My College Years Part 16 By Corbin "When we were young, the future was so bright." -The Offspring ********** I am a legend in my own mind, how disgusting. I just went back and re-read some of this stuff and I sound so 'full of myself/shit/crap/whatever'. I think I am coming off like a big dork more then someone fairly conservative and quiet, which I really am. In addition, I try to review this stuff, and yet, I still manage to miss spelling and grammar mistakes, which only seem to jump out at me after it has been posted. What the hell is up with that? Okay get ready, I have something to vent on, I bet no one saw this coming! ;) Anyways, you know you are a gym-rat whenever you go on vacation and the first thing you do is scope out the resort/hotel for a workout facility. Well, that is what I do. In fact, I did that this past weekend so every spare chance I got I would hustle down to the gym and workout. I like working out at these gyms because they seem to be rarely used by the Resort guests, giving me lots of privacy. The downside is that my workout schedule gets messed up because I find myself at the mercy of my partner. Which I totally understand, we don't go on vacation for me to workout, so if I have to cut back and miss a day or two of exercise so be it. Still sucks. So on with my rant, there I was, periodically glancing up at the TV mounted In the corner room when I catch a glimpse of a Viagra Commercial. Has anyone caught this thing? Where a guy comes running out of his house jumping up and down dancing on his porch, he appears so overcome with joy that he then begins to run down the street, where he then proceeds to encounter all of his other dorky-dumbass friends running down the street jumping for joy. Now, the volume was turned down on the TV (thank god). So while I was staring at this fiasco of a commercial I am just assuming that they are so overwhelmed with happiness because the drug helps their sex life. I also noticed that all of the men in the commercial were dumpy/overweight/pathetic looking. I actually had a smile on my face while watching that, thanking god I am not a man, because if I was I would be totally insulted. Basically (look at any sitcom/beer/Viagra commercial) and it portrays you men as a fat/stupid/impotent/balding/incompetent gender, totally to be outdone by smarter more beautiful women. (Maybe you like that?) Me? Well I am disheartened that so many men appear unaffected by this Media Characterization that they are insulting you, slapping you in the face as being stupid/fat/lazy/worthless, where only your TV counterparts are able to marry/date beautiful women. For god's sake WAKE UP! (Sorry guys, I know I really abused the crap out of you in the prior paragraphs. Amazingly, I really do like men). What a shame I just wasted all that space above complaining about TV Commercials when I really wanted to talk about my dating habits-skills, or lack thereof :) College was my real indoctrination into that world of barhopping, socializing, flirting (I was terrible at flirting). Anyway, this will have to wait till next time as I'm tired of this topic. ********** Although Dale and I were both warmly greeted by friends at the bar, I was about to have a nervous breakdown. I was not comfortable being at the center of social attention, and found a shift taking place from circulating with single friends to people that were dating and suddenly making small talk with me, another thing I seemed ill prepared to do. For the longest time, I felt like I was inadequate for not being able to exchange in what I deemed 'meaningless conversation' 'Or maybe I'm just too judgmental?' I had started to wonder. A feeling of relief swept over me when I saw Nikki with several of girls from the Soccer Team. I was a little distressed to see them acting somewhat uninhibited by the amount of alcohol they had consumed. I simply smiled allot and turned down repeated requests to chug beer or do shots as I made my way to the bar and asked to have a diet Coke. The bartender smiled, "You driving?" He asked indicting it was on the house if I was a designated driver. "No, I just don't like drinking alcohol very often" I sighed. "Well here, just ask me and you can have all the Diet Coke's on the house, it's not often we get someone that shows a little restraint." He shifted his eyes up and down the expansive bar, packed with students sucking down drink after drink. "Thanks!" Said I above the roar of the crowd and turned around, Dale was standing off to my left. Suddenly I felt something tug at my Coke glass and whipped my head to the right, a fairly attractive black guy was standing there. I thought I recognized him from the football roster. He and several other people were doing shots at the bar, 'But why is he tugging at my glass?' I wondered. "No, no, we can't have this, here do a shot!" He leaned in close as his left hand came up holding what appeared to be a shot of tequila. I gripped my glass tighter and knotted my eyebrows up, "If I wanted to do a shot, I would have gotten one." and tugged on my glass, but he refused to let go and several other guys and girls began trying to egg me on to do one. "No." I said while he continued a tug of war with me on my glass. "Come on, just one! Just try one! Have you ever tried one before?" He smiled trying to pressure me into taking a shot. But I was fed up and looked over at Dale who was distracted with a few of his friends across the bar. "Fine, you keep it." and I let go of my glass throwing my hands up in the air and pushed off to my left, away from the guy and his gang of shot takers. "Hey! Hey! Wait!" I could hear the guy calling after me, but I had made my escape slipping thru several gaps in the crowd. But I didn't make it far, a couple of the girls from my Soccer team snagged me as I had unintentionally made my way to a section of the establishment where a local radio station was doing a live promotional show. "They're collecting bras from all the girls, it's for charity, so give up your bra and sign it, they'll be having an auction later." Dee leaned in close. I looked at her as if the girl had just grown a third eye, "What? What did you just ask me?" "Don't give me that look Corbin! Come on it's for a good cause!" Dee said, "Yeah!" Piped up Laurie to my right. "Who is that?" I looked over at the live broadcast booth. "That morning show, 'Elliot in the Morning'" Dee chimed in. I rolled my eyes and mumbled, "I can't stand that idiot and I'm damn sure not giving anyone my bra." I looked to my left and right as I spoke, "There are much better and more lucrative ways to collect for charity, without degrading yourself for everyone's amusement!" I chastised. "Come on Corbin, don't be that way!" Dee continued to prod. "No, leave it alone, if she doesn't want to, that's cool." Laurie decided not to push it. "Thanks." I gave a sincere smile, "I'm going to try and get another Coke, hopefully it won't be snatched from out of my hands this time." and I turned around to look for Dale, but didn't make it more then three steps when things went from annoying to flat out aggravating. "Where the fuck are you going?" Mora's upper lip curled with contempt as another couple girls from the soccer team flanked the Latin girl's left and right, one of them being Crissy. Amongst the crowd, noise and dimly lit bar it was hard to know just how inebriated Mora was and if she was really looking for trouble or to just trying to push my buttons some more. Mora seemed to have it in for me, in particular, ever since I narrowly escaped the hazing attempt. "Hello Mora, Crissy, Bev." my eyes engaged each one as I spoke their names respectively. "Loose track of Dale already?" Mora continued with her taunts, something I was used to. I figured that Mora just flat out did not like me, 'For whatever reason' I assumed, I was unable to put the puzzle together, but sometimes people just don't like other people. 'Maybe a vibe or whatever' I sighed internally. "Nope." I smiled and stepped around the three girls, but didn't get far. "Whoaa, whoa, whoa!" Mora said, sticking her right hand out to block me from leaving, "You too good to talk with us?" Mora's eyebrows knotted up with irritation. In fact, Mora did have a problem with me, and the list was long perhaps not justifiable, but still I seemed to embody everything Mora was secretly jealous of; Blonde, tall, muscular, beautiful, smart, athletic, and a decent boyfriend. All the things Mora didn't have. Now let's be clear right now, Mora was a very attractive girl, but in her eyes she never measured up and her constant on the prawl hostility gave her a very bad reputation, which in turn caused guys not to be that interested in her. She was just too much of a liability to date. "What Mora?" I sighed, my tone getting more irritated now as I stopped about an inch short of running into Mora's arm that now blocked my way. "You better learn how to start sucking up to us a little better and loose the attitude if you know what's good for you!" Mora's look became stern. She was in fact itching for a fight with me and I felt my heart pound in my chest while Crissy watched me intently, Crissy I heard had gone thru the same hazing ritual when I was new to the team and hated the thought that I might somehow elude my turn. "Now I want you to go and get us three Miller Lights, now!" Mora nodded her head towards to the bar and slowly lowered her arm. I stood dumbfounded, 'Is she ordering me around now?', I didn't know what to think it seemed so irrational to be treated this way, so demeaning, but I guess that's the whole point. Forced to do shitty chores around the locker room and now off to fetch drinks for senior girls that demand it on the team. 'Fuck this sucks' but I loved soccer too much and wanted to try and figure out some way to get into the good graces of the team. I figured they all had to endure some right-of-passage bullshit. I glared at Mora for a second but slowly started walking towards the bar, my mood suddenly somber. "Another soda?" The guy quickly appeared from behind the bar. "Three Miller Light's." I rolled my eyes. He looked at me oddly for a minute and then I hooked my right thumb over my shoulder to the three girls watching me from a few feet away. He nodded and turned around to fetch the beers while I fished for some cash out of my pockets. "Thanks" I huffed and turned to head over to where the girls waited, all smiling and talking amongst themselves. "That's more like it." Mora said with a big grin of satisfaction. "Yeah." Crissy sneered snatching her beer from my hands. "You straighten up, do what he fuck you're told and we'll get along fine. You understand?" Mora glared, obviously waiting for an answer. "Yeah" I mumbled, stuffing my hands into my pockets while my jaw clenched. "What?" Crissy leaned in, cocking her head as if hard of hearing, causing Mora and Bev to laugh with approval. "Yes." I snapped louder while trying to restrain her anger. What I really wanted to do was plant my fist into Mora's mouth and then smack around the other two, but some amount of self doubt crept into my mind. While Mora and the other girls were smaller then me, all between 5' 4" and 5' 7", with Mora coming in around 5' 4". Mora carried around allot of spunk and never backed down from anyone, the girl seemed to know how to handle herself and was always looking for a scrap with someone. It made me wonder if the small Latin girl might just put me down for the count if we got to fighting. "Okay!" Mora smiled wickedly, "Now you may go." and waved her hand toward the crowd. I simply kept her jaw clenched and turned to walk away. "Pardon me, excuse me, pardon me." I pushed and shoved her way thru, fuming and sweating with anguish over what I just went thru. It seemed like every step I was also getting propositioned by some guy, but my mind was so distracted with Mora's taunts that I barely acknowledged anyone's comments. I was about to flag down the bartender again, this time I *needed* a drink when that black guy was suddenly at my left elbow, trying to get my attention. "Hey, I'm sorry about earlier, here's your drink back." He said, "By the way, my name is Shelton!" He set my glass on the bar and extended his left hand. I could tell he was very taken with me, the fact I was white turned him on immediately it seemed. I say that prior sentence more so in retrospect, when Shelton told me his name, I recalled exactly who he was, he was a 'player' and liked women allot, he espiciallly liked white girls, make that white, blonde girls. "I'm..." I was about to speak, when he finished my sentence. "Corbin, yeah I know!" He smiled. I looked at him with total confusion and shook me head, "How come everyone seems to know my name." I mumbled to myself and was sure he didn't hear it, my eyes studying my drink now placed in front of me. "Sorry about that." He smiled again and leaned in a bit more then someone should. I leaned away and then tilted my head down, staring at the fizzing carbonation still coming to the top of the glass. I had still not lost my common sense, or maybe I was just overly cautious because now I'm wondering if it was spiked. I doubted it because I had Dale and other friend's around who would be looking out for me. But the drink did leave my sight. "Thanks, but I think I'll have a beer now." I said. "Let me." Shelton quickly stepped up and ordered a Corona from the bartender. "No, no, really, please don't, I appreciate the offer but I'm with Dale." I said, I didn't want to lead any guy on. "That's okay, I know about you and Dale, I still want to buy you a drink." Shelton smiled and I felt that old stern attitude of mine begin to rise, wondering if Shelton was another guy who saw every attractive girl as an open target, regardless if they had a boyfriend or not. But something in me wasn't so determined to 'go off', in fact I was feeling a little burned-out and decided to relent, allowing Shelton to go ahead and buy me the drink. 'No harm in it I guess' I sighed privately. "Thanks." I even allowed a slight smile to escape from the corner of my mouth. "My god, she smiles!" He laughs and I had to admit his reaction was pretty funny as I smiled more and took a much welcome sip on the beer. "There, that wasn't so bad." Shelton kept up his own infectious smile and his left hand gripped my right bicep. I decided to take the touch and his flirting as nothing more then just being friendly, I also had to admit that it felt nice not getting so defensive for once and just enjoyed the attention. Yet I still leaned away from him whenever he would get too close for comfort. Glancing around I caught sight of Dale, surrounded by a group of friends looking as if he was having a good time, I simply smiled and sipped on my drink when I saw him crane his neck to look around the room. His eyes grew wide when he saw my face and waved me over, I just smiled and waved back wanting to hang back for a little while and try to relax some more before joining him, I didn't want Dale detecting any of my stress from the run in with Mora. "You've got some serious definition there." Shelton admiringly approved as he gave my bicep another gentle squeeze. "Oh, thanks." I shrugged and blushed at the compliment. I was fading in and out of the conversation with Shelton and knew he was hitting on me big time. Yes, I was offended, but my emotional 'skin' was getting thicker to all of it. Finally, I began to understand why my friends played the flirting game, it was just easier thenconstantly deflecting come-on's. Some men would go so far as to get hostile when abruptly rejected, which I could give a shit at times, but tonight I was drained and would rather politely deflect Shelton's advances with some innocent flirting then to tell him to simply 'buzz off'. I had started to draw lines by leaning away from him as he would lean in, something he seemed to pick up on, but he had not totally removed his hand from my arm, I could detect his touch, although it was very light at best. The other thing to mention is that Shelton had that well developed ability to initiate converstation with anyone he chose, he could be lighthearted and funny, without coming off as arrogant. He could also laugh at himself, part of that was a natural component of his personality while other parts were skills he developed to help pick-up girls. In the end, he knew how to play everything off as just innocent flirting, which all means that you have to be very well in tune with what the other persons body language is conveying. "Shelton." I sighed and looked up at his attentive dark eyes. "If you want to stand here and have a pleasant conversation, we can do that. But that's all." My expression became just a tad bit tense, hoping to drive home the point. "I totally respect that. But please your totally not my type." Shelton smirked and took a sip. I just nodded and smiled at his little word games, "I guess your just bored with everone else in the bar and would rather stand here with me, right?" "Maybe, or maybe the alcohol is really getting to my brain, imparies ones judgement." He said leaning in close again, his voice low, forcing me to lean in and hear him. Another nice trick, and I have to admit, the little bantering going on was kind of amusing. "Hello Stranger." Came the sweet sounding voice to my left and it jarred me to find that I almost didn't recognize it. I then felt my lips uncontrollably curl into a smile, but a smile that bespoke of something maybe just a little sad at the sudden sight of my friend Sharon. "Hello yourself." I gushed and was momentarily dazzled by Sharon's beauty, which had the same effect on Shelton who was astounded at having these two gorgeous women in front of him, one brunette the other blonde. "Hey girl." Sharon said and leaned in, giving me a light hug. I patted Sharon on the back in return. "Pardon us, but I have to speak with my friend in private." Sharon leaned around my shoulder and spoke at Shelton. "I'm pissed at you!" Sharon huffed as I was pulled thru the crowd by the arm. "What? Why?" I smiled at how it was starting to sound like the 'old' Sharon. "And why were you flirting with Shelton? I don't' believe you!" Sharon scolded. "I wasn't flirting!" I pinched my eyebrows together defensively. "Oh yes you were! You let him buy you a drink and I saw you blushing at some comments he was making, and he's black!" Sharon leaned in and whispered. "What?" I stammered at what Sharon was implying. "Sharon, I know he's Black.". 'What the fuck?' I thought privately, 'Does Sharon have something against black people now?'. "You sly devil, when were you planning on telling me about Dale! Oh my god, he is like so hot!" Sharon fussed as we found a corner of the bar to talk. I simply shrugged and sipped on my drink, "It's been awhile since we last talked." I raised an eyebrow of concern. "I know, I know, at least a couple of weeks, I'm sorry." Sharon sighed. "A month." I snapped, but quickly restrained my irritation and looked away. "What?" Sharon leaned in. "It's been a month since we've talked or seen one another." I glanced around the room, not wanting to get into an argument over the whole thing, or maybe I wanted to. Sharon leaned back stood stone faced for a second and nervously looked away. "I'm sorry" Sharon said. I acknowledged her apology, but just barely. "I'm really glad you and Dale are doing well." Sharon leaned in close to speak. "Thanks, things seem to going pretty well so far." I nodded, but I really was starting to tune Sharon out, I had started to accept the way things were, 'Sharon has her life now, doing her own thing, I guess that's fine.' I thought. Sharon sighed and rolled her eyes, as for me I hadn't expected to find her at this party and definitely didn't expect to be confronted with so many emotions. "I see you're here with all your Soccer buddies." Sharon pointed off into the crowd. "Oh, yeah, a few are pretty cool a few others are, well... " I didn't finish, not wanting to drop my problems at Sharon's feet, I wanted to show I could stand on my own. "I'm really glad your finding your niche here at school, I worry about you, you know?" Sharon smiled affectionately and touched my left arm. "Hey Sharon," I sighed and I know a real look of pain came over my face, but I leaned over and gave her a warm, tight embrace, "Call me okay?" I whispered into her ear and pulled away. Sharon reached out and gripped my hand, and I fought to keep my lower lip from trembling as we both allowed our pride to once more get in the way. "I'll call you!" Sharon called out as I turned away and pushed thru the crowd slipping from sight. With a faint tremble of anxiousness, I ran my fingers thru my hair, and for a moment I felt lost and a little uneasy with who I was and how things had turned out. I stole a glance in the direction I had departed but could no longer see her. Dale was having a blast and not at all paying attention to the time, but I was. He looked over to his left as he brought the beer up to his lips, I stood with my left wrist held up to signal my watch. He sighed and glanced down, '10:01pm' and he smiled at me although he was a bit frustrated at having to leave I'm sure I got a few glares from his football buddies and some girls as if I was utilitzing some form of control over Dale, maybe under some kind of spell and I was being too controlliing by indicting I wanted to leave early. ********** "Thanks." I sighed and felt him wrap his arm around me and pull me in close, but my mind still was thinking about Sharon and looking over my shoulder one more time, but never saw my friend as we stepped thru the exit. The drive back to his place was quiet, the silence lasted until we got to the apartment, Steve still out and Dale decided to bring something up that obviously had been on his mind lately. He laid back on top of his unmade bed, having stripped down to his boxers and a t-shirt. "Still not comfortable changing in front of me?" he asked with a smile. I stopped and rested my left knee on the mattress at the foot of the bed while clasping my hands behind my, "Look Dale, if this is making you uncomfortable maybe it was wrong of me to assume it was okay to sleep over as much as I do?" I looked down. "No not at all!" He sat up, "I thought you stayed over here because you liked spending time with me." He said a little defensively. "I do." I looked up. "But it's just hard having you so close, and having to restrain myself when I have someone like you, who's so gorgeous laying next to me." He waved his left hand to my side of the bed, "And" Dale sighed laying back down. "What tell me." I asked and leaned forward, until I had to put my hands out in front of me as my weight carried me the rest of the way. I pushed my elbows up under my chest until I was comfortably laying on my stomach with my legs bent so my feet pointed to the ceiling. Dale rolled over to his left, propping his head up with his left palm. "It's like, you keep me at arms length emotionally and physically, and that's hard to take because I've really fallen for you I, I mean it's like I spend time thinking about our future together and," Dale hesitated for a second which gave me a chance to jump in, "But Dale, we've only been dating a little over a month now!" I sighed and rummaged my fingers thru my loose hair. "Well okay, but there are allot people asking questions about what's going on, and I get tired of being ribbed by friends over their misconception of what's going on." He said in frustration. "Just ignore them!" I sighed. "How? It's not that easy." Dale sat up trying to get closer to where I was stretched out on the end of the bed, but that closeness eluded him as I soon sprang up to a standing position. "You want things easy?" "Wait, wait Corbin!" Dale pleaded. "Then if I just stay at my own place." I frantically spouted. "No, wait." Dale's voice got a little urgent. "From now on, that will give them less to gossip about and less stress for you, how about that?" I took a couple of steps towards my bag, looking at his reaction.My_College_Years_Part_16