From: Celeste801@aol.com
Subject: {ASSM} {REVIEW}  Celestial Reviews 349 December 13 Special Christmas Issue - Part 2
Date: 13 Dec 1999 00:00:00 GMT
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<continued from part 1>


"A Charlie Brown Christmas" by Unknown Author.  

This story was listed as cbxmas.doc.  If you want to find it on Deja News, I 
would suggest using "alt.sex.stories Charlie Christmas."  Charlie Brown, 
Sally, Linus, Snoopy - the whole gang from Peanuts are more sexually active 
than we might think.  Indeed, Peppermint Patty and Marcie are lesbian lovers; 
Lucy has finally found a better way to approach Schroeder while he plays the 
piano and tries to ignore her; and Linus has tried to get some nooky from the 
little red-headed girl, but she has been saving herself for Charlie Brown.  
Well, Charlie Brown gets a special Christmas present, and a general orgy 
ensues. This was the best Christmas ever!

This is a pretty good parody - or perhaps a pastiche - not quite as good as 
most of those by Shelby Bush or Uncle Mike, but still pretty good.  I was a 
bit put off by all the urination - it just doesn't sound like all that much 
fun to have somebody piss in my mouth; but other than that I enjoyed this 
story.

Ratings for "A Charlie Brown Christmas"
Athena (technical quality):10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

"Oh, Christmas Tree" by Dulcinea (Dulcinea97@aol.com).  Every year I try to 
make love just one special time under the Christmas tree.  So do the people 
in this story. It's a very nice custom and a very nice story.  As the song 
goes, 

I saw Momma fucking Santa Clause
Underneath the Christmas tree last night....

Ratings for "Oh, Christmas Tree"
Athena (technical quality):10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Candy Cane" by Dulcinea (Dulcinea97@aol.com).  

This story is NOT about the REAL Santa Claus.  Jan and Tony have been working 
together at the Santa Shop in the mall, and after the last evening of hard 
work Jan goes down on him and invites him home for an wilder evening of elf 
sex.

Ratings for "Candy Cane"
Athena (technical quality):10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

"For Now" by Uther Pendragon (anon584c@nyx.net).

It was almost exactly six months ago that I reviewed "Forever," the first 
story in the Bob and Jeanette Brennan saga.  I astutely said it was a good 
story, expressed a wish that the author would post more stories, and rated it 
9.5, 9, 10.  I was also pleased as punch that I had recognized Uther 
Pendragon as the name of the king who established the Round Table on Merlin's 
advice and who subsequently found his true heir (King Arthur) through the ole 
sword-in-the-stone test.

Since that time, this author has not only reposted a revised version of that 
story - cleaning up the imperfections and earning a 10, 10, 10 rating; he has 
also posted six more stories in this series, in addition to a half dozen 
unrelated stories.  At the present time I am going to say that this is the 
best story in the series; but I think that may be comparable to my daughter's 
annual statement that "This is my best birthday ever!" which is invariably 
followed a few months later by "This is the best Christmas ever!"  What I 
mean is that each successive story (a) is excellent itself and (b) makes the 
whole series better.  As I read this story I saw Bob and Jeanette in a 
completely new setting, and I learned things about them that made sense, but 
which I had not thought about before.

The present story is only indirectly about Bob and Jeanette.  It's told 
through the eyes of Bob's sister, Vi, a bright 16-year-old who wants to be a 
psychoanalyst some day but who is at the present time overwhelmed with her 
own problems with her boyfriend.  The sexual activity is equally indirect: we 
infer only what we can learn from Vi's descriptions of Bob and Jeanette, 
while she listens in the room next door while her hot brother and 
sister-in-law go at it in his old bedroom.

This is an excellent Christmas story.  I loved "The Gathering" episode of the 
Waltons, and this is the sexually explicit version of it - except, of course, 
that the Brennans are a smaller family and that Bob is Bob's first name 
rather than the ubiquitous Walton middle name.  The interpersonal and family 
relationships ring true in this story; and even the non-sexual details 
contribute to the sexuality that Vi observes in Bob and Jeanette.  If this 
author does not have a degree in psychology, I hereby bestow an honorary 
degree upon him.

If you have not read the previous stories in this series, do a favor for 
yourself or a loved one this Christmas.  Log onto DejaNews on the Web 
(www.dejanews.com) and punch in the search words "alt.sex.stories pendragon." 
 Download all the stories you find there.  The ones that begin with "For" are 
the Bob and Jeanette stories. They'll give you a warm feeling on a cold 
winter's night.

Ratings for "For Now"
Athena (technical quality):10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Here Cums Santa Claus" by SueNH. 
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=212508399
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=212508415

This story centers around the visit of the lovely and vivacious Sue (who 
looks and acts a lot like me, although she apparently has smaller breasts and 
nipples that respond slightly more slowly than mine do to gentle caresses) to 
the mall's Victoria's Secret shop at the end of a long day of Christmas 
shopping.  Two libidinous female employees invite her to join the after hours 
festivities, at which she will become the Christmas present for the mall's 
Santa.  

I guess I shouldn't spoil the suspense - but the supposed impostor is the 
real Santa himself.  (This is where Sue departs a little from reality.  Her 
Santa is not circumcised.  He was the last time I made love to him.)  Sue has 
a lot of fun with the story, replacing the typical descriptions of sexual 
activity with terms and metaphors related to the Christmas season.  I checked 
with my word processor's "find" function, and the word "musky" doesn't appear 
even once; and the only time "rod" occurs is in the middle of "strode," 
"produced," and "prodigious" - the latter not in its usual context in a sex 
story!  Instead, the aroma emanating from his cock is "the delicate fragrance 
of apple blossoms and almonds, with maybe a hint of balsam fir."  Santa's 
rotund cock is deliciously sweet and fruity.  And Santa's sweet candy cane 
drives deeply into Sue's fiery open hearth.  The only image I found to limp a 
little was Santa's offer to let Sue ride his North Pole.

Of course, like any depraved a.s.s. writer, Sue skirts the moral issue: what 
about poor Mrs. Claus, waiting chastely at home at the North Pole with all 
those tiny but horny little elves?  Nevertheless, this story managed to get 
the vision of Santa's "sugar plum" dancing in my head.  This story definitely 
put me into the spirit of things.  You'll have to read the story to find out 
what Santa said as he rose out of sight. 

Ratings for "Here Cums Santa Claus"
Athena (technical quality):10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Sue Saves Christmas" by Paul LeComte (FA27482@UAFSYSB.UARK.EDU).  

Two heterosexuals and one lesbian (all geologists) are stranded on Christmas 
Eve in a Bolivian desert, bemoaning their lack of holiday cheer - when what to
 their wondering eyes should appear?  It's Sue - filling in for Santa Claus.  
When Sue asks them what they want for Christmas, they all give the same 
answer; and so they have to share Sue, who doesn't seem to mind it at all.  
This is a delightful story!  Read it with someone you love!

Ratings for "Sue Saves Christmas"
Athena (technical quality):10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Christmas Presents" by Ruth White.  
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=205519956
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=205519471
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=205587340

Ray (Rachel) and Jack (Janice) are both computer geeks and crossdressers.  
Neither is gay; but they discover that when they want to pass as female in 
public they can minimize risk of exposure by having one (dressed as a male) 
date the other (dressed as a female).  

They like one another.  As a grammarian, I stated that last sentence 
carefully.  If there were only two persons, I would have said, "They like 
each other."  But actually Ray and Jack like each other; Ray and Janice like 
each other; and Rachel and Jack like each other.  So they like one another, 
although only two of them are ever present at any one time.  Isn't grammar 
wonderful?

As time passes the guys get better at crossdressing and enjoy taking greater r
isks.  They are even more successful as computer geeks and become wealthy.  
At the annual TV dinner (in San Francisco TV does not stand for television) 
Jack wins an award as most improved TV while Ray takes first place in the 
evening gown event.

Now at this point, the idea hit me: "Wouldn't it be a great plot if.... "; 
and that was exactly the plot of the rest of the story.  I enjoyed the story 
even though I thought I knew how it would end.  If you want a clue, read the 
next paragraph.  If you don't want a clue and prefer to be surprised by this 
really creative plot, skip the next paragraph.

Clue:  Skip this if you want to be surprised.  Clue: Think O. Henry.  Further 
clue:  If you haven't guessed it yet, think "Gift of the Magi"!  If you 
haven't guessed the plot yet, you're not very familiar with American 
literature.  Read this story; but then you won't be surprised when you read 
O. Henry's story.  End of clue.  You can resume reading now.

So they make a bet.  Each will live as a woman during the following year, and 
whoever does the best job (as adjudicated by the TV club) will win a vast sum 
of money and will obtain the services of the loser as a personal maid for a 
period of one year. For perfectly sensible reasons that are too complex to 
discuss here, they cancel the bet but continue to live and work as women, and 
Sally (that is, Walter the doctor) moves in with them as their maid.  It 
would also be too complex to explain why Ray finds himself as a client at the 
Institute for the Amelioration of Gender Dysphoria.  And finally comes the 
surprise ending.

As I have read TG stories, I have learned that crossdressers have problems 
that we more blasé people hardly even think about.  For example, if a guy is 
dressed like a girl in a bar and gets carded, what does he/she do about the 
picture and information on the driver's license?  And novice male CD's have 
problems typing with those long fingernails.  I have also learned that TG 
stories are often very creative.  I have no urge to become a crossdresser 
myself or to become sexually involved with one, but I find the ideas in 
stories like this one to be extremely creative - not _sexually_ stimulating, 
but very creative and _intellectually_ stimulating.  Although this story 
could benefit from a good proofreading, it is still an exceptionally creative 
tale.

Ratings for "Christmas Presents"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Christmas Break" by Mat Twassel (mmtwassel@aol.com).  

The man is sitting in his office, watching the consultant finish up her work 
at the computer.  The company makes screen savers, and he doesn't know for 
sure whether she is testing his in-house version, which contains embedded 
erotic events <g>.  He also can't help thinking about the doorknob in her 
hotel room and the wonderful things the consultant might do to herself before 
or after a shower.  Eventually, he confronts her on the elevator with a mild 
sexual innuendo.  For the denouement, you'll have to read this delightful 
story yourself.

Ratings for "Christmas Break"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Christmas Tale" by Frank Ashby.  
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=273532382

Frank and Gladys are hedonists.  I know this because instead of going to 
church on Sunday, they stay at home and fuck; and before the third enfuckment 
they discuss swinging, and Gladys gets so turned on that she's eager to take 
it up the ass.  By this I don't mean they are irreligious: the church people 
probably preferred that they stay at home, since they would have been 
distracted by all that fucking, especially the anal part, and especially if 
the sermon was boring or the choir was off key.  Anyway, Frank and Gladys 
sponsor a sort of secular version of the Waltons' Homecoming or Gathering or 
whatever their Christmas special was called.

The participants in the reunion are fairly normal people whose value systems 
and lifestyles differ somewhat from my own. I would say that they are like 
folks next door, but the folks next door to me go to church every Sunday, and 
I think they shudder at the very notion of anal sex.  The story is big on 
incest, but it's not the exploitive type of incest that many readers find to 
be distasteful.

The story is told by the participants themselves, as they remember it.  There 
are four different parts, each told from a different perspective; and the 
details of their stories do not always agree. This is an interesting 
approach: the same incident can be remembered differently by different 
people, because nobody sees the whole picture.  Each person sees only that 
part of the scene that could have been seen from his or her perspective, and 
even that part may be remembered imperfectly because of emotions or 
subsequent activities.

The only minor weakness in the story is that it would have benefited from a 
good proofreading before going to press.

Ratings for "Christmas Tale"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Christmas Carol" by Mark E. Dassad (Ole.Joe@poboxes.com).  
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=219032319

The narrator is a unintelligent embodiment of high school swine who decides 
to take an unattractive seventh-grader to a Christmas booze and drugs party 
so that he can pop her cherry.  It turns out that he shares her with a bunch 
of other guys he hardly knows.  The girl doesn't exactly enjoy it, but the 
guy sure feels good about his contribution to society.

If it weren't for the overall illiteracy of this story, it would possibly be 
a very good story.  I don't think many of us would actually recommend 
gang-rape like this in real life, but the story is a vivid and realistic 
portrayal of a really shallow lifestyle.  If it were clearly written, the 
story could give us an insight into the mind of a bizarre pervert - like many 
of those whom we might find in the real world today.  It's very difficult to 
write dialogue in such a way as to make the characters look illiterate 
without letting the story itself degenerate into benighted stupidity, and 
this author is not completely successful in his endeavor.  Nevertheless, I 
can't help suspecting that this might be a good story, if it were cleaned up.

Ratings for "Christmas Carol"
Athena (technical quality): 5
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8

"Wrapped Attention" by Uther Pendragon (anon584c@nyx.net). 
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=308537374
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=308537384
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=308537377

Some people read a story once and then skip it forever after, because they 
have "already read it."  Same with movies, video games, and women they've 
humped, I suppose.  Been there, done that, got the tee-shirt.  Occasionally, 
however, it may be good to revisit the past.  This may be especially true if 
the former sex partner has grown into a more mature lover - I'm speaking 
hypothetically, of course - or if the author has revised the story.

This is a story about the first sexual experience of a young college student, 
which occurs during Christmas vacation with a man nearly twice her age. 
Originally the author attempted to describe the activities as comprising a 
tender scenario, but I felt he slowed things down so far that the events 
became boring.  This author usually writes vibrant, upbeat stories; but this 
one did not yet have those characteristics.  My assumption was that he would 
return to the drawing board and inject into this story the energetic life 
that it deserved. If I was going to read a story like this, I wanted it to be 
interesting and lively as well as tender and meaningful. And behold, during 
this Christmas season of A.D. 1997, a star appeared in the sky and my 
prophecy was fulfilled.

So the tender lover deflowers his uptight, young sweetheart so carefully and 
considerately that even the pope's mistress would become orgasmic.  This 
story is still not as good as those in the Bob and Jeanette Brennan series; 
but few stories are.  I might add that anybody who successfully writes a 
story about an actuary as a sex object deserves a special award!  I enjoyed 
this story very much and strongly recommend it as part of your Christmas 
reading.

By the way, the title contains a pun; but I'll bet you can figure that out 
yourself!

Ratings for "Wrapped Attention"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Snow Flake" by DG (dionysian1@hotmail.com). 
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=316371386

I planned to just glance at this story late at night and then read it in the 
morning.  However, once I started, I couldn't put it aside.  My husband could 
wait.  Heck, if he fell asleep waiting for me, I'd feel guilty and make it up 
to him with one of my famous blowjobs.  By the way, that's the Second Blowjob 
Principle: If you screw up, give the person for whom you screwed up a good 
blowjob, and he probably won't care.  This principle may fail for someone 
else, but it has never failed me with regard to my husband.  Sometimes he 
even tricks me into screwing up so that I'll have to resort to the SBP.

Back to the story.  A man has to finish his thesis quickly, so that he can 
get his Ph.D. and a job.  He plans to shack up alone during Christmas 
vacation at his parents' isolated cabin in the Adirondacks.  On his way to 
the cabin and in the midst of a huge snowstorm, he comes upon <g> an 
overturned car, which contains the nearly frozen body of the beautiful woman 
who (we may suppose) will become extremely grateful to him for saving her 
life and who will serve as a major distraction with regard to that thesis.

The woman turns out to be a psychic.  We know this because (a) she says so 
and (b) she has an aureole instead of an areola around each nipple.  Psychics 
are like that.  Even the Lone Ranger's faithful psychic Tonto.  Actually, 
this paragraph is largely a sarcastic spelling lesson.

Since Alan is a scientist, he doesn't really believe Dee is a psychic; but 
because she is very grateful and appears to be interested in applying one of 
the Blowjob Principles as a means of expressing her gratitude, he decides to 
play along.  As the author puts it, ".... something about Dee made it seem 
natural and right."  I won't tell you any more of the plot, except to say 
that the sex is very hot and well integrated into the story line.  The story 
is sort of a hedonistic, druid version of an episode from "Touched by an 
Angel."

Here's an example of an ambiguous expression: "After laying the cold, limp 
body on the couch...."  It would have been better to say "After laying the 
cold, limp body DOWN on the couch...." or "placing the body, etc."  
Especially with a dead body, the present phraseology sounds like necrophilia. 
 Actually, the grammar is NOT a serious problem in this story.  This is an 
exceptionally well-written story, and I enjoy finding minor problems with 
nearly perfect expression.  That's why I'm an English teacher.  As my husband 
once said, "If you're going to be a bitchy perfectionist about one of the two 
things you're exceptionally good at, I'm glad you chose to be an English 
teacher."

Ratings for "Snow Flake"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Room with a View" by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com).  
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=308963341

Malinov has apparently been coordinating some sort of cyber-orgy to celebrate 
the winter solstice. I don't know much about it; but that's OK.  I think the 
orgy is taking place at Malinov's web site.  This story is associated with 
Malinov's orgy, but it still makes good sense to me as an outsider.

The narrator meets a woman at the orgy and they talk seductively.  Then they 
go to a room and fuck.  That's the short version.  Aster's version has more 
details and is more likely to make you feel good inside.  Grammatically, that 
final adverb can become a preposition if you add a proper object after or 
while reading this story.

Ratings for "Room with a View"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Seduction" by A Magician (a-magician@mailcity.com). 
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=309002051

Because of a failed marriage, the narrator has become seriously depressed.  
Seeing little meaning in life, he finds himself poverty-stricken and 
practically homeless on Christmas eve in Atlanta.  Because the YMCA where he 
is staying is crowded, he is assigned a roommate - a handsome young man who 
comes on to him and eventually seduces him.

It turns out to be one heckuva sexually intimate one-time encounter.  The 
narrator does not "become" gay, but he thoroughly enjoys the experience, and 
it rejuvenates his life.  The author does an excellent job of vividly 
integrating past memories with current sexual experiences.

If this involved women, I would label it "hot ff sex," and readers of both 
genders would enjoy it.  However, I suspect that since this is "hot mm sex," 
some men will not enjoy this story.  I personally did enjoy it very much, and 
I urge you to take a look at it with an open mind.

Ratings for "Seduction"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"A Very Rejected Christmas" by OddManOut Anywhere.  

This story purports to be a rejected letter from the Penthouse Forum.  Like 
almost all those letters, it begins, "I am an avid reader of your magazine, 
but I never in my wildest dreams thought that the stories you print could ever
 happen to me.  That is, never until last Christmas eve!"  In spite of being 
a 5'8" blonde with a 36C-22-36 frame, Lisa is still a virgin at 21. No!  I 
know what you're thinking!  This is not a letter from ME.  I am not a blonde.

The plot is not exactly complicated.  Lisa and her friend Pam go to Florida 
for Christmas vacation, so that Lisa can get her cherry popped by the sexy 
guys who surely must hang out there.  The find no men to speak of, but Santa 
finds Lisa and Pam; and he fills Lisa with his throbbing north pole in the 
midst of numerous other cliches.  In fact, the main purpose of this story is 
to relate as many Christmas expressions as possible to sexual activity.  Lisa 
has her best Christmas ever!

Ratings for "A Very Rejected Christmas"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8

"Winter Solstice" by Raven M. (adennehy@internetMCI.com). 

When Queen Guenivere leaves them alone for a while, the ladies of the Round 
Table decide to find a way to celebrate the winter solstice.  The druids 
celebrate with lovemaking; but the ladies' husbands are all gone on a hunt or 
quest or something.  What are the women to do?  Well, have a lesbian orgy, of 
course.

I did not find the sexual descriptions to be exceptionally vivid, but the 
medieval atmosphere did enhance them.  This is a very nice story!

Ratings for "Winter Solstice"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8

"Christmas Dinner" by Tom Bombadil (stbush@iglou.com).  
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=423894170

This is a very touching story about a wealthy man who has found meaning in 
life by working at a soup kitchen that serves the homeless.  As the title 
suggests, the focal point of the story is Christmas dinner.  The story 
contains very little sexual activity: it's romantic rather than sexy.  I can 
tell you no more, because people who like this sort of story usually enjoy 
discovering the details by themselves.

Ratings for "Christmas Dinner"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Claustrophobia" by Adrian Hunter (adrian_hunter@hotmail.com).  
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=309355948

My Christmas contest has evoked all kinds of entries.  This one may be the 
most unique entry.  I know, I know - "unique" doesn't have a comparative or 
superlative.  Either something is unique, or it's not.  This story proves 
that rule wrong. This one is probably the most unique entry.

The woman works for a senator in Washington DC.  Some time ago, she had 
exposed a jerk she worked with as a fraud - specifically, she obtained a 
sexually embarrassing picture of him and circulated it among his colleagues. 
As the story begins, somebody (she assumes it is this jerk) is not exactly 
raping her, but he's abusing her very cruelly while a Christmas party is 
going on nearby.  But that's not the only connection with Christmas.  To find 
out more, you'll have to read the story.

This story is extremely well written.  My rating of "8" for appeal to 
reviewer is probably a personal quirk.  Those of you who enjoy a clever 
torture story may find this to be one of the best of that genre.  Really!

Ratings for "Claustrophobia"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8

"Christmas in Scarsdale" by MrSpraycan (mrspraycan@mailanon.com).  
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=309121635

This is a follow-up to "Christmas Carole," which I reviewed in CR 242. The 
time is still 1941. In fact, it's just one day later, and Carole is beginning 
to bring Pat out of his secluded sexual existence.  His lessons for today are 
lesbianism and mild bdsm.  Pat is shocked and elated to know that there are 
women in the world like Carole - women who crave and enjoy sex as much as men 
do and who want to be dominated by sexy men like himself. He is excited by 
the very thought that one of these women considers him to be the perfect 
stud.  Meanwhile, Carole seems to have her mind set on a new lifestyle that 
involves her and Pat being together a lot more often.

I suspect that MrSpraycan has a lot more stories for this incipient series.  
This story could stand alone, but I would recommend reading the other first.

Ratings for "Christmas in Scarsdale"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Christmas Present For Kathy" by Unknown Author (posted by 
storiesman@aol.com).  

The man is driving Kathy are coming home from a formal dinner, and they stop 
off for a peep show.  They go into the booth in their formal attire and 
proceed to hump while the woman on the screen gets her ass fucked.  The 
action is badly coordinated.  Neither the plot on the screen nor the plot of 
this story has much to offer.  Oh!  This is called a Christmas story because 
they were coming home from a formal party on Christmas eve.

Ratings for "Christmas Present For Kathy"
Athena (technical quality): 6
Venus (plot & character): 5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5

"Stocking Filler" by Bronwen (bronwen@anon.nymserver.com). 
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=313963903

The husband has promised to get the best Santa costume ever.  The wife has 
skipped midnight mass and has sexed herself up to give Santa the ride of his 
life.  The rest of the plot is easy to guess: the wife will fuck the brains 
out of the wrong person.  Right?  'Tis a simple plot, but Bronwen will make 
it interesting.  Right?

Well, close - but way off!  This is an extremely imaginative, highly sexy, 
magical, just plain erotic story of Christmas sex.  I'm not even going to try 
to summarize it any further.  If you're interested in Christmas or sex or 
pagan gods or anything in between or all of the above, you'll love this story!

Ratings for "Stocking Filler"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Dance With Me" by Ellen Hayes (ehayes@nym.alias.net).  
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=309694229

The rules of this contest said I would interpret the Christmas theme loosely. 
 In this case the story is about a high school Christmas dance, but David 
doesn't even go into the gym where the dance is being held.  While waiting 
for his date, he is diverted to a different, very romantic location by an 
exceptionally attractive strange woman, who initiates him into the rites of 
sexual pleasure.  There's a lot more to the story than this, but I really 
can't say much more without ruining it for you.

The author writes in a flawless style that makes the complex plot easy to 
follow.  This is an extremely good story.

Ratings for "Dance With Me"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Tongue and Cheek" by Hawk "Santa" Richards (hawkrds@aol.com).  
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=298478921

The term "tongue in cheek" refers to the notion that a person is kidding - 
that it's necessary to place one's tongue firmly against one's cheek in order 
to refrain from breaking out in uproarious laughter when the naive listener 
swallows what we are saying.  Needless to say, that's not the sort of tongue 
'n cheek we're talking about here.

As the title suggests (I say, tongue in cheek), the narrator gets fired from 
his job right before Christmas, and the only job he can get is that of a 
department store Santa Claus.  As the author points out (tongue in cheek), 
there is nothing like a fat guy in a red suit to turn on the ladies!  And as 
the narrator says (tongue in cheek) to a female passerby who rejects this 
hypothesis: "HOE! HOE! HOE!  YOU FUCKING HOE!"

Well, you'll have to read the story to get the full meaning of this title and 
to discover what this has to do with Santa getting a blowjob from a hooker 
near Santa Central.

Ratings for "Tongue and Cheek"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8

"The Night Before Christmas" by M1KE HUNT (MrMike@aol.com).  
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=298812646

"Fucking Mike Hunt!"  That's the title of a story by this author, you know.  
A good story.  One that I rated it 10-10-10.  Mike Hunt usually writes 
stories with himself as the legendary hero who copulates with June or the 
twins or a rapacious slut in an elevator.  This one doesn't even sound like 
Mike Hunt.  I suspect it's a leftover from the estate of O. Henry.

"Fucking Mike Hunt!"  See, the problem is that I already KNEW who was going 
to win my Celestial Christmas Story contest.  And then this story arrives, 
and now I have to stop and think and reread the stories and diddle myself and 
lose sleep over this decision and eventually decide who wins my prize.

With my luck, I'll get even more good entries!

I can't tell you much about this story, except that it's about a young man 
and a young woman, neither of whom is especially religious, who have been 
celebrating the Christmas/Hanukkah season together in a special way since 
they were newlyweds.  Since I have already told you that this story is in the 
style of O. Henry, you can surmise that there is a surprise ending; but 
you'll get no more clues from me.

Ratings "The Night Before Christmas"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"My Xmas Threesome" by Patty Nickel (eyesopen4@hotmail.com).  
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=297862399

Three people watch the Queen's Christmas speech and then have sex.  I think.  
The author offers a web site where we can find even more stories of 
comparable quality.  People who say that no story is really worthless have 
not read this one.

Ratings "My Xmas Threesome"
Athena (technical quality): 1
Venus (plot & character): 1
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 1

"Another Christmas Carol" by James Martin 
(amateurerotica.guide@miningco.com).  
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=297651519

My husband has always been reluctant to buy me sexy lingerie.  At first he 
would simply say, "You already look sexy; and all I'd do would be take it off 
of you."  When I explained that that activity itself might be interesting, he 
switched from the utilitarian argument to the more ambiguous statement that 
"it gets hard when he has to deal with the sales personnel."  I assumed that 
"hard" meant "difficult" and that "it" was a weak and indefinite use of a 
pronoun, common among non-English teachers.  Having read this story, I now 
understand his problem: "it" has a more definite antecedent, and "hard" 
refers to epidermal surface tension.

This is a very clever story about a man who goes shopping to buy lingerie for 
his wife for Christmas.  If sales personnel gave all their customers this 
much attention, they would certainly earn their Christmas bonuses.

Ratings "Another Christmas Carol"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10


<end>

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