"And Then I Fucked Her" by Mike Hunt (MrM1ke@aol.com). Fucking Mike Hunt! I was reading this story, and Mike was quoting Michael K. Smith's essay on "How To Write Sex Stories Good," which is one of my favorite essays on that topic. Then I realized that he was poking fun at Michael K.! Well, OK; humor I can understand. So as I read on, I said to myself: "This is a really great story! Look at all these long quotations and how well Mike Hunt has handled the quotation marks!" This was especially gratifying, since in one of my recent issues of CR (the one before I discussed blonds and blondes) I had discussed quotation marks. But then he left off an end quote! I was getting all hot and horny, and now I didn't know who the hell was talking. To top it off, he spelled the same person both "blond" and "blonde." It was like taking a really cold shower during an orgasm. What next? Will he "lay down next to the blond on the bed?

{Wow! The subtle irony in that last sentence overwhelms me. Maybe I had better explain it....}

The bad news is that this isn't really much of a story at all. The good news is that Mike Hunt tells a good story even when he's not telling a story. And fortunately, this non-story is really sexy. It's mostly about sex in a movie theater and at a butcher's shop. Well, the actual story is about sex in and around a dentist's office; but the real action takes place between the lines - actually, above and below the lines.

I've given Mike Hunt a lot of thought, and I imagine you have too. {Some sentences in this review don't have their full impact unless they are read out loud, or at least loudly to one's internal audience.} In fact, I have been suspicious about Mike Hunt's identity. I had a theory that Mark Aster was in some way connected with Mike Hunt, because I had never seen the two of them in one place at the same time. However, just today I found newly posted stories by both authors, and I doubt that Mike Hunt is clever enough to use a deliberate subterfuge to throw me off track.

I used to think that I could spot Mike Hunt's stories by their style alone. For example, the present story uses the word "baloney" two times: once immediately preceding "pony" and once during a conversation with a blond(e) whom he hoped to fuck in a butcher shop. {That sentence becomes less ambiguous if we put "in a butcher shop" right after "conversation," but I think Mike Hunt would prefer it this way.} Anyway, that's the way Mike Hunt would use baloney. So I know this is Mike Hunt's work.

The problem is that Mike Hunt has imitators. For example, Taria recently published "Soft Ball," which was a story about rather than by Mike Hunt, and yet it sounded like something that had really sprung forth from Mike Hunt. The word "sophomoric" has been overused with regard to Mike Hunt's writing; but my online thesaurus suggests no alternatives - just a misspelling for "soporific," and Mike Hunt is certainly not soporific. So we'll go with raunchy, sexy, titillating, humorous, and generally arousing.

But he uses the word "tits" only six times. Not good enough! As the Sex Nazi said on Seinfeld, "No sex for you!"