My College Years Part 31

By Corbin

How life tests the endurance, patience, and sometimes faith of one young woman.
 
**********
 
Back when I first started working at The Nursery, I was shocked when a truck 
would pull up around back to have plants or whatever loaded and the driver would 
get out and say;

"Could you go up and see if one of the guys will come back and give me a hand 
loading this?"
 
The first time that happened, I sort of just stood there in a state of shock, 
like...what the hell am I? It kind of hurt my feelings ya' know.
 
"That's what I am here for." I said in a cold manner back at him.
 
"Oh...okay..." He sort of hands me the yellow order slip, but I could tell he 
was hesitant to do it. Then he says, "Here let me help you with that, kinda' 
have a bad back, that's why I asked if one of the guys up front could help." 
 
So let me see if I understand this jackass, he is now pulling the old martyr-
bad-back complaint, just so he can make another dig at me because I tell him 'I 
am all the help he needs?' Well I was no longer ready to cry, but now fuming 
mad...down right pissed off...so I stand up and touch him on the shoulder and 
say, "Why don't you just get up in the truck and I'll throw them to you and you 
stack them any way you want."
 
He kind of stares at me funny and then awkwardly climbs up into the bed of the 
truck. I then proceed to toss him the bags faster then he can keep up until he 
snaps "Hey! Slow the hell down!"
 
To which I shout back, "Why? Are you so weak and slow you can't keep up?" So 
great, I'm expecting to get fired because I'm betting he's going to run up and 
complain to my boss, and I've been on the job for only about a week now. But 
instead, I'm surprised...it sometimes takes allot to surprise me because the man 
(maybe in his late 40's) just makes this kind of smirk and says "Okay, you got 
me there." I knew what he meant and he was basically admitting he was wrong for 
what he had insinuated earlier. Now (and I have a big smile on my face as I type 
this) he requests that *I* help him load his truck every time be pulls up. Even 
if someone else happens to be around back, he'll ask "Could'ya go get Corbin for 
me?" (Imagine your best hick accent while reading that).
 
**********
 
'Get a life!'
 
So this happened at the gym the other night: 
I am becoming infuriated as I sit on the workout bench, pushing a pair of 
dumbbells up into the air (I guess there are those that want to know HOW MUCH I 
was pushing? I get emails asking for details like that. Gheesh...65lbs...there! 
Happy now! And that's a piece, not the combined weight). Anyway, you see this 
bench is on about a 45 degree incline and my shorts are giving me grief. I have 
just noticed that the flap on my right thigh is wide open giving everyone who 
happens to look at me a free peep show, although a very, very small one. 
 
One...two...three guys are looking at the mirrors that line the wall, looking at 
just the briefest of my white panties peaking out. Now I always wear those long 
thigh length, loose shorts for good coverage, but for some reason this pair has 
worked it's way up my right thigh and a flap now lays open exposing a bit of my 
personal area (again, a very little bit). I mean normally it's no big deal, 
people are always bending, squatting, pulling....something in the gym with 
shorts on, so every once in awhile both men and women give each other an 
unintentional flash. (Then there are those that dress provocatively in the gym 
with the intention of flashing, but that's another rant...or have I already 
vented on that?)
 
So anyway, this little exposure is going on longer then I like because I am not 
willing to set the weights down, I've only got a few more reps to do and I don't 
want to stop. Yet my mind is drifting; 'Well you clowns, just a small wiggle of 
my butt and shift of my leg will fix that.' So I rotate my butt on the seat and 
bounce my leg up and down a couple of times, all the while I try and keep count 
of my reps. DAMN!! That no-good-lousy-rotten-blankity-blank flap now opens up 
even more!! And I'm trying to multitask while pushing the weights up into the 
air...AHH DAMN!!! I've lost count now and my fucking underwear is visible, right 
up to my crotch, now one...two...three...FUCKING FOUR guys are now checking it 
out. Not the whole area mind you, but enough that you could still see some of my 
undies.
 
I swear I am going to kick all their asses in a minute. That's it! The whole 
routine is ruined and I gently set the weights down. (That's another rant, about 
people who are incapable of setting weights down, but feel they must DROP them 
hard enough for the whole gym to feel and hear. God I hope you hit your big toe 
one day and bust it wide open, don't worry I'll be right there LAUGHING!!!)
  
Okay deep breath ahhhh all better now :)
 
Anyway, I sit up and the flap closes, what a pain and I give a quick glare up 
into the mirror and this guy sees me looking. He turns around and starts to 
fiddle with some weights, trying to play off he just got caught. Some guys don't 
care if they get caught, that's because they have no class.
 
**********
 
Did I consider struggling? Well yes, DUH! But you know...after last night and 
still feeling a bit crappy, I just gave up. 'Fuck it, let's get it over with, I 
give up and let my whole body go limp.'
 
"What? No fighting this time?" One of the girls said and several more laughed, 
that nervous laugh cause they know if I decided to start fighting someone better 
call 911.
 
"Blue? Pink? Futia?" Several girls were now arguing over color as they dragged 
me thru the dark locker room, the flashlight actually doing an adequate job of 
illuminating our way to the wash room. They spun me around and every once in 
awhile enjoyed blinding me with that stupid light. I did get a bit nervous as I 
felt the back of my neck touch down on the edge of the cool porcelain sink, 
cause now I realize that in a few seconds my blonde hair would be gone, 
temporarily mind you, but still, it was very unnerving.
 
"No smart ass comments? No fighting? Nothing?" I heard Mora's voice pipe up.
 
"No, let's just get this over with." I sighed, "Just get that damn light out of 
my eyes!" I did finally complain.
 
"Shut up!" Said one girl.
 
"I prefer blue If I have a choice." I sarcastically said, rolling my eyeballs up 
towards Katie's smirking face as she snapped the rubber gloves into place. And 
then Mora suddenly stepped up taking her place, with this big evil grin on her 
face; "I'm going to enjoy this!" as she held up a bottle of hair bleach and 
several packets of Kool-Aid. Yeah, that's right Kool-Aid, don't you people know 
anything? For freaky colors you can actually use Kool-Aid if you so choose (just 
make sure it's the sugarless packets)

Suddenly Mora paused and glanced up and over away from me, to someone standing 
to my right, it was Nikki. "Oh, I'm sorry Nikki, would you like to do the honors 
on your lesbian lover?" She laughed out loud along with several other girls. How 
embarrassing! I closed my eyes and tried not to cry, not from the comment but 
because of how tattered my friendship with Nikki was...we were barely on 
speaking terms at the moment.
 
But I was shocked to hear Nikki snap, so unlike her; "Shut your fucking mouth!" 
and Nic's right hand lashed out smacking Mora upside the face, with a solid 
*POP*, again very unlike her. And boy did that set off a ruckus, with Mora and 
Nikki now trying to get at one another, all the while I just lay there, head 
back in the sink waiting. Most of the girls were now fighting to separate the 
two girls. I suppose I could have easily broken free at this point, but I was a 
little in awe of the flurry of arms and wild punches being thrown only inches 
above my head. 'Hey watch it!' I'm thinking, those elbows and hands are coming 
pretty close to my perfect nose! Errr...semi-perfect :) 
 
Finally, order was restored only after the two girl's swore out their vengeance 
on one another, 'Mora is such dead meat' I thought, messing with Nikki is not a 
good idea, but then again Mora likes learning things the hard way. Well, after 
that intermission, Mora roughly grabs my hair and begins working it in, over and 
over, dumping tons of the shit on.
 
"OW! OW! OW!" I complain as she shoves my head around and keeps pulling at my 
hair a lot harder then it needed to be.
 
"Shut up!" She keeps yelling and yanking on my hair harder.
 
"Oh, this is going to be so you." Several girl's smile.
 
Well, can you believe it, I just laid there and took it, they bleached my hair, 
let that soak in and then applied the mix of Kool-Aid, then wrapped a towel 
around my head forcing me to sit in the locker room with them for the next 
couple of hours. It was the most ridiculous thing you ever could imagine. MY 
heart was racing not knowing what to expect when that towel was removed. The 
other odd thing was the way everyone treated me, it was like by me going thru 
this all of the division and hostility started to lift. Everyone was joking and 
chatting it up like we were one big happy family. Yeah great, while I sit there 
with a towel wrapped around my head, every once in awhile some freaky color 
seeps out and runs down my forehead and neck, much to everyone's amusement.
 
'Glow in the dark Pink' is the only thing that comes to mind, I'm not even sure 
how to describe that color. It was like a mix of strawberry and something 
else...but it came out pretty wild looking. I didn't even look like the same 
person. I looked like a freak!
 
"Now Corbin, if anyone on this team sees you trying to hide your hair under a 
hat, we will keep jumping your ass and coloring your hair for the rest of the 
year got it?" Katie smiled. The point being, they wanted the whole campus to 
know what happened, along with the pleasure of all the snickers...comments and 
such. I got heckled by fellow students, professors, you name it. I took it all 
in stride, I walked with my big, pink head held high for all to see. 
 
'That's right, I have pink hair, so what!'
 
"AHHH I'M BLIND!! How many times did I hear that retarded comment? Too many 
times. Well, slowly but surely my blonde hair began to reclaim it's territory 
and I had started to let it grow out long again. And if the Pink hair wasn't bad 
enough, I had people giving me 'Adult Depends' diapers for presents all the 
time, in reference to my accident at the party, that was in fact pretty funny. I 
would open my Dorm room and a box of diapers would be sitting outside my door.

BASTARDS! God I loved them.

Dale and I dated casually but it was not to the extent he wanted or hoped for. 
It actually messed with his head terribly, to the point I was stopped by one of 
the Assistant Football coaches on campus one day, he pretty much insinuated that 
it would be good for Dale and the Team if we could work things out. So, let me 
get this straight, for the sake of the Football Team, Dale and I should be a 
couple again? I'm surprised he didn't come straight out and tell me to give up 
my virginity on the eve of one of their big games. It would really boost Dale's 
performance and confidence!

**********
 
I did something one weekend that really caused a stir. But I need to give you 
the setup:
 
I was taking a computer class, I hated it, but it was very basic, very easy, but 
a core requirement, you know, junk like 'This is a mouse', 'This is your 
keyboard', 'Now we are going to copy a file.' Well, I am just your basic user, 
someone actually speaking about the inner workings of computers can send me into 
an instant coma. Well anyway, the point of me bringing this up is because that 
class is where I met Chris. This was about a few months after Dale and I had 
officially split, and I was fed up with the frat boys, muscle worshipers, gym 
dorks and whatever guy that hit on me. I did not have a boyfriend or date anyone 
seriously after Dale, classes were getting damn hard anyway and I valued my 
private time now more then ever. Not to mention that my relationship had totally 
crumbled with Nikki where we had become almost passing strangers. THAT really 
messed with my mind for awhile.
 
So there I was, sitting in my 'puter class, when we were told to pair up with 
someone. The project we would be working on would require a partner over 
the next several weeks. So I am sitting there, in my standard 
attire of sandals, running shorts, and tee shirt. All that coloring had just 
about washed out by the way, so anyway I look to my right and there is Tony (he 
was a real dork, tried to dress cool, wore stupid caps on backwards, and talked 
to me non-stop and a Frat boy *GROAN*. To my left was Chris, Chris is the kind 
of guy that gets lost in a crowd, wears glasses (could use an updated pair btw) 
and is shy...very shy around girls. He was a Freshmen while I was Junior, I 
could also tell he still had some residual High School issues. Like he was not 
popular in school, had a small circle of friends and most definitely did not 
have a girlfriend. (Gheesh, listen to me, like some expert here! I could 
probably be describing myself to some varying degree. But in the three years I 
was exposed to allot of things. And I was a terror in the gym more then ever, 
like that means anything.)
 
So I see Tony turn to me and open his mouth, I know what's coming, he is going 
to ask to partner up with me for this project. Hell with that! I had other ideas 
and jerk my head to my left and whack Chris on his right shoulder with the back 
of my hand (lightly) and say, "You want to be my partner?"
 
Both Tony and Chris were stunned, but for very different reasons. Tony was 
dumbstruck because his plan was totally shattered when I blew him off. Chris was 
dumbstruck like he was having some panic attack and literally sat there for a 
second (Come on, you can do it kid, just pronounce that word 'Yes' I know you 
want to). I think when a guy (like Chris) is confronted by a girl asking them to 
do something together, they panic, but his lips seemed to open and close several 
times as if he was trying to manually start his vocal chords when finally;
 
"Yeah...yes....okay..." He was now staring at me, still staring at me, gheesh 
I hope I didn't make a mistake here.
 
Hahahaha! Boy was Tony pissed! He also thought I was playing hard to get too and 
after class walked right up to me in front of Chris inviting me to a Frat party. 
Chris was not a member of any Fraternity or sports, or anything I think. I think 
he just went to class and that was it. Anyway, he looked intimidated by Tony.
 
"No Tony." I gave a little glare and saw Chris tentatively approach me. Now 
wait, it seems like Chris is more intimidated by me then Tony, I'm like three 
inches taller then Chris in sandals and I am in a hell of allot better shape. 
Poor guy could use some gym time, put some muscle on his lanky body. Not a bad 
looking guy over all, dark brown hair, parted on the side and cut short. His 
clothes were also a little bit outdated, but let's not even go there because I 
am probably the bigger fashion victim.
 
"Did you still want to get together on the project?" Chris asked. Now I wonder 
what made him think I had changed my mind between the fifteen minutes I asked 
him in class and now, standing outside of class? How odd, like he almost was 
expecting me to blow him off.
 
"Yeah absolutely!" I just smiled, but he still looked at me funny, like from 
the way he was clutching his back pack and looked so stiff and nervous.
 
"I'm Corbin by the way." Just to formally introduce myself although we already 
knew each other's names. I gave him a firm shake of the hand, had to be careful 
I just about crushed his poor hand, he must have been very nervous cause his 
hands were a bit damp, a little clammy maybe? But not too bad.
 
So, would it be over the top to think he was a little star struck? Ah, well 
maybe he was, I mean in his eyes I must have been this superstar; Popular with a 
large circle of friends, athletic soccer team member who used to date some big 
shot Football player. Well that might be his view of me, but in my eyes I was 
just a dorky girl who liked lifting weights. Everything else was excess baggage.
 
"You have plans tomorrow night? We could meet at the library?" I asked.
 
"Tomorrow's Friday, you sure?" Chris seemed to almost gasp.
 
"Yeeeahhhhhhh." I raised my eyebrows like I am actually NOT clueless, "I know 
it's Friday." I smile a little. Maybe he thought I automatically had plans 
for a Friday night, wow this guy is so nervous around me, it's kind of 
cute...right now, but might get annoying if he keeps it up.
 
Now, let's clear the air about something, I did have some ulterior motive here. 
Dale and a few other guys were keeping tabs on me, even though I wasn't dating 
any of them. Tabs as in; Where I went, what parties I attended, when I went out 
with the girls from the Soccer team and so on. And then, *POOF*, those guys just 
happened to show up at the same place. I definitely would not classify them as 
stalkers, but I think some of these guys wanted to socialize with me...then date 
me, a method to the madness you see. So they would coordinate their social 
attacks, pretty funny, the same crap that women do. Oh yeah, I had some women 
chasing me cause of the Nikki rumor which wasn't a rumor as you well know. So 
anyway, my ulterior motive was to send all these people in my immediate and 
distant social circles into a tizzy by hanging out a little with Chris. But 
Chris is a decent, nice guy so I wanted to be careful with his feelings, as long 
as he doesn't turn out to be some kind of freak!
 
"Who's Chris?" Was the question that I got peppered with by everyone. 
 
"My Computer Lab partner" I would say casually, and that was the end of it. For 
now....hahaha!
 
That Friday night I met Chris. I was on time and he was early, but had this 
twitchy look going on, like thinking I might not show up. Lordy, this poor guy 
has either been used/played by girls, picked on in school his whole life or 
both...and many more. He constantly had his defenses up.
 
Well, I'm going to help build his confidence up! I think? :) We'll see.
 
So we find a study room to work in and begin mapping out our project. I felt bad 
because I found out he lives at home and had to drive all the way into school to 
meet me at the library.
 
"Hey, I could meet you at your house if you want?" I suggested and his face got 
flushed. 'Please tell me he's not going into cardiac arrest!' I worry.
 
"You sure?" he asked, voice barely above a whisper.
 
"Yeah, it's only fair, cause you drove all the way out here."
 
"It's no problem." He said meekly. 

All the while I could tell he was looking at me, my legs, arms and chest, 
checking me out if you will. I don't think he was even focusing on my 
muscles...yet, he was still amazed an attractive girl was interested in talking 
with him, sitting only a couple of feet from him.
 
So we spent the last half hour, till almost 10:00pm, talking about a little bit 
of everything, my sports activities, High School, some politics. He asked about 
the pink fringe around my hair and I told him about my little initiation at the 
hands of my Soccer buds. He laughed, he had a nice laugh now that I think about 
it.
 
I blew his mind when we stepped out onto the sidewalk and I said, "So write down 
directions to your house and I'll come over some time this week." He couldn't 
whip that paper out fast enough, it was pretty interesting, the way his hand was 
shaking a little as he wrote it down.
 
Initially, I think it might have been a bad decision to go over his house, it 
was definitely making this look more then it was. I remember pulling up into the 
drive way of this rancher style brick house, pretty nice. Well maintained yard 
(foreshadowing here folks of my gardening days to come) It was getting late, 
sun was setting behind the line of trees and then I catch site of this car 
rolling down the road, but now it's slowing down and it's a car load of guys. 
'What the fuck are you looking at?' I stop and watch to see what their problem 
is. They creep on by looking at me like either they just like the view or maybe 
they know Chris and having some girl, like me, showing up at his house is very 
uncommon, or just a non-occurrence all together. Yes, take a good look fella's, 
this tall blonde is heading up to your buddy Chris' house, but not for what you 
think...but go ahead and fantasize.
 
Now, why did I think this could have been a bad decision? Well for starters, his 
parents greet my like some visiting Dignitary, warm smiles, chatty, very nice 
parents in all. I actually wanted to say 'Hold on, I am NOT his girlfriend, we 
are just doing a project together.' Gheesh, before I left that night I think 
they were planning our wedding or something.
 
So, while I was over there, I did enter hallowed ground a boy's bedroom. I 
didn't stumble upon any embarrassing items/articles (porn magazines, 
videos...whatever). Chris did start to act a little awkward around me at times, 
because I am not sure if he was properly coping with the vibe I was putting out. 
I had not given him any romantic or flirtatious cues, but look, I know how it 
is, a guy's little sex drive engine is always running...always, so I may sitting 
back talking about finishing this paper, but he is looking at my ass...wondering 
what it would be like to kiss me...hold me...so on.
 
Our next meeting, I invited him back to my Apartment (Yeah, I skipped a short 
period of time where Sharon and I got an apartment together, out with the dorm 
room!). With that act alone, word was going to get out, not only that, it was 
going to get back to Dale and others. Maybe that was my ultimate goal, snubbing 
my nose at guys, girls, friends and anyone that had started to pigeon hole me 
into their social structure. Perhaps a part of me was also trying to send a 
signal to some people that they needed to move on with they're lives. I don't' 
know, read into that what you want.
 
So Chris was a nervous wreck in my apartment, not sure what to say or do, he 
fumbled with his thoughts, although he was in far better shape now then he was 
first around me. But he seemed sharp enough to realize I wasn't putting out any 
physical vibes, so he didn't try and put the moves on me.

God help him when he meets Sharon.
 
**********
 
So, I remember sitting outside one day and here comes Dale. 'Let the games 
begin!' cause he's walking towards me with a purpose, 'oh he must have something 
on his mind!'
 
He gets within earshot range when he pipes up; "Who's this guy your seeing? 
Chris? Is that his name?" Blah blah blah blah he goes on.
 
"It's none of your damn business and Chris is my FRIEND, jackass!" Wow, calling 
him a jackass sent him into neutral for a second as he didn't expect me to be so 
hostile towards him.
 
"Well some consideration would have been nice!" He snaps.
 
"Why?" I say in a flat tone.
 
"Cause I am your ex!" He stammers.
 
"I don't report to you Dale, got that!" Now you see? Yes I am using Chris to 
instigate this confrontation with Dale because he still hasn't gotten it thru 
his head that he and I are over. Although he can understand it verbally, it just 
hasn't sunk in yet.
 
"You went to his house, he's been to YOUR APARTMENT CORBIN!" He starts yelling, 
now drawing the attention of a few distant students.
 
"Not shit Sherlock, I invited him, remember?" I groaned. "Dale don't you think 
it's about time you got on with your life, don't you have some other poor girl 
in your sights you should be harassing." I flip down my sunglasses and groan as 
I stand up. But, that was a particularly hash statement, I could see the pain on 
his face from what I just said.
 
"Why are you doing this?" He sighed.
 
"Cause you won't let go, we could be great friends Dale, we used to be." I 
started.
 
"I don't want to be friends Corbin, I've tried, but I can't. It still kills me 
to think about you with another guy." He looked down at the ground and frowned, 
taking a deep breath.
 
"Dale," I touched him on the right shoulder, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have 
said what I just said." I paced a little and thought about what to do as I felt 
him watching me, in what I can only call a moment of fondness for what we had 
and maybe what could be again one day, I walked up to him and hooked my right 
arm around his left.

"Let's walk for a little okay." I said.

"Okay." He whispered.

I just wanted Dale and I to be together for a few mintues, to pass some time 
together quietly and enjoy each other's company like we used to do. He reached 
down for my right hand and I let him hold my hand while we walked for awhile, 
with me leaning against him. We didn't talk much, and that was perfect because 
it was what I wanted. Maybe it was a mistake to do this, because any sign of 
affection at all would cause hope to grow within Dale that we could rekindle our 
romance. I did always leave the door cracked just a little.

Sharon was shocked to see Dale walk into the apartment with me and quickly 
pulled me aside asking if we were back together. I told her no, but I did want 
to salvage my friendship, if that was possible.

We had a really sweet heart-to-heart talk that night, we held one another and 
even kissed some, but I made it clear that we were not back together, yet I  
whispered that I would take his feelings into consideration from now on because 
he is so special to me. He told me he missed my old Dorm Room, and I smiled 
because I knew what he meant, we had allot of fond memories there, some really 
good times when we were still dating.

**********
 
It was close to the end of the semester and the project was done, finished! 
A++++++ :)

So, anyway, I suggested a movie as a way to celebrate, I think Chris saw it as a 
date. Oh well, I did dress-up some, short skirt, low v-cut shirt with some 
makeup and lipstick. We looked an odd pair to some degree, everyone was used to 
seeing me date guys taller, with some athletic orientation. Chris was none of 
the above, shorter then me with a slight geeky look going on, so we got stares 
from my friends who were also at the movies that night as Chris and I sat 
together. I could tell he seemed awkward around me, he had no 'moves' or 'cool 
lines' he just had no confidence around girls. That' okay, I didn't mind towing 
the line thru our friendship.
 
We pulled up to my apartment complex and I was ready to blurt out my usual 
'Thanks for the ride, see ya' later!' and jump out. But I had a moments 
thought, errr UH-OH overload, blonde brain now attempting to think *crunch*  
*grind* *sputter*

"Want to come up for a second?" I asked.
 
"Sure" He said and smiled a little. I walked up the stairs and got my keys out, 
Sharon wasn't home so I didn't have to worry about her. He did a nervous pace 
around my bedroom until I sat on my bed and folded my left leg over my right.
 
"Chris, come here a second." I said softly, and patted the bed with my left 
hand, indicating it was okay for him to sit next to me. Like walking on egg 
shells he slowly took a couple of steps and sat down next to me, nervously 
folding his hands in his lap, then unfolding them, he was nervous...very 
nervous.
 
"Thanks for working with me on that project, I had a good time." He sighed and 
glanced over at me for second before looking away.
 
"I had a good time, it was fun...well, as fun as computers can get I guess." I 
smiled and he even laughed a little.
 
"Hey, let me see something." And I reached up with both hands, he stiffened a 
little, like a scarred mouse, but I smiled and told him to relax, just wanted to 
see what he looked like without his glasses.
 
"Hey, you look great, you should maybe get contacts" I said.
 
"Yeah?" He said and blinked a few times, even squinting some. Okay, now I have 
to be very careful here because I've never done this before and I didn't want to 
mess this up, nor scramble this guys poor brain beyond repair.
 
"Chris?"
 
"Yeah?" He was breathing a little heaver now, the moment was pretty intense for 
him I think.
 
"I think you're a good guy." I almost said 'nice', but that is not something any 
guy wants to hear so I substituted 'good'.
 
"Oh, thanks, and I think you a wonderful girl." He said with a nervous chuckle. 
Well, that did make me blush some so I took a deep breath to clear my head.
 
"I'm going to tell you something and it's important that you understand, 
okay?" I said.
 
"Sure, go ahead" He said, his smile a little forced now, not sure what I was 
going to drop on him.
 
"I think of you as a great friend. You understand that right." And I focus on 
his eyes, face, body language to make sure this is getting thru.
 
"Yeah I know Corbin." He said, but the tone was tainted with disappointment, 
he was trying to put on his best 'face', but I knew he was hoping for more. 
Also, I think he has been on the receiving end of many rejections. As well as 
the 'You're a nice guy.' speech, so I'm sure he thinks nice guy's finish last 
and all that garbage.
 
"I wanted to say that up front so that you don't misunderstand what I'm going to 
ask you, okay?" 
 
"Okay" He said, now with a look of intense curiosity and I stare at him a few 
seconds longer, to which he finally nods 'yes'. When I feel like he gets my 
drift I then move on to my next question;

"Have you ever kissed a girl?" 
 
He sits stone faced for a second, looks a little pale and I think he is even 
sweating now. So, is he going to bullshit me or tell me the truth, he seems to 
be contemplating something when his lips get really tight, now his whole face 
looks tense as he looks away, back down to his lap. 
 
"Nope."
 
That was it, a simple short, very quick 'Nope'.
 
"I don't want you to take this the wrong way Chris, okay, because what I said 
about me considering you to be a friend and only a friend still holds true, 
Okay?"
 
"Okay" he whispers as he keeps looking down at his lap, I think expecting me to 
kick him out of the apartment now. But his head slowly comes around as he sees 
me shift my body on the bed so I am a little more angled towards him.
 
"Now, I want you to turn towards me some, bring your right knee up on the 
bed, like this..." and I start grabbing and moving his shoulders and push and 
pull on his legs to set him up. He is looking totally confused as I pretty much 
move him around like a piece of furniture.
 
"Comfortable?" I ask.
 
"Yeah" he looks as me kind of awkwardly, a nervous smile flashing on his face 
some. With my left knee up on the bed, my skirt is kind of hiked up my thighs, 
but that's okay, I don't think I am flashing him with my underwear. Now I'm 
blushing a little as I try and set this up, and he's getting nervous, cause he's 
breathing a bit faster now and looks a bit flushed. I take his left hand and 
pull it over towards me and place it on my right hip while pulling his right 
hand up to my shoulder. 

Chris doesn't even ask why, what, anything he is just totally trusting me...I 
think he has a few suspicions but just seems to be totally going with it.
 
"Now, how would you kiss me?" I say with a smile. UH OH, he looks like he is 
going to have a panic attack now! "It's okay." I say and smile some more. I can 
feel his fingers trembling, in fact his whole body is shaking a little and I 
think I better take charge. 

But then slowly he starts to lean in.
 
"Close your eyes." I whisper when he's about an inch from my face.
 
"Sorry" He gasps.
 
"Is okay" I smile and feel his lips on mine for a second, he's got soft lips, 
but he simply pulls away, now looking and feeling even more stiff.
 
"Like that?" He asks. Wow, he is shaking like a leaf now.
 
"Well, not exactly."
 
"Sorry." He sighs in frustration, and for a second looks like he wants to cry.
 
"Hey, hey...." I softly stroke his cheeks with my hands, "Just relax okay. 
You've heard that song by Aaliyah 'Try Again'?" I ask.
 
"Yeah" He smiles.
 
"Well...try again!" I smile. Slowly he comes in and presses his lips against 
mine and I whisper into his mouth, 'Now relax okay?' And I softly caress his 
shoulders and arms.
 
"Okay" he gasps and I lean away from him, studying his body language.
 
"Just go slow..." I say while pulling back some more, "...take your time, I 
can't speak for all girl's but try and find a complimentary rhythm with your 
partner and you'll want to softly stroke my arms and back." I smile 
reassuringly. Normally, this would NOT be allowed, I don't casually kiss anyone, 
but Chris was my pet project :) so a little light petting was in order.
 
"Okay" he chuckles. I give him a few pecks on the lips and can tell he is 
breathing hard, I wasn't trying got tease the guy, just help him. Basically, I 
was trying to get him to open up and relax. Instead of clutching onto me 
for dear life, I told him that he needed to observe and be responsive to what I 
was doing, in essence to what *his* date was doing...and yes there were times 
when you would want to 'Take Charge!'.
 
No *real* kissing took place, like I said, no open mouth stuff, I don't go for 
that, way to personal. But I think I needed to give a few pecks on the lips to 
Chris so he can at least say he's kissed a girl.
 
"So there, see, not so hard." I smile.
 "Thanks Corbin." And the kid seems ready to fall apart and cry so I pull him 
into my arms and hug him, to which he then begins to quietly weep some, just 
holding me. He tells me it's the most wonderful thing anyone has ever done for 
him. Why am I always making guys cry? Gheesh.
 
"Well, I'm no expert, but I think you'll do just fine." I smile and stand up. He 
tearfully thanked me again and again as I walked him to the door. I gave him a 
hug goodbye.
 
Chris is a nice guy who deserves a great girlfriend, and I think it was a shame 
that he was a Freshman in college without having even gotten to first base with 
a girl. I didn't feel bad for doing what I did, I didn't' feel like a tease or 
any of that. I felt like I was doing a good deed, boosting his confidence and 
Chris was a total gentleman about the whole thing. 
 
He did get a girlfriend shortly thereafter and maybe...just maybe...I helped him 
in some way.
 
We are friends to this day and trade emails once in awhile.


  
My_College_Years_Part_31