Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 The Priestess, Part 4 of 6
   by Nysidra
   Occult Fantasy (MF, prosexual, group, magic, drugs)
   <->
   -_ Manifest Essence _-
   Sidra Colin's class was full of new devotees this week.  Colin was a
shrewd businessman and spoke on the Oani Atraya and its energies.  Colin
was popular with several family members, mostly the well-off ones.  He
liked to surround himself with wealth, brilliance, and money.
   Soraya knew from being around Nigel and he and Colin often shared vands.
Nigel tended to pick the political ones, persuasive and charismatic.  Colin
preferred the lower key ones with money and degrees.
   "Do you have a boyfriend yet?" Gabby leaned over and whispered to her.
   "Why?"
   Gabby nodded toward Colin.  "I mean, you're beautiful, available ... 
still." She held up her foot, showing off her pink leather boot.  "I got
these as a gift from my last date.  Colin knows super nice people.  If
you're going to stay single, no reason not to benefit from it."
   "So, I stay single even if I go on these dates?" Soraya asked.
   "There's no attachment, just friendship.  I'm sure if you ask him to
introduce you to some of his friends, he'd help." Gabby dropped her voice
even lower.  "I'm can get any ceremony I want paid for.  If I ever take the
elements, I won't have to worry about it.  By thirty I won't have any debt
with the family."
   "Nice," Soraya said with a nod.
   She waited until after the class and walked over to his desk.  "So,
Gabby says I could find better dating prospects with you rather than elder
Orbona."
   "Orbona is the best chance for you to find a partner."
   A partner.  The man she'd start a family with, have children.  There was
only one man she could think of filling that role.  She didn't need to go
to Orbona for that.  "I'm too young to pay that much attention."
   Colin nodded.  "We can talk about what you're looking for--"
   The classroom door opened.  Elder Channa led a man and woman into the
room.  "This is the second classroom.  We try to keep it a relaxed
environment.  Instruction is provided by the Sidra as part of their
devotion hours.  Sidra Colin, Devotee Soraya.  I'd like to introduce you to
Mister Mason and Madam Karen.  They are going to be our guests here at the
temple and perhaps some of the houses.  Since you're here, Colin, I'd like
to arrange a time when Mason and Karen can sit in on one of your classes."
   "Sit in?  That's only reserved for family members.  What's different?"
   "They are interviewing the family and other families.  You're familiar
with the Poligro Award?"
   "Very much so," said Colin.
   Soraya had heard of it as well.  The Poligro Award existed in other
regions.  It was an official acknowledgement of a family's contribution to
the Pasebs.  It recognized upholding the ideals and the process of helping
Niralens meet with the spirits and form lasting bonds.
   It also explained the boost in activity and peppiness and shine present
through the family today.  Nothing to do with the fall harvest festival at
all.
   Did Araceli deserve such an honor?  Who else were they competing
against?
   Soraya smiled at Mason as she passed by since he was looking at her, but
they didn't speak.  She had a couple hours to burn on the second floor of
the warehouse to work on.
   "I can take a look at my schedule.  Did you two have a time in mind?"
Colin's voice faded as she walked out the side door.
   Araceli was one of the founding families in this area.  If any family
could make the short list for a Poligro, Araceli would be a natural choice.
   Competition, the spirit of Arre, was firmly rooted in Araceli ways. 
Arre had all the chest-puffing, feather-spreading, displays of prowess and
honor.  The classes, one after another, over and over, were beginning to do
their job.  Soraya saw everything is one or another manifestation of the
spirit.  Even still, that didn't mean she understood what was going on with
her bracelet.
   Or Omari.  When she thought about the energies that Omari embodied, they
seemed to echo many of her selbram - with a few exceptions.  All that meant
was that he was too deep in her head, and her heart, and her body.
   Soraya grinned and her mind drifted away to the way it felt to lay under
him, her legs wrapped around his waist, his teeth on her neck.  She sighed
heavily and shook herself back to the present.
   This was why new Sidra had to spend time in shadow, away from
charismatic people like him.  Oh well, Soraya wasn't in shadow and she
wasn't about to pull away from the most euphoric part of her life.
   If the family was going to put on a show, then Soraya considered signing
up for whatever classes they were in.  Would they go into more detail or
keep it high level, not sharing too much of Araceli's ways?  If it was a
show, then Soraya was only too pleased to sit in the audience.
   Who wouldn't put on their best behavior when under observation?  Who
wouldn't want to present their family in the best light?
   Would they still slay the animals during ritual?  Were Mason and Karen
allowed in the temple or to stay in the public areas?  What family were
they a member of?  These were all questions Soraya wanted to ask, but
lacked the clout to do so.
   Her mind drifted back toward Colin as she organized the video recordings
by date and event.  Would he decide against talking to her now that Mason
and Karen were hanging about?  Would Deven charge a fairer rate to members
outside the family for his creations?  Would Nigel alter the people he
recommended for initiation?
   Toward the end of her shift the door opened downstairs and slammed shut.
She set the book aside as the elevator groaned.
   Colin walked over and looked over the railing.  "She's still up here."
   "All right," Nigel's voice.  The warehouse door opened and closed again.
   "We didn't get to finish our conversation from earlier."
   Soraya smiled.  That answered her question then.  The presence of a
couple researchers wasn't going to stop them entirely.
   "I have a few people, some from the family, a few that aren't.  They
appreciate the company of a beautiful woman.  Depending on how much they
enjoy the outing, a few can be quite generous in their appreciation."
   "So I heard."
   "Yeah," Colin looked her over.  Soraya was still sitting on the table,
her legs dangling off the side.  "I hear you can be very generous as well."
   Energies tickled at her spine, like a gentle warmth, laying low, waiting
for a hand up.  All she had to do was reach out and pull.
   Give in or walk away?
   Soraya pulled.  She didn't answer Colin's statement.  She didn't move.
This was just an experiment.  Was she experiencing something real or just
making it up?
   Colin walked over to her.  "Why should someone else have all the fun? 
With that pair sniffing around, I should know better than to have anyone
clamoring to spend time with you.  Be generous with me, Soraya.  I'll make
sure to return the favor.  I heard you were having trouble at work."
   "My troubles there have been worked out."
   "That's good." He rested his hands on the tops of her thighs, testing,
waiting for her reaction.
   "You want to know what I want?"
   "Tell me."
   "A time and place to play my guitar, with an amp, better lighting and
acoustics than this warehouse."
   Colin grinned.  "The studio is at my house."
   "I would appreciate using the sound room." Soraya touched the inside of
her leg to the back of his thigh.  "Could you tell me how I could earn that
privilege?"
   Colin brushed his thumb along the bottom of her lip.  "I enjoy a girl
who has a dirty mouth.  Perhaps if you were particularly verbal, detailed,
vocal while I fuck you, I think you could earn some time in the sound room.
I don't do silent treatment."
   "Demanding or begging?"
   "Beg," he started breathing deeper and his face looked flushed.
   "I think you'll find my voice very pleasing to your ear.  When I can
sing for you, sir?"
   That did it.  He grabbed her by the hips and pressed his erection into
her.
   "Right now?  Right here on this table?"
   "No." Colin let her go as if she had burned him.  He wiped his brow and
looked around as if looking to see if someone had watched.  "Like you said,
the acoustics here are horrible.  I'll ...  I'll call you." He took quick
steps to the elevator.
   Soraya worried her lip between her teeth as she watched him go.  She'd
done that one on purpose, pulled the energy and then pushed it on him.  Did
he feel it?  Did he know?  She wasn't a Sidra.  Manipulating the Oani was
not supposed to be something she could do ...  or should do?
   ***
   Colin left the warehouse in all but a run.
   Nigel stood just outside the door.  "How did it go?"
   "What the fuck, Nigel?" He pushed past him and went to his knees.  Colin
coughed and gagged until sweat dripped from his face, but nothing came up.
   "What's the matter?"
   "Assholes.  She was the one Deven was talking about, isn't she?  Her? 
Damn it.  Why isn't," He heaved again, his back and stomach contracted and
pushed, but nothing came up.  "I nearly took her right there, whether she
wanted me to or not, I was..."
   "You still can if you want.  She's proven herself to be discreet, like I
said."
   "Fuck.  You've been with her, haven't you?"
   Nigel only smiled.
   Colin pushed himself to his feet and put distance between them.  "She
wants a place to play her guitar.  You set it up."
   "The studio is at your house."
   "No.  No, I'm not going anywhere near that."
   "That?  Since when did a pussy scare you?"
   "That," Colin hissed, "is getting stronger.  You are feeding her and
damned if I'm going to follow.  I practically told her.  Shit." Colin wiped
his face and straightened his clothes.  The feeling lingered, the latent
fantasy of her riding him.  What would she say?  What song would she sing?
Curiosity nagged.
   He needed to know what she was like, what Nigel got to enjoy.
   "It's your house, your studio.  If you can't handle her, send her my
way. She plays beautifully, by the way." Nigel waved and headed out.
   Colin closed his eyes as a fresh breeze picked up.  "Atraya help me see
my way through this."
   Soraya walked out, bags shouldered.  "Guess I'm walking," she muttered.
   Colin turned his face down.  "Soraya."
   She walked over to him, but stopped before getting too close.
   "Two hours, once a week.  The other musicians practice Sunday and
Wednesday evenings from 5 to 7.  I have dinner prepared on those nights. 
You can come by at 6:30 or 4:30 and spend an hour at a time - or take your
two hours before and after.  I have two sound rooms and we'll work out of
one while you're there.  Understood?"
   "Yes, sir.  Thank you."
   Colin dug his nails into his palms.  He wanted to tell her to get in his
car.  He'd take her to his sound room and close it up tight.  No one would
hear that voice but him while he made her scream and scream.
   Beads of sweat ran down the side of his face.
   He didn't move until she was out of his sight.
   ***
   Soraya had been around Omari enough that she could pick up that
something was different about him - as opposed to other people.  In many
ways, Omari seemed liked a Sidra.  He wasn't a member of a formal family
like the Araceli.  He didn't initiate others, but he counseled plenty of
people.  He had an extensive knowledge of the Oani and the Pasebs that
tended to rival some of the classes she'd taken.  She didn't take these
similarities too seriously.  In many ways, things that Soraya experienced
felt like those of a Sidra - given what she'd heard, and she definitely
wasn't one.  She could barely handle the role of devotee.
   Omari was not a Sidra.  He was something different, something she didn't
have a word for and she couldn't ask her own family without raising
suspicion or mentioning how she would know such a person.  Omari had an
affect on her that went beyond love, infatuation, or any of those hormonal
spikes that went along with a relationship.
   It was for all these reasons that Soraya stood still as a startled mouse
inside Omari's apartment.  Her mouth hung open, lips slightly parted, in
preparation to shout out, 'what's that smell?'
   The energy in the room felt peculiar, off, and yet it was a familiar
kind of strangeness.  It felt like the twin sensations of solving a puzzle
and pulling open a cabinet to find a viper coiled among the cups.
   She knew this exact blend of energy so well because she had been trying
to figure it out for weeks.  A series of combinations of the selbram on her
bracelet, the ones that indicated a low lying violence and subjugation and
manipulation.
   Omari's bedroom door opened and the viper turned.
   His naked chest was covered in sweat.  Great rivulets dripped off his
body.  His dark blue shorts were stained from sweat and something darker.
   Blood, guessing from the rust brown flakes on his hands and the blade,
stained a bright shade.
   One eye on her, he walked into the kitchen and turned on the tap, his
back to the counter, watching her, while he rinsed the blood from the
knife.
   Soraya closed her open mouth, but she did not move.  Her muscles ached
from being held so tense, taunt from stress.  She would have attempted an
escape if she hadn't blocked her own exit.  She had already closed the
front door behind her or she would have bolted down the hallway.  Turning
the knob of the door one one action too many.
   "Your eyes have been opened and yet you keep your mouth shut."
   Soraya couldn't tell if the softly spoken words were meant for her or if
he spoke to himself.
   She didn't ask.  Keeping her mouth shut was her only play for now. 
Steramir's violence needed no fuel, no kindling.  The energy of Steramir
could scorch the earth without further assistance from her.  With so much
Ustufu energy, there would be fuel for days like an oil fire, burning on
and on without end.  Rich and purposeless.  Soraya did not want to become a
purpose for that rage.
   He cleaned the blade and its handle, dried it with a hand towel, oiled
the handle, all from the kitchen counter without taking his eyes off her.
   Soraya maintained a perfect pose of silence and awareness.
   He set the knife down, leaned on the counter.  His eyes narrowed as he
looked her up and down.
   This was turning out to be harder than she thought.  Standing here much
longer and she'd start trembling.  So many options came to mind, the first
of which being to ask the dumbest of questions: 'What are you staring at?'
He sought fuel and she'd be a fool to offer it.
   Be he was searching, and Steramir's energy would not walk away hungry.
   Moving slowly, Soraya set her purse aside, she stepped back out of her
sandals, and slid down the straps of her dress.
   There was something she could offer, something she could live through.
   His breath turned deep, heavy.  His eyes darted to the bedroom and
Soraya left her clothes where they fell and walked, one slow foot in front
of the other, into Omari's bedroom.
   The bitter smell was stronger in his room, thick, herbal, mixed with
blood, sweat, and sweetness.  Her naked backside warmed from the heat of
his body behind her, wet from his sweat.  His hands rose to cup her
breasts.
   "You must learn to serve, to obey.  Learn to submit, not only in fear."
His words sounded heavy, husky, and his words came slower than usual.  It
sounded like a man speaking through Omari's voice, using Omari's body.
   A different man.  Soraya's heart raced as his hands circled her breasts.
The large hands, once stained with blood, moved down her body to her hips.
   He lifted her right wrist, unwrapped the sash covering it.  "When
called, you surrender.  You offer your complete devotion.  Is that not your
promise?"
   Before she could answer, he put one hand on her waist and pushed her
down between her shoulder blades until she was bent double.  He kicked her
feet wider and his erection pressed into her.
   Soraya cried out as she held onto his wrists.  She depended on him for
her balance, but otherwise, all she could do was take the pummeling.  Each
time he thrust into her, he slammed into her g-spot.  Over and over, his
thick shaft pounded into her body, filling the bedroom with the sloppy
sound of her pussy and her plaintive moans of pleasure.  Soraya did more
than climax.  Ejaculate streamed down the inside of her thighs.
   He didn't slow, didn't stop.  One orgasm followed soon after the first.
Plaintive moans turned to wanton wails of pleasure.
   "Yes!" She sobbed, not from the crying, but between her breath that she
couldn't manage to catch, between the relentless slamming into her body. 
"Yes!"
   When he repositioned her, she moved.  He pushed her onto the bed and put
her ankles over his shoulders.  "Yes?"
   "If I am called to serve the Oani, I will.  I will submit.  I will
surrender."
   His hand around her throat, their noses touching, Soraya could see the
manifest essence up close.  Omari's body filled with a spirit of Nysidra.
No ritual, no music, no other Sidra around to assist and control the
situation as there would be within the confines of a ritual.  "You are so
called." The hand around her throat tightened as he reentered her body. 
"Your words mean nothing."
   Words were empty anyway.
   Relax.  Open yourself.  Submit.  Surrender.
   Air flowed freely and like a fever, she felt filled.  Soraya turned to
kiss him, this entity in Omari's body.  He even kissed differently,
aggressive, demanding, rough.
   He grunted and dug those massive hands into her thighs as he came.  She
felt his ejaculate, the swell, then the come down, but only his erection.
Nothing had changed regarding his mood or the spirit filling his body.
   Soraya knew how to fuck, if she'd learned nothing else, there was an art
to this she could harness.  She put him on his back and licked his chest,
listening for instruction from his body, from her internal energies.
   Her tongue grazed his nipple and he twitched.  She went back and pulled
on it with her teeth, dragged her nails down his side.  He ...  whoever he
was ...  was more physical, primal, unbridled.  Everything she didn't
understand about her selbram.
   She held his face between her hands, much like Nigel loved to do with
her, but instead of kissing him, properly, she licked his mouth.  Turned
her head and nibbled along his jaw down to his neck, her body writhing
along his.
   Nothing held back.
   She rubbed her pussy against his erection and was surprised to find him
erect and swollen.  She rolled onto her back, tilted her hips up, legs
open, mouth open.
   He chuckled and the sound put goosebumps on her flesh.  He grabbed her
by the back of her neck and put her face in his crotch.
   There was no pleasure she would deny him.
   ***
   Omari groaned and stretched awake.  When his hand hit another body, he
startled and sat up.  Soraya lay in bed beside him.  Her sleepy green eyes
looked him over and her lips curled in the hint of a smile.  The remains,
the smells, and items of his ritual the evening before lay around the room.
Omari's chest tightened as he eyed the dark bruise on her neck, red whelps
and dark bruises marked the arm on top of the blanket.
   "When did you get here?"
   "Late last night.  I wanted to surprise you."
   "Where are you hurt?" And why was she still here?
   "I'm not."
   Omari snatched the covers back and inspected her.  Bruises, whelps,
nothing a very rough night of sex with him wouldn't cause.  He didn't find
signs of a fight, abuse, or torment - typical results of someone stumbling
upon his manifest essence.
   "This one," Soraya showed him her bracelet.  "Steramir and Fobirk -
that's what I had been thinking, so I've done a lot of meditating on how
these energies would represent themselves.  The need to feed, voracious
hunger - and ...  so many of the other energies remind me of you.  I know
it's wrong, but I ...  Anyway, I did nothing, well, I took my clothes off
and did what I do best."
   "Is that so?" Omari was going to explain his avatar eventually, but
given how she was being used by him, Omari naturally assumed she would
disappear once her use was fulfilled, like everyone else.  The truth about
his connection to the Pasebs was best reserved for people who were going to
stick around - like his room mates.  He always let them know his ritual
nights ahead of time, but otherwise - if they came across a bitter smell in
the house - stay away for at least five hours.
   Soraya had never come to his house uninvited.  He never thought to warn
her.
   His manifest essence hadn't hurt her?  Given the bruises, he must have
fucked her raw.  Omari bemoaned his lack of a memory.  How freely she must
have given of her body and soul to come out unscathed?  "I ...  don't
remember.  I think I'm jealous."
   She reached up and pulled him into her arms.  "I've heard of people like
you, but ...  never, ever seen.  Don't be jealous.  I would give you the
same if you asked."
   Omari couldn't warn her.  Now that his avatar had lay his eyes, hands,
and by the look of her body - his everything - on her, he would be more
strict with his commands and lessons, and more exacting in his punishments.
   Omari could only hope something would be left of her when his avatar
finished.
   ***
   Obey.  Serve.  Submit.
   Soraya had pledged to be a devotee of Nysidra, and after that long, hard
night with an actual spirit, Soraya felt a renewed dedication to her
studies and to her family.  This renewed dedication felt odd given the
things she was beginning to see.  Her eyes were indeed open, like the veil
being peeled away.  Her blind trust of her new community and family was
replaced by a more balanced view of the Araceli family.  There were a great
many things wrong with some of the members of her family, but the problem
was that those members were also a small group of Sidran.  As for the
actual Devotees and many of the elders, they were actually quite dedicated
to their studies.
   Soraya sat on the porch, stitching as she'd been assigned, but at least
she could do her work here, among the others, her pennance paid, she'd been
accepted back into the fold.
   "I was thinking about giving Stephen a place to stay now that he's back
in town." One of her family members, Anabelle, mentioned.
   Zarina gave a slow shake of a head.  "You can't watch him like he needs.
Remember Sandy?"
   Anabelle nodded in the affirmative.
   "Stole that poor fool blind trying to get more of that shit he was on."
   "I know, but he's been in rehab."
   Zarina grunted.  "He left the family.  Nothing to be done for that one.
He'll turn back and it shouldn't be in your house, too many starry eyes
there."
   "I hear you.  Where we going to put him up then?"
   "Send him over with Colin.  He can read the reformed.  If he's not, then
we'll just get back what he took."
   Anabelle grinned, but that wasn't Soraya saw.  She saw the purplish
green energy rising, caressing her, whispering things in her ear.  The
creature didn't look like a person.  It was the ghost of something mutated,
a creature of the Oani.
   It was like she could see the things they were doing to protect the
other family members.  But that wasn't necessarily a bad thing.  It meant
that the Araceli family looked out for each other, dealt with problems
internally.  That's what a family was supposed to do.
   "How have you been?" Anabelle, turned toward Soraya.
   "Good." Soraya didn't say anything more, her mouth shut, stopped
working. She didn't get the chance to tell Omari about the fugue state she
went into at work, but she wasn't going to tell them.  She couldn't talk
about the way Deven was giving her medication that only made her sick,
playing sexual games with Nigel, or the extortion run by Colin.  She didn't
want to talk about her bracelet, or that she'd been hallucinating this
morning, that she'd slept with a man while he manifested essence, her
selbram uncovered and exposed.  None of those conversations had a place
here.
   Zarina finished the statement for Soraya.  "She's been a true help to us
down at the temple house.  All that crap in the warehouse?  She put in her
own system for organizing things.  You wouldn't recognize it if you went in
there."
   "Staying out of trouble?"
   Zarina laughed.  "Yes.  Learning to move past her blood."
   "I'm expecting to see good things from you Soraya."
   "Thank you." Move past her blood?  Definitely a dig about her mother and
whatever she'd done to grant being kicked out from the family.  It must
have been terrible, since theft, drug use, philandering, bribery, adultery,
and dishonestly were all things a person could move beyond.
   No, that wouldn't be her.  Soraya could be loyal, just like she promised
- devoted to both the Oani and her family.
   Since her encounter with Omari, Soraya had been keeping close to home,
even spending extra time at work to make sure she was able to take care of
her client.  The only Sidra she spoke with was Zarina.  In time, the
bruises and whelps faded and any question as to what had happened to her
would be put aside.
   ***
   Soraya grinned and cradled the phone to her ear.  Meara, her childhood
friend, was on the other line.
   "It's been too long.  When was the last time we got together?"
   "After Amari." Soraya said.
   "Yeah.  How did you land?"
   "I went up to Kohia.  Get this.  She had family up here."
   "Relatives, you mean?"
   "No.  I mean a family, a huge one.  I took the bracelet with Araceli."
   "Araceli!  I'm happy, but I always hoped you'd be my sibling one day."
   "It was so unexpected.  I didn't get the chance to breathe.  I was here
and it was like being sucked into a vacuum."
   "The pull of power is magnificent isn't it?"
   "And more than a little disconcerting.  How have you been?"
   "About to give birth.  I'm a few months out."
   "You're pregnant?  That's wonderful."
   "I know.  Though I thought you'd have me beat by two or three at this
point."
   "Oh come on, I'm not even that old."
   "Old enough," Meara chuckled.  "You should get by to see me.  You're not
in shadow or anything are you?"
   "No.  I only picked my selbram a couple months ago."
   "Get by to see me before you go into shadow.  I miss my friend.  We'll
talk - and I'll be able to share some of those secrets you've always been
curious about."
   A knock came upon Soraya's door.
   "I've got to go but I'll talk to you soon."
   "All right love, bye."
   Soraya hung up her phone and went to the door.  It was a younger man, a
recent entry into the family under a Sidra she was less familiar with.
   "I have been sent to drive you over to Colin's.  For practice?"
   "Yes.  I need to get my things." Part of avoiding others had meant
staying away from Colin.  Though he made sure only to be around her when
there were other people using the studio.  Safety in numbers.  That he was
avoiding her meant that he detected something different about her and
sought to hide it.
   If it weren't for Colin's strange reaction, Soraya might have thought
she was going crazy.
   "Can I carry something for you?"
   "You can take this bag for me."
   "What do you play?"
   "I prefer the Kalmea electric when I can.  I use my Falsh when I can't
get any power."
   "Yeah, I learned on a Falsh.  A Kalmea though?  Sweet."
   "I got it as a graduation present.  Found it at a trade store.  I feel
bad for the person who let it slip away, but I got it for a song.  The shop
owner didn't know what he had."
   "I bet."
   She walked behind him.  If she placed a bet, she'd would have put one on
the fact that Nathan would have been at the table at Orbona's.  Even though
she hadn't had much time to meet him, he'd been hanging around at Zarina's
more often.  Showing up for half baked reasons.  Soraya had to give it to
him, he was subtle.
   "What do you play?"
   "A bit of the heavier stuff, even heavier than some of the festivals."
   "Nice.  Would love to hear you play.  You're always shut away in that
room, fingers flying away, eyes closed."
   "You know you've just admitted to staring at me, right?"
   He blushed and parked in the driveway.  "I did; I have been.  There's
something about you.  You get into my head." He turned the car off and went
around to open the passenger door.  He grabbed her bag and walked her
inside.
   Soraya went into the sound room and practiced as usual.  She felt good
about her progress.  A steady practice helped her get through the trickery
spots she hadn't been able to give her full attention.
   Her fingers ached before she opened her eyes.  She rubbed her thumb
against the tips of her fingers.  The clock behind her said she'd been
fretting away for the past two and a half hours.
   Soraya put her guitar away and walked out the sound room.
   She followed the sound of conversation into Nigel's entertainment room.
Nigel had a drum tucked under his arm on his thigh.  Nathan sat across from
him with a rhythm guitar.
   "You have to internalize the beat because when you've got a crowd, the
singing, and all the confusion, you may not be able to hear the drum.  Feel
it, know it, seek it out no matter what's going on around..." Nigel looked
up and waved Soraya into the room.  "You can plug in over there."
   Soraya set her bag down and unpacked her guitar.  She didn't play ritual
music.  She didn't even express an interest in being part of the band.  For
one, it seemed like a boys club, and playing music meant being stuck in a
chair for most of the day.
   She plugged in and sat with her guitar over her lap.  By the sound in
the house, they were the only ones around.  Her hands already ached from
practice, but she could go longer.
   "Got a song you like?"
   Nothing she thought they'd know.  Soraya rattled off some of her
favorite songs to play, especially ones that sounded far better with other
instruments.
   "Not everyone lives and breathes the family," Colin said.  "Drowning
Alone." He reached over for a different, lower sounding drum and counted
them in.
   It was as if her hands never hurt.  They played the intro and as was her
habit, Soraya set to singing the words.  As usual, she closed her eyes. 
Colin and Nathan were great accompaniment.
   Soraya blinked her eyes open.  "Thank you.  That was ...  really fun."
   "You don't ask for what you want enough.  You'll run yourself ragged
trying to stay in people pleaser mode the entire time."
   The words twisted and tears came faster.  She took off her guitar to
keep her tears from falling onto it.
   "Get some tissues," Colin said to Nathan.
   She accepted them and got her emotions under control.  "Sorry.  I don't
know why..."
   "No need to apologize.  That means you needed it just that much more."
   She grinned and nodded.  "Thank you."
   ***
   Soraya went out with Omari.  This was another gathering, but at a house
she hadn't been to before.  Most of these people seemed to be familiar with
the Oani.  She would hear the occasional spirit mentioned and a few of the
invocations.  The host had a beautiful, cozy home, a fire burned low in the
corner.  A delicious spread of food lay out for everyone.
   She picked out the various altars for the Oani, she seemed to have two
of them in the living room and one in the kitchen.  They were small, but
arranged and distinct from the other furniture and decorations of the
house.
   If it weren't for the fact that they were in a house, Soraya would have
assumed the place was a small temple house, where devotees could come and
provide sacrifice to the Oani.
   "How have you been?" Omari asked.
   Soraya took a deep breath.  How had she been?  "Emotionally torn.  I got
surprised by Colin, the Sidra who let me use his studio.  I came out of the
sound room and he and this other guy, who I think has been flirting with
me, jammed with me.  I haven't done that in so long.  I forgot how much I
loved it.  That was good, fun.  I can tell my family has been watching me
closely, but they have been ...  okay.  I'm being punished at work though.
I can't do all that work by myself.  I'm doing it, but, yeah.  And I'm just
kind of existing, treading water."
   "All you did there was tell the truth."
   "I don't know that.  I felt insane.  I don't even know why I said most
of that stuff.  Goodness, he never even denied it.  As for my family, they
have all been up tight because of the ceremony coming up.  I think they all
look at me funny, especially some of the Sidra.  And ...  my sight has been
weird."
   "What did they say about that?"
   "I haven't said a word.  There hasn't been a good time."
   Omari took her hand.  "Come on.  I want you to talk to someone."
   "Okay." Soraya took Omari's hand and they walked through the house out
into the back yard.  A young man sat out by a gazebo on the steps.
   "Pitar this is Soraya.  Soraya, Pitar.  Would you let him do a reading
for you?"
   "I'm," Soraya looked from Pitar to Omari.  I don't think I'm allowed."
   "He's good.  Let him.  Some outside insight wouldn't be a bad thing."
   Soraya smirked as she sat beside Pitar on the steps.  He was a tall,
thin man, with long legs, shaggy light colored hair.  "I'm pretty sure
outside insight can mess with things."
   "Like indoctrination?  Of course." Omari smirked back at her.
   "Do I have your permission to continue?" Pitar asked.
   "Yes." Soraya teased Omari about breaking the rules, but the truth was
that Deven hadn't been much help to her at all.  He watched her closely,
but when he told her what he was worried about it didn't ring true. 
Especially after talking to him a few days ago.
   Pitar reached under his shirt and pulled a threaded necklace up, tied at
the end of the loop was a small bag.  He opened the bag and small hollow
sounding disks rattled.  "Put your palm out for me."
   Soraya held her palm out and he set the bag into it, then placed his
palm over it.  After a few seconds, he withdrew his hand and the bag. 
Pitar poured a few of the disks into his hand, flattened them with his
finger.
   Using the gazebo light, he inclined his head from one side the other
until satisfied with the oracle.  He hummed and glanced up to Omari then he
turned his full attention to Soraya.
   "Have you talked to your vath about higher service?"
   "I'll be deemed ready for that when the time comes.  It's not for me to
decide."
   "This is true, but you forget another force that can decide."
   "The spirits will tell my vath."
   "And when your vath does not listen?"
   Soraya opened her mouth to counter such an outcome, but hadn't she just
been thinking about Deven's suspicious behavior, her own experiences?
   "You are being used, my dear, manipulated.  You need to press the issue.
You are being called to a higher service, and that call is loud and strong.
Ancient." Pitar's eyes flicked in Omari's direction for a moment.
   "What do you mean by ancient?"
   "The way the spirits did from the start.  Choose on their own, not wait
for intercession or permission, but some spirits come with the balance of
other Oani.  Talk to your vath, they will know what to do.  You know your
bracelet?"
   "Yes.  I didn't really before, but I think I get it now."
   "Then it is time.  Did you have any other questions?"
   "I've been," Soraya decided not to pull any punches.  "I have these
sexual urges and they ...  should I repress or follow them?"
   Pitar gathered his oracle and cast them again.  "What are you seeking to
do?  What goal are you trying to reach?"
   "I want to fulfill my oath to the spirits."
   Pitar looked to Omari.
   With a single nod, Omari headed back toward the thick of the party.
   Pitar cast the oracle again, touching them with the tip of his finger.
He leaned forward and Soraya matched the movement.  "This is not going to
be easy, but it is necessary.  There is more at work than your own path,
but events set into motion that you are being called to carry out.  When
you experience these episodes, think about how you experience it at the
time, the essence of it.  Is it more than just lust, separate from feelings
of love?"
   "Yes, very physical."
   "After you act on it, you learn something?"
   Soraya answered slowly, "Yes."
   "The information is what you seek, the reveal."
   "Panyu Shilza through Vonia." The first three selbram she'd picked
during her initiation.
   "Exactly.  You know, but the future scares you.  Something has caused
you to doubt that certainty."
   Soraya wrung her hands in her lap.
   "Your Paseb is," He looked down at the oracle then back to her.  "I
think you know the nature of your spirit, so here is my answer: follow the
instruction you've been given.  Oani Ustufu is not known for its mercy."
   "Thank you."
   "Go on now, enjoy yourself.  Allow pleasure into your life, and steep in
your fortune."
   ***
   "How did it go?" Omari held up a square piece of cake and plopped it
into her mouth.
   "He was super specific.  Did you tell him about me?"
   "I said I had someone who might want a reading from him tonight. 
Nothing more."
   "Wow."
   "Exactly.  I wanted you to experience a reading from someone with a
great deal of talent.  That will make it easier for you to spot when
something is off."
   Soraya chased after the pleasure of oblivion with relish, eating and
drinking from the banquet until color and sound blended like running
watercolors in her mind.  She danced to the music, the air seemed thick
around her body.  The air had its own sensation, almost lifting her and
carrying her with the melody.  She stumbled to the restroom, and held onto
the sink while the world spun around her.  She felt great even her her
balance was starting to suffer.  Giggling in fits the whole while, she
searched for Omari to hold him, smell him, taste him.
   ***
   Omari could sense her before she touched him.  He kept his back to her
because he wasn't sure how to react.  Doing nothing worked for him.
   She stepped beside him.  As beautiful as the day when she walked out of
his life.  Elegant, looking like thousands of dollars in her slinky cadet
blue cocktail dress and glittering stones around her neck.
   "Omari," she sang.  "How have you been?  You look delicious as ever."
   "I've been just fine.  How are you?"
   "I'm all right.  I've missed you."
   He rolled his eyes.
   "I missed you and I am here because I want to make it up to you.  I'm
sorry."
   Omari couldn't face her.  He might have walked back into her arms if he
lacked for other choices.  He'd been hurt by departure.  Just like Soraya,
he had been thrown into the mix with her when he needed to use her to take
down a con artist working in a charity organization.
   They had been together for a year.  When her crusade to 'expose' his
family, his rituals, and his calling failed, she walked away.
   Omari never professed to love her, but he had been comfortable with her.
Even when she had competed for his attention, he felt it came from a place
of genuine interest on her part and a desire to spend more time with him.
   "We can talk about it now, or we can talk about it along a walk
tomorrow?"
   "Why would I even think about you?" Where was he going to be when Soraya
did the same?  When she walked out of his life?
   Soraya, she reached out to grab the back of a chair as she weaved her
way through the crowd to him.  She was only a few steps away, but she
looked at him and then Liana.  "Are you busy?" He couldn't hear her, but he
read her lips.
   Omari shook his head and held out his hand.  She practically fell into
his embrace.
   "Didn't know you were baby sitting.  Does she need a ride home?"
   Omari grinned.  "She's with me."
   "For the night or for the task?"
   "It's got nothing to do with you."
   "You can have plenty to do with me.  Tonight, if you want."
   That's another thing about Liana.  She may have been aggressive,
possessive, and controlling, but she had her strengths.
   Omari focused on the day she made her ultimatum.  Either he stopped
giving his time to others, stopped acting on his urges, suppress his whims,
or she'd walk.
   By his whims she'd meant his avatar, his dedication and calling in life.
Liana was and always would be a Niralen.  She hadn't made the ultimatum in
jest.  She packed her things and left that evening.
   So what had brought her back now?  What had changed?
   "Tell me you need to speak with her and I'll go," said Soraya.
   "Where are you going to go?"
   "Just put me somewhere," she giggled.  "I'll be there when you get back,
but you have to come back." Soraya looked her up and down and that face
said everything even through the haze of her intoxication.
   "I need you right where you are." He whispered.
   "If you two are done whispering?  Darling, could you give me and Omari a
moment?  We have to talk seriously."
   Soraya rose her full height and put her arms around his waist.  She
licked his lip, then pressed her lips to his.  Omari picked her up, held
her and kissed her back.
   As serious moments went, Omari became caught in one.  He felt her
energy, stronger, wild, unleashed along with her inhibitions, bathing him
in power the way he was always doing to her.
   Omari carried her over to the couch and lay down with her on top of him.
There had been hurt and loss but she replaced it with joy, and he wouldn't
set her aside, not for a moment.  Even if she walked away, wanted nothing
more to do with him, he was not one to squander her gift.
   If he wasn't careful though, he'd end up taking her right here. 
Somehow, the thought didn't sober him like he wanted.
   "She hurt you," Soraya spoke right in his ear as she rubbed her body
against his.
   "Yes."
   Soraya sat up and back, straddling him.
   Liana was still there, unfazed by the open display of affection.  Liana
always had an unflappable confidence, and there was every reason for it. 
She was intelligent, beautiful, successful, and even a woman much younger
than her barely put a chink in her armor.
   Liana wasn't the only one looking.  Soraya had the kind of body that
could only be described as illicit.  Full and wide and curvy and so
inviting.  Liana had pose and elegance and the kind of physical shape meant
for posters and pageants.
   "Don't be vulgar," Liana rolled her eyes.
   "No, please do," someone called out.
   His call was met by others.
   She reached up and lifted her skirt, it was wide enough that when she
reached under and freed him from his pants, no one saw what Omari only had
to remember, being sheathed inside her her heat.
   Soraya leaned down and kissed him and looked over to Liana.  "Vulgarity
is one of my talents." She giggled then moaned as Omari thrust up into her.
   "You are so very talented," Omari moaned.
   She started out keeping up with the modesty, but by their second round
Omari and Soraya had become the talk of the party for weeks.
   ***
   No matter how many times Soraya recalled that weekend, she couldn't
bring herself to regret her behavior, not on the heels of Pitar advising
her to go with her feelings.  As intoxicated and altered as she was, she
could not help but to see and feel the old wound that woman caused. 
Goodness she was beautiful.  She looked like money and had the poise of a
movie star.  For all Soraya knew, the woman had been important.
   An old girlfriend.  She didn't ask, but she didn't have to.  She'd hurt
him and that was important.  It was important because she was going to be
the woman there who would soothe his ache and take his mind off her
presence, those cold and distant eyes.  If not forever then certainly for
the moment.
   It was late in the evening, most of the people there had been eating and
drinking more if not as much as she had.  Omari and Soraya set the tone
that led to the passionate festival of lust that everyone joined in.
   She woke up lying half on half off Omari, covers thrown over them, a
floor pillow tucked under his head.  As the sun rose other people woke in
disheveled states, trying to piece together the decadence of the night
before.
   "You are always welcome back," the host of the party told her.  "That
was the best."
   Many of the other guests echoed their happiness for the way the evening
turned out.  Why had they been thanking her?  What did she do?  Other than
take her clothes off first.
   "What's got you so deep in thought?" Colin waved a paint brush in her
face.  "Switch." He took her wide paint brush and handed her the thinner
one.  "Do the trim.  You won't mess it up as much as I would."
   Soraya moved over to the window trim and began to apply a new coat of
dark green paint to the outside of the warehouse.
   "Spill."
   "How would someone know if they are called to the Sidran?" Soraya asked.
   "Well, any Sidra could suspect, whether your vath or not.  The spirits
sometimes speak through those best able to listen.  However, the elder
Sidra makes the final reading.  An elder will go to a vath and usher them
through the process.  The person who served as your first and second vath
will soon become your siblings in a way, so your elder vath, and all the
elders become your mentor in a way." Colin crawled up the ladder.
   Colin had been trying to set up someone to play with her at least once a
week.  He had been keeping his distance from her, didn't look her in the
eye, didn't get too close, but in a way, Soraya understood and respected
that.  Even without her weird urges, she could see herself in the mirror.
Just a picture of her was enough to make a man uncomfortable.  Most people
acted that way around her, even without the complication of family or
responsibilities.
   Of course, he could have stayed away, but Soraya had a feeling that she
was being watched, like they were waiting for her to do or say something
off.  Maybe they wanted to make sure that whatever rebellious streak she
had wasn't catching.
   "Yes, but how would a devotee know?"
   "Hmm." The sounds of their brushes going back of forth continued
uninterrupted for several minutes.  He grabbed the paint tray and climbed
down the ladder.  He turned on the hose and washed it off before hanging it
to drip dry.  "A devotee will suspect when the Paseb speak through the
selbram, when there is clear evidence that the spirits have expressed a
desire to work through you.  Getting to know exactly who those spirits are
and how to best serve them is part of the process of being a Sidra."
   "Wait, so all that happens after taking the elements?"
   Colin nodded as he cleaned up their work space.
   "The spirits, that's how you're able to effect changes?"
   "Yes, with all of their help.  Sidran are taught how to manipulate
energies.  If you are called to do the same one day, these are lessons
you'd learn while in shadow."
   "Have any Sidran only ever had one Paseb?"
   Colin shook his head.  "No.  One is too dangerous.  It leads to
confusion and unbalance.  We don't allow that.  It's why you pick the triad
when you become a devotee.  Those are the three you know you will have. 
Many times, some Sidran learn to work with more than three, but you always
call on the spirits closest to you - the ones you wear around your power
circuit."
   Finished with the trim, Soraya helped him clean everything up and put it
away.  Other people were working in the back yard of the temple house. 
Hammers, nails, saws, the smell of paint and aerosol marked the eve of the
upcoming ceremony.  Not the harvest festival, but an initiation of a Sidra.
   The taking of the elements was the largest ceremony just behind a
festival.  Coming out of the shadow, the Sidra took the elements of their
principle Oani and are officially recognized as being a Sidra - able to
work the elements and perform tasks on their Paseb's behalf.  A Sidra would
also be able to recognize the Oani in others and become a vath, leading a
Niralen toward becoming a devotee and picking their selbram.  For that
reason a Sidra must become familiar with all the energies of Nysidra,
especially the crossing of Oani to form the oracle - all 36 crossed
energies that a Sidra used to communicate with the whole of Nysidra using
their oracle.
   "Why do you ask?" Colin didn't pose the question until they were in his
car.  He'd called practice early that day, including Soraya and then went
out with her to the warehouse.
   "Because I'm curious, and people say I should ask a Sidra about those
curiosities."
   He looked at her as if he was going to challenge her answer.  "Are you
able to control it?"
   What part of it was he talking about?  She wasn't supposed to be doing
anything, much less controlling it.  "It's less chaotic than it was at
first," she whispered.
   "Why aren't you talking to Deven about this?"
   "Because when I did, he gave me something that made me sick." Soraya
tightened her jaw.  Something had been off about him, and Deven seemed to
enjoy the distance she put between them.  Instead of going to his shop,
Soraya had been spending a greater part of her time with Colin.  Like
Nigel, he was clearly attracted to her, but unlike Nigel, he didn't give
in. He had been coaching her vocally and putting together jam sessions, and
now he seemed to be competing with Nigel for her time by taking up her
entire day.
   Colin was winning.  He walked her inside and set a beer out for her. 
Her bags and her guitar were still at his house, but the house was empty as
far as she could hear.
   Colin's attraction wasn't carnal.  He liked talking to her.  She could
see his weakness for music and sound and information.  Very much a Sidra of
Atraya.  Soraya grinned to herself, in his mind, Colin was probably quite
carnal.
   Soraya looked up and met Colin's eyes.  How long had he been looking at
her?
   "There you go, thinking to yourself again.  Care to share?"
   "I wonder what goes on in your mind."
   He nodded and set the beer down.  "I want you to show me something."
   Odd.  Soraya arched her brow.
   "I want you to sing." He walked her toward his back porch.  It was
screened in, but his yard was filled with trees and those trees were filled
with birds.  He hoisted her by the hips and set her on a stool.
   "Like a bird?" Soraya swung her legs back and forth.
   "Yes, if you don't mind."
   "I don't."
   Colin settled into a chair, closed his eyes.  "Anything you want."
   Soraya settled on a song and started, low.  She didn't have the greatest
voice in the world, but it wasn't like nails or chalkboard either.  As long
as she stayed within her range, which Colin helped her find, then she
didn't get too bad.
   The song was more sad and jazzy than she typically played, but she knew
Colin's affinity for the song.
   Given the lazy way he peered at her through his half closed eyes, he
appreciated the gesture.  He unzipped his pants and reached into his
underwear, rocking slightly in the chair, he began to stroke himself as she
sang.
   Now this had never happened before.  It was novel and weird and amusing
to her.  Soraya decided to try something different.  Could she put the
energy in her voice?  Atraya was not one of her strong suits.  She could
find the right words, but she usually relied on her body and her touch for
seduction.
   Usually.  The words brought Soraya amusement.  When had she ever seen
herself as seductive?  When had she ever thought herself a vixen or lustful
person?
   She could do Atraya.  It was there in her knowledge of technology and
electronics, all she had to do was transfer, pull on it and let it flow
from her lungs.
   When she did Colin's legs stretched out a little longer, his hips arched
upward and the slits of his eyes drifted shut.  His hand moved up and down
his shaft almost as if he were keeping beat with her words.  She used the
motion as her timing, until the motion began to get erratic, faster, and he
released into his hand.
   Soraya kept singing, only leaving a beat or two between songs, but she
kept the same energy in it, let her voice fall softer, almost like that
background music he likes to play through the house.  She didn't feel any
kind of pull or rise of energy, but he'd been resisting her, fighting her,
and now that he'd invited her here, alone, he must have thought he'd beaten
her.
   Soraya wanted to know exactly how much control she had.
   He walked over and parted her legs, and stood between her open thighs,
but he didn't make the last move.
   Words.  No dead silence.
   "I want you to take my clothes off, look at my body."
   He began to undress her, undoing buttons, pulling down her zipper.  She
stood and then the energy began to work in her favor, whispering those
secrets in her ear.  She couldn't play passive with him.  That's not what
he liked, vocal and knowledgeable.
   "You can use me however you want, any way that would bring you pleasure.
If you want me to suck your cock, I'll get you hard again."
   "What do you want?"
   "I told you.  I want ...  I want to be used, enjoyed."
   "What about your pleasure Soraya?  You have wants, needs."
   "I never said they weren't being met.  They are," she gasped as he
thrust inside her.  Colin didn't share Omari's girth, but he had the
length.
   "Who's fucking you?  Who put those bruises on you?"
   "Someone who knows," it was hard to talk, like the air was being stolen
from her.  The first threats of light headedness threatened and Soraya
realized what was going on.  She'd baited him into a fight and forgot he
was a Sidra.  His energy suffocated hers.
   Soraya gasped for air.  Her eyes watered as she regained her ability to
breath.
   He whispered in her ear.  "Careful who you play your games with."
   "Sorry, sir."
   "No, Soraya, don't be sorry." Both his hands clamped on her hips and
while he slammed into her, she couldn't breathe.  It was as if her hands
were clamped around her throat.  "Take a deep breath."
   The moment she was able to do it, it was like coming up for air.  Soraya
gasped and then her throat closed.
   When she could finally breathe again, she screamed.
   Colin came and put his finger to her lips.  She could breathe, but she
kept quiet.
   "I told you as a warning.  Control also means choosing when to use that
power." His brushed his finger back and forth along her lips.  "Without the
aid of the spirits, that power isn't as potent, is it?"
   "No, sir."
   "Why did you do it?" He sat down with her, and his hands caressed her
exposed breasts.
   "I wanted you to fuck me."
   "You could have just asked, Soraya.  No harm in a question.  Learn to
ask for what you want.  Open up to me." With a sigh he pointed to her
clothes.  "Get that pretty ass of yours home."
   ***
   Sidra Anton stared at the oracle lain out for a general reading.  He
wrote his impression down on paper, recording what he saw without giving it
any thought.  He worked in complete darkness, his hand moving along the
paper by instinct, not sight, the other hand moved over the rough knobs.
   When he viewed his paper in the light, the results were not pleasant. 
Anton read the results over and over, but he knew the conclusion would not
change.  The turn of fortune revealed discomfort, unveiling, disquiet, and
failed expectations and goals.
   He called a meeting with the other Sidra he had a close relationship
with: Colin, Deven, and Tallula.  He gathered them in the living room with
drinks.
"I called you all here because of my reading.  I need some other
impressions.  See what you all think.  Have any of you done opening
readings lately?"
   Tallula shook her head.  "I haven't had the time come around.  I prefer
to do my readings mid week, and I'm caught up with this confusion with
Tonya and that rental company she got mixed up with." She looked over to
Colin.  "I need to talk to you about that."
   Colin nodded and to Aton, he said, "I did my last one a couple weeks
ago."
   Deven dodged the question entirely, "What's going on?  We can be more
help if you'd let us know what you're hinting at."
   Anton set out the symbols.  "The same energies have been recurring,
gaining strength, finding new purpose.  It's happening inside the family,
spreading and growing strong like a storm."
   Tallula laughed.  She sat back and shook her head.  "Anton, you know how
to spin a tale.  Save it for the ceremony.  What do you think is going on?"
   "This is real.  I could feel it.  I still feel it.  Once you can key in
on the energy signature." Anton shook his head and looked to Colin and
Deven for support.
   Deven groaned, "Oani Ustufu.  You would be more sensitive to an
imbalance like that."
   "Yes.  Several energies, along with some Extreje and Oktodo."
   Deven steepled his fingers.  "Soraya."
   Talulla hummed and poured herself another glass of juice.  "She's a bit
of a whirlwind, but she's been getting along just fine.  She kicked up a
bit of dust, but we set her to rights."
   There was a knock on the door and Anton rose to answer it.
   "No one invited me to the party?" Nigel said with a grin.  "Well, I
guess I'll just take this food and--"
   "Quit yapping like a little dog and get in here.  Anton's in a mood."
Tallula stood and grabbed the dish.  "I'll fix the plates.  You go catch up
with the other hens."
   "Good to see you too." Nigel took a seat and looked around.  "What did I
miss?"
   "Anton had a reading that disturbed him."
   Nigel looked at Deven.
   "Yes."
   Anton looked back and forth between Deven and Nigel, he lowered his
voice to a whisper so that Tallula, moving things around in the kitchen
couldn't hear.  "You all know about this?"
   "The Ustufu, Extreje, other energies?" Nigel nodded at the recognition
in Anton's eyes.  "I've seen it in her.  She can--" Nigel shook his head.
"It doesn't matter what I say.  Hell, didn't matter when Deven said
anything.  You have to be in her presence to believe."
   "Believe what?" Tallula set down the large bowl of food and passed out
utensils.
   "That Soraya should take the elements." Nigel said.
   The room went quiet and Nigel looked around.  "That ...  isn't what
we're talking about?"
   "That's not even for us to decide or know." Tallula shook her head. 
"Take the elements.  Ridiculous."
   "If that's the way you feel," said Anton, "then why didn't you take this
to Morathi?"
   "Because they don't want to make complete fools out of themselves."
Tallula went back to eating.  "That girl will never take the element.  She
can't.  Deven, why are you feeding this?"
   "I'm not.  I saw the readings that said she was supposed to go into
shadow the moment I met her.  I've seen it since before she chose her
selbram.  It was far too soon.  Zarina had only just taken her on as
devotee."
   "Exactly, and she's barely got that much down yet.  I did not agree with
her taking the selbram."
   "Something had to be done.  I needed to access to her."
   "Access," Tallula grunted.  "If you wanted to lay with her there are
easier ways."
   "This is why we should take her to Morathi.  Tallula, you clearly don't
want to look into it."
   "Nothing to look into."
   "Nigel and I have been managing her." Deven inclined his head toward
Nigel.  "He seems to think I should stop and use her to our advantage."
   "Nigel?  Do I even want to know?" said Tallula.
   Anton's eyes kept widening.  His hair fanned out as he looked back and
forth.  "How long have you all known about this?"
   Nigel shook his head.  "I haven't seen her."
   Deven carried on, "Once I confirmed her connection to the spirit, I
worked to suppress it.  She needed to focus--"
   "She knew it!" Colin pointed at Deven.  "You haven't done a damn thing.
She stopped taking your shit when you gave her that silencer.  She doesn't
trust you.  You can't be managing too much if she won't even come to you
with her concerns."
   "A silencer, Deven?  Really?" Tallula shook her head.  "Without the
proper energies called down during ritual, that's just going to make her
sad and sick.  You only go through something like that when there's a
location or place of infection you can isolate her from," Tallula tisked.
"Not that you would know because it's not for you to do."
   Deven lowered his head.  "I know, but it was a risk I had to take.  I'm
her second vath and she poses a danger to the family.  You weren't there.
You don't know."
   "I know," Colin smirked and shook his head.
   "Bunch of babies.  Who is having the best success with her now?"
   "Nigel," said Deven.
   Nigel shook his head and pointed to Colin.
   "The three of us have worked together.  Like you said, we set her to
rights.  She's been far more of a help than a hinderance.  That whole thing
about the storm?  Maybe if we didn't see it coming.  We're in a position to
manager her.  That's what we should stick to."
   Tallula hummed while she ate.  "Anton, talk to her."
   "I don't think that's the best idea," said Deven.
   Tallula looked over to Deven.  "Well, it's a good thing you aren't his
elder.  I swear.  Can we focus on the ceremony coming up?  We need to put a
damn element on this turkey Nigel brought us."
   "Yeah, well that turkey is going to keep the house fed for years.  So
save it."
   ***
   "Looking sharp.  Are you coming to David's?" Egan stood in the doorway
of Omari's bedroom.
   "Yes."
   Egan looked at the time.  "Is she meeting us here?"
   Omari shook his head.  "Soraya won't be there."
   Egan wore a pained looked.
   "Don't bother, I've heard some version of what you're going to say all
week."
   "And you don't mind what happened, why?"
   "That my gorgeous girlfriend fucked me in a room full of spectators?"
   "And put to bed those rumors about you."
   "I've never been shy about that." Omari said.  "What's been up with
you?"
   "Nothing.  I'm good.  Got my own thing going on in Fire Bridge.  Same
shit with my dad."
   "If you need me let me know."
   "Nah, I'm just ready to cut loose for a day or two." Egan leaned back.
"Damon?  Come on, man."
   "What's the rush?  Soraya isn't even here yet."
   Damon stepped out finger combing his gel through his hair.
   "She's not coming."
   Damon frowned.  He looked like someone kicked his puppy.
   "Araceli has someone taking the elements this weekend.  Don't expect to
see her any time soon."
   "Can't believe you've been with her this long."
   "Why would he get rid of someone as special as her?" Damon snatched up
his keys.  "Might be awkward having to move in on your girl."
   "That won't be necessary," Omari said.
   "How long are you hanging out?  Want me to take you?" Damon asked.
   "No.  I have to go into work for a few hours.  I'll just be there to
make an appearance.  Keep up with a couple relationships."
   "Keeping Jerome honest," Egan said.
   They shared a laugh as they headed for the door.
   ***
   Elder Morathi had been with the family since he was a teenaged boy.  His
relatives had all been with Araceli.  Before the husk of childhood was
shed, almost all of his kin had taken the bracelet.  Morathi was the first
in his generation to make elder, however, a position he'd taken to with all
the gravity it required.
   "Give me your hand." Morathi inspected the selbram on Javier's bracelet.
Many of the beads appeared gray, transparent, or cracked.  He masked his
true emotions, easy when you were a devotee of the Oani Oktodo.  The
disappointment and anger did not read in his face.
   Something needed to be done, and quickly.
   "Go and put the liquid on your skin, head to toe.  Jessica, assist him.
Bring him back when it's done."
   As soon as Javier left the room, Anton, Colin, and Talulla hurried over.
   "What is it?" Tallula asked.
   "He's been tainted, and not a simple slip.  Two of the spirits have all
but abandoned him.  The other was well on its way."
   Tallula whispered a curse and paced the room wearing a frown.  "You mean
she was right?"
   "Talus' girl?" Morathi nodded.  He was oblivious to look the look of
shock on everyone but Tallula's face.  "If not about the specifics of his
transgression, then most certainly the fact of it."
   Morathi settled into a chair, deep in thought.  The researchers were out
there taking notes on the process.  Mason and his partner Karen were would
document and chart the public portion of the taking of the elements.  Fine
time for them to show up.  There couldn't be a worse candidate to audit for
the taking of the elements.
   He couldn't just turn Javier away.  He'd given too much to the house and
his continued support would help them more than hurt.  He already sat on
the council and his future position in the city government would go a long
way toward supporting the goals of the family.
   Araceli needed this ceremony.
   "She's been at the center of a Ustufu disturbance," Anton mumbled his
words, but even over the music and lively conversation taking place
outside, Morathi caught it.
   "You know the center of this imbalance?  How long?"
   All of their eyes went wide then their eyes turned toward Anton.
   Whispers.  Secrets.  A sickness hiding under the cover of unity.  Their
eyes turned to Anton, but he looked the most innocent of keeping the
secret.
   The look Morathi sent back to them asked why they hadn't done the same
thing.  "Whichever of you first knew the problem.  Why didn't you share
this with me?"
   Deven spoke up.  "We were waiting until after the ceremony."
   Talulla broke in.  "We didn't think it had to do with anything but
Soraya, given her heritage this doesn't surprise me."
   "It might be more than that," Deven shuffled his feet much like a young
child gathering the courage to confess his crime.
   "That's not about this.  Keep your mouth shut."
   "I want to hear it." Morathi looked to Deven and waited.
   "I apologize for not bringing it to you, elder.  I didn't trust my
reading.  I saw indications of spiritual contact, very soon after she took
the bracelet.  Only for that reason.  I did not know the circumstance of
her birth.  She had just become family.  No one knew her.  I gave her
something to explore the possible connection.  She's bonded despite my
attempt to part that connection."
   Morathi nodded.  The pieces were beginning to fit.  Elements that didn't
fit from the weeks prior found their focus in this moment.  "There is more
to it than what you have seen individually.  But no, we can't deal with her
now.  I have a more urgent problem.  We need this ceremony.  Eyes are
watching.  I will assign a forgiving Paseb, we still have a year to work
with him before he can even think of becoming a vath.  Tell Yolanda to
bring me an emergency ration.  She has some set aside for just such a
purpose."
   "You want to go through with it?"
   Morathi sighed heavily.  "The ceremony remains the same.  The Oani will
get their devotion and sacrifice.  Give extra given the situation, tell the
other Sidra to do the same."
   Tallula left to find Yolanda as Javier reentered the room.
   "Take off your bracelet." Morathi held his hand out for it.  "This
ceremony is being watched by people who will record and share their
experiences.  Do yourself and the family a favor: do not embarrass us."
   "Yes, elder.  I am sorry for my transgressions."
   Morathi held his hand up.  "Not here, Javier.  Let's get this ceremony
done with."
   ***
   Surrounded by laughter, upbeat music, happy people, the sudden anger
came as a shock.  It rose within like a lightning strike, sudden and
bright. He wiped the sweat from his brown with a trembling hand.  There was
nothing for him to be angry about, nothing he understood.
   "...  why I prefer to use the silicate rods, they yield a better result.
Omari uses them." Angela turned to him but Omari took a step back.
   "I need to step outside," Omari continued to back away from the
conversation toward the door.  He grabbed his jacket from the back of the
couch and put it on.
   "Omari?  Everything all right?" A soft voice spoke up.  The person
seemed to be following.  He put his hand up, warning whoever it was to keep
away from him.  His mind filled with visions of punching the person in the
face, kicking the door open, feeling the crunch of bone under his knuckles.
He countered each instance of fury, maintained his calm and distance.
   He walked all the way to his car and grabbed his oracle from the glove
compartment.
   Something was wrong and it wasn't with him.  The fury burning through
his body was a felt response from his avatar.  It must have been pretty
extreme for him to feel it even when he wasn't asking.
   "I am here and I am listening.  What do you have to say?" Omari poured
the disks out onto the cloth covering the sidewalk.
   Anger, betrayal, rage.  Injustice.
   Omari didn't need to read too much deeper.  Araceli, it had to be.  They
had been shown the error of their ways, they were continuing to put on a
false front rather than be shown as having a fault.  Now would have been
the perfect time to correct the error of their ways.
   "I can do a working to see this through.  We will figure this out.  I
will see to your vengeance.  Whatever you need me to do, whoever you need
to work through.  I am your servant, as ever.  I am around others now, and
it's hard to keep your rage separate from my actions."
   Omari closed his eyes and saw the working, what he needed to do, and it
wouldn't wait.
   "I am sworn to serve." He stood and pulled his ritual bag from the
trunk. He was a faithful servant, as ever.  He carried the bag into the
house and took one of the upstairs bathrooms opposite the active end of the
gathering.
   Using a grease stick, he drew the symbols needed.  He set out the tools,
the dish offering, said the words of invocation.
   As blood and soil sizzled in the dish, Omari felt the foreign anger
subside.  He washed his hands, cleaned his tools, and got his mind back on
the evening.
   He could do nothing more than he'd been called to for the moment.
   "Everything all right?" Sirah handed him a damp cloth with a concern
look.
   Omari wiped his damp forehead and shook his head.  "You have any red
tea?"
   "Yes, I'll make you a cup."
   ***
   It wasn't enough that Soraya saw things no one else could see, or that
she had energies fluctuating without warning.  Now her emotions were out of
whack.  The upbeat music and jubilant voices raised in praise to the Oani
could not soothe the irritation, anger, disbelief, and frustration.  She
couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong with the ceremony.  And
how would she know?  Soraya had never seen or attended the taking of the
elements.
   And yet, seconds before each portion of taking on the elements, Soraya
felt something was wrong.  The Oani must be in balance, reveal themselves
in a vacuum.  The elements were strangers to this man, had rejected him,
now in hubris he was presented as if he'd spent his time in shadow among
the pious and contemplative.
   One stage after another the feeling remained.  She kept herself still,
stopped singing.  She balled her hand into fists, but the nervous energy
only rose.  She ached to scream out, rush toward the center of the
ceremony.
   The bracelet containing his selbram had been passed through smoke,
covered in dirt, passed through blood and flames, dipped gelatin thick
waters, and it emerged.  Javier uncovered his bracelet and held it up for
the crowd to see.
   The energies Soraya had been fighting spiked, overwhelming her and
shorting her ability to do anything but act.  She barreled her way forward
through the crowd.
   "You do not deserve to wear a bracelet!" She bellowed.  "Those are not
your spirits.  Your spirits abandoned you in disgrace and disrespect. 
Money will not buy you favor with the Oani.  Wear that and the turmoil you
bring will be on your head!" She growled every word, but with the music and
singing and calls, her words were drowned, swallowed.  Most people didn't
hear her, but Javier did.  Javier and the elders with him, the Sidra
assisting.
   He appeared to be reading her lips, as if her words reached his mind
alone.
   "You dare to bear false witness before the Pasebs as if they would
ignore your disgrace."
   Someone yanked Soraya back, snatching her back into the crowd, through
them, and away from the ceremony.
   'As if I would not react.' Those were the words about to come out
Soraya's mouth.  And who the hell was she?  What was the matter of her? 
Was she sick?
   Soraya didn't say anything when her body was flung into a chair.  She
didn't want to look at the people who had removed her.  She didn't have
anything to say now.  She was left feeling cold and clammy, almost sick to
her stomach.
   She'd thrown a fit in the middle of a ceremony.
   Maybe that was how her mother earned her exile from the family.
   Soraya scrambled over to the waste basket and began to puke.
   Outside the music and singing continued.
   ***
   The researchers Mason and Karen didn't notice the girl's outburst
because Talulla had taken that time to explain something to them away from
the main crowd.  Their backs were turned when the distant growling began.
It sounded as if it might have been part of the ceremony.
   Karen turned and saw the girl speaking, but this far away she couldn't
tell what she was saying or what significance it had.
   "You'll see here is where we bright the energy down," Tallula explained.
   Karen attention returned to the table.  Knowing the Araceli, this part
was too confidential to risk having a witness.  She would have to ask Mason
about it later.
   ***
   Morathi had been the elder standing behind Javier when Talus' girl had
her outburst.  While others could pass her off as anything else, Morathi
knew of Talus' unique gift.  All of his children took the elements.  All of
them had a kinship with the Oani from an early age.  And when they were
manifesting the essence, those eyes would take on a light of their own.
   The very light in her bright verdant eyes.
   He'd felt the power coming from the girl, even during the height of
ceremony, that she could project such energy was harrowing.  She had a
connection with the spirit all right, but it wasn't one the family needed.
   "Soraya."
   "Elder Morthari," she whispered in response.  She looked pale and weak.
She hung over the arm of the chair when he entered, but now she pushed
herself upright.
   "I saw what happened." He held his hand up to keep her from speaking. 
"I know it wasn't your fault.  I understand what you're going through."
   She looked up at him with wide, hopeful eyes.
   That was a good sign.  It meant he could still save this young woman. 
"We have work to do, Soraya.  You will need to have this unbalancing
influence removed from your life.  Until such time, you will not attend any
ceremonies or rituals.  I can only enforce this regarding the family, but I
urge you to stay away from rituals of any kind."
   "I am the problem?"
   "The energies influencing you.  You are a force creating the winds of
destruction.  I will quiet that force until it stops using you." Morathi
sat down across from her.
   "Using me.  I'm being used." She rolled the words over, as if she'd
heard them before.
   Morathi nodded.
   "But I thought contact with a spirit indicated a person is to become a
Sidra?"
   "Sidra serve the Oani in service of a family, not just a single Paseb,
but a host."
   Anger flashed in her eyes.  "Or none at all."
   Javier.
   The spirit had truly bonded with her.  It's influence wasn't as strong,
but after a display like that it should be days before it could take her
over again.
   There could be no softening to his resolve if he was going to save her.
   "I'd like to explain the situation with Javier.  Perhaps you'd come to
the same conclusion."
   The door opened.  Elder Orbona entered with a small pot cradled in both
hands.
   Orbona didn't know the first thing about Javier, and unlike Soraya, if
she made a fuss, then that would be the end of Javier's membership in
Araceli, much less a Sidra.  Orbona wouldn't stop until everyone associated
with him was punished.
   "Later." Morathi beseeched her.
   Soraya stared at the pot and looked back to him.  "What if this
influence is my Paseb?  Why would you stop that?"
   "The Pasebs do not work to destroy your life.  The spirits of the Oani
are here to enlighten, support, and benefit you.  There is no gain from
bringing you such pain and confusion."
   "Bringing?  Try pointing out.  The Pasebs are spirits, spirits as
diverse and deep as people.  Sometimes they work through us, other times we
work through them.  It is a relationship.  All energies make up the Oani
and if you try to tease one out then the whole family will suffer."
   "Who told you this?" Orbona said.
   She didn't answer, even looked afraid as Orbona wrung a wet cloth into
the pot and began to wipe down Soraya's arms and face.
   "Soraya?  Who told you these things?"
   She shook her head and folded her hands in her lap.
   "You are a devotee, young woman.  Serve the Pasebs of your vath, not the
ones in your head." Morathi nodded to Orbona.  "Start the process."
   "What process?"
   "Take your clothes off." Orbona stated.  "You must be washed."
   Morathi got up to give them room.  He turned his back to them.  It had
to be done.
   <->
   Epilogue: Manifest essence is my rebranding of possession.  Calling down
the host, invocation, play acting, catching the holy ghost: none of it
seems different to me, other than the spirits involved.  Some spirits we
invite in, others make their home where they will.
Written: November 2013
   Contact: nysidra at hot mail dot com
  
Priestess_04