Subject:     Growing Up as a Straight Pedo 
Story Codes: Mg
Author:      Jules Peterson<address withheld by request>
Posted By:   Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>

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                              !!!WARNING!!!!

This file contains sexually explicit material which may include graphic 
depictions of underage, nonconsensual and unprotected sex as well as 
incest, adultery, sodomy and bestiality.  It is distributed on a website 
clearly identified as "For Adults Only".  Possession by a minor is 
strictly forbidden.  If you are not legally empowered to be in possession 
of such material, do not read it and delete it immediately.

This work is copyrighted 2013 to the author. It may be posted to non- 
commercial "free" sites, or in the "free" area of commercial sites so 
long as no changes are made to the content and the Author information is 
retained.   Any other use of this work is by written permission of the 
Author only.

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Hi Kelly,

I finally made it to mail you to say a big "Thank you" for your page! In 
my eyes it’s a blessing for the world. Its educational and really shows 
more opinions (or grey zones) then the "public" "one" too risky themes 
such as incest. I always try to look at both sides of a coin.

Besides its of... practical use (i.e. educational*g*) I got pretty hot 
while surfing it. As well as your diary or friends stories, or the 
tributes got me pretty hot. I name it because I normally don't get too 
excited with adult stuff, but you got me anyway (well on more than one 
time :p). Another thing I want to thank you for is the time and 
work/effort you put into the site! I understand that it’s something you 
wouldn't do if you wouldn't like it, but there must be a lot of time you 
invest selflessly for other people. <3

You seem always interested in other people to write something about 
themselves. So here you get me :) I am a 32 yo normal guy from Europe 
(not England so excuse me for bad grammar or some... unique errors). 
Well, maybe not that normal...

I call myself to be a straight pedo, sexually fantasizing mostly about 
the really lil ones from 2-6. But I have to add that there are many more 
facets to me. I am pretty open about almost everything sexual (well snuff 
is my absolute no go). I wanked in foreign homes, played with my bottom 
hole (to the point that it should be fistable (sorry I know you don't 
like it, I hope it’s not too disgusting for you to read about it)), I 
even tasted my own piss and shit, I traveled to look for other porn then 
available here, I did stuff with a 50+ year-old gay pedo (one of the best 
souls on this planet!), I have some slut tendencies myself. Well there is 
much more. As I said there are many many more colors in me then just 
black or white. ********************* Some of this you might not 
believe... I don't care. It's true. It's me. I must have started to 
masturbate when I was 2 or 3 yo. Even before my first memory of anything 
(which I find amazing/wild). I did it laying on my tummy using my hand or 
stuffed animals to get off. I am still using this technique, even I am 32 
now. I never.. NEVER had an orgasm being hard (I tried in my teens and 
even faked an orgasm after wanking for an hour or so one time). I never 
heard of another guy like that but anyway. I can get hard, but wanking 
the usual way doesn’t give me much. One of my first memories of myself is 
that I was wanking in bed and the doorbell rang. My brother asked me to 
stop wanking because he awaited a friend from school. My brother is 3,5 
years older than me so that event must have taken place when I was 3 or 4 
yo. Btw. I didn't stop and his friend laughed at me which made me feel 
bad. Imagine a 3 yo totally focused on his lust humping his hand and 
being so horny not able or willing to stop. At ~ 25 I learned from a 
cousin that he saw me wanking when I was super lil and that he will never 
forget my little body humping my palm or whatever it must have looked 
like. He also laughed at me, that is what I assume the way he talked 
about it. I think this event took place before the one mentioned above so 
I think I must have started with 2 or 3 years of age.

BTW my brother used the same technique but we can't say who started who 
or where we got it from. He has no problems with women as far as I know 
(btw you would love his cock, its 8 inches long as far as I remember, 
mine is ok too with at least 6 inches) or with cumming erect. The time 
when I was between 6 and 10 my brother and I went to a place for kids 
where you could hang out outside or inside doing stuff from building our 
own huts (? small 1 room "houses") outdoor to playing cards indoors. Most 
of the time I had a girlfriend there (95% of the time it was just one 
girl - the girl of my life maybe *g*). It was the usual stuff I guess, 
kissing, laying naked together, and especially kissing! One time we did a 
5 minute kiss in the middle of a huge cross-way without separating our 
lips a single second, so we must have had some observers as all the cars 
drove by. 

On an occasion we were on a playground, a really small one but it had a 
one stock building to it where toys were locked. She talked me into 
climbing on the roof and cuddle there in the nude. People who walked the 
path witch lead through the park and was directly behind the building 
could easily see us. 

Some years ago I went there and was shocked when I learned that the place 
where we might have laid on the roof and the path were separated only by 
not much more than 5 yards. I couldn't believe it and got very horny! It 
must have been a totally beautiful sight for the passing people seeing us 
so intimate, it wasn't sex but I would still call it intimate. On a 
vacation with this "place for kids" which I described above I had the 
chance to shower with two beautiful girls my age, which was probably 8 or 
9. Some of us were playing spin-the-bottle or truth or dare, I cannot 
remember correctly. There was this girl which I didn't know (she was with 
our group on vacation but I had never seen her at the.. club) but she 
talked me into having a shower with her. I was very reluctant because I 
didn't want to cheat on my girlfriend but as typical me I can't say no 
and in the end she won. I was very nervous when I went to the shower on 
the scheduled time, imagine my surprise when I saw not only her in there 
but my girlfriend too! It is one of my favorite memories of my childhood 
really. I had absolutely no clue what to do so the girls directed me to 
the shower. It was a 2 people shower with a lockable door to the main 
corridor which meant we had some time. We agreed to swap partners, which 
meant I had the privilege to switch while one girl had to shower alone. 
The deal was one girl had the period until the shower stopped - it had 
some kind of timer. 

What we did was cuddling and kissing. The girls were naked but I was too 
shy on my own to get naked too so I started showering in my bathing trunk 
until my girlfriend said something about it and basically talked  me into 
taking it off. You must understand the I was awfully shy and very bad 
educated in the sex related themes. The main reason for my shyness must 
be the 2 events mentioned above when 2 people laughed at me seeing me 
wanking. 

After that I was much more discreet and I started hiding it from 
strangers. I don't know why nobody felt responsible to educate me, do the 
flowers and the bees talk with me but nobody did. I got pieces here and 
there but I never related my masturbation sessions (which I did on a 
daily basis most of the time from at least 5 or 6, maybe younger) with my 
girlfriend. Which is, looking at it now, a tragedy! It was ALWAYS her who 
initiated anything ... interesting. And we really did some stuff over the 
years! There are so many passed opportunities with her it almost hurt now 
sensing now what we could have done then! For example I remember one time 
with her on the "place for kids" on a weekend day. The place was closed 
but we climbed over the fence to have the huge outdoor area for us alone. 
The outdoor area was separated from the nearby park by only the mentioned 
fence and a bank/barrage (?) with bushes and trees on it so nobody from 
the park could see into the area. 

It was a warm summer day and we walked around aimlessly, going into 
various huts but not knowing what to do so finally we ended up on a 
wracked truck. We laid down on the expanse (?) above the rear tires and 
got naked. My girlfriend seemed to like this a lot since it was again her 
idea, but I wasn't complaining. Yes I was shy but that doesn't mean I 
didn't like it! I laid down but she said that she had to lay below and I 
needed to be above her because the girl always is below while the boy is 
always above! It is just like that! That’s what she said. Imagine what we 
could have done then just with a little more KNOWLEDGE on my side :( But 
cuddling and kissing and nothing more is still beautiful! On the other 
hand it really........really could have happened more then. .. :( It 
never crossed my mind that she could touch me and give my young cock good 
feelings or that I could touch her just the same to give her beautiful 
child vagina the attention it deserved! I know that she had not only 
approved but would have really appreciated it! 

So back to the shower! We showered that way, me switching girls every 
minute or so, for over 15 minutes, maybe 30 I don't know.. At one point I 
felt bad for them because I never had to be alone like they had every so 
often. So I had the idea that the girls kiss each other the next round 
and I would only watch. Only watch. Today I would die to watch something 
like that! Especially with this circumstances and being so close! The 
other girl would have tried it, but unfortunately my girlfriend said that 
she wasn't gay and wouldn't do it. I tried to coax her into it but she 
just wouldn't do it. The next day I found her in a bad mood alone in the 
hallway. I sat next to her to comfort her but she wouldn't really let me. 
It came eventually out that she was jealous because of the shower event. 
Well who can blame her, I took the other girl in my arms caressed her 
back with my hands and kissed her the same way like my girlfriend. I even 
had my eyes closed. 

It’s just strange that she approved at the beginning of the shower event, 
I asked explicitly if it was ok with her. Maybe it was because of me 
kissing the other girl just exactly the same way as kissing her. Anyway 
it was the last day there and things went back to normal if I remember 
correctly after we were home. At ~10 we separated. I quit going there but 
I was hurt and every time I saw her for the next +6 years I fell in love 
again. At 11 porn movies (which we... borrowed from some of our parents) 
made the round. I remember "Diamond Babys" - rich appearing American 
environment where they had to hide the diamonds in their pussies or 
something. In another flick they had full plate knight armors which could 
produce a plastic hard-on. Of course the women in the film made good use 
of this practical phenomenon! 

At 12 I realized I liked the naturally blank pussies the most. Yes, I was 
a 12yo pedo. I remember a very... unique event when I was 13. We lived in 
a flat of a multifamily house which was every house near. Every house was 
directly on the sidewalk. Most or nearly all were built so you couldn't 
easily look into the windows of the lowest flat. Well, there was one flat 
which hadn't this feature. The view was blocked by jalousies/sun-blinds 
but on one window there was maybe an inch at the bottom where the 
jalousie was just too short. EVERY time I passed the window there was a 
guy watching TV. EVERY time. (well I just went that direction later on 
days). I started wondering about this guy. 

Days passed, weeks passed, he was there, and I thought about him. So what 
I did one day was knocking on his window and asking him if he wanted a 
blowjob. It was super strange and I may have shivered a bit. He was 
totally confused. I don't think anybody had ever knocked on his window 
before. And that such a request. Well, he looked stunned, took a look to 
the left, took a look to the right, said that I was crazy and went back 
to his TV :) Well I really don't know what made me do it. But it didn't 
bother me much - he was just the man in front of his TV or something like 
that.. 

Well what is strange to this situation is, I never met him on the street 
(as far as I know, but it wasn't like I looked him right in the face when 
I made my offer - I sure was kind of embarrassed!) BUT!... well, I this 
will need an explanation. My house and his house were on the same block, 
more or less opposite of each other. To his house was an old and closed 
mini-gas-station were they sold one or two used/repaired cars in the 
driveway. Behind - so to the middle of our block - was an old 5 or 6 
level high car park house. That must be where they earned money because 
some day they build another VERY nice multifamily house there. 

So now back to the story :) I always thought of HIM as the owner of the 
place, having the flat right next to the old gas station. I don't know if 
he was and I never saw him again after that strange move of me asking 
him, a complete stranger, if he wanted a blowjob. Anyway, there was this 
new house someday (I forgot it was years later that they built it) and it 
had beautifully penthouse like flats a the top (I am not so good with the 
rich-people stuff, so when does the flat at the top of a house become a 
penthouse?). And our flat was a the first level. And I had the room 
facing to the center of the block. AND I had no cover over the top of my 
two big windows. There was maybe 1 1/2 to 2 feet space. He owner. Nice 
Penthouse. More or less  unblocked view into my room from there. 

Well maybe I pushed this part a little but try to imagine my situation. I 
did something strange which didn’t bother me too much in the end at the 
age of 13, I thought I would never see him again except maybe him in 
front of his TV. But then the view into my room. Kind of hard to 
transport but I let like this... whatever... :) Incest! at ~12 or 13: I 
touched my mother’s boobs and fantasized about being with my dad. Well 
more like checking him out then fantasizing but still I felt very 
attracted to him on one totally random occasion. 

The thing with my mom was strange. Normal people shake hands when they 
meet. Parents and their kids may hug each other. I wanted to try 
something new and thought it was funny. She slapped my check the instant 
I touched her. It was the only time that she hit me and it really was 
automatically :) She took me into the bed to cuddle with me, I was still 
confused so I didn't try my new greeting style again :) This were my 
closest incest happenings with my parents. I wish we were closer now. The 
next year +/- the catastrophe happened. My parents died when I was 14. 
This is not something I would relate to an erotic site, but I remember 
your diary entry "Memories of My Mom". 

Well, me and my parents weren't really close. Than the last 2 or 3 years 
before their passing they started the separation process by arguing 
louder and longer and stuff. I just wanted them to be together, so I 
think each dispute putting me more and more away from them emotionally. I 
never cried one tear. I still love them, and did back then, but true love 
is something else . Well it is true love, but it is just not as strong as 
I think it should be or I would like to feel it. So when I read your 
entry about your mom my eyes went wet. It makes my heart melt its so 
beautiful. It makes me kind of envy, but in a positive way where I just 
feel totally happy FOR you that you feel so much love for her. I would 
have never thought about someone being with her dad, feeling him inside 
after such a tragedy would be the most comfort situation for her that she 
could imagine. 

Your life is a gift Kelly. It has obstacles but in the end who hasn't? I 
absolutely love this diary entry and that you were able to write it shows 
how strong you are, and how strong your love for your mother is. And for 
me: I can only learn from it and make it better if I ever start a family 
of my own so thank you so much for it! <3 Back to my (semi) sex live: 
When I was 15 I had a gay experience with a long term friend (I see him 
still today every now and then). He was 16 at that time and had a 
beautiful cock! It was like my brothers somewhere around 8 inches. He 
warmed me up on the one or other sleep/wankover we did more or less 
regularly at that time. So one night we were at his location with another 
friend, drinking bear and trying to be funny. When we got into the bed 
all 3 started wanking together. Somehow he offered my his dick to lick, 
which I did... with the idea that it should be more gross for him anyhow. 
I think I just didn't see the woods with all the trees in the way. Well I 
wanted to give the 3rd guy a high five for my cool move.. When he 
educated me about what really happened I had the laughter on my side I 
guess :( :-)

Some minutes later my friend, the host, told us that we shouldn't wank in 
the room because when his parents might come in it wouldn't be cool with 
our 3 cocks out. So he had the idea to wank in the bathroom so we can 
lock the door. BUT, and that was his tricky trick, he told us that the 
bathroom was too small for 3 people and he asked us who wanted to company 
him. I wasn't slow on that one so I answered the same instant he finished 
his question. Guy 3 must have had an idea what may happen there but we 
didn't care. We went in, he offered it to me and I took it like it would 
be my last one, not the first one. I didn't know anything about technique 
but I sure scored good with eagerness! When he was close he wanted to put 
it out of my mouth but I held it firmly and sprayed most of it in my 
mouth.. I think.. :) 

Well I was way drunk and threw up later but at that moment I wanted 
nothing more than fishing it properly, drink his cum, milk his hard 
beautifully cock. I was the total cock-whore at that night and it was 
kind of beautiful. I never was like that again, but I sure felt the need 
to be with his cock again from time to time over the years. This lust for 
cock and being a total slut on occasions was what I could partly relate 
in your diary entries. Partly because I don't have that much a drive to 
be with others and I am way not as experienced as you. But I can relate 
and that, plus your site or incest background, makes me horny ready adult 
porn, well, your adult porn. Plus you seem so real and normal, just 
living live like it should or could be. Beautiful! <3 ya for being you :) 
So the next night he slept at my place but when we started wanking and I 
mentioned that I wanted (to suck) his cock he was just grossed out. So 
that was that. It never happened again. 

When I was 15 (maybe 14 but more like 15) I started to stimulate my 
behind, err sorry asshole. I figured if girls could get of on that - the 
girls in the porn flicks we still shared always did! - then way couldn't 
I? Well god didn't give me a front hole, but that doesn't mean I couldn't 
try the one I had! The first time I just used one screwdriver handle, the 
next time I used 3 - well in the end. I quickly fell in love with the 
feeling of being stretched down there and it made me cum super-fast and 
intensive. 

For the next 10 years I would do it more or less regularly, stretching it 
more and more. I used more and more a baseball bat which isn't easy for a 
flatwanker laying on the bed, tummy down, having to use your feet because 
you couldn't grip it right with the hands in that position. I have some 
problems describing here but what I remember was the heavy weight of the 
bat that manipulated me in a way it felt really good! So anyway, the next 
thing may have been the nudism magazines which were sold here in regular 
stores. They were full of nude children playing or just being nudist. I 
noticed them first at my early teens, maybe at 12 I don't remember. I 
stood there in the public subway station in front of a kiosk trying to 
look at the cover while trying not being watched doing so. If you ever 
saw counterfeit, I sure was at those moments when I stealthed around 
kiosks with a big blinking Las Vegas sign above me which read "I REALLY 
DO NOTHING UNUSUAL! PLEASE LOOK SOMEWHERE ELSE! PRETTY PLEEEEEASE!" 

I never brought up the courage to buy them as an underager myself. Kind 
of strange because they WERE full of nude kids! Anyway, I did buy my 
first magazine when I became 18, so that nobody, especially the shopman, 
couldn't say anything! And boy did I like it! Mhhh! Up to then I used my 
biology book - well at the end it was reduced to 2 pages but anyway, they 
had nudes too. All the pretty ones having fun in the sun were my physical 
stimulation till they forbid it in 2000 I think :( I had family in 
another part of the country. It took half a day to drive there but I did 
it every summer for a couple of years. I did it because they were super 
friendly and nice and sweet and, well, my aunt had two children and I 
must confess that it manipulated my vacation plans since I was always 
welcomed there. They were mixed, one older brother at 12 and an 8 year 
old cutie. 

I was 17 the first time we were there. They had a female cousin who was 
12 or 13 then. The 8 yo was just super cute but my fear to be labeled a 
pedo made me avoid her. Well let’s say not avoid her but not showing her 
ANY interest at all. I had much fun with the boy playing soccer or video 
games and that was ok too really. Their cousin was a real tease! She 
flirted with me a lot, especially the 2nd year I went there. That year 
she cuddled with me and kissed me fully on the lips one time but she 
backed away laughing when I brought some tongue to dinner. She was really 
fun to be around that year (well at 15 she was just annoying, and when 
mentioned some rasistic comments it was a very hard turn off so I avoided 
her as best I could!). 

One time we went to an open air bath we fooled around just having fun. 
She was on top of me, me letting her have control. We were as publicly 
intimate as one could get around maybe hundreds of people, but then 
suddenly my aunt came around unexpectedly! She saw us before we saw her 
so she got a good picture of us having fun. When my little angle saw her 
she literally jumped off of me and we just played the innocent like 
nothing happened. My aunt didn't say anything, she was cool. But I think 
2 years later she had arranged something for her dad so he could check me 
out. We were alone in my aunt’s house and he was asking questions, talked 
about politics (he seemed to be more on the liberal side I don’t know) 
and some other nonsense. To be honest, I felt -> . <- this small + hat. 
Needless to say he talked +95%. I didn't even see his daughter that year, 
not even once. Also within my 2nd vacation there did a really strange 
thing happen! The 9 yo and the 13 yo were sitting in the living room 
watching TV while the adults were sitting in the kitchen discussing 
something. 

From time to time I could hear strange noise from the living room which 
was directly oversee the kitchen. I finally went there to check and when 
I entered the room I couldn't believe my eyes. On the big TV screen of 
the family living room was nothing else then a hard core adult porn. A 
look to the right showed to little innocent angels on the couch, one 9 
years old, the other 13. The older angel held the remote-control 
innocently in her hand. Both smiling at me. I was like super shocked and 
couldn't believe it. So in the I tried to convince them that what they 
did was super dangerous because all the responsible adults were nearly as 
close to the TV as the original watchers. They were just in the next 
fucking room. It turned out that they wouldn't listen to me because 
exactly that was the point of the action. The risk. They told me they 
would just sap to a different channel if anybody else would come in. I 
left them there, it was too dangerous for me. Like I told before, I 
really feared that pedo label. Nobody should ever even guess that I am 
SUCH a person. Fear. I fled to the kitchen. 

Kelly I need a break, it took me nearly 6h to write that, I planned 1! 
Well there isn't that much to come I am sure it will take its time 
nonetheless :/ But I wanted to write down some of it anyway for a long 
time. Well I hope that its written readable, I am not very confident in 
my English writing skills. The 2nd half isn't proofread so I hope you had 
fun :p What to expect in the next part? A close up view of a 2 1/2 yo 
pussy, legs spread of curse, a very sensual gay experience with an +50 yo 
gaypedo and f.e. my 16 yo girlfriend. 

*********************

It turned out that they wouldn't listen to me because exactly that was 
the point of the action. The risk. They told me they would just sap to a 
different channel if anybody else would come in. I left them there, it 
was too dangerous for me. Like I told before, I really feared that pedo 
label. Nobody should ever even guess that I am SUCH a person. Fear. I 
fled to the kitchen. - What else do I remember from that vacations? 2 
funny things: First both girls spied on me one time when I was using the 
bathroom. They knew I knew but they wouldn't stop for a long time. I 
didn't flash or anything, being the good boy I am. Later the older cousin 
did a sleepover at the younger one - they lived in the same house, owned 
by their granddad. I assumed they face-fucked each other, at least that 
was what happened in my fantasy that night. To be honest, I think they at 
least masturbated together or something. The 13 yo really had slut 
potential at that time, flirting heavy to the point that she kissed me (I 
was like 5 years older +/- ) and having in mind the porno watching 
scene... I am sure they did at least something after spying on me for so 
long.

The second thing I remember took place ~ 2 years later. I think the lil 
one was 10 at that time, which made me probably 19 or 20. My aunt had 
built a house just maybe 100-200 yards from her father’s home away. It 
was a beautiful one and completely made of wood. The kids... to help 
remember you: they were boy and girl maybe 3-4 years apart. Anyway they 
shared a balcony to the front-side of the house which I thought of a 
really cute! Anyway I was alone at the house one day, well I alone more 
often, especially when school was and my aunt had to work. So anyway that 
one time I decided to be a bad boy.. I went to the room of the daughter, 
opened it shyly and entered. It was pretty ordinary (?), everything was 
in place. Which wasn't a good thing because it intimidated me since I 
didn't want to raise suspicions when I should put something out of place 
or whatever. Well I finally made it to her dresser and I of course 
searched for the panties, which I found. Well, I am embarrassed to say, 
but I sniffed fresh panties! It didn't get me horny though but I am happy 
that I did it. I am always willing to try something new, especially 
something naughty like stealthing in a lil girls room and sniff one of 
her panties!:) 

BTW: I wasn't picky, I took the one on top. When I was 24 my aunt and her 
bff went all the way up to visit us which was really sweet of her! I 
think her bff was kind of a slut but I have no proof of that. They both 
must have been around 37-40 and were very beautiful women! So one time we 
went out to a.. club or bar and a group of very young Asian girls 
entered.. All around from 14-16 I guess. One of them obviously had her 
birthday and they were celebrating it. My aunt made a comment if I liked 
them. I was reluctant/shy as always but finally I said yes. Well I have 
to add for some reason my aunt always had the feeling that I was younger. 
I don't know why because I visited her with my car so I had to be at 
least 18 (we don’t get driving licenses before 18). To remember: I 
visited her at least for 5 years in a row once every year when I was 
between 17 and 21 or so. At least once at each of the last 3 visits she 
said that she wished that I would visit her with my "own little 
girlfriend" one day. 

Well back to the bar. Young girls entered. My aunt and her bff checked 
them out and then tried to talk me into going to them and ask the 
birthday girl for a dance or at least go there and congratulate. I of 
course couldn't do it, too shy and well they were really young. Too young 
for me to do something in public. The funny thing is that her daughter 
was now 14 herself and over the days of my aunts stay I had the feeling 
she would like me to be her daughters first or at least something in that 
direction. I have no evidence and YES I am perv but who knows. She saw me 
with her 13 yo niece at the local open air bath and how she and I were in 
general when together. 

Damn I forgot this: When the niece was 13 me and my cousin bond her at a 
chair with a tow rope (she was sometimes a pain so we had to do something 
about that *g*). I told it my aunt and she was surprised and was like 
"but you didn't do anything with her did you?". Of course we didn't and I 
was a little hurt that she would even consider something like that. But 
anyway there were things like that which made me wonder if she would like 
me to be her daughters first. I never visited her again mostly because I 
could no longer afford such a long travel. There was a lot of potential 
at that part of my life.  

At 20 I regularly visited nearby porn shops. Some/most selling nudism 
vids with naked children. All very innocent but 1000 times better than an 
adult porn for me! I went to wanking.. I mean video booths. On the one 
hand it was stupid of me doing such a thing since I couldn't cum when 
hard. Getting off in such a tiny booth was just not really possible and I 
never did. But boy did I become turned on sometimes! Well a very view of 
these tapes "smuggled" short close-ups into it and to be honest, I didn't 
care about abuse or anything, seeing a sweet pussy and my being alone was 
really hot. 

Well abuse... it was just someone zooming in from maybe 30 yards away on 
a nudist beach. Well it is abuse, but not one he deserves the death 
penalty if you ask me. Anyway it made me horny and when I was home I 
usually didn't need much rubbing to get off. So one time at such a shop, 
it was maybe 30 mins before closing time, the salesman started to pull 
out his dick and wank to the porn flick they showed on a big TV. Well, he 
was like me not huge, maybe 45 years old and had a little tummy. I didn't 
mention I am a tummy guy! Maybe that’s why I like babyfat so much, or 
maybe it's the other way round.. :) Tummys can be at least as erotic as 
an ass for me! Well it has to be a certain type but I feel very attracted 
to some of them! 

That’s when I feel attracted to adults most. They usually are between 35 
and maybe 45 and have some kind of... I call it teacher look though it 
does not exist one or maybe just for me :p Taste isn't easy to describe 
but I like a little tummy better then slender ones. I get angry every 
time someone says something like "fat cow" about someone else even when 
she indeed is a fat cow :p People are not tolerant, everything which 
isn't top is just ugly. I always say better 10 pound too much then 5 to 
less (?)!

Well so I was in the shop and he jerked off. After 1 or 2 minutes of 
collection courage I just said openly "If you like I could suck it for 
you" and that was it. He closed the door and we laid down on the floor. 
We 69ed for some minutes and he mentioned that I have a beautiful cock 
which was nice to hear. I didn't praise his though because it was just my 
second one. Well we came to the point where we both wanted him to fuck 
me. He just took a condom from the sales desk, now that was practical 
being there! It nearly made up for the hard floor I thought then. He 
brought himself into position and I had no fear or anything even if it 
was my first real one in there. His dick was just normal size and I had 
bigger things in me at that time. So he slowly put pressure onto my hole 
and it progressed super slowly. 

I decided to help him pushed back hard and then all of a sudden a 
piercing pain flooded me. Argh it was so strong I couldn't try again. In 
fact I left 5 minutes later excusing for not finishing him which bothered 
me some. I don't know what happened there really. I never had something 
like this at home and really I had bigger things up my ass then his dick. 
What a shame! At 21 I met my first real girlfriend since the one I parted 
with at 10. She was 16 years old with dirty blond hair looked super cute 
and even one or two years younger. Maybe one. We hit off really well and 
were deeply in love at the beginning. Biggest problem though: she didn't 
like sex at all! She did not masturbate "I just don't feel anything" 
which is a sin if you ask me. There was me fucking myself since I was a 
tod and then her not getting anything out of it. 

She was so tolerant to let me try stuff such like touching/rubbing her 
pussy and even licking it but it wouldn't give her any sexual pleasure. 
At one point she offered my to fuck her but to please use a condom since 
she didn't want to become pregnant. I declined angrily (because I thought 
it would still be rape since she would do it only for me) and went home 
to jerk off. Well I was just 21, my parents died when I was 14, I was 
hiding my pedo side from everyone since I was 12 and at 21 you aren't 
that far out of puberty. I really messed up or could at least handle some 
things with her differently. Well at least I learned! I broke up with her 
after just 3 month. I searched for excused but at the end it was because 
of the sex. What I will never forget are the endless times snuggling and 
cuddling. We both were cuddlers I thing and loved it a lot.

I was slow with her, maybe I could have been slower I don't know. Its 
hard to say since she really wasn't interested in sex. Maybe she had 
issues, she never told me about other than that she was seeing a 
counselor once every week. I don't know if that was related to her "sex 
problems". Anyway, her loss *evilgrin* But we really loved each other! At 
20 I ignored an "I want to sleep with you" offer from one of my 
classmates. It was near the end of the school year. She was after my-
best-friend-of-the-class (mbfotc for short!) from the beginning. We 
developed a bound over time and she called me her big brother several 
times. 

We had a party at one classmates home one day. He threw up big time! The 
house was a single standing one family home with a garden. We grilled at 
the beginning then went downstairs to raid the party cellar. It had a 
nice bar and a sweet sitting corner with couches and stuff. My "new" 
sister and I were sitting next to each other and at one point she 
whispered her off into my ear. That I just ignored her because of 
whatever is wrong with me just upsets me still today. Even a cold "no" 
would have been a thousand times better then ignoring her. Today I think 
I feared my too tight foreskin could hurt too much I don't know... BTW: 
she was 17, large but thin as a spaghetti and super cute (for her age!). 
BTW² in the same class but early in the school year we had a similar 
party at a girl’s family house. 

There was a girl from our class who turned out to be a real slut! She 
tried everyone and everything to get laid and she did! Wow I would have 
liked to be with her too. She was 17 I think and a little smaller then me 
(I am around 5 feet 8-9 inches). She definitely was a cutie, but nowhere 
in an innocent way. She did it with one of the cool pot smokers, who was 
into hip hop, in a corner of the garden. The problem was that after that 
she started to run around the neighborhood screaming that she is 
pregnant, crying all the time and just acting completely crazy! The boy 
started his best to calm her down, to be there for her but it wouldn't 
help. She drove to a hospital with an ambulance and nobody of us could 
understand what happened with her! The only clue I have now is that she 
got knocked up by her dad and needed an official father so she acted 
totally stupid after the sex at the party! She came back to school after 
some days out with bandages around both her wrists. 

After 2 or 3 days she didn't come back again. Super strange story. Such 
slutty behavior and then this ending... At 25 I did some sort of 
compulsory community service so I didn't need to go to the army. Killing 
people isn't just my thing after what happened with my parents. 

It lasted ~ a year and most of the time I had the pleasure to being with 
children which I enjoyed immensely! I had to help them in school, just in 
general. For some I had to change diapers too which I didn't abuse. Apart 
from the moral issue I am not into 3 hours old piss soaked skin. Most of 
them were boys anyway! :) One time I had a super cute boy who was 9. It 
was so fun to be around him plus the other kids of the class who had some 
really cute girls too! Unfortunately my favorite girl from the optical 
point of view was a total bitch! I hated her after the first day. What a 
cunt! 

One girl though, she was a little bit small for her age which I 
appreciated, threw her arms around me one in front of the whole class, 
teachers included. I tried to look not too excited but I smiled at least 
which was a step forward considering my fears. The boy I was 
escorting/supervising sat in a wheelchair because he couldn't hardly move 
his lags. Do you remember from old films the ugly retainers which had 
framework (?) outside of the mouth? Everybody was freaked out by this 
horrible things! So my boy had something similar, but just for his whole 
body! It looked gross! But he had it to help steady his body. He had some 
special programs, and in one he got crutches and should learn to walk on 
his own. Not that much but just practice. 

At one point he collapsed crying so I took him in my arms and did my best 
to comfort him. Besides my nasty fantasies I have my problems handling 
crying children. I feel so helpless and it just hurts myself when they 
do.. They are so cute they don't deserve to cry. I am really touched by a 
crying child, at least when I am close by and it’s not from a commercial 
to collect money. Anyway I had to comfort him, right there in the middle 
of the school. Anybody could come out and see me there with this child 
but I had at least a good excuse. I really had trouble with my fears 
that’s why I mention it. It was a beautiful moment though even that it 
was really a sad event. 

What got me pride was what all the teachers and adults from the school 
said about me when my time there was over. Everybody made good comments 
and one teacher from the neighbor class even hinted that there are way 
too few male teachers around. Since I was just a fill in for 3 weeks, 
every one suggested that I take over till my overall time was over. 
Everyone was for it, except the boy himself so I just couldn't do it, 
even if some said I should do it anyway. Well things turned out that the 
other guy wasn't that great in the end and he apologized which was sweet 
but I made him to promise me that he should work on their relationship. 
All in all a very good experience for me where I got some confidence. I 
think I am pretty good with children myself except I have a lack to play 
the responsible adult very well. I just want to be friends with them and 
have some fun and not be stern. I like to be more or less even, on eye 
level with them, not watching them from my kings-throne of adultness and 
bitch them around, knowing everything better etc. On the other hand I can 
understand that parents have to be stern from time to time, and teachers 
too. But most of the time I feel sorry for the kids who just didn't know 
any better or just wanted to have fun.

On another occasion I had a beautiful experience with a cute girl, 
somewhere between 8-10. I worked with/for an adult this time. He drove 
being tired and ended on a big tree. So here a warning to never make fun 
of disabled people, it can happen to anybody and the ones born with it 
couldn't do anything about it anyway. Well he lived in a sort of flat 
sharing environment where everybody had their own flat but would share 
the big kitchen and one big community room. One of his flatmates was 
someone who took the wrong drugs with the wrong people. He thought the 
train would drive right through him, which it didn't. It’s really sad 
because he has a beautiful wife and in my eyes a much more beautiful 
daughter of.. let’s say 9. He was disabled to the point where he could 
only move his head. 

So one time I did a smoking break at the community table where the sweet 
girl and her mother where sitting. I ended up playing cards with the 
girl. After one round she wanted to change the rules and thought about 
it. Well the rules she worked out wouldn't work and I told her. She 
didn't want to know anything what I told her so I just shook my shoulders 
and played her game. When she realized it indeed wouldn't work she was 
speechless for a moment. Well I just forgot what I said but I didn't make 
fun of her or anything. Maybe I suggested just a little change to her 
rules so it would work or something like that. 

Anyway what I will not forget is that after that her mother got big round 
eyes and really check me out right there and then. Maybe not the sexual 
checkout you get from guys but anyway it felt really good. So I feel now 
more or less confident in me being around kids and thinking that I have 
some sort of talent. I don't say that I do everything best, but this is 
just something I do better than other things, well I hope at least. Just 
after that year I felt the need to communicate so I wrote a letter to our 
official sex department or whatever it was. They wrote back and suggested 
to try out a pedo self-help group/support group (?) with turned out to be 
a little like the AA's or something like that. The... "leader" was a cute 
50 year old guy who checked me out on a dinner. They did it primary to 
make it saver for the members, their privacy is really important since 
the anti pedo hype reached levels I sometimes compare to the WWII stuff 
they did with the jews. 

I have the impression that most people wouldn't mind if everybody with 
dirty thought should put in KZ´s and die a painful death. Anyway, this 
guy was really nice just from the start. First we walked around for a 
while and then went to dinner to talk some more. Eventually I became a 
member and joined the small group. We were more or less 10 people, and 
most (8 out of 10) were gaypedos :( I don't get why? Maybe most straight 
guys think they are normal or just could marry a woman and try to forget 
their desires I don't know. But there I was, a minority in a pedo group. 
It was great anyway since everybody was nice and friendly. They were 
really nice people as far as I can tell! As one example there was one guy 
who was more or less open about his sexual preferences with close friends 
and even neighbors. He planned to do some coaching at an event of a shop 
which sold model planes and stuff. So he asked the group if he should 
tell the owner of the shop of his pedo side. He didn't want to risk the 
shop owners reputation behind his back. Well too much thought on his side 
I think but anyway a sweet move to even consider an outing to a strange 
to kind of protect him. 

As I said, everybody seemed nice. At the end of each meeting we went to a 
local restaurant to finish the evening in a nice atmosphere, which was a 
nice touch as I like good food anyway :) We had the holy rule to under 
any circumstances never ever bring anything with us which was in any kind 
questionable, especially photos. Breaking that rule would result in 
sacking (?) from our group. So one time a member brought self-made pencil 
drawings with him. They were of nude or half nude boys (maybe around 10-
12 year olds but I wasn't that interested so I forgot). They were 
innocent, no provocation poses or stiffies or anything. Just plane nudes. 
Anyway our leader wasn't too happy but made an exception this time, 
mainly because it was art and it turned out that half the conversation 
about it was about technic anyway. 

So when we sat outdoors at a nice Italian restaurant, the owner wasn't 
that nice but the food was ok, he took out his small book with the 
drawings and it made the round. When the waitress came along to take our 
orders she noticed the book and asked to look at it. She was like "that’s 
really nice" and some other encouraging comments and asked if he would 
draw her too. He just said no :) Well he WAS gay.. She was maybe 22-24, 
tall and slender and over all really good looking but he just wouldn't do 
it. She was mini-pissed for a second but that was it and she went in to 
torture the cook with our order. I felt very exposed when she looked at 
the drawings. They were innocent but yet WHO would HAVE such drawings? I 
was a little bit embarrassed!

The group was good for me because I could talk to likeminded people 
openly. It helped me a lot to see certain things a certain way, for 
example that fantasies are ok and healthy and nothing to be ashamed for. 
I was practically raised by the newspaper when it came to my pedo 
education. It at least manipulated my fantasies. Being "raised" by the 
newspaper isn't nice for your karma in my opinion. You get the wrong 
impression about your soul. It says you are super evil and EVERYBODY 
hates you, want to see you at least dead if not worse. So the fresh wind 
of the group was truly a bless. Friendly people, advises, small talk 
(like "LOOK AT THAT ASS!" when outside - imagine I was not able to even 
SAY such a thing never ever before) tolerance and so on. The group broke 
up after a group in another town was being investigated by the police. 
The 50 year old leader of our group, you are going get to know him a 
little in a little while, said that the police made up a story of a 
circulating CD so they could do their move. 

Well I can never proof it but I have the highest respect for that man 
(our leader) and I believe him, at least much more than the newspapers or 
the police. The problem is that I don't know his contact, but if he says 
so than it means a ton of a lot to me. Anyway, the group thing was 
history and that’s a bad thing just in general. It wasn't like masses of 
people used the service anyway. But just where should people like me go 
to elsewhere? I grew up in the 80's and 90's so just at the middle of the 
anti pedo hype. People like me just shouldn't be raised by the newspaper. 
That’s just my opinion. 

Thanks again Kelly for your wonderful site, the tolerance and the work 
you put there <3 May god fuck you godlike when you will pass someday! 
(consider, he is the father of everybody!) This is meant wholeheartedly! 
<3 While in the group I planned an outing to my brother and a friend who 
I knew since our big brothers went to elementary school. I did both 
separately. Planed to prepare for it, thinking over what and how I could 
tell but I think I just talked something of the script being super 
nervous. Well both were shocked, my brother (who has a latex and light 
bdsm fetish) could not really understand at the beginning. I think his 
idea of doing it just had no place for any under-aged involved. Imagine 
asking Rocco Sifredi (?), the ultimate hard-hardcore pornstar of my 
generation, what he would say about sex with a 10 or 12 year old. It 
doesn't fit into their worlds of bang bang thanks bye. Well my friend 
reacted more or less the same but later turned my life upside down. I 
learned later that he was raped by a teenage boy when he was.. maybe 8. I 
was maybe because of his own history that he told our circle of friends. 
All more or less close friends I had seen for many years. They freaked 
totally! One couldn't stand it, couldn't even talk to me appropriate. We 
were friends for more than 10 years. Never really close but we shared a 
lot of our hobbies and stuff. Well his sister was coaxed or raped (rape 
was at least the official statement) when she was 12 by an uncle. They 
even quit friendship with one another because of my outing 

After SOME YEARS people cooled down a bit but it was never as it had 
been! My advise, be careful who you open up to! If this is ever going to 
be read by someone else: avoid the Pedo word! For most people it just 
means you are a rape machine and that you should die as soon as possible. 
Oh I forget my nice older guy! Yes the leader of our pedo group. I told 
you that he and I met and talked before he let me into the group which 
was very pleasant although he didn't whisper like I did all the time. It 
turned out that he liked me and I thought he was nice too. We came 
together 3 or 4 times which was always very nice. He was gentle and 
caring, in fact a tiny bit too much since he interrupted me while I tried 
to deep-throat him and said that he didn't like that because he would 
feel that I was degraded. I would have loved to please him that way but 
he just wasn't into it. Bad guy! It was my first attempt to try a deep-
throat so I was a little bit disappointed. 

Nonetheless it was a super nice evening. We cuddled extra much and 
caressed each other bodies a lot. Really a lot! Like for hours. He later 
told me that he had never ever anything like that. Hearing that from 
someone over 50 was indeed pleasant! He later let me hump his chest since 
I told him I wouldn't get off the usual way. I feared a little to do it 
so close to his heart but it was ok. I didn't cum but that was the closet 
time ever doing it with someone else in like 25 years. Beside our group 
he was involved in a lot of church stuff (which I am absolutely not) and 
he was a member of a choir (which later had a more or less major 
performance). He had 2 jobs, later even 3! He was married to a nice guy, 
was married with children, has grandchildren and what else not I don't 
know. He was super busy 24/7 and at times a little stressed but still 
remained my super hero in tolerance, kindness, tenderness and idk. He is 
just the super nice guy, and that wholeheartedly and not just on the 
surface like me sometimes. 

Well it isn't much left now since I don't live the fast life. But there 
is still Sarah! It’s not her real name but the name of my childhood 
girlfriend which will always be special! Forever! You may notice that 
that’s the first name I mentioned here. I just don't feel comfortable 
enough on the internet to give out too much details. Sarah was the 
stepdaughter of a very close female friend. She could visit them only on 
weekends and then only every three weeks :( When I first met her she was 
2 1/2 years old while I was 26 I think. To be honest, she was just my 
dream girl in every aspect.. Maybe a year older but I wouldn't complain. 
She was soooooo cute with big eyes and sweet baby fat on all the right 
places. It helped that the first time I saw her was summer and she was 
playing naked in the garden! I just wanted to hug her tight till I died 
of starvation! It happened that we played a lot together while there were 
at least 10 adults in the garden, all related in some way with her (like 
grandmother and so on). 

The first day I was with her was gold, the next even better because I had 
my bathing trunk with me! (is it trunks or trunk?..). Her father now 
somewhat suspicious or whatever but this time she was only naked in the 
baby pool they had but as I told you I was prepared for that! Well she 
liked me a lot and I don't have to tell you if I liked her. Well I love 
her! Good thing was that it wasn't easy for me to get hard. As I said I 
always masturbated with my dick flaccid (except for the times while doing 
it with friends in my teens - but I never came erect!) and had to be 
extra cautious around others. Years of training of avoiding hard 
evidence. Hell I avoid looking at foreign kids anyway just out of fear 
someone could think something. So my dick wasn't a problem there and I 
could have fun. I tried to spend time with the others too every now or 
more then but something pulled me to her, and she was only too happy to 
spent time with me. At 2 1/2 she could walk pretty secure/save as far as 
I remember but her talking lacked a little bit. (everyone bragged how bad 
of a mother hers was bla bla I didn't care). She speaking not too well 
and me having my ears tortured with loud heavy metal music over and over 
again were really the dream team! 

It was the same with the 9 year old boy I escorted for 3 weeks (the one 
in the wheelchair with this horrible full body framework). Both losing 
confidence when being not understood so often but I animated them with 
all my heart to continue! After all talking makes a huge portion to why I 
don't like babies sexually that much, even if I don't let them talk much 
in my fantasies anyway. But talking and walking is like my limit. Babies 
have a way to communicate too but I guess language lifts it to another 
level. It happened that I didn't see her for several week until the first 
snow came. It was at my friends (bff) home and again there were like 10 
adults again. 

Well what can I say it wasn't too long that I played with her again. We 
did all kinds of silly stuff which I enjoyed immensely. We even played 
cave under the master beds covers. Her dad didn't say anything but 
started to hang around on his computer which was in the bedroom as well. 
The sweetest moment I had with her that day was when she wanted to sit on 
the windowsill to which I helped her willingly! It was snowing outside 
and she was just still and watched the snowflakes for a really long time. 
This was for me a really private time I had with her even she had her 
focus on the snow. It was maybe like having quality time together for the 
first time while we just played and had fun before. Three weeks later it 
was just my bff and Sarah and me. Her suspicious dad was away playing 
soccer or whatever. I was glad :) 

My friend was always very warm and open about me and she thought nothing 
of it that I had spent so much time with Sarah. We hadn't that much fun 
and time but it happened that I was in the same room when my bff started 
to undress her so she could put a diaper on her. I have seen her naked 
before in the garden, but this time Sarah was laying on her back and had 
her legs spread wide. I was again 3/4 in avoidance mode, trying to look 
elsewhere, but couldn't waste this beautiful opportunity totally so stole 
glances and stuff. 

All of a sudden my bff announced that Sarah’s vagina looked a little red 
"here look!" she said maybe a tiny bit upset. Well being asked I moved 
closer and to take a look. I have to say it looked perfectly normal. Well 
I am not an expert except having seen tons of nudist pics but well, it 
just looked beautiful and ok! There was a little pink where her lips met 
maybe both it just looked totally normal. Politely I said "Sarah you 
should tell your mother to change you more regularly" or something like 
that, just to say something. Maybe I should have pulled her beautiful 
mound open to see if inside was more evidence of that evil diaper 
soreness my bff had seen. I really should have...

Anyway my bff took some ointment and smeared an ENORMOUS amount on 
Sarah’s mound. She avoided touching the child which I thought was 
strange. When I use ointment on me I always use a bit and rub it in like 
sun lotion. She was the nurse so what did I know?! Sarah went into her 
bed. She stood there with her hands on the fence of the baby bed. It 
looked like she was a prisoner but it really was bedtime so we left her 
there. Sometime later though we brought her to the living room, she was 
still wide awake, played for some time and laid her down on the couch 
with her blanked and cushion. She looked unbearable cute laying there, 
covered to her chin with her thick baby blanket and deep sunken into her 
cushion. Her beautiful face and small hands only visible. Maybe a perfect 
sight for a photo to tribute later to but I hadn't a single thought free 
other than enjoying this beauty. 

My bff just said "doesn't she make one randy?". Maybe horny or randy are 
not perfect translations but I couldn't find one which satisfied me. She 
meant getting horny in a beautiful way, like agitated too. Oh well maybe 
she just meant horny anyway. I at least agreed with her. Whatever, an 
hour later we said good bye hugging each other while her stiff nipples 
stabbed me nearly to death. I like to think that Sarah really made her 
horny for which I have no evidence. I didn't see Sarah again until last 
summer when my bff had her baby boy baptized. It was a really nice event 
given that I haven't been in a church for years and don't like stuff like 
that in general. I was even as far as to contribute with some money but 
when I learned that it was for some propaganda material for a youth group 
I couldn't bring myself to it. 

Sorry Kelly. Later I found out my brother thought the same and didn't 
contribute also. So the baptism event took place and like I said was 
nice. He told some strange story of a candle who would not like to burn 
because it would make her shrink at the same time needing to burn wax to 
shine. But till she couldn't get happy in the darkness the candle decided 
finally that it would be better to shine and life her life then to try to 
avoid it or something like that. It reminded me of slavery but I am some 
critical asshole sometimes. Overall it was a nice event. Full stop. :) A 
nice touch was when the baby girl who was going to get baptized too 
started to cry. The pastor (or whoever he was *g*) took the child in his 
arms and it stopped immediately! No shit! It really was a nice touch. At 
the greeting before the event Sarah introduced herself to everyone. There 
were tons of people she probably didn't know but she wasn't shy and 
introduced herself super nicely to everyone! I hadn't seen her for 6 (or 
maybe 5 now that I think of it? I don’t know) years and somehow I managed 
to recon her only the moment we shook hand. I was shocked for a moment 
because she still meant something to me and haven't her recon earlier 
made me feel a little bit ashamed, still in the instant we shook hands. 
When our eyes met something happened with her also. 

I like to image that she recognized me also but since I had no memory of 
when I was 2-1/2 I assume she didn't also. But she sure was a little 
startled when looking me in the eyes. And boy was she beautiful! She wore 
a long beautiful dress which made her look like an angel for me. She had 
a cute sleeve around her shoulders which added to the innocent dress and 
general look of her perfectly. Her hair was made special too but to my 
shame I cannot remember how. After the formal ceremony everybody gathered 
in the nearby hallway to celebrate and eat and stuff. All the smoking 
guys gathered outdoors over time and as it is all the nonsmokers moved 
there too. 

At one point Sarah was missed by the adults. I wasn't really concerned 
because she sure was bored half to death with so many adults who were not 
taking really notice of her. I knew she was kind of wandering around with 
the cute puppy she borrowed from someone. As we stood there and the 2 or 
3 responsible adults started to look for her my newspaper raised me 
couldn't stop thinking "It wasn't me! I was here all the time and have an 
alibi!" with a big smile. The responsible persons who saw me with her 
years ago in the garden or at my bff flat with Sarah were here also, so I 
combined my hypocritical me with just that. Like I said before I wasn't 
concerned, she was just bored. They found her 1 or 2 minutes later and 
everything was perfect again. 

Later that evening I got to hold the baby boy for the first time. He was 
soo cute! But surprisingly heavy and I feared to drop him, well not of 
his weight alone but he was wiggling and moving but I managed to improve 
on my baby-holding skills so my fears disappeared soon. They made photos 
of me holding the baby and my bff later said that she hadn't seen me this 
happy in a long time so she made copies for me which she would hand me at 
Christmas. I was invited there which was really nice of them since I had 
no parents anymore and the other most important related person, my 
grandma who took over when my parents died when I was 14, had passed 2 
years ago too. So there was pretty much only my brother and me left. One 
aunt who everybody didn't get on with very well (which is an 
understatement) didn't count. 

Entering there I was surprised to see Sarah there since they still got 
her only every three weeks on the weekend. And what a Sarah it was! 8 
years old, super tight long jeans who showed her petite preteen ass and a 
nice black top (I am not good with clothes so I am really not sure what 
it is called). The top was made of a warm and smooth material, maybe 
cotton but I am really a nub at this. Anyway it had a very nice cut-out 
which I later would have the chance to experience its benefits! The first 
hour was all about the baby boy. Everyone wanted to hold it or look at 
his pictures. Sarah was really brave but I sensed she would love some 
attention herself. So I offered myself as a volunteer to get Sarah rid of 
her boredom. I asked politely in the kitchen where her daddy and my bff 
were preparing the dinner not wanting to embarrass her in front of 
everybody. They were quiet happy I asked but suggests Singstar or 
something like that. I had a pretty good idea what this console "game" 
was all about and chickened out immediately but offered to play cards or 
something like that with poor Sarah. 

Sarah was called immediately to announce the good news which pulverized 
my plan of not wanting to embarrass her to dust. But she wasn't anyway. 
So my bff and Sarah’s dad seemed really happy because they were very 
aware of the situation. They knew everything would be about the baby. 
Well thank god I was there to help out! :D Well I was really more 
concerned of Sarah then anything but I sure was happy too to spent time 
with her.

My bff suggested we should play in the nursery/children’s room. On the 
bed. I had naughty thoughts for a second. I didn't turn on the big light 
but didn't close the door. Well I should try next time! There on the bed 
I came to the enjoyment of finding out about the benefits of Sarah’s top! 
Well she sure was only 8 years old but I swear there was some sort of 
swelling! I so wanted to creep in there and kiss her breast! Normally a 
breast means nothing to me, Nothing. Well there are ones that are more 
beautiful than others but I am not like most men. They are just breast. 
Just normal part of the human body. An ass yes, I can relate to that. Or 
an tummy. But breasts? Who the fuck cares about breasts? 

Well I did right at that moment being alone with Sarah! Mmmmmmm I could 
have sucked on it for ages I am sure.. Later we got company and another 
later there was an argument between Sarah and her dad. He seemed to make 
a fuzz out of nothing (?). We were playing cards, but she started to fool 
around with the cards. We were 3 playing the game now and when Sarah and 
I started being silly our playmate asked her to resume playing or she may 
leave the game eventually. Well she didn't, at least not for long so her 
dad got a stern look and took her aside. After that the evening was the 
same as before. Everything was more calm and stuff and I think Sarah was 
made to read in some of her books she got for Christmas. 

When we came back from smoking outdoors she tried to coax me to her side 
but I didn't want to. Well I wanted but didn't :) She pouted her lips and 
seemed to be really upset for a second which hurt me bad but what can I 
do. BTW the previous smoking brake we took her along and played with the 
snow. We laughed a lot and played nicely. First we were 3 big adult guys 
vs this tiny 8 year old but she wouldn't complain and did really good in 
her situation. Later we fired randomly everyone at anyone. At the end she 
kind of ran against me and fell - her pants did get a wet spot from the 
snow (near her feet you dirty girl). She blamed it on me and started to 
cry but I hadn't done anything. She complained that three jeans got wet. 
I thought wtf they are supposed to playing outdoors and what.. parents 
made have this worries. But I have to say that I don't know much about 
professional education or being a parent or whatever. I am sure that 
everyone could complain at least about something related to the 
upbringing on every child. 

This said I offered myself as a free target to cool her down. I even 
opened my jacket so she could do more damage. She wasn't all to mean and 
everything was good again. Back to the script: The evening was kind of 
ruined even though we still stayed a bit. So when we said our goodbyes an 
eager Sarah ran to me to put her arms around me and announced that she 
the evening  was real fun! <3 I too said that it were cool. Her daddy 
made a command about her newfound bosom buddy in a not toooooo happy tone 
(it wasn't too bad either I hope), I just smiled at him and we left. 
That’s what happened in my life. At least most of the important stuff I 
think. 

So as a matter of fact I am a still a virgin at 32 and really never 
squirted while hard.  I normally masturbate 1-2 times a day.325 feet 9 
inches140 pounds Erm... this got a little out of hand and right now I 
cannot remember what or why I wanted to write in the first place. Hope 
you enjoyed it anyway. It is all true but I tried to protect my identity 
as much as I thought I was comfortable with in case you are going to 
publish it. 

jp

****************** 

"Did you have all this written out before?" 

No, but I have thought about writing my story for some years now. I had 
written a few stories for an incest story site (in my native language) 
and I thought about adding some of my childhood stuff there. I think it’s 
more or less normal to think about one’s childhood and some may even get 
aroused from their memories. So it’s a good thing that its written and 
online now so I may have access to it whenever I would like to (I don't 
like to have this kind of stories on my computer). I would have liked if 
you had choose a more innocent story title :) I feel like EVERYBODY will 
read it JUST because the title has the evil P word in it so they have 
something to get annoyed from.  "Anything else you want to add?" Right 
after pushing the send mail button some things came to mind which I 
forgot to include so yes, maybe I will. I thought you would show more 
interest in some things I wrote since I feel really unique. Especially 
the "didn't cum a single time while hard" thing. After all, you love to 
feel a hard cock, or feel it getting hard in your hand mouth or pussy. 
Feel free to ask anything. Chat would be ok too.




  

Jules Peterson.Growing Up as a Straight Pedo - Mg