Celeste's Top 20 Stories - June, 1998

Note:  Even though guest reviewers write the posted reviews of some of these
stories, I read any story that I think may be likely to win a monthly or
annual award.  I personally take responsibility {and blame} for these lists.
If someone else wants to publish an alternate list of awards, that's fine with
me.

Second Note:  Since many readers would like to read the top stories for each
month, I have suggested that authors might like to repost as many of these
stories as possible.  In addition, I am posting STORY LINKS with each story in
the Top 20 List.  By pasting these into the appropriate line of your web
browser, you should be able to go straight to that story.  Please give me your
feedback regarding the effectiveness of this procedure.

Third Note:  I have also had great success finding these stories on the World
Wide Web by using the DejaNews Server (www.dejanews.com).  In addition, most
of these stories have been posted and archived through
alt.sex.stories.moderated.  You can even find past issues of my reviews
through these services.

Final Note: Ordinarily, to be eligible for my Top 20 List for any month, I
have to have read the story for the first time that month and reviewed it in
CR.  Therefore, reposted stories whose old reviews I repost are not eligible
(unless they are substantially revised), but an "old" story that comes to my
attention and is reviewed for the first time would be eligible.  If anyone
else wants to post a "rival" Top 20 list, feel free to do so.  You can even
include my reviews, if you don't want to write your own.

- Celeste

===================== 
This month's Number One Story: "A Certain Circle in New York" by Marc Proust
(proust@scsn.net).
=====================

This was another tough month.  When I read "Anniversary Party" early in the
month, I thought I had already found the winner.  Then Green Onions sent me
"Accepting Gina," and I KNEW I had found June's winner.  But then I came
across "A Certain Circle in New York."

I finally gave the nod to "A Certain Circle in New York." The author's sexual
imagery is very vivid.  As the original reviewer said, the author uses words
as an artist uses a paintbrush. {But then "Accepting Gina" wasn't written by a
literary hack either!}

I found the story to be nostalgic, even though the setting is before my time
and even though things like this had never really happened to me.  Like last
month's winner, this story describes sexual events that are both stimulating
and easy to relate to real-life experiences.

I encountered some formatting problems with this story, but they probably were
not the author's fault.  I suggest that you take a look at the original review
and follow Bitbard's advice for cleaning the story up before you read it.

============================
Here's this month's Top 20 List: 
============================

1. "A Certain Circle in New York" By Marc Proust (advanced sex 
      education) 
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=354649425 

2. "Accepting Gina" by Bernadette (tender ff romance)
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=359259968 

3. "Anniversary Party" by The Pussy Barber (threesome & moresome) 
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352765238
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352765248 

4. "A Time to Cast Away Stones" by Hawkeye (romance)

5. "Becky Cried" by Poison Ivan (voyeurism and romance)
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=353349603

6. "Furlough" by Friar Dave (first time)
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=358303691 (1)
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=358303697 (1)

7. "Dance" by LeAnna (somber sex story)
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=360885404

8. "Blindside" by BitBard (detective sex & romance)
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12355.txt

9. "Home Improvement - Tim Discovers True Manhood" by Phil 
      Phantom (sitcom parody)
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=363934012 (1)

10. "Gwen" by Friar Dave (incest & pedophilia)
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=360178181 (1)
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=360178190 (1)
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=360178197 (1)

11. "Janey's Friend" by Janey (literary ff romance)
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=355700552

12. "Robyn's Nest" by Sven the Elder (one-night frolic)
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=361552469 

13. "I Wonder" by Poison Ivan (prose poem)
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12265.txt  ---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=363593714

14. "Scenery" by Nick (voyeurism)
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352397471  

15. "Hot Tango" by Nick (multiple romances)
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12453.txt  ---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=365516772 

16. "Milady" by LeAnna (bittersweet ff sex)
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=355700562 

17. "Palindrome" by Losgud (humping the bitch)
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12263.txt   ---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=363593703

18. "Myrtle Beach Vacation" by tonytony3 (husband/wife fantasy)
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12555.txt ---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=366844412

19. "Saleswhore" by Phil Phantom (descent into depravity)
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=363934165 

20. "Ten" by Leanna (threesome with bondage)
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=351785924 

20. "Descent of a Woman" by Kim (island orgy)
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/11520.txt  ---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=355958865 

=============================================
Here are the original reviews in alphabetical order:
=============================================

"Accepting Gina" by Bernadette (bernadette@yahoo.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=359259968 

Wow!  As I completed the first quarter of this story, I told myself that
unless this author really somehow screwed up, this was going to get straight
10s.  And then it got better.

The narrator is a person named Jessica, whose life was altered suddenly when
her boyfriend dumped her on the night that her sister (Gina) was killed in an
automobile wreck.  In an attempt to resume her life after this trauma, she has
joined a poetry group, where her major project will be to express herself
through a poem entitled "Accepting Gina."  She befriends a fellow budding poet
named Cassandra, who is from Tasmania.  Then she meets Mr. Right, who scares
her away because he confesses to her that he is bisexual.  Then.... You can
read the story yourself to see how it works out.  You even get a really good
poem thrown in as a bonus.

I'll grant you that this is not up there with rape, incest, sodomy, or action
adventures; but this is one heckuva good story.  This is a tender romance set
in a realistic context.  It doesn't even have dirty words - just good sex.

This story was originally published in a zine called _Art & Love on the 'Net_
(http://www.artandlove.org), which was founded by a person who used to write
and review stories for this newsgroup under the name Green Onions.  I don't
normally plug web sites; but I visited this one, and it was a very pleasant
experience.  It's good to see one of our former colleagues make good in the
real world, and I hope Green Onions continues to send an occasional story from
his zine over to our newsgroup.

=====================

"Anniversary Party" by The Pussy Barber (ALS135@aol.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352765238
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352765248 

This story is about as close as I'll ever get in real life to anonymous sex.
While reading this story, I had risen through several crescendos to a gently
roaring orgasm.  For much of it I didn't even need my fingers - the imagery
and the tug of my clothing while I twisted in my chair was enough to keep me
going.  As my climax subsided, I realized I didn't even know who the author
was.  Even worse - or even better, perhaps - a glance at my scroll bar told me
that I was only halfway through the story.  I clicked on the scroll bar.  Yep
- there it was - Part 2 was still to come, if you'll pardon the expression. At
least my timing was good.

Fortunately, my phone rang, and I had to deal with something more mundane. As
I said, at least my timing was good.  Now, before I resume my reading, let me
give this lecture one more time.  Be sure to put your name and address on the
title page of the actual story.  When I downloaded this story, all I got was
two files with enigmatic numbers that meant absolutely nothing to me for their
"titles."  My gratitude to this author for a really enjoyable first half of
this evening far outweighs the hostility that he evokes by making me go to
DejaNews and look up his name.  But PLEASE - for your own good - PUT YOUR NAME
AND ADDRESS ON THE TITLE PAGE OF THE ACTUAL STORY.

The basic plot is that a wife whom her husband has known to be bisexual throws
a first anniversary party for her husband to which (unbeknownst to her
husband) she also invites her female lover.  And all this happens in the most
delightful way.

This is an extraordinarily hot story.  I strongly recommend it.

As I have mentioned in the past, I have a happily monogamous relationship with
my husband.  In spite of (or maybe because of) that relationship, I really
enjoy stories like this one.  A story like this is good because IF (and that's
an emphatic IF with capital letters) the wildly hedonistic activities
portrayed in this story could be continued on a long-term basis, these sort of
activities would certainly be wonderful.  I simply don't believe that in my
own life something like this is possible.  My conviction is based on
philosophical (religious, I suppose) principles, psychological insights, and
practical experience.  Satisfying one man and having that one man devote his
life to me is about all that I can handle, and I really feel that I am a lot
happier than my friends who have more "open" relationships.

I hasten to add that I might be wrong or at least that these other people
might be right as well.  That is, maybe they have achieved a capacity to share
relationships in a way that makes them wonder why a person would ever want to
settle for a single piece of the pie.

I have no interest in converting you to my value system.  My point here is
that it is clearly possible to enjoy stories that conflict with our personal
values.  Some stories that conflict with my values seem really stupid to me,
and I cannot really enjoy those.  For example, I still can't understand why a
person would enjoy degrading or being degraded by a person with whom he/she is
"in love."  However, stories like this one give me no trouble.  I can
definitely see how it would be ecstatically pleasant to have one cock up my
cunt and another up my ass while my best friend fondled my tits and played
tongue games with me.  Let's hear it for vicarious experiences!

By the way, my husband agrees with me on this issue.  He too enjoys letting
his imagination roam. He has a not-too-secret lust for Jenny McCarthy, who is
young enough to be our daughters' older sister.  If pressed, I'm pretty sure
he would admit that he "wishes" he could bury his face between her legs - or
her asscheeks, for that matter.  He won't, and he doesn't really "want" to;
what he wants is me.  

One reason I like these stories is that they give us a safe outlet for our
fantasies.  I really don't want my husband fantasizing about a woman he works
with or his former girlfriend while he makes love to me.  I think that would
be disruptive to our relationship.  Such fantasies would increase the
probability of actual infidelity or inadvertent flirtations.  He might look at
the other woman differently or she might respond in a way that would
complicate and hurt someone.  With imaginary characters, this problem goes
away. Let's hear it for vicarious experiences!

Incidentally, Jenny McCarthy and I are not all that much alike.  I'm much more
intelligent, she's a blonde, and she looks slightly better with her clothes
falling off of her on a calendar or other poster.  Other than that, we're
pretty similar, I suppose.

=====================

"Becky Cried" by Poison Ivan (poisoniv1@hotmail.com).  
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=353349603

It's a gray and overcast day, but we don't learn that till near the end of the
story; nor does it matter, at least not until they make love in the rain in
his backyard after they watch the other couple doing foreplay in the
restaurant where Margot with the nice ass and happy fingers works.

The first we hear about Becky's eponymous lacrimations is when she weeps when
she discovers that she's not pregnant.  However, lately she has been sitting
on the couch in her bathrobe reading women's magazines and casting accusatory
glances.  And now Margot the waitress is beginning to look better and better
to our narrator, and it's not even closing time at the watering hole.

When Becky arrives for lunch, our narrator is enraptured with the sight of the
couple at the next table, who are eating and flirting most outrageously.
"Someone should turn a hose on them," Becky whispers.  Or get a room, as my
daughter would say.  The other woman isn't wearing panties, and they leave
shortly. "I have to go to the bathroom," Becky says. "Is everything okay?"
Margot the waitress asks. Becky returns from the bathroom with items of
wearing apparel in her purse. Becky and our narrator dance, and Becky says,
"Don't get fresh, buster!"

"Next time you say you're going to show somebody my butt, you'd
better show somebody my butt!" says Becky. "I must say, there hasn't been much
in the way of business, but it sure has been a fun day!" Margot says.

Mood swings can be interesting.

=====================

"Blindside" by BitBard (bitbard@newsguy.com).
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12355.txt

I appreciate it when author's revise their stories.  This author even gives us
the dates when he created and revised this story - indicating that he revised
it six days before he created it! That's hard; but then "hard" is good in a
sex story.  Actually, if the most serious criticism I have of a story is the
typographical error in the revision line, then this must be a very good story
indeed.

And it is.  Somehow this author's Steve Whiley detective stories haven't
received the acclaim they deserve.

In this story Steve Whiley is bent on solving the case of the purloined pussy,
so to speak. First Steve gets picked up for an extended one-nighter by a
beautiful woman named Kate, whom he quickly finds to be the best lay he has
ever had. Meanwhile, "the pygmy bandit" has stolen the Vandleberg diamond from
Danzil's Auction House in spite of its expensive security system. Steve has
been hired as a consultant to protect the next diamond scheduled for display
in the city.  Next we discover that Kate was raped as a young girl; and as
amateur psychiatrists we begin to suspect that perhaps she is depraved because
she was deprived.  More precisely, she likes to be in control now in reaction
to the loss of control then.  How all this turns into a really interesting sex
story is something you'll have to discover for yourself.

So what we have hear is a mixture of romance and criminal intrigue.  The
dialog is hot and the sex is good, and there's a nice twist at the end.  What
more could you want?

=====================

"A Certain Circle in New York" By Marc Proust (proust@scsn.net).  Guest Review
by Bitbard (Formerly Sandman -- bitbard@newsguy.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=354649425 

This story is set back in the 1950s when nobody knew anything at all about sex
and kinky positions.  I mean that would imply our parents knew about these
things, which obviously they don't;  not any more than what's minimally
necessary to produce us anyway.

This is a *VERY* erotic story about a man who discovers to his surprise (and
pleasure) that his new maid has been instructing his wife in the art of sex.
When I say very erotic, I mean it.  The sex is very, very well described and
the author uses words as an artist uses a paintbrush.  The imagery is so vivid
it leaps off the page and right into your imagination.

Two things to watch out for before you begin.  There are no blank lines
between paragraphs.  I keep harping on this because on a screen the lack of
lines tends to make the text run together and it's harder to keep your place
within the story.  For stories like this I usually print them out.  On paper,
the effect is not distracting.  A second thing to watch out for is that for
some reason apostrophes show up as 1's -- something easily fixed by a mass
search and replace.  There's no point deduction for these problems, I'm just
giving you a fair warning so it won't be distracting to you.

This one's definitely a must read.

=====================

"Dance" by LeAnna (leanna1@hotmail.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=360885404

This is an extremely well written sex story, but it's not your usual of sex
story.  It's about a man and a woman who have AIDS and who are dying together
in a hospice.  It's a real tear jerker - honestly written and very emotional.

If you're looking for a stroke story or for something to get you in the mood
for some hot sex, you should definitely stay away from this one.  However,
there is more to life than fun and pleasure, and this story has the potential
to make you feel good in a different way.

=====================

"Descent of a Woman" by Kim (Ghost@nym.alias.net). Guest review by  Bronwen
(bronwen@anon.nymserver.com). http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/11520.txt
--- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=355958865 

This is a late review, all my fault. Sorry. OTOH, such eons have  elapsed that
Kim will surely now repost the story, which can only be a  good thing. What an
enjoyable piece....

This is another of the stories written for Malinov's Island, a site  created
by the marvelous (and prolific) author, Lord Malinov. 

For those not familiar with the idea, the ball was set rolling by a  story
from DG in which all the regular authors from ASS/ASSM set off on  an erotic
writers cruise and were shipwrecked, ending up on Malinov's  tropical island.
Lots of other authors wrote connected stories. Anyone  is more than welcome to
submit stories related to this scenario - check  the site out at
http://www.gslink.com/~dcain/xanadu/erotica/island/

My first impressions of "Descent of a Woman" weren't so good. The first
little section seems frankly a bit superfluous. Not entirely connected  with
the main thrust, if you'll forgive the pun. <grin> But maybe  (probably?) I'm
missing something.

However once our heroine arrives on the island the story takes off big  time.
What fun!  It's not fair to give away much plot, save that it's  weird and
wonderful. Dazzling creativity. Piles of mythological  allusions and a few
really good jokes. 

This is one of Kim's best stories yet. There's not a lot of sex, but I  found
what there was memorably erotic. Read it for yourself.

=====================

"Furlough" by Friar Dave (Friar_Dave@mhbbs.com). Review by Sven the Elder, who
may be contacted at Sven@brass-neck.demon.co.uk
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=358303691 (1)
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=358303697 (1)

The Subject of this review is a repost, viz.: "Subject:
{FriarDave}JDR"Furlough 1"( MF )[1/2] From: john_dark@anon.nymserver.com"

I have reprinted the above as I think this is a *very* good object lesson on
how a reposter should carry out the task. John_Dark has gone to very great
lengths to preserve both the story identity and the identity of the original
author. Moreover, his name only appears as the poster, not in the subject
line. More power to his elbow!

Enough of this trivia - Friar Dave is very high on my list of authors to read.
Much as I loathe erotic stories that contain references to minors, his
treatment of the subject is so sensitive as to almost overcome my dislike. I
admit to having read and enjoyed virtually all of his work published to date.

This story he prefaces by saying (A Bit of Spoofing Fun from Friar Dave),
which is just as well, as it contains a large number of Celeste's' Credulous
assumptions. If you can put them aside, and it's not difficult to do so, this
is another lovely Friar Dave story. Briefly it tells the tale of a 19-year-old
virgin seamen in the American Navy and the way he finally loses his 'cherry'
to a hooker on 14th Street off Ninth Avenue; which sounds to this Irishman as
if he might well be in Downtown New York. I guess his ship is visiting.

I don't want to give any of the story away other than to say that he has
difficulty being 'accommodated' by hooker number one, who passes him on to
another New York Madame. The story plot becomes even more 'credulous' at this
point, but the entertainment value is so high as to provoke forgiveness. Friar
Dave has, you remember, warned us at the outside that this is a frivolous
tale.

This is straight m/f and other than the fact we have a very young sailor, this
has nothing to squick the most suspicious of minds. Great lighthearted story,
with a nice amusing thought at the end. Not to be missed.

=====================

"Gwen" by Friar Dave.  Guest review by LeAnna.  This only means my  opinion,
nothing more. http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=360178181 (1)
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=360178190 (1)
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=360178197 (1)

The narrator is a grizzled old guy who has just moved to Manhattan.  His
13-year-old niece comes over the next day to help him "unpack"; but as the
narrator suspects, it wasn't really for that purpose.  As they're unpacking,
the narrator and Gwen get into a heart-to-heart about boys.  The narrator is
distracted, not really paying attention to what his niece is chattering about,
until she starts talking about breasts in an attempt to get the narrator to
notice her.  And then 'touching'.  And then sex.  And then... the narrator
starts to notice his 13-year-old niece, y'know, sexually.  The sexual
dialogue/noticing is first spurred by reminisces about the narrator's ex, and
it gradually grows into something new started by his niece.  And then the
inevitable happens.

I don't condone pedophilia.  I find incest to be just as disgusting.  I warn
you, they're in this story, and they're very strongly in this story.  I only
reviewed this story because Friar Dave is an excellent writer, probably one of
the best writers that this NG is honored with.  

And the major reason that I read this is because I was sure he knew this:
there is disgusting, pointless pedophilia, and then there's pedo with a cause.
A reason.  Not an 8-year-old across the street that the 40-year-old guy
thought would be fun to fuck.  This is pedophilia with a reason, and the
author demonstrates this with enough skill to keep my squicking at a minimum.
This is interesting psychologically -- the thinking and reasoning of a tomboy
that is trying to turn on her uncle to see if she really can turn someone on.
Although it apparently works in the story, readers, don't try this at home as
a means of boosting your niece's self-esteem.  :-)  I actually found that
concept a bit disturbing; however, it's well used in this story.  I don't find
it realistic, but again, it's well used in this story.  The fact that I found
the pedophilia and the incest disturbing, though, is why I took off two LeAnna
points.   This story is fueled by excellent dialogue, and there are a few
laughs in their conversation; heck, throughout the entire story.  There are
literary devices that probably wouldn't be noticed by anybody other than a
careful reader or an author -- for instance, the art of irony as it should be
used. This is a story that I urge you to at least take a peek at.

=====================

"Home Improvement - Tim Discovers True Manhood" by Phil Phantom  (reposted by
Hawaiian Heat).  http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=363934012 (1)

"Hidie ho, neighbor lady Jill,"  says Wilson shortly before he slips  his
immense pecker through a hole in the fence.  Jill is seeking relief  after
getting all hot and bothered by her experience of catching the  boys having
sex with one another.

Later Tim seeks advice from his neighbor, he gives Wilson's aphorisms  his
customary twist after proving his manhood to Jill: "A good, secure  man
understands his woman's needs.  Get bigger ones {cucumbers for  masturbation}
if you want.  You know, Sparticus used to give eels to  his Greek women.  That
Sparticus, now that was a man's man.  Aaarrrghh,  Aaarrrghh, Aaarrrghh!"  To
find out what Wilson actually said, you'll  have to read the story.

The real value of a good parody / sex story is that it's possible to  imagine
the "real" characters doing what the story describes; and this  story
certainly accomplishes that task.

Even with the omission of that lovely young lass with the nice ass who
carries tools for Tim and Al, this has to be one of the most creative
parodies of "Home Improvement" that I have ever seen.  Wait a minute -  I
forgot about Ann Douglas's tale of Jill's infatuation with Heidi, the  young
lady from the preceding sentence. Comparing the two, I'd have to  say that I
liked Ann's version better as a sex story, but Mr. Phantom  gets the nod on
the strength of his parody.  I mean, this one really  did have the tone of an
actual "Home Improvement" episode.

In addition, an author named Jay-P has written several parodies of  "Home
Improvement," but none approaching the quality of the two I cited  in the
preceding paragraph.  Uncle Mike has also done a "Home  Improvement" parody,
but I felt it was not one of his best.

=====================

"Hot Tango" by Nick (nick@cassandra.demon.co.uk).  Guest review by BitBard
(bitbard@newsguy.com).   http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12453.txt  ---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=365516772 

Nick begins the story with this warning: "The story contains mild adult
content and should not be read by minors (as defined in the country from which
it is being accessed)."  Mild adult content?  Hey!  I want panting, sweating
bodies in immoral if not illegal positions!  What's the deal?

No this is definitely not a stroke story, but it is a very good story that
sets up more than a few erotic situations that the reader can carry forward.
The story follows Robbie the rose peddler as he offers his roses to various
people and the story follows the effects of those roses.  

The talisman effect was very well executed and I rather enjoyed the sensation
of upheaval and change that followed Robbie throughout the story.  And somehow
though everyone we meet are at first strangers we find that more than roses
link them together.

No.  Not stroke at all, but it does stroke the mind and is more than well
worth the reading.

=====================

"I Wonder" by Poison Ivan (poisoniv1@hotmail.com).
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12265.txt  ---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=363593714

I don't think my husband reads my reviews, but I'm going to find out  pretty
soon if I'm wrong.  That's because I'm going to talk about him  in this
review.

In this story the author describes the mental state of a man wondering  how
his lover will relate to him. I have never come very close to  feeling this
man's emotions myself, but apparently I have personally  been the cause of
almost an identical set of reactions within the mind  and heart of my husband.
His tensions were even more severe, as he  told me later: apparently I
rejected him {in his mind's eye} six or  seven times after he dialed the sixth
digit of my phone number when he  was calling me for our first date.  He got
that far and hung up six  times!  I had no idea that he was so overcome with
anxiety - although I  really wasn't sure whether I had a date with him or not
by the time he  did reach me and our conversation ended.

Our first phone conversation after that first date was even more  inspiring.
He lacked telephone skills.  After we had talked for quite a  while and he
obviously couldn't find a way to end the conversation, I  said, "We really
should end this conversation soon. Sum things up."  He  replied, "Omigod, what
is it?"  Ya see, the nun who taught English and  told me that the right way to
end a telephone conversation was to  summarize the key elements of the
conversation hadn't realized that the  potential sex partner might hear me
saying, "Something's up!"

He's done all right, though.  Our relationship is kind of like an Uther
Pendragon story with the roles reversed. 

And my husband was barely trying to get to first base!  The guy in this  story
is rapidly approaching third base, ready to head for home plate.   Oddly
enough, the author uses the word "base," but not in reference to  either a
baseball sex metaphor or a penile location.  However, he uses  "diddle" about
the way you'd expect.

Actually, the guy in this story is more eager than anxious.  This story  is
best described as a non-verse poem about a man's hopes and  aspirations as he
looks forward to his tryst with his lady love.  It's  excellent reading.

=====================

"Janey's Friend" by Janey (janey98@hotmail.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=355700552

Janey has fallen in love with Taria. In this story, which is sort of a sequel
to Taria's "Phone Sex," they meet and do very nice things to each other.  Just
read the story - it's really silly for me to try to summarize things that the
author describes so much better than I can.

Actually, this whole affair is somewhat difficult to sort out.  Janey's
fictional persona is definitely and reciprocally head over heels with Taria's
fictional persona (that's a vocational counselor with a college history
teacher - at least most of the time); and Janey the real person also has a
genuine and likewise reciprocal admiration for Taria the real person - whoever
those real persons may be.  The exact relationship among all these personas
(or perhaps, personae) is a bit vague.  For example, Janey the fictitious
person strongly recommends "The Power and the Word," which was written by
Taria the real person, and in which Taria the fictitious person plays a major
role.

This confusion of characters may sound confusing - and it is - but that's good
news, not bad news.  The ambiguity adds to the flavor of the story.

As Janey points out, Taria's "The Power and the Word" is truly an excellent
story. {I'll repost the review below.} But it's not really a good idea to fall
in love with authors who write good short stories.  For example, the best
short story author I know is Edgar Alan Poe; and he'd be a helluva person to
be in love with, even if he hadn't died in a gutter over a hundred years ago.
And then there's Mike Hunt, who dropped off the edge of the earth just when my
fantasies about him were getting really interesting.

=====================

"Milady" by LeAnna (leanna1@hotmail.com). Guest reviewed by Bitbard (Formally
Sandman -- bitbard@newsguy.com).

http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=355424677  LeAnna's archive:
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Academy/2194   

Historical pieces can be brutal on women, especially if they strive for
authenticity.  This story manages to be both brutal and tender.  Set in the
Middle Ages the lord of the manner has decided it's time for a divorce, and in
those days the church was of the opinion that murder was less sinful than
divorce (and you could buy indulgences anyway).  Now, I've got some pretty
solid ideas about right and wrong; and to my thinking the organized religions,
even today, are still playing catch-up.

LeAnna doesn't delve into philosophy as much as I've done in this review, but
she does delve into the final tender moments between a Lady (Milady) and her
female servant right before the Lord becomes a bachelor again.  The
bittersweet female/female scene is both sexy and thought provoking.  

Maybe the best thing about the story is carrying through the "what-ifs".
LeAnna and I had a rip-roaring good time bouncing while soap-opera-esk sequels
off each other.  But even if you can't see the possible entanglements of
future wives, the king, and this sexy servant you'll definitely enjoy the
story itself.

=====================

"Myrtle Beach Vacation " by tonytony3 (tonytony3@juno.com). Guest review by
BitBard (bitbard@newsguy.com). http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12555.txt
--- http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=366844412

Hmm.  Here's an interesting dilemma.  Celeste has sent me a story to review
that is complete and intact yet is basically unreadable because it uses smart
quotes that come across as really weird characters on the screen.  Now ASSM
and DejaNews have this story, but only the first part and in a browser the
story is readable (though I still hate smart quotes).    Since the second part
is unpublished at the time of this review I will review the first part only.
This is not a problem since the first part can stand on it's own as a complete
story.

Dotty and Bob are married.  Dotty has just taken a company sponsored
assertiveness training course.  Dotty is a new woman -- asking things and
doing things quite unlike her usual demure self.  One of the things she asks
is if Bob has ever screwed around.  Wow!  Talk about assertive!  Well since
their marriage is so solid they both admit to coming close but never doing the
deed.  Then they describe in detail what happened.

Bob had been sitting in the airport with a business acquaintance and her
husband when the woman drags his hand up her thigh and lo and behold her
husband's right there too!  Bob begged off and ran home to Dotty.  Now Dotty
got the ol' sexual harassment at the office treatment and got quite a handful
(if I were the guy I'da sued for sexual harassment for leaving me hanging like
that.)  So then Dotty and Bob go and act out Dot's encounter and have heaps of
fun. So much fun in fact that they begin to wonder what to do about acting out
Bob's encounter?  That, dear reader, is a question for part two.

You'll be much better off reading this story in your browser, following the
links above than in your newsreaders.  The smart quotes make the story very
unreadable in native Usenet form.  If you do read this story in your browser I
think you'll be pleasantly surprised. The sexy talk and re-enactment between
husband and wife is very hot and quite provocative.  The two men one women
element will ad a touch of the taboo but in part one it shouldn't cause any
serious problems for guys (or gals) who like things one-on-one.  

=====================

"Palindrome" by Losgud (lushgod@hotnomail.com).
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12263.txt   ---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=363593703

A palindrome is a word or phrase that reads the same backward or forward.  For
example, the first man in the Garden of Eden allegedly introduced himself to
his spouse by saying, "Madam I'm Adam."  And Napoleon is supposed to have
uttered, "Able was I ere I saw Elba."  Exactly why this story is entitled
"Palindrome" I'll leave up to you to discover.

The basic plot consists of the narrator and his friend doing business with
Fidel Castro in Cuba.  His friend brings along his trophy girlfriend, who
exudes reciprocal feelings of contempt for our narrator.  But when the friend
goes back to the States to wrap up the details, our narrator sort of finalizes
things on the Island.

The story is stuffed full of clever business details - probably enough to
drive some readers crazy; but I liked the cleverness.  The sex is perhaps
bizarre but very hot.  I really enjoyed this story.

=====================

"Robyn's Nest" by Sven the Elder (sven@brass-neck.demon.co.uk).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=361552469 

This is another of those sexual frolics for which Sven has become famous. The
way Sven tells it, a reader may be led to believe that being seduced by a sexy
barmaid could be a lot of fun, rather than the degrading experience that it
must certainly be.

Granted that it's not all that hard to convince readers that sex is fun, I
still marvel at the simplicity of expression that Sven uses to get across the
notion that two people are really having fun together.  People who feel the
need to give measurements and who are unable to write the word "penis" without
an adjacent stereotypical adjective should take a look at this author's style
to see how to do tell a sexy tale more simply and authentically. 

One minor flaw in the story is that the barmaid talks more like an Irish lass
than a California girl.

At first I was distracted by the apparently arbitrary and unnecessary
introduction of the Warthog as Sven's traveling partner; but an interesting
twist at the end of the story put this detail into perspective.  I suspect
that this may be the first in a series of Warthog as Sven traveling together -
kind of like John Steinbeck and his dog Charlie.

=====================

"Saleswhore" by Phil Phantom http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=363934165

Phil Phantom/Tiffany have written some of the hottest and depraved incest
stories for years. The theme of verbal and physical domination (though not in
the typical D/S sense!) is usually in there somewhere, and this story is no
exception. Phil is at his best when he's convinced you that his good-girl
protagonist has finally been won over to the Dark Side by lust and never-
before displayed, repressed incestuous affections.

Synopsis: A woman is told that her career will flourish if she acts the slut
and helps to get her kids into the action, too.

This is a classic tale of descent into depravity. If you've ever liked a Phil
Phantom story before, stop reading right here and go find this story.

This is a long story by most measures, and one might expect this would give
plenty of room to get into the characterization of our Saleswhore and what it
is about pissing, muff-diving, and incest that really makes her tick. We get a
healthy dose of this kind of plotting early on, but somewhere in the middle of
the story, the transition to crazed slut gets glossed over a bit. The
characterization of the kids involved is far weaker, too, at that point. The
original arc of the storyline never gets completed the way one would expect
coming from Phil Phantom. That doesn't mean it isn't pretty great "as is", so
I'll stop griping.

=====================

"Scenery" by Nick (nick@cassandra.demon.co.uk).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352397471  

This is sort of a companion piece to go along with LeAnna's "Ten," which I
reviewed in CR 286.  Nick and LeAnna are sitting together in some sort of a
park, admiring the scenery.  The scenery consists of nubile women, upon whom
the venturesome aficionados have been conferring ratings on a scale of 1-10,
in addition to generating oral reviews of the most noteworthy characteristics
of these invariably buxom young ladies.

It's obviously improper to treat people like objects in this way, but I have
to admit that I myself do this too.  Occasionally I work out in a fitness
center, and the routine there can become boring.  To boost my spirits, I keep
an internal record of alpha, beta, and gamma males and females.  I visually
sweep the room from left to right.  The first guy that looks reasonably decent
becomes my alpha male.  He stays in that position until I come upon a better
specimen, whereupon the alpha male drops to beta position.  And so forth.  I
take into consideration not only obvious physical characteristics, but also
their personalities and friskiness in the sack.  Since I {usually} have no
direct experience of either of these factors, I give free rein to my
fantasies.  On alternate days (or when there are not enough men to establish a
hierarchy) I do females instead.  Sometimes I even have an alpha couple.  This
may sound silly, but it sure makes the time pass quickly.  It sure beats
reciting Shakespeare to myself on those days when I forget my rosary beads!

Anyway, these two people do it more actively and overtly than I do.  They even
become part of the scenery.  Omigod - maybe I'm someone else's alpha
female....

=====================

"Ten" by LeAnna (leanna1@hotmail.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=351785924 

"Miss! Oh, miss.... That's a pretty dress."

The woman looks down, self-conscious.  "Thank you."

"I bet it'd look pretty on the floor next to my bed."

"Whap!" goes the slap on the side of his face as the woman huffs away.

This scene takes place outside a bar, where the recipient of the slap has been
sitting on a bench with his lady friend, getting drunk while evaluating the
physiques of the women going into the bar.  They are a man and a woman who
have apparently never been sexually intimate with each other - just drinking
companions who hang out on the street together.

Then their life changes in an interesting way.  Sometimes I say too much.  You
had better check this one out for yourself.  This story is an interesting
combination of a threesome and bondage, with some really great dialogue to
keep it going.

=====================

"A Time to Cast Away Stones" by Hawkeye. {No Link available}

Sam and Jen argue and make up.  The emotions and the sex are extremely
realistic.  As we all know, the best part about a good argument is making up
afterwards, and in this case the couple have grown so close that they are
bound to live happily ever after - or are they?

This story was published in 1993 by Pure Blue Enterprises.  At that time it
was the seventh in the series.  In addition to the present story, I have also
reviewed the following stories by this author:

"Hazy Shade of Winter" "April Showers"

I'll repost the reviews of these stories.  I understand that Hawkeye has also
written the following stories on the "Seasons" theme:

"Summertime Blues" "Season of the Witch" "The Cruelest Month" "The Real World"

If someone will post these or other stories by this author, I'll see to it
that they get reviewed.

 
<end>
