Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 Deanna by: Dr.  Paco Jones
   copyright 2012
   Chapter 16 - Dee's Insecurity
   Tara looked at Dee as I finished up my story to see how she'd react to
"our meeting" and my having fucked her mother long before I ever met her.
   It was apparent that Dee was deep in thought.  I thought I sensed some
fearful emotions in her, and asked, "What's wrong honey?  Get it out on the
table so we can all deal with it straight up."
   She looked up at me and both Tara and I could see tears starting to form
in her eyes, and she whispered, "Tommy, You obviously loved Marie very very
much.  Would you want to leave me for her if the opportunity came up?"
   I looked at Tara and then at Dee and both Tara and I had shocked looks
on our faces as I answered her, "No Dee, I couldn't do that.  Yes, I still
do love Marie very much honey, but like I belong to you, she belongs to
Lisa."
   "I have found my life's mate and she is you.  I love your mother the
same as I love Marie, perhaps even more if I was totally honest with
myself, but you are my woman.  There'll never be anyone for me except you."
   Then added, "You seem like you're really insecure with all of that Dee,
and there's really no reason for you to feel that way."
   She looked at me a little sheepishly.
   "If you're so damned insecure, how the hell can you allow me to bed your
mother and friends?" I asked.
   She broke down in sobs now and ran over to me and latched on and held
very tight as I soothed her, and assured her that there was nothing going
to affect my love for her and my total devotion to her.  Yes.  She was only
17 but I had made my choice and so had she, though hers was made at age 8,
that first night she held my hand in the kitchen in front of her mother.
   "I knew right then that I had a problem," Tara said wryly, looking at
both of us.
   Dee looked over at her questioningly.
   "Honey.  I've never regretted your love for Tom.  I love him very much,
but not the same way you do.  You two have a devoted love that I'm not sure
I'm capable of after your father."
   "I don't think I'd say that Tara, you are an extremely passionate,
loving woman, and I love you very much.  I was chasing after you for 8
years before you gave me your daughter.  Somehow you knew..." I let it
trail off.
   Tara looked at me with a loving grin and said, "Tom.  I know you were
chasing, but as much as I love you, it just didn't seem right.  Now I know
why.
   I'm very happy to share you with my daughter.  I'm honored that she
feels secure enough in your relationship that she'll share you with me,
though I sensed a bit of insecurity in her query about Marie," she looked
at Deanna with that.
   "I'm ok mom.  I just suddenly had this empty feeling in the pit of my
stomach that there is someone out there that loves Tommy very much, that he
loves too, and she could perhaps waltz into his life again and he'd float
away."
   "No Dee.  That wouldn't happen.  I know both of them very well, and that
just wouldn't happen.  Just like Tom knew all along that Marie "belonged"
to Lisa, Marie would understand that Tom has made a serious commitment to
you."
   "It doesn't mean that he wouldn't want to fuck her brains out again and
that she wouldn't want to have her brains fucked out," Tara said with a
chuckle.  "But that's between you and her if it ever came to that. 
Honestly honey, you have nothing to fear from Marie.  In fact I think you'd
probably like her a lot and could become very good friends, probably Lisa
too.  She's a little tougher to 'reach', but you have the same kind of
personality that Tom reached her with.  I'd also bet you would love
sleeping with Lisa!" Tara said chuckling.
   I nodded my head in agreement because what Tara said was true.  With
Dee's knowledge and permission I would take Marie, and Lisa for that
matter, to places they probably haven't been since I left almost 9 years
ago.  I am just as sure that Dee would also love them and love to make love
to either.  I doubted it would ever be an issue, but then Dee is always
full of surprises.
   Dee, now sitting in my lap, looked up at me, gave me a quick kiss and
with deliberate thought said to me, "Tommy, if Marie ever comes back into
your life and you'd want to have sex with her again, I think that would be
ok with me, but I'd want to meet her first and maybe even participate since
she's bi." The last part was being said as a grin grew on her face.
   "Thank you Dee.  I appreciate that trust, but I don't think Marie will
come knocking at the door any time soon.  She and Lisa apparently have a
good life together and there's no reason upset the applecart."
   "Tommy.  Do you think that Lisa would ever want to have a repeat
performance?"
   "I don't know Dee.  I think it would be the same as Marie.  The three of
us slept together for a very long time.  We loved each other, but not
anywhere close to the same way as you and I love each other.  I don't think
that's something that you ever have to worry about."
   "Honey, I don't believe either will cause any issues with either you or
Tom," Tara threw out.  "I do think that you should consider inviting them
to your wedding as well as Carol and Sheryl.  I can find addresses for them
if you decide you want to do that."
   I looked at Tara and she back at me with a very smug look.  Then she
laughed out loud, she had known all along where the four of them are.  I
guess I shouldn't be all that surprised
   "I'm not all fire sure, but I don't think that would cause any real
problems with the two of you.  I'd guess there would be the possibility
that it could add some sexual adventures to your marriage, but again, that
would be up to you and Tom to decide.  I think that you would come to love
them the same way that Tom and I do."
   Again I nodded my head, gave Dee a quick squeeze, and kissed the top of
her head.
   Tara continued, "Honey, I think it's time we went up to bed and got some
shut eye.  How about you two?  Agree?"
   We looked at each other then at her mother, and I said, "Please join us
tonight.  Not for 'fun', just for closeness."
   Tara smiled, and the three of us got up and walked up to the bedroom,
undressed, climbed into the bed, hugged and kissed for a few minutes and
promptly fell asleep in each other's arms.
   I sure love this life.  Two beautiful women in my bed, one of which will
be my wife in a year or so, and her mother who will be leaving for her last
business trip in a couple months and will be retired at age 32 when she
comes back to take up her place in our home.  Dee and I can't wait to have
Tara around all the time.
   I'm sure to some, our arrangement seems a bit strange, and perhaps by
social standards it is, but it works for us and that's what really matters.
I've never been constrained by social norms as you may already realize.
   Dee and I are attached in more than just a physical and emotional love.
Dee seems to have this power to see the future to a certain extent.  She's
had this way with her mother all along, but now she's reading me the same
way.
   Strangely enough, I'm beginning to read her in that way as well.  Call
it psychic abilities or whatever, it's an ability that I believe we all
have as children.  When we're told that it's impossible, or that it's not
right or other negative crap that adults seem to need to lay on their
children, it wears them down to a point they stop believing it themselves.
Very sad!
   It's mostly because of fear or adults don't understand or have a
legitimate explanation for it and because of that, feel stupid.  Well, if
the shoe fits...
   I've always had these kinds of "abilities" because I accepted them in my
life.  Nobody could tell me that what was happening wasn't real or convince
me that I wasn't having the experiences.  If the adults didn't want to
believe it, fuck them!
   There was a time that I hung out with a whole bunch of like people,
which was quite an experience.  Lisa, Marie, Carol and Sheryl were on the
fringes of that group, but only because of their lifestyle.
   Though their lifestyle was accepted within the group, I don't think the
four of them were overly comfortable with being in a group of straight
people.  It's too bad they couldn't accept the group's unconditional lack
of judgment.  We all accepted people for who they were, not what they did
in their bedrooms.
   They were just 4 ladies in the group, nobody gave a shit if they were
gay or not.  Quite honestly, nobody cared because there was a higher plane
to which they wanted to ascend.  That whole group is a story unto itself.
   When Dee first came to live with me, she was seeing things that were
happening with her mom all the time.  She knew when Tara was going to call
to a point that she almost picked up the phone before it rang.  I saw it
happen all the time, and after I gave her permission to call Tara at any
time she wanted for as long as she wanted it seemed to increase that
clairvoyance.
   I find it to be extremely fascinating to be back into that kind of
atmosphere with Dee and Tara, especially with the strong love we all have.
Dee and I were meant for each other; it's one of those relationships that
would have happened no matter where we had been located.  It's also
interesting that we were introduced while she was so young, and those
depths of love were never diminished in her.  Chasing her mother kept me
close and I think somehow that was also meant to be.
   Tara and I did sleep together fairly regularly, but we weren't an "item"
at any time.  I knew I loved her, and I knew she loved me, but as she said,
it just didn't feel right and the reason is, what was right was Deanna.
   Honestly, I think she knew it all along which is why she had no real
hard issue leaving her with me.  She knew that our love would grow and that
consummating that love was only going to be a small part of our
development. Dee is so secure, then at times so insecure, as she was with
the story of Marie, but she's willing to allow Marie or Lisa into our lives
knowing that there was and is very strong emotional ties between the three
of us.
   I think Dee sees that she can only be more secure in her love and our
relationship if she allows things like that to happen knowing that I'll
always be with her.  Kind of like that old saying, "If you love something,
turn it loose.  If it comes back it's truly yours," or something like that.
   I cannot imagine life without Dee at this point.  I am totally devoted
to her in every way.  If Marie, or Lisa or anyone would come into our lives
and wanted to rekindle past feelings, it wouldn't happen in the way it did
in the past.
   Yes.  I would fuck Marie to within an inch of her life, mine too for
that matter, but I'm forever Dee's.  Marie would sense that immediately, so
I have no worry about that.  Lisa either.  I kind of wonder every now and
then if she's ever had intercourse with a man, but I very much doubt it.
   If Lisa wanted to have intercourse this time, I believe that if it were
a true desire to give that away, that I would accommodate her, very
happily. I'd want Dee to be there to help and probably keep Marie occupied.
   Tara's right though.  I think that Dee would love both of those girls,
and would love to sleep with either on occasion, especially Lisa.  I think
Lisa would take Dee places she never dreamed possible.
   By societal standards, this is a strange arrangement indeed, but again,
it works for all of us.  I can't wait for Tara to be here with us all the
time.  Well, there's no choice, she's got another trip coming up.
   The months of her final "vacation" went very quickly and once again Dee
and I ferried Tara to the airport for one last long duration trip to Asia.
   Tara's head was already at work before we got there, so she seemed a bit
distant, but that helped with the emotions of leaving her daughter again,
even though she knew Dee would be very well taken care of.
   As we approached the security checkpoint we stopped to say our "seeya's"
one last time.  I thought Tara and Deanna would never stop their hug. 
Somehow I think this was the hardest departure of any so far.  I guess
knowing it was the last one and that in 12 or 14 months she'd be here
permanently was an emotional mountain to climb.
   With big tears in her eyes, Tara turned to me, wrapped her arms around
my neck and basically collapsed.
   "Take good care of my baby Tom," she sobbed into my ear.
   "You know I will honey, you know I will.  I can't wait to come to this
airport one more time, next time.  To pick you up and take you to our home,
a home you won't have to leave like this ever again."
   "Oh Tom.  That sounds so damned good.  I almost want to say fuck it and
just turn around and stay."
   "You know you are welcome to do that if that's what you want Tara.  You
do not have to leave on our account."
   "I know, I know.  But I made a commitment to the company that I'd do one
more stint before 'cashing out'.  By doing this, I may be able to cash out
in an even better position, as much as I would rather not; it's not about
the money anymore, it's about life, love, you and Dee.  The money is
already there."
   At this point Dee joined our hug and there were tears around.  She held
our hands for a moment, kissed each of us quickly and without looking back,
went to the security line and proceeded on the last trip, emotionally
probably the longest of her career.
   Tara was having a difficult time holding it together as she did the
usual TSA security checks.  Purse.  Carryon.  Laptop.
   The officer swabbed everything as required and just smiled at Tara
looking for any of the "identifying signs" they look for.  We all know that
they're professional psychologists, so they know exactly what's happening.
NOT!  They're a fucking joke, but that's a soapbox issue for some other
time.
   Tara's so sick of this crap.  Happy that it may be safer to fly, but
unconvinced after seeing what she is able to "smuggle" through the checks.
Nothing toxic, dangerous or illegal, but thing's TSA would not appreciate
having passed through their checks without detection.  See the comment
above about fucking joke.  There it is, times two!
   ----
   At the end of the table she waits for the x-ray machine to spit out all
of her things, including her shoes, so that she can at least continue to
the gate or one of the bars between here and there.
   Her mind begins to wander aimlessly through life as she waits for the
call to board.  It should only be another 10 minutes or so and I certainly
don't need another drink, she thinks to herself.  With that, she picks up
her things and moves on towards the gate for boarding.
   Being in 1st class she'll be called first and be able to settle into her
seat and be ready.  The cabin attendant will bring her the customary drink
before take-off.
   She's tired today.  They all stayed up "playing" much too late last
night, but it would be the last night for her in close to a year if not a
little more.  The project should be finished in 10 months or less, but
there are always loose ends that need to be tied and strings that need to
be routed to the proper places so that the changeover is seamless.
   The Asians seem to be very ready to take over the operation and she has
found a couple of extremely competent "replacements" so she doesn't have
any ill feelings about leaving the company at the end of this project
thinking to herself, "I earned my fucking money on this project."
   She'd been training the persons who were going to take over for her for
the past two years.  She would make sure they were ready and in less than
six months turn it all over to them permanently.  That way she'd be there
for six to eight months for them to ask questions, and deal with any parts
of the program they didn't completely understand.  Since it was a build
cycle every six weeks there would be plenty of cycles for them to manage.
Hell, they do it while she's gone on vacation, and she's never heard any
negative feedback about that.
   Almost as soon as she sat in the waiting area the call for 1st class
passengers came across the loud speaker so Tara gathered her things and
walked over to the gates entrance.
   Recognizing the cabin attendant, she smiled and greeted her with, "Well,
hello Julianne, I see we fly together again."
   "Hi Tara, how are you doing today?"
   "Mixed, I'll explain once were in the air, I know you're busy now.  I'm
in 3A so stop by when you can."
   "I'll do that.  3A is 1st class - I'm working first class again today,
so depending, we can have a good chat," she said looking directly into
Tara's eyes, then whispering only so Tara can hear, "I'm on the whole
flight this time.  Christ, it's over seventeen and a half hours, I'm sure
we can find some time."
   Tara laughed out loud at that, smiled and nodded to Julianne, then
continued towards the plane.  This is going to be an interesting flight -
Julianne is always fun.  Dee's been asking when she'll visit again.
   Finding her seat and stowing her carryon things Tara started settling in
for the long flight to Asia.  One of the other attendants came by to get
the drink order from her and returned almost immediately with her beverage.
   First class is the only way to go Tara thought.  I can't imagine flying
over seventeen and a half hours without being able to stretch out.  The
last time over she was the only person flying in first class so she had
pretty much the run of the place.  Julianne had been the attendant for that
flight and they had had hours to talk.  It was a non-stop gab session, when
Tara was awake.
   She was starting to feel the effects from the 2 drinks she had already
consumed and now number 3 was sitting in front of her.  If she wasn't
careful, she'd sleep the whole flight, but with the exception of missing a
good chat with Julianne she could use the rest.
   Tom and Dee had worn her ragged last night.  Her pussy was still a
little tender from the work out and now, just thinking about last night,
she is starting to get a little damp.
   Tara adjusted her seat back a bit, closed her eyes and tried to relax a
little until take off.  Flying always made her nervous, but she didn't know
why because she really enjoyed going places.
   The alcohol was working its relaxation exercise and Tara drifted off to
na-na land before the cabin door was even closed.
   
  
Chapter 16 - Dee's Insecurity