Subject: Muse About Duane
Story Codes: nosex
Diary Date: August 27, 2008
Author: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
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!!!WARNING!!!!
This file contains sexually explicit material which may include graphic
depictions of underage, nonconsensual and unprotected sex as well as
incest, adultery, sodomy and bestiality. It is distributed on a website
clearly identified as "For Adults Only". Possession by a minor is
strictly forbidden. If you are not legally empowered to be in possession
of such material, do not read it and delete it immediately.
This work is copyrighted 2013 to the author. It may be posted to non-
commercial "free" sites, or in the "free" area of commercial sites so
long as no changes are made to the content and the Author information is
retained. Any other use of this work is by written permission of the
Author only.
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Summary
=======
Muse \Muse\, v. t.
1. To think on; to meditate on.
2. To wonder at. [Obs.]
Source: Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913)
Note: This is NOT a "stroke story" with lots of sex but rather just me
getting some things off my chest. If after reading it you have any
suggestions or comments as to what I should do, please send them to
me!
****************
One of the more frequent questions I get asked is whether my boyfriend
knows that my father fucks me. Of course, the answer has always been
"NO". I've never told anyone outside my family about such things except
for Beth, my best friend, who is for all practical purposes a member of
the family (including being the only girl outside our family my dad has
fucked since being married to my mom).
Following that question, I then typically get asked if I will continue to
have sex with my parents once I get married. Well, the answer to that is
an unequivocal "YES". I mean, how could I turn away my father just
because I got married? So long as he desires me and lusts for me, I will
NEVER say no to him and anyone who marries me will just have to accept
that. It's not at all like I would be cheating on my husband with
another man. I have sex with my dad because he is my father and he wants
me, not at all like me going out and seeking someone for my own pleasure
or fulfillment. Besides, while I would expect my husband to be totally
faithful to me, he would also be allowed to be with anyone in my family
as that would not be adultery so long as it remained within my own family
(or his if that should be the case).
From the natural progression of questions goes to when I would tell my
husband this "minor detail" about our marriage. Of course it would have
to be before we got married as this is not the sort of thing you spring
on a guy AFTER he has made a commitment. As my Aunt Linda proved, even
if he DOES know about it, it still doesn't guarantee it will work out. I
have always figured that I would wait until someone proposed to me and
make that a condition of my acceptance. That assumes I know him well
enough by then that I think he would agree with my conditions. If I
didn't think so, I would simply have to refuse his proposal.
Like many things in life, things get a bit more tricky when reality sets
in. For the past five months I've been dating the most wonderful man I
have ever known - Duane. We first "met", at least according to him and
Beth, years ago at a BJ party. It was the sort of thing where the girls
give all the guys blowjobs but they stay dressed and there is no sex
involved. Apparently I gave Duane the best BJ that night although to be
perfectly honest, there were so many guys that I didn't remember him.
You can't blame me when you're evening is spent with your face in one guy
or another's crotch. He was seeing other girls at the time (he is about
six years older than me) and I just became a fond memory, maybe good for
a jerk off or two.
After that he hooked up with my cousin Kristen at a few parties (as most
guys did sooner or later). It goes without saying they had sex since
that's Kristen's main objective on any date. What made it more
interesting was her mom took a liking to him as well. After my Aunt
Linda flirted with him enough, he ended up taking her out as well. It's
not like she was robbing the cradle or anything as he was 27 by then,
about ten years younger than her. Of course Kristen knew her mom was
going out with Duane AND what they did but Duane has always assumed his
tryst with my aunt was something Kristen didn't know about. I guess they
figured while it be a fantasy come true to be screwing a mother and her
daughter, might make him feel awkward to know they were both in on it.
It was back in mid-March and I had just quit my escorting job to take on
a position as a school teacher, my life-long dream. To celebrate, Beth
and I went out to a party and Duane was there. I didn't recognize him
and at the time, had no idea about his past relationships with my aunt
and cousin. Beth was friends with him and introduced us.
The rest, as they say, was history. I feel head over heels in love with
him. It was like being blind-sided by a Mack truck as I never saw it
coming. With the changes in my professional life, about the last thing
on my mind was finding a full-time boyfriend. Besides, it had been years
since I did anything more than casually date a guy. After some bad
experiences earlier in my life, I was always suspicious that guys just
wanted to go out with me to have sex, not because of ME. Not that I
didn't like it, mind you, but at the same time it wasn't the basis for
any sort of deeper relationship.
Duane, on the other hand, was so much different than any of the other
guys I dated. Sure, he liked having sex (I can't see myself going out
with some virgin, "waiting for marriage"), but at the same time, that's
not all we did. For the first time I went to movies with a guy and
actually WATCHED the entire movie. I could spend the evening with my
head in his lap and be happy keeping his zipper closed. I just enjoyed
being with him.
As summer progressed, I felt more and more like he was "the one". Of
course, while he knew my "reputation", he had no idea about what I did at
home. We never even discussed incest, even as a point of conversation,
let alone anything specific about me. We both got to know the other's
sexual history, sort of our way of clearing away any potential obstacles.
He was actually the one to tell me about my cousin and aunt, although he
didn't realize that they WERE my relatives until I told him. You can
imagine his shock at finding out they were related to me! Later, when I
griped at my cousin for not telling me herself when she knew who I was
dating, she just grinned and was more curious about Duane's reaction than
anything else.
Perhaps the biggest thing to happen was just recently when I learned
Duane was out looking at wedding rings (see my Diary entry for August
24th - The Jewelry Store Girl). He wasn't BUYING one yet but just the
fact he was apparently interested in them was like a wakeup jolt that
things might be getting serious sooner than later. Even though we had
been dating for only just over five months, I know I would accept if he
asked me to marry him. I'm not sure I want to be married right away but
then it takes a year sometimes or more to arrange a proper wedding, at
least the kind I have all planned out already.
So now I am facing the reality of what until now has been just a fantasy.
Do I want to wait until he proposes to tell him about my family? That's
always been an easy way to push aside the question but now I was
questioning the wisdom of such a move. He would be expecting an answer
from me, not a list of demands to be negotiated. The more I thought
about it, the more I wanted to be able to say yes when he asked me at
some romantic location to be his wife. Still, I remain 100% sure that I
need him to understand and agree about how our sex lives will be when we
are married.
So how do you tell the man of your dreams that after he marries you that
your father will be fucking you as well? It's not like I would expect
that he watch us or be obvious about it, unless, of course, he was into
that sort of thing. I figure it would be somewhat like my dad and Aunt
Linda had been over the years. They had been fucking each other since
high school and marrying her sister didn't change anything. Yet growing
up I had no idea he was doing her. It wasn't until I had sex with my own
parents that I learned about their intimacy with my aunt. If necessary,
I was prepared to be discrete if that made Duane feel better. I just
didn't want to do anything behind his back.
Just to reiterate myself as to my concept of sex and marriage (sorry if
this repeats other writings of mine but it seems necessary in this
context to be clear about this). When you marry someone, you pledge
yourself to that person and thus sex outside of marriage is a violation
of the ten commandments - "Thou shalt not commit adultery". I figure
anything big enough to get into the "top ten" of God's requirements for
us must be pretty important. Being so important, it's crucial to
understand where the boundaries are.
First, "sex" is the penetration of a woman's vagina by a man's penis.
Blow jobs, eating pussy, "massages", etc. are NOT technically sex and
thus are permitted between a married person and anyone else. Of course,
whether or not that is done needs to be agreed upon by the two partners
and most people would not feel comfortable with their spouse doing these
things with other people. While not "adultery", many people would still
consider it "cheating" which may be an offense to them if not to God.
Second, "marriage" is an act which unites not only two people, but their
immediate families as well. A family is the single most important group
and must always remain intact, even after marriage. When you marry
someone, you are in effect marrying their family as well. Marriages
which do not follow this concept are typically the ones that fail as they
lack the support and love that the family unit brings to its members.
Thus, having sex with members of your family is not adultery as it is
within the marriage "family".
So back to my question again, how do I explain this all to Duane without
him getting the wrong impression? Just look at all the porn movies and
internet sites that deal with incest. All of them make it out to be some
family orgy or something else perverted. Look in the newspapers when
incest is reported and it's more a report of child abuse under the false
pretense of "true" incest.
You never hear anything about the families where incest is properly
practiced because they don't want the world to know about it. Take my
family, for instance. I can guarantee that while our neighbors may think
of me as being a bit on the slutty side, NONE of them would ever have any
reason to suspect my dad fucks me almost every morning I am home. If
more people knew about the love and bonding that takes place in a family
such as mine, I would think that incest would not be such a taboo topic.
Soooooo, do I just look him the eyes one night and tell him something
like, "By the way, did I ever tell you my dad has been fucking me since I
was sixteen and still does - and will even after I am married? Oh, and
also that my mom can't wait for me to get married so my new husband can
fuck her?" Oh yeah, I'm sure THAT method would go over well. Obviously
something a little more subtle is required.
One thought was to make use of the fact that most guys aren't thinking
too clearly after they have sex. I learned early that if I wanted
something from my dad that I knew he wasn't too obliged to agree with,
that if I waited until he fucked me and then immediately asked him that
usually I got my way. It's like when the cum something happens to numb
their brains for a little while, perhaps one of the reasons so many guys
go from horny animal to sleeping soundly in a matter of minutes.
By this reasoning, I would fuck Duane's brains out, making the effect as
powerful as possible, and then while he was in a daze, tell him what I
needed to tell him. Of course, later on it would sink in what he had
been told, but it would give time for it to filter inward and then slowly
be recognized as he regained his full faculties once again. This plan
has the benefit of having some great sex at the onset, but there's always
that risk that the shock would be enough to drive away the mist in his
head and lead to a powerful reaction.
Another idea of mine was to write him a letter, explaining what the
situation was. AT least then he would have time to mull over the
situation. On the one hand, it might give him time to come to grips with
it and accept it. On the other, without me there to temper his reaction,
it could also give him time to work up to the boiling point if he doesn't
like what he reads. This idea has too much potential for disaster.
In a more fantasy world, I would let him "accidentally" catch my dad
fucking me. Of course, the ultimate fantasy would be to have a situation
where my dad and us were in the room watching TV or something and I just
went to my dad and started sucking his cock right in front of Duane.
While this might be a great idea to masturbate over, I can't see it as
being anything but a fantasy.
A more sneaky approach might be to have my best friend Beth tell him
under the guise that she knew he was getting serious about me and she
felt that he needed to know some things about me that he wasn't aware of.
While this would be the "easiest" for me as I wouldn't have to face Duane
when he found out the truth, my fear is that he would feel I was hiding
something from him and resent me for it.
So I was stuck in this quandary, not knowing what to do. My fear was
growing that he would pop the question and I wouldn't have a plan. Then
I was contacted by Heather, a professional sex therapist. She was a
"fan" of my web site and while not interested in incest for her own life,
she did have considerable experience dealing with incest "victims" as was
interested in me as apparently she had little to no experience with
anyone where incest was making a positive impact on their lives.
After some e-mails and chats, I brought up this topic with her and we had
some interesting discussions. It was really helpful to discuss this with
someone who was trying to have cybersex or otherwise come on to me.
Heather and I had a frank, open discussion and in the end I think we came
up with something together that might work.
What I am leaning to now is to use the relationship Duane already has
with my Aunt Linda and cousin Kristen to my advantage. Clearly he has no
issue with having sex with them, something that he would be permitted to
continue after we got married. My thought was to break the news to him
about their true mother- daughter relationship first, and see how he
reacts to that before going any further. Who know, maybe even get him
involved in a mother-daughter threesome. He had already realized the
male fantasy of fucking both a mother and her daughter, I doubted he
would object to expanding that fantasy to include fucking them at the
same time. Assuming he was OK with one situation of a mother and
daughter having sex together, he wouldn't be as surprised to learn that
my mother and I did also.
The next step would be to somehow insert me into the picture. He has
already seen me and Kristen playing together at parties but he most
likely just put that off as something we did at parties to turn on the
guys more than anything else. I've never met a guy yet who didn't love
watching two girls having sex and he knew I got off on men watching me
with other girls, including Kristen. What I needed to do was show him it
wasn't something I did in the heat of the moment of a party but also in
the intimacy of a bedroom at home.
From there, I would have to bring in my aunt so he saw that I was also
having sex with her. This would likely be a much greater shock than
anything I did with Linda but there was least a little separation in that
she was my aunt - not quite the same as if she was my own mother.
From there the decision would be whether to reveal my girl-girl
relationships included my mother as well, or jump straight to my dad. So
far I am leaning to including my mother as it would just be a natural
extension of being with her sister, The trick is that even if he were to
see her with me, he couldn't fuck he because we weren't married yet. I
guess this would offer him the potential reward of marrying me - getting
my mothering bed as well.
At first I thought if he knew my mother and I were sex partners, then it
would be OK to let him know my dad did as well but I might get cold feet
and go off on a little detour first. Again, Aunt Linda and Kristen would
be the keys. Just as I introduced my mom through them, I think it would
be best to do the same with my dad, letting him see that my dad fucks his
niece and sister-in-law. This would be the first big test. Girl-on-girl
is "normal for most guys that watch a lot of porn (Duane is one of them)
so even thought it was my mom and her sister and niece, it would be
within the realms of possibility for him, I'm sure. "Real" sex, though,
between my dad and aunt/cousin, would be a whole different thing. His
reaction to that would be very telling to me as to whether I go the next,
and final step.
I still haven't decided how to break it to Duane that my dad fucks me,
even if all the previous "steps" go as planned. Would I have to let him
actually see my dad fuck me to make him believe it? Would watching me
with my dad actually help him to understand that it wasn't about being
lovers with my dad and that it would not be cheating on him when my dad
fucked me? Would I be better off just telling him about it and waiting
for his reaction before ever letting him watch? Hopefully by the time I
worked my way to that final stage I would have the answers.
So imagine you are in my shoes. Twenty three years old, settling into
the teaching position you always wanted to have (even if not at the
school and salary you had hoped for). Madly in love with the most
wonderful guy you'd ever met. Holding within you a secret that could
either make your marriage stronger or tear it apart before it ever
begins. What would you do if you were me? Do you think I have a good
plan? How do you think he will react?
I called this entry a "muse" because it is about something that I have
been pondering and dwelling upon almost all the time lately. Hopefully I
need to act soon as the last thing I want to happen now is for him to
propose to me before he knows all about me - and I mean, ALL about me.
Any idea I may have had in the past about waiting until he proposes is
out the window so far as I am concerned. I know he wants to marry me and
that soon he will ask me to be his wife. I need to make sure he is fully
aware of what it means to marry me. He already thinks of me as being
special, what will he say when he learns just how special I am?
Any thoughts from anyone?
THE END