Celestial Reviews 69 - Mar 13, 1996

Note:  I am now using a rating system, which gives each story three 
discrete ratings.  These are explained in more detail in my FAQ, but 
here is a summary.

Athena Rating.  This rating covers such matters as grammar, spelling, 
formatting, and creative use of the language.  A story with essentially 
no serious grammar, spelling, or usage problems will receive a rating 
of 8.  To get a rating of 9 or 10, the author will have to do something 
creative with the language.  

Venus Rating.  This rating describes such matters as plot and character 
development.  

Celeste Rating.  This rating describes how much I myself liked the 
story.  

Second Note:  A critic recently posted a comment entitled "Reviewing 
Celestial Reviews."  He was critical of my dislike for mindless sexual 
violence.  He referred to the stories I review (or at least those which 
I like) as "plain vanilla sex."  The critique was well written, and he 
may be right in his view that it may be valuable to explore the nature 
of sexual violence for its own sake.

I want to say two things in reply.  First, I'm not sure that plain 
vanilla is the right term for the stories I like.  I mean, I have 
recently given high ratings to stories by Deirdre, Wollstonecraft, and 
Deidre Ng (to name just a few).  Are these plain vanilla?  Plain 
vanilla probably describes to my own sex life, where I engage in really 
loving sex with this really nice guy that I have loved for a really 
long time.  We even close the bedroom door and don't invite the 
children to join us.  I recommend plain vanilla, but my fantasies and 
the stories I enjoy are at least hot chocolate.

Second, I do agree that there can be more purposes to a good sex story 
than romance or turn-on fantasies.  I do NOT think that all erotic 
stories should necessarily lead directly to an orgasm.  To digress 
slightly for just one sentence - I personally believe that there is 
meaning to life; but in the world of non-sex novels I really enjoy the 
French existentialist novelists like Camus whose novels dramatize the 
notion that life is meaningless.  In the same way, I think it is 
reasonable to expect that there would be good stories whose perspective 
or world view regarding sex differs from my own.  I think the 
introductory scene from the movie "A Clockwork Orange" was absolutely 
outstanding; I can no longer watch the movie "Singing in the Rain" (or 
even hear the song) without thinking of it.  If I would review "A 
Clockwork Orange" as a sex story, I would rate it 10, 10, 10.  

The trouble is that many of the stories that I have seen on a.s.s. that 
approach violent sex are simply simpleminded stories with plots that go 
like this:  Man (or gang of men) rape (and/or torture) woman.  Men have 
great time displaying cruelty and ingenuity.  Woman feels bad at first 
but eventually has great time and begs for more.  I admit that I have 
stated that women who respond this way have emotional problems.  If 
this is a "bias," I confess to it.  But an awful lot of people would 
agree with my assessment.

Note that I HAVE given high ratings to sexually violent stories - when 
there is a sensible logic behind the violence or when the story is well 
written.  Maybe I am naive, but I consider some of Deirdre's and 
Wollstonecraft's stories to be violent; and I have given those stories 
high ratings.  I have repeatedly used the example of Poe's "Telltale 
Heart" - a story that describes in graphic detail something I find 
distasteful but nonetheless is a great story.  And incidentally, I do 
think some of Poe's characters had emotional problems - and that's 
putting it mildly.

Part of my "bias" occurs because I tend to read mostly stories that are 
sent to me or those whose titles attract me as I glance through the 
postings.  I'll try to be fair to the more violent stories; and it 
seems likely that my "tripartite" ratings may enable me to be more 
objective.

- Celeste

      "Desire" by Deirdre (anal sex & spouse watching) 10, 10, 7
      "Plan" by Deirdre (bondage) 9, 8, 6
      "Stars" by Deirdre (ff adolescent attraction) 10, 9, 9
      "Bird Watching in French Lick" by M.M. Twassel (romance)
            10, 8, 8
      "Fresh Air and Exercise" by Mark Aster (sex in the
            great outdoors) 10, 8, 8
      "Aurora Drake" by Mark Aster (hot sex in a mansion)
            10, 9, 9
      "Dream Come True" by T. Jones (cybersex) 7, 8, 7
      "Captured" by TorTress (torture) 10, 10, 9.5
      "To Boldly Go" by The Krazmeister (sci fi sex) 4, 4, 3
      "How I Met Pat and Julie" by Mark Aster (hot threesome)
            10, 10, 10
      "The Neighborhood" by Hardy Har (adolescent sex binge)
            7, 7, 7

Desire" by Deirdre.  Deirdre's back!  I thought I had reviewed all of 
her stories, but then I discovered five that I had not reviewed.  They 
will be reposted around the time this review appears.  This first story 
is about a woman who comes home hot with desire for her husband and 
discovers him having anal sex with the guy next door.  How will this 
affect their relationship?  Will everything come out all right in the 
end <groan>?  This story works itself to an interesting conclusion.

Ratings for "Desire"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7

"Plan" by Deirdre.  Here we have a really shy, plain woman who suspects 
that others are into what she calls "kinky sex," and she longs to be 
like them.  She eventually works herself up to reading books and 
watching videos that contain the kind of sex she thinks about.  You'll 
have to read the story to see how she eventually gets what she wants.  
There's an awful lot of build-up to a very short climax in this story.  
Not that that's bad - I just thought you might want to be warned.

Ratings for "Plan"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6

"Stars" by Deirdre. The high school girl has to wait around for her 
friend at a party where everyone is pairing off - er, grouping off - 
for sexual fun and games. She is shocked to see one of her favorite 
female teachers from the high school having a good time at the party.  
Eventually she gets drafted to drive the teacher home; the teacher 
makes a pass at her. The girl passes on the pass - and wonders what 
might have been.  But wait!  It's the ole story-within-a-story trick!  
The tale I just summarized is actually a short story written by a young 
high school girl who has a crush on her female English teacher; and she 
has just shown the story to the teacher; and she's hoping that her 
feelings will be reciprocated.  

This was a creative story.  My only problem is that I could not figure 
out why it was entitled "Stars."  I ran a search for "star" in the 
story, and I found that the word appeared five times embedded in the 
word "start" and four times as part of "stare."  It also appeared twice 
as in starlight; so I guess that's the significance of the title.  
Maybe the title was a decoy: "Story" would have been a giveaway; and 
"Teacher" was already the name of another Deirdre story.  Ignore the 
title; just check this one out!

This story also specifically raises the question whether everybody's a 
little bit bisexual; but after the reaction I got last time I raised 
that question, I'm not going to touch that one with a 10-foot dildo!

Ratings for "Stars"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

"Bird Watching in French Lick" by M.M. Twassel (WEGalen@aol.com).  
Ann's father is worried about the love life of his daughter and her 
husband.  Rob is a lawyer and a runner, and he sometimes puts his 
marriage on the back burner.  Dad arranges for them to take a second 
honeymoon at French Lick, the home of Larry Bird, the best basketball 
player since Michael Jackson.  Meanwhile, Ann worries about her aging 
parent.  The story is more a slice of life than a sex story - although 
sex does play an important role, especially in the ending.  In fact, 
I'll tell you the last few words of the story, and you still won't have 
even the slightest chance to guess the ending:

      "Oh, Rick," I thought, "I do love you."  Then I finished 
       him off.

Even after you finish the story, you'll have to pause and think what 
those words mean. And even then, you may not be certain.  Personally, I 
think the narrator bit off more than she could chew.

This was a good story, but it rambled a little too much for my tastes.  
I would have liked to have seen it tightened up a little - it needed 
more focus; there were too many loose threads in it.

There are a few things we need to get straight.  First, Celeste is a 
fine name - even for a cat; but naming your cat Celeste and referring 
to it as a sex kitten will not necessarily get you a high rating for 
your story.  Second, running for an hour or so a day does not 
necessarily detract from the male libido; in fact, it can develop 
really nice buttocks and leg muscles that wrap very nicely around their 
female counterparts.  One of the best ways to deal with male runners is 
to join them. Even if you run in the middle of the pack in a 10K race, 
the scenery can be pretty nice - depending on whom you're running 
behind.  Third, do you know what you call two lawyers tied together to 
a heavy rock at the bottom of a lake?  A good start.

Ratings for ""Bird Watching in French Lick"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8

"Fresh Air and Exercise" by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com).  Some 
readers have commented to me that they are impressed that I can turn 
out two lengthy sets of reviews each week.  Actually, my job is not all 
that hard - as long as I can find the time to read the stories.  Good 
stories trigger a reaction in me that makes it easy for me to say 
something interesting.  As I have grown accustomed to the job, I have 
let more of myself flow into my reviews; and I think readers enjoy 
this.  And even bad stories trigger a reaction of some sort.  So my 
main burden is meeting a deadline.

The people that really impress me are the authors who come up with 
really creative ideas.  Up to a month ago, for example, I had never 
heard of Mark Aster.  Then one day he sent me a story, which (as I 
recall) I rated a "5."  Since then I have received more stories at the 
rate of 2 to 4 a week.  I realize that he's working from a bit of a 
backlog - but my question is, where does he get all these creative 
ideas?  Maybe people who can do this just have a hot sex life - or 
fantasize a lot while they masturbate.

The last time I left Our Hero and the Allen Sisters, they had just 
crashed after a bad drug trip accompanied by some grotesque sex.  Here 
they clean it all out of their system with some good clean rapture in 
the great outdoors.  If you've never read one of this author's stories 
before, you'll perhaps be more impressed than I was with this one.  
This is by no means a bad story; it's clearly written, but there's 
really little plot to it - just two sexy young ladies and a healthy 
stud fucking their brains out during a camping trip.

Ratings for "Fresh Air and Exercise"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8

"Aurora Drake" by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com).  The author sent me 
this and the previous story with the comment that he wanted to "get 
them out of the way" before he got along to the next six, which he 
really liked.  That comment made me initially apprehensive, but then I 
was drawn to this story by its title.  You see, I once used the name 
Aurora for an anonymous activity that is not directly related to a full 
sexual climax on my own part - and which, therefore, I shall not 
describe to you at this time.  I chose the name primarily because the 
week before my escapade I had come across the name Aurora O'Rourke in 
the engagement section of a newspaper.  Why would parents give their 
beautiful daughter a name like that?  For me the name evoked the sound 
of a really loud fart in the bath tub.  I apologize to Ms. O'Rourke for 
making this information public; but if she reads this comment, I hope 
it encourages her to stay married to and to retain the last name of 
whomever it was that she married.

Anyway, I was drawn to this story and was not disappointed.  It's a hot 
description of a casual encounter between the beautiful and eponymous 
Aurora Drake and our genteel stud who plays her furry fiddle and tempts 
her tummy with the taste of nuts and honey.  Aurora is completely in 
control; but then Our Hero is most in control when he is under the 
control of a beautiful woman.  This story is well written, and the 
banter between the protagonists combines with the atmosphere created by 
the author to give us a really good story.

Ratings for "Aurora Drake"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

"Dream Come True" by T. Jones (TJones5814).  A woman is typing a 
message to her cyberlover, when suddenly he is present in the room with 
her, doing the things to her that he has been promising through 
cyberspace.  The author adopts the style employed by many Internet 
users - all lower-case letters, lots of ellipses, short choppy 
sentences, etc.  In fact, my impression is that this story probably 
originated as an e-mail exchange between two people on the Internet and 
has been posted as a story with little revision.  More revision would 
have been helpful.  The text is filled with numerous irritating 
mistakes - such as omitted punctuation and irrational changes in 
spelling between cum and come (probably because each of the two authors 
chose a different spelling).  These errors add nothing to the 
verisimilitude of the presentation, and they are likely to distract 
many readers.  Nonetheless, this is still a sexy story.  If I would 
have received this message personally from a romantic 'Net companion, I 
certainly would be properly fascinated and responsive.  It just needs 
to be touched up for a wider audience.

Ratings for "Dream Come True"
Athena (technical quality): 7
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7


"Captured" by TorTress (tortress@aol.com).  The person who reposted 
this story reprinted the complete text of the e-mail message that I 
discussed in my second note at the beginning of these reviews.  Then 
he/she presented this short, violent story and asked, "What would 
Celeste think of this story?"  I guess I should answer that question.

First, except for a few proofreading errors, this story is well 
written.  I am not going to pick on a story just because the author 
uses "throws" instead of "throes of orgasm."  Note, however, that 
peccadillos like this tend to accumulate.  This error was, in fact, 
distracting; and I think the author herself/himself would prefer to 
eliminate it, now that I have mentioned it.  If there were a large 
number of such mistakes or if the story were defective for other 
reasons, then errors like this would take on greater significance.  As 
it is, this kind of error was a minor distraction in an otherwise well-
written story.  It's no big deal, and I mention it only because I am 
discussing this story in detail.

I'll use a question-and-answer format to deal with my reaction to the 
content of the story.

1.  Is this a sexually violent story?  Yes.  I assume it would be 
possible to be more violent, but I hope this is not what we would 
consider "plain vanilla sex."

2.  Does this represent *gratuitous* sexual violence?  No. The violence 
actually contributes to a sensible plot.  I have seen or read numerous 
stories about people torturing captives to obtain secret information.  
I think it is reasonable to believe that sometimes women agents are 
tortured in sexual ways - just as I assume men have their genitals 
attacked by their evil captors.

3.  Should little children read this story?  No.  Little children have 
a right to grow up free from this crap.  By "crap" I mean excessive 
torture of human beings, not the story.  I don't have clinical data in 
front of me, but I think there is ample scientific evidence to suggest 
that children who witness this kind of activity very often have really 
serious emotional problems during the rest of their lives. I think the 
vicarious experience (reading a story or viewing a video) would have a 
weaker impact than a direct experience; but either would be harmful to 
a child.  I think parents or guardians of children would be remiss to 
read this to their children as a bedtime story or even to leave it 
around where their kids would be likely to read it.

3.  Should adolescents read this story?  No.  But read this whole 
answer to clarify what I mean by no.  I think it is desirable that 
adolescents approach their own initial sexual experiences with an 
expectation that sexual activity can be a powerful means to express 
love and to communicate feelings to a partner.  I think that when 
adolescents approach their own initial sexual experiences with the 
expectation that sex is a purely physiological activity that is often 
used to torture someone they are likely to have emotional problems.  I 
cannot free the world from all its emotional problems; but I think 
parents (and society) have a right (perhaps a responsibility) to lessen 
rather than increase the possibility that adolescents will wind up in 
dysfunctional relationships.

Of course, the problem is that not all adolescents are as "innocent" as 
others.  Certainly there are members of street gangs or messed-up 
families who routinely witness this kind of activity in their real 
lives; and so it would be unlikely that a piece of fiction would 
traumatize them further.  Nevertheless, I think the notion that this 
kind of story will do no harm to adolescents is itself naive.

Let me point out, however, that I WOULD be willing to use this story as 
a reading selection in a class of adolescents, if I were permitted to 
do so.  This may sound like I am contradicting what I said previously, 
but I don't think so.  I think this story presents graphic aspects of 
reality from which we should take reasonable precautions to shield 
children.  However, adolescents do not suddenly become adults on the 
day they "become of age" or any other day; maturation is a gradual 
process.  Discussing a well written story like this under sensible 
supervision could be a growth experience for young people.

Adolescents are aware that sexual violence occurs.  Years ago, I 
overheard my daughter and her friends discussing one of the Star Wars 
movies: "If a pervert like the Emperor captured Princess Leia, don't 
you think he would at least rape her?"  Of course he would.  I think it 
was a sensible decision to omit the rape and torture from Star Wars - 
just like it was sensible to do all the other unrealistic stuff that 
made those shows great.

In short, I see a problem in letting adolescents have access to a story 
like this; but the nature of the problem depends on the specific 
personality and background of specific adolescents.  The problem is 
further compounded by the notion that many adolescents will believe 
themselves to be "more mature" if they can "handle" this kind of story.  
That's bullshit.

The proper way to deal with this kind of story is to take normal 
precautions already available in most jurisdictions to avoid 
broadcasting this kind of story to adolescents.  However, the most 
important part of the solution is to offer young people realistic 
stories and information that will enable them to develop wholesome 
(sensible) insights into sexuality.  Either treating all sex stories as 
"pornography" or grouping this well-written story with mindless drivel 
is likely to cause many more problems than such a strategy would solve.

4.  Should adults read this story?  Of course they should, if they want 
to; but it is important to recall that many adults have levels of 
emotional maturity far below those of young adolescents.  However, 
people like that are not the sort who would be reading this essay in 
the first place.

5.  Did Celeste enjoy this story?  Yes and no.  I DID enjoy it because 
I expected it to be some godawful crap that would nauseate me.  
Instead, I found a well-written but graphic story that held my interest 
and made me wonder what it would feel like to have that happen to me.  
Like many people, I tend to skip the stories that are labeled "torture" 
in the title lines.  One of the values of my reviews is that they 
convey more information than can be found in the alphabet soup in the 
title lines of the stories.  In the present case, potential readers 
know that this is a literate story with a plot and can distinguish it 
from some other stories labeled "rape & tor'; and that might help them 
decide whether they want to read it.

I might NOT have enjoyed the story under different circumstances.  I 
feel that there's a lot of garbage going on in the world.  I put up 
with a lot of shit everyday in my real life; and when I sit down to 
read a story, I think I have a right to focus on enjoying life rather 
than taking a closer look at its dark side.  Am I doing a Polyanna 
routine?  I think you'd have to know more about the rest of my life to 
make that judgment.  The fact is, I spend a lot of my time working 
(through my church, oddly enough) with persons who have been sexually 
abused.  I often deal directly with the effects of "the dark side of 
sex" and still manage to maintain an optimistic attitude.  I don't 
think this is a Polyanna routine.

I saw two movies recently: "Leaving Las Vegas" and "Up Close and 
Personal."  The former will probably win several Academy Awards; the 
latter probably will not.  I disliked "Leaving Las Vegas"; and I think 
I have a right to do so.  My husband and I left that show with a 
feeling of tension that would not go away.  I had nightmares that 
night.  I don't like nightmares.  (On the other hand, I now have a 
better understanding of some alcoholics and prostitutes and of the 
mutually beneficial relationships that might occur between them.)  When 
we left "Up Close and Personal," we flirted all the way home and I had 
much happier dreams - to say the least.  I honestly do believe that 
movie critics are giving us a snow job when they tell us that "Las 
Vegas" is better than "Up Close"; but for now I am willing to defer to 
their expertise.

For me, "Leaving Las Vegas" and the present story are like good 
textbook chapters on abnormal psychology.  If I could read or watch 
them instead of reading a boring, technical presentation, then I would 
love them.  In addition, sometimes I need to expand my horizons - to do 
something that will enable me to understand those aspects of life I 
would normally not encounter (that I would even *prefer* not to 
encounter).  Really serious and even morbid stories (like Hamlet, 
Macbeth, and this story) are what I need in such situations.   But if I 
am looking for enjoyment, then I would rather read something else.  
There's room in life for both.

Overall, if I am personally going to come to a better understanding of 
what it feels like to be raped and tortured by a perverted enemy who is 
determined to extract security secrets from me, I would rather read 
about it than experience it directly.  This story performs that service 
for me, and so I like it.

6.  What really bothers Celeste about stories like this?  What really 
bothers me is the fact that I know there are readers out there who grab 
a story like this and say to themselves, "Wouldn't it be cool to do 
this to a chick?!"  That's not the author's fault; but it still 
happens, and it annoys the hell out of me.  However, I should point out 
that only fairly stupid readers or those who already have emotional 
problems would be likely to react that way to this story.  If the story 
portrayed the victim as deciding that rape was really fun, then the 
story would be more problematic.  The reason I gave this story a high 
rating was because it was both graphic and realistic.

7.  The woman had an orgasm.  She enjoyed being raped, didn't she?  An 
orgasm is a physiological reaction.  As I read this story, I thought 
the orgasm was treated realistically.  The woman considered her orgasm 
to be part of her humiliation; that's an irrational but typical 
reaction as I understand it.  (I am not arguing that this would be the 
*only* realistic reaction.)  If the woman would later consult a 
therapist, that person would try to help her understand her emotions 
more clearly. 

7.  What if the woman WOULD have *enjoyed* the rape?  What if the woman 
(a secret agent of some kind) later told a friend, "What I really like 
about this work is that I get raped by some really great guys"?  Most 
of the stories that give this impression are bad stories, because they 
do not ring true. However, it would be possible to write a good story 
about a woman who *liked* to get raped and tortured.  I would probably 
say I liked the story but would refer to this person as being 
dysfunctional or having emotional problems.  I don't see a problem with 
that.  It's possible to have a good story about an abnormal person (as 
in Poe's "Telltale Heart").  My objection is that lots of authors 
present this as the *typical* reaction to rape and torture; and that's 
simply not realistic - without further explanation.

8.  Does Celeste advocate "plain vanilla" sex stories?  I really don't 
think so.  I do admit that I tend to read more stories that are 
romantic or designed to arouse the reader; but this is a personal 
preference that I discuss in my FAQ.  If you look back over all my 
reviews, you'll see that I give some very high ratings to stories that 
are much like the one I am reviewing now. For example, I rated "The 
Final Mission" by Spook as the Number 13 story of 1995; and that story 
included a lot of sexual violence that contributed effectively to the 
story.  More recently, I rated Dafny Dewitt's "Spare Change" among the 
Top 15 Stories for January - even though that story literally almost 
made me gag.

I AM rough on stories that I consider to be stupidly cruel or violent.  
I don't regard my contempt for such stories as an improper bias.  I 
THINK I am equally harsh on the stories that depict people as fucking 
merrily away to no apparent purpose (e.g., sex all night with 100 
strangers, all of whom have 12-inchers and give the young lady a 
roaring orgasm each time).  At least I'll try to be objective.

Ratings for "Captured"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5

"How I Met Pat and Julie" by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com). "The 
younger of the Allen sisters soaped my stomach and thighs with a warm 
washcloth while the elder, lying naked on the bed, masturbated lazily 
with a blue dildo, and told erotic stories in between orgasms.  My cock 
had been hard in a relaxed comfortable way for some time, and the 
gentle rubbing of the rough wet cloth on my thighs and balls was 
driving me slowly crazy."  So starts the pilot episode of Mark Aster's 
"My Friends the Allens".

The "Allen Sister" stories are loosely connected.  I understand there 
are now about 20 of them.  There is every indication that there will be 
at least 20 more.  I hope so.  The combined stories do not add up to a 
novel; the best comparison I can make is a sitcom.  But since the 
stories are predominantly erotic rather than funny, perhaps a better 
analogy would be a porno version of an American soap opera.  What I 
mean by this is that readers can start at any point in the series and 
even skip episodes without losing the continuity of the story.  While 
doing so, readers can still enjoy both each separate story and the 
combined series, while developing a sort of friendship with the 
characters.

The unnamed Hero/Narrator of these stories is a typical soap stud.  If 
he lived in Salem or Aramid, he would be John Black or Bo Brady; but 
instead of having two middle aged women fighting over his favors or 
wrestling over which bride he should keep, our Hero is resigned to the 
quiet existence of servicing his two lovely friends, while the three of 
them unselfishly extend their favors into the world around them.  While 
John and Bo frown a lot, Our Hero groans even more.  Like John, he has 
no obvious means of earning a living; he just accompanies the girls to 
expensive resorts or attends parties at exclusive mansions and 
pleasantly groans and reciprocates ad infinitum.  He is pleasantly 
insatiable, the kind of boytoy that even Madonna and her Evil Twin 
working as a tag team could not exhaust.

Logically, I should have read this story first in the series; but I 
didn't know it existed until now.  Finding it was like coming across 
the pilot story for a sitcom I had grown to love.  The Friendly 
Threesome were quite at home in my mind's eye as they fucked and sucked 
their way through this initial episode.  It's a really hot one.  
Somehow I'm glad I read it out of order; it was almost as much fun as 
the time I found the John Black FAQ on the World Wide Web.

Ratings for "How I Met Pat and Julie"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"The Neighborhood" by Hardy Har (harhar@ucla.edu).  Mom and Dad are 
away and Jeff must play.  The nextdoor neighbor is a real turn-on.  
Jeff quickly progresses from fantasies and masturbation to full-contact 
fun and games.  It turns out Mrs. Bauer is the neighborhood Lothario - 
a word I have been trying to use for at least 15 years and which 
doesn't quite fit here because it usually refers to a man who carries 
on with women; but what the hell - Mrs. Bauer carries on with women as 
well as boys and men and probably cats and dogs too; and I'll probably 
never get a chance to use the word again.  Under Mrs. Bauer's tutelage, 
Jeff intrepidly explores the neighborhood, while getting and giving a 
lot of ass - if you know what I mean <wink>!

The story ends with these words: "...he came all over his chest at the 
thought of Ron and he bblasting the ladies with come."  That should be 
"Ron and him", and I personally like "cum" better than "come" - 
especially as a noun and especially on my tits.  This is not a story 
for rocket scientists; it's for guys who still have adolescent 
fantasies about boinking the lady next door.  However, it really is a 
pretty good description of hot adolescent male fantasies.  This kid's a 
regular Lothario!

Ratings for "The Neighborhood"
Athena (technical quality): 7
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7

"To Boldly Go" by The Krazmeister (kraszlan@enternet.com.au).  I 
recently read a review in Scientific American of "The Physics of Star 
Trek," in which the author argues convincingly that the Star Trek 
movies and series have actually done a fairly good job of educating 
young viewers in science.  The author of that book was obviously not 
talking about this story, which is more on the order of "One of the 
Three Stooges Fucks a Strange Alien from Someplace Else."  My highlight 
came when the female Tribok used her long ears to caress either side of 
Kirk's face.  The Tribok also used her prehensile tail in creative ways 
while Kirk got his bone honed in her love tunnel.  The author obviously 
developed the plot during a couple of prolonged bowel movements and 
then took all of 15 minutes to pop this draft into the computer and 
submit it to a.s.s.  I have seen numerous Star Trek stories that are a 
lot better than this one.  If you have a creative idea, don't rush it 
into the postings; turn it into a story first.

Ratings for "To Boldly Go"
Athena (technical quality): 4
Venus (plot & character): 4
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 3

"Erotic Bloopers 3" by Jackie ( an338903@anon.penet.fi).  I continue to 
enjoy Jackie's "Erotic Bloopers."  Look for them in a.s.s.d.  Here's 
one where she missed a good explanation: 

      "I concentrated on my clit as much as possible, getting
        lubrication from my cunt and started on a fast tract 
        towards an orgasm until I heard Jason break my spell 
        and say something about eating my juices." 

        ~~ Boy, would my fingers vigorously plow that furrow on 
            her plump barren parcel of land. (track)

I agree that the author meant "track," but "tract" also means a lengthy 
written treatise on a topic.  I think it would be interesting to 
picture our preorgasmic lass rapidly reading the instructions in Dr. 
Ruth or some other tract on "How to Have an Orgasm."
