Subject: Sex as a Child and Then as a Father
Story Codes: mf MF Mf incest father daughter
Author: Bob <ae5five@gmail.com>
Posted By: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
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!!!WARNING!!!!
This file contains sexually explicit material which may include graphic
depictions of underage, nonconsensual and unprotected sex as well as incest,
adultery, sodomy and bestiality. It is distributed on a website clearly
identified as "For Adults Only". Possession by a minor is strictly
forbidden. If you are not legally empowered to be in possession of such
material, do not read it and delete it immediately.
This work is copyrighted 2013 to the author. It may be posted to non-
commercial "free" sites, or in the "free" area of commercial sites so long as
no changes are made to the content and the Author information is retained.
Any other use of this work is by written permission of the Author only.
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Foreword by Kelly
=================
I've been pretty harsh on people who write about young kids in supposedly highly
charged sexual situations. Well, here is someone willing to take me to task on
my views!
********************
Hi Kelly,
While I don't visit your web page often, I do go there and enjoy it. Thank you.
I read your comments about incest and children. I also read your pet peeves. I
will cover my thoughts on it in a moment, but first, I want to tell you about me
so that you know something.
I'm presently 50 yo and married. I have two wonderful girls, 21 and 9. While
there has been incest in my family's past, I know of none occurring presently,
including my own. That isn't to say that it hasn't been thought about or
fantasized about. It has.
I am an engineer. Back when I was in my early 30's, I believed that everyone in
my business thought like I did, i.e. they understood "engineering stuff". I was
in the early part of my career and knew no limits as to my abilities. One day,
the realization hit me, that while one of my coworkers did not understand the
things that we worked on to the same level as me, she was BETTER at doing some
things than I was. Once that thought hit me, I realized that my "generalities"
about others was way off. I then started treating other with differently and
also realized my own deficiencies.
We, as people, even with our own experiences, can never assume that just because
you feel, act, and think in a particular way, that every one else does. You
have more or less mentioned this in your "musings". I bring this back to you
because you have committed this act yourself - you have assumed that a child,
any child, has felt and thought of sex, lust, and desires, just the way that you
have. This is a gross error on your part. I know this from personal
experience. I do remember, as you sort of rhetorically stated in your peeve
section, my childhood and how I felt about things, what I thought about, what my
feelings and desires were, my longings, and my lust. Sex and sexual pleasure is
one of those things that has been a major desire and subsequently, impact on
actions and memory for all of my life. I don't forget sexual things that I've
done.
My very first sexual experience that I recall only involved me. I remember the
doing it and the feelings that it brought on - that was the act of rubbing the
head of my penis on the inside of my underwear. It was extremely pleasurable,
so I continued for self pleasure to some level and frequency for the rest of my
life.
My first experience with some one else was with my older sister (this was a one
and only time that she and I did anything sexual). We were at our grandparent's
home. My sister told me that she knew how babies were made and that it felt
good. If I wanted to, I could put my penis into her vagina while she was
"sleeping". So, after a little bit, I did lift up her nighty, lowered her
panties, lowered mine, and attempted to get my penis into her, without any
success, mind you. I spent about 15 minutes trying this, and also feeling the
softness of her on me. It was very pleasurable, but there was no lust involved.
While this is not really sexual in once sense, it does indicate the intensity of
feelings that a child has, even without the hormones that occur later in life.
I remember being with my mom and looking at her not only with the love of a
child for a parent, but also seeing her as a beautiful woman (she was probably
only 22 at the time). I remember comparing her to the other mom's and KNEW she
was prettier than most, but there were some that were even prettier. I remember
the feeling when I looked at her and them....what now I know as desire to know
them more intimately...not really lust like after hormones, but just this side
of it. I didn't really understand it though.
Also, I had been bathing with my sisters, and loved looking at their vagina's
when I got a chance, and their bottoms, too. I remember "enjoying" seeing them
in bathing suits, along with the neighbor girls, or anything that showed their
shape and skin. I never once thought that girls were "yucky" and had a strong
desire to at least be around them to some level. Don't get me wrong, I was all
boy. I had more cuts and scraps than I care to remember. I played with the
other guys or by myself. But I still LOVED being with girls, too. They were
different and I loved looking at them and experiencing that difference anyway I
could. I loved the attention that I received from them, both the girls and the
moms, more so than my guy friends, but it was a different feeling altogether.
My next experience involved one of the neighbor ladies. I was 5 by now. There
was no sex, or even any inclination towards sex on her part. I remember looking
at her and wanting to see what she looked like without her clothes on. She had
larger breasts than my mom, and she was quite pretty with a very pleasant voice.
She was the first woman that I really wanted to see naked like I had seen my
sisters. I had never seen any adult naked, so I knew nothing of pubic hair, but
it was pretty obvious that woman had breasts and girls didn't.
My next extremely strong "sexual" desire occurred in first grade. I was in a
Catholic school and my teacher was a Nun. All you could see of her was her face
and hands, that was it. I was truly in-love with her. I know what that feels
like. I have always looked a person's face first, actually eyes, and then moved
outward. She had this beautiful face and eyes and this wonderful loving
disposition. I would watch her intently. I desired to be with her and know her
better. I did want to know what she looked like under her Habit. She would
have made a wonderful mom, I'm sure of it, and a friend for a partner. Such a
waste. Mother Superior, on the other hand, she was in the correct calling.
My next experience came after my parents split up. My older sister showed me
some of dad's old Playboy's that were still hidden between the mattress of my
mom's bed. My sister was obviously a snoop. I was so DRAWN to the images of
the naked or nearly naked females, it consumed my thoughts from that point
forward to some level everyday. I was 7. To this day, I am a true lover of the
female form. It is art to me. There is good art, okay art, and bad art, but it
is art. Interestingly enough, it wasn't the size of the women's breasts in the
mags that I loved, but the shape! Back then, they were all natural. Most were
what would be called "pleasantly plump", i.e. nice soft lines on their bodies,
but shapely.
I took all of the mags and hid them in my room. I would look at them and get
feelings all over my body (lustful, but not the strength of later years after
puberty...hormones don't make the desires, they only increase them. This is one
of your mistakes in your opinion). I would play with myself the whole time I
looked at the pictures...I WANTED to touch the naked women and feel them
touching me! This was actually the first time that I was truly aware of wanting
to BE TOUCHED by another. Although my mom's hands felt nice when she washed me
when I was younger, it was not sexual. After that, it became sexual for me, but
she never knew.
The mags were a huge change in how I now looked at girls and women. I now had a
good idea of want a woman looked like under her clothes (still didn't know about
pubic hair as Playboy didn't show it then. I actually don't like a lot of hair,
anyway) and started to want to see all of the girls and mom's naked. Every
chance I got to look at those mags, I took. I was in "heaven" until at around 8
and half, my mom found them and took them from me. Oh well. It was very nice
while it lasted. I still remember some of the pictures to this day.
From that point onward, I would make some efforts every so often to seen the
"hidden" places in girls and women. I did get to see my mom naked one time as
she ran from the hall bathroom to her room and loving the way she looked. I had
then started to fantasize in a very limited fashion (only knew about
masturbation and what my sister had said) about being with her. I was 8 at the
time. Puberty was about 5 years away.
I had shown my penis to the neighbor girl in a "you show me yours I'll show you
mine" kind of thing. I fell in-love again with my fourth grade teacher, who
just happened to look a lot like my mom. I wanted to be touched! I wanted TO
touch! For all intensive purposes, I was fully sexual in my desires by 9 years
old, just didn't have the extra "kick" from hormones yet.
I had moved to another state at 10. Again, I fell in-love, but this time the
sexual desire was extremely high. It was my uncle's girlfriend. She was 19 or
20, I guess, extremely beautiful. She was also the first adult female that I
felt reciprocal attraction by. I doubt very much that it was sexual on her
part, but it was genuinely a personality attraction that we both experience even
to this day. (Later in life when we were both single adults, she asked my mom,
shortly after I had seen her again after about 10 years of not seeing her, if I
liked older women. The spark was still very much there on both sides.
Unfortunately, I have only briefly seen her once since then). I remember
WANTING to be close to her, and when we were, it was amazing. If she had ever
offered to touch my 10 year old body sexually, I would have let her. I didn't
know how to make love yet, but I would have loved to learn with her.
My buddies and I found a lot of explicit pictures near our homes one day. We
took them to one of their homes and hid them. We would pull them out and have
jerk off sessions, none of us at puberty yet, so they were dry orgasms. We did
involve some girls on several occasions by the time I was 11, one of which was
my next youngest sister. Lots of touchy feely although she and I didn't touch
that often during those sessions. Mostly it was the other girls.
At early 13, I hit puberty. By the summer, my two youngest sisters and I were
visiting my dad. I took my youngest sister to his off site garage and we got
naked. I had learned a fair amount about sex by now and knew about oral as
well. I had her suck me and I licked her. She was 8. She really enjoyed it as
did I. It was both of ours first oral experience. Nobody was forced. It was
consensual. She could get all of my head and part of the shaft into her mouth,
but I didn't orgasm. I did, however, lick her to the point of what I now know
as an orgasm for her. I loved the smooth softness of her and the lack of hair
(I knew about pubic hair by now from the pictures we found and my own body). I
did try to insert my penis into her vagina, but alas, I didn't know about lube
and she wasn't wet anymore. Afterwards, I masturbated with her watching so that
she could see me orgasm....besides, I needed to after all of that. She found it
so exciting that when we went back to my dad's place, she had me show my other
sister, which I gladly did. Oh to be young like that again!
That was the last time that I ever did anything with my sisters. You might
think that from all of this that I shortly lost my "virginity," but I did not.
I didn't actually insert my penis into a woman's vagina until I was 21.
My point in all of this is that your assumption that children are not sexual,
nor do they have lustful feelings is incorrect. I do remember very well. I can
still recall the actual sensations that I felt, my thoughts, my desires, and
what held my interest. I know of another child that, of their own accord, had a
thing for rubbing up against their daddy's penis, wanting to be there when he
changed. They were never shown, nor even talked to about sexual things, and yet
this girl not only liked to rub up against him, but would hold his now hard
penis up against her privates and push back. She was 1 and a half when she
started and went until she was 5. There was never any penetration. It was just
something that she did.
So, just because you never had any of those desires yourself (that you were
aware of, they probably were not that important) until puberty hit, it doesn't
mean that every other child was like you, because we aren't and weren't.
I hope that this gives you some insight about how we are truly each different.
While you have a wonderful relationship with your parents, and it started later
in life, I on the other hand, had desires all of my life, but never really acted
on them. And it is for the very same reason you feel that children are not
sexual....you have an innate respect for them and others.
I guess the main reason that I didn't tell you about us so much was that I
wanted to focus on the fact that some children really ARE sexual, have some
level of lust, and not only don't mind being sexual with someone, but actually
crave it. But, as with all, not all children are like that, and taking
something that isn't given is abuse, regardless of age.
To answer your questions, yes, I did and do think about them sexually. My
oldest daughter, while she did do some masturbation as an infant and toddler,
she stopped shortly afterwards. She did catch me looking at a porn movie once,
but that was pretty much it. As she got older, I did talk with her about sex to
some extent, and told her she could come to me if she had questions. She never
really did, though. She wasn't particularly sexual until puberty. She also
isn't really the snuggly type, except with her boyfriend. I do know that after
puberty, she started to become sexually active and had intercourse around 16.
She has been active ever since.
I have been married 3 times, once to a friend, once to woman who turned out to
be very misleading and an alcoholic, and finally, to my present wife that I had
actually asked to marry me back when I was 17. My two girls are from different
mothers.
When I was married to my second wife, we had my youngest daughter. My ex was
very sexual and would give me a BJ pretty much anywhere, including watching TV
with my oldest sitting in front of us on the floor watching TV. Never got
caught.
I took to having my youngest sleep in bed with me because her mom was passed out
downstairs most nights from drinking. The mom would come up most mornings and
wake me with a BJ... very nice way to wake up, I might add. We would have sex
sometimes with me holding the baby in my arms or her nursing. The baby started
to sit up around 5 months old and if she was awake, she would watch her mom
going down on me. At 6 months old, with my daughter sitting by my hip, she
watched her mom sucking me. The mom stopped and went into the other room. I
was still hard and sticking up. My little girl just bent over and took me into
her mouth and sucked. She did this for about 10 seconds and stopped. I was
pretty shocked, amazed, and well, loved it. I never waved myself in her face or
did anything to "get her to do it". I wasn't even looking at her when she first
took me in.
For the next month, if she saw her mom doing this, and if I was still hard and
standing up, my daughter would wait until my ex would leave the room and then
suck me for a little bit. I never came in her mouth nor did I ever set it up,
but I also didn't stop her. She stopped doing it after that.
I know that she also masturbates nearly every night since she was little. My
girls share a room and my oldest has told me that she does. My youngest is very
sexual, but aside from self pleasure, doesn't do anything else. This is partly
due to my present wife, which is fine with me.
So, yes, I do look at my little girl and have fantasies. I look at her
girlfriends as well, but the only person I touch sexually is my wife. By the
way, my wife does know of my desires. I cannot keep secrets from her. We don't
fantasize together about "other stuff", just enjoy each other to the fullest.
Still, it would be extremely difficult for me to say no if either my daughter or
her friends decided to try and seduce me.
As an adult, my first real strong sexual fantasies about being with not only a
child, but incest were with my half sister. She was 10 at the time and there
was just something about her. I later found out, after talking with her as
adults, that she had been sexual with a girlfriend and her sister since she was
3 until 10. What stopped her was that my half brother said something about
lesbianism being just gross. That hurt her and made her feel guilty, so she
stopped. I never did anything with her, but I would fantasize about her and my
step mom, who is only 13 years older than me, all doing things together. It
just grew from there. The fantasies, that is.
On the subject of the dad and daughter I had mentioned in the previous email, we
had become good chat buddies, when I was doing that. He had told me about his
daughter and offered to show me on a webcam what she was like. He set it up in
his room at a prearranged time. I could hear her speak, she was just 2 at the
time, and ask him if he was going to change. He answered yes. He never wears
underwear, so when he dropped his pants, he sat on the bed. She was in between
his legs even before he could get his foot out of the pant leg and rubbing her
face all over his penis and balls. He never did figure out why she started to
do this, it just happened. I was amazed, and turned on, of course. So was he.
She did this until he finally told her that he needed to get dressed. Sometimes
she would rub her mouth over it, but she never took him in, nor did he ask her
to.
On a later web cam, when they were getting into bed, she of course, rubbed her
face on him and got him hard. He was on his back naked and she only had on her
favorite soft shirt. I watched as she straddled his hips, held his penis to her
privates with her back towards him an lowered herself down, putting a lot of
weight on his penis. She would wiggle and squirm, readjust, push, whatever. I
guess she got a lot of pleasure from the pressure.
He let me be a part of it through the web cam until I had stopped chatting just
prior to getting married for the last time. I saw them in the doggy position
with her pushing back so hard with her little hands holding onto the sheets for
purchase to push back that I thought, "If he only had a little lube, he would
enter her." I saw squat over him as he moved his cock back and forth, then she
would squat down and put pressure on it. When she was 3, he let me watch as he
licked her to orgasm, or at least it appeared that way. Her stomach rippled and
her toes were curling, which were on his shoulders.
He told me that he did use lube one time where he was sitting on his sofa and
she had her back to him. He was rubbing up and down between her buns and she
pushed back. His cock entered her anally. He was surprised, but pleased. He
said it felt incredible. He carefully pumped into her just the head and a small
amount of shaft for about 10 seconds. He was right on the verge of cumming, but
she pulled away. They did that one more time, but again, she pulled away. He
said that about a few months after that, she really didn't like the feeling of
the lube and wouldn't do anything if there were lube, so they went back to doing
things dry. He loved his daughter and would never do anything to hurt her,
either physically or emotionally. We both talked about the emotional side of
what they were doing, and because it was something that she strongly desired to
do intimately with her dad, it would have been more hurtful to her to stop, than
to keep it status quo. If she stopped that would be her choice.
During all of that time, up until she was 6, he never did enter her vaginally
nor repeat the anal experience. I stopped chatting at that time because I was
getting married and didn't want the chatting to interfere.
I suspect that they probably did go the rest of the way, or maybe it is just my
fantasy. I haven't heard from him since.
So, there you have it. I'm not as exciting as some of the families that you
correspond with on a regular basis, but I have had my moments. :)
Bob
Bob - Sex as a Child and Then as a Father (mf MF Mf incest father daughter)