Celestial Reviews 129 - Oct 26, 1996

Note:  The story “First Love”, which I praised so highly in my review, 
is available from The BackDrop Club. Order it in two parts as 
"1stlovga.zip" and "1stlovgb.zip". The BackDrop Club  offers a service 
of helping people who are looking for a specific file, story, or a 
chapter or section of a story. If you are an adult and know the name of 
the file you wish to receive, send a request using the following 
format:

TO:       file.archives@backdrop.com
SUBJECT:  (the name of the file you wish as a single word)

I HAVE used this service myself, and it is my opinion that it is NOT a 
rip-off.  If you need more information, contact robin@backdrop.com.  
The BackDrop Club also has a Web Page at http://www.fantasies.com.

Second Note:  Because of the special Halloween issue, I have a 
temporary backlog of other stories.  For that reason, I have had to 
delay a few of the stories that readers have sent me until CR 131, 
which will appear on November 2.

Third Note:  I am planning a special issue of stories related to 
Halloween for October 30.  If you have titles to suggest, send them to 
me quickly.  Obviously I cannot read a huge number of long stories; but 
I can repost old reviews and add a few new ones.  Do NOT bother sending 
me the whole stories.  If I don’t have a story or cannot find it, I may 
ask for your further help in locating it.  Here are the stories I have 
assembled so far for review in the next issue:

     * "Meeting Amanda" by Backrub (sex with a vampire)
     * "Intimate with the Vampire 2.0" by Rocket88 (vampire
            sex)
     * "The Warlock" by Rocket88 (witchcraft & whippings) 
     * “Diana” by Mary Anne Mohanraj (mysterious outdoor sex) 
     * "Wet Dreams" by Backrub (mind control & dreams) 
     * "Tales of the Seeding" by Wollstonecraft (Primitive sex 
           rituals)
     * “Porno TV: The Munsters” by Shelby Bush (sitcom parody)
     * "Bed and Breakfast" by RC (ghostly sex)
      “Princess” by Parker (TG activity at Halloween party)
      “Hot Sex Fantasy” by Mr. Double (costume party sex)
      “The Addams Family” "Eddie Comes to Visit" by Shelby 
            Bush (sitcom parody)
      “Halloween” by RC  (vampire sex)
      “Boo!” by PleaseCain (gruesome romantic tryst)
      “Brown Mountain Incident” by Charles Baudot (mysterious
            Mm encounter)
      “Temptation” by PleaseCain (poetic meditation)

* Repost of a previous review (I am hoping that because the
    theme is related to Halloween the story will be reposted).

- Celeste

      “Overheard” by Unknown Author (voyeurism & 
            spouse watching) 10, 10, 10
      “Hypnodontist” by RC (hypnosis) 10, 10, 9.5
      “Ginsu Memories” by Dafney Dewitt (bizarre salesmanship) 
            10, 10, 10
      “Dog Breath” by Dafney Dewitt (domination & submission)
            10, 10, 10
      “Something for Everybody” by R. Stephen Redick (confusing
            incest) 9, 9, 9
      “January 96” by PleaseCain (warm-up for a cold day) 
            10, 10, 10
      “La Puta” by Dr. Watson (wife watching & orgies) 9, 9, 9
      “Busy” by Frederick Crawford (afternoon delight) 9, 8, 8
      “Human Biology” by Unknown Author (sex with teacher)
            9, 8, 7
      “Bertram II” by {I’m not sure} (sexual humor) 10, 10, 10
    * "Assignment" by Deirdre (ff sex, bondage, & anal sex) 
            10, 10, 10
    * "Back" by Deirdre (anal sex) 10, 9, 9
    * "Backfire" by Deirdre (anal sex) 10, 8, 7
    * “Ball” by Deirdre (anal sex) 9.5, 10, 9.5
    * “Bank” by Deirdre (mind control) 10, 10, 9.5
    * “Basement” by Deirdre (whipping) 10, 8, 8
    * "Beach" by Deirdre (nudity and romance in the dark) 
            10, 9, 8
    * "Bet" by Deirdre (submission and slavery) 10, 8, 8
    * "Big" by Deirdre (Breast fetish) 9, 6, 6

* = Repost of a previous review (because the story has recently 
     been reposted).

“Overheard” by Unknown Author (mcg-mcg@bartra.demon.co.uk).  The man 
comes home early from work, and so his wife doesn’t know that he is 
able to overhear her while she talks sex with here neighbor on the 
telephone.  The two ladies talk about various sexual exploits, 
including how the man’s wife will agree to come to the next orgy if the 
neighbor can manage to seduce the husband before that time.  This is a 
very interesting approach to voyeurism and spouse watching.

The story is posted by Merrill, Castle and Gray (UK).  These people 
claim to have a list of 7000 stories, and it appears that they are 
willing to send them to people for free.  I have not received stories 
directly from them; but I did recognize several good stories on their 
list.  In the next few issues of Celestial Reviews I plan to review a 
few more of the stories they have recently posted on a.s.s.  You can e-
mail ‘list-mcg@bartra.demon.co.uk' for an up-to-date list of their 
publications

Ratings for “Overheard”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

“Hypnodontist” by RC (74734.271@CompuServe.COM).  This story wasn’t at 
all what I had expected.  That’s because I had mistakenly copied the 
title as “Hypnopodiatrist”.  Once I got  the dental angle right, I made 
a prediction that the story would be about a young woman who goes to a 
dentist for a checkup or tooth extraction and receives nitrous oxide 
(laughing gas) as a form of anesthesia.  The patient will become 
hypnotized while under the influence of the gas and will become the 
dentist’s sex slave.  Actually, that’s probably my own subliminal wish: 
I’ll do anything to avoid dental pain!

Well, I was close.  The patient is a guy, and the dentist is a woman; 
and the sex occurs in the office.  Other than that, my prediction was 
pretty much on target.  It’s a good hypnosis story.

My problem is a practical one.  My dentist used nitrous oxide on me 
last week.  I remained fully conscious (I think); I just relaxed and 
didn’t give a damn while the Nazi dentist did things to my mouth that 
used to make me anxious.  Because I was so relaxed, pain simply did not 
occur.  My dentist said nothing at all to me right after he turned the 
gas on.  He simply left one nice lady with big tits and a nice smile in 
the room with me to make sure I didn’t die or something while I was 
under the influence of the gas.  He left the room - either to work on 
another patient or to boink the assistant with the smaller tits and 
cuter ass.  When he came back into the room, he asked me if I “felt a 
buzz” yet; and when I nodded, he fixed my tooth.  My dentist is quite 
handsome for a Nazi, and I do recall noticing in my highly relaxed 
state that he did not have an erection at that time.  This is unusual 
for men in my presence; and this supports my suspicion that he and the 
second assistant had already taken care of his needs.  When he was 
finished, he turned off the gas, smiled, and cryptically stated that he 
would “see me again in six months.”  As far as I know, there was no 
hypnosis or post-hypnotic suggestion - except that I do find myself 
coming to his office every six months or so.  However, when I met my 
husband later that day in a semi-public place and he asked me how my 
teeth were, I replied, “Why don’t you check?” and slipped him the 
tongue.

Here’s a technical question related to the story.  If the patient did 
all this stuff under post-hypnotic suggestion and was told she would 
forget everything, how did she manage to remember these details and 
write the story in this first-person narrative?  Kind of makes you 
wonder, doesn’t it?

Ratings for “Hypnodontist”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5

“Ginsu Memories” by Dafney Dewitt. This story by the author of “Bosnian 
Babes In Rapeland” borders on the grotesque - on the OTHER SIDE of the 
grotesque.  It would be difficult for me to try to summarize it without 
ruining it for you.  All I can tell you is that the woman is reading a 
romance novel about a woman in immediate danger of being raped by 
romantic pirates when she is interrupted by an unusual oriental knife 
salesman.  ‘Nuff said!

Ratings for “Ginsu Memories”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

“Dog Breath” by Dafney Dewitt.  The author prefaces this story with the 
following disclaimer: “The intent of this story is to elicit disgust 
and poke fun at stories featuring humiliation and submission by using a 
soap opera type melodrama to help maintain the suspense.  If you finish 
this story feeling just a little queasy, if you have a sudden desire to 
brush your teeth, then this story has accomplished its purpose.”  The 
author carries off this parody beautifully.

The gist of the story is that the heroine hears voices that tell her 
that in order to obtain sexual fulfillment she must, among other 
things, jerk the dog off and swallow his cum.  A serious cliffhanger 
moment arises when she has to kiss her husband - the stranger’s urine 
on her sleeve is innocuous, but she is afraid that her husband will 
slip her the tongue and discover that she has dog breath.  This may 
sound goofy; but parodies are SUPPOSED to sound goofy - it’s the 
parallelism between the goofy and more serious events that gives a 
parody its punch.  This is a very good parody.

Let me preface these next few paragraphs by saying that I do NOT think 
that everyone who reads or writes bdsm stories or who practices a 
variation of bdsm is necessarily a loony or a danger to society.  My 
problem is that I sometimes read stories that appear to me to be just 
as grotesque as this one; but they are not parodies - I’m supposed to 
take them seriously.  For example, I may read a story in which a man 
inflicts pain on a woman in such a way that my common sense tells me 
that she is experiencing degradation very similar to that described in 
this story.  As I read it, I say to myself, “This is weird.  The author 
must be kidding.”  I look for a disclaimer, and there’s no indication 
that the author is kidding; the writer really seems to believe that 
people can express love by giving and receiving degradation.  My usual 
reaction is that such a story is not very realistic.

Occasionally one of the authors will write to me after I post a review.  
The message will essentially tell me that I “have a problem” with bdsm.  
I have missed the point; the people in the story really love each 
other.  {Or women really enjoy getting raped or being pissed on or 
whatever it is that I didn’t understand.}  These people usually assure 
me that they are sane and productive members of society, and I believe 
that assertion.  My question is why do they assume that I am the one 
who has a problem?  

Note that if I knew the lady in this story in real life, I would assume 
that she was seriously dysfunctional.  If she asked my advice, I would 
suggest she see a counselor.  Unless I am missing something, she is not 
leading a “productive alternative lifestyle.”  She needs to get her act 
together.  My problem is that the characters in some of the “serious” 
stories are just as dysfunctional, but readers are supposed to assume 
(without any further evidence) that their behavior is a realistic 
depiction of what normal people do.

I may be arrogant, but it is my belief that the AUTHOR has the 
responsibility to express ideas in such a way as to communicate a story 
to his/her audience.  The stories to which I give relatively low 
ratings for lack of realism (usually stories that involve bdsm, water 
sports, rape, or pedophile behavior) are usually written in such a way 
that INSIDERS will enjoy them.  In other words, a person will enjoy the 
story if he or she already believes that it is productive to express 
love by torturing a partner or who thinks that kids who are molested by 
adults normally experience no ill effects.  However, I review the 
stories as what I’ll call a “mainstream” reader of erotica.  If the 
authors want to include people like myself (and that’s a lot of readers 
on this newsgroup) in their audiences, then it seems to me that it is 
THEIR responsibility to help the rest of us understand why the story is 
realistic rather than silly.

In other words, the author of the present story shouldn’t have had to 
tell me that this was satire.  As I read the story, I should have been 
able to say, this is so silly that he must be kidding!

Please note that I DO frequently give high ratings to bdsm, water-
sports, rape, pedophile, etc. stories.  This happens not only when they 
are parodies (as in this case) but also when the authors present the 
story in such a way that a non-insider like myself can see the point.  
I think the greatest short story ever written is “Telltale Heart” by 
Edgar Alan Poe.  I don’t think it is a good idea to kill an old man 
because I don’t like his eye and then to bury him under the 
floorboards; but Poe wrote the story in such a way as to make me 
believe that a really strange person might in fact do the things that 
happen in that story. 

When I find stories that describe aspects of life that are unfamiliar 
to me, I appreciate them.  Not only do I enjoy them - I also grow by 
reading them.  My suggestion here is that authors whose stories are 
based on counterintuitive premises should assume the burden of 
communicating their stories realistically to the rest of us.  That’s 
part of being a good author.

Ratings for “Dog Breath”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
 
“Something for Everybody” by R. Stephen Redick (burrito@mc.net).  Our 
story begins with the father too angry to masturbate while he watches 
the skin flick while waiting up to lecture his 17-year-old daughter 
because he found a box of condoms in her room.  We have potential for 
irony in this opening.

Anyway, the daughter is extremely late - like after 10:30 or even 11:00 
p.m.; and the erotic dancer from the apartment next door comes home 
before she does.  The dancer has brought home not one but two guys, and 
she does a threesome that the guy likes more than the skin flick; and 
so he is surprised when his daughter comes home unexpectedly.  He 
shoves his erect cock into his pants and confronts the daughter, who 
admits to having given five blowjobs that evening.  I suppose this is 
because she’s just a beginning cheerleader. {“I have a cold,” said one 
cheerleader to the other. “And I have an orgasm whenever I sneeze.” 
“What are you taking for it?” asked the other. “Snuff,” replied the 
first.  Ooops! wrong story! Something for everybody!}

The five blowjobs are against House Rules, and so Dad spanks the 
daughter.  Unfortunately, he already has a hard-on from the skin flicks 
or from the spectacle next door, and the little girl notices this, 
which makes her wet, which makes him hard.  At this point, Traci 
notices the scene next door, which makes her wet, which makes him hard; 
and so she helps her father masturbate while they both watch the other 
people.  While she daydreams about the five guys to whom she gave head 
that evening, Dad slides his cock into her soaking wet pussy.  Soon 
we’re witnessing a frenzy of fucking fluids flying freely all over 
everyone’s faces.

Meanwhile, the guy who is writing the story is getting a hard-on.  He 
recalls how he had flexed his dick at the dancer earlier that evening 
and how horny it had made her.  A picture being worth a thousand words, 
he changes windows on his computer and quickly views the unclad 
pictorial representation of enough words to fill a short novel.  The 
dancer would have been impressed with the jism that is soon dripping 
down his chest.  She just might have liked the story, he thinks, as he 
turns off the lights and gets into the bed, alone.

Not a bad story.  But the question remains: Where was Traci’s mother 
all this time?

Ratings for “Something for Everybody”
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

“January 96” by PleaseCain (pleasecain@aol.com).  The guy staggers in 
from a really miserable day.  Life sucks.  The weather is miserable.  
It took three hours just to get home from the airport.  Life sucks.  On 
the other hand, the furnace works, the fridge is stocked, he can’t go 
to work for at least a few days, and his wife seems to be randy and 
determined to compensate for the unfortunate vicissitudes of life.  
This is a very short but very good story.

Ratings for “January 96”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

“La Puta” by Dr. Watson.  Jan used to be gang-bang queen in college, 
and now she has a whore fantasy.  Her husband’s theory is that it’s a 
mark of a good lover to help one’s partner fulfill her fantasies, and 
so when he gets sent to the hinterlands of Central America, he invites 
her down to be his personal whore and to be shared with the roughnecks 
around the oil camp.  Jan enjoys the role, and this story describes her 
exploits in detail.

On the night before they leave town, Captain Ramone confronts the 
husband and tells him that he knew all along that Jan was his wife.  He 
says that he is aware that American imperialists sometimes enjoy 
watching other men fuck their wives.  He suggests that when they get 
back to the States they see a good counselor.  Actually, I made up part 
but not most of this paragraph.

Jan tells her husband that when she’s being gang-banged the experience 
is like standing aside watching herself.  She says that’s the Latin 
meaning of ecstasy - standing outside oneself.  Actually, ecstasy comes 
from Greek, not Latin, roots with that meaning.  Just goes to show you 
- never believe what a whore tells you in a moment of passion.

Ratings for “La Puta”
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

“Busy” by Frederick Crawford.  The woman is hard at work at her home 
office when the doorbell rings.  Annoyed at the interruption to her 
busy day, she is pleasantly surprised to find that it is her lover, who 
promptly does wonderful things to her while he fucks her brains out.  
This is a nice, romantic story; but I would have liked to have seen 
some more development.  In addition, I find the second-person (you) 
narrative to be distracting in most cases - and this story is not an 
exception.

Ratings for “Busy”
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8

“Human Biology” by Unknown Author.  I got this story from the THC 
Archive.  This story raises an interesting question: should teachers 
allow their students - male or female - to go to the bathroom during 
class for the sole purpose of jerking off because they have become so 
turned on by the sexual presence of the hot teacher?  That’s a tough 
question. I’ll have to look it up.  I have always assumed those kids 
were going to the bathroom to shoot up on drugs or something.

The story is basically a teenage girl’s fantasy.  She longs for the 
body of the coach/biology teacher and eventually he pops her cherry and 
they have many happy times together.

Ratings for “Human Biology”
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7

“Bertram II” by {I’m not sure}.  Bertie Wooster and Jeeves are 
characters in a series of books by the British humorist P.G. Woodhouse. 
Bertie is a member of the British ruling class who is totally jobless 
and lives a charming life. Jeeves is his valet, or a gentleman's 
gentleman, as Bertie refers to him. Bertie gets into trouble, usually 
involving women (mostly his aunts) and Jeeves saves him. That is the 
standard plot.  The literati from the Motherland will already know 
this, but we Colonials would be clueless as a crown prince without this 
commentary.  In addition, one of my correspondents has told me that UPI 
recently (Oct. 17) carried a story that two musicals based on the 
Jeeves stories are headed for Broadway soon. One is by Andrew Lloyd 
Webber ("By Jeeves") and the other is by the team that brought us 
Kismet and Grand Hotel ("Betting on Bertie").

Regular readers of these reviews may recall Bertram’s earlier adventure 
with Aunt Agnes, in which he successfully utilized the one-man band 
technique on her pussy and asshole, followed by a vigorous double-
holing with the assistance of the sainted Cheeves.  In the present 
story Bertram is again summoned to his Aunt Agnes’s house on the 
occasion of his cousin Wilhelmina's 21st birthday.  "Cheeves!” exclaims 
Bertram,  “this is a disaster!  Whatever shall I give her?"  What 
indeed!

As usual, Cheeves is happy to be of service."

Ratings for “Bertram II”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

* "Assignment" by Deirdre.  I guessed the plot of this one!  I say that 
not to criticize Deirdre's creativity, but rather to brag about my own 
insight.  If you're going to try to guess the plot, don't look at my 
description in the title list that precedes the reviews; that would 
give you an unfair advantage.  The story begins when a woman spots a 
young woman who lives in the same apartment complex weeping in the 
hall.  She takes her in, comforts her, and becomes attracted to her; 
and then the plot thickens.

Ratings for “Assignment”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

* "Back" by Deirdre.  A woman tells her husband that she has been 
unfaithful to him a single time by having anal sex with an instructor 
at the spa.  The man goes to confront the instructor.  Since one of the 
great strengths of Deirdre's stories is the unusual twists in the plot, 
I can tell you no more.

Ratings for “Back”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

* "Backfire" by Deirdre. A college girl has been flaunting her cute 
little ass to impress a woman's husband.  With the intention of 
embarrassing the girl, the woman persuades her to proposition her 
husband; but the girl turns the tables on the woman - giving double 
meaning to the story's title.

Ratings for “Backfire”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6

* “Ball” by Deirdre.  The woman’s husband has lost a basketball game 
that he felt sure he would win.  The woman is astonished to discover 
the winners buttfucking the losers.  Drawn up in the heat of the 
moment, she herself has anal sex with Jerry, one of her husband’s 
friends who happens to be nearby.  Then the next morning Jerry’s 
girlfriend shows up at the front door....

Deirdre certainly is a good writer.  Many of her stories (like this 
one) start in the middle of the action, making the reader guess at 
what’s going on.  Subtle clues gradually enable the reader to figure 
the story out; but just when you think you have everything figured out, 
Deirdre throws in another surprise.  This was an excellent story.

Ratings for “Ball”
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5

* "Bank" by Deirdre.  My word processor tells me that this story was 
only 830 words long, but with those few words the author did a really 
nice job of creating a mood.  What's best about the story is that 
Deirdre shows excellent restraint: she creates a mood and tells us this 
story without going overboard and trying to make more of the incident 
than there really was to it.  Other writers would be tempted to work in 
some four-letter words and at least a couple of orgasms and to follow 
the formula for a good sex story; but Deirdre just relates this 
anecdote in a way that made me think of comparable things that had 
happened to me during my own early adolescence.

Ratings for “Bank”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5

* "Basement" by Deirdre. In this story the man and his wife have 
secretly admitted to each other that although they would not like to be 
whipped themselves, they would both like to beat a woman for a sexual 
thrill.   Then one day the guy comes home to find a woman bound in his 
basement and his wife with a grin on her face.  What's going on here?

Ratings for “Basement”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8

"Beach" by Deirdre (an65862@anon.penet.fi).  A man and wife visit 
another couple who live on the beach.  They quickly become persuaded to 
engage in nudity, which they find to be more exciting than they had 
expected.  Then the home couple takes the guest couple to the beach and 
leaves them there in the dark, some distance apart, with instructions 
that they are to find each other but not speak.  They do so and make 
romantic love.  The question we are left with is to whom did they 
really make love in the darkness?

Ratings for “Beach”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8

"Bet" by Deirdre (an65862@anon.penet.fi). A guy happens to get invited 
to a party with his wife and friends and loses a bet; and so he and a 
woman have to serve dinner naked from the belt down.  It turns out he 
likes it, and so do his wife and the other woman.  They become more 
intimately involved; and then the story takes a sudden twist. 

Ratings for “Beach”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8

"Big" by Deirdre.  The narrator of this story is a woman who is sorta 
the queen of the hill in the office with regard to breast size.  A new 
woman joins the office staff, and suspicion arises that hers may be 
bigger.  They eventually do show and tell and hold regular worship 
services.  This story wasn't quite as plausible to me as most of 
Deirdre's other stories.  Maybe that's because I myself don't have the 
problem faced by the narrator of this story - being envious of the size 
of other women's tits; but some people do, I'm told.  My problem lies 
more in the area of comparing my husband's cock size to some of those I 
read about on this newsgroup!

Ratings for “Big”
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 6
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6


