Celestial Reviews 114 - Sept 4, 1996

Note: The big news this week has been that the owner of the most 
popular anonymous server in Finland has stopped offering that service.  
As I understand it, the cancellation of that service was not directly 
related to the sort of stories that anyone was posting to this 
newsgroup.  But I don’t want to discuss the reasons for the closing.  
Several readers have asked, “What can we do now?”  Here are some 
possible answers:

1.  Consider the possibility that you may not really need that much 
anonymity.  Unless your actual name appears in your e-mail address, you 
may already be as anonymous as you need to be.  If your concern is that 
someone else may both (a) know your address and (b) see that address 
associated with a dirty story, consider simply using two separate 
addresses: one for a.s.s. posting and another for your regular work.  A 
very large number of people who correspond with me do exactly this.  
This process is especially easy on AOL, since that service 
automatically supplies users with multiple e-mail addresses.

2.  Consider using one of the following services.  I know nothing about 
any of these.  I am simply repeating what a responsible person told me.  
If you want more information about any of these, you’ll have to find it 
from a source other than me.  Anyway, here are some anonymous remailers 
that may adequately replace the anon.petet.fi service:

http://www.penet.fi/>Penetic Page</a> <p>

http://www.cs.berkeley.edu/~raph/remailer-list.html

http://www.well.com/user/abacard/remail.html

http://www.stack.urc.tue.nl/~galactus/remailers/index.html

http://www.cs.berkeley.edu/~raph/ghio-remailer-help.html

http://www.replay.com/remailer/replay.html

http://www.stack.urc.tue.nl/~galactus/remailers/alpha.html

http://www.replay.com/people/usura/

http://www.ee.siue.edu/~avankla/mix.help.html

http://idiom.com/~wcs/pamphlet.html

http://www.jpunix.com/

http://www.obscura.com/~loki

I assume you can get information by checking these Web pages and 
looking for soomething like a FAQ.

- Celeste

     “Morningsong” by Mary Anne Mohanraj (wake-up call)
            10, 10, 10
      “Paint” by Mary Anne Mohanraj (old boyfriend)
            10, 9.5, 9
      “Tanya Fills In” by Mark Aster (sex fantasy) 10, 9, 9
     *"Do You Want It?" by Mark Aster (voyeurism and sex
            in the outdoors) 10, 10, 10
      “Father Dowling: I Am Heartily Sorry” by Uncle Mike 
            (sitcom parody) 10, 10, 10
      “Bobbi Sue’s Adventures” by Bobbi Sue (sluttish
            exhibitionism) 9.5, 9.5, 9.5
      “15 Minutes of Fame” by Grimalkin (sex in a public place)
            3, 8, 8
      *“Debby’s Dark Lust” by Vic S. (race fetish & fantasy)
            9.5, 10, 10
      “Ripping and Tearing” by Mr. B. (catfight & threesome)
            7, 7, 8

* = Repost of a previous review (because the story has recently
      been reposted).

“Morningsong” by Mary Anne Mohanraj (moh2@midway.uchicago.edu).  The 
lover is sleeping soundly, and the narrator is going to wake him up by 
gently maneuvering around him and stimulating his cock.  Normally I 
don’t like second-person (“you”) stories, but this author does it very 
well.  There is even a surprise ending to this very short story.

Ratings for “Morningsong”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

“Paint” by Mary Anne Mohanraj (moh2@midway.uchicago.edu).  When a 
favorite author writes a very short story like “Morningsong,” I am 
inclined to declare a bonus week and do a second story.  So here goes.

A young woman is helping her best friend paint an apartment.  Her 
former boyfriend, who is now dating the best friend, is helping too.  
It is a sweltering hot day.  When the best friend goes out for more 
paint, the other two go for an unscheduled quickie.

Ratings for “Paint”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9.5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

 “Tanya Fills In” by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com).  If you have 
followed the Allen Sisters saga through the 44 or so stories that Mark 
Aster has posted, you have met a lot of Pat and Julie’s friends.  Let’s 
see.  There’s Kayla, Suzy, Robin, Tracey, Chrissy and even Chrissy’s 
Mom, and, of course, Aunt Kate.  Some have had exotic names, like 
Midori and Alani. My own favorite has been Aurora Drake.  In fact, the 
next time Our Hero needs a break, I hope Aurora Drake fills in for him.

At any rate, Our Hero, who usually writes a weekly story, is on hiatus 
this week; and so Tanya is filling in.  It never occurred to me that 
fictional characters needed vacations, but apparently they do.  The 
last time we met Tanya, Our Hero was stroking in and out of her from 
behind, while she held on for dear life to the railing of the Phelps 
Avenue bridge and tried not to scream. There was also a beautiful but 
unnamed woman doing herself on a rock down below the bridge, and the 
women’s eyes met just as they both came.  What scares me is that when I 
tried to look this story up in my database, I got the title right on my 
first try, even though there’s no mention of Tanya or a bridge or 
anything in the title.  I’ll repost the review of that story - “Do You 
Want It?” - in the hope that the author will repost it for its topical 
interest.

The story ABOUT Tanya was better than this one BY Tanya; but that’s 
largely because the other was a hard act to follow.  In this one Tanya 
gets naked while she talks about her preferences in stories and then 
describes a story about her fucking a stranger while she waits for Pat 
or Julie.  Have these people no sense of morality?

Ratings for “Tanya Fills In”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9

*"Do You Want It?" by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com).  I've been lurking 
at my computer, ready to pounce on this author as soon as he makes a 
mistake.  He patiently sends me each of his stories shortly before he 
posts it, and I eagerly devour each one - expecting that the string of 
good stories will have to end.  After all, his plots are largely 
similar: hot sex between or among two or more friends or strangers of 
the same or different gender, usually with one or more persons watching 
and having sex while the featured couple or menage do their thing.  
That storyline eventually has to get boring, doesn't it?

Well, not yet.  Maybe it's because my computer was down for the last 
week or so, but I found this story to be one of Mark's most erotic 
ever.

I live my real life in an interestingly boring world where I have not 
yet and probably will never will utter the sentence, "Do you want it?" 
under circumstances quite the same as those depicted in this story.  
Mark Aster writes about an imaginary world where there are no sexually 
transmitted diseases and where casual sex is not likely to ruin some of 
the best things in life - in short, a world where recreational sex is 
almost always the wonderful fun that it is on the best occasions in my 
real life.

I would LIKE to live in Mark's world; and I do live there in my 
imagination.  If I did live there and if I came upon a really cute guy 
watching a really sexy girl masturbate, I'd look him straight in the 
eye and shock his socks off by asking him, "Do you want it?"  Then I'd 
casually remove whatever clothing would obscure and impede his access 
to my ass and pussy, and I'd lean on the bridge in front of him, so 
that I could watch the lady do her work and so that he would have to 
look past me to see her.  I'd let him fondle, kiss, penetrate, and 
generally do wonderful things to my anatomy.  I'd let my pussy muscles 
return the favor without distracting me even a moment from the 
interesting object of our mutual admiration; and when the young lady 
that originally attracted his interest would eventually look up, I'd 
lock eyes with her and let her know across the distance that I was 
every bit as happy as she was  As a final touch that the author did not 
think of, I'd wink when I managed to time my climax with hers.

I don't live in Mark's imaginary world, but my husband has his Sports 
Illustrated swimsuit calendar near my computer.  While I read Mark's 
story after school this afternoon, I found myself glancing at that 
calendar; and Miss April and I managed to merge Mark's world with my 
own in a way that made me very happy.  As I'm writing this review, Miss 
April is still there, and I'm getting horny again; and as soon as I 
finish this sentence, I'm going to head for the bedroom, summarize this 
story to my husband, and see if he wants it.

It's now morning; and he did want it - twice!  That's a total of five 
raging orgasms in less than 24 hours from one story!  I suggest you 
read it.

It's now late afternoon. I made it through the day with all those sexy 
people in the teachers' lounge without giving way to my lust.  As I 
glanced back over this story before writing the next review, I realized 
that there's one more idea that I wanted to mention.  I have on several 
occasions commented on interracial sex.  I think it's wonderful that 
people want to make love to people of other races; but I have expressed 
concern that so many of the newsgroup stories focus on people of one 
race humiliating those of another.  Or Black men are often described as 
possessing animalistic qualities that make them distinctly different 
from their white counterparts.  The present story handled interracial 
sex wonderfully.  The woman who was masturbating while reading her book 
was a Black woman.  There was no implication that there was anything 
abnormal about the woman - in the author's imaginary world all sensible 
people are sexy and sensuous and give pleasure to themselves and to 
others.  But neither the woman's personality nor the color of her skin 
was irrelevant; rather these factors were treated as a natural part of 
a hot story.

Skin color is not invisible.  I like my own skin.  I love to run my 
fingers over it, especially when I'm turned on; and I hate its 
blemishes - although my husband claims these make me more attractive.  
My skin happens to be white and my hair happens to be dark and my eyes 
brown.  These are very sexy skin, hair, and eyes; and so were those of 
the woman in the story and of the model on the calendar.  It's 
beautiful and natural to take all of these things into consideration 
when telling or reading a story about sexy people.  What I am trying to 
say is that an unexpected extra of this story is that the author 
managed to introduce race in such a natural way that it simply became a 
realistic, natural part of what I would normally notice in a sexy 
setting.  I really liked the way he handled that detail.

Ratings for "Do You Want It?"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
 
“Father Dowling: I Am Heartily Sorry” by Uncle Mike 
(fr582@cleveland.Freenet.Edu).  I have never watched an entire episode 
of “Father Dowling.”  I may be wrong, but I had the impression that it 
had something to do with a priest and nun working together to solve 
crimes; but this story has no detective work in it.  Since I know so 
little, I won’t try to comment any further than that on how well this 
story works as a parody.

The story focuses on Father Prestwick, who is hearing confessions.  
Most of the penitents are old ladies and children, whose “sins” are 
boring; but then in comes Mrs. Klimaszewski, the woman in her early 
30’s who wears no bra and whose husband is out of town and who 
confesses her sins of masturbating and getting it on with the newspaper 
boy.  Since that session has already turned him on, Father feels 
predisposed to prod <g> a little when Sister Stephanie comes in to 
confess her sins; and pretty soon Sister Steve has another sin - or 
several sins, depending on how you count - to confess the next time she 
drops by the confessional.

I honestly believe that Catholic priests have gotten a bad rap in 
recent years.  I think they are every bit as upright and virtuous, 
although certainly not as intelligent, as English teachers; and I 
really don’t think they are any more likely to behave unprofessionally 
than other people who work closely with people.  I really doubt that 
the sort of thing described in this story happens very often.  But it 
sure makes a good story!

Ratings for “Father Dowling”
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

“Bobbi Sue’s Adventures” by Bobbi Sue (an100013@maedata.com).  The last 
time I had checked, there were 13 of these Adventures.  We’re now at 
Adventures 20 and 21, and I presume there will be more to come.  They 
purport to be an autobiographical account of what happened to a 30-year 
old woman when she discovered this newsgroup and started having 
fantasies and then acting out those fantasies.  As I said previously, 
I’m skeptical that she actually DID all the things described in these 
stories; but I have truly enjoyed the fantasies, and so if Bobbi Sue 
wants to say these things really happened, who am I to argue?

Bobbi Sue slipped gradually but eagerly into depravity; and as my old 
math teacher would say, it was a geometric, not linear, progression. 
First she read the stories and then jumped her husband’s bones when he 
got home; then she began to masturbate after reading the stories; and 
soon she found herself selecting carrots and cucumbers at the market 
based on how she thought they would fill her pussy. Then she began 
going nearly naked during her noontime run and flaunted herself to a 
passing biker. Pretty soon she was doing the biker and his friends and 
anyone else she could find.

Like many weekly TV shows: the pilot episode was really excellent, but 
the subsequent episodes never quite lived up to the expectations set by 
the pilot. I think it is possible that the first story was close to 
literally true (as the author claims); but (as I said earlier) I am 
skeptical about the literal veracity of the subsequent episodes.  I 
don’t mean to offend the author with that previous sentence.  If 
someone is going to write sexy stories, it’s more important to be sexy 
than truthful; but perhaps it’s not necessary to claim to be “perfectly 
truthful” when this is not the case.

Taken together as one large story, these represent very good erotic 
material.  Bobbi Sue comes across as the consummate exhibitionist. 
There continues to be consistency but also variety in Bobbi Sue’s Merry 
Adventures.  For example, whereas she started as a runner seducing 
bikers back in Adventure 1, in Adventure 21 she goes out into the 
middle of a lake in a boat, flashes some guys on jet skis, and fucks 
both of them in plain view of the guys with binoculars on the shore 
line.  The she returns to the cabin, where she gets it in the pussy, 
mouth, and ass from her hubby and their recently divorced friend who 
needs comforting.

Bobbi’s Adventures are probably a bad idea.  I mean, in real life Bobbi 
Sue would be a 5'1",105 lb., 34A-22-34 walking death trap. But she’s a 
very hot fantasy.

Ratings for “Bobbi Sue's Adventures”
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 9.5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5

“15 Minutes of Fame” by Grimalkin.  One of the first stories I ever 
reviewed was by this author.  In the premier issue of Celestial Reviews 
I rated “Amanda” a “2” and referred to it as an “illiterate story about 
an actress.”  Since the story apparently sucked, I am not going to 
bother reposting that review; but I imagine I would have giving it a 
different rating with my new system.  The present story is “an 
illiterate story about two people fucking in an elevator.”  But once 
you get past the illiteracy, the story is not all that bad.  And the 
illiteracy isn’t all that bad either - just run-on sentences, dangling 
modifiers, missing apostrophes - generally the sort of thing a ten-
year-old American girl or fifteen-year-old American boy would write if 
they knew anything about fucking in elevators - or lifts, as the Brits 
call them.

Ratings for “15 Minutes of Fame”
Athena (technical quality): 3
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8

*“Debby’s Dark Lust” by Vic S.  Debby started married life as a demure 
little lady, and Todd has done his best to bring her along to where she 
enjoys things that she previously would not have liked at all.  Todd 
has often disclosed his own fantasies to his wife, but suddenly Debby 
has expanded on his fantasies by saying she’d like to make it with the 
new caretaker of the nearby lighthouse.  The caretaker is a black man, 
and Debby and Todd have surmised that therefore he is well hung.  It 
turns out that for over 15 years Debby has had a fetish for having sex 
with a black man, and this fetish is perfectly compatible with Todd’s 
own desire to see his wife get screwed by a man with a large cock.  
Therefore, they start making plans to turn fantasy into reality; and 
while doing so, their own lovemaking becomes more intense and better 
than it has ever been before.

The sex scene with the caretaker is highly erotic, as are several of 
the fantasies and husband-wife scenes.  The author does an excellent 
job of moving back and forth between the viewpoints of the husband and 
wife, describing the thoughts of each from the limited perspective of 
what each knows about what the other is thinking and feeling.  
Actually, ALL the sex is pretty hot; so read the story and check it out 
for yourselves.

In a way this story is typical propaganda for the swinging lifestyle; I 
doubt that many swingers are as ecstatically happy as these people are.  
On the other hand, I doubt that as many people in ordinary marriages 
are as ecstatically happy as they hope to be.  But fantasies can be 
ideal; and this one is certainly a hot story.

As I’ve mentioned before, my sister is married to a black man.  He 
would dislike this story, but that’s because he thinks pornography is 
the bane of society. He’s actually a fine guy; he just has a religious 
insight that sex is a personal thing that is not supposed to titillate 
strangers and lead children down the path to hell.  I happen to know 
that his fully engorged cock is about the same size as my husband’s and 
all the other husbands’ of the girls on our volleyball team - but he 
doesn’t know I know that, and so I can’t discuss this story with him.  
Likewise, although my sister herself knows I am a pervert with a dirty 
mind, she doesn’t know about alt.sex.stories; and so I can’t discuss 
this story with her either.

My impression is that stories that suggest that black men have “monster 
cocks” with which they are eager to “service” white women are often 
offensive to most black people and that they probably help perpetuate a 
stereotype that leads to divisiveness in our society.  I have discussed 
the matter with the author of this story, and he insists that he and 
his friends have a “race fetish” and that he means no disrespect 
towards blacks.  In fact, he treats black studs with great respect, and 
they certainly seem to like the activity they share with him and his 
wife.  I myself will probably never seek a black stud, but that’s 
largely because I have this thing called a wonderful relationship with 
my husband.  I DO fantasize about black men (as well as white men); but 
I honestly think I’m dealing with their whole personalities.  {Not to 
digress - but I used to have a fantasy that involved O. J. Simpson; but 
I got over it recently.  Interesting “personality” there!}

My own evaluation is that this story does NOT promote improper 
stereotypes.  It’s just a story about oversexed people who engage in 
impressive sexual activities.  Sure the black guy has his brain in his 
cock; but so do the other characters - that’s a compliment on this 
newsgroup. I’d like to hear what anyone else has to say.

Ratings for “Debby’s Dark Lust”
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

“Ripping and Tearing” by Mr. B. (bhorvath@earthlink.net).  The 
narrator’s boyfriend looks like Steven Segal, except that he (the 
boyfriend, that is) has a 10-inch cock.  They met while they were 
standing in line at the door of the bathroom at a fraternity party.  
(From what I hear, maybe that WAS Steven Segal!)  When you say that a 
guy who has consumed maybe two gallons of beer and is standing outside 
a locked bathroom door “has that Steven Segal look,” exactly what does 
that mean?  What would Steven Segal look like when he’s drunk and about 
to pee in his pants?  Probably a lot like Peewee Herman under the same 
circumstances.  But I digress.  Back to the story!

After lengthy preliminaries, Karen goes to Steve’s house to pick up her 
books, so that she can study for finals.  Another woman answers the 
door, wearing the nice shirt that Karen had given Steve.  That does it!  
It’s catfight time.  Then it’s ff sex time. Then it’s threesome time.  
I thought the build-up was unnecessarily slow - too many absolutely 
nonessential details; but the actual sex scenes were very hot.

Although I can see how it might be sexy, I have never been directly 
involved in a catfight.  My favorite near-catfight experience occurred 
when I was called to school because my daughter had been in a fight.  
Witnesses said that another girl had accused my daughter of flirting 
with her boyfriend.  Unfortunately - or fortunately, depending on your 
perspective - but certainly interestingly, my daughter is highly 
skilled in the martial (not marital) arts.  The other girl wound up 
with a severely dislocated shoulder.  The boyfriend tried to intervene, 
and it’s unlikely that his severe bruises in a vital area permitted him 
to be sexually active for the rest of the week.  The witnesses verified 
that my daughter had made only defensive moves.  I think my story is 
interesting, but Mr. B’s is probably sexier.  The main sexual advantage 
for my daughter was that really weird people left her alone after that 
incident.

Ratings for “Ripping and Tearing”
Athena (technical quality): 7
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8

