Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 Title: All I Ever Wanted Ch.  03
Summary: Harry & his Asian Half-Sister - The Final Part,
Keywords: inc,fic
   Sai Fong Speaks:
   Waiting nearly 4 weeks to see Harry nearly had me climbing the walls. 
After the nights we'd spent in London, and the frustrating week that
darling Harry spent back home, I was ready to just do a disappearing act,
turn-up on his doorstep and scream "You want it, Big Boy, here it is, come
get it!"
   Common sense prevailed, and though dad, poor, dear deluded dad, had
given in on the Art School thing, he wasn't prepared to let me go just yet,
poor dear, and insisted that I spend this last summer at home with him.  I
had to go with it, insisting on heading down early was not a good idea, he
knew I didn't have to sort out digs or transport, so insisting on moving
down so far ahead of time would have started his copper-sense twitching,
the very last thing I wanted to happen.
   So I stayed on in Cosford, wanking furiously every chance I got, having
increasingly fevered dreams about Harry, his body, making love to me, and
pacing around my room crying for him, not that he'll ever find out, will
he? I said, WILL HE?  Good, you're learning.
   When Harry came to get me, I was in a right old state.  I could barely
contain myself, and all those barbs I'd thrown at him about the
'sticky-knicker brigade' came back to haunt me as I found myself oozing
almost constantly, excitement galloping around inside me, knowing that in a
few hours I was going to be crawling all over his lovely bod all over
again, but for a whole week!
   Trying to appear nonchalant when that lovely boy rolled up was the
hardest acting job of my life, no sense in falling at the last hurdle, not
when dad was sniffing around.  I had a selection of my clothes and stuff
already packed, the theory being that if I brought it down in stages, I
wouldn't have to get dad to bring it all down at once, actually letting him
into the flat, seeing the living arrangements weren't exactly the
conventional brother/sister setup.  Harry looked sideways at me and my, to
my mind, barely adequate, amount of luggage, and made comments about most
of my stuff, of course, including asking me how many feet I had when he had
to find a place in his car for 5 shoe bags, but eventually I was packed and
ready for the off.
   I dutifully kissed dad goodbye, watched him slip Harry some money for me
when he thought I wasn't looking, good, and yanked my knickers off while
dad and Harry were doing that whole, "Well son, harrumph, see you soon,
etc," thing that fathers do to avoid kissing their grown-up sons.
   As soon as we pulled away, I felt a weight off my chest.  I had him
back! OK, it was only for a week, but half a loaf is better than no bread
at all, and dad was at least being reasonable about this whole week away,
so definitely a win.  I felt a definite need to celebrate, soon, and
decided to give Harry a little of what he'd obviously been missing, if the
looks he'd been giving me behind dad's back were anything to go by!  As I
had no knickers on, I gave him a flash of the old fuzzy door, nearly making
the poor boy crash as he jumped and fixed his eyes firmly on the road,
although I did notice a nice lump straining at his zipper; good boy!
   They do say that letting the dog see the rabbit makes the chase more
interesting, so I kept hiking my skirt up, just to see what it would take
for him to tell me to stop, or find a turn-off, locate a quiet lane
somewhere, and just give me a good seeing-to.  Dirty little beast never
said a word, just kept flicking glances at it and sweating!  I only stopped
when I realised I was giving all the passing trucks an eyeful, and the word
was getting around, judging by the line of suspiciously fast trucks and
lorries in the near-side lane, racing to get an eyeful!
   When we arrived back at the flat, which luckily isn't too far off the
West Way, I let poor, lovely Harry talk me out of helping him lug it all up
three flights of stairs.  Sweet boy, he's such a gentleman, he'd never
consider letting me carry a wet handkerchief, let alone the negligible
amount of stuff I had, so I let him do it.  This is one of the reasons he
needs me; any other girl would take endless advantage of his nature because
they'd twig he's a natural gentleman, whereas I take advantage of him
because he's mine and I'm allowed to, so I save-up and treasure the times
when I can - a privilege I don't intend to abuse.
   If any other girl tried on him what I do, I would Hong-Kong Phooey her
arse for taking advantage of my baby.  There are two kinds of wrath, God's
and mine.  Better to take the wrath of God; at least he forgives.  Anyone
screws with my boy and I will seriously visit them with mayhem and pain
a-plenty.
   Once we were unloaded, Harry lying there on the lounge carpet pretending
to gasp and wheeze, face deliberately red and sweaty, hoping for some
sympathy, I enticed him into the bedroom by posing bare-arse naked and
smiling invitingly, all the fatigue magically evaporated as he levitated
upright and went to work on me, just as I had hoped he would.  Harry is a
gentle and considerate lover, manly and gorgeous, and I'd been seriously
missing what he had so much of, so we'll gloss over the next bit, you know
what comes next.  Suffice it to say, I saw God that day!  Now comes the
hard part; I have to go home again in 6 days, and I'm already feeling
separation anxiety; this is my home now, with my man, not half-way across
the country, and I don't know how I'm supposed to manage even the few weeks
'til I'm back down for good.  Harry says I have to bite my lip and tough it
out, it's hard on him as well, it's been hard on him all along, but he
didn't explode, he didn't keel over with a coronary, so I'm in no danger of
anything except possibly giving us away.  Sobering thought.
   +++
Harry:
On the Monday I came back from college expecting to find Sai deep in
contemplation of one of her art books, with plans to take her out somewhere
romantic for dinner, but she was dressed in a killer sparkly black
minidress, teetering heels and glossy sheer stockings.  She was an
eye-opener, no doubt about that, and while I was drinking her all in, I was
wondering what this was in aid of.
   "Harry, we're young, we're in London, we're going clubbing.  Get
dressed, I want to show you off a little!"
   So saying, she pointed out what she wanted me to wear, already picked
out and pressed, and I acquiesced, going with the flow, because the
alternative was too painful, and too loud, to contemplate.
   Sai wanted to go to Boujis, a hot, exclusive club in central Mayfair. 
"Uh, Sai, that's a member's only, 21 and over club, you can't get in, and
bruisingly expensive -- you'd better have a trust fund, because they'll
want to count it before they'll let us in." I reminded her
   Sai just grinned.  "Harry, I know everyone, and so do you, you just
don't use them enough!  I made a call, we're on the list, and we're being
comp'd as well, courtesy of your old school friends who actually run the
place.  Honestly, Harry, don't you ever keep-up with anyone?"
   The club was small, hot and expensive.  Sai was in her element, spotting
some girls she'd attended the Feather's Ball with last year, as well as
celebs and a sprinkling of the rich and shameless, and spent a great deal
of time popping shots, exchanging phone numbers with old acquaintances and
dancing around me while I tried to figure out what she was doing.  A few
guys tried to pick her up, but the bouncers headed them off before I had
to, and the girls they were with laid into them anyway, so we got to grin
at the free floorshows.
   Sai Fong obviously wanted to boogie, so I resigned myself to a night of
watching her, although, in that dress, she was definitely worth the watch!
Several other guys also thought so, and she usually got whistles and
applause when she stepped off the dance floor, although she made a point of
flopping in my lap and kissing me soundly every so often, just so no-one
got any ideas, and probably because she was half-cut...
   We left at 3 am, found a kebab place and topped up on gristle and MSG
before driving back to the flat.  I'd been up 20 hours now, and I had to be
back at uni for 11 am, so I was looking forward to some rest and sleep; Sai
Fong had other ideas, stripping off for me to tiny little panties, those
sexy sheer stockings and stiletto heels.  All thoughts of sleep disappeared
as my libido went kerchinngg!  Naturally, I moved in for the kill, thinking
"Yup, that'll do nicely!"
   Sai wasn't drunk, just nicely lit-up, and she made a production of
posing for me in her 'come and fuck me' get-up, so I grabbed her, kissing
and fondling her, nibbling her nipples and squeezing and jiggling her
bum-cheeks, kissing passionately as she fumbled with my belt-buckle,
helping me strip off to my shorts without breaking lip-lock.  She kissed me
thoroughly, rubbing her panty-clad mons against my cock, her breathing
becoming fast and shallow as she worked herself up, frotting herself while
still kissing and fondling me.
   At last she stepped back, smiling, and knelt down, taking hold of the
sides of my shorts and sliding them down freeing my tortured cock, allowing
it to spring into view, harder than it had ever been before.  I have said
before, I don't have a mega-dick, but I like to think I'm not exactly
under-endowed, either, and all 7 inches were there, on full stretch, for
Sai to do with as she pleased.  She chose to slide her lips over the end,
licking over the tip and behind the head, exquisite sensation as she sucked
at the same time, making me gasp in pleasure as the pressure dropped,
making my head swell even further, squeezing and pumping her hand slowly in
time to her sucking.  Much as I enjoyed this, I wanted her to stop; I
wanted to pleasure her, hold her tight to me as I entered her, not stand
and pump into her mouth.
   She looked at me in surprise, hurt flitting across her face, so I pulled
her to her feet, kissing her longingly as I did."Princess, I want to make
love to you, all of you, not just like this!" and was rewarded with her
sunny grin as she caught my meaning.
   Piloting her to the bedroom, I peeled down her hot, sexy little panties
and pulled her onto the bed, hands automatically reaching for her lovely
taut bum, pulling her in to me, trapping my cock between us as we kissed.
   "So Harry, did you have a good time?" she cooed, batting her eyelids at
me, grinning as she wriggled against me, hand snaking down to grab my cock
and fondle it, pumping gently as she licked and nibbled my lips.  I
responded by gently rolling her onto her back and licking her nipples,
biting and sucking them into full hardness, making them stand up and thrum,
a flush rising on her face and throat as her excitement grew.
   I made to move down, and Sai stopped me, instead kneeling up and pushing
me over onto my back, and straddling me, facing down the bed, head dipping
down to slide her lips over my cock again as I pulled her closer and licked
her labia as her vulva was thrust into my face, pointing the tip of my
tongue in her velvety little anus, making her jump and quiver, and lapping
up and down her lips.  Her hard little clitoris slid into view, dewing
rapidly with her secretions as I licked and lapped harder, the labia
flowering open to expose her tight vagina.  I pushed my tongue inside her,
making her groan and push back against my face, rubbing her clitoris harder
with my tongue, licking her labia and anus, lubricating them both with her
juices, and slowly sliding my forefinger in past her rosebud, up to the
second knuckle, then bending my finger and pumping it in time to my tongue
thrusts into her pussy.
   Sai squealed around my cock, the vibration thrilling and hot, making my
cock jump, then began really suctioning, swallowing my cock deeper and
deeper, taking more and more of me into her.  Her pussy was lubricating
freely now, her juices running down into my mouth, the taste strong and
tangy, salty, fresh and enticing, and I lapped harder still, concentrating
on her clitoris, feeling the little bud thrum and twitch as her excitement
rose, until finally she clamped her lips over my cock and sucked hard,
pumping me as hard as she could, squeezing my shaft as her vagina
convulsed, her little anus winking as it fluttered in sync with her vagina,
her orgasm rolling through her, making her buck and convulse, groaning
around the head of my cock.  I couldn't hold back as the vibration of her
mouth set me off, and I shot into her mouth, long, satisfying ejaculations
of sperm flooding her mouth as my hips bucked and my back arched, straining
to empty even more of myself into her hot, wildly sucking mouth.
   At last she slumped down, resting her head on my thigh, still holding
onto my cock as I fell back, heart thundering from my orgasm.  Eventually
she stirred, lifting herself up
   to slip her leg back over me and drop back to the pillow, turning and
hugging me into herself, tucking her head into my neck and kissing my
throat as she pulled me in closer.
   "So Harry, is that the big show, or do you have a grand finale for me?"
she grinned slyly, hand rubbing and fondling my flaccid cock.  I cocked an
eyebrow at her.
   "Princess, either you think I'm something other than human, or all that
internet porn has ruined you for the real world!" I croaked.  "When I'm
ready, I'll be more than happy to play a second round, right now, I have to
recover, give me ten, OK?" Sai nodded, "Ten, then I'm coming for you, be
ready!"
   I lay there, savouring the afterglow, watching Sai Fong, her long slim
legs still encased in those sexy sheer stockings, the black lace hold-up
tops contrasting sharply with the creamy skin of her supple thighs, her
perfect rear end.  I reached out and slid my hand over her thigh and
buttock, experiencing the thrill of the slippery sheer fabric of her
stockings against her warm smooth skin.
   "Hello Harry, boy!" she murmured, smiling slowly at me, reaching up to
cup my chin and kissing me softly, and I returned the favour, brushing her
hair back so I could feel its texture, see her lovely almond eyes better.
The feel of her, and her sexy kisses, was making me hard again, my urgency
rising the more I looked at and kissed and fondled this beautiful creature,
my sister.
   I pulled her in close to me, sliding an arm under her to roll onto my
back, rolling her on top of me, her legs on either side.
   "Hello Sai Fong, I'm going to kiss you some more" I murmured to her,
pulling her up close to me by her lovely firm bum cheeks, slipping my
tongue into her mouth as my hands squeezed, kneaded and separated her taut
little buttocks, pulling them open and closed to coincide with the motions
of my tongue in her mouth.  Sai Fong opened her eyes and pulled away to
smile lazily at me.
   "You dirty little beast, I know what you're hinting at.  We'll see
lover-boy!" With that, she wriggled until her pussy was right above my
cock, lying as it was along my stomach between us, and rose up slightly,
releasing it to rise up enough for her purposes.  She reached back and
guided me into her, my cockhead suddenly engulfed in warm wet succulence,
hearing Sai's soft gasp of pleasure as she sank onto me.  She lay still for
a second or two, savouring the sensation of being penetrated again, then
kissed me long and seriously before levering herself upright and, with her
hands resting on my chest, began to rise and fall rhythmically, pumping
herself on me as I fondled and squeezed her cute peach-half breasts,
nipples hard and rubbery, like two little thumbs.
   I pulled and rolled her nipples between my fingers, making her gasp and
cover my hands with hers, forcing my hands harder against her breasts,
obviously enjoying the sensation as she mauled her nipples with my hands,
her eyes tight closed and her bottom lip caught between her teeth as she
went to her own place.  Her rhythm increased as she became more aroused,
her stimulation of her nipples obviously helping her along, her motions
more pronounced as she rode me harder, her neck and upper chest flushing as
she approached her orgasm.
   Suddenly, her eyes snapped open and she gave a low gasping moan, and her
vagina tightened convulsively around me, exquisite sensation upon sensation
as she rode me even harder, grinding herself on me, her vagina sucking and
rippling around me as she came in a long series of shattering orgasms, her
breath gasping and hissing as each wave hit her.  She slumped down on me,
her heart hammering against me, her eyes screwed shut, tears leaking from
the corners, her chest heaving with the force of her climax.
   I had managed to keep control of myself, much as I wanted to surrender
to the sensations she was giving me, and had remained hard inside her,
waiting for her to ease up.  Eventually she opened her eyes, smiling at me
and indicating she wanted to lie back down.  I rolled over, still buried in
her, and began to pump my cock into her, sliding my arms under the small of
her back to push her nipples up so I could suckle them as I pumped her. 
Sai held my head in place as I slowly pumped into her, smiling and
murmuring as I licked, sucked and nibbled her nipples, and began to move
under me, pushing her hips up to meet my thrusts, matching me stroke for
stroke, her breath hissing each time I pumped into her.  I could only last
so long, stimulated as I was, and the sight of my beautiful, exotic sister
humping herself against me, her nipples dancing tantalisingly in front of
me was too much.  I gave a deep groan as I felt my cock twitch, and Sai
moaned as my head swelled, pumping jet after jet of spunk pumped out of me
and into her body, splashing into her most intimate place, the sensation
for me almost unbelievable.
   Sai gave a hissing groan, and I felt her pussy contract around me again
as she climaxed again, the rippling, sucking sensation drawing every last
drop of semen from me, my cock dry-convulsing inside her.
   At last I was spent, and I withdrew, to lie next to her, heart hammering
with the after-effects of my own climax, muscles quivering in stress
reaction, feeling Sai Fong's warm little hand on my chest as she turned to
me and burrowed down against me, holding me against her, with my own arm
going around her to lock her against me.  Sai rested her head in the crook
of my neck, kissed me gently on the neck and whispered "I love you, Harry,
always!"
   "I love you too, Princess," I replied, "sleep tight, baby-girl!" as I
pulled the covers up around us, kissing her goodnight and stroking her soft
hair, always a pleasure for me.
   I woke with a start, checked my watch, almost 9am, not bad, nearly 5
hours sleep, I'd gotten by on a lot less before, and today was going to be
a short day, because of the way my work was going, so not too much stress.
Hopefully I'd be home before 5, and I could look forward to a long evening
with Sai Fong.  Speaking of which...
   She was still fast asleep, stretched out with the covers thrown back,
and the sight of her fast asleep, her perfect long legs still encased in
their miraculously intact stockings, her hair spread out over the pillow,
her creamy complexion, was one of the most erotic sights I'd ever seen, all
the more so for being perfectly natural and unconscious.  I felt a rush of
love and protectiveness for my beautiful, exotic, wildly sexy sister, as
well as more decidedly impure thoughts as I looked on the tableau spread
before me!
   However, work was waiting, so I regretfully got out of bed; much as I
would have liked to wake her and play some more, I had to be in Kensington
in less than 2 hours, so all thoughts of fun and games had to be shelved.
For now, anyway.
   I ran a shower, shaved and dried off, and came out to find Sai wrapped
in my bathrobe frying bacon and eggs, and a cup of coffee steaming on the
table.  Once again, I was puzzled at how she managed it; at home, as far as
she was concerned, early-mornings only happened to other people, and she
and dad had had some classic battles over her habit of getting up at the
last minute and charging off to school with her disgusting standard
breakfast in one hand and her school bag in the other.  Still, never one to
look a gift horse in the mouth, I gratefully accepted the breakfast she'd
made for me, chatting as she joined me, thankfully only wanting some
coffee, knowing how watching her eat those things made my stomach roil. 
When I left, Sai kissed me out the door, and pulled open her robe to flash
her nakedness, grinning widely as she did so, and snapping it shut when I
reached out for a friendly feel!
   When I got home that afternoon, Sai was nowhere in sight, and I felt a
distinct sense of anti-climax.  I'd been unconsciously counting on a
replay, or at least a reprise of last night when I got home, the image of
her naked, asleep in just stockings playing on my mind all day, intruding
on me at odd moments.  In just the short time she'd been here she'd filled
a great gaping need I didn't know I had, and the experience of her being
there when I came in, bouncing up to kiss me and tell me about her day was
something I treasured.  Now my day felt curiously flat without her being
there.  I mooched around for a while, being morose, resisting the urge to
call her, telling myself that she wasn't handcuffed to me, not believing
myself for one second, worrying about her, feeling incredibly lonely, the
whole place echoing with her absence.  I hadn't realised just what a
difference she'd made to me, or just how much I needed her, until she was
gone, even for such a short while.  At last I gave in, and was just about
to call her when I heard her come in, running up the stairs, breathlessly
kissing me, hard, dropping the carrier bags she was holding to wrap her
legs around me as she kissed me with serious intent.
   Eventually I had to break off, I needed air!  Sai was still frantically
kissing me all over my face, my lips, wrapping her hands in my hair, like
we'd been parted for months instead of only 5 hours or so.  At last she let
go of me and dropped down to the couch, grinning cheekily, her weight
pulling me down next to her.  She was wearing fairly modest shorts and
flats, and a loose top, but anything she wore looked like an invitation to
rip it off her; she looked very fetching, and believe me, I was fetched!
   "Oh God, Harry, it's been so quiet and lonely without you here, I was
nearly climbing the walls --it felt like you were gone for weeks!  After a
couple of hours, I couldn't stand it anymore, so I thought I'd get some
supplies in, keep me occupied for a while.  I bought steak, pork, chicken
and shrimp, so we can have a nice home-cooked dinner tonight, what say
you?"
   After that reception, the last thing I wanted was dinner, I swear!  My
erection was painfully constricted in my shorts, the bulge all too obvious,
something she spotted immediately.
   "Oh Harry, how sweet, you brought me something!" she grinned, scooting
on top of me and sitting astride, wrapping her arms around my neck as she
kissed me, grinding her crotch into me, making me groan with need and
high-octane horniness.  I slid my hands up into her shorts, feeling the
firm swell of her lovely little bum, the thin strap of the thong she had on
underneath, and the warmth emanating from her pussy, making my head swim
with my need for her.
   My cock firmed-up even more, my groin feeling like it was being squeezed
in a vice as Harry jr.  struggled manfully to escape.  I moved my hands
from groping her bum to try and lift her top, and she laced her fingers in
mine, trapping my hands in hers.  She could see the strain on my face, and
ground herself on me even harder, a sly smile on her lips as she wriggled
and ground against me, exquisite agony and unrequited lust obviously
written all over my face.
   "Like that, do you, Baby?" she taunted me, darting in to kiss me quickly
and jerking back before I could kiss her back, grinning at my inability to
grab and hold her close because she'd trapped my hands.  Sai continued to
gyrate on me, her face flushing as she worked herself up, her wriggling and
grinding on me now more rhythmic, more directed.  I gave up and began
grinding back at her, her eyes widening and her grin becoming even more
pronounced.
   "I knew you'd like it, babe, what are you going to do about it now?" she
panted, looking into my eyes as if daring me.  I took advantage of her
momentary distraction to slide my hands free and wrap my arms around her
waist, pulling her in tight to me, Sai leaning down to kiss me hotly, no
mistaking what she wanted to do next.
   I slid her round to one side so I could stand up, taking her hand and
pulling her up next to me, kissing her deeply as I groped and massaged her
bum through her shorts.
   "Come on, boy, time's a-wasting!" she giggled, darting into the bedroom,
with me in hot pursuit.
   We stripped in double-quick time, Sai standing before me in just her
thong as I tugged my shirt over my head and dropped my trousers, levering
off my shoes and sitting on the bed to yank off my socks.  Sai slid onto
the bed and straddled me again, kissing me softly before suddenly pushing
me over backwards to land flat on the bed.  She jumped up and in one move
pulled my shorts off, blessed relief as my little man escaped and jumped
upright.
   Sai grinned at me, finger on her lip as she inspected my condition, then
said "Hmm, you'll do, how good are you with that thing?"
   "Cammere!" was my response, grabbing her as she shrieked with laughter,
me pulling off her thong to rub her sopping pussy and slip a finger inside.
Immediately she stopped giggling, instead sighing and kissing me as I slid
first one then two fingers inside her, rubbing her wet flesh and flicking
her hardening clit.  She reached for me, holding and squeezing my hardness,
slowly pumping in time to my frigging, her lips and tongue working wonders
on mine, pushing up my stimulation ever higher.
   My need for her was now too great.  I urged her onto the bed next to me,
leaning over to suck and nibble her taut nipples as I resumed frigging her,
she sighing and whispering to me as her own excitement rose, the tang of it
surrounding me, egging me on, working all kinds of magic on me.
   At last Sai pulled me up to her, kissing me and holding my cock, her
eyes telling me what she wanted.  I positioned myself between her thighs,
Sai holding and aiming my cock, and when she smiled and nodded, I slowly
pushed forward, sliding into her as she groaned with pleasure.  Her hips
rose up to meet mine, and we pumped and plunged at each other for who knows
how long, Sai somehow sensing when I was getting close, and backing off, me
feeling the almost constant rippling and sucking of her vagina as wave
after wave of orgasm rolled though her.  I kept backed-down for as long as
I could, but the combination of the sensations I was feeling, the erotic
charge of knowing this beautiful, exotic, girl loved me, and that she was
my own sister, was just too much, and I felt my cock give a lurch inside
her, Sai feeling it as well, and sprayed her insides with my spunk, coating
her vagina with my seed as she climaxed with me, both of us sobbing and
groaning with the intensity of our release.  I pumped what felt like
gallons of spunk into her, the force of my ejaculation almost painful as my
body gave itself up to her.  Seven or eight powerful spurts of semen
rocketed out of me, draining me, leaving me feeling nothing but love for
this lovely girl, and a deep wonder and pride that she was mine, had given
herself to me so completely.
   I slumped back down on top of her, keeping my weight off her as I rolled
on to my side, kissing her face, her eyes, her neck and throat, seeing her
properly without the twin filters of lust or need, consumed with the
realisation that she was the one, the only one I would ever need or want,
and that I would never let her go again.
   Sai gently stroked my face with her soft fingertips, once again tracing
out the contours of my features, smiling distractedly, the old familiarity
of it bonding us closer, reminding me of the girl I had promised to love
and protect all those years ago, and marvelling again that she should love
me so much.
   At the same time, I realised I had made a decision, somewhere down so
deep I never knew I was even contemplating it, but now I knew, and I needed
to tell her, gauge her reaction.
   "Sai, I'm going to tell him, take my chances.  I don't want to keep
sneaking around; it feels like I'm ashamed of loving you, like it's
something dirty and shameful, and I won't do that, to you or to us.  I love
you more than I can possibly say, and I want to be free to love you, openly
and freely."
   Sai looked at me gravely, then smiled and kissed me quickly,
affectionately, pulling herself up so she could hug me, pressing her cheek
against mine.
   "Harry, are you absolutely sure you want to do this?  Because I do
understand what this will mean to our family, and I don't want you doing
something because you feel pressured into it, not because you really want
to do it.  Whatever you decide is fine by me, honestly, you'll always have
me, no matter what, and you know that.  I meant it when I said that all I
ever see for me is you, my future is your future, if you'll still have me.
You gave me your ring, and promised yourself to me, and I gave you that
same promise.  We're 'troth-plighted!'" She smiled at the old-fashioned
phrase.
   "Nothing's changed, darling Harry, I promise you.  We'll do this, and
let what happens, happen, OK?"
   I felt giddy at the emotional charge that ran through me as I heard what
she was saying.  Her trust in me shook me, but also strengthened my
resolve, knowing that we were in complete agreement.  The time for doubt
and hesitation over our relationship had passed, and we were strong enough
together to get past this and make our future together.
   I gathered her into me, hugging her close, feeling her human warmth as I
gave thanks to whatever kindly gods there are that she was mine.  She
turned her head to look at me, and I saw the tears on her cheeks, reached
out to wipe them away with my thumb.
   "Dad's going to be so very hurt, Harry.  I want so badly to be with you,
and I'm ready to be with you forever, want nothing but that, but I know
I'll be hurting him, maybe enough that he turns away from me forever.  That
means I'll have no-one except you.  Will you promise me, really promise me
you'll be as strong as I need you to be, be the family I'll need if the
worst happens?"
   I was shocked to hear Sai put it so bluntly, but perhaps she needed me
to be explicit this time.  "Sai Fong, I asked you to marry me, to be with
me and stay with me forever, as I fully intend and pledged to do for you. I
will always be the one thing in your life you can count on, over and above
everything else.  I want you to be my wife, have my children, get old and
crabby with me, and have a perfect life together with me!"
   She smiled at that, reassured, and reached out to cup my chin as she
kissed me softly on the lips.  "Done!" she smiled.
   We lay in each other's arms for a while longer, enjoying the sight and
feel of each other, gently stroking and kissing, not trying to arouse,
renewing connection, until at last hunger drove us to find something to
eat. Dinner was a revelation, Sai cooking the perfect 'Surf & Turf', medium
steaks on a bed of sautéed shrimp, with green salad and French fries, honey
mustard dressing, and tangy, pungent aioli.  I was in raptures, I was
marrying a gourmet chef as well as a sex-bomb, my life just kept getting
better!
   After we'd cleared away, we settled back to watch some TV, make out and
celebrate our decision.  We were in the middle of some fairly heavy-duty
groping when the phone rang.  Sai answered it, her eyes widening as she
listened, then silently handed the handset to me.  It was dad.
   "Harry, Son, I need you to come home." He sounded strained, unnaturally
calm.  "It's mum, Harry, she passed away this evening, please come back,
bring Sai Fong home, Grandpa and I, we need you both here right now...."
   I didn't know what to say.  True, for the last few years I'd been so
very angry with her, for her unrelenting hostility toward Sai, but when all
was said and done, she was also the only mother I'd ever known.  I tried to
keep my voice steady when I answered him, a huge lump rising in my throat,
loss already trying to overwhelm me.
   "OK dad, we're on our way, see you tonight" I managed to choke out, and
then the tears started.  Sai stared at me wide eyed, taking the handset and
saying a few words to dad, then hanging up, and hugging me close as I cried
for my Gran, my mum.
   Eventually, my grief backed down somewhat, Sai Fong rocking me as she
held me close, waiting for me to calm down as she soothed me.  When I could
speak coherently, she began taking charge of our preparations to leave,
lugging down a flight bag and throwing some clothes in it for me, and
bagging-up my black suit and tie.  She decided I was in no fit state to
drive all the way back to Shropshire, so demanded my keys, locked up and
led me down to the car.  I came out of it enough to ask her where her
clothes were, and she reminded me that most of her clothes were still at
home, including a more decent and suitable black dress for what was about
to come.  At first she kept up a flow of light chatter as she negotiated
the A40M, keeping me from brooding, helping me keep my sorrow in abeyance,
and then, perhaps sensing that I wasn't really in the right frame of mind
for conversation, tailed off, concentrating on driving fast but safely,
sending my faithful old Cherokee loping down the motorway for home.
   We went to the old house in Bilbrook, dad and Grandpa waiting for us,
looking lost, stunned, uncomprehending, a couple of the neighbourhood
ladies making tea and bringing cakes and biscuits.  I saw dad's expression,
and immediately burst into tears, dad hugging me as Sai hugged her
grandfather, awkwardly, formally.  There had never been any love lost
between Gran and Sai, but Grandpa at least had never been openly hostile,
although he'd never actually made any overtures to Sai either.
   Dad let go of me, and took Sai from Grandpa, and I hugged him, tears
streaming down my face as I remembered him and Gran being the centre of my
world when I was growing up.  I suddenly looked at him in consternation. 
What was he going to do now?  He and Gran had been together damn near 60
years, who'd look after him now; he was nearly 85, too old to be left on
his own so abruptly.
   My worries about Grandpa drove my grief down, and I nodded to dad,
indicating I wanted to speak privately with him in the dining room.
   "Dad, what happens to Grandpa now?  He can't live here alone, not now."
   Dad nodded.  "I know son, most likely he'll come and stay with me, let
this old place go.  I want him to, we'll be company for each other, two old
geezers together!" he smiled distractedly.  "The house is too big, too
lonely with both of you gone, so it will be good to have some company
around, we'll be OK together.  Besides, you have your own problems; don't
forget, you've got Sai Fong now, you have to take care of her."
   I shot a quick glance at him.  Did he know, or was he just talking in
general?  Sai was waiting in the lounge, the police and ambulance teams had
long gone, and now we had to wait for the post-mortem before we could bury
Gran.  My eyes started stinging again as I tried to get past the fact of
her death, and suddenly Sai was there, hugging me around the waist, rubbing
the small of my back, and I unconsciously held her close, burying my face
in her hair, kissing it, caressing her neck and back.  When I looked up,
Grandpa was looking at me oddly, then he smiled slightly, knowingly, and
turned away.  Realisation suddenly struck.  He knew, he knew!  After all my
lectures to Sai about appropriate behaviour, I'd given us away!  Oh God,
what if he says something to dad, he'd got enough on his late without this
as well.  Sai felt me stiffen.
   "Harry, what is it, what's wrong?"
   "Sai, Grandpa knows, I just gave us away, he saw me hugging you, kissing
you just now, right there in front of everybody!" I was too wrung out to
try and make it right with him, but Sai took it out of my hands.  She
followed Grandpa out to the patio, where he was sitting in the same garden
chair he used to sit on with me on his lap, reading 'The House at Pooh
Corner' and other Pooh stories to me when I was small.  I stood in the
doorway, out of sight, but within earshot.
   "Grandpa, can I talk to you?" said Sai, kneeling down next to him and
looking up at him.  "Of course you can," said Grandpa, "what's on your
mind?
   "Grandpa, what you saw, in there, Harry and I, we...I..." Grandpa
stopped her short with a gentle finger on her lips.  "Sshhh, it's all
right, Sai Fong, you don't have to explain anything to me.  Does he love
you?"
   Sai nodded mutely.  "And do you love him?" he continued, Sai nodding
again.  "Then there's nothing more to be said.  Your grandmother had far
too much to say, and she drove you away, and Harry too, but I still loved
her so very, very much.  If you two can have half as much as we had, then
you'll be lucky indeed.  Take what love you can, while you can, there's not
too much of it in the world these days, so get while the getting's good!"
He grinned wistfully as he popped his trademark phrase at her, and held her
while she cried softly against him, understanding that she'd finally got
through to her grandfather, Grandpa holding her close, properly, for the
very first time.  He seemed at a loss what to do at first, finally stroking
her hair and murmuring to her, resting his head against hers and making
little soothing noises as though she was a little child.
   I walked up and hunkered down in front of Grandpa, just as I used to
when I was small and had an especially splendid frog to show him, and he
reached out and ruffled my hair, just as he used to way back then.
   "Take good care of her, Harry-boy," he said, "she's more special than
you know, so treat her right -- or I'll come and get you!" he grinned, his
favourite threat when he played catch with me in the meadow all those
summers ago.  I took his hand and squeezed it, all my love for this man who
had brought me up coming to the fore, silently thanking him for finally
accepting his granddaughter, for his understanding, then standing up and
taking Sai's hand.  Grandpa glanced at her engagement ring as she took my
hand.  "Just a tip, both of you; don't let your father see that just yet.
Lead him up to what you have to tell him, and be gentle with him, give him
some time to deal with all of this first.  I twigged as soon as I saw that
ring, don't let him catch on the same way, trust your dad, but be honest
with him.  And Harry, trust your instincts, you have some good ones." Sai
nodded, slipping off her ring and swapping it to her other hand, where it
wouldn't be construed as an engagement ring.
   I cleared my throat.  "Grandpa, are you...sure you're OK with this?  Sai
and I have been in love for a long time now, and it's only now that I've
been able to admit it, even to myself.  I won't let her go now; she's the
most important thing in my life."
   Grandpa stirred, looked at me with the old 'don't try it on me, sonny'
look.  "Are you asking for my blessing?  It's not mine you need.  For what
it's worth, I think both of you could do a whole lot worse.  Harry-boy,
I've known about how you feel about Sai Fong as long as you've known her,
the moment you chose Sai over your grandmother, I knew, I do have eyes and
a brain, you know!  I won't judge you, I can't, 85 has a way of forgetting
what 20 feels like, so you both go and enjoy yourselves, have the best life
you can, just don't forget to love each other along the way!  I forgot how
to do that, let someone else tell me who to love, and I hurt that sweet
little girl all these years, and I'm sorry for that.  Perhaps she'll have
time to forgive me once all this is over and done with."
   Sai leaned in and hugged him again, brushing his cheek with her lips,
her way of telling him it was over now, no forgiveness needed.  Grandpa
twinkled at her, chucked her gently under the chin, and turned away to dab
at his eyes.
   We left him sitting in his old chair, staring across the meadow towards
the old pond, smiling as he looked back over 60 years.  When we came back
into the sitting room dad was waiting for us.
   "Look Harry, there's nothing more to be done now, we can't have the
funeral until the Coroner has the pathologist's report, all that we can do
is being done, and a funeral home from Wolverhampton is dealing with the
interment.  It won't be soon, because mum wasn't under the care of a
doctor, so passing away suddenly like that means a post-mortem.  She had a
plot at St.  Michael's in Upton Cresset, it's where she was baptised and
married, so everything's in place now.  Why don't you two go home, I'll
stay with dad tonight, and you can make an early start back tomorrow?  Sai,
stay with Harry for now, I really don't want you in the middle of all this,
so please just make yourself scarce, OK?  Time enough to mourn later, I
just want to get dad through this first."
   Unseen by dad, Sai twined her fingers in mine, comforting me in the face
of all the preparations for the funeral.  I was grateful to dad; I really
needed to get out of there.  The sense of Gran's presence was everywhere,
her life imprinted in the house, all her familiar things waiting for her,
and it was extremely unsettling for me to realise that they were all just
things now; she would never dust them or polish them, or straighten them up
ever again.  Sai saw the look on my face, my eyes filling up again, and
almost tugged me out of there, leaving dad to go and sit with his father
and try and get past the first shock of their loss.
   We drove the 9 miles back to Cosford in silence, too much to say and no
way to say it.  Arriving back at the house was strange, I'd only picked Sai
Fong up a few days ago, but it already seemed like an impossibly long time
ago.  I was too emotionally wrung to eat anything, so Sai tipped a frozen
pizza in the oven and pulled me down to her, holding me close and being
warm and human, two things she excelled at.
   We sat there in silence for ages, me lost in my memories, of Gran
helping me with my homework, playing toy soldiers with me while Grandpa
weeded his beloved onion-beds, helping her change the bedding, reading 'The
Wind in The Willows' to me at night, putting me in bed with her when
thunderstorms banged and rattled the house, making me hot soup when I came
in from building snowmen and making snow-angels with Grandpa.  Now the
tears came again, Sai holding me close and letting me cry, until I fell
asleep, worn out and emotionally battered.
   I woke when Sai kissed me gently.  "Bedtime, Harry, come on, upsy-daisy
Big Boy, up the wooden hill, come on, that's right!" I cocked a bleary eye
at her.  "I am not 4 years old, Sai; please don't talk to me like I am!"
   Sai grinned, and stuck her tongue out.  "If you're awake, have something
to eat.  If you're dead-beat, go to bed.  Don't snooze on the couch, it
makes you snore, and I'm trying to watch television, I can't hear for you
snoring, you sound like a bag of spanners in a washing machine!"
   I could smell something delicious, and spotted half a pizza in a box. 
"I thought you heated one up?" I said.
   "I did, it was disgusting, so I ordered-in.  That noise you can hear is
all the local vermin gagging on that repulsive thing I threw away, even the
house rats are all doing a kamikaze down the waste disposal rather than
bite into it!"
   I had to grin at her graphic description of some of the stuff dad buys
when she's not there to pick them out of the trolley and put them back on
the shelf, and picked up a slice, a typical Sai Fong choice, every known
topping except possibly strawberry jam, but it was hot, and tasted
wonderful.
   Eating finally restored me, and even though I was in no sense happy, I
was no longer crippled with grief, able to relate to Sai Fong again, able
to hold her and thank her for being normal and restoring me.  I took her
hand, and kissed her palm, each one of her fingertips, and pulled her in
close for a proper kiss, thanking her for being there when I needed her
most.
   "Now what, Harry?" she asked me seriously, "what happens next?  Now that
Grandpa knows, how likely is he to let slip to dad?"
   The last thing I was worried about was Grandpa dropping us in it.  I was
more concerned about the fact that we'd given ourselves away so easily, Sai
forgetting to remove her ring, and me caressing her, completely oblivious
to where we were.  I had already resolved to tell dad, but the way we
wanted, not by letting him catch-on because of some bloody silly mistake.
   "Grandpa won't say anything, or even drop a hint; he told us to tell dad
later, so he won't do or say anything, I know that.  Relax, baby, we've got
time enough to tell him."
   "Have you finished yet?" asked Sai, pointing to the pizza, "because I
want to go to bed!  Come on Harry, I'm bushed, and It's a long drive in the
morning, so let's go!"
   I was halfway up the stairs before I stopped to wonder where we were
going.  "Uh, Sai, what are we doing?" I asked, and Sai just looked
pityingly at me.
   "We are going to bed -- my bed, as you're asking, so just move it along
there, bucky, I need some sleep, and so do you!"
   "Sai, what are you talking about," I asked, "Dad's only down the road!"
   "And he's staying there tonight, Baby, and you're staying with me -- you
need me tonight; just what kind of fiancée would I be if I left my baby out
in the cold when he needed me the most?  Now shut your trap, Harry
Waterfield, and let's go!"
   More than slightly bemused, I tried one last fall-back.  "Uh, Sai, I
don't really want to...you know, tonight, it's really not a good time, well
you know that...." I trailed of as I saw Sai Fong's very own, patented
'what kind of fuckwit are you?' expression.
   "Well Thank You Harry, thank you for believing I'm slack enough to decoy
you into bed at a time like this, thank you so very much indeed!  FUCK
OFF!" And she stormed off up the stairs, leaving me feeling foolish and
embarrassed.
   Well done, Harry, I congratulated myself, that went well, although it
could have gone worse, you could have slapped her as well, that would have
REALLY put the tin-lid on the whole fucking day.  Smart move, you jackass.
   I eased up outside her door, and tapped lightly, no reply, so I tapped
again.  "Sai, I'm sorry, I misunderstood what you were saying, I'm sorry,
baby, please, say something!"
   I heard faint sounds from behind the door, and tapped again.  "Please
Sai, I'm sorry!  Look, I know I'm an idiot, OK?  I'm sorry, I didn't mean
that, please, let's not fight, not now, not tonight.  Sai, I need you,
please don't be mad!"
   Her door yanked open, and there she stood, clad in terry pyjamas,
looking adorable, but with a face like thunder, obviously still furious.
   "Harry, you are an arsehole, what are you?  How dare you believe I would
stoop so low; I saw you were in pain, I wanted to hold you, make the pain
go away, and you had to go and make it look like some...ploy, to get you
into the sack, make me feel cheap and nasty!  Come in here, I want to tell
you something!"
   I stepped into her bedroom, turned and shut the door behind me, and as I
turned back, got a stinging slap across my face.  It shocked me more than
anything else, but for a second I saw stars.
   Sai stood there, wringing her hand, obviously more affected than I was,
tears on her cheeks, and I suddenly realised just how angry she really was,
how much I'd offended her and hurt her feelings.
   "Sai, I'm so sorry, I wasn't thinking, please forgive me, I'll never
take you for granted again, I promise!"
   Sai looked at me, her lip trembling, face flushed, checking out my face
again, looking for the little tells, checking to see if I was being
sincere, then nodded.  She turned away, padding back to her bed, saying "go
to bed, Harry!" She pulled back the covers and climbed in, lying down and
turning away from me, dismissing me.  I turned and slunk out of her room,
barely hearing the whispered "Good Night, Harry!"
   I went back to my old room, stripped-off and climbed into bed.  I was
beat, and the added stress of our fight had drained me even further.  I lay
for a while, thinking of Sai Fong alone in her room, hurt and angry at me,
with good reason, thoughts of Gran and memories of my childhood tumbling
around in my head, regretting the last few years, the gulf between us that
had grown wider every year.  I fell asleep to dream of Gran walking me to
school, collecting me in the late afternoon and taking my school bag so I
could run ahead and wait for her at the top of the road, then my dream
switching to going into Birmingham on the train with her, first stop the
golden arches in New Street station, then shopping with her, holding her
hand and tugging her along New Street and into Broad Street, staring at the
sweetshops and chocolatiers, watching the street entertainers.  I lost hold
of her hand, and she was gone.  I spun round, Broad Street was empty, and
Gran was nowhere in sight; I was alone, Gran had left me alone, and there
was no-one to ask where she'd gone.  I ran up Broad Street, calling out for
her, crying, frightened and panicking, and suddenly she was there, hugging
me, only now it was Sai, whispering and soothing me.  I flicked my eyes
open, and there was Sai Fong, holding me close against her, wiping my wet
cheeks as I cried for Gran, calming me down as I struggled to separate
dream from reality.
   "Sshhh, Harry, you were having a nightmare, but it's alright, I'm here
now" she murmured, smoothing my hair.  Reality asserted itself, and I was
20 again, not 6 years old, the familiar surroundings coming into focus.  I
held Sai close, the dream-memories of Gran still too real to let go, hoping
for a second that this was the dream and I'd wake up and she'd still be
there, slowly accepting that it was not to be.
   I looked up at Sai, her lovely features fixed in an expression of
worried concern.  "This is why you needed me tonight, baby," she whispered,
"I heard you shouting all the way down there, you sounded terrified; do you
want to tell me about it?" I wanted to, but the words couldn't get past the
huge lump in my throat, and I shook my head mutely.  Sai nodded.  "We'll
talk in the morning.  Go back to sleep now, don't worry, I'm not going
anywhere."
   Sai continued stroking my hair, a restful, comforting feeling, and I
must have fallen asleep with her doing that, because the next thing I knew
was Sai kissing me as she got up, sunlight streaming through the bedroom
window.
   She left the room and I heard her walking down the stairs, and faint
domestic noises from the kitchen, then footsteps coming back up again.  Sai
edged into the room with a tray with toast, butter, Seville marmalade, and
two cups of coffee.
   "Come on Harry, pitch-in, it's getting cold!" she smiled, sitting down
cross-legged on the bed and buttering a slice of toast.
   We ate in silence, no need for conversation just yet, mulling over the
previous evening.
   I looked at Sai and she smiled back, good, we weren't at war any more,
and held my hand out to her.  Sai moved the tray over to the dresser and
slid onto the bed next to me, resting her head against my shoulder, putting
her arm through mine and patting me affectionately.
   "So Harry, do you want to tell me about it?" she asked, "It must have
been a really terrible nightmare, I've never heard of you having one
before. I know you were dreaming about Gran, so talk to me."
   I was still a little reluctant to go back there, the remembered feeling
from last night was still too strong, but I owed her that much, at least.
   "I dreamt I was out with Gran, shopping in Birmingham, and I let go her
hand, and then she was gone, and I got really frightened, and the whole
town centre was deserted...." I could feel the tears trying to come back,
the memory of the dream echoing and resonating in my mind, and had to
swallow several times.
   "Then she was there, and then it was you, and I thought you were the
dream and Gran was waking me up, God, it was so real, I so wanted it to be
real!"
   Sai stroked my hair, looking pensive, almost upset, tears glimmering in
her eyes.  "I know what you mean, Harry; when my Ah-Ma, mummy, died, I had
the same dreams, losing her and finding her again, and then finding her
gone for real.  Back home they call it 'Shi jie Jing shen' when you dream
yourself into the spirit world, where the ancestors wait for you.  It's a
good dream to have; it means they're showing you they're still here, just
not...here.  Can you understand what I mean?" She wiped her eyes with the
back of her hand, smiling brightly at me.
   I did, and looked at Sai with new respect; of course, she'd been here as
well, had to do this, and now more than ever, I understood how much I
needed her with me.
   "Sai, I was a crass, boorish, bloody idiot last night, I was so wrong to
assume that you wanted to...you know, and I'm sorry, I should have known
better.  Can you forgive me?"
   She grinned her usual, slightly cheeky grin.  "Of course, Harry, just
don't ever make assumptions like that about me again.  There's more to me
than just appetites, you know!"
   I had definitely come to understand that.  "I know," I said, "you've got
a tasty right hook, for a start!"
   Sai immediately looked contrite, quickly examining my face for marks or
signs where she'd belted me one.  I didn't have the heart to tell her that,
compared to what happened on the rugby pitch in the normal course of a
game, what she'd landed on me was barely a love-tap, so I tried to look as
though I was being manly and hiding my suffering.  Eventually she figured
it out, thumping me on the chest, and we were alright again.
   It was enjoyable to lay back and hold her to me for a while, but we had
to be getting back to London; I had work, and Sai was staying with me now
until at least the funeral, which could be several weeks away, due to the
circumstances of Gran's death; according to what dad had told Sai, Gran had
sat down to watch TV after making tea, dozed off, and when Grandpa tried to
wake her, she'd gone, just like that.
   I called dad, and told him we'd stop by on our way back, and checked to
see how Grandpa was doing.  Dad said he seemed fine, sad, but not sunk in
the depths of despair or anything like that, more resigned and accepting
than anything else.  Some of the neighbourhood ladies had been in again,
and made them breakfast, which seemed to amuse dad in a wistful sort of
way; he'd forgotten how small towns and villages worked in times of
bereavement.  Gran had been part of community life for decades, so she had
tendrils and connections all over town.  All the ladies from the local
branch of the Women's Institute, the dreaded WI, what Grandpa used to call
the 'Harpy Mafia' had been in and out, dropping off cakes, buns, quiches
and pies.  "I don't know who's going to eat them all, you'd better take
some with you!" said dad.  He'd tried to slip me some money last night to
cover the additional expense of having Sai with me, but I declined, I was
earning some good money from the university loan-out programme right now;
Sai showed no such compunction, however...
   Once I hung up I felt a lot better knowing that dad and Grandpa were
handling it well, better than me, anyway.  As I lay back, daydreaming about
Gran, Sai came back in the room, stripped off her pyjamas to take a shower,
and began rummaging in my linen closet for a bath towel.  The sight of her
lithe, sexy body did strange things to me.  Grief-stricken as I was, her
beautiful, desirable body was a very human reminder of the life around us
still, that we were still alive, and I realised that, despite the present
circumstances, I wanted, needed her badly right now.
   "Sai, can you come over here please?" I asked her, and she cocked her
head toward me, a quizzical expression on her face.  "Sure thing baby,
something up?" she asked, completely oblivious to her nude state.
   "I want to apologise again, and I want to hold you for a while, is that
alright with you?" I told her, and she smiled back, a knowing expression
flitting across her face.
   "Harry, I always want you to hold me, and you've already apologised
enough, just hold me so I can make you feel better for a while!"
   She slid into bed next to me, sliding her arm around my waist, pulling
me down to cradle my head against her.  "I know you're hurting now, baby,
but I promise you, it gets better.  The pain will go away, I promise you,
and only the memories will be left.  It did for me, it will for you."
   She kissed me on my cheek, her lips soft and warm, and I turned and
kissed her on her lips, feeling her kiss me back, her arms wrapping around
my neck to pull me in close.
   We slid down the bed, hands caressing and holding, touching and
squeezing as we kissed.  Sai reached out and took my rapidly hardening cock
as my fingers trailed down her flat abdomen to her silky pubic hair,
ruffling my fingertips through the silken gloss of them before seeking out
her moistness, sliding up and down her labia crease.  Sai moaned and
shifted, her body responding to the feel of my fingers as I slid one inside
her moist warmth, rubbing the hood of her clitoris, Sai groaning as my
stimulation of her ramped up a notch.  Her hand began to pump my cock,
flexing and squeezing as she did so, my finger pumping into her in time to
her pumping of me.  Now her eyes opened, and she looked up at me, telling
me what she wanted me to do, and I slid between her parted thighs, raised
up so she could position me, and slowly pushed in, sliding my cock into her
in one slow thrust, backing out and thrusting again, and again, building up
a rhythm.  She pumped her hips against mine, meeting me thrust for thrust,
grinding herself against me with every thrust, pulling me into her with her
strong legs, her kisses hot and fervent, until at last she climaxed,
wailing out loud as she came, the contractions in her vaginal tube milking
me of every drop of my sperm as I shot rope after rope of spunk into her.
Finally we were done, I fell back to the bed, lying next to her as she
huddled against me, her heartbeat loud and fast.  We said nothing to each
other, there was no need; our love for each other was conversation enough
for now.
   We stopped in to see Grandpa and dad, commiserating some more, making
tentative arrangements for how to deal with the funeral once the Coroner
had adjourned the inquest, then sped off back to London.  I was driving
this time, Sai really shattered from her emotional storm last night, then
watching me all night long, so I left her to snooze while I piloted the
Cherokee back to London, a picnic hamper in the back stuffed with Sai's
pick of the WI cakes and biscuits...
   We arrived back at the flat mid-afternoon, lugged our stuff back
upstairs, and called it a day.  I quickly phoned Professor Dickson's office
to let him know where I'd been, and collapsed into bed, completely
worn-out. The last thing I remember was Sai mumbling in her sleep, turning
over and burrowing down against me, her warmth and slow deep breathing
quickly sending me off.
   I awoke alone, the slanting late-evening sun shining on my face,
dazzling me as I slowly re-oriented myself, then sat up, wondering where
Sai was.  As I headed for the bathroom, I heard the TV, some American cop
show, one of Sai's addictions, and spotted her stretched out on the couch
in the shirt I was wearing earlier, eating cold quiche smeared with red
onion marmalade, oh dear God, please make sure she brushes her teeth before
she kisses me...
   After I'd washed my hands, I began inspecting the hamper Sai had packed,
rooting around for something to satisfy the inner man, and found some
pasties.  I chucked them in the oven for supper, flopping down next to Sai
as she scrunched up in the corner, and kissed the top of her head.  There
was no way I was going to kiss her properly, not while she was eating red
onion marmalade, that stuff always smelled to me like a failed chemistry
experiment, or a petrie dish left too long under a damp sink.
   I was in a relaxed mood; the drive back had focussed me again, and while
the grief was still there, it was grumbling under the table now, not
beating at the windows.  What Sai had told me, about the Chinese way of
coping with the aftermath of bereavement had been oddly comforting, and had
made emotional sense, helped me to think of Gran as not really gone, just
somewhere over...there.
   At last the interminable cop show finished, and Sai bounced upright. 
"Thirsty, need a beer, want one Harry?" I wanted, so we sat entwined on the
sofa, the TV in the background, drinking icy beers and discussing what had
happened, marvelling at Grandpa's lack of reaction to our relationship. 
Sai had replaced her ring on her proper ring finger, and cocked her head at
me.  "It stays there, OK, Harry?  No more hiding, no more pretending,
because, let's face it, we truly sucked big at it!"
   I had to smile, she was absolutely right, and it was more important than
ever that we tell dad, because he surely must have picked up on something
if Grandpa had done it without even trying.
   Sai had somehow gravitated to me from her perch at the other end of the
couch, curled up and watching me, now she was lying against me, resting on
my arm as I lolled back, waiting for the timer on the oven to go ping.  It
felt good to lie here like this, right and proper and at ease with each
other, no plans to make until we knew when to make them, someone else's
problem for now.  Sai's hair smelt wonderful, peach or some other fruit,
clean and sexy, and she was a delightful armful as she in turn lolled
against me, half watching the TV, her hand behind her, absently curling her
fingers in my hair.  I put my arm around her and shifted slightly onto my
side, spooning her closer to me, enjoying the fragrance of her hair,
kissing her head and working my way around to her ear and neck, seeing her
eyes flutter closed as I kissed and nibbled her earlobe, her neck, and her
jaw line.  Sai put her beer down on the floor and took mine from me, put it
next to hers, and wriggled round to face me, smiling as she put her arm
around me to kiss me properly.  I held her and kissed her back, our tongues
dancing and fencing, my hand sliding down her flank to lift the hem of the
shirt and cup her surprisingly, wonderfully bare buttock.  I looked at her
quizzically, and she grinned that old grin, tweaking my cheek.  "I was
wondering how long you were going to take to wake up again, baby.  It's OK,
you know, it's not disrespectful, life has to go on."
   I knew she was right, and pulled her into me again, for another bout of
extended lip manipulation and tonsil-hockey, before she slid upright and
jumped off the sofa.
   "My back's killing me, this sofa is lethal, the bed's much more
comfortable, hint, hint!" she grinned, and I had to grin back, following
her.  As we walked past the kitchen she noticed the oven humming away. 
"Harry, turn that off, your food will get burned." "It's alright, Princess,
it's on the timer, besides, 'Man does not live by bread alone', Matthew
4:4!"
   "Really," said Sai Fong, "'you're not sticking that thing in me just
yet', Julie Andrews: The Sound of Music!  Eat something first Harry, you
had a couple of slices of toast this morning, you'll collapse, get some
food in you!"
   The timer chose that moment to go off.  "And I am proved right yet
again!" smiled Sai.  "Eat, then play!"
   We bolted supper, and resumed where we left off, me working my way up to
giving Sai what I knew she was missing!
   It felt wonderful to lie next to her, feel her smooth skin, hold her
close as I kissed her, Sai holding me as close as she could, kissing me
back with equal vigour and need, letting me know that I her man, and that
she was my woman.  Her shirt was becoming progressively unbuttoned, and
even though I knew she was naked under it, it was still a thrill for me to
slowly pop each button, slowly strip her, until it was fully open and I
could feast on her nakedness.  Sai stretched and luxuriated, the sight of
her lovely lithe body flexing and stretching out making my cock jump to
attention.  I couldn't resist dipping down and sucking her nipple into my
mouth, gently rubbing it with my tongue as I trapped it lightly between my
teeth, making her groan and writhe sexily, the sight of her doing all sorts
of things to my libido.
   She twisted toward me, offering her other nipple for the same treatment,
and I was happy to oblige, at the same time trailing my fingers down her
belly to lightly rub and caress her mound, her moist cavity slick and warm
against my fingers as she dewed-up, becoming succulent and damp.  I traced
my fingers up and down the crease between her labia, feeling them begin to
swell and engorge, finally flowering open under my touch.  I slid one
finger into her, then two, rubbing slightly harder, feeling the little nub
of her clitoris begin to firm up and protrude.
   I flicked her clitoris lightly with my fingertip, watching Sai quiver
and gasp "Oh!" each time I did it, a flush creeping down her neck and
throat, her back arching and thrusting her nipples up even further for me
to lick and nibble on.
   "Harry, please, now...!" she choked out, and I moved into position
between her widely-spread creamy thighs.  She took hold of me, the contact
making my cock twitch in her hands, and guided me to her, then wrapping her
arms around my neck and pulling me down to her.  I sank into her, enjoying
her hiss of satisfaction as I pushed all the way inside her, her lips
finding mine as I began slowly pumping into her, savouring the exquisite
sensation of her hot moist flesh surrounding me.
   Sai began pushing up against me, her hips pumping in counterpoint to
mine, taking me in fully on each stroke, our bodies perfectly synchronised
as we rode each other, need and hunger gathering steadily.  I raised up on
my arms, all the better to see my beautiful girl, her head thrown back as
she moved against me, the sight of her pale creamy skin, her taut, dark
coral nipples fully erected, her mouth open and eyes tight shut as she
thrust against me, all combined in an erotic image that concentrated all my
need for her into a solid core inside me, a build-up of heat and sensation
deep down inside gradually filling me.  She began to gasp, her vagina
convulsing around my cock, rippling and sucking at me as her cervix
clenched in orgasm, gripping me solidly and triggering my own climax
   I gasped out loud, my body going rigid, my eyesight blurring as my eyes
rolled up in their sockets, the most incredible feeling of release sweeping
over me as I pumped my sperm deep into her womb, Sai responding with a
long, drawn-out growl, guttural and intense as her own orgasm rocketed
through her again, her back arching as she came, her vaginal contractions
milking every last drop of spunk out of me, clenching and squeezing me,
until I had no more to give.  Her own orgasm crashed and echoed through
her, wave upon wave as her pleasure centres revelled in the sensations,
keeping her rocking and shuddering long after I had finished climaxing.  At
last she slumped back down, her pussy relaxing and allowing my softening
penis to slip out of her warmth.
   I remained propped above her, admiring her serene features, her face
framed by her lustrous hair spread out on the pillow and around her
shoulders, tears just visible at the corners of her eyes, mute evidence of
the intensity of her orgasm.  Eventually, she opened her eyes, smiling
sleepily at me, her arms going around my neck to pull me down for a very
satisfying kiss, her still-hard nipples poking solidly into my chest.
   "Thank you Harry, that was incredible!" she grinned, dropping back on
the pillow and stretching luxuriantly, urging me down next to her so I
could spoon her, my arm draped across her waist.  I lay silently, waiting
for her to move, or say something, after a while realising from her
breathing she was fast asleep, so I pulled the covers over us and rested my
head against hers, inhaling the fragrance of her hair; tomorrow was back to
the routine, I had to go to work, catch up for missing today, and thinking
about Gran, still grieving, but no longer feeling that hollow loss; Sai's
comments this morning had really made sense to me, and I was grateful that
she'd shown me how to cope with that loss.  Still musing over the
explanation of my dream she'd given me, I fell asleep, to dream of Sai Fong
and I when we were still young, playing together in the garden outside,
pushing her on the swing, a stranger watching her, a sad, smiling Chinese
lady with long thick hair, and, in my dream I knew it was her mother,
watching her from that same place.
   I awoke bright and early, beating the alarm clock like I usually did,
the need to pee complicated by a rock-hard morning chubby.  I slipped out
of bed and into the bathroom, and eventually persuaded Harry Jr.  to behave
long enough to relieve myself.  I remembered one of my lecturers had once
defined Torque as the measurement of how high your heels came off the floor
when you pushed down your morning hard-on to take a piss, and I had to grin
as I realised I'd risen up on the balls of my feet, just as he'd said.
   That done, I showered and shaved, towelled-off and began to get dressed,
taking care not to wake Sai.  I was just grabbing a can of cola from the
fridge when I heard Sai stir, and sit up.
   "Harry?" she said blurrily, stifling a yawn, "why didn't you wake me, I
could have made you some breakfast; poor you, you can't go to work on an
empty stomach!"
   I sat on the bed, 'good-morning' kissed her, and pulled the covers back
up over her, urging her to lie down again.
   "Get some rest, Princess, you need it.  I'll get something from the
cafeteria when I get in, it opens at 8 o'clock, and I have a meeting at
9:30, so I have time for a good breakfast.  Take it easy today, and we'll
go out tonight; how does Gerard Street sound, there's some really good
authentic Chinese restaurants there?"
   Sai nodded sleepily and slid back down into bed.  I gave her a
cola-flavoured kiss, sweet but non-fattening, and headed off to uni to get
some work done, taking my sports bag with me, to get some gym-time in if I
could.
   I got home about 6, to find her sitting around in sweatpants and a
t-shirt, watching TV with a big bowl of popcorn.  She beamed at me,
standing up on the couch to kiss me, then dropping back down cross-legged,
watching another American cop show.
   "Sai, let's go, don't you want to go to Chinatown?" I asked puzzled at
her lack of enthusiasm, and she looked at me strangely.  "Not really Harry,
I don't think it's a good idea.  Let's order-in from that place round the
corner, I could go a Thai right now!"
   I looked at her, now even more puzzled, and asked her again, getting a
mumbled reply, her face reddening.
   "Sai, what's the matter, why can't we go to Chinatown?  I thought you
loved the food there?"
   Sai looked at me directly.  "Harry, I can't go there with you, it would
be...inappropriate for me to be seen with you, out with you there of all
places.  The locals wouldn't understand, they'd think I was with a white
man because I was a Gai, and I won't have that!"
   "Sai, what the hell is a Gai?" I asked, completely at sea.  Another
mumbled reply.  I gently turned her head so she was looking directly at
me." Sai Fong, what does it mean, what's a Gai?"
   Sai looked embarrassed.  "It's a prostitute, Harry, the locals think the
only Chinese women who go with Englishmen are prostitutes, they'd think I
was on the game, that's why I don't want to go anywhere near Chinatown."
   Now I felt embarrassed, realising how complex and different Sai's mother
culture really was, relieved I'd just avoided a major gaffe.
   "OK, we can order Thai, or Indian, or Chinese, or pizza, or maybe fried
chicken, what's your heart's desire?" Sai Fong grinned.  "I want Thai, I
feel the need for Pad Thai, Ba Mee Moo Dang for you, you'll love it, Moo
Ping pork and Kow Pad to share and Boa Loy for dessert.  Thai food's good
for you, builds up the essences, makes you horny, what are you waiting for,
Harry, order!"
   After a long leisurely meal with Sai, I stretched out, feeling at peace
with the world.  Sai Fong looked especially adorable in her t-shirt and
baggy sweats, and watching her watching TV was really very absorbing. 
After a while, she noticed my scrutiny, smiling sidelong at me, and slid
over to sit on my lap, slipping her hand inside my shirt to rub and squeeze
my chest and lat's, grinning happily.  "You went to the gym, I can feel
your muscles, they feel all hot and hard!  Yum!  Can I give you a massage,
a real massage?" Of course I said yes, so Sai jumped off me, and we headed
into the bedroom, me shedding my clothes until all I had on were my shorts.
   "OK Harry, on the bed, face down!" ordered Sai, and I complied, placing
a pillow under my chin and resting on my folded arms.  I felt her climb on
the bed, and next thing I knew, she was stepping onto my back, standing and
pressing my back muscles and vertebrae with her feet.  I'd heard of this,
seen it in films, but this was the first time I'd had it done to me, and it
was an incredible experience.  She held onto the headboard, and slowly
tramped up and down my back, pressing my joints and pushing the bones back
into line, using just the balls of her feet and her weight, from the small
of my back to the nape of my neck; it was the most amazing feeling.  She
dropped down to sit and then kneel in the middle of my back, and asked me
to stretch my arms out, I obliged and she took firm hold of my biceps, put
her knee between my shoulder blades, and leaned back sharply using all her
weight.  My cervical and thoracic vertebrae all snapped and crackled at
once, loosening me immediately, the sensation wonderful.  I looked back
over my shoulder at her, and saw she was naked, which just topped off the
whole experience for me -- you should try it sometime, all you need is a
bed, a beautiful exotic oriental girl who's in love with you, and she
should be naked; I can't emphasise this last bit too much!
   I rolled around, catching her and pulling her to me, grinning as she
smiled back.
   "Where did you learn to do that, princess?" I asked.  Sai grinned
impishly.  "Dad used to let me do it when I was small, Ah-Ma taught me the
basics, but I've been walking on dad's back since I was about 4, he even
used to ask me when I came here -- fully clothed, I hasten to add, on the
lounge carpet!"
   I eased her down and kissed her soundly, Sai wriggling against me,
rubbing my expanding cock through my shorts, making me gasp in
anticipation, my hands rubbing her bum cheeks, holding her close by her
lovely bottom, tongue darting in and out of her mouth.  Sai pulled away
from me, smiling wickedly, sliding down to pull down my shorts so my cock
swung up, licked her lips and slid them over the swollen head.  She tongued
the slit in the end, sharp sensations shooting through me as her tongue
slid through the little furrow, and began to suck in earnest, her cheeks
bellowsing as she suctioned me, making the head swell even more.  I
reluctantly eased her off me, this was too quick, to short-lived, I wanted
to play for longer, and slid her onto her back, parting her thighs and
moving up to lick and taste her most intimate flesh, sliding my tongue in
between her flushed labia, the slim lips already plumping up as they
swelled in response to her arousal, releasing even more of her fresh tangy
scent.
   I pushed my tongue firmly between her labia, exploring inside her,
licking and rubbing my tongue everywhere I could reach, tasting her soft
juices as they ran freely, flicking her clitoris as it made it appearance,
looking shiny and engorged.  She sighed and jumped every time I licked her
clit, and now as I sucked gently on it, licking it gently with my tongue
tip, Sai groaned, her pussy convulsing as she orgasmed, thighs drumming
around my head as her orgasm raced through her.
   I slipped my tongue out of her, and, while she was still shaking, shoved
my tongue tip into her soaking anus a hard as I could, making her shriek as
she came again, her back arching in the extremity of her orgasm.  She began
to come down and I moved over her, sliding my cock into her in one long
slow thrust, her eyes snapping open at this sudden invasion, and then she
smiled as she began to move against me.  I was enjoying the sight and feel
of her as I pumped, but Sai had other ideas.
   "Harry, stop, please, I want you to...oooh God!" as I slid out of her,
her face screwing up as another orgasm hit her, She swallowed, and said to
me "Baby, like this, please..." and rolled onto her front, her hands on her
buttocks, sliding one finger into her moist slippery anus.  I watched,
fascinated, cock thrumming like a guitar string as she worked herself, then
slid her finger out and pulled her cheeks apart.  "There Harry, now, go
there..."
   I positioned my cock head against her tight little hole, and slowly
pushed forward, her ring slowly stretching to accommodate me, the whole of
her puckered ring being forced inwards by my cock intruding into her most
secret place.  Sai was murmuring and gasping into the pillow as I slid
further in, and when I had finally sunk all the way in, she lay silent,
breathing in shallow gasps.  I began to withdraw, her eyes snapping open
and her eyes bulging.  "OHHH MY GOD!  OH GOD, HARRRY, YESSS, OOHH GOD,
YESS, DO THAT, OH FUCK YESS, DO THAT, YESS!" she screamed, and as I pumped
slowly into her again, she began gabbling incoherently, bucking against me,
forcing her lovely buttocks against my stomach as she slid herself onto me
again.  I don't know how long we fucked like this, my cock buried deep in
her velvety anus, but Sai was orgasming almost continuously, the sensation
of her cervix fluttering in orgasm rippling and drumming against my tightly
constricted cock.  At last, I could hold back no longer, and groaned out
loud as I came, shooting jets of spunk into her insides, 6 or 7 strong jets
powering out of me and into her.  The feel of me coming inside her set her
off again, and we climaxed together, joined together in a world of sexual
release and satisfaction.
   My cock slid out of her at last, and I collapsed on the bed next to Sai
Fong, almost paralysed with fatigue, my orgasm draining me of strength. 
Sai rolled against me, slipping her arms around my waist and pulling
herself closer, lightly kissing and nibbling my neck, throat, chin, my ears
and lips, maintaining contact, keeping connected.
   I held her in close to me, and kissed her passionately, letting my lips
tell her what she already knew, that I loved her and wanted her, and hugged
her tight, keeping her safe against me all night long.
   For three more weeks our lives fell into a pattern, almost a routine,
but not nearly as mundane.  I would go off to work early morning, Sai going
out sightseeing, touring any and every museum, art gallery and collection
she could legitimately get into, plus a few she sneaked or blagged her way
into, or rummaging around the booksellers and antique dealers on Portobello
Road, and on the weekends we'd find a club or a good wine bar and pretend
we were sophisticated Londoner's, or go dancing somewhere new and
interesting.  One time I took her to the Mambo Inn at the Loughborough
Hotel in Brixton, because Gran had been a keen lover of Latin music, and
had taught me from an early age to Mambo, Bossa Nova, Cha Cha Cha and
Merengue, so I could finally dance with Sai without looking sad, lost or
uncoordinated.  I showed Sai what fun Latin music was, and she taught me to
Salsa, properly; we had a good time.  We'd call dad and Grandpa every
evening, chat for a while, check everything was OK, that they were keeping
OK, and see if there was any news from the Coroner's Court for an Inquest
date.  At night we indulged in long slow lovemaking, or sweaty sexual
encounters, appetite for each other growing daily, gorging on each other.
   Finally, the third week of August, dad called to say they'd received the
death certificate, and could now go ahead with Gran's funeral.  The funeral
home had offered the last day of August, so I went ahead and arranged some
time away, and the arrangements got underway.
   We drove down the night before, both of us nervous but resolute.  Dad
deserved to know about us, and we were not going to sneak around and
pretend any longer.
   We arrived late in the evening, dad a little distracted, looking thinner
and somehow smaller, as though the wait had depleted him, and Grandpa was
uncommunicative, happy to see us, but obviously wanting to be alone with
his thoughts.  Everybody who was attending were going to be gathering at
the house after the interment, and caterers were delivering refrigerated
platters of sandwiches, rolls and cold meats, so we retreated to the patio,
sitting in the late august evening, talking softly; this was not a time for
frivolity or raised voices.
   At last, feeling awkward and out of place, we went to bed, Sai in my old
bedroom, me in one of the small guest bedrooms.
   The funeral cortege left the house at 9:00 sharp, as it was a long way
to Upton Cresset, near Bridgnorth, the funeral due to start at 10:30.  Dad
and I, and 4 neighbours carried the casket into the church, and the vicar
gave the old-form funeral service, as Gran would have wanted.  After the
simple service was over, we moved to the graveside, while the vicar read
the eulogy, the casket was lowered into the ground, and covered with the
privacy board; a JCB digger was waiting just behind the trees to fill in
the grave after everyone had left.
   And that was it.  A simple service and a simple burial; I think Gran
would have approved.  This was the church she was baptised in, married in,
and now her final entry in the parish record had been made.  It felt right.
I left dad and Grandpa at the graveside, Sai linked arm-in-arm with both of
them, and waited at the car for them.  I'd already said my goodbye, I was
at peace with myself, and I felt sure Gran knew how I felt.
   We got back to the house, all the guests sitting around or standing in
groups, eating sandwiches or rolls, the WI ladies in full attendance,
helping out, giving their condolences to Grandpa and the family, the other
mourners awkward and a little unsure what to say -- it wasn't a social
occasion, not somewhere you could easily say "Well now, that was nice
wasn't it!"
   Dad circulated around, and ended up standing by himself by the French
doors into garden.  Sai and looked at each other, agreement flashing
between us that now was the time, and approached him.
   "Dad, can we talk to you, somewhere private, please?" I murmured.
   He looked at us, nodded, and led the way to Grandpa's cluttered old
study.  I closed the door, Sai standing next to me, with dad perched on the
wide old desk where Grandpa used to play toy soldier battles with me on
rainy days.
   I cleared my throat.  "Dad, there's something I need to tell you, that
we both need to tell you." He cocked an eyebrow, but otherwise said
nothing, waiting for me to continue.
   "Dad, Sai Fong and I, we've...we're in love, and we want to be together,
stay together.  I love her, and she loves me, and we want each other."
   Still nothing.
   Sai stirred.  "We didn't want to hurt, you, dad, honestly, and we didn't
mean for this to happen, but it has, and I want Harry, more than anything
in the world..." Tears began to run down her cheeks as she spoke, and at
last dad spoke.
   "Sai, Harry, is this what you both want, really, because you know that
there's no going back, no way to make what you do un-happen.  You accept
this, yes?"
   We both nodded.
   "And what about children, you know what the consequences could be for
them?  And knowing those consequences, you two are still prepared to go
ahead regardless?"
   "Dad, we've talked about it, and I've done some checking; because Sai
and I share a parent, there is some risk of chromosomal damage or deletion,
but no more so than if we were cousins , and better than fair chances that
there would be no consequences at all.  It's a risk we've discussed, we
think it's acceptable."
   Dad sat for a long moment, then held out his hand to Sai Fong, beckoning
her closer.  Sai stepped up to him, and he hugged her close, smoothing back
her hair and kissing her gently on the forehead.  "Ngo Oi nah, Sai Fong" (I
love you, Sai Fong) he murmured.  Sai, tears coursing down her cheeks,
replied "Wo ai wo di Baba!" (I love you dad) Dad wiped her tears away,
kissed her forehead again, and gently tweaked her cheek, making her smile
through her tears.
   Dad stood up and looked at me.  "Harry, what are your intentions toward
s my daughter?" he asked formally, and I replied as formally as I knew how.
   "Sir, I am in love with your daughter, Sai Fong, and with your
permission, I would ask that you grant me her hand in marriage."
   Dad held out his hand and I took it, shook it.  Sai looked on as dad
turned to her, smiled, and then turned back to me.
   "I can't say that this is how I hoped things would turn out, but I would
be lying if I said I didn't have my suspicions, and for quite a while now.
Harry, you're not a very good or convincing liar, you were born honest,
it's one of the things I admire most about you.  I saw the look on your
face every time you looked at Sai Fong.  I also saw the way she looked at
you when you weren't looking.  So yes, this is not what I wanted, but I
think I knew deep down it would eventually happen, sooner or later.
   You know it's going to be tough sledding down the road, don't you; both
of you are going to have to be strong for each other, and you're going to
have to give each other your total commitment; it's the only way this can
work.  You are my children, and I love you both dearly, and I wish to God I
could wave a magic wand and clear the way for you both forever; I can't, so
you have to love each other enough to do this.  It will be hard enough
being together as man and wife, or whatever, but being brother and sister
as well, that's going to complicate life for you in ways I can't even
imagine.  You need to be absolutely sure you want this.  They say love will
find a way, I sincerely hope that's true.  I'll do all I can for you, but
you're also going to have to fight to keep this together, keep your
secrets. All I ever wanted was for my children to be happy, for my daughter
to find a man she loves and who loves her back.  Her happiness is very
important to me Harry, do you understand me?  And you, Harry, are you sure
this is what you want?  Because all I want for you is that you be happy
too!"
   I spoke up.  "Sir, Sai Fong and I love each other, and we're strong
enough together to keep together whatever happens.  We've committed totally
to each other, I will always love her, and make her happy every day of her
life, she's all I ever wanted, and the only woman I will ever want.  I
promise you, we will make this work!"
   Dad nodded.  "Then, sir, I have no objections to you marrying my
daughter; if she'll have you, that is!" he smiled, eyes twinkling.  "And
now, can the father of the bride have a kiss please!"
   Sai laughed and hugged him, and dad pulled me in to embrace me as well.
Then he held Sai back to look at her.  "And you miss, you can put that ring
you keep trying to hide back on the right finger now!" Sai gaped at him,
grinned, and swapped my grandmother's engagement ring back to her left
hand.
   We talked a while longer, giving him an outline of what we planned, dad
extracting a promise that we would hold off on marriage or children until
Sai had graduated.  We agreed, we had neither the resources nor the
inclination to be parents just yet, so it was an easy promise to give.
   We left to rejoin the guests, dad leaving us to circulate around. 
Grandpa looked up at me, his eyebrow raised, and I nodded slightly and
lifted Sai's left hand to show him the engagement ring in its proper place.
Grandpa called us over, embracing me quickly and holding Sai a little
longer, then kissed her cheek and held her to him one more time, then
gently propelled us back into the lounge to talk with all the guests.  We
passed around sandwiches like dutiful hosts, trying to avoid looking like a
couple; a lot of the people here knew us as siblings, so a slip now could
have significant long-term consequences; nobody gossips like rural people,
and putting two and two together is something they do really well.
   Eventually, the whole dreary business of feeding the mourners was done;
I was numb with hearing how she'll be missed, how popular she was, what a
pillar of the community she was, all the platitudes.  All I knew was that
my Gran was gone, the only mum I had ever known, and I wanted to go
somewhere quiet and cry for a while.  As I sat I suddenly remembered what
Sai had told me about how the people back home viewed where the ancestors
were, and again I felt comforted; it felt emotionally right, exactly right.
It gave me hope, thinking that she was somewhere close, just out of sight,
and I remembered the odd dream I'd had, seeing the person I was convinced
was Sai's mother watching her play, smiling, visible to me as I watched us
play from the same place, the spirit world we go to in our dreams.
   Physically tired, but emotionally re-balanced, I went looking for Sai,
finding her sitting next to dad in the lounge, arms around him, head on his
chest, listening to his heartbeat and breathing, like she used to do when
she was small, dad stroking her hair, probably not even aware he was doing
it.  I watched for a moment, feeling like a voyeur, then quietly left, not
wanting to intrude on a private moment.  I would have a lifetime with her,
so I couldn't begrudge him this time with her.  I wandered from room to
room, feeling displaced, no longer at home, the way I had when I was young,
the sense of Gran's presence fading now that her passing had become just a
matter of record.
   I found Grandpa looking at the photographs on the shelves in the
parlour, pictures of dad when he was a boy, family portraits in Hong Kong,
Grandpa in his army uniform, familiar pictures all, plus one I'd never seen
before.  It was a beautiful slim girl in a ball-gown, dark hair swept over
one eye and down over her shoulder in a Veronica Lake 'peek-a-boo'
hairstyle, and it took me a moment to realise it was Gran, but a Gran I'd
never seen before.  I was mesmerised; apart from her obviously Caucasian
features, at that age she looked uncannily like Sai Fong.  I looked at
Grandpa, who was watching me.
   "She was so beautiful that day, the first time I saw her, she was 15,
her first dance.  I couldn't believe my luck when she agreed to dance with
me, I was 16, and I walked on air all night.  We saw each other often, then
the war with Japan came, and she was evacuated to India.  You know about
the war in Hong Kong, what happened, but she waited for me, came back to
Hong Kong when the war ended, and then the Malaya crisis blew up, and so
off I went again.  We eventually got married in Kowloon in 1953, but I was
still in the army, still involved in Malaya, so your dad didn't come along
until 1956.  She loved to dance, you know that, and she was so very, very
beautiful.  You and Sai Fong get your hair and eyes from her."
   I had never seen a young photograph of Gran; I'd only ever known her
with white hair, and now to see her so young, so beautiful, was a shock and
a sharp reminder of her, of Grandpa and his loss.  Grandpa put his hand
around my shoulder, squeezed and patted it.
   "Thank you for everything today, son.  You should get some rest soon,
Harry Boy, you look done in.  Now I think I want to stay alone with her for
a while longer, so you go and find your little girl, I think your father
needs a quick word with both of you."
   I found dad still sitting in the parlour, Sai in the kitchen, making
something to drink.
   "Sit, down, son." He patted the sofa next to him.  As I did, Sai came in
with three coffees, gave us our drinks and perched on the easy-chair,
facing dad, who cleared his throat and began speaking.
   "Harry, Sai Fong, your Grandpa and I, we've decided to sell this place;
he doesn't want to stay here, not now, and the place in Cosford is easier
for him, not so many stairs, so what we've decided is, the proceeds from
the sale of this place will go into as many Building Society accounts as
necessary to safeguard it, in your joint names.  When you get married,
you're going to need a home; this will be your nest-egg, your deposit when
you come to buy your own place.  It won't be a huge amount, property prices
are not that great round here, but it should give you a good head-start. 
In the fullness of time, the place in Cosford will become yours as well, so
there's some additional capital if you or your children ever need it.  This
is our wedding present to the both of you."
   Sai was open-mouthed, tears in her eyes as she absorbed the fact of
dad's acceptance of us and our plans, gratitude for the start they were
giving us written plain on her face.  She put her coffee down and moved
over to kneel on the floor next to dad, rested her head on his leg, and
said "Toh Hsieh Baba!" so softly I barely heard her.  Dad smiled and
stroked her hair, then lifted her chin, smiled at her, and handed her up,
standing up himself to hug her, including me in the family hug.
   "You two have plans to make now, so I'll leave you to it!" he grinned,
"And, Kids, separate bedrooms tonight, eh?"
   +++
   We married on Sai Fong's 21st birthday, in the Wren church, on Fleet
Street, in the City of London; dad gave her away, and Grandpa stood as my
best man, all our university friends and work colleagues in attendance. 
Sai had graduated that summer, and had decided to become a freelance
graphic designer, picking up commissions based on her annual exhibitions at
Slade.  I had accepted a job with a European military aircraft consortium
based near London, and we were still living in the old flat, Sai using the
lounge as a makeshift studio while looking for a place of our own.  While I
was at work, she spent the days looking through and talking with Estate
Agents, trying to find the perfect place.  One evening I asked her what the
requirements were she'd given the Estate Agents for her perfect house, and
she ticked them off for me.  "We need a large garden, must be far from a
major traffic route or main road, but not remote, set back from the road,
have at least 3 bedrooms, old and comfortable, not over-modernized but not
needing renovation, lots of period features, and a nursery near the master
bedroom."
   I was miles away, reading a design performance specification for a new
type of helicopter airframe.  "What do we want a nursery for?" I asked her
absently.
   "Because, dopey, I don't want this baby sleeping in bed with us!" Her
comment resonated for some reason, suddenly I realised what she'd just
said, my head snapping up to look at her in astonishment.  "What did...I
mean...  what...are you...!"
   Sai grinned her old cheeky grin.  "That's right, Brain of Britain, I'm
preggie!"
   Now my life really was complete, with all I ever wanted right here,
right now.
   pics---->> http://bit.ly/1D1q3qp 
  
AllIEverWantedCh03