"Birthday Present" by OddManOut Anywhere

"Birthday Present" by OddManOut Anywhere (oddman0ut@hotmail.com). Jeff is a bit upset, because his girlfriend Monica has gone on an anthropological field trip instead of being with him on his birthday. To reduce his own misery, Jeff has decided to spend the evening of his birthday on an anthropological field trip of sorts - that is, he goes to a frat party, where a voluptuous blonde who is a student of animal husbandry or something hands him a note that says: "Happy Birthday! I'm very sorry I wasn't able to be with you today. However, I am giving you a present so that you won't miss me too much this week. Your present is named Judy, and she is a good friend of mine from the swim team. Judy has been instructed to sexually satisfy you in any way you wish, at any time between today and next Friday. Upon your command, she will fuck you, give you blowjobs, and allow you to tie her up or do anything else to her that crosses your mind. The only limitations on what you can do are:

1. No permanent damage, of course.
2. No unprotected sex.
3. No bringing in other people. This gift is for you alone. I wouldn't want to fuck other guys for your birthday, so I don't see why my proxy should, either.

"Oh, shit!" says Jeff; "I can't do this. It would be wrong!" No; actually Jeff ignores the moral ambiguity of the situation and decides not to look a gift whore in the mouth. Oh - and he decides to forgive Monica!

My immediate reaction was: What if this is a hoax? I mean, how does Jeff really know that Monica is behind the alleged gift? What if Swimmer (the name given to the slave/present) is just an itinerant sex maniac who wants to give him a week of unmitigated bliss? In addition, I'm not a lawyer or a prostitute or anything like that, but isn't there a possibility of a bad precedent here? Couldn't a spouse caught in the act simply claim, "Hey! She told me she was a present from you!?"

Being a Master can be tough. For example, what does a Master do when the slave wants to do the dishes but the master wants a blowjob? Such conflicts are common and could result in violations of health codes in parts of Australia. Jeff's predicament is further complicated by the fact that Swimmer is an excellent maid and cook: June Cleaver crossed with Pauline Reage. I mean, this lady actually accepts rear entries while she cooks pancakes in the nude - generating as a by-product a small but delicious supply of syrup for the pancakes! In addition, while having a sex slave merely distracts a guy from doing research, it makes listening to a Statistics lecture damn near impossible!

There could be a TV series in this: "Touched by a Swimmer." The show could be completely devoid of both plot and acting ability, except for attractive but insipid protagonists who mysteriously can do almost anything while they jiggle their tits and toss their hair from side to side and spectators ogle their cute little asses. The show could convey educational tidbits like those in the story: edible underwear may be a novelty to see, but it is uncomfortable to wear, and it is awful to the taste. Thumbs down! Of course, the really "good parts" could not be shown on prime time television; these supplementary materials would have to be accessed via website or perhaps 900 chat lines. This idea is so crazy, it just might work!

Sometimes I "disenjoy" stories that include sexual bondage. I get my back up and assume that pain and degradation are bad. But if the context is right - for example, if after the finale of the gangbang the target's entire body is coated in a mixture of sweat, cum, chocolate, and whipped cream, showing dark marks where the participants had poured the hot caramel, her blond hair matted to her skin and to itself by strings of semen, bruised around the thighs, butt, and breasts, where six men have pawed her continuously throughout the evening, and a huge smile on her face - well, then maybe bondage not so bad after all.

This was a creative, well written story. I hope to see many more by this author.