Celestial Reviews 30 - Oct 21, 1995

FREE SPELLING ADVICE:  I have recently noticed a larger than usual 
number of stories that are labeled "consentual."  There is such a word, 
but it's a legal term.  An uncontested divorce, for example, might be 
consentual.  The term for sex between (or among) agreeing parties is 
"consensual."  The difference seems to be that "consentual" refers to a 
more formal, legally-binding consent.  Oddly enough, the dictionary 
gives a second, physiological definition of "consensual" that 
accurately describes something that often occurs in my husband's 
anatomy when we engage in sex according to the first definition of 
"consensual."  Imagine that!

   - Celeste

      "My Sister's Tits" by Cactus Juggler (mind control & D&s)
            9.5
      "Tie Fighter" by Walter Slaven (sci fi and hot sex) 10
      "A Wife, a Husband, and the Paperboy" by Caesar (teen 
            sex & rape) 8
      *"Chauffeur's Dirty Job" by Caesar (sex with the boss's
           wife) 6.5
      "Coffee" by Deirdre (voyeurism and spanking) 10
      "Compensation" by Deirdre (anal sex) 7
      "Company" by Deirdre (breasts & bondage) 10

      *Repost of a previous review (because the story has 
       recently been reposted).

"My Sister's Tits" by Cactus Juggler (an385203@anon.penet.fi).  Here we 
have a tale of sibling rivalry run amuck.  Pam was always mommy's and 
daddy's favorite little girl, but now her sister has decided to make 
her suffer for this favoritism.  Pam initially becomes her sister's 
slave by ingesting some of her sister's miraculous milk.  Nora, it 
seems, has huge boobs that emit a sweet tasting lactation that makes 
anyone who tastes it become Nora's slave.  (This is all very 
scientific.  The story explains it in two concise paragraphs.)

Although Pam is initially enslaved by the magic tits, her training as a 
slave is through the normal training, as it is typically described in 
a.s.s. D&s stories.  There's more emphasis than usual on anal 
humiliation; and the sisterly angle gives it a different twist.  As I 
have said before, I often have trouble enjoying D&s stories, because I 
think they are bizarre and degrading.  This one also seemed that way to 
me; but once I tentatively accepted the assumption that this was a 
valid art form, I actually began to enjoy the story.  The action is 
sick and demented; but I doubt that the author would deny that.  But 
the story was also fascinating.  D&s enthusiasts will probably enjoy 
this story even more than I did.  In real life, I think this sort of 
thing is about as probable as aliens taking control of the US senate or 
the Cleveland Indians winning the World Series; but you can never 
tell....

I can't wait to see "Pam's Revenge," which the author has promised as a 
sequel.  Eventually, of course, I hope these two sisters will get over 
their misunderstandings, and get back together with their mother - who, 
I forgot to tell you, is also a slave, suckling at the breasts of the 
evil Nora.  (Rating: 9.5)

"Tie Fighter" by Walter Slaven (walters@ix.netcom.com).  This story is 
an addition to the Star Wars saga - told from the perspective of a tie 
fighter captain - that is, from the perspective of one of the enemies 
of Luke and Han and Leia.  As I said in an earlier review, this is a 
well written, enthralling story, well worth downloading and reading - 
if you enjoy a heavy dose of action, adventure, and science fiction 
with your sex.  The sex is exotic and hot, but it's almost a stretch to 
call this a sex story.  I would describe it more accurately as real 
good science fiction that incorporates sexual activity as a natural 
part of the story line.  At the present time the author has posted five 
lengthy chapters; and I cannnot predict how many more are yet to come.

The author has obviously given careful thought to the plot and has 
taken pains to make it a reasonable extension of the original Star Wars 
trilogy.  As an adult watching Star Wars with my children, I remember 
being amused to think that the evil Darth Vader and his cronies would 
capture Princess Leia and treat her like a princess while they held her 
in captivity.  The Bad Guys would blow up an entire planet to make her 
talk; but they wouldn't think of deflowering the virgin princess.  In 
the present chapter we hear J'Una recount (with appropriate disgust) a 
more realistic version of what happened to Princess Leia.  Before all 
you perverts rush to your word processors and start searching for 
"Leia" so that you can find the "good parts," I should add that while 
the violence against Leia is described realistically, it is not graphic 
or titillating.  On the other hand, the hot, consensual sex among the 
protagonists IS often graphic and titillating.  I like that focus.

As the story has progressed, the personalities of the major characters 
have begun to evolve.  We discover that things are not dichotomized 
into black and white in the Empire - we see shades of gray and many 
other colors.  The Tie Fighter pilots and even higher ranking officials 
like J'Una actually have consciences and wonder whether they might be 
making a mistake to slavishly implement the will of the emperor.  In 
many ways Vel, Kao, and J'Una resemble American soldiers in Vietnam, 
who began to question their country's actions when they witnessed some 
of the atrocities committed in the name of "freedom," even while they 
continued to perform their duties faithfully and professionally.

As in earlier chapters, the protagonists continue to have raucous sex, 
and the threesome action with Vel, J'Una, and Kao in chapter 5 is 
especially hot.  But we see emotional attachments as well.  In 
addition, midway through chapter 5 we learn that the Empire is rife 
with political dissent.  Toward the end of chapter 5 this dissent and 
these emotions start to combine to lead to the eventual resolution of 
the plot.  All these elements make the story more complex and more 
worthwhile.

I think if I had my choice, I would just wait until this entire story 
was finished and then download and read it.  It really is a little 
confusing to relate, for example, the events in chapter 5 to something 
that I read three months ago in chapter 2.  (However, the author does 
conscientiously offer appropriate cross references to earlier 
chapters.)  Normally, when I read or watch a story, I do so in one 
sitting or at least as quickly as possible.  Having to wait adds 
inconvenience and confusion; but that's just the way authors work on 
a.s.s.  (Incidentally, this is also the way Charles Dickens published 
most of his major novels.  No, he didn't post them on a.s.s.; but he 
did serialize them in the London newspaper.)  I'm getting the story for 
free; so who am I to complain?  If you haven't downloaded this story 
yet,  I encourage you to do so.  (Rating: 10)

"A Wife, a Husband, and the Paperboy" by Caesar 
(jsharpe@access.awinc.com). I read this story mostly because its title 
reminded me of one of my recurring dreams - not exactly a nightmare, 
but something that Freud dude would certainly understand: opening the 
door when I'm half asleep and realizing that I'm not completely 
dressed.  A more common variation is taking off my warmup pants at a 
racquetball tournament and discovering - in front of a large crowd - 
that I forgot to put anything on under my warmup pants.  I don't know 
where  I have a third variaton that deals with church; but I won't 
describe the details here.  (I refer to these as weird dreams; but I 
should admit to you that I am sitting here completely naked at this 
keyboard while I write this.  Perhaps I'm dreaming.)

In this story, the paperboy accosts the dishevelled wife, they become 
passionate, he fucks her, and then the husband comes home.  The enraged 
husband throws the paperboy out of the house and then rapes his wife, 
who feels guilty and apologetic and therefore enjoys the abuse.  The 
husband eventually realizes that he has neglected his wife, and both 
resolve to be better partners.  The only unresolved questions are how 
this will affect their paper delivery and what will happen the next 
time the paperboy comes to collect.  Perhaps the wife had better pay by 
mail for a while.  The story is actually pretty good, but it is marred 
by sloppy grammar and spelling.  For example, I found it a little hard 
not to be distracted when the woman realized she was going to be 
"rapped" by her own husband.  Although he was beating (rapping?) her, 
I'm pretty sure he was going to "rape" the poor woman.

Back to my dreams.  I have a question about the Rules of Monogamy, to 
which my husband and I voluntarily subscribe.  It's my understanding 
that these rules don't apply to dreams.  But what about when I'm in the 
throes of passion with, let's say, two sexy guys and a beautiful woman 
who is kissing my asscheeks and fondling my breasts while the other two 
participants are fucking various apertures of my body?  My question is 
this: when it occurs to me to wonder whether or not this is a dream, 
how far do the Rules of Monogamy require me to pursue this issue?  If I 
think too hard, I invariably wake up and miss the end of my orgasm - or 
at least the end of my final orgasm - which I was techincally allowed 
to have (and which my husband would not begrudge me), since it was only 
a dream.  On the other hand, if I don't think about it, I may discover 
that it's not a dream at all; and I would almost certainly rue the day 
that I had broken the Rules of Monogamy.  (This issue becomes more 
complicated if there really are characters in the world like those in 
Backrub's "Wet Dreams," but I'm pretty sure that story was mostly 
fiction.)  Up till now, I have always compromised by attacking my 
husband as soon as I wake up with a soaking wet pussy and fucking his 
brains out.  He maintains that this is the only moral solution; and 
although I sometimes feel sorry for him when this happens more than two 
or three times a week, he is wonderfully understanding and cooperative.  
He says the moral issue is related to Pascal's Wager; however, I have 
my doubts.  I have written this question to both Ann Landers and Dear 
Abby and to the Pascal Institute; and you'd think they'd at least have 
the courtesy to reply.  So, if any moral philosophers would like to 
share their insights with me, I would be happy to hear them.

Back to the story  This was a creative story that could be improved 
through better proofreading.  (Rating: 8)

*"Chauffeur's Dirty Job" by Caesar (jsharpe@access.awinc.com).  When 
the chauffeur is asked to drive the boss's intoxicated wife home, she 
comes on to him by masturbating wildly in the back seat of the 
limousine.  By  the time he pulls the car over to have sex with her, 
she is asleep in her drunken stupor.  He screws her anyway, and she 
wakes up mumbling the name of a third party - neither the chauffeur nor 
the husband.  The story is pretty interesting; but it includes a large 
number of typographical errors (usually correctly spelled but wrong 
words) that are often extremely distracting.  (Rating: 6.5)

"Coffee" by Deirdre (an65862@anon.penet.fi).  When housewives/mothers 
get their last preschooler off to school and finally have some time on 
their hands, what do you men think they do?  They gather for coffee, of 
course.  Do you really think they sit around and drink coffee, or is it 
more likely that they engage in kinky sex?  Guess!!  Actually, in real 
life they drink coffee while watching either soaps or talk shows until 
Jeopardy comes on.  But that's not the way this story tells it!  
(Rating: 10)

"Company" by Deirdre (an65862@anon.penet.fi). .  This is another story 
that verifies my theory that Deirdre is actually Sherwood Anderson 
reincarnated.  I have no idea what this story is about.  But from the 
first paragraph to the last word, I couldn't take myself away from the 
computer screen.  Very interesting!  (Rating: 10)

"Compensation" by Deirdre (an65862@anon.penet.fi).  A man has been 
longing to have anal sex with his wife, but she has adamantly declined.  
For his birthday, she let's him have her ass; but he has to pay.  
You'll have to read the story to find out how he pays.  (Rating: 7)

TIP OF THE WEEK:  In each issue of Celestial Reviews I present one of 
the guidelines from Celestial Grammar, which I have posted on alt 
sex.stories.d. and which I'll continue to develop and revise from time 
to time.  My theory is that if all of these tips were followed, about 
95% of the really distracting errors in a.s.s. stories would be 
eliminated.  I was going to name this part of the column TIP OF THE 
{something sexual}, but I thought the innuendo might detract from the 
sober serious business at hand.  Here is this issue's Tip:

**SOME FREQUENTLY MISUSED WORDS**.

CHOOSE/CHOSE.  *Choose* is the present tense.  It rhymes with snooze.  
*Chose* is the past tense.  It rhymes with hoes.

ITS/IT'S.  *It's* means "it is."  *Its* means "belonging to it."  (This 
is a little bit illogical, because normally an apostrophe shows 
possession.  But not with it.)*ITS'* doesn't exist.

LOSE/LOOSE.  People *lose* things (including their virginity and their 
tempers).  When things are not tight, they're *loose* (which rhymes 
with goose).

THERE, THEIR, THEY'RE.  Use *their* to mean "of them."  

     Example:  "I could see their pussies through the hole in the 
wall."

Use *there* to mean "over there" or "in that place" and in the 
expression "there is."

     Example:  "When I got there, she was already undressed."
     Example:  "There are lots of good stories on a.s.s."

Use *they're* to mean "they are."

     Example:  "They're going to be surprised at how good her pussy 
tastes."

Combined Example of All Three: "They're going to fuck their brains out 
when they get there."

