The Freshman
Copyright 2005 by EC

Chapter 4 - The first touch

Cecilia was restricted to Huntington Hall the following Sunday. 
She was the duty RA from midnight Sunday morning until midnight 
Monday morning. She had to keep the dorm security radio with her 
at all times and be the first member of the dorm staff to respond 
to any crisis. 

The RA would have been perfectly content with the arrangement, 
given that she needed to finish fixing her project for Burnside 
anyway, had that damn radio not been going off non-stop. No 
sooner had she changed out of her dress from her date with Jason 
did she have to deal with her first crisis, a dorm party over on 
the guys' side of the building, complete with alcohol. That meant 
calling Campus Security, multiple write-ups, being called a 
"fucking Spanish cunt" and another write-up over the insult, and 
dealing with multiple drunken complaints from the party-goers.

Two hours later Cecilia returned to her room, only to have the 
radio go off again, this time over an ecstasy overdose on the 
women's side. The overdose constituted a medical emergency 
involving calling paramedics and the dorm director, then taking 
statements from the girl's hysterical roommate and writing up 
multiple reports.

The overdose was followed by a fight right outside the dorm, a 
drunken frat pledge throwing up in the commons area, an 
overflowing toilet, and finally another detergent crisis in the 
laundry room.

By the time she finally returned to her room at 7:00 a.m., the 
duty RA was exhausted and her nerves were on edge. She finally 
managed to get some sleep, only to have to wake up a couple of 
hours later and continue with her paper. She slowly worked her 
way towards the finish, typing on a surplus computer that the 
Economics Department had given her as part of her original 
scholarship grant from the previous year.

----------

Jason, meanwhile, had a fairly good night's sleep, after lying 
awake for a while pondering his strange date with Cecilia and 
trying to understand the unusual combination of traits in her 
personality. He did not dwell on any resentment he might have 
felt over being snapped at and bossed around by a young woman who 
was only a year older than he was. It was clear that in her own 
way Cecilia cared for him. Yes, she was a bit controlling, but so 
far it seemed that every time she had told him to do something, 
especially when it came to academic stuff, she had been right. 

Jason wondered if Cecilia now was his girlfriend. He sort of 
thought so, but couldn't be too sure. What he did know was that 
he badly wanted her. He desperately wanted to please her, 
precisely because he knew that pleasing her would be extremely 
difficult. She had extremely high standards, but that gave him 
something in life to strive for. However high Cecilia's standards 
might be, or how hard they might be to meet, he was determined to 
meet them.

----------

The following day Jason went out with his three friends on a 
hike. There was a football game going on that Jason might have 
wanted to see. However, it was obvious the other three were not 
the football types, so Jason ended up spending the day on a 
sweaty walk instead. The walk gave him a chance to talk about 
Cecilia and the increasingly strange relationship he was having 
with her. Unfortunately the others did not have much insight to 
give him about their RA. The only person in the group who knew 
Cecilia at all was Lisa, and she had not talked to her since 
their workout on Friday. 

Jason did get a better opportunity to know his new friends 
better. All four members of the group were a bit unique in their 
personalities and to some extent outsiders to the fraternity 
party society of "normal" university students. There was Mike and 
his politics, and there was Lisa with her eccentric personality. 
Then there was Ken, who confessed to the others that he was 
questioning his sexuality and trying to figure out what he really 
wanted from his personal relationships. He confessed that there 
were both women and men who attracted him. "I don't know what's 
going on with me. Sometimes I think I'm straight, sometimes I 
wonder if I'm gay...All I know is that right now I'm fucked, 
'cause I really don't know what I want."

Each member of the group was messed up in his or her own way, but 
at least they could talk to each other and not face college life 
alone. They would spend the semester eating, studying, and 
exercising together, at the beginning of a friendship they would 
remember well beyond their years at the university.

----------

The next day Jason posed twice in the hot, exposed art classroom. 
He had thought the pose on Friday was revealing, but that one was 
nothing compared to the pose he had to assume the following 
Monday. He was instructed to get on his knees, spread his legs, 
and extend his arms out in front of him. The pose was something 
like a kneeling worship position, except that he had to extend 
and stretch himself as much as he could. The position forced him 
to arch his back and spread his bottom wide, leaving his anus and 
testicles fully visible to the students standing behind him. The 
occasional breeze coming through the open window and blowing 
against his backside served as a reminder of just how exposed he 
was to his audience. Jason noticed that both Ken, during the 9:00 
session, and Cecilia, during the 11:00 session, took the easel 
closest to his stretched bottom. It seemed that both of them were 
fascinated at the thought of their friend being forced to put the 
most intimate part of himself on such public display.

There was Burnside's class. Moving about the stage and pointing 
at her PowerPoint presentation, the professor quickly went down 
lecture material that was designed to provide structure and 
organization to the massive amount of reading she had assigned 
for the semester. As always, her lecture lasted exactly 48 
minutes, with no breaks or pauses. The students frantically wrote 
into their notebooks, because every sentence, every phrase, 
coming out of Burnside's mouth was full of information. She used 
her time at the podium with ruthless efficiency. As for the two 
minutes at the end of the lecture, that was for announcements and 
reminding the students what they needed to read for the next 
class. Burnside took nothing for granted. Yes, the reading was in 
the syllabus, but if she brought it up in class as well, no one 
had any excuse for claiming the assignments were not clear.

Jason glanced back as Cecilia, who, as always, stood guarding the 
back doors and quietly listening to the professor.

----------

Cecilia learned from her push-up experience the previous week to 
have a spare blouse in her backpack to avoid the trip back to the 
dorm after her Life Drawing class. She quickly changed, went over 
to Burnside's office, hoping her revised summer project finally 
would be acceptable and she could move on with her life. Burnside 
carefully looked down the revised citations and then thumbed over 
to Cecilia's comments about Max Weber. She looked up at the 
student, who was standing with a very nervous expression.

"You understand I don't agree with these comments about Weber?"

"Yes, Dr. Burnside, I understand that, but I got the sources to 
back up what I'm saying."

"Yes, you do. You backed up your argument, which is all I'm 
asking. I don't care if you agree with me or not, but I do care 
about you knowing the literature."

"Yes, Dr. Burnside."

"Well, this is acceptable. Not perfect, but it'll work. You'll 
get it back with my criticisms once I show it to the committee. 
But we do have to move on, don't we?"

"Yes, Dr. Burnside."

Of course that was not it as far as the visit was concerned. 
Burnside demanded to see a list of the books Cecilia had for her 
two upcoming term papers. She suggested some additional sources, 
then moved on to some economic formulas that she wanted Cecilia 
to learn by heart.

"I'll tell you where I'm going with all this. If your performance 
is adequate this year, I'm going to see about making you a 
department research assistant your junior year, for either myself 
or Dr. Halsey. That'll get some money in your pocket, because I 
know you're not getting any now. If you can hold out until next 
year, I'll try to fix that for you."

"Thank you, Dr. Burnside."

Once the freshman class was over, Cecilia met Lisa at the gym to 
work out. She listened attentively to Lisa's explanation about 
the gym equipment and setting up a workout schedule. Cecilia's 
attitude actually forced Lisa to push herself harder than she 
might have had she been exercising alone. 

Lisa tried to get some more personal information out of Cecilia, 
but the RA always turned the conversation back to Lisa's life. 
Cecilia had given up more about herself than she had wanted the 
previous week and was determined not to make that mistake again. 
She cringed at the slip she made about her brother being in jail. 
That was not something Lisa, nor anyone else, needed to know. 
Anyhow, Cecilia's brother, like the rest of her relatives, no 
longer was in contact with her and thus had no relevance to her 
current responsibilities or relationships.

After the workout the two women showered and changed. Again Lisa 
noticed Cecilia's attractive figure and could see why Jason was 
so taken with her. As before, Cecilia put on a white thong before 
putting on her skirt, a small detail Lisa could relay to her 
friend that night at dinner.

----------

Cecilia returned to her room to relax for an hour before meeting 
the other RA's for dinner. Part of her responsibility as RA was 
to dine every night with the rest of the dorm staff at dinner, no 
matter what. It was the one opportunity each day for all the RA's 
to be in one place at one time and thus be available for anything 
the director had to say to them. Cecilia did not mind the 
arrangement, because she would have felt uncomfortable eating 
with Lisa or Jason in the cafeteria.

Cecilia glanced up at the autographed picture of the singer 
Kimberly Lee and her Danubian partner Eloisa, the two women whose 
magical voices gave her personal thoughts coherence and her mind 
an escape from that horrible Rap music she had to listen to day 
in and day out while she was growing up. Cecilia hated the world 
from where she came. There's nothing glamorous about drug 
dealing, shooting at the police, gang life, and the mean streets, 
so why sing about that? She had lived that reality, had seen more 
than her share of awful events, and Rap music had been the sonic 
backdrop for many very unpleasant memories. She had left, never 
to go back, and her mind had left, never to go back.

The music of "Socrates' Mistresses" was crucial for Cecilia's 
mental transformation away from her life in New Jersey. She heard 
a song from the European group for the first time only two days 
after arriving at the university the year before. She was hooked 
the very first time she heard Kimberly Lee's voice. She 
desperately asked who that group was, and upon finding out their 
name, spent the only money she had in her pocket to buy a CD. 

The first several songs were in Danubian, but that did not 
matter. The voice of the Danubian lead singer was so moving that 
Cecilia was almost left in tears, even though she didn't 
understand any of the words. But then came the song that Cecilia 
really needed to hear, Kimberly Lee's English rendition of "The 
wall that divides my soul". Cecilia looked up the group's website 
and discovered that Lee had written the lyrics when she realized 
she was committed to living in Europe and could never return to 
her home in the United States. Kimberly Lee, an American stranded 
in the isolated country of Upper Danubia, had spoken directly to 
Cecilia, a Dominican stranded at a university in Chicago. 
Cecilia's life was divided, much in the same way Kimberly Lee's 
life had been divided. They both had left home. Now there was no 
home for either of them to return to.

----------

The sad, dreamy music forced Cecilia's memories to drift into the 
past, to the place she lived in while growing up. As a child and 
as a teenager, whatever moments of happiness she might have 
enjoyed always were very fleeting and brief. There always was a 
lot of tension and resentment and very little love in the Sanchez 
household. The memories she had of her past were not happy ones, 
which was why she had no desire to stay in touch with her family.

The Sanchez family was assigned to a three-room unit in a Section 
8 housing complex. There were a total of seven people crammed 
into that small space: her mother and whatever boyfriend she had 
at the time, two brothers, a cousin and her baby, and herself. 
Cecilia shared her room with the cousin and the infant. There 
were three women and three guys sharing two bathrooms, and the 
invariable screaming fits in the mornings over who was taking too 
much time getting cleaned up. And, of course, there always was 
that damn living room TV, turned up at full volume, day or night, 
so it could be heard in every room of the apartment. On top of 
that was her brothers' gangster-rap music competing against her 
cousin's Salsa, all mixed with the non-stop crying of her 
cousin's baby. Cecilia was constantly berating her cousin to pick 
up the baby or change him, but more often ended up doing it 
herself, just to quiet the child down. Too much noise and too 
many people packed tightly together, with the only escape being 
the street, or in Cecilia's case, the library. There were plenty 
of times she found an isolated corner desk on the second floor of 
the local library, and seduced by the quiet environment, promptly 
sat down and fell asleep.

In high school Cecilia's encounters with guys invariably had been 
unpleasant. Her old neighborhood and high school were filled with 
drug dealers and thugs on ego trips, whose minds were saturated 
with gangster mentality and blatant sexism. She had no desire 
whatsoever to surrender to any of that, she wanted more from her 
time on earth than getting pregnant at age 16 by some drug addled 
gang-member and spending her life on welfare. She earned the 
enmity of the guys in her class, who thought they were entitled 
to having sex with her, and of her female classmates, who were 
jealous of her independence and scornful of her good grades. 

As a teenager Cecilia was disgusted by the squalid, noisy, and 
aggressive world in which she lived, and determined that whatever 
happened, she would remain in charge of her future and escape. 
She had the one advantage of being a very gifted young woman, one 
of the best students in mathematics at her high school. She also 
was good in social studies and clearly a cut above most of her 
classmates. Being one to the better students at Cecilia's high 
school wasn't particularly hard from an academic point of view, 
given that it was located in a blighted neighborhood and had one 
of the lowest graduation rates in the United States. 

Cecilia became a rebel among her classmates simply by doing what 
the teachers told her to do, going to class every day, and making 
sure her homework was turned in on time. Even though she was in 
her teens, she knew that she had only one hope, and only one 
chance, of maintaining any kind of control over her life. She had 
to play the system by the rules, and above all, make sure she was 
among the few students from her school who actually graduated. 
She pushed ahead in her studies, with absolutely no support from 
her mother or brothers. In the end her independence became an 
obsession in her life, precisely because she had to battle so 
hard to maintain it while growing up. Cecilia's fixation on 
controlling her own life extended to her thoughts on 
relationships. She had extremely strong sexual urges, but was 
determined that no matter who she ended up with, she would be in 
charge, period. That was non-negotiable.

The wall that divided Cecilia's soul was that intensely hot July 
day she left her housing project to board a bus headed for 
Chicago to accept her scholarship. It was the day she took with 
her a bus ticket, $ 23, and a single carry-on bag that contained 
three changes of clothing, one romance novel, and the precious 
paperwork from her high school and the scholarship program that 
would allow her to begin her new life. It also was the day her 
mother flatly told her she was prohibited from leaving. There was 
a final round of shouting, and Cecilia almost gave in. Then one 
of her brothers, one of her own brothers, called her a "fuckin' 
bitch". Cecilia said nothing more. If her family was going to 
call her a "bitch", then they could go fuck themselves. She took 
off, with her mother yelling threats and insults at her back. She 
ran to the bus station, barely catching the outgoing bus for 
Chicago. 

That was the wall that divided her soul, the day Cecilia Sanchez 
walked out on her relatives, never to return, something almost 
unheard of in her neighborhood. Just a few days later, the 
torment from that memory still fresh in her mind, she listened to 
Kimberly Lee's voice for the first time. There were other songs 
in English on the CD, most notably "Marooned", and "A question I 
cannot answer" that seemed to speak directly to her. 

The scholarship student decided to e-mail Kimberly Lee, who, to 
her enormous surprise, wrote back. The fan and the group singer 
began corresponding and finally, for the first time in her life, 
Cecilia recounted to Kim in painful detail the circumstances of 
her flight from New Jersey. Shortly afterwards came the contract 
dispute and the banning of "Socrates' Mistresses"' music in the 
US. Cecilia then got a Christmas gift from Upper Danubia in the 
mail, a complete collection of CD's containing everything the 
group ever sang. One thing led to another and over the spring 
Cecilia found herself helping out on the group's website, 
answering fan mail, and organizing electronic petitions to get 
the ban on their music lifted. Cecilia's efforts on behalf of 
"Socrates' Mistresses" earned her two more gifts, the autographed 
picture and the Danubian dress, which in the US would have sold 
for $ 700. 

Cecilia looked about her room. After a year in Chicago she still 
had very few material possessions. There was the computer on her 
desk, a cheap CD player, some additions to her wardrobe, her 
linens, and a few books. There was some paperwork and a recently 
acquired passport, just in case she needed to travel for the 
university. There were the gifts from Kimberly Lee, and a few 
CD's of classical music. And, that was it. Cecilia's scholarship 
paid for her tuition, books, room and board, a city bus pass, and 
Internet service, but did not give her much spending money and 
prohibited her from working an outside job. She was used to 
living without any money and really did not miss it.

Cecilia had no TV in her dorm room, which was not a problem for 
her. In New Jersey the living room TV had been turned on in her 
family's apartment non-stop while she was growing up, at maximum 
volume so it could be heard in every room. There were times 
Cecilia had to leave, simply to get away from the constant 
infernal noise of that fucking TV. Like Rap music, television was 
associated with a lot of bad memories in Cecilia's mind. It was 
very unlikely she ever would want to have a TV in her residence, 
even if she could afford one.

----------

As she sat with her co-workers, Cecilia glanced at Jason Schmidt 
and his friends eating dinner. They exchanged smiles, but there 
would be business to take care of later. At 9:00 Jason would be 
expected to be in his room waiting for his RA to go over the 
material Burnside had presented that day in class. Following 
that, Jason would meet with his three friends and pass the 
information along to them. It was a routine that would last the 
entire semester, one that would assure four passing grades from 
the difficult economics class.

Jason scrambled to go over the readings and prepare his 
questions, while Cecilia worked on a project she had for the 
Theory of International Development. At 9:00 p.m. Cecilia showed 
up at his door. As always, Jason stood at attention while the RA 
barraged him with questions. Jason would learn over the semester 
that, no matter what was the personal relationship between them, 
Cecilia expected Jason to perform on cue when it came to 
Burnside's classes.

At 9:30 Cecilia dismissed him and presented her cheek for a good-
bye kiss. Jason then had to start on the second part of his duty 
to the RA, updating his friends on the course material and making 
sure they were properly prepared for the Tuesday seminar and the 
Wednesday class.

----------

The semester's daily routine was settled by Tuesday of the second 
week of classes: breakfast, classes, exercise, dinner, study. 
Over the next couple of days Jason wondered about Cecilia, given 
there was no indication they were any closer than they had been 
the previous Saturday night. The only way he could find out was 
to attempt to invite her out to a second classical concert over 
the weekend.

Instead of asking her out Wednesday night when she was still in 
his room, Jason decided to wait until the following evening and 
go over to Cecilia's room, with a vague idea of talking to her 
and perhaps getting a better idea of where exactly his 
relationship with her was headed. He called Lisa to escort him 
through the women's wing. She agreed, but was none too pleasant 
about it. Jason suddenly realized that Mike must have been in her 
room and it was quite likely he was interrupting their evening.

Jason could hear faint music coming out of the RA's room, the 
extremely haunting sound of women's voices and some very unique-
sounding instruments. He recognized the music: it was a song from 
Cecilia's favorite group, "Socrates' Mistresses". Suddenly he 
remembered the autographed picture of the group's lead singers 
hanging on Cecilia's wall. He vaguely wondered about the story 
behind it. 

Lisa clearly was impatient. She either wanted to deposit Jason in 
Cecilia's room, or escort him back out into the commons area and 
get back to whatever it was she was doing with Mike. More to 
avoid looking like a fool in front of Lisa than anything else, 
Jason forced himself to knock on the RA's door. The moment 
Cecilia opened, Lisa walked off and quickly disappeared into her 
room.

Cecilia greeted Jason by presenting her cheek for a kiss. Her 
appearance was a bit of a surprise. She looked extremely tired 
from barely having slept and seemed somewhat depressed. Her 
clothes were different as well. She was dressed in a mini-skirt 
and halter-top that left her shoulders completely bare, an outfit 
considerably more revealing than what she normally wore in 
public. Jason longingly glanced at Cecilia's uncovered shoulders 
and bare arms and legs. In spite of her exhausted appearance, in 
her abbreviated outfit she looked extremely sexy.

Jason suddenly became extremely nervous, because he realized he 
had no real reason for coming over. Cecilia, however, did 
understand why Jason was in her room. He was looking for answers. 
For one evening, a time she was in a melancholy mood and her 
defenses were down, she managed to open a window of her soul to 
him, even if it was just a tiny bit. 

She began by asking him about his classes, taking a genuine 
interest in finding out what he had done that day. She then 
passed him a copy of the revised Burnside project, explaining 
about the paper and why it had kept her so busy over the previous 
weekend. She decided to tell him more about the professor and her 
own experiences as a freshman at the university the previous 
year, thinking it would be a good idea to warn Jason what he 
could expect later on from Ruth Burnside. She made it obvious her 
first year at the university had not been fun. It seemed that she 
did absolutely nothing other than study and work on research 
projects. 

Jason, whose mind still was fresh out of high school and somewhat 
full of fantasies about crazy college life, was bewildered at the 
dreariness of Cecilia's first year.

"You didn't, like, go out with anyone, or go to parties, or do 
anything?"

"That's not what I'm here for. I'm here to study. Maybe, once I 
get my degree, you know, and a job, then I can relax. Until that 
happens, I'll do what Dr. Burnside tells me to do, because I'm 
not goin' back. My ass is hers until I graduate, but I'll deal 
with it. I am not goin' back."

"To...your housing project in New Jersey?"

Cecilia gave Jason a very sharp look. "That's right Jason, my 
housing project in New Jersey. So you knew that?"

"Uh...yeah."

"Did Lisa tell you?"

"Uh..."

"Answer me! Did Lisa tell you about our conversation last week?"

"Uh...yeah, she told me."

"So you know about my family, and all that shit."

"She...uh...told me a few things..."

"And I told her not to say nothin'! And she did!"

Jason felt totally sick. He wondered if he had just sparked a 
fight between Cecilia and Lisa. At the very least he had cut off 
his only source of information about her, since it was obvious 
that Cecilia never would trust anything personal with Lisa again. 
And that the best he could hope for...

Cecilia was infuriated at Lisa, but Jason's fears of an open 
fight were unfounded. There was no way Cecilia would confront 
Lisa because doing so would not serve her interests. She still 
needed Lisa to help her learn how to use the gym equipment, and 
it was useful to Cecilia for Lisa to remain Jason's friend. On 
top of that Cecilia was Lisa's RA and at least needed to treat 
her with professional courtesy. But as for as placing any further 
personal trust in Lisa; that had ended.

Jason already knew more about Cecilia's background than she had 
wanted him to know, thanks to Lisa's big mouth. She now felt she 
needed to somehow explain herself to him, a situation that made 
her feel very vulnerable. She wasn't sure where or how to begin, 
and she wasn't sure how much information about herself she needed 
to give up. She then happened to glance at the picture of the two 
"Socrates' Mistresses" singers, who quietly and sadly stared back 
at her from behind Kimberly Lee's handwriting. The thought 
crossed Cecilia's mind that she didn't need to say anything at 
all to Jason; that perhaps she could let her favorite band speak 
for her. 

"Jason, I'm gonna make you promise me something. I don't ever 
wanna have to talk to you about my life before I came to Chicago. 
I don't wanna talk to anybody about it. I don't wanna think about 
it, 'cause it's over! I don't want you askin' me, get it?"

"It's OK. I won't ask you. I promise."

Cecilia sighed. 

"But I do owe you something, and I'll try. If you wanna 
understand me, listen to this."

She took the "Socrates' Mistresses" CD out of her CD player and 
replaced it with an older CD from the same group. She skipped 
ahead to the song she wanted Jason to hear. She hit the play 
button, and Jason listened to Kimberly Lee sing "The wall that 
divides my soul". Jason vaguely knew the story behind the song; 
that Lee had written the lyrics when she realized she was 
committed to living in Europe and could never return to her home 
in the United States. He knew right away why Cecilia wanted him 
to hear the song and listened to it attentively. Cecilia's life 
was divided, much in the same way Kimberly Lee's life had been 
divided. Cecilia thought he did not need to know the details, but 
the conversation and the song gave him a general idea of what had 
happened to her the previous year.

As Jason sat quietly listening to Cecilia's CD, she shook her 
head, signed, and started rubbing her temples and neck. She was 
trying to cope with a vicious headache and stiffness from having 
sat at her computer since the beginning of the semester with very 
little sleep. Jason asked her what was wrong.

"What's wrong is that I'm tired. You know, I'm trying to do about 
five different things at once. I guess...it just...finally caught 
up with me." 

"Is there anything I can do...you know, to make you feel better?"

The RA thought about it for a moment. Yes, there was something 
that would make her feel better. She wanted to have her neck 
massaged and would ask Jason to do it. A neck massage would be a 
good way for her to test him, to see if he could do something 
physical to her but stay within the limits of what she wanted. It 
was a simple desire, but at the same time a very momentous 
decision, given that Jason would be the first man allowed to 
touch her in nearly four years.

"There is something you can do for me, if you want. If you could 
rub the back of my neck and my shoulders I'd really appreciate 
it."

Cecilia tied up her hair and moved into the room's armchair. She 
sat quietly, looking straight ahead. Jason, not saying anything, 
stepped behind the chair and placed his fingertips on her skin. 
He gently began pressing into the stiff muscles of her neck, 
slowly working his way up to the top under her thick black hair. 
He moved his fingers back down, and cautiously massaged her, 
pressing his fingers in a little harder to get her body to relax. 
She closed her eyes and sighed, smiling slightly. His heart 
jumped, as he realized he was doing something that pleased her. 
He pressed into her shoulders a bit harder and again worked his 
way back up to the top of her neck. He spent a long time 
accommodating her request, obediently rubbing harder or softer as 
commanded. 

Jason felt a surge of erotic desire when he realized that if he 
stood directly over her, he could peek down the cleavage of his 
girlfriend's halter top and see quite a bit of her chest. He felt 
extremely daring as he looked down at her breasts, because he 
knew she had not given him permission to see that part of her 
body. Jason did not think about the enormous irony of the 
situation, that she had seen him completely naked several times 
over the past two weeks for extended periods of time, and here he 
was, excited about catching a fleeting glimpse of her breasts by 
looking down into her top.

Cecilia told Jason to put some lotion on her shoulders and 
continue massaging. She instructed him to move to her hands and 
arms. He started with her fingers, massaging them one by one, 
then pressed her hands to try to push out the soreness from all 
that typing. He moved on to her forearms and worked her muscles 
as he slowly moved back up to her shoulders. She obviously was 
enjoying this. He felt a real joy in being able to touch so much 
of her body and doing something that pleased her. 

Cecilia was nodding off. He took her hand and helped her to move 
to her bed to lie down. Seeing her bare legs and feet Jason 
wondered whether or not she would like to have the lower part of 
her body massaged as well. Her voiced sounded infinitely tired as 
she responded: "I'd like that, Jason. But I want you to 
concentrate on my feet, and don't go above my knees. I'm warnin' 
you, don't go above my knees."

Jason spent the next half-hour massaging her feet and calves, as 
he admired her smooth dark skin and looked longingly at her bare 
thighs and the small patch of white cloth between her legs up 
under her skirt. The thought that he would someday get the chance 
to touch that bare flesh and kiss her tender dark skin tormented 
him with desire, but unfortunately tonight that part of her body 
was off-limits.

The sound of her breathing changed, indicating she had fallen 
asleep. Jason stopped massaging. The sight of Cecilia sleeping 
and helpless was strange to him, one that he could not resist 
enjoying for a few minutes. In spite of being in love with her, 
he also was somewhat afraid of her and it was nice to see her 
lying quietly with a peaceful expression. 

He turned out the light and sat in the dark for a few minutes, 
wondering what to do about getting out of the room. He did not 
want to wake up Cecilia just to escort him out, nor was calling 
Lisa an option. Finally he decided to slip out and head to the 
commons area by himself. It was late and it was unlikely any of 
the female floor residents would see him, or if they did, 
confront him. 

As he opened the door, he took one last look at her, as she lay 
on the bed in her hot room. He fervently wished he could have 
been lying next to her, both of them naked, after having made 
love. He wanted that day to come. He knew it would, just not soon 
enough.

----------

Two nights later Jason took Cecilia out on their second date. The 
outing was a repeat of the first date; except that Jason managed 
to avoid many of the mistakes he committed the previous week. He 
was properly dressed in a dark gray suit with his shoes properly 
shined and his shirt ironed, his cell phone was left back at his 
dorm room, and he already had reservations set up at another 
restaurant recommended by Mike.

When he met her at her door, Cecilia was dressed in her Danubian 
dress. Once again she was the perfect picture of feminine beauty 
and elegance, her physical appearance contrasting with her rough 
East Coast accent. She glanced approvingly at her date, satisfied 
at his effort to make himself presentable to her. She rewarded 
him with a very pleasant smile. She took his hands as she greeted 
him, but still presented her cheek instead of her mouth for 
Jason's kiss.

Cecilia spent that night digging deeper into Jason's life, 
finding out about his interests and what had affected him 
throughout his childhood. She may have been unwilling to talk 
about herself, but was very good at getting Jason to expose his 
most intimate thoughts and desires. She became curious about his 
nudism, getting out of him his habit of skinny-dipping in his 
parents' pool while he was growing up and his nude forays around 
the house when his family was not home. 

Throughout the night she allowed more physical contact: more 
hugging, more hand-holding, more light seductive touches on the 
forearm, to signal she was ready to move towards a more serious 
relationship. She worked to put him at ease and make him feel 
comfortable being with her. 

However, in many very small and subtle ways, Cecilia also let 
Jason know that she would remain in complete control of their 
time together. By the time the evening ended Cecilia's unspoken 
message to her boyfriend was very clear; she was not to be 
crossed. He would learn to meet his own needs by satisfying hers, 
that to make her happy was to make himself happy. Her disapproval 
on any detail, no matter how trivial, was something he needed to 
avoid.

As they walked back through the university following dinner, 
Cecilia drew herself close to Jason. She put her arms around him 
and allowed her cheek to rest on his shoulder. She was immensely 
happy. Yes. He was the one, he the man she had been waiting for. 
Maybe he didn't know it yet, but he was the one destined to serve 
her.
