Subject:     Revelations
Story Codes: MF F-solo incest father daughter
Diary Date:  February 14, 2010
Author:      Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>

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                              !!!WARNING!!!!

This file contains sexually explicit material which may include graphic 
depictions of underage, nonconsensual and unprotected sex as well as incest, 
adultery, sodomy and bestiality.  It is distributed on a website clearly 
identified as "For Adults Only".  Possession by a minor is strictly 
forbidden.  If you are not legally empowered to be in possession of such 
material, do not read it and delete it immediately.

This work is copyrighted 2012 to the author. It may be posted to non- 
commercial "free" sites, or in the "free" area of commercial sites so long as 
no changes are made to the content and the Author information is retained.   
Any other use of this work is by written permission of the Author only.

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Summary:

Until just recently I would have contended that I finally had my life pretty 
much in order.  My religious beliefs were biblically grounded.  From these 
beliefs, I’d worked out the moral and ethical principles to guide my actions.  
My career goals were laid out and I felt I knew “what I want to be when I 
grow up”.  While marriage still seemed to be a distant goal, I enjoyed good 
relationships with my family and friends.  Yep, I was perhaps even a bit 
smug, confident that I pretty much had everything under control.

A lot can change in a short time.  Sheesh, was I just naïve or stupid?  Well, 
it just goes to show you can never take anything for granted.

Table of Contents:
   Chapter 1 – A Confession to My Readers
   Chapter 2 – Clueless
   Chapter 3 – Stunned
   Chapter 4 – Going Forward
   Chapter 5 – Unanswered Questions


Chapter 1 – A Confession to My Readers
======================================

If there is one question I get asked more than any other, it’s “Are your 
diary stories true?” My answer is always a qualified “yes”.  The “qualified” 
part is because while the plots and overall scenarios are factual, I have 
always openly admitted to making a few modifications to maintain the privacy 
of everyone involved – especially me.  Certainly it can be no surprise to 
anyone that I change the names but there are also lots of little things I 
have to change that people might not realize which could might aid someone 
with devious motives.

First, I obviously don't post an entry about every date, party, or event I am 
involved in.  My “diary” is actually a selection of stories which I see as 
the “highlights” of my life.  Not all of them are necessarily “good times”.  
In the end, I write about the times that made me who I am today.  With that 
in mind, does it really matter what hair color someone has, how tall they 
are, or even exactly how old they are?  Does it matter to the story which 
restaurant or movie theater I really go to, or even what school?  Is the 
exact date crucial to the meaning of the story?

There’s no way I can include EVERY detail or I’d be writing novels.  Does the 
dialogue have to be exactly what was said?  The point is, none of these 
“minor” things have any bearing on what the overall story is about or what 
happened, so why should anyone care that I have changed them unless they are 
out to do me harm?  Thus I don't feel that by changing any of these minor 
things makes my Diary any less a reflection on my life for what it covers and 
I make no apologies.  Face it, unless you actually met, me, you would never 
know the difference anyway.

Now and then, however, there are things that I DO lie about or deliberately 
“embellish”, usually because they are every sensitive subjects or could be 
taken the wrong way.  I’m not necessarily proud when I have to resort to 
this, but it’s my web site and I set the rules!  This doesn't happen often 
and I consider it a last resort.

Perhaps one of the biggest events in my life that I’ve been blatantly 
dishonest about in my diary has to do with my parent’s marriage.  While they 
indeed had a long, and for the most part good marriage, it’s certainly had 
its ups and downs just like any other – maybe even more.  I have always loved 
my mom and dad dearly so I plead guilty to presenting their marriage a little 
more positively than it is really was out of respect for them.  Well, a LOT 
more positively if I am being honest now.  

What I am leading up to is that when I say my parents’ marriage WAS good, 
it’s in past tense not because my mother died a year and a half ago.  Sure, 
that is what I have said in my diary but the real reason is because they got 
divorced.  Frankly, I was totally blindsided when they told me.  Of course I 
knew there were issues between them; I heard them fighting when they thought 
I wasn't listening although for the most part I didn't know why.  Still, all 
marriages have their rough moments and I never dreamed they would actually 
ever go so far as to split up.

My parents’ break-up was a tremendous blow to me which is why my web site 
went off-line for a few months while I tried to sort my life out.  My first 
reaction was to just drop the whole website thing altogether.  I mean, after 
all I’d said for years about how wonderful my parents’ marriage was, how 
could I explain why they were now divorced?  With my mom out of my life, 
having moved to the west coast near where her best friend lives, how would I 
address her in any future stories without mentioning the divorce?

After thinking and praying about it long and hard, I came up with the idea 
that I would say she died in a car crash and thus nobody would wonder why I 
never mentioned her again.  Of course anybody trying to find a newspaper 
account or police record of such a crash during that time period would 
realize it was a fake story, but I didn't think too many people would be THAT 
driven into looking into my private life and even if they did question me, I 
could always just ignore them.

To minimize the questions, I avoided making an “announcement” or anything big 
about her “death” on my site.  Another reason for minimizing the “death” 
scenario was I wanted to avoid becoming like so many of the crappy stories on 
the Internet that start with a parent’s death which leads to sexual relations 
between family members.  It helped that I’d never said a lot about my mom on 
my website before so it wasn't that big a stretch to stop mentioning her 
completely.

Although a few people mentioned it to me later, all I had to do was say I 
didn't want to talk about it and they dropped it.  Now, over a year later, it 
rarely gets any attention.  In the end, my mom is out of my life one way or 
the other so did it really matter why?  Ironically, I think it would have 
been easier if she HAD died.

I’m sure anyone reading this is wondering why did my parents divorced after 
all the wonderful things I have been saying over the years about their 
marriage.  Until just recently, I really didn't know all the facts.  Oh sure 
they gave me the usual “incompatible” rationalizations, but I always felt in 
my heart they weren’t telling me the entire truth.  The fact that mom has not 
contacted me since she walked out tells me there were some major issues which 
nobody wants to discuss with me.  Still, if both parties refuse to discuss 
it, then how was I suppose to find out the truth?  Well, until now I didn’t.

So why am I confessing this all now?  It’s been a year and a half and 
everyone has bought the “mom killed in a car wreck” story so why rock the 
boat?  Well, this entry is about recent events that were VERY important to 
me, events that will profoundly change my life and I felt it was important 
that people understand why things will be different for me in the future.

The problem I faced was choosing to either completely fudge things about my 
mom and her role, or fess up about the real reason she “died” and thus tell 
this story more truthfully and completely.  In the end, I chose the latter if 
for no other reason than it makes it a lot easier to write!  I’ve always said 
that reality was easier to write about than fantasy.  Trying to twist the 
events I am about to write about to fit the death scenario would have been 
difficult if not downright impossible.

A final word on this subject... 

I hope that the people who read my site and have been so supportive of me 
over the years will understand my motives and forgive me for lying to them 
about my mother’s “death”.  In my heart I never intended to deceive anyone 
any more than absolutely necessary, hence the usual “I don’t want to discuss 
it” response when people would ask me about my mom’s “death”.  Until now it 
really didn't matter all that much whether she was killed or not as since 
after the divorce she has been dead to me, maybe not in body but in spirit.  
Thus had not the recent events occurred, odds are I would’ve never said 
another word about it.

For better or worse, things HAVE changed a LOT recently so I just wanted to 
clear this up before I continued.  Be forewarned that as I write this I will 
be referring to my mom as she REALLY was, so don't be confused if it 
conflicts with past entries as I am not going to go back and change them.


Chapter 2 – Clueless
====================

This past weekend was quite a time for me.  It all started when I innocently 
called my Aunt Linda to discuss the upcoming Valentine’s Day.  As always, I 
was brimming with excitement as to what my dad might be getting me this year.  
My boyfriend Randy had already sent me the standard-issue bouquet of flowers 
and I assumed a card would soon follow, maybe with luck a box of Godiva 
chocolate (if he could take a hint).  I wasn't all that worried about randy 
anyway since he’s not the overly romantic type to start with, plus we aren’t 
exactly THAT close, at least in terms of any long-term relationship.  My dad, 
though, was a different story.  He’s always doted on me for Valentine’s Day, 
even more than Christmas some years.  I still remember that sexy lingerie 
outfit he bought me a couple of years ago.  Did it REALLY come without 
panties or did he “accidentally” leave them out?  LOL

My aunt started to say something to me but then there was a long pause on the 
phone as if she was considering carefully what she was going to say.  Even 
after all that she would only tell me was that I needed to talk to my dad – 
and soon.  When I tried to press her she refused to say anything more than, 
“I think maybe it’s time you were finally were told a few things.”

Well, you can imagine how well THAT went over with me so I promptly called my 
dad and asked him point blank what the heck my aunt was talking about.  My 
first sense that something was indeed amiss was when he seemed more surprised 
that my aunt had SAID such a thing than WHAT she had said.  Then he too acted 
all dark and mysterious, asking me if I could stop over later in the evening 
to “talk”.  THAT got my attention as usually when my dad wanted me to come 
over later in the evening it wasn’t to talk!

For the rest of the day I was totally distracted as all I could think about 
was what in the world they could be talking about.  Something kept telling me 
that they were going to announce that they were getting married.  When they’d 
first started seeing more of each other after the divorce had settled down, I 
assumed that it was just the two of them enjoying each other’s company again 
– in a variety of ways with sex, of course, being the primary motivator.  My 
dad has always had a special thing about sex with my aunt so that certainly 
wasn't surprising.  When my aunt eventually moved in with my dad, they 
assured me that it was just for convenience sake.  Yeah, I knew exactly what 
“convenience” they were wanting!  But hey, I wasn't arguing as it let me move 
out of my apartment and save on rent money.

Still, for some reason I’ve never been able to picture them getting married 
but then I may have missed the signals.  Looking back, I guess they never 
actually came right and SAID they weren't ever going to do anything more than 
just live together.  Maybe I had just assumed it based on their comments and 
behaviors.  Then there was the whole divorce thing.  I could never imagine my 
dad ever getting married to another woman after what happened with my mother, 
and especially not to her sister, regardless of the sex.

Also standing in the way of any marriage plans was the issue of our extended 
families, most of who were still in a state of shock over my dad and my aunt 
living together.  I could only imagine the tongue wagging if they announced 
they were getting married.  It would have been bad enough had the “other 
woman” moved in with him after my mom left, but when that woman was her own 
sister... well I shouldn't have to draw a picture for you to know what people 
were saying about them as it was.  And then to get married on top of it all?  
No way.

Sometimes I amaze myself at how clueless I can be, especially when it comes 
to reading my own father.  I don't know if my judgment is clouded because 
he’s my father and I have these preconceived notions of how I THINK he should 
react and behave, or maybe something else.  Whatever it is, all through my 
life there have been so many times when I was sure about something regarding 
him, only to find out later I was completely off base.  Usually it had to do 
with what he wanted for Christmas or something as inane, never anything TOO 
serious.  This time it was starting to look like I’d missed something much 
more serious.

One of the earliest of those “clueless” times was back when I was only eight 
years old.  I’ve written about all this before in “My Thoughts About 
Masturbation” so I won’t repeat all the gory details here.  Essentially I was 
with both of my parents in our hot tub after my mom had caught me watching my 
dad masturbate.  My mom has always maintained that her sole intent was to 
teach me about male masturbation and what better way than to let me help him 
do it in a controlled environment? 

I can distinctly remember to this very day how fascinated I was when my dad’s 
cock started to grow, becoming erect as I held it, and then how much he 
enjoyed it when she told me to rub it with my hands.  I’d seen him cum before 
when he masturbated but it still caught me completely by surprise when 
without any warning he suddenly started shooting it all over me and into the 
water.  Nothing went in my mouth or anything so my mom just washed it off my 
face and chest without making a fuss over it.

After he’d cum, my dad held my head and he started pulling it closer to him 
but my mom became upset when he did that and told him to stop.  Of course at 
the time I had no idea that what she wanted him to stop doing was me sucking 
his dick!  My mom certainly figured it out quick enough though!  Well, 
because of her intervention it would be another eight years before I ever 
held my dad’s cock again, and then it was only because I initiated it.  This 
was a perfect example of how I had no idea what my dad’s true desires were 
for me when it should have been obvious.  Even though I was eight years old, 
I would think a girl’s natural instincts would have taken over and I would 
have done just fine.  Oh wee, just a perfect example of me being clueless 
even when I was younger.

Of course, I don't blame myself for being eight years old and not realizing 
what my dad really wanted, but that doesn’t excuse me for missing all the 
hints and signals he sent my way as I got older, especially when I turned 
fourteen and started having sex and giving all the boys at school and church 
blowjobs.  It sort of turned me on that my mom and dad liked to hear about my 
dates, especially the sex parts.  While I knew my dad would usually get an 
erection when I described what I’d done, I just figured it was a natural male 
reaction to a sexual situation – not anything to do with me personally.  In 
other words I was clueless.

Perhaps had I grown up in a more “typical” family where sex talk was taboo 
and masturbation something that was hidden and NEVER discussed, maybe then I 
would have realized sooner what my dad really wanted from me.  Instead, I was 
raised in relatively conservative environment where while nudity was 
acceptable, it still had to be under the proper conditions such as bathing, 
dressing, or like when we were in the hot tub.  Running around stark naked 
was NOT allowed.  My mom always insisted that I wear SOMETHING to learn at 
least a little modesty.  The lessons became so engrained as I grew up that to 
this day I don't even run around nude in my own place.

In a similar manner, masturbation was something I was taught at an early age 
as being a normal thing that people did when they felt the need – no 
different that scratching an itch.  Although I didn’t start seriously 
masturbating until I was eleven, I often saw my parents doing it, especially 
my dad, before then.  It wasn't just when he watched porn but even just 
regular TV shows (Amanda Tapping on StarGate SG1 has always been one of his 
favorites) would get him hard and make him have to take care of his needs 
then and there in his chair.  It’s not like he whipped it out and made a big 
deal of it or said anything – he just did it.  If I happened to be there then 
I saw him, if not I didn’t – simple as that.

So in such a casual setting, can I really be blamed for not realizing that 
there were times when my dad was masturbating because of ME?  While I didn't 
lounge around the house naked, I didn’t exactly overdress, especially during 
the evenings.  My favorite outfit when I got into my teens was one of his 
dress shirts or sometimes just a t-shirt.  Since I was a little girl I’ve 
always had an issue with panties and so I seldom wore them - and in the 
evening I NEVER wore them at all.

Thus at times when I was laying on the couch or doing things around the 
house, I’m sure my bare ass was on display but I didn't give it a second 
thought since I was taught that it wasn't anything to be ashamed of.  
Besides, it’s not like I wiggled it suggestively for him or anything naughty 
like that unless we were joking around.  So was my dad masturbating because 
my t-shirt had ridden up or because of what was on TV?  At the time I never 
even considered it could be anything but the TV.  In other words I was 
clueless.

Yet another example of my being naïve as a teen regarding my dad was when I 
started dating boys and bringing them home for sex.  My parents told me from 
the beginning that they would rather I bring them home than do it in the 
backseat of a car or some other place where we might be caught or not be 
safe.  Of course my boyfriends had no idea I had my parents’ permission to 
have sex in my bedroom so they usually were a little nervous at first doing 
me while my parents were downstairs, but that quickly disappeared once we 
started doing it.  They would’ve REALLY freaked if they’d known my dad often 
watched us by spying through the crack in the bedroom door I always made sure 
was there.

At the time he told me it was to make sure I was safe and I actually DID feel 
much more secure knowing my dad was nearby in case something got out of hand.  
The idea that he might be just as interested in seeing two teenagers having 
sex as he was in my security never crossed my mind!  Still, why would it?  It 
was just sex and my dad had a HUGE porn collection so why would I think he 
needed to get off watching me?  Yeah, I know it sounds stupid, but I believed 
him.  He WAS my dad after all so why would I think he wanted to have sex with 
me?  In other words, I was totally clueless.

It wasn’t just his thoughts about sex with me that I misunderstood as a 
teenager.  Somehow I totally misread his desires and relationships with other 
women.  My parents taught me from the beginning that adultery was a mortal 
sin, the absolute worst thing a husband or wife could do to their spouse.  
They assured me that they’d always been faithful to one another since they 
were married and always would be – no swapping or anything like that.  As it 
turned out, they weren't lying about the results, but there was a lot more I 
didn’t know when it came to unmet desires and the resulting frustrations.

Before I started having sex with them myself, I had absolutely no idea that 
my mom had an incestuous upbringing along with her sister.  It wasn't just 
THEIR dad that wanted both sisters, later it would be MY dad as well.  If 
there was one thing about my dad’s sexual needs that I failed to realize 
before it was too late, it was how he much he craved sex with my mom’s 
younger sister.  My mom had told me early on that my dad had dated both 
sisters in high school.  When I was old enough to understand, she even 
confessed they both had sex with him as well.  Yet somehow it never crossed 
my mind that my dad and her sister might have continued doing anything after 
everyone was married.

Along the same lines, I was always told my aunt had to get a divorced because 
she and her husband didn't get along.  It wasn’t until I got involved with 
incest that I was informed of the real reason the split –her insistence on 
continuing to enjoy sex with her brother-in-law.  While technically it should 
have been OK for them to have sex since it was just incest, that doesn't mean 
the left-out spouse was necessarily on board.  As it turned out, Aunt Linda’s 
husband bailed early while my mom lived with it for over 25 years before she 
got fed up as well.

Soooooo... when I was younger and my aunt would stop by and she and my dad 
would disappear for a while, I was told he was just helping her out with her 
finances or some legal issues regarding her realty business.  It wasn’t until 
my dad started having sex with me that my mom told me what they REALLY did 
upstairs!

OK, so once again I must appear to be a little dimwitted but put yourself in 
my shoes.  Would YOU think YOUR aunt was fucking your dad, regardless of how 
many times they were alone together?  (Of course, the fact his study was on 
the first floor and the bedroom was on the second should have been a red flag 
but only if you know to look for it.) I had no reason at all to suspect 
anything so I didn’t.  In other words, I was clueless.

It wasn't just my aunt that my dad was fucked besides my mom without me 
knowing.  Once I left for college my dad started having sex with my younger 
cousin Kristi.  She was sixteen at the time, the same age I’d been back when 
he started with me.  Kristi had started having sex years before so it wasn’t 
like he took her virginity or anything remotely close.  To be blunt, he used 
her to fulfilled his need for teenage pussy which until I left for home, he 
got from me.  Well, clueless Kelly went an entire school year without ever 
suspecting a thing, not even during the breaks and visits back home when they 
would do it right literally right behind my back at times.  In all fairness, 
why SHOULD I have suspected anything?  Why would I think my dad was fucking 
my cousin?  Still, all excuses aside, I totally missed what should have been 
obvious to me.  In other words, I was clueless.

It wasn't until the following summer that I was told what was going on 
between my dad and Kristi, and even then they had to do it right in front of 
me before I fully comprehended it.  Seriously though, how many girls would 
NOT be surprised to find out their father was fucking their younger cousin?  
It was yet another case where I failed to grasp the true needs and desires my 
dad had within him – and the lengths to which he was willing to go to satisfy 
them.  Yet another case where I was clueless.

Of course, my dad fucking my aunt and cousin wasn't morally wrong – it was 
only incest after all and thus not adultery.  If he wanted to fuck them, he 
had the right to do so and as the de facto head of my aunt’s family now that 
she was divorced, they technically had an obligation to submit to him – as if 
that was ever an issue!  It was just the fact that I failed to see the 
blatant signals and realize what was going on right in front of me over long 
periods of time that goes to show how I don't always understand my own 
father.  Yes, I was clueless.

It wasn’t just family girls that my dad fucked.  I can’t express my surprise 
when he fucked my best friend Beth and my mom’s best friend Tammy.  As I 
said, fucking his sister-in-law and niece was morally OK since that was 
incest which is NOT adultery.  However, sex with Beth and Tammy was another 
thing entirely since they were not members of our family and thus it WAS 
adultery.

Sure it was crazy erotic and super hot at the time, but it made me more than 
a little uncomfortable afterwards given how much my parents had always 
preached about the sins of adultery.  They rationalized his behavior it to me 
at the time by saying that as best friends for so many years, Beth and Tammy 
were virtually part of our family but still, it WAS a pretty thin 
rationalization.  The fact I accepted it without realizing the full 
implications just goes to show how clueless I could be, even when I was in my 
late teens and supposedly so smart and sophisticated.

Take it from me, it’s pretty hard to admit being clueless about so many 
things.  Still, none of this was anything at all of the magnitude of the 
things I was even more clueless about, things I was about to find out for the 
first time in my life.  As I was sitting on my bed, waiting to go over to my 
dad’s house and find out what this mystery was all about, you would think I 
might have figured some of these BIG things out for myself.  Looking back now 
as I write this, it was all there, a simple puzzle just waiting for me to put 
the pieces together.

Somehow I was so blinded by my own beliefs and so assured of my relationship 
with my father that all I could think about was what was happening between 
him and my aunt.  That it could have anything to do with me or my mom never 
once entered my train of thought.  Then again, I don’t blame myself TOO 
badly.  After all, why would I have ever imagined that I might have been 
wrong about so many things that I considered to be the bedrock of my life?  

Is it really my fault I’m so clueless at times?  Maybe it was not so much 
because I was clueless but that I was too trusting?  THAT scares me more than 
anything.


Chapter 3 – Stunned
===================

When I arrived at my dad’s house, I noticed my aunt’s car was gone which 
meant it would be just me and my dad.  Well, that sort of surprised me since 
I would have thought any announcement such as what I was expecting would’ve 
been made by the two of them together.  Then again, maybe he wanted to break 
the news to me by himself, knowing I would probably be pretty emotional when 
he did.

Taking a deep breath, I went in through the garage door entrance and into the 
family room in the basement where I figured he would be.  Normally my dad was 
one in one three rooms – the bedroom, his study, or the family room.  Under 
different conditions, it wouldn’t have surprised me if he had been in the 
bedroom, waiting for me so we could get right to it as quickly as possible.  
At least for the start of tonight, I didn’t think sex was his primary need 
and since the only time he was usually in his study was for work, that left 
the family room.  Sure enough, there he was with the TV blaring, slouched 
back in his favorite recliner in sweats like he was ready to go work out.

“Hey Dad!” I greeted him, taking off my winter coat and hanging it over the 
back of one of the chairs. 

With the cold and snowy weather I was in boots, jeans and a heavy sweatshirt, 
not exactly my sexiest outfit to be sure but with the crappy weather we’d 
been having, a necessity.  In any case, there wasn't anything underneath – 
top or bottom, just in case he should need any “help” from me later it 
wouldn't take much to get myself prepared for him.  I’d learned long ago when 
it came to my dad, better to be prepared for anything!  Nine times out of ten 
(at least), “anything” meant something to do with taking my clothes off.

“Kelly!” he returned with a smile on his face.

He patted his lap and I knew what he wanted so I sat sideways on his lap with 
my legs hanging over the arm, leaning in to him with my inner arm around his 
neck.

Without another word we kissed and he hugged me close with one arm while his 
free hand quickly made its way between my legs and pressed in against my 
denim- covered crotch.  Hmmm, maybe I’d misunderstood the situation and he 
was just horny for me after all.  Granted I wasn't sixteen anymore but still, 
at 24 I was almost half the age of my aunt and I knew while my dad LOVED 
fucking my aunt, he also liked younger girls which is when he would use me 
and my cousin whenever he got the “itch”.  Of course, as his daughter I knew 
it was more than just satisfying his lust, but he WAS a man and men have 
needs and if I could satisfy my dad’s, I was more than happy to do so 
whenever he needed me.  If there is one thing I pride myself on, it’s having 
NEVER said ‘no” to my dad, at least when it came to sex.

As it turned out, having sex with me wasn't his intention – at least not yet.  
Although he held his hand firmly tucked in between my thighs, he stopped 
pressing his finger into my crotch and leaned back as we broke our kiss.

“We need to talk Kelly.”

Oh boy, THAT was never a good omen.  Any time growing up when he would start 
out a conversation with those words I knew something was NOT going to be 
good.  It might have been when I spent too much on one of his credit cards.  
Other times, especially when I was younger, it might have been about how I 
dressed or behaved “inappropriately” in public – or at least worse than 
usual.  Maybe the worst time he uttered those words was when he and my mom 
announced their divorce.  Most recently had been when he told me that my aunt 
would be moving in with him, although that hadn’t turned out so bad because 
it let me move in with my cousin and stop paying rent.

“Yes daddy????” I said softly with a hint of a smile, preparing myself for 
what I was still sure was going to be a wedding announcement.

He hesitated, the way he always did when he had something to tell me that he 
knew I was going to have a hard time understanding.

“Well... it has to do with your Aunt Linda...”

Yep, I knew it... here it comes!  I was about to blurt out that I’d already 
figured out what he was going to say when he said something else that stopped 
me in my tracks.”

“...and I guess it’s time I was honest with you about a few things as well.”

Oops, now THAT didn't sound like a precursor to a wedding announcement.  From 
the pained look on his face I knew instantly that it definitely was NOT about 
an engagement.  He might be worried that I wouldn't understand him marrying 
my aunt, but he wouldn't look like it as hurting HIM so badly to tell me 
about it.

“Kelly, before that I need you to understand more about the relationship I 
have with your Aunt Linda – and what I had with your mom and her as well.”

My mind was racing as what usually happens when it does, I was getting 
totally confused.  OK, so what did he mean by “before that”?  Before what?  
Why bring up my mom now?

“Kelly, you know I loved your mother and I never meant to do anything to hurt 
her.”

Yeah right.  So what good was it if it led to a divorce?  Still, I kept my 
mouth shut and let him continue.

“I know we haven’t discussed the divorce much since your mom left.”

Like duh!  Still, I just nodded, wondering if he was going to finally open up 
about things with me.  I’d long given up that he would ever tell me the full 
story so maybe for some reason he finally was going to spill it.

“I suppose by now you’ve probably figured out that your mom and I split 
because of something to do with your Aunt Linda.”

Actually, while I may have wondered about it at times, I really did NOT have 
any strong feelings that she was the reason for my parents’ divorce.  Why 
would I think such a thing anyway?  My parents believed whole-heartedly in 
the concept of incest and so it was OK with my mom for her husband to have 
sex with her sister if for no other reason than she had to be since Aunt 
Linda was family.  However, outside of the family he wasn't allowed to be 
with other women because that would be adultery.  I guess had I never started 
sex with my dad that I never would have known about him and my Aunt Linda.  
Still, my mom had never given the slightest hint that she was jealous or 
upset with the amount of sex my dad had with her younger sister which is why 
I never seriously considered it a reason for their divorce.

“I know you’re familiar with how your grandfather took your mom and her 
sister’s virginities and even a little bit how it wasn't entirely consensual 
at the time.  After all, your aunt WAS only twelve at the time.  However, I’m 
not so sure you fully realize that despite what you may have been told, it 
never DID become 100% consensual.  I hate to say this, but your grandfather 
abused them both, even if nobody wants to admit it.  Even your mom has a hard 
time discussing it which is why she prefers the more pleasant version she 
told you.  It’s the real reason why your grandmother never got involved and 
why to this day she still doesn't like to talk about it.”

“But dad, if that’s the case then why did mom always claim that she was so 
happy that I finally had the same relationship with you that she had with her 
dad?”

My dad just stared at me, as if he was expecting me to provide the answer.  
Seeing I wasn’t quite getting it yet, he added, “Think about it Kelly... I 
know what she SAID but did she really?  Think about how she acted when you 
were younger, the restrictions she imposed on me and how overly protective 
she was of you, especially when it came to me.”

I just sat there in silence, mulling this all in my head.  Then suddenly, it 
was like the proverbial light bulb turned on over my head.  Was this why my 
mother had insisted that if anything happen between my dad and me that I had 
to be the one to initiate it?  I’d always figured it had something to do with 
her first time with her dad which I knew wasn't the best, but still I never 
suspected she had THIS strong of a reaction to it.  :Like, what would have 
happened if I had never initiated anything?  Until now, I’d assumed that 
sooner or later she would’ve stepped in as I got older, perhaps discussing it 
with me or otherwise helping me to make a decision.  Ultimately, I’d always 
assumed that my mother WANTED me to have an incestual relationship with my 
father, but she wanted me to be the one to get it started.  Was I wrong?  It 
didn't seem possible.

“So dad... are you trying to tell me that mom didn't really believe in 
incest?” 

The disbelief was thick in my voice.  This was impossible.  No way.  Not 
after all these years and having seen so much.  With mom g9one my dad could 
make up anything so what was he trying to accomplish with all this?

“That’s a complicated question Kelly, and I really don't mean to sound 
evasive.  Although she felt it was not a sinful act, so long as it was true 
incest, let’s just say I don't think she would have been overly upset had you 
and I never done it”

Wow, talk about a body blow!  Still, those things HAD happened so it wasn't 
making any sense to me.  If she was really against incest, she sure had a 
funny way of showing it!

“But what about you and Aunt Linda?” I asked, deflecting the issue for the 
moment about me and him, “I thought mom was OK with you fucking her after you 
and mom got married?”

This time my dad really looked uncomfortable, as if this was something he had 
been hoping to avoid but now that he had opened Pandora’s box, there was no 
stopping.

“Truth be told Kelly, I was about to ask Linda to marry me.  In the end I 
decided that I loved your mother more in other ways but god, the sex with 
Linda was amazing – and it still is.  She’s so much more open about things 
and we had some crazy times together when we dated, doing things your mother 
would never do with me – even after we got married.  Ultimately I ended up 
making a deal with your mom – I’d marry her so long as I could keep having 
fun with Linda, no strings attached.”

My eyes narrowed as the full import of what he was saying struck home.  “So 
you’re telling me that the fact it was incest to have sex with Aunt Linda was 
not really why mom was OK with it?  What if they hadn’t been sisters but 
girlfriends instead?  Would you have kept fucking her after you married mom?  
Even if it was adultery instead of incest?”

My dad shrugged.  “What can I say Kelly?  I like to think it was God’s plan 
to have it work out this way.  Since Linda was her sister, so long as your 
mom could rationalize it using incest there was nothing ‘illegal’ about it 
and so everyone was happy, at least mostly.”

“But dad, was mom really happy?  Sounds to me like she was sort of forced 
into agreeing with everything.  Would you really have not married her if she 
didn't go along with this?”

“Look Kelly, don't look at this as something bad or coercive.  Really, your 
mother and I truly had a wonderful marriage.  We loved each other very much 
and I like to think we still do.  Still, just like your grandfather, I have 
needs and your mom has always known her sister was better at satisfying those 
needs than she was so rather than worrying about us doing anything behind her 
back, she simply went along with it.”

This was the first time my dad had ever said anything about being like my 
grandfather, at least when it came to his sexual addictions and 
gratification.  Slowly things began to fall in place... pieces of the puzzle 
that had been laying all around me for years yet I never saw the big picture 
enough to put them together.

“So Beth and Tammy... did mom really think it was OK when you fucked them?”

The pained look on my dad’s face told me everything but he still answered me 
saying, “Well, after I did Beth we had one of the worst arguments we’d ever 
had.  We waited until you were out so you wouldn't know but we almost split 
up back then over it.  Fucking her sister was at least incest so even if it 
didn't exactly thrill her, at least it wasn't adultery.  Doing Beth was just 
me allowing my lust get the better of me and we both knew it.  It was pure 
adultery and even though we tried to rationalize it for you, she never was 
really OK with it.  Still, once the ice was broken, so to speak, she didn't 
say much the next time I did Beth or – or her friend either for that matter.”

That all made sense.  I never did get the impression that my mom was all that 
thrilled about those times.  Still, she had tried to make it sound like she 
was OK with it in the end, at least enough to convince me but then maybe it 
was because I WANTED to be convinced.

“So what about Tammy and Kristi?” I asked about my younger cousins, “How did 
she feel about them.  She seemed pretty thrilled when you did Tammy the first 
time.”

Indeed, my youngest cousin Tammy was only fourteen when my dad took her 
virginity – with the help of me and my mom.  At the time my mother did indeed 
seem quite excited about, so much so that I simply couldn’t believe now that 
she was faking it back then.

“That was entirely different Kelly, it was incest and while your mom may not 
have approved of it, she at least understood it and realized it was her duty 
as a wife to submit to my needs so long as it wasn't adultery.  Your mother 
has always known my feelings about young girls and she knew it would make me 
happy to fuck someone as young as Tammy.  Plus, she WAS my niece so she went 
along with it.  Kristi was a little different but then you were gone and she 
knew I was missing your teenage pussy so it seemed only natural for me to do 
Kristi while you were away.  Linda certainly had no problems with it and I 
suppose I don't need to say anything about Kristi,” he finished with a bit of 
a laugh.

I couldn’t help but grin myself.  When it came to sex and Kristi there were 
no surprises there, that was for sure.

Still, I wasn't totally convinced.  Not by a long shot.  This was all pretty 
crazy and there were still too many unanswered questions.

“Yeah but what about Rick?  That had nothing to do with you; it was all her.  
If she was so against incest then why did she like fucking him so much?  And 
don't even try to tell me it was to please you.  She LOVED having sex with 
him.”

“Oh come on Kelly, do I need to spell everything out?” my dad whined but then 
he continued anyway.  “You know the answer – he was a young stud with a big 
dick, available, “legal” and she enjoyed being a MILF for him.  That was all 
it ever was, pure and simple.”

Well, my mom had often told me the same things herself but under the 
conditions today, I just wanted to be sure.  Still, all this left one 
question in my mind... the BIGGEST question of them all.  The scariest 
question by far.

“So why do you fuck me daddy?” I said in a soft voice, so low he had to ask 
me to repeat myself.

It was a question I didn't WANT to ask but one I felt I HAD to ask.  Deep 
down, I knew that this question was the real reason he had asked me over and 
all this up until now had just been leading up to it.

“C’mon Kelly!  You know why.”

“I want you to tell me daddy... tell me why you REALLY want to fuck me.”

“Because I love you Kelly.”

“I know you do daddy, but you don't have to fuck me to love me,” I replied 
sharply, “Isn’t that what you’ve always told me?  So why do you fuck me?  Why 
did you want me so bad when I was younger when you already had my mom and 
Aunt Linda?”

My dad shrugged his shoulders and sighed.  “Because I needed it.  I needed 
YOU.”

He said it so softly I wasn't sure I heard him right at first but from the 
stricken look on his face I knew what he said without even hearing the words.  
It was more a confession than a statement.  There was more to it than that 
though... he said he “needed” it using past tense.

“Exactly what do you mean by that daddy?”

“God Kelly, are you really gonna make me say this?” he pleaded but I sat 
there waiting for him to continue.  “Think about it.  You were so young, so 
beautiful, so incredibly innocent yet so sexy and such an unbelievably hot 
little slut... I just had to have you,” he whispered as if he was hoping I 
couldn’t hear him.

But I did.

Even now, as tense an atmosphere as it was, he couldn't hide the thick lust 
in his voice for me.  Yet now I recognized it for what it really was – pure 
lust, the lust of an older man for a younger girl.  Of course I still 
believed he loved me, but now I knew that I had things more than a little 
mixed up.  I’ve always said he fucked me BECAUSE he loved me.  Yeah right.  
The truth was he loved me, but he fucked me because he COULD.  My dad fucked 
me because he wanted to feel his hard dick in the tight pussy of a teenage 
girl once again, because he wanted the thrill of being with a girl less than 
half his age.  He couldn't go out and just do any girl, my mom would never 
allow it.  However, he DID have a daughter, one that I now was starting to 
understand that he’d apparently groomed for years for just this purpose – to 
pleasure him.

Looking back there were plenty of clues had I chosen to recognize them – the 
over-protectiveness she showed when I first stroked my dad’s dick, the 
insistence that I be the one to initiate incest, her obsession with adultery 
(which I know understood to be more concern over my dad’s inability to 
control his desires than anything biblical), the deliberate detachment when 
he fucked my best friend, the motherly concern she showed for my cousin Tammy 
when he took her virginity at age fourteen, the general lack of desire to 
join in with my dad and me, not to mention so many other small things that I 
failed to notice at the time.

“So if that’s true, then why didn’t you fuck me sooner?  I always thought it 
was because you wanted me to be the one to want it first.  I always assumed 
that if I had never asked then you never would have done me.”

“Well, that’s mostly true... it was your mom really.  She said she call the 
police and kick me out of the house if I ever touched you before you were 
ready – and that was when YOU said you were ready, not me.  God Kelly, I did 
everything to try to get you interested.  You’re smart as hell and being such 
a slut, it’s hard for me to understand sometimes how you can be so naïve when 
it comes to what guys want.”

“So all the masturbating... the porn movies... watching me have sex... making 
me tell you about my dates... all that was to try to get me to let you fuck 
me?”

It was like something snapped in him then, as if he couldn't contain his 
frustration with me anymore.  His face darkened and his voice raised more 
than a few decibels.  

“C’mon Kelly, you’re not THAT dumb so quit acting like it.  Why the hell do 
you think I made your mom let me fuck her that night in the hot tub when we 
knew you’d be watching from your bedroom?  You were driving me crazy so I had 
to do SOMETHING to give you a nudge.”

I just sat there in a daze, unable to absorb anymore.  I knew he was waiting 
for me to say something but the words wouldn't come out.  My mind was blank, 
there was nothing for me to say.

“Kelly, don't take this all wrong.  You know I love you more than anything.  
Look in the mirror for god’s sake.  You can’t blame me for craving you.  Get 
real, you ran around the house half naked all the time, played with yourself 
CONSTANTLY without caring who was watching, fucked anything with a dick and 
yet you can’t understand why I would want you for myself?”

With that his hand moved tighter into my crotch again, his finger pushing 
into my pussy hole as best he could with the jeans in the way.  His other arm 
around me moved so he was cradling my braless breast in his hands.  I felt 
him wiggle under me, trying to maneuver his hardening dick under me.  God, 
after all this he was horny and wanted to fuck me!  Unbelievable!

Ignoring his groping hands, I had to finish what we started.  I had to know 
it all, the entire truth.

“So what’s up now then?  What’s with you and Aunt Linda?  Are you getting 
married?”

He seemed genuinely surprised at that; shocked even.  “WHAT?  Where the hell 
did you come up with that one?  Hell no, we’ll never get married.  Why would 
we want to do THAT?  The only reason I ever would’ve married her in the first 
place was for the sex and I get all I want now as it is.”

“I don't know, I figured you were living together now and all.  Why not?”

“I guess I have to spell it out again then, don't I” he huffed.  “First, I 
really DO believe that adultery is wrong.  Yes, I know I’ve had some slips in 
the past but the ones you know of were the only ones.  To be honest, the 
biggest reason I don't want to marry Linda because I don’t want to deal with 
the whole adultery thing again.  I like the freedom of being single again.”

The magnitude of what he was saying sank in and I glared at him.  “So you 
just want to be able to fuck anyone at anytime, is that it?”

“Well?” was all he said, shrugging his shoulders as if the answer was 
obvious.

“And what about Aunt Linda?”

That actually made him smirk a little bit when he replied, “Oh like she 
cares.  Hell, SHE is the one who wants to fool around the most.  Besides, how 
would she maintain her sales quota if she stopped fucking other men?”

Actually, the last part made more sense than anything I’d heard yet.  My aunt 
had quite a rep in the local realty industry for her willingness to do most 
anything to get a sale, even bringing in her own daughter is necessary, not 
to mention her niece a couple of times!  I wasn't so sure that the adultery 
“thing” was all that important to her, but you never know.

“So if you’re NOT getting married, why tell me all this today?  Why do this 
to me?”

This time he paused even longer than before but finally he drew a deep 
breath, let it out slowly, and said, “OK, so we aren’t getting married but 
there ARE things we want to do and I needed you to understand beforehand.”

Why bother?  What could he say now that could possibly top what he’d already 
told me?  Still, I was his daughter and needed to remain respectful so I kept 
silent and let him continue.

“Linda loves to party and she’s always been trying to get me to swing a 
little and do things with other couples and girls.  Well, now I can and so I 
wanted you to understand why before you heard about it.  We didn't want to 
have to hide and worry that you might drop in sometime when things were 
happening.”

Like how would I hear about it?  I didn't bother asking THAT.  There had to 
be more than this and he seemed to realize it from the expression on my face.

“OK Kelly, I guess I also need to confess something to you.  I get the 
feeling that you sometimes come over here because you think you are doing 
something to help me more than because it’s something YOU want to do.  I just 
wanted you to know that you don't need to feel that way and you don’t have to 
feel any obligations.  It’s not like I NEED you now for that anymore.”

My heart was practically pounding out of my chest.  What was he talking 
about?  What was he trying to say?  Didn't he want to fuck me anymore?  
Didn't he need me anymore?  Then it dawned on me... was I too OLD for him?  
Anything was possible and I was seeing my dad in a while new light today.  I 
knew he loved fucking me and my cousins and that it didn't hurt that we were 
young, but now I realized he loved fucking us BECAUSE we were young.  All 
those porn movies and magazines started making sense.  Damn, my dad was a 
pedophile!

“Now don’t take this wrong but your aunt has some friends who have younger 
daughters and lately we’ve been getting together and... well, you know what I 
mean.”

No... I did NOT know.  Oh sure, I knew essentially what he meant but there 
was a lot left unspoken.  If anything, my new hypothesis was verified one 
step further.

“And just how young are these daughters?” I said, unable to keep the 
accusation out of my tone.  I was sixteen when he did me and Tammy was only 
fourteen.  Still that was more a fluke of timing than anything else.  What 
did he desire if he had a choice?  Memories of me giving him a hand-job in 
the hot tub when I was eight suddenly flashed in front of me.  What did he 
REALLY want back then?

“That’s not important, the point is for the first time in a long time I don't 
NEED you to satisfy those needs in me.  Of course, I’d love to still fuck my 
daughter now and then... you ARE one hot sexy girl after all.”

So now I was a consolation prize?  I looked at him in the eyes and stated, 
“So you’re telling me that you don't want to have sex with me.”

“Kelly, did you listen to what I just said?  Of course I do.  What man 
wouldn’t?  I’m just saying we can do it when you WANT to, not when you feel 
you HAVE to.”

With that he started groping me again, as if he wanted to prove to me he 
still wanted to have sex with me but I pushed his hands away and stood up.  
If all I was to him was just a younger girl to fuck, then he could go find 
another one – and apparently he had some at his disposal.

“You know daddy, normally right now I would say, ‘fuck ME daddy’.  Not now 
though.  Now it’s fuck YOU daddy.”

With that I grabbed my coat and practically ran to my car without even 
putting it on, ignoring the biting cold and wind, and then drove home without 
looking back.


Chapter 4 – Going Forward
=========================

When I returned home I went straight to my room, brushing aside my 
inquisitive cousin who was practically bursting with curiosity as to what had 
happened.  Slamming the bedroom door behind me, I fell face first into my 
bed.  Suddenly it all came out and I burst into tears as I curled up into a 
tight ball, hugging my favorite stuffed bear tightly against my heaving 
chest.  It was like I was a little girl again and indeed, I felt like one.

Needless to say, the next morning I didn't go to church, nor did I go to my 
father’s house so he could fuck me as he usually did before church.  It’s not 
that I didn’t enjoy it, plus it always felt naught to sit in the pews with 
his cum fresh in me, but I wasn’t even close to being ready for anything like 
that now, not after what I had learned the day before.  Instead, I spent the 
morning in my own prayers, trying to decide what to do and what it all meant.  
Here’s what I came up with in the end...

First and foremost, no matter what I love my dad just as much as ever and 
will continue to love him.  I really can't blame him for anything.  Sexual 
addiction is a disease, not something a man can control.  Even though I 
realize now that my dad is a true sex addict, I respect him for having tamed 
most of his “needs” while I grew up out of love for my mother and me.  After 
all, he could have done what my grandfather had done with my mother and taken 
what was rightfully his.  Just as her mother did, I am sure my mother would 
have stood understood and so long as I wasn't harmed, not have interfered.  
But unlike my grandfather, my dad loved me too much to do that – and he loved 
my mother too much to put her in such a predicament.  God, the willpower it 
must have taken for him to hold himself back, especially when I now realize 
how badly I teased him, even if it wasn't deliberate.

Since my dad has always claimed that he didn't have to fuck me to prove he 
loved me, maybe now he’ll have the chance to stand by that claim.  The main 
reason I gave myself to him was to satisfy his needs, even if I didn't fully 
understand until now what those needs were.  Sadly, it appears that I am no 
longer young enough to fully satisfy those needs.  Still, I am his daughter 
and always will be.  I love him just as much as ever and even if we don't 
have sex again for a while – or ever, that is OK with me.

Second, I still fundamentally believe in incest.  It wasn't incest that 
brought all this about – it was sexual addiction.  My father is a sex addict 
and if anything, incest allowed him to control his urges for many years 
without committing adultery.  I always suspect my aunt is a sex addict as 
well, which helps to explain some of her actions over the years in raising 
her daughter.  The difference is that unlike my dad, she couldn't control 
herself while her daughter was younger.  Would Kristi have become a whore 
without her mother’s encouragement?  So many things for me to consider now?


Chapter 5 – Unanswered Questions
================================

Still, there are so many unanswered questions which I will never know the 
answers to until I meet my mother again, which may have to wait for heaven 
the way things are going now.

Even with all this out on the table, I still don't quite understand why my 
mother snapped.  From what I can tell, nothing was all that different.  Was 
it just as simple as a case where it was the final straw that broke the 
camel’s back – nothing specific but just the continual buildup over the 
course of more than 25 years of dealing with your husband’s addiction?  If 
so, why cut off everything with her family, even me?  Did she feel it had to 
be that way to keep her from feeling guilty perhaps, maybe even allowing her 
submissive nature to return her to my father?

Another unanswered question for me is if she allowed my father to have sex 
with me because she knew it was something he had to do or else find someone 
else, then why did she love having sex with me so much?  I’ve always talked 
about how different sex was with my mother and dad.  With my dad, it was 
always father- daughter, nothing else even in role-playing.  With my mom it 
was more like two lovers.  Was that because she wanted to have me not as her 
daughter but as another woman?  While my mother certainly wasn't straight, 
I’d never really seen any heavy influence towards women other than with me 
and her sister.  Was there more lesbianism within her than I realized?

Yet another question is left lingering.  My mom must have known since high 
school that my dad was a certifiable sex addict and pedophile so she had to 
realize that sooner or later he was going to have me - one way or another.  
In fact, it was pretty amazing that he was able to wait until I was sixteen!  
Given that was the case, then why didn’t she let him be more forward with me 
sooner?  Why put me in the decision-making position such that later I would 
feel guilty because I didn't give myself to my father first?  Why did she 
even bother stopping me from sucking his dick when I was younger?  Once I 
started having sex, why not let me know my dad wanted it too instead of 
making me feel foolish years later for not recognizing the hints he was 
giving me?  It seems the more I learn about my mom the more complex she 
becomes.

Then, although it’s pure curiosity and perhaps a bit of voyeurism, I’m dying 
to know more about the other people my dad and Aunt Linda have been seeing.  
What was this about couple’s with younger daughters?  Would he ever let me 
know more about it?  Just how young WERE these girls?  It bothered me a 
little that he had been so coy about that question.  How long had this been 
going on without me knowing about it?  My cousin has since claimed to know 
nothing but there something in the twinkling of her eyes that told me she 
wasn’t telling me all that she knew.  Given her preoccupation with young 
boys, was she perhaps involved as well?  In the end, was he maybe just 
teasing me a little and “young” meant simply younger than him but at least 
eighteen years old?  Personally, I hope so for his sake.

In the end, I suppose the REAL question is the one I don't know to ask yet.  
It’s like the line from some song, “I wish I didn't know now the things I 
didn't know then.” Still, once the genie is out of the bottle or Pandora’s 
Box is opened, things can never be the same again.  I was angry at my dad at 
first but now I more angry at myself than anything.  Perhaps “angry” is the 
wrong word.  “Disappointed” or “chagrined” are probably better choices in 
that I feel a little silly that all this was going on right in front of me 
and somehow I didn't recognize any of it.  Was it because I was that 
unsophisticated or maybe it was more that I didn't want to see it?

Whatever the reason, it really doesn't matter.  Life as I have known it will 
never be the same again.  I can only pray ask that God continue to guide me 
in my life and protect me from myself.

One last thing I want to say and that is no matter how I may have phrased 
things here or come across, I do NOT regret anything that I have done 
sexually with my father or family.  I still believe that incest has been a 
positive factor in my life and will continue to be, although I am not sure in 
what capacity.  Will I still have sex with my dad?  I am sure I will although 
I am just as sure that it will be less than in the past.  I have grown up a 
lot in the more than eight years since the first time I gave myself to my 
father and so has he.  It’s only natural that our relationship change with 
time and I see this as just one of those things that happens.

It just goes to show that none of us knows God’s plan for us.  We just have 
to live each day as it comes which is what I try to do, even if I don’t do as 
I say much of the time!  Frankly though, I could do without ever having 
another such “revelation”!

THE END

  

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