"Nottamun Town" by Mr Spraycan (mrspraycan@mailanon.com). Guest review by Kim.

Hey, I must be doing something right: Celeste keeps on sending me stories to review. So without further ado here we go. {Note from Celeste: I recently read a disclaimer to a story that said, "Without further adieu...." Kim has it right!}

This is not the normal type of story to appear in ASS - at least not the sort I have read many of anyway. This is a tale of sword and sorcery about a guy who's at a party and has a bit of a fugue, and then wakes up two weeks later, naked and singing on a London park bench. From there he's dragged off to the funny farm, where he relates to a shrink that he's been to a place of magic during the interim. The tale then launches into a flashback mode, and we follow his trials and tribulations.

His adventures in a strange land begin when he is seduced by a passing witch. After several close encounters with the witch our hero decides to journey on to the eponymous town of the title, accompanied by the witch's talking cat. Now I wish I myself had a talking pussy, but I digress (yeah, obvious I know). On the way the cat explains the economy of the land: people get paid for being publicly flogged and humiliated so that the local chief bad guy can absorb all the psychic energy this gives off. Oh, and all the residents wander around naked; and the native form of greeting consists of the reciprocal thrusting of genitals at each other.

After a few more adventures our hero decides to confront the evil ruler and challenge him and his even nastier lady sidekick to a duel of magic and fisticuffs. Our hero's magic consists entirely of his ability to sing the lyrics from a song by Fairport Convention. Enough magic by anyone's standards, I think you'll agree.

It all ends in tears, of course, with the hero back in the company of the shrink, who is admonishing him for consuming cheap alcohol and illegal drugs. The story ends on a rather touching note, as we find our hero a year later still pining for the love of the witch he first met {and bedded} at the beginning of his odyssey.

According to the author's web page, a semi-commercial site incidentally, this whole story was inspired by a bad drugs experience he once suffered.

*** Warning - pointless moralizing by reviewer ***

Remember folks just say NO. If you want a mind altering experience then go read a book!

*** Pointless Moralizing Mode Off ***

Well, what did I think about it? I have to say, I thought it very well written and engrossing. I was quite sad when it was over. I wouldn't mind reading some more of the adventures of the magical Nottamun Town and its surroundings. I would point out however, that to my mind, it was virtually devoid of anything erotic, but as an interesting piece of story telling it was first rate. If you can't stand fantasy, then you're not gonna agree with my ratings; but then it's my review, so there.