  True or False

12.  Masturbate is used to catch large fish. True or False

13.  Coitus is a musical instrument.  True or False

14.  Fetus is a character on Gunsmoke.  True or False

15.  An umbilical chord is part of a parachute.  True or False

16.  A condom is a large apartment complex.   True or False

17.  An orgasm is a person who accompanies a church choir.  True
or False

18.  A diaphragm is a drawing in geometry.   True or False

19.  A dildo is a variety of sweet pickle.  True or False

20.  An erection is when Japanese people vote.  True or False

21.  A lesbian is a person from the Middle East.   True or False

22.  Sodomy is a special land of fast growing grass.  True or
False

23.  Pornography is the business of making records.  True or
False

24.  Genitals are people of non-Jewish origin.  True or False

25.  Douche is the French word for "twelve".    True or False

Second note:  I have downloaded from a.s.s. a story called "Bronze 
Lust."  It's apparently a parody on or at least related to the "Doc 
Savage" stories, which are immensely popular among some American men.  I 
have never read a "Doc Savage" story in my life, and so I probably would 
not do this one justice.  If there is a Doc Savage fan among my guest 
reviewers - or anyone else for that matter - who is willing to review 
this lengthy story, please contact me.  My impression is that it looks 
like a well-written story.

Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews 
for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.

- Celeste

      "House of Joy" by Emerson Laken-Palmer (consensual
            kiddy sex) 9, 8, 7
      "There and Not Back Again" by Andrew Roller (sci fi sex) 
            10, 8, 8
      "Chinese Fortune Nookie" by Saucy Wench (eating Chinese)
            10, 9, 9
      "Fortunata" by Lord Malinov (sexual rendezvous) 10, 10, 10
      "Somewhere on the Circle of Life" by Tooshoes (magic & 
            superhero sex) 10, 10, 10
      "(p)Your Erotica" by SandMan (passionate love scene) 9.5, 8, 5
      "Please Watch the Closing Doors" by Taria (quickie) 10, 10, 10
      "ekiN" by Morgan Preece (sexual fantasy on train) 10, 10, 10
      "Departure" by Marsupalami (mythological sex) 9, 9, 9

Guest Reviews: 

      "Drusilla Goes To College" by Unknown Author (superhero sex) 
            7, 7, 7
      "Dawn" by HWG (loving they neighbor) 6, 6, 5
      "The Bandit" by Metlay (slice of life) 10, 10, 10
      "Owned Teacher, Chapters 1 - 23" by Thumb (sadistic control 
            of teacher) 8, 8, 9
      "The Naughty Good Girl" by Cliff X. (simple mf sex) 10, 8, 8

Reposted Reviews:

    * "I Promise" by Tom Bombadil (romance) 10, 9, 10
    * "Appleseed" by Wollstonecraft (forced seduction) 10, 10, 10
    * "Red Hot" by SueNH (orgy) 9.5, 10, 10

* = Repost of previous review (because the story has recently been
      reposted)

"House of Joy" by Emerson Laken-Palmer (Sxjames@aol.com).  This is 
an amazing coincidence.  I once had a classmate named Ishmael who 
claimed to have been blown away with a false sense of deja-vu when 
he read the first lines of Moby Dick.  Now I know how he felt.  
The first sentence of this story is: "It was in 1984 that I 
visited New Orleans."  It was also in 1984 that I myself first 
visited New Orleans.  Several times my husband and I arose early 
in the morning and took the ferry to the other side of the river 
and jogged along the river.  Before I stop digressing, I should 
mention that the best novel ever set in New Orleans is John 
Kennedy Toole's "Confederacy of Dunces."

The narrator's experience with New Orleans is different than mine.  
He's there on a business trip, and his client offers him a job.  
To induce him to accept, the client takes him to the House of Joy.  
He is assigned to a very elegant bedroom with gold filigreed red 
wallpaper and gold drapes.  I have read almost 2500 stories on 
this newsgroup, and this is the first time anyone has had sex in 
an elegant bedroom with gold filigreed red wallpaper and gold 
drapes. What amazed me is that my spellcheck didn't even balk at 
that sentence. 

Mike thinks his hostess is much too young and far too pretty to 
fuck.  Well, not quite.... The hostess, whose name is Deanie, 
starts giving him the fuck of his life, but then she stops midway 
and brings into the room two very young girls (12 and 13) for his 
pleasure.  Mike objects; his eight-incher dwindles to normalcy; 
but Deanie explains that the girls have been trained.

The girls have brought out Mike's irrational, puritanical side - 
sometimes referred to as "conscience" or "social responsibility." 
The little girls are distraught at Mike's reluctance to have sex 
with them.  They're amazingly sexy and well-adjusted.  Perhaps 
NASA should be recruiting rocket scientists in a house in New 
Orleans.  Such places have been the ruin of many a fine boy.... 
The girls quickly show Mike that young girls are the best girls. 
They taste lemony and salty.

You may think that full-penetration sex with a 12-year-old is 
repulsive.  Duh!  The author knows that, of course; the 12-year-
old is trained only as a suckling.  It's only the 13-year-old who 
takes penises in the vagina.

The sex is well presented - if you're not completely repulsed by 
it.  Had I not decided to review it, I would not have read this 
story.  Having read it, however, I have to admit that it had a 
certain fascination for me.  It's perfectly OK with me to punish 
people who would actually use little girls in this way in real 
life. Heck, it's OK with me to castrate them without anesthesia or 
run over them with steamrollers or make them slide naked down a 
razor-blade banister into a tub of iodine while someone reads 
Milton's poetry to them.  However, as a piece of fiction, the 
story presented me with an interesting combination of fascination 
and repugnance.

Ratings for "House of Joy"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7

"There and Not Back Again" by Andrew Roller.  This is a really 
complex story.  The narrator is involved in some sort of time 
travel or reincarnation based on a mind meld into a computer.  
It's too complicated to try to explain here.

The main part of the story focuses on the narrator being in the 
body of a 16-year-old girl who answers an ad in a swinger's 
magazine and gets into sex way over her head.  The sex is graphic, 
but it's really more jaded than erotic.

True sci fi sex fans might see something here that I missed, but I 
couldn't help getting the impression that I was really reading two 
stories - one about science fiction and one about teenage bdsm - 
and that the two stories didn't really connect as well as the 
author wanted them to.

When I was a high school student I read some Ray Bradbury stories 
that I couldn't understand, and I "knew" that this was because I 
wasn't smart enough to understand them.  Heck, I told myself, they 
MUST be good stories, because they're in the darned anthology and 
I have to pass a test on them!  I felt somewhat the same way with 
this story.  I suspected that there was something here that I 
should have picked up, but I'll be damned if I know what it is....

Ratings for "There and Not Back Again"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8

"Chinese Fortune Nookie" by Saucy Wench (wenchsaucy@aol.com).  The Wench 
is on a dinner date; but while her date makes small talk and flirts with 
her, her own eyes are on the Chinese waitress.  Her fortune cookie read, 
"Now is the time to try something new." This leads to the nookie 
mentioned in the title.

Actually, the festivities don't actually begin until a few weeks later, 
after the wench and the waitress have showered together at the fitness 
center.  Their first embrace comes in the sauna. Then the wildly wicked 
waitress fists the wet and wanton wench in a toilet stall.  Then the 
wench takes the waitress back to her condo, shaves her, and eats Chinese 
<wink>.  After playing with some sextoys, they go dancing without 
panties.

It's pretty hot stuff!

Ratings for "Chinese Fortune Nookie"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

"(p)Your Erotica" by SandMan (sandman@bitsmart.com).  When I grade 
student papers, I usually try not to look at the students' names.  
Occasionally (very rarely, but occasionally), I'll give a C to a 
paper and then note that it was written by one of the best 
students in the class.  At that point, I may say to myself, "Maybe 
I missed something!" and I'll go back over the story.  Sometimes 
I'll see the story in a different perspective and change the 
grade; sometimes I won't.  I suppose I shouldn't do this, because 
in a sense I am screwing the weaker students who don't get a 
second chance; but I think it's human nature to do this.

Anyway, when I read this story, I thought it was weak.  Then I 
noticed that it was by an author who had posted several really 
good stories recently.  So I assumed maybe I was wrong, and I 
looked more closely.  It still didn't move me.

As the disclaimer says, this story is a long, passionate sex 
scene.  As I re-examined the story, I found that it was indeed 
long and passionate and about sex.  All the components were there.  
I'm convinced that the entire problem in this story - a very 
serious problem - is the author's point of view.  

What we have here is a second/third person narrative.  This 
you/her perspective presented me as a reader with some real 
problems.  

Somebody is narrating the story.  That person would often be 
referred to as "I" in a story like this.  I would find that 
irritating, but tolerable.  In this story, however, "I" never 
appears, except implicitly as the teller of the story.

The "you" in this story is a man - a very nice and tender man, I 
might add.

The "she/her" is a woman - the beneficiary of the things done by 
"you."

This is going to be difficult to express, but here goes.  If you, 
I, and she were all real people, this format would work. Even if 
only two of them were real, it could work.  For example, if I 
(real Celeste) were telling this story to my husband (if "you" 
were my husband), then it would be easy for my husband to project 
himself into this imaginary setting.  However, once everybody 
becomes imaginary, the whole system falls apart.

In other words, when I (real Celeste) read this story, I have to 
remember that "you" is not me (a woman) but rather a man who is 
the one of the two co-protagonists of this story.  This sounds 
trivial; but in practice, it's not.  I suspect that this 
transposition of perspective may be a little easier for 
heterosexual male readers, but even they will have problems with 
this story.

As a story written by a woman for her lover or cyberlover, this 
might be a masterpiece.  The lover ("you") would read this as a 
nice fantasy about love with another woman.  In fact, if I were a 
betting person, I would bet that this story was not written by a 
male named SandMan, but rather by a female who wrote it to 
SandMan.  SandMan may have edited it and dressed it up a little; 
but had he written it himself, I think he would have noticed the 
problems with the perspective.

What it amounts to is that authors have a responsibility to 
consider their audiences.  A woman writing for a cyberlover, for 
example, has one audience.  When that audience (the cyberlover) 
receives the story and says, "Hot damn, this is good!  Let's 
publish it!", it is necessary to consider that the audience will 
be different.  It is simply not sensible to expect to get the same 
result from a different audience with a story like this.

I hope this information is helpful.  This point-of-view problem is 
not unique with this story: a large number of authors have the 
same problem.  This story simply provides a very clear example of 
how the point-of-view can interfere with the storyline.  

Ratings for "(p)Your Erotica"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5

"Fortunata" by Lord Malinov (malinov@mindless.com).  The story 
begins with an obviously distraught woman getting into her car, 
muttering incoherently about what someone has done to her.  What 
the hell is the matter with this woman, I wondered as I continued 
to read the story.  Then things gradually became clearer and came 
to a focus just as she arrived at a parking lot, where she entered 
an apartment for a rendezvous with her lover.

I don't want to ruin the story for you.  Maybe there's a clue in 
the final line of the story: "Milk," she said quietly.  "I should 
probably pick up some milk for dinner." Then again, maybe not.

Ratings for "Fortunata"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Somewhere on the Circle of Life" by Tooshoes (tooshoes@cris.com).  
Zatanna is a witch.  If you type her name on a word processor, 
your spellcheck will suggest Satan as a replacement.  Really.  If 
your spellcheck does not make this suggestion, you need an 
upgrade.

Zatanna lives in Salem, where most modern witches live.

Linda Lee is Supergirl.  Not the shapeshifter who appears in some 
stories with Supergirl in the titles, but the comely lass who came 
from the same planet as Clark Kent and who has been seeking her 
identity ever since while working as an exotic dancer and 
superhero.  As previous stories by Tooshoes have revealed, Linda 
Lee has a major concern with the sluttishness that occasionally 
tries to leap to the forefront of her personality.  In the first 
quarter of this story we get vague details about an incident on a 
football field, where Linda shed her clothes and her reputation in 
front of national media cameras.  Now she has withdrawn from 
public view and is trying again to find herself.  She is traveling 
incognito under the name Linda Danvers with her cat Calvin, 
looking more like an English teacher than a sex goddess - a simile 
that missed its mark completely, as far as I am concerned.

So Zatanna and Linda Lee meet in Salem, where they are joined by a 
mysterious vampire.  I'll skip some details now and simply say 
that the climax comes during a total eclipse of the sun and 
involves Superman.

Magic is something I have trouble understanding, because the rules 
keep changing.  Superman I think I understand: his rules evolve 
more gradually.  Exactly how or why Supergirl can save the world 
by having a roaring orgasm during a solar eclipse eludes my grasp 
- but maybe the notion is supposed to be a bit obscure.  In fact, 
the whole story is confusing, but in a very nice way.

Ratings for "Somewhere on the Circle of Life"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Please Watch the Closing Doors" by Taria (tariat@aol.com).  While 
riding public transportation, the woman studies a Chinese teenager 
across the aisle from her.  The next thing we know she is getting 
off the train, giving him instructions to follow her.  He obeys.  
She has no real plan, but she ad-libs well.  She takes him into 
the recently-renovated Public Library.  She finds an empty 
handicapped stall in the restroom.  Then she teaches him what it's 
like to be with a real woman.  It's the adolescent fantasy of the 
stranger who comes out of nowhere to fuck a kid into oblivion.

I don't recommend doing this.  Parking in handicapped parking 
areas is bad enough, but fucking in handicapped stalls may be 
going a bit too far.

This is an extremely good story.  The author apparently composed 
it while she was bored during a ride on the train earlier this 
week.  I can't wait till she goes to church this weekend.  I hope 
it's a boring sermon.

Ratings for "Please Watch the Closing Doors"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"ekiN" by Morgan Preece (morganpreece@anon.nymserver.com).  Since 
you may be wondering, I'll tell you that "ekiN" is "Nike" spelled 
backwards.  As in "Just DO It" - the athletic clothing company.  
It's spelled backwards because the narrator first reads it in a 
mirror.  I nodded sagely when the author explained this.  I had 
already figured that part out.

This story is very much like the previous one.  It's sort of 
inspiring to know that thousands of a.s.s. readers are riding 
public transportation, developing plots for short stories about 
the people they see on public transportation.  I imagine if you 
are the Chief Executive of a major industrialized nation you 
should refrain from such fantasies, or at least keep them very 
private until the end of your term in office.

In this story the mysterious male at whom the narrator has stared 
emerges from oblivion and speaks to her.  The actual sex content 
is low - all he does is tell her she's beautiful; but the innuendo 
level is very high.

This is a very short but very good story.

Ratings for "ekiN"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Departure" by Marsupalami (ladyzak@celticfire.com).  This story 
is loosely based on Nordic mythology.  The hero is sort of a non-
Greek Hercules, I suppose.  What we have here is the hero's last 
fuck with his woman before he goes forth on the sacred quest which 
will give meaning to his life.

The sex is just a bit slow, but Nordic legends are that way.  If 
you don't believe me, take a look a Beowulf someday.  Those people 
could neither drink wine nor slay a dragon without lengthy 
speeches.

I have seen other stories posted with similar titles, and I assume 
they are other chapters in Sigurd's adventures.

Ratings for "Departure"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

"Drusilla Goes To College" by Unknown Author. Guest review by Tooshoes.

The proud, responsible Diana (Wonder Woman) has an impetuous younger 
sister named Drusilla (Wonder Girl). Ever since the two super-heroines 
left Paradise Island, Diana has been looking out for her younger sister. 
You know, keeping Drusilla from making decisions and having any fun -- 
especially the kind that involves sex. So Drusilla is good and curious 
when she escapes from under Diana's wing and enrolls in college.

This story started out very well, and I was looking forward to her 
adventures in the collegiate world. But I was disappointed with the 
direction the story took.

The first sexual prospect Drusilla meets is a predatory upperclassman 
who had always fantasized about having Wonder Girl chained, gagged and 
dominated. And of course, that's exactly what happens in short order, 
once he has Drusilla trapped in her own magic lasso. His fantasies of 
rape, bondage and S&M come true.

By this point, the story had strayed far from it's original theme about 
Drusilla's new life in college, and then it ended without any kind of 
resolution or conclusion.

All in all, a mixed bag, but fairly entertaining.

Ratings for "Drusilla Goes To College"
Technical quality: 7
Plot & character: 7
Appeal to reviewer: 7

"Dawn" by HWG (hrdwrkngy@aol.com).  Guest review by Dart.

A young man notices a beautiful young woman in a local park during lunch 
hour. Later that afternoon, he discovers that the same young lady is 
moving into the apartment building across the street from his. They meet 
that same afternoon when she asks him if he knows the phone number of 
the local utility company, and he looks it up for her. She offers him a 
drink; he offers to help her unpack. They get to know each other. 
However, despite the sexual tension between them, nothing sexual occurs 
the day of their first meeting.

The next morning our hero has an unexplained hangover, but, despite that 
impediment, lust for his new neighbor motivates him to clean his 
apartment. During the course of the day, their paths cross several 
times, but it isn't until the evening that they settle down for the good 
stuff. They begin with oral attentions, his and hers, and then they 
dance the horizontal mambo.

This is the first story by a new author, and I wish I could say that I 
really liked it; but I can't. It was, I think, hastily composed. Both of 
the story's characters are thin. The plot is reasonable, but it manages 
several twists that distracted me from the story's flow and left me 
puzzled.

Ratings for "Dawn"
Athena (technical quality): 6
Venus (plot & character): 6
Dart (appeal to reviewer): 5

"The Bandit" by Metlay (posted by Bookman Archives). Guest review by 
Piper

In Western civilized cultures, there is a place separate from the so-
called real world; a place where young and old meet, where learning from 
books and learning of life mix, where ideas and ideals are sometimes 
more important than the people who hold them. We call these places 
universities.

The Bandit is a student in a place called Arcadia. This story covers the 
last year and a half or so of his academic life. We don't learn much 
about his studying or courses, though of course such things must take 
place (there's only a few minor mentions of these matters). Instead, we 
read about him, his friends and acquaintances, their shifting 
relationships, and the slow unveiling of their inner personalities.

The Bandit is an intelligent young man with a libido that won't quit 
(like many young men), but with a problem -- an inner voice that tells 
him about right and wrong, and why he shouldn't do certain things that 
seem like good ideas at the time. Think of Hawkeye from TV's _Mash_, 
with less joking, but with a fair flair for music, especially bass 
guitar. Women and sex do not occupy his every waking moment. He's got a 
real life.

Some of the other folks involved are: Zero, the skinny, easygoing guy 
with the oversized shlong, who makes the girls crazy with lust; Mary 
Magdalene, the slightly oversized sexpot with a killer kiss and an 
absolutely over-the-top thing for The Rainbow Wizard, a cancer survivor 
who turned a mystic bent, all to hide his mind games and manipulations; 
Diva, another somewhat oversexed lady looking for a not-totally-
meaningful relationship; Twink, who is honest, forthright, wears her 
heart on her sleeve, but is so painfully naive it hurts, and who 
eventually learns to share her boyfriend with one girl, her fiance with 
another girl, and herself with yet another girl (all at the same time!); 
Conan, the musclebound nice guy who hasn't got a clue as to what he's 
really all about.

And there's still Starch, Lanky, Flower, Livewire ...

While I read the story, I slowly came to the realization that all of the 
protagonists were distilled essences of character types. What made them 
live for me were the real situations and their believable reactions. I 
could see people I know doing the same things, but maybe not for the 
same reasons. Like an onion (a very over-used metaphor, I know), there 
is layer upon layer of misdirection and misunderstanding.

Look below the surface in this story. It won't grip you by the gonads, 
despite the fair sprinkling of sex, but it will, eventually, take over 
your mind, infesting you with thoughts about the characters themselves.  
Whoever the author is, he (or she) wrote a very intelligent, imaginative 
slice of life.

(My personal favorite character is Twink, but I don't think she'd settle 
for me. I'm probably a bit too much of the one-man-one-woman kind of guy 
for her.)

This is another long (275k) story.

Ratings for "The Bandit"
      Technical merit    10
      Plot and character 10
      Appeal to reviewer 10

"Owned Teacher, Chapters 1 - 23" by Thumb (thumb@nauticom.net).  Guest 
review by Kim.

This will teach me to shoot my big mouth off. I mentioned I'd read these 
stories and found them arousing, so Celeste said "Well, review them 
then". I just know I'll regret this <sigh>. This is a long review, 
easily the longest one I've written. As they say, it's a long story...

First a warning. If you are the type who likes nothing but sweet, 
romantic heterosexual love between consenting adults, then this story is 
most assuredly *NOT* for you! It's about the semi-nonconsensual control 
of a thirty five year old English teacher, Mary, by one of her eighteen 
year old female students; the astonishingly sadistic Lisa.

Lisa confronts Mary with an old copy of Hustler magazine in which one of 
the women displaying her charms for the camera is a much younger Mary. 
Now married with a thirteen year old daughter Mary submits to the 
blackmailing Lisa, for fear of exposure. Lisa doesn't want any money 
from Mary. Oh no, she wants to satisfy her own sadistic desires by 
sexually humiliating Mary as much as is humanly possible. And at over 23 
chapters and till counting, boy does she relentlessly humiliate Mary.

She bans Mary from wearing any underwear, she shaves her pussy, she 
subjects her to protracted bouts of painful and humiliating bondage, she 
forces her to have sex with strangers, treats her like a pet and makes 
her beg for her own punishments and humiliations, and on and on it goes. 
Pretty much you name it, and Mary eventually gets forced to do it.

So, what is a reader, or even reviewer, to make of such a work? Well, on 
a purely technical level the writing is sparse, direct and pretty well 
done. In the earlier chapters, especially, there's a slight tendency for 
the tense to wander, and a strange habit of writing all numbers both as 
numbers and letters. But generally, the writing doesn't get in the way 
of the story telling. The characters are well defined, though somewhat 
motiveless. It could be argued that Mary doesn't need any sort of 
explanation for her apparent submissiveness. She allows herself to be 
used like this because it gets her horny as hell. She *wants* this to 
happen to her. Lisa, on the other hand is more mysterious. She does come 
from a disgracefully dysfunctional family, that we get to meet rather 
unpleasantly in one or two of the chapters, but she just keeps on being 
horrible without ever seeming to enjoy it all that much.

I'm probably reading far too much into all this, and Thumb just wrote it 
because it presses buttons for him <shrug>. Going back to reread this 
work I can see that sitting down and trying to read it all together 
actually plays against it. It becomes too repetitious, if not in detail, 
then certainly in intent. I think Thumb has been clever, or lucky, in 
releasing the work over such a long period of time so as to not dull the 
senses. Little bursts of mayhem once a week or so keeps it fresh.

As a plot, well, we're talking so far the other side of unlikely that we 
might as well be discussing Alice in Wonderland. A pretty grotesque 
wonderland I'll grant you, but absolute fantasy never the less. Mary 
would have thrown Lisa out the door in the first chapter in real life, 
but hell, that would have been a pretty short story.

Now we come to the embarrassing bit. What do I think of it? My 
intellectual side is screaming at me to say it's horrible, nasty, 
misogynistic trash of the worst kind. Unfortunately this one series of 
stories has been responsible for at least six orgasms (I forget how many 
exactly, as it's been going for so long) as a direct result of reading 
the damn things and just having to masturbate afterwards. I don't care 
what anyone says, I find it deeply embarrassing that I should be so 
turned on by such a story. However, it would be dishonest and unfair of 
me to say otherwise.

There are elements that I find really offensive, such as the continued 
threat of involving Mary's thirteen year old daughter in the saga. 
Should that happen then I will stop reading I'm afraid. Everyone's got 
their limits after all. But on the whole it all works very well, 
providing you like FF humiliation stories, of course.

Ratings for "Owned Teacher"
Athena (technical quality): 8 (Typos and wandering tenses don't help)
Venus (plot & character): 8 (Unbelievable... in the cold light of day)
Kim (appeal to reviewer): 9 (Lost one for the more extreme moments; 
      sorry Thumb)

"The Naughty Good Girl" by Cliff X. Gdansk (reverendix@juno.com). Guest 
review by David Rills.

There is nothing new about the sex in this story but it is an enjoyable 
read.  It's told from the perspective of a "good girl" finishing her 
shower and heading out to pick up a man.  There are no twists in the 
plot but the author does a good job of describing the scene and then 
building to "climax".  If the story were longer I wouldn't recommend it 
but it's a good coffee break.

Ratings for "The Naughty Good Girl"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
David (appeal to reviewer): 8

* "I Promise" by Tom Bombadil (stbush@iglou.com).  This is a very 
difficult story for me to write a review about.  Especially in the 
case of a really good story, I like to summarize the plot without 
ruining its potential interest and also to discuss important ideas 
or techniques that may arise.  The problem with this story is that 
it depends very heavily and successfully on releasing ideas a few 
at a time; and so I can't tell you much about story without 
releasing those ideas and ruining the story for you.  
{Incidentally, this story is a good example of when NOT to use the 
alphabet soup abbreviations.  They would ruin the story by 
eliminating all surprise from the plot.}

I guess I can tell you that Chris and Di are an interracial (black 
and white) couple planning to get married shortly after Di 
graduates from high.  Not many people are exactly enthusiastic 
about the relationship; but Chris's family seems resigned to the 
idea that they will at least live together.  The two are deeply 
devoted to each other, engage in a lot of kissy-kissy, and look 
forward to having a family - although they are not sure their 
community will accept them.  My summary makes the story sound 
blah; but the details make it much more interesting as the plot 
unfolds.

I gave the story a 9 for "plot and character."  That's because the 
story frequently confused me, and I had to dock the author 
somewhere for this confusion.  The problem is that almost all of 
the story consists of dialogue, and I often had trouble figuring 
out who was talking and who was listening.  Sometimes even when I 
went back and checked from the beginning of a section I couldn't 
figure out whether an emotion being expressed belonged to Chris or 
to Di.  Some of this confusion, I discovered later, was deliberate 
- that is, things weren't what they seemed to be, and the author 
probably wanted me to feel that ambivalence.  The author wanted to 
keep me confused so that he could spring surprises on me; but some 
of the confusion was inappropriate.  The author tried to help by 
putting clues into the dialogue (e.g., if the speaker says 
"honeychile", that must be Chris); but some of these clues worked 
for me only in retrospect.  However, it's easier to point out this 
problem than to solve it.  I have to give the author credit for at 
least trying an interesting approach.  And it IS a very good 
story.

Ratings for "I Promise"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

* "Appleseed" by Wollstonecraft.  Joey is a rich guy who is a 
generally nasty bastard and whose attitude toward girls is not 
only to "lay 'em and leave 'em" but also to get 'em pregnant in 
the process.  This story describes how he routinely exploits 
teenage girls for this purpose.  The author's style is vivid, and 
he uses verb tenses in such a way as to convince us that while he 
is vividly describing a specific situation he is really describing 
Joey's typical behavior.

Actually, he's not really Joey; the guy makes up new names and new 
cover stories to suit his particular seductive needs.  He finds it 
especially easy and enjoyable to pick up religious girls at church 
activities; they're invariably extremely gullible.  The only 
constant is that he is an asshole who wants to get young girls 
pregnant.  He's even scientific about his process - in one case 
seducing a pair of identical twins and conducting a seductive 
experiment with them in a way that a Nazi genetic engineer might 
admire.

Nonconsensual seduction and rape are not funny in the real world.  
But this story is very well told and extremely enjoyable.  I can't 
tell you more details, because a major part of the enjoyment is 
watching the story unfold.  I strongly recommend this story.  

Ratings for "Appleseed" 
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

* "Red Hot" by Sue (suenh@kear.tdsnet.com).  This story has a 
build-up that is itself longer than most of the sex stories on 
this newsgroup.  By the time the real sex got started, I felt that 
I actually knew the participants.  

Sue serves as an art consultant to an elementary school.  She 
meets with the teachers and principal; and after school she finds 
it necessary to accompany John (the principal) and two of the 
teachers (Polly and Michael) to the married couple's house.  The 
chemistry starts to warm up when Michael shows Sue how to improve 
her technique at cutting zucchini - a vegetable I have never 
before seen mentioned on this newsgroup.  The others eventually 
discover that this person with them is THE SueNH from the most 
popular Newsgroup on Internet.  John has practically died and gone 
to heaven, because not only does he lurk on alt.sex.stories (which 
draws him to Sue), but he also is constantly on the alert for 
stories and pictures of red-heads (a disability which attracts him 
to Polly).  Fortunately, John is not also attracted to burly, 
male, Eastern European art teachers; and so the prospects for 
grouping and groping look good.

When someone suggests that Sue could write a story about their 
gathering, she disingenuously suggests that she needs more hints, 
and then the orgy ensues.  It turns out that red-haired Polly does 
not object in principle to making it with her principal when she 
lets her down, and Michael is especially interested in Sue now 
that he has learned that she is one of the three hottest women on 
alt.sex.stories.  It is only fitting that I end this pun-filled 
paragraph with Sue's own award-winning statement about Polly as 
she went to work on John: "Normally he was the principal. Tonight 
she was the headmistress."  And I was so damned pleased with my 
own humble pun about the orgy ensuing!

An interesting element of the story is that Sue several times 
mentions her own personal distaste for anal sex.  She likes to be 
rimmed, but objects up the ass tend to strike her as painful.  
{You know, it's really hard to write this paragraph without 
sounding like I'm making puns! But I'm trying to be serious here.}  
The effect is really interesting.  Sue is actually able to make 
the story more erotic by mentioning the kind of sex she is NOT 
having.

Ratings for "Red Hot"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

NEW FEATURE: <<<LETTERS TO CELESTE>>>

Dear Celeste:

Thanks for taking the time to post your story reviews - I enjoy them a 
lot. Since you review so many stories, I was wondering if you could help 
me  identify a story that was posted several months ago. It was written 
from a woman's point of view, and described a woman masturbating alone 
in her room while listening to her roommate and boyfriend having sex in 
the next room. It was very well written and very erotic, but 
unfortunately I lost it from my hard drive and I can't seem to find it 
in any archive. Any help you can provide would be  greatly appreciated. 
Thanks again. - The Snake Charmer.

Dear Snake Charmer:

Tough question.

Maybe it's Tom Bombadil's "An Unintentional Voyeur," which was posted 
back in June 1997.  Another near miss posted around the same time was 
"Listening to the Neighbors" by Renae Nicks.  It's definitely not the 
story you're looking for, but it may be even better.  "A Fly on the 
Wall" by P. D. Michael is about somebody masturbating in front of a 
blind woman; so that's not it, even though the review in CR 199 had a 
great joke related to that story.  The guy in Mark Bastable's "Auditor"  
listens to the Sarah and Lianne, the "S&M dykes" in the adjacent 
apartment; so that can't be it either.

I don't think any of the above is the story you want.  Maybe I didn't 
review it.  If you find the correct title, let me know.  Maybe one of my 
readers will recognize the plot and send us the answer. Meanwhile, 
consider reading a few of the wrong stories I described in the preceding 
paragraph, and enjoy your dance with the one-eyed sailor.

- Celeste

{If you have a question for me, please e-mail me at Celeste801@aol.com.  
I reserve the right to mutilate your letter in any way in order to 
enhance its instructional or entertainment value.}

