Corbin

College

Chapter 9

**********
 
I HAVE NO FREAKING CLUE WHAT I AM DOING!

I make grammar mistakes, spelling mistakes, I hate writing, I hate computers!

This Sucks! 

But I enjoy sharing all of this, besides the walk down memory lane is great. (Sometimes).

Anyway I'm listening to the Rolling Stones as I type this, not their new stuff, the classical stuff.
 
Speaking of Music, I like all music that has a good beat to it, except Country-cowshit-boot-kicking riding-
on-the-range bullshit. I mean really now all those country music songs sound the fucking same. Guys 
singing about what!!? I'll tell you what, their woman left them, their horse has gone lame and their dog 
died WHAA WHAAA Cry me a river. And why do those guys wear those big hats? Cause their bald 
underneath just suck it up and face facts Rogaine didn't work for you so now you plop a giant hat on your 
head to cover of your baldness you are fooling NO ONE!!
 
So, I guess I should clarify my previous statement; other then Country, I listen to Hip-Hop, R&B, 
Classical, Metal, Alternative. Like I said the whole spectrum (Except country): Godsmack, POD, System of 
a Down, No Doubt, Mary J. Blige, Chili Peppers, Norah Jones, Josh Groban, Evanescence, Dido, Joss 
Stone, U2 just to name a few.  
 
I thought my friend Nikki would kill me when I threw out her Justin Timberlake CD, although I claimed I 
lost it. I think she knew I threw it out when I told her I borrowed it and then said I lost it, only to refuse 
and buy her a replacement. Timberlake PUUHHLLEASE, give me a break, what was she thinking, I did 
her a favor. I would have disowned her as a friend if I found a Brittany Spears or Christina CD in her pile. 
Those cheap-breast-implanted no talent whores I don't know what you guys see in them, well other then 
your dicks I suppose. I guess I just answered my own question, yuck gross! How can you guys dream of 
sleeping with those girls and their revolving man-doors!
  
So now that I have gotten all of the angst out of my system we may begin...

**********
 
Walking into the nearly deserted gym after Christmas break I instantly noticed I was not alone. Now this 
displeased me greatly as it was my intention to head back to school a little early for some privacy and 
refocus on getting back into the 'swing of things'. The gym was not at all crowded, but two occupants 
where there; A black guy and a white guy, 'And boy do they seem to be in full juvenile mode', so I 
proceeded to warm up on the furthest end of the weight room. 
 
Normally I wouldn't start with the bench press but it was as far from the two clowns as I could get. 
However 'Loser #1' the white guy and 'Loser 
#2' the black guy, as I affectionately referred to them, had other plans:

"Hey little lady, mind if we cut in?" Loser #1 said and smiled over at his buddy 'Loser #2', as he made the 
comment, as if they were some comedy team. I was totally unable to fathom why both thought the "little-
lady" comment was worthy of a chuckle. 'And why in the hell did they come all the way over here?' when 
I had purposely selected the machine furthest away from them! 
 
'Why?' was easy to answer from a man's perspective their 'chick radar' had gone off instantly when I 
walked in. I already had become the focus of much male attention on Campus, but my focus on studies 
and athletics while keeping everyone at 'arms length' put me in the realm of 'total snob' in most male 
eyes. Some guys, like the one's here in the gym took the 'go for broke' attitude, where they just would 
interject themselves hoping to strike up a conversation or something. The closer they got to me the 
harder it was for either guy to take their eyes off of me, or maybe my toned leg muscles? My arms maybe? 
Or a hint of cleavage from the shirt I was wearing? I was damn proud of my breasts! 

(WOW when did my ego get so big! On a side note most women just immediately went to trashing me, 
flat out saying my boobs were fake because they don't sag at all or they are TOO perfectly proportional! 
HUH!!??? Whatever! Fortunately my friends on my soccer team adamantly defended me, having seen 
them up close in the showers, they are the real deal! Thankfully as I've mentioned, 'lifting' has helped 
reduce their size to a 'c' cup. I could go on a tangent how I think Nikki's are the most beautiful set of 
breasts around but I'll stop for now. Besides I'm sick of talking about my boobs, and sick of other people 
talking about them, they're just boobs for crying out loud! No you can't see them and no you can't touch 
them! Yeah guys will come right out and ask that crap! How rude!).

Damn, where was I?

Oh yeah...I brought my head up off the bench just long enough to say: 
"One more set." and I did something I had never done before, my temper totally flared and I reached back 
with my right arm and yanked the pin out and slammed it into the very bottom weight. I was so flustered 
I couldn't recall how much it was and carefully repositioned myself under the bar, 'Please God, Please 
don't let me make a fool out of myself' and with that I poured every bit of hate, love, disappointment, 
anger, resentment into the press; My muscles slowly flexed, like some locomotive building up speed and 
then amazingly the bar slowly lifted, I knew I was having to put everything I had into it, but even with 
shaking arms the bar went all the way up! 

Daringly and with renewed hope I tried to repeat the maneuver although my heart felt like it would 
burst, but not from pumping the weights, but for this moment of exhilaration to maybe shut these guys 
down! I managed to push up a fourth time when my body warned me it was about to expire and I 
slowly...gently set the bar down. My Lord what did I just accomplish! My little stunt apparently had some 
effect as the two buffoons stood silent during my reps and I took a deep breath as I slowly sat up, my 
body wet from perspiration. 

'Loser #1' was standing closest and looked dumb struck when I stood, I was now eye-to-eye with him, my 
5'10"+ frame was imposing and I simply said, "It's all yours big boy." with a coy smile that obviously 
caught the guy a little off guard.
 
That comment was totally out of character for me and I turned around and stood about five feet away 
placing my hands on my hips to watch. 'Loser #1' looked down at the weights, it was the moment I had 
been waiting for, but then my eyes bugged out a little when I saw the pin was inserted on the bottom 
weight and it read: 250lbs' and I actually staggered back a couple of steps in disbelief. 'It's not the same as 
bench pressing 250lbs of free weights, but still.' 

I was impressed with myself!
 
Another smug look came over my face it didn't look like he was going to be able to pull it off. 'Either he 
was about to make an ass of himself in trying to match me or admit he can't and move the pin.'
 
He shook his head and pulled the pin out looking over his shoulder to his 
Friend "That's got me beat."
 
"Damn girl! What kind of 'roids are you taking?" Loser #2 asked in a tone 
that hinted a return of their prior smart-aleck attitude.
 
"It's called eating healthy and taking your vitamins, you guys might want to substitute that into your diet 
of beer and cigarettes." I just flipped my towel over my left shoulder and spun around on my toes "Later 
guys!" I waved, even though I had on my baggy work out shorts they continued to watch me walk away, 
didn't seem to hinder guys from staring at my butt, or maybe they were infatuated with the cool ponytail 
I had pulled my hair into? 
 
For the first time since my night with Nikki several days ago I was walking on Cloud Nine, or Seventh 
Heaven?! Feeling totally exhilarated my fast pace walk turned into a light jog as I was now practically 
running back to my dorm room with joy. Why? I have no clue why! I just do goofy things sometimes.
 
Back at my room I quickly started to undress and as I pulled off my shorts and top I stood in front of the 
mirror, my white silk panties were soaked with perspiration as was my bra. Looking at my sweating, 
toned body in the mirror, it was the first time I can remember in a long time coming off a workout and 
feeling so incredibly proud of my body, and horny! 'Oh my god' I thought as I eyed myself I was actually 
getting turned on by everything that had happened in the gym and how I looked in the mirror.
 
"To hell with it." I mumbled and peeled off my underwear and laid back on my bed. Slowly my left hand 
moved over my sweaty chest, stopping briefly over my hard nipples before moving on as my fingertips felt 
the rolls of muscle along my abs sending a warming sensation thru my vagina. Slowly I closed my eyes 
and tilted my head back. I was surprised that it took no fantasy to increase my state of arousal, just the 
simple touches I gave myself as I explored my body. Honestly I was thinking of Nikki, images of what we 
did that night back at my house keep flooding back. Finally when I felt ready I pulled my knees up, my 
sticky vaginal lips parted as my right hand moved down to hold them open as my left forefinger gently 
began to graze over the top of my clit. My chest heaved a few times as I sought to delay the building 
orgasm as my finger continued it's teasing, light touches. Periodically I would bring my hand back up and 
pinch my nipples which caused my body to begin a slow convulsion on the bed. My first orgasm was 
nothing more then an intense shiver, my second elicited an audible moan from my throat and I sped up 
the strokes and pressure on my clit as I allowed myself to moan until I had to roll my head over and bit 
back a scream into the pillow. My whole body beginning a squirming and thrashing dance on the bed 
until I finally pulled my finger away from my overly sensitive privates. I let the pillowcase free from my 
jaws my eyes remained closed as I rolled my head back around, gasping for air.

Totally sated (and trust me I was) only my eyes moved as I blinked, concentrating only on the sound of 
my breathing and the wonderful intensity that I had just experienced.

Not surprisingly I thought about Nikki, she was due back at School tomorrow and my reaction was a 
telling one, my lips formed into a broad smile and a warm glow spread inside my tummy. Feeling a bit 
daring I reached for my phone and called her.

"Hi love!" Nikki almost squealed on the other end of the line, "I was going to call you!"

"I called you first!" I teased.

"What are you doing?" Nik asked.

"Thinking of you." I sighed.

"That's nice." Nikki said back into the phone her voice taking on that luscious tone that only she can 
accentuate.

I taunted with the idea of telling her I was naked but passed, I was already blushing so many shades of 
red as I rolled over on my stomach totally nude. I just laid there as we talked to one another, lost in the 
other's voices, each knowing that for awhile we would have to enjoy each other's company in private, 
neither of us ready to publicly commit.
 
**********
 
Nikki and I were both were stumped by our newfound relationship, and love for one another. Yet we each 
were trying to reconcile how to eventually 'come out' and tell our friends and family and how would they 
all react? Not to mention Nik was seriously dating Rob at the time, so the more time we spent together 
the more she worried he might become suspicious. To make matters worse Nikki was starting to keep 
him more at arms length as she became more intimate with me.

I'm such a home wrecker! ;)

**********

Always some new drama lurking around every corner it seems, Nikki and I were simply walking back 
from Soccer practice one day when she hesitated and pulled me aside, "Look I need to talk to you about 
something, but you have to promise me that you will not repeat what I am about to tell you, 
understand?" Nikki urgently said. I froze, the gravity of the comment caused me to become rooted to the 
cement sidewalk, "What is it?" I leaned in and asked in my quietest voice.
 
Nikki smiled a little when she saw the effect it was having and touched my left forearm reassuringly, "I'm 
sorry I don't mean to be dramatic, its just that, I was sworn to secrecy and telling you would mean 
breaking a promise."
 
"Come on, please, you're killing me here." I nervously smiled.
 
"Well, every new freshmen on the Soccer team goes through a...uhmmm," 
Nikki seemed to tense and bite her lower lip while searching for the right 
words.
 
"Through what?" I leaned in some more intensely studying her face for some information.
 
"A type of initiation ceremony." Nikki paused and looked into my eyes for some initial reaction.
 
"Why kind of initiation ceremony?" I leaned back as my eyes did in fact narrow with suspicion.
 
"It could be any number of things, kind of like a right-of-passage, it's very harmless." her voice steady and 
her gaze even but she could tell I was getting irritated.
 
"You mean a HAZING ritual!" I face turned grave, serious and even a bit angry.
 
Nikki wasn't going to refute that reference for in fact that's exactly what it was. "You've been in sports 
before Corbin, haven't you ever been thru something like this back in High School?"
 
"No." I said firmly.
 
"But YOU know what I am talking about right?" 
 
"Yes." I replied, "Look Nikki, what the hell is this all about? Could you give me a few details?" 
 
"You came into the season a little later then the other girls on the team. And They've already been thru 
it..."
 
"Did you go thru 'it'?" I returned Nikki's hard stare.
 
"It's not bad at all." Nikki said calmly. 
 
"But it's degrading...and humiliating...right?" I raised my left eyebrow knowingly and Nikki just stood in 
silence and watched. Nikki's lips pressed together and her eyelids closed as if to think and then she 
opened her eyes when she was ready to respond, "Yes."

I tried to remain calm at first, I took a deep breath as if contemplating the whole thing and then brought 
my left hand up pointing past Nikki's right shoulder in the direction of the Soccer field, "All I want to do 
is play soccer and if any of those idiots even lay a finger on me things will get pretty ugly and they'll be 
the ones on the receiving end of UGLY!"
 
Nikki watched me suddenly turn around and walk in the direction of my dorm. I knew Nikki was trailing 
behind me and that was okay, I flipped on the light switch to my room and sat down on the edge of my 
bed, slowly stretching my legs out in front as my body leaned back until my shoulders touched the wall 
behind me.
 
Nikki sat down on Sharon's bed and silently watched and waited, "What?" 
She asked softly when I opened my eyes finally.
 
"I was just thinking..." My eyes fluttered and then fully opened, "...it would be nice to have your outlook 
on things...life...people...you never seem to get stressed."
 
Nikki smiled and bowed her head in thought her long straight hair hung down swaying like black rain 
that would never touch the ground. Nikki knew exactly of what I spoke of, she was deeply involved in 
Yoga, Martial Arts, and spent hours studying various meditation techniques. With a quick jerk upright 
her head came around flipping her hair up and over her right shoulder, "Oh you handle things very well 
Corbin, in fact, you seem to have your own calm, determined exterior..."
 
"Even if things are boiling over on the inside?" I smiled and leaned forward quickly.
 
"Things boil over for everyone on the inside, some just deal with it differently on the outside." Nikki 
smiled knowingly.
 
I raised a suspicious eyebrow. Still it was hard for me to imagine what Nikki was going thru sometimes, 
the way she seemed to exude such calm, easy going charm.

**********

I watched the drops of sweat cling to my strands of hair and then after a few seconds break free and hit 
the tile floor of the locker room. I smiled and shook my head watching several more drops of sweat 
splatter on the ground, I had found another simple distraction to amuse myself, yes I know...I am silly 
and goofy.

I was exhausted from practice and it felt wonderful. Physically pushing myself to new limits seemed the 
best way to tap into that feeling of being alive. But the hushed voices of several women broke my 
daydreaming and I sat upright with a quick jolt, quickly forgetting about my pain and bruising. My heart 
began to pound without mercy 'Oh fuck, this is it!' I watched one of my teammates close the door and 
lock it, the sound of another latching door came from behind and caused me to take a quick glance over 
my shoulder. The only other exit out of the women's locker room was effectively sealed off, several 
members of the team milled about with mischievous smiles on their faces and it was Katie the Team 
Captain that had the most amused look on her face. My eyes darted around the room and found Nikki in 
the very back of the throng of girl's, she had a sympathetic look on her face but I knew no help was to be 
found there.
 
'Fuck, it was just last night that Nikki had warned me about this. She had to have known it would be 
tonight.' I blinked several more times and slowly stood up.
 
"Are you a natural blonde Corbin?" Katie stepped forward and a burst of muffled giggles went up from 
the girls in front of and behind me. It sent a chill up my spine.
 
"What? You know I am, why?" I replied with a faint but nervous smile. A pointless question indeed, I had 
taken showers with the girls before and they knew I was blonde, above and below deck. From behind her 
back Katie pulled her left hand and set a box of on the end of bench. It only took a second to realize the 
contents, it was hair coloring and then she withdrew her right hand and set a Bic razor down on the 
bench next to the box of hair color. Before I could even speak Katie sneered, "You get a choice, you can 
either get a dye job up top and down below, OR get shaved, and I'm not talking about shaving your 
head." again some muffled giggles went up from the crowd.
 
"What?" I took a step back but ran into the lockers and thus out of maneuvering room. Six girls stood, 
arms folded, to my right while about seven closed in from my left.
 
"Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way, what will it be? And I don't mind telling you we are 
anticipating doing it the hard way, but we all like that, makes the whole experience that much more 
exciting."
 
My heart thundered I couldn't believe what I was seeing and hearing and what was about to happen. 
"Come on guys what are you talking about?" I nervously rung my hands together, I had also started to 
twitch nervously, I blink fast when I get scarred. Katie just watched without mercy, in fact, there was not 
a merciful eye in the entire group (except Nikki). They all had a bone to pick with me and my standoffish 
personality. 

Katie the Team Captain was semi-attractive with shoulder length dark, brown hair that was naturally 
curly more so in the warm, humid days. She was naturally olive in her skin complexion and stood about 5' 
9". She was very athletic and had a small chest, but she was a girl that demanded respect; She was The 
Senior person on the team, smart and fair. But now all I could think was about how every bit of 
compassion and caring had left those eyes.
 
"What do you think we are going to do with that razor?" Katie asked.
 
"I don't know." I clenched and unclenched my left fist.
 
"Yes you do, say it!" Katie taunted.
 
"Shave my legs?" I nervously replied my voice cracked with tension. Katie and the rest of the team 
laughed for the briefest of seconds, "No my dear, like I said, you get a choice; Pink pussy hair or no pussy 
hair, you've got five seconds to decide."
 
"What? What? Five? You must be kidding!" I babbled.
 
"Times up!" Katie smiled, "I've decided you're going to get a shave!" and a cheer of whistles and claps 
went up shaking me to my very core. 
 
'Oh my god, they are serious!' It dawned on me they were going to strip me and shave me.

"GET HER!" Katie yelled and lunged. 

Now sometimes things move fast and sometimes things move slow, depending on where you stand. But I 
actually had time to reflect on something Nikki told me; 'Do not resist, that it would only make things go 
worse, much worse.'

While I respected Nikki's opinion I had decided that there was no fucking way I was going down without 
a fight!
 
Katie charged first, but I moved so fast I don't think Katie even realized what was going on until after I 
deflected her attack and she was skidding face-first towards the tile floor, quickly she outstretched her 
hands and broke the fall as her arms and legs splattered in all directions. She hit the deck with a loud 
'OUFF', I think it unnerved her to be thrown aside like that, but like I said I'm allot stronger then most 
girls, and guys.
 
"Get that bitch!" Katie sprang to her feet and spun around with a look of bewilderment. In just a few 
chaotic seconds I was already semi-sitting on one girl and had two more snared in separate head locks 
under my left and right arms respectively. The rest of the girls were prying at my arms and neck trying to 
dislodge me from the three trapped girls who were screaming for help. The muscles lining my arms flexed 
and Katie knew that I was probably in panic mode, not realizing I was probably hurting them.
 
Nikki had taken a backseat to the whole affair, and what a spectacle it was...
 
"Watch it, that's my fucking leg!"
 
"Who's biting me?"
 
"She's choking me! GET HER OFF!"
 
"AHHH! That's my breast, watch it!"
 
"What the fuck, take her down!" Katie yelled.
 
"What the fuck do you think we're trying to do!" A girl yelled back. 

I had taken at least four girls out of commission already, they were rolling on the floor nursing their 
wounds. But I knew it was probably only a matter of time as the remaining team members organized into 
an all out charge.

"FUCK!" A girl yelled as her clawing fingers couldn't hold as I broke loose and jumped the dividing bench.
 
"You fucking bitch, I'm going to kill you!" Yelled Mora, the hot-blooded Latino of the team, she stood 
nursing an elbow I just gave her to the side of the head. 
 
"Sorry about that." I said to Mora, I was always apologetic, as my hazel eyes darted defensively around the 
room. 
 
"You're going to be so sorry bitch!" Mora snapped, spit flew off her ragging lips. Damn she seems pissed! 
 
With a loud metal clatter I voluntarily slammed my back into the opposing row of lockers to take a 
breather. I was free but only for a second, my vision was partially obstructed by loose strands of my 
blonde hair, but I saw Katie suddenly appear to my left as she leapt up and stood on the bench several 
feet away with a smile on her face. Mora was circling in closer she had this crazed look in her eyes that 
worried me, Mora was hot-tempered and I always suspected that the Latin girl never liked me.
 
"Not bad Corbin, not bad at all, but you do realize you ARE going down!" Katie taunted. I took a deep 
breath and knew that there was probably no way out, I was doomed, with almost ten girls closing in on 
me now; My escape was probably just luck as they did not anticipate me to struggle so hard. But now, 
many of them were smarting bruises and even a bloody nose, I was now anticipating the worst type of 
payback and scanned the room looking for help, from anyone, especially from Nikki. My body slumped 
against the lockers and brought my left hand up to brush aside some hair, 'I'm so fucked' I thought and 
came close to 'loosing it' as my left hand trembled with anxiety. 'Loosing it' in the sense that I thought I 
might break down and cry uncontrollably, but another part of me wanted to take down as many girls as 
possible, maybe that's what scared me, the thought I might really hurt someone. Do I really want to hurt 
someone? 'Fuck them' I thought 'Fuck these bitches, I may go down, but the first one or two that get 
within arms length is going to be sorry.' and I steeled my mind and body for the inevitable.
 
*WHAM* *WHAM* *WHAM* a fist hammered three times on the locked door to the room, "Someone's 
coming, I think it's the Coach!!" Betty's voice cried from outside; Betty being the designated lookout I 
take it.
 
"What the fuck?" Katie looked around the room. The lookout was a formality, as they had done 
everything in their power to ensure privacy this evening. Suddenly Katie bolted down the top of the 
bench from my left toward the right side and reached down scooping up the razor and hair dye product. 
Based on her queue the other girl's started to collect themselves in a somewhat confusing, disorganized 
manner. My eyes darted around the room, still unsure of what was happening when her heart leapt out of 
my chest as the door to her left opened and Mrs. Kinser stepped in, looking none too happy.
 
"What's the emergency that I had to come back down here..." But the Coach's words evaporated into 
silence as she took in everything around her. Obviously, she had just stumbled onto something.
 
"I'm sorry Coach Kinser, someone called you down here?" Katie stepped around the corner and asked 
innocently, but the question had horrible consequences if some girl had indeed ratted them out. The 
coach took in the scene one more time and her eyes focused on me briefly, I was standing awkwardly, my 
back against the lockers, looking more exhausted then usual. "Must be my mistake." The coach said 
abruptly and spun around, several girls parted as she walked to the door, flung it open and walked out. 
The silence was terrifying as not a person moved in the entire room until Katie performed a total 180-
degree turn ending up looking at me, "Who ever had her come down her..." She didn't have to finish the 
threat, everyone already knew the gravity of being a whistle-blower.
 
"WHO ELSE BUT HER!" Mora pointed and yelled at me.
 
"Bullshit." Nikki snapped and stepped forward, "If she knew tonight was the night then why would she 
even show up? She could have avoided this whole mess if she had just left practice and went straight to 
her room."
 
Katie nodded her head, I seemed totally taken by surprise and if I knew when it was going to take place, 
why stick around? I surveyed the room and found a few admiring eyes, given the massive fight I had put 
up, while a few of the more bruised girls glared hard at me, but none more so then Mora.
 
"What about her?" Mora raised her right hand and unwaveringly pointed at me, as if I was an accused 
culprit, waiting for execution.
 
"Maybe some other time." Katie sighed.
 
"MAYBE?" Becky called out from in the back in shock that I might get off all together, Mora cast her own 
surprised glare from me to Katie in disbelief and then back to me again.
 
"Yeah, I said...MAYBE!" Katie snapped, "We have two big games coming up, and we need to focus on 
THAT so this might just have to wait." 
 
"And as for you..." Katie's voice suddenly lowered to a more normal speaking tone and slowly walked over 
to where I stood. The attractive, olive-skinned girl raised her right hand up and brought the blade of the 
razor even with my chin. Watching with amusement at the way my hazel eyes focused on the instrument 
that was to be employed against me. I shuddered when Katie pressed it gently against my chin "Until we 
decide what to do with you 'newbie', you're on laundry duty, got it?" and she tauntingly tapped the razor 
against my chin. It was interesting the way the atmosphere in the gym had become a bit somber and 
serious. 

The most startling revelation was how I detected an immediate division amongst the Team's members, 
the junior and senior girls were much more admiring and forgiving of me, a few going so far as to pat me 
on the back as they would walk past me. I smiled half-heartedly in response, although I was shaking all 
over and slightly nauseous to my stomach. But it was the Sophomore and Freshmen girls that were 
determined to make sure I got my 'comings-up'.
 
"You've still got something coming, you snot nosed cunt!" Crissy said, another blonde whispered in my 
ear as she walked by, that surprised me to hear as I had always gotten along with Crissy, 'Why the sudden 
hostility?' But none so threatening as Mora, the feisty girl walked right up to me and shoved her dirty 
clothes and panties right into my gym bag, "I want you to wash mine personally Bitch, and don't fuck'em 
up!" Mora sneered and slowly reached out, taking a single dangling piece of my blonde hair yanking it 
hard, quick enough to pull it out at the root. I grimaced a little at the hair pull, this elicited a joyful sneer 
from Mora as she tossed the strand of hair into the air, it seemed to float for a second before slowly 
drifting down to the floor. Mora stepped around me but not without a firm shoulder bump as she walked 
past, I staggered my feet to keep some balance and just looked down at the ground in frustration.
 
"You ready?" The voice suddenly appeared from behind, that soft, sensual voice of reason, my angel of 
mercy, and I turned around suddenly. Nikki was standing with her gym bag in hand. I nodded 'yes'. There 
was no way I was going to take a shower here tonight, I would take one back at my dorm room. "Give me 
a second." and I began to go around cleaning up the locker room and collecting all of the girl's dirty 
uniforms. A few girls took the opportunity to fling them maliciously at my head when I got close enough, 
but I didn't say a word and swallowed my pride as I cleaned up. Nikki sat watching sympathetically, but 
didn't help while there were still team members around she knew the unspoken rules. I needed to carry 
this out by myself.
 
During the walk out from the lockers Nikki kept the pep talk to a minimum as I seemed way to stressed 
by the whole event to probably even listen. 
 
"Where they serious about the shaving?" I suddenly asked, pausing at the entrance to my dorm.
 
"I don't think so, maybe just to scare you." Nikki shrugged casually, her glancing away told me that it was 
all as serious as a heart attack, just great!
 
"Well it worked." I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Fucking laundry duty, Damn this sucks, this really sucks!" 
I nervously laughed. I was trying desperately to make light of everything, but my left leg started to spasm 
and tremble as my emotions were getting the better of me once again.
 
"Yeah." Nikki chuckled a little, "Nothing worse then having to pickup a bunch of dirty, smelly soccer 
uniforms. But don't worry about it I'll help you." Nikki smiled reassuringly.

I watched Nikki's smile suddenly fad as tears began to stream down my cheeks, us girls don't just swallow 
our emotions, it feels good to let the damn burst sometimes. "Damn," I sighed and my left hand came up 
to quickly brush away the tears, embarrassed that I was letting the experience overwhelm me. Quickly 
Nikki stepped up and hugged me, embracing me for a few moments, not even saying a word.
 
"Thanks Nik." I sighed, "I don't know what I would do without you these past few weeks." I returned the 
hug with greater effort and for the very first time I questioned if anything between us would be the same, 
even something so simple as a hug now felt like something more.
 
Nikki's arms relaxed and she was pulling away from me now, "Thank you Corbin, for being my friend 
too." I could read Nikki pretty well at this point in our friendship she had her walls-up, which meant 
there were so many things she wanted to do, verbally and physically. 'Shit,' I cursed privately, I couldn't 
even concentrate on anything right now I was too freaked out by what happened several minutes ago and 
what was happening right now with my own internal emotions about my friend.
 
Nervously I brushed my hair up over my ears and swiped my key card over the card reader to unlock the 
door, "Better take a shower." It was time to put this drama behind me, 'I need to focus on School work.' I 
thought.
 
"Talk to you tomorrow." Nikki smiled and turned away, it sounded forced, she didn't want to leave me 
and suddenly I didn't want her to go. I swallowed hard and struggled to pull myself together as I always 
do, but my eyes welled up with tears again and I wanted to cry, 'Fuck, get a grip Corbin!' I told myself 
biting my lower lip.
 
"Nik!" Her name came out of my mouth all on its own, I was stunned, shaking all over anew, almost 
crying again, the thought of being alone was upsetting. No wait! It was the thought of being without Nik 
that was upsetting me! 

She paused and turned halfway toward me, she looked guarded and cautious and I felt a lump in my 
throat, 'What am I doing, what is happening?' I wondered but the concerns faded like a passing cloud in 
the sky as I was now taking the initiative. I had always relied on Nikki to be the one to do that. I now felt 
like I might sob uncontrollably and fought to keep it together.

"Can you come up for a minute? Please." And I mean I really was pleading, how my voice was intact I 
don't know, but I did feel my lower lip tremble.

"Absolutely." Nikki said instantly, without reservation, her face got an urgent look of concern and caring, 
her walls instantly crumbled away as had mine. Some guy came brushing past me out of the dorm door, 
he said his hello's to Nikki and I, but we gave only the briefest of acknowledgments, or did we, I don't 
even recall.

She took my hand, was my hand even outstretched? Yes, but it took me looking down to see that, I was a 
mess, I felt a mess, but somehow a smile came thru when our fingers intertwined. The emotion that was 
radiating out of my body seemed to transfer thru our connected palms, Nikki was now smiling back at 
me. I looked over my shoulder as we quickly made our way up the stairs, two at time it seemed, Nikki's 
other hand slung her Gym bag up over her shoulder and now that free hand was reaching for my shoulder 
to rub it affectionately, reassuringly. Her beautiful tan face, once calm and subdued was flushed with 
emotion and concern, but not a word was spoken as we made our way up that staircase. We brushed past 
fellow students, friends and acquaintances, but they seemed more like ghosts in my peripheral vision, 
their nearby 'Hello', 'Hi Corbin!', 'Hi Nikki!' sounded like distant echoes in dream state.

I spastically unlocked my door and tossed my gym bag toward the foot of my desk, 
Nikki just let hers drop to her feet and didn't move from where she stood, except to close the door. I 
started to pace, rubbing my hands thru my hair tangled, sweat, soaked hair, I tried to gauge my emotions, 
the grass stains and dirt from the rough soccer practice didn't help, if anything it only seemed to irritate 
my mood. 'Don't do anything rash Corbin, don't act out on pure emotion.' I tried to find my way back to 
some sensible, steady ground.

"Corbin," Nikki's voice came toward me, she was tilting her head to try and engage my eyes, she was now 
right next to me, her hands rubbing my shoulders and over my arms. Her voice was so soft and 
concerned, "Its okay."

I froze, stopped the pacing and looked at my dear friend I raised my hands to cradle her beautiful exotic 
face. I was pissed and happy and frantic, all at the same time, I tilted my head forward and pressed my 
forehead against Nik's forehead, she was there and I was clutching her shirt taking deep breaths. I leaned 
into her and she pressed back, a buzz went thru my senses that excited me on so many levels.

"I'm sorry, I'm just upset." I pleaded, she held onto me as we hugged and our bodies swayed slightly in the 
middle of my room. I suddenly realized she was sweating and panting as hard as I was, when I opened my 
eyes she was tearing up as well.

I turned my head and pressed my lips against hers, the mixture of sweat, tears and saliva tasted unlike 
anything I had ever experienced. It was more satisfying then anything I could have ever imagined, and it 
was happening between me and my dearest friend!

A fresh coat of sweat started to pour from my body, we staggered around the middle of the room, 
grabbing one another and twisting as I found myself being aggressive in ways I had never thought I was 
capable of being. When Nikki's hand grabbed my ass I gasped and almost broke the kiss, I started to 
grind my pelvis into hers almost instinctively, my bold actions had me in a state of shock. I ached for her 
body against mine, my sex against hers, I felt Nikki push her crotch back into mine and we both froze, 
the kissing paused, while only our lower lips remained connected. We stood holding our position to 
enjoy the contact of our most private of areas, it seemed another slice of reality lay exposed.

I wanted to inhale every scent and odor from this lovely woman in front of me, she had me sexually 
tingling in so many parts of my body. We hugged one another and slowly rubbed the front of our bodies 
against each other, our breasts pressed and I could feel our bodies trembling.

What had become of the shy and reclusive Corbin I wondered as I reached around and griped Nikki's ass, 
"Buns of steel" I sighed and smiled, this caused Nikki to chuckle, she started to rub her crotch against 
mine with renewed effort. I saw a sparkle in her eyes and she lowered her head so that her mouth could 
begin to sensually suck and lick under my chin. I tilted my head back and moaned as my knees buckled, a 
shiver went up my spine.

"Down" was all I could utter, I moaned and tried to guide my left knee toward my bed for support, Nikki 
understood and we now helped one another down to the bed. We cautiously explored one another, I 
trembled as my hands lifted Nikki's shirt off her body and touched her quivering belly, it was toned and 
rock hard, but still rippled with excitement wherever I touched her.

Nikki's touch was just as dramatic on my body, I gasped when she pulled up on my shirt and caressed my 
abs, moving up to my sports bra. 

"So strong." She moaned and leaned down to kiss my belly, licking my abs and belly button.

"I love you Nik, I am so in love with you." I sighed, weeping, we both had tears flowing from our eyes.

Nikki's body froze and her head came up, her eyes blinked and the darkness of her pupils filled with even 
more tears as she moved up to my face, "I am in love with you too Corbin." And we started to kiss in a 
slow sensual way, Nikki wasn't that much more experienced then I was, because she was very 
conservative like me, so we spent a great deal of time learning and exploring each other.

Once again, the contour of our lips seemed perfect for one another, and our tongues gently explored. The 
bottom of her wonderfully warm tongue slid over the top of mine and into my mouth, almost 
instinctively I had the urge to wrap my lips around her tongue and so I did! I then sucked her warm, 
moist tongue into my mouth, gently at first and then hard. Nikki moaned and her eyes went wide, she 
wiggled it between my lips and in my mouth as I moved back and forth along her pink muscle. I had 
never done that and Nikki said it was a first for her, but we were both hooked by this the erotic sensation 
and would spend long minutes sucking each other's tongue at length.

When we took a break from making out, I finally had to ask, "What are we going to do?" as I stroked her 
face.

"I don't know." Nikki sighed, "I don't know."
 
She turned toward me as we laid on our sides, now stripped down to our bra and panties, we just soothed 
and comforted one another. We cuddled and sought to find new ways of tightly entertaining our legs and 
arms around one another. Nikki's right hand had very smoothly moved under my panties and was resting 
on my bare ass cheek, gently squeezing.

"I never thought something like this would happen." Nikki said, "I always thought I had a solid gauge of 
my feelings for guys and women. Where all of this came from I have no idea, and I can't believe you feel 
the same way!" Her eyes welled up with more tears, "You know how I'm all into spiritual beliefs about two 
people being soul-mates."

I know this sounds corny and all, but in that tiny space of my little room, on my tiny bed I really felt like 
we hand bonded into one person, every action and reaction flowed without thought or effort, it just 
existed. The perspiration, breathing, and sighs of our lips pressing against one another became 
indistinguishable.

"You're my soul mate Nikki." I whispered into her mouth and kissed her long and softly. Did I actually 
believe it? I wasn't sure, I still had my doubts, but I wanted to get lost in the moment, I wanted to swept 
away from all my insecurities and fears. This was our private secret moment, and the world outside no 
longer existed. Finally, for once in my life I felt at peace and safe.

"Oh Corbin." Nikki sighed and pulled me tight, "I want this to work, I know that's asking allot right now, 
but please think about it, I'm not saying we should stand on the roof top and proclaim our love for one 
another, but these feelings are as real as I could have ever imagined and hoped for."

I kissed her on the lips and closed my eyes, I was smiling as I felt her tongue trace along my mouth, "I 
think you're right, but let's go slow."

"Slow it is." I heard her sigh and I opened my eyes to see a beaming beautiful smile.

**********

The next day I flipped out, well internally that is, I was not ready to come out of the closet and proclaim I 
was in love with a girl and ready to commit. Yes I loved Nikki and wanted to pursue something with her, 
but the thought of having a boyfriend seemed to beckon me, until I could resolve that, I wasn't sure what 
to do.

The same anxieties went for Nikki as well, so even after all our deep spiritual talk about being soul mates, 
we were still a couple of big chickens!

With so many emotions swirling around my brain I channeled all that energy into exercising and lifting 
like a crazy woman. Arms, chest, shoulders, legs, and any and every muscle I could identify on a chart, I 
put it to work. I worked out about 2 hours a day, four or five days out of the week when time permitted. 
The more the girls on the Soccer team hazed/taunted/pushed me the harder I trained and lifted, but I 
could tell it was only a matter of time before a blow-up occurred with one or several of the girls on the 
team. 
 
It was during this time of becoming an 'athletic terror' (I don't think I really was, but I just like that 
phrase) that I would finally met Dale face to face. He had just transferred and played football, but it was 
Dale that had franticly sought me out after seeing me that night at the bar.

Nikki and I were still an item, but it was all very secret, she still had her boyfriend and I started seeing 
Dale (oops, jumping ahead again, that part comes up next), we even ironically went on several double 
dates together, we each smiled knowingly at one another from across a dinner table. 

**********

Dale introduced himself out of the blue, "Hi" I heard the voice from above as I sat on the workout bench, 
staring idly at the floor in between my reps. I was watching sweat drip from my long hair again (Told you 
people I am easily distracted by simple things. Must be a blonde thing.)
 
'Fuck' I mumbled preparing yet again to tell some guy to get lost, but my mouth and brain shut down 
when I looked up and saw Dale looking down at me with his sincere smile.
 
"I'm Dale." and he stuck out his right hand, I gave a reluctant smile and reached out to take his hand. 

'Well you dummy.' I thought to myself, at least make an effort to get to know him. It was a strange new 
feeling, I really DID want to get to know this guy instead of my standard reply of 'Get lost!'
 
"Look, I just wanted to say hi, I've seen you around school and maybe we'll run into each other again 
soon? Or go out for drinks with me sometime?"
 
"Have you already worked out?" I blurted out and suddenly was shocked to hear the words coming from 
my mouth, in fact I was almost up and off the bench but quickly sat back down, not wanting to appear 
too eager.
 
Dale just smiled and took my question to be an invitation. Dale and I began to lift every once in awhile, 
but like every guy, his concentration sucked, he would rather check out my ass, legs and tits although he 
tried valiantly not too obvious. Yet he also seemed relaxed around me, which was a nice change of pace 
because so many guys acted inept or childish with their bantering small-talk and stupid one-liners. It's 
not that Dale was naturally quiet, but he would rather not say anything then make stupid small talk, 
something that I very much appreciated. When he did start to open up, I found Dale to be smart, funny 
and he was gorgeous to boot. It wasn't all fun, every single or semi-single girl suddenly began putting 
'The Vibe' out there for him to pick up on. The competition on Campus went into overdrive when it 
seemed Dale and I were fast becoming serious. 'Well I'm not playing that game!' I told myself, I had too 
much self respect to ever compete for any man, this aloof attitude seemed to spurn Dale on even further 
as he pursued me relentlessly; the less I acted interested, the more he chased me. How odd, I guess I 
learned to play the dating game and didn't even realize it.

(Now before everyone thinks I have a swelled head, I do acknowledge there was allot of competition at 
this school, allot of gorgeous girl's that most likely could put me to shame. I don't know why he became 
so interested in me? Well that's not fair, I have allot to offer, so why shouldn't he be interested in me!)
 
Dale stood 6'3" and was in incredible shape, he had to be agile and fast so 'bulking up' on muscles was not 
in his plan, although he had plenty of muscles. 

Dale was so nervous on our first few dates, strange because I had heard he was very much the 'Ladies 
Man'. I guess he heard that I rejected men with the ease of fly-swatting, almost in a nonchalant manner 
which could almost be perceived as being cruel. 

I used to smile when he went out of his way to open doors for me, struggling to always say and do the 
polite thing. When he found out I was a virgin he actually was the one seemed nervous, it was so cute, I 
loved that! And I loved flirting with him. 

Quickly though I became the nervous one, after one of our first make-out sessions back at his Apartment 
I got a good feel of his erection thru his pants as he hugged me, and it was very big, huge! Of all the damn 
bum luck, I always thought I would get married and make love to some guy with a nice average size 
penis, well something that was normal in size...errr you know what I mean, something not painful. But 
what if Dale is the one! Gheesh, hope it doesn't hurt too much because he feels big and long 'down' there. 
Just great, more worries now.
 
All of this is a perfect example of why I could not commit to Nikki, dating Dale felt wonderful and I didn't 
want to break things off.
 
(Ahhhhh thinking back on that night still brings a smile to my lips, my wonderful Dale :)

**********

I was starting to feel good again actually I was starting to feel great. My body was in the best shape of my 
life, I now had strong, good looking muscles and was probably stronger then any girl on campus, but still 
not so strong emotionally at times. Evident when I was walking with Nikki one day and saw Sharon 
across the way in front of her Sorority house, having a huge social, I really missed her company.
 
On a social note, my dates with Dale were going fine, but I was stressed about the growing physical 
expectations he was having and I wished that I had Sharon here to talk with, believe it or not, Sharon 
always had good straight forward advice about this sort of stuff. 

Yes I could talk to Nikki about this stuff, but Nikki and I would rather cuddle, hug and kiss when we were 
alone, sharing intimate secrets and talk in depth about life, love and the future, NOT about boys.

See what I mean, I am so messed up, I have a split personality, on one hand I am making life long plans 
with Nikki, and then, I go out with Dale and talk of being committed to him. It's a train wreck waiting to 
happen.

**********

 Dating Dale had its own new experiences that I had never anticipated for.
 
The most stressful being a trip over to Dale's apartment after Soccer practice one day. I had shown up at a 
pre-arranged time, although Dale's car was nowhere in the parking lot, but I went up to the apartment 
anyway. Steve was there and answered the door inviting me in, now I didn't know Steve all that well, but 
he seemed like a decent enough guy. Steve stood about 5'10" with un-kept red hair, but otherwise a fairly 
tidy person like Dale, 'Thank god' I thought as I could be such a stickler for neatness.
 
"You just get off from practice?" Steve asked eyeing my soccer uniform, actually I watched his eyes 
continue to trail down towards my legs often.
 
"Yep." I said and sat down at the Kitchen table, while Steve had gone back into the living room to watch 
TV, but slowly turned his attention back to me when I asked, "Dale running late?" while checking my cell 
phone to see if there were any messages.
 
"Just a little he should be home any second." Steve looked over at me again and then cut off the TV. "You 
can fix yourself something to eat or drink if you like, just help yourself." He called out and now his full 
attention was directed towards me.
 
"Thanks." I replied and picked at a piece of tattered string coming off my shorts. I knew Steve had a hard 
time figuring me out, because of my typical one-word answers, I guess to him he might as well be talking 
to a brick wall. I looked up from picking at my dirty shorts and saw him walking towards the kitchen 
table, it caught me a little off guard but didn't give me any grave concerns at the moment. I really didn't 
have any bad vibes from being around Steve, but this was the first time I ever been really alone with him.
 
"You weight lift?" Steve pulled out a chair to my left and sat down. 

'Oh great...' I thought, '...is he going to grill me now?'
 
"Some." I answered and was trying to change mental gears into my 'Social 
Mode' for some conversation, if that is what he was expecting.
 
"How much can you lift and such?" He leaned forward, folding his arms 
casually in front of him on the table top.
 
"Oh, I don't really keep track of that sort of stuff, I just try and stay in shape." I smiled and tried to brush 
off the pursuit of any more questions about that topic of conversation. Steve watched my every 
movement, even under the smudges of sweat and dirt he seemed fascinated with me.
 
"Oh come on, you don't keep track?" He scoffed at the thought, "As dedicated as you are it's hard for me 
to believe that you don't have some idea." he probed.
 
I shifted in the seat a little and let out a small, indistinguishable sigh of annoyance, "Not really, I keep 
track of everything up here." and pointed to 
my forehead with a smile.
 
"So, how serious are you with Dale?" Steve suddenly shifted questions again, catching me off guard a bit.
 
"What?" My mouth opened with puzzlement, I understood the question, but was a little surprised he was 
being so forward.
 
"You know what I mean, I notice you've been coming over allot more, so I figure that you two must be 
getting pretty serious." He smiled and seemed amused that I was stumbling over my words.
 
"Well were dating, but serious, I mean if you're asking are we committed to dating one another 
exclusively? Yes, I mean we haven't really discussed it at length." It dawned on me that it was a good 
point, I had never demanded nor asked that we date exclusively, I just 'assumed' we were at that point.
 
"So maybe your unsure at this point? So there might be an opportunity for something else?" He raised his 
eyebrows and totally shocked me as his right hand reached out, his palm coming to rest on my left knee 
that was folded over my right leg. 

My eyes grew wide as I looked down at Steve's hand. Instinctively my left hand which had been folded in 
my lap flew out and backhanded his right forearm thus knocking his hand from my knee with a loud 
*smack*. "What the hell are you doing?!" My eyebrows fused together in anger and disgust.
 
"I thought you said that you were unsure, so I just wanted to let you know that if things didn't work out 
with Dale, I thought it would be cool if you and I could hook up, that's all." He shrugged and tried to act 
nonchalant about the whole thing.
 
"Are you morally retarded!?" I fired right back.
 
"What?" He looked at my befuddled.
 
"For you to hit on me, in your friend's apartment!" I started to seethe.
 
"Hey chill out, it's not that big a deal." He leaned back in his chair acting a little like the one who had 
been insulted.
 
"Sneaking around behind people's back and putting out dating requests in case things don't work out 
with your friend is pathetic." I snapped.
 
"You think so?" He leered at me with contempt over my flying insults and high-brow moral stance.
 
"If you think it's no big deal then why not get it out in the open, let's just get everyone together when 
Dale gets home so we all can know what everyone's game plan is. That way you and Dale can sync-up and 
you can outline your dating strategy if he and I split down the road." I was now leaning onto the table 
with my right elbow.
 
"Look, your blowing this way out of proportion!" He interrupted while shaking his head and stood up.
 
"Where are you going?" I snapped and quickly came to my feet. I wasn't sure what just happened inside of 
my brain, but something flipped and I wasn't going to let this guy or anyone off so easy. Perhaps it was 
the building pressures that had been mounting for weeks; the stress of school, sports, and my friendship 
with Sharon. But, in any case, I wasn't about to let this guy off so easy, nor feel sorry my actions.
 
"What?" He looked at my strangely, his upper lip curling with humorous shock, "I'm going back to watch 
TV." he pointed casually to the living room.
 
"You want to watch TV? How are you going to do that with me in your way? 
You'll have to get thru me little boy, unless you apologize." I took a step back and tore off my lightweight 
jacket. I was beyond caring at this point, I figured this guy could probably beat the crap out of me, but I 
was hedging my bets that he would back down first, 'besides I'm at least as tall as he is, maybe even an 
inch taller'.
 
"I'm not fighting you!" He said with a little shock and nervousness creeping into his voice. Steve was 
totally blown away by how I was reacting, I guess he never had any 'Girl' threaten him like this...what 
made it even worse was how he appeared to be second guessing himself.
 
"Fine, then I'll be the one throwing all the punches." I shrugged and shook my arms out, my muscles 
flexing and tensing as I rolled first my left, then right shoulder. 
 
"Have you lost your mind! I'm...I'm...I'm not fighting you, you're in my place, now leave!" Steve pointed to 
the door. 
 
I stepped in and put my hands on my hips and smiled, "Make me leave." 
We stood like that in our stand-off as he looked me up and down quickly, trying to asses how serious I 
was. "And another thing as a guest in 'Your Place' you are one hell of a rude host to be hitting on your 
guest!" Pointing a finger at myself, "And did I give you permission to touch me!" I took another step in 
closer, "DID I?" I loudly snapped.
 
"No." He said with a mumbling noise barely above that of a whisper, but his eyes conveyed true shock. 
I'm sure he had seen a few girls sloppily smack it out in a parking lot or bar while intoxicated, but I was 
looking him dead in the eye and seemed as collect and serious as anyone.
 
"But you did touch me, didn't you!" I snapped again.
 
"I'm sorry, look I was just trying to hit on you!" He shrugged a couple of times.
 
"You're sorry? That's your idea of hitting on a girl? No wonder your single!" 
I placed my hands back on my hips and cocked my head to the left in disgust.
 
"I'm sorry, OK! Jesus! What else do you want!" He sighed. I just kept staring at him and shook my head in 
disgust and reached over to pick up my jacket.
 
"I'm going to wait for Dale in his room." I growled and turned to walk down the hall.
 
"What are you going to tell him?" Steve called out.
 
"We'll see." I called out, not looking back.
 
"But I apologized!" He yelled, but I just slammed the door shut.
 
I threw my coat into a corner chair and flopped back onto the bed, I began to massage my temples with 
both hands, trying to ease the stress out of my body as I felt my heart pounding in my chest. As the 
seconds ticked by and I increased my breathing I could literally feel my heart slow down to a more 
regular pace, it was an invigorating sensation, the feeling of my own heart beating in my chest. 'What the 
fuck' I thought, 'This is definitely not High School...its worse.'
 
(Should I have decked him? I guess not, sometimes I think I should have. 
I'm also more aggressive now then I used to be...so had that happened today I would have him in a choke 
hold on the floor babbling out his apology while struggling for air.)
 
I bolted upright when I heard the front door open and heard Dale's voice, quickly I stood and opened the 
bedroom door. Dale was standing there with a couple of bags of groceries in his hands talking to Steve.

"Hey!" He called out, his face suddenly lighting up with a broad smile when he saw me. "Sorry I had to 
stop and pick some stuff up." He sighed and set the bags down on the counter.
 
"That's okay." I smiled, I caught a glimpse of Steve cringe when I leaned in and kissed Dale, he probably 
wanted to vomit with jealousy.

**********

I always felt more comfortable around Dale as along as I maintained some emotional and physical control 
in the relationship. 

"Hey Corbin, do you maybe want to go out?"
 
"Where to?" I said stepping out into the bedroom running a brush thru my hair, bending at the hip so it 
hung straight down to the floor as I kept brushing. 
 
"Huh?" he said looking up again, he appeared a little distracted, looking at some other part of my body 
instead of what I was saying.
 
Shaking my head with amusement, I repeated myself, "I said, where to? 
Do you have someplace in mind?"

"Sorry, it's just, those jeans they look damn hot on you." He suddenly blurted out. I smirked at his 
compliment, but also gave him an impatient look. "Oh right, well you know that new bar that opened up, 
they're having a big bash there tonight."

I casually flicked my wrist towards my bag tossing the brush into it. "Well," I thought for a minute, I 
looked over at my bag and contemplated what to do.
 
"If your not interested..." He tried to down play it.
 
"I like to get to bed early that's all..." I seemed to be talking more to myself then to him at this point.
 
"We can get back early enough for that." He quickly interjected.
 
I wasn't keen on relying on anyone to get around and looked over at him seriously, "Then promise me 
that we're leaving there by no later then Ten o'clock! Because if you think you want to stay later we will 
just drive separate so I can head back to the dorm to get some shuteye." (Told you I was the boss!)

"I promise!" He raised his right hand, "We will leave no later then ten 
o'clock!" and smiled. He stood up as he watched me turn around and pull my bag out of the bathroom 
and toss it into the corner.
 
"Okay let's roll." I said and stuffed my ID and Cash into my pant's pocket. (I am really getting into this 
bossing around thing! Eric back in High School and now Dale, they jump when I say jump! Hot damn!)
 
"By the way you look gorgeous." he gushed "And those jeans, Good Lord you have to wear them more 
often." Again with the comment on my jeans, but I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder. They are 
the oldest, most beat-up, faded pair of jeans I have, but I guess they fit me pretty tight because I get allot 
of compliments when I where them. 

Although Dale and I were warmly greeted by friends at the bar I was about to have a nervous breakdown, 
I am not comfortable being the center of so much social attention. I find it difficult to shift from 
circulating with single friends to people that were couples and suddenly they wanted to make small talk 
with me, another thing I seemed ill prepared to do. For the longest time I felt like I was inadequate for 
not being able to exchange in what I deemed 'meaningless conversation'.
 
Now all of Dale's friends, Football buddies, and Frat brothers were suddenly my friends...YUCK! Some are 
nice people I guess, but I can't remember all these people's names! Not to mention I was totally 
blindsided by the very rude flirting that some of Dale's so-called guy friends were throwing my way, and 
some of these guys have girlfriends!! 

Have you people no morals?!!

Have you people no ethics?!! 

You call yourself a friend of Dale's and now your hitting on me! I'm his girlfriend you jackass! I blasted 
these fools every chance I got!

IDIOTS!

And then there was the simmering jealousy of other girls to contend with, many would fume over the fact 
I was getting to be the center of so much attention.
On one occasion a girl got mouthy with me, telling me 'not to interrupt her when she was talking'. I 
responded with my usual graceful style;
"Stuff your bitchy attitude or I'll stuff my fist down your throat!" I pushed my knuckles under her chin so 
hard her teeth clicked. Her face became pale and a look of shock and horror told me I had put her in her 
place, but Dale was embarrassed and we had a bit of an 'argument' over how I tend to *over-react* to 
things.

Anyway, back to the moment at hand, I left Dale to his buddies and sought out a group of Soccer buds I 
had seen only moments ago. But getting thru the crowd proved to be a major pain in the ass, "Pardon me, 
excuse me, pardon me!" I pushed and shoved my way thru, fuming with irritation. It seemed like every 
step I was also getting propositioned by some guy, and even got a few offers from some girls, I wasn't sure 
if they were hitting on me or what because I'm dense in the 'vibe' department. I was about to flag down 
the bartender, I *needed* a drink, when a guy was suddenly at my left elbow, trying to get my attention. 
"My name is Shelton! I'm on the team with Dale."  (See! See what I mean! Everybody that is friends with 
Dale is saying hello and expects me to be all nice, giddy and happy, especially if they are some stupid 
Football player!). 

"I'm..." I was about to speak, when he finished my sentence.

"Corbin, yeah I know!" He smiled. 

I looked at him with total confusion and shook me head, "How come everyone seems to know my name." 
I mumbled to myself and was sure he didn't hear it.
 
Shelton's reputation preceded him, a very handsome black man who was a real charmer with the ladies. 
So not only was he a Football player and a lady 'player', but he especially liked white girls, make that 
white girls with blonde hair (lucky me). It was very apparent he was turning on all of his charms.

"Here, let me." Shelton quickly stepped up and ordered a Corona from the bartender.
 
"No, no, really, please don't, I appreciate the offer but I'm with Dale." I said I didn't want to lead any guy 
on.
 
"That's okay, I know about you and Dale, I still want to buy you a drink." 
Shelton smiled and I felt that old stern attitude of mine begin to rise, wondering if Shelton was another 
guy who saw every attractive girl as an open target, regardless if they had a boyfriend or not.

"Thanks." I even allowed a slight smile to escape from the corner of my mouth.
I was fading in and out of the conversation with Shelton and knew he was hitting on me big time. I had 
started to lean away from him as he would lean in, something he seemed to pick up on. The other thing 
to mention is that Shelton had that well developed ability to initiate conversation with anyone he chose, 
he could be lighthearted and funny, without coming off as arrogant. 

"You'd be my Girlfriend if Dale hadn't gotten to you first!" He leaned in and rubbed shoulders playfully. 
He meant it by the way Shelton had a major fixation/crush/boner for me, but he also knew how to play 
everything off as just innocent flirting so I wouldn't get too offended. You have to be very well in tune 
with what the other person's body language is conveying.

Shelton was boring me and I glanced around and found Nikki, she was chatting with a group of guys and 
she looked over at me, a big smile came over her mouth and she gave me a wink. Of course I winked back 
and reluctantly turned back to Shelton, "Shelton" I sighed and looked up at his attentive dark eyes.
 
"If you want to stand here and have a pleasant conversation, we can do that. But that's all." My expression 
became just a tad bit tense, hoping to drive home the point.
 
"I totally respect that, but please you're totally not my type." Shelton smirked and took a sip of his beer.

I just nodded and smiled at his little word games, "I understand, you're just bored with everyone else in 
the bar and would rather stand here with me to just kill time, right?"
  
"Maybe, or maybe the alcohol is really getting to my brain, impairs ones judgment you know." He said 
leaning in close again, his voice low, forcing me to lean in and hear him. Another nice trick and I have to 
admit, the little bantering going on was kind of amusing, just don't let your boyfriend or girlfriend 
overhear you doing this! While in my mind it was harmless fun, I've seen 'significant others' go ape-shit 
when they hear such stuff, and then the arguments and accusations start to fly about flirting, cheating 
and all sorts of other stuff, all over some innocent banter.

"Hello Stranger." Came the sweet sounding voice to my left and it jarred me to find that I almost didn't 
recognize it. I then felt my lips uncontrollably curl into a smile, but a smile that bespoke of something 
maybe just a little sad at the sudden sight of my friend Sharon.
 
"Hello yourself." I gushed and was momentarily dazzled by Sharon's beauty, which had the same effect on 
Shelton who was astounded at having these two gorgeous women in front of him, one brunette the other 
blonde.
 
"Hey girl." Sharon said and leaned in, giving me a light hug. I patted Sharon on the back in return.
 
"Pardon us but I have to speak with my friend in private." Sharon leaned around my shoulder and spoke 
at Shelton.

"I'm pissed at you!" Sharon huffed as I was pulled thru the crowd by the arm.
 
"What? Why?" I smiled at how it was starting to sound like the 'old' Sharon.
 
"And why were you flirting with Shelton? I don't' believe you!" Sharon scolded.
 
"I wasn't flirting!" I pinched my eyebrows together defensively. See what I mean, this is how bull crap 
gossip gets started.
 
"Oh yes you were! You let him buy you a drink and I saw you blushing at some comments he was making, 
and he's black!" Sharon leaned in and whispered.
 
"What?" I stammered at what Sharon was implying. "Sharon, I know he's 
Black." 'What the fuck?' I thought privately, 'Does Sharon have something against black people now?' 
although it wouldn't surprise me.
 
"You sly devil when were you planning on telling me about Dale! Oh my god, he is like so hot!" Sharon 
fussed at me as we found a corner of the bar to talk. I simply shrugged and sipped on my drink, "It's been 
awhile since we last talked." I raised an eyebrow of concern.
 
"I know, I know, at least a couple of weeks, I'm sorry." Sharon sighed.
 
"A month." I snapped, but quickly restrained my irritation and looked away.
 
"What?" Sharon leaned in.
 
"It's been a month since we've talked or seen one another." I glanced around the room, not wanting to get 
into an argument over the whole thing, or maybe I wanted to. Sharon leaned back stood stone faced for a 
second and nervously looked away.
 
"I'm sorry" Sharon said. I acknowledged her apology, but just barely.
 
"I'm really glad you and Dale are doing well, I'm so happy for you! And he's like the biggest catch on 
campus you sly girl!" Sharon leaned in close to speak.
 
"Thanks, things seem to going pretty well so far." I nodded, but I really was starting to tune Sharon out, I 
had started to accept the way things were, 
'Sharon has her life now, doing her own thing, I guess that's fine.' I thought.
 
"I see you're here with all your Soccer buddies." Sharon pointed off into the crowd.
 
"Oh, yeah well a few are pretty cool a few others are, well... " I didn't finish, not wanting to drop my 
problems at Sharon's feet, I wanted to show I could stand on my own.
 
"I'm really glad your finding your niche here at school, I worry about you, you know?" Sharon smiled 
affectionately and touched my left arm.
 
"Hey Sharon," I sighed and I know a real look of pain came over my face, but I leaned over and gave her a 
warm, tight embrace, "Call me okay?" I whispered into her ear and pulled away. Sharon reached out and 
gripped my hand, and I fought to keep my lower lip from trembling as we both allowed our pride to once 
more get in the way. 

"I'll call you!" Sharon called out as I turned away and pushed thru the crowd slipping from sight. With a 
faint tremble of anxiousness, I ran my fingers thru my hair, and for a moment I felt lost and a little uneasy 
with who I was and how things had turned out. I stole a glance in the direction I had departed but could 
no longer see her, no matter now, when I turned around I was moving closer to Nikki and she saw me 
coming. She made a quiet exit from the guys she was talking with and my right arm went up as her left 
arm reached for a hug as well, we embraced and tried to find an isolated part of the bar.

"I've missed you." I sighed and all my worries seemed to float away with her touch and the aroma of her 
perfume and hair. I wanted to keep my arm wrapped around her shoulder and hold her close, but we 
were being watched, well maybe not but we still had to be careful. Nobody knew about us yet, I think! 
God I hope not!

"I've missed you as well." Nikki sighed I could tell she was pretty buzzed from the glassy look in her eyes, 
I stayed secluded with Nik as long as I dare, besides Dale was having a blast and not at all paying 
attention to the time, but 
I was. Nikki was aching for the same thing as me, more physical contact, she was talking very close to me, 
her lips touching my ear and cheek when she would speak to me. I took a gulp of my beer and blinked 
back some tears as I wrapped my left arm around her waist and pulled her closer to me praying no one 
connected the dots, I was still petrified that we were being too forward in public, even in this crowded 
bar.

"I want to kiss you." I moaned into her ear.

"I'm so hot for you love." Nikki moaned and I about gasped when she ground her crotch against my thigh, 
and because my back was against the wall, she moved her right hand around and rested her palm on my 
left butt. I was breathing pretty heavy and drinking more of my beer now.

"Hey Nik!" I heard Rob's voice call out, he found us and was now getting closer.

"Oh shit." Nikki groaned and we reluctantly pulled away from one another. With my back still to the wall 
Nikki gave my left butt a firm squeeze before pulling away. 

I smiled and scanned the room, there was Dale, he caught sight of me as his left hand brought a beer up 
to his lips. I stood with my left wrist held up to signal my watch. He sighed and glanced down '10:01pm' 
and he smiled at me although he was a bit frustrated at having to leave I'm sure. I got a few unkind glares 
from his football buddies and some girls as if I was utilizing some form of control over Dale, maybe under 
some kind of spell and I was being too controlling by indicting I wanted to leave early.

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and we walked toward the exit together. "Hey Dale!" I heard 
some girl call out, it was that bitch Tiffany, she was giving him her best 'happy face' and 'batting 
eyelashes', feeling a bit tipsy I discretely flipped her the bird with eat shit smirk. I was pretty sure she 
didn't even see it because she only has eyes for Dale, but she then froze and gave me a look of pure 
hostility. Tiffany seemed to be mouthing something at me but I had already turned around. Dale gave her 
a smile and a wave, but he never caught the unkind exchange between Tiffany and I. 

I normally don't do petty stuff like that, but like I said my beer-buzz was making me feel like a smart-ass.

