Subject: Responses to "My Revelations" (nosex)
By: Kelly <pghkelly@yahoo.com>
Originally Posted: March 5, 2010
Updated: March 19, 2010
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!!!WARNING!!!!
This file is a work of fiction containing sexually explicit material which may
include depictions of underage, nonconsensual and unprotected sex as well as
incest and adultery. It is not intended to implicate any person or action by
them or me, nor advocate such practices. If you can't separate fantasy from
reality, get professional help - FAST!
The material is distributed as "For Adults Only" and possession by a minor is
strictly forbidden. If you are not legally empowered to be in possession of
this material, do not read it and delete it immediately.
This work is copyrighted to the author ©2010. It may be posted to non-commercial
"free" sites, or in the "free" area of commercial sites so long as no changes
are made AND the author information is retained.
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Summary:
I recently posted a diary entry titled “Revelations" where I not only told up to
a few secrets I’d been keeping, but also confessed to a couple of other things
where I’d not been entirely truthful in the past. In doing so I told about
things I learned about myself and my family life and parents. It was an
extremely emotional article and difficult to write. My biggest concern was the
reaction I would get from those who had been faithful readers over the years.
The initial reaction, as I expected, was mixed. Here is a sampling of some of
the responses I received and my comments about them.
********************************************************************************
From: Moi aussi <listecfa@hotmail.com>
Date: Wed, Mar 24, 2010 at 7:13 AM
Hi,
To your keyboard, I know you will make that text look better, once again English
is not my best language.
Revelation: sex addict, nymphomaniac ?
There is no such thing as a pathology called nymphomania. It was made up by
society to label women with a big sex drive. Society is scared by women
sexuality, it wants to control it.
There is a word for your male equivalent: macho. Are they called sex addict? No,
parents are proud to have a son that is macho. You know how men’s are when they
talk about sexual experiences they have, they are proud, when women talk about
theirs, they are always ashamed or people try to make them feel guilt.
Sex addict, can’t we just call it a hobby? You know by now their two kind of
sex, on type that include love the other type just plain fun so why do you
wonder about being an addict or nymphomaniac ?
I like to masturbate or have sex at least once a day, like I eat 3 times a day,
drink water, go to the gym 3 times a week and so on. I’m 40 and it stills goes
on
People are jealous. Some people don’t like others to have fun in life.
For example the gays, they don’t like bisexuals persons. Why ? Because they
enjoy sex with both men and women. Some gays never accept their orientation and
are tortures, seeing people have fun either way just make them jealous.
People that call you names are jealous, there is a saying that the cat that
can’t catch the piece of meat that hangs to high in the tree, will say that is
rotten. So people that can’t have you, control you or have the chance to live
experience that you live will spit on you.
A other thing about man, one guy says to the other: did you fuck her? If the
other answers yes, the first guy will say: what a whore, if the guy says no the
first guy will say : what a whore...see you can’t win.
About your father, seems like you have a need for submission and you love to
break rules. You intellectualized sex it is not just a physical need but also
emotional.
You say your father loves you, hmm, does he bring you flowers, goes out to
dinner with you and do those entire thing that lovers do? I know you’re going to
say he loves you the way a father loves his daughter, but still when I love or
appreciate a women I like to do these little thing. When I like her body and her
sex drive I just fuck her and go away.
On my behalf I would say there are a few women I needed, just a few. The smell
of their body, the shape of their pussy, the way they sucked, how they screamed
I just needed them so bad. Just a phone call to ask them to come and fuck them
and after that send them away. Why ? Because I didn’t love them I had no need to
get close to them beside sex.
********************************************************************************
From: dexgreen@mindless.com
Date: Wed, 24 Mar 2010 09:39:03 -0400
Subject: revelations
Dear Kelly,
I read your post titled "revelations." I feel really bad for you. Losing your
mother is a terrible thing. This may be worse than losing her in a car wreck.
The internet is a funny thing. You have many people who read your site and email
you, but to your readers you are the only one. I just read your diary and since
it is your diary I feel like I'm close to you.
But, of course you don't know me!
I suppose this does not really make sense but what I want to say is that if I
say the wrong thing-it is not that I am attacking you personally, I may think I
am a good enough friend to disagree with you. But, since you don't know me at
all, you may think I'm a heckler or something.
Anyway...
I would like to make a few observations.
1. I have observed some local folks who were in the "swinging" lifestyle in the
1970's. Somehow it didn't work out so well for their families. They are very
nice people, kind of like grandparents now, but their focus on sex, opened them
up to the same sorts of problems you have had.
2. Which leads to this observation. Sex seems to be a lot about control and
submission. When you denied your father, he later called you and said he
"needed" you. You went to him and he made you submit and you accepted something
which was offensive to you.
3. As I said, I have not been reading your site because of some of the issues
people get into here. Do you think that when you get people to talk about
certain things you are also doing an dominate/submissive role scene? (That was
not to be mean or put you down it was just something to think about.)
4. You may want to remove some of your comments about your father. Saying that
he is currently involved in something illegal is a lot different than saying
this is a story you made up about a fantasy which involved yourself.
5. Are you really sure that you need to submit yourself to your father? You are
now an adult? What does this submission mean? Is it to be respectful or is it to
do what ever he asks of you? At what point do you want to build your own life?
I am writing to you because I feel like I know you from reading your diaries. I
like you. I think you are a really good writer. I think you should be happy. I
think we all need God's love and forgiveness daily. As I said earlier have
stopped closely following your site because many things discussed here disturb
me. This does not mean I am condemning you or dislike you. I just believe
differently. Again, I love your diary because it is about you and I've followed
you for a number of years. I want your life story to have a happy ending. This
is a strange letter because I'm trying to encourage you but yet I feel I'm being
negative. I don't want to be negative, I actually care about you. (I know it is
the internet and none of us may be real) I want to say that life is one foot in
front of the other. New things develop, some good and some bad. You strive to
make the best choices.
You are given a hand of cards-good or bad, and your faith in God helps you play
your hand. Do the best you can in everything. Search for God with an honest and
open heart and you will be led.
That sounds cheesy but I've found it helpful.
Good luck and I hope life improves for you.
Dex
P.S. Please don't put me in your hate mail! If this annoys you please just
throw it away and I won't bother you again...
********************************************************************************
From: sean alif <seani69@hotmail.com>
Sent: Mon, March 22, 2010 4:05:03 AM
Subject: RE: your last diary entry
Hi Kelly,
I read the last diary post, "the reconciliation", a few days ago and have been
meaning to write to you ever since but couldn't. The main reason for this delay
is that I wanted to say so much about so many different things and there was
never enough time to do it. Finally, I decided to "just do it" but write in
"installments" if necessary. LOL.
Basically, there are 3 things.
First: Your style of writing/storytelling. It is just SO unique & SO
enjoyable. As you know, most porn writers, like porn movies, follow one of the
two styles. Either it is wall to wall fucking...furious, hard, animalistic, raw
fucking! There is little, if any, story build up & dialogue is limited to
something like, " OH YESSS!! FUCK ME!!!!! FUCK MY PUSSY!! SHOVE YOUR BIG HARD
COCK IN MY FUCKING CUNT!! OH GAWDDDDDD!! I AM CUMMMMMMMINNNNGGGGGGG!!!!"
HaHaHa. I confess, there are times I can enjoy that kind of porn :)
Then there is the "couples" type porn. There is plenty of romance, feelings,
long foreplay and a nice build up. I like that very much, esp if it is
sprinkled with or ends with some good hard fucking. :)
But you don't follow either. You have a rather unique style, very much your
own. It is as if we are two close friends & you are sitting down & chatting
about the last date. You take your time explaining the background, your
thoughts, hopes, fears, expectations, trepidations etc etc. I like it when you
digress because that’s what do we do in real life chats. Everything is "as seen
thru your eyes". We begin to (almost) experience what you are experiencing.
Case in point, the last entry. When you were getting fucked by your dad and he
was squeezing & massaging your gorgeous ass cheeks, pulling them apart,
stretching your pussy lips apart & exposing & opening your very vulnerable
asshole, I was ROCK hard! :) When he asked you to hand him the lotion, I almost
lost it. Such a huge turn on!
But then, as he started to ignore your protests, pleas & pains and pushed his
cock inside rather mercilessly, I went limp!!! Completely! I lost all
interest! I felt SO sorry about your discomfort, pain & humiliation. Just
shows you how you make your readers identify with you! :)
So, THANK YOU! Hope you keep "chatting" with us for ever! You are very
special! :)
Second: I know you had asked me not to judge your dad too harshly, but it is so
hard not to. He is looking worse & worse, I am sorry! We already know how he
manipulated you & your mom to satisfy his sex addiction & pedophilia. He was
almost ready to discard you ( sexually) because you don’t have that pubescent
girl's body or the virgin pussy anymore.
Seems he wants you only when he wants his "needs" satisfied. I have this
horrible feeling that he summoned you this time, not because he loves you & had
missed seeing his daughter or missed the beautiful sex you had together I
think he just remembered that he has never fucked your ass and he decided that
he just has to do it, whether you like it or not! Even then, there are much,
much better & loving ways to perform anal, esp when you love someone. He did
not have to practically rape your ass!
That is awful! You are such an obedient & loving daughter who can never refuse
her dad's wishes no matter what. You deserve better.
Third: Some thoughts about anal sex, as if you have not heard enough lol. But,
it will be a bit different perspective I hope. I will leave it till my next
email.
Love,
Sean
********************************************************************************
from: Keith Dyar <keithdyar@hotmail.com>
date: Fri, Mar 19, 2010 at 6:10 AM
subject: long time reader
Hi Kelly,
I'm a long time reader but have never written before. I have always found your
stories to be fun and exceptionally hot but after reading revelations and
reconciliation I've got to say it moved me to write for an entirely different
reason. I know you love your father but his use of you borders on abuse and
while I can't judge anyone I hate that he has hurt you so. I'm 44 yo myself and
this one really brought out the paternal side in me. made just want to hold you
and tell you it'll be alright. I pray that God will give you peace and
compassion in the days ahead.
Keith
=================
Kelly’s Response:
It’s touching to know total strangers have grown to know me through my web site
to where they can feel this deeply about me. At times I want to quit because it
seems nobody cares but then I get a letter like this one and I know there are
people out there reading about me and being concerned for me. It’s a nice
feeling!
********************************************************************************
On Sat, Mar 13, 2010 at 7:24 AM, Moi aussi <listecfa@hotmail.com wrote:
Hi
First what is it with you American to bring good into every situation, here
in Canada it isn’t so, better reach for a friend to share your pain,…just
like that… :))))
Second, bad english tried my best
Yes, for me too the revelation it was a shock, now I have to go thru your
whole diary again with a different perspective.
What I think is that you don’t have to look for answers or try to
understand. I was told once in any kind of relationship, we always seek a
personal interest, a need. It is always like that. Your father, i presume
here, it was to satisfy his need for young girls, and how convenient it was
his daughter. You,. I don’t know, sexual needs, to explore sexuality,
pleasing your father being up to what your father wanted from you ?. Anyway
it is for you to find out.
The revelation of your father: maybe it is a way not to impose a burden on
you to come every week or to get you involved with the other young girls,
since you generally don’t caution underage sex, he doesn’t know how to ask
you to join in. But I think the most important fact is that he loves you, if
he didn’t he wouldn’t care to just turn his back on you and never say why.
We don’t need to share or explain or behavior to a person we don’t have any
consideration for. At least for me it is that way. Some time I wonder if it
is better to have a submissive sexual toy that just “shuts the fuck up” or a
sex partner with who I can rationalize, any of these situation have their
pro’s and con’s.
As being a sex addict, it is not pathology if your father functions well in
society, if it doesn’t get in the way of his responsibility. Let says a drug
addict or any addict will destroy himself to the point of dying of it or
harm itself, is it the case of your father? Pedophile, isn’t a man that ONLY
enjoy sex with young people and can’t get it up with adult? If your father
likes any age, he is just a pervert like us all or enjoying different kind
of sexual situation. Make a parallel with food, if you don’t eat meat
you’re a vegetarian, some day you eat out, some day you eat home, always
comforting to eat home, no? Some day you go to the fast-food for a quick
one, some day you have the full service...anyway..
On your side, being clueless.. not really your fault you focused on pleasure,
love not the twist and turn of relationships. It is true you’re a very
intelligent person , very nice to read your text, love the way you handle
chats and you seem to be a good person. There isn’t much girl like you
around. I met some focus on sex but damn they were dumb, an intellectual
desert, my gf is like you intellectually but too much closed on sexuality
with more than 2. She fills my every day needs as a companion,
intellectually, I which she was as pervert like me but her insecurity it
very high. I was told only 5%(to put a number) enjoy sex for sex as a hobby
or activity, the others have issues.
There is no such thing as adultery it is a conception of the society as long
as the rules are establish between individual those rules prevails. Your
mother accepted them in the beginning it is her right to get out of the
relationship when she feels like it, well, to cut off any contact with you i
think is wrong but...
I hope you won’t go around wondering too much, that you will go on with your
life and focus on your needs and ours as readers. If you like to please your
father and you love him he seems ok with that, why wonder, have fun.
Everybody wants a piece of you, as i can understand, you can be picky, enjoy
but don’t let anybody influence your freewill, your freedom. And please stop
it with that god thing, if there was any as it is describe you, all your
readers and fans would of been struck by lightning by now. :))))
On a other subject, I read your text on the Indian casino, I didn’t like the
way it ended, what bunch of low life guys you came across, they were not
thankful of l to have the chance to meet you and have shared the experience
with you. I would have and always am when i come across a women like
yourself that let me please her and enjoys it
If you come to Montreal one day let me know, I know you don’t meet people
from the net , but if you go to a swinger club in Montreal tell me when and
where it is anonymous there.
Thank you for keeping you site up and your hard work very exciting,
interesting and brings introspection
Pat
=================
Kelly’s Response:
Wow, quite a letter! I totally disagree with the part about adultery as I
believe in God and the Bible but the rest of it was quite touching and
interesting to read.
********************************************************************************
On Sat, Mar 13, 2010 at 11:56 AM, <BobofM@aol.comwrote:
Kelly, your candor is what makes your site so compelling along with your, to
say the least, very entertaining narratives. As a longtime reader I understand
your concealing your mom’s divorce with the false story of her death. The
divorce was also shocking too as is your mom’s decision to cut herself off from
you.
I’m very sorry for your present distress that your father has seen fit to
inflict on you, shattering your illusions about your relationship with him, if I
have it right, by telling you that his sexual involvement with you over the
years since you were sixteen has been more about his desire for sex with
yourself as a young girl than a loving act of incestual sex between father and
daughter.
You recognize that your dad is a pedophile. Any psychologist would not be
surprised that your mom, a victim of coerced sex, basically child rape, by her
own father along with her sister, Aunt Linda, would be drawn to someone like
your father. She knew that your dad wanted you as a prepubescent girl but fended
him off saying it would only be ok if down the road you initiated sex with him
but hoped it wouldn't come to that. Of course it did come to that as your dad
did everything to provoke you sexually and finally got you at sixteen when you
initiated sex with him.
Your dad is no more a “sex addict” than you are. Labeling someone an addict
absolves them of a lot of responsibility for their actions. We all are born with
a sex drive but how we handle it separates pedophiles, adulterers, molesters,
from the rest. In your story Tent Sex (a very funny story) you restrained
yourself from sex with an underage boy because you recognize that no adult
should be involved sexually with a minor, that its illegal because its very
wrong.
A previous responder pointed out that you and your dad’s continuing intense
incestual relationship evidently became increasingly intolerable for your mom
when she found herself replaced by her own daughter as your dad prefers young
girls and you became 'the other woman.' You dad’s affairs with other underage
girls, along with her sister could only have exacerbated things. Of course your
mom was complicit in all this.
You are a person of character and integrity. You’ve always sought to be a loyal
and loving daughter but here your dad has treated you callously. He has always
loved and supported you but he is driven by his sexual compulsions.
I think that you need to turn your attention to your teaching career in order to
become personally and financially independent. You know that you need to get a
job teaching in the public school system as you will never make any decent money
teaching in private schools. You have to do whatever it takes to secure a decent
job even if it means going back to school to get an advanced degree, an MA.
You have the rest of your life ahead of you so throw yourself into your career
and things will open up for you and brighter days will follow.
Best,
Bob
=================
Kelly’s Response:
He raises a good point when he says my dad is no more a sex addict than I am.
Well, am I? I have certainly been accused of it in the past, not to mention
being labeled a nymphomaniac amongst other things which I wouldn't mention in
civilized company. What do you think?
********************************************************************************
From: Samuel Jones <sonyboy1256@yahoo.com
Sent: Thu, February 25, 2010 10:40:21 PM
Hey Kelly,
Read your last entry, that was a powerful one. I am sorry that your dad let you
done, sort of. You've always written that you loved to have sex with him
because you were his daughter and it was your responsibility, because you loved
him... I’ve always thought that these people who write their "stories" on your
site don't get what you perceive to be a "good" incestual relationship. But now
it seems like you dad was more like these guys who steal their daughter’s
panties and cum on them... not because they love them, but because they are just
horny old men... not much love there.
I hope that you are doing better, I’d imagine that was hard for you to put down
into words.
Sam
=================
Kelly’s Response:
I don't know if my dad “let me down” so much as “led me on.” Even then, it
wasn't that he didn't love me or respect me, the scales were just tilted far
more to the “lust” side than I’d ever imagined. So far as I know, my dad never
stole my panties or anything like guys on my web site do with their daughters;
but then he didn't have to since he always had the “real” thing available to him
– me whereas the guys on my site can only fantasize about having sex with their
daughters. Sure, my dad was horny but then, aren’t all men?
********************************************************************************
From: Drew Tenner <drewtenner@gmail.com
Sent: Thu, February 25, 2010 9:24:21 PM
Kelly,
That is a lot to take in. I hope no one hassles you about the 'scenario'. You
were always up front that some things were embellished. I can't imagine how
many different things are going on right now. Best wishes.
=================
Kelly’s Response:
Yes, I have always tried to be honest what is true and what is not on my site,
even when the “true” stuff is not 10% accurate I’ve tried to make that clear.
You would think people would understand why I protect my privacy but there are
still those out there that seem to expect me to publish my name and address and
phone number before they believe me.
********************************************************************************
From: Jonathan Holland <jonholland71@yahoo.com
Sent: Fri, February 26, 2010 9:40:23 AM
Dear Kelly
How are you. I read your latest post where you talk about your mom and dad and
growing up. I don't really know what to say about it all. I can't imagine the
turmoil you must be going through. I am definitely praying for you. I you want
to talk you can. I maybe don't have any special insight but I care and I can
listen. Also I am a Christian. Regardless you are in my thoughts and prayers and
I hope things go well for you. Take care.
Fondly,
Jonathan
=================
Kelly’s Response:
It never hurts to have someone pray for you! Thank God for my faith as it’s
what helps me get through times like this.
********************************************************************************
From: sean alif <seani69@hotmail.com
Sent: Fri, February 26, 2010 3:00:14 PM
Dear Kelly,
We had exchanged a few emails about a year ago. I haven't emailed for a while
due to some personal issues which has kept me occupied. I have, however,
visited your site from time to time.
I just read your last entry, "Revelations". To say that I felt devastated
would not be much of an exaggeration. It is funny how we develop emotional
attachment to people who we have only read about, have never met, & never will,
and may not even exist in the real world! I apologize for the last statement. I
DO believe that you are "real" but I am talking about cyber-world in general.
As I was saying, I felt very sad for you and strangely enough on a personal
level too. Reading all that about your mom, I had developed a great deal of
admiration, respect & affection for who she was & how she was. I was quite
offended by Maria's ( I think ) most degrading & humiliating story about your
mom and cheered when you kicked her out. You always wrote about your mom with
such love & devotion and about your dad too. Their marital relationship seemed
ideal. I guess it was too good to be true. Still, based upon what I read, I
had formed an idealistic vision of your parents. Now, it is like a fairy tale
exposed, like a temple destroyed!
Please forgive me for looking at it from my personal perspective. By no means
am I trying to ignore or belittle your loss. That is a given! and you have
expressed it quite eloquently in your diary. You must feel SO devastated,
perhaps cheated, for all those facts which were kept hidden from you for so
long. I feel for you and pray that you can cope with it the best way possible.
I know you will!
Funny thing, reading this last post, I kept hoping that maybe someone has hacked
into your site and has written this fake diary. I am still hoping for that but,
sadly, the writing style of this post is very similar to the others. So, I am
afraid it is genuine. :(
Btw, do you know why your mom has severed her contacts with you? To me, it is a
puzzle. She has some genuine issues with your dad but why any anger towards
you?
I was going to say some things about your dad but I don't think you need to hear
that. Plus, this email is already too long and you are probably ready to doze
off. :)
Sean
=================
Kelly’s Response:
I do feel touched at times at how people who have followed me over the years
react to me. After all, I’ve been telling people about some of the most
intimate and special times of my life for almost seven years now! I just wish
more people who have been reading about me over the years would get in touch
with me too.
********************************************************************************
From: sean alif <seani69@hotmail.com
Sent: Mon, March 1, 2010 2:47:04 AM
Hello again, :)
I respect your wishes about not judging your dad harshly. Plus, who am I to
judge anyway? I have more than my share of faults & sins, I couldn't possibly
cast any stones. You are, undoubtedly, a very smart women ( not to mention
gorgeous & incredibly sexy ) so you know exactly what has taken place in your
life.
You took an exceptionally bold step by revealing everything with such candor. I
bet that there are plenty of your readers who are waging their fingers,
assigning blames and spitting out all kinds of advice. I just want to support
you in however you feel & whatever you do. I only hope that it does not
embitter you much and you continue to love your parents & continue to thrill us
horny bastards & bitches here. Haha.
Do you think your mom may have had some strong resentments towards you because
of your close sexual relationship with your dad? I get the sense that your mom
was never in favor your dad fucking you. She was afraid that it may be
inevitable but she delayed it as long as she could. I think her precondition
that " only when she wants it & initiates it" was based on a hope that you will
never initiate it. When that did take place, she was disappointed & resentful.
These feelings only intensified with the continued strong love/sex bond between
the two of you even into your adult life ( novelty did NOT wear off ).
Although your dad fucked quite a few other women, he did not love them, not even
Linda, they he loved you. So, YOU became the "other woman" & the object of her
jealousy & resentment. It was your "fault" because you "initiated" it.
Btw, may I ask you why you decided not to post any more of your chats? I love
to read them, especially the ones with Kay ( Kay_slut)
You know something? I have not seen a picture of either you or your mom ( or
anyone else ) but you paint such a vivid picture in words that it is easy to
imagine how beautiful you and your mom must be, both inside & out... not to
mention unbelievably sexy! It is hard not to love you guys.
Really?? not many comment about chats? Wonder why? Well, I am glad to be in
the minority who love, LOVE your chats. I dare say that I get even more "turn
on " from them than most stories ( not talking about your diary entries). I
guess probably because the chats seem more real. I know, I know, they are not
any more real than the stories but it is easy to get into the "live chat". I
guess, I am not making much sense here, am I? lol
Now, I know you are going to ask me what I liked most & what I liked the least.
Well, the most I think would be your chats with Kay. The one where you two had
almost cybersex, OH MY GOD! ;) That made me cum! :p
The least liked has to be some chats where you appear to be coaxing a dad to do
things to his VERY young kids. Just not my thing. I find it a total turn off.
Of course, it is just fantasy. I strongly doubt any of them would actually DO
anything but still.....
Do you still chat with Kay? If not, why not? Do you think I could try to
contact her?
Kelly, I love your site but more than that, I LOVE to communicate with you. I
thank you for answering my emails even though they are pretty "vanilla" & not
very interesting. You are amazing & truly one of a kind! :)
Love,
Sean
=================
Kelly’s Response:
I don't post many chats any more because frankly, there are not that many that I
think people would care to read and it’s a lot of work to download and format
them to make the readable.
********************************************************************************
From: Jules Peterson <pjules69@yahoo.com
Sent: Sat, February 27, 2010 2:07:52 AM
Hi Kelly,
I am the 30-something male who calls himself a straight pedo and sent his survey
a few weeks ago. This email took a good deal of time plus you may find some
harsh words at the end. I hope I didn't go to far with them. I felt hurt of some
things you wrote and had problems with a bad habit of yours.
I just finished reading your latest diary entry. To be honest, my feelings are
somewhere between disappointment and anger. But I know that will cool down, its
like your reaction to your dad when you stormed out but got a different mood
later.
I just hope that you work your open mind in the direction of the evil "p" word.
Prejudices are common but that doesn't make them more reasonable. Its not Nazi
Germany and its not the 18th and 19th century where slavery was "normal". It's
not school and you are the fat one everybody picks on. Its 2010 and one would
think that prejudices got old fashioned. For example: Why make such a HUGE
difference between a slut (what accidentally you call yourself) and a whore
(what accidentally you don't call yourself). People tent to draw a line at their
own limits. Everything beyond is just not tolerable or even worse -disgusting.
Is there really such a huge difference between being a slut and being a whore (a
happy at that when it comes to Kristi’s past) that it makes flames, name-calling
and picking (?) justifiable?
Why to bring up this old story? Because I want to tell you 'through the flower'
that I think your daddy is still going to heaven when his time comes. Everything
I read about him and everything I know from my experiences with the self-help
group and the people I met there (people I met in person, not online!) tells me
this. Forget the news. Forget the online world. Instead think of his tongue and
what it does to your pussy.
You should really work on your opinion here. It will not be a good idea if you
tolerate him just because he is your daddy. Its not good for the karma. Ask your
grandma, she had to deal with real abuse (so when you think it is abuse then you
will end up just like her). Just remember what good times you had with him and
try to be open, tolerant. Don't throw away a happy childhood for common
prejudices. Maybe ask Kristi more about her upbringing. More details and what
she thinks of certain things now. "You should really work on your opinion here.
It will not be a good idea if you tolerate him just because he is your daddy"
After I finished your latest diary entry I just wanted to be removed from you
site as soon as possible. A very important argument to write you in the first
place was that I thought you would be less brainwashed in my particular
direction then the norm. Well it is true, but its not nearly as open minded as I
first hoped you were. When I read through the diary entries and chats and what
else you have there, there were always ups and downs but in the end I thought
you would tolerate me. Your answers were always polite or even encouraging to
write more.
Over time I learned that you would be disgusted by the age alone if it fell
under your "limit". I now belief that you even think that young children cannot
have orgasms not to speak of positive experiences with adults. Well I am not
sure for the later because of different reasons, but I can assure you of the
first one. I did for as long as I remember and I sure didn't stop until I
reached an orgasm. Ask Kristi about this.
Anyway, I came to the conclusion that asking you to remove my stuff would send
the wrong message. I don't comment this further, but I am happy that another
opinion (my stuff) is out there in the big wide world for anyone to read. Its
not the ultimate world changing conclusion and I may be wrong in some/more cases
and I sure am not the best writer and writing in a foreign language doesn't help
either but at least I am happy that there is something different.
And, and that’s the important part, I still love you! Even if your open-mindness
doesn't reach my territory, its a WORLD more then most people would tolerate.
The following excerptions hurt my feelings so I had to comment them directly.
The comments may sound harsh but I don't care. I think you deserved it here.
"Sexual addiction is a disease, not something a man can control. Even though I
realize now that my dad is a true sex addict, I respect him for having tamed
most of his “needs” while I grew up out of love for my mother and me."
What makes him different then you? You masturbate at least 2 times a day and
don't mind a 2 hour pussy-licking from Kristi. Where is the line? I masturbate
1-2 times a day too, am I still healthy or do I have this sexual addiction
disease myself? This is not meant to offend you. I really don't understand why
you put yourself in a position where you can point to someone else who is
slightly different (well, is he at all? don't you need it just the same?). It
sounds like you are mother Theresa and he is a bad demon directly from hell.
Pointing isn't nice, especially when you are not so much away lust-wise. What is
the point in pointing anyway? Does it make it easier for you and your own
demons?
If you think that his porn differs the two of you than I can only say: Look in
the mirror girl. Look at your page, look at the tributes, look at the chats.
Look at all the TIME you spent there and god knows where else.
To conclude: if you think your father should be healed than you say the same
about yourself. (a disease is curable, right?). If that’s what you think than
its ok. What I don't like is the pointing.
"..and pedophile so she had to realize that sooner or later he was going to have
me - one way or another."
This is just evil. How can you sleep with such thoughts in your head? If I were
your father I would have a really HARD time to forgive you this. Maybe you
should leave his life so you really don't end up like your grandmother, having
to live with guilt for tolerating things that are not tolerable in your opinion.
Maybe ask HIM about an advise. And your mom too.
Well anyway, keep your head up high Kelly. Everybody has their issues. Like you
said, life will never be the same again but never forget that its you who live
your future. You ARE a wonderful person and I don't see any reason why you
shouldn't learn from this to improve your life. Your daddy still loves you and
ALLWAYS will no matter what.
luv
Jules
=================
Kelly’s Response:
Wow, what can I say to something like this? What CAN say is that in a way I
feel vindicated in that I have always tried to be open minded when it comes to
other people’s lifestyles and beliefs and fantasies. Hopefully this just goes
to show that just because someone disagrees with me I don't censor them or
otherwise berate them personally. I’m not shy to say when I disagree, but at
the same time that’s MY opinion and not a judgment of the person.
Note he wrote me back after this was posted...
********************************************************************************
From: Jules Peterson <pjules69@yahoo.com
To: Kelly Wells <pghkelly@yahoo.com
Sent: Sun, March 7, 2010 6:04:00 PM
Subject: Re: Diary
Hi Kelly,
when I read the other responses to your revelation entry I felt like a troll.
Most people focus on you and how you must feel now, even offering that you can
talk to them anytime and such things. This is how I like to be myself but I am
no machine and I try to learn. I know you like guys who know what they want, be
strong and confident. I am not. I read accusations and judgment where you tried
to realize and analyze things. I felt accused myself in my sexuality and wrote
a letter out of that perspective. Now I am sitting here like a boy who knows he
didn't handle things right and feels kind of embarrassed. I tried to give
support too ("I know your daddy is going to heaven" etc.) but my misinterpreting
you and my harsh tone turned this mail in a direction I wish I could make
undone.
Sorry Kelly!
Jules
=================
Kelly’s Response:
********************************************************************************
From: Tom Wells <t.w.wells@hotmail.com
Sent: Sun, February 28, 2010 4:10:32 AM
Hi Kelly,
I read your story on "Revelation" and learned a few things.
Let's just say, "I'm naive, too." You refer to yourself as "clueless." Well,
what I have found out in life that naive people are usually the honest, trusting
people. The kind of people that are good.
I will say, I liked you enough to research your "Mom's" death, but I learned a
lot about that spectrum. Only because, I liked you. Anyway, it was a death in
a way to the family, so that kind of a lie, on this website is acceptable.
Really, I wonder how many people reading your website think everything is true,
false, or guess, really what it is all about. For awhile, I thought your
website was to find pedophiles for the police. (It still might be.) I'm not
sure!
Let's just say, I think about all your writing. I'm an old writer too. I
don't write about sex, that's way yours is so interesting.
All I want to say is that you should go talk to your Mom. It sounds like she
has been through a lot. At first, I would say, " Mom, I just wanted to see
you." Take everything easy until she tells you. For her to make such a drastic
move; she had reasons; I give her credit; there is only so much time on this
planet and she hit this level.
She has a lot of wisdom to tell you. Maybe in time. All I can say, don't hold
grudges, talk to her, if she doesn't want to talk, give it a rest, and try
another day.
We are like trees! We grow up! But the older trees have a lot of wisdom.
Mother's have a role of teaching there children. Her walking out was for you
and her.
Love yah,
==============
Kelly’s Response:
Some interesting comments. Take for instance the point about his researching my
mother’s “death”. Is it any wonder I take my privacy so seriously. I am sure
many people have tried to find clues in my diary as to my real identity which is
why I am so careful about it.
********************************************************************************
From: "fishman_6101@hush.ai" <fishman_6101@hush.ai
Sent: Mon, March 1, 2010 10:34:22 PM
Kelly,
We have chatted a few times over the years and I did a few tributes.
I always love reading your site, stories, chats etc.
Your update on revelations is hard to read, knowing how much you have done and
loved over the years with your dad. It just takes my breath away why in the
world did he need to tell you that. What is the benefit except to hurt you?
Just know this Kelly while I'm not family just a fan like many others I care and
appreciate what you have shared with me and made me so happy for over 4-5 years
at least.
Always remember that many people do care about you.
=================
Kelly’s Response:
I don’t think my dad had any intention to hurt me or he could have told me
everything long before then. Eventually it had to come out and I guess I’m glad
it did so at least I can deal with it. Wow, 4-5 years? I wish people would
write me sooner!
********************************************************************************
From: Random Tourist <randomtourist@gmail.com
Sent: Tue, March 2, 2010 2:36:51 AM
I just read your latest diary entry. Due to your admittance of previous "lies"
maybe I should take this with a grain of salt. But I understand your position.
I am going to just assume the gist of this is true and go from there.
My thoughts are with you. You find yourself in an uncomfortable position of
having to re-evaluate your life and what you thought you knew. You still have
questions. It is not clear what type of relationship exists with your mother. I
would suggest you talk with her. Preferably with a visit. It is never a bad time
to try and rebuild your relationship with family. You are an adult and should be
able to have a calm conversation which helps you to further understand things.
I would suggest from what I have read that she made decisions to protect you. I
will not speculate on why the final decision was made and neither should you
when it is possible to get the real answer.
The simple answer is that you were used. You realize it now and it doesn't feel
good no matter how you rationalize it. I think your question about the age of
the "others" casts light on something in the back of your mind also. You are a
teacher now. You understand how easily young minds can be swayed and directed.
What if they don't have a parent who has the long term well-being of the child
at the forefront when making decisions? Someone like your mother.
I hope that through introspection and further answers you reach the peace we all
deserve.
I have a little saying, “When you close you eyes what do you see? What might
have been, or what's going to be?”
Be good and do the right thing.
ps
I realize we don't know each other. I am sure you have good friends to confide
in. But if you need anyone to talk to who isn't so close to things I am here.
I know you might think it inappropriate, but I am would be willing to listen and
talk on the phone also. Just putting it out there.
=================
Kelly’s Response:
My first reaction as I read this was a little indignation at the accusatory
tone, but then it mellowed out somewhat and my blood pressure subsided. Was I
used? Of course I was but we all use other people whether we like to admit it
or not.
********************************************************************************
From: Chris Taylor <ctaylor1946@yahoo.com
Sent: Tue, March 2, 2010 12:46:29 PM
Kelly:
I was really surprised by the recent (February 14th) entry to your diary. I had
been touched by the news you put out about the death of your mother and how you
and your father coped with the situation. I know how it feels to lose a parent.
Then the news that your mother was not only alive, but that your parents had
divorced was a big shock. The further revelation of your father's misleading
need for your young body really caught me off guard. It must have taken a great
deal of courage and trust in your readers to write that entry. You must know
that there are thousands out here who really have connected with you and are
wishing you strength to deal with your life. We are praying for you and hoping
that you will be able to deal with this new period of your life.
May God bless you and keep you,
Chris
=================
Kelly’s Response:
One of the benefits of being relatively “anonymous” on my web site is that I
feel free to express my views and talk about myself in ways I never would if the
people reading it actually knew me and I had to face them personally. It was
more concern over what people would say than any courage on my part. It is hard
to comprehend sometimes that so many people out there actually follow my web
site and life!
********************************************************************************
From: wylodmayer <wylodmayer@gmail.com
Sent: Wed, March 3, 2010 6:08:17 PM
Kelly,
I've been a fan for a long time, but never before "Revelations" have I been
moved to write. I know that authors enjoy feedback, and so I do feel somewhat
bad about not expressing to you the enjoyment I've gotten from your site over
the years, but the honest truth of it is that I'm just not usually expressive in
that way. Nonetheless, I feel that the time is right to write to you.
I'm quite certain that "Revelations," though well written, can only communicate
only a fraction of the distress you felt upon learning what you did. That your
father was not completely honest with you over the years seems undeniable. Of
course, if your other diary entries show any of the truth of him at all, it
seems likewise undeniable that he does care about you. Still, I can only
imagine how you feel having learned that your parents' relationship with each
other and, indeed, your father's relationship with you were not what you
thought.
That said, I have only the following to offer.
Don't beat yourself up too much for not seeing your father as he really was;
it's so often hard to see our parents as real people, with all the human foibles
and faults, rather than as sort of omnipresent entities of some sort. As
someone who's lost his father, I urge that as angry and upset with him as you
are right now, try to remember, too, that he does love you.
I also hope that this experience doesn't lead you to give up on familial incest
as a way of life. I've never had that experience, but I believe in it firmly;
someday, perhaps, I will meet someone else who does, too.
Finally, I hope you don't see yourself as anything other than a supremely
desirable young woman, a woman who is not only sexy but smart and poised and
talented, as well (if your diary entries are any indication, anyway!). Finding
out that your father would rather have sex with younger girls must be a blow, I
understand, but there are as many different preferences as there are people on
this earth, and you shouldn't ever think that you are undesirable because just
one man prefers something else. Besides, if his lines in your diary entry are
representative of his actual feelings, then I'd say that he still thinks you're
pretty hot, too, whatever else he might like.
I've read your diary and your fantasies, followed your links and just generally
acquainted myself with your life - or at least the parts of it you show on the
web - over the years. I know I don't know you, but I feel as if I know
something about your life, and what little I do know has engendered in me no
small amount of, well, fondness for you. We must all deal with disappointment
and hardship in this life, but if it is possible that my letter can assuage your
distress in even some small way, I will feel as if I've done something
worthwhile here.
Best wishes always,
LWS
==============
Kelly’s Response:
I often wonder how many people out there would like to write me but never do for
one reason or another. He is right about how it is nice to get feedback and to
hear from people as to how they react to what they read. Sometimes I feel like
nobody is reading anything or cares about me so why am I bothering? So it was
nice to hear from a “first-timer”.
Final note: So do you have anything to add to the “conversation”. Was I wrong
to lie about my mother’s “death” in lieu of admitting to my parent’s divorce? I
still think I did the right thing but maybe you disagree with me. As I
mentioned, it’s nice to get feedback so please feel to offer your comments and
suggestions.
********************************************************************************
From: Ben <57267x@googlemail.com
Sent: Sat, March 6, 2010 10:00:23 PM
Subject: Revelations.
Dear Kelly,
I read your diary entry, Revelations, and it has haunted me for days now. My
heart goes out to you. I was about 22 when the truth came out and I discovered
that my father was a pedophile and had sexually abused my sister for 9 years,
from the time she was 5 until she was 14. I had the "good fortune" of only being
subjected to beatings and constant psychological abuse.
Back then my job was to be the model child to support the family’s front of
normalcy and provide my parents with a sop for their conscience.
I can truly understand your anger and that terrible feeling of having a veil
lifted from your eyes. All of a sudden your entire life and childhood are cast
in an entirely different and thoroughly unwelcome light. Sometimes I felt like
everything made so much more sense, at other times my childhood seemed like
something bizarrely reflected in distorted fun-house mirrors.
On a side note, telling the truth about your father, revealing your parents’
divorce and the lie about your mother’s death does the same thing with your
entire diary. All of a sudden everything changes. Although I value honesty, I
think that you did the right thing for you when you wrote that your mother had
died rather than telling the tale of their divorce. However, I sincerely hope
that you contact your mother again. Having been estranged from both my parents I
know how important it is to rebuild at least some form of bridge. Yet, having
said that, it also takes two to tango. I discovered that you can only achieve so
much, especially when people (our parents and family, for example) would rather
bury the truth or bend it to suit themselves. Your mileage may vary.
One thing I truly respect is the fact that you have the integrity to say that
you still love your father. In the face of things like this, both love and
forgiveness are definitely the roads less traveled. That is something else that
I understand only too well. Too many people are too quick to condemn and too few
are willing to look deeper, understand and forgive. It took me a long time to
accept the fact that, despite everything, I still loved my father and even went
on to forgive him. It is very hard to hate someone or something that you
understand so well.
My own experiences with incest have been a lot less fun than your own. That,
combined with the way I was raised and discovering that the man I identified so
strongly with was a pedophile left me with a lot of unhappy baggage when it came
to my own sexuality, but that's a happy (not to mention hot) tale for another
time. I mention the baggage because reading your diary and your thoughts once
helped me to reflect on and change my own approach to my sexuality. Thanks.
I hope you come through this ok.
Love,
Ben.
PS: Hug also from my grateful wife: Ain't family grand?
=================
Kelly’s Response:
Well, if there is one thing I learned, even when you THINK you have a good
incestual relationship there can still be problems so it’s not surprising when
others have issues at well.
********************************************************************************
From: J P <memphisman2000@gmail.com
Sent: Sat, March 6, 2010 11:24:53 PM
Subject: Gone but back again...
Kelly...
I first off would like to apologize for my previous actions... When we last
spoke, you sent me some photos for tributes but I was unable to...
Complications of a professional nature arose, ensued, and have now been
overcome... If you still wish for these tributes, well I feel it would be only
right to send them... But only if you wish...
Anyway, first off... I'm happy that you didn't lose your mom to death as you
had previously written... I was at first puzzled at why you chose that option
vice speaking the truth... However, after reading your "Revelations", I can
understand why you did... You wanted your privacy and while I had known when I
first began this website that some of the stuff you wrote were not accurate for
several reasons (i.e. your privacy, to speed along the story, etc.) and I
digress... Bottom line is that you can count one more fan in the "support"
column...
I do have two question... I understand in advance if you choose not to answer
but I would like to understand a couple of things... Have you had any contact
with your mom following "Revelations"? I think you're mom's feelings and
thoughts may be more revealing to you and I'm curious to hear them, vice what
your dad has said about her actions on the matter... If nothing else, remember
that when all else is lost, family is all we have left (but I think you already
know that)... The second question is if you have talked to your Aunt since?
She obviously was the one that forced this to a head...
I understand a lot of what you said in your journal entry and while I've never
tried to pass judgment on writings (since it's always been my experience that I
cannot comment on stuff I have not experienced myself), I would like to offer a
couple of thoughts:
- I don't think you were "naive"... In my humble opinion, you were "blinded"
by love... In other words, you trusted your dad and thought what he was doing
was the right way, despite not seeing his true intentions until he laid them
out... Personally, I think you are too hard on yourself and too easy on your
dad...
- I once thought your dad a lucky bastard... I think he's more of a deceptive
one now to have led you along as he did... And now that his "control" (i.e.
your mom and their marriage) is out of the picture, I'm concerned not only for
what he may do, but what may happen because of it... I hope for your sake, you
take some steps to protect yourself...
- You have questions and I personally think you have every right to find them
out for, if nothing else, your own knowledge and I hope you do... You may not
get any answers and the ones you do get may not be to your liking, but I hope
you do...
I hope I have crossed no lines and hope you do find brighter days ahead... Keep
your head up... Life may suck but that's why we grab helmets... Take care and
look forward to hearing from you...
Joe
=================
Kelly’s Response:
I answered his questions but I hope others are not thinking my dad is a bad
person. He has issues like any man does and I love him very much.
********************************************************************************
From: Sam <samrwb@yahoo.com
Sent: Sun, March 7, 2010 7:43:47 AM
Subject: Recent Story
Dear Kelly,
We've chatted a few times, its been a while since we chatted though. I'm sorry
to hear about your recent experience with your dad. Not only was he your dad,
but he was also a loving figure in your life, and it almost has the feel of a
guy/girl that you care deeply about, telling you that you're not enough. I'm
truly sorry that you experienced that. I do forgive you by the way with telling
us that your mother died, I'm glad it didn’t actually happen, and it’s your
choice what to tell us and let us in on your life, after all it’s your journal
so you don't even have to tell us anything. I hope things are going better for
you, and I hope to chat again with you sometime soon.
Ciao bella,
Sam
==============
Kelly’s Response:
Well, at least he forgave me!
********************************************************************************
From: Rebecca Shafer <poltera1978@yahoo.com
Sent: Tue, March 9, 2010 2:05:06 AM
Subject: I'm a Fan!
Dear Kelly,
My name is Rebecca, and normally I try to avoid the whole, sending emails to
people because I'm sure they get a lot of emails and don't need to read another
one. But you mentioned that you like feed back, so I thought I'd put in my two
cents. For what its worth, I hope my insight helps you, assuming that the
details I have gathered thus far are accurate.
The wonderful part about your upbringing was that it taught you to not be
ashamed of one of the most natural things in the world. Sex, love, affection.
The whole fundamental concept (in theory) is that you love your family, its
pleasurable, its not hurting anyone as long as its consensual, which is what I
think your mother was really trying to enforce. And if you think about it,
you'll understand why and you will thank her for it. Granted I think she should
have made it clear to EVERYONE involved that it was your decision, but that’s
me.
I live with a small family of two men. I love and support the two men. If that
means that they require "pillowing," I am more than happy to oblige. I see it as
my duty. Women are the heart of the home. What better way to say, I love you,
than to give pleasure and surrender completely to them. To say, I love you, and
accept you, no matter what. I think that’s pretty moral. I don't say this to
compare my situation to yours, only so that you can see that we are kindred
spirits of sorts.
I know I'm getting long winded here so I'll try to wrap this up. I'm not known
to be succinct. Although I am known to be a HORRIBLE speller. My point is this.
You have some difficult questions to ask yourself. And I want to really
encourage you to sit down and write out some rules and morals. Things YOU
believe in. Was it right for your mother to make sure you had a voice, a RIGHT
to choose whether or not you wanted the relationship with no pressure of
Parental pleasure/displeasure ? Was it right of her to not inform you that it
was your choice and what your father wanted?
Ultimately, only you can decide what is right and wrong. Stay strong in your
beliefs, and this too shall pass. I'd give you a hug if I could hun.
Sincerely,
Rebecca
=================
Kelly’s Response:
One of the few female responses. I wasn’t sure how to respond to this one. How
would YOU have responded?
20100305 Revelation Responses