Subject: Muse About Duane – Fan Feedback
Story Codes: nosex
Author: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
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!!!WARNING!!!!
This file contains sexually explicit material which may include graphic
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Summary
=======
I received some very nice replies to my "Muse" entry. Here are some of
them. What do you all think? Lots of different opinions, which one do I
go with, if any of them?
*******************************
From: sandra allan <redblueorgreens@gmail.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Sent: Monday, September 15, 2008 4:33:39 PM
Subject: duane
I can't imagine someone hasn't already said this but... just in case.
I think the biggest thing is to ask him what he thinks of the overall
topic. Like if you know his opinions on the subject, you can move
forward. There are a million things in relationships like this. But if
a guy hates dancing, you'll never get him into Salsa.
However, if he's not into dancing, you might suggest that there are other
Things similar to it that he wouldn't reject and gradually pull him in
further. After all, he wants to chase you down whatever road you go down
... you just have to make the route easier and give him time.
I don't think waiting until he's in a "condition" to better agree is the
best way to go. If he rejects the idea later, he might feel manipulated.
-redbluegreen
*******************************
From: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
To: all_for_girls_dr@yahoo.com
Sent: Saturday, September 13, 2008 9:59:02 AM
Re: telling Duane
Heather,
Well, it seems everyone thinks it's a bad idea to tell him after sex -
even some of the guys who wrote. I guess I won't then, even though I
still think it would be a nice time to do it.
Last night I went to my dad's office as soon as school was over. My mom
and a few others have pointed out to me that I have been ignoring him
lately which sort of shocked me as I hadn't realized what I apparently
had been doing. It's been a long time since I did anything special for
him at work so I thought it would be a great way to make up for being so
bad. Well, long story VERY short, I think I made him happy! It ended up
being an entire evening with my dad, dinner and all.
Everyone is pushing me to tell Duane but I am so scared. I've NEVER had
to make a decision this big and frankly, I don’t know what to do. I'll
work it out but in the meantime, I just have to hope he doesn't propose -
now THAT is sort of a twist, isn't it?
How are things with you? Been masturbating a lot lately? I think you
are a lot hotter and sensual than you try to let on.
Love you,
Kelly
*******************************
From: Heather Farow <all_for_girls_dr@yahoo.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Sent: Friday, September 12, 2008 8:26:55 PM
Subject: telling Duane
Don’t tell him during before or after sex.... it might be easier on you
and sure he might take the news better
but it won’t be taken seriously and you won’t get how he truly feels.
He might agree to something just cause he getting some at the moment and
then he won’t express how he really feels about it later.
Sit him down and try to have a serious convo about it. I know it’s
harder but at least this way you get to know right away what he thinks of
your participation with your family.
Heather
*******************************
From: JG <wild_but_reformed@yahoo.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Date: Fri, 12 Sep 2008 15:32:30
Subject: Mad men
This will be a short email. Do not tell Duane while holding his dick or
right after sex I for one as a guy know most men do not think straight in
this scenario and you can get them to agree to something they regret
later. I would just tell him on a normal day.
Joseph
*******************************
From: Jonathan Holland <jonholland71@yahoo.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Date: Fri, 12 Sep 2008 8:42:21
Subject: advice re: Duane
Dear Kelly
I've read your most recent entries about Duane being with your aunt and
cousin and how you felt about it. All in all I'd have to say there are
positive signs about him accepting you and your family. It can't be
guaranteed of course even now but it looks promising. My advice still is
to be completely straight-forward. I think the idea of telling him during
or immediately after sex is a bit manipulative. I'm sorry but it would
kind of obviously be buttering him up. Afterwards he'll realize that and
probably be a little resentful of the fact, no matter how smooth it goes
at first. Like I've said before it's better to plan for a positive
reaction. If things go well you've laid the foundation for a long and
happy future. If things go poorly you can only react the best you can. On
the other hand if you plan it assuming the worst then you've starting
things off on a poor footing. I guess more than anything else I'd say
that with every decision you make don't just think of that occasion or
the next day or two but be deliberately thinking about how it will affect
the rest of your life because it profoundly does.
I haven't forgotten about your request for a story. I will do that and
I'm sorry I'm being slow. Things aren't good on my end. The most recent
bad news is that one of my grandmothers is terminally ill. It might be
days. There's other things too but I'm sure you don't want a list.
Suffice it to say I'm very far from my best. I'll write that when I can
but hopefully we can write some until then just about life. I really hope
that things so very well for you and Duane. Take care of your yourself
and I hope to hear from you soon.
your friend,
Jonathan
*******************************
From: Bill Jones <magictouchguyaltbox@yahoo.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Sent: Thursday, September 11, 2008 11:53:29 AM
Subject: Sorry to hear about Duane's "conduct"
Kelly,
I'll keep this short, since you're now signaling (on the site) that
you're getting lots of mostly-useless advice... I don't WANT to add to
that, but here goes anyway...
OK, he knows. He didn't freak. It seems clear that if he were to be
offered a shot at your Mom, he'd be on her without (much of) a fight.
from that, he has NO business getting upset about you and your
intentions, after marriage (if he does, he's a selfish asshole, and good
riddance - tough love, girl!)
Sad to say (as a man), the issue is that he's a cheater...Set aside the
foolish belief that your slutty cousin promised not to tell, and whether
or not he should have believed that. The issue is that if he loves you,
deeply and in a way that will accept sacrifice over time (and take it
from me, ALL marriages do!), can YOU trust HIM to be there, be honest,
and be loyal, within the "unusual" bounds of your family's love...?
If you told him tomorrow, he'd be relieved, and (I now know) think it's
great. He'd perhaps hurry up and want to marry, to remove the "ambiguity"
before he gets back into Linda, Kristi, etc...The question is, would he
stop there, and honor YOUR boundaries, and if he DID stray, would he lie
and conceal to cover it up...
SO, my current "free advice" (which is worth EXACTLY what you're paying
for it): Confront him (privately). Seek to understand his true feelings
about doing it, and being "caught"... Be discerning - and ask just one
question... "Do I STILL TRUST him?" - not love - trust is different.
Love will GET you married, but only TRUST will KEEP you married...
Good luck, sweetie - however it turns out.
XO,
Bill
*******************************
From: Cynthia Moore <sissy.4894@yahoo.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Sent: Wednesday, September 10, 2008 4:38:07 PM
Subject: Re: Duane
Hi Kelly,
Anxious to get that new letter.
I did read one chat you had with Ms Farow. Or is that Dr. Farow? That
was how I got her address and decided to write to her. But, no, I
haven't heard anything from her yet. And I haven't caught her on line to
chat. Do really think she would chat with me? I want to go back and
read more from her. Do you think I might be able to study hard in that
area and someday work in her field? I would like helping young girls
like you said she does. It has been so interesting and feels so good to
try helping Amy the way I have. Maybe that could be my calling. In
Amy's case, I really don't think I am helping her much except to be a
friend. She really needs that. And I like being her friend. It kind of
makes me feel needed and good for something.
Now down to business.
Mom and I read your account of the latest things with Duane. Very, Very
Hot!
I had a lot of observations go through my sexy little head while reading
it. Let me see if I can get them all down.
First, when you marry this guy, you have some new things to work out.
Are you going to start doing anal for the man you love? It seems that he
wants that with you. Understand, he had just fucked Kristi's ass hole
but he WANTED yours. That's a pretty big hint as to his preferences if
you ask me. If you still have an aversion to anal, then you at least
have a convenient outlet for your man's needs in that department.
Knowing that his fabulous dick would come home afterward. Home to the
one he loves, not just one he is horny for.
You said these were reports from Kristi and her mom as well as your mom.
Well, all the way through it, you can see (at least I can) that his
primary interest is in YOU. That is their point of view. Just think
about it. He has all this fabulous sex with a very hot mother and
daughter, but he wants YOU. Now doesn't that tell you something? This
guy is in love with you. Even if his lustful male ego gets him into a
situation like this with the others. He WANTS YOU!
Be glad he is a very sexy, and very capable lover. You can have the best
of all worlds with him. Do it, girl. Do it. Tell him about you and
your dad. With what I just read, I expect he might even get turned on by
the idea and you may have to soften that raging hard dick before he can
calm down enough to put that ring on your finger.
I am glad my mom is not into those toys. I don't want her getting me one
like your aunt gave Kristi. She can have that. Not for me.
As for him not telling you right away about that little escapade, have
you told him about that jewelry store girl? Well, remember this. He
wasn't in her store shopping for your aunt nor your cousin.
It is eating you up inside that you cannot seem to bring yourself to tell
Duane about you and your dad. Well, just do it. It seems to me that
that would help clear up a lot of things between you. And maybe, just
maybe solidify your relationship.
Kelly, it looks to me like the ball is in your court, as they say. Now,
do you want his balls in your court for the rest of your life, or not?
Not every girl gets a proven porn stud like the one you wrote about.
Just think of the scenes you could have with your very own porn stud.
There is lots more I thought about while reading what you wrote, but I
cannot think of them right now. Maybe I will say more on those later. I
will go back and read again.
For now, just make up your mind about telling him. I think he might want
you even more when he learns what you have to share with him about you.
You love him. And he loves you. Right? Do it.
Aside. I heard Mom going in the boys' room with them just now. I think
I will peek in.
Love you,
Sissy
*******************************
From: Denise Moore <denimoore@yahoo.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Sent: Wednesday, September 10, 2008 4:24:18 PM
Subject: Diary
Hi Kelly.
Well, Sissy and I read what you wrote about this incident with Duane and
Kristi and Linda. If I were reading it for the sex, I could have gotten
off to it for sure. I imagine any guy with a health cock would have too.
What a piece of work. Wow!
Well, if Duane's other work falls through, he could make some real money
as a porn stud. If you decide not to take him, you can send him to
Georgia. He seems to like mother and daughter activity. My little girl
got quite hot reading all that.
We are anxious to hear how things went with your date with Duane.
Sissy has also been trying to read up on some chats with the therapist
you mentioned. She seems quite interested.
The kids are home now and the boys should be about finished with their
snack, and will be wanting to feed me one next, I expect. The question
is where they will want to feed it to me this time. Maybe one of each.
One of the advantages of twins.
Love,
Deni
*******************************
From: Jane Ward <daddyluvsjanie@yahoo.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Sent: Wednesday, September 10, 2008 1:17:44 PM
Subject: Fw: No What? - Especially Now.... Be strong & Give love a
chance.
Hi Kelly,
I don't recognize this guy, but he seems alright to me. One more positive
vote.
Love you,
Janie
From: Philip Reckord <philreck@yahoo.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Cc: daddyluvsjanie@yahoo.com
denimoore@yahoo.com
Sent: Tuesday, September 9, 2008 8:39:13 AM
Subject: No What? - Especially Now.... Be strong & Give love a
chance.
Hi Kelly
I know how corny that sounds, but I'm totally with Jane on this...
It's times like this that your wedding vows would be tested and if
Duane is still getting his head wrapped around this (just this small
part of the big picture), you need to let him know how you feel and
give him a chance to prove how HE feels by living up to your
expectations.
I hope you understand what I'm struggling to say.
I'm really hoping for the best for you.
Phil
*******************************
From: Cynthia Moore <sissy.4894@yahoo.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Sent: Tuesday, September 9, 2008 8:09:08 PM
Subject: Duane
Hi Kelly,
I know this is too late for your date. "I'm late, I'm late for a very
important date."
I was with my mom though when she wrote to you and gave you our best
wishes, and I think some good advice. Did Janie write too? I do hope
things go well for both of you.
For whatever it is worth, I think you should wait until you have that
ring on your finger that stands for a commitment the both of you have
made to one another before you start worrying so much about what "your"
man is doing "behind your back." Which he hasn't really until the both
of you make that commitment. It can't be behind your back unless there
is something up front first. OK, that sounds kind of nutty, but you know
what I mean.
I wrote an email to that therapist friend of yours, but I haven't heard
back from her. I guess she is too busy or would rather not talk with a
girl my age or something. It's not like I was asking her to do her sex
therapy stuff with me. Or do you think I need that? lol
Love you,
Sissy
*******************************
From: Denise Moore <denimoore@yahoo.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Sent: Tuesday, September 9, 2008 4:54:46 PM
Subject: Re: More Advice
Hi Kelly,
I hope I am not too late with this. But I haven't even taken time to
call Janie. Sissy, however is right here with me, and she is very
concerned about you and Duane. I let her read what you have written. We
haven't gone to the site to read about your therapist friend yet, but we
will. We wanted to get this out quickly first.
Sweetie, do not confront this man on that date tonight. Lead the
conversation into some kind of opening for him if you feel you must. But
do not confront him with anything.
Unless something tragic happens to prevent it, I hope you can find a time
and place to open up with him about you and your father. That will
straighten this other mess out one way or another. If it should go for
what seems like the worse, then it is not really the worst. If all of
this breaks up this relationship, then there is a better one waiting in
the wings for you. Maybe that next one would be the one. And that would
be infinitely better than going too far with the wrong one. I hope I
said that right.
Now, go and get dressed right for a special night.
We love you,
Deni and Sissy
*******************************
From: Jane Ward <daddyluvsjanie@yahoo.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Sent: Tuesday, September 9, 2008 4:43:39 PM
Subject: Re: Now what?
Alright, Kelly. One more time. SLOW DOWN!
I don't know if you will get this before your date this evening or not.
But right now I have to think this out some more.
One. Linda was likely just going along with her daughter. You know how
mother/daughter relationships can be. And as you stated, you know the
daughter.
Two. While I still think Duane is an exceptional man (especially for
you), he is, as you say, a man.
Three. Were they really trying to deceive you in any way? What exactly
is your official claim on him right now? There has been no proposal, and
no big solemn commitment that I am aware of. He is basically a free man.
Four. Do you love him? Do you still believe he just may be in love with
you?
Five. And most urgent for the moment. DO NOT confront him during your
date this evening. You might casually mention Kristi and Linda. Give
him the opening to say anything he might want to say. I haven't heard
from you that you have been with anyone else recently, besides your dad,
but if you could offer something like that to him about yourself, that
might encourage him to share with you as well. However you get into it,
DO NOT make it confrontational. If you feel you have to get into it,
use something light like, "Kristi says you guys have been together
lately. Was she any good." But in your wording and manner.
Six. Most critical in the end. Are you ready to talk straight to him
about you and your dad? If so, not in the restaurant or in his place.
Maybe get him to park some place romantic. Or just park in front of your
house and turn to him and let him know you need to talk. At least
there, unless he comes back with something to call for other action, you
can leave it with him to ponder and go into the house alone. And await
his call or knock on the door. Which may be in a few days, if he decides
to take time to think it all over.
My money is still riding on this guy, but I could be wrong. I was once.
And I married the creep (not Jerry). Let me remind you that Jerry came
back...to stay, and I had the added burden of telling him that I was
already pregnant with my father's baby. Somehow I still want to put
Duane in the same basket with Jerry.
I haven't read from you therapist's writings yet. But I will. But if
she advises anything that sounds the least bit devious, talk to Mother
Hen first. At least you know I love you , and have for a long time now.
Hopefully she has some really good things for you. She is a professional
sex therapist and a big help, I am a hopelessly incurable romantic. And
what I want for you is a hopelessly incurable romance. Together maybe we
can infect you with a cure for what is ailing you.
Keep one thing in your pretty little head no matter what happens. If
this does not work out with you and Duane, then I know there is something
far better out there waiting for you to get over this one. He may just
be another step getting to the very top.
I love you and am praying for you tonight. Now pick out the right dress
for this occasion. No! Not that slinky, slutty, sexy one. And wear a
bra and panties. Got to hold yourself together.
Love you,
Janie
*******************************
From: Philip Reckord <philreck@yahoo.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Cc: daddyluvsjanie@yahoo.com
denimoore@yahoo.com
Sent: Tuesday, September 9, 2008 8:39:13 AM
Subject: No What? - Especially Now.... Be strong & Give love a chance.
Hi Kelly,
I know how corny that sounds, but I'm totally with Jane on this... It's
times like this that your wedding vows would be tested and if Duane is
still getting his head wrapped around this (just this small part of the
big picture), you need to let him know how you feel and give him a chance
to prove how HE feels by living up to your expectations.
I hope you understand what I'm struggling to say.
I'm really hoping for the best for you.
Phil
*******************************
From: Denise Moore <denimoore@yahoo.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Sent: Monday, September 8, 2008 8:30:56 AM
Subject: The Unplan revisited
Hi Kelly.
Janie and I talked last night. Basically I agree with what she has
advised. But let me put it in a little more brief form.
Get your mind off of what Duane has not said and get it busy on what you
have to say.
I suspect that maybe a part of what you are doing with this obsession is
to keep from doing what you know you have to. Forget what he has NOT
told you. Now WHAT are you going to tell him? And WHEN?
In case you have lost it, here is the main part of what I wrote before.
Please read it all again. Not to say I told you so but some of this
points to just what is happening with you right now.
With that kind of possibility in mind, I have a tendency to go with the
straight out, honest approach. No conniving, nor beating around the
bush. Don't pick a time like just after sex, the way you speak of
manipulating your dad, and not at a point that is leading up to sex and
he is extra horny. A neutral kind of time. Then sit down with him and
look him square in the eyes and tell him that the way you are feeling
about him compels you to open up with him and tell him some things about
your life that he may not be aware of. Things that are very important to
you, and if he is in love with you as you are with him, then they would
be important to him as well. Now that you have his undivided attention
and he has been reassured of your love for him, tell him. Maybe
something like, "Duane, I love you very much and I feel that you love me
too. There is something you need to know about me before our
relationship goes any farther, as I hope that it will. You need to know
something about me that began long before we ever met. Since I was
sixteen I have had a wonderful, beautiful, special relationship with my
father. Ours is a very special father and daughter relationship. We
share beautiful sex together." Gauge his reaction and follow up from
there as you see your opening. You might reassure him that what you
have with your father cannot compare with what you share with him, but it
is very special to you.
If he cannot accept what you have shared with him, then you know that you
have at least been honest with him. If he cannot accept you as you are,
then, Kelly, that must mean there is something even better out there
waiting for you. As much of a dream as Duane seems to be, I cannot
imagine him turning away from you over this, IF you are honest and
straight forward with him. But as much of a dream as he is, he just may
not be the one. You need to be prepared for that, even though I think it
is quite unlikely. This may only be a prelude, a warm up, for the real
thing that is out there somewhere, just waiting. Waiting for a very
special young lady named Kelly.
Maybe it's the influence of the straight forward, honest and open
relationship that I have with my husband and with my eldest, and am
trying to develop with my younger children, but I like that kind of
thing. At least with that, you have no repercussions to anticipate from
any sneaking around, conniving methods that could come back to haunt you
later. This direct approach may not be comfortable for you, but think
about it. And think about the things that could go wrong with the other
pans that have been discussed. The only thing that could go wrong with
being honest is an honest rejection. Would that really be so
wrong? No one likes rejection, but if that were the outcome, could it
possibly have been the right thing for you? No! And no amount of
subterfuge could have made it right.
Sometimes the best plan is to not plan too much. Simplify it. Don't
involve too many other people. Just get it square in your mind that you
are going to do it and then do it. Do it the most natural way for you
that you can. Do it as if you love him. Let me repeat that one. Do it
as if you love him, enough to do what is best for him even more than for
yourself. That's love.
Once more, with feeling:
Get your mind off of what Duane has not said and get it busy on what you
have to say.
The only question here is, do you love him.
We all love you.
Deni
*******************************
From: Jane Ward <daddyluvsjanie@yahoo.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Sent: Sunday, September 7, 2008 11:27:42 PM
Subject: Re: Mad
Hi Kelly,
Honey, you have got to calm down about this. You are liable to say the
wrong thing at the wrong time with him, just because it is eating you up
so. Please settle down and let it ride for now. Wait at least until
something more comes up about it. Either from him or from the girls.
I just hope you didn't get into it with him today at church or after.
Please, listen to Mother Hen on this one.
As things stand right now, I think the biggest chance of you losing him,
would be from how you are reacting about all this. Please don't let this
wreck such a good thing. Your relationship has beautiful possibilities
for a wonderful future together. But not if you keep acting like this.
Have you discussed this with your mother? I would like hearing her
response.
Sweetie, here is an excerpt from your recent e-mail. This sounded to me
like you gave the green light to this and you were alright with it, and
anxious to hear how it worked out.
From you: "Before I left, and before I got yours and Deni's e-mails, I
discussed some ideas with my cousin. She was thrilled with the idea of
getting Duane with her and her mom so who knows what might happen this
weekend while I am gone. The only good thing, I guess you could say, is
I won't be there so it will just be a way of exposing him to a mother and
daughter having sex. I don't even know if they will do anything, but you
know my cousin, she can convince guys of about anything! It wouldn't
make any difference if I tried to tell her not to do anything. If
anything, that would make her all the more determined!"
Now, I want you to settle down and try to forget all about this. You
have a more important project to be working on. How you are going to
follow through on Denise's suggestion about being straight forward and
honest, and tell him what you need to tell him about yourself. NOT
speculating and worrying about something that is most likely no problem
at all, unless YOU make it into one.
Now, go back and read over what she wrote to you and get to it. NOW. If
you don't have her e-mail on that, one of us can get a copy to you.
I really think you need to follow through on that, and if it works for
the best, then there is nothing you need to worry about regarding his
little fling with Kristi and Linda.
I have explained my idea about gambling before. I only bet on a sure
thing. Well, I will stick my neck out just a little this time and put my
money on Duane. If you do something like Denise's unplan, then I expect
to see the light glistening off of a ring, all the way down here from
Pittsburgh.
Go for it, girl.
I love you,
Janie
*******************************
From: Koyu Mavi <koyumavi@yahoo.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Sent: Sunday, September 7, 2008 5:00:48 PM
Subject: Musing about Duane
What do YOU want to do Kelly?
First, when you made a step forward without the fear of losing that
person, you have always got out of the situation. Stop worrying about
losing him. If he would react, he would react in any way. If he would
accept, he would accept any way. Would you still marry him if he does not
accept? No. So why worrying? What I mean is: The way "how you say" is not
that important to me...
You might even say that your mother liked him very much and even thought
about fucking him. You can ask for his idea. Don't think too much. Make a
step forward. Whatever will be will be...
Big kisses,
KoyuMavi
*******************************
From: Jane Ward <daddyluvsjanie@yahoo.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Sent: Saturday, September 6, 2008 3:51:41 PM
Subject: Re: I concur
Hi Kelly,
Why would it be bad that Duane has not told you about his little tryst
with your cousin and her mother? Isn't he a gentleman? Gentlemen don't
kiss and tell. Or whatever it was they were doing besides kissing.
Be glad you have one of those, Sweetie. Could he have any reason to
believe that he NEEDS to tell you? Are the two of you always sharing war
stories about ALL of you individual exploits? It seems there may be one
or two things you have not shared with him as well. Hmmmm. Let me check
back a couple of pages. When you open up fully to him, then he may see
the need to share with you things like this one, or even other things we
don't know about. Are you ready?
You just said that you were not involved in any way, at least as far as
he is concerned. So, why would he be concerned with a need to discuss it
with you? I don't think you need to worry about him not talking about
this yet. When the time is right and he thinks he should, then I believe
he will.
If you just can't stand the suspense (that you instigated, by the way)
any longer. Then tell him something rather innocent like, "Kristi let it
slip that you guys had a real good time while I was away. Was she as
good as ever?" Just keep it light with no spark of jealousy. Definitely
don't let it sound accusing in any way. Just what would he need to be
accused of? Not talking enough? I just don't think I would use this
kind of thing, though.
What I'm trying to say is, don't blow this out of proportion, Sweetie.
Relax. Let it happen. If you love the guy, you have to learn to trust
him. Even when you "think" there might be something he should tell you.
Trust him.
Let me say that one more time. TRUST HIM.
When he knows you trust him, he will feel more like trusting you. It's
kind of contagious.
More on our little lady later, Hon. For now you need to cool it and just
spend some time with this treasure of a gentleman you have. .
Love you,
Janie
*******************************
From: Chris A <azdzrtdwlr@yahoo.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Sent: Thursday, September 4, 2008 11:30:46 PM
Subject: Dealing with Duane
Hello, Kelly.
You have already received a lot of feedback on this subject, much of it
well intentioned, I'm sure. I read your thoughts, as well as many of the
third party suggestions and comments, and I certainly don't envy you your
dilemma. I won't pretend to have a solution for you but I would like to
share a couple of general thoughts.
First, and most importantly, no one can give you advice on this (at least
not advice that means anything) unless they know Duane personally.
Otherwise, they--guys for the most part--color their commentary based on
their own preferences and feelings. You already know this, of course,
but it just seemed to me that so many of the responses I read were too
"personal" to be helpful. The truth of the matter is that every guy
would respond to such an unusual situation differently.
Second, much of your musings and the subsequent responses revolved around
using other female members of your family to "ease the transition," as it
were. Speaking only for myself, now, I have problem with that. The flaw
I see in all these theories or plans is that no matter how you look at
it, most guys will see a GIGANTIC difference between their
girlfriend/fiance/wife having sex with other women (be it incestuous or
not) and that same girlfriend/fiance/wife having sex with other men
(especially incestuous, most especially her father). From what you've
said, Duane is a pretty typical guy when it comes to women having sex
with other women so I suppose it isn't unreasonable to think he could get
used to the idea of you, your mom, aunt, and cousins. He might even
consider himself a lucky man, as indeed he would be. But I fear that the
typical guy would have an altogether different reaction to the father
issue. Again, this is just my opinion; I obviously don't know Duane at
all.
I hope you find the solution you're searching for. I can only imagine
how stressful such a situation would be. Whatever course you choose, I
think
you're right in that you must be there to gauge/temper the reaction. No
matter what else happens, you're right about that.
Chris
*******************************
From: ERIC BRUYERE <eric_bruyere@hotmail.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Sent: Thursday, September 4, 2008 1:43:14 AM
Subject: MUSE ABOUT DUANE
Hi Kelly.
I read your letter and your questions and I can understand your
questionings. There is some few questions you have to ask yourself before
you enter into the conversation. How open he is about love and life? I
know it's sound weird but I’m the kind of guy who believe that if things
are done to bring love and pleasures to anyone and that it's the wishes
from every parties , that it should not be a crime but you know how is
the society.
Let's said that he is open minded like i am; yes it's something I will
like to know, before I get married, that my future wife have been in a
special relationship and that her need to be happy is to continue into it
with me. To be able accept it, I will need to be introduce slowly, very
slowly and not feeling pushed.
How to test him, that's another question since I do not know his way
about life and how open he is about what life could bring him. a little
of hint could help me to advise you.
And one thing, do not sacrifice everything because you feel he is the one
because after many years your life will turn empty and filled with
regrets.
*******************************
From: Bill Jones <magictouchguyaltbox@yahoo.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Sent: Wednesday, September 3, 2008 2:09:50 PM
Subject: Re: Response to your request for comment
Kelly,
First and most important, I'm sorry to hear the advice you've received
isn't consistent, therefore useful. I have to admit that surprises me,
but...I do hope you'll let us (at least those of us that have expressed
an interest and support) how it all turns out.
On the other matter, I do understand, but just a point of irony - I'll
speak for myself, but for others I'm sure, that I feel I know Kristi,
thanks to your rich literature. You have made it clear that she's "easy"
(perhaps understated?), AND that she works in an industry where that's
not only "not uncommon", but she perhaps sought such employment IN ORDER
TO act of those "personal preferences".
So you see the irony...Here's a girl that seems more than willing; a man
(men) who are more than willing to pay (well, if need be - you have no
idea what a shot at you would be worth to me!...and I'm not alone) for
the privilege of sharing her inner beauty, if only briefly; and a "story
line" that would make the "short term engagement" memorable over time -
it's perfect! We even know what city (area) to look in! Alas...
No answers, I know...maybe I should get a one-month apartment in
Pittsburgh and just start down the yellow pages. One question that I HOPE
you can answer: Is she still working actively, and if so, does she go by
"Kristi" at work, or some other "work name?"
I won't bother you again on this, but thanks anyway...
Good Luck with Duane - really!
Bill
*******************************
From: JG <wild_but_reformed@yahoo.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Date: Tue, 2 Sep 2008 13:56:48
Subject: Musing about Duane
I hadn't read your website for a while, trying to end a relationship with
a woman I should have ended a long time ago. I read the new entry you put
up about how to tell your boyfriend about your relationship. Having your
cousin do it is something I would not do. I know if I was told this I
would want it to be done by the woman I loved, because my opinion on
marriage is, it needs to be completely honest. The letter idea is what I
liked. There you can control the words, lay out your feelings. Personally
if someone were to tell me this and it was a total shock I would not want
it verbally done because who knows what argument or emotions may flow at
once, it would be best if you did something one night, you left him in a
place by himself away from you tell him you live him, and have something
you want him to read and think about and you will talk to him in a few
hours, after he seriously thinks about it. That way you give him space
and time to think over all you have put down to paper to seriously and
fully understand all of your feeling about him and your family and what
that commitment means.
That is only my opinion if a girl was going to tell me this. I would want
her to see my final reaction and think and ponder on it alone before
letting her know how I feel.
*******************************
From: Jonathan Holland <jonholland71@yahoo.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Sent: Tuesday, September 2, 2008 5:37:51 AM
Subject: your mom
Dear Kelly
You asked if it was me and I didn't bolt after finding out about your
family fun would I have sex with your mom. I think yes. If I was single
and in Duane's shoes and know all that I know from reading your diary (or
that he will find out once you tell him). I would very much look forward
to being with your mom. I would also look forward to being with Kristi,
your aunt Linda, and cousin Tammy(yes, he's already had 2 or the 3).
Perhaps Tammy most of all. That's about a perfect age, not so young as to
be creepy and sick but with the beauty and freshness of youth combined
with womanly attributes. I really don't see him saying no. If incest
freaks him out you won't get to the point where you say "oh by the way,
my mom is really looking forward to us getting married so she can do
you". If he isn't freaked out and still wants to marry you once he knows
you have sex with your parents of course he'll join in. There's no way
he'll say "o.k. dear, go have fun fucking your dad while I sit home and
watch reruns instead of joining in with the hot m.i.l.f. who gave birth
to you in the other room". I've seen pics of you and Kristi so I'm
assuming hotness runs in the family. I'm also assuming the four of your
wouldn't be together. I think I read somewhere that you all don't do
that. I have a swinger pen-pal who has sex with her family and when they
get together with swing friends nobody goes to separate rooms for privacy
it's all together. Of course you don't swing and I don't think you're
especially a voyeur (everybody likes to look a bit, but I'm thinking that
bit is as far as you go). This one's pretty easy. He'll either bolt when
you first tell him or he'll join in, nothing else is realistic.
Take care of yourself.
your friend,
Jonathan
*******************************
From: Bill Jones <magictouchguyaltbox@yahoo.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Sent: Monday, September 1, 2008 3:06:41 PM
Subject: Response to your request for comment
Kelly,
First of all, delighted to see that you're keeping the site up! I'm sure
I'm not the only guy who was worried.
Also glad to be invited to share comments regarding Duane, and your
prospective future together. Frankly, I think it's a no-brainer. It goes
like this:
First, last and always: You MUST tell him, EVERYTHING, and JUST as soon
as possible. If he cuts and runs, it wasn't meant to be, and BOTH of you
might as well find out as soon as can be; if he finds out by some means
other than you telling him, your position is damaged, perhaps forever -
how can he trust you fully?
SO...You "spill it"...what does that mean?
A single, private, unhurried conversation. NOT right after fucking - you
both need to be fully clothed (in case one or both needs to "run off"
suddenly, in great distress).
You lay out the following, in this order:
1. I know you've been with a number of other women, and you know I've
been with other men. I love you dearly, and want to tell you a couple of
things. It's just important for me to get these secrets off my chest.
2. I know you've been with both Kristy and her Mom (does he know it was
her Mom?)
3. I know this because my family is really close (as you've seen), and we
don't keep secrets from each other, especially as regards sex.
4. They both know it, too, and actually think it's really cool.
5. You've seen me with Kristy, and know we're all really open about sex -
so is my whole family.
6. I'm really close to my extended family, and intend to stay close to
them, even after I eventually get married. We all really love each
other.
(OK, pause here - at this point, if he's starting to show signs of panic,
slow down, and brace yourself for a negative reaction. The "easy out" is
to tell him you and Kristy have sex. If THAT freaks him, there's no hope.
Just stop, say goodbye, and go have a good cry. However, my bet is that
he'll be "paying really close attention" to you, and saying little or
nothing - that's the smart play, in his place...If he's still "there", he
won't yet know where this goes, but that's OK - then you pick it up)...
7. Kristy and I have been having sex since 19XX. (Pause - still OK? Good
– continue)
8. We're not lesbians or anything, we just believe in sharing sex within
our family.
9. I've also been with her Mom. (Now he's bug-eyed, but if NOT screaming
and clutching his chest, it's still OK - keep going...tear off the whole
bandaid at once!)
10. And my Dad has been with Kristy, his niece.
11. My Mom and her sister, Aunt (I forget!) were playing with each other
sexually since they were kids. When she married Dad, he became part of
the family, and so he began to have sex with Aunt (X), too.
(NOW he might see where this is going, but as you can see, it hasn't yet
explicitly involved YOU...Basically, everybody is fucking everybody,
"except Kelly"...Keep going)
12. So basically, Duane, all the adults in my extended family love each
other, and share sex with each other. (If he's ready, then...)
13. And that includes me...
(Now the reaction...If still silent, NOW you ask what he thinks. You
haven't SAID you fuck your family, and haven't used the I Word, but it's
all out there. At this point, the "discussion" could go anywhere, and
will probably become a kind of rapid-fire Q&A between you two. At the
end of it, if he seems to be on board, you must have gotten the following
points out, in any order:
- I do and will continue to have sex with all adult members of my family.
- My future husband will be brought into the family and embraced fully.
He will be able to have sex with any family member, and they with him.
- Nobody is being oppressed or tormented here - it's all completely
consensual, and based on love and trust.
- None of this has to do with "cheating" or "extramarital affairs".
Nobody in my family does that, I never will, once married, and my husband
had better not!...Just inside the family.
- I only tell you this because I love you, and want you to understand,
and to accept me for all that I am...
Now...he WILL be stunned...that is unavoidable...He might need a little
time to let it all soak in - don't give him "too much time alone". He
will want to talk about it again, hours or a day or two later - be there
for that!
If he is incredulous or denies it, suggest that the two of you should
meet with Kristy and her Mom...to see how they both know about each
other, with him, and are obviously OK with it. Of course, you will have
arranged in advance that it will turn into an "all 3 on Duane" event.
Unless he's a corpse, that should convince him... AND win him over...
Good luck, sweetie! Do let me/us know how it goes, please!
Bill
*******************************
From: Jonathan Holland <jonholland71@yahoo.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Sent: Monday, September 1, 2008 5:23:25 AM
Subject: my (possible) response.
Dear Kelly
Oh, boy is that a tough question. What would I do if my Kelly had come to
me with something like that? That is so hard to predict. I think if I was
faced with it when we got engaged I would have freaked. If (GOD forbid) I
lost Kelly and a future fiancé hit me with something like this I would
react a ton better. Back then I was very sheltered and it just would have
been so far away from what I knew, there would be no chance I would deal
with it well. Since then I've had e-friends (including you of course) who
are not nearly as vanilla as I am. It sounds like Duane has a healthy
sexual appetite and is pretty adventurous so that's promising. I haven't
lived those kinds of adventures but I'm a lot more open-minded about
things than I used to be.
The thing is that this is so different from anything I've ever
experienced and something I don't remotely anticipate. It's like being
asked if I met an alien or suddenly had the ability to fly. I could
imagine a response but it would be from a perspective of not really
expecting it to happen. I can sit by the computer and think, "I'd be
cool. I'd take it in stride.", that sort of thing. Would that be the
reality if it happened? I have no idea. I know that's not very helpful
and I'm genuinely sorry about that but I'm being honest. The catch is I'm
probably not a good predictor of how Duane will act since we're different
people with incredibly different life experiences. I've had intercourse
with three women in my entire life. He's been having a mom and daughter
as well as his girlfriend just recently. He's probably been with three
women in a week, perhaps in a single weekend (I almost said day but us
guys need time to recharge so that's kind of pushing it). I hope that
doesn't sound bad because I'm not trying to be negative, just emphasize
that we're different in many ways.
To try and answer your question simply I'd guess I'd be surprised but I'd
get over being surprised and be o.k. If (as one would hope would be
obvious) I loved her I think I would accept it. The possibility of being
jealous over "sharing" is something to consider but it ought to be
negated by getting to be with her relatives as well so that's fair. I do
have to toss out one huge caveat. Please don't interpret this as being
judgmental because that's not remotely how it's intended. I won't have
sex with any blood relative of mine. I can imagine an in-law but that's
only remotely likely if a future fiance/wife is into this to begin with.
I read somewhere on your site that you think the vast majority of people
should not practice incest so I'll just be part of the vast majority.
Having an e-friend, a pen-pal who's into that is perfectly cool with me.
Going there myself is not. I trust that you get that and know where I'm
coming from.
I would almost think you should find a Duane-like person to ask. I say
almost because everybody is so unique. You could find people with certain
qualities, traits, demographic factors, etc. in common but there is only
one person who has lived his life. There is only one Duane who loves you
enough that (apparently) he's given some thought to marriage.
Kelly, I'm going to ask you to do something far more difficult than
people realize and that's to have faith in GOD. That sounds easy but it's
not. Let me give you one of my favorite illustrations.
There was a dare devil who did a high wire act. He had a tight-rope
strung up over Niagara falls with a platform on the American side and the
Canadian side. He got a wheelbarrow full of bricks and pushed it across,
turned around on the other platform and came back. The crowd loved it.
They were cheering and clapping and hollering. When they calmed down a
bit he pointed to a guy in the front row and asked him "do you believe I
can do that again?". The guy said "Sure I do. I saw you push that
wheelbarrow across and back again with my own two eyes. Of course I
believe you can do it again". The daredevil dumped out all the bricks and
told him "Get in".
It's easy to be part of the crown and say "sure I believe". It's
fantastically harder to get in the wheelbarrow. Pray about what to do.
Trust yourself, trust Duane, and most of all trust GOD. GOD has a path
for you. It's possible that path isn't the one you hope for and want.
It's possible that path begins with tears and heartache. But even if that
is the case it's the path that your infinitely loving (Heavenly) Father
has for you. I love my baby girl and will always do what's best for her
(even when it's not what she wants, although that breaks my heart).
Although I can't get my mind around it GOD loves us far more than I love
my baby or your dad loves you (and I know that's incredible). Trust that.
Again I wish you every possible joy and happiness. I hope your path is a
smooth one but even if it's not I believe you will walk it beautifully.
As always I look forward to hearing from you again.
your friend,
Jonathan
*******************************
From: Tim Walker <bigdude04976@yahoo.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Sent: Sunday, August 31, 2008 3:48:55 PM
Subject: Duane
I just read some of the ideas that u had about telling him about the
relationship that u have with ur family. although the last idea that u
have is good, I would suggest that u ask him in general how he feels
about incest. breaking the news to him that ur aunt and cousin fuck might
turn him on but it also might scare him away. also u might be surprised
(lol help teacher I can’t spell that word)that he might have a positive
reaction towards incest, but the only way to know is to ask him how he
feels about it. if he does not have a positive response to it then maybe
he isn’t for you. remember the person u marry is suppose to love all of
the big parts of ur life and if they don’t then it will never work out.
incest will always be a big part of ur life and it’s something that I
hope u find a balance in, because happiness in life is the only thing
that truly matters.
Tim w.
*******************************
From: speed <speedbarb@centurytel.net>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Sent: Sunday, August 31, 2008 2:24:12 PM
Subject: Re: Kelly
I see you are getting lots of advice from well meaning friends regarding
Duane. In my 68 years I have always found that being upfront and honest
in my relationships worked best. I agree with Jane and Denise, let the
shoe fall and live with the results.
I am sure that he already is very much aware of your life style. If
not, he should know before he proposes! Relationships cannot survive
without honesty, trust and extreme caring for each other.
As a caring lurker, I wish you well and believe you will make correct
decisions.
Speed
*******************************
From: Philip <xxxxxxxx@yahoo.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Sent: Sunday, August 31, 2008 1:31:42 PM
Subject: Re: MUSE ABOUT DUANE
To be with someone who I love and who loves me, it would be a easy
decision, I'd be by your side all the way.... presuming I'd had a chance
to get to know your family and didn't feel I was adding to a bad
situation. If your Dad was more like your Uncle Jim it wouldn't be so
easy to sit by and watch you get treated with such little respect.
I'm a bit of a sex nut though so even I wonder how my feelings really fit
into the rest of the world.
Hang in there
Phil
*******************************
From: Jonathan Holland <jonholland71@yahoo.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Sent: Sunday, August 31, 2008 5:09:55 AM
Subject: your possible choice
Dear Kelly,
You asked what to do if he gave you an either or choice between sex with
your dad and him. My first response would have been something like "only
you can decide, search your heart" etc. The more I think about it the
more inclined I am to say move on. The reason why is that would be him
giving you an ultimatum. Even if you accept it things could go badly.
Maybe you would try and still have sex with your dad on the sly. I
imagine at first it would only be under circumstances where there is
little or no chance of being caught. After getting away with it enough
times you might get careless and be caught. That could lead to a messy
divorce and you'd be in horrible shape if there was a custody battle
involved (I know that's moving ahead a lot). Maybe you really would move
to a conventional father-daughter relationship and be perfectly chaste.
Would resentment grow inside you? Would that poison your feelings towards
your husband? Here's one more thing to consider. Would he trust you?
Let's say that you're spending time with your family and he's not there.
Would he be suspecting you of having sex with your dad even if you don't?
Would you be inundated with accusations and suspicion? I know this isn't
painting a very pretty picture but if he makes that ultimatum to start
with things are nowhere close to what you hoped for.
I guess the easiest way to say what I believe is this. Make that promise
to him ONLY if you can (A) keep it and (B) live a happy life with keeping
it. If you can't/won't keep that promise or if doing so makes you unhappy
then walk away. Hopefully this scenario won't happen but it's
understandable to want to think about all possibilities. I hope this
advice gives you some peace. It'll be best if you never need it but like
a smoke detector or fire extinguisher it's something you want just in
case. Take care and think happy thoughts. I'm optimistic for you Kelly.
your friend,
Jonathan
*******************************
From: Philip <xoxoxoxo@yahoo.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Sent: Sunday, August 31, 2008 12:04:50 AM
Subject: re: MUSE ABOUT DUANE
Hi Kelly
I've not written for a long while but to get some basics out of the way,
I still really enjoy your site and it's hard to comprehend that you've
been running it by yourself! The email/chats obviously add to the content
but it's an incredible body of work however it's viewed... I think you
should be a writer, a journalist maybe...
Just for the record, I'd prefer if you don't publish my name/email if you
decide to post this, you've never done before so I'm not really worried
and quickly, so you know where I'm coming from... I'm your parents' age
but with much younger children - three pre-teens. I'm in a long term
relationship, been in a couple "serious" relationships since my early-
twenties, pretty open-minded but consider myself fairly down-to-earth....
Anyway, your "muse" has definitely touched me since I remember well the
hope and doubts about new love (barely mind you :o) I really hope this
will work out for you. For most people, getting to this is point is hard
enough and committing to a lifetime together poses lots of challenges but
... you've also got this...
I would like to suggest that you take careful note of some of Duane's
natural responses.
1. Does he genuinely like & respect your parents? Your gut belief is what
I'd go with... Has he had a close relationship with his own parents (not
the sex of course) Does he know yet how much you and your Mom talk about?
If you start to share with him some of your history:-
-The way your mom helped you understand your own body
-How much you told her about your dates as a teen
-Their open-mindedness about you masturbating
-Them encouraging you to bring your boyfriends home
You'll get an initial response about his feelings on the overall
situation.... If you sense that he can't handle that basic level of
intimacy between you and your parents, you may need to proceed carefully.
2. Is he a "loving" guy does he hug & kiss.... aside from sex. Do you and
your parents, for that matter? If he has started to give/get hugs &
kisses from your Mom as a natural part of greetings, you can at least see
the initial lead up to greater intimacy, (I realize you make a clear
distinction between love & sex) I'm a guy (a really horny guy at that)
but I wouldn't fuck someone I'm not comfortable with.
3. Have you had any kind of discussion on incest and, separately, on
marriage? His response to incest in porn doesn't tell you very much
(maybe not anything at all) but does he know of anyone who has had sex
with a sister or cousin, does he ever comment about some of the cases of
incest reported... Has he ever got anything at all from you on your
thoughts, enough to generate a discussion. You should get some feedback
before you go in deeper.
I wonder, if possibly, he knows about you already, maybe from Beth or
your cousin. In one of your stories, "Truth or Dare" - 2007, it seemed
that at least three other friends know about your situation, maybe he's
gotten wind of it...?
On the subject of marriage as a whole, I've gotten your thoughts pretty
clearly and I think you have a bit of a grey area which could pose a
problem like this... Most people (men & women) sort of fit into two
groups. Group 1 - Monogamous, Group 2 - Polyamorous (i.e. not monogamy)
of course, very few are honest enough to admit up front that they are in
Group 2! So... you want to allow sex outside of your marriage with a
Select group of people, but for some people this could be seen as....
Hey, Hey, Hey! It's open season, All Year Round!
Does Duane seem like the kind of guy who will understand & respect your
specific definition of Fidelity?
The communication thing is a biggy, because if you're not doing it now,
you probably won't be doing it then (after marriage) except then there
will be way more things you'll need to talk about (like money, your
ambitions & plans, lots of things relating to raising a family, etc. and
yeah, sex) and the stakes are much higher.
I'll wrap up by saying, for you I have two major concerns, one the
obvious, I hope this guy is ready to work hard to make you happy &
fulfilled (you've got to reciprocate) and most of all... If you get an
initial positive response from Duane, is he really mature enough to
commit to you and not think, "hot dog more sex for meee!" without being
able to give you the respect due to someone he will share his life with;
the respect A Wife deserves.
What does your Dad, and particularly your Mom think about what you're
facing? Listen to their advice but follow your heart and most of all be
strong. Whatever course you choose, be prepared to live with it.
I see how long this has gotten so if you've made it this far, thanks
again and all the best.
Phil
*******************************
From: "nojail4youtoo@hushmail.com" <nojail4youtoo@hushmail.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Sent: Saturday, August 30, 2008 5:51:43 AM
Subject: musings
Hey Kelly,
(It's Adam, I had to change my e-mail addy 'cause of the way hushmail
works. I’m saying that as if it will make much difference to you lol)
Here are my thoughts, for what they're worth, on your situation with
Duane. I think I may have some small inkling of your dilemma probably
very small. Someday I hope to find someone to who will want to be my wife
and when I do I'll have to tell her about the fact that I'm sexually
attracted to pre-teen girls. (that's going to be a fun conversation) I
want to share my whole life and everything I am with her in the same way
that you are now wanting to with Duane.
I just got done reading some of the responses so far. I think your worry
that he might only see incest as a negative is justified. I googled
"incest experiences" the other day and, after sorting through all the
porn, only found negative references. I don't think the straight sit-
down-and-tell-him-everything approach would be the best. Unless you did
have someone talk to him first and bring up the subject of incest and get
his reaction. If he actually seems like he could see it as a positive
situation then maybe you could try telling him straight out. But,
otherwise you might have to try and ease him into it, revealing things in
increments.
As difficult as this situation is you do have a nice tool that you can
work with. And you've already discovered it: his previous relationship
with Kristi and your aunt. Before you bring that into play though I think
there are some other things you can do. I'm guessing that you've already
told him that you were raised in a way that you were able to discuss sex
openly and honestly with your parents. If you haven't already, you should
also let him know that your parents are completely aware of everything
that goes on in your sex life. This will let him know that when it comes
to sex your openness with your parents wasn't just "educational" and that
you share a level of intimacy with them that goes beyond what most
parents have with their children. Maybe you've already told him this but,
if you haven't I think this would be good way of nudging him toward the
ultimate truth that you need to tell him.
The first thing you might want to tell him is that fact that Kristi knew
he was fucking her mom. You could do it in a playful way, like your
letting him in on a joke. Tell him that the two of them don't keep any
secrets from each other, just like you don't keep any secrets from your
parents. You might even let him know that it’s not the first time the two
of them have slept with the same guy and that Kristi even lost her
virginity to one of her mom's boyfriends. Again, if you can present the
whole thing in a light way, like your letting him in on the joke, then it
will probably be much easier for him to absorb.
After that I think revealing that your aunt and cousin have sex with each
other would be the next step like you suggested. Just how you would do
that I really don't know since I don't know him at all and have no idea
how he would react to certain situations. Maybe after you let him know
that the two of them sharing him was no secret you could feel him out
about them having a threesome. If he thinks it’s a hot fantasy he might
be up for doing it for real. You might want to hold back on the fact that
Linda started licking Kristi's pussy when she was 10 though.
From there I think the best progression would be finding out about you
and Kristi. Another threesome? It may even be better to do this before
telling him about Kristi and her mom. The fact that you two grew up
together and are so close and that he's seen the two of you fooling
around before could make it an easier transition. Now that I think about
it this really may be the best place to start. AS odd as it may be for
two cousins to be having sex, especially two hot female cousins, isn't as
big of a jump as a mother and daughter. After that you and Kristi could
let him in on the "joke" that she knew about him and her mom and some of
the other info I suggested earlier.
If he can accept you and Kristi and Kristi and her mom being together I
think the next step would be telling him that you and Kristi and your
aunt have sex together. Again, it’s hard for me to be specific about how
you would do that. If he can accept that though, I think it would be time
to stop being incremental and come out and tell him everything.
Tell him the story of your parents. What went on when they met and what
your father found out when they decided to get married. The decision that
he had to make, and the benefits he reaped from making that decision. And
you and your father. What that relationship means to you. And what Duane
means to you as well.
Of course the greatest tool that you have to work with is your parents.
They've been through this before and they can help you more than any of
the rest of us can.
The one thing I advise you against would be having him watch you fuck
your dad unless it’s something that he really wants to do. In the
interview with your dad he said that he was "totally uninvolved" when it
came to you mom and grandfather having sex and that he could never get
into watching it. Even if Duane does accept your "family life" - and I
hope he does if he's the man God has meant for you - he may never be
totally comfortable about your relationship with your dad in the same way
that your dad was with his father-in-law.
One question for you. Is Duane a Christian? You've often talked about God
being the number one priority in your life. (and as someone who was
raised in a church I wish that I felt that sense of devotion that you
have and I have never been able to feel) I ask about that because I hope
that's a priority that he shares.
Well, I truly hope that my own musings are of some help to you. I hope
that things turn out well for you. You've let so many of us into your
life and we've come to care about you even though we've never met in
person. Whatever happens I hope that you can stay close to God and find
his plan for your life.
Adam
*******************************
From: Jonathan Holland <jonholland71@yahoo.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Sent: Saturday, August 30, 2008 5:03:37 AM
Subject: Re: questions and musings.
Dear Kelly
It was just idle curiosity that led me to ask about the cum. I went to
church last week for the first time in quite a while and that naughty
notion popped into my head. It was just a frivolous thought. I'll respect
your wishes and not ask religious questions. I think you're pretty cool
about things but everybody has what they're comfortable with and what
they aren't.
I read your musings about Duane and the responses so far. I can't come at
it from the angle of an expert or anything, I'm just a friend who hopes
that you find the love and happiness that we all seek. I agree with your
thoughts that a letter is a really bad idea. It'll seem cold and cowardly
no matter how good your intentions are. Having Beth tell him is only
slightly better. Do ask her if he was the mystery guy you fucked at that
party though. If he was that's the best you could hope for and if he
wasn't then you aren't any worse off. I would also STRONGLY advise
against letting him catch you with your dad. I just imagine that if he
finds out for the first time that way it'll blow up. That might work if
he already knows and has been playing too cool but that's the only way I
predict that would end well. My suggestion is to be as straightforward as
possible. Denise Moore wrote some pretty good advice. Ease into it a bit
without too much beating around the bush. Acknowledge that it's rare and
unconventional but that it works for you. Hopefully he will respect your
honesty and that'll be good for you. Remember it's not just you telling
him but (hopefully) till death do you part afterwards. You wouldn't want
him looking back on how he found out and thinking there was chicanery. Of
course neither I or anyone else can guarantee a positive response but
think beyond just telling him and think about how you tell him will
affect your relationship from that time onward for the rest of your life.
For this reason I advise against the more elaborate scenarios you crafted
involving Kristi, your aunt or your mom.
Kelly, I wish you the best possible luck with this. If you let me know
when you plan to have this talk I'll be extra sure to say a prayer for
you. I would advise you to talk before he proposes instead of after. To
me that just seems considerate. The catch is it'll be so hard to guess
when would be best. When he looked at rings was he thinking the next few
weeks or someday. I met my Kelly in either Jan or Feb, proposed in summer
and we married two days before Christmas. Maybe soon I'll talk about that
wedding, it was beautiful. The contrast is that my sister took a few
years before she got to the altar with her guy. Even if Duane is thinking
about it who knows what time frame is in his mind.
Again, I wish you every happiness and I desperately hope this goes as
well as you hope. Regardless I feel you are a wonderful sweet intelligent
Christian woman and whether it's Duane or someone else GOD has a
wonderful sweet intelligent Christian man (or woman, who knows) who will
make you complete.
your friend,
Jonathan.
*******************************
From: Random Tourist <randomtourist@gmail.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Sent: Friday, August 29, 2008 11:48:35 PM
Subject: Re: comments on muse about Duane
I don't think it would be appropriate to tell you what to do. You have to
make that decision. Not only must is it be a decision you can live with,
it must be one you want to live with.
I read your chat with Heather and saw that you have covered many of the
questions and issues here. You seem genuinely interested in Duane
otherwise you would probably not put yourself through such a "soul
searching". It would be very simple (not easy) to just tell him and let
the chips fall. You could weed out someone who isn't interested in your
lifestyle so potentially not compatible.
I do have another comment after thinking more about it today. Don't take
this the wrong way, and maybe you could discuss it with Heather or
someone.
Have you asked your Father what he thinks?
You seem to really be concerned about being able to continue "servicing"
him. I call it that based on my conclusion from what you have written.
But why? Why do you feel it is so important to continue fucking him when
he obviously can get all he wants for others. He is capable of a
relationship that isn't based on sex isn't he? I assume he has co-workers
and friends he doesn't have sex with.
Go to him and say "I love you, but our relationship has to change. I have
found a man I love and may marry. I don't feel comfortable telling him
about this and I don't want to continue behind his back. Maybe in the
future we can resume, depending upon my situation. I hope you
understand."
What do you think he would say?
If he says I understand and will be willing to comply, that is what I
would expect any loving father to do. They would want happiness for their
daughter even if it meant some sacrifice for themselves. Plus I don't see
it as much sacrifice since there is so much other pussy he is getting
around there.
If he argues or doesn't agree, I propose that is being selfish and
greedy. He is more interested in his own needs (some pussy) than your
happiness. I don't believe you should let someone like that stand in the
way of your happiness.
Of course, he may argue that changing your lifestyle for someone isn'ta
good idea. And it usually isn't a good idea to start a relationship with
someone you plan on changing.
But we are talking a unique situation here.
As I said previously, we mature, we change. That's what life and growing
up is. As time goes on, our needs/desires change. And we change with
them. It is natural.
http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.jsp?articleId=281474976856549
I will continue to ponder on your situation. If you discuss this with
Heather I would be interested in her take on my comments.
*******************************
From: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
To: Random Tourist <randomtourist@gmail.com>
Sent: Saturday, August 30, 2008 7:13:46 AM
Subject: My Commitment to My Father
It's not like I am obligated to do what you tell me, I'd just like to
hear your thoughts and suggestions as you never know what it might
conjure up in my head as I read it.
As for my dad, I guess it's hard for me to express how deeply I feel
about submitting myself to my father. Since the first time I gave myself
to him seven years ago, I have NEVER refused him ir denied him EVER,
regardless of my own needs or feelings. Of course, he is so loving that
he never asks me to do anything beyond what he knows I am willing or
would desire to do (like anal sex) which is why I am able to trust him so
completely. For me to go to him and even discuss this is inconceivable
to me. Maybe someday he will not need me but until HE decides that the
time has come to where he no longer needs me to satisfy the lust and
desire that lurks within him, as it does with any man, then I will NEVER
deny him.
I can understand why you would say to do this but you have to understand
how deeply I feel about it and what a part of me it has become. If you
could only see his face when he cums in me, to see the satisfaction and
enjoyment I can give my father, then maybe you might be able to even
begin to understand.
Love to hear more from you,
Kelly
*******************************
From: Jane Ward <daddyluvsjanie@yahoo.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Cc: Denise Moore <denimoore@yahoo.com>
Sent: Friday, August 29, 2008 2:07:37 PM
Subject: I concur
Hi Kelly,
Wouldn't you know my own best friend would one up me? I was actually
thinking along that same line while feeding Jenny, but hadn't quite
gotten it clear enough to put it together on paper yet. I couldn't have
done it any better.
The only thing I know to add is a question. Do you love him that much?
Do you love him enough to do what is best for him, even though it could
possibly temporarily bring hurt to your own heart? I want to stress the
temporary part. You would get over it, and go on to find your real true
love. Best to find out now. Personally, I think you will like the
answer. But then you know what a romantic I am.
You do have one other hurdle to clear that may be an even bigger bomb
shell to drop on this dreamboat. What does he know of your website? Do
you know if he has been exposed to it at all? Once again, not knowing
just what he knows could cause trouble if you are not totally honest with
him. Someone could very well have innocently mentioned it to him even
before the two of you became so involved with one another.
My vote is with straightforward honesty.
Denise is right, I do want the very best for you. I would so love to see
you live the dream, much like I am doing. And you helped me so much with
that.
I love you, Sweetheart.
Janie
*******************************
From: Denise Moore <denimoore@yahoo.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Cc: daddyluvsjanie@yahoo.com
Sent: Friday, August 29, 2008 10:48:23 AM
Subject: The Unplan
Hi Kelly,
Kids off to school one more time and I have a little time to myself. Big
weekend ahead and a lot to do, but I want to do this first.
Thank you again for "sticking your nose in" for my daughter. Although
she didn't ask straight out, I think she was seeking some input from you.
Now it is my turn to stick my nose in, it seems. But at least you did
ask. So here goes.
I would be cautious about using one of those systems that hit him with a
little bit and then leave him waiting for the other shoe to drop, as they
say. Just how would you arrange for him to witness Linda and Kristi
together? Would they cooperate with something like that? I have no way
of knowing him as you do, so it is difficult to suggest a plan. However
if I have it right, there is one common friend who knows him pretty well.
Beth. Might you consider getting her to feel him out on the incest thing
for you? She might ask him right out if he has ever been involved in
anything like that. Then follow with a question as to his feelings on
the subject. You and she would have to work out the actual wording.
Something she could be comfortable with.
Another thing about Beth. Janie has discussed with me the idea that
Duane might be your mystery birthday "guest" that she arranged. Her idea
sounds plausible to me and the way she figures the timing of everything,
it does seem to fit. Have you considered that if he is the one, then
maybe he already knows about your Dad, since you are sure he was the
other one? If so, he may be just waiting for you to open up with him
about that? If so, it is time to be honest, not sneaky. Remember this.
You don't really know what he already knows about you. That could throw
a hammer in the works of the best laid out plan.
With that kind of possibility in mind, I have a tendency to go with the
straight out, honest approach. No conniving, nor beating around the
bush. Don't pick a time like just after sex, the way speak of
manipulating your dad, and not at a point that is leading up to sex and
he is extra horny. A neutral kind of time. Then sit down with him and
look him square in the eyes and tell him that the way you are feeling
about him compels you to open up with him and tell him some things about
your life that he may not be aware of. Things that are very important to
you, and if he is in love with you as you are with him, then they would
be important to him as well. Now that you have his undivided attention
and he has been reassured of your love for him, tell him. Maybe omething
like, "Duane, I love you very much and I feel that you love me too.
There is something you need to know about me before our relationship goes
any farther, as I hope that it will. You need to know something about me
that began long before we ever met. Since I was sixteen I have had a
wonderful, beautiful, special relationship with my father. Ours is a
very special father and daughter relationship. We share beautiful sex
together." Gauge his reaction and follow up from there as you see your
opening. You might reassure him that what you have with your father
cannot compare with what you share with him, but it is very special to
you.
If he cannot accept what you have shared with him, then you know that you
have at least been honest with him. If he cannot accept you as you are,
then, Kelly, that must mean there is something even better out there
waiting for you. As much of a dream as Duane seems to be, I cannot
imagine him turning away from you over this, IF you are honest and
straight forward with him. But as much of a dream as he is, he just may
not be the one. You need to be prepared for that, even though I think it
is quite unlikely. This may only be a prelude, a warm up, for the real
thing that is out there somewhere, just waiting. Waiting for a very
special young lady named Kelly.
Maybe it's the influence of the straight forward, honest and open
relationship that I have with my husband and with my eldest, and am
trying to develop with my younger children, but I like that kind of
thing. At least with that, you have no repercussions to anticipate from
any sneaking around, conniving methods that could come back to haunt you
later. This direct approach may not be comfortable for you, but think
about it. And think about the things that could go wrong with the other
plans that have been discussed. The only thing that could go wrong with
being honest is an honest rejection. Would that really be so wrong? No
one likes rejection, but if that were the outcome, could it possibly have
been the right thing for you? No! And no amount of subterfuge could
have made it right.
Sometimes the best plan is to not plan too much. Simplify it. Don't
involve too many other people. Just get it square in your mind that you
are going to do it and then do it. Do it the most natural way for you
that you can. Do it as if you love him. Let me repeat that one. Do it
as if you love him, enough to do what is best for him even more than for
yourself. That's love.
Ask Janie about this idea. Of course, she and I have been such close
friends for so long, through so much, that we tend to think a little
alike at times, but I think she will agree with me on this one. And I
know that she loves you very much and would want the very best for you.
She is like that, and I know you hold a very special place in her heart.
You know that I also want the very best for you. And I think this
approach holds the best chance of meeting that goal.
I will close before I think about this too much more and maybe ruin it.
Love you, girl.
Deni
*******************************
From: reed daniel <reeddox@yahoo.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Sent: Thursday, August 28, 2008 10:02:52 PM
Subject: Telling Duane
Dear Kelly,
As a father, as a fan of yours and as one who enjoys a healthy sex life I
am very happy for you. He sounds like a guy who can keep up with you. I
hope everything works out well for you because I could tell by your
writings you haven't been happy.. Now I think you are.
My best advice to you about telling him about your relationship with your
father is to first have a heart to heart with your mom. My fear is that
if the news comes from you, he'll be upset and mad at you. If the news
comes from your mom, whether it's during one of your "trysts' with your
father or not, will, at least, carry the weight of acceptance and
permission by the patriarch and matriarch of the family. That combined
with his history with your cousin and aunt should be enough, I think, to
at least be a subject for discussion by like minded adults.
If he's any man at all he'll realize the lucky bastard he is and go along
happily with the family plan. I mean really... Your Mom, your Aunt, your
cousin AND you. If he acts up send him to me so I can slap him around
awhile.
I really am happy for you, I've been a fan of this site for quite a while
and I hope to god you're really getting away from other peoples sex lives
and focusing again on yours and in writing about that.
All the best to you and your parents who raised a lovely girl.
Dan Reed
*******************************
From: Random Tourist <randomtourist@gmail.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Sent: Thursday, August 28, 2008 1:28:47 PM
Subject: comments on muse about Duane
First some disclaimers.
I am not a health care professional or any type of counselor. Take
anything I say here as data points to be used in your search for your
path, but you are responsible for the decisions. Some are questions you
may want to ask yourself, others just comments. I don't really know you,
just have read some of your stuff, so I only have the picture you paint.
I have read some of your stories and diary entries and enjoyed them.
Don't take this the wrong way, but there are a lot of "false identities"
on the net. It is possible you are not who you claim to be and this is
all a wonderful figment of your imagination. But if so it is quite good
and I am willing to go along.
I am not putting anything in here to try and convince you or change your
mind. I am not looking for an argument, just trying to provide food for
thought. It's value is only what you make of it. These are in no
particular order.
Now my comments on your post "Muse about Duane".
I have not read all your entries, so if I ask a question that has been
answered please overlook it. Plus your analysis of the situation may have
touched on these while formulating your "plan".
In my experience any plans that depend upon how people react to emotional
situations better be flexible. Better yet forget planning. You can sort
of predict how people will react when they are being objective and
thinking clearly. But when emotional responses are involved, people are
basically irrational and illogical. They don't always do what you expect.
Since Duane does understand you have a robust sexual past and appetite,
he might fully know what he is getting into. He may be OK with anything
and everything and you guys will have a wonderful life. I wish you the
best. But your post indicates you are smart and objective enough to
realize there might be some issues.
Incest is a topic filled with danger. While you claim to have no
emotional or psychological problems as a result of your relationships, we
only have your word. And they may not have surfaced, just waiting for the
right trigger. Some would say the situation you are discussing is a
problem. You potentially have to choose between your father and someone
you want to be your husband. That seems like a pretty big emotional
problem to me.
Note that "incestuous relationship" doesn't have much of a place in our
social vocabulary. All we hear about are "victims of incest". Don't be
surprised if Duane's response to knowledge of your incest is a concern
that you were abused or controlled. Society paints someone who
voluntarily has these relationships as somehow mentally damaged and in
need of help.
Even if Duane is ok with you and your father, what will he think if you
and he have a daughter? Would he be ok with his daughter fucking her
grandfather?
Don't forget, not only must Duane be ok with things today, but he has to
be ok in the future. As a buddy of mine says the story of his life is "It
seemed like a good idea at the time".
Does Duane know you still have sex with other people? (according to the
diary entries) Is he Ok with sharing you with another man?
Have you had threesomes with him and another man? If so how was he the
next day/week? Did you sense anything?
To Duane your Father is another man.
The fact that Duane did your cousin and her mother doesn't really enter
into this. He did something a lot of men would. But he was single. Most
men expect fantasy life to end at some point. Pointing out he can still
have sex with them seems like a bribe. "Hey, if your ok with me fucking
my father and uncles you get to fuck Kristi and her Mom? Sound's like a
good deal to me." While that may sound glib, most men quickly discard the
flowery language and boil things down to the basic question. And in
theory it sounds good when looking at it objectively. This could easily
be one of those things that if discussed as someone else's situation he
would say "that sounds great, you should go for it." But when asked if he
wanted the same would say no thanks, I don't think its for me.
You have done what humans are very good at. Rationalizing your decisions
and situation. You want a particular outcome, so you define the situation
in terms that allow your conclusion.
Society does not define marriage as a joining of the family where sex is
concerned. I think the Bible (and you claim to be religious) pretty much
says that when you are married you are to only have sex with your
husband. Of course you have defined "sex" to leave some loopholes.
Let's say Duane is ok with your position. By your definition, not only
having sex with your father is ok, but sex with Duane's
father/brother/uncle would be ok also. If he requested that you not have
sex with them, would you agree? If so, is the basic principle that if
your husband requests you not have sex with some man you don't, why
wouldn't that apply to all men? Or would it always be a negotiation,
depends upon the man?
Because of your definition of "adultery" you get to keep having
interesting sex with men besides your husband. I assume that if you had
another guy you were really enjoying sex with now, you would give him up
because that doesn't fit the definition.
Relationships change. If you told you family that if you married Duane
you would be giving up sex with them, would they abandon you or look down
on you. Sometimes you make sacrifices in some areas for greater rewards
in others. Giving up sex with random guys seems to be a small price to
pay for a wonderful marriage and your own family. Is giving up sex with
your father/uncle too great a price?
Most men realize that Fathers/Daughters have a special relationship (not
usually like yours). But in our society and history it is assumed that
when the girl marries, her husband becomes more important than the
father. She never stops loving her father (emotionally) but her
allegiance is supposed to be with the husband (baring abuse and other
mitigating factors).
As I reread your post and think more I might send more comments if you
want them. I don't expect a response but if you want to explore any of
these points further just let me know.
A Random Tourist on the Web.
*******************************
From: George Harris <gharrisman@yahoo.com>
To: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
Sent: Wednesday, August 27, 2008 10:24:36 PM
Subject: daddy
just read your comments on Duane...that's a tough one. If a guy is
looking at rings 5 months into a relationship, that means he thinks he
knows all about you...which he doesn't. From reading your diary, incest
is a huge part of your life, and also a part that you are not willing to
give up. So for him to make the decision of his life, don't you think he
deserves to know the truth? On paper, your plan sounds ideal. In
reality, who knows how he'll react. He certainly doesn’t seem to be the
most "by the book" guy, but knowing your g/f / wife is fucking her dad is
quite something to take. If anything, it will be a lot for you to deal
with. You can't be shocked if he needs some time to deal and doesn’t
accept right on the spot.
Me, I'd leave my wife and marry you in a second, but he may not be the
same. It's different reading and fantasizing about you then actually
dealing with that type of decision.
Let's chat sometime,
George