Author: Loving Hamster
Title: The older boy
Part: Part 1-2-3
Universe: Nolan Saga
Summary: A teenager has difficulty to cope with his homosexuality
and foot fetishism. He contemplates suicide, but finds himself
engaged in a strange relationship.
Keywords: nosex
Language: English

*****************
THE OLDER BOY
(c) by Loving Hamster

Chapters I, II and III

*** DISCLAIMER ***

Do not remove or modify this disclaimer. Please read carefully.

Check the themes below to see if this story is legal in your
country and at which age this story can be read.

Themes: male homosexuality (aged 14+), obsessive love, foot
fetishism, homophobia, suicide.

There is no explicit sexual content in chapters I to III. There
will be in the following chapters (IV and after)

Date: March 2015, version 2.3

The story and the characters are fiction. However, some events,
places and feelings are inspired from real situations.

STORY CODES: nosex

******************
Chapter I - Danny and Rob

It was a beautiful day, and the beginning of the summer holidays.
The sun was warm and gentle, the wind made the twigs shuffle in
the trees, and Danny had all the afternoon for himself to roam
freely in the neighborhood. This year had not been a pleasant
one. Among tricks hormons can play on a young teenager, he had a
broader panel than other boys. It started innocently enough.
There were nice people in his class. Very... nice. Mostly male.
Girls were annoying, scheming, possessive of their boyfriends.
They used senseless amounts of make-up and wore uncomfortable,
silly shoes. Boys were plain, simple, mostly honest. Many of
Danny's classmates were clean too, and they smelled naturally,
heavenly good. Danny was madly attracted by that smell. Or was it
a smell? It was more than a pleasant smell. This was the mark of
some godly power. It was not only a physical signal, but a
metaphysical property of individuals that seemed to deserve it:
the smart, the athletic, the smiling, the honest were the most
gifted.

Danny felt the heat of the concrete block invade his body. He was
lying there on his back, on the edge of the small city's stadium,
under the shade of a small elm. He knew the name of each tree. He
was the only one around to know them so good. At home he had a
lot of nature books and he had read them all. He could start to
be a naturalist walking the world around to collect small
treasures such as dried plants, shells, insects and minerals. Or
he could grab his camera and begin a huge collection of wildlife
photographs. But he would not. He could not think about it. He
could not enjoy it. There was only one he wanted. One he desired.
He was smart. He was athletic. He was smiling. He was honest. And
Danny wanted him. And he was really cute too, he thought.

The stadium was deserted, save for two kids playing around their
mom on the soccer grass. Here, on the red rubber tracks, they had
run together before the holidays: Danny, Christian, Nolan, Owen,
Max, Cyril, Jim and and Rob. Owen was the fastest. Always a short
pace behind was Gregor, Owen's most trusted friend. Both of them
were gorgeous, too, and hardened soccer players. Jim was a big
brute, a soccer player too. He was too big, and most of the time
smelling of sweat. Rob was not even third to cross the finish
most of the time, but anyway. He had this smile of his. He looked
always as if he had just combed his well-furnished hair after a
bath. Always neat, always cool and fresh. How many miles he ran
had no effect on him. His sweat was just pure water. His face was
always cool and relax, as if he just awakened from a short nap.

Danny closed his eyes. His legs still ached from the hard run he
had just endured. This summer training he imposed on himself was
really slow to bear fruit. Danny was not a lazy person. He was
swimming and riding his bicycle hours a day. But he could not
match any of these guys. Not even Rob. Rob never trained. But Rob
was just better, just like that. Rob did not wear these tennis or
running socks you can find in the sports shops. Despite being
nearly fifteen, he had just some kid's funny pictures on them.
There were the grey socks with a smiling funny worm, the green
ones with a cartoon dog, the yellow socks with red fringes, and
the black and grey with the blue sailboats on each side.

Danny sat on his elbows. After a grunt or two, he stood up
straight. This was painful. He had overstretched himself and was
not able to run anymore. He wobbled aimlessly on the running
tracks, still dreaming. He imagined himself in front of Rob's
cute face, with his long dark hair and blue eyes. He could not
imagine himself saying anything about it. This was just wrong.
Rob would never go astray for Danny. Rob is straight.

Danny was heading home when his cell phone rang. Tonight Max was
going to the swimming pool with Nolan and Rob and invited him to
come over. Danny did not panick. It was not the first time he
went to the swimming pool with these cool guys. Nolan was just
the most honest and discrete guy of the whole bunch, always
helpful when needed for homework or occasionally sharing his
experience on a good video game. Max was an occasional game
companion but not really reliable. He often cancelled visits at
the last minute or stopped playing a boardgame to rush to the
television for his favorite show, letting you down completely.
But today Danny felt strange about going to the swimming pool
with Rob. or the first time in his life, he realized he was going
to be forever a slave of his addiction to this wonderful and
mysterious friend, who had just appeared in his life a few months
ago. There was no turning back. Tonight he would suffer just
looking at him, and it grew worse on each passing day.

Robin, could you just know what I feel when I look at you, he
thought. Just know. I ask nothing else of you. Just know how I
suffer. I know you would not let anyone suffer, I know it in your
blue eyes, he thought bitterly.

But there were no words to tell such a thing to Rob.

**********************************
Chapter II - A disappearance

The evening at the swimming pool went uneventful. Danny was just
obsessed by Rob but tried his best to act just as normal. But
there was no fun. However after an hour or so Nolan went to him.
"We need to discuss." he said. By the intonation of his voice,
Danny knew he was going to be lectured about his behaviour. But
how the hell did Nolan knew about what he was just THINKING? That
could not be, unless he had read his thoughts.
Nolan took him apart and instructed him to wait for him into the
locker room. Danny was scared. He did not dare to change and
stayed in his swimming trunks, shivering. When the door finally
opened, he was dry from evaporation, except for his hair.
Danny's fear turned to terror when he saw Rob entering. He was in
his swimming trunks too, and by the look of his dry skin he must
have been out of the water for a long time. He was frowning and
looked disturbed, as if he had just had a long conversation in
which he learned a lot of distressing things. Danny could just
stare at Rob's feet. Nolan shortly followed Rob and both were
soon sitting close to him.

"Nolan told me everything." Rob said.

Danny was dumbfounded. He had said nothing to anyone.

"You know, this is not gonna work. I'm just trying to date Chloe
right now, and I really don't need you to interfere. I mean...
I'm just a straight guy, you know, I'm not into feet or other
guys or things like that. I just cannot do that."

"I didn't ask you anything", said Danny, who felt betrayed and
very humiliated.

"It's the way you look at me, man. It's very disturbing! People
are just beginning to wonder and to talk about it. If this
continues, I will be out of play. Chloe will just laugh at me.
I'll be finished just because of you!"

Rob's voice was cold and merciless. The foundations of Danny's
beliefs about him were shaken by a violent earthquake.

"Now you take your clothes out of here and go away, you faggot! I
will never get naked in front of you again!" Rob continued,
angry.

Shaking, Danny reached for his clothes. But Rob had not finished.

"And THIS..." he said waving his sock around "is not meant to
satisfy your fancies or fetish-thing or... whatever! Don't try
even to touch them or... just don't look at them! This is just
disgusting!"

Danny left the locker room, leaving a trail of falling underwear
behind him. He was crying and destroyed. His god Rob was gone. He
was empty.

Nolan followed him to the next door. At that hour of the night
the swimming pool was nearly deserted.

"I'm sorry" said Nolan. "I'm really sorry."

Nolan had picked up the dropped clothes from the tiled ground and
gently disposed them on the bench.

Danny was angry against Nolan but he had not the strenght to
fight. He just ignored him and got hastily dressed. Before he
knew it he was out in the fresh air of dusk.

In a heartbeat Nolan was out too, still half-naked in his trunks,
his back against the main doors, his arms crossed. He seemed
unhappy. But Danny did not notice him.

If someone saw Nolan at that instant, he would see a boy, about
the same age as Danny, with a soft, very pale white skin. His
dark brown black hair were thin and elegantly cropped, and parted
down in the middle. He had dark eyes of indefinite color, a thin
nose and chin. He was thin but not skinny, his body not too
muscular but rather light-framed. He looked just delicate.

Danny walked straight ahead. He did not go for home, but followed
the old rail tracks into the dark. The time passed without
counting. The night fell completely, with half a crescent moon.

After just more than a mile the old railroad tracks crossed the
river over a huge brick viaduct. Nolan followed behind him,
silent as a cat and still in his swimming trunks. When he
understood where they arrived, Nolan stepped up the pace.

Danny went straight to the highest point, where the viaduct
crossed the small river hundreds of feet below, among scattered
rocks and boulders. After a short hesitation due an instant of
intense fear, he stepped into the void.

He did not fall.

Dumbfounded, he noticed that a firm grip on his back prevented
him from splattering his bones on the stones below.

"Don�t." the voice of Nolan said.

It took a while for Danny to understand that he was not hanging
to a protruding hook, or a nail in the railing. It was Nolan's
grip. His strength was incredible.

Danny looked back. Nolan was pressed hard against the railing,
breathing hard. He was struggling to keep balance. The illusion
of an inhumane force disappeared and Danny tried to grab the wall
before they both fell to their death. Suddenly the rusted railing
failed and broke. Danny dropped ten inches and his clothes
scraped against the wall. Nolan cried in pain. Droplets of blood
dropped on Danny's face as he climbed his way back to life. With
a last grunt of effort, Nolan hoisted Danny to safety with his
left hand. While he wiped the blood from his face he saw Nolan's
right hand deeply scratched on some rusty remains of the old
railing. It was bleeding.

Danny quickly removed his T-shirt and rolled it around Nolan's
hand to quench the bleeding. "We go to the hospital" he simply
added. "Can you walk?"

"I have thorns in my feet" Nolan answered meekly.

"You want me to remove them?" Danny asked. Nolan nodded.

It was dark, but Danny could find most of the bramble thorns by
touch and gently remove them. He noticed how soft and sweet the
skin was. Danny proposed to give up his shoes, but Nolan proudly
declined. �Be careful of the thorns�, Danny instructed Nolan as
they headed back to the city. Nolan stumbled once or twice, and
Danny took his free hand in his to support him.

After a while they were back on firm ground, but Nolan's hand did
not leave his.

Soon they reached the hospital grounds, Nolan stopped. Danny
looked at his face, he was crying.

"May I kiss you?" Nolan asked.

Danny nodded, and they did it.

Danny lost the track of time as he felt dizzy like in a dream,
while Nolan was taken away by the doctors.

The next day, Nolan was not at school. He was not at home either.
He was not at the hospital. He and his father had disappeared (he
told one day that her mother had died a long time ago). But Danny
found a letter in his mailbox. It was not just a letter, but a
masterpiece. The paper was thick and expensive, the writing
exquisite calligraphy. "I must leave now. I would like to be with
you but I can't. I will be back when you have grown up. I hope
you will kiss me again. At least once. You owe me that. I love
you."

Nolan's disappearance wast just seen as a moving to another
house. No one at school did make a fuss about it. No one at
school knew what really happened. Only Danny was anxious.

Days passed, then weeks. Danny dreamed the last evening with
Nolan, the only he ever had, again and again.

Why did Nolan betray him? Why did he tell anything to Rob? Or did
he? Was he trying to help him? Maybe would he have said nothing,
events would have unfolded even worse. Now Rob was gone for good,
in his mind too. That was better, he thought. Rob wasn�t a good
guy. Not to him anyway. In just a few minutes Nolan had wiped the
illusion away, like a wizard.

Weeks became months, and Nolan became history. Months turned to
years, and history turned to legend. His legend. During five
years Danny began to hallucinate. First he saw Nolan in a
triathlon race. But he could not find him back in the crowd. Then
Danny began to attend triathlon races regularly, and he even
participated. But Nolan could not be found. Then he tried
marathon. Then he saw him again. But this was impossible. He just
looked too young. He resigned his search, but continued to run
marathons and triathlons. Then he saw him a third time, from
afar. He could not believe it. Maybe it was the same guy as
before, not Nolan but looking the same. But again, he could not
find him in the crowd to verify.

At 19, Danny had become one of the best marathoniens of the
country. He was admitted to university and was respected by all
his family and friends. Rob never spoke to him again, and Danny
did not miss him.

Nolan had not come back, and sometimes Danny could be found
crying, holding the mailbox where he found the letter.

*************************
Chapter III - A fantasy

Km 32 in the Nevada desert. Danny stopped at the next checkpoint
and grabbed a last refreshing drink. He was exhausted. The sun
was merciless and the temperature above 90 �F. He was about to
collapse on a rock and abandon this marathon for good when it
happened again.
His hearth missed a beat, then started again frantically. He
jumped on his feet and started running again. He went fast,
forcing his legs to obey. He reached the summit of the slope,
where the landscape opened again and offered a broad view of the
steppe ahead. This marathon was a cruel one, as the remaining 10
km were laid across a large, barren open land, baking in sun. The
road stretched for miles in a straight line, glittering as far as
the eye could see. Far, far away in the distance, all could see
the outskirts of Las Vegas where the race was supposed to end,
and far, far away in the distance, he could imagine the cheerings
of the crowd where the winners of the race where already standing
on the podium. He had seen him again, but now he could only see a
wave of runners. Nolan was lost, again. He climbed on the boulder
that marked the highest point on the road, put his hands in front
of his mouth like a megaphone and cried after him. He yelled and
howled, desperatly, he begged. But there was no one to answer. He
was alone. The 19 years old young man cried again, like a little
child who had lost his parents in the crowd. After standing for
several minutes alone on his rock, and feeling ridiculous, he
came back to earth, decided to end this madness and leave the
marathon world for good. Just as he started walking away, a voice
echoed behind him. Again.
"Stop whining, I'm just there." He was there indeed, his back on
the rock, but he was not Nolan. He was a competitor too. He had a
deep blue jersey with number 256 on it, matched culotte suit,
expensive brand running shoes and white running socks. His right
leg was folded backwards with his foot against the rock, his arms
crossed, and he frowned slightly, just as he wanted to look as
bored as possible. But he was LIKE Nolan. The resemblance was
striking.
The boy who looked like Nolan but who was not him presented his
hand.

�I'm Nicholas. Nice to meet you.�

�I'm Daniel� said Danny, dumbfounded. They shook hands shortly.

Nicky had deep blue eyes. So deep... and his face was a bit
harder, something faint, like he was frowning all the time.
Except for that, he was just like him. Or rather like Nolan was.
His dark hair, his smooth skin, his delicate nose and chin. Nicky
looked young, as young as Nolan was five years ago. As young as
Danny was when Nolan kissed him.
�Lets' walk� sait Nicky, �you don't want to make it worse.�

Danny followed. He did not dare to ask any question. he did not
want to say something wrong. Not now.

They headed towards the city, walking among the late runners, as
Nicky started to talk. �You had good chances of winning this
race. It's too bad you let yourself dehydrated. Would you have
drunk one more litre of water at the third check, you would be on
the podium right now.�
�Uh.... Yes, maybe.�

�This is aaaallll wasted� Nicky emphasized. �It will take you at
least a month to recover, you forced yourself much too much.�

�Oh... I won't ... I don't know.�

�You should. You don't plan enough. You don't have a proper
trainer. Why don't you have a trainer?�

�Because... I did not expect to win any races. That's not..
really the point.� said Danny.

�What's the point then?�

Nicky's question was inquisitive and unexpected. It took Danny by
surprise. Why was he talking to him and walking alongside him,
just as if they knew each other. Who's Nicky?? What is he doing
??? Danny wondered.

Nicky did not push the question, however, he fell silent, just
walking, a bit too fast for Danny's ruined legs. There were only
the four of them: Danny, Nicky, the road and the sun. All around
the rest of the crowd did not exist anymore.
Nicky still frowned. He looked disturbed and anxious. He went
even faster.

�Not so fast Nicky please..�

Nicky turned around. Still frowning, a quarter of a smile
appeared on his mouth. He looked disdainful, amused, anxious and
sad at the same time. He was beautiful.

�You're so young.� the teenager said to the young man. �You know
nothing. What shall we do?�

�You.. you know what I'm looking for, don't you??� Danny dared to
say.

�Oh yes....� Nicky looked at the sky.

�Do you know... where he is... now.. I mean.. you..�

�Yes, he's my brother... or just like it.�

�So you did not finish your race... Just for me... Thank you.�

Nicky bought a huge jug of water and shared it with Danny as they
walked. Danny cried again like a little child, of joy. Nicky
stopped frowning and smiled to him, and the walk to Las Vegas was
like a walk to heaven. They did not talk anymore. After a mile or
so Nicky convinced a woman to take them in her car for a trip to
the city. Nicky sit in the front seat and talked to her all the
time just like he was a truck driver himself while Danny was in
the backseat watching the crowd in the city streets and wondering
when he would see Nolan appear.

Finally they arrived at Rainbow Boulevard and went out of the
car, after giving warm thanks to the nice woman for the drive.

�Is someone waiting for you somewhere today?� asked Nicky.

�No, I'm all alone, I just need to attend a lesson at the campus
tomorrow. But now maybe I should collect my clothes at the
arrival.�

�Me too. So you're ready to follow me tonight and see Nolan and
... maybe we have a shower and have dinner have some fun and so
on?� he said in a voice so cute.

Right now Danny could follow him to the other side of the world.

This is a fantasy, he thought. I'm just dreaming. Shall I wake
up? Please don't wake me up....

(End of chapter 3)

To be continued...

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