Title: on the stars we'll tread
Author: Cait N.
Series: VOY
Pairing: J/C
Rating: G/PG
Feedback: Yes, please! caitn@mindspring.com
Web url: http://www.asstr.org/~CaitN/voy/onthestars.html
Disclaimer: Paramount owns the characters; the story belongs to me.

Author's Note: An answer to Lori's Evil Challenge, of having one
character in the story speak the complete lyrics of a song. The huge
chunk of Chakotay's dialogue is from the song "Something Stupid" and
the version I like is by Robbie Williams and Nicole Kidman. :)
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/robbiewilliams/somethingstupid.html

Summary: After a somewhat embarrassing night, Chakotay has some important things to get off his chest.

- - - - - - - - - 


Chakotay jumped as the door chime went off. He ran a hand through his hair, knowing without a doubt who wanted entry. Their confrontation had to happen sooner or later - he'd just hoped for later.

"Come," he said, probably a little more tersely than he'd planned. 

Janeway entered, hesitantly, looking as if she'd probably rather be anywhere other than his quarters. She stopped just in front of the door. "Chakotay," she began.

"Have a seat," he interrupted, anything to avoid the stumbling platitudes he was sure would pour from her lips.

"I'm fine." Her chest rose as she took a deep breath. "I wanted - no, needed - to apologize for last night."

He snorted with derision. "I think we both know I'm the one who should be apologizing."

She shook her head. "I gave Neelix permission to have the party, I nagged you into going, I teased you into drinking his spiced cider -"

"You knew Tom had spiked it?"

"No, of course not, but -"

"Then it's not your fault. I knew with the first drink that it was more than just cider in there, but I went ahead and finished the glass. And had a second one, too!" He leaned back against the wall, perfectly sober and perfectly aware that after his behavior of the night before, he had precious little else to lose by speaking his mind. In fact, there probably wouldn't be a better time. "You know what last night was, don't you?"

She wrinkled her brow. "Neelix's '6 weeks without shore leave' party. Holodeck, tacky decorations, too loud music. I was there, remember?"

"No, Kathryn," he said using her given name, a rare occasion these days. "It was the one year anniversary of our rescue from New Earth."
"Oh." That one word was laden with a kiloton of meaning. She sat down in the chair nearest the door. "I didn't realize."

He ran his hands through his hair again. Briefly he doubted the wisdom of what he was about to say next, but what had Tom said once about 'fools rush in'? He was definitely a fool. Especially after last night. "I'm sorry about last night."

"Chakotay, we've already established that you have nothing -"

"I know I stand in line until you think you have the time to spend an evening with me."

"That's not true," she disagreed. "I know I'm probably more in demand than a 'normal' ship's captain, but I always have time for you." She held up her fingers as she listed off her points. "We have dinner together sometimes, we go to the holodeck--"

"And if we go some place to dance I know that there's a chance you won't be leaving with me."

"You're talking about the problem with the Voslix. I know I should have let Tuvok handle it, but they were asking to speak to the 'leader' of the 'foreign vessel' and I knew we could finish our dance another night. Besides, Sandrine's isn't the greatest program for dancing." She laughed, but it was forced. At his continued silence, she rushed on, "And the party last night wasn't that bad."

"And afterwards we drop into a quiet little place and have a drink or two."

"That's true, we did find time to slip away." She gave a half-smile. "You really didn't need anything else to drink, but since it was papaya juice, I didn't object."

He threw up his hands in disgust. "And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like 'I love you'."

She squirmed in her seat. "I know it was the drink talking, and I completely understand."

"I can see it in your eyes you still despise the same old lines you heard the night before."

She chuckled at the memory. "I have to admit the 'You're so hot, when I wake up in the morning I'm going to have to get a spanner to pry the sheets off my stomach' line was pretty original." Her laughter died out at the seriousness in his eyes. "I know you didn't really mean the 'I love you', Chakotay. It's okay, really it is."

"Though it's just a line to you, for me it's true and never seemed so right before."

"Stop it. Stop saying that." She stood up and made to leave, but he rushed forward and grabbed her by the arms.

"I practice every day to find some clever lines to say to make the meaning come true." He stared at her until she looked him in the eyes, hoping she could see the love and honesty and pain that was bubbling inside him - had been bubbling since almost the first moment he walked onto her ship. 

"But then I think I'll wait until the evening gets late and I'm alone with you." He loosened his grip to stroke one hand lovingly against her hair, tracing the silky strands. 

"Chakotay," she whispered. He couldn't tell if it was a command or a plea.

"The time is right, your perfume fills my head, the stars get red, and oh the night's so blue."

She smiled at his rhyme, remembering their discussion on New Earth about how the night sky looked so different from the "scientific' view they had from Voyager.

"And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like 'I love you'."

She looked him in the eyes, realization finally sinking in. "You really mean it?"

He nodded, unable to say another word.

She stood on tiptoes, still looking in his eyes, as she raised her lips to his. "Promise me you'll say something stupid every day for the rest of your life?"

He groaned and wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her tight.

Her kiss was feather-light. "Happy belated anniversary, Chakotay."

He smiled. "Yes, the one year and a day anniversary of our last night on New Earth."

She shook her head, eyes shining bright with love and happiness. "No, the one day anniversary of the first time you told me you loved me."


THE END


For once, Chakotay was speechless.

No more words were needed.

Outside the viewport, the stars twinkled with approval.


Title from the poem: 
Song
By Helen Dudley

 

  A few more windy days
Must come and go their ways,
And we will walk
My love and I
Beneath the amber-dripping boughs.

  Then on the stars we'll tread,
On purple stars and red,
And wonder why
The while we talk
Men sing so much of broken vows.

 


