



                       VACATION PHOTO

                             by 

                        Joe Whatever



The 31-year-old woman fidgeted nervously on the hard bench outside 
the principal's office.  Perhaps it was the juvenile uniform, or 
the fact that she was in foreign country, but Lisa was growing 
increasingly agitated.

Where was Maria?

Lisa had thought it was hysterical when her friend Maria suggested 
that she change into a school uniform for her picture with the 
principal.  Lisa was a high school principal herself, and she knew 
the gag photo would make a wonderful souvenir of her trip to visit 
her old friend Maria here in Mexico.

Lisa stood and nervously examined her reflection in the window.  
She had always looked young, but, robbed of her high heels, makeup, 
and crisp business suit, she was just other nervous teenager 
sitting outside the principal's office.

The pigtails and white knee-socks added immeasurably to the effect, 
even if they did make Lisa feel ridiculous.

And why did the damn skirt have to be so SHORT?

She nervously pressed her knees together in a desperate attempt to 
hide her regulation white underpants.

"You look EXACTLY like a student!" Maria had chortled as she locked 
Lisa's purse and clothes in her desk.  "I need to get my camera 
out of the car, but I'd better give you a pass, young lady," she 
added, pedantically.

"Hmmm.  I'm out of hall passes," she said, with a sly smile, "but 
I have another type of pass that will get a young lady like you to 
the principal's office straightaway."

Lisa had fooled the hall monitor easily.  But, when the pimply 
18-year-old boy rubbed his fanny and winked at her, Lisa suspected 
something was wrong.

Lisa's Spanish was terrible, but, as she tensely waited on the 
bench, she perused the "pass," a small slip of paper with the 
words "PETICIÓN DE DISCIPLINA" across the top.

A discipline request?

Lisa used the Spanish/English dictionary in the bookcase next to 
her seat to look up the items Maria had specified:

Chica insolente - insolent girl
Palo - cane
Correa - strap
Posaderas desnudas - bare bottom
Tiempo de la esquina - corner time

And then there were the two words Maria had scrawled and underlined 
on the bottom of the form: "humillación máxima."

Lisa looked up at the loudly ticking clock.  Where in hell was 
Maria?  

Lisa felt queasy as she recalled that day, 15 years ago, when 
she let Maria, then new to America, take the fall for the pack 
of cigarettes that Lisa herself had brought to school.

It was a cruel trick to play on a new arrival.  Maria's inability 
to speak much English had left her defenseless in the principal's 
office.

Even so, Maria's English was better then than Lisa's Spanish was 
now.

Revenge, after 15 years, would certainly be a cold enough dish.

Lisa looked at the glass case displaying dozens of photos of 
tearful, bare-bottomed students with bright red fannies.

Her knees began to quiver as she realized just how revealing her 
vacation photos were going to be.



Edited by C. Lakewood

