
Celestial Reviews 302 - September 2, 1998

WINNER OF THE CELESTIAL VIRTUAL REALITY STORY CONTEST: 

The winner of my Virtual Reality story contest is "Back To Reality" by Vickie
Morgan.  It was a very close call between this and Stephanie's "African
Dreams."  The two stories are in a sense opposites: Stephanie's is noteworthy
for its simplicity and Vickie's for the complexity of its plot.  

I eventually gave the nod to "Back to Reality."  The author handles the
complexity extremely well.  The story is a wonderful exercise in imaginative
eroticism.  For more details, see the review below.

I might add that this contest yielded several other stories that made my Top
20 for August.  Thank you, authors, for some excellent stories.

Note:  Although it doesn't mention my list, one of the stories reviewed below
("Get R.E.A.L." by Shon Richards) implicitly challenges many of the cliches or
credulous assumptions that I have challenged in my reviews.  As a public
service, I am reposting my Celestial List of Credulous Assumptions 

1.  It is usually possible for a woman to estimate the size of a man's fully
engorged cock by gazing at his crotch when he is unaroused and fully dressed
and over ten yards/meters away.

2.  Without the use of scientific instruments men can easily estimate the size
of women's breasts from across the room, even if the woman is fully dressed.
{Actually, this is no big deal, since nearly all attractive women have 38DD
bust sizes anyway.}

3.  The normal sequence of sexual experiences is first petting, then oral sex,
then anal sex, then vaginal sex - usually all on the same date.  

4. The first boy to touch a girl's breasts will come in each of her three
orifices within the next hour.

5.  Most women would intensely enjoy sexual contact with another woman, but
most men would not enjoy sexual contact with another man, even if cultural
biases were eliminated.

6.  Children who have sex with their parents normally enjoy this activity and
grow up to be emotionally mature honor roll students who will contribute to
scientific research and to world peace.

7.  Ditto for sex with older siblings, kindly neighbors, and random strangers.

8.  When sons, daughters, little brothers, or little sisters ask questions
about sex, the best way to answer their questions is to show them, using their
bodies as part of the demonstration.

9.  When a spouse or lover catches his/her partner having sex with someone
else, the typical response is to join in.

10.  Women typically have multiple orgasms during every fulfilling sexual
encounter.

11.  Middle-aged men can typically have sex with copious ejaculations several
times a day for several days in a row.

10 & 11a.  Women and men that can do so are happier and better sex partners
than those who have fewer orgasms.

12.  Kids can go blind if they masturbate too often.  {Ooops.  That one
belongs on a different newsgroup!}

13.  Kids who do not masturbate at least daily are severely disturbed.

14.  It is important to pop a person's cherry before she gets out of high
school {or gets into high school, has her first date, gets married, buys her
first car, etc.}

15.  Women typically enjoy getting raped, once they get over their
inhibitions.

16.  Men who force women to have sex with them are sexy.

17.  People can be turned into sex slaves by college kids who read a chapter
in a psych book.  {Either that or some of these stories are written by Psych
profs who are really desperate to motivate their students to read a chapter in
their text book.}

18.  If you ever get turned into a sex slave, it will be the best thing that
ever happened to you.

19.  The typical male ejaculation shoots at least 12 inches through the air
{unless the penis is inserted into a receptacle which will terminate this
expulsion.  In this case the ejaculate lands with the impact of a speeding
bullet.}

20.  Most women ejaculate at least a pint of luscious fluid during a really
enjoyable sexual experience.

21.  Most people get turned on when their partner treats them with extreme
cruelty for the partner's own personal gratification.

22.  Most black men have "monster cocks."  These 12- to 14-inch penises will
thrill any pussy (or other aperture) lucky enough to receive one.  Black
women, however, do not have "monster cunts," nor do they appear to be all that
interested in the genitalia of their black brethren.  Hence the reciprocal
fondness between black men and white women, especially those known as sluts.

23.  The family that fucks together stays together.

24.  It's more fun to have sexual intercourse when there's a genuine risk of
pregnancy.  Offspring resulting from unprotected intercourse of minors tend to
be sexy honor students by the time they reach middle school. 

25.  Nuns {and English teachers, librarians, etc.} are really sexual dynamos.

26.  Ain't nothing wrong with most frigid women that a riding crop won't cure.

27.  Guys who go without underpants and have sex several times a day do not
develop a nasty rash.

28.  Male doctors get their rocks off during physical examinations of female
patients.  Female doctors have multiple orgasms whenever they examine a
beautiful person of either sex.

29.  A girl will get her first orgasm from her first intercourse, usually
within minutes after having her hymen torn.

30.  Most young girls are looking for experienced men to train them in sexual
practices.  They want to start but they don't know anything about it.  When
they find these instructors, they will say things like, "Yes, eat my pussy
now!"  {Which is a strange request from somebody that doesn't know anything
about sexual practices.}

31.  Most women who find that their husbands want to turn them out to their
friends respond, "Sounds like fun."

32.  Most boys who are forced to act the part of a girl find that they love
the role.  Unless this happens for the first time in a penal institution other
than school.

33.  Parents routinely leave their bedroom doors ajar when they intend to have
sex, and kids do so when they intend to masturbate, which they do noisily
above the bed sheets.

34. Nobody ever farts while making love. Especially not during anal
intercourse.  And even if they do, its never one of those rancid ones that
linger on and on.  And even if it is, the partner thinks its sexy.

35. No one ever gets a cramp while making love.  For that matter, no one ever
sneezes or has a nose so filled with snot that it's impossible to breathe,
much less give a blowjob.

36. The woman's vagina never makes that 'farting' noise due to trapped air in
there.  If she does, this causes immediate orgasm in both partners.

37. Nobody ever forgets to wipe his/her ass prior to having it licked, which
is unfortunate, because most people absolutely love the taste of human feces.

38. The woman never says "Ouch! I wasn't ready! I'm too dry!"  If she thinks
she wants to say these things, she instead says, "Fuck me harder!"

39. Men don't turn over and go to sleep immediately after sex.

40. Women don't fall asleep at the beginning of sex, when they feel so
comfortable and relaxed, and they can just let themselves go.... If they do
fall asleep, their partner regards this as a compliment.

Second note:  Here's an interesting list that someone sent me:

Good, Bad, or Worse

1.  Bad: You find a a porn film in your son's room. Worse: You're in
it.

2.  Bad: Your children are sexually active. Worse: With each other.

3.  Bad: Your husband's a cross-dresser. Worse: He looks better than
you.

4.  Bad: Your wife wants a divorce. Worse: She's a lawyer.

5.  Bad: Your wife's leaving you. Worse: For another woman.

6.  Bad: You can't find your vibrator. Worse: Your son "borrowed"
it.

7.  Bad: Your wife is sick. Worse: Of you.

8.  Bad: Your unit only measures out to be 2 inches long.
Worse: Erect!!

9.  Bad: Your husband has become a playboy. Worse: Centerfold.

10. Good: Hot outdoor sex. Bad: You're arrested. Worse: By your
husband.

11. Good: The teacher likes your son. Bad: Sexually.

12. Good: You came home for a quickie. Bad: Your wife walks in
unexpectedly.

13. Good: You go to see a strip show. Bad: Your daughter's the
headliner.

14. Good: Your boyfriend's on a diet. Bad: So he'll fit into your
clothes.

15. Good: Your daughter practices safe sex. Bad: She's eleven.

16: Good: Your neighbor exercises in the nude. Bad: She's 350
pounds.

17. Good: Your wife likes outdoor sex. Bad: You live downtown.

18. Good: Your wife meets you at the door nude. Bad: She's coming
home .

19. Good: Your wife's kinky. Bad: With the neighbors. Worse: All of
them.

20. Good: Your wife just experienced her first orgasm. Bad: With the
postman.

 21. Good: Your wife's got a flat stomach. Bad: And a matching
chest.

22. Good: Your wife's got large breasts. Bad: And a matching ass.

23. Good: Your wife reminds you of your mother. Bad: In bed.

24. Good: Your girlfriend's got soft, long, blond hair. Bad: Under
her arm.

25. Good: Your daughter's boss raves about her work. Bad: He's a
pimp.

Final note: remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for
me, my e-mail address is still celeste801@aol.com.

- Celeste

=====================
Celestial reviews:
=====================

"Illusion Of Love" by LeAnna (tg sex that's not tg) 10, 10, 10
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=384056029 

"I Just Want To Talk" by Nick (sextoy with personality) 10, 10, 10
	Unarchived

"Get R.E.A.L." by Shon Richards (virtual reality sex) 9.5, 10, 10
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=384056050 

"African Dreams" by Stephanie (romance) 10, 10, 10
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=386873550 

"Back To Reality" by Vickie Morgan (romance) 10, 10, 10
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385730433  

"The Garden Of Tranquility" by Dg (high tech chicanery, sex, and romance) 
	10, 10, 10
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385689435 

"No Matter What They Say" by Mat Twassel (virtually public sex) 10, 9, 9
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=384051167 

"November Third" by Poison Ivan (unusual passion) 10, 9, 9
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=383112117 

"On The Holodeck" by marky (virtual reality sex) 8, 8, 8
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385730421 

"The Reality of Virtual Possession" by Tigger (brutal bdsm) 8, 4, 2
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=380904979 

"Romantic Friction" by Wombat99 (going with the flow) 10, 8, 8
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385875065 

"Virtual Addiction" by Seurat (addiction to virtual reality) 10, 9, 9
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=381524710 

=====================
Guest reviews:
=====================

"Aphatos" by Yosha Bourgea (emerging sexuality). Fiddler: 10, 10, 10
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385735495 

"Shake Hands Across Her Back" by Shakespeare_I._Aint (threesome). 
Myers: 6
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=383771830 

=====================
Reposted Reviews:
=====================

* "Tell Me a Story" by smoot2 (fantasy plus live sex) 
            10, 10, 10
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385753838 

* "The Final Mission" by Spook (Action Adventure) 10
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385753825 

*"Tammy Gets Even (Better)" by Tammy Ng. (First 
          time...2nd time, 3rd time...) 10
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385753835 

* "Taxi, Sofa, Bedroom" by Deidre Ng (fantasy & romance) 10
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385753818 

* "In Your Mouth and Mine" by Tammy Ng (oral sex) 10
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385753853 

* "Scene from the Cabin" by TropicCool (sweet romance) 9.99
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385759743 

* "Nice Girl" by Of 2 minds (wife watching) 6
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385759752 

* "Nice Girl" by Of 2 minds (case study of 
            dysfunctional personality) 10
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385759752 

* "Innocent Days" by James Medley (menage a trois) 10
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385753847 

* "Coach" by Uncle Mike (sitcom parody) 10, 9, 9
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385724109 

* "Instant Romance" by Dafney Dewitt (con job) 9, 8, 8
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=384836881

* "High Rise" by Mike Hunt (voyeuristic romance)
            10, 10, 10
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385740953 
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385740947 

* "On The Beach" by Ellen Hayes (ff adolescent romance) 10, 10, 10
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385724112 

========================
On this day in Celestial History
	Celestial Reviews 114 - Sept 4, 1996
========================

* "Morningsong" by Mary Anne Mohanraj (wake-up call)  10, 10, 10
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=178472324 

* "Paint" by Mary Anne Mohanraj (old boyfriend) 10, 10, 10
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=178473949 

* "Father Dowling: I Am Heartily Sorry" by Uncle Mike 
            (sitcom parody) 10, 10, 10
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=275989527 

========================

"Illusion Of Love" By LeAnna (leanna1@hotmail.com).
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=384056029 

The VR program in this story does not automatically record the player's own
form; it asks for input.  If a fluffy cat were to do this simulation as a
turtle, and someone were to touch the turtle, that person would feel a turtle
and not a cat. That's not all that likely to happen, but you get the idea.

So with the preceding information in mind, you have to assume that the guy who
wants to make love with the girl who doesn't want to make love to him because
he is her best friend and she is a lesbian will get her to make love to him by
convincing her that she is making virtual love to a woman when she is really
making virtual love to him.  It's really as complicated as that; but the
author makes it all make sense.

The question, of course, is whether it would be rape if you had sex under
false pretenses across a telephone link that incorporated virtual sex.  And if
something went wrong - if she discovered that you were you instead of someone
else - would she still respect you in the morning?

It's a close call, but a good story.  A perplexing but interesting story.

Ratings for "Illusion Of Love"  
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 

"I Just Want To Talk" By Nick (nick@cassandra.demon.co.uk).

Since the woman he has just made love to consists entirely of light, there is
no way she can physically hurt him. All he has to do is reach for the "bail-
out" button and he will be back in the real world. He decides to stay awhile.
Otherwise we'd have no story.

The sex has been OK, but not spectacular, and our hero has decided that with
the remaining credit on this session he might as well enjoy a little post-
coital snooze. But she wants to talk.  To a guy that notion might seem scary,
but if Wanda has been heuristically programmed, it's really essential - don't
you see? It's almost as if she has a little personality of her own.

Read this story to see what it's like when computer sextoys develop
personalities.

Ratings for "I Just Want To Talk" 
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 

"Get R.E.A.L." by Shon Richards (lordshon@aol.com).
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=384056050 

William has grown bored with his practical-reality workstation, which (like
most pr owners) he has used his almost solely for sex fantasies.  He has
started to notice how all of his virtual romantic receptacles have been
starting to act alike: Mona Lisa and Cheerleader Cindy have been making the
same noises in bed.  He has purchased R.E.A.L (Reality Enhancement Actualizer
L-drives ) with the hope that the VR program might return the old excitement
to his dances with the one-eyed sailor.

The R.E.A.L program works; that is, the characters take on more enticing
characteristics, and this makes them initially more sexy.  However, in each
case they also shift the scripted plot into the direction of greater
authenticity.  The result is that they step out of his fantasy and act in ways
that real people would act under those circumstances.  In short, the program
needs some debugging if it is to serve as an improvement on the old five-
finger shuffle.

This is a very interesting twist.  As the author puts it: "It was only after
Tina's father was beating the crap out of him that he thought to make Tina an
orphan.  Trial and error becomes painful when you just want to get your rocks
off."

Ratings for "Get R.E.A.L."
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 

"African Dreams" By Stephanie (stephanie@nym.alias.net).
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=386873550 

Mark's wife has died in a recent, tragic accident. Mark is lonesome  for her,
and so is his young son, Dean.  They have a virtual playroom that focuses on
an African veldt, as suggested by the set-up for this contest, and Dean has
been spending an inordinate amount of time there lately.  One night, after
putting Dean to bed,  Mark goes into the virtual world alone; and to his
amazement he finds his deceased wife there.  Apparently Dean has wished for
his lost mother, and the obliging dinosaur that manages the virtual
environment has created her. No wonder the boy has been spending so much time
in there!

Nice set-up!

And we have humor too:

<<Mark's fingers ran slowly over his wife's body, and then he slipped
them under the bikini bottom. She looked at him and smiled, "I'm already
wet."

Mark couldn't help but laugh back, "Of course you are. We're
standing in four foot of water." He pulled her bikini bottom off and she
removed her top at the same time.>>

Damn!  This was a good story!  Be sure to read it.

Ratings for "African Dreams"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 

"Back To Reality" By Vickie Morgan (artemis55@hotmail.com).
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385730433  

Ellen was severely injured when she rescued a stranger at the scene of a
serious accident.  She is in great pain, and it is not certain she will ever
walk again.  Fortunately, the person she saved is a really rich and extremely
grateful woman, who has sent Ellen for her entertainment a virtual reality
machine.  This makes sense: what better way to wile away the time until the
pain dissipates?  As I might have put it, "Morphing is better than morphine."

Fortunately, the author has a lot more dignity than I do.

The VR3000 comes with a safeword (which leads to an automatic exit from the
program) and is protected by several fuses and trip switches, so it's
impossible for a power surge to affect it. Most programmes last about a
fortnight (a measure of time in Europe), and so the VR3000 has intravenous
drips to make sure the participant gets necessary nutrients and liquids and
tubes to deal with waste.  Etc.  The designers have thought of everything.

Or have they?

Ellen first plunges into the virtual world of Romeo and Juliet (a play that
people read and watch in Europe).  Her involvement in the play is remarkably
realistic.  However, it turns out that Ellen is a lot like me. By that I mean
she decides to deviate from the Bard's plot to see how adaptable the program
is.  It's logical that the main characters would be well researched, but how
much time had been spent on minor characters and just what would happen if she
decided to change the plot?  Hence, "Kiss me, Mercutio."  And then, as the
poet said, the cumshot hits the fan.

I found it reassuring to discover that the VR3000 lacks an effective
spellcheck: we find Ellen upset because she can't stop Arthur from "marring"
Guinevere in the Camelot program.  Actually, maybe the 3000 just has a really
good Freudian subroutine.

Anyway, she gets a souped-up version of the program that enables her to travel
through the countryside of Umbria and Tuscany (places where people in Europe
like to bask when on holiday), where this conversation occurs:

<<"I'm sorry.  I just wish this was all real.  I wish you were real."

"What on earth are you talking about?"

"This is just a very clever computer game.  I'm laid in a machine in 
England with wires and tubes stuck in me while a load of processing 
chips, or whatever they're called, create this whole illusion."

"Have you been smoking illegal substances?"  David asked lightly.  She
sat up and looked into his eyes.

"I'm serious.  None of this exists."

"Are you saying I don't exist?">>

In the middle of this conversation, Ellen realizes that she has forgotten to
set the program to go beyond the prescribed fortnight.  Indeed, it's possible
that, like Americans, Europeans get fortnights confused with furlongs and
fathoms.  Anyway, what does a virtual solipsist do when it's midnight,
Cinderella?  And can you believe that my computer didn't even blink at the
word "solipsist"?

David seems to have the solution: "You have to leave.  After all, I don't
really exist and you do.  And you are a wonderful person.  Never forget that.
One day you will meet a real man who will love you just as I do."

Now, I'm not going to tell you how this story ends.  But I know perfectly well
that the producer for "Days of Our lives" reads my reviews.  Listen up!  The
"Days" storyline sucks right now.  Dump your writers and hire this author.
You'll go right back to the top of the daytime ratings.

I don't think this is really the time to ask you this, but I can't help it.
Do you sometimes get the feeling that there are too many solipsists in the
world?  I've been thinking about that question a lot lately.  And if I can
think about it, I must have Cartesian coordinates.  And if you've been
thinking about this too, that means that I might be right.  At least I think
so.

Ratings for "Back To Reality"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 

"The Garden Of Tranquility" By DG (dionysian1@hotmail.com).
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385689435 

Jace is a sexy, intelligent man in his thirties who runs a company called
Custom Virtual Environments.  At the beginning of the story we find him
literally immersed in his work - making a virtual deep-sea dive in a beautiful
but dangerous aquatic virtual environment. Recent improvements in the
technology had led to an unforeseen quantum leap in the quality of the VR
experience.  An unforeseen, tragic consequence is that people have been dying
during the VR experience - brain seizures, heart attacks, and things of that
ilk.  

I assume you can think of some less tragic consequences.  But that sort of
thing might be even riskier than you can imagine.

It seems that Jace is virtually in love with Karma, who is the virtual
representation of a rep for a huge software company with whom he is currently
negotiating an alliance.  She's the most beautiful and enticing woman he has
ever met.  In the virtual Garden of Tranquility they do some testing of Jace's
genital unit (a component of his biointerface with which you may be
unfamiliar).

This story gives new meaning to the saying that the brain is the most
important sex organ.  Which explains my lust for Alex Trebek.

The question in the back of your mind, of course, is why is this so dangerous?
If I told you, I'd have to kill you.  All I can say is that it has something
to do with neo-luddites and Pandora's box.  I'll take Pandora's box for $1000,
Alex.

Ratings for "The Garden Of Tranquility"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 

"No Matter What They Say" By Mat Twassel (Mmtwassel@aol.com).
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=384051167 

You've probably heard the old joke about the young couple who went to the
marriage counselor.  It was obvious that they lacked spontaneity in their
marriage, and the counselor told them so.  "The next time you see the twinkle
in your partner's eye," concluded the therapist, "go for it!"

At the next session he asked them how it went. "It was great," the guy
replied. "We followed your advice and had the best sex ever."

"Right," added the wife. "But we're not allowed back in McDonald's anymore."

Were the present story not sent to me as an official entry to my current
contest, I might have taken it as just another story about a guy having very
pleasant sex with his lover in McDonald's restaurant while the children at the
next table quibble with their mother over their Happy Meal toys.  

However, this is a virtual reality contest, and so we know that what appears
to be real isn't really real.  Not even if she says it's really real.

Ratings for "No Matter What They Say"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

"November Third" By Poison Ivan (poisoniv1@hotmail.com).
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=383112117 

Q. Do you know what a coolie is?  
A. It's a quickie in the snow.  

As the title suggests, the main action of this story takes place in November,
and so it's not a full-blown coolie.  The two lovers do it in a pile of
leaves.  It's hot sex, even though his dick nearly freezes when she rolls him
over to get on top.  

And my joke is actually inappropriate for this story, because it's a very
serious insight into a very serious passion.  To find out what that means and
what it has to do with virtual reality, you'll have to read the story.

Ratings for "November Third"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

"On the Holodeck" by marky (marky9"@hotmail.com ).
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385730421 

This story features the holodeck technology found in Star Trek, but there are
absolutely no references to Star Fleet, Vulcan's, Klingons, or anything else
Star Trek related.  Which reminds me, do you know why the star ship Enterprise
is similar to a piece of toilet paper?  Give up?  It's because they both go
around Uranus looking for Klingons. {get it? Your anus - cling-ons?} A joke
like that can do a lot to make the rest of the review seem really good by
contrast.

Jessie has been depressed since the recent death of his wife Demi. His boss
has told him to take a month off, and he has decided to run an immersive
holodeck program, to try to get away from it all".  As you can easily imagine,
the computer generates a hologram version of Demi.  However, holo-Demi lacks
personality.  Jessie eventually instructs the program to enrich Demi, first by
incorporating 50 hours of home video and then by merging some adult videos at
the end.  You can well imagine what happens next.  

He decides to save the program for future use.

Although it has some grammatical blunders, this story is generally well
written.  Just a little predictable.

Ratings for "On The Holodeck" 
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8

"The Reality of Virtual Possession" by Tigger (Tigger@alices.com).
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=380904979 

Dr. Ronald Ketchum has invented a virtual reality machine with which he will
give himself the ultimate sexual pleasure.  This consists of having his
virtual sexual partner beat his naked body severely and for him to service her
sexual needs while he suffers various forms of degradation and humiliation.

The Big Deal, I suppose, is that Dr. Ron is able to get all the advantages of
a brutal beating and other forms of mistreatment without the inconvenience of
bruises, scars, and other forms of organ and tissue damage.  And in a way that
I really cannot explain to you right now, this whole thing is a truly
altruistic way to help the handicapped.

My word for Ron is weird. A less judgmental term would be dysfunctional.
People like Ron and Mistress Ellen do not live in Mister Rogers' Neighborhood.

I am willing to grant the possibility that there are sick people who would
enjoy what Ron enjoys in this story.  I am even willing to admit that there
may be non-sick people who can derive sexual enjoyment from fantasizing about
and participating in the intense level of sexual mistreatment described in
Ron's virtual world.  The problem is that this story does little to enable me
to understand why Ron acts and reacts the way he does in this story. 

What this story asks me to do is to read about a person enjoying the sensation
of being brutalized and to enjoy myself while doing so.

Not hardly, pilgrim.

Ratings for "The Reality of Virtual Possession"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 4
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 2

"Romantic Friction" by Wombat99 (eliasn@netvigator.com).
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385875065 

Emily is approaching the age of 40 and has been spending her time at a sort of
adult arcade called "Virtual Depravity."  She can leave her inhibitions at the
door, engage in evil thrills, and come away still virtuous.  But she has been
having trouble getting her mind into it.

Her problem, of course, is an overdeveloped superego.  I read about this sort
of thing in my psych book back in college.  Inside Emily's psyche there is a
little guy called the Id and another called the Superego, who are fighting for
control of her Ego.  Another way to look at this is that the Id and Superego
are having a professional wrestling match for possession of her soul.  The
superego keeps winning, but she's subconsciously rooting for the Id.

Try writing that on your psych midterm.

Another of Emily's problems is that she's anal retentive - i.e., a
perfectionist.  Just when she's about to be raped by a sexy virtual Mongol
chieftain, she notices that he's speaking in English rather than Mongolian;
and this ruins the mood.

Eventually, Emily learns to go with the flow, and life becomes wonderful, as
reality blends with virtual reality.  To find out how, you'll have to read the
story yourself.

Ratings for "Romantic Friction"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8

"Virtual Addiction" by Seurat (seurat7@enter.net).
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=381524710 

What some authors do when faced with the rules of a contest is try to write a
story that fits the rules but is actually the opposite of what the contest
designer expected.  This is one of those stories.  Seurat introduces us to a
couch potato who is addicted to virtual reality.  The problem is that it's
difficult for us as readers to determine what is real and what is not.  It all
makes sense at the end, but I can't tell you any more without ruining the
story for you.

Ratings for "Virtual Addiction"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

"Aphatos" by Yosha Bourgea <raindog@sonic.net> reviewed by Fiddler.  
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385735495 

The author recently reposted this story and asked if we remembered it.  Some
of us do and remember it as a classic.

The frame of this story is a man's indistinct memories of his first love at
13.  The girl was 16, an almost unbridgeable gap.  

In the story, however, they manage to bridge it.  She leads him on a morning
exploration of a neighboring patch of woods which her generation had made
their playground.  They exchange small wonders, a few confidences, a few
kisses.  They make love.

Memories after that time become fragmented, but the narrator keeps walking in
woods to evoke the bittersweetness of what he has had and lost.

Bourgea fulfills Fiddlers law:  "The best writers are the worst posters."
Download this one and reformat it.  The experience of reading the story
without the distractions of the over-long lines is worth the effort.

Ratings for "Aphatos":
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Fiddler (appeal to this reviewer): 10

"Shake Hands Across Her Back" by Shakespeare_I._Aint
(Shakespeare_I._Aint@hotmail.com).  Guest review by Dave Myers.
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=383771830 

Writing is hard work, and re-writing is just a bitch. I see an awful lot of
stories take a great idea only halfway to fruition, some that begin well and
trail off, and others that lose the inspiration of their originally intended
plots just as the action should be getting hot. This story needs to decide
what it's really trying to say. And with a healthy re-write, it could have a
great impact.

Synopsis: The title refers to two men that meet for the first time in the
midst of an MMF. Get the picture ?

The humor and the pinpoint accuracy of the first third (the non-sex part) of
this story are quite well thought out. Our hero has a fetish for breaking in
new couples to the threesome (mmf) game, and his powers of observation are
acute. His taste for the game of sex is disconnected, objectified, and
passionless in the same sort of sense as a wine connoisseur that sips but does
not gulp. The portrait is intriguing.

During roughly the next third of the story, we meet the prospective couple,
consisting of an overeager, selfish husband and a reluctant wife.  As the
escapades begin, the sex is tense, mechanistic, and realistic. 

The threesome then proceeds to round 2, but the extra helping doesn't go down
as smoothly. The original allure of the text, embedded in the author's
hyperreal format of storytelling, has begun to break down.  For potential
emulators of this writing style, perhaps "How Stella Got Her Groove Back", by
Terry McMillan, should be required reading. That way, you will get an idea of
just how hard it is to sustain that kind of flow for so many pages.

Here is where some re-writing just might do this text some good. In some ways
I applaud the author for not making this yet another "reluc" story where the
wife figures out halfway through the fucking that she's having a good time.
The other alternative plot that occurs to me is the stark, less sexy, but
compelling possibility of never allowing the wife to become a fully functional
partner in the heat of the moment. This makes for a much harder story to
write, but a great challenge. Instead, this author seems to unsatisfyingly
split the difference right down the middle, and never really deals directly
with the wife's transformation, or lack thereof.

Rating: 6

* "Tell Me a Story" by smoot2 (smoot2@ix.netcom.com).  
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385753838 

After a session of good sex, a woman asks her lover to tell her a story.  He
responds with an erotic tale.  While she listens, she brings him and herself
to an even better orgasm.  Ummm!    Tell me another story!  I could handle
about 1001 Nights of This.

This story is by the author of "Lyrical Fantasy," which I reviewed in CR 27.
That story, I said, was a good story that was ruined by faulty proofreading
and bad formatting.  I added that if this author ironed the kinks out of his
writing, his work would be in a class with the writings of Deidre and Tammy Ng
- which is a pretty good class.  See!  I was right!  This is a wonderful
story.

I would like to take credit for this improvement, but unless smoot2 and I did
some time traveling or mental telepathy, he did this on his own.  However, my
point is still valid: the main difference between this story and the author's
previous attempt is that this one is presented better.  It's not that the
author's exceptional creativity is unimportant - it's just that by cleaning up
his final draft of this story he lets us see what he really has to say.  With
"Lyrical Fantasy" I was constantly distracted by the way the story was
presented to me; in this story there still were grammar mistakes, but I
skipped right past them and was distracted only by a warm, moist feeling in my
pussy.  I like this kind of distraction much better.

Ratings for "Tell Me a Story"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

* "The Final Mission" by Spook (Spook95613).  
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385753825 

Movies get rated "not for children" if they contain too much sex and violence.
This story would probably qualify for censorship on the basis of its sex
alone, but violence is its main credential.  However, it's not stupidly
gratuitous sex and violence; there's also a meaningful plot to which the sex
and violence make legitimate contributions.  What embarrasses me is that some
Neanderthal is going to read this story and say, "Hanging the girl on a meat
hook and taking her picture after killing her with agonizing slowness!  That's
really a neat idea!  Why didn't I think of that?"  As I read this story, I saw
a good combination of sexiness, dedication, courage, intelligence, and
violence that kept me constantly interested in the plot.  

Let me warn you that this is a long story; and if you're looking for hot sex
for a quick turn-on, you might want to look elsewhere.  My husband is a Rambo
fan, and I've learned to tolerate that genre (largely through classical
conditioning - pleasant sensations have tended to develop during commercials
and lulls in the action).  He liked this story, and so did I.

There are a few minor problems.  For example, the heroine would have been
caught and killed long before she could have accomplished anything, except
that she stumbled across a duffel or gym bag that the fiendish enemy had
carelessly left where she could find it.  Just another coincidence to keep the
story going!  Both Thomas Hardy and Mark Twain were notorious for such
coincidences; but I like it better when there's a little less reliance on such
events.  In addition, I simply assumed that the military technology and
planning made sense; it sounded good, but I don't know much about those
topics.  I'm not a Sweet SOU or anything - although I hear that's going to be
a requirement for the next generation of English teachers.  

(Rating: 10)

* "Tammy Gets Even (Better)" by Tammy Ng.  
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385753835 

This story was posted over a week ago; but if you follow my advice, you
routinely download all stories by the Ng sisters.  If you don't find this one
in your files, you'll have to prevail on the generosity of the younger Ms Ng
to repost this one.  Here's some dialogue from the story:  

"You're the best," he said. 
"Oh am I," I said, "I'm very flattered." 
"You're also the worst and the prettiest and the ugliest and the tallest and
the shortest." 
"Am I also first and last and only?" 
"Yes." 
"Oh, dear." And I hugged him closer.

It's refreshing to read about an adult male getting deflowered by a female who
doesn't feel a psychotic need to dominate or humiliate him!  The virginity
lasts only a little while (the next night they do it in the darkroom, while
developing photographs - which is another first for me!) - but I thought it
was downright tender and sexy.  (Rating: 10)

* "Taxi, Sofa, Bedroom" by Deidre Ng.  
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385753818 

The title of this story is actually the answer to a question.  If you scan any
of the sex or humor newsgroups, you'll always find listings that are labeled
"Strangest Place You've Had Sex?"  Apparently a game show host (maybe on Love
Connection) or a talk show host (maybe Jay Leno) - the legends vary - once
asked a sweet young thing, "Where's the strangest place you've ever had sex?"
- expecting an answer like in the girls' locker room or on top of a flag pole.
The unabashed answer was, "I guess that would be in the ass."  On one of the
newsgroups there has been a furious debate over whether the answer was "in the
ass" or "up the ass."  So that's the history behind this title - only in this
case the question was "Where do you like to get kissed?" and her answer was
"On the inside of the thigh," while his was "Taxicabs, sofas, bedrooms, most
anywhere, really."  Oh - and that's also the order of places in which the
couple in the story make love - taxicab, sofa, bedroom.

The most erotic aspect of this story, I think, is the way in which the female
protagonist fantasizes to her date about what she imagines he will do to her.
It's really hot stuff.  I'm writing this part of the review while they're on
their way from the sofa to the bedroom.  So far, my panties aren't wet; but
that's because in the spirit of the story I took them off in the restaurant -
which was even before the taxi.  Well, I've finished the story, and her
fantasies where fulfilled.  Another excellent story.  

(Rating: 10)

* "In Your Mouth and Mine" by Tammy Ng (deidreng@aol.com).  
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385753853 

Never in her wildest, least erotic dreams did Tammy Ng imagine that someday an
English teacher would use this story as a means of regaining her faith in
human nature.  The story takes the form of a letter from Tammy to her somewhat
less lascivious (actually, that's not saying much) sister Deidre.  It has
something to do with voyeurism and oral sex.  For some reason my hand wandered
while I was reading this story; and I have a vague, residual feeling of recent
intense pleasure in my surprisingly moist nether regions.  But my main
impression of this story is that it was well punctuated.  Not perfect, mind
you, but well punctuated.  As the song says, Tammy is "close enough to perfect
for me." Bless you, Tammy!  I needed that.  (Rating: 10)

* "Scene from the Cabin" by TropicCool.  
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385759743 

This is a beautiful story - one of the best I've read.  However, most of the
readers out there will hate it, however, because there's no hot sex in it.
Just love and sentiment and all that wonderful stuff that makes hot sex so
wonderful when it happens too.  I have to commend the author for resisting the
temptation to throw in the hot stuff.  I desperately want to give this story a
10, but I just can't bring myself to give a perfect rating to a an
alt.sex.story that's not about sex.  

(Rating: 9.99)

* "Susan and Becky" by Jonathan Dzoba.  

This story is written in the format of letters from Susan, who is a teenager
at an all-girls band camp, to her boyfriend.  After a brief build-up in the
first three letters, the final two letters describe the girl's sexual intimacy
with her female roommate.  I found the descriptions to be wonderfully erotic.
The notion that the story is being told in letters to her boyfriend adds a bit
of titillation to the story.  What I don't understand is how somebody named
Jonathan Dzoba could understand so thoroughly the emerging sexual feelings of
a blossoming young woman.  Excellent story.  

(Rating: 10)

* "Nice Girl" by Of 2 minds (of2minds@aol.com).  
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385759752 

About once a month (apparently in relation to phases of the moon or the
pitching rotation of the Texas Rangers - I'm sure it has nothing to do with
PMS), I get this wild urge to abandon my role as a sexy English teacher and
smut critic and move into my other personality as a pop psychologist.  This
story triggered my psychosis.  Hence the schizophrenic double rating in the
list preceding these reviews.

If you read this story because you're horny (or want to get that way) and need
some good action, this is a story about a guy who invites his old roommate to
spend the night and then wakes up in the middle of the night and finds his
roomie fucking the brains out of his supposedly faithful wife, who is loving
every minute of it.  There's a whole genre of sex stories that focus on wife
watching, and large numbers of happily married family men (and a smaller
number of equally sane and stable women) get off on this sort of thing.  I
don't.  If my husband were such a weakling that he got his kicks out of
watching me do it with someone else, I wouldn't respect him. Likewise, I
wouldn't respect myself if I had such a weak personality that I would marry a
guy who would be my caretaker until I could get an occasional romp in the sack
with a real man.  My husband doesn't own me, but we have this deal that's
based on these things called vows that we take seriously.  My personal
feelings are so strong that I simply don't turn on to fantasies about spouse
watching.  (Note that I am not saying *you* are wrong to enjoy this genre.
All I'm saying is that this kind of story does not appeal as a turn-on to me -
and there are a lot of other people like me.)  So, if I rate this for its
potential as a wife-watching story designed to turn people on, I'd give it
about a 6.  It's a decent story of that genre, but I think there's room for
improvement.  (But I hasten to add that a person who is a connoisseur of this
genre may give this story a different rating.)

This reminds me: A couple of weeks ago I reviewed "The Top Ten Lies of Usenet
Porn."  I hope that author reposts that exceedingly clever list and that
others add to it once in a while.  If I recall correctly, one of those lies
was "When a guy comes upon his best friend fucking his wife's brains out, the
natural reaction is to either applaud or join in." 

<<Aside: What if vast numbers of American teenagers show up in their English
classrooms this year using the word "genre" correctly during the coming school
year?  What if *my own* students do so?  Should I be proud to have influenced
them or upset because they're reading this review in the first place?  What if
some poor kid turns in a paper analyzing "The Great Gatsby" in terms similar
to mine, and the teacher recognizes the connection?  That would mean they're
both reading this newsgroup.  Oh, my!>>

So now my alter ego kicks in, and I'll reexamine the story as a brief
psychological case study.  Although it's obvious to me that about 90% of the
people reading this newsgroup are looking fore sexual titillation, a case
study about sexual behavior would still belong on a.s.s.  It's actually
possible that sexually oriented people are willing to think about sex as well
as have fun with it.

The woman in this case study has been involved in an abusive relationship with
her father as a child.  (Note: the "abuse" is badly stated by the author -
perhaps because he felt uncomfortable with it.  I think it would have been
better to simply remain ambiguous about the specific nature of the abuse, but
to imply that it had happened.  I really doubt that the "abuse" described by
the author would lead to such a severe dysfunction - unless that abuse were
merely the tip of a larger iceberg.)  During the intercourse with the roommate
she calls out her father's name and her husband's name.  What we have now is a
case study of a dysfunctional person, who is managing to cope pretty well with
the dysfunction.  I mean, she has this scar on her personality, and yet she
has managed to lead a pretty normal life under the protection or safety
provided by her husband, who is also using her to meet some needs of his own.
Had this pervert of a roommate not shown up, she would have continued her
pleasant existence; and even after her session with him, it seems possible
that she is going to return to near normalcy.  Perhaps she has even grown as a
result of the roommate experience.  I would like to know a little more about
the woman's background in order to consider this an excellent case study; but
it's already pretty good.

It seems safe to assume that lots of normal people in real life have similar
"dysfunctions" but are considered functional because they handle them well.
It is also worth noting that certain personality disorders can actually become
strengths - for example, the maniacal preoccupation with specific activities
can often be a handicap; but such single-mindedness can become a strength
under the right circumstances.  The trick, as Clint Eastwood says, is to know
your limitations. An extension of this reasoning is that if it is possible
that activity like that described in the story is not necessarily destructive
to personalities and relationships, then a fortiori *fantasizing* about such
activities would be even less likely to be destructive.  

Enough psychobabble!  Go figure!  

(Rating: 6 as wife watching; 10 as a case study.)

* "Innocent Days" by James Medley.  
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385753847 

I've always admired faithful military wives, and so I was surprised that I so
much enjoyed this tale of a wife playing around while her husband was away in
Vietnam.  I think there were three things that made me enjoy the story: (1)
The narrator presented the story as if the protagonist's action were the most
natural thing in the world.  (2) The metaphors were excellent. (3) The
description was extremely vivid.  Or maybe it's simply that the author is a
just plain good writer.  The action takes place in a pecan grove in
Mississippi and in the nearby trailer park.  And Judy makes a great pecan pie
that tastes great if you eat it naked right after three-way sex.  

(Rating: 10)

* "Coach" by Uncle Mike (fr582@cleveland.Freenet.Edu).  
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385724109 

Christine has planned a surprise for Hayden.  She has left a provocative note
inside a special issue of Playboy Magazine, and now she has sneaked into his
office, wearing nothing but a trench coat and a smile.  She has locked the
doors, and now she springs the surprise upon him.  Actually, SHE's the one who
is surprised.  It's not Hayden there behind the Playboy centerfold, but
Dauber, who gives her cunt the ride of her life.

This short piece is good - but it's not among Uncle Mike's best.

Ratings for "Coach"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

* "Instant Romance" by Dafney Dewitt (dafneydewitt@juno.com).  
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=384836881

In my Honors English Class several years ago I had a lazy student who was the
scion of a wealthy family.   The assignment was to write a short story, and he
turned in a short masterpiece entitled something like "The Surprise."  I
recognized it immediately as a slightly modified version of Saki's "The Open
Window."  Instead of accusing him of plagiarism, I simply gave him an F and
made up silly criticisms of the story - describing it as shallow and
unimaginative and accusing the author of such foibles as "poor word choice"
and "unimaginative imagery."  It was an exquisite form of torture.  The kid
knew I was full of baloney - after all, the story was actually written by H.H.
Munro (Saki), one of the greatest authors of short stories in the English
language.  But he couldn't say that to me or even tell anybody else, because
to do so he would have to admit that he had plagiarized the story.

The present story is also an adaptation of "The Open Window."  The author
openly admits the connection; so this is NOT plagiarism.  It's a pretty good
story, but a weak adaptation.  If you've never read "The Open Window" - or,
for that matter, if a smart-assed English teacher once gave you an F for
plagiarizing it - you should dig that story out from your old anthology or get
it from the library and take a look at it.  The main feature that the original
story possesses but the present story lacks is the double whammy.  In Saki's
story a fiendishly clever little girl scares the shit out of a simple-minded
visitor by feeding him a scenario about something that was supposed to have
happened in the past.  The visitor accepts this lie as true, and then is
horrified to see the scene re-enacted before his eyes.  He runs away in
terror, thinking he has seen a ghost.  The little girl, of course, knew this
would happen.  The family expresses wonderment over the visitor's sudden
departure, and with equal facility the little demon generates an equally
untrue story to explain why the guest ran away.  Romance at short notice was
indeed her specialty.  In the present story, a surprise visitor simply "wings
it" to have some fun with his sister's roommate.  It's fun, but nowhere near
the level of sophistication of Saki's story.

I think there's huge potential to turn this and other classical short stories
into really sexy masterpieces.  The present author has merely taken a kernel
of an idea and has omitted most of the original author's insights - the
ability of the little girl to build up in the mind of her listener the
irrational reaction which caused him to run out of the room and then to
explain his unnatural behavior through a second lie.  If anyone has the time,
I'd love to see someone else take a shot at a sexy version of this story line.
There are many other possibilities - an X-rated version of O. Henry's "The
Ransom of Red Chief" or "The Gift of the Magi"; a sexy rendition of Conrad's
"The Secret Sharer"; any number of Poe's stories.  I would even proclaim
another new contest, but someone has pointed out  to me that my current Third
contest is actually my Fourth. Life gets complicated when you get past
eighteen....

Ratings for "Instant Romance"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8

* "High Rise" by Mike Hunt (MrM1ke@aol.com).  
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385740953 
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385740947 

You know, Mike Hunt is really great.  I wish I had the nerve to say that
sentence out loud in a bar.  It would be a great pick-up line.  I mean, you
might get an interesting reply: "Your cunt is nothing compared to Emily
Dickinson's."

Anyway, Mike Hunt is really great.  This time he writes from the perspective
of his other self.  The easiest way to explain this is that his original self
is probably still recovering from the drubbing he took from Taria in her last
story.  Life gets complicated when you start playing significant roles in
stories other than your own!  

Anyway, in this story Mike starts out by voyeurizing the lady who lives in the
apartment in the high rise next to his own in Chicago.  When he discovers that
she goes online with AOL, he arranges to meet her there, without her knowing
that it's him; and then the he who's online counsels the her who's online with
regard to her budding romance with the him who she thinks is not online but
really is.  I think I got that right.  It may be better if you just read the
story.

The basic flaw of this story is the tenuous assumption that two people can
deliberately and easily get onto an AOL chat line almost at will in a major
metropolitan area like Chicago - IN THE EVENING HOURS yet!  Yeah, right.  And
the Cubs may win the World Series this year.

What I liked best about this story was that the woman came with a "whoosh" and
a "thunk."  Actually, I'm just practicing quoting information out of context:
she came _off the elevator_ with a "whoosh" and a "thunk."  When she came in
the sack it was simultaneously with her lover, but with neither a "whoosh" nor
a "thunk."

Ratings for "High Rise"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

* "On The Beach" by Ellen Hayes (nobody@REPLAY.COM). 
	http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=385724112 

Andrea is a teenager who has become stressed out because she has discovered
that she feels a deep and mutual physical attraction for her close friend
Darlene.  She doesn't want to be a lesbian!  Can't they just love each other
and not be lesbians?  Well, yes, I certainly think so; but I've had this
argument too many times to repeat it again.  This is another excellent story.
As the author adds in a postscript, "You can separate sex from teenage angst,
but you can't separate angst from teenage sex."

Ratings for "On The Beach"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

* "Morningsong" by Mary Anne Mohanraj (moh2@midway.uchicago.edu).  The lover
is sleeping soundly, and the narrator is going to wake him up by gently
maneuvering around him and stimulating his cock.  Normally I don't like
second-person ("you") stories, but this author does it very well.  There is
even a surprise ending to this very short story.

Ratings for "Morningsong"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

* "Paint" by Mary Anne Mohanraj (moh2@midway.uchicago.edu).  When a favorite
author writes a very short story like "Morningsong," I am inclined to declare
a bonus week and do a second story.  So here goes.

A young woman is helping her best friend paint an apartment.  Her former
boyfriend, who is now dating the best friend, is helping too.  It is a
sweltering hot day.  When the best friend goes out for more paint, the other
two go for an unscheduled quickie.

Ratings for "Paint"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

* "Father Dowling: I Am Heartily Sorry" by Uncle Mike
(fr582@cleveland.Freenet.Edu).  I have never watched an entire episode of
"Father Dowling."  I may be wrong, but I had the impression that it had
something to do with a priest and nun working together to solve crimes; but
this story has no detective work in it.  Since I know so little, I won't try
to comment any further than that on how well this story works as a parody.

The story focuses on Father Prestwick, who is hearing confessions.  Most of
the penitents are old ladies and children, whose "sins" are boring; but then
in comes Mrs. Klimaszewski, the woman in her early 30's who wears no bra and
whose husband is out of town and who confesses her sins of masturbating and
getting it on with the newspaper boy.  Since that session has already turned
him on, Father feels predisposed to prod <g> a little when Sister Stephanie
comes in to confess her sins; and pretty soon Sister Steve has another sin -
or several sins, depending on how you count - to confess the next time she
drops by the confessional.

I honestly believe that Catholic priests have gotten a bad rap in recent
years.  I think they are every bit as upright and virtuous, although certainly
not as intelligent, as English teachers; and I really don't think they are any
more likely to behave unprofessionally than other people who work closely with
people.  I really doubt that the sort of thing described in this story happens
very often.  But it sure makes a good story!

Ratings for "Father Dowling"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

<end>


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