"Forget All That" by Uther Pendragon (anon584c@nyx.net). I suppose the main characteristic of the sexual activity in Uther Pendragon's stories is that it is both delightfully arousing and arousingly delightful. In addition, the sexual activity is a perfectly natural part of each story. We don't read about sexual athletes or people under the mystical influence of mind control; we read about people like ourselves or our parents twenty or fifty years ago. It turns out we might have been interesting and sexy people.

And then we have the aphorisms - adages that would make Benjamin Franklin proud.

**** "There is room for two in a twin bed, but not for two and a wet spot."

**** "Daughters and husbands both create messes, but my daughter and my husband are both worth it."

This chapter in the Brennan saga is written from Jeanette's perspective, and it includes her perfect description of her perfect man: "His puns are execrable, his vocabulary can make me blush, he thinks that passing gas is funny, his version of vacuuming a carpet isn't worth plugging the machine in, he can out-stubborn a cat without even trying. He will, however, hug me when I need it without my telling him why I need it. And no, you can't have him." When you mix that sort of thing with discussions of family finances, parenting skills, French phrases that are easily transparent to non-francophiles, and really hot and tender sex, the result is a darned good story.

As this story begins, Bob and Jeanette have now been married for ten years. Imagine that. The Kitten (their daughter) is not yet a year old. They have returned to Bob's parents' house to celebrate Christmas and to make this story eligible for the Celestial Christmas Story Contest. The story is a remarkable combination of current activities and flashbacks to Bob's and Jeanette's earlier lives together and apart. I laughed and I cried and visited my own version of Bob for orgasmic and comic relief. What more can a girl ask for in a story?

The story is long on "relationships" - in this case with a focus on the relationship between Bob and his family. In addition, within this line of thought the author gives us sometimes lengthy digressions on complex topics. For example, we get a complex lecture on economics from Bob's father. This is boring - but that's the point: the old man goes off onto perplexing tangents, but that's part of his personality. I think it is always difficult to deal with relevant but extraneous information in a story where the readers will be looking for erotic impact. I suppose this author could improve, but I think he already does a pretty good job. My advice is, if you find yourself reading a paragraph that sounds way too complex, just read it without trying to understand all the details. There's a good chance the author is just trying to give the impression that the characters are having complex thoughts - he's probably not really trying to teach you any French or economic theory.

As in many other episodes of the "For" stories, the author throws in tantalizing details that make us wonder, "What was that all about?" For example, in this episode Bob and Jeanette visit her family as well as Bob's. The details of that visit led me to suspect that Jeanette had been subjected to some form of childhood sexual abuse from which Bob wants to protect his wife and his daughter. The author handles this kind of innuendo extremely well.

Penultimately, let me give you non-francophiles some free help. Bob and Jeanette are long on puns. The main pun in this episode occurs whenever the baby says, "Oooh." Each time this happens Bob immediately replies (often in French), "No, it's not August; it's December." Ya see - The French word for August sounds remotely like "Oooh," and since Jeanette is a student of French....

Finally, please note that the story has been reposted in revised form by John Dark (john_dark@anon.nymserver.com).