What Santa Claus, Heroes and Great Sex have in common
By Lubrican

First off, this isn't about sex. Well it is, but maybe not in the
sense you might think about, what with this being posted at a
site full of erotica.

I say that first, because the people who just decided not to read
any further wouldn't understand what follows anyway. Now that
they're gone, they won't distract the rest of us from having a
somewhat serious reflection on some very serious concepts.
"Santa Claus?" say a few of you out there. "Serious concept?" (
Head scratching goes on) "Who is he trying to kid? Everybody
knows there's no Santa Claus!"

Well, the fact is, I beg do differ. And if you'll read on, I
think I might even convince a few of you.

But let's start with the concept of heroism first. Is there such
a thing as a hero?

Of course there is. Everybody believes in heroes, even though
they may have never seen one, or been one. Everyone has at least
heard of some heroic act, that some faceless otherwise normal
person did on the spur of some moment, and in some particular
circumstances. I don't even need to give you an example of a
heroic act. Everybody can already think of one, even if it's only
hypothetical.

Now, let's examine the hero you're thinking of, hypothetical or
otherwise. Is that person a hero every day? Not counting those
professions painted with the graffiti brush of heroism, like
firemen, policemen and military personnel, your average hero is
just like the person reading these words.

A hero is just like you, who is suddenly faced with a terrible
situation.

Something happens, and the person or people present have to make
very quick decisions. Somebody needs help, or is in danger, and
getting involved in helping that person, or mitigating that
danger, presents danger to the potential heroes who are present,
but are not yet caught up in that imminent danger. The hero
decides to act. He ... or she ... puts his or her (that's the
last time I'll make you endure that) safety in jeopardy ... to
help someone else.

The argument about whether or not a hero has time to think about
it is for another time and place. Nor will we go into what the
hero thinks he may get out of it. I'm really talking about the
person who just decides to help, at risk of his own safety,
because helping is just the right thing to do. It's instinctive
... a result of how you were raised, perhaps.

It's a selfless act of courage, to help someone else who needs
help.

Can anybody be a hero?

I think not. I think there are those among us who would stand
back and say something like "Not my problem," or maybe "She got
herself into this ... she can get herself out of it," or maybe
even "I have kids at home, who depend on me. I can't risk getting
hurt."

I understand there is room for argument here, but there is only a
limited amount of space to discuss this. But, on the face of it,
you get the drift.

"Hero" does not describe any particular person, place or time.
Most of you have the capacity to become a hero. It just hasn't
happened to you yet.

Now, what does that have to do with Santa Claus?

I won't go into the origins of Santa. You can look that up
yourself. What I do want to go into is how some people don't
believe in him. I'm not talking about the red suit here, or the
beard, or the "Ho,ho, ho" part of what modern society has made
him into. I'm talking about the spirit of giving.

That's what a hero has, deep down inside. He has a giving nature.
He wants to help those who need help, whether he knows them or
not. Santa is like that. It's all about ... giving.
Think about it. Not counting the cookies and milk, what does
Santa get out of the deal?

Nothing.

He's not trying to get something out of the deal. He wants to
give. He wants people ... not just children ... to be happy. He
wants to give us the lift that we all get when someone does
something nice for us, without us having to ask, and without
there being any strings attached.

Like a hero, Santa is just like you. Most of you have the
capacity to be a hero, and those of you with that spirit also
have the capacity to become Santa.

You don't go out and say "Hey buddy, I'm going to get in a real
scrape here, in a few minutes, and I'd really appreciate it if
you'd be a hero and save my butt."

So why do we ask Santa for everything under the sun? What does
that make Santa into? It makes him into something you can't
believe in, because there is no spirit there. All there is there
is selfishness.

We, who have the capacity to become Santa, also have the capacity
to kill him.

A lot of us have done just that. As "responsible parents" or
"responsible adults", we feel compelled to tell children "There
really isn't a Santa. It was just a game to play with you when
you were little."

Then we turn around and establish programs to "commit random acts
of kindness".

Ask a typical teenager when he decided that this Santa crap was
... crap. He'll more than likely say something like "I asked for
a Basilthorn Knockwhiffle action figure and the old fraud didn't
come through."

We have made Santa into the epitome of selfishness ... a gimme,
gimme, gimme situation, in which there will always result failure
and disappointment.

I know Santa exists ... the genuine Santa ... the spirit of
giving that creates real people who give, without being asked to
give, just because it's a nice thing to do. Heroes have that
spirit. People who volunteer at soup kitchens have it. It's the
same for those who willingly donate to the Salvation Army, or a
myriad of other organizations that represent ... and become ...
the jolly old elf that millions of people don't believe in.
The movie "Pay It Forward" is a really good example of people
being Santa. If you haven't seen it, rent it. It's a very good
movie.

Just as there is no particular person that IS the concept "hero",
there is no particular person that IS the concept "Santa."

So why do we say heroes exist ... and Santa doesn't?

So, for the sake of argument, let's agree that heroes exist, or
can exist, and Santa exists, or can exist.

What the fuck does that have to do with great sex?

Well, let's just look at that last sentence. What stands out in
it. The expletive stands out. It's a crass, socially unacceptable
word that some people use to mean sex.

Everybody thinks sex is a great idea. So what's wrong with the
word "Fuck"?

"Fuck" carries the connotation of something unhappy. It's used
for lots of things, but most of them are unhappy situations.
"What the Fuck?"

"That's fucked up, man."

"Your fucking ass is mine, motherfucker!"

"Get fucked!"

"Go fuck yourself."

"Where are the fucking keys?!"

"You are one stupid fuck!"

Is it therefore any wonder that when you say something like "I
want to fuck ... let's fuck, baby," that it may not be received
with a wide smile.

No doubt about it, sometimes it IS received well. I guess what
I'm saying is that it's possible that people who want to "fuck"
may very well be the same people who will stand back in an
emergency and say "Hey, it's not my problem."

That's open for argument too.

What I'm really trying to say is that great sex is about giving,
and not necessarily getting.

Think about the hero and Santa again, just for a second. What do
they get out of what they do?
They feel good. They did something for someone, and it makes them
feel good.

Great sex is like that. When your partner makes that particular
sound that you KNOW is real, and you KNOW is genuine, and that
you KNOW means you have taken them to a place where they just
purely love to be ... you can't help but feel good about that.
Of course that involves paying attention to your partner, just
like being a hero means paying attention to the needs of someone
in trouble, and being Santa means finding ways to give without
claiming credit for the gift.

That's why I don't understand men who patronize prostitutes. She
doesn't love him. She is highly unlikely to get any real physical
pleasure out of the act. Sure, she gets some money, but it's on
the "fucking" level of things. It's not great sex. I'd even argue
it can't ever BE great sex. Unless, of course, the John falls in
love with the hooker, and actually begins to care about her.
Don't laugh. It could happen.

Great sex is all about giving. If you have the right partner,
she's doing the exact same thing, which means she's giving to
you, just like you're giving to her. It's one of those
pay-it-forward kinds of things, when everyone is participating,
except that paying it forward happens in just a few minutes,
instead of who knows when.

Great sex is about putting your partner's needs first, and
seeking your own gratification a little later, or in some
situations, maybe not until a LOT later. Great sex is about
discerning what your partner needs, right now, in the moment, and
giving her that gift, even if it's at the expense of your own
immediate pleasure. Great sex is the process of making love.

Remember how "Fuck" can be used with all kinds of negative
connotations?

Just imagine trying to take that concept - "Making Love" - and
turn it into something crass or hurtful. We could try some plug
and play here, just for fun.

"What the Lovemaking?"

"That's lovemaking, man."
"Your lovemaking ass is mine, mother-lovemaker!"

"Get made love to!"

"Go make love to yourself."

"Where are the lovemaking keys?!"

"You are one stupid lovemaker!"

* Sigh * It just doesn't have the same ring to it, somehow.

In fact, it's almost impossible to twist the concept of making
love ... of great sex ... into anything other than what it is.
Does that exist?

Sure it does.

Just like heroes exist.

And Santa.

==================================================

Now, lest I be accused of being so sticky sweet that people will
want to puke, I must say a word about Scrooge too.

Scrooge exists. I don't think anybody would argue about that.
Scrooge is the person who sues the hero because the hero didn't
save him perfectly.

Scrooge is the person who receives the gift, and doesn't
appreciate it.

Scrooge is an ungrateful, selfish fucker.

Scrooge is the person who says "There is no Santa," because he
wants the credit for any "gifts" he gives.

==================================================

You may never be called on to be a hero. That would be good.
You are desperately needed as Santa. Instead of a blood drive,
I'm calling for a Santa drive. Become Santa. Insist that the
spirit of giving lives, and become that spirit, not just in
December, but whenever you get the chance.

And if you're willing to be a hero, or Santa ... don't be
surprised if great sex comes your way too.

They are, after all, quite similar.



