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A Rose By Any Other Name - Chapter Nine By Jeremy Spencer
   "Leave me alone," I groaned again, trying to ignore the pounding on my
door.  All I wanted at this point was to be left alone, but Natalie didn't
seem like she was taking the hint all that well, as the pounding continued.
"I don't want to talk right now," I said.  "Just go away!"
   As I had assumed would be the case, the knocking continued for a few
more seconds.  A pause, waiting for my answer followed quickly by the
veiled threat, muffled through the bedroom door, that I would have to come
out sometime.
   "You can't stay in there forever, you know!" my sister said.  Finally, I
heard her footsteps heading away from my room and I leaned back in bed,
thankful for the solitude, temporary though I knew it would be.
   I looked to the clock by my head, seeing that it was close to
dinnertime, trying to remember exactly when I had last eaten anything
substantial.  I knew I had eaten breakfast the morning before, and I was
pretty sure I'd eaten a sandwich sometime around midnight, after everyone
else was sleeping.  That was it as far as meals, and other than the
occasional piece of gum or candy bar my recent diet had consisted of soda
and the jar of peanut butter I had secreted into my room.
   Ever since the disastrous trip to Europe, I had shut myself off from the
rest of the world.  I was losing weight, losing sleep and there were times
I felt I was very possibly losing my mind.  I wondered where it had all
gone wrong.  I knew when our problems had come to a head, of course.  That
fateful evening in Sweden was forever etched in my memory, of that I had no
doubt.  No, I knew what the problem was, I just didn't know how to fix it.
I had tried, but even though my intentions had been good, things didn't go
as planned.
   The morning after I had walked in on Heather and Stacey, Heather and I
had sat down and tried to hash out what had occurred.  We had attempted to
discuss, with some semblance of civility, just what was happening between
us, but the conversation had not been pretty in the least.
   Although we tried to be adult about things, and the attempt had started
out calmly enough on both our parts, the discussion soon degenerated into
something much uglier and much more hateful.  It was almost more of a
shouting match, and I'm sad to say that most of that came from me.  I just
couldn't understand why Heather had done what she had done, how she felt it
was okay to sleep with another woman, and her answers were maddening to me,
so I lashed out.
   "Why do you have to act like such a whore?" I had shouted, after Heather
once again professed surprise at my outrage.  A sinking feeling came over
her as I saw Heather's reaction to my accusation, and I cringed.  I opened
my voice to apologize, since even without Heather's hurt look I would have
regretted saying the words almost as soon as they escaped my lips, but it
was too late.  The damage was done.
   "What?" Heather had asked tearfully, looking up at me from where she was
lying, slumped and crying on the hotel sofa.
   "I don't understand what's happening," I said, trying to back away from
my accusation.  "What happened...  you've changed."
   "Did you call me a whore?" Heather asked, her shoulders shaking as she
fought back tears, and more than a little bit of anger, I imagine.
   "I didn't mean it like that," I said helplessly.  "I just..."
   "You just what?" Heather asked quietly.  Her voice was tense with anger
and I wanted to kick myself for not thinking before I spoke as she
continued.  "You didn't like all the things we did?  You didn't like it
when we tried new things?  I was doing this for you!"
   "Doing what for me?" I asked incredulously, my shame evaporating as my
outrage and shock came quickly to the forefront.  I stood up in a fit of
stunned surprise.  "Cramming a plastic cock up inside you while eating out
my boss' wife?  Whipping me while I'm tied up in bed?  Trying to do...  God
knows what else to me!  What the hell was that?" I asked loudly, glad that
Dr.  Bergerud and his family had seen fit to leave the two of us alone, at
least for a few hours.  Their hope had been, I believe, to give Heather and
I some time to work out our issues, but that was obviously nowhere close to
happening.
   "I told you..." Heather stammered.
   "Oh, right!  You were doing it for me.  How thoughtful of you.  Remind
me to never ask you for a favor, okay?"
   Disgusted beyond measure now, sick that Heather was somehow trying to
turn her behavior into something she was doing for us, I turned to leave
the hotel room.  I was planning on taking another walk, hoping to cool off
a little.  Still, it came as a surprise when I heard Heather call after me,
her voice full of venom.
   "Daniel!" she shouted.  I paused, hoping somewhat presumptuously that an
apology might be forthcoming.
   "What?" I asked, realizing I was wrong as I turned and through her tears
could see the look of pure fury on her face.
   "Fuck you."
   Sighing, wondering again just when everything had gone so wrong and how
I had possibly missed the signs, I pulled on my coat and left the hotel,
slamming the door behind me as I exited.
   *****
   The Choral Symposium was over two days after our spat, a short span of
time on the clock that was without a doubt the most unbearable I'd ever
experienced.  I never again attempted to broach the subject with Heather,
and I could see she had no intention of doing so either.  Our last days
were frosty to say the least, most of our time spent in avoiding the
situation.  That proved simple during the day, but could have potentially
posed a serious problem at night, as the two of us had been sharing the
same hotel bed.
   Fortunately, the suite had a sofa large enough for me, and I spent two
restless nights on a lumpy hideaway bed, thankful for every painful second
away from the girl I had loved.
   Yes, loved, as in past tense.  After what had happened, what I had seen,
I didn't imagine there was any way I could ever feel the same about Heather
as I had before the trip.  I tried to rationalize my feelings, telling
myself how lucky it was the two of us had been "together" for less than a
year, but deep inside I knew I didn't buy it.  It hurt.
   I tried to tell myself I was better off finding out now what kind of a
person Heather was, as opposed to six months down the road.  What if I had
proposed?  The though had occurred to me to buy a ring before the trip, and
find a nice quiet moment here in Sweden to ask her to marry me, but I
chickened out at the last moment and considered myself all the luckier for
my cold feet.
   Now, I knew the chances of the two of us ever ending up together, much
less remaining friends, were incredibly slim.  It would take a world of
heartfelt apologies before I would consider bringing Heather back into my
life.
   The long plane ride from Sweden to the United States, far from being the
exciting, happy time we had enjoyed only a week earlier, was tense, quiet
and uncomfortable for both of us.  Fortunately Dr.  Bergerud could sense
our mutual distress and offered to switch seats with Heather.
   I did my best to bottle up what I was feeling inside, but my mentor has
a way of bringing out all kinds of emotions I had tried to hide, and I soon
found myself tearfully spilling my guts as the plane hurtled westward
toward home.
   "I just don't get it," I confessed quietly, wiping my eyes far more
often than I felt was necessary.  I mean, I was over her, right?  So why
was I all choked up?  "What was she doing that for?" I asked helplessly.
   Dr.  Bergerud looked over at me, apparently judging my emotional
stability for a moment before answering.
   "What does she say about it?" he replied.  "Why did Heather say she was
doing it?" I hated the teacher in him at that moment, forever answering a
question with a question of his own, and I struggled to come up with an
appropriate answer.
   "I don't know," I finally sighed.  "She kept giving me this lame excuse
that it was for us.  She was doing it for the two of us, she said."
   "You said that," he reminded me gently.  "But you think she was lying?"
   "How could she not be?" I asked in amazement, confused that Dr. 
Bergerud seemed to be taking Heather's side in the argument.  I realized I
was even more amazed that he seemed to be just as calm about the fact that
it was his own wife my girlfriend had been in bed with.  "How could that
possibly have been for us?"
   "Didn't you tell me once that Heather was convinced that all men were
infatuated with the idea of a threesome?"
   "Yeah, so?"
   "Maybe she was trying to find the right person to bring into your bed,"
Dr.  Bergerud suggested.
   "She was fucking your wife!" I said, a little too loudly.  I grimaced as
I saw a flight attendant stir from her seat near the front of the plane. 
Fortunately, our seats were nowhere close to the first class section, so
I'm not sure she heard exactly what I said, but it was obvious that she was
certain I had said it too loudly.  She made a shushing motion with her
finger and I nodded sheepishly.  Properly chastised I turned to my
professor and quietly repeated what I had said earlier.  "She was fucking
your wife."
   What Dr.  Bergerud said next boggled my mind.
   "That's her business," he shrugged.  "None of mine."
   "What?" I asked, after pausing for what seemed like minutes.  "How is
that none of your business?" I looked in confusion at the person sitting
next to me, wondering - not for the first time - if one night while I was
sleeping everyone I knew had been replaced by an alien.  Heather, Stacey,
Katie and now Dr.  Bergerud.  No one was making sense except me.
   "It's not," he said, smiling gently at my obvious confusion.  "My wife
and I have a...  how to put it...  a decidedly open relationship."
   "You mean..."
   "We have an open relationship," he repeated, obviously not wanting to go
any further.  Headless of his wishes, I charged straight ahead with my next
question.
   "You mean the two of you just screw anyone you want?"
   "Not quite," he said.  "We have boundaries just like any other couple,
but they're...  a bit further apart than for most."
   "How far do they go?" I asked, curious as to what I might find out about
my mentor.
   "I'm not sure I really want to..." Dr.  Bergerud started, but I
interrupted before he could finish.
   "Is your daughter included in your fun?" I asked.  "Have you fucked
Katie?" I whispered.  I remembered how surprised and, in my mind at least,
guilty, Katie had appeared when I arrived back at the hotel that night,
obviously much earlier than expected.  She hadn't appeared shocked at what
was going on in the bedroom, just that I had witnessed it.
   I had no proof, but I was certain Katie had been involved with Heather,
and Stacey.  Stacey is her mother!  my conscience screamed at me, but to my
surprise I didn't feel the shock I expected at the sudden realization that
mother and daughter may have been intimate together.
   Truth be told, I had been harboring suspicions for some time of Dr. 
Bergerud being somehow involved - and in a decidedly non-parental manner -
with his daughter.  Again, as with my suspicions of Stacey and Katie, I had
no proof of anything, but the entire family seemed...  a bit too close
somehow.
   "Yes," Dr.  Bergerud said, much to my amazement.  "Yes, Katie and I are
intimate.  Have been intimate," he corrected immediately.  "Used to be
intimate.  Once." As suspicious as I had been, I had never really expected
to receive an admission like that, and I didn't know what to say.
   "Really?" was all I could gasp out.  "The three of you..." Suddenly
nervous, I looked around, hoping no one else was hearing our hushed
conversation, but apparently no one else was awake at this time of what
passed for night on the plane.
   "No," he answered.  "The three of us don't."
   "Then what do you mean?" I asked, more confused than ever.
   "It's a long story," Dr.  Bergerud said.  "I don't know if..."
   "We're still five hours from New York," I pointed out.  "Come on, spill
it, whatever it is."
   Dr.  Bergerud sighed, looked at his watch quickly to confirm what I had
said.
   "Are you sure?" he asked, after coming to his decision.
   "Positive," I replied.  "Tell me everything." I sat back and listened in
amazement as Dr.  Bergerud told me the secrets of his life.  By the end of
his story I was more confused than ever, torn between running away from
what I felt was happening and confronting Heather with my real feelings and
making a plea to work out our differences.  In the end, I took the easier
route and avoided the conflict.
   *****
   It was now three weeks after I had arrived back from Europe.  Heather
and I had immediately realized that the two of us could in no way function
together as simple roommates, not after living together as lovers for so
many months, and I had, in a moment of good will, offered to give her some
room.  I had turned to the only people I could at that time, and returned
to my parents' home.
   My sister Natalie has always been the most perceptive member of my
family, and in this instance she proved frighteningly astute.  I hadn't
been home more than a day and a half before she cornered me in my room.
   "Spill it," she said, sitting down beside me on my bed.  It was two
o'clock in the afternoon, but I was still in bed, under the covers, trying
to hide from the world.
   "Go away," I said grumpily, trying to ignore Natalie's inquisitive
stare. "Go away," I repeated when she refused to budge from my side.
   "Nope," she said, shaking her head.  "Not until you tell me what's going
on."
   "I can't," I pleaded.  "I don't really know what happened." Receiving
nothing but a silent glare from my sister, I reluctantly began to tell
Natalie the story of my relationship with Heather.  I started from the very
beginning, leaving out the more private details, but revealing enough so
Natalie would understand both the depth of my feelings and the pain of the
betrayal.
   "Kinky," she said at one point, after I had glossed over Heather's
failed attempt to introduce me to the world of bondage.
   "Kinky?" I said.  "It hurt!"
   "So, she wasn't doing it right," Natalie laughed.  "You gave her a
second chace, didn't you?"
   "Hell no!" I said angrily.  "I don't understand what it was she thought
was so great about it.  I think it's that damn job of hers.  Something
weird is going on at that club.  I wonder now if she was screwing guys at
work the whole time was there."
   "Did you ask her about that?" my sister asked pointedly.
   "No," I said.
   "Why not?"
   "As if...  Hey, how's it going Heather?  Fuck anybody at work today?" I
asked mockingly.  "That would have gone over really well.  If she doesn't
want to tell me, so be it.  I'm done with her."
   "Oh, please!" my sister exclaimed.  "You're so not over her it's not
even funny.  Do you see what you're like right now?  How much you're
obsessing over her?  You love her, Daniel!"
   I just shook my head, amazed at how wrong my sister could be.  I was not
in love with Heather.  In fact, I probably never had been.  It must have
just been lust disguised as affection.
   "No," I swore.  "I don't think I was.  How could I have been so blind?
She was probably screwing guys left and right the whole time we were
dating. I wouldn't be surprised if Dr.  Bergerud and Heather were going at
it too," I practically shouted.  To my surprise, not only did I receive no
words of consolation, but Natalie reached out and slapped me across the
face.
   "Shut up!" she said.  "Listen to yourself, Daniel.  You sound like a
little brat."
   "What are you talking about?" I asked in amazement.  "You act like I'm
to blame somehow!"
   "You are," Natalie shrugged.  "At least on some level."
   "How?  Who's the one who cheated?"
   "She did," my sister said, nodding infuriatingly at me.  It was never
good when the two of us were arguing and Natalie started agreeing with me
on a certain point, because I knew she had something much bigger to
disagree with me, somewhere she thought I was clearly in the wrong.
   "So if she's the one who cheated, how is it my fault?" I asked.
   "What did you do about it?" my sister replied, a teacher in the making
as she answered my question with one of her own.
   "Nothing," I answered sullenly.  "What was there to do?"
   "You could have talked to her about it!" Natalie blurted out, throwing
up her arms in disgust.  "Jesus, Daniel!  How much of this could have been
avoided if the two of you would have just talked about it!"
   "What was there to talk about?" I asked.  I knew she was right, Natalie
generally is.  I wasn't sure that talking would have saved things between
Heather and I, but Natalie was right, we...  I...  should have behaved
better.
   "Everything," Natalie replied.  "You should have talked about
everything. You could have talked about her job, you could have talked
about your kinks...  her kinks, you could have talked about what happened
in Sweden, for goodness sake, instead of running away from it!"
   "Whatever," I grumbled.
   "Men!" my sister proclaimed loudly.  "Don't you get it?"
   "What?"
   "There was nothing wrong with your relationship that couldn't have been
fixed.  It was all about secrets.  You didn't like something, but you
didn't tell Heather.  Heather may have had something going on at work... 
yes, maybe...  but you don't know for sure, because you never asked her. 
Maybe something was going on, maybe not.  Then you walk in on her in bed
with someone else.  You didn't really talk about it, just screamed at each
other.  Daniel, it's all about secrets.  You just can't have secrets in a
relationship...  it's poison!"
   My sister sat back on her hands, rocking a bit as she looked at me for
some reaction.  I took a deep breath, thinking about what I was going to
say, knowing I was taking the conversation in a direction my sister was not
expecting.
   "What about your secrets?" I asked quietly.
   "I have no secrets," Natalie answered quickly.
   "What about Chris?" I asked.
   "I don't know," my sister answered after a short pause.  "What about
Chris?"
   "Oh, I don't know...  we've never met," I said.
   "It's a hassle," Natalie answered slowly.  "What with work and school
and everything..."
   "Yeah, yeah," I said.  "What's the mystery?  The two of you have been
going out for a while, right?"
   "Yeah.  I told you, we've been going out since before Christmas.  Why?"
   "Have Mom and Dad ever met her?" I asked.
   "I don't think so, but...  what?" Natalie asked abruptly, her mouth
closing quickly as she realized what I had asked and what she had
inadvertently revealed.  Her mouth gaped open noiselessly for a moment as
she tried to formulate an answer.  "I..."
   "Don't bother," I said, dismissing her with a wave of my hand.  "I know
all about your girlfriend."
   Natalie said nothing for a few long seconds, the look on her face equal
parts fear and relief.  It almost appeared she was as scared of what I
might say now that I knew, as she was thankful that her secret was finally
out in the open.
   I had wondered after seeing the two of them, Natalie and Chris - or
Christine, I wasn't sure - making out on our parents' couch on New Year's
Eve, if my parents were aware of their daughter's sexual inclination.  For
all I had known, I had been the only person out of the loop, so to speak,
in the entire family, but Natalie's silence was answer enough.  She had
told no one.
   "What do you know?" she asked quietly, the color slowly draining from
her face.
   "I know what I saw," I replied, too harshly I realized as Natalie slowly
drew away from me as if to flee the room.  "I'm sorry," I continued.  "I
heard someone come into the house last New Year's Eve.  I thought it was
Mom and Dad home early, and went to say hello, but it was the two of you.
It looked like you wanted some private time," I said with a shrug and a
small smile.
   "I'm so sorry..." my sister stammered as she reached up to wipe her
face. I could see tears forming in her eyes and that quickly my anger
dissipated and I turned into the protective older brother.
   "Hey, it's okay," I said, reaching out to wrap an arm around Natalie's
shoulders.  "Don't cry, please?"
   "What are Mom and Dad going to say?" she asked fearfully, suddenly my
scared little sister.
   "Nothing," I said, more confidently than I felt.  "I'm sure it will be
fine," I continued.  "You should really tell them.  No secrets, remember?"
   My sister snorted derisively.  She knew as well as I that everything
would not go as swimmingly as the picture I was painting.  Truth was, my
parents were very conservative people.  Not that they were racists or
homophobes by any stretch of the imagination, but I knew any announcement
from Natalie that she was a lesbian, or even that she was bisexual, if that
was the case, would be met with silent disapproval.  Not outright
hostility, of course, but their disappointment would be obvious, even if it
was never stated explicitly.
   "They'd just love that, wouldn't they?" Natalie said, her voice broken
with emotion as she reached out to hug me.  I wrapped her in my arms as
tightly as I could, trying to share some of her pain.
   "It'll be okay," I said softly.  "We'll work something out."
   "What are we going to do?" Natalie asked, her tear-streaked eyes looking
at me hopefully.
   "I don't know," I answered.  "We'll think of something."
   *****
   For better or worse, my sister's accidental "outing" to me acted, at
least momentarily, to take some of the pressure away from my life.  The
troubles Heather and I were having somehow seemed much less serious when
placed next to my sister's potential problems with our parents.  My sister,
to her credit, has more of the "fight" instinct inside of her, as opposed
to my natural inclination to "flee," and one Saturday near the end of
summer, Natalie called a family meeting.
   "What's going on?" my father asked me as the four of us walked into the
living room.  I shrugged, not wanting to steal any of the spotlight from
Natalie.  She hadn't said anything to me about it, but by the way my mother
and sister were walking side by side, their heads together in quiet
conversation, I was sure Natalie had already spoken to our mother.
   Finally the four of us were seated, Natalie and I sitting beside each
other on a love seat while our parents sat together on the sofa.  Looking
quickly at her watch, my sister stood and faced our parents.
   "I've...  I've been seeing someone for quite a while now," she started,
her eyes darting back and forth between our mother and father.  "And I've
been talking with Daniel, and...  he convinced me that it was about time
that you met Chris."
   "I didn't really do anything," I started to say, but Natalie cut me off.
   "He's right.  He didn't really push me into this, but something...  that
we talked about convinced me that this was the right thing to do."
   "Okay..." said our father, glancing curiously at Natalie and me. 
"When?"
   "Soon," my sister answered.  There was a moment's pause before the quiet
was broken by a slow tapping on the front door.  I glanced at my sister who
nodded quickly and I stood to answer.  I gave Natalie's hand a small
squeeze for reassurance as I passed her.  As I walked to the door I could
hear my sister start saying something more to our parents but by the time I
reached the door I was too far away to hear her actual words.
   "Hey," I said as I opened the door.  It was Chris, the girl I recognized
from the couch my parents were now sitting on.  "Come on in," I said.
   "Thanks," she answered shyly.  "Is Natalie around?"
   "She's in the living room," I said, stepping back so she could pass by
me in the narrow entryway.  "She's already talking to our parents."
   "Oh?" Chris replied with a bit of indifference.  Her attempted
nonchalance didn't fool me though and I tapped her lightly on the arm.
   "It's okay," I said.  "Natalie told me why you're here tonight.  Very
brave of you two," I said sincerely.  "I mean it."
   "She told you...  about us?" Chris said, her eyes wide in surprise. 
"When?"
   "Well...  I kind of figured it out on my own," I shrugged, not wanting
to go into more detail.
   "How?  When?" Chris asked.
   "Um...  New Year's Eve," I said, hoping that would be enough to jog her
memory.  It was.
   "Oh!" she blurted, blushing a light shade of pink.  Chris was a very
pretty girl and I wondered why she wasn't with some guy.  I started to
wonder if she'd had a bad experience with men sometime in her past, before
silently kicking myself.  Don't be stupid, I said to myself.  It's not as
if people decide to be gay as a last resort.
   My mental conversation must have showed on my face because Chris was
looking at me, a questioning look on her face.
   "Never mind," I said sheepishly.  "Just thinking stupid thoughts. 
Again, this is brave of the two of you.  Do you want to head in?  I'm sure
everyone is waiting anxiously for you."
   Chris sighed heavily, more for dramatic effect than any real sense of
impending doom she may have had, and followed me back to the living room.
   I was happy to see no evidence of bloodshed as Chris and I made our way
into the living room.  Deciding to let Chris and my sister share the love
seat, I took one of the arm chairs and sat back, waiting to see what would
happen.
   A bit to my surprise, neither of my parents seemed too shocked by the
new developments, much less angry about my sister's news.
   "We're very pleased to meet you," my mother said graciously, standing to
walk over to the love seat.  There was a flash of panic on Natalie's face,
but it was soon wiped away as Chris also stood and the two women embraced.
   "Yes," my father said from the sofa.  "We were wondering when Natalie
was going to bring you home," he laughed.
   I looked at my parents, assuming my own expression must have somewhat
mirrored the look of shock on my sister's face.  In no way had I expected
my parents to be anything but civil to Chris, but they were much more
welcoming than I had thought might be the case.
   "Um...  thanks," said Chris, a bit nervously.  "It's good to meet you
guys, finally." She gulped, looking quickly to Natalie for reassurance, and
I noticed the two were holding hands, protecting themselves, no doubt, from
the wrath they feared might be forthcoming.
   "Would you like a piece of cake?" my mother asked suddenly, ever the
good hostess.  She stood, looking expectantly at the two girls, who quickly
nodded, still somewhat confused by the reaction they were receiving.
   "I'll help you," I said, following my mother out of the living room and
into the kitchen.
   "You're taking this well," I said as my mother began cutting the cake.
Wanting to actually be of some help, I went to the cupboard and grabbed
enough dessert plates for the five of us.
   "Could you grab some forks, too?" my mother asked.  I nodded dumbly and
went to the silverware drawer.
   "I said, you're taking this well," I repeated as I brought over the
utensils.  I seriously began to wonder if my mother was in a mild state of
shock and was simply acting cordial and polite to avoid thinking about the
situation.  To my surprise my mother laughed quietly.
   "So are you," she nodded knowingly.  "You don't seemed surprised at
all."
   "Well, I knew about it before," I said apologetically.  "Natalie said
she wanted to tell you."
   "Good," my mother said.  "I wouldn't have wanted to hear it from you
anyway," she smiled.  "Besides, it's not as if your father and I didn't
know about Chris." At this point, I'm sure my eyes were bugging out of
their sockets.
   "Really?" I was almost speechless.  "How?"
   "Never mind that," my mother said as she placed the pieces of cake on a
serving tray.  Shaking my head in wonder, both at her apparent acceptance
of my sister's lifestyle, and the fact that my mother had just told me that
none of this was really news to her.  I blanched, as I realized that, once
again, kids don't give nearly enough credit to their parents, and wondered
just how many secrets I actually had from my mom and dad.
   Deciding that the number was more than likely far less than I had ever
believed, I finding that I really didn't want to know the truth of the
matter, I grabbed the forks and some napkins and followed my mother back
into the living room.
   *****
   The rest of the summer was more of the same for me.  I found myself
thinking of Heather more and more as time went on, further convinced by
Natalie that I just needed to tell her how I felt, and have an actual,
adult conversation with her.
   "I'm sure she'll understand," Natalie promised one night as we chatted
in my bedroom.  "She thinks you're a great guy, right?"
   "Not so sure about that right now," I admitted.  "But she's probably
right to think so.  I don't know how great I think I am, to be honest."
   "You're fine," Natalie said, giving me a quick hug.
   "Hope so," I replied.  "How'd you get so smart?" I asked "When did this
happen?"
   "I think it was when you were gone," Natalie teased.  "With you gone I
could finally be rid of your bad influence, you know."
   "Is that what happened?" I asked, turning the previously gentle hug into
a tickling frenzy, immediately causing Natalie to squirm away from me,
laughing all the while.
   I laughed and tried to catch her, but she was too quick and escaped to
her room.
   "Too fast for you!" she called out through her door.  I knocked to no
avail but she didn't answer, and I went away annoyed but strangely happy.
It had been a while since I'd had any fun, and if I could once again be
spontaneous and even a bit immature during the day, then perhaps I'd be
able to survive the nights.
   The nights were the most difficult for me, for a number of reasons. 
First was the fact that for the past few month, living with Heather, s my
sex life had been far more active than ever before and now it was as if I
had been cut off.  Cold turkey.  So I returned to the age-old tradition. 
Cold cream and an old towel.
   To my surprise, I found myself fantasizing about Heather, but not
Heather alone.  During my frequent masturbatory sessions, I allowed my
fantasies to run wild, imagining Heather with Stacey, Heather with Katie,
even Heather with Dr.  Bergerud.
   Shockingly, and after first pausing in my ministrations at the utter
depravity of it, I one night brought myself to a crushing orgasm at the
thought of myself in bed with my sister and Chris!  I rationalized this as
a subconscious thing on the part of my brain, an image brought about by
something I was forced to confront on an almost daily basis.
   You see, as the last month of summer progressed, it became more and more
difficult to avoid Natalie and Chris and their escapades around the house.
Our parents always take a two-week vacation right before September, and
this year was no exception.  Their trip this summer would take them on a
long, round-trip circuit visiting relatives I'd not seen in ages.  If not
for my disastrous trip to Europe and my pouting and grousing about it at
home, I may have been excited to go, but passed on the opportunity, as did
Natalie, who wanted to stay around town to be with Chris.
   Our parents reluctantly agreed with the idea of my sister and I staying
at the house alone.  Not because we weren't trusted, because they certainly
felt that we were old enough to fend for ourselves, but because the two of
us would be missing the opportunity to meet relatives and go places we'd
never had the chance to before.
   Their plans were to head to Ohio and Pennsylvania to visit my mother's
relatives, and then up into Maine and New Brunswick in Canada to visit my
uncle Charles, the biggest, baddest, blackest sheep on my father's side of
the family.  I had only met him once at a family reunion, fifteen years
earlier, an awkward attempt to "make nice" by the rest of his family, an
attempt that was by all accounts a miserable failure.
   What had happened was that his parents had cut most of their ties with
him when he was in his late teens.  Charles and his then-girlfriend had
become pregnant, much to their surprise and much to my grandparents' dismay
and embarrassment.  Both sets of parents were opposed to the young couple
bringing a child into the world, but the two teen professed their love
opted to become parents.
   All seemed well, aside for the distance Charles' parents put between
themselves and Charles.  He was in love and when the baby came, Charles was
supposedly the proudest papa anyone had ever seen.  Unfortunately, deciding
late that she was not ready to become a mother, Uncle Charles' girlfriend
had left him, leaving him to care for their son on his own.
   It was at this point that his family had a change of heart, taking
Charles back into the fold, so to speak, but a couple years later he packed
up everything and moved to Maine, and then finally to Canada, where he was
now married to Erin, a doctor he met at the small clinic in town, after a
serious injury to Alex, my cousin.  Charles and Erin, after years of trying
to mend fences, were finally back on speaking terms with the rest of his
family and this trip by my parents was their attempt to start the
reconciliation.
   So, my parents were glad for the chance to see relatives, that was
certain, but what that meant to me, and more importantly my sister Natalie,
was the two of us had the house all to ourselves for two weeks.  I have
been a teen in love, or lust as the case may be, and having that much time,
completely away from adult supervision, was nothing less than an invitation
to debauchery.
   And that was exactly what Natalie and Chris felt, as evidenced by the
number of times I walked in on them, in various states of undress and
arousal.
   The first time it happened, I was just coming back home from an
afternoon of shooting hoops at the park near the house.  I was hot and
sweaty, and aching from the activity and walked into the house fairly
intent on one thing - taking a long, steaming shower.  I failed to notice
Chris' car parked in front of the house but there was no getting past the
two of them once I entered the house.
   "Oh, God!" my sister screamed, right as I pushed open the front door. 
"You fuck me so good!"
   Startled, I whipped my head around and ogled at the sight in front of
me.
   Once again, just as they had been the first time I saw them nine months
before, my sister and her girlfriend were laid out on the couch, heavily
involved with pleasuring each other.  As opposed to that New Year's Eve, I
had managed to walk in on them much farther along in the action, so to
speak, and neither my sister nor Chris was wearing anything other than the
tiny pair of blue panties seemingly stuck around my sister's ankle.
   Ignoring the fact that one of the naked females was my sister, my cock
was instantly hard at the image I was presented with.  Natalie, her face
and chest flushed pink with arousal, lay spread-eagled on the couch, each
hand holding a smooth thigh as she spread herself as wide as possible.  Her
breathing was deep and heavy and the scream I had heard was no doubt the
result of the three fingers Chris was rapidly plunging in and out of my
sister's wet pussy.
   "You're so tight," I heard Chris marvel before she leaned down to take a
long swipe up and down the length of Natalie's slit.  "And damn tasty,
too!" she giggled.  My sister's only response was to jerk her hips up and
down erratically as the fingers and tongue of her girlfriend brought her
closer and closer to climax.
   "Harder, harder, harder," she chanted, rocking her hips and pelvis up
and down, slamming herself against Chris' chin.  Chris responded by
reaching up and grabbing a stiff, pink nipple between her fingers and
twisting roughly on the hard flesh.  Natalie stiffened, whether in ecstasy
or pain I couldn't tell, her mouth gaped open in an almost silent scream,
before a strange, high-pitched keening sound erupted from her throat.
   I watched, stunned and incredibly aroused, as my sister quivered
uncontrollably before literally flooding Chris' face as she erupted in
orgasm, a torrent of fluids bursting from her pussy as her climax shook
through her body.
   "Oh, God!" she squealed, thrusting up against Chris, who had brought a
hand down to my sister's still pulsing pussy, and was now gently thrusting
a finger in and out of the wetness.
   Not wanting to be seen and hoping my presence had not already been
noticed, I quietly backed out of the house, walking around the front yard
to my room where my window, thankfully on the ground floor, was open.
   I climbed into my room, quickly threw my clothes onto the floor and
flopped onto my bed.  My prick was as stiff and ready as I had been since
Heather and I had fought, and I wasted no time in taking advantage of my
pent-up passion.  I quickly found my rhythm and it wasn't more that thirty
seconds to a minute before I felt my own orgasm rush out of me and onto my
chest and stomach.
   I lay there, sweaty and satisfied, for a few minutes, trying to come to
terms with what I had just seen and what I had just done.  It didn't bother
me in the least that Natalie and Chris were doing what they did.  They were
involved, in love, and horny.  I couldn't blame them for that, although I
would have to find some way to caution them against being so obvious about
it, especially once our parents returned.
   What bothered me less than I would have thought was my reaction to
seeing my sister, yet again, sexually involved.  I would have expected my
reaction to be an immediate impulse to give Natalie the privacy she needed,
but instead found myself masturbating to the image of she and her
girlfriend locked together in a sexual frenzy.
   Did this make me depraved?  Some kind of pervert?  I figured it probably
did, but the rush I got from my orgasms when I imagined the two of them, or
the three of us, together doing nasty things together, more than made up
for any guilt I felt.  And I did feel some guilt as I put myself back
together.  I looked around my room for a moment.  Now that I was inside, I
realized I would more than likely have to get outside.
   If I stayed, I was going to have to explain my presence in the house,
since Natalie and Chris would undoubtedly realize I had not come in through
the front door and would probably quickly guess as to why I had felt the
need to sneak into my own home.  Deciding I'd rather not have that
confrontation play out, because I really did want to give them privacy, I
grabbed a clean shirt from my dresser and climbed out the same window I'd
recently climbed in.
   I waved at our next door neighbor, an elderly woman who no doubt
wondered what I was doing as I lowered myself out of my bedroom window onto
the grass, and jogged back to the park.  I waited there for another twenty
minutes before I saw Chris' car heading down our street.  After a few more
minutes I went back home, glad I had been able to pull off my little ruse.
Or so I thought.
   "I saw you walk in on us," were the first words out of my sister's mouth
when I walked in the house.  I'm sure my eyes bugged out and I found myself
at a loss for words.
   "I...  um..." was all I got out before Natalie waved off my attempts to
explain myself.
   "It's okay," she giggled.  "We should have gone somewhere else."
   "Yeah, like a hotel or something," I said, happy my sister didn't seem
too upset.  In fact, as I looked at her, she seemed more embarrassed by the
situation than I was.  Far from her words being confrontational, she seemed
almost as if she was trying to gauge my reaction to what I saw, and
appeared almost ready to apologize.
   "It's just...  when we get together...  wow!" Natalie exclaimed as she
remembered the recent experience.
   "I'll say," I said wryly.  "You seemed...  really into each other."
   At that, Natalie blushed brightly, squirming nervously on the couch.
   "Where did you go?" she asked.
   "I went back to the park," I answered quickly.  "Shot some more hoops."
   "Where's the basketball?" my sister asked, pointing to my empty hands.
She was right, after I had jerked off to the image of the two lovers, I had
left the ball in my room.
   "Um..." I said, flailing for words, but nothing came to me and I
shrugged helplessly.
   "Daniel?" she asked.  "What did you do?"
   Defeated, I sighed heavily as I slumped down into an easy chair.
   "I snuck back to my room, climbed in through the window and jacked off.
You happy?" I asked.  "You two were pretty damn hot and I couldn't help
myself."
   "Ooh!  Too much information," my sister exclaimed.  "I'm sure I didn't
need to know that!"
   "You asked," I said.
   "Still.  God!  Lie to me or something."
   "Sorry," I mumbled.  "I'm going to take a shower after all this," I
said. "A nice, cold shower."
   "Go, go!" my sister said, laughing as she pointed down the hallway.  I
turned to leave before she called after me, a strange look on her face. 
"Daniel?" she said shyly.
   "Yeah?" I asked, turning back to face her.
   "Did you really...  did you really think of us?" she asked quietly.  I
didn't know what answer she was looking for, finally deciding on the truth.
   "Yes.  You guys...  you guys were pretty damn hot," I said.
   "Did you think of Chris, or did you think of me, too?" she asked.  I
felt my blood turn cold as I tried to think of a way to answer her
question. Lie to her?  She'd said that would have been better initially,
but I felt that she was now looking for the truth of the matter.
   "Yes," I said.  "I couldn't take my eyes off you," I admitted.
   "Do you...  how come?" she asked.  "Do you want to do stuff with me?"
   "No!" I quickly answered, regretting the speed and harshness of my
response.  I lowered my voice, trying to take the sting out of my words,
although why I felt as though Natalie might have been offended that her
brother didn't want to have sex with her escaped me.  "I mean...  you
looked really good," I said, bringing a quick smile to her face.  "Damn
good.  Too good," I stammered.  "But I would never try anything with you.
Promise."
   I turned quickly to go, wanting nothing more than for this conversation
to be finished but still heard my sister's response, although I wasn't sure
how to take it.
   "Oh," she said quietly.  "Thanks."
   I escaped back to my room finally, closing the door behind me as I again
fell to the bed.  Why does my life have to be so complicated?  I wondered.
Even though I had just had one of the more powerful orgasms of my life, I
found with a surprise that my prick was once again trying to peek out of
the top of my shorts.  I considered another whack at it, so to speak, but
finally decided a nap was in order.  I was not surprised in the least, nor
did I find myself all that bothered when I woke up, to find that I had
dreamed of my sister.
   End Chapter Nine
  
Rose9