Celestial Reviews 23 - Sept 27, 1995

Note:  I apologize to readers whose stories I am unable to review.  There are 
just way to many stories posted for me to review them all.  I give priority to 
the stories that people send to me personally plus the ones I think readers 
want me to review (e.g., those by major writers whom I regularly review). I am 
especially interested in reviewing the work of *new* authors, since they often 
appreciate and benefit from the comments. If you e-mail me a copy of your 
story, I'll try to review it (although I cannot guarantee even this).  If 
necessary, you can repost the story when the review is posted.  Remember, I'm 
doing this job for free.  I enjoy it, but I have Regular Life too.

- Celeste

      "Great America" by Tina Simone (young teen ff sex) 4
      "Dunes" by Deirdre (group sex) 10
      "Gunplay at the Texas Trail" by Red Dragon (celebrity sex
           in the American West) 5
      "Helping Paws" by Didjeridoo (fairy tale sex) 8
      "Back" by Deirdre (anal sex) 9
      "I Meet Toni's Mom" by Anonymous (female
           domination) 10

"Great America" by Tina Simone (tsr@aimnet.com).  (The story was titled 
"Great America" but posted as "Colorguard."  Three members of a 
colorguard are sharing a room together while their group is performing 
at an amusement park.  While they are alone in their motel room, they 
explore one another's bodies and have lots of fun.  The idea of young 
teenagers doing this sounds exciting, but the story is extremely 
rushed.  It's all one paragraph with numerous punctuation marks 
omitted.  I guess there's some appeal to just rushing a story off, but 
I would think that if the author expected someone else to read it she 
would take the time to organize and present her ideas a little more 
effectively.  (Rating: 4)

"Dunes" by Deirdre (an65862@anon.penet.fi).  A beautiful woman catches 
the attention of two men on the beach.  Both are heterosexual, and one 
of them is married (or at least in a permanent relationship with a 
woman).  The goddess draws them to a secluded area and then offers to 
have sex with them if she can first watch them having sex with each 
other.  What will they do?  How will this affect the man's relationship 
with his wife/lover?  This is a strange but fascinating story by 
Deirdre, who was Sherwood Anderson in a former life.  (Rating: 10)

"Gunplay at the Texas Trail" by Red Dragon (redragon@interserv.com).  
Ever since I was old enough to know why cowboys liked dance hall girls, 
I have wondered why Matt Dillon didn't get together sexually with Miss 
Kitty.  This story tries to answer that question; but it hardly gets 
off the ground before it stops.  This isn't a bad story; it just lacks 
complete development and proofreading.  (Rating: 5)

"Helping Paws" by Didjeridoo (didjeridoo@teamhbbs.com).  A woman and 
her husband are having trouble getting pregnant.  The furry children's 
creature Totoro has extremely pleasant sex with her in his own den.  
Voila!  A beautiful baby ensues!  I'm not a Totoro expert, but this 
quaint, short tale sounded pretty good to me.  (Rating: 8)

"Back" by Deirdre (an65862@anon.penet.fi). A woman tells her husband 
that she has been unfaithful to him a single time by having anal sex 
with an instructor at the spa.  The man goes to confront the 
instructor.  Since one of the great strengths of Deirdre's stories is 
the unusual twists in the plot, I can tell you no more.  Incidentally, 
I mistakenly stated in an earlier review that this current surge of 
stories by Deirdre consisted of reposts.  That was incorrect.  These 
are all new stories, and they are all worth adding to your collection.  
(Rating: 9)

"I Meet Toni's Mom" by Estragon. (an356608@anon.penet.fi).  A young man 
is strongly attracted to a beautiful young woman; but when he tries to 
make love to her, she explains to him that this is not the way her 
mother taught her to do it.  She explains that the purpose of men's 
existence is to please and serve women.  They guy eagerly accepts this 
theory, and soon he earns (as well as a mere man can earn anything) the 
privilege of a visit to Mom, who begins his advanced training in 
submissiveness.  There is very little actual sex in this story, and 
what sex there is is not sexy in the way I am accustomed to feeling 
turned on; but it's nonetheless very interesting.

Overall, the story resembles a fictionalized version of a feminist 
philosophical tract.  To wit: "I mean, look at your testicles. With hardly an 
effort, a woman can cause them excruciating pain. They say you're only as 
strong as your weakest link. Links don't come any weaker than a man's balls. 
So what do you men do? You make your testicles your symbol of power, your sign 
of virility. I admit it, it takes balls to do a thing like that."  And later: 
"A penis and testicles have little to recommend them aesthetically. They're 
tools and that's it. Women's tools, but stored on {men's} bodies because 
women's bodies are too beautiful to be cluttered with such things."

I personally don't buy the idea of the Superiority of Women - I'm 
willing to settle for equality; but throughout history subjugated 
groups have found it necessary to exaggerate their status or idealize 
their group in order to counter the second-class status to which they 
are subjected in real-life.  (The Black power movement in America is 
another example.  I doubt that Louis Farakan or Malcolm X and their 
followers really believe that Blacks are superior to whites.  But the 
myth of superiority is an important component of asserting equality.)  
The previous sentences were philosophy; the present story is fiction.  
It does a good job of conveying the feeling that maybe women are at the 
center of the universe and men should be happy to spend their time 
serving women.  Again, in real life I reject this notion; but by 
keeping it there in the back of my mind, I feel secure in automatically 
rejecting the dominant assertion that men are at the pinnacle of 
Western society.  My impression is that lots of women who in real life 
have happy and reciprocally equal relationships with their husbands 
feel the same way I do about this and therefore enjoy stories like 
this.

I myself find it a lot easier to identify with this story than with one 
in which the woman is the submissive person.  This is because I see a 
value in overreacting against oppression that is not present in 
succumbing to oppression.  Ooops - too much philosophy again.  But what 
do I know?  I'm only a woman.

I felt that the main strength of the story was that it was uproariously 
funny - with a strong serious undertone.  The mother and daughter who 
dominate the men in their lives do it casually and naturally, and the 
boys and men being dominated think their submission is perfectly 
acceptable - the most natural thing in the world.

The story reminded me in many ways of the Greek drama Lysistrata, an 
antiwar play by Aristophanes, in which the women of Greece put an end 
to the Peloponnesian War by denying the men fighting it their sexual 
favors.. In both cases, the plot is simple, the language sometimes 
coarse, and the situations often hilarious; yet they both make a 
powerful philosophical statement.

The only minor problem with the story were the occasional but 
irritating typographical errors.  They're not awful - just annoying 
distractions in an otherwise excellent story.  Almost all of these 
could have been eliminated by simply running a spellcheck or 
proofreading the thing.  The author should simply find a man or boy and 
tell him he can't have his orgasm until he proofreads the manuscript 
properly.  Actually, this proves that the author is a male.  A *female* 
author would have thought of this; but (as we can infer from this 
story) male authors generally spend their time either contemplating 
their pitifully small genitals or taking false pride in the orgasms 
they assume female readers will have while reading their stories.  

I think women (even those who like men) will greatly enjoy this story. 
I would be interested in hearing what male readers think of it.  I 
assume that all but the most impotent and insecure men will enjoy it as 
well.  (Rating: 10)

TIP OF THE WEEK:  (In each issue of Celestial Reviews I plan to list 
one of the guidelines from Celestial Grammar, which I am posting on alt 
sex.stories.d.  My theory is that if all of these tips were followed, 
about 95% of the really distracting errors in a.s.s. stories would be 
eliminated.  I was going to name this part of the column TIP OF THE 
{something else}, but I though the innuendo might detract from the 
sober serious business at hand.)

APOSTROPES.  Don't make a noun plural by adding apostrophe-s ('s).  
This rule applies to all nouns -  including proper nouns. 

      (The plural of Smith is Smiths, not Smith's.)

The purpose of an apostrophe with a noun is to show possession.  

     Example:  "Sue's pussy" means the pussy that belongs to Sue (at 
least until she gives it to someone else).

Some confusion arises when you use plurals with apostrophes.  For 
example, the "Smiths' orgy" refers to the orgy held by Mr. and Mrs. 
Smith.  In this case, write the plural (with the s) and just add the 
apostrophe (without another s).

It can get a little more complicated than this, but we don't want to 
write a grammar book here.
