Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 Title: Lost & Found Ch.  01
Summary: Casey finds her rejected brother, Robbie.
Keywords: fic,inc
   Part 1.  I am clean without transgression, I am innocent -- Job 33:9
   When Robbie was born, his father celebrated for 2 days straight; he had
a son, someone to carry on the family sporting tradition.  Steve Dolan had
been star quarterback his senior year, the most popular boy in the school,
dating the head cheerleader, Angie Rayne.  He'd married the cheerleader,
started his own business, building up a small chain of 8 hardware stores
across the mid-west.  Now he had a son, all his dreams were coming true,
one after the other.
   As Robbie grew, and took notice of the world around him, and began
trying to grasp things, Steve noticed that he was having difficulty judging
distance, identifying simple things like his toys, and as he started
walking this grew more pronounced; he seemed to be having great difficulty
seeing things, always bumping into things.  His eyes were tested and the
news devastated both of them; Robbie had severe Myopia, short-sighted to a
degree requiring immediate corrective surgery and life-long spectacles; he
was never going to play sports, it would be too dangerous for him.
   When Steve and Angie heard the diagnosis, something inside them died;
their son was never going to be a sports star, never going to be Prom King,
never going to be anybody except the kid with the thick glasses, and Steve
remembered the cruel tricks and casual beatings he used to hand out to kids
like that.  Now his son was in for all that, a life of being dismissed as
Four-Eyes, Magoo, Nerd, and Urkel.
   Steve's disappointment in his son was extreme, his reaction to him more
so; he simply decided there was no point in making an effort with him, he
was always going to be a nobody, a joke in school, 'victim' already
tattooed on him in big glowing letters.
   When Robbie was 2, Angie gave birth to a little girl, Casey, and she was
everything, in their eyes, that their son wasn't; perfect in every way,
bright, friendly, healthy, and growing up beautiful, smart, everybody's
darling.  From the moment she was born, all of Steve and Angie's efforts
went into her; she was their princess.  Robbie was sidelined, forgotten, in
the family, but no longer a part of it.  All the love, care and attention
they had was lavished on Casey, and there was none left over for little
Robbie.
   He wasn't neglected, but he was ignored, unloved, abused in all but
deed, and excised from the family by the most subtle knife of all.  There
would be periods, sometimes weeks at a time, when his father never spoke to
him at all; Steve had nothing to say to his failure son, and Angie was so
busy preparing her daughter for the prom-queen, cheerleader, catwalk life
that was in store for her daughter that she overlooked her little boy
entirely.
   For Steve and Angie, Robbie simply stopped existing; it was easier that
way.  They fed him, clothed him, and dismissed him from their lives; he
became invisible and unregarded.
   The bullies at school had discovered early on that he was almost blind
if he lost his glasses; all he saw of the world was moving smears of
colour, so they would slap them off him, and watch him stumble around,
afraid and at their mercy.
   Robbie endured the beatings that got handed him at school, Steve and
Angie not even noticing their boy was hurt, and hurting, unable to see he
was worth their time and attention, standing by uncaring while his life
spiralled downwards.  One time, without his glasses, it took him nearly 4
hours to get home, unable to find his way, trying to make sense of the
blurs and jags of colour he saw, almost petrified with fear, missing cars
by a hairs-breadth.  When he finally made it home, dinner was long over. 
They'd saved none for him; he was only 12 years old, and they hadn't
noticed he was missing.
   Robbie excelled in school; he was an outstanding math and science
student, his grades the best ever achieved at Ellenbrook High, a grade
point average so far ahead of the curve that his school predicted a glowing
future for him; colleges were going to fight over him one day, he was
scholarship material.  Steve and Angie dismissed all that from their minds;
Casey was the important one.
   When time came, he applied for colleges across California and the
South-West, and was accepted at all of them, his GPA and perfect SAT score
going before him; the prize, though was the offer of a full Computer
Sciences scholarship at UC Berkeley.  But he had no way to support himself;
Steve wouldn't hear of him going to college, they needed the money for
Casey, for when she went to college; for him, there was nothing.
   He spent most of his time with his best friend, Joey Anderson, the most
popular boy in the school, cheerleader girlfriend, the whole cliché.  If
not for the fact that Joey genuinely liked him, Robbie would have avoided
him like poison; too many guys like Joey had beaten the crap out of him for
him to trust a jock, but Joey put a stop to that, made it clear that
messing with Robbie was messing with him; after a couple of the worst
offenders got handed their asses by Joey, the beatings stopped.
   Joey had somehow managed to convince Robbie to help him train, and had
slowly encouraged him to lift weights, to join him in his callisthenics and
workouts, and to circuit-train.  At last, Robbie had found an athletic
endeavour he could participate in, one that he actually enjoyed.  As he
grew taller, he bulked-up, helped by the daily exercise and training,
muscle-mass growing and firming as he trained harder and for longer, his
genetics finally kicking in.  At 18 he stood six feet three inches and
weighed 200lbs, with not an ounce of spare fat on him.  He favoured Steve
in heft and looks, but towered over him, brown haired and brown-eyed,
clean-limbed, clear skinned, healthy and fit.  Except for his eyesight.
   However, none of his family noticed the changes in him; they were
watching Casey, and Robbie was just background noise they'd stopped hearing
years ago.
   Joey's mom, Sarah, was more of a mother to Robbie than Angie ever was,
Robbie often staying over for days on end, knowing his family would never
ask themselves where he was, Sarah never complaining, being there when he
needed a mom to tell his troubles to.  When he told her he'd turned down
his college offers for lack of funds and support, she was furious, Steve
Dolan had a string of successful, profitable stores, and he still had
nothing for his boy!  But there was nothing she could do; Robbie wasn't
hers, and she couldn't afford to help him; she could barely afford to
support Joey.  Not that Robbie would have asked.
   The evening it all came to a head was like any other; Robbie and Joey
hanging out, lifting weights out back, watching TV, good-naturedly ragging
each other, just keeping company with each other.  When Robbie eventually
left to go home, Sarah watched him walking away, a lone, upright figure,
and she confided her feelings to Joey.
   "It's a sin to waste your own life, but it's a crime to waste someone
else's.  Steve Dolan discarded that boy for no reason, took away his
college, said he had no money to spare, then buys Casey a new Escalade for
her birthday, and promised her a trip to Europe for the next one.  You know
what they gave Robbie for his birthday this year?  A Disney Tee-shirt that
didn't even fit.  It breaks my heart to see that poor boy treated so
shamefully; what did he ever do to anyone?  They'll pay for this one day."
Joey could only express his wish that they did, letting rip a few choice
words to describe the Dolan family.
   Meanwhile, Robbie arrived home to find his parents waiting for him,
tight-lipped, angry.
   "What's the meaning of this?" demanded Steve, waving an envelope at him,
and his heart sank; the scholarship offer.  "When were you going to tell us
you'd applied to Berkeley?  That you'd been accepted?  Do you know how much
it costs to go there?"
   Robbie was confused.  He wasn't going, he'd already turned it down,
there was no money for him to go to college, any college.  They'd already
made that clear.
   "Dad, I turned it down, I can't support myself, you can't support me,
it's over, so what are you so mad about?"
   Steve read through the letter properly, anger mounting as he began to
understand that the scholarship had been full tuition and a bursary.
   "Why didn't you give this to us, why did your mother have to find it
when she was cleaning your room?"
   Robbie was confused, now he was at the sharp-end again for doing exactly
what they wanted.  "Dad, you told me I couldn't go to college, any college.
Why is there a problem, I've already refused the offer, the scholarship
offer's been rescinded, it's gone to someone else.  End of story.  May I go
now, please, I have an assignment due tomorrow?"
   Steve wasn't ready to let it go.
   "You stupid little shit, you had a scholarship, you could have gone to
Berkeley, but no, you pissed it away -- what the hell were you thinking
of?" The unfairness of it broke over Robbie, and he reared up, all his
bitterness, anger and despair finally boiling over.
   "You took it away from me, you son of a bitch!  I asked you for one
thing, for the first, for the only time in my life, and it was still too
much to ask!  You turned me down flat, you wanted to save the money so
Casey could go to college, remember?  What about me, why was it so hard to
help me just once?  You took my future away from me, a chance to be
somebody, anybody, except your son.  Thanks to you, I'll never even get to
be a has-been, like you, I'll be a never-was, does that feel good, do you
feel proud of me now?"
   Steve snarled and swung his hand at him, for it to smack into Robbie's
palm, locked there immobile as Robbie stood up, Steve suddenly really
seeing him for the first time, and realising Robbie outweighed him, was a
head taller than him, had no reason not to snap his wrist, and plenty of
cause to do just that.  They stood, silently, as Steve, face twisting in
pain, tried to think of a way out of this situation, his hand trapped in
Robbie's closed fist, with Robbie finally angry enough to pay him back for
all the years of contempt and neglect.
   "Robbie, no, let your father go!" shrilled Angie, and Robbie suddenly
realised how harsh and unlovely her voice was, squawking like an angry
turkey.
   "Shut up, bitch, I haven't finished yet!" he gritted, twisting his hand,
watching the pain flash again across Steve's face again.
   ""I'm going upstairs now; I'm getting my stuff, and I'm going home. 
Don't ever speak to me again, I owe you nothing, so don't expect to hear
from me again.  I'm letting go now, if you try to hit me again, I'll break
your arm, Steve."
   "This is your home...." trailed off Angie.
   "I said shut up, bitch, and I don't live here.  Have fun with Casey
until she gives you the finger!"
   Sarah Anderson answered the door to Robbie, took one look at his face,
and hustled him in, sitting him down and handing him a soda.  "Robbie,
what's happened?  Joey's not here, he's taken Karen to the movies, but you
can tell me." She watched him closely as he told her what had happened, and
that he'd walked out, asking if he could stay with them until he figured
out what to do next.
   "Stay as long as you want, honey, you practically live here anyway. 
Give me your stuff, I'll put it through the wash now, be nice and fresh for
the morning.  You are going to school in the morning?"
   Robbie thought about it.  "Don't really see the point in graduating now,
I'm not going anywhere, perhaps I should start looking for a job
somewhere."
   Sarah snorted.  "Around here?  My advice is, stay in school as long as
you can, you never know when you may need it!"
   "Sure thing, Mrs Anderson, thanks for the soda.  If you don't mind, I'll
go out back, lift some weights for a while and wait for Joey."
   While Robbie worked off his anger in the back yard, Sarah thought about
what he'd told her.  It was beyond her how a family could so despise their
child that destroying his future was of no consequence to them, that they
could be so indifferent to their child, could leave him out in the cold for
years on end, grind away at him, and then be so shocked when he finally
reared-up and struck back.  At least they hadn't destroyed his spirit, she
thought grimly, he still had enough grit to back Steve down, and shut
Angie's whiny mouth.
   A knock came at the door, and Sarah looked through the window to see
Steve and Angie Dolan standing there.  Good, she thought, I'm just in the
right mood to deal with those two!  She opened the door and stepped out,
closing the door behind her, making it clear they were not invited in.
   Steve started to speak.  "Sarah, could we speak to Robbie..." but Sarah
cut him short.
   "No.  He told me what you did, what you said.  You're a dick, Steven
Dolan, you were a dick in school, and you're still a dick now.  Robbie says
he doesn't want to speak to or hear from you again.  He's over 18, in this
state that makes him an adult, and I intend to respect his wishes.  How
dare you treat your boy like he's nothing, because he's not a shit-head
jock like you!  Right now, everything he owns in the world is sitting on my
table; one bag of old clothes to show for a lifetime with you.  You
couldn't carry away the things you gave Casey in a big truck!  But none of
that matters; all he ever needed was a little love from his mom, a little
time with his dad, but you couldn't even give him that, just that, you
couldn't even see him for the glow from Casey.  You made him not exist in
his own home, the place he's supposed to be loved and safe.  He was fading
away in front of you, and you looked away, or looked right through him; you
dismissed him out of hand, made him be nobody and nothing."
   "God damn you, both of you, you stood by and let him stumble through
life, knowing he's almost completely defenseless.  You never once thought
of giving him a helping hand, or being kind to him, or being there for him,
or just letting him know that you gave a damn for him.  Both of you, you
gave all your love and attention to your baby girl, what about your baby
boy, where was the love for him?  Who the hell looked out for him?  If you
didn't want him, why didn't you just give him up, let someone have him
who'd actually love him?  For Chrissake, he'd have had a better life if
you'd just dumped him along the side of the fucking road!  God help the
pair of you, one day you'll pay for what you did to that boy, I swear!"
Tears of rage were rolling down her cheeks and she angrily rubbed them
away.
   "Sarah, I..." began Angie, Sarah cutting across her.  "Shut up Angie,
Robbie sure got one thing right; you are a miserable, mean bitch!  I'm glad
he finally slapped you down.  One of the few things he's grateful for is
that he never has to hear your damned voice ever again.  Now the two of you
get off my property before I call the police!  Go on, go shove your heads
back up Casey's ass, that's where you've had them stuck for the last 16
years!"
   Steve tried to speak again.  "Sarah, please..."but again Sarah shut him
off.  "If you say another word, Steven Dolan, I swear I will kick your ass
for you, hand you a beating like poor Robbie had to endure all the time,
beatings my son had to put a stop to, because you couldn't be bothered. 
He'd come home all busted up, and you never noticed, you just looked right
through him, none of you bunch even noticed he was hurt.  You are a
miserable excuse for a parent, and that goes for you too, Angie.  Now get
the hell off my property!" Steve and Angie recognised the raw fury in
Sarah's voice and beat a hasty retreat.
   *
   Casey came in from school, and did her usual twirl in front of the hall
mirror, checking herself out, making sure she looked perfect from every
angle, that her tight shirt and short, short plaid skirt revealed just
enough without looking cheap.  She was a pleasant eyeful in anybody's book,
that much was true; long supple legs, taut, trim figure, long Copper-Auburn
hair in a ponytail, and gray-hazel eyes.  Pretty, slim, limber and
athletic; the perfect cheerleader.  Trouble was, she knew it too well.  She
clattered into the lounge, dropping her things on the coffee table and
doing a graceful flop backwards onto the couch.  Then something about her
parents, and the strained silence in the room caught her attention, and she
suddenly sensed the atmosphere, both parents looking hunted, drawn, almost
furtive.
   "Mom, what's going on, what's happened?" she demanded, "Dad, what is
it?"
   "Casey, it's Robbie..." began Angie, trailing off and looking helplessly
at Steve.
   "Robbie left, for good.  We had...words, about college, and now he's
gone, he took his stuff and left," said Steve, scowling at the memory of
the pain Robbie'd caused him without breaking a sweat.
   "Gone!" echoed Casey, "Gone where, why, what are you not telling me?"
she demanded, "Why are you so wound-up over it, it's only Robbie!  Where
did he go?"
   Angie answered "He's staying with the Andersons for now, long term...I
don't know.  But he won't come back here; he's gone."
   Casey stalked out and jumped into her car, her brand new Escalade, and
drove over to the Anderson residence, intending to give Robbie a piece of
her mind.  Sarah Anderson was sitting on the porch trying to calm herself
after the confrontation she'd had with the Dolan's when Casey pulled up ,
got out and walked up to speak to her.
   "Mrs.  Anderson, may I please speak with Robbie, about..."
   Sarah cut her short, a habit she was getting to like with this bunch. 
"No you may not, Robbie has had quite enough of you and that family of
yours, leave him be, he's got a lot to deal with, and your whining voice is
just another thing he wants to forget!"
   Casey gawked at her, and Sarah couldn't help smiling nastily back at
her. "Told you what they did, did they?  How they refused to let him go to
college so you could have a nice new luxury car and a trip to Europe, how
he had to turn-down a full scholarship to Berkeley because your folks
refused to help him in any way, how they want a bubble-head like you to go
to college, not him, the only brain in the whole damn family?  Enjoying
your nice birthday presents, are you?  You'd better, because that was your
brother's future; think about it next time you and the rest of your slutty
friends pile into your nice new car, or when you go slutting around Europe
next year, and wonder how the hell your brother's supposed to make a life
when you've taken his future from him; I hope it gives you a warm glow
inside.  You have to go now, I'm sure there's a boy somewhere you haven't
shown your ass to yet!"
   She drove home in shock, numb with the realisation of the truth she'd
heard in Sarah's voice, her words running around in her mind, thinking
about what she'd said, remembering how they treated him; like he was
invisible.  When was the last time she'd said 'thank you' when he'd done
something for her, or said 'good morning' to him, or even just smiled at
him, included him just once?  She had time for everyone, but never any for
her brother.
   Sarah was right; they'd driven him out.  They never gave him anything,
or bought him anything, or did anything for him, or took him out anywhere;
it was always just Mom, Dad and her.  Robbie had never been on vacation
with them, preferring to stay with Joey; at least, that's what the parents
had always said; but supposing they had told him he couldn't, or worse,
never even bothered to ask him along?
   The birthday present had been a mean, shitty masterpiece, calculated to
hurt, she now realised, Mom and Dad giving him a T-shirt, smirking like
they were sharing the best joke in the world, with her giggling and rubbing
it in because she'd just got a car.  Now she remembered with painful
clarity the hurt, lost look he'd had, and yet he'd still thanked them
politely, humbly even, even though his face told them plainly that he'd
come to the final recognition of just how little he meant to them.  She and
her parents had taken their meanest, lowest shot in a lifetime of petty
meanness, and yet he'd still thanked them.  In that one incident, Robbie
had shown more grace under fire, more character than all the rest of his
family, more courage in the face of adversity than the rest of them
combined were capable of.
   She thought about how thoughtless and malicious they'd all been to him
all his life; Birthday, Casey gets an iPod, Robbie gets a book, Christmas,
Casey gets a laptop, Robbie gets a book, next birthday Casey gets a car,
Robbie gets a T-shirt, her parents no doubt chuckling inside at the
stricken look on his calm face each time he got handed the shit-end of the
stick, nobody ever going out on a limb and actually being nice to him, not
once.
   She remembered one occasion when she'd had to go into his room (room,
hah!  What a joke that was, an awkward little hutch of waste space that
he'd been shoehorned into because there was no need to waste a real bedroom
on him; it was only Robbie...) for some reason or other, and had smirked at
how little there was in there, no trophies or medals, no TV or laptop, no
stereo, nothing; God, he was such a loser!  She'd noted on his little
bookshelf 3 copies of the same book, all new looking, and giggled at the
fact that they'd given him the same cheap book 3 years in a row, because
no-one had ever bothered to ask him if he already had it.  On his dresser,
some battered plastic toy soldiers, and she'd sneered at him for being so
juvenile; now she realised that they were there because they were all he
had.  Now it suddenly didn't seem so funny, mute evidence of just how
little they thought of him.  And what had she just said to her parents? 
'It's only Robbie.....'
   Casey stopped the car in a side street and, for the first time in her
life, cried for her shy, soft-spoken, diffident big brother, for tuning him
out, for hurting him so often, and for so long it had become second nature
to her, to all of them.  She cried for all the hurt and neglect, a lifetime
of love and caring they'd withheld from him, for giving him a lifetime of
not very much at all, realisation of her guilt drilling into her.  When she
got home, she ran into his tiny room and looked around.
   His battered closet stood empty, and she realised it was her old Barbie
'Princess' closet, her discarded child's closet handed to him to save them
from actually having to give him something of his own, yet another reminder
of how little he meant to them.  His few possessions, his books and toy
soldiers were gone; he'd taken them with him, and now there was no evidence
he'd ever been there.  Robbie really was gone for good.  Casey sat on his
bed and cried hot, useless tears, a pointless atonement that brought no
solace, finally understanding what it really meant when you took everything
from someone and left them with nothing.
   When Joey came in, Sarah filled him in on what had happened, and for
once didn't rein him in when he let loose a string of invective, feeling
like doing the same thing herself.  "Joey, Robbie's going to stay with us
for a while, so I want the two of you to clear out the spare bedroom, fix
it up for him, OK?  I'm calling your uncle Frank, I need a favour."
   When they came down from setting up the room, Sarah sat Robbie down. 
"Robbie, I think I know what you can do.  My brother has a good friend who
owns a video game company, software, that kind of thing, in the San
Francisco Bay Area, Silicone Valley.  I've asked him to talk to his friend,
because Joey tells me you know a lot about game software and programming,
it might be the place for you.  Are you OK with that?"
   He stammered out his thanks; this was beyond his wildest dreams, the
most anybody had ever done for him...
   Sarah had her brother call Robbie and talk to him, and he in turn
conferenced-in his friend, Steve Vargas of GameStx.  Steve had a long,
genial but searching conversation with Robbie, then asked him if he'd
excuse him, he would like to talk privately with Frank, That evening, Frank
called Sarah, and told her what Steve Vargas had told him.
   "Sally, I've never seen Steve so excited.  Your young man is a genuine,
bona-fide, dyed-in-the-wool software genius!  Steve's astounded that
someone who's not even graduated from High School could have such an
instinctive grasp of high-level programming like Robbie has.  Right now,
Steve is trying to work an accounting deal to snare Robbie before
Activision, Eidos or Microsoft find out about him and try and lure him in.
I'm negotiating with Steve, because I think Robbie is going to be the next
big thing in the games and gaming software world, and I want him to get the
best deal possible -- the last thing I want is you chasing my scalp!"
   Sarah listened with her mouth hanging open, delighted at the
possibilities opening up for young Robbie at last.
   "I'm holding out for an initial salary for him of $8,000 a month, from
the way Steve was watering at the mouth, I think young Robbie will be worth
that and more, so I'm sticking to my guns while Steve hums and haws, mostly
for form's sake, I promise you; Robbie will be a valuable asset, and I know
he'll go places, fast.  Steve knows this too, so he'll cough-up, I promise
you!  When Robbie gets out here, he'll stay with me and Caitlin until he
can find a place of his own--or not; I trust you and Joey's feelings about
this boy, if you think he's a good kid, so will Caitlin and I."
   The next day Steve Vargas called Robbie and offered him a position as a
developer at their site in Palo Alto, on a salary of $96,000.  In addition,
he would be staying with Frank and his family in Morgan Hill until he could
get his own place.  Steve gave him as much time as he needed to put his
affairs in order, and promised him some juicy projects to sink his teeth
into as soon as he arrived.
   Robbie was a little shell-shocked at how quickly things had moved, and
tried to stammer out his thanks to Sarah and Joey, but Sarah pooh-poohed
his thanks, saying that was what family did for each other, and she was
proud of both her boys.  Joey punched him on the shoulder and threw him a
coke to drink a toast, and that was all that needed saying
   Robbie had a couple of weeks before he went, and he spent them with
Sarah and Joey, Sarah buying him clothes and stuff he'd need, just hanging
out, being part of a proper family for a while.  The last thing Sarah did
for him was something he never found out about.
   Casey answered the knock at the door, and opened it to find Sarah
standing there.  She called her parents and asked Sarah to come in; Sarah,
somewhat icily, politely declined.
   "Steve, Angie, Your son needed $500 for air fare, I gave it to him, I
would like it refunded please.  He asked me not to divulge his whereabouts,
and I promised not to; I take my promises seriously; in fact, I'm not too
certain where he went myself.  I would however just like to add a
postscript of my own; Robbie is a quiet, sweet, serious, considerate,
phenomenally talented young man with a genius-level IQ, which you'd know if
you had ever bothered to attend even one of his guidance counselling
sessions, or even just spoke to him once in a while; instead, you tried to
crush him.  God help you, you nearly succeeded."
   "He's gone a long way away, and he's never coming back; you nearly
destroyed him, and he has no happy memories of here or you, nothing to come
back to.  He give me a message to give to you; 'Stay away from me,' and
that goes for you as well, young lady."
   "You didn't want him to exist, so now you're getting your wish; I hope
you choke on it.  A wise man once said, be careful what you wish for, you
may get it'.  You will all live to regret the day you decided to destroy
that boy, and I fervently hope I'm here to see it.  He's going to make a
big splash one day, and you could so easily have been part of that, but
instead you chose to ignore and neglect him.  You drove him away, so now
you get to live with it.  He's gone, it would be best for all if you just
convinced yourselves he never existed, because really, that's what you
wanted all along, wasn't it?  "
   "All that aside, however, and just to satisfy my own personal curiosity,
I have just one question for you, and I really would like an answer
someday; what did he ever do to you to make you despise him so much?  I'll
leave you to ponder that, see if you can come up with an answer that
doesn't make me sick to my stomach.  In the meantime I'll take a check or
cash.  Just think, $500 to get rid of your son forever, I'd call that a
bargain, wouldn't you?  It would be the first, last, and only thing you
ever did for your little boy, how good does that make you feel?"
   "One last thing; if you do try to find him, for whatever reason, I'll
find out, and then Joey and I will make sure the whole town knows just how
you nearly destroyed that poor child for no other reason than because you
could; when that happens, people will cross the street just to spit on you;
you don't discard your children because they can't play sports, do you hear
me, Steven Dolan?"
   Sarah left with her check, Angie and Casey crying, Steve ashen faced,
the fact that their eldest child, their only son, was gone forever only now
sinking in.
   *
   4 years passed.  Robbie had quickly settled into his job at GameStx,
working his way up from Developer to Team Leader to Project Manager, to
Senior Game Designer at the incredible age of 22, designing and rolling out
some of the most popular and biggest-selling multi-platform shoot 'em ups
and fantasy games.
   He lived near Lake Merced in Daly City, a dormitory community for San
Francisco in San Mateo County.  He'd also to managed to attend college, at
UCSF, juggling work and coursework, gaining a degree in Computer Science
after getting his GED at night school.
   In a gesture typical of him, he'd been sending a large chunk of his
salary back to Sarah every month; she needed help with Joey's college
expenses, and Robbie was doing what any brother, any son, would do; helping
his family where they needed it.  He made only one condition, though; Joey
was not to know; he wanted to do this for his best friend, his brother, but
he didn't want him thinking he was a charity case.
   Joey stayed in close touch with Robbie.  He was a regular visitor to San
Francisco, working for a national insurance company with offices off Market
Street, not far from the transformed Embarcadero, so they got together
every few weeks to eat pizza, drink beer, argue about baseball, and rehash
school days.
   In truth, part of the reason for Joey's frequent visits was at the
urging of Sarah, although Joey also loved visiting his oldest friend. 
Sarah was concerned that Robbie was lonely; he had no girlfriend, no real
social life other than Joey's regular visits, and Sarah was worried that he
had become too introverted, job-oriented, and lonely.
   Still she had to admit, he'd changed a lot, changing more and for the
better each time she saw him; he'd learned how to smile, and no longer
peered at the world through pebble glasses; laser surgery had corrected
most of his vision defects, and now he wore small thin lenses in
fashionable spidery frames.  He was still very fit, the training Joey had
put him through had become ingrained habit, and he looked muscular,
healthy, and confident -- and handsome, Sarah reminded herself.
   So why no girl hanging on his arm; why no adventures among the fairer
sex?  With his looks, his build, and his sweet nature, he should have cut
quite a swathe through the local female population, and yet...nothing. 
Sarah never mentioned these concerns to him, though; she was as proud of
him as though he were her own son, and reckoned that, when he was ready to
begin dating, he'd tell her.  Robbie called her most evenings, if only to
say 'Good night', only now she was no longer 'Mrs.  Anderson'; now he
called her Mom.  He never asked her about his parents or Casey, and she
never offered any information about them; he was well off out of there.
   GameStx had satellite offices in Sacramento, Mountain View and Santa
Clara, so Robbie spent a fair amount of time in one or other of them, as
well as his own comfortable hutch in the main site in Palo Alto.  He had
become the face of the company with the distributors, his in-depth
knowledge of the game source codes and his uncanny ability to innovate and
embrace and build-in advanced applications and future-proofing capabilities
enabling them to confidently pitch their products at new and un-tapped
markets and data environments.
   All meetings with the distributors usually took place in Sacramento, in
a conference suite in one hotel or another, so when these meetings were in
the offing, Robbie would book a room in the same hotel and drive up,
preferring to stay overnight rather than drive back at the end of a long
day, even though it was only a 100 mile drive from Daly City to Sacramento.
This particular occasion was no different.  He drove up early, wanting to
check in and freshen up before the meeting.  After checking in, he had half
an hour to spare, so he decided to have a coffee in the lobby coffee shop,
sitting and idly watching the guests and staff to and fro.
   One girl caught his eye.  She looked familiar, and Robbie was puzzled;
he didn't know anyone in Sacramento except the software team there, all
male, but still she looked hauntingly familiar.  She seemed to be some kind
of hotel Customer Service rep, tall, slim, wearing a smart business suit in
the hotel livery, dazzling bright bronze hair caught in a ponytail with a
black scrunchie, and large hazel eyes.
   She looked up, caught Robbie's gaze and smiled, then froze, her eyes
widening as she dropped her clipboard.  She slowly walked towards him,
still with that deer--in-a-headlight expression, and came up to stand in
front of him, lip trembling.  Her hand came out, as though to touch him and
then dropped to her side, and two big tears rolled down her cheeks.  Robbie
was startled by the strange reaction this girl was having to him, but she
was looking more and more familiar, maybe he'd place her soon, a
colleague's sister, perhaps, or someone he'd once had drinks with, but why
the tears?  She sat down opposite him, and whispered, "Robbie!" confirming
she knew him, but he still none the wiser.  "Robbie, it is you!  Robbie,
it's been so long, where have you been?  Oh God, Robbie!" Suddenly her face
clicked into place.
   Casey.
   His stomach rolled, and he felt hot and suddenly nauseous.  He'd come
half-way across the country to avoid ever meeting or speaking to his family
ever again, and now here she was, the cause of all his problems in the
first place, the one who'd denied him his life, the selfish little daddy's
bitch herself!
   He stared at her, anger flaring in his eyes, then stood up stiffly and
marched to the desk, intending to cancel his booking, settle-up and leave,
find another hotel to stay in, anywhere to avoid Casey, deny her existence
before she ruined his life all over again..
   "Wait, Robbie!" she called, and next thing her hand was on his arm,
tugging him.  Robbie tried to shake her off.
   "Leave me alone, you ruined my life, I don't want to hear, what?  That
you're sorry?  Too fucking late for that, now let go and fuck off!" he
hissed at her, aware she was causing a scene.
   Casey kept hold of his arm, pulling him around to face her, grabbing
hold of both his arms, looking at his face, into his eyes, tears running
down her face.  "Robbie, I am so truly, deeply sorry!  Dear God, I've been
looking for you for four years now, just so I could say that!  If you want
to tell me to fuck off, please, go ahead.  I deserve it, but it doesn't
change the fact that I'm sorry.  Please Robbie, please, you're my big
brother, and I treated you like shit, and I am so, very, very sorry."
   Robby was silent, staring at her, listening to her voice, the longest
conversation she'd ever had with him, said slowly "The whole family left me
out my entire life, there was no room in your family for me, why would I
care anything about you and your damned family?  You did that to me and
laughed; you stood by and laughed while they did that to me.  I have no
part in your family.  Now, let me go.  Why don't you just fuck off?" Casey
flinched.  "Didn't like that, did you?  Imagine having every day like that,
18 years of 'fuck off', and then you say sorry.  Not good enough!  I told
you to fuck off, why are you still here?"
   Casey recoiled like she'd been slapped.  "Robbie, please, don't leave me
again!" she whispered hoarsely.  "I never knew how much you meant to me
until you were gone.  I haven't had a moment's peace or proper night's
sleep since you left, I just spent my nights wondering where you were and
worrying about you, and being frightened, really, honest to God frightened,
that someone even worse than us was hurting you even more, all over again!
Please, I felt like a part of my soul had been sliced open because you were
gone, the way I should have always felt about you.  I was a failure as a
sister.  I failed you, and I forced you out.  I know now what I did, and
I've cried for you more nights than I can count, but I always hoped I'd
find you one day and say 'I'm sorry, I need my brother, I want him back'.
Please, give me a chance to make this right between us.  Don't walk away
from me again, Robbie, please!"
   She was crying openly now, other guests in the lobby staring at the big
man making the girl cry; someone was bound to step in at some point soon.
   Robbie sat down, handed her his handkerchief, muttering "OK, you've said
your piece, now will you please go?  I have a meeting in a few minutes, and
I don't have time for your whining; you say you've had no peace, good, I
think it's right you suffer; you took everything from me, and you gave me
nothing.  You left me with nothing, so I don't have anything to give you;
you want absolution?  Find a priest, I'm all out.  All I want is to never
see or hear from you and your parents ever again.  I got tired of being
nobody in your lives, now I have a life of my own, one that none of you can
take from me, and I like it that way.  No going back, Casey, and no room
for you.  Why can't you understand that I loathe and despise you?  Go cry
your crocodile tears someplace else, I'm busy!""
   Just then a messenger arrived.  "Mr.  Anderson, your party has arrived,
your meeting is in the Green Suite, please follow the signs to your left."
   "Anderson?" whispered Casey.
   "Of course I changed my name, Casey; did you really think I could stand
to spend the rest of my life being one of you?" he murmured, furious at
Casey for disturbing him so, for stirring up the old resentments, for being
here when his life worked so well without her or any of the others.
   The encounter had unsettled him, bringing all the old hurt and angers
back to the surface, colouring his interaction with the distributors,
paradoxically making them more eager than ever to invest in new product. 
Robbie was normally mild, compliant, amiable at these meetings, virtually
rubber-stamping the distributors' requirements, letting them make
suggestions and demands, confident he and the other programmers could come
up with the right solution or work-around; it was what kept him on his
game, constantly innovating to stay ahead of the pack.
   Now he drove them, brow-beating them into accepting his terms, refusing
to compromise, bending them to his requirements, telling them what they'd
get, not what they wanted to hear, and what it would now cost to get
exactly what they wanted, promising them increased playability, more and
faster levels of game-play, enhanced engines and adaptability, and
future-generation capabilities and options in return.
   The meeting broke up with happy faces all round, and as they filed out
of the conference suite, there was Casey, waiting for him again, tears
glimmering in her eyes.  He sighed; much as he wanted to tell her to fuck
off, forever, her persistence had also gotten to him, so he walked over to
her.
   "OK, you got me, so talk," he said.  "Not here, Robbie, somewhere
private, please!" she begged, so he acquiesced, taking her to his room.
   Once inside, he got two sodas from the mini-bar, handed her one and sat
down on the couch opposite her.  "Talk, Casey, you wanted to talk, say your
piece and leave!"
   She sat with her hands in her lap, nervously twisting her fingers
together, looking down, before beginning to speak, her voice hushed, and
tears not far away.
   "Robbie, what we did was unforgivable, and I can't ask you for
forgiveness, I have no right, not after the way I treated you.  Mom and Dad
taught me to look down on you instead of looking up to you, and I was too
young to understand how I was hurting you, even as I watched myself doing
it; it was just easier to do it, watch Mom and Dad do nothing about it, do
it again, because I could.  I learned to forget I had a big brother, and I
ignored the fact that he needed me.  You were our punching bag, and all we
ever did was dump on you."
   "I can never forgive myself for not being there for you.  I'm sorry,
truly sorry.  I would give my right arm for the chance to turn back the
clock, do it over again, but do it right.  That's not possible, but I
wanted you to know that's how I felt and how I feel now.  I should have
allowed myself to love my big brother, and I'm sorry, truly."
   Robbie was mildly impressed; apparently she'd grown up a little, no
longer the little airhead she was when he'd left.
   "So, when did this realisation suddenly come on you?" he asked, unable
to keep the twist of bitterness out of his voice, her head snapping up,
eyes wide open as the question cracked out at her, eyes dropping once more,
to answer him.
   "Mrs Anderson told me what Mom and Dad had done to you.  And it made me
think of all the times where you weren't included or hadn't been
allowed-in, all the things we did without you, the places we went and the
vacations we had, all of them with a blank space where you should have
been, and I realised I couldn't remember a single time I'd ever seen you
happy, or smile, or be hugged, or...." Casey dissolved into tears, guilt
and sorrow finally catching her again.
   Robbie handed her another handkerchief, and waited for her to compose
herself.  When she'd dried off a little, she continued.  "I tried to find
you, I really did.  I asked everyone who knew you, put ads in local and
national newspapers, searched the internet, nothing.  I even risked asking
Joey.  The first time, he told me to fuck off, just like you did, and I
deserved it.  Eventually I got up the nerve to ask him again and he told me
he hadn't seen or heard from you since you took off, asked me if I was
proud of what I'd done, what we'd all done."
   Robby smiled thinly.  "Good old Joey, he always knew how to keep his
mouth shut!"
   Casey looked puzzled, and then understanding dawned.  "Joey's always
known where you were, hasn't he?" she asked wonderingly, and Robbie nodded.
   "Of course.  He did for me what family does; he had my back.  He was
always there when I needed him.  He comes see me every so often, spends a
week or so, and Sarah too.  They're my family, they always were; they kept
me from going insane around you and your people.  Sarah's the only mother I
ever had, not your mother, not Angie."
   Casey's lip trembled as she realised just how deep was the cut he'd made
to sever his link with her.  "Poor, abandoned Robbie, they gave you what we
should have, they kept you safe when we failed so miserably.  I hope God
will forgive me, I have no right to ask you to, but I just wanted you to
know, I tried for so long to find you, just so I could tell you this.  I'll
go now; your secret's safe with me; Mom will never know where you are, she
doesn't deserve to." She looked at him, tears still glimmering in her eyes.
"We took everything away from you, and gave you nothing in return; I'm so
sorry."
   Robbie had had enough of punishing her; she was obviously in distress,
she seemed genuinely remorseful over what had gone before, and he was
feeling sorry for her now, for her grief and sorrow, and to be completely
honest, ashamed of himself for being so hostile in the face of her obvious
pain.  He stood up, and took her hand, gently urging to stand so he could
help her dry her eyes, his compassionate nature reasserting itself as he
guided her to the sofa.  Sitting her down next to him, Casey buried her
head in his shoulder as she sobbed, her arm around him, crying her guilt,
and loss, and shame.
   Eventually her sobs died away, Robbie patting her back as though she
were three years old, hiccups giving way to murmuring as her grief played
itself out, to look up at him."I'm sorry, I got your jacket all wet" she
smiled, tremulously, Robbie just smiled back, the first real smile she'd
ever seen on him, she realised with a shock, tears starting in her eyes
again.
   Robbie looked at her quizzically, and she smiled tremulously.  "I've
never seen you smile before, it's lovely, you have such a sweet smile." Her
face clouded up.  "That's something else we have to pay for; we stole your
smile.  Oh Robbie, you poor boy!  How you must have hurt!" Casey hugged him
tight, pulling herself against him.
   Robbie held her helplessly as she dry sobbed, the years of guilt flaring
up again.  He was nonplussed.  He'd not dealt with a situation like this
before, so he resorted to once again patting her back, varying it with
smoothing her hair and making soothing noises as she burrowed against him,
hands clutching at him as she shook and sobbed.  Finally, in desperation,
he put both his arms around her and hugged her close, reflecting that this
seemed to be a day for firsts; hugging his sister was a first for him, as
was she hugging him, talking to him, and smiling at him.
   Eventually she let go of him, wiping her eyes, as she straightened
herself up, smiling shyly at him and getting a shy smile in return, then
pulling herself closer to him, leaning on him as she collected her
thoughts.
   "Robbie, Mom won't hear from me where you are, or who you are now.  How
you want to deal with the parents is up to you, not a word from me, I
promise.  I looked back though the family photo albums, looking for a
picture of you; but they all start with me.  You never got to have a
yearbook picture taken, so we don't even have that to remind us of what you
look like; not that I ever needed it, but to see nothing in our family
record only made it worse; we never included you at all, in anything.  I
couldn't believe we have almost no record of you at all, virtually no sign
you'd ever been part of the family, just one anonymous baby picture,
without even Mom and Dad holding you; it could be a picture of anyone, not
even a member of the family..."
   Robbie looked sideways at her.  "Because I wasn't, don't you know that
yet?" immediately regretting the tone and comment as she flinched.
   She continued nervously.  "The word got out about...you know, us, and
Dad's business suffered, some graffiti around town, smashed windows, some
contracts cancelled, so he paid, but only in a very small way.  You
remember Karen, Joey's girlfriend?  She was on the squad with me, and, I
guess Joey told her what had happened; she cornered me in the locker room
and slapped me around; she was really furious.  She passed the word around,
and then the whole school was mad at me, even the other girls in the squad;
if I'd ever looked, I'd have realised just how many people liked you,
looked up to you even.  The whole school knew about the scholarship, the
principal had already made a plaque for you, the first Berkeley Computer
Science scholarship ever awarded to one of his students; he had a ceremony
planned for you, everything; he was furious with me, he wanted to suspend
me.  I was going to leave, change schools, get away somehow, but Mom made
me stay, forced me to stay, really, and made me graduate.  On Graduation
Day, everyone cold-shouldered me, no one clapped, people booed me, and I
deserved it.  I guess that, more than anything, brought home to me what I'd
done, what I allowed to happen."
   Robbie glanced at his wallet on the table, the picture of him with Joey
and Karen at their engagement party last year in San Francisco in the
inside cover, and returned his gaze to Casey.  He thought briefly what
she'd said, about Karen; she'd said nothing to him at the party about
confronting Casey.
   "So, Robbie, what do you do that brings you to Sacramento?" asked Casey
tremulously, visibly trying to lighten the mood.
   He grinned.  "I'm a game designer, I'm here meeting the distributors to
thrash out what the requirements will be for the next generation of games;
you know, nerd-stuff!"
   Casey smiled back.  "Sounds complicated, Sarah told us you were very
smart, she obviously wasn't wrong!"
   He was pleased Casey thought he was bright, and it unsettled him; why
should he care what she thought?  But he did.  Casey, on the other hand was
remembering the feel of him when she hugged him; as far as she could tell,
he was all muscle, his chest felt like teak, solid dense muscle mass, his
arms like steel cables in their firmness and rigidity.  She'd never looked
at him properly before, so she'd never realised he was so tall, or so
toned.
   He'd taken his jacket off, and she could see he must have at least a 42"
chest, tapering down to probably a 30" waist, wide shoulders, and long legs
with tight muscular buttocks.  She realised with a start she was checking
out her brother, and had to admit to herself, with his expression of mild
good humour restored, his wavy, bright chestnut hair, his soft brown eyes
and his upright posture, he was a very attractive young man.
   This disturbed her; she was not supposed to think this way about her
brother, especially one she had treated so badly he'd run away and
disappeared.
   "So Casey, what are you doing tonight, boyfriend, fiancé, plans? 
Because if you have none, I'm at a loose end, perhaps we can get dinner,
tell me about your life!" said Robbie, surprising himself, but also wanting
to make it up to her a little after setting-off her grief-stricken outburst
with his own hard-edged hostility.  Casey smiled.  "I'm free now, and no,
no boyfriend.  If I can freshen up, I'll take you around my home town;
perhaps show you places you don't know yet."
   "Wait, you live here now?" asked Robbie, "what about your parents?"
   Casey grinned.  "I did a degree in Hospitality and Hotel Management at
UC Davis, now I'm working in the graduate intern program for this hotel
chain.  I'm done for the week, so I'm free, we can take your car or mine,
there are some good restaurants I know!"
   They went down to the parking garage, where Casey gaped at Robbie's car,
a Storm-Gray Bentley Continental GT, insisting on walking around and
looking at it from all angles.  "Wow!  What a car, Robbie, you must be
doing well!" she gasped, and Robbie grinned shyly.  "I got lucky with a
game last year, the royalty payments bought it.  Actually, it was Joey's
idea, that way he gets to drive it around when he comes to see me!
   They explored the town a little, Casey showing him some of the less well
known parts, before settling on a nice little steak house, enjoying their
first ever meal together as brother and sister.  After the meal, they
talked about their lives.  Casey admitted that, after he'd left, she'd been
almost paralysed with guilt, and it had taken intensive therapy to make her
face that guilt before she could function normally again.  Steve and Angie
had become almost recluses, aware of what they'd done but unwilling to
accept their guilt, still completely emotionally constipated when it came
to him, instead shutting themselves away in their business.
   They moved on to lighter topics; his studies, her choice of a career in
Hospitality, her ambitions to move into Corporate Leisure Management one
day.
   At last they broke it up, Casey had something she needed to do at home
in the morning, and Robbie was supposed to be heading home himself for a
long weekend, so he took her back to the hotel to get her car, and invited
her back to his room for a nightcap.
   By now, they were at ease in each other's company, friends at last, and,
after sitting and chatting for a while, Casey made to leave, so Robbie
stood, Casey hugging him, pulling his head down for a peck on the cheek. 
She maintained the hug, thinking to herself, "It could have been like this
years ago, all along, why the hell did I have to treat him so badly?" and
pulled him down to kiss his cheek again in apology, but changed her mind on
an impulse, kissing him on the lips instead, startling him into immobility,
and then his arms wrapped around her as he drew her in, his lips parting as
he kissed her back, with her tongue slipping into his mouth to touch his
tongue momentarily.  Her arms tightened around his neck as she clung to
him. They stayed locked together for a few more moments, lips pressed
together as she probed his mouth with her tongue, then drew back to look
into each other's eyes.
   "What the hell was that that?" he murmured, looking at her as he felt
his lips tingling from the pressure of her soft lips, the slightly stunned
expression on her face, and the feel of her pressed against him.  Casey was
the first to move, stroking his face with her fingertips, running her hand
through his hair, tipping his lips with her fingertips, looking at him
closely.  "You know, Robbie, I spent so much time looking at myself, I
never noticed how cute you are!" she smiled.  "Just imagine, I had a hottie
of my very own in my home all the time, and I never noticed him!"
   Robbie flushed, embarrassed at what she said.  Casey looked at him
closely.  "Has no-one ever told you what a cute boy you are, Robbie? 
Someone must have tried to take a bite at some time, surely!"
   He flushed even deeper.  "Truth is, Casey, after all that ....business
at home, I sort of avoided any...contact with other people, other than
work-related, and to be honest, well, you're the first girl who's ever
kissed me...." he trailed off, looking away in embarrassed confusion.
   Casey pulled his face back round so she could look at him properly. 
"Robbie, are you honestly trying to tell me you've never been kissed, that
you're still a virgin?  A gorgeous guy like you?  Oh my God, what a waste!"
   He tried to explain.  "Look, where I work, the type of work we do,
there's not a lot of scope for meeting girls, all the developers and
programmers are guys like me, so we sort of lean into it, worry about
deadlines and delivery milestones, long hours and long weeks.  Romance kind
of gets left at the starting gate...."
   Casey was incredulous.  Her mind seemed to be thinking on two tracks at
once; one track was thinking; back home, a body like his, looks like his,
he would have been mobbed by every unattached girl in sight, and not a few
attached ones as well, and he had no inkling just how gorgeous he really
was; this was just too much!
   But the other track was thinking more sobering thoughts; did we really
push him so far into himself that he's incapable being aroused, of having a
sexual relationship?  Dear God, what have we done to him?
   "Robby," she began, "I think you and I should talk, but not here, over
there" pointing to the bed.  "Come with me!" So saying, she led him to the
bed, pulling off his tie and undoing his top button.  Robbie sat down on
the bed, Casey slipping off her jacket and pulling her blouse out of her
waistband, taking off her cravat, and undoing the top two buttons of her
blouse.  She kicked off her shoes and slid onto the bed, patting it beside
her, beckoning Robbie up to lie down next to her, confusion and trepidation
showing on his face.
   "Relax, Robbie, I'm not going to bite you!" not yet anyway, she thought
to herself.  "Robbie, have you ever wondered about, you know, girls,
relationships and sex, and what to do, and how to get the most out of it?"
   He blushed scarlet.  "Well, I sort of know the basics and I always
thought.....umm, er, no, not really, I don't know about it, no," he
admitted, flushing again.  "Why are you asking me, why do you want to
know?"
   "Robbie, did you never look on the internet at home, anywhere?"
   Robbie mumbled "No, I didn't have a computer at home." No, you didn't,
did you?  I did, but you had nothing you poor, lost, boy, she thought,
guiltily.
   "We can't use the internet at work, for obvious reasons, and I won't
have a PC or laptop at home, not after sitting on one 14 hours a day at
work.  So no, I don't have any reason or inclination to surf the internet,
if that's what you're asking!"
   No curiosity at all!  How deep does this go?  What else have we done to
him?  thought Casey.
   "Relax, Robbie, relax and kiss me, you do it good and I want you to kiss
me again!" smiled Casey, sliding down to pull Robbie toward her, his hand
falling onto her flat stomach.  She pulled his head down to her, her lips
finally meeting his, her hand resting on the back of his head as he kissed
her softly, almost tasting her, his tongue darting in to lick and brush
against her tongue, their breathing rates increasing as they kissed and
tasted each other's lips and tongues.
   Robbie broke, to look at her strangely.  "We shouldn't be doing this;
you're my sister, this is what boyfriends and girlfriends do, not brothers
and sisters.  We have to stop this right now!" Suddenly, all the past
humiliations, all the loss and the life denied, the hurt he'd endured from
this girl flared up inside him.  He pulled away from her, looked at her,
anger flashing in his eyes.
   This was Casey!  Everything she'd done to him, everything she'd taken
from him, now she wanted to make out with him?  Not gonna happen!  One
evening of friendly chat, and she wanted to waltz back into his life? 
Pretend nothing happened?  No!
   Casey looked at him in confusion, seeing his eyes flash and harden,
sensing a shutter slamming down behind his eyes, and now he was getting
back off the bed, looking at her strangely, hostility creeping into his
gaze.
   "This was a bad idea, Casey, I should never have invited you here,
spoken to you, everything.  I don't need you in my life.  You found me,
you've said what you needed to say, I hope that eased your burden, now you
should go, so please leave, I have an early start tomorrow."
   Tears started in her eyes as she realised she'd moved too fast for him,
that he was so deeply hurt, so damaged, that anything more she did tonight
would just push him away all over again, even further this time, and then
he truly would be gone forever.
   "Robbie," she began, her eyes bright with unshed tears, "I don't know
what happened just now, but I promise you, I will try and make up to you
for what you lost, and for what I did.  Please don't lock me out the way I
did with you, you're better than that.  I found you again; maybe we can
find each other this time.  Oh, Robbie, you were my big brother, and I
should have held you close; let me keep hold of you now, I swear I won't
ever let you go again, on my life!"
   Robbie's head was whirling.  He wanted to believe her, she sounded
sincere, but this was Casey!  The one person in the world he knew, with a
rigid and unbending certainty, he couldn't trust, selfish, irresponsible,
cruel, capricious and uncaring as she was.  How did he know this wasn't
just an act, a way of taking something more from him, looking for another
way to deprive him of what he had?
   "How can I trust you, Casey?" he finally managed, "after all that's gone
before, after all you did, and knowing how much you cost me, how can I
trust you?  Would you trust someone like you?"
   Casey cringed back from the bitterness in his voice, the anguish for all
his lost days bubbling below the surface, asking her the one question she
dared not answer, because any answer she gave would damn her in his eyes.
   "Robbie," she whispered, "come back, sit down, please, let me show you
how much I care, how much I've missed you, how much I want to be in your
life again, please!"
   He sat down, suddenly weary with the whole thing, wishing it were all
over, that he'd never caught her eye in the lobby, that he'd never come to
Sacramento this day of all days.  Tears started in his eyes as the memories
of how little his family had thought of him, how little they'd done for him
or given him spun and echoed through him, ghosts he thought he'd laid to
rest long ago, and his tears spilled over, running freely.  For the first
time in his life, he cried, for his loss, for the family life so casually
denied him, for the careless abandonment he'd endured, for the cruel
rejection that he'd done nothing to deserve, while Casey held him close,
all his grief and pent-up loss and anguish finally bursting out, a silent
flood of tears as the past reclaimed him.
   Casey held on to him, smoothing his hair as he cried, frightened by the
depth of his grief.  All her life she'd ignored him, and now she was
remembering how, even as a little boy, when he was denied or ignored, he
had never cried, just turned his face away and waited for attention that
never came.  Sarah had said they would pay, now Casey understood fully what
she meant, her heart fragmenting with the knowledge of what she'd done to
this poor, sweet, damaged boy, and how he was still paying for it.  She
cursed herself for being so stupid, so eager to pull him back, she should
never have come back with him, he'd let her back in, and now he was paying
all over again.  He'd left because he wanted to be gone, why couldn't she
have let him stay gone, do that one thing for him?
   She pulled him closer to her, cradling his head, tears on her cheeks as
she watched her big, sweet, innocent brother collapse in on himself, all
his defences crumbling as the long-suppressed past finally tore him apart.
   Casey pulled herself further back along the bed, sliding her legs over
and behind Robbie, sitting upright to gently pull and urge him to lie
against her, still cradling his head as he leaned against her shoulder,
stroking his face, whispering to him, hot tears of shame and guilt rolling
silently down her face.
   At last the shaking stopped, but his arm remained around her waist,
clinging to her, Casey still whispering and murmuring into his hair as she
rested her head against his, soothing him and letting him know she was
there.
   And now he slept, absolutely still, immobile, barely a breath sound to
indicate he was still alive.  Casey cradled his head in her lap, tears
coursing down her cheeks as she wept silently and hopelessly, wracked with
guilt for all the days she'd taken from him, the life he should have lived,
the person he should have been, for the outcast they'd allowed him to
become for want of a kind word or gesture.  As she wept, she cast about in
her mind for something, anything she'd done for him, in all his life, and
found nothing.
   Sarah had been right -- payment had come due, and it was a harsh and
bitter tariff.  She'd tried to save him to save herself, and this was the
result.  Why hadn't she just done the right thing and let him be alone and
away from them, the one gift she could have given him that would have meant
something?  He'd made a new life far from the pathetic travesty of his old
one, and now here she was, destroying that as well.
   Casey looked down at his sleeping face, young and untroubled in repose,
the face of the quiet little boy who had learned far too young that 'no'
was the only word his family had for him, and cursed herself for leaving
him out of her life, their lives, stroking his young face and crying anew
for the simple warmth and love he'd been denied for no other reason than
because he wasn't good enough to be one of them.
   Robbie woke with a start in the early morning sunlight, confused and
disoriented, his head in someone's lap.  He was still dressed, and someone
was holding him.
   "Good morning!" said a soft voice, and he looked up, memory flooding
back as he recognised Casey.  She smiled at him, stroking his hair, still a
new sensation for him, and very pleasurable, comforting and affectionate.
   "You fell asleep.  I didn't want to wake you, so I stayed here with you;
it was very nice, actually; you obviously needed the rest, and I don't
often get to hold such a handsome boy all night!"
   Her expression and light tone conveyed nothing of the worry she'd felt
all night as he lay motionless, afraid she'd locked him into some kind of
traumatic, catatonic shell, breathing a sigh of relief when he'd finally
wakened, confused but alert.  With his awakening had come a rush of relief,
and something else, a profound feeling of love and protectiveness for her
brother, all the loss and anguish coalescing into a steely determination to
keep him close and keep him safe, to keep him near her always and never let
him go again.
   Robbie stared at her in confusion tinged with wonder.  It was Casey,
someone he should be avoiding at all costs, that he'd run away from, yet
all he could think of was how warm she was, how sweet her smile was, how
good she felt as she held him close, and how pretty she was.  His head was
clear, and when he thought of her and what she'd done, there were only
memories, lucid but remote, no anger, no hatred, just images and incidents,
like scenes from a movie, remembered in detail, but holding no emotional
impact.
   "I'm, I'm sorry, you must have been...uncomfortable, I didn't mean
to....!" he began, but Casey just smiled at him, touching her finger to his
lips.  "It's OK Robbie, I enjoyed watching you sleep, you looked so
restful, it was a pleasure watching over you, really." she smiled.
   Robbie was enjoying her fingers stroking her hair, it really was restful
and comforting, and slid his head further into her lap, luxuriating in the
sensation of soft fingers twining and stroking his hair, gentle and
compassionate.  "You must be so tired," he offered, "You sat there all
night, like that.  What happened?" he asked, memory vague as to how he'd
got here.
   Casey stroked his face as she gathered her thoughts.  "You were in a
pretty bad way, Robbie.  I thought at first you were having a breakdown,
not that I'd blame you, not after all we put you through, and I knew that
you needed me, and it seemed only right, so I held you while you cried.  I
think it was good for you; you had a peaceful night.  I know, because I
watched you to make sure nothing happened to you, but you slept like a
baby."
   Robbie stared at her, wondering at the change in her, the old Casey no
longer evident.  He moved his head from her lap to lie stretched on the
bed, head on the pillow, and took her hand, shyly kissed her palm, her
fingertips, saying "Thank you for staying, Casey, I guess I did need you
after all.  Can I hug you?  Can I hug my little sister to say I'm sorry for
being such an asshole?"
   Casey smiled, and slid down the bed to lie next to him, stretching out.
"Ooh, this feels nice, so nice!" she smiled.  Robbie, feeling guilty for
depriving her of a night's sleep, pulled her in for a chaste, brotherly
hug, Casey wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him in tighter,
lips brushing his cheek.
   "There's nothing to be sorry for, Robbie, and I meant what I said," she
said, "I won't let you go again!"
   He hugged her as closely as he dared, remembering how slight she was,
snugging her up close against him, feeling happy for the first time in a
long, long time, and still slightly amazed that he was hugging Casey, of
all people!  She gently ruffled the back of his head, and he let her go,
pulling back so he could look at her, smiling, genuinely happy to see her
there smiling back at him.  He lightly touched her face, her nose, lips,
forehead, between her eyes, her chin, features he only vaguely remembered
in isolation, and kissed her forehead, brotherly and proper.
   Casey watched him connect with her his way, feeling a deep surge
of...something, more than just familial kinship and love, as he explored
her features, really looking at her for the first time in his life.
   "You know," he began, "I never really got a good look at you, isn't that
weird?  I mean, I know what you look like, but if I were asked to describe
you, I'd be stumped, I never really saw you.  Guess I learned really early
not to look at you too closely.  Is that weird, or what?" he grinned. 
"Yesterday morning, in the lobby, I saw you, looked closely at you, but I
still couldn't recognise you, and you're my sister, how fucked-up is that!"
He laughed, a gentle, healthy laugh, no tinge of bitterness or anger.
   Casey shook her head.  "Not as much as all that, Robbie.  When I first
saw you come into the lobby and sit down, you walked right past me, I
looked right at you, and nothing, at least not on the surface.  Something
inside rang a bell, though, and when I looked at you again, when you caught
my eye, that's when all the bells rang at once.  It just goes to show, it's
possible to look at someone all your life, and still never actually see
them."
   She burrowed down, snuggling into his chest, and gently stroked his
face. "I'll tell you now, though, I'll never stop seeing you again, Robbie,
that's a promise!"
   So saying, she gently pulled his chin down, and kissed him on the cheek,
and Robbie turned her face to him, to kiss her on the lips, gently probing
with his tongue.  Casey's lips parted to touch his tongue tip with hers,
their tongues sliding past each others' lips, exploring and tasting each
other, attraction flaring between them.
   Robbie broke for a second to look at her, smiling.  "I remember this,
last night.  I got a bit difficult then; I promise I won't do that again,
OK?  I want to do this with you; it feels right, now, and it feels good. 
Do you want to do this with me?"
   For answer, Casey pulled him close, kissing him long and deeply, her
arms holding him close as she lovingly kissed this beautiful, sweet boy, a
clean excitement building in her, not understanding what it was she was
feeling for him, but untroubled by their sibling-hood, only concerned that
this naive boy-man possess her as she now wanted to possess him.  His
simple humanity, his lack of guile and pretence, his obvious need for her
and the love she could give him drew her in powerfully, filled her with a
profound need to reciprocate his feelings, to keep him as the boy he was,
to protect and keep that innocent inner-self of his intact.
   Casey was at a loss to explain to herself how and why she felt like
this, because she'd never experienced anything like this flood of feelings
and emotions for any man, let alone her brother, but anyone with a less
cluttered history could have put her straight in an instant.  Casey was
falling in love.
   They kissed for a long, satisfying while, both of them enjoying the
sensations of each others' lips and tongues, before Casey moved away from
him to stand and quickly wriggle out of her skirt and lie back down,
smiling at him, gently stroking his face.  "Robbie, I want to feel and hold
you properly!" she whispered.  He looked at her blankly, confusion in his
eyes, and she urged him to stand, and began tugging open his belt.
   His eyes widened and then he grinned uncertainly, unclipping his
cuff-links and unbuttoning his shirt, pulling it off and dropping it to a
chair, undoing his belt and taking off his pants to drape them over the
chair, levering off his shoes and pulling off his socks to finally stand in
his shorts in front of her.  Casey gave a long slow intake of breath.  His
well-developed body was ripped and toned, rippling and corded with muscle,
every one sharply defined, skin clear and healthy-looking, clear evidence
that he took his exercise regime seriously.  "You're beautiful, Robbie" she
smiled, "please, come here, I need you to hold me, I want to hold you!"
   He slid onto the bed, Casey pulling his head close so she could kiss him
again, taking his hand and resting it on her flank, letting him get used to
the feeling of feminine skin, the sensation of holding someone close. 
Robbie sighed, closing his eyes to let his tactile senses savour the feel
of her warm, smooth, silky skin.  She pulled in closer, softly kissing him,
feeling his hand move up and down her thigh to knead and stroke the taut
flesh, then moving to her smooth, firm butt-cheek, sliding down and around
to cup it under the tight cotton panties.
   Casey murmured as she kissed him, encouraging sounds as he explored,
touching someone else intimately for the first time in his life.  Her hand
slid down to his waist, further down to brush against his groin, to feel
the hardness growing there.  Her eyes widened in appreciation, and she
began gently rubbing and squeezing him as he kissed her harder, enjoying
the feel of her hands on his manhood, the first time he'd been touched in
this way.  He was sweating now, a new, tight sensation growing in his groin
at her touch, his scrotum suddenly feeling tight against him, and a
strange, pleasant feeling of expectancy, something imminent, in his groin
and behind his scrotum.
   Casey sat up on the bed, slowly unbuttoning her blouse, showing her lacy
white bra underneath, and slid it off to toss it off the bed, then slid her
hair scrunchie off, shaking out her hair to fall around her shoulders. 
Next she slid along the bed, stretching out, resting her head on one hand,
arm bent at the elbow, her legs crossed at the ankle.  Robbie stared and
swallowed, smiling, and Casey watched the front of his shorts as the bulge
there became much more noticeable, beginning to tent the front of his
shorts.
   She began once more gently rubbing the front of his shorts, kissing him
as the bulge continued to grow.  "Robbie, please, pull your shorts down"
she whispered, Robbie doing so immediately, looking at her
uncomprehendingly, but trustingly.  His cock immediately slapped against
his belly, 7 inches or so, swollen, thick, solid and heavy.  Casey looked
at it with a happy glint in her eye.  "It's beautiful, Robbie, really, very
sexy!" she said, as she started gently squeezing his shaft, pumping it with
her hand as she kissed him, making the tight sensation deep inside him
intensify.  Casey clamped her lips over his, kissing him deeply as she
pumped him, her other hand busily rubbing and caressing her own sex,
frigging herself as she pumped him, while for Robbie that sensation of
something imminent became intense.
   Suddenly the pleasure was more intense than anything he'd ever felt
before, heat somewhere behind the root of his penis and a tingling, almost
a buzzing in the tops and backs of his thighs.  His scrotum tightened as
his ears simultaneously rang and popped, and a great spurt of semen shot
out of him, splashing over his belly and Casey's hand, spattering his
midsection almost to his chest, spurt after spurt pumping out as he cried
out loud in the extremity of his pleasure, this new sensation almost
blacking him out, his eyesight dimming and blurring as his eyes rolled back
in his head, his abs tightening as his body arched.  She pumped his cock
continuously as he spurted, kissing him and stroking his face, urging him
on, until he stopped ejaculating, his twitching penis beginning to subside.
   He lay winded, chest heaving, beyond speech, as Casey fished a handful
of tissues out of the night-stand and carefully wiped his sperm off him,
her hand, and his cock.  She was tempted to lick him dry, but held back; he
was still a virgin, with no idea about oral sex, better to take it one step
at a time, she didn't want to scare him all over again.
   "Casey...  that was...that was amazing!  What happened there, it felt
so...wonderful, painful, but so good, I thought my heart was going to
burst!" he finally gasped, and Casey realised that this was the first time
he'd ever orgasmed, that he'd never masturbated because he didn't know he
could, or how; his lonely isolated life as he grew-up had left huge, tragic
gaps in his experience of the world and how it worked, and had left him
almost a total innocent, ignorant of the most basic human drives and urges,
and how to relieve them.
   Blinking back tears for this deprived, deserted boy, older than her, but
so much younger in so many important ways, she smiled and whispered in his
ear "It's called an orgasm, and it gets better, Robbie, lots better, would
you like to see how?" He nodded eagerly, so Casey now pulled him round to
face her.  "Now, Robbie, kiss me, and hold me, would you do that for me?"
He nodded, pulling her close to share a long slow kiss, his hands sliding
down her body to cup and squeeze her firm cheeks, the act coming to him
naturally, feeling somehow right.  "This feels nice, Casey, do you mind?"
he asked, and for answer she kissed him even harder.
   Now he slid his hands into her panties, squeezing and kneading the warm
taut flesh of her buttocks, edging her panties down, more out of instinct
than any other desire just yet.
   "Take them off me, Robbie!" she whispered into his lips, before resuming
kissing him, and he did so, pushing them down and pulling them off, one leg
at a time, to feel her pubic hair rub softly against his penis, the
sensation making it jump and that feeling of tightness again as it began to
grow hard again, firming up and standing out again as they kissed.
   "Take my bra off, please" she whispered, "it unhooks at the back!" she
smiled, seeing his momentary confusion.  He obliged by reaching up from her
taut buttocks and unclipping it, Casey quickly shrugging out of it. 
Immediately, Robbie felt her stiff nipples rubbing against his chest, and
broke their kiss to look down at her bare breasts, the nipples poking into
him as she dragged them back and forth across his chest.
   He'd seen pictures of bare breasts before, but Casey's were much smaller
than the huge balloon things the women in the pictures had, much more
elegant, sexy and feminine, not blowsy or pendulous, and he felt a rush of
excitement at seeing them, long-dormant instincts taking over to make him
dip down and lick and nibble lightly at the pink points rubbing so sweetly
across his chest.
   Casey started, and giggled.  "That's right Robbie; yes, do that, that's
so nice, gently, ohhh...yesss!"
   Pleased that he was doing something that she liked, he carried on,
varying the pressure between licking, sucking and nibbling, Casey
encouraging him, telling him to slow down or change pace, teaching him how
to please her.  At last, she rolled away from him, lying on her back,
Robbie seeing that her pubic hair was trimmed and neat, a small
heart-shaped patch of short light brown hair tufted at the very tip of her
slit.  Her labia were clearly visible, hairless folds of succulent flesh
puffed-out and blushing pink as they began to engorge, little highlights of
moisture glinting in the summer morning sunshine.  He'd never seen pictures
of women's' genitalia before, so he was fascinated, but could also feel his
penis hardening even further, instincts long-suppressed or never expressed
coming to the fore.
   Casey pulled him to her, urging him to climb over her, parting her legs
so he was taking his weight on his knees and elbows between her thighs
while she kissed him, hands alternating between holding and caressing his
face and hair, and fondling and squeezing his scrotum and penis.  Now she
gently pulled his penis down, whispering instructions to him, Robbie
shuffling forward, Casey guiding and directing him until he slipped into
the entrance to her pussy, delighting in the wet warmth that enveloped the
head as he slipped in.
   She directed his penetration, easing him when he pushed too hard,
encouraging him when he would stop because she was gasping, assuring him
that she was enjoying every second.  At last he was in, and now she
directed him to withdraw and push in again, buried instinct again taking
over as he pumped slowly, pacing himself.  Casey held him and moved against
him as she brought herself on, rubbing and grinding against him.  As his
excitement rose, Robbie speeded up until he was pumping as fast as he
could, with Casey groaning and sighing as she built towards her climax,
Robbie approaching that peak with her, pacing her as he paced himself.
   They came together, Casey shuddering and gasping as Robbie once more
climaxed, his eyesight whiting-out, that place inside and behind his
scrotum clenching and spasming, shooting jets of sperm into her hot tight
pussy.  He groaned with the force of his ejaculation, pleasure almost too
much to bear blasting through him as he rammed and hammered his cock into
her, pumping long ropes of sperm deep into her womb, until the last drop of
semen had been expelled.
   At last, shaking with reaction, he backed himself out of her, to fall
over next to her on the bed, smiling back when she smiled at him."Thank you
Robbie," she smiled, "that was amazing!  You're now officially no longer a
virgin!" He grinned to hear the humor in her voice.  He waited until his
heart stopped hammering so fast, breath finally returning at last, and
rolled over to face her, resting on one elbow, curious about something.
   "Casey, tell me something.  Did you have an ...or...orgasm, sort of like
mine I mean, there at the end?" She pulled herself close to him, kissed him
softly, saying "You gave me a great orgasm, Robbie, one of the best ever,
thank you for being so considerate.  Always remember, when you do what we
did, with me or any other girl, you have to think of her, too, make sure
she gets as much pleasure as you did.  If you orgasm, and leave the girl
without one, she probably won't want to do it with you again, so promise me
you'll always think of her first, OK?  And there are so many other things
you can do, or she can do for you; what we just did was just a part of it,
and a lot of girls like to do the other things as well.  We'll try some of
those another time soon, OK?"
   Robbie nodded, wide-eyed, and kissed her gently.  "Thank you for telling
me, I'll remember, but I only want to do this with you, Casey, I swear."
   Casey felt her heart suddenly sing, a single pure note thrilling to his
words, not understanding why, but looked at him curiously, asked the
question.  "That's very flattering, and very sweet, but why?  Robbie,
you're a very cute guy, and there's a whole world of girls out there; you
should have some adventures; just remember what I told you.  But I repeat,
why only me?"
   He replied in a low voice.  "Because I only want you.  You looked for me
when I was gone, you never gave up, and you were sorry and tried to make it
right.  I was rude, disgusting and hateful to you, which was very wrong of
me, Mom-Sarah taught me better than that, she taught me that two wrongs
don't make a right, now I finally understand that.  What you did was wrong,
yes, but you didn't know it; I knew I was wrong to say those things to you,
and yet I still said them, just to make you hurt, and it didn't make any
difference inside, it didn't make what happened go away, or make me feel
any better about it all.  It was mean and small, and cruel, and I'm sorry.
When I saw how I hurt you, it made me feel sick inside, not better; I may
be your big brother, but that also means you're my little sister, and I'm
not supposed to make you cry.  Please forgive me, Casey, I won't ever do it
again."
   Casey listened with tears starting in her eyes, her own heart breaking
as he poured his heart out, and she knew it was the truth he was speaking;
he didn't know how to lie, he didn't possess that filter between his true
thoughts and what he thought others wanted to hear him say, so he spoke the
truth; that was all he knew, dismissing 18 years of hurt and neglect in a
couple of sentences.
   She pulled herself into him, holding herself tightly against him, crying
silently, wishing the world had been kinder to him, that she'd been kinder.
Thank God his sweet nature was intact, that the travesty of family life
they'd subjected him to hadn't shredded him and left only the bitterness
behind.  One thought echoed in her head as she cried; Sarah Anderson had
taught him; not his mother, not his family; it took an outsider to bring
him up properly!  How spectacular would this boy have been if only his own
family had cared about him?
   Eventually, her tears calmed, Robbie stroking her hair and murmuring to
her, holding her close and comforting her.  He held her out to look at her,
making her smile at his frank scrutiny.  "So, are we good now?" he asked
her, and she smiled and nodded.
   "Always Robbie, I will never leave you out again, I want you to be my
big sweet boy and I'll be your only girl forever, OK?"
   "It's a deal!" He grinned back, gently kissing her to seal it. 
Somewhere deep inside her, she felt a profound 'click, and she knew then
with perfect clarity that she would always be there for this special,
wonderful boy, that she could never be anything but what he needed her to
be.
   He lay back, smiling at the ceiling, truly happy for probably the first
time in his life.  Eventually he thought to look at his watch; almost time
to check out, just time for a quick shower.  He jumped off the bed, heading
into the bathroom, Casey trailing behind him, wanting a shower too.  They
showered together, Robbie taking the time to fully see and admire her slim,
trim figure, her neat pert breasts and firm rounded posterior, her long,
athletic, dancer's legs and flat stomach, Casey meantime smoothing her
hands over his muscular, sculpted arms and chest, squeezing and admiring
his solid buttocks and running her hands over his wash-board stomach and
columnar thighs.
   While they were drying-off, Robbie asked her what she was doing for the
next couple of days.
   "I have something I need to do at home, but it can wait, if there's
something you need, cutie!" she grinned.
   Robbie blushed.  "I was wondering if you'd like to come down to the Bay
Area for a few days, hang out with me, let me show you my home-town, a
thank you, if you like.  I'm owed some time off, quite a lot of time off,
actually, so I could perhaps spend some of it with you, unless you..."
   Casey debated for a few seconds, then picked up her cell, called the
Management Office, and requested a few sick days.  That done, she dimpled
at him.  "Right, I'm good, let's get out of here!"
   They packed up, checked out, and Robbie drove behind her to her home, so
she could drop off her car and get some clothes, her room-mates goggling at
the car picking her up.  They made the 100 mile journey in just under 2
hours; I-80 was slightly congested, making the going a little slow, but it
was a journey he'd made many times, although never with such a pretty
companion, he mused, watching her luxuriate in the decadently soft
parchment calfskin upholstery.
   Robbie's apartment was a low condo near the lake, off Gellert, with an
underground secured parking garage.  Casey thought it a little sparse, a
main room with just a few pieces of furniture and a gigantic plasma, and a
king-size bed in the main bedroom.  "That's more like it!" she thought
happily to herself.  There was a second, obviously spare bedroom with a
more standard bed in it and some closets.
   After they'd stowed their stuff, she and Robbie caught a bus up to the
BART station to go into San Francisco, window shop, and try out some of the
culinary delights available in Babylon-by-the-Bay.  Robbie's favourite was
a place up near Broadway, with a twin menu; beef or buffalo, and he and
Casey worked their way through a gigantic meatball sandwich, apparently one
of the best in town.
   After a day of sightseeing, riding cable cars up and down California
Street, and watching cars slaloming down Lombard Street, they headed back,
Casey watching Robbie carefully, making sure he was OK.  She was still
worried about any possible emotional fall-out from the previous night, and
was watching for any signs of stress or agitation that might mark another
episode; but he seemed cheerful, happy, relaxed, enjoying her company,
holding her close when she took his hand, kissing her back with warmth and
conviction when she kissed him.
   She was also much amused by the reaction of the sales assistants in the
stores along Market Street; they'd make a beeline for him, drawn by his
superb build, his soft wavy hair and gentle brown eyes, his soft voice and
unassuming good looks, and enjoyed the way, as soon as any of them asked
him a question, or smiled at him, he'd look over to her to get her OK
before answering them back, making sure she knew he was with her, an
endearing trait that she found almost irresistible.
   He wanted to buy her any and everything she looked at, and she had to
tell him that she didn't want things; she just wanted him to be happy with
her.  She understood perfectly, though; he was by nature giving and
generous, and now he had someone in his life to be generous to, but she
wanted him to be careful as well; some girls would see the car and figure
anyone who could afford that would be ideal meal-ticket, and she was
feeling very protective of him just now.  They arrived back at the
apartment ahead of the commuter rush, ordered pizza for dinner and talked
about how things had turned out, and where their lives would go from here.
Casey was just content to be with him right now as they rediscovered each
other, to make him happy, and to let the future manage itself for now.
   As the evening wore on, Robbie relaxed even more, the strain he'd lived
under for so long it had become normal finally easing away completely.  He
wondered at the feeling.  Does everyone feel like this all the time he
wondered, smiling happily at Casey?  How bizarre that the one person who
had caused him so much loss and distress should be the one to give him his
life back!
   Casey noticed his expression, smiling back at him, her even white teeth
flashing in a wide, perfect, genuine smile, and he was surprised and a
little unsettled at the sudden rush of feelings he had for her.  She was
perfect in his opinion, slim, shapely, quietly beautiful without being
intimidating, smart and savvy, tall, clear-skinned and confident, had a
truly stunning smile, was generous and kind, and really seemed to care for
him deeply.  For the first time in his life, he felt wanted and loved, and
wanted and loved someone in return.
   Casey in turn had spent half the day watching over him, and the other
half analysing her feelings.  After the first rush of desire for him, for
his beautiful masculine body and sweet, handsome face, had come the
realisation that he was special, probably one of a kind.  Robbie was a
total innocent, no matter what the world had done to him; nothing his
family had done to him had changed the boy inside, and she couldn't believe
she'd been so thoughtless, so careless of a heart so kind and loving, a
spirit so gentle and untouched by the evil of the world around him; even
his anger, once he'd expressed it, cleansed himself of it, had evaporated
completely, letting his own clear self shine through.
   On the heels of that was the realisation and affirmation that she wanted
him, really wanted him, not just to play with his body, but to keep him
close and love him, protect that core of him that shone through so clearly
now she had learned to see it.  The fact that he was her brother was
immaterial; she'd once pushed her brother away; now she wanted to hold him
close, make him her lover, and keep him forever.
   With the thought came the action, and she moved from her perch on the
couch to his side, his arm draping around her as she snuggled into his
side, reaching up to gently pull him down to her so she could kiss him. 
Robbie grinned.  "What was that for, Case?"
   Casey rested her head in the angle of his neck.  "Just to say 'I love
you', Robbie," she said, and looked into his eyes to see his reaction, hope
flaring.
   Robbie was amazed to see his own feelings echoing back at him, and
smiled that slow, sweet smile of his.  "I love you too, Casey, believe me!"
he whispered, kissing her again, feeling her respond, her kiss longer,
serious and lingering, arousing him as he held her and pulled her onto his
lap.
   "Case, shall we go in the bedroom, it's more comfortable than this
couch?" he whispered, and her answering grin was all the affirmative he
needed.  He stood up, with her still cradled to him, Casey giggling in
delight as he effortlessly carried her across the room and into the
bedroom, to slide her onto the bed, then sit down next to her.
   Casey jumped up, slipping off her shirt and unbuttoning her jeans to
wriggle them down, to stand in her bra and tiny panties.  Robbie had pulled
off his polo shirt, and looked at her frankly from his seated position,
admiring her slim, neat figure, long legs and small waist.  He held out his
arms and she stepped into them, with him resting his head against her, his
arms locked about her waist.
   "I do love you, you know," he began, "I'm not just saying that because I
want to...you know, again, with you.  I realised when I watched you that I
need someone, and of all the people I ever met, all the parties I went to,
all the girls I ever met, or talked to, you're the only one I ever felt
this way about.  Now that I have you, I don't know how I'm ever going to
let you go."
   Casey smiled down at the top of his head, running her fingers gently
though his hair as she listened to the truth from him, knowing that he was
incapable of lying, that he hadn't learned how to.
   "Robbie, darling, I love you too.  I want to be with you, stay with you
and keep you warm and safe, watch out for the wolves and keep them from
your door.  If you'll have me, I'll be yours, I promise."
   Robbie looked into her eyes, seeing tears glimmering there even as she
smiled at him, and pulled her down to kiss her, to wipe away her tears and
hug her as tight as he dared.  While he was hugging her a thought occurred,
and he grinned as he reached up to unhook her bra, Casey shrugging it off
to let her breasts into his view.  He immediately began licking and sucking
her nipples, remembering what she'd shown him, nibbling and biting the way
she liked, drawing little gasps and sighs from her as he worked her up,
Casey squirming against him.  He liked the sensation of her hard rubbery
nipples between his teeth and against his tongue, and he loved the little
jumps and starts and giggles she gave when he rubbed, sucked or flicked
those nipples.
   She pulled away, her face and neck flushed, to pull him to his feet,
unbuttoning his jeans and pushing them down, eyes widening in appreciation
at the tented bulge in the front of his boxers.  Robbie kicked off his
jeans and shoes, pulling Casey into him to kiss her while his hands roamed
over her.  She pushed him back down to sit on the bed, his hands going to
her panty-clad rear, sliding into her panties to squeeze and fondle her
butt-cheeks, revelling in the feel of them, taut, firm and springy.  He
slid her panties down, pulling her closer by those taut globes, returning
his attention to her nipples, licking and nibbling while Casey sighed and
gasped and giggled in appreciation.
   He could feel himself getting bigger, his boxers bulging out even more,
and finally Casey dropped to her knees, tugging at his shorts.  Robbie
lifted his hips so she could slide them down, smiling happily as his 7-inch
penis popped into view, thick and engorged, the head already fully emerged,
his shaft shiny and taut.
   "Robbie," said Casey, "remember when I told you about some of those
other things we could do?" He smiled, nodded.  "Well, here's one of them,
just for you.  I promise you'll enjoy it, I know I will!"
   With that, she leaned up and kissed the side of his shaft, his eyes
widening at the sensation and the sight.  She gently licked the shaft,
making him start, and smiled at his reaction.  Robbie closed his eyes as
she licked further up along him, until she came to the crown, the sensation
as she licked it making him open his eyes to watch.  Casey licked and
teased the head, sliding her tongue-tip gently into the little slit and
hole, sweat breaking out on his face as she slid her lips over the end and
began sucking, the sensation utterly delightful.
   He was in a daze, this new thing was so good it was making his balls
tighten and he could feel himself almost ready to orgasm again.  Casey
pumped his shaft as she sucked, head bobbing and mouth suctioning him, and
when she looked up at him and smiled around his cock, he knew he was going
to let go again.
   "Uhh, Case, please...I'm going to...I'm...!" he stuttered, and she just
looked at him, smiled and nodded.  Robbie leaned back, hands on the bed
behind him, feeling his sperm rising, and bucked his hips as the first bolt
of spunk shot out of him, Casey swallowing as he shot again, and again,
then once more, long spurts of sperm splashing against the back of her
throat, she swallowing and pumping as he filled her mouth.
   At last, his cock stopped shooting, and Casey stopped pumping, instead
caressing and lightly squeezing his scrotum, the sensation calming and
gentle after the climax just past, gently cleaning the tip of his penis
with her tongue.  Robbie slumped back on the bed, chest pumping like a
bellows, heart racing, as she joined him on the bed, sliding next to him to
kiss him and smile.
   "So, I take it you enjoyed that!" she grinned, and he could only grin
back, still unable to speak for lack of breath.
   At last he was calm enough to speak.  "What the hell was that, Case?" he
asked.
   "Robbie darling, that was a 'blow-job', oral sex.  Boys can do it to
girls, too, it 's only polite, really!" she giggled.  "Some men love giving
oral sex to girls, and vice versa, it's a very enjoyable experience for
both!"
   Robbie suddenly looked up, concern in his eyes.  "Case, I want to do the
same thing for you; could you show me how, sort of walk me through it, so I
give you as much pleasure as you just gave me?" Casey looked at him in
wonder, but not really surprised at the request.  He really did want to
pleasure her, his own nature demanding of him that he give as freely as he
received.
   "I'd love that, Robbie, I really would!" she smiled at him, and slid up
the bed to lie down, holding her arms out to him.  Robbie came to her, and
they spent the next few minutes kissing and licking each other's lips,
murmuring and touching, before Robbie began kissing her throat, making
Casey close her eyes in pleasure.  Robbie moved on down, kissing and
sucking her nipples, making them stand up and thrum, excitement coursing
through her as he stimulated her.  He looked up for a second, seeking
guidance on what to do next, and she gently urged his head further down,
kissing her flat stomach, dipping his tongue in her navel and swirling it
around, making her smile at the sensation.
   Still watching her for hints, Robbie moved on down, licking and tasting
her smooth skin, his tongue encountering her trimmed patch of silky-soft
pubic hair, and enjoying the feel of the downy hairs against his tongue. 
As he moved his questing tongue ever further down, he encountered the lips
of her sex, and the scent of her excitement, strange, tangy, fresh and
appetising, and, on impulse, lapped at the lips of her vulva, denuded of
any hairs, feeling the soft folds of flesh pulse and swell beneath his
tongue.  Her scent washed over him, awakening impulses and instincts from
all the way back to the dawn of humanity, urging, driving him on.
   Casey sighed and arched her back as soon as his tongue encountered her
labia, and, startled, Robbie pulled back and looked up quickly, checking to
see what he'd done wrong.
   "No, don't stop, baby, you're doing just fine!" she murmured, gently
caressing his face and opening her legs wider.  Robbie dipped back down,
and continued lapping at her, tasting her, feeling her labia slowly opening
beneath his tongue, and lapping and slowly licking the pink exposed flesh,
drawing more sighs and murmurs from her.  As he lapped, he saw her clitoris
emerging from its little hood, and, on impulse, licked it, pulling it into
his mouth like a little fingertip, feeling it pulse and thrum beneath his
tongue.  Casey groaned and arched her back, murmuring "Yes, yes, like that,
oh yes, Robbie, God, yes!" Encouraged, he licked and flicked it with his
tongue, making her catch her breath and quiver, then sigh with delight.
   Now that he'd found the centre of her arousal, Robbie concentrated on
pleasuring her, enjoying the taste and smell of her, lapping and gently
nibbling her clitoris with his lips, making her call his name as she
shuddered and quivered, spurring him on.  At last, stimulated beyond her
ability to control her arousal any further, Casey groaned as her orgasm
reared up and rolled over her, arching her back as her thighs clamped
around his head, holding his still lapping tongue in place as wave after
wave of pleasure rolled through her, his continued licking and sucking
adding more and more to the pleasure she was already experiencing, until at
last the waves of pleasure died away, and she relaxed, her legs falling
back to the bed, releasing hold of him.
   "Was that how it's done?  Was it good?" was his first anxious query, and
Casey giggled softly.  "Yes darling, that was perfect in every way!" Robbie
grinned back at her, relieved that he'd managed to please her the way she'd
pleased him.  He slid back up the bed to Casey, into her open arms, and
took with gratitude the kiss she offered him, holding him close, aware of
his burgeoning erection.
   "Baby, it looks like you're ready to go again!" she grinned at him, and
he smiled back, moving into position between her legs, letting her guide
him into her, and settling into the old, old rhythm, instinct and arousal
helping him to make love to his woman without instruction this time,
enabling him to concentrate on increasing her arousal and satisfaction.
   If anything, the oral session had made him even more aroused and his
cock felt like an iron bar, something Casey noticed as soon as he entered
her, and her smile of satisfaction was all the encouragement he needed. 
Robbie pumped as Casey rose up to meet him, on an on, both increasing their
speed and effort as their excitement grew, until, unable to contain it any
more, their mutual orgasm flared and billowed through them, Casey groaning
out loud as her vagina clenched and convulsed on his rock-hard cock, Robbie
crying out in release as he pumped a great splash of semen deep into her,
followed by another, and another, her convulsing vagina rippling and
sucking at him, wringing him dry.
   They both fell back, deeply satisfied, consumed by the afterglow,
post-coital somnolence quickly claiming them, and they slept, holding each
other close, no cares left in the world.
   Casey woke to the sound of the bedside phone, momentary disorientation
passing as she picked it up and passed it over to Robbie, sliding back down
into the warmth of his arm, pulling herself close to his chest and
listening to his heartbeat and his voice rumbling in his chest.
   "Sure, bro, love to, of course, see you later.  Want me to pick you up,
or are you grabbing a cab?  OK, see you in a couple; I've got a surprise
for you.  Yeah, you'll find out, I think you'll like it, both of you. 
Later."
   Casey looked at him quizzically.  "That was Joey, he's in on a flyby, he
had a meeting in LA, and he decided to surprise me on his way home. 
Karen's with him, are you OK with that?  Because I could always..." Casey
put a finger over his lips.  "Don't be so silly.  Joey's your brother, and
he needs to know about me -- unless you're ashamed of what we're doing? 
I'm not, but I do understand if you want me to make myself scarce or
something while he's here; I'm not afraid to meet him; I need to apologise
to him as well, you know!"
   Robbie looked stricken.  "Case, I could never be ashamed of you, I love
you!  I know you and Robbie had words, and I know it didn't go well the
last time you spoke, but I need my family to know about you and me,
especially now I know how you feel about me.  Joey and Karen are family,
and so are you, now, so it's time we acted like one!"
   Casey stared at him for a second, then hugged him tight, holding him so
close he could feel her heart beating against him, wondering again at her
stupidity at letting this fabulous man-child go so easily all those years
ago.
   Robbie caressed her, taking away any apprehension she might be feeling,
kissing the top of her head as she hugged him close, aware that her
nearness was making him react.  Casey also noticed, her hand sliding down
to fondle his rapidly erecting cock, holding and squeezing him as he
firmed-up, pumping him as her lips sought his out.
   His erection was a solid bar of flesh in her hands, and his hands moved
over her, caressing, fondling, sliding down her back to her buttocks, his
fingers parting her cheeks and sliding between them, gliding over her tight
little anus and sliding between her lips, making her gasp as he kissed her.
Casey rubbed her pussy against him, holding his cock erect as she slid
herself against it, frigging herself against him.  She draped a leg over
his lap and sat up on him, pulling herself tight against him, kissing him
as she slid her clitoris along the length of his penis, masturbating
against him.
   Robbie slid down to lie on his back, Casey squirming and gyrating on top
of him as she straddled him, finally leaning down to kiss him long and
deep, then slowly pushing herself against his cock, taking him into
herself, impaling herself on his steel-hard cock, her cunt walls stretching
to accommodate him.  When he was in her to the hilt, she began raising and
lowering, riding him as she pumped and ground her clitoris against him on
the down-stroke.  She began gyrating her hips to rub the head of his penis
against the neck of her womb, stimulating her cervix and working herself up
as he began instinctively lifting to meet her, thrusting back into her.
   His hands came around to clasp and hold her firm globular cheeks, the
feel of her taut young muscles flexing and thrusting against him thrilling
and sexy, with the knowledge that this was his woman and she would only
ever do this with him enhancing the sexual charge for him.  She pumped and
shuddered above him, breath coming in hissing gasps, her hands flat on his
solid abdomen as she pounded and ground herself on him, until at last, her
climax broke.
   "Oh, oh, ooooh, ooooh, GOD!  I'm coming, oh God Robbie!  Oooh yesss,
oooh YESSS!" She screamed, shuddering as waves of orgasmic pleasure rolled
and billowed through her, pounding at her senses, her eyesight blurring as
her eyes rolled back in their sockets.  Robbie lost all control as her
vaginal walls clamped down on him, rippling and sucking against his cock as
she tossed like a flag in a gale on top of him, her head thrown back and
nipples erect and throbbing.  His hands clasped tight about her taut
buttocks as he groaned in the extremity of his own orgasm, blasting jet
after jet of hot semen into the heart of her, his head thrown back and eyes
shut tight, his torso stiff and tense while his cock bucked and twisted
like a live thing as it gave up its tribute to her, filling her with his
seed.
   After what seemed like an age, Casey slumped down onto him, her heart
thudding in her chest, her lips seeking his, to kiss and thank him for
being the loving, considerate, gentle man he was, had always been, if she
had just looked, and for loving her enough to forgive her and let her into
his life.
   They lay back, enjoying the afterglow, feeling no need for conversation,
the nearness of each other good enough for both of them just now.  They lay
in that place halfway between sleep and wakefulness, recovering their
strength and resting after their exertions.  Time slipped gently away,
until Robbie stirred back to full alertness.
   He nuzzled Casey, watching her smile in her semi-slumber, unable to
explain fully to himself the depth of his feelings for this girl who'd come
back into his life so suddenly, and opened up a whole new world for him,
but he knew with rock-solid certainty that she was the one, the only one,
and he'd never let her go.  He was just beginning to feel the stirrings of
arousal when the 'phone rang again.  He answered and grinned.
   "Sure thing, Meat-head, see you soon!"
   He hung up and kissed Casey back to wakefulness.  "Showtime, baby,
better get dressed, Joey and Karen are on their way from the airport, so
they'll be here in ten or fifteen minutes .  Remember, I've got your back
here, you just be who you are, they'll listen, I promise.  Are you ready?"
   Casey nodded apprehensively, but spoke resolutely.  "If you and I are
ever going to be together, I have to make it right with your family too. 
This is the only way, so yes; I'm ready to meet them!"
   pics---->> http://bit.ly/1D1q3qp 
  
LostnFoundCh01