Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 Title: Big Girls Don't Cry Ch.  03
Summary: Partings, reunions, revelations, and apologies.
Keywords: inc,fic
   I held Lena close, feeling her warmth against me as I kissed her cheek
lightly, then I took her hand, my sister's hand, and slipped the antique
engagement ring onto her finger, pulling her close again to kiss her cheek
once more and whisper that I loved her, while mum stood by and smiled
sadly. Finally she dabbed at her eyes and passed me a piece of paper with a
'University Hospitals Bristol NHS Trust' heading.  I looked at her
questioningly.
   "What is this mum?" I asked her, and she smiled.
   "It's the number for my old head of department; he's head of the
Cardio-Vascular unit at the Royal Infirmary, and he's looking for a Junior
Surgical Consultant for a Locum to substantive post with the Cardiology
team; I told him about you, and he's waiting for you to call him.  It's
initially for six months, but the post will become substantive if you
decide to remain with the team; I think you should take it; you and Lena
will need this, so do it soon, Darryl, please, for both of you."
   I hugged her tightly, she'd solved my first problem, and now Lena and I
had something to tell everyone.  I nodded to Lena and all eyes switched to
her.
   "Mum, daddy, Darryl and I have been talking, and we've come to a
decision; we want to have a baby, soon, this year.  Please don't object or
start giving me reasons why we can't, this is what we want, we think it's
what this family needs, there are...other reasons why we want a baby this
year, you know as well as I what they are, but this is for us, and for you.
We love each other very much, and this is what we both want."
   Dad smiled, looking slightly bemused, but not surprised, mum smiled
slightly, nodding as though something had become clear.
   "What you kids do is not really my business anymore," said dad, "I'm in
no position to tell you what's right or wrong, but I will say just one
thing again; Darryl, Lena's been in love with you since forever, don't make
her regret giving her heart to you, and I mean that; in a little while
there'll be only the two of you here, you'll have to take care of each
other, and any little ones who come along, so you have to be sure that this
is what you want.  Your Aunt Min's right, this is an all-in deal, so now's
the time to back out if you're going to, not two years down the line, or
five or ten.  I want to leave this world secure in the knowledge that my
kids have done the right thing by each other, and that they're going to
keep on doing it for each other and their family."
   Lena left her seat and came and stood next to me, her fingers gently
stroking the back of my neck, before sitting on my lap, my arm
instinctively going around her waist to hold her to me.  She used to sit
like this before, when we were younger, but now there was a whole new
meaning to why she chose to do that, and mum and dad both got it.
   "Mum, daddy, Darryl and I will be fine; we've both got what we want, you
really don't need to worry about us, or what we're doing, or where we're
going with this; we know what we feel for each other, and what we want out
of life, for both of us, and it starts right here!"
   After that there was a flurry of family hugs and conversation about when
they were leaving, things they should take and leave behind, bright and
positive, but with an undercurrent of bitter sadness.
   I called the number mum gave me and made an appointment to see her old
boss after she and dad had left, and he understood; he was quite despondent
at her leaving, she'd been Head Nurse in the Cardiology Centre before
taking up her post in the Renal Unit, and was one of his most trusted
friends and colleagues in both posts.  He really didn't want to let her go,
but he knew what was happening with dad, and accepted that I had more
pressing things to deal with just now.
   That night, Lena and I went up to bed together, mum and dad making no
comment when we left together, and just a broad wink from Min.  Once we got
to the room, Lena wasted no time in stripping off and climbing into bed
naked.  I held out her sleeping shirt, but she just dimpled and declined
it.
   "What's the point in putting it on Dar, you'll just yank it off me
again! I'll just sleep raw if you don't mind!"
   I didn't mind at all, she was a wonderful sight to behold naked, and I
could feel all kinds of interest stirring, something she noted as I climbed
into bed.
   We held each other close, as much for comfort as for the chance to feel
each other's body pressed together so intimately, and the involuntary
reflex struck; my cock was rock hard and ready for action from being
pressed against Lena's smooth hairless mound, something she noticed
immediately.
   "So Darryl, you feel like a little contact sport, some night games,
yes?" she whispered in my ear, and try as I might to think how
inappropriate this would be, all I really wanted to do was jam my cock into
her as hard and as far as I could.  Taking my silence as agreement, she
wrapped her little hand around my hardness and squeezed gently.  I
reciprocated by sliding my hands down and cupping her sexy cheeks, enjoying
the springy firmness of them in the palms of my hands as I squeezed and
kneaded them.
   "Got any new moves in your playbook, Stud?" she teased, licking my lips
as she kissed me with light, feathery kisses all over my face and neck.
   In reply, I rolled her onto her back and clamped my lips over her
nipples, sucking at the rubbery little stalks in turn and flicking them
with my tongue tip, making her giggle and sigh.  I moved on down, lightly
kissing and licking her tummy, licking and swirling my tongue around in her
gorgeous little navel before kissing down to her beautiful bare little
pussy.  I slid between her thighs and pulled toward me, putting my hands
behind her knees and pushing her legs up to raise her pelvis off the bed.
   "Why Darryl whatever are you doing to me!?" she cooed, and in answer I
dipped my head down to lick in a long slow line from the hood of her
clitoris all the way to her cute, sexy, tempting little pink starfish.
   "Ooohhh!  That feels so good, keep doing that!" she groaned, and I
obliged by pushing her legs even further over, until her knees were almost
touching her shoulders, her pussy pointing straight at the ceiling.
   Now I licked and sucked in earnest, pushing my tongue between the folds
of flesh enfolding her vulva, probing between them, tasting and teasing
her. I came at last to the hard little knob of her clitoris, fully emerged
from its little hood and glowing pale pink, slick, shiny and appealing. 
Lena kept up a constant sighing encouragement, the words "oh yes, like
that, yes, oh yes...!" tripping endlessly from her lips as I licked,
sucked, teased, and tormented her delicious, sopping wet pussy, paying
especially close attention to her clitoris, sucking it gently and rubbing
it lightly with my tongue.
   Lena was threshing about on the bed, mini-orgasms bursting through her
in waves, and when I slid my hand around her hip and rubbed her clitoris as
I pushed my tongue deep into her vagina, she came with a loud groan, her
pussy convulsing around my tongue as she shuddered and trembled with
pleasure.
   I hadn't finished with her yet, though; as she began to come down, I
rubbed her clitoris lightly with my thumb, while I licked and tickled her
anus with my tongue-tip, listening to the murmured "Oh!  Oh!  Oh!" as I
darted my tongue in and out of her.  I kept up the motion of my thumb on
her clitoris, alternating with sliding it into her pussy in time to my
tongue thrusts into her tight, slick little hole.
   Lena began to twitch and push her crotch into my face, humping herself
against me as I probed and jabbed inside her private places, her breathing
beginning to hitch as she approached her orgasm, and as her pussy tightened
about my intruding thumb, I shoved my tongue into her anus as hard as I
could.
   She came with a guttural scream, warm tangy-sweet liquid spraying across
my face and neck as she ejaculated with the force of her orgasm, her anus
contracting and forcing my tongue out as her pussy clamped down tightly
around my thumb.  I kept stroking her clitoris and licking her anus,
keeping her orgasm rolling on.
   At last she was done, her legs dropping back down to the bed and her
breathing harsh as she gulped for air, and I could see a pulse beating in
her neck and the base of her throat.  As I watched, she calmed, her
breathing slowing and her pulse no longer hammering.
   "That was awesome, Dar, where did you learn that?  Oh yes, Gower Street
Nurses Quarters, why do I even bother asking...?" she smiled, and then took
hold of me.
   "You need to do something about this, Lover-Boy; any ideas?" she grinned
wickedly, holding my bone-hard erection and circling her thumb in the clear
lubricant oozing from the tip.
   I shuffled up between her wide-spread thighs, and leaned down, Lena
guiding me until I slid into her, the sudden constriction around my cock
exciting and highly stimulating.  Lena hissed as I slid all the way into
her, until I was buried to the very root in her hot, tight pussy.  I
stopped to let her prepare herself, and she pulled my head down, kissing me
once lightly on the lips.
   "What are you waiting for, Daryl?  Get a move on, make babies in me!"
   I grinned, beginning to move within her, slipping in and out as I pumped
her full of my cock.  Lena held herself tight against me, her hips pumping
against mine, and her pussy squeezing and relaxing as I jammed myself into
her.  She was close to orgasm again, I could see it in her flushed face and
neck, her elevated heart rate and the glazed look developing on her face. I
was near the point of no return when she began muttering in my ear, goading
me on, heating me up even further.
   "That's it, Darryl, shove that cock into me, fill me with baby juice,
you put a ring on my finger, now put a baby in my belly, c'mon stud, fuck
that baby into me, don't you want to see my belly with your baby inside
it?!"
   I lost it, hammering mindlessly into her, my whole world consisting of
the feel of her wrapped around me, humping against me as I pumped into her,
her arms around me as she talked endlessly in my ear, telling me what she
wanted me to do to her, making me hot, making me want to just explode
inside her.
   Lena came in a series of convulsions, a volcanic eruption of pleasure
inside her, her pussy rippling and sucking at my cock.  All I could hear
was her scream as she orgasmed, and that did it for me; I came like a
thunderbolt, pouring pulse after pulse of spunk into her tight pussy,
jamming my cock into her as I filled her up, wanting nothing but to make my
baby inside her right now, this instant; this was going to be the one, I
was sure of it!  We convulsed against each other for long minutes, stream
after stream of sperm pouring out of me and into her, doing what she'd
asked, filling her with my baby juice, mating with her, impregnating my
sister, my aunt, my girl.
   I slumped down next to her, totally spent, Lena in almost the same state
from the endless orgasms she'd been having all night.  I was almost too
tired to think, but I did remember to switch on the alarm clock, and then I
pulled Lena close, and that was it until the ringing of the alarm woke us
the next morning.
   The drive to the airport was as grim and tense as I'd been dreading it
would be; Lena went in the MPV taxi with mum, dad, and their luggage,
squeezing-in a last few minutes with them, and I followed with the aunts as
my passengers.  Min tried talking to me as we drove to Bristol
International, the old Lulsgate Airport, but I had too much on my mind
right then, so after a while she gave up, Doreen just leaning over to brush
my face with her fingertips without saying anything.  Lena had been even
more uncommunicative this morning, the reality of our parents' leaving now
striking home, but I had nothing to say to her; what could I possibly have
said?  Min and Doreen seemed to understand this, and even their small talk
together soon petered-out.
   We sat in the departure lounge, waiting for their flight to Paphos to be
called, me mostly in silence, Lena looking lost and ready to cry.
   I felt like I was about one step behind her; they weren't going on
holiday, they weren't retiring abroad, they were going to Cyprus because my
dad was dying, and his doctor thought he might eke out a few more weeks or
months of life if he left.  I understood that; I'd probably have made the
same recommendation, but that didn't make me feel any better about it.
   Then the moment came I'd been dreading; I looked up at the departures
board and their flight was up, time to go.  Mum saw it as well and pulled
Lena to her in one last, desperate bear-hug.  Lena looked at her in
surprise, then glanced up and saw the board, and a look of utter loss and
desolation settled on her face.  She tried to say something, but all that
came out was a soft mewing sound of anguish and unbearable loss.
   Mum and dad started pushing the trolley with their hand-luggage to the
gate, Lena tagging along with them, and me trailing behind, unable to
believe this moment had actually come, that they were actually leaving us.
The two aunts hung back, crying as they waved goodbye, their own hugs and
farewell kisses done.  Lena started crying, and mum reached up to wipe her
tears, tears streaming down her own face.  When we got to the gate, dad
turned to me and hugged me close, holding the back of my neck as I hugged
him, then he pulled away and grinned his old grin.
   "See you in a month or so, eh?" he smiled, and I grinned back in spite
of myself.
   "You bet, have the beers on ice!" I smiled, suddenly feeling just a
little more upbeat; we'd see them again in a few weeks, this wasn't
goodbye, it was just 'Au Revoir'; it helped if I thought like that; not a
lot, but some.
   "Love you, Son!"" he whispered, and I whispered back "Love you too,
dad!"
   When we'd finally hugged and kissed them goodbye a dozen times, they
walked through the Departure Gate, and it was all I could do to stop myself
barring their way, dragging them back home; I was a doctor, I could look
after my dad, he didn't need to die in a foreign country...thoughts like
these filled my head, but I stood my ground; they needed to do this, it was
for dad, and it was what he wanted, it was what he needed for mum.
   Just as they disappeared through Immigration Control, Lena darted
forward, obviously planning on following them, but I'd been half-expecting
something like this and I caught her before she gone two steps, grabbing
her round the waist and holding her as she struggled.
   "Get...off...they're leaving...No, Darryl, please, ...fucking let go of
me!  No....Mummy...no, don't go...wait for me...Daddy, no, wait for me,
pleeaase...!"
   I held her tightly, holding her against me as she struggled and tried to
squirm out of my grasp.
   "Lena, no, stop it, no, Lena, wait, you can't go in there, you haven't
got a passport, they'll arrest you, stop it!"
   She suddenly went limp against me, moaning softly "...No...No...They're
going...stop them, please, Darryl, please, make them stop...mum...!"
   I held her close to me as she cried against my shoulder, stroking her
hair as she sobbed herself out.  At last she stopped crying, taking the
tissue I offered her.
   "Why did you stop me Dar?  I could have called them back; they don't
have to go...!"
   I gently pulled her round to look at me.
   "Look, baby, you can't go in there, but this is what we'll do; over
there is the Easyjet desk, we'll get you a ticket and you can fly out
tomorrow, with a passport and a proper ticket and everything, OK?  I knew
you couldn't let them go, not like this, so you go out and stay with mum
and dad for as long as you want, I'll be here, waiting for you.  I won't be
lonely, Aunt Doreen lives nearby, maybe I'll ask her to come and stay while
you're away.  I really think you need to do this, so you should.  I'll
hopefully have a new job to be getting to grips with, so I won't have time
to be lonely, but if I need you, I can still call you, and you just come
back home when you're ready."
   Lena looked at me wide-eyed.
   "You'd do that?  Really?" and I nodded.
   "In a heartbeat; I can't bear to see you crying, and I won't have you
being sad when I can do something about it.  We can fix this easily enough;
you were wrong when you said you could let them go, we know that now, so
let's fix this right now.  Come on; let's get your ticket for you!"
   My heart was breaking as I said it; the thought of losing her, maybe for
months on end, was something I didn't even want to think about, but I
couldn't have my girl hurting and sad.  She needed more time with mum and
dad, and I could give it to her, it was the least I could do, and it was
the right thing to do; my own needs would have to take a back-seat; my
sister, my girl, the centre of my world, needed me to do this for her.
   We booked her on a flight bound for Paphos the following morning, and
drove home in silence, both of us too full of our thoughts to talk about
anything, even the aunts sitting silently in the back seat, and spent a
gloomy afternoon packing her bags and a quiet evening talking about nothing
much.  When we went to bed, Lena held me close all night, almost fearful of
letting go of me.  We didn't make love; we had far too much to think about.
   I took her to the airport alone; Doreen and Min had elected to let us
have a little privacy and spend the day together, so it was just the two of
us at the airport, fidgeting as we waited for the inevitable.  When her
flight was called it felt like the end of everything, and once again I had
to restrain myself, this time from holding her back, from preventing her
getting on that flight, but I let her go, and walked her to the gate.  Once
there, she turned and held me close, kissing me long and desperately, then
breaking off to hold my face in her hands.
   "I'll be back soon, baby, I swear; I just want a chance to say goodbye
properly; they did everything in such a rush I just got...swept along, and
I never got to say goodbye properly, or get used to the idea of them
leaving; that's all this is.  I love you Darryl, and I want to spend the
rest of my life with you, but I have to go and say goodbye first, can you
understand that?"
   Of course I understood, I always had; in truth I wanted to do the exact
same thing, but now she had to go, so I kissed her and watched her walk
through Immigration Control and disappear.  Going home was almost
unbearable, the thought of going back to that big echoing house alone was
almost too much to bear, and when I got home, it was as bad as I thought it
would be.  I wandered around, completely lost and alone for the first time
in my life, a solitary ghost haunting this enormous house where so much had
happened, and now it was just me, drifting sadly from room to room, nothing
here now but fading echoes of the lives that had been lived there before
moving on.
   Min came home about seven that evening to find me moping about the
place, already more lonely than I had ever been in my entire life.  I'd
already called mum's old boss and had confirmed an appointment to see him
the following morning, so maybe I'd have a job to fill up my days and
distract me from the aching loneliness now that Lena was gone.
   Min disappeared after a while, and I came upon her crying in the
upstairs sitting room, weeping for her baby brother, my dad; of course,
this really was the end for her, she would never see him again; she was too
old, and her heart was too frail for her to fly, so today had been the
final farewell for her, something I'd forgotten or never considered, I was
so wrapped up in my own loss.  Now it was my turn to hold Min and to
comfort her.  Eventually she stopped crying, but I could see the loss in
her eyes, the pain of the permanent separation she'd undergone as well, and
it helped to put my own loss and loneliness in perspective.
   We chatted, haltingly, at first, about their lives when dad was a small
boy, how she and Doreen, teenagers themselves, had brought him up after
their mother had died when dad was still just a toddler; his father had
died in Korea just before dad was born, killed in the action at Imjin, Hill
235, during the valiant but doomed stand of the Gloucester Battalion, 'The
Glorious Glosters', encircled, vastly outnumbered and eventually decimated.
Dad's father was one of the thousand men killed or missing in action in
just one night of fierce hand to hand fighting against the Chinese; of such
last stands legend is made.  I never knew this, and I felt a burst of pride
that my family had played a part in such a famous and evocative battle...
   She told me how, after she'd married my late Uncle Alfie, they had
become dad's surrogate parents, and how she and Doreen had been so angry
with him when he joined the Royal Air Force and had been posted to Cyprus,
because they both thought he was far too young to be separated from his
family like that.  I was fascinated, hearing family history for the first
time, about dad and Elizabeth's mother, my grandmother, how she'd
disappeared, and then turned-up one day with the baby girl and just left
her with him, and disappeared again, never to be seen or heard of again;
how he'd struggled to bring her up, a young man barely out of his teens,
then meeting mum when Elizabeth was a teenager, and finally, how it had
taken me, and then Lena, to heal the rift and bring them back together
again.
   At last I felt I understood the close bond between dad and his older
sisters.  With all the talk about family, Min had decided it was time she
went home to her son and grandchildren; being surrounded by reminders of
dad was too much for her, so she asked me to get hold of her son to come
collect her, but I told her I'd take her back to Croydon; it wasn't as
though I was busy, or anything...
   I called the number in Kolossi, mum and dad's new home, to see if Lena
had arrived yet and Lena answered, telling me about the flight and the car
journey from Paphos to Kolossi, which is about 60 km.  We chatted about
what had happened, and once again she told me that she'd be back soon, that
she just needed a little more time to get used to the idea of them not
being there.  She told me she loved me, and when I told her I loved and
missed her, she started crying.  Mum rescued the phone and promised she'd
calm Lena down.  I gave her my love to give to dad, and rang off.
   The interview the following morning was almost a formality; the Senior
Registrar, a Mr.  Barclay, reviewed my credentials and my references, some
of whom were old friends and former colleagues of his, told me what the pay
was, outlined the extent of the surgical calendar, and basically asked when
I could start, so I was in!  I asked for a few days to get settled in
properly, and agreed that I would start the following Monday, five days
away.
   I drove home, collected Min and her luggage, and headed back down the M4
to London.  She asked me to stay a couple of days but I had to decline; I
had to collect my clothes and personal papers, and make arrangements for my
stuff to be packed and shipped from my flat, collect my security deposit,
and drop off the keys, all of which took time.
   Work was just about what I expected; the local National Health Service
Hospitals Trust in Bristol had a lot of surgical patients backlogged, so I
ended up as fill-in surgeon on the Cardio-vascular surgical team, clearing
the night calendar along with the other night-owls, misfits and insomniacs,
which suited me fine, and freed-up my more gregarious colleagues from
having to rotate through the night surgery rota.
   It meant I could work all night, and then call Lena in the late morning
from home, before having dinner and going to bed.  I usually worked all
week, including weekends, which gave me less time to sit at home alone and
mope; I didn't need spare time alone, I wasn't in any kind of mood to go
out socialising, not without my Lena, so work gave me a good refuge, plus I
did earn a lot of overtime!
   I must have made a good impression, because after just a few weeks my
Locum contract was cancelled and I was made a substantive member of staff,
on a staff salary, which was less than Locum, but carried pension and
holiday benefits.
   And so my routine was established; work through the night, drive home
and call Lena while dinner was being nuked in the microwave, watch some
dire daytime TV, go for a run, have a short work-out and go to bed, to be
back at work by 10 p.m.  This worked fine for me, until at last, one day
about six weeks after she'd left, I got the call I wanted so much to hear.
   "Darryl?  Baby, I'm coming home!  My flight's booked for tomorrow,
arriving at Bristol at three o'clock, can you pick me up please baby?  And
baby...I had a bout of morning sickness today, my first one; Dar, we're
pregnant!"
   She giggled at my suddenly incoherent babbling.
   "Oh Dar, you are so sweet, listen to you, you sound like an expectant
father!  I have to go now, baby, I think you need to sit down, and this is
daddy's phone bill, so can't chit-chat!  Don't forget to come and get me!
Love you more than much, baby!"
   She hung up and I stared at the phone.  Morning Sickness!  We were
having a baby!  I grinned at the phone, feeling foolish, happy, weird, a
welter of emotions, but the overriding one was sheer gladness that my baby
was coming home, and she was having my baby!  I couldn't sleep that
afternoon, I kept seeing Lena, with a big belly, with a pushchair, carrying
a toddler, holding hands with a small child, and all the while I was
exulting that it was my baby, my child in those visions or daydreams or
whatever.
   I dropped off to sleep and dreamed of Lena and me, and our children, our
babies growing-up here in this house where love had never been in short
supply.
   I was at the airport an hour early, just so I didn't miss her through
some mischance, but her flight touched down on schedule, and I paced while
I waited for her to clear customs and get her luggage, and then suddenly,
there she was, heartstoppingly beautiful, in a tight tank-top and a short,
short skirt of the 'you're under arrest for being indecently dressed'
variety, what my fellow medical students used to call a "pussy pelmet"!
   As she saw me she shrieked and abandoned her luggage trolley to run
full-tilt at me, smothering me with kisses as she hugged me until I thought
my neck would break.  I held her close to me, unable to believe I had her
back, the gaping wound I was carrying around closing at her touch.  Then
she did something that nearly collapsed me in tears; she leaned back, and
then gently kissed me once on each cheek, and once on my forehead.
   "That was from mum and daddy, to let you know how much they love you!"
   Lena grinned and thumbed my eyes dry.
   "Don't do that, Darryl, big boys don't cry!" which made me laugh out
loud, and spin her around in sheer delight for having her back with me.
   "Let me look at you!" I told her, holding her at arm's length and
whistling.  "Yep, still gorgeous; oh, and pregnant as well!  Wonder how
that happened...?"
   Lena reached down and surreptitiously tweaked my manhood.
   "What have you done to me, you dirty, dirty man, my daddy warned me
about people like you!" she grinned, and I was so happy to see her back to
her old self; her time with mum and dad had obviously given her the closure
she needed so desperately.  Now she was back, and ready to go forward.
   I returned the favour, squeezing her lovely firm little bum,
re-acquainting myself with the curve of those ripe buttocks, and she
grinned, leaning close to whisper in my ear;
   "Take me home and fuck me, Darryl!  Six weeks without you, I was nearly
climbing the fucking walls!  I have three holes, I want them all filled,
you've got a dirty mind, let yourself go!  Who knows, maybe you can put a
little sister in there to keep our baby company!"
   I had to grin.
   "That's not actually possible, you do know that, right?" I whispered
back, and grinned even wider at her cheeky smile.
   "Just try, for my sake; call it medical curiosity!  I want you to do
things to me, I want to soak the bed, I want to drip spunk from every hole,
I want you to make me scream like a banshee in an echo canyon, I want to
fuck like a baboon on Meth!  I've had six fucking weeks with no you, I'm
knocked-up and too randy for words, what the hell are you waiting for, a
gilt-edged invitation?"
   Like I said before, when she's in full flow, there's no-one quite like
Lena...
   She ducked into the Ladies restroom, then walked down to the car park
with her arm around my waist while I pushed her luggage trolley.
   We piled her luggage into the car and drove out of the car park, heading
along the Bridgewater Road to pick up the A370 and the A4 back to Clifton,
a 20 minute drive in the middle of the afternoon, but Lena soon discovered
how to make it seem ever so much longer.
   I was driving quite happily, casting the occasional glance at her lovely
thighs as her short skirt rode up, when I noticed she was gradually pulling
it up even higher, until I saw she had no panties on; that was why she'd
ducked out back at the airport!
   I nearly crashed at that point, mesmerised as I was by the sight of that
bare perfect little pussy staring at me.  I tore my eyes way at the last
second to avoid a giant Polish rig hammering down the road in the opposite
direction, horn blaring, and locked eyes with her for a second to see the
devilment there as she began stroking her thigh, her hand moving closer and
closer to her honey-pot with every pass.
   I had to tear my eyes away and think of anything except her, or the
suddenly restrictive seatbelt as my cock tried to wrestle its way out of my
pants by sheer brute force.  How we got home in one piece is still a
mystery to me...
   Lena helped me carry her luggage in, over my protests that she was in no
condition to go lugging suitcases around.
   "Nonsense, Dar, I'm turning into a mother, not a cream-cake, stop
fussing and get your clothes off!" was all I got out of her, so I complied,
inspired by the sight of her as she stripped of the minimal clothing she
was wearing.  When we were both naked, Lena took me by the hand and led me
upstairs to my old room, then climbed onto the bed and posed for me, a
sight guaranteed to further stiffen everything that needed to be stiff
right now.
   "Come on Darryl, show me how much you missed me!" she grinned.
   I slid onto the bed next to her, kissing her to reassure myself that she
really was here.  I'd been dreaming about this moment for weeks, now there
was no need to rush things, she was back, and she wasn't going anywhere any
time soon.  Lena responded enthusiastically, kissing me with a depth and
vigour I'd missed so much when she was gone.
   She broke away to kiss my neck, and push me back down onto the bed as
she kissed down my chest, nipping my nipples as she passed and making me
gasp at the sudden sensation.  She carried on south, to kiss and gently
lick the tip of my solidly erect cock before kissing down the shaft to my
balls.  Lena fondled my scrotum, gently massaging them in their sac,
licking and rubbing with her tongue before gently sucking one at a time
into her mouth, 'tea-bagging' me properly, the way it should be done, and
nearly making my hair stand on end.
   After rolling my seeds around in her mouth for a little, she released
them and kissed her way back up the shaft to my head, licking the tip again
before throwing her leg over my midriff and pointing her pussy at me.
   "Off you go, baby, you know what I want!" she grinned, and I was more
than happy to lick and suck her puffy little muffy.  I took a double
handful of her hot, perfect little backside, pulling the cheeks apart so I
could admire the scenery before plating her with a few well-placed licks
and enjoy the taste of her after so long.
   Lena was in a world of her own, gently sucking and licking my sensitive
cock head, so I concentrated on probing between her already swollen labia,
pushing my tongue between them to find the delicate space inside.  Lena
groaned as I did that, the vibration against my cock extremely stimulating,
and I had to stop for a few seconds to regain control; I didn't want to go
off before I'd finished pleasuring my girl.
   All calmed down again, I licked her from her clitoris to her pink little
anus with the flat of my tongue, making her dance around on top of me with
every stroke, and redouble her slurping and sucking on my own sex-toy she
was so busily playing with.  The more I licked her the more she wriggled
and thrust back against me, and when I rubbed my tongue-tip against her
clitoris in a criss-cross pattern, she began to orgasm, really going off
when I jammed my tongue into her tight little anus.  A spray of hot liquid
gushed over my neck and chin as she orgasmed like a tidal wave, screaming
around my cock.  That did it for me, and I flooded her mouth as I came in
long spurts of semen, six weeks' worth of frustration, need, and longing
unleashed into her hot, willing mouth, the feeling almost turning me inside
out as I emptied into her, groaning out loud as I did so.  Lena squeezed my
balls as I came, the added stimulation wringing even more spurts of semen
out of me, making me come like I'd never come before, filling her mouth
almost too fast for her to swallow.
   She slumped down on me, her body trembling and twitching as the
aftershocks flowed and ebbed through her, never letting go of my hard,
still achingly erect penis, the stimulation of her warm little hand wrapped
around me all I needed to stay hard and ready for more.  Lena rolled off me
and clambered around to lie next to me, her elbow on the pillow next to me,
her head resting on her hand, and her other hand clasped firmly about my
still-hard cock.
   "So Dar, looks like you have unfinished business; want to let me in on
it?" she grinned, giving me a squeeze and a shake, slapping my erect penis
against my belly.
   I couldn't resist her, and made a grab for her, pulling her on top of me
to lie with her knees on either side of my midriff, my hands clasping her
bum cheeks tightly.  We kissed and played for a few minutes, reconnecting
after our time apart, re-discovering the simple pleasure of holding and
touching each other as we kissed.
   Eventually, other needs started to make themselves felt; Lena began
slowly rolling her belly against mine, the motion squeezing my erect cock
deliciously, maddeningly, and making me gasp as she looked on with that sly
smile on her face.  I dug my fingers into her bum and pulled the cheeks
apart, repaying her by making her gasp in turn.  She got the message, and
lifted her pelvis momentarily to allow my cock to spring upright, then took
hold of it to rub the head teasingly over her sticky little juice-box.
   I also got the message, pressing forward to slide into her, hissing with
the pleasure of feeling her tightness around me again; if I hadn't already
come once, I'd probably have come there and then.  Lena sighed as I slid
into her, pushing herself upright to sit astride me, my cock buried all the
way inside her.  She began rolling her hips, for all the world like a
slow-motion bull-rider in a Texas bar, her fingertips tweaking and
squeezing her nipples as she grinned challengingly at me.  I slid my hands
up to cup and squeeze her breasts, flicking her nipples with my thumbs as I
squeezed them, keeping her on a slow simmer as she rode me so well, feeling
the grip and squeeze of her pussy as she clenched and relaxed her pelvic
floor muscles.
   She began to speed up, her thrusts against me becoming more of a grind
as she rubbed herself against me as she rocked back and forth.  She leaned
down to lie on my chest, kissing me as she continued to rub herself against
me, her breathing becoming irregular and shallow, and I was able to thrust
back into her further now that she wasn't doing all the work.  We humped
and pumped against each other, reaching for that moment, our heart-rates
rising in tune with our arousal, Lena's eyes beginning to glaze as she
ground and pumped harder and harder against me.
   She came in a series of waves, her pussy pulsating around me as she
orgasmed, a flood of warmth pouring out of her to soak my balls and the bed
underneath me.  That was enough to drive me over the edge and join her,
pumping long streams of spunk deep into the depths of her, spunk I didn't
know I still had in me after the thundering orgasm she'd driven me to
earlier, both of us groaning out loud in our extremity.
   Lena lay back down on me, her body quivering with the intensity of her
release, her breathing loud in the silence of the bedroom.  Eventually her
heartbeat slowed and her breathing became more regular, normalising as she
calmed down.  She raised her head to grin sleepily at me.
   "That's more like it!  Thank you baby, that'll do for now, but you owe
me for later; we haven't finished yet!  I meant what I said at the airport,
you've got a way to go yet!"
   I grinned to myself; I knew exactly what she meant!  I nudged her to
stop her dropping off to sleep just yet.
   "Baby, shall we go to bed?  If you want to sleep, this bed's sort of
cramped; there's a double-bed in the bedroom below, why don't we move
there?"
   Lena turned and cuddled up against me, yawning.
   "I want this as our room, Dar; this is where we made our baby, in this
little bed.  I want to sleep in it with you again, I want to hold you close
all night, and wake up in the morning with the early morning sun in my
face, in here, please?"
   How could I refuse her?
   "Okay, sweetheart, this is our room from now on.  Have a couple of hours
rest, and I'll wake you up at six.  I've got the night off, so I'm taking
you out to dinner."
   Lena mumbled something, slid her arm around me, and fell asleep almost
immediately.  I wasn't sleepy, so I lay there next to her, enjoying the
feel of her, her warmth, the warm scent of her hair, her own delicate
scent, that special, almost subliminal odour that told me 'This is Lena,
she's right here!'
   On the dot of six I licked the tip of her nose and kissed her eyelids,
waking her as gently as I could
   "Wakey-wakey little snorer, aren't you hungry?" I whispered in her ear.
   Lena punched me in the ribs.
   "I do not snore!  And why did you have to wake me up?  I was having the
loveliest dream; it was about...about mum and daddy...and something, and
now I'll never know how it turned out, thanks, Darryl!"
   I grinned and licked her nipples, making her sigh and wriggle, those
delectable nipples dancing in the warm summer evening air.
   "Ohhh, that's nice!" she smiled, "what else have you got for me?" she
asked, her fingers lightly grazing my crotch.
   "Princess, right now, what I'm thinking of doing to you would get me
locked up in 49 countries, excommunicated in 27 of them, and burned at the
stake in The Vatican, but it would be so worth it!  The only down-side is
that it would mean you'd have to eat dinner standing up, and that would
just look strange!" I grinned back as her eyebrows went up, followed by the
world's dirtiest grin.
   "OK, take me to dinner, wine me, dine me, seduce me with good food and
fine wine, young sir, do your worst, I'm ready for you!  You still owe me,
and I'm going to make you my man-slut, by hook or by crook!" she giggled,
slipping out of bed to rummage in the closet for a towel.  As she turned to
leave the room, she paused in the doorway to run her hands over her
perfect, sculpted buttocks, squeezing and pulling them open for a second
for me to glimpse the pink treasure nestling deep between them, a naughty,
pixie grin on her face, before blowing me a kiss and slipping away down the
corridor to the main bathroom.
   Dinner was good, steaks and lobster at a nice little restaurant at the
bottom of Park Street, just off College Green, and afterwards we took a
walk across the Green to stroll outside the floodlit cathedral, looking, as
we had done since we were kids, for the bullet scars and sword cuts in the
statues of saints and royalist effigies from when Cromwell's men had
defaced the 'blasphemous' effigies carved on the outer precincts of the
medieval cathedral walls and porches during the English Civil War in the
17th Century.
   I'd forgotten how much there was to see in my home town, or how much
history had originated there; just around the corner from the cathedral was
the quay where John Cabot set sail to discover Newfoundland, the first
European to set foot on mainland North America, outside the church built by
The Merchant Venturer's, and a few hundred yards away was the Red Maid's
School, the oldest girl's school in England, dating back to the early 17th
century; when I was younger, they still wore the red dresses and Red-Riding
Hood capes that gave them their name.
   Back up at the top of Park Street was the 16th century Queen Elizabeth
Hospital School, a Tudor mansion housing the Bluecoat school, the
choristers and senior boys still dressed in 17th century navy-blue frock
coats, snowy-white neck stocks and Navy-blue knee britches with silver
buttons at the knee, with mustard stockings and silver-buckle shoes,
looking as though they'd just stepped out of a Van Dyck painting.
   Just along from the Green was Welsh Back, an 18th century cobbled quay
on the River Avon, with the Llandoger Trow, an almost untouched 18th
century inn, where Robert Louis Stevenson used to drink, on the wall a
portrait of the original landlord, 'Long' John Silver, or another old inn,
'The Hole in the Wall,' so called because it was used for smuggling brandy
and lace past the Customs men waiting on the quay above...
   All this came back to me in a rush, the medieval history and Regency
elegance of my home town washing over me, the princes, pirates, dandies,
hero's and highwaymen who'd all made Bristol what it was in the days of
Empire, and I was suddenly immensely glad I'd come home, even if it had to
be like this.
   Lena understood why I had to reconnect with my home, and it was she who
led me from place to place around the city centre and Clifton, our
conversation peppered with 'do you remember...do you remember...' as I
grounded again, connecting and remembering how good life had been here, how
much my family loved living here, and our roots and deep connections with
this city; I had focused so intently on London in my job-hunting before,
thinking it offered all the answers, I had forgotten that my home town had
just as much, and maybe more, to offer; it would be a good place for our
child to grow up, this child and all the others I hoped would follow.
   When we got back indoors, I was in the frame of mind Lena had been
hoping for; she was back, and mum and dad were fine, in the place they
needed to be, we were having a baby, we had our own home that no-one could
take from us, and I had a good job.  Everything was finally falling into
place; even though the one thing I wanted most in the world was not going
to happen, weighed against all the good things we had, it was not such a
bad trade.  Dad was doing it his way, and while I wasn't exactly doing
cartwheels with joy over it, I knew and understood that this was how it had
to be, this was how he wanted it to be, and we had no say in it.  I was
feeling distinctly mellow by the time we reached home, especially as we had
a rather special dessert planned...
   Lena bustled about in the kitchen, making coffee while I drew all the
curtains and checked all the doors and windows were locked, a ritual I
replayed from childhood days.  We retired to the big couch in the living
room, me with my feet up on the coffee table, Lena sitting curled-up next
to me, her head on my shoulder as she told me about mum and dad, their
home, how dad was.  Lena was encouraged; he seemed to be a lot better,
adapting well to the dry summer heat, his respiratory distress seemed to
have backed down quite significantly, and he was a lot more mobile these
days.  I was glad, but wistful; I wanted my dad, and mum, it didn't feel
right to be lording it around in their house while they lived in a pokey
little place in a small village and waited for dad to die, but this was
what they wanted; they were making sure their kids always had a roof over
their heads, how could I fault them for that?
   We talked about various things, my job, the rest of the family,
eventually coming to us and what we were going to do next.  I knew what I
wanted; Lena, pure and simple.  The six weeks she was gone were the
longest, loneliest days of my life, far worse than the days immediately
after the family had dropped me off at Student Halls and driven away, and I
knew I would never let that happen again; she belonged with me, and I
belonged with her, to the bitter end.  Wherever she went from now on, I was
going too, she was part of me now, and I needed to have her with me, and
the empathy we shared told me she felt exactly the same way about me.  Our
conversation soon shifted to the non-verbal.  Her lips had never tasted
sweeter or more desirable that when I held her close and kissed her like
there was no ending possible in this world or the next.  She had taken over
my heart, my life, and my world, imprisoning me in turn in her heart, and I
was never so glad to be in such total captivity.
   Gradually we worked our way from kissing to more serious touching and
caressing, our kisses punctuated by the occasional giggle, gasp, or soft
moan.  We surfaced long enough to decide that we needed a bed for what we
wanted to do, so we made our way up to the master bedroom on the first
floor, losing our clothes along the way.
   Once in the bedroom, I was able to admire my girl again, to drink in the
sight of her naked body, tall, lithe, perfectly formed, her breasts crowned
with tempting pink nipples, already beginning to darken as her body changed
to nurture the life growing inside her.  Her long glossy black hair was
even longer now, brushing the small of her back as it tumbled down to
contrast perfectly against her fair skin and vivid, cornflower-blue eyes.
   My reaction to her was, as always, immediate and obvious, and her eyes
twinkled as she took me in hand, her grip warm and achingly sensual against
my throbbing cock.
   "I told you earlier, you owe me, Darryl Morgan, and I always collect! 
You know what I want, I've been waiting weeks for this, do it to me, make
me scream!"
   I held her to me as we kissed, my painfully hard erection pressed up
against her soft white belly, pressing against that place our baby was
beginning its life, and the thought of that made me want her even more,
arousal blazing through me as I stiffened even more.  As I backed her
toward the bed, she squeezed and rubbed me, thrills running up and down my
spine at the exquisite torture of her hands on me.  I backed her up to the
bed and turned, meaning to pull her down on top of me, but she got there
first, grinning impishly as she pushed me over, to land on top of me, her
legs straddling me as her wetness rubbed along the length of my aching
cock.
   She grinned again, biting her lip as she began to rub herself more
deliberately along me, her hot pussy dragging up and down the length of my
cock, driving me crazy as she coated me with her juices, her breathing
becoming ragged and uneven as she worked herself up.  At last, she raised
up and took hold of me, aiming me as she slowly lowered herself down onto
me, impaling herself on me.  My cock felt bigger that it had ever felt in
my life, and I could have sworn it was longer than the seven or so inches I
knew it was, I was so worked-up by the thought of what we were doing here.
   As she lowered herself onto me, Lena hissed in satisfaction, gasping as
I slid deeply into her.  When I was all the way in, she began to rock and
gyrate her hips, rolling herself up and down on me, pleasuring herself
while her pussy squeezed and released me in time to her movements,
alternately sucking and relaxing its hold on me.
   She gasped as she climaxed, her pussy squeezing me rapidly as she
convulsed, her hands resting on my chest as the waves of orgasm rushed and
surged through her, until she slumped down on me, her heart beating rapidly
and her pulse fluttering in the hollow of her throat.  I thought she'd
passed out, she lay so still on me, then she pushed herself upright and
grinned down at me.
   "You're not finished yet, Darryl, we have unfinished business!" she
smiled, squeezing my cock again as she slowly rocked on top of me.  Without
warning, she sat upright and raised up, letting my cock pull out with an
almost audible pop, and taking hold of it, began to rub her vulva, her
perineum, and the tight pucker of her back hole, slowly working my head
into her anus, using her own vaginal juices and the clear liquid running
out of my cock to lubricate and ease my penetration.  She worked the head
in until the ring snapped around the shaft, giving a loud, gasping "Oh!" as
it popped in past her barrier, then gasping softly as she slowly slid down
me, burying me to the hilt in her hot, tight, sinewy rectum.
   The pressure on my cock was unbelievable, part of me wanting it to go on
forever, another part wanting to just come and keep coming endlessly,
flooding her with my spunk.  As she rode me, I began to push back against
her, fucking her tightest hole as she ground away on me, her rectum
squeezing and massaging my cock delightfully.
   The end was quick in coming; I'd been too long without her, and the
sheer sexual charge of what we were doing here, the smell and closeness of
her, all of it was too much to contain, and I came in what felt like
endless jets of spunk bulleting out of me and deep into her, bathing her
insides with my essence, and triggering her own massive, shuddering orgasm.
   We shook and quivered together, gasping and sobbing in the intensity of
our release, gradually descending from that peak into the calm on the other
side, to lie in each other's arms, bathed in sweat, but sated, fulfilled,
completed.  As my erection abated, I slowly slid from her, Lena pulling
herself against me to once again nip me lightly, teasingly on the chin, her
own signature gesture, thanking me and letting me know she was back at
last, this time forever.
   We woke early, the late summer sunshine flooding golden and bright into
the airy room through the tall, elegant Georgian window, reminding me of my
childhood, of the last days of the summer holiday before school resumed.  I
had the day off, in fact I had several days off, and I planned to spend
them all drinking in the delight that was Lena, revelling in having her
back with me again, and sorting out our plans for this house now that a new
life was starting here, both for us and for our baby.  Lena was the first
to move, breaking the chain of reverie I was indulging in, stroking my face
as she kissed me 'good morning'.
   I started to get up, prompting her to ask where I was going.
   "To make breakfast, baby girl; I don't know about you, but I need a
shower, then a meal; we used up a lot of energy last night, I'm feeling the
need to feed!" I grinned, admiring her nakedness in the bright golden
sunshine; she really was spectacular, and I asked myself how I could have
missed seeing her all the days of our lives together.  I smiled as I
thought what she'd resorted to in order to open my eyes to what had been
under my nose the whole time.  As I contemplated how beautiful she was, her
eyes widened and her mouth watered, making her clamp her mouth shut as she
scrambled out of bed and dashed into the family bathroom along the
corridor, from where I heard the sounds of someone being noisily sick.  I
decided to use the smaller en-suite shower in the bedroom rather than
disturb Lena in her morning prayers to the porcelain God.
   I resisted the urge to offer her something to counter the
morning-sickness; the horror and heartache of the Thalidomide catastrophe
was forever imprinted in my brain, and that of every other doctor in the
UK; she'd just have to live with it until it ran its course.
   The shower was invigorating, hot and sharp, almost stinging me with the
force of the spray, the way I'd always liked it.  I was deep in
contemplation of what I was going to do now that fatherhood was looming
when the bathroom door edged open and Lena slid in, opening the shower
cubicle door and stepping in without comment, turning down the pressure on
the shower unit and grinning at me as she handed me the gel.
   "Back please, Dar, then I'll do yours!"
   I was more than happy to oblige, Lena has lovely skin, and any excuse to
touch, rub or fondle it was a treat for me.  She sighed as I soaped her
back, not forgetting her marvellous little bottom, my hands lingering over
the elegant globes, squeezing and kneading them for the delight in holding
and running my hands over those firm fleshy orbs, before moving round to
the front, slowly soaping her stomach, then moving up to catch and squeeze
her breasts, listening to her gasp as I flicked her nipples, then lower,
until my fingers slipped and slid over the lips of her pussy.
   "No Dar, not unless you mean it...ooohhh!" she groaned as I slowly
rubbed her hooded clitoris, one hand playing with and gently rubbing her
vulva while the other wandered up to squeeze and pull her nipples.  My cock
was getting hard against her, already pressing into the valley between her
glorious cheeks.  I rubbed more insistently, feeling her labia swell as she
began to get aroused again, her own hand joining mine in touching pressing,
slipping in and out, teasing her as she stood against me.
   By now my cock was at full stretch, something she appreciated as she
wriggled her backside against me, checking the feel of me slotted between
her cheeks.  I could feel her grinning even though she had her back to me,
years of knowing each other's moods from tiny little clues came into play;
the tilt of the head, the set of the shoulders, a multitude of subliminal
clues, and right now she was grinning as she waited for Act Two.  I
obliged, slipping another finger into her, rubbing the two of them in and
out of her as I squeezed and tugged at her nipples, drawing little gasps
and sighs from her.  I could feel the juices gathering at her entrance, and
smell the excitement as her arousal rose higher, the scent enticing and
stimulating, making me want to do more than just touch this beautiful girl
who was having my baby.
   Lena sensed where I was going, and slowly turned to face the wall of the
cubicle, leaning against it as she pushed out her rump invitingly at me.
   "There you are, Dar, do it like this, I want you to do it like this!"
she murmured.
   I was only too happy to oblige!  I positioned her carefully, holding her
by her hips as I slowly slid into her, her breath hissing as I filled her.
She put her hands flat against the tiled wall and braced herself as I began
to thrust into her, pushing back against me with every thrust into her, to
take as much of me into her as she could.
   The feel of her clasping me gently as I thrust into her was a powerful
inducement to just letting go and flooding her with my spunk, but I held
on, waiting for her to climax; I wanted her to get as much out of this as I
did, plus being naughty in the shower was huge fun!  As I slid in and out
of her, I felt her hand as she reached down to rub herself in time to my
pumping, and the pumping and rubbing, the sound of our breathing magnified
in the confines of the cubicle, and the feel of her beautiful firm breasts
and bullet-hard nipples against the palms of my hands as I squeezed and
kneaded them, all combined to pull me remorselessly to the point of no
return.
   Just as I thought I couldn't hold out any longer, Lena began to shake
against me, her breathing ragged and harsh as she moaned out loud, and then
her pussy clamped down around me as she orgasmed with a loud, hissing moan
and a series of shudders that pushed me over the edge.  I pulled her tight
to me by her breasts as I pumped and sprayed what felt like gallons of
semen deep into her fluttering pussy, each pulsing squeeze of her tight
pussy drawing another powerful spurt of sperm from my rigid cock.  My
eyesight dimmed as my eyes slitted, and my ears popped as the huge climax
emptied me out, my body clenching inside with the need to pour more of
myself into her, the force and intensity of it nearly turning me inside
out. I had never come so hard before; only Lena was capable of drawing such
pleasure from my body and returning it to me like this.
   I slumped to my knees, utterly drained, my head roaring with the
intensity of my orgasm and its aftermath, and Lena slid down to kneel and
lean against me, her chest heaving as we waited under the spraying shower
jets for strength and coordination to return, and for the clamour in my
head to subside.
   Lena was the first to recover.
   "Holy Fuck, Batman, what was that!?" she grinned, and I could only grin
and shake my head in reply, still too winded for speech.  "I'm going to
ambush you more often, if this is what I get!"
   I had recovered enough to pull her against me, the feel of her warm,
wet, slick body against mine and her full, soft lips brushing mine an
affirmation of her reality, that she really was here with me, that she
really was home again, this time for good, and we were together, the two of
us and that tiny spark of life even now taking shape deep inside her.
   I don't know how long we sat there, exploring each other, not arousing,
just feeling and re-acquainting ourselves with the shape and feel and
texture of each other's bodies.  I was enthralled with her body and the way
she moved, the way her breasts jiggled slightly, breathtakingly, whenever
she moved, the spare elegance of her flanks, the muscles flexing and
stretching like a dancer's.  I was suddenly aware, too, of the texture of
her hair, apparently so thick and coarse, in reality fine, soft and glossy,
the threads like strands of spider-silk, of her limbs, slim and coltish,
but still rounded, feminine, desirable.
   My eyes drank in the rounded allure of her perfect backside, the way the
twin globes twitched and switched as she walked, the shadowed cleft between
them, and the sheer innocent allure of her shaven sex, the labia womanly
and tempting.  I could have contemplated her nakedness all day, but other
appetites were calling, and so, reluctantly, we exited the shower cubicle,
wrapping bath towels around ourselves and towelling off each other's hair.
   I had just finished dressing in cargo pants, Reeboks and an army surplus
UBACS shirt with the sleeves cut off when the doorbell rang.  I looked out
of the window in the upstairs hallway to see if I could identify the
caller, but all I could tell was that it was a woman, one I didn't know. 
Lena hadn't made an appearance yet, nor was she likely to, so I tramped
downstairs to answer the door.
   When I opened the door, the woman, who was probably in her early
forties, smiled and looked me up and down.
   "Hello," she smiled, "is this the Morgan residence?"
   I looked at her curiously.
   "Can I help you?" I asked her, and her smile faltered, her eyes
widening.
   "Oh my God, you...you're Darryl!"
   I nodded, wondering how she could know that.  I had to find out.
   "How did you know my name?  I asked her, surprised to see her eyes
shining with unshed tears.
   "My name is Emma North, but when I lived in Clifton, a few doors away,
my name was Fraser..."
   That name sounded familiar; where had I heard that before?  I was
racking my brain, when suddenly the answer hit me.  The night I'd found out
dad was actually my grandfather, that his daughter, Elizabeth, was my birth
mother, he'd told me my actual father was...Robert Fraser.  All this passed
through my mind in a split second, in the meantime this...Emma person was
watching me closely.
   "I know that name," I began, "I was told my father was a Robert Fraser,
a young soldier, a Royal Marine, he was killed, in The Falklands..."
   She nodded.
   "Robert was my older brother, by a year; he was a lovely boy.  I'm your
aunt, Darryl, your father's younger sister...!"
   I was taken aback; for no good reason, I had assumed that, with his
death, there was no more connection with Robert Fraser; he was only my
biological father; my dad was my dad, end of story.  Now this woman was
here, claiming to be my aunt.  I was curious as to why now.
   "This is all very interesting, but it's all kind of ancient history, no
offence.  My dad, as far as I'm concerned is David Morgan, my mum is
Maureen, and they don't live here anymore, they moved to Cyprus, so I'm
afraid I can't help you, I'm sorry."
   She reached out and touched my cheek, gently turning my face to the
right to look at my profile.
   "So much like him, and so much like Lizzie, too!  Robbie's gone, but he
still lives on in you, even if you didn't know him.  I always hoped to meet
you one day, Darryl, perhaps tell you about him, I think he'd have been
proud of you.  You're taller than he was, but you have his eyes, his hair,
even his way of standing.  It does my heart good to see there's so much of
him still here!  He was just a boy, not even out of his 'teens when he died
in that stupid little war.  My father got a pennon and a medal in exchange
for giving up his only son, not much of a trade, I'm sure you'll agree, but
he would have been proud to see his grandson grown so tall, so handsome, so
much like Robbie might have been if only..."
   She dabbed her eyes with a tissue and smiled.
   "I was hoping to see Mr.  Morgan.  I came here not really expecting to
find him, but hoping I'd strike it lucky; I last saw him here over 25 years
ago-when you were born, actually.  Do you by any chance have a forwarding
address or contact telephone number for him?  It's really quite
important..."
   I wasn't about to give out mum and dad's details to some stranger, no
matter what the claimed relationship was, so I asked her why she needed to
speak to dad.  Her answer caught me completely by surprise.
   "I came because Lizzie asked me to..."
   I sat back in shock.  Elizabeth, my birth-mother?  After 25 years?  Why?
I had to know.
   "Why now, after all these years?  Dad said there were no words, no
falling-out, Elizabeth left because she was too young to bring-up a child
alone; okay, I accept that, but why keep dad in the dark for 25 years? 
What did he do that was so bad that she had to shun him my whole life?"
   Emma looked sad.
   "Your dad did nothing; Lizzie kept away first because she didn't want to
be reminded about the child she'd left behind, but she soon grew out of
that, and then she didn't want to confuse and maybe alienate you by
suddenly appearing and trying to be your mother again, and finally because
her...lifestyle wasn't something she was too proud of."
   I was fascinated, and asked her to go on.
   "Lifestyle?  Please, do tell, I'm all ears!" I grinned.
   Emma looked thoughtful, obviously picking her words carefully.
   "Remember, this was the 80's, the age of excess, and try and not judge a
young girl too harshly, okay?"
   I nodded, so she continued.
   "Lizzie fell into the club scene, the whole 'New Romantic' thing, new
bands, this month's flavour of the month, getting passed around from music
producer to producer, it was kind of like that line in the Lou Reed song
'Take a walk on the wild side', about being everybody's darling in the
back-room, the music scene and the life that went with that; money,
fashion, wild behaviour, sex, drugs..."
   Emma looked at me to gauge my reaction, but all I said was "Go on," so
she did.
   "She was there from the beginning, she knew everyone, and everyone knew
her; no party was complete without Lizzie Morgan, or Lolly Moore, as she
called herself.  Every wild party, every new club, every new band, she was
there, part of the glitterati, usually coked-up and off her face on some
latest sensation's arm, partying in Acapulco, and Monte Carlo, Mustique,
rumours of affairs with pop royalty, real royalty, trying to find the
millionaire, jet-set lifestyle she talked about and wanted when we were in
school.  She changed her appearance so much I never even recognised her
when saw her in the papers, and I grew up with her.  It's amazing what big
blonde hair, collagen, and a new chest can do for you!"
   I was impressed in spite of myself; my mother was an 'It' Girl?  Far
out, as mum used to say...
   I listened as Emma continued.
   "Of course it all had to end; when it did, I was there to pick her up;
Lizzie and I went through school together, we were friends from when we
were five years old, she was my best friend, and Robbie was always crazy
about her, from the first day he ever set eyes on her.  When they got
together, he was over the moon; he couldn't believe his luck.  When he
shipped-out, she said she'd wait for him, and when he was killed, something
inside her just...died as well, or gave up, I don't know which, but she
changed, it was like she decided that there was no point in being there for
anyone, because no-one would be there for her; her mother had abandoned her
when she was small, now Robbie was gone.  When she had you, I think that
was the last straw; you were her reminder of Robbie, and he was gone, so
she left, and left you."
   Shepaused and looked into my eyes.
   "I'm sorry none of us ever came for you, Darryl; she made us promise
we'd leave you with her dad and leave you alone; he'd look after you
properly, much better than any of us could.  She was right; I was just a
teenager myself, my dad was a zombie after losing Robbie, I was trying to
take care of my two younger sisters, we were definitely not the place for a
baby to be.  She made your dad promise not to tell you about her until you
were ready to hear it all."
   I was intrigued in spite of myself; this was my mother we were talking
about, but try as I might, I couldn't dredge-up a single emotion for her;
love, hate, disdain, bitterness, none of those were in me when I thought of
her.  Mum and dad had given me all I ever needed, I had no missing love to
yearn for, no part of my life that she had denied me, no unfinished
business, and so I could be completely detached when it came to thinking
about Elizabeth, my birth-mother.
   "So...Emma, what did happen to Elizabeth...Lizzie?" I asked, and a
movement caught my eye.  I looked up to see Lena watching from the doorway,
her expression interested and curious.  I wondered how much she'd heard. 
She came and sat by me, and took my hand, and smiled at Emma.
   "Please, go on, we'd both like to know; what did happen to Elizabeth?"
   Emma looked startled, then smiled back at Lena.
   "You've got be her sister; God, you look just like her!"
   Lena leaned forward, her eyes fixed on Emma.
   "You were about to tell Darryl what happened to Elizabeth, so please, go
on, what happened to make her turn her back on all that?"
   Emma looked at me as she started to explain.
   "What happens to all of us, eventually; she grew up; the life she was
living only had a few ways to end, none of them good, and she came to
realise that eventually.  One day there was a knock on my door, and there
she was, Lolly Moore was gone, and Lizzie Morgan was back, older, maybe
wiser, but ready to be a grown-up at last; it took its time, but I suppose
that realisation came to her in time, which was a good thing; all her
so-called friends from those days were using, in rehab, in jail, or dead,
and I suppose she realised one day that those were her choices.  Whatever
the reason, and she's never told me fully, she was back, and back inside
herself again."
   Lena leaned forward, her eyes wide.
   "Where is she now?  Why did she never come back?  Her father wanted to
know what he'd done to keep her away so long, why didn't she ever come
back, even if it was just to say 'hello, I'm not dead!?"
   I realised Lena was angry, and Emma reared back slightly.
   "Oh my God, you looked just like her then!  Lizzie has that exact
expression when she's mad!"
   Lena said nothing, her eyes flashing, and Emma smiled slightly, covering
her mouth with her hand.
   "For a second there you looked so much like her it was scary!  To answer
your question, she kept away because she didn't know how to come back.  I
suppose staying away had become a habit that was just too hard to break;
she thought she had no reason to come back, then she was too guilty to come
back, and finally she just couldn't work out how to come back, perhaps she
thought too much time had passed to ever make it right again, so she left
well enough alone."
   "But now she wants to see her father just this one last time.  When she
was in her mid-twenties she met a man, a good man, the usual happened, and
they had a home, not too far from Bristol, as it happens, he had a good
job, they were happy.  They had two children, a boy and a girl, then things
started to go wrong between them, and eventually they broke up, he left,
and she's there today.  The little boy, Marcus, looks an awful lot like
her, like you actually, and very much like your dad!" she grinned, looking
at Lena.
   "The little girl, well, not so little, she's almost a teenager now, her
name's Allie, she's the very image of Lizzie, just like how I remember her
looking when we were young.  They're a good family, a happy family, they
don't have much, but they all love and support each other.  Lizzie wants to
come home, to say the things she should have said all those years ago, but
you say her dad's gone, he lives in Cyprus now.  Would you give me his
address, or maybe a telephone number?  I know Lizzie needs this; perhaps
her dad needs this as well.  Please give her a chance; she's not the Lizzie
who left, that girl is long gone, I should know."
   Lena stood up.
   "I want to meet her, I want to look the woman in the face who walked
away from Darryl, from my dad, and let him suffer all that guilt for all
those years for nothing.  He did nothing, and yet she punished him; I want
to meet her so I can say what needs to be said to her, things I know my dad
would never say; then it will be square.  I get to meet her, she gets to
talk to dad; hell, I'll even take her there, but she looks me in the face
first, got it?"
   Emma nodded, a small smile on her face.
   "It's amazing how like Lizzie you are when you're angry, God, you're
just like her!"
   Lena stuck out her chin pugnaciously.
   "I am nothing like her!" she enunciated carefully, and even I had to
grin behind her back; I was just glad I wasn't on the receiving end of that
particular broadside!
   "So, do we have a deal?" asked Lena, her eyes still slitted and angry,
and Emma nodded.
   "Today, four o'clock, she's coming into town with me to go shopping in
Broadmead, we'll be here at four, I promise you.  Maybe she needs this as
well, and I think maybe she needs to explain herself to you, Darryl.  We'll
see you then!"
   We showed her to the door, where she surprised me with a quick,
heartfelt hug, before wiping her eyes.
   "I'm sorry, I had to do that," she apologised, "please forgive me for
taking such a liberty, you're so much like Robbie, it's almost like having
him back again!"
   We watched her get into her car and drive away, then Lena turned to me.
   "Okay, I'm not in the mood to cook breakfast, take me out to breakfast,
baby-daddy, baby needs expensive food, so does mummy, so come on,
Moneybags, unchain your wallet and buy me breakfast!"
   I slid my hand down and squeezed her lovely firm, juicy little bum,
feeling her sundress slide easily over the satiny flesh of her taut cheek,
unhindered by panties.  I cocked an eyebrow at her.
   "You want me to parade you around with no knickers on under that
ridiculously short dress, you scandalously under-dressed little doxy?" I
grinned at her, Lena grinning back at me.
   "When we get back from wherever you take me, and it better be
mind-numbingly, eye-wateringly expensive, I plan on getting topped-up from
this morning; being pregnant has made me very horny and almost completely
uninhibited, so I want you to sit there and eat your breakfast while you
concentrate on how naked I am under this silly dress, what I'm prepared to
let you do to me, and most of all, how quickly I can be naked if the price
is right; right now the price is a really, really good breakfast, so come
on Seymour, feed me!"
   As she finished, she squeezed me through my trousers, compounding the
agony by kissing me hotly as she squirmed against me.  As I went to get the
car keys, she stopped me.
   "Dar, this is Clifton; if you wander into any Cafe, Bistro, or
restaurant around here looking like that, they'll tell you to wander back
out again; trousers, shirt, and shoes, please, real ones, not army surplus,
chop-chop!"
   I asked what was wrong with the way I was dressed.
   "Dar, you look like Bob the Builder, and most places in Clifton won't do
a bacon and ketchup sandwich and a mug of tea stewed 'til it's red, so at
least try and look like a young professional, please!"
   Ten minutes later we were in a painfully trendy place, all Barista's,
brass lamps and Tuscan ceramic tabletops, eating tiny swordfish steaks
smothered in garlic butter and cayenne pepper that hardly seemed adequate,
given the King's ransom we were paying for it.  Lena noticed my expression
and grinned
   "Eat up, Darryl, you need to build-up your strength!"
   Not if I had to depend on those flaky little bite-size morsels of
fish...
   The next course appeared, Eggs Benedict on toasted sourdough muffins,
and a basket of Angels on Horseback, with toasted Granary bread, farmhouse
butter, and a lemony sour cream and chives dip; now that was more like it!
I have to admit, I stuffed those wonderful things into my mouth as fast as
I could chew, Lena watching in frank admiration as I piled in the food.  I
was taking her seriously; if she meant what she said, I was in for a
strenuous morning!
   We finished with a sigh, just in time for a crisp crème brouleé, 'to
cleanse the palate' according to the phony-sounding French(-ish) waiter,
anyway.  We relaxed over coffees, discussing Emma's visit that morning. 
Lena was still angry, but it was backed-down to a low simmer now, more to
do with the fact that her sister had kept away for what seemed to her to be
some very thin reasons.
   I was curious to meet her, however; I had no connection to this mother
of mine; as far as I was concerned, my mum lived in Cyprus, and just as
soon as I could get some extended leave, I was taking Lena out to see her
again, and spend some time with her and my dad.  Lizzie Morgan and Robert
Fraser were just names to me, and I was pretty sure I wasn't about to fall
into any tearful reunions with her over what had happened 25 years before,
when I was still just a new-born.
   After a while I noticed Lena giving me some very meaningfully coy looks,
and suddenly the reason for the high-protein breakfast raced back into
mind. Ah-ha, she was primed and ready for some mid-morning fun and games;
good, the inner-man was satisfied, so I was ready too!
   We paid the bill, an action that seemed like robbery without violence,
and strolled back home in the late morning summer sunshine, the sun still
potent even though Autumn would be here in a few weeks.  It was a strange
feeling, walking hand in hand with her like this, but strange in a good
way; previously, I'd always accompanied her as her big brother, now I was
her partner, her lover, and the father of her baby.
   I'd never really strolled with her like this before; I'd only ever let
her hold my hand when she was small, and as we grew older, if she managed
to persuade or browbeat me into accompanying her, I'd slouch along a step
or so behind her, hands thrust in pockets, trying to give anyone who might
have bothered to notice us, the impression that we were not together, I was
just along to keep an eye on her.
   Now I wanted to hold her hand like this, it felt like the most normal
and natural thing in the world; she was tall, eye-catchingly beautiful, and
she was mine.  I noticed the looks passers-by gave her, and the envious
looks I was getting from men as we strolled past them, hands clasped
together, Lena oblivious to the looks and glances, talking instead about
how life was going to be for us now, her eyes and flashing smile a beacon
of beauty on the sunlit street.  She fitted in perfectly here, I thought;
amidst all the trendy wine bars, designer coffee houses, chi-chi little
bistro's and exclusive boutiques, she looked like one of the beautiful
people for whom a place like this was their natural habitat, she wore it
like a second skin, and it suited her so well.
   As I fumbled with the key in the front door, she pinched my backside,
making me jump.
   "That's to remind you, Dar, it's playtime!"
   I grinned, loving her refreshingly direct approach, and definitely
feeling in a playful mood myself, standing aside to usher her in and pinch
her backside in revenge, making her shriek and giggle.  I slammed the door
and chased her upstairs, finally catching her lying provocatively on the
bed, her long, long legs stretched out and crossed demurely at the ankles,
her eyes hooded and mysterious.  She was fully dressed and not giving me
the 'come-on', but, somehow, just the sight of her lying there like that
was an incitement to riot.  I sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed her
tummy, holding the place our baby slept, watching her grin as I worked my
way up until I was kneading her breast, feeling the nipple stiffen under
the thin fabric of her sundress.
   "Get naked Dar, your famous Disappearing Mother will be here in a couple
of hours, and I need to be in a good mood so I don't bite her head off!"
   I grinned and took the hint, pulling off my Hackett polo shirt and Farah
slacks, and kicking my shoes and socks across the room.  Lena knelt up on
the bed and began shrugging off her simple halter dress, but I stopped her;
this was my job!  She grinned as I slid the halter over her neck and
allowed the dress to fall to her waist, cupping her hands over her
delicious breasts.
   I pulled her closer to me, kissing her as I ran my hands lightly over
her sleek back, feeling the silky texture of her skin.  Lena slid upright
and stood away from the bed, wriggling her hips to let the dress fall to
the floor, to stand completely naked, gorgeous, and feminine, and all mine.
I know gloating is an unseemly activity, but you know, once in his life
every man is allowed a moment of unseemly gloating; this was mine.
   Lena stepped close again, her hands going about my neck as my hands
found her delectable bottom again, sliding around her hips to hold and
squeeze those delightful globes, pulling her closer against me.  She leaned
down to nibble my ear, and grabbed hold of my straining cock.
   "Whatever you're going to do, do it soon, hotshot!"
   I obliged, pulling her down to me so I could nibble her outthrust
nipples.  Lena giggled and pushed me over, landing on top of me.  I
scrambled back up the bed and pulled her up along me, to straddle me while
I licked and chewed her nipples.  Lena pulled away from me and sat up, then
raised up and took hold of me, aiming me just right before sliding down,
impaling herself on my rigid cock in one long slow glide, hissing with
satisfaction as she slid down on me.
   She rolled and gyrated her hips, her tight pussy squeezing and releasing
me as she squirmed atop me, closing her eyes when I reached up to squeeze
and rub her engorged nipples, her breathing quickening as her pace
increased.  Lena rubbed and ground herself against me as I pushed back
against her, forcing my cock all the way into her as she pumped her tight,
squeezing pussy around me, the sensation like another mouth working on me,
edging me toward climax, while her hands clamped tightly against mine,
holding my hands tightly against her swollen nipples.
   AS I squeezed and rolled her nipples under mypalms, her efforts
redoubled, her breath hitching and panting now as she pounded against me,
while I grimly held on to my last shreds of self-control, willing myself
not to come until she'd climaxed.  Suddenly she was there, her head lolling
forward as she groaned and shuddered, her pussy convulsing around me.
   That was it; I couldn't take any more, and I came like a runaway freight
train, the spunk shooting out of me in an endless spray with such force I
nearly passed-out from the shock of it, crying out in my extremity.  I
could feel my toes curling with the intensity of my orgasm, every muscle in
my body strained and tensed as my body drained itself into her.
   Lena slumped down on my chest, gasping and shivering, our bodies glued
to each other by the heat and sweat of our encounter.  Lena lay motionless
as the aftershocks and tremors had died away, and then kissed me once, just
above my heart.
   "Well Dar, that filled me up, no mistake!  If I wasn't pregnant before,
I bloody well am now!"
   She giggled and lay back down, and I grinned, my hands sliding down her
sleek back to hold and cup her shapely rump, absently squeezing and
kneading the pneumatic cheeks while I enjoyed the moment of post-coital
happiness and relaxation, the 'after-glow'.  My thoughts turned to what
Elizabeth would say, and developing a game plan to head Lena off just in
case she decided to launch a banzai attack on "Lizzie", but I also wanted
to just lie there for a while and savour the feeling of Lena lying prone on
me, her scent, the feel of her skin against mine, and the tempting,
delicious ripeness of the lovely apple bottom I was clutching so lovingly.
   I was just starting to mellow out, and probably doze-off when I turned
my head and saw the clock on the nightstand.
   "Lena, up, come on, it's gone three o'clock; your sister will be here
soon!"
   Lena jerked awake, her gunslinger reflexes when abruptly woken coming to
the fore.
   "Wha'?  Where?  Wassamatter?  Oh Darryl, I'm tired go 'way!" she
muttered, planting her head back on my chest and sighing as her arms
tightened around me.
   I smacked her rump.
   "Up!  We need showers, the Famous Disappearing Mother's going to be here
soon, get a move on!  Don't you want to see your sister?"
   Lena stirred again, and opened one eye.
   "She's not my sister, and she's not your mother either; tell her to fuck
off, 'm not interested!  Now go 'way, 'm tired!"
   I grinned again.
   "I thought you wanted to give her a piece of your mind!  Sure you can
you spare any?"
   Her eyes snapped open.
   "What did you just say?"
   I rolled her off me and kissed her.
   "There, I thought that would wake you up!  Now, come and have a shower,
she's going to be here in less that forty-five minutes and we haven't got
time for one of your four-hour showers, so get weaving!  You do my back;
I'll do yours!  And no funny business, OK?"
   Lena grabbed hold of my flaccid cock and rubbed the end lightly but
meaningfully with her manicured thumbnail.
   "After she's gone, I want a word with you about that crack just now, got
it, mister?"
   I kissed the end of her nose.
   "Yours to command, Angel-May, yours to command!  Now move it!"
   With me chivvying her along, Lena managed to take a shower and dry-off
in less than 30 minutes, which had to have been some kind of record given
the production number she normally makes of it, and was sitting downstairs
with me well before 4 o'clock rolled around; or, to be more accurate, I was
sitting; Lena was pacing around like a caged tiger, tense and anxious, back
and forth across the room, driving me crazy, but I knew better than to say
anything.
   4 o'clock came and went, and still no sign of them.  Lena had put a sign
on the front door 'Door is open, come in', not wanting 'Lizzie' to ambush
me in the hallway without her firmly by her side.
   Lena began to get impatient.
   "Look, Dar, it's already ten past four, I don't think she's coming, she
could at least have...!"
   At that very second, the front door opened.
   "Hello?" we heard Emma call out, "Anyone here?"
   "In the sitting room, we're both here, come on in!" called back Lena,
standing close to me, her hand in mine.
   Emma came in the room, taking in the two of us standing there, Lena
tense and nervous, with me much more relaxed, nodded, and stepped aside to
usher the other woman with her into the room.
   I gasped in shock; it was Lena, or at least Lena in 20 years!  Dark
auburn, to be sure, but the same porcelain skin, the same dazzling blue
eyes, the same jaw-line; there was no mistaking the fact that they were
sisters, even if separated by almost a generation.
   Emma spoke first.
   "Darryl, Lena, this is Lizzie Daniels.  Lizzie, meet Darryl, and...your
sister, Lena."
   Lena nodded, hostility beginning to flare in her eyes, and I had to
squeeze her hand warningly, reminding her to wait until you have an idea
how well-armed the other side is before touching off a fire-fight...
   Lizzie smiled at us, looking even more like Lena.
   "Hello Darryl!" she said, and I started; she sounded so much like Lena
it was weird...
   She came forward and held her hand out, and I automatically,
instinctively, took it, shaking it twice, formally and letting go.  She
turned to Lena and held out her hand.
   "Lena, hello, my name's Elizabeth, but everyone calls me Lizzie.  You
have a lovely name!"
   Lena ignored her hand.
   "It's not my name, that's just what my family calls me.  You can call me
Marlene!"
   Ouch...
   Lizzie smiled again, only this time there was a brittle quality to it.
   "Well, that's a lovely name too!  Are you Maureen's daughter?"
   Lena nodded and turned away to sit down.  I indicated a seat, and the
two women seated themselves.
   Lizzie went first.
   "Darryl, Emma told me how much you look like your...like Robbie, and
it's true; you're almost the image of him!  I was quite startled when I saw
you, it was almost like he was in the room!"
   Her eyes were glittering with unshed tears, something Lena saw too.
   "Why are you here?" she asked in the sudden silence, "Daddy's not here
anymore, and I've got nothing for you, Darryl's not your son, you threw
that away, what did you come back here for?  Why now?"
   Lizzie grinned.
   "Okay, that was to the point!  It turns out a friend of a friend worked
with dad and mentioned in passing that he'd retired, and I decided that
enough was enough, I'd avoided coming back for long enough, it was now or
never.  I wanted to apologise, and before you say anything, I know, it was
a long time coming, long overdue in fact, but the truth is, I was too
ashamed to come back here, then I was too afraid he'd turn me away for
staying away so long, and finally I just didn't know how.  I want to make
my peace with my dad, tell him I'm sorry, and ask him to try and forgive me
for being so weak.  My kids are asking about the rest of their family, I
would like to be able to tell them about dad, Darryl, you, if you'll let
me, but I'll understand if you tell me to get lost."
   Lena looked as though she was going to take her at her word, then
subsided and glanced at me, silently asking me to tell Lizzie about dad,
her father.  I put my arm around Lena and looked over at Elizabeth, my
birth-mother, feeling no connection, no abandonment or sense of loss, just
sympathy for this woman who was finally trying to clean up her past
mistakes.
   "I don't know what to call you, so I'll call you Lizzie.  Dad and mum
have gone to Cyprus, the hot dry climate will help him, and his doctor
recommended that he go."
   Lizzie looked puzzled.
   "What's wrong, why did he have to go to Cyprus?"
   I looked at Lena, who nodded, obviously not trusting herself to speak.
   "Dad's dying.  He has a form of pneumoconiosis, his lungs are losing
function, and his heart is damaged.  The prognosis is good in the short
term, but medium to long term...it's not good, not good at all; he's
deteriorating, and it's not going to be easy."
   Lizzie looked stricken.
   "He's...dying?  How...how long?"
   I looked at the floor, at Lena, anywhere except her face, so much like
my own darling Lena.
   "He's been sick for a long time now, but he only told me just before
they left.  He hasn't got too much time left, a year, maybe a little
longer, eighteen months at the outside.  He left six weeks ago, he and mum
bought a place out there, and mum has a job at the hospital there, they
provide all his specialist care.  They're doing it their way, the way they
want to do it, he's happy, they're both happy."
   Lizzie looked like she was about to cry, and I felt myself empathising
with her; much as I wanted to dislike and disown this woman, I couldn't do
it; she was just too much like Lena; just without the depth and breadth of
character my Lena displayed, I told myself; she'd been weak and easily led,
she allowed herself to be a party animal because she couldn't be a parent,
but I couldn't hate her for that; I didn't know that I would have reacted
any differently if I'd been in her shoes, and I'd done enough judging in
recent times to last me a lifetime.  Emma was right; it had been a
different time, another world a long way away and a long time ago from the
one we lived in now, and I had no right, or inclination, to judge her.  I
had never had her to miss her, mum had been there, and she was my mum, not
this person sitting here with us.
   Now the tears rolled slowly down her cheeks, and Lena stirred, her eyes
flashing as her face paled.
   "Don't you dare do that, you don't get to do that!  You've had
twenty-five years to let daddy know he did nothing wrong, that it wasn't
his fault, that you just wanted to screw around, and yet it was just too
much trouble.  You could have picked up a phone, you could have written a
letter, but no, you just let him stew, wondering what he did that was so
wrong it drove his daughter away, letting him blame himself for nothing,
dumping your baby with him and boogieing out the door without a backwards
glance, just so you could go off and be freak of the week!"
   Lena paused to draw breath, her eyes spitting sparks and her nostrils
flared as she stared at her sister,and when she spoke again, her voice was
low and throbbing with anger.
   "You never once came back to ask him how your baby was, if he was alive
or dead, happy, anything at all, not a fucking dickey-bird!  Well Daddy and
mum brought up your son like their own, they did everything for him that
you couldn't be bothered with, and my Darryl's the man he is because of
them and not because of you; six weeks ago we'd never fucking heard of you,
right now I wish to Christ I'd never heard of you at all, ever!  There's
nothing of you in him, nothing at all, he doesn't even look like you, and
I'm glad of that; it means he doesn't have to see your face every time he
looks in the mirror!"
   I was shocked, deeply, at her outburst; Lena never loses her temper,
she's the most temperate and well-adjusted person I know, and now she was
ramping-mad, her eyes blazing behind slitted lids, and her face livid, her
chest heaving as she vented her fury on her absentee older sister.
   She drew breath for another broadside, and I squeezed her hand.
   "No, Princess, don't, it's bad for the baby!"
   Lizzie had shrunk back in her seat in the face of Lena's verbal
onslaught, while Emma watched in shocked silence.  At the mention of the
baby, she cocked her head at me.
   "She's pregnant?"
   I nodded.
   "About six weeks along, just at the morning-sickness stage.  I think
it's time you left, please, I don't want her being agitated any more than
she already is.  I'll give you dad's number in Cyprus, you can call him, I
suggest you do, almost the last thing he said before he left was that he
never knew what he did to make you leave, perhaps you should let him know
what the truth was, he deserves that, at least."
   As I said that, Lena buried her face in my shoulder, and I could feel
her angry tears soaking though my shirt.
   Lizzie nodded, fishing out a pen and address book from her purse.  As
she opened it, something fluttered out onto the ground.  I bent and picked
it up; a photograph of a boy and girl, about 8 and 12 respectively.
   I looked at it, strange emotions roiling in me; this was my brother and
sister, Marcus and Allie, Emma had said; she'd also said they looked like
Lena, and she was right; obviously dad had some pretty strong genetic
dominants to keep that hair, those eyes, and those features repeating
through the generations like that.  Lena got her hair from mum, but
everything else was pure dad.
   I went to hand it back to Lizzie, but Lena silently held out her hand
for it, and Lizzie nodded at me, so I handed it to her.  She looked for a
long moment, then wordlessly handed it back to me and buried her face in my
shoulder again.  I held her close as I wrote the number and the address,
her arm around my waist as I cradled her against me.
   Lizzie watched me closely, one eyebrow slightly raised as she put her
address book back in her purse, noting my hand stroking Lena's hair and my
lips almost kissing her as I whispered in her ear, soothing her after her
angry outburst.
   "Before I go, Darryl, can I ask you one thing?"
   I nodded, more concerned with how Lena was taking all this, and her
state after being so angry.  "Sure, go ahead, ask away!"
   "What did you do with your life, Darryl, did you go to university, did
you make some good choices?  I know it's impertinent, and I have no right
to ask, but I would like to know, please!"
   Lena looked at her, her gaze level even though her eyes were puffy from
crying.
   "My Darryl is a doctor, he's a Cardio-Vascular surgeon, at a good
hospital; he made some good choices, and we helped and supported him; us,
no-one else, just his family.  Does that answer your question?"
   Lizzie looked gratified.
   "A surgeon!  Robert would have been so proud of you, your grandfather
would have been too, you've done so well, I know dad is proud of you and
your...your mum, too, congratulations, I am so, so happy for you!"
   She seemed genuinely pleased, and was just standing up when Lena spoke
up.
   "What are they like?"
   Lizzie looked puzzled.  "What are who like, Lena?"
   "Marcus and Allie; what are they like, are they anything like you,
worse, better, what are they like?"
   Lizzie got a faraway expression on her face.
   "Marcus is like his father; serious, quiet, studious, easygoing.  Allie
is the complete opposite; she's loud, noisy, opinionated, single-minded,
and loads of fun!  Why did you want to know?"
   Lena looked away.
   "Much as I hate to admit any connection to you, you are my sister, and
they are my nephew and niece, I suppose, and I just wanted to know what the
missing part of my family is like; not you though, I think I know exactly
what you're like!"
   Lizzie looked at her admiringly.
   "You really take no prisoners, do you?  Listen, I am going to try and
apologise to my father, and maybe, in some small way, I can make it right
with him again, before it's too late.  That's all I can do, Lena, I have no
sword to fall on, no hair shirt in my closet, no bed of nails to lie on for
a penance, only my admission that I messed up badly; but not all of my life
was screwed-up; he has two beautiful grandchildren, I got that part right!
He should know about them, so he can see that for all my faults, at least I
got at two things dead right!  And now let me ask you a question; what did
you mean when you said 'my Darryl?"
   Lena looked at me; I nodded, so she answered her.
   "You already know, otherwise why ask; you just want to make me say it.
OK, here it is.  Darryl and I are together, why or how is none of your
business, but we love each other, and this is our life, here, together, in
this house that daddy gave us, a home for our child.  Darryl is going to be
a father, and we couldn't be happier.  Now go on, say something, I dare
you!"
   Lizzie grinned at her.
   "You are so much like Allie!  You'll like her, and she'll love you,
you'll get on like a house on fire!  I won't say anything to you about what
you're doing; there's 25 years of 'not my business' wrapped around this,
but I will wish you both all the best, and I would like to congratulate my
sister on her upcoming happy event; being a mother was the best thing that
ever happened to me, I just didn't know it when Darryl was born; it was
Allie's birth that showed me that.  It will be wonderful for you, too, I
promise!"
   She looked directly at Lena, a small smile on her face.
   "I would like to see you again, both of you, as your older sister only;
I don't want to come between Darryl and his mum, that's not my place, it
never was.  Maureen was a great mum, the best thing that ever happened to
him, I can see that, a much better mother than I could ever have been.  May
I come and see you again, sometime soon?  I know the kids would love to
meet both of you."
   I looked at Lena, who was looking away, chewing her lip, always a sign
she was undecided about something.  I gently pulled her aside to murmur in
her ear.
   "Lena, how bad could it be?  Let her do this, she didn't do anything to
you, if dad's not mad at her, maybe you shouldn't be either; and what have
those two kids done to you?  You saw them, they're gorgeous!"
   "I don't know, Dar, it seems so...disloyal..."she muttered, and I
grinned, understanding a little of what she was feeling.  I had an idea.
   "Baby, do you think that now, of all times, dad needs to know that his
children are at loggerheads, over what?  Something that happened so long
ago that it doesn't matter anymore?  Think, Baby, dad needs all of us to be
at peace, that's all he wants, and this isn't how to do it!"
   She looked daggers at me.
   "That was low and underhanded, how dare you even go there...!"
   I stopped her.
   "But true, nevertheless.  Let it go, baby, it doesn't matter to me, it
shouldn't matter to you, and truthfully, it doesn't matter at all.  Go on,
make an effort, let her in; who knows, you might even like her!"
   I could see her wavering, so slid in the trump card.
   "Don't you want to meet your nephew and niece?  You saw that picture,
didn't you?  He's the image of dad, how could you walk away from that?  Let
them all in baby, you know you want to!"
   She glared at me, then looked away, resting her head on my shoulder for
a second or two.
   "That obvious, huh?  You're right, she's done nothing to me, and I don't
think dad would like it if I got into a slanging-match with her over
ancient history!  Okay, you win!"
   I smiled to myself and patted her on her rump, making her grin at me,
and wink.  She kissed me lightly on the cheek, and whispered "And you're
right, they are gorgeous!" in my ear, before turning back to Lizzie.
   "I would love to meet the children, please bring them; or Darryl and I
could come and visit you.  What are you going to tell them about him? 
Won't they need to know he's their big brother?"
   Lizzie grinned.
   "It's going to be hard enough to explain who you are, let alone Darryl!
For now, he's your boyfriend; maybe he can be their Auntie Emma's long lost
nephew, seeing as he looks so much like her, and later, when they're older,
if you think they're ready, we can tell them the full story in any way that
seems best to you.  How does that sound?"
   Lena grinned, nodding.
   "Okay, works for me; bring on the family!"
   Lizzie grinned, and for just a second she looked like Lena when she was
about twelve, that little girl smile that got lost as she matured.  She
seemed unsure how to leave, still not sure if she should, or could hug
Lena, and as for me...
   I resolved that for her by hugging her.  There was nothing weird about
it for me; she wasn't my mother, that was mum, and she was thousands of
miles away.  No, this was just my girl's big sister as far as I was
concerned.  Lizzie looked startled for a second, then smiled and hugged me
back, patting me gently on the back, and whispering "Thank you, it's more
than I deserve!" in my ear.  Lena followed suit, clinching for a mere
second or so; she was still not quite ready to let Lizzie all the way in,
and Lizzie got that, if her smile was anything to go by.
   When Lizzie mentioned that she was anxious to get home so she could ring
dad, Lena suggested she call from here, which surprised me and definitely
caught Lizzie off-guard.  She looked at Lena as if unsure she'd heard her
right, and Lena handed her the 'phone with a small smile on her lips.
   "Darryl, Emma, let's go and have a coffee, I think Lizzie needs a little
privacy!"
   The three of us retreated to the Dining Room, making small talk as we
sat around the table with our coffees, mostly Emma telling me about her
brother, my biological father.  I was curious; a few weeks ago I'd never
heard of him, the man who'd contributed 50% of my genetic heritage, and
while I didn't consider him a parent in any way, shape or form, it was
interesting nevertheless to find out about a side of my family I'd never
encountered.
   While we chatted, the subject of his death, at such a tragically young
age, came up, and Emma asked if I would like to visit his memorial at Arnos
Vale.  I didn't see any harm in it, although Lena balked at first; I had to
explain to her that he'd done nothing wrong, he hadn't abandoned me, he
never had the chance to even see me, and perhaps this was one way to close
that book once and for all.  Lena agreed, bless her, and Emma offered to
take us, but without Lizzie in tow; she'd never been there, it was still
too painful, and always would be, and it would serve no purpose to open
that old wound again.
   Emma also told us about her two younger sisters, my aunts, and their
families.  One sister, Ellen, the youngest, lived in Australia with her
husband and three children, and the other sister, Lois, two years younger
than her.  She lived with her two children, Julie and Mark, somewhere in
South London, but Emma wasn't sure where, she'd been out of contact with
her for years.
   Emma herself had a son and a daughter, both at university; her son, Ian,
was studying Marine Biology at Plymouth, and her daughter, Shauna, had just
been accepted at City University, London, to study Mechanical Engineering.
She was obviously extremely proud of them, as was her husband, a chef at
the Royal Hotel, just a few yards from where Lena and I had dined the
previous night.
   As we were chatting, there was soft knock on the door, and I opened it
to see Lizzie, her eyes red and puffy, but she was smiling.
   "Dad asked me to come and see him, and to bring the kids; I said I
would, as soon as I could get the money together for the tickets.  He
sounds just the same, just like I remember, he was...it was..." she
faltered as a tear spilled down her cheek.  To my great surprise, it was
Lena who put her arm around her, and Lizzie began sobbing softly into her
shoulder.  I looked at Emma, who shrugged, as taken aback as I was; this
was a bit of a sea-change for Lena, given her earlier hostility, but I held
my tongue; maybe it was a good thing...
   The two of them sat together in the old twin-seat couch, Lena murmuring
something while Lizzie snuffled into her shoulder and whispered back, her
tears gradually easing-off as Lena whispered urgently in her ear. 
Eventually Lena handed Lizzie a tissue, and waited while she wiped her eyes
and blew her nose.  When she'd regained her composure, she smiled at Lena
and me, and nodded at Emma, who stood up.
   "We'll be going now, but I'll call you and we'll do that thing we
discussed, okay?"
   I nodded agreement, as did Lena, and Lizzie stood up to leave, then
stopped, smiling at Lena.
   "Lena, can I ask a favour of you?"
   Lena shrugged.  "Sure, what do you need?"
   Lizzie took her by the hand.
   "Come with me, please, there's something I have to do."
   As she led Lena from the room, I followed, ascending the stairs to the
second floor, where our old bedrooms were.  As Emma and I trailed behind,
she led Lena into her room, to the walk-in closet.
   "This used to be my room; I'm guessing it's your room now?" she asked,
Lena nodding in reply.  Lizzie walked into the far corner of the closet,
and knelt down, feeling around until her hand found something under the
loose carpet in there.  She pulled back the carpet and prised-up a small
section of floorboard underneath with her finger through a knot-hole, and
groped around inside the cavity there.  She pulled her hand out, dropped
the piece of board back into place and pushed the carpet back down before
standing up and dusting her hands against her jeans.  Lizzie held out her
hand to Lena, offering her a small tissue-wrapped packet.
   Lena looked at her quizzically, and Lizzie smiled.
   "Go on, take it, please, I want you to have it!"
   Lena took the little packet from her and carefully opened it, finding a
small gold St.  Christopher medal on a fine gold chain inside.  She looked
questioningly at Lizzie who smiled sadly.
   "Robbie gave it to me for the baby; his dad gave it to him, and he
wanted the baby to have something of his while he was away.  I want you
have it for your baby, a gift from both of us; I think Robbie would have
liked that."
   Lena looked at me.
   "Darryl...?" she asked, and I took the medallion from her, turning it
over to look at the back, seeing the initials 'RDF' engraved there.  I
looked enquiringly at Lizzie.
   "Robert Darryl Fraser, that was his full name," she said, sadly, "that's
where your name came from, I thought you should know..."
   Lena lifted up her hair, and I passed the chain around her neck, doing
up the clasp as she held her hair out of the way.  Lena smiled at Lizzie.
   "Thank you for this, I'll give it to the baby when she's old enough to
wear it safely, I promise; I'll tell her it's a gift from her grandfather!"
   Lizzie grinned at her.
   "She?  You can't know yet, surely!"
   Lena smiled back, winking at me.
   "I've decided I'm having a girl, I want a girl, so a girl it is!  Any
objections, mister?"
   I just grinned, knowing better than to stick my foot into THAT
particular bear-trap; Lena has a way of weighing you down with reasons why
she's right and you're not, and when she says something's so, then that's
the way it is, Full-Stop, Amen, The End.
   Lizzie laughed and took Lena's arm as they walked downstairs together,
the barriers between them finally down.  I'd been a little surprised at the
speed she'd changed, perhaps she'd tell me later, if she felt like talking
about it, what had brought this about.  At the door, they hugged one more
time, Emma promising to come back soon and take us to see Robert's memorial
at Arnos Vale, and Lizzie exchanging numbers with Lena so they could
arrange a time for us to meet those two adorable children.
   As we watched them drive away, Lena wound her arm through mine, her
fingers drumming gently on my upper arm.  I knew she was thinking about
something, but also that she'd talk to me when she was ready.  I closed the
door and led her back into the living room, pulling her down next to me on
the couch.  She pulled a cushion onto my lap and lay down with her head on
it, looking up at the ceiling, her eyes far away.  After a few minutes of
this I coughed to get her attention.
   "Baby, a penny for your thoughts!" I murmured, and she turned to me,
giving me her full attention.
   "Dar, we did the right thing, right?" she asked me, and I shrugged and
nodded.  There was one thing I wanted to clear up though...
   "Lena, that was a pretty quick attitude re-adjustment there, I thought
you were angry with her?"
   Lean looked up at the ceiling again, obviously gathering her thoughts.
   "When she first came in here, I had an almost overpowering urge to belt
her one, then kick her where it hurts!  After she told us the truth, and it
couldn't have been easy, I saw and understood how it might have been for
her; I think I'm strong-minded, but she's not me, she's Lizzie, and I
realised that I couldn't hold her up to my standards for myself because
she's not me.  Maybe being pregnant is making me less judgemental, or more
tolerant, I dunno, but I saw those kids, I saw daddy in them, I saw me in
them too, and suddenly I saw how much alike we were in other ways, how much
we have in common."
   She smiled at the ceiling.
   "You were right, you know; daddy wasn't mad at her, I had no right to be
either, and the few little suspicions I had lurking at the back of my mind
about why she was really here disappeared as she talked.  When she put me
in my place, I didn't know whether to smile or slap her, but I think that's
when I changed in how I thought of her; she really was a grown-up, and she
was acknowledging what she'd done; that was enough for me, there and then;
the rest was just pushing her to see what else she'd tell us!  After my
baby is born, I think it would be good for her to know her family, her
cousins, and he aunt; family is what's important now, that's what daddy
said, now I really know what he meant."
   I grinned at her.
   "So you're sure you're having a girl?  What if you're wrong, what if
it's a boy?"
   Lena reached up and poked me in the eye, grinning as she did so. 
"There's no 'wrong' here, it's still our baby, still my baby, and I love
her, or him, just as much.  Does that answer your question, Doctor
Smarty-pants?"
   I stroked her forehead, then her tummy, where our baby was nestled, Lena
still looking at the ceiling, her mind on something else.
   "Dar, I meant what I said, about taking her to daddy once she'd faced
me; fact is, I told her we would; she and the kids, I hope you don't mind;
her husband doesn't give her much, and she only works part time, and I want
daddy to see them before it's too late.  Are you angry?"
   "How could I be angry with the love of my life?" I grinned, "Say when
and we'll get it organised.  The kids should still be on their Summer
Holidays, so it better be soon."
   Lena sat up and kissed me.
   "Thank you Dar, thank you for understanding.  And now, take me upstairs,
I feel like being ravaged; you've rested, fed, and had a chance to get your
wind back, I want you to do things to me, in fact, I insist!"
   to be continued....
   pics---->> http://bit.ly/1QdQXsD 
  
BigGirlsDontCryCh03