Celestial Reviews 177 - April 30, 1997

Note: In the recent flurry of comments on my reviews, one of the 
silliest comments I have seen is this one:

<<...if you think that newsgroup authors deserve praise for their  
stories, don't support Celeste.  According to her, when you don't sell  
your story for money, your work becomes common property.  How can you 
expect to be praised for your work when you can't even expect it not to 
be stolen?  How can you expect it not to be stolen when someone who 
calls themselves a reviewer "reviews" and dignifies stolen work?>>

If my high school students cite information that badly out of context, I 
fail them on the paper.  Citing me like that is akin to saying that 
religious people should not read the bible, because it advocates 
atheism.  It does, you know - the bible says, "There is no God."  As a 
matter of fact, it makes this statement in at least two different 
places.  In one passage it says, "The fool says in his heart, `There is 
no God.'" In another place it says, "I am the Lord thy God, there is no 
God before me."

My point is that I am one of the strongest advocates of giving authors 
credit for their work.  Unless I am mistaken, the refereence to my 
writing is taken from a review in which I was berating someone for 
changing Rondu's "Double Trouble" by turning the twin boys into twin 
girls.  I contrasted this clearly inappropriate practice (and a few 
other bad practices, as I recall) with the work of an author named TEX, 
who once posted a story called "Raped Teen Burglar" that consisted of a 
previous story with an added second half that parodied the original 
story and completely reversed its impact.  {The original story conveyed 
the message that it would be fun for a guy to capture a teenage burglar 
and make her into a permanent sex slave, whereas the TEX version 
suggested that a person who did this sort of thing would be a shallow 
asshole who would deserve the gang-rapes that would probably occur when 
he got to prison.}  I don't want to revisit the TEX issue here (maybe 
some other time), but my point is that one would have to read really 
badly (or deliberately falsify information) in order to interpret my 
position on that issue to support the position that I'm accused of in 
the preceding quotation.

Second Note:  Someone has reposted a large number of stories by Michael 
K. Smith.  I am reposting my reviews of those stories.  In addition, I 
found a few more outstanding stories that have appeared recently in 
a.s.s.m., and I am reposting those reviews as well. It is my impression 
that a.s.s.m. is working out pretty well.

Third Note: Arthur C. Clarke has a series on television called 
"Unexplained Mysteries."  Let him try this one.  I woke up with a 
coughing spasm last night.  I wasn't going to get back to sleep.  The 
mucus from my nasal drip was going to irritate my throat and drive me 
crazy.  This ruled out French kissing.  {I thought I should throw that 
in, just in case anyone objected to this being something other than a 
sex story.}  I find when this happens the best thing to do is to get up, 
take a drink of water, and sit up for a few minutes.  I did a, b, and c; 
and while doing c, I flipped on my computer.  I drifted onto AOL, and 
since it was 2:30 a.m., I got on at my first try.  Under the apparent 
influence of mind control, I went into a.s.s.  The first story on the 
list was a spam asking me if I was sick of spam.  The next fourteen 
entries were labeled 'naughty naked dreamgirls numbers 21 through 8."  
Next came "Please Baby...Cum All Over My Ass!!!", which was followed 
immediately by "I Want You To Fuck Me Up The Ass Baby!!!" and then 
"!H@@KERS 4 HIRE".  

I couldn't believe my luck.  In fact, since I'm a Libra I don't put any 
stock at all in that psychic crap, and so I don't even believe in omens; 
but I couldn't help it: I downloaded 'naughty naked dreamgirls 8."  When 
I looked at its title, I saw "Chambers of Love Part Eight by Andrew 
Roller Chapter Four."  Well, says I, before I get roped into a story 
that has no ending or beginning, I had better check out "dreamgirls 9."  
I did so, and its title was " Chambers of Love Part Nine by Andrew 
Roller Chapter Four."  Then AOL warned me that I would be disconnected 
unless I responded by checking YES.  I checked YES and was disconnected 
anyway a few minutes later.  All of this was so surrealistic that I was 
tempted to yank out a cunt hair as a test to see if I was awake or 
dreaming.

Now I must digress for a moment.  I have a moral dilemma, which I have 
discussed several times in these reviews.  This moral dilemma is the one 
thin link that turns these reviews into a story and makes it appropriate 
to post them on a.s.s. instead of a.s.s.d. with all the other 
DISCUSSIONS of sex stories that are the meaty topic of that newsgroup.  
My moral dilemma is as follows.  I am a blissfully - indeed, obnoxiously 
- happy monogamist.  I am intensely - indeed, obnoxiously - loyal to my 
One True Love, who is also my Husband.  Yet I enjoy sex fantasies - 
which is fortunate; otherwise I would dislike writing these reviews.  
Now here's the dilemma part: sometimes I have erotic dreams.  OK, OFTEN 
I have erotic dreams, and during some of these dreams I am tempted to go 
all the way with the sexy person who is sharing the dream with me.  My 
goddam moral principles are so deeply embedded, however, that even in my 
dreams my conscience tells me not to do it!  So in my dreams I watch all 
kinds of sexy people fucking their brains out, and some of these people 
come on to me.  Invariably I say no thank you.  Sometimes I even chew 
gum or take a cold shower to mitigate my frustration in my dream.

But sometimes I become aware in my dream that maybe I am dreaming.  And 
then - still in my dream - it occurs to me that if I'm dreaming it won't 
really do me any harm to fuck with the guy who's sticking it up the ass 
of the beautiful woman right there in front of me.  I won't get AIDS or 
even a yeast infection from the penis that has been in the other lady's 
asshole.  The guy will be able to shoot his wad in me in spite of the 
fact that he has just reamed out her other two apertures before he got 
to her ass.  And my husband won't care; indeed, if he notices at all, 
he'll have to be in the dream himself, and he'll probably join right in.  
In other words, my dream will be just like an a.s.s. story.

However, what usually happens at this point is that all this thinking 
wakes me up.  So my goal has become to catch myself dreaming AND TO 
MANAGE TO STAY ASLEEP LONG ENOUGH TO HAVE SEX IN THE DREAM.

Now back to the present - actually, back to last night.  That is, this 
is no longer a digression, unless this whole thing is a digression - 
which is distinctly possible, since this may all be a dream.  Here I 
was, downloading Parts 8 and 9 of uncapitalized "naughty naked 
dreamgirls," which were really both Chapter 4 of the same story, which 
apparently did not exist, as also did not exist Parts 1 through 7, which 
probably would have been Chapter 4 of that same story, which still did 
not exist, except for these several chapter 4's.  And these Chapter 4's, 
whether they existed or not, came immediately after a spam that told me 
how to avoid spams and before some really inviting sexual innuendoes 
that probably would also have offered me pictures, except that AOL had 
logged me off after it had just told me to say YES if I wanted to say NO 
to this eventuality.

Things like this don't happen in real life, not even in cyberspace.  The 
only explanation was that I had caught myself dreaming right there at my 
computer.  Not only was I dreaming, but I knew I was dreaming.  I could 
have sex with monogamous impunity.  My only problem was that I had no 
partner.

Do you like my story?  Does it make you cum in buckets?  If so, please 
write to me, and maybe I'll finish it if I haven't awakened by then.

Just in case you're wondering, I checked when I woke up in the morning.  
The preceding paragraphs were still here, and so I wasn't dreaming after 
all.  I guess, in a sense, I was only dreaming that I was dreaming.  I 
DID have some pretty good sex after I wrote those paragraphs, but I'm 
pretty sure it was with my husband, who was naked in my bed and already 
had a hard-on when I returned after the mucus went away.  I can't say 
that for sure.  I'll have to ask him.  

Wow!  Talk about unclear grammar!  I had better clarify that.  I didn't 
have to check with my husband to see if the mucus was gone.  I had to 
check to see if it was him (actually, he) whom I fucked early that 
morning.  Whoever it was - when we kissed, he got my chewing gum, not my 
mucus.

But I had better tell you the end of this story.  Since these events had 
been on my mind, I decided to tell my husband about my dream problems 
the next night when we went to bed.  However, he was in a playful mood, 
and he suggested that we play Tell Me Your Dream while we made love.  It 
turned out that this was very much like Tell Me About Your First Time, 
which has been played in several a.s.s. stories.  I won the toss at 
"Cocks and Cunts," and I elected to receive during the first half.  {If 
you don't know what this means, you should either read "Straight Sex" by 
Mike Hunt or check out the review of that story in CR 176.}  So he told 
his story first.  

It seems that the previous night he had been dreaming about making love 
on a beach with Naomi Campbell.  She had wrapped her lips around his 
cock and messaged it with her lips while she occasionally stroked it 
with her tongue.  She had brought him close to climax while she deep 
throated him.  Then he had pushed her head back and forced her gently 
down on her back and nuzzled his face up against her pussy.  As he 
inhaled her aroma, he began to lick and tease her clitoris, which was 
surprisingly hard.  She started to cum almost immediately, and she 
continued to undulate wildly on the beach while the waves crashed around 
them while he continued his attention to her cunt while he massaged her 
asscheeks with his hands.

Then he unexpectedly felt a different pair of lips on his own ass.  
After a few minutes this other pair of lips started rimming his asshole 
while he continued to bring Naomi closer and closer to heaven.  Finally, 
Naomi gently pushed his head aside, rolled him over, mounted him, and 
began riding him like a cowgirl, only she was faced away from him, and 
all he could see was her little rosebud between her asscheeks and her 
beautiful buttocks as she rocked up and down and rode into ecstasy.  He 
closed his eyes, and the second pair of lips wrapped themselves around 
his cock and began making him even happier.  Well, I'm not good at 
details, but let's just say that at the moment when Naomi Campbell let 
out a scream that would have awakened the other girls on his Sports 
Illustrated calendar, the other woman did a trick with her tongue that 
caused my husband to erupt in an orgasm of his own.  Then he kissed both 
women and fell asleep in his dream.  

I mean, this guy is so dense in his dreams that he doesn't even notice 
that it's impossible to have the same cock buried deep inside a 
supermodel and inside a hungry pair of lips belonging to another woman!  
I could have been chewing gum while I was sucking his cock in his dream, 
and he wouldn't have even noticed!

Anyway, I was giving him head while he told this story; and for a moment 
there I felt the urge to bite his cock off, because it was obvious to me 
that I was the second woman in his dream.  He had been having a wet 
dream about one of his calendar playmates that night; and when I joined 
him in bed, his subconscious had simply added me to his dream. Back in 
real life, he shot a geyser all over my face while he told me this 
story; and while I licked his cock clean he asked me what was the 
matter.  I tried to explain to him that he had achieved my goal of 
having wildly happy, guilt-free sex during a dream, and that I had 
contributed to his project without realizing it.  He asked me if I had 
enjoyed the lovemaking of the night before, and I said yes.  He asked me 
if he should feel guilty about having sex with someone else during a 
dream, and I said of course not.  But then I tried to explain to him 
about the earlier parts of this review, and he said this was all 
interesting but he would prefer that I simply get started with my own 
story.

Well, what was I to do?  My ambition in life is to have a dream like 
his, but my conscience keeps this from happening.  My dreams have been 
boring compared to his.  Fortunately, my conscience does not keep me 
from lying for a good cause.  I simply modified "Straight Sex" just a 
little bit as I described some of those events to him, and in no time at 
all I was having fully conscious consensual sex with the man of my 
dreams.

Third Note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews 
for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.

- Celeste

      "The Gangbang" by DG (sitcom parody) 10, 10, 10
      "The Blowjob" by Dimitri (sitcom parody) 9, 9, 9
      "BeachSlut" by Suzie SleaZe (beach slut) 9, 10, 10
      "Maverick" by Shelby Bush (TV parody) 10, 10, 10
      "Dad's Going to Kill Us" by Cobalt Jade (teen sex with
            crazy artist) 10, 10, 10
      "Midnight Intruder" by Dafney DeWitt (cliffhangers)
            9.5, 10, 10
      "Dear Mr. Johnson" by Rebecca (sex with the pool man)
            10, 9, 9
      "Miss You" by Dulcinea (masturbation) 10, 8, 10
      "Nylon Toes" by Dulcinea (foot fetish) 10, 9, 9

    * "Sondra's Day" by Pete Ferrer (romance) 8, 10, 10
    * "Dorothy Does Oz" by Shelby Bush (movie parody)
            10, 10, 10
    * "The Dare" by Michael K. Smith (emerging adolescence)
            10, 10, 10
    * "Discovery" by Michael K. Smith (romance) 10, 10, 10
    * "In/Out Law" by Michael K. Smith (romance) 
            10, 10, 10
    * "Neighbors" by Michael K. Smith (romance & emerging
            adolescence) 10, 10, 10
    * "Philly" by Michael K. Smith (romance & emerging
            adolescence) 10, 10, 10
    * "Road Trip" by Michael K. Smith (romance)
            10, 10, 10
    * "Seduction" by Michael K. Smith (infidelity)
            10, 10, 10
    * "Dyad" by Michael K. Smith (emerging adolescence) 
            10, 10, 10
    * "Trinity Trilogy Novel" by Tom Trinity (hedonistic
            relationships) 10, 10, 10

* = Repost of a previous review (because the story has 
      recently been reposted)

"The Gangbang" by DG (dionysian1@hotmail.com).  Elaine Benes comes into 
the apartment and drops an enormous gym bag on the floor with a loud 
thump.  She is wearing a tight spandex leotard under a pair of running 
shorts, and her long brown hair is pulled back by a sweatband.  Sweat 
evaporating from her leotard has caused localized cooling, and her 
nipples are poking through the spandex.  Of course, this is an episode 
from Seinfeld; and Jerry and George have been commiserating about not 
getting laid lately.  By incredible coincidence, Elaine is horny too: 
she hasn't gotten laid since Fred joined the cult.  They decide on a 
plan that involves some sort of mutual reciprocal alleviation of needs; 
but lo and behold, Cosmo Kramer bursts into the room, thus stretching 
the limits of the proposed threesome.  It's like sharing a taxi - 
there's not neceesarily always room for one more.  Then Kramer has the 
inspiration to invite Newman to join the fun.  It seems that Newman has 
a reputation as a cocksman at Harvard or someplace and has starred in 
adult movies back in the 80's.  Four guys!  How do you do four guys at 
once?  Somebody will have to sit in the front seat of the cab.

When it all gets started, Elaine knows what a car would feel like going 
through one of those deluxe hand washes where the attendants swarm all 
over it with their hoses, sponges, and soft rags.  It's hard for a 
working girl to concentrate on her work under a constant barrage of 
metaphors and innuendoes like that.  I practically came on the 
windshield wiper several times.

Ratings for "The Gangbang"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"The Blowjob" by Dimitri (dimitri@ihug.co.nz). If a woman offers to give 
a guy a blowjob, should he give her one first?  It's a question like 
this that can supply the basic premise for a Seinfeld sitcom.  Elaine, 
of course, says yes; and George and Jerry DO yes, with varying yet 
similar results.  This is more a humor story than a sex story, but it is 
still a very enjoyable extension of the Seinfeld TV series.

As I have said before, the nice thing about sitcom parodies is that the 
characters already exist in the minds of readers who are familiar with 
the sitcoms.  In both this and the previous story I could easily imagine 
Jerry and his dysfunctional friends engaging in these activities. 

Ratings for "The Blowjob"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

"BeachSlut" by Suzie SleaZe (101445.2670@CompuServe.COM).  This is the 
best writing I have ever seen by Ms. SleaZe.  She says this story has 
been UpDated, UpGraded, UpCocked, UpSucked and UpSpunked.

What this author has accomplished here is actually quite difficult.  She 
is trying to present to the reader the exuberant sexual memoirs of a 
total slut; and young ladies of that ilk, of course, have no time for 
such academic trivialities as grammar and style.  Such people are the 
stuff of dreams for horny guys who would like to find a playmate like 
this - and of horny women who would like to believe they could be like 
this if they let their hair down for a little while.  

I get comments every once in a while that grammar doesn't really matter.  
The trouble is that clear expression DOES matter, and it's hard to be 
clear if you're not being clear - I hope I am being clear here.  Anyway, 
it's really difficult to write like a dumb slut in such a way that the 
reader will think that he or she is encountering a really sexy dumb 
slut.  Most writers that try to do this come across as really confused 
writers whose stories are not worth the trouble to read.

If there are any teenagers reading this review, I encourage you to keep 
Suzie in your dreams.  The activities described in this story would be a 
very bad idea in real life - but a very NICE bad idea!

Ratings for "BeachSlut"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Maverick" by Shelby Bush (stbush@iglou.com).  Bret and Bart Maverick 
have gone east, where they happen to be in Louisville for the first 
running of the Kentucky Derby.  As is his custom, Bret has developed a 
quick romance with a young lady: and as is HIS custom, Bart has stumbled 
upon the situation in time to help his brother get into and out of 
trouble.  However, this time the details are a little different than in 
an ordinary Maverick episode.  Bret's lovely lady is a hooker, and the 
focus of the episode is to set up her pimp for a sting that will enable 
all the girls in his stable to gain their independence from his harsh 
rule.  The sex is not described in great detail, but it enlivens the 
episodes and is compatible with the original Maverick story line.  The 
only flaws I found in this story were a few instances where the author 
got the names of the characters confused; for example, once Keno was 
talking to Keno, and another time a character named Carol suddenly 
appeared out of nowhere.  I call this a parody, but it's really more of 
a pastiche - that is, the author is not making fun of the original story 
(as in a parody), but is rather exploring the possibilities of what 
would occur if a few basic assumptions or limitations were changed.

Ratings for "Maverick"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Dad's Going to Kill Us" by Cobalt Jade (CobaltJade@aol.com). Tyler 
Smith is a slightly deranged starving artist in the Seattle area.  
Professor Turner, a musician, has purchased some paintings from her and 
has commissioned her to do another for him.  Tyler has developed an 
immediate attraction to the Professor's 18-year-old son Reed and 
probably to his 16-year-old son Brent as well.  Her own age of 32 is not 
a serious impediment; she feels she can deal with the younger 
generation.  She invites Reed back to her garret to view her etchings or 
whatever, and there she reveals herself to be a rather kinky critter.

Of course, even the children of Carter-era liberals have seen dozens of 
movies about sex-starved older women seducing sex-starved young men, and 
they have fantasized about how suave and debonair they would act it if 
happened to them.  But one never knows what will happen when the femme 
fatal lures one (or two, for that matter) into the bedroom on the 
pretense of letting one study the nude paintings on the wall and then 
plies one with absinthe, while she's adorned in a purple pushup bra and 
high-cut thong panties, even though she's also wearing a thigh-length 
black silk robe for modesty's sake.  Ah, modesty - we all know the 
feeling!

When Reed balks, Tyler says, "Stop complaining, and I'll give you a 
tongue job."  His reply is straight out of Hamlet or perhaps Thomas 
Hardy: "Oh, all right."  And so it goes.  When he declines the 
handcuffs, she obliges him with equally effective high-quality duct 
tape, and he becomes somewhat less articulate: "Tyler...uh...ah...."

This was not exactly a sexy story to me.  By that I mean it didn't get 
me sexually aroused; I did not find it thrilling to imagine myself being 
a fundamentally crazy middle-aged woman playing bondage and piercing 
games with a couple of innocent teenage boys.  That is, were I to have 
sexual fantasies about my students, my imagination would have me doing 
something other than getting them drunk and snapping grunge jewelry onto 
their bodies.  On the other hand, I did find this to be a thoroughly 
interesting story.

Ratings for "Dad's Going to Kill Us"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Midnight Intruder" by Dafney DeWitt (dafneydewitt@juno.com). The author 
says that this posting was never intended to be a story.  It was created 
as a writing exercise to develop cliff-hanger endings.  Will the heroine 
escape her fate?  Will she unravel the mystery?  I'm glad the author 
mentioned this in his disclaimer, because as a story this is imperfect, 
but as a series of cliffhangers it's great.

The plot is built around the experiences of a woman who goes to visit an 
old friend.  She is attracted to the adolescent twins, but this 
attraction is interrupted first by the sounds of lovemaking in the 
adjacent bedroom and then by the presence of an intruder who seems to be 
preoccupied either with raping her or wreaking havoc with the large ax 
he wields so effectively.  Each chapter ends with an unresolved action 
(cliffhanger) built around a different type of (often kinky) sex.  It's 
a lot of fun!

Ratings for "Midnight Intruder"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Dear Mr. Johnson" by Rebecca (Rebecca012@aol.com).  This story, listed 
as "Erotic Story -- My First Post", is written in the form of a letter 
of recommendation to nominate Tony the pool man for Employee of the 
Month.  It seems that Tony services the writer of the letter almost as 
well as he services the pool - or vice versa.  This author writes well. 
I hope we see more stories from her.

Ratings for "Dear Mr. Johnson"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

"Miss You" by Dulcinea (ImDulcinea@aol.com).  The lady misses her 
husband, who has been away on a business trip.  She is masturbating in 
the shower, fantasizing about his return the next day.  Suddenly, he 
returns unexpectedly and finishes the job for her.  This is not really a 
complete story, but it's a very sexy snippet.  Actually, the only time 
my husband pulled a stunt like this on me in real life, he scared the 
bejesus out of me, and I made him promise never to do it again.

Ratings for "Miss You"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Nylon Toes" by Dulcinea (ImDulcinea@aol.com).  The guy hates to go 
shopping with his wife; but since he has a bit of a foot fetish, she 
finds a creative way to make the trip to the shoe store enjoyable.

Ratings for "Nylon Toes"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

* "Sondra's Day" by Pete Ferrer (Ferrer@msn.com).  It's her 
birthday, and 29-year-old Sondra feels an emptiness in her life.  
Her husband is asleep in the next room.  Although their son is 
spending the night with grandma, the couple has decided to 
celebrate the birthday on the weekend instead of today.  In 
addition, Sondra feels a mixture of longing and guilt; in spite of 
her continued love for her husband, she has been having an affair 
with a coworker for the past eight months, and she can't help 
thinking about him.  Her husband wakes up, comes into the room, 
and kisses her; and suddenly there's a knock at the door. It's her 
lover; and he and the husband combine to give her the sexual 
evening of her lifetime.  Even though I have told you perhaps too 
much of the plot, I think you'll enjoy the story.  I know I did, 
even though I guessed the ending about a quarter of the way into 
the story.

As an aside, I might note that I think this story achieves the 
egalitarian impact that the author of "Klanwoman" missed.  In this 
story the wife and husband are white and the lover black, but 
racial stereotypes play no role in the story.  They're all three 
good people trying to make one another happy.

This is one of those stories that I would really like to act out 
in real life - but which I really wouldn't want to act out in real 
life.  That last sentence is as contradictory as I can make it, 
and it expresses my feelings exactly.  This is a really, really 
hot fantasy for me; and if I were 100% certain I could act it out 
in real life without doing anybody any harm, I would go for it.  
However, I know that's impossible - the actual activity would 
require fundamental changes in my relationship with my husband and 
would involve someone else in a possibly unfortunate way; and so I 
am simply grateful for this excellent fantasy.  I guess I don't 
know what I'm missing, but I do know and appreciate what I have.  
And a story like this enables me to have a little bit of what I am 
missing.

This is already a good story, but the author prefaced his story 
with a request for feedback.  Here is what I think it needs to 
become a great story:  

(1) Get rid of the long paragraphs.  I myself often write 
excessively long paragraphs in my first drafts.  During the 
revision process I often break a single paragraph down into three 
or four separate paragraphs.  (For example, this list of four 
suggestions was originally a single paragraph.  By breaking it 
into several paragraphs, I have made it easier to digest and less 
intimidating to readers.)  Readers are simply not willing to read 
fifty paragraphs in a row that are each at least thirty lines 
long.  My suggested use of multiple paragraphs may make it 
necessary to use some additional strategy such as asterisks (****) 
or chapters to indicate a break between major ideas.

(2) Before posting the story, go through it one last time and look 
for grammar and punctuation errors.  This story contains numerous 
errors that are just plain unnecessary but still distracting.  It 
would be especially nice to make all the verb tenses logically 
consistent.  

(3) At places the author should consider going a little heavier on 
action and less on introspection.  The reformatting that I 
suggested in (1) will help solve this problem.  Long paragraphs 
are often perceived as more introspective and less action-oriented 
than short ones.

(4) Consider rearranging events to build anticipation or to keep 
the reader from guessing the ending.  I myself easily guessed the 
ending.  The author followed a mostly chronological presentation 
of events.  Maybe some other strategy using flashbacks would work 
better.

As I said, this is already a very good story.  In truth, I'm 
actually slightly *glad* that the author had some flaws in the 
story.  I had already compiled my Top 15 List for March before I 
read this story.  It was hard enough to get that list down to 
fifteen stories, and if I would have had to add this one, I would 
have had to bump another exceptionally good story from my list.

Ratings for "Sondra's Day"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Dorothy Does Oz" by Shelby Bush (stbush@iglou.com).  In the early 
paragraphs of this story we meet Dorothy, a smart-assed farm girl 
about to celebrate her 18th birthday, and Toto, the cute little 
dog that specializes in licking Dorothy's clit.  The farm hands 
are planning to give Dorothy a sexual treat on her birthday.  
Since the tornado arrives while Dorothy is masturbating, she 
initially confuses it with a really good orgasm.  Dorothy's house 
is swept up by the tornado and lands on the Wicked Witch of the 
East, who had been prohibiting the Munchkins from any pleasures - 
including you know what.  After spending some time in the ensuing 
orgy, Dorothy starts on her trek along the yellow brick road, 
where she meets and attempts sex with the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, 
and the Lion - among others.

After some adventures and other preliminaries, they meet the 
Wizard, who promises to grant their every wish; but first - and 
here's the kicker - they must bring him the dildo of the Wicked 
Witch of the West.  I don't want to ruin the story; if you've seen 
the movie, you'll be able to guess major parts of the plot anyway.  
All I'll say is that the story ends with Dorothy waking up in her 
old bedroom as the three hired hands enter the room, all naked and 
their erect cocks in their hands. "Happy birthday," they shout in 
unison; and Dorothy exclaims, "There IS no place like home!" 

Ratings for "Dorothy Does Oz"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"The Dare" by Michael K. Smith (mksmith@taproot.win.net).  
Sixteen-year-old Katie had defied the school dress standards and 
had gotten away with it.  She had read the Rule Book, and it said 
nothing about how much leg a girl can show.  It only stated the 
minimum length of the skirt itself.  Since Katie was tall, a skirt 
of the requisite length showed a lot of leg and a bit of ass; and 
she enjoyed the opportunity to shock and arouse the boys and 
teachers.

Having had her fun, Katie mentioned to her friends that the Rule 
Book also failed to state that it was necessary to wear underwear.  
So she formally dared her friends to join her in a No Underwear 
Day.  For complex sociological reasons no one in the immediate 
peer group had declined a dare in the six years since the Rules of 
the Dare had been formalized, and so No Underwear Day was formally 
scheduled.

When the Day comes, Katie is unwilling to just Do It; she must 
also Take Risks.  Escalation Station!  The other girls begin to 
take risks too.  An interesting story!

Realism check:  when the narrator gives head to the guy in the 
Journalism lab, she sucks him deep into her mouth and swallows his 
cum.  She says she does this in imitation of what she saw in an X-
rated movie.  Right!  The one thing I have noted about X-rated 
movies is that nobody ever comes inside anyone.  The actors always 
shoot their jism all over the face, the buttocks, or the breasts 
of their partner - apparently because viewers would be unable to 
see this wonderful sight if the penis were buried deep inside an 
appropriate receptacle.  Katie and her friends might have learned 
some interesting things from that movie, but swallowing male 
ejaculate would not have been one of them.

Ratings for "The Dare"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Discovery" by Michael K. Smith (mksmith@metronet.com).  The guy 
works in the library reference area, and an attractive girl whom 
he would like to meet accidentally drops her purse on the floor.  
Instead of picking it up for her, he waits for her to leave and 
then retrieves the purse.  He checks its contents.  What will he 
do?  If this were a Parker story, he would try to use the 
information obtained from the purse to stalk its owner and make 
her into his sexual slave.  However, Parker is a complex author; 
and so the guy might wind up becoming HER sexual slave.

If the author were either SueNH or Ann Douglas, the guy would 
return the purse but would first look in the window of her house 
or apartment and discover her making love to her female roommate.  
He would probably knock on the door, and the purse's owner would 
recognize him as the author of several of her favorite stories on 
a prominent Internet newsgroup and would invite him to join the 
festivities.  The sex would be explicitly described and wildly 
erotic, but nothing much kinkier than three-way sex.

If the author were Backrub or one of the Ng sisters, the range of 
possibilities would expand rapidly, depending on the mood of the 
author.  The guy might find Tammy's diary in the purse, read it, 
and insert himself into her love life.  The purse would almost 
certainly contain at least one dildo and probably several other 
sextoys.  {Indeed, if this were a story by May Anne Mohanraj, the 
story might be told from the perspective of the dildo.}  The woman 
to whom the guy returns the purse might be a vampire.  Almost 
certainly there would be passionate heterosexual activity,  and it 
is not particularly likely that the guy would die during the 
ensuing action.

If Wollstonecraft wrote the story, the guy would return the purse; 
but the woman would be either a nun or a member of a coven of 
witches.  They would be hostile to him, until he offered to 
impregnate them all during a wild orgy, at which time they would 
become submissive but passionate.  It is very possible that 
somebody might die during the ensuing orgies.

If Mark Aster were the author, the girl would be Pat Allen, the 
lovely and vivacious older sister of the equally lovely and 
vivacious Julie Allen.  When he returned the purse, the guy would 
find its owner making tender love to her sister and to an 
extremely sexy stud in a metaphorically rich environment.  They 
would invite him to join the festivities, and the author would 
choreograph his orgasm to coincide emphatically with those of the 
Three Amigos.

If Joe Parsons wrote this story, the guy would call the girl and 
have a really nice, erotic conversation with her.  It would be a 
truly delightful conversation, but he would later receive a bill 
for $240.

If this were Stephanie's story, the girl would really be a guy who 
just looked like a girl - actually, he would be both a guy and a 
girl.  This would be the first of ? parts to be posted over a 
period of 14 months.  If this were by Estragon, the plot would be 
similar to Stephanie's; but the number of parts would keep 
changing.  If it were by Vickie Tern, the plot would again be 
similar, except that the girl would be a guy who had become a girl 
to please a wife who really wanted a girlfriend with whom she 
could pick up men.  Also, the guy would be a hair stylist rather 
than a library assistant.  In addition, the story would have been 
revised three times since Vickie first posted it yesterday.

If this were written by Shelby Bush, the story would be a parody 
of "Murphy Brown."  The guy would try to return the purse, but 
Murphy would be interviewing Ralph Nader, with whom she is 
secretly in love but cannot get off first base.  I'm unclear on 
the specifics, but somehow during an early part of the story 
Hillary Clinton would become involved in a menage a trois with 
Murphy and Ralph, while the guy watched and masturbated with a 
defective dildo, which Nader would eventually work into a class-
action lawsuit.  Later, Dan Quayle would have trouble spelling the 
plural of dildo and would express the opinion that he was glad he 
studied Latin in high school, in case he wanted to have sex with a 
woman from Latin America.  If this were an Uncle Mike story, it 
would still be a parody of Murphy Brown; but the guy would be a 
blind man whose dog would sodomize Murphy.

Of course, if this were Deirdre's story, the man would return the 
purse, only to find its owner living in an old warehouse that she 
shared with seventeen other women who spent most of their time 
nakedly worshipping a female dom who fucked them anally with a 
large dildo shaped like a snake while their husbands hung by their 
feet from meat hooks and sucked each other's cocks.  Although he 
would be the narrator of the story, the guy would never be seen 
again.

If I wrote the story myself, the guy would return the purse to the 
woman, but she would be a bit of a jerk.  She would leave on a 
date with someone else, but the guy would become attracted to her 
roommate - a socially mature, intelligent person who would discuss 
world politics with him over a banana split, which they would 
share.  After dating for several months, he would propose to her.  
They would engage in heavy petting, but they would not have sexual 
intercourse until the night of their wedding, which would occur in 
a beautiful church in the presence of their fully clothed friends.  
None of their relatives (nor the priest) would have intercourse 
with either of them on their wedding night, but the couple would 
see metaphorical fireworks as they together explored the wonders 
of each other's bodies.

If Dirty Dawg wrote the story, the plot would be similar to mine, 
except that the guy would first treat the girl badly, then realize 
ten years later what he had missed and make it up to her during a 
whirlwind courtship climaxing in tender, multiorgasmic sex.  If 
Frank McCoy or The Bear were the author, the plot would again be 
similar to mine, except that the girl would be much younger - 
probably the guy's daughter.  The Observer's plot would likewise 
be similar to mine; but it would be spread out over about six 
different stories and would have been edited by all the other 
authors mentioned in this review.

If this were a porn movie instead of a short story, the woman 
would be Tori Wells, playing a character named either Eustacia Vye 
or Pussy Galore - both of which names have amazingly appeared in 
the non-censored media (one more amazingly than the other).  The 
college kid would be played by a middle-aged fat guy, perhaps Ron 
Jeremy.  Ron would follow Tori when she left the library, but we 
would never see her again - except on the jacket of the videotape.  
Ron would go through a door into a cheap motel room with a 
beautiful fireplace, where he would have oral sex with a listless 
woman named Randi Cunt, who very well might be the inspiration for 
all those dumb blonde jokes I see on rec.humor, while a 
Scandinavian guy with long blond hair and a black guy with a 
monster cock did a double penetration on her.  The actual action 
would take about three minutes, but clever looping would consume 
fifteen minutes, while Randi said clever things like, "I love your 
big cock" and "Cum on my face."  Indeed, all three men would cum 
externally, and Randi would rub the cum or a mixture of flour and 
water all over her body while she said things like "oooooo!~  

I apologize to all the authors whose works I did not satirize in 
the previous paragraphs - as well as to those whom I did mention.  
{Keep in mind that this is a repost of a previous review, written 
before I even knew that Mike Hunt and several other authors even 
existed.}  The story's actual plot was quite interesting and 
contained elements of several of my proposed story lines.  One of 
Smith's main strengths is his ability to write highly literate and 
realistic stories from many different perspectives.  I find him 
pleasantly difficult to predict.

All I'll add about the plot is that I think it gives a nearly 
perfect treatment of romantic interracial sex.  As I've said 
before, I am a white woman with a black brother-in-law whom I 
really enjoy knowing but who is not reputed to have unusual sexual 
proclivities.  I get tired of reading stories that are labeled 
"interracial" in which black guys with "monster cocks" service 
white women or white guys screw black "sluts."  This story takes a 
completely different (yet sexy and socially responsible) 
perspective on interracial sex. 

I think you'll enjoy reading this story.  I certainly did.

Ratings for "Discovery"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"In/Out Law" by Michael K. Smith (mksmith@metronet.com).  This is 
my kind of short story.  Actually, I have grown to enjoy stories 
that include more unusual forms of sexual activity; but this story 
describes the simpler kinds of events that I like to imagine 
happening in my own life or in the lives of my friends.  Tom has 
been married and divorced, and during this story his sister-in-law 
tells Tom that his brother has been cheating on her.  Instead of 
fucking her brains out right then and there, he tries to help her 
solve the problem and then makes gentle love to her.  Instead of 
having sex with the children, he converses with them and helps 
them do well in school and adjust to the problems of their life.  
Instead of suggesting a sex-change operation, torturing the 
husband and his lover, proposing a threesome or foursome, or 
resorting to mind control, he marries the lady; and they live 
happily ever after.  The author even makes all this boring stuff 
sound interesting and romantic.

Ratings for "In/Out Law"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Neighbors" by Michael K. Smith (mksmith@metronet.com).  Mike 
lusts after Carol from afar - from the house next door, that is.  
He's divorced, and she has recently thrown her husband out; and 
he's beginning to notice more and more how attractive she is.  One 
day he finds an excuse to give her a foot rub.  {Now, you have to 
understand that for some of us foot rubs are a form of either 
masturbation or foreplay.}  He behaves like a perfect gentleman.  
Mike and Carol kiss and neck passionately sans enfuckment and are 
having a good ole time - when Carol's 15-year-old daughter comes 
home early and walks in on them unexpectedly.

I mention this anecdote with the daughter because it demonstrates 
the level of sophistication of the story.  It may be fun to 
fantasize about humping the slutty next door neighbor or gang-
banging the bus driver or inviting the daughter to join in for a 
little incestuous menage a trois; but real life sometimes diverges 
from fantasy.  Adults - and especially parents - have to be 
responsible as well as sexy.  In this instance, Carol leaves Mike 
on the couch, goes to her daughter's room to discuss the matter 
with her, and then rejoins Mike for some more romance.  Some 
readers may find this dull; but I find this kind of stuff to be 
very hot - because it more closely resembles things that I might 
do in what I would like to think is my own, mature, responsible 
life.

Well, actually Carol lets Stephanie watch her making out with 
Mike.  That would go beyond my own limits; but I have to admit 
that I found it to be extremely erotic.  This is another very good 
story.  I enjoyed it immensely.

Last week I criticized an author for the improper balance of 
details - too much irrelevant and too little relevant detail.  
Smith does an excellent job of supplying the right blend of 
details.  At times he seems to be off the subject; but he's really 
setting up the mood for what he wants us to notice next.  This 
story offers a good example of what I am talking about.

Ratings for "Neighbors"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Philly" by Michael K. Smith (mksmith@metronet.com).  This is 
another story rich in details and sentiment and permeated with hot 
sex.  The man meets a much younger girl in the jacuzzi at a hotel 
during a convention, where the atmosphere is such that it is easy 
to have sex in the jacuzzi.  She is a virgin, and he gently 
introduces her to the mysteries of sex.  That's about it!  Of 
course, you should read the story yourself; the author has about 
7,500 more words that make this story well worth reading.

Ratings for "Philly"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Road Trip" by Michael K. Smith (mksmith@metronet.com).  Paul is 
an eighteen-year-old who is ferrying a car from Texas to Florida.  
He picks up a hitchhiker named Paula, a girl about the same age 
who has just left home and is drifting and looking for temporary 
jobs while she seeks her fortune as a singer.  Have you ever 
wondered where the guys in these stories get their uncanny, 
precise estimates of girls' breast sizes?  Well, Paul reads the 
tag that says 34B on the bra she left in the bathroom.  Paul 
behaves like a perfect gentleman, even when he wakes up at 4:30 
a.m. the first night with blond hair (from her head) tickling his 
nose.  To put it in terms familiar to American presidents: he may 
have had lust in his heart, but he sniffed and didn't inhale.  

When she thanks him for not trying anything, he tells her that it 
was hard; and she cuddles up with him, making it harder.  Which 
reminds me of one of the first dirty jokes I actually tried to 
tell when I was much younger.  I had heard it from some older 
kids.  "How does Jackie find Onasis in the dark?"  "I don't know."  
"It's not difficult!"  "<hah! hah! hah - nervously, because she 
didn't want to admit that she didn't get it either>"  Now I get 
it!  Aristotle was old and his cock was limp; and "difficult" 
isn't always a good synonym for "hard."

Anyway, they break the ice on the second evening.  Mouths and 
hands only; but it is still the best shower of his life to that 
point - and the story is not over yet.  Nuff said.  Read the story 
yourself.  It's another good one.

Ratings for "Road Trip"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Seduction" by Michael K. Smith (mksmith@metronet.com).  Here are 
two simple rules of thumb, applicable only to monogamous 
relationships and stated in their most general form.  The first is 
that happily married spouses should not give or receive massages 
to or from scantily-clad in-laws who are staying over while the 
other spouse is gone.  The second is that if he or she breaks the 
first rule, the spouse should terminate the massage as soon as the 
sexual hardware kicks into gear.  A corollary is that the spouse 
should not use phrases like "Let me move this out of the way" in 
any of the above circumstances.

This is a story about a man who breaks both of my rules while 
playing sexual chicken with his sexy sister-in-law who is living 
with them while she finds herself.  There is another rule that 
applies to in-laws who are "finding themselves," but I don't want 
to make this more complicated than it already is.  But once you've 
already broken all these rules, if the in-law asks, "What are you 
doing to me?" I suppose "Nothing you don't secretly want me to do" 
is about as good an answer as any.

Anyway, these people break all my rules and have a fine time doing 
it.  This is a sexy story!

Ratings for "Seduction"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Dyad" by Michael K. Smith (mksmith@metronet.com) Holy shit!  
Right here on a.s.s. I found almost the exact words I had spoken 
barely a month ago to one of my daughters: "Well, I know this 
isn't what you want to hear, but hardly anyone these days actually 
marries the person they fall in love with when they're fifteen."  
Only I said "she's" instead of "they're," which is grammatically 
correct, and "sixteen" instead of "fifteen," which was 
chronologically correct.  Either my husband wrote this story or my 
daughter did so, or my aphorism is actually common knowledge.  
I'll assume for now that the latter is the case.  

Since the author had my interest and my empathy, I became 
concerned when I read, "I knew I could trust him. I always could. 
I used to wish I was his age, that we had met in college or 
something. I would have married him in a minute! Actually, I 
sometimes still wish that."  My reaction was, please, please don't 
go simple-minded and have the father fuck the little girl to "help 
her regain her self confidence."

I breathed a sigh of relief as I read Dad's advice: "I just wanted 
to suggest that you don't have to be in a hurry to find a 
replacement for Joshua. You might want to just do things with your 
buddies for awhile or by yourself. Go out on some ordinary, 
friendly-type dates with no strings attached. I suspect you'll get 
interested in another special boy when you're ready for it." OK! 
<high fives> A sensible father!  

A little later the girl comes home from a date with a new guy - a 
date with petting but without sex; and she unobservedly catches 
her mother and father making love.  This makes her horny, but she 
doesn't jump into bed with them. OK! <more high fives>  Normal 
people!

The story moved on to a father-daughter dinner at a restaurant, 
where she talks to him about sex and love, and he responds 
sensitively.  On the way home she realizes she has made a decision 
to rid herself of her virginal status before morning and she is 
going to do it with the one male in the world whom she trusts 
absolutely - her father.  I paused.  Actually, this was a 
realistic emotion.  Lots of girls have similar feelings, and not 
many of them are followed by "family fun."  I hoped the author 
wouldn't take the simplistic route and have the old man help his 
little girl "grow up" and live happily ever after by jumping into 
with her.

Several paragraphs later, after she had first finished her 
homework, the daughter put on her sexiest nightie and went 
downstairs to seduce Daddy while they watched TV together.  While 
the fantasy in the preceding paragraph is extremely prevalent in 
families with non-asshole fathers, the actual attempt at seduction 
is NOT all that common.  I wasn't sure what was going to happen, 
but I paused to wonder what my husband would do if our daughter 
made a move on him.  The kid was basically saying, "You're a 
wonderful man, and I love you and want to share my first sexual 
experience with you."  I would not expect my husband to call his 
daughter a dirty pervert, but I would also expect him to do 
something other than fuck her.  I think he would probably get a 
hard-on, but then he would gently but firmly push her away, thank 
her for the wonderful compliment, and then have a heart-to-heart 
talk with her.  The talk would be designed to convince her that 
she is a good and wonderful person who has a lot to offer to 
someone in her life but that HE would not be that someone, even 
though he loved her and found her to be extremely attractive, 
because he already had an exclusive sexual relationship with 
someone else (c'est moi) and because the father-daughter 
relationship is based on a different type of love.  I would hope 
that he would be very sensitive about how he expressed himself and 
that he would make sure he didn't give her a feeling of being 
rejected.  I would also hope that he would discuss the matter with 
me later and that he would sublimate his sexual passion by fucking 
my brains out.

Actually, I recall a song by Fred Rogers (of "Mr. Rogers' 
Neighborhood"), which is directed to a little boy who has told his 
mother that he's going to marry her when he grows up.  {Even in 
"normal" families, little boys are likely to say this.  They do so 
because they really like their mothers and/or because they want to 
grow up to be like their fathers.}  Mr. Rogers responds in his 
eloquent song with neat lines like "I'm already married, already 
married; married to your Dad" and assures the child that someday 
he may marry someone like her.  This kiddy song essentially says 
the same thing that I said in the previous paragraph.  You don't 
think.... No!  Fred Rogers simply cannot be posting stories under 
a false name on this newsgroup.  By the way, I think the song is 
on the same cassette as "You Can Never Go Down the Drain."  I miss 
Mr. Rogers and the Gang from Sesame Street!

Back to the story.  I'm not going to tell you what the father and 
daughter do in the story.  The possibilities range from doing it 
my way to joining the Incest Club to something in between.  You'll 
have to read the story to see what the author decided.  Of course, 
you could try to guess the ending from my ratings; but hey, I'm 
broadminded enough to give a high rating to a good story that 
doesn't do things my way.

Ratings for "Dyad"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

 "Trinity Trilogy Novel" by Tom Trinity (stbush@iglou.com).  
{Note: The Trinity Trilogy Novel has been reposted on a.s.s.m.  I 
can't repost all the reviews in this issue, and so I am going to 
repost the review of the final chapters. This review includes a 
summary evaluation of the entire series.}

As we near the end of the Trinity Trilogy Odyssey, I am willing to 
accept the editor's assertion that it is true that a group of 
three woman and one man could share each other's affections with 
one another and with outsiders and joyfully fuck their mutual 
brains out without any difficulties arising from possessiveness or 
jealousy.  I am also willing to accept the notion that the 
daughter of this unorthodox but happy relationship would be sound 
asleep or fortuitously absent often enough for these good times to 
take place without causing unseemly scandal to her.  Where I 
encountered problems was with the following conversation between 
Tom and Jennifer:

"Daddy, may I ask you something?"

"Of course, Sugar."

"Is there REALLY a Santa Claus?"

I glanced over at her and smiled.  I recalled some of the elaborate ploys we
had used in the past.  Among the four of us, we had generally reinforced
Jennifer's belief in Santa.

"Sugar, of course Santa's real."

"But the kids at school..."

"Never mind the kids at school.  You've read the stories, what do you think?"

She frowned in thought, then her eyes sparkled.  "I think that it's magic.
If you believe in magic, it works.  If you don't, it doesn't work."

"I think you've got it exactly right, Sugar.  If you believe in Santa, he's
real.  Those kids who don't believe -- their parents have to buy all their
Christmas gifts."

"Does Santa buy Christmas gifts?"

"Sometimes.  If the elves can't make them.  There are copyright problems,
sometimes."

She laughed.  She turned the volume back up on the tape player, and sang
along with Karen Carpenter.

"Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near..."

* * *

I know what you're thinking - What kind of parent would let his 
child listen to Karen Carpenter in 1994?  But that's not my 
problem.  Unless I have miscounted, Jennifer is 13 years old - and 
she still believes in Santa Claus?  I don't think even the direct 
and legitimate offspring of Mr. and Mrs. Claus themselves believe 
in Santa at that age!  Since this is a sex story, not a Christmas 
story, I'll let it slide.  But that bit of unreality just before 
the First Orgy in Pittsburgh certainly disrupted my ambiance.

Speaking of Pittsburgh - if you ever get to that city, go up the 
incline across from the stadium at the confluence of the Three 
Rivers.  There are some great restaurants up there; and if you 
look around you might find a nice hotel with a balcony on which my 
husband and I discovered that Pittsburgh's reputation as an over-
industrialized, unromantic place is just plain inaccurate.

This first half of this final segment is heavy on sentiment - 
Christmas with the Trilogy and things like that.  For one 
interesting Christmas present Tom receives issues of Playboy, 
Penthouse, and Hustler with the girls dubbed in as centerfolds.  I 
have a truth-is-better-than-fiction story related to that present.  
A few weeks ago our volleyball team gathered at a pizza place 
after our game.  One of the other ladies somehow managed to get 
the conversation around to Bruce Willis, and I commented that he 
"wasn't my type of guy."  She quickly reached into her purse, 
pulled out a color photograph, flung it on the table in front of 
us, and snarled, "Then how do you explain this?"  There I was, 
stark naked, doing the wild thing with Bruce Willis!  I assure you 
that Bruce and I have never met.  My friend is a computer graphics 
genius.  She had simply obtained a picture of me, a picture of 
Willis from People or some such magazine, and a picture of a 
couple making the sign of the eight-legged aardvark from a porn 
magazine.  Then she scanned all three, combined them, and touched 
them up.  After seeing that picture, I no longer understand how 
photographs can be accepted as evidence in courts of law!  I was 
lucky.  I had been scheduled to have Dennis Rodman for my partner, 
but his body art was "too much trouble" to work with.  One of my 
teammates was "photographed" doing it with Jenny McCarthy.

The final half of this segment goes into interesting but largely 
non-sexy details that attempt to bring closure to the story.  
However, the story doesn't really end.  I get the impression that 
there may be more yet to come.

A summative comment on the entire series seems to be in order.  
The outstanding characteristic of this series is that the stories 
are optimistic about life and about sexual activities.  The people 
in this series have fun, and nobody gets hurt by their sexual 
adventures.  The author and editor are a bit preoccupied with 
asserting that these stories are authentic - that these events 
really happened to real people.  I really don't care.  The stories 
come across to me as optimistically realistic, and I like that.

I have a value system that tells me I should lead my life a little 
differently than these people do.  I get the feeling that these 
people would tell me that's fine with them: they would go to sci-
fi conventions and fuck their brains out, and I could sit at my 
computer and read about their escapades and review their stories 
and we could all be friends.  It was a pleasure to read and review 
this high-quality series of stories.

Ratings for "Trinity Trilogy Novel"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

