My Story 38
By Corbin
How life tests the endurance, patience, and sometimes faith of one young woman.

**********

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is 
invisible to the eye."

-Antoine de Saint-Exupery

**********

If any of you find that I am repeating myself as I begin one of my rants...tough 
shit! 

Most of you slackers are probably couch potatoes anyway and willingly watch re-
runs on the TV, so what's the big deal?

As I have probably indicated previously, I love the 'Heat'. No you goobers, not 
the Miami Heat basketball team...but the Summer HEAT! It really irritates me 
when people say things like...."Gee, it's going to be a hot one today."  Oh 
yeah? Really? A hot one? No shit Sherlock! It's summer time...and it's going to 
stay hot for the next few months...SO STOP TALKING ABOUT HOW HOT IT IS! Morons!

I've given up on TV all together, what little watching I did I can no longer 
stomach. The fake 24/hr Cable News Channels, feeding us preprocessed bullshit 
that doesn't matter. Politicians that lie every time they open they're mouths, 
living off the fat of land from some bill they passed in the middle of the night 
so they will be taken care of while the rest of us rot on a corrupt social 
security platform that's regurgitated come every fucking election. Or hold some 
bullshit hearings on Steroids in baseball when no one gives a damn, all the 
while people are dying of diseases as Pharmaceutical companies hold back on 
delivering drugs to the market because it's not the right time financially to 
release it to the market, and because they make more money off of perpetuating 
the myth that they're is no cure for the common cold because they reap so much 
money from selling their crappy over the counter cold treatments.

***WHEW*** I feel better now.

Anyway, life is always catching me off-guard / by-surprise, if you will, may be 
the better phrase. Anyway, my next encounter with the lovely Tasha came right at 
my apartment complex as I came breezing into the downstairs lobby from running a 
few errands. (If you have no clue as to what I am writing about, then you need 
to re-read what I've written up till this point, because I am not going to catch 
you lazy people up with some cheap summary.) 

I think I recall freezing for a moment in shock, our last encounter wasn't very 
pleasant and while she seemed to get along quite famously with Sharon, Tasha had 
developed a real dislike for me.

Tasha gave me a glance over the shoulder as she was heading up the stairs, 
obviously here to see Sharon. Since this encounter was taking place immediately 
after Sharon's little 'talking to' concerning Tasha's attitude problem with me, 
I was curious to see if any of it had sunk in.

While the girl did appear to be biting her tongue initially, her eyes were 
giving me that 'once' over. Our few encounters always included her giving me a 
hard stare-down. Today, my hair was unusually pulled back into a tight ponytail; 
dressed in a pair of sandals, khaki shorts and a snug fitting white t-shirt.  
The past two days were my break days from the gym to let my body rest up and 
rebuild. My muscles were looking pretty well defined and under the tight, white 
shirt, well the term devastating comes to mind (Actually a guy said that to me 
while walking home). I think I may have even flexed my wall of abdominal muscles 
just a little, the thin veil of fabric did little to hide anything...most likely 
it enhanced every attribute.

"Can I help you?" I asked, in a nice tone by the way.

"I just wanted to talk to Sharon." Tasha's voice rose with some level of 
irritation, again she was biting her tongue, but I did sense a slight bit of 
nervousness. Maybe she felt she was on 'my turf' or something.

"Oh really? And is Sharon aware of this little visit, or do you JUST happen to 
be in the neighborhood?" I raised a suspicious eyebrow and stepped forward. 
Okay, at this point I think I had discarded the pleasantries. I started to 
wonder if Tasha's tough act was just that, an act, as I was picking up little to 
no serious attitude at this particular moment...then again we had no audience. 
It was at this moment I decided to escalate my unfriendly, accusatory tone, but 
with the faint click of an upstairs lock, followed by the turning of a 
knob it registered with immediate impact, 'Here comes Sharon' I thought. 

I was disappointed to say the least.

"Hey Corbin, thought that...was...." Sharon came bouncing down the stairs, with 
her big smile, but the words trailed off when she saw Tasha standing there. Her 
expression became slightly grave with concern as she began to quickly asses the 
situation, knowing our past. 

"Just came by to visit." Tasha quickly replied.

Sharon didn't hesitate for a second, "That's fine, it's just I wasn't expecting 
you."

"No, go ahead Sharon its okay, I need to finish up my errands." I interrupted. 
I figured I needed to cool my heels anyway back up in the apartment. I hated 
these 'girl politics' anyway and faked a smile before heading up the stairs, 
trying to slide past Sharon, but was intercepted by a light tug on my arm. My 
head came around and Sharon's stare was fairly probing. Tasha was still watching 
me I could tell. "You ok?" Sharon asked in a lowered voice, her light touch on 
my arm seemed to intensify.

"Yeah, fine, I'll be upstairs." I shrugged, not completely understanding 
Sharon's sudden and very intense concern, in fact I was a little perplexed by 
allot of Sharon's attention toward me lately. Spontaneously Sharon leaned over 
and kissed me lightly on the cheek, which kind of threw me for a moment.
Although we've engaged in stupid girly affections (hugging, kissing and junk) it 
never really seemed to affect me until recently.

I was probably a little stiff towards Sharon because I felt Tasha's bitch 
eyeballs drilling into the back of my skull, evaluating every little thing I 
did.

I slowly shut the door behind me and paced the room trying to gather my 
thoughts.  Falling back on the couch, my hands came up to brush the sweat from 
my face, I was a little surprised to feel a slight tremble in my own touch.

I think I'll become a hermit and go live in the mountains, sounds dramatic I 
know, but it has to beat the heck out of dealing with people everyday.

**********

I bitch endlessly about going to any type of social activity.  Although, once I 
get there I normally have a great time. Pretty screwy huh? But that's nothing 
compared to how much Robert (my boyfriend at that time) would moan and groan 
about going to parties. He was just a bad as I was when it comes to making chit-
chat, but worse. You would think the two of us together would just sit and stare 
at one another in silence :) not true at all.

Anyway, I actually was looking forward to going out to this particular party as 
it was a much needed distraction. So let's switch gears to my main concern at 
the moment, what to wear, I decided on something a bit sexier than my usual 
attire (Something Robert was very opposed to me wearing, anything sexy that is).  
Opening my closet I pulled down a thin, very skimpy silk dress.  Holding it up 
to my body the dress stopped about mid thigh, pretty short but not too-too 
short, I neatly laid that on the bed.  Reaching for the dresser drawer, I picked 
out some white silk panties and laid them down next to the dress and lined up a 
pair of shoes on the floor. It looked almost too good to put on, but I knew it 
would look much better when it was actually on me. :)

The shower was far more relaxing then I could have anticipated, I had to focus a 
little and shift gears, something I had to force myself to do, 'Must get into 
social-mode' I am now telling myself while attempting to primp a little, which 
didn't come so easy for me. Most times Sharon would have to help me with my hair 
and makeup or it would take me forever to finish up. Finally I was ready and 
pulled on my white tong panties, maneuvering my thighs and hips to let the 
elastic material settle in.  Picking up the dress next, I awkwardly slipped the 
dress down over my head and shoulders. Basically it was easy, letting the thin 
fabric fall down and over my hips, with some minor adjustments around the breast 
area. I loved how the pinkish color of that dress helped to accent my tan legs 
and arms.  I have to admit, I felt sexually adventures and daring going without 
a bra and such small panties, especially in such a snug short dress, but the top 
of the dress had enough lining that my nipples wouldn't stab any eyes out. But 
it felt very sensual the way the fabric clung to every curve of my practically 
naked body, and even felt somewhat vulnerable at such exposure, something I am 
not at all accustomed to.

"WOW" Sharon's voice startled me from behind. I couldn't help but smile as I 
carefully applied my lipstick. 

"You look fucking stunning!" Sharon followed-up up while shaking her head almost 
standing directly behind me. 

"Thanks Sharon."

"Are you dressed up because David will be there?" Sharon asked me seriously. 
Nice of Sharon to bring up David <<SARCASIM), she isn't too keen on Robert so 
she is always trying to steer me into the arms of another man.

"I'm dating Robert." I said sternly. Actually I had forgotten that David was 
going to be there, a nice attractive guy, but it's kind of hard to relax when 
some guy has his sights set on you. I figured I was going to get asked out 
formally this time, I had dodged David via phone calls and voicemail, but I 
needed to go ahead and let him know that Robert and I were a serious couple now. 
I also anticipated David might ask why Robert was not with me tonight, no big 
deal, I ran the show in that relationship, so when I wanted to go out on my own 
I would. That by the way is another whole set of issues, my desire for 
independence even when Rob pouted and complained. In fact, I always ran the 
show in a relationship. Bossy, arrogant men I do not date...because I am the 
bossy, arrogant one :).
 
When we finally arrived at the party the first thing I noticed was how elegant 
and beautiful the house was, Sharon wasn't joking when she bragged about this 
place! I mustered my best socializing personality as I made my way thru the 
crowd, my eyes darted around from group to group, unfortunately I had lost site 
of Sharon at one point and was having to fend for myself, something I hated, not 
being a big socialite and all.

I was close to working my way into a group conversation when a hand touched my 
forearm, that caught my attention because of how the touch lingered somewhat, 
which as you probably already know I get agitated when my personal space is 
invaded without prior consent. I was more on-edge than normal due to not knowing 
half the people at this party and I was fighting to suppress the awareness that 
my dress was far more form-fitting then I had anticipated and every male seemed 
to become a horny, heat seeking missile around me. Anyway, I was glad that I 
paused before hacking off the offender's hand because it turned out to be David. 
In a moment of relief I greeted David with a warm hug, something that pleased 
him to no end, so much so that I had to be the one to disengage. 

As I am sure I have already shared this, but I'm going to say it again; I am 
terrible at maintaining a casual conversation that I am not interested in. Call 
it selfishness, a case of attention deficit disorder, but it seems my mind is 
always flooded with too many distractions. I've pissed a few people off while 
chatting with them as my gaze will drift into space or I'll be at a party and 
find swirling the wine in my glass to be more entertaining then the person I am 
speaking to.

Anyway, back to David, it was nice to pair up and chat with him as we made our 
way down a long hallway, looking for a less crowded and less noisy room. Again, 
I was really impressed with this place, the whole first floor had beautiful 
crown molding running along ten-foot ceilings.  Hard Wood flooring throughout 
the entire residence with custom inlaid patterns running along the baseboards of 
every room.  But back to David, he didn't fumble over too many words and I 
reassured him that he didn't need to try so hard to keep me entertained, I'm not 
some mindless girl (even with the burden of being blonde) and that he could zing 
away opinions on politics...life...whatever. I cringed a bit as we passed a 
small group of guys that made no effort to restrain their gawking as I strolled 
by. I shouldn't be so angry all the time, after all I do have on a dress that 
shows off my 'ass'sets so I should expect attention, but the blatant gawking can 
be a bit much.

So, I can be a big flirt sometimes when I want to be, yeah I'm guilty of that. 
David and I strolled into a small den that was isolated from the rest of the 
house, we stopped and stood opposite one another behind a large couch, I rested 
my right hip against the soft leather backing while I slowly rubbed my calf 
muscles together. You would be amazed how little gestures like that get picked 
up on, because several times I watched his eyes dart down to observe my toned 
legs rubbing against one another. 

"So look..." He said while leaning in and putting his left hand on my right 
bicep. Again he is touching me, but I was intrigued by his 'gentle' boldness and 
let him continue to touch, "...will you go out with me?" As I recall, he was 
really leaning in close now. Well, my sensible side decided that the flirting 
had been fun but I do have a boyfriend and needed to put the brakes on this, 
regardless of the mixed signals my body was sending me.

"David," I said with a somewhat sly smile, tilting my head down and away 
from his approaching lips, I really wasn't sure if he was going in for a kiss, 
but better safe then sorry, "Robert and I are serious right now."

"Right *now*?" He sighed in disappointment, his hand still on my arm by the way. 
I just nodded 'yes' and gave a quick glance up into his dark brown eyes.

"What about five minutes from *now*?" He asked and my blonde brain stuttered to 
catch on.

"I...uhh...we....oh...." It took a moment to catch onto his teasing and I 
laughed because at the time it did sound funny. I even blushed some as I sighed 
and took a sip of my wine. Damn, were we standing even closer together now? I 
couldn't be sure, things were heating up and I was just giggling and smiling 
like some fool and now my whole body felt flushed.

"I understand." He said quietly, I didn't respond because he seemed in mid-
thought, but I wasn't at all prepared for what he said next, "But I still want 
you." He whispered, while his touch was still on my right bicep, it did seem to 
slacken a bit, but it was still there, just not clingy which is important to 
realize. He then started stroking my bicep with the back of his hand which had a 
soothing effect, he had paused as if contemplating something more to say. The 
buzz going on in my brain now was definitely not from the alcohol, no it was 
from this erotic moment that seemed to unfold and I felt like it could go on as 
long as I was enjoying it, and that control was a rush. Observing how David 
responded to my actions, or at times my lack of action, was fascinating and very 
exciting.
 
So far he was doing wonderful.

"You're such a beautiful girl Corbin, I can't stop thinking about you." David's 
voice remained low, just above a whisper and he avoided eye contact for any 
length of time. I'm sure if anyone had walked in they would have blabbed to 
Robert, causing me allot of grief and explaining to do. But I was curious to 
where David was going with this? 

I tilted my head to the right and leaned my face close to his left cheek which 
seemed to cause an instant change in the complexion of his skin; 
"Thank you, but I'm also a taken girl too." I said softly and then pulled back a 
few inches as he raised his head, I didn't want to leave my face that close for 
any length of time or he might get the idea I wanted to kiss. As a side note, I 
don't like the word 'taken' in reference to dating a guy, but it seemed 
appropriate, and sounded taunting, perhaps challenging. It was at this moment I 
observed a noticeable shift in his focus, he seemed to dwell on my arms as his 
fingers stroked my biceps and then I changed the game and slowly turned away 
from him while I let a small smile creep out of the corner of my mouth, he 
caught site of that as well. I did turn away with a purpose, I took a couple 
steps towards a small end table and gently set my wine glass down, I just 
remained standing there with my back to him, letting my weight come to rest on 
my right leg so my hips cocked out just a little. It was another subtle move on 
my part and I just waited to see what he was going to do.

So there I stood, playing the part of observer to David's actions and at times a 
willing participant to *our* actions. The hair on my neck was on end and my legs 
and arms tingled as I felt him approach. Maybe it was how quiet he had become 
and I just enjoyed his gentle touches, but it was clear what he was now focused 
on, again he was very smooth in how he pulled it off by placing his fingers 
gently down on my bare shoulders, running them over my triceps, then back up to 
my shoulder and neck. He didn't perform any vulgar moves like pushing the front 
of his body against my back or press against my butt, although he and I were 
slightly brushing body parts at this point, something unavoidable when in such 
close proximity.

I tilted my head to the right and exposed my neck, he went for it and I felt his 
breath over my flushed skin as his lips gently touched down. "You smell 
wonderful." He moaned. I didn't respond, I simply stood and enjoyed the 
transformation my body was going thru, my breasts felt surprisingly full and 
aroused, not to mention my nipples were standing at full attention now, I was 
really regretting not wearing a bra because it was now going to be obvious to 
everyone.

"Is *all* of you taken?" He said softly in-between light kisses on my shoulder. 
There was a part of me that wanted to know where exactly this was going, but the 
thought of betraying Robert in anyway also made me feel ill in the pit of my 
stomach. Still standing in the same spot I started to turn around, essentially 
we were almost face to face now, but he kept his touches light. I had enjoyed 
this moment immensely but decided to draw the line as my right palm came up and 
pressed against his chest, the material of his nice button down shirt felt very 
smooth to the touch, it also felt expensive. That didn't surprise me, David and 
his family had allot of money, another reason Sharon tried to set us up.

I increased the pressure against his chest and he took a step back, he had 
picked up on my signal to provide some more space between us. I think he sensed 
I was putting a chill on our flirting, but that didn't seem to dampen his 
spirits much.

"Yes, and no exceptions." My lips seemed to pronounce the words slowly, 
everything seemed to be moving slowly now as I could even feel the soft 
stickiness of my lipstick. 

He lowered his head and smiled, he looked frustrated that I was now denying his 
Advances on all fronts. I let his fingers keep talking just a little, his thumbs 
grazed over my biceps, down over my forearms. It was as if he was trying to 
communicate his desires thru his eyes and hands.  

"You really do like my muscles?" I said with this sly smile on my mouth and wow 
did his face ever turn beat red. His hands, gently gripped my forearms, running 
his fingers all the way down to the tips of my fingers. 

"Yes" He whispered and couldn't even look me in the eyes now. In some way it was 
like observing a male specimen transform before my very eyes, the more he 
humbled himself thru his desires the more of a turn on it became for me, a 
little bit sexual but mostly psychological. I think for David he was still 
clinging to that male, must remain in control role, and it was emotionally 
troubling to bare his soul, his deepest desires like this not knowing if I would 
simply push him away, leaving him feeling stupid, humiliated and totally wrecked 
for placing so much trust in my hands.

My left hand came up swiftly and cupped his right cheek, this caught him off 
guard and startled him a little as I leaned in and kissed him on the left cheek, 
"Your wonderful David, thank you." And then I pulled away, I turned and picked 
up my glass of wine.

He was struggling to regroup and put on the bravest face he could, but I could 
tell it was breaking his heart that I was shutting the door on anything 
happening between us. No matter, because our moment was abruptly ended when 
Sharon came stumbling around the corner and ultimately David and I said our 
goodbyes while Sharon just smiled that big goofy smile.

A quiet moment passed as we left the house and walked to Sharon's car when 
Sharon suddenly threw her left arm around my shoulders, 'Just a friendly hug? 
Sure that is how I acted, that's what I told myself and that's what I *wanted* 
to believe. But physically things didn't sit right with me, from the subtle ways 
our dresses pressed together, which only seemed to draw attention to how thin 
the fabric was. As a girl, when you find yourself melting under the touch of 
another woman, it really messes with your mind.

So I leaned my friend against the passenger side and stepped away to unlock the 
door all the while keeping an eye on my wobbly girlfriend. Sharon's head would 
tilt off to one side and she would smile, mumbling something incoherent while I 
fumbled with getting the door open. "Okay, lets get you strapped in." As I 
guided Sharon into the seat.

"Hey I'm no retard. I know how." Sharon slurred as she struggled to get 
the seat-belt from me and prove she could buckle herself in. Finally I gave up, 
Sharon could be impossible when she was drunk and I decided to let her figure it 
out on her own, or until she gave up. 

"HEY!" Sharon shouted, "This fucking thing is fucking broken." Sharon's body was 
slumped over as she had missed getting the latch buckled, over and over and 
over. Quickly I leaned over and snatched the buckle out of her hand and snapped 
it together.

"Hey woman! Watch this fucking dress don't wrinkle it!" Sharon snapped, her eyes 
getting more glazed over by the minute. I just shook my head and smiled. Moments 
like this I was thankful I worked out so much and was naturally strong to boot 
as Sharon was little to no help getting her out of the car and up the stairs to 
our townhouse. She was a little better getting up the stairs, but I still felt 
the need to guide her some from behind by placing my hands on her hips, this of 
course got me a smart ass comment for my troubles.

"Hey don't be getting fresh back there." Sharon drunkenly teased.

"You wish!" I snapped back.

At the top of the steps Sharon carefully leaned back against the railing and 
daintily brushed aside her brown hair and gave a sloppy smile, "Nope you wish." 
Sharon leaned forward and teasingly waved a finger in the air towards my nose. 
Like some dork, I just froze and smiled while my cheeks blushed. I admit I was 
freaking out because I thought that maybe she could read my mind for a minute. 
So here I am, helping Sharon get undressed and into bed, which I've done many 
times before when she been intoxicated and she's done for me in return. But now, 
my mind is paying attention to things like her silky smooth skin, perfectly 
manicured fingernails, the smell of her dress as I pull it off her body and her 
beautifully formed body that slowly rolled out of view and under the covers. 

It was hell!

Reaching for the bedside lamp, I was quickly jarred back to reality by a picture 
on the night-stand, it was of her boyfriend Paul. Although things were not 
going well between them as he was getting more possessive and wanted her to move 
out of state with him, I couldn't help but think her future was with him and I 
need to set aside these bizarre urges. What happened next absolutely blew me 
away, Sharon seemed dead asleep but her right hand reached over and slapped the 
picture down, damn near breaking the glass. "Asshole" She mumbled and cracked 
open an eyelid as I stood hunched over, paused in shock.

"Fuck'em, self absorbed bastard, it's over anyway." Sharon closed her eye again. 
I just stood up and patted her on the head, a little unsure how to end on this 
sudden change in her tone. I guess she saw me staring at the picture and felt 
the need to vent. "Don't act surprised Corbin, you know he's been pushing for 
things to change." Sharon mumbled as she drifted off to sleep.  All I could do 
was turn out the light, closing the door behind me, not even thinking that 
anything tonight would mean a thing, given Sharon's condition that is.

It felt good to be in my own room as I sat down at my desk and slipped off my 
heels and slowly began to massage my feet. Hmmm what a foot massage can do for 
ones attitude, I plucked the earrings off and laid them neatly on the desktop. 
Sitting in the quiet solitude of my room I took a few minutes to wonder about 
things and looked at the clock.

'Robert, Sharon, and Nikki' My mind spun around about those closest to me and 
the decisions I would have to make soon.




  
My_Story_38