-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
=-= The New Celestial Reviews #313: January 18, 1999 =-=
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Top 20 Reasons Why Chocolate is Better Than Sex

1) You can GET chocolate.

2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.

3) Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.

4) You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.

5) You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.

6) You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.

7) If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won't mind.

8) Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty
   names.

9) The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.

10) You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours
    without upsetting your co-workers.

11) You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.

12) You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.

13) With chocolate there's no need to fake it.

14) Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.

15) You can have chocolate at any time of the month.

16) Good chocolate is easy to find.

17) You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.

18) You are never too young or too old for chocolate.

19) When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbors awake.

20) With chocolate size doesn't matter.


Welcome to the first edition of what will hopefully be a helpful and
productive continuation of the Celestial Reviews. I would like here
to acknowledge the work of Bitbard and Miss Behavin in editing CRs
#311-2; without the knowledge that such a venture would succeed and
gain the support of the a.s.s. community, this "continuation of a
continuation" would have not been possible. The outline of the new
reviews and some of the standard text is retained from their work.
Happily, both have indicated they will be able to contribute to this
third incarnation.

We envisage the Celestial Reviews being released on a fortnightly
basis; this takes into account the severe RL workload of the editor
and some of the reviewers. There is every intention of producing CR
on a regular and consistent basis, a task made very much easier by
the assistance of my co-editor, Roger Racoon, whom I thank for his
generous offer of support. I would also like to express my appreciation
towards the reviewers, who have donated their time so that you, the
authors and readers, may spend yours more enjoyably on ASS/M.

This issue is basically a "clean up" edition of CR, in which the reviews
left unpublished at the time of BB/MB's resignations are now published.
In the next issue, the real work will have begun :-) For obvious reasons,
there will be no "Top 100 of 1998", but we do intend to continue the Top 20s
and 100s, the occasional competitions and the proofreading service as
organised by Celeste. I encourage authors to become involved in the
competition Homer is organising at the moment (see "Bulletin Board",
below).

Lastly, I would like to wish everyone a happy new year, and hope that
this publication will be a useful adjunct to your reading and writing
until such time as Celeste returns. May she come back soon.

- Apuleius.


-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
=-=             Bulletin Board             =-=
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

* One of our reviewers, Homer Vargas is organising a competition for
Celeste. I'll let him explain:

"A Call for Stories

I know that many of you are as shocked as I was at the news that
Celeste would no longer be doing the CR Reviews, at least for a while.

Few of us however will believe her transparently phony story about a
hard disk crash and being overwhelmed by work.  After all, Celeste is
no mere mortal; she is a Goddess.  No, their must be some "other"
reason, dark or funny, exciting or romantic.  I am sure that among all
the writers of ASSM, we can find it, or at least have a good time
trying.

Therefore, with Celeste's permission (she thinks it "would be fun"), I
call for a contest for the best story to explain the "real" reason
that Celeste had to withdraw from reviewing.

Write your story, and send it to me.  I will send each one to a group
of the CR reviewers who have agreed to judge the stories.  We will
select a winner and all of the stories will be sent to Celeste by
Valentine's Day.  (Please do not post your story until after the
contest as we intend to send the entire collection to Celeste as a
Valentine Day's gift.)"

His email address is: the_story_writer@yahoo.com.

* The CR currently needs proofreaders and authors who want proof
readers, if you fall into either category please email
procynidae@hotmail.com.

* The CR is always looking for guest reviewers; if you like to read
erotica and you have the ability to form an opinion, you're qualified.
Please contact apuleius@poboxes.com.

* If you'd like your story reviewed in the CR simply place <*> in the
subject line or email the story to apuleius@poboxes.com. Stories which
have not been emailed and do not include the <*> tag may still be reviewed.
If you have a philosophical objection to being reviewed, simply put somewhere
in your disclaimers that you don't want the story reviewed.

* For all general correspondence regarding CR, please contact
apuleius@poboxes.com.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
=-=            Resource Links             =-=
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

* ASSM -- Every story published to alt.sex.stories.moderated
        http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/windex.html

* ASS FAQ - Frequently asked questions about alt.sex.stories
        ftp://ftp.asstr.org/pub/Interesting_Reading/ass_faq.txt

* Free Story Site Index -- a guide to amateur erotica sites.
        http://annejet.pair.com/fs-faq.html

* ASSTR -- Free web host for erotica authors
        http://www.asstr.ml.org

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
=-=                ~ Index ~               =-=
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

~ The Reviews ~

"The Auction" by Pami
   {slave trade} Tiramisu: 9, 10, 10
   http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18037.txt
   --
   http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=422812344

"The Horse Trader" by ravishme
   {BDSM} Tiramisu: 8, 7, 7
   http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18254.txt
   http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18239.txt
   --
   http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=425465607
   http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=425463071

"His Pet" by Darlene Milner
   {BDSM} Tiramisu: 6, 7, 8
   http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17934.txt
   --
   http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=420750557

"The Treasure Box of Jasmin the Corsair" by HotScribe
   {swashbuckling sex} Jean: 5, 7, 4
   http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17985.txt
   --
   http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=421747664

"Muddy Waters" by MichaelD
   {first time} Jaybird: 10, 10, 10
   http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17811.txt
   http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17810.txt
   --
   http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=417415281
   http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=417415275

"The Problems of Utilitarianism" by Uther Pendragon
   {philosophical rites of passage} Nick: 10, 9.5, 10
   [not archived]

"The Stud Always Cums Twice" by Kysa Braswell
   {wifeslut} Roger Racoon: 7, 3, 1
   http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18031.txt
   --
   http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=422435956
   
"The Recurrent Fall of Eve" by Caroline Ashbee
   {teenage rites-of-passage} Apuleius: 10, 10, 10
   http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17968.txt
   --
   http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=421475241

"Kael's Diary" by Kael Goodman
   {romantic saga} Apuleius: 10, 10, 10
   http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17935.txt
   http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17936.txt
   --
   http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=420750560
   http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=420750590

"Summer Story" by Richard Rivers
   {interracial first-time} Apuleius: 7, 8, 8
   http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17933.txt
   http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18051.txt
   http://x6.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=431894795

"Evening Rendezvous" by Tom Bombadil
   {teen romance} Apuleius: 10, 10, 10
   http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18058.txt
   --
   http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=423560161


~ Celestial Repost Project ~

Celestial Reviews 2 - September 3, 1995

"Pillow Fight" by Dulcinea
   {romantic play} Celeste: 10, 9, 10
   http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=198384798

"eXstacy" by Wiley03
   {violent rape} Celeste: 1
   [lost]

"Crime of Love" by James Boswell
   {rape} Celeste: 5
   http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=340849253

"College" by Deirdre
   {fun at college} Celeste: 5.5
   http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=312561565

"First Time" by The Lady
   {incest} Celeste: 5
   [?lost]

"Slippery When Wet" by SueNH
   {sex in the spa} Celeste: 10
   http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=206907472 (part 1)
   http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=206953298 (part 2)

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
=-=            ~ The Reviews ~             =-=
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=


"The Auction" by Pami
        Email: pami1968@aol.com
        Review by: Tiramisu

I liked this story a lot.

A woman is presented by her master to be auctioned off for 10 hours.
She is his slave, but is happy to be so.

I liked the way the author described the slave: she stood tall...held
her head high. Her master was proud of her, she was vibrant and
intelligent, and he noted that "some men had beaten all spirit out of
their slaves." He would never do that. There is no coercion or abuse
in this story. The slave is a strong character,  and this makes the
story  stronger.

And of course, the way she is attired is extremely sexy.

It takes just a few paragraphs to set the scene through the thoughts
of slave and master, and then the action quickly moves to the present.
This seems just about right. The erotic excitement builds nicely, and
details are richly described. More important, (and more difficult) the
thoughts of the  characters are nicely revealed. Generally,  shifting
of viewpoint between slave and master is smooth and it is clear whose
thoughts we are reading.

There is a lot packed into a relatively short story. I thought the
amount of action, psychology, and detail were all  excellent, and
these elements were well balanced. I also liked the subtle point that
the master also was  taking a risk in this auction.

A few specific things I liked:

The use of the word vulva. A good word which we don't see often enough.

The ending. It doesn't just stop. The story manages to have an ending,
while allowing for a sequel.

The way the auction winner talks to her, working on her mind.

A few specific things I didn't like:

Long paragraphs. This is especially true for the opening, and the
first paragraph in particular where two different viewpoints are
contained in the same paragraph.

At one point, it wasn't clear which "channel" was being used.

The way the word "slut" was used, or overused: I prefer strong words
like this to be used sparingly and with purpose. In his thoughts, her
Master thinks of her as "his slut". To me, that word has strong
derogatory connotations, and he doesn't think of her that way. I might
have overlooked this, but later she is called "slut" many times by the
auction winner, perhaps to emphasize her submission. This is an apt
enough use of the word, but in combination with the first use of the
word, it didn't feel right.

Finally, the ratings. I hesitate to give a perfect 10 in the technical
category, even though it is probably as well written as other stories
which have gotten 10's.

~>Pandora (Story Codes/Genre)  MF, con, BDSM
~>Athena (Technical and Grammar)        9
~>Venus (Plot and Character)           10
~>Tiramisu (Appeal to Reviewer)        10
~>Links:
       http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18037.txt
       --
       http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=422812344

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

"The Horse Trader" by ravishme
        Email: rravishme@hotmail.com
        Review by: Tiramisu

A young woman is part of a group which travels to Russia for the
purpose of buying horses to import back to the US. The story depicts what
happens when the rest of the group goes off to do some sightseeing
while our heroine, the narrator, proceeds alone to look at horses.

The story is short, the narrative is rich in detail and it flows well.
I trust that the details about horses are accurate.

I recommend this story as worth reading, though it falls short of
excellence.

What is not excellent?

As I read the story, I thought of the scene in the James Bond film (was
it Never Say Never?) in which Kim Basinger is bound and auctioned off
to a rough group of tribesmen. I wonder if this was intended. While I
don't generally prefer kidnap or rape scenes, the Kim Basinger scene
was very sexy.  This story took the treatment of the narrator further than
the movie scene did, and attempted to get into her head.  This gave it
a lot of potential. Unfortunately, for me, it didn't quite make it.
Perhaps, for you it will.

After re-reading the story a few times, I find I didn't quite feel
like I was there and didn't find it a real turn on.  Perhaps this was
because none of the participants were depicted as being turned on.
There wasn't any actual sex.  I think, also, that part of the problem was
that, although the narrator gave good descriptions of what she was hearing
and experiencing, she did not describe what she was thinking. She was
afraid, and I'm sure she had very explicit thoughts, possibly about
being raped or being sold into sexual slavery. We didn't get to see
these thoughts.

Finally, to the ratings. There were a few misspellings (possibly
typos) and the occasional grammar or usage error.  In addition, there
was unnecessary use of parenthetical comments and the ellipsis, but
none of this interfered with the readability of the story. My first
thought was to rate it 7 on Technical and Grammar, but on the whole, it
was more well written than some stories which have rated 9. The plot
was good, character, okay for a story of this length, though I would have
liked to get inside her head more.

~>Pandora (Story Codes/Genre)  M++F, NC, Bond
~>Athena (Technical and Grammar)   8
~>Venus (Plot and Character)       7
~>Tiramisu (Appeal to Reviewer)    7
~>Links:
       http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18254.txt
       http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18239.txt
       --
       http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=425465607
       http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=425463071

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

"His Pet" by Darlene Milner
         Email: mindgames48@hotmail.com
         Review by: Tiramisu

We have parts 1 and 2 out of 6. In Part 1 a woman wakes bound and
captive, though apparently  content to be "His Pet." Part 2 begins to
explain how the scene developed. 

Part 1 can actually stand alone, so my ratings will apply to part 1
only, though I will comment on both.

The scene in Part 1 is erotic and sensual, exploring the sensations
from the Pet's point of view. He drives her hunger for food and sex,
and then satisfies that hunger. The reader doesn't know who the
participants are or what their relationship is, or how His Pet came to
be His Pet. Since the story is told from the Pet's point of view, it
appears she doesn't know either, and the reader only knows what the
Pet knows. 

This works in Part 1. In a short story, the mystery adds to the mood
and the eroticism, and no explanation is needed. This gets lost in
Part 2 as explanations begin and viewpoint shifts.

While I found Part 1 to be interesting and erotic, it was a bit
confusing. I couldn't quite figure out how she was bound. She couldn't
move her arms, but she could crawl and she could move her hands from
her breasts to her mouth. It might have been interesting to see more
of her  thoughts as she tried to figure things out, and it would have
made it easier for the reader to feel it.

Part 2 is more confused. She wakes up feeling loved, then she is not
pleased to be where she his, then the mind control begins and she is
content again. Shifting viewpoints also detract from Part 2.

On the technical side, switching from present tense to past tense was
a bit annoying, and the cute device of  capitalizing the "H" in "Him"
or "His", while using lower case for "her" or "she" wasn't
consistently applied.

The ratings for Part 1 (Part 2 would be quite a bit lower):

Pandora (Story Codes/Genre)  MF, MC, Mdom, Bond
Athena (Technical and Grammar)         6
Venus (Plot and Character)             7
Tiramisu (Appeal to Reviewer)          8
Links: 
    http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17934.txt
    --
    http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=420750557

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

"The Treasure Box of Jasmin the Corsair" by Hotscribe
        Email: mikaal@hotmail.com
        Review by: Jean

There's a Morecombe and Wise[1] sketch where Andre Previn conducts a piano
concerto with Eric Morecombe as the soloist.  Chaos, of course, ensues and
Andrew Preview (as the duo call him) accuses Eric of playing it all wrong.

"No, I'm not," replies Eric, "I'm playing all the right notes, but not
necessarily in the right order."

My initial impression of this story was a bit like that; all the right words
but not necessarily in the right order. "Like a sleek panther, her muscular
body in one smooth motion rose to stand beside me."  My thought was: "Like a
sleek panther, her muscular body rose in one smooth motion to stand beside
me."

A few paragraphs later the style brought a scene from Amadeus to mind.
Mozart, asking a royal patron for his opinion after the premiere of an opera,
is disgruntled to be told, "There were too many notes."

The author of this story obviously has imagination and tried to capture what
they saw in their mind's eye; a swashbuckling tale of heroes who live, and
lust, life to the full.  It reads like the pilot for a continuing saga; lots
of scene setting but not much plot.  Our heroes meet the female leader of a
band of brigands, and after an exotic meal a spot of mud-wrestling develops
into a (short) three-way sex session.

I can't recommend that you seek this story out but if you come across it see
how the first few paragraphs go.  IMHO the author needs a proof-reader, not
just to correct the grammatical errors but to rein in the excesses of that
vivid imagination.  At the moment they seem to be trying too hard; using too
many words and not necessarily in the right order.

[1] Famous and very funny British comedy duo from many years ago.  A bit (a
*very* *little* bit - but it will give non-UK readers some idea) like Dean
Martin and Jerry Lewis, though Ernie Wise was nothing like as smooth as
Dean Martin, and Eric Morecombe wasn't as downtrodden.

~> Pandora (story codes/genre) MFF, Heroic Fantasy, mudwrestling, oral, cons
~> Athena (Technical & Grammar)  5
~> Venus (Plot and Character)   7
~> Jean (Appeal to Reviewer)   4
~> Links:
        http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17985.txt
        --
        http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=421747664

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

"Muddy Waters" by MichaelD
        Email:  michaeld38@aol.com
        Review by: Jaybird


"Muddy Waters" by MichaelD is yet another in this author's string of
high-quality work.  If you generally like MichaelD's stories, you'll
probably appreciate this one, too; however, if you're looking for
stroke material, again like most of his previous work, this is not for
you.

"Muddy Waters" is technically a prequel to his earlier story "Swimming
Upstream," (which I think is truly excellent, BTW); however, "Waters"
is much shorter - maybe a short story, if "Swimming" is a novella.
"Muddy Waters" is told in the first person by Stephen, who is sixteen
at the time of this story, and is the tale of how he loses his
virginity to his cousin, Melissa, who is just fifteen and also a
virgin when the story begins.  If underage sex bothers you, or if
incestual fare is not your thing, you may want to avoid this one, but,
just like all his other stories, I find this one to be tastefully
done, so I doubt it will bother most of the readers here.

The story takes place at a campsite in the New Hampshire woods where
Stephen, his sister and parents, and his aunt and uncle and their two
children are all sharing a short camping vacation.  The story's title
is both a reference to "Swimming" and also a description of the
swimming hole at the campsite - a small, muddy pond that is the center
of much of the daytime action.  There's not much to do but swim and
poke around the site, so Stephen ends up hanging out with Melissa most
of the time.  Conversations slowly turn to boyfriends/girlfriends and
then to sexual exploration, and words eventually become deeds.  The
story has romantic elements to it, but is really too short to be much
more than just sweet.

MichaelD has certain strengths that are consistent across his stories,
and I'm happy to say that this one continues the tradition.  This
author is perhaps the best one currently posting at creating a setting
for his characters and making it real for the readers.  I always find
it easy to visualize the surroundings because they are so well
established in the work.  In "Muddy Waters", I can still see the
campsite, the pond, the creek, etc.

Another typical strength in MichaelD's work is his believable and
consistent characters.  In his introduction, he mentions his
story is somewhat autobiographical, so maybe that also helps out here,
but Stephen and Melissa felt very real to me.  The two main characters
are the only ones we really get to know, but they seem very much true
to my memories of what it was like to be a teenager.  Furthermore,
even though they really only play supporting roles, the other
characters are also well-written.  Excellent dialogue for all parties
really helps here.

And, last but not least, this story is up to MichaelD's usual high
standards for spelling, grammar, and all the other fine points of
composition.  I found one mistake in a story of more than 8000 words.
Pretty darned good, if you ask me.

So, to sum up, we have a nice, sweet short story of first-time sex
between teenaged cousins.  Not much action, but excellent characters,
great descriptions of setting, dialogue that rings true, and
high-quality writing.  Certainly worth the time for those readers
looking for more than just a quick release of sexual tension.  And if
you like this one, try looking up "Swimming Upstream", which was
recently reposted by the author.  MichaelD's writing talent plays even
better in longer material, and "Swimming" gives him room to show off a
little more.  "Muddy Waters" certainly is one of the better stories of
the month.  "Swimming" is one of the better stories of the year.

My ratings:

~>Pandora (Story Codes/genre): mf, teen, inc, mast, first/ first time, incest
~>Athena (technical quality):   10  (Top notch, as usual)
~>Venus (plot and character):   10  (not much plot, due to length, but
                                    great characters, dialogue, and setting)
~>Jaybird (appeal to reviewer): 10  (short and sweet)
~>Links:
       http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17811.txt
       http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17810.txt
       --
       http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=417415281
       http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=417415275

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

"The Problems of Utilitarianism" by Uther Pendragon
        Email: anon584c@nyx.net
        Review by: Nick

I finally got a copy! (I feel a little like Bart Simpson when he gets
together with his mates to acquire the sought-after first issue of
"RadioActive Man")

Firstly I note the acknowledgement to Kitty (irishlass) at the start of the
story, and I can certainly see her mark in the story!

Basically the plot is that on discovering that his daughter is on the pill,
her father invites her to discuss the matter of her sexual education with a
family friend. The daughter, Johanna, goes to the friend's apartment and
they start talking.

Now before I continue, this friend is called Mr Bentham. Jeremy Bentham to
be precise, and that rang a bell for me. Who the hell was Jeremy Bentham!?
A search through the house for our encyclopedia revealed gold! Jeremy
Bentham was a British philosopher who postulated (wait for it) the
philosophy of Utilitarianism! The puzzle behind the title bites the dust!

So, back to the story.

Daughter and friend adopt rational philosophical disciplines to discuss her
condition. They lay down a few ground rules before cutting to the first
"practical" session. Now I'm not sure if its the place of the review to go
into detail as to what they do discuss and its implication. The Celestial
Review must, after all, be of readable length. However, after this session
they move on to the moralities of privacy and knowledge and of who is hurt
by Johanna gaining sexual experience.

Well, then we cut to the next "practical" in which our Victorian
philosopher gives the girl a lesson in cunnilinguistics. Following this,
the erotic scent of her vulva is discussed and the implications for society
if *everyone* was able to smell this. This theme is developed, but again
this is not the place to go into it.

So, during the final "practical" the good Doctor goes all the way, thus
rendering the basis for the initial arguments superfluous. Well, that was
my feeling anyway. Let's not forget that Mr Bentham was a trusted friend of
both the girl and her father, and I could not help feeling that the trust,
at least of the father, was breeched in some way. In other words the
message from the story for a concerned father is "don't be a prat".

As for the story as a story, there is still quite a lot to say. The sex
scenes were well done, and if you are not into the heavy philosophy you
will still find a lot to stimulate the groin area. There is clearly a bond
of affection between the man and the girl which has grown from childhood.
One major criticism is that the initial argument with the girl's father is
too similar to the discussion between Bentham and the girl. His position
is, after all, emotional not rational, and I would have expected to see
considerably more fire, if only to give the remainder of the story some
dramatic impact.

There is a lot to think about here, if you prefer your sex more cerebral.
In fact one reason for me not going into detailed discussion is that I'm
convinced there is more to this story than one reading will yield. In the
end, though, I felt a little uneasy. For most, I suspect, it all turned out
right, but it all seemed rather cold and clinical - Utilitarian.

For me, you see, there are problems with Utilitarianism.


~>Pandora (story codes/genre) M/f cons / rite of passage
~>Athena (technical quality) 10
~>Venus (plot and character) 9.5
~>Nick (appeal to reviewer)  10
~>Links:
       Not archived - Uther please repost.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

"The Stud Always Cums Twice" by Kysa Braswell
        Email: variance@concentric.net
        Web: http://www.kysa-online.com/ ("parked" at time of review)
        Review by: Roger Raccoon

A few of the premises of "The Stud Always Cums Twice" could lead to a very
interesting and timely story.  A young married white couple wants children,
but can't get pregnant.  The husband turns out to be infertile.  The wife
still wants babies of her own, and wants to stay married, but doesn't want
to resort to all the modern technological interventions.

So far so good, but here the writer starts throwing in more offensive, silly,
and/or cliched notions than I could ever put up with.  A short list:

   1) All black men have huge penises.
   2) Sperm count is directly proportional to penis size.
   3) Seven inches is a tiny penis, and a white man (see #1)
      who has such a penis and who is infertile (see #2) deserves
      nothing but contempt because of it.
   4) All black men like to physically abuse their lovers during sex.
   5) Furthermore, a white woman who seeks a black lover deserves
      such abuse, and will readily admit it.
   6) Women will endure any amount of physical abuse from a lover if
      he has a big enough cock.
   7) When you get right down to it, penis size matters more than
      just about anything else in the world.

The best I can say about The Stud Always Cums Twice is the writing shows a
passable command of written English at the scale of sentence and paragraph.
If the grammar and structure had been less than competent, I would have
deep-sixed the story after the first page, because nothing else was there to
keep my interest as a reviewer or as a reader.  On a larger scale the story
has a lot of holes in it.  The persepective shifts around without warning, the
characterizations are shoddy and inconsistent, and the dialogue is stilted and
hollow.

I suppose Kysa may have meant this story to push people's buttons by breaking
taboos and being willing to offend.  There is nothing wrong with that in
itself, but such a story generally has to be better written than usual to
warrant the reader's attention.  "The Stud Always Cums Twice" falls far short
of that standard.

~> Pandora (Story Codes/Genre) BM/WF, inter, cuckold, size, preg
~> Athena (Technical & Grammar) 7
~> Venus (Plot and Character)   3
~> Raccoon (Appeal to Reviewer) 1
~> Links:
        http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18020.txt
        --
        http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=422435956

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"The Recurrent Fall of Eve" by Caroline Ashbee
        Email: caroline@ardgrain.demon.co.uk
        Web: http://www.ardgrain.demon.co.uk/overground/Caroline/
        Review by: Apuleius

The enigmatic title of this story refers to the traditional religious teachings
imposed upon a group of girls at a 1950s (presumably Catholic) school. We see
this insitution through the eyes of Meg, a young lady discovering the pleasures
of playing with oneself. Lest anyone should form the wrong idea of this story,
I should point out that this is no frivilous sexfest, as is commonly associated
with any mention of "schoolgirls" in the context of ASS/M. Rather, it is a
deeply serious and poignant account of one person's sexual self-discovery. At
just 21K, it packs a lot of emotional punch for its length.

This is not a "stroke" story. It includes a number of details which may be
off-putting to some (e.g. the many references to menstruation), and there
is very little in the way of explicit sexual description. What it does have is
a high level of technical and creative assurance, and a humanity that is
immediately appealing. An outstanding story.


~> Pandora (story codes/genre): f-solo / teenage rites-of-passage
~> Athena (technical quality): 10
~> Venus (plot and character development): 10
~> Apuleius (appeal to reviewer): 10
~> Links:
        http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17968.txt
        --
        http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=421475241

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"Kael's Diary" by Kael Goodman
        Email: at745@cleveland.freenet.edu
        Review by: Apuleius

One of the pleasures of browsing through newsgroup archives is that
occasionally, one discovers an exceptional, yet little-known story.
This is one such occasion.

Although the author shares the name of the diary's supposed author, and the
story is written in the first person, we are told that this is a fictional
account of Kael's life. The story consists of various "entries" dating from
1983-94, which describe the activities, sexual or otherwise, of a rather
intense young man, and his progression from adolescence into adulthood.
Together, these entries add up to an unsually long (249K) story. It is
unfinished, but the entires can stand on their own and there is ample
material to appreciate.

Kael has a highly variable love life. He has no trouble "getting" girls, but
he has trouble maintaining a serious relationship. His discovery of the reasons
why, and the effects of this upon his behaviour, forms one of the major themes
of the story. Interspersed throughout are observations on music, digressions
on acting, and liberal doses of Generation X-type angst.

Self-indulgent? Yes, to a certain extent, but entertainingly so. At several
points the story seemed reminiscent of that erotic literature classic,
Metlay's "The Bandit", in its portrayal of university life and the emotional
problems found within. The early sections are also reminiscent of that work
in their healthy nostalgia for the early 1980s: Walkmans, early MTV and the
second Indiana Jones movie (not as good as the first, according to Kael).

The story gets progressively darker as the action proceeds. In one of the
longest entries (June 1994), I found the sense of apathy to be almost
oppressive, particularly in relation to the lack of faithfulness to one's
partner. Yet this very fact demonstrates the author's not inconsiderable
writing talents. At times Goodman takes on an ironic humour recalling
that of Douglas Adams:

"The tee vee was on, perched atop a milk crate.  The tee vee had a nineteen
inch screen.  The milk crate was sixteen inches across.  The milk crate would
have looked a lot more comfortable and secure on top of the tee vee."

The sex is never particularly "hot", yet it is still effective within the
context of the story. It is also very physical, not in the sense of detailed
anatomical description, but in the sense that these are real people with faults
and failings. If a character has bad acne or stained teeth, Kael will say so.
This gives a heightened sense of realism to what is already a very "vivid"
story.

"Kael's Diary" is a moving and highly accomplished piece of writing. I strongly
recommend it.

~> Pandora (story codes/genre): mf MF cons/rom / romantic saga
~> Athena (technical quality): 10
~> Venus (plot and character development): 10
~> Apuleius (appeal to reviewer): 10
~> Links:
        http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17935.txt
        http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17936.txt
        --
        http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=420750560
        http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=420750590
 
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"Summer Story" by Richard Rivers
        Email: r_rivers@cryogen.com
        Review by: Apuleius

The author's codes for this story read: "M/F Sex, Asians, Seasonal Affective
Disorder". This last is not a term I am familiar with from Pendragon's FAQ.

The story is divided into two unequal parts (unequal in length, not in
quality). The first describes the efforts of Carla, a vivacious thirtysomething
divorcee, to find a new man. In doing so, she meets Kozue, a Japanese woman
in a similar situation. The second, and longer part is mostly concerned with
Kozue's reminiscences about her first time. This occurred with a foreign
classical musician while she was still a teenager. The two parts can stand
on their own, but readers may find their combination a little unsatisfying
due to the structural imbalance.

I shall keep silent about the likelihood of a Japanese schoolgirl wanting to
lose her virginity to a thirty-year-old foreign cellist, because, after all,
(everybody now) "this is a.s.s". In any case, I assigned a high personal
appeal to Sundance's "Teacher's Pet" a few weeks ago, a story with a similar
age difference, so I am in no position to raise objections here. That story
handled things rather differently to the present one, however.

The author tries hard to endow Kozue's situation with some bittersweet
poignancy about her changed life situation, and in this he is partially
successful. We know too little about her, however, for this to be really
effective. The sex itself is quite nicely done, if a little anticlimatic
(in dramatic, not physical terms). I would have given this story a 10
for technical quality, had it not been for the fact that Part 2 cuts off
in the middle of a sentence. The author subsequently reposted this part,
but it too is defective, degenerating into special characters and
repetitions of the same line. I emailed the author about this, but he
failed to reply. The story is therefore reviewed on this basis.

Even with the corrupted ending, this is a story likely to appeal to a
wide range of readers.

[After I wrote this review, the author added another part, which appeared
too late to be considered in this review. It was posted only to 
alt.sex.stories, for some reason, and is listed below. It too has major 
technical problems.]

~> Pandora (Story Codes/Genre)  MF, Mf 1st inter, cons / interracial first-time
~> Athena (Technical & Grammar)  7
~> Venus (Plot and Character)    8
~> Apuleius (Appeal to Reviewer) 8
~> Links:
        http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17933.txt
        http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18051.txt
        http://x6.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=431894795
 
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"Evening Rendezvous" by Tom Bombadil
        Email: Tombadil@aol.com
        Review by: Apuleius

Joanna and Timothy are teenage lovers who are meeting again after a hiatus of
two weeks - one week because she was grounded, and another because he had the
flu. Meanwhile, Joanna's parents have plans of their own together. This simple
yet delightful work is everything a story should be: tender, filled with
likeable characters, and with a surprise in the tail. It is almost like a
Pendragon story in its domestic-bliss-plus-playful-banter routine, a cross
between "April's First" and "For Now".

This is the kind of story that Celeste awarded top marks, and in her absence
I am happy to do the same.

~> Pandora (Story Codes/Genre)  MF mf rom / teen romance
~> Athena (Technical & Grammar) 10
~> Venus (Plot and Character) 10
~> Apuleius (Appeal to Reviewer) 10
~> Links:
        http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/18058.txt
        --
        http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=423560161


-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
=-=        Celestial Repost Project        =-=
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Celestial Reviews 2 - July 12, 1995 - by Celeste

Note: I guess I should have anticipated this, but I've started getting
requests from readers, asking me to send them copies of the stories I
review.  While I appreciate the interest, I cannot do this.  The main
reason is one of conscience and prudence: I'm not sure who the person is
who is requesting the story.  While I don't have problems with my own
older daughter reading any of the stories I reviewed in the first set, I
would object to someone sending these stories to my younger daughter.
In addition, one of the stories I just read for my next review is really a
bit degrading toward women, and I don't want to be the person who puts
that one in front of innocent readers.  (On the other hand, I do NOT
think my review will be a problem for these same readers.)  Another reason for
declining to send the stories is because I'm pretty busy teaching,
writing reviews, caring for my children, and fucking the brains out of my
husband.
 (Note: As I said in my FAQ, I try to review stories that can still be
found in the newsgroup postings.  This should help solve the problem.)


* "Pillow Fight" by Dulcinea.

This is the kind of romantic story I'd like to write myself.  I guess that's
because this is the kind of life I'd like to live myself.  Dulcinea does a
good job making a woman wish this were happening to her.  This is a playful
story with nothing kinky - just good, hot passion.  Way to go, Dulcinea!

[from repost in CR179:]

~> Athena (technical quality)   10
~> Venus (plot and character)   9
~> Celeste (appeal to reviewer) 10
~> Link:
       http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=198384798

[Editor's note: It is my sad duty to report, to those unaware of this
situation, that Dulcinea passed away in 1997. The wholesomeness and 
liveliness of her tales stood in marked contrast to the general
style of ASS/M, and she will be sorely missed - Ap.]


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* "eXstacy" by Wiley03

This is the kind of story Beevis and Butthead used to enjoy before they
learned to pick their noses and masturbate.  What we have here is a
quasi-literate description of a guy and his faithful sidekick who kidnap a
girl and juice her up with electrical current before they rape her.  Then
they relax for a while by hanging her from a hook from the ceiling of the
warehouse, while they beat her with a whip and a cane before they rape her
again.  The sex is oral, anal, and vaginal; and, like most women, she
realizes that she likes it and yearns for more.

I guess this is the sort of crap Senator Exon is upset about.  It makes
me feel kinda foolish about advocating free speech.  Here's one of the
greatest quotes, lifted directly with my cut-and-paste tool, so that I
could avoid the risk of altering even a single sibilant syllable:  "Her
eyes slits, her mouth pouting and mewling, she slinked her way across
the floor until she was between his legs, her prick jutting obscenely before
her."  It really said that.  Earlier in the story, the hero (or villain
- I'm kinda confused here)  "...arranged himself in a beanbag while he
slowly approached her."  People who can do that are dangerous.

On a more serious note, the heroine/victim/love-object was expecting to
get paid with a "twenty day supply of X" but she was hoping for more
like "a years (sic) supply of X."  Maybe I'm out of touch, but am I supposed
to know what X is?  I don't know if the author was using X as a place
holder and forgot to change it to cocaine or chocolate candy or something,
whether there really is a commodity called X that she hoped to acquire
as compensation for her services, or whether the author just has an extreme
respect for copyright laws and doesn't want to mention the trade name of
the beverage the players would consume to slake their thirst after the
festivities.

In spite of these brilliancies, there were some minor flaws in the
story. As our damsel put it so eloquently, while her lithe body jerked
uncontrollably on the hook: "Aaahhgg, no, arrgh, please, uh uh stop
please."

~> Celeste (personal appeal) 1
~> Link:
       Lost (thankfully)

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* "Crime of Love" by Boswell

This story gives us a dramatic contrast with the previous story.  It's
actually literate.  I suppose some people read this and find it sexually
enticing; but my own main reaction was fear and repulsion.  I felt the hatred
for women that the rapist felt in this story, and I felt the fear that his
victim felt.  I guess it should worry me that there are people who will think
this guy is really cool; but I really doubt that many men are going to develop
a new lifestyle as rapist simply because they read this story.  Its a bit like
some of Poe's tales. I doubt that many people ripped the heart out of old men
after reading the Telltale Heart, but that sure was a great story about a
bizarre person.

~> Celeste (appeal to reviewer) 5
~> Link:
       http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=340849253

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* "College" by deirdre

What strange things can happen to young girls at a private college?  Why do
memories of sexual events that never happened creep back into memory at odd
times?  This is a very short story, and it gets a short review.  I like much
of deirdre's writing, but this one didn't strike me as good as some of the
others.  It nicely sets a mood of mystery, but I'm still have no idea what
happened.  But that's the point!

~> Celeste (appeal to reviewer) 5.5
~> Link:
       http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=312561565

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* "First Time" by The Lady

Aside from the moral problems posed by incest, the most noticeable problem with
this story is that the little girl who gives head to her father while her
mother offers advice and plays with her pussy talks more like an
eight-year-old than the twelve-year-old she's supposed to be.  The moral and
developmental objections aside, it's actually a pretty clearly written story,
for people who like that sort of thing.

I guess the major problem with the story is that it's incomplete.  It's
sort of like reminiscing about the great time we had roasting marshmallows
on the living room carpet, while we ignore the fact that we destroyed
the carpet and practically burned down the house.  I think most psychologists
and sensible people would see problems in parents boinking their daughter
for the fun of it.  The rationale in the story is that the parents are
sexually active and love each other, are not ashamed to be naked in
front of their daughter, and want her to have a healthy respect for her own
body and sexuality.  Ditto at our house; but the time our daughter came upon
me and my husband making love, we stopped, continued to cuddle while he
covered his cock, and then had a nice talk with her later.  Asking her
to join in might have made for an interesting story - but maybe our way
would too.  Somebody out there oughta give it a try!

~> Celeste (appeal to reviewer) 5
~> Link:
       Lost, or too many stories of same title to determine.

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"Slippery When Wet" by Sue

I was going to read this story late at night and write the review right away,
but after a story like that I have to take a break and visit my husband.  He's
going to wake up with one hot mouth around his cock!  This was a truly erotic
story.  I can't do it justice by trying to summarize it - It's about a girl and
a guy who get into the fitness center jacuzzi after closing time.  Read the
story for the rest.

The only part that I didn't like at first was when they let the three
college kids join them in the jacuzzi.  Actually, I liked that part too;
but except for that part, I'd be ecstatic for a chance to do exactly
what the two of them did.  Sue has one of the best disclaimer's of all the
a.s.s. writers: "Reading and writing these stories should be acts of
fantasy, and I hope that you can keep your notions of real and fantasy
life separate in your mind. I know I can."  And so can I!

~> Celeste (appeal to reviewer) 10
~> Links:
        http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=206907472 (part 1)
        http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=206953298 (part 2)


-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
=-=               ~ Credits ~                 =-=
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Founder:

        Celeste
                Email: celeste801@aol.com

Editors:

        Apuleius
                Email:  apuleius@poboxes.com
                Web:    http://www.asstr.org/~apuleius

        Roger Raccoon
                Email:  procyonidae@hotmail.com


Reviewers / Contributors:

        Gnuyr
                Email: gnuyr2kx@aol.com

        Homer Vargas
                Email: the_story_writer@yahoo.com

        JayBird
                Email:  j_bird3@hotmail.com

        Jean
                Email: jw.revu@quihye.demon.co.uk

        MichaelD
                Email:  michaeld38@aol.com

        Miles Naismith
                Email:  mnaismith@hotmail.com
                Web:    http://www.asstr.org/~mnaismith

        Nick
                Email:  nick@cassandra.demon.co.uk
                Web:    http://www.asstr.org/~Nick/

        Phil
                Email:  phil@xanadu2000.freeserve.co.uk
                Web:    http://www.xanadu2000.freeserve.co.uk

        Rosemerry
                Email:  perigryn@earthlink.net
                
        Smoking Mirror
                Email:  smoking_mirror@hotmail.com

        Sundance
                Email:  sundance69@hotmail.com
                Web:    http://extra.newsguy.com/~suntales

        Tiramisu
                Email:  tiramixu@yahoo.com


-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
=-=                Disclaimer                 =-=
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

The editors of this publication wish to make clear that the reviews contained
herein are only the personal opinions of the respective reviewers, and do not
in any way constitute "definitive" assesments of the stories. While the editors
will not intentionally seek out stories with content distasteful to them and/or
the guest reviewers, they reserve the right, as do all ASS/M contributors, to
give their opinion on any story posted to the group. Requests by authors that
their stories not be reviewed will, however, be honoured.

The editors also wish to indicate that any criticism of a story does not imply
criticism of its author, and that anyone is welcome to write an alternative
review for this publication, should they dissent from the opinions expressed
about a particular story. The numerical ratings assigned to most stories should
be understood as subjective evaluations only, and the text of the review is
vital to the understanding of the ratings given.

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=-=                    End                    =-=
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