TAMMY

by Frank Downey

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Author’s note:

Earlier this summer I went into Boston with my two daughters. We took the subway into town.

On the way home, on the bus and subway with us, were two young people--I’m guessing about 17. They were clearly together, as they were rather all over one another--but in a cute and charming way. They were both cute, and looked very good together--but for some reason they almost seemed a wee bit mismatched. It was just a vague impression, mind you. They looked good together, but they looked different.

So, this story popped into my head.

The descriptions of Rob and Tammy come from those two I saw on the subway, and I put in a scene here on a subway and bus, which is also taken from the couple I saw. The rest, of course, is complete fiction.

But my thanks go to those two anonymous lovers, for inspiring this. 

-----------------

ONE

It was almost good to be going back to school. I missed my crew--I’d spent most of the summer at my Grandparents’ place in Bar Harbor, Maine. Now, here I was, back in Burnham, Massachusetts, about to begin my Junior year in High School.

My name is Rob, by the way--Rob Waterford. And I liked school because I pretty much ruled it. 

Hey--no brag, just fact. I was good-looking, a good student, charming, and I was rich. And rich is important in Burnham.

It was a divided town. We had the ‘other side of the tracks’. And then we had the ‘rich’ part of town. There was a hill on the west side--the closer you got to the hill, the richer it got. My family? We lived on top of the hill. I mean, I drove to school on this day in a brand new BMW--and I’d only had my license a couple of months. Yep, I was rolling in it.

Anyhow, I quickly caught up with the posse, swapping stories of the summer.

“Yep, I had a girl in Bar Harbor,” I told them. “We spent all summer together.”

“Two months? That’s long for you,” my best friend Corey said.

“Well, that’s OK when there’s a pre-defined end date. She lives in New York, so we knew this was just a summer thing. We swapped emails and stuff, but that’s different. She knows the score.” I grinned at them. “And she was an animal in bed.”

“Yeah, yeah,” my buddy Jake said. “Aren’t they all? But now you’re back here with the same-ol same-ol.”

“I’m sure I can find a cutie to amuse myself with,” I said.

“How? You’ve been to bed with every half-decent girl in the school.” Corey said. “Well, except for Jenna.”

I grinned at him. Jenna was his girlfriend. I might have few scruples about sex, but one of them was I never poach on a buddy. “You’re welcome to Jenna. You know I like her, but she’s way too clingy for me. Almost a year with the same girl? Not for me.”

“Same old song and dance,” Corey laughed. “But, you have to admit, you’re rapidly exhausting the supply.”

“What Rob needs is a challenge,” our other pal Dave said. “Someone he normally wouldn’t look at. You know, pick one of the hopeless wallflowers and see if you can get her to surrender the cherry. Let’s see how good you are when you’re not going after the Missy Crosier types--you know, the ones that spread their legs on command. You’re in a rut. You should challenge yourself.”

“Hmm. That’s an idea, innit?” I said. “I think that’s just what I’ll do.”

“That would kind of be lowering yourself,” Nick, another member of the posse, said. “Wouldn’t it?”

“Nah. Just spreading the love, that’s all. Why shouldn’t one of the wallflowers have the benefit of my talents?” They all laughed at that.

After that we had to go to class. The conversation resumed in the lunch room.

“So, you’re going to actually go for one of the nonentities?” John, another of my friends, asked.

“Why not? Could be fun.”

“Any ideas who?” Dave asked.

I looked around the room. I especially looked towards the corners of the room, where all the wallflowers sat. Then I saw her. Boy, wouldn’t that be a coup if I could get her into bed!

“Tammy Ishigawa,” I said.

I’ve never seen a table get so quiet that quickly!

“Are you nuts?” Corey asked.

“Why not? Don’t think I can get Tammy Ishigawa into bed?”

“Jeez, I dunno,” Corey said.

“Why would you want to?” Dave asked. “She’s a geek. And she’s a dog!”

“She sure is a geek,” I agreed, looking over at her: the thick almost granny-glasses, the unstylish clothes, the long unkempt black hair. “She’s no dog, though.”

“Huh?” Dave said.

“She’s cute. Those thick granny glasses hide it,” I said. “But she’s cute. I’ll be glad to get those glasses off. And everything else,” I smirked.

“To each his own,” Dave said, “but I surely would like to see if you can get her in bed. That’d be quite a coup!”

“Yep,” I agreed. “So, watch the master at work.” I got up from our table and sauntered over to the one where Tammy was eating, alone. I plopped down in front of her. “Hi, Tammy.”

She looked up, saw me, and almost gasped! I loved it! Boy, do I know how to make an entrance, or what? “Uh, uh, hi, Rob,” she said. 

“Listen, I was wondering. Are you busy Friday night?”

“Me? Uh, no, not this Friday. Why?” she said, clearly confused.

“Well, I was wondering if you might like to go out with me.”

“Me? Go out with you?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, uh, OK. Yes,” she said, still stammering and blushing.

“Great. I thought we could go to a movie.”

“OK.”

I got her address--in the crummy part of town, which I knew--and made plans to pick her up. I told her I’d see her later and left her to her blushing and stammering, and went back over to the boys. “Got a date with her Friday,” I said grinning.

“You da man,” Nick laughed.

TWO

I went to pick her up Friday night--she buzzed me up and I went to her apartment door. Man, she lived in the slums. Burnham’s slums were small, but we had ‘em. The apartment was well-kept, from what I saw from the doorway, but small. 

I meant what I’d said to my buddies--Tammy wasn’t a dog. She was cute. She just wasn’t what you’d call put-together. She had long black hair that tended to go every which-way, which was probably why she had part of it in a hairclip tonight. She never wore makeup that I saw, the best way to describe her clothes would be serviceable, and she had those glasses with the thick black frames. And she didn’t look any different when I went to pick her up. She was dressed a bit more nicely than she would’ve at school--chinos and a blue blouse--but nothing special. She didn’t go out of her way to gussy herself up, is what I’m saying.

But she was still cute. Especially when she smiled, which she did, widely, when she saw me at the door. Her whole nose wrinkled when she smiled. It also showed up in her eyes. Now, her eyes were almond-shaped--she was, I’d heard, half Japanese--but they got wider when she smiled. Like I said, very cute. I also liked her body. She was skinny, but not painfully thin or anything. And she was curvy where it counted--her boobs weren’t huge but they were definitely big enough, and she had an ass. Not J-Lo, mind you, but considering how skinny the rest of her was, the ass stood out. 

“Where are we going?” she asked as we got into my car. 

“I figured we’d go to a movie, then, if we’re hungry, we can hit Joe’s Roast Beef.”

“Cool. I love Joe’s. Which movie?”

I tossed her the movie section from the newspaper. “Here, you pick.”

“OK,” she said happily.

She picked a chick flick. Yeah, I know, big surprise, eh? I actually didn’t mind most of them. I almost always let the girl pick the movie, unless there was something I really wanted to see and she agreed. Other than that, I let them pick. It meant I saw a lot of chick flicks. Most of them, actually, I liked: that’s my one hidden weenie moment, that I liked romantic comedies. And it was genuine--although I’ll admit that I liked them best if the ‘comedy’ part was at least as important as the ‘romantic’ part. But I did like most of them. Of course, there was a hidden bonus--you have no idea what a boost it is when you take a girl to a chick flick, and watch it well enough so that you can discuss it with them afterwards. I swear, just that makes half of them get wet right then and there. It’s the greatest seduction technique known to man. I tell all my buddies this--half of them just don’t get it. Which is why they’re constantly forcing their dates to see X-Men Twelve and get a peck on the cheek afterwards, whereas I am sitting in When Harry Met Sally In Seattle--and enjoying it--and scoring afterwards.

So, Tammy picked a chick flick. I liked it. She liked it. We went to the roast beef place afterwards--and, yes, like usual, she was surprised I liked it. We discussed it a bit. 

Now, understand, I didn’t have any illusions. I’d bragged I could get Tammy into bed--but did you notice I didn’t set any time limits on this? No, I was not trying to get her to spread her legs tonight. I knew that wasn’t gonna happen. As far as I knew, this was her first date. Nope, this was going to be a slow seduction.

So, we discussed the film, and I felt her warming up a bit anyway, which was tonight’s goal. So, then, she blurted out something that must’ve been on her mind all week. “So, why the hell did you ask me out?”

I told her a half-truth. “I dunno, really. I was sitting in the lunch room, looking around, and I saw you--and just decided I wanted to ask you out.” She lit up at that. And, really, it was true as far as it went. I was looking for a wallflower, yes, but I couldn’t really explain why I picked her in particular. So it was partially true.

“You’ve got a great smile,” I told her, sincerely. She smiled even wider at that. “You’re face is very exotic. What are you, Japanese?”

“Half-Japanese,” she told me, confirming what I thought I’d heard. “Mom’s Japanese. My father isn’t. White, that I know, but I don’t know much else. I’ve never met him,” she told me.

“Really?” I said.

“My mom was 17 when she got pregnant. My father took off. And my grandparents were less than thrilled, because they’re very traditional old-school Japanese and children out of wedlock are a complete scandal. They didn’t completely abandon us, but close.” 

“That sucks. Your father’s never tried to contact you?”

“Nope. No money, ever, either. Don’t get me wrong, Mom and I are fine. We make do. She’s had to work awfully hard though. Being a waitress is hard work.”

“Oh, is that your Mom that works at the Burnham Diner?” I knew there was an Asian woman that worked there. 

“Yeah. I do too, now, a couple nights a week. I do want to go to college and every little bit helps. In fact, I usually work on Fridays, but one of the other girls wanted tomorrow off so I switched.”

“Ah. So you usually don’t work Saturdays?”

“Nope,” she told me. I kept that in mind for later. Then I noticed that she was really putting away her roast beef sandwich. I actually liked that--a girl who can eat. It’s fun and rare from my experience.

But, I had to ask her. “Where do you put it all?”

She looked down at what was left of her sandwich and laughed. “That’s a good question. I eat like a pig, and don’t gain weight.”

“Lucky you.”

“Oh, you think so, huh? I hate it! I’m as skinny as a rail. I wish I could gain weight. At least then I’d have b---.” At that, she stopped herself, and blushed bright purple.

I knew what she was going to say, and I couldn’t resist. “Oh, don’t worry about it, Tammy. You definitely have b. In fact, I’d guess that’s just what they are--about a B.” 

She looked at me for a second, still blushing, and then exploded into laughter. I breathed a sigh of relief--like I said, I couldn’t resist, but I was afraid I’d offended her. Apparently not. 

She recovered enough to grin and say, “Good call. 32B to be exact.” 

“What’s wrong with that?” I asked pleasantly.

“Well, there’s nothing wrong with it. It’s like baseball. There’s nothing wrong with Bill Mueller, but wouldn’t you rather be David Ortiz?”

I started laughing again. “So, if Bill Mueller is a 32B, than Ortiz is?”

“38 double-D,” she said, still giggling. 

“I get it,” I grinned. “You’re a Red Sox fan?”

“Of course I am. I’m Japanese-American. Which means baseball’s in my blood, twice. And I’m from Massachusetts, so I’m a Sox fan.” Her eyes twinkled. “Though there’s a soft spot in my heart for the Seattle Mariners.”

“Ichiro,” I said, referring to the Mariners’ superstar Japanese right fielder. 

“Right on. I loved it when Hideo Nomo was here a few years back. Him pitching that no-hitter for the Sox was my greatest baseball memory until we won it all last year.”

“We had a party at my house,” I told her, “for the fourth game of the Series. It was nuts. We had such a blast, hollering and screaming, after they won.”

“That sounds like fun,” she said. “I was actually working.”

“Oh, that must have sucked.”

“It didn’t, actually. There weren’t many people there, and the ones that were were some of the regulars,” she said. “So it was almost like a party. Nobody ordered anything for the last four innings or so, except for the odd coffee refill--so we just watched.” She grinned at me. “I ended up watching the ninth inning on Mr. Dupont’s lap.”

“Isn’t that the guy who owns the diner?”

“Yeah.”

“He’s what, 80?”

“65,” she giggled. “So, yeah, I watched the ninth inning sitting on his lap like a little kid. It was fun. Mr. Dupont’s the closest thing I’ve ever had to a father. My mother’s worked there since I was a toddler, so I grew up with him. He’s such a sweetheart--his wife is, too. In fact, he probably had a lot to do with getting me into baseball. Heck, he’s also the one that got me into science fiction novels--he bought me my first Heinlein when I was, like, 10.”

I positively goggled. “You like sci-fi?”

“Love it. I have quite the collection. What’s the matter, you never met a girl who liked sci-fi before?”

“No!”

She waggled a french-fry at me, that twinkle in her eye again. “You have been dating silly girls.”

“I think you’re right.”

“Well, now we’re even,” she said. “You’re the first guy that I ever met that liked romantic movies.”

“There you go.” 

We discussed sci-fi for a good long time. She really did like it, as much as I did. Not only had I never met a girl who liked sci-fi, I don’t think I’d met anyone at all that liked it as much as I did. Suddenly, in the middle of this, I said, “God, you’re fun.”

“You sound surprised.”

“I think I am. I dunno, I guess I expected you to be shy.”

“I’m not all that shy. Besides which, you are also fun, which helps. Why did you think I’d be so shy?”

“Because I always see you alone. Like, at lunch. You always eat lunch alone.”

“Ah,” she said. “I’ll admit, I only have a few friends. The ones I have I’m very close with, but I don’t hang around with a gang or anything. It’s not shyness, though, it’s just that a lot of people look down on me.” I felt my cheeks burn a little at that, because I’d been one of those people. She went on. “And I’m not the type of person that cares, you know? If you look down on me, that’s your problem, not mine. I stick with my close friends and don’t care about the rest of ‘em.

“As for lunch, think about it. I’m an A student. That takes work. I also work three nights a week, and some Sunday afternoons, at the diner. So, I eat lunch alone because, when the hell else do I have time to read sci-fi?” 

“I see your point!”

We chatted more, and then I suddenly got a glimpse of the clock hanging on the wall. “Er, Tammy, do you have a curfew?”

“Yeah, 11:00. Is it getting close to that?”

“Well, uh, it’s 11:30.”

“Oh, shit!” she said. We gathered up our trash and dashed to my car. You’ve never seen two people move that fast. Luckily, she didn’t live far from the roast beef place. 

“Are you going to be in trouble?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I’ve never been late before,” she said worriedly. 

“I can’t believe we sat there talking for three hours.” 

“I know,” she said, looking over at me with a smile. “I haven’t had this much fun in ages.”

“Me, either,” I said, and meant it. 

We got to her apartment building, and she flew out of my car, hair flying everywhere, her pocketbook slamming into her hip as it hung off her shoulder. Jeez, the girl should run track. But I wanted her to slow down--I wanted her phone number. I also wanted to ask her if she needed me to go up to help explain things to her mother. But the way she was moving, I wasn’t going to catch up to her.

Luckily, I didn’t have to. She got into the front door of her building, and pushed a button--the building had one of those intercom-buzzer thingies. As I approached the door, I heard her say, “Mom, it’s me. I’m sorry. Just give me a minute, OK?” Then she turned back to me as I caught up to her. “I can’t stay out here long, but I wanted you to know I had a great time.”

“Me, too, and I’d love to do it again.”

“Definitely. Remember, though, that usually Saturdays are better.”

“Got it. Could I have your phone number?” I pulled out my cel. “I’ll put it right in here.” She was happy to give it to me. 

The funny thing was, I wanted to kiss her. And I didn’t know if I should. Jesus, on any other date, I’d be doing a whole lot more than kissing and I wouldn’t be hesitating about it! But, with Tammy, I didn’t know how she’d react. 

So, I asked. “Tammy, may I kiss you goodnight?”

“I’d like that,” she said softly. So I did. And it was a great kiss. We ended up lip-locked for a good minute, her arms up around my neck, mine on her waist. When we broke the kiss, I did it reluctantly. I think she did, too. “Thanks. This was wonderful,” she said. “But I need to get up there before I’m grounded for a month.”

“You need me to come up and help?”

“Nah. I can handle it.” 

“Go, then,” I said. “You can’t get grounded, I want to take you out again next weekend.”

“Good!”

It was driving home that it really hit me. 

Look, the reason I can get girls in bed--besides the whole rich and handsome thing--is that girls can be seduced, and I’m good at it. It works most of the time. Yeah, I know, the rich and handsome thing doesn’t hurt making the seduction work. Especially the handsome thing. I’m tall, blonde, blue-eyed, gorgeous, and I have a good body--your basic All-American stud. I knew that helped.  But I can get it to work. Things you say, motions you make with your eyes--it works. 

It wasn’t until I got back in the car that I realized I hadn’t even tried any of them. Yeah, the movie--but that was just letting her pick the movie. And knowing what I now knew I was surprised she hadn’t picked War Of The Worlds or something! But all my other tricks, I didn’t even try them. Didn’t even think of trying them. As I said, I knew I wasn’t getting Tammy into bed tonight, but I’d planned on at least laying some groundwork. And, when we got talking, it immediately went right out of my mind.

I tried to remember the last date I went on where sex wasn’t the uppermost thought in my mind. The answer was exactly never.

THREE

I called her the next day, right around noontime. “Did you get in trouble?”

“Nah,” she said. “Mom just wanted to know what happened. She accepted it.”

“Did you get the third degree?”

“Not too bad. When I told her you were a sci-fi buff, she understood why we’d end up talking for three hours and lose track of time!”

I had to laugh at that. “That’s good. I thought she might be a bit overprotective.”

“Oh, because of what happened to her,” Tammy said, knowing what I meant.

“Yeah. I have a second cousin who’s about our age. Her mother, my dad’s cousin, got pregnant in high school. And this girl, the one our age, is practically locked in the house. Late coming home from a date, I thought you might get that kind of thing.”

“Yeah,” Tammy said. “My mother’s not like that. She has other methods.”

“Other methods?”

Tammy giggled again. I was getting to like hearing that. “Oh, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten The Birth Control Speech. I think it’s in the thousands.”

“Ah,” I said, chuckling along with her. “I’ve gotten that one many, many times myself.”

“Uh-huh. She actually put me on the pill on my sixteenth birthday. It didn’t matter how many times I told her I wasn’t even dating! Didn’t matter. I was going on it.” 

“Well, you’re dating now.”

I think I heard the big gulp. “Well, yeah, I guess I am, aren’t I?”

Whoops. Spooked her, and I didn’t mean to. Time to change the subject. “So, speaking of dating, I take it that you’re back to your regular schedule next weekend and you’re free on Saturday.”

“Yes. Does this mean I should be keeping Saturday night open for you?”

“Yes, it does.”

“Good!”

After I hung up the phone, I stared at it in disbelief for a minute. I spooked her about sex and I CHANGED the SUBJECT?!?!?!? What the fuck was WRONG with me?

Slow seduction, I told myself. You knew this. That’s why you don’t want to spook her. Take your time, and all that.

FOUR

That was something I had to convince the guys about as well. Taking my time, I mean. Nick wasted no time in asking me if I’d gotten in Tammy’s pants.

“Are you kidding? I never said I’d do her on the first date! She’s way too inexperienced for that. It’s going to take me some time.” 

“How much time you gonna waste on this chick?” Jake asked.

“As long as it takes,” I said. That’s when I had the thought pop into my head: funny, but I hope it takes a while. And I won’t be wasting my time.

I didn’t tell the guys that, of course. Do I look like I go looking for trouble?

It was funny, though--of course, I saw her in school. She was even in one of my classes. And she smiled at me, and said hi when she saw me walk by--and that was it. Quite honestly, that was unusual--and very cool. That’s the way I saw it--it was an excellent first date, we have another one, we’ll see what happens. Most high school girls don’t act that way, or at least didn’t with me. You take them out on one date and they follow you around like a dog staking out its territory. Even the ones that I didn’t screw on the first date. 

Tammy wasn’t like that. I got big smiles and a hello, but that was it. I gave her the same. Until Wednesday. I was eating with the guys, and she came over. I wondered what was up, until she came over to me and handed me a book. “This is the one I was telling you about Saturday night.” It was an Anne McCaffrey I hadn’t read yet that she really liked. “Just don’t ruin it, I want it back!”

“Wouldn’t think of it,” I grinned at her. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” she said, and sauntered off. 

“What’s that? Science fiction?” Jake asked.

“Yeah.”

“Boy, she really is a geek, isn’t she?” he snickered.

“Hey, he’s the biggest sci-fi geek I know,” Corey said, pointing to me. 

“It’s true,” I shrugged. Jake just looked at me. 

Walking away from the lunchroom, Corey looked at me. “Now I know why you didn’t try to take her to bed. You actually found a girl to discuss that stuff with you. You must’ve been talking for hours.”

“You’re right,” I grinned. “We actually missed her curfew because we got so caught up talking.” Corey just gave me a funny look, and then peeled off to his class. 

FIVE

We went out Saturday night. I asked her if she’d ever gone miniature golfing. She said no, but that she was game. So, we went.

It was a blast. She wasn’t good at all, but kept laughing about it. We had a good time. Instead of Joe’s Roast Beef, we ended up getting an ice cream and walking through a park in the center of Burnham. We sat ourselves on a bench and ate our ice cream, chatting. At least that night I got her home in time!

The next weekend was more of the same. We went out for Chinese food, then hit another movie. This time it was a sci-fi thriller. Not the first time I ever took a girl to a movie like that, but the first time she ever enjoyed it as much as I did!

It was the next weekend that I kind of got a slap in the face.

It wasn’t on a Saturday, it was on a Friday. So, I wasn’t with Tammy, as she was working. Me and the gang were at a party. A typical wild teenaged party--parents not home, drinking, the whole bit. I wasn’t much of a drinker, actually--I’d nurse a beer or two but that’s it. I didn’t like feeling fuzzy, to be honest. Of course, watching the girls get drunk had always been fun. Especially when they were throwing themselves at me. I was just enough of a decent person not to screw a girl who was completely wasted--but screw a girl who was a bit tipsy? Yep, that I’d do. Corey, before he hooked up with Jenna and was as much of a tomcat as I was, once said he had a rule: “Sometimes a girl has one or two and they’re feeling good and they might throw caution to the wind a little bit, but they have to be sober enough to say yes and mean it.” I agreed with that. In fact, the few times in my life I’ve ever turned down sex it was because the girl was too wasted to really know what she was doing when she threw herself at me. Not my style. I liked willing girls, thank you very much. To be honest--the more willing, the better. Girls enthusiastic about sex--well, I found that a huge turn-on. If they were really drunk, you never knew how willing they truly were. Not for me. 

But, even if you stayed away from the really drunk ones, there was plenty to find at a party. Even the girls that weren’t drinking, often they got caught up in the ‘atmosphere’. And, at this particular party, my charm didn’t fail me. I had a really stunning one hanging all over me almost instantaneously. And it was one I hadn’t been with before--she was a sophomore, a year behind me. She was fine, though, and wasn’t drunk--she was nursing a beer as I was. And she seemed very willing to be seduced. All I’d have to do is turn on the patented Waterford charm.

And I didn’t.

She wasn’t drunk--and I turned her down anyway.

It wasn’t conscience. I had made no commitments at all to Tammy, or her to me--and, besides which, when it comes to sex I don’t have much of a conscience. Nope, it wasn’t that fucking this cute sophomore was something that I thought I shouldn’t do. 

It was that I didn’t want to.

Luckily, that hit me before I led her on, which would’ve been bad. 

I apologized and told her that I wasn’t feeling well. She made the appropriate sympathetic noises, and said she hoped she’d see me some other time. I found the gang, and told them the same thing--I was feeling sick and was going to go home. 

Thing is, I’m not sure how much of that feeling sick thing I was making up.

I got in my car, dazed. I’d just turned down the distinct possibility of sex with a complete babe--because I’d gone on three dates with a geeky wallflower with granny glasses.

If I wasn’t physically sick, I was surely insane.

I didn’t want to go home. I drove around a bit, trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me. 

And I found myself, after driving, pulling into the parking spaces alongside the Burnham Diner.

There were two waitresses in there. The diner had booths, and a sort of counter area. Tammy was working the counter, so that’s where I sat. She was helping another guy down the counter, then she looked up and saw me.

“Hey!” she said, walking down the length of the counter. “I thought you were going to a party tonight.”

“You did?”

“Yeah, I heard some people talking about it, some of the ones you hang out with, so I figured you were going.”

She figured I was going, though I hadn’t told her--and she wasn’t upset. Amazing. “I did go, but I guess I just wasn’t in the mood. Uh, is it OK that I’m here?”

“Sure,” she said. “You just have to order something. Even if it’s just something to drink. You know, for appearances.”

God, thirty seconds with her and my mood was already improving. “I’ll have a coffee.”

“Sure, but you’ll be up all night.”

I probably will be anyway, I thought. What I said was, “It’ll take a number of cups to do that. Caffeine doesn’t affect me all that much.”

“Cream and sugar?”

“Lots of each,” I laughed.

She brought it over, then went back to check on her other customer. She came back to me after a couple of minutes.

“So,” she said, “what activity do you have planned for me tomorrow that I suck at? We’ve already done mini golf. I figure bowling’s next. I can’t bowl to save my life.”

“Nah, that’s too tame,” I teased. “I’m waiting until the snow hits and I can take you skiing.”

“Oh, jeez! I can see the headline now. Klutz On Skis Hits Tree. Film at eleven.” 

“That’s why they have a bunny hill, dear.”

“Uh-huh.”

“As for tomorrow, are you busy tomorrow afternoon?”

“Nope.”

“Good. Let’s make a day of it. I’ll pick you up at noon, and we’ll go into Boston. Walk around, go to Fanueil Hall, do some shopping.”

“Oooh, that’s a great idea!”

SIX

I stayed there until she got off. She only lived a couple blocks from the diner, so she usually just walked home--I walked with her that night. 

When I got home, I was confused, to say the least. And I was right--I didn’t sleep very well, and it wasn’t the coffee. I just didn’t know what to do with myself.

I got up late but made it to Tammy’s by noon. We drove about a half hour to the nearest subway station to ride into Boston--that’s easier than driving. Turns out, there was a problem with the subway for the first five or six stops--they had it closed for upgrades or something. So, they provided shuttle busses. We’d take that in to a stop closer to Boston, then ride the subway in the rest of the way.

We got off the subway at Park Street, right on Boston Common. We were saving an actual big meal for later, when we made our way to Quincy Market, but we grabbed a couple of hot dogs from a vendor on the Common. We sat and ate, then we went walking.

It was a great day, especially for early fall. We walked all throughout the Common. Then we headed to the shops on Washington St. After a while, we headed to Fanueil Hall and Quincy Market, to get some food.

It was great. We just had a blast. We really could talk about anything. Wandering around Boston, holding hands, we did just that. At one point, I got a glimpse of us, reflected in the mirrors in one of the shops. We were holding hands and laughing. I actually liked the way we looked together. Her half-Japanese exoticism set off my blonde blue-eyed All-American thing. And she was tall, only a few inches shorter than I was. I saw us in the mirror and thought, “This looks right.” 

And then, about 7 or so, we got back on the subway headed back towards home. And that subway and bus ride, really, was when everything changed.

We’d done nothing more than kiss. I put my arm around her at the movies the previous week. That had been pretty much it for physical contact. I was trying not to spook her--and, like I said, I kept forgetting to try seducing her. 

But we got on the subway, and we were practically wrapped around each other. We were clinging to one another and we kept kissing. We were also laughing and giggling, and not about much. 

When we got to the end of where the subway ran, we had to go outside to wait for a bus. There was a wall there. I sat on the wall, off to the side, and Tammy sat on my lap. 

It just happened. It was so natural. She was on my lap, and my arms were around her waist. She kept looking back for a kiss. And I couldn’t wipe the goofy smile off my face. We got on the bus and were still joined at the hip. We got off the bus and walked back to my car with our arms around each other.

When we got back to the car, it was still only 8 o’clock.

“It’s still early. I don’t want to go home,” she said.

“Neither do I. What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know. What do you want to do?”

I thought for a minute. How the hell did I put this without scaring her? “Well, I was thinking...and only if you’re OK with it...well, I could drive to a place where we could be alone.” There. I said it. 

“You mean, go parking,” she said.

“Yeah,” I admitted.

“OK,” she said softly. “I’d like that.” 

I wonder if she noticed the big sigh of relief!

No, I wasn’t intending to take her parking to have sex. Well, not to go all the way, I mean. I wanted to fool around, but I knew if I tried to fuck her I would scare her off. It was just that I had enjoyed being close to her all day and I wanted to get just a little closer.

Which is why I had no problem with what she said after we got to the spot and climbed into the back seat. “Look, Rob, I want to be here with you. But I’m not ready to, you know...”

“I know,” I said. “That’s fine with me.” And it was.

Much to my amazement.

We made out. We started kissing. After a couple minutes, she giggled, whipped her glasses off, tucked them in her purse, then we went back to kissing. We were sprawled out all over my back seat.

While we were necking, I let my hand, which had been on her waist, move up to lightly cup her breast. I was prepared to remove it if I felt any resistance. I didn’t--in fact, she moaned into my mouth and pressed her boob into my hand. 

After a couple minutes, she pulled away. She looked at me, hard, right into my eyes, the most serious expression on her face that I’d ever seen. Then I realized what she was doing.

She was unbuttoning her blouse.

 All right, I figured if I wanted to do that, I’d have to be the one that was doing it. And I figured I might be getting resistance. Her pulling back and doing it herself surprised the hell out of me.

And the way she did it! She never said a word, and never stopped staring right into my eyes, her breath coming out in ragged little puffs. She got her blouse undone, and shrugged it off. Then she reached for the front hook on her bra.

I still hadn’t looked down. I was looking right back at her. Because I could read the expression in her face like it was painted on a fucking sign: “Please don’t reject me.” She never said it. But I heard it. 

Reject her? I couldn’t make a fucking fist. 

I looked down. I didn’t want her to think I wasn’t looking--she was waiting for me to look. But I didn’t really care about looking. I wanted to taste.

So I did. That took her by surprise, big-time! I felt her shudder as my tongue wrapped around her very erect nipple. I did this for a while, switching from one to the other, my hand on the one my tongue wasn’t, as her breathing got progressively more ragged. 

Then I came up for air, my hand still on one of her boobs. And she devoured me. She had her tongue down my throat before I even knew it, her boob pressing into my hand. I was sitting facing her, half-kneeling on one knee with the other one draped down over the seat of the car. She was kneeling, straddling my bent leg, grinding on it as she kissed my wits right out of me. 

I’d had three-hour fucking sessions that weren’t anywhere near this intense!

Probably too intense. Tammy was perilously close to loosing control. And I wasn’t much better--I might be more experienced, but not like this. I was holding onto my control by a thread. But holding onto it I was. I didn’t want to hurt her, and I didn’t want to do anything she’d regret in the morning--but I didn’t want this to end.

While I was still mulling that over--well, I couldn’t believe what happened. Tammy broke the kiss, and pulled my head back down to her boob. I happily obliged. It was kind of awkward, because she was still straddling my leg, but that was OK. So, I was sucking away at her boobs while she humped herself--fully clothed in that area, mind you--on my leg.

Then it happened. She grabbed my hair and pulled, her body stiffened--except for her hips grinding into my thigh--and she yelped. Loud. And then she let go of my hair and her whole body slumped, her nipple slipping out of my mouth.

I couldn’t have read that right. No way. Because it looked like she came. From that?

She was completely relaxed now, leaning up against me, her arms around my waist, her head up against my chest, spread out on the seat.

“Tammy?” I said. I had to ask.

“Hm?”

“Did you just have an orgasm?”

“Oh, yeahhh,” she purred.

“How the hell?” I said.

She let out a sleepy little giggle. “Well, you know, they might not be David Ortiz but they’re very sensitive. And when I climbed on top of your leg--well, these pants are kind of tight and I guess I hit it just right.” She took a deep breath. “Wow, that was fun!”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” I said.

She gave me a little look. “Do you want to do more?” she asked.

“Do you?”

“Yes and no. I do but it scares me.”

“Well, then we’ll wait.”

She looked at me like she wanted to say something, but all she said was, “Thanks.”

We ended up snuggled together in the back seat. The funny thing was she hadn’t put her shirt back on! So we were snuggling and talking, and kissing in between talking, and most of the time I was lightly stroking a naked boob. 

It was weird. It was like I had changed into a different person. And I knew why, dammit. I think I’d known for a while now. But it was only after I’d dropped her off--after an absolutely searing good-bye kiss--and was driving home that I admitted to myself.

Somehow, I’d fallen head-over-heels in love with Tammy Ishigawa.

SEVEN

First of all, the idea of me in love with anyone was preposterous. I don’t fall in love. Love is for fools. I swore, a long time ago, that I wasn’t going to get sucked into that trap. 

But it seems I had. And not only did I do something that I swore I’d never do, I did it with the most unlikely person I could’ve ever picked. 

And I didn’t know what to do about it. I mean, how the hell was I going to explain this to the guys when I couldn’t even explain it to myself? And I didn’t know what to say to Tammy, either. Jeez, what a mess. 

Anyhow, the next day, she had to work the lunch shift. I went over to the diner and got lunch, then we took a walk after she ended her shift. We ended up back in the park, on a bench, sipping cokes and talking. She had thought a lot about what had happened the previous night. “I was stunned. You know, that’s the first orgasm I’ve ever had that I didn’t give myself!”

“I figured,” I laughed.

“You know, I kinda figured I wouldn’t have an orgasm with you at least until my pants were off!”

We joked a bit, and then she got serious. “Rob, do you want to sleep with me?”

Honesty is the best policy, right? “Well, of course I do,” I said.

“Of course you do,” she echoed. “Then again, most boys will sleep with any willing girl,” she said, though with a little chuckle.

“I used to be that way,” I admitted.

“Yeah, right,” she laughed.

“If I was still that way, I wouldn’t have come in the diner Friday night,” I admitted almost without thinking.

“Huh?”

“There was this girl there. At the party I was at, I mean. A really gorgeous sophomore. And she was basically crawling up my ass. All I would’ve had to do was turn on the charm a little and I would’ve been getting laid. Instead, I left.”

“Why?”

“Why? You, silly.”

“I haven’t asked you not to see other girls,” she said.

“You didn’t have to. I was sitting there, this girl all over me, and I just said to myself, I don’t want to do this.” I laughed, but it was a bit strained. “First time I ever did that, I guarantee you.”

“Wow. So you want me, though?”

“I do.”

“Why? I mean, why me and not anyone else?”

“Because you’re the most passionate, the most fun, the most interesting girl I’ve ever gone out with. Because I’m crazy about you.” 

“Wow,” she said, and took a deep breath. “OK, then. I’ll tell you what I think. Look, I’m no prude. I play with myself incessantly,” she said with a little smirk.

“Ah. How very male of you,” I smirked back.

She let out a stream of those charming giggles. “You think girls don’t do that? Boy are you wrong. Anyhow, I’m no prude. I think it’s safe to say that the only reason I’m still a virgin is lack of opportunity. I always figured sex, with the right guy, would be fun.” She looked at me. “You’re the right guy. I am going to sleep with you.”

I just stared at her, not sure what to say, because I didn’t think she was finished. I was right. “I think I found out last night. When you took me home, I knew--you were going to get my virginity. It’s going to happen.

“But I’m going to ask you a favor.”

“Anything,” I said, a little dry-mouthed.

“I want to go slow. Look, I’ve never done anything. I had my shirt off yesterday. There’s a lot between that and the big event, you get what I mean? I want that. I want all of it.”

“You got it,” I promised.

“Look, I know you’re not a virgin. Probably far from it.”

“True,” I admitted. “Tammy, I’m not going to lie to you. There’s been a lot.”

“I figured as much.” She smiled to me. “Look, it’s not that I care. What you did before is your own business, and it doesn’t bother me in a jealous kind of way. But I think you’ve been kind of casual about it.”

“Yeah,” I agreed.

“I’m not.”

“I know you’re not,” I said. “And I do not consider it casual with you. Look--you admitted to me that you play with yourself a lot.” She giggled and nodded. “It probably comes as no suprise to you that I do the same.”

“Of course you do,” she grinned.

“Right.” I took a breath. “Do you know how long it took me last night after I got home? About a second and a half.”

“Wow,” she breathed. “I kind of left you hanging last night, didn’t I?”

“I didn’t mind, Tammy. I understand why you want to go slow. That’s not why I told you that. Look, I usually can’t get off that quick by having actual sex. When I got home last night I was so turned on I was beside myself. That was the most intense physical experience I’ve ever had, and my pants didn’t even come off.”

“Wow,” she said again.

“As I said, there’s been a lot. And I won’t lie to you--it was fun. But nothing like that, what happened last night.” I took a breath. “Tammy, I think I’ve been waiting for you for a long time.”

“That’s the most beautiful thing anyone’s ever said to me.” We just looked at each other, smiling, for quite a while. Then she kind of slumped into my arms.

“I want what you want,” I promised her. “However long it takes. And I promise you’ll enjoy it.”

“I know I will,” she said. 

EIGHT

It took about a month. And we both definitely enjoyed it! 

The worst part of that month had nothing to do with Tammy. Nope, it had to do with my endless quest to play both sides against the middle. 

Because I was hearing it from the guys.

“Where were you Saturday?” Corey asked me. “I tried to call.”

“Went into Boston.”

“By yourself?”

“No. With Tammy.”

Jake looked at me. “You’re still wasting your time with that chick? Why don’t you  just nail her and get it over with?”

“I know,” Nick said. “You jump out of a party because you’re sick, but you spend the whole next day with her?”

“Let me handle it, I know what I’m doing,” I said.

Problem is, I didn’t. I didn’t know what to do with the fact that I had fallen in love with a girl my friends just were not going to accept. I felt at war with myself.

When I was with Tammy, the world was good. When I wasn’t, I just had questions.

But I had to find a solution, and I had to find it fast. Because I was hooked. I was in love with her before our relationship started getting physical. Now? Hooked, completely hooked. 

Look, I liked sex. But this? This was something else. 

We did it just the way she asked--step by step. The next time we were together, her pants came off and I used my hands on her. The time after that, my pants came off.  Then, I introduced her to oral. I’d always liked going down on a girl--with her, it was completely astounding. When I got done, she looked at me and said, “I thought the top of my skull was going to blow completely off!” And she gave me a blowjob like she was an expert. She even swallowed--which shocked the shit out of me! Yes, I warned her. She just kept at it until I blasted her tonsils. Then she looked up at me with her little Cheshire Cat grin on her face! 

So, as I said, all this took about a month. It was a Saturday, a couple days before Halloween. We’d been together two months total. We went out to eat, and over the food, she said, “What are we going to do afterwards?”

“Whatever you want,” I told her.

“Well, that’s the thing. I think we’ve covered all the steps.” 

“Well, all the ones I know about anyway,” I laughed. “Of course, if you want to re-cover them, I have no objections. I love those little noises you make when I go down on you.” She laughed, blushing bright pink. “But, the thing is--if you want your first time to be in a bed instead of in a car, my parents are gone for the weekend.”

She blinked. “Are you done eating?” she said.

“Yep.”

“Get the check,” she said. “Now.” I laughed and flagged down the waiter.

We drove to my house. We didn’t say much, but Tammy was obviously excited. When we pulled up the hill in my driveway, and she got a look at the house, she gasped.

“My God,” she hissed, “this is your house? I think you could fit my whole apartment in your garage!”

For the first time in my life, I felt vaguely uneasy with being wealthy. “Ain’t my house, it’s my parents.”

“Well, yeah, but you live here, too, right?” she laughed. “I knew you had money, but jeez!”

I led her in the front door. Look, the house is pretty impressive once you get inside. There’s this big huge entrance hall with a huge staircase and all. Tammy’s eyes bugged right out of her head. “I’ve never seen anything like this in my life!” 

“It’s just a house.”

“Yeah, right,” she snorted. “You know, I took note of the fact that you drove a brand new BMW. But I guess it just didn’t click until I saw this place. How in hell is it that you’re not a complete snob?”

“I am,” I told her. 

“Right.”

“Really,” I said, leading her up the stairs. “Or, well, I used to be. I still am somewhat. Being around you has changed the way I think about a lot of things, and that’s the truth.”

She just smiled at me. I took her hand and led her up the rest of the stairs, then down the hall to my room.

OK, yeah, my room is huge. And it’s got all kinds of shit in it--computer, entertainment center, the whole works. And the bed is impressive, a big gorgeous king-sized thing. Tammy gasped softly, then let out a delighted squeal, as she kicked her shoes off, ran past me, and vaulted onto the bed. She ended up lying there on her back, her hands up behind her head. She looked up at me and said, “Oh, this is perfect!”

“I thought you’d like it,” I grinned. I got myself on the bed, next to her, and took her in my arms and kissed her. “You’re the first girl I’ve ever brought up here,” I told her.

“Really?”

“Really.” It was the truth. I’d brought girls to the house before, yes. I’d even fucked girls in the house. Downstairs, or in one of the guest rooms. But never in my room. My bedroom was my space. I went there to be alone. I didn’t bring girls there.

Until now.

Tammy reached for the back of my head and pulled me toward her, her lips meeting mine. We held the kiss for a good long while, our tongues exploring. In the middle, I reached for the buttons on her blouse, and undid them. I then unsnapped her bra--another front snap, which was cool. I didn’t even take her blouse or bra off--just pushed them to the side, as my hand went for her boob.

I fondled it as we kissed. Then I broke the kiss and made my way to her earlobe. I nibbled on that for a minute--getting a nice sigh and a giggle--then started my way down her neck. I knew where I was headed, and so did she. When my mouth made contact with her nipple, she let out a soft groan.

As I sucked on her nipple, I let my hand sweep up her thighs. She was wearing a skirt, which was handy. I brought my hand up in between her thighs, under her skirt, and started lazily stroking my finger up and down the front of her panties. She shuddered, then quickly reached under her skirt, lifted her hip up--we were on our sides on my bed--and stripped the panties off. She then reached for her skirt, but I stopped her and said, “No, keep it on.”

“OK,” she giggled.

I went back to her boob, while my hand worked on her pussy. I played with her pussy lips for a while, working her up, then went for her clit. 

Of course, I’d done this before. It was one of the logical steps, right? So, I’d explored her pussy with my hand. I’d gone near her opening, as I did this night, spreading her building wetness on my hand. But I hadn’t gone in--not more than a millimeter or two. Because I couldn’t. And, yeah, that was in the back of my mind.

Tammy was a complete virgin.

Well, that was something I’d have to deal with. And I had an idea, but, to do it, I’d have to be prepared. So, I pulled away from her, and got my clothes off. She looked up at me and smiled. Before I chucked my pants off the bed, I reached in and grabbed a condom out of my wallet and set it beside the bed on my endtable.

“I’m on the pill, you know,” Tammy said.

“Better safe than sorry,” I told her.

“OK,” she smiled, and settled back down on the bed. I got myself back where I was, nibbling away at her boob while my hand stroked her pussy.

I sensed her start to warm up under my hand, so I decided to move down. I sucked her boob one more time, then started to kiss down her stomach. I bypassed the skirt that was still on her, and found myself at her lower thigh. Then I kissed my way up. 

Knowing what I was doing--and knowing she thoroughly enjoyed it the couple of times I’d done it--she spread her legs wide for me, and sighed. I dove right in.

One thing that I got a kick out of when I did this to her is that she didn’t know what to do with her hands. One minute they were roaming through my hair, then they were resting on my shoulder, then they were gripping my bedspread. And then back on my hair. It was rather amusing.

Anyhow, I definitely wanted her to have a good one, so I went to town on her pussy, working my tongue up and down the length of it, before I started nudging her clit. 

But when I did, she howled right away. I worked on her clit, moving my tongue all around it, alternating that with long licks up the length of her pussy. Then, as her panting started getting more ragged, I zeroed in on her clit.

“Oh, Robbie! Oh God!” she gasped, as I bore in on her. I wanted this to be a good one, but I also wanted it to be quick. Because, I knew, the quicker I got her off, the quicker I could build her back up again. So, I wanted a fast one.

I got it. A few minutes of my undivided attention to her clit and she stiffened, grabbed my hair, and yelped “ROBBIE!” Her hips came off the bed and she ground her pussy into my mouth. 

After she slumped back on the bed, I backed away--but only for a minute. After she regained her breath, I gently started nudging her pussy lips with my tongue again. I stayed away from her oversensitive clit for now, but I wanted her climbing the ladder again.

“Oh, God, again?” she sighed happily.

“Well, not quite. Trust me.”

“OK.” 

She put her head back on my pillow and sighed. I went back to my pussy-licking--but, at the same time, twisted around my body so I could get at my dick with my hand. I slipped the condom on as I pushed her back up the ladder.

I waited until I could start back on her clit, and I waited until she was moaning and calling my name again, and she had started the frantic movements with her hands. In other words, I waited until she was getting close. Then I pulled away from her pussy with my mouth. She started to let out a little moan of disappointment, but I quickly replaced my mouth with my hand, working away at her clit. Then I scooted up and wrapped my lips around hers. She eagerly returned the kiss, exploring my mouth with her tongue, as I diddled her clit with my hand. It was kind of awkward--I was holding myself up with one hand while the other was between us on her clit, and my mouth was on hers. A bit awkward, but I managed. And I had one more manuever to go. 

I moved into position, and nudged her opening with my dick. I used my hand to line it up, got the very tip of the head lodged slightly into her opening, and then put my hand back into her clit. I thought I could get it in without my hand from here. I was going to try, because I wanted the hand on her clit. The fact that she was creating a small pond down there with her juices didn’t hurt! 

She immediately figured out what I was doing. She pulled her mouth away from mine, eyes wide open, and hissed, “Yes, Robbie! Yes! Now!” I nudged forward a bit, to make sure I was lined up properly. Most of the head lodged firmly in her opening--making her moan--so I knew I was aimed right. I made sure I had a good contact with my hand on her clit--and then I pushed. Hard. 

OK, I wanted to get it over with. I also figured that if I did it when she was on the edge, some of the pain might be blunted. What I didn’t expect was to have her squeal as her eyes opened wide at me. I didn’t expect her body to go rigid. And I didn’t expect her pussy to spasm, repeatedly, hard on my dick.

I held myself still, about three-quarters the way into her, through all this. Finally, after a minute, she calmed down a bit and her eyes refocused. 

“Wow!”

“I’ll say,” I said with a smile. “Did you...?”

“Oh, you betcha!”

“Does it hurt?”

She seemed to think about that for a minute. “Yeah. A little. I didn’t notice it until now.”

“That was the idea,” I told her, “though I didn’t think you’d cum right away!”

“Surprised me, too! You’re not all the way in, are you?”

“No,” I said. 

“Are you going to cum soon?”

“I’m trying to control myself,” I said with a wry grin.

“Good. Well, get it all the way in.”

“It might hurt.”

“It might. Do it anyway.” So, I did--slowly this time. She was soaking wet--but tight as all get-out. Having plowed through her hymen, I took the rest of it slowly. 

I loved looking at her. For one thing, I had this, I dunno, I guess you’d call it a fetish. I like making love with girls who aren’t completely naked. She wasn’t. Her blouse and bra were open, but not off. Her panties were off, but her skirt was still on, bunched up around her waist. She still had her knee-highs and her shoes on. It was quite a sight.

I was watching her face, too. Her eyes were screwed shut, and it looked like she was concentrating. I got myself all the way in--barely holding back from coming--and she sighed as our pubes hit. Her eyes fluttered open.

“Hurts?” I asked.

“A little,” she said. Then she gave me a bit of a grin. “It feels weird. There’s a bit of pain, you know, where you broke through. But I’m also getting those nice little flutters down in my belly.”

“Well, I don’t know if I can promise no more pain, but I can definitely promise more flutters.”

She giggled. “I know. Do it. Start slow, though, OK?”

“Of course.” 

I pulled all the way out, slowly, then pushed back in just as slowly. She moaned as I hit bottom again. I did it a couple more times, still very slowly.

“Oh, God, Robbie!” she squeaked.

“Pain or flutters?” I joked.

“Well, it still hurts a teeny bit, but it’s big huge flutters!”

“Good,” I grinned, then went back to moving in and out of her. I did it for a little bit, then realized that she was trying to buck herself back up at me. So, I picked up the pace a bit.

“AAAAH!” she hissed. “God, so good!” She instinctively wrapped her legs around my hips, then grabbed my shoulders and pulled on them. “Robbie, God, please kiss me!” I happily obliged.

I was holding myself up on my elbows. She had her arms around my shoulders and her legs around my hips, as she devoured my mouth and franticallly thrust herself back up at me as I fucked in and out of her. I started to go a bit faster, and she started squealing into my mouth.

I know it’s a damn cliche, but this was the best ever. Where the hell had this little spitfire been all my life?

I kept it up, and she was throwing herself back up at me. Then, she broke the kiss, and announced herself. “Oh, God, Robbie, I’m going to come again.” I drove hard into her. I felt her fingernails rake the back of my shoulders, and her mouth attatched itself to my neck. I felt the tug on my skin as she sucked on my neck. 

My goodness. I’d gotten the odd hickey before, but in the middle of sex? As she was approaching orgasm? That had never happened. I felt her pretty much raise a welt on my neck. God, I wasn’t going to be able to control myself through this much longer. I hoped she was close--because I sure was.

She was. She dropped her mouth from my neck and screeched. Then I felt it. I’d felt that first one, when I first entered her, somewhat--but this one I really felt. Her whole body spasmed. 

That’s all it took for me, and I have never come that hard in my life. I’m surprised I didn’t squirt the condom right off. It felt like I came a gallon. 

I rolled off of her--before I collapsed and crushed the poor girl--and discarded the condom. Then I rolled back toward her. She was still shuddering--I could see the little tremors passing through her body. I reached over and pulled her into me, cuddling her as she came down.

The next thing I knew, she was kissing all over my face. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she hissed in between kisses. I laughed, grabbed her face, and put a good one right on her mouth. When I broke the kiss, she was still grinning at me. 

“That was unbelievable.”

“Good.”

“I guess I lost control a little bit,” she said, putting her finger on my neck. “I left you a little souvenir.”

“I don’t mind at all,” I laughed.

“Was it....” she said hesitantly. “I mean, was I, you know, OK?”

“Are you kidding me?” I said, wrapping her in my arms. “You were completely fantastic. It was mind-blowing.”

“Really?” 

“Really.” I looked down at her. “Tammy? I love you.”

She sighed happily. “I love you, too.”

NINE

We were only able to cuddle for a little bit, as she had that curfew. But we cuddled for a bit, then we got dressed, then I drove her home. The good-night kiss was mind-blowing. She had to work the next day, but we talked on the phone for a bit.

Monday, I got into school and headed for my locker. While I was pulling books out, the gang found me.

“Where the hell were you Saturday night?” John started. “You didn’t go to Annie Bielmann’s halloween party! Everyone was asking about you.”

“Sorry, I was busy,” I said.

“Don’t tell me you were with Tammy again!” Nick said.

“Actually, yeah, I was.”

“Jesus!” Jake interjected. “When the hell are you going to fuck that girl and be done with it?”

Don’t ask me what I was thinking--I don’t know. But I said it. “Actually, that’s what we were doing Saturday night.” I wanted to take it back the minute the words were out of my mouth. 

“Really? You actually nailed Tammy Ishigawa? Way to go!” Nick enthused. 

“I never thought you’d do it,” Jake said. “You told us you’d get a wallflower into bed but I never thought you’d pull it off. I underestimated you, man.”

“Me, too. Now you can dump the geek, right?” John said. 

“Well, he doesn’t want to dump her too soon, right?” Nick laughed. “The little geek’s probably fragile, after Rob the Stud spun her world around.”

“Just dump her soon, wouldja?” Jake added. “Let’s get things back to normal around here. “

I didn’t say a word, trying to figure out how the hell to deal with this. They walked away before I could say anything. 

I got the rest of my books out of my locker and closed it. I headed the opposite way from the guys--my locker was near a corner and I had to go around that corner to get to my first class. I started, shaking my head, trying to figure out what the hell to do. I didn’t want to try to choose between Tammy and my friends, but it looked like that’s what was going to happen. If I confessed to them what was really going on between me and Tammy, I’d never hear the end of it. It’s a choice I was trying to avoid.

When I turned the corner, I realized the choice had just been taken from me.

I almost ran into her. She was standing there, big huge fat tears rolling down her cheeks. She saw me come around the corner and looked up at me. The look in her eyes--it was a combination of despairing and murderous. And it cut me to the bone.

“Tammy...” I tried to say.

She didn’t let me get any more than that out of my mouth. She had her bookbag in her hand, and she slammed into my chest with it, knocking the wind out of me and hurtling me back a couple feet. “You BASTARD!” she screamed. “I don’t ever want to speak to you ever again!” 

She turned and stormed off down the corridor. I got my breath back and called out to her. “Tammy, wait! I can explain!” She either didn’t hear me or chose to ignore me. I almost ran after her--but then it hit me.

I can explain? How? No, I couldn’t explain. I couldn’t explain it to myself, how could I explain it to her?

I just slumped to the floor, sitting up against the wall, until the first bell rang, wondering what the hell I was going to do now.

TEN

I tried. I called her and she hung up on me. I went to her apartment and she wouldn’t buzz me in, and threatened to call the cops if I didn’t leave. I tried to go to the diner and the owner, Mr. Dupont, met me at the door and told me I was no longer welcome in his diner and if I tried to go in there, he’d call the cops. “She’s like my daughter, and you destroyed her. Leave her the fuck alone.”

So I stopped trying.

Not just trying to talk to Tammy--I stopped trying in much of anything. I actually came close to flunking a test. 

And things with the guys didn’t get any better, because I just wasn’t interested. They even asked if I was still with “that little geek”. I told them I wasn’t but didn’t say anything else. But they were razzing me because I still wasn’t going to the parties or hanging out with them. It got to the point where I was eating lunch by myself. 

My parents even noticed. Which is like a miracle.

Don’t misunderstand me, my parents love me and I love them. But they’re busy making all of that money. They have their lives and I have mine. But all I mean by that is that they don’t always notice things. They are always there for me, no question about it--but I usually have to bring it up. If I say, “Dad, I’ve got a problem,” he’ll listen, and then move heaven and earth to help me fix the problem. It’s not that they don’t care about me. It’s just that they can sometimes get so caught up in their lives that they get a bit oblivious. I don’t mind, I realized that a long time ago, and I’m not the type of person that would be afraid to go to them with something. We actually have a great relationship and I’ve always felt lucky to have them as parents. 

But when Dad said, one night, “Rob, are you OK? You’ve been down in the dumps the last couple weeks, it seems,” I knew that it must really be showing. But I told Dad I was fine, I just had a problem at school I was working out. I really didn’t want to talk about it, even to him. Because he would’ve tried--very nicely and subtly, mind you--to tell me what an asshole I’d been.

And I already knew that.

After a few weeks of me moping around, we ran into Thanksgiving break. At least there’d be a few days that I wouldn’t have to pass her in the halls while she looked daggers at me. And we had a class together--that was the class I was almost flunking. I just couldn’t deal with her across the room. At least Thanksgiving was a bit of a break. We had the big family dinner and I put on the happy face. I did have things to be thankful for. Just not the ones I really wanted.

It was the day after Thanksgiving that I found out who else had really noticed.

It was a bit after noon. The doorbell rang--I was the only one home so I went to get it. I opened it and there stood Corey and Jenna.

“Hi guys,” I said, smiling weakly. “Look, I’m not up for company right now.”

“I don’t care,” Corey snapped, and walked right past me, Jenna in tow, and headed for the living room. He sat in one of the couches, Jenna next to him, and pointed at the other one. “Sit,” he said, in a tone that let me know he’d brook no argument. Slightly bemused, I sat. 

He didn’t waste any time. “OK, Rob, what the hell is wrong with you?”

I turned away. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Sorry, that’s not gonna work anymore,” Corey replied. “You need to talk to somebody and I’m your best friend. You’ve been like a fucking zombie the last few weeks. I need to know what happened.”

I kept looking away, trying to avoid it--when Jenna got up off the couch and walked over to the one where I was sitting. She rested her hand on my shoulder and said, “Robbie, you need to talk to us. We’re really, really worried about you.”

I guess that did it. Ever since Jenna and Corey had started going out, Jenna and I had developed a relationship that was damn close to brother-sister. I had no interest in her romantically--good thing, Corey would’ve killed me! But I adored her. She was good people, and probably the easiest person in my life to talk to. 

So, I did. “I blew it, Jenna,” I started. “The best thing that every happened to me, and I fucked it up.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Jenna, I fell in love with her.”

She thought for a second, then her eyes went wide open. “Tammy?” she said incredulously.

“Yeah. I fell completely in love with Tammy.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Jenna said, but she was almost interrupted by Corey, from the other couch. 

“You what?” he gasped. “You fell in love with a nonentity like Tammy Ishigawa? What the hell are you thinking? Jesus, Rob!”

I looked at Jenna, pointed to Corey, and said, “That’s why I didn’t tell you.”

“Huh?” Corey said.

“And he’s supposed to be my best friend,” I continued to Jenna. “Imagine the reaction I’d be getting from Nick and Jake and them.”

Jenna gave me a wry grin and nodded. “Hey, wait a minute,” Corey interjected. “You’re serious?”

“Yes,” I said.

“Hey, I’m surprised--honestly, I’m surprised you fell in love with anyone.”

“OK. Touche,” I admitted.

“But your entire reason for going out with her was just to get a wallflower into bed.”

“Yep,” I agreed. “At first. I think that lasted about halfway through our first date. By the time I took her home after the end of that first date, I already knew I really liked her.”

“Hmm,” Corey said. “She’s really that cool?”

“She’s really that cool.”

“OK, but something happened,” Jenna said. “You’re miserable. So what happened?”

“As I said, I fucked it up.” I proceeded to tell them the whole story.

When I got done, Jenna was staring at me. “So, you decided you didn’t want to just sleep with Tammy--but you told everyone else that you still did?”

“It’s not that I told everyone else I still did, it’s that I didn’t say anything,” I said. “What I did say that will haunt me forever is telling all of them I slept with her. It was none of anyone’s business and I wish I could take it back. But I didn’t say that I just wanted to sleep with her, or that I was going to break up with her, I just didn’t correct any of them.”

“And she heard it all,” Corey said.

“Yep,” I said bitterly.

“Why didn’t you just speak up?” Jenna asked.

“Because of how Corey just reacted, I said that!”

“I was just surprised,” Corey said. “Don’t forget something, Rob, I’ve never spoken two words to Tammy. I don’t know her at all. And, until you said what you said, I thought that you had been just trying to get into her pants. You kept her to yourself, I thought you were just out for sex--and now you tell me that you actually finally fell in love with someone. You can’t blame me for being a bit shocked.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“Besides which, who cares?” Jenna asked.

“I felt caught in the middle, between my friends and her.”

“Like I said, who cares?” she repeated. “Look, Rob, do you realize how much shit I got from my friends when I started dating Corey? A ton. I actually lost a few friends over it.”

“Huh?” I said.

“It’s true,” Corey agreed. 

“Hey, he had a reputation--the same one you do,” Jenna said with a grin. “He was only out for one thing. All my friends warned me he was going to use me and drop me. But I got to know him better than that.”

“I told her the truth,” Corey said. “She knew I slept around. But I told her very early on that I liked her a lot.” He grinned at me. “Not quite halfway through our first date, but close.”

“Yeah, and all my friends thought it was a line. I just knew better. Hey, look, Corey wasn’t my first. I lost my virginity in eighth grade. I wouldn’t say I slept around, but I’d had a few. So it’s not like I would’ve been adverse to sleeping with him just for the sake of sleeping with him. But we both knew, and quickly. I couldn’t make my friends understand--but I figured if they didn’t give me the benefit of the doubt, they weren’t my friends.”

“Well, I guess it’s how you define friendship,” I said.

“What do you mean?” Jenna asked.

“Leave Corey out of this, because he is a true friend. Why do you think the rest of them hang around with me?”

“Because they like you?” Jenna asked.

“No. Because they like what they think I am--what I have been up until recently, if I’m being honest. They like hanging around with the school stud. Oh, and I’m rich, too--that makes it better. Being part of Rob’s Posse is a status symbol. If I lose my status, I lose my friends.”

“Oh, I don’t know if that’s true,” Corey said.

“Even if it is, Rob,” Jenna added, “why would you care what people that shallow think of you?”

“Because I’m shallow?” I said. “Let’s not mince words here. I’m as shallow as it gets,” I sighed. “I remember something Tammy told us right on our first date. I told her I thought she was shy, because I see her alone so much. She’s not shy, at all, by the way,” I grinned. Then I got serious again. “Anyhow, she told me she does have a few very close friends, but that was it, because lots of people in school looked down on her. But what really struck me was that she didn’t care. She even said so. If people looked down on her, it was their loss and they weren’t worth her time.” I sighed, long and deep. “And now I only wish I was that strong.”

“But I guess I just don’t get it,” Jenna said. “I think you’re stronger than you think you are, but I still don’t see what those guys represent to you.”

“A social life,” I said.

“Which you’ve spent the last three months throwing away,” Corey said. “You’ve completely blown us off since school started. I’m not complaining--now that I truly know why--I’m just pointing it out. And while you were with Tammy you didn’t seem upset at all that you were blowing us off.” 

“You might have not been strong enough to tell them what was going on,” Jenna added, “but you were strong enough to say it with actions.” She grinned at me. “I guessed this, you know. I didn’t tell Corey, because it was only a guess. But when you weren’t around, and Corey was complaining and wondering why, I said to myself that I think that there’s more to this Tammy girl than meets the eye. Because your actions spoke louder than your words. So why couldn’t you get the words out?”

“I don’t know,” I said.

“I think I do,” Corey said. “I’ve been there.” Jenna and I both looked at him. “Look, when I met Jenna, I was going through girls like water, just like you have been. And I knew right away that she was different. But knowing it and feeling it are a lot different than trusting it. It took me a long time to trust it. I mean, can I actually be feeling this way about one girl? And can she actually feel the same way? That took some time to accept that and trust it.”

“He’s right,” Jenna agreed, “for me, too.”

I thought about that for a while. “You’re right. And look what I did. I destroyed someone that doesn’t think that way.”

“What do you mean?” Jenna asked.

“Tammy’s the most trusting soul in the world. Well, at least she used to be. She’s probably not, now. All this stuff we’re talking about--it’s completely foreign to her. I was her first, guys.”

“You were?” Jenna asked. “Actually, that makes sense, considering what you said about the few close friends.”

“I was her first boyfriend of any kind,” I said. “And she charged headlong into our relationship with no second thoughts. She liked me, and then she loved me, and she trusted me--so full speed ahead. She told me after a month that she was going to sleep with me, she just wanted to build up to it. It was so uncomplicated. The girl was completely incapable of angst about our relationship. And the sex...well, it was just amazing. For her, too.” I looked down, trying desperately not to cry in front of my best friend and his girlfriend. “And look what I did. It’s going to take me a very long time to forgive myself for doing that to her.”

“You’ve tried to talk to her,” Jenna said.

“Of course.”

“Well, then it’s my turn.”

“Huh?”

“Monday in school. I’ll go eat with her. She’s more likely to listen to me than you at this point.”

“You’d do that?” I said.

“Of course. Rob, you’re not an asshole. You’ve made some stupid mistakes, but you’re not an asshole. And you truly do love her, I can tell.”

“I do. Thanks, Jenna. Though I don’t know how much good it’ll do.”

“All I can do is try, can’t I?” 

“Yes, and I appreciate it.”

ELEVEN

I was having trouble sleeping anyway. Sunday night, knowing that Jenna was going to talk to Tammy the next day, I really had trouble. I knew it was probably futile--but I also knew it was probably my last shot at getting Tammy back.

So, I slept fitfully. When I woke up for the thousandth time, at four-thirty in the morning, I gave up. I got out of bed, made myself a bagel and coffee, and decided to go for a walk.

In downtown Burnham, there was a supermarket. Behind the supermarket was a small bit of woods. If you walked through the woods, it opened up into a field, surrounded by small hills. The biggest hill was on the opposite side of the field--up that hill led to the high school. In fact, the field was owned by the school department, and some of the sports would practice here, especially stuff like lacrosse and soccer that had to share the main fields.. It wasn’t really a playing field, but you could kick a soccer ball around if the main fields were being used. 

At 5 AM, however, nobody was kicking soccer balls around. It was isolated. I drove downtown, started walking, and the field was where I ended up. I sat there for a bit, just thinking. 

Unfortunately, I wasn’t thinking clearly.

Burnham’s mostly a nice place, as I’ve said--but it wasn’t perfect. It has its poor section, like the apartments where Tammy lived. It also wasn’t by any means crime-free. Burnham had its share of thugs. Like the Anderson Gang.

That was Jimmy Anderson, a well-known thug a few years older than me, and his little gang of followers. Anderson had been in and out of jail--always for penny-ante stuff, so he wasn’t ever in there for too long. But he was a bully and a thug, especially with his buddies around. 

I didn’t even hear them emerge from the woods behind me. They were right behind me before Anderson said, “Hey, look, it’s Moneybags!”

I jumped, startled, then I turned. He had three other guys with him.

“Hi, Jimmy. What’s up?”

“That’s a good question,” he said. He ambled over to me. I could tell he was drunk--at 5 AM. Typical. “What are you doing out here?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” I admitted.

They were surrounding me now. I figured what they wanted, and I was right. “Well, now, maybe your conscience is bothering you,” Anderson sniggered. “That’ll keep you up nights. So, to soothe your conscience, maybe you should make a donation to the less fortunate.”

“You want my money,” I said.

He grabbed me around the arm. “Yep. Hand it over, Moneybags.”

What was I going to do? I couldn’t take four of them. Besides which, money was the least of my problems. I shrugged and got out my wallet. I gave them what was in there--a twenty.

“Twenty bucks?” one of them said.

“That’s all I got,” I shrugged.

Before I knew it, two of them had my arms. “Somehow, I doubt that,” Anderson said. “Come on, boys, let’s persuade Moneybags to show us his hidden stash.”

I tried to protest. I really did only have twenty bucks on me. They didn’t listen, of course.
And I didn’t wear jewelry, either, so I couldn’t pacify them with any bling. I tried to tell them this.

I guess they finally figured it out--but, by that point, I was lying on the ground in agony, blood coming out of my mouth. They worked me over good. All they got was that twenty bucks, my watch, and my credit card.

Oh, and my cell phone. So I couldn’t even call for help.

I wasn’t going to be able to move. They did something to my ribs and I could barely breathe. My head was spinning--they’d gotten me there too. I didn’t know what the hell to do. I knew some kids who lived downtown used that field to cut through to get to school--but not at 5:30. School didn’t start until seven. 

All I could do is wait. And try to keep myself awake--I suspected I had a concussion and I knew I shouldn’t wink out. But it really, really hurt to breathe. 

I managed to stay awake--my thoughts in turmoil. This was just the icing on the cake, wasn’t it? I hurt bad enough inside--now the body hurt, too. I guess it was fitting. Part of me even figured I deserved it. 

I don’t know how long I waited, but I don’t think it was as long as I’d guessed. Someone must be coming to school early. I heard the footsteps emerging from the trees. I thought whoever it was couldn’t miss seeing me, but I made sure. With all the strength I could muster in my ravaged lungs, I croaked, “Help!”

I heard the footsteps get closer, then I heard, “Robbie?”

I looked up. I knew the voice, but I looked up anyway. Of all the people to find me. I could only hope she didn’t hate me enough to leave me there lying in my own blood. “Hi, Tammy,” I said. 

“What happened?”

“The Anderson gang.”

“Are you hurt?”

“God, yes,” I said. “My ribs, my wrist, my head....”

“Where’s your cell phone?”

“They took that,” I told her.

“OK. I’m going to run and go get help, OK?”

“Thanks. Will you come back?”

“Yes,” she said with a little smile. “I’ll be right back.” She hurried off the way she had come.

Well, at least she didn’t leave me for dead. I almost wouldn’t have blamed her. 

But she said she was coming back. Did she have enough pity on my battered self to hear me out?

She came back pretty quickly, and sat down beside me. “Ambulance is on its way.”

“Thanks.”

“What the hell were you doing out here this early?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” I said. “Came here to think.” I gasped a little at that.

“Don’t talk,” she said, “it must hurt a lot.”

“Need to talk.”

“Save your strength,” she said--and rested her hand on mine. “We can talk later.”

“You won’t let me,” I said. “Tammy, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I can’t tell you.”

She didn’t say anything, just stared into space. 

I went on. “It started that way. Find a wallflower and get her into bed. I still don’t know why I picked you. Something--there was something. But that’s how it started.

“I realized I was wrong halfway through our first date. Ten minutes after we got to Joe’s, and it all changed. I liked you right away. And I almost couldn’t believe it. Every time we went out, it got deeper.

“But I couldn’t tell my friends that. Because I’m weak and stupid and I care too much about what people think about me. So I kept going out with you and blowing them off and not saying much and letting them think what they wanted.” I coughed miserably. She looked down at me, but before she could tell me to shut up I ignored the cough and went on. “But I didn’t tell them to shut up, or that I really liked you. I didn’t say much of anything. 

“Until I made the mistake of telling them we slept together. God, I wish I could take that back. Because that just egged them on more, and it was none of their business. I only wish I knew a way to tell you how sorry I am. And then, again I didn’t defend you, or us. Well, you heard that part.

“I was trying to figure out a way not to have to make a choice. I should have. I should have chosen you, and told them. Corey--my best friend--knows the whole story now, he and his girlfriend Jenna. I should’ve trusted them with it. And I shouldn’t have cared about the rest of them. I fucked up.

“And I’m sorry. I wish I could make it up to you. Because I did fall in love with you, Tammy. I think I’ll always love you. And it kills me that you won’t believe that now, and it kills me that I did this myself.”

She didn’t say anything. She still wasn’t looking at me, staring out into space. 

But her hand was still lightly resting on mine. And at least I got it all out.

After a minute, she said, “The paramedics are here.”

“Good,” I said. “Tammy? Thanks for staying.”

She looked down at me with a hint of a smile. “I couldn’t leave.”

“When you get to school, can you do me a favor?”

“What?”

“Tell the principal. They’ll know how to get in touch with my parents.”

“Will do.”

“Oh, and Corey. You know who Corey is?” She nodded. “Can you find him and tell him? I don’t care about the rest of them but I’d like you to tell Corey.”

“OK.”

“Thanks.”

By then the paramedics were there, hoisting me on a stretcher to carry me back out of the field to the ambulance.

TWELVE

Cracked ribs, partially collapsed lung. Concussion, sprained wrist, sprained knee. That was the verdict. They were going to keep me for a few days, because of the concussion and the lung.

My parents showed up. As did the police. They knew who Jimmy Anderson was, of course. I didn’t know the names of most of the rest of his goons, but I’d surely be able to identify them. That asshole made a big mistake. He wasn’t going to be let off easy this time--I was a minor, he wasn’t, and my father had clout in this town. He didn’t throw it around much, and in most instances I wouldn’t have wanted him to, not in my behalf. But this time, he could throw it around all he wanted. 

Anyhow, after the cops left, I decided to tell my parents the whole story. They knew about Tammy--I’d talked about her--but they never met her and they didn’t know the end. So now they knew--including about Tammy finding me. They sympathized, but I think they were also disappointed in how I’d acted. I didn’t blame them.

They hung out for most of the day. I had a private room--again, Dad’s clout, another instance where I didn’t mind it. 

Mom and Dad were still there shortly after school got out, which is when Corey and Jenna showed up. Corey, of course, knew my parents, and Jenna had met them a few times as well, so we all sat there chatting. 

“I went to see Mr. Myers,” Corey told me. He was our principal. “I gave him a list of your teachers--he said he’ll see if you need any homework sent to you.”

“Good idea,” I told him. “They think I’m going to be in here a few days, I don’t want to get too far behind.”

“So,” Corey said. “When Tammy found me, she told me she waited for the ambulance with you. Did you say anything to her?”

“Yeah. I got the whole thing out. In between gasping for breath, but I got it out. She listened. She didn’t say anything, but at least she listened.”

“That’s a start,” Jenna said. 

“Yep,” Corey agreed. “And I can tell you something--she was really worried about you.”

After that, the topics turned to other things. After a few minutes, I noticed movement over near the door to the room. I looked up--and there she was, peeking in.

“Hi,” I said. Everyone else looked around. “That’s Tammy,” I told my parents. “Come on in.” She stepped in the room a couple steps, looking shy and unsure of herself. “These are my parents. You know Corey, and this is Jenna.”

Then Jenna, bless her, got up and wrapped Tammy in a hug! Tammy looked startled but pleased. “Thank you so much for rescuing this big lunkhead,” Jenna told her with a grin. “He’s a pain in the ass but he’s like my brother, so I’m glad he wasn’t left out there to freeze to death.”

“Oh, I didn’t do anything, I was just there,” Tammy said.

“It doesn’t matter,” my Mother said, and then she got up and wrapped Tammy in a hug! “It’s nice to finally meet you, I’ve heard so much about you.” That caught Tammy almost as much by surprise as all the hugging! “And you did rescue him.”

Tammy just beamed--and blushed. The blush was fighting with the embarrassed little grin for control.

She stood at the end of the bed. “I can’t stay long. I have to go to work.” I nodded. “I just wanted to see how you were.”

“I’ll live,” I said dramatically, getting a giggle out of everyone including Tammy. “Seriously, everything will heal.” I gave her the litany. She winced. 

“That’s a lot of injuries,” she said.

“Yeah, but I’ll be fine. They’re going to keep me in here a few days, because of the concussion and the lung, but I’ll be OK.”

“Good. Are you going to be still here tomorrow?”

“Yeah.”

“OK. I really do have to go, but I’ll come back tomorrow when I don’t have to work.”

“I’d like that,” I told her.

“OK. But now I have to go,” she said again, apologetically.

“I know,” I told her, smiling. “Go get those big tips. And Tammy? Thanks for coming.”

She just smiled as she left the room. 

“I told you she was worried about you,” Corey said.

“I guess so.”

“Where does she work?” Mom asked.

“At the Burnham Diner,” I told her. 

THIRTEEN

My Mom came in by herself the next morning. Dad had a meeting he couldn’t get out of. That was fine, it wasn’t like I was dying or anything, I didn’t need them here all the time holding my hand.

I was glad to see Mom, though.

Mom asked me how I was feeling, and all that bit. After a couple of minutes, she said, “Your Dad and I decided to go out for dinner last night.”

“Well, since you were here until seven, that doesn’t surprise me,” I laughed. “Where’d you go?”

“We decided to go somewhere we’ve never been,” she said. Then she got a mock-innocent look on her face. “Imagine, all the years we’ve lived here and we’ve never been to the Burnham Diner.”

“Not what I’d consider your kind of place,” I laughed. Then it hit me. “You went to the diner?”

“Yes. And, yes, we went there because of a certain waitress. But the food is actually very good.”

“Yes, it is. The breakfast is even better. They make great omelettes. But you went there because of Tammy?”

“Yes. We were spying,” Mom laughed. “That girl works very hard at that diner, I’ll tell you that.”

“I know,” I said. 

“I get the impression that Tammy doesn’t have a particularly easy life.”

“No, she doesn’t. Her Mom had her when she was seventeen, there’s no Dad. They don’t have much money. She works to save money for college. Her mom works there as well.” I took a breath. “Did you talk to her?”

“Yes,” she smiled. “She had a break coming so your father and I asked her to sit with us for a minute. She’s lovely, Rob.”

“You didn’t grill her, did you?”

“No,” she laughed. “Your father and I just wanted to get a look at this girl who had our son in such a tither.”

“Oy, Mom.”

“Don’t worry, I didn’t say anything to embarrass you. We just asked her about herself. Well, I did say one thing.”

“What?” I asked, not sure if I wanted to know.

“Look, your father and I know what you’re like,” she said with a smile. “I know Dad had a talk with you long ago about being careful and responsible, and I know you are.”

“Yes,” I agreed.

“So, that’s what we were most concerned with. We trust you. But I know there’s been a long line of girls in your life--that part didn’t come as any surprise to us when you talked with us yesterday. We knew that. But what I told Tammy was that I’d seen plenty of girls come and go in your life--but that she was the first one you ever couldn’t let go of.”

“You told her that?”

“I thought it might help if she knew that.”

“What did she say?”

“Nothing. She just gave me a smile. I’m sorry if I interfered too much.”

“It’s OK, Mom. I don’t think you hurt anything,” I grinned.

Mom left after lunch. She’d brought some books, so I read for a while. I was deep into a Heinlein when Tammy came in right after school. 
 
“Hi. Where’s the fan club?” she laughed as she sat down in the chair next to the bed.”

“Dad’s got meetings today,” I smiled back. “Mom was here this morning. Corey and Jenna are going to come tonight.” 

“How are you feeling?” she asked.

“Better. Getting there. They think Friday I’ll be able to go home.”

“Good.” She paused for a minute. “Your mother and father came in for supper at the diner last night.”

“I know, Mom told me,” I laughed. “I think they were scoping you out.”

“I got that impression,” she laughed back. “They’re very nice. I sat and talked with them a bit.” She took a breath, and stared into space. I got the impression that she was trying to say something, so I just waited.

“It was partially my fault, you know,” she said after a minute.

“Excuse me?”

“It was.”

“How can you say that?”

She took another breath. “Because it was easy for me to believe. That you only wanted one thing. I mean, why else would you be goihg out with me? You could have any girl in school. Why me? It was very easy for me to believe.”

“Let me ask you a question. Before you overheard me being an idiot, did you think that?”

“Yeah. A little. It was always in the back of my mind.”

“Damn.”

“That part wasn’t at all your fault. That was me.”

I sighed. “I don’t know what to say to you, because, after what I did, I don’t know if you trust me enough to believe anything I say.”

She smiled, a welcome sight. “Your mother told me a few things last night. And after your parents left, Corey and Jenna came in--and every time I went over to their table Jenna was pleading your case.”

I had to laugh. “That’s Jenna for you.”

“Anyhow, I won’t lie to you. I’m very shaky. The last three weeks have been miserable. I don’t know what to think.” Her voice dropped a little. “I fell very, very hard for you. I never thought I could feel that way. Then you killed it. So I’m very shaky. But I want you to say what you have to say. Robbie, at the least, I’m done running away from you. Your parents and friends--and what you said yesterday--convinced me of that at least. I’ll listen.”

“OK. When Corey and Jenna were over last Friday and I told them everything, they said something interesting. When I talked about trying to play both sides against the middle with you and my friends, Corey reminded me that I hadn’t been--not by my actions. That I’d been blowing my friends off for two months. And that it didn’t seem to bother me any.” 

“Because you were with me all the time,” she giggled.

“Yes. And I liked it that way.”

“Oh.”

“If I had just been trying to get you into bed, I wouldn’t have been blowing off my friends. It wouldn’t have taken two months. I would’ve pushed the issue--which I didn’t.”

“No, you didn’t,” she agreed.

“And if all I wanted was to get you in bed--well, I got that, right? So why am I still trying?”

“Guilt,” she said.

I took a breath. “Let me be blunt for a minute.” She looked at me, and I took another breath. “Up until the day we went out for the first time, guilt when it comes to girl was something I wasn’t capable of. I’m not going to mince words--sex was all I wanted. Now, in my defense, I didn’t make a secret of it. But I also didn’t have much of a conscience about it. Guilt? Never. If I wanted just to get you into bed, I wouldn’t have had an ounce of guilt about doing it.”

She looked at me, a little surprised. I went on. “Like I said, I didn’t make a secret of it. I made it clear what I wanted. Most of them wanted the same thing. They got to brag to their friends that they bedded the rich stud. You think it’s only guys who play the impress the friends with sex game? Not hardly.”

She was still listening intently. So I spilled my guts. “I never whispered words of love to any of them. The only girl I’ve ever told I loved was you. You’re also the only girl I’ve ever had up in my bedroom. I told you that, and that’s the truth. If I brought girls to my house for sex, we went downstairs somewhere, or in one of the guest rooms. My bedroom was mine, and mine alone. Until I brought you there.”

Now she was staring at me in shock. “That’s the truth. If you don’t believe me, I’ll give you a list of the girls I’ve dated and you can ask them.”

She snorted out a giggle. “I don’t think I could do that.”

“Yeah,” I smiled, “it might be awkward. But the offer stands. It’s the truth.” I dropped my voice a bit. “I’ve never been in love before, either, you know. And it scared me, too.”

“Oh,” she said, her eyes wide open. She sat for a minute. “I need to think about all this.”

“I know you do.”

“OK,” she said. Then she changed the subject. “So, what are you reading?”

She stayed for a while. We spent the rest of the time just chatting. It was nice--and I think it was a start.

I was beginning to think that getting beaten up might have been a blessing in disguise.

Not that I liked the actual beating, mind you. The cops came by that evening and told me they’d arrested Anderson. I was happy about that.

FOURTEEN

The next day, Mom and Dad came by for a while, plus a couple friends. I knew Tammy had to work. She called to check up on me.

She promised to come by the next day, which was Thursday. 

After school got out, I was waiting for her. But while I was waiting, the gang showed up. Not Corey or Jenna, but the rest of them. 

They all asked how I was feeling, joked around a bit, stuff like that. I was wondering how to bring up Tammy--and then Jake gave me an opening.

“So, how’d the geek feel about finding you? She still all broken up that you dumped her?”

“I didn’t dump her,” I said. “She dumped me. That Monday when I stupidly told you guys that we’d slept together--she overheard the whole thing. I went around the corner, and there she was. She called me a bastard and told me she never wanted to see me again.”

“Well, saved you the trouble,” Nick said.

“No, it didn’t. I had no intention of breaking up with her.”

“EXCUSE ME?” Dave yelped.

“I wasn’t going out with her just to get her into bed. That stopped after the first date. Truth is, I fell in love with her.”

That’s when I got what I expected. “You’re crazy!” and “Why would you want that loser?” and the like. 

I raised my voice to interrupt. “And that’s why I never told you guys. Because I knew I was going to get shit. That was a big mistake.” They were all looking at me like I had three heads. “When she found me there, she stayed with me until the ambulance got there, so I talked. She’s been coming to see me here. I think there’s a possibility she might give me another chance. If she does, I’m going to gratefully take it, and I don’t care what you guys think about it.”

The whoops of disbelief started up again. “OK, that’s it,” I interrupted again. “Look, there’s new rules around here. No talking bad about Tammy. If you guys keep it up, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“Rob, try to see reason,” Nick said. “You know I’m having my big annual Christmas party in a couple weeks. You gonna bring her?”

“If she wants to go. If she doesn’t, there’s other ways we can occupy our time, I’m sure.”

“You’d pick a girl over one of my parties?”

“In a heartbeat. You guys aren’t getting it. I’m in love with this girl. The two months we were together were the happiest I’ve ever been. I’m not fucking that up again if I get the chance. Look, I like parties, you know that. If I can get Tammy to go, we’ll go. But, now that I know what my life is like with her, I wouldn’t have any fun if she wasn’t there. And I’m not going to ask her if I think you guys are going to make her feel uncomfortable! But if you guys behave, I’ll ask her. I don’t want to drop out entirely--but she goes where I go.”

“I’ll be glad to go,” I heard from the doorway. “What night is it on?” Tammy asked Nick as as she walked--no, sauntered--into the room.

“Uh, two weeks from Saturday,” Nick stammered.

“Good. I don’t have to ask for Saturdays off from work.” She was still sauntering, then sat down--next to me on the bed! “Hi, sweetie. How you feeling?”

“A lot better now.”

“Good.” She pointed at the guys. “These boneheads don’t make me uncomfortable. Remember what I told you, I just ignore people that look down on me. But I like parties and I’ll put up with these guys for your sake.” Unbelievable. She then looked at the guys. “Now, if you boys will excuse me, my guy here is hurt, and I have to do my Florence Nightengale bit.” She looked down at me, grinning. “You know, kiss it all better.” Then she lowered her lips to mine and did just that. 

Did I say unbelievable? 

The guys all made little coughing noises, then murmured hasty goodbyes as Tammy’s lips continued to bore into mine. When they had all left the room, she continued to kiss me then pulled away, giggling.

“You’re incredible,” I said.

“I am, ain’t I?” she laughed. She sat up and smiled down at me. “I heard everything. I came up right after they did. Thanks.”

“Don’t thank me,” I said. “I should’ve done that three months ago.”

“But you did it now, and I appreciate it.” Her voice got a little softer. “I think it helped to hear you do that.”

“Well, then, good.”

“You getting out of here tomorrow?”

“That’s the plan.” We didn’t talk about anything to do with us anymore, just chatted about normal everyday things. I didn’t want to push anything.

FIFTEEN

I got out of the hospital Friday morning.

I was still in some pain, and was still on some painkillers. So, I slept a bit Friday. I woke up Saturday and was OK, but late in the morning I took another painkiller. Lying in my bed reading, I fell asleep.

When I woke up a few hours later, it was with a start--because there was someone in my bed with me. My eyes adjusted. “Tammy?”

“Hi, sleepyhead,” she said. She was all curled up under my quilt, snuggled into me. “Do you mind?”

“Why on earth would I mind?”

“It looked like I startled you.”

“You did, but I didn’t mind,” I laughed. “But I didn’t expect you to be here in bed with me.”

“You gave me a lot to think about this week,” she said. She took a breath. “I think I’d already started to waver about hearing you out. Over Thanksgiving, I told my mother the whole story. And she said what you told me--if that’s all you had wanted, you would’ve given up. So I think I was coming to the conclusion that I should at least hear you out.

“I was so worried about you when I found you Monday. That’s why I stayed. And I really was going to let you talk to me later, but you were bound and determined to get it all out then, so I listened. 

“It didn’t make everything all right. I was still mad at you for not caring enough about me to trust your friends. But that was still a much lesser sin, so to speak, than leading me on. So I was mad, but a lot less so. 

“So, I decided to go to the hospital. To see what would happen, and because I was still worried about you. It was Tuesday, when you said that falling in love with me had scared you, too--well, that’s when it all started to make sense. That I could understand, because it surely scared me too, you know. 

“Thursday was the trump card. I still thought you might be, deep down, ashamed of me. What you said to your friends proved that wasn’t true. That’s why I gave you that huge kiss,” she grinned. I grinned back.

She went on. “It was the happiest I’ve ever been. That’s part of what made it so hard. I wanted that back. So, I’m giving you another chance, because I want that back. If you can make me that happy, you should have another chance to do so.”

“Thank you,” I said roughly, meaning it with all my heart.

“I have one condition.”

“Tell me.”

“When we were going out before, I wasn’t demanding. And you weren’t, you know, avoiding me or anything in school--but we didn’t have much interaction there. I don’t want to do that anymore. I do need some reassurance, and I’m going to be a bit more demanding. If I see you standing in the halls before school surrounded by your friends, I’m going to walk right up to you and I’m going to damn well expect a kiss. Can you handle that?”

“It would be my absolute pleasure,” I said, delighted.

“I do love you,” she said softly.

“I love you, too.”

“So. How are you feeling? Physically, I mean?”

“Still a little sore. The painkillers help.”

“What did the doctor say about physical activity?”

“Well, he said to take it easy. But it depends on what kind of physical activity.”

“What about this kind?” she said, grinning, and pulled off the quilt--to reveal that she was completely stark naked underneath it. 

I was completely thunderstruck. 

“You flipped a switch,” she said with a giggle. “I’m so horny. If we’re going to get back together, I don’t want to be horny anymore. Can your battered body handle me, sweetie?”

“I think so,” I said with a grin, reaching out to lightly stroke a boob, which made her shudder. “The problem is, with my left wrist still in a splint, I’ve only got one hand to cover all these fun bits.”

“Nothing wrong with your mouth,” she said impishly. I roared. 

“Boy, I really did flip a switch, didn’t I?”

“Yup,” she said happily. 

So, I used my mouth. After I was done with that, to save my wrist and ribs, we decided to explore the phenomenon known as girl-on-top. 

“I think I like that one!” she said, laughing, after we were done.

SIXTEEN

I went back to school on Monday.

I was given something of a hero’s welcome. Lots of people crowding around, asking me how I was, all that. No big surprise that this included lots of girls. It seemed there were more than enough that volunteered to help me get better and all. 

But I didn’t care about any of them. I was looking over their heads. I knew she’d show up and make her statement. I was looking forward to it. After this, everybody would know--and then they’d decide how they felt about me, about us. I really didn’t care--but I wanted it out of the way. 

And, suddenly, there she was, fighting her way through the crowd. She pushed through all the A-list girls--to their consternation--and planted a big kiss right on my lips. 

And then I happily said it. “Does everyone know my girlfriend, Tammy?”

I’m sure we were getting looks. Gasps of amazement. Rolled eyes. I’m sure that was happening.

I didn’t see any of it, though. I was too busy looking at my girlfriend, grinning up at me.

And I’d finally figured out--just in the nick of time--that’s what was really important. 

--fin--