
CELESTIAL FAQ 2.10  - September 1, 1998
Frequently Asked Questions about Celestial Reviews by Celeste.

(Changes since FAQ 2.9. Additions and adjustments to site list in 16 and to
author lists in 17.  Note that the site list in 16 probably still has
inaccuracies.  If you call these to my attention, I'll try to fix them. Minor
cleanup elsewhere.  My appreciation to Bitbard, who was especially helpful in
culling out web sites that have stopped functioning.  Number 21 is brand new.
Minor changes have been made elsewhere.)

Table of Contents:

The following topics are addressed in the FAQ:

1.  Who are you?
2.  What makes you competent to write these reviews?
3.  Why are you doing this?
4.  What is your unique perspective?
5.  How do you select stories to review?
6.  Are there any kinds of stories you prefer not to review?
7.  What is your rating system?
8.  Where can I find back issues of reviews?
9.  Do you care about the feelings of the people you pan?
10.  Will you give a low ratings to a well written story that just doesn't
suit your tastes?
11.  You're an English teacher.  What role does grammar play in your ratings?
12.  How much do you get paid for writing these reviews?
13.  Will you accept criticism?
14.  Do you have advice for writers who want to improve?
15.  The stories are often no longer available by the time you post your
reviews.  Could you send me a copy of some of the stories that sound
interesting?
16.  What are some specific FTP locations or Web Sites at which I can find
these stories?
17.  What are the names of some of the best authors on a.s.s.?
18.  Is it OK for archivists or BBS operators to repost your reviews?
19.  Can authors repost your reviews when they repost their stories?
20.  Why are you posting this on a.s.s instead of a.s.s.d.?
21.  What do you consider to be your greatest contribution to this newsgroup?

Here are the answers to these questions:

1.  Who are you?

I am a female reader and writer of erotic short stories. The only story that I
have posted recently is "Virtuous Reality."  As part of a review of "Call of
Desire" in CR 250, I have also posted a lengthy "analysis" that many readers
considered to be a story.  Under a different pseudonym, I have also published
a novel that has been moderately successful in the popular press.  Although it
is a romance novel, it is not a.s.s. material.  To avoid stereotyping, I'll
state my age broadly  - I am between 40 and 50 years old.  I am an English
teacher at a public high school, and that's the main reason I use pseudonyms
in my writing.  (The pillars of the community would have my ass if they knew I
fantasized about something besides "The Great Gatsby.")  I am also active in
my children's PTA and in my church.  I don't feel that my enjoyment of erotica
contradicts these roles; but I don't want the issue to detract from my
effectiveness in these other roles.

2.  What makes you competent to write these reviews?

There are lots of people who read a.s.s who would be competent to write good
reviews.  My main qualification is that I am willing to do so.  I also think I
offer a unique perspective.  Many readers who write to me say that I "add
class to a.s.s."  That flatters me.  Many readers also suggest that I seem to
be typical of the "literate" a.s.s. reader (as if there were non-literate
readers of this newsgroup!).  Others state that I seem to lack a clear
understanding of pedophile and D&s writing.  These critics are probably right,
although many of them say that I am at least honest and am "improving."  The
main reason I review stories in these categories is because the authors ask me
to do so.  The authors themselves usually appear grateful to get my reviews.
My advice is for you to know where I am coming from, and to evaluate my
reviews accordingly. Almost everyone agrees that even if my reviews "really
suck," at least they tell what the stories are about; and that's helpful in
selecting stories to read.

3.  Why are you doing this?

I read a.s.s for a long time before I decided to write reviews.  Then I found
a set of reviews by someone who used the name Coyote Wyoming.  I was just
plain grateful.  Without reviews I could select stories only by brief titles,
the accompanying "alphabet soup," and sometimes by recognizing the names of
the authors.  And so I thought maybe somebody else would be equally grateful
if I wrote some reviews of my own.  Coyote Wyoming has long since retired from
writing reviews, but I have persisted.  I think my main motivation is that I
have a blind faith that people who express themselves well and accurately are
more worth listening to than those who do not do so.  Besides, I think the
public feedback inherent in these reviews gives good writers a reason to take
pride in their work.  They need a perk now and then.

4.  What is your unique perspective?

As I said in Question 1, I am a middle-aged female.  I am also a mother, and
one of my daughters is a teenager.  I don't want my kids reading trash; but I
want to be free to read whatever I want myself; and I want them to grow up
with a respect for love and sex.  I have been madly in love with a wonderful
man for a long time, and I plan to be even more madly in love with this man
(my husband) until we grow old together.  I believe in sexual happiness and
sexual fantasy; but I also believe in sexual ethics.  I subscribe to many of
the beliefs of Alex Comfort and Shere Hite.  (In fact, I gave my daughter a
book by Comfort and his wife entitled "The Facts of Loving" when she first
showed an interest in sex on television.)  I have friends who are gay and
lesbian, other friends who engage in a lot of recreational sex just for the
fun of it,  and other friends who cheat on their lovers.  I like them, and I
enjoy their stories; but I have never made love to anyone except my husband;
and I don't plan to do so.  Nevertheless, both he and I enjoy sexual
fantasies, which we share with each other.  We don't keep careful statistics,
but I think we "do it" about five times a week.  (I just recently learned that
there's a scientific study that says that this should be good for my skin
complexion.) I think the world (and a.s.s.) is full of people like us.  I
don't condemn people who have different beliefs (unless these beliefs become
harmful or destructive).  My husband enjoys my writing, and I enjoy reading
erotic stories and occasionally watching erotic movies with him.  We
distinguish between reality and fantasy.  I guess my overall perspective is
that it's possible to have a lot of fun with sex and still be ethical and
responsible about it.

5.  How do you select stories to review?

I just take stories off a.s.s when they catch my attention.  (One way to catch
my attention is to use the <*> symbol (an asterisk between less than and
greater than signs) somewhere in your title line.  Also, if you e-mail me a
copy of your story just before or as soon as you post it, that helps a lot.  I
try to review stories rapidly enough so that readers can pull the stories off
a.s.s. if my reviews make any of them sound interesting.  I can read only a
limited number of stories a week; and once a story has been posted for more
than a week, I tend to let it slide, figuring that most readers will no longer
be able to find it on their postings.  I am also discovering that there is a
huge variation in the amount of time it takes to get a story posted in a local
service and in how long they stay posted.  That's something I cannot control.

Occasionally someone asks me to review a specific story that has "just been
posted."  Here's my problem.  I check a.s.s. DAILY and look for stories I
might like to review.  I download these each day, and then have my service
mark them as "read."  That means I won't see them again, unless I go to a lot
of trouble.  If the stories that are requested appeared before I last checked,
I might have missed them, because I wasn't looking for them - at least they
didn't catch my attention.  Then I had my service mark all those stories as
"read," and so I won't see them again, unless I make a specific attempt to
look for them, which seems to be an unfair request to make of me.  If the
stories appeared after my last check., I'll be able to pick them up the next
day.

If *I* were the person making the request, I would not expect the reviewer to
make unusual sacrifices to review a story for me.  I would just send the
reviewer a copy of the story.  If the reviewer already has a copy or doesn't
want to review it, she/he can just trash it.  If you are the author of the
stories or if you have a copy of them on disk or on your hard drive, you could
help me a lot by just sending them to me by e-mail.  I would appreciate that a
lot.

6.  Are there any kinds of stories you prefer not to review?

Obviously there is a limit on how much time I have to work on these reviews,
and so I try to read stories that I'll enjoy.  Therefore, I usually ignore
stories that look utterly illiterate.  I also tend to skip stories that I
think will be full of absolutely mindless violence, because they just aren't
fun for me.  I also am inclined to skip pedophile stories, because I think
children should be allowed to grow up without adult exploitation.  I know
people who were molested as children, and I don't think what happened to them
was funny.  It ruined their lives, and I have a hard time separating reality
from fantasy when I read such stories. I probably miss some good stories
because of my biases.  Among non-sex stories, my biases would rule out "The
Tell-Tale Heart," which I consider to be the best short story ever written.
My compromise is to read these stories only when I have good reason to do so -
for example, when they are written by an author I already know to be good or
when an author sends me a copy of a story and asks me to review it.

A major exception to the bias expressed in the previous paragraph can be found
in parodies.  I have no trouble reading about the kids on Home Improvement
humping their mom or Eddie Haskell doing it with the Beaver's mother.

I also tend to skip magic and sorcery stories, because I simply have never
gotten into that sort of fantasy world; I would probably be an ignorant
reviewer.  For similar reasons I tend to skip stories that are based on TV
series or novels with which I am unfamiliar.  For example, I don't know what
or who Sailor Moon is and I have never watched an entire episode of 90210 or
Lazarus Man. I tend to read stories on such topics only when I have good
reason to do so.  So if you want me to review a story that you think I might
consider offbeat, your best bet is to send me a copy of a story and ask me to
review it.  An interesting by-product of writing these reviews is that I have
broadened my cultural perspective.  For example, I have started to enjoy
Quantum Leap, and I even joined a conversation on the crew of the Starship
Enterprise recently.  I'll probably be embarrassed in Real Life someday,
because my knowledge of the Enterprise is based almost completely on sexual
parodies.

I probably miss some good stories because of my biases, and I appreciate it
when authors send me good stories that help me expand my horizons.  For
example, when I started reviewing I would never have expected to enjoy
transgender or watersport stories; but I have read several in each category
that have changed my viewpoint (if not my sex life).  In fact, I have to admit
that I have even begun to enjoy a good bdsm story now and then.

I urge authors to realize that there are lots of readers like me.  If you want
to write for a wide audience, therefore, you should consider making your
stories interesting _even to readers who are not initially attracted to your
ideas_.  For example, don't assume that all readers will automatically think
violence or pissing on your lover is wonderful - build a rationale for unusual
behavior into the story.

7.  What is your rating system?

For the first 64 issues of Celestial Reviews I used a simple 10=outstanding to
1=awful rating system.  I found I was giving too many 10's and looked for a
way to improve the system.  The solution I chose was to give each story THREE
ratings, each ranging from 1 to 10; and since these are Celestial Reviews, I
named each rating after a goddess.

Athena.  Since Athena was the Greek Goddess of Wisdom, the Athena rating
describes the technical quality of the story.  This rating covers such matters
as grammar, spelling, formatting, and creative use of the language.  A story
with essentially no serious grammar, spelling, or usage problems receives a
rating of 8.  To get a rating of 9 or 10, the author has to do something
creative with the language.  Don't let that worry you; I consider my own
writing to be worthy of a 10 in this category!

Venus.  Since Venus was the Roman Goddess of Love and Storytelling, this
rating describes such matters as plot and character development.  I tried to
focus mostly on this aspect in the past, but the ratings were contaminated by
the Athena influence.  (For you students out there - until just now, Venus was
not the Goddess of Storytelling.  Do not use this answer on any tests in
school.)  Since this is a newsgroup for sex stories, hot sex that makes sense
could contribute to a high rating here.

Celeste.  Since I am the self-proclaimed Goddess of Alt.sex.stories, the
Celeste rating describes how much I myself liked the story.  I have described
my personal interests and preferences elsewhere in this FAQ.  I am not
demanding that authors try to please me, but I know that a lot of readers have
interests that are similar to my own.  Authors who receive high ratings in
other categories and a low Celeste rating can console themselves with the
knowledge that I would give Henry James, James Joyce, and John Milton low
ratings for almost all their writings. Stories leading directly or indirectly
to an orgasm in which I participate in my real life are likely to receive very
high ratings; but so are stories that make me laugh or intrigue me with their
clever plot.  I also enjoy stories that suggest that people with what I'll
call conventional value systems can still have a rich sex and fantasy life.

Ratings look like this:  

      Athena (technical quality): 8
      Venus (plot & character): 10
      Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8 

This set of ratings describes a story that made few or no grammar mistakes,
had a plot that was extremely well-developed, and appealed fairly strongly to
me.  On the summary line, I simply list these as three separate ratings:
{"Name of Story" by Author (topic) 8, 10, 8}

One concern is that this use of the names of goddesses might appear to involve
an affiliation with a specific religion.  This is nonsense.  I am not really a
goddess.  I also have my doubts about the authenticity of Venus and Athena.

I also "employ" a large number of guest reviewers.  There are simply too many
stories out there for me to review them all.  I think my guest reviewers do an
excellent job, but their ratings often show little relationship to mine or to
each other's.  

8.  Where can I find back issues of reviews?

One of the best places to look is in the DejaNews server.  This free service
is found at  http//:www.dejanews.com.  To find all my reviews, enter the
search words "alt.sex.stories celeste".  This will get you all my reviews in
their current database - plus any other a.s.s entries that contain the word
"celeste".  To get oldere reviews, change the parameters to use the "older"
database.

In addition, when a story that I have reviewed has recently been reposted,
I'll try to repost the review, if I notice it.  If you repost a story, please
contact me, so that I'll know to repost the review.  Readers appreciate this
service.  Even if you or they thoroughly disagree with my review, this
practice is likely to be helpful to everyone.  

I am aware that people are archiving my reviews and may be willing to make
these archives available to the general public.  The two most workable sources
that I know of are:


The a.s.s.m. archive at http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/reviews.html

The ASSTR ftp site at ftp://asstr.ml.org/pub/Collections/Celestial_Reviews/

IMPORTANT: If you modify a story before you repost it - which may be a good
idea - please tell me.  I do not have time to re-download stories that I think
are identical to the ones I have already reviewed.  If I know no different,
I'll probably just repost the old review.

9.  Do you care about the feelings of the people you pan?

Yes.  I hope they take the criticism positively and constructively.  My e-mail
tells me that this is overwhelmingly the case.

10.  Will you give a low ratings to a well written story that just doesn't
suit your tastes?

I try to be objective.  However, I do not feel that it is sensible to evaluate
a story entirely on style or how well it fits a genre.  For example, if
Jeffrey Dahmers (the mass murderer) published a grammatically correct,
detailed description of how he seduced young men, drilled holes in their
heads, and had sex with them before he killed and ate them, I think I would
consider the content and social implications as well as the style in giving
this a rating.  I don't consider this to be a simple "lifestyle" choice.  If
he claimed that the young men enjoyed having this happen to them, I would
point out in my review that I thought this was a really stupid assertion.
Likewise, as a woman I find that I am sometimes turned off by some of the bdsm
that insinuates that women enjoy being degraded.  This influences my reviews,
but I try to be fair about it by stating that this bias affects me (when I am
aware of it); and so readers can decide for themselves how they should let my
insights influence their decision regarding whether to read a story.  Genuine
lifestyle differences (e.g., mm and TG stories) don't seem to bother me -
although I admit that I might miss something in them.  But that's the purpose
of this FAQ; if you know where I am coming from, you can evaluate my comments
more accurately.  I don't LOOK for stories that don't appeal to my interests
(because I am busy and have many stories to read that I actively enjoy), but I
think I review them fairly when someone calls them to my attention.

11.  You're an English teacher.  What role does grammar play in your ratings?

I tend to be paranoid about giving an erotic story a low rating just because
it has bad grammar.  But if the grammar or style gets in the way of
understanding the story, that's bound to lower the rating.  (One of my readers
hit the nail on the head when he/she said, "When stories have good grammar, I
can predict what's going to happen next.  I do this unconsciously.  Then I
confirm my predictions as I read.  When the story has bad grammar, I cannot do
this; and that interferes with my reading.")  My advice to authors is to HAVE
SOMEONE ELSE PROOFREAD THE STORY.  Or at least read it over carefully yourself
before you post it.  Since you'll almost certainly be using a word processor,
you'll find that it's easy (and actually fun) to make corrections.  If you're
using a primitive text processor that comes with your e-mail program, consider
writing the story first on the word processor and then pasting it into your
mailer.  That's what I do.  Most readers (not just English teachers) will
ignore occasional errors, but they are usually offended by writers who show so
little respect for them by not proofreading their work.

Note that I am currently trying to coordinate a proofreading service for
authors.  If you are an author and would like to have someone proofread and
respond to your work before your post it, please contact me, and I'll try to
match you up with a proofreader.  Likewise, if you are willing to help an
author develop his/her writing, please contact me, and I'll put you on my list
of potential reviewers.  Reacting to the prepublication work of an author can
be a very enjoyable activity.

12.  How much do you get paid for writing these reviews?

Right!  My "pay" for writing these reviews consists of four elements.  First I
get to read some good stories and enjoy some good fantasies.  Second, I get
the feeling that maybe I am helping writers improve their stories (and maybe
even the rest of their lives).  Third, sometimes readers or authors send me e-
mail with their comments; and I enjoy intelligent interactions.  Fourth, I
find writing these reviews to be a growth experience.  The activity of writing
the reviews and interacting with readers and writers causes me to think things
over and come to insights that would otherwise not have occurred to me.  If
this encourages any of you to write to me or to the authors of the stories, I
am willing to split this "pay" with you.  Seriously, the authors of the
stories often enjoy knowing that someone cares enough to drop them a line,
telling them what you liked or disliked about a story.  If you do this, be as
specific and constructive as possible.

13.  Will you yourself accept criticism?

Sure.  But try to be constructive and polite.  Please do not bother me with
passionate suggestions regarding sexual activities in which we might engage
together (or impossible activities that you may recommend for me to perform by
myself). I am really not interested.  If you have a good fantasy about what
you would like to do to me sexually, write a story about it and post it.

14.  Do you have advice for writers who want to improve?

I give this advice to budding writers of erotica who feel they are being
neglected by their public: 

(a)  Have an angle (topic, point of view, or whatever you want to call it) and
introduce it early.  Give the readers a reason to want to read the story.  

(b) Don't waste your time with irrelevant details.  

(c) Use an effective writing style.  It is sometimes effective to write in a
deliberately illiterate style in order to achieve an effect; but even people
who say they don't care about grammar become turned off when writing becomes
just plain confusing.  

(d)  Make the sex scenes achieve the effect you want.  For example, not all
erotic stories are supposed to be "hot"; but if yours is supposed to be
arousing, you yourself should become at least moderately aroused when you
reread the story.  Try to look at the story from the point of view of your
readers.  If you expect to turn on respectable but sexy high school English
teachers, try to imagine someone of that description reading your story and
imagine how she will feel while she is reading your words.

(e)  Follow rules for good grammar, such as those posted in my Celestial
Grammar and Advanced Celestial Grammar.

15.  The stories are often no longer available by the time you post your
reviews.  Could you send me a copy of some of the stories that sound
interesting?

This is really impractical.  I cannot and will not do it.  I don't even bother
to reply to people who ask me to send them stories. There's a limit to my
public service.

On the other hand, with the help of Bitbard and a few others, I now try to
post Links to sites where the stories can be found. In addition, post the
author's e-mail address with the review.  I don't see this as breaking
confidentiality, since I am getting the address out of the publicly posted
story anyway.  The best way to get the story is from the postings, and the
next best way is from a web site.  (If a thousand people read a story and all
thousand of them request it directly from the author, this would be an
unreasonable burden.) 

Finally, it may be a good idea to look for stories written by authors you have
learned to respect.  In Question 17 I list numerous authors whose stories I
myselflook for.

16.  What are some specific Web Sites or FTP locations at which I can find
these stories?

First, let me point out that Ole Joe's "Alt.sex.stories - A Subculture," which
has more recently been referred to as a "Metaguide" contains an extremely
comprehensive listing of authors, their stories, and some important sites.
You can find this resource at
http://www.fortunecity.com/victorian/austen/104/ass_fr.htm.

Here are some additional names and addresses of some people who archive their
own or others' stories:

{Note that this site list probably contains inaccuracies.  I apologize for
these.  If you call these to my attention, I'll try to fix them in FAQ 2.11.}

Bear/Kim/DG/Mike Hunt - http://www.io.com/~thebear/bearden.htm

BitBard (The artist formerly known as Sandman)
(http://extra.newsguy.com/~bitbard)

Bronwen - http://members.tripod.com/~Bronwen_98/welcome.htm

David L. (http://www.sysun.com/dhl)

Deidre Ng (http://www.geocities.com/Paris/LeftBank/6979)  Her new address is
deidreng@geocities.com.

Elf Sternberg (http://www.halcyon.com/elf/index.html)

Estragon (ftp://unix.tpe.com/pub/estragon)
and (http://www.tpe.com/~mule)

Hawk Richards Storyboard
http://members.aol.com/hawkrds/index.html

LeAnna's old site is down.  I'll give you the new site as soon as I find it.

Mark Aster (http://users.aol.com/myfrthal)

Mary Anne Mohanraj (http://www.iam.com/maryanne) 

Mat Twassel: http://members.aol.com/Mmtwassel/index.html

Morgan Preece: http://members.tripod.com/~a_nonie_mouse/index.html

Old Joe - http://www.fortunecity.com/victorian/austen/104/ass_fr.htm

Poson Ivan - http://members.tripod.com/~poisoniv1/

Tooshoes (http://www.cris.com/~tooshoes/PenPartners.html)

Brother Cadfael (http://www.ipns.com/seumasfroemke/cadfael/index.html)

Simon bar Sinister has a Mind-Control Story Archive at 
http://www.mcstories.com/

Superheroine erotica stories can be found at
http://www.indra.net/~sharonb/aurora.htm

Sven the Elder - ftp://asstr.ml.org/pub/Authors/sven/Main_Index.html

Some hot femdom stories can be found at
http://www.akashaweb.com/

Thomas M. Carvett - http://home.earthlink.net/~tcarvett/

Vickie Tern's stories can be downloaded for free at
http://library.gaycafe.com/nifty/transgender/by_authors/Vickie_Tern
I assume other TG authors could be located at the same site by
dropping Vickie's name and using the index.

Anon747 has a site with some stories and a lot of cross-references at
http://annejet.pair.com/

The Bear has an index of my reviews with cross-references to stories
at http://www.io.com/~thebear.

Lord Malinov archives his stories at
http://www.gslink.com/~dcain/xanadu/erotica

Uther Pendragon's stories are archived at
http://www.fortunecity.com/victorian/austen/104/index.htm

Alt.Sex.Stories Text Repository archives all of my Celestial Reviews
plus many, many stories in an organized manner at
http://www.asstr.ml.org.  Or if you prefer at
ftp://asstr.ml.org/pub/Collections/Celestial_Reviews/.

Eli (who moderates alt.sex.stories.moderated) has an extensive archive
at ftp://asstr.ml.org/pub/Collections/Celestial_Reviews/.  That
address takes you to my Reviews, but he has many other sets of stories
at this site.

If any of these are no longer current or if there are others I should add,
please contact me.  I am interested only in free, non-commercial sites.
However, I'll also plug the following organization; although they charge for
membership, they GIVE stories away to non-members.  (I suppose they hope
you'll eventually join.)

The BackDrop Club  offers a service of helping people who are looking for a
specific file, story, or a chapter or section of a story. If you are an adult
and know the name of the file you wish to receive, send a request using the
following format:

TO:       file.archives@backdrop.com
SUBJECT:  (the name of the file you wish as a single word)

I HAVE used this service myself, and it is my opinion that it is NOT a rip-
off.  If you need more information, contact robin@backdrop.com.  The BackDrop
Club also has a Web Page at http://www.fantasies.com.

Finally, Deja News (www.dejanews.com) is a search engine available on the
World Wide Web.  It is possible (without additional cost beyond your service
that accesses the Web) to find most of the stories I review by entering a few
key words into the search box.  To expedite matters, I suggest using
"alt.sex.stories" as part of your search strategy.  You'll get a short list of
"hits," one of which will include the story you are looking for.  You then
click on the story's brief title, and the whole text pops up on your screen,
where you can save it to disk - even if your service does not give you access
to the a.s.s. newsgroup.  A similar free service is offered at
http://www.reference.com.

17.  What are the names of some of the best authors on a.s.s.?

First, let me point out that Ole Joe's "Alt.sex.stories - A Subculture," which
was last updated in July 1998, contains an extremely comprehensive listing of
authors and their stories.  Ole Joe can be contacted at OleJoe@poboxes.com.
His Metaguide can be found at
http://www.fortunecity.com/victorian/austen/104/ass_fr.htm.

I realize I am going to hurt someone's feelings by leaving him/her off this
list, and I'm sorry about that.  By putting a name on this list, I am stating
that I think readers can safely select almost any story by that author and
find a literate treatment of a topic related to sex.  Here's the list
(arranged alphabetically):

      A. Van Peebles
      Alan Mathews
      Ann Douglas
      Anne Arbor
      Anon 747 (Anne 747)
      Backrub
      Bazarov
      BEAR
      The Bear (also referred to as the New Bear and Baird Allen)
      Bernadette
      BillyG (William Hayden)
      Bitbard (formerly Sandman)
      Bluelady
      Bronwen
      Celeste (C'est moi!) 
      Cobalt Jade
      Crimson Dragon
      D.A. Ignatius (DarkNites)
      Dafney Dewitt
      Damya
      deirdre (Sherwood Anderson)
      Delta
      DG
      Dirty Dawg (Dawson Rambo)
      DJ (the artist formerly known as DJ810)
      Dorvis Slaughter
      Dr. Watson
      Dulcinea
      Ed Stauff
      El Sol
      Elf Sternberg
      Eli the Bearded
      Emerson Laken-Palmer
      Erostos
      Estragon
      fcp
      Friar Dave
      G Smith
      Gina Marie
      Green Onions
      H.D. Meister
      Hawkeye
      Jackie
      Janey (Jane Urquhart)
      Javahead
      Jim Fix
      Joe Parsons
      John Thomas
      Jonathan Dzoba
      Jordan Shelbourne
      Kim
      kollontai
      LeAnna
      Linda B.
      Lori Grenci
      Losgud
      Lord Malinov
      Lysander
      Mark Aster (Allen Sisters Stories)
      Mark Bastable
      Mary Ann Mohanraj
      Mary Jorsay Gandmar
      Mat Twassel
      Mercury
      Michael Dagley
      Michael K. Smith
      Michelle Lurker
      Mike Hunt
      Morgan Preece
      Ng Sisters  (Deidre & Tammy) 
      Nick
      Observer
      OddManOut Anywhere
      Oscar Paco
      Paddy Toute
      Parker
      Patrick Donovan
      Peter V. Principle
      Phil Phantom
      Plainman
      PleaseCain
      Poison Ivan
      Pulp Fan
      R.C.
      Rajah Dodger
      Ramapo
      Renae Nicks
      Rhett Dreams
      Rocket88
      Rondu
      S. Leigh Farmer
      SandMan (currently Bitbard)
      Santo J. Romeo (Author of Martha Jane)
      Sarlim
      Saucy Wench
      Seurat
      Shelby Bush
      Simon bar Sinister
      smoot2
      Spook
      Stephanie
      SueNH (also WithSue)
      Summer's Rose
      Sven the Elder
      Taria
      TEX
      Thomas M. Carvett (TMC)
      Tom Bombadil
      Tom in Sacramento
      Tom Trinity
      Tooshoes
      Uncle Mike
      Uther Pendragon
      Vickie Morgan
      Vickie Tern
      Walter Slaven
      Watcher
      Wollstonecraft
      
Arranging these authors alphabetically was itself an interesting experience.
It had never occurred to me that listing authors alphabetically BY FIRST NAME
would make sense; but when almost all authors are using pseudonyms, that
seemed to be the best approach!

Here's a second list.  These are authors with whom I am not as familiar as I
am with those on the first list. By putting a name on this list, I am stating
that I think readers can _probably_ select a story by that author and find a
good story.  Undoubtedly some of these authors write stories that are even
better than those by authors on the first list; maybe they'll move up to the
other list the next time I do this.

      Alan C. McD
      Anglokitty
      Artie
      Bill Green
      Bobbi Sue
      Brother Cadfael
      Caesar
      Calloway
      Daniel Shechori
      Darkside
      Darryman
      Dave Schulte
      David L
      David Shaw
      Deb Atwood
      Dimitri
      EazinAlong
      EzRiter
      empath
      Eric Shon
      Frank McCoy
      Gordie D
      Gregarious
      Grimbo
      Hangten
      Hawk Richards
      Horangi
      Horny Toad
      I Robert
      J Boswell
      J.M.
      James Dawson
      Jan Williams
      Jefferson James
      Jon Hallmark
      Jonboy
      Kid Dynamite
      Kona
      LM1
      Lostgirl
      mandible
      MD James
      Morpheus' Twin
      MrSpraycan
      Niles Naismith
      Nom de Plume
      Of 2 minds
      Ovid
      Pan
      Paris Waterman
      P.D. Michael
      PJ
      Rainman
      Richard Baudouin
      Rock Hancock
      Roger P. Tipe
      Rojack
      Sarah Fox Jahn
      Sandmann
      SexySailor
      Sfmaster
      Sista Shakespeare
      Solo Polyphony
      Spoonbender
      Steve3925
      Steve Black
      TropicCool
      TruthHurts
      Walter Fortner
      Warthog
      Wolfgang Amadeus
      Zhong
      
I am absolutely certain that I will offend someone by my posting of these
lists.  Please try to get over it.  If your name or the name of a favorite
author is not on this list, assume that I made a mistake.  If you send me
suggestions, I probably will not apologize; but I may add suggested names to
future lists.

In addition, names on a.s.s. are an inexact science.  I suspect I have listed
a few people twice - under different aliases.  In addition, there are no doubt
writers other than the ones to whom I intended to refer who post with names
very similar to those on my lists.  For example, there is another author named
Celeste, who I understand is almost my equal in the sack, but doesn't write as
well as I do - or is it vice versa?

It would be helpful to readers if the authors would put their names in the
title line of the posting.  A minor adjustment like that may make it possible
for readers to find your stories.

18.  Is it OK for archivists or BBS operators to repost your reviews?

This is fine with me, as long as you give me proper credit and as long as you
make it clear that my reviews are not an integral part of whatever else you
are doing - and as long as you don't break any laws by doing so.  In other
words, if you run a BBS where you post lots of these stories, it's OK with me
if you post my reviews as a service to your readers; but just be clear that I
personally am not a writer for your BBS.  An example of an improper use would
be posting these reviews in a school newspaper that is clearly designed for
underage readers. I do not have time to send these reviews individually to
several hundred persons.  I'll also occasionally post an update from my
database that will state the titles of all the reviews, the rating each
received, and in which issue the review can be found.  I call these updates
Celestial Summaries.  If persons who post the reviews on their BBS, FTP site,
or homepage will give me appropriate information, I'll be happy to cooperate
as much as I can; and I'll disseminate this information, if you want me to do
so.

19.  Can authors repost your reviews when they repost their stories?

If authors or reposters wish to do so, they have my permission to post my
reviews at the same time they repost their stories.  This could be a useful
service to readers.  They can do this by pasting my review of their story
(leaving out the rest of the stories in the same review) into a separate
message, and adding this brief tag:  "This review is taken from Celestial
Reviews by Celeste (Celeste801@aol.com).  The review was written independently
of consultation with the author and does not imply collaboration."  At the end
of my review, you can add your own comments - which might include rebuttals of
my criticism or statements about how the story has changed in response to the
review.  The review's title should follow this format [REVIEW: Name of Story].
BBS managers, of course, can follow this same practice.

If you prefer, you can simply repost the numerical ratings (e.g., Celestial
Ratings: 10, 9, 9).

20.  Why are you posting this on a.s.s and a.s.s.m. instead of a.s.s.d.?

Not many people read a.s.s.d.  I do crosspost to a.s.s.d.  If people in
general followed the rule of posting only STORIES on a.s.s. and discussions on
a.s.s.d., then I'd follow that rubric.  As it is, my reviews will be more in
the spirit of a.s.s. than a lot of the things (like the "me too" and
"wannafuck" postings) that appear there. After all, only about 20% of the
a.s.s. messages are actually stories.

21.  What do you consider to be your greatest contribution to this newsgroup?

I consider my single greatest contribution to be my formulation of the Blowjob
Principle. Simply stated, if a person expects to get a second blowjob, the
recipient should make the giver glad to have performed the first.  Applied to
these stories, if you like a story, take the trouble to say so to the author.

If you don't apply the Blowjob Principle, it's your own damned fault if the
good writers stop posting stories.  Some writers on this newsgroup are
incoherent and don't intend to improve.  If they give up and go away, that's
fine with me.  But there are good writers who have already abandoned this
newsgroup and others who will do so, because there's nothing in it for them.

I'm not suggesting that you kiss up to the authors.  But if you enjoy a story
that you obtained for free, why not take two minutes to give the author some
feedback?  I don't think most authors want idle flattery; but they write
stories with the hope that they are getting a reaction - for example, they may
want to make people happy.  They'll never know they have succeeded unless
somebody tells them so.

Incidentally, the Blowjob Principle works in real life too.  In fact, it
worked with my principal.  He spent considerable time and effort doing
something to make life easier for us teachers, and I gave him a metaphorical
blowjob ­ that is, I told him how much I appreciated it.  He has continued to
do things of this sort.

I'd like to see the Blowjob Principle catch on all over the world.  I think it
would be great to hear a woman say to a man as they leave church, "Remember
the Blowjob Principle!  Let's tell the pastor we liked today's sermon."

<end>
