
Celestial Reviews 305 - Sept 12, 1998

Note: Every once in a while I get questions and comments about my ratings. The
most common criticism is that my ratings are "too high." Once more, here is my
defense.

When I started doing these reviews three years ago, the stories I reviewed
were much weaker. A 10 then meant that the story was darned good ­ about as
good as I expected a story to be on this newsgroup. Stories have improved
markedly since that time. There is still crap out there, but if you are
selective you can easily find more good stories than you can possibly have
time to read. I feel an obligation to maintain some sense of continuity, and
so a rating of 10 now means that it would have been outstanding "back then."

In addition, I try to reserve for myself the stories written by my guest
reviewers. This is supposed to minimize the potential tendency of guest
reviewers to kiss up to one another or to screw someone who gave them a bad
review. Many of these reviewers also happen to be really good authors, and so
their stories tend to receive high ratings. 

When I venture out and review stories by authors I have never heard of, they
often get much lower ratings. This leads me to believe that my high ratings
are not completely without merit.

Finally, I STRONGLY urge you to put more emphasis on what the review says than
on the numerical ratings. In fact, I am not offended if you put more emphasis
on your own reactions than on my numerical ratings.

If you want to know what stories I think are "best," look at the monthly or
annual ratings. 

Overall, I seriously believe that any story to which I give 9s and 10s is
likely to be a "good read." And some of the stories that make the Top Monthly
and Annual lists are better than what you'll find in published anthologies.

I encourage my guest reviewers to rate the stories any way they want. If they
are consistent, readers of CR will learn how to use the information these
diverse readers supply for them.

Second note: Bob and Sam were trying to get in a quick eighteen holes of golf,
but there were two terrible lady golfers in front of them, hitting the ball
everywhere but where it was supposed to go. 

Bob said, "Why don't you go over and ask if we play through?" Sam got about
halfway there and came back. Bob asked, "What's wrong?" 

Sam replied, "I couldn't confront them. One of them is my wife, and the other
one is my mistress. I didn't realize they even knew each other"

Bob nodded. "That could be a problem," he said." I'll go talk to them
instead." 

Bob got about halfway there and came back. Sam asked, "What's wrong?" 

Bob replied, "Small world."

Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for
me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.

- Celeste

=====================
Celestial Reviews:
=====================

"Blinded" by Miss Behavin' (office romance) 10, 9, 9
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=390006924&fmt=raw 
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http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/15234.txt 

"Summer Rain" by Sven the Elder (quickie in the rain) 10, 10 ,10 
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=390043097&fmt=raw 
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http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/15244.txt 

"Night Court: Well-Hung Jury" by Uncle Mike (sitcom parody) 10, 9, 9
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=390382714&fmt=raw 
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http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/15253.txt 

"Midnight Rendezvous" by s.a.m. (poetry) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=388656140&fmt=raw 
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http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/15055.txt 

"Her Damned Office Party" by Sean Devon (wife watching) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=388115056&fmt=raw 
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http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/15031.txt 

=====================
Guest Reviews:
=====================

"Oneness" by Patrick Donovan (romantic stroke story). MichaelD: 7, 3, 5
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=389337714&fmt=raw 
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http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/15121.txt 

"Begging" by The Unknown Wanderer (begging for sex) Emperor: 6, 4, 4
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=380943593&fmt=raw 

"The Fan Man" By Sundance (voyeurism). Miss Behavin: 10, 9, 8
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=389694528&fmt=raw
---
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/15134.txt 

"Sunset on Roses" by MichaelD (forbidden love/romance)
Bitbard: 10,10,10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=377541490&fmt=raw
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=377541496&fmt=raw
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=377541502&fmt=raw
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=377541505&fmt=raw
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=377541509&fmt=raw
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=377541515&fmt=raw
---
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13748.txt 
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13749.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13750.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13752.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13753.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13751.txt

=====================
Reposted Reviews
=====================

* "The Off Season" by Cobalt Jade (risky sex) 10, 8, 8
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=237987135&fmt=raw 

* "A Yank in the Outhouse" by David Shaw (war-time sex)
   10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=357058762&fmt=raw 
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=357058773&fmt=raw 

* "The Morning After" by Tom Bombadil (spam contest)
   10, 8, 8
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=285802333&fmt=raw 

* "A Little Afternoon Fun" by Dulcinea (water sports) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=198045398&fmt=raw 

* "Oneness" by Patrick Donovan (romance & hot sex) 9
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=389337714&fmt=raw 
---
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/15121.txt 

=====================
On this day in Celestial History
Celestial Reviews 117 - September 14, 1996
=====================

* "Road Trip" by Michael K. Smith (romance) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=240603786&fmt=raw 

* "Auditor" by Mark (voyeurism) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=276447397&fmt=raw 

* "Brenda's Conquest" by Tom Bombadil (emerging
   adolescence & romance) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=226971755&fmt=raw 

* "The Better To..." by M.M. Twassel (fairy tale sex) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179439173&fmt=raw 

* "Little Red Riding Hood" by Sarah Jahn (fairy tale sex) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=168680551&fmt=raw 

=====================

"Blinded" by Miss Behavin' (MissBehavin@sprint.ca).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=390006924&fmt=raw 
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http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/15234.txt 

Leigh Anne is the secretary for a lawyer named Alan. While listening to a tape
for dictation, she accidentally overhears a sexual encounter between Alan and
a person whom Leigh Anne judges to be not worthy of him. Leigh Anne keeps on
listening, and she finds herself getting aroused. Do you know where this is
going yet? Well, you're wrong! The plot thickens: As she continues listening
to the tape, Leigh Anne hears her own name come up in the conversation between
the two lovers.

>From this point forward we have a tale of deception, seduction, blackmail, and
revenge that ends with innocent Leigh Anne firmly ensconced in Alan's future
plans. The producers of "Days of our Lives," who I suspect read this newsgroup
and even occasionally contribute a poorly written story, should fire their
writers, get off that Sammy and Lucas crap, and hire authors like this one to
write a real story!

Actually, there are some loose ends in the plot. For example, it's not clear
to me why later in the plot there is no follow-up to the notion that the
trampy Danielle has a bisexual interest in Leigh Anne. In addition, when Leigh
Anne goes to meet Cambellton, she deliberately dresses cheap and trashy; but
he distinctly notices that she is not cheap and trashy.

Leigh Anne reasons that "To be in (Mr. Cambellton's) favour could prove to be
extremely useful in the future, so her only option was to give him what he
wanted." Then she tricks Cambellton and rubs his face in the shit she has
pulled on him. Why not just make an ass out of him in a manner that does not
comprise her apparent devoted love for Alan?

Finally, this otherwise bright and sensitive woman sees no inconsistency in
the fact that she is engaging in sleazy behavior in order to gain the
affections of a man who has been engaging in equally tawdry behavior with a
woman who is beneath her contempt. 

I guess my problem is that if the author is going to think the plot through
carefully, she should think the WHOLE plot through carefully. 

However, even in spite of my reservations, this is still a pretty good, very
sexy story. On the outside chance that cheap, tawdry, sleazy, and sexy are
good enough for you (and hey, it's a story about lawyers anyway), you may
enjoy this story very much.

Ratings for "Blinded"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

"Summer Rain" by Sven the Elder (sven@brass-neck.demon.co.uk).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=390043097&fmt=raw 
---
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/15244.txt 

A man is out in a boat fishing, while the woman who is with him reads a book.
It starts raining, and so they stop fishing and reading and fuck.

That's about it, except that the author adds some supplementary words,
phrases, and ideas. Suddenly pendulous, pirouettes, bobbing breasts,
shivering, confluences, sweet roundness, rain-diluted juices, straddling,
gasping, savage proportions, and more bobbing and shivering and rain-slicked
foreheads. And the idea that these two people have had a long history
together.

I guess if you add those words and ideas, this becomes a most interesting
little story.

Ratings for "Summer Rain"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Night Court: Well-Hung Jury" by Uncle Mike (sitcom parody).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=390382714&fmt=raw 
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http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/15253.txt 

According to my count I have reviewed 27 of Uncle Mike's stories. I don't know
how I missed this one.

The episode begins with Judge Harry sending to the slammer a guy named Peter
Little for public indecency in the presence of a group of Bible Society women
in Central Park.

Meanwhile, Christine still thinks of herself as the mousy girl she was in high
school, before puberty. She is unaware of her lush sexuality, a naivete that
makes her all the more attractive. And so while Mac is consoling her about
Dan's come-ons, she finds herself getting real horny and wondering if Mac is
as big all over as he seems to be.

To make a short story very brief - Mac's wife, Quon Lee, enters the courtroom
while Mac is entering Christine. And so, according to the Oriental custom of
ying and yang or tit for tat, she goes into Harry's chambers and initiates sex
with the Judge, while he is sleeping on the couch.

It's not the wildest sex I've ever read about, but it helps to be able to
visualize the characters from the sitcom, who act pretty much the way we'd
expect them to, if a TV show were allowed to take this bizarre twist.

Ratings for "Night Court"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

"Midnight Rendezvous" by s.a.m. (s.a.m@usa.net).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=388656140&fmt=raw 
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http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/15055.txt 

Summarizing poetry rarely does it justice. I have reviewed other poetry by
this author (Cyber-Charade in CR 235), and the present offering is of similar
high quality. If you enjoy poetry, you should take a look at this repost.

Ratings for "Midnight Rendezvous"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Her Damned Office Party" by Sean Devon (sean9696@aol.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=388115056&fmt=raw 
---
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/15031.txt 

This is the kind of story to which I usually give very low ratings. A guy
catches his wife being fucked by another man, and he gets horny while he
watches. The experience deepens their marital love for each other.  Yeah,
right….

The reason I hate this kind of story is that the plots are so simplistic and
the characters so shallow. They leave me with either a "Yeah, right!" or "What
a weirdo!" reaction.

This one is different. It's a poem that tells a story. Sort of like "Paradise
Lost," only intelligible and not interminable. The poetic format gives the
author the freedom to leave things unsaid and to still make sense.

I found this story to be quite arousing, largely because the emotions
expressed in it made sense to me.

Ratings for "Her Damned Office Party"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Oneness" by Patrick Donovan (drwho@world.std.com). Guest review by MichaelD.
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=389337714&fmt=raw 
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http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/15121.txt 

Patrick is an erotic story writer. Louise is one of his fans. As the story
opens, they finally get together after having corresponded for months by e-
mail. They meet as he gets off of work; they go back to his place; he makes
her dinner; they have sex.

Although this piece tries to present itself as romance, it is essentially a
stroke story. The characters have scarcely had a chance to interact before
they're tearing each other's clothes off. As a stroke story, though, it is not
a bad one. The sex is hot, heavy, and sustained, though perhaps a bit
conventional. They break in the midst of their first encounter to finish
dinner, then take a shower together. They have repeated bouts of oral sex
before finally having intercourse.

I would have liked to know more about the characters before the sex began. The
author makes references to certain things like their months of correspondence,
Louise's ex-boyfriend, and Patrick's first love without bothering to expand on
them at all. A few more pages of characterization would have improved this
immensely. The author tries, at the end of the story, to make much of their
emotional connection (the "Oneness" of the title), but without having a better
feel for who the characters were, it didn't work for me.

I did not find much technically wrong with the story, but neither does the
author exert himself. The dialogue, particularly, is very uninspired. To wit:

  "Louise, God, God, you're so beautiful." I moaned as my mouth moved
 down over her breasts, tugging at her nipples.
  "Ohhh...Patrick. Ohhh."

And it doesn't get much better.

As a stroke story, this works. But it doesn't go much beyond that.

Ratings for "Oneness"
Athena (technical quality): 7
Venus (plot & character): 3
MichaelD (appeal to reviewer): 5

"Begging" by The Unknown Wanderer (conf99@anon.nymserver.com). Guest review by
the Emperor.
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=380943593&fmt=raw 

Let's see what Celeste has sent me this time, ah, it's a new story called
"Begging". First of all the story begins by stating that the author is willing
to remain anonymous and thus publishes his story through someone else. Well
Unknown Wanderer, even if you had posted this by the name/email Unknown
Wanderer, I'd still wouldn't know who you were. 

Second, the story is supposed to be a rough draft; so I suggest you put it
through a spellcheck to find all your typos and then let someone else read it,
and only then you should publish it. 

And now for the story. The author starts out by saying (with all modesty) that
he's good in bed and that he has a loving relationship with his girlfriend
Laura; and according to what he says they keep each other sexually happy.
Well, one day Laura gets sent away, on work, for two weeks; and the author
goes from getting it everyday to not getting it all. Well, you can imagine
what this does to him. 

After the two weeks his girlfriend comes home and surprises him at his
apartment (and I thought that he would wait for her in the airport). And
surprisingly enough she's desperate for sex. Well, what can a horny twently-
something guy can do but give her what she wants? And now comes the twist of
the story and the reason for its title, the narrator makes his girlfriend beg
for sex when she's tied up to his bed and says that he will fuck her only if
she'll do a good number on him. 

>From here on the story goes on and on showing her efforts at making him happy
so that he will fuck her. What a loving relationship. 

And now the critique. Let's start with the easy part - the technical side of
the story. As I've said, the author should have spellchecked his story and
given it to someone else to read before posting it. (I wonder if he even
reread it himself.) There are just too many typos in the story; they distract
from the story itself. For the plot & characters side - there's not much plot
in the story nor characters - just two people having sex with each other. It
reminded me very much of those sex movies where they try to have some plot in
it but lose it after the first 3 minutes of the movie and just keep fucking
each other to the end of the story/movie. 

As for me, this kind of story is not my cup of tea. I don't believe that in a
loving relationship one side of the couple should beg for sex after not seeing
her partner for two weeks. And so the guy's degrading behavior toward his
girlfriend just didn't do it for me. Finally, even if this plot sounds good to
you, I suggest you try this story only after the author reposts it as a final
edition and not as a rough draft.

Ratings for "Begging"
Athena (technical quality): 6
Venus (plot & character): 4
Emperor (appeal to reviewer): 4

"The Fan Man" by Sundance (sundance69@hotmail.com) Guest Review by Miss
Behavin (missbehavin@sprint.ca) 
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http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/15134.txt 

Craig is just your average guy. He's got a wife, kids, a house and a widowed
woman neighbor with a 17-year-old daughter, Karen, who's quite a flirt. All
Craig really wants to do is get a little R&R on his vacation; but like the
good guy that he is, he offers to help her out setting up some new ceiling
fans.

The characterization is excellent and the set-up is very believable, as Craig
finds that a little more than ceiling fans await him at the house next door.
Suddenly he finds himself in the attic looking down through a vent into
Karen's room. Karen isn't supposed to be at home but there she is, talking on
the phone and there he is, trapped because she isn't exactly just "talking" on
it to her boyfriend. Craig becomes an unintentional voyeur and the story gets
hot. Craig's reactions and thoughts are true and humorous.

As things progress, Karen's boyfriend drops by on her request and she decides
to give him his birthday present. Something he's been wanted for quite some
time, but she's never given him before. Craig watches as Karen experiences
giving her first blowjob and almost lets the birthday boy cum. The whole scene
spills out before you leaving you panting and frustrated at the same time.

The Fan Man held my attention through the whole story, as it's very well
written with great imagery that leaves you wiggling in your seat. Overall it's
a very good voyeurism story, but I have a couple of quips with it. Besides the
fact that it's basically a 'guy story', Karen is experienced beyond her years
in her confidence level: and the story leaves you, male or female, hanging in
the end -- mildly unfulfilled.

Ratings for "The Fan Man"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Miss Behavin` (Appeal): 8

=====================

"Sunset on Roses" by MichaelD (michaeld38@aol.com). Guest Review by BitBard
(BitBard@newsguy.com). 
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=377541490&fmt=raw
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=377541496&fmt=raw
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=377541502&fmt=raw
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=377541505&fmt=raw
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=377541509&fmt=raw
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=377541515&fmt=raw
---
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13748.txt 
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13749.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13750.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13752.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13753.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13751.txt

A 32-year-old divorced lawyer, Michael, meets a 17-year-old intern, Tracey. He
sucks her young, hot twat she gives him a blow job, and then they fuck -- his
hot, throbbing cock buried deeply inside her tight, seventeen year old cunt.
That's a typical older man meets jail-bait-teen scenario on ASS isn't it? Well
guess what? This isn't a typical story, at least not a typical ASS story
anyway. 

The earlier description was a basic summary of Michael and Tracey's first time
in bed, though I seriously changed the tone to take a small jab at the typical
fucking the teenybopper story. Before this scenario actually happens the
reader is treated to a wonderful character buildup of both Michael and Tracey.
In this story they don't meet and fuck, they meet, they get to know each other
(as we get to know them), they have problems with the age difference and have
to deal with them, then they make love. Then it gets serious.

Surprisingly, something that always annoys me so much in adult/teen stories is
present in this story, but here it is not at all annoying. Tracey is
seventeen. In a typical ASS story her age would be dwelt on over and over and
over again usually while they are making love. In Roses, the age is also
dwelled on but it's dwelled on as a very real point of conflict and drama. The
age difference isn't brought up in the bedroom, it's brought up by nosey co-
workers, friends, and Michael and Tracey themselves. This story deals
realistically, very realistically with that dilemma.

Anyone who has ever fallen in love will immediately connect with this story.
The gradual increase in intensity, the feelings that grow so silently that
it's a surprise to find them, the intimacy, the play, the humor, the doubts,
the uncertainties, the introspection, the need to bring existing friends into
their lover's lives -- they are all there. Also there are all the things
necessary to make a relationship work, honesty, communication, and sharing
common interests and pleasures. 

This may very well be the most realistic, accurate portrayal of two people
falling in love that I've ever read and is all the more remarkable for the age
issues which take this into the forbidden love realm. The love-making, when it
happens, is all the more special not only because it is as well-written and
well described as the rest of this story, but because we know these people so
well; because we know they belong together and we can be happy for them, with
them when it finally happens. 

This is the type of story I aspire to write, this is the type of story I long
to find and treasure when I do. Obviously, this story carries my highest
possible recommendation. Read it, enjoy it, live it, and know for a brief
while the thrill and intensity of newfound love.

Note the + on the appeal. There are many stories I give an appeal of 10 to --
it simply means I enjoyed the story and I think you might as well. The + is my
way of noting a story that I not only enjoyed, but a story that I consider to
be among the very best that I have ever read.

Ratings for "Sunset on Roses"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
BitBard (appeal to reviewer): 10+ {Truly outstanding}

* "The Off Season" by Cobalt Jade (cobaltjade@aol.com). 
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=237987135&fmt=raw 

The guy and woman sneak into a closed amusement park, turn on the carousel,
and re-enact a fantasy from their earlier life together. I like the idea of
amusement park sex and enjoyed this story, but it was not as hot as I expected
it to be.

Ratings for "The Off Season"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8

* "A Yank in the Outhouse" by David Shaw (shaw_david@hotmail.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=357058762 
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=357058773 
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=357058762&fmt=raw 
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=357058773&fmt=raw 

First, let's clear up a linguistic ambiguity. An outhouse in England is 
not the same thing as one in America. In England, the term appears to 
refer to any house outside the main house. In the United States an 
outhouse is a primitive toilet facility employed in areas where there is 
no running water for flush toilets. Aside from the hole through which 
one shits and pisses and the aroma that pervades the place, the most 
familiar characteristic of the American outhouse is the crescent-moon-
shaped window on the front door. I would add that in the United States 
the outhouse usually contains a crapper, whereas in this story the 
outhouse contains a copper; but you would have to read this story to 
understand what that means.

This story takes place in England during World War II. The narrator is 
a very conservative British lady who lives in a very rural area, stays 
away from bars, and teaches Sunday School. A fortiori she's a virgin. 
The men are off fighting Hitler, and war is hell on the homefront too. 
Our Heroine is assigned to deliver a bottle of wine as a gift from the 
Vicar to two distinguished ladies who have moved to the countryside to 
avoid the blitz; and she is surprised to discover when she peers through 
the window of the wash house that they are really nothing but a couple 
of prostitutes servicing the serviceman who has come a-calling.

What she sees resembles getting a bull aroused for a tupping session 
with a cow.

After she watches for a while, she gets caught; but what the heck - that 
just means that she gets to join the action.

This story makes some far-fetched assumptions - for instance, not all 
pure little voyeuristic Sunday school teachers become enthusiastic 
courtesans the moment they get caught and threatened with rape; but they 
won't strain the credulity of people who frequent alt.sex.stories. But 
overall, this was a very good story.

Ratings for "A Yank in the Outhouse"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

* "The Morning After" by Tom Bombadil (stbush@iglou.com). 
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=285802333&fmt=raw 

The narrator awakens from a drunken stupor with little recollection of what
happened the night before - just vague clues, like lipstick on drinking
glasses and an unidentified pair of panties. The idea is - you read the story
and try to guess what spam title fits it. My problem was that I didn't know
enough about spam titles to recognize the answer when I saw it! That probably
means that I have good reading habits.

Ratings for "The Morning After"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8

* "A Little Afternoon Fun" by Dulcinea (ImDulcinea@aol.com). 
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=198045398&fmt=raw 

{This story was reposted as an advertisement for a story site ­ with the
author's name deleted from the story. Dammit! If you're going to repost a
story, at least give the author credit!}

On this newsgroup the term " water sports" usually refers to urination as part
of sexual activities. With regard to this story I use the term to refer to the
use of a squirt gun filled with ice water to tease a husband and a bucket of
water to douse the offender and render her the moral equivalent of a wet-tee-
shirt contest winner. This is a very, very exciting bit of sexy flirtation.

Ratings for "A Little Afternoon Fun"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

* "Oneness" by Patrick Donovan (an242041@anon.penet.fi). 
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=389337714&fmt=raw 
---
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/15121.txt 

Two college kids meet by e-mail and join for an in vivo encounter. The sex is
passionate and realistic - the kind of thing we would all like our own fantasy
relationships to be if they ever really came about. This author writes well. 

(Rating: 9)

* "Road Trip" by Michael K. Smith (mksmith@metronet.com). 
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=240603786&fmt=raw 

Paul is an eighteen-year-old who is ferrying a car from Texas to Florida. He
picks up a hitchhiker named Paula, a girl about the same age who has just left
home and is drifting and looking for temporary jobs while she seeks her
fortune as a singer. Have you ever wondered where the guys in these stories
get their uncanny, precise estimates of girls' breast sizes? Well, Paul reads
the tag that says 34B on the bra she left in the bathroom. Paul behaves like a
perfect gentleman, even when he wakes up at 4:30 a.m. the first night with
blond hair (from her head) tickling his nose. To put it in terms familiar to
American presidents: he may have had lust in his heart, but he sniffed and
didn't inhale. 

When she thanks him for not trying anything, he tells her that it was hard;
and she cuddles up with him, making it harder. Which reminds me of one of the
first dirty jokes I actually tried to tell when I was much younger. I had
heard it from some older kids. "How does Jackie find Onasis in the dark?" "I
don't know." "It's not difficult!" "<hah! hah! hah - nervously, because she
didn't want to admit that she didn't get it either>" Now I get it! Aristotle
was old and his cock was limp; and "difficult" isn't always a good synonym for
"hard."

Anyway, they break the ice on the second evening. Mouths and hands only; but
it is still the best shower of his life to that point - and the story is not
over yet. Nuff said. Read the story yourself. It's another good one.

Ratings for "Road Trip"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

* "Auditor" by Mark (MarkB@aboy.demon.co.uk). 
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=276447397&fmt=raw 

This is the second story I have read from the Alphabet series by this author.
I plan to review them all - one each issue, which should mean 13 weeks for the
whole alphabet; but the author is only down to H. 

The story is wonderfully creative. You may think an auditor is a hapless
drudge who checks accounts for a business. Or maybe a person who sits in on a
college course without receiving academic credit for it. Actually, this guy is
an auditor as opposed to a voyeur. He listens to the Sarah and Lianne, the
"S&M dykes" in the adjacent apartment. He does with his ears what voyeurs do
with their eyes, and he lets his imagination fill in the blanks. During lapses
in the action, he even takes time out to coach the primary interested party:
"Hang in there, kid," he says, looking down. "Normal service will be resumed
as soon as possible."

As the bloke says, you don't have to be Sherlock Holmes, do you? Just read
between the lines. This was an excellent story; but you have to read between
the lines.

Ratings for "Auditor"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

* "Brenda's Conquest" by Tom Bombadil (stbush@iglou.com). 
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=226971755&fmt=raw 

This is a story about a man who falls in love with a 13-year-old girl with
whom he has been familiar since she was nine. In addition, the girl's 11-year-
old sister develops a sexual relationship with his own 17-year-old sister.
There's a lot more to the story than this, but I am not going to go into the
details here. All I'll say here is that it's a rich, well-developed story that
presents a reasonable perspective on the problems as well as of the joys of
such a relationship.

The author himself refers to this as a "pedophile love story." Interestingly,
my on-line dictionary does not define pedophile or pedophilia. It goes
straight from pedometer to peduncle. Go figure. However, my on-line
encyclopedia does have an article on the topic, which says this:

"Pedophilia is a psychosexual disorder characterized by a sexual desire for
and sexual acts with prepubescent children. Onset of the disorder can occur
from adolescence through old age, and it occurs predominantly in males. About
two-thirds of pedophiliacs are attracted to children of the opposite sex.
Based on evidence from criminal court records, pedophiles usually know the
children that they abuse. Most pedophiles resort to deception rather than
force. Although much is known about pedophilia, pedophiles themselves are
difficult to treat and recidivism rates are high."

In the present story, the "pedophile" doesn't actually do what my encyclopedia
says pedophiles do; he simply develops a consensual relationship with a
thirteen-year-old whom he has known for several years. You will note that
although the author himself describes this as a pedophile love story, I myself
have referred to it as a story of emerging adolescence and romance.

Nonetheless, it is important to realize that this story deals with a topic
that sets of alarms in the minds of people who are concerned about children
being harmed by pornography on the Internet. As a teacher in an American
public school, I am supposed to call to the attention of the legal authorities
behavior that is typically labeled pedophilia, if I become aware of it. That's
the rules, folks; and I could get into trouble for not following them. I
hasten to add that I am NOT a member of the Thought Police. I work with a
large number of troubled adolescents, and I HAVE worked with the authorities
in cases that they refer to as pedophilia. In no case that I have witnessed
has the relationship been like that described in this story. Every case I have
ever seen has revealed children who had their lives screwed up by an
exploitive adult.

The notion of falling in love with an innocent and precocious young person is
intuitively appealing. This story idealizes that intuitive appeal. 

It seems reasonable that society can differentiate between exploitive sex with
children (which is vividly described in Michael K. Smith's "Remembering") and
emotionally sensitive relationships like those described in this story. It is
my own belief that most children are best advised to reach a reasonable level
of maturity before becoming sexually active and that many adults who become
sexually active with children are likely to be satisfying their own (perhaps
unconscious) needs rather than being helpful to the children. In addition, a
very large number of psychologists seem to agree with my belief, and the laws
of most countries in Western society support my position.

On the other hand, stories like this one are realistic presentations of
emotions and feelings. My hope is that reasonable people can set aside their
biases, read this as the good story it is, and perhaps let the insights they
get from this story influence their thinking about the issues involved. Many
people will read this story to get some good ideas on how to seduce little
kids or will reject it out of hand because it is about something that is
immoral. Both groups will waste a perfectly good story.

This story raises a simple question: is it possible to write a story in which
an adult has sexual relations with a young adolescent in a way that would be
approved by reasonable, socially responsible people? I think this story (along
with several others, including Randu's "Double Trouble" and Santo Romeo's
"Martha Jane") demonstrate that the answer is yes. The related (and more
volatile) question is can this happen in real life? The answer certainly must
be yes, it CAN happen. The crucial question is DOES it happen? Or are all
adults who do this sexual perverts, as most laws seem to suggest? 

As I have said earlier, literally all the young children whom I have known to
have experienced sex with an adult were severely exploited. It may not always
be accurate to call their partners perverts; "sick" or "dysfunctional" may be
better words for some of them. But - and this is an important BUT - kids who
have had perfectly adaptive - even wonderful - relationships like those
described in this story would have no incentive to come forth and talk to me
about it. In fact, if they did so, the adults whom they loved would possibly
suffer dire consequences. I seriously doubt that all adult-child sexual
relationships are as destructive as some child advocacy people would have us
believe; but I also think that most real-life adult-child sexual relationships
are exploitive.

I cannot conclude without mentioning one important issue. I think we need to
let kids be kids. In recent years movies and TV shows (especially the soaps)
have combined with peer pressure to urge kids to rush into adulthood way too
fast. An important part of the mother's logic in this story was that if Brenda
didn't have sexual relations with Richard, she'd be having sex with someone
else real soon. To the extent that her insight is accurate, her decision to
permit sex with Richard may be valid. But might it not be better to find a way
to encourage kids to grow up before they have sexual relations? As I
understand it, something like 25-40% of kids in the Western world don't have
sex until they are at least 18 years old. Granted, a bunch of these people
have major hang-ups; but statistically they're OK people. If I may use myself
as a case study, I think I really do all right sexually, even though I had a
full childhood before I began my active sex life; and I THINK the same can be
said of my daughters. Sexuality isn't the only area in which we tend to push
kids too fast; I constantly see parents trying to push preschoolers into
academic programs when they should be playing games or reading Little Red
Riding Hood. Ooops! {For an explanation of this Ooops, see the review of "The
Better To...." later in this issue.} Let's let kids be kids!

I like stories that raise thought-provoking questions in interesting contexts.
This story does exactly that.

Ratings for "Brenda's Conquest"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

* "The Better To..." by M.M. Twassel (mmtwassel@aol.com). 
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179439173&fmt=raw 

This is a bizarre story; but possibly not as bizarre as this review. First,
let me point out that the author says that this story was inspired by Sarah
Fox Jahn's "Little Red Riding Hood," which was itself inspired by the fairy
tale of that same name published by the French poet and critic Charles
Perrault in 1697.

As you probably assume, I do extensive research for each of these reviews. Let
me tell you what I have learned from my on-line encyclopedia about fairy
tales. The ordinary fairy tale works with polarities - good and bad, beautiful
and ugly - and tells of the wondrous adventures of a heroes or heroines who,
after a series of struggles with supernatural forces, attain their wish and
live happily ever after. The protagonists are almost always royal or of royal
descent. That's the ORDINARY fairy tale. My encyclopedia goes on to tell me,
however, that such stories as Little Red Riding Hood and Jack the Giant Killer
differ in two important respects. First, their protagonists are often ordinary
people. Second, in addition to entertaining, most of these stories teach some
fairly hard lessons about the ways of the world. My encyclopedia says this
about Perrault's work (which includes "Red"): "What makes {his stories} a
children's book is really only his effort to keep the tales short. Otherwise,
their wit and sophistication imply--for later readers, at least--adult
listeners...." The present author's modern rendition, I suppose, emphasizes
that adult element.

On another note, I have seen authors use many terms to describe the lower
regions of the female anatomy - honey pot, love muffin, cumbucket, bearded
clam, beaver, furry hoop, unplowed garden, hairy taco, love tunnel, pleasure
pouch, shaven haven, rumpleteaser, and whicker biscuit, to name just a few;
but I cannot remember ever before reading about pudendal fleece caressing
anyone's cheek.

Half the time I couldn't figure out what was happening as I read this story;
but when I did figure it out, I had an "Oh, yeah!" reaction that was
delightful. Like most normal readers who are at least vaguely aware of the
fairy tale, I often tried to get ahead of the author by guessing what would
happen next; and then I would tell myself that the author had blown it and had
gotten away from the parallel to the original story, only to find a sudden
return to the original plot with another interesting twist. I love it when
authors do this to me.

I'm not going to tell you much about the story. Find it and read it yourself.
I am also going to repost my review of Sarah Jahn's story. Maybe she'll repost
her story for us.

Ratings for "The Better To..."
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

* "Little Red Riding Hood" by Sarah Jahn (sfjahn@ix.netcom.com). 
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=168680551&fmt=raw 

I enjoy sex stories based on fairy tales, because I usually know the basic
plot and I enjoy waiting to see how the perverted author will debase and
enrich the original story line. In this case, the wolf is a lusty lady who
could just eat Little Red all up. That's all you need to know; you can either
fill in the details yourself or read the story. I vaguely remember a
woodcutter or plumber or someone who showed up to rescue Little Red at the end
of the original story; I guess that's the part that this author changed. I
really enjoyed this cute little story. One anomaly: fairy tales usually have a
moral, but this story does not. I suppose that's because authors for this
newsgroup don't have any morals. <g>

Ratings for "Little Red Riding Hood
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

<end>
