Celestial Reviews 9 - August 5, 1995 - by Celeste

Brief note:  There are some really good stories in this bunch this 
week.  I also want to apologize to people who have sent me stories for 
review.  I appreciate receiving them, but I simply cannot read more 
stories and still have a "real life."  I'll get to them as soon as I 
can.

      Ribald #1 - Tabitha by Anonymous (older man & young
          woman) 6
      "A Chance Meeting" by Anonymous (teen romance) 9
      "First Attempt At Writing An Erotic Story" by Sofonda
           Peters. (Cybersex masturbation) 9
      "Meeting Amanda" by Backrub (sex with a vampire) 10
      "Susan and Becky" by Jonathan Dzoba. (teen ff romance) 10
      "Diana" by Malinov (cunnilingus) 8
      "My Family" by David Mauas.  (mindless sex) 1
      "Jennifer" by Brian (teen romance) 4
      "Office Girl" by Exotica (white slavery) 6
      "Livid Rose" by Moser (hot sex in mysterious scenario) 8
      "Across the Catty Corner" by Backrub (voyeurism, mutual
           masturbation and hot sex) 10
      "Tammy in the Rain" by Tammy Ng. (No rating yet)

Ribald #1 - Tabitha.  Daddy has for a long time been a distant admirer 
of the fair Tabitha, who has been a close friend of his daughter for 
the past 18 years.  His dreams are fulfilled when she spots him 
watching television in bed late one night and asks to join him.  
(Rating: 6)

"A Chance Meeting" by Anonymous.  This is a story about a teenager's 
first sexual experience.  The boy meets the girl first by e-mail, then 
by telephone, and then in person.  The author gives us a build-up that 
makes us understand why these two people care about each other.  I like 
this.  The love scene is sexy and tender.  It almost makes me believe 
that it is even nicer for young people to find out about love and sex 
together like this than from some of the experienced adults who are 
promoted as sexual teachers in some of the other stories found on this 
newsgroup.

I have only one fault with the content of this story.  After inserting 
his penis, the boy withdraws it, and the narrator says: "I wasn't 
stupid -- I didn't want to get her pregnant."  Actually, he *was* 
stupid; people reading this story should certainly be aware that while 
withdrawing before climax reduces the likelihood of pregnancy, it is an 
extremely lousy form of birth control.  Check alt.sex.wizards FAQ 12 
for details.  It was an extremely nice story.

Here's some advice to authors.  I understand and respect the need for 
anonymity, but please use a name of some kind to indicate authorship.  
I think most readers who enjoy this story would be inclined to look for 
other stories by the same author; but all he/she gives us is an anon 
address, which nobody with hormones will ever remember.  The author of 
the first story in this set of reviews solved this problem by labeling 
the stories Ribald #1, etc.  That will work too, as long as he/she is 
willing to keep using that format.  We don't really need to know who 
you really are, but there really is some benefit in being able to 
associate stories with a common source. (Rating: 9)

"First Attempt At Writing An Erotic Story" by Sofonda Peters.  The 
author says this is her first effort, and it's pretty good; it would be 
good even for a veteran writer.  It's about a woman masturbating at her 
keyboard.  Pretty strange idea, huh?  I'll bet none of you have ever 
tried that.  The clincher here is that she describes how she managed to 
suck her own clit.  It's obvious, now that she mentions it; but I have 
to admit that I never thought of this technique myself.  Live and 
learn!

One suggestion: As I've said many times, it really doesn't hurt to 
proofread.  I imagine even I make typing and grammar mistakes, and some 
of them are probably pretty funny.  One mistake this author makes is 
getting the verb tenses mixed up; she should just stick with the 
present tense.  The other mistake is more humorous: she misspells the 
word "muscles."  As I literally understand the story, the protagonist 
has little crabs (mussels) inside her cunt that playfully contribute to 
her orgasm.  Sofonda should probably ignore my rude comment (which 
probably arises from my latent need to dominate people with sexy names) 
and continue writing good stories.  I expect she will continue to 
thrive as an author.  

A further problem is this author's name.  If you're going to go with 
Sofonda Peters, why not Sofonda Cox?  Perhaps Cox was already taken.  
Actually, she was probably named Sofonda by her parents, Mr. and Mrs. 
Dixon, and was engaged to a guy named Cox (which would have made her 
Sofonda Dixon Cox), when she fortunately fell in love with a guy named 
Peters.  If this is Sofonda's real name, I apologize.  But if David 
Letterman can make fun of Dick Assman on national television....

Just before this went to press, I was scanning alt.sex.wizards, where I 
came across "Guide to Cunnilingus."  Since I have my own resident 
expert on this topic living in my own house, I was tempted to skip it.  
But it was posted by Sofonda Peters!  So we have a wizard amongst us.  
It's really an exceptionally good guide.  In addition, I might add that 
although about 80% of a.s.w. is sheer nonsense (about the same as 
a.s.s., I guess) there's some really good stuff there.  I strongly 
recommend their FAQs (a series of 13 written by Elf Sternberg), their 
Guides on various topics, and the polyamory material that occasionally 
appears there.  Anyhow, this was a good story. (Rating: 9)

"Meeting Amanda" by Backrub.  Here we have what my psychology professor 
referred to as an approach-avoidance dilemma.  (When the prof told us 
about it, she talked about pigeons; but I'm pretty sure I still have 
the idea right.)  I had never read a Backrub story I *didn't* like; but 
I had never read a vampire story that I *did* like.  The tension alone, 
of course, would have made a less sophisticated woman cum in her 
panties; but I was wearing none.  Therefore, I boldly went where I had 
never gone before....

What I like most about Backrub is his/her use of language and imagery: 
"From twenty feet away she looked like a living statue, weathered brown 
but taut and strong.  Her short black hair barely moved with her 
movements."  That's beautiful.  The yet unknown woman was coming to 
life for me, but remaining mysterious.  The imagery remained vivid as 
the story got hotter.  To find out more, you'll have to read the story.  
I still don't plan to look for vampire movies, but I do plan to read 
more Backrub stories.  And for some reason I just remembered it's about 
time for me to give blood again.  (Rating: 10)

"Susan and Becky" by Jonathan Dzoba.  This story is written in the 
format of letters from Susan, who is a teenager at an all-girls band 
camp, to her boyfriend.  After a brief build-up in the first three 
letters, the final two letters describe the girl's sexual intimacy with 
her female roommate.  I found the descriptions to be wonderfully 
erotic.  The notion that the story is being told in letters to her 
boyfriend adds a bit of titillation to the story.  What I don't 
understand is how somebody named Jonathan Dzoba could understand so 
thoroughly the emerging sexual feelings of a blossoming young woman.  
Excellent story.  (Rating: 10)

"Diana" by Malinov.  Tender but hot reminiscences about giving head to 
the fair Diana.  The only things that threw me off about this story 
were a bit of discontinuity and a sudden apparently pointless shift 
from the first to the third person point of view near the end.  Still 
well worth reading. (Rating: 8)

"My Family" by David Mauas.  I don't want to appear unfriendly or 
critical of lifestyles that differ radically from my own.  So let me 
point out that it is the author himself who subtitles this story "Puke 
While Reading."  NOW DON"T GIVE UP.  I read this goddam story, and this 
review is interesting, even if the story isn't.  The story begins with 
the hero upset because his sister has been arguing with him; so he goes 
to his room, where he begins rubbing his dog's private parts.  Of 
course, when Punchy gets aroused, the lad lets the hound cum in his 
mouth, and naturally he swallows the vitamin-rich, sweet juices.  (This 
may sound unhealthy, but our hero does brush his teeth right 
afterwards.)  The story gets even more arousing.  Shortly after the 
incident with the dogs (Yes, there were two; I forgot to tell you he 
also fucked Jadie.) his lovely sister asks him if he would like to have 
sex with her.  Jake is aghast, telling "beth" that he has never even 
thought of doing something this repulsive, because it would be "moraly 
wrong."  But she persists and he falls to her wiles.  After our young 
philosopher has first oral and then ordinary but passionate sex with 
his sister, that damsel falls asleep.  As he leaves her bedroom, his 
mother drags him into her own bedroom and has sex with him.  (At least 
I think it was his mother.  He referred to her as Mom and she had 
breasts; but it may have been a sheep or something.  I quote: "Mom 
naturally got pregnant, and today, two weeks after the incident, she 
still hasn't had a abortion. I hope she does."  {Yeah, we wouldn't want 
any inbreeding here.} I don't want to be picky about this otherwise 
well-researched story, but I don't think ordinary humans can accurately 
determine they're pregnant that quickly; but sheep can.  Hence my 
suspicion that Mom is a sheep or maybe an aardvark.  Possibly a rabbit 
- that would explain a lot)  But I'm giving away too much of the story.  

I don't want to write an unduly enthusiastic review of this story; in 
spite of the effluence of inane mediocrity cited in the previous 
paragraph, this story is essentially illiterate.  And I say that in all 
friendliness; the author makes no pretensions to erudition.  His only 
goal is to describe sexual activities in as many disgusting ways as 
possible - as he puts it himself in a moment of accidental eloquence: 
to make us puke while we read.  The story does supply proof that it is 
indeed possible to write several thousand consecutive, partially 
coherent words at a word processor while high on whatever drug this 
writer was using at the time.  I honestly enjoyed the story - or at 
least as much of it as I read before I puked.  (I shouldn't have said 
that.  It will give him a new idea for another chapter.)  (Rating: 1)

"Jennifer" by Brian.  A young girl, who is a virgin, breaks up with her 
boyfriend and gets a ride home from a male friend who has previously 
not been sexually attracted to her.  They make love, and then she makes 
lesbian love to her best friend while the guy has anal intercourse with 
her.  The story didn't quite ring true to me.  The story is possible of 
course; but too much seemed to happen too fast for no apparent reason 
except to work the sexual activity into the story.  (Rating: 4)

"Office Girl" by Exotica.  This is a chilling tale of a young girl 
becoming a sex slave for a company of women.  It's clearly written and 
fairly explicit, but not at all unusual for stories of this type.  
(Rating: 6)

"Livid Rose" by Moser. The author has done an excellent job of creating 
a mysterious, dream-like atmosphere in which to present very hot sex.  
In real life, I suppose lots of us (if we were honest) would admit we 
would enjoy finding a place like the author describes; but that's 
impossible - although I guess rich people mistakenly spend a lot of 
money looking for this.  In the near-real life of porn movies, 
directors have tried to produce this impact; but the results are almost 
always tawdry and phony in their appearance.  By putting this story in 
writing, the author leaves enough to the readers' personal imaginations 
to make seem real what is impossible to find in real life or to portray 
on a screen.

One sequence contains male-male sexual activity, and some heterosexual 
male readers will get turned off about this.  Female readers, I think, 
are likely to tolerate but not particularly enjoy reading about the guy 
taking it up the ass.  (On the other hand, the author assures me that 
he has gotten favorable reactions from guys about this sequence.) I 
myself am attracted by either hetero or girl-girl activity; and I just 
don't care about guy-guy activity, although I often enjoy the 
description of the emotions surrounding the activity.  When I read the 
security guard sequence, I wasn't exactly turned off - I even found it 
interesting, but not arousing.  

I also had a little trouble understanding the logic of the story.  I 
think the logic is there; but it's closely intertwined with the mystery 
elements.  I had to work at understanding the logic and was tempted to 
skip over it and just get on with the sex.  Overall, however, this is a 
really good story.  The only real problem is that it left me feeling 
that it wasn't finished - which is a fact that the author acknowledges.  
(Rating: 8)

"Across the Catty Corner" by Backrub.  In Celestial Reviews 4, I gave a 
rating of 10 to "Catty Corner" by Sue.  I pointed out that "Catty 
Corner" came with a double whammy - a voyeur watching a voyeur and then 
the voyeurs watching each other.  This story brings us to either a 
triple or quadruple whammy - or at least a roaring orgasm.  "Across the 
Catty Corner" tells the same story from the viewpoint of the voyeur in 
the first story, and then goes on to describe what happens afterwards.  
It's simply delightful!  I hope that Sue reads this review and reposts 
"Catty Corner" as soon as possible.  I think the second story will 
stand alone; but I know I enjoyed it more after first reading Sue's 
story.  Incidentally, I can just imagine Deidre or Tammy Ng writing a 
sequel to this story - probably from the perspective of one of them 
leaving a telephone message for the other about what they did while 
they read this pair of stories - or perhaps what an unnamed reviewer 
did shortly after reading these stories.  No - that's too much of a 
stretch.  (Rating: 10)

"Tammy in the Rain" by Tammy Ng.  I have just become aware of the 
writings of Deidre and Tammy Ng.  If you're like me, you've been 
letting their writings slide right past you.  I wish they would just 
put "(Ng Sisters)" in the title line.  I just downloaded this one and 
haven't had time to read it; but I'm willing to bet it's good.  I 
wouldn't have noticed it if Deidre hadn't e-mailed me to watch for it.  
I'll review it next time; but you may want to grab it before it gets 
away.  The other stories I have read by these two writers are extremely 
creative and very hot. (No rating yet)
