My first time was in college back in the eighties. I was dating this girl named Autumn. She was tall, about 5'10", and very curvy with a large bone structure though not fat. She was probably a B cup. I was a bone and about half inch shorter than her. We started out just friends. We would get together and talk at all kinds of odd times. Deep conversations. 

One evening it got late and we were on one of those old wooden swings hanging off a mammoth oak tree on campus. The kind some folks have on their front porch. It was one of those moments when you are just hanging out talking with your friend, the next thing you know we are holding each other and kissing. I was the one who initiated the kissing. I was holding her and realized that she was turning me on, that she might mean more to me than a friend, and then I launched a gentle kiss. Well received a lauched another one. It seemed forever from the time that I moved from her lips to her tongue. My hands just holding her and too scared to do anything else. It was one of those times you realize you and your best friend might mean more to each other.

We were both virgins at the time. She was 17 and I was barely 18. Somehow she had managed to finish high school in three years. We must have kissed for hours on end. By 1:00am we were officially dating. We found ourselves talking about everything, each seeming to know the other's thoughts, and kissing every evening from then on out somewhere on the campus. 

Naturally kissing led to back massages and the occasional slip of the hand. I was always afraid of getting my hand slapped. This was still the 80's when you did not just hop right in the sack if you were interested in a long-term relationship. When the girls did not want to appear easy. Plus it was difficult to find any privacy since neither one of us owned a car. We were in no hurry and did not want to ruin a good thing. 

I was often horny and found myself back in my dorm room thinking about making love to her. I imagined my hands all over her, her bringing me to climax with her tongue, and making love till the sun rose. I could not wait to see her tits for the first time. The thought of getting my face between her legs drove me wild. But the mind was as far as I got.

Within about six weeks  we were standing in the shadows of one of the campus buildings kissing each other and I decided to make the bold move of  running my hands between her legs. She was wearing blue jeans and all I could do was to rub the outside of her pants to gauge her interest. I think it freaked her out the first time, but I sure enjoyed it. She was startled and I figured I was in trouble. I had been hoping she would return the favor, but she did not. That brief grope left me with a perpetual hard-on every time I thought of her.

One night I dared to carress her breasts through her shirt while we were kissing. She did not seem to object too much. I could tell she was aroused because her nipples were hard. But still I had not managed to get her to caress my cock. My balls were in a state of perpetual blueness.

Another month of kissing and my occasionally squeezing her boobs went by and I managed to borrow a car for an evening. We wound up parked way out in the country in a field and I turned the radio on softly. We started kissing. This went on for at least an hour. I blew on her neck and nibbled on her ears to turn her on. I kissed the bottoms of her ears and moved down her neck to her chest. Grinning I asked if she minded. She said no and I began to unbutton her blouse and cup her breasts through her size B bra. I pulled her shirt completely out of her blue jeans and took it off leaving only her bra to cover her chest. I was already on the verge of exploding I was so turned on. Here she was with her shirt off and I bewitched by her beauty and completely in love with her.

For the next 15 minutes I kissed her chest and her nipples through her bra. I ran my hands up and down her back. I kissed her flat stomach at times and ran my tongue down to the top of her jeans. She was gorgeous in the moonlight and I wanted her. Gaining confidence I unbuttoned her bra and let her virgin breasts fall free. They were perfect and soft to my touch. I kissed them, nibbled on her nipples, carressed them, and tried to make her as horny as possible. It was our first time and I wanted to enjoy every minute of it. 

All this time I was hard as a rock and hoping she would unzip me or at least caress my hardness. She did not. I was the one making all of the moves. Eventually I moved to the buttons on her jeans and asked if it was okay. She reluctantly said yes and I began to unbutton her pants. I had wanted to have sex with her for months and I was hoping to finally make love to her. 

She was more beautiful in the light of the moon than I had imagined. Her thighs were curvy and her stomach was firm. Her silk panties nicely covered her furry mound which left an indention across her V in the moonlight. I took a few minutes just to admire my lady stretched out across the backseat almost completely nude and all mine. It was the moment I had been waiting for all of my life.

I wanted her and I hoped she wanted me. She was a nervous wreck and I was going real slow hoping she would let me go all the way. Returning my attention to her panties, I gently ran my fingers down her legs on the outside hips and then returned with my hands on her inner thighs. I did this a number of times to gauge her reaction. I did not want to lose her and I wanted to make sure it was okay. We were both virgins and I was nervous as hell. 

Her legs were not spread so I had to gently glide my fingers across her mound just to the bottom of her V where her legs were closed. I would run my fingers in wide arcs from her stomach, along her thigh, and then across her V protected by her panties and closed legs where I would slow down and let a finger drift between her legs as if to beg her to spread her legs. She teased me by not opening them yet. I let my fingers glide across her mound feeling the hairs of her pussy through her panties savoring the moment, the new sight, the feel of ecstasy as I explored new ground. As my fingers ran the gamut of silk, I felt new sensations all over my body as I desired her all the more. I smelled the new aroma of her. 

After teasing me till I thought I was going to explode in my jeans, she finally spread her legs and my fingers moved down and began to rub her through her panties. She was soaking wet. She began to moan a little and I was feeling consumed by her. My fingers found the slight indention to her pussy and I rubbed a bit more enjoying this new territory I had never explored before. 

I adjusted my self, spread her legs, and placed my face between her legs for a better view as I was getting bolder. I ran my tongue down the top of her panties into the forest of covered hair. I wanted her bad. My tongue went the full length of her panties between her legs so that her hairs were quite obvious through her wetness and the added wetness of my tongue. I could have moved her panties aside and fucked her right then if she would have let me.

I began to gently pull her panties down, watching her eyes for permission, as my tongue danced down her exposed hairs to her clit. I took forever doing this, not wanting to ruin the moment. I eventually found my way to her clit and began to caress it with my tongue. She was very excited and she began to play with my hair and pull my face closer. I wanted her very badly. I let my tongue run up and down her clit while she moaned in pleasure. Holding her hips, I let my tongue slip in her and move around in gentle but rapid motions. Her pleasure was my goal. Eventually her hips began to girate as I moved faster with complete animal lust for her. Even today, 25 years later, I remember these moments as if they were today and I long for her.

After more loving her with my tongue and gently caressing her with my fingers (though not inside her), her hips went wild, her moaning increased, and she was on the verge of screaming as she had an orgasm. I brought her to climax 2-3 more times before the night was done.

We held each other for a long time, we promised we would be together forever, but all I could get on this occasion was a caress of my cock through my jeans. I think she was scared and she did not want to give up her virginity yet. The sex would have to wait. 

To make matters worse, we ran the car battery down by leaving the radio on into the late of the night and had to get a boost the next morning. It was a borrowed car and the owner, a freshman living in her dorm, was a bit mad about us being so late. We were never able to borrow that car again.

Of course I was more in love than ever before. I thought I had found my bride. And I had the bluest balls ever. 

Returning to my dorm all I could think about was her. I wanted to make love to her so bad. I thought we would live happily ever after making love every day. I had it all planned out.

On campus we were the hottest couple in the freshmen class. We took classes together, were hand-in-hand everywhere we went, and everyone thought we would be a married couple some day.

It took another month before we could get another car. This time we found ourselves parking late at night on a jr high school parking lot somewhere. Again it was hours of kissing before I finally got her clothes off. I kissed her and caressed her. Held her. Told her how much I loved her. Nibbled on her until she had one orgasm after another. I wanted to make love to her. 

She caressed my cock. Eyeballed it a long time. Had me promise we would be married someday. And finally she allowed me to make love to her. 

I leaned her on her back, spread her legs as much as I could with the front seat in the way (we were in the backseat), and began kissing. Whispering my love to her I slid down her neck and kissed her chest, taking time to massage and suck on each breast and nipple. Running my tongue down her stomach and into her forest of furr I was so sexually aroused I could hardly contain myself. My mouth reached her pussy and I began to nibble and run my tongue up and down her clit. I wanted to arouse her to orgasm just before making love to her. I did not want to hurt her. As she began to moan and her hips began to girate I lifted her hips up to slide my cock in.

At first it did not want to go. She was a virgin and she was very tight. After a few tries I got it in, she said it only hurt for a second, and then I began to gently slide in and out of her. We were in love and there was no going back. It felt perfect. I grabbed her ass with my hands and lifted her as I went. She moaned and I moaned. It only took a minute and I was ready to cum. I withdrew and shot my load all over her stomach, not wanting to get her pregnant. I did not use a condom with her ever. Afterward we just held each other and promised the world to each other.

For the next two years we made love whenever we could. We grew closer to each other. A few times I thought I had gotten her pregnant and it scared the life out of us. We always planned on getting married when we graduated. I never really contemplated life without her.

Somewhere between our sophomore and junior years we drifted apart during a summer absence. Upon returning to school she had a fling with a guy where she worked and I never got over it. It took me five times, but I finally broke up with her for good. I rebounded and married another woman my senior year in college. Though I never forgot Autumn.

Memory is a cruel thing. And as the years spinned, I never forgot Autumn or those times in college when she made me feel fully alive. I never forgot how close we were and how we could finish each other's thought. I missed my best friend. I would find myself thinking about her here and again. Sometimes late at night on the driveway of my house a tear would roll down my face as I thought of her and those college days long ago. What might have been? What happened to her? Where did we go wrong? 

Two children later and ten years of marriage, I created a website with pics of myself and events in my life. If I created a website, would she search for me by name and email me? It was my only hope. I wanted to at least hear from her again. I had no idea what had happened to this girl. Did she move back north after college? Who did she marry? Was she happy? Did she ever think of me like I thought of her? 

Five years after I posted the website, Autumn sent me an email:

...For many years I was angry with you for the way our relationship ended. I made many poor choices in response to my feelings after the break-up.It's taken me a good deal of time to be able to write this. I don't know if this will mean anything to you or not, but I have forgiven you and myself. I've done it for me, not for you, but if you receive comfort from it as well that's an extra blessing. My husband says that he for one is glad for the way it all turned out.If you still want me to, I'll certainly keep in touch in the future...

It shattered my world and sent me spiraling into a land of depression. Having moved from thinking of her once a week, I was right back to thinking about her 24/7. She and I had married someone else and it was not to be. I had made a different choice and now my life had a completely different direction. There was no going back and my mind could not reconcile it.

To make a long story short, within a few months we had decided to test the waters and meet each other again for the first time in a restaurant near her home. She lived a few hours from me.

She came in looking very different from how I had remembered her. And I am sure I was the same way. We had both added age and some weight to our figures, but talking to her I missed her. It seemed as though we picked up where we had left off. The years had moved on, but we were still hot for each other.

Moving to my truck in the parking lot, we climbed in the cab together. Time was short. So I just cried and told her I had missed her for all those years and wished I had married her instead. We held each other and I found her kissing me and I her. We began to kiss more and in that brief moment time stood still... And suddenly the time was gone. I was in shock to have just kissed her and going home I wanted her. A renewed passion, but forbidden.

It was off to instant messenger and hotmail every chance we got as we opened ourselves up to each other online while trying to keep our spouses in the dark. Where it might lead scared me to death. I found myself still in love with Autumn, but having feelings for a spouse of 15 years. I loved my kids and never wanted to be separated from them. It was too complicated.

We met again ever so briefly. Steaming up the windows in a parking lot in February. Longing for her. My hands caressing her breasts (now much larger than before thanks to her having two children) through her shirt and her hand caressing my cock through my pants. I wanted her, but she would not agree to sex unless we were both separated. Something I was not ready to do. I was pulled between two women, a job I would lose, and my children. All the things that happen in reality to mess with you. I had to make a choice and I did not want to make a choice. The woman I dreamed of for 17 years since our breakup or my wife and kids. It was too hard and I was torn. It created an emotional upheavel in me and left me on verge of a nervous breakdown.

After six weeks of flirting online and meeting for a few brief kissing and caressing sessions, I finally decided I had better stay with my family. I called Autumn and told her we had to stop, but I would like to see her one last time. 

I met her in a park and we held each other, cried, kissed, cried, and tried to let the reality of both of us giving each other up in the midst of our short lives sink in. It seemed we had not seen each other in 17 years and now we were giving up contact for life. It was very hard and I finally suggested that we go make love one time since we would not ever see each other again. Not the smartest thing I could do for myself or her emotionally, but we wanted each other.

We went to a hotel and rode the elevator up. I grinned at her and she at me. She looked more gorgeous to me than ever in her jeans and blouse. Sure she was a little heavier and so was I. But she had the curves of the woman she was. Curves she lacked when we were still kids in college. Her hips knocked me out. And, most of all, I was in love and felt at peace making myself vulnerable to this woman I loved. I could not wait to make love to her. With so many years gone, it seemed as if it were the first time for both of us. Almost like being virgins again. 

Closing the hotel door behind us we embraced and kissed passionately. I wasted no time groping her breasts and my hands squeezing her ass. My hands quickly disappeared under her shirt and beneath her bra to release them and cup them with passion. Her hands began to caress my cock through my jeans. It was rock hard. She rapidly reached for my zipper. Down the pants went as her hands slid into my shorts. She missed me as much as I missed her. Her shirt and bra had to go. 

With my pants gone, my mouth went down her chest sucking on her breasts, but quickly I moved to her jeans which I rapidly unzipped and pulled down. Her muff was before my eyes. My mouth encompassed her V as my tongue went between her legs on the outside of her Calvin Klein cotton panties. The panties flew as I pulled them down and laid her on her back across the bed. 

She spread her legs as I buried my face between her legs. Her clit was swollen and much bigger than I remembered it. Her pussy was much more gorgeous than my memory. I wanted to taste her. To feel her. To be in her. I nibbled and sucked. I darted my tongue in her and pulled every technique I knew to give her the most sensual feelings possible. Eating her out was pure pleasure for me. I was in love and this was going to be a one time thing for the last time. I spent ten minutes loving her this way while she had one violent orgasm after another. 

Spreading her legs, I placed my body between her legs and kissed her mouth. I asked if she was sure. In answer, she took my rock hard cock and directed it into her pussy. With a gentle pusy it slid right in with a perfect feeling. All of my dreams had come true. Though the years had separated us, it felt better now than ever in my mind. I made love to her for thirty minutes. Me on top, her on top, on our sides. Sitting up leaning against the bed frame. All over the place. With passion, intense hugs, ecstacy, and love. 

She was 35 and I was 36. But our passion had no limit. I watched her boobs bounce to our rhythm. Her ass going up and down as her pussy made love to me. There was no condom in the way. She had had her tubes tied and there was no way I wanted anything between us. I watched her beautiful pussy envelope my cock again and again. In and out. Her long hair going wild. Why did I not marry her. Sex was never like this with my wife. 

I rolled her over and we even did it doggy style for a while. She had the perfect ass and I loved reaching around and grasping her boobs. Her back was perfect and her hair rode it well. It felt great on my cock, but I wanted to see her beautiful face.

Rolling her over, I breathed in her beauty and savored the moment knowing it was brief and would soon be gone. Trying to compact a lifetime of loving her into a hour of making love was impossible, but I we were trying. When finally I came, and we held each other briefly, it was time to say our goodbyes. I drove my car near hers as far as we both could go, before turning in separate directions. It was goodbye.
