Summary: Raven finds her true love in the last place she thought to look.
Keywords: MF, rom
Author: Chrysoberyl Rosewood
Title: Finding True Love

Finding True Love

(MF rom)

by Chrysoberyl Rosewood

May 2000 




Note From Chrys:

So I was in a sappy mood. 

Sue me. 

<3,Chrys 



The Story:

Sobbing, I pushed the doorbell button next to Devon's front door. I 
stood there, tears running down my face, fidgeting my hands in my coat 
pocket, as I heard footsteps clumping down the stairs and padding 
across his kitchen. A second later, the porchlight came on, and the 
door creaked open. Devon's familiar, yet sleepy, face appeared through 
the widening crack in the door. 

He squinted at me for a second, then I burst into a fresh round of 
tears. 

"Devon," I sobbed. 

"Honey, what's wrong? Come here," he said, spreading his arm. 

I thankfully collapsed into them, sobbing. 

He guided me into the house, shutting and locking the door, and turning 
off the light. He stepped back and pulled my coat off of me and hung it 
on the rack. "Do you want something to drink? Tea? Coffee? Beer? Wine?" 

Wavering for a moment, my tears momentarily subsided, I said, "I would 
like tea--hell, no, get me a beer or some wine." That brought on a 
fresh round of tears, as I rubbed my hands into my eyes and looked into 
his eyes. 

The look on Devon's face changed from incredibly sad to incredibly 
worried. I'm not a big alcohol drinker. Alcoholism runs in my family. 
He knew this had to be serious. 

"Why don't you go climb into bed, and I'll be up in a moment? I'll get 
you some tea, too, just in case you decide you want some of that." 

Thankfully, I nodded, then began pulling off my muddy shoes. I sat them 
neatly on the rug, watching my tears drip onto his linoleum entryway. I 
stood up tall for a moment, listening to the sounds of my best friend 
bustling around in the kitchen, took a deep breath, and mounted the 
stairs. 

I followed the familiar pathway to Devon's bedroom. The blue sheet and 
comforter were thrown back haphazardly from when he hastened out of bed 
to answer the door. His water glass was half full by his radio alarm, 
which read "1:12." Three books were open face down, stacked one on top 
of another on the nightstand. 

I smiled through my tears. Devon never could do one thing at a time. 
Leave it to him to be reading three books all at once. 

I went over to Devon's night stand and opened the top drawer. I rifled 
through some clothes until I came upon an oversized t-shirt with 
"Harvard" printed across the chest. I slipped out of my silky green 
dress, my pantyhose, and bra, and into the t-shirt. I folded each 
carefully and set them on the rocking chair that was situated in front 
of the window which overlooked his quiet neighborhood. 

Sighing, I sank into his bed and pulled the covers up around my ears to 
wait for my drink. 

I was reduced to intermittent hiccups when Devon got upstairs carrying 
a tray. 

"Here, Raven," he said, sitting next to me on the bed and helping me 
sit up. "I made you some toast with cinnamon and sugar on it, too." 

"My favorite," I smiled, stopped, then burst into tears. 

"Raven!" he said, alarmed. 

"No, it'll--it'll--it's--I'm ok ..." I grabbed a napkin that was on the 
side of the tray and wiped away my tears. I took the tray into my lap 
after I scooted over far enough so that Devon could climb into bed, 
too. 

Silently, I munched on my toast, sipped my tea, then gave up on that. I 
started by sipping the red wine he had in the glass, then added some 
more from the bottle he had balanced on the tray. I thought more and 
more about my predicament. 

Devon simply sat and waited, looking concerned. 

He always knew exactly what to do. 

After the toast was gone, the tea was half gone, and two glasses of 
wine were gone, Devon lifted the tray off my lap. He got up, padded 
across the room, and set it down by his clothes hamper. I looked 
lovingly at the horrendously patterned purple boxers that adorned his 
frame and watched him come back. What would I do if I didn't have a 
friend like this? 

He lifted the covers, climbed into bed, sat me up, fluffed my pillow, 
and let me lay back down. 

He rolled onto his side and looked at me. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, a hint of worry still on his 
face. 

Sipping a third glass of wine, the tears in my eyes spilled down anew. 
"Yes, of course I want to talk about it." 

I began my story. "Dennis and I were going out tonight to celebrate our 
two month anniversary. He took me to a nice restaurant and even ordered 
my food for me. Everything was so magnificent, Devon ... It was so 
beautiful ..." 

Tears ran down my cheeks. 

"After dinner, we went to a movie. It was good, something about 
submarine in World War II. I don't know, you know I'm not big on 
movies, but this one was good." 

Devon nodded. "U-571. Yes, it is good. Very authentic. I saw it. Go 
on." 

I nodded, taking a big gulp of my drink. "Anyway, after the movie, he 
wanted to drive around a little. That was fine with me. We do that 
often. While we were driving, though, he decided to have ... a talk 
..." 

Devon sighed. "Oh, no, you're not saying ..." 

"Yes, I am saying." 

"He decided that either you sleep with him, or let you go?" 

"Oh, Devon, it's horrible! Simply horrible!" I started crying again. 

"Shhh, it's all right." Devon put his arm around me and let me sob. 

"It's just that ... When will I find someone who will understand?" I 
asked. "I want to be in *love* before I sleep with a person! Don't they 
get that? Don't they understand that?" 

Devon nodded. "I know what you mean. Raven, look, if he doesn't 
understand that, then you aren't meant to be with him." 

"I know, Devon, I know. I don't cry so much for him, but for ... for 
the fact that I'll never find him." I sobbed some more. "And, it's like 
... I could explain it to him. I could explain what Henry, that 
bastard, did to me. But that would defeat the purpose. I just want to 
find out what they're really like. And Devon, they're all the same!" 

"Shhh, shhh," he comforted, stroking my hair as I buried my head in the 
pillow. 

"I thought he was different, you know?" I said. "I thought he was going 
to be one that would understand without me having to tell him. But even 
if I told him that my first love raped me, he wouldn't even understand 
because ... I could see it in his eyes! I could just see it!" 

We laid there, Devon having pulled me close and letting me sob. He'd 
taken my wine glass and set it on the nightstand and just let me sob 
all over his chest. 

After a few minutes, my tears once again subsided and I pulled away. 

"You know, I just don't get it," I said. "Why must it be like this?" 

Devon propped his head up with his arm and said, "You know, Raven, I 
don't know." 

"Maybe it's me. Maybe I'm just being stupid. Waiting to have sex again 
until we're both *really* in love. Maybe I should just do it again and 
get it over with." 

"Raven, no!" Devon said sharply. "What Henry did to you may not have 
been a good thing, but something good came out of it. You realized what 
you wanted and realized that for you, sex is for a special person. And 
only a special person deserves that part of you." 

"Well, I thought Henry *was* a special person. That's why I gave away 
my virginity to him. But he didn't get it when I said I wasn't ready 
again ... He made me do it ... Over and over ... And when I wouldn't 
... He raped me, Devon, he raped me! I don't want that to happen 
again." 

I was reduced to a blubbering blob of jelly. Crying and crying, I was 
making one big sobbing mess of Devon's spare pillow. 

"Raven, shhh, shhh, it's ok. Shhh, shhh." Devon ran his fingers through 
my hair, something he knew I loved. 

I finally stopped crying. 

"Devon, I'm so sorry. Waking you up in the middle of the night like 
this." 

"Raven, no! Don't apologize!" Devon exclaimed, looking at me in the way 
only he looks at me. "You know that you're my best friend. I'd do 
anything for you." 

I smiled. "Yeah, I know." That brought new tears to my eyes. His look 
reminded me of all we've been through. He'd been there in seventh grade 
when I got my braces. He'd been there in tenth grade when Henry had 
loved me, then left me. He'd been there all throughout college, through 
boyfriend after boyfriend who didn't understand my wanting to wait. 
He'd been there when we graduated and when we started our jobs, and 
when my mother called me and griped about when she was going to have 
grandchildren. 

And now, here we were, 27 years old, he was here for me again. 

"Devon, I'm so glad that you're here. I don't know what I would do 
without you. You *are* my best friend. I love you." 

"And I love you." Devon stared deeply into my eyes. 

Suddenly, a thought hit me like a thousand volt electric shock. Someone 
once said that if you reach total enlightenment while drinking a beer, 
I bet it shoots beer out of your nose. 

Well, I wasn't drinking the beer and maybe it was not total 
enlightenment, but the thought that struck me had the same effect. My 
head began to spin and my thoughts ran around like an untethered 
chihuahua. 

Suddenly it all became clear. 

In seventh grade, when I got my braces and John Boumont was making fun 
of me, Devon didn't beat him up because he was my best friend ... He 
beat him up because he LOVED me. 

In tenth grade when I told Devon what happened between me and Henry, 
Devon didn't become livid and fly off the handle because I was merely 
his best friend ... He was in a fit of rage for weeks because he LOVED 
me. The reason his senior prom was his self-proclaimed "happiest night 
of his life" wasn't because he got to spend time with me, his best 
friend, it was because he got to escort his TRUE LOVE to the dance. 

"Oh, Devon ..." I said with tears in my eyes. 

He noticed something had changed. "Raven, what?" 

A look of concern washed over his face. I put my hand out and stroke 
his cheek. 

"Devon, how could I have been so blind?" I asked. "All these years." I 
thought back over all my boyfriends ... The looks he gave them ... I 
always thought it was a big brother protectiveness, but then I 
realized, not even my big brothers gave them those looks. How painful 
it must have been for him ... How could I have not seen it? 

"Devon?" I sat up, pulling him up with me. "I understand now. I get 
it." 

Confused, he let himself be drawn up, and let me cup his face in my 
hands. "What are you talking about?" he asked. 

"Devon, you love me. You LOVE me. You ... love me," I said, 
breathlessly. "All these years you've loved me and never said a thing. 
You've just kept it to yourself, not saying a word ..." 

His eyes dropped to his lap. He didn't say anything. 

"Devon, you don't have to be ashamed. You don't get it ... I love you, 
too!" 

His eyes snapped up to look into mine. I lost myself in the blueness 
for a moment, then he said, "You do?" 

"I do," I replied, smiling. 

"I just thought ... You seemed so preoccupied with everything else ... 
You always told me what a great friend I was ... You were never too 
open with your feelings. I just thought ... I assumed you had no 
interest ..." 

"But I do!" 

"Oh, Raven," he said, grabbing my hands. "All these years I've watched 
you and your boyfriends from afar. All I wanted to do when Henry raped 
you was comfort you ... And I did that. I just wanted to be there, your 
steady rock, to be there for you. I thought if I tried to start a 
relationship with you, it would hurt you. I didn't want to ever hurt 
you like Henry did." 

Tears spilled over onto my cheeks. It was a wonder I had any left. 
"Devon, no, I just thought I wasn't good enough for you. I thought you 
didn't love me. You, you came from the *right* side of the tracks. Your 
dad owns that big computer company ... You ... I didn't think you'd 
ever want me. You only go for high class women. Society women ..." 

Devon looked pained. "I only do that because I was afraid other women 
wanted me for my money. But I was never serious with any of them, 
remember?" 

I nodded, then pulled him close to me. "Devon, Devon, I love you. I 
love you so much. I don't remember when I started loving you, but I 
love you. I love the way your hair frames your face. I love the way 
your hands always know how to find the right spots when you massage my 
back. I love how you always have the right words to comfort me. I love 
how you always have something positive to say. I love ... how you love 
me ..." 

We sat there, clinging to one another, lost in the embrace. My chest 
rose and fell and my hands just felt the warmth of his naked back 
soaking into them. 

Devon loosened his grasp on me. "Well, Raven," he said. "I can't 
believe that you finally know." He smiled, blushed, looked down, and 
then looked back up, just like a giddy schoolboy. "You know that I love 
you, and ... you love me, too. You love me!" He exclaimed it with a 
little shout, grinning even wider. 

"Devon ..." I said, my breath catching in my throat. "If I love you ... 
and you love me ..." 

"... and I will never leave you, Raven. Forget about Henry, forget 
about Dennis, forget about all of them ..." Devon's eyes shone with a 
look I'd never seen before. This was a man truly happy. A man who 
couldn't be brought down. 

"Yes, Devon ..." I said, laying back down again. "You love me. And I 
love you. I want you to ... I want you to ..." 

His grin subsided for a moment. "Oh, Raven, no. No, I couldn't. Not 
yet. I *love* you. I don't want to do anything that hurts you." 

"No, Devon, you don't understand!" I sat up again, abruptly. "You won't 
hurt me. You would hurt me more by not making love to me than by doing 
so. The pain that's cut into my soul all these years is simply having 
no one to love. I want to cement this. I want this to be something 
special ... Between you and I ... I want to love you." 

I could see the tears blossoming in Devon's eyes. "Raven, you're sure?" 

I nodded, then pulled his face to mine. Just before our lips met, I 
said, "I'm absolutely sure." 

The kiss started out slow. It was our first kiss. I marveled at the 
years that had flown by us without us ever experiencing so much as a 
platonic hug, even though it was really never platonic for both of us. 
Our lips pressed together, Devon pulled me close to him, then slid us 
to lie down on the bed. Our lips soon parted and I felt his tongue 
enter my mouth. 

It was so warm, so sweet, so passionate. We lay there, entwined like 
that, simply tasting each other for the first time. 

Soon I pushed him away. 

"It's been a long time for me, Devon. It's like riding a bike ... You 
never forget ... But ..." 

"Oh, yes, yes," he said, nodding lovingly and looking into my eyes with 
such an intensity of love that I could feel my insides as though they 
were on fire. "I will do everything, don't worry. I understand." 

Laying me back gently, he made sure my head was on the pillow. He slid 
under the covers and pulled them over us. 

Leaning over me, he started kissing my mouth once again. I pulled him 
to me, letting him explore my teeth and tongue, and then grabbed his 
hand. As we kissed, I pulled it over to my chest and let his right hand 
drop to my breast. I cupped his hand around me, then began to prompt 
him to squeeze and release, squeeze and release. I let go, and he 
continued on his own. 

Breaking from the kiss for a moment, he put his left arm on my side. He 
shifted his weight, then pulled my legs apart. He slid himself between 
them, then lowered himself so that his chest was pressed against mine. 

He kissed me again. 

He pulled away, waiting a moment before he opened his eyes, then said, 
"Oh, Raven, Raven, I love you." 

I smiled. "I love you, too, Devon. With my whole heart." 

He began to explore my body. Starting with my breasts, he rubbed his 
hands over them, and I lay there, drinking in the feeling. He ran his 
hands down my sides, to where my t-shirt ended, then began to pull it 
up. 

I opened my eyes briefly, and watched as he uncovered my breasts for 
the first time. 

He sighed and said, "You're so beautiful, Raven. So beautiful." 

He pulled the shirt up and over my head, and tossed it to the side. 
Smiling, he lowered his lips to my body and kissed my belly button. 

Drinking in the feel of his hands finally touching me, I just lay there 
as he kissed a gentle line up my stomach. When he reached the part in 
my breasts, he sat up and began to caress my breasts with his hands. 
His thumbs made circles upon the nipples, gently rubbing them until 
they stood up. He watched my chest as it rose and fall with silent 
breaths, and we just stared into one another's eyes. 

"Devon, you're beautiful," I said, arching against his fingers. 

He pulled them away and began to suck my right breast. I put a hand 
over his head and just felt the suction pulling me into his mouth. 
"Mmmm," I sighed, feeling the swish of his tongue against my nipples. I 
clung to him. 

He pulled away and I released his head. 

He began to kiss my neck, kissing up and down the nape, back and forth 
across my throat. I could stand it any longer and I pulled his mouth to 
mine in one long, passionate kiss before letting him get back to his 
work. 

He made a trickle of kisses down between my chest again, down past my 
belly button, then stopped at my underwear. He sat up and rubbed the 
sides of my legs. 

"You're sure, honey?" he asked. 

"I'm been sure since the first day I saw you," I said, sighing and 
giving him the most heart rending look I could. "I love you. Please, 
go, now." 

He smiled, then placed a hand on each hip. He hooked his fingers under 
my panties and then slowly began to pull down. 

I watched as he discovered what I looked like, as if he'd never seen 
another woman. The sheet and blanket were pooled on the bed behind him, 
and he looked like an angel in the soft glow of the bedroom lamp. 

Quickly, he moved out of the way, pulled my legs together, and removed 
my panties. He then returned to the position he was originally in. My 
legs were bent, and he was staring, staring deep into the glistening 
wetness of my pussy. 

"Oh, Raven, you're more beautiful than I would ever have imagined," he 
said, looking back into my eyes. 

He dropped his gaze back to my center, which made me burn with desire 
even more. Slowly, he moved his mouth down. Each inch was an eternity, 
but I kept myself from arching up to him. 

Finally, he was a centimeter away from my pussy, and I closed my eyes 
as his lips met mine. 

The warm feel of his mouth touching me in the most intimate of places 
sent shivers through my body. He could feel it, and reached up to grab 
my left hand. 

I took hold as his tongue began to explore my most intimate depths. I 
felt it lick down deep into my vagina, then up and over my clitoris. 
Once again, he repeated his movements, then put deep pressure on my 
clitoris. I cried out, pressing myself into his mouth. 

He continued to move his tongue in slow circles, rubbing over every bit 
of me. Soon his hand let me go to join the other one at my pussy. 

He pushed my lips back, and continued to lick. With his two fingers, he 
began to push up inside of me, letting his tongue take care of my 
clitoris. He did circles with both his fingers and tongue, in opposite 
directions. 

Slowly and slightly rocking back and forth, I moaned his name. "Devon, 
Devon, Devoooon ..." I said, letting my whole body and soul get into 
the rhythm of his licks. 

He was pushing me toward orgasm, lifting me higher and higher. The 
fingers inside of me kept up a steady pulse, finding a space deeper and 
deeper. The tongue swirled around my clit, down the sides, and directly 
over, causing me to cry out. 

Faster and faster he moved, pleasuring me in ways I would only have 
imagined. "Ohhh, Devon, I love you, oh, I love you ..." I moaned, 
nearing the brink. "You ... are ... ohhh ... Devon ..." 

Just as his tongue made one last pass over my clitoris, all the muscles 
in my body tightened. My eyes squeezed shut and I arched into the air, 
driving his fingers deep within me. His tongue flattened itself against 
my hood, and I came into his mouth, squeezing his fingers and moaning 
his name over and over. He held on tight to me until the throes of 
ecstasy passed, then I lay down, relaxed, flat, and he pulled away 
panting. 

"Oh, Raven, that was so beautiful," he said, coming up to where I laid. 
I basked in the feelings he provoked in me, just letting his head lay 
against my still naked breasts. 

I stroked his head for a moment, then stopped. "Devon," I said, "kiss 
me." 

"Are you sure?" he asked, swallowing. 

"Kiss me!" I pulled him up and we entwined in another embrace. I let my 
tongue enter his mouth and we kissed and I let go. "Make love to me 
now." 

He sat up again. "Really?" 

"Yes, yes, oh, yes, really. Make love to me now. Please." 

He looked at me lovingly for a moment, then sat up. "All right." 

I watched as he carefully removed those hideous boxer shorts. I watched 
intently, waiting for the one thing I'd been waiting all these years 
for. Looking up, I saw it as it poked out over the top, and he 
awkwardly pulled the boxers off around his knees without getting up off 
the bed. He sat there for a moment, letting me survey his beautiful 
tumescent cock, savoring the first sight of it. 

Then he moving slowly to the embrace we had before. Only this time, 
there was no clothing between he and I. It was flesh against flesh. 
Skin against skin. And I reveled in it. 

Devon pulled the blanket up around his waist, and then lifted his hips 
high into the air. 

Pulling them back down, he stopped with his penis right outside of me. 
He took the tip of it and rubbed it over my clitoris, down the insides 
of my thighs, and back up again. He circled around my vagina, then gave 
me a clear look. "Are you ready?" he asked. 

"Oh, yes, Devon, I'm ready. Please, make love to me, make love to me." 

I spread my legs even wider, stared into his eyes and waited. He pushed 
himself into me. 

At first all the old thoughts came back, the thoughts of Henry, the one 
and only man I'd had sex with. I was blinded by them for a moment, and 
I knew Devon saw them because he quickly stopped and pulled out. Then 
it all faded away and I could see him lying on top of me, in his naked 
glory, and I smiled. 

"Devon, I really am ready." 

"Really, are you sure?" he looked so terror-stricken. "If you're not--" 

I put a hand to his mouth. With the other one, I grabbed his dick, and 
he gave a little gasp. I stared into his eyes as I found my vagina. I 
pushed a little bit in, then a little bit more, and then I pulled my 
hand away and let him do the rest. 

He was fully inside of me. Devon was all the way inside of me. Devon, 
my true love, the man I will spend the rest of my life with. 

"I love you, honey, I love you," I murmured, as Devon and I stared into 
each other's eyes. 

He kissed me and began to move his hips slowly. 

Agonizingly slow, he pumped himself up and down. I just reveled in the 
feel of it all. The feel of Devon's breath on my lips. The feel of his 
skin pressed against mine. The feel of his hard penis filling me and 
pulling out alternately. Faster he moved, faster still, until we were 
both moaning and groaning. 

"Raven, you're so beautiful ... I love you so much ..." he whispered 
with tears in his eyes. "This ... it's so ... beautiful ..." 

I answered with a sigh of my own. "I love you, too, Devon. Yes, it's 
..." 

We both simply rocked back and forth, pulling each other closer and 
closer, until finally, I could feel his muscles begin to tighten. 
"Raven," he moaned into my throat. "Raven, ohh, Raven." 

I felt his sweet release into me, his muscles shaking and his hips 
jerking as he emptied himself into me. I simply drank it in, the feel 
of my one true love gaining the ultimate release from my body, then I 
could feel my own orgasm begin to split my body in two. 

I clung to him, pushing my hips up into his, squeezing his cock hard, 
and moaning his name. "Devon, I love you, Devon ..." I sighed, feeling 
the sweet pleasure spread throughout my body. 

A few moments later, we both relaxed. He sat up, looked straight into 
my eyes as we were lying there. He kissed my lips once, and I smiled. 

"Raven, that was the most beautiful thing I've ever done with another 
human being." 

I nodded, overcome. 

"Raven ... I have a question ..." 

"Yes?" 

"Will you marry me?" 

Joy filled my soul. "Yes, oh, yes! Devon, I will!" 

He dropped back down and we embraced, clinging to each other, long into 
the night. 

*****

Write me: ChrysRosewood@yahoo.com

http://www.asstr.org/~Chrysoberyl/