The Outsider
Copyright 2009 by EC
EC's Erotic Art & Fiction - http://www.ecgraphicarts.com/
EC's deviantART collection - http://caligula20171.deviantart.com/ 

(warnings: language, adult themes, public nudity, sex between adults)

Chapter 25 – Ruthie’s birthday wish

That night, after her classes were finished and she had eaten dinner with Mike, 
Ruthie accompanied him to his room and allowed him to make love to her.  She 
surprised him by getting on her elbows and knees, spreading her legs and lewdly 
exposing herself.  Before he entered her, he took a couple of pictures.  She closed 
her eyes and fantasized about being spanked and photographed during one of her 
art class modeling sessions…yes…getting with the belt right in front of all those 
students who drew her every day.  She actually did respond to Mike…a 
little…which was not common for her at all.

Once he was asleep, Ruthie took out two picture cards that fit into her mother’s 
digital camera and placed them next to her computer.  One of the cards had been 
filled to capacity for a couple of years and was kept locked up in a jewelry box 
with Ruthie’s passport, ID cards, and her one credit card.  The second card was 
still in the camera, but it was almost full.  She inserted the older card and started 
going through the images she had taken of herself during the first three years she 
had been in high school.  The oldest pictures on the card were ones of her with her 
cousins and a few of her that her mother had taken the year after she had moved 
to Salinas.  But then, starting from the middle of her freshman year; began a vast 
collection of pictures she had taken of herself.  All of the images on the card from 
that point forward were nude self-portraits.

Ruthie already had been running around her apartment in the nude for nearly a 
year and was used to staring at herself in the mirror when she started to take 
pictures of herself.  A few days before she started, she had seen Rosa using a 
delayed focus to take a group shot with some friends.  The camera in Ruthie’s 
apartment also had a delayed focus and, remembering how Rosa used the function 
to include herself in a group shot; Ruthie wondered if she could use the delayed 
focus to take a self-portrait.  For several weeks she had been curious to see what 
she would look like photographed in the nude.  During her daily morning “me 
time” she experimented with the focus and finally learned how to time her 
movement so she could set the camera and move in front of it before the flash 
went off.  The first several pictures came out blurry, but then she got a very clear 
one of herself sitting on her bed.  For a long time she admired that first picture, a 
casual pose of herself naked and looking into the camera.  That image and pose 
were the first of many she would take of herself in the nude over the next four 
years.  She experimented with positions and lighting, keeping the pictures she 
liked and getting rid of the ones she didn’t.  Over time her collection grew and her 
ability to take self-portraits improved.

The contents of that picture card and its successor were her most prized 
possession, and yet they were a possession that up until that afternoon had been a 
total secret from the entire world.  She had conflicting feelings about the 
collection of images, because she was proud of them and wanted to show them to 
someone, but at the same time she was desperately afraid of them getting out.  
Now she did have a person to safely show them to and they would remain a 
secret, because Hartman was sworn to maintain patient confidentiality.  Whatever 
the counselor thought of the pictures, she would have to keep quiet because of the 
rules of her profession.  For Ruthie that restriction was perfect.

Ruthie had never made any back-up copies of her photo collection.  It was one 
thing out of many in her life that she had procrastinated.  She had bought two 
thumb drives, one for her entire collection and the other to copy just the pictures 
she was planning to show to her counselor.  When she counted the number of 
pictures stored on the two cards she was surprised, because she counted over 900 
images altogether, of which nearly 800 were “naughty” pictures.  That was just 
her high school collection.  Mike had several hundred more recently taken 
pictures stored in his camera.  Figuring that night was as good a time as any, she 
quietly took Mike’s card out of his camera and added his pictures to the collection 
stored on the thumb-drive.  Adding Mike’s pictures raised the total to 1500 files, 
almost all of which were images of Ruthie’s exposed body.  Just the thought of 
having posed for so many pictures aroused her.

Within the collection there were about 200 images she had taken during the 
months she was experimenting with self-spanking.  Most of those 200 photos 
were taken during or after her sessions with the bath brush, displaying her bare 
bottom in various shades of red.  The remaining self-portraits were taken while 
she was holding the bath brush in her hand and masturbating.  She spent a long 
time looking at those images on her computer screen.  They had been taken nearly 
four years before, but Ruthie still found them very erotic.  She really did look 
sexy posing with her red butt for the camera.  The very last picture of that batch 
had been taken right after she had giving herself that really severe spanking that 
left her bottom swollen and covered with welts, just a few hours before her gym 
teacher saw her in the nurse’s office.  Following that last spanking picture there 
was a four-month gap in the images because she had been too scared to take any 
more, but she could not bring herself to deleting the ones she already had taken.  
Starting on her 16th birthday the pictures started up again, but from that point 
forward the images were just nudes.  

As she looked through the spanking images, she thought about sorting out which 
ones were the best, but decided that it would be better to let Dr. Hartman know 
the full story of how obsessed she was about inflicting punishment on herself and 
documenting the results.  

During her next appointment Ruthie handed a thumb drive to her counselor.  She 
was extremely nervous as she stood next to Hartman’s desk.  She felt as though 
she had gone into Hartman’s office, taken off her clothes, and was standing naked 
next to her counselor.  In a way she standing naked next to her counselor, because 
the pictures graphically exposed her and left absolutely nothing to the 
imagination.

Hartman looked though about half of the images in silence.  She then pulled the 
thumb drive and handed it back to her patient.  She was calm, so Ruthie had no 
idea what effect, if any seeing those pictures had on her.

“A question.  How old were you when you were posing for those pictures?”

“For the ones you saw, 15.  I was 15 years old.”

“I suppose I’m not going to be able to talk you into getting rid of them.”

“Why?”

“You need to understand that what’s on that thumb-drive is about as illegal as you 
can get.  People go to jail for years for having stuff like that on their computers.”

“Are you gonna report me?”

“No.  That’s not my job.  And I’m not passing judgment on what you were doing, 
nor am I passing judgment on the fact you like photographing yourself.  I’m 
simply warning you those images will get you in a lot of legal trouble if they ever 
get out.”

Ruthie was annoyed that was her counselor’s only reaction to the contents of her 
thumb drive.  She had been hoping Dr. Hartman would be scandalized, or better 
yet, perhaps aroused.  Instead she looked at them dispassionately and the only 
comment about them that she had was that they were illegal.  Yes, Ruthie already 
knew that.  She wasn’t sure how to proceed.  Hartman broke the silence.

“So…this is what you were doing right after you had that disappointment with 
Mrs. Peters?”

“I guess it wasn’t right after…maybe I started a couple of weeks later.”

Ruthie then told the story from beginning to end, starting with how everything 
started when she overheard a conversation not meant for her ears.  Hartman 
pointed out that what the conversation did was give her the idea of using the bath 
brush for something she had been wanting to do anyway.  The two women spent 
several minutes trying to unravel Ruthie’s mix of religious guilt and burning 
sexuality.  Hartman pointed out that Ruthie needed an outlet for both her guilt and 
her sexual frustrations and it was her bruised bottom that paid the price.

Hartman pointed out that Ruthie was extremely lucky that her gym teacher did not 
report the “abuse”, because under state law she was supposed to do so.  Hartman 
could imagine how scary that must have been for her client, wondering if her 
“secret” would be exposed.  Given the religion that was being pushed on her at 
the time, it was easy to picture how Ruthie must have been on a guilt trip for 
months afterwards for nearly having gotten her mother in trouble, which was 
indeed true.

“I’m wondering if that scare that you had was sort of a watershed event in your 
life.  I’m wondering that because it seems you got a lot more into serious reading 
and adult topics after you turned 16.”

“I ‘spose maybe that’s true, Dr. Hartman.

“And you never got back into punishing yourself?”

Ruthie shook her head.

“Is that something you’d ever think about doing?”

“I’d love it.  But it would have to be just right, and I don’t see how I’d ever find 
anyone who could do it ‘just right’.  I mean…people are into all kinds of weird 
shit…blood, black clothing, high heels, tattoos, punching holes in their skin, 
pissing in their faces…and I wouldn’t want to do any of that, or even look at it.  
I’d just want it to be simple…I take off my dress, get my ass spanked, cry a bit, 
and get held.  I don’t want to have to deal with any of the weird shit.”

“Have you brought this up with Mike?”

Ruthie shook her head.

“No.  I couldn’t picture doing anything like that with him.”

“Why’s that?”

Ruthie thought for a minute.  Why couldn’t she picture doing anything like that 
with him?  Was it her dislike of sex?  Was it that she didn’t want to risk messing 
up the relationship?  Was it that she still was holding on to her fantasy with Mrs. 
Peters?  Was it that she didn’t trust him?  Or maybe she didn’t trust herself?

“I don’t know.  I never thought about it.”

“Well, I think you should consider talking to Mike about your fantasies.  I’m not 
saying actually do anything, but it might help your relationship if you get to know 
a bit more about that part of each other.  I’m going to guess you never asked him 
about his fantasies either.”

Ruthie shook her head.

“I’d hope your relationship would be about sharing.  You two are leaving out a lot 
if you’re not talking about your turn-on’s.”

Hartman proceeded to help Ruthie put her episodes of self-spanking into 
perspective, and in doing so helped her client resolve some of the guilt she felt 
over what she did to herself when she was 15.  Hartman surprised the student by 
telling her that she was by no means the first client who admitted to inflicting 
self-punishment for sexual pleasure.  “It’s a lot more common that you realize.  
And you think that the others who’ve come into my office don’t have the same 
worries about it that you do?”  Hartman also pointed out that a lot of religious 
sects, ranging from the Catholic Church to radical Muslims, encouraged their 
members to inflict self-punishment.  

----------

By the time she left Hartman’s office, Ruthie felt a lot more confident about 
herself, that maybe she really wasn’t as much of a freak with her sexual fantasies 
as she had thought.  Because of what she had learned in that session, she decided 
that she would indeed share some of her fantasies with Mike.  She also fully 
intended to share her collection of photographs with him, perhaps as a birthday 
present.  That was the one piece of Hartman’s advice she would never follow: 
there was no way she’d consider deleting the pictures she had taken of herself 
throughout high school.  They documented an important part of her life, they were 
irreplaceable, and they meant too much to her.

Ruthie’s 19th birthday was just a few days after she shared her “secret” with Dr. 
Hartman, at the end of March.  She had never bothered to tell Mike about her 
birthday because stuff like that had no meaning for her.  However, he knew the 
date because it was on both her California state ID and her student ID and there 
were plenty of times she had left her ID’s on the spare desk in his room.  

Mike was not romantic, nor was he the sort who would risk wasting his money on 
something Ruthie wouldn’t like.  She would never have to worry about him 
buying her lingerie or any other gifts that men typically buy for their wives or 
girlfriends that make them roll their eyes.  He was not going to try to guess what 
she wanted.  He simply asked.

Ruthie sat quietly, giving the matter some thought.  What did she want for her 
birthday?  There were two things that she really would have liked, but she 
assumed that Mike did not have the money for either.  One would have been a 
laptop, the other would have been having her summer tuition paid.  There was 
nothing cheaper that she wanted and she was not going to ask him to spend his 
money on something she really didn’t care about.  So what did she want that was 
within reason?

“Let me think about it.  I’m not really sure.  I’ll let you know tomorrow.”

She realized that what she wanted from him was not material item, but an 
experience.  Hartman’s advice for her to share her sexual fantasies came back into 
her thoughts.  She knew that she would not be able to articulate verbally what she 
wanted him to do, so she decided to write him a note:

On my birthday, I here is what I want:  

1. I want to spend the entire day with my clothes off.  I want you to figure out 
something so I don’t have to get dressed from the time I get up until the time I go 
to bed.  

2. I want you to take charge of me.  I don’t want to have to think about anything 
or make any decisions.  I want to do what you tell me.  If you want to tie my 
hands or blindfold me, that would be OK.

3. I want to go out, so you’ll need to figure out where we can go where I won’t 
have to put my clothes on.

4. When we get back, whether it is to the dorm or wherever else you decide to 
take me, I want you to punish me.  I want you to spank me on my butt.  I want 
you to give me a very long spanking, and I don’t want you to be afraid to hit me 
hard.  I’m not sure what’ll happen when you spank me.  If you can get me to cry, 
that’d be great.  I’m not sure if I’ll be able to cry or not, and if I can’t cry, don’t 
worry about it.  I might get really turned on by it.  I don’t know.  

5. When you’re spanking me, I’m probably going to be in my own zone, so it 
would be better not to say anything to me.  No lectures about me being a bad girl 
and needing punishment and no questions about how I feel. There won’t be a 
safe-word.  If I want you to stop or slow down, I’ll just tell you.

6. When you’re done spanking me, if I’m crying I will need to be held.  If I’m 
turned on, then we can have sex.  I don’t want to have sex if I’m crying.

I understand what put in here sounds kind of weird, but you did ask me what I 
wanted and I’m telling you.

----------

Ruthie’s birthday began at 3:00 am.  That was the moment Mike touched her 
shoulder and told her it was time to get up.  The previous night he had told her to 
stay in his room so she’d be ready for the day.  He told her to put on her shoes.  
Having slept naked, she already was not wearing anything else.  He looked 
outside his door to make sure no one was in the hallway, patted her bare bottom 
and told her it was time to go.  They walked out through a side door.  Mike knew 
that an alarm would go off at the night desk and the Resident Advisor assigned for 
night duty would have to investigate, but by the time he got to the door Mike and 
Ruthie would be long-gone.

As soon as they were outside, Mike slapped Ruthie on the bottom and took her 
hand.  They walked along the sidewalk to the parking lot assigned to the dorms.  
Ruthie felt the cool foggy morning air on her body and started to shiver.  She put 
her arms around her chest, but her boyfriend told her to put her hands down by 
her sides.

“No covering yourself.” 

She was relieved to get into Mike’s car.  They drove off in the darkness.  They 
drove to Santa Cruz before turning inland.  By the time the sun came up, they 
were driving along an isolated road that led to the back entrance of a forest park.  
Mike had carefully researched the route, making sure they would not have to 
drive through any towns after it got light outside.  They were still driving along 
the forested hills after the sun came up, but by then they were safely away from 
any towns where they would have to stop.  They came to a very isolated trail-head 
where there was only space for three cars.  Ruthie could tell that the trail was 
rarely used, especially during the week.

When they got out, Mike put some sunscreen on Ruthie’s shoulders and picked up 
a fully loaded backpack.  With that the couple set off on their hike.  Mike’s 
intention was to spend several hours hiking on the difficult trail, go to a lake he 
had seen on a forest service map, have lunch there and swim, and then see what 
his girlfriend wanted to do.  If she was tired and wanted to sleep, that would take 
up some of the afternoon.  If she was not tired, they’d simply hike a bit further to 
another pond; then turn around.  Once they were several hundred yards from the 
parking lot, Mike took off his clothing as well and stuffed it in his backpack.  

The day was one of the happiest of Ruthie’s life.  She enjoyed the scenery and the 
feeling of the warm sun on her skin.  She had the chance to observe a lot of 
geological formations and the couple made many stops and treks off the trail so 
Ruthie could look at something that interested her.  The delays and constant stops 
were a pleasant surprise for Mike, because he had been worried they might get to 
the end of the trail too soon and then have nothing to do.  His plan was to return to 
the car about an hour before sunset so it would be dark before they got back on a 
main road. Going back any earlier than that would be too risky.

Mike took numerous pictures of his naked girlfriend as she wandered around the 
rocks and walked along the trail.  She also posed for numerous pictures; striking 
just about every position imaginable.  Mike smiled and reflected that she really 
was “nature’s girl”.

When they got to the lake, they spread out a dorm blanket and had lunch.  Mike 
then gave Ruthie a lengthy massage.  Sure enough, she fell asleep.  He took 
several pictures of her while sleeping before going into the water for a swim.  She 
woke up a couple of hours later and swam as well.  She rewarded him by hugging 
him and massaging his penis until he got hard.  She grabbed her tube of lubricant 
and lay down on the blanket.  He entered her and thrust as she lay quietly with her 
eyes closed.  By that time he was used to her quietness while they were having 
sex.  She had told him that she was enjoying it when he made love to her, but was 
just more quiet about it than most women.  

When it was time to head back, Mike’s careful planning paid off, because they 
made it to his car shortly before sunset.  Mike felt that he had to get dressed 
before he started driving, but Ruthie was able to enjoy the ride through the 
countryside in the nude. 

The next stop was a clothing-optional resort that had a restaurant and hot tubs.  
Mike had called ahead to make reservations and to make sure they could get in 
without being members.  They enjoyed a naked dinner, complete with a small 
cake for Ruthie’s birthday, and spent time in the pool and hot tubs.  By the time 
they left the resort it was well after 10:00 pm.  They didn’t return to the university 
until almost midnight.  By that time Mike was dead-tired, but so far he had given 
Ruthie the birthday that she had asked for.  

Mike knew that the hardest and most dangerous part of the day would be getting 
back into his room.  He had to somehow get Ruthie past the night clerk.  He gave 
that some thought and came up with a plan.  He gave Ruthie the key to his room 
and told her to wait in the bushes near the front entrance.  Then he went inside, 
walked to the far side of the building, and propped the exit open.  He knew the 
night clerk would have to close the door and re-lock it, which would give Ruthie 
the chance to get past the reception desk without being seen.  There was a chance 
someone would see her in the hallway, but that was a risk she’d have to take.  
Mike told Ruthie to wait exactly two minutes, and then go in.  Her heart 
pounding, Ruthie looked at the watch Mike had lent her, and at two minutes left 
her hiding spot and ran into the building.  The night clerk was not at the desk.  
She fumbled with his key, let herself into the main hallway, and ran to where he 
room was.  She had to run past several guys who were sitting on the floor chatting 
in the hall.  They whistled at her, but did nothing more.  Finally Ruthie got to 
Mike’s room and let herself in.  He showed up a few moments later.

The day had been perfect so far.  There was only one thing left to do.  While she 
waited, he dragged in a small sofa that he borrowed from the commons area.  Her 
heart pounded as she helped him move the spare bed to make room for the sofa.  
Mike then took off his clothes and sat down.  Without saying anything, Ruthie 
approached him.  He reached up to take her hand and pulled her across his lap.

He massaged her bottom, enjoying the sight and feel of her soft skin under the 
palm of his hand.  He took his time, because he wanted to enjoy her body before 
he began her birthday spanking.  She trembled with anticipation as she waited for 
the first slap.  Finally Mike rested his hand on her left bottom-cheek and gave her 
a moderate smack.  She jerked slightly.  He hit her again, on the other side.  She 
closed her eyes and was very quiet.

The spanking started out slowly and softly.  He wasn’t sure how hard he should 
hit, even though she had told him that she wanted him to hit her hard.  After he 
had spanked her lightly for a long time, but could tell that she was growing 
impatient and wanted him to spank her harder. Finally he did what she wanted, 
slapping her bottom with crisp hard smacks. She snuggled over his lap and 
steadied herself by holding onto his shin. Her bottom was turning red, but she 
gave him no sign whatsoever she wanted him to stop.

Finally Mike set aside his reservations and slapped her very hard. He paced 
himself, giving her a hard smack every 10 seconds. He started rubbing her 
swelling bottom between slaps. She closed her eyes and her breathing changed. 
She flinched each time he hit her, but it was clear from her expression that she 
was enjoying being spanked.  He wanted to ask her if she had enough, but 
fortunately he avoided that mistake. This was Ruthie's spanking and Ruthie's 
experience. It needed to be what she wanted.

His hand was getting tired and the girl's bottom was deep red when she surprised 
him.  She moaned from arousal. That was clearly a happy moan...something Mike 
had never heard from her before. Out of curiosity he touched her between the 
legs, only to discover that she was totally wet. That was a shock to him, because 
never had he seen her wet or aroused. She moaned again and began moving her 
hips on his lap. There was no question about it...for the first time since he had 
known her...she was having an orgasm.  He brushed his fingers between her legs 
and spanked her some more.  Her breathing changed completely.  She moaned 
again.  His fingers returned to her pussy.  He touched her clitoris and she tilted her 
body up to make it easier for him.  She moaned again as he explored the most 
sensitive part of her body.  She was rocking back and forth, rubbing herself.

He pushed her up and told her to get on her hands and knees on his bed.  She 
obeyed him and waited while he struggled to get a condom on.  He entered her 
and thrust.  She still was tremendously aroused.  She climaxed when he was still 
inside her.

A few minutes later the two students calmed down and got into Mike’s bed.  She 
fell asleep and with that her birthday celebration came to an end.  Within a few 
hours she’d have to get up and go to the student center to serve coffee.

As he held her in his arms, Mike wondered what to make out of what had just 
happened.  He understood that Ruthie had been lying to him about her orgasms.  
No, during all those times they had previously made love, she had not been 
aroused.  That crap about her quiet orgasms was total bullshit.  He knew it for a 
fact, because now he had seen what she was like when she really was aroused.  He 
didn’t know whether to resent the fact she had lied to him, or appreciate the fact 
she was trying to make him happy while doing something she didn’t like.


