Celestial Reviews 357  February 23, 2000

Note: One day a sweet little girl becomes puzzled about her origin. "How did 
I get here, Mommy?" she asks.

Her mother replies, using a well-worn phrase, "Why God sent you, Honey."

"And did God send you too, Mommy?" she continues. 

"Yes, Sweetheart, he did."

"And Daddy and Grandma and Grandpa, and their moms and dads, too?"

"Yes, Honey, all of them, too."

The child shakes her head in disbelief. "Then you're telling me there's been 
no sex in this family for over 200 years? No wonder everyone is so grouchy!"

Second note: Two little boys are sitting in the living room, watching TV with 
their parents.  The mother looks over at the father with a wink and a nod 
toward the stairs to the bedroom.  The father gets the message, and they both 
get up and head towards the stairs.  The mother turns back to the two boys 
and says, "We're going upstairs for a minute.  You two stay here and watch 
TV. We'll be right back, OK?"

The two boys nod OK, and the parents take off upstairs.  The oldest of the 
boys is old enough to suspect what's going on, and he gets up and tiptoes 
upstairs.  At the top of the stairs, he peeks into his mom and dad's room and 
shakes his head.

Back downstairs he goes, back to his little brother.  "Come with me," he 
says, and the boys tiptoe up the stairs.  Halfway up, the older one turns to 
his brother and says, "Now I want you to keep in mind, this is the same woman 
who used to raise hell with us for sucking our thumbs!"

=====================
Celestial Reviews Index:
=====================

"One Again" by Edward Mueller (incest in the woods) 10, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=583246084

"An Uncontrollable Incident" by LES (cockteasing and control) 9, 9, 9
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=58251139older" by MichaelD (BDSM) 10, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=429962412
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=429962417
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=429962424
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=429962430
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=429965378
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=429965384
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=429965391
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=429965396
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=429965402

"Wonder" by Sasha (older woman with younger lover) 10, 9, 9

"Inspired" by Neneh 99 (music & sex) 10, 9, 9
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=585643873

"Bella's Persuasion" by Pee J (friends become lovers) 8, 8, 8
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=584259388

"For the Love of Becca" by Virago Blue
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=546960527

=====================
Guest Reviews:
=====================

"Crush" by Mr Slot (teen romance). Wherryman: 7, 8, 6
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=578776895

"Call Me Jailbait" by Jenny Wanshel (teen seduction of older man). BillyG: 
10, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=583982087

"Rivalry" by Orestes (date rape). Myers: No rating.
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=583570423

=====================
Here are the  Reviews:
=====================

"One Again" by Edward Mueller (edmueller@representative.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=583246084

This is a delightful little story about a young man and his sister who are 
out camping, naked together in the primal forest. He has a panic attack, and 
she soothes him in the best way she knows how.

The author employs a chain-of-consciousness technique that I really enjoyed. 
I encourage you to take a look at this first offering of this new author.

Ratings for "One Again"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"An Uncontrollable Incident" by LES (like_em_sloppy@yahoo.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582511396

So this guy is buying some lingerie for his girlfriend on her birthday. The 
Victoria's Secret salesgirl is putting on a nice little show for him, when he 
suddenly catches her smug, calculating smile in the mirror. At that moment, 
he realizes she is that most evil of all creatures - a cockteaser  a word so 
sinister that until right now it has not been in my spellcheck. 

He's about to abandon the bitch and go on with his shopping, but then a 
Philanthropic Time-Warp Mind-Control Guy comes into the store and offers our 
friend the cockteaser as a present. Since this is a sex story and not Bill 
Nye the Science Guy, it's not necessary to explain how this happens. Just 
assume it's Zeno's Sixty-Ninth Paradox. Our Hero gets the blowjob right there 
in the store. The other patrons just wander past as usual, without noticing 
anything. It's part of the gift.

Our Hero is kind of rough on his salesgirl; but that's OK, because 
cockteasers deserve whatever they get. "Ummmphuugh! Unngk! Ohuunk!" she 
chokes. Cool! Control is what it's all about. As long as the bitch doesn't 
choke and bite your pecker off or puke all over you or something, I suppose.

The Benefactor is actually some sort of itinerant saint. Before he leaves, he 
assigns an appropriate penance for the sins of the cockteasing salesgirl: she 
will blow one guy a day, every day, for the rest of her life. Every day after 
work, the first guy who looks at her like he wants her, she'll get him to let 
her give him a blowjob. There's more, but I won't repeat it all here. The 
fine print turns her future existence into one of those hell myths  like 
Sisyphus pushing his dick up the hill or Tantalus reaching for the boobs that 
moved away whenever he reached for them. But when you think about it, that's 
a small price to pay to become free of being a cockteaser. Presumably shell 
have sex with lots of nice guys. After all, she's allowed to exceed the 
one-a-day minimum, and her new attitude oughta do wonders for a woman with 
her physical attributes. She oughta be grateful. And since Our Hero heard the 
rule about her fate and he manages to be the first one she sees after work 
every day, he CERTAINLY is grateful.

The story has some unusual changes between the past and present tense and 
some other minor grammar problems, but this is a very nice, creative little 
story, and it gave me an opportunity to mention Zeno's paradoxes.

Incidentally, Zeno of Elea was actually an interesting person. I know 
somebody is going to criticize me for bringing up irrelevant information when 
I am being paid to write reviews that focus on objective reality. But that's 
the point. Zeno argued that objective reality is not as objective as it might 
seem. Zeno is not to be confused with Heraclitus. The latter was a 
pre-Socratic philosopher whose main insight was that he couldn't fuck the 
same cunt twice.

Zeno's first paradox was that a cock could never bottom out, no matter how 
big the cock and how tight or small the pussy into which it was inserted. 
This paradox is referred to as "The Stadium," apparently because a stadium is 
where he first noticed or demonstrated the phenomenon. His reasoning went 
thus:

Assume Socrates has a monster cock that is twelve inches long and Xantippe 
has a cunt that is six inches deep. Before Socrates can bottom out, he must 
go halfway into Xantippe's love hole. That leaves three more inches to go; 
but to go those three inches, he first has to shove it half that distance. If 
you think about it, this will leave Socrates with an infinite series of 
steps, which would never be completed. Even if they could be completed, it 
probably wouldn't be worth the effort. In fact, if Socrates did bother to 
think about this paradox, he would almost certainly lose his erection and be 
the object of Xantippe's scorn  which he already was.

As the logicians often say, the opposite is also true. That is, if Socrates 
stuck it up Xantippe's ass, he would face the same paradox.

Zeno's second paradox is possibly more famous. This paradox is known as 
"Achilles and the Tortoise." In this one Achilles is chasing a prostitute, 
whom he has nicknamed his "Little Tortoise." If Achilles starts at one end of 
a football field (American or British  it doesn't matter) he will have to 
travel to midfield before he can reach his Tortoise, who is naked (though 
hobbled by chains, hence the nickname) on the other goal line. But by the 
time Achilles makes it to midfield, his Tortoise will have moved some slight 
distance away from him. Thus, every time Achilles goes half the distance, his 
Tortoise will have moved some distance away  no matter how slight that 
distance might be. Hence, Achilles will never catch up with her. QED.

Both paradoxes involve the notion of discrete motion and limits. As I 
understand it, both paradoxes would be solved if there were no limits  which 
is what many people have been arguing for a long time on this newsgroup. 

Another explanation is that Socrates and Achilles have confused "discreet" 
motion with "discrete" motion. A discreet approach would probably have been 
successful. The discrete approach was the downfall of both Socrates and 
Achilles. {Oedipus had a completely different problem, which resulted in 
blindness. Truth is sometimes stranger than friction.} Unless you're really 
kinky, it's important to know the difference between "discreet" and 
"discrete"  as well as between areolas and aureoles.

Even though no Greeks could disprove Zeno, they continued to fuck away 
anyhow. Thus they were expressing a premonition of Frederick Nietzsche, who 
eventually said, "If it doesn't kill you, it will make you stronger." {A 
woman named Sapphos tried to solve a similar problem on her island of Lesbos, 
but that's another story.}

Finally, there is a story that a professor in a philosophy class at a major 
American university tried to explain Zeno's first paradox by describing naked 
guys lined up against one wall and an equal number of nubile naked nymphets 
chained to the opposite wall, ten yards away. He confidently explained that 
according to Zeno the guys could never make it to the girls. A very pragmatic 
engineer is said to have raised his hand and said, "Excuse me, sir; but 
they'd be close enough for practical purposes."

Although I have updated some of the terminology (e.g., I used inches instead 
of drachmas or whatever the Greeks used to estimate cock size), the preceding 
information is generally correct. I hereby give my permission for any college 
student to submit this information in a term paper or to use it on an exam. 
All I want in return is to hear about your experience.

Ratings for "An Uncontrollable Incident"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

"Destiny" by Al Steiner (al_steiner@hotmail.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=435890564

For a guy, working with a lesbian who has become his best friend may be the 
best of both worlds. He can talk to her like a guy but without the macho 
blustering that is so often part of male-male friendships. 

And so Denise gets the hots for a lady named Destiny, who is willing to go 
out with her, but only if Mel will date her sister. {The narrator actually 
has no name in this story. But I found I enjoyed the story more if I pictured 
him as a Mel Gibson type.} But it turns out that Destiny has a fault: she 
lies  she doesn't even have a sister. She wants to do a concurrent combo 
with Denise and Mel - .as in licking pussy and getting fucked simultaneously, 
sucking cock while her pussy gets eaten, getting ass-fucked while accepting a 
muff dive. You get the picture. Of course, Denise and Mel turn down the 
offer. 

But then Destiny is more persuasive and they go ahead and do it. The scenario 
of a couple of friends with no interest in each other having really hot sex 
with a bisexual beauty was thoroughly arousing.

Ratings for "Destiny"
Athena (technical quality): 8.5
Venus (plot & character): 9.5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Eye of the Beholder" by MichaelD (MichaelD38@aol.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=429962412
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=429962417
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=429962424
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=429962430
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=429965378
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=429965384
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=429965391
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=429965396
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=429965402

I could simplify this review greatly by telling you that the plot centers on 
the narrator's search for "the essential BDSM signifier." That's really what 
it's about, but I think I'll give you some better reasons to read this story 
 some reasons that don't require that you know what in the world an 
essential signifier is. 

The narrator (Danny) is a student pursuing his Masters degree at UCLA by 
doing a thesis on erotic literature. He plans to use a semiotic approach. 
{Although the author discusses semiotics accurately in this story, it is not 
necessary to know anything about that topic to understand and enjoy this 
story. Indeed, you'll probably learn something with little enough effort.} 
Danny's faculty advisor says that he needs to do some "fieldwork" on BDSM, 
and so he writes a story and posts it on a BDSM bulletin board, hoping to 
attract some aficionados whom he can interview.

A bisexual submissive lady named Danielle (Dani) reacts favorably to his 
story, and he meets her for coffee. They go to a place called Club Fuck. 
{Where I come from, you'd never get a license to open a place with a name 
like that. The owner would have to call it Club Puck and pay a kid to 
vandalize the P.} It's a fetish place - black leather, black latex, corsets, 
dog collars, fishnet stockings, sheer tops, spike heels, no silly pretensions 
of modesty--bare flesh, men being led around on their hands and knees by 
female companions.- that sort of thing. Our narrator discovers that Danielle 
is beautiful and sexy, and she lets him hold her leash on their first date. 
In addition, he writes another, much longer BDSM story for his new friend.

So what happens is while the narrator learns about BDSM, so do we. For 
example, faster than you could crack a whip I began to see the humor in a guy 
studying for a Master's degree playing a dominant role with a lewd and 
luscious, lusty and lascivious, little lady on a leather leash. Danny thinks 
of rotting fish to avoid getting aroused. Personally, I resort to labial 
alliterations to solve that problem.

I'm not going to give you a concise summary of how BDSM people tick. I'm not 
sure I could; and the story does a much better job than I could anyway. I'll 
just say that the presentation made sense to me. The story didn't make me 
want to join the BDSM ranks. But hey! I've done time as a cheerleader, and 
Danielle assures us that she doesn't think BDSM is "any different than 
preferring a particular position or wanting to dress up like a cheerleader or 
something like that."

A key point that Danielle teaches our narrator is that BDSM fiction is about 
the FANTASY, not how people would act in real life. The author leaves it 
ambiguous  deliberately, I suppose  whether that statement applies to this 
story as well as to others.

In the story within the story Elizabeth is captured and subjected to a form 
of training that comes pretty close to what I used to be told comprised 
"brainwashing." That is, a captured person is subjected to cruel treatment 
until his resistance is broken down and he begins to accept the beliefs of 
his captors and to feel comfortable complying with their wishes instead of 
continuing his resistance. I think animal trainers sometimes use similar 
strategies. In this case, Elizabeth (predictably) falls in love with her 
captor.

But for me the important part of the story is that the real-life story {the 
part outside the story within the story} comes closer to a reality that I can 
understand. Feelings and emotions are much more complex than those in the 
Elizabeth tale. Danielle falls in love with Daniel because he is a good and 
interesting person, and the BDSM within their relationship is merely a tool 
that adds some spice to their association. That is, their BDSM is a fantasy 
that enriches their lives together, much as my reading these stories and 
writing these reviews enriches my relationship with my husband.

The final version of the story within the story appeals so strongly to Dani 
that she jumps Danny's bones as soon as she reads it, with no need or time 
for additional foreplay. With all due respect, while I genuinely enjoyed the 
overall story, I didn't find the Elizabeth story to be quite that 
stimulating. Indeed, my immediate reaction  and I say this with all kindness 
 was that if something this simple would get BDSM fetishists super-excited, 
then I wondered about their depth of personality. 

The main flaw in the Elizabeth story is that Danny has to resort to a "deus 
ex machina" strategy to bail himself out of the complexities of the plot. 
Elizabeth finds herself captured and brainwashed by an apparent evil tyrant. 
But lo! The tyrant turns out to be the man she was going to marry anyway, but 
now their marriage will be even happier because the Duke is such a damned 
nice guy that he went through all this trouble to torture Elizabeth for her 
own good! I have overstated my case in the preceding sentence, but the simple 
fact is that the chances would be much greater that her captor would have 
been a deviant pervert and that Elizabeth's future would be much less rosy. 
Deus ex machina strategies are abundant in stories on this newsgroup  and 
elsewhere as well; but note that the main story about Danny and Dani does not 
resort to this sort of cheap trick.

After I mulled over the "weaknesses" of the Elizabeth story, it occurred to 
me that I myself have been turned on by even more simplistic stuff that 
appealed to my own fetishes  er, preferences; and so I decided to recant my 
immediate reaction. For example, my husband and I have had several enjoyable 
experiences while watching an obviously silly videotape about three young 
hostesses (called Sky Foxes, I think) who boink the hell out of their 
passengers while the plane is in flight. What I am saying is that maybe 
Dani's reaction is realistic after all.

 {I might add that a story within a story that characters view as "fantastic" 
presents technical problems for an author. That is, the author runs the risk 
of weakening his overall story if the reader finds the interior story to be 
weak in some way. You'll notice in movies about artists, you rarely get to 
see the "great" paintings they are painting: we just see them drawing 
something "great." If we saw the painting, then we might become skeptical of 
its greatness.} 

I don't think I'll be ruining the story by telling you that Dani eventually 
has Danny take her to Mistress Rebecca's dungeon. My only comment is this: it 
would be a real bitch to get insurance on a place like that! Of course, my 
husband assures me that claims adjusters in the insurance business would feel 
quite at home in such a place. I think he meant that in a derogatory sense.

First, with Dani as a visual aid, we get a guided tour of the facilities  
everything from flagellation to dildo play. Later Danny plays the role of the 
Duke in the Elizabeth story while he gives Dani the full treatment.

This is an excellent story, but here's one thing that bothers me from an 
author's perspective: Danny is writing a story about BDSM within the story. 
He learns about BDSM as he goes along. When he comes to a major insight about 
BDSM (one that revolutionizes his attitude toward the topic) he incorporates 
that insight into the story FROM THAT POINT ON. Why wouldn't he go back and 
incorporate that insight into EARLIER parts of the story? I guess maybe the 
answer is that Dan is engaging in a study of cultural linguistics, rather 
than trying to write the best story possible.

I encountered another problem while I was reading this story. If Danny is 
supposed to be getting a Masters degree from a prestigious school, why do we 
have this sentence? "Blind and deaf now, I have to lead her to the rack, 
which lies on the floor." That's a misplaced modifier. What Danny apparently 
means is. "SINCE she is Blind and deaf now, I have to lead her to the rack." 
On the other hand, this sentence is fine: "Her nipples erect, her sex gets 
wet and swollen." That's an absolute phrase. It's OK as written.  But as I 
completed the story, I realized that there was a distinctly different style 
(including variations in grammar) to the story within the story. I suppose 
the author did that on purpose. Hence, I gave the author a poetic license to 
make the grammar errors.

Incidentally, I don't know anyone in real life who insists on being called 
Mistress. I have a close friend who used to be a nun, and she says that they 
used to call their first leader the Mistress of Novices. When I think about 
it, the sort of things my friend went through as a novice in the nunnery was 
a lot like a spiritual version of what the Mistress does in a BDSM story  
make them suffer so that their love will grow. Of course, I have as much a 
problem seeing the connection between what my friend did as a novice and 
authentic religion as I do seeing the connection between the BDSM Mistress 
and authentic love. Actually, of the two, the BDSM Mistress makes more sense 
to me.

I also once ran into a person in a religious discussion group who called 
herself a dominatrix. She appeared to be quite normal  making better sense 
than a lot of the crackpots who were denouncing one another in the name of 
Jesus.

At the very end of the story Danny submits his work to this thesis adviser, 
and it is here that we get a really comprehensive discussion of BDSM. This 
discussion between Danny and his prof is the best discussion of the topic I 
have seen on this newsgroup. I won't try to repeat that discussion here: the 
author does a splendid job, and a proper understanding requires that the 
discussion be read in the context of the preceding story and 
story-within-a-story. I'll add three points to the author's discussion: 

(1) Numerous BDSMers are probably bad at BDSM  either because they are new 
at it or because they are selfish. These people probably don't know 
themselves well enough to realize this, and when they present themselves as 
exemplars of BDSM, they are likely to do a bad job. {People with other 
fetishes or sexual lifestyles are equally likely to be bad exemplars of their 
way of life. For example, if I based my judgment of the monogamous married 
life on what I have seen among some of my acquaintances, I might be skeptical 
of marriage as a kinky form of sex.}

(2) Even people who are themselves good at BDSM may be unable to put this 
experience into words. As I have said repeatedly, if BDSM people want to 
write for their own audience, that's one thing. Writing a story for a broader 
audience is a more difficult task. The present author has succeeded in 
writing a story that enabled me to understand and enjoy some aspects of BDSM, 
because he has written the story in such a way as to overlap his assumptions 
as much as possible with mine. A very large number of authors do not even 
attempt to do this, and they seem to think that people like me are "reading 
badly" when we can make little sense of their stories. {Again, this same sort 
of problem occurs with other sexual lifestyles and other aspects of life. For 
example, I have trouble understanding some stories set in an Islamic 
environment. And if I want to write stories that someone from another 
background will understand, I have to take into consideration their frame of 
reference  otherwise, it is silly for me to blame THEM for not understanding 
my story.}

(3) Many of the stories written about BDSM are written by outsiders who don't 
know shit about the topic, but think they do. For example, an immature person 
who is incapable of a mature sexual relationship and thinks it would be fun 
to impose his will on someone else for his own selfish gratification might 
write a story about sexual torture and call it BDSM. Such writers are 
essentially spewing sexual nonsense, but they cannot understand why people 
don't see the point of their stories.

Ratings for "Eye of the Beholder"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Wonder" by Sasha (hotsasha1@hotmail.com).

She will turn 32 in mere days, and she is completely infatuated with a mere 
boy of 18.  It is more than physical, and less than love. 

The story is mostly build-up, with almost no actual sex. But it's a 
well-constructed build-up. In their saner moments almost any sensible reader 
would wonder why a sexually mature woman would actually want a vastly younger 
man. This story gives one answer to that question.

Ratings for "Wonder"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

"Inspired" by Neneh 99 (neneh99@my-deja.com)
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=585643873

This is a short little snippet about a woman watching a music video on 
television. She tells us what she's thinking and doing. It ties in nicely 
with the music. 

Other than that, it's hard to describe. Take a look at it yourself.

Ratings for "Inspired" 
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

"Bella's Persuasion" by Pee J (peej102@hotmail.com). 

The narrator and Bella have been friends for a long time, but they have never 
become lovers. This story relates the key events that take place on the 
evening they change that status. I won't give the details here; you can read 
the story yourself.

The story has some minor problems with sentence structure and grammar, but 
nothing overwhelming. The plot is simple but sexy.

Ratings for "Bella's Persuasion"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8

"For the Love of Becca" by Virago Blue 
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=584259388

Becca begins the story as a single, pregnant mother-to-be. Her doctor is not 
in; and so she signs up with his partner, who happens to be the hunk she used 
to lust after in high school in a different city. Dr. Hunk is dating a 
worthless bimbo. We have the basis for a heart-warming romance here.

This is "just" a sexy, romantic story. But it has some nice twists  a single 
mom-to-be who regards herself as beautiful and who has a real life that 
blends in nicely with the story, an old friendship that comes back to life, 
and lots of other nice details.

But breastfeeding IS a form of birth control. Just not a very effective form, 
if you're really serious about controlling births.

Ratings for "For the Love of Becca"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

=====================
Guest Reviews:
=====================

"Crush" by Mr Slot (dalech33@optusnet.com.au). Guest review by Wherryman 
<wherryman@quihye.demon.co.uk>
ASSM link: http://assm.asstr.org/Year2000/22525
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=578776895

A simple story of a mutual attraction between two teenagers and the first 
time they make love.  A slight departure, I believe, for Mr Slot from his 
usual output, in that romance is emphasised rather than the ensuing sexual 
interlude.  I may be wrong, as I have not read all of his stories; but I did 
read several earlier posts to get a flavour.

If it was an experiment it was not entirely successful; a good beginning but 
a sketchy middle and an end that didn't seem to have the courage of its 
convictions.  It didn't have the impact of 'Truth or Dare pt1' where a pizza 
delivery boy is appreciated more than the pizza (I shall be catching up with 
the other parts later). Neither did it have the novelty of 'Jell-O', or the 
curious appeal of 'Jessie' - a short post, but *very* interesting in the way 
it is told.

Varied his output may be, but what all his stories share is a need for a 
proofreader.  He handles language well, and his work is spell checked, but 
there is a plethora of those mistakes that a spell checker won't see but a 
competent pair of eyes will, namely where/were/we're, their/there/they're, 
your/you're, and so on.  As well as the usual crop he came up with some 
lesser seen ones; Kylie wanted to *bare* Gary's children (sorry Frank - not 
your type of story after all), and she opens her arms and invites him to 
'Come *hear*, big boy'.

Rating for "Crush"
Technical merit     7
Plot & character    8
Appeal to reviewer  6

"Call Me Jailbait" by Jenny Wanshel (chilly2@biosys.net). Guest Review by 
BillyG (hayden@mindless.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=583982087

If you enjoy a slow, erotic seduction, then this story's for you.  Jenny 
Wanshel does a suburb job of painting the thoughts and emotions of a 
15-year-old, horny girl who is admittedly non-virginal but as yet still 
relatively inexperienced and has set out to seduce an 'older man.'

At a time when Jenny is very conscious and quite proud of her adolescent 
breast development, she falls in lust with Bruce, the husband of her mother's 
school friend.  Jenny knows what she wants and sets out to get it - namely 
the seduction of Bruce.

What sets this little story apart is the intimate look at a seduction, 
largely from a young girl's view coupled with the slow development of the 
sexual energy that marks the erotic impact of this tale. It's slow, measured 
development adds to the sexual tension - one that becomes almost palpable 
it's so delicious.

The story's title doesn't reflect the content; it's a bit sensational and 
refers to nothing more than Jenny's age. It's a solid, well-crafted story and 
one I'd put on my "must read" list.

Ratings for "Call Me Jailbait"
Athena (technical quality):  10
Venus (plot & character):    10
BillyG (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Rivalry" by Orestes (orestes007@hotmail.com).  Guest review by Dave Myers.
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=583570423

You should read it for the story. I'm really telling you this so you don't go 
and get your hopes up that it's going to be a lot of hot sex. I mean, it's 
actually an ok story by itself, regardless of the overtly titillating stuff. 
If it weren't so far-out un-PC you might even imagine it being the kind of 
thing that could get published in Playboy or Nerve. But it most definitely is 
not politically correct, this one.

The basic plot is a campus feminist backlash against the date rape crusaders. 
Now, the subject matter almost feels dated because of that, and this is 
probably the story's biggest weakness. It almost seems like the characters 
aren't informed (in a literary sense) of the slight easing of campus tensions 
that has occurred in the last five years. We're no longer at the peak of fear 
in this arena (which is not to say that this reviewer thinks the problem has 
vanished in any way). This story is just a little late to throw its hat in 
the ring.

The language used surrounding the ensuing situation is pretty one-sided, of 
course, from the male perspective. But putting that aside for a sec, the 
final punch of the story is a zinger that you'll remember for a while. This 
is the part that makes it good writing, and worth the effort.

That said, the attitude of the lead character (I hesitate to say protagonist) 
is a bit clinical, presumably for literary effect. I found this didn't work 
for me, either sexually or cerebrally. Instead, I found myself picking apart 
the author's attitudes toward feminist agendas. Maybe the piece was meant 
more as an essay than a story, but I don't think so. This doesn't bother me a 
lot... the casual reader should just be aware that it doesn't read like a 
stock stroker.

In short, this story was written as a bit of an antidote to the plot of 
Mamet's Oleanna. Your mileage may vary.

{No numerical rating}

CELESTIAL GRAMMAR:

About a year ago I started to work on my Celestial Grammar Book. The idea was 
to publish it and then forbid high school kids to read it. The result would 
be that huge numbers of high school kids would rush out and purchase the 
forbidden book and become better writers by following the sexually explicit 
examples.

I got sidetracked, but when I saw the recent discussion of possessives in 
a.s.s.d., I already had an answer written.

Here is what John A wrote in response to the question, "Is it Chris' house or 
Chris's house?"

<<It's Chris's.

It's trickier when using last names that end in 's' and you're writing about 
more than one of them.

If the last name is Adams, for instance, you would write Adamses for plural 
and Adams's for possessive, unless (and this is true) it sounds like there 
are too many s's all together. So in one sentence it might be correct to 
write:

"The Adamses' maid is nothing more than a live in whore."

and this can also be correct:

"I hope I can find those incriminating pictures of Tracy and me in the Adams' 
safe."

"I'm have to blame the Adamses -- you can't drive and fuck at the same time."

I don't remember where I read that rule, and I'm sure some pedant with more 
time on his/her hands than me will point out an error in there somewhere, but 
I'm quite sure that's correct.

And I do know that it would be 'Chris's house' anyway.>>

John's answer is slightly inaccurate. You would never express a plural by 
adding an apostrophe and omitting the s or es. What John is thinking of is 
that sometimes you omit the s after the apostrophe to make the possessive of 
singular nouns where there would be too many sibilant sounds together. For 
example, you might write 

Socrates's wife
but
Socrates' susceptibility to sexual seduction.

Here is the full treatment from chapter 11 of my unpublished grammar book:

=======

Use an apostrophe plus and s with a noun is to show possession.

Example:  "Sue's pussy" means the pussy that belongs to Sue (at least until 
she gives it to someone else).

To show possession with any noun, just add an apostrophe plus an s.  The only 
two exceptions will be discussed later.

Examples: the man's cock
the men's cocks
the woman's panties
the women's panties
Janey's clit
Mrs. Brown's lovely daughter
Mrs. Jones's daughter

First exception: If a noun is plural and got that way by adding an s or es, 
just add an apostrophe (without an additional s).

Examples: the boy's cock
the boys' cocks
the girl's panties
the girls' panties
Mr. Brown's sex life
The Browns' sex life
Mrs. Jones's daughter
The Joneses' daughter

Second exception: A few multiple-syllable words that have s-sounds at the end 
form the possessive by adding just the apostrophe (without an additional s), 
especially when they are followed by an additional s-sound.

Examples: for goodness' sake
Socrates' sexy wife

It can get more complicated than this. But the main rule is simple: add an 
apostrophe-s to show possession unless the noun is a plural ending in s  
then just add an apostrophe.

MAJOR MISTAKE:  Don't make a noun plural by adding apostrophe-s.  This rule 
applies to all nouns -  including proper nouns. 

The plural of Smith is Smiths, not Smith's.
The plural of Jones is Joneses, not Jones's.

MORE INFORMATION: 

  Compound possessives are discussed in chapter 8.

  Pronouns are handled differently.  They have specifically possessive form 
(e.g., his cock, her clit, whose orgasm, etc.)

  In a few rare cases it is acceptable to use an apostrophe to indicate a plur
al (e.g., the 1980's, two Ph.D.'s,).  This exception is discussed in chapter 
8.

Apostrophes are also used to form contractions.


<end>

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