Opening up - part1  by BRob.  (MF, implied bi, creampie, fsub, msub, romantic?)


I had come to understand her desire over the years.  Not through any profound insight of her nature, but rather through a realization of my own.
 
She was an exquisite woman.  Not in that she was a movie-star beauty, but rather she had a quality about her that allowed her to carry herself with confidence, and with a sense of presence and sensuality that, to my thinking, only comes when someone is very comfortable in their skin.   She knew herself, she was content and successful and happy. 
 
This all translated into this woman who was truly beautiful from the inside.  Physically she was very attractive.  While that's not entirely what made her such a beauty, it was something she indeed was proud of.  She was thin and fit, with nicely curved hips, medium breasts that seemed perfect for her body, a mouth and smile that could warm a room.  And she had these incredible eyes that spoke to you.  

Her eyes, how to explain.  They seemed to let you know there was always a secret hiding behind them, a secret just for you, a secret that would make your dreams come true.
 
While content, she also had desires.  Her and her husband had begun years before experimenting  with a lifestyle that allowed them to play with others, enabled by the freedom of her children having grown up and moved away.  They learned to enjoy others, they respected each other, but each enjoyed the diversion as well.  
 
I had been communicating with her for years, Iknew her as she and her husband began to embrace this new life of theirs.  I even encouraged her.
 
At the same time though, her desires, she wanted to be a naughty girl.  A bad girl.  Even with the sharing lifestyle her and her husband had embraced it was difficult for her to let herself go.   She wanted to be a plaything, wanted to be taken advantage of, or maybe just taken..  She wanted to do these things and know that no-one would think less of her.
 
She knew I would never think less of her.  I loved the idea of her being this way, of having her as MY plaything.  I wanted to help her become this person, if only for short periods.  It was one of our secrets.  She could never do these things of her own accord.  I knew that it would need to be for someone else, I sometimes thought that  she wanted to feel absolved of the responsibility, of the consequences, of the stigma that would be associated with acting this way "of her own free will."
 
Not that she needed to be forced.  It was much more subtle than that.  She just needed to know she could relax some of society's morals, but it would be not because it was something she wanted, instead she would do it because it was sometime I wanted.  She knew it was how I wanted her to be.  And I did.  I wanted her to be my slut.  My naughty girl.
 
She knew I would keep her safe.  She knew I would take care of her.  She knew I would always love her, in fact I think she knew I would love her even more.  I liked to imagine her being mine, but wanted her to know she could be with others and that I would always be there for her.  When we spoke, and she would tell me about a night where she knew she was going to be fucking someone else, or even her husband, I would tell her to do it for me.  Ask her if it was for me.  Make her answer.  It turned me on to know end, a bit of a word game, but it told of this life we both had desires for.
 
I wanted to help her, take her free will away to some extent, help her do things she couldn't do on her own.  She knows I wanted this as much as she did, I think she reveled in how it excited me too.  There is no doubt, she can feel the reaction in me, literally.  Even now, writing this, I can feel myself throbbing.  
 
I know all of this now, thought it took me a while to realize it.  I know it partially because I am describing myself.  My relationship with her, it has taught me a lot about myself.  I have desires that I scarcely admit to myself.  Desires that I don't think I could ever act on, on my own anyway.  I need someone to take the will away from me.  Desires I don't think I ever even confessed to myself before her.  To this day desires I have only ever confessed to this one person.
 
I've never considered myself bisexual, I don't find myself attracted to men.  I can appreciate a man, see that he is attractive.  This is much the same way I imagine a woman being able to appreciate the beauty of another woman.  But (there's always one of these isn't there?) I have desires that I suppose would make me bisexual in the true sense of the word.  
 
Over the years, I've learned to be able to truly appreciate the sexuality of a man.  I've never touched a man other than myself.  I don't find myself seeking them out, in person, in photos or otherwise.  But, seeing images of a man with a woman, any variety of ways - her hands wrapped around him, or her lips, his cock sliding across her breasts, or into her.  
 
Well, these scenes just make me want to be there.  To feel it sliding past my fingers as her pussy stretches to accommodate the stiffness.  Or kissing a woman and tasting it on her lips.   I even will sometimes think about what it would feel like to kiss a woman while she is sucking on it, her hand wrapped around him, her mouth moving back and forth between our kisses, and his cock.
 
Does this make be gay?  I don't think so.  I suppose it does make me bisexual though.  I have no desire to be with a man on my own, but with her, most definitely!  It's a bit confusing.
 
I've learned that I love to go down on a woman after I've cum in her.  It's one of the few things that can get me aroused for a second go around.  When I'm doing it, I'm usually imagining it's another man who has cum in the woman I'm with.  That I'm cleaning it up.  Sometimes I even think about doing this as her lover lays there at her side, kissing her in that after-sex glow.  
 
But all of this desire, and I would never act on it on my own.    I could do all of these things, and much more, if she was with me -  If she asked me to, if she helped me.  Perhaps I need her to blindfold me.  Perhaps I need a bit of domination.  Perhaps I just need the opportunity.  Regardless, I want her there with me, that first time.  Her hands in my hair, pushing me forward to take it into my mouth, encouraging me, whispering into my ear...
 
There, I said it.  I want it, but I need help, I need to do it because she wants me to, not because it's something I want. 
 
Realistically I understand it's a bit of a game I'm playing.  But I feel the need to rationalize before I could ever take such a step.  "I'll do it for you." or "She wanted me to."   It the stuff my fantasies are made of.
 
I relate all of this because I think this helps me to understand her.  I say I understand her, at least in my mind I do.  I believe that she has desires that she perhaps couldn't act on, not on her own.  I might be deluding myself.  I do know she is an incredibly sexy woman.  I do know I can share anything with her.  The feeling of freedom that provides is amazing.  That she knows my secrets, my desires.  This sharing makes me feel so vulnerable, and alive at the same time.  

The first time we got together was incredible.  We had communicated electronically for so long, but we had never physically explored each other, never learned exactly what made those little sounds come forth, never found for myself those secret places.  We had cum for each other many times over the phone, but in person was so much better.
 
In the beginning things were so needful.  There was no restraint.  I have to confess it was very erotic, taking her like that, letting myself be totally selfish.  Throw her over, no real sense of anything except taking what I wanted.  Panties pushed aside, hands gripping her hips, pushing deep, finding her completely wet and ready, knowing she would never refuse me.  Then gripping her hair in my hand as I fucked her from behind, making her watch in the mirror, her neck stretched taught, watching me pounded into her, hard, deep.
 
I remember thinking at that moment, how I'd like to see someone fucking her mouth at the same time.  That image was in my mind as I came.  My first orgasm in almost 2 weeks - I had been saving myself for this night.
 
Then I was holding her.  Tender, sensual.  We both lay there catching our breath.   When she finally pushed me over onto my back and straddled me, I remember my hands shaking as she teased "I've got something for you baby."
 
She looked down at me.  Sitting on my chest.  She made me ask for it, made me tell her exactly what I wanted.   She ran her fingertip through her pussy, so close.  Pleeeease.  I was reduce to this desire.  I saw it glistening as she put it to my lips, I closed my eyes and tasted...
 
I think I might have been hyperventilating.  I remember my head swimming.  Then I remember feeling her pressing down, rubbing herself into my face.  I pushed my tongue deep inside.  Then she began rocking on me, my mouth, my face.  


That moment is a bit hard to describe.  It was thrilling, and fulfilling, and humiliating, all at the same time.  I wondered what she thought of me, as I cleaned her, as I sucked on her.  At the same time I wouldn't have traded that moment for anything in the world.  It was a moment I had thought about many times, masturbated to often.  
 
At some point, she had turned around, and I felt her hand wrap around me.  That was when I realized I was fully hard again.  She would sort of lean back into me, pushing herself down onto my mouth, driving my tongue deeper into her.  When she pulled forward and took me into her mouth, I moaned out loud, relishing the warm wetness of her mouth.  I looked up and was treated to an incredible sight.  Her position, straddling me like this, leading forward...  Her pussy was just over my chest.  The lips were swollen and red, parted open.  

I reached around and touched it.  Wet, sticky, hot.  As my fingertip slide between her swollen lips, she pushed back, her  mouth coming off of me as my finger sank deep into her.  Then just as quickly she was back down, her mouth enveloping me.  She repeated this, rocking back and forth,, impaling herself on one, then two, then three fingers, each time she pulled forward her mouth would sink down on me.  I was thrusting with my hips, I felt my cockhead bumping the back of her throat with each thrust.  
 
Seeing her like this, fully exposed to me, fully open to me.  Taking all of me into her mouth.  Occasionally she would hesitate, either forward or back.  Feeling my fingers sink deeper into her, my fingertips twisting inside as we pushed against each other.  Other times, as she lowered, and my hips rose to meet her, I would feel her lips sink down against my balls, feel her throat relaxing, feel her working to overcome the gag reflex. 
 
When I sensed her impending orgasm, I hooked my hands under her thighs and pulled her back, onto my mouth.  She ground into me as she came, I drank down her cum, feeling the warm wetness flowing down over my lips, my face, my neck.  I love the spasms racking her body, I loved the treat as she came, , tasting her, tasting us.
 
I came like that too, as I swallowed her cum, our cum.  Her hand wrapped around me.  I felt it hot and shooting out over my belly, felt her milking the last drops from me as her pulled her sensitive flesh from my mouth.
 
Then she was in my arms again, head on my shoulder, her hand still wrapped around me.  Sliding my now softened cock through the cum on my belly.  I pushed her lower, willing her to clean me up, she did not disappoint.

It was an an amazing thing.  This beautiful woman giving herself to me like this, and then pushing my limits too.  In a real way, it was as if she wanted to be possessed, wanted to be an object, to be owned, by me.

She denied me nothing that night, she submitted enthusiastically to my every desire.  There was no judgment, no reluctance, just a pure willingness to please me.   All the while, the look in her eyes, the smile on her face, it told me this was exactly what she wanted. 

I had her in every  way I could want, and she gave me what I wanted, what I needed, in a way that only she could.  She knew me in ways no one else ever had, or likely ever would.  I owned this woman in those moments, it a very real, very physical way.  I treated her as my possession, making her cry out, in pleasure, in delightful pain, in overwhelming frustration.  She did everything I asked of her, and she was always ready for more. 

It was as if this was a different woman that the one I  knew, that her friends and family knew, the one that was so in control of her life, so strong and sure in everything she did.  It was a gift to me I knew.  In some ways I think it was a gift to her too.

As she fell asleep that night, her head on my shoulder, I lay there thinking, that she could give herself so wholly to me, and that she allowed and encouraged my depravity, my every desire was overwhelming. 

I was in love with this woman.   Not simply because of what she did for me at a time like this, but for her openness, for her willingness to let herself be this way with me, for the honesty, for the sharing it implied.   I think I had known that I loved her for a long time, but in this moment, laying there with her in my arms, I fully admitted it to myself. 

She did not belong to me,  she was married to another, but she gave herself freely, she came to me willingly.  I couldn’t ask her for more.  I wasn’t even sure I could give her more.    I fell asleep with her hair against my cheek, arm around her, her legs intertwined in mine, so close, so warm, as happy as I’d ever been in my life.  

The kisses as we fell asleep that first night were out of this world.  And the feeling of her body against mine.  I could feel the desire deep in my chest, feel the need for this woman.

It was almost 4 months before we got together again.  We stayed in touch, shared our desires, fantasies, memories.
 
On this occasion, I had a conference out of town, and arranged for her to meet me there.  Unfortunately I actually had to work, but it was a trip we both were looking forward to.
 
When we met again, that first night was much like the first time.  Our passion and need overcame everything else, we sated ourselves in each other.  This trip though was almost a full week, so  we had the freedom to take our time.
 
The next night we went out for dinner, and dancing.  It was nice to have a little time, the night before had taken the edge off of both of us.  No hurry.  We made love this time, took the time to explore, and tease.   It was slow and sensuous.  
 
The next morning, I came out of the bathroom after dressing for my conference, to find her on the bed, covers thrown back.  Her hair fanned out on the pillow, eyes closed, as she held a toy deep in pussy.  I stopped in my tracks.  She didn't even acknowledge my presence.   She kept her eyes closed as ran the tip over her clit, sliding the side of it down between her lips.  Her nipples were hard.  

As she pushed it deep and began rocking it back and forth, I unzipped my slacks.  At the sound of my zipper she opened her eyes and watched as I pulled myself out and began stroking.  Slowly at first, standing over her as she lay at the edge of the bed.  
 
Her knees opened even further, her milky thigh so inviting, so sexy.  She knows how I love to see her like this, we had discussed it often, knew I would love to watch her cum like this.  As she cried out, my orgasm followed.  It landed on her thigh, running down towards her pussy.  
 
We caught out breath, I felt a bit self conscious, standing there with my slacks around my ankles.  Perceptions always change a bit after an orgasm, things that seem so reasonable in the buildup suddenly don't seem that way.  
 
Her toy, it was blue, it was a bit larger than me.   As she withdrew it I watched her labia sliding over it,  she slid it up her thigh, through the cum I'd just deposited there.  She rolled it, sliding it around in the wetness, coating it fully.  
 
She put the tip against her clit, rubbing it back and forth.  Then, she held it in her hand, gripping it by the base and turned it around so that it was as if it was her penis, jutting out from between her legs.   Still holding it like this, her fingers were also running over her lips and clit.  
 
It was a rhythmic motion as she rubbed herself, having the added effect of bobbing her toy up and down.  She turned her hips my direction, it was pointing straight towards me.  My mouth went dry.  I looked up at her face - I realized I hadn't even looked up in a bit.  She was smiling at me.
 
"Clean me up baby."
 
Then I was on my knees.  I realized then, even though it was blue, it was very anatomically correct.  The head was mushroomed out, veins ran down the sides.  Her motions gave the impression of it throbbing and bouncing  with bloodflow, and it was covered in  cum.  
 
For her, I'd do anything.   I started with my tongue, licking up the side, then around the tip.  Then I felt her other hand slide up my neck, into my hair, pulling me down.  I licked my lips, and let her guide me down, let it fill my mouth.  

"That's it baby, suck it clean for me."
 
I could taste myself on it, I could taste her.  I wanted this, needed to do this, she wanted this, and I wanted to give it to her.  She was rubbing, herself, I was sliding my mouth up and down, getting the hang of it, the rhythym.  Then she pulled me down, forceful,  I felt it in my throat, forced myself to relax, not to gag.  
 
"Take it all baby, I want to watch you take it all" she said this, and in that moment I wanted nothing more than to do just that, for her.
 
And she came like that.  Holding me there as another smaller orgasm ran through her body.
 
I was already late for the conference I was attending. She lay there, basking in the come-down after her orgasm as I got myself together.  God she was sexy!  I leaned down to kiss her as I left, she ran her tongue into my mouth.
 
"Mmmmm, Yumm."
 
That's how I left her, not at all sure how productive I was going to be that day.

