My Story 39 By Corbin How life tests the endurance, patience, and sometimes faith of one young woman. ********** "What have I become My sweetest friend. Everyone I know goes away In the end. And you could have it all My empire of dirt. I will let you down I will make you hurt." -Trent Reznor ********** Every morning feels the same, my body and muscles resisting my every effort to get up and out of bed. Amazingly, I usually found the energy to go for an early morning walk, but it's always a slow agonizing process of getting to my dresser and gathering my attire together. Anyway, it's the same old routine as usual: Pulling on the dreaded black sports bra, always making the necessary adjustments, but I got used to the feeling of wearing one a long time ago, in typical fashion it compressed my chest and was uncomfortable given my full 'C' breast size, but if I didn't 'the girls' would bounce all over the place (resulting in unpleasant chaffing and bruising) thankfully once I stopped taking 'the pill' my breasts very-so-slightly decreased in size, yeah strange, but it is a possible side effect of taking the pill, causing my breasts to swell slightly which I did not need any more of. Thankfully since going off the pill and changing a little bit in my diet and cardio, I lost even more 'up top' which I was ecstatic about (A little back ground; I went on 'the pill' shortly after my senior year in High School and stayed on it until after I recently got out of College, one benefit was that it helped to significantly curb the effects of my period, the other was I was dating guys and while I never had intercourse with them, I didn't want to take any chances, just in case Dale and I got carried away one night.). Nothing else fancy to speak of, simple long, baggy nylon pants. They were dark blue with a thin white stripe running the length on each side, with a plain, gray tee-shirt to top off this picture perfect image. Getting outside was really most of the battle, because once I was up and out the door I felt totally energized. I would sit on the small patch of grass out front and stretch, further and further I would push my legs out to my sides until I had formed a complete split (that's right folks, even with all of the weight training I do, I have still managed to maintain an incredible amount of flexibility. Something I've always had and gymnastics helped that along). I knew full well if I didn't stretch often my muscles had a tendency to cramp. It's on this particular morning I recall not wanting to push myself as hard as I normally do, which turned out to be a good thing, because even with my really nice running shoes, the hard pavement seemed to reverberate up thru my long legs more so then usual. My pace was slow, still trying to feel for any warning signs from a right leg which tended to be a little stiffer then the left, but none could be found. So now I was feeling really good, maybe I'll jog instead, and like a perfectly synchronized clock my arms took up a relaxed posture at my sides, bent at ninety degrees, but barely moving. My upper body also relaxed as I now fell into my standard pace, neither fast nor slow, but for several miles I maintained the same movements that seemed to take on an almost mechanical motion. At some point during the run I allowed my mind to slip and loose itself in the tangle of events; I guess my hope was that I would emerge emotionally unscathed from everything going on, but as my mind swirled with all the possibilities and complications in my life, my own movements had started to slip and become more energized. My breathing was becoming noticeably intense now, sweat began to come at a faster pace, pouring from every pore as I felt my stride starting to fragment. But on I continued, letting my pace pickup to an incredible speed until my energy reserves began to peak. Harder and harder I pushed myself, as if every movement was an attempt at liberation until finally I had reached my destination. Not to mention I had run out of steam. It was a small Park, located just on the outskirts of the University, slowly I walked in random directions, hands on hips trying to collect my breath, even having to pause and actually bend over a few times, spitting onto the ground. 'Fuck, damn.' I knew I had overdone it and would probably have to walk back to the house. Finally as my breathing started to come down I stood up and glanced around, finding my way to a large clearing in the park. It was there that I observed a group of people actively playing football, but I was having a hard time making out faces from this distance. Curiously I wondered closer and closer, but not recognizing anyone I began to turn. "Corbin!" the voice rang out from behind me. Looking around for its source I spotted this guy waving from the group playing football, it appeared there was some break in the action now. I had to squint thru dripping sweat and barely made out the approaching figure until I in-fact did recognize this guy from school. 'John?' I thought, 'I only knew him casually, but he was one of those people who acted like he was best friends with everyone, even if he had only met them once'. I gave my usual half-hearted wave, it was one of those small little waves that was a friendly hello, but not much more, probably more indicative of shooing a fly away. He didn't get the point as he jogged over to my direction, 'Damn, I was lucky I had remembered his name'. "Hey!" He announced as he ran up "Long time, how have you been?" "Fine and yourself?" I smiled but not overly so, I was careful to measure how much of a smile I give someone, I learned awhile ago that guys seem to think that a warm smile with friendly intent means that you instantly like them and therefore want to go on a date or worse, go to bed with them. "You know, if you want to join us your more then welcome, not to mention you would be a great asset." I picked up on a more then friendly smile as he was also paying me a compliment beyond the mere invitation. By now a few others had wondered over in our direction, 'What the hell?' I thought in frustration 'What am I, some kind of tourist attraction?' "Uhm..." I entertained the thought for the sake of politeness, but shook my head, "...nah, not today." Now I really wanted to get out of here because I felt like I looked like total hell from my run, but I just gritted my teeth and went through the introductions to people I didn't know. There were already two girls playing, the first one I met was very friendly and she had a nice smile; "Hi, I'm Debbie." Her handshake was somewhat meek and she was kind of small and looked like she was getting the worst of it. Dirt smudges were all over her body and her hair was a tangled mess, yet she had a good attitude and maintained a smile, although I could tell she was taking allot of abuse. "The only reason I'm here is because I let my friend..." Debbie pointed to the other girl "...bully me into playing". The second girl, Debbie's friend, was a different story all together. She had the football in her hands and stood with a cocky air, she was tall, lean, with long red hair that was tied around back and tucked into the back of her shirt. She twirled the ball in her hands with a sense confidence while giving me that lingering 'challenge stare' up and down. You see, two athletic women either bond or become rivals, it seemed this redhead was damned determined to go the 'rival' route. I suppose she wasn't pleased with this at all, she was enjoying all the attention she was getting, and having some blonde chic show up was an obvious irritation. Not to mention all the guys began pouring their attention all over me was starting to pluck 'red's' last nerve as her handling of the football became more twitchy. "I'm Carrie" She stated as if forcing herself to keep a civil tone, her arm shot out firmly. "Hello, I'm Corbin." Carrie didn't beat around the bush, she gripped my hand in a firm manner. 'This girl is out to make a point' I thought, so at this point I had to make a split second decision, let her win the handshake or to try and squeeze back? As we disengaged our hands I realized that maybe I had made a mistake in not sticking up for myself. I had in fact chose the more passive route, which only seemed to energize Carrie, the girl now had this triumphant look, feeling she had won the upper hand with our initial encounter. "You sure you don't want to play? We'll go easy on you." Carrie suddenly said. "Next time." I shrugged it away in an attempt to be casual and polite. "I can't wait." Carrie flipped the ball in the air continuing her ongoing banter, but I didn't respond and just said my goodbyes, I could feel Carrie continuing her stare as she walked back to the field and as I turned to leave. You see how drama can be created out of nothing? But this girl wanted to show me she was top female on that field, besides I was in no mood for playing football that day. Normally I get a charge out of plowing down the guys (something they seem to enjoy endlessly) but now I was thinking about the joys of steamrolling over Carrie...soon...soon...my mind spun off into la-la land. John straggled behind until it was just the two of us. "Don't pay any attention to her, Carrie is, well she's a tough girl but she is more full of herself then anything." "It's okay." I tried not to let it bother me. "Hey, you busy this weekend, we could get together." Wow, he did a good job of working that into the conversation. "Thanks, however I am seeing someone now." "You and Robert still together?" He questioned. "We are." I smiled. "Ahhh, I see." He sighed in a somewhat disappointed tone. So finally we said our final goodbyes as I made my way off the field, my head down in isolated thought, the sounds of the game being played behind me grew more and more distant. A quick look over my shoulder, she could barely make out Carrie as she bolted from the crowd, sprinting across the field as the ball lobbed in the air.....she caught it with ease. 'Better this way' I thought as I turned away, 'I don't have anything to prove, I already have enough confusion to deal with.' Finally I could see my street, having pushed myself beyond my normal workout, the light jog back felt a little longer then normal, maybe it was the self induced trance that I had put myself in. Speaking of drama, I snapped out of my little funk as I trudged up the stairs upon hearing the faint sounds of two people arguing. I pushed open the door with a sense of urgency and was surprised to see Sharon walking briskly down the hall from her room, her boyfriend Paul close on her heels. "Look, all I want is an explanation." He abruptly stopped speaking when he spotted me standing in the foyer. Paul was never a big fan of mine, I guess since he was big into athletics, he always felt a bit threatened by me since I could probably out run, jump, lift....whatever he could do, I could do better type of thing. Just a hunch on my part, but he has a cocky chip on his shoulder. So now he's running his hands thru his hair as he nervously seems to try and tone things down a bit; "Hey Corbin,, Sharon and I are..." "Paul was just leaving." Sharon glanced over her shoulder at him, she was obviously irritated and a little upset. "Oh, just like that, no discussion?" he snapped. "We HAVE discussed it, but you haven't been listening, over and over we talked about your job, my job and on and on. You've made your choice and I wasn't included in it." Sharon was shaking her head in frustration, she had already been thru the emotional wringer on this and didn't have anything left to give, I know, I've seen this fight many times over, over the phone, in person, at a party, you name it. "I made the choice that was best for the both of us Sharon, in the long run you'll see." As he continued making his case following her into the living area. That really rubs me the wrong way, when a guy says "You'll see." like they are doing the thinking for their wife or girlfriend and that 'we' are just too dumb to understand what's best for everyone involved. It was kind of awkward for me as I stood there, bathed in sweat and still breathing hard from my pathetic run back to the house. Quietly I tried to navigate out of sight and into the kitchen as they argued. I proceeded to suck down a large glass of water and then tried to sneak to my room so the loving couple could work things out, I just lowered my head and walked towards my room. I hesitated before closing her door, staring down at my running shoes to make sure Sharon was okay because you never know how these 'breakup' arguments are going to go. "Look Paul, we've been over this okay? So just please go! Now!" Sharon pointed to the door. "Not until I get some answers that 'I' am satisfied with!" And that's when his tone got angry, not just mad but hostile, or maybe I was reading too much into it. But that's when I took a step in reverse and turned around, I could clearly see them from my door, which opened up into the living area. And then the words were leaving my mouth as if they had a life of their own; "Hey Paul, maybe some other time would be better to continue this?" I tried to sound calm and even pleasant, but he just placed a cold stair in my direction. "Look Corbin, I know you're concerned, but please let us handle this." He looked back at Sharon, his infuriated expression coming back into play again. I could tell he was trying to muster his most intimidating look, and Sharon's wall of resistance was failing her again and so I took another small step forward. "Paul, Sharon's getting kind of upset." I was still trying to be diplomatic, but I knew it was the right thing to say when Sharon turned and looked up, her expression of gratitude was all the reinforcement I needed. I suspected she was playing up this a bit but I didn't mind coming to her rescue. "And how about you butt out!" Paul snapped back at me, his voice had raised yet another level. "Don't yell at her!" Sharon turned and shouted back at him. See, I told you, she can fire right back when she wants to. "Corbin, just go into your room so we can finish!" He pointed, as if he had some authority over the two of us, but I just stood there, unflinching. "Fine, suit yourself." he snapped when I didn't move and turned his attention back to Sharon. But I didn't let it go and piped up again, "Why are you acting like this? You're only pushing her further away." I tried laying the diplomacy on a bit more, but that just seemed to piss him off even more. "Acting like what?! And why do you keep butting in?!" Paul had never yelled at me like this and I was getting a bit concerned, just a little. I suppose Sharon was dead serious about ending their relationship which was obviously crushing him. But my sympathy only goes so far and if I needed to step in, physically if need be, then that's what I would do. So I took a deep breath and crossed a major line. "I'm butting in because you are acting like a major asshole, Sharon is my friend and you're upsetting her, so now is a good time for you to leave." I stated almost a-matter-of-factly while pointing to the front door. Paul just looked stunned, maybe having both of us mad at him was a bit to deal with, but like I always say, men have fragile egos and their pride gets in the way when they aren't mature enough to back down and make a smart decision. So he had no other card to play and he just snapped back; "Oh really! I should leave? So why don't you make me!" he said with an arrogant smirk. That's when Sharon came around and almost got in his face, "Hey! Your problem is with me! So lay off Corbin!" But again, Paul had a chip on his shoulder, he never could get a handle on how to deal with a woman like me and it annoyed him to no end. "Yeah I know, you work out and all that crap, so you think you are pretty tough, right?" He spat, now zeroing in on me. Honestly, I wasn't scared, actually I've never been scared of fighting of confrontations, odd huh? The thought of me getting into a fight with Paul in my house seemed absurd, but I felt confident because he was out of his element and had no idea what I was capable of. "How did you go to such a big zero of a looser so quickly?" I shook my head in dismay, I was actually feeling sorry for him. That was true, he seemed emotionally in over his head, he had just threatened me to some degree and was loosing Sharon, this normally makes all guys feel like total shit. I just stood there, calm, my eyes never breaking contact with his. "Paul! Are you crazy?! How dare you confront Corbin; It's so god damn OVER you have no idea! Now leave!" Sharon demanded. With nothing left to say I guess Paul shook his head as he turned away, "I'll call you later." He said, trying to sound resilient as he opened the door trying to hold together what little pride and dignity he thought he had left. "Don't!" Sharon snapped, not surprisingly he slammed the door shut. I stepped directly behind Sharon and put my hands on her shoulders, Sharon just turned and gave me a tight hug. "Sorry." I said, yet my biggest concern was how I smelled, being all sweaty and stuff. "I think I'm going to lay down for awhile, still a bit hung over." Sharon looked away as we both backed off. I assumed Sharon was close to being in her room as I started to unzip my jacket, pulling it back and slipping it off my arms, leaving only my sports bra in tact, soaked thru with sweat. I was kind of shocked to look over my shoulder and see Sharon standing a few feet away, just watching me. "Sorry for being all sweaty and stuff." I stuck my tongue out making a 'yuck' face and tossed my jacket in the nearby chair, I did that more from the awkwardness of being watched/studied. "I don't mind." Sharon said quietly running her fingernails over her lips, something she does when the little (and I do mean little) wheels in her head are spinning. I placed my hands on my hips, expelling a sigh while leaning back, stretching my neck and stomach muscles. "Sorry, but my back is killing me." I sighed and then straightened up, "Alright, that's better." Shaking my arms out and trying to relax. "You going to be okay?" I asked, noticing Sharon had this stressed look on her face, I assume it was from everything that just went down with Paul, any case she was just acting weird. "Damn, I just never knew you were so muscular." Sharon said in a tone that I remember making me very, VERY nervous. "Oh yeah? Well, where have you been?" I smiled, not realizing that Sharon was simply looking me over in a new light, how ironic, first David, now Sharon. No matter, Sharon was partially distracted, you know that expression which seems a million miles away. As I've always said, Sharon was bold, outspoken and somewhat brazen in her approach with people and life, so the things that set off my alarms were subtle changes, like how shy Sharon was suddenly acting toward me, how cautious she seemed to be around me lately. In the present tense, I can put all these pieces together, but back in the moment I simply didn't want to think about where it all might lead, or what was going thru Sharon's mind. I'm pretty good and deflecting awkward situations and sat down on the couch, I suspected my sweaty back on the sofa would send Sharon into orbit, she hated it when I would lounge around on the furniture all hot and sweaty from working out. But I was surprised to look up and see her slowly walking towards where I sat, carefully she maneuvered between the coffee table and my knees. I don't know why, but I sat up and forward, bowing my head. Sharon simply placed one of her hands on the back of my head and gently stroked my hair, all the way down to my shoulders in a slow relaxing motion. "Thanks Corbin, for always standing by me." I nearly jumped out of my skin when Sharon suddenly gripped my shoulders firmly with both her hands and proceeded to push me back into the sofa, I just went along with it. I'm sure I had this look of shock on my face as Sharon aggressively seemed to be taking charge. Oh shit, my head was spinning and my heart was racing as my brunette friend was leaning way forward, letting her tan ample bosom hang close in my face, making me take a deep breath. Sharon's left hand came up and cupped my chin firmly, tilting her head upward just enough that our faces were within inches of one another and still my eyes continued to grow wide with fear. "Go take a shower." Sharon sighed with a smile while giving my chin a little tug before leaning away. Her hands returned to my shoulders and she gave my arms a firm squeeze, "Hmmm, so strong, if I was gay I'd give Nikki a run for her money." I just sat there in disbelief at what I was hearing, unblinking as Sharon simply stood up and walked away to her room, with a confident swagger to her stride. I felt like a zombie as I stood and walked into the bathroom, rubbing my head in total confusion with regards to what was going on in Sharon's head. Sometimes when things like this stump me I just get frustrated and angry like some big dummy. 'FUCK!' My mind screamed, getting sick and tired of trying to always figure out what people's motivations really are. In frustration I peeled the sweaty sports bra from my body. The muscles in my forearms and biceps flexed as I again shook my arms to try and relieve some of the tension, letting my head roll around on my neck. As a pleasant distraction I looked at myself in the mirror, it's part of the vanity of exercise, but I enjoy it, watching how my body develops and sometimes I try to stare long enough until I feel like I am looking at myself for the first time. Trying to put myself in someone else's shoes, seeing what they might see, does that make sense? Probably not. Often I like to run my fingers over my lower and then upper abs, something I work so hard for and have a fine set of abdominal muscles to show for it. For some odd reason I thought back to several years ago, to that moment in the locker room with Taylor, 'God, I wonder what ever happened to her?' So many people I lost touch with, except Sharon. Taylor and I didn't speak much after the fight, she had been pretty much humbled, more so by the gossip after the fight. Wild rumors circulated about us fighting in the shower stalls, knocked out teeth, the worse things your could imagine and that's what was spread. I think I'll reveal a little thing I sometimes do, what the hell, like I'll every actually meet anyone on this site...Sometimes I playfully touch and pull on my nipples, it's actually a turn on. And sometimes after a hard workout, I will finger myself to an incredible orgasm, but I was too tired from my run to entertain the idea of getting myself off at the moment.My_Story_39