Celestial Reviews 233 - November 12, 1997

Note:  Someone recently reposted "First Love," one of my favorite 
stories ever.  If anyone knows the name of the author, I'd like to 
obtain that information.  I want to repeat my recommendation that you 
should put both the title of any story you post and the name of the 
author IN THE MANUSCRIPT ITSELF. Uther Pendragon recently wrote the 
following in a.s.s.d.:

Putting your name on your *posts* isn't enough.  The title of your story 
should be followed by your byline.  The two of them should be on top of 
your story below all introductory material and warnings.  Then they 
should both be repeated at the end of the story.  I'm not talking about 
sigfiles;  I mean:

"THE END
Foretaste
Uther Pendragon"

Not only does this help prevent someone from stealing your story, it 
also helps other people (such as struggling reviewers) figure out who 
wrote the story and what its title is.  Stories often get separated from 
the cover messages that originally accompany them.  If all I have is the 
story and it has no author's name or title, I really cannot do a good 
job of reviewing it.  In addition, a reader who likes the story cannot 
contact the author or look for more stories by that author.

Second note:  (A joke from a cunning linguist)  An American businessman 
of Irish extraction had made his bundle, and decided to retire to the 
Emerald Isle and become a gentleman farmer. Upon arriving at the Old 
Sod, he bought some land with a farmhouse, then decided it was time to 
acquire some livestock. He thereupon began marching to the neighboring 
farm, to see what he could buy.

Halfway there, he came upon a local denizen riding on a donkey. "Hello 
there," said the American. "How much would you want for that handsome 
donkey of yours?"

"Twenty pounds, sir," said the local. "But here in Ireland we call it an 
ass, not a donkey."

"Very well," said our friend. "Here's twenty pounds." The money and the 
donkey changed hands, and our friend mounted his new steed and proceeded 
to ride to the next farm.

When he approached the farm, he saw his neighbor in the chicken coop, 
feeding his poultry. One brightly colored rooster immediately caught the 
American's eye.  "Top o' the mornin' to you, neighbor," he said. "How 
much would you want for that good-looking rooster there?"

"Two pounds, my friend," said the farmer. "But hereabout we call it a 
cock, not a rooster."

"You have a deal!" said the American, handing the farmer the money and 
taking the rooster. He placed the rooster under his arm, and proceeded 
to ride to the next farm to see if there were any bargains there.

The next farmer was also feeding his chickens when our friend arrived, 
and one chicken in particular stood out among all the rest.

"Hello neighbor," he said, pointing to that chicken. "I'd like to buy 
this chicken from you. How much would you want?"

"One pound would make you her proud owner," said the farmer. "But here 
in Ireland we call it a pullet, not a chicken."

"Right!" said the American, handing the farmer a pound note. Beaming 
with pride, he put the chicken under his other arm, and started riding 
back to his farm.

As he approached his property, a farmer atop a hay wagon suddenly 
appeared from beyond a curve in the road.   The donkey was startled and 
reared on its hind legs, throwing our friend to the ground. The rooster 
and the chicken, sensing their opportunity, quickly slipped away and 
began their escape. 

Our friend began frantically chasing his animals, but they proved to 
elusive to catch. Realizing he needed help, and remembering the local 
terminology, he turned to the farmer on the hay wagon.

"Excuse me sir!" he shouted, "Would you mind holding my ass while I grab 
my cock and pullet?"

Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews 
for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.

- Celeste

      "Under Cover" by Mike Hunt (phone sex) 10, 10, 10
      "Full House" by Unknown Author (sitcom parody with
            pedophilia) 8, 5, 3
      "The Choice" by Gamble (threesome in spirit-world)
            9, 9, 9
      "Tales of the East Indies" by Sven the Elder (exotic sex)
            10, 10, 10
      "A Dialogue Lesson" by Felix Lance Falkon (mm sex & grammar)
            10, 10, 10
      "Julie's Journey" by Vixen (threesome) 9, 7, 7
      "Erotic Hideaway" by LM 1 (romantic sex) 10, 10, 10
      "Catfight" by Mona (bdsm) 7, 7, 5

 Guest Reviews: 

      "The Island" by losgud (adult incest) 9, 8, 9
      "Rebel Monk of Wu Tang" by H.D. Meister (seduction)
            8, 4, 2
      "Boarding Pass" by Cynthia (airport sex) 10, 10, 9
      "Cream Rub" by Captain Atom (massage parlor suck & fuck)
            10, 8, 9
      "Exchange Program" by Clint Quinn (sci fi sex) 10, 9, 10
      "Just One Of The Guys" by Ann Douglas (gender reversal)
            9.5, 10, 10

Reposted Reviews:

    * "First Love" by Unknown Author (emerging adolescence
            & romance) 10, 10, 10
    * "Friction" by Mark Aster (threesome) 10, 9, 9
    * "Exchange Program" by Clint Quinn (sci fi sex) 10, 10, 10

* = Repost of previous review (because the story has recently been
      reposted)

"Under Cover" by Mike Hunt (MrM1ke@aol.com).  I know some of you readers 
think that I AM Mike Hunt.  That's possibly because I enjoy Mike Hunt so 
much and have great respect for Mike Hunt.  But to be honest, I have to 
admit that my admiration for Mike Hunt is based primarily on the fact 
that in a sophomoric way sentences like the previous one are a lot of 
fun to read out loud.  My brother used to have a similar affinity for 
people he referred to as I.P. Daily and Seymour Heine, the reputed 
authors of "The Yellow River" and "Under the Cheerleaders' Bench," 
respectively.

No, Mike Hunt is Mike Hunt - a unique author whose imagination sometimes 
astounds me.  Take the present story, for example.  Where would anyone 
get the idea for a plot about a guy who decides to do some investigative 
reporting on phone sex and then finds himself talking to a former 
classmate during his first interview?  Then when he visits her for an 
in-person interview, the phone-sex goddess builds a fantasy for a caller 
around her alleged experiences with Mike Hunt, who, of course, is 
sitting there in her "office" getting himself off while listening to her 
end of the conversation.  Where would a person get an idea for a story 
like this?  The simplest explanation is that it must be true.  However, 
the best explanation is that he probably got it from his cellmate.  
<Celeste 1, Mike Hunt 0>

One question I have is how did Jenny Sue get out of paying taxes?  I 
thought I was being really clever by managing to get out of taxes for my 
profits on Celestial Reviews. But my method {making no profit whatsoever 
and therefore being obligated to pay no taxes at all} pales in 
comparison to this woman's method.  I suspect her technique wouldn't 
really work; at the very least she'd have to have sex with several IRS 
or Bell Atlantic representatives.

Anyway, this is another good story.  And I haven't told you the half of 
it!  Well, actually I HAVE told you just about half of it, but you might 
as well read the story anyway.

Ratings for "Under Cover"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Full House" by Unknown Author. Ever since his teenage years Joey has 
known he was a pedophile.  And since Danny and his wife had  the girls 
he has never passed up the opportunity to visit and admire the girls as 
they grew up.  Now he is left alone with Stephanie, the cute little sex-
year-old. But Joey is a harmless guy; dirty thoughts are only in his 
mind.  The prospect of actually DOING anything with the girls is out of 
the question.  He will never get the opportunity; girls this age aren't 
interested in such things.  So he has only admired from a distance.  

But alas, Joey gets aroused during the movie he and Stephanie are 
watching and the little girl says, "Come on, Joey, show it to me!  
You've seen me plenty of times in the bath tub!"  You might think that 
things will get out of hand, but they don't.  Not at first anyway: he 
just fucks her orally and anally.  But then DJ and Kimmie catch him in 
the act, and Joey discovers that the whole pathological family is into 
pedophilia and incest.  In its own dysfunctional way, this is a 
heartwarming story, I suppose.  But it really is not a very good parody 
of the TV sitcom with this title.

Ratings for "Full House"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 3

"The Choice" by Gamble (eledin@netcom.com). Rashena's husband Eleron has 
been seduced into some sort of spirit world by a mysterious, sensuous 
female creature. In an attempt to recover Eleron's full affection, 
Rashena follows him into that spirit world.  But the spirit's power is 
so great that she coerces Rashena also into a sensuous threesome.  If 
you can't lick 'em, join 'em.

This is a first story by a new author.  It could have benefited from 
some proofreading, but it's already pretty good.  I hope to see more 
from this author.

Ratings for "The Choice"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

"Tales of the East Indies" by Sven the Elder (sven@brass-
neck.demon.co.uk).  This story struck me as a sort of a cross between a 
Joseph Conrad short story and a couple of those letters in the Penthouse 
Forum that I claim I never read on the plane when I've been away from my 
husband for a long time so that I'm horny as hell by the time I get into 
his arms.  Meanwhile, he....  Ooops!  I'll save that for my next letter 
to the Forum.

The story covers the author's recent visit to "one of the more civilised 
parts of South East Asia" - that part of the world where they are so 
genteel and "civilised" that they use names like "Bang Cock" for major 
cities and people have names like "Low Hung Dong."  The sex is 
interesting and nicely described.  

Anyway, by messing around on this trip, the narrator of this story 
(which is all true, except the bits he made up, and even they might be 
true), improves his relationship with his wife.  I have serious doubts 
about the authenticity of that statement.  However, the story about his 
escapades DID improve my relationship with my husband, and least for a 
half hour or so.
 
Ratings for "Tales of the East Indies"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"A Dialogue Lesson" by Felix Lance Falkon (owlswick@netaxs.com).  I 
don't review very many male/male sex stories - mostly because I'm too 
busy reviewing stories that involve females.  However, when I stumbled 
across this little gem, I thought I should share it with you.

The basic idea is that the author uses the story itself (about two guys 
having sex) to demonstrate how to punctuate a dialogue between two 
people.  It's very cleverly done; and if you can keep your mind off the 
sex (which should be easy, if you're not a gay man), you can learn a lot 
from this example.

Ratings for "A Dialogue Lesson"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Julie's Journey" by Vixen (nymph@sirius.com).  Julie has traveled a 
long distance to meet her boyfriend.  She meets a woman on the final leg 
of her trip and invites her to come along with her; and, well, she cums 
along with her.  The boyfriend is delighted, and a good time is had by 
all.

Ratings "Julie's Journey"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7

"Erotic Hideaway" by LM 1 (RNRH85C@prodigy.com).  This is a really 
simple but well-written story about a man and a woman who are deeply in 
love with each other and who go away for a romantic tryst at a mountain 
cabin.  There's not much else to say about it.  Read it with someone you 
love.

Ratings "Erotic Hideaway"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Catfight" by Mona (edited by Kathy) (From Kristen's Collection < 
kristen78@aol.com>).

Yesterday at lunch I was walking through the cafeteria, when I heard a 
male voice shout "Catfight!" as he rushed out the door.  I followed the 
crowd and found two blonde bimbos -  er, students - grappling viciously 
on the ground.  I grabbed the top girl, and a male teacher seized the 
other.  After I pulled mine to her feet, she lunged at me; and I grasped 
her hand in a simple wrist lock; whereupon, she said, "God!  You're 
killing me!"  I answered that maybe that would be a good reason to move 
along to the principal's office quickly.

This story explains what I SHOULD have done.  Sort of.  Basically, it's 
a rehash of "It's My Party and I'll Humiliate You Publicly If You Fuck 
with My Hunk If I Want To."  It's probably a decent story (without 
jello, of course) for people who like this sort of thing.  Personally, I 
think with a little work, my own story would be better.  {As we entered 
the door to the principal's office, there was Miss Johnson, sprawled 
across the principal's desk with her ass almost glistening in the 
sunlight, moist from his tongue, which was gently rimming....}

Ratings "Catfight"
Athena (technical quality): 7
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5

"The Island" by losgud (lushgod@hotnomail.com).  Guest review by 
Bookman.

Coming off the rubble of "The Amazing Adventures of Penis Boy", I found 
this story to be like a high hard dose in an oxygen bar.  Clean, clear, 
and fresh.

Actually, the two stories shouldn't even be mentioned together, for 
"Island" is a very good story.  The narrator is a 40-ish man who goes 
out to an isolated family cabin to prepare for the rest of the family's 
arrival for an upcoming holiday.  Looking forward to some time alone, he 
is mildly chagrined when his married daughter decides to come along.  
Then daughter comes along. . .

"Island" stands above the usual Daddy Does Daughter crowd of incest 
stories in several respects.  One, the parties are of an age where, even 
though they are related, they can choose for themselves; and two, these 
people genuinely like and respect each other.  At no time is there even 
a hint that either party is taking undue or unfair advantage of the 
other, so that the relationship is free of a taint that many other 
writers doing incest stories would like to ignore but can't quite get 
away from.

Losgud gives his protagonist a laconic, amusing voice and attitude that 
makes him a character I, for one, would like to know in person.  The 
daughter is less well visualized, which leaves the reader unfortunately 
stuck solely in the narrator's head.  We never really see the forces 
that move her to her (what must be life-changing) decision.  She offers 
a vague "this-is-something-I've-always-wanted-to-do" kind of reasoning, 
which I found unsatisfying, given the rich reality woven for the 
character of the father.

The humorous voice of the narrator, one of the central features in the 
construction of the story, is also disturbing, on a basic level.  
Losgud's words drawl across the page, making the father a likable person 
in his own right, but they have the counter effect of diluting the sex 
when it finally arrives.  There's no way an author (go ahead, prove me 
wrong, folks) can maintain that kind of self-mocking attitude going 
through an intense sex scene.  {Actually, take a look at Mike Hunt or 
Friar Dave- Celeste.}  Either the very single-minded concentration 
demanded to make the sex hot will obviate the self-mockery, or the sense 
of humor will make the intensity of the sex scene seem hollow and silly.  
Losgud tries to go for hot-and-heavy, but doesn't achieve it, and the 
final result is a haphazard warm-and-romantic.  The story maintains its 
integrity as a whole, but one senses the lack of a commitment to the 
act, and the changed relationship implied by the act, that would have 
brought the entire incident into sharper focus.

The story is posted in two parts, and the reader is left with the vague 
feeling that there's a Part 3 lurking out there somewhere.  These two 
people have started changes in their lives that will ripple out in 
unseeable directions.  Losgud's ending only hints at what those 
directions might be.

Technically, very good.  I only found one typo, which means the more 
obsessive of you are now free to go perusing through the story to find 
what it was.

Ratings for "Island"
Athena: 9
Venus: 8
Apollo: 9

"Perverted Monks: Rebel Monk of Wu Tang" by H.D. Meister 
(dez187lm@hotmail.com).  Guest review by Sven the Elder.

The Author starts by saying that, and I quote - "I've been told that the 
best way to enjoy a masterpiece is to look at the entire work first."

Now that just happens to be the way I review stories as well.  Except 
that this gave me a problem.  Generally, as I read something, an idea - 
an approach, whatever, begins to gel in my mind as to how I can proceed, 
what direction I can take, what slant to put on things. But after my 
first and second read through's of this story there was nothing, other 
than the somewhat unkind thought that as an entry for alt.sex.*stories* 
{my emphasis} - this was almost an off-topic post.

There I feel better for that, now let's look in a little more detail at  
what is going on. This is a description of the author of both himself 
and the way, almost  clinically,  that he goes about, in a very 
streetwise way, seducing young women in his environment.  It is short - 
a couple of pages;  given the length, it is very fact-oriented; it is 
also quite well constructed.  It is also pretty short on entertainment  
value.  Hence my earlier comment that it was close to being off-topic.  
I have to say  that the style, the introduction, almost the apology for 
the writer's background have  little to do with my rejection.  It would 
not matter if the author were green, came  from Mars, and had sex by 
sticking his finger in either his own or his partner's ear;  I like to 
be entertained.   I find that the various very good and established (and 
also the  not so established) writers and contributors to our sexy, 
fantasy world, mostly do this to great success.  Some a little tongue-
in-cheek, some with great  seriousness, others with either great 
eroticism or romanticism.  But all with one common  theme - they seek to 
entertain.  Sadly this tract is too matter of fact, too clinical  and as 
a story has no development. Sorry, not for me; and as you can imagine my 
ratings reflect that.

Ratings for "Rebel Monk of Wu Tang"
Technical quality: 8
Plot & character:  4
Sven (appeal to reviewer):  2

"Boarding Pass" by Cynthia (Versutiae@aol.com).  Guest review by Dart.

A couple, each with a career to pursue, may find it difficult to arrange 
their schedules in order to be together. She travels, he travels: but 
with luck their paths cross frequently enough that their physical need 
for each other gets satisfied.

Well, for Tim and Adrienne, luck has recently been eluding them. They're 
desperate for each other, but they're on their way to the airport, since 
she has a plane to catch. And their ministrations during the drive only 
have the effect of heightening their mutual frustration. They arrive at 
the airport fifteen minutes before her boarding call, fifteen minutes to 
spend together. At the gate, he rubs her shoulders, trying to ease her 
tension, soften their parting. It doesn't work. They kiss; they rub; 
they get stared at.

Fifteen minutes later, she boards her flight a very happy frequent 
flyer. You'll have to read the story to discover their innovative 
solution - innovative and a little improbable. At least, I wouldn't have 
had the courage to implement it.

This is a nicely written and nicely paced story. What I most liked about 
the story, other than the couple's daring of course, was their affection 
for each other.

Ratings for "Boarding Pass"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Dart (appeal to reviewer): 9

"Cream Rub" by Captain Atom (captatom@thepentagon.com). Guest Review by 
M1ke Hunt.

"Cream Rub" by Captain Atom is one of those simple fuck and suck stories 
that readers around here seem to enjoy. Of course it would be only fair 
to note that there's no fucking or sucking in the piece, but if you 
ponder the hidden meaning in the title you can probably figure out what 
the story's about.

Technically proficient, not much character development, but quite 
appealing. Especially if you haven't been to a massage parlor lately.

Damn. Gave away the surprise twist ending.

Ratings for "Cream Rub"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8 
Mikeus (appeal to reviewer): 9

"Exchange Program" by Clint Quinn. Guest review by M1KE HUNT.  {Note 
from Celeste:  I originally reposted a guest review of this story back 
in CR 194.  I could pretend that I am doing a validity check - sending 
the story to a second reviewer to check for consistency; but actually 
what we have here is a case of the original review arriving about five 
months late, after I had reassigned it to someone else.  Since I never 
ignore anything by Mike Hunt <I love to read Mike Hunt sentences out 
loud!>, I'm posting Mike's review here.  I'll repost the other review 
(by Michael K. Smith) at the end of this issue.  As you can see, they 
are in agreement that this is a good story.  Now maybe somebody will 
repost this story....} 

S'pose, just for the sake of argument, you met a girl who looked 15 but 
was really 40, and s'pose she'd never had sex, and s'pose she asked you 
to teach her about it. Oh, and I forgot to mention, s'pose she was an 
alien from the planet Welnaria. You'd still "do it," right?

Luckily female Welnarians are anatomically the same as female humans, 
but for males the Welnarian penis is just three centimeters long, oh, 
and on Welnaria sex is only for procreation, not recreation. Well 
naturally lady Welnaria is curious when she happens upon (literally) the 
standard earthling package. Hell, she'd have even thought *I* was big.

"Exchange Program" is a cute sci-fi story about Welnarian sex, or the 
lack of it. If the "sci-fi" parts scares you off, don't let it, because 
there's not much of it here. In fact, the story could have been about 
first-sex for a 15-year-old without much of a rewrite. The author 
doesn't spend a lot of time conjuring up futuristic images for the 
backdrop, but that's OK, because it's a bright read even without it.

It's worth a few minutes of your time, especially if your spaceship is 
stuck at Galaxon 5 because of the neutron particle bombardment in the 
Xy-4 ring that's been screwing up everybody's travel schedule lately.

Ratings for "Exchange Program"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9 
Mikeus (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Just One Of the Guys" by Ann Douglas (annd@pop.tiac.net). Guest Review 
by Piper.

Oh, dear.  Terry Griffith has gotten herself into a rather awkward 
situation.  How did he do this?  Simple.  She went on a double date. 
What's wrong with that, you ask?  After all, at 18, he's likely been out 
on a few double dates before.  The difference with this one is that the 
date is with Sandy, a beautiful young lady.

If you're wondering, Terry is actually a young woman, a high school 
senior in this story.  She wants to be a writer, a newspaper columnist; 
and she's very serious about it.  Unfortunately, *serious* doesn't seem 
to hold any weight with the teachers when you're beautiful and have legs 
that go on forever.  This comment, from the school paper's faculty 
adviser, seems to summarize everyone's attitude, including her boyfriend 
and younger brother:

     "You should have something to fall back on if you don't make it 
      as a reporter.   You're a pretty girl, you could be a model."

In a sort of twist on the _Victor/Victoria_ theme, Terry switches 
schools, and switches genders.  *She* is now *he*.

My advice?  Girls, if you want to masquerade as a guy, don't get 
cornered into going out on a double date.  If you do get talked into it, 
don't agree with going to the local make-out spot.  If you find yourself 
there anyway, don't let the other couple disappear, and don't get half 
corked.  If everything goes wrong and you find yourself alone with your 
date in a dark, sandy cave and you're not quite sober, do not - I repeat 
- do not let your date stick her hand down your pants.  

Too bad Terry didn't have the benefit of my advice ;-).

I liked this story.  Despite appearances, it's not really a TG type of 
story, since Terry doesn't really want to be a man.  She just wants the 
kind of respect a man automatically gets in a man's world (still a 
truth, even today).  Also, this is a rather light-hearted look into the 
problem, one that only touches on the serious side of this premise.  My 
only real quibble is technical.  The storyline is tight, but the 
proofreading is incomplete.  Commas are occasionally used 
inappropriately, as are periods.  Normally this isn't a problem, 
especially if the author is doing this to create a particular feel or 
mood, but in this case, the errors actually interfere with the smooth 
flow of the story.  

Ratings for "Just One Of The Guys"
      Technical merit    9.5
      Plot and character 10
      Appeal to reviewer 10

* "First Love" by Unknown Author. This story presents an interesting 
paradox.  I don't know who wrote it or how it got posted.  I want to 
review it and give it some publicity, because it is good.  On the other 
hand, I don't want to violate the author's copyright privileges.  I 
don't mind associating with and befriending people who write about 
topics that are taboo to "decent society"; in fact I find most of the 
people who write for and lurk on this newsgroup to be interesting, 
intelligent people with whom I share common interests.  But I draw the 
line at copyright infringement.  The authors work hard on these stories, 
and they deserve to receive credit for their own work.

Using simple logic, since I know two people who say they got this story 
through this newsgroup, I think I can assume that it was posted here at 
least once.  In general people who post are willing to have their work 
reposted in the same forum; or even better, they'll repost it themselves 
if they become aware of the request to do so.  Therefore, what I am 
going to do is post this REVIEW and let someone else (either a reposter 
like Red Dragon, who seems to have an extensive collection, or the 
author him/herself) repost the actual story.

After I read the first few lines of this story, I simply could not put 
it down.  This story is long - real long - nearly 95,000 words long.  I 
knew I should have been correcting my students' papers and going over 
the next day's lesson; but I rationalized by telling myself that this 
story was about kids like those I teach, and this story would help me 
understand those kids better.  Right!  That's the ticket!  Read this 
story for its pedagogical value.

The story focuses primarily on a young girl going through her high 
school years and her first sexual experiences.  Aside from its 
interesting plot, what I liked most about this story was its realistic 
use of interesting details and events.  For example, without realizing 
that the answering machine is recording his entire conversation, Matt 
brags to his friend on the telephone about his conquest of Jen.  His 
parents listen to the recording and have to confront him.  Later, Matt 
gets beat up by Jen's former boyfriend.  When he gets home afterwards, 
his mother hastily assumes that Jen had something to do with the beating 
and angrily drags Matt off to Jen's house to confront her.  It is 
difficult to predict the reaction of the protagonists to these subtle 
but interesting events; and they greatly enrich the plot as it unfolds.

Jen and the others in the story experience occasional communication 
problems  - usually arising from moods and an inability to express 
emotions correctly.  These problems are common among young people going 
through adolescence.  The author understands these problems thoroughly 
and does a good job of setting them up and bringing them to resolution.

What this story actually reads like is a juiced-up Judy Blume novel.  
I'm certain it's not, since I have read all of that author's 
acknowledged work.  Wouldn't it be nice if kids could read and discuss a 
book like this in their English classes?  They can't, of course, because 
it talks about kids having sex and uses words like clit, cum, and cunt.  
The characters also engage in ecstatic sex that is a lot of fun and in 
irresponsible activities that cause them really serious problems.  Of 
course, since high school kids don't have sex and don't know the meaning 
of clit, cum, and cunt, they shouldn't read a story like this - even if 
the vicarious experience might help them deal with some of those 
problems in their own lives.  They should read "The Scarlet Letter" and 
"Moby Dick" instead.  The good news is that in schools all over the 
country we are forcing kids to read Hawthorne and Melville, and their 
predominant reaction is to think those authors really suck.  Kids mean 
nothing personal against those authors when they say things like that - 
they have no idea what those stories are about anyway, unless they read 
Cliff's Notes.  Since the present story is banned for them, they'll 
almost certainly read it, enjoy it, and learn from it.  I certainly hope 
somebody reposts this story soon, so that the young people who don't 
lurk on this newsgroup can not read it.

Ratings for "First Love"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Friction" by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com).  There is trouble in 
paradise.  Mike (a lesbian introduced last week in "Dykes Crossing") and 
Our Hero (the lad who has performed the honors of impregnating Pat) 
appear to be in direct competition - vying for Pat's attention and 
affection.  Julie (Pat's younger but equally lascivious sister) suggests 
a solution: a joint emboikment, with Our Hero filling Pat's anal cavity 
while Mike works the front side.  Will the dyke and the hetboy work out 
their hostilities and become friends?  Will Pat feel exploited by this 
competition among her suitors? And to what activity or abstract concept 
does the title refer?  You can probably guess the answers, but you 
should read the story to see what the author has to say.

Ratings for "Friction"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

* "Exchange Program" by Clint Quinn (A+ Story). Classic science fiction 
is a tough genre in which to cast believable murder mysteries and erotic 
romances. (We're talking about "strange new worlds" here, not 
cyberpunk.) Asimov managed mysteries and this author does a very 
creditable job with erotica.

Alain has gotten fed up with academic politics on Earth and emigrates to 
the idyllic pioneer planet of New Ontario (which leads me to suspect the 
author is Canadian . . .). Just as he arrives at his destination, his 
sister, Claudine, possessor of a legendary libido, is headed out to the 
world of Welnaria for a month. Her Welnarian exchange is Kera, a 
slightly modified human woman who appears to be an adolescent but is 
actually an acutely formal forty-plus years of age. The Welnarians have 
given up sex-for-pleasure in exchange for reproductive control; they now 
assume themselves to be irretrievably "numbed," as Kera puts it. But we 
know better, don't we?

Mr. Quinn has a very smooth style and succeeds in evoking the energetic, 
liberated personality of a society made up largely of disgusted self-
exiles for whom Earth no longer offers opportunities.  (Alain's new best 
friend is Grigor, a Russian quantum- mechanic-turned-tractor-mechanic.) 
He also handles semi-alien sex very nicely, . . . though I would like to 
know just what Kera is saying when, in the throes of passion, she 
exclaims "Oss novit capetla!"

The author also knows his grammar and can use a dictionary. He even 
knows that "lay" is the proper past tense of the intransitive verb "to 
lie" -- a knowledge I wish were shared by more posters. However, he 
seems not to realize that in dialogue, only one item of punctuation is 
needed to close a quote: A comma alone will do, but not a comma with a 
period, exclamation, or question mark. (Really a minor error, 
considering his obvious skill, but a reviewer has to find _something_ to 
pick on.)

This is one of Ray Velez's reposted "A+ Stories," originally posted in 
1995. DejaNews shows only one other (non-sf) erotic story posted by this 
author, which is a shame; New Ontario is a promising setting for more 
stories of this quality.
 
Ratings for "Exchange Program"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Smith (appeal to reviewer): 10


