Corbin

High School

Chapter 4

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"I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member."
       -Groucho Marx

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You smell that? 

That's smoke coming out of my ears...I'm brain fried this morning.
 
I have no idea how my fingers are even typing....or where these words are even coming from...I'm 
rambling...drifting...I need some coffee...that bed is looking good again...I'm going to be late for work...
 
*YAWN*
 
Well, wasn't that an exciting introduction...if I think of something wonderful I'll come back and write 
something... 
 
**********

It was an awkward, unnerving series of days that followed, simply talking in the hall together was a test in 
anxiety and stress. My friends warning me relentlessly that I needed to 'watch my back', and to some 
degree I couldn't help but keep my guard up at times...'just in case' I would tell myself. But no matter how 
much time went by, something was brewing between me and Taylor, there was just this vibe she was 
putting out that she had a score to settle with me, and Sharon (mostly Sharon I think). Now I don't 
believe in being able to predict the future but I was doing a fine job of being able to mentally picture 
everything that was going to happen that afternoon, before it happened! Subconsciously I wanted this to 
happen and now I have to use that word 'fate' again, because I knew that having me and Taylor in the 
same room was a bad thing...like right now!
 
Damn and I was so close to the end of school year to...

Performing a slight weight shift onto my right leg I raised my arms above my head and clasped my left 
wrist with my right hand before leaning far to the left, then to my right, stretching and pulling my sore, 
tight lat muscles. Dropping my arms I slowly rolled my head back and forth trying to work out some of 
the tension from a physically and mentally exhausting two weeks. I now catch Taylor glancing over at me, 
sensing something bad is going to come out of her big mouth. Another uncomfortable feeling was 
creeping up on me, Taylor was known for being openly gay and her eyeing me made me feel a tad 
uncomfortable. From the corner of my left eye I caught her hands almost rip her shirt off tossing it to the 
ground, now I'm back to picking up this hostile aura from her again...'Maybe she can't decide if she has 
the hots for me or wants to try and kick my ass?' Probably both I guess.
  
Physically there were some pretty major distinctions between our body types; I had that toned almost 
muscular physique with almost no body fat while Taylor's own stocky build was wrapped in a layer of 
body fat, not allot, but enough to soften her look. I guess she enjoyed eating fast food too much to give it 
up in the pursuit of that 'ripped' look.
 
Also, Taylor had been waging a war of words with various classmates against me and Sharon, saying crap 
like;
'How could she befriend that snotty, fucking, bitch!'
'They now hang around each other all the damn time!'
'Pretty soon, Corbin will start to act just like the rest of those bitches!'
  
Janet suddenly came around the corner and opened up her locker, which was next to Taylor's of course. 
"Hey that was a good practice game today, yeah?" Janet piped up and I was swept up with a moment of 
relief, thinking that Janet would be that needed distraction, a saving moment of grace. FAT CHANCE! 
Taylor wasn't listening, "Yeah" I heard her mumble half-heartedly. I should have known, once her little 
mind capsized any better judgment simply got drowned by the moment;
 
"You know what Janet, too bad we didn't get to finish off Princess the other day." I knew Janet to be a 
little more sensible and while she normally took Taylor's lead I could tell she was backing down. Mostly I 
believe because of me, with nothing but my sports bra and shorts on I looked pretty mean and 
intimidating after a workout. 

"Uhhhhhh...Uhhhh, yeah, uhm I know what you mean." Janet stuttered out a half-hearted reply. 

'Smart of Janet not to stick her nose into this unfolding mess.'
Even so I could already feel the blood flowing at a furious pace into my arteries, my ears were doing that 
pounding thing as I prayed; 'Please god make her shut up, please.' I felt like I was being tested and my 
hands lowered to my side as I just stood paralyzed looking straight ahead into that dark locker. It was as 
if the dark void was calling me...that darker side of myself...nice parallel huh?
 
"You know, she looked really cute in her..." came the last straw out of Taylor's BIG, FAT, mouth! 

THAT'S IT!

I slammed my locker shut causing both Taylor and Janet to jump with shock. I slowly, purposively 
stepped over the bench that separated us, even my legs seemed to move of their own accord. My left leg 
found it's footing...then my right as I now stood only feet away from my antagonist. With every move it 
seemed that my anguish intensified as blood just pumped faster thru my heart. It felt like I was stepping 
out of one 'skin' and into another, the old 'Corbin' was still standing back at the locker, calling to me to 
ignore Taylor's taunts, 'Don't go!' my non-confrontational side cried out...

...but it was too late, I watched Taylor blink a couple of times with doubt as she stared at me, maybe a 
little surprised? I don't think she expected me to 'step up' so quickly and hesitated just long enough for 
me to speak, "Shut your fat mouth Taylor and take back what you just said." Not the most intimidating 
comment but I'm winging it here a little. I did lower my voice so as to conceal any nervousness, but wow 
what a rush! My whole body felt alive, my chest rising and falling like my very heart might explode it was 
just unlike any other level of energy I've been able to achieve. But let me reiterate...I do NOT like 
fighting...I just happen to be good at it :)
 
The walls and everything around me started to fade away, leaving just the two of us, I didn't even see 
little Janet anymore.
 
"Why don't you just MAKE ME!" Taylor slammed her locker shut and turned to square up her shoulders. 
'Nice try' I'm thinking, but I can tell she's really scared of me, now how would I know that? I'm no mind 
reader but her eyes are darting all around while I just have this laser-like fixation on her face.

I take another step forward, "Why are you pushing me?"
 
"Why are you hanging out with that bitch!" Taylor was almost yelling. 'Oh so now the truth and while we 
are at it let's ratchet up the yelling now, that's always a good scare tactic.' Regardless Taylor had backed 
herself into a corner with no way out...she couldn't loose face now. But I have no patience for this junk 
and reached out with both hands and shoved Taylor on her shoulders, the next thing you know she was 
flailing her arms, her shoes slipping and down on her back she went! It all happened so fast that I was still 
coming to terms with the fact I had just pushed her down. Taylor fought the fall every inch of the way I 
guess I must have pushed allot harder then I intended, okay that's bullshit, I pushed her pretty hard 
because I wanted to!

"You just have to keep pushing it too far!" It felt as if my heart was sucking all the blood right out of my 
legs and my cheeks flushed with emotion. God I love this sensation! What is wrong with me? 

Taylor scrambled back to her feet and had a perplexed expression, like one of disbelief. I expected and got 
retaliation as Taylor came at me with a hard shove, no dramatic falling here as my torso just twisted a 
little to the side in response, mainly because I was ready for it. "Too far? Yeah! That's right! So what are 
you going to do? Nothing! So fuck you!" Taylor yelled and almost had tears coming out of her eyes, which 
surprised me, I guess her nerves were getting the best of her? 

'So let's get on with this!' my aggressive subconscious chimed in. But then I also heard 'You're in trouble 
now! Fighting is bad!' from my good-sweet side, 'Think about your pristine academic and behavioral 
record at this School!' 

So without further delay I dove in to tackle Taylor to the ground (My little devilish side began jumping 
for joy and cheering me on to kick the snot out of the girl, meanwhile the Angel inside of me huffed and 
shook her head in dismay). I have always been good at mimicking people in sports, show me once and I 
just have it down, so like the wrestlers in our school I go for a take down! Taylor let out this loud grunt 
when I dove in and slammed her down to the ground. "You fucking stupid bitch" I cursed, feels good to 
vent like that since I rarely ever do. Everything was happening so quick and oddly enough I was shocked 
at how easily I hoisted her up and dumped that bitch onto the floor. 

"Fuck!" My opponent cried aloud. I know Taylor wasn't expecting me to be so strong, hell I wasn't 
expecting to be this strong! I'm sure no other girl had literally thrown her around so easily. "Come on 
Taylor!" I heard Janet shout in support of her friend, now that pissed me off even more. The impact of 
hitting the floor was hard enough that even I felt stunned for a second, but quickly we reattached to one 
another. I was still on top but there was this massive amount of flailing, kicking, punching, clawing, it 
was total chaos! I was now in a full-blown fight and my heart and body was racing with adrenaline. I 
made my move and scooted astride her prone body while trying to deflect the slaps and punches Taylor 
was throwing up at me. I was doing a damn good job of deflecting her attacks, and seemed to know 
exactly what to do next. 
 
"Oh shit! Wait you guys! Stop!" Janet yelled.

"Shut up bitch!" I snapped at Janet but never took my focus from the flailing Taylor beneath me. My 
opponent's movements were somewhat spastic and uncoordinated; perhaps it was just a moment of 
desperation as she tried pulling at my hair again. My left hand quickly slapped her right hand away and I 
managed to wrap my fingers with hers to try and control her arm. She resisted of course and Taylor is 
pretty strong, but I just growled and pinned Taylor's right arm over her head easily. Taylor showed no 
restraint with fighting dirty as I felt her left hand try and grab one of my breasts; 'Oh no she didn't just try 
and do that!' My left hand let go of her pinned right arm and punched straight down into her gut, 
'BINGO! Direct hit, I sunk her battleship! Taylor's now coughing and her face looks all red as she gasps 
for air. 

"Hey! Stop! Get off her!" I hear Janet yelling at me, I just ignore her. So now I was moving onto 
accomplishing my next task, inching up my adversaries body and planting my knees into this bitch's 
armpits. I then saw an opportunity and kept Taylor's arm pinned to the floor (no more pinching, boob 
grabbing, clawing, slapping or punching) while trying to pull my left knee up to try and sit astride the 
girl's waist. The layers of perspiration coming off her skin and heavy panting made me suspect that Taylor 
was almost out of gas, soon I hoped she would be saying 'I give!' and the fight would be over so no one 
really gets hurt, especially me!
 
'There!' I thought as I felt secure on top of her, I guess my mouth wanted to step up and take part in the 
action as well; "You kept pushing me didn't you bitch!" I seethed, letting my own anger get the better of 
me.
 
"Yeah I did, so fuck you!" Quick with her own response, "You brought this on yourself, hanging out with 
those fucking snot-nosed cunts!" she shouted back up at me.

"Give up?" I asked.

"Fuck no!" Taylor yelled and thrashed even harder, that pissed me off and all I wanted to do was inflict 
the most pain and subdue this girl. 

"Get off of her!" I was surprised to feel Janet's hands pulling at my shoulders, trying to dislodge me, so I 
turned my attention to the girl at my left, pulling on me. I gave Janet a firm shove as hard as I could and 
she went sprawling backwards, "Get the fuck off me or your next!"

Have I lost my mind? Who is this crazy blonde girl beating up on two schoolmates? I no longer knew who 
I was! Clich‚d, but true! In any case I wanted to hit Taylor again, I mean really hit her, my upper body 
twisted as my right arm chambered and FIRE! It landed with terrible impact and I felt satisfied.

"Oh my god!" Those were the very next words I heard and they were coming from Janet. I looked down 
and saw a smear of red blood beginning to emerge from Taylor's nose, amazing what the sight of blood 
can do and there was allot of it. Taylor suddenly panicked as well as I leaned back, scooting off her body 
in my own surprise at the turn of events, mostly I was surprised at how quickly she started to bleed, must 
have hit a main artery or something. Taylor moved quickly to cup her face while I gathered my wits about 
me and slowly backed further away. I watched her trembling fingers as she touched and pinched her 
nose, the side of her cheek looked pretty swollen and red now as well. 'Wow' I thought, the tears were 
really streaming down her face now as she lay slumped against the wall trying to recover and get her 
bearings. Janet was quick and handed a towel to her friend, watching that white fabric quickly spot red 
got me a little queasy in the stomach.

"Jesus Corbin!" Taylor finally spoke up, her voice clearly trembling with emotion and she had this look of 
bewilderment, like she couldn't believe that she was sitting on the floor holding a towel to her bleeding 
nose. I reached over with my left hand and subconsciously rubbed the fingers of my right, there was a 
slight stinging sensation that had started shooting up thru my knuckles and I flexed my fingers. We both 
used the nose bleed as a good excuse to stop the fight, besides, I was getting out of control and Taylor 
was totally exhausted, she remained slumped against the corner for several minutes, her chest rising and 
falling rapidly with deep breaths, one hand holding a towel to her face, the other clutching her sore 
stomach.
 
"Don't look at me so surprised! What the hell did you expect when you started running your mouth!" I 
suddenly launched into a verbal lashing. 'Yeah! Now cuss her out some more!' the she-devil whispered 
into my ear, encouraging more bad behavior, 'You be quiet! You've caused enough trouble!' my nice 
Angelic side chastised sending the little devil off into the dark corner of my brain. 'Both of you be quiet!' I 
yelled subconsciously at the voices in my head. This is just great, now there are three voices in my head?!  

I stood up on wobbly legs and watched Taylor pull the bloodstained towel from her nose and study it, her 
left hand was still tenderly inspecting her nose, but then threw the towel down in disgust. I wasn't sure 
what to say or do next and contemplated just turning about and leaving, but hesitated. 'I can't leave 
things like this', maybe deep down I wanted to try and salvage something out of this terrible turn of 
events. The better, more reserved part of my personality began to take control of my senses, and so I 
extended my right hand down to help Taylor get up. Janet followed our lead also getting to her feet, 
falling back into the role of quiet spectator. Taylor groaned and made a painful facial expression as she 
went to stand up. Most unsettling was the physical comparison now; smears of blood around her upper 
mouth and face, her lips and left cheek swollen and very red, overall she looked a disheveled mess. I on 
the other hand looked a little flustered, but one could hardly tell I was in a fight.
 
"I'm sorry." Taylor mumbled which caught me off guard, I distinctly heard her voice crack with emotion 
and the tears began to run down her cheeks. And now I'm giving her a hug and she's sobbing on my 
shoulder saying how she always liked me and never wanted things to come to this, asking for my 
forgiveness! This is crazy! Now I am consoling this girl? What the heck!

Taylor pulls herself together quickly, my eyes traveled to look over at Janet who remained standing like 
some statue, her eyes wide with disbelief looking back at me. 

Wow what a change of scenery, the late afternoon sun was hanging a little low as I emerged from the 
girl's locker room and took a deep breath of the cool air, while some humidity hung in the air it was 
noticeably better then the oppressive heat of the locker room I was leaving behind. The slight breeze 
chilled my body, as I approached my car, I watched people milling about outside, going about their 
daily business, 'So strange' that I should feel paranoid, out of body almost, as if I had done something 
very wrong. I felt the tension rise in my back, waiting for the teacher, security guard or Principal to come 
running up to me any second, to scold and punish me for fighting, to suspend or expel me even. 'It goes 
against everything I've been taught, so why is there some feeling of liberation in what just happened?'

'Because kicking-ass feels great!' the she-devil in me roared.
'Silence!' the angel's voice commanded.
'Both you be quiet!' I think to myself.
Great I'm having a three-way conversation in my head, I need to see a Therapist, or Priest, or both! 

Everything seemed to move in a little slower motion, as a strange calm settled in over me as I drove in an 
almost Zen like state. Where I was driving to at that moment I really wasn't sure.
