Celestial Reviews 113 - August 31, 1996

Note: Several people have recently asked me how to submit stories to me 
and to the newsgroup. Once your stories are in satisfactory shape to 
submit, here's how I post on a.s.s. through AOL: (1) I copy my review 
(story) from my word processor onto my clipboard; (2) I log into the 
a.s.s. newsgroup;  (3) I select the "Send New Message" option, and (4) 
I paste my review into the space that appears on the screen for that 
purpose.  This process may be slightly different with other services.

My e-mail address (Celeste801) appears automatically with the message 
when it appears in the postings.  Since I prefer to be known as simply 
Celeste, I put that name somewhere in my message.

I myself achieve a satisfactory degree of anonymity by simply using the 
e-mail address Celeste801 and the nom de plume Celeste.  It is my 
impression that AOL will protect my anonymity, unless I start breaking 
laws that are far more serious than telling dirty stories to adults.  
I'm pretty sure my daughter Chelsea and my friend Tipper don't even 
know that I am really Celeste, although I'm pretty sure they both read 
my reviews faithfully.  

If you need further anonymity, you can use the “anon” service that goes 
through Finland.  Simply follow the directions at the end of one of the 
stories that use this service to obtain the guidelines for submitting 
stories through that service.  It is my understanding that that service 
is supported by a person who is best described as a "free speech 
fanatic."  However, I understand even that service is subjected to some 
censorship; but so far this has occurred only when really bad people 
have tried to use the service for improper purposes (e.g., terrorists 
using it to send threats via e-mail).

You should avoid using in your story any keyboard conventions that will 
not come across to ordinary readers receiving ASCII files from the 
newsgroup.  For example, italics and boldface do not work, nor do smart 
single quotation marks, etc.  Either these conventions will be omitted 
in the files people receive or they will be replaced by weird symbols 
that will bother your future readers.  Simply avoid using these, if you 
know about them and can select another way to communicate your ideas.

If you would prefer to receive additional feedback from a proofreader 
before you post your story, send a request (not the actual story) to 
me, and I'll assign a free proofreader.  This is a loosely organized 
service of volunteers, but it really does seem to work pretty well.  It 
will be up to you and the proofreader to decide how to share and 
improve your work.  There is a huge value in having someone else look 
at your story before you post it.

Finally, if you would like to be certain that I will review your story 
in Celestial Reviews, send a copy by e-mail to me (celeste801@aol.com).  
Send it a few days before you post the story or at least at the same 
time you post the story.  That way I can try to post my review around 
the same time it appears in the postings.  I cannot promise to read and 
review ALL the stories I receive, but I try.

- Celeste

      “Philly" by Michael K. Smith (romance & emerging
            adolescence) 10, 10, 10
      “Trinity Trilogy Novel 8/14” by Tom Trinity 
            (miscellaneous orgies) 10, 9.5, 10
      “Coach” by Uncle Mike (sitcom parody) 10, 9, 9
      “TV's best - Friends” by Erin8667 (sitcom parody) 7, 7, 9
      “Stage Fright” by RC (hypnosis) 10, 10, 10
      “Porno TV: The Munsters” by Shelby Bush (sitcom parody)
            10, 9.5, 9.5
      “Princess’s Court” by Plainman (romance & adultery) 
            10, 10, 10
      “Field of Desire” by Andrew Roller (bdsm) 8, 8, 6
      “Conversation” by Sandmann (sex fantasies & inhibitions)
            10, 10, 10

“Philly" by Michael K. Smith (mksmith@metronet.com).  This is another 
story rich in details and sentiment and permeated with hot sex.  The 
man meets a much younger girl in the jacuzzi at a hotel during a 
convention, where the atmosphere is such that it is easy to have sex in 
the jacuzzi.  She is a virgin, and he gently introduces her to the 
mysteries of sex.  That’s about it!  Of course, you should read the 
story yourself; the author has about 7,500 more words that make this 
story well worth reading.

Ratings for “Philly”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

“Trinity Trilogy Novel 8/14” by Tom Trinity (stbush@iglou.com). We are 
now in week 8 out 14 of the reposts of the Trinity Trilogy stories, and 
the members of the Happy Trio continue their quest of new types of 
orgies science fiction conventions and elsewhere.  In addition, Tom has 
started to develop a more stable relationship with Janie.  Who knows?  
They may settle down and have children!

The first story in this week’s segment is one of the hottest examples I 
have ever seen of spouse-watching, even though Tom and Janie are not 
actually spouses.  We also learn this week that Tom likes chocolate - 
especially hot chocolate; and fortunately his friends introduce him to 
Mary, a hot black woman who enjoys vanilla.  One of the most unusual 
elements of the story is that they eat at Denny’s, where they speak to 
but do not engage in multiple-party sex with the waitress.  Other than 
that, it’s orgies as usual - although I did detect a slight tendency 
toward a larger amount of anal sex.

An enjoyable element of these stories that I have not yet mentioned is 
their titles.  For example, Chapter 55 is "A Little Rock and a Hard 
Piece."  The story takes place in Little Rock, Arkansas.  You can use 
imagination for the rest of the title.

I truly enjoy these stories; but I feel compelled to issue a sort of 
standard disclaimer.  These characters live in a world where AIDS, 
other sexually transmitted diseases, and pregnancy simply do not occur.  
In addition, everybody is so friendly and sharing that nobody’s 
personality gets hurt by the actions of anyone else.  Hedonism sure 
sounds good; but real life involves responsibility.  I myself am a 
Christian, and I don’t lead a hedonistic lifestyle.  I get really 
pissed off at fellow Christians who try to promulgate their belief that 
reading stories like this is “sinful.”  My hope is that stories like 
this can help people like me loosen up and enjoy life without 
compromising our principles.  It never hurts to know what’s on the 
menu, even if you’re on a diet.  And on the other hand, some of you 
all-out hedonists might discover that you can still enjoy life even if 
you throw in a huge dose of responsibility.

Ratings for “Trinity Trilogy Novel 8/14”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

“Coach” by Uncle Mike (fr582@cleveland.Freenet.Edu).  Christine has 
planned a surprise for Hayden.  She has left a provocative note inside 
a special issue of Playboy Magazine, and now she has sneaked into his 
office, wearing nothing but a trench coat and a smile.  She has locked 
the doors, and now she springs the surprise upon him.  Actually, SHE’s 
the one who is surprised.  It’s not Hayden there behind the Playboy 
centerfold, but Dauber, who gives her cunt the ride of her life.

This short piece is good - but it’s not among Uncle Mike’s best.

Ratings for “Coach”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

“TV's best - Friends” by Erin8667 (erin8667@aol.com).  The gang from 
the “Friends” sitcom follow their usual custom of walking into each 
other’s apartments without knocking; but instead of cracking jokes or 
flirting, they hump like rabbits in heat  The sex is pretty hot, and 
it’s easy to picture the characters doing these things; but the story 
needs a little more development or better timing.  

Uncle Mike and Shelby Bush write good sitcom parodies.  This author 
writes porn stories that contain the sitcom characters.  The difference 
is that the former two authors spend time on actually developing a 
creative plot that runs parallel to the original sitcom.  This one is 
like watching a porn movie in which the characters from “Friends” are 
inserted into the roles of the porn studs and studettes.  It comes 
across as something written by a high school sophomore in one evening 
by simply inserting sex into the basic “Friends” format.

In addition, the literacy level is much lower in this story than in the 
stories by the other two authors.  Nevertheless, this isn’t really a 
bad story.  If you skip past the grammar mistakes, it’s actually fun to 
imagine the gang from “Friends” doing these things with one another.

Ratings for “Friends”
Athena (technical quality): 7
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

“Stage Fright” by RC (74734.271@CompuServe.COM).  As I read this story, 
I was impressed by the way it conveyed the feeling of being hypnotized.  
Up to the very end, I was saying to myself, “This is a good story, but 
what does it have to do with sex?”  Then, like magic, I saw the point!  
This is a short but highly creative story.

Ratings for “Stage Fright”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

“Porno TV: The Munsters” by Shelby Bush (stbush@iglou.com).  The author 
simulates an episode from the old Munsters TV series.  There are three 
separate plots, which blend together, just like on TV: (1) Herman and 
Lilly get it on with the electrodes connected to the generator in the 
headboard, (2) Grandpa turns into a bat and gets some pussy, and (3) 
Marilyn loses and regains (!) her virginity.  I have reviewed about a 
thousand stories, and this is the first one in which a woman REGAINS 
her virginity.

Ratings for “The Munsters”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9.5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5

“Princess’s Court” by Plainman (an701930@anon.penet.fi).  These seven 
stories are interconnected to such an extent that I do not want to 
review them separately.  It IS reasonable to read one story, then stop, 
then read the next a few days later.  However, I don’t think it would 
be a good idea to read story 7, then 1, then 4, etc.  The proper order 
is:

1. Confession
2. Pre-Trial Proceedings
3. Girl Talk
4: Crime Scene
5: Claire
6: Motion to Dismiss
7: Night Court

The author describes the series as mainly a married male-female 
romance, with lots of adultery in the "wife-watching" vein, lots of 
consensual brother-sister incest, a fair amount of female-female fun, 
several loss of virginity scenes (in reminiscence), some anal sex, and 
a threat of fairly harsh consensual (but protested!) punishment that 
hangs over the whole series and is brought to fruition in the final 
part.  There is no explicit male-male sex, although one character hints 
of interests in that direction There is also no pedophilia. The adult 
characters have children, whom they speak of; but they take appropriate 
care to keep the children away from their sexual activities.

Each story consists entirely of dialogue; we have to infer what else is 
happening.  It’s like overhearing telephone conversations or listening 
through a thin wall at a motel.  Everything not spoken is left to the 
imagination.  Since the conversations are vivid, the reader’s 
imagination is likely to be busy.  

Early on we learn that somebody referred to as Princess is married to a 
man called Trooper.  She has been unfaithful while away on a trip.  She 
tells Trooper about her infidelity, and although he seems titillated, 
he plans to convene something called the Family Court to punish 
Princess.  The other members of the Family Court appear to be David, 
the sister of Princess who has been sexually active with her in the 
past, and Judy, the Princess’s childhood friend and current sex partner 
who is apparently intimately involved with David.  The 
interrelationships among these characters become clearer in succeeding 
stories.

Each story reveals its details in interesting ways.  For example, in 
one segment Princess discusses her infidelity with her husband by 
telephone from an airplane, while she is in danger of being overheard 
by the people around her.  In another segment we hear Dave and Judy 
making love, talking about their past experiences and integrating 
fantasies from the past with their present lovemaking.  The author uses 
flashbacks and innuendo to build some really hot images.

The series was originally entitled “Family Court,” but the author 
changed the title, in order to distance the story from any suggestion 
of pedophilia.  I see his point; but the change lost something 
important.  The term Family Court occurs in the story, with obvious 
reference to the trial and punishment administered to Princess.  
However, a second meaning of “court” (which is not initially evident 
with the original title) is the group of people who hang around a royal 
person - as in “the king and his court.”  As the reader moves through 
the story, it becomes obvious that this second meaning is also relevant 
- the Princess is not only SUBJECTED to a court, she also HAS a court.  
The new title shifts the initial emphasis so far toward the second 
meaning that it ruins the fun that comes from the insight of 
discovering this second meaning.  If you have any idea what I am 
talking about, this paragraph may have been interesting.

I have a brother and sister and associated in-laws with whom I have 
never had sex and don’t intend to do so.  However, I think there is a 
little bit of the Princess in me; and I truly enjoyed the vicarious 
experiences I found by eavesdropping on the Princess and her court.  On 
another personal note, I’m still not interested in getting into the 
punishment and humiliation stuff that Princess gets off on.  On the 
other hand, stories like this help me believe that I really wouldn’t be 
upset if my next-door neighbors were into this kind of thing - as long 
as I had binoculars.  I might even let my kids play with theirs - as 
long as they didn’t have binoculars.

This was an excellent, highly creative story.

Ratings for “Princess’s Court”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

“Field of Desire” by Andrew Roller (an294630@anon.penet.fi).  This is a 
story in the Naughty Naked Dreamgirls series.  I vaguely recall 
reviewing another story in this series a long time ago and saying that 
it wasn’t very good; but I can’t verify this from my database.  The 
present story IS pretty good.

Monique came to America many years ago as an exchange student, when 
Annie was only ten years old and Monique was 17.  Now Annie is 17 years 
old and is visiting Monique in France, where the older woman is married 
to a rich man who has little time for her.  The story focuses on their 
walk across a field of hay, while they discuss sexuality and start to 
get naked as they approach a rustic cabin in which Annie will be 
introduced to the joys of bdsm.  If you are already a bdsm enthusiast, 
you’ll possibly consider the plot to be more coherent than I did.

Ratings for “Field of Desire”
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6

 “Conversation” by Sandmann (bd654@scn.org).  Goddammit!  I really hate 
it when this happens.  Here it is - August 30.  I have a busy weekend 
ahead of me; and so I prepared my Top 15 List for August ahead of time 
earlier this evening.  Then I decided to read one last story before 
going to bed.  I guess I could just bump this review to next month by 
delaying it until the next issue; but then it might be more difficult 
for readers to find the story in the postings.  But I simply refuse to 
bump any more good stories off my Top 15 list for August.  We’ll just 
have to live with sixteen stories in this month’s Top 15!

This story begins as a conversation between two women about the sex 
life of one of them, who mentions that she is sexually uninhibited.  A 
stranger at a nearby table jumps into the conversation and asks her to 
explain what she means by “uninhibited.”  Her friend leaves, and the 
woman continues the discussion with the stranger.  This is a 
fascinating combination of a theoretical discussion and sexual 
fantasies.  It’s a Platonic dialogue run amuck!

As you know, I enjoy “discovering” that various a.s.s. authors are 
“really” someone else.  For example, I have discussed at length my 
theory that Deirdre is actually Sherwood Anderson reincarnated.  More 
recently, I speculated that Harper Lee is the real author of “Tomboy,” 
which was falsely attributed to Jordan Shelbourne.  If I recall 
correctly, I once even exposed J.D. Salinger posting on a.s.s.  In the 
present issue of CR, Plainman is obviously a pseudonym for John Updike.  
I also suspect that some authors on this newsgroup post under more than 
one name.  The present story is a case in point.  This story bears an 
uncanny stylistic resemblance to the work of another excellent author 
whose work I have reviewed here in the past.  However, since the author 
may have some reason for wanting to conceal this dual identity, I am 
not going to disclose the other name under which I think this author 
writes.  If you want to ‘fess up or speculate, you can contact me by e-
mail.

This is a thoroughly enjoyable story!

Ratings for “Conversation”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

