"The Real McCoys" by Shelby Bush (stbush@iglou.com). Grandpappy Amos (played by Walter Brennan with a limp) has to go into town "to get himself a hoe." The hoe's name is Carmelita. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Little Luke has been peeping into his sister Hassie's bedroom to watch her get dressed; but now he's in deep shit, because she has caught him in the act. Out in the barn, Pepino and Maria are going at it like bunnies in heat in a secret compartment under bales of hay. That leaves Luke and Kate, doing what newlyweds are supposed to do.

This episode's sitcom problems are easily resolved. Hassie teaches Little Luke to do it with no hands. Pepino (who looks a little like an organ grinder) introduces Maria to El Grande. Hassie stops calling Little Luke little. Somebody somewhere says, "Fuck me, senor!" while someone somewhere else watches Luke and Kate do what newlyweds do.