Celestial Reviews 4 - July 18, 1995 - by Celeste

"Summer Slave" by GIL.  (Slavery/bondage)  No rating
"First Time Dream" by Dorothy Long. (Adolescent ff love) 6.5
"Catty Corner" by Sue  (Voyeurism & mutual masturbation) 10
"Louvre Love" by Sue  (Sex & Fantasy in the Louvre) 7.5
"For Bruce" by Mercury (Poetic Gay Reminiscence) 10
"Strip Chess" by Delta (Hot, hot time at the chessboard) 10
"The Traveller's Introduction" by The Ferrous Juggler 
(Slavery/sm) 5. 
"Melodies" by The Ferrous Juggler (Slavery/sm) 6.5. 
"Couch" by deirdre (Voyeurism) 8
"Run" by deirdre (I can't describe it - humor!) 8
"Dreamwalk" (erotic dreamlike gentle sex) 10
"Honeymoon" by Parker (Slavery/sm) 3
"Fun with Dick & Jane Part 2" (Mindless sex) 3
"Sirens" by David Cain (Cunnilingus) 6
"Lab Partners" by WithSue (Very hot, gentle threesome) 10


"Summer Slave" by GIL.  This is not my type of story.  I only read part 
1 of 10, and I'm not going to bother downloading the rest.  For those 
of you who would like to see what the slavery/bondage stories are like 
(or if you already like that genre), this sounds like a good example.  
I guess I can understand how this kind of thing could be sexy; after 
all, I've had religion teachers tell me it was an honor to be a slave 
of God!  And imagining it would certainly be better than doing it; and 
this is a generally literate presentation of the story.  But I just 
can't imagine myself calling my husband "Master" and answering to the 
name "Slut" and letting him lead me around by a collar or by 
contraptions connected to my nipples - nor can I imagine admiring a man 
who would want to do these things.  I doubt that I'll review any more 
stories in this category, unless a writer requests it or someone 
convinces me to take a different approach.  (No rating)

"First Time Dream" by Dorothy Long.  This is a simple story of two 
young ladies having gentle sex together for the first time.  The story 
concludes with the statement that the protagonist realized that night 
that she was a lesbian and that she loved who she was.  (The following 
sentences of this review should not be construed as anti-lesbian.  Keep 
an open mind for a minute.)  It is likely that some young girls reading 
a.s.s will come across this story and be tempted to conclude that they 
are "lesbians."  I found out in a psychology course I once took that 
about 75% of heterosexual adult females report having or at least 
fantasizing heavily about a similar experience.  It just happens that 
our high schools and colleges and the workplace are filled with 
emotionally immature young boys who are running around looking for 
young girls into whom they can stick their cocks.  Sexual encounters 
with these guys are not likely to be wonderfully fulfilling.  After 
girls deal with enough of these jerks, they often find that it's really 
nice to fondle, caress, and have mutual orgasms with someone more 
mature; and this someone is often a close girlfriend.  This leads to an 
easy comparison: girls are better than boys to have sex with.  It would 
not be sensible for a young girl to conclude on the basis of this 
comparison alone that she "is a lesbian."  It's a good idea for girls 
to keep an open mind until they deal with some more mature boys; and 
the psychologists tell us that boys mature in their sexual attitudes a 
lot more slowly than girls.  At least that's what the prof said. (And 
incidentally, she herself was a lesbian.)  Again, I am not saying that 
what happened in the story is wrong or depraved (actually, I think it 
was beautiful); nor am I suggesting that it is "bad" to be a lesbian.  
I just think some of the stories in a.s.s. can lead young people to 
make premature conclusions about themselves.  The less than perfect 
rating I'm giving to this story is not at all based on the preceding 
sentences; the story was written a bit roughly.  A little proofreading 
would make it read a lot more smoothly.  (Rating: 6.5)

"Catty Corner" by Sue.  I loved this story.  So many writers on a.s.s. 
can describe hot sex; but Sue has the knack of putting it into the 
context of a really creative story.  This one comes with a double 
whammy - a voyeur watching a voyeur and then the voyeurs watching each 
other.  I just resolved earlier today to be a little rougher in my 
ratings.  I also resolved to give my husband a break from passion 
tonight.  Oh, well; there go my resolutions.  (Rating: 10)

"Louvre Love" by Sue.  As I started reading this story, I was 
impressed.  I thought Sue was going to pull off a really erotic story 
just on the basis of the art in the Louvre.  The girl could look at the 
guy who's getting a hard-on while looking at a painting and start 
blending her thoughts with his.  I said to myself, "I hope she doesn't 
just have the girl take the guy to the ladies' room and give him a 
blowjob."  Well, they didn't go to the ladies' room; they went to an 
exotic storage room instead.  There's a good porn film by Femme (I 
don't remember the title; and no, I don't watch a lot of porn) that 
contains a sequence of a woman and man in a museum, with the woman 
fantasizing what she'd like to do with the man.  I was hoping that Sue 
would do something similar in this story - bring the protagonists to 
private orgasms right there in the museum on the basis of the erotic 
thoughts they derive from the artwork.  Actually, I'm probably the only 
one who would like my version of the story.  It must have something to 
do with those lonely times in high school when the hottest pictures 
this horny little girl could get my hands on were the art paintings 
with those sensuous gods and goddesses.  (Rating: 7.5)

"For Bruce" by Mercury.  As a reviewer, I have felt required to read 
and be objective about stories that don't fit my own lifestyle.  This 
story makes that job easy.  It's a beautiful, poetic reminiscence by a 
man about his former lover.  This may be obvious to most of you, but 
what occurred to me as I was reading this was that my "lifestyle" isn't 
all that different.  I could insert my own hetero lover into this story 
in place of Bruce, and the story still made perfect sense.  The story 
was not very explicit, and I still don't really know what happened; but 
that's what gives it its haunting beauty.  (Rating: 10)

"Strip Chess" by Delta.  This is one of my favorite ever stories.  Some 
people resist downloading stories that are nine parts long, but this 
one is worth it.  A group of college kids get together for an evening 
of fun, and someone suggests playing strip poker.  Knowing she has no 
chance at the card game, one of the girls suggests strip chess instead, 
with the winner getting the body of the loser.  (The observers make 
side bets and do things to distract the players).  The only bad part 
about this story is that I had serious problems with my concentration 
the next time I tried to play chess.  Really!  You don't have to know 
chess to love this story, but the chess will make sense to good chess 
players.  And the sex fantasies make sense to good sex players.  
(Rating: 10)

"The Traveller's Introduction" by The Ferrous Juggler.  I would never 
have found this story, except that the author was kind enough to send 
me an advance copy to review.  It was listed as GETA1041.TXT.  This is 
one of those slavery fantasies.  "Anyone (sic) idiot can train an 
animal to avoid a whip, however, the real talent lies in making a 
person enjoy something so much that he or she will even great pain just 
to achieve the pleasurable feelings."  OK.  I think this is probably a 
decent example of this genre.  The grammar and style are a bit 
incoherent, but maybe slave owners or doms or whatever aren't into 
grammar and style.  My problem is that if it's a bad idea to beat 
people and treat them like objects in order to make them pick cotton 
more efficiently, why is it a good idea to do this to them in order to 
get sexual kicks?  The story made me feel uncomfortable, but so did 
"Fatal Attraction," and that was a great movie.  A couple of my readers 
have written to assure me that lots of really good men who would never 
do anything like this enjoy thinking about it.  One writer said that 
I'd probably never understand this.  Maybe he's right.  I don't even 
understand the title of the story.  (Rating: 5)

"Melodies" by The Ferrous Juggler. This is another story by the same 
author as the previous one.  This time I understood the title.  This 
story is much more clearly written.  I still don't like this kind of 
story.  I would hate to have someone do this to me - although I have 
read enough about Pavlov to know that you can condition people to 
almost anything.  As a woman, I can understand how it would be 
fulfilling to do almost anything to please someone I loved; but the 
women in these stories are desperate to become slaves to just about 
anybody.  I'm glad I'm in love with someone who gets turned on by 
seeing me get turned on, instead of by training me to suffer for him.  
Incidentally, neither of these stories mentions the *safeword*.  I 
expect that somebody is going to read these stories and then act out 
their fantasies.  (I don't recommend it, but I think it will happen.)  
The safeword basically refers to the idea that the recipient needs a 
way to say stop if he/she really wants it to stop.  Check out the FAQ 
to alt.sex.bondage for more information. (Rating: 6.5)

"Couch" by deirdre.  A recent "Re" comment in a.s.s. panned deirdre as 
"the Jane Austen of porn."  This critic meant the comment in a negative 
way.  Jane Austen's books would definitely be more interesting if she 
would stop talking and get right down to the sex.  Deirdre probably 
took the reference as a compliment; what deirdre does really well is 
build up a scenario that leads into the sex.  And sometimes I imagine a 
lot more than she writes - which is the mark of a good writer.  
(Incidentally, if I ever find a story to be really boring, I'll refer 
to the author as the "Henry James of porn."   That man couldn't fuck 
Daisy Miller even with a Turn of his Screw... never mind.)  The climax 
of this story comes when the neighbor is getting screwed by her husband 
and makes eye contact with and blows a kiss to the voyeur outside the 
window, just a few inches away.  Good story.  But more like Charlotte 
Bronte.  (Rating: 8)

"Run" by deirdre.  Here's what happened.  I had five new deirdre 
stories on my hard disk, and I only wanted to review two of them.  In 
addition to writing these reviews and teaching English, I run and study 
karate.  So I decided to read "Run."  I've always enjoyed fantasies 
about sex among runners; and I once lived out a fantasy by running in 
front of some guy and wiggling my ass to turn him on.  I never even 
spoke to the guy, but I'll bet he had the mother of all jock rashes by 
running with a raging hard-on for about three miles.  So "Run" was my 
choice for the second story.  Only this story is about a guy who is 
living with his sister who makes him dress like a girl so that her 
married boyfriend will get turned on by thinking they're being watched 
by a female voyeur, but the boyfriend decides to screw the girl (who's 
really a guy) and the whole thing develops into a group sm gangbang 
with the boyfriend's wife and friends.  Deirdre says that some of the 
things she writes about are just fantasies!  Really?  I thought this 
story was hilarious.  Deirdre writes in such a way that I was 
constantly surprised by what happened next.  I think people will enjoy 
this story - even if they're not expecting a sensual trot in the park, 
like I was.  Jane Austen would not approve of this story.  (Rating: 8)

"Dreamwalk" by Delta.  Have you ever had one of those dreams that 
seemed so vivid that you weren't sure whether you were awake or not?  
And then you decide to wake up and you think you have awakened; but 
you're not sure, because maybe you only dreamed you woke up.  The man 
in this story is approached in the middle of the night by a mysterious, 
beautiful neighbor who informs him that he is in her dream - and a 
nice, hot dream it is.  Delta maintains the necessary mixture of 
reality and unreality beautifully.  Where does she get ideas like this? 
Another excellent story.  (Rating: 10)

"Honeymoon" by Parker.  After giving the preceding three stories high 
ratings, I sat down at my computer to read my first Parker story.  This 
one is about a man who gives his beautiful young wife a surprise gift 
for their honeymoon - her former English professor as a sex slave.  
Needless to say, she had been a prissy but sexy bitch (so far that 
sounds accurate), and so she probably deserved this reduction to 
chattel servitude.  They humiliate her in various ways while they 
satisfy their sexual urges.  The story also gives a description of this 
alleged slave trade.  If this really happens, it's a bunch of crap.  
I'm trying not to be a prude.  I see the point in and actually enjoyed 
the voyeurism in deirdre's "Couch." I also gave a high rating to "Run," 
which had an sm/slavery twist; but it didn't dwell on how much fun it 
would be to degrade someone.  In "Dreamwalk" the neighbor dominates the 
man who narrates the story; but it's actually a nice kind of domination 
- she actually likes the guy.  I'm not trying to be unfriendly; and I 
realize there are valid differences in lifestyles and interests.  But 
when somebody writes a story that describes how interesting it would be 
to turn a passerby into a degraded specimen of a human being (granted, 
she was already an English teacher), am I being a bigot to say that 
this is really kind of sick and to worry about the mental health of 
people who enjoy this kind of garbage?  I would appreciate serious 
comments, not flames.  I'm really trying to understand.  Here's the 
crux of the question:  If Jeffrey Dahmers wrote a grammatically 
correct, clear, detailed description of how he drilled holes into the 
heads of his victims while they were still alive and then had sex with 
them before he killed and ate them, am I supposed to accept this as a 
"lifestyle choice"?  And if I found my husband jacking off while he was 
reading this description after Dahmers published it on a.s.s., would I 
be paranoid to think he had a serious problem?  (Rating: 3)

"Fun with Dick and Jane, Part 2" by Craver.  This is written by either 
Beavis or Butthead or a twin separated at birth.  I don't find this 
disturbing in the same sense as the last story; but where's the 
creativity?  A story should at least be plausible, not just a shopping 
list of every way there is to screw or be screwed.  I really don't 
think a woman could do these things in a theme park without getting 
busted for indecent exposure.  Compare this story with Sue's 
"Adventureland," which I reviewed in Celestial Reviews 3 for a contrast 
in level of creativity with regard to a similar topic.  (Rating: 3)

"Sirens" by David Cain.  "Practice at every opportunity made me an 
expert cunnilingualist..." In this brief story the narrator develops 
his theories of why the expert cunnlingualist has ultimate power over 
any women and briefly describes one episode to prove his point.  An 
interesting approach, perhaps with too much missing.  Maybe I was 
supposed to be familiar with the whole series.  (Rating: 6)

"Lab Partners" by WithSue.  Sue was kind enough to send me a copy of 
this story before she reposted it.  When I saw it postted this morning, 
I was upset, because I hadn't finished it yet.  So I dug into the rest 
of the 24 pages (11,188 words, according to my word count) and was late 
for breakfast.  It was as good as Sue humbly said it would be.  (Now I 
have to put this out of my mind and concentrate on summer school.)  The 
deal here is that Sue loves fantasies and in real life encourages other 
authors to respond to her fantasies by finsishing or adapting her 
stories.  A few paragraphs into the story, I realized that Sue herself 
was the lab partner working with the two guys.  The buildup took a 
while; but even our anti-Jane-Austen critic would enjoy the result, I 
think.  (I'd really like to know his opinion of this one.)  This has to 
be one of the longest orgasms in a.s.s. history; and I stayed glued to 
the screen for every minute of it.  This may be a chick story - but 
what a chick!  (Rating: 10)
