Subject: My Pet Peeves
Story Codes: nosex
Updated: March 14, 2013
Author: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
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!!!WARNING!!!!
This file contains sexually explicit material which may include graphic
depictions of underage, nonconsensual and unprotected sex as well as incest,
adultery, sodomy and bestiality. It is distributed on a website clearly
identified as "For Adults Only". Possession by a minor is strictly
forbidden. If you are not legally empowered to be in possession of such
material, do not read it and delete it immediately.
This work is copyrighted 2013 to the author. It may be posted to non-
commercial "free" sites, or in the "free" area of commercial sites so long as
no changes are made to the content and the Author information is retained.
Any other use of this work is by written permission of the Author only.
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Summary:
OK, so this is a rant. If you don't want to hear me bitch then this one's NOT
for you! Do you agree with me? Do you have any in addition to these?
Table of Contents
=================
Chapter 1 - "Erotic" Stories
Chapter 2 - On-Line Profiles
Chapter 3 - Chatting
Chapter 1 - "Erotic" Stories
============================
There are tons of so-called erotic stories being posted every day yet so few
of them are worth reading and even fewer turn me on. When I read most
stories, e-mails, blogs, etc., usually I just want to scream! With most
stories, I read the first line and close the file in disgust. Here are some
of the things that REALLY turn me off:
1. Horrible spelling and grammar
--------------------------------
I'm not talking about chatting where the intent is to converse quickly so
abbreviations and misspellings are acceptable. What I mean is if somebody’s
going to take the time and effort to write up a story and post it then why
not show a little class?
I would never fault someone for making a few mistakes (that would be quite
hypocritical of me) but some people are just downright atrocious. Is there
anyone who doesn't have a spellchecker these days? Even the on-line e-mail
systems like Yahoo! have one built in. Granted, they don't catch everything
but at least make the effort. And for those who don't understand the concept
of paragraphs... enough said. If you’re going to write a story, take a
little pride!
2. Posting only DOC, RTF and PDF formats
----------------------------------------
In a world overrun by viruses, that last thing I want are Microsoft Word
documents which are known carriers. PDF files are simply bloated and
pretentious. If you think that using PDF will somehow keep someone from
copying your work then you deserve to have it ripped off. Two words - Adobe
Acrobat. My only exception would be if someone was putting together a
published novel with photos, pictures and that sort of thing. Text files may
seem a bit old-fashioned, but they're safe and efficient.
3. No Introduction
------------------
When the first sentence starts right out with a detailed description of a sex
act, I rarely read the second one. Tell me a story, not a tweet.
4. Mechanical Descriptions of Sex
---------------------------------
Is there anyone reading this stuff who doesn’t know HOW sex is performed?
What makes a story erotic to me and thus turn me on is when I get the WHY
behind the sex. I want to know the reactions of the people involved. Tell
me about their thoughts and emotions. What led up to the event? What was
their motivation? How do the people involved FEEL besides just, “it felt
good”? Don't just say “his dick entered her”, tell me how it FELT and not
just between his legs but in his head (the big one).
5. "Young" children with the vocabulary of an adult
---------------------------------------------------
Why do people try to pretend to be an eight year-old and then use the syntax
and vocabulary of a forty year-old? The very idea that a child would be
writing such a story in the first place is ridiculous so why not use a third-
person format? Even then they can get too far “out there” to be enjoyable.
I think it's pitiful when an adult man tries to pretend to be a fourteen
year-old girl. Give me a break. Who do you think you're fooling? I can’t
write that was and I use to be one!
5. Twins
--------
Does every set of twins in the world have sex with each other? There is a
reason why the Milton Twins are Internet sensations - they’re the exceptions.
I don't even open stories with “twins” in the title.
6. Dead Relatives
-----------------
Why is it that people think that the death of a parent or someone close
automatically leads to incest? The concept that a child will immediately
turn to the remaining parent or relative for lost love that includes incest
for the first time is simply ludicrous. This demonstrates to me that the
writer is just banging out a jerk story based on his own fantasies and
delusions without a clue about how real incest works.
7. Divorced Parents
-------------------
Like the “dead relative” scenario, why are so many stories about the start of
incest based on the premise of a recently divorced parent? Psychologically,
divorce is equivalent to death in that one parent is typically "lost".
However, such a loss tends to strain the remaining relationships more so than
resulting in sex. Even if you ignore the realities, the plot line is stupid.
8. Underage Lolitas
-------------------
I'm not talking about teenagers, I mean preteens and in some cases stories
involving kids as young as five or six years old (or even younger). Give me
a break! About the last thing a young child thinks about is sex.
C'mon, we were all kids once - have you completely forgotten what it was
like? Sure there may be a little curiosity before puberty but that’s a LONG
ways from feelings of lust and doing anything with the intent being sexual.
Even when two kids DO touch each other (who never played “doctor” at least
once?), that's not “sex” but rather just a natural part of growing up.
Based on the number of stories involving very young kids that are posted,
this must make for a good fantasy for a lot of guys but so far as I’m
concerned it's about as realistic as the mind control or space cadet stories.
It's just too over the top to turn me on.
9. Sick Brother or Sister
-------------------------
What do I really need to say about this one? I don't know about you but when
I'm sick or hurt, sex is about the LAST thing on my mind!
10. Fondling a Sleeping Parent or Child
---------------------------------------
Just because the mom is asleep doesn't mean that that if junior fondles her
that she’s going to suddenly have an urge to have sex with him. It's far
more likely that mom will spank his ass! Parents who fondle their young
children are usually child abusers and perverts.
11. Women Who Enjoy Being Raped
-------------------------------
To be honest, I find some “nonconsensual” stories to be a bit of a turn-on
from a strictly fantasy perspective (ok, so we all have our perversions) but
not anything I would EVER want to happen in reality. Kept in context there’s
nothing wrong with the subject matter for fantasy purposes.
What concerns me about these stories is that they could lead someone to
actually believe the myth that "no" means "yes". While this is the basis for
many porn movies and stories, it's NOT reflective of real life.
Attention men! When a girl says, "NO", that means NO. I have NEVER heard of
a real-life rape victim who said they felt anything other than disgust and
humiliation. Rape scars a woman for life. It's not something that is EVER
ok, no matter how much "she asks for it".
12. Father Who Enjoy Watching Their Daughters Being Raped
---------------------------------------------------------
This is similar to the rape scenario I just described. So long as it remains
in the fantasy realm then I’m OK with it.
In reality I just can't believe that any decent father could possible find
enjoyment from watching someone hurt his daughter. Again, while I find
nothing wrong with the FANTASY, I worry that someone might think such stories
reflect reality and might take action based on this misguided idea.
13. Interracial Sex
-------------------
I knew when I titled this one that people would jump to conclusions so let me
say this right off - I am NOT against interracial sex. It’s just that saying
“interracial” is meaningless at best and racist at worst. Who cares what
color your partner is? He can be green or purple for all I care so long as
he has a functioning dick. All this crap about enhanced penis size for black
men and sexual aggressiveness for black women is just a bunch of crap if you
ask me.
Please read “My Thoughts About Inter-RAXCIAL Sex” if you want to know more
details about how I feel about this subject.
Chapter 2 - On-Line Profiles
============================
When I look at FaceBook profiles I’m amazed at how many obvious fakes there
are but even more amazed at how many people seem to believe them. Here are
some of the things that really turn me off:
1. "No Guys" Profiles
---------------------
This is code for "I'm a man and I don't want to talk to men about sex."
2. "Women" With Profiles That Imply Incest
------------------------------------------
This is code for "I'm a man who wants to share porn pics and dirty stories
about young girls with their mothers."
3. Profiles With Pics of Girls Stolen From the Internet
-------------------------------------------------------
Don't these idiots realize that other people can also see these girls on-line
in other places? Such profiles demonstrate not only that the person is a
fake but that they’re incredibly stupid as well.
4. No "Normal" Pics
-------------------
99.9% of people that want to trade pics with me only have porn pics that they
stole from the Internet and expect me to believe it's them. If all “she” has
are suggestive and/or nudes photos, I know immediately “she” is a “he”. If
he only has a couple of "normal" ones, again they’ve been stolen. Every real
girl I know these days has a ton of her with her friends and such in everyday
situations. IF they have any suggestive or nudes ones, they’re usually few
in number and not readily handed out, especially to strangers and even then,
they’re NEVER the first ones sent.
5. Too Many "Friends"
---------------------
Some people have hundreds of "friends", most of whom are fakes. What's the
point? I just assume that it's a guy who likes to link up with other people
who trade porn pics - not the kind of person I want to have as a "friend".
Chapter 3 - Chatting
====================
There are two reasons I chat. First, I chat with friends although usually we
phone or text each other. Second, I chat with strangers on-line for fun.
Needless to say, there’s a huge difference between the two in how I chat. Of
course it goes without saying that I use completely different accounts and
the two never mix.
When I chat with strangers, there’s a LOT I don't say or do compared to when
I’m chatting with friends who know me. By the same token, I don't discuss
many of the things with my friends that I do with strangers. It's like two
different worlds, each with their own set of rules.
One more thing about chatting and meeting people. I don't cam or phone
because I have no intention of ever meeting an on-line stranger. That said,
if I WAS going to meet someone, then camming and a phone call would be
mandatory. As it is now, I have no verification that anyone I’m chatting
with is really who they say they are, just as they don't know about me
either. That's OK with me since my intention is NOT to establish a personal
relationship. Anyone who can't deal with the ambiguity shouldn't chat with
me. I can understand WHY people want to cam and phone me and I’ve endured
many complaints and nasty accusations because I won't. Words can't hurt me
but camming and phone calls can.
The following drive me nuts when I chat...
1. "Hi!"
--------
This opening gets old really FAST. Usually I just ignore it and wait to see
if whoever it is sends another message that's more interesting.
2. "How are you?"
-----------------
Come on, what do you EXPECT me to say? Odds are I’ll tell you I'm OK.
3. "asl"
--------
Sort of old school these days... Maybe this is a good intro for chat rooms
and such where you are trying to hook up with a total stranger, but that's
not the type of people I'm looking for. Anyone that I would want to chat
with already knows this information so by asking it, the person is telling me
they don't have a clue who I am and are just shooting in the dark to see who
will answer. I've also found it to be the standard opening line used by
“bots” - which I HATE!
4. "What are you doing?"
------------------------
Well duh, I'm chatting. What do you expect me to say?
5. "Do you have a cam?"
-----------------------
I NEVER cam with strangers - period. Anyone who pushes this is simply added
to my "Ignore" list. No matter what you might think, we will NEVER meet so
don't try putting me on a guilt trip to "prove" who I am. If you don't
believe I am who I say I am, too bad - go chat with someone else. It's all
just for fun anyway so why get all up-tight?
6. "Can I call you?"
--------------------
I NEVER call strangers for the same reasons as for what I described about
camming just before this.
7. "Can I meet you?"
--------------------
I NEVER meet people in person that I "meet" on-line. If I lead you in to
think you have a chance, it’s your fault for pushing the issue to where I go
along just to get you to stop asking. Trust me, we will NEVER meet.
8. "I'm (any age <18)"
----------------------
I’m NOT a child molester or pedophile. I don't want to chat with kids. I’m
not looking to hook up with kids. I don't want photos of kids. The first
thing I ask people when they start a chat with me is their age. I can't do
anything if someone lies to me but at least I’m doing as best I can NOT to
chat with kids. If you say you’re 13, then I’ll also take you for your word,
immediately end the conversation and add you to my “ignore” list so don't
even joke about it.
9. "What are you wearing?"
-------------------------
If it's after 9PM, odds are it's a t-shirt or maybe a sweatshirt in winter.
Sometimes I like to wear one of my husband’s dress shirts. During the day,
who knows what I may be wearing and really, who cares? I NEVER chat nude
because I never run around the apartment nude in the first place although I’m
sure that’s the answer most guys are hoping for. Sometimes I’ll tell them
I’m naked just to see how they respond but then I feel they’re asking for it
by asking me in the first place.
10. "Send me a pic"
-------------------
Send me yours first (NO nudes please) and THEN we'll see about mine. What's
the big deal about seeing pics of me anyway? I wouldn't say I'm ugly but
still, it's not like I'm some hot Playboy model or Hollywood star. In any
case the only pics you'll get of me are ones I would show my pastor.
11. "BUZZ"
----------
OMG, this has to be the most annoying thing EVER. Who ever came up with this
stupid feature in the first place? DO NOT BUZZ ME! If you do then I’ll
immediately add your name to my Ignore List without responding.
12. Hangups
------------
VERY rarely do I initiate a chat. This is mostly to protect my privacy and
prevent anyone from accusing me of initiating a discussion with an underage
person, even if I think they are at least 18. Thus is someone is chatting
with me, it's because THEY asked. So when someone greets me and then I
answer and get no response, it really irritates me and I typically add such
people to my Ignore List.
****************
OK, so these are my pet peeves, at least the ones I can think of right now.
I'm sure everyone else has a list of their own. Care to share yours with me?
THE END