




                  TWENTY-SIX IS NOT TWENTY-FIVE

                               by

                            Joe Doe


JUDGE ASHLEY MARSH GETS DOWN TO SPECIFICS DURING A CONVERSATION 
WITH A SHERIFF.
 


"I know I'm just filling in for Judge Walters, Sheriff, but I'd 
like to inquire about some of your arrest procedures." 

"Why of course, Judge Marsh," the Sheriff replied.  "I'm always 
happy to cooperate with a member of the judiciary.  Especially 
when she's as big a honey-pie as you are." 

"Um...thank you, I think," Ashley said.  "Let's get down to 
business, Sheriff.  I was talking to a college student today 
who said that she was arrested for going 26 miles per hour...." 

"In a 25 miles-per-hour zone, your honor," the Sheriff interrupted. 
"Twenty-six is not twenty-five." 

"The student told me she was groped, handcuffed, and taken back to 
the station, where she was strip-searched by you in the presence of 
three of your male deputies." 

"Well, Leroy wasn't technically watching," the Sheriff replied.  
"He was monitoring the TV in the video room.  I mean, one of us 
has to make sure the taping is going okay.  Two is not three, Your 
Honor." 

"Very well, two in person, and one...recording," she said, trying 
not to show her exasperation. 

"I mean, I don't want to quibble, but I do try to be precise," the 
he went on.  "You being a lawyer and a big city judge, I'm sure 
you can appreciate that."

"Well, yes, I do.  It just seems unreasonable that you stripped 
that poor girl naked for going one mile over the speed limit." 

"We didn't actually strip her NAKED." 

"But, she said...."  Ashley was confused. 

"We let her keep her socks on.  She complained that the room was 
cold, and we thought it would be for the best.  I always try to 
be a gentlemen when it comes to the ladies.  Speaking of which, 
can I get you a glass of water?" 

"No, thank you." 

"A glass of tea?  Coffee?  Soda pop?  I'm buying!" 

"No, thank you, Sheriff.  If we could just get back to the 
subject...." 

"Heaven knows I don't mean to waste even a second of your precious 
time," he said.  "All I was saying was that the girl had her socks 
on.  And so she was not -- in point of fact -- totally naked." 

"I think the central issue is...." 

"I mean, let's say it was a day like today, and I arrested you," 
the Sheriff said, thoughtfully.  "Well, the floor is plenty warm 
today, on account of it's a scorcher.  So in that case you wouldn't 
need no socks.  I mean...YOU'd be naked." 

Ashley blinked, aware that she was losing control of the interview. 

"That's very interesting, but...." 

"Birthday bare!" the Sheriff said, brightly.  "Wearing nothing but 
a smile!  Starkers!  Naked as a newborn!  Butt naked, bare ass, 
positively 100% clothing-free...." 

"The point is, Sheriff, that she was a college student with no 
criminal record, barely over the speed limit...." 

"One mile over the limit!" the Sheriff corrected.  "Ever try to 
walk a whole mile?  I suppose I could if I were thinner, but I 
know I wouldn't want to, now.  Geez, imagine that!  A whole mile!  
The mind boggles -- it truly does." 

There was a long pause as the Sheriff tried to re-board his train of 
thought.  "Sure I can't get you a pop?" 

"No, thank you," Ashley sighed.  "In this case, the search and 
seizure laws were clearly violated.  Frankly, you shouldn't even 
have frisked her, you being a male, and...." 

"A search isn't a frisk," the Sheriff replied.  "I mean, I felt 
her up pretty good.  Apple boobies...ass tighter than a drum in 
a vise...smelled pretty sweet too.  But a search is not a frisk." 

"What I meant was...." 

But the Sheriff was on a roll.  "A search is when you strip a woman 
down to the bare essentials, if you'll pardon my French, and put 
her up in the stirrups.  Then you slip on the glove and give her a 
good feel.  And I'm not just talking about her mouth, neither.  I 
lubed up my finger and stuck it right into that tight little 
sorority snatch, I surely did.  And then I flipped her over like 
a flapjack and did her brownie, too.  Tight as a miser on Christmas 
Day, she was.  Snappy as a snapping turtle after a...." 

"I don't understand why...."  

"Of course you don't -- you're not from around here!" the Sheriff 
chuckled.  "You're just a big city judge on loan so Judge Walters 
can go fishing.  I mean, no offense, but it's pretty obvious you 
don't know bleep from Shinola.  I mean, any girl who's been in this 
town longer than a week knows the difference between 25 and 26.  
And she sure as hell knows the difference between getting frisked 
and getting her pussy poked!" 

"Well, maybe we should move past the search," Ashley said.  "The 
young lady in question told me that you actually...spanked her." 

"The hell I did!  Spankings are for kids.  What I did was turn her 
over my knee and whup her cute little ass good with my belt.  A 
whupping ain't a spanking.  Girls don't make all sorts of promises 
during a measly spanking.  Girls don't wiggle their bare heinies 
like go-go dancers during just a spanking.  Girls don't dance 
around naked, rubbing their bottoms after only a spanking." 

The Sheriff threw his hands up in the air.  "Would she have dropped 
to her knees, and sucked on my dick, and swallowed down my spunk 
like it was some sort of antidote, just to get out of a little old 
spanking?  I don't think so." 

"But to subject a grown and educated woman to such a juvenile 
punishment...." 

"Education don't matter none....  Heck, I bet if I took my belt 
to YOUR cute little behind, you'd suck my dick like it was your 
mommy's tit.  Besides, just because a woman is all grown up 
doesn't mean she can't be whupped like a naughty teenager, when 
she gets sassy." 

"But a spanking...a whupping?" Ashley said.  "On the bare bottom?" 

"Like I said, BEING an adult and ACTING like one are two totally 
separate things."  One don't have nothing to do with the other.  
Like 25 and 26." 

The Sheriff looked at his watch and smiled.  "And I think that 
pretty much brings this conversation full circle, Your Honor.  
Now it's time to get down to real business.  Isn't that your 
fancy car in the '30 MINUTE' parking zone in front of my office?" 

"Y-yesss.  But our meeting was at 2:00, and it's only just 2:30 
now," Ashley said, nervously. 

She swallowed as the Sheriff removed the handcuffs from his belt.  
"Actually, Your Honor, it IS 2:30 now, but you arrived at 1:59." 

The Sheriff's smile broadened as he clicked the cuff around 
Ashley's slender wrist.  "And 31 is not 30," he chuckled.


 
Edited by C. Lakewood

