"I Learn to Think, or, Fun with Dick and Brain" by Estragon (rgt@well.com). I nearly died laughing while I read this story. I have never been an adolescent boy, but this HAS to be how they think when they encounter the first intelligent and attractive female who has authority over them. The story is written in the format of a journal for a philosophy class - a class that discusses how people think. Sounds boring; but it's not. The author comes up with some bizarre insights that are so crazy that they simply MUST be true.
As I read the story I could see the philosophy course syllabus unfolding in front of me. For example, the most likely reason a student would compare his thinking about the TA to lumpy shadows on the wall of a cave would be because he had just encountered that topic {Platonic images, not TA's} in the course syllabus.
One interesting thought that is NOT explored in the story is the fact that since the journal is written FOR Ms Altman, then she'll obviously have to read what the writer has written; and it's fun to speculate about what her reaction will be.
Incidentally, my favorite philosophical cartoon may be apropos here. It shows a philosophy professor writing on the chalk board, "I think, therefore I am." The student in the back row leans over and whispers to the scholar next to him, "Oh, no! We don't even exist!" Think about that one, Ms Altman! Then there's the graffiti from the library restroom: "Coito, ergo suk." The general concept is probably true, but it's bad Latin.