"Into the Woods" by With Sue (suenh@kear.tdsnet.com). Try this pickup line the next time you encounter a really attractive blonde: "Are you the Sue who writes erotic stories on the Internet?" If she says yes, have pleasantly ecstatic sex with her. If she says no, then say, "Do you come here often?" or "What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?" or "Either smile or slap me if you'd like to have sex with me."

In the present story a guy named Dave meets the real Sue in the woods and he tells her that her stories are by far the best on alt.sex.stories - better than all the drivel that's usually posted there. Such exaggeration is understandable, since by this time Dave was interested in getting into Sue's pants or helping her resolve a plot; but Sue's stories are not really quite that good. They're better than 95% of what's posted here and competitive with the very best; but this story is based on Dave's pickup line, and so we'll let his hyperbole stand.

So anyway, Dave tells Sue that "Louvre Love" is his favorite among all her stories. This is blatantly silly! Aside from "Life's a Beach," "Louvre Love" is probably Sue's WORST story! Dave's statement is really an insidiously complicated pickup line. He expects Sue to respond with something like, "Louvre Love my Lovely Ass! Let me re-enact a scene from Craftsmanship with you!" By starting with Louvre Love, Dave can eventually get Sue to work through all of her plots that are better than that one, including "Slippery When Wet," "Lab Partners", and "Red Hot". Good Grief! That's right - there's also "Good Grief", "To Serve and Protect" and even "Adventureland", to say nothing of "Coffee Table", "Fun with Dick and Jane", "Film at Eleven", "Lucy in the Sky" or the great withSue stories like "Across the Catty Corner" and "Weekend on the Island."

I was right - or at least close! In the middle of the story, Dave and Sue decide to work out the plot for a new story called "Into the Woods," which - surprisingly enough - is this very story that I am reviewing! Well, actually they act out the basic details, and then I suppose Dave or Sue wrote the actual story back at the computer.