Subject: My Life Before Incest (mf)
Author: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
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!!!WARNING!!!!
This file is a work of fiction containing sexually explicit material which may
include depictions of underage, nonconsensual and unprotected sex as well as
incest and adultery. It is not intended to implicate any person or action by
them or me, nor advocate such practices. If you can't separate fantasy from
reality, get professional help - FAST!
The material is distributed as "For Adults Only" and possession by a minor is
strictly forbidden. If you are not legally empowered to be in possession of
this material, do not read it and delete it immediately.
This work is copyrighted ©2011 to the author. It may be posted with the
permission of the editor to non-commercial "free" sites, or in the "free" area
of commercial sites so long as no changes are made to the content AND the
author/editor information is retained.
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Summary:
Although I lost my virginity when I was fourteen, I did not start having sex
with my parents until I was sixteen and I was nineteen before I went beyond
mutual masturbation with my seventeen year-old cousin. Since I was involved
with incest less than half of my teenage years, a lot of people have asked me
what went on in my home before then. I am not sure what the person is expecting
to hear when I get asked that although I get the impression they anticipate the
answer to be erotic or even perverted. The truth may not be quite what they
hoped for although certainly different than what most girls have experienced.
Let me start by saying that sex has never been hidden or taboo in our house but
at the same time, it was not something to be dwelled on either. My parents are
really pretty ordinary upper middle class folks. Dad's a corporate lawyer and
mom's a nurse and I would say they both pretty much fit the associated
stereotypes. They're not swingers or exhibitionists nor do they believe in
child abuse, pedophilia or anything really kinky - no whips or leather suits in
the closet. For some reason people assume that since my parents have an
incestual sexual relationship with their daughter that they are some sort of
sexual predators or perverts. Absolutely nothing could be further from the
truth. In fact, if anything they have taught me more about respect and safety
when it comes to sex than I would bet the vast majority of "normal" parents
teach their children. When I say respect I mean not only respect for the people
you are involved with but respect for yourself.
I can remember seeing my parents nude as far back as I can remember. That
doesn't mean they are nudists nor have they ever gone out of their way to
display or "flash" their bodies to me. In public they are actually quite modest
although my mom does like to wear a bikini that is probably a bit more risqué
than most women her age would wear. Like anyone else, the clothes they wear
depend on the conditions and their mood. I can't remember any time that they
ran around in the house totally naked except when there was a purpose behind it.
For instance, when my dad takes a shower, he doesn't bother wrapping a towel
around himself when he returns to their bedroom just to hide himself from me.
We have never worried about wearing anything in our hot tub except when people
are visiting. Frankly, I don't see any big deal in that - why bother? Overall,
if there is any "nudity" in my house it is only because we didn't go out of our
way to hide it, not because we have done anything to deliberately create it.
Looking back I believe it was a healthy way to raise a child since it took the
mystery out of the human body and taught me to accept it without making it into
something erotic every time I saw a nude body.
Given my parent's attitude towards nudity, it should come as no surprise that I
was not embarrassed if they saw my body even as I a matured. I don't bother
shutting the door to my bedroom because it simply didn't matter to me if my mom
or dad see me dressing, sleeping or even playing with myself. Actually, to be
honest I find total nudity to be a bit uncomfortable physically and bit
disconcerting from a hygiene perspective. Normally I prefer to wear something
to protect me and keep me warm if nothing else not to mention keep the furniture
clean. My favorite around-the-house wear is a t-shirt or one of my dad's dress
shirts.
Growing up I wore pajamas and cute little nighties like most little girls do.
When I turned twelve I wanted to be "grown up" like my mom so I started sleeping
nude (as both my parents always have) and have slept that way ever since. I
don't sleep nude for any sexual or erotic reasons, it just feels better as I
enjoy the touch of my bedding against my bare skin at night. When I sleep at
someone else's house or had a friend over I wear a night gown or sleep shirt and
it always feels so restrictive and uncomfortable. All-in-all, I hope you get the
idea that nudity in and of itself was not an issue one way or the other during
my childhood. So while people I chat with often tell me they think
it is erotic if I discuss being naked with my parents, for me it is nothing
unusual and actually quite normal.
Like nudity, my parents have never hidden their love for each other from me.
When we are in the hot tub or even in the family room watching TV it is not
unusual for my parents to hug, kiss and even fondle each other when I am around.
To be honest, I have always liked it when they did so because it makes me feel
pleased and secure knowing that my parents are deeply in love and still enjoyed
one another. The only restriction while I was growing up was that they never
had sex in front of me. In fact, I never saw them making love until I was
sixteen and even then it was only when they didn't know I was home. Other than
that, human sexuality was considered a part of normal everyday life. It didn't
shock me to see my dad sporting a raging erection, especially if he was watching
something on TV that turned him on (like seeing Amanda Tapping on StarGate SG!)
or when mom was playing around with him. It wasn't that he was going out of his
way to flaunt himself to me, but rather he just wasn't worried if I saw him
since it wasn’t intended as anything sexual towards me.
Although I said that as I grew up I often saw my dad with an erection, I want
to emphasize again that he never flaunted himself did anything deliberately in
front of me just for the sake of me seeing him in a sexual way. I will never
forget the first time I saw my dad masturbating when I was barely eight.
Needless to say I was quite curious at first and watched him to see what would
happen. When his cum erupting from his cock it was a total shock to me! At
first I thought he was going to the bathroom but then I could see it was
something different. My mom caught me watching and afterwards she explained
masturbation to me along with the rest of the birds and bees.
Later that night in the hot tub she had me hold my dad's cock so I could feel it
for myself and understand what happened when a man became erect. The only thing
I didn't realize at the time was the real reason my dad was growing so hard
while I held him in my hand! Looking back I realize how easy it would have been
for them to have taken advantage of the situation. I am sure that if he had
asked me to suck his dick that I would have even if I really didn't understand
what I was doing. Lie most little girls, I would have done almost anything to
please my daddy at that age. Today I admire my dad so much for having such
respect for me back then to hold back what had to be an incredible desire to cum
in his young daughter's mouth. He waited for me to grow up and make my own
decisions which I think was wonderful of him to do.
My mom always emphasized to me that masturbation was a normal and healthy
function practiced by almost everyone even if not openly discussed or admitted
to. She told me that she also masturbated often but usually when nobody was
home which is why I only saw her doing it a few times in my early memories. I
started masturbating when I was barely twelve and my mom demonstrated some
techniques in herself for me help me make it better but she didn't touch me. My
mom has always head an open invitation to me to use her toys whenever I want to
but I have never really liked them all that much, preferring to use my fingers
instead.
Growing up I masturbated a LOT – and I still do. It was not unusual for me to
do it two or three times a day. Usually I did it in my bedroom but there were
those times when the "need" would strike me and my parents always encouraged me
to take care of myself rather than put it off for later. For instance, sometimes
when we were in the car I would do myself in the backseat if I got horny enough.
If we were watching TV and I was turned on by some hunk on the show I would play
with myself on the couch. If we were in a movie theater and I was horny I
wasn't afraid to take care of myself in the dark.
It would be naive for me to try and say my parents completely ignored me at
these times – that would be sort of hard to do after all. At the same time they
didn't interfere with me or make me feel embarrassed in any way. After all,
masturbation is not sex, it's just a healthy means for someone to relieve the
urges and needs that any normal person experiences. What difference did it make
if they watched? It's not like I was doing anything to be ashamed of.
My cousin Kristi is two years younger than me but we have always been more like
two sisters. When she was twelve she started masturbating – same age as me when
I started. Once at my grandparent's farm we played with ourselves together.
From then on we enjoyed mutual masturbation but never actually touched each
other until this past summer.
Actually I use to masturbate with most of my friends when I was younger,
especially during sleepovers and slumber parties. Like with my cousin, we never
really touched each other except maybe an exploratory moment. It was just
something girls did then and according to the girls in the youth groups I work
with, still do even though oral sex has become much more prevalent instead.
My aunt is also two years younger than my mom but after a couple years of minor
weight issues she now has the figure of a girl in her twenties. Prior to having
sex with my parents I was not involved sexually with her in any way, nor was I
even aware of what went on between her and my parents. I was especially unaware
of what she and her daughter did! So during those years I saw her a lot – she
and my cousin practically live at our house since her divorce many years ago,
but all I knew was she was sexy and hot.
When I was fourteen I had sex for the first time with a sixteen year-old boy and
I couldn't wait to get home to tell my mom all about it. That is also a key to
my relationship with my parents – we never hide anything from one another. I
have told my mom about every date I have ever been on including every blowjob
and fucking. She loves hearing me tell her about it and I know that she often
masturbates afterwards, sometimes even rubbing herself unconsciously while I am
telling her about what happened to me. She readily admits to living vicariously
through me and I think it is cool!
Once I started having sex with the boys I found my dad was just as interested as
my mom was when it came to hearing about my exploits. He would often masturbate
after I told him about one of my dates but at the time I just assumed it was
because he was a guy and I knew guys loved to hear sexy stories. Honestly, the
thought that he might be wishing he was one of my boyfriends never even crossed
my mind.
Sometimes I would bring boys home for sex. My parents told me it was OK and
that they would rather I do it in my bedroom than in the back seat on some guy's
car. I was not so naive though not to realize that they also enjoyed sneaking a
peek while we were doing it. Many a time I would look over a guy's shoulder as
he fucked me only to see my dad through the crack I would leave in the door for
him. For whatever reason I found that I liked it when I knew he was watching.
It made me feel safe plus I knew from the bulge in his pants that he enjoyed it
as well. I think the boys would have freaked if they had known they were being
watched but that made it all the more hot for me as well.
Not surprisingly, once I started having sex with my parents a number of things
changed. The biggest difference was that my parents opened up to me about the
personal areas of their lives that they had kept from me until then. For
instance, they finally felt free to have sex in front of me. The family room
became a favorite place for all of us and more often than not at some point
during the night my dad will fuck either me or my mom, usually while he is in
his lounge chair but sometimes on the couch or floor. My mom and I both enjoy
watching dad fucking the other so it is not a problem for either of us. In
fact, usually whoever is not getting him will masturbate herself instead. So
you could indeed say that my everyday life changed once I was involved in incest
but I’m not complaining!
POSTLUDE
========
I wrote this before my parent’s divorced and before I learned WHY they divorced,
including many things about them during my youth that I wasn’t aware of when
writing this article. I now know I was a little naïve about many things.
For instance, my dad wasn't nearly the saint I considered him to be for
supposedly holding back his desires for me as I grew up. The reality was he was
ready to do just about everything with me that first time I jerked him off in
the hot tub and had my mom not been there to stop him, who knows what may have
happened.
Growing up, he “waited” for me to make the first move because my mother
threatened to divorce him and call the police if he laid a hand on me. Even if
his motives weren’t as pure as I had thought, I still admire him for having the
willpower not to try and do anything behind my mother’s back.
I also realize how much harder it was for him to hold back once I started having
sex at fourteen than I even imagined. I know now that my father is a sex addict
and a pedophile and to lose out on the opportunity to fuck his fourteen year-old
daughter had to be nothing short of torture for him.
Watching me having sex with my boyfriends was obviously more about seeing young
teenagers having sex than my security, but still he WAS there if I needed him so
did it really matter that his motives were less pure than I had given him credit
for?
Needless to say, this also takes away some of the innocence of his erections and
masturbation around me. I realize now it WAS for me and he WAS trying to lure
me into wanting his dick. He may have been prohibited by my mom from actually
DOING anything, but that didn't mean he couldn't try to catch my attention.
Bottom line, even if my dad’s motives and intentions were not quite what I had
thought, his ACTIONS remain the same and I think I respect and love him even
more now knowing the demons he had to deal with.
THE END
My Life Before Incest