Celestial Reviews 106 - Aug 7, 1996

Note: I have a backlog of really good stories right now.  If you have 
sent me a story and I have not yet reviewed it, please be patient.  
I’ll try to review them all as soon as possible.  Having too many good 
stories is kind of like having too much good sex - it’s not really a 
problem at all.

Second note: The people who write these stories do not get paid for 
doing so.  Their main motivations for writing these stories are (1) the 
inherent pleasure that comes from writing a good story and (2) the 
feedback they get from readers.  Plus - I guess the activity can 
improve their sex lives.  I strongly urge you to take the time to 
communicate with the authors.  You don’t have to have cybersex with 
them; just tell them what you think of their stories.  If you like a 
story, send a note to the author and tell him/her what you thought of 
the story.  If you do this once a month or so, you’ll make the lonely 
recluses who write these stories feel good, and you’ll increase the 
probability that we’ll continue to see good stories on a.s.s.


- Celeste

      “Jinsong” by Mary Anne Mohanraj (cyber romance) 
            10, 10, 10
      “Newhart: The Made Maid” by Uncle Mike (sitcom parody)
            10, 10, 10
      “Kim’s Passion” by Jocelyn Joyce (ff sex) 10, 9, 9
      “Carol” by Unknown Author (sex with coworker)
            9, 9, 10
      “Dark and Stormy Night” by Shelby Bush (sitcom parody)
            10, 10, 10
      “DNA II” by Stephanie (sci-fi transgender) 10, 10, 10
      “Role Reversals” by Nicolas Restif de la Bretonne (erotic
            ff dancing and sex) 9.5, 9.5, 10
      “Kayla and Martin” by Mark Aster (pregnant thoughts)
            10, 10, 10

“Jinsong” by Mary Anne Mohanraj (moh2@midway.uchicago.edu).  There’s 
incredible variety in this author’s writings.  This story started 
slowly.  At first I was concerned that I might have accidentally 
downloaded somebody’s garbled e-mail instead of the story I had 
expected.  Then I realized that the story was written in the form of e-
mail messages between a woman with the “handle” Jinsong (who has just 
broken up with her boyfriend) and a Pennsylvanian named Matthew 
Danzener (a shy guy who at first seems incapable of romance).  Matthew 
is extremely awkward in his communications, except when he speaks in 
poetry.  After a few mundane messages, Matthew hits Jinsong with a 627-
word poem that describes his anticipated first date with Jinsong.  What 
he wants to do is actually pretty tame; but it sure sounds great the 
way he puts it.  You’ll have to read the story yourself. It’s 
impossible to convey its mood without the e-mail and the poetry.

Ratings for “Jinsong”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

“Newhart: The Made Maid” by Uncle Mike (fr582@cleveland.Freenet.Edu).  
At first I was disappointed with this story.  I was expecting a parody 
of the Bob Newhart Show in which Bob plays a psychologist in Chicago.  
Instead I found a parody of the more recent Bob Newhart Show, in which 
Bob plays a writer who is also the owner of an Inn in New England.  I 
wasn’t as familiar with the latter series, and so I expected that I 
wouldn’t enjoy the parody as much.  I was very pleasantly surprised!

The plot is perfect; it actually fits in with the personalities and 
mannerisms of the characters.  Stephanie (the ditzy, lazy, rich girl 
who is a maid but never does any work) develops a rivalry with Joanna, 
and to prove her case she seduces Dick (the Bob Newhart character).  In 
retaliation, Joanna seduces Michael (Stephanie’s preppie boyfriend).  
In further retaliation, Joanna  tricks Stephanie into having sex with 
Larry and his two brothers (Daryl and Daryl).  Finally, to make amends 
Joanna  makes love to Stephanie herself.

As I said, the parody is very well done.  For example, it is easy to 
imagine the Bob Newhart character reacting just the way the author 
shows him as he is seduced by the young vixen.  I strongly recommend 
this story.

Ratings for “Newhart”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

“Kim’s Passion” by Jocelyn Joyce (71022.251@compuserve.com).  This is 
another excerpt from Spectrum Press (http://users.aol.com/specpress).  
This is chapter three of a novel, and it is necessary to speculate 
about the rest of the novel in order to put this chapter in context.

Kim is apparently a girl of Asian Indian descent who has somehow been 
brought into the household of Lady Anne for the purpose of giving 
pleasure to the older woman.  This chapter describes Kim’s initial, shy 
attempt to make love to the older woman.  They seem to be quite happy 
together; but it really would be helpful to have more of the context in 
order to evaluate this story effectively.

Ratings for “Kim’s Passion”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

“Carol” by Unknown Author.  This is another story reposted by the THC 
archives.  Although the story is attributed to Bubba’s Basement BBS 
(therrien@compu-net.com), there is no mention of a specific author’s 
name.  This is unfortunate, because this is a good story; and I would 
like to look for more of this author’s work.

The narrator is a tool and die maker who receives news that he will be 
assigned an apprentice.  He is at first resentful because she is a 
young woman (who “doesn’t belong on a man’s job”) and then embarrassed 
because his friends kid him about working with a woman.  He soon 
becomes attracted to her; and when he accidentally uses the shop 
expression "just a cunt hair more" while describing a measurement, 
their conversation turns to sex and he discovers that she fantasizes 
about him as often as he does about her.  They have a brief but hot 
affair until she goes back home to her family a few months later.

Ratings for “Carol”
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

“The Dark and Stormy Night” by Shelby Bush (stbush@iglou.com).  This 
story comes to us through the eyes of Mike, an ordinary television 
viewer with nothing better to do than to watch reruns on TV.  To his 
surprise, Herman and Lilly Munster are preparing to have sex in 
tonight’s episode.  Sure enough, Lilly turns on the electricity and 
Herman’s monster cock springs into action.  What’s going on here?  On 
another channel Mannix is humping Peggy, and he’s working around to her 
back door. Doc and Matt are getting ready to have a gunfight at Kitty’s 
corral in the room above the Longbranch; and Jeanie has blinked and is 
about to have her own wish granted with Major Nelson.  There’s 
something unusual going on with the fucking TV.  Literally.

Mike and his wife are at first confused, but then they decide to make 
the best of it and start doing the horizontal lambada themselves, while 
Ricky Nelson and his friends make their way to a whorehouse in the 
background.  For various reasons the channels keep changing while Bob 
and Carol practice parallel parking on the couch.  This enjoyable 
pastiche describes what a couple might do on a dark and stormy night 
when there’s nothing to do except watch the offerings of an oversexed 
television gone berserk.  It also explains why Ozzie and Harriet always 
had plenty of money but never seemed to go to work.

Ratings for “The Dark and Stormy Night”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

“DNA II” by Stephanie (an266891@anon.penet.fi).  This is a sequel to 
Stephanie’s “DNA,” to which I gave very favorable ratings several 
months ago.  The present story can stand alone, but it is easier to 
understand and enjoy if you have read the previous story.  In 
particular, some of the explanations at the end of the story may be 
easier to grasp if you have read “DNA I.”  Stephanie plans to repost 
both stories soon.

As “DNA II” begins, Paul has been changed into a half-male, half-female 
person by his girlfriend Anne, a genetic engineer who became upset at 
Paul for running around with other women.  Paul’s objective is to 
return to his original body, and while pursuing this goal he is faced 
with several interesting obstacles.  The story runs parallel to many 
popular, non-sexual, science fiction stories.  For example, the 
Incredible Hulk possesses unusual powers but wants to rid himself of 
those powers, and in his attempts to return to normal he encounters new 
problems in each episode.  Paul’s situation is similar to the Hulk’s, 
but his problems center on sexual situations - giving head to a cop to 
avoid a traffic arrest, falling in love with his young female roommate, 
etc.  All of this takes place against a background of scientific 
information that is probably impossible - but which is realistic enough 
to non-scientists like myself to make it all seem plausible.

The story is not a simple sexual odyssey; rather Paul’s problems and 
adventures are set in the context of a police vs. drug peddler drama.  
The villains are selling drugs; Paul stumbles into them; and the bad 
guys try to use the DNA power to transform people from one body to 
another in order to further their evil purposes.  Paul gets caught up 
with these criminals, and other people have their genders switched.  
Paul’s goal is to get out of this mess and to see to it that the bad 
guys get their comeuppance.  I won’t spoil the story for you by telling 
you all the details.  It’s a good story, and you should read it for 
yourself.  {“DNA III” is scheduled for release some time next year.}

Ratings for “DNA II”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

“Role Reversals” by Nicolas Restif de la Bretonne 
(restif@tuna.uchicago.edu).  This is not written by the real Nicolas 
Restif de la Bretonne, who was a well known 18th century French writer 
of erotica and social commentary and who is now presumably deceased.  
The story describes the visit of a couple to the Nouveau Monde Amoureux 
in Montreal, where the man arranges for a female dancer to dance 
privately for his wife, who has expressed a secret longing to make love 
to another woman.  The story switches viewpoints between the man’s and 
the woman’s, and this is awkwardly accomplished.  However, I suspect 
that this clumsiness may be the fault of the reposter rather than the 
original author, who writes very well.  I found it easy and erotic to 
imagine the dance taking place before my own hungry eyes.

Ratings for “Role Reversals”
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 9.5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

“Kayla and Martin” by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com).  Great news!  Pat 
is pregnant with twins!  In this story Pat and Our Hero meet Kayla and 
Martin in the lobby of a restaurant and join them for dinner.  Martin 
is obviously attracted to the pregnant Pat, while Our Hero plays 
footsie with Kayla.  After dinner they all go up to Kayla and Martin’s 
room for postprandial sex.  The author does his usual excellent job of 
choreographing several people having sex simultaneously.

Ratings for “Kayla and Martin”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

