Subject: Adultery (nosex)
Author: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
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!!!WARNING!!!!
This file is a work of fiction containing sexually explicit material which may
include depictions of underage, nonconsensual and unprotected sex as well as
incest and adultery. It is not intended to implicate any person or action by
them or me, nor advocate such practices. If you can't separate fantasy from
reality, get professional help - FAST!
The material is distributed as "For Adults Only" and possession by a minor is
strictly forbidden. If you are not legally empowered to be in possession of
this material, do not read it and delete it immediately.
This work is copyrighted ©2011 to the author. It may be posted with the
permission of the editor to non-commercial "free" sites, or in the "free" area
of commercial sites so long as no changes are made to the content AND the
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"Thou shalt not commit adultery."
King James version
"You shall not commit adultery."
New International Version
"Adultery is sexual relations in which at least one participant is married to
someone else."
- Wikipedia
"He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself. He will
get wounds and dishonor, and his disgrace will not be wiped away. For jealousy
makes a man furious, and he will not spare when he takes revenge. He will accept
no compensation; he will refuse though you multiply gifts."
— Proverbs 6:32-35
"Let marriage be honored among all and the marriage bed be kept undefiled, for
God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers."
— Hebrews 13:4 (New American Bible Revised Edition)
"But God came to Abimelech in a dream by night and said to him, "Behold, you are
a dead man because of the woman whom you have taken, for she is a man’s wife."
— Genesis 20:3 (ESV)
"Adultery refers to marital infidelity. When two partners, of whom at least one
is married to another party, have sexual relations—even transient ones—they
commit adultery."
— Catechism of the Catholic Church 2380
"Adultery is an injustice. He who commits adultery fails in his commitment. He
does injury to the sign of the covenant which the marriage bond is, transgresses
the rights of the other spouse, and undermines the institution of marriage by
breaking the contract on which it is based. He compromises the good of human
generation and the welfare of children who need their parents' stable union."
— Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2335
*********************
After reading the above it would seem at first glance that anyone having sex
with someone other than their wife or husband is committing adultery, an act
punishable by death in biblical times (of BOTH parties involved).
The key words here are, "at first glance". It's easy to take something out of
context by reading it in black and white terms without taking into account the
full meaning and the implications of what is being said. For example, perhaps
one of the most abused verses in the Bible is where Paul exhorts women to
"submit to your husbands". People with agendas have taken those words out of
context to validate their beliefs that women are second-class citizens and
subject to their husband's demands. Anyone reading the whole text of the letter
from Paul with an understanding of the culture of the era during which this
statement was made would say something entirely different. If anything, Paul
was a feminist!
The one fact that stands out in all of the statements quoted at the beginning of
this article is the implication that the person being charged has done these
acts without the consent of their spouse. "Make a man furious", "breaking the
contract", "sexually immoral", and "transgresses the rights of the other spouse"
all point to injury being made on the uninvolved spouse.
For most people, it doesn't matter what the meaning is behind the words, they
take the 7th commandment literally without any room to wiggle. For them it's
black and white and there's no discussing the matter. I can say this because my
own mother was one of these people. So far as she was concerned, having sex
with someone man outside of her marriage was immoral and wrong not to mention a
major sin. Because of this my mother never once had sex outside of her marriage
during the over 25 years of her marriage.
Now it's my turn to parse my words. While my mom was steadfastly against
adultery, she DID have sex with my dad's brothers and one of her nephews. She
rationalized this by defining "marriage" as being more than just a relationship
with my father but rather extending to his immediate family as well. Thus when
she married my dad, in her heart she felt that she effectively had married his
family too. Even she admitted that this was most likely stretching the meaning
of the Bible out a lot further than most people would accept, but she felt
convicted about it and as I grew up I was heavily influenced by her when it came
to these matters.
With my mother’s influence driving me, for the first 25 years or so of my life,
my expectations were that once I was married that I would continue having sex
with my dad and uncles along with whatever family members on my husband's side
wished to be involved - assuming of course it was something I wanted as well.
However, when it came to anything outside of our marriage circle then that would
have to come to an end once I said those magic words, "I do." To be honest, it
wasn't something I was looking forward to but it I knew in my heart that I would
have to comply with if I was going to be true to my religious faith and ethics.
In a way, it was like those times when I was not really in the mood but my
father needed me. It goes without saying that as my father his needs came first
so I have always fulfilled my duties and obligations as his daughter. So too
will I fulfill my obligations as Steve's wife now that our marriage has become a
reality. As by the way, yes I WILL submit to him but that doesn’t mean I am his
slave but his wife. Read my article on submission if you want to know more
about what I mean by this.
Let’s face the facts... if the Bible was really all that easy to read and
understand, then why do we have thousands of different churches and untold
translations? So it was with me and my “translation” of the subject of
adultery. There come times when you have to make your own decisions and so it
was with my stance on "adultery". People change all the time. What’s important
is WHY you change.
The main reason I re-examined my position on adultery was my fiance Steve.
Steve made it clear that he did NOT want a monogamous relationship and that he
expected us both to seek out other partners, both alone and as a couple. In my
studies it became apparent to me that the Bible wasn't so much against someone
having sex outside of marriage but rather someone having sex outside of marriage
against the will of their spouse. In other words, no cheating. Back in those
days I'm not sure if the vocabulary even had words to differentiate the two acts
so "adultery" was likely used by default.
To be completely clear up front, if you substitute the word "cheating" in place
of "adultery" in all the quotes at the start of this article then I would have
no problem whatsoever agreeing to the statements made. Cheating is wrong. It
leads to jealousy, feelings of betrayal, low self-esteem, and can easily be a
stake in the heart of even the best marriages. If you ask me, cheating on your
spouse is one of the lowest acts a person can do.
On the other hand, if your spouse is OK with you doing something, even it's
having sex with someone else, why would that not be alright? Of course this
should be discussed and communicated well BEFORE anything is done. Getting
caught and then trying to manipulate your spouse to understand and forgive is
still cheating... and still wrong on every level.
Since I agreed to marry Steve we’ve had many long discussions on this topic as
he knows how important it is to me that we maintain the proper relationship
between us at all times. Whenever possible we discuss our plans ahead of time
so there are no surprises. Of course there are those windows of opportunity
that sometimes arise and won't stay open for long but so long as we tell the
other about it as soon as possible afterwards then it’s OK. The overriding
principle is that we keep no secrets from one another when it comes to sex - or
anything else in a our marriage. So far we haven’t been married all that long
so there hasn’t been much chance to test our agreements but I knowing how things
went before we got married, I don’t see any reason to worry.
So to reiterate... When I have sex with another married man, MY husband either
knows about it or he will shortly and thus I’m not cheating on him. However, if
the guy fucking me keeps it a secret from his wife, then HE is the one cheating
on his wife, not me. While I may not be telling her about it, that's only
because she’s not my spouse and so I’m under no obligation to do so.
Adultery and cheating are issues like abortion and the death penalty. People
have strong opinions backed up by their reading of scripture, their cultural
background, and personal opinions. Just as with abortion, reaching agreement on
what is adultery and what isn't is virtually impossible. As such I respect
other people's opinions and would never question how they deal with the subject
when it comes to their own marriage. All I ask is to be given the same respect
and not be questioned about my beliefs or have people tell me I am a degenerate
or some form of whore or pervert because I believe differently.
In the end I believe the final proof is to look at the state of a marriage. My
own parents, with as strong a relationship as they had - and still do, couldn’t
remain married in part because of the issue of adultery so what does that tell
you?. I think it says that whatever the beliefs, the important thing is that
BOTH people agree when they marry and then follow through on those beliefs. If
not then it may take a long time but sooner or later the marriage is doomed - if
not by divorce then by turning into a loveless marriage of convenience.
What YOU decide to do in your marriage is ultimately up to YOU. I’ve made my
decision and I feel comfortable with it and look forward to a lifetime being
married to the man I adore and love. At the same time I also look forward to
having fun when it comes to my sex life - and not just with my husband.
*********************
So in closing, as a teacher I feel compelled to give a quiz to see how well I’ve
gotten my point across. For each description below, decide whether or not the
husband has performed an adulterous act. Don’t take into account how his wife
may PERCEIVE the act, just whether or not he legally is committing adultery
based on the “rules” I’ve established in this article.
Husband A: Sits at home while his wife is sleeping, masturbating while watching
porn on the Internet, keeping it all a secret from her. Their sex
life has deteriorated because his wife can't measure up to the whores
he jerks off to on the Internet.
Husband B: Has an affair with a coworker who is also married. Both are keeping
it a secret from their spouses. They considers it “just sex” and
neither has any intention of leaving their current spouses or ever
going public. Each blames their spouse for “driving” them to others
to seek the sexual arousal they crave.
Husband C: Has sex with his wife’s older sister at a family reunion. It’s a
moment of passion and they never do it again. He never tells his
wife and she keeps it a secret from her husband as well.
Husband D: Has sex with a coworker at the company Christmas Party. His wife
knows about it but isn’t interested in a threesome so she stays
clear. They don’t discuss it later but has no issue with it so long
as he doesn’t hide it from her.
Husband E: Sits at home while his wife is sleeping, masturbating as he looks at
photos of the teenager neighbor girl he took while she was sunbathing
in her back yard by the pool. The girl is only 14.
Husband F: Gets blowjobs from his secretary. Keeps it secret from his wife.
Husband G: Gets horny for the neighbor wife (and mother of two). His own wife
has is already having sex with other men so she is OK with anything
he does. He ultimately has sex with the neighbor woman who keeps it
a secret from her own husband and family.
So which husband has committed adultery? According to my sense of morals and
ethics, only Husband B is guilty. In reading how I made my determinations, keep
in mind I believe that adultery requires two things - the ACT of sex and the
INTENT to cheat. If either element is missing, there’s no case for adultery.
Husband A: He’s fantasizing about something he can never have. Is that any
different than wishing for that fancy new car or boat? There’s
obviously no real sex involved and he’s not planning on actually
meeting anyone so neither criteria is met. His wife may feel
violated by his lust for other women but he didn't commit adultery.
Husband B: This one is pretty cut and dry. He’s having sex outside his marriage
family AND he is doing so without the knowledge and consent of his
wife, hence he is cheating and is an adulterer. Some flexibility can
be used. For instance I don’t require that my husband has to call me
first should an unexpected opportunity arises, but he DOES have to
tell me about it when he gets home.
Husband C: By definition incestual sex is NEVER adultery, no matter what the
circumstances or who knows about it. Just by the act of marrying my
husband I gave him blanket permission to have sex within both our
families, assuming of course they’re interested. While I definitely
don’t encourage keeping secrets, at the same time it’s not like my
husband has to run home and confess to me every time he does it with
my aunt or cousin, or even my mom. It’s something that comes with
the territory when you put on the ring.
Husband D: Yes, he’s having sex outside of marriage but the key is he has his
wife’s permission. It doesn’t matter whether or not she is involved.
If she’s OK with it then there’s no cheating, hence no adultery.
Husband E: No doubt he would probably cheat on his wife if he could. Yet while
he might be classified as a pedophile, that doesn’t make him an
adulterer unless he actually has sex with the girl.
Husband F: Sure he would have sex if he could but the key fact remains he
didn’t. By definition sex is the physical act of a penis penetrating
a vagina (it doesn’t matter how much, even just the tip counts) so
blowjobs don’t count so far as adultery goes. Admittedly many wives
may take a dim view of such an act but they can't accuse their
husband of committing adultery.
Husband G: No doubt some people probably classified this one as an act of
adultery. In a way you would be correct as the other wife certainly
did. Still, just because your partner commits adultery doesn’t mean
YOU are. I have sex with numerous men who were cheating on their
wives and thus committed adultery. Since I was single at the time,
who was I cheating on? Obviously nobody so therefore I was not
committing adultery.
Did you get all seven correct? Don't worry if you didn't as that just means we
view adultery differently which is not all that unusual. There are a lot of
grey issues that people doesn’t agree on and that doesn’t always mean one or the
other is “right”; it just means they have different belief systems. So long as
someone remains true to their own beliefs and they don’t hurt anyone else, who
is say they are right or wrong? If they are committing a sin then they are
answerable to God, not me, so it’s not my right or duty to pass judgment.
Well, that’s it. If anyone feels they have a different opinion on adultery,
then that’s fine with me but I really don’t care to debate the subject. We may
as well debate evolution or global warming. All I ask that that people respect
my beliefs and ethics just as I would theirs.
THE END
Adultery